#but when I want to make an investment in something I think would be beneficial to my life she’s like “do you think I’m made of money??”

[plotwholls]

Me, every time I feel out of control: haha wanna see how long I can not sleep?

[aagneauu]

High value habits to elevate yourself 🥂✨

When the term "high value" is mentioned, we often think of things related exclusively to economic wealth, but being a high-value person is an attitude, an attribute founded on habits and a wealthy mentality. So today I wanted to mention a few habits that I personally perceive as something a person with strong standards apply on their lives. ✨

Sorry if there's any grammar mistakes, English isn't my first language :b

1. Long-term mentality ✦

Enjoying yourself is very important, but when we only think about the things that give us temporary pleasure, is often very likely that we forget to take care about our future stability. For example, if you want to travel, the smart thing to do would be to save the money in order to be able to afford it, but how many times we just feel the urge to waste money on unnecessary stuff just to get that brief satisfaction, that bad habit will take us far from our goals. This rule can be applied on almost every aspect, and if you're able to stick to your goals and take decisions according to them, trust me, you'll get very far.

2. Invest ✦

Stop wasting and start investing; your money, your time and your energy. In terms of money, you obviously can spend some of it on pretty stuff, but instead of wasting your whole salary on things you want, a smarter move would be to use part of that money to invest it on something that potentially can give us another income, maybe there's a valuable peace of jewelry or clothing that not only we could use, but to sell and trade in the future, or even if you have enough money saved, you can invest in a property, to not only live in it, but to rent it. Our time and energy works in the same way, we could be wasting our time and energy with people that don't give us nothing we can learn from, and you're worth way more than that. Find people and habits that not only make you feel good and appreciated, but that will leave you something interesting for your personal growth, and remember, better alone than in a bad company.

3. Details matter ✦

How we talk, how we decide to present ourselves to the world, our values, the effort we put on what we make. Every little detail says something about us. For example, something as simple as spraying perfume before we go out makes a difference, or if you study, the amount of time and effort you decide to put on certain classes. Socially, what you decide to say, and to develop the hability to stay quiet when necessary. Maybe you think that those little things don't make a huge difference at the long-term, but when you see how your life can change drastically with every little step you take, you learn to pay attention to it.

4. Patience ✦

It is a strong word, it is even harder to apply to our lives sometimes. Being patient not only with people, but with our circumstances. Sometimes things that we don't like happens, and we don't even understand why because we thought that we did everything right, but everything happens for a reason, it's like a fruit, you could take it out of the tree earlier because you're hungry, but it isn't that mature and tasty, but if you just wait, resist the hunger, the fruit will be way better. That applies to money, emotional growth and life changes. Learn to understand that sometimes, pain will be the sign to something better than your current situation.

5. Stop following the crowd ✦

Set standards and learn what is good for you, if you just rely on others to decide what is best for you, or even worse; you know something is bad for you and still do it for others, then expect low quality experiences. People time to time will call you boring or even extreme just because you decide to be loyal to your values. If something that everyone is doing seems beneficial, do it, but because it gives you something valuable, not because of the crowd. You can apply this rule to everything; friends, money, and other experiences. The amount ot peace and comfort that you can get with this transformation is a huge life upgrade.

This were some topics that come to mind when the "high value" term is mentioned. And remember, no one is perfect and every little thing makes us unique. Life is a long journey that you can decide to upgrade with every little move.

Hope u enjoyed! ♡

[pinksobg]

How to atract better the lover|love you so deserve

already in a relationship and single reading

for reflection only. hope it resonates and you enjoy. hope you all are doing very well :)

pile one - singles -

dolphin - 20 - true.

When meeting someone new, preferably tell the truth from the beginning and don't settle for anything less than respect for the person you are from the beginning. The advice is to be spontaneously you, the carefree energy, being true to your personalities and tastes. "I like this, I like that, I don't like this".

hermit - get to know yourself, and you can even reinvent yourself or, better yet, another skill or quality of yours, valuing your individuality.

the moon reverse - the tip is to also think about the practical, logical and tangible world and not just (and only) feelings. a balance between reason and emotion is advisable.

6 of Wands reversed - if necessary, correct your postures that harmed you in the past.

-----

in a relationship -

v

27 - fox - think quickly

30 - grasshopper - take a leap of faith

The advice from the cards here are basically to invest in your relationship. analyzing the responses you give to your partner on a daily basis or when you meet. If you tend to respond impulsively to a text message, for example, when you're angry, try taking a step back: take a break to do something else and then analyze the situation again: "Should I really talk like that?" "Now, do I understand myself and my partner better?"

about the grasshopper. Both, seek to strengthen trust in the relationship. whether with open conversations or questions, like, "what do you think we can improve in our relationship?"

I wish the best for you! If necessary, seek professional help. trust yourself. 

-------------------------------------------------

pile 2 - singles -

39 - moth - surrender.

connect with your spirituality.

38 - lizard - make your dream come true.

The advice is to go after a dream, especially if it's a good old dream that you still want to fulfill. It can also be going to a place, doing a hobby that you've always dreamed of, when and if possible.

what great messages!

hierophant - if you want, try to avoid listening to the unnecessary judgments and prejudices of others. live well according to your values, value them, if you want, value and/or invest in your lifestyle.

king of wands - take action when necessary and do the things you are passionate about, or add passion/love/appreciation towards your actions.

7 of Wands - stay true to yourself, protect yourself with healthy boundaries.

-- in a relationship -

oh, yes!

31 - groundhog - time to forget

reverse judgement, page of hearts, the fool, 7 of hearts, 4 of hearts.

well then! the message is apparently advice to learn to forgive your partner if necessary and if you want to<. especially if there are past hurts. learn to forgive and be forgiven. either with a frank conversation and/or inner meditation on the events.

It is advisable here to connect with new people: friends, family. even beloved animals. Receiving loving energy from other people or areas of your life can be beneficial to your healing process.

explore more, have a snack with a friend, visit family, pet a beloved animal, whatever you want. take yourself for going out.

If you like the idea, talk to your partner about it, about forgiveness and each other being able to have a good moment of individuality if this is your case (or one of these is your case).

I wish all the best! Seek professional help if necessary. take good care of yourself.

----------------------------------------

pile 3 - singles -

oh! sharpen mind! good!

38 - lizard - make your dream come true

Ask yourself what your ideal life, your ideal relationship, would be like. How can you contribute to your good dreams right now?

12 - canary - sing your own song

invest in self-love and listening to yourself

queen of spades - again, assertiveness and honesty in your reading. Don't accept less than you deserve and speak for yourself when you want/necessary

10 of swords - if you want, heal yourself from past pains; as with good physical and mental rest

hope you be a lot of happy!

-----

in a relationship -

31 - groundhog - time to forget

24 - eel - bring your ideas to life

the advice in the cards is to learn to also listen to your voice in the relationship, also value yourself, your ideas. You are also a person who deserves to be heard and valued. Another piece of advice from the cards is to learn to forgive and be forgiven. These achievements, improving the relationship, if you wish, can be done with a little more self-love, investigation of your own feelings, desires, needs and ideas. Don't feel alone and seek help if necessary and desired. open and calm communication, preferably, about these important issues such as forgiveness, emotional responsibility, etc., can help your relationship if that is the need. remember that you are important and valid.

If necessary, seek professional help and be very happy, giving yourself more peace and a voice.

[ancientgreekyuri]

Today marks three years of Dianthus existing! I made my first concept sketches for her on 11/20/23 💖 this also means it's been three years of Diathesterius! I sometimes use the date I uploaded Dia to toyhouse, the 21st, as the anniversary date just in case I'm late... but I managed to finish colouring this <3 I had actually wanted to do something for this earlier in the month, I even made some very elaborate plans for it... but it ended up not happening! Which is okay 💞 but I still wanted to draw a little wedding piece... so I did! I'll make something fancier when I have more time later on... 💝 I used my own handwriting here for authenticity, but at some point... I'd like to be able to rewrite in Greek for More authenticity <3 Uncropped version (and long rambling post) under the cut 💕 I get a little Vulnerable so don't read it if you're gonna be mean or else I'll like Get You or something

I've made posts in the past talking about why Theseus and Asterius mean so much to me, but I don't think I've made one on why Dianthus herself means so much to me.. so for her own third year anniversary, I'll do that here! before I begin...! the fruit in dia's hair here are from the strawberry tree, arbutus unedo. I associate the tree and its fruit with Theseus but... it's honestly been so long, I don't remember exactly why! Just that, for some reason, I imagine thathis childhood home had a tree of these fruit blossoming just outside his mother's room, and thus he has fond memories of it. Lady Dianthus... she who loves all things pink, actively hates celery, and still has a job at the library despite being so fogetful and clumsy... she who met Theseus and immediately became obsessed because it was the first interesting thing to happen to her- not a parent or someone she's close to, but herself! her first time feeling as if she had a true purpose. She who didn't understand Theseus' obsession with Asterius until meeting he Minotaur, and promptly decided "he's not scary? he's not scary at all! he's just a cow!" I've made sona and the likes before Dia of course, but she was the first in a long time who was truly meant to resemble me in all ways (except for the setting, of course...). I made her design simple so I would easily be able to redraw her, and gave her one of my favourite palettes pink and green and cream and gold. At first I really didn't expect to get that attached to her... I went months without drawing her after her initial creation. but the more I drew her the more I realized how much fun I was having with her...! It's funny looking back on it... originally I had a much more comedic idea for her story, and di not intend to ship her with Theseus in any serious way. It was going to be a completely one-sided love (with Dianthus taking the role of "crazed fangirl" - which she still is, in a way). I'm sure it isn't a surprise but it didn't take me long at all to start drawing ship art of them, creating artworks and writing of Theseus and Asterius was a self indulgent joy for me, so why not selfship art too? I ended up invested, of course. Using Dia I put a lot of my own feelings into a story; a sense of otherness, her loneliness, feeling lost and out of place. I had removed it later on because I felt uneasy with how vulnerable it was, but at one put I had placed one of the most traumatic events of my life into Dia's story- sometimes I think about adding it back, because I know giving her an oppurtunity to open up about it with her beloveds would be something beneficial to Me irl(!). But that's besides the point here... she's a stubborn girl, sweet but arrogant is my usual go-to descriptor for her; that's how I think of myself too, just based on what I've been told (I have a hard time thinking of myself as nice, though others always say so to me...). That may be part of why I tend to look for those features in (fictional!) lovers... something feels good to me about being able to butt heads due to this shared traits, but still coming together and making amends despite it. I do think it's a little funny that the sonas I've gotten the most attached to so far- Dianthus, and now Nerine- have some sort of theme of death with them. Dianthus is literally a ghost, and Nerine is metaphorically one (and maybe liteally, if I ever make up my mind...). Maybe that's just fitting for me, though... hmm... I'm not sure what else I want to say here... I think of Dianthus as "Me but in Hades Game / Ancient Greek context." Of course some events that happen in her life didn't happen to me, or, sometimes, I dramatize it (Dia's mother leaving her and her father to become the wife of a god was inspired by the fact that for the first few yers of my life, my parents were separated... but they always had a positive relationship with one another! Unlike Dia's parents), but she's become a big par

t of me all the same. Just as I am happy and hoping to spend many more years with Theseus and Asterius, I hope to spend many more years with her as well. i think that's all I'll write for now <3 if you read this thank you for being curious enough about me to be interested in all this 😭

btw, here's the first ever post of her... (yes thats my priv </3 i briefly unlocked it to search for this... don't try and follow me over there though it's crazy over there)

[transdruid]

How to Get Better at Tarot (and other divination)

If you often find yourself stumped with a reading, or you're just getting started and are totally lost, this post is for you! I'm using tarot as a base, but this guide will help you learn how to improve your reading skills of any divination. I'm basing the points in what I've struggled with in the past, as well as stumbling blocks I often see other people get stuck on.

Step One: Practice. You hate this advice, I know, but it is the only way to actually get better. You have to fuck up. You have to try again, that's just how the world works. Sorry. Getting good at anything, but especially something as amorphous as divination, takes years. I have been practicing tarot for nearly five years, for less than half that time have I felt the click of confidence. Tarot is an investment!

Okay. You get it. You have to practice, but how do you practice? What can you do to make your practice more beneficial? How do you get the most learning you can out of every reading? Let's dig in!

Use Smaller Spreads

Simplification is your friend. If you draw too many cards, it muddies the water. Think of your reading as a bowl of water, and each card you draw as a drop of color. If you add one drop of red, and one drop of blue, the answer comes through as a clear purple. But if you start adding more and more drops of every color you can think of, the colors get all mushy and gross. If you frequently find yourself drawing more than four or five cards for a spread, chill! Your don't need that many, I pinky promise. As you gain confidence, you can add more cards. The goal here is to get clear answers, and pulling twelve cards is not going to get you there. I recommend sticking to one, two, or three card readings. Remember that tarot decks typically have 78 cards; when you get up to ten or more cards, you're pulling a significant portion of the entire deck. No wonder it doesn't make sense!

Ask Better Questions

There are good questions to ask your cards, and less good ones. For a start, tarot is not good at yes/no questions. If you are expecting a yes/no answer, turn to something like a pendulum or a coin toss.

Okay so that one is a bit obvious. Let's dig a bit deeper. When you pull out your cards, take the time to sit and think about why. What do you want out of this reading? Think about what cards are in the deck; do any of them actually work to answer the question you have? For example, if you're doing a deity confirmation, simply asking "who are you?" and drawing a card isn't going to work very well. There isn't a card in there with "Dionysus" written across it, and there are infinite possible answers. Instead, think about what could point you in the direction you need. "What's your vibe?" works a bit better. Then we could get a card such as The Devil, to stand for the indulgence and physical delights of wine. If this were the first question (who are you?), your first instinct would be 'ohmygoditsthedevilhimself! This spirit must be evil!' Instead, you know that the vibe is about something maybe a bit mischievous (taboo, even), or someone that was cast as the devil somewhere in history. Combine that with something like the Three of Cups and it's practically a neon sign saying "Hey! My vibe is about having a good time! Let's drink and party!" which leads right to my homie Dionysus.

Question phrasing is important. When you go into google and type in "Tarot Spreads" you get a lot of junk that tries WAY too hard to sound super smart and spiritual. "What part of myself do I hide from observation out of fear and/or shame?" Can be boiled down to "What am I ashamed of?" When I started tarot, I got most of my spreads by googling "tarot spread for ---". This works, but I often found myself pulling the cards, looking at the questions, and realizing I didn't actually know what the question was asking. If you find yourself in the position, try boiling down the question to it's essential parts.

Align Your Expectations with Reality

This ties into the above step, but I feel it deserves its own section. Tarot and divination are a tool we use to gain understanding of ourselves and those around us. Tarot is good for this! Play to this strength. Tarot can be used for practically any question, but there are some things that work better than others. Start with the things tarot is best at, then branch out to the more challenging questions! Think about what the cards themselves are able to say.

You should also be careful to consider if you should even be asking this question with divination. I have strict rules in place for what types of readings I accept. I do not use my cards to read the future. The future is ever changing, with infinite possibilities. I prefer to just let it happen. I do not do readings about school or tests (you're at school to learn! Not be told!). I do not do readings about medical problems. Those should be asked of a doctor. Morally, mixing the spiritual with physical health is not acceptable. When you turn to divination, ask yourself if divination is really the best way to get what you need.

Do Not Doubt Your Card Draws

Okay. So you've now thought about what you want from the reading, you've picked your questions, and now, finally, it's time to pull some damn cards. You shuffle, you draw, you flip, and --- wait a second, that can't be right?! Why did I get that card for this question?! I must have shuffled wrong, or picked the wrong cards!

Nope! You didn't! (Trust!)

Look at the cards. Observe them. Open your guidebook (I swear to god you need to actually use your fucking guidebook do not try to go without it oh my god--) and read the entire entry for every card. Sit with them some more. What jumped out at you in the descriptions? Trust your instincts! Meditate on them. If you don't get it, don't fall into the trap of drawing additional clarification cards. Remember the first tip? More cards equal a muddier reading.

Fine, you say, but what if the cards are really weird? What if they make less than no sense actually for real? Write that shit down in your journal, and wait until it makes sense. I'm serious about this. Sometimes readings only make sense months down the line, and sometimes it's above your current skill level. Interpret it to the best of your ability, and check back in six months later. If you're super impatient, try reaching out to someone who's ability you trust and ask their opinion! Just don't be offended if they say no. Interpretation is a lot of work!

If you (like I used to) continuously struggle with doubt about how/where/when to draw, how much to shuffle, and if you picked the right cards and maybe you should just scrap it and start over... Stop yourself. Come up with a routine and rules for the draw! Tell your deck "okay, one more shuffle, then I'm pulling!" and do that. You gave your deck the notice it needs to get its shit together, trust it!

Do Not Take the Cards Literally

You've heard this one. Everyone says it. But what does it mean? How do you not take the cards literally?

Let's start with the example everyone knows.

XIII. Death

Whoa! You say, scary! Well, not really. Death indicates the ending of something, but not necessarily a life. Perhaps you're graduating school, and saying goodbye to that part of your life. Perhaps you're ready to move on from an outdated way of thinking. It depends on the context! Death is about cycles, about closing one door so you can open the next. This is really where the practice is going to set in.

Let's take a look at another one that tends to really ruffle peoples' feathers.

"Oh shit! It's XV. The Devil!"

Is Satan himself in the room with you right now?! Probably not. Does this mean something evil or bad is going to happen?! Is this a sign that everything is cursed?! Also no. I've seen plenty of people balk and backpedal as soon as The Devil turns up in a reading, but really they're balking at nothing. The Devil does not mean some evil spirit is trying to trick you. The Devil asks you to interrogate the taboos in your life and in the society around you. The Devil says "hey, wanna buy some Deathsticks?" Sometimes the answer is hell no, and sometimes it's "Fuck yeah Obi-wan wants to party!!!" Remember back a few sections ago, and I used The Devil as an indication of Dionysus? That's because Dionysus is the god of wine, of the party, the physical indulgences that society tells you are wrong.

Learning to Not Take The Cards Literally is hard, and takes practice. But that's why we gotta practice!

Be Not Afraid (of your guidebook)

The guidebook loves you. The guidebook wants to help you. The guidebook is there to guide you! Use it!! Too many readers place too much emphasis on doing readings without the guide, on being independent, and not using the "cheat sheet". Look into my eyes. That's bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit. Memorization is a completely different skill from interpretation. Memorizing will leave out the details, the little things you forgot (and unless you have a photographic memory, yes, you will forget things). Sometimes all I need for a reading to click is one word in the guide, something I wouldn't have thought of without reading the book. Every deck is different. That's why they give you the guide. Someone put so much effort into the design of the cards, into the meanings behind the art. When you skip the guidebook, you're ignoring all the hard work that went into it. Don't make that writers work go to waste. Don't make them sad :(

How To Make Your Interpretation Better

Okay. You're trying not to think literally, you've read the guidebook, now what? "Good" tarot readings are incredibly subjective, and everyone will have a slightly different metric. But this is my post so we're using my metric!

Good tarot readings give you more questions. Good tarot readings ask you to interrogate yourself, and look at the real and true answers. Good tarot readings make you learn about yourself and the world around you. Good tarot takes into account the symbolism of the cards and melds it with the words of the guide. So let's take a look at some symbolism.

The Ten of Sticks and the Seven of Sticks. Starting with the ten, what do we see? Some dude with some sticks. But wait -- he's holding all ten sticks by himself. His back is bent, his arms are full, and we can't see his face. The ten of sticks is about carrying burdens, about responsibility.

Now the seven. Some rando just holding a stick, right? Take a second glance. He holds the stick like a staff, a weapon, in a defensive position. He stands on a hill, and we see him fending off all the other sticks. The seven of sticks is about taking a stand for what you believe in, having the conviction to stand up on a hill and fight for it!

If you draw the ten of sticks, ask yourself if you're overburdened anywhere. Think about the responsibilities in your life, if they're enough, if they're too much. If you draw the seven, think about the things you believe in enough to climb that hill. Why do you believe those things so strongly? What drives you to the defensiveness behind your position?

Symbolism is another one of those skills that will simply come with practice and time! If you don't get it, don't beat yourself up. I highly recommend getting your hands on an app or book that breaks down both the meaning and symbolism of the cards for you to reference (Galaxy Tarot is my favorite).

Something else you can do to increase your understanding is to study readings other people do. I learned so much from watching my partner interpret readings (@knightofhylia <333). Look at the cards and the interpretation, can you follow along, or do you get lost? If you're lost, pinpoint what threw you off track and focus in. Pull the cards out of your own deck, lay them out, read the guide. Did you come to the same conclusions, or something completely different? Why? How? Which interpretation do you like more? Why do you like that one?

Divination will always be a highly personal experience. To know your cards is to know yourself. Tarot was not designed to be easy, it's an esoteric skill. By definition, the esoteric is difficult to understand and grasp to beginners and outsiders. The esoteric is supposed to leave you pondering, wondering, and asking more questions. With perseverance, you too can learn to understand the mysterious!

[the-bonfires-ember]

ok so this has a lot of facets so bear with me. standard disclaimer that this is all based on my personal experiences as a narcissistic sociopath; im not a professional and i dont speak for everyone.

anyway.

firstly, yes we do. i think prosocials/egotypicals do it too to an extent but for different reasons and in different ways.

from an aspd perspective, i get annoyed at people and it is no longer to my benefit to stick around them, ill just disappear in a classic ghosting style. frankly i never get to this point anymore because ive managed to surround myself with people i very rarely if ever find annoying. in the past, when ive befriended people and then theyve frustrated me or ive just generally found them annoying for some reason, ive either slowly extricated myself if i could keep getting stuff out of the person or just totally destroyed the relationship so that they stopped reaching out and i could stop expending energy into dodging them. in my head if someone has pissed me off, it means that its going to keep happening and theyve just finally shown me their true colours so i might as well get out now or detach myself so im not going to emotionally invested enough to get annoyed again in the future. essentially this means i stop caring about them at all. as for how fear factors in; it goes a pretty long way back into people being fundamentally untrustworthy and only beneficial in as much as i can get from them. if im putting up with more than im getting out of it, id just walk away because everyone is out for themselves and of course that applies to me too. thats the way ive been taught the world works, and if im not getting any emotional backlash for doing that, why wouldnt i? it just makes sense. im fundamentally out for myself because no one else has been there to help when i needed them in the past.

from an npd perspective, if someones annoying me its likely because i am thinking of myself as being vastly superior to them and find the annoying quirks of them to be proof of their inferiority. the fact that theyve disagreed with me or fought me on something means they dont have the degree of respect and admiration for me that they should. this usually leads to me discarding them out of frustration and ill push them away by just showing less and less interest in them, or the ways i would that i mentioned above. the fear here, as you may be able to guess, is being wrong and being weaker/worse/unworthy. for me, being right and being more esteemed than my peers was a matter of survival in my childhood, and now if someone is starting to chip into the veneer or perfection ive built and maintained they have become a threat and i have to separate before they see too much and i lose everything.

now i dont know why you - orginal messager - asked this question, or why anyone else might be looking for this informatio. i can come up with a few guesses though, so im gonna add a couple things that applies to prosocials and other things that apply to antisocials and narcissists. but ill tuck that away so you can ignore my advice if you want to and just take the analysis.

prosocials - if you have a friend with either of these personality disorders and they are beginning to withdraw theres a choice before you. firstly, you can let them. you can recognise that this person doesnt want to associate with you anymore for whatever reason and allow yourself to be at peace with that. im sure it hurts, especially after what ive said about my reasons for doing this, but if you think you are better off just letting this one go, i support that and encourage you to just slip away with a clean break.

the other option you have, if you want to try your best to keep that person with you, is to address it plain as day. its uncomfortable, yes, but try not to be confrontational. a simple 'hey, ive noticed you distancing yourself and withdrawing and i wanted to check in and find out why and whether or not we can resolve this'. perhaps its cold of me to ask this of you, im not entirely certain one way or the other. but you deserve to try and make it work if thats what you want, and the only way that happens is by addressing the problems and really, truly understanding that the behaviours we exhibit come from a place of fear and the memory of pain. they are trauma disorders. and while trauma does not excuse harmful behaviours it does no one any favours to ignore that its the root of the problem. maybe your friend will brush you off, thats true. they might not be ready to look deeper and thats their right. at which point youve done all you can and now you need to prioritise yourself. but maybe youll make your friend reevaluate, maybe they want to heal. and you can be such a huge part of that by just asking the questions and really listening to the response. its hard work, i know, but i will always be so grateful for the people who made me stop and look at myself and really see.

the third choice is you pretend its not happening and just wait to see if they get past it and come back. they might, its not implausible, but to me this feels like inviting yourself to be treated poorly again later when symptoms flare again and those fears react to something you dont understand or know about.

pwASPD and/or NPD - im not going to try and tell you that you owe it to the people around you to recover. im never saying that. recovery is your decision and it should only be for you. i chose recovery because i wanted to see what i wasnt able to before, and it has been so fucking hard. but id do it again in a heartbeat. its important to note though that i got lucky. really really fucking lucky, and id be doing you a disservice if i pretended otherwise. on that note, here is my advice for those who want to get better and those who dont:

if you dont, if you dont want to see the fear that is reacting to the perceived threat, if its still too painful to look at, just dont. let yourself be blind to it and find comfort in the ways you can. its not cowardly, and its not pathetic. sometimes forcing yourself to stare into a fire is more damaging than its worth, and you are the only one who can decide if it is or not. only you know how close to that fire you are. perhaps its better to distance yourself from this person even if its just for now, or perhaps its better to leave entirely. it depends on how uncomfortable you feel. but i suggest figuring it out quickly and saving yourself the trouble that will come if you string someone along for too long. its always blown up in my face eventually, for what my experience is worth, so deciding on your next move sooner than later saves you a lot of trouble. but perhaps the perks are better than the blow up later on. who am i to say.

if you do want to recover though, firstly, give yourself some credit. the way you are reacting is because this has kept you alive and safe this long, dont let yourself forget that. you arent ridiculous or pathetic or cowardly or whatever else your brain might be saying you are. you are alive, and you are deciding to grow past your trauma and the responses youve learnt to cope with it and thats fucking huge. dont forget it. now the first thing you want to do is really look at what is making you uncomfortable. something is, but itll take some digging. these survival methods run deep, and tracing back to the root of the issue will take time and a lot of work and so much fucking courage. its not easy, im not going to lie, but you can do it. you are worth the time and the work it takes to get the things you want for yourself. find out whats messing with you and see how you can resolve it, either by discussing it with your friend and letting them support you or just rationalising it with yourself. understand that you are able to keep yourself safe, you just have to figure out what you are afraid of being vulnerable to. youre going to be ok, and for the record, im really proud of you.

obviously to everyone: do whatever the fuck you want to forever. im not here to tell you to change your entire life just because i say you should, even im not that egotistical. im just offering my experiences and observations, its up to you what you do with them.

[9w1ft]

Although all these days I struggled to understand the concept of LSK or if Kaylor really are together still etc, Hudson Valley really sealed the deal for me. For reasons best known to Kaylor themselves, they definitely have chosen to live their life the way they do. Aaron posting Taylor in Hudson Valley same time as Karlie raised enough eyebrows for their PR teams to kick in and start diverting everyone's attention to Travlor instead. Cue the dinner, tonight's concert, extra PDA, karma line change etc. I see the reoccurring patterns clearly now.

I can't help but feel sad though that this is how they choose to live and of course no pressure for them to pick otherwise but I do hope someday they will decide to drop this facade and openly be together. Love your work btw and it's from your posts that I really started to believe in LSK :)

thank you for this message! and yeah, i think if you stick around and look at the big picture it makes a lot of sense and then things like what you mention above just kind of stick out a little more when they happen. and they happen from time to time.

i understand what you mean by feeling sad, though if you will allow me to go on a tangent,

i think i would be inclined to feel more sad for their situation if they were just everyday women in love with each other but unable to express it solely because of social inequality related to sexuality. but when i think of their entire situation, i know there are more factors involved than just the particularity of who they love. being a celebrity, for example, puts an additional variable into their story that makes the idea of them coming out more complicated and potentially dangerous, and thus potentially less beneficial to them on a personal level. coming out won’t necessarily make things automatically better, because the eyes of the world are on them and a lot of them are hostile. and that’s an anxiety we might not understand. so i try to think about it like that, and place the goal not at a universal ideal but more at a local ideal, the goal of their love persisting and persevering against the odds. i still find a lot of meaningfulness there.

i think we might assume they must be unhappy in their situation, and i’m not saying they can’t be, but i think assuming they are unfulfilled creates a perception that these things they do are painful for them when it might not be the case. i say this because i feel that over the years they’ve been able to sort out and be honest about what they want and what they don’t want, and how to go about things in a way that doesn’t invite miscommunication. looking at taylor’s discography i think there were absolutely years and instances where they weren’t communicating their best, and that both got hurt for different reasons. but i get the strong sense from a growing collection of songs that they’ve put in the work to be on the same page and have found something that works for them.

i don’t want to dismiss anybody that sees them do things and is hurt by it. she basically invented the book on parasocial engineering and i still have my feelings about miss americana and how that clearly set people with expectations. but i think taylor was pretty clear with midnights that she’s doing her thing rn and shining bright. and that she doesn’t want people to mistaken her as a guiding light.

so i think at some point it’s up to each of us as individuals to assess what it is that we get out of it and if it’s worth the time for us or if there are better places to invest our time. i just think that’s going to be different for each person and that’s okay!

[yeowangies]

Ambition

❧

PAIRING: Vegeta/F!Reader RATING: Explicit CONTENTS: Planet Vegeta AU, Saiyan Reader, Explicit Sexual Content. WARNINGS: DUBCON, Anal Sex. WORDCOUNT: 1675

Summary:

You weren’t royalty, but you still got recognition, and that was as powerful as you could get. You couldn’t have more unless you joined the royal family, and that meant marriage. To Prince Vegeta.

Notes:

For kinktober! I had this idea in mind for a while, I'm glad to be using this for this event 😈 @vegeta-bananabluish enjoy it, honey!

Day 6: Dubcon

Being one of the strongest Saiyan women was a benefit you wanted to exploit to the best of your ability. You had participated in every public battle, every tournament, and every battle royale there ever was, made yourself from the bottom, until your own name had been made. You weren’t royalty, but you still got recognition, and that was as powerful as you could get. 

But you wanted more, more strength, more power, more everything. Your ambition was insatiable.

That was it, however. You couldn’t have more unless you joined the royal family, and that meant marriage. To Prince Vegeta. 

While it didn’t thrill you to think about such a thing, King Vegeta, on the other hand, saw you as the best suitable partner for his son. Obviously, the lineage had to be only with the strongest warriors, and you were one of them. Which was the reason why you were currently at the palace, standing in front of the prince, with his father by your side. 

“Your offspring would be incredibly powerful.” The king’s voice resonated loudly in the room as he casually looked at you like he had caught the most precious gem in the universe. 

You tried to contain your expression, but your grimace must have been obvious, especially because the prince kept his eyes on you. 

The conversation was one of the most awkward ones for you, but King Vegeta seemed mostly interested in trying to convince the both of you that your union would be the most beneficial (for the Kingdom or whatever). You didn’t necessarily disagree; if you both were the most powerful Saiyans, your children should be just as strong, or even more. 

But if the snorts and glares the prince was giving you was any indication, he seemed as thrilled about the idea as you were. 

“You seem too feeble to be as strong as my father says you are.” The prince commented casually once the king had left to leave you both alone to ‘get to know each other’.

“I could say the same thing about you.” You arched an eyebrow, scanning him quickly. 

Prince Vegeta was actually fierce when it came to power levels, but his appearance didn’t give it away. He was just about your height, short for a Saiyan man. 

“Aren’t you rude?” Vegeta snorted, and you caught the twitch in his eye, but he otherwise seemed unbothered. 

“Just the right amount.”

“Why does the king even want me to mix with you?”

“This isn’t that great for me either, I know you have a lot of whores you can fuck instead of me.” You rolled your eyes, averting your gaze to the wall on your right.

“Watch your tongue.” Vegeta’s tone was hard, but you paid it no mind. “If you must know, I don’t have whores. I don’t invest my time in such a frivolous and pointless activity.”

“Ah, that explains it.” You sneered, smirking.

“Excuse me?”

“Rumor has it that you’re kind of a prude, and you just confirmed it to me.”

“Not just rude, but also nosy. You have some guts to say all that to my face.”

“Well, it does look like you need it.”

“Need what, exactly?” Vegeta practically growled, and you had to contain your laugh. 

“You know, a good lay.”

“And you’re suggesting you’re the best at it?”

“I wasn’t, but I have nothing to lose.” You shrugged your shoulders, smiling cheekily. “After all, it might be frivolous and pointless, but it can be so much fun.”

“I can think of doing something else that could be more fun, which involves me beating you to the ground.” Vegeta grinned, showing off his teeth. 

Your excitement was bubbling inside, making the tail wrapped around your waist bristle. Now you were talking. 

“You think you can beat me?” You taunted him with a smirk, staring directly into his eyes. “I think I trained more than you have in your lifetime, my prince.”

“Prove it, then,” Vegeta replied with a cocky grin on his face. 

You were confident in your abilities, but the fight that ensued on the training grounds moments later had caught you off guard. Vegeta was strong, incredibly so, and you had been positive you could be a match for him when it came to one on one combat, but not only did he outclass you, but he was literally beating you to the ground, like he said he would. 

And you were pissed. Which only made you much more sloppy. 

Vegeta had you pressed face first into the ground, with a hand on your head and pinning one of your wrists to the dirt. You were both covered in bruises and cuts by then, but the humiliation you felt for being so clearly overpowered hurt more. 

Squirming underneath him, you unsuccessfully tried to free yourself from his hold, earning a scornful laugh in return. 

“Didn’t you say you had trained more than I had? Is this the fruit of your efforts?”

You growled, angry at him and yourself, using the little strength you had to free yourself, but it was pointless.

“This wasn’t nearly as fun as I expected it to be.” Vegeta mocked you, and even when you couldn’t see him, you knew there was a shit-eating smirk on his face. “Maybe you were actually right before. Fucking you would be have been fun.”

Your mind froze when his words reached your ears, in disbelief of what you had actually heard. 

There wasn’t much time to think when Vegeta pinned your arm behind your back, making it easier for him to keep his hold on you as he shifted, reaching for the hem of your pants with his free hand. 

“Get off me!” You groaned, attempting to move your legs to kick him off.

Vegeta had completely subdued you, and you could barely even move as he crouched down, pressing his knees on your legs. You gasped loudly when he pulled down your pants and underwear in one move, but it was even worse when you felt his eyes fixed on your behind, simply staring for what felt like ages. 

You hated it to admit it, but as much as you despised losing, this situation was turning you on more than you would have ever expected. But you hoped to God it wasn’t noticeable, and that by some miracle, his sense of smell was failing him too. 

His glove was off in an instant, and you flinched when his hot fingers glided over the skin between your legs, dipping in just a little inside your folds. 

So much for hoping it wasn’t obvious how aroused you were; the wet sound from his touch was obscene. 

“What a lewd little creature, this wet from being thrown to the ground?” Vegeta teased you, and you didn’t have it in you to even reply. Why even deny it?

He slid three fingers in at once, and you practically jumped, taken aback by the sudden fullness. You tried to keep as quiet as you could, biting your lips so as not to moan, or worse, whimper. He was clearly toying with you, his touch was vague, soft, slipping in and out absentmindedly. 

“Are you actually going to do something?” You finally asked, once you felt your clit throb with want after being ignored the whole time. 

“Shut up, I’ll do what I want, when I want to.”

You grumbled resentfully, until you felt his fingers slip out and up, making you gasp and jump when his digits pressed against your asshole. 

“Wh-What are you doing?!” You growled, attempting to fight him off once more. 

“I’m going to fuck you here, stay still unless you want this to actually hurt.” Vegeta said, voice low with lust and dominance. 

“No! I don’t-I don’t want that!” You protested, still squirming to get rid of him, but knowing it was pointless. 

“Who said this was about what you wanted?” He sneered, tightening the grip he held on your wrist, making you wince. “You’re not in any position to demand shit.”

Resisting all you could with the little strength you had left, you flinched when you felt one of his fingers slid inside your rear entrance. 

Vegeta was actually doing that. In the training grounds of all places. 

It was one of the most humiliating things you had to endure, and you hoped to God no one would actually walk in and see what he was doing to you. What hurt the most was how aroused you were at being in such a helpless position. Even after he got three fingers in, you couldn’t help but be dripping wet, and he must have known. 

You couldn’t help the moan that slipped out when Vegeta finally pushed his cock in, making him laugh hoarsely once he was pressed flush to your ass. 

“Didn’t you say you didn’t want this? Your body is saying otherwise.”

Once he started pounding into you, the noises coming from your lips were inevitable. Gasps, whimpers and moans spilled out incessantly. You didn’t want to admit that you were enjoying the way his hips snapped against yours; even when he let go of your arm, you didn’t even dare to try and get away like you had before, completely submitting to him instead, digging your hands into the dirt to get some kind of hold as your body was dragged with each harsh thrust. 

When Vegeta grabbed your tail, tugging at it hard as means to keep you in place while he rammed into you, you were too far gone to even care, lifting your butt as best as you could to offer yourself more to him, like a cat in heat. It didn’t really hurt when he held your appendage, but it left you even much more sensitive to his ministrations. 

Any shame you could have felt was forgotten as he kept pummeling you into the ground, and his dark chuckle mixed in with your whimpers as you quickly sneaked a hand under your body to touch yourself. 

[inkstainedhandswithrings]

TB S2 EP 13 THOUGHTS!

True, Omega has gotten really good with being a soldier. She's staying cool in high tension situations, she has good aim, thinks on her feet and outsmarts her opponents easily. But Phee is right, Omega hasn't gotten to just be a kid for a while now. She deserves to have a proper childhood

LOVED seeing Hunter's enhanced senses at work. Sometimes I catch myself going "froce sensitive?" just because he's so hyper-aware

^this is just based on him grabbing that dudes wrist when he tried to take his money

THAT MOMENT WHEN WRECKER GOT UP WHEN THE GUY WAS ALL "shoulda brought more muscle" BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR BITCH

Phee shooting that guy under the table like damn girly alright

"Yes, I am playing against myself. It is the only time this game is a challenge." YES BABY TELL 'EM ALL HOW SMART YOU ARE🤍🤍🤍

"We never had such a thing. I do not see the issue." Oh,,,, oh Tech Baby. Stop telling people how dumb you are🤍🤍🤍

Hunter did look like he was mulling over Phee's words

CID CAN GO AND :)

"Our mutually beneficial agreement wasn't so beneficial,,, mutually." Hunter your himbo is showing babes

HHHHH OKAY IT'S SUBTLE BUT!!! When Phee types in the coordinates to Pabu, her hand lands on Tech's shoulder. He briefly glances down at it, somewhat skeptically, and then she lifts it off again, before patting his shoulder and his eyes widen a little bit and maybe im too invested in this ship and I'll be quiet now bye

PABU IS SO PRETTY OMG

I LOVE that Phee isn't like a pirate-pirate. Like I thought she was shady but dang, she's just taking back people's heritage that was stolen from them and I LOVE IT

"Got some competition." WAAAAHH I KNEW IT

"Welcome" "Welcome" "Welcome" "Welc-" "PUT IT THERE" WRECKER I LOVE YOU

"Lots of food, drink and general merrimaking," points at Tech, "You'll probably hate it. It'll be great." Tech rolls eyes

^YOUR HONOUR I LOVE THEM

NO BECAUSE BECAUSE Tech is the sassy b in the squad and Phee switching her flirting technique from "hi there good looking" to "lol dumb b" IS EXACTLY WHAT OUR BOY WANTS AND SHE FCKING KNOWS IT

AND THEN IT WORKS BC TECH TURNS AROUND TO LOOK AT HER WHEN THEY SPLIT AND HE'S LITERALLY THE ONLY ONE AND THEN HE HAS THE LITTLE SMILE AND DOWN ANGLED FACE AND WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"I have not heard her laugh like that in some time." Heeeeessss learniiiiing (that Phee was right lol)

"As a father, you couldn't ask for a better place to raise a child." Okay, glad we're all on the same page. Like, I'm glad all we gotta do is take one goddamn look at Hunter and just go "Dad."

I know it's supposed to be a joke again, but like Wrecker being full for the first time? That's so sad. Imagine going to bed hungry EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. Being full for the first time is something to remember, Tech should be writing it down.

Omega and Lyana bonding on the boat was so sweet!!

Phee getting Tech away from his datapad to get him to appreciate life's beauty IS MAKING MY HEART SO FULL

"Pretty spectacular, right?" <- Phee using the word spectacular, even though its not in her usual vocabulary, because she's generally more succinct and down to earth, but it's totally a word Tech would use

"I suppose... that is... one way to... quantify it." <- Whenever Tech talks about data or research (topics without emotional involvement) his sentences flow nicely and evenly and he gets about 100 out in 2 seconds. Whenever he has to talk about emotions or emotions are involved in the conversation suddenly he gets quieter and his sentences have less of a flow. He doesn't stutter, but he needs a minute to get them out. hmm yes very interesting.

Hunter checking in with the girls, so cute

Omegas learned a lot and has been pretty secure in her ability, but hearing her sound so scared when the wave came? dang. loved that she immediately called hunter though. V sweet :)

TECH AND PHEE WORKING TOGETHER

PHEE HOLDING ON TO TECH TO GET UP THE WALL HEHEHEHEHEHHE

Not a single 'fear of heights' comment from Wrecker when climbing that ladder. Proud of him :)

Tech pushing through that crowd to check on his bro THE CUTENESS

Wrecker side-hugging the mayor when he's looking at all the destruction I CAN'T THAT'S SO SWEET

So,,, so Phee and Tech just move as a unit now, huh... very interesting

Phee not letting Tech disturb Omega, Lyana, and Wrecker and him listening to her so quickly just,,, I think she'll end up helping him connect to/understand human emotion better and show him how to navigate relationships and I'm SO HERE FOR IT

Like she knows people and is clearly good with relationships, and he recognises that and trusts her to point him in the right direction, WHICH HE DIDN'T AT THE BEGINNING OF THE EPISODE!!!

"We could stay and help out with things."

"I had the same idea."

"Did you, now?"

cue cute smiling at eachother

WAAAAAAAA MY BABIES!!!!

10/10 episode, made my heart v happy. Dave Filoni, I have left your walls, you may live in peace until next week.

[coexistentialism]

I've talked about these things a lot on this blog, so a lot of this might be repeated things I've talked about before, but I've always said that I've described my experiences as "identity hyperfixations", where I latch onto things, even just Words that I find myself really liking, and an "identity" is "created" based around that Thing.

For some examples from my personal experiences!:

A lot of the time, these "identity hyperfixations" involve me latching onto media, particularly whatever current media we may or may not be interested in in the moment.

There's a game called Stray Gods: the Roleplaying Musical (pls play it omg pls-nJFNDSK). We were very attached to that game for a while when it came out and we found out about it. We particularly grew attached to the character Calliope and for about maybe 2 weeks or so? I thought about using the name Calliope at times, and I painted my nails yellow to match the color of her nails in the game. I wanted to dress like her and overall you can see where this is all going lmfao

Or recently where we were very attached to Splatoon (it's our main special interest, but the way we feel, play, and interact with the game and fandom and such online differs per parts!!) and 'I' identified as an octoling and just thought of myself with the name Octo, mostly as a placeholder because I couldn't think of anything better, but I grew to like it lmfao. Ofc I am always interested in Splatoon, but recently I was just much more interested in it and particularly interested in specific aspects and such, even ended up creating another blog, a Splatoon-centered blog that also functions as a sort of vent/DID-related blog (it's @annaki-octo if anyone wants to check it out lol)

You can, again, see where this is going. Incoming long post. Because I can never make a short post lmfao

I should also mention that, in the past, I often wouldn't actually ever use a different name, and I still don't, but I've more recently been doing that for a bit now because we're starting to get used to it and be okay with it and honestly it's been beneficial. But yeah, most of my life, I usually didn't outright actually use any separate names outwardly with people, and didn't even really realize that I was choosing different names for myself in the first place because I thought that I was just creating characters. And if I DID end up outwardly using a different name, it was excused as me choosing a different name because I'm trans or making up a "fake online pseudonym" for "privacy" reasons. It has never been any different to me than creating a character. It's still not.

This is basically EXACTLY what my experience is like, day-to-day/week-to-week/month-to-month.

They never really last long, and a new "identity hyperfixation" quickly follows, while the other one dies out.

And it usually goes like this, in the image above (it might be hard to read, sorry lol, but I'm describing it anyways so dw):

--- Concepts/ideas/etc. Pop Up Into My Brain:

May be thinking about the idea of using a different name

May be really invested in a new, or "re-new'd" interest (as in: something I liked in the past and I am now interested in it again after a long period of disinterest)

May prefer certain gendered terminology (or no, or different 'gendered' terminology), for example, boyfriend/girlfriend/partner (or something/anything else)

May prefer certain pronouns over others, and/or may struggle to know what kind of pronouns I like

May be thinking about changing our icon to something different than before (on Discord, Tumblr, etc.)

May be thinking about creating a new Tumblr side blog (with or without a ""fake name attached to it, definitely not an alter :)"" spoiler alert: it's usually an alter lmfao)

May or may not think about what it would be like the have a particular physical attribute(?), not sure how to word this lol, like I'll think about how I wished my hair looked a certain way, or sometimes if it's possible, I might actually do something to change my physical appearance somehow, even if it's just wearing a specific clothing piece, but sometimes it can be like with my Calliope example where I paint my nails a particular color, or I actually dye or cut my hair, etc... The possibilities can be endless and can even be much bigger changes, such as alters making the decision to go on HRT.

--- An 'Identity' Begins to 'Solidify'

May have found a name, or a 'placeholder name' to use

May like using a specific icon (on Tumblr, on Discord, etc.) or icons, or may like using icons with a common theme/visual appearance/etc. (such as using icons that feature the color blue a lot, or using icons of a specific character, etc.)

May become much more self-aware and confident in their existence

May or may not have created a new side blog, with or without a particular name attached to that blog

--- An 'Identity' Diminishes; start from the beginning

May no longer care for, or like, the previous name(s) or placeholder(s) names that we may have chosen

May no longer care for, or like, the previous icon(s) we used, the Tumblr blog(s) we may or may not have made, etc.

For as long as I can remember, this has been my experience with DID - or at least, NOW I understand that it's been DID all along.

And the cycle continues.

Nothing really ever "comes back." It's just "new" "identity" after "new" "identity" after "new" "identity" for me, day in and day out, week-to-week, month-to-month.

Not sure how to close off this post, but yeah lmfao

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

i kinda wanna know what goes down when darling finds out about the database on her. like we know yves is never gonna make a mistake, he's always gonna have things at home under control, but what if darling is just THAT nosy (me tbh) HAAKKALZKAKZ ANYWAY WELCOME BACK HOMIE

Maybe, you finding out about his database is intentional. Yves knows best, after all. He knows that you're not above snooping around his office even though he expressed that it's rude and he does not appreciate you invading his privacy. He is a massive hypocrite in a sense that he finds it unnerving to have anyone else collect information on him like how he collects yours.

He collected enough information to know that you would either be flattered to know he is paying attention to you so attentively that he is willing to invest an exorbitant amount of time and resources on you, or downright disgusted at him. If Yves deems that your reaction to him figuring out his well kept secret is positive (to him), he might even leave hints and clues for you to eventually discover his vault on your own. Even then, the dossiers that you discovered may still be a decoy, to keep you complacent and feeling somewhat secure in your privacy.

It really depends on your personality and how likely you are to react, and what will be the most effective method of making you stay happy with him. He could, weep prettily and apologize sincerely if that would make you feel better about it. He also could stay silent, put on his best poker face and let your anger fizzle out on it's own. Yves has years of experience bargaining and negotiating his way out of trouble and into getting what he wants. He could double-down on his decision and make it as if he isn't in the wrong at all, making you feel embarrassed that you perhaps 'overreacted'. he is horrifyingly good at doing that. He would definitely reward you for backing down.

If you have a particularly short attention span or memory, he could use that to his advantage and distract you with something else, I'd advice you to take a good, hard look at your medication if you take any. Take a look at your prescription glasses, your eyesight isn't getting worse or better. You're not losing your hearing, pay attention to the hidden speakers all around his house, it's playing something that you cannot hear.

The lights aren't bothering you but it doesn't mean you should ignore the fact that it's not irritating. The temperature seems to be perfectly fine, "nothing" wrong. It feels so much easier to breathe here, strange. Time feels different in his home, it almost doesn't feel linear. Some days it's harder to move around on your feet, some days it feels like a breeze.

And these aren't just coincidences, if Yves can control the small, seemingly insignificant things, he can easily puppet massive ones; such as, manipulating your perception of him collecting years worth of classified information of you. His words, he is a master of words. He picks his vocabulary and sentences structuring very carefully.

Before you even realize it, you're beating yourself up for being nosy and impolite instead. Or you might find his obsession with you is something normal and nothing to be upset about, so you drop the subject and drop your concerns. You've been brainwashed and you haven't had the slightest idea.

You might think you wouldn't fall for his mind games, and that is exactly what he wants you to think. Maybe you're a bit more humble and you know you're not immune to indoctrination. He would still want you to maintain that belief in yourself. Whatever you may think, it is beneficial to him.

No one calls him the reality bender for nothing, Yves' mind spins fast and you cannot keep up with him. He is always a mile's worth of steps ahead of you. It doesn't matter if he made mistakes, he is an adult, and can always clean up after himself.

But did he really make a mistake, though?

[anxiousnerdwritings]

What if yandere Cersei married Robert’s!Sibling!Baratheon and became pregnant? I know it won’t happen, because Tywin wants her to marry Robert, but what if she became pregnant with Baratheon!Reader and was caring their child? Of course Robert, Stannis and Renly would have suspicion, but they won’t think too much. After all the children/child have Baratheon features

Tw: Brief mention of physical abuse, manipulation and infidelity

I could see Tywin wanting Cersei to marry Robert but Robert not wanting to since he’s still hung up on Lyanna so he offers up the Reader. Tywin may become more persistent that it must be Robert I marry her since he’d be King and that would in turn make Cersei Queen but Robert couldn’t careless and tells Tywin that if he wants any kind of alliance with the Baratheons and the new crown then he’ll go with the betrothal of having Cersei married to the Reader instead.

In the case that Stannis convinces Robert that it would be much more beneficial for him to marry Cersei and ensure the Lannister alliance himself then he would, begrudgingly. And this way Cersei still gets to be Queen but instead of taking Jaime as her lover and having him father her children she would have her darling be the one to do so. This would workout so much more in her favor now that her children resemble the traits of true Baratheons. Robert wouldn’t be any the wiser to what was going on under his own nose. Renly wouldn’t really realize it either, unless the Reader and Cersei weren’t being to subtle about their affair, but then again if Renly and the Reader were closer to each other then he would keep his sibling’s secret.

It would be left to Stannis to realize that Cersei’s children aren’t Robert’s but the Reader’s instead. He wouldn’t be nearly as invested in trying to prove the infidelity and true parentage of Cersei’s children but it would still irk him. If Stannis and the Reader were closer then I could see him keeping this on the low down for the Reader and not taking any action regarding it. Not only are the children still Baratheons even though they are his other sibling’s bastards, but Stannis would also probably gain more from the Reader marrying Cersei and taking up being King after Robert’s death.

When Robert took up being King he would probably have the Reader stay in King’s Landing as one of his trusted advisors or for some good ol’ company. No doubt that Robert would drag the Reader into his shenanigans, especially the drinking and the whoring, much to Cersei’s extreme dismay. Given that the Redaer probably took up being a knight or something, Cersei may request that they be the one to be her sworn guard and protect her rather than Jaime. Who better to protect her and ensure the Queen’s safety than the King’s own brother? And Robert would most likely have no problem with that.

Regarding Robert’s death, that would still be entirely up to Cersei. She would definitely still want Robert dead so that she could marry the Reader and be able to live the rightful life she wants to live with them by her side. The Reader probably wouldn’t have or take any part in it whether they knew of Cersei’s plans or not. Robert was their brother after all and even if the Reader went behind his back and not only had an affair with his brother’s wife but also bastard his children with her, but the Reader wouldn’t kill his own flesh and blood.

Imagine if the Reader and Robert were actually very close, that would only make his death all the harder on the Reader. And to have Cersei, the one who had a hand in Robert’s death, be the one to to comfort and console the Reader afterward wouldn’t dwell to well once the Reader find out the truth. If the Reader were to find out that Cersei had his brother killed so that the two could finally be together openly and raise their children together (the way it should have been all along), he’s not going to react the way Cersei would have hoped he would. But Cersei would manipulate him and say that she was only doing it for them and their children. She would use the children to keep the Reader in line and by her side too if he ever threatened to leave her for her actions. She would also use the excuse that Robert continually abused her and that she was finally putting a stop to it by getting rid of him, that way the Reader could take his place and be the one to love and treat her the way she wanted and needed, as well as be the father their children really needed.

Given that the children would more than likely have the Baratheon traits then Robert may genuinely try to be a father to them and be invested in their upbringing. Cersei would of course not take well to this at all and would do everything in her power to keep Robert away from her and her darling’s children. She would even turn the children against Robert once they were old enough to understand, again using his abuse among other things to rip apart Robert’s character and make him look like shit in their children’s eyes. She would instead have the Reader spend as much time with and interact as often as possible with the children, instilling in them that he was the male figure in their life that they wanted and needed. She would speak so highly and admirably of the Reader to her children that they would also see him in that same light. She may even tell them that he was their true father and the Robert was nothing to them.

[fanstuffrantings]

Time to rant about the Alvarez arc and issues I had with it once more now that I've posted some spriggan redesigns. This might be long.

The largest reason Alvarez and anything following Tartaros fall so flat is because you can almost tell Mashima was checked out by that point. That his excitement for the series had dwindled.

I have this theory that Tartaros was meant to be the last arc of the series but there were still things unanswered meaning that he was forced into adding more on. Now I don't say this as someone who thinks tartaros should've been the end, but because none of the villains after this point have any weight to them when honestly they should. All the reveals feel like they're done to surprise the audience more than flesh out the story.

I'm someone who always hated the Irene as Erza's mom plot because we really didn't need it. It was a trend of "villain is a blood relative" twists mashima kept throwing in and by that point it was honestly more annoying than anything. Erza never had questions about her family. She was never focused on her past so introducing her mother felt so out of left field. Irene literally could've just been the person who was in charge of creating the tower of Heaven, maybe she was even the on who corrupted Jellal, and that would've done far more towards making me invested in a showdown between her and Erza than anything in canon.

In general the Spriggan 12 being set up as characters involved in the various arcs would've been so beneficial because it would've given readers actual reasons to be angry or upset. What if Invel was the one who created Deliora and consistently tried to create new ice demons to impress Zeref. What if Layla's death was originally believed to be an accident but as time goes on Lucy uncovers more deaths and incidents connected to her mother that eventually lead back to Brandish. The tartaros group answering to August, who is still devote to Zeref, giving us a more solid reason to believe him as a Wizard king and actual tangible terror at the thought of facing him if tartaros itself would bend to him.

And this isn't even getting into how all their designs seem so slapped together causing them to look more like mid level/filler villains than actual final arc antagonists. Compare them to any of the tartaros characters and it just instantly becomes so obvious which ones Mashima actually cared about. By that point he knew he just had to make the women scantily clad and his die hard fans would ignore everything else. Jacob Lessio is one of the first Spriggan I think of whenever I get angry over how rushed their designs are.

Even Zeref himself felt so disappointing as a villain because any hype built for him really peaked during the tartaros arc. I was sure he'd be the one to appear instead of Mard Geer. It felt like that's what tartaros was building to. But instead we someone new and Zeref was pushed back. We could talk about him torturing Mavis and how Mashima still wanted to paint things between them as romantic because heaven forbid Mavis actually be a human with emotions who gets mad and vengeful when she's hurt, but we'll move on.

Beyond just this, Alvarez kingdom could've been so very interesting to have in the background, mentioned every now and then off handedly by side characters or guild members when discussing the world around them. This idea of it always existing but just never seeming important to our leads who aren't thinking about the political side of things. Us getting Alvarez hints early on and Alvarez only increasing in importance would've been something for fans to hold onto and engage with.

Mashima really dropped the ball on the series following Tartaros from the gray villain arc that amounted to nothing, a 1 year time skip setting up Natsu and Lucy collecting guild members that ended with everyone miraculously back at the guild with no persuasion necessary, to his final antagonists carrying non of the weight he wanted because titles don't create fear. And it makes me so incredibly furious because all it would've taken was actual care and interest in his own creation.

[heroicgartist]

How Vault Tec Rep and Kent Connolly parallel each other and cute relationship headcanons (REALLY SELF INDULGENT)

Tbh I feel like Vault Tec Rep (David Dwecker) and Kent Connolly must've known each other in their past life because I sometimes think back to the way he mentions how Kent is crazy and I just like running off that idea that Crazy Kent is a nickname David gave to him XD

I think it's a cute idea that David and Kent were kinda maybe childhood friends because their dynamic would make too much sense to me. Kent being the Silver Shroud fanatic that he is while David is a fanatic of having stress inducing levels of work ethic for Vault Tec.

I can see Kent endlessly rambling on and on about whatever new story has been produced about the silver shroud to even rants about inconsistencies and flaws with new continuity being made.

While David doesn't really care about whatever childish fictional material Kent likes no matter how grounded Kent says it is, I think he could've gotten motivated by Kent's spirit no matter how timid he may be about it towards other people. He likes how charismatically excited Kent sounds through the stutters. David might've felt jealous about his boundless sense of enthusiasm for one fictional hero. That his spirit seems to be energized even through potential lore/continuity disappointments because holy heck Kent really speaks a lot.

All of this leading up to post-war Kent and David taking opposite stances of their post-war lifestyle. While it is cut from the same root of needing something of the past to push on towards the future. Kent using his forever bound passion in the Silver Shroud to spread the hope and investment he had for the story althroughout the commonwealth wherever he can. To spread the spirit of the Silver Shroud to whoever who wants to aspire being him. His sense of idealism makes use of his past albeit not-at-first practical skills in order to have an actual real Silver Shroud in the Commonwealth. His influence he felt from fiction managed to become possible even in a post-war environment.

To David though, his past passion all led to disappointment and a eternal feeling of betrayal. He represented a corrupt company that sought to not protect everyone from the threat of nuclear devastation and he has to live with the fact that all his hard work effectively represented a corrupt source of power that left him and other people to rot in the wastes or become freaks of Vault Tec's manufactured nature.

He felt like he had nothing of the past to treasure and even people (and 1 Codsworth) from the past was not enough to liven his spirit of the burden he felt he wrought onto himself. He needed a semblance of normalcy and trust from his past life to rely on, also a voice that he could vent to. Some sort of sanctuary isolated from the present he is stuck with.

While David effectively leaves Goodneighbor for Sanctuary to go back to his lively salesman self. I like to think he visits Goodneighbor (via taxi of course) to chat up with Kent with whatever crazy nonsense he has to say about the NEW AWE INSPIRING VENTURES OF THE SILVER SHROUD IN THE COMMONWEALTH. Potentially asking Kent for a favor to sponsor his vendor shops. Now Kent has to bear a grin whenever David speaks all about business and how it could be beneficial inside the Silver Shroud Radio broadcasts. He doesn't really get why he loves doing business so much ^O^" It just turns out David just really needed something to hook onto which is that all the skills and memories he has of his past life were not for nothing.

*misc headcanons

David has to be the one that pulls Kent away from trouble even when he is scared as all heck in a handbasket. Allowing himself to get beatup by bullies or else seeing Kent hurt would kill his spirit more

Kent knows that David isn't really interested, but he relies on David to be a patient polite listener (he is trained to be that way after all)

Kent uses David as a model because he really takes care of his clothes (THE SAME VAULT TEC REPRESENTATIVE OUTFIT STILL RELATIVELY GOOD BRUHHH)

Whenever David agrees to wear a costume with him, he gets the courage to wear the Silver Shroud costume himself (mainly becuz Vault Tec Rep's manage to look like a cool mysterious stranger kinda fella! Aesthetic awesomeness! B))

David helps Kent with his homework so that he can get an allowance to get more and more comic books and merchandise every week. Kent had hobbies to do, David had a comprehensible learning process! ^O^

David likes smoothskin sole survivor from the past, so he gets soothed that Kent's voice sounds completely unharmed. And also kinda cute on a ghoul.

They make Silver Shroud fanfics together, David on keyboard, Kent on idea machine!

Kent made David steak knife weapons, he likes seeing David happy (to do some good justice with the Silver Shroud! Those steak knives are meant for Tuxedo Mask-esque finishers!!! >:D)

Oh and yeah they kisssssssss >3< Kent comments on how good of a person David is to him. David often has moments of self doubt due to his past with Vault Tec and being the image on people's doorsteps of what Vault Tec is supposed to be. But Kent would bring up how David managed to outlive whoever might've controlled Vault Tec at the higher ups themselves even without their corruption made tech. That they are ready and prepared to make their own future!

Anyways good night! -3-

[disneytva]

Congratulations to Ariel's Art Director Chrystin Garland for being featured in Animation Magazine's “Rising Stars of Animation 2024.

Garland biggest wish for the future include being showrunner on an original series that she developed.

Chrystin Garland

I knew I wanted to have a career in animation when: I always knew that I loved drawing, but I didn’t necessarily make the connection that animation was something one could pursue as a career. I don’t think I ever really considered who was behind the cartoons I was so eager to watch after school or the amount of effort that went into making these series possible. Animation was simply a wonderful, magical thing that I enjoyed. My parents, ever invested in my education, signed me up for a series of college courses one summer that happened to include an introduction to traditional animation. That class completely changed my life.

First job in animation: Character designer on Niko and the Sword of Light.

What I love about my current project: I’ve always been a huge fan of stage plays and musicals that put their own unique spin on the source material. I am incredibly grateful that our talented crew, led by the incomparable Lynne Southerland, has an opportunity to do the same with another beloved classic. Seeing all the amazing things our creative team brings to the table week after week is truly a highlight! It feels like everyone is doing their best to make something wonderful, and that’s exciting. Biggest challenge: Waiting for the series to premiere!

Favorite animated movie or TV show growing up: I was absolutely obsessed with Sailor Moon as a child and still am a huge fan to this day. I remember having to wake up super early in the morning to catch it on TV, since this was pre-Toonami. Probably the earliest and most consistently I’ve woken up by choice. Animation role model: I consider Everett Downing Jr. to have been my unofficial mentor throughout the course of my career. I really admire his storytelling and sense of collaboration among creatives that he brings to all his projects. Best advice: Everyone’s path breaking into and navigating the animation industry is going to be different. If working in this field is truly your dream, continue to push forward and hone your skills whenever you can. It can also be beneficial to stay open to opportunities that don’t align perfectly with your established goal. You never know where those experiences may lead you. Future plans: To be a showrunner on an original series that I developed. That would be a dream come true!

[threeclans]

Hi! I hope all is well. Ive been in the wcrp community for a few years now and Im currently in the process of rebooting my own rp server. Ive tried several times and have been struggling with keeping them running/staying motivated because activity seems to die completely about a month or two after opening… I was wondering if you had any advice for running a long-term rp like this? Anything is appreciated.

Hi! Advice as far as group management goes is always something that will vary from group to group — what works for us might not be exactly what another group wants to follow for their own guidelines, depending on preferences and standards for how certain things like time and server setup are handled — but I'd be happy to go into some things that I think have led to ThreeClans seeing a lot of success through the 8 years we've been active!

We've had to do a lot of adapting and learning during this time, which is the first thing I'll make note of. When our group started, we were roleplaying on Skype, and our organization looked quite a bit different than it does now today! Still, we've kept a lot of things from our past too, like our commitment to keeping up with the pace that we've chosen for our group (which follows a real life time system, so that the flow of time progression proceeds naturally in tandem with the flow of time in real life — each day that goes by in real life is the equivalent of one roleplay day, so that you don't have to worry about doing any math to track how your characters should be aging or progressing) and our longstanding lore and rules for the sake of member comfort.

One thing to keep a group going that I've found beneficial in ThreeClans on the modding front is making management something you feel capable of handling! As a Mod, you're dedicating quite a bit of your free time to something that's a hobby, and if you aren't able to invest your time or passion into a group, it's easy for members to feel uninvested too. To make this smooth for everyone, set yourself up for success! One way we do this in ThreeClans is by making things comfortable for us. We like to keep our channel numbers low, for example, so that we're not constantly darting back and forth between hundreds of text chats trying to keep up with what's being said. We've also been told this helps members feel less overwhelmed in what would otherwise come off as a "large server" with many channels to drown in. As an example, I've attached a screenshot below to display what our setup looks like for three of our main categories for NettleClan, CreekClan, and JaggedClan and the amount of channels we have accessible for each one.

When these are kept open, I can see them all at once on my screen without scrolling. Any notifications, therefore, are visible, and I can keep a close eye on all activity! Some of these channels are also temporary, and therefore we're usually even a bit lower in number. One other thing to note here is organization in the way you name things. Being able to search your channels for relevant information using Discord's search feature makes modding tasks easy. Say you need to reference a roleplay done by a member: by knowing exactly what format of naming you use for the channels you have available, you'll know where to look when searching!

When it comes to motivation on both the behalf of Mods and members, it's definitely a delicate balance. Sometimes you just can't be sure who will "click" in a group or with a particular opening. In ThreeClans, we always try to prepare for our openings with the awareness that we may have members who join and then drop off in the early weeks of being in the server for one reason or another. They may not mesh with the server atmosphere, they may feel overwhelmed with the amount of history or the amount of people present, they may simply get too busy to be prepared to take on roleplaying at the time and may not have anticipated such a thing when applying! For whatever reason, sometimes things just don't work out. We'd advise, then, leaving some "extra room" when you open a roleplay for these occurrences. Accept enough applications so that even if a couple of members do decide to depart, you won't be out of your entire member base.

Of course, you don't want to resign yourself entirely to the idea of people leaving! Like I mentioned, feelings of being overwhelmed can sometimes crop up, or sometimes people may just be a bit shy. In this case, the best thing you can do is be prepared to include them. Go out of your way to say hello specifically to them as they join the server! Offer a compliment when you DM them to give them their invite. When setting up the server for new members, be sure to make sure that every person is included in conversations about character development and relationships. It's your job as a Mod to take note of who clusters together and who might be a little more quiet, and while you can't make anyone talk, you can reach out and let them know you'd love to roleplay with them when you have a chance! This is something you should also encourage members of your roleplay to do if you have a pre-existing server. In ThreeClans, I think part of the reason we see success in new openings is because our current member base is so actively welcoming and completely excited to say hello to any new participants when they do hop in to the server that it's easy to feel like you've made a friend from the start.

When people feel like they fit in, they're more likely to maintain engagement in a group. Let them feel like they can come to your Mod team with ideas, and you'll be able to bounce your own thoughts off of them and help generate further plotlines that fuel you past that initial thread of the 1-2 month period of excitement. Of course, sometimes it has to be up to you and your Mod team to take note of the unique traits of people and their characters and come up with pitches to present to them on your own. This can be exciting for members as they feel included in something that makes them want to keep moving along — in addition, I'd always suggest that when you start a group, you should have an idea of how your opening plot is going to slot in new additions.

All too often I think people tend to have a basis for lore / setting / staff characters and neglect to imagine the plot threads that will need filling in by new additions. This can mean creating a draft and reworking it a few times as you figure out who the characters that'll come to populate your roleplay server are, of course, but even having a loose idea of a plot such as "This opening will be based around the idea of a clan that has been stable for seasons upon seasons, but now with the introduction of a branch group claiming to be descendants of former clanmates who went missing years ago, they're forced to reckon with what they really know about their history and how it might impact the reality of their cozy lifestyle and current leadership," gives you something to work with. Member characters can fit into the role of characters comfortable with their normal lives (soon to be disturbed) or in the position of those about to shake things up, depending on where you choose to go with things.

Another thing to mention as far as activity goes is maintaining OOC connections! It might take some time with a fresh group, but part of what keeps ThreeClans together, in my opinion, is the bonds formed by our members and the fact that we all often get together to have fun outside of roleplay settings. Things like movie nights hosted on stream or casual gaming sessions / nights hosted by Mods or staff can really bring a community together and foster a sense of belonging which translates to an overall feeling of happiness in a server. You can choose to host OOC events that have an impact on the IC world too, like contests to make up parts of the lore of your server or to create things like clan icons or server specific resources with special rewards like character art given out to anyone who participates!

This is getting long, though I could go on for ages about all the things that can compliment a server and its continued activity. At the end of the day, sometimes you just have to keep trying! Your first attempt or your first few attempts might fall through, but if you show continued passion and find the right group of people to work with, you'll manage to make something that continues steadily along, I'm sure!

Mod Maya