#but why does he have to be so un-Doctor sometimes??

[sallysellsseashellssundays]

Disclaimer: This post is going to be Anti Moffat for anyone who’s reading and is a fan you’ve been warned.

“Day of the Moon” is the second part to “The Impossible Astronaut” and, well there’s no other way to say this, but after enjoying the first part I highly disliked a lot of things in the second part.

The Good: Setting these episodes in 1969 America was a great idea, I enjoyed not seeing an episode in Cardiff or London tbh lol. Amy was being super brave because idk if I’d go investigate in the orphanage, what a terrifying place to be in! The scene with Nixon after The Doctor broke into the Apollo 11 module was hilarious, and Rory doesn’t do much but when he does he’s so funny! Canton was such a great character in just two episodes, I certainly wouldn’t mind if he’d stayed on as a companion honestly. I liked the villains (SUPER terrifying), and how the Doctor defeated them, but I’m wondering if they’ll be back because they were mentioning The Silence a lot in S5 and I’m going to be upset if they did all that just for it to be resolved in the first 2 episodes of the series.

The Bad: What was the point of them investigating for 3 months when all of that drama amounted to “we don’t know anything about them, here’s some nano recorders in our hands”? Murray Gold is still the composer I assume, he’s made some incredible scores but in this series the music keeps playing repeatedly during the episode as if I’m being cued to say “wow this is so cool” and it’s really starting to bother me.  Amy calling out the Doctor on flirting with River when she was tied up by the Silence, good on Amy, but it feels like a repeat of GITF with the Doctor only worried about flirting with Reinette when Mickey and Rose were in danger. It felt really wrong too because we kept hearing Amy sobbing and being so scared, I’d assumed the Doctor was playing off how worried he was for her...but then he really didn’t seem to actually be that worried for her. I’m upset on Amy’s behalf with her saying she’s been travelling with the Doctor for so long and how he’s her best friend when it really feels like he doesn’t seem to like any of them much. It feels like he literally never tells them what he’s going to do, and I know the Doctor sometimes does that, especially in a time crunch, but I feel like he used to interact with his companions a lot more? I mean bouncing ideas back and forth with them, but that mutual camaraderie feels nonexistent now.

The River: I think I could have tolerated River in small doses like I did in S5 and even with some of the things I didn’t like last episode, but this episode immediately pushed me into anti River territory. Why oh why does she have to be some super badass knowledgeable person who apparently just breaks out of prison whenever she wants and does whatever she wants all the time?? I actually rolled my eyes when she was scanning the astronaut suit and telling the Doctor everything about it or when she apparently gets to pilot the Doctor’s TARDIS, why wouldn’t the Doctor not do those things himself?? And shooting while twirling around? Enough said. I’m starting to wish instead of River as a character they’d instead given some of her lines to the Doctor so he could actually explain to his companions and have rapport with them, and maybe pass some of her character traits to Amy if Moffat is determined to have a super bad ass person in the show. Because all I feel is like none of the characters are being developed to their full potential, and they’re all half baked ideas.

The Worst: The nano recorder thing with Amy talking from a dark place while they hear her is literally the same thing as Miss Evangelina in The Library two parter (I am seeing so much of Moffat’s themes just repeating). Rory giving a sweet speech about how Amy knows he’s always going to find her and then her calling out for the Doctor? Ouch. Then Amy with the I love you situation. Please no, just no. We’re supposed to think, along with Rory, that it’s the Doctor then it’s really Rory in the end. Ugh. I thought we left that behind in S5  😒 😒 and it doesn’t even make sense that she would say “to tell you properly” because they’re married by this point she’s told him so many times and “falling out of the sky” is the figure of speech she decided to use? I figured as his wife she’d know Rory is still feeling a bit insecure about her feelings for the Doctor (and wouldn’t use those words!), and honestly it’s quite sad that he still isn’t sure.

The Unresolved: Amy and Rory dying at the beginning...did we literally just not get an explanation as to how that was done? Maybe as we move forward... Woman with eyepatch what was that? I’ve been spoiled about River being Amy’s daughter, but I didn’t actually know anything else about how that came about so now I’m confused as to why Amy may or may not be pregnant and how the little girl (River?) is regenerating. If Amy’s photo was in her room why didn’t the girl call out to her mother, hmmm.... and if she was in the astronaut suit before idk if that means she’ll go back in it and in the future kill the Doctor? Because I think that’s been the insinuation in S5 if I’m remembering properly, that that’s what River’s supposed to be in prison for.

Overall I feel like with the Xmas special and this two parter I fell into a place where I liked the start and then was disappointed with the ending. I’m being so negative in this post, but I’m still trying to stay optimistic about the show. Maybe now that River is back in prison, Amy and Rory can get a little more development and I’ll see some episodes I enjoy all the way through.

[doverstar]

THERE WAS NO OTHER ENDING FOR ROSE and ya know what, I like to think the doctor thinks so too

I think he does too! I’m gonna talk about it, are you ready for me to talk about it? Are you ready for an essay-

I think the Doctor would agree that the ending Rose got—the one with Tentoo on Pete’s World—was the best possible fate for her. I’ll explain why, because I feel like it. First I’ll break down Rose’s most popular alternative-endings. Let’s start with Rose-stays-with-him-until-she-dies. That’s the one Rose decided on long before Canary Wharf. She planned on staying with the Time Lord until she physically couldn’t anymore. Forever.

First of all, that would be painful for the Doctor. He already said it. Watching Rose get shot, drowned, stabbed, sucked into a black hole, sacrificed for a remote planet’s civilization, poisoned, pulled into a void, atomized, eaten, possessed, run over, diseased, or ripped apart would be traumatic and terrible for the Doctor.

Watching Rose grow old and tired and then die would also be incredibly painful. He might try to prolong her life in alien ways, even in medical ways, but then she’s subjected to an unnatural, un-human existence until death claims her. Making a naturally-decaying body stick around and eke out another year, another hour, another century while he watches, exactly the same as ever. Yikes. Not fun for either of them. No thank you. He was against that ending with good reason.

Now, this ending where Rose stays with him until she dies? It is no less an emotional commitment to make than the one every married couple on Earth, every affectionate relationship on Earth, makes. Friends, family, spouses. You will lose them. You have to decide to love them knowing that.

The Doctor does love Rose, but he can’t tell her or admit it aloud because to do that would be facing a reality he’s not willing to face: he loves something he will inevitably lose. The old coward will not do it.

I believe that if Rose wanted to stay with him until she died, knowing she has a shorter lifespan but committing to holding his hand until she could not hold it anymore because he needs that and she can give it to him, and she knows he loves her back—100% yes girl, go for it. That is good and right and fine and she should be allowed to make that commitment. That’s love. That’s literal marriage vows. That’s unconditional, unwavering, and Rose is the first companion in 60 years of TARDIS passengers to love him like that. And he knows it. And it’s scary. But. Even in marriage, that is a commitment that has to be agreed upon by both parties. And the Doctor did not agree. The Doctor, selfish old man, is too afraid. He doesn’t want to watch Rose die, and he tried to explain that to her without confessing anything, and she heard him and tried to explain to him that she decided he would always have her if she had anything to say about it, not for her sake, but for his. (“Who’s gonna hold his hand now?” “I made my choice a long time ago and I’m never gonna leave you.” “Forever.”)

Now. That’s the first option for an alternate ending for Rose. She stays with him as a mortal and he has to watch her die, and they either dance around expressing their love in an unspoken, inexplicit way until he loses her and it’s agony, or they jump in with both feet and enjoy the time they have left, however many days Rose has before death, with the knowledge and understanding that he will outlive her, which is agony but with kissing. Still not 100% happy because one of them is, well, in agony. With a significantly long life stretched out ahead of him to spend as a widower. And it would fundamentally change the nature of a 60-year-old television show, but that’s another Ask for another time. Next is the Immortal!Rose AU, or the Bad Wolf AU. Personally, I don’t care for this AU (though I get the appeal and I do sometimes wish it could be that way). I used to think it was a good idea, and sometimes it's still sweet and I can see it, but the older I got, the more I disagreed with it. Because really, it doesn’t work. The AU’s idea—or its most popular explanation—is that Rose, by absorbing the Time Vortex and looking into the heart of the TARDIS in The Parting of the Ways, retained one slice of her godlike powers: she became immortal. Even after the Doctor kissed her and took the Vortex away to save her. The most-used version of this is that neither Rose nor the Doctor are aware that Rose was left with immortality until Tentoo ages and she doesn’t, or her family ages and she doesn’t.

The reason why I don’t think the Doctor would ultimately want this ending for Rose? The Doctor himself would not recommend immortality. He knows it’s ultimately a devastating existence. He himself has a ridiculously-long lifespan. Time Lords are supposed to only have a certain number of regenerations, but each regeneration, if left to age naturally, lives a long freaking time. (With the new Timeless Child nonsense, who knows, apparently the Doctor exclusively is immortal? I pretend I do not see it.) And then if they should die of old age, they regenerate and another chapter of life begins. So the Doctor knows what it’s like to essentially be immortal. And he doesn’t like it. He doesn’t like watching his friends die around him. He doesn’t like knowing he will outlive the people and places he cares about. He hates it. “Immortality is everybody else dying.” “In the end you just get tired. Tired of the struggle. Tired of losing everyone that matters to you, tired of watching everything turn to dust.” That last line, the Lazarus speech, sounds familiar because it’s something similar, interestingly, to what Rose said when she was the Bad Wolf. “Everything comes to dust.” Immortality is not a blessing. Immortality is absolutely a curse, and the show treats it like a curse. It’s not just never dying. Immortality is being alone and being unnatural. It’s bad. It’s not a good thing. If you were a 100% perfect person with a 100% perfect memory, it might be doable, but it’s not an easy existence. It sounds awful actually. We saw it with Ashildr (terrible idea). She’s miserable. She never really stops being miserable. Think about this: the Doctor is (kind of) immortal. He never stays in one place for too long, and he is careful to bring along far more mortal traveling companions wherever he goes. The Doctor once told Amy that he brought her with him because he can’t “see it” anymore (meaning the universe and its value), but he brings Amy and others with him because they can see it. “And when you see it, I see it.” What is everyone always telling him? Don’t travel alone. Not because he’s lonely—even though he totally is. It’s because when he is alone, the Doctor becomes a hazard, not a help. He starts to feel like he can do whatever he wants. I mean, think about it. He starts to feel like his judgement is infallible, because he’s basically a god, isn’t he? But no one should have that much power. It takes a lot to kill him, he’s a genius, and he has a time-and-space machine. What can’t he do? After a long, long, long time of living and being alone, essentially in an echo chamber with himself, the Doctor would lose empathy and compassion and humility just like anyone else. Because he’s not perfect. But he brings friends along to remind him he can stop now. To remind him we don’t walk away. To remind him that the universe has life in it that is worth saving, and that there is such a thing as right and wrong, and that he is not God, and that there is no such thing as little people. 900 years of time and space and he’s never met anybody who wasn’t important before. He needs his friends to hold him to the mark.

So—the Doctor knows that being immortal basically means that in the end you’ll see everything come to dust. If you’re not careful, you won’t be you anymore. And nothing and no one else will be themselves to you, either. You will lose the people/places you care about, and you will be alone, and you will stop caring. And then not only will you be wretched, you’ll be dangerous. Someone who doesn’t care is dangerous. It’s Ted Bundy. It’s evil. But it’s okay, I hear you saying. If they had each other, he would always have someone to hold him to the mark! Well - yes and then no - Think about Rose. Rose Tyler is a young human woman with so much empathy and sympathy. She is “so human”, in the Doctor’s own words. She is imperfect, and selfish, and petty, and easily angry and easily jealous. She is also impossibly compassionate, even towards the most ruthless murderous species. She’s kind and generous and brave and has a strong sense of justice. She’s often very selfless and very loving. Especially toward the Doctor. She values doing the right thing. A lot of those traits are found in the Doctor’s other friends (he chooses them with great care). But Rose is different. The Doctor is in love with Rose. And Rose is a lot of ‘firsts’ for Doctor Who. She’s the first companion to inspire change in a Dalek. She’s the first companion to tell him she’s in love with him. (Jo loved him, Sarah Jane loved him, Grace loved him, yes I know there were others.) She’s the first companion to be a real, proper onscreen equal to the Doctor, and not in a She’s Basically the Doctor But A Girl way, like Clara Oswald tried to be. She is not his assistant, his carer, his associate, his sidekick, his adoptive daughter, adoptive little sister, biological granddaughter, or his partner. Not to be Emily Bronte, but these two characters have the same heart. Like recognized like and fell in love. Perfect complementation. That is also another Ask for another time –

RTD said that Rose “humans [the Doctor] and he Time Lords her”. He brings out the courage and confidence in her that makes her so exceptional as a human, things that turn her into a hero, things she already had in her that the Doctor pulled forward. In turn, she brings out the compassion and humility in him that makes him a hero instead of a villain, things he always had in him that she pulled forward, adding humanity which would otherwise be easy for him to cast off.

But she can’t human him if she isn’t human anymore.

The things that make Rose an exceptional mortal would no longer be exceptional if she were immortal. The good traits would be a duty to retain, and the bad traits would be a poison to keep at bay. Because Rose is on a different level when it comes to her relationship with the Doctor, she could, for a time, help hold him to the mark. They would be exactly as we saw them in the show—passing by, helping out, saving the day, loving one another, making one another better. And then after eons go by, they would be each other’s echo chamber. Rose is the Doctor’s equal? Given eternity to stagnate in, what was once a strength would quickly become a weakness. Rose is not perfect and the Doctor is not perfect. Rose would not always be able to “see it” anymore either, even with the Doctor there. Same goes for him. They might be together forever, but Rose would be watching her mother, father, brother, friends, and family all age and die. She would hate that. But it would be okay because she has the Doctor, right? I agree with that. They have one another. So they’re never alone. That’s good. But Rose would not be a Time Lord. She’d be an immortal human. Ashildr 2.0, finite memory in an infinite body. She’d become detached, unable to appreciate the universe, and she’d stop investing in mortal relationships because they all end eventually. All she’d have would be the Doctor—and that’s wonderful, but after a while it would stop being a special thing that they have one another. Don’t look at me like that; it would. Okay, no – no - even if the Bad Wolf powers allowed Rose to have an infinite memory to go with her infinite body, fine, let’s say they did, she and the Doctor would still end up with “a backyard” as Eleven called it.

And eventually they would both think that the two of them, together, have the best judgement in the universe and should be treated as gods, and they will stop caring (except about each other, which doesn’t sound good for all the little people who are not part of that relationship, can you say unhealthy?). Or else they will become enemies, the way the Master and the Doctor became enemies. Or they won’t be able to travel with one another indefinitely, the way Ashildr, the Rani, River, Clara, and Romana can’t travel with the Doctor indefinitely. Because it would become toxic for everyone. And they would be back to being miserable, wouldn’t they?

(And – again -  let me finish beating this tiny horse here: if you think Rose Tyler would heal fairly quickly - say, ten centuries in - and warm up to the reality that she has outlived other humans because she is really no longer human, we aren’t thinking of the same Rose Tyler.)

The Doctor would not wish the curse of the Time Lords on anybody, especially not the woman he loves. He would not agree that immortality is the happiest ending for Rose, or even for himself and Rose. There’s a very real chance that immortality would ruin Rose. He wouldn’t do that to her. He loves her.

And here we go, here’s my freaking point - The Doctor loves Rose. So he would give her what she wants, even if it means sacrificing what he wants. Putting her needs before his own. That’s love. She knows that; she was trying to do that for him the whole time!

But what does Rose want? Adventure in the great wide somewhere? No. Rose wants love. Rose wants the assurance of real, true love. Rose wants to love and be loved. And when she finds that, she is darn good at it, and she will do her best to keep it. AND THAT IS ANOTHER ASK FOR ANOTHER TIME, HOOOO BOY DON’T POKE ME- The Doctor cannot give Rose what she wants using himself, or even the thing that will make him happy too, for a time—because to outlive her would be absolutely terrible, and they both know it, and because he will not put her through the curse of immortality. (She doesn’t want to live forever anyway.)

But he can give her what she wants in the form of Tentoo. Are you kidding me? A 100% exact copy of the Doctor? The same face, same mannerisms, same hair? All the memories of loving her and longing for her in his head? And he only has one heart? He’ll grow old at the same time as Rose does? Plus, hi, he actually was born in mini wartime and needs the very influence Rose provided for his ninth self? Come on. What else was he going to do? Of course the Doctor and Tentoo gave her this chance. When Rose asks him “What was the last thing you said to me?” The Doctor could have said “I love you”. He was going to say it. It is canon that he was going to say that he loved her if the connection hadn’t been severed the first time. And for him to say it then, they both knew, would have been all Rose needed to hear. She would have gone with him and Donna and died. Or gone with him and Donna and become immortal somehow, hey I hear there are these random Mire repair kits kicking around out there in the universe, they make people immortal, funny we never saw them before now, I hate you Moffat- But he didn’t say it. He said “I said ‘Rose Tyler’.” And she gives him one more chance to say it. “How was that sentence gonna end?” “Does it need saying?” Well, no, it doesn’t. We’re not asking you to confirm it. She’s not asking you to confirm it. It never needed saying. You both knew it was love. We knew it was love. A hundred times over, it was love on display.

But she is asking him to make a choice—and he chooses to let her go because he loves her.

It’s not a question of love. They give each other a chance, both of them. Don’t make the mistake of thinking Rose had no choice. She asked both of those Doctors to tell her they loved her, and she chose the one that said it out loud, after learning her options. She learned one of them would grow old and was offering to spend forever with her if she wanted. She learned that one of them was genuinely choosing not to say he loved her on purpose.  She made an informed decision. (Yes, she ran after the TARDIS when it left. Wouldn’t you?) The Doctor would agree that Tentoo is the best ending for Rose. Tentoo would agree (because he is the Doctor, and bonus, he gets to have Rose Tyler). Because this, this ending where she gets Tentoo, which is our fancy term for differentiating between two versions of exactly the same man, don’t go there with me-

This ending where she gets Tentoo is genuinely what she always wanted. She didn’t want to live forever. She didn’t want a boring life, but she didn’t desperately want adventure over all else. She wanted love. That’s an adventure anyway. Love. And she loved the Doctor. And she got to have the Doctor, and not lose him, or watch him lose her. And the Doctor, our full Time Lord Doctor, had the assurance of knowing that he did the best he could do for the woman he loved.

(Plus, because yes please, in an official deleted scene which has been confirmed to be intended as canon, Tentoo and Rose have a chunk of TARDIS coral and are growing their own, so they get to see the universe too, so you can’t even complain that all is not as it should be in that sense.) It is sad, because the full Time Lord has to carry on without her (that’s how the story always goes for him, and it should be because without loving and losing, an immortal alien will not have the periodic wake-up call he needs to remember that there is value in people and in relationships and in caring), and it’s sad because Rose won’t see him again, and it’s sad because we won’t really see Rose again. But for her, it is the best ending. It is the kindest, fairest ending. And I think the Doctor would agree.

[booiiee]

Brooklyn Baby

Pairing: Lee Jaehyun (Hyunjae) × Female Reader

Tags: Fluff, Hyunjae is WHIPPED, They bicker- a LOT, they love each other so much, it's pathetic actually, eventual smut (duh), separate tags and warnings for smut in the smut chapter. MINORS DNI!!

For @un-love 🩷🩷

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Chapter 1

It's summer of 2024 you've just shifted your whole life to Brooklyn New York, a decision that you and your friends and family had to all collectively take, Brooklyn is expensive and people are rude sometimes but for the first time you're building your life

You love your job, not a lot of therapist can say that specially with how taxing the job can be, but you really love your job, you're one of the most loved therapist at Brooklyn's biggest hospital NewYork-Presbyterian Brooklyn Methodist Hospital (yes i googled that) and let's just say you earn enough to have an entire studio apartment to yourself, something that you've come to realize, you love.

Your job is many things but it is not a job where you have a lot of free time, it might even be busier than working at a fashion magazine like your friend Daisy does,some days she is the only reminder of your life back in your home country, and your love for kpop and a certain kpop idol- Lee Jaehyun from The Boyz.

“Miss Rose, the director wants to see you.” your thoughts were interrupted by your assistant Liz- or Elizabeth, informing you of your rather sudden meeting with the director. Now the old Jasmine would absolutely lose it over being called by the director but moving to a place like Brooklyn from India has made you indifferent to these small anxiety triggering things.

To say that you were surprised would be the understatement of the century. The director had assigned you a patient of your busy (lazy) colleague, some VIP, whose case was “of utmost importance” to the hospital, which in itself was making you angry as if one life was worth more than the other. Nonetheless, you were gonna treat this patient like any other patient.

“Hi, Mr. Eric? I am Dr. Rose. I am taking over your case as of today, as informed. Please follow me this way” you introduce yourself to a tall man with freshly dyed brunette hair with a mask. He must be some high profile person given the way he was avoiding the stares from people.

R- You can keep the mask on until you feel comfortable to talk without them, our session can happen without you having to show your face.

E- Oh that is a relief thank you doctor.

R- So tell me Eric, what do you love doing when you are the most stressed and when you have a lot of leisure time?

E- Oh I thought you’d start with asking me my sickness

R- You say sickness like it is a bad thing

E- Is it not?

R- Well being sick is not great but it is not something derogatory.

*No one is born a patient and no one stays a patient till the end*.

*(From Daily dose of Sunshine)

As far as the questions go, if you’d rather me start with discussing your diagnosis, i am happy to do so

E- No its…its okay we can do your method.

I am skipping the actual therapy part because I am neither a licensed therapist nor a psych student to be writing that.

The 3 weeks you were assigned Eric’s case you found that against your better judgment, you guys were becoming almost friends, which is to say was weird in more ways than one. You were his therapist and you did not know what he looked like. You never asked him to take off his mask. He never mentioned why he prefers to wear one. So you decided you’d start and stay away from him in the hospital corridors when you often bump into each other after his session with your colleague.

E- I know we are not supposed to be friends and all that protocol, but you have really helped me in ways i could never explain and i am not the best person when it comes to gifts but i asked my friend j and he suggested this since you like to read- i've seen all those books in your office

Your gasp was audible to not only Eric but a few staff around as he pulled out a blue box. Eric quickly pulled you aside and for the first time, took off his mask.

R- You’re THE Eric?????

E- I mean I dont really say that about myself but i think you know me? Which is even better, so you know that i can afford this and im not robbing a bank for this gift, which also is not the case cause J bought this really-

R- Wait, I WILL not accept that, and give me a minute Wow! okay.

Eric, hi, I love your music and you'd understand when i say how weird this is to know my patient is a member of the group i love

E- aww doc you’re a fan. That makes me wanna be your friend even moore

R- Yeah, we’re gonna…we’ll talk about that later.

Wait, you're Eric from TBZ, so your friend J who often drops you to your session, the one who bought this SUPER EXPENSIVE gift, is J, Jaehyun? As in, Lee Jaehyun?

E- Yup you got that right! The one and only! In Fact he is on his way up, now that you’ve seen me, we can all talk comfortably

R- Oh No… no no, NO.

E- But why? Do you not like Hyunjae? *Gasp* Are you a hyunjae antiii??

R- WHAT???? NO! I could never hate my Hyunjae! not in this lifetime for suree!!!

“Well that’s good to know, Miss Rose”

You could identify that voice in a room full of noisy people, let alone the silence of the corridor, so you had no choice but to tun around and see a curly haired masked man smiling at you. Oh this is not good for your job.

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Chapter 2 will be posted super soon!!

[lem-de-lemon]

English: (Translate)

I had already uploaded one of these on Amino, but it was just Elijah. This is a second, less literal version of a "Reverse AU"?

So...

Sydney Sargent: The Architect.

Sydney is a nurse's aide at Camp Here & There, Lucille saved him when he was a child and despite his difficulties he dedicated his life to being useful to her and staying by his best friend's side keeping him safe. He is affectionate although somewhat distracted so he can sometimes seem distant, but he does not stop loving others. He spends his days mostly in his office recording his progress on a "project" on cassettes and as a hobby he also likes to take care of a small garden of wild plants. He has a special interest in fungi so part of his library is about them. He suspects that he may be ill, but he has not said anything about it.

Jedidiah Martin: The Muse

Nurse at Camp Here & There. He has a good heart, but the children run away from him despite his attempts to help the other camp counselors. He is in charge of giving the announcements in the camp, he doesn't seem to be doing too badly. For some reason he seems to be very interested in clocks, he has a small collection of several of them in different and extravagant designs from around the world. Lately he feels watched, he is not very religious but he claims to be persecuted by a guy with a goat mask (The others don't know whether to believe him or not and those who do have very strange theories about satanic cults. Sydney doesn't have an opinion on that , in fact he seems a little uncomfortable and prefers to avoid the topic.) He has a slight allergy to rabbits.

(Up and) Adam: A stranger in the woods.

He was once a psychology student, but one day he disappeared in the woods and no one cared enough to go find him. He has a strange obsession with Jedidiah Martin, he believes she may be the solution to his problems. He doesn't like Sydney, but he has offered Jedidiah sessions to talk about him (Gaslight?). He's weird. When he takes off his mask he makes the others feel sleepy, sometimes it amuses him to wake Jedidiah up by making a lot of noise with his tambourine. Probably cannibal. "Bone Apple Teeth"

Elijah Volkov: A demon with a PhD.

A "nice" nurse demon, he walks around in the dreams of others (especially Jedidiah and Sydney) causing them to have quite strange nightmares. He wears part of a pink suit that would not at all give you the feeling that you were talking to a doctor. Why study medicine? He really isn't sure, maybe he wanted to understand the camp nurses a little more, maybe he was bored or maybe he just finds it funny to correct others so they call him "Dr." He has a strange relationship with Sydney, possibly it has to do with his medical condition or why Jedidiah went from looking like a dead person overnight to looking better than ever when they were kids. He has a strange taste with elephants, he would put stickers of them in other people's notebooks and the others would find them on random pages everywhere.

Español: (Lengua nativa)

Ya había subido uno de éstos en Amino, pero solo era Elijah. Esta es una segunda versión menos literal de un "AU Reverse"?

Asíque...

Sydney Sargent: El arquitecto.

Sydney es un ayudante de enfermería en Camp Here & There, Lucille lo salvó cuando era un niño y a pesar de las dificultades dedicó su vida a serle útil y permanecer al lado de su mejor amigo manteniéndolo a salvo. Es cariñoso aunque algo distraido por lo que aveces puede verse distante, pero no deja de amar a los demás. Pasa sus días mayormente en su oficina grabando sus avances sobre un "proyecto" en cassettes y como pasatiempo a parte le gusta cuidar de un pequeño jardín de plantas silvestres. Tiene un interés especial en los hongos por lo que parte de su biblioteca trata sobre ellos. Se sospecha que pueda estar enfermo, pero no ha dicho nada al respecto.

Jedidiah Martin: La Musa

Enfermero en Camp Here & There. Tiene un buen corazón, pero los niños huyen de él a pesar de sus intentos por ayudar a los demás consejeros del campamento. Es el encargado de dar los anuncios en el campamento, no parece irle mal. Por alguna razón parece interesarle muchos los relojes, tiene una pequeña colección de varios de ellos en diferentes y extravagantes diseños del mundo. Últimamente se siente observado, no es muy religioso pero dice ser perseguido por un sujeto con máscara de cabra (Los demás no saben si creerle o no y los que si lo hacen tienen teorías muy raras sobre cultos satánicos. Sydney no tiene una opinión sobre eso, de hecho parece algo incómodo y prefiere evitar el tema.) Tiene una leve alergia a los conejos.

(Up and) Adam: Un extraño en el bosque.

Alguna vez fué un estudiante de psicología, pero un día desapareció en el bosque y a nadie le importó lo suficiente para ir por él. Tiene una extraña obsesión con Jedidiah Martin, cree que pueda ser la solución a sus problemas. No le gusta Sydney, pero le ha ofrecido a Jedidiah tener sesiones para hablar sobre él (¿Gaslight?). Es... extraño. Cuando se quita la máscara provoca que los demás se sientan somnolientos, aveces le divierte despertar a Jedidiah haciendo mucho ruido con su pandereta. Probablemente caníbal. "Bone Apple Teeth"

Elijah Volkov: Un demonio con doctorado.

Un "simpático" demonio enfermero, se pasea en los sueños de los demás (Especialmente Jedidiah y Sydney) provocandoles pesadillas bastante extrañas. Porta parte de un traje rosa que para nada te daría la sensación de estar hablando con un doctor. ¿Porqué estudiar medicina? Realmente no está seguro, quizás queria enteneder un poco más a los enfermeros del campamento, quizás estaba oburrido o quizás simplemente encuentra divertido corregir a los demás para quelo llamen "Dr". Tiene una relación extraña con Sydney, posiblemente tenga que ver con su condición médica o porqué de la noche a la mañana Jedidiah pasó de verse como un muerto a estar mejor que nunca cuando eran niños. Tiene una extraña afición con los elefantes, pagaría stickers de ellos en los cuadernos de los demás y los demás los encontrarían en páginas random por todoa lados.

[cuprohastes]

But do they dance?

The nice thing about Garf and Un-Named male was how well they integrated with everyone on The Station.

For example, when Garf spotted Dave the Human sneaking up on his counterpart, the other Dave The Human, with an audio probe, she flashed him some querulous colours and hunkered down alongside to see what was up instead of giving the game away.

Dave put a finger to his lips and Un-Named male, poking his head out of Garf's pouch copied him.

The Tsin known as Dave the Human hadn't spotted them, or was choosing not to, and human Dave pointed the audio probe at her and gently adjusted the controls for pitch shift.

Very quietly, Garf could hear a whistling, tweeting sound, quite rhythmic, shifting around, much to Dave's evident delight.

It ended with a startled squeep, and Dave The Human looked back at them.

"What are you three up to?" She demanded.

Dave cackled and waved the audio probe. "Listening to you sing!" He said.

The Tsin's ears twisted and she swayed slightly. "… what about it?"

"Humans can't hear it - Too high frequency." Dave explained.

"I hadn't heard about it either" said Garf.

Un-Named said "Grak!"

"What do you mean you knew?"

"Graaak."

"Oh, well I haven't read that in a while. Huh. Tsin sing all the time?"

"Even more than humans" said Dave The Human. "But it's not words, just… y'know." And put her big hands up on her forehead and wiggled her claws. "Like an Atrax'gkk'kk'tk'gk".

"Huh. Said Garf, colours rippling across the patch of colour display skin on her face, her Atrix Atrax'gkk'kk'tk'gk (Name displaying aspect of the thoughtful ones) - a deliciously archaic word. Garf was impressed that Dave even knew it.

Human Dave shook his head. "Don't look at me, I'd need practice to say that."

Tsin Dave tipped her head side to side. "I don't think Atrix sing?"

Garf said "Mm. Just not a thing we do. We do colour harmonies but thats a group thing, you have to be able to see each other. We don't do it on our own, the way Humans and Tsin do."

Tsin Dave rubbed her chin. "Yeah it's a subconcious thing. We're always singing. It's how we co-ordinate and know where people are." Human Dave wondered if that was a result of Tsin quad-gender biology and very carefully didn't mention chickens.

"Is that why Humans sing?" Asked Garf.

Dave the human, scratched his chin and pondered. "I mean it can be? We do social singing, for sure. But we also sing on our own, or listen to other people when nobody is about. But sometimes yeah… we have special songs for groups… for work or just for socialness.

Dave The Human looked fascinated. "What does a work song sound like?"

Garf looked on while Dave the Human dug out his tablet, cued up a bizarre sound and launched into a rhythmic method of speech, which appeared to be regarding a sailor who was inebriated, and querying what should be done with the individual, while also suggesting various actions that seemed nonsensical, dangerous or inadvisable.

Dave The Human was very amused by this and joined in though her low-tones that she used for talking to Atrix and Humans weren't as easyfor he to sing with, but she assured them both that it was a lot easier to whistle along with.

"What about social music?" She asked.

Dave pulled up an old, old video. It was a field of dusty red with an odd white noise. With a start, Garf realised it was so many humans that they appeared to be a field of flowers

Even the Tsin looked a little shaken by how many humans could sing together.

"What are they doing? They're moving together… how are they doing that?"

"What… Dancing? It's just… wait. How do you not know about dancing?"

Garf and Dave The Human looked blank.

Dave the Human pulled up some examples. "Is that just a human thing?" Asked Garf with fascination.

Dave pondered that. "Nnno…" he replied and found some examples. Dogs, cows, Elephants swaying in time. Birds bopping to the beat, or doing display dances. Garf, Doctorate in Human studies could smell another paper to be published. Will humans dance with anything?

Two days later, after some research, the common area was ambushed by one (1) large Atrix, and one (1) small Atrix, with audio equipment and a selection of songs deemed danceable by Dave a well known example of a human and, one (1) Tsin.

They taped off a square, which Dave The Human occupied, and immediately began to awkwardly dance to the music.

Admittedly Dave The Human wasn't dancing so much as repeating some moves she'd learned.

This resulted in bemused stares until Garf called: "Doing a study, join in!"

And thusly having been given the heads up that this was not a display but some sort of group effort, for the first time in history, a Tsin danced and led a group of humans in a square dance, on a small space station, around an alien world.

Only one mystery remained to Garf: Where did Cotton Eyed Joe come from, and where did he go?

Two days after that, Alice in the Astronomy lab found their ST4 floor cleaner lurking, gently customised with springy arms holding fuzzy pom-poms. It of course already had a face drawn on and a pair of stick-on googly eyes.

"What's up, BB-Y?"a she asked and the ST4 lit it's little lights up and beepled a happy tune, it's new arms waving as it twisted side to side and moved backward and forward.

Alice, stared, laughed, and then started to clap along - within moments she was dancing along with ST4 BB-Y, quietly recorded for posterity.

Un-Named male went viral on the website Little Guys being Weird Little Guys with compilation of him getting humans to dance.

"All in all," said Dave the Human, "It was lot of fun, and fairly harmless. "Humdance" is a bit of an exercise fad on Atrix, though I believe the Tsin may wipe us all from existence now we've provided them with several new earworms."

Dave The Human looked up form where she was humming "Put a birdhouse in your soul" and hissed, much to Dave's delight.

[all-eyes-lead-to-the-truth]

All Eyes Lead to the Truth | Unruhe (4x04)

TW: CSA

The night he lost his sister was the first time he felt the howlers. When he opened the bathroom door and saw her seizing in the tub, he felt their hands grip his throat. In his rush to get to her, he tripped over the power cord that was running across the floor and over the lip of the tub. He tried to catch himself against the porcelain, but it caused some of the water to slosh onto his skin. The water burned and he felt a stabbing sensation behind his eyes. That’s when they entered his body, causing him to fly back as the black, smoky howlers danced around him in a thick, suffocating plume — that’s when they started taunting him.

You should have saved her.

His father said she was a Jezebel with a guilty conscience.

His Freud-loving doctors said suicide was common after paternal sexual abuse.

His howlers said it was all his fault.

The howlers never slurred their words and he never needed an appointment to hear what they had to say.

***

Sometimes it felt like he spent every day resisting their efforts to drag him to hell. He knows other people can hear them… can see them. His skin stung from their claws digging into his flesh. He can’t shake them no matter what he does. Maybe they’re a part of him by now, maybe they always were.

After all, if it was really just “schizophrenia” then why did his father have them too?

“I don’t know why I do the things I do, Gerry.”

“She looked so pretty… just like her mama used to.”

“Something inside me just snapped. I had to show her what her life of sin would lead her to. If she wanted to act like a woman, I needed to treat her like one.”

He usually only talked about his howlers after a few drinks, but Gerry could see the regret in his eyes. Howlers could be very persuasive, especially when it was impossible to drown out their voices.

Gerry knew the howlers were why his father would go into her room every night. He knew that was the only reason why a father would lust after their daughter, why a man would seek release in a child.

You can save him.

He raped her.

He liked it.

Avenge her.

It was the howlers that told him where to find the axe.

***

When he was in the institution, his roommate told him all about Rosemary Kennedy. An icepick to the corner of her eyes, and she became a new person. She went from troubled to happy in a moment. That’s what he wanted.

Gerry thinks that if he could just forget those memories, his life would be better. He loved his sister, not as much as Father did, but he got sad every time he thought of her. He just wanted to savor the happy memories of her singing around the house with her nightgown trailing behind her.

But he couldn’t forget. He was plagued with unrest. It wasn’t until he saw that first troubled young woman that he realized if he couldn’t save his sister, he could save other women who were suffering. 

He wished he had thought of the twilight sleep before the first one, maybe then she wouldn’t have been so scared. When the metal of his tool caught on the skin of her bottom eyelid while he pulled the rod out, she let out a guttural groan that sounded like a strangled scream.

“Wie fühlen Sie sich?”

Her attention locked onto him, but all the earlier fear was replaced with something that looked like contentment. Her mouth opened and closed like she was going to say something but forgot what it was before she could find the words.

Trying again, he asked: “How do you feel?”

“Adjuh-juh,” she slurred, glassy eyes looking around the room.

He waited, allowing her a moment to collect her thoughts. When she blinked, it looked like a strained effort, but she didn’t seem bothered, even as the movement caused little rivulets of blood to trail down her cheeks and onto the fabric of her nightgown. Her head lolled onto her shoulder, and the suddenness of it made her lips quirk into a small smile.

You saved her.

“Für Sie wird es keine Unruhe mehr geben,” he reassured.

She looked up at him, blinking slowly. “U-un-ru-”

***

His face twitched and he closed his eyes shut until the howlers faded against his eyelids, floating into a familiar face before laughing at him.

They’d been getting louder. He spent so much time trying to forget, but this FBI woman and her partner were only egging the howlers on. 

“Gerry, help!”

“Daddy, stop!”

“It’ll only hurt for a second, baby.”

The taste of iron in his mouth made him cringe as he soothed the bite mark on his inner lip with his tongue. He had to do this. He needed to save enough women to make up for all the times he pretended he couldn’t hear what was happening on the other side of the wall.

Gerry knew she needed his help the moment they met. There was a howler inside of her head — a black mass invading her body and mind.

“Aufhören! Ich habe keine Unruhe. Ich habe keine Unruhe. Ich brauche nicht gerettet zu werden,” the woman pled.

She doesn’t know.

“Yes you do. Everybody does, but especially you,” he stated firmly.

Ihre Unruhe bringt sie um.

Sie liegt im Sterben.

For the other women, he always feared he might make a mistake and end up hurting them, but she was different. Not because she had his sister’s eyes or because she could speak in his father’s tongue, but because he’d never seen such malignant, cruel howlers. She may not be able to hear them, but she was being consumed from the inside out. He needed to help her before it was too late.

Read the rest of All Eyes Lead to the Truth on Archive of Our Own

@gaycrouton

[grae-98]

Treatment

Chapter 7

Set between 1880-1890, You have been feeling and acting off. After visiting the doctor's he sends you off to stay in Pelican Town where you are set to receive treatment for your condition. Upon arrival you learn the doctor administering these treatments is better than you think.

Harvey/ unnamed afab!reader

2nd pov

about 3.5k

trigger warnings: reader is diagnosed with hysteria, mentions of depression, cheating/ adultery, doctor/ patient relationship, mentions of infertility

smut tags: Again no smut

notes: i do have this posted on ao3 if you'd prefer to read it there.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Hours after returning to your home you are left with your thoughts. Lying in the once truly comforting sheets your mind felt fridged. The evening felt as though it had lasted a lifetime, causing you to retire early to your bed. Haley gave you a look of knowing as if she felt your pain and sadness, but you would think that it may be concerning the variety of information presented before you just today. Before she had left for the night to return to her own home, she asked you once again if you would be truly okay once she had left.

 You look through the darkness to find the swirling grey fuzz filling your vision. You consider every option. There is to go home and act as though nothing has changed. Yes, you knew of the adultery of your husband; however, that was your husband, and you were obligated to do everything in your power to make things right with him. A second option is to stay here. Be here in Pelican Town. Be happy for a time. Feel completely happy for once since you were a child. Apologize to Harvey and admit that you were acting irrationally and beseech his forgiveness.

‘Why on this Earth would I beg him for forgiveness? He has done wrong to me, and I should feel no way indebted to him.’  

Raging thoughts attempting to be shifted to the sides you lift your hand from beneath your comforter. Tracing shapes within the muddled haze as though it might help you fill out an answer. Suddenly an idea comes upon you however you must rest now and dwell on it come tomorrow.

Forcing your thoughts to rest along with you proved to be more evil than anticipated. Crusted eyes pulled open suddenly as Haley pulled open your curtains. Groaning you motion to her to close them ever so slightly.

“What time is it?” You shift so you’re sitting up un the bed.

“8 o’clock ma’am. Usual time I wake you upon request.” Haley turns her body as to face you.

“Yes, Haley, good. I have not slept this poorly in many months.”

“Does it have anything to do with that has happened yesterday?”

“It has most everything to do with yesterday.”

“Yes, but I am to understand that you asked Robin to arrive early today to join you for a luncheon. Do you still want that?”

Groaning once more, “Yes, I suppose I did ask Robin for lunch, didn’t I?”

“No, actually you hadn’t. I just know you well enough that you would prefer Robin’s company for a lunch rather than dinner.”

“How could you have possibly guessed that?”

“I have been working for you for nearly a year now ma’am. I would like to believe that we know each other well by now.”

“Very good Haley, I am impressed. I like that you will think of me in such a sense as to know the best times to invite my guests. You have truly proven yourself as a lady’s maid. I thought I it was going to be a risk taking you on, but you have proved me very wrong and I am pleased to say that I am delighted for it.”

“Oh. Please do not believe that I have taken it upon myself to know when you should like to receive your visitors.” You laugh as she’s seemed to miss the compliment entirely.

“Haley it is not so deep as to be worried. I was making a point that sometimes you seem to know me better than I seem to know myself.” You stand from the bed and shiver from the coolness of your room. “Shall you get me dressed? I am in no mood for breakfast this morning.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

_

By 1 o’clock the day had pushed itself far enough to see a visit from Robin. She looks pleased to see you as she enters. Her red hair tied simply above her head shows that she had her daughter help her with her hair. The dress she wore looked as though she had only worn it to come here and impress you. As you scan the length of her dress, she seems anxious.

“Robin, how wonderful is it to finally see you and looking so wonderful at that!”

“Thank you, it has been too long since we have spent any time together. How have you been?” You smile as you walk her towards the drawing room with you. She leans in closer to speak in a hushed voice.

“How is your relationship with our fair doctor?” Robin asks as she removes her gloves to seat herself on the all too familiar couch.

You can hardly mask the look on your face as it twists with disgust before settling into a plain face. Taking the seat across from her, your mouth opens and closes twice before finally gritting the words through partially angered teeth.

“Robin, I do not wish to speak about him at this very moment. He and I are no longer.”

She looks at you tentatively before asking her question. “Do you mean to say that you are no longer receiving the treatments then?”

Giving a long sigh before looking down to your hands and then back to Robin. You look to her face and see that there is mild fascination twinged with worry. Her eyebrows partially pushed together while she waits for your response.

“That is correct. I am not and I will tell you about it soon. I need your advice on something else.” After you speak this one of the men you hear approach the room. Holding your hand up to Robin to signal a pause. You watch as the man comes and sets down the try before you thank him and resume the conversation.

“And what might that be?” She asks after settling back on the back rest.

Taking a longer pause you stare empty minded to the window. Eyes looking between the snow-covered pine to the colorless skies. “I am going to leave Pelican Town.”

“Ah…” She looks down to her cup sadly. “I see.”

“It is not a decision I have made lightly. After the knowledge that I have come to know I feel that it may be my only option. Part of the reason I have asked for you to see me today is that I seek your advice on bringing Haley along with me.”

“You wish to bring Haley?”

“Yes. I would like to think of us as nearly friends. She has more than proven herself quite the ladies’ maid.”

“Then I should congratulate you on finding such a person. What of her beau she had found herself?”

“I was hoping you could answer that for me. She had told me some time ago that she heard word that he was to propose to her ‘soon’, but that time has come and gone by weeks. You are far more in the know of what happens in the town itself.”

“Well…” She pauses and leans herself in to allow for a sense of secrecy, “I had heard that he might have thrown her over.”

“He hadn’t surely! When I went to town the day before yesterday she said that she was to visit him!”

“That is why I asked you. Thinking that she would have mentioned something to you, with you keeping her in your employ.”

“I should have like to think so but perhaps you and I have been deceived in her willingness to share her details, especially when it is in regard to this sort of matter.”

“I should say then for you to speak with her on this before you decide that you are to take her away to the city. Where are you set to go?”

“Another topic you have broached much too early into your visit. I was going to have us dine before getting to that.”

“Please, you must allow us to put this business first so we may dine in peace and minor contemplation.”

You laugh, “Yes, I suppose we must. I was to ask you to send a telegram to Mister Acunin for me. I do not wish to go into town, lest I run into Doctor Sullivan.”

“My, his title now. Things really must have taken a turn. I can make a trip out to town after I am completed with my duties tomorrow. What is it that you would like me to send?”

“I wish to ask for some sort of refuge. I must leave this town and I will not let myself go back to my husband.”

“Why? What has happened with your husband and the doctor that you must refuse the both of them?”

“I will make a terribly complicated matter as simple as I can.” Robin leans forward again as you speak much more hushed than previously.

“My husband has known that my treatment is completed and has found himself in business with a whorehouse. The doctor was complicit in my husbands’ doings and refused to me access to my medical information. To put it plainly.”

“I don’t even know what to say to that. Goodness, I couldn’t even imagine what you might be going through. Who else knows of this?”

“Aside from you?” You heave another sigh after taking a drink from your cup. “Doctor Sullivan, clearly, and Haley. Haley is the one who found the telegrams from the doctor to my husband that detailed my course of treatment. I would imagine that the Western Union operator knows just from the telegrams alone. Is that Pam who is employed there?”

“Yes, Pam is the one who works the telegraph in town. I will talk to her tomorrow to see what she may know if you would like for me to?”

“I would be grateful if you had. Robin, you are truly sent from the stars. I could never thank you enough for all that you have done for me since I’ve come to stay here. I should really ask for your servicing to this cottage for more additions. As a thank you I mean.”

Robin laughs. Reaching her arm across the table to settle her hand on yours. The warmth from her palm sinks into the top your hand. Looking to her face once more you look for any easily read emotion only to find she looks serious.

“You are my friend, and I am happy to help you in any way that you may need. No thanks nor are you at all inclined to feel indebted to me.”

“You are far too kind to me.”

“And at this very moment you are deserving of it.”

_

The lunch with Robin ends quicker than you would have liked. She links her now gloved hand in yours before she bids you farewell. Watching as she leaps onto her horse with such ease before setting off. You watch Robin through the window until you can no longer see her and all are left are fresh horse tracks in the snow. As you turn from the window you see the tea platter still set on the table. Letting out a defeated sigh you make your way to bring it to the kitchen yourself.

 The afternoon sets smoothly as usual. After the minor cleaning from the drawing room, you find yourself in your room to write in your diary. Usually, an evening activity but the thoughts racing through your mind warrant an entry. After speaking with Robin, you must find a way to get to Boston without your husband knowing you are back in the city. Scanning the script from last night’s entry and feeling the same fresh wound stab once more. The feeling of betrayal sits heavily on your stomach causing more bile to sit in your throat. Choking in a sharp breath you think of the possibilities.

Leaving the men here is optimally the best you can think of. They can’t go back to the big house because that will be a give-away that you are no longer in Pelican Town. Letting them leave could cause them trouble in one way or another and you don’t feel right to just fire them because you had decided to leave. Getting the train ticket will prove easy enough seeing as there is not really any reason for the purchase to get back to your husband. You worry the possibility of him keeping his eye on your from afar. That he has sent word for the ticket master to keep a watchful eye for you and send him word should you leave the town.

Being in Boston will be a whole separate issue once you arrive. Praying that the lawyer will aid you in your struggle is the main thing you are focused on. The voice in your mind speaks to itself as you worry.

But once arriving in the city what will I do? I have money, yes. I have forced this issue faster than Mr. Acunin or his associate might have planned for. I don’t even know how long divorce proceedings take! For god’s sake, get your act together before you give yourself an ulcer!

“Ma’am?” Haleys voice breaks you from your thoughts with a start. Gasping in shock and sitting straight against your writing desk, pen falling to the pages below.

“Yes? What is it? You frightened me terribly!”

“Apologies. I have no other way to say this but Doctor-“ You cut her off by standing suddenly. Chair scraping against the wooden floor.

“Send the doctor away I have no wish to speak to him.” Your tone turns from startled to irritated and angry in the fraction of a second. Haley wishing to be spared from your ire speaks with her hands in front of her.

“I tried that ma’am. He said that he knows that you are in and that he must speak with you.”

“Then tell him that I am sick or asleep or anything else that you can think of to keep him from my sight.”

“I said that you were asleep already.”

“And?”

“He said that he will wait and sat himself in the drawing room.”

“Surely he did.” Spitting your reply as you make haste towards the drawing room. Heavy footsteps clobber against the floorboards as you make your way down the stairs. Feet falling hard against the floor of the hall. As you approach the threshold your furious march ceases. You watch as the back of his head as he registers that it is you before making a sudden standing to whip in your direction.

You thought in this moment that you would be ferociously angry, bordering on violent. He pushed his way into your home after all that has happened. And yet when you look at him you see him. He is as miserable as you in this moment, his face shows it more than your own. His eyes were dark, and his hair messy as though he tried to piece himself together. Your anger melted into sadness upon seeing him. You felt as though the wooden floor you were standing upon was going to swallow you whole.

“Darling.” He speaks softly. Like his voice was trying to climb its way out of his throat but he forced it down.

You can hear Haley catch up behind you looking to her quickly as she gives you a tight-lipped smile. You willed your legs to move anywhere but where you were currently. The soles of your feet felt glued to the ground making you unable to move as you watch him take his first step towards you.

“Doctor Sullivan I am not receiving visitors at the moment. I am going to ask you to leave please.” You force your voice to be as even as possible. You had hoped it sounded harsh against his ears and prompted him to leave you.

“Please, I just need to explain to you what I was saying yesterday.” Harvey pleads to you as he walks closer to where you are standing. You watch each of his feet fall against the floor in a light pat as steps closer to you. Small steps as to not push any boarders.

“Will you let me speak with you? Privately.” Harvey continues his movement until he reaches only an arms distance, his eyes flicking to Haley then back to you. As you stare up at him chest heaving from the tightness of your dress mixed with the pace of which you arrived. You stopped breathing as he takes a final step forward. Harvey’s eyes meeting your own as he beseeches you.

“Please, my love, let me speak to you.” Haley gasps behind you and tugs the back of your dress. You pay her no mind as you continue to make eye contact with the doctor who now stands nearly brushing against you.

_

“My love? What does he mean by ‘my love’?” Haley rushes you into your room. Your shaking hands grip the post of your bed. You lungs are tight as you try to breathe.

“Get this thing off of me!” You yell as you begin to claw your dress in attempt to free you from the heavy winter wool. Haley comes to your aid attempting to loosen the ties of your bodice.

“Do not dodge me! What changed that he calls you my love?” Haley sounds angry as she speaks to you in a harsh voice.

“We both have our secrets Haley. Do not start with this. My heart is broken at the moment, and I do not wish for you to make it worse.” Your own voice come through as though it may as well been shaking with you.

“May I speak frankly, ma’am?” She stops tugging on you to let her hands fall to her side.

“For God’s sake I wish you would. Hurry and get this thing off of me!” She lifts her hands to your back once more.

“I’m trying, you need to stop moving!” She tugs at the ties a little more aggressively and pulls the last of the lacing free. “I need you to breathe!” She spins you towards her.

“Look at me.” Turning your head to meet her eye with her hand. “Did you fall in love with Harvey?”

You choke a sob upon seeing her face, “Yes.”

“Fool.”

“I beg your pardon?” The tears that were threating to fall dry within a single second.

“Tell me what happened.”

“I will tell me as soon as you tell me what happened with your gentleman.” Haley looks shocked as she falls silent.

“He said he doesn’t love me.”

“Oh Haley. I’m sorry.”

“No, do not apologize. I am 23 years old and I can handle myself with ease. I will be alright.”

“I do not apologize for that. I say sorry because I fear I have forced it from you when you were not ready to tell me.”

“I wasn’t. It happened the night we were in town. He said he was glad I was there and that he has something most important to tell me. So I came into his home and he informed me that our relationship could not continue. That is all I have to say about it as of now.”

“Haley.”

“Please. I do not want to hear you speak another apology.”

“That wasn’t what I was to say.”

“Then continue.”

“I want you to come with me to leave Pelican Town and go back to Boston.”

“You’re leaving?”

“Yes, and I want you by my side.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you will.”

“But my sister.”

“Emily is 30 years old. There should be no reason for you to stay here. She has a job just as you do and is fully capable.”

“I don’t think we’ve ever left each other before.”

“Go home and talk to your sister. Let me know your answer come tomorrow.”

“But what of the evening?”

“I think I can dress myself for one evening. Go, and I will see you in the morning.”

[merrilark]

Forgot to write up my thoughts on the last DW episode, "The Devil's Chord"!

TLDR: Liked it! Surprisingly did not like it as much as "Space Babies" even though everything '60s is right up my street. But it was fun and campy and I'm glad to have fun with DW again.

Soooooo let's talk about the things I didn't like first, before the things I did.

Did not care for:

All the 4th wall breaking. It was charming at first but now it's getting a bit hammy in a way I'm not digging.

The musical number at the end was extremely immersion-breaking. It would have been fine anywhere else in the episode, I think, but to have it after the big bad is gone and the world is back to normal seemed really weird. Like, why does a normal studio suddenly work like a big musical stage? Why is everyone dancing and singing? The song was also disappointingly un-'60s and I just???? Don't... think it added anything to the episode. Also unsure how I feel about the statement that "there's always a twist at the end". I really do not want there to always be a twist. I kinda. I just want to have fun sometimes, you know? Choreography was fun, though.

I got kneejerk discomfort from "The One Who Waits" lmaooo this is totally on me, but, oh, RTD, please do not pull something convoluted on us.

Same with Ruby. I adore her and I think she could still be good, but I am holding my breath. I don't want her to be convoluted either. I really miss when companions were very average and normal people doing extraordinary things because of who they are, not because of the Doctor.

Dunno. Just a bit soft for me. A little too much made-for-little-kids? But that could be because we had two goofy episodes back-to-back, one of which was about literal babies. It was fun! But I dddddo feel? a bit babied? I'm not sure. I think it will get better once we have less lighthearted episodes because I know RTD is capable of writing some soul-crushing, serious stuff.

Really loved!:

THE CLOTHES. Oh I am living for how much Fifteen throws himself into having fun with Ruby. The last two episodes were nice nods back to Nine and Rose, and it's fun to see the similarities and differences there. I like that Fifteen jumps at the opportunity to dress up with Ruby. It's so sweet.

Fifteen in general. Ugh. He's like a warm hug and I missed that. I'll admit the casual petnames from the Doctor were a little strange at first, but it grew on me and I enjoy how the Doctor is so much louder about his love. He captures an overall sense of wonder and excitement and I think he's pretty well written.

The Saxon Theme!!!!!! The Master is definitely coming back and I think RTD writes their dynamic better than the last two writers.

I enjoyed the Rani getting name-dropped and I got out of the loop with Gallifrey and the Time War, but I'm pleased that we're back to being a bit angsty about it. IMO that's how it should be. Please do not bring Gallifrey or the Time Lords back. They need to stay dead.

The new sonic is growing on me. Kinda didn't like it at first, kinda looks like a "cool" gadget from the '90s and it's not screw driver-y at all but??? It's neat.

Ugh, the TARDIS interior. LOVE her. Missed her. She looks so good and big and lovely and pretty.

LOVE how much the Doctor loves her. The TARDIS is to him what the Enterprise is to Captain Kirk and I'm always squishy for it.

On that same note, we should have whumped the TARDIS more. I would like to see the Doctor get very distressed over her.

Anyway, Maestro was loads of fun and I liked the Ursula vibes.

The writing was pretty solid! The anticipation was good, it was just the right amount of scary, just the correct amount of touching, just the correct amount of mysterious, etc. etc. etc. I don't think either "Space Babies" or "The Devil's Chord" will be a favorite episode, but I'm satisfied with them. They were good.

[moonstone27ls]

X-men 97 thoughts so far...

Gonna give one spoiler warning....

.....

.........

.........

Why? Because if reviewers haven't spoiled it, most youtubers have dozens of dozens of clips. Literally no point in me saying it much....

Sooo... that pretty much it....

.....

...........................

.....Spoiler warning....ends.......

............................................now....(Also warning I do not have a Disney+ account. I'm on a budget I'm relying on clip unfortunately)

So my thoughts initially when I was hesitant to really look at it. Not so much because Disney owns this now. Its just been a long time. I kinda quit watching the original cartoon I wanna say before the last two seasons.

First ep didn't really grab me. At first the animation turned me off. I can't give a definitive reason why. Just something about when they first talked. And also.... did everyone suddenly get paler? oO No I'm not accusing them of whitewashing Storm. I'm referring to in general. I mean even Magneto looks a bit bleached.

It at best seemed decent. Ep 2 was shown and I was intrigued to see Magneto was apparently in Charles will and just gave him everything. Either he loved/had faith in Magneto more than he showed or just dang he pulled a 180 as they say. Lol I kid, I do think Xavier did all that out of good faith.

That one grabbed my attention a lot more. To see Magneto struggle against what he's use to. To try and be better for Xavier and the X-men. I admit seeing Storm lose her powers was a shocker. But I don't believe she'll stay human forever.

As hard as it is sometimes to see the other side. The show did actually attempt to show a pov for humans. (And no not referring to friends of humanity group). Its just a youtber pointed it out, that although Storm was protecting Magneto, yeah through a humans' eyes the powers could look more terrifying. And although it was stupid of the doctor to refuse aid to Madelyne (Jean's clone, sorry warned earlier on spoilers).

I've watched enough hero shows to see... the doc had a point. DC's Ace accidentally killed her parent as a baby. Cyclops has had accidents. So the fear wasn't totally without cause. Still cool though that Rogue could absorb medical knowledge and the nurses complied.

Enjoyed Wolverine's face when she said the baby was coming. Baby Nathan was cute. And the monologue Magneto gave the UN was really well done.

Ep 3 came and well wasn't entirely shocked the Jean, Cylcops had a baby with would turn out to be her clone. I dunno if it was everyone guessing or the comic reference. Hmm for me it was her face in the background. I swear Madelyne looked more angry than shocked.

And also dang that was good moment to show us they could let go of some restraints. Besides the excellent animation in both their fears being shown and Goblin Queen's fight with X-men and Magneto. And I'm gonna say it... Jean's talk with Wolverine. Very sweet moment, it made me a Jean/Logan shipper. And I recall as a kid I wasn't really into it.

Though will it happen... dunno. Probably not. But I wouldn't be entirely against it. Especially watching that whole ep. Just neither one can remember when they got switched. Just awkwarddddddddd. And while it was sad Cyclops had to say goodbye to his baby, granted I had not read the comics but was told enough to know it was gonna happen. Changed obviously but cartoons does their own thing.

Ep 4 was okay, Jubilee's okay but stuff with Mojo was never my thing. I just enjoyed it when her and Roberto finally became an item. Super cute. Though surprised that the X-men just basically bent over when Magneto said "no" to Jubilee's birthday wish. I mean granted yes he owns their group?/or home. But they all literally wanted to enjoy/and give Jubilee a birthday party. Just surprised not even Wolverine offered to take them out.

Storm's arc was so far ok(waiting for part 2 to full give opinion). Felt sorry for her the entire time cause she clearly missed her powers. And was a bit surprised Forge made those weapons... (dunno if thats a direct ref to the comics).

Then on to ep 5... the one I think so far has clearly blown our minds. I'm not gonna lie part of me saw what happened with Genosha coming because I follow people who explain comic history. So moment the place was mentioned I thought "oh boy what are they gonna do". I am a bit surprised Cable attempted to stop it. Or warn others of it? Sooo... is Madelyne dead? Went to fast to show if she survived.

Action scenes were intense to say the least. Not gonna lie I will be super pissed if they killed off Remy just so Rogue can run back to Magneto. Yes I know what the robot said and everyone's all "Magneto's dead".... but considering how this ended I wouldn't be surprised if he's shown alive later. Guess just a bit surprised people died in general. I mean its not Invincible level but you get the idea still surprising.

Any personal notes... okay what I liked. Voice acting's good, glad they got back the original actors, animation, music even pretty good, some of the story has done fairly well. I like some of the new characters.. I mean I guess.. its been 5 episodes I can't say there's been a lot. All of the cameos and easter eggs.

Anything I don't like...the love drama. Cyclops love rectangle(had to add Wolverine). Not sure were the writers are planning to go with this. And Emma Frost is here, as a character I dunno. But her role with Cyclops I DO remember. Please people don't add more. Lol. After this ep I can already see his variables. One, Madelyne's alive and he choses her. Two, Madelyne's dead and he wants Jean back as a rebound; though she's clearly in my opinion should be given space instead of being asked to choose whom to love right now. Or three she's hurt and he drags his feet in between both. Which sucks.

Honestly although I know Logan turned Jean down. I would prefer Jean go "I need space". She finds her space and she just asks Logan on a date. Just to see where it goes.

Then there's the one I REALLY didn't ask for Rogue/Magneto/Gambit. Yes I know this was in the comics but even then I didn't like it. But onto the show version. Don't like it cause there was no hint of it in the series. And secondly felt like the story was trying to give us Rogue/Gambit as a couple. So to see them trying to find their footing and then shoehorn this love triangle in was EXHAUSTING. I mean I love Magneto as a character both hero/antihero and villain. But I don't ship him with Rogue. He's old enough to be her grandfather and the animation doesn't really do well of hiding it either. He's a cool grandpa but still grandpa to me.

AND yes I know this is a revival. But even their attempts to give it justification felt off. Their background made it more awkward. I'm giving my opinion to be clear. You don't like it don't read it. From what I can tell Rogue was kicked out as a teen. And according to the wiki she was 13.

She met Magneto (according to this revival ) sometime after Mystique took her in. What time? I admit it doesn't say. Given how she's in her mid 20s in the show. We still have to assume she was still a teenager when they met.

Again can't give a precise age besides the fact that it was vague on purpose. Secondly, the animators made her look her 20s age even when she met Magneto. And I'm not buying that. I get it they're attempting to not make this triangle so out of the blue.

But doing it like this now and then I'm gonna be blunt watching his actions/and that dance felt wayyyy more predatory than it did romantic. At least Wolverine wouldn't put Jean on the spot so he could get into her pants. I mean come on writers Magneto could literally have ANYONE else without making it feel predatory BD;.

I'll say it again, I will be PISSED if Gambit is killed and Magneto lives. And just so we can push a may/December romance NOBODY asked for. And at Gambit's expense.

Thats it. I'll write my opinions when the rest of the eps are shown. Later till then!

[trinrose3]

Wanted to write a little fic about James meeting his father again after all these years ...or at least a little bit of the aftermath of it and the feelings that came with it and the circumstance around it.

Obligations are Just a Choice for Some and a Duty to Others

Words: 1564

Character: James, his dad, and Theo, (and a random nurse)

TWs: Mentions of Abuse and a brief description of it

Familial obligation.

James wanted to laugh. The bitter kind of laugh; the one where you know that if you don’t you’ll either scream till your voice turns raw or sob till you drown in your own tears.

How dare he. How dare that man…after all these years… 

“James—”

“James!”

He ignored the calls of the nurse who was trying to catch up to him.

She gave one last desperate attempt and reached out to grab his shoulder, “James…”

“What?” He snapped, face red with anger, his heart pounding from it too. Were his ears ringing from it as well or were his hearing aids acting up?

“How are you just going to walk away from him like that?” The nurse tried to berate.

James snorted, “Trust me, very easily.”

 “Although, it would be a lot easier if he didn’t bash my fucking leg in with a baseball bat.” He continued, slamming his cane onto the ground for emphasis. 

She seemed too shocked at his answer if the wide eyes and stammering was any indication. 

“How come you never said anything?” The nurse said, eyebrows knit in confusion and sympathy.

James clenched his teeth and sighed, “It’s already hard enough to get people to think that I’m competent at my job; I don’t need another layer of pity on top of it.” He was finding it hard to swallow, “And besides, it doesn’t make for a good conversation or bedside manner, now does it?”

“I suppose not…” She agreed hesitantly, eyes drifting to the floor, purposefully away from where his cane was.

“Listen, I appreciate you trying to mediate, honest, but some things are better left broken and un-mended.”

“So what do you plan to do?” The nurse asked, shuffling uncomfortably in place. 

“Hand him off to another doctor, inform security to who he is and give them instructions to make sure he leaves me alone, and if he doesn’t die, the second he’s cured, get them to escort him out at the soonest possible moment.”

“But—”

“But what?” James echoed, “But he’s your father? But he’s family?” 

“I know what he—”

“You don’t know anything!” He cut her off, uncaring that he was starting to cause a disturbance, “like I said, I know you mean well, but drop it.”

James swiftly turned away from her and started storming off and down the hallway, “I’m taking a break; don’t bother me.”

James pretended it was the chill of the air that stung his face and not the tears that were threatening to run down it. 

He watched the people as they passed by from his sad little place on the sad little bench. James wasn’t a jealous or bitter person. However, sometimes he found himself cursing at a god he on longer believed in and wanting answers as to why he couldn’t have one of the most basic things a human should be given; parental love.

“Rough day?”

Well, he wasn’t expecting to hear that voice.

He managed a smile and turned towards the man who had spoken, “Hello, Theo.”

“Mind if I sit?” Theo asked, pointing to the bench as the other clutched a box to his chest.

“All yours.” James replied, and scooted over a bit. 

“So, what’s bothering you?” Theo questioned, gently placing a hand on the others’ back.

James had never been a big fan of being touched but over the last few years had learned to find comfort in it. Even still, he had a hard time not tensing immediately after any contact had been made. However this time James found himself doing something completely unexpected. First, placed his cup of coffee to his unoccupied side, almost robotically, face blank. Then he nearly tossed himself into the other, wrapping his arms around the man like he was his life line.

“Woah!” Theo said, “That bad?”

All James could do was give a small pathetic sob as he nodded and buried his head further into the other’s neck; he smelled like freshly baked oatmeal cookies. They stayed together like that for a few moments; the only thing interrupting their silence was a few muffled sobs and hiccups from the distressed man. 

“Sorry.” James said as he pulled away.

Theo kept his hand on the other’s back and rubbed it “Hey, no worries.”

“Listen, I know you like to keep things to yourself, and that’s okay,” Theo comforted, “but I am here if you need to talk or just have a shoulder to lean on. August and Eric too.”

James smiled somberly, “Thank you.”

“I brought you some cookies.”

“Lucky me.”

Theo handed James the box and watched as he opened it eagerly. They weren’t as young as they used to be but he enjoyed the moments where James’ excitement would get the best of him, as few and far between as they were. He always was a shy and reserved man…

“My father’s in the hospital. They assigned him as my patient.” James stated like he was saying the sky was blue. 

Theo found out the hard way that yes, it was in fact possible to choke on air and your hear that has leaped up into your throat at the same time, “They what?!”

“Well to be quite fair, they had no really clue about how — and pardon my language— much of bastard that dickhead fucking was,” James said, his words a bit muddled from the cookie he had shoved into his mouth.

“So what did you do?”

James paused, and furrowed his brows, “ I wish I could say that I stood up for myself but…” He dropped his head in shame, “In reality I just walked into the room, let him have his whole speech about how ‘proud’ he was of me and how much of a good son I would be if I donated some bone marrow to him or convinced Jess to…”

“That must have been hard…” Theo looked down at his hands as he clasped them together.

" ‘Familial obligation’ he said,” James mocked, “As if he knows the meaning of those words.”

“I mean—” James looked up at the sky, “what does he know of the meaning of that phrase! Familial Obligation? Where was his familial obligation all those years ago, huh?” 

James was starting to get upset again, his chest rising and falling rapidly as memories he had tried to suppress for years came flooding all back, “Why is it that everyone always questions why the child feels no obligation to repair the relationship when the parent was the one who ruined it in the first place?!” 

“I—” Theo tried to speak.

“— I mean I was a kid, what was I supposed to do?” His lips were wobbling, eyes wide with fear, “What am I supposed to do now? If I help him I might as well be saying that I forgive him. If I don’t I might as well just be his killer, and everyone will think I’m in the wrong and that I'm heartless; I mean, why wouldn’t they? They don’t know anything about me!”

James gripped at his chest, “My whole life has been spent in fear of that man. I can’t…I can’t just—”

“It’s okay—”

“No it isn’t!” James barked, fear utterly consuming him as he jolted up from the bench, cane falling on the concrete below, “What the fuck is supposed to be okay? There’s nothing okay with this! This situation isn’t okay! I’m not fucking okay!”

Theo slowly stood up, arms out in a comforting gesture, “You’re right. It’s not okay. You shouldn’t have to deal with this, you shouldn’t have this weight on your shoulders.”

“But I do…” James sniffed.

“But you do..” Theo sadly confirmed. 

“I’m so tired…” James admitted, his voice wavering, almost giving out.

“I know.”

“What do I do?”

Theo wished he had an actual answer as he brought James back into a hug, “I’m sure whatever decision you make will be the right one.”

“That was a non-answer if I’ve ever heard one.” James laughed bitterly.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” James wiped away his tears.

“It’s hard. Sometimes you want to forgive them because they raised you but a part of you knows that they can’t be forgiven for what they’ve done. A part of you will always yearn for the way it was before but there’s no going back,” Theo bent down to grab the cane, “If you ask me, his comfort and anyone else's comfort shouldn’t be worth the risk of your safety.” 

James gently grabbed the cane, “Thank you…”

“Maybe you should take some personal time?” Theo suggested.

“Yeah…I think I should.”

“Maybe you could get a free bereavement period out of it,” Theo jested. 

There it was; that little smile that James liked to hide, the one where he knew something shouldn’t be funny but couldn’t act like it wasn’t. Theo was very happy to see it. 

“I’m gonna…go clock out now.” James said awkwardly gesturing to the hospital doors as he turned to leave.

“Mind if I drive you home?” 

James turned around, “I’d like that.” He said smiling before turning back.

“You’re just happy you get to eat the rest of these cookies in the car!” 

The bark of laughter that erupted from James was all the comfort and confirmation that Theo needed. He’d bake the man some more when they got home. 

Screw that fucking bastard. 

[lichtecht]

okay ich pack das unter einen cut weil spoiler für dfk 2023

aber ich hab was zu sagen, was justus/nichtraucher angeht

okay first of all.

i was pleasantly surprised!!

this is the only movie that didn’t give either of them a female love interest!! direktorin kreuzkamm seems to be interested in dr bökh, but there is NOTHING from him. wtf. this is revolutionary.

the story was changed a lot though. but i don’t think it was for the worse?

basically.

the nichtraucher lives in his little garden all by himself. he smokes. he plays piano. he’s writing a book, apparently!

the whole scene with justus after the fight was. changed a bit. they cut the part about why the kids didn’t come to him and about trust and righteousness a lot. theo is also not present. the kids are sent to dr bökh's office and he’s like. „sigh. theo, will you get us some cookies.“ and then they cut to him telling the story of his school days.

WHICH GOES AS FOLLOWS.

he had an enemy. called robert. who was one of the externe, while justus was one of the interne. justus was jealous of robert, he seemed to have everything justus wanted. they fought a lot. but then justus' mother got sick. and justus couldn’t visit her. robert's father was a doctor in the hospital she was in, and he offered his help. and so robert and justus became friends. they had a band.

dr bökh tells the kids that his friend robert later studied medicine, but they lost contact.

and the kids piece together that this robert is the nonsmoker, who they’ve met recently.

so they take justus to the garden where he lives.

when they get there, the nonsmoker is currently chopping wood in a sleeveless shirt.

justus takes off the blindfold and is like: „robert!“ (happy/surprised)

der nichtraucher: „was soll das denn, warum bringt ihr euren lehrer hierher?“

WHEN I TELL YOU I WAS SHOCKED

jo: „uh… we thought you two knew each other.“

nonsmoker: „and?“

SO BASICALLY THE NONSMOKER IS NOT HAPPY TO SEE JUSTUS

justus: „du hast hier die ganze zeit gewohnt und dich nie gemeldet?“

robert: „warum sollte ich?“

the kids realize that they should leave. justus and the nonsmoker have a talk.

i think justus starts with: „schön hast du’s hier. vielleicht könnten wir uns ja mal verabreden… auf ein bier oder so.“

robert ist eher nicht so romantisch drauf.

it turns out that when marie, roberts wife, died, justus didn’t attend the funeral. he didn’t even contact robert. (it’s not really explained why, i think.)

justus says: „when you met your wife… you were just gone. what about the two of us? we had plans.“

BRO I THOUGHT THE NONSMOKER WOULD BE PINING FOR JUSTUS THE ENTIRE TIME BUT IT WAS THE OTHER WAY AROUND

you cannot say that. you CANNOT say that in a straight way. dude. dude that’s gay

(i really wish i could rewatch that scene so i could pull quotes.)

justus: „als du deine frau kennengelernt hast… da warst du einfach weg. dabei hatten wir doch pläne. das hat mich sehr verletzt damals.“

robert: „…du warst verletzt.“

so basically robert is bitter. his wife died and justus didn’t even support him. and JUSTUS is the one who was in love with his friend and who was hurt because robert found a wife and left him??

naja.

das gespräch endet damit, dass justus sagt: „du weißt, wo du mich findest.“

ich glaub, das nächste mal, dass wir den nichtraucher sehen, ist, als er sich mit jo unterhält. sie besucht ihn im nichtraucherwagen. er bringt ihr klavier bei. <3

und er erzählt ihr ein bisschen von früher. dass es damals schon nicht so einfach war, „wenn interne und externe befreundet waren“.

hmm. sounds gay.

the next time robert and justus see each other is when robert decides he does want to talk to justus. he puts on a nice suit jacket and he goes into town, only to see that ULI is climbing THE WALL.

yeah, ulis accident, very tragic, robert was luckily there to help as a doctor. i’ll talk about ulis accident sometime else.

so.

the next time robert and justus see each other is in the hospital.

justus: „was machst du denn hier?“

robert: „ich war grade rechtzeitig da, um als arzt zu helfen.“

(irgendein cut, ich weiß es nicht mehr?)

robert: „so weit hätte es niemals kommen dürfen.“

justus: „während ich mir hier mühe gebe, um den kindern einen sicheren ort zu geben hast du [xyz, weiß ich nicht mehr]. also geh zurück in deinen waggon und leg die füße hoch. ich muss jetzt die eltern informieren.“ (geht)

robert: „…das hab ich nicht gemeint.“

also, robert will justus jetzt doch eine chance geben, aber justus fühlt sich zurückgewiesen.

während der aufführung des stücks werfen sie sich dann blicke zu. du hättest es sehen müssen, ey

und dann treffen sie sich auf ein bier.

robert: „ich dachte schon, du kommst nicht.“

justus: „natürlich komm ich.“

und dann kommt die szene, wo sie miteinander musik machen.

guys.

i know the story’s different, but i’m here for it. i’m here for the bitterness.

and they were just so gay. it was so gay throughout. best fucking part of the movie. it DELIVERED

[none-ofthisnonsense]

Merlin S5E2, “Arthur’s Bane: Part Two”

Aithusa??? Why is she on Morgana’s side. (Also, how come Morgana knows her name?)

Seriously. Same quarry as Doctor Who! (Though both series being produced in and by BBC Eales, I’m not altogether surprised.)

STOP SAYING HE HAS TO HELP YOU. HE DOES NOT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING. 

Still unclear about what the fuck that thing is.

I swear I’ve seen Sefa’s dad somewhere before but I DON’T KNOW WHERE. (He was in Doctor Who!)

Morgana is SO manipulative.

Ohh il a un triskell sur son cou!

Sefa, “sorry” isn’t going to cut it here.

Merlin’s morals are a really interesting thing to explore, actually. (He always avoids death EXCEPT to protect Arthur.)

…is Gwaine particularly special?

I love Ruadan. Also HOW IS HE SUCH A GOOD FIGHTER I’m not usually one for fight scenes but the ones with Ruadan? HELL YEAH.

“Soon the Pendragons will be no more” does that include Morgana?

I forgot Morgana had pretty much adopted Mordred. (God, I want to see that.)

Mordred is so similar to Merlin sometimes. IT’S ABOUT THE PARALLELS.

Merlin, Gwaine, have I mentioned how much I love you two?

So will Merlin be nicer to Mordred now? (The music…)

A QUARRY IN WALES. I’M TELLING YOU.

[house-of-slayterr]

I AM NOT GOING TO PLAY MR. NICE GUY ANYMORE. Give me the URL of your beau. There is a limit to my patience and THIS IS IT. YOU ARE ACTING BELLIGERENTLY AND STUPIDLY. FIRST UNNECESSARILY EXPOSING YOUR HEALTH AT THE HOSPITAL NOW YOU ARE BATTERED AND BRUISED. WHY MUST YOU MAKE ALL THE SACRIFICES?! THIS BOYFRIEND OF YOURS IS PUTTING YOU THROUGH TOO MUCH. Where can I find him. Show me now.

I promise it’s not that bad, I know how to handle myself, everyone gets hurt or makes compromises sometimes. He does a lot in return for me too, and I love him very very much.

He’s just simply more sick than I am at the moment, and as the more able bodies partner I’m willing to chip in and help a little bit more. If the tables were flipped, he’s be doing the same things for me. He’s cried so many times this week about feeling bad about me having to do so much extra. But I know it’s not a forever thing, just until his blood infection clears and he’s back to his normal, helpfully, energetic self!

He rarely checks tumblr unless I tag him in something because it’s not really his thing. But if you really want to make sure I’m safe and talk to him, I won’t stop you. Just please don’t approach with so much anger as if he’s done something wrong, when he hasn’t. He loves me very much, and he spoils me with kindness and affection and handmade gifts everyday.

He understand there will be times when I can’t do things because of my health, and he wouldn’t fault me for that either. I’m still planning on getting my new Discord server set up so all my friends and family can meet and chat and get to know each other. Maybe he won’t seem so bad once you actually get to talk to him and understand him as a person. He’s been one of my best friends for over 4 years now, and I trust him with my life.

I promise I’m safe here. If I needed to do something for my physical or mental health, not only would I have his full support, no questions asked, I have his mama and baba to back me up to. Everybody in the house just wants to keep me safe, happy and healthy. My clumsiness is my own fault and nobodies leases. I’m just a clumsy kind of person. I’ve dislocated and sprained more joints than I can count on my hands. That has nothing to do with him. He even scolded me for moving too fast and forced me to sit down. And he helps me ice/massage/warp it everyday until it’s fully healed.

He’s a really good person, but every relationship Comes with compromises. I don’t consider taking care of my partner when I can, a sacrifice.

Je t'aime très fort papa, de tout mon cœur. mais s'il vous plaît, donnez-lui une chance d'abord?

You didn’t have the full context of that post, so I don’t blame your for worrying. And I’ve been so busy that first month I had hardly any time to even update my family up in Michigan. Which is why this weekend I’m really hyper focussing on making my new server and Facebook so I can do mass updates for basic life updates and Dm everyone individually for more personal updates.

I promise I wasn’t blowing anyone off or trying to ignore anyone. But I’ve had to find new doctors, learn my way around, help take care of the house that I now live in, that I’m so grateful to have. And I’ve been job hunting, trying to find a way to go back to school. All those things take up a lot of time and energy. But now that a bulk is out of the way, I can slow down and relax a bit. I have so many fun activities coming up that I can’t wait to share with you papa! Like working at an LGBT summer camp, or my first pride event at Disney world!!!

I’ll have a lot more time to just chat and hang out and have fun with all the people who are important to me. And you ARE one of them. 🫀

My Best friend from Michigan, my father and my sister, have all met him and his family and think this is the best choice I’ve made for myself. Even my therapist thinks I’m doing great right now and is proud of me. I moved down here for me first and foremost, for my physical and mental health. My boyfriend being here, and not having to pay rent cause we live with mama right now, are just great bonus.

My life was going nowhere up in Michigan and my doctors where just gonna sit around and wait for me to die. So I did something about that, and I took intuitive and Wendy where I can get help. So while I understand your concern and worry, and possible anger from misunderstandings, everything down here is on the up and up right now. That first might as tough, but we pushed through and things will improve! I have faith in this, so I would approcote if everyone else could to. Skepticism is listen to and taken into account when warranted, but maybe get to know him first before you judge. 🥰

Sorry for the long reply, but a short response didn’t seem appropriate.

[muffindaddystyles]

DENTIST THE BAD BOI (PART2)

Word Count: 17k.

A/N: Heavily inspired from 90's rom-coms, so if your heart swoons out of loneliness it's not on me sistas -- doctor Harry my fav.

Summary: Y/N's much tolerable when less grumpy then more kissable, more loveable and cuddleable and Harry wants to be more than just fuck buddies that he ends up giving Y/N a tooth ache.

Pairing: Dentist Harry × Artist reader, Frenemies to bestfriends to lovers, platonic affection and loads of bestie fluff, smut and domestic love.

MASTERLIST | REQUEST FOR BLURBS FROM THIS FIC ARE OPEN | PART 1

“Yes. I want you to stay.” She doesn’t hesitate this time. Her words honest and full of plead, she needs him, she wants him, she wants to have him.

Harry’s lips quirks up into a loopish smile at that and he hoists his knee up and above, sinking his palms into her soft mattress besides her temple and blocks the mellow sunshine that peeks through her lace curtains. Her heart squeezes out of her rib-bones and turns gooey somewhere within her insides as her lungs fill with his minty and warm ardour and if she'd be not this flushed and throbbing between her sticky thighs she'd have cracked a dentist joke.

“Y’want me to lick y'cookie f'ye?” He gives her a bunny grin and his fingertips tickles her shoulder; milky skin twinkling at him from the neckline of her shirt that’s barely sitting there and she pouts raising her hands to smack his chest, but he grabs them and tugs her forward, tutting sternly, “I want an answer.” His foresty pupils darkens around rims and her throat turns scratchy. So, she bobs her head up and down eagerly, feeling the metal around his fingers smouldering into her wrist and the thought of it on her clit makes her mewl.

It dings his adam apple sexily and his eyes turn soft and cheeks rosy, Harry doesn’t know what she likes or not so he’s gonna start tentative and careful and gradually ease her into taking big things after, letting her drip onto sheets for hours if she’d like him edging and teasing her.

She watches him with doe-innocent eyes and Harry almost ruts his hips against the mattress from the way his cock twitches weepily -- sensitive against the fabric of his joggers.

He keeps their intense eye contact while sliding back down between her legs and cares his calloused warm palms under the back of her cushiony fleshy thighs and bends her knees up, his eyes flicker towards her tummy that exposes to him when she stretches out gracefully in reaction to his tingling touch.

Making sure she’s alright, his nimble taps her ankle and when she breathes out a whiny “yes.”,

He gropes the insides of her thighs and spreads them apart and presses them down letting her make puny noises when the cool air teases her folds, she smells so good for him, “Already such a puddle, Muffy. G'na gimme a sugar rush from ye'sweetness.” He darts his pink tongue out to moisturize his petal lip and his grunt pleased and heavy upon seeing her gush more arousal just from listening him talk.

He spreads her swollen pussylips apart with his middle and pointer finger and her chin tips towards the ceiling, mouth apart around a gasp when he glints a smirk towards her all while poking his tongue out and flattening it against her clenching entrance and licks her juices up.

“Does it feel good?” He hums nonchalantly nosing at her little button and paints his lips with her wetness. She stays a bit stiff. Not making any move and staying put in her position. Harry takes her clit between his teeth when she whimpers out and her body turns taut, her hands balling at her sides.

“Y've t’use y’words with me, moppet. It works two ways, always.” His hands reaches blindly for her wrists and he puts them over his poof of hair but it remains fisted and he rubs his big hands up and down where her thighs meets her sweet cunt, “Try t’ relax. Can y'do that fo'me, pet?”

His brows pinches together into a frown. His glistening lips from her turning into a grumpy pout when she doesn’t respond — was he unable to make her feel hot and excited? she should tell him if she didn’t like it.

“Y/N ...” He raises his head slowly from between her thighs and his jaw goes slack, his eyes bursting wide seeing her holding her breath and hiding her face underneath her forearm, “Shit. Shit. Y/N!” He’s quickly crawling towards her and sliding his hand under her back, brings her to his chest with his fingers wrapped around the nook of her elbow.

“Breathe, Sweetheart. ‘s okay.” Is this what she was talking about? Is this why she has specific days for touching herself? Poor bambi. He massages her back with tender circles and sighs in relief when he feels her chest calming down back to normal.

“Y/N ...” He pushes her away from shoulders to look down at her sternly and takes her hair into his grasp and slinks them to side, “What’s happenin’ with ye'muffy?” He gives her a downturn of lips and quirk of brow indicating her that there isn’t any escape for this time.

For fuck’s sake! He’s her bestfriend. He should know atleast that she’s alright!

He gauges for her eyes when she presses her palms into his knees and lifts her bum a tad from the sheets, shy embarrassment turning the tips of her ears pink, manipulating her toffee lip in her mouth and Harry pushes back the hair that are falling in her eyes.

She’s feeling hell load giddy and humiliated to tell him this.

Harry startles back, blinking rapidly when she squeaks out in one breath, “’M scared to hurt you!” He pulls her forward with his hand wrapped around the nape of her neck and frowns.

His touch with her tender and un-conceit, when usually he’s a domineering in bed and riles them enough for them to beg and moan pathetically for him.

“What? Scared ---.. hurt?” He tries to piece what she said together but it doesn’t make any sense. So, he guesses that he'd have to pry some more from her, “What're ye' talkin' bout muffy?” He sighs noticing the way she clenches the hem of her shirt and mumbles something but Harry’s giving her a piercing glare and it makes her ramble anxiously.

His hand affixed at her skimmed from under her shirt and his thumb keeps on circling her hip-bone.

“’M afraid that I’ll get all horny ‘n loose all my senses and be all rough with you, ending up hurtin'y and I’ll be too engulfed in pleasure that you wouldn’t be able to stop me ....” She fiddles her fingers vigorously in Harry’s hand and he's cutting her with a tut, “That’s the point silly girl.” He chuckles amused at her and she shakes her head whining up at him with a surly expression. The corners of her eyes pinkish and watery from forcing herself to feel the pleasure Harry’s tongue was devoting her.

“But, Harry ‘m not some insatiable monster!!” His heart thuds at the concerned worrisome look on her angelic features and he’s cupping her cheeks, he curses out internally to whoever told her this and his lip grouches up, “You’re not some insatiable monster. Who the fuck fed you this bullshit?” He scolds her and it makes her fleet her gaze away from him.

“You’re not —-... what the fuck, Y/N. Tell me their name so I could break their jaw.” He gasps in shock and he spits in venom. Knuckling at her chin to prop it high infront of him and doesn’t break the cogent eye contact -– his eyes full of hatred and loath for the person.

That damn person who made his Bambi, so insecure and conscious and self-degrading about herself.

“The guy –,” She stutters. He gives her an encouraging hum and she plays with his rings, she knows that he’ll never make fun of her about it and mighty be understanding.

He has always been.

But sometimes he laughs at the worst moments. Not his fault. She has adopted that habit too from living with him.

Right now though. He looks very serious and furious, it creeps heat up her throat.

“The guy I lost my virginity to. He said – he ... umm said that I hurt him when I flipped him underneath me and was being selfish asking him to you know ...?” She mumbles, uncertain if she’s putting it out right and Harry runs his fingers through his curls gripping at the roots and groans in annoyance, properly vexed.

“Firstly muffy. Virginity isn’t a thing. It’s a term made by egoistic men like that prick of a guy, secondly did he make you cum?” His voice tones down gentle and caring. He lays her down and settles her head on the pillow and she's still fisting his shirt in her hands.

He grimaces when she shakes her head, her eyes owlish and glossy pointing down, “Everything was so dry that I wasn’t able to enjoy it ...” She winces remembering it and Harry cradles her face cooing delicately, “Oh Bambi. It was, ‘cos ye' weren’t aroused enough.” But, she’s now. With Harry ontop of her and being all warm and lovey and handling her as if she’s fine china, she could feel gooey wetness sticked to her thighs.

For first time in her life. She feels relaxed and light headed talking about it.

So, she continues, “ .. and it was bit disgusting, he came all over my tummy ‘cos he didn’t have a condom.” At this he grumps, his nostrils flares and pinches the bridge of his nose to keep him sane, “What a cheap bastard!” She giggles at his outrage and he just gives a fluttery smile to her shaking his curls.

He pets the sheen on her cheek away and gazes her sincerely, “You shouldn’t trust everyone and anyone, pet. ‘S a cruel world out there.” The fact that if he’d have came inside her boils Harry’s blood -- she'd have gotten the worst thing happen to her.

He just feels so protective of her. If he’d be able to keep her safe under his shield to scare away bastards like that guy he gladly will.

“Now, hear me Bambi eyed. We never have unprotected sex with strangers and never let ‘em make y’feel bad fo' wantin’ t’be pleasured .. if two people consent fo' it then both ‘ve to fulfil eachother’s desire. Am I clear?” His tone gruff and firm. She suckles her lower lip inside her mouth and nods quickly.

Something about him commanding and lecturing her making a fire fuse in the pit of her tummy and it makes her salivate down a whimper, which sure didn’t go unnoticed by Harry’s side and his lips are quirking into vivacious grin.

He’s retreating back between her legs keeping a cautious gaze on her as if she’s a prey and one move will wither her away, “’N fo’ being rough. I like it rough. Y'could d'all of that with me without being embarrassed.” His smirk dripping with wickedness and Y/N’s head jerks back at the thought of him seeing forward to do more of this with her.

His palm lays sturdy and pressed to her belly, his puckering lips against the inside of her thigh parts around a silent groan when he feels her belly quiver.

He embeds slobbery kisses to where she’s clenched impatiently for him and he pushes his fingers against her clit and slides them up and down between her puffy folds, love creating soppy filthy noises and gives a kitten lap to her then attaches his lip to her smudgy hole murmuring against her breathily to make her feel the electricity till her core.

“Will love havin' ye'tiny fingers pullin' at me hair with a swimy brain. Buckin'y hips into my mouth begging me to ruin yer cunt with my tongue and ‘ave me dancin' on y'palm, extractin’ out glutinous grunty moans within me chest -- it’ll not be just moans, no! —- a viscous toe curlin' sound that’d rumble savagely in my throat a warning fo’ you to keep these gorgeous thighs open fo' me to eat you out as I wish and my large hands will belt ‘round y'waist digging my nails into your dimples when you'll scratch my back ‘n it’ll leave angry marks behind — a reminder fo’ you how much I fuckin' loved you being horny as the deepest burnin' of hells.” She’s panting and sobbing for a cusp of breath manoeuvring her fingers in the tufts of his silky mess of curls and tugs at it and shoves her cunt, grinding against his chin. The softness of his cheeks glittering her bones and she’s falling wider apart from him, and he grins.

Noses at her throbbing clit and sucks it in her mouth and massages her pussy with her own lubrication and how much he picks it on his tongue she’s ready to give him more and he’s moaning with fierce ruby lips wrapping around her fluttering pussy folds, moving his mouth every where and it elicits a choppy whine from her.

“Fuck. Look at'y ... s'innocent but such a dirty little girl fo' me.” He dips his fingers merely into her and swipes up a cardinal push against her spongey wall and treats it back.

It’s too much for, Y/N. Everything. His wanton words better than those audios, his warm tongue on her and the strength of his arms holding her down, his flushed out cheeks and the teasing and teetering he's doing to give her an orgasm that sprays cosmic stars into her fogginess and she doesn’t even know that cloy moans of, “yes.yes.yes.” are dripping from her and he’s boring his face back into her when he latches away from her sweet pussy with the help of his elbow.

“I want you to say it.” There’s pause in the string of her racing heart and her brows hitches in confusion, though he doesn’t give her enough time and moves her pussylips apart letting his nails graze at them gently.

She’s squealing in surprise and jolting up with exhilarating sensation when he spits at her and watches it trickle down her bum, thick and honeyed with lust-fond eyes.

She’s erupting into startled moans when he grunts spitting again and makes her little cunt the messiest thing, “Say it. Say that yer dirty little —-,” She cuts him with a sharp and whiny yawp and plunges her nails into his shoulder making him hiss through his teeth.

“I’m a dirty little girl, f'you. Just you. Just you. Just you ....” Her voice tones down into coy whispers stuffed to the pillow as her body anchors stintingly from her bed and Harry’s hand slides from her torso down her ass and gropes at it keeping her coupled to his mouth as she coats his chin and his lips and his cheeks with her cum and his own spit and he’s murmuring grittily, “Yeah moppet. Mhmp. Come in me mouth. Fill it all, such a good girl.” He nips and tucks at her making her satiate through her high and places a kiss to her clit for the last time when she thrashes from sensitiveness before moving away.

“Sensitive lil thing ye'r.” He murmurs rubbing her thighs to coax her down and feels goosebumps prick on her skin, glances up and finds her a beautiful colour of pink and peach and her hair nested as a halo on the pillow.

She’s just so beautiful in many ways, it aches his heart.

He’s flopping to her side and poking her cheek earning a tick of ravenous smile and he watches as her irises moves under her closed lids.

“That was ... hmm.” She hums sluggishly knuckling at her eyes and Harry muses out a chuckle, before she could come up with a dentist joke he's cracking it himself sensing her gears working in that tiny head of hers, “Very filling?” That makes her hide her face into his neck and giggle.

“Yeah. Could say that.” She rests her chin on his shoulder and poses her brows questioningly when his stuffy pocket pokes at her thigh, “What’s that?” He didn’t realise he was too swamped in admiring the specks of her hazelness pouring with sunlight and he’s blinking back to re-start himself.

“Oh! This ..?” He’s taking out it slowly and she’s whining and shaking him to hurry up and he’s giggling at how impatient she could get when curious.

She holds it infront of her and it’s a cute green beanie with a little gucci embroidered at where it gets folded and her smile dejects when Harry speaks, “One of my colleagues gifted me this as a birthday present.” Why didn’t she thought about gifting him this for his birthday? Not that she has money for Gucci but they've been celebrating for three years and not once she didn’t get an idea that he wears beanies alot and mighty would like it?

Anyway, it’s far better than the painting of snowy and a mason jar filled with candy wrappers having her appreciations and dentist jokes written to their backside she gifted him, Y/N pouts thinking how she could’ve get him something useful.

Harry doesn’t care about materialistic things. He says that you could buy them anytime and that money is just the murk of your palm, it goes away in one wash -- the little shows of affection always are by your side in hard times.

“Hey Muffy...” He's yawning nudging her side noticing how she zones out and away from him, “D'ya have some chamomile tea?” Her chin slips from her shoulder at the sudden rasp.

“What? Why?” She gazes him. His body slumpy and tired over her and his mouth ajar cutely, she scratches his scalp lightly and swears that he let out the softest purr.

“Was in the operation theatre fo' hours now, just came from there -- emergency case. It was bad.” He emphasizes it getting a lisp a bit and she sits up closer to him.

“What happened to the person? She asks hoping they’re okay and have any hopes for recovery.

He just fiddles away the beanie from her grip and covers her head with it folding and adjusting it over her ears, “Not tellin' ya ...” He murmurs rubbing his nose into her arm and sniffs her saccharine scent. He knows that she doesn’t take the stories from his workplace well and it keeps her awake at nights, then she’s visiting the patient herself and Harry have to drag her out of his hospital every damn time.

She cares too much. Even for strangers. She’s too kind for her own sake and Harry thinks sometimes being selfish should be the latter option.

He squints open his one eye feeling her gaze fixated on him and huffs a lil, his little stubborn bambi, she wouldn’t let it go, “Fine. They were comin' back from a party and were high maybe -- car crashed badly dentin' towards the passenger’s side ‘n totally dislocated her jaw, now y’promise me you aren’t gettin' too worrisome ‘bout her because she’s okay.” Saying this he's cuddling back into her and she smiles a bit petting his back.

“Whatever, you say Dr. Styles.” He didn’t even need a tranquilizing tea anymore. Her warmth and squishiness was more than enough to lull him into a peaceful slumber.

..

It’s an otiose Saturday morning. Harry and Y/N just gobbled down oatmeal she made (topped with kiwis, mangoes and strawberries Harry brought from market and threw the bag in her lap) it had too much of coconut and sugar layer than necessary, according to Harry.

While she cleaned the countertops Harry fed and kissed the crowns of each one of their cat, yet again they were left with nothing to do —- that's how Y/N ended up straddling his waist, his jaw fit in her palm and his eyes half-open funnily as she applies a liner at his lid with her pink tongue poked out in concentration.

“Stop movin’,” She snits out in a huff and the skirts of his lips alleviates up into a cheeky evil grin, his hands pawing at her hips and his intentionally dirty gaze flitters down where her nipples are perking from the flimsy shirt and almost presses to his throat, “How'm supposed to when y’tits are ready to lactate me mouth?” Blush creeps up at her cheeks at his overweening and she wanted to give out an “Oh.” Instead grips his baby curls and steadies him, squishing his cheek in doing so as if he’s her toy.

“You better shut up, or ‘m gonna shove my feet up that smug mouth of yours.” She grumps to her own self when her fingers begins to twitch feeling her ear fill with hotness, “And what makes y’think ‘m not into that?” He rockets his brows priggishly with a grin that just screams he’s about to have a upper hand in this banter of their.

“Harry you disgraceful, man!” She whines trying to pull his face upright – he’s doing it on purpose trying to push her buttons and his eyes widens in feign hurt, “’M a very holy man!” His one eye adorned with charcoal coloured liner making him look adorable.

He’s far from any of that. They both know it. He’s a nerd slut if Y/N could put into words correctly.

“Yeah. Holy piece of a shit.” She grumbles pressing her bent knee into his side and quips a happy “Tada!!” grabbing the little from beside him and almost shoves it in his face demanding him to look at himself.

Harry brings his lips together and whistles looking at himself, “My murals should be painted everywhere in the city,” Y/N rolls her eyes. Nibbling down a scoff at his narcissism desperate to jump out and points at herself with a shrug of shoulders -- silently trying to telepath with him.

“What?” He murmurs nonchalantly angling his face to have a better look at him.

“Where’s the praise for artist?”

“Why need't when y'know ‘m an art myself.” His rims shine shamelessly and he nips the flesh of his cheek to stifle down a bashful cackle at her retort.

“You’re being too bold for a person who combusts in his pants just by getting his back scratched.” She arches her brow pruriently at him and he shakes his head, brushing the belly of his nose with his knuckle and when he gazes back at her -- she knows that she’s fucked fucked.

“Says who. The dirty little girl who's sitting on her bestfriend’s cock in her panties and shirt that’s doin’ nothin' but makin'y nipples button out shamelessly.” He tuts carnally, sinking into the plush cushions and man-spreads himself so wide Y/N could feel him pressing between her folds. His smirk rottenly sinful and evil and Y/N's palm automatically jams against his torso with a weepy mewl forehead falling against his clavicles.

She wanted to argue that he’s clad in boxers too but all of her sanity went out of the window when he teasingly grinded their crotches together.

“Y'want t'be treated like a bunny, who loves to hop on dick and fucked till you’re just a soft mush -- don't ya?” His hoarse drawl makes her bob her head eagerly making him chuckle and she’s tightening her thick thighs around his waist, hiding her face into the dive of his nice warm smelling neck and keeps her lips sponged to his skin making him grip on her hips with brutal force.

She’s just so sweet to Harry. A hot pink puddle at his mere touch and all clingy to him, shrinking into him with shyness and all of this just stirs his cock angrily sensitive.

He’s always getting a stiffy thinking about her and her honeyed taste he got to lap on and he's always smelling one of his pillows that has her fragrance loaded on it, while cupping his balls and stroking his cock lazily and hard, with other.

Though his assertive words wavers into a whimperish groan when Y/N takes her face out and gazes him with doe-warm eyes, “I w'na make you feel good.” Harry throbs under her and fattens against his own belly and feels her soaking against his boxers.

“Y'do? ‘s okay —.” His chest heaves with ragged breathes from anticipation and yearn and he knows that taking care of himself would be a torture if she’d tell him a, “no.” But then he isn’t that of a prick and is awfully happy to get what he’s getting, their infinite proximity.

His head teeters back and his pelvis buckles up when she clutched the hem of his sweatshirt and uttered a poutsih, “please..” She’s nourishing a breath and gazing up at him with glossy chocolate eyes blabbering while swivelling herself slowly ontop of him, “You’re looking s' pretty and cato eyes -—.. and you’re stuffed against me s'good. I want –- I want to make y'feel amazing.” Harry’s choking a growlish moan and the urge to just throw her on couch and snug his large cock deep within her.

Her brows pinches together and she has him grabbed from shoulders while she looks between them, listening to his purry hisses and lewd moans, it makes her redden her lip –- she could see his bulbous sherbet coloured tip coated in his own arousal wrestling out of his boxers as the fabric bunches and loosens down with each stroke of her cunt against him.

“Y'want to make me feel, amazin'? Fuck. You’re devastatin' me love -- yeah, mhmph hump me prick moppet.” Her eyelids lust filled and she moans against his chin as he breathes out a euphoric smile and Y/N gains a new confidence pushing herself down on his cock harder and firmer and faster.

The fabric of his boxers tickling his wet slit and he’s smushing his cheek into her soft chest, hugging and murmuring nonsense against her when Y/N sneaks her hand down and fills her hands with his heavy cum loaded balls and Harry doesn’t know how she was able to press him under the pad of her pinky in a span of minute.

Because he’s begging all for her mercy.

He howls a whine when she sucks his earlobe wetly and grazes it to speak in the sweetest yet licentious seductiveness and Harry’s almost naked under her, “Jeez. Hmm. Yes, just like that –- Bambi. My Bambi. Makes me feel — oh fuck!” His knuckles white from where he's groping the cheek of her ass and guiding her where her mound nudges him more good and drafts him straight to heaven.

“Tell me, huh. Who’s the dirty one now?” She smirks squeezing his balls yanking the sweaty ringlets on the base of his neck and they’ve their bodies on eachother, their hands on eachother and Y/N had an audacity to compete.

He’s trashing his spine into a curve and pulling her back down on his dick. She squeals when his cock grazes her pantie line and slips up and down against her cushiony thigh slobbering it with his pre-come.

“Me, me! Fuck .. pet, ‘s me ...” His hand tightens around her ribs and his hand tightens around her ribs and he’s dragging her back and forth -- socked toes curling and teeth gnawing at the pudding of her cheek. His thighs quaking and his strong forearms brings her closer to his chest, as the pressure coils in his stomach and the gentle caress and guttural bite on the slop of his collarbone was enough to burst spurts of cum in his boxers and it quenches onto his tummy and to the inside of her thighs making a sloppy mess.

“Shit.” He mutters through a chuckle. His chin butted atop her head and she giggles moving away.

Her shirt ridden up, her panties bunched up into her ass-cheeks and Harry admires her with a celestial flush on his skin and she circles her fingers together.

She just rode his prick dry and looks like she did the most innocent thing in the world.

“’M g'na go clean myself.” Harry smiles at her squealing pitch and then realization dawns upon him, she’s talking about his jizz on her tickling her skin getting flustered and knackered feeling it. Though, it’s not only his jizz but her panties are drenched into her own salvation making it see through and her wet pussy on display.

He just gulps and nod, like an atta puppy.

..

Lavish green leaves rustles together, the soil of green-belt moist and watered recently, early morning sky swirls of blues and it’s beautiful it really is the weather isn’t too sunny – the silence in his car is comforting too and the rum of his breath makes her feel nostalgic.

But, she wanted to sleep her arse off on Sunday and do nothing and be proud of being idle whole day. Harry had different plans though –- he was jumping on her bed making her wobble on it in her sleepy state and dragged her to washroom how much she whined and fought with him.

“Oh. C’mon now, muffin .. it’ll be fun, Ni would be there too.” He tries to reason her and she just brings her knees up into her and closes her eyes, muttering in monotone.

“Nothing’s fun about golfing, Harry.” It’s little get together of his colleagues and the doctors from his hospital and Harry thought he'd die from boredom if he wouldn’t bring her with him, he isn’t one bit of interested into old men talking about how their third wife drools over them – he isn’t very fond of lies.

“Not even me? How could y’say no to me?” He gasps dramatically. Scrunched his nose and twitches his lips in fake offend.

She opens her eyes for a moment and stares at him, “Just like that,” Pinches his elbow and shrugs nonchalantly.

“Harry, no.”

“Yeah, Whatever.” He rolls his lips between his fingers and takes a turn and when they reach he's putting sunglasses on the bridge of her nose, unfolding her arms that are wrapped around herself and nudges her to be less grumpy.

“’Ve a reputation yeah .. be less frumpy.” She pokes her tongue out and Harry lurches his hand forward scaring her that he'd grab it.

“Those dilfs already kisses the tips of my shoes.” She hops out of the car and clasps her hands atop of her head stretches out and yawns out loudly.

Harry’s head perks up alarmingly at that from the boot of his car and he swings the golfing kit on his shoulder and rolls his eyes from under his sunnies, pushing her forward with a small hand on her back.

“Yeah, more like grandpas.” The thought just makes him feel icky and utterly gross – imagining those old doctors —- no he completely wants to brain wash himself.

“Bet, their willies would need heavy assistance —-,” He’s grinning abrasively down at her and she winced swatting his chest, “Harry!” She’s wiggling out of his hold and striding towards where Niall is waving them in utter excitement.

Harry pouts and stomps behind her, calling out for her to slow down and scowls when a grin makes a way at her face as Niall hugs her.

Niall showed her his little nips and tricks. While Harry looked at them with needy eyes from far stuck between the bunch of boring doctors and dentists and his lips visibly downturns when Niall trips and Y/N’s falling on her bum, clutching onto her side with a belly aching laugh.

Ni helps her stand back and it was when a women in pink sports short and Nike tee trudged towards them and Harry at the same moment and Y/N just stares with confusion as they hug and she’s smiling up at him brightly.

“Sorry. I lost the time check.” Harry’s parting away with a shrug, “Not tha' somethin’ special occurred.” and Y/N’s doe-curious eyes remains fixed on them and he's introducing the unknown women to her and Niall’s poking her side to revive her back to mighty world.

“Muffy? She’s one of my colleagues, Holly.” Y/N startled a bit then gives out a nervous smile forwarding her hand to shake it with her and Holly’s pony flails comically from the action.

Soon, she’s turning her attention back towards Harry and smiling up at him questioningly, “Did you rest well after leaving the hospital on Friday?” Y/N just fumbles with Harry’s rings on her knuckles -- not sure if she should go back to golfing with Niall or stay to take part in little conversation because Niall is growing very antsy.

“Yeah. I did, actually .... very well if y'ask so,” Harry's shimmering gaze lurks back on Y/N and she internally groans when he smirks remembering the event and she wants to glare him from the side of her eye.

She’s stepping aside quickly when Holly passes by them and towards the table full of breakfast and beverages.

She pours two cups of coffee and adds two teaspoon of sugar, handing one to Harry and Y/N wants to retort that he doesn’t like coffee and hell not that amount of sugar.

“And Y/N what would y'like coffee, tea?” Holly asks her and Y/N just chuckles gingerly when Harry looks ike he's about to gag when he takes the first sip.

“I don’t drink coffee.” Holly looks like she just saw the end of the world and Y/N holds back from rolling her eyes at her, she's giving her an aura that she doesn’t like Y/N even a bit.

“No? Why?”

“Guess I never needed that much caffeine, my job doesn’t require staying up late and all that ...” Holly sips on her coffee and leans against a chair raising a her brow at her and then asks.

Her style being uptight and arrogant just not sitting right with, Y/N.

“What is your profession?” This ferals Y/N into her thinking pot, is that even a profession? She doesn’t really know and she’s in her own headspace when Harry’s soft eyes worms back to his bambi and his eyes glints with ever proud and his smile toothy and bunny as he puts the cup aside speaking with a hint of fond.

“She’s an artist. A very talented one.” Holly arches her brow at him and hums then looks back at her -- as if she didn’t heard him right.

“So, you make art for living?”

“I do it beacuse I like doing it, just like you.” Y/N chips up and Harry just thinks his admiration grows terribly more every day for her -- because of the passion about anything she holds in that big heart of hers, the way her cheeks rubies up and brows sets into concentration.

That shuts Holly and her train of personal irritating questions.

“Hey! We aren’t here fo' some princess tea party -- can we please, go back to golfing!?” Niall finally bursts like a balloon from annoyance and Y/N's giggling and hooking her arm into his elbow, “You’re sucha cry baby.” She coos and tries to walk him back to pitch but then her gait stutters when Holly asks Harry in an expectant tone.

“Did you like my present?” Why does it layers her chest with mucky awful feeling, her stomach itself tottering and she just huffs thinking how that present sits in her drawer and she’s the one that wears it instead of Harry.

“Oh, I liked it, thank you.” Fucking liar. Y/N just shakes her head and chuckles ironically because he forgot about it the moment he gave it to her.

Y/N’s toes itches with an impulse to expose Harry infront of her.

Where’s that feisty Harry ready to bite anyone expect her and his little group of friends? What did this job do to him? Oh my goodness! Why Y/N is hating all of this so much, why why why!?

Y/N's completely being an over dramatic (she knows that) but she couldn’t help but be bitter about this Holly “oh I could woo Harry just by giving him some beanies from an overly expensive brand.” Gahk! Not in a millennia.

“’Kay, pet now you make yer goal.” Niall shouts squinting to get rid of sunlight in his eyes and Y/N was so engulfed in thinking of how the slight interest and undivided attention of Harry towards Holly makes her feel woozy and something that’s indescribable, until now. That’s when someone came behind her bended figure she – almost making her squeal but he’s shushing her sweetly -- the corner of his lips pressing to the side of her hairline and he takes in her fresh lilies scent.

Two soft beautiful boned structure hands comes raking from her shoulders down her wrists, jostling her almost as he wraps his hands around her sweaty ones and brings the golf club back in air.

“Let's fill those holes together,” His smooth rasp prickles the hair on her body in a most stinging way and she's subsiding down a blush, frowning and unfrowning to concentrate back on playing -- but it’s a fucking torture when his bulging member prominent from his tight little shorts lines up against her bum teasingly.

He was very aware of the big problem that stood between them and she’s turning with his arms still on either side of her -- doing a little knocking on his chest to gain his attention.

“You’ve —-... umm ..” She stammers. Cheeks peachy and her smile nervous. Harry hums in dither gazing down at her softly and that flusters her to living heavens.

Then his eyes follows where she’s staring in curiosity and gentleness and as if she’s ready to take him in her mouth right then and there.

He’s got a stiffy and that in public!

“Oh shit. Sorry, I wasn’t awa —-,” He's creating a little distance between them but she’s quick to grab the hem of his shirt and pulling him closer back to her, “No. No. ‘s okay. I could ‐—.. I could help you ....,” She mutters in a tizz with a hitchy breath and Harry’s dimples indents, cushy smile dancing on his lips and his pinky’s swiping the loose tresses behind her ear.

“If you want to...” She doesn’t know what’s making her more anxious the fact he'll brush her off or that he'll accept her help, but this latter option fills her insides with gales of mushiness and it makes her unsettle her footing.

“I’d love that.” He grins and she’s smiling up at him and Harry screams internally like a teenager at how she manages to be so tender and silken like a gorgeous doll in the most filthiest situations.

He keeps her infront of him to hide the potential tent in his shorts that appeared from no-where, he's being sly and clearly knows that where it came from --- from gawking her peach ass till it wasn’t printed in his mind and he didn’t even know when he was drooling at the thought of squishing her asscheeks and rolling his thumb against her puckering hole and imagining her cute lil whines for him to bore down his thumb into her till she feels his lion ring against her flesh, throwing her hips at him more —- shut up!

Though when the group of men stops them with their evil gazes on his little bambi and they’re smirking up at Harry in mischievousness, “Where you sneakin' Y/N too?” They hollered and Harry had to ball his hand on her hips and bite back from rolling his eyes sharply and rudely,

Because who the fuck they’re to ask? He could take her anywhere and why they do act like they fucking know Y/N from summat eternity, that makes him want to snap at these snobs and warn them not to ever take a step near her.

Ofcourse, he’s very well aware that their intentions towards his sweet bestfriend are evil and filthy -- he wants to punch each one of them at that.

“Just to show ‘er the lake behind,” He's giving them a tight lipped smile and leaving them baffled without giving them more to talk and Y/N giggles at his huffy-ness and pets his knuckles feeling his skin beginning to fume and turn hot against her neck.

Moments later, he's sitting on the bench of empty steam room carmine lips parted and plush are mooched to Y/N's upper belly, his long arms tipsy around her thighs and hair floppy caramel and his palm splays on the side of her waist under her shirt coveting his nails lightly into her pudgy skin – as her soft hand stays dipped into his shorts and she strokes him in gradual pace.

He’s jerking back hitting his head against the vertical mirror that covers the whole wall when she presses her thumb into his palpating tip of cock to coax out his white stickiness and uses it to coat and lube his dick and caress it, “’S’okay c’mere, honey. You’re okay.” She coos cupping the nape of his neck and brings him back to let him bury his face into her pulpy body and kisses his hair, sliding her hand under his jaw to soothe him.

Harry moans uncontrollably and tries to muffle them with choked sobs upon hearing her go all soft on him and he thinks, “honey” Is his new favourite word from now on coming from her mouth and he wants to be called honey from her all the time.

She doesn’t know where the confidence of sweet talking to him came from but the menace for Holly and her being overly sugary with him, just poked her in weird place and she wants to claim where he belongs.

To her.

Always her.

“Bet, your big cock was all achy and weepy for my attention.” She pouts slopping all the way down to his chubby shaft and tightens her grip jerking him speedily. Harry bobs his head vigorously and eagerly hugging her ever close and babbles wetly so she scratches his scalp and almost raises her hips into him when his happy and satisfied mewls fuses into her ears.

“Been —-.. been, fuck!” He gasps bolting shut his eyes when she widened her slick palm down and massaged his heavy taut balls – shaking them playfully with a giggle bitten down her throat, “Been thinkin' ‘bout you whole lot – yer such a doll.” He sighs and she sponges a peck to the side of his forehead.

“Yeah?” Her eyes glints with adore and meekness for him and when he nods with euphoric slipped eyes and rosy cheeks snuggling himself into her she mighty cried a lil.

“G’na cum for me? In my hand? Been treating you so good, honey. Love your cock –- always oozy and slick for me and your moans —- can y'moan fo' me? Show them on whose pinky you’re wrapped on.” She’s breathless but the tenderness and fondness in her voice never fades and Harry’s almost tomato grinding his hips on the bench fucking himself into her palm and brags his teeth together hissing through it.

“G'na cum. G’na cum fo'y and —- oh!” Guttural heavy loud moans are eliciting down his tongue and he’s groaning and whimpering and thrashing under Y/N shooting his gloopy spunk inside her palm and she doesn’t stop, coating his whole eternity with his own cum and digs out some more droplets from his tummy to soak into the pride that she’s the reason he’s this fucked up and ravenous and shaking under her.

She’s throwing her legs on either side of his thighs next and he’s gazing at her intensely from under his thick lashes with lovingness all slumped against the mirror and she’s ducking down to stitch her nose up against his nose and giving him an eskimo kiss and Harry’s lips accommodating back for a nice breather are tingling to lean in and place them on hers in a dotting heart swarming kiss but a knock's interrupting them and she’s quipping back a squeal and jumping on her toes.

Guess she'd just clean her fingers by licking them since there’s no water.

..

Y/N was painting one of her commission works and for her coming exhibition when Truggers came meowing at her and scraping onto floor, “What d'you want bub?” She asks wiping her fingers on the rag and puts the brush into water cup.

She follows Truggers to their bassinet and almost slips straining her ankle from rushing panicked towards Tum who's jerking in his sleeping position.

She hawks in shock, fear and trembling horror. Her ears deafening. She’s shouting at him and shaking him with tears in her eyes, “Tums? Tummies? Baby!! Wake up!” She cries but the cat doesn’t respond.

“No. No. No!!” She shakes her head sobbing loudly bringing her knees up to her chest and holds her head in her hand not knowing what to do, she calls Rori and she doesn’t even know how much time passed and Rori's hugging her and comforting her taking other kittens to room so they don’t see Tums.

“Call Harry! Call him, please, please, please .... Rori ....” She sobs feeble and painful into Rori's neck and she shushes Y/N. She really tries to but she knows that only Harry could manage to calm her down and she rings him many many times but he doesn’t pick up.

“Harry! I’ve been calling you for ages for fuck’s sake where are you?” So, when he's excusing himself telling that he was having lunch and Holly’s voice is booming through Rori's phone Y/N’s heart drops and shatters into gazillion pieces.

She may not be in right mind, but she’s seriously hurt because Harry never in million years ignore her calls.

Guess having lunch was far important than her or her calls.

It just makes her cry more.

“Wait. What’s happening?” Goosebumps layers on his skin when he hears Y/N crying and he walks away without telling Holly he’s heading out.

“Harry ... Tums, he died in his sleep.” Harry halts in his tracks. Staring at the parking sign blankly and his eyes fills with tears and his breath shudders as he tries to speak, “’M coming.”

..

Rori left and took Tums with her after tucking Y/N in bed and making sure she’s okay.

Her ears perks up when the door clicks softly accompanied by low sniffles and it pools more moisture in her eyes and the tears trick down her chin and onto pillow — because hearing him cry is just so agonising.

“Muffy ...” The mattress dips behind her and he’s scooching close to her planting his cheek against her shoulder.

His warmth melts her but she recoups wiping her eyes dry and wavers in a thorny voice, “Go away.” She distances herself from him and turns stiff.

“Moppet, please ...” He protests and she hampers herself from snapping at him.

“Go away, Harry. Leave!!” She's muffling her cries into pillow and when she faces him – Harry's chin wobbles because his muffy looks terrible and awfully sad and it’s breaking him weakly and perfectly.

“Why don’t y'go back to whatever you were doing with Holly!” She gasps moistly for a breather and Harry stands up, nose red and runny and eyes bloodshot.

“Jus’ say yer’ jealous.” He wants to be fierce with her about what she said but his voice barely comes out without being shaky and his heart is full of sorrow.

“And if I say I’m, then what?” She’s pathetically hiccupping (continuously) so much her neck hurts and she has never sound so uncertain and pleading and expectant to know if he might love her?

That if there’s something more between them than just providing eachother pleasure and being eachother’s missing half when they were lonely.

More, than just two bestfriends being eachother’s back of the hand.

He doesn’t respond and she shouts for him to stop and answer her and throws a cushion towards him, but he just leaves her to it.

Harry’s just worried she isn’t ready to take either of his confessions well.

..

Snowy sits in her lap. Max and Luna (Rori's girlfriend) are wrestling onto the mattress they took from Harry's bed and laid on the floor, (which he'd grump about when he'll be too pissy to move it back in the late night).

He’s been cranky and acting proper ratty with anyone and everyone he comes to interact with since that day.

He felt like his world turned upside down because now everything’s just against him, his milk gets soggy every morning and all of his socks and hoodies are at his little thief's home and snowy takes revenge from him for hurting Y/N by pissing on his shoes everytime he’s about to leave.

Cherry on creamy top!

He just couldn’t stop thinking about his bambi and might have chewed his fourty years old assistant ears with his rambling of Y/N and his endearment for her and unfortunately he just ficked up bad.

“’M so hungry. If Ni will cheat another round on me, I’ll be munching on his toes!!” Y/N exclaims huffing out and kicking Niall in shin as they were playing Mario cart and he’s been winning for an hour just by his cheating tricks.

They all got together after many days at Harry’s flat while he was at the duty and he promised them that he’d bring pizzas with him and now it’s almost 12 and they’re waiting and waiting in anticipation for him to arrive.

When the door knob jiggles everyone’s jumping up and scrambling closer to the door because they all are that hungry and Harry’s hands are piled with pizza boxes, soon their hungry excited expressions are dulling into annoyance and viscid displeasure when Holly peeks from behind Harry.

Still all of them manage to plant fake smiles and everyone’s greeting her.

“What took you guys s'long?” Y/N speaks lowly through a forced smile the one that doesn’t reaches her eyes and doesn’t make them appear as they are pools of earthly soil, “Oh .. we just stopped to buy some muffins -- Harry told me how much you like them, Bambi.” Oh fuck. There goes the pressure cooker blasting and rattling through each and every wall of this room and the tension thickens around and Luna's coughing and everyone is just treading back to their spots awkwardly and with disappointed sorry sighs for Holly because if before Y/N didn’t hold a grudge against Holly now she’d.

Because, for fuck’s sake!!! Nobody, calls her that except Harry!

It was their own intimate little sweet love name that Harry calls her and her only.

Not even their friends.

Not even Niall.

Just him.

Him.

Him.

And.

Him.

Now, she just came from out of the fucking blue and popped their bubble of intimacy and Y/N feels like one of those anime characters where they've a frown hanging on their head larger than their size and there’s fire enveloping them before she bursts out in rage and scream at Holly and Harry too.

She sighs. She’s far better than creating a scene and gladly accepts the box of muffins from Holly whose smile is overly sugar coated and this is what Harry says when he tells her he doesn’t like sugar in much amount – it’s irksome, Y/N’s talking about humans specifically.

“’s not even my favourites.” She mumbles staring at the vanilla strawberry muffins and Holly just shrugs and Harry gets tensed keeping his voice hushed while Rori and Him unboxes the pizzas in the kitchen, “Just thought a change would be good.” Y/N’s throat clogs up just at that. She finds it hard to even gulp down the piercing emotions piling up there.

Y/N just hates changes.

Holly wants to change everything about Harry and his surroundings, even this dinky flat he lives in —- he’s a dentist why’d he live here?

Holly tries not to grimace.

“You know Y/N hates changes, Harry I know that you guys might not be serious but we all are well aware that you too —-- fuck, Harry! Why are you fucking it up!” Rori whisper yells at him as they throw the empty boxes frantically and hurriedly to go back to living room and handle the situation before it gets out of hand.

“Ontop of that. Why did ya bring, Holly with you!? She isn’t ... well she isn’t much par to any of our likings.” Harry just runs his hands through his curls and he knows that it’s afflicting Y/N, his baby muffy who wouldn’t even see him in eye since that incident and he really wishes that all of this ends soon.

“What d'I do!? she’s my staff head and I’ve to play nice to her.” He squeaks out in a bit panic and he’s exhausted and tired and really running out of his Bambi's cuddles but she wouldn’t even let him set foot in her flat.

Even though how much he argued that, “Remember y’said this’s our one big home? Well I could be in me home whenever I want.”

Though when they're out with bright smiles and announcing that food is here, acting as if him and Rori didn’t just had an ASMR argument in kitchen.

Harry’s heart. The each chamber of his heart got cut up into pieces and fell somewhere in his stomach when he hands the plate to Y/N and she takes it without meeting his eyes, starving him off her sweet butterflies wooshing smile and tries to avoid from getting any physical contact between their fingertips and cuddles back into Ni's side as if she’s utterly cold.

She’s jealous and hurt and furious that Harry has mighty revealed their intimate nitty gritty details to Holly.

All of that aside. She’s very sad and lost and feels lonely all over again because she has no-idea that what are they, where they stand out of their bestfriends bubble and if whatever happened between them was fever dream?

“What happened, pet? Not hungry? Y'were ‘bout to munch us alive seconds ago.” Niall chuckles gingerly and nudges her as she just hovered her pizza on her plate and never brought it to her mouth.

Harry wipes his hand on his jeans listening that and Holly’s side eyeing him gauging for his reaction and her face hitches up into displeasure when he stands up and strides towards Y/N in two long steps.

“D'ya want another flavour? Is it cold? We could order somethin' else if you want to ....” His voice caring and antsy and he’s contemplating whether to sit beside her and coax her to eat but she’s chewing onto it and shrugging, speaking with a mouth full and yet again never sparing him a single glance.

“No, ‘m good.”

Holly judges Y/N’s battiness and locks up the urge to roll her eyes at this girl who Harry’s so whipped for -- she could ramp him under her feet (which Y/N would never – Holly’s just a mean ass who likes to think negatively about everyone) and he'd still beg her to do it all over again.

Holly just loves to be a victim in situations where she doesn’t even have a role, but still tries to fit in as a victim.

The truth is. She wants Harry bad. And, it’s all written clear on her face.

Their hang out didn’t take the route they planned for it to be and Y/N was heading out early conscious of Harry’s gaze on her all the time when Rori yelled enthusiastically with a bright proud grin, “Everyone's invited to Y/N's painting exhibition on Sunday, aren’t we Y/N!?”

Harry’s head snaps towards each of his friends like a lost puppy and when all of them are smiling and nodding their heads in agreement his eyes just brawls out and he feels like crying and throwing a tantrum because she didn’t tell him about it! and even if not, he didn’t got a chance to be the first one to tell her how proud he’s of her.

Rori winces when Harry rushes behind Y/N and the door's shutting behind leaving them in awkward silence again.

“You didn’t care t’tell me? ‘s such a big mo' fo'y.” He scowls. Folding his arms infront of his chest and Y/N grumbles stomping her feet onto floor.

“You were too busy —-..”

He knows what’s about to come next. The taunt and fight and something heartbreaking that’d slip from their tongues and hurt them brutally and part them away, “Baby.” He’s sighing rubbing the knot on his forehead and him calling her baby was enough to mush her into a candy floss.

“Yell at me. Punch me. Brake me nose. D'ye thing but pleaseee don’t gimme a silent treatment ...,” His eyes glossy and Y/N kinda feels remorseful and she might not give into him that easily but she isn’t to be blamed because she’s just so putty in his embrace and he could win her heart all over again as many times he wishes.

Though when she’s speaking to him after long period of four days and nine hours and cursing him out he’s still very thankful and gleeful grinning and scooping her up in his arms, “You’re a downright asshole you know that? One of our baby cat died and you were too busy havin' lunch with that, witch.” She isn’t hiding her hatred for Holly anymore and Harry cackles infuriatingly loud and brushes his cheek against her neck.

“’M sorry. Not g'na do tha' evea' again swear on me life.” He mumbles coherently.

“Promise?”

“Promise.” He’s hooking their pinkies together and kissing them to seal the affirmation.

..

Harry loves BDSM. Something he explored upon lurking around a sex club when he was right about to turn eighteen, of which oh so Y/N's savvy about from all those nights where she could be able to hear guys and girls howling like they got fucking murdered even sitting in the farthest cubby of her own home.

She'd not argue to him about that because of her shyness and second the music that she used to blast through speakers while painting, so they were equal.

He was quite peculiarly never interested in having romantic relationships with people -- he was just interested in what’s between their legs and sometimes their mouth.

But with Y/N. With Y/N he wants to make love to her. Lit sweet warm scenting candles that’d sheen their skins with ardour and have vases filled with flowers and cook her a dish she likes – then they share a glass of wine (optional) if they want to remember it all.

He wants to have every nice and warm thing with her, things he never got to experience.

He wants to love.

To love her.

He never really exposed himself to words like amity, adoration and intimacy. Thinks that those words are too big for his heart which’s too compact for someone to build a home in.

He hated certain stuff. On purpose. Like scrabble when his father and his friends made fun of him for liking scrabble and he kicked that shit so hard it tensiled into space — or he thinks so because he never saw it laying on his childhood floor ever after that.

Then again, Y/N came into his life and brought his scrabble back (teased him that she stole it from some kid that lives downfloor) they play whenever they could and ends up fighting everytime because, zzz isn’t a word but Harry claims it is for people who snores like they're gonna choke into their pillow next moment.

He hated interacting with people. Don’t even have an idea how he got these bunch of maniacs as his friends and then Y/N, he just thinks she’s made specially for him only carved from the cream of tenderness, beauty of love and sent upon to him like an Angel.

Harry hates sugar. But, yet again he likes no scratch that -- he loves Y/N so it doesn’t even matter.

At the moment when he’s crowded by gushing and whispering and laughing people. Praising and chatting and loving on his Bambi —- he feels like the word hate never existed in his life because all he could feel his heart is floating in copious amount of love for his Bambi as he stands in the corner letting his eyes admire her in affection.

He takes a sip of white wine from his glass and hisses when plays with his earlobe out of instinct and ends up prodding himself from where he pierced his ear two hours ago.

A smile so tiny but full of elation and lilac-ness twirls on his relaxed face upon reminiscing it – his eyes falling at her trousers and he gives himself an imaginary pat on back.

“You’re gonna repay me by ironing my trousers.” She told him standing between his parted legs and he scooted closer to the edge of counter and grabbed her teeny hands compared to his's and puts them over his thick thighs, “Whateva' y'say ma'am. ‘course now ye’re ‘bout to become a sexy artist with her own gallery ‘n all tha’.” He smirked and she rolled her eyes dabbing the cotton ball with alcohol and swapped his soft earlobe with it.

“’S not mine.” She murmurs and Harry woven his fingers with her's and tugged her forward. Lips brushing her temple and he shrugged, speaking, there’s nothing for her to be insecure about, if no one's proud of her, he is, he always gonna be, “Does it matter? Those paintings are yours. That room will be filled with your talent – ye're g'na own one soon, mark me words.” His grip tightened when she rubs her hand at his chest to warn him beforehand and he feigned that he’s scared and horrified to make her anxious about it.

“You’re sick in head you know that?” She mumbles grounding down the shakiness of her wrist as she poked the needle through his earlobe and his voice just did a lil loopy-loop as he spoke, “Yeah ... many patients tell me when I don’t give ‘em enough anaesthetic and rip their teeth out.” She blinked up at him with wide eyes and smacked him when he just slumped down against the mirror if nothing happened, his rims floaty and blown out.

Sometimes he jokes too seriously it startles, Y/N.

“You could say an ouch, atleast. Big man.” She giggled taking the needle out and puts a black cross earning after cleaning his brand new piercing, “Ouchhh!” He moaned out dramatically, fingers gliding down his skin under his eyes to reveal pink flesh and blue veins and his eyeballs.

“You’re an ass! Now go iron my trousers D’ya want me to go bottomless?” She chortled out loudly and her laugh boomed through the small washroom when Harry’s hand spanked her bum playfully, “Perhaps tha’ is what I’d never want in any case – even if I’ve to showcase me bum to everyone.”

“Harry?” She’s gazing up at him with deer eyes and tugging at his blazer to gain his attention, “Everyone’s gone?” He looks behind to get the sight of their friends laughing and chatting.

“Yeah.” Harry’s heart tweaks upon hearing her exhausted and sluggishly soft voice. She giggles into his cheek when he slings his arm around her shoulder and runs his nose up and down her head walking towards their equally tipsy friends.

“Everyone lets bunch up to give, Muffy a cuddle.” Harry drawls out. His warm breath tickling her neck and everyone just roars out gathering around them and giving them a big bear hug and Y/N's eyes turns glossier because she’s feel so loved and cared.

Just because of Harry.

When they see off their friends, Y/N isn’t rushing back to her agency’s manager to ask how much paintings she sold instead she’s snuggling into Harry’s embrace and let’s him escort them out and into the cool wind.

“You really deserve chocolate muffins, don’t ya, pet?” His chin doubles as he tries to take a look at her satisfied and relaxed face as they trod on the side of road like two penguins providing heat to eachother.

They’ve drunk quite a nice amount of bevvies. Enough that mighty would make them forget the events that are happening now and that’s nice because they could be embarrassing and cringey with having to think about it later.

“No.” Harry grabs her hand that was about to push the door of the lil bakery and she’a huffing up at him and swatting his hand away with a loud thwack, “’M an independent woman, H.” He just slides her hand away -- retorting with a smile, “And’m a gentleman.”

She squints up at him with scrunched up pouty lips and he’s mimicking her squinting her square in the eye. The clock ticks by and they break into a hand wrestling and he’s squeaking out childishly when she pinches his wrist but he’s coming back with scissor fingers demanding her to do a “stone, papers, scissors.” Fight with him.

When he’s wiggling his fingers in fire gesture she’s groaning out and throwing her arms in air, “Fire beats everything!!” He yells duckishly and spins around doing a little dance.

“Fine.” She grumps folding her arms around her torso and he’s ducking down to smooch annoying kisses to her cheeks and all over face.

Harry’s forearms remains roped around her waist and his chin rests ontop of her head, her back stays pressed to his taught warm chest whole time. Every two minutes or so she raises the muffin she’s eating to his lips and he’s taking a chunky bite out of it as they trod their way back home.

“Dun, dun dun dunnnn, do do ...” She giggles when he sways them. His chest rumbling with his deep drunk octave and she cups his cheek.

“What you singing, honey?” He just giggles clinging to her and hides his face into her neck – murmurs then takes himself out of her fragrance and shouts into the air.

“The pink panther’s song!!” She woofs out a laugh at that and he shoves his face into his palm, wheezing out cutely, “I'know y'laughin' ‘cos ‘m sayin' stupidddd things.....,”

The bunny vociferous laughs that emits from their bellies, tumbles them to the ground and the moment they look towards eachother they burst into more giggles.

Y/N scrambles towards where he’s clutching his side and rolls to face her and she crawls up his chest.

It feels good to waste time on the footpath when their hold on eachother’s this soft, warm and meaningful and full of love.

Their cheeks coral, their grins achy and their eyes gleamy ---- hands wandering and comforting eachother, cuddly and sottish and cosy laying right outside their the homes building.

He hugs her closer to him. She snuggles herself into him and worms into a touch starved shrimp and the words are on the tip of his tongue, they’ve been shown in his sentiments with zeal and passion in past and now they’re bouncing in his chest.

Though, he gulps them back.

He really couldn’t.

“I love you,” It flows away in the wind but she catches onto it and flies with it and pushes herself up on his chest blinking in perplexed rapture.

He’s breathing it out again. This time maybe slurry from inebriation but clear and audible, “oh my god baby .... I love you s'fuckin’ much.” He cradles her face in his palms and slides his forehead against hers.

“You love me?” She whispers and he giggles at her bewildered expression and bobs his head, “That’s what ‘m sayin' pet.”

She knows that she loves him too. More than anybody. Every inch of her body soaks into the word love for him.

She pauses for a moment, “How — but, I mean –- What did I do?” He just shrugs, “Dunno.” His dimples foaming deep and pretty.

“I just think we would be a good us,” At that her head perks up kitten like and she moulds her palms around his either side of neck as if he’s her warm chocolate cuppa, she smiles slowly, “We'd be a wonderful us.” Her gaze glitters on his wine moisturized pink lips and she gives him an eskimo kiss.

“Gimme a kiss then,” She demands pursuing her lips adorably but he shakes his puff of curls and pushes her face back gently, “No!” Her brows pinches together at that and she pokes his dimple pouting sadly.

“But, why?”

“I don’t wanna forget our first kiss.” He whines and paws at her hips to bring her back closer to him and she giggles muttering a silly under her breath and tries to tempt him.

“Kiss me, in this way ... we could have our firsts twice!” He gives into her mischievous offer and sighs cradling her face in his hold and murmurs against the corners of her lips, “Only ‘cos you’re cute and wouldn’t stop peskin'.” She’s grinning and pulling him with her hands and smashing her petal lips against his's, their eyelids springs close and he’s squishing her chasing to deepen the kiss and when she's parting away he’s rushing to peck her lips right back to kiss her more.

“I could really cry just by kissin' you, moppet.” He licks the spots of chocolate from her chubby bottom lip and bites it and she’s melting her mouth again over him, kissing him delicately and sweetly having a certain desire and yearn to just star into one soul that balms there tummies.

“W’na kiss you forever.”

Harry never believed into forevers.

Then Y/N wrapped him in her oh so Y/N-ish blanket and now he wants everything with her for, forever.

“Oh. Hush baby. You’re gonna gimme a tooth ache.”

..

Y/N regrets saying that. Because she’s waking up with a headache, blurry vision and churning stomach ontop of every pain the ache in her tooth came to bite her in ass and she’s hissing grabbing her cheek to soothe it down.

“Fuck my —- damn hell ...” She mutters when even the slightest of air in her mouth stings her tooth like a bitch and it dollops tears on the corners of her eyes because she has never gone through a toothache before.

She’s bargaining in Harry’s flat and into his room and he’s properly wafted, face smashed into his elbow as he wheezes through his parted mouth. She’s shaking him gently because the shrivelling drive of pain is growing after every second.

“Harry!” He’s jolting up and snapping his head in every direction instantly his sleepy gaze melts on her (a sight he'd like to have every morning) but she looks rather rotten with a nest on her head and her last night’s clothes crumbled and when she's quipping an, “It hurts Harry ....” With teary eyes, He’s immediately scurrying closer to her and holding her -- confused at first.

“What's hurtin', pet?” He mumbles groggily and she sniffs, “My tooth –- fuck.”

He sighs knuckling at his eyes and kisses her hair throwing the duvet away, “Sit here yeah? ‘m g'na wash me hands real quick and check it, hmm?” He wipes the corner of her eyes and massages her shoulder -- then unfists her hands to make her release some tension and puts them on her knees.

He’s muttering a, “Good girl.” When she nods obediently and watches his back as he trudges inside the washroom.

Coming back with towel in his hands and throws it on the bed while sitting on his knees and adjusts her between them.

“Can y'open a bit mo' f'me, darling?” He asks gently caressing her hip to loosen her up. He already knows what's about to come next and he’s afraid she’s going to be very batty about the procedure, “Aaaaa.” She practically makes the noise trying to part her jaw as far as she could while Harry’s hand remains intact around it inspecting her mouth and she’s anxious that she has a morning breath but the memories of all those time she would practically drool on his cheeks while sleeping makes her feel less awful about it,

He chuckles tapping lightly on her upper moral, “Ow!” She swats his hand away when his action physically makes her whole body go through a pang.

When she looks up at him with ticked brows and huffy pout biting the flesh of her cheek between her two morals to just do something -- anything to get rid of the pain, Harry rubs the frown away with a grimace and brings her for a hug.

“’M s' sorry baby. But, looks like it’ll need a root canal.” If his bambi wouldn’t be in such pain he indeed would have lectured her and thrown away every sweetened thing in her jars out of the window.

“Can y'endure a lil pain and wait till my last appointment? So, I could take care of you afterwards.” He asks her lovingly and his reasoning makes butterflies erupt in Y/N’s belly and she almost almost forgot about her toothache but then it pangs again and she’s hugging him tighter mumbling into him, “Sure.”

He’s making her change her clothes and made her porridge letting it cool down to a temperature where it wouldn’t stick or ache her teeth.

“Y/N ...” He glowers at her sternly when she pushes his hand away holding the painkillers and that intense ferocious glare where his soft jade eyes are turning into something very dark is enough to tell her that if she’s not taking them, there's a big scold coming and after that no leniency for an argument so she takes it without throwing another tantrum.

After making sure she’s fed well and tucked into bed he’s stroking her hair and massaging her head, adjusting her pillow as she likes, kissing the tip of her nose as he murmurs.

“Rori will be pickin’ y’up sharp at 5. Told her to wake you up gently if you’ll be sleepin’.” Her eyes are dreamily glassy and she smiles lightly and she’s already missing his touch on her skin when he stands back up ready to leave.

She really wanted to say it.

Dying to say it, infact.

But all that came from her mouth was, “I’m gonna miss you.” Earning a giggle from him in return.

“G’na miss you terribly too.”

..

Rori drove Y/N to hospital. She’s still in Harry’s clothes that he made her wear in the morning, a black galaxy sweater and wide loose pants a beanie on her head to protect her from a headache and when the receptionist waves her enthusiastically upon her arrival Y/N’s smiling but never opening her mouth knowing the bitch would be back.

“Dr. Styles went for a staff on-call. He'll be here any moment, you could go inside.” Y/N’s nodding and padding inside his room. The pain has lessened a bit and that gives her teensy energy to wander around his room admiring his lil achievements, the medal he won last year and right beside it the pen holder she gave him it that has a “HORRAY TAKE BABY STEPS BABY STEPS HONEY!!” written obnoxiously on it as if she’s screaming it to his face and she giggles at her own silly gift.

She gasps and ends up knocking her hip into his desk as Harry steps in and laughs loudly at her, tutting with a shake of his head, “Jumpy little thing you’re.” Out of habit his hands are falling at her hips and bringing her closer.

“How’re y'muffy?” He asks and she’s bobbing her head up and down dramatically but silently making him chuckle.

“’Kay get yourself comfy on the seat ‘m gonna call my assistant t’give you anesthetic.” He suppresses a smile when she worms her bum up the slippery seat and goes on pushing different buttons moving it up and down.

“How adventurous.” He snickers switching the examination lamp and she rolls her eyes. His assistant’s eyeing them with happy eyes from under her glasses and Harry’s putting his latex gloves aside as she fills the injection and Y/N's muscles tenses up in anticipation, as she tries to blink the fear away and musters up a weak smile.

Knowing she has a fear of needles. Harry rolls the stool he’s sitting on closer to her and interlaces their fingers together, he coos sweetly, “It’ll be just a pinch baby.” Though, Y/N thinks Harry’s a motherfucking liar because it apparently is not just a pinch but feels like a stick shoved up your ass.

When the assistant leaves them to fetch something, Harry’s stroking the fringes of her hair behind with benevolent and caring eyes and smiles down at her sincerely.

“I want y'to relax, moppet. Yeah? Could y'do tha' f'me?” This time when he’s poking or prodding she isn't slapping him away and he’s grateful because that means her gums are numb properly.

He’s caressing her arm to assure her that she has nothing to be afraid about when she startles hearing the buzz of instrument that’s about to rip her poor gum apart.

Surprisingly she was easy. Because, Harry was so gentle with her and when he’s ushering her to spit in the little sink and she’s laying back with cloudy eyes and a grin Harry just knows the anaesthesia is kicking in.

It means that she’s allowed to blabber every dumb thing to him (she doesn’t need anaesthesia for it by the way), without any filter and timidness she’s about to chatter his brain alive.

Her gaze slowly rakes down his torso as if she’s undressing him with her eyes and she’s grinning -- more blood pooling in her mouth, “You look very handsome in scrubs — you know that?” Her words wobblish but full of naughtiness and Harry arranges them himself barking out a delighted laugh when she tugs at hem of his clothes perking her lips.

“I could really kiss you right now....” Her voice clear with desire but a hint of neediness and fondness for him and he’s gazing her down with gleamy endearment and snorts bringing the water cup to her lips, “Sorry Bambi but don’t like kissing a bloody mouth.” She keeps her doe eyes on him and they turn sad while she gurgles the water in her puffed up cheeks and spits it again into sink, about to protest with him but he’s shushing her and laying her back onto the seat.

“Not even me?” She grumps up at him and he’s retorting shaking his head in rejection, he's just trying to rile her up because he himself thinks that a single peck wouldn’t hurt.

“You’ll get an answer to this after we're done with you,” He muses softly when her eyes flicker with glee.

She was all over him as if she’s a small baby who needs his guidance to walk her way out and Harry was waving his staff goodbye with nervous lamblike smile while he tries to balance her against his chest.

The whole ride back he refrained from cooing and making im-a-fool-who-is-shamlessly-in-love noises. How could he not? When she looks this cute and cuddly in his clothes, head lulling every once a while as she sleeps facing him, her hand on his thigh to keep her reminded of his presence.

Harry’s grabbing it and kissing her knuckles. A jolly smile fluttering on his features and he isn’t waking her up as the reach and takes her into his flat – flumps her down on his bed gently and gets rid of her shoes and sweater.

Even skips dinner. Gets out of his work clothes and takes a glance of his sleepy girl standing from the wardrobe and the light clicks off before his gangly body is sliding under the duvets beside her.

Warm, sweet and cosy.

His all day's exhaustion fuses into nothingness when his feet comes caressing her calves and his chest presses to her shoulders and his elbows shelters around her in a protecting loving manner.

His heart hiccups a happy beat when she turns to his side and snuggles into him murmuring in haze, “Love you.”

He trips into utter shock. Staring down at her with baffled eyes but then the memories from past night comes upon crashing down at him like a crystal wave of ocean and floats him to an island where he belongs, always fated to belong.

He confessed his love for her.

She confessed it back.

They both were stupid and forgot it.

Now when she’s telling him that she loves him Harry feels like he’s rather about to pass out or squeal into pillow.

“I love you too, baby.” He's just wrapping her closer to him and lingering a wet kiss to her forehead.

..

Y/N’s moral was grinded, she keeps on swiping her tongue over it even how much Harry scolds her about it (it feels like a small plateau that got separated away because of an earthquake, y/n has made her own imagination about her tooth) and Harry let her chose the colour of filling that will be the mould of her crown, it was just an unnecessary thing to make her feel cheerful about it.

“Is Harry busy? Who’s inside?” She’s asking the old receptionist tapping her nails against the marble counter in eagerness to be done with it and that she’s about to take him to this yummy Thai place.

“Oh. He’s with his girlfriend right now.” Placid sereneness dooms over them and Y/N falls frightfully quite.

The poor assistant doesn’t know what she has uttered.

She just told her what the rumours has told her.

Her jittery smile drops into a blue scowl, her legs weakens at the thought and she nearly trips when Holly appears from inside his room.

It bitters her mouth with taste of anger and outrage.

Holly passes her a tight empathetic smile as if she knew everything from start and Y/N’s striding past her in resentment, her mind smoked with betrayal and vehemence.

“Hi. Moppet.” He rolls his stool over smiling up at her and it tightens her chest so much she chokes onto a breath.

How could he? No. No.

How dare he!?

But, there’s no need to cry over split milk now is it? She has to accept it that they could never be something more than just bestfriends.

“Hi.” She mumbles blocking her tears in the back of her eyes somewhere and Harry frowns, asking politely as she sits, “Feelin' alright?” She just nods and it takes Harry off-guard.

Where is his bubbly Muffy?

“Are you hurtin' somewhere?” He asks again pushing her upper lip to get a better look of her tooth. When she denies he lets it slide.

Though, when the assistant injects her and she’s groping Harry’s thigh because in grief everything hurts more than usual and her heart is dripping with sorrow and loneliness and grief she’s on verge of breaking into pieces right on this seat.

Harry’s brows clinches together in worry but she’s inhaling a puff of breath and giving him an etiolated smile to finish this as soon as possible and leave before she humiliates herself infront of him.

Her crown didn’t fit and he had to do a little more grinding. Meanwhile, Holly’s entering the room and Y/N shuts her eyes pretending that she isn’t there.

It hurts. Not in her tooth. Everywhere. Like a force is ripping her apart through a saw and it hurls her into deep agony and her heart almost stops functioning.

Harry was too focused and worried about her eerie behaviour that he ignored the frail hits on his thigh and Holly’s taking his name loudly making him stop.

Y/N’s jolting up and gagging into the sink beside her. Her knuckles turning white from gripping it ruthlessly.

She stares the clots of blood and mucus washing away with blurry eyes.

“Baby?” Harry quickly rubs her back anxiously and scrutinise with raucous beating heart as her hands shivers cupping the water and taking it in her mouth.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Are y'okay? Pet?” His voice drips with panic and dread that the worst happened to her because of him --– if the case's true he's never gonna touch her again.

“Y/N!?” He’s growling loudly when she doesn’t reply him and keeps on crying. His eyes turning back concerned and soft when she hiccups a weep, “It hurts Harry ....” Holly rolls her eyes, leans against the desk and puts the file she brought to Harry beside her.

“You’re not a child anymore, Y/N. Ofcourse it’s gonna hurt.” She snickers and this makes Y/N cry more – Harry’s holding her hands in his and stroking his thumb at her knuckles.

“Dunno --...– maybe –- ma —,” Harry’s emerald eyes are boring into her murky one's and it pierces her soul away from her inside.

Their heads perk up when Holly asks her rudely, “Are you doubting Harry?”

Y/N shakes her tiny defeated head vigorously, “No! Why —.. why would I?” More tears pooling in her waterline and dropping at the back of Harry’s hand. He rushes to wipe them away and shush her but Holly’s acidic laugh is echoing.

How could she even think that?

Y/N could never doubt him.

Why she has to be so mean to her everytime?

“I mean you —,” Holly opens her mouth to speak but Harry’s cutting her off sharply, “Dr. Jenner enough. I’ll appreciate it if you wait f'me outside.” His head snaps back to Y/N who’s wiggling out of his hold and gasping out -- her pupils blown out and woozy.

“I just need a breather.” Saying this she’s out before Holly leaving Harry baffled and agitated to ponder over how she was pain and he failed to realise sooner.

..

The zephyr is tranquil. Frolicking with her heart and the grass is dewy under her as she runs towards an empty bench outside where there’s barely any light and she wishes Harry never comes to look for her.

She’s such a mess.

Her chest suffocates with a sob. She’s trying to lull her breath back to normal just like he tells her to.

When she flutters her eyelids into vision a hand with a cross on it’s thumb is pressed onto the bench beside her and there’s an afflicted pause in the atmosphere before she slowly faces him and places her hand atop his hand.

Her breath shudders through a smile, the tension in between them thickening as Harry feels her so close but so distant from him.

Emotionally and mentally and even their souls feels trapped within their own bodies.

It upsets him, to see his Bambi like that,

“’M so sorry, Harry. My intention wasn’t to embarrass you.” She isn’t serious? Sometimes he wants to bang his head at nearby wall at her silliness.

“You didn’t.” He assures her gently.

“But I did. Infront of the person you love.” It pains to say it. In the end she could suffer from anything for his happiness even if it’s handing him to the wrong person if he loves them.

Harry’s eyes turn moist at that. An unbelievable sour laugh eliciting from his lungs as he shoves his palms into his sockets, rubs them harshly and grasps her wrists pulling her closer to him with one furious tug.

“Yeah because that’s you, dumbass!!” Y/N’s body turns into a stone at his stern confession and she’s staring him with a throb in her heart and sad kitten eyes.

His brows pricks together ferociously and his lips twitches up as he speaks chopped on tears, “Every Daphne I pick up from the side-grass while comin’ back home t’you, these stupid stars in sky ‘n these ...” His shoes scrapes against the grass as he tries to show her, “....these stupid stupid shoelaces I tie around me ankles,” He’s raising his wrist to show her the milk bottle tattoo he got for he’s in love with her and their cats, once they were drunk, “... this fuckin' tattoo I got —- ‘s always been you.” He let’s the tears shine on his cheeks and soak them rosy.

“Always you, Bambi.” His accent gluteus and hoarse, “You’re always gonna be my sweet Bambi. Who I adore and love so much.”

“How?” She whispers in bewilderment and when Harry’s warming his forehead against her's tickling her lips as he murmurs, “Because you thought we'd be a wonderful us.”

A sob is wrecking out of her and she’s wrapping her arms around the nape of his neck pulling him down into a bone crushing hug, as the night they first confessed and had their first kiss makes a home in her mind.

She’s glad they didn’t forget their first.

“I love you.” Harry mumbles through a squished up cheek and saturates their chests closer with his hand planted firmly over her spine.

“I love you too. So much of it.” They’re crying elated tears knowing they’ve eachother to wipe them away and he’s sponging a tender kiss to her mouth and the corner of her lip avoiding where it’s swollen and her cheek is bloated.

The metallic taste of her blood lingers on his own lips.

“I could even kiss your bloody mouth, see?” He giggles feathering back his lips to her lips and gives her a chastise peck.

“Let’s put your crown, my highness.” Harry scoops up giggles from within her and tries to cherish this moment for as long as possible.

He’s never gonna forget his first, done twice.

..

Not a days go by where they don’t make love to eachother. A string of knot that connects their souls as Harry keeps his cock warm inside her while sleeping and it fattens inside her when they’re about to wake up and Harry’s rolling his hips into her lazily and gradually getting out breathy hums and whispers of whines from her —- her ankles locks behind his back and he’s always hitting and caressing the spots inside her which she was never able to reach herself with her short fingers.

Their bath times are intimate. Not full of adrenaline and thrill that one would end up having a foot cast from tripping from their playfulness, like they used to everytime. It’s delicate touches. Soft back rubs. Foamy head massages and cuddly bubbles. Smooching wet kisses. Heated makeout sessions and then drying eachother off, brushing teeth together and going to bed wearing eachother’s mismatched clothes.

Their mornings are spent lounging in bed and sharing a little love, sweet irresistible kisses, mouth sweet with eachother's tongues and hands comforting eachother, having a satisfying brekkie together in bed and sometimes the other is too tired to go (it’s usually Harry) and they always remind them they’re gonna come back home to eachother.

Harry made, Y/N explore herself. Introduced her to the tingles of what it feels to be rough and have a good shag that sends her into her sub-space where she doesn’t stop thrashing and spasming under him and He’s always there to bring her back to him and to take care of her.

They sometime do it in his office room too. Whenever she’s visiting him and he looks to alluring that Y/N could swallow him whole and his thighs man-spread deliciously as he sits on the stool in his damn scrubs, “You c’mere.” He pats his thigh dirtily in a command for her to straddle him and ride his cock and she’s always obeying like a good bunny moaning out feeling him in her tummy.

They’ve had countless of sex in Harry’s living room which they turned into a working studio for Y/N and whenever she's painting sometimes naked to tease him, how could Harry resist when she looks ethereal with her peachy bosom and her adorable tummy rolls and her innocent eyes and her cushiony thighs —- so he just pushes her thighs that he’s oh so in love with to her chest and pins her to floor and fucks her till she isn’t satiated enough.

Shower sex and bit of striptease when Harry’s knackered out. The hot water that prattles on their toes and their sweaty skins that slaps against eachother’s makes it much filthier and nastier.

They’ve bunch of romantic sex too. Oh boy! Just loads of romance where he’s too soft and mushy and dotting with her.

Sometimes, two people have deep connection that makes seem romance trivial and it isn’t about lust everytime. It’s about their souls. About the deepest part of who they’re as a person. Who they could be for eachother when the time strikes.

Just like right now. As, the stars twinkle outside and the dark snowy wind hits the windows; checked by the occasional gust that rattles the rooftop and the wood would creak to tell it’s presence. Fragrance of scented candles that of peonies, sparkling champagne and cr��me almonds surrounds them.

Harry brought Y/N on a holiday at a mountain and had a warm cosy wooden cottage booked for themselves.

They’ve spent it enjoying themselves and forgetting about their life in city. Today, the layer of foamy crystal snow is more than usual and they decided to cuddle up into their own little comfy cubby.

He takes his time feeling her skin and she nuzzles her nose up in his throat and giggles when he purrs.

The fire churning infront of them is similar to the one quenching in his belly as he sneaks his hand under her slip dress and fondles her nipples in between his calloused fingers.

“I wanna make love t'you, Muffy.” He mumbles grazing his blunt teeth down her sweaty pulse and laps at it splaying his palm close to her bum when she arches up into him, “I’m all yours.” She guppies around a gasp and he’s chuckling sweetly cradling her face in his hold and brews his lips against her's in a passionate endearingly hot kiss that moists her breath and her each ravine pore fills with love for him.

Their chests burns with carnal desire as he lays them on the flumpy nest of bed they made from blankets and pillows, his mouth keeps on tasting her with ardent fever and he situates himself between her and grinds their pelvises sensing her nipples stitching under his fingers and she’s gnawing her teeth into his petalish lip when he fills his palms with her tits.

“So cute.” He quips when she gasps whining for him to smudge his cocoa-vaseline covered lips back on her's and her lips brushes against his clavicles, emitting a perfervid whimper as Harry strokes his palm to feel her arousal and juices, “Hmm. I could just give you a flyin' kiss and you’ll still end up squirting.” He's easing his middle finger inside her and gazes her with profound sweetness when she pushes her palm up against his large moth and punctuates soft kisses to his vein at the side of his neck that prominents from their intimacy.

“Fuck. You get t've me cock daily but still so snug, pet. G’na stretch y'nice ‘n good.” He grunts, trailing soppy kisses down the valley of her breasts. Slicking his mouth around her nipple and she whines hungrily unceasing her fingers in his curls and pulls at them bringing him down for more kisses, “You love my kisses baby? Hmm? My baby loves me kisses ...” He coos suckling onto her lower lip and latches back full to her mouth and perennials it into pastels of wetness.

Sips down her moans when he slithers three more fingers into her and fits them deep, cupping his palm against her pussy. Something weirdly soft about his bare ring-less fingers and he runs his hips into her, “Feels good?” He growls looking down where his fingers drives into her.

When she bobs her head hungrily. She squirms – goosebumps pebbling on her skin and the mellow glow of candles melting on her when he pecks her and pecks her again, kissing her tongue as he mumbles, “Bet. It’ll feel more good with my cock inside y’pussy. Tell me moppet, who's little cunt is this?” He asks wiggling his middle finger to nudge the walnut shaped spot inside her – tucked within her walls and his other hand’s pressing her thigh to floor as he saps his teeth into her neck and leaves love bites.

Marking her as his’s.

“Yours. Please, it’s all yours.” She sobs out ardently. Crumbling and lurking at the edge to hold this pleasing feeling for some moment in her belly.

“Right.” He affirms. Licking the maroon marks he littered on her puddy skin and he's grabbing her shivery hand that was about to cup around his cock and stroke it, “You’re mine.” He strings their fingers together and brings it to his lips to kiss the soft pads of her fingers.

“All mine to love on, to cherish, to be proud of –-- You’re my little Bambi.” His infatuated dotting words are making her strike herself into him, quivering and blabbering, eyes shut in bliss and love and he’s helping her ride the sensation out.

The moment he’s taking his fingers out he’s interlacing those sticky cum covered fingers with her other hand and stretching her arms and pinning their winded hands atop her head into floor.

They’re moaning into waxy humidity when Harry sheathes into her and her walls soaps around his girth as he sinks himself into her, his heavy balls pressed buried deep to her bum and he’s smushing his face into her breasts and almost snuggles into her knowing how much she loves to just be wrapped into him as he pounds his cock inside her.

He’s sweltering his hips. Feeling her gooey warmth and rolls himself harder and she’s crossing her arms around his shoulder – kissing his neck and caressing the curls that’ve grown out a tad under his earlobes.

“I love you,” He's nosing at her jaw to tip her mouth towards him and kisses it —- his hold on her delicate but she’s coveting crescents into his knuckles and a bow of string connects their mouths as she pecks him till she’s running out of breath, “I love you. I love you so so much.” Even though they’re taking their time but Y/N doesn’t think she could last a minute longer the way he’s thrusting languidly but deeply into her.

“Show me then, c’mon baby cum on m’cock. Soak it. G'na keep it inside you ‘n sleep like tha', mphmp makin' me so so good —- g'na cum?” He rasps out and she’s whimpering blubbering out without much mind as he stuffs her full and enough.

Her voice meek and high-pitch, “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” She’s dripping all over him and coating him with her cum. He doesn’t not stop and pumps it back inside her roughly.

“Fuck. Baby.” His howl wounded and broken as he feels his balls tighten and he leaks inside her, “S'okay honey cum inside me Harry .. love how you make me feel – how big your cock is.” She grates her teeth into the eternity of his throat and punctures her lips to suck around the fading hickey she gave him two nights prior.

His hips stutters, and he keeps himself up with his weak elbows spurting ribbons and ribbons of thick seed inside her.

She moans out when he wouldn’t stop cumming and she thrashes upward with a final twist of his push, his words sultry and drunk on libido, “Fuck. I came so much – you’ll ‘ave to squeeze tha’ all out fo’ me,” He’s smoothing their arms down to let them be on eachother and Y/N sees the gears working in his mind when he grins.

“In case you’ll want a refill.”

She rolls her eyes cheek smashed into his bicep and pinches his nipple, “Way to ruin the moment –- you libido driven slut." A noise peeps out of her when he whumps on her and looks up at her with an amused expression.

“Y'know tha' slut shaming is inappropriate?” She just shrugs smiling around a yawn.

“Is that an invitation to whore shame y'then?” He listens to her heartbeat. Tracing pattern of yellow flicker on her skin and kisses the curve of her breast.

“Will that end up me havin' yer fingers in my bum?” She creampies around him at his genuine yet naughty question and he snorts out loudly stirring his cock on purpose that’s still snug inside her, “Hmm then ‘m defo a whore.”

“Harry!” She pouts and he squishes that pout as if she’s some duckling -- an old habit he'd never get rid of.

..

“Mrs. Styles!” Holly’s head perks up at the call and she’s looking down at the five month old baby that has her bum situated on her momma’s hip and she squeals joyfully bunching her momma's shirt in her tiny chubby hands.

Holly just simpers quietly not greeting the duo and keeps on walking as Y/N enters Harry’s office room.

His face brightens up. Dimples popping awfully cute just how Y/N loves and his smile widens into a toothy one as he leaves everything and scurries towards his girls, “Oh my two Bambis!” He's greeting them with loud sloppy loving kisses all over their faces that makes them squint their eyes and giggle ticklish from the faint stubble that’s growing on his chin.

Their baby. Harry never thought he was able to love someone this purely and extremely. From a grumpy kid himself and someone who used to loose his shit at the formula chugging machines he used to call them —-- he never even imagined to own one.

But, after two years into marriage and moving into a house with the love of his life everything had a possibility for him and their one room that’d look so empty just made his stomach squeaky and yearn for a little one that he could protect and hold delicately close to his chest and lather them in his kisses and smell their baby scent and have cuddles with them,

Harry really wanted her to be a December baby -- if not particular then winters.

Because she just looks like the joy of Christmas and the sapience of homely evening.

Her frost bitten poppy nose. Her plushy warm cheeks that of running his fingers over an old sweater that holds infinite memories for him, the shimmer in her eyes that of snowflakes and those lips she got from her mother that of marshmallows melting on hot chocolate.

Harry really fucked his dream of her being a winter baby by fucking Y/N at the wrong time of the year.

She ended up coming out on the most heated month, june.

Wasn’t his fault too. Because they were trying for so long and he'd be all excited for the pregnancy tests but then they'd come out negative everytime weighing a ball of sadness in his chest and when they conceived her –-- he didn’t even remember the damn date.

The pregnancy for them wasn’t that hard. Minus the eventual tantrums that were thrown his way as daggers but he was skilled to dodge them and lure his wifey back to him with chocolate chip cookies.

The process of her birth was life taking for Y/N and Harry had short comings in his breath from the way his wife would all be jerking in pain.

She had to endure the labour pain for three days.

It’d always tear him into sobs as he'd fall into Rori's arms while everyone stayed inside with her for a moment.

It wasn’t easy to look at the love of his life, his bestfriend, his Bambi, his everything go through so much pain and he almost ended up regretting having a baby but when she’d be all snuggled up into his side after a long tiring and screaming day with her bump swollen beautifully with his bubba inside, it used to relax him a bit,

When she came out all sticky and covered in blood he realized at that moment that; she truly is his’s.

Those earthy gem eyes that didn’t cry first five minutes but rather kept on staring at him intrigued as to why the man that used to chatter her ears away in thick sleepy accent when she was in the cosy spot of her mummy’s belly is now just crying and crying.

They made her with so much love and care.

She was just so soft to touch. Just like their favourite flowers.

She was his Daphne.

He’s grabbing her from armpits and immediately putting a hand under her diaper clad bum when she huffed making grabby hands at him, “Hi Daphne bub! Missed daddy much?” He coos bouncing her a little and rumbles his lips against her cheek to create farty noises.

She squeals fisting his hair and yanks at it. That makes Y/N laugh out loudly, “Careful there, H. She’s getting quite handsy.” He just smiles convincing his baby to have some mercy on his curls.

When Y/N tells him about his routine and her nap timing Harry’s just sighing kissing her lips and patting her ass to move, “I can take care of me baby -- doin' it fo' five months, forgot?” He took a paternity leave to spend more time with Daphne and his Bambi.

To be sure that they were growing and healing well.

Y/N has to take the cats for their monthly checkup that’s why she has to leave Daphne with Harry and even though she’s not fond of her in hospitals Harry assured her that he’s heading home soon.

When Y/N leaves, Harry blows raspberries at her face and she pouts just like her mummy and he’s squishing that pout like his own little duckling.

“Da',” She grumbles and Harry kisses her cheek fondly and lovingly, “Yes Da, bubblin. Guess like we’ve got a date with Pooh and Roo at home.” He guffaws out loudly when Daphne's eyes visibly twinkles at the name of her plushies she likes to chew on and get them all soggy by the end of the day.

“You’re such a minx, baby!” Harry thinks he couldn’t be happier.

He’s complete.

His family is complete.

[swtki]

HP Boys: Surprise Pregnancy Head Cannons

Summary: The HP boys and their reaction to their s/o (afab) being pregnant when its not planned.

A/N: This takes place post Hogwarts so all characters are 18+, though no real smut happens in this so its not an 18+ fic.

WARNINGS: UNPLANNED PREGNANCY, MENTIONS OF PRO CHOICE OPINIONS, MENTIONS OF SEX IN LITE TERMS, SWEARING, FLUFF, MENTIONS OF ALCOHOL, ALSO THIS IS SUPER LONG SORRY LOL

Draco

So everything is going great for the happy couple, you two just moved into a flat together and are working normal jobs, drinking wine like adults.

And sure, Draco knows he wants to marry you, but he knows you’re not ready to settle down like that so he just plans and dreams.

Due to poor choices, when you’re late by two weeks, you know what it probably is.

Draco doesn’t even notice that you ran out to the store and came back and hid in the bathroom for 10 minutes. CEO of minding his own business ig

You just kinda...walk up to him and hand him all 3 tests while your eyes fill with tears because what if he demands you get an abortion?

Or what if he fucks off to god knows where?

But instead he just looks at you with the most un-draco like smile. Like his face was soft and it looked like he could cry any moment.

“Oh my god,” He says, putting his hand on your belly, “I can be ready for this, but if you aren’t then we can you know...”

“No, I want it” then both of you rejoice bc yay baby!

Cut to 6 months later when your feet hurt so bad you have to lay down and watch while Draco fails to put a crib together.

He eventually gets it done tho.

And when the time comes, he’s built and arranged everything for your bundle of joy.

Harry

So you guys are probably already married, but with everything at the ministry going on, it makes Harry less than a family man.

You both agree that it’s probably better to wait so you can be home and yk...raise it.

Well smart man Harry forgets that to not have a kid you need to use protection.

So of course when your period is late you don’t think about it, until its four weeks late.

That night, you and Harry are laying in bed, and thats when you tell him.

“Harry..I’m late.”

“Late for what?” headass.

You: 😳😐

Him: 👁👁😲😲

He’s hesitant to say anything, because he knows its ultimitley up to you what happens with it until its out.

“I think I want to keep it...you know it wont remember much for the first year and a half so if things are stressful it will be okay and-“

“Love...Its going to be perfect”

Mf built the crib in like 45 minutes I swear.

And of course he forced you to keep up with your vitamins, pre natal care, and appointments.

Swear tho you’re about to kill him because cofFeE

But the way he holds your baby 🥺 its his most valued thing ever now.

Ron

Ron is iffy on the kid thing sometimes.

He does want them, but only later when you guys have lived and travled.

So no, you two haven’t planned nor is it even in the picture when your wedding roles around.

It’s in the early days of the marriage when you see his family at the burrow on the way back from the honeymoon.

And of course Molly knows

Because Weasleys are hyperfertile I swear.

She takes you into the kitchen and puts her hands on your arms, shes got that big Mrs.Weasley smile on too.

“I knew it!” She says and pulls you in for a hug, “How far dear??”

You’re just standing there like🧍🏻

“I can see it by the way you glow! Oh my you and my Ron must be so happy!” This woman doesn’t notice that you’re confused.

“Wait what? Mrs. Weasley what are you-?” Then you count the days, “Oh. Well I guess I just found out for myself”

Her face falls slightly, but then she tells you can make you a potion that will tell you if you are or not, stan.

The stupid potion turns green when you spit into it, so everything is confirmed.

That night, you and Ron are getting ready for bed in the guest room and you decide to tell him.

“Ron, sweetie. We need to talk.” He looks like he’s gonna start crying but sits next to you on the bed.

“Y/N...I know its scary but please, we just got married I don’t want to divorce quite just yet 🥺🥺”

“Ron I-“ you start smiling, “I’m pregnant you dufus.”

He just freezes, for a while. Not saying anything, he just looks at the wall with his mouth ajar.

So you get up and go to Ginny.

“Gin, I broke him.”

“Ew, I don’t want to know about how you and him”

“No, I told him that I’m pregnant.”

“Oh, yeah that would do it. Just I don’t know... Give him a minute?”

You give him several, getting a glass of water then heading back up to the room.

Ginny was right, he needed a minute.

“I don’t...I wasn’t...you were.?”

“You don’t have to stay, but I think we can do it. Plus, you would disapoint your mom if you left so...”

“Okay...we’ll do it. I’ll be the best damn Father you have ever seen.” He says, talking to your womb.

Well...he’s a father I’ll give him that.

Pro of having a Weasley baby: free crib thats already put together.

Even if it looks like a death trap.

“We’ll put some blankets over it don’t worry”

You know how some Dads hold their parters hand during the delivery? Yeah he got sick and was moral support from the outside.

To be fair, you weren’t screaming in pleasure by any means.

Scary. But beautiful.

He shows the kid to everyone, he might be more in love with the baby than he is with you.

Ron see’s the appeal of having kids now.

Neville

Moving in with your boyfriend is always fun, right up until you guys go at it so much you forget protection more than once.

You think about it, then move on with your day.

Until the doctor calls, then “oh fuck”

Romance Neville bf

“Why aren’t you having any wine? I thought it was your favorite?”

“I don’t think fetal alcohol syndrome is my favorite.” BRO HE SPAT

But he looks up with tears in his eyes, and runs over to you to grasp you in a hug.

“Oh my god! You’re pregnant! Oh my - We’re gonna be parents!! Oh my god we’re gonna be parents oh-“ Que you petting his hair till he’s calm again.

Lets be honest, this man probably swapped the herbology books for the parenting guides.

“Well I mean I’m just wondering if we should go with this color or this one”

“Nev, it doesn’t matter. Our baby will not care.”

“I read in my book that Infants actually can recognize mood in-“

He won’t let you do anything during your pregnancy.

Gotta love a man who cries because he loves you so much and you’re having his kid.

“I never had a father, what if I do it wrong? What if the baby hates me and runs away at seven?”

“We’ve got quite a lot of time before then.”

He was there during delivery, letting you crush his hand like a champ.

You can’t help but cry when you see him sleeping on the floor next to the crib, its so sweet.

Fred

You two most likely already had two kids, so you decided to wait a bit so your hands weren’t quite full.

Well...your body decided not to wait.

A test provides the two lines, another wild child.

The two toddlers already run around like thing one and thing two, only with red hair.

I think Fred would gladly make the family dinner, and wear an apron. He’d own it, as he should.

But mf gotta not drop the salad bowl when you tell him of the fetus inside you.

“Fred we are going to have a bee-ay-bee-why.”

Your five year old has just begun to spell 😐

He’s happy tho.

Like over the fuckin moon.

He buys the two kids big brother/sister shirts too 🥺🥺

He knows the drill pretty well, so he isn’t too worried about the future.

But its funny that he still freaks out about the crib and feeding chair since he gave it away, you know because you guys werent having another kid.

He packed a hospital bag and kept it in the trunk, counting down the days.

Hours of delivery (He just sat back and held your hand) only to end up with a room full of 7 Weasley family members.

Fred always said that 3 was his lucky number :)

George

You guys were taking it slow, no marriage until you both felt it was time. And certainly no children before that.

Well you know...things changed when the test was positive.

You slid it over on the table, tears pooling in your eyes. He was stunned and quiet, which made you burst out sobbing because you knew that neither of you planned on having a baby.

But to your surprise he starts to smile.

“I want whatever you want, I’m staying by your side no matter what.”

“I mean...would it really be so bad? A house, a kid, a dog?” He holds your hand as you think aloud.

You both give it a week to think it over and the virdict is to keep it.

Thats when he decides he has to marry you, asap because he loves you and will never let you go especially now.

He loves to gush about the carrier of his child, to him you are a godess.

He’s the Dad with a predestination complex.

“Y/N, I just see him being a star quiditch player”

“George, we don’t know if it’s a him.”

He rolls his eyes “Okay then I can see her being a star-“

He made Hermione take you out for a movie date so he could rearrange your bedroom, since you only had a single bedroom flat.

You come back to a new set up including a cot.

Damn pregnancy hormones make brain go 🥺😭😭

He freaks when your water breaks lol

ceo of driving like a maniac to the hospital.

He can’t hold your hand, he’s pacing back and forth, sweating and maybe crying though he’ll never admit to it.

You get the joy of watching him cuddle the baby while refusing to give your child to you.

“George I’d like to hold-“

“No, you need your sleep honey, don’t worry”

Hogging the child.

Cedric

Its no secret that Cedric wants a baby someday.

And he makes it clear your wedding will be spectacular too.

However, finding out you’re pregnant the week of your dream wedding was a shock.

A shock that made you bang your head into the wall because how could you be so stupid?? We had a plan??

So you decide to wait until after the wedding, that way it wont add onto the stress (happy stress) of the wedding.

Cedric keeps trying to fill your glass at the reception, to which you kindly refuse saying you want to remember the night entirely.

Yeah he’s like 🤨 mhm okay.

You can only pick at the dinner because ew salmon doesn’t sound like an option if you want to keep the contents of your stomach.

As everyone waves goodbye to the car, and you both set off into married life, he leans over.

“I may be out of my mind, but are you...?”

“Pregnant.” His face lights up, pulling you into a hug.

Finally, your car pulls up to a small cottage with lush garden scapes all around, putting a hand out, he walks you both from the car to the door.

“Ced, where are we?”

“Home.”

Somehow it was perfect with Cedric, even when it was rushed.

He loved talking to your womb, even if it was weird that he was talking about the babies future brothers and sisters.

“Cedric, slow down. We haven’t even had this one yet”

Basically he is father of the year before he’s a full father.

He’s there while you deliver, holding your hand and telling you how great you’re doing.

He doesn’t even complain when you insult him <3.

He updates you on everything.

If his eyes aren’t on that child, he’s either asleep or dead.

I think Cedric was meant to be a family man, because he loves everything about being one.

Taglist: @truly-insatiable @amourtentiaa @imdoingathingmom @annasdani @anchoeritic @mullthingsoverinthehotwater @cedricsyellowscarf @faeinorbit

[cupidsintern]

Billy doesn’t really have a lot of like, vices, anymore. Mostly because any one of them could kill him. His lungs barely work, his liver’s shot, and he’s been strongly advised against any kind of ‘mind altering substances’ because no one knows how all the meds he has to take would react to that being thrown into the ring. 

Mostly though, he misses smoking. 

Probably because he’s addicted and whatever, but that part was already getting better. Ish. 

He really misses the feel of it. The series of motions, the warmth. How he’d feel like he could think better, or at least like all his strings weren't wound to breaking. He misses the smells like the one that clings still to his leather jacket- that he hasn't worn is as much time since he quit- he misses the relief. He doesn't get much relief from anything these days. Not from the constant body aches and migraines and how he still coughs enough that it stings sometimes. 

But it’s fine. He’s fine not smoking. At least now he wont get lung cancer. Probably. Also there's that thing of how if you fall asleep with a smoke lit you could like burn to death in your sleep or whatever. 

Billy doesn’t have the luxury of risking incineration anymore. 

Now most of Billy’s comforts come from owning headphones, getting to wear actual clothes rather than sweatpants and hospital gowns, and seeing Steve. 

Who maybe counts as a vice. Probably. 

Steve’s counted as a vice since Billy first saw him, more so after he apologized, and Steve started acting like he liked Billy around. Still acted like that, even after he un-died in July. 

Steve was kind of Billy’s only friend. Which was as ironic as it was fucked up. 

Not that Steve had many friends to speak of himself. Just that Billy could actually get this close to Steve, and it still was not enough. 

Billy always felt like he was pushing it, too. 

He remembered the first time he begged Steve to smoke for him. Remembered how he actually said ‘please’ which made one of Steve’s eyebrows shoot up because ‘is this like a kink of yours or what’ and ‘no jackass i just can't so i want you to.”

Steve had started hanging out with Billy out of pity. Probably. Billy didn't actually know he just knew Steve was one of the only people that didn't treat Billy like he was made of glass. 

Then they were hanging out all the time. Maybe because of a sort of, mutual recognition kind of thing. 

But here they were on Steve’s couch, Billy asking if Steve had any smokes and yeah he knows he‘s not allowed to smoke them himself he wants Steve to do it. Please. 

Steve has this weird little smile on his lips. Maybe because it’s got to be like, 2am and they’re still up and watching TV and shooting the shit but. 

“Okay.” Steve shrugs, get up to go find a cigarette. 

Billy listens, only a little sleepy, to Steve’s soft footsteps as he leaves the room, comes back with- thank god- a pack of Reds and Billy’s fucking saved but he’s also a little crazed because Steve waves the carton a little and says “I think there’s a light in that drawer if you wanna hand it to me-” “I wanna do it.” Billy says, insistent, when Steve sits back down. 

Steve blinks at him with those sleepy puppy eyes of his, smiles a bit more while saying “Ooookay.” All slow like ‘what are you up to, huh?’

Billy doesn't know what he’s up to really. He’s a little too tired to think that far in advance. All he cares about is digging a lighter out of the coffee table drawer and holding to where Steve’s leaned over the distance between them, cigarette paper pulling ever so subtly at the skin of his lips, waiting for Billy to light. 

Billy does. 

He watches Steve inhale. How his cheeks hollow a little, makes the cherry match the brightness of the TV, how the glow of the TV makes Steve’s cheek bones look like harsh lines under those soft eyes. He catches his end of the cigarette with practiced fingers to pull away from his mouth. Billy feels like he sees the whole thing in slow motion.

He exhales when Steve does, even though Steve turns his head a little, the smoke blows away from Billy. 

“This doing it for you, weirdo?” Steve laughs a little, Billy realizes how close they are, how intently he’s been staring. 

“You try quitting cold turkey.” Is Billy's comeback. 

“No thanks.” Steve says, only half genuine. “I like my bad habits. Only got a couple.” He takes another drag. A shortish one. And when a couple seconds ago this was helping, suddenly it’s not nearly enough. Steve’s not pulling hard enough. And he keeps blowing the smoke away from Billy, like the polite son of a gun he is, which means Billy can only sort of of smell it- the scent that takes him back to before he was a corpse, before he spent all his time at doctors appointments- a time when the guy crowned in smoke before him was all he fucking thought about. 

If Billy wanted to try to think why he was doing this, he wouldn't like the answer. 

Steve’s fingers looked so natural, parted so gracefully Billy didn't even really realize he was touching them until he already had, letting his own finger’s slide up the back of Steve’s hand, over his knuckles, to pluck the cigarette from between his slender pale fingers into Billy's own. 

Steve watches Billy do it, makes no move to stop him. In fact, when Billy lifts his hand, Steve leans forward to smoke from it without even being asked. 

Billy watches, the same process of the bright cherry, hollow cheeks, Steve’s eyes lower to track Billy's hand, his eyelashes dark against his skin. Steve’s face is warm where Billy's hand touches it. 

Steve doesn't exhale fully this time, just drops his mouth open a little like you do for blowing smoke rings and lets the smoke drift out of it. Billy watches as the opaqueness dissipates- he can see the pink of Steve’s tongue. 

Steve’s eyes flick up to look into Billy‘s, then immediately away again. 

Billy realizes their legs are touching. It’s so late, nothing real can even happen at 2am. 

“Did I ever tell you how much I like it when you come over?” Steve says, low, not making any effort to pull his eyes up again.

Billy’s so close. Closer than he’s been to anyone in a while in terms of physical distance. In any terms really. 

Steve’s breath smells like smoke. 

That's probably why Billy kisses him.

But to be fair, he only leans in to breathe Steve's air, from right in front of his lips, and it’s Steve that kisses him. 

Tips his chin forward so he can get to Billy’s bottom lip, and then it‘s an honest to god kiss, and Billy can taste his favorite Marlboro Reds on this pretty boy's lips- that's enough. That scratches the goddamn unscratchable itch.

Billy feels like whatever he thinks he needs. Or wants. Steve anticipates it. 

And what now?

“Still seems like a kink.” Steve mumbles, smile fighting for a right to occupy his expression. 

“Shut up, man.” Billy feels his face going red, however unreal 2am is.

“Make me.” 

The cigarette- which ends up lying half smoked in an ashtray- burns itself out. There’d be others.