#but that wasn't an option so i substituted it with this one

[skrunksthatwunk]

good news: next piece is a saejima cat-related comic

bad news: i uh. i don't know how to draw cats skull emoji

[thedivinetarot]

He said to be cool and I know he means it

How do you view men?

☆ How to chose the perfect pile for you?

1) Close your eyes.

2) Clear your mind

3) Take a deep breathe.

4) Ask the question in your head and the picture you are drawn to the most is your pile.

☆ Note:

- First thing is Thank you guys for 100 follower. I'm so happy that our family is growing fast. I'm also grateful that such a wonderful souls are following me here on tumblr, may God bless you❤.

- In this reading we are going to dig into your deep subconscious mind on your views of men.

- This reading is going to help you at where you stand in your opinions and views towards men.

- Also it will help you discover the hidden parts of your subconscious mind and your behavior towards men.

- This is a general reading so take what resonates and leave the rest.

- Pile three can be triggering for some, so if you are not comfortable reading it then don't.

- This reading can't substitute any psychiatrist help. So if you have a problem you can ask for a professional help.

Stay safe ❤

Arya

☆ This reading well be divided into three questions:

1) Your past relationships with men.

2) Your subconscious beliefs about them.

3) How does all of that affect you currently?

Pile 1 - Walking Sylvia

Your past relationships with men:

I see that this pile held into a connection that was not meant for them. I see you getting attached to someone you thought it was your soulmate or twin flame but it wasn't really the one. I see also that you kept persistent and stubborn especially in front of others. It is like you bet with your friends or people around you that he is the one but everyone know that he is not. If this is not the case I see that you were dating or in a relationship with someone who is considered a safe option but wasn't really that good for you as a person. You might have your planets square their planets in synastry chart. I see that your first role models (Your caregivers or parents) wasn't really that good either. They might stayed together but they clearly should've been divorced too long ago. I see that you hated the dynamic between them and you always wondered if you'll get the same or not. And now you look back at the men you dated and feel cringe? I don't know pile one. Maybe you feel nostalgic to the feeling but not the person. I see that you are someone who prefers predictability over getting out of your comfort zone. So, you might dated multiple "safe options" to not get triggered by the new or unpredictable people. You might even rejected the idea of traditional role in the relationships, like the dom-sub or feminine-masculine or the men who provide financially. You also might dated people who have 50/50 mindset or feminine boys. Or boys/men who are not considered attractive but they were a safe option for you.

Your subconscious beliefs about men:

Ooh pile one, I think your subconscious belief about men is that they are a disappointment. I see that you might have a male caregiver who didn't make you feel safe enough to be in your feminine energy. This caregiver might made you feel like you are not enough; physically, mentally, or in general. This man made you feel worthless and no one would really care for you. So, you grew up trying to earn this attention by being hyper vigilant in your relationships with men. You might give and give too much even for the options that is considered "safe". And you might overthink everything you do or say around men. You might say "Damn why did I say that!" Alot Or "Do I look ugly or deformed for him" because he didn't look at you, after each interaction. And if not, some people in this group wore an iron mask in front of men. You wouldn't show emotions or any expression around them. But deep inside you are a little girl screaming and crying. People in this group might have self worth problems. You might overdo your make up, overdress yourself etc. This subconscious belief kept you stuck in the same old patterns and made you superman in the relationship with men. As I said before; you might got mad or angry at the traditional roles of the male and female relationships. And tried to be the initiative person in most interactions you had with men. Another subconscious belief is you'll be miserable alone? Pile one loneliness is something normal in this generation, everyone feels lonely but please don't let this loneliness affect your relationships. Don't go for good guys or "safe options" if you feel like they are no good for you.

How does all of that affect you currently?

So, all of this affect you currently by isolating you from romantic interactions. You might be someone who has been alone for too long. I see that you took this period of loneliness as a reflection period and reevaluated your old relationships. Like right now you are discovering what you truly value and want in romantic relationships. I see that this period of isolation and loneliness is slowly going to be over. I'm not seeing any romantic offers coming to you, but definitely I'm seeing you are slowly putting yourself out there. I also see that you are working hard and being persistent with yourself. You might just moved out from your parents house or wanting to settle down on your own or wanting to live in another place or change your location. I see you now being more in your feminine energy. You might have rejected that idea before but now you are slowly accepting the fact that you are good on your own but a good company won't hurt. You might be putting yourself out there, and getting to know people with no strings attached. I see that you are enjoying yourself truly and feeling calm and collected more than before. You might started to realize that you need to be more assertive of your current life. You might be someone who say "I'm the master of my own fate now". So, yeah you might also realized that your life needs you more than you need anyone.

Pile 2 - Sylvia laying on the towel

Your past relationships with men:

I see that this piles collective are mostly happily married women or new bride. I see that you either got married to the love of your life and feeling so happy and excited to spend the rest of your life with them or you have a happy marriage and a loving spouse in general. I see that you also might be pregnant with a baby girl and this girl will have water placements? (Pisces, cancer or scorpio). Anyways this pile’s energy towards men is so reassuring honestly. I don't really see that you have a bad relationships with men. You might be someone who is considered beautiful or pretty by social standards so any man who dated you wished that he could marry you right away. I see that you have a traditional relationship with men. You might be someone who date for marriage and if not then you might date for potential rather than money. Or you might want to start dating for marriage. I see that men always crush on you and they feel this urge to protect you and make you happy. I see that you are the type that make any man want marriage and other stuff. Like if a player met you and got the chance to know you, he might suddenly want to marry and have kids right away. You have this energy of "I'm the perfect wife". You might be a great option for men who want to settle down. They see the potential in you, the kids, the home you'll make. I guess this pile didn't really face bad things regard dating or perhaps most people in this pile are already married to their twin flame or soulmate. I see a lot of love and happiness (I'm so happy for you guys🥺).

Your subconscious belief about men:

This pile is a complete sweetheart to be honest. I see that you see men as great leaders and as someone who is going to guide you through your life. You might have a lot of taurus or libra placements or just your feminine energy is quite balanced. Also I feel that your sacral chakra is balanced or a little hyperactive? You might really care about men's pepe size? Omg pile two I feel turned on for no reason, do you perhaps fantasize about sex a lot? You might view sex as something sacred or extremely important for your well being. You might feel or like the sex between you and your partner a lot. I don't know why I got into all of these sexual stuff all of sudden. But I feel like subconsciously you might view men as sexually satisfying? You might had a great sexual companions or you just like that in general. I also see that you like assertive and wise men, men with a great vision of the future. Sex and men is something important in pile two's life. You might have the lover archetype? You can search that btw. But generally your subconscious thoughts about men are good I don't really see something bad, perhaps there's a thing but it is not considered bad. You might get attached to your partner? Perhaps, you might get a little obsessed with your partner. Not too much just a little. Or you like depending on them a lot. There's nothing wrong with being dependent but don't let that affect you whole being.

How does all of that affect you currently?

Okay, so I do see that this pile is very dedicated to their partner. I see that you might be someone who always keep in check of their partner's needs and wants. You also work simultaneously on making their partner satisfied and happy. I also see a very confident energy from you pile 2. You may be very confident in who you are, you may not be just beautiful but also with good personality. I see that you are nurturing and sweet when it comes to your family and partner. You make them feel comfortable and appreciated. I see that your spouse or partner feel on cloud 9 with you. They feel grateful for meeting you and keeping you in their life. I also see that you are someone who cares a lot for children. You take extra mile to help them and make them feel seen and heard. You might also have the mother archetype as a secondary function within your personality (search for the archetype if you don't know them). I see that unlike some people you chose you partners wisely and above all you stick for them through thick and thin. You are a marriage material pile two, may happiness always stay on your side.

Pile 3 - Sylvia on the beach

Past relationships with men:

Pile three I see that you are obsessed with manifesting your SP? Or you might try to manifest someone back into your life? I see you trying to manifest either an Ex or or someone whom your relationship with wasn't good for you but you thought it was so good. I pulled a confirmation card and and yes; you and this person might have distance between you two. Okay in this pile I am picking up on three energies, the first one talk about manifesting an Ex back. The second is manifesting someone with a specific traits and the third energy is for LGBTQ? I think some people in this pile kinda prefer women. I see that this pile have dated both gender or you were in a marriage with a man but it turned out to be so stressful for you, I also see that this pile might have realized that they prefer another gender? Like you might be someone who has been dating men for ages but then you crushed on a woman and now you are dating. I honestly see that scenario too, another scenario is that this pile didn't really get along with people from the opposite gender so you grow up liking women (the same gender as you) or even becoming a lesbian? I understand pile three (men are stressful). You might be a fire sign (Aries, Leo and sagittarius) or Air sign (Gemini, Libra and Aquarius), or you have those placements in your chart. I see also a strong Gemini energy too so you might be someone who is bisexual or gay in general. Or someone who really doesn't care about dating any kind of gender. I don't know why this came in so strongly. But feel free to take what resonates okay pile three?.

Your subconscious beliefs about men:

Woah, the cards kept jumping like crazy. This pile’s energy is so strong. Anyways I see that you have many toxic subconscious belief about men pile three. You think that men are a pure disappointment and that you need to keep your relationship with them as professional as possible. I think people in this pile might work in a field that requires them to always interact with men and if not. You might work in a teaching field or you might be a teacher yourself. I see that you have fantasized about weddings and wearing the perfect white dress but not to a man. You might like the idea of marriage but not marriage itself. I also see that some of your parents weren't really in a good marriage (financially) so you grow up in poverty or poor. I see that men aren't really interesting in your own lens pile three. I see also that you might be afraid to get in a relationship with a man because you are scared of getting used and left out. This pile seriously need to heal from abandonment wound, ooh I get it now! You might be someone who got abandoned by their male caregiver? I see that you might never met your real father or your father have left you in the dark so you grow up poor and fatherless (I'm so sorry pile three, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings). I see also that you might fear men deep down and fear being vulnerable with them? So you chose women as romantic interest (there’s nothing wrong with that). Anyways, you might have developed a close relationship with female friends and caregiver in general. So, you grew up rejecting men and not truly liking them. The moral story for this pile is to heal your abandonment wound and forgive yourself pile three, I'm getting this image of a girl doing destructive behaviors so she can never feel the pain of abandonment inside.

How does all of that affect you currently?

I see that you guys have a very unrealistic expectations from others and your own self. Even in the same gender relationship, you might be putting your standards so high that no one really can meet them. So, people might have called you picky with whom you date. This is funny idk where it came from but I think men called you a gold-digger because you have standards pile three (I respect that sm). I see that you enter a relationship with high expectations; at first both parties (you and your partner) at some point were able to meet them but then boom, you break up because you both have different views and well, expectations. I see that this pile can literally move on in a blink of an eye. You guys have a very chaotic energy, that's what I'm feeling. Also you might be a serial dater? Or you might be someone who is generous with giving or don't give at all but I see it is coming from you pile three especially in the money matter. You might be a little immature in the heart matter. I see that you might always get disappointed with how things are in your romantic relationships. I'm picking up on someone who's on a roller-coaster emotionally. I think you guys need to reflect and on your values and learn the lessons from your previous relationships, because it is literally causing you a lot of destruction in your life. Try to get in the hermit mode for a couple of months, try solo dating, reflect on your own values and what you truly want and appreciate in a partner and one day you'll be able to see the light coming in and you'll definitely find someone who will make you happy. And if not you have yourself, and as the wizard Liz said "You have you, you’ll never leave you" and I think it is beautiful. Try to watch her videos on YT she is a gem❤. God bless you pile three, take care of yourself.

Pile 4 - Sylvia Smiling

Your past relationship with men:

Okaaayyy, so I do think this pile are my lone wolf pile. This pile’s energy is soooo detached, especially from reality. I see that you haven't really had any real or physical connection to men. You might be a virgin because I feel like you never truly got engaged sexually with men before. You might be single since birth and the only interaction you had with men was a faraway crush, you don't care about real men, you are the girl who crush on fictional characters. I see that you are in your head most of the time. You fantasize about fictional men and /or your crush. You might be someone who is too shy to date or even have a romantic connection with someone even if they are interested. This pile gives off the damsel in distress vibe. Want to be saved by her fictional man rather than real one. You have a strong personality pile 4, you might be so independent in real life but when it comes to your imagination? Holy moly, you are so in love with fictional men and you want to be saved by them. I'm hearing "A man that do not exist", And if you are not like that you might be limerent on someone, yes, you might be a virgin and never dated but you had a crush on someone and it grew into limerence. Because I see that you are detached from the situation but in your head you are living and breathing this fantasy. Perhaps if you suspect having limerence you can read about it because it is not a crush. Crushes are short termed but limerence can take years to wear off. You might be even hesitant to talk to that person and if you do I don't think much really happen between you two. You are giving me the vibe of that one movie of Audry Hepburn, the movies name was Sabrina you can watch it if you want. It literally describes you perfectly. You might be also so sophisticated and diplomatic with males in general.

Your subconscious beliefs about men:

It is not about men, more about you pile 4. As I said above, you are very independent and detached. You do your own thing and you live the way you want. I see that this pile doesn't really like the idea of committing to something, you are free spirited and genuine. You might have the wild woman archetype, so genuine and raw. I see that the beliefs you are holding into are 1) I need to be constantly working on myself. And 2) I need to be independent so no one can control me. I see a very sweet energy but bold at the same time. Maybe like pile three you might have abandonment wound, especially from your father. He were there and not there at the same time. He might be dry with you emotionally, I see that he was there physically and financially but emotionally? Alas. He might made you feel rejected or left out in the cold; so, as a coping mechanism you started maladiptive daydreaming to escape the pain. This pile need to do shadow work tbh (you can search shadow work prompt on pinterest if you want to). I see you escaping to your own little fantasy world to not feel the pain of abandonment, healing is required to be able to form strong bond with men. And above all, realistic relationships with them. This pile is not destructive at all unlike pile three; their energy was so destructive, like they are dumping out all their trauma on constant dating and other destructive methods. I see this pile is very creative, you might be INFP,ISFP, INFJ, ISFJ and very small group are ENFJ. I am seeing creative with sharp tongue. You might be honest too. I see that you are an earth sign (Virgo, Taurus or Capricorn) or have those placements, some of you may be an aquarius too.

How does all of that affect you currently?

I got you pile four, you may lie about your marital status? Like if someone approached you because they like you, I see that you'll lie to them about being taken. You might tell those men that you are in a relationship? I see you using this method so you can run away from unwanted attention. You might not like the attention of the men who approach you in general. I see that some people in this group are constantly manifesting their future spouse, and you are waiting for him to materialize in you 3D? And if not then I see you being so intuitive about who you are going to marry. This pile is witchy; You may be a witch or a tarot reader and you know who your future spouse is. I see that you are waiting for them to be in your life. This pile are so in their head, like in reality they are so detached, closed off and passive. But behind the scenes you guys are constantly manifesting your spouse or a specific person to marry you. I see some of you have already lost faith in manifesting that person and others quit that too long ago, because nothing really happen. I see that you are working on yourself (self care, workout, etc). And focusing on your own thing (studying, going to school/college, working your 9-5 shift). But mentally you are imagining many scenarios on how you'll meet them and how they are going to be like (future spouse or SP). I see that many people in this pile are young like literally under 28 years old or even under 30. Guys I see that you might get the person you want but you do really need to get out of your comfort zone. And embrace change, I see that many of you are either introverts or have passive personalities in general. You might not have many friends or a very tight social circle. You need to face reality and be more assertive of what you want in relationships pile four.

Thank you for reading, take care❤.

Post date: 28th/Aug/2024-Wed

*Feedback is appreciated

[dwindlinghaze]

lover in the foyer

(remus lupin x reader)

summary: remus lupin loves you, but his best friend 'likes' you too. so you both ended up fake dating.

contents: fluff, hurt/comfort, protective remus, r and remus are totally in love fr.

　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

it was a secret that you have a little crush on remus lupin. you kept that information to yourself 'cause you couldn't let the others know- it would be too embarrassing if they do. for years you've been hiding your feelings. burying it deep inside your heart.

well, that was until one day on the marauder's dormitory, a conversation was spoken.

"i've got something to tell," james started, sitting up right on his bed.

"what is it?" remus replied.

"promise you won't call me crazy?" he asked.

"we promise!" the other three said in unison.

"i'm starting to like a girl... and it's not lily," said the boy.

"what?" sirius asked, not believing what his mate just said. it was globally known that james potter loves lily evans. no one else. it has been six years since.

"yeah... it's y/n,"

a ringing silence filled the room.

you weren't super close with them four. although you are kind of friends with remus. you two talked occasionally when passing through the hallways or in the great hall.

during those small little encounters, remus might've caught some feelings. something different bloomed in his heart. hearing james saying this made his heart burn.

"i feel like she'd be a good distraction- i mean from lily. maybe that way i can make lily jealous and then she'll confess to me. even if lily-flower didn't, y/n would still be decent as a girlfriend i guess. no harm," james continued.

remus frowned, his skin burning. how could someone do that? having you as a second option? total bullshit. he wouldn't let you get treated like that. he wouldn't let james pick on your self esteem like that.

you're too good for anyone. he knows. being a substitute for someone because their crush doesn't like them back is not morally right. your soft heart is too precious to be crushed that way.

"prongs- i think that's a good idea! by then you can get lily to confess to you! you'd be everything!" sirius encouraged james, much to remus' dismay.

"moons?"

"moony has been real quiet-"

"i don't think that's a good idea," remus said sternly. he would be flaring laser beams from his eyes at james if he were a cartoon character.

james' mouth dropped, "why?"

"because- cause she's my girlfriend!" remus spoke abruptly, not knowing what he had actually said.

"your what?" all three of them screamed in shock. remus never said anything about a girl.

"how long?"

"how did that happen?"

"why didn't you tell us?"

"stop!" remus yelled, making them shut their mouth. he was panicking now. you are not his girlfriend. you'll never be. not now. not even tomorrow or the day after tomorrow.

"i started to date her like... two weeks ago," remus said before standing up, grabbing his bag before he headed out of the room. "i have to go, she said something about wanting to meet me in the library."

he fumbled with the hem of his sweater. it was cold, but he was sweating heavily. he has to find you.

thank god the marauder's map was on his bag or he would be caught lying. he saw your name- beautifully written- you were on the clocktower field, sitting alone.

remus ran to where you are, panting when he arrived.

"oh y/n!" he said, taking heavy breaths.

"yeah? remus?" you looked up from your book, gazing at him with the softest yet confused pretty eyes.

"i made a big mistake- i'm so so sorry!" remus said hurriedly. his sweat trickling down his forehead.

"calm down rem, i'm sure it wasn't that horrible! sit beside me, we can talk," you sent him a comforting smile, patting the empty seat beside you.

remus sat down, wiping his palms on his trousers. how does he say it? when does he start?

"you okay?" you asked.

"noyou'rereallyprettyandkindandlovelyandsweetandiknowyouwillneverlikemebackandyouwillhatemeforthisbecauseiclaimedthatyouaremygirlfriendfortwoweeksandimsososorry."

"say that again?" you laughed, pulling out a napkin to hand it to the poor nervous boy before you.

"i may or may not have said that you are my girlfriend in front of my friends."

"why would you say that?" your heart skipped a beat, taking in the words remus has spoken. you'd be lying if you said that you've never dreamed of this- being called remus lupin's girl.

"because- it's kind of stupid really. i got it out before i even know what i was talking about that moment," he scrambled with his words, finding it hard to form a sentence right now.

"basically, james told me that he likes you but i know he does not like you. he said he wanted to go out with you just so lily can realise that she is in love with him. and i would never let him do that to you. putting you second, you deserve so much better than that. and long story short, i said that you are my girlfriend... yeah."

remus lupin was doing this for you. so that you don't get played. how sweet.

"uhm," you looked down, playing with the hem of your skirt.

"uhm- would you be in for- y'know fake dating... me..?" remus said awkwardly. "it's alright if you don't want to, i'll make some excuses. but please don't agree on going out with james. i don't want you hurt," he whispered the last words. it was half self-indulgent in his part. seeing his the girl he's been pining for years dating his best friend is not a good feeling. but he also doesn't want you to be a second choice. it feels horrible to be. knowing that feeling all to well.

"okay- i guess i can date you," you said shyly. cheeks turning crimson.

"okay- great. we can stop if you don't feel comfortable. don't wanna pressure- just for a few weeks," he said once more.

"it's fine rem, or should i call you honey? or darling? or-" you laughed, seeing his flushed face. he is so adorable. how lucky you are to have him as your 'boyfriend'.

"how can i be a girlfriend?" you asked as you two walked back from the field.

holding hands.

it wasn't in his mind that you would ever hold his hand but you are now. dreams really do come true huh.

"we just keep it normal- i mean like we hold hands, and maybe i will hug you more often, those pda stuffs. remember, only if you're comfortable." such a gentleman he is. he always makes sure that you are comfortable everytime. gosh that gave you the fluttery butterflies.

"okay, i can manage," you giggled.

"y/n- darlin'', can i sit with you during breakfast tomorrow?" remus whispered. you both were sitting on the common room in the corner, the other marauders sprawled a few feet away.

"sure, you can," you smiled softly at him.

he squeezed your hands, resting his cheek on your shoulder. this small action gave you butterflies, the pretty sparks. his face was pressed against the fabric of your soft cardigan, with one of his arm around you.

it's just been three days and you have fallen more in love.

remus on the other hand is trying not to get this too much in his head or he'd go feral. being this close to you and basically cuddling on the couch felt like a fever dream. one that he doesn't want to wake up from.

your silky skin, that periwinkle smile, those wonderstruck lips, angelic face, your incandescent touch, those misty eyes. he loves them all. how could one not? he felt the luckiest in the school for having this. having you with him on a cold friday night under the same fluffy blanket of yours. the smell of you intoxicating his nose. he isn't bothered by it. he enjoyed it.

the most obvious thing in a relationship is display of affection. though it wasn't hard for any of you to do that. remus held your bag, your books, your papers, even the things you can do yourself. he insisted that he had to help you bring them.

and that goes for days. you and remus fake dating.

james was still skeptical about remus sudden relationship. remus was never the one to look for love in his life. well- at least that's what sirius observed.

he couldn't help but look more into details of remus' 'relationship'. he noticed how remus never kissed you in public. or at least when he's in the same room as you and remus are.

"if you've been dating for three weeks now, why haven't you two got in the next step yet?" james squinted his eyes at the both of you. holding hands while studying.

"whatever do you mean by that?" remus questioned.

"like- i don't know kissing..?"

"i do kiss her often," remus replied, shrugging before he squeezed your knuckles, rubbing soft circles.

"how come i've never seen it?" james asked childishly.

"well here. maybe because you don't have to see or know or hear everything about my personal life," remus replied rather coldly.

"i'm starting to think you two are f-"

james' words were cut short as remus' lips locked to yours, wrapping them in a deep kiss.

james let out an "o" sound, walking outside the common room because the tension would be awkward for the three of you.

the moment he stepped out of the room, remus pulled away. eyes brimmed with fear and embarrassment. "sweetheart, i'm so sorry," remus said.

"it's okay remus..." you still haven't processed what had just happened but you sure did kind of enjoyed it.

"um we- we should do that more often. i mean- to make it more real y'know..." he said stiffly. it's not actually about 'making it more real'. he just wanted to kiss you, feel you. he really liked kissing you.

you didn't know what you're getting yourself into. you thought whatever this thing is would only last for two days and then you'll be back in your daydreaming days. but it wasn't. remus is still there.

that goes on for months. the both of you went from holding hands, to kissing, to lean on each other, to more boyfriend and girlfriend things. if you didn't know better, you'd think he's not faking all of this.

hogsmeade trip is coming up, that's the only thing the students are talking about right now. visiting new shops and doing early holiday shoppings. you'd be lying if you said you weren't excited. not only will the village be like a winter wonderland with the snow all over the ground and the roof, but also since remus is going with you for the day.

"you excited, dove?" remus smiled when he met you halfway on the walk to the carriage. he pulls out his gloved hand from his pocket to place it around your back.

you pressed yourself against his warmth, giggling in content. you didn't really have to speak, remus knows.

he kissed the top of your forehead, then guide you to the carriage with some random students.

as the thestrals pulled, you beamed when the snow starts falling down. perfect. everything is so perfect right now. snowflakes fall down your lashes and hair, a sight remus wanted to tattoo in his mind forever.

you had worn make up today, he can visibly see the pinkish shadow in your eyelids. remus couldn't help but admire how pretty your make up looks. how you're so good at doing anything.

your lips were a pink shade close to your natural ones, he wanted to kiss them- give your lips warmth. he was staring at you for so long to the point where he didn't realise that the carriage had arrived.

"it's pretty here! i always love seeing snow on the roof," you smiled brightly at the snow-covered roofs, inhaling the smell of fresh snow falling from the sky.

"they sure are," he agreed, "do you want to go to the cafe for a bit? the ride was cold," he blew his palms.

"of course!"

smell of fresh baked goods filled your nose, contrast to the outside. you two chose a spot near the fireplace, ordering a cup of hot cocoa.

there was a comfortable silence between the both of you. neither really have to talk. you just smiled at each other occasionally, looking around the room after. times like these make your fake relationship feels real.

when you finished your cups of hot cocoa, you two went to honeydukes, buying lots of sweets for the holiday stocks.

remus paid for your chocolates. you insisted on paying them yourself but he refused. dumping his handful of sweets over yours so they were mixed, making it impossible for you to pick yours up.

"rem, you know you can't do this right?"

"why not?" he pouted, "i want to be a good boyfriend after all."

he gave butterflies to your stomach, you hide your visibly burning cheeks on his shoulder, hugging his arm.

he loved that, so much. it feels so real, like you actually love being with him.

then you walked in a bookstore, choosing your read for the month. this time you were paying for him. "you're being so kind, and i love that but let me reciprocate that too!"

remus just nodded in defeat, kissing the crown of your head.

you and remus had a wonderful trip, one that will always be remembered. just before you part your ways, you said, "i've enjoyed the trip a lot. thank you remus for spending the day with me." you yawned, rubbing your eyes. then you kissed him. it was remus who initiates the kisses first, but this time it's you.

he cant help but feel those butterflies inside him again, holding your figure securely. "i'm getting tired, i'll see you tomorrow, love." you kissed him once more before climbing up to the girl's dormitory. leaving remus in utter shock.

maybe you guys aren't fake dating after all. maybe this is real all along. the last time the two of you ever said 'fake' was so long ago. that made him realise that this is real.

oh he can't sleep that night.

the next morning remus was skipping down to the great hall for breakfast with an uncontrolled smile on his face. this morning he woke up earlier, took a warm shower, brushed his hair, and do all things that james potter does.

"you look extra happy today hm?" james questioned, quirking one of his eyebrows up.

"just had a really good date yesterday, so good," remus replied, grabbing a plate of waffles with yoghurt and a bunch of other fruits.

"i didn't know you like kiwis," sirius snorted.

remus rolled his eyes, scoffing, "it's for my girl, look she's coming!" he said shyly, waving his hand for you.

you sat beside him greeting the students around a good morning. "you look- different, did you cut your hair?"

remus laughed, shaking his head.

"oh," you giggled, scrunching your face. remus loves that sight. you look so pretty and adorable every single day, he was so lucky. "you're handsome, y'know," you opted, making his cheeks redder.

"ugh lovebirds," sirius gagged, stuffing his mouth with potatoes.

remus smiled to himself, then he grabbed your fingers, intertwining them together. "here, your breakfast, i cut the waffles so you can eat easier. not that i think you'll have a hard time cutting waffles- you are perfectly capable of doing anything by yourself."

your heart fluttered at his words.

how much of a gentleman he is being! you wished he is your actual boyfriend. the girl that ends up with him must be so lucky.

"thank you so much," you said.

christmas is coming, and there was a party thrown at the gryffindor's common room.

"it's not even christmas yet padfoot," remus stated.

"i know, that's why it's called a pre-christmas celebration party!" sirius cheered as he wrote a letter to one of the firewhiskey store at hogsmeade, ordering boxes of the drink. he also ordered some butterbeer for those who don't drink.

"well you better celebrate cause this is the day where i'm asking lily flower out!" james said happily.

"sure prongs," remus nodded unconvincingly.

"are you enjoying the party?" he came up to you right after your friend was leaving to the bathroom.

"i am! loving the option of butterbeer," you replied.

"you haven't got any drinks?" remus asked.

"nope, i just had a chocolate cake and a butterbeer," you said.

"good good, you don't want to be like sirius or james," he pointed to the both of them. they were dancing on the sofa, jumping like rockstars, holding nonexistent guitars.

you laughed at them before grabbing his hand. "hope you don't mind, getting crowded here."

remus squeezed your knuckles, "i don't mind, you can hold me whenever you'd like."

the the two of your heard a joyous yell from james potter. "lily said yes!" he said to everyone. you can already sense lily's eye roll from there.

"finally!" remus laughed.

but you didn't. what happens now? are you and remus going to stop dating because james will not pick on you anymore or will this be continued.

that night ended with you staring at the ceiling, frowning of whatever's coming.

remus was still his lovely self, he still gives you kisses, hugs you, gets your breakfast ready, and all that sweet things he does.

you on the other hand was sceptical. maybe he just forgot or maybe he didn't know how to tell you. so you did the only thing in your mind. avoiding him little by little as days passed. it's the only way to get this over with as soon as possible before you completely fall for him more and more. like people say 'you've got to leave before you get left'.

remus noticed as days passed. you don't kiss him back anymore. you don't hug his arm. you rarely touch his hand. it was frustrating.

did you really stopped liking him? or was everything just in his head. he couldn't get those thoughts out of his mind. he was feeling less joyful as he usually does.

one evening you saw him alone in front of the fire place, a book open but he was staring at the burning fire. you couldn't help but saw how his beautiful face was forming frown, forehead crinkling and sorrow eyes.

you approached the boy, placing your hand on his shoulder gently.

remus flinched, turning around, "i didn't know you're there." his voice was croaky.

"it's okay, i just got here. are you feeling alright?" you sat beside him, knees touching.

"um i- don't know..?" he replied, his eyes averted back to the fire.

your heart sunk, a part of you knew that this is maybe your fault. you were doing this to him.

"rem, talk to me. maybe i can help."

"you've been distant," he replied. he cringed at how stupid those words sounded.

"i uh-"

"did i do something? i'm sorry, i'm sorry for making you feel that way. if you don't want to be together that's fine and-"

"what are you talking about? remus you didn't do anything wrong!"

"well why are you avoiding me as if our relationship means nothing."

"remus-," you paused, trying to find the words. "we are faking all of this remember?"

"what?" remus asked. you could see the pure shock in his face also a tint of sadness . "i thought we were dating- not fake dating."

"huh? since when?"

"after our hogsmeade date... i'm so sorry for jumping on to conclusions way too fast. i just thought we were together because it felt so real. like just- you and me- we-"

your heart clenched, "what if i told you that it felt real too?" you whispered.

"what do you mean?" he avoided eye contact.

"i love spending time with you. you made that hogsmeade trip so memorable for me. no one has made me feel so- so content. it felt like you- you like me."

"i like you," he replied.

"i like you too," you replied.

he relaxed, a soft smile on his lips. "so you thought we were faking all of this while i'm over here thinking that we are mutually in love?"

you giggled, trying to ignore the part where he said love. "you never asked me to be your girlfriend, how was i supposed to know?"

"okay yes that was my fault, so would you like to be my absolutely-real-not-fake-long-time girlfriend?" remus asked with a cheeky smile.

"i accept your offer as your absolutely-real-not-fake-long-time girlfriend," you replied.

you both laughed, and remus pulled you to his chest as he rest his chin over your shoulder. "remember earlier when i said i like you? scratch that- i love you."

[lucawrites11]

What the Spanish Line-Up should be if Montse's head wasn't up her ass.

The Forward Line:

Salma has been unfairly been facing a lot of criticism for her familiar to score and create chances but she is playing in the wrong position in the 9 after spending two seasons at Barcelona adapting to playing on the wing. This is why I propose playing her on the left-wing.

First of all, Salma has preferred playing down that left hand side and it's clear in her heat maps against both Japan (left) and Nigeria (right).

Furthermore, in the six shots over two games that she has taken, Salma is shooting off her left foot with three on her left, two on her right and one on her head.

Ona Batlle has been playing that left and right back role but she can partner Salma well with their speed link ups down the left wing. With the other full back options, her role is best at left back at present so playing Salma on the left wing allows the exploitation of that.

The opposite wing should be occupied by mariona caldentey. The right wing is not her preferred position but the speed of Ona and Salma should be kept on the same side of the pitch. Mariona's experience should partner nicely with the relative inexperience of Laia Aleixandri.

The centre forward role should be occupied by Jenni. She is Spain's best 9 in recent history and her ability to play that false 9 is unmatched no matter how old she is. Also the ability of Alexia and Jenni to partner on the pitch should not be underestimated. Their overlapping runs and ability to occupy the space that each other needs to occupy with no communication is invaluable to a side that is struggling to score like Spain is. Jenni's positioning in the box is more effective than Mariona or Salma. She can also help improve Spain's ability to score with her ability to hold up the ball inside the box to create chances and her ability to score from corners. It's actually absurd that Montse is not playing her.

The Defense:

At right back, Olga Carmona has been poor defensively and Oihane Hernández hasn't been an effective replacement. it's clear that fourth defensive player at full back is a problem that Montse has recognised unable to chose between Oihane and Olga but there is another option in Laia Aleixandri who has played right back before at club and country. I would go so far to say that she's just as good at right back as centre back.

In the WSL this season she has effectively played that right back role and it's evident in her season's heat map.

To replace Aleixandri at centre back Codina is there on the bench with a very impressive defensive ability when she's been given a chance to show it and is familiar partnering with Irene Paredes from playing against Barcelona. Also the match tomorrow is a good time to test the defensive partnership with little pressure.

The Midfield:

The APA (Alexia, Patri, Aitana) midfield is a no brainer. it's familiar and positive and attacking focused rather than Teresa Abelleira who clearly thought she was playing rugby and was only allowed to pass the ball backwards.

The Substitutes and the Bench:

23 players are in the team but only 18 can be in the squad on matchday. I do not believe that Montse has been effectively selecting her bench. The seven players should be:

Misa Rodríguez (GK)

Alba Redondo

Athenea del Castillo

Teresa Abelleira

Vicky López

Olga Carmona

Jana Fernández

Lucía García has been ineffective at both club and country, Alba Redondo has been a much more effective scorer and plays that more traditional 9 that can replace Jenni Hermoso. Alba Redondo should be the replacement for Jenni in the sixtieth or seventieth minute.

My preferred replacement winger would be Eva Navarro for this match. Eva Navarro should be the first choice to change the game and provide a goal scoring threat considering the hard time Athenea del Castillo has been having in front of goal and partnering with the rest of the squad effectively especially in terms of the overlapping runs. With Brazil being a low pressure game, it would be a good time for her to stretch her legs.

Teresa Abelleira and Vicky López should both sub into the midfield to give Alexia and Aitana a rest in the congested schedule no matter the score.

If there are injuries, Olga Carmona and Jana Fernández are good subs off the bench. I would like to see, however, Ona Batlle being given a break by the more versatile Jana Fernández to keep her minutes managed like Alexia and Aitana in the congested schedule.

[solitary-traveler]

Ascent to Oblivion part 1 - airborne embrace

The heart imposes how one should act. How they should feel. So how can a puppet constructed without a heart exhibit such distinct qualities?

Notes: This one is very self-indulgent. I swear I wish there was an option to catch him during this scene—

Warning: reader is not traveler btw, slight angst?

A heart is regarded as a mirror that reflects someone’s soul. A sovereign ruler that ordains decrees that the body is meant to follow. 

The heart imposes how one should act. How they should feel.

So how can a puppet constructed without a heart exhibit such distinct qualities?

He doesn't have a soul, nor a heart for that matter. Yet Scaramouche doesn’t fail to display the epitome of humanity. The emotions he claims are cursed act as a substitute; an artificial heart that ushers him in the direction of the deepest desires that he sought after. It spreads within his body like a burning infection, leaving a bitter taste of rage and fury that will never be quelled. Come hell or high water, his resolve never wavers. His ambition to prove to everyone that he is destined for more perseveres. He sprints to his goal like a marathon. To conclude his journey and prove to his mother that he has always been worthy of the gnosis.

That was your understanding of the 6th Harbinger, the Balladeer.

You stand beside the Traveler, along with the Archon of Wisdom you had liberated earlier. You encounter the rising "god" of Sumeru—the existence of who you know as Scaramouche—as he presents himself as the Shouki no Kami, the Prodigal, Everlasting Lord of Arcane Wisdom. A long drawn-out battle that persisted 168 loops before you and the Traveler snatch victory from the harbinger.

You were tired and on the verge of collapsing. Bruises and scars are scattered across every nook and cranny of your skin. Yet despite everything—every word, every truth, every lie—you can't bring yourself to hate him. 

You wanted to hate him.

But why couldn't you?

Was it because you felt pity? Because the solicitude of his sorrows softened the fortification encircling your heart? 

Or was it because sympathized with him? Maybe you too knew how it felt when the cruel jaws of life gnaw on the strings that control destiny, only to give birth to nothing but misery and hatred toward the world?

As you looked up, you saw the electro gnosis in Nahida's possession. The puppet yells, an anguished wail of cries as every word laced with desperation begs to have the gnosis back.

"No! Anything but the gnosis!"

"That's mine!"

It was strange. Watching someone like Scaramouche throw away their pride and dignity, just for one measly gnosis. A gnosis that shaped his entire identity. An item he's been promised when he was fabricated, a promise the Raiden Shogun never kept. 

Your heart throbs. Was this the one you were supposed to hate? A misguided child who grew up hating himself and everyone around him because of accidents he interpreted as his fault?

Scaramouche's slender arms extend to seize the gnosis, to grasp the adhesive that was holding up his fragmented individuality. One by one, the tubes embedded in him fracture. Pink liquid sloshed out like waves, smearing pigments on the platform. But he couldn't care less. He wanted the gnosis. He needed it. With a hushed click, your eyes widened.

He fell.

And you jumped.

Despite the burning sensation of the wounds you had accumulated from the puppet, you rise without hesitation as the overwhelming urge to catch him coursed through your veins. You create a whirlwind that propels you in his direction, with the aid of your anemo vision. Time itself decelerates as you can only hope to reach him. You were praying to any go out there that you haven't miscalculated.

One.

Your arms wrap around Scaramouche, cradling him closely to you. You caught him. Thank the archons you caught him. 

Two.

You were to land swiftly on the ground—but having exerted the last of your energy—your touchdown wasn't as smooth or graceful as you had hoped. Your feet slipped, causing you and the harbinger in your arms to skid towards the rubble of rocks. Even then, you squeezed him tightly, not wanting to let go.

Three.

A deafening crash resounds in the domain as you smash into the massive debris. But your clutch doesn't waver. You held the puppet in your arms, a testament of your newfound will to protect him. To keep him safe. You could no longer watch him be cheated out of everything good. He deserves some peace, a tranquility you were willing to give. In spite of your best efforts to remain awake and asses how Scaramouche was faring, your brain started to deprive you of your consciousness.

Four.

A hand clutches your clothes firmly, as you feel the cold porcelain pressed against your skin. Before you collapse into an unconscious state, you overhear a broken sob. A sound only those with a shattered soul can let out.

Taglist for part 2 is open btw!

[hoshigray]

Only You Can Tie My Hands | K. Nanami

Hear me out: Nanami returns home from work to his loving partner, and you happily welcome him. Taking off his blazer, led him to the bedroom, giving him a "massage," doing all the things to help ease the poor blonde of stress. But what does a "massage" entail, and why does it involve his necktie?

A/n: Although it may seem like I only write for Toji because most of the stuff I put out is about him (bc I'm his one and only domestic wife outside of his late one whom I respect), don't get it twisted!! Some of these JJK men can make me swoon just like him (Choso and Nanami, my darlings~~~), so I'm writing yet another lil something in honor of one of them! This draft was an option for a poll but wasn't picked for a drawing. However, that doesn't mean I can't post it at all sooooo you get a win, Nanami stans :D

Cw: slight dom! reader x Nanami - the reader is androgynous or gn! bc I wrote pretty ambiguously in this piece - slight bondage (you tie up Nanami's wrist with a ribbon cloth) - sex with a blindfold (using Nanami's tie) - sensual touching - kisses on the body - handjob - ball massaging - blowjob - pet names (Nanami calls you beloved, darling, love, sweet pea; you call him "babe" and "honey") - throatfucking kind of (??) bc you go at your own pace.

Wc: 2k

It was a difficult day, but that's usual for Nanami Kento.

Today he had meetings after meetings with many of his sorcerer subordinates, had to go on two missions, and, of course, had to deal with the ever-annoyingly casual Gojo Satoru.

Nothing he couldn't handle, but the poor blonde man would be a fool to say he wasn't exhausted. All he wants to do is be in his space, his home. He can practically feel the soft surface of his bed.

It's all he's thinking about when he opens the door to his apartment and crouches to take off his shoes.

"Kento!"

Okay, that was a lie. There was something else he's been dying to see once he left work. Something more precious than his bed.

Then comes you walking from the corner, and your bright smile was the first thing that captured him. It was filled with such a glow that his fatigue almost vanished there and then.

He offers a small smile and straightens himself to greet you. "Hello, my love."

Your smile beams harder. It was a good thing Nanami wore his goggles before removing them. You rush to kiss him, and he hums into your lips. Then your gleeful glow is substituted with instant worry. "Oh honey, what happened to you? You look as if you didn't eat anything!"

"I didn't," Nanami admits as you unbutton and take his tan blazer. He follows you to the bedroom, where you hang his suit in the closet while he flops onto the bed.

"Kentyyy~" You use his nickname before you lecture him. A smile quirks up on his lips because you're the only one who refers to him with said name, and he prefers to keep it that way. "You're so lucky I cooked up something. You know you have to eat!"

Nanami hums, readjusting to lie on the pillow and headboard. His eyes follow your figure sit beside him, a warm hand coming up to stroke his cheek. "I know, darling. I was just caught up in too much, is all."

And you know he's telling the truth. It's the fourth day in a row that Nanami comes from work looking way more exhausted than he'd allow. But it was worse yesterday when he returned from past daylight hours, surprising even him. His face still looks the same, but you can make out slight depictions of dark circles forming under his eyes and muscles tensing, not from lack of sleep but because of his body being worn out.

Despite your worry, all he asks is for you to stay safe and smile. And you do just that with a willing heart. Thank goodness it's a Friday.

"Well. since the weekend is finally upon us," a brow is drawn upwards from your building excitement. "I cooked your favorite: chicken alfredo. But!" You cheekily stop him from saying something because his mouth opens, yet no words dare leave until you finish your sentence. "With a bread bowl! And yes, the pasta isn't ribbon."

A chuckle is well-received as you smile harder. "Oh, really? Is that what you've been working on all day?"

"Uhh, of course!" You proudly huff as you lightly pinch his cheek. "You've been working too hard this week, so you deserve to be spoiled by me!"

"You spoil me already just by living with me, my love." He leans in to kiss you, which you gladly reciprocate. One kiss leads to two, and two leads to three.

You break the kiss when you feel a hand finds its way behind your head, giggling at his sneaky action. "Aht aht aht, can't go having dessert without a meal."

"Oh, I know," his forehead gently lands on yours, "but wouldn't you be so kind as to let a tired man like me have a little taste?"

The way his mocha brown eyes survey yours, practically begging you for any sign of yielding to his request, it almost has you drop your guard down. But something else comes to your mind, and you can feel your grin go from ear to ear.

"Perhaps I have an idea to relieve you from your stress, Mr. Nanami." You lightly push his back onto the headboard, your eyes silently commanding him not to move from that spot. He indulges as you get up and grab for something in the closet. You come back to the bed with a smooth ribbon fabric. "Please put your hands up above your head."

A brow is raised, yet Nanami continues to oblige your wishes. With grace and patience, you wrap the fabric around his wrists and tie them onto the headboard. Nanami now voices his thoughts. "Something tells me you're going to get more out of this than me."

You only giggle as you untie his necktie from his blue dress shirt. "I wouldn't say that when I haven't even started yet, Kenty." You then tell him to close his eyes and wrap the dotted material around them.

Completely vulnerable in his line of sight, Nanami feels the weight of your body dent the bed as you move from the side of him down to where his legs are. He feels your hands slide down from his chest in tease, fingers delicately tracing his abdomen after you unbutton his shirt to reveal his well-built physique. You sensually kiss his body as your hands roam to his tan pants.

His breathing goes uneven when you spread his dressed legs apart, leaving his clothed groin in your line of vision. He hears you hum in loving anticipation. Oh, you're definitely getting a kick out of this. The sound of the zipper on his trousers alerts him, and he'd be a fool if he denied the titillation brewing inside him.

As for you, the image of his hard cock in his briefs has you swooned. The urge to pounce him beats your head like a drum, but that will have to wait for later. Because right now is meant to be a moment for him to relax and possibly give you something to do after cooking all day. The groans from Nanami when you stroke his member through the underwear are so hot to the ears that your ass sways from side to side to ease the heat growing south.

When his length is set free, your breath hitches at the marvelous sight. Even after all this time being together, you can't control the arousing pulsation of your core that manages to creep up whenever you see his dick. It's good that Nanami's blindfolded because how you liked your bottom lip would've baffled him.

Speaking of him, the blonde isn't used to this. When it comes to intimacies, looking at you is the highlight. Watching you ride him while his rough hands propel you down to his cock, how your body struggles to take his fingers drilling inside your sensitive hole, or the beatific expression on your face as you beckon him to come close for a kiss as he drives himself deep within you.

Just looking at you as he does whatever with your body can drive him crazy. Take that away, and Nanami feels like he's in an uncertain territory where you do what you want with him. It's a rarity and totally out of routine...That doesn't mean he doesn't like it, though.

How can he, when he silently gasps for air when he feels a wet muscle slide along the underside of his shaft? Or when your lips place teasing kisses on the beautiful veins that decorate his dick? And, oh Lord, when your tongue laps around the tip, causing the man to bite down on his lip?

You laugh at his attempt to suppress himself. "It's alright, honey, no need to limit yourself. Let it all out." You coo at him as your hand snakes up to his dick as the other massages his inner thigh. Pretty fingers slide up and down the length, and the pads of your fingertips rub against the sensitive tip, causing the poor blonde to groan through gritted teeth.

"Haaaah, haaah—Hnngh!" You could listen to his whimpers all day. "Aghhh—Y/n, my beloved, you're so..." The way he slightly ruts his groin towards you is telling. You smile at him even when he can't see it, but he knows you are. He knows you're watching and listening to him dissolve into a mess.

"I know, babe. I know just how to make you relax, huh." The hand on his inner thigh moves to his sack as the other strokes the base. Nanami jolts at both your hands, sculpting his dick simultaneously as his mind runs in circles at the pleasurable torture.

When he senses your plump lips faintly kiss the tip of his cock, he knows he's too far in. He curses the restraints on his wrists and eyes because he only wants to see you take his length to the base right now. Now those thoughts are challenged as your lips take in the pink tip of his member and slowly inch downwards.

Your jaw relaxes while you take in all of him at your own pace, his cock sinking further into your mouth until your lips almost brush his pelvis. His penis pulsating inside your mouth and throat has you under a euphoric spell. You slowly bob your head up and down, putting your hands on his thighs to hold him down before he starts thrusting and screwing with your slow tempo.

Nanami does all he can to maintain his composure, but God, the feeling of your throat on his shaft is doing wonders. Not only do the inner walls of your oral cavity feel so warm around him, but the blindfold has him using his imagination of how you look right now. He can just picture your pretty hooded eyes looking up at him, gauging his reactions as your ass rocks to and fro, tolerating the neediness between your legs.

It kills him that he can't physically see and touch you; however, your fleshy touch, paired with his creative fantasy, is doing just as much. That is, until a hand returns to massaging his balls, urging him to hunch further. He's now close.

"Hnngh!! Oh fuck, fuck, fuck," If you weren't so full in the mouth, you'd giggle at the blonde's curses. "I'm about to—Mhmm! Oh God..."

You decide to help him in his release, slowly withdrawing his cock from your mouth and going for the head, your tongue lapping and licking in his most sensitive glands. Your hand on his sack kneed presses down harder, and Nanami wastes no time shooting his load to you. You happily take in his cum with your mouth, none going to waste as you're licking in any excess amounts.

Once he's done ejaculating and you're done drinking his essence, a pop leaves the mark as your lips leave his twitching head while you sigh blissfully.

Nanami breathes heavily in euphoria, "I thought you said...dessert shouldn't come before a meal."

"Don't question the methods of a cook, babe." you climb on top of him to undo the ribbon cloth on the headboard, your pants mixed with his. "So, I hope that helped ease some stress of yours."

"No."

No??

And it was at that moment you realized you probably shouldn't have untied his wrists first. Because one moment you're above him, your back sinking deep into the mattress the next. His hands pin you down by the shoulders, and a leg is positioned between yours, a knee rubbing against the aching sensation between your pants.

Nanami takes off his tie to free his eyes, brown orbs now cast with the intoxicating guise of lust and want. Your blood runs cold. Oh, I'm in danger.

"N-Now, Kenty, we shouldn't be doing this now," you try to plead before he does anything rash. "You have to take a shower and freshen up before dinner or else—"

"No, sweet pea. I don't think it's fair you get to have a piece of me, but I'm subjected to wait afterward to do the same." He removes your pants in seconds and sets your legs on his shoulders. Heat spreads around your face when his face draws near your opening, and you already have a hand grab for his hair in anticipation.

"Dinner can wait, darling. Right now, I just want you."

[tmblrcolouredpaper]

Needed Cuddles

You feel uncomfortable on the full bus at night, but your friends are there to take care of you. They need you just as much though.

Lee Minho/ Lee Know; Hwang Hyunjin, reader

Late night conversation and comfort, walking together, care and comfort, suggestive jokes, friendship

wc: 1716

It wasn't the first time you had to be on the train during the late hours of the day. Normally, the darkness didn't scare you, but it was a completely different story when you were surrounded by masses of people that you didn't know, that you haven't even seen before. On top of that, today's train got cancelled and you had to take the substituting bus. Therefore, the route was another factor of unfamiliarity.

After contemplating for good 20 minutes wether you should call Minho or not, you gave in, because your silent tears that made their way down your cheeks were a significant indicator for highly needed comfort.

'Hello?', sounded from your phone, followed by some audible steps and a final flop onto the sofa, you assumed.

'Hi', you whispered, because on one hand you didn't want to disturb the other passengers, and on the other hand you didn't trust your voice to not immediately tremble.

'You okay?', Minho asked without hesitation, his voice worried.

'Yes, it's just...', you trailed off and tried to find words that didn't feel totally silly.

You're an adult. For god's sake, you should be able to get home from work without crying.

to your friend about it.

'Breathe', Minho instructed, well aware of your habit to unvoluntarily hold your breath.

You felt better right away. Breathing helped, but so did hearing his voice.

'I'm on the bus', you managed to tell him and he hummed, waiting for you to continue.

'It's full here and dark. I got a seat, but I can't see much. It's dark', you stammered and fixated some lights in the distance.

'How long do you have to be on the bus?', he asked and you checked the app.

'One hour', you mumbled and hated everything about the situation you found yourself in.

'Keep breathing. Can you count the number of lights you see in the next five minutes? Say the numbers out loud to me, yeah? Can you do that?', he requested and you nodded, but then you remembered he wasn't here and couldn't see you, so you quickly added a hushed 'yes'.

'What's you favorite colour?', he suddenly asked and you responded, 'Red?', in confusion.

There were some street lanterns, so you counted, 'one , two, three, four, five'.

Minho didn't give you a break and asked:'Ass or tits?'

You chuckled, because you were too shy to burst out in laughter. You were in public after all.

'What?', you asked, now ultimately confused.

'Do you. Prefer. My ass. Or my tits', he repeated slower and overly pronounced.

'Hmmm. That's a tough question', you announced and added the numbers six to eleven on the lights list.

'Come on. Feel free to sexualize me. You won't get the chance too often', he chuckled and you wished you were at home already. His laugh sounded even prettier in person.

'That's a very limited amount of options. I can't choose!', you exclaimed and focoused on your breath a bit more again.

'Okayy. Then, do you prefer cuddling with Hyunjin or me?', he switched the question.

'Hey. Don't do that', you whispered and really strongly wished you were home.

'Lights?', he asked and you answered by saying 'thirteen'.

'He doesn't have a chance against me, right?', he added and you could vividly imagine his grin.

'Actually, I'd rank him higher than you', you joked.

'Ouch. Well, okay. No cuddles for you once you're home. And I was looking forward to holding and consoling you the whole night, but, oh well...', he sighed dramatically.

'I'll just go to Hyunjin's room then', you provoked further.

'You didn't call Hyunjin but me tho', he said seriously and you have to give him that point, but only because you didn't want to disturb Hyunjin in his evening's art routine.

'You also can't choose between his ass and tits, because they are basically nonexistent, making me a better cuddling partner. Choose wisely, dear idiot' Minho added and his time was funnily philosophical, as if he would spread holy wisdom.

All he achieved was making you smile at the ridiculousy. You felt lighter than before the call and added two more lights to the list.

Fifteen was the final number after the given time frame of five minutes and after another check-in about your current state and the assurance that you felt better, Minho started talking about his day, telling you many details down to the fur pattern of every cat he saw in the streets.

The bus stopped at the final destination and you got off happily. The people around you spread into various directions and when you finally got a clear view onto your path that leads home, you were paralysed in surprise due to the unexpected visitor that was smiling at you.

'Minho! When did you go to Hyunjin?', you almost screamed into the phone and were only met with Minho's evil laughter.

'There is this thing called texting and it works while being on a phone call, you dumbass', he explained and hung up with no further comment.

Hyunjin stepped in front of you, snatched your bag away and pulled you into a hug. His hair was pushed back with a hairband and there was some dried paint on his neck and when he pulled away, you found some more spots on his hands.

'I didn't want to disturb you', you mumbled, guilt rising, because he was outside at night instead of having a cozy painting session.

'You didn't. It was Minho', he responded and giggled, pulling your bag over his shoulder.

'Sorry', you apologised anyway and nodded into the direction you had to walk to.

Hyunjin just nodded, took your hand and tucked you closer next to him while you two started walking.

You were freezing by the time you finally entered the appartment complex and you were sure it was rather due to your tiredness than the cold evening air. Hyunjin knocked on the apartment's door and Minho opened, looking bored, almost annoyed.

'Good evening', Hyunjin chirped and put on an extra cheerful and energized character to annoy Minho who was clearly tired and impatient at this late hour.

'Go lick some more paint', Minho mumbled, but contrary to his words, patted Hyunjin's shoulder in a friendly manner and smiled at him, nonverbally thanking him.

Hyunjin just shook his head and gave you a quick goodbye hug and handed you your bag.

Stepping into the dorm was the best feeling you could have imagined this evening. You wanted to laugh and cry at the same time, but actually, you were to tired to give into even one of those impulses.

Minho trailed off into the kitchen and you went to take a shower. There was a cup of ramen and a glass of water on the living room table once you returned, originally because you wanted to go to bed. However, Minho called you and told you to eat.

'You need energy after today's stress', he reminded you and watched you until you finished everything he put in front of you. He vanished and returned with freshly cut peaches once and another time with some chocolate, because according to him, chocolote was necessary to finish an overwhelming day. Of course, you didn't dare to disagree.

With freshly brushed teeth you finally made your way to your room and layed down, quickly texting Minho and Hyunjin messages to express how thankful you were for them being there for you this evening and then in no time sleep took over your tired mind and body.

You woke up at the sound of someone knocking on your door and when it cracked open slightly, the light from the living room entered.

'What?', you groaned and got Minho's chuckle as an response.

'Did I wake you?', he then proceeded to ask and you told him that, yes, this was the fucking case.

'Just wanted to say that you did well today', he mumbled and you, still half asleep and barely registering his words, nodded.

'Okay. What do you want?', you grumbled, honestly pissed that he woke you up.

'I promised you cuddles', he said cutely and you hated it, but laughed after all.

'You big baby. Be honest, do you want some cuddles?', you asked, fully aware of his enjoyment of regular cuddle sessions that he always claimed to just be kinda okay with and is mainly doing them, because you or the others needed them.

'Nah, I don't. Just thought you wanted', he huffed and was about to close the door again, but you hurried out of bed and held onto the door. The blanked was halfly wrapped around one leg, luckily didn't cause you to stumble, and you noticed that you were still holding onto one plushie. You laughed at this observation and Minho eyed you up and down and laughed as well.

'You're embaressing', he joked and patted the plushie in your arm.

'So are you. Just for the record, you would be trapped in my arms just like this little furball here, when I'd have to get up while we cuddled', you said, nodding down.

Minho pulled the plushie away from you.

'You'd let someone pull me away that easily too?', he questioned.

'If it was someone I trust, then yes', you explained and saw Minho's eyes widen.

Absently, he handed you back plushie.

'Can we now cuddle? I'm too tired to make you ask for them yourself', you whined and went back to bed.

Minho closed the door and followed you. He freed you from the blanket trap and tucked you in, before he pulled you into his frame, holding you close.

'You did well today too, Minho', you mumbled against him and buched his bangs out of his eyes.

'Thanks. Are you okay now?'.

He pulled the blanket over himself and you pushed the pillow further under his head. He dropped into it with a content sigh.

'I'm okay. I'm so tired, I'll be gone in two seconds', you announced and Minho hummed in recognition.

'I needed those cuddles today as well', he whispered, but you were already back asleep, the plushie squeezed between you two and one arm thrown around Minho's waist, pinning him comfortably close to you for the next few hours.

[yurislotusgarden]

TEACHER/PROFESSOR!DAZAI HC'S PART 2

ʚїɞ There are hc's just about teacher Dazai but also some including reader once again so-

ʚїɞ Dazai x reader

ʚїɞ Keep in mind English is not my first language, so you may find mistakes!

ʚїɞ word count: 785

ʚїɞ Part 1

ʚїɞ My current ongoing Christmas event

ʚїɞ Tw’s: None! Just some regular fluff and stuff

ʚїɞ The first part was more liked than I thought damn

ཐིཋྀ If you want to find him outside of the lesson there are 3 options if he isn’t in the classroom

ཐིཋྀ One would be that he’s in Chuuya’s classroom to annoy him (many students wonder why he goes there when they claim to hate each other)

ཐིཋྀ The second one would be that he’s gone to the teacher's lounge probably annoying Kunikida

ཐིཋྀ Or the third option, the lil shit is wandering around the halls so you need to count on sheer luck to find him

ཐིཋྀ Everyone wonders whether he comes to work with bed hair everyday because he's too lazy to brush it out or his hair is naturally messy

ཐིཋྀ HE WOULD HAVE HIS HAIR UP IN A PONYTAIL VERY OFTEN SO IT DOESN’T GO INTO HIS EYES VBDWIBWJWDAEDIVAD

ཐིཋྀ In winter he makes it look like he has a new sweater/shirt everyday, but he simply styles it differently (Motivation comes from the amusement he gets after confusing the students)

ཐིཋྀ He so would wear jewelry like necklaces, earrings, and rings (he wore all his rings outside of the gloves besides the marriage band until his marriage was revealed to the students, after that, it joined the other rings on top and not under the material)

ཐིཋྀ Chuuya even gets him new jewelry every few months, even if there isn't a special occasion

ཐིཋྀ He wanted to make one of those charts with stars or other shapes for specific things like ‘you get a star if you give your work in on time’ to give out good grades practically for free but the school didn't allow him

ཐིཋྀ Students would love that idea, because who wouldn't want free good grades

ཐིཋྀ Actually, I think the school would let him do the chart thing in his first year, but said ‘no’ later

ཐིཋྀ His classroom would be decorated for different occasions, no doubt on that one

ཐིཋྀ He and Chuuya once came to work in each other's clothes and literally everyone was so lost on why they lost a bet to you

ཐིཋྀ Whenever he's in as a substitute, he makes it so damn fun that no student even thinks of skipping because they would miss absolute tea

ཐིཋྀ He always has pens/pencils for the students to borrow if they need it

ཐིཋྀ During his first few years,  a student would get expelled every year from his class due to their stupid decision to flirt with him because they wanted better grades or needed to pass

ཐིཋྀ Speaking of that, a student flirted with you once (a small passing crush) and you had to stop Dazai from expelling them for that😭✋

ཐིཋྀ One time, he randomly called in, saying he couldn't go in. It was obvious he wasn't sick but he hung up before anyone could ask questions

ཐིཋྀ You were sick, that's the reason

ཐིཋྀYou brought cookies the first time you visited Dazai’s class to actually meet the students, and immediately, they held you in high regard because ’Professor Dazai’s spouse brought a cookie for every single student in his class, and you just can’t dislike someone who gives cookies because they wanted to make sure they seem nice’

ཐིཋྀ You wanted to bring ice cream but you realized early on how much it would need to be and decided on cookies instead

ཐིཋྀ The students would be absolutely jealous of Dazai’s bentos when they saw them, no matter whether it was before they knew about you or after

ཐིཋྀ If it was before, they would always ask where he got them and he would give a random street name, just for the students to realize it was something completely different once they checked out the actual address

ཐིཋྀ If it’s after they found out, I can guarantee that some students straight up asked or even offered money to have a bento made by you💀

“It looks so delicious [random name]!”

“You still shouldn’t have asked his spouse to make you food.”

“You’re acting like the professor knows I asked about it.”

“And you’re acting like it’s not obvious that I’ve been told about that.”

ཐིཋྀ Yes, he scared those 2 students in the middle of the lecture and assigned extra work for the one that asked you for food

ཐིཋྀ Dazai gatekeeps your meals from most people, he would from everyone if it wasn't for the fact that he knows it would make you sad to be unable to give food to your friends😭

ཐིཋྀ You sometimes give Dazai 2 or more bentos than just one if you know that one of the other professors didn't make food for the day (if the other person is Chuuya, you need to tell the ginger that Dazai has another bento with him or he won't get it because of Dazai not bothering to tell him or giving it to him)

Notes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated

@kissesmellow21 @deonsx @sukiischaotic (I hope you 3 won't mind the tagging <3)

[bonzos-number-1-fan]

JMJ: Frankenstein; or, the Modem Prometheus

Originally this was going to be titled "So Your Favourite Couple is Dead." but that would probably be a better outcome.

Spoilers for The Magnus Protocol episode 1, and all of The Magnus Archives by implication, below the cut.

This is going to be building on a couple of ideas I've seen throw around. Too often to cite any particular source, unfortunately, but I've not seen this conclusion reached and I think it might have more backing to it. Additionally, it's built upon the assumption that because "Chester" and "Norris" share VA's with Jon and Martin that they are Jon and Martin. Which naturally leaves that other J for "Augustus" being Jonah.

A very common thread in the conversations around episode 1's incident reports is that they're foreshadowing the major themes/beats of the show. The second one is obvious enough; don't got to the Magnus Institute. A sentiment we can all get behind. The other, a story of partial reanimation, has been taken to be a warning that the people you love don't always come back the same. I think that's likely the implication but a potential clue hasn't seen any attention AFAIK.

Before we get there though I need to briefly explain the history of JMJ. If you were a part of the ARG you'll know all about Colin's Code Collection. For those who don't know out favourite OIAR code monkey kept a selection of projects on the OIAR servers and through some covert means we gained access to this. Lots of it was normal stuff like Colin thinking he could improve Linux. However there were several encoded strings left by _6A1F7106A_$. These strings contained a few things but of importance for us is a few code blocks encoded in a monoalphabetic substitution cipher where the ciphertext was alchemic symbols. 6A1F7106A itself is an encoded string but unlike the rest of the ARG it was encoded in three layers. 6A is hexadecimal for "J", while 1F710 is Unicode for "🜐", and 🜐 was "M" in the aforementioned alchemic cipher. JMJ.

Now back to that incident. Coming back wrong was the entire premise of why that incident was scary. JMJ have come back too., and as that incident was about partial reanimation everyone ran with that idea mapping onto JMJ. But "Reanimation (Partial)" wasn't the only option for it as it could have bee "Reanimation (Amalgamative)".

This whole time they've been saying JMJ. It's not ever just been J, or M. Even before we knew it was JMJ it was 6A1F7106A. Always one string; like one name. We've been talking about how shunting the Fears through the portal could've mixed them together but they're not the only ones that could've happened to. So what if it's not about JMJ coming back wrong, but coming back pieced together into a new whole?

It's not just the naming either but how they act. An amalgamation of Jon, Martin, and Jonah vying for control. Jonah, again presuming Augustus is Jonah, is the rarest of the three because it's 2-on-1. Jon and Martin can try to suppress him. Additionally, the .jmj error also makes more sense if you treat them as a single entity rather than three entirely separate ones. The trailer initialises them all as separate things but any effects of them we see is a single name and given all the above they don't seem to be able to act independently. The reason the trailer mentions errors and undefined drives for the master–slave drives would then be because there is no singular consciousness in control of the whole. There is a lack of authority, no truly dominant aspect to them, no hierarchy. So they're vying for control and causing those errors. The .jmj error, the encrypted text when plaintext would have been more useful, Fr3-d1 breaking down, the fact they seemingly can only manifest single personalities at once, Jonah's rare appearances. There is an obvious conflict at play here.

The opening to this wasn't a joke either. I was planning on writing about how they're likely dead for real. We've known Elias' VA wasn't coming back for a long long time so if it's Jonah in there it's OG Jonah. OG Jonah who doesn't have a body, which means more than likely whatever has trapped them hasn't stored their bodies. They're in there forever. No getting out. No returning to life at all. Just a cyberspace hell.

But at least they've got some close company.

[judesmoonbeauty]

Ellis Twilight's Hot Milk Recipe - Dairy Free

First, let me just say that I am not a dairy-free girl, but I love almond milk, and some commented on a previous post of mine that a dairy-free version would be appreciated. So, here it is! I know there are a plethora of oatmilks and non-dairy substitutes for butter, but I'm not a guru in this field, so please feel free to take this recipe and tweak it to your hearts content. With that being said, please note that this is according to my taste. Also, this was done with the microwave, you can do it on an oven top, but if I can do it a microwave versus dirtying a pot then I will. I will say that I prefer the honey in this recipe over the sugar, and I will include the dairy ingredients for you to play with.

IkeVil Lore: Early on we learn that Ellis is a bread and butter kind of guy, and he also loves hot milk. In his route, it mentions the recipe includes milk, sugar and butter. I believe another blogger who plays JP mentioned it was honey instead of sugar, which is perfect because it's included in this recipe.

Prep Time: 2 minutes Cook Time: Under 3 minutes

Ingredients

8 oz Unsweetened Almond Milk or (Whole Milk or whatever fat percentage your prefer)

2 tsp Margarine or (Salted Butter)

1 Tbsp Sugar or (Honey)

A Sprinkle of Cinnamon (Optional - Not part of the recipe)

A crack or light dash of Sea Salt (Optional - Not part of the recipe)

Directions (For Microwave Use):

Soften the margarine in a microwavable dish according to the power of your microwave. Mix the sugar in with the margarine a give it a good stir with a spoon until well blended. You may add the salt and cinnamon at this point if you wish. (Stirring the honey & fat helps with making the almond milk more frothy like it would be if you drank this with whole milk.)

Heat up 8 oz of almond milk until it is hot, not lukewarm, hot. Pour in the margarine-honey mixture and stir it in well.

Enjoy!

Notes:

You don't have to melt the butter/margarine in separate dish. You could drop it in the almond milk and heat it all up together, but I don't think it tastes as frothy this way.

Initially, I started off with using only 2 teaspoons of honey, but that wasn't enough to mask the nuttiness of the almond, so I quickly doubled that. Same goes with the sugar.

You can add more butter/margarine if you wish, but I'd recommend increasing the almond milk as well so the it doesn't overpower the drink. Additionally, you run the risk of the margarine making the drink taste just plain oily.....that was gross.

I guess you can choose a sweetened almond milk, but it's hard to find one that isn't flavored with vanilla or something like that, and I wanted it to be as close to what would be available during Victorian times, so I chose unsweetened.

The salt was something I decided to add on my own, like literally two small twists from the cracker. I feel like it helps bring everything together much like it does in a chocolate chip cookie.

The cinnamon just gives it that little something extra.

Anyways, this was fun and I already have another IkeVil drink recipe that I want to try courtesy of Liam from Harrison's route.

[fists-on-up]

I started this blog when Twitter looked like it was going down so I could keep up with my gaylor friends. Most of them are still on Twitter, but as a writer I am a wordy motherfucker & I hate character limits. So, rather than let this blog lay dormant I am going to use it for more personal gaylor related things & more abstract/complex perspectives.

I might as well start by explaining how I stumbled upon the gaylor community because I feel like my journey here was much different than most.

I am a little older than Taylor & have mostly listed to rock & EDM my whole life. I don't hate pop, but I don't really seek it out & I don't care much about trends or pop culture. I had heard the most popular Taylor Swift songs in passing. I didn't hate Taylor at all, I just never looked further into her music.

I do vaguely remember feeling like YBWM sounded very much like being in love with your high school best friend who doesn't consider you an option because you're a girl, and as a Shakespeare obsessed lesbian Love Story pinged the ol' gaydar because forbidden love is way more common for queer people. It's not impossible, though, for a girl's family to not approve of a particular boy so I chalked it up to a specific situation she faced coupled with me viewing lyrics through my own (very gay) experiences. Especially given the fact that Romeo & Juliet tends to be referenced often based upon a very surface-level understanding of the story.

These thoughts did stick with me subconsciously, as it turns out. One day I was listening to a Spotify generated playlist I was really digging and Don't Blame Me came on while I was in the shower. I thought "Wow, this is a very sexy, Sapphic song who the hell is this??" I checked when I got out of the shower & was so confused. I LOVED it and listened to it frequently, but it still hadn't clicked completely.

Then I heard only the bridge to Cruel Summer in a TikTok & said "Oh my God, she's gay!" I immediately recognized how painful & difficult it is to play the part of "friends" in public and the sense of doom that comes with realizing you're in love with a girl while closeted. If you've never had that experience, I envy you. How we treat people we're in love with isn't really planned out, it's automatic. Trying to catch that & substitute "friendly" behavior when you don't even know HOW to be her friend is very hard. It's hard to not feel insecure when the woman you love treats you like a friend, too. It's hard to hide the love and the pain if you wear your heart on your sleeve. In short, it's torture. A unique torture you can only really describe or recognize if you've experienced it. I have, and immediately knew Taylor had too.

As soon as this clicked I immediately devoured her entire discography over & over again. For days it was all I did, starting before I got out of bed and ending when I fell asleep with a notepad on my bed listening to evermore (again). I was 100% certain she is queer before I ever Googled "Taylor Swift gay?". I didn't even know there was lore or a community at first.

I didn't just recognize her queerness because I'm queer, however. I recognized it because I'm a writer. Not by profession. By passion, I suppose. And what really made it clear was what Taylor doesn't say.

I realized I was gay when I was 14 years old and when I did I wasn't scared, I was excited. I had come to the conclusion that the entire world was just... faking it. Girls would kiss boys & go on & on about it, almost every song, movie, & book was about love, and I just couldn't relate. I had kissed more than a few boys, but I seriously did not understand. I would pretend to fit in, but it was not at all appealing to me.

Then a friend stayed the night & kissed me. A friend that I wasn't consciously attracted to at all, and yet - fireworks. Suddenly I realized that people weren't exaggerating or lying about attraction & love. I realized that the concept of attraction wasn't merely recognizing that a boy was conventionally attractive, it was attraction like two magnets pulled together. Like gravity. I wasn't broken, the world wasn't a lie, and I was fucking ecstatic about it.

But then I told some close friends and most of them immediately stopped talking to me. Some became hostile. This was around 1999-2000 in Small Town, Texas where there were no out queer people. Looking back I understand that it was just a matter of kids being ignorant and uneducated and, well, kids but at the time it was confusing. I tried to backpedal and told the friends who stayed that I was bisexual. I even tried to be bisexual (spoiler: I am not). The excitement I initially felt quickly turned to fear & I chose to hide it from anyone else.

To cope with the constant overflow of my newly-activated heart and the isolation of having no one who understands, I poured myself into poetry. I started reading Shakespeare at 11 and had read most classical works by the same age. By 14 I had multiple poems published in collections, had read every work of Shakespeare & Poe, and had memorized the Chorus to Romeo & Juliet. Using poetry to cope was kind of my brand. So cope I did.

I wrote thousands of poems. I filled binders & spirals & journals. I was always writing. Most people knew I was published young & knew I was writing like crazy, so it wasn't uncommon for other kids to read what I was working on. Sometimes they'd commission a poem from me.

The fear of anyone finding out (including my parents) meant that I had to be very, very careful with how I worded things. No she/her pronouns. Nothing that would give me away. The occasional red herring. I would be specific enough that the muse would know it was about her, but no one else would.

I almost always wrote to the muse, using "you" more than anything. Poetry is like a love letter, so it comes naturally, but it also prevented the need for gendered pronouns. I wrote that way so much I still default to it now (and I have a hard time NOT pouring my heart out to anyone I care about). I didn't realize it at the time, but my writing was inherently queer coded despite my efforts to conceal it because, well, I'm queer. Sound familiar?

There are simply some things that are upside down when you're queer & you don't even recognize it because you've never NOT been queer. Things you say straight girls wouldn't. Things you don't say that straight girls would. Straight people don't see it because they've never NOT been straight. Hell, queer men won't recognize Sapphic language because they've never been attracted to a woman OR been a woman.

There are subtle, inherent tells separate from intentional tells or flags. I didn't realize that, and neither did the kids (or adults) who read my work semi-regularly.

One day my close friend borrowed my poetry journal to catch up on what I had written. This was an especially vulnerable journal, but it was just as obfuscated as everything else. I thought nothing of it and went about my day.

Hours later, during lunch, I was outside probably bumming a cigarette off of an equally punkass kid or smoking a bit of weed from a pipe crafted out of a soda can when I heard a girl shouting my name. I left the hidden corner and walked to the main area to see a girl I didn't know walking around, calling my name loudly over and over. I called back to her, confused but glad it wasn't a teacher busting me smoking.

When we were finally face to face she confirmed that I am in fact me & I realized that she was holding my journal. She pulled me to a more secluded area, looked me in my eyes, and said "these are about girls, right?"

Fuck.

Shit.

Fuck shit.

I was a sophomore. 15 years old. She was a senior. A beautiful black girl named Lovely who I only knew of because it was a small school. And here she was just... straight up asking me. No one had ever asked me before. I had never had to answer this question before. I was caught off guard & wholly unprepared for this.

The closet is an awful place when you hate lying.

So, I didn't lie. For some reason I looked right into this girl's eyes and reluctantly, fearfully, said "Yes." Then I held my breath.

But she didn't laugh at me, didn't call me a dyke, didn't preach at me. She just... fucking cried.

This lovely girl named Lovely completely broke down in front of me, a complete stranger, and I did not realize what was happening.

Turns out Lovely wasn't just lovely, she was queer. And scared. And so, so lonely. She thought she was the only one, until she heard what my poetry didn't say. She recognized the inherent queerness in my writing because she identified with it and immediately came to find me.

I consider that conversation to be one of the most pivotal, defining interactions of my life. The entire time I thought I was alone & Lovely was there. Lovely thought she was alone & I was there, and I suddenly realized coming out wasn't really about me. It wasn't about the friends and family who would reject me. It was also about being visible. Being brave. Being proud. It was about the other queer kids who thought they were the only one. The other kids who couldn't come out. With this realization, from this conversation, I found purpose.

The very next day, Lovely came to school in baggy jeans and a basketball jersey - a huge departure from the very feminine presentation she always had. We never talked about it again, just exchanged fond smiles and nods in the hallway, but she came out to some extent. I came out within a week of our conversation, and I made a conscious decision that I was going to be loud about it.

My mom was great when I came out & I knew she'd have my back. Before the word "privilege" was commonplace, I at least understood that my supportive mom gave me an advantage others didn't have. I felt like I had not only the ability but the responsibility to be visible and unapologetic.

I was a rebellious little shit. I would make out with girls in the hallway. I lined the inside of my locker with Playboy pictures. I wrote "gay" on my forehead in hot pink lipstick when I got sick of being asked if I was "fully gay".

As a result, the varsity quarterback would call me in tears to talk through his struggles with his sexuality. I knew the most popular boys all of the girls wanted were actually very in love with each other. Girls who would laugh along with their friends who called me a dyke would hook their fingers into mine when they passed me in the hallway & pull me into dark rooms at parties when no one was looking.

I became the keeper of secrets. Society makes queer people lie & uses the guilt of that "deception" to keep people closeted. We lie to ourselves, then to everyone else, then to all but a few trusted people, then even when we're out we lie on behalf of others. I still hold secrets, even for those who don't "deserve" my loyalty. It's part of it, like an unspoken code. Closeting is lying, whether we like that or not. But lying is morally neutral. Intent & impact matter.

That time of my life was hard. Teachers would treat me differently. One flat out told me I would go to hell in front of the class. Another refused to intervene when my girlfriend was physically attacked by another girl who was pissed about her dating me. The school tried, for a time, to force me to use the boys locker room so other girls wouldn't feel uncomfortable. The school tried to ban me from taking a girl to prom (even though I was taking a friend, my girlfriend's family wouldn't allow her to go with me). A group of boys chanted "1, 2, 3, 4, death to the lesbian whore" when I got to school every morning. I got in a lot of fist fights. Mostly with that group of boys. Someone broke into my locker and wrote "dyke" all over & inside of my text books in huge magic marker. I remember telling one of my teachers I couldn't read part of an assignment because of it & trying not to cry. I was preached at constantly by kids & a few teachers who saw me as an opportunity to "save a soul". I have a lot of stories.

But you know what? I got the teacher that told me I would go to hell fired. I fought back when they tried to make me use the boys locker room. When they tried to ban me from prom, I printed hundreds of pages of court rulings from cases in which schools tried to do that to other gay kids, stormed into the principal's office, dropped it on her desk and threatened her. I went to prom with my friend. And after I had graduated, my high school girlfriend (who was a grade below me) finally got to take me to hers. A gay boy I'd never met won prom king and he thanked me for it. I didn't even know him, but he knew me. I won every single fist fight. I didn't cry about the slurs written in my books in front of people & I protested when they washed it off of the front of my locker. I wanted it to be the dyke locker. I took everything they gave me with a smile & asked for more, because it showed other kids it was possible. I made myself a lightning rod for hate on purpose, because then the "less problematic" queer kids were seen in a better light. It protected them. It also made sure they knew I was there. And they came to me & I did my best to help. I chased girls & have so many stories about drunken hookups and falling in love. Wild nights & happy days.

Don't get me wrong, I fucked up plenty too. I certainly wasn't a hero, and I put myself in very real danger multiple times. There were a lot of failures & mistakes. There was a lot of pain. But it was absolutely, positively fucking worth it. Despite it all I look back on that time fondly & I'd do it all again in a heartbeat. And I'd do it the same.

That time of my life shaped who I am in every way. I'm still that punkass kid (even though I'm pushing 40 now). Still a fighter who doesn't care how much pain I endure if I'm doing the right thing. And I never would have become that person if a girl named Lovely hadn't picked up on the queer themes in my writing that I wasn't even intentionally adding. So for me, it's kind of serendipitous that the very thing that led me to becoming everything I am today is the thing that I saw & heard in Taylor. That led me to so much beautiful art, beautiful love stories, and beautiful people in the gaylor community that is so, so dear to me now.

It takes one to know one, but sometimes knowing one puts you on the path to knowing yourself.

[zaenaris]

Thinking about how Tenjiku was extremely painful but important for Koko and Inupi’s development and sub plot.

It was the moment where the worst fears of both of them emerged in very dangerous moment.

Inupi feared that Koko saw him only as Akane’s substitute and Koko feared that Inupi was using him for his own interest - the gang and money, since he’s good at making it - like everyone else, having internalized and accepted it was the only way to make amend for Akane’s death and that it was the only thing he was good at and that people needed him for.

Take into consideration both of them was thinking of saving the other:

when Mucho and Sanzu ambushed them, Koko had no choice in joining Tenjiku to save Inupi -and Takemichi-, (and it's not that just because Kakucho says to Takemichi that Koko "chose to be in Tenjiku himself" , that's how it went: it's obvious Koko was coerced and tried to do the best he could to help Inupi and himself given the situation: he was alone, he couldn't fight the whole Tenjiku alone), while Inupi wanted to be in Toman, under Takemichi’s division, because he saw that Toman is similiar to the original Shin's BLACK DRAGON and because he knew they wouldn’t have been used anymore, Koko in particular since he’s the “money maker”.

But Koko was so used to that life and to not consider his own wishes that he never reconsidered joining Toman, it wasn't the safest option. Koko had no attachment to any gang in particular, he cared about Inupi and his money making activities, therefore as long as Inupi wanted him in a gang, he sticked with him (we saw in the last birthday pic that Wakui draws for Koko, that middle school koko made business with the haitanis before being in the 10th gen BD, he clearly had his own illegal side activities unrelated to gangs-of course being in a gang helped with his business and of course when he was one of the executives of BD, that gave him also power and protection, but Koko always did what he did alone, before being in any gang) ;

but that time Toman was weak, meanwhile Tenjiku, even if it was the opposite of the gang Inupi wanted to belong to, was the safest option and a situation more similar the the 10th generation Black Dragon, where violence and profits were the norm; so Koko negotiated a place for Inupi if he’d joined Tenjiku, thinking it was the safest option.

Meanwhile Inupi was willing to fight to finally be free from that world. I am always so sad that Inupi's trauma is always so overlook and never directly addressed in the manga (undirectly it was, I mean joining a gang it's not a thing that you generally do when everything is fine in your life). Because Inupi

was saved by Koko when he was looking for Akane - and Inupi knows it, that's were the fear of being just a substitute for Akane comes from

sees Koko being desperate about trying to save her and blaming himself when she died anyway

is aware that his parents have financial problems after loosing the house and ofc they're a mess for Akane

some of these facts are in headcanon territory, but how could have Inupi have felt after her death? of course we see him crying and sad, but he's aware he's alive "by chance". How did this conditioned him? did he felt he wasn't supposed to be there? that his parents and koko didn't love him enough and would have preferred her instead of him - canonically we kow Inupi doesn't go home often -ch.157- and so we can assume he has not the best relation ship with his parents, which is understandable after such a tragedy; we know Inupi is grateful that Koko always followed him -ch.142-, which is the same Koko felt about Inupi -ch.252., but was Inupi grateful to be alive at all or he himself would have preferred to die? and his relationship with his late sister? he cries, he grieves, but then what? is there a part of him that sees koko so desperate for akane that, in an irrational moment, would like to be on the receiving end of all koko's attentions? does he get a closure? probably he does, but it's off screen.

At this point of the story, -Tenjiku arc- Inupi understood Koko's behavior, when he tried to talk about the whole situation (in the previous arc,when he asked Koko if he was still thinking about "the promise") and Koko denied, he never insisted because he knew Koko wasn't ready yet. Maybe Inupi, probably for narrative reasons, or maybe because that's how he is as a person, or maybe for some other reason that Wakui didn't explain, somehow manage to arrive to a point of self awareness, but in that moment, it was a complete chaos, and the insecurities and the communication problems that Inupi and Koko always had emerged and couldn't be contained and escalated the way we witnessed.

Even if they had the other’s well being in mind, but all their deepest fears came out in the worst moment and that lead to their break-up.

**spoilers for the end of the arc and their sub plot resolution in the final arc under the cut**

But even after their fight they still wished the best to each other, showing their genuine care even after what happened, because in the end, Koko wanted to be with Inupi, it's his conscience in Akane's form that "frees" him and allows himself to follow his heart and to stay with Inupi forgiving himself for something that wasn't his fault❤️‍🩹

[catchingdaydreams]

Wrong Summoning

Peter B Parker (demon) x reader

NSFW Warning

Imagine trying to summon an incubus but you don't have the correct material and summon a gluttony demon instead.

Don't worry he's very gluttonous for the taste of you!

( if it gets popular I'll do part two of just pure smut)

It was a cool summers night. The night was still young, many people were littered along one of the main streets, chasing fun and dancing to the music to various pubs and clubs alike. Rambunctious laughter could be heard echoing outside your apartment.

Your friends loved the nightlife, you though....not so much. No matter how much they try to plead and bribed you tonight it all fell short. You glance back at your window, seeing them hobble to a club across the street, you sighed. Partying wasn't your scene, tired it once and never again. Left a bad taste in your mouth. But you digress. A good book was better than being in a dark lit room, bumping against sweaty strangers.

Besides you had other plans today. You see the only good thing about a club compared to a book was that a book couldn't get you dicked down. Sure you have an entire shelf filled with nothing but erotica and your old reliable toys to keep your horny fill. However, it wasn't enough anymore. No matter how much you read, how much you fantasized, how hard you played with yourself, it only led with two outcomes.

1. You couldn't cum.

2. You didn't feel satisfied no matter how much you fucked yourself silly.

You weren't left with many choices either . You were too shy and meek to really be interested in a relationship. Even when it came to flings you felt awkward about it. Mostly cause you live in the heart of the city's party district and the last time you tried a one night stand with some flirtatious hunk it ended badly. You kept seeing him around to the point you started to freak out that he was stalking you. You really didn't want to be riddled with paranoia once more.

Your last option was stupid, but decided that this somehow was better than the rest.

You aligned a summoning circle with finishing touches. Brushing your timber wooden floors with blood and rosemary mix, you wrote the incarnation that was in the book beside you.

Oh yes you were reduce to this. Summoning an incubus. While you don't really believe in the supernatural, you thought why not. It's not like anything bad will happen. A lot of smut that you read, well not a good source of factual material, was maybe influencing your horny mind too much right now. And if nothing happens, well at least you had your own version of a wild night to tell your friends about , low key going insane and becoming a blood version of Picasso (yeah probably shouldn't tell them that...).

The book beside you, you found it at a little second hand bookstore. You were looking for a new mystery novel when you saw the old thing slip of the top shelf and landed right on your head before falling on the floor. Its pages directly landed on how to summon a lust demon. It was like fate. And you willingly accepted it.

The old book was hard to encrypt. Most of the summoning list was layered in vagueness and rhyming its ingredient and steps. But you think you got the gist of it. You may have substituted some items with things you could easily get your hands on at your local supermarket. You hope the demon wasn't picky that you used your espresso martinie scented candles instead of votive candles, among other things you used.

Your last key piece was lighting up the candles under moonlight. You light each one and read out the chant that was in your book. A slight breeze swept through your apartment despite having all your windows closed. It cause you to shiver on instinct. The flames of the candles flickerd but remained intact.

"Did it work?" You thought to yourself, skeptical at your handy work. "Maybe I said it wrong", You question yourself further. You had to use Google translate to understand how to pronounce the Latin words, maybe you should have used a more reliable translator?

"No didn't work, the incubus is suppose to come out of the summoning circle." You correct yourself, looking over the illustration of the old book once more before trying to summon it once more. And again. And again.

It wasn't working.

You slapped your face, muffling a desperate scream with your hand, you chucked the damn book at the summoning circle. Walking to your kitchen you grabbed a bottle of wine. Not even bothering with a glass you took a swig at it. You sigh glancing back at the contents of your fridge. You had a whole bag filled with pigs blood. 'Great what are you going to do with that!?'

"Your fucking stupid y/n!!! Believing that this was real. Get your damn head of the clouds, now I've gotta spend my Saturday night cleaning blood, chalk and other shit off my floor!" You slammed you fridge shut in anger. The light if the fridge disappeared, leaving you in complete darkness. That's odd, the candles gave off-

You looked over to your lounge room. You had to double take the situation. Your candles were completely out. Not even a wick of puffed out smoke filtered through the air. What was even weirder was that the moonlight no longer shined down onto your floors, despite no clouds blocking the moon. Your room was blanketed in darkness.

You gulped.

Oh it definitely worked.

You look a step into the room, inspecting your room closer.

"Hello?" Your voice was meek, practically a whisper. Yet you were only met by the unnatural coldness of the room. If it wasn't so dark you could probably see your breath. What you also noticed was that the outside music and laughter was pretty much drowned out in complete silence. Not a peep or a creek. Only your heart beat that thumbed through your ear drums.

Just then a ominous red glow came from the summing circle. You relied on instinct pretty much at this point, running behind the couch to hide. You were terrified but still curious, you peaked from the armrest.

The glow from the circle swirled forming ominous red smoke. The ground cracked open with a mighty shake, cries from the damned within bled into your room. A black claw came out first, reaching to the sky before landing itself on your floor, digging it's nails on the wood as it clawed towards itself. It was hard to see the full picture of this beast as the smoke covered most of its body but what was clear was his black obsidian-like ram horns that glistened despite no natural light. His eyes glowed deep crimson red as he stared into nothingness. His mouth opened, giving you a side view of his small but sharp incisors. He seemed lost in thought, like confused as to why he was here. That was that until he stopped and found you .He's eyes felt it bore into your soul, as of he was judging your sins.

You involuntarily gasped as you fully hid behind the couch now. Your skin was riddled with goosebumps, hair sticking on ends as you shake in place.

'Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope ,nope , fuck this shit' you stressed out, clearly having a internal struggle with yourself with the whole situation Infront of you. You regret being too horny that you summoned a fucking demon. And demons are real??? Oh God it's gonna kill you.

You anticipated for the worst.

But nothing happened.

You remained in the same place and so did the demon.

What you didn't expect was a throaty chuckle.

"Heh, sorry about the floor." The demon said with a hint of regret in his tone.

"And it's hard wood too. Damn really gone fooled this up already. Ah we could probably smooth out the scratch marks out. Maybe through a rug over it. If it can't be seen it's not there, yeah ? Yeah! That could work. Rugs bright out a room more-" He kept rambleing on to much of your confusion.

The demon looked about at the couch that you hid behind, taking notice that you haven't said anything or pretty much ignored his suggestions. He could sense he already stuffed up his introduction with you. So he tried again. Properly this time.

He coughed to clear his throat and began to speak once more. " Where are my manners." He clicked his fingers, re-lighting the candles around him, burning even brighter with his magic that it lit up the room, all still be a bit dimly.

"My name is Peter. How can I be of service to you Master" he says placing his hand over his chest as he kneel before you."

Peter could hear you shuffle behind , but still you didn't allow him to see your presence. He was even more confused, tilting his head to the side. He was so confident that you were the one that summoned him, he could feel the summoning pact from you. He looked around the small room . It was certainly a lot different from his last summons. More homely, warm even. He notices that everywhere he looked the walls there littered with books shelves stacked with both new and old books. 'So my master is a reader, huh?' He thought, thinking the likely reasons for his summons tonight.

"You have quite the collection of books don't ya?" He tries once more to start a conversation. " Gosh it's giving me cozy library in the middle of a country side vibes if I do say so myself. Bet you take pride in your collection, I can tell" he gleems a cheeky smile as he glaces some of the titles he hasn't seen before.

You really has no ideas what to say. One moment your terrified of him, then he's saying sorry and complimenting your books. That last part surprised you the most. Most people who you met would bring up the subject but then say nothing else. Your friends thought it was a boring hobby. Made jokes about being an old woman and all that.

You thanked the demon in a whisper.

"No problem!!" The demon chimed.

"Soooo am I able to see you, I mean I can pretty much do my job just right here perfectly fine but I wouldn't miiiiiiinnnnd , seeing my Master". He asked in a playful tone.

You debated over this, he looks scary but seems nice? Kinda awkward but nice. Removing yourself from your crappy hiding spot wouldnt put you in danger anyway. Regaining your thoughts You did make sure to salt the circle to prevent the demon moving outside of it. So even if he could try to harm you, he can't.

You slowly emerge and stand in front of the demon that you summoned. Now with the light of the candles and no fog you could get a better look at him properly. Along with the features you described before , he was tall, like bean pole tall. Certainly towered over your small frame.

He has the classic small black bat like wings on his back and an imps tail. His face featured that of a man in his mid 30s, a bit of scruff and distinct crooked nose. He was shirtless, but wore thin cotton robes. He looked very odd to be a incubus. Certainly you must have gotten the short end of the stick. He wasn't really your type.But you weren't complaining. He looked goofy. Major DILF vibes from him. Certainly was showing it through his dad bod. He was toned but not too much. Has a bit of chub with his gut that looked kinda cute hanging out-

Oh maybe he was your type. Wow okay then. You learn something new every day.

You felt too hot underneath his gaze, you hope that he couldn't see how bush was already forming. Your shyness was already creeping up on you once more as you looked away. The wine from before wasn't helping you.

But the demon kept staring at you. Finally, he broke the silence first.

"Huh?" Peter said out of disbelief, tilting his head the other side.

You looked back at him with confusion on your face. "What ?"

"Oh nothing, I just didn't know my master would look well like you." He says, gesturing his hands to you . This caused you to raise your brow. 'Did he notice your blushing or something. Was there something on your face ?' You thought, touching your cheek.

He took notice of your hand movement, quickly trying to resolve the situation once more

"Ah no I didn't mean it a bad way kid. It's just most of the time it's old men who summon me. Not that I'm saying I prefer that, it was a surprise, a nice one. No ,no you look lovely, oh gosh Peter stop messing this up again." He rambles on with apologies one after another.

It was a sight to see him jumble up with his words. He whole thing was so comical it gave yourself a chuckle.

He pause momentarily, looking back at you once more. His guilty face relaxed at your laughter. He signed out of relief.

A crooked smile was on his face as he relaxed a bit and started to speck without a speck of worry this time. "I'm really sorry can we start again?"

You nodded.

"My name is Peter!" He introduced himself, giving a small curtsy, chuckling at his actions. You matched his laughter. He beemed at your response, his wings flapping with glee as his tail wagged and hit your floor with each thump.

To you he looked like a golden retriever at this moment.

The tension in the room was no longer there. The coldness started to slowly dissipate, as a warmth grew between you two.

"It's nice to meet you" you say.

"Likewise~" he hummed, fiddling with his fingers he continued. "Soooo what gluttonous desires do you request of me?" He gets down to the point now.

Your face was stricken with confusion and he noticed. "gluttonous desires?". You repeat back his words.

"Yep that's what I was summoned for. I am a Glutton demon after all" he chimed, puffing his chest with pride.

You didn't really didn't know how to react. You were literally dumbfounded. Clearly you fucked up big time. You didn't respond to him for quite some time. He notices the stress riddled on your face.

"Master?" Peter called out to you. He grew concerned at your sudden change of expression.

He calls for you once more but you ignored him. You collapsed on the couch, placing your hands on your head you quietly sweard underneath your breath. You drag your hands on your face, hiding most of it from him.

He awaited for some sort of answer. And you gave it.

"I think I summoned the wrong demon" you state, not even bothering to look at him.

"You think you summoned the wrong demon". He repeats back dumbfounded.

Silence once again were between you two. Peter took upon himself to speak up.

"Ah okay not a problem, things like this happen" he says with a convincing voice. He flaps his hand in an 'no worries' movement.

"Really?" You ask, looking at him in shock and relief.

"Well no" He commented.

Fuck

" Well best no the beat around the bush, you got me curious now. What were you trying to summon then" he asks curiously, a bit too happy about all this.

You really didn't know if you even should say it. It was bloody embarrassing now. You were red as a beetroot and he certainly looks noticed that now. His eyes gleams at you with such delight. He took pleasure from your internal anguish.

"Well...you see...it's a funny story". You start to explain.

"Mmm, oh I love funny stories. Do tell ~" he says, plopping himself down on the floor, his hands cupped his face as his tail once more flickered back and forth.

"But maybe keep it to, 'long story short', it looks like my Master is turning red as hells fire itself!" He snorts at his own joke, wrinkling his face with a wicked smile as he slaps his knee.

You don't know how you could possibly go more red.

"I was ..."

You looked back at him but quickly looked down to the floor. You couldn't see his face right, hes being a right smug bastard.

"You were?" He trys to push for you to continue.

You sighed, shutting your eyes as you spoke next.

"I was trying to summon.....an incubus"

....

....

He snorts

And breaks in full laughter.

Peter looked absolutely enthralled by this whole ordeal. He would have never expected a little cutie like you would be summoning a demon of that caliber. He found you too shy and gentle for you wanting to experience raw an untamed lust. But he really shouldn't judge a character by the book. No, this whole meeting with you he found you blushing from ear to toe, first thinking it was out of embarrassment. Now he knows why. And now you piped his interests even more. A bit of him felt flattered that you even thought he was an incubus. His chest swelled with an unknown feeling. Not bad, and not good. It was a pleasant warmth. But he pushed that feeling away fast. He needs to focus on this little minx who summoned him. And oh boy, does he really have a lot to handle at the moment.

Peter wipes a tear from his eye as he tries to get a hold of himself. "Sorry sorry, heheh.. It's just..hahehe" he keeps laughing between.

"Okay okay. I'm fine now sorry. Tell me, you didn't substitute anything, beside the candles that smell heavily right now." He says, taking notice of the candles coffee scents.

"I used pigs blood. Didn't have sage nor Peony so used rosemary and hydrangeas instead", listed.You didn't even bother to look at him. You were too shamed of yourself.

"You're supposed to use your own blood. Creates a greater emotional connection between the incubus and the summoner. Pigs blood is the go to, to call a glutton demon. As for the other item, I have no clue how it affected the summoning but yeah. You botched it missy." He rants.

"I can see that" you sign. "So I'm really sorry but I don't really need your services, so you can just-" you point at the cracks of your floor boards " go back".

"Doesn't work like that kid" he mumbled.

"What!!!" You finally looked at him. "what do you mean, can't you go back?".

"Nope! I am here until a gluttonous desire has been filled. If you read that book correctly you should have known this already, tisk, tisk" He sings, clearly taking pleasure in your pain right now.

Peter slowly gets up from the floor, he stands in front of you as you were sitting, towering over you. He draws back a devilish smile, his fangs protrude out as his forked tongue slowly licks them. You sit in horror. The man before you, who joked and teased you looked down right sinful. You felt small, powerless despite him being caged right now. You gulped as your eyes met his teeth. You wondered how his teeth would feel on your skin, sinking into your neck. You were far too stressed out and humiliated right now, but a familiar warmth spreads down to your groin. You squeeze you legs together as you felt the start of your arousal. God you were pathetic. You hoped he didn't notice, but ooooh this demon did.

Peter chuckled lowly, he was enjoying the sight of ya. Your struggles was so fascinating to him. He never had someone interested in him. Sexually he means. He was always summoned by the power of greed, obsession. Powerful men wanted more power that a mere mortal can hold. Being the demon brought from gluttony, overindulgence was his way of life. And being the selfless demon that he is he doesn't mind sharing his way to others. Certainly doesn't mind when all his Masters, one by one are ruined from it. All their belongings, their pride and worth stripped away by the very thing that they wanted more of. He took great pleasure from it. And in turn kept his own gluttonous desires satisfied.

But now he has an opportunity to try something new. You brought it upon yourself to him on a silver platter. He first thought when he took a look at the situation that he was in was that something on the topic of books was your desire. Your link with him was not completed since you messed up his summoning, so he couldn't get a feel of his masters connection with him. No sense of obsession or greedy need from you. But Peter didn't need any of that.

You were an open book.

You wanted him.

And how can he neny that.

Certainly not when he too felt hungry.He didn't want just a nibble, or a taste. No, Peter wanted to devour you whole. He is gluttonous after all.

"Oooh Master~?" He practically purs towards you. He leans down at much he could with the barrier blocking him. You could feel his breath on your face.

"Were you really that dick hungry that you couldn't think straight with the summons. That eager to be fucked like the good girl that you are, that you couldn't even read the simplest of instructions. Now look at what it left you with. Nothing. Poor baby, noones here to please you, worship this gorgeous body until you cry out to God. Oh but he won't respond to sinners the likes of you love. Your too fucking gone now, tainted by lust."

You whined.

You really should be ashamed of yourself, but the way Peter spoke to your felt so right to you. Your panties were damp, and he hasn't done anything to you yet. You grew more needy for him, from just his teasing alone. You wanted to reach out and touch his pale and blackened skin. But you couldn't.Be damned, you were scared. Not getting cold feet or anything but he wasn't even an incubus. Your mind went a mile a minute, ending up with self doubt and negativity. He was just teasing you? Of course he was, you made a fool of yourself, he's just doing that for kicks.

"You know, I'm a pretty generous fella. I could help you. I believe this gluttonous desire would be more than enough to finish this ritual. What do you say Master~" he drags the last word as of he's breathless. He was getting ahead of himself with his eagerness.

"But your a glutton demon" you state.

"Mmm?" Peter responded, clearly not understanding what was going on with your mind.

"I thought gluttony was when your over eating." You say.

*Gasp*

"Certainly not. That's a harmful stereotype". He says in a shocked tone, crossing his arms, he looks away from you, he pouts.

"Ah shit sorry I-I didn't meant tha-"

But then quickly laughs it off, drowning out your apology. "Nah I'm just pulling your leg". He hums as he continues. " Gluttony is overindulgence." he corrects.

"Oh" you responded.

"And right now I want to indulge eating out your pretty little pussy~" Peter moans.

"Oh?...."

"Oh?" Again is puzzled by your reluctance.

'You're not messing with me, are you serious about this?" You questioned, still not sure if this demon is making fun of you.

"Yes~" Peter purred.

...

"If you don't believe I can beg fo-" " Ah that won't be necessary" You object but he does so anyway.

Peter instantly drops to his knees with a loud bang. His breath escapes him in a needy whine as he stared right at your with painful want. "Please, please Master let me taste you, I want to taste your pussy. Let drink from your sweet nectar. I can be your good demon for you. So good. If you let me. Use me. Order me master. To feast upon you. Let me devour you until you cry out for no more, to finally be satisfied. Please Master. Let me out."

Holy fuck. This man has no shame. Your left speechless as he just he smirks with such admiration. His body is shaking as if he wants to pounce on you, but the salt circle is imstill intact, preventing him to. All doubt has left your body when you noticed a tent that formed under his robes.

"You sure you aren't an incubus?" You laugh. He laughs back.

"Not sure, you know, might be one on my mother's side. Wanna find out together?"

[babydipper]

They end up curled up on the floor, Sirius’s arm over Reggie's waist as the only point of contact. Small lights are flying in front of them like little fates in the form of stars. Reggie knows everything about the sky but listens to Sirius talk anyway. It's almost like being eight again in the basement at home, when Father’s wrath was something so bad even Mother would rather have them hidden from it. Reggie treasures the memory of Mother's magic floating around. It's one of the favourites.

They don't talk, it's more like white noise, the way Sirius tells the stories of constellations. The shards are still inside Reggie's hands and if the palms are placed in the right direction, they reflect the light. It occupies Reggie for a while, the game of glistens, but then the pain turns into something uncomfortable and so Reggie asks to substitute one with the other:

“Have you ever felt wrong in your body?”

Sirius stops, abruptly, his story about the Leo constellation. He hesitates for a moment and Reggie can feel it, wondering if the answer will ever come. “Like out of place?”

“Mhm.”

“I- well, yes, I think. Or not. It was more the case of not looking the way I wanted to look. So not with the body exactly, no. More with being unable to do what I wanted to do with it.”

“Hm.”

“I bet the lion felt wrong with its body, though,” Sirius whispers and his finger traces patterns on Reggie's skin. “The steel skin must have felt uncomfortable,” Reggie says nothing to that but watches the heart of the lion made out of the light anyway. Regulus stares back. “Why do you want Mother and Father dead?”

“Is there any other way to stop them?” Reggie snarls. “If you know one, feel free to share.”

“Why do you want to stop them?”

“Because there's no way to follow them,” Reggie says in the most vulnerable moment ever. “I'm not the daughter they wanted anymore, Sirius. I wish I could go back and be her, but I can’t.”

“I don't think there's anyone that could please them. You were perfect and it wasn't enough.”

“That's because I wasn't you.” And oh. Sirius's finger stops. Reggie can feel the shallow breaths. “I don't know who I am, but I am not you.”

“And you're not her,” Sirius whispers.

It helps that they are not looking at each other. That it's dark and that Reggie doesn't have to face anything but the heart of the lion. The tiredness overflows the body and the mind and nothing matters anymore. The only people that exist in the whole universe are the two of them, no one else. If they are the last people on the Earth, Reggie might as well confess all the sins. “No, I am not her.”

“I feel like I don’t know you anymore,” Sirius confesses, too. “We knew each other best and now I don’t know you anymore.”

“It’s okay,” Reggie soothes in the tone that is reserved for Sirius and Sirius only. Always has been. When he got beaten up. When he was starved. When he was lonely. “I don’t know myself anymore either.”

There’s a beat of silence and then:

“If I had asked, would you have come?”

Another beat.

“No. But you never asked.” And another. “If I asked to go, would you have let me?”

“No, but you haven’t asked either.”

It hurts. It hurts so much it fills their veins. Reggie thinks that everything has been filled with liquid pain. It hurts, but all they seem to know now is how to hurt, so they stay in the stasis like they always do. Reggie wants to turn to face Sirius and claw his heart out, step on it, eat it, destroy it. They need to blend into one, become one and maybe then they will be perfect and enough for their parents. Maybe then they will deserve to be alive.

But the thing is Walburga and Orion never liked it when they played together or spent time together, especially growing up. The united front was dangerous, Reggie realises now. The first thing Reggie came to Sirius with in years was parricide, so maybe their parents are right. The two of them in unison are dangerous and rabid and a force to be reckoned with. Having them separated was the only option to control them. And even then, Sirius got out.

Maybe Walburga and Orion are scared of them, too.

Maybe they should be.

[whatgaviiformes]

Fic: Grannies (part 1)

A/N: When I am in a writing lull I default to two things: crafting and post-Hydrofoil/post-SOS. I hope this is still enjoyable - dedicated to the craftyfam for inspiration. In this part: Scott

On a new day, Scott realized he wasn't alone in the lounge. Sometime in the early morning his younger brother must have stumbled in, still encumbered as he was with the cast helping his leg to heal, but Scott had been too engrossed with the work begging for his attention to notice. 

He apologizes for it now. 

Gordon has used pillows to prop himself up against the arm of the sofa so that he's sitting, and there's a space right past the injured limb for Scott to gently position his weight. This couch is made for Scott’s height, so Gordon seems entirely too small against the decor pillows. 

He’s healed nicely after the events of finding Braman - the strain on his arm and shoulder had just needed rest. Their caution saved his neck and spine, though he hadn't been able to escape the head injury, which still gives him headaches from time to time. And the leg - well that needed a bit more than just TLC. 

Scott’s hand finds the ankle attached to the uninjured leg, his voice crackling a “good morning” from the lack of use and dryness he hadn’t realized was there. Gordon, with honey-brown eyes that shine with a knowing amusement, pauses the movement of his hands and lets the strand of orange yarn drop at the reminder of Scott’s presence. They both share in the explosion of color just outside the lounge windows.

Clouds like peach fluffs remind Scott of just how long it’s been since they were able to enjoy the dawnslight together. Prior to the accident, their routines aligned with daybreak, the timing of their exercises overlapping. Gordon’s, of course, included laps in the pool. The pool which was decidedly off limits with Gordon’s current accessory. Scott would often go for a run, chasing the sun. Scott’s not so much a fan of this new normal created by the Hood’s attack - the world where Gordon is unable to partake in what runs through his blood, and where the rest of them are spread far, far too thin. 

“Granny for your thoughts?” 

Scott shakes his head. “They’re not worth the - wait, what?” 

In response Gordon tosses him a square of fabric, blaming aerodynamics when it lands on his own foot instead of on Scott’s face where he was aiming. “Well, I can’t reach my wallet and you don’t need my pennies anyway.” 

“So this is your substitute?” Scott picks it up between two fingers to inspect it. He’s not trying to make it seem like there’s a practical joke here… but it’s Gordon. So there’s a practical joke here somewhere. 

If anything, it’s the color combination. Gordon’s never been afraid of putting clashing colors together, though Scott’s never been sure if that’s truly fearlessness or whether it’s just Gordon being oblivious about it. There was a period when they were younger where Dad thought Gordon might even be colorblind - had him tested and everything. But when all was said and done, Gordon could see what he was doing when he dressed himself with one green sock and one orange - he just didn’t care. 

The square’s got the same energy, the only pattern being that no color is repeated. Otherwise, it’s random and clashing, and oh so Gordon. 

He loves it immediately. 

Even the Barbie pink near the autumn orange.

“Can I keep this?” 

“Sure. What’s one granny?” Gordon cuts the orange yarn with a flourish and loops it back through his work. “I have hundreds more where that came from.” 

“Oh, wow, that’s … a lot.” Scott wonders if they all channel Gordon’s chaos the way his square does. 

“Yeah, well. Not being able to swim is a lot.”

“Oh, Gordon…”

“Don’t. I’m irritated, and it’s not your fault. Pick a color for me.” 

“Hmm. Teal.” 

There’s a basket on the floor. Gordon reaches for it, placing it instead on his lap while he digs through his options. In the end the color he holds up for Scott is more turquoise than teal, but it’s close enough to the bird feathers outside the window, which inspired his choice in the first place, that he nods his approval. 

For a while, Scott watches him work the green-ish blue over the row of orange. Without knowing exactly what Gordon’s doing with the hook and the yarn, Scott catches the general pattern: spaces over the clusters of color and new stitches where the previous row had spaces. Each row around the row before it with corners shaped into a square. 

He understands the principle.

“What do I do with it?” he asks. It's small, despite the volume of its color. “Will it work as a coaster?” Scott hopes so; he could use some life for when working at Dad's desk. 

“It's perfect for a coaster.” 

“What are you doing with them? You can't possibly need hundreds of coasters, can you?” There's actually very little Scott assumes about Gordon’s logic. This is one he feels fairly certain about. 

“Ha, no.” Gordon's sly smile would make warriors cower. “Virgil's making me a blanket.”

“Virgil is?” 

“Well, yeah. He doesn't know I know. But it's Virgil so of course he is.” Gordon leans in conspiratorially, lowering his voice. “I'm leaving them around the villa for him to find. There's one in his favorite coffee mug right now.”

Gordon cackles. An actual full belly laugh. “I haven't had any sent back to me in retaliation,” he explains further. “Ergo…”

“Ergo,” Scott echoes, the pieces coming together. He absolutely understands now that Gordon is doing just the part he enjoys, a welcome distraction from his current misery. The injured aquanaut gets to enjoy the instant gratification of the small project while Virgil…

…does the heavy lifting. 

That’s so entirely them it makes his teeth hurt grinning. 

Scott glances at his square with a rush of warmth being welcomed into the language his brothers seem to share over yarn. He never learned when Mom taught Virgil her magic, but he knows it’s important to the two of them and that Virgil taught Gordon at the hospital all those years ago now. 

There is still one more thing he’s wondering. 

“Gordon? About these ends?” The square looks unfinished with the strands dangling with each color change.

“Oh, do they bother you?” He beams. “I don't mind them so much.”

Scott's gaze immediately jumps to Gordon's gaze away from the trailing yarn. That little shit. Virgil will hate that. Hell, Scott can't stand them unfinished like that himself. And Gordon knows exactly what he's doing. 

“You're maniacal.”

Gordon shakes his head. “No, I'm bored. And Virgil likes fixing things, remember?”

[laurasimonsdaughter]

Dear MagISoWo,

Hello! I really appreciate all of the good work you do for our community! My three-year-old daughter just started this year at our town's public preschool program and is the only faun in her school. She does qualify for the free school breakfast and lunch program and it's been a godsend for me as a single dad on a delivery driver's wage, you know? Anyway, you might or might not know that fauns need significantly more of certain minerals such as sodium as compared to humans. Most of us, if we're eating human-style food, add a supplemental mineral mix -- salt mixed with granular forms of the other minerals we need. Given my daughter's young age, I arranged with her teachers to have her minerals added to her food when they give it her, and as of the time she enrolled none of them indicated that this might be a problem. However, the other day she came home from school with a stomachache and mentioned that her substitute teacher had told her that she wasn't allowed to have her minerals. I went to the principal hoping to get this cleared up, and apparently this was the first he'd heard of our arrangement, and he stated that the substitute had acted correctly in his view, and that her regular classroom teachers would also no longer be allowed to serve her the food with the mineral mix now that he'd been made aware. Apparently their nutritional guidelines forbid serving food with added sodium because of the health risks for human children, and they would be at risk of losing their federal food program funding. They told me that if I want to have more control over what my daughter eats at school I'm always welcome to send packed lunches from home, but grocery money is tight as it is and it would be a financial challenge to pull her out of the free meals program. Do I have any recourse here? Are there protections for magical children in situations like this?

Thank you

Hello,

We're very sorry to hear that you ran into trouble at your child's school. The School Meals program is meant to make life easier, not more stressful and it is definitely not meant to exclude non-human students. Providing this kind of service on a national schale is relatively new, however, and a lot of schools still have some trouble with the practical implementation. We hope your principal has simply misunderstood the regulations of the program, because there is definitely room to adapt meals according to a child's personal dietary needs.

Sadly there is not one clear statement in the program's terms we can point to for an immediate solution, because different solutions are suggested for different situations. Some children require very different food than their fellow students. (Such as uncooked meat, blood, coal, raw honey, etc.) And schools cannot be expected to provide meals suitable for every single diet.

Some children, like your daughter, only need small changes to a meal. Like eliminating a certain ingredient or adding a supplement. The School Meals program encourages schools to accomodate these students by having the parent or guardian of the child to provide an explicit instruction on how their child's meal is to be changed, and to sign this document to give the school permission to do so. We will enclose the link to the government page on the School Meals program where this suggestion is explained. If you provide such a document, plus the supplements your child needs, we expect the school will comply.

However, schools do have the option to refuse adding supplements or medications to children's meals, if they deem it too difficult a procedure to carry responsiblity for. It does not sound like this applies in your case, but if they choose to go this route you can always apply for Grocery Cards instead. These are also provided by the School Meals program, and function as coupons that can be used in most super markets, bakeries and farmers markets. They are mean especially for everyone who wants to ensure their children eat well, but cannot easily make use of the meals provided at their school. We will enclose a flyer on how to apply for them, should you want to look into that option. Considering your current situation, you should already qualify.

Best of luck and please don't hesitate to come to one of our local after school activities if you could use a hand with anything else!

~ the MagiSoWo Team