#but that's pure fan speculation while THIS question is one that SHOULD have been answered in canon already!!!

[helioooss]

hard times

synopsis: you have been dating mina in secret for nearly five years now. things start to fall apart after her fans finally raise speculations about your true relationship with her

w/c: 7.4k ((oops, got carried away and dragged it out))

warnings: mentions of alcohol…lots of angst. actually just pure angst

a/n: if i had a dollar for every time i yelled “girl, stand up for yourself” while writing this, i’d have like $6. againnnn, not proofread, was sleep deprived writing this, also only had 12 hours of free time at work <//3

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The early rays of sunlight cracked through the blackout curtains of your apartment window, sending out golden hues of light to wake you up. You turned over to wrap your arms around your girlfriend, but to your surprise, were met with cold sheets and an empty bed instead.

In confusion, you slowly opened your eyes - melting away any remnants of sleep. As far as you were aware, she had nothing written down on her schedule today.

You were about to reach out for your phone when you noticed the answer to your question: a handwritten note sitting on the bedside table from no other than Mina herself.

A smile tugged on the corners of your lips, she knew you too well.

good morning my love, i got called into a morning meeting with head office today. i should be back home for lunch!

love, minari <3

Sitting up, you let the familiar silence settle around you. You were suddenly reminded of how lucky you were to be a part of Mina's life - to be able to call her your own, she chose you even when the rest of the world wanted her.

Four years later, your love for her only grew deeper with every sunset and beating of your heart. The timeless moments that built your relationship; from the late-night game dates, flying to every tour show, holding her hand as she achieved her dreams and even the silly little arguments that made your relationship stronger — you were grateful for them all.

The light that she brought into your life was otherworldly- she was everything (and perhaps more) you needed.

Though sometimes, there were moments where you wished you could just tell the world about your girlfriend because the world outside of yours, you were only one of her closest friends. At least, her family and friends knew, and to some extent, her company. You could write a million books about her and it still wouldn't be enough.

There was a delicate balance in the fragile world you built together. Mina worked as a popstar and you were an independent producer.

It helped that you grew up with one of her bandmates, Jihyo, who (unfortunately) was always a good first excuse whenever questions were raised as to why you were so dedicated to being present in almost every show. Secondly, you were one of their producers.

Besides that, you had pretty much perfected the art of being Mina's best friend. Anniversaries were orchestrated carefully, always planned months ahead of time and any public appearances involved being friendly with her as possible. Your longing smiles and shared looks were a soft reminder of your love for each other, and that was enough for now.

In the corner of your dimly lit studio, you worked in front of the mixer endlessly - isolated from the rest of the world as you poured yourself into your craft. You were constantly attempting to push JYP into releasing more music outside of TWICE's comfort zone, something the girls had respected you for.

The buzzing of your phone pulled you out of your work trance as you frantically grabbed it out of your pocket. It was Jihyo and it had to be something important if she was calling you at ten in the morning.

"What brings forth the Queen's presence?" you chuckled, however, she held her silence on the other end. "Hello, earth to Jihyo?"

"Have you seen the link Momo and Dahyun sent you?"

You frowned at the seriousness in her tone, the weight of her emotions passing to you. "Good morning to you too, and no, I've been working since I got up."

She heaved out a sigh. "It's not looking too good, Y/N, not good at all."

"What are you on about?"

Within a second, you were scrolling through the group chat you shared with the other members. Multiple links were sent out and you wish you hadn't clicked on it because the sudden doom you were feeling was horrifying - your world had just been turned upside down.

Mina and Y/N - more than friends?

The first one you had clicked was a video compiled of Mina's longing stares, the changes in her mood whenever your name was mentioned and of course, the moments you two shared together in public as friends being carefully dissected. She wore a different persona around you - the one you were only meant to see, and it didn't click to you how painfully obvious it was.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," you muttered as you clicked another link, heart racing as you watched the headlines unfold.

This time, it was a tweet; a photo of her in one of her many disguises next to a photo of you and her holding hands at the beach...the only indication pointing to her was the fact that she wore the exact same outfit.

There were more "evidences" but you had seen enough.

You have never felt this violated in your life, years of cherished memories were now tarnished by the mere fact that it was being shared around for the public to scrutinise. It would be a lie to say that you two had not prepared for this, but there was always the illusion of your lives being separate - safe in the world you had built.

"It's going to be okay," Jihyo tried her best to comfort you in her soft voice. "Is she not home?"

"No, she told me she got called into a meeting and I'm assuming it's all because of this mess," you plopped your head against your pillow, a million thoughts already running through your head. "Do you think she'll get kicked out of the group?"

"Are you kidding me?" Jihyo scoffed at you. "We aren't Twice without Mina. The only options for JYP are to either confirm, deny or not say anything at all."

"I'm going to lose her, I know it," you gasped out, running your fingers through your hair. "What am I going to do?"

"You know what Mina always says about you, Y/N?" it was Chaeyoung's voice on the line this time. "That she wouldn't be able to do all of this glitz and glamour if she didn't have you in it. You're her anchor, remember that.

"Thank you," you strung out, voice heavy. "I appreciate it."

"Your relationship will always have our support, we love you as much as we love that penguin."

Mina suddenly barged into your studio a mess; puffy eyed and hair messy. Her face showed a mix of anger, uncertainty and more importantly, fear of what the future held for the both of you. In the middle of all the chaos surrounding your relationship, you opened your arms wide for her and you were met with a crying Mina falling into your chest.

"I'm so sorry, baby," her voice was barely above a whisper. "Tell your family that I'm sorry. Everyone's going to pry into your life and —"

You squeezed her body tight, making her stop as you kissed her temple lovingly. You were just as lost as her. "Have you forgotten that everyone was prepared for this? Don't worry about my family, they'll be fine, I'm more worried about your career."

She looked up at you, biting her bottom lip as hard as she could. "They want me to confirm the old dating rumours I had with Jeno."

"What?" your question held so much frustration and turmoil. Out of all the possibilities you two had considered, you didn't see a fake relationship with another idol coming. "How the fuck is that going to help you?"

"They're convinced a relationship with him will be more beneficial for me than damaging, and it'll stir away all those rumours about us if the public is convinced enough," she replied, her tone mirroring your bitterness. "They also want you to go on friendly dates with other idols and make it look like you do this with everyone else."

Your eyebrows furrowed, your grip on her arms loosening. "And you said okay to all of this?"

"I had no choice," she bellowed out, another set of tears prickling out of her eyes. "It was either I lose you forever or for a short amount of time and I picked the latter!"

You sent her an apologetic look, letting out a sigh. It was a mission to contain the surge of anger flowing through you in front of Mina, it was the last thing she needed. This storm would pass, however, it was sailing together that worried you the most.

"I love you, Y/N," Mina firmly reassured you. "Do you know that?”

"I love you too, I'm sorry."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

In the days that followed, against both of your wills, Mina temporarily moved out of your apartment and "officially" started dating Jeno. Alongside that was the release of a series of photos of you with other idols - seemingly justifying your intimate dates with her.

It felt like a blow to your place in the industry. You weren't just a mere producer to the public now, you were linked to almost every member of Twice and Blackpink, years of hard work overshadowed by dating rumours just like that.

The thing that convinced the public the most were old photos of you and Rosé's friendship resurfacing, all the way back from her debut days. A recent one caught Mina's eye out of all of them; the blonde idol was kissing your cheek at your favourite Italian restaurant out of all places - the one you took her out to for your first date.

It was the sole reason for Mina's silence tonight.

You and the members of Twice were all seated around the dorm's dinner table; candlelights flickering and casting shadows in the room as Japanese jazz played in the background.

She was sitting right across from you, absentmindedly twirling her ramen but still refusing to eat it. The soft hum of their conversations were drowned out trying to figure out how to push your girlfriend's sour mood away. And, she looked so beautiful in the light - jet black hair cascading past her shoulders and perfectly framing her divine features.

"My love, aren't you going to eat?" you whispered gently, a tinge of concern beneath your voice. "You haven't touched your food since I got here. Did you not miss me?"

You hadn't seen her in over a week due to your clashing schedules, most of her free time were spent doing publicity stunts with Jeno and most of yours consisted of missing Mina and hanging out with idols you have worked with at least once.

She sent you a tight-lipped smile, pushing a strand of her hair to the back of her ear. "I did miss you, a lot, I'm just bothered."

You gazed at her, raising an eyebrow. "What about, my darling?"

A rush of warmth made its way to her cheeks as she shook her head. "It's nothing important, I'll tell you after dinner, yeah?" she reached for your hand over the table, resting it on top of yours.

Albeit unconvinced, you nodded with her. She didn't speak to you for the rest of the night, choosing to engage in conversations with the group. It would've been reasonable if it weren't for the fact that you hadn't spoken to or seen her all week - the longest you have spent away from each other so far since you started dating.

It didn't seem to have an effect on her and it stung.

Nayeon nudged you with her elbow, noticing the shift in your behaviour. "And what's going on with you, Y/N? I miss seeing you lurk everywhere, and now all these other girls get to be in your presence."

All eyes were on you now, but yours fell on Mina whose jaw was noticeably clenched. You nervously chuckled, taking a big sip out of your chardonnay. "I know, it sucks, but also a perfect opportunity for me to play around with my tunes, you know? It's exhausting, but hopefully it'll all tone down soon...specially with Mina dating Jeno."

"So, having fun with Rosé?" Mina cleared her throat, tone coming out harsher than intended with hurt evident in her eyes. And it caught you and the rest of the girls off-guard. "I didn't know you guys were that close until those photos came out."

"Yeah," you awkwardly trailed off. "I used to work for Teddy at the Black Label. We've always been close but the years have grown us apart, can we talk about this later?"

"Why later?" her voice cracked, burning you with her stare.

Your face was flushed with embarrassment as you took notice of the girls sinking on their seats, trying to make themselves invisible and far away from her wrath because angry Mina was bad, but jealous and angry Mina was the worst version of her to exist, ever.

"Because I haven't seen you in so long and I'd like to have a good night with our friends," you said quietly. "Is that too much to ask, Mina?"

She got up, not before exchanging strained looks with you, unable to hide her emotions any longer. "She's kissing your cheek in one of the photos for god's sake," she shot back at you, footsteps bearing the heavy weight of the mess she created. "Girls, I'll be in my room if you need me, I'm really sorry for ruining the night."

The stunned silence that followed after her departure hung heavy between all of you. You were completely blindsided by her reaction because it was unusual of Mina. She trusted you and your judgement regarding everyone in the industry, and you had always been transparent about your previous relationships. Rosé wasn't even on the list of people you've dated, she was like a sister to you.

"Go after her, Y/N," Jeongyeon was the first to break the silence, a gentle contrast against the previous heated exchange. "She's under a lot of pressure from the company right now - please go easy on her."

You silently excused yourself from the table, trailing behind Mina a minute too long. You opened the door to her room and your heart instantly ached at the sight of her sitting on the edge of the bed with a defeated look on her face.

She glanced up at you, tears streaming down her face. "I don't know where that came from, that was unacceptable and -"

You took a deep breath, kneeling in front of her as you cupped her face in between your palms. "Baby, what's going on?"

"I'm scared and I'm so tired of following rules and I hate holding the hands of someone I barely know and don't love," she started, shoulders trembling with silent cries. "And I hate seeing you with girls who are so much better than me.”

"My love, there is no else better for me in this world. I will always choose you no matter what," you said, wiping streaks of tears off of her face with your thumb. "I love you more than anyone else in the world, you matter to me the most."

She searched your eyes for any ounce of lies, and all she found was sincerity. "You promise?"

"I promise," you took her hand into yours, placing a chaste kiss on the back of it. "I'm all yours."

Her head was resting against yours and you sat frozen in that position for a long time, cherishing this moment for the rough waves ahead of you two.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

After the first wave, it wasn't long before the cracks in your relationship began to show. You weren't allowed to see Mina for a certain amount of time each week and every interaction with her had to be meticulously orchestrated by her managers - date nights are now rare and she barely replied to any of your texts, it felt like your place in her life was slowly being taken over by Jeno.

Arguments were more common than ever, most of it coming from Mina's side with all the built up frustration at the lack of control in her own life getting lashed in your direction.

In one of the rare nights management had allowed you to see her in the space of your own home; a month and a half after the unraveling of the biggest chaos in your lives, she had specifically told you she only had limited time for two rounds of Fortnite and and maybe an hour or two of Minecraft before she had to leave.

Nonetheless, for you, that was more than enough.

You went out of your way to set up a pillow fort in the centre of your living room, Mina's favourite snacks all on display and even putting up fairy lights all over the space. It was the only way you could try to bring back the intimacy that you both lost ever since being outed by the public.

And honestly, you wanted to remind her that you were so much better than Jeno - that you knew her more than he did.

"So, how long ago did she leave?" you were on the phone to Jihyo like normal. These days, with your movements still limited (the rumours between you and Mina have thankfully died down) you confided in her and she let you.

"She should be there any minute now," the other girl hummed, clapping her hands in excitement. "This is going to make her feel so much better, Y/N, I just know it."

"I really hope so, Ji," her old nickname rolled off your tongue like clockwork. "I miss her so much, I wish things could go back to normal."

"Just hold on a little longer, yeah?"

As soon as you heard the locks turn, you stumbled on your feet trying to make yourself somewhat presentable in front of your girlfriend. "I gotta go, I'll let you know how it goes."

Mina appeared behind the door, a tired smile on her face. In an instant, your arms wrapped around her, being smothered with all the kisses she missed from you.

She planted multiple kisses on your lips, equally missing you. "I missed this."

"I'm so glad you're here, Minari," you pulled her into the living room with your back turned towards her. "Just like old times, hey?"

Your eyebrows furrowed when you were met with silence, confused as to why she wasn't saying anything. So, you turned towards her and you wished you hadn't because you felt so small under her cold gaze.

"What's this?" she began, her tired giggles replaced by an angry scowl.

Your hopeful smile was gone. "What do you mean?"

"I'm so fucking tired, I told you not to do anything special, didn't I?" she rubbed her temples in irritation. "You never listen to anything I say."

Your heart sank at the entirety of her words. Tonight was supposed to be special for you both but Mina's lack of effort and gratitude were beginning to show and it hasn't even been five minutes. "I thought it would've been nice to bring a sense of normalcy back into our relationship."

"Normal?" she scoffed at you, clearly offended by the words that came out of your mouth. "There's nothing normal about our whole situation. It's hard for me to keep up with you when you're always at my back for the smallest things. There is only one of me, Y/N, can't I catch a break from you?"

"Mina...what are you saying? What am I doing wrong?" you stood there, dumbfounded at the lack of context in her words. She was simply rejecting you and it felt like a punch to the stomach.

"You're obviously rubbing it in my face that I'm not putting in enough time into our relationship," her voice was laced with nothing but anger. These days, it was a common tone from her. "Do you know how exhausting it is to act like everything is fine when it's not? To act like I'm in love with someone I'm not? I didn't ask for any of this, I just wanted a night of peace - not a fucking extravagant date."

Your expression softened, heart aching at the sight of her scrambling to let all of her bottled emotions out. She was struggling to balance everything and you hoped that she would let you carry some of the weight on her shoulders. "Okay, we'll get all of this silliness out the way," you were trying so hard not to cry in front of her - you hated making things worse but feeling a sense of rejection from your own girlfriend wasn't exactly the best one.

"Forget about it, don't follow me, please," she added, walking out of the living room and into your shared bedroom.

Your heart broke as she stirred away from you with every step, all you could do was sink on the couch - the fort you built crashing after you. Burying your face into your hands, you let the tears fall: you were losing her, and that realisation had cut way too deep.

Minutes later, deep within your thoughts, you failed to notice the presence in front of you until she wrapped her arms around you, muttering gentle apologies and reassurances.

"I'm here, baby," Mina's tone was laced with a heavy sense of regret, drawing circles on your back just like how she used to. "I'm sorry I took it out on you, again."

"I don't understand what I'm doing wrong," you turned to face her with bloodshot eyes. "I'm trying my best for you and none of it seems good enough."

"None of this is on you," she reassured, placing a kiss on your neck - lips lingering longer than usual. "I love you so much, I don't want to lose you."

"It feels like I'm losing you, Mina."

"I'm here until forever, remember?" she promised, a hopeful glint in her eyes.

"I hope so."

"I do know so," she smiled at you with sincerity, that was all it took for you to forgive her. "Let's smash a few rounds in, shall we?"

Mina somewhat kept her promise of putting more effort in, she fought with her managers more, never failing to defend you from their wrath. With the rumours toning down, you were allowed to be out in public with her and Twice again. Of course she was still dating Jeno in their eyes, but with their schedules constantly not aligning due to his group's upcoming album, the rift that was building between you and her grew smaller because it meant she could see you more.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Things were nearly back to normal again, until you had to meet him.

"Remind me why I have to meet this guy again?" you raised an eyebrow as Momo and Sana both circled around you.

"Because the public is starting to notice that despite being Mina's best friend, you have never been seen around Jeno," Momo described the situation perfectly.

"Um, what?" you chuckled. "I could literally say the same thing about you and him!”

"Okay, but we're idols, and our worlds are bound to crash with each other," Sana defended their situation.

You rolled your eyes. "Whatever you two say."

That same night, you were seated around the candlelit dinner table once again. Arriving a little later than usual, you had exchanged formalities with Jeno against your will, and as much as you wanted to hate him, he genuinely seemed like a nice guy and if the circumstances were any different, you would've liked him.

Cutlery clinging and small conversations that were filled with laughter took up the sound of the room. Instead of taking the seat across from Mina like you always did, you chose the one next to Tzuyu. She didn't even notice.

With him around, she barely acknowledged your presence. If anything, she seemed to enjoy being wrapped under his arms as they all laughed to a stupid joke he made.

"Are you alright?" Tzuyu whispered into your ear when she noticed your white knuckles on the wine glass, carefully treading around your anger.

"Me?" you forced a smile.

"I'm asking you, lovely."

"Why would I not be?" you swallowed the bitterness along with your drink. Her eyes held a bunch of questions, frowning when her bandmate who moved a little too close to you for liking. "I'm feeling great, Tzuyu."

Tzuyu didn't press you any further for the rest of the night and as the evening drew to an end, you had nursed at least a bottle of wine to distract yourself. It only heightened the growing knot of jealousy and despair in your chest as Mina laughed to another joke Jeno had said; leaning in closer to him.

"Please enlighten me on what the fuck the show they're putting on is all about," you asked Chaeyoung with a low voice, and heard by Tzuyu and Jihyo as they turned to you. "Are there cameras around?"

"No," Jihyo shook her head, confusion plastered on her face. "You're going to have to ask Mina that."

Chaeyoung sent Jihyo a warning glare, not wanting her to add any more fuel to the fire. "Y/N, are you sure you're meant to be pouring another glass?"

"We've already taken photos, why the fuck is she acting like this in front of me?" your voice feigned with hurt, ignoring the concerned looks from your friends.

The sight in front of you frayed with your emotions and clawed at your insecurities. They looked so perfect together and she seemed happy. At your expense, you watched as he leaned in closer and captured her lips unexpectedly.

You were met with nothing but only horrified looks from everyone in the room, including Mina. The pain in your heart grew, and the temporary bandaid placed on it ripped apart - the wound you thought was healing was gaping open once again. Without thinking, you slid off your seat; chair scraping harshly against the wooden floors.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go attend more important matters," you held your composure firmly, looking Jeno right in the eye before bowing your head down. "It was nice meeting you, you're perfect for Mina. I hope the rest of you have a good night."

Everyone seemed to hold their breath as they finally pieced what the breaking point in your relationship would be. You turned on your heel, not bothering to look behind you. And with one certainty, you held your head up and slammed the door shut.

Outside, you stumbled down the pavement; the cool winter breeze hitting sharply against your flushed skin. You clenched your fists as you tried to steady yourself through the alcohol and the free-falling of your tears - the picture of Mina and Jeno kissing replaying in your head, sealing it into place.

Behind you were audibly hurried footsteps, and Mina's voice echoed throughout the street as she called for you to halt. You quickened your pace but anyone sober was guaranteed to be faster than you. "Please let me explain, Y/N," she pled desperately, grabbing your arm.

"Explain what?" your voice was cold, another set of tears making its way down your face. "How do you explain kissing someone else in front of me? You barely spared me a glance tonight and now you want me to listen to your bullshit?"

Her grip tightened, fearing that you would slip through the cracks and leave her completely. "He doesn't know about us. It's all my fault, I'm sorry, I know I should've told him beforehand but I assumed he would've gotten the hint after meeting you —"

It felt like another punch to the gut. "He doesn't know we're dating?"

The fake relationship with Jeno was supposed to make things better for you and Mina, but it felt like he was slowly seeping into your lives, casting you to the sidelines. You failed to notice all the Jeno this and Jeno that, but it all came to you at once now.

What you had witnessed tonight; the way she slipped into that fake relationship felt too real - it looked like what you two once had.

Mina's features were etched with fear, eyes glistening with tears, and despite all this mess, she looked gorgeous under the streetlights and your hazy vision. "I love you, please stay over tonight."

Your breath shuddered in disbelief. "You want me to go back and watch you play housewife with this guy? Don't you think your actions have embarrassed me in front of our friends enough, Mina?"

"Okay," she heaved out a sigh, pausing to consider her other options. "Then please let me come home with you tonight."

One thing about her was that she was stubborn - always almost determined to win you back immediately after arguments. You've never felt to defeated in your life; in the back of your mind, you knew you were never good enough for Mina.

In your eyes, she was a bright star with so much ahead of her future and the shadow you casted over only dimmed her; she deserved someone who would let her shine. And tonight, you saw that in him.

You shook your head, turning away from her. "Forget about this, okay? Go home, Mina.”

"Y/N, you're not listening to me," her voice trembled. "I wanna come home to you."

Ignoring her desperate pleas, you continued to walk ahead of Mina - widening the gap between the two of you. In one last final act, her body collided with yours from behind, arms wrapped around your waist tightly.

"Mina," you tried to wriggle your way out, but you undermined the extent of her strength. "Let go, people are going to fucking see!"

"Then let them," she cried out. "I'll end this stupid contract and tell him about you and how I have loved you for the past four years. No more drifting apart, my love, it all ends tonight."

You finally gave in to her touch, allowing yourself to lean against her. You began to think about all the things she gave up for you; ones that would've been beneficial for her career but in the end, Mina always chose you. And tonight was no different from that.

She was willing to defy everyone else, with her career on the front lines, just to keep you in her life - but why?

"I love you," she whispered, breaking the silence. "Please don't give up on me now."

You took a deep breath, turning around to face her. "Okay," a flash of hurt appeared in her eyes as she took a good look at your tear-streaked face - regret filling her body knowing that she caused it.

"Okay what, baby?"

"Okay, you can come home to me tonight...after you do all of that."

Her eyes lit up, pulling your face in for a kiss but you immediately stopped her. She looked at you, a mix of hurt and confusion plastered on her face. "What's wrong?"

"I don't want his germs on me, please brush your teeth first," you put your hand up in disgust. "I'll see you at home, okay?"

She chuckled, nodding her head in understanding. "I love you baby, text me when you get dropped home."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

For the next three months, things settled down for a while. In the eyes of the public, Mina was still dating Jeno - you two figured out that it would be too soon to end it and would only make things worst for the both of you. Their dates were less frequent due to her insistence; she fought for your relationship like she would. And he was extremely apologetic about his actions that night.

The two of you were rediscovering your love for each other, coming out stronger than before. Days were filled with laughter and heartfelt conversation - you were rebuilding your safe space together once more.

Things were good, until they weren't.

You were more careful than before, even after JYP offered an extension of your contract that came with a new apartment in the same building as Twice.

This allowed you to spend more time with the girls whenever you had the chance, hence why you were currently sitting on their couch with a bowl of bulgogi in your hand whilst Mina was away...which seemed more frequent nowadays.

After some blissful weeks together, the shadows of the past were creeping up behind Mina, and the person the came with it was Jeno.

They had frequent shoots for international brands together and were practically the face of the industry after one of their Prada campaigns went viral. The thought that often lingered in the back of your mind, the one that told you that you weren't good enough for Mina, was beginning to resurface in her absence.

"Can you cut more trees for us, Somi?" Chaeyoung rasped out. "Stop swooning that useless and ugly man over, the village doesn't need more mouths to feed right now!"

You chuckled at her frustration, eyes glued to the screen. Tonight's game was Medieval Dynasty, and both Chaeyoung and Somi were new to it. Usually, it was Mina playing it with you but with her often gone, you managed to convince one of her members to play with it - who also swayed her friends, Somi, into it.”

"I don't care, I wanna see useless and ugly babies," she snickered, eyes quickly falling on you. "Can you throw a mouthful of that into my mouth, please? It smells really good.”

"Have some damn shame, Somi," Chaeyoung said, fake annoyance laced in her tone. "Put some in my mouth first.”

"And what makes you two think I'll give you some?" you quirked up an eyebrow. "I asked if you wanted any but you chose to order sushi instead, so live with that decision."

"I just cut you thirty-four trees you ungrateful brat!"

"And I just built you three houses and a hunting lodge, plus I gave you my copper axe."

As the night continued, the nagging doubt inside your mind gnawed stronger - constantly looming over your thoughts. It was nearly midnight and it was unusual for her to be out this late.

to: minari

hey baby, you good? when are you coming home

from: minari

Was out with jeno and some of his members tonight, on mg way home now. Sorry!!!

You frowned; she couldn't even tell you that beforehand. Jamming your phone back into your pocket, you grabbed the controller in frustration again. Jihyo woke up from her "nap" (which was six hours long, you counted) and took the empty space on the couch next to you.

"Was that Mina?" she mirrored your expression. "Why isn't she home yet?”

"Went out with Jeno and his friends," you mumbled, eyes focused on the screen and failing to notice the glances your friends exchanged with each other. "Chaeng, I think you should build a huge orchard. I have all these seeds for you."

Not too long after, the door rang open and Mina stumbled inside; hair messy and eyes red. The scent of alcohol entered the room with her and the laughter faded into concerned looks.

"Hello," she slurred, struggling to kick her heels off her feet. "Hello everyone, sorry for interrupting."

Your heart immediately sank at the state of her, walking over towards her to hold her up. "Christ Mina, how much did you drink?"

She sheepishly smiled at you. "I'd rather not count."

"Okay, let's get you to bed," you said, suppressing your anger for tomorrow's conversation.

As you laid next to Mina with a million thoughts running through your head, you took note of his scent lingering a little too long on her.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

The next few days grew longer. Mina was out almost every night, barely making time for you. You were seated on the edge of your bed, hands buried in your face after Mina had slammed the door on you after voicing out your growing concern about her spending too much time with Jeno.

"You know this is important for my career, right?" she immediately turned defensive after hearing the familiar tone in your voice. "Y/N, the man you speak of is actually boosting Twice again. The girls are getting booked more -"

"And that's awesome," you said gently, going back into the mental box you built around yourself after stepping a foot out. "I don't have a problem with that, but Mina, it's affecting our relationship. I'm not seeing you, you're always out and when you come home, you're hammered. I'm not getting any sleep just staying up to look after you, it's unfair, I have work to do too."

That didn't help your case because she just seemed angrier than a second ago. "Why are you being so selfish? It's always about our fucking relationship and never about my career, do you even care about me?"

"Is it selfish to ask you for the bare minimum?" you bit your lip. "I want you to show our relationship a tinge of respect."

"You're so clingy all the time, I can't stand it," her frustrations were cut short with the sound of her phone ringing. "Why do you always start pointless arguments when I'm just about to leave?"

You sent her a glare. "If you leave now, you can sleep at your dorm tonight."

"Perfect," she clenched her jaw with no hesitance in her voice. "Goodbye, have a nice night!"

That night, you accidentally found out from Momo that your girlfriend didn't end up coming home. Accidentally...because she ended up asking where Mina was after she didn't show up to practice.

You knew the worst had already happened a long time, you felt it in your gut. Something shifted in Mina and its been going on for weeks now, the distant look in her eyes, their intimate photos together - she had been pulling away from you for some time now but you loved her too much to let her go.

Four years. Four years of building your life around your future and this was how it was going to end, tainted by her betrayal.

That wasn't even the turning point for you. No, it wasn't when the girls cornered you into a table in an attempt to talk you into confronting Mina about her late nights, not the photos plastered all over online - the ones with her head on his chest outside of a restaurant in Gangnam and definitely not the smell of his perfume on her clothes.

You knew it was truly over when she barged into your apartment one night with marks all over neck.

The room was illuminated by the television, a random Anerican show playing in the background. Your eyes were glued to the clock on the wall, a glass of whiskey on your hand as you waited for her to come home. She was supposed to be here four hours ago for your anniversary dinner...and she didn't turn up.

Mina was now living a fast life and you fell behind. You sprawled out on the couch, loosening the tie on your neck as you pictured a desolate life without her. It would end all the heartbreak, for sure, but could you really do it without her?

The door creaked open, revealing the disheveled woman in front of you. The knot in your chest tightened, eyes failing to ignore the dark spots on her neck.

"Y/N baby, you're still up?" your presence startled her, assuming you'd be asleep by now, she didn't even bother to hide it.

"Do you know what today is?" your grip on the glass tightened when she remained silent. "Happy fifth anniversary."

The severity of her shortcomings instantly dawned on her, rendering her frozen in her spot. It seemed like those three words pulled her out of the safe bubble she had been living in - away from all the guilt that had been eating its way into her chest. She knew that you have known for a while now, yet she was too selfish to let you go.

Deep inside, Mina needed you more than you needed her.

"It's not what you think -" she stammered, struggling to find a decent explanation.

"Do you think I'm stupid?" you asked her, voice dangerously calmer than expected. "You forget our anniversary and come home to me with hickeys on your neck? After five years together, you dwindle me down into a stupid idiot - how could you stoop so low?"

She flinched at your tone, noticing the half-empty bottle of whiskey and a gift box on the table. "I know there's nothing in this world -"

"You only get to speak when I'm fucking done talking to you, Mina," you stood up, towering over her - your anger rising. You couldn't look at her, she was a stranger to you now and the thought of it hurt. "How fucking dare you. After all these years!"

Tears welled up in her eyes, never having seen this side of you. You were always gentle, even during heated arguments where all she did was yell at you, you remained calm. "I don't know what happened, Y/N, but please, give me another chance to make it right."

She searched for love in your eyes and found nothing but indifference. You were enraged, her betrayal slashing deep cuts into the home you built for her inside your heart. Everything was crumbling apart, each fall carrying the weight of your love for her.

"Get out of house," you said through clenched teeth. "And my life."

This was the end.

Mina stepped closer, eyes filled with regret. She reached out for you, but you slapped her hand away. "I love you so much, I'm so sorry for everything. I know I ruined it, but we can fix this, Y/N, I'll do anything just to get what we had back."

You shook your head, refusing to shed another tear for her. "Fix this? I can't even look at you without feeling disgusted. It's gone, Mina, the love that we shared is gone. You threw it out of the window."

She remained silent, the weight of her own actions bearing heavy on her shoulders. "I understand," she nodded slowly, choking a sob out. "But I'll wait for you, until you're ready to fix things with me."

You held your breath. "Don't you get it? There's nothing left to fix. Please go now before I say anything I'll regret.”

"No," she shook her head, trying to intertwine your fingers together. "You and me always forever, right? I love you, please don't leave me."

A forced smile tugged on the corners of your lips as you were starkly reminded of the happy memories you shared with her over the years. It calmed you in an instant. "And let's keep it that way by letting each other go. Don't ruin any more memories for me, Mina, I don't think we can fix this. We have to move on separately."

"Let me remember you," her fingers desperately traced your face, her eyes closed as she brushed over your features - heart shattering at the thought of not seeing them anymore. "I don't know how to let you go."

You gently placed a hand on top of hers, stopping her. "Goodbye, Mina."

Tears cascaded over her cheeks as she tried to understand why she needed to let you go. "I've hurt you enough, haven't I?"

You didn't say anything as your eyes followed her towards the door, each step she took felt like another knife to your chest. As soon as her hand reached the handle, she turned towards you with a grateful smile on her face amidst her tears.

"Thank you, for everything. For being you. And for allowing me to love you. Goodbye for now, Y/N."

The door behind her closed with a gentle thud, the harrowing silence of your loss echoing. The loneliness was beginning to settle in your heart as you threw yourself back on the couch. Memories of her felt so distant now, but the way they made you feel were real. She loved you in those moments.

You weren't certain about what the future held for you, it was going to be a rough road ahead of you but you hoped to find yourself again. And maybe, live a life where love didn't have to hurt this much.

[jackiebrackettt]

prefacing this with I haven’t actually seen genloss I’ve just seen a lil bit of the scene around this shot + kept up with plot stuff via the dash but!

this shot is so!!!! i love it so much. apart from the fact it’s just beautifully lit there’s so many interesting things happening here

1) the camera moving from ranboo to charlie

at first - as much as I appreciated how cool the movement looked - I thought it was a little unnecessary to not just start on charlie since we don’t really linger on ranboo enough to get much reaction. and then I watched again and picked up on the music change and NVMM big fan of this decision. like the kind of rushing effect as the camera moves and all the focus draws close to charlie

it’s a fun sort of SFX for the camera while also really indicating something i can’t put into words without speculating about things I don’t know.. (if ur curious my guess is that the focus has mostly been on ranboo so this kind of a focus switch. taking us into charlie’s perspective briefly instead of ranboo’s)

AND THEN in the same shot (!!) the music changes to that soft piano…. fucking beautiful honestly. I just don’t think it’d have the same effect as a static shot focusing on charlie from the start. like the music transitioning with a cut to a diff shot just wouldn’t have the same effect

2) this is a low angle!!! (!!) generally low angles are supposed to be empowering to the character framed in them! it makes them look bigger/taller/more intimidating/etc. charlie very much does not have any power here and it shows clearly on his face (excellent acting btw - I could kind of piece together what was happening here even without an explanation and that is purely bc of this angle + his expression)

to me: this angle is a sense of false security. he’s a victim of what’s happening, he’s having his worldview questioned and he’s seeing the evidence that what he thought was true actually isn’t. you’d almost consider this a high angle moment - making him look small/vulnerable. but! Ranboo and Charlie should be getting Out. instead they slow down to look at this set. Charlie’s so engrossed in what he’s seeing that for a second he forgets that he’s potentially in active danger. Which is a mistake since he. literally dies only like 10 seconds later

but yeah. generally low angles are supposed to give power to the person they’re framing/making taller. but this one combined with charlie’s expression and what happens next is so fun bc it subverts all that in a really effective way. for a second: charlie is powerful enough to investigate and question and try to get answers. but he isn’t really. it’s just a false sense of security/bravado that he wasn’t even aware of and it arguably leads to his death

3) tbh I just really like centre shots like this! on an analysis level: it’s giving him the spotlight. likewise with the rushing effect: we’re focused on charlie now etc etc (I haven’t watched enough to analyse the centring shots properly)

[kingdom-hearts-fic-writing]

I posted 355 times in 2022

16 posts created (5%)

339 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@tharkflark1

@localcryptideli

@projectdestati

@merryaqua

@artofallworlds

I tagged 37 of my posts in 2022

#kh - 10 posts

#kingdom hearts - 10 posts

#text post edit - 6 posts

#text edit - 6 posts

#riku - 4 posts

#aqua - 3 posts

#aqua kh - 3 posts

#chilltobember - 3 posts

#good fucking content - 2 posts

#terra - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 109 characters

#but that's pure fan speculation while this question is one that should have been answered in canon already!!!

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

47 notes - Posted October 9, 2022

#4

162 notes - Posted October 10, 2022

#3

with friends like these,

alt

168 notes - Posted October 8, 2022

#2

with friends like these,

alt

219 notes - Posted October 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

697 notes - Posted October 10, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[skepticalarrie]

hello, I hope you are well, I want to ask you a question that may be stupid, I know that bbg is a stunt, that is, it is used for promotion but it is not entirely clear to me, the promotion that an artist needs is for the gp, how Is it useful to use the child for that? attracts attention but from its own fans not from someone else that's why I still don't understand how it works

*Sorry let me warn you before anything else that this is going to be a long answer and I completely missed the point I guess... but I just started typing like crazy and I just thought I should share all my thoughts because why the fuck not I just need to get things out of my system at this point*

Anon, remember when Louis said "cause nobody cares when you're boring"? Stunts are exactly about that, to make a fuss, to create narratives, to make people relate, to keep people interested and talking. Stunts are not exclusively used to bring new people in, it's also used to engage. People love to talk about artists' personal lives, everyone loves gossip. And if we think about it, when Harry and Louis are in a position where they can't talk about a massive part of their personal lives, they basically become the two of the most boring people on the planet. They will never be involved in rumours and gossip.... that's why there's no closeting without stunts. They need to give people something to relate to and to talk about, something to make people think they "know" them. Imagine - in a scenario where larries also don't exist - if there were no stunts over the last decade... people would know nothing about them, they wouldn't even be able to speculate about what their songs are about. And fans don't like to be left out like that, we like to know everything and feel included.

When the news broke about babygate, it was a huge scandal. It was a very fragile time for One Direction, they had a hiatus planned, Zayn had just left... so it was clearly a massive publicity push. It crossed the borders of the fandom, I remember literally seeing about it on the news. Everyone was talking about it and it really brought the attention back to the band and especially to Louis that was fading in the background, and it kept him relevant for a while. And then over the years, they just kept the narrative rolling.... the same way they do with Eleanor. It's a backstory for Louis' life, and that's how they have been using it nowadays. When there's something to promote, instead of talking exclusively about his music with *no context*, they talk about his "life", about his kid, the mini-me articles... or anything people can relate to. The pattern is very clear, promo season is when the stunts are all over the place. That is one of the main reasons why I personally think babygate keep happening - besides punishment, but this would be a whole new post.

Look at the last few months with all the fuss about the kid showing up again in Louis' life, it's pure chaos. And the controversy about the kid not being his just fan the flames even more. Nothing brings the fandom more alive than that. This could be why they're pushing babygate again after so many years, to be fair. Louis' fanbase skyrocketed over the pandemic, so maybe that's what shifted. I don't think the intention has been bringing new people in, they're targeting this to the fans. Maybe they're building a backstory with this situation for some reason... I don't know. I see a lot of people concerned and confused on why the press is not picking up the stories, about Christmas or the tweet. But I think this is actually quite reasonable, 1) because social media is much more relevant than headlines and tabloids nowadays, stunts don't work the same way now they did back in 2010. This is how things work in 2022 and with Holivia it became crystal clear that Instagram and "organic" content is much more effective now. And 2) if this is a backstory being build for some reason, everything that is happening right now will be relevant in the future and they can easily bring back "the time Louis and Freddie spent Christmas together" or whatever.

[davidmann95]

So RWBY/Justice League is apparently a crossover that's actually going to happen. Of the little we know right now, how do you think that's going to pan out?

Anonymous said: Those questions about Superman and Batman in RWBY seem prescient, because I'm hearing that an official crossover is in the works

Anonymous said: Um, so there's a legit Justice League/RWBY crossover coming

Anonymous said: So, that official DC/RWBY crossover, huh?

Anonymous said: So, how about that DC/RWBY cross, eh?

Anonymous said: No more speculating how Superman would fit into RWBY when DC themselves are providing their own answer XD

The immediate thing that leaps out beyond the Kingdom Hearts* level of utterly out of nowhere berserk this premise is: while the RWBY comic had a couple minor sequel hooks, and I don’t know how it did in its original digital chapters or in trade, as a monthly periodical it was selling poorly enough that DC didn’t bother to print its last physical issue after the return from the Coronavirus shutdown, and while I thought it was great a lot of fans complained about its art and characterization throughout. I hoped for that sequel, sure, but I wasn’t expecting the book to be regarded internally as anything but a sales failure, nevermind not only continuing it but tripling down in the most extreme and bizarrely specific way possible that’s neither intuitive (unless you have special interests like me) nor surface-level ridiculous enough like Batman/Elmer Fudd that people will buy it just to see how it works. I don’t understand why this comic is happening when no one but me wanted this.

(* The Kingdom Hearts comparison is apt because they were similarly close to the top of things I’d love to see cross over with the DCU that would obviously never, ever happen because that’s too precise and random a combination of my interests. Even if this is legally possible where that isn’t, that would still be conceptually simpler.)

I was asked a couple times in the past about how Superman or Batman could make sense in RWBY’s setting, and it turns out I was closer with the latter than the former - that rather than a dimension-hopping traditional crossover, this is reverse-engineering what the assorted members of the League would look like if they had always been part of Remnant ala JLA/Planetary, some of the old DC/Marvel crossovers, or the more recent Batman/The Shadow. Which actually fits really well with the series regularly evoking assorted fairy tales and mythologies with their characters; this bunch is just one more set to be added. Though that raises several more thoughts and questions:

* The solicit refers to them as Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne, and Diana Prince, but will they actually be referred to as such in the story, and will people comment on them not fitting with the color-based naming conventions of that world? Or will they be renamed and evoke their sources purely through iconography, ala Ruby not literally being Little Red Riding Hood?

* How much will the origins of the assorted characters be changed? Batman, Cyborg, and Aquaman would all make perfect sense within the ‘rules’ of the setting with few major alterations, but will Superman still be from Krypton and Green Lantern a space ranger, or will they simply be ordinary humans with thematically reminiscent backstories and Semblances/weapons that evoke the classic powers? I think the latter could work, but I imagine the former is more likely (even if Bennett might keep it vague on some of the details to preserve the aura of mystique and avoid changing the shape of the world too radically) simply because everyone’s surely aware that fans would complain about being ‘ripped off’ for getting the characters ‘in name only’ otherwise.

* Speaking of changes to fit the setting, between being a Faunus and the apparent low-tech traditional armor look of his suit, is Bruce Wayne in here not operating from a position of wealth? You’d just think as a given the Wayne family would be easily plopped in as business rivals to the Schnees and Alfred would be on a first name basis with Klein, but it seems Bennett might have something very different in mind. Also, little disappointing he simply has a katana rather than those collapsible batarangs that turn into swords that Ellis always gave him which would fit perfectly here. And, as so many have already asked: how miserable is he every second of every day in a world where everything is also a gun. At least this isn’t a universe where anyone’s gonna think he’s irresponsible for training teenage sidekicks.

* And if we’re going into individual characters: RWBY Barry Allen is adorable, what the hell. He just looks so dopey and hapless, I sure hope he doesn’t ever have to die to stop the Anti-Monitor. We’re definitely getting a meeting with Harriet that retcons in that he’s the other person with a speed Semblance she mentioned running into, and if he’s tapping into the Speed Force then the jokes that that’s what Harriet does are probably gonna become at least a little bit canon.

* Are the Themyscirans magic, given all magic has a very important common root in this world?

* I don’t think there’s a dud redesign in the bunch? These are all really inspired in their own ways, which is good because unlikely as it seems this is I believe the first time we’ve really gotten any sort of official interpretation of “here’s what the DCU would look like as a Shonen”. Go ahead and say the hell with it and make it Earth 28, I’ve thought before making that an anime Earth would fit with the map.

(By Ag_Nonsuch)

* Bunch of obvious ways these characters can play off of each other: Ruby is paralleled with Wonder Woman on the cover, and I’m curious how Bennett will play that, but she makes most sense next to Flash, a super-fast fan made good, or Superman, a character she so deeply if unintentionally evokes on so many levels I felt I had to make clear when describing her that I didn’t solely appreciate her as a psuedo-Superman analogue. Weiss makes sense up against Batman either as a wealthy heir or a Faunus who’s likely faced his share of pain from the Schees who either way are cold perfectionists defined by inner pain stemming from their families, or Wonder Woman/Aquaman as fellow ‘royalty’. Yang is paralleled with Superman on the cover and that makes sense with the two country bruisers with issues regarding their lost parents, though she’d also make sense with Aquaman as the ‘temperamental’ members a lot of the time of their respective teams, or Cyborg as they both deal with their relationships with their bodies after requiring prosthesis. And Blake pretty much has her pick: like Superman she uses an article of clothing to ‘pass’ and shares the commitment to justice, she and Batman are dark children of privilege (or not in this case, though in this world they’re both Faunus), she and Wonder Woman both left the island homes where their people were safe to try and make the rest of the world better, she and Aquaman are both Faunus royalty, and Green Lantern is about overcoming great fear and in Jessica Cruz’s case specifically about the guilt of running away.

* Will this be entirely flashbacks to the pre-series/Beacon years, or will those be flashbacks set from a ‘present’, and if so when? What happened between the siege of Haven and the train setting off for Argus is the most loosely-defined period in the story and is right on the heels of the end of the original RWBY mini, so I’d imagine it fitting here. And given they apparently join together “to take on a force unlike anything they've seen before” rather than purely the character work of that previous book, what might that be?

* Hey, superhero comics/superpowers as an idea already exist in this universe, will that come up?

* If we can get one single scene in this and it’s going with a “yes they’re still aliens and magic and whatnot” premise I want Clark, who hasn’t thought of being Superman yet and therefore is still at least somewhat hiding his powers, being wracked with guilt over not pursuing becoming a Huntsman and therefore not being there at the Fall of Beacon. Which is a ridiculous thing to take the blame for, but of course he would, he’s Clark, culminating in trying to apologize to JNR for Pyrrha dying he feels in part because he was a coward (when they don’t even have the faintest concept for why he would think he should have been there or could have done anything).

* Once all’s said and done, how is their presence in the world justified as not being a factor in the series proper? It’s simple if they’re ‘ordinary’ analogues who can go off to quietly have adventures elsewhere, but if not then some of them either have to be shuffled off stage or presumably left with their stories incomplete, with a little afterward of “and they went on to be the greatest heroes of all...later, after the scope of team RWBY’s main adventures so that we never have to directly address them again” to avoid them becoming unavoidable major factors in the war against Salem.

In the end, will it be DC’s best comic? No, though I imagine one of their better ones this year. Will it be among the ones I look forward to most each month? Right up there with Yang and Reis’s Batman/Superman baby, this is a miracle freak of fate and I’m gonna appreciate the universe bending over backwards to make entertainment for me and me alone while it lasts. Given I finally checked out RWBY in the first place because I was curious about Bennett’s original comic, this is a heck of a full-circle moment.

[peekbackstage]

People outside of the music and entertainment industry often have a lot of misconceptions about how things within the industry work. There’s actually nothing wrong with that, especially when Hollywood often makes the industry seem glamorous, when it really isn’t. 

The world of entertainment is confusing, brutal, and cut throat. It can be uncomfortable - jarring, even - to read about the inner machinations of the business, especially the machinations that specifically concern money. 

My last few posts regarding talent buying seem to have triggered some of that inherent discomfort, probably in part because my tone was very cold and mechanical - patronizing, even, with how matter-of-fact I laid things out - and also in part because I said a few things that people simply don’t want to believe. I understand why there would be discomfort. I also understand wanting to not believe what I describe to be the truth, when it is. 

(Some people seem to think that I’m just making some shit up. I hate to break it to you, but I’m not.)

I understand that people might not like what I have to say. I also understand that the truth might be upsetting to hear for some, when they learn about how the business of music and entertainment actually works. You take away all that glitter and shine and what lies beneath is the raw ugliness of it all. 

I’ll be honest when I say this: entertainment is an ugly industry. It is brutal. It is the art of commodifying a talented human being and milking that human being for all they’re worth, for as long as they remain a viable asset. 

That is ultimately how corporations within this business look at an artist: not as a living, breathing person with hopes and dreams, but as an asset. A brand. Something that can be packaged, marketed, and sold. An artist is not a person. An artist is a product for a business, and businesses are never pure. 

While this blog may have started out as a blog that dealt with a certain CP, as I stated in an earlier post, I will be moving forward as a blog that answers questions about the music industry and provides an insider’s perspective to the world of entertainment.

What this means is that sometimes I might clash with fans who have an incorrect idea of the way things work in this business. Unfortunately, that is just the reality of the situation: fan perception vs the brutal truth. And the only truth I can provide is the truth I lived. 

This might also mean that sometimes, I might fall out of alignment with fans, specifically because what I have to say is not always speculation, and can be shockingly cold (because this business is all about money) and as such, it can look jarring and unfanlike, and, well... “not right.” 

I don’t actually know what I can do to lessen the impact of that. 

I’m not sure how to tread this line - the line between fan and insider - or navigate these two very different roles. I’m still trying to figure out the best way to do it, and would be open to any suggestions as to how I can code-switch appropriately between these two roles. Should I state clearly when I am trying to offer a strictly industry perspective that is divorced from the “fan” side, even if I am analyzing an artist we all love? I’m open to suggestions here, because I want to be respectful of the community you guys have built. I also want to be respectful of the cultural mores of this community.

In Asia, there is this idea that you are either a fan or you are industry - that you can’t be both. The belief is that once you cross the line from “fan” to “industry” you can never go back to being a “fan” again. You are not allowed to simultaneously exist with one leg in the “industry” space and one leg in the “fan” space. Those who try to do so, or ever dare to express themselves if they are fans, are usually considered to be unprofessional and are alienated.

Obviously, I’m in this position now - a position I’ve actually never been in before - so I’m not entirely sure of the best way to operate. I’m not here to rock the boat or get into a bunch of fights with people or make a warm space feel negative. I’m honestly just here because I want to share my knowledge. 

Unfortunately, that knowledge sometimes might be pretty unpalatable, and I’m sorry, but that’s just the reality of the situation. And I’m not about to pretend like reality isn’t real.

In any case, if anyone has any advice on how to best navigate all of this, I’m open to suggestions. 

[ambarto]

Middle Earth geology: a masterpost

I did say I would do it once and I did it, a masterpost of all the works I found online pertaining to geology in Tolkien’s works. This isn’t to say that it’s a complete list of everything that has been written about the subjects - there’s multiple works that I’ve seen cited in some of these articles that I could not find anywhere, and likely other works I just didn’t dig deep enough to find. If anyone has links to additional works, feel free to share them, and I’ll add them to the post. Many of these works are somewhat old, but for the most part they’re still good in the points they make.

General Middle Earth works

A New Synthesis on the Geology of Middle-earth: Genesis, Orogeny and Tectonics by Chris Ingles and Lindy A. Orthia (2016) - an overview of all the mountain ranges in Middle Earth and how they might have come to be, as well as a discussion on what may have happened to Beleriand. Differs from many other articles in this list, as this one includes also the magical aspects of Arda’s formation rather than attempting to only use strictly realistic geological concepts. One of the longer articles here with 14 pages in total, but the language used makes it easy to read.

The Geology of Middle-earth by William A. S. Sarjeant (1995) - a general overview of tectonical processes involving Middle Earth, in particular relating to tectonic plates and faults. Literally the first results I got when I googled “geology tolkien”. Not too long and not too complicated a read, many of the technical terms used receive an in-text explanation. Includes various maps. The most difficult parts to understand are probably towards the end, with citations from “The Geomorphology of Middle-earth” by Robert Reynolds (the whole article wants to present a more recent take on the previous work by Reynolds, an article that gets cited a lot but I haven’t been able to find anywhere).

Glaciation in Middle-earth by Samuel Cook (2016) - part of a copy of the journal “Anor”. Article is four pages long and fairly easy to understand. The topic straddles the line between a geological and a more geographical/climatological narrative, but geologists love glaciers so we’re gonna put glaciers here too.

Middle Earth Geology, a thread (2019) - not an article, but a thread on TheOneRing.net forum were various users discuss possible explanations for various features of Middle Earth and Beleriand. Because it’s a forum thread it doesn’t have definite conclusions, simply puts forwards multiple theories. A few mentions of things that get overall overlooked in other works, like some of the mountain ranges present in Beleriand.

The Geologic History of Middle Earth by Benjamin D. Hilton (2009) - this is a rather technical paper in language, and extremely speculative. Essentially, this paper talks about an hypothetical history of Middle Earth on a real world geological timescale, starting 1.7 billion years ago. The way the article is written as if the author was able to gain actual field data, and while much of what is said makes sense as far as theories go a lot of it is based on fake evidence peppered in through the paper. Doubtful in conclusions, but a fun read for sure

The Elder Ages and the Later Glaciations of the Pleistocene Epoch by Margaret M. Howes (1967) - this work is often cited as the first article investigating Middle Earth’s geology so I couldn’t not add it here. I should however mention that the contents are, well, they’re kind of a wild ride. The article essentially strives to explain how Middle Earth could have hypothetically been turned into modern day Europe and tries to give an explanation to real glaciations through the eyes of Tolkien’s works. I wouldn’t really call this article scientifically or historically sound, it’s more definitely a curiosity if anyone is interested. A bit longer than some other articles. Scan of a typewriter document, which might make it a little harder to read.

The Shire

The Geology of the Shire by Mike Percival (1984) - second article in this PDF. The document is a scan of an old copy of “Anor”, which may make it harder to read than some other files. Short article and without a lot of technical terms. Very little tectonics, mostly makes guesses as to what kind of rocks you might find in various areas of the Shire. Also features a geologic profile and map.

Khazad-dum/Moria

The Draining of Moria by Mike Percival (1987) - part of a scanned copy of “Anor”. Explores theories on how the Dwarves of Moria would have gotten rid of the water that might have flooded the mines, and before that makes hypothesis on the kind of bedrock Moria might have been built into. It also answers a question as to why the Sirannon formed a lake outside of the Doors of Moria. Fairly easy when it comes to language.

The Mines of Moria - a comment by Ted Crawford (1988) - a comment on the previous article, again on an “Anor” journal. Focused more on the engineering side than the geological one, I’m mostly adding this one for completeness, but it doesn’t really contradict the purely geological conclusions. Lots of numbers going on there.

The Mines of Moria - Further Thoughts by Mike Percival (1988) - a comment on the previous comment. Same journal, same discussion. Once again, more engineering focused, but might be interesting.

Numenor

Geographical Observations on Numenor by Duncan McLaren (1985) - once again, scanned “Anor” copy, and not the best scan I’ve seen. Short article, not exclusive to geology. The part dealing with what kind of rocks you might find on Numenor, which is also probably what may interest a fic writer more, seems overall rather reasonable. Also gives a theory on plate tectonics and attempts a geological explanation of the Akallabeth.

On Numenor by Mike Percival (1985) - a comment and response to the previous article. Scanned “Anor” copy again. Focuses on the plate tectonics, and has a somewhat more technical language than the previous article, going more in depth. Alternate view for an Akallabeth event than the previous article. Also features maps.

Paleontology

Paleontology in the Silmarillion by Mike Sutton (1991) - very short and very easy in language. Doesn’t really go particularly in depth on any matter, essentially explores how there could be certain similarities between what is considered (or was considered, paleontological ideas change a lot in thirty years) the order in which various life forms appeared and certain language used in the Silmarillion. If you thought that this was an “Anor” copy, you guessed it right.

Misc

“Beneath the Earth’s dark keel” Tolkien and Geology by Gerard Hynes (2012) - this article doesn’t deal with the geology of Arda, but rather speculates the way Tolkien himself might have tried to work geology within the text by considering the state of geological knowledge and how it evolved during Tolkien’s life. Also covers a little the history of the theory of plate tectonics, if anyone is interested about learning about it.

Re-reading the Map of Middle-earth: Fan Cartography’s Engagement with Tolkien’s Legendarium by Stentor Danielson (2013) - this is not a geological article, but a cartography article. The reason I added it is because a lot of the geological studies on Middle Earth, especially of the tectonics kind, are based on how maps look like and what deductions can be made from the shapes you see on them. As this author points out, maps are not necessarily accurate with their information, especially older ones, and might do things like, for example, make mountain ranges be excessively straight in line. A bit long, but worth reading.

[hippychick006]

Misha Panel 

I’ve done this summary as it helps to have what Misha actually says to hand as more often than not, his stans misquote him. It’s also useful as Misha often changes things - as he appears to have done between his last virtual panel and this one. Note, I’m only focusing on the key parts where he talks about the show/Jared/Jensen.  It is not free of anti castiel/misha comments where I disagree, though those are few and far between for a change. It’s long so putting under a cut... 

- Misha confirms his filming finished in March prior to Covid [this comes up later in more detail].  Watching the last epiosode was an emotional experience for him.  For him, it represents the end of a chapter of his life. 

- Misha says fandoms not going anywhere [*hisses]

- Misha’s future work/projects?: working on senate race in georgia, publishing a book of poetry, couple of film projects he’s trying to get off the ground, one he’s not acting/directing in, the other he may act and/or direct 

- Jack brought Cass back but we didn’t get to see it, what happened?: different ending originally that Covid restrictions made impossible to produce. Cool ending involved bringing back lots of cast members over the years.  In the original ending, Castiel hadn’t gone to rebuild heaven, there was a different conclusion for him.  Misha purposely did not read the last two episodes before they aired as he wanted to be an audience member. He knew a little about Castiel/Jack’s fate in the abstract, but because he wasn’t in it, he doesn’t know what the answer was. He thinks them rebuilding heaven was less boots on the ground and more at a spiritual level [so he’s talking at the metaphysical/spiritual plane level and not corporeal) so they are everywhere (e.g. in drops of rain as per Jack’s speech to Sam in 19). That’s what I’m understanding at least.  He says that’s pure speculation though.]

- what qualities does castiel have similar to Misha?: there are a lot of similar qualities [backstabber comes immediately to my mind tbh]. Over time he and the character melded. Over time he evolved into something that didn’t quite fit in with either angels or humanity, he felt like an outsider which Misha has felt for much of his life. He became softer, more sensitive, he tried to do the right thing and be a good person. Oh wow, he says that in order to write to play to Misha’s strengths, the character had to “morph a bit”.  I loved bad!ass Castiel, he’s my favourite Castiel!

- What one thing will he take with him from playing Castiel?: on a professional level, it was fascinating to play a character for so many years. He discussed with J2 recently that the characters really became part of them. He doesn’t think that will happen again, just due to length of time the played them. On watching Jensen’s death scene, he cried but it was more “That’s Cass’ friend Dean dying”  It was weird to have a blurring of lines between yourself and your character but he thinks that’s what happened with all of them. He’ll take the character away, which will be a part of him forever. 

- Misha made fortune cookes and put inside lewd and inappropriate fortunes

[I don’t get this next bit as earlier in the panel he says he didn’t read the last two episodes so didn’t know what was going to happen and gave the answer I documented above and now we have this next question where his answer seems to contradict that]:

- Is there anything more he can say about the originally planned finale?:  He doesn’t want to be the one to reveal these state secrets, but what are they going to do, fire him?  He feels someone might have said to him, please don’t reveal what was going to happen, but can’t remember for sure if it’s true. He says there was a version of Sam and Dean’s heaven that was populated with all of the people that were from their past that they have come to love.  They could not do that because of Covid restrictions. 

- Favourite behind the scenes memory of “The boys”: He doesn’t have a favourite memory, they were close friends for 12 years. They had laughing fits and fights and got pissed off at each other. Some of his fondest memories of being at work anywhere were working on Supernatural.  He’s never going to be on a set again where there is so much mirth so he’s going to miss that for sure.

- he’s talking about Castiel’s wardrobe which is actually funny - e.g. original suit 3 sizes to big, sometimes showing blood and holes, sometimes being magically fixed, not wearing a tie, going back to wearing a tie... “Nobody complained about that too much...” [uh because some of us were watching other things and your own stans were looking at the background.]  He stole some trenchcoats and has them in his closet.

- How do you prepare for emotional scenes?: it’s hard for him to get into that emotional state. To prepare for the Castiel’s declaration of love scene and taken by the empty, Misha needs to be off by himself and not chatting with people, so for that scene he sat on his own in a dark corner of the stage and ruminated on his own.  Rob Hayter, stunt coordinator, noticed and stood sentinel and made sure no one disturbed him which Misha said was really sweet.  Everyone stopped fucking around for that scene to allow them to do what they needed to do.

-  How did you feel when you read the script when Castiel dies?: Misha knew for a long time that ending was coming, he’d been speaking to Rob Berens about it, he was really happy with it.  It was the ending he’d wanted for Cass so when he read the script, he was really happy it had made it to the page [i bet it was Misha, how are those destiel sales going through your Stands company?]. It felt it was a little “risky and a little brave” for the show to do [on a fucking network that is number one in Glaad reviews?  Are you being fucking serious right now?] He was happy to be a part of that [again sales] and have that character express love like that so he was happy with it. 

[Okay, so notice in his last virtual panel 2 weeks ago, he was very happy, he’s now starting to do exactly what he did with Karla movie as he goes on to say...]

He’s seen “some people” [you mean lgbtq+ people?!]  “complaining” about this is playing into the “bury the gays” trope which is an insidious and real trope in film and television storytelling in h/w over the years. Misha doesn’t think that’s what was happening with Castiel’s [he died second after the confession MIsha!] First of all Castiel isn’t dead, he’s in heaven working to rebuild it... [you didn’t know this 2 weeks ago, as far as you knew Castiel died and went to the empty].  So much good came from that declaration, because Cass was able to save Dean, which was essential to saving the world, so this declaration wasn’t so then fate strikes you down and you’re done forever. The declaration literally ended up saving the world. It was of Cass’ own volition, he wasn’t forced to do it, it was his choice, and he thinks that’s important, so maybe he’s naieve and doesn’t feel they are playing into that trope. 

[You were absolutely playing into that trope Misha and you didn’t give a shit as you did no research on playing an lgbtq+ character so sincerely fuck off]

He’s glad that Castiel got to express that and have that ending. He thinks thats kind of important and he’s proud the show did that. [again fuck off, this was done for you and it showed]  He thinks its a conversation they will continue to have as they continue to dissect it going forward [nope, consigned to the dumpster fire I’ve put the majority of the rest of Drabbernatural in]

- Do you think you will ever get an SPN tattoo?:  He doesn’t have any but he’s thinking about getting tattoos relating to his children.  Is that a sign of desperation that a true hasbeen will do? Should he get a tattoo of Jared and Jensen’s face.  He could get a tattoo of Castiel’s face on his abdomen.  He’s saying probably not. If they want to get one, totally supportive of that

-  what is his favourite moment of the finale?: Dean’s death scene, masterfully executed, excellent performances from both Jared and Jensen in that scene and made him cry

- best memory of your last day on the supernatural set?: everyone being really sweet, lot of tears from cast and crew. The last scene he shot as Castiel was the last scene of the day on a Friday. Him, Alex, Richard S and Jensen all had to get to Las Vegas for a fan convention the next morning. They shot late and finished at 1.30, it was Cass goodbye and Misha’s goodbye to the show.  He said they had to get a chartered flight because of the early flight [not sure why he’s saying this as I thought it was Jared’s plane they all travelled in?] He’s talking about going back - because of the issue with the plane - and they are all texting family, saying they love them, so it was such a strange night, he’d said goodbye to Supernatural, he said goodbye to Castiel and later on said goodbye to his kids because they thought they were going to die that night. :(

[Going to add that this puts to rest that Misha was due back for 19 and 20 even before covid, it confirms he was not going to be in either episode, though I maintain, they may have shot an extra scene while they had him to slot into 19 or 20]

- do you think Cass and the other angels got their wings back?: Yes, probably, they have Jack who is the new god. What a long and miserable experience that was of not having wings. Cass was so powerful when he started, he could snap his fingers and teleport and time travel and lost that with his broken wings and they didn’t come back. He doesn’t know why they didn’t fix him as Castiel would have been a much more powerful ally if he didn’t have to drive around in the pimp mobile [uh, for the same reason Sam lost his powers, deus ex machina]. He tells the story of Jared pressing buttons in the car causing the hydraulics to fail costing $10000 of repair.

- in your opinion, what colour are Castiels wings?: shit, I don’t know, I always thought they were black, but now that you’ve said that, they are rainbow coloured, how about that?

- What is the worst joke Jared and Jensen did to you?: [*cough fans looking for things to complain about or hate Jared on]: Jared and Jensen, as you know, they are not good people.  He talks about directing an episode and they got excited in the week before, they were going to break into his apartment and steal his furniture, they had all kinds of nefarious plans, the crew tipped him off and told him to watch his home and car keys. They put a fish under the seat in his car and one of the crew told him.  Jared removed the canvas on the director’s chair and laid it across so it looked like it was still the chair. Misha fell for that at least 5 times. That was pretty frustrating. Jared kept messing up his lines (which Misha said Jared never does) and Misha was directing in another room, Misha eventually went to see what the problem was and that’s when Jared pied him in the face. Everyone in the crew was complicit in the “assault”. Jensen brought him another shirt, said, “I’m sorry man, that’s sucks, that was too much.”  Jensen then pied him in the face.

- What is the real story behind the handprint in the finale?: Um I don't know, but I think it was a nice touch, that was a really lovely callback that worked well. I can’t remember how we came up with that, or was it in the script, I can’t remember. Wasn’t it a good callback to the very beginning. [Again, this appears to differ from what was being reported two weeks ago so might need to go back to that panel if I can get access to it]

-What’s your favourite memory from offline/online panels?: It’s much more fun to be live and in person. I don’t know, I have had some really fun... [PANDERING ALERT COMING UP] Jensen and I have some really fun panels together in Rome.  I don’t know why but we always just seem to have a real hoot there, talks about the resume off, they really enjoyed that. He had pizza delivered to a creation panel once.  He talks about the Saturday night special and he can’t wait till they can get back to that. 

[NOTE CYNICAL PART OF THIS IS FOR HIS FANBASE TO ONCE AGAIN CLAMOUR FOR MORE JENMISH PANELS. I DO NOT TRUST THIS MAN AT ALL]

- What was your favourite version of Castiel to play?: he had the most fun playing Lucifer because Mark P had left a great template to play Lucifer [you took the worst parts imo but Mark fucked his character up too]. He enjoyed playing the human parts of Castiel because it was fun to explore how to be human for the first time. Overall, just regular Cass. He wouldn’t have wanted to trade regular Castiel for other iterations. [A great question would be badass Castiel v late season wooby castiel preference]

[strangertheory]

With the theory about Hopper and others potentially being introjects, would that mean that everything that took place with Hopper and others like El and Will etc. was purely in an inner world? Joyce for example, who I assume isn’t an introject...her interactions with the Hopper we see would have never happened, at least IRL? Also, how do you think they would reveal this theory to the audience in a way that they understand? I find it interesting but I think if they outright state it, it could be seen as sensationalizing DID by comparing it to scifi and could receive criticism. I hope you’re well, btw!

I’ll answer each of your questions one at a time. (Thanks for messaging!)

“With the theory about Hopper and others potentially being introjects, would that mean that everything that took place with Hopper and others like El and Will etc. was purely in an inner world?"

The nature of an introject alter is that they are based on a person or character who exists in the external world. Introjects can be “factives” (based on a real person – perhaps like Chief Jim Hopper) or “fictives” (based on a fictional character – like the Demogorgon or the Mindflayer.)

Therefore this means that, hypothetically, if there is an introject who is based on an original Jim Hopper that the Byers family knows, that there could hypothetically be scenes that are the “original” Chief Jim Hopper and then scenes that are a very different Jim Hopper who exists in internal worlds in the DID System. Some scenes might be one Hopper, and some scenes might be the other Hopper.

It’s important to keep in mind that when there is an introject alter based on a person that does not mean that the introject alter will behave and think and act exactly like the “original” that their identity was based on. Their mind subconsciously established a new alter and identity that knows themselves to be Jim Hopper, but that person will be totally different from who the other Jim Hopper is because they are truly not the same person. An alter of Jim Hopper might be based on one particular idea of who Jim Hopper is as a person, but alter-Hopper’s identity can also be heavily influenced by the DID System’s lived experiences and thoughts and sometimes even other people that they know too, and therefore the accuracy of that initial persona of alter-Hopper will be entirely dependent on the DID System’s interpretation of who they think Jim Hopper is.

Joyce for example, who I assume isn’t an introject...her interactions with the Hopper we see would have never happened, at least IRL?”

So. Joyce! Hopper and Joyce. Within my current DID theory and meta I see a variety of possibilities regarding Hopper and Joyce’s interactions with one another as well as a variety of possibilities about Joyce’s character. We currently know her as Jonathan and Will’s mom. I did briefly touch on one hypothetical in which Joyce might not be, under all circumstances in the series, “mom” a few months ago but I haven’t discussed it extensively because it’s an idea that I doubt would be especially popular in the fan community and is very niche to my current thoughts on the series. You can read my speculation on “a Joyce who is not mom” in this blogpost here at this link. I do see it as hypothetically possible that there is a Joyce that is an alter. Hypothetically. There are many possibilities, but I do see this as one of many hypotheticals. I recognize this is a very controversial “what if?” and many will see it as highly unlikely, but the possibility that there is a Joyce who is not mom and that is perhaps a very well-loved and trustworthy person in the DID System’s life and who has an introject alter based on the “original Joyce” who might not be a parent but perhaps is, in the external world, a doctor or a nurse or a therapist that Will and Jonathan know as “mom” was something that I have considered. Maybe. Hypothetically. Perhaps.

I am working on a very long blogpost in which I’ll explore a handful of very different hypotheticals about Hopper’s character and my thoughts about his role as the “deeply flawed but protective dad” in the story as well as address my thoughts regarding his relationship with Joyce. Hopper’s dynamic with Will and Hopper’s dynamic with El are also very interesting to me, so I’ll definitely be exploring his relationship with each of them in that WIP blogpost as well.

I’ve avoided talking about Hopper and Joyce for a while because many of the hypotheticals that I’ve considered about their characters are rather incompatible with current popular fandom ideas about their relationship. I don’t really ship Jopper, but it’s arguably one of the most popular ships in the fan community. There are one or two scenarios in which I could see Jopper being “endgame” but there are a handful of hypotheticals in which I see them absolutely not being a couple at all. I’ll be discussing most of these hypotheticals that I’ve considered in the Hopper blogpost that I’m working on. Originally I wasn’t going to talk about Hopper at all until after season 4 because I was anxious about how my ideas might be received by the fan community, but given that even the most mundane opinions that I’ve expressed over the last year have resulted in me receiving a few angry anonymous messages I figured: screw it. If I can’t even ship Byler or like Bob Newby without getting a little bit of harassment and pushback from other fans then I may as well talk about whatever I want and share all of my ideas. So I will be finally sharing all of my ideas about Hopper and his relationship with Joyce, El, and Will. The blogpost I’m working on will probably take a while to finish but I hope to publish it before season 4 is released.

When I’m thinking about different theories and possibilities for what might be happening in Stranger Things I rarely feel as if there’s only one possible route for the story to take. Yes, I do at this point feel very confident that there is a meta narrative happening in the story and that not everything is as fans currently believe them to be regarding both the character relationships and what each character is dealing with, but the possibilities that exist within that are vast. I might suspect that Stranger Things is intended to be about a DID System, but this creates millions of possibilities for the route that the story could take. I might believe that I’m starting to notice certain consistent details that imply the Stranger Things universe is based on something that has a logic and structure to it, but that doesn’t mean that I’m suddenly psychic and can predict what will happen within that universe’s structure. The story is in the hands of the writers, and I’m eager to see where they take it.

“Also, how do you think they would reveal this theory to the audience in a way that they understand?”

I wrote about how this could hypothetically be explored and revealed in the show in this blogpost here. 

“I find it interesting but I think if they outright state it, it could be seen as sensationalizing DID by comparing it to scifi and could receive criticism.”

Although it is hypothetically possible that writers could choose to create a fictional story in which superpowers are real and a character with DID also happens to have superpowers, and this has been done before in popular media (ex. David Haller, aka Legion, who was first introduced in the X-Men comics in 1985 and who has dissociative identity disorder and who has alters with mutant abilities) I personally currently theorize that all of the fantastical events that have happened in Stranger Things so far might be intended to have happened exclusively in internal worlds and not in the external world at all. Events that take place in internal worlds are not limited by the rules of physics and what is “real” in the same way that events that take place in our external world are. Events in internal worlds can be very metaphorical and fantastical because they exist within the mind. The scifi and fantasy elements of the story could, hypothetically, be directly tied to fantastical events that are not sensationalized but are truly accurate to the way that some (but not all) real DID Systems might process memories and trauma within their internal worlds. Internal worlds aren’t dreams, they’re much more vivid and consistently structured and they are often structured around real-world experiences that they’ve experienced, however I want to very loosely compare an internal world to a “dream world” in order to clarify why having fantastical events and monsters and characters with superpowers in an internal world would not necessarily be sensationalizing DID but rather portraying a realistic hypothetical. Telling a story that features internal worlds in a DID System in which fantastical events happen is not inherently sensationalization since fantastical events can and do happen in some real DID Systems’ internal worlds and that is not something that is exaggerated or fictionalized at all. What might seem unrealistic and fantastical to us might be very real for them and most especially for alters who spend significant amount of time in internal worlds. To alters that live in internal worlds exclusively and never front in the body the internal world is their real world and, comparatively, our world might feel very fictitious and unreal to them. But it’s definitely important to keep in mind that every DID System will be very different, and that any one example of a DID System isn’t necessarily comparable to others since their unique experiences will define the way that their System works.

The ethics of “should a popular show like Stranger Things be about DID” is a complex question and an important one, but I haven’t explored it extensively because I believe we do not currently have enough information regarding the approach and the resources that the production team and writers have taken in the creation of the Stranger Things universe and story in order to discuss those ethics at much depth quite yet. If the story is, in fact, about DID or a specific mental condition: did they consult with medical experts? Are any DID Systems directly involved in the production as consultants? Is this particular series entirely fictionalized or are certain plotpoints based on real DID Systems’ experiences? If they are not basing the events of the story on a “true story” then what are the ethics of creating an original story about a fictional DID System? I do believe it is important that creators make a conscious effort to be informed and ethical in their approach to storytelling that involves any real-world medical references, especially with regard to commonly misunderstood and misrepresented conditions like DID, but given the nature of Stranger Things and the way that I believe we are not yet aware of the “bigger picture” of what is happening in the story because the writers intend for it to be revealed in future seasons, I do not think we know enough of the context of the creation of the show in order to begin discussing those nuances. I think and hope that we will learn a lot more over the next few years as seasons 4 and 5 are released. The question of “should they” is a different topic than “are they,” however. Whether they “should” or whether they are doing it “well” will need to be discussed if and when we know if they actually are doing it and also once we know more about their creative approach to the subject matter and what resources they have used in the creation of the Stranger Things universe. I think the direction that the story takes next is also going to be important regarding the assessment of whether or not the story was written ethically, too. If they reveal, for example, that the story is about a DID System that has murdered people or done terrible things then I would immediately say “nope, that’s a misrepresentation and a continued stigmatization of a deeply misunderstood community and I see the story as being unethically done.” But we don’t know what will happen in season 4 and 5 yet. Thus far all I can say is that I believe the writers have effectively encouraged us, as fans, to deeply empathize with and care about El and Will and Hopper and everyone and that this gives me hope that whatever the story is about that the writers are taking an approach that is deeply respectful of those who are neurodivergent or dealing with mental illness like PTSD etc. They’re the heroes and survivors and they are not the villains. And that in itself matters very much. But I guess we will see what happens in next in the series and whether or not the story is about DID or is about something else entirely.

“I hope you’re well, btw!”

Thank you! ^_^ I’m doing really well right now. 

...

*As always please keep in mind that I'm doing my best to explain things as well as I can but that, ultimately, if you'd like to learn more about DID and internal worlds and alters that you should find up-to-date and recent medical resources on these subjects. I am not a medical resource I'm a stranger on the internet talking about a fictional Netflix series.

[satonthelotuspier]

Day 3 of Wangxian Week 2020.

Prompt Palette is Rebirth - Mememtos - Celebrity AU.

When Lan Wangji broke up with Wei Wuxian it destroyed him; he'd thought they were in love and happy together.

Two years later a gala event they're both required to attend throws them back together. It was Lan Wangji's choice to break up, so why does he suddenly want to talk to Wei Wuxian after all this time?

A Second Chance

Jiang Yanli placed a hand over the top of his as he paused to look at the picture of Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji smiling into the camera in front of the Parthenon in Athens. He should cry at the chasm of emptiness that opened up inside him at the feeling of loss, but he didn’t have any tears left at this point.

He put the picture in the cardboard box, along with the rest, and all the stupid little trinkets and mementos that reminded him of Lan Wangji, and their life together, before Lan Wangji had broken all ties with Wei Wuxian.

One of the most cutting things about it was, as they were both celebrities, in the public eye, their relationship had been secret, known only to a few close friends, family and work colleagues.

And so Wei Wuxian was expected to work tomorrow; he had a recording session, and he would have to look and sound like he was perfectly normal, like his world hadn’t collapsed around him and left him lost and confused.

“You don’t have to deal with this now, A-Xian, we can leave it until it’s a little less fresh if you want”

“No, jiejie, I want them gone, I want them out of here tonight. Tomorrow is a fresh start. A rebirth, new me, no more Lan Wangji, he can go to hell”

He slammed the lid on the cardboard box, then checked his phone, “Jiang Cheng should be here soon, lets tape this up so he can go throw it at Lan Wangji tomorrow” Wei Wuxian was raw and hurting, and still at that point he didn’t care what he said about the other, Lan Wangji was only lucky he hadn’t felt the need to call him or drive over there and give him his entire mind, never mind a piece of it.

Better, in case he said something that couldn’t be taken back. Not that it mattered now.

His horrible week didn’t get any better when the pictures of Jiang Cheng punching Lan Wangji in the face were splashed all over every news and gossip tabloid and website in the country.

Wei Wuxian thought he should have felt some spark of satisfaction at Jiang Cheng putting Lan Wangji on his ass in defence of him, but he didn’t.

It didn’t help that Lan Xichen, trying to restrain Jiang Cheng, had accidentally broken Jiang Cheng’s arm which had resulted in a ridiculously long, nerve wracking operation for he and Jiang Yanli to sit through, on his already frazzled nerves.

Jiang Cheng received the dressing down of his life once he came around from the anaesthesia. Wei Wuxian had never heard their jiejie so angry and cutting, either before or since.

2 Years Later

“Wei Wuxian is forced to attend to promote his new collaboration album with MianMian, Lan-xiansheng, perhaps you should consider advising your client to give this event a miss”

Wei Wuxian rolled his eyes, and leaned back in his chair as Jiang Cheng’s face flushed in temper and he unconsciously reached up to rub at his right forearm while he listened to whatever was said to him.

“That is, of course, your client’s prerogative, Lan-xiansheng. I see. Well, please inform him of the situation. If your client still sees it as necessary to attend we would appreciate it if you would provide us notice via email” there were no pleasantries as Jiang Cheng hung up the call and tossed his earpiece onto the desk in front of him, frustration evident in the move.

“Asshole”

“Flirting with Xichen-ge again, I see”

“Flirting? With the man who snapped my fucking arm like a twig?” Jiang Cheng demanded in irritation.

“In fairness you did punch his brother, and he explained it was an accident; he was only trying to restrain you. He even sent you a fruit basket and flowers to apologise”

The former of which Jiang Cheng had given away to charity, and the latter to their jiejie, but still…

Teasing Jiang Cheng took his mind off of the very real problem of possibly having to meet up with his ex at the charity gala evening, which was why he did it. And it was fun, besides.

“It was a spiral fracture, Wei Wuxian, it took eight months to heal, like flowers and a fruit basket make up for that. It fucking hurt”

His complaint made, he dropped the subject, and, knowing Wei Wuxian had taken in all the information he needed from his half of the conversion with Lan Xichen, he changed it to discussions of some fan signings they had arranged next week with co-artist MianMian.

***

As the event grew closer things became frantic. Jiang Cheng told him that he’d been informed Lan Wangji would definitely be attending. So now was the perfect time to prove he’d moved on, he told himself, that Lan Wangji was nothing to him more than an ex boyfriend.

Despite these words he didn’t feel hopeful he was up to the task, however.

Then a tabloid ran with an article speculating that he and MianMian were in a secret relationship. It genuinely wasn’t the first, nor would it be the last of it’s kind linking him romantically with someone but it caused a frenzy and he and Jiang Cheng were busy enacting damage control with MianMian and her management team.

A few weeks later, another article was run in another tabloid claiming through rigorous investigative journalism it had been found out that a celebrity reporter at a rival paper had been blackmailing and harassing celebrities with threats of exposure. Wei Wuxian had never liked Su She and it was easy for him to believe it was the truth; he had never come across as particularly ethical, but that paper claimed initially that the accusations were false; pure mud-slinging.

The thing about mud-slinging was, if enough was thrown, some of it stuck. The melee culminated in the resignation and disgrace of Su She, as the other papers were suddenly full of stories of celebrities who claimed to have been blackmailed and bullied.

***

With all the fuss he hadn’t had that much time to dwell on his imminent meeting with Lan Wangji. Nor had he really had time to mentally prepare himself.

The night of the gala, therefore, he felt like he was on the back foot and unprepared.

He didn’t know what to expect nor how he was going to react to what did occur.

The feeling only intensified when, calling an acknowledgement at the knock on his dressing room door, it turned out to be the man he dreaded encountering.

The other came in and closed the door behind him, his elegantly handsome face was expressionless, but he wavered in front of it like he didn’t know what his reception would be.

Wei Wuxian could help him with that.

“Lan Zhan, I thought our management teams had agreed that we would keep a respectful distance. This is hardly that”

“Wei Ying…” the tiniest look of consternation crossed his face, before it disappeared. “Your team wanted that, I never agreed. Can we please talk?”

What could Lan Wangji possibly think there was left to talk about at this stage? The only way to find out was of course to agree, but having Lan Wangji here was proving he wasn’t as over him, and what he had done, as Wei Wuxian hoped. It hurt. It still hurt. It was silly, two years later he should have moved on from this, stopped giving Lan Wangji this power to hurt him.

“I’m not sure what you think there is left to talk about, Lan Zhan” he said tiredly, closing his eyes and rubbing at them with a finger and thumb.

“The truth. The things I didn’t tell you”

At those words Wei Wuxian’s eyes snapped open; what did he mean? He looked back at the other, the only way to find out of course was to let him talk. He waved vaguely for the other to sit, Lan Wangji followed his gesture and perched on the nearby stool.

“You saw the news about Su She, the reporter, recently?” he asked, knowing Wei Wuxian couldn’t really have avoided it.

“Yes”

He nodded as Wei Wuxian agreed. “We were being blackmailed, Wei Ying. I broke off with you to protect you. Su She threatened to smear everything over his grubby little tabloid, it could have destroyed our careers”

“If you paid why would you break up with me? And is your career really that important to you? How the fuck is that protecting me?” as far as excuses went it turned Wei Wuxian’s temper up to eleven.

“Wei Ying, my career meant nothing to me, I was protecting yours. I broke up with you so Su She wouldn’t have any future leverage, no reason to leave me alone and come after you. Blackmailers don’t stop” that soothed his temper a little, but still…

“Who the hell were you to decide my career was more important to me than the man I loved? We could have gone anywhere, done anything. I wouldn’t have cared about it. Typical Lan arrogance, assuming you had the right to make that decision alone”

That seemed to shake Lan Wangji a little, “I only wanted to protect you”

“Well, it didn’t work, you ripped my heart out. But thanks, I guess?”

“I’m sorry, Wei Ying, but I did it because I love you” he almost missed the present tense of the admission in his anger. What was he to make of that? What did he even want to make of that?

They were silent while Wei Wuxian pondered.

“Are you really seeing MianMian?” the question was low, tentative, unlike Lan Wangji, and Wei Wuxian looked at him, caught the gaze of those pale amber eyes. There was a cruel part of himself that wanted to say yes, claim they were now a thing, try to hurt Lan Wangji. But he didn’t listen to it.

“No, its one of those stupid, fake, tabloid ‘they’re spending so much time together’ pieces of fiction. We’ve just released a collaboration, of course we’re spending a lot of time together now we have to do the promo”

Lan Wangji nodded his acceptance of Wei Wuxian’s words. Was that a flash of relief in his eyes?

“Do you hate me, Wei Ying?” well that question came out of the blue. He was caught off guard by Lan Wangji’s unusual directness.

“I don’t know” was the only honest answer he could give, again, ignoring that voice that told him to hurt the other and just say yes. “I thought I did, I think I should. I’m not sure. I don’t know”

“Then please give me a second chance, Wei Ying. I’ll earn your love again” Lan Wangji leaned forward suddenly, pressing a short, almost-chaste kiss again Wei Wuxian’s lips. Should he punch him? Push him away? Enjoy it?

Lan Wangji pulled back before he could decide; he was confused, and oh but he had missed those lips on his.

His voice was still sharp, “Do you think one kiss is going to make up for everything, Lan Zhan?” he demanded. He had been hurt, destroyed, and here was the other begging for a second chance. A chance he was beginning to think he dearly wanted to allow him.

“No, Wei Ying, but I have to start somewhere”

[cinemaocd]

The Mirror and the Light raises more questions than it answers

Going into The Mirror and the Light, the third and necessarily final book in Hilary Mantel’s Thomas Cromwell trilogy, the basic plot wasn’t much in doubt. Thomas Cromwell would rise. Thomas Cromwell would fall. In the summer of 1540 he would be executed. Along the way his son would get married, while he remained single, despite wide-spread speculation that he was angling after the King’s daughter Mary Tudor. Those who Cromwell promoted would be raised as well and some would remain loyal while others would betray him. Cromwell’s fall would come some time after Henry VIII’s unsuccessful marriage to Anne of Cleves, and his role in promoting that marriage would play some part in his downfall. Cromwell’s past interactions with his two most powerful enemies, Stephen Gardiner and the Duke of Norfolk, would also have some bearing on his downfall, since they were the main figures behind his arrest.

These are the undisputed big historical facts that Mantel had to work with, or in many cases, work around. There were many other smaller facts that she had to play with as well, some of which appear in the book as delightful asides like Cromwell putting a neighbor’s house on rollers in order to settle a boundary dispute, or Cromwell importing beavers to control the streams and rivers of England. There was also some evidence that Cromwell had an illegitimate daughter, born sometime after his wife’s death. Mantel massages the timeline to make this fit into her backstory of original characters from the first two books, and cleverly ties the daughter to the seemingly random charge in his arrest that he “sheltered Anabaptists.”

Of course Mantel created a whole plot, a series of original characters, and interpretations of historical figures and events for the first two books. They were fiction, after all. Like any good writer (and Mantel is an excellent writer, always in control of her material), she left questions unanswered to hook readers into the third book. If you were expecting these plots to be tidily resolved, you will be disappointed in The Mirror and the Light. The book fails to resolve many questions, creates more plot threads and then leaves those loose as well. Does that mean the book isn’t successful? I would argue that it is precisely because she fails to resolve these puzzles and questions, that Mantel manages to walk the knife edge between genre fiction and literature with a big “L.” She is certainly aware that these characters have all been the main actors in romance novels and murder mysteries as well as history plays. Indeed that is the subtext of almost every movement of plot within the novels.

While Wolf Hall seemed to be a conversation with playwright Robert Bolt about the veracity of A Man for All Seasons, which made Thomas More the hero and Cromwell the villain; this last installment seems to be deeply concerned with T.S. Eliot’s Murder in the Cathedral, about the murder of Thomas Becket at the hands of Henry II. Cromwell digs up Becket’s bones at their resting place in Canterbury, tears down statues of Becket and even keeps the supposed remains of the martyr in his house, in case the king changes his mind. He  considers commissioning a play that shows what a terrible person Becket was for disobeying his king and bowing to Rome. Henry II was excommunicated, and Mantel dwells on the possibility that if the current Henry suffers the same fate, the whole nation could be lost to invaders given free reign by the pope to do their worst to the heretics. This is one of the reasons Cromwell is so eager to align England with Lutheran princes via the marriage with Cleves. But of course, Cromwell, as always, has half a dozen reasons for everything he does.

Eliot celebrates Becket as a champion of the separation of powers of church and state, a founding principal of modern democracies and one which was much threatened during the time Eliot wrote the play, 1935, with fascism on the rise in Europe. Of course it does not take a rocket scientist or even a political scientist to put two and two together with our own times. Cromwell would be anti-Brexit, pro NHS and anti austerity. Yet, he would also be the kind of neo-liberal who would be quietly feathering his own nest, profiting from selling off National Trust properties all the while making speeches about the enduring greatness of the British monarchy. For every eerily prescient passage about the plague and it’s random destructive path through society, there is a reminder of just how foreign a country the past is: Cromwell--a becon of rationality and enlightenment--believes the source of his fever is a snake he held in Italy. For every kindly head of an English department who is inspired by Cromwell’s leadership, there is a despicable grotesque like Steve Bannon who admires Cromwell’s ability to seize both religious and political power who sees himself, like “self made” white men everywhere, the victim of the elitism that Cromwell faced. 

But these are questions for people who get their essays in front of more eyeballs than I ever will. What do I, the Cromwell fanatic think of the new book?

I think die hard fans of the first two books will be generally pleased with this installment. We get so much more Cromwell than ever before. We are moving more slowly through his life and we are, with exception of a few enlightening flashbacks, solidly in the company of the mature, sardonic, earthy man that we we got to know in Bring Up the Bodies. In short, Cromwell at fifty is a pure joy. Mantel as with the previous installments surrounds him with a crew of lively and memorable companions. From his son who has come into his own as Sassmaster of Austin Friars, to the irrepressible Christophe, who stays with Cromwell through his confinement and walks with him to his execution, cursing the king as Cromwell could not, I love everyone in this English Reformation. Even the bad guys like Norfolk and Gardiner remain fresh. Mantel uses them thriftily, lest we tire of their antics, so that when Cromwell is blindsided by an Easter dinner with Gardiner and Norfolk it is one of the highlights of the book.

As we move closer to his doom, Cromwell has flashes of his fate, but the history fan, or even just the person who has made a close reading of Cromwell’s wikipedia entry, can see it collapsing all around him. Yet, miraculously he never wears out his welcome as other iterations of the character do. As much as I enjoyed James Frain’s Cromwell early in The Tudors his characterization gets more shrill as the story moves forward to the point where his execution is almost a relief. Cromwell is a convenient villain because so many of the facts of his life actually support that conclusion. Mantel used every trick in the book from making him the victim of child abuse, to giving Cromwell a love of animals and children to humanize him in the first two books. In the third she sharpens all of these tools, even as she readies Cromwell to make that last journey from the tower.

In the first two books, there are a number of tropes that are quite worn and flimsy. For example, the idea that it was Cromwell selected the group of petty noblemen executed with Anne Boleyn because they once participated in a masquerade mocking his former master, Cardinal Wolsey. The men were guilty of something to be sure: a kind of greedy, entitled, elitist malice, but not the crimes for which they were executed. It is a weak premise really, but Mantel made it work because of the way she showed the working of Cromwell’s mind, and the way in which she brought the reader so thoroughly into his schemes. By the time you realize that you have been spending time with a mass murderer you are so under his spell that you begin to question the entire premise of narrative fiction. Can any narrator be relied upon? Is there any such thing as a villain or a hero? Are there not elements of both in every person? Can’t the guilt for all of this blood really be laid at the feet of the often childish monarch in whose name all of this happened? Where does personal responsibility begin and end in the midst of atrocity?

All of these larger questions are floating around in the background of The Mirror and the Light and as Cromwell focuses in on the grim task of disemboweling England’s religious houses for personal and political gain, you wonder what price all of this is going to have on his soul. In Wolf Hall, Cromwell fell into a fever, (probably malaria--which had a basis in historical fact) after he managed More’s execution. Though More’s death should be seen as political triumph for him, he views it as a personal failure. Cromwell does not like saints who don’t behave like rational men. He likes men like Geoffrey Pole, who he interrogates in The Mirror and the Light. Pole gives in easily to intimidation, talks a blue streak and is pardoned and released. Cromwell suffers another bout of the fever--which he believes will ultimately take his life-- after bringing down the last and largest religious house in England, the nunnery at Shaftesbury. Now it is true that Cardinal Wolsey had an illegitimate daughter who was housed there, but Mantel takes that fact and weaves into the fabric of her story. Again it is a flimsy premise and again it works because it is surrounded by unassailable bulwark that is Cromwell’s character. Cromwell arrives at Shaftesbury with the vague plan of trying to do something for the Cardinal’s daughter before he turns her out of her home. He winds up disastrously proposing marriage to her in an almost comical scene, a proposal which she rejects with such venom that he weeps for only the second time in three books. This is a man who has lost his entire family, suffered deeply all through his childhood and adolescence and yet this is only the second time he weeps? It’s not quite logical, and like the masquerade plot, it feels all a bit creaky, yet we believe it because Cromwell.

Wolsey’s daughter also accuses Cromwell of poisoning Wolsey, a rumor which has touched Cromwell’s ears earlier in the book, from the dying lips of another bastard child, this time The Duke of Richmond, the illegitimate son of Henry VIII. The injustice of the accusation drives Cromwell’s grief more than the girl’s rejection and he becomes haunted by the idea of who is spreading this rumor. While it could be any of Cromwell’s numerous enemies, it is never fully resolved. On second or third read of this or the other books, we might find the clues that Mantel hid in the story. Similarly multiple readings of the first two books reveal clues as to who terrorized Anne Boleyn by leaving her hate mail, setting her bed on fire and murdering her dog. Mantel has not exactly solved that mystery but she puts the probable solution into the mouth of one of her least trustworthy characters, Lady Jane Rochford, the wife of the late George Boleyn. If Cromwell believes her, he doesn’t say. We are left to decide for ourselves.

In the end, Cromwell’s bout of grief-driven malaria does contribute to his downfall, as he misses a crucial session of parliament, in which Stephen Gardiner forced through a series of laws meant to reverse the Reformation. Cromwell has to stand by and watch friends and fellows in the struggle to create a bible in English, burned at the stake.  In Wolf Hall, Mantel says that a “blacksmith creates his own tools,” meaning that Cromwell created the very laws which he used to take down Katherine of Aragon and Anne Boleyn. The blacksmith imagery pays off in the final chapter of the last book, when we are reminded of Cromwell’s childhood nickname “put an edge on it” when he spies the dull instrument with which is to be executed. In The Mirror and the Light, the blacksmith is left at the mercy of his own tools. Unable to find proof of Cromwell’s heresy as a religious dissenter, Gardiner uses the law that Cromwell created to prevent any of Henry’s heirs marrying without the king’s permission. He takes idle gossip started by Cromwell’s oldest frenemy Eustace Chapuys, that Cromwell is planning to marry the Lady Mary Tudor, and uses it to fabricate the evidence used in Cromwell’s arrest. He uses the exact methods that Cromwell used to bring down Anne Boleyn: spin a rumor into fact while using the king’s momentary dissatisfaction as the window of opportunity to make ordinary ambition look treasonous.  

The scenes with Mary are both heartbreaking and hilarious, as are many of the scenes with other possible, past marriage candidates such as Bess and Jane Seymour. Just as Cromwell’s relationship with frequent correspondents Stephen Vaughn flavored the earlier books, Cromwell’s relationship with Thomas Wyatt is the closest thing to a romance that Cromwell has in The Mirror and the Light. Cromwell’s seemingly irrational loyalty to Wyatt is explained away by a deathbed promise to Wyatt’s father (there is also a convenient deathbed promise to Katherine of Aragon retconned into this book to explain the lengths he goes to to save Mary Tudor from father’s wrath). Another flimsy trope that works because of the strength of Mantel’s characterization. 

In prose that is frequently breathtaking and always interesting, Mantel saves some of her best stuff for describing the relationship between Cromwell and the king. If his friendship with the poet Wyatt is like that of a lover, his strange entanglement with Henry is like that of a spouse. In one scene Cromwell and Henry fall asleep together on a sofa. The intimacy is heartbreaking, partly because we know how it will end. When Cromwell is in his most pitched delirium of fever he realizes that Henry will use him up and spit him out. When he recovers himself, he writes The Book of Henry --treasonous advice to some imagined future privy councilor. Even if he does not consciously acknowledge  that Henry will kill him, as he has his other spouses, his fever self, his true self, seems to realize it.

[kingdom-hearts-fic-writing]

From one “ask” to the next! (Tho this is more asky)

What do you think Sora’s unique Keyblade would look like? I know people always look at him and go “it’s obviously the Kingdom Key, it’s what he’s always drawn with!” But to that i say, no, that is NOT his Keyblade, that is simply the base of every keyblade before it has taken up a specific transformation.

This also sorta extends to Roxas. People always say Oblivion/Oathkeeper are his keyblades, but to me no, those are not his keyblades, they are simply keyblades he likes to use. What his true Keyblade is, is Two Become One, because that is LITERALLY about him!

Every other character (save for Mickey and Xion [to my knowledge], though you could argue the Kingdom Key is *his* keyblade since he’s king and Xion sadly doesn’t get used much except as a plot device, but i digress) has their own keyblade that says “this is who i am”, so why doesn’t sora?

I personally believe his keyblade would hold some ties to Riku and Kairi (obv, most of his life revolved around them), a bit of a sky theme perhaps, and maybe the keychain could be his Mark of Mastery when he earns it because by Kingdom Hearts has he earned it.

!!!!! the Mark of Mastery bit, oh my heart. (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

tbh, friend, your brain is MUCH wrinklier than mine, honestly top tier, bc I have been thinking on this ever since you sent it and I have nothing! like this has literally never occurred to me and it's SO interesting to think about.

like you're right--the Kingdom Key smacks of the KH universe, the literal setting/worlds that Sora travels through, not of his actual character arc. conversely Roxas has SEVERAL unique, non-world-themed keyblades. to be fair his keyblades reference other characters too, but Two Become One is the culmination of his arc (well, his first arc).

(consider also that Oathkeeper and Oblivion may be considered symbols of Roxas's arc in tandem with Two Become One! O&O appear in scenes where Roxas is HUGELY anguished, like after he absorbs Xion, and when he's fighting Axel to abandon the Organization--in scenes like that it's not a stretch to imagine his "light" and "dark" sides are in conflict and he is warring with himself, just like O&O are separate and distinct in their "light" and "dark" motifs. but if O&O represent his internal struggle, then Two Become One can be seen as syzygy: a powerful completion of the self created by the unification of two diametrically opposed halves.)

(consider also that Normura has said Oathkeeper and Oblivion represent Riku and Kairi, meaning that holding them evokes Roxas as a stand-in in Sora's trinity, a trinity Riku doesn't belong in, and one created only after Xion is lost and his relationship with Axel is fractured... anyway where was i)

i do love the idea of a unique keyblade for Sora, designed to call back to Riku and Kairi and! the sky!!

it'd have to be something beyond just clouds/sun/celestial body imagery--not that they're bad, but bc those motifs have shown up on previous keyblades of his. maybe something that evokes the Final World? maybe a keyblade finished like chrome? mirror-like? or maybe instead of a literal mirror, it always "reflects" an image of the clouds/water from the Final World world to symbolize Sora's journey to/return from death?

[adventure-hearts]

DIGIMON ADVENTURE: LAST EVOLUTION KIZUNA

Trailer Analysis & Thoughts

Because what’s the point of having a new trailer if not to overanalyze it?

First impressions

The comparison between this and the first few trailers and the approach for tri. could not be more stark. Kizuna puts all the cards on the table up front and gives us fans exactly what we want: great visuals, iconic music, and the main gist of story & themes (not an international release date, though).

The comparisons to tri. are inevitable at any point in the lead up and during the new movie. Please don’t take any of this as a “negative criticism” of tri, a show I obviously adored. But I want this to be better than tri. 

The feeling I get is that Kizuna is learning the right lessons from tri. — the good parts, of course, but also learn from what it did less well. So I’m really thankful that we have Hiromi Seki and some of the original staff on board and hopefully doing a great job. Tri.’s preference mystery and challenging, hermetic storytelling seems to be squarely thrown out in favor of a more traditional, fan-centered, uncomplicated approach. The fandom reactions to the trailer are overwhelmingly positive, so it was probably a good decision.

Visuals/Music

The PV shows once again that people shouldn’t panic about concept art. The characters look beautiful, age appropriate and even well-dressed!

The animation and look of the movie looks stunning but, again, this doesn’t mean we should raise our expectations too much. tri. too had lovely visuals and battle sequences and then it had parts that were simply not animated at all.

I’m glad they’re using the original version of Butter-Fly rather than another posthumous remix or special edition. Wada should be remembered, yes, but not in an exploitative way.

Characters 

The trailer starts by actually setting up the characters and where they are at the start of this story.

Taichi rushing to university

Yamato looking pretty while being angsty over food

Sora determinedly doing Ikebana

Dr Jou at work saving lives

Mimi working hard on her business

Takeru and Hikari hanging out like the carefree students (could it be — gasp! —a date?!)

Daisuke, Miyako, Iori, and Ken alive and well, with actual faces and lines.

“Young Genius Menoa” makes her introduction, and unlike the introductions of Meiko, Maki and Diago (RIP - gone but not forgotten), this time the don’t have to speculate who she could be, since they actually tell us. I appreciate not having to go through another round of “Which previously seen character could she be?”. 

Group dynamics seem interesting, by the way...

Half the Adventure team doesn’t seem to be involved in Digimon business and it seems like they never see each other.

The 02 team, by contrast, sticks together (it’s almost like they’re actual best friends!)

Takeru and Hikari have apparently been excluded from the 02 squad, which given what happened in tri. is probably fair

The mysterious antagonist is also introduced... and named!

EOSMON, a Queen Bee digimon who steals the consciousness of adult children. 

Why a bee? IDK. But for once the story doesn’t seem to involve the End of the Worlds. Considering the last time the Chosen were fighting on three fronts representing supernatural forces and divine beings, a new, all-powerful Final Boss almost feels refreshing (never dismiss Vamdemon, though!).

Story

The trailer also nicely establishes the main plot of the movie, which has already been descried in detail on the official website:

Eosmon is stealing the consciousness of adult chosen children, including some of our main characters.

The bond between the Chosen and the Digimon is at risk of disappearing as they grow up.

Their new digivice has a countdown, indicating the number of evolutions they have left before the bond disappears.

Taichi and Yamato decide to fight despite of this risk.

Two new mysterious evolutions appear!

At first glance, this seems a genius idea:

It provides an organic reason to remove characters from the chessboard (leaving Taichi and Yamato as protagonists);

It automatically raises the stakes for Taichi and Yamato, since we can bet Eosmon got to their siblings, loved ones, and friends — and the only way of saving them is by making a choice to sacrificing their bond with their partners;

They get to introduce a new kind of special evolution that’s stronger than Omegamon, and makes sure Taichi and Yamato remain the strongest members of the team. (Someone has suggested they will “fuse” with their digimon, like in Tamers, and sounds great).

Note:

The part about the bond between the Digimon being threatened by adulthood could the reason why Kakudou balked out. It looks like the kind of tiny lore-related detail that would contradict nothing concrete in canon, except Kakudou’s own vision of the universe and its rules. As of now, I don’t see any signs for a significant departure from the previous shows, as people speculated at the time. 

Themes

Yamato’s lines and other points of the trailer reveal the movie will tackle familiar topics at the start of any Adventure story:

the Chosen Children can’t be at peace for too long

the kids have the habit of growing apart slowly whenever they aren’t engaged in saving the world

how does the role of a Chosen Child evolve when he or she stops being a child?

the need to decide when and why you are fighting

how humans adapt to digimon living among them

Presumably, at this point in time digimon should be public knowledge, the number of chosen should be rising, and digimon are coexisting in the real world at this time. We are in a fast track towards the epilogue world, so the implications this new status quo has, how the Chosen Children around the world live, the politics of a new world with digimon... all would be very intriguing. 

For many years, people have wondered if there are any biological/spiritual reasons why digimon are partnered with children, how adult partnerships could work, and whether it’s even possible to be a “Chosen Adult” (this is why keeping the translation DIgiDestined is a bad choice.) tri. already explored the psychological tensions caused by the increasing gap between the maturing chosen and their eternally childlike partners, and how traumatic it can be for an adult who stops being a chosen child and having a digimon partner by their side. It should be interesting to find out if there’s an actual in-universe mechanism or rule that favours pure-hearted children over complicated adults, leading to an inevitable situation of separation and of being an “ex” Chosen. 

It should also be interesting if the children themselves have different positions towards their role / the DW — some of them might be very happy to lead normal lives, while others need to keep that connection to the DW and want to keep fighting for it.

Questions Raised:

A possible downside of this trailer is that it doesn’t leave much to the imagination when it comes to what will happen in the movie. Sure, there may be a huge twist. But plot armor and the Epilogue ensure the kids will win at the end and find a way to preserve their partners even as they become adults. Not complaining: after tri., I would welcome a more traditional story.

Still, some things made me curious:

What is the origin of Eosmon?

What are the new evolutions? How will they get them? According to her bio, Menoa “makes references to relationships between humans and Digimon nobody’s heard of” — will she be the one to get them there? 

Will the events of tri. play into this movie at all?

What will the shorts add to the movie, especially for characters who don’t get much screen time? 

Will a digimon story featuring adults finally dare to touch romantic relationships?

Will we get special cameos?

What will we learn about the characters’ path to their Epilogue endgames?

Will we get any Epilogue hints?

Will this truly be the last Adventure story? Can anyone believe that?

I just hope Western fans can get answers sooner rather than later.

[sooibian]

Elude (1)

Moodboard | Prologue

Main Characters: Kyungsoo x Reader (ft. Baekhyun)

Genre: Dystopian AU

Warnings: Mentions of death, murder, illness and suicide

Tags: @squishysoo-12

Word count ~ 1400

A/N: Kinda unedited, sorry! Please let me know your thoughts.

***

You gradually opened your eyes to a rectangular room. It was just adequate enough to accommodate a small table besides the single bed you lay on. On the table stood a battery powered fan and a carefully placed wooden cup of ginseng tea. There were three open shelves affixed to the opposite wall for all your belongings. On the adjacent wall, a pathetic excuse for a window fitted with thick iron bars. Your servant's quarter was devoid of any plug points, ceiling fan, iron nails, sharp edges - for obvious reasons. You had only gone from one prison to another. At least you had the room all to yourself.

You took another glance at the wooden cup. There was a note underneath it.

That was quite an entrance -B

You felt a faint throbbing in the back of your head. Flashes of events from earlier came rushing to you.

Realization hit you like a truck. You froze.

You were in treacherous waters. This house belonged to the man you hated and feared the most. The sheer proximity to him filled you with a sense of dread. No one must find out. But then again no one would find out. Your father succeeded in keeping your identity a secret. As far as the world was concerned, his daughter died in the same car crash that took his wife. You were merely the daughter of two ordinary fisherpeople. The kind the world didn't care about. And to your credit, you had mastered the art of obscurity.

You read the note again.

B?

Byun Baekhyun!

Byun!

Commander Byun was the President's right hand man - second in charge. He had played a major role in thwarting the Rebellion by having several spies on his payroll, eventually causing the Rebels to lose faith in each other. He was the man who had saved the President's life during the Rebels assassination attempt. Not by the showcase of his bravado, but by deceit.

Commander Byun had lost his wife in an illness at the time of the Rebellion. The event didn't weaken him in the slightest. It turned him into a bigger monster instead. Baekhyun must be his son. You wondered how he dealt with it all. The loss, the fear, the chaos.

You were swimming among sharks. And nobody was to be trusted. Your father had taught you to be smart. You would quietly accept any punishment they gave you for fainting, lie low and go on about your job as any other servant would.

You glanced at the teacup again. Unable to remember the last time you had ginseng tea. Although it had gone cold, you relished every sip of it. As if it was your last.

***

The news of your fainting episode had spread like wildfire. It had earned you a nickname in the kitchen - Princess. Your poor partner was stuck with 'Sloth' since the past two years.

"Set these plates on the dining table, will you Princess? Be careful about it", the head-chef ordered.

The volley of taunts and jibes had just begun.

The mahogany dining table, although elegant, seemed a little ostentatious. But then again, what about this place wasn't a gross display of wealth.

You set the three plates in order as instructed. One for the President at the head of the table. One for his wife and the other for their son.

Like any other family, there were stories about this one, too. Apparently, in her younger days, the First Lady was betrothed to a high ranking officer in the Army. The officer died under mysterious circumstances within a week of his engagement. The President had married her almost immediately after, in a hush hush affair. Speculations galore over her decision to marry a man almost twice her age. Some called her a gold digger. Still do. While many called it a moment of insanity.

Their son mostly flew under the radar. His name is Doh Kyungsoo. He is in his mid-twenties. And he’s being trained to be his father’s successor. He has a regimented daily routine. There are hardly any photographs of him in the public domain. Except the ones from the National Day parades. In the pictures, he's always sat next to his father. Dressed in the same black generals uniform, minus the maroon stars, his expressions unreadable. That was all there was to know about him.

You heard footsteps approach from behind, heading towards the kitchen, as you sat straightening the table covers and mats. You didn't bother to turn around. Dinnertime wasn't for another hour at least. It must be your partner making useless trips from the kitchen. Probably trying to get rid of her nickname by overcompensating. The thought filled you with rage. Half of the population was left to starve in detention centres and here you were, along with a small army of people, fussing over a dinner for three.

"Good evening, Imo! Mmm....smells delicious as always"

You heard a gentle but masculine voice coming from the kitchen. The kitchen staff was all women and none of the soldiers or guards were allowed to visit.

"Kyungsooya!", you overheard the head chef squeak, "where were you all this week? Promise you won't disappear on me like that again! I've been so worried! Imo has been cooking all of your favourite dishes! Oh my God, son....you look so frail! You haven't been eating well, have you? You have to fill up on all that I've cooked today, okay?"

Kyungsoo merely chuckled affectionately over the head chefs fretting.

Her sugary sweet tone towards a dictator's son made you want to gag.

You realized that you'd already started off on the wrong foot. And now you'd broken another unspoken rule by not greeting him when he walked past you. You rushed inside the kitchen just so that you could make amends.....it was your turn to overcompensate.

You hurried to the kitchen, stole a quick glance at Kyungsoo, not meeting his eyes and bowed down almost in reverence. To your utter surprise, he bowed back!

He seemed nothing like the man you've been seeing in the newspapers or the State controlled news channels all these years. His otherwise shrewd and stoic expressions looked much softer sans the uniform and the glaring spotlight of manufactured story-tellers. The thick round glasses gracing his face made him seem like the friendliest person to ever exist.

If this was an act, he was pulling it off with immense conviction.

You pretended to do something around the kitchen, picked up a few rag cloths and walked out. And all the while you felt Kyungsoo's eyes lingering on you.

***

The head-chef had a small garden for everyday herbs she used in the kitchen. Every morning you were supposed to water the plants and make sure they didn't die before you did.

"Morning, Princess!"

You recognized the owner of this voice and groaned internally.

You stood up only to bow down to him, "Good morning, Soldier Byun"

"It's Baekhyun for you", he said with a cheeky grin.

A small smile was all you could manage in response.

"You should come see my garden sometime", he said excitedly.

"You keep a garden?", a quizzical smile spread across your face. You just wanted to get this conversation over with. But didn't want to seem disinterested.

"Yes, but it might be a bit too.....bit too refined for your taste. Anyway, I have a question for you. Do you know what's the most important thing big mansions like these have?"

"A good staff to run the place smoothly", you said almost immediately regretting it.

He chuckled, "Correct, but the answer I was looking for is trapdoors"

Your face fell. Whatever his plan, you didn't want to partake in it.

"And there's one right underneath your bed", he thrust a small locked black box in your dirty hands.

He was now dangerously close to you, his voice down to a whisper "A little something from my garden, and I want you to hide this there"

"What...what happened to the girl who worked here before.... before me", you blurted out.

"I killed her", his nonchalant reply disturbed you. Also made you wonder whether this was some kind of a distasteful joke.

"But you have nothing to worry about, Princess. As long as you do exactly as I say"

A look of pure dread clouded your face.

He let out a small laugh and smirked, "Don't worry about it too much. Just follow my lead"

[toonstarterz]

BECAUSE I’M NOT POPULAR, I’LL READ WATAMOTE: CHAPTER #163

Ah, summer. The season of no school, bright skies, pools, barbeques, and brief teenage romance.

Okay, so it’s not quite summer vacation yet. But nonetheless, the new season gives way for all sorts of fun shenanigans. None of it ever really enters “drama” territory (as dramatic as this series can be, that is), but as Tomoko’s last year of high school nears the halfway point, we discover that there’s still quite a bit we don’t know about our cast of knuckleheads.  

Chapter 163: Because I’m Not Popular, It’s Summer

I think it can be inferred that Tomoko is not a morning person, is she?

I think it can also be inferred that the once-aspiring NEET Tomoko is not a fan of hot weather. Better soak up that Vitamin D, girl.

Parasol Lady Asuka would like to battle!

Are parasols more prominent in Eastern culture? They’re not too terribly common where I’m from, but I imagine that may be a result of Japan having more of an aversion towards anything that would result in darker skin. Though I can also see it as a sort of fashion opportunity as well.

I believe those were umbrellas you used, Tomoko. But semantics aside, It’s pretty neat to see that Tomoko has finally reached that stage in her life where she can recognize her cringy chuunibyou phase. Long live those days of failing miserably at being a cool anime character.

Remember when Tomoko used to slut-shame the girls in her class? I detect a hint of hypocrisy there...

Gyaru!Asuka has already exploded on the imageboards, I guarantee it.

A part of me wonders why Tomoko grouped Kii-chan and Yuri specifically. They don’t have similar personalities or anything, but I see two possible reasons for it. One, Kii-chan and Yuri both got that mild-mannered, “exotic” look going on. But also, it may who Tomoko subconsciously believes she’ll see the most of over the summer.

We’ll, I mean...yeah. They would. It probably doesn’t help that Tomoko, with her lion’s mane, gives the impression of someone too physically active to care much about grooming. But as much as Tomoko derides the possibility of looking like a “sweaty day laborer”, I can’t deny that it’s not a bad look on her.  

The reason for that should be dead obvious by now.

The thing that amuses me is that Tomoko had no basis to start insinuating that Yuri’s a pervert. She just did, and has latched on to the idea ever since. While no doubt annoying for Yuri (even if it’s true), it’s kind of sweet if you see it as Tomoko wanting to have a shared interest with her.

I’m sure that compared to your freckled, “crazy lesbo” best friend, it isn’t. 

It’s funny how Nemo used to give off an air of someone who’s sexually acknowledgeable (at least to me) by virtue of being semi-popular. Now that we know’s she’s relatively pure, Tomoko will never let her live it down.  

Komiyama really is the most two-dimensional character in the series. And you know what?

It works.

In the education industry, we call it the “Perv Curve”.

Komiyama: Self-explanatory.

Hatsushiba: Anatomically-correct BDSM art must have originated from somewhere.

Katou: Yet even more evidence for the almost-openly perverted girl who casually says “vagina”.

Mako: ...wait, what?  

I’m so used to perfect scores being a badge of honor in Japanese media that it through me for a loop to see it suggested as anything else. Perhaps it’s an issue similar to Home Ec in that it’s not seen as educationally significant and only those really invested in the subject would master it. Either way, how lewd. 

Going back to Mako, I am genuinely shocked. Could Yuri’s oh-so-sweet bestie actually have a dirty side? Just when you think you know a gal! Naturally, she has just enough to shame to be embarrassed when its brought up, and I’m not ready to call out Mako as a pervert just yet. At least she has Yoshida to pat her on the back (ironic given the delinquent is now officially the purest one of the Kyoto Group).  

My Pokémon-obsessed mind can only see them as the Haramaku Elite Four, which, given the segment’s title, is highly unoriginal of me.

I’m 97% sure that Kawagoe’s that old geezer teacher we saw during Tomoko’s suspension. We even got that “strict about textbooks” continuity from way back when Tomoko forgot hers. 

All signs point to Minami’s-Faceless-“Friend”-#1 recognizing someone, most likely Yuri, during this little intersection. Curse you, Nico Tanigawa and your wonderful vagueness.

Nope. It’s not gonna work. Nuh-uh. Absolutely not. You aren’t going to make me feel sympathetic for Minami.

...

...

drat.

All that speculation has finally paid off cause we now have confirmation that Minami did(does?) in fact backbite Tomoko and Yuri. Thank goodness for Tomoko’s mental health that she never knew. But Minami’s got some nerve teasing Yuri when she’s actively Mako’s friend. Even more disturbing if Mako doesn’t realize it...

Between that tiny smile in the last panel and her wanting to tease, it’s pretty much certain that Minami’s-Faceless-“Friend”-#1 is not a pleasant person.

Birds of the same feather truly do flock together.

Okay, I cracked. Minami’s too adorable (and pitiful) right here.

I find it telling that even Minami’s “friends” know she’s a jerk. But if what goes around comes around, then Minami’s-Faceless-“Friend”-#1 might not realize she’s a jerk, too. Are most terrible people aware of their own terribleness? 

I don’t want to correlate jerkiness with irresponsibility but...here we are.

Man, that’s playing dirty. Suzuki is more than likely not that close to Minami, but any decent person wouldn’t just outright say “no” to a request like that. Of course, playing up her own supposed likeability through other’s basic kindness is Minami’s M.O.     

In manga and anime, that sort of haughtiness from cute, snaggletoothed girls is adorable in that “sigh, there she goes again” way.

In reality, it’s just annoying as shit. 

At first glance, Kayo’s just making an off-handed question, but my nit-picking mind says otherwise. I’m not sure how insistently heterosexual/romantic Japanese culture is towards male-female relationships, but would most teens show interest in a friend’s opposite gendered sibling? If say, Miyazaki had a little brother, would Kayo even ask Ucchi a question like that?

My theory is that Kayo is subtly trying to ascertain Ucchi’s sexuality. If the idea of Ucchi being gay for Tomoko is already planted in her head, then Kayo is using Tomoki as a “male version” for comparison. Ucchi’s already admitted to the Kuroki siblings being physically similar, so supposedly if she feels nothing towards Tomoki, then it’s Tomoko’s “femaleness” that attracts her.

This wouldn’t even be half as funny if Ucchi didn’t have an emoji face.

If only Komiyama could see this now...

Or, you know what? Maybe gender is irrelevant and Ucchi just has an indiscriminate gross fetish. 

Nemo’s ultra-realistic thoughts behind her cheery demeanor are always welcome.

For all those times that Tomoko pokes fun at Nemo for wanting to live out a slice-of-life school anime, she’s not exactly innocent either. More and more we see Tomoko trying to invoke those cliche moments, usually with little fear. It’s a rather far cry from when she’d try to pull anime tropes as a means to an end. Now she tries them out just for the sake of having fun, which is much more endearing.

In this particular trope, however, normally you’d have a guy and girl stuck inside, where they’d ultimately become more attracted to each other through the suspension bridge effect.

Of course, that’s assuming the boy and girl aren’t already together. If they are, then storage rooms are usually used as a hiding place to make out, but that obviously would never hap–

Oh.

FUCK.

If memory serves, this is the same couple who were flirting(?) back in the head patting chapter. A whole lot must of went down since then, eh?

Murphy’s Law.

It’s been quite a long time since we��ve had one of Tomoko’s infamous freakouts. And they say this series lost its roots.

A part of me wants to think that Nemo hears Tomoko but is pretending not to just to screw with her, but I don’t think she’d be that cruel. Even if it would be hilarious.

Just how far is your “it”, Tomoko. Making out? Groping? HANDHOLDING!?

What am I saying–she’s totally thinking sex.

It’s interesting to note that Tomoko just assumes that Yuri and Mako have never had a boyfriend. Sure, it may be implied given we’ve never seen them have this discussion before (that we know of), but it’s still pretty presumptuous on Tomoko’s part. My only reasoning is that Tomoko is trying to ally themselves over supposed “undesirability” like many self-deprecating friends do.

First off, I am not at all surprised given Mako’s personality.

What does surprise me is how totally betrayed Mako sounds. I can only assume that it’s a part of Mako’s past that she’d rather not reveal. While I don’t think Yuri meant any harm bringing it up, that kind of miscommunication goes to show that even though they’re best friends, Yuri and Mako don’t always see eye to eye.

Sounds like dating to me. Or rather, sounds like dating between high schoolers. At the risk of sounding like an old-ass millennial, dating between high schoolers rarely last, despite what shoujo manga suggests. Casual dating is exactly that–casual. They’re attracted to the novelty of dating, but once that initial thrill wears off, cue the breakup. 

Side note, I just realized that Yuri loosens up her tie. I love small details like that.

Perhaps I’m reading too much into it, but Mako seems to be suggesting that girls, on the other hand, aren’t as desperate to get boyfriends. While that isn’t necessarily true, I do see that answer as mostly a convenient excuse for Mako, who may simply just not want to be in a relationship right now.

I can see the “Mako is straight/Mako is lesbian(for Yoshida)” War right now...   

Boy, it’s been a while since Tomoko has contemplated her own popularity, let alone try to be more popular. I guess it goes to show that even though Tomoko is more or less satisfied with her current status, she still sees herself below the bar of what constitutes “popular”. She does perpetuate feminine “purity” as an indicator of her societal value, but I’ll let it be–reality is not so kind, after all. 

One of the more prominent questions that Yuri’s fanboys have is “How come someone as pretty as Yuri isn’t more popular with the boys?”

Well, there you go.

In terms of looks, I never thought Yuri was that unattractive in-universe. She’s in that small niche of “plain and generic, but just cute enough that fans feel they could feasibly ask out a girl like her in real life”. So while it's reasonable to think that at least one person would show interest in her, it's Yuri’s personality that ends up putting them off. She probably isn’t ready to commit to the effort of dating and being someone’s girlfriend. nor does Yuri seem that interested to begin with if her texting habits are anything to go by.

I can’t for the life of me remember the name for it, but I believe that there’s this belief in Japan that says everybody (mostly boys) has that brief period in their life where they’re suddenly attractive and people want to date them. I imagine that Tomoko may actually reach that time in life sooner than she thinks.

PTSD TRIGGERED!! For the readers, I mean.

For real, though. What a comeback. Who would have thought that Kosaka, that guy who was introduced in Chapter FIVE would make his grand return? Normally, making a reappearance this late in the game would feel like an asspull, but it works because he was never meant to drastically affect Tomoko’s growth. He was just the spark, the first hint to show that people could actually befriend her. And for that, we salute you, Umbrella Dude.

It’s been, what? About two years since they last spoke, and he still remembers her? Impressive! Then again, I don’t think you're about to forget the girl who gave you a dogeza.

Because I’m Not Popular, I’ll Tell Lies.

These moments where Tomoko is unabashedly a blushing schoolgirl are really precious because she isn’t “perfectly ditzy in that moe sort of way” about it. She gets riled up, sweaty, and unpleasant to watch. Which, ironically, is even more adorable just for how genuine it is.

Yeah, I’m sure the original said “dogeza”, but since there isn’t really a good English equivalent for it, I think “genuflect”...is still an odd choice.

Yuri, who always has her “Tomoko’s BS” meter on high, knows that Tomoko is screwing around when she calls it her “first”. Poor Mako, a now confirmed pervert who still thinks Tomoko is so amazing, thought the girl had popped the guy’s cherry. 

Friendly reminder that eventful summers are not necessarily pleasant summers. Though they could be with the right perspective...

So...Yuri vs. Kii-chan Death Battle when?

The most beautiful part about this ending is that there’s no second-guessing. No “maybe I won’t be lonely” or “I wonder if I’ll be lonely”. Just a very affirmative “I won’t be lonely”. Tomoko fully expects that she’ll be spending time with her friends this summer, and that confidence is more than I ever would’ve expected from Tomoko in previous years.

With summer vacation just over the horizon (don’t want to jump the gun), a medley of both happy, unhappy and delightfully awkward moments are sure to transpire. Just about the only thing Tomoko can plan is the unplanned, and I’ll be sure to get a front-row seat to watch it all.

[miracutrashcan]

Only the irredeemable should tremble (Part 2/3)

Hey everyone! I forgot to post the update onto my Tumblr so have part 2 and 3 in one single post. If you have any questions about what’s going on feel free to message me and I’ll see how much  I can answer without giving too much about the plot away. Anyways... bug out!

Part: [1] [HERE] [3]

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She could protect the innocent and punish those who take advantage of others and not learn from their mistakes. Finally registering how tightly someone was holding her hand, Marinette pushed the hand away from her. "You are right Hawk Moth, I accept on one condition. You uphold your end of the deal, I get to personally judge you for your sins once I retrieve the Miraculous." After her last word is said a dark miasma covered the troubled girl, a pained cry could be heard in the distance and then silence.

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Once the miasma disappeared Marinette was replaced with Princess Justice. Dressed in a pure red, short-sleeved, high-low dress ending just above her knees in the front and midway down her caves on the back. Covering her chest was a black breastplate with golden detailing all throughout the area before fanning out ever so slightly. Her gloves were opposite colors her left hand was covered in a black, light metal gauntlet with golden accents while her right hand was covered in a light golden gauntlet with black metallic accents. Her knee-high boots the same color as her breastplate. Her eyes were covered in a purple cloth that trailed behind her, stopping midway down her back. Strapped across her chest was her bag, gone were the pink and white polka dots with her custom embroidered pattern. Instead, the purse was pure black with five red spots on it, a rather strange coloration given the rest of the costume. Finally, her hair was let loose, flowing gently in the breeze — the ensemble completed by a single golden tiara on her head.

Attention shifted from the unseen voice to those remaining within the locker room. A few students left during the conversation with Hawk Moth. 'No matter, they will receive their judgment in due time.' Focusing on those who are left. Princess Justice noticed that Adrien was sprawled across the floor, a strange sight to behold. "Freeze." A single command ushered from her lips. Everyone within earshot swiftly obeyed, even Lila. Magic was not the source of the power behind her word. Rather there was an aura present around her that screamed danger to any who dared to disobey her command. Satisfied that no one was going anywhere, she made her way over to the semiconscious boy and checked immediately for a pulse. He appeared to be in pain, yet Princess Justice could not fathom any reason why he should be suffering like this. She could get a few reactions from him but not enough to satisfy her concern for the model. Not to mention, she passed no judgment on him, and her transformation should not have caused this. Without moving from Adrien's side, Princess Justice spoke once more. "Nino, Chloe, you may step forward."

Since the moment that she watched Adrien collapse to the ground, she was desperate to check upon him. However, Princess Justice had other plans in mind that prevented Chloe from running over to her childhood best friend. After the words were spoken to release her from the invisible bindings, Chloe felt like she could safely move her body. The experience was strange, even by Akuma standards. She's been caught in the crossfire between Ladybug, Chat Noir and Akumas on more than one occurrence, and she's never felt a presence such as Princess Justice. She could tell that it was not magic keeping her in place, instead the authority and power behind the Akuma's words. It almost reminded her of - no, that was impossible. The mere idea that Ladybug could be Akumatized made Chloe want to laugh. However, she could not afford to spend time on speculation, there was a full-blown Akuma present, and she did not have Polen nor her Miraculous to help her. Her only saving grace is that Marine- Princess Justice does not seem to be mad at her... right? Following the Akuma's orders, she glanced to where Nino was, a glance of uncertainty was shared among them. Chloe took a deep breath and reminded herself who she is. She was Queen Bee, and she needed to start acting like it.

"Chloe, you were able to see through the carefully woven lies, and you have not only acknowledged your past sins and faults, but I have also seen you actively attempt to remedy and improve yourself. For that, I commend your efforts and pardon all crimes you have committed thus far. Keep this in mind, if you start to revert to your old ways. I shall not extend this kind of mercy again. Understand?" Princess Justice kept her back towards Chloe as she continued to make sure that Adrien was safe. Reaching into her bag, she pulled out a vial of clear liquid and rolled it within her hand.

Chloe listened to each word intently and with bated breath. Princess Justice powers were unknown to everyone within the room, so Chloe decided that her best option was to play it safe and remain on the Akuma's good side. Once the Akuma appeared to be finished with her speech, she let out the breath she held this entire time. "Thank you for the kind words, Princess Justice." It was mildly irritating being forced to be so formal with Marinette, but as long as she stays on her good side, she may learn important information that she could relay to Ladybug. The vial that she held had Chloe feeling on edge but not enough to cause her to leap into the situation irrationally.

"Nino, you also learned to question statements when they seem far too good to be true. While you are not nearly as vocal as some other people, you attempt to seek the truth in your way. For that, I also pardon you from any crimes you have made thus far. Just like Chloe, if you change your ways and start following a darker path, then there will be no second chances." With her warning shared, Princess Justice finally stood up, away from Adrien and turned to the two students. "I want you to take Adrien to the infirmary. Tell the nurse that he collapsed in the locker room and the moment he seems to be in any more pain to call an ambulance and have him transferred to the nearest hospital. You are free to tell anyone about me, and you are also free to leave provided that you see to it that Adrien gets the proper medical treatment first." She opened her bag once more and returned the vial inside. The bag was angled in such a way that no one could see what was inside.

A single nod came from both students as they walked around the Akuma and gently lifted Adrien. He was heavier than he initially appeared, but not enough to cause too many problems between the two students. After an awkward first few steps, Nino and Chloe made it out of the locker room safely. Once the door was shut, Chloe was the first one to speak up. "Her Akuma is definitely in her purse. Now the problem is, how do we get Ladybug and Chat Noir's attention so they can come to save everyone."

"I don't know dudette, normally Alya makes a post on the Ladyblog about it, or the Akuma makes a big enough scene that the reporters flock to the attack site. I dunno if either one of those options are going to help us now." A quiet but frustrated sigh escaped the DJ's lips. The feeling of seeing one of his friends Akumatized in front of him caused him to feel sick to his stomach. However, he knew better than to dwell on the fact. Just because Princess Justice was active, who knows when Scarlet Moth will make a reappearance. Heroes Day was traumatizing enough. He was not quite sure if he could handle a repeat event.

"Princess Justice is a dangerous Akuma. You could feel the sense of dread if you even thought about disobeying her. I think that Ladybug is going to need everyone to take down her. Which means I need to be close by so Ladybug can give me my Miraculous." She glanced towards Adrien for a few moments, and her expression softened. "If the school becomes a battleground, I don't think that taking Adrien to the nurse would be safe. Especially if he doesn't wake up soon."

"So call an ambulance? Maybe the paramedics can do something to let Ladybug and Chat Noir know that Hawk Moth is at it again." Nino suggested as he pulled out his phone to show Chloe. It was weird for him to be working with Chloe like this, but Nino could not find it within himself to complain. It seems like being Queen Bee did help Chloe mellow out. It could be the current crisis kicking her into her 'hero' mode, but if he could see Chloe acting like this more often the school would be much better off.

"I know if I call daddy, he'll have the news all over this... but he might also cause the police to show up at the school and who knows how Princess Justice will react. Let's start with the Paramedics and see where we can go from there." One silent nod from Nino later, the duo were headed away from the nurse's office and towards the front door. Nino was on the phone with the paramedics to arrange for an ambulance to show up and take Adrien out of the danger zone.

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Now that Adrien was safely out of the way, there were three more people that Princess Justice needed to address first before she could properly start her mission. Her parents have done nothing wrong to her nor anyone else that has not warranted their rage towards. It was by sheer chance they were present when she finally fell prey to Hawk Moth. Alya, on the other hand, she had her share of issues that needed to be addressed. Ultimately, Princess Justice determined that Alya did indeed work on improving her fact-checking and understood now that not everything people say is the truth. She turned to face her parents first as they were the people she wanted to get out of this room the quickest.

"Tom and Sabine, you have done nothing but try and support your daughter's innocence this entire time not only that you have gone out of your way countless times to help those who need your aid regardless of their situation. For that, I commend you for your efforts, and you may leave. I do not wish for you to see the judgments that are to come." Up until now, Princess Justice's lips remained in a straight line upon an emotionless face. The moment she started talking about her parents, there was a sense of pride coming from the Akuma's lips.

An uncertain gaze was shared between Tom and Sabine. They both knew the dangers that Akumas presented, yet at the same time, this was their daughter they were dealing with. How could they abandon her while she was suffering like this? Tom took a careful step forward. He wanted to hug his daughter and tell her that whatever caused this Akumatization will be all right. Before he could open his mouth, he noticed a small arm shoot out in front of him. Sabine's entire expression and body language changed from mere moments ago. "We understand Princess Justice. Thank you for the kind words, and we will be leaving now." With those words said, Sabine took the lead and guided a dumbfounded Tom out of the room.

Now that her parents were out of the room, Princess Justice was left with just one more. Alya. "Alya, you've been tricked by the lies before and held them to the highest standards of truth without even checking the validity yourself. You claim yourself a journalist, yet there are times where you needlessly throw yourself into danger, causing the situation to grow worse for everyone involved. Yet you are starting to learn from your mistakes, and for that, I pardon you for the sins you -"

"No! I do not want a pardon. I know I've done bad things to you, and I've been an even worse friend. I've been trying to improve so I don't make the same mistakes again. Despite this, I feel like I should be properly judged by you, Princess Justice." While this time she may have stood by Marinette's side without a second thought, Alya knew that she's also abandoned her best friend for Lila and more than one occasion. Despite being blinded by Lila's supposed connections, and assuming Marinette was simply jealous. Marinette never turned her back on her. Marinette has done so much for her, it seemed like it was only fair that she do something for Marinette. "I am not leaving your side, Princess Justice. I've abandoned you once before. I am not going to do it again." While this may have been one of the stupidest things Alya could do, her heart knew this is the right decision.

"Very well, Alya, you shall consider yourself among those waiting to be judged." If someone listened close enough, they could tell there was a hint of pride within the Akuma's voice as she spoke. The smile that was once on her face disappeared as she focused on the task at hand. "Now that everything is taken care of, it is time to begin the judging." Once she was done here, she would go find Chat Noir and ultimately bring Hawk Moth to his knees.

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Because the distance between the school and bakery was so short, the duo walked home in silence. Tom was still in shock over Sabine's sudden change in attitude while Sabine was focused on a plan that would get her daughter back. She walked into the house via the side door, with no intent to go inside the bakery. Ideally, Tom would accept what happened and go down to the bakery to get out whatever emotions he was feeling, allowing Sabine to take care of business uninterrupted. Once the duo entered the main living area, Tom could not hold back his raging thoughts any longer. "Sabine, dear... why did you leave our daughter behind? She's suffering if she fell to Hawk Moth's words! We should be at the school with her trying to help her come back to her senses." He could tell that his wife had some sort of plan the way that she talked and moved, but he could not figure it out. If anything, he was stunned that she was so quick to leave.

Finally facing her husband, Sabine let out a quiet sigh. There are a few things she's been keeping a secret from him ever since they started dating. She never saw a reason to talk to him about it before, that chapter of her life was completed, and she believed that her chances of going back to that life were slim. Clearly, fate said. Otherwise, she finally turned to face him a determined look settled on her face. "I'll explain as we walk, I need to find something very important and quickly. If we want any chances of seeing our daughter back the way she was, I need to work fast." Sabine turned back around and went straight for their bedroom, with more questions than answers Tom reluctantly followed after his wife.

Once in the bedroom, Tom opted to take a seat on the bed he watched his wife dig frantically through the dresser drawers, not sure what she was searching for. "So Marinette just got Akumatized... situations like this happen all of the time since Hawk Moth appeared in Paris. What makes this time so dire?"

Sabine did not expect Tom to notice the signs, partially because this entire time she's been running interference for Marinette. It seems like even after all this time, certain habits die hard. "Because once Hawk Moth realizes who exactly he Akumatized, he will not let her go without a fight. So there is only one person I know who might have a solution to this mess that we found ourselves in. Assuming I can find this little gift, he gave me all those years ago." Sabine explained digging through the drawers looking for a small box. She had hidden it away simply out of respect, despite believing that no one will ever put the dots together. It's been about ten years since she last saw that box and it was getting on her nerves that she forgot where she hid it. After a few more minutes of digging around a triumphant cry came from her lips as she found the box she was looking for. Opening the box, she saw that inside was a single slip of paper. After setting the box down on the drawer, she pulled out her phone.

"Who are you calling at a time like this?" The box that Sabine pulled out seemed familiar. He knows that he's seen it somewhere before, but could not place where.

"An old, grumpy, turtle who just so happens to owe me a favor." A cocky smile crept slowly onto her face as she heard the phone dial before an hearing a familiar voice utter hello on the other line. "Good you picked up. Tell me where you are, and I'll be right over. Hawk Moth does not Akumatize my daughter and get away with it if I have anything to say about it." It turns out that Master Fu was right; once your life becomes intertwined with the Miraculous, there never is a way to escape fully.

"So it is true, she did fall prey to Hawk Moth... this is troubling news indeed. Did you see where the Akuma is hiding?" Master Fu sighed and shook his head in disappointment. He knew that Marinette mentioned to him a few times about how her situation was starting to grow worse. Stress is a temperamental emotion; at specific points, being stressed does wonder for productivity and motivation. However, when stress levels get too high, that is where the problems typically begin. He gently bit his lip as he looked over at the school, he would have to do this quickly and quietly if he wanted any chance to avoid a repeat. He's already put Sabine through enough pain by failing her once, and he would not make the same mistake again.

"Her purse. I guess that the Akuma was sitting there just waiting for her to get angry, neither one of them had time to prepare." Sabine explained as she went towards the bed and pulled out a locked wooden box. On the top of the box held a specialized type of engraving pattern, a pattern that only a select few would recognize. She muttered a few words under her breath, and the box suddenly opened, revealing a large assortment of herbs, vials, and liquids within. She knew that Tom was still in the room, and under normal circumstances, she would have waited until Tom left to create her signature brews. However, time was not on her side today. Nesting the phone in-between her ear and shoulder, Sabine got started by spreading all of the packaged herbs out along the floor. "At least it didn't go for the earrings."

"Honey, what are you planning to do?" Concern was spread across Tom's face. For a few moments, he could not recognize his wife with how suddenly her personality changed and how she spoke. The box she retrieved from under the bed, he's seen that patterning before within Marinette's room. While the box Marinette possessed was not nearly the same size as Sabine had, clearly there were a few things that he was not told about. He feared for his daughter's safety, and he feared for whatever his wife was planning. There was a glint in Sabine's eyes, one that he's never seen before. There was a sense of danger that he never felt from his wife before this. Not when his father was stubborn about his baking style, nor when they were caught in the middle of an Akuma attack. The best way he could describe this feeling was like a cornered queen trying to protect her kits.

Sabine looked up from the mixture she was creating to where Tom was sitting. A deep frown was on her face as she thought about telling him the truth. There was a strong chance that if anything went wrong today, she would not be coming back. The thought of leaving him alone to tend to Marinette shook her to the core. However, the idea of leaving her daughter alone, waiting for the other heroes of Paris to figure out a plan to purify her? Unacceptable. "I'm getting ready to fight to get our daughter back. I'll tell you the entire story once she's safely home, alright?" She felt terrible over how much she was lying to Tom right now. However, she wanted to prevent him from worrying any more than he already is. She needed to focus in on her preparation if she wished to have the highest chance of success.

"I know what you intend to do and I am going to tell you that this is a terrible idea Sab-" Master Fu attempted to talk her out of this insane plan. While her experience in battle would shift the favor towards them, he was far too concerned about the risks she was taking. He knew that there was an element of risk for anyone he chooses to get involved with this particular Akuma. Sabine's particular risk was tripled in this situation.

"I know the risks going into this. But this is my daughter we are talking about. You wouldn't understand how painful it is to watch you child get Akumatized right in front of your face. Besides, you know as well as I do this situation I know the most about. So just tell me where to go. I am not taking no for an answer." Sabine looked at the paste she created and sighed, outside of meeting Tom luck was never on her side. However, she had to trust in her skills that this paste would work well enough to get the job done. Taking a small piece of parchment paper, she carefully bundled up the paste into a square. The longer she waits to take this, then the longer she has before problems start arising. Setting the bundle aside, she picked up a vial of clear liquid and swished the contents inside around. She glanced between her arms and the vial and shook her head. She was going to need all the help she could get today, which meant being at the top of her game. She twisted the lid off and consumed the entire vial in one single gulp.

"I will let you help only if you swear you've been taking your medicine on a daily basis." At least if she's been keeping up with her medical regiment, then some of the most significant risks were mitigated at least somewhat. He has not talked to her in-depth about her condition in at least five years, so he had to trust her that she kept up with the treatment. If she was not maintaining her program, then there would be no way she could adequately fight against Marinette. In that situation, Sabine was just begging to be lost, just like - no. He would not allow himself to go down that line of thinking right now. "How are your marks?"

"I have, every single morning for the last twenty-two years. I made a double-strength dose just for this mission." Sabine replied calmly without missing a beat. She was faithful to her treatment, especially since it meant that Marinette would avoid any of the side-effects from their mistake all those years ago. Though at the mention of her marks, Sabine glanced down at her arms. She knew Tom, Marinette, nor anyone besides a select few groups could see what appeared to be intricate black, cat-themed tribal tattoos dancing across her body. Right now the color was relatively light, however, by the time she met up with Master Fu that would be a different story. "Fairly light, and there are times where I forget that they are even here." Another lie, but she needed his approval if she wanted a fighting chance to try and talk to her daughter.

An audible sigh came from the Guardian's lips, and he's heard rumors of the lengths parents would go for their children. Clearly, nothing besides restraining Sabine will get her to back down. "You are right. But the moment you start to notice anything I want you to stop, understood? You better take as many safety precautions as you can..." The last thing he wanted was to rescue Marinette just for her to find out what happened to her mother. If that happened, well... he was reasonably sure he would need to find a new Ladybug.

"Yes, I understand."

"I see that there is no changing your mind on this, so meet us at the bottom of the Arc De Triomphe in half an hour. I'll fetch you then." Master Fu wanted to continue with his lecture but could not find the energy to finish. Hanging up shortly, he shot a concerned glance towards Wayzz. The Turtle Kwami could only nod his head in sympathy for his decision. If there was anyone in this world who truly knew what the stakes were right now, it was Sabine. Maybe luck will be on their side, and Hawk Moth will not realize who he has, and everything will be fine until then, Master Fu needed to get reinforcements, and he needed them now. He was old, and transforming was painful for his back. Yet, if Sabine could find the strength needed to come back, he could manage one more transformation. He took off the Turtle Miraculous and safely stored it away, opting for the Horse Miraculous for the mission ahead. "Kaalki, Full Gallop!" Being transformed with Kaalki was strange for him, but this was neither the time nor place to dwell on that, he had heroes to recruit.

With the conversation done, Sabine packed up the box, careful to leave the paste out and returned the box to underneath the bed. She finally made full eye contact with her husband, as she reached for the square and stood up. She needed to change her clothes before she left, her arms were too exposed, and Master Fu would catch her lie immediately. Placing the square on top of the dresser, she switched into a long-sleeved shirt and jeans to match. She had to assume that there was still a chance that he would still say no to her, meaning she needed clothes she could quickly move in just in case. Everything was moving so fast; the only way Sabine was keeping up was through experience. Though for someone like Tom, who had no experience here, it was no surprise that confusion was the only emotion visible on his face. Walking over to him, she wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed him tightly. "I need you to stay here love, and it is too risky for you to go out there. I don't know what Marinette is capable of while she's Akumatized so I would feel better if I knew you were here where it is safe. I doubt she will have any reason to attack the bakery."

Returning the hug, Tom tensed up once he heard the request. He had no idea what paste Sabine made, nor what the conversation she had was about and coupled that with her ominous request, he felt like something terrible was about to happen. "Promise me that you will come back safely?" He pushed her away just enough to see directly into her eyes. He needed to have this confirmation from her for his sanity. Otherwise, he'll drive himself to insanity, thinking about what kind of dangers his wife and daughter could be in.

A forced smile came onto Sabine's lips, and she knew in her heart that she could not truthfully agree to his request. The hidden energy dancing across her skin was a prominent reminder about what kind of limitations she has to deal with. She slowly nodded her head in agreement regardless. "I promise I'll come home with our daughter safely." With what could be her final lie uttered she pulled away from Tom and left him alone in the bedroom. She needed to make her way over to the Arc De Triomphe as quickly as humanly possible. "I'll save you, Mari, just please keep fighting. I lost a bug once, and I'm not going to let it happen again."