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#but yeah it’s one of those things that’s hard not to feel at least a little ashamed about because most 22 year olds where i live can
mattyriddlesbitch · 20 hours
Text
Closer
Mattheo Riddle x F!Reader
Warnings: Cussing, mentions of sex and killing.
Angst/Fluff
I was listening to this song and was just thinking of this with Mattheo.
Closer by Waterparks
youtube
Nothin' stays the same
I feel love a different way, yeah
So I contemplate the change
I got my space, but what did I pay for you?
Mattheo's already decided he just can't do relationships. That's too normal for him. He can't love like other people, he thinks.
That's what he tells himself when he meets you. Seeing your bright smile as you greet him like he was a normal person and not the Dark Lord's son when he sat next to you in Potions in 4th year.
If he was normal, he might've fallen for you instantly. But he pushed those feelings down. As best as he could, at least.
He was drawn to you, though. He figured it wouldn't hurt being friends, right? Nothing more. Keeping you close enough to smile and joke around with you, but distant enough it never became more than that.
'Cause I love you or I want to
But I don't know how
Because I need to really feel you
But we're runnin' around
Because I love you or I want to
Is it easy now?
You only hit me in the evenin'
When I'm all stressed out
Being friends with you wasn't helping. It just made things worse. He was crushing hard. He felt like an idiot around you. He felt proud when he made you smile. His heart beat faster when he made you laugh.
But he wasn't normal, he reminded himself. He couldn't love like normal people. He'd hurt them. He'd be mean. He never had a healthy relationship as an example of what love looks like. Of how to treat his partner.
But, Merlin, did it hurt when he saw you with Cedric, laughing at his joke. He was fuming. As much as he knew he couldn't have you, no one else should. It only made him realize his feelings more.
I need you closer
Or I need it over
Either need you closer
Or I need it over, yeah
It was an accident. He swears. He was drunk. It was one of their parties. And he kissed you.
Such a bad mistake. It only made him want more. He wanted all of you. He didn't wanna just be friends.
You were driving him insane. He was split between wanting you all for himself or just trying to forget you, figuring it might be better for you in the long run.
There's nothin' left to let go
It's the darkest afterglow, mm
Maybe in another life (In ano—, in another life, ooh)
We can try to get us right
No, no, no
He was still stuck in his decision when he made an even worse decision.
He asked you to be in a friends with benefits situation with him. He knew a real relationship wouldn't be good for either of you, but he also couldn't get enough of you. He wanted to kiss you over and over again, wanted to run his hands over your skin, wanted to get lost in you so he could forget that you weren't really his, just for a few moments.
You agreed and he was happy and upset at the same time, knowing that was all you could be.
Because I love you or I want to
But I don't know how
Because I need to really feel you
But we're runnin' around
Because I love you or I want to
Is it easy now?
You only hit me in the evenin'
When I'm all stressed out
It was sometimes weird to hook up with him. He'd be almost romantic, worshiping your body, touching you almost reverently. You'd think he was in love with you if the next time you hooked up, he wasn't fucking you senseless.
He'd always show you care afterwards, cuddling you or getting a bath set up or falling asleep with you.
It wasn't being romantic, it was basic decency for hooking up with someone, he'd claim if you asked.
But it was the only way he could show you affection in your relationship. He couldn't be too romantic, too sweet, too touchy. You were just hooking up. Nothing more, he'd have to remind himself
I need you closer
Or I need it over
Either need you closer
Or I need it over
He broke it off with you. He said it was too much right now. Said he couldn't keep doing this.
You were confused. You thought he was happy with the arrangement. He was never the relationship type, so you knew this would probably be the closest he'd get to having one.
It was upsetting for you. Not just because you were losing the sex with him. But because you were losing him. You really liked him. You really loved him, if you'd let yourself admit that.
He avoided you. He stopped talking to you. He stopped looking at you.
'Cause you're the holiday I celebrate too late
You're the eyes I gave up tryin' to captivate
You're the song that I loved but then overplayed
And I'm the B-side throwaway
I hope you never rain on my charade
The lonely one I let myself create
I got my space, but what'd I pay?
I've been fucked so much that I no longer wait
I sabotage and break my own heart
Just in case
His heart hurt. He was trying to get over you. I mean, you weren't even together, he'd tell himself when he felt like drinking. 
His smoking habit got worse. He snapped at people more, even his friends. He locked himself away in his dorm more. He fought a lot more. He was constantly covered in cuts and bruises.
No matter what he did, you were on his mind and it made everything so much worse.
And every time he saw you, he'd be staring, looking away before you could catch him. He'd stare at all the photos he had of you when he was drunk.
He's not normal. A normal relationship isn't for him. You deserve someone who is normal, he'd think as he finished the bottle, laying down on his floor instead of moving to the bed.
So, yeah, I loved you or I tried to
But I don't know how
Used to need you and feel you
But we ran it all down
'Cause I loved you or I tried to
Can it be easy now?
Or will it kill me on the evenin'
That I let you down?
His father forced him into being a Death Eater. He hated it. He didn't want to do it. He didn't wanna go on missions. He didn't wanna kill people.
The only benefit is it gave him something else to think about. Something that wasn't you.
He gave up on you. Gave up on the idea of you two being together ever. You could never love him if he was a Death Eater. At least he had something to deter you now. Something you could blame him for and hate him and he could move on.
When the Battle of Hogwarts happened, he couldn't stick with his father anymore. Not after he saw you fighting on the other side. He switched sides, helping defeat his father. Helping get all the injured people to safety.
He killed a Death Eater in front of you. He felt horrible when he saw your horrified face. It would be an image he'll never forget. He quickly left you and went to help someone else, not being able to stand your judgment and expression.
I need you closer
Or I need it over
Either need you closer
Or I need it over, yeah
The battle was over. He just wanted to get a glimpse of you to make sure you were okay, then he'd leave. He spotted you, sitting on the ground, covered in dirt and dried blood, but overall uninjured.
He was going to leave. He was going to turn around and let you be, let you live your life. But you locked eyes and he was frozen in place. It was the first time he's even met eyes with you since he called things off. Even though you were filthy, he thought you were stunning. His heart was pounding, he could hear it in his ears.
Before he even realized it, he was running towards you. He reached you just as you stood up, wrapping his arms around you, one arm around your waist and the other holding your head to his chest. He was apologizing profusely, saying he’s an idiot, saying he shouldn’t have let you go, saying he was a coward and thought he couldn’t love. He pulled his head back to look in your eyes, cupping your cheek when he finally said he loved you.
He wanted all of you. And this time he could admit. And he admitted it straight to you.
You said you loved him back and he smiled at you, brushing his thumb on your cheek for just a few seconds before he kissed you, his arm around your waist squeezing you close to him.
Taglist:
@jeannie-beannie @yourenogoodforme @mixvchelle @helendeath @evaslytherpuff @ireallyneed-somesleep @soaked4abby @hpnsfwaddict @mayamonroem
Let me know if you wanna be added!
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mechanicalpiper · 2 days
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Hey so I know your busy doing important things (And hearts out for whatever your doing) but I just had another idea come to mind that maybe you could put in a catalog for the future!
"Villain has just been defeated in a long battle by Hero and has decided to try a bit of seduction to win the day. However, Hero is Touch Starved to hell and back and cries at the slightest nice touch/caress"
Bonus points for some heart clenching fluff
Yours truly!
Cooper
You ever procrastinate so hard you start and finish an entirely different project?
By FAR the sappiest and most hurt/comfort-y I've done and was stupidly fun to write. Enjoy :3
Snippet #8
The sounds of strike after strike rang out through the empty city street.
Hero and Villain were once more locked in a tense brawl- nothing new, of course. It had become second nature to them by now- when you spend almost every other day scrapping with the same person for years, it's not hard to get used to it. Hell, with how familiar the two had gotten with each other's fighting styles by now, it was easy for either of them to just let their mind wander while they brawled if they just weren't feeling too up to it that day.
Hero was certainly having one of those days.
They semi-consciously blocked Villain's strikes and threw blows back, less like they were brawling for the safety of the city and more like they were doing a boring day job. An entirely different focus was on their mind... one that had stuck around for a while now. A thought? A worry? A feeling, or the lack of one? Hero couldn't tell by now.
They quickly ducked out of the way just in time as Villain threw a kick at their head, knocking them out of their train of thought and back into full consciousness.
Yeah, fuck, they were fighting Villain. Almost forgot.
Villain certainly took notice of their sudden attention. "Oh, THERE you are. C'mon, can't you at least focus? It's so much less fun when you zone out like that."
"Whuh-? Pff, fun? I'm here to stop you from committing murder, not for a little playdate." Hero grumbled back at their rival, still not fully back at attention.
"Hm. Certainly not the attitude from our first battle. Losing your touch, maybe?" Villain taunted back.
"You wish."
"I don't think I need to. You seem to be dulling just fine without help."
"Still sharper than you. I was winning without paying attention! You couldn't beat my subconscious, how do you expect to beat the rest of me?" As Hero shot back, a tiny smile began to form on their face. Wow, it's been a while since they've bantered in combat like this... it felt nice to just speak with someone, even if that someone was Villain, of all people.
"PFFFF. Winning? The only reason you're not bleeding out on the concrete right now is because I'm having fun with this. I spared you there, y'know~" Villain taunted, a confident grin on their face.
"Yeah, riiiight. How about you actually do something threatening before making simple empty thr-"
Hero was cut off by a sudden feeling- they brought a forearm up to block a strike from Villain, but instead of the expected punch, they felt a grab.
A... grab?
Hero froze in place for the slightest moment.
It was only a split second, but it felt like ages, as if their brain was desperately trying to to cling onto the brief moment. The slightest sensation.
Villain's touch was soft.
Yet, despite everything, the moment was still over far too quickly. Hero hardly even considered why Villain would go for a grab in the moment- by the time they processed the fact it was an attack, it was far too late.
Villain turned around to throw Hero against the concrete wall of the building behind them.
They let out a yelp of pain as they slammed backwards into the wall. After the touch, the motion of being thrown, the hard hit... Hero was far too disoriented to get back into action, let alone stay balanced. Unable to stand up, they just slid down against the wall with a small groan of pain until they found themself at a sitting position, defeated.
Villain let out a small, cocky giggle, stepping closer to Hero to look down at them.
Hero, while still rather disoriented, looked up to see Villain towering over them. ...Wow.
"Is that 'threatening' enough for you, sweetie~?" Villain taunted once more, looking down at the defeated Hero with cocky confidence. God, they loved the feeling of the weakened Hero looking up at them. Always felt nice to win against them.
Hero was already ignoring the pain.
Their brain latched onto that one word- one Villain didn't so much as emphasize saying, like it was nothing special.
Sweetie??
A pet name. A pet name??? Villain called them a pet name??? Sure, they've heard of it being used for taunting before, and really never thought much of it, but- but something about it felt so, so different. When was the last time they were acknowledged like that? Was there a last time? Why did just being acknowledged feel so good? Fuck, they shouldn't like this, they were beat up and lying against a wall with their arch nemesis towering over them, taunting them, but- but not k-killing them? It shouldn't feel... c-comforting, should it?...
...'Sweetheart'...
Villain just looked down at Hero, their cocky expression switched to mild confusion. They certainly didn't react like they were in much pain... Hero's face wasn't that red before, was it?
"Hm. Losing focus agai-"
Hero shook their head 'no' almost instantly, cutting Villain off in mild surprise. They were definitely paying attention, alright, but...
Villain slightly cocked their head at Hero, thinking for a moment. The pause was only a second or two, though. They were quick to get back to teasing, assuming they were simply overthinking a weird reaction.
"Hmmm~" they muttered, crouching down to get level with their defeated rival, keeping that same smug, satisfied look.
"See? I could've taken you out like that aaany time I wanted~"
Hero looked off to the side, as if trying to hide from the other's gaze- Villain's confidence only grew seeing the embarrassment they wanted out of Hero.
At least, what they saw as embarrassment. While that certainly was an aspect of it... it wasn't why Hero's attention diverted like that. Their thoughts weren't the feelings of humiliation and defeat Villain assumed.
An entirely different focus was on their mind.
A thought?
A worry?
A feeling, or the lack of one?
It could be any of them. It could depend on the circumstance. It could technically fall under every one of them, with the right logic.
Hero didn't know nor care.
All they knew is what it felt like right now.
It's a fear.
A fear of this. This emotion.
The first time in memory they've felt so... acknowledged, so strangely comfy- the only time they could have this feeling was when their nemesis was using it to taunt them. The only thing they were ever really seen or known for is their protection of the city. The Agency was obviously impersonal and corporate, other Heroes saw them as an antisocial business partner, the citizens of course only liked them for the protection, and they had nobody else outside of that despite their years of previous efforts.
The only value others saw in them was the tangible benefit they provided. The only value they saw in themself was just that. They so, so badly wanted this feeling of comfort, but they so, so deeply believed they didn't deserve it.
Believed the only way they could ever be worth loving is when it was a punishment like this.
All Villain saw was Hero looking off to the side. Zoning out again? They mumbled something to themself, leaning down just a little more.
Hero didn't always used to do that. It had them worried, honestly. It only began somewhat recently, but it was absolutely constant.
Villain felt bad. Yeah, their public motive was always money or power or whatever evil plot they had for the week would accomplish, and while those certainty were good benefits, they weren't the reason they did it.
They did it for Hero.
They weren't joking when they said they were messing with them for fun earlier. It started as just a want to fight, but the second they came across Hero, they couldn't keep themself away. At first it was simply their fighting style being fun, as Villain justified it to themself. Then the wit in their banter was more entertaining than others. Then they provided the biggest challenge. Then... well, Villain couldn't deny a sense of warmth when they were around Hero.
They had so much personality, so much energy, but as time passed it felt like they got less so. Villain was almost scared to watch it. Not because it was more fun to fight them, but rather... well, they had to admit to themself they just didn't want to see Hero so thoroughly unhappy. So sapped of life.
Villain took one hand and gently swooped it under Hero's chin, turning their head back to face them and lifting their chin a little. Hero flinched a little, but didn't pull back.
"Hey. Pay attention, sweetie."
Hero's breathing got slightly quicker. Shallower. Starting off subtle, it ramped up.
Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit, hOLY SHIT, HOLY SHIT.
The feeling of Villain's hand was the best thing they'd ever felt. In their life. They didn't know anything could be this soft, any temperature could be this comforting and warm, that any grip could be so firm yet gentle, that any gaze could be so powerful yet soft- they were completely hyperventilating, tears welling in their eyes. They didn't want to trust it, but they wanted the comfort too badly to treat this rationally. They'd never felt anything so unbelievably wonderful. They wanted it so, so bad.
Villain couldn't stop themself from gasping. They certainly weren't expecting that reaction, but seeing Hero just break down like that, they were absolutely overcome with the heat of the moment need to just... protect them. Comfort them.
Only a moment later, the two simultaneously fell into an impulsive hug.
Villain squeezed Hero tightly against them as Hero buried their face in Villain's shoulder. Hero completely stopped thinking about their doubts- only one thing mattered right now, and that was Villain. It was so unbelievably comfy, warm, happy, soft, safe... years of built up serotonin was flooding out all at once, and it only got better as Villain brought one hand up from the hug to run it through Hero's hair.
They'd never been this much of an absolute mess. They'd never been this happy in their life.
Villain just continued holding Hero tight.
Minutes passed. Neither wanted the moment to end.
But finally, after what felt like years, Hero's breathing finally began to get deeper again. Villain let out a relived sigh, though didn't quite let go yet, allowing Hero's tears to dry and breathing to fully steady. Villain stayed patient as Hero got calmer and calmer until their desperate squeeze against Villain finally relaxed.
Hero felt the safest they ever had, and Villain couldn't be happier. The idea that they were rivals didn't even cross either of their minds- it just felt so right.
"...How're you feeling?"
Hero answered in a quiet, vulnerable, satisfied whisper, more emotion in their voice than Villain had ever heard.
"...n-needed this."
For the first time in ages, an entirely new focus was on Hero's mind.
A thought?
A worry?
A feeling?
They were certainly leaning towards it being a feeling.
That feeling was love.
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sapphicmsmarvel · 16 hours
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Modern!Azriel: "too much"
lol i’m projecting in this one. this is how my extended family has always made me feel so 🤷🏻‍♀️
tw: not eating due to anxiety.
-You kept Azriel hidden from your extended family for three years. 
-You truly did not have much association with them. They were kind but not loving towards you. 
-Your parents knew of him as well as the two cousins you were closest with that actually loved you. 
-About a year in, you and Azriel had the talk about your extended family. 
At first, Azriel was kind of hurt by it. He brought you around his family. His chosen and blood when he had to. 
-Your first major argument was about you keeping him away from your family. 
“Are you embarrassed by me?” His voice cracked. 
“What? No! This isn’t about you, Azriel.” You sighed. 
“Then what is it? Are you freaking out about commitment to something?” 
“I just don’t want to bring you around them!” You cried. 
“Why?” 
“It doesn’t matter.” You crossed your arms. 
“Yes it does! Clearly something is bothering you. I cannot rest until I know what it is, Y/N.” He sighed. “I feel like I’m back in high school and my girlfriend is embarrassed to be seen with me.” 
That’s when your tears broke. You didn’t cry often. It took a while before you felt safe enough to do so in front of him. 
“I just…” You wiped your eyes and sniffed. “I’m really scared to bring you around them because I don’t want one of the few good things in my life to be tainted by them.” 
His silence spurred you on. “I don’t want you to be chased away.” 
“Baby,” He sighed. He walked to where you were in the dining room and leaned against the table in front of you. His legs spread, he put his hands on that plush waist he loves so much, and pulled you towards him. “I don’t want to push you, I’m sorry my insecurity got the better of me. But, you do see where I'm coming from, yes?” 
You sniffed and nodded, “I’d feel the same. I’m sorry I didn’t communicate properly.” 
“You were scared.” He justified it for you. 
“So were you a few minutes ago.” You nudged his shoulder. “If you’re going to validate me, I'm going to validate you.” 
“Two people pleasers in a relationship huh?” He chuckled. 
“That’s why we’re working on communication.” You brought your hands up to his broad shoulders. “Can we talk about this tonight? I just need to organize my thoughts a bit before….” You struggled to find the right words. “Ugh let me start over.” You sighed. 
He couldn’t help his smile, his girl was trying so hard. “I want to be able to eloquently tell you what's going on. It’s not you, it’s not even me, well kind of since I’m not letting you around them. But, they are a big issue.” 
“Okay, I’ll order our favorite takeout and we can talk about it when we’re eating. Is 20 minutes enough to help you get your thoughts together?” 
“Yeah.” You smiled, he wasn’t judging you. He was accepting you. Your neurodivergency and the way your mind worked. He kissed your forehead and went off to order the food. He knew your order by heart. 
-So when you guys got your food, you began to tell the story. How you were never “one of them” despite growing up with them. You were always left out and kids were mean. Then you came out as queer, which didn’t help being left out. Everyone looked at you weird. 
He knew better than anyone how it felt to be left out and hurt by your blood relatives. Granted, completely different situations however both are valid situations. 
He assured you he wasn’t upset at you, he was upset for you. He then told you how he would wait patiently. A couple of times, you almost got enough courage to do it. But then chickened out and just stayed home with him. You never went to those gatherings without someone. To be frank, you preferred Azriel’s company. 
-So when you finally took the plunge it was terrifying. 
-It was your aunt's birthday, a week before thanksgiving. You told them about him, they were all shocked to say the least that you had a partner and had had one for three years. 
-Then you got the normal guilt trip of “why didn’t you say something sooner?” or  “why didn’t you bring him” 
-Not “what’d i do to make you feel unsafe telling me this?” But that’s besides the point. 
-So the next week, you brought him to thanksgiving. 
-Your family was shocked to say the least. 
-That the loudest, vulgar, weird person in their family got the quietest, kindest man. 
-Azriel knew how you felt about this part of the family. You had always felt left out, like you weren’t good enough. You were ostracized as a child from them because you were different. 
-You were the only cousin that wasn’t baptized. Which made you different enough. But you’d rather think for yourself and your parents raised you without religion so you could choose your own path. 
-You cussed, you had tattoos, piercings. You wore clothes you were comfortable in which meant yeah, sometimes you wore a tank top that showed a bit of boobs. You wore all black as well. Also you were the plus size family member and you were queer. So that didn’t help the “fitting in” aspect. 
-He wore a nice black henley and black jeans. As well as his boots. He wanted to make a nice impression even though you told him that he could show up naked and you wouldn’t care. 
-He would. He wasn’t modest but he’d rather not have his future in-laws seeing his ‘monster cock’ as you called it. 
-God, he genuinely loved your vulgarity. 
-He knew how nervous you were, he knew you’d barely eat anything just because of sheer anxiety. His goal was to make sure you ate some appetizers or something.  
-When you walked in, you could tell your family was just floored by him. He greeted everyone with the proper “Mr.” and “Mrs/Ms/Miss.” He shook everyone's hands, smiled at your baby cousins who knew nothing of the strange man but were comfortable enough to wave at him. 
The entire time, he had a hand on your waist. Showing he’s on your side. 
-You warned him that your family was going to eventually get him alone to talk to him about you to which he responded with “let them.” 
They weren’t pissing him off too much. He didn’t like the way some of them were around you. Like you were someone to avoid. When he knew that you were the safest person in the room to any stranger, let alone him. 
”I’m sure sometimes she can be overwhelming.” Your aunt said as if it was a fun little tidbit. But he knew it was a jab. 
If smiles could kill, Azriel’s could’ve maimed her. “Actually she’s perfect.” He let his guard down enough to look at you across the room with your cousins, a lovestruck look on his face. “If she’d let me, I’d marry her tomorrow.” 
Your family was clearly surprised. You had never brought anyone around and now you bring this guy for the first time and he’s ready to marry you? 
-Throughout the day, he kept trying to get you to come out of your shell a bit. 
-When he made you snort in laughter, he let out his first real smile all day. Let these assholes see how happy you make him. 
-Then he noticed your elderly family member glaring at your tattoos. She was caught by Azriel and had the decency to have a look on her face like “can you blame me?” To which he smiled and rolled up his sleeves to show off his ink. 
She had the decency to look embarrassed. 
-Your family quickly began to see a real side of you. One that’s comfortable in her space enough to lean on someone. That someone was Azriel.
-Shortly after the meal, you two left. Claiming you had to go to Azriel’s mothers. They didn’t need to know that you had thanksgiving with her and the whole chosen family the day before. 
-You were finally able to relax when the door shut to the car. You two began the drive back home to the city. 
-You snuggled into him over the center console. Your arm wrapped around his bicep as he drove. You sighed, completely content and he kissed your temple while keeping his eyes on the road. 
“Thank you.” You whispered. 
“What for?” 
“Just…loving me as I am.” 
“You should not feel the need to thank me for that.” He said. 
“Well I am. So deal with it.” You huffed, but you kissed his arm through his shirt. “You’re never embarrassed of me, you take me in stride and love me as if I’m…” You trailed off. “Irreplaceable.” 
“You are.” He said so earnestly that you almost weeped. You squeezed him tighter. “You make me feel so happy, so….loved. I’ve never felt so loved. Those people are fools for not seeing how incredible you are.” 
You felt your eyes getting misty. “You’re so getting head tonight.” You whispered. 
He let out a loud, sharp laugh of surprise. Yeah, he was in it forever. 
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ajaxsprettyboy · 3 days
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Dottore loves you .
I did not proofread this enough I was ovulating and dottore had my brain in a chokehold.... this is dottore x trans male reader and very gay and chaser dottore and cock piercings and gay sex and possibly gangbangs and pregnancy and mmmh also dottore fluff at the end... bc hes cute
Oopsie :3
boys who let their boyfriends grope their tits and rub their tiny boy cunts.
Dottore wouldn’t consider himself a chaser, no, he just loves what you have to offer. He loves the way your nipples perk up when he opens the door and comes home, the cold air causing your body to react accordingly. He loves how soft your boytits are, the way they feel in his hands is remarkable.
He loves the way your hips sway when you walk and the look of your ass when you bend over to do anything. He loves the way your ass jiggles when you jump, and the way your thighs look wrapped around his waist. It’s not all sexual, sure, but he’s a very busy man and when he comes home after a failed experiment he’d prefer if you were wearing minimal clothing.
You see, he just loves the way your tdick reacts to his touch and the way your hole gets so slick when you suck him off. Not to mention how pretty you look with his cum on your face.
“That’s my good boy”
He’d murmur, his lips curling into a lustful smile as he pulls you up to bend you over the kitchen counter. He promises he’ll eat after this, he knows you worked so hard on making his favorite food for him but he just can’t help wanting your cute little boypussy more.
Your moans are just so cute and the way you react to his tongue on your tdick, god it’s intoxicating. Not to mention the way you clench around his fingers as he tries so hard to prep your cunt to take him. No matter how hard he tries, he’s never stretching you enough.. maybe it’s the piercings in his cock but still! He tries, he does… at least he wants you to think.. he tries.
He made you come up with a safe word because he loves you too much to actually hurt you badly. But that doesn’t stop him from getting off to the cries of pain and pleasure you mewl out every time he fucks you. You haven’t used the safe word yet so he tries to test his limits. The more you take the more he tries, it’s not coming from a place of malice! Just sadism.
Unfortunately for you because the original is in love with you in his own sadistic way, all of the segments are in love with you. Which then means that all of them want to fuck you. Thankfully, you only live with the original so unless you run into one of the segments, there’s no need to carry condoms on your person.
Dating dottore isn’t all sexual, though! He’ll give you top surgery if you truly want it, and he’ll give you your weekly t-shot! Plus he’s slightly nicer to you than to everyone else! He’s not that affectionate, though… but he will do complex experiments to find ways to make things that don’t appear in nature grow in his lab for you!
Say if you wanted a plant, a pretty one, one with large pretty flowers and the petals in your exact favorite color in the exact shade you like best, he’d genetically engineer a plant to be your perfect plant. Not to mention that he’d name it after you. He’s also a really good cook! All those years as an academia student really paid off!
He’s also surprisingly good with animals… kids not so much… well, if they’re healthy and you really want to I guess but if they’re sick with a rare or untreatable condition.. maybe don’t let him near..
His blue hair is a dominant trait by the way, if you have babies with him those babies are coming out blue! Sharp teeth? Also completely genetic, not a dominant trait but one that will most likely get one of 3 babies. He’s also very fertile, get the iud. Let him put that iud in unless you want more blue people roaming tyvat. (Would also fuck you while pregnant and/or sharing the room with the baby. Do not let him become a father.)
use condoms, please. He’s clean, yeah, but as I said, he’s very fertile. Also very horny so expect sex daily.
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I am loved! I am loved!
Few things: Tad bit of Misogyny (Adam, kinda Lucifer), swearing (almost everyone), Sera, Slander (Lucifer and Lilith), extermination talk, bad people mentioned
sequel to this
Me and my husband, we are doing better.
Or at least that’s how I feel.
It had been a few centuries since you’ve been married and it seems like he’s been more tense lately. You thought to take him out to for lunch.
“Adam! Sweetheart?” You opened the door of the conference room that a small light blue elephant cherub had directed you toward. He had come with you. “Thank you silver.”
“Babe! C’mere!” Adam motioned you over. “Listen Sera my baby agrees with this.”
“Darling? Do you?”
“I completely agree with my husband. What am I agreeing with?”
“Adam thinks that it’s a good idea to kill off some of the worst sinners in hell.”
“…Adam?”
“Yeah because you’ve been spewing nonsense about the whore with some mildly entertaining curves trying to overthrow us with those sinners.”
“Her husband had a smaller waist and wider hips than she does.” You and him wheezed at that.
“True! Oh ho ho,” he panted from laughing too hard. “And this is why I love you, honey.”
“Um… so what was his idea Sera?” You asked bashfully. Adam had never publicly stated his love for you. Sure he was touchy-feely but he always blamed that on his high sex-drive when asked.
“Adam wants to train an army to kill certain sinners.”
“Only the really bad ones, like the ones we talked about.” Adam assured.
“Like the people harming children? Or those that sexually abused others?” You asked.
“Yeah! Or the really really bad killers who just slaughter tons of innocent people for no reason other than that they can!”
“Yeah Sera I agree. Not all of the souls down there would have to get involved.” You reasoned.
“No, course not.” Adam agreed.
“I don’t know, darling.” Sera looked at you both apprehensively.
“Sera, you know that people like that do not deserve to live. It was only because of Lucifer that they exist! And it is because of him that they get to roam freely!” You asserted, anger grew in you as the seconds passed thinking about Lucifer.
“…okay.”
“But! Just the very bad ones.” You warned.
“Course! I may be a “misogynist” or whatever but I’m not a monster.”
“Do you want to go get burritos now?” You grabbed his hand.
“Fuck yeah! See you later Sera!” He tossed you over his shoulder and slapped your ass.
////////////////////////////////////////
It had been a few months and Sera arranged a meeting with Lucifer.
“Sera! Please make him bring Lilith!”
“Why on earth would you want that?”
“Because then Adam and I can show them that we don’t care about them!”
“Ugh, please don’t be so immature.”
“Please Sera! Please please please!”
“Okay okay! Just don’t be upset if he doesn’t care. And don’t interrupt the meeting okay?”
“Thank you Sera!!”
////////////////////////////////////////
The day of the meeting you had picked out matching outfits for you and Adam. White robes with gold accents. You had gold jewelry in the shape of crosses. And you slipped on your wedding ring with the biggest diamond you’d (or anyone’d ever seen).
“Adam sweetheart! Cmon!”
“Babe why do we have to go?” Adam whined.
“The Morningstars will be there. Don’t you want to show them up?”
“…yes.”
“Come on then! You big baby.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too, Adam.”
////////////////////////////////////////
“What the fuck are they doing here?!” Lucifer shouted.
“Calm down Lucifer. Darling here overseas humanity.” Sera calmly explained.
“Why did you have to mess up all of humanity?” You glared at the two.
“And Adam was the one who came up with the idea.”
“Yeah bitch!”
“Okay… then why are they on Adam’s lap?” Lilith asked.
“Because we’re married?” You said.
“WHAT?!” The two exclaimed.
“Yeah! I can steal your bitch too Luci.”
“Hey…” You pouted at Adam.
“Don’t take it to heart! You know I think you’re a badass bitch!” He nuzzled your neck and gave you a little peck.
“Can we please just get this over with?” Lucifer asked Annoyed.
////////////////////////////////////////
After the meeting Lucifer cornered you. “You may think you’re special because you got into the pants of the first man; but you’re not. You’re just some freak with pretty privilege and that’s all you’ll ever be!”
“…” You smile. “You think I’m pretty?”
“I-” He just stood there stuttering like an idiot.
You purposely brushed his shoulder and said, “Keep dreaming that you could ever have this.” Not looking back as you strutted down the hall to find your husband.
“Get your hands off me!” You heard him scream. “I love my baby and you aren’t going to change that Lilith.”
“I’m sorry are we going to have a problem here?” You walked in.
“Of course not babe. The Morningstars are just trying to stir up drama.” He came over to you and you wrapped your arms around his.
“How well I know.” You turn back. “Lil, step off my man and try to get a hold on your for a change.”
‘Yes me and my husband, we are doing better.’
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letters-from-dekarios · 22 hours
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so high school
summary: you’re the high school’s star football player. never would you have imagined that your eyes would set on the dorky english club head and class president during the hottest party of the year, but some things are meant to be.
or: you flirt with gale at a party
word count: 7.5k
tags: modern high school!au, 18!gale x 18!reader, m!reader, some VERY minor suggested NSFW, another t!swift inspired fic, all the people are in this one somehow, football coach halsin, english teacher mystra (still part of the hate club), high school tropes, kind of underaged drinking (i don’t condone!)
Being the best wasn’t easy. Whether it was sports, academics, or the streets, dealing with the pressure of staying on top of everything was about the most difficult thing someone could do. Having to do all of that, while still being young and impressionable, just made it all the more arduous.
Yet, here you stood— star of the football team, the greatest quarterback your school had in years. You were already being offered full-ride scholarships to play for some of the most formidable teams. Naturally, everything was going tremendously. How you’d managed to get this far was just astounding, especially considering you weren’t exactly known for being intellectual or getting all a’s. It spoke volumes to receive the stacks of offers from different colleges despite all that. A part of you couldn’t help but feel guilty for it, taking away the opportunities from someone who’d grow up to do much greater things in life than you. But the other part of you was just glad to be recognized for the hard work you put into your body.
After all, you were tall, lean, and incredibly fit. All the girls fawned over you like they were going to lose you if they didn’t. And you were hot, so that helped, too. Even some of the guys looked at you twice, despite the fact you were about 70% sure you didn’t swing that way. At least, you didn’t for the guys you caught looking at you. The other 30% was reserved for guys who looked like Flynn Rider, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, and a few of your teammates who you’d always joked that you’d date if you were a girl.
You were well-liked, popular, and knew anybody who was anybody in your hometown. You had connections thick and thin, and, really, you were the teamiest player who could play teams. Okay, that was stupid, but you were a teenage boy— virtually everything you said that wasn’t about football was.
It was getting to that time of year when all the school dances and after-parties were happening, and you were being invited to all of them. You, of course, were also accepting every invitation that came your way, making promises you knew you’d try, and fail, to keep. But, hey, at least you tried.
And then there was Gale. He was… well, a dork to say the least. He was handsome, sure, but he didn’t stand out to anyone besides being the class president and English club head. He was geeky, nerdy, and whatever other adjective you could think of for people who spent their free time analyzing the psychological effects of cannibalism in literature. Yeah, he was liked by the other nerds who were in the same club as him, but he wasn’t exactly popular. He was elected class president mostly as a joke, and you hated to admit that you were one of those votes. He was a nice guy and didn’t do anyone any harm but, alas, high school is a feeding ground for the wildest of beasts.
The most riveting thing about him was that there were rumors of him and the English teacher doing it in her classroom. With the way she looked at him and gave him unique treatment, it almost wasn’t even gossip. Everyone in the school believed it, and everyone in the school meant you, too. It wasn’t unheard of before, teachers going after their students, but that didn’t make it ethical or legal. Still, people talked about it like it was some article in the Sunday newspaper to be marveled at. Mostly, he kept to himself aside from the occasional class meeting that required him to talk to everyone, and was generally quiet.
This particular day happened to be one of his required meetings. You, and your grades’ peers, were gathered in the gymnasium for “information” on the school prom. Despite graduation coming so close, prom felt a million miles away.
You and your friends sat and joked with one another about mindless things, idiotic things, as you waited for whatever announcement was to come.
“Dude, when do you think it started?” Your friend, Wyll, asked you.
“What started?” You questioned, watching as he pointed to Mystra’s longing gaze directed behind the curtain. “Oh my god, we have this conversation like sixteen times a week. Can we please talk about something else?” You groaned, gaining a disapproving shove from Wyll.
“Oh, yes, I’d much rather talk about what we’re each going to have for dinner,” Astarion sarcastically remarked from behind you, kicking you softly. “Don’t be so dull! We have to get through this pointless meeting one way or another,” he pouted, and you nearly wanted to punch his perfect little face in.
“Don’t be so snide, Astarion. I’d much rather talk about that than the sex lives of our teachers,” Jenevelle retorted, rolling her eyes at all three of you.
“Tchk, boys. That is all they care about. Sticking their little wands into whatever hole will open for them,” Lae’zel added on, and all four of you audibly cringed at that. “What? Do I not speak the truth?”
You sighed, waving a hand to dismiss everyone’s comments. “Look, I want to figure out what our stupid prom theme is going to be and get out of here. Let’s talk sex when it won’t get us kicked out,” you told them, and a warning look from your coach, Halsin, signified your conversation was not as private as you thought.
“That’s enough, Mister Y/L/N,” Halsin called up to you, and you bowed your head in acknowledgement. Wyll nudged you playfully, and you snapped at him under your breath to cut it out.
“It is my pleasure and honor to introduce your beloved class president- Gale Dekarios!” Mystra, unmistakably, introduced Gale to the class who gave half-assed applause.
“Hello-“ Gale cleared his throat, glancing down at the notes he had written down. You always found it funny how anxious he’d get on stage. You’d see him start messing with the hem of his shirt, on the side, rubbing it repetitively between his fingertips, and then he’d start talking. This interaction was not foreign.
“On behalf of the students and faculty, it’s my pleasure to be able to announce this year’s prom theme with you all,” Gale began, and you heard some douchebag start booing him. He was quickly shut up by a teacher quickly shushing him, and Gale began again. “The faculty present at this event requested I start with the regulations first. So let’s get into that,” he smiled at everyone, turned a page, and went on.
“Oh brother, this guy stinks!” You heard one of your teammates reference behind you, a small chorus of laughter emitting from his section, you included. Gale went on about how there was no drinking, no aggressive or verbally offensive music, and definitely no sex. Some other rules were mentioned about dress and grooming but nobody ever paid any attention to those.
“This year’s prom theme is…” he allowed tension to build for a brief second, and then smiled as he looked up at everyone, “Midnight Masquerade!”
Your class erupted with both relief and joy. The previous year had ‘Under the Sea’ as their theme and it was a dumpster fire disaster. You all feared what the teachers and principal would decide but, thankfully, it seemed they pulled through this year.
“Looks like you might finally get laid, Lae’zel,” Jenevelle teased, only to be met with a hardened glare. “It’s only a joke, cut that out.”
Once the meeting was dismissed, everyone began discussing what their outfits would be. You had a few weeks to prepare, and you were already forming ideas in your head.
Those few weeks soon turned into days, and then hours as you and all your friends piled into a limo Wyll’s dad had rented for you all.
“Move over, asshole!” You finally got comfortable in the limo with some shifting about, everyone’s dates beside them. For the most part, at least.
“Dude, I thought you were going with Alfira? What happened to that?” Wyll asked you, and you shrugged.
“Dude,” you mocked, “We talked about this. She’s into girls, she’s going out with that one from the D&D club,” you reminded him, and he nodded in distinction.
“Damn, Y/N, going to the prom with no date? And I thought you were mister popular,” Astarion poked fun at you, while you rolled your eyes.
“I’m sure I’ll be going to the afterparty with someone, don’t doubt me on that,” you chuckled, and Wyll whacked your arm playfully.
“That’s the spirit! Or, hey, maybe you’ll meet someone at the afterparty instead. I heard there’s supposed to be booze,” Wyll grinned at you, and you kicked him back.
“Yeah, 'cause it’s happening at your bigass mansion,” you joked, then you and your party were off.
You each slipped on your intricate masks as you drove into the parking lot. Yours matched your suit, a navy blue color that had intricate black designs hand-sewn into it. The patterns made out flowers and daggers, twisting together into an amalgamation. The mask itself was also a navy blue color, with black lace lined over top. Your tie was the reverse, black lace on blue fabric, and you wore a black shirt that complemented the entire outfit. You were the star of the show, as expected.
You ate, danced, took stupid photo booth pictures with your friends all crammed into the tiny box— you had a good time. Eventually, the voting opened for the prom royalties and you knew immediately who would win.
The night went on, and people partnered for the slower songs that played over the speakers. Somehow, you were pushed up against a guy and encouraged to dance together. You shrugged, pulled him against your waist, and followed the motions of those around you.
“You look nice,” he complimented, his hands resting up at your shoulders.
“So do you,” you returned his adoration and observed his suit. It was a deep purple color that matched his skin tone. Much like your own, it was stitched with a lighter purple and gold that made intricate starry designs. The mask hiding his face was also like yours, matching the color of his suit and overlaid with golden lace.
You leaned down towards him, pulling his waist flush against you as you whispered low into his ear. “You look like royalty,” you hummed, feeling his hands tighten at your shoulders.
“Thank you…” he smiled softly as your lips brushed against his cheek. The warmth radiated off of his face and pulled into your own, his blushing far from hidden even under the mask. “I don’t think you’d say that without the disguise, though..” he laughed awkwardly and you stood straight up again.
“Oh? Why do you say that?” You asked, continuing to move around the dance floor with him, moving between other couples.
“Just a… general observation,” he shrugged, messing with your hair gently.
You lowered down near him again, brushing your noses together while looking into his eyes. “I’m going to take that as a challenge,” you grinned, glancing down at his lips and then back up at his eyes. “I’ll find out who you are and you’ll be mine by the end of the school year,” you smirked, and he gave a half-smile back.
“You can certainly try,” he teased and then began to pull away from you as the song came to a close. He stepped back towards his group, eyes still trained on you.
“Oh, I will,” you nodded in recognition before going back to your friends, who were laughing hysterically at you.
There was something magical about the energy he had, one that couldn't be replicated so easily. Despite the minor interaction, you were drawn directly to him. You knew that he’d stick in your mind like a bad stain you couldn’t wash out, clinging to the foreground of your mind. You wouldn’t escape him even if you tried, and you didn’t exactly want to.
“What?” You asked, taking a drink handed to you from Jen as you returned.
“What do you mean ‘what’? You were practically making out with that guy!” Wyll laughed, patting your shoulder reassuringly.
“You pushed me to him!” You defended, hands in the air as if you were on trial.
“That doesn’t mean you have to cause a scene,” Jen teased, nudging you in the side.
“You guys are just jealous I have more game than you,” you chuckled, everyone hitting you playfully.
“Mate, if you have more game than me then that means I’m dead,” Karlach cackled, the girl at her side giggling at her comments.
“Screw all of you. Seriously.” You shook your head at them, striking up a different conversation while the music slowly quieted. The lights moved from the dance floor to the stage as one of the teachers walked on stage.
“Homecoming and prom, let’s do this,” you smiled down at Jenevelle as the votes were beginning to be counted. Hands interlocked, you’d been praying for this for weeks. It didn’t mean anything academically, but it was the event that counted. The two of you had won the year prior at your junior homecoming and were slated to win prom, too. You had been childhood best friends, none the wiser, and always voted each other for things like this. You shared every joyous moment like blood siblings, and you believed this would be another to add to your memories.
“Alright students, gather around!” All the masked teens huddled near the stage, everyone whispering about who would be voted up this year.
“This year’s prom royalties are…” Since it was a masquerade, they got around saying names by simply pointing you out in a crowd. Both winners were shown with a bright spotlight highlighting them.
You, unsurprisingly, were one of them. You turned to Jen, expecting her to be lit up like you were, but found her shrouded in darkness instead. You looked up at the teacher, beaming at the crowd and motioning for you to step on stage. You were confident you and Jen were going on stage together! But as your eyes found the other light, twinkling in the back of the crowd, you saw it shining on another boy.
Another guy? Who voted for him? And how did he get enough votes to kick Jen out of her spot you were so sure was secured?
Your heart broke for a moment realizing that you’d lost out on this with her. What was supposed to be your final bow turned into breaking ankles. It didn’t feel right.
Jen pat your arm reassuringly and motioned you up to the stage. You smiled despite the hurt, walked through the crowd, and stepped up in front of everyone. The other winner followed a moment after, his friends encouraging him to make his way up. You recognised the suit belonging to the mystery dancer from before, a piece of you glad for it to be him and not a stranger. Even though he was, still, a stranger.
“Let’s give a hand to our royals!” The teacher stepped away from the mic to clap, allowing the other faculty member to place the plastic crowns on each of your heads. You glanced over at the other, who was clearly uncomfortable, and sighed internally. You’d make this easy for him, at least.
“Just follow my lead,” You told him, taking his hand and holding each of yours up with your award-winning smile. You waved with your free hand and pulled him down the stairs and to the dance floor. He barely contested with you, allowing you to guide him. You pondered over the challenge you’d proposed, wondering how you’d find out who he was. You only had so long to do it, of course, so you had to be on your toes to memorize any detail you could about him.
“Now, our traditional slow dance!” The same teacher called into the microphone before the music faded back in over the speakers.
“Just like before, yeah?” Raising a suggestive eyebrow at him, you wrapped your arm tightly around his waist, hand planted firmly against his lower back. His hands went back up to your shoulders like they had before, steadying himself against you.
“I didn’t mean to steal this from her,” the boy apologized, and you made a face to brush off the comment.
“You didn’t exactly look thrilled to do this, so I can’t assume you voted for yourself,” you shrugged, tugging him close by the waist. You took one of his hands, spun him away from you, and then back in. “Besides, I can get more clues from you this way. And put on a little show,” your eyes flicked towards the people recording, and the boy in your arms nodded in understanding.
“Thanks, for this,” he replied, smiling faintly at you. You could only nod your head to accept his gratitude, though you would have done the same no matter who was there with you.
When it finally ended, you two parted ways without much discussion and returned to your friend groups yet again. Though, the air was different this time.
“That was the same guy. Who is he?” Jen asked, and you shrugged. You had no idea, but you wanted to find out.
“I have no idea, but he’s cool,” you took the crown off your head and popped it on hers, smiling down at Jen. “There, now you can experience it,” you joked.
She took the crown off, and handed it back to you, flattening out her hair. “Thanks, but no thanks. I don’t want to get head lice from you,” she shook her head, freeing herself of the thought.
“You’re so dramatic,” you laughed, ruffling her hair slightly, causing her to whack your arm.
“Hey! That was crazy!” Karlach came running over, another girl in her arms, tossing her other across your shoulders. Sometimes you wondered why she wasn’t the quarterback, but she much preferred other sports.
“You going to the afterparty?” You asked over the music as it got louder again, consuming your thoughts.
“Hells yeah I am! You?” She asked, shaking you slightly in excitement.
“Wouldn’t be me if I didn’t go!” You laughed with her, though you could never understand her excitement half the time. She was good company, and you knew the afterparty would be ten times more enjoyable with her there, so who were you to complain?
Your group noticed people starting to leave and took that as your queue to head out. You slipped back into the limo, the party continuing on with the drive back to Wyll’s.
With everyone linked up with their significant others, or their dates for only the one night, you couldn’t help feeling lonely. Each of your friends had a partner, and you were just.. there. Fame meant nothing if there was nobody to share it with. And, no, you weren’t going to not share it with your friends— but sharing it with a lover was so much different. It would’ve been nice to have someone to joke with about dancing with another person that wasn’t them. Yeah, you claimed you didn’t really “swing that way” but, maybe, you kind of did? After all, you’d just essentially flirted with a guy for half the night. Maybe you wouldn’t mind it if it meant you had a partner who fit against you like the missing piece of your puzzle.
“You look spaced out, Y/N, you good?” Wyll asked suddenly, and you snapped out of the daze you’d been in.
“Huh? Oh- yeah! I’m just thinking about how tired we’re going to be tomorrow,” you laughed, and Jen patted your knee in agreement. With all the thoughts bouncing around your head, you were sure you’d leave almost immediately after arriving. But at least you tried!
In the back of the limo, as you all pulled up to the event, each of you began shimmying out of your tight-fitting clothes. Thankfully, you had on an undershirt and pants stored in the car so your change was rather easy. You stuck your suit under the seat to grab later while you changed out of your shoes.
“Hey, Wyll, thank your dad for getting this bigass limo for us!” Karlach shouted as she helped Jen out of her dress, everyone tangled within one another as they changed.
“Yeah, and for hosting the afterparty,” you added, everyone cheering because you knew you’d have a good time.
Once you pulled up, you were back to being stupid, wild teenagers again. Some people stayed in their outfits, but not many, and most had gotten comfortable long before they got there.
Once again, music cut through your thoughts as you entered. You flipped a switch instantaneously, smiling and waving at people who knew you as you passed through. You caught up in idle conversations here and there, laughing with your teammates and drinking back the lingering feeling you had earlier. But the longer the party went on, the lonelier you got.
You were so adored by everyone that nobody considered loving you. How does that even happen?
Maybe you were just notorious for turning girls down- claiming you didn’t want anything serious. It’s not like you slept around, either. You tried to be a gentleman, but the girls who always wanted you only wanted to change you. They wanted you for their little football player fantasies, and when they couldn’t have you they moved on to someone else. It was weird. You shined and sparkled like the night sky, but who was your moon to ignite the atoms that made you who you were?
Eventually, in your tipsy state, you ended up alone in a library, seeking solace from the throbbing of the world around you. Red solo cup in hand, slumped down on the white leather couch, you scrolled aimlessly through your phone. You didn’t hear the door creak open until it was shut, and someone sat on the couch next to you.
“Oh- sorry. I hope you don’t mind,” you turned your head to look at who had joined you, only to find Gale seated there.
“It’s fine,” you shrugged, taking another sip and going back to your phone. “Trying to find quiet from the party?” You asked, not bothering to look up.
“Ah… yes. I wasn’t exactly expecting to receive an invitation and I’m quite dreading the fact I said yes and showed up,” he chuckled, and you saw him messing with his shirt like usual out of the corner of your eye.
“You do that a lot,” you remarked suddenly, and he looked confused.
“Apologies? I do what a lot?” He asked, head tilted at you.
“The shirt thing. When you get nervous you rub the corner hem of your shirt between your fingers.”
“You noticed that?”
You blinked at your phone, realizing what you’d said aloud. You didn’t mean it in a bad way, it was just an observation of his habits. After all, you had to stare at him while he talked about class politics and whatnot for hours during the semesters- you saw him do it all the time.
“I don’t.. sorry, I…” you cleared your throat, taking a sip of the drink in your cup with a small shrug. “Don’t mean it in a bad way, I guess. I just noticed it,”
“Oh. Okay.”
Gale pulled out his phone, knee bouncing as he got comfortable and assumed a position similar to yours.
“Congratulations, by the way,” he added after a second, and you weren’t sure what he meant.
“On what?”
“Being prom king. It was expected, but congratulations anyway,” he smiled over at you, and you returned it half-heartedly.
“Thanks. I have no clue who was up there with me, though,” you laughed slightly, though the confusion was genuine. Something felt so right about dancing there with that boy that you weren’t sure what it was. Fate, or simply that nagging longing in the back of your mind looking for someone to fill the void?
Gale was about to respond, but several of your teammates came barging in, all yelling and talking over one another.
“Dude! Lae’zel just got dared to jump in the pool from the roof and she’s gonna do it!” You finally made out, and your face changed as you ran out with them to watch her.
Chaos resumed and your thoughts were no longer your own again, instead they belonged to the teenage relevancy of idiotic decisions and crazed actions. When you all returned inside, dry, save for Lae’zel, you kept up with the party once more.
But your eyes kept flickering back to the library, and then around the room. Gale had such an interesting aura about him, you couldn’t put a finger on it. Then, your mind wandered and you wondered if you could tell who your mystery dancer was, like Cinderella’s prince.
You tried to recall the details of the masked man, the way his eyes creased with your jokes, laughing like you were the best comedian there could be. The way his lips turned with his emotions, covering but not concealing what he was truly thinking.
“Dude, did you see Gale showed up? We all thought he’d be all up in Mystra by now!” One of your friends cackled, and you laughed slightly, but not really wholeheartedly this time.
“You know that’s not really that funny,” you stated, and the looks you got were borderline dangerous. It was like jumping into a pit of snakes and stepping on their tails- you had stepped into hazardous territory with your challenge.
“What?”
“I said it’s not funny.”
“Are you serious right now? Since when did you care about Gale? We joke about him all the time!” That struck a nerve. The guy had been nothing but nice to everyone and this is how he got treated? You almost felt sick. But why now? Why did it suddenly matter?
“Just- drop it, okay? Let’s have fun without screwing people over,” you waved their discussion off and moved to play beer pong with some people. The party began to dwindle, and you caught Gale in a group of some people looking like he was enjoying himself. At least he had that going for him.
Eventually, there were only a few people left in the room, and someone had the bright idea to play spin the bottle mixed with truth or dare.
“Alright, we need some ground rules here,” Jen said as she folded her legs neatly while she sat on the floor.
“Either truth or dare, or you kiss the person who spun you,” someone else said, and everyone seemed to agree on that.
Shots were handed out and, with newfound confidence, you and the small group were enjoying yourselves. Stupid pranks were being pulled, dumb secrets were being untold, and things were getting heated. Kind of, at least. Some people had gone home, which left you, Wyll, Lae’zel, Jenevelle, Karlach, Astarion, and Gale. Astarion was just kissing everyone whenever he didn’t like the dare, Karlach was full-throttle choosing dare every time, Jen only picked truth until someone forced her to pick dare, and between Wyll and Lae’zel you couldn’t tell who was more balanced in choices. Though, Lae’zel had less clothes on than anyone so perhaps her scales were tilted. Gale, he was the odd one. He’d stay away from choosing to kiss someone and hadn’t kissed anyone at all. You realized you hadn’t either, and the two of you kept going back between truths and dares so nobody forced you to do so.
“Gods, this is getting boring! Someone needs to make out.” Astarion yawned, draped over Karlach with his shirt tossed off to the side.
Wyll spun the empty bottle in the center of your group and it landed on you once it finally slowed to a stop. Within seconds, he got a bright idea in his head. There was no way you’d end up kissing him, not in a million years, and Astarion wanted action. What better way to do so than messing with you?
“Truth or dare, mate,” he grinned at you, and you sighed. You hadn’t picked dare in a while, so it was time.
“Dare. Give it to me good, jackass,” you smiled right back at him and watched in abject horror as his grin turned into a smirk.
“I dare you to do seven minutes in heaven with…”
He paused, looked at the crew of people left, and then met Gale’s shy gaze. “Gale.”
“What?” You both asked in unison, almost making the same face at him.
“Go on. Or you can kiss me, but, I don’t think you want to do that,” he smirked, and you cursed everything in him that made him that way.
“You’re an asshole.”
“There’s a bedroom right around the corner, might as well take that one,” he ushered you two up, and you both begrudgingly stood. “Your timer starts... Now!” He closed the door after walking you inside and locked it almost immediately.
“Look, we don’t have to-“
“It’s alright,” Gale interrupted you, waving a hand to dismiss your concern as he sat on the edge of the bed. “I’ll mess up my hair and shirt in a few moments and they’ll be none the wiser if you do the same.” He smiled, and you recognized the pain behind the eyes. Too bright to be looked at without burning, he sought nearly the same thing as you. “I’m only here as a joke anyway, right?” He chuckled sadly, shrugging. “You don’t have to make me feel like more of one.”
“That’s not—“
“I overheard you talking about me. Quite plenty of people forget that I, too, have ears. You all believe I’m imperiously deafened to the rumors you spread in the halls. I hear them all, you know. I know where they begin and I know the last person who’s been touched by them. There’s no stopping the wildfire that’s been set ablaze in my wake, the vicious jokes made in my name, the roughened edges I’ve created to save myself from it all. But please, I ask that you not twist the dagger any more than it’s already been plunged inside me.”
You blinked at him, not… exactly sure of what to say to that. As you decoded the poetic words in your mind, you understood his point clearer.
“I’m sorry, about all of that,” you began, sitting down beside him and messing with your hands. “I don’t really know why they—“
“You say it too.”
You cleared your throat and began again, “Why we… say all that stuff. It’s just bullshit to keep us entertained, I guess,” you shrugged, head low as you thought of all the people you indirectly hurt climbing your way to the top. How many others like him did you turn to gold with your Midas touch? Forever banning them to a life of solitude in your shadow, forcing them under your submission, and rarely quashing the arbitrary lies that were told under you? How many people had you turned into stone statues with your headdress of snakes? Those who claimed to identify as friends but ruined your peace in the process? Would you ever find out? Would you ever have the time to apologize for letting your kingdom go so cold as the heat of your infamy died down?
“It hurts, so you’re aware. Mystra.. she’s not what you all believe her to be. She’s quite the teacher, and she sees the potential that I have in her class,” Gale sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I just want to do right by people, whether or not I’m put in positions of power as a sick prank. I could have declined, but who else would take my place? Who would have stepped up and made the changes for all of you like I had? I fight for the good and get treated like the dirt beneath everyone’s feet.” He coughed and then shook his head. “I know it’s not just you. But I heard you tonight, so right now it’s about you and everyone else, too. I don’t mean to discard these feelings on you but…” he trailed off.
“I tried defending you. I don’t think you’re a bad person and you definitely haven’t gotten as much recognition as you should have,” you started, trying to find the words. “I didn’t… get to know you, and just made opinions based on stupid rumors. I’m sorry. About that.” You cleared your throat once more, and a quiet hush fell between the space that separated you. He didn’t owe you a thanks for your apologies over your hurtful actions, and he wasn’t about to offer one, either.
“You’re really… uh… what’s the word?”
“Eloquent?”
“Yeah, eloquent. I see it.. now,” you smiled over at him and then looked to the floor once more.
“Thanks,” he returned your grin, and then quiet fell into the bedroom once more.
“Three-minute warning!” You heard Wyll call from outside the door, and the two of you groaned in unison.
“You have a girlfriend?” You asked him, and he shook his head no. “Are you… not into girls?”
“What-“ his face flushed and he looked at you with wide eyes.
“Like, are you gay? I mean, it’s cool, there’s a shit ton of gay people at our school. I was just asking,” you shrugged.
“I… I’m not exactly..”
“Out of the closet?”
“Can you let the words come from my mouth before you finish my sentences?” He huffed, and you made the motion of locking your lips. “I do like women. But I also like men. And I like whatever is the in-between of it all,” he started again and then sighed. “To me, it’s more about connection and personality. I can have a romantic relationship with just about anyone, but it’s not because of their gender. It’s because of who they are as a person, do you understand?”
“Yeah, I get that,” you nodded, looking over at his shoes. A striking familiarity crossed in your mind, as you connected the shoes he was wearing to the man you’d danced with earlier in the night. You gazed up at his face, studying it intently.
“Do I have something on me?” He asked, wiping at his face.
“You’re him…” you replied, leaning closer toward him.
“What- who..?”
You gently grabbed his chin, turning his face towards your own as you studied the details of him. You couldn’t be mistaken, you’d recognize those eyes anywhere. You laughed slightly, brushing your thumb over his bottom lip.
“What…” You could see it in his eyes, he knew exactly what you meant. But could he dare indulge in it? In the idea of you?
“The one I danced with tonight, the other royal…” you hummed, smirking softly as you leaned back again. “You knew it was me, didn’t you?”
He stuttered in an attempt to find a lie, an excuse, but gave up after a moment of embarrassment. “Who couldn’t?” He replied, lowering his head in shame.
“You know—“
“Just kiss me.”
You blinked, glancing over at him. He made eye contact with you, strong and unwavering, and you raised a brow.
“Don’t lead me on to something I know is never going to happen. Don’t set your sights on me and leave me high and dry. It’s not fair for you to make me feel a certain way and then hang me on your line of people you’ve caught in the traps you unknowingly laid. Please, just get it over with bec-“
You grabbed his face, pressing your lips together hastily. Why? Did you just want to get this over with so you could each move on?
You didn’t know him as well as your friends, but this aching feeling came bursting through your chest. It desired to be let go, set free into the world. You needed him, your other half, to balance you out. Something in you knew this wasn’t just a one-off moment to save him the heartbreak, you knew you were now tied to one another whether you’d like it or not. But you could pretend to be “getting it over with” for the sake of this interaction.
His hand steadied himself on your shoulder, and you wrapped an arm around his waist. Swiftly, you pulled him into you and onto your lap, your other hand on the back of his head to keep him there. He made a small noise you could akin to satisfaction, and you laughed against his lips. Your head tilted to the side, leaning up into him as the kiss continued. Your hands moved down to his sides, grabbing his waist tightly.
He broke it off after a second, his breathing heavy as he looked down at you. His eyes screamed love and lust all in one, wrapped in a delicate bow, those soft eyes of his and the lingering smile tying it all together.
“You…”
“Hm?” You tilted your head at him, bringing his chin down to grab his attention. He focused entirely on you, eyes connected and unbreaking.
“You’re really good at that…” he laughed nervously, adjusting the way he sat in your lap. You felt him up against you, and a sly smirk found its way onto your face.
“Yeah? You think so?” You asked, pulling his hips forward, hands slipping around to his ass.
“I mean, I have a practiced tongue with what I read, but..”
“A practiced tongue?” You laughed at him, squeezing where you could as you threw your head back.
“Hey! Don’t laugh at me!” He whacked your chest, which only made you laugh more.
“What, you get practice rolling your r’s over those fancy words of yours?” You cackled, leaning up towards him once again.
“You’re so childish,” he tsk-ed, lowering his head down to you, your noses touching again.
“But you seem to be into it,” you claimed, raising the argument with him.
“This feels just… so high school,” he stated, and you tilted your head as to what that meant. He noted your confusion and continued, “Truth or dare, spin the bottle… you know how to ball, I know Aristotle…” he raised both eyebrows, hoping you understood the trope he was getting at.
You laughed again at his comment, shaking your head at him. “You’re so funny,”
“It’s true! Swear, scouts honor,” he leaned into you, brushing his lips against yours. Then, out of pure adrenaline, he said something he never would’ve imagined ever stating to anyone else. “I want you to touch me while your bros play Grand Theft Auto…”
You smirked at that, connecting your lips briefly. “You’re gonna have to stifle your sighs for that one,” you teased, kissing him again. He returned your kiss, allowing you to trace your lips down his neck.
“Times u-“ Wyll burst in, and then stared directly at both of you. You were rather unfazed by it, but Gale turned to stone in your arms. You continued kissing his neck, ignoring Wyll just… standing there. Hello? Say something!
“Fuck off, Wyll.”
“Yeah! Yep! I’m- ahuh!” Wyll turned back around and closed the door again, shell-shocked from what he perceived as a horror before him. Not that gay people scared him, but you were kissing Gale? He didn’t actually expect you two to be like that.
“Y/N-“ Gale pleaded, gently pushing at your shoulders.
“Hmm?” You switched sides, slipping your hands under his shirt and holding tight onto his waist.
“Please-“ He pushed again on your shoulders, and you got the hint. You pulled back and looked up at him, in awe of his beauty.
“This was really, really nice. But I don’t.. want to do this if it’s just to prove a point,” he slipped out of your hold and stood up, fixing his hair and his shirt.
“That’s not-“
“Again, spare me. Spare me from the horrors that will unfold from your pursuit of this. Whatever reason you might have, I don’t desire to be the object of any more jokes,” he cleared his throat, clearly holding back the pain he felt.
“Gale-“
“Please,” He begged, his voice quiet. He didn’t want to become a laughingstock if things went south.
“Okay, okay,” you put your hands up defensively. You stood, running a hand through your hair. He was about to leave, but you grabbed his hand before he could. “I don’t want to hurt you,” you paused, letting go of his hand as you looked down at him.
“But I do… want to get to know you. We can be friends, yeah?” You pulled out your phone from your pocket, holding it towards him to input his number. “Doesn’t have to be anything else. And I can probably get people to stop making rumors,” you offered, and Gale sighed at you.
“Are you going to marry, kiss, or kill me?” He asked quizzically as he inputted his number. What was that supposed to mean?
“It’s just a game-“
“But really,” he looked up at you, sighing once again. “I’m betting on all three for us two.” He handed your phone back, his hand slipping down to rub the edge of his shirt. He laughed a little bit at the idea of marriage. Gods, no. “No one’s ever had me, not like you. I don’t want things to go south if we head into things too strongly,” he pushed his hands into his pockets, all too aware of his anxious stimming. “I’d appreciate it if you’d get rid of the rumors. We can be friends, but that’s all I’d like for right now.”
“Can we make out every once in a while because I’m kinda getting the practiced tongue thing now-“ you joked, only to be met with Gale shoving you slightly.
“What did I just say, Prometheus?”
“Alright, alright. I get it.” You saved his number in your phone and then opened the door for him to leave. Skipping past everyone, you led Gale out to his car. “Uh.. who’s Prometheus? Asking for a friend, definitely not for me,”
“You don’t know who Prometheus is?” Gale stopped walking entirely to look at you with horror and hurt, a look worse than when he talked about the rumors. Jesus, this guy cared about literature more than anything.
“Is it an English club thing? I only ‘know how to ball’,” you recounted his former comment, laughing as he made a face of annoyance now, walking to his car without another word.
“Oh, come on! That was a funny sentence!” You followed him as he got into the driver’s seat, and you leaned against the window while he started the car. You knocked on the window, pouting at him softly.
He rolled the window down and you took the opportunity to reach in, open the door from the inside, and lean on the top of the car while keeping him from closing it again. “Don’t be mad at me, Dekarios,” you grinned at him, but that didn’t change the annoyance in his eyes.
“Is this how you treat all your friends?” He cocked an eyebrow at you, arms crossed tight over his chest now.
“Just the ones I really like…” you lowered yourself down towards his face, biting your bottom lip slightly. He pushed your face to the side, ignoring the temptation.
“I’d prefer if you liked me a little less, just for now,” he retorted, and you laughed at his joke wholeheartedly.
“I’ll try,” you nodded, hitting the top of the car as you stepped back and closed the door for him. “Get home safe, yeah? I’m going to send you my number.”
“I’ll try,” he copied, and you couldn’t help but want to kiss his pretty little face again and again and again and- okay, we get the idea.
As you watched him drive off, your heart felt a little less lonely. You weren’t technically dating, and it would take a goddamn long time before you’d get there, but you had a friend with hope for you. A not-so-more-than-friends, friend.
You entered back into the mansion with a stupid grin on your face that was instantly wiped away as you saw everyone staring at you.
“So, you made out with Gale, huh?”
“I actually fucking hate you guys,” you laughed as you rejoined the group, recounting the entire event that was getting to make out with Gale Dekarios.
Maybe it was the brink of a wrinkle in time, bittersweet endings, and brand new beginnings. You couldn’t tell what possessed you to be like that with him, and Gale wondered the same on his way home.
In a few years, where would you find yourselves? You hoped you’d be waking up to your poet wrapped in your arms, comfortable in the space you’d created together. But you were still in high school, and lots of things could change between now and then.
For now? You’d just be happy with what you had.
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belokhvostikova · 23 hours
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I've been going through your whole masterlist since yesterday and it's safe to say I'm obsessed! You're a fantastic writer <33
I have to say “Interrogations with the unconscious” is my favorite. It was a big ouchie, though... Do you think they did wind up back together (after some grovelling from Eddie 😉), or do they go back to no contact?
Ah, THANK YOU SO MUCH! <3 I love that my page is being ransacked!
And “Interrogations with the Unconscious,” are you kidding?! I feel like out of all my oneshots, that one is not my most popular, but it’s a dear little treasure of mine, I loved writing it! It was my birthday treat! :)
(Please know, if I ever write a story wear Eddie and Reader don’t get back together, I’ve been kidnapped and someone’s taken over my page!) Rockstar!Eddie, of course, grovels to the depths of hell to get back with Reader- well, at least in my head, lol. It’s safe to say Eddie does, in fact, have a face that’s hard to say no to, as—much to their dismay—management would allow him to stay in Indianapolis longer than what was intended.
It was a win-win, those who previously bought tickets to the Indy show were able to attend a show, where Eddie actually stayed to perform, and Eddie got the gift of spending Christmas with you. Of course, it came with much reluctance on your part, but when Eddie promised to bring “the old man” with him, you couldn’t pass up a chance to spend Christmas with Wayne Munson!
He played quite the mediator, enjoying the snippy banter that played out between you and Eddie over the roast. And when needed, Wayne jumped in to take your side, and ensured Eddie was receiving all the playful insults. And maybe, just maybe, when Eddie needed help with kneading the cookie dough, a little spark buzzed within you two, as your fingers brushed to smooth out the mush of flour and eggs.
But, of course, the road called, and Eddie couldn’t spend time in Indy forever. Which is why he exuded the most effort to fly across the country to spend his off days in Indiana. For you? No. Totally not. It just so happened to be a coincidence that during this period one of the biggest playboys in Hollywood wasn’t photographed with any models/actresses, like he usually would be. Total coincidence, ha ha…
And maybe you notice how attentive he’s become, washing off that rockstar facade to showcase the old Eddie you once fell in love with. Something about being back in his home state that really brings him back down to Earth. So, perhaps, one day, Eddie suggests moving back to Indiana. And his team hates it. But what’s his team without Eddie Munson?!
So, yeah, a plot of land is purchased in Indiana- hey, funny enough, only a twenty minute drive from your townhouse, huh? And maybe it’s the close proximity that allows a friendship to bud between you and Eddie. I mean, it’s not like you can avoid him, he’s still in your friend group.
And let’s just say, one, I don’t know, drunken night, you’re feeling just a teensy bit horny. C’mon, you’re a grown woman with needs, happens to the best of us. And Eddie, well, Eddie can recognize that needy face from a mile away, so when he catches those round eyes across the room at the mixer Harrington was hosting, he jumped hurdles to ask if you were okay.
Of course, you weren’t okay! You knew that! He knew that!
And Eddie complied with every stern request from you that this was only a ONE. TIME. THING.
But is it ever really? No.
Nine months later, gossip articles are in a frenzy over the iceberg that’s been spotted on your ring finger.
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hikari-ni-naritai · 3 days
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Hey there, do you have any tips on being ace? I know it's not true, but I do feel broken somehow for not "getting" it.
I'm a little confused about what you're asking. Do you mean like, you're ace and you want to know how to handle being different from allosexual people? Yeah that's easy as hell.
1. Remember that sex fuckin sucks. Or at the very least is not the all-important ultimate goal that everyone makes it out to be. Isn't it weird to see everyone hyping up something that's just obviously not that great? It's like if you went into a forum thread called "best video game of all time" and everyone's loudly debating between one of the Call of Duty games. Like are you broken for preferring an obscure but heartfelt jrpg? Or is everyone else just fucking weird?
2. Really the thing you need to work on is like. Prioritizing yourself. You need to become your own biggest fan. Of course you're not broken for being less interested in sex. You're just judging yourself by society's standards and thinking you should fit in. But would that make you happy? Do you WANT to go through life getting horny every time a mildly attractive girl passes you in the street? It's okay to like, want to fit in with others, but at some point you have to realize that you are you, and fitting in will make you miserable if you're doing things you don't want to do.
3. Don't struggle against who you are! Sure there are behaviors you can change, like if you're very rude you can work to change that, but like things at the core of your being? That'll just make you depressed. Nobody would expect a lesbian to be happy if she was dating a guy to fulfill her role in society or whatever. It's only by accepting ourselves as we are that we can live happily. Instead of wishing you could be different, work on identifying who exactly you are and then embrace that. There's already a billion of everyone else. There's only one of you, yknow?
Obviously none of this is like EASY advice. The unfortunate truth about this sort of thing is that changing your way of thinking is hard and takes fuckin ages. But if you work at it consistently and shoot down those negative thoughts when you have them, over time you'll look back and say "damn, I really thought I was unhappy being ace? This shit rules actually". Good luck anon 💙💙
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iamleesi · 1 day
Text
THE HUNTERS & THE SOLDIER
Pairing: Avenger! Bucky Barnes x OC! Avenger Reader
Summary: You and Bucky think there’s something the brothers are hiding. You and Dean go to investigate and let’s just say you leave the scene feeling worse than before.
Warnings: Mention of a missing person, mention of an alcoholic, creepy stuff.
Other: English isn’t my first language so I apologize for eventual mistakes. -> 18+ !!
-> Masterlist
-> Part two ; Part four
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-> Investigation (03)
As the shrill sound of the alarm pierced silence of the morning, you groaned and reluctantly cracked open your eyes. God, if you were tired. You and Bucky had spent the whole previous night with Sam and Dean, talking about the case and getting to know each other a little better. It had been a bit awkward, though, because Bucky didn’t even try to look interested and you weren’t really the social butterfly either.
But those two? Dean was about as social as a dead snake and Sam… at least Sam tried. But it was kind of hard considering the evident fight the two brothers had going on, whatever the reason was.
Tossing aside the sheets, you swung your legs over the edge of the bed, your feet meeting the cold hardwood floor. The sunlight filtered through the curtains and you lazily rubbed your eyes and got up, walking towards the bathroom to take a quick shower.
You didn’t sleep much last night, as your mind kept reminding you of the case you were working on. You had dealt with Hydra-related missions before, but never like this. And for some reason, this time you felt a shiver run down your spine every time you thought about it.
You walked downstairs all refreshed, even if you wouldn’t be opposite to hop into bed once again, and the scent of coffee filled the rooms. You figured it must have been Bucky, since the spot on the couch where he slept on last night was empty. He had refused to sleep in the same bed as you and, honestly, you didn’t comply much. No reason to make the situation more awkward than it already was.
As you walked into the kitchen, your eyes immediately fell on Bucky who was engrossed in the files of the case spread out on the table.
You cleared your throat, breaking the silence as you sat down a few seats away from him. “Morning.”
Bucky glanced up, almost as if he didn’t even hear you walk in. But you know he did, he was just not acknowledging you. “Took you long enough.” He muttered.
You rolled your eyes as you poured yourself some coffee, frowning when you noticed some muffins on the table as well. “Who are those from?”
“I bought them this morning.” He grunted. “As a sweet husband buying breakfast for his wife.”
“Mrs Barnes appreciates.” You mocked him, as you didn’t think twice about eating one of those delicious muffins. You were starving without even realizing. “Anything new?” You asked, referring to the files.
“No.” He simply said. “But I think those two are hiding something.” He admitted, and that made you frown.
“Who? Sam and Dean?”
“Yeah.” He nodded, his eyes finding yours. “Don’t tell me you didn’t notice their behavior yesterday. They’re also related, Fury never sends siblings on a mission together since it could compromise the whole thing if feelings are involved.”
“I did notice, that’s why I called Fury.” You said. “He told me they’re good in what they do and that he had no other options.”
“Sounds weird.” He muttered.
“Very. But Fury knows what he’s doing, so… let’s just go with the flow.” You shrugged, biting the chocolate muffin. “Mrs Barnes would also love some pizza tonight.” You hinted, smirking at his annoyed expression.
“Eat that quickly because Dean is taking you on a trip today.” He rolled his eyes at you, getting up. “Should be here anytime now, I met him early this morning.”
“Uh?”
“He insisted on taking you to interrogate Cassandra’s family today, the nurse. See if you can find a lead or something.” He explained.
“Wasn’t I supposed to be the stay at home wife?” You raises a brown but didn’t complain. You could never complain if it meant trying to solve this case and go back home as soon as possible.
“Change of plans.”
“And you? What are you doing today?” You inquired. Knowing him, he’d never stay at home doing nothing.
“Sam’s gonna come over. There are a few files of missing people we need to look at.”
* * * *
You and Dean stood in front Cassandra’s parents’ house, both of you dressed formally for this. He gave you a fake badge that you had no idea how he got, but didn’t pry as it wasn’t the right time. He adjusted his tie, before turning to look at you. “Ready?” His voice was low, and he wanted to make sure you both were on the same page before starting.
Your nod was all he needed before he ran the bell, the sound was heard even from the outside.
It didn’t take long for someone to open the door, and soon enough it cracked open revealing Mrs Miller’s tear-streaked face. Her eyes were red-rimmed, her expression a mix of grief and suspicion.
“What do you want?” She snapped looking mostly at you rather than him, her voice full of bitterness.
Dean flashed his badge and the action reminded you to do the same, his expression remained stoic mirroring your own. “Mrs Miller, we’re the with the FBI. We need to ask you a few questions about your daughter.”
“Stepdaughter.” She clarified. The woman’s gaze flickered between the both of you, her demeanor was guarded which was rather suspicious. Or maybe it was just grief and she wanted to be left alone, you didn’t know. “I’ve already told the police everything I know. I don’t have time for this.”
You stepped forward as soon as you understood that she was about to close the door. “We understand this is a difficult time for you, Mrs Miller, but we’re here to know more about Cassandra. We want to bring her home.”
“Just…” The woman hesitated for a moment before reluctantly stepping aside, allowing you and Dean to walk inside. “Be quick.”
As you and him stepped over the threshold, you took your time to see your surrounding which weren’t exactly what you expected. Inside, the atmosphere was stagnant. You could see that all the windows in your sight were locked and dusty, which is something you didn’t notice from the outside.
At each step you took towards the living room, the flower beneath your weight cracked. The furniture was dusty, clearly untouched in a long, long time and the cobwebs hung from the ceiling - they almost occupied every angle of the house. The thing that really made you shiver were those pictures hanged on the walls.
The faces of Cassandra’s family starred back at you, their eyes seemed cold and lifeless. There was something off about the way they were arranged, but you couldn’t wrap your head around what it was.
You and Dean sat down onto the worn couch of the dusty living room, the tension could be cut with a knife. Mrs Miller hovered nearby, her movements seemed stiff and unnatural like a marionette being pulled by invisible strings.
On one side, you could understand. This woman had lost her only daughter just a few days ago - even if there were no proof she was dead, both you and Dean suspected it and maybe she thought so too.
Still, you knew something wasn’t quite right with the oldest woman.
Dean’s voice cut through the silence and the tense atmosphere as he began to ask questions about Cassandra’s whereabouts, his tone firm yet empathetic. “Can you tell us about Cassandra’s routine? Did she mention anything unusual happening to her the days before she went missing?” 
Mrs Miller shifted uncomfortably in her seat, her eyes flickering for the slightest moment towards the staircase. “She - she was always so independent. She didn’t have - she didn’t tell me much about her comings and goings.” Not once she met his eyes. Nor yours. “She - she had - she had an ex boyfriend I think.”
You saw it then. There was a guardedness in her response, as if she was scared to say the wrong thing and spill too much information.
“Can you think of anyone who wanted to harm Cassandra in anyway?” You inquired, your eyes fixed solely on her. “Maybe this ex boyfriend of hers?“
Mrs Miller’s gaze shifted nervously between you and the man at your side, but when you spoke up her eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that sent a chill down your spine. Nothing ever scared you, but this somehow felt almost supernatural. “Adam was - is - was - an alcoholic. Yes, yes he is an alcoholic.”
“Can you tell us more about their relationship?” You asked, trying to keep your tone neutral.
Mrs Miller’s lips tightened, her eyes staring into yours - she seemed to despise you. She looked at Dean normally, but whenever she turned to look at you it felt like she wanted to come for your neck. “Why do you want to know about - about Adam? What does he have to do with any of this - leave him alone! Please leave him alone!”
“Mrs Miller, we’re not accusing anyone. We just want to know more about Cassandra.” Dean said softly, trying to calm her down.
Her eyes widened, her breath coming in shallow gasps. “She - she was always so careful. Always looked over her shoulders - oh, he needs to eat, do you mind letting him eat?” She started to ramble incoherent words after wards, which left both you and Dean momentarily speechless. “He needs to eat now - it’s the voices. Always whispering - he needs to eat. Always - I need to feed him… where’s my husband? My husband, where’s my husband?”
“It’s best if we leave, Dean.” You whispered as Mrs Miller’s sanity became thinner by the second.
The look she gave you felt almost threatening, as if you had asked something way too personal. “No. He needs to eat.” She said sternly. “Everyone in this family loved her. Everyone. Everyone.” She started to nervously pinch her arm, and you wondered if perhaps you asked the wrong thing. “Everyone loved her.” She repeated again, as if it was a mantra.
Dean was about to say something when you all heard a sudden noise from upstairs, a sharp bang that reverberated through the quiet house. It happened once, then twice and then it transformed to something that you associated with someone scratching wood.
“We should take a look upstairs.” Dean said, keeping his voice slow and steady considering that woman seemed to be getting worse by the second.
In fact, without any of you two saying another word, her composure began to crack; her breathing became more ragged and erratic. Then, without you could comprehend what the fuck was going on, she erupted into a fit of hysterical laughter, the sound echoing off the walls likens sinister symphony.
Before you or Dean could react, Mrs Miller rose to her feet in an instant, her movements were frenetic and unpredictable. “You can’t help her! No one can!” Her laugh intensified if possible.
You wish to say you never assisted to something like this before, but you’d lie. Your composure in front of her meltdown was something that would leave people questioning whether you were sane yourself or not.
“Mrs Mil-”
The woman cut him off in an instant. “You need to leave! You can’t help her!” She yelled, her voice echoing through the house and the cracks on the walls.
From the corner of your eye, you saw Dean wanting to interviene but you were quick to grab his arm. “Dean.” You warned, your voice low as the woman started to throw things around. “Let’s go.”
With one last glance at the crazy woman before you, Dean nodded - to your surprise, he had that same look on your face. He didn’t seem fazed by what was happening which left you with a few questions. Together you made your way to the door with Mrs Miller hysterical screams echoing in your wars. 
You two stepped out of there closing the door behind you. Without a word you walked towards his car, but you suddenly stopped in your tracks - slowly, almost as if you felt someone watching you, you turned around again. Your eyes drifted to the upstairs window and your blood ran cold.
In the dim light, a shadowy figure loomed from behind the window; it’s form distorted and twisted. It seemed to sway ominously as if taunting you from the darkness. That thing stared back at you with those empty eyes - literally empty eyes, and your legs refused to move.
Dean followed your gaze, his jaw clenched. “It’s not my imagination, is it?” He muttered, his voice barely above a whisper.
“No.” You answered, your voice not louder than his.
You felt him grab your arm, and the next thing you knew is that he pulled you inside the car and drove away from the house - and you swore you were still feeling those empty eyes on you even when you were far away from it.
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hugs-and-stabbies · 10 months
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This week i've been trying to put myself on a schedule 🧎‍♂️ i'm a person that both really needs structure to be productive but also struggles to stick to structure if there's nothing enforcing it akjsdh so doing art full-time has been harder than i expected bc of it 😳 it's only been 2 days trying out this new schedule so it's definitely too early to tell. but if im able to stick to it, i'll finally be able to block in some time to do the art raffle 🎉
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novelconcepts · 4 months
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i don't make resolutions, but if i did
it would be to finish this fic
(and to be kind to myself for however long it takes to actually do so)
#i'm finishing it if it kills me#i know i've been writing this makeout scene for 3 weeks but baby that can't last forever#if we want to get deep and dark and serious for a second i do think a lot of my struggles to write lately have to do with engagement#and how incredibly low engagement has been on the last few things i've written#which like. is what it is. i'm not entitled to anybody's time or comments or kudos.#but when you write stuff you're proud of and it feels like it's barely getting read it's hard to keep momentum.#this isn't intended as a woe is me or whatever it's just kind of like. there. hovering.#happens enough times you start to wonder if it's you. am i just writing for the wrong fandom/ship?#(too bad if so. they're in my bones i'm writing for them and no one can stop me.)#but yeah. if you ever wonder if authors do care or notice about hits. comments. kudos. buddy i am here to tell you#not only do we care and FLOURISH we also notice when those things drop off and readers vanish#and it is a giant bummer. and sometimes makes us wildly paranoid about why that might have happened.#so if you liked a fic today--not even one of mine. just. anybody's. share it. comment on it.#kudos at the VERY least (cuz frankly kudos is there to be an 'i got to the end and this was nice' feature.#so when you get 500 hits and only like 30 kudos? it feels like 470 of those people hated your work)#anyway. that got out of hand. lil' too raw lil' too honest. happens when you let yourself ramble at 11:30 instead of sleeping#to sum: let your local fic writer know if they've made you happy#and as we go into 2024 i am swearing to myself that this fic (and probably several others) are getting finished#come hell. high water. or dishearteningly low engagement numbers.#(and then maybe we...actually work on something original. cuz why not. new year same old me but i'll do my best.)
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slashingdisneypasta · 6 months
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F/O Question!
What class would you F/O be in on the Titanic? Would they survive?
And because I know most of us will make excuses for our F/O's to survive--
How do they survive?
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chirpsythismorning · 7 months
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📝 💐 🛼 💔⏪️💭🧊🌄❤️‍🩹
Landslide by Fleetwood Mac
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previous ⏪︎ now playing ⏩ next back to playlist
#stranger things#bizarre love triangle playlist#el hopper#el’s pov#el is so fleetwood mac coded 😭#this one was hard to find a gif for bc I feel like this song fits a lot with her inner turmoil during her time at nina#brenner’s whole speech here about not being able to let go#‘youre regressing eleven’#all of this progress she had outside of the lab#a lot of that progress was tied to mike (or at least el thinks she owes a lot of that progress to mike)#i feel like she sees him as someone who saved her and bc of that she’s scared of letting go of (the idea of) their relationship#if mike isn't telling her he loves her... let alone showing it#what does that mean for her and all the progress she’s made?#so she tries her best to cling onto the idea of their relationship#even if it means lying about everything#but then how can she actually progress and become her own person if she’s ashamed of the truth?#and so yeah no duh she’s regressing#the lyrics sort of fit with her going on this journey all while her feelings are in the background guiding her#'can the child within my heart rise above?'#being able to grow while also mourning not having the childhood she deserved... can those two things co-exist?#'well i've been afraid of changing cuz' i've built my life around you'#'but time makes you bolder. even children get older. i'm getting older too.'#el isn't the same girl the boys found in the woods#she has grown so much since then#and yet at the same time she hasn't#bc she can't progress if she keeps holding onto this idea of what she has to be to be enough for mike#bc it's not about being enough for him#it's about being true to herself#4x05#gif
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sysig · 8 months
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Psyche, she was meant to be weird this whole time (Patreon)
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2018 “Cure” like: Lol you thought
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It really is hard to translate her design to paper! Even just trying to get her body type down and decided on was tough - is she a bean? Not exactly, but she’s not hourglass either, or exactly chubby or round, but not just a rectangle?? I don’t know how to describe her, and that’s completely discounting her face. I do remember that she’s both very short (a little bigger than your average teddy bear but not by much, so around 2′6″?? Maybe??) but also rather wide so her proportions are all weird
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The original look at her wide eyelash concept - still not sure :0 I imagine they’d be brightly coloured as well, probably hot pink or maybe a gradient of colours. She’s definitely meant to have some elements of eyestrain in her design
#Doodles#Original#Vaguely offputting if you prefer#It really is mostly the eyes#There's still not just one eye design I can settle on and be like ''Yup that's completely accurate''#I think it's just another one of those things that's gonna have to be ever-changing#At least that'd make her easy to draw in one sense haha - there's no real way to be completely accurate#So that means plenty of things are all equally inaccurate and valid lol#She'd probably have obnoxiously layered sparkles and shine-shapes and colours - Blingee sparkles as a base haha#Anyway - she does /actually/ have some trueisms of her designs:#Cure isn't her real name - 'cause she doesn't have one lol - and she's regularly very smiley and non-blushy#Which is a real shame for me 'cause y'all know how much I love drawing blush marks but she just doesn't!#She's meant to be just a little off-kilter - not in a danger way just a little freaky lol#Her character feels hard to describe lol - it's like agreed-upon antagonism? She's playing the villain and loving it#But she's also only playing the villain as much as anyone playing against her wants her to - she's only as strong an opponent as desired#So in a literal sense she's unbeatable but she only wants to play lol - once it's no longer fun she turns it off and steps back#She still likes being off-putting in a harmless way but her goal is never to hurt just to toy - I mean she literally is one lol#So yeah she's a weird one#Maybe someday I can put exactly what's been in my head all this time down to reality haha - doubt it! But I can keep trying :)
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pepprs · 1 year
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beaver gnawing on wood noises
#purrs#delete later#this is gonna be a bad / hard post and i’ll have to delete it. like it feels like in making it im invoking cosmic forces to show me karma or#idk like being an ingrate or whatever. but sometimes i find myself on social media rabbitholes looking at instagram pages of.. women who#like really genuinely appear to be good moms to their kids. and love them for who they are and don’t try to make them anything different.#and who celebrate their quirks and stuff. and even share interests with them at the bare minimum. and it just makes me want to sob. like the#knot in my throat. i shouldn’t do it bc i just hurt myself but it’s like. im so lucky i have a mom and that she provides for me. and i know#there are valid reasons for that being all she can do. but also why can’t she… idk.why can’t she ummm love me. or celebrate me. or find#magic in me. or at the very least accept my humanness and be open to me like giving her feedback on stuff. even tonight at this panel this o#one woman was like yeah my two daughters call me on stuff and im like you’re right. if i called my mom on stuff (and i do) she would give me#the silent treatment (and she has) or eviscerate me (and she has). and people in my work life and on here call me endearing and say all#these things. but it’s like none of it can fill up the absolute aching pulsing void that is… my mom. my mom!!!!! is just a person i live#with anr resent most of the time. who has hurt me so badly. and i could have had a mom who like. let me sing and didn’t mock me for it.#and who came in and said goodnight to me and my sister instead of leaving us to o ur own devices because we’re twins and we had each other.#and 14 years ago today was the day that fully cemented in that she could not be that kind of mom and would never be. and i know she tried so#hard and i know she has been hurt and is still hurting. but i just want to scream. like everyone deserves a mom who loves them for who they#are and shit. and how fucking unfair is it that.. like it sounds so selfish and entitled. b it how fucking unfair is it that i got a mom who#im afraid of and then there are people like fucking… m*lissa err*co and sh*ron wh*atley (those are just the famous ones) who by all#appearances seem to be like.. not only loving but open. seeing their children as human and magic all at once. instead of a war prize and a#symbol of their own hardships or whatever. like it’s just so fucking unfair. i hate that this is the way things are for me and that it will#never change and that if it ever does i have to be the one to change it or i have to heal from it and let go of it. like FUCK that! i want#love from my mom! FUCK the fact that she can’t give it to me!!! she has to!!!!!! but she won’t. idk. delete post <3#like so genuinely i should not be even typing these words bc god is gonna smite me now lol. but my heart is howling#and the shitty thing is i don’t think i’ll be able to be that kind of mom if i ever become one bc of how badly all of this has hurt me. and#bc of all that i don’t even think i want to become a mom anymore bc i don’t want to be the reason a child feels this way or grows up to.
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the-kipsabian · 8 months
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#feeling really weird in my body tonight so im going back to bed#idk just.. have had gender and identity issues today. its just. a lot#like being ngc and not out of the closet cause i dont wanna talk about it is so exhausting and im just. yeah#not to mention the whole aroace thing#just been thinking a lot today. idk. i know im not faking any of it but bringing it out to ppl is just. so much sometimes#i have two irl friends who know. one thats thankfully very careful about it around other friends cause he knows im not out yet#but its still exhausting. especially when the conversation goes on those rails while undermining specifically my identities#without these ppl knowing about it. and i dont wanna talk about it cause technically its irrelevant but like..#idk. im just afraid of being left alone. being called awkward and weird and faking it and that its just a phase and... yeah idk#idk where this is going im just complaining now. i would just like to exist as myself without having to explain shit#cause these are terms and things i would have to explain. oh whats an agender? then why do you still look feminine and not enby(???)#how do you know youre ace if youve never dated? or aro?? as if these things dont work the other way around#im just already tired of it but i feel like eventually i should break it out. these ppl are my friends. we have a trans person in this grou#and ppl understand him and his perspective. i guess part of that is the thing im afraid about tbh. that they think im following a trend#or an example. that i havent been dealing with this for at least like five or six years before they came out as enby and later trans to us#but.. idk. its just hard. these identities are so hit and miss with ppl and them understanding and being hurtful later on#aaaand now im crying. this is so stupid im going to bed good night#night is an absolute mess on main#(tho be clear tho ive known im ace for over half of my lifetime now. the five to six years was about being agender/enby. fyi)
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