#but yeah. he cared enough to treat her like a nanny in that moment. over two centuries before adam

[idliketobeatree]

you're going to laugh, but Crowley's silly voice saying "be good. and not just pretennndy good, but properly good!" has done more for me in terms of moral self-actualisation than over 8 years of catholic upbringing, hundreds of badly interpreted sermons, a steady stream of yearly advent retreats and one particularly adventurous church camp where the counselors judged the books we took for the trip. thank you demon boy for keeping that high ethical ground. grave robbing aside

[jenyifer]

If you want to skip the rambling skip to the see more for a treat of the first 3 paragraphs of part 2 of my Boston Ray fic

I have good news I’ve got the rough draft of the remaining 3 done. Bad news I need to rewatch only friends to make sure I have Ray in character. I worry because I jokingly say Oh yeah Ray is me. I get addicted to things easily. I lost someone important to me as a teen. I love music. I often am indecisive and can get angry say shit I don’t mean. I have the same 🪄zest for life. So I worry Ray not enough like actual Ray. Maybe I’m just projecting. I do write a lot of Boston. So… let’s…. Rewatch only friends and not watch the BostonNick bits…..

Only watch the Ray bits Jenny for the love of J-Hope and Off Jumpol

No I can’t help it look at them

Okay okay I’ll give you a little preview of part 2 so that I will have motivation to finish it quickly and not obsessively post about BostonNick. Although I might post about SandRay because i never did that while it was airing. Okay here’s the first paragraphs of part 2 of my BostonRay fic I’ll edit them down but whatever. You get a little taste 🙌🏻🙌🏻

Eight-year-old Boston found himself fixated on his flip phone, desperately waiting for a call that he knew deep down was unlikely to come. His mother had left him in the care of his father, choosing to travel instead because she claimed she "couldn't bear to stay here any longer." The absence of his mother weighed heavily on Boston's heart, prompting him to seek solace in her green room at the back of the house. Surrounded by the plants she used to photograph and take notes on, he had hoped to ask her about them, yearning for just a little more of her attention and affection. However, as the sixth consecutive day passed without a single call, Boston felt tears of disappointment threatening to escape his eyes. He couldn't help but feel weak, just as his father and Ter would often accuse him of being. They dismissed his emotions as childish, labelling him as someone who clung onto memories. Overwhelmed by a mix of frustration and sadness, Boston let out a yell and impulsively kicked over a large snake plant. In that moment, he didn't care that the shattered pot left his hands cut and bleeding, as he desperately tried to release his pent-up emotions.

Ter's exasperation quickly transformed into concern as he picked up the squirming child, his hands covered in blood. "Kid, I've told you countless times that there are punching bags for a reason. You have school, you know," Despite the frustration evident in his voice, Ter carefully carried Boston to the bathroom to tend to his wounds. As he bandaged the little boy's hands, he couldn't help but notice the blank expression that washed over Boston's face, a sign of the emotional turmoil he was experiencing. Over the years, Ter had developed a deep attachment to Boston, despite the teasing from others who referred to him as a nanny. In Ter's eyes, he saw himself more as a brother figure to the privileged child. With a gentle ruffle of Boston's hair, Ter tried to lighten the mood. "Today, I'll be in charge of you. What would you like to do after school? If your hands weren't hurt, I was thinking of taking you to a batting cage again."

Boston's immediate desire was clear - he longed for his mother. However, understanding that he couldn't fulfill that wish, he looked for a substitute to ease his loneliness. "I want to make a pillow fort with Ray," Boston declared, knowing that his friend could provide some comfort. He turned to Ter, his eyes fluttering and a hesitant smile forming on his face. "Ask Mae if he can stay over tonight, please?" Boston remembered how Ray had a way of charming others, and he hoped that Ter could make it happen. He yearned for the warmth and companionship that Ray's presence would bring, even if it couldn't completely fill the void left by his mother's absence.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Fell For You (Part 16) - Drowning

Summary: The reader’s night goes from bad to awful fast but thankfully Jensen shows up at the last second to stop things from getting any worse. But the guilt the reader feels over trying to end things with Jensen to protect him starts to become too much...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 5,600ish

Warnings: language, being drunk, minor violence, scary situations, angst, fighting, fluff, offscreen death of minor character, anxiety, panic attack, minor injury

A/N: This chapter is a whirlwind! Please enjoy and let me know what you think!

________

It was a close to an hour later and you were halfway through a bottle of bourbon, laying on the back porch of your mom’s house, staring at the rafters and debating finishing off the whole thing.

“Y/N?” you heard. Your skin crawled as you sat up, spotting your father at the other end of the wrap around. “Are you drunk?”

“This would be an appropriate time to tell you that yes, I am and I also have this,” you said, reaching behind your and picking up a hunting rifle. “I might be plastered but I think that’ll only improve my aim. I’ll be nice and shoot for your balls first.”

“You got so much wrong about me kid.”

You fired a shot near his feet and he held up his hands.

“Why don’t you go jump off a bridge or some shit,” you said.

“Y/N.”

You pulled the trigger as he took a step forward and he jumped when it hit the window nearby. You pulled again but it just clicked as he walked closer. 

“Your new momma never taught you that kind of rifle only has two shots, did she,” he said. You tried to stand but got way too dizzy and fell down. 

“Well I can still tear you apart with my teeth,” you said. 

“You’re drunk and judging by your face, very upset. What happened to that boy you were with? I didn’t see him when I looked around.”

“Touch me and that boy will rip your head off.”

“This doesn’t have to be a bad thing,” he said, stepping far too close for your liking. You swung the rifle at him but he caught it and kicked the bottle away before you could get at it. “All grown up. Probably enjoy it now.”

You crawled back as far as you could, eyes darting behind him when you saw movement. You barely caught the brown hair and green eyes before your father was face first on the porch. You tried to stand but he yanked on your ankle and pulled you down hard. It took a long time to peel open your eyes again, your father now at Jensen’s feet. Jensen pushed down on his back while he talked on the phone to someone and it didn’t take long to hear sirens in the distance.

“For the record,” said Jensen as he walked over to you and crouched down, his belt around your father’s wrists, “I didn’t believe you for a second. Oh and you’re a dumbass but you’re my dumbass. Forever. Got it?”

“I couldn’t…” you trailed off. He nodded and took off his flannel, wrapping it over your shoulders. “I knew he would do something and I couldn’t have him near the kids or know they exist. I couldn’t-”

“I know, honey,” he said. “But don’t you dare ever do anything like that again.”

You put your head down sniffled, dizzy still as he rubbed your back before going back to watching your dad.

It took an hour or so before you could go home and you were sober enough to stand on your own. 

“Can I ask why you made the executive decision that you did?” asked Jensen, holding your arm loosely as you got into his car to head back.

“Because I’m stupid,” you said dryly from the passenger seat as he turned on his SUV.

“I mean more so why didn’t you come to me if you were scared? Why make up a lie?”

“You did let me go. You must have believed me at least for a few seconds,” you said.

“No, I actually didn’t.”

“You let me go.”

He was quiet until you got close to the brewery, Jensen pulling off onto the plot of land he owned next to it. You leaned your head against the cold window and he turned off the engine.

“This whole, tired, don’t talk to me attitude right now? Been there. Lived it. I know it’s bullshit.”

“You let me leave so you did believe me so-” you said, Jensen pressing a finger to your lips. 

“I am certain of very few things and you are one of them. I let you go so I could figure out what scared you so badly you’d lie, to me. There’s only one thing I can think of so before you even had a foot out of that house, I was calling people and I got put on with Detective Finn who worked your case as a kid and I find out that dick for brains sack of shit just moved practically down the street from us. It does not take a genius to put the pieces together.”

“Fine! I did it in some stupid attempt to protect you,” you said. You glared at him and he shook his head. “What?”

“I’m not gonna get mad at you.” You put your head back on the window and stared out to the dark trees, sniffling some. “Why do you want me to be angry with you?”

“Uh because I didn’t forget to turn on the washing machine or leave on a light. I lied. I lied so big that-”

“You lied to protect your family from a monster. Do I wish you had told me? Yes. But I fuck up so much and you’ve never once been angry with me for making a mistake and I’ll never be angry with you for making one either. I know you want me to be angry with you, feel like you should be punished for what you imagine is hurting me. But you didn’t hurt me, Y/N. You didn’t and I know you get that because so many times you’ve been on the other side of this and I know you’ve never once thought, oh yeah Jensen’s a piece of shit, let him really have it. No. Just no. So I’m not getting mad at you and I don’t know what to fucking say to make you feel better like you always do me and I’m so sorry he got so close to hurting you again. But I’m really good at fighting monsters in this family. So please next time, I don’t care if you’re scared of the bug on the wall or you think someone’s outside the house or what it is. If you’re scared, tell me and I’ll do my best to make it go away, I promise.”

“What do you do when you want to hate yourself for being an idiot?” you asked quietly. You heard him shift in his seat and you shut your eyes, the sound of a door opening and then another. Strong arms wrapped around you and you buried your face in his chest.

“I try to treat myself as kindly as she does. She would never hate me and she hates when I’m in pain. I see it all over her face. So I try to cut myself some slack and ask myself if she would hate me and when I realize no, I’m forced to forgive myself and it normally takes a few hours but it works pretty good. A lot of hugs and cuddling don’t hurt either.”

“Thank you for stopping him.”

“Don’t.”

“Thank you. I owe you so, so much.”

“You don’t owe me a damn thing. We got each other’s backs and that’s all there is to it. I’m just sad I missed you trying to shoot his dick off.”

“How did you know where to find me?”

“Find my iPhone. Also I figured that was a good place to check,” he said. “I would have been here sooner if Jared didn’t drive like a tortoise over to the house to watch the kids.”

“I’m sorry I scared you...and you had to do that tonight.”

“Oh punching your father was a personal highlight for me. Trust me,” he said. He stroked your cheek and you turned into the touch, eyes squeezing shut. “You’re safe.”

“He’s going to get out on bail and-”

“And we have a very good lawyer. Oh, and I know the mayor so fuck his ass, he’s not getting bail.”

You buried your face once again and he put a finger under your chin, lifting it up.

“You’re still scared.”

“He’s gonna get arrested for what, trespassing? Attempted assault? I was drunk and shot at him. He can spin it. He can spin it and be out on the street like that.”

“I’m going to ask the lawyer to do something else, something that maybe can take care of that problem.”

“What?” 

“Once a piece of shit, always a piece of shit. He’s been gone for fifteen years. I have this bad feeling you weren’t the only one. Or even before that.”

“Or maybe he just hates me.”

“You don’t have to be scared. I’m gonna take care of it.”

“Jensen, I know you don’t have to worry about the money but it might still not be enough.”

“It’s enough,” he said. “Or else next time I’ll be the one with the rifle.”

“You would kill him?”

“Honestly? Yeah if it came to it. I wish people like him died in car crashes, not innocent ones. We have every right to protect ourselves and our family and I’m not letting him touch the kids or you ever.”

“I should probably say that’s bad but I don’t disagree.”

“Money works a lot. A real lot. Maybe he did something super bad and he can rot in prison forever.”

“Maybe,” you said, spotting a cruiser pull up nearby. 

“Stay here, sweetie,” he said. He walked over while the officer got out. He spoke to Jensen for a moment, Jensen’s face a bit blank when he turned around. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Your dad had a heart attack in the backseat,” said Jensen quietly. You cocked your head and he shook his. “Your father. In the police cruiser that was taking him for booking. He was just pronounced.”

“He died?”

“He was really overweight and didn’t look to be in the best health. He probably got his heart rate up too high and...the officer said he’d escort us home, stay outside the house for the night, calm our nerves.”

“He’s really dead?” you asked. You looked over at the officer and he came over, giving you a quick smile. “He really died?”

“Yes mam.”

“What...happens now?” you asked.

“We’ll file the report but you don’t necessarily need to press charges anymore. You’re next of kin as far as we’re aware so the body…” he trailed off when he looked at you. “We can talk about this with your lawyer.”

“Thanks,” said Jensen. “We’ll be on the road in a minute.” 

The officer climbed back in his cruiser, Jensen leaning against the doorframe. He tucked your hair behind your ear, letting out a deep breath.

“Y/N,” he said. He stroked your cheek, your head turning up. “What is it, honey?”

“I don’t feel bad at all. I’m actually happy. That kinda is freaking me out a little. You shouldn’t be happy someone died.”

“Most people you’re right, you shouldn’t. But there are exceptions. He tormented you. He harassed you. He came after our family. I’m gonna sleep just fine tonight knowing he’s never coming back in our lives.”

“Were you scared of him?” He ducked his head down and you took hold of his hand. “Jensen.”

“Put it this way, I’d protect my family by any means necessary. What scares me was what if I was five minutes later tonight. Ten minutes. My job is to protect you and especially from monsters like that.”

“I’m a big girl Jensen. You don’t have to protect me from anything.”

“Yes I do, just like if it were me in your shoes I know you’d have done the same exact thing. We protect each other. It’s not because I’m the guy or I’m stronger. You’re my family and that’s what we do.”

“Thank you for protecting me and forgiving me for being stupid earlier,” you said. He smiled and nodded.

“You’re my dumbass and I’m yours,” he said. “Want to go home now?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I really do.”

“He’s really gonna spend the night?” you asked half an hour later in bed, Jensen shutting the door after himself. “He knows there’s a cop outside, right?”

“What can I say, Jared...he thinks of you like a little sister,” he said. “I can’t blame him for being protective.”

“I’ll be right back,” you said. You climbed out of bed and went downstairs, the light dim aside from where Jared was reading on the couch, a blanket over his legs. He looked over the top of the book and set it down, sitting up.

“Everything alright?” he asked. You smiled and took a seat on the edge of the couch, pulling him into a hug. 

“Thanks for staying,” you said, a pair of large arms wrapped around your back. 

“Of course.”

“You do know there’s nobody to bother us now, right?”

“I know. Some peace of mind never hurt anybody though,” he said. “Go on back to your fiance. You guys had a rough night.”

“Yeah,” you said, closing your eyes. “Thanks.”

He kissed your temple and you returned to your room, Jensen pulling you under the covers. You let out a deep breath, turning into his side. 

“Here,” he said. He started to take off his bracelet but you shook your head.

“It’s yours, Jensen. I feel safe, I promise.”

“You’re tense still, honey.”

“Still working on that not being so angry at myself thing,” you said. He smiled and kissed you quickly, laying an arm over your waist. “I know what you said but I still want you to be pissed at me for lying.”

“You didn’t hurt me.”

“But-”

“You didn’t hurt me, Y/N and you know what? Sometimes, you’re gonna hurt me and I’m gonna hurt you. We’ll have bad days and get annoyed with one another. I’ll leave dishes in the sink and make a mess of the closet. You’ll chew with your mouth open and never fill up your car with gas until it’s too low. We’re not perfect. But even if we do hurt each other, we forgive each other because that’s what you do. We’re not always gonna like each other and what we do but we’ll always love each other. I don’t want to be mad at you. I want you to feel safe and know that I understand why you did what you did. I do. Please try to let it go, for me.”

“I am trying,” you said quietly. You shut your eyes and turned away, his arm over you pulling you back against his chest. “You’re normal. I can’t just stop hating myself like that.”

“You think I’m normal?” he chuckled. “Me?”

“Did you ever have to punch Dee’s psycho father? Did you ever have to talk about protecting her? Did she ever put your family in danger? Did she ever-”

“Y/N.”

“Go away,” you said, pushing his arm off of you. You moved over farther on your side of the bed, tucking your covers under your chin. The bed shifted and you tried to move again but his arm pulled you straight back to his chest, fingers dipping under your ribcage and holding you in place. 

“I might not have had to have done those things for her but I would have. For the record, you didn’t put anyone in danger. That fucking asshole did. It is not your fault he was an evil and vile person. All you did was try to protect us because you were scared and I know, I know you didn’t tell me because you’re so scared of that man and I don’t blame you. He made my skin crawl and I interacted with him for all of five minutes. Get it out of your system however you need to but you are stuck with me forever. There is nothing you could do to make me want you gone so get used to it.”

“You shouldn’t have to deal with this,” you breathed out. You pulled your sheets over your head, taking deep heaving breaths. “You have so much to worry about already. You shouldn’t have to…”

“Did you think I couldn’t handle the news?” he asked. “That your father was so close by?”

“I thought you’d hate me,” you whispered. He tugged down your sheets and you squeezed your eyes shut as he turned you around.

“Look at me.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Now you’re angry.”

“Look at me.” You forced them open, meeting a soft face and sad eyes. “Why would I ever hate you?”

“My shit’s supposed to stay in the past. You don’t…” you said, Jensen furrowing his brow. “See, you’re mad.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Your shit stays in the past.”

“It means you’ve had the world’s worst fucking year and you’re in such a good place now and you need to focus on you and not have my shit come in and fuck that up.”

“Do you think I can’t take care of you?” he asked.

“No of course not.”

“It sounds like you’re saying that you think you can’t have problems cause I can’t handle it.”

“Well at least I got what I wanted with you pissed,” you said, glaring up at him, tears welling in your eyes. You tried to push away but he held his arm around you. “Jensen, let me up.” You pushed again and he glared right back. “Stop it. Let me out of bed.” He only glared and you tore your eyes away from his face. 

“Do you think I’m weak?”

“No,” you said, keeping your head low.

“Then why-”

“Because you need a fucking break. I dealt with this shit years and years ago. I understand needing a fucking break and people need to take care of you, help you. You’re a different man than the one I met way back in January. You’re so happy and healthy and you have a different outlook on life again and that’s incredible. I’m so proud of you for that. But you’re just, just out of the woods and I’m not gonna be the one that sends you back in because of my fucking problems.”

“They’re our fucking problems,” he said. “Our problems. There’s no your problems or my problems anymore. It’s us together. Why do you think I’d hate you?”

“Jensen,” you said, pushing on his chest. “Stop.”

“Why?”

“I said stop!”

“Tell me.”

“Because I’m scared,” you said. He let his hold go lax and you sat up, getting out of bed. You walked over to the balcony door and rested your forehead against the cool glass. The bed creaked and you felt his presence behind you. 

“You’re scared of me.” You scrunched up your face and nodded. “Why?”

“Because if you realized how fucked up I am, you wouldn’t come near me with a ten foot pole. I’m not supposed to cause you problems. I’m supposed to fix them, be there for you.”

“But I can’t be there for you. You assume I’m just a dick where it’s only me and my shit that we can work on right?” he said.

“I didn’t say that.”

“Relationships go both ways, Y/N. I don’t expect you to take care of me for the rest of my life. You are allowed to need help too.”

“You don’t understand.”

“No, you don’t understand,” he said, grabbing your arm and spinning you around. He was frowning, his voice an octave higher if you didn’t know any better. “Do you honestly think I would have been angry at you if you told me about your father being in town? Do you?”

“I put the kids-”

“For the last time, you didn’t put anyone in danger,” he growled. “What is going on with you?”

“How many times do I have to say it, I’m not supposed to cause any problems!” you said.

“Yes you are! You, me, the kids. We’re all gonna have fucking problems sooner or later. Why do you think I’d hate you for telling me you had a problem, sweetheart?”

You fidgeted with the bottom of your shirt, looking past him.

“Something with your dad, isn’t it. Something got triggered in you after that phone call with the detective, didn’t it.”

“Call Ray. Tell him to come over,” you said quietly. He nodded and grabbed his phone, sending off a quick message before he was guiding you to sit on the bed.

“Honey,” he said when you pulled away from him. “Okay, no touching. Can I get you anything while we wait for Ray?”

“Probably should tell that cop that we’re expecting someone,” you said, rubbing your hands against your thighs. “Fuck, tell Ray it’s the help thing. He’ll understand.”

“Okay,” he said with a nod. You rubbed your legs harder and he stared at you. “Y/N.”

“I’m trying not to have a panic attack,” you grit out. “I haven’t had one since I was eight.”

Your head was turned and you felt his hands on your cheeks, Jensen forcing a smile. You stared for a long beat before you took a breath, his head nodding. 

“That feels better,” you said, your hands not rubbing so hard. You heard feet and the door open, glancing behind Jensen to catch Jared in the doorway. You could feel your heart rate pick up, Jared nodding.

“I get panic attacks too,” he said. You nodded and Jensen glanced over his shoulder. “I heard arguing.”

“Can you tell that cop outside Ray is coming by and to let him in?” said Jensen.

“Sure. Who’s Ray?” asked Jared.

“Her mom’s old boyfriend and foster dad. He was her therapist when she was little. Something’s not right,” said Jensen.

“I’ll send him up as soon as he gets here.”

You felt calmer by the time Ray was walking in fifteen minutes later in sweats and not much more. 

“Hey kiddo,” said Ray, giving you a quick hug before he squatted down in front of you. “Doing okay?”

You shook your head and shut your eyes, Jensen holding an arm around you. He explained what happened, Ray staying quiet. You eventually opened your eyes to stare at the floor, Ray standing and pulling over the bench from the end of the bed to sit on. 

“Y/N do you want Jensen to stay?” he asked. You nodded and he hummed. “Y/N.”

“Yes,” you said dryly. “Can I have some water?”

Jensen got up and retrieved a glass from the bathroom, the pair of them watching you chug half of it down before you sat it on the nightstand.

“Y/N, does Jensen know what triggered you?” he asked.

“Not specifically. Asking for help he figured out but not the reason,” you said, looking away. 

“Well on the bright side, you didn’t have a panic attack, you worked through it, you trusted Jensen to help you through it even if he didn’t know why and some of your coping skills helped you out quite a bit. But this is something Jensen needs to know. You’ll need help in a relationship and I know this is the big one but he needs to know so this never happens again,” said Ray. 

“What if he thinks I overreacted?” you said.

“I won’t, trust me,” said Jensen. “Secret’s safe with me.”

“Go on, Y/N,” said Ray. You took a deep breath and Jensen held your hand, stroking his thumb over the back.

“So you kinda figured out that me having a problem was the trigger and that I didn’t ask for your help earlier and kinda assumed a bad reaction if I did.”

“Yup and that’s all okay,” he said softly. 

“It wasn’t because of you that I assumed you’d have a bad reaction. It was something that happened to me that sort of...default my head to react and anticipate things in a certain way in that particular situation.”

“So if you have a problem and ask for help, you assume the person you’re asking for help from will not take it in a good way?” he asked.

“Yeah, basically. If it’s a really big problem and if I anticipate that the problem would upset the person I’m asking then my head assumes this bad thing will happen. In that case, it assumes the much better option is to not reveal the problem at all and handle it myself because then the bad thing won’t happen,” you said.

“The bad thing. It’s bad isn’t it,” he said. “Really bad.”

“Y/N, remember you can share without the graphics involved,” said Ray. You nodded and leaned your head back.

“When I was six I broke something of my dad’s. A mug. His favorite mug. I picked up the pieces but I knew it was his favorite so I didn’t throw it out. I asked him for help putting it back together,” you said. “The amount of rage he had over a broken mug...I never experienced such a horrible day in all eight years as that one.”

He didn’t say anything and you tucked your feet up, holding one up to him and showing the bottom. He stared at it and cocked his head, narrowing his eyes. It took him a moment but you saw when he noticed the small little scars. His eyes flickered back to yours and you nodded.

“He hurt me badly,” you said. “All day long.” He stared at you and you told him exactly the way the scars came to be, Jensen shuddering and closing his eyes. “It wasn’t a good day.”

“Fuck,” he said, standing up and rubbing his arm. “You were six?”

He shook his head and went to the balcony door, taking a deep breath.

“Jensen. You alright?” asked Ray.

“No,” he said, turning around, looking to you. “That many times?”

“One for every broken piece,” you said. He ran his hands over his face and shut his eyes. “The worst thing was just that it went on all day. It was long enough for me to interpret it as conditioning for a result of an event rather than just a bad memory from everything me and Ray worked out back in the day. It hasn’t been a trigger for me ever really but we knew it could be someday for a big life problem potentially. I’m guessing with it involving my dad, it kinda sent me into overdrive earlier.”

“Jensen,” said Ray, shooting you a quick glance. “Y/N’s okay. I’m actually quite impressed with her behavior. There was no hesitancy or waiver in her voice. I don’t feel as though this will likely be an issue ever again now that it’s out in the open and her father is gone.”

“You’re the closest thing to a father she’s ever had,” said Jensen, rubbing the back of his neck. “You know every horrible thing that’s happened to her and, and you just...all you did was throw him out of the country for fifteen years?”

“First off, the law was different back then and it was a lifetime ban. Second of all, buddy, violence isn’t always the answer to violence,” said Ray, getting to his feet.

“You should have adopted her.”

“She didn’t want me to.”

“You were the damn adult. She was the kid. Act like one,” said Jensen. “I mean fuck, you adopted two other kids only a few years later.”

“If I had adopted her you wouldn’t even know she fucking exists,” shot back Ray. “Her father still would have come back and this would have happened regardless.”

“You should have done what you needed to the second he popped up again when she was a teenager.”

“I did not strike you as a violent man but I do not like it.”

“She was almost assaulted by that man again tonight,” growled Jensen. “He tortured her and tormented her and he got barely any time at all for that. I would have-”

“Why’d you call the police then?” he asked. Jensen swallowed and Ray shrugged. “Why back at the farmhouse did you call the police? You could have killed him, called it self-defense and been done with it. Why?”

Jensen looked down and Ray sighed.

“The price for being a good person is making hard decisions, Jensen. Would I have loved to have rid the world of that son of a bitch the second I learned all about him? Oh you don’t know the half of it. I’m a trauma therapist, Jensen. Mostly for kids and teenagers. Do you know how much fucked up shit I’ve heard in my life? The world has so much ugliness in it. But it’s got good too and that’s why you called the police like you were supposed to and that’s why she loves you. She needs a good man, not a violent one. I’m not saying don’t think about protecting your family. But don’t act on it unless you don’t have a fucking choice, kid. Understand me?”

Jensen nodded and Ray cleared his throat.

“Say it.”

“Yes, sir,” said Jensen quietly.

“Ray, don’t get mad at him. He’s not used to this stuff,” you said. You stood and pulled Jensen back to the bed, Ray crossing his arms and nodding. “If I ever feel this happening again, what should I do?”

“You could work on reconditioning instead,” said Ray. “Work on saying I have a problem to Jensen and ask for help, even if there isn’t a problem. If Jensen responds positively or even neutrally and you two work at it maybe an hour or so a day for the next week or two, I don’t think you’ll ever have to be afraid of that trigger coming back. All of your triggers Y/N have involved your father. I know similarities can set you off but they’re small, manageable. You never have to worry about anyone hurting you ever again.”

“I know. I should have trusted my partner to have my back,” you said.

“I don’t blame you. I didn’t before and I definitely don’t now,” said Jensen. Ray smiled and pulled the bench back over to the bed. 

“Get some rest you two,” he said. 

“Ray?” you said after he gave you a hug. “Why didn’t you adopt me?”

“Honestly?” he asked. You nodded, Jensen preening his ears. “You reminded me so much of your mother and I was devastated when we lost her. I should have been the adult and done what was right but after seeing her in pain for years...I didn’t have it in me to take on a grieving teenager that would have been just as angry back at me. She already was so angry then, I would have put fuel on the flames. I didn’t have it in me to be strong anymore and that’s my mistake for not trying.”

“You can adopt adults,” said Jensen. You both looked at him and he smiled. “Adults can be adopted.”

“Not sure if…” trailed off Ray as you smiled at him. “Y/N, we’ve only just started talking again.”

“Maybe if that keeps going well...maybe things could...work out…” you said. “If you wanted.”

“Yeah, maybe we can do that,” he said with a smile. “It’s getting late. Put her to bed. Don’t be surprised if there’s a nightmare or two tonight.”

“Okay. Thank you,” said Jensen as Ray started to leave.

“Take care of her kid,” he said. Jensen nodded and you lay back in bed, the house growing quiet. 

“I’m so sorry,” said Jensen, his head lowering after a few moments. “I should have realized…”

“You did realize,” you said, sitting up. “Even when my head couldn’t come out and say I trust you and I know I’m acting a certain way because of what my dad put me through, you stayed calm and figured it out. You got nothing to be sorry for.”

“I’m sorry he hurt you. I got to pretend to be a cowboy and my dad read me stories when I was six. The worst thing I ever got was a few smacks but I know he regrets doing that,” he said. “Even then it was because I was acting out not…I just don’t understand why he would ever hurt you.”

“I stopped trying to understand him a long time ago,” you said, the door opening. You both turned, Arrow walking in with a pair of wet eyes. “You have a nightmare, sweetie?”

“I went…to the bathroom…” she said when you noticed her holding her wrist. Jensen hopped up and walked over, picking her up gently and setting her beside you. “I fell down off the step stool. It was wet.”

“Tell me what hurts,” he said.

“My hand,” she said. 

“Let daddy see,” you said. She moved her hand back and you both saw her wrist was swollen and bruised. Jensen swore under his breath and guided her hand back on it. “Okay, you hold it if it feels better that way, honey. Daddy, I think Arrow should go to urgent care.”

“Arrow, why don’t you go get your dolly and we’ll bring her with us. We might have to wait a minute,” he said. “Be careful okay? I’ll come get you in just a minute.”

“Mommy?” she asked, staring up at you. 

“Mommy’s really tired-” said Jensen when you stood up.

“Uncle Jared is staying over though, daddy. Go get your dolly and mommy and daddy will get dressed,” you said. She sniffled but climbed down okay, Jensen sighing when she left the room. “She wants me there and I want to be there. I’m going.”

“Alright but you’re going to try and get some sleep in the waiting room at least, please.”

“No promises.”

________

A/N: Read Part 17 here!

[alittlextrathatway]

So, I’ve changed tactics on a multichap I started and because of that, this intro to the first chapter is now defunct. Instead of letting it get dusty in my google docs I thought I would share the non-spoilery bits. Enjoy!

******

Severide knows why he’s up early. He has to be.

A day of fishing that starts late is a waste of time.

Boden can’t come to the bachelor party mostly as a result of the extremely thin professional and personal boundary he tries to maintain between himself and 51. Instead he offered to take the day off and go fishing with Kelly on his boat.

It’s a compromise Kelly can definitely live with.

What he didn’t expect when he woke up that morning was to find Sylvie Brett leaning against his kitchen island with a cup of coffee in her hands.

He stops and blinks tiredly at her. “What time is it?” He asks her.

“Five, why?” She says through a yawn.

“Just making sure I hadn’t missed my alarm. Last time you slept over no one saw you before lunchtime — and by you I mean you and Matt.”

She blushes but grins without shame. “I have somewhere to be today and Matt has shift so an early start it is.”

He walks around the island and gently hip checks her, playfully making room for himself in front of the coffee maker. “You’re off today too?”

She nods and bounces on her feet as a beaming smile spreads over her lips. In these moments, he remembers Sylvie when she was green and earnest, getting to know everyone at 51 for the very first time. She hasn’t changed too much, thank god. Not in any detrimental way at least. He’s watched from the sidelines for years as she became better and stronger — a leader the CFD could be proud of. He was in her orbit a lot in those early days but as life became busier that fell away and now that she’s dating Matt he finds himself growing close to her again.

He regrets ever letting them drift apart. He’s ashamed to say that he forgot how much fun she could be.

“I’m babysitting Amelia today,” she tells him. “Scott has a last minute all day work thing and his nanny is out of town so it’s Big Sister Sylvie to the rescue.”

“As opposed to every day Sylvie who never saves lives,” he teases dryly.

She rolls her eyes with a chuckle. “Right. Anyway, I still have to go back to my place and pack before I can hit the road.”

“Casey isn’t insisting on driving you?” Severide asks her with a knowing smirk. Every time Brett makes the trip out to Rockford, Matt makes sure to go with her. Casey would never admit it outloud, but Sylvie’s little sister has him wrapped around her tiny little finger. So does Sylvie Brett, but that’s beside the point at the moment.

She laughs lightly and shakes her head. “He tried, but I told him the house couldn’t afford to be missing both the PIC and the Captain at the last minute. Not with Boden no longer at 51 anyway. That seemed to convince him.”

“It would,” Kelly replies, laughing with her. “We’re all suckers for 51 and any of the people in it.”

There’s a shuffling sound from the other end of the room and they both look up just in time to see Matt walk into the living room.

“Are you leaving already?” He asks Sylvie as he joins them in the kitchen.

She nods and hands him her half finished coffee. “I need to be at Scott’s early so he can leave for work and I still have to pack.” Her arms go around his neck, she leans into his chest, and places a lingering kiss on his lips. “Don’t worry, I wasn’t going to leave without a proper goodbye. I promise.”

Matt’s arm circles her waist and pulls her flush against him, with their shared coffee in his free hand. “I’d hope not. We’d have to have a serious talk if you did.”

“You two are gross,” Severide declares with a teasing grimace. “Too new, too cute. Take it back to your room, Case.”

“You’re one to talk,” Matt fires back with a wide grin. “You and Kidd are equally disgusting.” He takes a sip of the coffee and then winces, turning to Sylvie with a mock accusatory glare. “How much sugar did you put in this?”

“Less than I normally do,” she replies, poking his side playfully. “Do you have something to say about it?”

Casey yelps and squirms away from her with a laugh. “No, babe. Not a single complaint. I’m fine with drinking mostly sugar and cream.”

Sylvie chuckles and pokes him again. “God, you’re a jerk.”

As much as Kelly teases them, he doesn’t actually find them disgusting. If he’s truthful, he’s ecstatic for Casey. And for Brett too. They’re two of the best people he knows and they’ve both had a lot of bad luck over the last few years. He’s relieved to see them happy and joyful. Casey may think he and Stella have a unique connection, but Casey and Brett have one too. One grown from friendship and mutual respect. It’s a stronger foundation than Severide had with Kidd when they started. He has a feeling his best friend has finally found his forever person and he anticipates things will move faster than either of them are willing to admit right now.

When Matt commits, he commits. It won’t take them long to take the next step. Whatever that looks like for them.

Sylvie takes her coffee back for another gulping sip and then sets it on the counter. “I should head out.”

Matt leans down to kiss her quickly and casually. “Be careful. Call me before you actually get on the road, yeah?”

“Of course,” she assures him as she runs a soft caress over his cheek. “I’ll call you when I leave for Rockford and when I get to Scott’s. I promise.” She grabs her duffle from where it sits by the door and slings the strap over her shoulder. “Have fun on your day off, Severide!”

“And you enjoy that little sister of yours!”

“You know I will!”

Matt walks her out of the loft with one hand on the small of her back and a besotted grin on his face. Severide chuckles softly and shakes his head.

As long as he’s known Matt, he’s never seen him so gone on anyone. He’s glad Casey and Brett worked it out. They deserve someone who reciprocates their feelings unconditionally.

******

Since Kelly and Sylvie are off, Matt offers to drive Stella to work in his truck. Carpooling saves her gas and mileage so she quickly agrees.

Severide is already gone by the time she wakes up. Fishing with Boden is serious business. She knows better than to keep him from it or delay him from leaving precisely when he means to.

On the way to the Firehouse, Matt’s phone rings from the phone mount on his dash. At the sight of Sylvie’s name he eagerly hits speaker.

“Hey,” he greets.

Stella grins at his chipper tone. It took them a while but she’s grateful her two best friends got their act together finally.

“Hey!”

“Stella’s with me. We’re on our way to work.”

“Oh! Hey, Stella!”

“Hey, Brett! How’s it going?”

“Good! Just stopping for a sugary treat before I hit the road.”

“Bear claw from The Doughnut Vault?” Matt asks knowingly.

“Of course! What else?”

He rolls his eyes with fond frustration. “That’s hardly breakfast.”

“I’ll make sure to eat some real food once I’m at Scott’s,” she promises. “I’m about to head that way now. Should be there in a couple of hours at most.”

“Good,” Matt agrees. “And don’t get so caught up in Mia that you forget to call me when you get there, okay?”

She laughs and the sound is bright. Brighter than anyone’s laugh should be before 8 in the morning, Stella thinks.

“I’ll do my absolute best not to forget. Believe me. I need to get on the road though so I should get off of here.”

“Okay, drive safe. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

“Bye, Brett! Give that baby a good squeeze for me!” Stella chimes in.

“I will! Have a safe shift, both of you.”

“I’ll try and keep the Captain in line but I make no promises. You know how he is.”

Sylvie laughs again but Stella can hear the genuine nerves underneath it. “I do know. Just make sure he stays in one piece.”

“Now that I think I can do.”

“Okay, okay, enough picking on me. Are you two done?” Matt asks with a dry laugh.

“For now,” Sylvie replies. “Call you when I get there. And then I’ll brag about how I’m getting all the baby cuddles and you’re not getting any of them.”

“Damn, Brett,” Stella says with a chuckle. “That’s cold!”

“I try to tell people how mean she is but no one will believe me,” Matt says, shaking his head and grinning playfully. “Take lots of pictures.”

“That’s a given. Talk to you later. I promise.”

“I’m holding you to that. If you don’t I’ll come looking for you. Don’t think I won’t,” Matt threatens, half seriously.

“Oh, I have no doubt you would. If only for the chance to be a baby hog. See you later!”

“Later,” Matt says just before she disconnects the call.

“You two sound sickeningly happy,” Stella observes, grinning widely.

“That’s what Severide said,” Matt replies with a chuckle. “And, you know what, I think we are. Sylvie is…well, she’s the best thing to happen to me in a very long time. So, if that means I’m disgustingly infatuated with her for the rest of my life then I’m okay with that.”

“It may be disgusting,” Stella concedes. “But it’s a good look for you. For her too. You both deserve someone who gives as much as you do. And there’s no one who gives more than you and Brett.”

Matt glances over at her as he parks his truck with a grateful expression. “Thank you, Kidd. I appreciate that.”

“Hey, I just call it like I see it.”

[chemist-ana]

Chapter 10- The Company Picnic— Sams POV

Book: The Nanny Affair

Characters: Sam, Ana Schuyler (MC), Robin, Mickey and Mason, Sofia, Mason Sr., Vivian,

Pairing: Sam Dalton (male) x Ana Schuyler (MC)

Rating: 18+

Content Warning: NSFW, Sexual Language, Adult Language, Sexual Situations

A/N This is a brand new series that I was inspired to write. I am going to go chapter by chapter in Sam Daltons POV. This story is completely inspired by Choices The Nanny Affair. I have used most of the dialogue from the actual story, anything written in BOLD was taken directly from the book and therefore is not my writing- credit to our good friends over at Pixelberry! All characters are credit to Pixelberry except for my OCs

Summary: When you let your guard down at the company picnic, will you be ambushed by friendly fire?

Word Count: 4740

Tag List: @txemrn @secretaryunpaid @lifeaskim @aussieez @pixie88 @thefrenchiemama @sfb123 @mainstreetreader @shewillreadyou @khoicesbyk @lady-calypso @choicesficwriterscreations @somersetmummy @melalicious8383

Robin stood there, his eyes flicking between Ana and I with a knowing look.

Fuck.

I run my hands through my hair, trying to gather my bearings.

“Robin, what are you doing here? And why is Sofia calling you?” Wait, why is Sofia calling him… I have my cell on me…

“She was looking for you. Do I even want to know what you two were up to?” His eyes narrow at me.

“We were just working!” Ana says breathlessly. Not exactly the perfect cover, Ana.

“You know you don’t actually work here, right Ana?” Robin crosses his arms and widens his stance, his frown deepening.

“Sam was showing me the prototypes. That count as work…” Her voice has grown quiet.

“We don’t need to explain ourselves to you, Robin. Did you finish the press release for the Milan breach?” My anger evident in my tone.

“I’ve been a little busy, but apparently I’m not the only one.”

Fucking drop it Rob.

“Enough. If you have something to say, say it. If not, then get back to work.” My eyes narrow at him in challenge. I watch as he turns on his heel to leave the lab, pausing briefly at the door and looking over his shoulder.

“I almost forgot. Sofia had a message for you, Ana. She said since you were doing this office tour today, you should come to the company picnic this weekend.”

“Really? I thought she wanted me fired.” Her eyes grow wide as she looks between Robin and I.

“It’s probably a ‘keep your enemies closer’ type of thing. She already told Mom and Dad about the invite, so they’re expecting you to be there.”

I clench my jaw, fighting back my ever increasing desire to punch that look off of his face. God I have been wanting to do that to him a lot recently... I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose when I hear the door close to the lab, leaving Ana and I alone again.

The silence is palpable as I look at her, she is looking down as her fingers twist together.

“Ana, are you okay?”

“Sam, we have to be more careful. We’re lucky Robin was the one who walked in on us. It could’ve been much worse.” Her voice quiet as she continues to watch her hands.

“You’re right. It won’t happen again.” I don’t know how lucky we are that it was Robin… “You don’t have to come to the picnic, you know.”

Her emerald eyes lift to mine as she studies my face for a moment.

“If you… think it’s best I don’t-“ She takes a step away from me, looking back down at her hands. I reach out and gently place my hand on her arm.

“That’s not what I meant. I want you there. Against my better instincts… I always want you wherever I am.” Close to me.

Those words get her attention as she slowly rises her eyes to mine. I hear her breath catch and it sends a reminder of the passion that we just shared only moments before.

“Okay then, I’ll be there.” She gives me a small smile.

I return her smile as our eyes linger for a moment before my mind wanders to a less important question... Why was Sofia on the phone with Robin? I reach into my pocket and check my phone, no missed calls or texts. Weird…

I spend the rest of the day thinking of Ana, spread out before me on the lab table, the sound of pleasure that escaped her lips, and the sweet taste of her arousal on mine.

***

I wake up early the next morning, as I walk quietly into the kitchen, I pause outside of the door to Ana’s room. God how I want to just bring you into my bed and get lost in you… I shake my head, fuck these thoughts need to disappear… I need to escape while everyone is still asleep. I write a quick note and leave it on the counter- Went into the office early- will be home early to take the boys out for a treat. -Sam. Good enough.

I run my hands through my hair as I ride the elevator down to the lobby, Carter is waiting at the curb, always ready.

When I enter into my office the sun is just breaking above the skyline. The building is eerily quiet as I sit down in my chair, turning my attention to the waking of the city as the sunlight casts its morning shadows.

Suddenly I hear the door to my office open.

“How did I know you would be here already?” I close my eyes. Robin.

I hear him sit down in the leather chair on the other side of my desk and I turn my chair to face him, a smug look on his face.

“Sammy, what in the actual fuck is going on with you and Ana?”

I take a sharp inhale, “First of all, there is nothing going on between us. Second of all, even if there was, it would be none of your fucking business.”

“You are really going to lie to me? What I walked in on yesterday didn’t look like ‘nothing’.”

“Yeah, well, you know what happens when people make assumptions.”

“Sam, I thought by now you would understand that there are consequences to your actions.”

“Robin, save the kingly speech for someone who gives a damn. There is nothing going on between us.”

“You’re going to hurt her, and when all the chips fall, she is going to have nothing, and you are still going to have everything.”

I stare at him for a moment, biting the inside of my cheek.

“Why were you on the phone with Sofia?”

“I told you Sam, she was trying to find you.” He points a finger at me, before he shakes his head and stands up. “You better figure your shit out.”

Without another word he turns around and strides out of my office.

It’s going to be a long day.

***

I bring a glass of water to my lips for a sip as I type out a few quick texts, and alert Carter to be ready with the car in five minutes. Now where are the boys?

I make my way down the hall, and knock softly on Ana’s partially open door.

“Ana, have you seen the boys-“

“Dad, look! Ana’s wearing the outfit we picked out!” Mason pushes the glasses up his nose with a smile.

“Oh, wow. You look… nice.” My eyes flash as they run down the exposed skin of her delicate neck and her long legs. I swallow down a surge of desire.

“Just nice?” She asks with a coy smile.

I glance over at the twins who are now lost in a conversation between themselves before I lean in and the smell of jasmine fills my senses.

“Definitely not ‘just nice’, but I’m trying to be good.” My eyes flick to the twins.

“I think I like you better when you let yourself be bad.” Her emerald eyes darken and a memory flashes in my mind of the soft whimpers that escape her lips when I touch her.

I clear my throat, breaking myself of my trance as I stand up and look to the twins.

“Right. Is everyone ready to go in here?”

“I am!” Mason cheers running out of the door.

“Wait, I forgot my socks!” Mickey calls as he follows close behind.

My eyes linger on Ana before I reluctantly turn away.

***

Ana and I walk side by side down the large path in Central Park, the boys follow close behind.

“What’s the problem, you two? You don’t like picnics?” We stop and turn towards the boys who are kicking at the rocks on the pavement.

“Normal picnics, yeah. But who knows what Aunt Sofia has done to this one?” Mickey whines as he drags his feet.

“Boys, I promise you, Aunt Sofia didn’t have any part in planning this picnic.” I fight back the urge to laugh.

“But, we still have to follow her rules, don’t we?” Mason looks at Ana with a pleading look.

“You can still have fun too.” She gives him an encouraging smile. “Besides, there’ll be so much going on, I bet she won’t even notice if you sneak an ice cream cone. Assuming your dad says it’s okay, of course.”

“Really?” Mickey breaks out into a big grin.

“Sure. But just the one treat. We don’t want you to get a sugar overload.”

That seems to get them moving, because they run ahead. Ana and I share a look before we continue walking.

“It’s beautiful… I can see our building from here!” Mason shouts as we round the corner and the field comes into view.

My eyes meet Sofia’s as she starts walking towards us.

“Sam, you’ve got to see this. It’s accounting versus legal on the badminton court!” Her eyes are bright, you are unusually cheery today. Than her gaze falls on Ana, and I see a flash of something in her eyes, but it’s gone before I can tell what it is.

“Well, don’t you look adorable. You always know how to turn it on when it matters most, don’t you?” I resist the urge to close my eyes and sigh. Adorable, really Sofia?

“I try.” Ana gives her a confident smile.

“Can you also try to keep the boys from getting too dirty or being too loud or eating any sugar or running near the adults? Sam and I will be right back.” Sofia grabs my arm and leads me towards the badminton courts. I glance back at Ana who is herding the boys in the opposite direction.

“I am glad she decided to come today.” Sofia squeezes my arm. “Robin mentioned she had some hesitation.” My stomach sinks as I think about Robin… did he say anything to her?

“Yeah, so legal vs accounting huh?” I say effectively changing the topic.

***

After laughing a little too hard watching the accounting team get slaughtered by legal, I hear my dad’s voice calling over a megaphone.

“Welcome to the Annual Dalton Enterprises Company Picnic! I hope you’re ready for some good old-fashioned fun! We’ve got everything from giant Jenga to croquet to kickball.. But the highlight of the afternoon will be starting in five minutes… tug-of-war!” I hear a few good natured cheers and my eyes scan the field for Ana.

I see her talking to Robin, her brow furrowed.

“It’s Complex A versus Complex B! If you’re not an employee, pick a side.” My dad drops the megaphone and my eyes are still locked on Ana and Robin as I make my way across the field.

I don’t realize Sofia is behind me until I walk up on Ana and Robin and she is the first one to speak.

“Are you sitting out too, Ana? This game is so filthy and juvenile, I always sunbathe through it.” Sofia looks down at her manicured fingers and walks to the sidelines.

“Ana! You have to be on our team!” Mason shouts as him and Mason jog up to us.

“Yeah! Together we’ll be unstoppable!” Mickey chimes in as he gives Ana a smile. Ana’s eyes look between the boys then rise up to mine.

“We could use the extra hands…” I tell her.

“If Ana doesn’t want to play, she doesn’t have to play.” Robin’s eyes narrow at me.

I bite the urge to call Robin a petulant child.

“I can’t resist a good competition. I’m in!” She flashes a cocky smile at Robin.

“Yeah! Suck it, Uncle Robin!” Mickey jumps in the air and sticks his tongue out at Robin.

“Mickey…”

“I mean… you’re going down?” His eyes widen.

“We’ll see, kiddo.” Robins eyes soften as he looks down at Mickey, but harden immediately when he looks back at me. “At least we don’t have any distractions on our team.”

“Bring it on.” Ana turns on her heel and we walk towards our side of the rope.

We huddle together with the rest of the people on our team.

“First thing’s first, we need a team name!” Mason takes charge. That’s my boy.

“What about winners?” Ana says.

“Yeah, go winners!” Mason and the rest of the team cheers.

“Enough conferring! It’s time to play!” My dad’s voice booms over the megaphone.

We all line up as my mother explains the rules.

“Boys up front. Ana, you can stand by me.” I give Ana a smile as she stands directly in front of me.

I see Robin glaring daggers at Ana from the opposite side of the rope. My eyes dart back to Ana as I catch her sticking her tongue out at him. What were those two talking about earlier?

“Is that your method of long-distance trash talk?”

“It’s working, isn’t it? Robin’s head isn’t in the game, which means we’ve got this in the bag.” She gives me a confident smile.

“Let’s put that theory to theory to the test.” I give her a smile before she turns around, wrapping her hands around the rope.

My dad starts the pulling match and I lean back, digging in with my heels as the rope goes taught.

“You’’ll have to do better than that!” Ana shouts. You’re a competitive little thing aren’t you.

The boys are urging everyone to pull. I wrap my fingers tighter around the rope and heave and it seems to work, because the other side starts to give.

“That’s it, winners! We’ve got ‘em on the ropes!” I shout.

My eyes are locked on the muscles that are tense on Ana’s back.

“Almost… there!” Her voice rings out.

“We can’t… let them win… look at them!” Robin’s face is angry as he pulls. “Though I guess Ana does have some experience playing dirty.”

My eyes fly to Robin, but his gaze is focused on Ana. She ignores him and continues to pull, until we pull the marker onto our side. The momentum of her pulling causes her to stagger back… and right into my arms.

The smell of jasmine and Ana rush my senses as I squeeze my arms tightly around her, to steady her or hold her close I don’t know anymore. She looks over her shoulder and her emerald eyes meet mine, and for a moment the world fades away.

“…Hi.” A blush creeps up her neck as our eyes linger.

“Hi.” I smile.

Her eyes dart down to my lips as she takes her bottom lip between her teeth, her eyes growing dark. I slide my tongue across my lip and I feel her body tense.

“Sam…” She whispers and the sound sends a shockwave through my body.

“Ana, I-“ Fuck, you are in public, and Sofia is here.

“And the winner is- Team Winners!” My dad’s voice booming over the megaphone breaks me from my trance.

“We did it!” Mason and Mickey jump around excitedly. I drop my arms from Ana just in time for Mason and Mickey to tackle me in a hug. My eyes never leave Ana as they wrap their arms around me.

“You did it, boys!” I finally break my gaze to ruffle the twins hair as they cheer.

“We did it, Dad!” Mason looks up at me with a grin.

“Yeah, we couldn’t have beat Uncle Robin without you and Ana!” Mickey looks over to Ana.

“And we couldn’t have done it without you two.” She reaches out and ruffles Mickey’s hair.

God, this just feels so right.

“That’s one way to put it.” Robin. Moment fucking broken.

My eyes fly up to Robin’s who has his eyes narrowed at Ana. I am about to snap when my mother walks up besides us.

“Nobody like a sore loser, Robin. Be a good example for your nephews.”

“Samuel, my big, strong man! I’ve got a wet wipe and a fresh shirt with your name on it.” Sofia walks up and wraps an arm through mine, and pulls me away from the group. I look down at her as she leads towards a tent, her eyes focused.

***

I stand silently next to my father as we watch everyone start to leave.

“I would call that a success.” He glances over at me.

“I would say so. You and mom should go, let me handle the clean up.” I clap him on the back as my mother walks up to us.

“Are you ready to go Mason, dear?”

“Yes, Viv.” He extends his arm for her to take before turning to me one last time. “Well done today, Sam.”

“Bye, Samuel.” My mother brushes a kiss to my cheek before I watch her and my father walk towards the edge of the park.

With a sigh I grab a few trash bags and begin walking around, picking up loose plates. My eyes fall on Ana and the boys and I make my way over to them.

“I’ll take those.” I hold open the trash bag for Ana and the boys to drop their used plates and napkins in. Ana and I fall into step next to each other as we follow the boys to the edge of the park.

“So, did you have a good time today?” I glance down at her and the sun has left a beautiful glow on her olive skin.

“Well, I missed you.” She says softly, turning her beautiful face towards mine. “I feel like I barely got to see you all day after tug-of-war. But this moment right here, with you? It’s been the best part of my day.”

“The party planning committee will be disappointed to hear it… but it’s my favorite too.” I chuckle, my eyes lingering on hers as I watch the sun reflect off of the little specs of gold amongst the emerald green.

As we round the corner I see Carter waiting at the curb, Robin and Sofia already there besides the car. Why are they always together…?

“Looks like the ride home will be a little crowded tonight.” Ana murmurs.

“Good thing I can get out of it for once, I always stay behind and help the cleaning crew after the picnic. It’s the least I can do to show my appreciation for everything.” I look down at her as our arms brush.

“No ones too good to clean up their own mess, right Dad?” Mason asks as he kicks a rock on the pavement.

“That’s exactly right, little man.” Damn proud.

“But we don’t have to stay… right?” Mickey’s eyes grow wide.

“Not until you’re a little older.” I smile at the look of relief on his face.

The boys climb into the car and I catch Sofia’s eye.

“Yes, honey, very inspiring. See you at home.” She leans in and brushes a kiss against my cheek then follows the boys into the car.

“Ana, are you coming?” Robin asks as his eyes scan Ana’s body.

Ana looks up at me with a question in her eyes.

“You’re welcome to stay and help, if you want. It won’t take long between us and the crew. We usually divide and conquer to cover more ground.” Please stay…

“Sounds like a great way to help out this afternoon.” She meets my eyes with a warm smile, her eyes not hiding her true intentions.

“Sure. Just… remember what I said.” Robin regards Ana with a firm look, before shifting his focus to me, and finally climbing into the backseat of the car.

Ana and I turn around and head back to the picnic area, our arms brushing lightly as we walk in a companionable silence.

“Have you ever been to a big picnic like this before?” The breeze blows through her hair as she looks up at me.

“I have never been to one before. Neither of my parents ever had a company picnic, so this was a first.”

“And? What’s the verdict?”

“I’ll let you know when I have one.” She gives me a coy smile before turning her attention back to the park.

I hand her a trash bag and she begins picking up stacks of paper plates.

“I bet you’ve been to a million of these over the years.”

“You could say that. I was still a kid when we held the first one, but it looked nothing like this. We could practically all fit on one blanket back then.” I smile at the fond memories… we have come a long way since then.

“It’s hard to imagine the company being that small.”

“Yeah, we’ve definitely grown a lot since then. But as much as I sometimes miss how… simple things were back then, we also couldn’t make as big of a difference. We can help so many more people now that we’re bigger.”

“I bet that feels good.”

“It does. And it definitely makes the hard days a little easier.”

“Speaking of, I can’t believe you’re not soaking in a bubble bath right now. You were at the center of all of the activity today.” She glances at me. I want to be in a bubble bath with you.

We bend down to pick up a red solo cup at the same time, our fingers brushing, and a blush spreading across her cheeks as her eyes snap away from mine.

“Sorry.” She says quickly.

“No worries.” I smile at her, but I can sense a change in her mood. “I am pretty tired, but it’s a Dalton family tradition to stay behind with the workers and, well, work. My father always stayed behind, but now that he’s older, the mantle falls on me.”

“You know, Robin mentioned one time that he’s also being considered for CEO… but I can’t really picture him staying behind, even if it’s part of the job description.” What else has Robin told you about my family? Yeah, well, if there is anything I know about Robin is that he does the bare minimum.

“Yeah, well, he probably wouldn’t have to, even if he were CEO. My dad has always held Robin to different standards than me. But at this point, that would only happen if I really, really, messed up.”

She glances around and when I follow her eyes, I realize we are all alone on this side of the park.

“Taking responsibility has never been Robin’s strong suit. Great at making messes though.” I flash her a smile but she seems to be avoiding my gaze. “You’re being awfully quiet over there.”

“Hmm? Oh, I just… have a lot on my mind.” She replies without looking at me. There is definitely something wrong… and fuck I hope it doesn’t have to do with Robin. “Actually, Sam… there’s something I wanted to talk to you about…” Her lips turn down in a frown. Definitely Robin.

“What did Robin do now?”

“Earlier today, he pulled me aside and demanded that I leave you alone…” I stare into her eyes, trying to read the expression on her face.

“What did you say?” Please tell me you didn’t tell him anything…

“I told him I didn’t know what he was talking about… but I don’t think he believed me.”

I let out a deep breath and reach up to rub the knots in my neck. Fuck…

“I’m so sorry I’ve put you in this position, Ana. You shouldn’t have to deal with my brother confronting you like this.” What are you doing to her?

I reach out and cup her cheek and I can see the pain in her eyes.

“Robin seemed pretty sure that at the en dog all of this… I would be the one who ends up hurt.” Fuck Robin, stay out of my business.

“As much as I hate to say it- and as much as I will do everything in my power to prevent it- he’s probably right.” I cringe as the words come out of my mouth. “But Ana, my parents’ expectations, the company politics, Sofia… it all just fades away when I look at you.”

“Sam…” My name rolls off her lips in a whisper.

In that instant, the sprinklers turn on, sending a jetting stream of water onto both of us.

She cries out and leans into me as I wrap my arms around her, trying my best to shield her from the water.

“Okay, seriously, who sets their sprinklers to go off in the middle of the afternoon.” I laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation, even though I can’t complain having Ana in my arms.

“Someone who got AM and PM mixed up?” She laughs and the sound brings an even bigger smile to my face.

I lean away from her slightly, my eyes roaming her face as I smooth the hair from her face. She is so beautiful…

“You look beautiful like this… I’ve never seen you wet before.”

“You don’t know that.”

Her words send a shockwave to my cock. I definitely didn’t mean it like that, but fuck am I glad you did.

“That’s not fair. Now that’s all I can think about…” You, wet, in my arms, in our home, in the car… fuck…

“Sam, now you know how I feel.”

“Does this mean you think about me all the time? At night, in bed, alone…?” My voice has dropped to a husky whisper as images of her on her back, naked, and moaning fill my head.

“Yes… touching myself, thinking of you, wondering if you’re turned on because of me.” The huskiness of her voice matches mine as her eyes wander my face and linger on my lips.

Holy fuck, you naughty little thing.

“Always…” I tighten my grip on her waste as her breath catches in her throat.

“Sam… kiss me.”

I was hoping you would say that.

I lean down and capture her perfect pink lips in mine, my hands roam her every curve, trying my hardest to memorize the twists and turns. Our kiss grows in passion as she lets out a moan into my mouth.

I grab her hips, pulling her against my growing desire.

“Ana… what are you doing to me?” I whisper against her mouth… I have never been so out of control in my life as I am when I am around you…

I drop my lips to her jaw, trailing light kisses up to her ear, the smell of Ana, sunshine and jasmine, fills my senses as I taste her sweet skin.

“I can’t seem to control myself around you…” I whisper into her ear.

“Maybe I want you to lose control…” She whispers, her lips lightly grazing mine.

She tangles her fingers into my hair and drags my lips back to hers. I want to lose control with you… My fingers continue their exploration as I graze my fingers over her erect nipples through her shirt, god this wet shirt is doing wonders for you…

“I want nothing more than to lay you down and take you right here, but…” I whisper in her ear as I blaze a trail of kisses down her neck, her body responding to my every touch with soft whimpers and gasps.

“We are still in public… and broad daylight.” Her breathing is erratic as I press my forehead to hers. I close my eyes, and listen to her erratic breathing and feel the rise and fall of her chest.

“Dammit.” I whisper. I lean in and press a soft, slow kiss to her lips before I pull away. My body instantly missing the contact. I grab one of her hands in mine and give it a light squeeze. “You’re going to be the death of me, Ana. Or at least, the death of my reputation.” I take a moment to check my surroundings, fortunately we are still alone.

“…You’re welcome?” Her soft laugh ringing through my ears.

“We should probably get back to cleaning, or we’ll never finish.”

“Oh, I’m desperate to finish, alright.” Her coy smile spreading across her lips.

I smile at her with a shake of my head, her lips red from our kisses and her skin flushed… so damn beautiful…

We make our way out of the line of fire of the sprinklers and continue working, well into the evening. My fingers moving in time with the rise and fall of her curves, remembering the sparks of electricity and the sound of her moans.

[noki-bb]

Diluc x Gender Neutral Reader

The reader was a caretaker(nanny?) for Dilic and Kaeya, But moved to the city when Diluc took over Dawn Winery.

“Master Dilic!”

Diluc stops in his tracks, dread washing through him. Donna runs to him holding a cloth covered basket, a rosy blush covering her cheeks.

“Master Diluc I baked these for you as thanks for helping me the other day,” she extends the basket towards him questionably out of breath. She just tanned down the stairs how can she be so out of breath?

He stared at the basket his brain going into overdrive. This was worse than the fatui, assaination attempts and the Knight of Fanivois combined. How could he a mere mortal interact with a girl?!?

Diluc just smiles taking the warm basket with blank eyes “Thank you.” Donna just grins her hands cluched to her chest “Your welcome! I worked hard baking them I-“

“Master Diluc?”

But he was already gone, hiding in the darkness of the shadows All he wanted was to check on the tavern and do his usual business not get confessed by a girl he had no interest in. He turned the corner only to stumble on a stray cat. It immediately hissed attacking his ankles with fury of Barbatos himself.

He tried to shake it off his hands full with the heavy basket. It was getting higher WHY IS IT CLIMBING ON HIS PANT LEG!!! He could feel the claws digging through his trouser. His brain was already buzzing with the gift this was just adding water to the mix.

Just as the cat reached his thigh it was plucked off of him. Gentle hands grabbing the yowling cat by it’s scruff and detaching it’s claws of the fabric.

The cat was placed down the ground the claws clacking against the stone. It hissed at him before scampering off.

“Tut tut tut Diluc a girl and a cat is enough to get the most power man in Mondstat to crumble” a exaggerated sigh “If anyone knew this what would they think.”

Diluc stared at the person in front of them, blush creeping to the edge of his ears. He adverted in gaze

“Sorry” embarrassment reign his body.He hadn’t been scolded like this since he was a child.

You huffed placing your hands on your hips, glaring at him. It was endearing seeing the boy you cared for act, well like a boy again. A smile tugged your lips but you remained stern.

He shuffled his feet, face still blank as ever “Sorry for not visiting you” it was sincere at least.

The basket in his hands burned, he hoped you wouldn’t take notice of it.

You looked down at the basket in his hands, ignoring his apology. “Did Donna bake these for you?” if Kaeya could see him, he would busted out laugh at how hard he had flinched.... he was watching wasn’t he? No doubt he was. Enjoying the show you little bast-

“Moon pies, how lucky” you mused taking from the basket. The fat treat still warm you bit into it the cream filling bursting out from the bite.

“Wow she loaded these up. how can you eat these with as napkin” you sighed licking using your thumb to clean the filling before locking it up with a velvet tongue.

W e’re his trousers always this tight? Maybe he needs to get a wardrobe update. Wait no. NOT RIGHT NOW. HIS BOY CRUSH WAS ACTIVATING. ABANDON THE CHALLENGE MAYDAYMAYDAY

“Take a bite” he obediently opened his mouth like the Milf whore he was. Taking a bite out of the overflowing pie some spilled out but luckily you were holding a hand under it catching all the stray crumbs.

It was good at least the cream was overwhelming the other flavors. It was to sweet, but he could just scrape it off when he got home.

He cleared his throat “Why are you here?” Shit that didn’t come out right.

Your face shifted the smile lost. His eyes flicker to the pie you still had hovering near his face.

You enjoyed the absolute panick that overtook his face. Your lips twitched and you watch him struggle. You haven’t seen him these flustered since he was a little boy. Oh how you missed the good old days.

You couldn’t hold it back anymore laughing. You hands shook, placing the pie back into the basket it. “When did you turn into such a comedian Master Diluc!” you wheeze “Has Kaeya been rubbing off on you?”

His face went sour just like when he sneaked a taste of wine when he was younger.

“No I would rather burn than have that little rat have a influence on me”

You scoffed crossing your arms

“Are so sure about that”

He glared, and was he pouting? Oh god he was! How cute!

You hum thoughtfully stroking your chin with a cruel smirk.

“What about that time when you and Kaeya snuck out to eat Sticky Honey Roast and puked before you could make it out of the city. And I had to pick you up and nurse you back to good health?”

Diluc flushed his face matched his hair! He grimaced at the memory not his proudest moment and you had a fun time feeding them anything that tasted like it until they cleaned the whole manor by themselves.

“That was.. not a proud moment in my life I admit that, but we were just children. It different now” his face returned to it stotic mask.The cheerful atmosphere dimmed turning awkward.

You frowned, “I suppose it has. Both of you are grown up now. It makes me feel so old”

You sigh rubbing your shoulders. “I best be leaving. You had a errand to run no?” you patted. You smiled at the sight of the crimson locks bouncing, running your fingers through the strands.

“Come visit me sometime yeah? It’s always nice to see both my boys.” with that you left. Strolling back into the street leaving him in the dark alleyway with a cold basket of half eaten moon pies.

[wonderwomanfantasy]

Today, Tomorrow, Forever.

Behold, the four AM dabi fic. Also this is the first part of a series so look out for the next part. Also Also, this is based on a lot of different books and shows so if at any point you’re like “hey this is just like X” you’re probably right. 

Dabi x Reader (not really in this chapter but we’ll get there)

warnings: swearing, violence, abuse, Endeavor, spooky shit, cannon divergence (Dabi is a good brother), this is a full AU so I did mess with the ages of the Todorokis,

words: 2,300

summary: Out of the frying pan into the fire, that was the expression right? leaving one bad situation into something much much worse? That’s where you were right now, in the fire. 

Sometimes it was hard for you to tell what was real, and what was fiction. Often you’d wake from a vivid dream and as you blinked the spots from your eyes and looked up at the textured ceiling of your bedroom, and for an instant, or in truth much longer than an instant, you’d still be there. In the dream. Then you would get up and you would remember, you were in your room, in your bed, in your body. At least that’s what it seemed like. 

Then of course there were the ghosts. You weren’t sure if the ghosts were reality or fiction, they seemed like a gray area between the two. Sometimes other people could see them, which lead you to believe they were real, but then most of the time it was only you seeing the figures and shapes, But that didn’t mean they weren’t real. 

All this to say when Enji Todoroki told you his house was haunted, you were surprised to meet someone so open to believing in ghosts. Of course, he rather quickly squashed that idea with the next words out of his mouth being “Those rumors are of course ridiculous but some idiots still believe it,”

“Of course,” you replied meekly, dropping your eyes from his stern gaze.  “Ghosts, real or not don’t bother me so that won’t be an issue, Sir.”

You needed the job, badly, so you were willing to lie. Enji was looking for a Nanny for his youngest son, you were looking to get away from where you were coming from, so you were both in a position to help the other. And the only catch seemed to a slightly haunted house. You could live with that, as long as your own ghosts stayed away.  

“When can you start?”

The Todoroki manner was a large one, Ornate and lavish if not old, clean and well taken care of it seemed, but empty. There was a housekeeper, a cook, a gardener, and a pool boy, all of whom seemed very nice but all of them seemed to slip into the shadows the moment you turned your back, and as it where you were to be the only one who lived in the manner full time, isolating you further. 

As Enji walked you through the home you couldn’t help but think that perhaps it was more than the ghost rumors that were keeping people away. There were framed photos on the wall, of Enji, his wife, and four children all of varying ages, you found it strange that none of them seemed to be here, save Enji and Shoto. 

Speaking of Shoto, You were warned about the scar that covered nearly half of his face, but the warning wasn’t enough to prepare you for seeing it in person, it took all you had not to gasp when you looked the boy in the face. Similarly, you knew that he was a quiet boy, but you hadn’t been expecting him to give you a single “nice to meet you,” then stay silent for the rest of your interaction. 

“He’s just a little shy, we’ll warm up to each other,” you assured, smiling first at Shoto and then at his father. 

Then Enji left leaving you alone with his son. You were awful with kids, terrible really and if you had had any other choice you might not have taken this job. You had no idea how to even begin acting around this kid. 

You decided to pull from what little human interaction you could and decided to treat him like a coworker. Right so what would you do with a cold coworker?

“Shoto, I’m still new so why don’t you show me your favorite part of the house alright? Then we can do something fun,” you offered. He thought about it and nodded. While he didn’t say anything just stood up and started walking out of the room. You followed him as he lead you out into the backyard there was a large grass field and a pool with trees lining the promoter. It was a warm spring day, but most of the trees in the yard were dead, not yet budding, still suffering from the harsh winter.  

Shoto lead you into a patch of trees further in the back of the field to a cluster of oak trees and you saw one had an old ropes wing hanging from the lowest branch. 

“You like to swing?” you asked and he shook his head

“No? Then why this spot,” you asked and for the first time since meeting him, he spoke

“My mom used to like this swing, she’d sit on it and read me stories,” he said, crouching down and sitting down on one of the roots of the old tree. You crouched down beside him.

“I see, so you come here to remember your mom?” you asked and he nodded silently. You took a shuddering breath and reached down the collar of your shirt pulling out a slender silver chain that held a locket, and showed the necklace to Shoto.

“I do the same thing with this locket, it helps me remember my mom too,” you said. 

“Your mom went away too?” he asked.

“Yeah, she got really sick when I was younger and, she went away,” you said, choking back emotion, you were surprised that talking about your mother still brought up this sadness in you, Shoto reached out and touched your hand. Almost like he was trying to comfort you. 

“We still see her sometimes, in the hospital, but it’s not the same,” He said quietly, a cold breeze passed over you, ruffling your hair and making you shiver. 

“That must be hard,” you said and he nodded, “why don’t you show me some of your other favorite places okay?” You said and he nodded. You both stood and walked back into the house, another shiver going down your spine as you tucked your locket back into your shirt. 

It only took you a week to realize that Enji Todoroki had never spent a day in his life with his son. While Shoto’s room was littered with sports equipment, soccer balls, baseball bats, tense rackets, all unused. 

Shoto liked the library, he liked to read and draw, he wasn’t a hard kid to look after, you would read with him, or fill in coloring books at his request, and often the two of you would walk around the field talk about the books he’d read. 

Sometimes Shoto would ask to see your locket, and you’d show it to him and you’d talk about your mothers together.

“Is there a picture inside the locket?” he asked and you winced, instinctually closing your fist around the silver heart. 

“No,” you lied, “the latch is broken so it doesn’t open,” you  said. He nodded and dropped the subject. You tucked the locket back inside your shirt and went on with the game of chess you were playing, losing badly to Shoto.

He was a good kid, and he opened up to you easily, which only solidified in your mind that Enji had never once tried to understand him but you weren’t getting paid to play family therapist. 

While taking care of Shoto was easy, living in the manner was anything but. The house was old and made a lot of creaking settling noises that never failed to make you jump. The rooms were dimly lit and furnished with dark wood making the rooms feel smaller than they where, making you clostrophobic.  Even though you had been living here for over a month now the lay out of the house still perplexed you sometimes, leading to geting lost in rooms you’d never seen before and would never see again. 

The rooms of the Elder Todorokis, Shoto’s brothers and sisters, always remained locked, not that you had ever tried to open any of those doors, the strage chill that seemed to emanate from that room was always enough to keep you away. 

All of that was annoying, chilling even, knowing what you knew. But none of it was unbearable, but the ghosts. The ghosts made you want to leave. 

Sometimes you would wake up with a transparent blue woman looming over you and you had to clap your hand over your mouth to keep you from screaming. She left as soon as you saw here, leaving you shaking. 

“I am in Todoroki manor,” you started shakily, touching a hand to the top of your head.  “I’m in my bed, I’m in my body,” you reminded yourself before collapsing back to the bed

 No one else seemed to be able to see the man in the kitchen or  the apparitions that plaied out side. So you kept quiet, and didn’t say anything. 

Some nights how ever, they kept you up. You would sit shaking in your bed, one hand firmly around your locket the other over your mouth while widows slammed open and things toppled from shelves.  While most of the ghosts in the house seemed docile there was at least one who wasn’t. This villant ghost never showed themself, until one night. 

It was pitch black when you returned home. You had been permitted to Take Shoto out of the house and the two of you had gone to a movie. 

He tieredly rubbed his eyes as you helped him out of his jacket. 

“Ready for bed?” you asked and he nodded. He took your hand and slowly you both made your way up the stairs.  There was a loud cracking sound and before you saw the heavy oak banister crack. 

You frose in place. Not now, you silently pleaded, not in front of someone else, you couldn’t contain your fear and still play it off as normal. You could smell smoke. 

Shoto suddenly gripped your hand tighter.  “We should run,” he said, could he possibly see what you were seeing?

Before you could ask him anything, the painting on the wall to your left fell to the floor with a crash, blood oozing out of the eyes of the people inside, Shoto screamed, and without thinking you lifted him in your arms and took off running. His short nails dug into your shoulders as he clung to you.  You saw a door cracked open and without thinking you burst into the room slamming the door closed behind the two of you and slumping to the floor, Shoto in your lap your back to the heavy wood. You took a look around assessing your surroundings and saw you were in Shoto’s neat and tidy room. 

There was another loud crash and you felt Shoto go stiff in your arms frozen in fear and suddenly there was only one thing you could think and that was oh god I have to protect this child I have to protect this poor poor child. You lifted him easily in his arms and marched to his bed, then you firmly removed him from your shirt and place him down.

“Hide under the covers, I’ll be right back okay?” you ordered, he looked terrified, he didn’t say anything just crawled under the covers. You spun around on your heel and headed to the door, picking up his toy bat as you went. Sure it was a toy but damn if you weren’t going to swing it hard enough to cause some real damage. And you barrage into the darkened hallway. 

At first, there was a disturbing quiet, just the labored sound of your breathing. “Don’t play coy now you son of a bitch,” you hissed under your breath. There was a groan and you whipped around seeing your ghost for the first time.

The first time you’d seen a ghost, and known it was a ghost, was when you were seven. You were five or six. You were in a park sat on the swingset trying to learn how to swing without needing to be pushed like the big kids did when you saw an old woman who had neither arms nor legs. Most ghosts were like that, half-formed, incomplete as if they had lost more than just their lives.

Not this one, however. You could see him perfectly from the tip of his spikey white hair down all the way to the clasps on his boots. He looked surprisingly like Natsuo, with white spikey hair, a lanky body, and angry eyes. Toya, he had called his dead brother. Toya was right in front of you now. 

This revelation paused you for only a moment before you glaired at the spectator. 

“Can you-” he began to speak but you cut him off by swinging the bat through his middle section, it passed through him harmlessly but you didn’t care you moved to hit him again. 

“Stop,” he growled and caught you by the thought, you gasped feeling his cold skin touch your throat, then his fingers clamped down choking you. He looked stunned, not that you really cared about whatever revelation this bastard was going through if he could touch you that means you should be able to touch him. You swung the bat again this time hitting his wrist knocking his hand off your throat, you stagged back and sneered at the ghost your heart pounding in your chest so loud you wondered if he could hear it. 

He, Toya, Looked at his hand flexing his fingers, then at you, then vanished. You whirled looking for where he would pop up next, but he didn’t appear. You rushed back into Shoto’s room coking him out of the covers and holding him while he sobbed. You might have cried a little too, it was hard to tell.

In the morning there would be bruises of fingers on your neck.

[dewitty1]

Modern Love

tackytiger @tackytigerfic

Chapters: 8/8 Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Characters: Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Black Malfoy, Andromeda Black Tonks, Teddy Lupin Additional Tags: Draco Malfoy in the Muggle World, Slow Burn, Oblivious Harry Potter, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, idiots to lovers, Politics, Ministry of Magic (Harry Potter), Songfic, Friendship, Found Family, Mentions of Cancer, References to Illness, Chemotherapy, references to canonical child abuse, references to canonical deaths, References to Depression, Drunkenness, Sad Harry Potter, Church Services, Hymns, Atheism, Kissing in Church, Religious Discussion, Light Angst, Boxing & Fisticuffs, Minor Injuries, Blood and Injury, Gay vicar, Original Character(s), Original Character Illness, Magical Theory (Harry Potter), Scars, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Minor Draco Malfoy/ Sexy Tall Vicar, Draco Kisses Someone Briefly That’s All I Promise, Magic/Muggle Relations, Jealousy, Family Drama Series: Part 1 of Modern Love

Summary:

Harry Potter, of all people, knows that life isn’t always fair. And no one gets to be happy all of the time. But surely there’s something more—something better—than a rubbish Ministry job, and a lonely old house, and that feeling that everyone out there is doing a better job of living than Harry is.

And it really doesn’t seem fair that Draco Malfoy is back in Harry’s life, all of a sudden, and even though he’s wandless, and living with Muggles, and making his mother cry with his lifestyle choices, he’s happy. So what’s he doing right, that Harry isn’t?

Because things don’t really change, do they? And if Harry can’t be happy, he’ll settle for a good night’s sleep, some posh antiques, and the opportunity to find out what Malfoy has been up to for all these years.

And that’s what starts it all.

Excerpt:

“Do you know,” he says conversationally, “when I was little, my mother used to wash my hair for me.”

“I did not know that,” Harry says gravely. “Though I can’t say I’m surprised. It was always particularly glossy-looking when we were at school.”

The disadvantage of Malfoy being so close, Harry discovers, is that it’s easy for him to find the softest bit of Harry’s tummy to pinch.

“I was actually quite a cosseted child. Spoiled rotten in fact. You may find that astonishing when you consider what a delight I was as a teenager. But my parents were busy people. My father ran the estate, and spent a lot of time in London, of course. So I didn’t see them much in the evenings. The nursery was in its own wing, naturally, and my nanny was very attentive.“

Harry snorts at that, but then thinks about tiny Draco with his face upturned toward Lucius, alight with worship, and feels a bit sad.

"So it was my favourite thing when I was small, having my mother give me a bath. It was always a very special treat. She’d sit on the floor with her sleeves rolled up and the front of her robes would get all wet and foamy from me splashing, but she never minded. And she’d keep spelling the water hot so I could stay in for as long as I wanted.”

Harry can’t imagine it. He vaguely remembers when he was tiny, standing shivering in the Dursleys’ avocado-coloured bath while Petunia sprayed him with tepid water from the shower head, scrubbed him with carbolic soap. And then after a while, she stopped even doing that. Harry used to sneak in and wash when no one noticed, used to pile his clothes in with the rest of the laundry, since he was the one doing it anyway. But he knows that as a child he was probably never all that clean. How did no one ever notice, he wonders, not for the first time. Why did no one care?

“And when I was tired and wanted to get out, she’d turn me around with my back to the edge—” Harry hears the snap of a bottle lid, smells something fresh and sharp, like the crush of sun-hot meadow grass (like Malfoy, he thinks) “—and she’d wash my hair for me.”

Then Malfoy’s hand is on Harry’s hair, and he starts to rub gentle, workmanlike circles from Harry’s crown down to his nape. He pulls his other hand back from around Harry’s body, though he stays close enough that Harry can still feel him against his back, and then he starts to work through Harry’s hair with both hands. His fingers are strong, raising bubbles at Harry’s temples, moving with pure intent through the curls that are flattened and lengthened by water, resting at his nape for a moment, gathering the curls in his fist then releasing them as he lathers, sluices, strokes.

It’s all Harry can do to keep quiet. Having Malfoy touch him like this—having anyone touch him like this—feels like too much. No one has ever laid hands on him like this, with such focus, like he’s the only thing that matters.

And he thinks of Narcissa crying at Andy’s kitchen table all those months ago, and how he had wondered why anyone would want to cry over Malfoy, of all people. How stupid he had been, how stupid and short-sighted, to think that Malfoy was unlovable just because Harry had him all neatly tidied away in his mind, relegated to uselessness by some weird little childhood rivalry. 

Malfoy is probably the most lovable person Harry can think of, it turns out—he just hadn’t known it before. And in the end, it was just a case of Malfoy deciding to let Harry love him, that was all. Once Malfoy made that decision, there was nothing Harry could have done.

And now he knows how Narcissa feels, because his eyes are smarting with the sour threat of unshed tears. He wants to cry over arguing with Malfoy, who is one of his best friends and who he’s pretty sure he’d do anything for, and when did that even happen?

Malfoy’s hands are still in Harry’s hair, and the lather is sliding down Harry’s body to puddle at their feet, and he doesn’t think anything has ever felt quite so intimate as the insistent pressure of Malfoy’s fingers on the hidden curves of bone behind Harry’s ears. Malfoy keeps talking.

“She was so gentle with me,” he says. His voice is nearly a whisper, but his mouth is so close to Harry’s ear that every word carries over the water. “She used to say, ‘I’ll take care of you, sweetheart. I’ll take care of you.’” 

He tugs his fingers through the lengths of Harry’s hair, lets the water rinse him clean, then lets his hands fall to Harry’s shoulders, his thumbs moving in restless circles over the notches of Harry’s spine.

“I’ll take care of you, sweetheart,” he says again, and it means something different this time—something for the now, rather than an echo of the past—and Harry hadn’t realised how long he’d been waiting to hear that. Usually, taking care of Harry is a duty. And some people hated him for it, and even the people who didn’t ended up getting hurt, dying.

Malfoy says it like it’s easy, like it’s a gift. Like it’s not a chore at all, just a simple pleasure.

Harry lets his head fall back onto Malfoy’s shoulder, so Malfoy’s face fits snug in the curve of Harry’s throat, and Malfoy’s arms drop down to fit around Harry’s waist again. Harry isn’t sure how long they stay there, but the water starts to run cool, and the creaking pipes make a resentful thumping sound when Harry fiddles with the dial to turn the heat up.

“When I came into the shower,” Malfoy murmurs, “I was going to kiss you.”

And Harry’s blood does that dizzying swoop that sometimes happens around Malfoy, only this time it all rushes straight to his wet naked cock, and he’s hard and getting harder at just the thought of a kiss, and he wonders distantly if instead of being mad about Malfoy, he’s just going a bit mad in general. It’s been a while since he’s been with anyone, after all. And it’s been even longer than that again since he’s been with someone he likes so much.

“Only I thought…” Malfoy’s low, amused voice is a torture device this close to his ear. “I thought if I kissed you, we would probably end up fucking, Which… you know. It might not be such a bad thing, to get it out of our systems. Right? And it would probably be really good.”

“Thanks,” Harry says distantly, absurdly.

“For you Potter, because it would be sex with me, please keep up. But then I got in here with you and I ended up talking about my fucking mother to you, telling you things I’ve never told anyone, and I could feel you getting all tense and weird about how those arsehole Muggles of yours never took care of you, let alone that prick Dumbledore who at least was supposed to be one of the good guys.”

He sighs again, moves his face away from where he’s still nuzzling Harry’s neck, and hooks his chin over Harry’s shoulder. His arms tighten around Harry’s middle.

“And I remembered that sex is easy. It’s so fucking easy, and because it would be good, it might feel like the right thing to do. But we’ve worked so hard at this, haven’t we? Yeah, I know it’s a horror to have to talk about it, but fuck it. We’re friends now, but it took so long to get here. Have you ever had to work so hard at something before?“

“Well. I mean, I did have to kill Voldemort when I was seventeen?”

“I’m including that, and I’m including your opening waltz at the Yule Ball because that was a study in despair for all concerned, including those of us who had to sit through it. Look, we took a while to get here, is what I’m saying. It probably felt like a terrible idea most of the time we were doing it. God, remember that first time at Fand’s? The first time my friends found out about you? Weasley’s birthday party? But then I didn’t even notice when the you part of it all started being something easy. And if we kiss, we have to figure the whole thing out again. So now I don’t know what to do. Because…” —the ghost of a hot breath against Harry’s ear, and the shivery feeling of Malfoy’s mouth moving close enough to touch Harry’s skin— “… I would really like to kiss you now, and I don’t know how to feel about that.”

( •ॢ◡-ॢ)-♡*✲ﾟ*｡⋆♡ོ

[fortheloveoffanfic]

Behind Closed Doors

Keanu Reeves x OFC (A/n- And now, I shall make it complicated)

Masterlist

Warnings- Jealousy

Chapter 2 All In a Long Weekend

Saturday

That Saturday morning, breakfast had been done a tad earlier than usual, and afterwards, Emma had stayed back in the kitchen, packing a picnic while Keanu oversaw the children as they got ready for the day's beach trip. Matt and Poppy had been raving about their trip to Malibu for the past two weeks, asking every night before bed if they'd still be going. Each time, Emma had assured them that unless it rained, they were certainly going.

"You look excited," an older woman came up beside Emma, setting down some sodas into the cooler, just as Emma continued preparing sandwiches for the container that was set to be packed into the woven basket. She and Zelda, despite the fifteen or so years between them had become fast friends, always eager to help each other out when possible. The older woman was also sometimes keen of giving Emma little snippets of advice that she thought my be helpful; never go into Keanu's office when he had the door shut, don't give the kids ice pops inside and possibly the one that had saved her the most trouble, always check the allergy list that Keanu had stuck to the fridge before making the kids something new.

Beaming absently at her comment, Emma carried on with her task, making cheese and turkey sandwiches; a favorite among Keanu and his kids, "I am, it's been a while since I've been to the beach, and even if I'm still working, it's gonna be fun." Closing up the Tupperware, Emma set it in the basket, moving on to prepping snacks, just as Zelda started on some frozen treats for the sizable cooler. In retrospect, it might have seemed like a lot, but when you were having a day trip with kids, it was best to prepare for anything. "Plus, it'll be nice to spend some time together, just the four of us."

Furrowing her eyebrows in confusion, Zelda paused for a minute, "Five dear," she corrected, a little shocked when Emma didn't understand what she meant.

Certainly, Keanu must have told her!

But really, he hadn't.

Just as Zelda was about to explain though, the sound of the front door opening and shutting, followed by a very loud, and an annoyingly exuberant; "Darling!" After that, it wasn't long before the sound of heels clicking against the floor drew nearer, and out of the long hallway emerged a woman, tall, blonde and just as famous as Keanu.

"Sweet-" Upon seeing the pair, the Miranda Riley, former Victoria Secret model and world famous actress, stopped in her tracks, scrunching her perfectly straight nose as if she'd smelt something terrible, "Oh," her made up face fell, "Its you; Zora and…….the new one."

A little annoyed by her obviously snooty behavior, Emma opened her mouth to speak up, "Actually it's-" Though, when Zelda grabbed her arm, squeezing warningly, she shut up immediately, sealing her lips tightly.

Though, it didn't really seem like any of it greatly affected Miranda, especially when Keanu jogged into the room from the other hall, still bare foot while his worn out t-shirt was soaked at the front, probably from herding the twins into a bath. "Mandy," he grinned, and Emma swore it was stiff and forced. Maybe it was just her imagination though, cause with barely any hesitation, Keanu was taking the woman in his arms, holding her in a more than friendly hug before planting a lengthy kiss on her deep, ruby lips, one of his hands reaching up to cup her face.

The world seemed to slow down as the entire scene unfolded before her; the way he held her, looked at her when they pulled away to speak. A soft, pained gasp seeped past her lips and Emma wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting when Miranda walked into the house, but she did know that the last thing she’d predicted was that it would hurt so much. Her lungs were set ablaze and a similar sensation prickled at her eyes. Rage, betrayal, jealousy, Emma couldn’t tell which it was, but she did know that she wanted to run out of the room and not have to face Keanu for the rest of the day. Hell, maybe even the rest of the month.

Slowly, as if she were just coming up from being submerged in an ice cold bath, Emma brought herself back to the moment, raising her gaze when Keanu sought to introduce them, “Mandy, you remember I told you about Emma, our new nanny.” That was what she was, the nanny; the woman who took care of his kids, nothing more. Even if quieter moments had suggested otherwise. The tension, the long stares and innocent touches that thrilled her nerves, they meant nothing to Keanu. “And Em, this is my girlfriend, Mandy.” Well that didn’t feel like a bullet to the chest at all.

“It’s nice to meet you,” the smile that she plastered on her face was probably the hardest one she’d ever managed, and when Emma offered her hand, it wasn’t difficult to miss the flash of disgust that crossed Miranda’s pale features. Never meet your heroes, they said. For as long as Emma had known herself, Miranda had been an icon in the fashion world, she was well connected, and had set most of the trends that Emma had her friends had desperately wanted to mimic in their teens. It was her, among other inspiring names in the fashion world that had prompted Emma to go to a design institute and not a conventional college. But right then, she might have been happier going back to a time where she’d never crossed paths with Miranda.

Hesitating before offering Emma a toothy, winning grin, Miranda took her hand, shaking quickly over the counter before letting it go again, “Mmm, yes, it's…….nice to meet you too, Emily.”

“Emma,” she corrected, having to bite her tongue so she wouldn’t say anything more. The last thing she’d want was to lose her job after telling off her boss’s out of touch bitch of a girlfriend.

“Right,” Miranda appraised her look, a bright blue sundress, raising an impressed brow, probably only complimenting her to appease Keanu, “Cute dress.”

Before Emma could speak up, Keanu interjected, “She looks lovely doesn’t she? Made it herself,��� he didn’t seem remotely aware of the heaviness in the room, or the way Miranda clenched her jaw when another slew of praises for Emma left his lips, “She’s so talented, Poppy is already roping her into making princess dresses for Halloween,” he chuckled, shaking in his head.

After another minute spent gritting her teeth, Miranda sought to change the topic, clearly having had her fill of Keanu’s pride in his nanny, “Where are the little ones anyway? It's nearly ten, we’re going to be late.”

With that, Emma’s head snapped towards Zelda, who'd opted to finish the cooler and snacks in silence, so she wouldn’t have to endure any of the painstaking conversation, “She’s going?” She whispered when Keanu and Miranda weren’t looking, eyes wide and frenzied.

“Yeah,” she nodded, barely looking as Emma when she followed her to the fridge, while Keanu and Miranda spoke, or rather, canoodled in hushed tones, "I feel like I should have told you he has a girlfriend," Zelda paused, just after reaching for a half filled carton of strawberries.

"Ya think?" Emma hissed, glancing backwards at the couple, feeling her heart pinch at how lovey dovey they were. She could have sworn there was something between herself and Keanu. "How hard was it to say 'Hey Em, you know our boss has this girlfriend, and she's like, a total bitch.' What the hell does he even see in her anyway?"

"She's tall and gorgeous?" Zelda shrugged casually, "Look, I don't get it either, but he loves her, they've been together for almost two years and I think she's convinced him to go public by the end of this year." Her face fell at Emma's troubled expression, reaching out to rub her shoulder sympathetically, "I see the way you look at him, and if there's something between you two, then……and I don't mean this harshly at all, maybe you need to back down. Miranda, she's……she's not someone you want to mess with," sighing deeply, Zelda peered over to see if they were being overheard, "She gets what she wants, and right now, she wants Keanu and you don't want to be in her way."

Gritting her teeth, Emma pulled away harshly, "I don't know what the hell you're talking about," she squared her shoulders, "There's nothing between Keanu and I," maybe she was getting more defensive than she needed to be, but Emma didn't care. "I'm gonna go finish getting the twins ready," she announced loudly, stalking out of the room and down the hall, and hopefully, leaving behind whatever she'd started to feel for her boss.

As it turned out, Matt and Poppy had all but put their clothes on over their swimsuits, and they were so excited about going, that they got into their little summery outfits without fuss. Afterwards, tiny feet clad in colorful sandals, they raced each other downstairs, leaving Emma to collect their bags before she headed down.

She was walking towards the stairs, backpacks in hands, really just minding her own business, having just started to calm down after the whole Keanu/Miranda fiasco, when, just as she neared the door of Keanu's home office, she heard it. He was deep in conversation, and had unknowingly left the door just a sliver open, enough for her to catch on to some juicy bits. "I know mom," he sounded exasperated, and when she dared to peek in, Emma found that his back was to her, as he stood facing the window, one hand stuffed into the pocket of his jeans, "But I'm not getting any younger, what do you want me to do? Wait till I'm sixty?" He sighed heavily, shaking his head, "Matt and Poppy need a mother, and Miranda……" he trailed off, listening intently to what his mother had to say. Leaning closer, Emma wished she could be privy to the other end of the call, aching to hear what his mother thought about the succubus that he called a girlfriend. But alas, she'd have to settle for whatever she got.

After a few minutes had passed, Keanu spoke again, turning around, leaving Emma to dash for cover, though still within earshot. For a minute, she held her breath, awaiting the moment where Keanu would poke his head out the door and catch her eavesdropping. But it never came, and instead, he continued, "I think I'm going to do it tomorrow night, we're going to dinner, and the nanny will watch the kids. I have the ring already. I think she might like it."

Ring?

The sirens in Emma's head were going off so loudly that she barely registered his tone, the absence of excitement or joy, things that were usually there when someone was smitten enough to propose. There was too much going on in her head; the irrational fear of never having a chance with Keanu, the more rational fear that Miranda might become her boss too. Tuning out the rest of the conversation, not caring to hear anymore, Emma dragged herself towards the stairs, slinking down towards the kitchen, where she found Zelda entertaining the children.

“Everything okay?” She probed when Emma placed the bags on the counter, next to the cooler and picnic basket, her features still crestfallen.

“Yeah,” she mustered up a smile, inching closer to her friend, her voice dropping an octave, “I think Keanu’s going to propose to Miranda, like tomorrow night.”

“What?” Zelda’s eyes went wide, her jaw hanging slack, and she almost dropped the dishes she had just started putting into the cupboards, “How do you know that, did he tell you?”

“Tell her what?” Speak of the devil. Miranda startled them both, and for a second, Emma was worried that she’d overheard their conversation, though that too was short lived.

“Everyone ready?” Keanu strode into the room, and though Emma wanted to meet his gaze, she restrained herself, not even trying to respond, just going over to gather some of their things, her teary smile faltering when the kids excitedly started following her to the car.

At some point, Miranda had eased Keanu away from where they’d set up their picnic on the beach, urging him into a walk even though the kids had pleaded with him to stay and help them build sandcastles. Emma had taken his place, helping them with their little construction project, highly aware of how upset Poppy still was. “You okay Pop?”

The girl frowned, using her fragile fingers to sweep some hair out of her face, “I wish daddy would have stayed and built it with us,” she mumbled, dumping another bucket of sand to create segment of the castle, though doing it so harshly that the new section just crumbled, “He always leaves when aunt Mandy comes around.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” even if she didn’t like Miranda, if she was going to be Matt and Poppy’s step mother, Emma couldn’t go around bad mouthing her to them, “I’m sure he still spends time with you. And aunt Miranda seems really like you two.”

“Not as much as you,” that was Matt, his expression skewed by his dark mane falling over his face, “She’s always telling us to be quiet. And she’s so boring,” he stressed, lurching forward, only half interested in ranting about Miranda, still very invested in their sandcastle, “She almost made dad stop my swimming lessons.”

“What?” That time, it was a struggle to keep her annoyance at bay. Even if it was just one side, even if Matt couldn’t possibly know the entire truth, it was still enough to rile Emma up. How dare she? Matt was the best on his team! Taking a breath, Emma knew it was time to shift the conversation, and cheer the twins up before she said something that she’d regret, “You know what? Why don’t we give this a break? We can go to the water, have a splash war!”

“Yeah!” They jumped up immediately, barely giving Emma a minute to shimmy out of her sundress, revealing her simple, floral bikini before joining them in the water. It didn’t take long to lift their spirits, and before long, Matt and Poppy were teaming up to out splash Emma. Their gleeful giggles were music to her ears and she adored seeing their wide grins. They’d waited almost a month for that trip, they deserved to enjoy as much as they could, even if Miranda was going to take up most of Keanu’s time.

They probably spent hours past noon in the water, and not once did anyone’s smile falter. Emma gave them ice pops, and insisted that they have some water once or twice, though each time, they accepted without fuss, and she couldn’t tell if was the sugar from their snacks, or just how immersed they were in the games, but even when Keanu and Miranda returned near sunset, they didn’t show signs of tire.

“You guys having all the fun without me?” Keanu let go of Miranda’s hand, standing where the water would wash over his feet, pulling the sand back as it receded.

A pang of anger flared inside of her, making Emma want to remind Keanu that he was the one that left, but she suppressed it. A fight wouldn’t solve anything. She was so caught up in being annoyed with Keanu, that she hadn't noticed how dark his gaze had grown when his eyes fell on her, kneeling in the water, rivulets rolling off her tan skin, the top of her bathing suit pressing her breasts together, a generous amount of her cleavage spilling out voluptuously. “Well why don’t you join in?” She made herself laugh, and while Emma was hardly as much of an actor as the two A listers before her, she’d liked to think she managed pretty well.

“Sounds great,” he didn’t even seem to notice Emma’s irritation, bubbling beneath the surface. In a flash, he was pulling off his t-shirt, tossing it to the sand, getting into water wearing just his swim trunks, and as he drew closer, his cheerful tone faltered, probably realizing that being in the water with her wasn’t going to do him any favors, “Do you guys wanna play chicken fight?” Keanu turned to his kids, only to be met with excited nods, “And maybe Mandy wants to play too?” He turned to her, eyes somewhat hopeful, “And we can let Em have a break,” swallowing thickly.

“Oh, I…..” Miranda seemed perfectly out of her element, smoothing a hand over her stylish, white sundress, and then pushing up the dark tinted sunglasses, which formerly guarded crystal green orbs. It took a minute, but eventually, she conjured up a tight grin, “Chicken fight isn’t really my kind of game,” she laughed nonchalantly, “Besides, the water will ruin my hair. You should let Emily play, childish nonsense seems right up her alley.”

Subduing the urge to roll her eyes and fire a few obscenities towards Miranda, Emma took a breath, gazing between Keanu, who’d gone cold, and Miranda who’s wicked mirth was reflected in her defiant smile, “Like I said this morning, it’s just Emma. And that’s fine, I actually love childish nonsense, its way more fun than sitting on the sand like a……” stuck up bitch, “Boring grown up.”

Amused with her half hearted insult, Matt laughed loudly, while Poppy just giggled, already trying to get up on Emma’s shoulders. Fuming, Miranda turned on her heel, stomping off towards the mat, and it wasn’t long before the rest of them had forgotten the almost-spat, getting on with their game.

Monday

As usual, Emma was up early, preparing breakfast for everyone. It was just past seven am, and since Mondays didn’t promise cartoon reruns, the kids weren’t up yet. Instead, Zelda had come in earlier than usual, saying that she wanted to get a head start on the housework, but really just looking to gossip. They were in the kitchen together, preparing for hash browns, eggs and bacon, working over quiet chatter, “So…” Zelda nudged Emma’s shoulder with her own.

“So?” Emma chuckled, nudging her back, the comfy cotton of her robe brushing against the sleeve of Zelda’s shirt. She knew exactly what her friend was seeking, but truthfully, she didn’t know how Keanu’s proposal had gone. All she knew was that they’d left for dinner around seven, leaving her to make something for Matt and Poppy, and hadn’t returned until the twins had fallen asleep and Emma had stolen away to her room.

“So, is the wicked witch of the west coast going to be out new boss or not?” Zelda teased, continuing with helping Emma shred some potatoes.

“Honestly-” Emma cut herself off when Keanu walked in, sans shirt and with low riding sweat pants. His hair was a mess, and his good morning was punctuated by a tired yawn. "Good morning Keanu," both women greeted in unison, sharing a look.

They both wanted to know so badly that the itch was almost physical, but it wasn't like they could simply ask. With their one question would come a dozen more from Keanu. Though, as faith would have it, the truth they were seeking wasn't far behind a still half asleep Mr. Reeves.

"Darling," an all too familiar voice purred, shuffling into the kitchen, her blonde hair held up in a loose ponytail and her elegant frame wrapped up in fine satin. Unlike Keanu, Miranda didn't even bother with pleasantries, going straight over to where he stood at the integrated refrigerator, holding him in a hug from behind, strategically angling her left hand so the large rock on her finger would be on full display.

"Still wanna know?" Emma whispered near Zelda's ear, their heads almost touching.

Scoffing, Zelda seemed caught between a sarcastic smirk and a frown, "Not any more."

And because the world was such a cruel place and open wounds would be pointless without a little salt, Miranda abruptly turned to them. "Ladies! Have you two seen my ring?" Without warning she thrust her hand towards them, making the engagement ring on her finger hard to avoid, "Gorgeous right? Keke loves to spoil me," her words were perfectly gag worthy and Emma was finding it difficult to keep down the half cup of coffee she'd had. It wasn't like she was opposed to love or affection or anything, she'd really liked to think of herself as well adjusted in that way, but during the one weekend she'd spent around Miranda, her affections for Keanu always seemed so dramatic that it was nothing short of an elaborate farce.

Yet, it wasn't like she had much of a choice when it came to going forward and having to endure it. Jobs in the fashion world were hard to come by and freelancing would hardly be enough to cover living expenses. So, alas, she'd have to put up with Miranda for a quite while to come. "Don't worry Emily," Emma hadn't even realized she'd zoned out until Miranda called her by the wrong name, for probably the dozenth time. At her next words, Miranda's voice dropped below what Keanu could hear, and there was a wicked glimmer in her gaze, "You're pretty enough, I'm sure you can trick a man into buying you a nice ring. Might not be as many carats, but you'll manage."

That little quip was definitely pay back for Saturday. Fuming, Emma longed to just let her have it, but she was growing so versed in holding her tongue that she did again, deciding right then and there that as much as she loved the kids, she was wholly willing to take the next sustaining job as long as Miranda was in the picture.

*****

Tagging- @harrisongslimited @magnificentclodpiebanana @keandrews @greenmanalishi @rdjloverxxx @danceoftwowolves @planetkt @wheretheriversrunintothesea

[elisaphoenix13]

A Day Of Calm

Stephen's heart warmed at the sight before him. He happened to go up to Valerie's room to check and see if the toddler was taking her nap for the day since William had yet to come back down. The teen periodically took his sister up to her room to put her down for her nap, and a story was usually involved, but it never took more than five minutes. Ten had passed so the sorcerer was curious as to why William hadn't returned to the kitchen.

The moment Stephen opened Valerie's bedroom door, he had his answer. William clearly read her a book as he usually did, but this time, it worked on the teen too. He and Valerie were curled close together and the book lay forgotten in the teen's hand which lay behind the little girl. Valerie had one of her hands clutched in William's shirt and was using his arm as a pillow as soft breaths escaped from her. With a soft smile, Stephen silently walks over to retrieve the book and closes it before returning it to the bookcase. He then grabs the throw blanket folded at the end of the bed and gently lays it over them before leaving the room as quietly as he came.

It was nice that Valerie had someone besides him that she enjoyed spending time with. Especially when he was busy. Just now he had his hands full with his Sorcerer Supreme duties so William offered to put her down for her nap. He figured he would try and get some more reading in before the inevitable chaos and sat back down on the couch after grabbing the books he had briefly set down just minutes ago.

The blissful quiet only lasted for about ten minutes of course. Stephen's only warning before the metaphorical storm was the sound of a jingling bell growing in volume before Flynn dashed into the penthouse by way of the stairs. Normally that wouldn't have bothered him, but then Emir followed the kit and chased him around, knocking things over in his attempt to catch Flynn. Athena lifted her head from the large pet pillow she was laying on and watched with a bored expression as the tiger finally scruffed the fox and carried him over to the newly made pet corner.

Emir and Flynn were such frequent visitors to their floor that it was decided that the pets needed their own corner to hang out in, and it truly lived up to its purpose. A corner in the living room that was almost bare was transformed into a comfortable corner full of pet pillows, blankets, Tibb's cat tree, some toys, and even a little curtain to make it like a small room. That last bit had been Diana's idea. The curtains were never closed but they did resemble some form of...privacy. Stephen and Tony weren't sure the animals would care about it, but the moment it was finished and it was shown to the pets, they used it immediately. Every single one of them loved it.

Tibbs was found snoozing on his tree when he wasn't wandering the tower, Athena had a pillow she used, and even Emir had one he shared with Flynn. The fox was known to use the cubby in the tree sometimes too. For now though, it seemed the kit was stuck with Emir and his pillow where the tiger had carried him and laid down with Flynn between his paws so he could groom him.

"If someone told me this would be my life five years ago, I would have laughed in their face." Stephen mumbled as he closed his book.

The elevator opened and the sorcerer looked over just as Steve and Bucky stepped off and joined him in the living room. The winter soldier looked to have bags of pet supplies and his suspicion was confirmed when Bucky reached into one of them and pulled out a bone.

"Are you spoiling my wolf?" Stephen asks and Bucky grins.

"She deserves to be spoiled." He whistles softly to get the wolf's attention and Athena crawls out of the pet corner to approach him. "Such a good girl." He croons and offers her the large bone he had procured which she takes into her mouth.

"We got something for all of them." Steve says . "Not sure how long the bone we got for Emir will last but we got him the biggest one."

Stephen watches in amusement as the couple unload the bags of pet supplies, and not only do they pull out some bones, but they also pull out some jerky, catnip, and a rope. He raises an eyebrow at the last item, but then Flynn crawls out of the corner curiously and carefully approaches Steve and Bucky. The captain opens the bag of jerky and offers a piece to the kit and Flynn sniffs it before snagging it and darting back into the corner to enjoy his treat.

"I thought he might like those." Steve chuckles and tosses the large bone to the corner for Emir. The tiger picks it up and chomps on it once he gets settled comfortably with Flynn against his side, and a loud crack fills the room. The bone definitely wouldn't last long but Emir was enjoying himself.

To Stephen's surprise, so was Athena.

"Do you think Emir would go for catnip?" Bucky asks and Stephen shrugs.

"Maybe. I know Tibbs will."

Said cat was taking his turn inspecting the new presents and when he was offered catnip, he quickly turned into a rolling mess. Tibbs flopped onto his side and rolled from side to side with loud purrs, and the smell was strong enough to garner the tiger's attention. The three men watch curiously as Emir abandons his bone to get up and investigate (Flynn decided he wanted to chew on the bone too and looked hilariously small compared to it), and when the tiger gets a good whiff of the catnip…

...he joins Tibbs in a rolling session.

Emir chuffs and rumbles alongside Tibbs' purring and all three men burst into laughter because it wasn't something one saw every day.

"What did you do to my tiger?" Scott asks and they look over at him.

"Catnip." Steve replies after he manages to calm down.

The thief laughs and walks over to kneel next to Emir and rub his side. "Are you a high kitty? How much did you get?"

"He licked up a good handful after nearly inhaling it." Bucky says.

"Where's Flynn?"

Stephen points to the corner where the fox is still trying to chew on Emir's bone and Scott shakes his head as Quill, Cassie, and Diana enter from the elevator. The girls glance at the cats briefly before going up to Diana's room to do whatever it was they normally did together, and Quill stares for a few moments before laughing.

"Catnip?"

"Yup."

The two couples find a spot on the couches to watch tv after that, and both Tibbs and Emir eventually pass out after coming down from their high. An hour passes in a comfortable quiet as they watch tv, and then Valerie's bedroom door opens to reveal both William and the little girl freshly woken from their nap.

"How was your nap?" Stephen asks them both and William blushes.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep." The teen apologizes.

"You don't need to apologize. You clearly needed it." The sorcerer says as the two descend the stairs. "Would you like an after naptime snack too?" He teases.

"Might as well." William shrugs and joins Valerie at the coffee table.

Stephen chuckles and gets up to prepare their snack. Thankfully it would be relatively simple since William didn't mind sharing his favorite snack with Valerie, so he just had to make a little more than usual. Strawberries and whipped cream were taken out of the fridge and the cutting board was pulled out, but when he grabbed a knife, he realized his hands were shaking. They always shook but sometimes if they shook too much, he didn't risk using sharp knives. His hands had enough scars and he wasn't inclined to add to them.

"Bucky...would you mind…?" Stephen asks softly and the soldier looks over at him and nods.

"Yeah. Of course." Bucky joins him at the counter and carefully takes the knife from Stephen to cut the fruit.

"Just into quarters. They like to scoop the whipped cream." Stephen says as he puts some whipped cream into a bowl.

The strawberries were cut and put into another bowl and Bucky carried both bowls over to the kids and set them on the coffee table. They both thanked him and Stephen before digging in, and Valerie almost immediately got some whipped cream on her cheek. Levi got as excited as a cloak could get and swooped over with the intent to wipe it off, but Athena had beaten it to it and licked it off of the little girl's cheek. Valerie giggles and Levi's lapels sulk, causing Stephen to shake his head.

"You are supposed to be a powerful and ancient relic." Stephen huffs. "You're an unglorified nanny."

"Tea?" Valerie asks and Levi immediately perks up and flies over to the toybox to dig out the tea party set.

"Make sure you record every moment of this for the next master it serves." Quill laughs and Stephen chucks a book at his forehead. "Ow!"

A plastic tea cup followed and also hit the god's head and William almost choked on his food when he laughed.

"The book wasn't enough?!"

Stephen chuckles. "Oh, I didn't make it do that."

Flynn was quick to jump up onto Quill's lap and stood on his hind legs with his paws on the celestial's chest to be able to lick his face. Quill rolled his eyes, but clearly softened when the kit tried to make his "wounds" feel better. Emir woke up a few minutes later but was happy to only move just enough to lay his head in Scott's lap, which made the thief lay back on the floor in defeat. Scott clearly didn't want to go through the trouble of trying to push a tiger off of him.

"Duchess! Lulu is hungry!" Tony says when he arrives with the baby from possibly the lab.

"Then feed her."

"I don't have the natural equipment to do that."

"Neither do I!" Stephen almost screeches and the mechanic cackles as he walks into the kitchen to make Lucy a bottle. "That joke is getting old!"

"I'm still going to milk it for all that it's worth."

William groans.

"I could throw you off of this building and make it look like an accident." Stephen huffs. "I'll be set for life and can have Harley and Peter take over your R&D department."

"I love you too honey."

"Good thing Scotty can't kill me. Even if he could, I don't think he would want to lose access to the fountain of youth and immortality." Quill snickers.

"Honestly, it's just nice knowing that if I ever feel compelled to murder someone, I can just kill you and you'll come back." Scott says. "That's healthy right?"

Both Quill and Bucky burst into laughter while Steve sighs. While it was true, Scott didn't actually like hurting people so it would take a lot to get him to the point of actually wanting to murder someone. Stephen was pretty sure he almost came close when Cassie got hurt. That closeness was still in the "maybe Scott will string them up by their toes" level though. Quill usually got violent for him.

While Tony joined them in the living room to watch tv with the adults, Valerie was playing tea party with William and Levi, and even Athena joined. She just sat by one side of the table and occasionally took a treat from the small plate William set in front of her, but Levi actually hovered nearby with its own little plastic cup and saucer and pretended to take sips. When the kids had a tea party at the Sanctum and Wong saw the cloak participating, he stopped and stared for a good couple of minutes. He then gave Stephen a scandalous look (which the Sorcerer Supreme ignored) before leaving to the Sanctum's library.

Now he didn't pay the tea parties any mind. In fact, Stephen caught him participating in one of the sessions and Wong calmly sipped from his plastic cup before saying,

"She offered me some tea. I thought it would be rude to reject it."

Stephen definitely laughed at a later time, but Wong wasn't offended and still partook in the tea parties on the rare occasion. He would even conjure real tea and snacks and Valerie loved it. Wong was a decent babysitter but Stephen would never call him that to his face.

"Is that weed on my floor?" Tony suddenly asks.

"Cat weed." Steve answers and Bucky laughs again.

Tony looks at Tibbs when he starts to wake and points at him. "I thought I taught you better! No drugs! Emir is being a bad influence on you isn't he?"

"Hey!" Scott exclaims.

"Mrow?" Tibbs answers sleepily.

"Don't lie! I see a piece on your whiskers!"

Stephen sighs. "I would say I can't believe you're giving the cat the drug talk, but that would be a lie."

"I'm sure it doesn't even qualify for the top ten weirdest things you've dealt with." Steve says.

"Not even close."

[stylesnews]

If your quarantine has been anything like mine, Harry Styles content has been the only thing getting you through. At the beginning of the national lockdown, he created a line of shirts and donated the proceeds to coronavirus charities. And last month, he showed solidarity with the Black Lives Matter protests by marching in L.A. and posting about the cause on Instagram. Even more recently, he recorded a sleep story for the Calm app because his fans had been begging for one for so long. Basically, he's been doing what he can during this crazy time, and it's a delight to see.

But back on May 18 (approximately two centuries ago ago), when the sexy and fruit-filled “Watermelon Sugar” music video dropped, Twitter rightfully lost its collective mind. Watching the video was an ~experience~, and it made me wonder what it was like being in it. You know, feeding Harry watermelon, running in the ocean with him, and cracking jokes as the sun set. The video dropped during a time when people were supposed to be avoiding any personal contact. Watching Harry and all the other people in the video rolling around with each other felt almost voyeuristic, and it made me miss living in a time even just a few months ago when touching other people wasn't so scary.

I hadn't stopped thinking about the video in the weeks since, so I decided to do some digging. For your reading pleasure, I talked to five models about the juicy (heh, get it?) details of being in the video.

Most of us scroll through the ’gram to see pics of Harry, but these ladies’ feeds landed them the gig. After putting out a call, the casting director scouted every model on Insta, sending them DMs if they thought they’d be a good fit. Many of them didn't even know the shoot was with Harry at first, only finding out it was him the literal night beforehand.

"I was immediately down to do it when I found out was him," model Elizabeth Tyson says.

Unlike us normal people, these girls balance their day jobs with, you know, spending time with Harry Styles. “I actually didn't even ask my boss if I was going to get [the day] off [for the shoot],” laughs model Mercy Odima, who is also a nanny. “I just replied, and I was like, ‘Yeah. I will be there.’”

That was back in January, and the girls had to keep their mouths shut for literal months until the video premiered on May 18. Can you imagine not being able to tell a single soul about the way Harry suggestively eats a watermelon slice?

By the end of the day, after countless shots where models were not-so-subtly licking watermelon slices and shoving their face (and Harry's) with the very-dense fruit, these ladies could 100 percent live without the watermelon sugar high. “We were like, ‘I can never eat a watermelon ever again!’—we were all sticky, it was dripping,” says Elizabeth. “They must have gone through a hundred watermelons for that shoot.”

And not all of it was so sweet: “I said something like, ‘Did you know that watermelon is actually kind of bad for you if you eat a lot of it? It’s bad for your digestive system,’” Maris says she told Harry. “He was like, ‘Oh, really? I’ve never heard that before.’”

Looking sexy while you feel like Bloat City is a challenge, to be sure. “The last part was us running up and down the beach at sunset,” Maris says. “I had just eaten probably a whole watermelon at that point. I was just praying it didn't come across—I just felt so uncomfortable.”

If it looks like the video is just a massive group hang with friends rolling around on the sand and making orgasmic faces into the camera, that’s because it basically was. “Everything was genuine,” Ephrata says. “They weren't like ‘now laugh’ or ‘now go crazy.' A lot of our scenes are actually us talking.”

Other scenes, though, had more direction. “There was a moment where the directors were like, ‘Okay, we want it to be kind of like an LSD trip,’” Maris laughs. We'll let you try to figure out which scene that is, because, TBH, it could have been any of them.

Overall, all the models agreed it was an incredibly chill experience. “It was probably one of the most natural shoots I've ever been on,” model Aalany McMahan says.

As if there weren’t enough about Harry Styles to fawn over, he also has top-notch nail polish game, as many people know. He ended up matching with one of the models on the set and it became an inside joke.

“Me and him literally had the same polish on,” Ephrata remembers. “We started laughing, and he was like, ‘I think yours is more like a coral.’” Before long, it became an on-set debate: “Everybody was trying to decide what color our nails were,” she laughs.

ICYMI, Harry was recently knighted a “consent king” for asking before he touched Ephrata’s hair. “[The directors] were like ‘You can play with her hair!’ And then he was like, ‘Wait wait wait, are you even cool with that? Is that okay? Are you comfortable with that?’” she remembers.

It meant a lot to her that he took that second to check in (and she later asked him if it was okay to kiss him on the cheek). “That was a moment on set where I was taken aback for just a second, and was like, ‘Wow, he really cares if I’m comfortable. He cares if the other models are comfortable,’” she says.

It goes without saying that a Harry Styles music video is guaranteed to be flirty. I mean, this shoot required the models to lay all over Harry, rest their heads on his shoulders, sexily feed him, etc. Those vibes didn’t stop when the cameras did.

During breaks in shooting, Harry—ever the gentleman—asked the group of models where they were all from. Maris said Wisconsin, which piqued Harry’s attention. “He goes, in his very British accent, ‘Oh, you’re from Wisconsin? Are you a Packers fan?’” she laughs. “I was like, ‘Yes, duh, I’m a Packers fan!’”

Later, as the sun went down on the Malibu beach, Maris tried (unsuccessfully) to hide how cold she was in her bikini. It was January, remember? “In between takes, he kept asking me if I was okay, cause I was shivering,” she reveals. “He was making jokes, like, ‘Oh, you're from Wisconsin, you should be able to deal with this!”

But even for a music video for a song is probably definitely about oral sex, it only went so far as flirting. “There was a group of us who were trying to get him to go out to dinner, but he had plans with someone else,” Maris says. Have fun spiraling while trying to figure out who that someone might be!

Considering his entire brand is "treat people with kindness," it's no surprise Harry was nice on set. That energy started right at the beginning of the shoot. “He was nice enough to come and say 'hi' to us even before we started shooting,” Ephrata recalls. “He came and shook everybody's hand and gave us hugs and was like, ‘Hi, I'm Harry,’ and I was like, ‘Yeah, I know.’”

Throughout the shoot, Elizabeth says he would have conversations, ask questions, and joke around with the models. “Most people, when they hit cut, they just sit there quietly, they don’t interact with you, but he definitely did,” she says. “He’s so laid back. He’s so funny, sweet—he has a personality.”

Many of the models expressed that it was this experience that made them full-fledged stans: “After working with him, I was definitely a bigger fan,” Ephtata says. Welcome to the club, ladies!

[frostsinth]

Royal Flush - Pt. 10

Part 1|2|3|4|5|6|7|8|9 - MasterList - Art - Art - Art - Art - Art - Art - Art - Art (so much Art...)

This chapter brought to you in part by Morgana; Also, every additional part. She’s demanded to be co-director. There’s no way to say “No”. I’m sorry.

I was GOING to wait until tomorrow to post this. But I just finished the cliff hanger at the next chapter, and... just... really wanted to post this part.

I’m thinking that... it might end up being a 12 parter... I’m not sure if there’s anything more than part 12. I’ll know by the time I post part 11, and I’ll let you guys know. The end is in sight, and I do hope that’s ok with everyone... But buckle in. It won’t be an easy ride.

Check out my MasterList above for more stories. Want your own, or some art? DM me for details! Check out the #Royal Flush for more notes/art/blurbs about these two bumbling fools.

“Excuse me…umm, sir goblin.”

A momentary pause, followed by a polite if hesitant; “Yes, My Lady?”

“I beg your pardon, but you are the King, yes?”

My heart skipped like a smooth stone across still waters. I eased down the last few steps, walking lightly to stand at the corner. Peering around it. Grier stood with his back to me, and Morgana before him with her hands on her hips. She wasn’t much shorter than him, but still had to tilt her chin up to meet his gaze. I started to round the corner, eager to tell both of them the good news and pleased they were in the same place. But curiosity stilled my feet, something about the determination set into her youthful face, and I lingered momentarily. Not quite hidden… that wouldn’t be very Princely. But they would have to look particularly hard to make me out behind the marble pillars...

“That I am.” I could hear the tiny smile in Grier’s voice. “... Can I be of service?”

“I demand an audience then, Your Majesty.” I almost groaned at her abruptness, and studied her little face for a moment. Intelligent and fierce…. I couldn’t deny it warmed my heart.

Grier hesitated again, but then offered her a small bow. “But of course, Princess. I am at your service… Shall we sit?”

“You know who I am?” She sounded a little surprised, causing her to lose focus momentarily as she followed him to the benches lining the courtyard with a skipping step. I paced a few feet closer. From this angle I could make out both their faces from the side, as long as they were looking forward. But only Morgana’s when they looked at each other.

“Yes… Your brother speaks of you all the time.”

I saw her bottom little lip come out into that stubborn pout of hers. “You mean to say Prince Nikostratus, Your Majesty.” She corrected him, tossing her head slightly so that her soft cloud of curls bounced around her. “You must be more specific. I have two brothers, you know.”

“Yes, forgive me, Princess. I do mean Nikostratus.” I could hear the smirk in his voice.

“Prince Nikostratus.” She corrected again. “You should always use titles, Your Majesty.”

He shrugged his shoulders lightly. “Should I? I’ve never much cared for them.”

I saw another flash of surprise on her face. “... Goblins don’t have titles?”

“We have them.” He replied. “But I think they sound silly to say every time you speak to someone. Takes a lot of extra time that could be spent doing something more fun.”

She thought that over for a second. “... Oh... “ She tilted her head to the side. “I didn’t know Kings liked to have fun... So… What do I call you?”

He chuckled. “I most certainly do, at least. And Grier is fine.” His head tilted to the side. “That is my name, after all. Not ‘King’. Not ‘Your Majesty’.” The goblin looked briefly around the courtyard while she chewed that thought over. Then turned back to her. “And what may I call you?” 

“I am Princess Morgana Delarosa Marie of Geriveria.” She declared, sounding a little proud and puffing up her tiny chest. But then she hesitated, looking up at him thoughtfully. “... But you can call me Morgana, I suppose.”

“Alright then, Morgana,” He replied, and I could hear that his smile had returned to his lips, “What did you want to talk to me about?”

“...Your teeth are all pointy.”

“This is true.”

“Are all goblin teeth pointy?”

“Yes, they are.”

“Do you bite your tongue a lot? Is it hard to chew?” I could hear the curiosity in her voice building. It made me smile.

“Not more often than you might, I would suppose. And no, I can chew quite well. I rather find I enjoy eating.” He cocked his head to the side, amusement lacing his voice. “Is that all you wanted to ask me?”

“No…” She glanced down at her feet, kicking them back and forth for a moment where they dangled off the edge of the bench. “... You’re supposed to marry Niko… right?”

I felt myself stiffen, and my breath caught in my throat as I saw Grier’s head bob slightly in a small nod. “If he’ll have me, yes… Is that alright with you?”

A sudden scowl formed on her lips, and she crossed her little arms over her chest. “No. It’s not.”

I almost broke from my hiding spot at her words. But to my surprise, Grier bowed his head, placing one hand lightly over his heart.

“Forgive me. I am sorry to hear that.” He raised his head slightly. “May I ask why?”

Her scowl deepened. “Because he’s my brother. And I don’t know you! How do I know if he’ll like you? How do I know you’re not going to be mean to him?”

“Well, that is a very good point.” He mused, nodding slightly. “Perhaps if you knew me better, I might be able to earn your permission to marry him. Yes?”

She seemed to think that over for a moment. “... Yeah. That makes sense.”

“What would you like to ask first then, Princess?”

“... I can ask you questions? You don’t mind?”

“Of course! How else do you get to know someone?”

She didn’t even think about that for more than a moment. “You watch them. You listen to what they say, especially if it's not to you, and how they act. You see how they treat people who can’t give them anything.”

“That’s… very astute of you.” Grier sounded surprised.

“A tute?”

“Oh… Astute.” He cleared his throat, chuckling lightly.  “It means… wise. Observant.”

She shuffled her skirts, tilting her head to the side. “You can’t ask questions at court.” Her voice had a practiced patience to it, as if she were the one speaking to a child, and not the other way around. “You can’t say what you’re thinking. People are... mean about it.” Morgana looked up at him through her lashes. “I’m not ever allowed to speak; father says because I’m a Princess… And Val says because I’m still a little girl... But Niko taught me how to learn about people, even if you can’t talk to them.” She kicked her feet back and forth. “Niko says that I should always ask questions. Even if I’m told not to ask them out loud.” She smiled. “He says that if you have a question, you should find the answer, especially if you aren’t allowed to ask the question. He says it must be important, otherwise you wouldn’t have the question in the first place!”

There was silence for a moment, and I wondered what Grier’s face looked like. I could picture it, in my mind’s eye. Long pointed nose, heavy brow. Scarlet eyes and thin lips. But I couldn’t tell what shape his sharp features were forming. No matter how much I stared at the back of his head.

“Then your brother is… very wise.” His voice sounded warm, and my heart fluttered.

“Very a-tute?”

Grier snorted, amused. “Yes, a very astute Prince… But you can ask me questions if you want to. I promise I’ll answer them.”

I heard her soft ‘hmmm’ and almost smiled, leaning against the marble pillar as I listened quietly. I felt a little guilty, not announcing myself. Overhearing such a private conversation. But my curiosity was just too great to resist.

“Do goblins eat people?”

Grier laughed loudly at that. “Of course not! Who told you they did?”

She shrugged her little shoulders. “My old nanny told me that once. But Niko didn’t like her much. I think he dismissed her, but he won’t tell me.” She looked back at Grier. “Do you live in a castle? Will Niko have to live with you?”

He nodded. “I do live in a castle, built into the side of a mountain. And yes… I would very much like for Nikostratus to live with me.”

“Do you have any children?”

“No, I do not.”

“How about sisters? Or brothers?” He shook his head. “If you’re King, does that mean your parents are dead? My father’s parents are dead, and the court says Val won’t be King until my father dies too.”

I would have groaned had I not been making such an effort to remain unseen. Grier gave a quiet chuckle. “My father passed away when I was little, but my mother is still alive.”

“She is?” Her voice sounded curious again, then she fell quiet for a moment. “... My mother died when I was a baby.”

“I am sorry. That must be hard.”

She shrugged again. “I don’t remember her. And Niko doesn’t talk about her much… I think she makes him sad. But I don’t know why.”

“Sometimes, when you love someone, even though they make you happy, not being able to see them makes you sad.” He explained softly. “Sometimes we don’t want to talk about them, because we don’t want to be reminded that we miss them.”

Morgana nodded, kicking her legs again. “... Not seeing Niko makes me sad…” She mumbled quietly, and I felt my heart stop a little at her words. “... I don’t want him to move away forever.”

“I don’t want to take him away from you… But…” He hesitated, and I saw her glance back up at him. “... Being away from him makes me sad too.”

She thought about that. “Does that mean you love him?”

“Yes, I do.” I flushed hot at his words, at his confidence, and shifted restlessly. “... Do you think maybe we can share him?”

“Hmmm.” She looked at him out the side of her eyes. “... Do you like to read?”

He nodded. “Yes. I like to read stories and epic sagas.” He grinned. “If I can sit still long enough to finish them.”

A small smile flicked over her lips briefly. “I like to read too… Do you like to fight? What weapon do you use?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say I like to fight, but I can hold my own.” He replied, leaning back on his hands. “And I like to fight with a rapier. What about you?”

“Father says Princesses shouldn’t be fighting. Princesses should be learning to dance and play instruments and other fine things.” She said, as if reciting from a book. Then she leaned closer conspiratorially. “But Niko taught me to wrestle. And Val is showing me how to use a bow.” She told him in a low whisper.

He chuckled. “Very wise of your brothers. Everyone should be allowed to learn about whatever they want. No matter if they are Princes, or Princesses... Or goblins.” She giggled, smiling up at him. “What else do you like to do?”

“I like to explore. I know every corner of this castle! And I like to climb.” She told him excitedly. “I know how to climb down from my bedroom window and over the castle wall without anyone seeing me!” She stopped suddenly, and hesitated, as if worried he would scold her.

“Well now,” He exclaimed, smirking, and her smile returned, “That is quite mischievous. Are you certain you are not a goblin?” She giggled again. “You would fit right in.”

“... What do goblins like to do for fun?”

He shrugged slightly. “It depends on the goblin, I suppose, just like it depends on the human you ask.”

“What about you, then?”

“I like to talk.” She grinned at him, and I could hear the smile in his voice and imagined he must be making a silly expression based upon the way her eyes lit up. “I like meeting new people. I like holding grand parties and learning about new places. I like to collect exotic and colorful things.”

“Have you been many places?” Her curiosity had completely flooded her face and voice now, and she leaned towards him eagerly.

“A fair few. I can tell you about them sometime, if you’d like.” He returned, then I saw his wild hair shift as he cocked his head to one side. “So? How am I doing?” She shifted, pursing her little lips again as if she just remembered she was supposed to be scowling. “... Do you think I might be good enough for your brother?”

Morgana thought about that for a second, tapping the bench with her fingertips. “I don’t know… Niko doesn’t really like any of those things.” She grinned. “He hates meeting new people.”

Grier laughed again. “I have seen that… Well, you’ve known him longer than me. What does he like?”

Her smile returned. “He likes to read, like me. He hides in the library when he wants to be alone. I think he likes it when it’s quiet, but he never seems to mind when I’m there too.” She seemed to bounce in her seat, getting more excited with every word. “And he likes riding, and fighting. The generals all hate him because he can beat them all up. He also likes playing chess. He always beats me at chess.” She tilted her head to the side, thinking. “I don’t know if he likes to, but I like when he hums. He knows a lot of songs.”

“Does he now?” I didn’t like the conspiratorial tone he took, and felt a cold wave wash through me as I wondered how the goblin might use that particular tidbit against me. “I hope I get to hear that someday.”

“He only does it when he thinks he’s alone.” She told him. “When he’s happy, and sometimes when he’s trying to do something very difficult.” Her smile nearly ate up her face. “He says it helps him think sometimes.”

“Well, I don’t believe I’ve ever heard a more sound logic.” His amusement had my face growing hot. I thought about slipping away then. Maybe going around the outside of the courtyard to the other side and pretending I hadn’t heard all this.

“...He doesn’t hum anymore.”

“...No?” 

She shook her head sadly. “He used to hum a lot when I was littler. At least when no one was around. Then he… well… He went away for a while. And when he came back, he stopped humming…”

“Where did he go?” I stiffened at his words, and the quiet sadness in them, shaking my head. I didn’t want to hear this. Didn’t want to be reminded. I gritted my teeth and started to make my quiet escape.

“No one will tell me. But father was very mad when he came back… Val says maybe when I’m older... Niko doesn’t talk about it.”

“I am sorry… It must not have been a very nice place.” I was nearly back to the base of the stairs. “But maybe we can make him happy again, yes? ...Do you think maybe... I could make him happy enough to start humming again?”

I froze in my retreat, my heart thudding. Morgana was studying him thoughtfully when I checked back over my shoulder at them. “... Yeah. You seem nice… I think Niko would like you.” Her grin returned. “But if you want to make him really happy, you have to make him cookies.”

“Cookies?” He echoed in surprise.

She nodded. “Yeah. Niko loves fresh baked lemon cookies. And knives! Get him lots of pretty knives.” Morgana jumped up to her feet, bouncing up and down lightly. “He also likes lilies.” She skipped over to the patch by the wall, pointing them out. “Like these. Though he always says that flowers are supposed to be enjoyed where they live…” She dropped off, her lips pursing as a thought suddenly seemed to occur to her. “I think maybe he told me that so I would stop picking flowers in the Royal Gardens… He seems not to mind when I bring him wildflowers.”

“My dear Morgana, you have given me lots of good advice.” I flushed again at the grin in his voice, and could almost picture it on his lips. “I look forward to utilizing it. I should take your counsel more often. I don’t think anyone knows how to make Nikostratus happier than you.”

“Yeah well…” She slowly walked back over, sitting upon the bench once more, “... I think Niko already likes you a lot… I saw the way he looked at you in the throne room.”

“What do you mean?” He sounded surprised again, and I flushed darker, silently begging Morgana into silence. “He looked… ah… very serious.”

She scoffed, obviously not having heard my prayer. “Well, of course! You can’t let anyone know what you’re thinking; it’s like a game, but it’s not very fun. You have to put on a fake face, and then you keep that face up, until you leave. Niko’s very good at it.” She put her hands on her hips, puffing up her chest. “But I know Niko. I can see through his fake face.”

“... And what did you see?” He sounded curious despite himself.

She drooped a bit, looking up at him. She brought up a finger to bite at the nail. “When he was worried about something, he would look at you. And he took attacks meant for you, and stood in front of you when... when someone looked like they might try to be mean.” She dropped her hand. “That’s what he does for me. So that must mean he likes you. Cuz I know he loves me.”

“I see…” I couldn’t quite fathom the tone he replied with, but it made my heart flutter. I swallowed hard. There was not much more I could take of this. “So… does that mean you’ll share your brother with me?”

“I guess I have to, huh? Since he seems to like you… But you seem fun, so that’s ok...” Morgana stopped suddenly, looking down at her hands in her lap. “... Can I come with you to your castle?”

He hesitated, shifting in his seat. “... What did Nikostratus say?”

She sighed. “Last time I asked he said ‘when I’m older’. But I was thinking about it, and I am older now than when he told me that.”

Grier rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, we would both love to have you come to the castle with us… But we’d need to ask your father.”

Morgana groaned, dropping her head back. “I thought you were a King too! Why can’t you just order them to let me come with you?”

“I may be King, but that doesn’t mean I always get to do whatever I want.”

“It doesn’t?”

He shook his head. “No. It means I have a big responsibility. To protect my people. To always do what’s right for them. I have the power to make the world a better place. I can’t use that power to be selfish all the time.” He nudged her foot with his. “Otherwise I wouldn’t be a very good King, or a very good person.” I heard his smile returning. “And if I’m not a good person, I can’t marry Nikostratus…. Which I very much want to do.”

Morgana fell silent, thinking about that. “... Niko is a Prince, you know... and he’s a very good Prince.” She told Grier quietly. “But… Sometimes I think he’s too good. Sometimes…” She hesitated, and I saw his head bob to encourage her on. “... Sometimes I think everything he does … is just to make other people happy. He doesn’t do things to make himself happy…” She kicked her feet back and forth again, looking down at her once polished shoes, now scuffed with dirt. “I thought… Maybe if he wasn’t a Prince anymore… if he was just a regular adult… He might get to be happy.” She looked up at him. “Or I thought maybe… since you are a King, he could be a King. And then he could finally do what he wants…” She smiled sadly. “And I think he wants me to come stay with him. But he can’t. Because a good Prince doesn’t disobey his King…”

My heart ached, and I looked down at my feet. Feeling heavy for having laid such worries on the shoulders of my precious little sister. I had thought I was hiding it well from her. Thought I was keeping her safe, and happy… I should have known she was far too perceptive to believe those little white lies I told her all along. Though honestly… perhaps they had always been more for my benefit than hers. I rubbed at the back of my neck, swallowing hard.

“You are the light of your brother’s life,” Grier assured her, his voice soft but firm, “He told me himself. He wants you to come back with us. To stay with us…” He sighed. “The fact that he must choose between you and me is the only weight on my own happiness right now… I wish he did not. And if it were up to me… I would tell him to choose you. Because no one makes him happier than you do. And you’re right… he doesn’t do the things he should to make himself happy.”

“I’d tell him to choose you!” She argued, putting her hands on her hips. “Because I think you can make him happy too. I’ve seen it! And I’ll be a grown up soon, and I’ll go off and fight dragons and see far off places…” She looked up at him through her dark lashes, seeming far older than her nine years in that moment. “But you’ll stay with him. And make him happy when I’m gone.”

I could take no more, and composed myself. Kicking the gravel beneath my boots loudly to announce my presence.

“And where, praytell, little chickadee, do you think you are going?” I asked, my voice stern, stepping out from behind the pillars and striding forward as if I had just come down the stairs. “And what’s this about ‘dragons’ I hear?”

“Niko!” She nearly squeaked, bounding from the bench and sprinting over.

I scooped her up in my arms, hardly breaking stride. Giving her the proper hug I had longed to give her since I had first seen her at court... All the tighter for having overheard them. My heart was heavy, and my head swirled with their words. But I couldn’t keep the small smile from my face as she wrapped her arms about my neck, squeezing so tightly I had to reach up a hand to loosen her death grip in order to breathe properly. Grier stood more slowly, and I saw a small smile on his own face as he turned towards us. I walked over to him, my smile suddenly fading into a shy shadow of its former self as I remembered my last words to him. My eyes dropped to our feet, and I swallowed nervously.

“... I hope you aren’t telling the goblin King all my secrets, little chickadee?” I intoned, my voice as light as I could manage it given the circumstances. I stepped out into the courtyard proper and watched Grier sidle a few steps closer. “Though... I am glad you two have been able to make each other’s acquaintance.”

I hoped he noticed the softness of my tone. The words I didn’t have the strength to speak. I hoped the weight of my guilty conscience didn’t leak into my voice. I chanced a peek at him through my dark lashes.

“Oh, just a few dark secrets.” Grier scoffed, teasing with a wave of his hand, and I felt a little tension leave my shoulders at it. “Nothing important, I’m sure.”

Morgana giggled at the exchange, finally leaning back to look at me properly. “I like him, Niko. He’s fun, and he’s nice. Just like you said he was in your letters.”

My face flushed darker.  “W-well, if you like him, I-I suppose that is the highest accolade he can receive.” I replied, trying to pretend Grier wasn’t now grinning like a fool at my elbow. “... What was this I heard about a ‘dragon’?” Pretending that was all I had overheard.

“The Princess was just regaling me with her plans to go on adventures to far off lands.” Grier recapped, placing his hands on his hips.

“Is that so?” I looked at her and she smiled, nodding eagerly. “Hmmm. Do you think you could postpone them for a bit?” My small smile twitched with my excitement. “That is... if you still want to come back with us to the goblin castle of course.”

Her eyes went wide, and then her own lips broke into a bright toothed grin. Her responding squeal was so loud it hurt my ear drums and I winced. I would have said something, but had to instead gasp for air as she flung herself back at me, wrapping her little arms tightly around my neck. I glanced over at Grier as she bounced and wiggled in her excitement, and I saw surprise in his own face.

“You mean it, Niko?? I can come?? Father said yes??” She cried.

I had to pry her loose again in order to have enough air for a response. “Valerianus is sending for your things as we speak.” I told her, and glanced at Grier to see if he caught my wording. I saw his lips purse slightly, and my heart skipped. But then he nodded. “We can leave now, if you’re ready.” I breathed with relief, though I wasn’t exactly sure which of them I was asking.

Morgana was of course the one to answer. “YES! YES!” She squealed. “COME ON THEN! Let’s go! Ohmygosh I’m SO EXCITED!!”

I managed a quiet laugh, despite my anxiousness. She wriggled and bounced even more in my arms, but I suddenly felt afraid to put her down. As if she might dart off, or alert the wrong person to our plans. I glanced at Grier again, and he placed his hand on my elbow briefly. As much as he dared while we were here. I was surprised to find an ache forming at the thought of the goblin restraining himself. As I had learned to do. Again I found myself filled with an eagerness to leave. Be gone from these walls before they suffocated the brightness in his scarlet eyes and chiseled him into stone like me. I clutched my sister closer to me, hoping it wasn’t too late to keep the same fate from befalling her, nodding to him again.

I led the way out of the courtyard and back to the main gates. I was pleased to see the goblins appear, as if out of thin air, lining the path and following us back. I knew they must have been guarding and watching their King, perhaps even me, from the shadows. Now they emerged, their small bodies surrounding us… it made me feel a little safer. I wondered briefly how long Lord Tipp had lasted as Grier’s host, as he was of course no where to be seen, but decided that would be a question for another time. Morgana babbled a thousand questions of her own, endlessly bouncing and twisting in my arms. I still didn’t dare put her down, and tried my best to respond to her as much as I was able, as I was still consumed with worry. Afraid that my hopes would be crushed, and the light of my life would be ripped from my arms before we could whisk her away to safety.

I caught sight of Valerianus as we approached the carriage, squaring off with Damjan. I swallowed hard, my heart skipping a beat. But when he glanced over at us, he merely nodded. I felt my knees quiver a little as I slowly and reluctantly placed Morgana back on the ground. She bounded over to our older brother, beaming widely and dancing from foot to foot. My ears were far too full of my pounding heart to hear their quiet exchange. Morgana jumped up to hug Valerianus, wrapping her arms as far around his waist as they would go. His mask twitched at the edges for a moment, and he looked surprised. Then his face softened, ever so slightly, and his big hand gently stroked her head.

His eyes met mine again as she broke away, skipping over to the carriage door. I vaguely heard Damjan’s boisterous laugh, presumably in response to something Morgana must have said to him. But my eyes were focused on my brother as I approached him, Grier at my side. I stopped in front of him, mask back in place. Shoulders squared. I bowed my head in deference to him, and he snapped his heels together. Dipping into a bow as well.

“Your Majesty,” He addressed Grier, as was to be expected, “There are no words in our language that would fully express our gratitude for your aid. However, know that you are most welcome in our halls anytime.”

Grier dipped his head slightly, placing one hand over his heart. “Thank you, Prince Valerianus. I do appreciate that.” He nodded to the outer wall of the castle. “Though we must take our leave, my people will stay, until the last of your citizens have been seen to. I shall make sure one comes to see to yourself, as well as any willing members of Court.”

 The Crown Prince nodded, murmuring another quiet exchange of thanks. There was a pause, and I could see Valerianus hesitating. I peeked up at him, a little surprised, but kept my head bowed. Looking at him from just the corners of my eyes. Grier seemed to notice his pause as well, and raised a slender eyebrow. 

“Speak your mind, Your Highness. I assure you I will take no insult.”

Valerianus cleared his throat as he slowly straightened, tucking his hands behind his back lightly. Peering down his nose at the goblin with a stern expression. “I hope you will pardon my belatedness on the matter…” He started, then hesitated again briefly. “... However, I feel it is my responsibility as the elder brother to warn you to treat Prince Nikostratus well-” My ears suddenly flamed hot “-Should you fail to do so, I shall not hesitate to use all resources at my disposal to avenge any unkindness you have shown him.”

Grier’s grin was nearly unbearable, and I saw my brother shift slightly in light of it. “Your Highness, allow me to reassure you that I will do everything in my power to make sure Prince Nikostratus is treated as he deserves. You need never fear this.” He dipped his head again, and his tone became more serious. “It is my solemn vow... and my greatest wish... to see him happy.”

Valerianus nodded, his mask returning, and he bowed deeply at the waist. “Thank you, Your Majesty. For that, I am in your eternal debt.” His eyes broke protocol, flicking over to me. 

He cleared his throat again, straightening slowly. I felt my cue to rise, and did so slowly. Almost afraid to look up at him. Not sure how to feel in that moment, and feeling my entire face in an absolute blaze of heat despite my otherwise masked emotions. Valerianus nodded to me, then dipped his head.

“I shall send word when the… situation has changed, and it is safe for Morgana to return.” He told me. “And I can rest easy knowing there is no safer place for her in the wide world than in your care… brother.” I dipped my head in response, still flushed in the wake of the most tender platitudes he had ever offered me, and we exchanged a soft farewell. Then the Crown Prince gave a final formal bow, turned on heel once more, and marched back to the castle.

“You know,” I jumped at Grier’s voice as he returned to his place at my side and we watched my brother’s departure, “I’ve decided I rather like that man after all.”

My tongue felt heavy in my mouth, but I offered a slow nod. “... Me too.”

I jumped again as his hands curled around my elbow. “You’re still my favorite Prince though.” He assured me, grinning up at me like a fool. My flush renewed and my lips worked uselessly at the air for a moment.

“NIKO!” Came Morgana’s impatient shout, breaking the moment. I turned to see her standing in the doorway of the carriage. She stomped her foot for emphasis. “Let’s go, Niko! I wanna see the castle!”

I almost groaned, but settled for a small shake of my head as Grier laughed beside me. He tugged my arm, jerking his own head towards the carriage and leading the way. Damjan smirked at me as we passed him by.

“‘Niko’ is it, Your Highness?” He mused. I shot him a sour look out the corner of my eye, and he laughed as well, closing the carriage door behind us and taking up position at the rear.

Once we were settled inside, Morgana darted from window to window and seat to seat as the carriage bounced us out of the city. More than once she clambered over my lap, and I was pretty sure she stepped on Grier’s toes at least twice in her eagerness. But he merely laughed again, his scarlet eyes full of light. I wondered at that for a time. Wondered if everything that had passed since the last time we had sat in this carriage negated the lingering uncertainty I felt. Wondered if he had already forgotten how I had hurt him in that moment… I finally started to relax as the castle slowly faded into the distance, and felt a bit of the stone drop away from me as I watched my sister bound about in her excitement.

It took nearly two hours for her to settle, and another hour after that for her questions to slow. It was after sunset as we approached the walls of the goblin city, and Morgana had finally fallen into a quiet doze. Resting against my shoulder, her fingers and legs still twitching every now and then. I stroked her hair back out of her face, stifling a deep sigh.

“You can relax, my young Prince.” The King mused, leaning back against his seat.

I glanced at him, surprised. “I beg your pardon?”

He smiled, almost timidly, but no less warm. “... We’re back in our own kingdom now. You can relax. We’re safe amid our people… and Morgana is safe with us.”

I looked down at her, and felt my features soften. I pushed her hair out of her face again, and my lips twitched. “... It feels like a dream… I wasn’t sure it would ever be possible.”

“I’m certainly looking forward to seeing that more.”

Again, I looked at him in surprise. “... Seeing what?”

He pointed, his own lips curling into another warm shape. “That. Your smile… it lights up your whole face.” The goblin leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “Now that Morgana is here… I hope that you can be happy… truly happy. Without the weight of her absence on you. I did promise your brother, after all.”

I peeked up at him through my dark lashes, feeling my face flush again. “O-oh. Yes… I-I mean… I mean that… th-that yes… of course I… I-I…” I stammered uselessly.

He chuckled, and his lips split to bare his sharp teeth mischievously. “I see I have you all flustered again.” His head cocked to the side. “I’ll take that as a good sign.”

The carriage came to a halt, and I quickly used it as an excuse to scoop Morgana up in my arms to avoid further discussion. Grier led the way out, and as I stepped out into the cool night I felt her stirring in my arms.

“Are we there?” She asked, blinking up at me sleepily and rubbing at one eye with her fist. “Are we at the castle?”

“Yes, but it’s late.” I told her. “We should get you to bed. You can see the castle tomorrow.”

“Nooo!” She whined softly. “I want to see-” She was halted by a wide mouthed yawn, and I shifted her in my grip.

“You’ll have plenty of time to explore. After you get some sleep.” I told her, and my voice left no room for argument.

Morgana sighed, settling back into my arms without further protest. Grier smirked, then led the way through the halls up to the tower chambers. I felt her turning her head about as we went, her eyes wide and curious despite their sleepy edges. An attendant followed alongside us with a light, and her head twitched back and forth as she tried to take in as much as she could while we walked. Even going so far as to clamber up and dangle over the back of my shoulder.

“She can stay with me tonight,” I told Grier, adjusting easily to her antics, “We’ll get her proper rooms in the morning... if that’s alright.”

He nodded. “But of course.”

“Is it a big castle?” She asked, twisting to look at the goblin King. “Are there lots of rooms? Can I have a window that looks at the city? Will I have a goblin lady to help me?”

“Chickadee,” I sighed patiently, shaking my head, “Haven’t you asked enough questions for today?”

“No.”

Grier laughed at that, pausing at the door to my chambers to glance over his shoulder at us. “It is a very big castle.” He told her, pushing open the door and stepping aside to let us pass. “I have a few young noble ladies in mind who would be pleased to be your lady in waiting. You can meet them tomorrow. And I’m afraid I can’t get you rooms that overlook the city… as most of it is under our feet.”

She gasped with delight, and craned herself to look at our feet as I carried her through the foyer. As if she could see through the stone beneath us. Seoc appeared, lighting a few candles and opening the curtains to let the moonlight in. I nodded to him appreciatively, and he gave me a cheery grin before disappearing back into the hall.

“These are your rooms Niko?” She asked, looking around as I brought her over to the bed. She frowned. “Why are they so empty? Where’s all your stuff?” She didn’t wait for me to answer, spinning to look at Grier. “Where are your rooms?” She bounded back up to her knees even as I put her down on the bed. “Are they nearby? Did you move your stuff to his room? Is that why it’s empty here? Do you sleep together?”

There was a loud CLONK as my head hit the side of the bedpost when I jerked sharply at her words. I sputtered uselessly as my face flushed and I struggled to keep my balance, rubbing at the back of my head. Over my shoulder, Grier had started laughing so hard he had doubled over. I shot him a look that he didn’t see, as he was too busy wiping tears from his eyes.

“What’s so funny??” Morgana demanded, obviously wanting in on the joke she thought she was missing. “You told me you were getting married, Niko. Married people have the same bed, don’t they?” She cocked her head to the side. “Are you sure you’re getting married? I haven’t seen you guys kiss or anything. Don’t married people kiss? Is it because you’re boys? Do boys not kiss? I thought you liked him? Niko, why is your face all red? Niko-”

“AL-ALRIGHT, that’s it!” I managed to sputter out finally, then clenched my jaw. I spun, pointing one stern finger at Grier, still bent in half in stitches. “YOU, out.” Then set my point on Morgana. “YOU, bed.”

Now it was the goblin’s turn to sputter. “Well, hold on just a moment, I’m the King here, you cannot…” He stopped short in his objection at the look I shot him. Clamping his mouth shut. After a breath, he gave me a small, sheepish grin. “I’ll just… wait outside for a minute, shall I?”

“But Niiiko!” came Morgana’s responding whine as Grier left the room, “I’m not tired at all!”

Her efforts of denial were sabotaged by another wide yawn, and I smirked a little through my flush as I removed her shoes and stockings. Placing them neatly on the ground by the side of the bed. She sighed, relenting without further fight, and fell back into the pillow. Luckily, the girl never wore anything remotely restricting, so I didn’t feel too bad about her sleeping in her current attire. I would be sure to get her a proper nightgown for the next evening, if one hadn’t been packed for her. I pushed her hair back out of her face, running my thumb by her eye. She smiled up at me, snuggling herself down into the blankets.

“Would you like me to tell you a story?” I asked her, my voice soft.

She scoffed, rolling her eyes. “I told you, Niko, I’m not a baby. I don’t need you to tell me stories anymore... Are you going to sleep too?” A little frown twitched across her lips. “Do goblins sleep? Does the King even have a bed? Do-”

“Please, little chickadee,” I interrupted her exasperatedly, giving her head a gentle squeeze beneath my oversized palm, “Enough questions for now.”

“But-”

“Tell you what,” I stopped her again, “You go ahead and make a list, up here-” I tapped her temple “-And I’ll answer every single one of them in the morning. And any new ones you think of by then.” I smirked. “It’ll be like counting sheep. Ok?”

She thought about that for a moment, pushing my hand away. “... Ok.”

She snuggled deeper into the blankets, seeming to think things over. I watched her eyes start to droop, and she yawned again. I started to stroke her hair. Sending all my gratitude to every possible listening patron or god for letting me have that moment. I didn’t care who took credit. I was just so thankful, I needed the universe to know. 

“... Niko?”

I resisted the urge to sigh. “Yes, chickadee?”

“... You like Grier, right?” She looked up at me through her dark lashes, then yawned again. “You’re not just marrying him because it’ll make people happy, right?”

I stiffened, and my hands slowed. I thought about that for a quiet moment. And about what she had said in the courtyard to the goblin. I wasn’t sure I had ever been so clearly forced to recognize that aspect of myself before. I wanted to deny it, but... My heart ached a little, and I felt my head swirl… Did I like him? Or was it merely just the first time I had allowed myself to like someone? I knew he made my heart race, and I couldn’t fully deny the presence of a warm feeling that was beyond just a physical attraction. I had been suppressing the latter for so long; I knew it for what it was. I had never acted upon it before, or even remotely felt the opportunity to. Save for once, and it had blown up in my face… But… Did that mean I liked him?... Certainly, he was a good person… I didn’t dislike him in any way, I knew that… And I knew that was not what she meant, either.

I adjusted my jaw, realizing I had left her question hanging for far too long. So I ran my thumb lightly along her temple. And answered as honestly as I could.

 “...Yeah, chickadee… I think I do like him.”

She smirked. “I knew it... But I wanted to make sure you did too.”

I shook my head, releasing the heavy sigh I had withheld before. She giggled, then yawned again. I sat by her side, stroking her hair, until her eyes drifted closed and her breathing deepened. It didn’t take long. I moved carefully to stand, so as to not wake her, and snuck out of the room. Grier stood against the wall by the door in the foyer, fidgeting with his usual impatience. I glanced at him warily, then back over my shoulder, before jerking my head to gesture for him to follow me.

I didn’t dare go very far, but hoped standing in the doorway of the next room would be enough to keep our voices from waking her. Grier crossed his arms, leaning on the door frame and craning his neck back to look up at me.

“All settled then?” He asked quietly.

I sighed tiredly, glancing back over to the door of my bedroom. “If she ever is.” He chuckled at that, and I returned my attention to him. Reaching up and rubbing at the back of my neck. “... I’ll be staying here tonight.” I mumbled, uncertain if I needed to tell him, or what I was implying might have been the alternative had I not, and my face flushed again as I did.

He grinned, but nodded. “I assumed as much. I don’t mind of course.” He tilted his head to the side and his smile grew a little more. “I just hope the castle is still in one piece by the time I wake up tomorrow.”

I scoffed quietly, glancing back over to the bedroom. “No guarantees on that.”

“You know…” I started slightly at his hand as it came up to brush my neck. “... A little bird told me that you might like me...” 

His voice was only enriched by his light teasing tones, but I still flushed a little darker at his words. So he had been listening... I looked down at him shyly, and felt that strange surge of warmth in my chest at the sight of his scarlet eyes. I hesitated, unable to resist shuffling a little as he skimmed his thumb along my jaw.

“... A-about earlier…I mean… This morning...” I started to mumble, more than a little distracted by his hand. “In the carriage. I-”

“I understand…” He interrupted. “And I’m not mad, or upset with you... I’m…” The goblin paused, chewing over his words for a moment. “... We can talk more later, when we’ve both gotten a good night’s sleep. But… I’m glad you… I’m just glad you’re here.”

“W-well...I want t-to… to say ‘thank you’…” I stammered, my voice soft, “For-”

“Stop.” He told me, his voice equally soft. “You never need to thank me for doing things to make you happy… You never need to feel guilty for being happy, either.”

I hesitated, glancing down at the floor. Uncertain how to reply. I remembered what I had overheard in the courtyard earlier, and tried to decide how I would’ve acted had I not over heard it...  I tried hard not to stiffen, or hide behind a mask. I tried to let my guard down, reminding myself of all the times I had managed to do so before with him. And how it had always seemed to work out. Tried to forget the trials of the day, and just… enjoy that moment. If I could. His arm was extended as far as it could be to reach me, and his other came up to catch my hands wringing in front of me. I stopped, having not even noticed I was wringing them until his fingers touched mine. I peeked at him, and saw his eyes watching me quietly. Perhaps trying to read the chaos of emotions currently fighting for dominance on my face.

“It’s been a long and difficult day.” He murmured finally. “I’ll let you get some rest… But I would like to speak more about…” He stopped, and I saw him adjust himself momentarily before continuing. “...About everything…” He squeezed my hands, giving me a coy smile. “Though I suppose we have a lifetime for that.”

“Gods willing.” I agreed, almost automatically, then somehow flushed darker.

His smile grew slightly, and he stretched up even further to slide his hand towards the back of my head. I hesitated only briefly before I curled down to accommodate him, and felt my skin tingle as his fingers brushed over it. He paused, his face lingering only a short distance away from mine. I saw his eyes flick to my lips, and couldn’t help sneaking my own glance at his. The memory of our last similar encounter it the private audience room filtered to the forefront of my thoughts and had my breath hitching. I swallowed nervously. He inched a little closer, standing on his tiptoes, then stopped. Leaving me with his warm breath splashing across my face. Leaving me with the option to pull away...

But for me, there was only one option. I closed the gap, bending down to press our mouths together as carefully as I could manage. I even dared to go so far as to take a step closer to him, backing him against the doorframe and letting him rock onto his heels as my hands came to his waist and my shoulders bowed around him. His arms came up, wrapping around my neck as he deepened our kiss, and I almost shivered beneath his touch. His body melted against mine, and my eyes fluttered closed, forgetting myself for a minute. His tongue slipped between my lips, and I twirled mine lightly around it. I could taste his sigh, and felt my heart skip as he ran one hand over the back of my head.

A giggle had me startled, and quickly jerked my head up just in time to catch the tail end of a skirt flashing in the bedroom doorway. Instantly my face blazed hot, and I broke away from his embrace clumsily, staggering back a step. Setting us both off balance. Fuckfuckfuckfuck, FUCK! I thought to myself, suddenly in an absolute panic as one of my worst nightmares was realized. Then made even worse than I had ever imagined. I shook myself, reaching up to cover my face with both hands. Absolutely mortified. I wanted nothing more than to dissolve into thin air. Disappear and hide away until everyone forgot my name. My legs itched to launch me into a full on sprint and carry me away…

 But I didn’t flee, even though I wanted to. Instead, I let out a quiet, mortified groan, and bent over the goblin’s smaller form in front of me to bang my head lightly against the doorframe above his. Hands still cupped to shield my burning face. Maybe it was all a dream. And I would wake up now. For his part, Grier merely laughed, and I felt his arms wrap around my middle. I was surprised that instead of feeling more embarrassed…. My tension eased a little with his touch.

“I suppose she got her answer in the end anyways.” He teased, and I banged my head lightly against the frame again in response. He chuckled, more softly this time, tucking himself into my chest briefly in a gentle hug before he stepped back. “I should be going; I have to say… I’m rather tired.”

I eased back, peeking at him through my fingers. “Ah-a… S-ssorry…”

He reached up, catching one hand and gently pulling it away. “Don’t be. I know now you are a shy person...” His grin became sly, “... I find it absolutely endearing.” He stretched up, placing a quick peck on my lips before I could react. “Have a good evening, my young Prince… I’ll see you tomorrow… And ah… We’ll talk then.”

With that he ducked under my elbow and made his way over to the door. Casting me a final wink as he stepped out into the hall. I sighed quietly, leaning against the frame for a moment. Trying to compose myself. I heard another soft giggle, and looked up to see one mischievous hazel eye poking out from the bedroom. I shook my head, trying my best to put on a scowl, but failing miserably.

“I swear, little chickadee,” I growled, “If you say one word, you’re sleeping on the floor.”

My face flushed again as I heard a muffled laugh from the hallway.

...

UPDATE: Part Eleven HERE

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Fell For You (Part 12) - Not So Sweet Home

Summary: Jensen is fed up with his parents ignoring Y/N all day and when he gets a moment alone, blows up on them like never before. The reader sees how upset Jensen is over what’s happening and does her best to defend him while still trying to salvage a relationship with them...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 6,200ish

Warnings: language, major family angst, mention of a dead parent

A/N: Eek! If you like angst this part is for you! Please enjoy and let me know what you think!

________

It was late, the kids asleep in the guest bedroom, Jensen’s siblings and their families gone home for the evening aside from his brother. He made some half ass excuse about wanting to hang out with Jensen more but you knew he could sense what you did. Jensen was getting close to popping after a whole day of politeness on his part and his parents ignoring you on theirs.

Jensen was bouncing his knee like crazy as he sipped on his beer around a gas fire pit, suddenly stopping when you shifted in your seat.

“Maybe you ought to cool it with the alcohol tonight,” said his dad. Jensen set his empty bottle down on the grass and breathed deeply through his nose. “Your legs been-”

“Y/N, would you get me another beer please?” asked Jensen. You took the opportunity to get out of there, surprised when the back door opened quickly after you, his brother closing it behind him.

“I don’t think your parents like me very much,” you said, going to the fridge and pulling out a drink. 

“I know,” he said, glancing out the dark window. “Jensen asked me to make sure you don’t come back out there.”

“He’s gonna go off on them.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m guessing,” he said with a sigh. “I have a feeling this isn’t going to go well. You guys can crash at my place if you want. We don’t have a guest room but we have an air mattress we can put in the family room.”

“You think it’ll be that bad?”

“Yeah,” he said quietly.

“Then why are we in here talking about this when we should be out there making sure he doesn’t say something he regrets in the morning.”

“You might hear things you can’t unhear,” he said. 

“Right now my concern isn’t if my feelings get hurt. He’s really upset and I need him to be okay.”

“You know that’s why the rest of us like you, don’t you? You care about him, the kids. You’re in love with him.”

“Yes I am,” you said as he nodded.

“You call me if either of you ever need anything,” he said, going back to the door. You nodded and took a deep breath, following him outside and already hearing raised voices.

“She’s half your age, Jensen,” said his mom. “She was your nanny. Sweetie you have to know what’s going on here.”

“You’re getting played,” said his father, catching you walking out with Josh.

“She is not half my age. She’s thirty fucking years old! She’s a goddamn adult and been through more shit then both of you put together! She’s not after fucking money,” snapped Jensen who was already out of his seat.

“You’re engaged to the girl after five months!” said his father. “It took you years to propose the first time around!”

“Because I was a nervous kid that was away working constantly. I didn’t want to make Dee stay if it was gonna make her unhappy. I’m not afraid of how I feel anymore because I feel the same about her as I do Dee and I’m not wasting my time so I can stick to your socially acceptable schedule,” said Jensen. “I love her and she’s gonna be part of this family whether you like it or not. Deal with it.”

“You need a prenup,” said his dad.

“No I don’t!”

“Yes you do! You’ve known the girl for not even six months!”

“She’s not up to anything!” shouted Jensen.

“Son-”

“Have you ever lost your wife? Have you ever been in the car and almost die yourself while you watch her breathe for the last time? Where she’s hurt and you can’t do a thing to fix it? Have you ever had to tell your children their mother is dead and she’s not coming back? You have no idea, no idea, what that does to you, how much it hurts and how much it hurts when you’re still so fucked up and your parents start making comments behind closed doors about you and you have to pretend you’re better when you’re really not. When you don’t even care about yourself anymore, when you pretend for everyone’s sake so they stop treating you like a child, when you don’t know how to tell your kids it’s okay because it’s not. It’s not. Until you go through that, until you know how bad it hurts, don’t assume a damn thing about her. She’s my best friend and she makes me feel like my old self again. I laugh and smile and have fun and when I get scared or feel guilty or freak out she makes me feel better. I don’t give a fuck how old she is or what her job was. She’s kind and good and she deserves better than you two. Danneel’s parents like her. Jared’s parents like her. Her old foster dad’s family likes her. Our family likes her except for you two. Get your heads out of your asses or you can not even bother letting me know you exist anymore. I’m done with things hurting the women I care about. I couldn’t stop what happened to Dee but I can sure as hell keep Y/N away from the two of you,” said Jensen. He huffed and walked off, Josh running off after him. 

“Well congratulations. You got your hooks in him deep, don’t you,” said his father. You rolled your eyes and his mother scoffed.

“You can take care of someone without treating them like a child you know. He’s an incredibly strong person. If you don’t like me fine. But don’t call him stupid or easily manipulated or imply that it’s wrong to know you love someone after only a certain amount of time. I love your son.”

“You love his money,” said his mom.

“I do just fine on my own,” you said, narrowing your eyes. “He’s staying at Josh’s house tonight. We’ll pick up the kids in the morning.”

“He’s overreacting. He’ll be fine in the morning,” said his dad. You crossed your arms and leaned your head back. “He’ll be fine.”

“You two don’t know a thing about me and you assume I want money because of my age and my former career. Don’t assume your son will be fine and get over it.”

“We’ve known him a lot longer than you have. He’ll get over it after a night’s rest.”

“You may have known him longer and I’m sure in some regards you do know him better but not the ones that matter. If you did, you would have seen how much he would have loved for the two of you to like me. I would have taken some respect and been happy because trust me, I get how this looks to everyone else. I understand you have fears and I’m not mad you have them. I’m mad you assume those are facts when all they are is a story you made up in your head you don’t want to change. He’s right, I’m not going anywhere. The difference between him and me though is that I’ll stay out here all damn night with the two of you until you get it through your heads that I’m not here to fuck him over. I love him. I don’t have family, not really. Things have always been screwed up for me pretty much until I met him and he didn’t have to say it for me to know that he was hoping he could share the two of you with me. Maybe I was hoping for that too. But right now I’ll take some goddamn respect and an apology to your son to start and we can go from there.”

“You’re gonna curse at us and expect an apology?” said his mom. “We know you took him when he was at his low and tricked him into trusting you so you could get exactly what you wanted.”

“You know what I want? What I’ve always wanted and somehow always seems to get ripped away? A family. A stupid fucking family. Being a nanny? That let me feel like part of the family. I could pretend I was like all of those people I worked for. Nice and normal and like people gave a shit. Some kindness and a family is all I’ve ever wanted. You two...you wouldn’t have survived a day in my childhood. In my adulthood with the shitty ex boyfriend and the crappy friends and I picked myself over all of them because my mom told me to stand up for myself. Even when she couldn’t be there and I wanted her to. So I stand up for myself and now I stand up for him and those three kids to anyone and I mean anyone, that hurts them. He’s my family and those kids are my family. I don’t know what you think I’m gonna do but I guarantee the only thing I will do is tell you two where to shove it and to leave him the hell alone.”

“Why would we believe anything you say? At all?” his dad asked. “It’s probably the same sad story you told him to get him on the line. I don’t buy it.”

“I have a million dollar book deal. I’ve worked rent free for a lot of rich people since I was eighteen years old. Do I sound like someone who needs his money?” you said. You put your hands on your hips and shook your head. “What is it? You want me to sign a prenup? I would but he doesn’t want one. He trusts me and for a guy that lost his wife and had to work through falling in love with another person, I respect that. He knows what he wants and he’s not wasting time. This is scary for him. It’s scary for me. But when Dee’s parents gave me open arms and kindness and their blessing, the last people I ever expected to disapprove were you two. If you’re going to stand there and keeping calling me a liar, I’m going to find your sons and I’m going take care of Jensen instead of wasting my time here.”

“We don’t disapprove of him moving on and marrying again,” said his mom as you turned to walk away.

“Could have fooled me,” you said. 

“He’s going too fast and he doesn’t know you either, not well enough to make a decision like that,” said his dad. You turned around and smiled.

“He knows my favorite color. He knows what my favorite flavor of ice cream is. He knows why I have nightmares and he knows how to make me forget them in the first place. I’m sorry we aren’t doing things on your schedule but it’s his life. He can do whatever the fuck he wants with it, whether that’s me or somebody else. For the record, he knows me just fine. Oh and if this is how you plan on speaking to him again in the morning, I’ll pick up the kids myself.”

“We’re looking out for his best interest,” said his dad.

“No, you think you’re looking at his wallet for him. See money? People think that’s important and it is but best interest? It ain’t that shit,” you said as you started to leave.

“Well what do you assume his best interest is then?” said his mom. 

“Treating him like an adult. He is smart and strong and the most emotionally healthy man I’ve ever met which considering all the fucked up shit he’s been through and felt the past year is really saying something. He’s your child but he’s not a child. He found someone he loves and all he wanted to do was share me with you. This was his worst nightmare and I couldn’t stop it. So if you’re not gonna even try with me, then I’m gonna protect him from you.”

“He doesn’t need protecting from us,” he said.

“You call him stupid and that he can’t take care of himself, that he can be fooled and that the person he thinks is his best friend really only wants him for his money. He knows none of those things are true but it’s what you said to him when you said that about me. For a man who went through what he did, it wasn’t mean. It was cruel. I’m gonna go fix what I can of your relationship with him because despite all that, I know you guys love each other and I’m not letting that get fucked up because you think whatever the hell you think about me.”

You stormed off around the house and found Josh’s truck still there but neither man in sight. You looked around and heard a sniffle, your head going up to the roof. You saw the lattice work on the side and climbed up, peeking your head up to spot the two of them sat on the roof.

“Hey,” you said quietly. Jensen wouldn’t look at you, Josh rubbing his back. 

“Careful,” he said as you climbed up and slowly walked over. You took a seat on your bottom, spotting the window behind them. “That was my room. Jensen used to sneak out this way. I was always too nervous of getting caught to try myself. You landed the bad boy of the family.”

“Oh yeah, such a bad boy,” you said. You scooted closer on your butt to him, Jensen resting his head on his knees. “Hey. Before you even think about it don’t say you’re sorry.”

“I know,” he said. He took a deep breath but looked up, looking fairly normal aside from a slightly pink nose. “I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Nobody was,” said Josh. “I’ll give you guys a minute. I’ll be in my car when you’re ready.”

“You should go home,” said Jensen. “Staying in a different house won’t change anything.”

“That was kinda fucked up what they said.” Jensen raised an eyebrow and he shrugged. “I don’t always agree with them. If you guys want to stay, that’s your choice but I’m not going home without telling them what a mistake they’re making.”

“You don’t have to-”

“You’re my little brother and I like her. Even if I didn’t, they’re being assholes and she doesn’t deserve that. You don’t. Alright?”

Jensen nodded and Josh walked off to the lattice and climbed down while you scooted next to Jensen. 

“You thought your siblings weren’t gonna like me,” you said.

“He’s a good person. He’s never told off our parents before so...I don’t know if I’m happy about that or not.”

“He’s a good big brother,” you said, wrapping your arms around him. “I don’t love you for your family though. I don’t care if your parents don’t like me. I’ll deal with it.”

“I wish you didn’t have to,” he said.

“I still like your dad so much better than mine,” you said.

“Yours is a monster to be fair.”

“Yeah, he is. Yours love you and I don’t agree with them but in their minds, they’re protecting you and I don’t have a problem with anyone trying to do that.”

“How are you so fucking kind to them after they basically said you’re with their dumbass son because of money?”

“Like you said, I know monsters. I know toxic and bad. They aren’t it. They raised you and I really, really like you. Good people can be stupid and still be good. In the morning we’ll try again.”

“What if I can’t get them to change their minds?” he said quietly. 

“Jensen,” you said, moving to squat down in front of him. You grabbed his cheeks and he stared at you. “You don’t have to pick anybody over anybody. Maybe I won’t be close with them but that’s okay. It’s so okay. We’ll respect each other or just won’t talk to each other and we’ll figure it out but we don’t have to do it all tonight.”

“I think what bothers me the most is they’ve already made up their minds about you based on your age when they don’t even realize who you are. They don’t see that this is the kind of person you are, kind and supportive and I heard you not taking their bullshit. You’re a stronger person than I am and I wish they could see that the reason I’m not freaking out over this is cause I know you’re my partner and you got my back like I got yours. I’m just having a hard time understanding why they won’t even listen to us.”

“I don’t know,” you said, eyes darting to the window when you caught some movement inside. You narrowed them and glanced down, spotting the crack between the windowsill and frame. “I’m a little cool. I’m gonna get my sweatshirt if that’s okay.”

“Careful climbing in,” he said, turning on his bottom and pushing the window up. You kissed his cheek and climbed inside, the room empty as far as you could tell. You stepped out to the hall and into his old room, getting your hoodie, his old hoodie. You pulled it on but went downstairs, catching his parents in the kitchen with Josh.

“Josh may I speak to your parents in private,” you said.

“Yeah. I’m done here. I’ll be over for brunch, okay?” he said. He walked past you and caught your arm. “Call me if you need me back.” You nodded and he kissed your temple before he went out. 

“Were you eavesdropping on us?” you asked, crossing your arms.

“We went to tell him to get off the roof. We could see him from the backyard up there,” said his mom, putting her back to you as she mixed up something in a mug. “But we heard the three of you talking and then the two of you. We didn’t mean-”

“We are all on the same side. His side. We should get along. It shouldn’t be this difficult and I don’t appreciate private conversations being listened in on. But I hope you understand that you hurt your son. I know you didn’t mean to and it’s the last thing you’d ever want to do to him. But you did. So please try to help me fix this. This isn’t easy for me to accept that you don’t like me either but you’re gonna respect me. If we can respect each other, then he’s not going to worry as much at least. Please promise that we can agree to that,” you said. His parents looked at each other and you sighed. “You have to be kidding me. What do you want me to do? Go away? I can’t do that. I won’t do that.”

“That’s not...Jensen called your father a monster up there,” he said. 

“I thought it was a sob story according to you ten minutes ago.”

“You said you don’t have parents. He said your father is alive.”

“What’s your point, Mr. Ackles,” you said. “Please enlighten me.”

“It doesn’t make much sense to tell different stories,” he said. 

“You can’t even give me the benefit of the doubt that I love your son. Why the fuck would I tell you things only he knows, things so few people know about. Why would I trust you with the worst parts of my life when you don’t accept the best ones. For your information, my birth mother is dead. My adoptive mother is dead. I wish my son of a bitch father was dead. The only glimmer of a parent I have maybe, maybe was my foster father. That was until last weekend. I met some parents. I met Dee’s. I met Jared’s. I got the same message from all of them. Let us know if you ever need anything. Oh the way he looks at you. You must be pretty special. Anything at all, you give us a call. People that don’t even have an obligation to look in my direction treated me like I was their kid. So maybe he and I both got our hopes up with you two and that was on us. If you want to pick apart what I’ve said and call me a liar…” you said, putting your hands on your hips. Your shut your eyes and breathed deeply, turning around. “I don’t care if you have to pretend to respect me. Just do it for his sake and the kids sakes, alright?”

A tissue appeared over your shoulder and you took it, blowing your nose and stepping away. 

“When did your mother’s pass?” you heard behind you. You threw your head back and took a deep breath.

“When I was born and when I was sixteen,” you said, turning around and swallowing. “Why does that matter?”

“When were you adopted?” he asked.

“Why do you care?”

“Please.”

“I was eight,” you said.

“So you only had your mother for eight years then,” he said. 

“Yeah. She got sick when I was fourteen. I stayed with her boyfriend until I moved out for my first nanny job at eighteen. It was all very sad and angsty,” you said.

“Who made the first move?” 

“I’m done with this interrogation,” you said. You started to leave but he stepped in front of you. “What do you want from me?”

“I just want to know who made the first move, you or Jensen.”

“I don’t…” you trailed off. “We had a fight. I told him I didn’t want him to be my friend anymore, he was just my boss and that was it. We couldn’t hang out at night and stuff anymore.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t want him to hurt me,” you said quietly. “I didn’t fit with his life. I’m not a pretty actress. I’m not smart. I’m the younger nanny and that’s all I was gonna be until I became an older nanny and that was supposed to be my life. I didn’t ask for…”

“For what?” asked his mother, carrying over her mug and setting it down on the end table.

“I didn’t ask for him to love me. But he did and I don’t know why but I trusted him not to hurt me. It’s not fairytales and roses all day every day but I like having a best friend and I never would have submitted those books to a publisher without him encouraging me and I need him to feel better. He can’t catch a break lately and I hate seeing him upset. It makes me sick to my stomach and I really, really need him to be okay so please stop doing this. Just stop. Please. I don’t care if we have to pretend the rest of our lives but please, I can’t keep seeing him take hit after hit anymore and not being able to stop it.”

You weren’t expecting the hug from his father or to bury your face in his chest for a brief moment. His mom guided you to sit on the couch, pulling a blanket around you. She handed you the mug and you saw it was hot chocolate, your eyes darting back and forth between them.

“This isn’t about to be like a lifetime movie where you murder me, right?” you said. 

“No,” said his mom as she sat next to you. “We hurt you quite deeply today, didn’t we.”

You stared at the mug, holding it in your hands. 

“You were looking forward to meeting us,” said his dad as he sat down on your other side.

“It doesn’t matter. All I care about is him.”

“I don’t think he’d be very happy with you laying down for a semblance of normalcy for him,” he said.

“Just spit out whatever the fuck you want,” you said. You gripped the mug and shut your eyes.

“I’d like you to stop swearing please,” he said. “In exchange, maybe we can have a second chance.”

“Second chance at what?” you said dryly.

“At meeting our son’s fiance.” You lifted your head and stared at him, catching a bashful look you saw in Jensen every so often. “We understand, as well as we can, he was hurt after Danneel. We can’t fix those problems like when he would scrape his knees. We knew he was in a vulnerable position and things between the two of you seemed so fast for how in pain he was. We thought of the worst of you before knowing you and that wasn’t right of us. We were trying to protect him. But like you said, we all try to do that. So if you’ll let us, give us a second chance.”

“For him, I will give you both a second chance,” you said. “I’m sorry to have to be the one to tell you this but this sort of thing isn’t going to go away just like that, for him or for me.”

“Is there anything…” said his mom as you shook your head. “We are sorry for before. Truly.”

“I know. Trust is difficult for me on a normal day. You guys kinda tore through the safety nets I thought I had with you. I need to build them up again is all.”

“That was you that said that, people have safety nets,” she said. You raised and eyebrow and she sighed. “Jensen, months back, he told us his therapist told him that, put things in perspective.”

“I guess couple’s are kinda each other’s therapists,” you said. “Sometimes they just need to vent to each other too.”

“Before you said...has he ever been to one?” asked his dad.

“Last weekend was...intense. I went to one as a child and he talked to him for a little while, helped him put things in perspective,” you said.

“Intense? Did you fight?” she asked.

“He and JJ got stung by a scorpion. It was a little serious. We went out the next night and I made a comment and he took it a different way and he got upset thinking I thought of myself as being less in his eyes than Dee was. I know it’s not true, it’s just different. He’s been having a really great week aside from today.”

You took a sip of the hot chocolate and went back for more, drinking half the mug down. 

“We screwed up,” said his dad with a sigh, sitting back against the couch. 

“Yeah but he’ll forgive you,” you said. “This is really good Mrs. Ackles.”

“Thank you sweetie and call me Donna. I made it for Jensen. He’s always liked it when he was living here and having a bad day.”

“Why do you think he’ll forgive us?” asked his dad as Donna got up.

“Because he’s Jensen. He’s not an angry man. Angry in moments but he doesn’t hold onto anger. I wouldn’t expect anything less from him. So I know he’ll forgive you. When I’m not sure of but it won’t be forever.”

“Have you two ever fought badly?” he asked.

“We’ve had a few fights. Mostly small and when we’re both tired or hungry. We had a big one a few weeks ago when he got home but we talked about why it happened and how to make sure it doesn’t again,” you said. Donna carried over a kettle and poured more hot chocolate in your mug. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Don't ask about fights Alan. It’s not our business. We should let them tell us what they want,” she said as she walked back to the kitchen.

“They probably should have had a big fight at least once to know if they can work through those things and it sounds like they have,” he said when he turned to you. “I know you’re probably love struck but marriage? That’s a lifetime of putting in the work.”

“Alan if I didn’t care about putting in the work I wouldn’t be down here right now. I know I don’t know everything I’m signing up for and no one really does but I know him and the kids and that’s worth the parts I have to work at.”

“You sound older than you look.”

“Age doesn’t always equal life experience,” you said.

“I suppose not,” he said. He stood and took a deep breath. “I do apologize for thinking the worst of you and not giving you a fair chance upfront.”

“Thank you,” you said. “I’m going to bring this up and check on him.”

“Can I ask one last thing?” asked his dad. You nodded and he looked over to Donna who gave him a short nod. “Josh said you really love him.”

“I do.”

“Do you think he loves you the same way?”

“I know he does,” you said.

“How are you so sure?”

“How are you so sure your wife loves you?” you said. “Goodnight Alan.”

“Goodnight,” he said, his mom catching up with you in the foyer where the stairs were. You gave her a tired smile and she nodded.

“If I told you something, would you keep it a secret from Jensen?” she asked.

“No,” you said with a smile. 

“I had to try,” she said. “We’re not like this by nature. Something happened he doesn’t know about when he was recovering that put us off to you. A woman. A young woman at his physical therapy.”

“What happened?” you asked quietly. She took a seat on a step and you sat beside her. “If someone tried to take advantage of him, you should have told me and him. He thinks you guys have gone nuts, no offense.”

“You’ll find with time you’d rather have your child safe and upset at you than the other way around,” she said. 

“What happened?”

“We moved down to the house for a few months to help Jensen. He went to physical therapy. A very good place. A family friend works there and got him in and he regained a lot of strength in his leg quickly because of it. There were nurses that often helped and he worked with a few regularly and they develop a relationship and all that. It’s good for morale and healing we were told. One of these girls was about your age and our family friend overheard her gossiping to a friend on the phone during a lunch break.”

“Gossiping about…” you said. “Jensen?”

“They saw an opportunity to manipulate him. He is smart, smarter than the both of us together, but he was going through the motions that first month. She made him smile a bit. She flirted with him. Our friend told us what she’d said and we realized, he could be hurt again. Taken advantage of for what he has, what he can offer. His sudden shift in mood this year, introducing you as a fiance, made us think we’d failed to protect him this time.”

“Why not tell him that?” you asked.

“And tell him he was being manipulated back then? He’s so adamant that it can’t happen to him but we know different.”

“I think you should tell him, Donna. It makes your reaction today seem not so…” you said, her head shaking.

“Ma,” you both heard. You looked over your shoulders, Jensen sat against the wall at the top of the landing. “Mom. Jerry told me why I got a new nurse when it happened. She was nice, or was pretending to be, I don’t know. But I didn’t like her. I never got manipulated and I was never going to.”

“How long-” you said, Jensen rubbing the back of his neck. “You heard everything.”

“Yup,” he said, popping his p, his dad coming over to the bottom of the stairs and staring up. “I don’t want to talk to either of you right now. Y/N, I’d like to go to bed, please.”

“Accept their apology Jensen. You can hash out the rest of this in the morning but accept that they know they were in the wrong,” you said. 

“Why should I?” he asked, cocking his head.

“We both got hurt out of their love for you. They are not monsters and I know the difference,” you said. “You know too.”

“Will you two ever look at me the same again,” said Jensen, staring at the landing. 

“Honey it was a fight. It’ll be alright,” said his mom, his head shaking.

“Ever since I woke up in the hospital, you two look at me like I’m a kid. Like I’m weak and defenseless. But I’m not. I’m stronger than I’ve ever been and this whole day could have been avoided if you treated me like your adult son, not the kid who fell off his bike and cries over a cut. I needed you two to take over, I did, I honestly did after the accident. I couldn’t take care of myself let alone the kids. But you haven’t stopped thinking I can take care of me again. I can. I do. I know I’m your kid but let me be an adult again. Trust me. Please.”

“Come here,” you said, holding out your hand. He slid down the steps and you stood up and aside, letting him get a hug from his mom and then dad. 

“We’re sorry,” said his dad.

“I know,” said Jensen quietly. “Never do something like that again. Ever.”

“We won’t,” he said. You leaned against the wall and sipped on the hot chocolate, Jensen’s nose twitching.

“That’s my cocoa,” he said, turning his head up at you.

“I just Jerry Springer’ed ya’ll. I get the cocoa. Get your own,” you said. He smiled and you gave it right back, his parents pulling off and bringing him to his feet. 

“Come here,” said his dad as his mom dragged him off towards the kitchen with the promise of hot chocolate. You stepped down until you were about his height and took a drink, licking your lips when you finished. “How do you just let that go? You were so angry before.”

“I’ve been to therapy. I have good diffusing skills,” you said. 

“Is that a joke?”

“Not really,” you said with a smile. “You made a mistake because you love him. I’m gonna make mistakes because I love him. So when I screw up, now you owe me one, deal?”

“I know it’s getting late but would you be willing to stay up a while longer, maybe find out that favorite color?” he asked. You smiled and nodded, stepping down.

“Depends on the day,” said Jensen, stepping out with a mug of his own.

“He’s right,” you said. “You okay to stay up a bit?”

He nodded and walked back to the family room, taking your hand. 

“Better?” you whispered to him.

“Yeah. Not all the way but definitely better honey.”

It was warm when you woke up the next morning. You peeled open an eye and caught Jensen laying awake, staring at his ceiling. You kicked off the blankets and he reached an arm out, pulling you to lay on his chest.

“It’s hot in here,” you mumbled, eyes shutting again.

“There’s a box covering the vent,” he said, dancing his fingers lazily over your bare arm. “It’s almost noon.”

“Seriously?” you said into his chest, nuzzling against his soft skin.

“Yeah. Sounds like they’re out back with the kids,” he said. You nodded and felt him move his fingers all over you, soft and light, absentmindedly tracing patterns every so often.

“Still upset?” you asked, his head nodding. “They’re human. They fuck up.”

“Are you angry?”

“I was. Not anymore. I kinda like ‘em actually.”

“Why would you give them a second chance?” he asked. 

“When I got adopted I didn’t like, instantly love my mom. I was scared of her at first. I don’t know, I get that you can not like someone at first and then love them unconditionally, you know? It’s weird but your opinions can change once you get to know someone.”

“I don’t do a very good job of protecting you from things,” he said, tilting his head, moving a few hairs behind your ear. You looked up at him, his fingers playing in your hair behind you. 

“Honey you went off on your parents last night. I bet you’ve never done that to them. You were trying to protect me and you did. No one has ever protected me the way you do,” you said. “Today is a new day and I’d like to get to know my new family some more.”

“Okay,” he said softly. “I’ll follow your lead.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 13 here!

[xvvampire-valentinevx]

Run to the Nanny - A Brahms Heelshire Fanfiction. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: This story will contain violence, sexual implications, implications of ab*se, and murder/character death.

Chapter 2

Morning rolled around and I woke up to the sound of crashing, as though a wooden chess board had been knocked over. Mrs. Heelshire then began to yell in distress, and I quickly tossed myself out of bed, quickly walking down to Brahms’ room in concern. I turn, looking past the doorway to see a wooden game board on the ground, Brahms’ room now a slight mess.

“Is everything alright?” I speak up, sounding worried.

Mrs. Heelshire looked up and managed a strained but reassuring smile.

“Brahms is just having a bit of a tantrum this morning…” she said, her voice weak. I give her a kind smile and nod, turning and heading down to the parlor to wait for them to leave.

As Mr. Heelshire and I awaited for Mrs. Heelshire, he gave me a few pages of paper.

“Mrs. Heelshire was kind enough to print these out for you, to help you.” He said. I gently took the papers and looked through them. They seemed to be a set of rules/directions for me to follow.

“I must warn you, Brahms is a very particular boy. You must follow the rules exactly, you know.”

I nod in response, reading through the papers carefully. I looked up just as Mrs. Heelshire approached.

“Do take good care of Brahms while we’re gone…” She said softly, looking more distressed by the second. I figured she just must be nervous about leaving her… son with me. I give her a comforting smile.

“I’ll treat him like he’s my own.” I said.

She seemed satisfied with that, nodding curtly. She stepped over and gave me a hug… and I hugged back, obviously not having expected this from her.

“I’m sorry…”

I blink as she pulls away…

And they leave… they leave me alone with Brahms.

I sigh and walk over to the chair Mrs. Heelshire seemed to leave him in.

I was… Nervous… And I felt guilty…

“Oh boy…”

I step away from the doll for a moment, turning to the nearby telephone and quickly dial my friend’s number.

“Helloo~?”

“Penny?? Hi… I-it’s me.” “Paris!! Hey! I was wondering when you’d call… How’s the nanny business going? Is the UK Nice?” She asked softly.

I smile awkwardly, glancing at Brahms, leaning against the table the phone sat on.

“Honestly? It’s… It wasn’t what I expected.” “What?? What the hell does that mean?”

“I just… Ya know, it’s nothing… I’m just new to this whole.. Nanny thing…”

“Hmm… Alright… Call me if you ever need anything..”

“Oh hey, before you go… How’s Jacksonville?” I asked her, twirling my hair around my finger.

“Oh!! It’s great!! Amazing, even~!”

“I’m glad…” I tap my finger against the table some, sighing. “Well, I should get going, I have to make breakfast and stuff.”

“Alright!! Good luck Paris~”

“See ya, Pens”

I hang up the phone, then walk over to Brahms, gently picking him up and cradling him. I head to the kitchen, smiling. I gently set Brahms on a chair and start grabbing things to cook. I figured that I could, perhaps, pancakes, some eggs, bacon… Yeah, that sounded like a good breakfast. Since the silence in the empty manor would drive me nuts, I chose to sing to myself a bit while I cooked, seeing as no one else was here except for me and Brahms…. And Brahms was a doll… So, No harm no foul.

I fried up some bacon while I mixed up pancake batter. I was a master at making some pretty fluffy pancakes.

I made enough food for both the doll and I. It felt a little ridiculous, making food for a doll, but I was being paid to care for the doll as though it was a real child. I would feel guilty if I didn’t do what I was being paid to do. And I couldn’t forget what Mr. Heelshire told me when he was teaching me how to empty the traps…. It stuck with me, and I couldn’t just ignore something like that.

I had kind of figured what all this was about… the large portrait I’d seen of the family, the doll…

A Mourning Doll.

From what I could gather… The real Brahms had passed away when he was a child and this was his poor parents’ way of coping with the loss. I understood how hard and painful it was to lose a child, so I plated the food for the doll. Pancakes topped with berries and jam on one plate, and another plate holding eggs and bacon.

“I’m not too sure how you like your eggs so I just sort of scrambled ‘em… I hope you don’t mind.” I say, plating my own food. He was sitting at the end of the table, and I sat in the chair to the right of him.

“Oops.” I got up, forgetting one thing. I grabbed a napkin and set it over Brahms’ body like a bib.

“There we gooo.”

I ate, then packed up Brahms’ food before putting it away just as Mrs. Heelshire instructed.

It was a little strange to me, but… whatever, I guess.

The day passed a little slow, having to spend it… Alone. I read to Brahms, I played his music, though it’s high volume gave me quite the headache. Eventually, it was time for me to put Brahms in his room to ‘play.’

I was confused how THAT was going to work but I guess it was just the doll and I… sitting in his room… in silence…

So that’s… Just what I did. The time passed so slowly… and I had gotten so bored, I ended up falling asleep in the chair in his room, the book I was reading slipping out of my hand. When I woke up, it was dark.

“Oh shoot.”

I stood up, walking over to Brahms and gently picking him up. I checked the time on my phone and sighed, relieved that I at least didn’t miss dinner time.

“We have time for dinner. How about some steak? Maybe mashed potatoes and vegetables?” I ask the doll as if he would reply.

“Yeah, okay.”

To the kitchen I went, cooking up the last meal of the day, and after that I put Brahms to bed.

I flopped over on my bed, huffing a little.

This hadn’t been what I expected at all… caring for a doll every day was nothing like caring for an actual child… How was this meant to help me?

I had signed up to care for a kid… not this… The manor was so silent, and now, after having realised that there would be no actual child to fill the silence. I felt my lip quiver, then my eyes began to sting as tears threatened to spill from them. I sniffled weakly, the hiccupped as I just started to cry. I quickly covered my face with my hands, trying to gather my emotions and stress.

What was I supposed to do now?

Eventually I just… outright sobbed, loud enough for my whimpers and cries to echo throughout the manor.

The sound of footsteps roused me from my distress, though, and I quickly looked up at my closed door.

“H...Hello?” I ask, confused and afraid that someone had broken in. I sniffled, getting to my feet and wiping my eyes and cheeks as I walked over to my door. I pressed my ear against it.

“Paris?”

I cried out in panic, stumbling back from the shock that shook my body enough to make my knees tremble…

I had heard the voice of a child, a young boy, call… My name… and he sounded… so worried for me…

I press my ear against the door again and call out softly.

“B..Brahms..?” My voice wasn’t as loud as I hoped it would be, but once again, the boyish voice called out again.

“Don’t cry.”

I blinked… This was no comfort, despite how sweet it seemed, I felt fear… because this could mean a number of things. I wasn’t sure if I preferred a creep had broken in and chose to fuck with me, or the ghost of a dead child trying to(maybe) comfort me. I felt like crying more than I did before, taking hold of the doorknob before gently twisting and peering outside. I muster up the courage to speak.

“Brahms you’re supposed to be in bed-”

Was all I could manage to say before wrenching the door open and looking up and down the hall in front of it.

After I saw nothing, I looked down… and saw a little stuffed elephant sitting in in front of me on the ground. Needless to say, I felt confused, but also touched…. Still afraid. Was someone or something really trying to comfort me right now?

I look around one more time before picking up the stuffed animal. I squeezed it close to my form… I felt quite nice doing so as well. It was soft, the fabric of the toy was cotton, and it was a sweet baby blue color… I loved it. I pressed my nose against the top of it’s head, sighing a bit. It smelt like it’s been well loved, but also well cared for… I instantly felt my eyes droop, and I made my way back to my bed, absentmindedly leaving my door open behind me.

I set the toy down on the bed and changed into what I had worn last night, a light, somewhat see through, white slip dress. It was silky, and it felt comfortable and natural to sleep in. In a manor like this, it made me feel like a princess or something. I climb into bed, wriggling my legs underneath the blanket, grabbing hold of the little toy elephant before curling up and falling asleep.

[peaky-whore]

What Happens to the Heart • J. Shelby [Part One]

Pairing: John Shelby x Fem!Reader

Word count: 1,656

Warning: None

Summary: You’re the best of friends with John.

A/n: This is in your point of view. Also, I’m sorry is this doesn’t make sense, it will eventually. And there is a memory in here, so that’ll be the italics. Overall, this is just the beginning!

To say John and I were the best of friends would be an understatement, the two of us were inseparable from the day we met; wherever he was, there was no doubt I’d be right by him. Dangerous, or not.

Most of the time, though, folks thought we were in a relationship, something along those lines. Other times, we’d get ourselves into trouble, Polly - my mom also - wouldn’t be pleased to talk us out of jail. To make it short, we’d get smacked in the back of the head by our guardians whilst on the way to Watery Lane, along with lectures on how to behave, I was even told that my actions are not ladylike. They still loved us, I know that much.

Our closeness brought me unexpected feelings for the Shelby boy, and though we told each other everything - from my first kiss to his first fuck - I would never admit how I felt towards him. Especially since he found a girl he fancies. There was no way I was going to break them up, I loved him too much to do something destructive as that.

So there I sit, awaiting his arrival at the Garrison. I couldn’t even order a damn drink without him. But as minutes turned into a half hour, and that an hour, I gave up. He wasn’t coming, Martha probably needed him more than I, but as a good friend, I’m okay with that; as a secret admirer, however, I felt jealous - I just despised the thought of it - upset that he’d ditch me here.

Just as I was going to walk out, here came the handsome, blue eyed man himself. He looked to be panting.

“I’m sorry, Y/n, but Martha kept me. Sit. I have something to tell you.” He explained, hooking his arm with mine and pulling me to a secluded table. The smile he wore was one I have never seen before, so I couldn’t help but follow along and sit across from him.

The news must have been too important for drinks.

He looked at me, a smile still plastered on his flawless face, one that will most definitely be stuck in my mind for days on end. John looked like a little boy, happy that he was told he had good manners and behaviour in school, whilst really, he was quite the opposite. Except the manners, he had those covered.

I rested my arms on the table and leaned forward, impatiently waiting for him to speak. “Oh, get on with it John.” There is no way I’m playing the guessing game tonight.

“Martha, she’s with child. My child. Y/n, I’m gonna be a father.” It felt as if he’d spoken a foreign language, one I couldn’t understand but still heard. I’m sure my expression is surprised, since he waited for me to talk. I simply couldn’t.

Before he started to ask questions, I cleared my throat and threw on a forced smile. “Congratulations, John-boy. You’re a man now, I hope you know.” He let out a playful scoff and an eye roll, making us laugh.

“I’ve always been a man.” He replied, giving a smug smirk at the end. His eyes met mine for a brief moment before looking towards the shelves of liquor behind me. “I think this deserves a drink, eh?” Before I could answer him, he got up, lifted me by the arm and drug me across the nearly empty pub, and ordered us whiskey - an entire bottle to be precise.

This happened until the war broke out, boys across Europe were being sent to fight for their people, or enlisting, including John, and his two elder brothers, Arthur and Thomas. By then, Martha was pregnant with their fourth child, meaning she’d be alone for the birth of their baby girl, or boy. And she was, but Polly, Ada, Finn, and I were present, keeping her company before and after she went into labour.

It’s been four years since the boys left, leaving families behind, I know some won’t be returning, and it breaks my heart just thinking about it. There will be so many mothers, sisters, aunts, and wives without their men. And the ones that do return are going to be stuck with those God awful memories, nightmares.

Since they left, I’ve been the opposite of trouble, I’d actually gone to church with Polly and her little clan, along with Martha and her children. I prayed for the boy’s safety, that included my two elder brothers and the many cousins I have. They all meant the world to me, each of them taught me something valuable, and I couldn’t let the thought of them not coming home get the better of me, so I turned to God. Polly turned me to God.

And because so many unspeakable events happened in these long, devastating four years, all I wanted was my brothers home, and John. How I longed for him.

It must be pathetic to be falling this hard for your best friend - your now best friend’s husband - I hated how much I wanted him for myself. He’s got a beautiful wife, smart and rowdy children, there’s no way I could be that selfish. John has what he always wanted, a family of his own.

What kind of monster would try to take him away from those he cared for and loved? The question was branded into my brain and was beyond hard to ignore.

Tragedy struck when Martha fell ill, her sickness was beyond the doctors, and she was put on bed rest until it was her time to go. I couldn’t face not having her around, she and I became rather close - practically sisters - in the last few years. As time went on, she died peacefully in her and John’s shared home. Their children were heartbroken, they were young but old enough to know what death is.

Since her funeral, Polly put me on nanny duty, knowing she didn’t have time for them and the betting shop, I agreed. During the first few weeks, the children were a mess, throwing tantrums for their mother, refusing any food I cooked and bedtime. They soon got comfortable with me around more, until Polly announced she heard Germany had surrendered and all countries agreed to stop fighting until their negotiation was set.

Although I was still mourning the loss of Martha, I couldn’t be anymore happy that our boys will be coming home to us. The kids were beyond the moon that their dad was returning, and so it was the same thing all over again; they were acting up again, asking for their daddy.

I promised them soon.

Which brought us here, Birmingham train station, with loads of women and children, along with relatives of the men’s families. I held Daniel at my hip, glancing up from him telling me about his day every once in a while to see if the train was near, surely I would hear it if it were nearby.

This morning, early this morning, I would pinch myself to see if this were a cruel dream, or if it were real.

“I hear it!” Exclaimed Ada, her arms draped around Finn’s shoulders, keeping him in place so he doesn’t wander off. She gave a big smile and as if on queue, I heard the horn from a distance.

My heart rapidly pounded against my chest. It’ll be the first time in four years that I’ve seen my brothers. What scares me most is that they’ll be mad at me for not writing and telling any of them about our mother, but she made me promise not too until they got home, so I kept my word.

The train took another five minutes before it stopped in front of us, all our men were soon off once the doors opened. I searched from where I was standing for the two goofs that were my brothers, of course, not like I didn’t expect it, they stepped off with blank expressions; no look of happiness to be home.

I couldn’t help but let my tears flow. They’re not the same boys I grew up with, but men who’ve experienced more than they should whilst on the battlefield. The boys who used to be carefree and adventurous were not the men standing mere feet away from me. I secured Daniel before squeezing through the crowded train station, almost face to face with my older brothers. They looked different but I still recognized their faces.

Their cold gazes met my figure and softened. Immediately, I was embraced by both of them, sobbing onto their uniforms in no time.

“Is . . . is this real?” I asked frantically, not wanting them to disappear if I were to let go of them. They let out light chuckles and nodded.

“I’m afraid so, little sister, you can’t rid us that easy.” Mason jokes, trying to lighten up the mood, I could see his eyes searching for someone. Our mum. How am I going to tell them? It’ll be more difficult than I thought now that they’re here.

Andrew looked down at Daniel, his eyes lighting up. “Got yourself a bloke I see. Hope he’s treated you well whilst we were away.” He started to make silly faces at the boy in my arms, causing him to giggle. I shook my head, tightening my hold on him so he wouldn’t accidentally fall.

“He’s a sweetheart, but if you look closely, the boy resembles a Shelby. I’ve taken on the care of Martha and John’s lovely children since she died.” They looked at me like I sprouted two heads. “Yeah. Almost a year ago. Pestilence.”

But before another word was spoken, I was being embraced by someone else. Someone oddly familiar. Nonetheless, I wrapped my arms around them, feeling a sudden warmth, one I’d been missing more and more as the years went on.

“John.”

•••

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[bookandcranny]

Beatrice - Chapter Two

“We parted on difficult terms. He had some ideas that… challenged my sense of professional integrity. I told him I was out and, well, men like that don't tend to handle rejection too gracefully.

All I know of him after that point is that he ran into some health problems and was forced to step down from his position. It may seem cruel but I think the world is better off for it. Rappaccini is no more qualified to treat the human body than I am to teach a dance class.”

Students filed into the corridor, too busy rushing to their next destination to take note of the visitor as she slipped into the lecture hall. Branching off from the main room itself was a small office, and inside, a lone professor plugging attendance data and homework grades into a blocky desktop computer. Gianna waited until the last lingering students dispersed before announcing herself with a knock on the doorframe.

The professor looked up. “Well look who it is.” She adjusted her glasses and squinted at the figure before her, taking all of her in from the spots of dribbled varnish on her shoes upward. “And who is it who stands before me? Not Virgil’s little girl.”

“I actually go by Gianna these days. Or Ms Alexander if you’re feeling formal,” she said wryly, though not without affection. 

Her face broke out in a grin that deepened the wrinkles at the corners of her eyes. She unhooked her cane from the arm of her chair and stood. “The last time I saw you, Gianna, you were half-- no, a quarter of your height and missing your front teeth. Time is a funny thing, isn’t it.”

“You’re telling me, Dr Bagnol.”

“Call me Petra. Or Professor if you’re feeling formal.” She winked and patted her arm. “We are colleagues of a kind now, aren’t we? I think you’ve earned the privilege.”

“I don’t know about that. You’re a biochemistry teacher and I fuss around with cotton swabs.”

“Technicalities! Don’t sell yourself short. You know, your father called just recently and when he told me you were going to be working here, I thought he was going to burst a lung the way he wouldn’t stop singing your praises.”

Gianna blushed at that.

“Frankly, I’m surprised you didn’t set your sights higher than our humble university. I heard you were studying in Naples for a while.”

“I guess I was feeling homesick. Then I moved back in with my parents for a while and soon it was the opposite feeling.”

“Sick of home,” she supplied. “I know the feeling. I remember being your age, never wanting to be still for a moment. I was only surprised to hear you weren’t seduced away by foreign shores.”

She shrugged. “It was never about distance, I just needed to find a place where I felt like my life could really begin. And for right now I think that’s here.” Wanting to move the subject away from herself she added, “Dad says hi, by the way. He also says you need to start answering your email more than once a year.”

“Email. A man of literature like your father should give more respect to the written word. You tell him I won’t settle for less than a hand-scribed letter, like they did in the old days. I want to smell that clean valley air he goes on about etched into the paper.”

Gianna laughed. It was reassuring to find some things never changed. Although the silver in her hair had grown more prominent, Dr Bagnol was in many ways just the same as she remembered her. She never knew exactly how she and her father had met, only that it was while they were both still students, and that Petra had been a firecracker from the start, determined to surpass the role that had been imposed on her as a disabled woman in a field that was often unwelcoming to her. Though Gianna couldn’t say she knew her very well personally, the mythos that had been handed down to her had definitely played a part in her decision to become more independent. 

“I’m glad you’re here,” Petra said. “Virgil dropped some hints that I should track you down once you started working here but I told him I wouldn’t have that kind of attitude. You’re a grown woman and you don’t need nannying. However,” She picked up a tote from her desk and slung it around her shoulder. “Since you came to me, I’m free to invite you to lunch.”

“Dad wanted you to check up on me?”

“Don’t take it for a lack of faith in you. Parents worry. It’s what they do. I’m sure he just wanted you to have a familiar face to turn to, should you need it. Come to lunch with me, Gianna. We’ll catch up.”

“Oh, that’s okay. You don’t have to--”

“I’m just going to keep asking until you give in. You know that, right?”

She felt herself soften under her insistence. It wasn’t as if she had other plans anyway. “Yeah, alright. That sounds nice.”

Petra led the way to a little sandwich shop not far off campus and, despite Gianna’s protests, insisted on treating her. The weather was kind to them that day so they took their lunch on the patio watching the cars crawl by to the rhythm of the neverending traffic. They sat and ate and spoke of nothing in particular until, without warning, Dr Bagnol’s gaze caught on something in the distance that put a troubled frown on her face.

“What is it?” She started to turn in her seat.

“Nothing,” she said quickly. Too quickly. Her voice had taken on a sharp quality that startled the young woman, but she caught herself and when she spoke again her voice was even and deliberate. “I thought I saw someone I knew. That’s all.”

Not satisfied with her answer, Gianna glanced over her shoulder. Across the street, standing motionless in front of the crosswalk, was the withered old man she had seen in the garden that first day: Beatrice’s father.

Ever since she had met her that one evening on the fire escape, Gianna had come into the habit of chatting with her almost every day. She couldn’t always guarantee she’d be home from work when Beatrice went out to tend the garden, but on the days she spied her from her window she never hesitated to climb down and visit. 

Their chats together weren’t anything especially profound; she got the impression Beatrice really just wanted a friend to keep her company while she worked and Gianna was happy to provide. Often they kept the conversation light and simple. One would ask about the other’s day, or an interesting book they read, or something they heard in the news. Then Beatrice would eventually be summoned by her father or the memory of some other chore she had to attend to inside, and they would part ways.

On the occasions Beatrice wasn’t in such a pleasant mood however, no matter the initial topic the conversation would eventually find its way back to her father. Apparently he was, as Gianna had predicted, in a bad state and sick more often than not, and while Beatrice wasn’t his sole caretaker he trusted her more than the average nurse. The old man had been a doctor before being reduced to the role of patient, and a somewhat renowned one at that. He had homeschooled his daughter and taught her everything he knew. Now she was expected to apply that knowledge by taking on the bulk of responsibility for his care.

He was frail, she said, and the state of his health could be unpredictable, so she was on constant vigil. The only time she really had to herself was when he was asleep or on a rare errand, and she spent that time for the most part in the garden, the place that gave her the greatest sense of peace. It must have been hard on her, Gianna often thought, to be in the prime of her life and chained to his bedside. She understood though. If it had been either of her parents she was sure she would have done the same. 

Knowing this also gave her some more sympathy for the old man. It painted him in a more human light, and she berated herself for ever being afraid of him in the first place. But seeing him here now, staring at her again with those scrutinous sunken eyes, resurfaced some of that initial dread. Dr Bagnol seemed to sense it too.

At the moment Beatrice’s father was wearing an unseasonal gray overcoat and carrying an old-fashioned black carpet bag. He lifted his free hand and slowly waved at Gianna, his stony features cracking with the barest attempt at a smile, which did nothing to soften his appearance. In fact, the more she looked at him the more leering the grin appeared to be.

“Don’t acknowledge him, Gianna,” said Dr Bagnol coldly.

“No, no, it’s fine. That’s just my neighbor.” She forced herself to give a friendly wave in return. 

Petra reached across the table and grabbed her hand back. “What do you mean he’s your neighbor?”

“His building is next to mine. Why?” 

She sighed shakily and gave another glance across the street. The man was beginning to shuffle away now, the retreating shape of him becoming swallowed up by the crowd of fellow pedestrians. Petra released her hand and drew in a tense breath. She steepled her fingers together over the table.

“His name is Giacoma Rappaccini. He was… I knew him, for a time. Not well. He came to me for some insight on a project of his years ago.”

“I heard he was a doctor,” Gianna offered. “You worked together?”

The professor chose her next words carefully. “Officially, he was a 'doctor of holistic and alternative medicines', before he retired that is. But he liked to dabble. Botany, chemistry, anthropology, philosophy. I knew when I met him that he was the sort of man who could spend a hundred years studying and still feel he hadn't learned enough.” She smiled ruefully. “It was a quality we shared, so I agreed to assist him.”

“Doesn't seem like you like the guy much.”

“We parted on difficult terms. He had some ideas that… challenged my sense of professional integrity. I told him I was out and, well, men like that don't tend to handle rejection too gracefully. All I know of him after that point is that he ran into some health problems and was forced to step down from his position. It may seem cruel but I think the world is better off for it. Rappaccini is no more qualified to treat the human body than I am to teach a dance class. 

"He's a brilliant intellectual, sure, but he lacks any compassion, any consideration for the value of human life outside of points of data on a chart. He never cared about helping people with his medicine; he only ever cared about pushing his own limits. I think, in the end, he must have pushed himself too far."

Gianna sat and processed that. The man did give her the creeps but in the scant few times she’d witnessed him he’d never come across as malevolent, and Beatrice clearly loved him. Even on the bad days, she only ever spoke well of him, and it was hard to believe a girl like Beatrice could exist without having had a loving upbringing. Whoever her mother was or had been surely was loved by him as well. That was enough evidence for Gianna that he couldn’t be everything Petra claimed him to be.

“You said he’s your neighbor. Has he ever spoken to you? Invited you over?”

She shook her head. “Rumor has it he’s a pretty private person, and I’m not exactly going over to borrow a cup of sugar or anything.”

Gianna opted not to mention her afternoons with his daughter.

She relaxed at that reassurance. “Good. Take my advice and stay far away from Rappaccini. Nothing good ever came from getting too chummy with that man. Now, where were we?”

They changed topics and the conversation gradually returned to safer, more pleasant territory, but Gianna couldn't stop thinking about what she had said, about the old man and about the sweet but melancholy girl who was left alone with him.

-----

Against the professor’s advice, Gianna did continue meeting with Beatrice. It hadn’t even been a question in her mind whether she would. If anything, knowing about Petra’s history with Dr Rappaccini made her all the more curious about the young woman. 

She reasoned that she was still technically acting in line with Dr Bagnol’s wishes; she hadn’t so much as glimpsed the shadow of the man since their lunch outing, and the more she spoke with Beatrice the more certain she felt that the daughter was nothing like the boogieman father Petra had described to her, however much of her telling was even accurate.

Beatrice was a sweetheart, bookish and reserved. She smothered laughs behind her hand and averted her eyes when she found herself caught in Gianna’s warm gaze. She was smart, happily listing off the latin genuses of her favorite plants and reciting lessons on phytochemicals she suddenly remembered (she might as well have been speaking latin here too, for as much as Gianna understood her) but at the same time strangely naive. 

She had a boundless love for the world, yet Gianna got the impression she’d seen very little of it. Her eyes always went wide with interest when Gianna spoke of the traveling she’d done. Gianna never thought it was all that impressive but she would gladly talk about it, would say just about anything in fact, if it would get her to pay more attention to her than her flowers for a moment. 

One time, Gianna playfully inserted a flirtatious Italian phrase into their conversation and was flustered to find Beatrice spoke it near fluently, as well as Spanish, Portuguese, Romanian…

“How many languages do you know?” she asked, stunned.

“Six,” she replied. “Not counting English. I’m thinking about trying Mandarin next, and I can read Arabic but can’t speak it. Honestly, I’m not great with the conversational stuff. I’m just good at memorizing new vocabulary and being able to understand multiple languages gives me a much wider variety of reading material.”

She spoke about her talent with words like it was a card trick she’d picked up in her spare time.

“What do you like to read about?”

That got her excited. When Beatrice got excited she found it harder to play coy or smother her emotions under a layer of cool composure, so of course Gianna tried to get her excited as often as possible.

“Everything. Anything. Father’s library is huge but it’s mostly textbooks and old scientific journals and stuff like that. Which is fine,” she added hurriedly. “I like to read those too, but what I really like to read is… romance novels.”

She confessed it like it was some deep dark secret, grinning and turning berry red beneath the brown of her skin. It occurred to Gianna quite suddenly that she was falling in love with her. 

The panic set in right away. She had been happy to have Beatrice as a friend, tamping down her attraction in order to keep spending time with her, but now it was becoming clear that the dam wouldn’t hold forever. She needed to say something, if only to keep from leading her on, if only to keep her from getting the wrong idea or, heaven forbid, the right one. 

What if she was straight? Did gay girls read romance too? Did gay girls wear their dresses long and their hair short like her? Gianna had crushed on butches, on femmes, on lipstick, chapstick, snapback, every kind of sapphic on the vast spectrum of preference and presentation, and she still couldn’t get a read on her. Beatrice seemed to be from another world, another time, somehow out of step with the rest of humanity. If she started dropping hints, she couldn’t predict if she would follow her lead or recoil in disgust and never speak to her again.

That night, Gianna had a strange dream. She might have expected she would, given how wound up she’d felt since their last discussion. The ghost of her had followed her up, back through the window of her apartment, and as she tossed and turned in bed that night she was dizzy with it.

In her dream, she found herself walking in a cathedral. As was the way with dreams, her sight was blurry and visions danced and flickered in front of her eyes before vanishing in the same instant. However even as the edges of her surroundings blurred like a bad photograph, she heard the echoing of her footsteps clearly, and felt the largeness of the air around her. There wasn’t another way to describe it, she thought, just a strange sensation of vast emptiness surrounding her, rendering her infinitely smaller by comparison. 

She was a child now, and she was at a wedding. Or could it have been a funeral? There were flowers everywhere, but dark ones with big thorns and a smell that clung to the back of her throat and watered her eyes. She reached out to touch one and.

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