#but thats a whole nother discussion

[ghostlyruinstrash]

currently going insane over how much this scene reminds me of that voxtagram post

vox goes to see val who's having another temper tantrum and throws a drink at him, why does that sound familiar?

oh yeah.

like ofc their relationship has changed a lot since voxtagram, but most of that is definitely due to changes to vox' character rather than the way val treats him.

val still seems perfectly happy to hit and or throw things at vox even when it's not him val is angry at, the only real change here is that vox has gotten better at dodging.

which makes me wonder whether the relationship we saw on voxtagram (something that ofc is no longer canon) has really retconned or if it will just become a backstory for them, what their relationship was like before vox got as good as he is at dealing with val's shit. probably not but it would be interesting.

[astralnymphh]

I just got on and saw what’s been happening and bro…I’m glad people are talking about it. Mostly about the smut, inclusivity, Palestine, and the fetishization of trans people.

Reading smut is so underwhelming like it seems like that’s all what people write these days. Like I need ANGST! I need to CRY! I need SLOW BURN AND PLOT….

And to be honest, I personally feel like some writers purposely list the reader’s physical descriptions as being white… like damn you know multiple people are going to come across your shit. I would get annoyed asf when I see something like “she touched your soft pale flushed skin” BITCH- 💀 don’t piss me off 😒🦶🏽

I won’t speak too in depth about the fetishization of trans people in fanfics because I’m not trans and I don’t want to say anything inaccurate BUT I will say it’s so disturbing and off putting seeing shit like that and seeing how people are sexualizing trans people more than treating them like regular humans…I also came across that ‘femcel’ series and🧍🏽‍♀️erm… no.

I appreciate the account who made the post discussing how the word trans and the f word are completely different. I didn’t even know that word was derogatory and it shocked me... I hope that account takes it down and they educate themselves or something cause 🙁👎🏽

yes pook YES smut can be underwhelming and so overdone. we definitely need more angst/fluff.. or just PLOT in general. no, i'm not saying don't write it at all (incase anons twist my words, cause.. they're good at that.) i'm just saying that it would be nice to see some fully fleshed out pieces with emotion and storytelling. i have something in the works though, that encompasses all genres (fluff/smut/angst) so, there's that!

people will so clearly write the whole petite pale white girl bs like "ur delicate small hand" or the fuckass "doey eyed and blushing cherub red" like NEVER portray reader so specifically unless you're going to specify it in the cw!!!! do whatever for ellie's white ass but for the love of gods and goddess BE AWARE OF READER AS A SPOT TO FILL, NOT AN OC!!!! idk how else to describe what i just said. but. it is said. so it. yeah. that whole delicate small petite thing kinda trickles into writing childlike readers too but. thats a whole nother discussion. no clue if i ever used that phrasing in the past tho i have no bold memories of my writings in detail.

i think people will listen to anybody but trans people who are actively calling it fetishization, like. all the mfs arguing with them say "trans and f💀ta aren't the same!" yeah. they aren't. cause one is like, a genuine, flesh and bone person.. with a whole story.. and feelings.. and experiences.. and one is.. fetishization. how many times do trans people have to repeat that? bet most of the people trying to argue against it aren't even trans.

the whole thing about authors "flooding" the tlou tag with palestine posts is also dumb as fuck. is scrolling a bit too taxing on your poor smut-guzzling thumbs?? ur scrolling over big booty fics, i think you can scroll a little further past those posts if you're really that much of a basement dwelling fuck that's sitting comfortably in their homes while a genocide is happening. out here sobbing cause people are spreading awareness. eat my bum bum booty. ++ also add-on cause we're holding writers accountable for ignoring a strike (different than not knowing at first) but there's also the artists!! they're there too.

anons r gonna come into my inbox abt all this but i'm not even gonna answer like, don't waste your time. im not reading all that. especially coming from an ANON 💀

me when

[terraliensvent]

Hi mod it’s Cass

I am also YOUR number one fan!!! I don’t plan to stay in Terras, just hanging around until I get my art for my trade and then I’m running for the hills basically. The NSFW jokes and the general atmosphere are too much. I’m an adult in a server full of children, and atp given the nonchalance of other members I don’t plan on being in a space that encourages that kind of behavior towards children. I’ll probably make a ticket about it and that’s that, honestly.

I hope you don’t stay any longer than you have to, that place is just a cesspool of toxic positivity. Good luck in there bud 🫡 you’re so much braver than I am. I never really looked at this blog until recently but you seem pretty chill so you’re cool in my book!

post related

omg im having my “senpai noticed me” moment lmao

glad youre taking the initiative to gtfo, it just sucks how that shows more evidence that the terra server is not an environment conducive to critique or serious discussion whatsoever.

the nsfw/suggestive “jokes” have apparently been a continued issue just going based off the stuff i get in my inbox, and mods dont seem to give a fuck since theyre all around 18-20 themselves and dont have the foresight to see how there is true danger in things they think is no big deal.

and actually i wanna elaborate on my issues with mods being so young; when youre a very young “adult” yourself (adult in quotes because imo 18 is only adult in legal terms and most 18-year-olds do NOT have the level of maturity that comes with the title of adult, something amazingly exemplified in the terra server) you kind of blur the lines on minor and adult. what i mean by this is: when youre 18, you tend to think of minors as 16-17 or older teens since thats the stage you were just in, you dont really think about the 13, 14, 15 year olds being as super-young as they are because you were just in high school with some of them. because of this theyll brush more things off as “not a big deal” because, hey, i would make jokes like that with my friends in high school, its not that bad. they dont really realize the different dynamics there are when its online, and just how bad it ACTUALLY is. again, it goes back to that immaturity thing. (theres also something to be said about the way that 17 year olds online are really infantilized while 18 year olds online are treated as just as mature as older adults, AND theres something to be said about the way 18 year olds are constantly pushed into believing theyre more mature especially in art and furry spaces by beginning to create and post NSFW the SECOND they turn 18, but thats a whole nother can of worms)

anyways, maturity rant aside and back to the actual topic of the ask, i appreciate the kindness abt me and my blog :) i plan to stick around in terras because i love watching a trainwreck, but if push comes to shove ill start disconnecting myself from it again.

[quizzically]

i'm so over gender like actually. I am not third wave of being over gender i'm like 88th wave gender neutralhead for my own self. My physical presentation is a little more complicated and while obviously tying into my identity is a whole nother can of worms. and on a basis of pure, like, in my head secretgender what i actually feel inside, i literally could not care about it less and thinking about my gender identity brings me no joy or gratification at all, infact it feels like a roadblock in my head that i hate when people make me reckon with. it's not like i'm repressing something or have a problem cause it's not like i'm trying or wanting to figure it out anymore. i've figured out my gender a thousand times for myself but now it's come to the stage that i have to project it externally

I Just Dont Care

there's nothing that will make you hate the gender binary more than being maverique-adjacent and just wanting zero part of it, not just not wanting to choose but not having to have to choose in the first place. like leslie feinberg said "ill never be a boy or girl as long as thats a question that has to be asked". nothing will make you hate it more than just not wanting to be GENDERED. EVER. STOP HAVING IT BE RELEVANT, KILL IT. i dont want gender markers on profiles or licenses I dont even like being called trans most days it's just like a clinical thing that i pull up in discussions it's like my blood type.

i like being a butch on a pure like my-role-position-in-society level it's like having a job. i like being butch to women and men. i like people thinking im a boy because i was born a girl and its like, i want to just be defiant in any way i can, i like defying expectations. and also i love "boy clothes", more comfy and practical and less revealing on the whole than presenting in "girl clothes", i know thats old headed talk but just to get a message across. I like being chivalrous and acting masculine and proud and standing up for myself but even then not all the time, im kinda a pansy. i know that will never unmake me a butch but you know what i mean. that's literally as far as it goes.

i'm just a person. i'm a human. that is so cliche. but like. humans are incredibly smart animals while we are animals our emotional intelligence is like through the roof 300 times over. We could afford, to not do this. bleh.

gender is so totally important to so many people though. this is not like a global righteous statement for the state of the world its just my ideal. Idk maybe in an ideal world where we never invented the gender binary it wouldn't be such a priority to lots of people to be understood as one thing or another...at all. maybe gender dysphoria is a lot more of a biological thing idk im totally not qualified. U ever see a trans person get their driver license or id changed. crazy stuff it warms your heart it's so nice. bt again a lot of the reason they might want to be one thing or another is because of this...ridiculous, colossal, thousand million year empire or stereotypes, and standards, and ideas and rules that we've made up, for these two little boxes. that we either want to stay in or leave.

[hometownrockstar]

ive been losing weight recently bc of my eating habits n i dont like it i miss being bigger... but i feel like i cant say that bc people will think thats weird, like even in progressive spaces ppl would think i mean it in some kinda fetishistic way but smth that hasnt been examined or discussed that much wrt desiring fat bodies is the moral grey area of attraction n fetishes, esp concerning fat people who identify and engage with that area. at the bottom line harm from fetishizing comes from dehumanization and objectification with no regards for the person, the sole focus being on their body, and this compounds with socially-ingrained shame that people allow to fester within their attraction. but if someone examines this otherization and experiences this attraction to different kinds of bodies outside of the conventionally attractive norm, then i dont find it a problem.

theres a big difference between me liking boobs on other trans men and thinking other fat people are hot because of their size, and only seeing these traits as a shameful, other category from "normal" body types and parts to be attracted to, thus turning attraction into these groups of people into a fetish itself. i also dont think this can be solely limited to people within these groups, though i would personally side-eye thin people in this regard at first, for obvious reasons. and also this makes a murky area where harmful fetshizing could seem indistinguishable from genuine normal attraction to other bodies, which also adds to othering of attraction to "non-normal" people.

anyways thats a whole nother tangent that started from me justifying my own feelings about my own body. i just dont like the change it makes me feel weird in my body bc ive been the same size for as long as ive known n its the body i got used to and loved and appreciated, so ya... also i like to stim with parts of my body -w- #boobs

[lissandela]

It’s 3:30 am and I’m awake as per usual because I never sleep, but if anyone reads this, it might be far later. It’s always after midnight where the introspective thoughts strike as well as the depression, but it’s not depression that is motivating anything.

I was thinking about why people get into cosplay and the nature of wanting cosplay fame and what not. There was a twitter thread that I read yesterday and a subsequent conversation that kinda sparked my thoughts a bit. People often wonder why others try to get involved heavily with numbers and guesting and all the trappings of that and try to assign blame.

I don’t really think there’s a person you can *blame*, more like the pandemic. Sure people were monetizing and trying to influence before Covid messed everything up, but it really took off during the lockdown and boy it did it. I say that because I got swept heavily up into it once that initial no con depression hit (which is a whole ‘nother thing for those who know what I’m talking about).

During the pandemic, there were so many new cosplayers which honestly gave me great joy because I love this hobby (but not so much the community (another post for another time)). I also remember how impressionable I was starting out. There wasn’t a lot of people emphasizing important things nearly as much as they do today. Or maybe they did on twitter or other places, I’m not sure.

Anyway, I was heavily influenced by what I saw and what others did and I don’t blame any of the newer cosplayers for feeling like they had to care about numbers or influence others. It was kinda like the one time I had a discussion with a friend about how weird it is for female cosplayers starting out because there’s this underlying pressure to show skin/do more lewd costumes. This was like 4 years ago so I’m sure it’s changed now but it really felt like that’s what you had to do to get big.

Because that’s the dream right? Getting big, getting on the stage, getting paid to travel to cons. It sounds like a ton of fun but I’m sure someone would tell you that it starts out but does not remain that way. Personally I can’t speak to that since I’m as casual it comes these days or always if you ask certain people.

And inevitably when you talk about getting big it’s always going to involve numbers. Whoever tells you that the whole social media cosplay game doesn’t involve numbers in some way is lying. I wish it didn’t come down to that, god I wish. In fact I’m staring into that void as twitter is slowly combusting because thats where my popularity is located. Quite a few cons require you to have a certain amount of followers/social media presence before they even look at you. Others want you to have worked with companies like crunchyroll or viz media or funimation, which that is…an effort in itself because if you don’t have the followers or attract enough attention…well you get it.

This is not the end all to be all, because I have heard that you just have to network (a task daunting enough for us socially awkward people) and build connections, probably teach a few panels etc. So I’m pretty much rambling I guess at this point but I wanted to provide examples of requirements I’ve seen.

God I feel like this has gotten so long already, there’s so much I can say about the subject so maybe there’s gonna be a part 2.

[monte-charlo]

Huh, guess that new Max salary just proves the stats that PoC only make a fraction of every dollar a white man makes, even when the black man is the literal best to ever do this job

[lilgynt]

me forcing a anxiety attack behind a tangible wall in my mind started bc i dont know if i want to watch lego ninjas or not: oh okay cool cool

[ninjasmudge]

Whats going on with Mk in the Bone king au and how are our main group of heroes handling it?

I know you probably already have it figured out but I have and Idea

Now before I start please don't feel pressured to make any of this Canon in your au.

So for context I was talking with one of my friends and we were discussing how Mk gets his abilities from Sun Wukong (because nither of us remember if their was a Canon exsplaion on how it works) and we ended up agreeing on that he draws little bits of energy/power from wukong and then supplying it with his own energy creating this weird little mix of magic. While discussing this I brought up what would happen in if this applied in your Bone king au. And while talking about it they suggested this 'Mk gets Lbd weird glitchy effect from Bone King as he's still inherenting and getting bits of power from Wukong'

This go a lot of ways but I can't stop thinking about Mk feeling his own reality shift a little and things going wild and weird with him causing this weird creepy foreshadowing with everyone else and this idea that they need to get help from a demon who knows what's going on leading to them looking for Macaque.

i really love this idea! i dont wanna straight up add it into the au, bc its a whole nother element i didn't plan for BUT if it WAS canon oh man that would be really cool and really add another element of horror for mk in terms of uncertainty and like. is he seeing mists out of the corner of his eye? he breaths and its a little foggy, thats mostly normal, easily explained away but hes so quiet on his feet now, like a ghost gliding along the floor. in a bit im gonna answer one with some more about how the bone king deals with mk and the crew, bc it has some of these details but seriously thanks for sharing, its an awesome idea!!

[randomfansstuff]

so this

is a very interesting phenomenon I have been seeing going around twitter. basically people have been comparing the treatment of c!wilbur vs c!dream by the fandom and I do think it's a topic we could discuss again.

I won't go into too much detail since im not the best at debating lmao so all of this is my opinion on the characters and their treatments, you're all free to agree, disagree or add your own.

I think that whenever some look at or compare c!wilbur or c!dream they forget about the way both of their stories are presented to us as an audience. c!dream has always been somewhat of an enigma. he stopped streaming from his pov the second serious lore kicked in and we only saw him from the perspective of other people. we never got to see anything from his point of view, his thoughts, or his actual emotions as we did with c!wilbur. all we have on him is the way he shows himself to others. that's why I personally find it very hard to believe that he suffered from mental illness the same way c!wilbur did and still does, because we never saw him showing any kind of sign of it. from what i know of the lore, c!dream was always presented in a monotone serious way or actively enjoying his actions. the only time we saw him show something akin to fear or panic was during the prison arc or the final disc confrontation.

now to compare this to c!wilbur. we actively and through several streams saw him and his mental state crumble, and in addition we saw exactly which moments were the ones that took a toll on his mental wellbeing. on top of the head i could name three moments that made c!wilbur the way he turned out. i cannot do the same with c!dream- well before prison arc.

now within this arguement i would like to say that i am not including c!dreams traumatic moments from within the prison. thats a whole 'nother can of worms. the reason i am not including it here is because all of c!dreams actions that made him an 'asshole' were commited before the start of prison arc. before the final disc confrontation, the only loss c!dream ever faced was c!tommy running away from exile. besides that he always won. before prison arc he never displayed any kind of hint that he might have trauma.

what i'm trying to say is that yes, both c!wilbur and c!dream commited villanous actions. but out of the two of them, only c!wilbur displayed signs that he not only regrets his actions but that they took an insane toll on his mental wellbeing. after destroying lmanburg his first instinct was to get rid of his own life because he felt that was the only way to keep his loved ones save, because deep down he knew what he did was wrong. before prison arc (aka the consequences of his own actions) c!dream never displayed such behavior. after destroying lmanburg he didnt feel guilty and stopped, he did it again. after seeing that stone pillar and realising c!tommy almost killed himself, he didnt stop to think that what he was doing was wrong, he went to find him to continue doing it. after being put in prison to reflect on his thoughts, after every single one of his old friends went against him to show him he was doing wrong, first thing he did in prison was plan revenge (and this was before c!quackity) and to continue the way he did before.

c!dream never showed a narrative change in morals or that he regreted his actions, not in any kind of way c!wilbur did.

c!wilbur deserves getting help because deep down he regrets. he regrets everything. c!dream doesn't. he doesn't regret a thing. and i will continue believing this, believing that 'c!dream is just an asshole' until he shows me he isn't.

obviously there will be more sympathy for the guy that regrets the actions than for the one that has been enjoying them until forcefully stopped.

[ohlookitsthearkhamknight]

Lillian Worth

Okay so heres a lil run down of who lillian worth is and why i somewhat disagree about the “shes the usual asain babymama trope” (WHILE SHE ABSOLUTELY PLAYS INTO SOME TROPES SHE DOESNT PLAY INTO ALL OF THEM) and imma explain that.

If you dont know Lillian Worth is Rose Wilson’s mother. Rose’s father slade wilson (deathstoke) met lillian in veitnam where he rescued her. Im not gonna give the full run down because there is other posts that talk all about it. But basically they fell in “love” and lillian and slade err became friends with benefits and continued over multiple years

So lillian got pregnant from one of those encounters and this is where i get iffy on the whole trope subject. lily and her girls are not presented as exotic. Ever. They were treated like humans (read next paragraph)

(Before i continue i need to tell you that lili and her girls are sex workers. When she came to the states she continued to be one. But this is one thing marv did that i rly liked. HE PORTRAYED THEM ALL AS HUMAN. He never made them horrible. He showed them helping women and children. A lot of comic writers back then did not touch the sex work topic but he did and he did it in a respectful way. Now while you could argue is disrespectful to make women sex workers i dont see it that way. Its only disrespectful if portrayed in a disrespectful way)

Okay now lets continue now that ive told you what lillians job is.

Okay so we have lillian pregnant she goes to new york has the baby AND IT HAS WHITE HAIR. Now one of the parts of the trope is that the woman doesnt tell the father or let him know.

And while yes lillian doesnt tell slade i do not think its for the racist stereotype.

Think about it. You have a kid with WHITE HAIR and happens to be the daughter OF A VERY HATED MAN. In the end lillian loses her life trying to save rose. (And thats another part of the trope but hold up) the thing is she couldnt tell slade. What was she supposed to do. Tell him??!? SHE KNEW HE SUCKED AT BEING A FATHER. She knew it would be extremely dangerous knowing his enemies. While yes she does play into other parts of this trope, that part there was 0 chance she could.

And it wasnt untill later they made her into the racist asain tiger mom.

Also on the retconed love interest in the og comics her and slade continued to see each other.(this was later retconed by priest because hes stupid)

Rly she only plays into like one trope and thats her dieing but well think about it. Its a comic. Someone has to die for the story. At least she was treated like a human before she died. It would be a whole nother thing if she played DIRECTLY into the stereotype but she doesnt.

So waht im all saying is that while yes lillian does somewhat play into the stereotype she doesnt FULLY play into it. It wasnt untill more recent comics she become ur average sexy asain tiger mom that has nothing to do with the story only to exist for rose’s story.

All in all i think the og representation was respectful and the more recent ones sidelined the fuck outta lilian.

THIS IS AN OPEN DISCUSSION I WOULD RLY LIKE TO HEAR YOUR OPINIONS ON IT.

[something-pretty-neat]

big messy post ahead

thinking about how neurotypical people are all "oh be accepting of people's special interests/hyperfixations/whatever the specific community theyre discussing calls it" but as soon as that hyperfixation/special interest/etc. doesn't fit their concept of acceptable and normal things to be "nerdy" over they're so mean about it

like star wars? marvel? sure, go ahead

but dont be a Disney adult, that's for kids, grow up (which for context disney is my thing to cope with cptsd and shit so i take this one more personally and ik theres a lot of karens in the disney fandom and yeah they do suck but i digress)

women who are into anything childish are "sexualizing it" which is its own but related issue

anything small or sciencey is "boring"

you get the point i hope

its just

ugh i hate it and it makes me feel like i have to hide the stuff i love or at least pretend i dont know as much about it as i do cause i dont wanna get shit for it, especially from people who pretend to care

also, idk if i can consider myself not neurotypical for cptsd but thats a whole nother post

[blurred-cat]

what do i mean by “ace and demi and others would be validated” in regards to wanting sexual needs and sexual talk normalized in society? cause there would be widespread acknowledgement that Some People Simply Don’t Want Sex and that Some People Only Want It Under Certain Conditions. by normalizing discussions about this Extremely Natural Thing there would be wider discussion about the variety and manifestations of said sexual urges/wants and less making talking about sex at all some weird taboo subject. On top of that? sexual satisfaction could be freely discussed too. cause that’s also a thing i see so... neglected. here we fucking go a cut to shorten this honkin chonker baybeeeee

Like, Sex is being slightly talked about more These Days but not in a gentle manner. This aggressively condescending and heavily Gendered sexual satisfaction speak i keep seeing is trash and stupid and shit. Shaming people is never going to help them improve. I get it. We’re making the funny “find the clit” jokes and yeah thats giggle worthy but there’s not enough other discussion topic and meaningful speaking about anatomy, sex drive, foreplay, etc etc to make that joke more tactful, in the face of something that Can Be a legit concern. Like. I find it concerning a lot of people dont know Basic Human Anatomy. I wanna laugh but it’s horrifying and why is nobody else horrified? make the joke but educate has always been my go to, if not leaving the joke in the background or omitting it entirely. and maybe it’s cause i’ve been in The Scene and I’m realizing it was a very intelligent move to Not Get Married or Settle Down before my age but I’m so sick of the mainstream conversation manner surrounding consent and sex as a whole. And marriage too but thats a whole nother topic. I see that there’s too much fucking mysticism and shaming and not enough patience and education surrounding sex. satisfaction is not spoken of in a manner that doesn’t help people understand that: you know what, you may just be incompatible with your partner on a sexual level, can you live with that? It’s spoken of in the same manner as a Stage Performance. That everyone must always be perfect and satisfying for whoever they’re with or They Deserve To Die. on top of that, orgasms are being further mystified into this “holy grail” type shit like... you dont need an orgasm to be satisfied, actually. And some people straight up can’t. and sometimes they can even be Not Satisfying. not everyone’s ideal sexual experience is the same and, again, that’s being fucking homogenized and used to shame people that do it  differently, right? HOOO I HAVE COMPLAINTS. I’ve had these complaints for years too. my proposed solution is in this text. educate as a baseline. then expand the education methods and make them readily available and presented with less shaming/blaming/condescending language. demystify sex as some magical ultra-desirable and super mandatory process. always be learning. take the shame out of not knowing about how to have sex. take the shame out about not knowing the anatomy. demystify genitals. educate on how to communicate clearly with your partners about sex. of course there are exceptions. because of how society is currently situated there’s a huge elephant in the room i wish to make very clear: Absolutely Murder pedophiles and sex traffickers indiscriminately and i don't care what age they are. kill them all and make a mountain of their heads for the masses to see. the rules of clear and you deserve death. those are the people that should feel shame and guilt and liquid metal being poured down their throats. they should have their skin peeled slowly until they die of blood loss. anyway, i dream of an ideal world.

[azuwulastan]

all this azula zuko discussion on the dash has me thinking - azula antagonises zuko a lot, she seems to trick him a lot to either make a fool of him or bring him into custody to the fire nation. her motives for telling ozai that he killed aang is not exactly clear - does she suspect he is not being honest about aangs likelihood of survival? is she trying to save her skin if he turns out to be alive? or was that the only way zuko would be accepted by ozai. she spends all of book 2 tracking him down and in book 3 after he confronts ozai she wants to kill him.

but then she is shown reaching out to him a bunch of times. often with ulterior motives, but often enough just because (beach house, warning him abt visiting iroh etc). whereas zuko spends the entire show trying to get away from her, or challenging her. his only interest in their interactions seem to be to restore his honour or his birthright.

so im really not sure he would be interested in reconciliation with her post series? she seems to be more invested in their relationship - usually where she is getting something out of it but not always. so if they were to reconcile, i think it would require azula to approach zuko, unless he has gone though some period of self reflection abt what kind of a relationship he wants with her. this seems plausible if he saw the condition she was in post agni kai. maybe seeing her have a complete nervous breakdown might challenge this idea he has of her as some perfect evil monster who was born with all the luck in the world

as for apologies. idk if they ever would apologise to each other. thats a whole nother discussion

[borathae]

oh my god yessssssss to that post you just rebloged!!! it thought it was just me getting uncomfortable with it, like i know its just a fic but it was still so weird and creepy i would stop reading it right then and there if it happend! i started thinking it had to do with me being more dom leaning switch, or not experienced enough, and i was just not really getting the jist, but then i would read something that was dom(member) from author i really liked and had been following for a long time and i wouldnt be uncomfortable what so ever!! that was one of the things i really liked about your fanfics when i started following you, i could see you understand what dom/sub dynamics are supposed to be instead of just thinking about it as synonyms to top and bottom which a lot of authors seam to wrongfully think. i now understand that this kind of dynamics isnt just about bossing your partner around, its about trust and respect for eachother in an healthy relationship bc ive educated myself, i just wish some people werent throwing this words around as excuses to toxic and abusive behaviours and putting it out for impressionable people to read, but thats a whole nother discussion...

(sorry for the messy english, i got a little carried away😅)

Yes omg I couldn’t have said it better. I totally agree with you. Especially with the last part. 

Also gosh thank you, I am really glad that my stories are able to make you comfortable and that they convey healthy relationships 💜

[aroperyton]

oh a popular aro experience/feeling?? that i dont relate to (i feel like every arospec person has at least one of those), is the idea that like, nonplatonic relationships inherently being More than platonic relationships to you is inherently wrong+malicious+amatonormative when i like someone nonplatonically not only is there numerous factors/parts of my attraction towards them, but things i do with them OUT OF ATTRACTION that places it above/More Than my platonic relationships both in importance/priority with the ppl i know And in how i feel about them elaborating;

>if im nonplatonically attracted to someone theres a lot that factors in to it, this person just Existing inherently makes me feel good in this and that and this and that way and when they say my name or call me this or say this kind of thing to me it makes me feel this and this and thinking of them makes me wanna be with them more and think of things id wanna do in the future and being with them only intensifies that and makes me seriously try to plan a (albeit short-term) relationship with them, and that is how they make me feel -but with my friends there isn't any of this, there is no deep underlying feeling and devotion and me being Drawn to and appealed by and positive feelings that makes me want to do things with them, because i'm not attracted to them!!!! if i talk to a person and they seem cool i'll talk to them more cause talking to them's nice and That is IT that is the whole story nothing more nothing less!!!!! i describe this as platonic Attachment moreso than Attraction

>when i am nonplatonically attracted to someone, it's BECAUSE i feel all those aforementioned positive things towards them that DIRECTLY leads to - like, is on the same exact path as - wanting to do/doing shit with them! i wanna kiss em Because i'm attracted to them! i wanna wrap my arm around theirs and hold their hand Because i'm attracted to them! i wanna wrap around them in general Because i'm attracted to them! i wanna call them 8a83 and for them to call me whatever Because i'm attracted to them! i wanna do this and that and this and that BECAUSE i think they are hot and/or cute and they make me feel a way that makes me wanna do that stuff!!!! -but when someone is my friend, i do things with them just for the sake of doing stuff! i don't talk to them cause everything they say makes me go awww and wish we could move in together more, i talk to them cause i like hearing what they have to say and what they have to say is good and they're nice to talk to!! if i wanna cuddle them or kiss them on the cheek/forehead/whatever or be with them physically etc etc etc it's because they are and have been a Good Friend, ie They Are And Have Been Consistantly Good At Talking To Me and handling our relationship (ie saying the right things to me at the right time, ie not Saying 'shut up i hate you!!' when i Say 'im sad :(' /exaggerated, but you get the idea) which results in trust and respect and enjoyment of Our Relationship, IE, Us Talking To Eachother.

>so my nonplatonic relationships Usually (KEYWORD USUALLY!! while its not a kind of relationship i have a lot, i Have had nonplatonic relationships where i'd go to certain friends Before i'd go to my partner for some things and i DO disagree with the amatonormative ever-present notion that your partner HAS to come first and your friends will ALWAYS come last) come first because if i lose them or ignore them to Only spend time with my friends when i could spend it with them etc i am not just losing Someone To Talk To i am losing someone who inherently makes me happy and at ease and enjoying them Because They Are Them, and i am losing this and that and this and that thing to do that makes me happy bc im doing it with Them and able to just stew in how much i like them and how attractive they are -but! as stated before! my friendships are essentially just Talking To Someone and doing things to show youre glad theyre there because of how good talking to them is!! and if i lose them then well shit bro i can talk to fucking anyone else!!!!!! they mightve been someone who i could talk to abt a specific thing i couldnt trust with anyone else or maybe they'd talk in a specific way regarding certain things that was really comforting, BUT AGAIN THATS JUST ME BEING SAD OVER NOT TALKING TO THEM NOT BEING SAD OVER HOW I FEEL ABOUT THEM OR NOT BEING ABLE TO EXPRESS MY ATTRACTION VIA WHATEVER NONPLATONIC ACTION

(worth noting i am alloaro so if some of this reads as my nonplatonic relationships kinda railing off the ability to Do Something Out Of my attraction to them and how Attractive they are instead of just being with them and Them and my Ability to Be with them, there uh. ah. theres a reason for that ;>___>) so u might be reading this and going, oh, clove, that sounds like you're aplatonic! and you'd be right! but this is where it hits a wall cause i HAVE experienced platonic Attraction before. i Have been Drawn to and appealed by and, well, Attracted To someone.... out of platonicness. i Have felt a positive and emotional way towards someone that made me want to do things with them not to show appreciation but just out of how much they made me feel and how i felt about them, but in a platonic way! which might read as 'no homo'-y and we were just awkward friends but 'friends' was Not how we described, or not the sole way we'd describe our relationship, because we were More Than Friends*, but we weren't dating or being sexual or anything nonplatonic, but we weren't just friends, but we'd have recurring issues of ppl thinking we Were nonplatonic and that wasn't the case, but it really was way More than any regular friendship at least as far as we knew, but- so we defined that as a qpr and that was the best way to explain it and to this day i still feel like that explains it p solid even if the definitions for it aren't always the same and some aren't what i'd use for that one specifically, which crosses off another definition for aplatonic past 'i have experienced platonic attraction', 'i have had+wanted a qpr', And! that relationship and the way i felt overshadows how not-attracted to my friends i am and how clear cut the definition between 'friend' and 'not-friend [gayly]' is for me! which crosses out the last thing! so i just. feel weird abt it all. bottom line is that i know people aren't saying this shit for No Reason and if i want affirmation of the concept of 'nonplatonic relationships are more than platonic ones' i don't even have to fucking go outside i can just look literally anywhere that isn't wholly and entirely the aro community dedicated to arospec and aro-related discussion...... but i wish people wouldn't act like/imply that since this is how a lot of aro people feel, that this is not only an inherent intrinsic universal arospec experience/feeling, but that anything different directly goes against other aro people, even if the person in question is. also arospec. BUT MAYBE thats just me being hierarchy_polyamory_luvr_500 and not someone who relates to or particularly Wants to specifically aim for relationship anarchy with all my relationships started and maintained by myself, which is a whole nother post, BUT ANYHOO. don't throw affectionate/attraction-ing/partnering/amorous aros under the bus please lol XD

*ik this is kinda a loaded way to describe a relationship/feelings towards someone but wrt this specific relationship, i mean it in the sense of like.

if this makes sense? it's more than friends, but because it's still platonic feelings, it's just farther along the line of and has more going on than just regular friends, therefore. more than friends+not just friends. but the concept of a nonplatonic 'more than/not just friends' is not lost on me when it's not coming from like, a romance movie, cause -GESTURES AT THE ENTIRE FIRST 3/4THS OF THIS POST-