#polyfragmented did

[councilsys]

constant sys mood is “i know, but i don’t know why”

- i know my (legal) name but not why im called that

- i know where i live but not why i live here

- i know these are my cats but i dont know why/how i have them/got them

- i know that’s my family, but idk why or how

please tell me this is relatable

[doomsdayradio]

the systems journey of discovery has certainly been interesting

[plague-hybrid]

Autistic polyfrag culture is really just the same cycle over and over

> Get a new hyperfixation (or rediscover an old one)

> Go through any sort of stress

> Congratulations, you now have at least 2 new introjects to greet to the party

[coexistentialism]

[sysboxes]

[Text: This system is currently questioning if they’re polyfragmented, please be patient with them.]

[Text: This system is currently questioning if they’re complex, please be patient with them.]

Like/Reblog if you save or use please ^^

[polyfragcultureis]

polyfrag culture is being like "i genuinely dont understand how my life was so bad i developed polyfrag DID" and your friend who youve told practically all the trauma youre currently aware of looks at you in horror

[blackholemojis]

Have you made an emoji for C-DID (complex-DID) / polyfragmented DID?

Not until this ask!

[ID: a figure surrounded by colorful bubbles. Some have simplistic faces, some are connected, some blur together, some have smaller bubbles inside them, and there are duplicates of several colors. In the background there is a very large cloud that fades into a gradient. End ID]

EDIT: I realized I forgot the dissociation clouds, so here’s the version with the dissociation clouds!

[xenodelic]

An attempt to describe emotions with polyfragmented DID

Big disclaimer up top that this is just our experience, and we can only speak for ourselves. We were motivated to write this based on a conversation we had with a loved one, trying to explain how we experience strong emotions as a polyfragmented DID system.

This revolves mainly around the existence of emotional fragments, and the structures they take on within our system. Keep in mind, any plural person can have fragments, but having complex structures of many fragmented parts is, of course, a key feature of polyfragmentation.

1.) Trigger

Cue any sort of emotional trigger. Fragments can either split right in that very moment, or already existing ones can be brought up by the trigger. Typically several will appear at a time, each embodying a different reaction to the trigger.

2.) "Hijacking"

This is perhaps a bit of a loaded word, but this is what it feels like for us once the fragments start to front. Whoever else is fronting will typically still be there, but their reactions and behaviors will be heavily influenced by the fragments. Our mindset will very suddenly change, and we'll be thinking through the lens of whatever emotion or memory that fragment embodies.

3.) Dissociative Barriers

We can be experiencing very obvious signs of acute distress - i.e., blood pressure and heart rate increase, flushed skin, dizziness, headache, etc. But still be completely unaware that we're in distress. This is because even when the fragment is hijacking, it is still separated by a "wall" of dissociation. We often cannot perceive that its there, or identity the actual emotion associated with it, because of this dissociation.

(This was the part our loved one was most shocked by - because we had expressed before that we can be distressed and not realize it, but they had no idea why or how that worked!)

At best, we realize that there is something wrong, but severely struggle to identify what emotions are actually there. Attempting to identify the emotion can result in strong resistance, as we have parts that specifically exist to stop us from identifying other parts.

4.) Rapid sequence

Depending on the trigger, there will usually be several fragments that come up in succession. This can often be a pre-determined sequence that is tailored to the specific trigger. So for example, they may come up in the order of anxiety > fear > lashing out > self loathing > depression. After the sequence is finished, we are often "reset" to a neutral state.

We can experience a severe trauma trigger, play out a sequence of intense emotions, and return to a neutral within the span of 10-20 minutes (its not always that short, but it usually lasts a maximum of a couple hours for us). The pattern of the sequence is typically very predictable, sometimes even methodical.

5.) Emotional Amnesia

After all is said and done, the fragments more or less disappear. Within just a few minutes, we might not even recall that we were in distress. Often times we remember that something was wrong, but won't be able to recall the details or identify what emotions we were experiencing at all.

-

We hope this makes some sense, and that folks can conceptualize what we're trying to describe. Its a very complex process that we're only just recently being able to unravel. We spent the first 20+ years of our life thinking this was entirely normal and that's just how everyone experiences emotions.

Anyone, particularly other polyfrag systems, are welcome to add to this post with their experiences. We hope maybe this will resonate with some folks and help give a way to describe their experiences. This was an exercise of self-expression for us, so any sort of feedback is welcome!

[justanotherstardrop]

miserable

[asterism-collective]

me: ohhh I feel so fake I’m not a real sys :/ we all just act the same…. not very DID of us :(

my friend: no actually the littles talk so fast over call and Vaz has a very deep voice but also Eshe or Moira have a brighter bubbly voice, you guys even look different in the pics you send me, I can see it in your pose and your smiles, also you laugh so different which is so interesting and-

[actuallyverynormalbtw]

that dissociative glitch when your brain mashes Your Conciousness with Another Alter's Behavior.

feeling like the most specific frankenblur in the world

[councilsys]

specific poll related to our system time!

[mimikyu-chr]

being chronically dissociated isn’t the most talked about DID symptom but it’s a complete nightmare to live with and i hate it so much.

i’m rarely fully grounded, i always feel like the smallest trigger is gonna send me back to not knowing who i am again. i’m on autopilot a lot, just going through the motions of life, not truly living it. i spend most of my time feeling at least partially out of it and people make a lot of assumptions based on that. it’s also exhausting, and it puts me in… situations. these range from ‘i wasn’t focused on being grounded and didn’t notice the queue moved’ to ‘my younger sibling stopped me walking into traffic because i wasn’t able to ground myself enough to be aware of my surroundings outside’

[the-firefly-jar-system]

~Arlene🪽🩵

[coexistentialism]

Fellow system here! I don’t know what being polyfragmented means. Could you please explain it to me?

Polyfragmented DID is really difficult to explain because there's not really any literature on it beyond a few papers.

Generally, it means somebody who has a complicated system. Polyfragmented systems also tend to have a high number of alters, but that's not a requirement.

There is no set number of how many alters you have to have, despite what people might try to say. And having a large number of alters is not the defining feature of polyfragmented DID; it is the complex organization of a system that's more important.

Besides, most polyfragmented systems will tell you that they have no idea how many alters they have, but they know they're polyfragmented for other reasons (I myself can't tell you how many, but I know there are many based off of the many common features of polyfragmented DID that I highly relate to, my own feelings, etc.).

Here are COMMON FEATURES of polyfragmented systems:

Note that these are COMMON FEATURES and not DEFINING FEATURES. Not all polyfragmented systems will have these experiences, nor will they have ALL of these experiences, and these experiences do not DEFINE polyfragmented DID.

It's common for polyfragmented systems to have a history of trauma/abuse that lasted a very long time.

It's common for polyfragmented systems to have a history of trauma/abuse that started very early in life (as an infant, a toddler, etc.)

It's common for polyfragmented systems to have a history of trauma that occurred over many, many years (past teenage years, past adulthood, etc.)

It's common for polyfragmented systems to have a history of extreme and/or sadistic abuse (organized abuse, ritual abuse, sexual abuse involving animals, etc.)

It's common for polyfragmented systems to split alters easily, and frequently.

"As children they had been so bombarded with outrages that they had not been able to develop a cohesive and comprehensive system of alters within which their further traumata could be managed. Instead, new alters were formed frequently on an ad hoc basis, and many persisted, some becoming major, some highly specialized, and some fairly inactive. Clearly their families were chaotic and unsafe, as evidenced by the high percentage of incest victims." -- The Phenomenology and Treatment of Extremely Complex Multiple Personality Disorder

"All MPD patients were most unfortunate in their life experiences, but for many the abuse was unusual even by the norms of work with MPD patients." -- The Phenomenology and Treatment of Extremely Complex Multiple Personality Disorder

Having a large amount of alters may mean that many alters share overlapping traits, likes, dislikes, etc.

Having so many alters and so many alters with overlapping traits may make it difficult for polyfragmented systems to figure out who their alters are, figure out their system, etc.

It's common for polyfragmented systems to have alters who might seem like different "versions" of the same alter

Polyfragmented systems often might mistakenly believe that they had OSDD due to the nature of how similar their parts are, how difficult it is to discern between who is who, etc.

Polyfragmented systems may frequently find themselves discovering new alters frequently, sometimes daily/weekly/etc.

Polyfragmented systems may be more likely to feel as if they never have a sense of self, or only very rarely have a sense of self

While this is true for ANY system, small or not, I believe it's accurate to say that polyfragmented systems may be more likely to experience a presentation of DID that is not "obvious" to others.

"The more alters that a patient has, the higher the percentage of them that will appear less frequently or openly. To anticipate a point, the more alters that are both present and active, the less clearly is the patient likely to display the features expected to be found in the classic descriptions of MPD, which are based on the alternation of a small number of well-defined alters." -- The Phenomenology and Treatment of Extremely Complex Multiple Personality Disorder

"Another phenomenon that appears to have impacted on the manifest appearance of these patients, and thus upon their ability to be diagnosed, is order effect. First brought to the awareness of the MPD field by Frank W. Putnam, M.D., in a series of workshops and other presentations, this phenomenon relates to the fact that all alters are not the same all the time. Alter A may be somewhat different when it has been preceded by alter B than when it follows alter C. In situations in which many alters are switching with rapidity and facility, their appearance may not be as crisp and clear as when they are elicited in the clinical situation from a relatively placid baseline. In naturalistic circumstances, the alters of a highly complex and rapidly switching MPD patient may show few of the clear phenomena commonly associated with the condition." -- The Phenomenology and Treatment of Extremely Complex Multiple Personality Disorder

"Some multiples with subtle forms could be complex multiples with 26 or more personalities and personality states or polyfragmented multiples." -- DIAGNOSIS OF COVERT AND SUBTLE FORMS OF MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER

It's common for polyfragmented systems to have less integrative capacity, and less ability to cope with stress, leading to many polyfragmented systems splitting alters in response to any and all stressors.

"A substantial minority had developed a pattern of forming new alters in the face of trivial stressors and inconveniences, or whenever they felt cornered." -- The Phenomenology and Treatment of Extremely Complex Multiple Personality Disorder

It's common for polyfragmented systems to switch frequently, and switch easily, often instantaneously.

* This is not exclusive to polyfragmented systems; any system can switch frequently, easily, and instantaneously; I just believe that polyfragmented systems may be more likely to experience this, but not always.

"Extremely Complex or Polyfragmented MPD: Presence of such a wide variety of alter personalities with such frequent switching between alters that it is difficult to discern the outline of MPD and the multiplicity actually disguises itself." -- Common Presentations of MPD

"Switching between alternate identities has been reported to take anywhere from a few seconds. to 30 sec, to brief times less than 2–5 min. However, the switches that occurred during this study were rapid and appeared instantaneous. Some switches were readily apparent, while others were not, but for the most part the DID participants were able to identify when they had switched in the previous session." -- Measuring Fragmentation in Dissociative Identity Disorder: the Integration Measure and Relationship to Switching and Time in Therapy

It's also common for polyfragmented systems to have an extremely vast, vivid, and distinct inner world, but not always.

"Over two-thirds had developed elaborate inner worlds, in which the personalities interacted among themselves to an extent that is far beyond the norm in MPD. These inner alters were quite crucial to these patients' psychological structure and could emerge and assume executive control." -- The Phenomenology and Treatment of Extremely Complex Multiple Personality Disorder

Here are some other things that Kluft's paper mentions about polyfragmented DID:

"Almost two-thirds developed complex splitting patterns so that more than one new alter emerged on each occasion of the formation of new alters. Some developed separate lines of alters, each of which divided further on each occasion of new alter formation. Some had developed a pattern of generating new alters in clusters, such as groups each of whose members served different functions, or retained different aspects of a terrible experience."

"A like number reported that others encouraged and / or manipulated their condition."

"Epochal divisions were common in most of this cohort as isolated phenomena, but played a major role in a substantial minority. With each major life change some or all of the alters were created anew, and their predecessors might either remain active or subside, and become covert or latent. The dynamics of such configurations usually reflect the wish to make a new start , rebirth fantasies, or anniversary phenomena."

"Those few MPD patients who analogize their plights to known myths or creative works (or who generate their own) may create a number of alters with little substance to fill in roles in their myth or reconfigure the present alters to parallel the personae of the myth/ creative work. With such patients, it becomes crucial to understand the communicative function of the myth rather than to become enmeshed within its details. One patient reconfigured her alters after reading J.R.R. Tolkien 's Lord oj the Rings, and presented a complex cadre of alters based on hobbits, orcs, and wizards; another used Shakespeare's Tempest, a situation that became clear when I encountered an alter called Caliban."

"Most MPD patients have alters based on identification, internalization, and introjection, but a small percentage have formed a massive number of alters in this manner as a defense against object loss. These patients were rejected by large extended families, and introjected their members, forming alters based upon them."

"A small number of MPD patients have attributed special power to particular symbols or numbers, and these come to influence their manner of alter formation. One patient felt the number seven had special meaning to her. She wore a ring with seven stones, and her alters emerged in groups of seven."

[sysboxes]

[Text: This polyfragmented system has fictives from niche series.]

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