#but they're just so silly and aww

[fairytalesofforever]

chatfics my beloved

[iftheresaholetheresagoal]

Skrunkly🥺

[aromanticasterisms]

i started this side quest off going girl i cannot POSSIBLY be this stupid. then saw my friends and went oh okay all of this was worth it actually :]

[bumblingbabooshka]

I love how Janeway’s like “Neelix I can’t believe you turned my private dining room into a place to serve food to the crew” .... girl.

[quilleth]

One of my favorite things to do when I need a quick cheer up is read the tags on the art I've commissioned or received of Vanora. Like yes good, right reaction to everyone being thirsty in the tags xD Unfortunately, she would never notice it for a multitude of reasons and that always makes me giggle

[lxnarphase]

━━ ❝ come and put your name on it ❞

special treatment : lap edition

☾₊‧⁺...ft. : gojo satoru + geto suguru + nanami kento + fushiguro toji + hakari kinji

☾₊‧⁺...cw : cockwarming, somnophilia, dirty talk, grinding + dry humping, fingerfucking, overstimulation, praise kink, edging, oral fixation, satoru's silly pet names, suguru being smug, kento being a desperate man, toji being toji, kinji being a bully

✧ g. satoru : sometimes gojo knows he fucks you too good to the point you can't think after, something he brags about to you all the time. but when you snuggle up to him, still stuffed with his cock and warm with his cum, he can't help but run his hands all over you. and when he realizes you fell asleep on his dick, his heart squeezes and his cock throbs hard.

"pretty angel, did you fall asleep? oh, that's just precious...you're making my heart squeeze, i wish i had my phone, you look so cute like this." "did you say my name? dreaming about me? god, you're so precious, i could just fuck you like this...shit, don't fuckin' squeeze on me like that, are you having a wet dream right now? god, i love you so fucking much." "aww, my little mochi is so cute! look at youuu, you're gushin' all over the place. messy fucking pussy too small to keep my cock and all my cum inside you." "mm, fuck, pretty thing. you wakin' up? hi pretty girl...oooh, fuck, d-did you just cum? holy fuck, c'mon, baby, on your back, lemme fuck you, princess, let 'toru make you cum again, yeah?”

✧ g. suguru : suguru's softly cooing at you when you sleepily walk into the living room, whining to him that you had a dream and you wanted him to 'fix the problem he caused.' all he can do is just chuckle at how childish and bratty you can be as his hands are moving up and down your sides while he grinds up into you.

"you're such a brat, you know that right? always blaming me for your dreams. it's not my fault you can't stop thinking about how good i fuck you." "hmm? ooh, i see...you keep having dreams of me cumming inside you, hm? are you trying to say something, princess? d'you want me to start breeding you?" "i didn't say stop moving, did i? or do you need me to do all the work? heh, so spoiled, i've spoiled you absolutely rotten." "i know, but just cum once like this, won't you? if you do, i promise i'll fill your cute pussy with my cum, okay? mhm, promise, princess, i'll give you what you need."

✧ n. kento : nanami loves having you close to him, especially when you sit in his lap. it lets him nuzzle his nose into your neck, pressing little kisses where he can while your legs are spread over his strong thighs, his thick fingers leisurely pumping in and out of your needy hole, chuckling against your skin whenever you jolt.

"honey, have i mentioned how gorgeous you are? you look so beautiful like this...spread open and wanting, just for me." "you're sucking my fingers in so well. look at that...do you think you can take a third?" "it's so messy. look at what you've done to my fingers, honey, they're soaked. clean them off for me, i want you to taste yourself before i put them back in. maybe tonight we can make you squirt, hm? do you wanna try, darling?" "you think you're going to cum again? poor thing, your little cunt is so greedy, she just wants to cum over and over again on my fingers...is my cock not good enough for you, mm? aww, don't pout, i'm just teasing you, darling." "i know, i know, it's too much, but you can take it. be my good girl, just take it and keep cumming until you can't anymore."

✧ f. toji : sitting on toji's lap is, in his mind, an invitation for him to run his hands all over you. his cock is already hard in his sweats, but he's subdued the second you get comfortable and slowly grind against him, groaning when you press sweet kisses into his neck.

"tch, are you gonna let me fuck your thighs t'night? pretty please? yeah, that's right, i'm askin' nicely. why? don't play stupid, doll, you know what they do to me." "shit...keep moving those hips, sweetheart, you feel so fuckin' good like this." "god, i can feel that pretty pussy leaking through my sweats. big bad toji make you that fuckin' wet, mama? y'like grinding that clit on my dick through my pants? dirty fucking girl." "mmh, you keep tugging my hair like that and I'm not even gonna take you to the bedroom, i will fuck you into this damn couch, woman.” "listen here, wifey, I'll wreck your cunt until you can't think about anything but me inside you. hell, I'll ruin this stupid couch in the process, i don't give a fuck about stainin' it."

✧ h. kinji : when you sit on kinji's lap, it's when he's watching a fight on tv. you can tell it's not going how he wants it to go, the toothpick between his teeth being gnawed on. when you make eye contact with him, he just raises an eyebrow, one of his hands squeezing your hip.

"cupcake, do me a favor and get on my dick before i get up and give us a reason to get a new tv." "hey, hey, don't move yet, let me see if he lands this punch...don't whine like that before i put my fingers in that pretty little mouth t' shut you up." "you always squeeze so tight when i press down on your tongue like this...pretty thing likes that shit, doesn't she? go on, fuck yourself on my dick while you drool all on my fingers like a slut." "mm, shit, baby, i can't focus on that bullshit fight, lemme help you. yeah, thaaaat's it, let your boy fuck you nice and deep, make ya cream, juuuust like this."

all rights reserved © lxnarphase | do not repost, copy, translate, or alter my work

[that1randomname]

NEW SOMEWHAT REAL VIDEO OUT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[queenpiranhadon]

So, it's basically canon that Pro Heroes come to assist heroes in training at UA, right?

Just imagine the horror the new generation of heroes would face when they realize that their opponent for training that day is none other than the Number Two Pro Hero, Dynamight.

It's a hero team vs villain simulation - a joint practice between both hero course classes - Katsuki basically has free range to destroy the mock city UA had built and the students had to prevent him from doing so, which was really just a waste of money because of the Pro Hero's already destructive tendencies.

He already had to regulate himself for Pro Hero work, so this was really just waving the reg flag in front of the bull.

Needless to say, they all got their asses kicked, all 40 of them. Whether it was due to falling debris or evading explosions, all of them were forced to wave their white flags eventually.

The students weren't so much in shock, they were in awe, of how a Pro Hero could be so powerful and intimidating, and well...badass.

Their main takeaway? Katsuki Bakugou was an impenetrable force to be reckoned with.

Or... at least for a few minutes.

You can imagine the shock on their faces when the grim and serious expression on Dynamight's face melts instantly when he hears a voice speak up behind him.

"Katsuki, if you keep frowning all the time, you're going to get wrinkles."

He turns around, a rare smile stretching across his face as he stares at you, his wife, like you're the only person in the world at that moment, like you're the only one that matters.

"Tch. I don't get wrinkle lines, woman. Yer just seein' things."Despite his slight harsh words, they're softer, somehow, and the happy twinkle in his eyes is unmistakable.

The students gape at each other. The Dynamight, Katsuki Bakugou , in love? The same pro hero that was wreaking havoc and creating carnage in his wake was the same one now staring at his wife with a dopey grin and peppering kisses across your face.

"Katsuki!" You whine, but it looses its credibility as you start to laugh at his antics. "What's gotten into you, huh?" you ask, a little softer, so that only he could hear.

He looks at you, a soft look in his eyes as he kisses you gently and lovingly pulling away to admire your pretty face.

"M'just feeling sentimental I guess... We were probably their age when we started dating huh?" He says, referring to the students.

You snort, recalling the time when Katsuki first asked you out. "Aww...is my baby feeling sentimental? You were a dork back then."

Katsuki looks offended and his grumbles, nipping your jawline in annoyance."Oi. I was not a dork back then. If anything, Izuku was the dork."

You smile teasingly, kissing his nose, effectively shutting your explosive husband up.

"Is that so? Because I recall you had your All Might posters set up in chronological order of his costume eras."

Katsuki's ears turn red and his large hand wraps around the back of your hand, burying your face in his chest.

"Shaddup woman. Yer the one who fell for this dork in the first place."

You laugh, your voice muffled by his chest, but he can still hear you just fine. Looking up at him you smile.

"You may be a dork, but you're my dork."

The students watch is abosolute shock, mouth gaping open as they wonder how the hell you were able to render Katsuki Bakugou to the sappy man they saw in front of them.

A/N: He's so silly I love him 🥰

[me-writes-prompts]

:-Soft moments that are just so precious-:

By @me-writes-prompts

Those nights when they come home late and see you asleep on the couch and they come, pick you up and tuck you into bed with a kiss on your forehead(WHEN WILL THIS HAPPEN TO MEEEEE)

Them kissing you repeatedly when you do something cute and they can't hold in their aww

Those tight hugs they give you after coming home, and you just squeeze back and melt in them because they are your home>>>>>>

"I missed you so much, love. I wish I could teleport to see you." (yesssss)

Putting their foreheads together and just being content with each other's presence

Those slow dances in the kitchen while they cook together

^^"I could do this forever." "What, cook?" "No, you silly! I meant dancing with you." and then they laugh and pull you into one of the most passionate kiss ever.

Friendly debates that quickly end with them laughing at how ridiculous it was

Long walks, hand in hand, your head leaning on their shoulder(AHHH-)

Them repeatedly telling you they'll never leave you when you start to doubt everything

Kissing you, and then putting their hands around your neck to stay like that for the next seconds, minutes as you two get lost in each other.

Those little teasing moments when they're all goofy and you just skfsjhfksklj melttttt

Lying their head on your lap while they read a book, and once in a while peek from it and you give them a kiss on their forehead every time, because they are just so adorable

Giving you a head message

Them poking your cheeks when you smile because they think your smile is the best thing in the world

Hugging you from behind, and then taking that opportunity to tickle you

Those little head pats as a way of saying that they are proud of you

Bread cheeks that you can't help but pull on them

Them giving you puppy eyes that you can't resist and give them a kiss

When they pout because you don't give them enough attention, and they just come to you and cling to you like a koala

Making hearts with their hands when they catch your eyes and grinning widely(hehehehe)

[breathinlove]

gf!ellie headcanons

read this

sinopse: ellie williams is your girlfriend, modern au.

cw: ig ellie grabs boobs?? sfw tho. basic fluff, ellie is just silly, puppy love again, mention of dealer!ellie, not explicit if reader is fem or masc, not proofread (it's never proofread tbh!).

gf!ellie who pokes your inner cheek with her tongue when you kiss or blows in your mouth "elliuhhhh" ands she's definitely gonna chuckle like "heheh"... she's SOOO SILLY.

gf!ellie who doesn't ever just invite you over, she has to make an excuse, something about how you do her hair better or how she needs skin care.

gf!ellie who doesn't have any stream apps like netflix or prime, she's a piracy master from practice (getting several viruses on joel's old computer).

gf!ellie who watches and listens to anything you like because she loves you but you can see it in her pained face that she's bored, but she'll sit through it and lie "it's cool, babe".

gf!ellie who sends the most unfunny (hilarious) reels, you can hear her wheezing while she's in the bathroom.

gf!ellie who, still talking about her bathroom texts, lets you know like fr "the hardest shit of my life istg that was a rock?" and you will laugh and buy her plums to help your constipated baby.

gf!ellie who has the most fun with you, sleeping at ellies is just like having a girls night sleepover.

gf!ellie who will skin care with you and watch youtube (shes a youtube kid)

"pooks can we watch this streamer now?" she points at the screen, while you untangle her stupid hair. "careful yeah?" she hisses when you catch a knot and you kiss her scalp "yes im sorry my love". and she'll look back at you to give you the sweetest cutest smile that makes you sick to your stomach.

gf!ellie who is a weed dealer but is also a homebody. so goes to them parties just to deal "just business babe" like she's going to the office or sum.

gf!ellie with whom everyone knew you were dating before you two even admited you had crushed on eachother. she'd protest to your friends "no... like, we're real good friends" as she blushed and you giggled 'yeah's.

gf!ellie who has cold ass hands and they're always inside your shirt when you're cuddling

"babeeeee let me warm up" trying to shove her feet inside your pants??? when the laughter dies, her hand that's up your shirt WILL find your tits.

gf!ellie who takes pictures of you when you're asleep, not to tease you or anything, she just thinks you're cute.

gf!ellie who only drives when she absolutely has to... but she's always there to drive you anywhere you need.

gf!ellie who goes "aww you're so preeeetty" out of nowhere and gives you a smooch on your face.

a/n: i need a gf yall, send applications please ❤️

[coffinpal]

"Aww, are the fishes not bitin' today? Bless yer heart."

"Don't yall worry 'bout it none! I can catch more than Donnie!! I'm gon' use mah fancy portal magic ta' bring themm fishie here!"

"NOOO!"

:,) i made a hillbilly rise au

I just started recently doodling this between working on redline episode 2. not sure what to name it yet, but I'm open to suggestions.

my only ideas for this so far:

they live somewhere in the Appalachian mountains so they are hillbillies

they have a farm

splinter used to be a country music singer and he was mutated by draxum when he was on tour in New York.

they live near a small town and no one cares that they're green, i think I might give them jobs around town

donnie is the only turtle with a vehicle, a truck. the others bum rides off him.

They still have their mystic powers it's just altered a bit:

raph still has his giant projection which is a big help around the farm

mikey still has the mystic hands

leo can teleport he just doesnt have swords, he can use any object like a wand to open a portal

donnie can create tools like in the little comic up there he made his fishing rod

this is all concept rn ig

This is a silly au idea but i really love drawing nature scenes and this is how im gonna do it >:)

[ckret2]

@marsupials-of-mars submitted:

I was planning to do maybe a fic and more doodles of this but now I'm busy with school so I might as well show what I did do!

Based on how the goldilocks fic seems to posit that Bill at his best is a silly professor who loves to teach his own way

Introducing Professor Locke!

Things about this idea:

-post redemption, however that will go. I'm calling it an AU because I imagine it is not your plan for what happens after lol, but currently canon-compliant.

-Bill is at first not very on board with the idea of working in the higher education system. It's a scam and it's dumb that they tell adult people how to think.

-He's eventually convinced to bless Backupsmore with his tutelage, on the grounds that they're less stuck up there, they seem to care about giving their students opportunities despite their backgrounds, and the kids there care about learning rather than going to college just because their parents said they should.

-Ford uses his academic connections to vouch for Bill even though he is very mysterious and has no academic records. This is another reason why they picked Backupsmore: i's a little more lax when presented with a shockingly smart mystery professor. Bill gets an interview and charms the pants off the university president.

-He teaches "astrophysics" in theory (that's the job description) but he ends up teaching a little bit of everything.

-He's one of those professors you either adore or despise. He's very loud, often outright mean, and if you're too shy to speak up in class he does not give a SHIT about you. You gotta want it!

-However, his class is notoriously easy. He thinks homework and tests are facist, but he's required to have a curriculum, so his "quizzes" are like a few true or false questions and then a short answer where he asks something he thinks would be funny or wants to hear about, like "what's the dumbest thing another student has said in class since the last test and why was it dumb" or "fashion advice: what's the coolest thing I wore this last week? Extra credit: draw something cooler I SHOULD wear."

-as a result, students who have completely unrelated majors will take his class. If they end up being interested, he deems them worthy. If they're just there to be lazy, he will bully them into dropping out.

-Mabel buys him stickers to put on people's tests when they pass, or to just hand out when they something he likes. He gets along most with the college kids who know how to appreciate a classic gold star.

-He really wanted a big pretty lecture hall, where his voice would echo and he could point at a big chalkboard. But all Backupsmore could provide was a cinderblock and linoleum basement classroom. The lights buzz very loudly and it smells musty. They have stools and folding tables. Bill finds he enjoys the more intimate environment where he can walk between the tables and also sneak up on people.

-He's broken multiple folding tables by trying to do the cool professor thing where you hop up onto your desk and cross your legs and talk all casual. He is able to do this on his own desk thankfully. It's aluminum.

-Ford gets a bit nervous if he did the right thing when bill tells his school stories at the dinner table, so he finds an excuse to accompany Bill to a campus event where he can meet some of his students.

-His fears are quickly assuaged when he sees how beloved Bill is and how well he gets along with the kids. When he eventually joins in on one of these conversations, one of the students asks if he's Sixer. The students are excited by this. Bill tries to shut them up, to partial success.

OK I guess I just ended up writing the fic more or less so enjoy I guess lol.

Aww, this is adorable! Thank you! (And the fact that you're imagining a future for Bill makes me so happy.) He's absolutely be the weirdest professor in the school and he'd ADORE having a crowd full of trusting impressional minds whose parents are paying him to change the way they think. Talk about playing to his strengths.

Your idea is so wholesome, meanwhile the moment I saw "Professor Bill" I went,

[cloudster-clown]

OH BOY REMEMBER THIS FORMAT? HEHE OK TIME TO NARRATE THIS SILLY LITTLE COMIC >:D

Both Chayanne and Tallulah made their papa a cupcake :D Aww they wanna give him a gift after taking care of them after this whole time! Lets go to Phil and see his reaction!

SURPRISE-

Oh... Phil??? WAKE UP?!?

Chaynne? Tallulah? Don't mind your dad, surely he's just taking a small little nap haha...

OH GOD, IT'LL BE OKAY! DON'T PANIC!! OH GOD OH FUCK!!!

Chayanne... Tallulah... :(

OH? HE'S ALIVE?!? SO HE REALLY WAS SLEEPING...

Oh! It turns out he was just sunbathing. He sunbathes like that in order to keep his feathers nice and healthy, he usually does it when no one is looking in order to avoid being in awkward situations. Chayanne and Tallulah are one of the few that walked in on him like this.

Phil apoligizes scaring both of his kids like that. He then asked them both if they'd like to sunbathe with him especially after a scare like that. Chayanne and Talullah hesitates at first but then agreed(rip to that cupcake I guess).

Family bonding time? They look relaxed so it's going well I guess?

Oh hey Bad! Don't mind the family, they're sunbathing-

Nevermind TwT (not again)

[mountainficss]

Hiii pretty! I love your mind honestly💖 you wrote about the puppie threesome and it was soooo freaking good!!! it got me thinking about threesome with two kitty cats... woozi and wonwoo sub kittens who aren't very physical until they're needy 😫😫😫😫

!! mentions of: sub!jihoon, sub!wonwoo, threesome, unprotected sex, teasing, nipple play

ahhh thank you sooo much i am so glad you enjoyed it! that makes me so happy <3 and omg i LOVE this idea anon.

i looove thinking about the kitty duo. jihoon and wonwoo would naturally be very mellow and easygoing, not needing much to be satisfied. jihoon would enjoy staying in the peaceful quiet of your home, easily finding things to keep him entertained. wonwoo would also enjoy the calming atmosphere of your apartment, finding it the perfect place to wind down and play games on his computer. the both of them can be a bit independent, but they’d always appreciate the time they spend with you. they definitely love the quality time more than anything, and just being able to be around you would make them very happy kitties. on their regular days, they wouldn’t need more than a sweet kiss to get them by (they’d never be opposed to more of course; they’re just not openly touchy). they also might go out of their way to start little convos with you just because they love you and love talking to you :)

on days where they’re needy, you would notice the difference in behavior right away. they’re very subtle about their delivery, but it doesn’t take much for you to tell since they’re not usually touchy. when you’re in the kitchen, jihoon might graze his hands over your body more often than usual under the guise of getting around you. might even let his hands hover on your waist, even giving it a small squeeze before letting you go. he’d also sit closer to you than normal when you’re seated on the couch, lacing his fingers carefully with yours and running his thumb over your knuckles. you’d shoot him a knowing glance, but would only be met with a flustered jihoon who seemed set on avoiding your gaze. wonwoo would act in a similar fashion, finding any excuse to touch you. he’d beg you to try the new computer game he downloaded, having you sit at his desk and play while he watches. he’d even place his hands over yours, guiding them over the correct keys. wonwoo would also hover behind you in the bathroom when you’re applying your skincare, settling his chin on your shoulder and gazing at you in the mirror. you’d find his clingy behavior a bit silly if he hadn’t turned his head and buried his face into your neck, giving the skin a few heated pecks.

your apartment would practically be buzzing with sexual tension by the end of the day, and you’d become irritated knowing that your two pretty kitties aren’t sprawled out beneath you right this instant. so you’d take matters into your own hands, snatching them both by the collars of their shirts and dragging them to your bedroom. you’d strip without any words, and the pretty boys would follow your lead with no questions asked. they’d try to be discreet about it, but they love being under your control. jihoon might be a bit huffy and wonwoo a bit timid, but when it comes to you and your pleasure they’d immediately drop to their knees for you.

you’d decide on toying with jihoon first, always finding his pouty expression and flushed cheeks adorable. jihoon would lie beneath you, his pretty pale skin completely exposed. you’d straddle him, hovering over his length and simply grinding down once. wonwoo would be seated right behind you, watching over your shoulder as you use jihoon and fisting the blankets below him. jihoon would let out the tiniest of whimpers, trying his hardest to hold back his embarrassing sounds as you grind your wet heat against him. you’d run your fingers over his hardened nipples, relishing in the way jihoon flinches beneath you. “aww, jihoonie. feels too good, hm?” you’d tease him, cupping his face gently and rubbing a thumb across his heated skin. “want me to use you an’ fuck you, right jihoonie? bet it feels good to let go,” you’d continue, watching his face become even redder at your dirty words. he’d always get so adorably pouty when you said such vulgar things, because he knew they were true. “s-stop,” he’d whine, eyes rolling back as you slide his throbbing length into your hole slowly. he’d let out a wanton moan, his hands shooting up to your hips and grasping the flesh harshly. he’d occasionally buck his hips up into you, unable to resist you and needing to feel more. “you might even be needier than wonwoo, baby,” you’d coo, glancing behind you to look at wonwoo’s cute expression. his eyes were widened and glassy, hands still twisted in the sheets in an attempt to control himself. jihoon would just let out another frustrated whine, face becoming increasingly red from your teasing. he hated and loved when you teased him; he’d never admit to liking the muddled feelings of embarrassment and arousal every time you spoke to him.

you’d circle your hips, suddenly bouncing harshly on his length and pulling a surprised moan from sweet jihoon. he’d try his best to hold back his whimpers, but lewd sounds would just keep slipping from his lips uncontrollably as you pleasure him. you could feel wonwoo’s warm presence behind you, and you’d reach back with one hand to grab a fistful of his hair. wonwoo would moan gently, his hands gravitating towards your waist and gripping softly. he loved seeing the way you bounced on jihoon, and watching the both of you pleasure each other would make wonwoo’s cock twitch with want. you could feel wonwoo’s erection against you, smiling to yourself as you continued to ruin jihoon. jihoon would be a moaning mess as he gets closer and closer to his release, his hands getting restless as they travel up and down your body. “c-cumming…” jihoon would trail helplessly, unable to hold back his orgasm and shooting ropes inside of you. you’d slow your pace a bit, helping him ride out his high and making sure his release stays stuffed in your hole. “such a good kitty, jihoonie,” you’d coo, admiring his gorgeous blissed out expression. when you feel jihoon soften inside you, you’d slide off of his cock, immediately sinking down onto wonwoo’s erection with no warning. you’d grind down hard against him, feeling his grip on your waist tighten as jihoon just watches dazedly. you were slick with jihoon’s previous release and your own arousal, and it was easy for you to completely envelop wonwoo’s length. wonwoo would bite back a groan, eventually giving up as you continue your grinding. “ready for your turn, kitty~?” you’d smirk, glancing back at wonwoo and giving him your prettiest smile. wonwoo would nod eagerly, unconsciously bucking his hips up into yours at the pet name.

out of every other activity, playing with your needy kitties would be your favorite pastime <3

taglist: @jeonghanpill , @bangantokchy , @caratboy , @bewoyewo , @luvseungcheol , @wonvsmile , @haolovre , @aaniag , @writingbarnes , @dokyeomkyeom , @allieyaaa

[spitdrunken]

more bill please. i need him to laugh at me and talk to me in a very sweet voice about how dumb and weak i am and how i only need him. maybe put his fingers in my mouth as a treat

notes: humiliation (!!!), implied mind-reading, implied obsessive behaviour, bill is mean(!!!) and finally: unreality warning (sorry for doing something creative with your request at the end /lh)

"aww, look at you! poor little meatbag, leaking soooo much from your mouth-hole..." he speaks with unrestrained glee, laughter always seconds away.

bill's fingers are digging into your mouth. your jaw hurts from being open for so long. though they're relatively small, his fingers still count as intrusions. he digs them into your molars, and rubs them along your gums. he dips them into the spit gathered underneath your tongue, and tugs at the muscle in question. it'd be more difficult not to drool all over yourself in this situation.

"must've been soooo hard to live your life before i came around, huh? so stupid and silly i'm surprised you even made it this far! just so you know, there really have been multiple points in your life where you almost died, without even knowing it... but now you have me! even a dumb meatsack like you can cling to existence when you've got a guy like me looking out for you, huh?"

(still, as much as it humiliates you, you cannot deny that this is doing something for you. your face is ablaze, your heart is racing, your breaths are quick. if you try, you can perhaps convince yourself that it's fear, rather than anything else.)

when you simply close your eyes, you can almost imagine that bill is telling you the sweetest things. he speaks to you with the tone and cadence of an owner fussing over their still-waddling puppy, the knowledge of superiority ever-present. but, really, bill's voice is too shrill for any whispering of sweet nothings. it shatters any semblance of peace.

"i take offense to that, you know! when someone's indulging some of your deepest fantasies, the least you can do is not insult the guy." the demon in question chirps. the lighthearted manner in which he says it is a mere smokescreen. if your mere instincts telling you so aren't enough, his fingers dip in too far down your throat and you gag, bile tickling the furthest edge of your throat.

"sorry..." you garble around his fingers, tongue twitching and curling around them in an attempt to get the message across. bill merely hums in response, pinching your tongue once more for good measure.

"it's okay," bill cooes at you. "i know it's not your fault. so many lives bouncing around in your noggin somewhere, just out of reach. you're just a single-faced, single-minded vessel for something much, much larger than yourself, aren't you? and that's the most interesting part about you."

for a moment, your mind halts and stutters, wondering if you made it up. this is not... sexy talk, is it? this is not like anything you were expecting. in all honesty, you're a bit confused. bill is no longer looking at you. instead, his pupil is darting all over the room, seeming to search for something, but failing to find it. in the end, he merely looks up.

"i know you're there. seeing this all through this... blank slate. i know everything, and you, you--" he laughs, shrill and short. "you are practically oozing with desperation. you are! look, kid. i get it. i'm a real catch. but instead of reading words on a paper, maybe just summon me instead, huh? i'm sure we can come to some kind of agreement! ...but maybe if you try hard enough, some of your words might reach me, too."

bill pulls his fingers out of 'your' mouth and, though they're still slick with spit, he snaps them. "end scene!"

[c4k9]

Can I just say I think it's so funny that in Jack Manhattan's intro he effortlessly pulls the pin on a grenade, plays hackysack with it, and launches it at a tank.

Then in episode 3 Izzy is like "aww no fire arms I was wanting a grenade:(" and Brennan goes "you can have a grenade, that's not a firearm :)"

So he chucks the grenade at the group of people and then immediately regrets it, and decides he's going to run after the grenade to try to put the pin back, the only thing saving him being the giant behemoth crime boss of a man who is definitely not a rip on kingpin, being piloted by a teenage girl, volleyball spiking it and clutching it in his hand around the grenade while it explodes. And he's just fine bc action movie logic.

Nevermind the martial artist gymnastic group they're fighting that are all 30 born on the same day that only train at night.

Go watch never stop blowing up it's so fucking silly and unhinged.