#but why they didn't get added in Final Mix is beyond me ^^

[skzhua]

episode 3.

MASTERLIST

pairing: XO, Kitty's Min Ho x Female Reader

genre: Fluff, angst, exes-to-lovers, slow burn, coming-of-age.

word count: 5.3k (not proofread yet!)

warnings: cussing, jealousy, heist (aka don't do that kids).

summary: despite you and min ho growing closer once again, he still sends you mixed signals about what he wants. and you don't know how long you can handle this back and forth. especially when you know you'll be spending seollal with him... and stella.

note: Bold - Korean, Italic - Over the phone

(let me know by filling the form in my bio if you want to be added to the taglist!)

As soon as you saw Stella, you pushed Min Ho away from you. She was beyond mad, she was hurt. Before you could say anything, she shook her head in disappointment and left as she disappeared into the school building. You looked at Min Ho, who was avoiding your eyes.

"You didn't tell her you weren't interested, did you?"

With a sigh, he shook his head no. "I didn't get to speak to her, let's say."

"A text, Min Ho, no?" you said in disbelief.

"The one I was really trying to text was not responding."

"Yeah, and you should have taken it as a sign maybe."

His Adam's apple bopped. "Then why did you kiss me?"

You pointed at him. "You're the one who kissed me."

"What? Why would I want to kiss you?"

It felt like a knife went through your heart. You were baffled that, only seconds ago, you were letting yourself fall in love with him again. Although he was noticeably frustrated with you, it wasn't hard to see he regretted what he said right after the words left his mouth.

"Sorry, it just-"

"Whatever, Min Ho..."

Crossing your arms, you held them close to your body. To this, he took his jacket off and wrapped it around you. Your face still showed anger but you did nothing to stop him.

"I'll talk to Stella," he assured.

"Yeah, and I will too. I'll say this was in the spur of the moment."

He scoffed. "So, it meant nothing?"

Your shoulders dropped. "What do you want me to say?"

His mouth opened to say something but nothing came out. Visibly, he was as confused as you were. And while you didn't hate it, you were afraid you only hurt yourself.

"Sure," he finally spoke. "It was in the spur of the moment."

The corner of your mouth lifted the slightest, a sign of gratitude. "Thanks. We're good?"

"We're good."

You shared a hug that you could describe as the most awkward physical interaction you'd had in life, and you went your separate ways, not forgetting to give back his jacket beforehand. By then, hunger had died down and the softness of your mattress was all you could think of. You dreaded the discussion you'd have to share with Stella, but you couldn't just stop yourself from going home.

When you walked in, she was on her laptop and sat on the couch. At the sound of you entering the place, she glared at you before focusing on the screen again. You slowly approached her.

"Hey, can we talk?"

She frowned. "About how you promised nothing was going on with Min Ho before giving me his number, only to kiss him right in front of me?"

Ouch. As much as you hated hearing that, you couldn't deny that she was pretty spot on.

"It's not what it looks like-"

She suddenly shut the laptop before looking at you right in the eyes. "Did you do it to humiliate me or something?"

"What? Of course not!"

"Then explain to me what is going on," she breathed out, her voice softening.

You allowed yourself to take a seat next to her. "Min Ho and I, we have a complicated relationship. I am trying my best to become his friend again, no feelings involved. What you saw earlier was nothing but a moment of weakness where we both fell back into old feelings. I swear, it was nothing."

She cocked her head to the side. "It seemed pretty passionate to me."

"I promise, it meant nothing. Have him all you want, I won't overstep again."

Even if you were more trying to convince yourself than her, she ended up accepting your explanation, thanking you for being honest with her. But were you?

You hurried to join Dae and Kitty as soon as you saw them in the crowd. Q had been showering the whole gang with messages about how the track meet was important to him, meaning he wanted everyone to be there for him. Your only surprise was to not see his face among the team, who was already settled for the track to start. Out of breath, you joined your two friends who seemed as lost as you were.

"This is crazy. Where is Q?" Dae spoke what everyone was thinking.

"I have no idea, but that is the guy he was all over last night at the club," Kitty pointed to one of the track members.

Dae scoffed. "Q ditched me for Jin? But he's Q's rival, and he's a big jerk."

"Yeah, well, looks like Q might have gotten played," you sighed before turning to take a look around in hopes to spot Q.

That when you saw Min Ho and Stella, seated in a very cozy manner on the bleachers. While Stella waved at you kindly, Min Ho stared at the floor, visibly ashamed you 'caught' him hanging out with the person he was supposedly not interested in — also considering he kissed you the day prior. You were not going to let it affect you. Like you had both established, it meant nothing.

Alex coming out to announce start of the race was enough to make you forget about that weird feeling in your stomach. "Runners, please take your marks for the 100-meter dash qualifying. The winner will represent KISS-"

"We have to do something!" Kitty exclaimed.

You nodded. "I have an idea."

Before either could question you, you ran to the track. You purposefully dropped your bracelet, one that belonged to your mother, and began to act distressed as you looked around the ground. You didn't hesitate to let out grunts of frustration and comments on your foolishness for losing your jewelry.

The crowd began to chatter amongst themselves, wondering why you were interrupting the race. Kitty and Dae were trying to tell you with hand movements to stop, but you couldn't let Alex start the run when Q wasn't here.

"Y/N, get off the track!" Alex called out.

Out of panic — well mostly because you ran out of ideas — you dropped on the ground, faking to have fainted. Frankly, the ground was quite comfortable as you closed your eyes, only feeling the wind grazing against your skin... and fingers?

"Y/N!" Min Ho yelled, worried. "Y/N, you all right?"

As he rubbed your shoulder, shaking it slightly to see if you were fine, you opened an eye to glare at him. "I'm trying to cause a diversion, dummy!"

His shoulders relaxed, but he couldn't help but roll his eyes. He held his hand out for you to grab, and by hearing Q finally arriving, you took it. Helping you up, he could only chuckle.

"What?"

"That's the last thing I'd have expected you to do. I mean, since when do you like being the center of attention."

It was your turn to roll your eyes. "I don't. But I care about Q, who should be both our focus right now."

You didn't let him reply as you joined your friends — and Stella, to cheer on Q. As soon as the race started, your eyes were fixated on him. He started out great, being the first up. However, it didn't take long for Jin to surpass him.

"Come on, Q," you muttered to yourself.

"Let's go!" Kitty encouraged.

Unfortunately, the cheers you heard were all for Jin who made it first. You still all clapped, although you were visibly disappointed.

"Have I been mean to Juliana?"

You groaned, throwing your book at the end of your bed. All you wanted was one morning without Kitty complaining about ruining Yuri and Juliana living together by letting it slip out in front of Principal Lee. So far, so good since you were the one to take Yuri's bed in their room. That worked out for you since you wanted to avoid Stella. Yeah, because Min Ho clearly did not turn her down and they continued to be 'a thing'.

"What did you do, now?"

"Nothing!" she almost yelled, making you jump. "She was eating her cereal, then I tried to confide to her about Praveena, but she just left. She said she had stuff to do but I think she's making up excuses. Did I say something?"

"Beside the fact you were the cause for Yuri to move out?"

She deadpanned at you. "Yes, beside that."

You shrugged. "She might actually have something to do."

She whined. "You're not helping."

"Forget about them," you said, getting off your bed and grabbing your school bag. "We have to get to the assembly anyway."

Min Ho: Y/N?

"Uh..." you stopped on your tracks.

"Everything alright?" Kitry questioned, trying to catch a glimpse of your phone screen.

"Yeah, you go ahead. I'll join you at the assembly."

She seemed unsure but nodded nonetheless before leaving you alone. You looked in her room to see if Stella was still home, and when you noticed no signs of her, you dialed Min Ho's number.

He picked up right away. "I thought you'd ignore me!"

"What do you want?" you cut right to the chase.

"I was just grabbing coffee before class. Since we don't live in the same dorm anymore, I just wanted to know if you wanted one."

You scoffed. "What about your girlfriend? What is she going to say when she learns you're getting your ex coffee?"

"Hey, we're still friends, no? And Stella's not my girlfriend."

You hesitated. But, coffee is coffee after all. "Alright. You know how I like it?"

"How can I forget?"

You could hear the smile from his voice and, ultimately, it made you smile too. "I'll join you in a bit, then?"

"Just hurry before it gets cold."

And so, you took off, not forgetting to grab your umbrella in the process since it was raining lightly. It took you less than five minutes from your dorm to the coffee trailer. Min Ho, in all of his glory, stood patiently next to it with two cups in hands and his hair slightly damped since he put his umbrella away until you arrived. He was rocking his body back and forth, visibly waiting.

"You could have gotten me a large," you commented, grabbing his attention.

He chuckled. "For you, m'lady," he held the coffee to you.

You grabbed it, glad to see it was still warm. "Thanks."

He opened his umbrella again and you walked side by side towards the school building. Taking a sip, you were more than happy to get warmed up. Plus, it was just how you liked it.

"The ones you make are still better," you pointed out.

"I know," he cocked an eyebrow. "I hate to say this but it is different without you at the dorms."

"Don't get all nostalgic, it doesn't suit you."

He sipped his coffee before shrugging. "It's a fact, though. I have nobody to bicker with."

Your eyes grew, offended, and just when you were about to give him a slight slap on the arm, you were quickly interrupted by his father.

"So, how's my favourite student doing?" Mr. Moon asked, only for Min Ho to react disgusted.

"A bit early for blatant nepotism, dad."

"I was talking to your girlfriend, the shark," he pointed towards you and you body stiffened.

"Sorry about that... again. And we're not-"

He cut you off. "It's okay, I loved it," he complimented before turning to his son. "So, have you decided about the cabin for the long weekend?" Noticing Min Ho only seemed confused, he continued. "Just you and me, one-on-one on the slopes? You used to love when I took you skiing as a kid."

"That was Joon Ho. Not me. Anyways, Stella and I have plans this weekend."

"Oh I thought-" Mr. Moon started, glancing at you for a second. "Nevermind. Well, it would be a shame to let this house go to waste, again," he said before leaving the two of you be.

"Y/N-" Min Ho started, obviously wanting to explain the Stella thing.

But you ignored it. "Your dad's not doing a Seollal get-together with the whole family?"

He sighed, upset by your avoidance but he still answered. "All my siblings are spending the holidays with their moms. Joon Ho is on tour, meaning I'm his last resort."

"I mean, he is still putting in the effort of asking you. Who knows, maybe it's a chance for you to-"

"Torture myself?" he interrupted you. "Forget it. We have an assembly to go to before class."

The assembly in itself was not so interesting, as per usual. Stella joined Min Ho, to begin with, which did not please you much. Especially seeing her hold Min Ho's arm the way you used to. Otherwise, Alex was trying his best to catch the students' interest, which was pretty sad to watch. Madison was being the Korean obsessed girl that she is. And Mr. Moon had to steal the show. He announced a student talent showcase at the end of the semester where the winner would receive a cash prize. At the mention of it, you immediately looked at Dae.

And by the end of the assembly, your friends seemed to have the same thought as they encouraged Dae to sign up for it, while Kitty and Stella followed behind the four of you, having a conversation of their own.

"You have to enter the contest," Q said excitedly. "You have the voice of an angel."

Dae nodded. "My family could use the money. But singing is just, like, my hobby."

"I got you, bro. I'll coach you. Manager-performer dream team, baby," Min Ho offered. "And, I won't even take commission."

Dae chuckled, remaining doubtful. "But do you think I could actually win?"

"Yeah," you and Q affirmed.

That visibly encouraged him. "Okay, then. Let's do it."

Arriving at the dance studio, you came to fetch Dae after he texted you. Apparently, Min Ho and Eunice were making his first rehearsal hell and knowing you, he hoped you could get him out of it. As you walked in, you were less than surprised to see Stella tagging along as she observed Dae dancing messily. You chuckled to yourself, leaning on the door frame to not disturb them. You wanted to see Dae suffer a bit, it was kind of funny.

"This isn't going to work," he let out, discouraged.

Eunice scoffed. "It is not my fault that you can't handle a little constructive criticism."

Stella sighed. "Okay, why don't you tell them your brilliant idea?" she asked Min Ho, not forgetting to touch his arm in the process.

You swallowed whatever feeling you were having as Min Ho spoke. "Well, I thought of the cherry on top for your performance. When the song ends, you spin around, bend her back, and lay one on her."

Dae frowned. "What do you mean, 'lay one on her'?"

"What I mean is..."

You wanted a show, you got a show. Spinning Stella around, Min Ho swiftly held her before bending her back, just like he had described. And he laid one on her. Their lips met briefly but the small gesture was enough to make your eyes water. What hurt even more was Stella's satisfied grin, like she had won something. Maybe she did.

"My boy's right."

You jumped at the voice while Mr. Moon walked in the room past you. Finally, Min Ho spotted you. You couldn't tell what his face was saying, but it was nothing good. It was a mix of shame, fear, guilt... And to be honest, you couldn't care less about how he was feeling.

"Your instinct is so spot on, son," he continued and Min Ho nodded, thankful. "All right, I won't distract you. I just wanted to say Baek Jong Won said he'll be happy to cook a dinner at the cabin this weekend. I know how much you love his ramyun."

"The famous chef?" Stella asked, stars in her eyes almost.

"Yeah, he's just a family friend. Think about it." He turned around to leave and smiled at you in acknowledgement as he went past you again. "Miss Park, always a pleasure."

"Your dad's really trying," Stella said, but was ignored.

"Where were we?" Min Ho went back to Eunice and Dae.

"I was just about to leave," Dae said, looking at you. "Sorry, I can't do this."

He joined you while the others called for him. Min Ho frowned, looking back and forth at the both of you but you just took Dae's wrist and rushed to get him out of there — get you both out of there. Deciding you both deserved food for each of your problems, you went to the convenience store to get some instant noodles together. You insisted that it was on you, and even if Dae tried to pay for himself, he ended up letting you take care of it.

Finally seated, you both slurped in silence, enjoying the flavours rather than speak about your issues. That was something the both of you needed terribly. But you couldn't avoid it for too long.

"I think I won't do the talent showcase," Dae stated.

You moved your eyes from your food to him. "One bad rehearsal does not mean you have to give up."

"Did you see me there, Y/N? I was a mess."

You shook your head. "You were definitely out of your comfort zone, but you weren't a mess. You had three people working with you, that's something. They know you've got what it takes."

He sighed. "I don't know... Ah, and sorry about Min Ho. I didn't know they would kiss in front of you or..."

You smiled. "Thank you for worrying, but I'm fine. You know just like me that it's hard, but you have to accept it won't be the same anymore."

He nodded in agreement. "You and me are pretty much on the same boat, yeah."

"Besides, I'm just glad he at least found someone nice and not some random fangirl."

You both shared some laughter. It felt amazing to spend time with him like this. You reminded yourself once more that he was a true friend you could rely on.

The moment was short as you phone began to ring. Both of you looked at the contact. Speaking of your exes, Kitty was the one calling you.

"What's up?" you answered.

"You know how quiet and subtle you are?"

You raised an eyebrow, unsure as to what she was saying. "I guess."

"I'm planning a small heist with Praveena, but we need help..." she said, trying to not sound too crazy.

"Kitty!"

"I need my mom's time capsule and the only way I can get it is by stealing it."

You shut your eyes, discouraged. "How did you come up with that idea?"

"It was Praveena's, actually. Please, Y/N, I really could use some help."

You breathed out. "You can sneak in without me."

"You know how to walk in a room without being noticed. I could use you as a guide!"

"Ugh... Fine, I'll come."

"Oh my God, you're an angel."

"I am aware," you chuckled.

"I do need one last favor from you, though. Please?"

You paused. "What is it?"

Dressed in dark clothes, you followed Kitty to the archives to join Praveena. For a date, this was... something for sure. You spotted the girl soon enough and she waved at you all.

"Oh, great. You brought the mouse and the muscle."

"I'm the muscle?" Min Ho asked and you lightly kicked his side with your elbow.

"Don't get too excited. Like I said, we just need someone tall enough to reach the high stuff," you snorted. "And Dae and Q were busy, so..."

"Hmm, are you sure it's not because you wanted to see me tonight?"

You glared at him. "After having to disinfect my eyes after you and missy's kiss, no thanks."

"Okay," Praveena stopped your bicker. "Huddle up, here's the plan."

You all formed a circle, huddled up, and it was hard to ignore Min Ho's hand placed around your waist. Of fucking course he was still sending you mixed signals while clearly being happy with Stella.

Praveena went on explaining the plan. You immediately got into action and she walked in, acting as a distraction. She exchanged with the old lady at the front desk before signaling for you three to get in. You discreetly crouched down and you rushed in, making as little noise as possible. Kitty and Min Ho followed your lead and you finally got in. You allowed yourself to stand up and turn on your flashlights.

"Why are we going through all this?" Min Ho complained.

"Because I have a whole other side of my family that my mom came here to find. So if this time capsule has a clue on how I can track them down, I have to have it," Kitty whisper-yelled.

"How touching," he said with no emotion whatsoever, causing you to bump the side of his body again. "Hey, will you stop?"

"Show a bit of empathy, here," you rolled your eyes.

"Well, personally, I'd love to erase the existence of half of my family."

Kitty let out a chuckle before going on about looking through the files. Meanwhile, you and Min Ho looked around aimlessly as you keep discussing.

"Correct me if I'm wrong but did your dad fund an entire arts program to spend time with you?"

"That's his move. Big, shallow gesture to make up for not being there. Like inviting me to a ski cabin for Seollal."

"I mean, do you want to fix things with him? I remember you telling me you do miss him," you pointed out, recalling one of your dates.

"I guess so," he admitted. "But... one-on-one time with him is always stressful. It'd be different if there were a bunch of family members around, like there's supposed to be on Seollal. Or even just very annoying and unpleasant people like yourself. As a buffer."

You hummed, faking a smile. "How kind of you," you said before joining Kitty, starting to get annoyed yourself.

He followed you and placed a hand on your shoulder to stop you. "What if we did that?"

You scoffed. "Use me as your buffer?"

"Well, you and the guys. And might as well ask Covey."

Kitty turned to you at the mention of her name. "Oh! I mean, it'd be more fun than hanging out here for the holiday."

You, for once, agreed. "Yeah, I guess. And we'll have your back if your dad's being difficult."

"Still looking out for me, how sweet," he joked.

"Like you said, I'm still your friend."

He was about to say something but noise coming from the front door made you all hide behind shelves.

"Professor Lee, I can assure you I know aisle 12!" Praveena yelled for you to hear.

"Wait, this is aisle 12!" Kitty whispered making you all change you hiding spot. While Kitty took the left, you and Min Ho too the right.

"Why are you shouting?" Mr. Lee asked Praveena. "I am perfectly capable of hearing you as well. I'm not as old as you think."

"I don't think you're old!"

You tried to peek but Min Ho grabbed you a which inevitably brought you back down. "Are you trying to get us caught?"

"I was just-"

He immediately placed his hand over your mouth to hush you. Meanwhile, his eyes glimmered with the little light there was. You began to breathe heavily and you thought he was doing so too. You did feel his hand getting sweaty and a blush a appeared on both of your faces.

"Y/N, about earlier-"

You stopped him, removing his hand from your face. "I'm happy for you."

He frowned. "No, I'm not-"

"I am, really. Stella seems to care about you."

"Don't fake being happy when I'm hurting you."

Kitty joining you lot made you push him away from you as you both stood on your feet. You hadn't even noticed Praveena and Lee were gone by then.

"Praveena just saved our asses. I mean, it's only our second date," she smiled but you and Minho exchanged a look.

"Date?" you scoffed.

"Kitty, she's sweet-talking an old lady whilst you're third-wheeling who used to be the hottest couple in school."

You buried your face in your hands, getting reminded of his cocky ass. "He just meant that it's not much of a date."

"Why don't you bring her skiing?"

Kitty shrugged. "That's kind of a big step." You and Min Ho sighed but Kitty's eyes then lit up. "Oh my God, I think that's it."

Following where she was pointing at, you finally located the time capsule. Min Ho was quick to get to work, grabbing it for Kitty. Once you've acquired it, you lost no time in getting the hell out of there to join Praveena who was patiently waiting outside. Kitty ran to her for a hug.

"I cannot believe that actually worked. Oh, I wish I had a way to thank you."

"Oh, please," she brushed it off.

Again, you and Min Ho exchanged a look, knowing damn well that you were thinking the exact same thing. And of course, you hated that you still had this type of dynamic.

"Praveena, do you ski?" he asked.

"No, but I snowboard."

Kitty jumped in. "Any chance you want to come with us this weekend to Min Ho's dad's ski cabin?"

"You're inviting me to the Kris Jenner of Korea's vacation home? Hell yeah I wanna come."

"Cool," Kitty giggled. "I can't wait!"

They both began to walk away. As you were about to do the same, Min Ho stopped you by grabbing your hand. You immediately broke away from his hold.

"What?"

He cocked his head to the side. "Don't make this face with me."

"What do you want?"

Seeing you were going to keep the attitude, he spoke. "I know you wanted to cause a diversion the other day, but you forgot your bracelet on the ground."

He took it out of his pocket, presenting it to you. It was still as pretty as shiny as it always has been, maybe even more.

"Min Ho," you breathed out, taking it from him.

"I got it cleaned and I wanted to give it to you when we got coffee. But my dad kind of ruined the moment, so..."

You held it to your chest. "Whatever, I'm just glad I have it back. I forgot that's when I removed it. Thank you."

He nodded. "My pleasure."

He started to walk away, but you were the one to stop him now. "I... My aunt gave me a letter from my father. I haven't opened it yet and I thought we could open it together? I mean, it would definitely help me to read it and maybe it could help you with everything going on with your dad."

He couldn't keep his smile to himself. "I would love to."

The Seollal festival was something everyone had been looking forward to, but especially Juliana. Being the one who she shared her room with now, you listened to her nervousness about exposing her art more than enough. So when it finally came, you were ecstatic to not have to hear about it. And you were also happy for her, obviously.

"Thanks for helping me with setting up the booth."

"No worries," you smiled. "I do want to get food before it runs out..."

She laughed. "Go! Anyway, Yuri should be here any minute."

You ran to get any food you could lay your hands on. It went from Korean delicacies to traditional sweets. And man those sweets were good. From afar, you caught a glimpse of Dae. He seemed to have seen you at the same time since he was already signing for you to come join him. You made your way through the crowd and finally reached him. When you spotted Bora, his little sister, you saw she was eating the same one you had just gotten for yourself.

"Bora, look! We like the same things."

Her eyes grew. "Dae keeps saying it's too sugary, but I think he has bad taste."

You crouched to whisper in her ear. "Between you and me, I think you're right."

She laughed and Dae could only sigh. "Bora, that's your last sweet," he warned and she nodded.

As you sat down, you finally noticed the happy couple who was sat just next to Bora. While you gave Stella a warm smile, you bluntly ignored Min Ho. When you were alone, you were more than happy to be friendly. In front of his new girlfriend, however, it was better to not interact to avoid any argument — that included between you and him, them, or you and her. She was your roommate, you had to have her back somehow.

"Since when do you like children?" he asked.

"You don't know everything about me. That, or you don't pay attention when I talk."

You stared at him with mischievous eyes and he quickly caught on you were simply teasing him. Two could play this game.

"Try me."

Stella put her hand on his arm. "Min Ho," she said in a warning tone.

"What? I like a challenge."

You raised an eyebrow. "Rain check on that, your girlfriend's right. Save your knowledge for trivia night at your dad's cabin."

She seemed to agree with you. "That sounds fun, we should do that instead."

He huffed. "Fine, but we'll see who knows the other better."

The rest of the event went on smoothly surprisingly. Min Ho and you did bicker a lot but Stella joined in instead of being bothered about it. In fact, she and you kind of bonded over some quirks you could not stand about Min Ho. In a way, it felt bittersweet to know she was now the one to enjoy Min Ho's chivalry. On another part, bonding with Stella allowed you to see this as a new chapter. Yes, maybe there will always be a weird tension between Min Ho and you, but you knew you could go past it.

And now, it was time for ski.

"Have you packed?" Stella asked after knocking at your door.

"I just need a few more things and I'll join you."

"I'll be waiting at the cars outside."

You exchanged a smile and you continued to pack. Min Ho did mention there would be a hot tub. And Q did encourage you to buy that one swimsuit when you went shopping. That can never hurt, right? The only thing missing now was the letter. And for the life of you, you could not find it. You were convinced you left it in the bottom drawer of your desk but it was like it vanished into thin air. To say you were frustrated would be an understatement. You were on full panic mode. This was one of the last things your dad left before dying, and your aunt entrusted you with it. How could you lose it?

Seeing that time was passing, you concluded you'd have to look for it when you'd be back. Maybe ask Kitty or Min Ho to help you. Closing your suitcase, you grabbed your coat and headed out.

Only... when you opened the door... you were at loss for words. Not even that, you completely froze at the sight in front of you.

"Covey, cars are here. Let's go!" Min Ho yelled out as he bursted in your dorm.

When his eyes landed on Kitty and Yuri kissing, his reaction was identical to yours. Joining him, you were then noticed by the pair who showed nothing but shame.

taglist: @melonshifts | @nanaspalette | @soobin-chois | @lenilla15  | @purplelandsworld | @smugrogerina | @jaehyunicecream | @thesassy-mia | @chaotic-world-of-the-j | @classicroyalty | @kpopsstuffs | @tinyelfperson | @yukichan67  | @moonminji | @sweetbokji | @walkietalkie333 | @necrozica | @xletsrunaway-together | @automaticpatroltragedy | @navs-bhat | @dragonwitchy | @jillsvalentinex | @world-wide-bhielat | @marina468 | @munsonsquinn | @spideylovin | @navyhua23 | @mintydump | @simplyy-dazed | @firstclassjaylee | @viviandarkbloom06 | @lifrimen | @seseikoko | @rwbie | @minghaosimp | @alyselenai | @st4rryhae | @estherr80 | @yeulikehani | @itgetzweird08 | @angel-graces-world-of-chaos | @gordorio | @thesparkling-diamond27 | @birdonparadise | @grace | @rakkizu | @timetoten | @stilestotherescue | @regencyripper

Copyright © 2025 skzhua. All rights reserved.

[coff33andb00ks]

Until You

Part One | Part Two

charles leclerc x female pop singer!reader x oscar piastri f1 smau with intermittent scenes fc: none it's a mix of taylor swift, sabrina carpenter, and random pinterest ladies. {voice claim is adele}

Summary: he drives vroom vrooms, she sings soulful tunes. there's no way in hell this is gonna work, right? Warnings: language Notes: my first foray into smau and holy shit these are a lot of fun (and work omg). special thanks to @driverlando for the encouragement and listening to me whine

ynyln

liked by charles_leclrec, landonorris, pierregasly and 3,689,476 others ynyln: Merci beaucoup, Paris! Je t'aime et à bientôt!! ❤️💋 user1: formula one what are you doing here     user2: she's always been a fan? user3: hope you're ok!! <3 user4: mother showing us all why she's mother pierregasly: magnifique spectacle, rendez-vous à Monaco! user5: did anyone see the fan vides of the f1 boys there?      user6: she's gonna be at Monaco?!?!      user7: were they in vip?      user5: yeah but from what I've seen they didn't go backstage or anything user7: announce split from shitbag bf then perform best show of her tour? queen shit

ynyln

liked by mclaren, charles_leclrec, scuderriaferrari and 2,912,672 others ynyln: For the first time I will be attending a Grand Prix! Vroom vrooms make my heart go brr. Eternally grateful to scuderiaferrari for the invitation. (They don't have to know my favorite driver is on mclaren) 📷: poster of the gp I was supposed to go to 2 years ago scuderriaferrari: 🤨 scuderriaferrari: we're sure you'll be a converted tifosi by Sunday mclaren: yn is our fan 🙏🏻 Oscar and Lando on cloud 9 now f1: Looking forward to (finally) welcoming you! user4: alright y'all is she a Lando or Oscar girlie      ynyln: can't I love them both 🥺 user8: great now I gotta watch all the grand prix stuff this week for a glimpse of mother user7: why didn't you go 2 years ago?     user8: J*stin that's why ynbff: I know this is so beyond huge for you! You're going to have such a great time!! (liked by ynyln) user4: idk but it's weird she's all happy and stuff right after the end of her relationship with IDK      user1: not really? If you look back for the past year they were rarely seen together. He didn't even go to her launch party in London      user5: yeah anyone could see they were over long before they announced it. she probably mourned it already

ynyln

liked by charles_leclrec, ybffn, oscarpiastri, landonorris, and 4,698,981 others

ynyln: Dinner in Monte Carlo. Do I go all in on black or red?

scuderriaferrari: red, obviously landonorris: black charles_leclerc: Red maxverstappen1: Black ynyln: all these blue check marks where are my lil lattes 😩 user2: yn stays forgetting she's the biggest blue check mark user1: not max joining in the mclaren vs ferrari fight for YN mclaren: Papaya 🥺 (but black)      scuderiaferrari: go comment on your own guest's posts      mclaren: you sent the invite after we mentioned doing it      landonorris: do better admin      mclaren: We'll get her next time      redbullracing: not if we get her first      landonorris: if not we're going on strike      oscarpiastri: we what      landonorris: for legal reasons that was a joke 🙄 oscarpiastri: I quite like the red user3: I love that YN asked opinions on her fit but it's just f1 drivers and admins fighting over her 🍿🍿 (liked by author)      ynyln: it's amazing right? no one's fought over me before user3: bffr sabrinacarpenter: love the black but the red slays 🫶🏻 redbullracing: we vote blue      mclaren: that's not an option?      redbullracing: we still vote blue      scuderiaferrari: don't you have an energy drink to go sell user4: came for the pics, stayed for the f1 chaos

ynyln has added to their story

caption: making men wait for selfies before i order food? yes

Y/n and Charles lingered over their wine, and when yn/bff made the signal that they should get going y/n waved her off. Usually she hated social settings, but Charles was so personable and warm that she felt like she was chatting with a longtime friend. "You can go, Pete can get me back to the hotel," she said, glancing to the table in the corner, where Pete and Charles's bodyguards sat. The dining room was private, and she had the feeling that Ferrari had paid to have the restaurant closed to anyone but their small party for the night.

"I will make sure she gets back safely," Charles promised.

Yn/bff relented, excusing herself and leaving. The next several moments YN bid goodnight to the others, smiling sweetly and shaking hands of the Ferrari personnel and members of the team, and finally Carlos, who shared a knowing look with Charles before he left.

"You don't have to stay with me," she said as the waiter came to refill their glasses.

"No, I am having a wonderful time." He smiled, asking the waiter to leave the bottle. "I have wanted to meet you for a long time."

That surprised her. "Really?" she asked, sipping her wine.

He nodded, standing and bringing his glass and the bottle around so he could sit next to her. "I've been a fan of yours since – ah, I'm bad at song titles. The song where it's – I heard that you're settled down. I can't sing, I'm sorry."

She smiled. "Someone Like You?"

"Yes, that one." Charles leaned one arm on the table. "A few of us came to Paris and we were supposed to come backstage after the show, but after what happened…"

"I saw pictures and videos of you and – Lando and Pierre right? I wish I could have met you then – I've been a fan forever, but…" She swallowed hard, glancing down briefly. "I cancelled my post show meetings," she murmured. "It didn't seem right."

"Were you…" He paused, then shook his head. "It is none of my business."

"Was I too upset?" she guessed, taking another sip as the surprised flashed in his eyes. "I suppose I was. You were at the show… Those emotional moments weren't rehearsed."

"I could tell."

"Do you want to know the crazy part?" She didn't know why she was sharing this with him. He was a stranger. Yet she felt so at ease with him. More at ease than she had in a long time, really. "I wasn't crying for him."

"Who were you crying for, chérie?" he asked softly.

"Myself. For the wasted time, the pain I put myself through." Y/n gave her head a little shake. "I'm sorry, you don't want to hear about that."

"I want to hear about anything you wish to say."

"Are you always this charming?" she asked.

"I'm not charming. That makes it sound like I'm trying to make you like me. I am just… Me, y/n."

"You. Charles Leclerc, one of the top drivers in formula one."

"And you are just y/n, queen of music."

"I wasn't always."

"Neither was I."

"Touche," she sighed, lightly clinking her glass to his. "But you are charming."

"Perhaps I am just charmed. I am glad you went with the red." His eyes stayed on her as he finished his wine. Then he glanced to the corner, hesitating before facing her again. "Would you like to go somewhere more private?"

She hesitated. She didn't know him. The last thing she needed was some messy disaster of a fling, or to dive into a new relationship. And yet… "Yes," she whispered.

tbc.

[rookiesbookies]

Konig and His Loser

Sex Doll AU, here's the one that won my poll. sorry he took so long- big thank you to @shotmrmiller for helping me edit and get it to perfection ❤️

Masterlist is pinned on profile as always, check out my AU list for more like this. Don’t forget to leave me a comment (i always try to respond) or a request in my inbox (i also try to respond to these when I can), a reblog, or even just a like to let me know what yall want to see!

Konig seemed pretty similar to the other stories but she had found him in a magazine. A simple magazine ad, but she just called it in, why not right?

Well, she hadn’t read the size well and was lucky that they had to call a moving company to get him in from the warehouse. 

She couldn't believe her luck as she watched the movers gingerly maneuver the box that held Konig through the narrow hallway of her apartment building. 

As they finally managed to get Konig into her living room, just from the outside of his box she could tell he was huge.

After fighting open the box once the movers had left, she stood back in awe, taking in every intricately carved detail of his frame. His features were striking yet delicate, a perfect balance of strength and vulnerability that seemed to draw her in deeper with each passing moment.

Once freed she saw that he was a masterpiece in person, not done justice by the pages of that damned ad, a work of art that had seemingly materialized from her dreams onto the glossy pages of the magazine ad. 

Especially his scars. The big ugly ones that littered his face. He looked like whatever mask he had come with had caught on fire at some point. She had a hard time telling if it was by design or not.

She spent hours just sitting in front of him, tracing the lines and curves of his form with her fingertips, feeling his skin and texture. He felt so close to human. It was as if he held a piece of her soul within him, a connection that transcended time and space.

Over the days that followed, she found herself drawn to Konig more and more, losing herself in the depths of his enigmatic presence. She tried hard to figure out how to 'activate' him as he did turn on in the instruction manual. They manual made it clear there seemed to be one, but as she fiddled with his clothes and appercence to try to turn her new toy on.

She truly did her best but she had been watching some movies from her childhood on reruns when the idea of 'true love's kiss' jumped into her mind.

She felt him breathe against her after she planted it softly on his lip. His hands moved to her hips and pulled her closer and over his lap. He held her close, his touch familiar and comforting, but maybe that was just her delusion. She could feel the warmth of his body against hers as they embraced in the dimly lit room. 

The soft patter of rain on the windows created a soothing background melody to their not so silent dance. She nestled into his arms, her heart racing with a mix of excitement and apprehension. Time seemed to stand still as they lingered in that moment of intimacy, savoring the connection that bound them together. 

Despite the mask that concealed his identity, she knew him intimately and cherished the bond they shared beyond words or appearances in some deep, almost spiritual way. And so they remained entwined, two souls intertwined in a delicate balance of love and uncertainty, lost in the beauty of their silent embrace.

He stayed quiet, almost scary quiet and they kissed over his mask. Feeling eachother’s lips through the fabric of an old t-shirt.

His hands moved lower, tracing the curves of her body as he rid her of her pajama pants. She gasped at the touch, her skin tingling with desire. His fingers were gentle yet firm, leaving a trail of heat in their wake, his tough fingers from working on the field roaming her.

She couldn't help but feel self-conscious as his eyes roamed over her exposed body. He didn't seem to mind. In fact, his touch was filled with such tenderness and adoration that it made her heart swell with emotion.

He kissed her again, keeping the thin barrier of his mask, his lips demanding and insistent. She responded eagerly, losing herself in the passion that consumed them both. For a moment, she forgot about everything else - the world outside their room, their past lives and all their struggles. All that mattered was this moment and the overwhelming sense of love they shared. His hulking figure even more imposing with all his gear on.

His hand traveled lower, teasing between her legs until she moaned against his lips. He continued to explore every inch of her body until she was trembling with desire.

He lifted her onto her couch. He scooted up and put her legs over his shoulders and just went to town after draping his mask over her lower lips. It was like he was starved, leaving her gasping. He was messy, her slick coating his face before he lifted himself and leaned her back. He whispered some coaxing things in a language she didn't understand, she assumed they were coaxing at least.

With hesitation, he guided his delicious uncut cock inside of her, it barely escaped his heavy military pants, and she gasped at the sensation. It wasn’t similar to anything she or he had ever experienced before - a perfect pleasure that sent shivers down her spine. He was so big, long, a girthy that she couldn't believe it. She was so on Cloud 9 that she felt like she couldn't breathe. It was like his dick was up in her throat stopping any words from leaving her. His tip hit her cervix and his breathing got heavy with hers as he tore off his helmet with one hand and went back to kissing her, draping his mask over the lower half of her face. Her eyes were rolling around her skull, she was high on the way he rubbing on her insides. The feeling was a certain type of suffocatingly delicious moment as their breaths mixed under his mask.

As they moved together in some perfect harmony, it felt like they were two pieces finally coming together to complete each other's puzzle. She was lost in his embrace, finding solace and comfort in their shared intimacy.

When they finally reached their climax, it felt like fireworks exploding in every corner of the room. He collapsed as gently as he could onto his forearms to keep from falling on her, breathing heavily as they basked in the aftermath of their love.

For a while, they lay there in silence, feeling content and fulfilled in each other's presence. As the rain continued to pour outside, they remained wrapped up in each other- two imperfect beings finding perfection in their love for one another.

All she could think about was, from how he panted like a dog, maybe he was a loser too.

[kiragecko]

What’s your favourite period of Batfamily dynamics?

What’s the one that you’re most interested about exploring through fanfic? Reading the comics for? Reinterpreting, so that it Actually Works? Not the best one, but the one that gets you most excited (even if that 'excitement' is furious fix-it fics, or long metas about how it COULD have been so good)! You don’t even need to have READ the comics. Choose the period that makes the most interesting fanfic!

(Edit: If you prefer stuff that mixes periods, or non-comics' canons, I've added a follow-up poll in a reblog. Answer this poll based on what's most similar to your interests - which characters tend to be around, is Dick a teen on a superhero team, etc. And then give me the nuance in the next poll!)

I did this in 2023, as well, but 10 options wasn't QUITE enough, and polls couldn't handle formatting. So we're trying again ;) Thanks to @zahri-melitor for most of the post-Flashpoint details! (Any mistakes are my additions.)

Here are our challengers!

1. The Golden Age (1939 - 1960) - Bruce and Dick need no motivation beyond 'it's the right thing to do' and 'we're AWESOME' (and why would they?), Bruce murders people in the (very) early issues, and Alfred is a bumbling fool who isn't yet Alfred - [22 years]

2. The Silver Age (1960 - 1980) - Dick gets fun Teen Titans friends, Bruce goes on space/time travel adventures, Alfred still didn't raise Bruce, and, after a few fumbles with other female 'wholesome heterosexual dynamics here' characters, we get BABS - [21 years]

3. Early - Mid 80s (1980 - 1986) - Dick gets to be oh so melodramatic with his new angsty Titans friends in New York, Bruce says 'Chum' and 'Lad' as he ruffles tiny Jason's hair, Alfred raised Bruce and is his awesome self, we realize Babs will keep adding impressive new jobs to her resume forever (Senator! Librarian! Lawyer!), and they start to be an actual family - [7 years]

4. Late 80s - Early 90s (1986-1992) - The Dark Knight Returns heralds a dark new era, Babs is crippled, and Jason dies. Tim is a new type of Robin - one who supports Batman. Babs rebuilds herself, no child needed. Dick and Bruce try, but mostly fail, to communicate. Alfred becomes the heart of a family that doesn't know it's a family - [7 years]

5. The 90s (1992 - 1999) - Dick and Tim are brothers. Oracle rejoins the Batfamily, while continuing her separate life. Dick moves from New York to Blüdhaven, closer to the Bats than the Titans. Bruce has 2 sons, even though neither realize he thinks that way. Catwoman grudgingly dabbles with heroism. Steph arrives, and exists on the edges, only connected to the family through Tim. A variety of other people come and go through their lives - Jean-Paul, Helena Bertinelli, Harold, Sasha Bordeaux, etc, and Gotham is a whole CITY of heroes - [8 years]

6. Early 2000s (1999 - 2003) - The family grows and becomes tighter knit. Cass continues Babs' legacy, and Steph finally gets a friend. Babs and Alfred are in some ways joint centres of the family, and fight with Bruce about how to raise kids. Dick calls Tim 'little brother' for the first time. Tim starts Young Justice, and Dick is back with his oldest friends - [5 years]

7. Mid 2000s (2003 - 2007) - The era of death. Donna dies, Dick's team disbands, and Tim's team renames themselves the Teen Titans. Bad idea, many teens die, including most of Tim's friends. Steph dies. Tim and Cass get close, until Cass is brainwashed and kills a lot of people. Many, many people around Dick are murdered, and eventually Blüdhaven is exploded. Jason is back from the dead, and exuberantly contributing to the murders. Bruce can't work with equals, and Babs leaves the city. Dick is furious with Jason, Jason is violent towards Tim, and Tim is far less forgiving than fanon pretends. Babs gets colder, Alfred gets older, and Bruce shuts down - [5 years]

8. Late 2000s (2007 - 2011) - The era of grief. Bruce, Dick, and Tim take a year long cruise to recover. Cass, Steph, and Babs eventually return. But the scars run deep. Everyone's relationships are shaky. Jason has a different motivation every arc. Tim is trying to clone people and being head-hunted by Ra's al Ghul. Damian shows up and topples the already unsteady situation. Bruce dies. Cass leaves. Tim fights with Dick and goes off to prove Bruce is alive. Damian and Steph both rebuild themselves in the ashes, while Dick tries to hope for a better future - [5 years]

9. The New 52 (2012 - 2016) - The universe is rebooted. Jason has friends now, and for some reason is the only Bat Tim talks to? Dick spends some time as a secret agent. Babs is Batgirl again. Damian and Kate continue their preboot growth. Tim … exists. Steph and Cass mostly don't. Harper and Duke are introduced, but not really integrated. Everything is centred around Bruce. Most of the past no longer exists, and along with it, most of their relationships - [5 years]

10. Rebirth (2016 - 2020) - A world in transition, struggling for identity. Comics slowly bring in previous continuity, and it's uncertain what exists for who. (Except for Jason, we keep the new Jason.) Both Dick and Bruce spend a lot of time with amnesia. Tim gets a turn being fake dead. Duke finally gets a costume and codename. Selina almost marries Bruce, but editorial explicitly says that Bruce isn't allowed to have nice things. Nuclear family is centred over found family, but everyone is still kept apart. (And Jason should be kept even farther away for his own safety!) Eventually, Alfred dies, and Damian runs away from home - [4 years]

11. Infinite Frontier (2020 - 2025) - Relationships and memories get reestablished. A few characters stay their rebooted versions, some reinstall the old version, and many are an complex mix of both. People start being able to interact without Bruce around. Cass and Steph become Batgirl alongside Babs, and Babs starts reestablishing Oracle. Tim becomes Robin alongside Damian, and they explore the differences in their roles. Tim also rejoins Young Justice and remembers his friends, and Dick regains his relationships with the Titans - [5 years]

[archibaldtuttle]

Alien : Romulus - a 7/10 reason to stop making Alien films

This review will be spoiler-free

When I came out of the theater yesterday, after having gone through a viewing of Alien Romulus, I caught myself agreeing with my friends - this was pretty good!

And I am beyond poisoned about the Alien franchise since Ridley Scott got his grubby paws all over it with Prometheus. The only reason I made the effort to move my ass to the theater to see this one was because he wasn't directing (and also I didn't have to pay for it) (thanks sib).

I knew Alvarez from two of his previous films, the 2013 remake of Evil Dead and Don't Breathe. I am pretty mixed on both - they demonstrate solid filmmaking abilities and (in the case of Evil Dead), a deep respect for franchises he's adding to. However they are also a little heavy on the jumpscares for my taste, and in the case of Don't Breathe I just can't praise the film without having to mention that the third act twist is gross in an entirely unnecessary, shock-value way, that does nothing for the film thematically.

That did give me some hope for Romulus however, because that third act twist told me Alvarez likes talking about rape and impregnation. And contrary to Don't Breathe... that's right at home in Alien.

So what about the film then? It's good. Solid premise, I like that we're finally, finally, seven films in, seeing the planet-side society that births all those rundown spaceships. Good pair of main characters with on one side a demonstrably resourceful Rain and on the other a very nuanced look at the franchise's synthetics with Andy. The others are more forgettable but I can't blame that too much on the film - they're well characterized in a few short scenes and that's all I can expect really. The build-up is solid, the various ticking clocks and sources of tensions well established.

What I find particularly notable is the really good setpieces and the use of facehuggers in a way I've wanted to see for a long time. Very good physical effects supplemented by good to ok-ish CGI. The writing is very heavy-handed - I wish more people looked at what O'Bannon did with exposition before they write their own Alien scripts. I do give credit to Alvarez and his co-writer Sayagues for the cool concepts explored and the way they thread Andy's character exploration through them.

The editing is mostly blameless - I wouldn't call it great or even that good, especially with how hectic it gets during some more action-ey scenes, but you can tell Roberts isn't specialized or even used to horror films. I guess he took from his experience on Pressure which would explain a lot... The score is really good, one of the highlights of the film in my opinion - I've liked almost all I've heard from Wallfisch so I wasn't surprised to find out he did this one.

So why did I give this review a very baitey title. It became clear as I was watching the fourth, then the inevitable fifth act unfold, that we were, collectively, scraping the barrel on what can be done with Alien. Prometheus and Covenant, beyond the fact that they were garbage movies, were already trying desperately to find new things to do with the concept. Romulus succeeded, for the most part, in finding new ways to twist it into something interesting, something we hadn't seen before (or at least not entirely). And I'm pretty sure that's it.

I don't want more directors to spend months racking their brains to try and find three or more scene setups that haven't already been done in seven main films, two AVP films and countless video games, in order to string them together into a coherent 2 and a half hour flick. I don't think it's impossible, Alvarez clearly demonstrated that he could do it and I'm pretty sure other people could. But why waste so much time, talent and energy on a series that objectively does not need expanding upon?

I know why, it's because the current studio system is allergic to anything that doesn't have brand recognition. But I think it's sad. And I think it would be a lot more gracious to put an end to a franchise after a pretty good film that did all it could to honor its predecessors rather than try to keep squeezing more out of it until it turns into the horror version of Star Wars.

[achubbydumpling]

Okay hear me out also (definitely not cannon compliant but like ) imagine Bucky gaining a bunch of weight due to the serum and mostly due to kinky eating effects but what do you think would happen when Bucky gets too big for his arm. Do you think he’d just have to program it to keep shoveling food ? Or do you think he’d have to ask Steve all flustered to get him a bigger arm

oh-ho-ho do I have thoughts about this one, idk if you're still around, but if you are enjoy Bucky getting too big for his arm!

After gaining a good 90 lbs Bucky has gotten used to outgrowing clothes and with that next big gaining milestone coming up, of course, he's outgrowing another wardrobe.

As much as that usually turns him on, when he's spending another lazy weekend with Steve, when Bucky actually has to go out and get things done it can get quite annoying. He pushes his thumb into his waistband and tries to get any kind of relief from being practically cut in half. Of course, it doesn't work and that last bite of doughnut he pushes in his mouth as he enters the Avengers tower doesn't help either.

Even though he's been going to these monthly appointments pretty much since he moved back to the US with Steve nerves still got to him every time. Food helped -- with the anxiety at least.

"Good morning, Mr. Barnes," a disembodied voice greeted him.

As rude as he felt for not answering Bucky just couldn't get used to talking to thin air.

"Consider brushing the powdered sugar off your chest before heading up, Sir."

His double chin bunched up as he looked down and sure enough his chest moobs were speckled in white. The black shirt probably wasn't the best decision this morning, but it was the only one that still fit over Bucky's belly without constantly riding up. Bucky didn't even entertain the thought that half a dozen powdered doughnuts on his way here were a bad decision.

Though the elevator was high-tech, riding all the way up to the top floors still took a few seconds. Surrounded by mirrors Bucky couldn't help but look at himself. He was big. Noticeably chubby by now with an actual belly. The rest of his body seemed to finally be catching up too. Thicker thighs and arms. His eyes fell on his chest and Bucky winced slightly at just how form-fitting even his biggest shirt was by now.

Bruce hadn't commented on Bucky's weight gain beyond asking whether Bucky had noticed and if he wanted to do anything about it. Very neutral, very professional. Bucky had grabbed a meal big enough for four on the way home and jerked off afterwards. Maybe some wires had gotten mixed up after freezing and unfreezing his brain a few dozen times.

(Though if he was honest with himself Bucky had been fascinated by the way his body could change long before any Hydra goon had gotten their hands on it. He looked back fondly on that summer before his last big growth spurt where his body had driven up his appetite and pack on the pounds in just a few weeks.)

He pulled the shirt away from his chest, trying to stretch the fabric a bit more. Another pull at his waistband. Why did he choose jeans this morning? A scratch at his hips, then his shoulder. Probably more stretch marks growing there too.

"James," Bruce greeted him as soon as the elevator doors opened.

"How are you doing today?"

Bucky shrugged his shoulders and smiled lightly. It always took a while for his vocal chords to warm up, up here.

Bruce narrated every step and routine examination and soon enough Bucky found his voice again.

"Right, last part for today. Would you mind taking off your shirt so I can take a look at your arm?"

Bucky obliged.

"Have you noticed anything unusual lately? Pain, discomfort, anything?" Bruce asked.

Bucky shook his head, then added: "it's been a bit itchy. The part where it turns into metal."

A moment passed in silence, then Bruce acknowledged what Bucky had said with a "hmm". Bucky could feel his heart rate increase.

Bruce's hand hovered over Bucky's left shoulder.

"May I?"

Bucky nodded. Bruce touched the seam of the prosthesis carefully, the sensation filtered in and out as he moved from flesh to metal to skin so scarred the nerve endings were gone. Some part felt raw to the touch, like a burn, but mostly it just felt a bit uncomfortable and itchy. Like the rest of his body right now.

Going through a growth spurt, Bucky thought slightly amused.

"What are you thinking?" Bucky finally broke the silence. Bruce hummed once more then straightened up.

"Can I ask: How much weight have you gained this month?" Bruce's eyes fell on Bucky's belly, then snapped back up to his face, "Or in total?"

Bucky couldn't help the embarrassment every time someone other than Steve brought up his weight. He could feel his cheeks heat up. Bucky cleared his throat.

"Ninety pounds."

Bruce nodded, his face schooled deliberately neutral.

"It's normal to gain some weight while adjusting to civilian life," Bruce reassured him.

Bucky could tell he was having a hard time finding the right words for the next sentence though.

"I wouldn't worry about it but it seems like your prosthesis isn't made to keep up with such… growth."

Bucky reacted with a strangled "uh-hu".

"Usually I would recommend getting fitted for a new socket, but as you know it's a bit more difficult in your case. I'd like to talk this over with Tony to see what we can do, if that's ok with you?"

Stark had brought up the idea of a redesign the first time Bucky had visited the Tower. Back then he'd still been unstable, unused to this new situation. Anyone prodding at his prosthesis had quickly ended in a panic attack and him fleeing the building.

Bucky could see Bruce's hesitance to even ask, but he'd gotten a lot more settled in recent years.

"Yeah," Bucky nodded his head, "ask Stark what he thinks. If he can do anything to, uh, make it fit better."

Outgrowing the arm, jesus, he'd really thought having to buy another whole wardrobe would be the worst/best thing about the big 1-0-0 milestone.

Bucky's hand wanders to his should and sure enough now he can feel it. The way the skin bulges around the metal seam of the prosthesis. How hadn't he noticed before?

In this position his shirt sleeve was also digging into his upper arm, not because of a bulging bicep but from all the fat he'd put on there. Faint white stretch marks snaked up from his arm pit, with a few new red ones in between.

The rest of the appointment passed quickly. Bucky grabbed lunch on the way home for Steve and him from a Mexican place, then decided to hit up a bakery too -- after all they had a new milestone to celebrate.

[tiathecreator]

⋆⭒˚｡⋆ dance with me ( connie springer ) !

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎.𖥔 ݁ ˖✎ᝰ synopsis — " and i really want you to get close to me so won't you dance with me ? " blk reader.

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ࿐ ࿔*:･ﾟwarnings — mentions of alcohol consumption ( all characters are of age ), sensual dancing, & swearing.

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡˚ tia speaks — haiii ! i've been itching to write this concept and i've finally figured out who i wanted to write it for. this is loosely based on 'save the last dance' or like 'honey', that's the vibe i'm going for! i also think connie is so '90s love coded so i keep using him when i write this concept! this is a really quick and short write but i need to write this. probably gonna write him in this 90s vibe setting a lot. super excited to write this!

your hips switched to the beat of the song as made your to the dance floor with your friends, each of you slightly tipsy from the shots you took ten minutes ago. it was eren's night to dj and he got you all in for free like he usually did when he was spinning. he knew all the best song to get the club hype and the dance floor crowded.

you were in mixed company right now, having invited onyankopon who invited a few of his friends, including constance 'connie' springer. onyankopon has been trying to set the two of you up since he met you, immediately deciding that you were perfect for his best friend. he had been trying to spark conversation between the two of you, but nothing occurred other than the curious eye contact the two of you shared when he introduce you.

you turned around so that your back was facing mina, twirling your hips and shaking your ass to the beat. you dragged your arms up your body and through your hair, the body wave curls flowing between your fingers. in your ministrations, you looked up and locked eyes with connie, his eye low as the moved from your face to your hips and back again. you maintained the eye contact as you started to do a few different moves, showing off for the attention you acquired. due to that, a small crowd began to form around you, cheering you on as you moved around the dance floor. you finished after a few minutes of entertain the crowd, opting to return to your friends.

"that was fucking awesome," mina exclaimed, shaking your shoulders in excitement.

"been a minute since i seen you move like that," onyankopon added.

"and, i'm about to move my ass to the bar to get another drink. i'll be right back," you said, not waiting for a response as you move through the crowd, practically pushing your way to the bar.

once you reached the bar, you waited for the bartender to come over before ordering a rum and coke. you leaned over on the bar, head down as you attempted to cool off from the humid dance floor. you see connie approach the bar, subtly inching closer to you as you waited for your drink to be finished.

"enjoy the show?" you asked, bundles falling over your shoulder as you turned your head to look at the man.

to call connie attractive would be an understatement. connie is absolutely gorgeous under the club lights. his skin glistens from the sweat lingering on his toned body, his size-too-small t-shirt clinging to his figure in all the right place. he had a fresh buzzcut and stud earrings, the lights shining off of them. he was beyond simply attractive, he was fine.

"yeah, didn't know you could dance like that," connie replied, meeting your eye contact. you shrug it off, playing it cool as the bartender came back with your drink.

"why haven't i seen you dance, springer? not your thing?" you asked, glimpsing at him as you take a sip of your drink, looking at him through your lashes.

"i'm not much of a dancer. besides a little two-step, i can't really do much," he demonstrated his moves with a bit of hesitance, stopping once he noticed you smiling. "don't laugh."

"i'm not, i promise. it wasn't bad. a little stiff, but not bad. at least, you have rhythm," you assured, finishing your drink before pushing off the bar. "wanna dance? i can show you a few things."

your question seemed to shock him as much it shocked you, having spoke before you thought. he took a few seconds to recover before nodding his head and following you to the dance floor. you notice him slowing his pace as the two of you got closer to the dance floor, so you grab him hand and pull him behind you.

you make your way through the crowd of close bodies on the dance floor before letting go of connie's hand and turning to face him.

"show me your two-step again," you tell him, hand placed on your hips as you instruct him. he does as you ask with a bit of reluctance, only fully doing it when you join him. "just loosen up a bit."

he breathed out and relaxed his body as he continued to dance with you, easing into it while looking at you for approval. you began to incorporate your arms as you moved, offering him an encouraging look. he began to follow your example, using his arms to add substance to his dancing. you found yourself moving closer to him as the two of you danced, switching from move to move as you gave him a few pointers.

the floor grew more crowded as a popular song came on, causing you to become chest to chest with connie. your breath mingled with his you gazed into his low eyes, taking a brief glance at his lips before turning around to press your back against his chest. your heart sped up at the contact, hearing connie hum behind you. you looked up for a split second, making eye contact with mina who gave you a smirk and a thumbs up.

you swayed your hips to the tempo of the song as connie moved behind you at the same pace, hands finding your hips to pull you closer. your arms snaked around his neck as you matched his movements, turning your head to get a brief glance of the man behind you. you dragged you arms down your side, cupping the back of his neck to draw him closer as you did so. his breath fanned against your ear, making you smile at the effect you had on him.

the song ended sooner than you hoped, dissipating the intense aura between the two of you. you turned to face connie again before grabbing one of his wrist and dragging him over to where the rest of your friends were. as you approached mina and annie who fanned themselves dramatically, earning playful slaps and pleas to stop from you.

"i see you, springer. got a lil' swag to you," ony joked with his best friend, earning a boyish smirk and a shove from connie. you nudged him with shoulder as you held your phone out.

"you should call me sometime. i could show you something a little better than two-stepping and a body roll," you handed him the device which he quickly took, adding his number in before draping his arm around you and opening the camera to take a picture for his contact. you gave the camera a bright smile, resting your hands on the arm around your shoulders. connie's chin rested on your head before he took the photo, sending himself a text before returning your phone.

"she'll show you something better fo'sho," ony interrupted. "like the four walls of her bedroom."

you reach over and land a light punch to ony's chest. "more like the four walls of the dance studio i volunteer at. getcha' head out the gutta'."

© tiathecreator 2023. all rights reserved.

[lexa-griffins]

Quiet, shy Lexa uses Halloween as an excuse to finally come out of her shell and wear a slutty costume to a party where she meets Clarke

Lexa has been avoiding parties since freshman year of college. She finds no value to dancing drunk people grinding on each other as they try to get lucky. Not to mention the hallowen version of that, a thin excuse to wear as little as possible and have it be socially acceptable, all to have sex with someone you night not even recognize the next day.

And yet, here she is, standing at the doorstep of the biggest mixed frat on campus, wearing what might be the sluttiest woodland fairy costume she could have find.

Its her last year of college, fuck it!

She wanders for a good hour and, as she suspected, she absolutely hates it here. She has swatted about four hands away from her ass and has had one very friendly conversation with a girl suddenly turn into a near fingering ride she did not sign up for.

She's outside by the bushes, questioning if she should leave or not after she finishes her drink when someone sneaks up behind her.

"Not many bushes for the garden fairy to hang out by inside?" The voice is right by her hear and makes Lexa startle, "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you there."

Lexa turns to face Clarke Griffin. Fratgirl extraordinaire, she is also a senior and president of the frat. They have barely spoken despite sharing many classes and being dorm neighbors for a whole year. Lexa finds her beyond hot, sparkling blue eyes and an easy smile. And right now she wears a firefighter costume with a simple black bikini top covering her chest, contrasting with the yellow baggy pants and helmet on her head. Despite the softness of her stomach Lexa has seen her at the gym and knows there is a hardness below it.

"Shouldn't you be inside entertaining guests." Lexa comments, motioning inside where the music is booming.

Loud cheering comes from inside as the vague image of someone being given a lapdance can be seen.

"They seem plenty entertainted to me." Clarke smiles, "you however do not. I dont think ive ever seen you at one of these."

Lexa shakes her head with a closed smile, "Not really my thing."

"And yet here you are. Looking really good if I may add." Her words slur just a bit and Lexa can tell she is a few drops past drunk.

"Thank you. You look..." Lexa tries to think of a word that isnt /sexy/ or /hot/, "very authentic too."

Clarke flashes her a bright smile at that and Lexa can feel her legs shake and her heart beating faster.

"Thanks! You're Lexa right?"

Lexa nods, her smile growing slightly bigger at the fact Clarke knows her name.

"Im Clarke." The girl introduces herself and Lexa has to hold back a chuckle. Who /doesn't/ know who Clarke is.

"I know who you are Clarke, everyone does."

Clarke seems almost bashful at this, bringing her hand to sctrach the back of her head, "eh, I mean you always seemed to not really care who i was so I thought id introduce myself."

Lexa's heart flutters again but she says nothing.

"So why did you decide to come this time?"

Lexa shrugs "its our last year of college and I thought I might as well pretend I had some fun. Even if I'd rather stay behind this bush all night than go back inside.

Clarke chuckles, a low and deep chuckle that makes Lexa feel something tingle between her legs.

They stare at each other for a minute, and Lexa is hyper aware of Clarke eyeing her costume - or lack the off - fully. She has to admit it looks great on her. The fake leaves that make up the bra give her a wonderful lift and the skirt in so short it could classify as a belt. She made a point of adding some glitter to her skin that shines now underneath the low light of the patio.

"That costume looks so fucking good on you." Clarke comments once more, eyes hodded as she stares at Lexa's body.

"Youre drunk." Lexa states although she cant deny how Clarke's stare is affecting her.

"So are you. Your words are more loose, youre ususally so uptight when you talk."

Lexa stares down at her cup, already empty. Maybe she has had one too many.

When she looks back up, Clarke is right in front of her, her chest touching her. Lexa closes her legs firmly, feeling herself growing wetter. She shouldnt.

"You're so hot. The beautiful kind of hot."

Suddenly Lexa feels something poke her. Looking down, she can see Clarke's pants have become a tent

"Clarke...."

She can feels Clarke's breath on her face, her hand on her hip. Their lips inches away.

"Tell me to stop and I will." Clarke whispers.

Lexa closes the gap.

She feels so fucking free right now.

She throws her arms around Clarke, pulling her closer to her. Almost immediately Clarke's hands find her ass, using it as leverage to hold Lexa up into her arms.

"Fuck, I knew you were strong." Lexa moans as she wraps her legs around Clarke's waist.

Clarke chuckles, cocky, before slamming their lips together once more.

"Wanna see strong?" Clarke asks with a smirk and Lexa nods rapidly. Quickly the shorts she wore below her skirt are gone, her wet cunt bare to the autumn air. The sound of clothings hitting the floor follow it and she feels Clarke's hard cock against her.

"Take a deep breath my little fairy, im gonna make you soar."

The colors of the lights coming from inside the house all blur into one as Clarke slams her dick inside of Lexa repeatedly, the shorter girl somehow able to move her hips upwards and she moves Lexa up and down on her dick.

Its sloppy and fast but the thrill of being sressed up and being a bush while a party happens so close by is enough excitment to leave Lexa close to the edge rather fast.

"Ah, Clarke, im gonna cum!" Lexa moans in Clarke's ear, probably louder than she should have, but the loud music muffles her moans.

"Fuck, me too baby, im so close."

With one last thrust Clarke buries herself inside of Lexa fully, cumming hard inside. Lexa locks her legs with as much strength as she can manage around Clarke's waist, bringing them impossible close and sending Lexa over the edge.

"Clarke? You're here?!" The sudden voice alerts the two girls someone is close. Without much time to react, Lexa hops off Clarke in search of her shorts. She slides them on, realizing just as they are in place she is still filled with Clarke's cum. Shit.

"Oh, there you are." It's Octavia, one of Clarke's frat friends, "who's this?"

Lexa looks up to see Clarke fully dressed as if nothing had happened while Lexa shifts on her feet, feeling Clarke's cum drip on to her shorts. Fuck.

"Oh this is Lexa, we have a few classes together." Clarke says casually, "She was about to head out so I was just saying bye to her."

Lexa nods at Clarke's excuse, glad she's giving her an outing given her... state.

"Yeah, sorry. These just arent really my thing." Lexa apologizes, voice somehow steady.

After some quick goodbyes, Clarke accompanies Lexa to the front. As Lexa gives her a polite goodbye, Clarke grabs her hand, forcing Lexa to turn around. They are once again face to face.

With a roll of eyes and a smile, Lexa closes the gap between them again.

"Dont be stranger." Clarke whispers as they pull away, a hand finding Lexa's core from behind and pressing on it, feeling the wetness she created gather between her legs.

Lexa moans softly before pulling away with a shy smile.

"I'll see you Clarke."

She still doesnt like frat parties. But oh doesnt she looove that frat girl.

[acourtofthought]

Since Sarah said the main plot of the spin off books is connected, how do you think it will play out over the next 2 books? I think Elucien’s book is next and while they free Vassa and the other girls Koschei is holding, they’ll free him, too. Then the next book will deal with a war against Koschei, like ACOWAR. And if Koschei dies in Elucien’s book, that leaves no villains for the next book since that whole plot is finished.

I do agree that Elucien's book will involve freeing Vassa and the others though I see some things somewhat different 😊 Since SJM had once mentioned that she knew who the first two books would be about but was unsure of the third, to me that means (if Elucien was meant to be the one to defeat Koschei, which I do think is the case since they need their own "villain" to take out and he's the one who harmed Lucien's friend), Koschei was never meant to last beyond book 2. We know Nesta was getting a book and she said she'd done research for Elain's book. So logically, they were books 1 and 2 of the spinoffs, leaving the third up in the air. If Elucien dealing with Koschei was meant to be the final (third) book, then why would she have commented that she was leaving the third open? The Bone Carver and the Weaver were supposed to be these scary intimidating figures but their deaths were fairly anticlimactic in the sense that it didn't take much to defeat them. Koschei is their brother. Yes, the Bone Carver was afraid of him but he was afraid of his sister (the Weaver) too and she was gone in an instant. And Lanthy's, a death god, was easily defeated by Nesta all on her own. So how big a bad is Koschie really? I think she always intended for the third and final spinoff to be about the next war and the human / fae armies on other sides of the continent are more than enough of a threat to Prythian than a single sorcerer. I think now that she's added the crossover into the mix, it's going to lead to an even bigger threat, with the possibilities of the bad guys from other worlds crossing over (especially beings like the Asteri, who we're told have been trying to find their way back to Prythian). So to me, book 2 would be about defeating Koschei. He's been the one sowing discord along with the human queens but even after his death, the war would still be a concern since there is now the quest for land to rule over and greedy people don't just forget that. I don't think book 2 was ever meant to be the actual war and if it was an Elucien book, that makes sense to me because Elucien aren't primarily warriors. They would heavily influence the turn of the political tides before the battle and I imagine their journey would take them away from the NC (so less Feysand and Nessian). But the politics need handled before the fighting. Plus, in my opinion Spring has now become the most important immediate plot point in the grand scheme of things. We've heard time and again how they need it up and running, that it's at risk for being taken over by enemies, but how Tamlin isn't getting better. And Spring is an Elucien issue to resolve. If a war were to take place in book 3, Gwynriel makes sense to me because their POV will feature a good bit of Nessian and Feysand as they belong to the same court and no war happens without major input from Feysand. And Gwyn and Az, as warriors, getting the POV during the actual battle seems logical enough to me. SJM has signed on for new books so maybe that has changed her plans but I do still think that Koschei (especially with the addition of the crossover), is a fluffy house cat at this point in terms of villains. With the introduction of time travel, there are way worse things in the multiverse that can crossover and I don't see Elucien running point on that.

[randomvarious]

Today's mix:

Movement - Perpetual Drum & Bass Motion by Bryan Gee / Ray Keith 2000 Drum n Bass / Jungle

Whooo boy, this one here was absolute fire, folks! Back in 2000, Movement, one of the best club nights in the world for both drum n bass and jungle, decided that they were going to expand beyond the confines of their regular Bar Rumba venue in London and take their show out on the road. And in order to do that, they set up their own small label so they could release mixes, and used this super dope double-disc debut in particular to promote their upcoming inaugural tour.

So what we have here with this pretty slept-on release that I can't even find decent album art for (😩) are a pair of sets from consummate dnb legends: one from Bryan Gee, who along with Jumpin Jack Frost founded the stalwart V Recordings, and the other from Ray Keith, an early pioneer in the jungle and dnb scene too. Together, the two of them provide us with a glimpse of what a night at Movement sounded like, with Ray Keith laying down a more nostalgia-tinged 'classics' set, and Bryan Gee mixing up a slate of 'currents.'

But what might be confusing here is that, if you didn't know any better, you might get these two discs confused, because while Bryan Gee's mix is chronologically the more contemporary one, it really doesn't sound like it! My man strings together a whole bunch of deliciously chaotic jungle jams from a then-present day, but being that jungle was a predecessor to drum n bass in the first place, his selections make his set feel a whole lot more vintage than it actually is. And what's more is that you might think that the 'classics' disc would be the better of the two as well—because, well, they're classics!—but the newer disc that sounds older is definitely the better one here, because while Ray Keith does a good job of keeping things steadily chugging with a slew of similarly constructed dnb selections until his final, far more intense leg, it's Bryan Gee who goes full-on bananas with his session by leaning far more heavily into that raw, atom-splitting, junglist bliss 🫨.

There are a total of 19 tracks in Bryan Gee's mix, and from its fifth one—Krust's "Kloakin Device"—to its fifteenth—The Pedge's "Whats Up Now Partner"—he manages to unleash an absolute, brain-battering barrage of mostly y2k jungle fury, sublimely putting on full display why Movement was one of the greatest club nights in all of dance music at the time. Ray Keith's contribution here is pretty damn good, but Bryan Gee is just on a whole different level with his disc; and part of the run that makes his set so incredible includes a banger from Ray Keith himself too! Gotta love that!

And for those who might be unfamiliar with the sonic differences between jungle and drum n bass—a topic that is perpetually up for debate in and of itself—here's a 90s jungle playlist post I did sometime ago where I tried to explain it as best I could 😅.

Listen to CD1 here. Listen to CD2 here.

Highlights:

CD1:

Breakbeat Era - "Ultra Obscene" Shy FX - "Bambaata" Reprazent - "Brown Paper Bag" Marcus Intalex & ST Files - "How You Make Me Feel" Reprazent - "Watching Windows (DJ Die Mix)" Swift - "The One" Bad Company - "The Nine" Souljah - "Fade 2 Black" John B - "Salsa Remix" SS - "Lighter VIP 2000 AD" Renegade - "Terrorist (Dom & Roland Remix)" Digital & Spirit - "Phantom Force"

CD2:

Dragon - "Noodles" Q Project - "Champion Sound (Total Science Mix)" DJ Krust - "Kloakin Devices" Ray Keith - "LFO" Twisted Anger - "Dread Come 2 Conquer" Digital - "Ease Off" Phantom Audio - "Remote Control" Digital - "One Ton" Wots My Code - "Dub Plate (Total Science Mix)" Ram Trilogy - "Titan" Bad Company & DJ Trace - "Tumpa (Flashback)" The Pedge - "What's Up Now Partner" Supply & Demand - "Love the One You're With" J Majik Feat Kathy Brown - "Love Is Not a Game (Original Mix)" Solid State - "Just a Vision (Marcus Intalex & ST Files Mix)" Peshay - "Nu Jack Swing"

[fillingthescrapbook]

What I like about it: The Amazon Prime series is a pretty solid adaptation of Naomi Alderman's book. As the series went on, I realize that I am also remembering the events of the book right before they play out--which, I have to say, added quite a bit of suspense during some episodes.

The casting directors, Carmen Cuba and Nina Gold, really nailed--well--the casting. Halle Bush was especially astounding as Allie Montgomery-Taylor. Although I think they dropped the Taylor for the series. Toni Collette as Mayor Margot Cleary was also exceptional, as were Zrinka Cvitešić as Tatiana and Ana Ularu as Zoia.

Not to say the others weren't as good. But, in my opinion, these four really went above and beyond expectations. Especially for the characters they portrayed.

I also love Daniela Vega as Sister Maria. I don't remember her being a transwoman in the book. If she was, then I apologize to Naomi Alderman. If she wasn't, then I salute the team behind the show. This was a great addition to the narrative. And, for me, it strengthens Allie's relationship with Sister Maria.

And speaking of things that were not in the book; I liked that they made Mayor Cleary more than just a politician. Like, sure, she had daughters in the book. But making her still married and giving us time with her family allowed us to understand her better.

They really gave Toni Collette some good material.

I also really like that the guy being manipulated by UrbanDox is no longer Jocelyn's boyfriend like it was in the book. (Jocelyn is Mayor Cleary's daughter. Played by Auli'i Cravalho.)

What I didn't like: Dr. Rob Lopez. Especially after the fifth episode. It's like a switch was flipped and John Leguizamo was playing a different character from the one he was portraying in the first four episodes. And the thing is, you can see John Leguizamo struggling to understand why his character is suddenly so different from the one he was playing before.

They do bring him back to who he was by the finale. But, by then, his character has been assassinated.

I have issues with the pacing. Especially with the second, fourth, and fifth episode. It's like we're running through plot points that need to happen, but the timeline doesn't make sense. None of the storylines were connecting with each other. I had to take breaks from the show after those three episodes to reassess where the characters were in their lives, why they were acting the way they were acting--

I had to do a lot of connecting the dots and sweeping-under-the-rug just so I could continue with the show.

And now we come to my biggest gripe: the finale.

I hate the way they finale ended.

Specifically: I hate how they ended it for Mayor Cleary.

Allie and Roxy (Ria Zmitrowicz) got pretty clean arcs, I feel like. Tatiana and Zoia would've had clean arcs too, had Tunde (Toheeb Jimoh) not ended his storyline with theirs. And then there's Mayor Cleary.

I know what happens in the book. They could've picked a better stopping point for her since they were already changing stuff up for the show. Instead we get... what the show gave us.

It's a powerful scene, yes. It would have been more powerful had it happened at the end of episode eight. They could've moved some of her plot threads up. There was one episode where we didn't see her at all but the next time she showed up, it didn't feel like any time has passed since her last appearance. And so we end her story with a scene where a major event happens, and it's left hanging.

And not in a cliffhanger kind of way.

Her story is like someone decided to bake a cake. They prepared the ingredients, pre-heated the oven, mixed the ingredients, poured the mix into a cake pan...and just chose never to put the pan inside the oven.

It is so frustrating.

And it messes up an otherwise great finale.

It messes up an otherwise amazing season.

[patalipat-blog]

Indian spice whiff

Hi Tumblr, it's been a looooooooong while. Been meaning to go back to writing since a few weeks ago. I've had several epiphanies that I'd like to talk about, but the momentum always gets swamped by other "more important" tasks (i.e. sleeping, loljk). Anyway, today is Sunday. I was supposed to start my day early by attending the Holy Mass but my body seemed to be needing so much rest. I guess my body's finally savoring that one day of lack of caffeine supply. I then just decided to have breakfast and stroll by the nearby Sunday market to look for coffee. I forgot to take pictures, though. But I found them on Facebook:

(Photo courtesy of Elbi Community Market FB Page)

Yep, I'm in Elbi right now. Trying my luck and doing something really big for myself, finally for myself after giving much of my past few years to others. But perhaps that merits another post.

Going back, it didn't take long until I found a stall selling Kapeng Barako. And omfg the camera caught me pala! 🤣

(Photo courtesy of Elbi Community Market FB Page)

Halata naman yung nipis ko diba? Hindi maipagkakaila lolllll

The coffee tastes good. The small-sized cup costs P 35.00. Not bad. I really miss the times, though, back in Goa where we would brew our own coffee. Here, it took a while before I found a coffee shop that sells undiluted brewed coffee at a reasonable cost.

As I mixed creamer and sugar on my coffee (right photo), my nostrils caught a whiff of some Indian spices. My mind immediately floated and travelled back to the time when Bruce and I travelled to Nepal for a research competition in November 2017. It was there that I first tasted authentic Indian cuisine. But my senses caught up with my daydreaming; The cold weather, the hour of the day, the half-awake feeling, and the environment itself transported me forward to our time in Malaysia in October 2023. I attended a research conference with Kyna, Rem, Andrea, and Aaron. We were accompanied by Andrea's mother, Ma'am Miriam, and Andrea's cousin, Ma'am Nicole.

I just suddenly remembered that morning of our conference when we haven't eaten yet but the program was already starting.

(Photo courtesy of Ma'am Miriam)

Fortunately, there was a Sunday Market just beside the conference hall. And so while they were participating in the Opening Program, I strolled around and bought food for them.

(Photos courtesy of Ma'am Miriam and me)

As always, I failed to take many photos haha. Buuuut the food options were really really good. And the smell, of course. The rich aroma of Indian spices pervaded the Sunday morning air. The expo included other cuisines, but my eyes were of course trained on the ones that were new to me.

The stall on the left photo served rice cakes wrapped in banana leaves. They seemed like our local suman or binanban in Lagonoy, but they tasted way creamier and more savory. The kids also liked them a lot, naubusan nga agad ako haha.

The stall on the right photo also had these rolled rice with fish at the center and wrapped with banana leaves. I think they're called "Pulut bakar," not really sure. Judging from the appearance, I thought they were similar to our tupig in Pangasinan or Ilocos Area, but I was so wrong haha. It was really more of a meal rather than a snack, probably because of the fish inside.

After feeding the kids, I was still so hungry so I went out and bought Nasi lemak with free brewed coffee. It really feels different (in a good way) eating authentic food from foreign cuisines. I definitely find it weird why they always include whole nuts and anchovies in their rice meal, but I guess it adds to the overall texture of the food.

(Photos courtesy of Ma'am Miriam)

But beyond the food items, I kinda miss the company. I miss the times spent with the group. The four kids were pasaway as always, they were makukulit and matagal kumilos (especially the girls)! But they were all persistent, and they're all thoughtful and caring.

We could have definitely done better, but I admit I had lapses in managing my schedule hence I wasn't able to always monitor them during their lab works. But they still did well for me. Their presentation was also highly commended. It's just that it wasn't a competition, but just a closing program of the year-long research internship that we participated in (Tsunagu Research Project). What was off for us, though, was that the said closing presentation was held in the same venue with the Science Castle Asia Competition. The Tsunagu presentation was therefore thrown on the sidelines, we were not given a really suitable venue. But these kids were indeed troopers, we still pushed through and again, their presentation was highly commended by the panelists and fellow participants.

The Tsunagu final presentation was also an opportunity to meet lots of like-minded people. The several days weren't really enough to strike in-depth conversations, especially since we were all so busy tending to our wards. But hopefully, in the future, we get to meet again and collaborate. It was just so sad, though, that there was no Tsunagu Research Project this year. But it's still fine because if there was, I wouldn't be able to participate anyway (I'm on study leave right now).

Ma'am Miriam and Ma'am Nicole were also so caring, helpful. During our practice nights, when we would already forget to go out and eat, they'd order food for us. Oh how I miss the packed fruits from the grocery store within our hotel building. The grapes, strawberries, the kiwi, all of them were so fresh and sweet. Throughout our stay, they'd suddenly knock on our doors asking if we ever need anything. Of course I feel so shy knowing that as the teacher chaperone, I should be taking care of much of our needs. But they were just so supportive of our endeavors. They were also soooooo generous. My goodness, they almost wanted to buy everything for us! I was surprised that they bought shoes for each of us. They even transferred us to Shangri La on our last night, and took us on a trip around the city.

I especially would like to appreciate Ma'am Miriam. Throughout the trip, we had several chikahans that opened my mind so much into how good and humble she is as a person. No wonder, Andrea is an intelligent, compassionate, and humble young lady. Ma'am Miriam is a lawyer. I'm not so certain but as far as I've read, she has served as Corporate Lawyer, Provincial Prosecutor, Estate Lawyer, and Municipal Legal Officer. Basta andami na hehe. Her husband naman is in the Energy Sector. And they also have lots of businesses, magugulat ka na lang. Kasi you wouldn't really notice it from them. They're so humble, so down to earth. Walang kaere ere sa katawan and they always mean well.

Throughout our trip, Ma'am Miriam would inadvertently share about her management style at work, about her experiences dealing with other people, about her parenting style. She's tough, practical, intelligent, and humble. Sobrang kengkoy din ni Ma'am to the point na Andrea would always cringe haha. Mas game pa si Ma'am Miriam about a lot of things. Also, kahit they are wealthy, they wouldn't really brag about it nor look down on other people. They're also so practical and frugal. They like surprises, or simple rewards, pero hindi sila into unnecessary splurging. Ma'am Miriam is also very supportive of the activities of her children, nakakatuwa. Talagang push lang siya nang push, go lang lagi basta gusto ng mga bata at worth it for them.

As we waited for our flight back to the Philippines, kinausap ako ni Ma'am. Bakit daw ba hindi ko itry mag-apply ng scholarships abroad, sayang daw kasi. I told her, it's actually part of my plans. I really wanted to study and perhaps go out of the country, kaso I am limited by my financial and family concerns. In terms of scholarship, kahit paano feeling ko qualified naman ako, but I couldn't simply leave my family behind. Also, I couldn't simply leave my work behind, specifically my Research students. Feel ko kasi, walang ibang eeffort na gawin para sa kanila yung mga ginagawa ko for them. I'm not bragging, it's just that I pull so many strings for them because I'm passionate about helping them learn. Kaso what I've been doing so far are way too taxing for other teachers to do.

Pero ayun, Ma'am Miriam kept on encouraging me, saying na that's really the way it is. If you're concerned about family or about work, they're constantly in your life. They're not gonna go away or stop. You need to take the proactive step to really study if that's what you dream of. Lalo at tumatakbo ang oras, dumadagdag ang edad. Sayang daw ng potential ko.

Idk. I really didn't have a concrete answer then. Fast forward now, after many nights of contemplation, after many mountains of applications, paperworks, permits, financial struggles and everything, I'm here now. Yung mga what ifs ko about family and work, definitely mahirap pa rin ideal with. Pero I just keep pushing and pushing. Right now, finally, nagrant yung study leave ko. Almost a month na rin ako dito sa UPLB, taking my MS.

I can say na apart from my personal passion, apart from the needs of my students, Ma'am Miriam was really instrumental in my coming up with the decision to already apply for Graduate Studies regardless of the uncertainties. Talagang sige na, push na. Kahit nakakawindang, go na. And perhaps in the future also, I could encourage another unsure soul to pursue their dreams.

I wanted to message Ma'am Miriam and thank her at least, for making an impact in me. But perhaps kapag nakagraduate na lang ako haha. Parang nakakahiya naman to declare now tas mafind out ni Ma'am later on na nadelay ako etc. etc. But ayun, I really thank Ma'am for giving me the drive to do this for myself.

Ay napahaba na itong blog haha! Ang dami ko pang backlogs na gagawin! Dahil lang sa amoy ng Indian spices, naglakbay na ang aking isipan at kung saan-saan na napunta. I wouldn't read back before posting this blog. I want it to be as it is. Alam ko, sobrang random, sobrang patalon-talon ng thoughts, sobrang gulo nito. Maybe because that's really how my mind is doing right now. Kaya rin gusto kong magsulat nang magsulat nang magsulat uli, para matrain uli ang self ko na sumulat quickly and logically. It's been years kasi since I actively wrote for the sake of writing. For the past years, iba rin naman ang mga isinusulat ko sa work.

Ayun muna for now. Baboo!

[bigbadripley]

Chapter 17 - Rain

Marc Spector&Co. x Ex!F!OC, F!OC x Modern!Miguel O'Hara

Summary: Everything changed after Marc and Simone moved to New York. Being in a relationship with the Fist of Khonshu proved to be difficult enough without the added obstacles of normal relationships being forced into the mix. With seemingly irreconcilable differences overhead, fate’s plans continue to drive the pair back into each other’s lives, testing their patience, self-control, and new relationships. Is it truly written in the stars, or is it old habits taking over?

18+!! | Third-person omniscient | Dark elements | AU/AT |   Warnings: Language, OC with religious trauma, childhood trauma, sexual trauma. Effects of trauma in adulthood. Angst, reference smut, reference to non-dubious consent, mention of death, reference to violence, use of tobacco.

Words:6.5K

A/N: I update warnings with each chapter. Only proceed if you can handle the themes included in the warnings.

Minors DNI, DL;DR, if I miss a warning, please let me know.

Chapter List and AO3 saw it first!

" And I don't wanna get in your way But I finally think I can say That the vicious cycle was over The moment you smiled at me " -"Rain" by Sleep Token

The weeks that passed were a blur and hard to count, knowing what had happened to Simone and how Marc tried to justify it. There was no contact and Simone felt it was for the best, though it probably didn't matter much. They were bound in heart, mind, and soul, as she was told. 

In an interesting turn of events, Jennifer and Matt were arriving at the Mission as she was leaving. They expressed concern with the cryptic phone call and subsequent sending to voicemail after the fact. The obvious question came up-

"Did you sleep with him?"

Simone was happy to give them the answer they hoped to hear, but she felt she didn't have it in her to gossip about that right then. They asked what happened, and why she stopped by in the first place, but she was already beyond tired of talking about the mark. Still, she knew she owed Miguel an explanation and this would have to suffice, as it was the only answer she got out of the whole meeting. 

At first, when she called Miggy, she didn't expect him to pick up. Once he did, her stomach did cartwheels, and she nearly forgot what she called for upon hearing his voice simply say-

"Hey."

From there, it was a matter of meeting up. Simone didn't think Matt's place was a good idea, so she stopped by Miguel's apartment. Everything was the same except for a TV now placed on the front room floor, propped up against the wall with the cord shoddily strung to the nearest outlet. She wanted to make a joke about how he must be spending more time at home but decided against it.

Even given the circumstances, Miguel was still happy to see her. He knew she wouldn't have come around if she didn't have good news regarding her feelings for him. The warm smile he gave her slowly faded as she explained everything she knew about the situation she was in. Moon gods, celestial attachments, symbols, sneaky ex-boyfriend, everything.

"The situation's changed a bit, but I won't lie to you: nothing happened when I went to see him. The thought crossed my mind, and I hated it, and there was a moment when he got close to me, but I don't entirely know what's real because..."

"Because of some  divine bind ." Miguel finished her sentence when she trailed off, at a loss for  what  exactly to call it. Simone met this with a soft nod, knowing it all sounded absurd, and if she hadn't lived with absurd for so long, she would agree. To her awe, Miggy believed it all. "I'm not gonna say I understand it, but crazier things have happened."

Simone's eyes grew wide, suddenly not knowing what turn this conversation would take. By all rights, he should have said-

"Alright, at least we know now, but I'm calling it a wrap here. Have a nice life."

"I won't lie to you, either. I haven't stopped thinking about you." He admitted. Simone's heart began doing flips, but she waited for him to finish as he looked down at his sneakers. "I would prefer not to get hurt." He said with a slight, airy chuckle.

Miggy knew it was crazy to even consider, and though the pain of the morning they last saw each other lingered, he felt bewitched upon seeing her again. Simone wanted to speak but felt compelled to wait for him to finish so as to not sway him. "So, how about we take this  much  slower than before, test the waters, and see if we can render better results?" He suggested.

Are you nuts?  Simone thought, holding herself back from asking the question aloud. Every reasonable fiber in her told her to close the book on this and leave, spare him any future heartbreak while all the other bits just wanted her to be pulled into his chest like before, drinking in his scent, wanting it to work out. 

"I've never been good at slow," She spoke absently, eyes drifting to the slightly ajar door to his bedroom, the last place they saw each other before this. She knew Miggy would be just around the corner from disappointment at any given time, especially now that she  knew  she couldn't be free of her own thoughts, maybe even actions. 

Miguel expected rejection after that sentence and stood looking at her pondering what to say within the everlasting silence that followed. Once her internal battle settled, she met him with a smile that he imagined would have killed thousands by now, if it could. 

"I'd like to give it a try." 

Simone hoped that would be the proper beginning to her officially moving forward, but of course, this is the life of Dr. Simone A. Fredrick. The revolving door of tragedy never ceased. 

She wasn't surprised to see Jake posted up outside of her office building just a matter of  weeks  later. There wasn't a moment that day when she thought about the troublesome trio, so he wasn't drawn to her by cosmic design. There was something else that brought him here. Regardless, she wasn't concerned in the least.

" Jake ." She said with a hint of disdain. The cabby beamed at her,

"You can't  seriously  be mad at me too!"

A disbelieving chuckle sounded from her plump lips as she reached into her bag and started rifling around, 

"I  absolutely  can. Don't pretend you didn't know about that shit and didn't fucking tell me. The other two I can understand being too scared to say something to me but  you ?" 

She stopped on the rhetorical question when she realized she was digging around for a pack of cigarettes that hadn't been there in ages. An impulse that seemed so long gone, back now out of the blue. She let the bag drop back down to her side as she continued. "I expect  you  to be unapologetically honest with me, even if I don't like it."

"Bite my head off all you want, Chi-town, I still thought it was a good idea to draw that moon on your forehead." Jake replied in his usual 'devil-may-care' demeanor, which bought an eye-roll from the woman he stood before.

"That's fuckin'  fantastic  of you! Seek help." 

Jake liked the obvious sarcasm in her voice but even more so loved the accent that shone through with her attitude. It was one of the many things he adored about her—she was foxy when she was like this. It made him want to push her a bit further, but he was here on business, not pleasure. 

"I didn't come find you to talk about this. Let's get outta here, so we can chat." He said, gesturing toward the yellow taxi he leaned against. As Simone crossed her arms and her eyes grew darker, he realized he was just about to get what he wanted without really trying. 

"You're outta your goddamn mind if you think I'm going anywhere with you! You've proven I can't trust you for shit! I can't just go hopping into cabs with you anymore!" She barked. A silent beat passed as she waited with a clenched jaw for a response, but Jake stood staring at her with his hands in his pockets, completely unbothered. 

It dawned on Simone that she was waiting for him to plead or try to convince her, but this wasn't Marc or Stevie she was speaking to. Jake wasn't about to  beg  her to give him the time of day. In his mind, he had already gotten it the second she stopped for him.

"Ya done?" He asked after they quietly stared each other down. Simone's heart started to thump harshly in her chest at this response and her face felt hot. She was pissed already, but the uncaring reply made her blood feel like ignited kerosene. She knew she was physically showing signs of bitterness, but more pathetically, she was at a loss for words and stood looking like a bumbling idiot. 

What Simone  wanted  to say was that she  wasn't  done, or better yet, that she  was  done before taking off down the sidewalk and not looking back. Instead, her mouth stayed slightly agape, and Jake took that as answer enough and opened the passenger side door. "Get in the fuckin' car, doll." 

With balled fists, she did so in a huff and with a silent vow to never speak of how easily she folded to anyone. 

God, I'm never gonna live this one down.

The ride was silent for the first few minutes. Jake's eyes drifted over and studied her face often, trying to catch her looking over at him. Simone could see this in the corner of her eye and, in turn, kept her eyes glued to the windshield. 

"Eyes on the road, Bronx." She called him out, refusing to let her poker face falter as she lightly tugged the bottom hem of her skirt. It suddenly felt far too short. Jake took note of it all before readjusting his right hand on the wheel and relaxing the left.

Simone always held a strange fascination with watching Jake drive. Even on the hectic streets of New York, he was in total control. As memory served, he had that in check no matter how distracting she was to him while he drove. 

This made her think of how she used to toy with him; speckling kisses all over the right side of his face and neck or moving his free hand, normally the right, higher and higher on her thigh. Sometimes, when she felt particularly adventurous, she would take it a step further and see how he faired on the roads with her lips wrapped around his dick.

Get your head out of the gutter, Fredrick.  She told herself as she made an effort to hide the blush rising to her cheeks by shifting her stare to the window next to her. She cleared thick saliva from her throat before she asked the golden question of the evening. "So, where're we going?" 

"Just drivin'." Jake answered with what she assumed was a shrug as she could hear his coat rub the fabric of his seat. 

Just driving , because all good ideas with Jake Lockley begin with  just driving .  She thought, feeling her stomach leap into her throat like a teen about to go on their first date. It wasn't an unfamiliar feeling these days, but experiencing it with  this  individual and the others swimming around in his brain juice, probably watching and waiting, was a different animal entirely. 

"In my experience, with  you , that lands me in an empty parking lot of an abandoned building or a random pull-off from the highway. Or a Macy's." 

Jake remembered the late-night encounter at Macy's fondly. They had just left a diner after quenching their hankering for breakfast in the evening, then he just happened to look over as she hit him with  the eyes  and the closest place to seclusion was as far away from the rest of the cars as he could park. 

Hell of a time.  He thought, suddenly feeling the need to readjust his length, and reconsidered as he found that the look on her face was very different from then. Still, the temptation to get under her skin was immense.

"I  do  know a spot, if you're interested." He suggested, letting her know that he knew she was thinking about it. Air erupted loudly from her nostrils as an expression of false disgust spread on her face.

"In your dreams." 

The last thing I need is any Jake Lockley in my diet these days.

"In yours, too, apparently." He retorted. Of course, he had been watching and listening to everything that went down with Spector about a month prior. Simone had walked right into that one. She wished she hadn't.

"Fuck off." She growled, trying her best to not sound too defensive, and feeling like she failed miserably. A jovial chuckle burst from Jake's chest at this. It might not have been the kind of banter he was used to with her, but it still brought a bit of comfort. It was good to have her close again, especially now.

"Well, we're goin' there anyway, but not for the reason ya think, so don't get a big head." He explained.

"Right,  I'm  the one with the best head here." 

The rest of the drive was hushed and awkward as Simone pushed away thoughts of similar situations of yesteryear. She did everything she could to seem unfazed, unwilling to let him know just how deeply affected she was by his very  presence  and the prospect of being secluded with him again.

Jake always knew how to read Simone. He knew there was nothing she could hide from him, not truly. Even if she didn't realize it, he would bet everything that he knew exactly what was going through her head, and he would be one hundred percent correct every time. That being said, he also knew not to push it if he didn't want their time together cut short.

The cab pulled into an empty brick warehouse with not another soul in sight. It seemed much cloudier in this area than where they previously traveled to get there. The moody gloom did little to ease Simone's nerves as her throat dried up, and her heart pounded so harshly that she swore it echoed in the vehicle. She hoped beyond hope that whatever Jake had to share with her, he would just make it quick, so she could be done with this as soon as possible.

The sound of the rough handling of the gear shift pulled Simone's attention from the window she aimlessly gazed through. Her eyes followed his right hand as it went from the shift lever to his newsboy cap as he pulled it from his messy hair. She pictured him flicking it away like it meant nothing before she watched him grip the hat between his hands, fists balled with a single, shakey deep breath. This concerned her more.

"What's going on, Jake?" She asked, trying her best to take an uncaring tone and just barely passing. She prepared for a bullshit speech about missing her and feeling he was the only one who wasn't being a chicken about it. He turned his body to face her, and as his eyes misted over and his throat cleared, she gathered that it was more serious.

"Pops died," Jake said in a low tone followed by another breath that she knew only as the kind that was intended to still someone from bursting into a fit of tears. As the face of Mr. Spector formed in her mind, she suddenly wished she had been right about her previous hunch.  Anything  was better than this.

"Holy shit." She spoke with disbelief. The last time she saw Mr. Spector, he seemed completely healthy and by all means had plenty of life left in him. It had been years since she had spoken to him and her heart swelled knowing this. Even worse, it broke knowing he was likely alone when he passed.

"Yeah-" Jake began but stopped when he heard his voice trying to crack. He cleared it again and continued. "Marc can't bring 'imself to tell ya. Knows ya wouldn't let him even if he tried, so I figured I had the best chance at keepin' it together,"

"Why?" Simone asked, unable to peel her eyes from his stoic face this time.

"Well, it couldn't'a been Grant to tell ya. He woulda messed it up in just the amount of time it took me to getcha in the car." Jake explained, not understanding her question. Simone frowned, ashamed at how childish the query sounded upon realizing she used the wrong word.

"I mean, how did he die? Sorry." She clarified, apologizing for the misunderstanding. Jake couldn't think of a thing she had to be sorry about at that moment but brushed it off.

"Aneurysm. 'Said it happened quick." He told. Simone could only mouth the word  'wow' , the sound barely leaving her throat at an octave just below a whisper. "But, uh, from what we've been able to gather, we'll be the only ones sittin', and a week alone in that house might just drive Marc coco puffs." He spoke further, then released an airy chuckle. " More  coco puffs, I should say."

Simone knew how to take a hint, especially when it wasn't so subtle. She knew what was being requested of her.

"You're asking me to spend a week in Chicago with Marc." She stated the obvious, followed by a heavy sigh that expressed her inner turmoil. She wasn't sure if she was ready to face this kind of commitment, but as it stood, she would never let anyone she cared for do something like this by themselves. 

"I know it don't sound great, but we agreed that even if you're fuckin' fightin' the whole time, it's better than havin' to do this alone." Jake attempted to justify before making a face, realizing how dumb it sounded aloud. 

Though it did sound awful, Simone felt herself sinking into the passenger seat of the cab, wishing she could just seep through the cracks and disappear entirely. The way she saw it, it was the only reasonable way out of this conversation. Unfortunately, she knew she couldn't escape the situation as her hands began to tremble.

"I'm so screwed." She muttered more to herself than to Jake. Her eyes squeezed shut, and she balled her fists together to stop the involuntary quivering. The surrounding air suddenly felt too thick.

"So you're comin'?" Jake asked, not surprised by the response itself, but the obvious meaning behind it. He was prepared to be turned down, but seeing how Simone was reacting to the simple guilt of it all, he would have  preferred  rejection. He tried to speak and tell her not to worry about it, but the words were stuck in his throat.

"I'd go even if you guys didn't," Simone explained, making sure to highlight that there was a possibility that they wouldn't show, like at Marc's mother's Shiva. Mr. Spector was a bit of a surrogate father after Simone's was locked up, but she would be lying to herself if she said she wasn't going for Marc's sake more than his father's.

Jake didn't realize that it was Marc holding his tongue, spending every bit of energy he had to keep his alter from saying what he wanted to say. To Jake, it seemed like nothing more than hesitation, even if he was never one to filter himself.

After a beat of quiet, Simone spoke again. "When do you head out?"

"Tonight, actually. Service is first thing in the mornin'. I know it's short notice, bu-"

"Then I'll go in the morning." Simone quickly cut Jake short, knowing he'd offer to see if she could fly in their company. It felt like the one decision she could truly make for herself. "Who do you have watching the mission?" She asked out of curiosity, and to veer Jake from the previous topic.

"Reese and Hunter's Moon." He said. Simone was familiar with the former, but the second name was lost on her. Before she could ask, Jake started again. " Other  fist of Khonshu. Long story." 

"I'll take your word for it." She replied, pretending to be uninterested. 

I gotta pack a bag for at least 4 days. I can do laundry while I'm there.  She thought to herself before remembering that she was in the middle of moving her belongings out of Matt's apartment. "I'll have to see if Jen or Miguel will be able to finish moving my stuff." 

"You got a new place already?" Jake asked with a cocked head. "Where at?" 

"None of your business, Lockley." 

"I  meant  so I could take you there when we're done here." 

Yeah, right. More like, so you can show up at inopportune times like you famously do.  She thought with a snicker to herself, thinking of the date with Miguel he so rudely interrupted what felt like ages ago. As the memory manifested in her mind, the harsh reality of having to explain this all to the man she recently patched things up with dispelled it.

" Shit , how am I supposed to explain this to Miggy?" She asked the open air, letting her head fall back before realizing she was doing that thing she did and wished she didn't: working things out aloud, welcoming Jake's input.

"You two work things out?" Jake questioned as he positioned his cap back on his head. Simone sat back up at this, surprised by the maturity of the question after expecting Jake to make a snide remark about just leaving Miggy in the dust.

"We're working on it." She said hesitantly, watching Jake buckle his seatbelt and turn the key in the ignition. Though his straight face didn't falter, she knew he wasn't happy about the news. "He won't be comfortable with me going." 

As Jake wrapped his arm around the passenger seat and shifted his body and head to look through the rear window while backing the cab up and out of the spot he parked in, he reminded himself that he didn't bring this woman here to convince her of anything and wouldn't be doing so. He wanted her for moral support, not a tryst. 

"I'm sure he'll hate it." He said carelessly, putting the car in drive and taking off out of the lot. It was a classic Lockley response, but Simone found herself still reading into it a bit more than she normally would. 

"He'll either fully end things or he'll get over it. Either way, I'm still going." She responded, wondering to herself if she truly meant it. 

Of course, I do. It's not his business where I go.

"Atta girl, that shmuck don't own you," Jake responded with a hint of pride in his voice. "So, where'm I takin' ya?"

"Drop me off over at Saul's, and I'll walk from there."

Miguel was indeed  not  delighted with the news. Needless to say, he insisted he would take time off work and go with her, but Simone made it clear that it wasn't for a good time, and she most certainly didn't take pleasure in it. As much as she would have loved to have Miggy there, inviting someone—especially a stranger to Mr. Spector—to something like this was not her place.

"In many ways, he was there when my parents weren't," Simone explained as she stared into the deep red eyes of her companion. She knew she needed to hold strong and not let the glimmer of betrayal behind his irises push her in the opposite direction. Simone needed to do this. 

The last thing Miguel wanted was  this .  This , of all things?  Now , of all times? They had just reconnected and ever since, he had felt rejuvenated and elated with the possibilities. He had grown used to seeing her just about every day and knowing she would be just a phone call away. 

"It's just weird after everything that happened." He spoke, diverting his gaze now and turning it to her hands. They were poised in her lap, short nails picking away at the skin and scabs surrounding them until they inevitably bled. It was a subconscious tick he had observed her doing while anxious. In a fucked up sense, it showed him she cared about his reaction. 

A breathy sigh escaped his nostrils as he scooted the red lawn chair up closer to where Simone sat, their knees nearly touching as he took her hands into his to halt the picking. She was familiar with the action at this point, and it never ceased to make her heart throb, among  other  things. 

It was one of the few means of physical contact they engaged in these days. Hand holding, hugging, kissing, heavy petting, and not much else. They hadn't slept together since the dream incident, but not for a lack of wanting from either party. Slow was how they decided to take it, no matter how painful. There was a moment when they came close to breaking the mutual celibacy just a few days prior. Simone had made Miguel sit through a couple of Star Wars movies with her, but they ended up making out like high schoolers in a movie theater about halfway through Attack of the Clones. She allowed him to peel her shirt off but asked the million-dollar question with bated breath.

"Are we doing this?"

Though Miggy's body felt like it was on fire and nearly made him proceed, something in her eyes was daring him to wait. The feeling of holding off, pushing this further, and starving the yearning for just a bit longer. It was what Simone wanted. She wanted to keep this up until there was a mutual understanding that he would take what he wanted when he couldn't take it anymore.

As Miguel studied her face after coming back from the memory, though, he couldn't help but feel the nagging hint of regret that came with holding back. He feared Simone may seek to have her needs met in Chicago. The rational part of him knew that if sex would be the thing to make or break this, so be it. He had lived without her before.

The truth was, Miguel had wised up to the most painful fact in all of this: he was in love with Simone. He wasn't ready to say it to her directly, as his understanding of the word  slow  didn't call for such seriousness. It didn't negate the unrelenting pain he felt at the thought of her changing her mind. It hurt even now, and it hadn't even happened yet.

It was clear to Miggy that Simone's mind was made up about going and that his opinion held no weight on this matter. Though she would never admit it, he could sway her much easier than he knew. In reality, the shame of skipping out on this event would follow her like a bad smell. 

"I may not like it, but I get it. I trust you." Miggy spoke, almost choking on the last part knowing it was nearly a full, bald-faced lie. Simone even knew that much but appreciated the effort and thanked him for his support while he silently pleaded to her to prove him wrong.

It was a terrible day for rain in the windy city and the breeze was cold enough to cut through each layer you wore like a hot knife through butter. Marc managed to make it to his father's burial on time, but Moni didn't arrive in Chicago until almost an hour later. 

The one thing Marc didn't expect was for everyone to be so accepting of not only his return after so long but also his willingness to sit Shiva for his father. He was sure there would be questions, but given that he was the only close, living relative, everyone else likely felt it necessary to keep quiet. 

The guests suspected Moni's appearance before Marc had a chance to say anything due to her presence at his mother's Shiva. After he confirmed that she was on her way, the speculation of their relationship took off, and it was shockingly easy to avoid the questions. After all, the gossip was the same as always.

To Simone's surprise, there wasn't a single face at the Spector home that she didn't recognize right away. Everyone who had shown was much older than she remembered them and just as open to giving her a welcoming hug as they were back in the day. It wasn't just the Jewish community, but many others of different backgrounds coming together.

Once she got through a gaggle of people, one by one telling her how long it's been since they'd seen her and asking how she'd been, she made her way to the modest living room where Marc sat silently on the sofa, seemingly awaiting her appearance. She could tell by how he stood once they saw each other that he was glad she finally showed.

"Hey, sorry I'm late. Not easy getting ready in an airport bathroom." Moni apologized as she met Marc with a loose, one-armed hug, the other arm securing a duffle bag close to her body.

"Don't mention it, you look great," Marc replied before absentmindedly brushing his lips lightly against her cheek in greeting. He wasn't lying, either, as it was clear she did her best to look presentable despite just getting off a flight. She had straightened her hair, put on a nice black button-up shirt, and even almost successfully covered the scars on her face and neck with makeup. 

Given the situation, Simone let the kiss on the cheek slide and shrugged off the comment. It only took one passing glance at his face to clock that Marc was uncomfortable and trying his best not to cry. 

She felt terrible about not making it to the final half of the actual burial due to the amount of time she spent at Chicago O'Hare obsessively packing color corrector and foundation onto her face to avoid stares and questions from those in attendance. 

What she didn't bank on was that there would still be stares and questions, but they remained among themselves and were regarding the nature of her relationship with Marc.

Together after all this time?

Didn't she say she hadn't heard from him when we saw her last at Wendy's Shiva?

Did she convert?

Why didn't they arrive together?

It became clear that no matter which end of the house Simone migrated to avoid awkwardly sticking to Marc's side, she ended up right back where she started and still amid gossip galore. 

She looks too skinny. Must be dieting.

He looks so tired. Must be taking it pretty hard.

What is she? 36? No kids?

Should we ask if she's seen Estie lately?

Once Simone finally had enough of listening to people make presumptions, she snuck out the back door and lit a cigarette from the fresh pack she nabbed once she got off the plane in a fleeting moment of familiar anxiety that came with being back here. 

As she took a long, desperate drag from the stogie, the door she came out of opened lightly, and out stepped the man that she could tell was being controlled by Jake from the way he strode. He first looked to his left, then his right, to find her leaning against the wall with the butt between her lips. She gave him a gesture that said  'Welp, you caught me.'  as she expelled a stream of smoke.

"Thought you quit those things." He stated as he held out his right hand. Simone rolled her eyes before passing the cigarette to him, feeling finished with it already.

"I'm in Chicago."

"Good an excuse as any, I 'spose," Jake said as he took a hit from it with a chuckle. Simone studied him as he rolled up the sleeves of his button-up dress shirt, having shed the blazer he wore at some point between the last time she saw him and now. He held the cotton filter between his teeth as he did so and the action alone made her crave another drag, but she steadied herself and shook the desire away. "It's obvious you're avoidin' him." He spoke again, as clearly as he could. She let out a single chuckle,

"Did he send  you  out to talk about it?"

"He got a li'l overwhelmed. Mrs. Jacobs, in there, brought up that it was good to see you two still had each other. He didn't know what to say."

Simone watched quietly as Jake took one more puff and passed the smoke back to her. She took it and stared at the red ember that burned in what would be the middle of the stick.

I know, we need each other now more than ever.  She thought to herself before bringing her eyes up to the other set of brown irises that stood a couple feet away.

"Marc?" Simone spoke up. A beat of silence broken only by the breeze sat between them for a moment, prompting her to repeat the name. The man's trance was broken instantly at the second mention. 

"Yeah." He finally said in the form of an answer. He was back, his posture and eyes shifting along with the alter's exit. A much sadder individual stood before her now. She tore the butt away from the burning end of the cigarette and tucked it into the pocket of her slacks before tossing the other part into the wet, dewy grass.

"Let's just go in, put up a united front, no need to confirm or deny anything. I'll stick with you—we'll smile and nod—get through this until the very last person leaves. Deal?"

Marc felt his shoulders relax as Moni set the plan in place. He knew it would make this whole thing so much easier, and if something were to make him feel uneasy, they could shift the topic. 

"Deal." He voiced his understanding before opening the back door and gesturing his other hand toward the entrance, "After you."

As the Shiva calls drew to a close, it became easier to settle into their roles. Simone stayed on Marc's arm, squeezing it gently for reassurance where it seemed needed. Subjects shifted from questions and assumptions to stories of old, no longer about the pair but about Mr. Spector and how he touched the community. His last few years on our Earth were spent doing volunteer work. This brought Marc comfort.

Just as they agreed, they kept up appearances until the very last person—Mr. Wilson—left. After that, it was back to quietly considering how to continue to tolerate each other, only this time, they had to keep the whole  week  in mind. 

We're stuck together. It's either talk or suffer in silence.  Simone thought as her eyes drifted to the duffle she had carried in and dropped onto the floor next to the loveseat where Marc sat. 

"I, uh, never took my stuff upstairs." She spoke followed by a nervous laugh. The bag then caught Marc's eye, and he began to stand, 

"Oh. I got it," 

"Don't worry about it." She said quickly. "I'll keep it there and just take the couch."

"Don't be ridiculous. Take my parents' room." 

"Are you sure?" Simone asked. There was nothing she hated more than putting someone on the couch in their own home, even if they didn't live there anymore. Marc looked particularly tired around the eyes and would likely benefit from a nice bed to sleep in, but still protested, 

"Trust me, I can handle the couch." 

It's far cozier than the sarcophagus but would feel like rocks to Moni.  He thought.  Not that I'll be getting much sleep, anyway.

Even though she hated it, Simone knew better than to argue over this matter and gave in with a nod. As she began gathering herself to her feet, she spotted a framed photo on the entertainment center across from them. 

In the picture stood twelve-year-old Moni and thirteen-year-old Marc on an old dock with a large body of water behind them. Judging by their wearing bucket hats and shorts, she knew right away when and where the photo was taken and smiled at the memory. 

"I remember my mom was so pissed we didn't tell her your dad was taking us to the lake." She laughed as she pointed to the picture. Marc looked confused for a moment before picking up the frame, the event clicking in his brain right away. 

"I'll never forget the sound of that woman bickering at us in Spanish. Thank god I didn't know enough of it then to know what she was saying." 

"Imagine if you all would have drowned! Nobody would know where you were! Thoughtless, both of you!"  Moni thought, hearing it in her head but in her mother's voice and native tongue. 

"It was mainly directed at me, don't worry." 

Her saying this made Marc chuckle, and she laughed along with him until his smile faded and his laughter died down into a soft weep. His father took the photo of them and kept it right there in that same spot all this time. 

Moni's face began to crease as tears pin-pricked her eyes, watching Marc stumble back and sit back on the loveseat. She found herself scrambling over to his side, running a caring hand over his shoulders while he hunched over and hid his face in his hands. The guttural wail of a man now orphaned echoed through the empty home. 

"I'm so sorry." She continued to repeat in a soft whisper until Marc's body unfolded and puffy, red eyes met hers. 

"I think I wanna be alone now." His voice croaked. All Simone could do was nod before she stood and took her duffle bag up the stairs slowly in case he changed his mind. When she was sure he wouldn't call for her to come back, she closed the door to the bedroom behind her.

As Simone sat on top of the covers of the bed in her pajamas, she couldn't shake the feeling that she had forgotten something back in New York. 

Socks? I got those. Phone charger? Have. Laptop? Of course. I still have patients who need me.

She eventually settled on it just being the feeling of forgetting to let Miguel know she landed and made it safely. To be sure it was, she went ahead and called his number but was met with a voicemail box after a few rings, meaning he wasn't near his phone. A message would have to suffice. 

"Hey, hope you're sleeping well or staying safe out there. I miss you, and I don't want you to worry so much. Call me when you get the chance." 

The remainder of her night was spent tossing and turning, unable to sleep in the unfamiliar environment, refusing to take her sleeping medication to remedy this, and being surrounded by the smell of the Spector household that took her back to her childhood. 

In turn, she thought of her mother, where she was, if she was still alive, and if it was too late to find out. She considered if she even  wanted  to find out and if she was just setting herself up for disappointment or heartbreak. After seeing how Marc handled his dad's death after not speaking to him for so long, she realized she may need to bite the bullet. 

[variablejabberwocky]

upon further research it does look like the people in the notes were right: we got our numbers from arabic and with it the number order

because before we were using not only roman numerals but we didn't seem to be doing POSITIONAL numbers either (at least not beyond what we picked up from the romans). which was WILD to learn.

its looking like the way languages/cultures DO numbers follows a general process. you start off without numbers beyond one and maybe two (sometimes up to four or five) until you need to keep track of stuff.

so counting doesn't seem to be a thing until a culture: isn't hunter gatherers anymore (so they take up herding or agriculture), engages in commerce, or (and this one is less talked about for depressingly obvious reasons) they start trying to keep track of menstruation cycles

then they take up some form of tally marks which slowly progress into an actual numeral system. of course then you run into the issue of what base the numeral system uses. i find it fascinating that apparently pretty much everyone bases it on hands in one way or another (at least initially) but HOW can vary drastically

some people count the spaces between the fingers for base-8, some base it off of one hand only for base-5, others base it off the full hand (and sometimes the toes too) for base-10 (and base-20), and then you got the babylonians/mesopotamians off on their own doing finger-bone based counting for base-12

the interesting thing is finding out that most peoples who got REALLY into the whole counting/keeping track of large numbers and Doing A Math with them seem to have started with non-positional number symbols and either slowly switched to a positional version of it or yoinked a positional one from a neighboring civilization

(positional numbers is the whole "one's place", "tens's place", "hundered's place" thing going on. non-positional systems are usually additive so you'd start by adding the biggest value symbols first, then the next, and so on. but those make VERY long symbol strings once you start getting into larger numbers. the romans dealt with that a little bit by making their previously non-positional additive system into a slightly positional system of additive-and-subtractive. so thats why VI is read as 6 while IV is read as 4. fully positional number systems have unique symbols for each number up until the base number where the whole thing resets to zero, moves over one place, and starts counting again. which is why we count to "9" in the same "one's place" and then when we add one more to get to "10" we reset the "one's place" and start the count again in the "ten's place")

but fuck people really need to come up with DIFFERENT symbols for the different numbers in different bases than base-10. cause fuck me but it was gratifying to find out confusing the base systems when they all try to use the same symbols for different things is NOT UNIQUE TO ME. like this is a PROBLEM for whole cultures in the past.

like i FINALLY got hexadecimal the MOMENT someone came up with a notation method that DOESN'T mix base-10 numbers and THE FUCKING ALPHABET. like the "1-9, skip a bit, 10-19, skip a bit" stuff i got. it was the FUCKING letters that kept fucking me up. letters are VARIABLES substituted for unknown or constant numbers, not this fuckery. ESPECIALLY since it limits the max numbers or you have to add some other fuckery??? i don't get it

but i DO get the other system because it gives you FIFTEEN UNIQUE SYMBOLS plus a zero that all take up ONE space so it makes fucking sense

but yeah apparently this was a problem for cultures who were using a different base that took up base-10 for like...advanced math and international commerce reasons but kept trying to use their OWN symbols for it. turns out taking the symbols that came with a base works out great (usually). and if not you can just make up your own

the key is to be consistent

fell down a research hole for something (don't worry about it) and hit an unexpected thought: in english the writing goes this way -> but the numbers (when written as digits and not spelled out) seem to go this way <-

like yeah we READ them this way -> but we MATH them this way <-

like when you add you add the "ones" place first THEN the "tens" and so on and so forth. and the same for subtraction, and when you do multiplication the "long" way

long division you do different (this way ->) but thats like...so you can get the decimal place right

so like....why do we do this?

why have i never noticed this before? do ALL number systems work like this? the numbers in other languages that go other directions do this or is it different?

[masterxsquare-blog]

The real reason why Ventus, Terra, and Aqua’s keyblade armor don’t have capes in BBS.

[allanbajon]

I

"The day we discovered a new Light"

It was once a relic keeping the light from dark. Many believed that The Relic is the only way to keep both sides at peace but curiosity peaked the interest of the people to the discovery of something new causing everyone to change the view of their life. The light was always the time for everyone to rise and to start everyone's life, being active, and the time for everyone's hobbies and labor. while on the other hand comes the dark. Silent, peaceful, and gentle. Rhae hates the dark he named it "Night" because once the day starts to fade the black shades from the skies appear. Everyday Rhae feels like the world is stuck in a loop. doing everything the same day by day. He started complaining and venting out to Eugene his childhood friend saying, "Have you ever wondered if there's no magical rock controlling our day?" Eugene replied, "the relic is already there when we were born. i can't imagine our world without it" Rhae didn't answer "But i agree it's pretty boring that we only have day and night here sometimes i think the skies are just a facade Eugene added" Hearing those thoughts it gave Rhae an idea to test the skies but they both need to finish working first. In this world there are many different kinds of roles. Rhae and Eugene patrolls the area securing the safety of the citizens they're called Roamers. The others are farming crops securingand maintaining resources for everyone. The Research Team designs their technology and The Warden is the highest position. After their shift Rhae wanted to discuss something with Eugene he said "Remembered what you said earlier? something about the skies being a fake? i kinda want to test the skies" Eugene replied with a shock thinking that rhae is really taking it seriously "I was just kidding earlier i didn't mean what i've said" Rhae continued to argue persistently. But after an hour of argument Eugene finally gave up. So what do you plan to do then?. Rhae replied "All citizens has always been restricted from going beyond a certain coordinates and im really intrested what's beyond those borders" Hearing the plan Eugene find it convincing so he followed Rhae blindly. The two began to wander into the unknown crossing the borders of the warden, and then as they open their eyes they saw a gentle light slightly warm but the skies are orangey with a mix of yellow, red and feathery clouds. Eugene and Rhae are in awe the skies that they witness are new to them they watched the skies until they remembered why they got there at the first place "It's so pretty" Rhae mumbled and then Eugene agreed, he walked back and forth crossing the warden's borders it is dark their world is under the Night state and then crossed the borders again, he saw the copper beauty of the skies. "Rhae come look at this!" he yelled. Rhae began doing the same comparing the skies outside the border and inside. "It's really like two different worlds" Rhae said. "Does it mean that the warden has been lying to all the people?" Eugene added. "I think we should go back for now, The Researchers will be around here soon." Rhae disagreed, he said "That's perfect we will finally witness what the Researchers and The warden are up to". Eugene is hesitant, "It's dangerous, what if we get caught?" Rhae replied, "Trust me we won't". They both hid under a rubble, after a few minutes of waiting they witnessed the warden and the researchers arriving and starded discussing. but then the warden sensed their presence. "Cease everything, I believe that we're not alone anymore". Eugene looked at Rhae and said "Sure we wont get caught" and then The Warden and his guards positioned themselves leaving no exits. Rhae whispered "Gene hands up and then slowly walk behind, if we cross the borders and then enter at a different angle i dont think they can catch us" Eugene nodded. "Hands up! and No Tricks Trespassers!" The Guards shouted. They both jumped to the borders but then they're no longer in the same world they kept falling.