#calling me a meatbag and fucking Leaving

[meemrasmus-stash]

more robutts

[jpitha]

The Dreams of Hyacinth 12

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The buzzing of the call woke up Nick. He came to consciousness slowly, confused, tangled up in Eastern and Selkirk. It took a minute to realize what it was. His implants were buzzing with a ping from an outside source.

Nick sat up and remembering the things that Queenie taught him, checked the source and opened the connection. It was static, but he expected that; it was an encrypted link. It must be Sunny calling. He applied her keys and the message resolved.

"Hey meatbag. Got some news for you. I've got some information on your missing AI."

"Sunny?"

"Who else, fuckface? Ancestors, I can't stand BIs. How do you even sleep? The whole process squicks me out and makes me uncomfortable. You just go unconscious for hours at a time and are fine with it." Nick could see Sunny's avatar on the call shudder. "Anyway, I don't have much. That person did not want to be found, if they even exist at all." Sunny stops and her avatar looks thoughtful. "Nick are you sure this person exists?"

Nick wasn't actually sure. He said as much to Sunny. "We were ordered to find her from Jameson. He said she was his daughter, so we assumed she was real. Why would he lie?"

Sunny peered at Nick and raised an eyebrow. "Ancestors be damned you're thick, Nick. He's got all kinds of reasons to lie." Sunny looked down at something. It was only an avatar for their voice only call, but it did a decent job emulating her expressions. "Nick. I'll give you the info I found, and I did run right up against the contracted fifty hours, but." Sunny sighed. "I can't believe I'm being nice to a BI, what's come over me." She started again. "Nick, you might want to leave this one. Delta off Hyacinth, go start somewhere else. Jameson is a big hat here on Hyacinth, but only on Hyacinth. Even if you went in-system to Luna or hell, even Venus you'd probably be free of him."

"Wait, what? Why?"

Sunny gave Nick a look. "Because this whole thing stinks and I think that if you look deep within yourself, you'll smell it too." Sunny starts ticking points off on her fingers. "All you were given was a name and a statement that she's Jameson's daughter. Then you were stuffed full of cybernetics - you've even got a full starship piloting suite, something that as far as I know only went to Colony Captains. Then you were turned loose on Hyacinth and were picked up by Houndstooth almost immediately and told the same basic thing. 'Go get Yon.' Still no description." Sunny shook her head. "Nicholas North you are being played."

"To what end?"

"Fuck if I know, Nick. You didn't pay me to find that out." She raises a finger. "And before you ask, you don't have enough. I'm out. She gestured at him and a file appeared in his vision. "Here's what I found. Use it or not, I don't care. I'm just telling you to leave this one be because I'm so fucking caring about the lives of BIs." In a flash, she switched to the old, bubbly Sunny. "Don't call me again Nick! I'm deleting these encryption keys. If I see you in The Basement, I never met you, and I expect you to act the same way." Her fake Smile was sickly and disconcerting. "Bye Nick! Fuck off!" Sunny closed the connection.

Nick layed in bed, trapped by Eastern and Selkrik for a while longer. He used the opportunity to think about their predicament. Nick opens the file and uses Sunny's keys to decrypt it. As the decryption finishes, the keys evaporate, their job complete.

It's... not much to go on.

The report is peppered with little comments by Sunny, pointing out details and parts that - to her - don't add up. There might be an AI who goes by Yon when they're in a body and they probably claimed Hyacinth as a residence within the last fifty years. Nick stops a moment when he reads this. He knows that AIs can be old, and so long as they keep up on maintenance don't really die unless they're killed, but the fact that Yon may have lived on Hyacinth within the last fifty years is not a lot go go on. Reading further he sees that Sunny agrees with him that the timeline is way too wide to be effective. Sunny also points out that the moment she tried to dig deeper than superficial details she would get attacked by anti-hacking algorithms. Her annotation mentioned that they were "Real dark stuff too, not the normal watchdogs."

At the bottom of the report was an image. Sunny actually went through the effort of mimicking a handwritten note.

"Nick. My goodness you're fucked. If I were to guess, I'd say Yon did exist, but has nothing to do with anything in the last half century. You are being sent on a wild chase. I don't know why, and I don't care why. If you don't value your continued existence, bring it up with your employer. If you do value your continued existence, sell all your shit and book passage away. Doesn't matter where, just delta."

The note was then signed "Sunny" with crudely drawn hearts and daggers stabbing a stick figure of a person - probably a BI.

Nick leaned back in bed and sighed. He slowly and carefully extricated himself from the tangle of people in the bed and padded towards the kitchen. He got some coffee and tea going and once it was ready padded to the living room. Sitting on the couch, he carefully took a sip of the hot coffee and put his head back, leaning against the top of the couch and stared at the ceiling a long time.

After a while, Eastern and Selkirk came out, looking concerned. Selkirk came over and sat next to Nick while Eastern went and got coffee and tea for them. "Nick, what's wrong?"

"I got a message from Sunny."

"Not good news, I take it."

As they were talking, Eastern came in and handed a mug of tea to Selkirk.

Nick looked at both of them. Together, he thought. Together they'd get through this. "Sunny says that basically there might have been an AI that went by Yon who might have claimed residence on Hyacinth, but she wasn't able to pin down her living here anytime in the last fifty years. Basically, if she was real, she hasn't been around here in half a century." Nick sighed. "Sunny also said to never call her again."

Eastern and Selkirk were stunned into silence. All three of them stared up at the ceiling. "So, what does this mean?" Eastern was so quiet she was almost whispering.

"Means we've just gotten confirmation we're being played." Selkirk glowered into her mug of tea, her ears and tail fluffed out angrily."

"Yes, but by who? Jameson? Doesn't make sense. He seemed adamant that he had a daughter. He even gave Nick and me fucking cybernetics. Houndstooth? Siobhan wouldn't go through all that effort for nothing." Eastern rubbed her temples. "Argh, it doesn't make sense. Nothing makes sense."

Nick sat up suddenly. "What if that's it?"

Eastern stopped rubbing her temples and looked at Nick through the corner of her eye. "What's it?"

"What if that's it. What if Jameson and Houndstooth think Yon exists, but she doesn't. Or did, but not anymore. What if it's not us specifically being played but Hyacinth."

Eastern and Selkirk sit up and stare at Nick. "Why though?" Selkirk flicks her ears.

"If I knew that, we wouldn't be as fucked as we are." Nick stood. "Come on though, let's go pay a visit to Jameson. I've got an idea."

"A good one?" Eastern stands up with Nick.

"Oh Fuck no. This is incredibly stupid." Nick laughs. "But I don't have anything else."

The three of them left Eastern's apartment and walked out to the square. Nick looked at Eastern. "I don't have a Hopper account, and I don't know Jameson's address. Can you call us one?"

Eastern fumbles for her pad. "Sure Nick. We're getting pretty low on funds though, so unless we get a payout from Jameson we're taking the metro down to the bottom and then back up here when we're done."

"I thought we had an expense account." Selkirk puts her hands on her hips.

"We did. We burned through it."

"Hmmph. Some expense account."

The Hopper descended while they groused about money. Everyone climbed aboard and dashed across arms to the industrial arm where Jameson lives.

As they approached his building, there were a few of Jameson's goons sitting outside in folding chairs playing cards and watching videos on their pad. They looked up as the three of them walked up. The one by the door nodded and opened the door. "Jameson is in the back Eastern, check in with Kelly at the front desk first though, okay?"

Eastern, Nick and Selkirk were fully taken aback. This was not how they expected to be treated. "R-right you are. Thanks" Eastern answered and the three of them headed in.

In the comfortable waiting room, Kelly was where they saw her before, once again watching videos on her pad. She looked up as they entered. "Hey Eastern, Nick, Selkirk. I'll let Jameson know you're here."

The three of them sat on the chairs in stunned silence.

After three or four minutes the door opened and Jameson himself wheeled out to the waiting room. "Eastern! and Nick and Selkirk! How are you? Healing up all right? It's good to see you? You need a drink? Come on, come with me to my office and we can chat."

Eastern, Nick and Selkirk stiffly stood up and followed him into his office. This time there were no guards behind them to slam the door, no chairs with straps, no beds. Just Jameson's desk and a few chairs. They sat down stiffly and watched Jameson wheel himself behind his desk and connect.

"Ah. That's better. Now, what can Jameson do for you three?"

Nick couldn't stand it any longer. "Jameson, we think Yon doesn't exist, or if she did it was a half century ago. Are you sure she's your daughter?"

Jameson looked at them with an odd expression. "Who's Yon?"

Eastern's voice was a whisper. "What?"

Jameson shrugged. "Who's Yon? Never heard the name before. Are they an AI? Should I know them?"

Nick's mouth opened and closed a few times, trying to make words come forth. He stopped and took a long breath and held it a few seconds, letting is out slowly through his nose. "Jameson, a few days ago, you told us to find your daughter, an AI named Yon. You installed the cybernetic suite into me and Eastern to help find her. You asked us to find out where she was and bring her back."

Jameson frowned. He glanced down on a display built into his desk and his brow furrowed further. He pressed a button on his desk, and there was a bassy alarm. Nick could hear the thundering of feet and what sounded like shutters coming down. After no time at all, there was a crackle of a speaker on Jameson's desk. "We're locked down boss. What's up?"

Jameson pressed a button on the speaker. "Get the logs. Last two weeks. Institute a change freeze. Full work stoppage until we get the logs and they're gone through with a fine toothed comb." Jameson looked up at Eastern, Nick and Selkirk. "For what's it's worth, I believe you. This room has quite an advanced suite of electronics and sensors setup to detect if BIs are lying. You three are not lying in the least, but what you're saying does not match up with my memories. I remember giving you and Nick the cybernetics because you two had volunteered to be pilots on a starship."

"Starship? Jameson, I've been on one starship in my life. I took a Starjumper from Parvati to here, and that was it."

Eastern nods. "I've been on more than Nick, but I've never been on a Starjumper, never left Sol."

Selkirk's tail swishes. "I haven't been on a starship since I came here a quarter century ago"

Nick looks at Jameson "Which is all to say, I don't think any of us would volunteer to pilot a starship."

Jameson nods. "Exactly. Either you're lying - which if you are, fuck you're good enough that you can have my job - or my memories were edited. It's not impossible, but it's difficult and even more difficult to do without prior knowledge. But why?"

Nick's shoulders slumped. "That's what we were hoping to find out. We have no idea."

Selkirk's ears perk up. "Wait. Houndstooth took us almost right after we left your place. Someone Eastern knows... Siobhan maybe? She said that they had hired an AI to work for them and they were supposed to be in the coffin box that we stole. For a while we thought they meant Yon, but clearly if she doesn't exist, then either they're talking about a different AI or... they..." She trails off, worried.

Jameson looks up at the ceiling, thinking. "Siobhan, Siobhan... works for Houndstooth? Eastern, she's got red hair, freckles and those weird green eyes?"

Eastern nods. "That's her."

Jameson looks worried. "Eastern, she died six months ago."

Everyone swings their head around to look at Jameson.

"She.. died?" Nick felt the ground slipping beneath his feet. He started feeling dizzy.

"Yes. Died in a Hopper crash actually."

Eastern looks worried. "But wasn't she picked up after a job went bad?"

"The job you were with her on, and you ran away?" Jameson smiled. "Don't feel bad about that, by the way. You were right to run. But yes, she got 3 months probation because they couldn't pin anything really bad on her. Aggressive loitering or something stupid like that. After I kept mild tabs on her in case she wanted to come back for more work. I got a report that she was on a Hopper that crashed. She was the only passenger, dead."

Nick shuffles in his chair awkwardly. "So who spoke to us after we got picked up?"

"Now that Nick my boy, is a good question."

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[sorry-apsalar]

Frender Drabbles: Same as all the Other Meatbags, Right?

Summary: I would like a writing set in a pirate AU. I don't know why I see Bender so fucking good as a pirate, really. The plot, centered on Bender as captain, I would like the Planet Express crew and the main characters of Futurama to participate, occupying the respective roles that would correspond to this AU. At first, he believed that being one of the most famous and feared pirates was what he really wanted, all the treasures he wanted for himself. But, in one of his adventures and battles, he met a mermaid (Fry). And secretly, from that moment on, he never stops thinking about whether he would ever see him again. I would like you to have a memorable encounter in one of his battles, where Bender ended up injured and far from his ship, I leave it to your imagination <3.

Prompt was given to me in Spanish so here is the original before I ran it through google translate in order to understand it. "Quisiera un escrito ambientado en un AU pirata. No sé porque veo a Bender jodidamente bien como pirata, en verdad. La trama, centrada en Bender como capitán, me gustaría que la tripulación de Planet Express y los personajes principales de Futurama fueran partícipes, ocupando los respectivos roles que se les corresponderían a este AU. Él al principio, creía que ser uno de los piratas más famoso y temidos era lo que en verdad deseaba, todos los tesoros que quería para él. Pero, en una de sus aventuras y batallas, conoció a una sirena (Fry). Y en secreto, desde ese momento, no deja de pensar en sí alguna vez lo volvería a ver. Quisiera que hicieras un memorable encuentro en alguna de sus batallas, en donde Bender terminara herido y lejos de su barco, lo dejo a tu imaginación <3."

~

Lucky for Bender, when he’d been washed overboard it had been with a keg of ale. Fuel and something to hold onto to stop himself from sinking into the crushing depths of the ocean. Unlucky for Bender was that the gale had combined with the roar of canon fire had drowned out his calls for help. And now, his ship was well on its way to disappearing over the horizon.

But hey, at least the gale had finally cleared up. Leaving him bobbing up and down on the barrel as he watched his ship, leave. They’d won the battle naturally, the other ship now a floating wreck. So why hadn’t they turned around yet? Surely they’d noticed their captain was missing by now. They owed everything to him! He’d led them to far more success than they ever could’ve hoped for without him. So why wasn’t Leela turning the damn ship back around to come look for him?

He’d had swam towards them but the canon ball that had hit him had taken out one of his legs. A minor injury but how was he supposed to swim with one leg? He wasn’t designed to swim in the first place, very few robots were because the whole, metal sinks thing.

The barrel was already riding higher in the water with how much he’d drank from it. When he ran out of fuel would he be able to attach himself to it to stay afloat? Getting saved from such a state would be a long shot but far better than his chances of surviving the ocean’s depths. … What would it feel like to get crushed like a tin can by metric fuckton of water? His body could endure a lot of damage but probably not that, right? Meaning he was pretty damn screwed if he couldn’t keep hold of the barrel somehow. Which also meant he was pretty damn screwed in general.

“Come back, assholes!” He shouted after the ship, loud as he could. There was no way they heard but it made him feel a bit better anyway. “Turn around or I’m gonna be real mad.”

“I don’t think they can hear from all the way over here.”

Bender barely held back a flinch. Instead he turned to look at where the sudden voice had come from. A red-headed human floating in the water next to him, looking out towards the ship. “Where the heck did you come from?”

The human turned their head to look at him. “I swam up. Are you real robot?”

“What the hell else would I be?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never seen a real robot before. I thought the water was supposed to be bad for them.”

Bender scoffed. “As if mere water could hurt the likes of me. I’ll have you know that I’m Bender Bending Rodriguez, the world’s most famous and feared pirate captain.” He would be one anyway.

“I’m Philip J. Fry but you can just call me Fry. I’m uh… just a merman, nothing special.”

Ah, that explains where he’d come from then. “A merman, huh? I’ve never met a merman before. Can’t say I’ve ever cared to though. You’re basically the same as all the other meatbags, right? Except you live in the ocean.”

Fry shrugged. “I guess so. Anyway, you need help getting back to your ship? I can push your barrel.”

If most of him weren’t under the water, Bender would’ve looked him up and down, trying to find what he was hiding. Trusting him would be foolish but well, Bender wouldn’t be getting himself back to the ship any time soon and Leela didn’t seem to want to turn it around to come back for him. So he didn’t have many other options here. “What’s the catch?”

“Uh… no catch. I just think robots are cool and have always wanted to meet and talk to one about land and robot stuff.”

“So you wanna help me back to my ship as an excuse to hang out?”

“Pretty much, yeah.”

Bender wasn’t sure he believed that but who wouldn’t want to hang out with him? And what other choice did he have? “Sure. You may help me get back to my ship. Not that I can’t get back to it myself of course, just I’m too lazy too.”

“Okay.” Fry dove under the water. He came back up a moment later, right next to Bender. Close enough that his arms brushed up against Bender’s as he put his hands on the barrel and started to swim, his powerful tail propelling them forward at a pace that was fairly quick but… even with the ship slowed by the damage it had taken from the battle, it would still be a long while before they reached it. And likely Fry, as was the case with all biological beings would have to stop to rest and eat every so often, making the journey take even longer. But at least Bender was finally properly moving towards his ship. He’d just have to get used to his new companion.

[tsuki-sennin]

Oh what's this!? A double-stuffed deluxe serving of PreCure, served at late night! 25 and 26! We're goin' out into the woods! And make a new nemesis, but such is life! And in Episode 26? Who knows~! But with a title like "Kokone's Promise! Challenging King Green Pepper" I think this might be a simple one.

Spoilers, I guess...

This is a long boi btw, figured you'd like to know.

-Ohayo, Yuin~!

-Yeah kicked ass two weeks ago, huh?

-That's definitely a Delicioustone, but what we buildin', Narshe?

-Spiritoru?

-Bundoru bundoru?

-Holy shit he made a robot.

-Nikoniko? Nico Nico Nii?

-Alright ladies, I realize there's quite a natural bounty before us, but don't take chances with mushrooms and unfamiliar berries, eh?

-They put shades on the fox.

-The dog and dragon too!

-Oh Mari-chan, you too?

-Guess Kokone would feel nervous. I can't imagine she's spent much time so far away from an urban setting.

-Oh fuck

-Ghoast!

-To be fair, ghosts are kinda real in other PreCure titles.

-What a nice town!

-I see the soundtrack's followed us here, hmm?

-"Fuck it, I can't find my way around here, I'm gonna set this whole forest on fire."

-Alriiiight, let's go!

-Koko-neechan!

-Y'know, for a murder ghost robot, Spiritoru seems like a pretty swell chap.

-Spin the tent!

-We used to play this game a lot in elementary school.

-No pot!

-It's okay, I know a dealer~!

-...Takumicchi, did you run here!?

-Oh, Minato-san.

-"Goddammit, I have to wake up early..."

-Listen to Amai-kaichou. Having a meal out here in such a beautiful campground as this would be perfect!

-Ooooooh, paella~!

-Oooooh, a seafood paella~!

-No fire, huh?

-Well, can't really blame them. Most of the fires I usually start are by accident.

-My grandmother said this... "If you wish it to be so, luck will always be on your side."

-Ranchi, my girl.

-Hooray! Fire!

-Spoooooky happenings!

-Oh, a thicc boi, huh?

-Ranchi got Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen's number 1 hat.

-There was a thicc boi!

Ran-Ran: He was the Eggman! Takumi: He was the Eggman? Amane: He was the Walrus!? Goo goo g'joob!?

-"Dinner's ready, bitches!"

-Oh shit, Narshe's building up.

-Y'know Seccy, I'd probably like you a lot more if you actually did something!

-Oh shit, Spiritoru face reveal.

-I love him already.

-Ooooh, a whole barbecue goin' on!

-Recibepis

-"Fuck, my clout!"

-And just like that, Takumicchi takes his leave.

-Ahhhh, c'mon lad!

-Recipeppi, hellooooo!

-Don-Don! Iitotokomkke! Oh wait, wrong series

-Cubed meat?

-Is he... spoiling the eat?

-"Is he a fucking robot. That's cringe."

-As a recently converted Ruru Amour stan, your distaste is noted, Rosemary.

-"Ohhhhh, the famous Pretty Cures!"

-Oh shit, he's got a wrench!

-I see, so an Ubau-zo doesn't have to be strictly a kitchen tool, eh?

-I kinda knew that, but feels weird to see this used.

-"On behalf of my Dad, I will beat you up!"

-What should I call you, Spiritoru? I like you, I'd hate to be mean to you the way I am to Narshe and ambivalent like I am to Seccy...

-"Ganbare! Ganbare! U-Bau-Zo!"

-One of my favorite villain archetypes is the "Surprisingly strong comic relief", so I'm definitely having fun with Spiritoru. He's got such a banger design, I love him.

-"You meatbag humans don't get it! Why eat when you can recharge!?"

-That's it, Yuin, punch that gigantic solid metal monster thing.

-Don't stop on our account Precious!

-"Nisen Kilocalorie Punch!"

-Unit conversion tells me 2000 Kilocalories is equivalent to 8368 kilojoules. 2 kilos worth of of TNT!

-GIrl's got a lot of power behind those punches.

-We did it! The barbecue has been saved!

-What a nice guy he is!

-Men need their beauty sleep just as much as men do!

-Ah, old maid! I kick ass at this game, deal me in!

-Gotta water your mind for your

-Oooooooh, that starscape is very nicely drawn.

-Kokone episode, hell yeah!

-Well, I'll see you all next time when I see Kokone talk about green peppers.

-.

-Next time, let's go!

-Mmm... Spiritoru, Spiritoru...

-Supi-kun?

-Supi-kun, definitely.

-Oh shoot, there's nobody who can make Delicioustones huh?

-...I have to ask though... what exactly is Supi-kun doing to the food by capturing the Recipepsiman?

-Like, Gentle fucked up the flavor and ruins everybody's meals. I can see how this can completely fuck over a restaurant's reputation and how Amane would feel guilty over this.

-Narshe steals memories associated with certain foods, and we saw first hand how that can hurt a person and how tragic it'd be to lose a cherished memory.

-All we've seen Supi-kun do is cube meat. I can see why having something like that happen to you while you're eating dinner would frazzle you, but the food seems otherwise just fine.

-"Fuck it, lunchbreak!"

-Oooooh, I love green peppers!

-God, stuffed with cheese and baked, or chopped up into a salsa, or cut up with beef in steak fajitas...

-I should pull a Shinichi Saruhara and imagine myself some of my favorite dishes after this. It's super late at night and it'd take way too long to cook, and I don't even think we have the ingredients...

-Kome-Kome's suffering is incalculable.

-Kokone, a hardened veteran of the Pepper Wars.

-I will save you, Kone-Kone.

-I mean, Koko-meechan.

-Koko-Koko

-I used to be a pretty picky eater as a kid. I don't know exactly how I grew out of it, but nowadays I usually try to recognize ingredients I like and how they fit into the bigger picture of the dish.

-Takumicchi's dad has the right idea! Introducing them as components to something you do like.

-Oh, Takkun!

-...Takkun...

-Ah, sorry, uh... "Takkun" is a nickname reserved for somebody else, in my heart.

-Yeah, help us out!

-Hide the bitterness.

-Green peppers in a pound cake?

-I'm a big carrot cake guy, but... how on earth?

-Is Yui one of those moms who'd try to bake brussel sprouts into brownies?

-"Nooooo, Kokone! They'll murder you!"

-King Green Pepper seem a charitable and courteous capsicum.

-He and his other bell pepper kin actually register at a solid zero on the Scoville scale, so if he proves too much for you, the name "Cure Spicy" will unfortunately prove to be wasted on you, Kokone.

-"Yo Godatz, I'm the new guy!"

-"NOOOO DON'T TALK TO HIM LIKE THAT YOU FOOL! YOU LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER WHILE SHE'S TALKING TO YOU!"

-I think I'm liking Seccy more and more now jhkjlh

-Eat the food, fox girl!

-"HOLY SHIT WHAT WHY IS SHE SO BIG"

-"...Fack."

-Oh wow, she bonked.

-C'mon Koko-neechan, be a big girl! This is... honestly very embarassing!

-Good evening, DILF Butler!

-Yeah, you at least attempted, huh?

-Y'know, there's quite a bit of what I personally read as neurodivergent subtext to Kokone's character, so I get where she's coming from with this.

-Hell, my distaste for non-fried shrimp even has a similar origin to hers.

-Let's just say there's a very good reason why you devein and remove the shells from them. No amount of thorough cooking will undo that pain.

-Dish washin' time.

-"IF THAT BITCH DOESN'T EAT THESE FUCKING PEPPERS I AM GOING TO SHIT"

-Y'know, maybe Narshe should've installed a GPS in Supi-kun. Probably would've helped.

-Whomst

-Ooooh, that pepper is a thicc boi

-That shot of Pam-Pam hiding in the peppers is honestly super adorable.

-Friends with the peppers!

-The secret ingredient is always love.

-Oooooh, that's tantalizing...

-"Pepper Detected."

-Don Don! Toru Toru! Bundoru!

-Takumicchi, you gotta breathe better man!

-Pepper flavored curry and rice! Smoked turkey and pepper jack panini! Bell pepper udon stir fry! Bell peppers are botanically fruits because their seeds are on the inside of the pods!

-Delicious Party Pepper Cure!

-Oh yeah, you're technically not that kinda pepper, huh Blackpep?

-Man, Supi-kun's way better at monster design than his Dad.

-Hmmm... part of me wonders if Narshe intentionally programmed him to have this kind of conflict?

-"For fuck's sake, just eat your goddamn peppers, kids!"

-Crusty Bread Barrier!

-Daaaamn, Kokone opening fire on her own.

-You go girl!

-Humans do a lot of things, Supi-kun.

-Don't look back Takumicchi, just run!

-Hell yeah, we've recovered!

-Oh god that mouth shot

-That was unneccesary

-Pepper Steak! From hit indie RPG Maker game off!

-Mmmmmm...

-I thoroughly enjoyed both of these episodes as usual. Not a lot left for me to say, other than "Goddammit, I need to imagine those peppers right fucking now."

-Now, if you would excuse me... Join me when I wake up for Kamen Rider Geats, Episode 1! And on Saturday! With episode 27 of this show~!

-Episode 27!

-RANCHI EPISODE

-Lot of Kome-Kome focus, huh?

-...Oh god, she's gonna fucking morb.

-Anyways, look forward to that, this has been way too fucking long~!

[seeds-and-sins]

On the Fly

Pairing: Homelander / Reader

Rating: T (Language, lots of bad language)

Description: You are a loud mouth New York cop that doesn't give two shits what anybody else thinks. Homelander is the hero of America, the stars and stripes of justice. The fans ship you two together so bad, and it was all your fault. If only you had kept your mouth shut.

It was such a cheesy, stupid idea that the Vought marketing team had developed. One single interaction between Homelander and some tiny, pathetic little officer goes viral, and all the fans want more of it, ALL of the fans. You were just doing your duty that day, Homelander and Queen Maeve intervened when your partner and you were about to lead a huge drug raid that had been planned for months. You, always having been the more forward one, approached Homelander, when she just so happened to be addressing the news about the incident.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" His eyebrows rose up at the sight of you, a fleshbag at most, badgering him. Your hair was loose, the NYPD vest fastened tightly on your torso, toned biceps flashing, gun at your side, he was absolutely confused at first. No officer just straight up approached him unless they wanted an autograph, or a handshake. You wanted neither. And you were so angry, your New Yorker accent was shooting out of from your lips without restraint.

"Excuse me?" He then snorted, reminding himself that you were both being watched.

"This was my raid, not yours, you don't just come fucking barging in without notice. We had planned this for months."

"And I understand that, um..." He forced a smile, although he really wanted to just break your neck. No one had ever had the gull to speak to him that way. "You are the real heroes."

"Oh, like that fucking shit is going to cut it, huh?" You pushed Homelander, although it was almost like pushing a wall, you did it anyways. Everyone around you both made a resounding gasp, even some of the emergency services crew members in the backdrop paused what they were doing. "Listen buster, I trained for this shit show, and what did you do? You were born with the power to fucking fly and shoot lasers from your eyes? Big fucking whoop!" Homelander's jaw went taut and he sighed agitation.

"And don't you know who you are talking to? I saved your lives and made your jobs easier." You crossed your arms, lip pouting out.

"I didn't become a cop so that you could make it easy for me. I knew what I signed up for. Next time, mind your own shit! I will keep you on stand by."

"Next time, I will still do what heroes always do." He stated firmly between clenched teeth, then bowed down closer to you, perhaps in an attempt to intimidate you, but to his surprise you didn't even flinch. You came straight forward, faces an inch from eachother as you kept a hard eye contact.

"You fucking come into my establishment again, I will have your ass." You growled, fists at her sides.

"And we'll see how well that goes for you, officer." He snarled right back, then you were storming off. Even though you truly wanted to be the last one standing, you had work to do.

The next day you did the usual routine. You went on your six miler, hit the weights at the gym, and then got ready for the day. You didn't think anything of it, got your coffee, grabbed a whole of the daily paper and walked to work in uniform. As soon as you showed up to the department, it was a shit storm. People were flying back and forth, colleagues of yours sent you stares without replying to your greetings, the whole place was in disarray. Then you saw him, and your blood only boiled more, he was standing with the commissioner and several unfamiliar faces. When the commissioner saw you, his entire expression lit up in that face you knew all too well, the 'I am trying to hide how pissed I am so I will smile' face.

"Officer (L/N)! Come over here!" He exclaimed with feigned excitement, he scurried the lit of you into his office, where you took your usual seat. You had been here before, you weren't usually very good at following the rules as it was. This blonde woman took the seat beside you, two others standing behind her with clipboards. She had this eerie grin on her face, not much different from Homelander's.

"Officer (L/N), its a pleasure to meet you." She held her hand out, you didn't accept it and tilted your head towards your boss.

"What the fuck is going on?" As the woman retrieved her hand, the red head behind her replied in an all too chirpy tone.

"The fans love you! They want you in a team up with Homelander." She explained, you rolled your eyes and then stood with a sigh.

"This is a joke. I am not doing it."

"You have no choice, (Y/N)." Your boss said and he said it all too sternly, surely he would have your badge if you disagreed.

"I don't believe this, why me? Huh? Because I said what everybody else was thinking?!"

"Here are some of what the fans have been saying." The other one handed her clipboard to you, the blonde still staring in silence with that polite and cringy smile. You squinted as you read over the list of comments, particular on the viral video between Homelander and you.

"Aww, they are like an old married couple?!" You read aloud, "What the fuck?!" Then down to the next one. "Why don't they just get a room?! Team up?! What the fuckety fuck?!"

"It appears the two of you have had some chemistry, I suppose." The blonde finally spoke coolly, you then raised your glare to Homelander.

"Do you think we have chemistry? Huh? 'Cause I think you are just a fucked up, flying monkey asshole."

"(Y/N)!" Your boss chastised, you crossed your arms with a sigh.

"Whatever, lets just get this over with. People will get sick of it eventually."

"Perfect, we will have the cameras on you, as soon as within the hour." Your jaw dropped, and you wanted to speak in protest, but the words wouldn't leave your lips. As everyone left the room, Homelander was the lsst one to tap your mouth shut, he grinned.

"You're a celebrity now, (Y/N). Get used to it." You thought you could, but it was so much work trying to ride this out. The cameras followed you for weeks, allowing Vought to post short videos of your encounters with Homelander. Homelander replaced your partner for that period of time, which only drifted your friend and you further apart. The short videos became so popular, soon the two of you had your own TV show every night at nine. It was originally called Justice.

"Do you think we could film your workout routine, (Y/N)?" Vought was insufferable in their addiction for the show, it had gotten a lot of publicity and was a number one hit for the industry. Homelander accompanied you on bank robberies, house calls, domestic disturbances, etc. Meanwhile, the both of you disagreed over everything and the banter only made the two of you more popular. Vought started making t-shirts and memorabilia that selled like crazy. The two of you posing, your playful remarks, and almost all of the words that left your mouth:

Flying Monkey Motherfucker!

It was like a fucking hillbilly porno!

Go fuck yourself with some bullets!

Listen, I have bigger balls than this two bit motherfucking laser machine!

That was when the true name of the show was born:

"Yeah, like you think I am going to be like you, fucking on the fly-"

"That's it!" One of the producers shouted from behind the cameras. Homelander and you glared at him, annoyed that anybody would interrupt the very imoortant argument you both were having. From that point on the show was named 'On the Fly', it ran like crazy, and despite its popularity, Homelander and you still hated each other's guts. The fans expected the picture portrait chemistry off screen, and neither of you really understood what they meant. Until Season 8, that is...

"There's about twenty of them." Homelander stated, as he eyed the side of the warehouse.

"Perfect! Half and half." You cocked your guns and the both of you started towards the double doors, leading in through the back. There was a body cam on you, one on Homelander, and a cameraman, one of several as some of them had been 'accidentally' into the mix of shoots and dangerous fights.

"Last time you said that, you killed one of my guys." Homelander stated, pointing a finger at you in warning not to make the same mistake again.

"We'll just separate everyone as we go, okay?" You stood back as Homelander kicked the chained doors open, the shots started firing almost instantly. One thing Homelander could respect you for was that you kept up very nicely, for a meatbag that was. You were fit and vigilant and would have made a fantastic hero, if you had powers.

Homelander grabbed you by the back collar of your vest, tossing you gently up to a catwalk that crossed the warehouse, where you easily shot at four of the criminals. Homelander skillfully did his work, lasers flying around, punching threw chest and throwing people out of the roof. You both finally came to the last guy, he was unarmed. You were out of ammo and mags. You holstered your gun and grinned at him.

"Is this one mine?"

"Sure is," Homelander cringed a bit, the guy was bit and hefty, twice your size. "Unless you want me to handle this one." The man's eyes widened and he shook his head, then raised his fists toward her.

"Nope, I got it." As always, you struggled fighting against the bigger ones, but you always caught up. Homelander stood off to the side, herring you on even as you got your face punched or as you were thrown against a storage container.

"Keep going, (Y/N)! Just shout if you need help." He would mock, arms crossed, that one camera man looking in in horror. Finally you grabbed the back of the guy's head and drilled your knee into his face, he dropped to the side unconscious. Breathing heavily, bloodied face, fists clenched and sweating pooling off your skin, you kicked him one last time. You nearly fell back if Homelander hadn't been there to prop a firm hand against the middle of your back. "I knew it." He grinned, wiping a hand across the bruise on your cheek. "I could have done better, but..."

"Oh, fuck you, you pile of heroic shit." The both of you started to walk side by side back out of the front, where several cameras waited and the camera crew stood to finish the episode. You both turned to eachother and stared, you placed your hands on your hips.

"Not too bad, supershitter." You said with a huff after finally catching your breath.

"You too, officer, you too." But it felt dull, something was off, the air was thick and the wind was a bit too breezy for your taste.

"Cut!" The director came forward from the crowd, smiling with that off smile, he could feel it too. "We are going to run this ending again. Why don't you guys kiss, or something?"

"What?!" You narrowed your eyes on the director, that was where you drew the line.

"No. Not happening." Homelander chuckled, like it was some joke. You didn't know why his denial offended you right then and there, but it did.

"What am I not pretty enough for you? Fucking jerk." The director slowly started to back peddle, gesturing to the cameras to start rolling again. Homelander held his palms up in surrender and shrugged.

"You have blood and shit all over your face, why would I want to kiss you?"

"Oh, so if I didn't have shit on my face, you would do it?" You saw Homelander hesitate for a moment before returning to that same confident swagger of his.

"No, I never said that."

"Well, then what the fuck is the problem?! Why wouldn't you kiss me? Hmm?"

"Why does it bother you so much?" He jested, hands now on his hips and he stepped closer. He had to tilt his gaze down to consider your tinier self.

"Why does it bother you that it bothers me?" His eyebrows furrowed to contest.

"It doesn't bother me." He spat, you crossed your arms and smirked evilly, only really wanting the last word. It didn't matter if he kissed you, or not, right?

"I think it does. I think you are lying." You teased.

"What makes you say that?"

"Because if it didn't bother you, you would just kiss me and get this shit over with."

"Fine." You didn't expect him to just go with it, your eyes widened as you stared up at him, hands dropping to your sides. Then you shook your head, pulling yourself back into thst glare.

"Fine, then." And you both leaned into each other, tight lips pressing together, and you hated yourself but you enjoyed the contact more than you'd like to admit. Everything was quiet, so quiet a pin could drop on the asphalt and everyone would be able to hear it. You gasped when Homelander's hands snaked around your waist, and your own hands found his biceps for support as you were slightly lifted off the ground. The gasp opened your lips and Homelander's tongue slid through and the kiss deepened as your mouths opened up and fought for dominance. Homelander held you tighter as he then ascended thousands of feet up into the sky. You gripped him harder and cried out, cheek pressing to his, now too high up for the cameras to find you.

"Hom-John, what the fuck, man?! Put us down!"

"Shut up." And he kissed you again, then soaring you both through the sky towards a destination unknown. You were so lost in the kiss at that point, that it didn't matter where you were going. This was the last thing you expected to happen, ever, in a million years. But you weren't going to complain...

Meanwhile, the camera crew and director stood down below in shocked silence. The silence was soon broken by the director's words:

"That was absolutely fucking perfect! Cut scene!"

Master List

[yakumtsaki]

“HAHA, the council still hasn’t realized my shapeshifting is back! Idiots!”

“OH FUCK, MY BEAK.”

“The landing could have been more graceful, but I’m here, let’s get this over with.”

-Look, Phi, it’s Aunt Olive! Can you say “auntie”?

-...........

-Not very bright, is she?

-Yes, she is! You didn’t talk until you were six!

-That was by choice.

-Of course it was. Will you please stop dropping your ashes on my floor? And smoking next to my baby for that matter?!

-You know what, Willow, it’s getting late and I need to beat the traffic back to Strangetown, so I’ll be going now, but this was great. Let’s do it again after she’s married. 

“Alright, no meatbags around..”

“..and this time, I’ll watch out for trees.”

-Time for your bath, sweetheart! 

-Onti!

“Die and leave me with your mini meatbag, why don’t you, Willow? This crying will drive me insane, I should do something comforting.”

“Such as stroke her hair? There, there, little girl. You still have Aunt Olive, who hasn’t seen you since you were two. This is going to be a nightmare. Oh, she calmed down a little.”

“NOT NOW, GODDAMMIT, CHANGE ME BACK.” 

“The small meatbag has proven less disruptive to my life than anticipated. She doesn’t ask for much or have annoying little meatbag friends over. Come to think of it, it’s been almost a year since she moved here, does she still not have friends?” 

“She doesn’t! Look at those rude little shits, they’re completely ignoring her.”

-WOAH, Ophelia has a pet crow!

-Cool!

-Does it eat dead people?

“Haha, stupid easily dazzled children.”

-Hey, I’m Johnny! Come play with us! Bring the crow! 

“Oh, look who’s friendly now that she has a crow. Opportunistic green brat. I don’t trust him.”

“Alright, I suppose he’s not that bad.”

“Well I DEFINITELY don’t trust this one. Consumption-stricken little shit. Where is he taking her in the middle of the night?-”

“-To a bench to whine about his father. Ugh, what a time-wasting loser. Save it for your diary.”

-Wow, it’s hard to believe on my next birthday I’ll be at La Fiesta.

-Oh yes, speaking of that, you might want to check the mail.

-Wait, this is an acceptance letter.. from the Academie Le Tour? But I already got their answer, I didn’t get in.

-I know, I called them to verify it, the rejection letter was some sort of clerical error. Are you not glad?

-No, no, I am, but I’ve already made plans for La Fiesta with Johnny and Ripp, this is really sudden..

“UGH, Johnny and Ripp.”

-Oh, Johnny and Ripp are also going to the Academie.

-They are? How? Ripp didn’t even apply there.

-What have I told you about overthinking good news?

-‘Don’t overthink good news’. But how is it possible-?

-And what have I told you about pestering me with pointless questions?

-‘Don’t pester me with pointless questions’.

-There you go then. Blow out your candles.

-Ms. Specter, with a donation this generous you could have a library or an entire campus named after you, why would you want to keep it anonymous?

-Ah, yes, so glad you brought that up. 

-Do you have everything?

-Yes. 

-Do you remember the PIN to the bank account?

-15129225.

-Good. Now, if you’ll excuse me I have some errands to run, your car will be here in one hour.

-Alright! Take care, Aunt Olive. I’ll see you at Christmas? 

-Well, I suppose if you did want to come here for the holidays, it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

“Where the HELL is that damn car, they’re 20 minutes late! Who knows what could have happened to a girl waiting alone by the road in 20 minutes!”

“ABOUT TIME. Useless asshole, I know who’s dying this weekend.”

-Aunt?

-Yes, what is- “Wait- SHE KNOWS IT’S ME?!”

-Before I leave, I wanted to thank you for everything. You’ve always looked out for me. I wouldn’t had made it without you. 

-Do you know.. everything about me? Who I am?

-Know what? You’re my family.

“Sappy little meatbag.”

-Could you call me when you get there?

-I will. Goodbye, Aunt Olive. 

“Goodbye, Ophelia.”

[beloved-death]

4 Year Anniversary

I’ve had this blog for 4 years now, it has certainly felt like eternity.

None of my blogs have lasted anywhere near this long, and while it ultimately failed (55 followers LMAO down from like 180 max) I’ve had fun. I haven’t changed much these 4 years but to you all I have. To me I am just more cynical, more depressed and hopeless (I’m still unreasonably edgy and I embrace that). I don’t like to think about those early times, when I wasn’t being the most cringe person here I was slowly ruining friendships by being incredibly annoying. Was it all my fault? Probably not, but oh well can’t change that shit. 

Going through these old interactions hurts but they were more innocent times, when people had fun with my nonsense. Back then the only lore I had was a disillusioned Reaper looking for anything to break the dread of being alive and making happy memories, and a member of a species all my own with a big heart and trauma just trying to live his long life the way he wants to. Kira was originally going to be the primary character on this blog but that didn’t last long. Nul was just one success after another and EVERYONE liked the character and his morbid humor. Kind worn it all out though. At least he didn’t become flanderized (seriously when’s the last time you heard Nul call someone a meatbag or pulled a cryptic prank on someone that wasn’t Bor?). He had some wonderful growth, shame Kira never got much. I built a whole universe and lore that I still love working on but its not suited for books, a graphic novel maybe, but not a book.

Every additional character has been a disaster to some extent: Nala was a massive mistake and I still don’t know why I made her (another world eater was a good idea but awfully executed), Olivia never fit and her threads were pathetic because they were impossible to write, I don’t regret Sun though he was a proper fucking addition that got a lot of interest but its sad that by then the interactions dried up, and I don’t want to think about Mason he was an attempt to make a more RP friendly character but all my interest in him died as soon as I posted that bio because I HAD DONE IT AGAIN! I MADE A CHARACTER THAT IS A TERRIBLE PERSON AND IS VERY DIFFICULT TO RP WITH! My verses interactions have been some of my favorites and I wish OCs in fandom RPCs weren’t shit on so hard, I would love to go back but all I can do are the custom protagonists or actual OCs and then I’d be repeating the cycle all over again.

Perhaps my time to leave was long ago, I just don’t got it anymore. I suppose it’s nice that people are here for me now, never really had that before. I’m not leaving anytime soon though (barring mental health forcing me to act irrationally) and I hope to make more friends and maybe by some miracle get this blog back in action.

Happy Birthday Beloved-Death

“I just love their interactions forgive me”

“ AHHHH i am super excited to see how it’s going to turn out!! it already sounds super interesting!!! i love the idea of reapers tbh and you’ve put a whole new spin on them i am totally game for this!!!! “

These two hurt so much. Back when people thought I was funny, engaging, original, and a joy to rp with. NGL my favorite people to write with, I had amazing chemistry with both. I had more trust back then too...

Nul had 2 friends at one point, that was perhaps the best point in my RP history. It felt wonderful. I don’t think I’ll ever chemistry again.

Let’s also not talk at all about the Sarg persona, that’s going to my grave.

[miss-choco-chips]

Janet Drake...

and the Orphans. She doesn’t care for them. Except when Timothy does, because then it’s a problem™.

----.----

The days following the circus tragedy found Janet constantly wearing a curious accessory. And by that, she means Tim was hanging on to her at all times like a stubbornly stuck belt or backpack, depending on whether he was clinging to her waist or shoulders.

It was a little suffocating at times, but to be honest, the cercany helped her frayed nerves as well as his growing separation anxiety. Because Jack had left, and she was still steaming over the fact.

Her husband, back home for the week, had left for the next dig site earlier than expected, scared away by Timothy’s nightmares and cries. As if it were weird for a four year old to be scared out of his mind by witnessing another little kid’s parents die in front of him. As if it was a minor inconvenience and awkward situation, instead of future therapy material for their kid.

‘Coward’, she thought, full of spite, hand carefully brushing Tim’s hair away from his forehead as he slept with his head in her lap, watching from the couch as Jack trudged down the stairs with his travel suitcase at the ready. 

She wouldn’t ask him to stay, though. Timothy deserved parents willing to stay by their own volition, no some half witted irresponsible man-child who couldn’t deal with a little emotional trauma. 

Like, Janet herself wasn’t the best at reassurance, but at least she was trying, dear god. That had to count more than Jack’s escape act.

But, useless husband aside, she was… worried. About her son.

Emotional trauma wasn’t something she could just intimidate into submission. Some desperate dream, like owning an island, she had the money to fulfil for him. Unknown attacker to eliminate? Sure, there were no lacking meatbags in the market for hire to...make someone else disappear. But dealing with stuff that included heart to hearts and love? Yeah, no. She always thought Jack would be the one dealing with that kind of thing, so she was wholly unprepared for it. It also wasn’t an issue she could just push into her friends; Both Nicole and Lex were equally as unexperienced (inept) in that area.

Though, they did offer some sound advice.

“Take Timothy to see the boy”, suggested Luthor during their weekly business call (or, as Nicole called it, their bitchfest, where they despised together about the concerning lack of braincells flowing in the rest of the corporate world). “He’s probably worried sick about two things: your safety, and the kid’s who he saw become an orphan. Maybe seeing him well cared for by Wayne will be soothing enough for him to relax a little. Fuck if I know. Now, back at my story… You wouldn’t believe what that empty brained, graceless twit Oliver Queen said then.”

So Janet followed his advice, both about the visit to Wayne Manor and not making business with Queen.

After the first uncomfortable five minutes where Tim tried to stutter a condolence out, the kids had taken to one another like fishes to water. The adoration was clear in Tim’s eyes, shining through his nervousness, like that damn bat signal broke through the clouds to illuminate the city.

And Richard, Dick as he asked to be called, absolutely laped at it, doing flips and jumps, each one flashier than the one before, enticing claps from his captive audience of one. He laughed when Tim asked his usual hundred questions, undeterred by her son’s enthusiasm. There were tinges of the sadness and mourning on his eyes, but they were chased away by the four year old’s joy whenever he told a pun.

Sitting at one of the tea tables overseeing the garden where the kids played, Bruce and Janet interchanged looks.

-It was a good idea to bring Tim over, Janet -praised the man.

-Of course -she replied primly, choosing to not inform him it had been Luthor’s suggestion.

-Dick hasn’t laughed at all since he came here… maybe we can set more playdates for them?

Timothy’s laughter in her ears, unburdened for the first time since that night, was all the motivation she needed to nod.

-Why take him in, though? -she asked after a few minutes of watching as Dick did a double flip, to Tim’s excitement.

-Dick… what he went through… it was like seeing myself, back then. I couldn’t just leave him alone.

A sigh, and a sip of tea. 

-Bruce. You can’t adopt every single orphan you come across. 

-----.-----

A little over seven years later, Janet downed a glass of champagne in two long sips, watching from the side of the ballroom as Tim approached the newcomers to his birthday party: Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, and his newest ward, Jason Todd.

-When I told him that, I didn’t mean it as a challenge.

-Hum? -asks Nicole, sharp green eyes on her godson, tilting her head a little to hear Janet better.

-Nothing. What are you looking at, that focused?

The woman gave Luthor, who completed their little group (god, reminders of high school much?), a side look. He returned it.

-I’m going to get started into the spa gift card -he said, apropos of nothing, before walking away, whipping out his phone and typing like a madman.

-What was he on about?

-Oh, nothing -mused Nicole, eyes still on Tim (who was, as always with the Waynes, a flustered mess, thanking them -and specially, their latest addition- for coming to his party). She took one of Janet’s hands in both of hers, finally looking away from the child to look at his mother. Nicole’s eyes were full of pity and amusement-. Be strong, Jan.

-What...?

----.-----

-...the fuck?

-Shhh, darling, breath. I told you, didn’t I? Be strong.

-What. Just… no. No. I refuse -he gestured, as graceful and lady like as she could given the circumstances- this. 

They were currently at Wayne Manor, celebrating with the Waynes the fourteenth birthday of the youngest of them. Tim, who had been very cagey and mysterious the last few months, had brought a potted flower. That, apparently, he grew himself, from a seed to the pretty little yellow sprout.

Alstroemeria, a beautiful flower which symbolises enduring friendship. Each of the flower's six petals represents the characteristics of understanding, humour, patience, empathy, commitment and respect.

That was the flower Timothy choose to gift Jason Todd, explaining as he did how he cared for the flower for weeks, telling it stories about Jason and asking it to give him good luck. Something about plants being magical, able to give off special vibes, and how he ‘trained’ it to do the same for Jason. 

It was adorable, and judging from the brat’s furious blush, he agreed. He took the hand-painted pot with utmost care.

It was revolting. She wanted to claw his eyes out, if only to get him to stop looking at her son like that.

Stop him from looking at her son, period.

-Shh -continued to sooth Nicole, quick hand slipping a card into Janet’s purse- There, an all day, full treatment, already paid for spa gift card, from me and Luthor. You’re going to need it. Timmy is eleven after all, hormones are bound to start kicking anytime soon.

She wanted to scream, especially when Richard, apparently tendered after Tim’s heartfelt gift to Jason, picked him up and started to spin him around the ballroom. Her son’s already rosy cheeks went full red.

-Damned Wayne and his godforsaken orphans. I swear to God I’m gonna sue him if he dares adopt another one.

Nicole, on her part, winced a little inwardly. Perhaps this wasn’t the right moment to tell Janet about her sister Talia’s spawn with Wayne.

[fandom-necromancer]

045. This isn’t goodbye

This will be a three-parter, the warnings are there for all parts so you know what you are starting with. The bold parts are in the chapter. Don’t worry, as all my stories this will end good, but there is a bit of bad stuff happening until there will be a good ending in the third part. Just so you are save out there!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900, Hannor/Hancon | AU: Reverse AU (Warnings: android being shipped off to Cyberlife for analysis of deviancy, loss of privacy, loss of control, most think the android is dead, Grieving Character, Trauma because of past mistakes, Canon-typical violence)

[part2]   [part3]   [part4]

‘Remember, if someone gives you an order, follow it. They mustn’t know it!’ ‘Got it, Sir’, Gavin grinned teasingly at Richard. ‘Gonna be your little obedient robot, just as you like it.’ ‘Gavin!’ Richard wasn’t in the mood for the android’s silly jokes. This was serious. ‘Worry for your own ass out there, Nines. You know me, GV-harder-better-faster-stronger-200. We’ll give them hell!’ ‘Just… be careful, tin-can.’ ‘Will be, meatbag!’

They joined the others in position to storm the building. Their suspect was hiding inside this house with a bunch of his “co-workers”. They would put an end to one of Detroit’s largest drug gangs today, catching their leader and unravelling the whole organisation hopefully. They were waiting for the signal from Captain Allen to charge, as this officially was a SWAT operation. Richard was present as a consultant technically, but his past as a soldier made him qualified. Also, with Cyberlife’s most advanced android by his side, he would be worth a lot. Normally Richard wouldn’t worry as much about Gavin, but this time Connor and his android HK400 was in the team, too. Richard generally liked the android for helping his brother get out of that hole the loss of his son had ripped, but that didn’t change that Hank was just there to find deviant androids. And, well, Gavin was one. He had deviated long ago on a mission, when they both were after some fugitive. They had caught him, and he was driven off back to the precinct and Gavin had kissed him. Since then they hid GV’s true identity successfully. But with Hank this close… Who knew how this ended? Hopefully all would go well.

He didn’t have anymore time to think about the other android, as Captain Allen gave the signal and Richard followed his group. They were jogging through foreign rooms, short status reports of ‘room clear’ muttered into their mics, their breaths and the shuffle of feet and clothing all around them. For a surprisingly long time nothing happened. Then a SWAT officer wanted to open a door and Gavin interfered. ‘I detected multiple persons behind this door.’ Immediately everyone raised their guns and prepared themselves. Richard took a deep breath to steady him, the ghost of a hand touching him reassuringly as everyone was too busy to see the gesture. Then they pushed the door in and stormed into the room to leave the bottleneck behind them as soon as possible. Immediately gunfire was thundering through the room and everyone quickly dove for any cover they could find. It spread them out and most order was quickly lost, but they had the upper hand, surprising the gang members and taking down one after the other with mostly non-lethal shots. Unfortunately, they realised that too, quickly running backwards to leave the room. ‘Gavin! Quick, keep them from fleeing!’, came the order from Captain Allen. ‘Hank, Connor, help him!’ Gavin immediately jumped over the crate from where he had sat next to Richard. He ducked under bullets, calculating them even before they left the gun.  He was already pre-constructing how to advance once in reach of their leader, as a warning covered his HUD.

[Danger! Richard]

He stopped in his tracks, reaching into Connor’s holster to retrieve a gun, then aimed and shot. His bullet hit the criminal that had aligned his gun with Richard’s head in the arm and pushed it to the side, so the bullet hit a wall and not his human’s brain. The gang member next to the one he shot, had seen his action and returned it by shooting Gavin in the abdomen, just over his regulator. Gavin fell, quickly accessing the damage. Nothing vital was hit, but he was losing a lot of Thirium. Only then he realised what he had done. He had been ordered to apprehend the leader, something Hank and Connor were still pursuing. He had used a gun, what was strictly forbidden for androids. And as he looked to the side, he met Hank’s analysing glare. Shit.

-

No one had talked about Gavin’s action. After all it had saved one of their own. But Gavin knew that after they had entered the precinct again and Hank went straight to Fowler’s office, he was done for. Richard hadn’t spoken a word, except for a shocked ‘Gavin!’ upon seeing him lying there bleeding and reassuring mumbles of ‘it will all be alright again, I promise.’ Now the man pulled him right to the breakroom where they had stored a few tools to patch up an android. Richard had heaved him on top of the counter to sit there, before pulling him out of his jacket and shirt to access the damage. Then he had gotten the kit and started working away at Gavin’s wound in total silence.

‘Hank knows’, Gavin finally broached the subject. ‘I know’, Richard answered dismissively. ‘Connor knows.’ ‘I know.’ ‘The whole precinct knows!’ ‘I know!’ Richard had gotten louder, near shouting the last bit. Gavin knew it was him being frustrated, worried and maybe even afraid, but he recoiled all the same.

‘What are they gonna do to me?’, he asked then, his voice merely a whisper. ‘I… don’t know…’ ‘Are they sending me back to Cyberlife?’ ‘They won’t’, Richard answered firmly, but both knew this was a lie. ‘They will want to know what’s wrong with me.’ ‘There is nothing wrong with you! This isn’t fair!’ Richard’s hands were shaking, blue blood dripping from them. ‘Nines. I am a robot. I was never meant to be free. I’m thankful for the time we had.’ ‘I won’t let them kill you, Gav! Not over you doing the right thing. Not for you saving my life because I had been an idiot and coincidentally sticking my head out. I won’t let them kill you.’ ‘And wreck yourself, your carrier in the process?’ Gavin cupped his human’s cheeks and pressed their foreheads together. This way he could see Richard’s tears sharp and clear. ‘Nines, promise me you won’t do anything dumb, okay? Cyberlife wants to know how deviancy works and I doubt they will kill their only lab rat. I will try to fool them as best as I can. I played the obedient machine for so long now, maybe it will slow them down. And there is still hope. Markus.’ ‘His protest will be shut down soon, Gavin. It has always been like this.’ ‘Maybe not this time.’ ‘I don’t want to lose you. I love you, Gavin.’ ‘I love you too, meatbag. I’ll see you again. I promise.’

Richard had been called to Fowlers office afterwards. There had been muffled screaming, Fowler jumping from his chair and shouting back, Richard not backing down. Gavin knew this stance. Richard had always been passionate and protective, regardless of his often intimidating looks. Gavin couldn’t watch any longer. He stared at the puddle of blue blood on the carpet beyond his dangling feet. He continued to just sit there, trying not to think and to keep his rising panic in check. He had been reassuring, mostly to keep Richard calm. The man would sacrifice his job, his status, himself for a machine and that just wasn’t right. But Gavin himself was at the verge of breaking, because Richard was right, this wasn’t fair.

Hank passed the breakroom following Connor, who looked quite pissed. Gavin had only seen that expression once and that had been as Hank had met him for the first time. The human was hungover and had promptly pushed the larger and without doubt heavier android against a wall, seconds from throwing punches. Now Hank was talking to him, but Gavin didn’t care enough to listen in. That phcking asshole of a mindless robot, if he could, he would just- ‘He loved him, Hank!’ Gavin pressed his eyes shut. Just shut up! ‘He loved that android. And Gavin loves him too. Rich told me, you fucking toaster! They hid it, they hid it well and all would have been perfect. Who cares if the thing is deviant it isn’t a thread to anyone! All I know is that he saved my brother. I still have a brother because of that android. And thanks to you, he will be sent of to Cyberlife, where they do god knows what to him! Do you know what will happen to Richard once he is gone? Do you have just a sliver of an idea? Didn’t think so!’ ‘I’m not gone yet’, Gavin said, suddenly standing next to them. It was meant for Connor, but Gavin turned to Hank, squaring up, although the android was much, much larger than him. ‘I’m not gone yet’, he repeated, underlining every word with a prodding finger against Hank’s collarbone. ‘Don’t speak of me in past tense, I refuse to die. I will come back from there, no matter the cost. I will come back to Richard, I’ll come back to this shitty phcking precinct and if only to kick your goddamn robot ass into orbit! And that is a phcking promise!’

He stomped away from them, taking position by the door. For his part he was ready to be shipped off. He had been thinking about running, but that would only get Richard into more trouble and, if his theory was right, would be far more dangerous than the alternative. A potential deviant stuck in a lab to test on wasn’t a thread. A proved deviant on the loose on the other hand…

Richard came out of that office some time later, coughing from overusing his voice in such a manner. He spotted Connor and Hank, still talking to each other and took a detour to avoid them. He stopped in front of Gavin and pulled him in a tight, awkward hug. ‘Cyberlife is informed. They are waiting for us. I will drive you.’ ‘Thank you.’

The drive was quiet, no radio, no talking. There were quite sobs from the seat next to Gavin and he ignored them to his best ability, watching the road himself to intercept should Richard be unable to react. He was speeding the whole drive until he was granted access to Belle Isle. Then he slowed down, maybe to stretch it out as long as possible. Until they came to a halt in the parking lot, Cyberlife security staff already waiting at the front door. But they just sat there, nobody ready to say a word or move.

‘This isn’t goodbye’, Gavin finally said. ‘Right? Promise me, this isn’t goodbye.’ He had been strong for too long, he had to voice his fears. ‘No’, Richard said. ‘No, not if I can help it. I will do everything I can to get back to you. To get you out of there.’ ‘Just don’t do anything stupid if you can’t, okay? Stay save. I love you.’ ‘Gavin, I-‘ ‘Nines. Please. I will go. Just if this ends bad, I want my last words to you be I love you.’ ‘I love you too, Gavin.’

And then Gavin opened the door, stepped out and went up the stairs towards the entrance.

[>next part]

[chmpgnpearls]

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 & 𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 !

prompts & tropes list  — send me a request and i’ll write it <3

— this is a detailed list of prompts and tropes that i’ve come up with or found online,, 

— if you wish, send me a request with your preferred prompt/genre/trope (from this list or not!) and i’ll write it,, 

— also feel free to mix and match the prompts you most like, no restrictions!,,

— just a little reminder that i write for nct ot21, i do not write smut but i do write suggestive scenes!  

— also, please don’t request anything sexual or suggestive about chenle or jisung,,

TROPES

cryosleep ;

circus ;

freakshow ;

greek god / demigod ;

witch / warlock ;

Harry Potter au ;

photographer + model (member or reader) ;

stylist + brand ambassador (member or reader) ;

end of the world ;

post apocalypse ;

Avatar the last Airbender au ;

soulmate / twin flame ;

first date ;

rich kids ;

painter + muse ; (member or reader)

exchange student ;

boyscout ;

summer fling ;

royal ;

historical ;

fallen angel ;

guardian angel ;

college boyfriend ;

single parent ;

skater boy ;

stoner ;

best friends ;

enemies to lovers ;

spirit/ghost (member or reader) ;

fairy, siren, elf, vampire, werewolf, shapeshifter, nymph or whatever creature floats your boat ;

friends with benefits ;

FLUFF/CRACK PROMPTS

“Oi, do you have a thing for my best friend?”

“Is that my shirt?”

“Talk later, cuddles now.”

“Could you get that on the top shelf?”

“Fancy seeing you here!” “I literally told you where I was going to be.” 

“You look...breathtaking.”

“Yeah well, you owe me a kiss.”

“Let me walk you home, please?”

“There’s no way that dish is supposed to smell like this.”

“Ohh I get it, you're jealous!”

“Do you trust me?”

“Come here, your hair is a mess.”

“Is this seat taken?”

“If you don’t tell me to stop, I’m going to kiss you.”

“Blanket hoggers don’t get morning kisses, sorry.”

“What the hell?” “Fuck, I guess this is not the bathroom then?”

“You’re so fucking cute.”

“Hello, it’s me again.”

“Whatever happens, I’m by your side, always.”

“Oh I’m never gonna let you live this down!”

“Wait, you actually remember that?”

“Alright, bet!”

“You’re not going anywhere.”

“You smell really good.”

“I’m too sober for this.” “You don’t even drink.” “Maybe I should start.”

“You come here often?” “Well, I work here. So I think I’d have to say yes.”

“If I ever die, I’m gonna haunt you forever.” “What do you mean IF?”

“I didn't get soaking wet through walking to your place for you to say no to pizza. I have beer too. I know you’re sad, so let me in.”

“Let’s drink wine and trash talk our co-workers!”

“I’m the pun-master, you'll miss me when I’m gone.”

“Are you really suggesting to go to a cemetery at night?” “We’re smoking weed, it’s literally like burning sage!”

“This is not stonage, this is past stonage.”

“Do you know what did I even go in there to get?”

“What just happened?” “I swear it wasn't me!” “Well who was it then?” “Your cat... this little shit.”

“I’m going to die. I’m going to die with an absolute idiot!”

“What did I do to deserve you?”

“I guess chivalry is not so dead after all.”

“I’m not kissing you under the rain! You have a death wish or something?”

“God, you're so dense sometimes.”

“I want to wake up next to you every day.”

“Oh my god, we’re matching!”

“Apparently all our friends have a bet going that we end up together.”

“I really want to kiss you right now.” “Do it then.”

“I would’ve had breakfast ready, but you were sleeping on my arm, and I didn’t want to wake you up.”

“Alright, one more dad joke and you're single.”

"Keep smiling at me like that."

“Maybe you should leave the cooking to me.”

“Okay, patron saint of lost causes, suit yourself.”

“You’re lucky you're cute.”

FANTASY/SUPERNATURAL PROMPTS

“Why use doors when you can just walk though walls?”

“Make yourself at home, darling.” “Are you serious? How am I supposed to make myself at home in the middle of hellfire?” 

“Can you show me your fangs/ horns/ ears/ wings/ claws?”

“Who would live all alone in the middle of the woods?” “Well, me and my friends, for starters.”

“Your cat just told me to fuck off.” “Oh, shit, I thought I made myself pretty clear when I said ‘no swearing’.”

“So you can just bat your wings and take off.” “Yup.” “No magic powder or spell?” “That’s Peter Pan, darling.” “Oh...”

“Of course I’m not gonna tell anybody! I wouldn't want my best friend to become a lab rat for some science freak.”

“Sometimes I talk to the moon, she’s my best confidante, you know?”

“What are you gonna do about it? You and your mediocre skills in charms don't scare me.”

“What do you mean you have a pet dragon?”

“You really don’t want to eat that, it’s in a spell jar for a reason.”

“Oh god please don't kill me! I’m too young to die so soon!” “Kill you? No, listen, you accidentally came into possession of something of mine, and I really need it back.”

“So you're telling me this [object] I bought is cursed?” “Yup. Sucks to be you I guess.”

“I could swear I saw that portrait follow me with his eyes.” “Yeah, I know, that’s my brother. He has the bad habit of freaking out pretty people by checking them out.”

"Maybe the dragon is right, maybe you are just a bitter person."

"Just because I am the chosen one doesn't mean I am above killing you."

"Perhaps we should have listened to the orc, those clouds look murderous."

"So, have you always sucked at dueling?"

“How much blood could one vampire possibly drink?”

“If you don’t like my plants, pick some other house to haunt!”

“I’m so sorry. I was trying a new spell and things got out of hand....really out of hand.”

“I know it’s you...but nice try.”

“If it makes you feel any better, you’re my favorite fleshy meatbag.”

“Look, if I wanted to harm you, it would have happened already.”

“Fuck you I don't have legs!”

“Stop screaming, you're scaring my [supernatural pet].” “Oh I’M scaring it?”

“If you don't stop flicking your wrist like that you're gonna poke someone’s eye out! Let me help you.”

“Merlin’s beard! What is it with your wand?” “Oh, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet this morning and now I think it’s mad at me.”

“Again? Ugh, this is your third time summoning me this week, it better be important!”

“Oh, my plants, they love visitors! Haven't you noticed how they're all standing a bit taller, ever since you walked in?”

“Your laugh...it’s cute. I noticed it makes flowers bloom.”

“Please make it stop, the Sorting Hat is tone bloody deaf.” “Do you really wanna say that about a magical hat that can read your mind?”

ANGST PROMPTS

“Did you ever feel the way I did at all?”

“I want you to be happy... even if it’s not with me.”

“You were not there... why weren't you there?”

“Stop being a fucking dick, will you?”

“I’m only important to you when you need something from me.”

“Please... just get out / go away.”

“I haven't really slept since you died.”

“How do we fix this?” “You can’t fix something that doesn't exist anymore.”

“You’re never gonna let this go, aren't you?”

“You don’t remember last night at all, do you?”

“I lost the baby.”

“Forget it, I should’ve never come here in the first place.”

“Maybe you should’ve thought about that when you broke up with me.”

“I don't deserve you.”

“I trusted you.”

“Are you even listening to me?”

“You’re supposed to be yelling at me! And... and hitting me! Why aren't you doing that?”

“I just wanted to help...”

“Get out of my head.”

“How stupid do you think I am?”

“Don’t you dare leave me! Not now.”

“Tell me I’m wrong...please.”

“Why do you keep doing this to yourself?”

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“It’s not that easy.”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“There’s no us, there never was.”

“If you walk out that door, it’s over.”

“I made a mistake, okay? I’m human for fuck’s sake!”

“Hang on. You’re gonna be okay soon, just breathe.”

“I don’t know who you are anymore.”

“There’s no turning back from this.”

“You don’t get to come back after years and look at me like that!”

“You fucking disappeared, when I needed you the most.”

“Just shut up.”

“Wake up! Please wake up.”

“Do I know you?”

“We’re not good for each other anymore.”

“I’ve always been honest with you. You owe me the truth.”

“Do you know what a gunshot wound feels like?”

“Shh, it’s okay. It was just a dream.”

“I wish I could take the pain away.”

“You’ve been crying, I can tell.”

“I fucking love you” “Hang up, and tell me this when you’re sober.”

“You haven't been picking up my calls.” “Yeah, I know. I did it on purpose.”

[wheremytwinwatches]

[Where My Twin Watches]: Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood Episode 19

Last time, Ross lived and was snuck out to Xing, Ed got yet another reason to hate Scar, Barry met himself, and Gluttony paid Riza a visit. Onwards!

Oh dear, all Roy can hear is gunshots from “Elizabeth”’s end. Go, Flame Alchemist! Save your bestie! Never mind, let’s just ignore the fights and go back to Sword Guy utterly disregarding the notion of Confidentiality. He says that Barry says the Colonel’s got a plan to smoke out the Goths from the Fifth Laboratory. This causes Al to head out, searching for Hughes’ murderer. Stop whining Ling, Al will tooootaly tell you when he gets back. Later, Winry! Episode 19 - “Death of the Undying” Uh oh, Gluttony’s got Riza by the neck, and she’s out of ammo. The Goth just chuckles at his multiple headshots, he’s about to eat Riza someone quick dog? Where’d the dog come from. Oh hey, Fuery’s here! Thanks for tossing Riza a new pistol, you’ve almost made up for ruining my Fuhrer Fury joke with this! Two people shooting at once is a bit more effective, but only just. Gluttony’s knocked to the window but his big frame doesn’t fit, and he’s healed up from the bullet holes in a few seconds as Riza and Fuery click their now-empty weapons. Ok, time for the backup of the backup to arrive!

Oh my Leto it is so satisfying to see that Goth go flying out the tower to the caption of [Gluttony screams]. Nice timing, Roy, good hustle! Riza… is not exactly appreciative of the rescue, yells at Roy for leaving his post and blowing his plausible deniability. Fuery just chuckles at them going at it, looking down at the charred body and wondering who the fat guy was. Ok, now get down there and finish the job, Gluttony isn’t finished off just- Whoop, Bio!Barry’s making a break for it, with the homicidal Soul Armor in pursuit. Roy and Riza bark out orders to the minion and mutt respectively. Then slooowly walk down the stairs as Riza thanks Roy for saving their life, Roy’s too focused on the mission to see her smile. Daw. Huh, once again Roy makes better time than I thought, Havoc’s barely run a few paces before he pulls up in a car and tells to loser to get in, they’re going Goth hunting. And then Al shows up! Buckle up buddy, time for a chase through the city. Well at least Barry’s having fun, chasing down the meatbag to do an impromptu funeral. Riza’s reloading and wondering if Blubber Man’s going to stay down, less sure than Roy after her own bullets had next to no effect. Al asks if he had an Uroboros tattoo, when she confirms seeing on his tongue he identifies him as a Homunculus. Hey, watch where you’re driving Roy! Said Colonel isn’t exactly happy to learn that the Goth probably survived the barbecue. Much later, looks like they’ve cornered BioBarry in the Third Laboratory. A direct tie to the military, then? Well, with that connection they can pull back. Uh, Barry? That is the opposite of pulling back. And Roy’s happy about this? Oh I get it, the crazy Soul Armor goes running in, and Roy’s Crew get to follow “in hot pursuit of the crazed murderer”. You other cops, go and secure the perimeter or something. Down into the Basement of Dramatic String Music they go, but then they face the bane of adventuring parties: a split corridor. Oh yeah, split the party, this can only go well. Roy and Havoc are going around, remarking at how dilapidated everything looks- Uh oh. Lust. Havoc, beware the Angry Girlfriend! On a more serious note, oh crap the party is split up in a basement presumably with multiple Goths. Might be time to stage a retreat. Ok ok, another laugh at how Havoc is a fool for honkers, but for real, back to seriousness. Roy asks about Hughes, and when Lust taunts him he goes for a kneeshot. It shows she’s a Homunculus, but it’ll take more than that to- Roy interrupts her monologue with the rest of his clip, it’s about as effective as we can expect but at least it shut her up for a few moments. But the claws come out, and Lust… stabs herself? Oh. Oh dear. That’s a Philosopher’s Stone. So if all the Goths are built around this miraculous tool of Transmutation then they’ll just keep coming back. On the plus side, now we have a clear weakness: destroy the Stone and they lose their regeneration. Quick Roy, shoot the Glowing Weak Spot! Nope, too slow. Now that Lust is finished talking to the Soon-To-Be-Dead-Men, she disarms them… and slices a water pipe, rendering Roy’s Ignition Gloves useless. Well, crap. Both men run screaming for the exit, tumble outside while Havoc asks what they’re gonna do. But Roy’s happy? Oh! He may have lost his signature ability, but he’s still a State Alchemist who can transmute any materials on hand. Say, a bunch of water into hydrogen gas? Thanks for cutting that pipe, lady! Here, have a lighter!

Al and Riza pick up on the Big Boom, but Riza just steels herself and keeps searching for their target. Good trust in your boss, here’s hoping you two don’t end up in the same situation. After the Jean Havoc/Lust narrator cards, Roy and Havoc are searching the now-torched room. A bit of snarking about the busted ex-girlfriend gift how bad cigarettes are, Roy says aw man why did you say that without a body. She’ll be just in the next room and or no she’s in this one under the rubble! Havoc’s been spiked! Oh crap oh crap, Roy’s still weaponless in a room with Lust, this isn’t good. Oh right, Havoc’s gun which good Leto is rather strong, Lust is down an arm. She’s still boasting about how Roy can’t put her down for good… while her Stone is exposed. Yoink! It’s rather effective, and Lust actually crumbles away. A bit anticlimactic, honestly. But now Roy’s got the MacGuffin! Now to heal Havoc, give it to the Elric Brothers, and the show’s over! I wonder what complication is going to come up now. Roy gets ready to cast Heal and GUH OH MY LETO NO NO NO Lust just grew back around the Stone, her half-formed body chided Roy for being so forward, and Spiky Fingers to the chest. And now HE’S here! [Lab Guard Captain]: “Uh-- Uh… Your Excellency!” [Fuhrer Wrath]: “What’s the current status?” This is not backup! This is the opposite of backup! Lust dumps Roy on the ground, oh-so-sad that she’s been forced to kill such a promising sacrificial candidate as she shreds his glove and leaves him to watch Havoc die before he himself bleeds out. Um. Wow. I can hope that with Lust pulling the classic “Leave before you see them die for sure” mistake that they’ll be ok? Please? Havoc? Come on, answer me buddy. While this awfulness is going on, Al and Riza arrive in an incredibly bright white room with a large Alchemy Symbol (the same on we saw in Xerxes?) on the wall, and Barry looking down at the lifeless remains of his old body, commenting on how a soul shoved in another form is so harmful. This of course shocks Al, makes him wonder if he’ll survive as a Soul Armor until they can reform their original bodies. Al… *Sigh* Riza, just put the pistol down, we’re perfectly aware at how effective that is against the Goths. Lust demands to know why Barry is helping out our guys, he basically says it’s for the heck of it and he wants to kill her anyway. The Goth just complains about how she’ll have to kill a second candidate now since Al tagged along, at which point Barry gets tired of waiting and charges and he’s dead now. Whelp. So long, Barry the Butcher. So now that that’s out of the way, Lust prepares to send Riza after her superior. Riza… does not take the news well. [Furious!Riza]: “You biiittch!!” She empties one pistol to mournful music, same with the second, and finishes with a revolver. All to achieve Lust standing back up and patronizingly asking if she’s done. Aw hell no, don’t you fucking dare call Riza weak. Al, pound her face in. Damnit Riza, take this chance and get out of here! Al’s the only one who can at least slow her down with his Transmutation ability and the fact that he’s friggin metal while you’re flesh and blood, get moving! But no, they keep doing the “save yourself, no you save yourself” thing heroes do while Lust stands there annoyed.

How old is Al again? Whatever it is, it’s way too goddamn young for him to be standing his ground against this murderer, screaming about how [Al]: “I’m sick of watching people die! And I can’t just sit back and take it anymore!” -to a montage of all those touched by death in this show, including that time someone got stabbed while inside him. Friggen Leto, this show. [wait, WHAT?!]: “Well spoken… I couldn’t agree more.” Al IMMEDIATELY earthbends up a shield to protect him and Riza as the room gets filled with ALL OF THE FIRE, it clears to see charred Lust looking oh-so-satisfyingly shocked as The Badass Roy grits out that he got her on her knees, after all. Then the camera pans to oh my Leto I did not expect to see The Badass Roy’s chiseled abs today but I am happy that I did, as he stands there in all his determined glory clutching his stab wounds with one hand and holding the not-so-broken lighter in the other. Or still broken, but The Badass Roy didn’t let that stop him as he just uses the flint to get a spark and a TC carved into his own hand. Cue EVEN MORE FIRE as Lust whines about how he should have bled out by now, but of course The Flame Alchemist seared the wound closed, admits that he aaaaalmost passed out from the pain before MORE FIRE. Now, about that claim that he couldn’t kill you? Let’s see how many FIREs it takes to get to the center of a Gothie-pop, huh?! Again! And again! AND AGAIN! AND AGAIN! BURN, YOU BITCH! No no fuck no you don’t get to suddenly be patched up and charging towards The Badass Roy no no no [The Bitch]: “You killed me.” YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS Lust is crumbling to ashes now as The Badass Roy’s attacks have seemed to finally have damaged her Stone. But she wouldn’t be a Goth if she didn’t go out with a disparaging monologue, pleased that she at least was killed by a man with such cold and focused eyes, looking forward to the day those eyes are wide with agony. [Lust]: “It’s coming... It’s coming…” The Philosopher's Stone falls, and crumbles away. Finally, Roy falls, the effort of his attack and his injuries overcoming him. Riza and Al brush off his thanks and prepare to get a medic aw HELL no I’d forgotten about Bradley, he’s just outside the room- but he just sheathed his sword and walked away. Bwuh? You’re letting them live? What’s your game, Wrath? Ok whatever, the Fuhrer is being mysterious, what else is new, just get Roy and Havoc some help right now! Oh yeah, Winry’s been left at the hotel all day. She’s telling herself over and over that Al’s alright. And here he is! A bit worse for wear, but nothing a little bit of TLT (Tender Loving Transmutation) won’t fix! And he can even do it himself, so no worries Winry! [Winry]: “Moron! Welcome back!” [Al]: “Uh, okay… thanks!” Aw, laugh it out you two. And maybe get some glue for Al’s arm. Wait, Barry’s still alive?! Oh, Lust missed his sigil with her attack, so he’s down to just that little piece of sheet metal. But he’ll be back- wait, BioBarry’s still alive?! How in Leto’s name did he survive all of the FIRE? Well whatever, we get a part-funny, part-bittersweet moment as dumb old BioBarry paws at Barry’s sigil, wiping it away and sending The Butcher off for good. Sayanora, you homicidal maniac. Thanks for your help in the end. Oh hey, Al! How you doing, Protagonist? The Mighty Armstrong and Breda are seeing him off at the train station, is he finally going back to Central to rejoin the Blonde Kids? Well, at least Al will have one heck of a story for him. Never mind, looks like a detour to the graveyard… where there’s someone there? In a brown coat with blond hair… no, it can’t be… It’s him. The man we’ve only seen in flashbacks and the intro. The man who’s forever covered up in pictures. It’s Papa Elric. It’s Hohenheim. … And THAT’S WHERE WE END THE EPISODE?! WHAT THE-

[thanagariansnarebeast]

Top 15 favorite video games: part 2.

7. Bioshock

I remember first reading about this game in the pages of Game Informer and being fascinated by the story and the environment of what was described. I had no idea how good it was until I launched up the game and finally took that first decent into Rapture. The claustrophobic environment, visual aesthetic of a dilapidated dystopia and the enemies being remnants of once good people were all an amazing experience. The story and characters were amazing, and the idea of an underwater city built to try and be free of any ideology or morality was fascinating, and finding out exactly how the city fell apart and collapsed under its own “greatness” was a very unique experience.

6. God of War (PS2)

This game was a birthday present when I was 15 and I loved it, I love Greek mythology and I love action games, so this was an amazing gift. The opening of the game is one of the best I’ve ever played, and the boss fights are some of my all time favorites. The music in this game is incredible, and I love the accurate representation of the Greek gods being complete fucking assholes and ruining lives because they just don’t care. Kratos is a great anti-hero (or villain, ether one is fair) and the Blades of Chaos are a really unique video game weapon. The sequels are amazing but this one holds a special place in my heart.

5.   Devil May Cry 3

Another birthday present, this one from the year before, this game was a very interesting experience for me; I’d never seen such a difficult game, or one so anime inspired. This game oozes goofy, over the top fun and demon slaying is always fun. The combos and weapons in the game are fantastic, and the story might be a big generic; but the game never takes itself seriously enough for that to be an issue. The characters in the game are great and Dante and Virgil being brothers who are enemies is a fun dynamic. This game also has some fantastic boss fights they really make you have to master your timings and attacks.

4. Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic

I fucking love Star Wars, I fucking love RPGs, and I fucking love good stories and characters; and this game has all of that. The story of this game is one of my favorites in anything, not just video games but all media, and the Revan twist is something that I didn’t see coming and really blew me away the first time I played this game. I’ve probably played through the story 7 or so times and I still love it, Bioware is at its best here and the character interactions and your decisions effecting everything in the game and you being able to ruin entire planets with your decisions really makes you feel like what you are doing is important to the galaxy. HK 47 calling everyone a “meatbag” is endlessly hilarious, and might be the first sassy Star Wars robot. I was at a con recently and got an autograph of Jennifer Hale (Bastila Shan) and its something very special to me in large part because of this game.

3. Mortal Kombat (2009)

Mortal Kombat 9 was such an amazing experience when it first came out. The past 5 Mortal Kombat games had been 3D, and had really suffered in quality because of it. The stories and characters had become terrible and the franchise was dying. Then came Mortal Kombat 9, or just Mortal Kombat as its actually called. The first 2D game in the franchise since the good old days of UMK3 and Mortal Kombat Trilogy, it was a reboot of the franchise that still used everything that had come before to set up the story. Knowing the old games was a benefit to the twists and turns of the story and altered timeline, but not essential to it. This was also the re-invigoration of the tournament scene for the MK games, which was a very welcome return. The roster of this game is damn near perfect, with the dlc adding an old favorite, the only good character from Deadly Alliance, Freddy motherfucking Kreuger, a new character that was a lot of fun, and I had the PS3 version so I also had Kratos which was awesome. Everything in this game represented a return to form and a new beginning for a franchise that desperately needed it. Mortal Kombat X and 11 have both been fantastic as well, but I chose 9 because of not just it being a fantastic game, but what it did for the series.

2. Dark Souls

I love dark fantasy and I love armor and weapons in video games, and this game has that as well as fantastic combat, and some amazing gothic horror as well. The bosses in this game are some of the best in any game and the game may be punishingly difficult, but the feeling of accomplishment when you finally get over some massive hurdle you were stuck on or finally slay a powerful boss that had been using your body as a punching bag is so incredibly satisfying. The sad state of the world in this game is also refreshing, instead of being some amazing savior sent to kill the big bad fucking up the world; your goal is ether to prolong the dying world for a little while longer, or end it and start something new. Killing gods that have been corrupted and used to be heroic adds a tragic twist to fighting bosses and makes killing them bitter sweet. I absolutely adore how you can make different characters and create builds around certain spells and weapons and I really wish more games would incorporate systems like that, even if they aren’t exactly balanced in any Dark Souls game. I also love how when you get past the opening area you can pretty much go where ever you want, the level design is almost perfect, with every location being somewhat connected to the next, often times looping in on each other.

2. (tie) Dragon Age: Origins

The second Bioware game on this list, it has all the roleplaying and great character writing of KotOR and more, a deep universe that they created; this game was in development for a long time to create a rich lore and new twist on fantasy tropes. The world really feels fleshed out and the characters feel like real people, with issues and hang ups and oddities that make them not just archetypes like most games have. Making decisions that effect characters and your companions can often be tough because you really care about what happens to them and how they feel, and how the world sees you. The gameplay isn’t perfect, its an odd mix of turn based and real time, but it still works pretty well. I put Dark Souls and Dragon Age in the same spot because I love them both for the same yet opposite reasons, if someone could take the roleplaying and world building of Dragon Age and combine it with the stats and combat and boss fights of Dark Souls it would create the perfect game for me.

1. The Elder Scrolls 4: Oblivion

I absolutely loved playing this game when it first came out, and I really wish I could get it to work on my PC so I could relive the glory that is this game. Skyrim is probably the more obvious pick for most people, but Oblivion was my first Elder Scrolls and first Bethesda game; and Oblivion has better rpg mechanics and a better story in my humble opinion. I love the Dark Brotherhood questline in this game more than any other questline in any game ever, its so fucking good. The game looks like shit graphically now, but back when it came out it was gorgeous, and I remember the first time I played it on an HD tv I was blown away. The rich world and the big name actors being in it was a real treat, and having Sir Patrick Stewart play the king really gave that character the gravitas and importance that was needed to establish a character quickly. Sean Bean being his son was also fantastic, and brings this list pretty much full circle because of him being in Goldeneye. The armor and weapon designs are really good for the most part, and I love collecting all the Daedric artifacts and creating havoc with them. I still get excited when I hear the music from this game, and its orchestral quality really adds to the epic feeling of the game. There’s no one stealing sweet rolls or arrows to the knee in this one ether.

There are a lot of other games that I love and that were hard to leave off this list, but its pretty long as it is; and I’m sure eventually new games will take the place of some of these.

[sorry-apsalar]

Frender Drabbles: Fake Dating

“Good news everyone,” the Professor said as he came into the meeting room, “we got a package to deliver. However, the client lives in a weird love temple, only romantic couples and polycules are allowed on the grounds. So who’s up for some fake dating?”

“Ooh, me!” Fry raised his hand high, half standing from his chair. “Me and Leela!” Fake dating often turned into real dating, didn’t it? So this was his chance.

“Absolutely not.” Her tone was flat and indifferent as if she didn’t care enough to even be annoyed. Which, honestly was fair, still stung though.

Fry deflated, sinking back into his seat with a sigh. He shouldn’t have brought it up, huh? That was the only possible answer he could’ve gotten so he shouldn’t have…

“I’ll go with you,” Bender said. “A ‘love temple’ sounds like the kind of place that’d have some pretty interesting holy relics.” His lewd chuckle gave away just what kind of thing he had in mind. Which, now that Fry thought about it, probably so.

But… pretending to be a couple with him would be weird. They were best friends though and thus should be able to fake it convincingly and someone had to do it, right? So… “Uh… all right.”

~

The ‘love temple’ wasn’t like any temple or other place of worship Fry had ever seen before. It was more like a large walled in garden with a fancy gate. Inside was a maze of walkways paved with stones of various colours that glittered slightly in the sunlight. To either side of the paths were manicured walls of plants and flowers of various shapes, sizes, and colours, most of which Fry had also never seen before. They were pretty though and filled the air with a pleasant fragrance. Overall it had a very romantic feel even for someone like him who didn’t normally take much notice of that kind of thing.

Combined with the way his arm was linked with Bender’s as they made their way down the path, following their large horned and clawed guide – which would never not be strange because who would’ve thought an alien species that looked like they could be demons would have a god dedicated to romantic love – made him feel kind of weird. Not a bad kind of weird though just… strange. Perhaps it was even kind of nice.

Unsurprisingly it was Bender who eventually broke the silence. “Is this really all there is? Just plants and flowers.”

“Yes. What were you expecting?” The guide’s voice was gravelly and deep.

“I don’t know, something more interesting than plants.”

“Flowers are nice too though,” Fry chimed in because he actually kind of liked it. It probably wasn’t the kind of place he’d want to spend a lot of time or anything but for an afternoon stroll it was pleasant. “But uh… what happens if someone who isn’t in a romantic relationship steps foot on the grounds?” How much trouble would they be in if their lie was discovered?

“Not much.” They then made a sound that was clearly a word in their native language but brought to mind demons again. “… would be disappointed with you though and would curse you.”

That would’ve been worrying if Fry believed in any deities but thankfully he’d given that up even before getting cryogenically frozen.

“Speaking of curses,” the guide continued after a short pause, “I had heard biologicals dating robots was illegal on Earth.”

Oh! This was the first Fry was hearing about that. Before he could ask about it though…

“Yeah, yeah but the robo-phobes can bite my shiny metal ass. I do who and what I want.”

The guide chuckled. “Well, I wish you and Fry a long life and happiness together. Hopefully your archaic laws will catch up to the modern day soon.”

“Uh… I hope so too.” This may have been Fry’s first time hearing of this law but it was stupid and didn’t make sense. If he wanted to date a robot, be it Bender or anyone else, he can and should be able to and fuck anyone who tried to tell him otherwise.

There wasn’t time for any further conversation after that as they soon reached their destination; the center of the maze where the demon looking alien who ran the place was waiting for their package. It was a quick and easy delivery ending with more well wishes before Fry and Bender were sent on their way.

They didn’t leave for the ship yet though. Bender wanted to stay to “find where they stashed their loot” and Fry didn’t mind hanging around and wasting time before heading home where someone would most likely try to get them to do more work. To do so though they had to continue to pretend to be dating and specifically on a date because this was a popular place to go for a date apparently. Which meant hand holding and that was whole different thing than just walking with arms linked, still not bad though.

Strangest of all though was how everyone else they came across, mostly couples here for worship and/or a date, viewed the two of them as a couple. And apparently many of them knew about the robots not being allowed to date biological law – apparently despite living on Earth, Fry was the only one who somehow hadn’t known – and all of them had something positive to say about Fry and Bender going against that “barbaric law”. Which made Fry feel bad because they weren’t actuallydating. It also made him start to feel a little weird after a while too, though he couldn’t place why exactly. So with no other way he could respond, he always just smiled and thanked them.

Eventually after a couple hours had passed and they’d walked through the whole temple garden maze Bender decided to call his search for stuff to steal quits. “Seriously what kind of holy place doesn’t have anything worth stealing?” he said, letting go of Fry’s hand as they exited the temple grounds, staring back towards where they’d parked the ship.

Fry’s hand suddenly felt empty, leaving him unsure what to do with it for a second or two before stuffing it into his jacket pocket. “Yeah, I guess it is kind of weird, huh? Temples normally have like golden stuff and offerings, right? But uh… the whole ‘god of romance’ thing is pretty strange by itself so I guess that makes sense. … You think we’ll have to deliver another package here later?” There was a handful of places they made semi-regular deliveries to, most of them, alas, weren’t pleasant places.

Beneath the ship now, Bender paused to turn and look at him. “Why? Do you want to?”

“I uh… well, it was kind of nice, don’t you think?”

“No. It was nothing but plants, the stupidest of all the living things. Which is saying something since you humans are known for your stupidity.” He turned away, pressing the button on the ship’s key fob to make the stairs descend.

Wordlessly, Fry followed him up, closing them behind himself. It wasn’t the plants he’d thought nice but the walking arm-in-arm and the handholding and everyone wishing them well in their non-existent romantic relationship. It had been weird but if given a chance he’d be willing to do it again. …

Oh! What was that thought he’d had about fake dating often turning into real dating again? But that wasn’t really happening here just… now that he thought about it, he wouldn’t mind if it did. And… and… ugh.

“You coming meatbag or are you going to just stand there staring at the wall until we get back to Earth?”

Fry jumped a little before turning to face Bender. Shaking it off, jerked back into motion, following Bender towards the cockpit. “Uh… sorry I was just thinking about stuff.” And he had a lot more thinking to do about it because it was Bender. What were the chances he felt the same? Probably low, right? He didn’t like humans and all that. But maybe Fry should ask anyway. Would it make things awkward if he brought it up? Nah, surely they were good enough friends that’d it be fine even if Bender didn’t feel the same, right? So he should definitely ask and see what happened.

As they reached the cockpit, Bender took the pilots seat as usual. Before starting it up though… “You maybe want to go on a real date sometime?”

Fry froze, his hand on the back on his own chair. “Wait, really?” So soon after he’d decided he should ask such a thing himself?

“Yes, really. I don’t care though, you can…”

“Of course!” Fry interrupted. “I was actually just thinking about asking you out on a real date.”

“Oh. … Well, let’s go then.”

“Where?”

“I don’t know. Anywhere is better than that stupid love temple.”

[littlemonstersau-blog]

The Feels Awaken, Interlude: Attack of the Clonesuit

Written by @jkl-fff, illustrated by me

PART I  - PART II [Interlude] (you are here) - PART III

————————————————————————————–

Ford, leafing listlessly through notes: … Suppose I could go out and look more into this anomaly … or that one, any of them, really —anything’d be better than just sitting here … moping. Yes, moping, that’s really what I’m doing right now. All that I’m doing right now. Moping … [sighs heavily, stands up and paces around room aimlessly; roving eyes land on a shelf of scientific glassware with several empty decanters among them; swallows drily] Damn, a drink would really hit the spot right about now … Gah, no! How pathetic can I be, wanting a drink now, after decades of sobriety! Still wanting a drink at all, just because … just because I’m missing the kids … Damn it, man, pull yourself together! [takes off glasses with one hand, slaps self with other] Are you a scientist or a sentimentalist?! [slaps self again] Focus on your intellect! [slaps self a third time] They’ll be back here soon enough to visit for Fall Break, you can look forward to that, so stop all this … this sniveling! [resumes pacing] … Gah, that Demon’ll probably sour their visit for me, too. Just like he’s soured everything else in my life of late … Besides, he’s already had too much influence over them as is, and them coming back risks him gaining even more of one; would be far, far better if they never came within 100 miles of him ever again … I can … I can go to them, anyway. Stan and I. We can go down to Piedmont and see them safely that way, or … or I can call or use that skyelp program just about any evening … Yes … Yes … So no more of this sniveling and moping and such …

Bill, through the elevator intercom: Hey, Stanford?! I’m coming down now, so … uh, put away the crossbow and the dirty magazines! Haha … ha … um, yeah …Th-that was just a joke, by the way! Except for the part about the crossbow, obviously, ‘cause I would appreciate it if you put that away instead of putting a bolt in this vessel! So, um … yeah, here I come! (79 Hells, that was awkward …)

Ford, muttering and jumping back to desk: Grrr! Now?! Pigcrap fucksnorkel, this is the last thing I need right now! [sits in an exaggeratedly nonchalant pose; turns and glares as Bill steps out of the elevator] What is it, Cipher, can’t you see I’m very busy?

Bill, holding up two cans of Pitt: Thought you might, I dunno, like something cold to drink? [sets one can down on the desk]

Ford: … Why are you wearing a sock puppet?

Bill, shrugging: I could ask you the same thing.

Ford: No, you couldn’t.

Bill: Sure, I could. It wouldn’t make sense, but I could. [cracks open own drink, takes a sip] So, um, how you doin’?

Ford: You still haven’t answered my question.

Bill, shielding his mouth with non-puppet hand, whispering: He just showed up on his own, and I can’t get him to leave no matter how many hints I drop.

Ford, turning away: A feeling I relate to on a deep, spiritual level. [pretends to resume reviewing notes]

Bill: Now you still haven’t answered my question. How you doin’?

Ford: … Tired. And getting more and more tired with every second I spend in your company. So I repeat, what is it? What do you want?

Bill, sighing, leaning against the desk: I just … wanna talk is all, I guess? It gets kinda lonely, y’know, without the Twins here. And I do know y’know about that.

Ford, hiding embarrassment: What are you implying?

Bill: C’mon, Ford. We all miss them. And, I dunno, that’s got me all sentimental about … [takes a deep breath, looks at Ford, lets himself be vulnerable] about other people I miss spending time with, too.

Ford, looking away: Yes, well, if you burn a bridge, you can’t really complain about not being able to cross back over again, can you?

Bill, through sock puppet: Bridges can be rebuilt, can’t they?

Ford: …

Bill, through sock puppet: Can’t they?

Ford: … Not some bridges. Now leave me alone, please, because I have a lot of work to do.

Bill, stiffening up: Fine, if that’s what you want. Sit down here and brood in the dark, ignoring all the people who’re concerned about your health and happiness.

Ford: Pff, right! Sure, you are.

Bill: I am, though! I’m concerned about your health! So are Stan, Soos and Melody, and the Twins would be, too, if they could see you like this—Mabel and Dipper!

Ford: I’m fine, Cipher. You don’t know what you’re talking about.

Bill: Me and Stan’re especially concerned about you, I think. Prob’ly ‘cause we know you the best.

Ford, reddening: I asked you nicely to leave me alone once already. I won’t ask nicely again.

Bill, through sock puppet while stomping towards exit: I guess you would know about burning bridges, right? I mean, you’ve been slowburning a bunch of ‘em lately, haven’t you?

Ford, raising his voice: What’s that supposed to mean?

Bill, through sock puppet: How many years d’you spend missing your brother so much it ached, huh? I mean, you had me play him in your fantasies hundreds of times—literally. 872 times with him as a major character by my count over the years we spent together! [whirls around at the elevator door and points, which looks especially accusing and grotesque coming through a hand puppet] Yet, even though he’s back, you won’t even enjoy your time with him just ‘cause I’m around!? Just ‘cause he doesn’t spit and hiss at the sight of me like a Vampire at sunlight?! You murmur and grumble and carry on and act … act mean and bitter at him for that?! Well, Fordsy, if that ain’t slowburning a bridge, I don’t know what is!

Ford, stung: Y-you … Shut up, Cipher.

Bill, pointing petulantly at the sock: It’s not me. It’s him. [speaking through the sock again] And you’re doing it to everyone else! Including the Twins!

Ford, on his feet: Get. Out. Now.

Bill, whirling on his heel: We’re already gone! [storms back into the elevator and upstairs with it]

Ford, covering face to contain fury: That little, monocular— No, Stanford. D-don’t let him get to you … fffff … Don’t let … that smart-talking shitass—No, d-don’t … fffff … don’t … [eyes land on decanters again; desire for a drink spikes, which makes fury explode inside of him] Graaaaargh! [stomps over, seizes first decanter, hurls it at wall; it shatters] That greasepainted, crap-piling, illuminati fuck hat and [hurls second decanter at wall; it shatters] cyclopes poseur in a mustache-twirled, pan-licking ass wad [hurls third decanter at wall; it shatters] of a grephew’s face-stealing TURD BREATH! [stands huffing and puffing for a moment; leans against wall, slides down until sitting on floor, buries face in hands]

Ford, eventually beginning to calm down: Says he’s “concerned about my health and happiness”—pah!—right … Heard that one before, haven’t I?

[remembers from more than 30 years ago …

Bill, inside Ford’s mind: Uh, you sure this is a good idea?

Ford, scaling an improvised novi-wave receiver: Sure! *cough* Why do you ask?

Bill: Let’s just say I’m concerned for your health and wellbeing.

Ford, shifting a bag of materials, climbing higher: Huh. What for? I’m not *cough cough* sick at all.

Bill: Only ‘cause of the major storm—strong winds, pounding rain, and constant lightning—raging around you while you climb up a structure made of conductive metals that doesn’t have a lot of really solid hand and footholds for your gravity-bound meatbag.

Ford, laughing: Oh, that! Don’t worry, this’ll only take another *cough cough* minute or two.

[lightning cracks nearby]

Ford, still laughing: Whoa! Haha! That one was close! [foot slips on wet metal; catches self] Whoops! Heh, clumsy me … Better hurry up! *cough*

Bill, obviously worried: Y’know what? I think you should just leave it for now. Wait until the storm clears, do something about that wet cough like … like have some ginger tea!

Ford: The forecast said it’s *cough* to continue all week. If I *cough* don’t fix this now, we’ll lose all that work time.

Bill: Yeah, but if you fall and break one of your fleshsticks, we’ll lose even more time. Assuming a fall doesn’t, y’know, do worse. Like kill you. Also, you getting pneumonia is a thing that could cause us to lose even more time.

Ford, dismissively: It’s fine. I’ll be fine. *cough*

Bill, almost desperately: Hey, know what? Not being able to work the rest of this week might be an okay thing! Like, you could take a break. Relax a little, get several full nights’ sleep. Eat a few square meals at regular times with all that nutrient stuff you meatbags need, stave off scurvy and other illnesses you could catch as a result of skipping meals and sleep. Doesn’t that sound like fun? We could even have extra play sessions in your mindscape! Eh? Eh?!

Ford, tempted: You’re a *cough cough* good friend, Bill, but I need to concentrate on this right now.

comes out of his memory …]

Ford, sitting in the lab: Heh … I did fall in the end. Didn’t break anything, just got the wind knocked out of me and was bruised for a bit, but still … Was that when Cipher first recommended I get an assistant? Someone who’d help me build his infernal portal? [sighs, admits] No, I thought an assistant could help me build the portal. Cipher said I needed one to stop me “dying like an idiot during monster hunts” and make me “perform basic self-care for meatbags” from day to day. I was the one who thought it could be someone to help with the portal. [face turning red with shame] I … It was me who made the Electron Carpet to try to switch him— Fiddleford, someone I dared call a f-friend—with Cipher … That was entirely me … When I suggested we use it for that, he actually told me it was a terrible idea—told me Fiddleford was there to help keep my “moments of near suicidal dumbassery in check” and ease my workload, not increase both of them … [chuckles incredulously] That was the first time Cipher and I ever had an argument … He said he was worried about me, and the thing I invented the most was new ways to make him worry …

[remembers the argument, which ended with both of them screaming “FUCK YOU!” at each other in different voices until it stopped being angry and started being hilarious …

remembers flashes from times he and Bill worked together, succeeded together, advanced SCIENCE! together …

remembers flashes from times he and Bill laughed together, played together, bonded together, had so much fun together …

remembers flashes from times he and Bill spent inside Ford’s mindscape, and how good it felt to relive his memories of better times, to play out all his wild fantasies …]

Ford, resting head against wall, gazing at dark ceiling: Cipher’s not … not the only one who misses spending time with … other people … who misses the old days … And—Moses!— I’m so, so tired from always being on guard … from always reminding myself what he really is … what he’s done, what he could do if he got the chance … So tired from always keeping myself angry and bitter … from always stoking this animosity … So tired from always pitting myself against him … Well, against everyone else, too … [heaves self upright and dusts off coat; rubs temples; sighs heavily] Could I be entirely wrong about Bill? Is it really possible he has changed, and I’m just being a stubborn, old fool? Am I making everyone else … Am I making myself unhappy for no real reason? [sighs heavily again] Not the first time I’ve asked that question, and the answer’s the same as always. I can’t afford to take that chance—this whole dimension can’t afford for me to take that chance. And it’s selfish of me to even consider it, given the stakes … What’re my desires and my health and my personal happiness against the safety of this whole dimension for the rest of eternity? And … what’s the happiness of my family, even? [shakes head woefully] I want to believe Bill, but he has conned me before … Besides, he’s immortal; he can afford to play a long game, just wait until I die or waver … That’s why I can’t give in. I just can’t … ever …

[sound from overhead like heavy objects being rearranged]

Ford, flopping into chair at desk: Fffffuck, I wish … I wish there was a solution to this dilemma … a way to untie this Gordian Knot … More than anything in the world … [picks up Pitt, cracks it open, takes a swig; eventually looks at pile of shattered decanters] That’s going to be a bitch to clean up …

Stan, through the basement intercom: Poindexter, you down here? I’m comin’ down, so get out the crossbow and the dirty magazines! [takes elevator down to the lab, notices pile of broken glass and Ford’s drained expression] Yeesh, what happened here? You try playin’ jenga with champagne flutes, or something?

Ford, sighing: … Had a … a temper tantrum, guess you’d say. Threw all the old decanters against the wall because they reminded me how badly I want a drink sometimes.

Stan: Well, darn. We could’ve sold those; some of ‘em were really nice crystal … But, more importantly, you feelin’ better?

Ford, taking a reflective sip of Pitt: … Not really, no. I loathe how much, even now, even still, sometimes I want a drink more than anything in the world … Makes me feel like … like …

Stan, walking up to rub his shoulders: Yeah?

Ford: Like nothing’s changed—maybe more like I haven’t changed— not really, even after everything … Mmm, that feels good, Stanly …

Stan: I can understand the feelin’, Sixer … Some days … Well, some days are just bad days. Some days, all the crap from the past tumbles outta the closet in your head, and there’s nothin’ much you can do about it. [leans down, lightly kisses top of his brother’s head] But there’s also nothin’ wrong with takin’ some time off from all the crap, either, on those days.

Ford: Yeah?

Stan: Yeah. I been thinkin’ we could use some time off. All of us. Chance to disconnect and decompress from day-to-day life, y’know. We should do a movie day—just spend the rest of today together watchin’ some far out flicks, not worryin’ ‘bout anything in particular. Whaddya say, Sixer?

Ford, wavering: All of us, you said? Well … [sighs] Yeah, sure, okay. Why the heck not? What’re we watching?

[mrneighbourlove]

Negotiations in a Fiery Alliance: Ch 7. Don’t feed the Flower Oil

Kahli and Zizi were having a wonderful time exploring the cities greenhouses, massive mansions of glass unlike anything Hryule had. Great mechanical machines working in tangent to help grow nature. "This is beautiful."

Zizi was listening to the plants. It was odd to hear the leaves almost harmonize with the machines, but loved to take note of their whispers. Every plant here was part of a massive interwoven chain almost, every piece of greenery sharing with its neighbor. She ran her hands across a few flower petals, watching how the blooms responded to her touch.

"It is... but I still think our little treehouse beats it, don't you think?" Zizi kissed Kahli's cheek.

"I'd agree. More cozy." Kahli snuggled his nose with hers when he suddenly groaned. He tried his best to keep his wife's attention away, but he knew for a fact that she'd hear the clanks. T0-D was viewing the machinery and the plants, scanning the area for documentation.

Zizi was just about to suggest looking from plants from the Kikai Empire, but nothing could stop the plants from alerting her to the 'walking gears' nearby.

"... are you fucking kidding me?" The Zemlja growled under her breath. "Is he following us?"

Kahli gulped, feeling the rage radiating off his wife. "I do not know..."

T0-D turned to them and waved from afar. "Greetings: Kahli. Wonderful news. The people of Danjur have plants that have been previously thought extinct from the original homeland."

"That's wonderful news." Zizi said through gritted teeth, then tugged on Kahli's arm lightly. "Let's go to a different section."

"I want to see these closer." Kahli went closer to the Android, pulling his wife with him. The plants included some insect eaters, as well as beautiful red spiraled flowers.

"Observation: These red spiraled plants, the Colalilelalo, were symbols of happiness, associated with the Waku tribes."

Kahli was starting to take real interest now. "Really?"

"Statement: When they are about to die, burning them causes the most pleasant smell, according to others."

Kahli asked her to be civil to the robot and she would attempt to do so. Though, that did not mean she had to like him. Zizi personally wanted to bury him so far in the ground, that he could never dig himself out of it. As T0-D explained some of the facts about the native plants of the Kikai Empire, Zizi carefully ran her fingers through the greenery. It was full of life, though she could feel the traces of its true home. The blood red flowers almost looked like fire dancing.

"What are these purple ones?"

"Answer: Those are Aztela. Carnivorous plants that feed both on sunlight, water, and flesh. A personal favourite of mine. They feed mostly on flies and other insects, but they have the biting force of a crocodile. Foolish explorers have lost fingers, and even a hand from sticking them inside the mouths of these joyful little bundles."

Ziz thought the Aztela sounded similar to Ve'nusa, the Jawstalk Mantrap, a carnivorous plant which could swallow a grown man whole. However, the Jawstalk Mantrap was much larger than these flowers and usually burrowed in the ground, laying flat, waiting on their prey to walk over the perfectly laid trap. Ve'nusa also had vines connected to the stalk, instead of just multiple leaves.

"These are beautiful."

"Statement: Yes. They are. It fills my cores with nostalgia to see them again. Oh Zannah will be so happy to know that their are living samples to be transferred and regrown on the new homeland."

Zizi still said nothing and just listened. It would be difficult to keep these plants alive over such a long journey. The transportation would have to be extremely careful. The seeds, however, would be much easier to take back to the Kikai Empire and plant instead of trying to move the entire flower.

"Observation: It's fascinating how the people of Danjur have fused their technology to feed the plants in this greenhouse in a symbiotic relationship. These plants could not live with out them, and the machinery would have no purpose without the plants. All so that beings like you and I can enjoy the smaller lifeforms before us."

The plantations in Hyrule did not require machinery due to the magic of the Zemlja tribe. Windmills were as close as machinery came to grind grain. Still, it got Zizi to thinking... were machines going to replace magic? The thought unnerved her.

"Query: Zizi Slatki. Don't you think it's wonderful that this machinery keeps these little flowers alive?"

"Yes and no." Zizi answered as the robot continued his scanning. "Without the machine, the plants would die and without the plants, the machine would not be needed. Plants have always thrived on their own, without the interference of machines or magic. I use my magic to help the plants grow faster and larger to feed my people, but regardless of my magic, the plants would still survive."

"Statement: And the machinery would be used to power something else. I suppose each could find its life else wear if needed."

"Perhaps, though it feels unusual to me." Zizi was not trying to fight, just speaking how she felt. "Lorleidians do not need machines like this to care for our plants. We have always had magic. Then again, Danjur has some magic, but not much, so there is a need."

"Statement: It would seem that machines hold just as much value as magic when it comes to taking care of fragile life."

"Magic is a living force that flows through everything, a machine..." Zizi trailed off, not liking where this conversation was going. "Can serve a purpose, for sure, yet... you still unnerve me, T0-D. I can't read you. I can't sense any emotion from you."

"Counter: Well you humans are unpredictable as much as you are predictable. That unnerves ME. I express how I feel. And I think, just like you do. I mean, I call you meatbags, but at least you have intelligence that puts you above cattle."

Zizi glared at T0-D for that statement.

"You are a robot, you don't have a soul." The Zemlja was starting to get angry. "You simply follow orders, that's what you were made for, besides making any being you don't care for feel inferior or helpless."

"Zizi..." Kahli warned. T0-D's eye turned red on her.

"Statement: And how do you know YOU have a soul Zizi Slatki?"

"Because I have a conscience, and I don't go around hurting people!" Zizi snapped at T0-D. "You hurt me! You hurt Kahli! You could have hurt my unborn child when you kidnapped me, injecting me with those drugs! You have no sense of morality! You're just a thing!!! Why do you think I don't want you around me? Around my husband or children?! You hurt us once and you probably will do it again if your Empress orders you to do so! So stay the hell away from me and my family!!!"

"Counter: You're own husband was brutally tortured by the man you call a brother in law. Oh I'm sorry, correction. He allowed for his torture by a psychopathic prince. Wither I have a conscience or not is up for debate, I believe I do, but I've never taken the sickening joy in the torture of targets. What I gave you was completely humane, and dear Kahli received a simple punch to the stomach. When I kill, I make it swift, as one would do when putting down a pet. I enjoy following my orders, because I enjoy helping serve my people, but I do not have to enjoy the orders themselves. You are just as much a thing Zizi Slatki. Everything can be classified as a thing. You come into this world, you grow, and than you die. So here you are, holding onto grudges that I honestly cannot calculate why you'd still hold them, wasting the energy and time your organic body has left. Would you preferred I simply snapped Kahli's neck? Broken your bones so you couldn't escape your capture? No? The gods will judge you on your actions, as I sure they will they will when I eventually expire. So save your breath. I will always be a figure in your life, and all your future generations. If you choose to fear me or not, hold onto a grudge, I will not lose any time over it. But by my calculations, those who hold onto hate do rash things. And I'd have no issue terminating you if you made a move on my life. And yes, it is a life. As much as you, these flowers, or the countless meatbags surrounding us."

"At least I have a choice, you just blindly follow your orders without question. You kidnapped Kanisa, and because of your actions, your people suffered in the war. If you chose not to do so, think of all the misery that could have been prevented." Zizi spat back at him. "I know what Ralnor did to Kahli, tried to stop it actually. Just because my sister is married to the king doesn't mean I have to like my brother-in-law or agree with what he did. Personally, I'd like to kick his ass, yet that would only cause more strife. Sometimes, a grudge can give a person lessons; to be wary of those who could potentially stab them in the back. Call me all sorts of names and insult me all you want, the same goes for you. If you ever try to hurt us again, mark my words, I will find a way to dismantle you, spirits so help me. I will get along with your Empress for the sake of the alliance, and nothing more."

Turning on her heel, the Zemlja marched toward the exit. She was not going to deal with this any longer. That thing, that robot, whatever it was, it had no soul, no conscience, and was evil. She knew it, it was in her gut. Zannah craved power and would do anything necessary to get what she wanted. All it would take was one simple order from the Empress and T0-D could hurt her loved ones.

"Statement: I calculate my orders. I follow them out of choice. Every order was for the betterment of my people. We did not lose the war because one little princess was kidnapped. And I'd kidnap you again, without an order, if I felt it was necessary for the betterment of my people."

Kahli finally stepped in. "T0-D. Do not threaten my wife. Zannah will know about this."

"Clarification: I so do wish that you had not married her Kahli. Someone like you would be better at the Emperor's side. By my calculations, the offspring would do wonders physically and politically for the country."

He turned back to Zizi one last time. "Statement: I choose not to beat your ugly meatbag face in out of curtesy. I have been given no specific order that says I can't hurt anyone I like here. Remember that I know where you live Zizi Slatki."

T0-D turned his mechanical clawed feet and stomped away, needing to clear his circuits.

Zizi was going deeper into the greenhouse to where plants were waiting to be installed next to machinery for watering. She used her magic to pull them closer, causing the blooms to burst out of their pots. Swirling the various flora around her, the Zemlja created a hollow sphere and stepped inside of it. She needed to listen to the whispers of the plant. The age old knowledge would soothe her about this situation.

Kahli went back to his wife, finding her in her shelter. "Zizi... please come out."

"You come in. I can protect you in here."

"Zizi... I don't need protection, but I think you feel that you do."

"You do need protection! That thing will hurt you again! I just know it! A punch in the stomach, my ass!" Zizi was close to the verge of tears. "Zarazu told me it nearly killed you!!!"

"That was an exaggeration on her part. T0-D was right in some regards. I suffered much more at the hands of the Gerudo royalty than I ever did at him. A gut punch was nothing. The suffering that happened was my worry for YOUR safety! But Zannah did not hurt you! T0-D did not hurt you! You are a flower, my flower. You're the one who is as fragile as one Zizi. So if anyone should be worried, it should be ME!"

"I don't want them to ever hurt you. I'm terrified that they will!" Her sweet husband called her a fragile flower, though some flowers had thorns. Currently, Zizi was making sure her thorns had more nutrients than her beautiful petals. "Those Hasai hunted you for months! I can see how beaten you were, exhausted and hurt in my greenhouse when we first met. I know what T0-D has done, what Zannah has done and might do in the future. How am I supposed to ever put my trust in someone who's main priority is power? I want to keep you safe, keep you close, I never want to see you hurt again, by their hands or Ralnor's. I already lost so many I carried for on Lorleidi, I can't... I can't lose you too..."

"I'M NOT AN ANIMAL TO BE HUNTED ANYMORE! AND ANYONE WHO WOULD DARE HURT ME OR  YOU WOULD SUFFER MY WRATH!!!" Kahli smashed his hand on her protective dome, flames searing from his nostrils. "Zannah is my FRIEND ZIZI! I suffered for years, until SHE helped me! The Hasai don't hunt me anymore, directly and indirectly because of her! Power is a force I do not condemn, because of the power I hold now is what saves us allows me to protect you! If you see her as a monster for valuing power, than you see me as one as well. Don't. Please."

Zizi released a startled yelp when Kahli smacked his hand upon the sphere.

"... I don't condemn you or Zannah for having power, Kahli." The Zemlja was quiet now, sounding tired. "I've never seen you or her as a monster. I'm simply afraid... of her becoming one."

Kahli gripped his fists, reeling in his emotions. "Than you discredit her by giving into your fears. T0-D was wrong in scaring you. But I, or any other Hasai would have done the same actions her committed. Circumstances are what lead us down the actions we choose. The war, saving the island home. And she has every right to hold power if it means protecting our people. I do the same to protect you, my flower."

"Power to protect is different from power to dominate, Kahli." Zizi slowly stepped out of the sphere, the flowers moving to allow her through to her husband. "Zemljas know if a soul is good or evil, my husband. When I first looked upon you, I saw a soul who was hurting but still had good in him. There was darkness there, but you defeated it. You pushed it back and chose love instead."

"Do you honestly think that Zannah is evil? After all the struggles she went through?"

"No." Zizi shook her head. "Not yet, at least. When I first saw her, I noticed there was darkness there in her soul. Grudges, pain, and despair, but I thought it was just because of the past and what was happening with the Hydra poison." She then took a breath, feeling her skin crawl. "Though each time I saw her afterwards, the darkness has become more apparent. Growing like a weed that chokes other plants to steal resources. It's growing more and more, and when she looked at Annuciata..." The Zemlja bit her lip before saying. "I think Zannah will try to bond with Annuciata. For love, perhaps, but power is the driving force. I believe she intends to make an alliance with Danjur not only for the sake of her kingdom and resources, but... maybe to make Hyrule pay for what they did."

"She wouldn't dare."

Zizi held up her hands to his face.

"Will you let me show you what I saw?"

"I don't know if that would be fair to Zannah..." Kahli was conflicted. He didn't want to be pulled into a conflict of interests. "She can't become the worries you fear, can she?"

"You tell me, my love." Zizi started to lower her hands. "You and Zannah share the same abilities of fire."

"Hyrule is more of threat than she'd ever be."

"For now, maybe. In the future, we cannot be sure."

"Your people have dragons that could annihilate her. Your brother's wife is born from a demon-man. I fear the damage Hyrule can do now over Zannah's own power."

"I understand, Kahli. Though the enemies who lie in the dark and are patient, waiting for the perfect moment to strike are more dangerous than the ones who face you in the light." Zizi's gaze went downcast. "You told me that. I don't want to think Zannah is bad, I don't want to think she has an ulterior motive to hurt anyone. Though I have to be careful, and be cautious. I wasn't before, and that could have ended bloodier than it did."

"Can I tell you something? Malik worries me more than Zannah."

"Heh..." Zizi tried not to laugh, not wanting to seem hysterical. "I'm worried about Malik too. I have no idea what Zarazu was thinking, sending him."

"He's the one who craves power. Did you see how he valued showing off his wife's power? I find it disturbing."

"I honestly just viewed that as a kink of his, but perhaps you have a point." Zizi thought about how Malik used to be Klinge. How if Zarazu was not powerful enough, she was not worthy. She could still hear the sickening smacks of Klinge's punches or kicks hurting her sister. Though Zarazu knocked him down a few pegs, taking his arm. "I trust my sister, Kahli, so I'm sure she has a plan for all of this. Maybe it's to test him. To help him learn to be... human again."

"Hmmm, perhaps...." Kahli opened his arms wide for his wife. "Would you like to go home?"

"That sounds wonderful." Zizi hugged him tightly, breathing in his smell and relaxed. She always felt so safe, so secure in his hold. "... I'm sorry if I upset you, love. I promise it was not my intention."

"I'm sorry that you've been upset. Have you ever thought about open combat against T0-D? It's been a Hasai tradition to duel in order to get over strife and deal with stress concerning another being."

"Open combat?" Zizi nearly cringed at the words. "While I would absolutely love nothing more than to pummel him for what he did, I know better than that." She rubbed her belly and then sighed. "I don't want to risk our baby and I certainly do not want to burn bridges that my sister tried hard to rebuild. Besides, Kahli..." The Zemlja turned a little red in the cheeks. "I'm not the greatest fighter. When we fought against Vul'kar, I was absolutely petrified."

"I suppose that cements it. I'll have to always be by your side to fight for and protect you." He kissed both her cheeks lightly.

"Hey, I can fight, I'm just not good at close combat." Zizi pouted at him for a moment, but smiled at his kisses. "Though I will never object to you always staying by my side."

"I'll never leave." Kahli pressed her back into the pod, kissing and nipping her neck.

"And just what do you think you're doing?" Zizi giggled as her husband maneuvered both of them inside the flora sphere. "You know you're in my domain now, right?" The Zemlja proved her point by having the vines sneak under Kahli's shirt to tug at it as well as his pants.  

"I know. I wanted to give you a handicap~" He was already massaging her breasts. "This thing is sound proof, correct?" "Do you want it to be sound proof so I can moan as loud as you want?" Zizi knew how her lover was weak to love bites, so she bit down, hard, on his neck. "And a handicap? Such a gentleman."

Kahli hissed loudly. "Z-zizi."

He was already dropping his pants, and pushed downwards on her chest.

"Yes~~~?" Zizi ran her hands up his chiseled torso and the vines finished pulling off the shirt and Kahli's pants. However, the Zemlja was being very playful today. The flora sneaked up his thighs, running over his skin in feather light touches. "Does my lover want me to tease him?"

"That stings Zizi. I just want to embrace you..."

"I think we both know you want to do a little more than just embrace me." Zizi winked at him before trailing her hands down to his manhood. "Looks like I have a nice treat waiting for me."

Kahli growled, pulling her close. "I want to fuck your troubles away.”

"I don't object to that, just not too rough, love." Zizi kissed him, tugging on his neck to pull him closer. "After all, this is precious cargo in here."

“I promise not to be too hard.” Kahli went pressed his cock to her womanhood, grinding his teeth as he held her close.

Zizi shivered as her husband slipped inside her walls. He was always so warm, so passionate in his love making. How she wished she could hold onto that feeling forever. She held onto his shoulders as Kahli moved, moaning softly. Biting his neck, Zizi wrapped her legs around Kahli.

Kahli groaned loudly as she held onto his body. It was nirvana to him. “Whisper to your desires.”

"I want to make love to you everyday, I want to kiss you everyday, I want to keep you here in my arms and never let you go..." Zizi breathed as she ran her hands down Kahli's back. "I want you to know how much I love you, how thankful I am for you..."

“I love you. You are my passion. You are what sets my mind free.”

"Passion, indeed, love, I believe I can feel you swelling up inside of me." Zizi purred at Kahli, giving his back a light scratch as she nibbled on his throat. "Make me cum."

Kahli took a hand a pressed hard  her left nipple. He made sure to dip her back enough as he fucked her for the blood to go to her head.

"Ooooh-oh!!!!" Zizi moaned aloud as Kahli continued to thrust, digging her nails into his shoulders. The way his touch was fire incarnate made her see stars. Every single nerve was aflame, and responding to his caress. It was not long before the Zemlja came undone, crying out her husband's name.

“You’re so tight when you scream my name. Where do you want my seed?”

"I want you to cum in me, on me, anywhere, I want them to smell you on me."

Kahli never did this before, but pulling out, he cummed all over his lovers face down below.

"Mmm... I daresay you have a kink for marking your territory, Kahli." Zizi's tongue licked the corner of her mouth where a drop of cum hit her face. "Now I'll smell like you all day."

“You look filthy my dear. Rub it in before we leave~”

"And who's fault is that?" Zizi made sure to 'clean up' before exiting the sphere with her husband. "I feel better, Kahli."

“I’m glad.” Kahli held her close, walking away with her as people stared in disbelief at the two coming out of the pod. “You should wear the tribal painting next time.”

"Tribal painting? That's a good idea, love. I'll wear it to a meeting with Annuciata, and then later," Zizi leaned closer to whisper into his ear. "You can 'rub' it off of me."

“I’d like that very, very much.”

[muses-darling]

FIRE & FURY - A STAR WARS AU - CH.2 Growing Pains

The hatch opened letting in the noise of the sprawling city planet of Coruscant now free of the Sith Empires’ ships. The Republic had one the battle for now, the threat of the Sith’s return was always at a high though. Kit made his way down the ramp and smiled at the familiar Senator who had come to greet him. “Will!”

“Kit my friend this visit is most unexpected.” Will started.

“Visit? This is my home Will, yes the life of a Jedi leads me to leave it but I always return.”

Will frowned and was about to say more when HK-47 interrupted.

“Interruption: Master are you aware this is a Meatbag Senator? That I have means with which to dispatch him hastily and in a relatively imaginative way too.” 

“I have no doubt you do, but I don’t think that is necessary.” Kit shook his head. “Forgive him Will he’s homicidal.”

“Correction: Killing a Senator is always necessary, Master.”

Will gave the droid a look of disbelief. “What does he have against Senators?” 

“ Answer: There are a lot of politicians on Coruscant, Master. I could spend decades slaughtering them and still not make a dent." Hk-47 stated to Will with an almost amused manner. 

“Where did you get this droid Kit?” Will eyed both of them over.

“You know I don’t know I woke up and it called me Master.”

“Statement: And you are not the first nor will you be the last of a many long line of Masters most of which I have shot through with a blaster.”

“Ah well that’s reassuring.” Will said crossing his arms amused at the murder intentioned droid. 

“Agreement: Indeed it would be most horrible if I were to miss my targets, after all I take pride in my work.”

“You’ve had other masters?”

“Answer: Of course, I have more than one now.”

“Who else is your master?” Kit asked.

“Explanation: Currently I call you Master, I also call Lord Ignis my Master as well. He gave me to you making you my new master.”

“Did he give you to me to kill me?” Kit asked.

“Evaluation: That remains to be seen until otherwise stated I am to keep my eye on you.” 

“Keep an eye on you? How thoughtful,” Will smiled. 

“Indeed,” Kit sighed. “Just don’t kill anyone unless absolutely necessary.”

“Query: Not even the Senator?”

“Especially not the Senator.” Kit started walking away.

“Commentary: Master is not as fun as Master Ignis said you would be.”

Kit rolled his eyes he needed to speak with Master Gabriel.

________________________________________________________________

Emelyne rushed to her Father’s arms and laughed merrily as they held to each other. “I’m sorry it took so long Em,” Master’s held to his daughter with a smile. 

“Too long! But I’m just so glad you are safe!” She hugged her Father kissing him on the forehead. “I missed you.”

“I’m glad you are safe!” He looked her over. “Safe, well, and cared for.” 

Alucard walked up leaning against the legs of the ramp of the Cerberus, “Not to break up this wonderful and charming moment, but, I never do anything for the warm fuzzies.” 

Masters swallowed and looked up at Alucard from his attention on Emelyne. “Right of course how could I forget? You all are owed something for helping return my daughter to me safely. Whatever I can get for you, whatever my daughter promised, I’ll happily pay you with.” 

Alucard smiled. “A simple sorry will suffice for nearly selling me to the Sith. For terrorizing my crew and nearly damaging my ship.”

“I-” Masters nodded. “Please forgive me for all that is mentioned, and if you ever need the Knight’s help by all means give us a transmission. We’re around.” Masters’ took Emelyne arm around her shoulder walking away. 

“Hey, if you need someone to be some muscle for a run, give me a ring.” Kaleb smiled. “See you around.”

“Oh I most certainly will seek out your aid should I need it.” Alucard smiled waving to them.

“Aww I liked them,” Layla said arms crossing. 

“Agreed, but, we can’t keep them separated forever,” Nikki said from where she was perched.

“So Captain where too?” Honey asked nudging Alucard.

“What do you all say to running a gambit on Cantonica?” Alucard gave her a smile. 

“I think you just want to see me in one of my little numbers.” She teased.

“I’d rather see you out of it.” Alucard said leaning closer to her kissing her.

“EARS!” Layla and Nikki said in unison.

Alucard rolled his eyes. 

“Alright, but we get out if it gets too dangerous.” Honey smiled. “We just got back together, no need to get separated so quickly.”

“There is no credits paid in death.” Alucard smiled as they boarded the ship.

________________________________________________________________

Streams of starlight focused as they exited Hyperspace. 

“WHAT THE HELL WAS ALL THAT!” Ben asked still breathing heavily.

“Language!” Aziraphale said a shocked expression on his face looking at Ben then to Crowley.

“Nah, I’m with him Angel, what the hell was that back there.” Crowley looked between the four of them. “Also not so loud my niece is sleeping.” 

“Crow!”

“Now you’ve done it!” Crowley got up going to the tiny red head scooping her up. “Shhh, it’s ok, we’ve escaped the bad guys, Uncle Crow is here no one is going to hurt you.” He smiled at Juliet carrying her back to her bunk. 

Aziraphale looked to the planet before them in thought. “They were Sith, that much is certain, but I’ve never seen Sith like them before. Their hatred was so much more focused.”

“Do you think the Sith might have called in reinforcements from the outer rim?”

“No, Lord Ign-Hades has been trying to end the war as discreetly as possible.” Harper shook her head as she thought.

“Unless there is another betrayer in the ranks?” Ben suggested.

“You know with how Sith are there is always that.” Harper agreed. 

Aziraphale looked at the planet his face twitching, “Crowley. Are we where I think we are?”

“Afraid so Angel.”

“Crowley you promised!” Aziraphale said exasperated. 

“I did no such thing, I just said I would avoid us coming back if I could help it.”

“Couldn’t we just?” Aziraphale started to suggest.

“No, you know they won’t come looking for us here.” Crowley got into the Captain’s seat. “Now there are worse places to go.”

Aziraphale gave him a judgmental look before looking away. 

“Look just because it’s a little spooky doesn’t mean it isn’t a good place to hide.”

“A little? Dagobah is beyond spooky! Think of your Niece.”

“I have and that is why I’m taking extra precautions. Now we are going down there.”

“We’ll never get out.”

“Aww you only say that because last time we almost didn’t.” Crowley grinned at him before starting their way down to the planet.

“I cannot believe you are actually going through with this!” Aziraphale said but did nothing to stop Crowley.

“To be honest that makes both of us Angel.” Crowley pressed a kiss to Aziraphale’s cheek. “Now help me find a place to land that isn’t water.”

________________________________________________________________

Searing pain shot through his body making him arc and writhe, his mouth open in agony but no sound came through too wracked with pain to breath. Whipping back and forth across the floor hair twisting, flowing, covering his face. Each blast more excruciating, he lay afterwards unable to move, too sore, too weakened, and unable to control his muscles to stop the spasms. 

“Enough Sister, you’ll kill him if you aren’t careful.” Dartjh Lykaios entered the cell looking at the pained husk of a man curled up on the ground. “Then what use in finding him will he be?”

The woman smiled cruelly. “Oh he will stay useful even after he dies by my hand. He will serve as a reminder not to cross me. Now tell me where is my son Hades.” She leaned down taking hold of Hades’ face. 

Hades’ jaw was clenched as another spasm ricocheted his muscles. When he did speak he spoke hoarsely. “Go fuck yourself Darth Ceres. I will die before I betray him.”

“Oh you most certainly will,” She smiled. “Now be a good boy and tell me, I’m a patient woman, I can wait, but I’m afraid your season has passed. While mine has only just begun.”