#but way too strict to work with
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Boss' Niece I don't know the plot of this imaginary episode but she's like, one of boss' brother's daughter KJSBDF
I just imagine her to admire her "Uncle Boss" alot and aspire to work in the lab, the one boss is running. So far she already worked in other labs already, and just now she's interning at boss' lab. Possibly to gain boss' trust to be his successor or somethin- SIgh, i don't know how to words, i havent spoke english like a thesaurus in years.
#lamput#lamput fanart#omg no main docs again#lamput oc#she's terrifyingly efficient#but way too strict to work with#strict or a control freak idk#she just wanted to make boss like her just like in her childhood doodles#anyway
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the fact that irving/tozer even exists as a ship is so funny to me. they don't even share a scene. not one dang screenshot of them together. all we have is 'careful with that; it belongs to lieutenant irving' and tozer looking genuinely distressed when he realises that hickey did actually shank irving. and that's enough for us to run with. is there anything else? no. does it matter? nah. love is stored in the borrowed telescope.
#the terror#john irving#solomon tozer#at a time when fandom has way too many people laying down strict rules for what ships do and don't work#i love that some people in the terror fandom just took that ONE LINE and said 'yeah i'll have fun with that'#even if you don't ship it you've gotta respect the sentiment behind it
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hey kid you want some fuckin uuuuuuuhDoodles x5
#princess tutu#duck#rue#fanart#my art#realized i have a file of just several layers of mostly just me trying to draw duck and rue in like#i guess a more simplistic style thats still distinct from the show itself#tbh i feel like ill need to spend some time like#studying more streamlined artstyles#in order to figure out how to make it all work#what comes naturally to me is a bit more...#idk#it just takes me conscious effort to keep thing the way they are in the sketches like the ones in the fourth and fifth pic#the thing is like#keeping something 1.simple 2.solid yet not stiff 3. lively feeling#is so fucking tricky#get too loosey goosey and you veer wayyyyy off model#get too strict with it though? looses all livelyness#idk idk i just have trouble with it
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atsushi could be like "wow red really suits you" and akutagawa would have to fight the urge to go buy all red clothes
#this works the other way too atsushi just has strict budgets for everything#atsushi nakajima#bungou stray dogs atsushi#bungo stray dogs#bungou stray dogs#sskk#shin soukoku#bsd atsushi#bsd#akuatsu#akutagawa ryuunosuke#atsushi x akutagawa#akutagawa x atsushi#nakajima atsushi
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"are people not into that?" i ask, after posting my weird niche shit to the internet, despite knowing it to be weird niche shit.
#jsyk sylkius or anything adjacent to it does not “Do Numbers” in any way and i observed this some time ago#i assume that's the “rival ships” element at work but who knows really#that sort of thing is like femslash in that everyone approves of it but nobody actually reads or writes it#but who would have thought sylvie beating loki with a stick would not bring in droves of readers???! shocking twist there!#& i don't consider sifki a rarepair but my rarepair standards are VERY strict like if there's >5 fics a pairing is basically mainstream#chasing popularity would annoy me though & i just don't have the mental spoons to try writing stuff i wouldn't personally read#yeah i *could* put my blorbos to work in a coffee shop but what cost to my own enjoyment levels? AT WHAT COST FANGELA???#you can't please everyone so you may as well just please yourself and if anyone else likes it you've found some fellow freaks so yay#i don't mean please yourself in a wanking sense. though feel free to do that too it probably counts as a cardio workout idk.#BUT ANYWAY#fic related#ps i am v glad there's the “warning: loki” tag because i think/hope it acts as a filter for 'he did nothing wrong in his life ever' types#who are Valid & etc obviously but i write my morally grey characters to be morally grey and the tag might help avoid conflict#though tbh i write almost every character to be morally grey in some way so i can't claim to have left my comfort zone here#(i'm not joking when i say the 1987-89 run of Dr Who shaped my entire future fannish life from a young and apparently v impressionable age)
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Oh the temptation to write a Resistance fic where Kudo learns to take care of a baby during terrible times
#bruce knows the most about developmental needs and has to teach kudo#whos strict but softhearted and wants to die whenever a baby cries that they hate him#basically kudo fumbling his way through parenthood bc hes too kind to just abandon babies in this dark era#and yoichi went and nicknamed the baby immediately despite kudo saying not to name it to avoid attachment#kudo to bruce: dont name it. itll be a burden if we do#yoichi in the background: oh Baby-chan how can you be so cute?#can u tell what ive been working on recently#bnha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#mha#bruce#kudo#yoichi shigaraki#fic#oc#writing#yoichi just picks up a baby and of course it has to be a Meta baby#two sides of the same coin#one end is Kudo being concerned over Hasta la Vista baby and showing it in the worst ways#one end is Kudo learning how to really deal with babies cuz of baby-chan#he still talks to babies like theyre dogs though#kudo's learning curve for something he never thought hed end up doing. babies were very much not a part of his short life plan#its funnnnn
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i forgot grunt meant like henchman or whatever for a second i thought they were like yeah leonas bitch ass grunts and growls are partial proof to savanaclaw being an athletic leaning dorm lol
#well they also say that in the game not just the manga jkdlfhsdkl like in azuls union bday card#ace was like oh yeah ok you dont wanna be in savanaclaw cause theyre more athletic oriented right#and azul was like NO IM TALKING ABOUT THE SUN SHUT UP!!! jsdklfhsdklfj#anyway i was on the wiki cuz i was trying to remember what their dorm's trait thing is like according to the mirror but i DONT SEE IT.#i rememeber i get it confused with pomesiores . like i think one of theirs is tenacity . but idr which one LOL#the other is maybe endurance...????#that doesnt sound right. i feel like it was broader than that#WAIT I LIED IT DOES SAY IT AT THE TOP i just. missed that part. it IS tenacity lol#what the fuck was pomefiore then....#oh ya theirs according to the wiki is UNRELENTING EFFORTS which i think i did see sometimes written as like endurance or fortitude or smthn#anyway. savanaclaw and pomefiore's ~core value~ always felt similar to me. but also maybe i just dont know what words mean <3#not in a 'theyre too similar' way like i do think theyre different. i just think it's INCH RESTING when things r like#theyre similar. theres overlap. but theres enough distinction to put them apart#actually them being similar in some regards does feel reinforced by the rook hunt situation like he went from one to the other#and seems to be thriving regardless.... we're onto something here...#hmm what were the others.. i think heartslabyul was strictness...#ok the wiki says severity i think ive seen either eng or a translation that called it strictness lol but severity i feel like is maybe#better word choice.. just a lil... nuances nuances whatever anyway idr the others. actually wait no i know octavinelles is like#benevolence bc azul keeps mentioning it- the wiki says compassion. lol. idk if i just keep remembering close enough or like#remembering fan vs official tls. i think the wiki is doing its own direct tl and not engtwst but moving ON#scarabia is deliberation... ignihyde is diligence... diasomnia is elegance???#why is diasomnia the only one that didnt sound familiar At All LOL i dont REMEMBER THAT ONE#i remembered vaguely what scarabia was bc they make a point of mentioning it in like end of 4 or start of 5?#when they were like yeah we value foresight or w/e in scarabia so jamil hasnt been ousted right away. i like scarabia their#way of showing the different ways deliberation works with like jamil vs how it does in kaliim vs the npcs#like theyre all different ppl but still fit that criteria in their own unique ways.... hell yeah...#anyway yay i got ONE right on the nose [as the wiki has it listed anyway lol] thanks savanaclaw
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kind of weird how attatched I am to the immigrant mentality considering im not an immigrant
#like I am the daughter of immigrants but I am NOT an immigrant myself & I need to get that thru my head. this is getting ridiculous#like someone told me once that I spoke arabic like I'm “من بنات السعدية ” and I have not let it go since#bc I have a very strong possessiveness over my specific Otherness. but also it's so so stupid because I am a 2nd gen kid thru & thru#like it's getting old. I'm a normal teem girl with strict parents this isn't about the immigration anymore#& on the other hand it's like ok. but I do understand why I thoguth that. my family line from my grandparents & parents is very rootless#but the thing is I AM NOT. I AM VERY MUCH ROOTED IN THE USA#ehat I need to do is get tf out of here & visit eritrea & saudi & then tour the world so I'm not this tied down to this shitass country#because I genuinely hate it so so bad here. but then I remember that out of all of our options this one is the best#and it makes me all types of mad.#this also sort of goes along with the fact that you can't make good money unless ur a bit of a shit bag#like there's no good way to do it. you have to suck up to assholes and you have to overcharge and you have to build this empire off others#and it's annoying because the2nd cousin I was talking about in the notes the other day probably did just that.#like I think he's a silicon valley tech bro bc it had to do with the investments hs made. and he got the opportunity it of a lifetime#but at what cost. like I don't want that for myself. and it's easier to avoid that if you just pack up your bags and leave#but it's so maddening that I need to be an asshole to get places in life. the dream I have of some idyllic life away from all the bs is gon#& I think there are certain careers you take where you can get away with minimal bastardness and still get good money#but they're so far & few that it seems like a lot of work for not that good pay at the end of the day.#not to mention these jobs just aren't it anymore. like I'm thinking doctor lawyer professor etc#but all of these things can still end up extorting you. and it's just so so so aggrivating how much shit is shitty#and it all cowms down to the fact that when you immigratr to a new land you build up from the bottom.it feels like a lot of progress then#I don't want to waste thr opportunities my parents gave me by coming here. but I also don't want to be here.#because I'm starting to believe that fleeing something is the best motivation ever.#like there's a reason it's usually africans “escaping” the ghetto life and not african americans#and I live in a small town suburb ideal with white friends & a flawless accent & 3 younger siblings that can't even speak arabic#it's so fucking insane that I genuinely believe I have a claim over being an immigrant. I don't. I want to but I don't#cause another thing ab immigrants having more motivations os that they have more reasons#get the family out. social pressure to retire & take care of your parents. etc etc#& I have a close knit society here but it's not that#man ifk where I'm going with this I just believe myself too much sometimes#nadia rants
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Anyone else have near-perfect executive function at work; but at home, have literally no energy or motivation to do anything except lie in a dark room, with something in or on your ears for several hours?
#It’s got to be the schedule keeping me on task at work#I love microdosing strict routines (not having an actual routine for the day; but having routines for small tasks#which piss me off if I can’t carry them out precisely the way I planned)#For instance: If I’m asked to paperclip a bunch of stuff together with multicolored paperclips of various sizes#I cannot just indiscriminately pick paperclips from the container because that is WRONG and ILLEGAL#The colors must fit the theme of the assignments; and the colors must alternate in a specific order#and the paperclips must all be the same size#If I’m asked to dump out and clean containers of writing utensils I am going to sort them by type and color#whether you like it or not#Black permanent markers have their own container in a different section from the blue permanent markers#Dry-erase markers are not to be mixed with permanent markers because they are easily confused and it is WRONG and ILLEGAL#Do not fuck with the system. It’s the only organizational skill I have and by fucking GOD I’m going to use it in EXCESS#I stuff and fill out envelopes the exact same way every time because if I do it any other way it is WRONG and ILLEGAL#The stamp always goes on last to minimize monetary waste if there is a mistake#Now you’d think my room is squeaky clean and organized because of how particular I am about these small tasks#Right? Right?#NO IT IS NOT. It looks like a bomb went off. Cleaning the room is a big task which cannot be accomplished within two hours#therefore I have discarded it as anything I need a routine for because it would take too long to come up with#and it is very hard for me to do things like that without instructions or a sense of consistency#So I simply don’t#“After five years the dust doesn’t get any worse” correct; but the mold certainly does#I am convinced half my problems with organization as a kid would have been solved if I just had a hamper#“We have a clothes chute; you don’t need a hamper” Maybe you don’t but I DO#I want one now; but I’m going to use it as incentive to get an apartment#because that’s another thing I need to smuggle and I have too much already
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i legit love when a character's gender is so integral to their personality (and perception obviously.) like so concrete that if genderbent their whole shtick would just be absolute dookie. anyways i'm just writing this text so i can talk in the tags (My beautiful safe haven)
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this 14 minute song is soooooooooooo FYRE
#text#actually i'm thinkinbg about this only cus i'm drawing female neloff and i'm just like#Elder dookies fans already hate females..... imagine them tryign to handle a woman with NPD that is reaching toxic waste levels#old decaying female with NPD.#but i'm also drawing female neloff for fun cus i have an idea for a look; i don't think it's a good idea#and he is just one of those characters that feel very good in the strict cismale box.#i also feel silly talking about gender-anything in any fiction because that's a topic only Am*ricans with no real problems sweat about#if that makes sense#just not something that interests me in the slightest#actually this might jsut be fascinating 2me because it is interesting indeed to see the different ways narcissism is treated. in characters#if i keep saying females instead of women it's bc i legit love that word. Sorry#and el*nwen+ulfr*c too are those female+male respectively perfectly fitting characters too#but notice how i didn't say cis. exactly. i'm thinking about the person that said elly did his top surgery in the torture basement. 4 free#or maybe i said that and they jsut said they're both t4t. Mmmaybe#the absolute W we copped with elly being the ' ' Big Bad ' ' th*lmor as a woman who is just obsessed with the luxuries of life.#stereotypical high society woman#she's so cute#i might just be obsessed with exploring very traditional dynamics too. i love keeping it grounded yk#Me after reading too many geriatric centuries old novels and huffing copium on sk*rim#i think i legit hate having fun with wilder character personality-morphism (because it is useless) that's not working with what u have#i'm just saying things that will make sense only 2 me now. Bye#why did i develop interest-related nihilism that extends to me hating fantasy franchises and anything that isn't non-fiction#i love it tho makes me feel so sophisticated#this is what happens when nobody humbles you while you draw regurgitated glorified studentXteacher (with a medieval twist) for a year.#i'm so excited for the year to be over not bc it's bad for me but bc i wanna see what all of the n*lvas art i drew looks like together#i wanna compile it like i did with eltl in 2023#n*lvas been treating me so well though liek i've been at such an artistic Peak especially after may#i'm always at my artistic peak tho.#i have a picture of n*relion on my mspaint canvas and it keeps looking at me while i'm drawing . he scares me because who gave him -#- the t*lvas hairstyle and the n*loth beard Bro.
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re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.
#HES MY PRINCESS IDEK.#i dont think it happens naturally all that much because theyre usually in the business of calling each other names and being mean#so i think this would just be a random night where theyre on top and just think it would be really funny. to yank on his leash and call him#a good girl after bullying him into doing something. and well i just think it would get him is all i dont knowwwwwwwwwwwwww#i havr a lot of thoughts on the matter but i will stop for now#but the tldr is that with each other they tend to switch frequently and are always fighting#so i think itd take someone else being in the picture for hog to even realize how much he likes being a good boy :3#and i also dont think fish would be good at straightforward domming in the way he would want and they both know that#so its something he keeps between him and rat mostly. please dont ask me questions abt jrs sex life i have too many opinions on it#anyways. i think even tho fish knows theyd be bad at that they still feel left out so sometimes they go watch. they dont get anything out of#doing that theyre just sort of taking mental notes#all of this circles back to i think fish has always been the more sexually experienced of the two. and romantically.#i dont rlly think hog is a guy who dates i dont think hes ever been that and i dont think he made much time for hookups#(i think its cute if hes a virgin when they meet but 🤷 im not solid on it)#but i think for him hes just only ever fucked this one person and they do a LOT of stuff and it gets the job done so hes just never really#tried anything else. but. and again i have too many opinions on this but i think rat wouldnt be into their usual shteeze#i think hes a bit of a freak in his own way but the blood and weird anger issues is just not doing it for him most of the time#but i do think if given the opportunity he would LOVE to be The Boss for a little bit so i think he and hog can explore that together and it#will work out beautifully for them. this is great because i am not into strict d/s dynamics like that but i know in my heart that hoggy#would be. and i cant do that for him#again i think fish would be butthurt about this. mostly in a 'why didnt u tell me so we could try this :(' and he would go#'because you would suck at it and wouldnt like it' and they go oh. right. well im still mad#ANYWAYS. circling back. i think the good girl thing would be something fish knows that rat doesnt. and idk if theyd tell him or not#because i do think if they tell him he is using that for evil hog is going to be a good girl forever and ever. rat doesnt have the patience#to space it out the way fish does. which idk maybe thatd be good for hog he could work through some stuff...#but on the other hand i think its fun if they DONT tell him and just bust it out sometime when all 3 of them are doing the deed. or whatever#because again they mostly like how embarrassed he gets about it and i think he would be reallyyyy flustered by it#^ this is essentially part of my fantasy about spitroasting my beautiful wife until he cries just so everyone knows#idk i just think when he lets go of himself hed be a very cute and kind of needy subby bottom and i think hed be really easy to fluster#about it and i want it so bad
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#interview with the vampire#i just found and watched a video on youtube that is a lestat hate and rant about his fans and it was so SO cathartic#i dont even agree with everything said and was naturally at first skeptic of a youtuber's opinion#but finally FINALLY there is a louder voice of someone who can see things about this show from another point of view#even if it's a pov that's more strict than the one i use to analyze media myself#i thought i was going crazy when seeing the fan opinions surrounding this show. mostly out there but sometimes here too#like yeah with how popular loustat is i knew there would be plenty of bias for the angle that flatters it#but the things ive seen lestat & loustat fans say.... the longing for eye bleach was real#but finally someone is there to underline that hey. that very present very intentional racial and power dynamics are in fact very real.#do in fact influence the characters accordingly. and does not come out of thin air or just 'the circumstances'#it's valid to explore the other side of the coin in louis' character of course. but it doesnt mean that it's not there#mind you. all of that shit louis described? is while insisting he was not 'an abused person'#and its so satisfying to see how someone can pass all the bullshit and have the serenity of heart to recognize that#regardless of everything else. there is a reason why louis felt like lestat was a predator and he was being preyed on#that is because he largely was. lestat *was* a vampire on the hunt. an emotional vampire to boost along with the more literal sense#he might disagree to be doing that on a conscious level and he might have clear reasons to have the instincts he does. he still did that#thank you for also calling bullshit on the reunion scene dialogue and parts of the trial in how it was trying to frame certain things#its the main reason why s2 didnt fully work for me. like jesus christ.#that man literally was part of a ploy to murder their daughter. BE SERIOUS. and im supposed to be mad about armand's involvement??#i also felt so seen when he talked about how dickmatized penis delirious to the point of frustration louis is#there is so much to be grateful for. in highlighting the weight of lestat's involvement vs armand's#in talking about louis' family's side of things. expressing how people for some reason love to call armand a mastermind lying manipulator#when the first culprit of that is the blonde bitch??#honestly the irritation i feel towards many of the fans of this show and the major opinions was such#that i was feeling bad just be seeing iwtv content around and i dont wanna feel like that. i like the show so much.#this was soul clearing in a way. even if. again. i dont fully agree with everything#love how its so clear how so many people try to invoke the books when trying to dissuade him from thinking ill of lestat#because thats exactly my experience too LMAO. talk about a weak limpdick argument#and people who try to invoke unreliable narrator are not much better#and the whole story is made up from the writer's head and nothing matters! see i can do this too
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I know most people like Tuvok as a Vulcan Everyman but we have considered the alternatives??
#Tuvok#idk what this is#like how to tag it#st voyager#He is NOT unloved......in fact he gives me strict parents who simultaneously kind of spoiled him vibes#canonically an only child as well ?? absolutely#forever thinking of Tuvok's dad disowning him - his dad specifically not 'my parents'#I wonder if Tuvok (emotional at the time since he willfully wasn't practicing logic) cried for him#st voy#Tuvok: (age five) Can I play outside father?#Tuvok's Dad: (typing up his marriage profile) No. You're low on extracurriculars. I'm sending you to the temple.#Tuvok STAYS at that gd temple man HEHEHEH#age five age fifteen age 35 he is AT that temple#OH I don't think Tuvok is rich - certainly noooowhere near Spock's level (Spock is 'a legend')#he is the Average Vulcan in that he's the most strictly Vulcany Vulcan of the main 3 we know <3#and in that way he IS the everyman~! or the closest to it#also I love T'Pel so much in such an earnest way disproportionate to her presence in the narrative#BUT she is also like HEHEHE she's the ONE thing keeping Tuvok as a character from being so clearly gay to me she's putting in the WORK#He loves her SO much <3 and I do TOO
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Service sub whose services include but are not limited to: Killing in cold blood at your command
#hi alfonse. hi lif.#with or without your command really. that's other other really funny thing about putting alfonse into this dynamic#sometimes he just does whatever he deems fit.#neurotic herding dog behavior. strict moral code but sometimes you can't really tell what it is.#or You Can. if you have shrimp color visions#the root of it all is sharena. remember this.#also gustav did a number on him too#guy w daddy issues and a sister complex that work in opposite ways. am i allowed to say that#doesn't matter. gunshots
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#these are just some thoughts re: friendship as a result of tonight that i need to jot down somewhere but#realising that i really do have a strict and set idea of Good Friend(ship) and what that entails to me#and id written people off bc i wasn't yk ~receiving love or friendship the way id prefer and i was angry with them for that/hurt about it#did i communicate that to them though? nooo. was i fully right in that? also no. like just bc i felt unheard didn't fully mean#that they were doing something wrong. they were trying in their own way (and sometimes they weren't really or it just wasn't nice)#but that's about how we match and how we communicate right? this is so silly that's so basic but it never fully clicked for me like this#i was blaming them for stuff and building up resentment without ever expressing that (and i still haven't yk dhshsjd)#and i think where i went ~wrong was in thinking that bc i felt that way they weren't ~giving me what i need#when it's like... but did i pick up on the ways in which they DID appreciate me and show me love etc? did i give them ANYTHING to work with?#(ok yes occasionally but also... tangent but i was watching a variety show and they were teasing woozi about how#he gives interviewers/hosts literally nothing to work with. like no extra information for them to ask about or tease him for or anything#and i was like ohhhhhh. yeah i do do that sometimes with friends and it's genuinely smth i don't really know how to do like#giving casual information (but not too much and not too little???) so they can then ask questions etc. so then if im like ughh#they never ask (the right) questions or show interest (or let me talk but that's a different thing dhsjdjd) it's like...#well do i give them the chance to? much to think about thank you woozi)#anyways where was i dhsjsnsnsjns idk but it's soooo annoying that i haven't figured this all out yet#but im slowly letting go off a bunch of resentment that has truly no business being here and im trying to self reflect and all that#and im honestly doing so shit some days but others days it's? finding stuff that matters to me on a deeper level ig?#and all of it really does pale in the face of multiple genocides and it's. but yk. if i want to keep fighting#i need to build a strong foundation and sort my shit out as well and be present so im really really trying#and beating my stupid stupid depression and brain with a stick until i get there
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