#but the core reveal subverts this

[asideoftrashplease]

Detangling JC, his motivations, & his feelings on WWX (i)

JC and WWX have a very fraught history, and while WWX’s role as the narrator makes it very clear what his feelings towards JC are, JC’s feelings towards WWX and motivations seem a lot murkier. He goes from treating WWX as a brother, to mounting a siege in a concerted attempt to take his life. His actions and motivations in the aftermath of WWX’s resurrection are also subject to interpretation. This meta provides argument for my interpretation of his feelings and motivations throughout these events.

LOVE AND BROTHERHOOD

It is clear from the outset that JC cared deeply about WWX (I wish I did not have to make a case for this because it should be obvious, but there are some who believe that JC did not love WWX). Although he holds bitterness and resentment towards WWX due to his family situation and their rivalry, he cares about WWX and is protective of him. This shines through especially in times of mortal peril. 

When WWX was trapped in the Xuanwu cave, he travelled without stopping to find people to rescue WWX. The trip should have taken 10 days, but because he drove himself to exhaustion in his desperation to save WWX, he only took 7 days.

When WWX is in danger of being discovered by the Wens after the burning of Lotus Pier, he uses himself as bait to draw them away from WWX despite the risk to his own life, which eventually leads to his capture and the loss of his core.

SO WHERE DID THINGS GO WRONG

Things started to take a turn after the Sunshot Campaign. I believe a few key events caused resentment and confusion to build and grow in JC over time:

WWX’s refusal to carry his sword, which put political pressure on YMJ

His decision to break out the Wen Remnants, without consulting or informing JC, with put more pressure on YMJ

His decision to defect from YMJ, effectively (in JC’s mind) picking the Wens over YMJ and his brotherhood with JC

His actions at Qiongqi Path which killed JZX — while we know from WWX’s POV what happened, JC and JYL have no idea what went down except from the claims of the surviving Jin cultivators

His attack on the 4000 cultivators at the Nightless City, which ultimately cost JYL’s life

It’s evident that JC is increasingly bewildered, angered, and hurt by WWX’s actions. It’s clear that he’s confused, and just CAN’T UNDERSTAND WHY WWX IS ACTING THIS WAY. All the while, resentment is building in him that he has to clean up WWX’s messes, all while WWX’s actions undermine him as a leader and brings up childhood insecurities and jealousies. But his love for WWX drives him to continually stand by WWX and believe in him — even grudgingly, complainingly, and with growing resentment. Even up to the attack at the Nightless City, even after JZX’s death, he still seems to believe in WWX.

This last event, the attack at the Nightless City, seems to be the turning point where he stops believing in WWX, so I want to cover this particular event in more detail:

A “pledge conference” is being attended by QHN, GSL, LLJ, and YMJ. This conference is a ceremonial affair, centered around their pledge to eradicate WWX and the Wen remnants. It begins with them honoring the fallen with a toast, but while the other three sect leaders make the toasts, JC goes through the motions of the toast with visible unhappiness, and then conspicuously says nothing to honor the dead.

I feel this action needs to be understood in the context of the ceremony. They are standing in the Nightless City, where their comrades died in the final battle to take down QSW, a battle which WWX contributed to greatly. They are pouring the wine on the ground where the bodies lie to honor the fallen: “Here we honor our fallen. Rest in peace.” (Uncontroversial) “Now in the name of our fallen, we will eliminate the Wens who killed them — and the Yiling Patriarch!” (Controversial because WWX was brother in arms to these soldiers, and JGS is stirring shit because he wants the Yin Tiger Seal.)

JC knows the controversial bit is coming, so while the other sect leaders one by one say things like “rest in peace” and “may they live on” he dumps the wine on the ground and refuses to say anything. He is the only one, of the four with cups, who does not speak.

When WWX appears, the others all draw their weapons, but JC reaction is different: “JC’s pupils shrunk. Blue veins lined the back of his hand.” From this sentence alone, it may not seem clear what he’s feeling, but based on the rest of his actions in this scene, I would guess that he’s shocked and appalled that WWX would dare to appear before such a large and hostile mob, A MOB THAT IS CURRENTLY PLEDGING TO KILL HIM AND SCATTER HIS ASHES, thus recklessly and what seems like arrogantly endangering his own life.

After an increasingly hostile exchange between WWX and the mob, JGS calls for everyone to set up the battle arrays to seal WWX in, with the intention of killing him there. But when WWX calls up the corpses buried under them to defend himself, it’s stated that all the sects were in disarray, except for YMJ, which seems to indicate that WWX’s corpses were not attacking the YMJ delegation — and the YMJ cultivators were not fighting the corpses either.

This all seems to indicate that despite JZX’s death, despite the fact that JC has NO FUCKING CLUE what the hell happened at Qiongqi Path, despite the fact that he’s no doubt been fed lies and biased reports from the surviving Jin cultivators, and despite the fact that WWX is currently unleashing an undead army on all of them — he still believes that there’s another side of the story. He doesn’t even know WHAT that story is, but he believes in WWX— grudgingly, and with growing disbelief, confusion, and incredulity—  he still believes, BLINDLY, in WWX.

THE TURNING POINT

In the ensuing chaos, JYL is killed, and WWX finally snaps in his grief, unleashing a hellish and completely uncontrolled bloodbath upon the assembled cultivators. It is estimated that this killed three thousand people, severely decimating the cultivation world’s population.

The siege begins after this attack, and we know from the prologue that the siege was headed by JC, and that he was the one behind key tactical maneuvers (designed using his intimate knowledge of WWX’s weaknesses) that allowed them to eventually sack the Burial Mounds. In the aftermath, he was the main person credited by the cultivation world for the defeat of the Yiling Patriarch. When WWX meets JL at Dafan, he corroborates this by revealing, through the narration, that JGS was the second-biggest contributor to the siege — after JC, who was the biggest contributor.

I know that there are other popular interpretations of JC’s motivations here. I will name two:

He participated in the siege only due to political pressure — after what WWX did at the Nightless City, he couldn’t NOT condemn him or the cultivation world would have turned on YMJ too

He participated in the siege hoping to take WWX alive and bring him back home to discipline privately

But I don’t subscribe to either of these interpretations. I believe he FULLY intended to kill WWX. Firstly, if he was only participating in the siege due to political pressure, why contribute so vitally to the siege, why take a leading role and design tactical maneuvers to bring WWX down? He could have just done as he’d done previously, which was to participate perfunctorily in “opposition” against WWX, but contributing as little as possible, or nothing at all.

Secondly, some may argue that he was trying to capture WWX alive. But before this, he had always given the impression of being extremely cautious, to the point of inaction when maybe action would have been better. JC is VERY risk-averse. His characterization before the siege is that he’d rather do nothing than do something even potentially risky. The intention of everyone else was to kill WWX, NOT to capture him. As such, the risk that WWX would be killed in battle is extremely high. Even if by some miracle, he managed to capture WWX alive despite the best efforts of everyone else to murder him, it would be really difficult to stop the other sects from executing him, and getting permission to take him home and keep him under house arrest. It would be a safer bet to try to sabotage the siege from the inside, which is not what he did. In fact, he did the opposite. He was leading the siege viciously and with intent.

So I believe that he fully intended to kill WWX, which means the turning point was JYL’s death. Up to her death, JC still believed in WWX. After her death, however, the very last we see of him is him clutching JYL’s body, completely in shock, having not yet processed her death. I believe his last words to WWX should hint to us what caused the snap from blind faith to blind hatred. These words were: “Didn’t you say you could control it?! Didn’t you say it would be fine?!” To which WWX (who is having 99 fucking breakdowns all at once) finally admits that he was wrong, and that he can’t actually control it.

My belief is that this incident made JC realize that JYL’s death (and JZX’s as well) was largely caused by WWX’s loss of control over his demonic cultivation, and IMPORTANTLY, JC’s inaction re: WWX’s method of cultivation and his seeming descent into violent radicalism. Despite all the warning signs, the growing escalations, the increasingly violent confrontations with increasingly large death tolls— he continued to believe in WWX, even when he could no longer understand or predict WWX’s actions. Everyone told him “you need to reign him in” “he’s going off the rails” “he’s a danger to us all” and JC didn’t take them seriously because he BELIEVED IN and TRUSTED WWX.

And now his sister is dead, his month-old nephew is an orphan, and WWX has massacred three thousand people in a single night, likely including members of YMJ, in a total loss of control and conscience. I think that was the turning point, the crux of the betrayal.

I believed in you. I defended you. I stuck my neck out for you. But you scorned my help. You rejected and discarded me. You betrayed my trust.

You don’t give a shit about me.

You don’t give a shit about anyone else.

I BELIEVED in you, and YOU BETRAYED ME.

—

NOTE: Right now this meta is getting a little long, so I think this is a good place to maybe cut it in thirds? Part II should cover the siege, WWX’s death, and the 13 years in between, and Part III should cover JC’s actions and motivations after WWX’s resurrection. As the next parts have not been written, I can’t link it! But when Part II is done, I will edit the post to include a link below the cut:

[Part 2 is still in progress!]

[itsnothingofinterest]

You know, for as much as I really don't like the AFO reveal of this chapter and how it looks to attack Tomura's agency; I do like how almost in the same breath it confirms just how much the things and people Tomura's been fighting for mean to him. And I need some Tomura positivity as a palate cleanser to AFO; so I think I'll join everyone in rightly gushed about his lines of being a hero for villains, because that part made me so happy.

Like, I have heard over and over until now how Tomura doesn't and never did care about the League’s causes or all this systemic stuff he yaps about, he only cares about the trauma of having killed his family with the quirk he was born with. And that's all AFO's fault probably, so once the reveal is done it'd turn out Tenko has no reason to be a villain, since as the cringelord put it, "[Tomura's] never made a single decision of [his] own".

But immediately after learning just how much he cares about being born with Decay, we also learned that his conviction is not so shallow. He truly did and does want to be a hero for the people the system doesn't support & heroes don't save; the unpopular kids, the petty crooks, the complete psychos who no one, not even Deku would give a real chance too. For as much as it messes him up to think about his past; the hatred was just drive, gas in the tank much like Bakugou's attitude or whatever anger Deku reserves for guys like Overhaul or AFO.

And it’s not even just the League either; the entirety of the PLF’s 6-figure membership came around to him, and outside of them we see this chapter a handful of other civilians rooting for him instead of Deku. Heck, even before this chapter we heard mention of people who looked to and supported the League in secret; online and such. Some will call these isolated examples, but who knows how many or how few people there are looking at him as their symbol of hope instead of Deku or Endeavor because they too are desperate for a change the heroes aren't offering.

Redestro once asked what Tomura wants to build. He responded he only wants to destroy. I believe the full truth is that he wants to clear the way to a world for them.

Despite what's claimed by AFO and readers who I feel overstate his impact on Tenko; Tomura really did care about the League, he cared about doing away with the threats to their lives & livelihoods, he wanted to be their hero and save them. Deku can reach his heart but no pretty words about holding hands could ever change that; and this core motivation never had anything to do with AFO.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(I mean, unless it was. Everything else about Tenko was caused by AFO's manipulations in service to him apparently, why not his drive to be a hero for the discarded too? God I hate the direction that reveal is going, have I mentioned that yet? Oh how I hope expectations are subverted there.)

[lilycat23]

As an anime only watcher of dungeon meshi (I started reading the manga today and I'm a few chapters in) I have been shaken to my core by the newest episode. This episode felt like all of the characters we have met so far were transported to a different show the shift in mood became so serious.

Let's talk about the second half which was my favourite part (though the entire episode was amazing) The twist that the golden country continues to exist was not something I even considered. That on its own was something else and though I figured out the gist of what was going on farely quickly the set up for the reveal was so well built up in that second half.

The reality of the people of the golden cities lives gradually becoming more clear in such a sombering way. It has and atmosphere of things being "perfect" with something clearly being very wrong. How that was handled, Laios reaction to the prophecy and the introduction of the elves were my favourite parts of this episode.

Regarding Laios' reaction, I loved it, it felt very realistic, subverted common tropes and also felt in character for Laios. Laios says he was nervous but honestly he looked absolutely horrified at the boys request that he takes down the magician and become king it was like it was the first time he had ever truly considered that that could happen and the weight of the people's hopes weighed on him like a ton of bricks. He felt so incredibly human.

I just can't believe how perfectly both those episode parts were pulled off at least from the perspective of someone seeing it for the first time.

[that-ari-blogger]

Reflections? (Yesterday's Lie)

The term “holding up a mirror” usually applies to confronting someone with their own actions and pointing out their flaws. Stories like to do this through foils that share enough characteristics to annoy each other, or villains and heroes that are either the best or worst version of each other. It’s a really neat piece of storytelling.

Yesterday’s Lie is this idea in its most blatant form. Luz literally looks into a mirror and argues with her reflection. Its straightforward and simple.

Except this is The Owl House, it’s not capable of playing anything straight.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD: (The Owl House, Dead Poet Society, Billy Elliot, Gravity Falls)

One of The Owl House’s core thematic is individuality and the joy of complexity. It is a story about taking life as it is and not putting unfair constraints on it.

This is why the show is so tropey and so averse to tropes at the same time. It makes a beeline for the closest stock structure and then thoroughly dissects and subverts it. It’s a satire, a hunter of cliches.

As a way of hammering that home, everything in the series is introduced twice. Whenever any plot beat or location is revealed, you get a first pass and a shallow look at that thing, and you get an obvious trope that this first appearance fits into, then you spend time with the thing, and you start to understand just how much that first impression was deceiving. This happens to everything, even the show itself.

The series opens with the famous “eat this sucka!” line and a fantasy witch story, priming you to expect generic fantasy, but you are then met with The Owl House, which is anything but.

Hey look, a conspicuously hidden character from a family photo. This is foreshadowing for a later episode. But if you think about it, this filmmaking technique is weird, right? Telling you something is important by now showing you it at all. I don't have anywhere I'm going with this, it's just something quirky about cinematography.

This also happens to the characters, and I go into more detail about it in my post about the first episode, so take a look at that if it interests you. But there was one notable exception to the rule. Camila Noceda.

When we first see Camila, she is the distant parent, the stock character in a million coming of age stories. She doesn’t really get her child and is sending them off to a place to make them more “normal”. It's going to be a difficult relationship, and the parent won’t get more depth beyond this.

She fits in with Niel’s parents in Dead Poet Society and Jackie from Billy Elliot. Stern, and antagonistic as a result of the theming. Like I said, the story is about how people can’t be defined, and here is a character who wants to box in the protagonist.

Notably, Dead Poet Society ends with the death of Niel as a direct result of the parental strictness, which isn’t a good sign for how this might turn out.

Then Luz runs away, and we don’t get to see anything beyond the stereotype for a season and a half. We instead get Luz feeling guilty and confronting her fears of betraying her mother through a monster that pretends to be that fear. We still don’t meet Camila.

Until we do, and things are immediately different.

The Camila Noceda from season one was refined and busy. She had a uniform on, and her hair up in a tight bun. It’s a refined image that looks down on you with distain. Now, however, she has let her hair down and wears more casual clothes over that uniform, she’s practical but laid back. She’s had things added to her instead of taken away.

It's also notable that the first thing she does in this episode is help a wounded creature. Camila’s second introduction is one of fundamental kindness.

Meanwhile, Vee is Luz’s reflection, except no she isn’t at all. She is the polar opposite of Luz. She wants mundanity rather than adventure, she wants a new life rather than both lives at once, she actively disguises herself rather than seeking to be understood. Vee is only Luz in appearance. Case and point:

Luz - "Cool, talking rats. Maybe they know something." Vee - "(Screams and runs away)"

Camila is aware that something is up, but she’s not used to the magical world that we are, so she assumes that Luz has changed, and she is concerned that the summer camp thing has worked too well.

Vee also gets the multiple introductions. A few episodes ago, she was shown as a shadowy figure who had replaced Luz like a changeling and the filmmaking heavily implied a Machiavellian air to the character. The musical sting, the shot composition and build up, this was a villain.

Then we meet her and she’s a wus. She’s cowardly, and meek, and I love her so much. Except once again, not exactly.

But that leads into the plot of this episode, because this isn’t about Luz, it's about the world she left behind. Luz is secondary in this story, filling the role of a mentour until the very end. It’s another mention of how Luz operates as a character, inspiring people as a light for them to follow, (Light, do not faulter) but it's also not the point.

Vee needs to learn to be herself and that she has found people who will love her not just in spite of it, but because of it, and Camila needs… well she needs to show off her compassion, but she also needs to confront the fact that she directly caused this entire adventure.

“You and I are not the same. You had a mom who loved you, a home, a life, you had it good! And you still wanted to run away, I didn't have a choice. My real name is Number Five. I'm a Basilisk, and technically, I shouldn't exist.”

Something that blew my mind more than it probably should have here is that Vee’s name comes from the Roman numeral for five, that being V. This might be obvious or obscure, but it is something my brain fixated on, and y’all must know.

This is worldbuilding for Belos as well, and we’re really dropping the subtlety with this episode. Belos is a man who desires to eradicate an entire people because they are not like him, a man who experiments on people because they have something he doesn’t and it doesn’t occur to him that their lives have value, a man who assigns numbers instead of names to people whom he plans to exterminate.

Compare Belos to Bill Cypher. Bill was otherworldly and eldritch, an unknowable evil. Belos is the type of villain whom real world history has known, and people who are still alive today will recognise.

Belos is his own person, sure, but he’s also fascistic eugenicist who thinks he’s G-d because of something he was born with and decided entitled him to everything. Belos is Evil.

The fact that Belos is experimenting on the Basilisks with the hope of learning to drain magic seems like an throw away detail. It doesn't come up again in this episode, but if you've seen the series in full, you know why this is important.

But he’s also mundane, and pointedly so. The thing that caused Belos to get this bad was such a simple thing, wilful ignorance. I’ll get into it more specifically when I cover Elsewhere and Elsewhen and Hollow Mind, but suffice to say this:

Belos ignored so many obvious things in his life because he didn’t want to contradict a worldview that put him on top, and he kept doing it and kept going and going and going until he doesn’t have to try. People aren’t people to Belos.

Which leads me back to what I was saying about character introductions, funnily enough. This is a story about teaching Luz and the audience to look past tropes and preconceptions to see people as complex. Belos cannot do this, and that is directly what causes his villainy.

Belos ain’t even directly in this episode and he’s got me livid.

Still think Warden Wrath is just a quirky little goober? Also, the Basilisks were brought back from extinction. Like in Jurassic Park. Belos is playing G-d.

This does kind of reframe Michaela Dietz’s performance as Vee though, doesn’t it. She goes from jumpy to traumatized. She’s a survivor and a child at the same time. Of course she’s like this, who wouldn’t be?

This is a character whose voice acting and line writing come across as dissonantly weighty. Like this character has seen more shit than she should have at her age, because she has.

I seriously cannot praise Michaela Dietz enough here.

Also, the point at Luz is a point well made. Luz ran away without thinking things through and without the consequences occurring to her. She took what she had for granted, and Vee rightfully calls her out for it.

Jacob is Belos wanna be. He’s a conspiracy theorist but in a really interesting way.

He gets introduced twice, but in reverse order. His traps and cameras are shown first, then he is introduced and he’s just a normal guy, then it is revealed who he really is. Like I said, this happens to everyone in the series.

However, there are a few ways you can run a conspiracy theorist in a story. Maybe he’s wrong and the magical world doesn’t exist and he’s just seeing patterns where there are none. But this is The Owl House, that doesn’t apply here.

Alternatively, Jacob could be right about everything and find his way into the Boiling Isles. Needless to say, this doesn’t happen.

This shot bounces between Vee's and Jacob's perspective, but always with the cage in front of them. As if they are both trapped by their own minds.

Instead, Jacob is actually wilfully ignorant. He’s the “we have Belos at home” of this story and is just what Vee needs to confront. He’s got something in his mind that he believes beyond all evidence, and when something is shown that would challenge his worldview, instead of adapting, incorporates it on a surface level without taking the time to understand what it actually is.

Jacob believes in aliens from Mars, and he is so fixated on his discovery that he doesn’t stop to ask if it actually proves him correct. Instead, he assumes mal intent because the creature isn’t like him, and therefore the creature must surrender all privileges. Most notably freedom.

Jacob is small, and petty, and definitely not as megalomaniacal as Belos. But I ask you this, if he got into the Demon Realm, what would he do?

Enter Camila, who is a direct contrast to Jacob specifically. She is shown information that rocks her worldview, and what does she do? She changes her worldview. Mostly.

There is magic. Ok. This is not Luz. Ok. This creature must die. Hold up.

Camila actually keeps most of her ethics identical. She will not witness injustice and she will never be unkind. She’s a vet, she treats everything with compassion no matter what species.

She gets two lines in short succession to really exemplify this.

“Hello, this is all so confusing, but who knew I had such a strong girl living under my roof this whole time”

It’s affirming and reassuring. Compassion first and foremost.

“I’m the good guy here!” “Yeah. A lot of bad guys say that.”

Essentially, screw your god complex, I will not be told what to think. I have learned, and I reject the wilful ignorance you stand for. It’s also just a killer one liner and it sounds cool.

Even the lighting knows what's up. Camilla is lit from above, like an avenging angel looking down on Jacob's small minded ignorance.

On the other hand, I said “most” in reference to Camila’s changing ethics, and I meant it. Camila starts the story trying to box Luz in, because she thinks it will make her life easier and safer. But she gets shown here that she was wrong in at least half of that. Luz cannot stop being herself, nobody can, so Camila needs to stop expecting people to fit with society’s preconceptions.

Camila gets more background later on in the series, and I will talk about it when I get there, but she learns, and she is willing to change. That’s the important thing.

Speaking of which, I drew comparison to Jackie from Billy Elliot and I know at least one person will get really upset by that. And let's explain why.

Jackie isn't the trope I mentioned either. One main theme of Billy Elliot is the price of freedom, and Jackie spends the first part of the film seeking personal freedom because he thinks that will trickle down to his son. But he doesn't realise that doing that is directly causing his child to be miserable.

I studied this film in high school and I have it drilled into my brain that the sartorial design of this scene reflects Jackie's sacrifice. Usually, he contrasts with his environment. But now, as he breaks down and returns to the mine, he is one with it in colour scheme resigned to be nothing more than a cog in the machine.

So, in the best scene in the movie, Jackie breaks down and sacrifices his own freedom to pay for his son's dream. Its heart wrenching, and its similar to Camila. Both of them start off disapproving and boxing their children in and learn to be better.

These people are similar, that's why the series introduced Camila using the trope, but they both split from it, and they are both their own person. Everyone is an individual.

That final scene is painfully well written. You know exactly why Camila and Luz would say what they say, why they would miscommunicate, and what is holding them back. Who is right here? I would argue both of them.

Camila looks at a place called “the demon realm” and, as a mother, assumes the worst. She wants nothing but the safety of her children, and she hasn’t been shown anything that dissuades that. Instead, you get Luz saying this:

“Staying here was the best decision I ever made.”

Of course Camila would take this the wrong way, of course this would go so badly for Luz. But it also goes badly for Camila, who now has to reconcile the fact that, despite everything else, Luz made the decision to stay in a more dangerous place because it understood her better than her home. That’s a difficult thing to hear for a mother, but it's something to reflect on.

Meanwhile, Luz now has tried her best to be understood by the person she wants to connect with the most, and she has failed due to her own inability to communicate. The series is creating a conflict and creating a duality, Luz must choose at the end whether to stay in the Demon Realm or go to the Human World. Its an impossible decision planted really well, and in my opinion, it will pay off incredibly.

I think there's some symbolism here, but I just can't quite figure it out.

Final Thoughts

I feel the need to remind y’all that this was on Disney, apparently aimed at kids seven years and older. Don’t get me wrong, kids are more intelligent than people give them credit for and can understand complex themes really well, even if they don’t have the skills to articulate that. But there are some things in this episode alone that feel aimed at an older audience.

Maybe that’s why Tumblr likes this series so much. It’s the type of story that appeals to people of any age, but can be understood by someone very young, and can act as role models for kids growing up.

The reason I say this, is that when I looked up the age rating of The Owl House, I did find a review that made me laugh:

One star, 18+ “There’s kissing which is ew”

Next week, I’ll be covering Follies at the Coven Day Parade, which explores the theme of duality, but also gives Kikimora complexity, something I was not prepared for at all. So, stick around if that interests you.

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[apatheticlexicographer]

i think i finally understand the exact reasoning behind how both will and mike's sexualities are presented, and how those presentations flatter each other.

will is barely queercoded from a subtextual perspective because there's no need to queercode him. the writers verbally establish in season one episode one that people percieve this kid as gay, so you're immediately guided to see him through the same lens, at least subconsciously. people continue to refer to him as gay and he continues to "act" gay, and most of the audience is able to see this for what it is very easily without the need for heavy symbolism. will being gay is simply treated as a fact from the start by both the characters around him and the writers themselves, for better or for worse.

MIKE, on the other hand, is so heavily queercoded it's barely even funny. he's the one with the queer imagery, the blocking, the set design, the lighting. he's never explicitly referred to as queer, it isn't so much as suggested verbally, but the sheer amount of incredibly blatant subtextual material that surrounds him is insane. none of the characters within the show have the slightest clue that mike is gay. there's a good chance that mike himself doesn't know, or has only begun to realize very recently. even the writers do their damn best to make it appear like they themselves don't know. still, the fact remains that he is, it just isn't expressed in a way that the homophobic masses both within and outside the show are capable of picking up on. when he comes out it will be a shock to the characters and the majority heterosexual audience, but not to the queer people who pick up instinctually on the signalling. basically, you only know mike is gay if you have a genuinely functioning gaydar.

in this way they're so strongly representative of two very different gay experiences, both of which are important and both of which are treated respectfully by the writers, despite the setting.

will is the kid who never really gets the luxury of choosing whether to come out to people, because everybody has had him pegged from the start. even his own family: jonathan tells will he accepts him before will can even hint toward the topic himself. however as much as we're told that he "seems" gay to other people, all we are shown subtextually is a totally normal child who happens to have feelings for another boy. this is important because it subverts the trope of making "being gay" the "obviously gay" character's sole or core trait.

mike is the kid who people would never in a million years guess was queer. it's not just that he gets the luxury of choosing when to come out of the closet; he's so deep in it that he's drowning in winter coats. he's the "twist queer character," except he's not. his subtextual queercoding has been there beneath the surface for just as long as will has been textually referred to as queer on a surface level. this makes it clear that him being gay isn't some kind of last minute decision and the subtlety of his presentation wasn't an accident. if you don't knkw mike is gay now before it's revealed then you aren't supposed to.

they're foils like that. they're the archetypal queers, and i think it's kind of beautiful.

(and if anybody tries to argue that one expression of Queer Experience is more important than another then i'm coming for their kneecaps. having both experiences not only represented but thoroughly explored is so rare, although there are people all over the world who resonate with each.)

[cissa-calls]

Foreword to Agatha All Along

After years of waiting, tomorrow witches, marks the anticipated start to Agatha All Along! But, before the first two episodes stream, it's time to take one last crack at discussing some possible theories (and hopes) for the series:

Akin to how Wandavision was an exploration of American Television sitcoms, this series is partially an exploration of depictions of witchcraft and referential to horror in pop culture (the Witched Witch and Glinda from the Wizard of Oz).

Is Rio dead? How does she seem to emerge from the ground on the side of the witches road? Did she and Agatha try to walk it long ago, and Rio perished, thus she is now trapped there forever?

At some point, Agatha will end up alone. She will be walking alone because either everyone has died, or those remaining leave. This however will not be indefinite.

Conversely, it could also recall the beginning when it was just her and the teen, but just the two of them make it out.

I keep thinking of that scene with her and the teen in the metal room, where they both appear to be in patient gowns. Are they in facilities at S.W.O.R.D.? Is the teen crying because Agatha is making him walk through memories and realize his identity?

Agatha's knowledge of the road is either from the Darkhold or what Evanora taught (or rather tried to keep from her daughter).

As a green witch, Rio is connected to plants. Her costume quite literally looks like vines and roots growing are forming the bodice. Are plants relevant in the sense of bloom and regeneration? Or rather decay and withering?

Using, dismantling, subverting, or cannonizing of symbols or tools of witchcraft. From kitschy to terrifying.

The hooded figures who appear in front of the teen, is there one for each member of the coven? Is it a haunted form of themselves, or a twisted appartion assigned to capture each?

Part of this story is found family, and Agatha's fear of comraderie. Built off a lifetime of distrust, backstabbing, and taking, Agatha has to learn to trust. In a similar vein, Agatha has no sense of comfort or home.

The scene where Agatha's face is covered in small cuts or splatters of blood. Either that is the cataylst to a glorifying rise near the end of the show, or a horrifying turn of seemingly irredemtion.

Rio was once Agatha's companion, her only companion. A betrayal between the two sent Agatha into permanent solitude.

I sincerely hope this show explores horror and gives into the darkness that Multiverse of Madness teased. Comic relief is a needed presence, but the tone is overall geared towards darker themes and storylines

Speaking of darkness - night! The majority of this series will take place at night! At least the juicy and important scenes.

DOES AGATHA POSSESS THE DARKHOLD AGAIN OR WAS ITS APPEARANCE IN A FLASHBACK

When Agatha was young and on the run, she was targeted for possessing the Darkhold.

Rio and Agatha...history may call them the best of friends.

The Ballad of the Witche's Road might be sung in several versions/genre's (we've already heard two)

More lyrics of the ballad will be revealed and sung as the story progresses.

The Witches Road may be terrible, but it is a unifying force as it welcomes everyone. Remember the lyrics: "Seekest thou the road, all that's foul and fair," the road is a living thing, inviting everyone but casting judgement on those who can achieve

I will cry at some point. I am certain this will break me just as Wandavision broke me.

The glowing tree in the middle of the Witch's Road has something hidden beneath and growing within the roots. (Is it the heart of the Road, because it is a living legend?)

Each of the witches will have to confront their greatest fears manifested as scenes, memories, or landscapes of their personal hells. Only when they begin to trust each other or confront/admit their weakness can their proceed. Agatha would obviously have the final and hardest challenge.

Without her magic, such a core tenant of her identity and confidence, Agatha will be even more combatative and threatening (borne entirely out of insecurity).

Agatha's cameo, and the lock of hair in it, is a reminder of her humanity and connection.

At some point, Agatha will break, spilling out centuries worth of every held back, messy emotion (and Kathryn Hahn will SERVE).

Perhaps it is based on the obvious Eve allegory, but there will be more biblical allegories or subversions. Is Agatha being born anew?

Teen and Señor Scratchy bond. It is likely a trauma bond. (The rabbit may also gain a more horrifying form or eat an entire monster/adversary)

Elaborate outfit reveal. ELABORATE FINALE COSTUME OUTFIT REVEAL! AGATHA ACHIEVES ENLIGHTMENT AND HER MOST POWERFUL FORM WHEN SHE FINALLY RECLAIMS HER MAGIC...possibly foiling Wanda when she became the Scarlet Witch.

This is not an exhaustive list, but it will be interesting to compare these ideas to how the show actually plays out. In all of this excitement, there is still a touch of trepidation. After pouring so much love into counting down the days to release and yielding art, writing, research, and costumes for this character, Agatha has remained a fun force of exploration and expression for me. However, the excitement over seeing where Kathryn Hahn takes the character next assuages any and all fears, as we finally will confront who exactly Agatha was all along.

Get ready witches, it's time to walk the road.

[aloevhello]

For the past two Spiderverse films, Miles uses the shoulder touch to venom blast his opponent away and win the battle. It’s likely that Miles would use this technique on the Spot to drain his dark matter and turn him back into his human form. However, I wonder if in BTSV, this expectation gets subverted where instead of Miles using his shoulder touch to create distance, he uses this technique to connect with his adversary by talking things out with the Spot.

At the end of ATSV, the Spot has amassed so much dark matter, he lost all semblance of his human form and is becoming this large, monster-like being who creates destruction in its wake. Considering how much of a threat the Spot has become, Miles can’t simply fight his way out, but instead he must think smarter, something he learned from his battle with Miguel and the Spider Society. This means that Miles would have to appeal to the Spot’s rationality by having a conversation with him, likely in the Spot’s Liminal Space.

There’s also how Miles and the Spot share the same struggle of feeling like they’re not being taken seriously, not being treated as an equal. For Miles, he’s constantly treated as a kid and had his Spider identity be reduced to being an anomaly. For the Spot, he’s been bullied for his inhuman appearance and has his nemesis status being reduced to “a villain of the week,” a diminishing that Miles contributed towards. With Miles undergoing the same treatment, it would lead to him revealing how much he empathizes with the Spot, which would allow the Spot for the first time since his transformation to feel seen. Through this openness, the Spot would realize he doesn’t need to become this large force of nature to be respected, thus allowing Miles to use the shoulder touch and absorb his dark matter to become human again. In turn, if Miles says his iconic “hey” line, it wouldn’t be an act of defiance like he did with Kingpin, but rather a place of connection where it’s more like: “Hey. I see you and understand you.” In a way, it harks back to the original intention of the shoulder touch, founded by Uncle Aaron. While Aaron, admittedly used this technique for flirting, at its core, it’s meant to break the tension and form connection.

Another thing that is poignant about Miles choosing to talk with the Spot is how it acts as a way for Miles to confront his fear of expectations. Expectations is something that haunted Miles since ITSV, as he’s always felt beholden to the expectations of his family, friends, and other Spiderpeople. This fear is best encapsulated in his mural that has the word “expectations” and is overlaid by a rough silhouette of himself. The silhouette is significant as its a blank slate that represents all the unfathomable amount potential Miles holds and the unknown person he’ll become if he’s further shaped by these expectations. It also bares a striking resemblance to the Spot’s dark and sketchy form at the end of ATSV, along with his ability to create holes to other dimensions being reminiscent of the infinite possible people Miles could become. In a way, the Spot is his mural come to life and is now seeking vengeance on its creator for carrying such a burden by destroying those who imposed these expectations in the first place, namely Miles’s dad.

However, ATSV shows how the mural evolved, since it now includes Gwen, Uncle Aaron, Peter B, and the rest of Miles’ Spidey friends. This symbolizes Miles’s mindset on expectations evolving as he now sees this idea as something to live up to, since they’re held by the people who love him. This new mindset is applied to Miles’s parents who, while not on the mural, give him the unconditional support he needs for becoming the person he wants to be. Thus, with Miles getting support from the people imposing expectations on him, he gains self-determination and is not only able to stand up to the Spot, but also has the strength to make amends with him. After all, the Spot lacks the support system Miles has as his parents and colleagues all laughed at him after his transformation. Coupled with Miles not taking his villainy seriously, the Spot is fueled by his own internal expectation to advance his prowess as a villain by furthering his vengeance and losing himself in the process. It’s only when Miles finds the humanity in the Spot by releasing his dark matter, he finds Johnathon Ohn and saves him from this burden. In turn, by finding the humanity in his fear, that’s when Miles finds himself, which fills in his silhouette as he conquers his fear of expectations.

[pinkeoni]

What Exactly Do I Mean When I Say "Will is Jesus Christ?"

(or Why Will is the Chosen One)

Do I mean that Will is actually the second coming of Christ? Well, no, at least not in a literal sense. All I mean to say by this is that—

Will is the chosen one, and he is the hero of the story who is meant to save the world from the apocalypse.

Apocalypse imagery and references to Revelations is all over the place in season 4. The four victims representing the four horsemen of the apocalypse, Henry "One" effectively being a God-like figure, references to Revelations 1:8 regarding Henry, hell I'll go as far to say that Robin playing the trumpet at the beginning of the season is a nod to the sound of trumpets that is meant to signal the beginning of the apocalypse.

The important thing about Revelations being that at the end of the day, the second coming of Jesus Christ, the chosen one, saves the day.

This really robust old post that I made, which was also one of my first theory posts, goes into detail on how Will fits the criteria of a Christ-figure, or a figure in literature or media that is allegorical to Jesus Christ. Will's biggest piece of evidence being his full on burial and resurrection in the first season.

If I'm talking about Christ-figures in the show then I should probably talk about El, who admittedly has much more in your face Christ-coding than Will does. Walking on water, performance of miracles, the mother who got pregnant out of strange circumstances, along with her own resurrection and so-on.

So then, if El clearly has more Christ-coding than Will, why am I placing the title of Jesus onto Will? Is it just because I like him more than El? Is it because I see Will as a more important character than El?

Just as a general disclaimer, I will admit that I do have a major Will bias, anyone who follows me knows that. He's been my favorite character since I first watched the show. Although, my labeling of him as the chosen one has nothing to do a dislike of El or a belief that she is not an important character. I love El, and it's plain to everyone that watches the show how important she is. However, I just don't believe that the chosen one who saves the day is what her arc is building towards.

They've been building up El's chosen one status while also quietly breaking it down in the background, in the same way that they've quietly been leaving bread crumbs pointing toward Will's Christ status while also seemingly suggesting that he isn't that important of a character. Why have a character tell El that she's "the cure," then make a point that she loses against Henry at the end of the season? Why sideline Will for the past two seasons, but throw in lines of dialogue pointing toward his involvement with the Upside Down?

What I believe they are going for is a classic bait-and-switch to subvert expectations in the final season. Lead the audience to believe one thing, while still leaving clues to suggest the other so that when the twist is revealed it doesn't come out of nowhere.

So what is El's arc actually about? I won't deny El's role in the final battle of the show, it's not like she's going to be completely sidelined, but I don't think that her saving the world on her own while everyone else watches is what her arc is building towards. The real core of her arc is El discovering who she is as a girl, rather than becoming a superhero.

I actually made a post awhile ago talking about El’s monster/superhero dichotomy, and it’s actually incredibly important to my argument. The post itself is more in depth, but tl:dr: El believes that she can either be a superhero or a monster, and bases her worth on her ability to save the world and others, an unfair expectation to place onto one girl.

If at the end of the season, El single-handedly saves the entire world, wouldn’t it feel counterintuitive to her arc? She needs to learn that her self worth doesn’t rely on her ability to save the world, and if she ends the show this way, it wouldn’t create a solution for her cyclical train of thought.

Furthermore, wouldn’t this ending be a bit expected, and even boring? This is what El has been doing for the past four seasons of the show. Continuing that pattern would only feel anticlimactic. From a writer’s pov, if you wanted the ending of you show to be dynamic and interesting, you would want to do something new.

So why do I think that Will is the chosen one?

It’s not like I’m pulling the chosen-one-Jesus-Christ label out of my ass just because I like Will. I actually do have many reasons to believe this.

The first one is the confirmation that Will is going to be a big part and focus for next season. It’s been theorized that this means Will is going to become a villian, and while I do love a good Will villian AU, there are many reasons I could list off as to why he wouldn’t become a villian. Without going into it all right now, let’s just say that it would not only go against what Will stands for, but also what the show itself stands for.

Even in show, we have signs pointing toward Will’s chosen status. Let’s start with the fact that Will is the one who kicks the entire show off in the first place, when he is taken by who we later learn to be Henry. Now, this could have just been wrong-place-wrong-time kind of thing, but given how much has been revealed has actually been part of a larger plan constructed by Henry, I highly doubt that mere coincidence is the case.

Let’s look at some more evidence within the fourth season. Let’s talk about the fact that, despite not even being present in Hawkins and gone for much of the supernatural action, Will is still being brought up by name and even implicated in the strangeness of the Upside Down.

Do I think Will is gonna solo-kill Vecna in the climax of the show? Chosen one doesn’t mean only one. No, despite all my rambling about El not being the hero, I’m not gonna deny her importance to the supernatural plot. I think something else the show keeps building upon is the importance of support from friends and family— saving the world is likely gonna be a group effort. I do think, however, that Will possesses some kind of unique ability that is going to be crucial to winning.

What would being the hero mean for Will’s arc? Well, it would give him a sense of control that he hasn’t had before. Will has had a lot of agency and autonomy ripped from him in past seasons, and this would be his way of reclaiming that. It would be the perfect subversion of expectations as well. The character that everyone expects to be just the helpless victim, or hell even the villian, is the one who rises to become the hero who saves the day in his own way.

[soupthatistohot]

BSD: An Absurdist Analysis - Chapters 7 & 8 (Part 2)

There is always hope

[Masterpost]

We’re going to ignore that part 1 of this analysis is from 5 months ago and that I said I’d follow up with part 2 “soon.”

Anyway! Chapter 7 opens with Kyouka, a fourteen-year-old girl, attacking Dazai. When Atsushi expresses his concern about Dazai’s absence, unknowing about the reason for it, Kunikida says this:

This is probably a hint at the fact that Dazai let himself get captured, which is revealed a bit later. To me, this is Dazai being an absurdist protagonist at its finest: using his quirk (for lack of a better term) of consistently attempting suicide as a cover so the ADA doesn’t intervene on his behalf with the mafia. If he’d proposed this plan, they likely wouldn’t have let him do it, so he just “disappears” like he usually does. It's unconventional — absurd, even — that he plans things out like this. 

A good absurdist protagonist succeeds by subverting expectations, and in this instance, Dazai does so by allowing himself to get captured, the very thing Kunikida says is highly unlikely. This is similar to what I talked about in the previous post with Kyouka, who uses her appearance as a young, quiet girl to her advantage when making use of her deadly ability. 

Next: Kaiji and his motivations.

In his introduction, he declares that death is an experiment, and in doing so, he is representative of the absurd reality all humans are subject to, a reality in which someone can decide to bomb an entire train just to get to one individual, a society in which one can take the lives of others in the name of “experimentation.”

Of course, as explained in my prior analysis post, Yosano quickly puts him in his place with her refusal to give into this insane concept that innocent people’s lives are so expendable.

And finally: Atsushi.

Essentially, he is put in a rather difficult position: either give himself in to the Port Mafia, or allow an entire train of people to be blown to smithereens by Kaiji’s bombs. 

Of course, as our absurdist protagonist, Atsushi refuses to do either of these things and carves out his own secret third option: save everyone on the train and defeat Kaiji. Luckily, Yosano completes the latter portion of this task, leaving Atsushi to deal with the train’s passengers — and this includes Kyouka.

Kyouka begins attacking Atsushi, easily overwhelming him. It’s important to note that at this point in time, not only does he have very limited experience with combat, but he also hasn’t explored his ability fully, meaning that he is woefully outmatched by her ability, Demon Snow. 

Atsushi begins to have his doubts, as is characteristic of him. He often wavers in these moments of vulnerability, almost succumbing to the idea that it isn’t worth fighting back anymore because of his inexperience and apparent weakness. It is in this moment, though, that he has one of his famous orphanage flashbacks that will steel his resolve.

After this, the narration of Atsushi's inner monologue reads: “At that moment, an idea suddenly popped into my head. It may be a stupid idea, but at least it won’t leave me alone. If, by any chance, I can let the passengers return home safe and sound, does that prove that it’s okay for me to live?”

And, as if by a miracle, Atsushi is able to activate his ability to fight back against Kyouka.

In reality, it isn’t a miracle, though. It is Atsushi’s rebellion against the hopelessness of his current situation that pushes him to continue to fight back, allowing him to tap into his power and harness it. In a world where he and all the passengers will die a meaningless death, he creates his own purpose despite the seemingly dire circumstances. This is a theme that will recur again and again throughout the manga (even up to chapters being currently released), it is at the core of this story that when things seem the bleakest, there is always worth in continuing to fight back. 

Then Kyouka reveals the bomb, and subsequently, Akutagawa reveals that it cannot be diffused. Atsushi is saved the strife of having to figure out this one, though, when Kyouka takes things into her own hands and decides to sacrifice herself.

And Atsushi could stop there. Kyouka jumping from the train could be the conclusion to this story, as it would save both himself the passengers, but he refuses to believe that a fourteen year old orphan forced to murder against her will deserves to die, and so he makes the borderline suicidal decision to also jump in order to save her…

… and he succeeds. 

Because there is always worth in trying — there is always hope.

[Previous] [Next]

[ariadnejoly]

I unapologetically love Girls

Yes, I'm bi, 😝 But I also love Girls, the comedy-drama series. The general opinion I see online is: most people can't stand to watch it. It's cringe. It makes them uncomfortable. For one reason or another, many haven't watched it. I would like to share my love for the show and what it means to me.

The glory of Adam Driver. Getting the obvious out of the way. He has always been gifted, this man who evokes such a raw and vulnerable edge. He is compelling, point blank, and this show acts as a long form story where he not only stuck around as one of the ensemble cast, but his character's evolution over the entire six seasons is a beautiful and subtle performance. I remember being surprised and delighted that Dunham didn't write out his character after a breakup, as they might do on say, Sex and the City. Adam Sackler hung around and became a core member of the group. Everyone else noticed his talent too, which is why Kathleen Kennedy snapped him up to play Kylo Ren in Star Wars. Girls gave me Adam Driver and I felt right at home in Star Wars with him. He's given his all to everything he's ever done. He is the actor of our generation. And he didn't get his breakthrough on the stage, or his episode of Law and Order. It was on Girls. But I don't need to brag. Just watch the show to see the absolutely feral and filthy fuckboi he starts out as. Watching it purely for Adam Driver will be worth it, and you might just end up liking other parts of the show, too.

It subverted my expectations constantly. And that's a good thing! People (me included) expected this new, anticipated show to be the Millennial Sex and the City. And I mean, there is sex, and there is Brooklyn, but this show goes in all different directions AND keeps up with male characters. See point 1 above. Adam, Elijah, Ray, and even dear, dysfunctional Desi round out the ensemble cast of women. As a long-time fan of Sex and the City, that show uses the Kens as ornaments, only utilized for sex and jokes, and breakups. The women don't talk about anything but the men they're dating. And guess what? That's fine! It is what it is. And I fuggin love that show --it was so formative for my 17 year old self. But then my 22 year old self watched the first season of Girls and was blown away by the way Dunham and the other creatives firmly planted their heels as an entirely different show that was not to be compared to anything that came before. These characters are complicated and deeply flawed. And at many times, unlikeable. But the writing is good. There's always one or two "bottle" episodes per season where characters are on a trip back to their hometown (season 1, episode 6), or the absolutely heartwrenching Marnie adventure in season 5 episode 6. I have many more examples I could give (Honorable mention to season 3 episode 9!). These episodes reveal another layer of complexity to each character in a way that feels lived in, possible, real. There's specificity and sharp wit. Characters often have a turbulent epiphany about their life in these bottle episodes, one that's usually scary to admit and confront. One of my favorite episodes is Hello Kitty (season 5 episode 7). It has so many moving parts, the play in the apartment building, the horrifying true story the play is based on...and yet that episode is so fun to watch. Beautifully written and directed. It has stayed deeply rooted in my mind as a piece of magic. This show has plot lines that are controversial and will absolutely divide people. It's not so middle of the road that it's blah, that’s for sure. It's irreverent and at times, utterly troubling. It makes you question your own character a little deeper. And that's why I keep coming back to study the show again and again.

Girls made me uncomfortable and cringe the first time I watched it. I was indeed like all the rest of the critics, appalled at Lena Dunham's flagrant nudity (I was from a Mormon town and had recently escaped the cult myself). Lena's body looked different than that one, victoria's secret model-type that we are all familiar with. Dunham's lack of shame horrified me and intrigued me. It tickled some deep part of my brain that yearned for the same liberation. But more than that, it was the scary way I related to the character within the first three episodes. Hannah is an aspiring writer who's 'bigger' than her friends. She hopes to be the voice of a generation. She wants to write a memoir. She’s just unkempt enough that no one takes her seriously. I was slack jawed after the pilot. I'd been watching myself on screen, for what felt like the first time ever. I staggered away from the tv and the episode rolled around in my brain, until a week went by and it was time for another episode. I'd just undergone a LEEP procedure to remove pre-cancerous cells from my cervix because I'd contracted HPV. Then episode 3 was about Hannah tracking down the boy who gave her HPV. Only to find out the ex she hooked up with that one time is gay. And yet again, it was like Lena Dunham was writing my life. Dating the gay boy who's a musical theatre aficionado? Yep. Me, Hannah, and Lady Bird. Hannah Horvath's life diverged from mine with every subsequent episode, but come on. If you were me, you would have been hooked too. Each season, no matter how batshit any character was, no matter what they did, I tuned in. And even though I was outraged when Hannah quit safe, secure jobs, like GQ (that allowed her to interview Patti LuPone!), it was really just me projecting my own money concerns. And when I cringed at her nude body, it was really just my own fatphobia and insecurity that I am still unlearning to this day. The writers of the show decided to make the characters self-sabotage in order to create comedy and drama. Hannah doesn't conform or stay quiet or people please to survive, like I had to. Watching Hannah and the girls became more of a “what not to do.” Back then I was comforted that while life was hard, at least I wasn't fucking up as badly as Hannah Horvath. Now I can laugh at the silliness and hijinks. It's all just good, fictional fun when you're past the poverty and crippling self-doubt of your twenties.

My thoughts on my body (and Hannah Horvath's) have changed. And that's the best thing of all. I rewatched Girls in 2022, a ten-year anniversary sort of thing. Wow. I saw it with different eyes. The eyes of someone older, wiser, happier. I watched it as a 32 year old, two years into my healing journey with my mind, body, and with food. And I see Girls in a new way. I see Hannah's body. It's straight out of Renaissance portraits. She is beautiful because she is real. I am also beautiful, and real. And so are you. Our bodies allow us to do and experience so many things. I'm grateful for the one I have. The culture in the 2010's was absolutely fat-shaming and misogynistic. When Dunham did press interviews, she deserved to be asked about her writing and directing, not why she was nude. And even when I wasn't ready to see Dunham's body (because I was still living in the fantasy that if I just did the next diet, I could finally be thin and look like the girls in the media), I am so glad Lena showed her real body and now that shit is immortalized in the Library of Congress. Good for her.

Girls shows some hard realities, for worse or better. The girls don't make lifelong vows to always remain friends. It's not a soulmate, forever Sunday brunch kinda thing. In fact, the show distances them all from one another over the last few seasons and at the end, gives them a sendoff in which they agree to float away from each other, more or less. And that's the true reality of some friendships, especially in your twenties. People will come and go throughout all of your life. It's a certainty. This show was creatively driven by a 24 year old woman, who was showing us the reality of adult life as a young person in a deeply corrupt, capitalistic system. A shitty recession where being an unpaid intern is legal. Getting felt up by your boss is tolerated by women in the office for the sake of financial security. Not eating to save money, hoping that boy texts you back, licking Cool Whip from the back of the spoon, avoiding the reality of your student loans. C'est la vie.

[two-nines-left-spleen]

Thoughts and rambling on HSR 2.2 (Part 2)

MASSIVE SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Please feel free to share your thoughts, Ideas, things you noticed etc. I love when people ramble about things they found in the indulgences they enjoy.

Here are thoughts, pins and findings on Trailblaze Mission

Small Town Grotesque Quest

Misha's introduction as a Key Character was done a little clumsily. He did come a bit out of nowhere and him being suspicious was cleared a tiny bit too fast for me. I mean, as someone who actively tries to figure out the story beforehand, it was clear that there was way more to him, I just thought our characters would find out more -naturally. I blame Welt's perceptiveness, haha. The rest of his story however, was phenomenally executed. More on that later.

Hoyo PLEASE make Micah playable. One man with beard. You had no business designing an NPC this hot. (Siobhan too, please, please, please)

I have - and this is biased as HELL - massive Dr. Ratio brainrot. His fucking prescription he gave to Aventurine in 2.1 said Dormancy first. The Death Meme is revealed here to be Dormancy. Ratio is either a.) connected as all hell to the other characters or b.) really, really fucking clever to have this figured out earlier than everyone else who was NOT directly killed or in contact with Penacony's Kerberos. (Or c.): both). It also shows again, that, for being repeatedly advertised as a narcissist, he cooperates quite well with his surroundings. More on him later - yes, we saw this man for 2 seconds on screen, yes, I will write paragraphs about this. Stop me, I dare you.

Robin is a good-at-heart character and to me, she represents Penacony's heroine (like Bronya and Seele were Belobog's heros -alongside the Express Crew). I like that she was, like Firefly, instigating things on her own and thankfully subverted my fear of her being portrayed as a damsel in distress. I like characters that, at their core, are portrayed as kind. They are easy to write but hard to write well and I feel like HSR has done a very decent (not perfect, but decent) job at it.

I saw some people say that she wasn't in the story enough, and while we didn't get the whole Aventurine-Kakavasha experience with her, I felt like her impact was there during the whole quest, especially towards the end. (Put the metaphorical pin in that too).

Now, Gallagher. Hooooh this one's - hard. Difficult to pinpoint him and his stance and especially his stakes in this story too. I still think I don't fully get why he believes what he believes in. There's obviously so much more to him and this is the very first glimpse of History Fictionologists and the Enigmata followers. I doubt what we saw was the real him - and he did reveal some very interesting things regarding his path. I think we'll see him again, most likely in another form, most likely more complete. He is just a 'made-up character', even according to himself - his story in Penacony is over, but not in the universe. The Penacony Gallagher may have been Thirteen and younger than Mikhail but whatever bigger thing he seems to be part of seems to be- older. Also kind of hilarious that he actually told truths most of the time - in the most backhanded way possible. Frankly, he deserves a whole ass analysis post for himself (The CREDITS, THE CREEDIITS WHAT DOES IT MEAN??????).

And with this 2.2's second trailblaze quest concludes! See you in part 3!

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Mira Lazine for Erin In The Morning:

On Monday, a team of nine international experts on transgender care drafted a 39-page response paper to the Cass Review. The paper argues that the Cass Review, including the additional York Reviews, has numerous methodological problems in both how it was conducted and how it interprets its data, and that it has been grossly misused by governmental bodies across the world in justifying bans on gender affirming care, especially for minors. The Cass Review is a review of the literature on puberty blockers’ effects on transgender youth conducted by Dr. Hillary Cass, a researcher who has no prior experience working with transgender youth, and who has consulted with Ron DeSantis appointed Florida medical board members in establishing the Review. In addition to the main document outlining clinical recommendations, it also has several systematic reviews conducted by researchers from the University of York. The Review has been used to justify bans on puberty blockers in England, and has been cited in court cases restricting gender affirming care across the United States.

“The Review repeatedly misuses data and violates its own evidentiary standards by resting many conclusions on speculation. Many of its statements and the conduct of the York [systematic reviews] reveal profound misunderstandings of the evidence base and the clinical issues at hand,” says the paper. “The Review also subverts widely accepted processes for development of clinical recommendations and repeats spurious, debunked claims about transgender identity and gender dysphoria. These errors conflict with well-established norms of clinical research and evidence-based healthcare. Further, these errors raise serious concern about the scientific integrity of critical elements of the report’s process and recommendations.” The article is entitled “An Evidence-Based Critique of ‘The Cass Review’ on Gender-affirming Care for Adolescent Gender Dysphoria,” and is authored by Dr. Meredithe McNamara, Dr. Kellan Baker, Dr. Kara Connelly, Dr. Aron Janssen, Dr. Johanna Olson-Kennedy, Dr. Ken C. Pang, Dr. Ayden Scheim, Dr. Jack Turban, and Dr. Anne Alstott. It was announced both by Turban in a post on Twitter, as well as on the Yale Law School’s website. Both McNamara and Alstott are professors at Yale who co-founded the Integrity Project, a project that aims to provide legal justice to marginalized peoples.

The core of the paper is divided into seven sections that each tackle a different element of the Review. The first section focuses on how the Review actually is compliant with established standards of care recommendations for providing legal protections for gender affirming care. The authors compare it to the World Professional Association for Transgender Health’s (WPATH) eighth rendition for standards of care and the Endocrine Society clinical practice guidelines, finding that recommendations for individualized and evidence based care are consistent across these different documents. The authors state, “the Review does not conclude that gender-affirming medical care for adolescent gender dysphoria should be banned. Thus, it should not be cited in support of bans on medical treatments for gender dysphoria.”

[...] This paper shines a new light on interpretations for the Cass Review, suggesting that it’s based on low quality work and has been falsely interpreted in legal proceedings across the world. The lack of expertise from Cass herself contrasts with the expertise of the authors of the paper, all of whom represent institutions across the world that have decades of research and clinical practice on transgender individuals. Legal decisions made using the Cass Review need to be reevaluated in light of the sweeping critiques found within this paper.

Yale Law School researchers wrote an article debunking the anti-trans Cass Review that has been used to justify bans on gender-affirming care in the UK and USA.

[bettsfic]

possibly dumb question but… what exactly is structural editing and how do you do it? i assume it’s shifting the order of stuff around in a draft but how do you do that to end up with a cohesive story that flows in the end? it sounds very daunting!

not a dumb question at all!

structure is, at its core, the organization of a story. for the most part, stories are organized chronologically. we are given information in the order of time passing, and often at the same time the narrator experiences it.

if your story is chronological, structural editing will mostly involve major turning points for the story, ensuring that your tension (even if it is a very loose tension) is escalating. for the most part, writers focus on the escalation of external events while drafting, but the internal escalation sometimes needs to be reorganized or totally re-envisioned. your narrator's epiphany lands after the sequence of events that would prompt that epiphany. i know i have a terrible habit of making my characters realize important things far too early, and in revisions i have to move that realization later, which, yes, involves cutting and pasting and changing the order of things, but also affects the narration based on what the character does not yet know, and sometimes even the action of the story.

so it's cyclical logic in that way, which is why revision can be so hard and frustrating: if you change the character's inner growth, that may affect their actions in the story. if you change their actions in the story, it may affect the rate of their inner growth.

an example is the fanfiction italicized "oh." in other words, the moment your narrator realizes their feelings for their romantic interest. let's say in drafting, you put it in the climax. the narrator spends the story grappling with their feelings, then realizing them, acting on them, and then the romance culminates in a confession and/or a kiss and/or sex, and the story ends.

but how would their behavior change if "oh" was the inciting incident of the story? if they figure it out during the exposition, or maybe even before the story begins, and spend the rest of the story pining, with some other conflict keeping them from expressing their feelings?

very often my developmental edits for people involve something like, "your resolution is the inciting incident of the story you're really trying to tell," which no one ever wants to hear. but it's a good practice when pre-writing to ask yourself if the end of the story you're trying to write is actually the end of the backstory.

drafting (or what i sometimes call the discovery stage) is the order in which your story arrives on the page, and revision is working with what you've written to figure out the order of what must be known. one of the hardest parts of writing is figuring out what your reader needs to know and when they need to know it in order to have the contextual information and emotional priming of what happens thereafter.

although i do very much love when weird shit happens that makes me go ??? and *then* i'm given context in a form of a reveal, or what i call an illuminating moment that casts light on the previous events of the story. many people mistake this for a "twist," which is when the story sets up an expectation and subverts it meaningfully.

of course, you're not obligated to write chronologically. in fact i don't anymore. i prefer framing devices, long backstories, multiple timelines, and alternating points of view that sometimes overlap in time and space. a lot of writing advice will tell you these things are bad. they're not. they're just hard to pull off, because it requires an extra step: telling yourself the story in the order it comes in, figuring out the cause and effect sequence, fixing the cause and effect sequence, and then figuring out the order you want the information to be revealed in beyond the constraining device of time. never let anyone discourage you from experimenting with structure. it can be fun and challenging as both a writer and a reader.

tl;dr: structural or developmental revision is the process of putting your story in the order of the clearest escalating tension and stakes, both internally and externally, with an eye on the organization of the information revealed in the story as the reader would experience it.

[that-ari-blogger]

Connection (Reaching Out)

In the wind up into a series’ final arc, episodes tend to feel janky. As if they are trying to pad out the series or are unsure whether the arc has started or not. As a rule, these tend to be below average in so far as quality goes.

The Owl House, however, exists by subverting expectations, so these episodes are some of its best. Reaching Out, for example, uses the plot limbo to tell a focused story that is by far my favourite episode of the series, as well as being one of my favourite stories ever put to screen.

This episode deals with family first and foremost, specifically through the lenses of grief and legacy. It’s about memory and tradition, as well as connection and love.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD (The Owl House)

The Owl House has a very specific style of story that it likes to tell.

This is different from genre, and part of why I dislike that concept. It’s simultaneously more broad and more specific. The series plays around in fantasy and horror, it takes inspiration from classical epic fantasy as well as shonen anime, it’s a satire of itself.

But that’s just the breakdown of genre, The Owl House’s style of story is centred around quests and humour. Episodes give you a problem that can be tangibly fixed, and either find a solution or work towards it, Understanding Willow gives you a magical accident and a spell to fix said magical accident. It’s self-contained and questy. "Go do x." "Find y." "Bring back the golden hoop of hoopiness." Etc.

This episode does things differently, in the sense that I challenge you to find a tangible solution to the problem of grief and physical distance. Even in The Owl House, dead people stay dead, and there is no foreseeable way to get home within the next day. You can’t fix that; you just have to find a new way of doing things.

It will not have escaped your notice that the episode’s opening scene is the shortest in the series, and that is because it doesn’t need to be longer.

A cold open needs to do one thing and one thing only. It needs to establish the plot of the upcoming episode. It’s a tidy way of getting across the core conflict to come, and let the audience know what they are in for.

This is the issue I have with Batman Beyond, but it’s a minour issue and not the point, so I’ll leave that for a future post.

Reaching Out opens with an event reminder. The scene has no words in it, but it is sold entirely by the acting. The animation conveys the emotions going through Luz’s mind perfectly, and it’s unclear. Guilt, fear, sadness, its ambiguous to allow for a sense of mystery, but you do know that she doesn't feel good about whatever this may be.

Then she presses “Ignore”, and the scene ends.

That’s the entirety of the cold open, any more would feel cluttered, and yet you know exactly what kind of story you are in for. This will be an episode about Luz’s relationship with her mother and will provide detail into how Luz handles her own issues.

That jacket is a gift in this context from Eda. It may be Luz's technically, but this scene sets up Eda giving it to her to help her. Now Luz has a gift from a maternal figure, its a proxy that she will cling to over the course of the episode.

When the episode actually begins, Luz procrastinates on doing the thing she probably needs to do by making a list of everything else in the world that she would rather be doing. So, we get the defining conflict of the episode spelled out more specifically. She’s avoiding something. You could have got that from the opening, but now we get a little insight into why.

“Every year, me and Mom have this little ritual we do. It's nothing big. I just miss her. That's all.”

This episode has a slow burn to it, revealing more and more of the details of this ritual over time. It’s framed as a discovery, which works with the idea of the audience slowly discovering things about Luz.

I want to dwell a little more on the animation of this episode for a moment. I promise I’ll try to talk about other stuff as well, but this episode is just gorgeous to look at.

Luz doesn’t stop moving until the confession. She’s frantic, but in a really smooth way that I find rather interesting. In just the above shot, she flows from one thought to the next, from one action to another.

This creates a feeling of momentum that diminishes over the course of the scene. It’s dynamic, like the series as a whole, but it's slowing down to something slower paced signifies the episode’s decision to focus in on something small.

“What you need is a healthy distraction from your problems.” “I have a problem, and it could distract us all day!”

That’s a very specific word choice to happen twice in twenty seconds, it's almost as if the there’s a theme going on here, and there is. Luz is seeking that distraction from her issue.

Which brings me to the subject of said issue, the grief ritual.

According to a Psychology Today article titled “The Power of Rituals to Heal Grief”:

“Rituals are an important way for people to find meaning when they lose a loved one. Everyone is familiar with rituals. Perhaps you’ve performed them during holidays, in church, or even before ballgames. You may have performed rituals to acknowledge important life changes—graduations, retirements, and even funerals... The power of rituals lies in their symbolism. Consider the ritual of graduation. Walking across a stage and shaking someone’s hand is no big deal as an act in itself. We walk all over the place and shake people’s hands all the time. But this act takes on special meaning when it’s performed at graduation, symbolizing an important transition.”

A grief ritual is crystalised emotion, allowing you to act upon it and let the pain out in a healthy way. In Luz’s case, the picking of flowers brought about a connection between her and her mother. The two grieved together, and now their physical difference means that Luz doesn’t have anyone who understands her pain exactly to share the moment with.

Enter Amity, and I want to cover that scene last, because I believe it to be the series’ magnum opus, and it needs some more build up.

Please remember that this guy helped with the experimentation on the Basilisks. He wasn't just complicit; he was an active participant. Remember that when talking about Warden Wrath.

Amity is going through what I hesitate to call a generic The Owl House plot, but it's definitely something more in the series’ general wheelhouse. She has identified two problems, those being a rift between her and her father, and the decision that was made for her about joining the emperor’s coven; and she has decided upon a solution, win the Bonesborough Brawl.

This is achievable and presents room for hijinks. Its self-contained. But it’s also an example of how well The Owl House handles theme exploration.

Each episode of the of this series has an idea that it wants to explore, and every plot point within it delves into something about that theme. In this case, it’s connection and drifting apart. Amity is drifting away from her father, Luz can’t get to her mother, and the two of them are being driven away from each other by Luz’s increasingly desperate attempts to distract herself.

You would think that grief is a secondary theme here, but it’s not. Connection is a facet of grief as an overarching idea. That’s why this is about grief rituals rather than just the feeling of loss.

The article I mentioned earlier has a passage that goes into this concept in more detail, but from a slightly different perspective.

“For Donald, this ritual was meaningful because it shared his great love of nature with his dad. For his father, it was meaningful, because it kept a piece of his son alive and well. Eventually, Donald passed away. To this day, however, his father visits the preserve four times a year, once for every season. There, he speaks to his son, takes a few pictures, and doesn’t show them to anyone.”

It's about connection to the deceased, with the person gone by. It’s a way of communing with the only thing left of that person, their legacy.

Which reframes Alador a bit here doesn’t it. He’s set up as a mirror to Manny, and yet he’s still alive. Except, is he?

In a physical sense, yes. But the person whom Amity wants to connect with is long gone at this point. Young Alador and Old Alador are very different people, specifically in terms of agency. Young Alador acted, Old Alador reacts.

So, Amity tries her own ritual to connect with the Alador that once was. Alador gets to see this and is forced to think for a moment. Suddenly, his world has been rocked just far enough for him to start listening.

The conversation is all well and good. But for my money, the look of abject pride on Alador's face here sells the connection more than anything. This is someone who, for the first time, has looked at what his daughter is rather than what he wants her to be, and he is proud of what he sees.

“What? You don’t want to join the Emperor’s Coven anymore? But that’s always been your dream.” “No, that’s always been Mom’s dream. And you went along with it. I bet you didn’t even know I was dating Luz!” “Edalyn’s kid?” “See, you don’t talk to us anymore! You’re too busy making these monsters for the Emperor, and Mom’s been too busy trying to dye my hair green.”

Turns out, when you stop listening to your kids for a while, you miss things. Your assumptions might be wrong. Your understanding of who they are might be way off the mark.

That’s what Alador realises here, that the thing he’s been trying to connect with his daughter over was never truly there. So, he takes a different approach.

“I like your new hair colour. Its abomination coloured.” “Finaly someone gets it. Can you tell Mom that?” “I’ll talk to her.”

The hair dying has been a symbol of agency for Amity over the course of the series. It was green as she sought her mother’s approval, then that faded and she was given the choice of what to do, and she chose the pink. It’s an expression of her own wants and desires, and she wants to be like her father.

Alador’s new approach isn’t to bond with his daughter over expectations, its to take an interest in something she does, and find common ground there.

I like the act of reaching for a hug and getting subverted. The relationship has mostly collapsed, and they’re now rebuilding it almost from scratch.

“It’s a start.”

Connection, relationships, love, loss. We have some key themes, let’s get into that tree scene.

I’m not going to give you the entire scene here, watch the episode. Writing out the words doesn’t have nearly the same impact as the stellar voice acting.

Instead, I want to highlight how this episode achieves its nuance, and that is through the grief rituals that I have kept mentioning. Any story can talk about how loss makes someone feel, but this doesn’t mention that at all. Instead, it highlights how the physical separation interrupts with the process.

Luz’s grief centres around sharing that emotion with her mother, she expresses it through the practiced motion of picking flowers with someone else who can share her pain.

“I don’t know what rituals you have in the Human Realm, but, I’ll help you pick some flowers, and we can do something here!”

Amity doesn’t know what Luz is going through, but she can empathise. She can see her girlfriend is going through something and help her out. She can take the place in the ritual and allow Luz to grieve.

Love isn’t about the good times, it’s about everything. Love is about joy and heartbreak and triumph and loss. Its about sharing emotions together, lifting each other to new heights, and supporting each other in the lowest moments.

The episode doesn’t give us a fix to its issue. Luz is still separated from her mother, but it gives us a substitute, and that leans in to a theme I haven’t really mentioned yet at all in my coverage of the series, distance.

Yes, the obvious of Luz being away from home and wanting to get back has been a core part of the plot, but the series hasn’t really engaged with what that means up until now.

Sometimes distance separates people, whether it be through forced movement, or just the twists and turns of life. And sometimes that comes in the way of rituals like this. Do you bottle up the emotions until you get back? No. You find a new way of doing thing, you adapt, you change. You find the light.

Light, do not faulter.

Final Thoughts

This episode also establishes lore for how the Wild Witches work, specifically through that idea of connection again. The Wild Witches are a group of people who accept and protect each other, you don’t have to be skilled at anything to be a Wild Witch, you don’t have to meet any criteria. Which is good, because Edric is awful at potion magic. But that’s not the point, the point is that he has an interest in going outside the box, the point is the effort not the execution.

Considering how the Emperor made wild magic illegal, the Bad Girl Coven takes on a ton of queer/pride coding. They support each other because nobody else will. Anyone who slips through the cracks has a home in the Bad Girl Coven. Just like pride, where there isn't a bar at a parade that says: "you must be this gay to enter", it's about accepting everyone for who they are.

Next up is Them's The Breaks, Kid, so stick around if that interests you.

Previous - Next

[scarlet--wiccan]

There’s a (admittedly unverified) rumor that Orlando said the variant witch girl with the pink hair/purple outfit would be showing up in SW 6. But now we know she’s going to be on a team with the other new champions characters (and Justin Jin). Do you have any thoughts on this? I’m a little overwhelmed. I like the design enough but it seems like there’s so many young superheroes and especially magicians they’re all getting the short end of the stick rn

Before I get too far ahead of myself, I can confirm that Orlando teased that the character in question (pictured below) would appear in an upcoming issue of Scarlet Witch. It was on twitter, and I don't have the post saved-- it may have been deleted-- so you'll just have to take my word for it, but I definitely saw it.

I don't mind these characters being adapted into canon, but I definitely find them redundant and uninteresting. It is absolutely frustrating to see new characters come and go every few years, especially when these younger casts are where Marvel allots most of its token inclusivity. It's hard not to roll your eyes whenever a new crop of kids rolls in, while characters we met five or ten years ago are still waiting for their time in the sun.

For anyone who's not sure what we're talking about, last year, Marvel put out a collection of "New Champions" variant covers that were based loosely on the new Spider-Boy character. The idea was that artists would design hypothetical sidekicks or successors for existing heroes. These characters were not, initially, meant to be included in canon, however, several of them were introduced in the current Spider-Woman series as part of a team called the Alliance. It was later revealed that the kids were victims of HYDRA scientists who had given them artificial powers and false memories-- their hokey junior-Avenger personas, therefore, were illusions belying a much darker origin story. I thought that it was a clever way to justify the intentionally cartoonish, reductive character concepts while actually giving them depth and pathos.

This week at SDCC, Marvel presented promotional art teasing an upcoming story involving even more of these "New Champions" alongside the Alliance members and a few other recent characters like Kid Juggernaut. I expect that many of these characters will introduced individually over the next few months-- the blue-themed Ghost Rider in the center will be featured in October's Robbie Reyes special, and the pink-haired girl in the top left will allegedly appear in an upcoming issue of Scarlet Witch. If they stick to Spider-Woman's playbook and give the cast a believable reason for their copycat powers and getups, then I can buy into it.

Junior legacy characters are a harder sell than I think most people realize. Marvel's done it a few times, but most of these titles, like Young Avengers or Children of the Atom, subvert the premise by revealing that the kids aren't what they initially seem. Champions played it straigt, but it worked because it had a strong core cast of pre-existing characters. These "New Champions" need to change it up, or else they'll feel exactly like the cheap imitation they always have been.

As for Wanda-- I'm not really interested in giving her a new protogee when she's got two kids of her own, a young niece, Darcy, Holly, and a whole school full of students to pick from.

[candiid-caniine]

gender euphoria

[cw: this is NOT a detrans/misgendering kink post, but tries to subvert some of those tropes, so please treat it with caution!]

sissy kink blogs DNI

outside the bedroom, i demand respect. i own my pronouns, talk openly about genderqueerness, and flaunt androgyny.

but inside the bedroom...my relationship with gender changes. i'm transsexual in the sense that power dynamics in my sexual relationships directly influence my gender(s). what do i mean by this? i mean i want you to treat my non-conformity as a blank slate on which to project your preferred gender.

i am an "it," first and foremost. but i can be a "she," a "they," or a "he" if so inclined. i can be your butch, your femme, your fag, your twink, your femboy, whatever you want me to be.

and i'll resist. that's part of the fun of it: in day-to-day life, i'm most comfortable as an occasionally femme-leaning androgyne. that makes it fun to push back, easy to feel vulnerable, uncomfortable, and a little self-conscious (though not dysphoric) in a different presentation.

i take any pronouns, after all. so butches who love femmes, goad me into skirts, lacy lingerie, makeup, stockings, heels. watch me falter and cling to your side when we go out, feeling like i'm being stared at, unaccustomed to the kind of attention high-femmes usually get. make me show off my cleavage. call me "she" exclusively without switching. call me a good girl, call me a princess, make me suck your cock like a good little wife. force me to grow my hair out for you, yes, the undercut, too, and watch me get fussy and flustered at the unwelcome sensory input of it touching my neck. get me long acrylics, watch me fumble at everything requiring the use of my fingers; step in to help, coo over your clumsy girl - it's basically like mitting a puppy, isn't it?

if you prefer masc partners, get me a binder. watch me squirm at the compression. get me on a workout regimen to bulk up, even; spend a lot of time proving to me that no matter how fit i get, you'll always overpower me. no more cutesy hair clips, no more high-waisted jeans, or skirts, or femme-ish jewelry: make me your boyfriend. coach me into talking in a lower register. order T for me off the dark web, admire my stubble and my bottom growth. if you top, fuck me in the ass exclusively. if you bottom, get me the strap that best reflects your preferences. i'd even get top surgery, as long as you're paying~

or mix the two. make me your femboy. get me a packer, but also dresses. nitpick me over the right mix of boy-as-girly, watch me get more and more desperate to please your expectations, until at last i'm just surrendering my wardrobe to you, losing confidence in my ability to dress "properly." call me a good boy, your pretty little prince. i'm even okay with the gentle kind of goading, the presentation-shaming, calling me soft, saying i'm not dressing like a real man, if that's what you want.

or just lean in fully to the genderless thing that i want to be in the bedroom, but make it be all the time. what does an "it/its" look like? when your gender is pet, how do you present in public? well, that's up to you. maybe it's the most revealing clothes you can find, or simply the most embarrassing: underwear and pants that are a bit too small, riding up my ass and cunt constantly. shirts with slogans like "young, dumb, and full of cum" or "clown school graduate." anything that makes other people think i'm ditzy, impressionable, and silly, or don't know my own wardrobe sizes. collars, 24/7, are, of course, mandatory. maybe cuffs, too.

the whole time, watch me be unsure as my androgyny is picked apart, more and more of my core gender identity bent to your whims. watch me automatically start to seek your approval on any piece of clothing or jewelry i own. i'll start letting you speak to the hairdresser at salons, giving up any autonomy i have over my own hairstyle. you could take me to a piercer or a plastic surgeon or a tattoo artist, tell them what you want me to look like, and i'll sign the consent forms. treat my lack of gendered presentation as a clean slate, free for you to write your mark all over. make me your creature. as if i wasn't already.