#but the YouTube algorithm decided against my will that i needed to know about this game and ast.arion so here we are lmao

[starlit-roses-ships]

before i change my theme to suit my current f/o fixation i suppose now is a good a time to mention that asta.rion from bg3 is an f/o now lol 😅

[shurisasthmaticgf]

the curls are curling: lando norris x black social media influencer fem! reader

summary: the secret behind why his curls have been consistently looking perfect is revealed.

authors note: i am still very new to formula one so please don't jump me if there is some slight inaccuracies. i did my best to look things up if i wasn't sure about them. this fic isn't based off of any grand prix in particular either. also, this is a work of fiction meaning it's not REAL so please remember that as well! constructive feedback is heavily encouraged and very appreciated 🫶🏽

heat pooled through the open windows of the house as you ran around to try and get yourself ready for the long day ahead. you woke up an hour ago to give yourself two hours to get ready because today was a race weekend. usually, you only needed about an hour to get you and your boyfriend out the door but today you'd gotten up earlier to film a vlog.

the whole social media influencer thing was still fairly new for you, only having started to consistently vlog and post a few months ago. before you'd started dating lando you were posting here and there about your day to day as a university student and intern for a large company in the city. every so often one of your videos got a couple hundred thousand views but you didn't really mind that your other content only got a few likes...that was just how tiktok's algorithm worked.

once you graduated from university and your internship ended you didn't have much to vlog about until you decided to film a race weekend and post it. what you didn't expect was the video to get millions of views and likes overnight. a massive influx of fans followed but you didn't really pay too much mind to the number, this was just something you liked to do and people also liked to watch. with time you ended up opening a youtube channel where you posted longer vlogs and other videos, and tiktok became a place where you posted 1-3 minute clips of your longer videos. one thing you never really did was center your entire vlog around your boyfriend. sure, lando was the entire reason you ended up at races but you were also your own person...that and lando was oddly camera shy when it came to your vlogs so he often wanted you to edit him out if he happened to end up in the frame.

which is how you ended up in your bedroom with your tripod pointed the camera directly at you. you smiled widely, hoping that it masked the fact that you were nearly half asleep, "good morning everyone! it's race day and i'm gonna be taking you along with me. everyone's been asking for a longer race day vlog so i'm here to give you all what you want. first lets get into the fit- these pajamas were sent to me from Brooks Avenue, if you like them you can use the code Y/N for a little discount on your purchase!" you backed up to show off your pink and green pajamas that would have definitely cost an arm an a leg if they hadn't come in a PR package. the matching pink and green satin bonnet on your head slowly slipped down your forehead leaving you to push it back up with an annoyed huff. you explained to the camera once more, "okay and first i'm gonna brush my teeth then do my skincare routine...he's in the shower right now so the lens might get fogged up, sorry in advance." you knocked on the bathroom door to let your boyfriend know you were coming in before pulling your skincare products out of your travel bag. quickly you brushed your teeth with until you felt like you'd gotten rid of every trace of morning breath.

just as you finished your skincare routine, the shower turned off and you slipped out of the bathroom. while lando finished in the bathroom you sat back down at the vanity and situated the camera back in front of you. slowly you slipped the bonnet from your head and untied the silk scarf under it, letting the large twists in your hair fall against your shoulders. to the camera you explained, "it's gonna be really hot today so i'm just gonna pull the twists back with a ribbon and call it a day i think." you pulled a jar of edge control and a brush from your bag and began styling your baby hairs, effortlessly into swirls and swoops. a laugh fell past your lips as you admitted, "honestly the only reason i still do this is so my forehead looks slightly less...megamind-esque in pictures." when you finished you tied another scarf messily around your hairline and began gathering your twists into a ponytail to secure it with a holder and ribbon.

the bathroom door opened and lando walked back into your room, fully dressed but his button down left wide open exposing his bare torso. in his hands he held a blow dryer and two bottles, one leave in conditioner and a gel you'd bought for him a few weeks ago. you finished tying the bow around your ponytail then took the two bottles from him and plugged the blow dryer into the wall. a hand gently pulled on your hand and you looked up to see sleepy smile grace his lips, "good morning, beautiful." you drew closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck and letting him pull you in by the waist. his head nuzzled into your shoulder as your hand found the back of his head, stroking his hair softly with your fingers you murmured, "hi baby." you could feel the shy smile he wore against your shoulder until you pulled away from him. you pulled a robe from the back of the door and told him, "put this on." he knew most of the reason was so he didn't stain his shirt with hair products but another part of it had to be the fact that his shirt was wide open.

lando sat in front of the camera and you laughed at how awkward he looked compared to normal. you prompted, "baby, say hi to everyone. they ask for you all the time." he stiffly waved a hand in front of the camera and you sighed, "i don't know why you act so funny around my camera but everyone else it's fine." he mumbled a soft, "because it's you..." but only the mic on the camera caught it. he sat on the bench in front of you and slightly leaned back into your body before letting his eyes flutter shut.

meanwhile you showed the leave in conditioner to the camera, "this is the kinky curly knot today leave in-" despite his eyes being shut lando let out a small laugh and you asked, "what?" he mumbled cheekily, "kinky." you let out a exasperated sigh, "oh god you're like a child...anyways i was saying, i put a little of this in his hair but not too much just a tiny amount to add moisture." squeezing the leave in conditioner into your palm then applying it to his hair you hummed along to a sza song that ran through your head. the gentle work of your fingers running along his scalp nearly lulled lando back to sleep. you worked through his hair with a practiced ease, adding product and coaxing the curls atop his head to take perfect shape. not wanting to disturb his peace, you silently showed the matching brand's curling custard and then applied that lightly to his hair. once you'd finished you turned on the blow dryer, accidentally jump scaring your boyfriend under you. a soft melodic laugh fell past your lips and one hand fell to his shoulder before you leant down and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek, "my bad babe." the camera didn't miss the way he leaned into your touch, pushing his cheek closer to you with his shoulders dropping further in relaxation.

not even half an hour later you were done and the light brown curls on his head were perfectly defined. you wiped your hands on the hand towel you'd slung over your shoulder earlier and laughed when you realized your boyfriend literally fell asleep. you gently cupped under his chin and pressed another kiss to his cheek. just above a whisper you mumbled, "all done, bubs. " he opened his eyes and smiled while you mused, “my pretty boy.” his cheeks flushed slightly, “thank you” and you brushed a few curls into place before looking at his reflection, "of course." he stood up and pulled you out of the frame to gave you a quick kiss before going downstairs where you'd meet him when you finished getting dressed.

the white and navy blue floral sundress you wore was both nice and simple enough to wear for today. simple gold jewelry and a pair of white sandals finished off your look and you grabbed the camera to show your reflection in the full length mirror on the wall, "all dressed so i'm gonna go meet lando downstairs and i'll see you all a little bit later!" you stopped recording and went downstairs to find your boyfriend sitting and ready to go, his cheeks burning pink when he laid eyes on you. a subtle fluttering erupted in your stomach at the familiar gaze, the one that made you feel like the only girl in the world.

*extra*

you scrolled through your social media accounts, something you never really did if you didn't have to. the first thing that came to your attention was the flood of pictures and comments that were about your boyfriend's hair. for the past few races you'd been doing his hair and more and more fans were noticing it looked better than normal. honestly, you found it amusing that people were bringing it up and so much at that, so you decided to add to the conversation just a bit:

fans reactions to recent vlog upload:

[iavulture]

(Long post with some spoilers) Something fascinating about a sidequest in CoV

I know that I haven't been posting screenshots of Demon Haunt convos as frequently lately, but that's because I've been pushing through the game quite a lot to the end. Don't worry, though, for those who like them, they're still coming around as I make progress.

Anyway, I've been fascinated by this subquest, and it's not only because of the worldbuilding bits in regards to the demon summoning program as it's portrayed in SMTVV. As seen above, the game does acknowledge the use of technology in relation to the demons, and that the humans essentially have to do some things the old-fashioned way i.e. not going digital and using paper for security measures.

But what this researcher/sidequest giver says next is even more interesting, as seen in the next screenshots.

Some spoilers ahead for the novel series Digital Devil Story, which the MegaTen games are originally based off of! Read on if you don't mind and want to know my thoughts.

So you've decided to read on. Here are my thoughts on this:

Believe it or not, I love how this (possibly) relates to the very beginning of the SMT franchise, specifically Digital Devil Story. For those who don't know, Digital Devil Story: Megami Tensei is the first novel of a trilogy by Aya Nishitani. Want a summary? It's about a genius highschooler named Akemi Nakajima, who develops the Demon Summoning Program to get back at his bullies (it's... complicated). And as future MegaTen installments are wont to do, things go horribly wrong as the program summons Loki and the Norse god wreaks havoc and kills people (and also... forces himself onto one of Nakajima's teachers and attempts to do the same to new transfer student/love interest Yumiko Shirasagi). In fact, Nakajima's actions end up causing the events of the rest of the trilogy, along with the events in the New Digital Devil Story hexalogy, which is a sequel series to the trilogy.

2. Continuing from #1, there's the name mentioned by the researcher: Atziluth. This is the name of the place where demons live and was first mentioned in Digital Devil Story (and in Strange Journey compendium entries); the games call it by other names such as Makai/the Expanse and the Netherworld/Da'at.

3. "Essentially, we perform pseudo-summons through computers to transmigrate demons into this world." This is pretty much what Nakajima does with the Demon Summoning Program, in that he used a computer with the program to summon Loki. For additional context, one should know that besides being a programmer, Nakajima is also an amateur magician, and previously came to a revelation that magic and programming are similar in that they had exact steps/algorithms that needed to be followed to produce a desired result.

I can only speculate as to how people in V's world came to have such tech, but my guess is that Bethel researchers at the very least had a hand in it, as Bethel is the one distributing phones with the DSP to people like Ichiro Dazai and Yuzuru Atsuta. If people can use phones to summon demons, why not through computers as well, just like how Nakajima did it with Loki?

To end this post, I just want to say that I like this worldbuilding in Vengeance. From what I understand, Atziluth sort of reminds me of the Digital World in Digimon, in that it's a place where monsters reside and can be taken into the human world through the use of technology. In fact, I'm reminded of what happens in Digimon Story: Cyber Sleuth/Cyber Sleuth - Hacker's Memory (which, btw, are great games and aren't exactly for kids, unlike much of the rest of the Digimon franchise).

Here's a link to an hourlong video by Marsh explaining the novel series: Demystifying Digital Devil Story - YouTube

Anyway, long post over! I certainly wanted to write something after a long battle against a certain fly and needed a deserved break. I hope you enjoyed it and learned a few things.

[majoringinsarcasm]

I just be talking. But about fanfic related things this time

“I wish ao3 was an app that would use an algorithm to recommend me fics I like based on my past reads”

So you have learned nothing? The for you pages on tumblr and Twitter taught you nothing? Based on your likes has taught you nothing? The nanosecond you are recommended something against your tastes despite not following that author because The Algorithm randomly dropped it in you’d lose your mind. I know it’s easy to get caught up in just reading when you have a lot of fics to pick from. But please please remember that they exist because people decided to share them with others. Fandom is a shared space and a back and forth. It is not a restaurant. If you want something specific from ao3 or any other fanfic site you search for it. You learn how to use said search functions just like how you learned tumblr and Twitter and YouTube.

Having an app would not Make It Better. So so so SO many websites that used to host blogs and GAMES are fucking dead. We need to keep websites around so they don’t get shoved under a monolith that can suppress and erase and delete data and user accounts just because they feel like it.

My ao3 bookmark is my own profile and I have it saved and it’s Better than an app because I don’t need to worry about mine or other users world being deleted because sponsors and shareholders and whoever is in charge of the money wanted it done.

TLDR: AO3 DOES NOT NEED AN APP. WHO WOULD FUND IT?? AND IF YOU HAVE SOMEONE IN MIND DO YOU REALLY WANT THEM IN CHARGE OF A VERY BIG PLATFORM THAT ALLOWS QUEER CREATORS TI BE ON IT WITHOUT NEEDING TO CENSOR OR TONE THEMSELVES DOWN? WHATEVER BAD CONTENT YOU ARE HOPING IT WOULD GET RID OF I PROMISE YOU IF NORMIES EVER HEARD ABOUT THE APP ANY WHOLESOME QUEER CONTENT THEY FOUND GROSS WOULD BE PUT ON THE SAME LEVEL AS ANY ILLEGAL SHIP YOU HATE. THEY DO NOT CARE. BOOKMARK THE PAGE BESTIE

And leave a comment when you can it really helps authors know they are reaching that community they posted for

[iamanartichoke]

I posted this as a comment on a Reddit thread earlier thread but decided to delete it and make a post bc it's tl;dr for a comment. Then it became tl;dr for a Reddit post, too, so I'm bringing it to my tumblr. Disclaimer that these are just my thoughts as a fan and an observer re: Watcher's shift to streaming.

So I've long thought that YouTube isn't the right platform for Watcher, bc their biggest problem is that they don't function the way that "modern" YouTube requires. Back in the day, it was easier to turn a profit on YouTube but these days, to be successful, you have to utilize the tools YouTube gives you to make money, which are channel memberships, livestreams, and sponsored ads. Watcher doesn't do any of those things which hurts them as those are huge opportunities for revenue that are just being ignored. Their video game series is perfect content to be held via livestream, for example; so are the debriefs. Even if they did a monthly livestream with Superchats and memberships, they'd rake in so much money. I don't know why they don't.

But on top of that, Watcher doesn't work with The Algorithm, which - I don't like The Algorithm, but it's a fact that content creators have to lean into it in order to build their audience. YouTubers who are successful now not only do the memberships et al. but they also upload consistently, usually once or twice a week. Videos come out pretty quickly after they're filmed, and they're usually centered around a specific thing. The variety of Watcher is a big draw bc it pulls in a lot of people who are there for different things, but it works against them too, bc they only post weekly when they're in an active season of a show, and so the audience that only tunes in for 8 weeks of Mystery Files, for example, may not visit the channel again for another year or six months whenever the next season comes out. It's hard to keep a consistent audience to provide the numbers needed when the content appeals to all kinds of people and their model of "seasons" that are shot in advance and go through a long post-production process works against them.

So I can see why they want to move away from YouTube. They don't want to be just another cookie-cutter channel, and I feel like they especially want to distance themselves from the oversaturated (and frankly cringe) YouTube ghost-hunting genre that's exploded recently (Ryan keeps throwing shade at probably Sam and Colby, plus while I enjoyed the last season of GF, I also found it uncomfortable to watch at times bc Shane's disdain for all of it was just hard to sit through, for me; it wasn't fun). But they don't seem to realize that, in creating their niche, they've really painted themselves into a corner where their content doesn't work anywhere but YouTube.

So instead of trying to launch a whole new streaming service, they need to be willing to change up their model to make it more adaptable to YouTube. A more flexible "upload model" - with memberships, livestreams, and ad sponsors - would give them the revenue they're looking for, but that would also require them to dial back the production value and lose some employees, and their unwillingness to do that is what's going to ultimately make them fail. And it's weird bc their audience doesn't even care about production value! GF would be a lot better if they changed up the format and didn't bring 10 people on location, so it's like - clearly they're the ones who want the better production value, not us. It's not for us but they want us to pay for it? Bruh???

I feel like it's really such a shame, and as much as I love Watcher, I don't want to pay for another streaming service and I'm so goddamn sick of paywalls on literally the entire internet that I just cannot. I'm tired of not being able to use a website or even browse without having to make an account, I'm tired of having to make an account and then only being able to use one or two features if I don't also pay, or getting slammed by ads that essentially make the website unusable bc there's ads all over it, I'm tired of websites that pop up with that godawful "you're using an adblocker, please disable to proceed to our website!" message. I'm tired of things being locked up and inaccessible and while I understand that people should be paid for their work, there are ways Watcher can make money and get paid that don't involve trying to hustle their audience to pay for a streaming service to access like 12 episodes of content a year. Just ugh.

[rot8erconex]

Yet another case where Google is enshittifying the internet.

For those of you unaware, Relic Castle, a fan site for Pokémon that allows users to share fan games and developers of those same games to create resources to help in making them, was given a takedown notice by a legal firm hired by The Pokémon Company. The current understanding is that the order for this takedown did not directly come from TPC, but because the law firm does work for them, the takedown does need to be treated as legit.

So, as someone trying to make a fangame and who would regularly peruse the developer resources section - I was literally in the middle of downloading alternate summary screens when the takedown hit - I was looking for alternative sites. I think I googled literally "relic castle replacements".

One of the results was "The controversy surrounding the Relic Castle takedown". Which, as displayed on the Google page, was not quite what I was looking for, but still something that might be an interesting read.

So I click on it, and the actual website is called "V*r*is*fy: The controversy surrounding the Relic Castle takedown". Which immediately sets me off. See, the word that starts with V, is a YouTuber whose whole schtick is "Anyone who is better than me at the game must be cheating, and I can prove it because look at how many shiny Pokémon they have. Trading anyone a hacked Pokémon is just as bad as giving someone an STD and should be punishable by death". Absolutely no nuance. Most other PokeTubers hate him because he steals their content, and then when they make a video showing why they dislike him and what content they had stolen, he responds with "they just hate me because I'm a furry" and the other person has to spend the next month or so with all their videos getting hate-bombed by his viewers - I've actively censored his name because it's likely some of his viewers are on here just to harass others. But he's also the most well-known PokeTuber because he does actually know how to do the content grind - he actually releases 10+ videos a day, all around the right length for the algorithm, so he does flood out the competition. He knows how to optimize for the search engine, so you'd think that a company writing an article about his (really bad) video about the takedowns would want to include his name in order to get more algorithm optimization.

Anywho, I back out to Google in order to see if it was my mistake, and nope! The search result is actually called "The controversy surrounding the Relic Castle takedown", no mention of the YouTuber in question. And I think "I could maybe fix this" and decide to report the search result.

There's options to report because the description reveals personal information, because the site is illegal, etc., but the most similar option is "the description is outdated". It's not quite right, but there wasn't an option for just clickbait. I just want the search result to match the title of the actual article. Since the YouTuber in question is so good at SEO, you'd think the article poster would want his name in there to increase their SEO. And it would also have allowed me to properly assess that the article was not worth my time.

I click the option and it takes me to a brand new page where I confirm the website that I am reporting the link to, and then it asks me (because I said the description is outdated) to provide words that appear in the description but not in the actual site. This is a mandatory step - I can't skip it - so I don't know if there's a step later that asks the reverse, which is what I want to provide. After all, there's a very prominent word that shows up in the article title but not in the search result title.

I consider the idea of just typing the YouTuber's name anyway, but decide against it because I realize the report system likely is automated, and Google's spiders would probably see that the name does appear on the site in question, and throw out my report.

So then I decide, what if I report this problem itself as a bug - after all, there is a link that says "provide feedback". And I click it, and it takes a screenshot. Which is fine - that is a reasonable thing to do, show the page that I'm providing feedback on - but it doesn't let me show additional images, so I can show that the titles do not match but the way they don't match is opposite the way they want.

TL;DR: had an issue with Google search results, tried to report the issue and couldn't because the form presumed the opposite of what the actual problem was, and I couldn't even send proper feedback about the form because it doesn't let me send images beyond the screenshot of the form itself.

[manyofnine]

You know how fucking insidious it is, that most of the shit i get ads vor are either meal kits or meal replacements?

"i got a busy schedule" "sometimes i forget to eat" "after a long day at work i got no energy to shop for groceries let alone cook them" "it only takes 2 minutes, 10, half an hour!" "sent directly to your doorstep" "i know the grind, the stress, would rather do anything else but concern myself with what to make for dinner" "for your lunch on the go!" "healthy" "protein plus Version" "lactose, gluten, animal free" "i always have it on me" "this way i don't have to go to the hassle" "got my mind free for more important things"

Food. They don't want to sell us food anymore but meal plans and diets and ways to shorten our interactions with it.

You know what Culture is?

It's 5 things:

Community (which they tell you to get on their highly curated Social Media sites, let the Algorithm decide when you see your friends!)

Clothes (which they already got us to give up upon so completely. You can't discern german from french from American from japanese if they all follow the same fast fashion trends)

Language (which they too are trying to overtake, everything is English, everything is pc, everything is polite, everything is "scrubbed clean for the advertisers" of course it's never going to go completely, but if i talk to my peers in my mother tongue, two thirds of the words spilling from my tongue are going to me english or anglizised)

Entertainment, meaning: Art, Music, Theater the stuff we watch and listen to, the stories we see. (which they too are trying to conform, sell for my convenience, easily reprodusable at little cost for them, blockbusters and AI-shit, industry plants and funny ad singles, everything is out to sell me shit and if my favorite podcast or youtube person tells me the same 5 selling points to the same fucking company one more time, i swear to fucking God-)

And Food.

They take everything away from us. They want us to be uniform. Fit in one of 5 labels, best yet fit in all of them. So they can market to us, so that i buy the same shit, spend my evenings the same way, talk about the same issues and never vear from the script.

Free up the time i would normally use to make a decision about who to meet, what to wear, what to say, what to watch or listen to, what eat to make more money, strive for a more productive life, be the best version of myself????! What the fucking hell?

Fuck you corporation. You might speak in my friends voice, you might look like a person i trust, you might say you have my best interests at heart, but i am eternally trying to get rid of all of you. Fuck you.

And that too is what they want, because i am amgry with no way to channel the anger. Only way i can direct it is against myself.

I don't know who is behind this drift, far too many people have found "market holes and niches" far too many people pounced on the opportunity to make quick buck out of the misery of the everyday worker, far too many want the money i earned, promising me that i shall feel a connection, a bit of relief, freedom, time for myself, a good feeling at giving to a good cause or person. Promising me, if i just made a bit more, if i was just that bit better, as a person, as a productive member of society, i would deserve the time that i so selfishly take for myself every evening when i cook, every long phone call that i lie on my bed, every moment where i do not cunsume content mindlessly.

They've long since taken any connection i might have had to my home, now i just need to conform.

That's why conservatives gain strength, to push us all down, to make sure we follow the invisible rules of society because if you don't conform you can't be labeled, can't be put away, you will stick out and rebel or refuse and we don't want that, do we?

Fuck everything, i wanna burn the system to the ground!

[classroomgraffiti]

(inspired by ”The End of Art: An Argument Against Image AIs” by Steven Zapata Art on youtube, watch it please)

If youve already decided ai art is bad for the art environment as a whole or have watched the video i referred to above then dont bother with this post as it was probably better elaborated on in said video, however, if you don’t have the time to watch a 47 minute video or are still either on the fence or a supporter of ai art then i implore you to read the rest of this post as im going to list arguments for ai art and try and counter them

firstly, ai art and people using references is not comparable, a person even if they follow an image as closely as possible will still have slight alterations whereas the ai can copy it exactly. to extend upon this akin to how someone may trace or use someone else’s art as a reference, these ai algorithms have databases which contain billions of images, including ones with copyright which we would normally not have access to in order to use like this, from hundreds of thousands of artists and will precisely and electrically splice your art into its results

corporations and stingy bastards stand to make ridiculous amounts from this, as people who may have hired an artist for a job or commission can now tell their ai to pull up desired images instantaneously, not to mention that the ones who sold these people their ai will be getting paid instead, and they will be getting paid NICELY with your money (openai etc)

finally, and i hope iv saved what i feel is my best point for last, is against those who argue “it gives people who were not gifted the ability to make great art” or “the ai is a tool which is dependant on us feeding it prompts”, starting with the first argument, no artist is “gifted” or “talented”, what artists actually are is determined and hard working and pillars of mental fortitude & work ethic, im no fine arts master but personally i have only gotten to the point i’m at because i would often spend all of brake & lunch at school and then anywhere between 1-3 hours nearly everyday just drawing, the fact that the act of drawing is what i use as a coping mechanism for any stressful times in my life is irrelevant as i and anyone else who partakes in art and the craft have only achieved there skill through effort which is possible and obtainable to absolutely anybody, if you are upset by your perceived inability to draw then either simply improve through practice and documentation until you create works which meet yours standards or just stop drawing until you can do it without becoming overly upset at your quality; do not steal the blood sweat and tears of honest artists so you can LARP about as somebody who is actually willing to put the time in for results (this does not refer however to those who happened to have innocently used ai art before or those who credit the specific artist/just share cool ai art as my anger is only directed at those who use this technology to pretend the work is theirs or avoid paying artists, i myself used dalli.mini to import burt reynolds onto the moon and into RGU some time ago out of pure curiosity); continuing further, referring to how this ai needs human made prompts, allow me to forwards you a question if you believe this to be the case, if algorithms akin to the ones on tiktok or other SM platforms and search engines which are massively capable of monitoring a persons searches and precisely adapt at using this info to show the users stuff that they know the user will enjoy, then what is stopping these algorithms from being applied to these ai art generators? if the ai art generator is given the capability to monitor and act upon your searches and info like the algorithms i just mentioned then what is stopping it from, for example, auto generating some images from your interests for you to look at? now consider that this ai will be making a sweatshops worth of generated images for literally everybody and that while this happens, as the the ai produces more and more, whether the prompts were manually put in or not, that it is perpetually and ALWAYS LEARNING. why stop at simple images? books, poems, animation, music, each medium with which man has used to express themselves since the start of time will receive its own ai with which to steal literally every recorded piece of art or literature ever in order to churn into automatic and spontaneous content, by then all we will be left with is this auto generated primordial pool of content puked up by the ai, you may look up references for a cool drawing you are trying to do and five minutes later youll receive a ping from your phone sayin “heres that drawing you were working on, dont sweat it i already finished it for you in color and everything just as you imagined” just so you can scroll through walls of images which each look like they were pulled from your head, 20 minutes later itll send you the drawings you were going to draw 2 years from now, and 55 minutes later it’s going to send you auto generated pictures of you next to your idealised and perfect partner going kayaking, on a picknick, getting married etc in an album under the name “your hopes and aspirations”; because these computers KNOW us, far better than you or anyone else could ever hope to know yourself or eachother, and if there’s anything that these algorithms and corporations know about the human brain it’s that it loves the quick, dopamine inducing, highly addictive, blitz krieg style content which allows tiktok and other SMs to fester in the modern atmosphere

im not saying we need to all smash our phones in tandem as that would be obviously ridiculous, neither do i have an answer as to how we should get rid of or counteract ai art, all i can say is that i believe ai art is the biggest threat to essential human expression, 2nd only to us all nuking eachother, and the we SHOULD be angry about it and SHOULD not simply sit around and let it ruin us, even if it’s jus by bringing up to someone else via conversation how awful ai art is then thats still fighting back art and i would implore that you do that if possible. thanku for reading my ramblings if ur still interested in the topic of ai art then simply search for the video i referred to at the start or do independent research on they topic outside of that, maybe what youll find may debunk me who knows anyway im very tired gn😑👍 (also again let me reiterate that those who use this technology while crediting the specific artist/ sharing cool ai art they prompted while fully acknowledging its ai art and not there own work are completely innocent, i’d rather you just share the work of actual people but whatever its hardly an issue when confined to this scale)

[calamityandme]

I’ve had a better couple of days thank goodness.

Yesterday I had a “me” day. I played a lot of BG3. ROMANCED ASTARION! It was at the tiefling party/bonfire or whatever. It was so fun lol.

I made myself chicken and dumplings for dinner that night. Spent time with Danny. Overall a good day.

✨(I need to talk about my special interests now)✨

Today I cleaned for R. I had a slightly different list than usual. I didn’t clean parts of the upstairs bathroom because she had already cleaned them, for example. I decided to switch things up with my listening selection. While I cleaned I listened to Rhett and Link’s podcast Ear Biscuits on Spotify. I hadn’t listened to them in a while because I’ve been enjoying cleaning while listening to my library audiobooks, but I remembered that they do special sex themed episodes during the month of September called Sextember so I checked those out.

I really enjoy those episodes of Ear Biscuits. I enjoyed What Are Our Sex Lives Like? (Ep. 395).

I listened to half of EP. 394 Kinks We’ve Tried (Or Will Try) but it was also funny. I only listened to half because I had finished cleaning by then, nothing against them. I plan on finishing it sometime soon.

I want to go on a little bit of a Rhett and Link tangent lol. I have been watching Rhett and Link’s content ever since I was first given access to YouTube. I was introduced to them when I stumbled across their video Squirrel Rights Song.

I have watched Rhett and Link videos at many varying points in my life. Sometimes almost religiously watching uploads, other times forgetting about them for a year until I’m recommended an interesting Good Mythical Morning segment by the YouTube algorithm.

Their videos are just a safe place for me. I have definitely looked up to Rhett and Link as father figures in my life when my dad wasn’t there when I needed him. Rhett and Link had time for me every morning lol. That was enough to leave a good impression on me. I even wrote to them back in the day and drew something of me and my friend meeting Rhett and Link lol. I was 17 and she was 15 at the time lol. Looking back, I’m sure if I actually ended up sending them my letters/package that the drawing of the two grown men standing next to two teenage girls would probably be creepy lol. Maybe it was a good thing those letters stayed in my sentiment box.

I loved the first Good Mythical Evening. I paid for it so my friend and I could watch it together. My friend C is also a long-time fan of Rhett and Link.

I just have enjoyed their content and how it’s changed over the years. I loved the small town commercials, the rap battles, the many GMM changes and skits that have stuck with me throughout the years (Moolissa, Cotton Candy Randy✨). I have a lot of good memories with their content.

But anyways done talking about that lol.

I went to this coffee shop by my work and got myself a special coffee to celebrate going to work today. I really contemplated calling in sick today but I knew in my bones I needed to get it over with.

A few days ago I tried to get coffee from this place and I didn’t have enough money to get the coffee, so i apologized and left the drive thru coffeeless. I thought I had enough but I was $2 short. Today I asked to pay for 2 coffees and only get 1 to make up for my grievance. They were nice about it.

It felt really good to pay for the coffee I couldn’t have earlier. I got myself some lunch and dropped some things off at a donation center near me before going back home for the day.

I played more BG3 today lol. Started watching this alien movie called Arrival. It’s pretty good so far. I have just been trying to take it easy since today was my “hardest” day of the week. Hard meaning most physically exhausting I would say.

Tomorrow is engagement photos. I’m so so nervous but excited. I know I’m fat and I’ll look fat so I’m trying to brace myself. Fat doesn’t equal bad. I am fat and that’s okay. I’m beautiful because of me and everything that I am. Mantra for photos ✨ I’m excited for my mom and maybe nana to see our venue too.

I’ll end this post with some marigolds from our garden. Ignore the dirt lol.

[thefanficmonster]

Filterless

Corpse Husband x Plus-sized Reader (Female)

Warnings: Body Image Insecurities, Low self-esteem, Swearing

Genre:  Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Feeling comfortable in her skin has hardly ever been the case for Y/N who’s been struggling with body image issues all her life. However, they only get worse when she sees the ‘type’ of girls her crush is into.

Requested by Anon. Hi darling! Thank you so much for your request (hits close to home 😅) I’m so sorry it has taken me so long to fulfill it and post it but here it finally is and if you’ve stuck around long enough to read it, I hope you enjoy! ALSO! - Never forget how beautiful and amazing you are. Never compare your beauty to someone else’s. We’re all beautiful people and we all shine so brightly and uniquely. No one deserves to be compared to anyone when we’re all so different yet so incredible. Love you and appreciate you with all my heart, Vy ❤

If I ever need my ego taken down a few notches - it never does, it’s barely even present, to be honest - all I have to do is go on Instagram. To be honest, regardless of how I’m feeling, opening that app is bound to make my mood plummet and come crashing into the ground so hard it drives a hole in it - probably in the form of a broken heart.

Being a content creator myself, I often get asked questions about my absence on that social platform specifically. I mean, the questions are based and rational I guess, considering I’m not a faceless YouTuber and yet my Instagram account is void of any photos. It’s not like I don’t post at all - I do! I post on my story often but it’s more often than not scenery I find pretty or a poster I’ve made for a movie/video game. Bottom line is: I barely ever allow a picture of me to make it online. The most my fans are ever gonna get of me is a selfie which is also a super rare occurrence because of how long it takes me to take and choose one I don’t hate.

Ok, but how am I supposed to find the motivation to post any sort of picture of myself when on my timeline I’m always faced with people worthy of posting pictures of themselves. People with such perfect bodies and beautiful faces. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not jealous or envious of those people - good for them! They know what they’re working with and they’re working it well. I have nothing against them, in fact, I love seeing people proud of their bodies no matter their size, shape or weight. Those are my role-models: people who are proud of themselves, their bodies, their attributes and capabilities and don’t hesitate to show them off. Those are the people I look up to but, deep down inside I know I’ll never be like.

Insecure about my body, having been referred to as ‘chubby’ and ‘squishy’ all my life. Inappreciative of the stuff I do: starting from my job as a graphic designer leading towards my job on YouTube - nothing I do, professionally or otherwise, satisfies me. Nothing I do is enough in my eyes because I feel incapable of ever being able to do enough. I’ve been called lazy and a half-asser a few too many times to be able to brush it off as a meaningless insult. 

With these problems I’ve had with myself and my own perception of who I am and the work I do, I’ve never had the time for romance or romantic relationships. I second-guess the intentions of everyone who ever shows any interest in me because in my mind I’m nothing special and I have nothing to offer - nothing attractive or likable at least. That being said, I haven’t even been one to make heart eyes at others either. I busy myself with my job and some side-gigs, brushing off any relationship questions with the excuse that I’m ‘just too busy to be in a relationship’ which is technically true.

Having spent twenty plus years with that mindset, one can imagine how surprised I was when I found myself catching feelings for someone. And that someone just couldn’t be any other than the biggest YouTube sensation at the moment - Corpse Husband.

I’m close friends with Poki - her and I were roommates at one point too - so her inviting me to play Among Us with them wasn’t so strange. One or two games, I thought, nothing unusual there, just friendly curtesy. I wasn’t expecting to warm up to the group of famous streamers nor did I expect them to welcome me among them so easily, mostly because my channel is so small and practically invisible to the YouTube algorithm. But soon enough, I became a permanent member of the team, making friends with every single one of those YouTubers I practically thought of a celebrities.

This journey of branching out to other content creators has proven itself to be surprisingly pleasant and has packed my book of friendships to the brim. All of that came unexpectedly, along with a wave of new subs and a higher view count. However, as I mentioned, it hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows. I came to finally understand what my high school friends were talking about when they were head over heels for a boy - the butterflies in the stomach whenever he speaks your name; the importance of the laugh you share with him, how special and different it is; how cool it is to be impostors with him - ok they never said that, obviously, but it’s what I have as a substitute to the ‘when the two of you make eye-contact’ bullshit since Corpse and I have never seen each other in person. That is, of course, because of him being a faceless YouTuber and me being a self-conscious and insecure girl.

We do talk all the time though - texting, calling, chilling on Discord, you name it. Our conversations range from deeply philosophical to ones that might mislead someone into thinking we’re high. There’s no topic we haven’t touched upon and yet we still manage to find something new to talk about. We have plenty of similarities but we also never seem to run out of differences we slowly come across as we keep getting to know each other better and better. 

And somewhere along that journey I ended up catching feelings.

Human nature of wanting to connect with other people, I curse you for what you’ve done to me.

You might think I’m being overdramatic about the whole ordeal and that this is just a normal, natural occurrence many people experience in their life - some even daily. Well, not only am I far from used to it, but it’s also taking a toll of a different kind on me.

It’s like a constant slap to the face. 

That slap turned into a punch when Corpse and I started following each other on Instagram and I started getting daily reminders of how out of my depth I am with this crush on him. In over my head, especially when you look at all those girls whose pics and videos he reposts on his story. Imagine how that makes me feel, what that does to me - puts me back into the ‘Constantly not good enough‘ basket, the one I’ve been fighting to get out of all my life. In the past and in different contexts I could easily say that it was all just my mind hating me intensely but now - now that I know for a fact I’m not good enough and don’t fit Corpse’s criteria - it hurts ten times as much. I’m not one to do shit for someone’s attention or to attract someone’s eyes, but it really hurts my feelings. Often times, it also leads me to doing dumb things and making rash decisions. 

Like the one I made two days ago.

Imagine me cringing and shaking my head at my own stupidity as I admit this: I, in a frenzy, ordered a whole e-girl getup with overnight delivery. 

Wait, hold up, it gets worse. 

I received it yesterday and spent the whole day regretting that decision, but then, in my most insecure hours - which was somewhere around midnight - I equipped the get-up, took a picture and posted it on my Instagram page. First full body pic I’ve ever posted on there. First pic I’ve posted there of any kind. There to stay, not to be gone in twenty four hours. First pic, and it’s not even of me. It’s of who I want to be in order to fit someone’s criteria. And that fucking stings.

As you might imagine, I’ve spent today’s day regretting that decision as well. Recently my mood’s been nothing but regretting rash decisions that have surfaced under the influence of my ridiculous, constantly-present insecurities. And I would’ve probably gotten over it rather quickly had I not received a message from Corpse that read:

“Didn’t think of you with an e-girl aesthetic“

I didn’t open the message, I peeped at it as it was a notification on my lock screen. It’s still there, an unread notification. It’s been two hours since I received it and I cannot think of a single thing to say in response to that. 

Truth is, I’m afraid. I’m afraid of so many things right now.

I’m afraid of becoming that girl in the photo, cause I’m most definitely not her.

I’m afraid of letting Corpse down by admitting I’m not her.

I’m afraid of what my own mind has made me do because it hates me so much and I’m terrified of what it might do in the future.

I’m afraid and stranded on things to do.

You can’t be her forever, you know. Being her won’t make your insecurities go away, it’ll only make them worse. Haven’t you learned that by now?

I sigh, frustrated and irritated with myself as I grab my phone and tap on the notification, finally deciding to face the music and allow my instincts to carry me through the interaction. Improvisation, that’s one of the few things I’m good at. Let’s hope it doesn’t fail me.

I’m just about to type out my response - not sure what it’s gonna say - when I give the message Corpse has sent me a second glance.  I furrow my brows, finding there’s more to it than that peep through the notification let me see.

“Didn’t think of you with an e-girl aesthetic. You’re personality is so bright and colorful, I could’ve never imagined you were into the darks and blacks“

Because I’m not

I fail to realize until the message has been sent that my thoughts are exactly what I typed out and sent.

And honestly, I’m glad. It feels like I’ve spoken my truth, like I’ve lifted a huge boulder off my chest.

With that rare confidence in mind I go on and delete the picture.

In its spot, I post a picture I just now took - a mirror selfie in my homey get-up consisting of hot pink sweatpants and an oversized blue tee, my hair in a messy bun, my face free of make-up.

I caption it: ‘Oops, had the e-girl filter on for the last one. This is filterless me tho so...Hi 🥴’

A lot better, I’m surprised to hear my inner voice say. I hope I don’t get used to all this kindness on my brain’s part, probably won’t last, but damn if I don’t milk every second of it.

Just then, I receive a new message from non other than Corpse.

“Now that’s the girl I see when I think of you. She’s super cute 😉“

My, oh my, who would’ve guessed Corpse has a game like that - and by that I mean the ability to make me blush so intensely with only a text message.

Now ain’t that better than being someone else, Y/N?

It sure is, it sure is.

@maat-the-prescriptive  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @itsminniekat  @hacker-ghost  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams @solowheein  @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01  @buddyemily   @the-albino-lioness  @stardream14  @gdhdkfnn  @nomadicgypsyy  @preciousskye  @fluffysuicideunicornsworld  @o-kaelin  @manacharlotte  @awkward-youtube-trash  @lolalee24  @bonky-beerns  @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian  @strawbrinkofdeath  @teenloves  @tams0527  @browneyespinkhair  @starstruckllamapuppy  @daisychains012  @y0ulooked  @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life  @jula-pauline  @melodykitty  @just-that-bi-girl  @crazybutconfidentaf  @lowellshade @alphakees  @bellero  @weallneednamjesus  @starryhanji  @boiled-onionrings  @husherstan  @fockingwhore  @melaningoddessthings  @prettypastelpetals  @haleypearce  @godwhyamiawkward  @y-napotat  @daisychainyoonmin  @little-miss-rebel3  @free-wheelin-bi-sexual  @redmoon261 @darkacademic2  @wiseflamingoqueen  @into-the-end  @namikhai-i  @nastiablr  @thelittleplantlover  @mirktuan  @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny  @vintagegothlover  @easygoingtheatre  @itsrandombooklover  @miiaivi  @emmybaybee  @befourgolden  @jjk-is-my-shit  @eternalteaaars  @spacebadgerx  @princesslunalight  @acequinn14  @samm48  @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa  @fo-love  @marishimomura-blog  @therealglenncoco  @cinnamonbun332  @killtherandomness  @sanshinexxxsan  @fee-btheweeb  @press-lay  @cathleenpotgieter16  @jazzydoesstuff  @moonlxghtbay  @forestrain2000  @hyunjinhugs  @blood-of-fandoms  @lovellylies  @ukiyolixx  @simpforhpcharacters  @chrisdylan17  @parkerjisung  @pedernille  @theodonyous  @wineandionysus  @malfoystilinskii05  @morbid-x  @coryisagee  @jessewa26  @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365  @raeanneinwonderland  @indecisive-empanada  @gluttonypalace  @loriane2503  @btsiguess-kpop  @khaoticbunny  @lucidlycactus  @smiithys  @rottenroyalebooks  @kpopgirlbtssvt  @fangirl-tc27  @fr0z3n-1  @notmesimpingfortechno  @shotarosleftpinky  @kunoi-chan  @idk-whats-wrong-with-me  @yikeroonie  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @poetry-and-tea  @ama-do-writing-stuff  @wishbonewolf  @emeraldxhope  @t0xick1tty  @kusuinko  @speakyourselfloveyourself  @sophia902103  @lo-manburg  @classsykittykat  @dmgama  @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee  @btsiguess-kpop  @akaashi-baby  @gun-jong-simp  @geschichtenfee  @yerapotato-wp  @browneyedgirl365  @thysagclub  @sparklycloudnight  @helloatomicshadow  @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal  @lucy-bunny17  @aaliyahh0  @katluckybear  @boyleanti  @straybids  @franchesca-791  @cosmicstorm19  @averyisbackinthetrashcan  @aomi-nabi  @xlanawriter  @allensimpsforcorpse

[omenapologist-moved]

I believe negative social atttitudes towards different sexualities, genders, morality, paraphilias, and more are either the root cause of or contribute to some subsets of OCD.

This got longer than I expected. CW for talking about mental illness, detransitioning, and pedophilia. I don’t go into graphic detail about CSA, for what it’s worth, but I know some people will be upset regardless so I felt the need to add a disclaimer.

so, sexual orientation obsessive compulsive disorder or SO-OCD (formerly known as HOCD; homosexual obsessive compulsive disorder or just “gay ocd” but considering anyone of any sexuality can be affected by this SO-OCD makes more sense) in my opinion only exists as a product of a homophobic society. I do not think, for the most part, people would develop an obsessive fear about whether or not they are gay if it were accepted and a non-issue like how being straight is. as someone with OCD myself, it targets that which is important to us and doesn’t exist in a vacuum. 

At the start of my transition, I began developing obsessive thoughts surrounding my gender identity. What if I’m not actually trans? What if I’m wrong and I need to detransition? What if I’m just a fucked up and confused girl? and so on, even though I have always experienced acute physical dysphoria, feel a lot better about myself when I’m referred to with masculine language, and transitioning in general has made me happier and more comfortable in my body than ever before. That’s the nature of the illness. It distorts our cognition and hyperfixates on the uncertainty of things. There is no set-in-stone way to well and truly know your gender or sexuality, because these things are extremely fluid and personal and influenced by your environment, as is the case with social constructs.

Now, why would I be so troubled by this? If I am wrong and I decide to detransition, sure, I’ll have more body hair and a deeper voice and, come november, a flat chest, but all of these things have solutions, too. It isn’t the end of the world, or my life, if I detransition, but I most likely won’t! But the reason I was developing these obsessions is honestly pretty simple. At the time, I placed my own gender and transition at very, very high importance, someone I had previously been close to began detransitioning, and the fucking Youtube algorithm of all things began recommending me the vlogs of several detransitioned FTMTF people. But most pertinently, the pervasive attitude in most circles that detransitioning is the worst possible thing ever and is life-ending and you’re going to be ruined forever if you’re wrong about your gender. All of this created a cocktail of self-doubt in me. 

I’ve gotten a lot better, and fortunately those obsessions didn’t swing fully into a gender-focused OCD, but I know that isn’t the case for everyone, and I’m getting a little off topic here, anyway.

POCD, or pedophilia obsessive compulsive disorder, must be a living hell. POCD is the obsessive fear that you are or might become a pedophile. Here’s a pretty good source talking about POCD in better detail. I need to make it explicitly clear that people with POCD are not pedophiles.

I think in no small part those who struggle with this subset of OCD are made worse by society’s attitude towards pedophilia. That being, even if you never hurt a child ever, even if it remains only within the realm of your thoughts, a pedophile is the worst possible thing you can ever be, and if you even think about attraction to a minor you should be subject to an endless barrage of increasingly creative means of violence and execution. 

But here’s the thing. You can’t control having a paraphilia. You don’t get to just opt out of it, as convenient as that may be. I don’t believe we should condemn an entire swath of people, notably those who have done no harm, because they have a paraphilia they did not choose to have. This attitude hurts these people directly and absolutely does not help cut down on sex crimes against minors. Because rather than being able to pursue help, they hide it, and keep it to themselves, and it festers and worsens like an infected blister until eventually it pops, and the aftermath causes suffering for all.

And not only does this attitude hurt people with this paraphilia, not only does it not help in “protecting the children”, it hurts people who do not have the paraphilia; those with POCD. I’ve been in OCD forums and I have seen people struggling so fucking hard with the complete and utter self-loathing brought about by POCD, and what hurts even more is that more often than not they cannot talk about it in fear of losing their jobs, their families, their friends, and their livelihoods. Which, coincidentally is the exact same issue this attitude inflicts on those who are pedophiles. Isn’t it shocking that stigma doesn’t incentivize people to ask for help, nor does it make anything better? 

I am not saying we should ~normalize pedophilia~ or whatever, rather, we shouldn’t have this disgusting attitude towards them of “kill on sight!” and should instead try to figure out what helps these people without having minors hurt. All too often I see self-identified prison abolitionists and harm reductionists calling for the imprisonment or death of these people, and that shows me that you don’t actually want prisons to be abolished or to do the least amount of harm. You just want to be the wardens, the ones able to deal out the harm because you think yourself to be right and just. And that way of thinking simply is not in line with anarchism, and honestly, leftism in general. 

[cantsaythetword]

Let Nature Take It’s Course!

~A/N  - HALLO!

Damn I’ve been back to writing a lot today. This one is from a while back when me and one of my best friends (thegirlIhavebeencrushingonforlike2yearsnow) were at her place watching stuff and started messing around with one of those head massager things 

(these things

you know the ones)

and just TWORDY TIMES HAPPENED.

So of course I turned it into a fic, with a little added bit at the end for something I nglreallywishhappenedbutohwell...

Also this is my first MJ and Peter fic (i think)! So lemme know if y’all like it. 

Love you all, I am proud of you, you are doing great <3

- Enoy! ~

When Peter had agreed to a late night study session, he never expected this.

To be at MJ’s house, 5 hours later, watching wild, wacky, and wonderful youtube videos at 3 O’Clock in the morning. 

Yup. They had entered a spiral into the weird side of youtube. And they weren’t getting out of it any time soon. Sure, the first few hours had been productive. They had snacks, laptops out, tea, everything they needed for a night of assignment writing and content memorising. But now, well... They had just finished a video about the Pompeii explosion, and the youtube algorithm had decided that the Bermuda Triangle would be next.

Of course. That’s a logical progression. 

In preparation of the next 10 minutes of mind blowing conspiracies, MJ had decided to get comfy. Meaninglessly lying back against her best friend’s chest.

The best friend in question, however, found this anything but meaningless.

Peter’s heart began to race. Having MJ so close to him was both comforting and exhilarating. His hands grew sweaty, knees weak (arms are heav- ok I’m sorry I’ll stop...), and he just couldn’t concentrate on the video playing in front of him. His thoughts and eyes would just continually drift back to the girl beside him. Something about her kept her in his head, over and over again she ricocheted in his mind like a game of ping pong. And nothing he could would stop it.

In an attempt to stop himself staring at his crush, he let his eyes wander around her bedroom. Not in a creepy way, of course, just to distract himself enough so he didn’t disturb her (or draw attention to himself). It was only the second time Peter had been in MJ’s house, after all, and he couldn’t help but have a bit of a look around.

There was the regular things - posters, pictures of family and friends, jackets, etc. etc., all stuff you’d expect to find in someone’s room.

Then there was the slightly stranger stuff. Like the toy cat they had found for a Halloween costume a year earlier. Or the giraffe onesie that matched Peter's which she had found for a PJ party.  

But none of that was what interested Peter, oh no. As his eyes locked on to a rather interesting object in MJ’s hairbrush holder, he nonchalantly reached over to grab it. It was time for some fun, and thankfully MJ didn’t realise what he was up to. 

With the poise and grace of a... graceful person... he slowly brought his arm back towards him and held the head scratcher over MJ’s relaxed form. Lining up the spokes around her head, he brought it down slowly onto her. 

Oh this was even better than he had imagined.

Her body seemed to seize up immediately, eyes scrunching shut in an adorable grimace, and he could tell there was a threat of giggles gathering in her throat. He gently raised and lowered it a few times, each movement causing her to jerk and shudder in a more entertaining and endearing manner, the smile never leaving her face. 

“Peheh- Pete...” She winced and gasped with each tickly motion. “Cuhu- cut ihit- OUt!”

Eventually he gave her a moment of repose, and she shoved his hands away and gave him a glare.  

“Peter.” She said in a threatening tone, but the boy was way too giddy with himself to notice. 

”What?” He grinned. “It can’t be that bad, can it?”

“Oh, how about you try it then?”

Peter’s face morphed from a teasing smirk to a nervous, open-mouthed smile. He shook his head repeatedly, continuously moving the hand holding the head scratcher so MJ couldn’t grab it off him. The shit-eating grin returned, however, when she gave up and sat back upright to face him.

“Not so brave now are you?” She huffed, giving him a jab to the ribs.

Uh oh.

With the singular small squeak and dramatic flinch, Peter had just signed himself up for a whole world of trouble. And from the look in MJ’s eyes, she wasn’t looking for a further invitation.

Shit.

She dove onto Peter, forcing him onto his back against the mattress, and began to squeeze her hands into his sides.

He gasped and shrieked, making every effort to stay quiet and not give in to his bubbling laughter, the last thing he wanted was to wake her parents. 

“Come on Peter!” She teased in a sing-songy voice. “It can’t be thaaaat bad.”

“Shuhuhut uHUp!” He squeaked, giggles pouring out of his mouth despite his best efforts to stop them. 

Her fingers were like little tickle machines, perfectly dancing over his ribs in the most torturous way possible, and there was nothing Peter could do about it. Sure he could fight off 5 bad guys at a time with his hands behind his back, but the second anyone wriggled a hand at him he was curled up in the fetal position laughing his head off. 

Ribs, tummy, sides, hips, they all blended into one agonisingly sensitive zone as MJ continued her relentless attack. Once she felt Peter was sufficiently tickled out, she grabbed the head scratcher out of his hand and held it in front of her threateningly. 

“Nononono MJ please!” Peter begged, giggles still getting out of his system. “I can’t tAKE IHIHIT!” 

MJ wasn’t going to take no for an answer, 

Managing to scratch at his head, causing hilarious sputters and squirms out of Peter, she let out a chuckle of her own. Bringing his hands up to block another onslaught, she resorted to another target.

Oh boy was that a good choice.

If Peter’s head was ticklish, his knee was even worse. His leg kicked out and spasmed with every slight movement, and she had managed to land herself on top of his thigh so could easily keep him pinned while torturing him.

Through his teary-eyed laughter, Peter latched into MJ’s armpits, sending her tumbling to the side of him and giving him the opportunity to grab the massager of doom. 

“My turn!” He said through gulps of air, laying on her legs and slowly trailing the scratcher down the sides of her knee. 

She squealed and thrashed behind him but he refused to let go. When her arm got caught underneath him, he moved on to her elbow. Sawing the spokes up and down the length of her arm. While it wasn’t as bad as her knee, it still tickled like crazy, causing her hand to flail around as he moved. 

“Got you now!” He grinned cockily.

Perhaps a little too cockily. 

In his over-confident state, he released some of the pressure keeping MJ trapped, giving her the opportunity to escape his clutches, grab the scratcher, and shove it down onto his shoulder. 

The tingly, tickly sensations shot down his chest and over his back, his body practically vibrating like she had just shot him with a tazer. He collapsed into her and giggled helplessly as she cooed down at him.

“Awwww, someone a little ticklish here huh?” She smirked, adding her fingernails against his neck to increase the sensation. 

His head slammed down towards his shoulder, but it couldn’t block out the sensations. It was just too much, and he was just lying there taking it. He had to act fast if he wanted revenge before he was too tired to do anything. 

Quickly spinning himself around, he sat himself up and readied for battle. Both of them with hands outstretched in claws, waiting for the right time to strike. Peter went first, aiming to tickle all over her exposed neck. She squeaked, shoving her hands into his now wide-open armpits. The two were locked in a tickly tangle, both fighting to ensure the other’s surrender. 

As MJ reached with one hand for the head scratcher, Peter kicked off the bed to get a better angle of attack, and the pair of them went tumbling off the side of the bed.

Landing with a soft “oof”, Peter looked down to realise he was now on top of a still giggly MJ. 

“Sorry...” He blushed, frozen in both embarrassment and infatuation. He broke eye contact for a while, wondering how best to approach the situation. Before he had a chance to think, however, something grabbed at his shirt. The collar tugged his neck downwards, head lowering towards the ground, his eyes turned to face the girl below him and OH MY GOD...!

MJ’s lips met his.

Though it lasted for mere seconds, Peter could feel his body exploding like fireworks. Electricity zapping through his veins, fogging up his brain and relaxing every bone in his body. As she pulled away and he opened his eyes, it was like the room had been blasted with a bright light. There was a shine in his gaze, adoration reflecting through his pupils. He gently brushed the hair from her face and smiled down at her, before lowering his head for another soft kiss.

He fell right into her trap.

As their lips connected, MJ slowly reached for her weapon and plunged it through Peter’s soft, mossy brown curls. She could feel his mouth contort into a helpless giggle of betrayal as he pulled away and fell to her right. He playfully batted her hand away and sat upright to recover.

“You jerk.” He laughed, giving her a playful shove.

“You started it, asshole.” She smirked, shoving him right back. 

The pair locked eyes for a moment, a spark flickering between them, before launching into another round of tickle attacks again.

Ah, young love.

[fandoms-ruin-life]

Adding onto all this ao3 discourse, because I know that this is one of the main sticklers for people’s gripes about fandom in general, not just ao3- RPF. Now, you can have your own opinion on this or whatever, but it’s always going to be out there and ao3 is amazing for this. The main argument against it that I’ve seen, is that the real people feel uncomfortable about it. (Again, this is a case-by-case basis and jfc I’m not about to get into *that* argument here), but with ao3 that doesn’t matter.

For the person to even see it, they would have to be actively searching for it, and in my opinion, whatever they feel about it after that is entirely on them. With Tumblr, for instance, the fics find themselves in the main tags and it’s very easy for them to see it, even if they don’t want to, so the RPF argument holds much more weight. But Ao3 is a safe haven where it allows people to express themselves and write what they want but also protects the original people in the process.

You can have this ‘purity culture’ and argue about what people should or shouldn’t write until the end of time, but the thing is... people will always just write what they want to. And to be honest, telling them *not* to will more than likely just make them double down on their decision to do so and make them find sneakier ways of putting their fics out there.This just means no content warnings, aka how the hell are you meant to avoid it???

Instead of this weird crusade against ao3′s policies of not interfering, shouldn’t we rather be pushing the need for good tagging practice?

Tags are amazing, and ao3 have given us all the tools required to block anything that simply annoys us, let alone something that actively triggers us. The main reason ao3 will always be superior to me over sites that regulate work like ff.net is *because* of the tags.

Over the years I’ve personally seen a few fics that I rather wouldn’t have seen because the person didn’t tag properly, and yes it sucked, but it also didn’t come close to the amount of times it happened when I still used ff.net regularly.

Also, go to any library or bookstore in existance, do you see many (if any) content warnings? Surely this means ao3 goes above and beyond in this instance? I have a much better idea of what I’m getting myself into when I sit down to read something from this site than I do in any other place that I know about.

It is very easy to just avoid anything that would affect us personally, for whatever reason you may hold. In my opinion, *that* is a far better way of running a site than having someone use their personal morals to decide what is right or wrong.

Think of it this way. People in other posts have mentioned Nazi apologism as an example, and this actually works really well for my argument so I’m going to continue in that vein. It’s simple isn’t it? Nazi = bad ---> Nazi in good light therefore also bad.

But how do you draw the line between an actual Nazi and someone just writing a horrible character/making a satirical piece?

There’s a musical on youtube called Spies Are Forever by the Tin Can Brothers, and there is a song in it called ‘Not So Bad’. Pretty standard, right? Except no, because the main line in the song is “Nazi’s are not so bad”... so judging by the earlier standards, this show should be removed, right?

Except also no. Because when watching it, it is clearly satirical in design and the actor who sings it is Jewish. But on paper, or just by looking at a tag and seeing ‘Nazi’, how would you be able to tell that this is something that shouldn’t be deleted had it been on ao3 and ao3 deleted fics based on an algorithm or similar?

So once again, I ask, where do you draw the line? You may say, ‘well satire is clearly different than Nazi apoligism’ and I would say yes, of course it is. But also, why aren’t people allowed to write/explore dark media in a dark manner?

Hannibal is a relatively popular show, with a pretty strong following on here, but no one is saying that anything that is portrayed in that show is *right*. Murder and cannibalism are quite clearly bad, after all, but it is also portrayed as a beautiful thing because we are seeing how the characters view it.

And honestly, I think my entire ramble can just come under this point: Characters do not equal the author’s thoughts on the subject.

Let people explore the dark and depraved, they’re going to anyway, no posts talking about how it’s “so bad” will stop them, because newsflash- they already know the subject is bad. Ao3 allows you to curate your experience of the site to your taste, and if you choose not to take them up on that opportunity, then that is not on them.

TL:DR- Tags are good and we should be pushing the importance of good tagging practice over ao3′s content policies

[dayanaaa2021]

Blog post week 4 due 9/16

Are zodiac signs the “new Jim code”? How will this influence society, specifically minorities?

I think zodiac signs are beginning to be the “new Jim code.” If names can have a powerful impact on how society judges and determine your life, then someone’s astrological sign will too. For example, an individual is a judge based on the first appearance, including their name. A follow-up question is typical “when is your birthday,” which provides someone’s zodiac sign. Furthermore, specific individuals will not want to get to know someone because their zodiac sign is “toxic,” “manipulative,” “selfish,” “too caring,” or “too emotional.” I think zodiac signs intertwine with names. If society denies or favors someone else because of their name, what makes you feel a zodiac sign will be different. Another example of the zodiac having similar power as names is when my manager hired someone because he loved that the individual was a Scorpio. In other words, minorities will never win. Something new will contribute to injustice treatment. It will be harder for minorities to have the same opportunity as the privileged if zodiac signs and names play a role.

Is it an algorithm error, or does society not want to own up to its mistakes?

I think it’s rare when an algorithm error happens. I believe that individuals don’t want to own up to their mistakes. For example, in the reading, there was an example of a google search engine for “black girls” where inappropriate images appeared. I think the individuals have limited power to oversee the internet because there are hackers and coders. In other words, errors can happen and be override. However, an algorithm error does not occur when the News station decides to show mugshot for minorities while showing a loving picture for the whites. Do News stations blame themselves or the algorithm? News stations blame the algorithm. Will the “algorithm error” be fixed? No, it will not. The news station will continue using mugshots for minorities. On the other hand, the internet is full of miscellaneous things, so it will never be clean; however, the internet needs to be established for minorities. The internet cannot decide to target minorities and be perfect for the Whites.

How do African American women get overlooked in the fashion industry? Does intersectionality play a role?

African American women get overlooked by not getting credit for their work or not having the same exposure as the rest. Social media glorifies fashion by white men and women but ignores style by African Americans. Why? I think the reason is that African Americans do not fit the typical beauty standards white men hold. Furthermore, if an African American woman wears the same outfit as a white woman, it will not get the same exposure. If an African American woman wears an iconic outfit at the Met Gala, it'll go unnoticed or be called "ugly"; however, it'll be praised if a white female wears it. I think intersectionality plays a role in the fashion industry. I believe everyone else is privileged, and African American women are fighting against equality, racism, sexism, etc. Furthermore, I don't think society knows what intersectionality is because society tends to talk about one issue, such as racism, and not how it intersects with other discrimination. For example, these women are ignored because their gender, race, and culture. No one else can relate to them which makes it harder being in the industry.

How has the digital divide affected someone’s education?

The digital divide theory has a significant impact on someone’s education. Everett portrayed the idea that there’s a social gap between society and access to the internet. As technology evolves, human capital increases; however, not everyone has the same opportunity. Lower-income families may not have the funds to afford Wi-Fi or a laptop. The family has a lower chance of being as experienced as the rest.

Furthermore, if a lower-income family sends their children to a public school, their education will not be superior because the school isn’t ranked number one. Since the school isn’t rated number one, the education provided will be slightly different due to their resources. In other words, the digital divide theory can affect someone’s education and future.

Everett, A. (2002). The revolution will be digitized. Social Text, 20(2), 125–146. https://doi.org/10.1215/01642472-20-2_71-125

Benjamin, R. (2019). Race after TECHNOLOGY: ABOLITIONIST tools for the New Jim Code.

Social Forces, 98(4), 1–3. https://doi.org/10.1093/sf/soz162

National Association of Independent Schools (2018, June 22). Kimberlé Crenshaw: What is Intersectionality? [Video]. Youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViDtnfQ9FHc

Noble, S. U. (2018). Algorithms of oppression. https://doi.org/10.2307/j.ctt1pwt9w5

#CSUFWGST320BADDIES

[cherryronpa]

i don’t tend to post stuff like this here - i try to keep my art blog a happy environment. but i do feel like i do need to talk about my burnout somewhere where it’s more difficult to ignore. if you’re just here for the pretty picture, here it is. the talk about my burnout and mental health, however, is under the cut (be warned, there’s talk of burnout, depression, and suicide)

i hold a pretty privileged position not really bestowed upon many danganronpa fans - i have an audience of 22.5k subscribers that grows steadily by dozens every day, near-guaranteed 10k+ views on new videos so long as youtube censorship isn’t throwing one of its characteristic shitfits, and dozens of die-hard fans. i should be at the top of my game.

and yet i feel burned out. 

i feel like i’ve only produced 5 “real” videos over the course of the year. youtube’s algorithm demands constant uploads, however i cannot sustainably upload analysis videos every week; it’s quite literally impossible. scripting takes time, voiceover takes time, editing takes a LOT of time (like, 60-70% of a video’s creation time is the editing). i can’t put out my videos weekly, and the youtube algorithm doesn’t appreciate that and shunts my videos if i disappear for more than a week - so i tend to intercut giant videos with tiny little memes that take maybe an hour to produce. they do cause the main video to take a little longer to produce, but miniscule amounts (like, maybe an extra 3-5 hours per large video). 

however i’m starting to become more known for these little cursed skit videos that i put zero thought and maybe one effort into, rather than the analysis or rewrite videos i pour my heart and soul into for several weeks at a time. every single analysis video i’ve put out has turned up less and less views, even if it’s a video that the algorithm and youtube should be promoting to high hell (eg. i feel like a video where I rank every trial in Danganronpa should be a video Youtube promotes the hell out of to anyone with danganronpa as a recommended topic). it makes me wonder why i even bother at all to analyse this series i love and to share that love with the world, when simply making surface-level tithes that return the same 6 comments over and over again seems to be the appeal. 

even with a description talking about the burnout and my frustration with the situation, most people didn’t even read it. even some of my own friends didn’t until i pointed it out. 224 comments, and maybe 3-4 actually talk about the description and what i described. the rest are the same jokes everyone else already said 30 times, and even i don’t find them funny anymore.

people’s advice doesn’t seem to work either; “i appreciate your analyses!” and “you should focus on what you want to make!” are indeed people trying their best to make me feel better. but the truth is, when i do make what i want, i don’t see the results i want. trying to get an analysis video to break the views in a week that a dumb little meme video gets over two days is consistently heart-wrenching to watch. ‘i appreciate your analyses’ is a very much minority opinion - the majority of people who watch my content do not care about them. and to watch weeks of your work essentially go to waste over and over again, once again, makes me wonder why i’m even bothering. 

it’s very clear i’m at a stage where i can no longer relate to my general audience. the advice provided is rarely from the standpoint of someone who actually goes through what I do. it’s a very much privileged problem to go through, i don’t deny that - but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a problem. no amount of “oh, the youtube algorithm/the fandom is just horrible, you keep being you!” is going to actually FIX the issues. i know the youtube algorithm is horrible, i have to actually deal with it censoring my videos constantly. telling me that youtube or the fandom are screwed up just annoys me now - despite my atrocious memory problems, it’s one of the few things i do actually remember.

i’ve watched my mental health take a nosedive over the course of the year, and i’m sure this would’ve happened even without COVID-19. where i was once almost completely able to cope with my depression and anxiety and it was rarely ever a problem, where i once believed i did in fact have worth, the recent months have caused me to spiral right back into that depression. even though im at the most successful i’ve ever been, i feel completely worthless because that success is built on the literal scraps i throw off the cutting room floor rather than the videos that receive my honest love, my honest thoughts, and the time that i wanted to give them. i wanted the fandom to see just how amazing these things either were or could have been. instead the fandom is more interested in exclusively characters swearing or whatever cursed bullshit my manic-depression-addled brain decides to create when it opens vegas pro and slams its fists against the keyboard.

that mental health slip has not only put me back in severe risks for depression, anxiety, and stress, worse than they’ve ever been, but it’s returned me to suicidal thoughts. the anxiety of the future of my channel, the anxiety of losing interest in danganronpa over this and this entire year having built up to absolutely nothing, have made me seriously question if i might take my own life. i do have something that will likely stop me from doing so, but i’m not comfortable revealing what it is, and i likely never will be.

i apologise if anything harsh or harmful was said - i really am grateful for what i have, and that’s why this all feels so selfish. i’m not grateful enough for what i already have - despite knowing i should be.

[roaringup]

—this post got weirdly long so I’m cutting part of it—

That appointment I had to attend to get cleared for work was just a blood draw in a cubicle for testing TB status and MMR antibodies. I didn’t know what to expect, but I guess that was unintimidating. I’d half imagined someone in a white coat asking me weird ableist stuff about whether I can lift 20 pounds or whatever.

I’d also wondered if there might be a drug test. Maybe there would have been if I’d had a different answer to “Will you be working with patients? Blood or other samples? Animals?” (The nurse who drew my blood, having seen and confirmed my job title—which I won’t share exactly, but it’s definitely obvious I just look at words on a screen all day—delivered these questions very fast. You know, in that way people use when they mean to convey “I know and you know that the answer to this question is extremely obvious, but I have to ask and you have to answer because of protocol.”)

The nurse had a fuzzy cream sweater with fruit on it, cherries and I think an orange slice, which I complimented. I was pretty thrilled to then have a normal conversation about sweater advertising on Instagram/it being extremely cold out today. I don’t usually love chatting with strangers—apparently being this isolated does weird stuff to your feelings.

Having typed out these medical things (antibodies, samples) is making me realize how, working for the hospital, I’ll need to get used to doing that and thinking in that language. It’ll come, I’m sure.

I made bagels that tasted pretty good but the dough texture was just not right. It wasn’t a flour problem this time: I used bread flour, not the old weird AP flour that had been producing odd results, which I’ve run out of anyway. It is super dry in here -- and cold, making yeast sluggish. I think maybe I also don’t have a good system/feel for the mechanics of physically kneading dough. I should probably watch some YouTube tutorials or something.

It didn’t help that for whatever reason (dehydration? overheating?), the exertion of the kneading gave me one of those vertigo-headaches for a bit. Sometimes when I move my head around too much, it starts to feel like my brain’s bumping against bruises on the interior of my skull.

Circling back round, one more thought. I was attuned to the sweater of the nurse today because I vaguely decided I might eventually buy like two new shirts and/or sweaters now that I have a job lined up. I have been looking at clothing stores online, and tracking algorithms know this—which means I keep getting more and more clothing ads. Fine, whatever: some are potentially even useful. There are of course a bajillion websites devoted to perfecting the best ways to market direct-to-consumer clothing to millennial men. They all feel very much the same, are very boring, and have—in particular—a samey masculinity to them, a “progressive” kind of masculinity but still just a profoundly dull and stifling one. I resent the idea of getting a sweater from one of them but some of the sweaters are individually nice and tbh I will probably cave.

What a ramble that turned out to be. I guess I’ll go read in bed now