#can we address one another's arguments in their own words and not by what you think they mean based on what someone else said please?

[blackswallowtailbutterfly]

Can I ask when the last time “dick worshipper”, etc. has actually been used by a radblr woman? Not a black-pill orbiter; they’re awful to everyone and don’t tend to last long here. I mean from someone in radblr, claiming to be a radical feminist or supporting radical feminism. I know it used to be fairly common years ago. So did political lesbianism, which pissed everyone off for different reasons. Most of those people either left or just don’t show up in my circles anymore, and those that do again don’t last long. So where is this coming from? I see it referenced but no recent examples. I am seeing a hell of a lot of recent homophobia from women in radblr though. Every woman I’ve seen addressing the homophobia has stated the misogynistic terms aren’t okay, again, even though from what I’ve seen it hasn’t happened for a long time. Whereas I’m seeing a ton of defensiveness and doubling down in regards to the homophobia. And there seems to be this demand of all lesbians and non-lesbian pro-separatist women to denounce the “dick worshipper” type comments, and it’s like, A) they already have and B) if they’re not the ones who said it can you stop conflating pro-separatist arguments with that shit? Again, this is just what I’ve seen. Maybe the “dick-worshipper” comments are all over some areas of radblr, but they’re not from anyone I follow or have seen on my dash for years. I’d say for the last four or five years the only time I’ve seen it is from women asking not to be called that--which, I agree, I don’t want to be called that and I don’t want to see other women called that. It’s just, I haven’t been called it or seen it for a long time, so something’s not adding up.

[onsomenewsht]

The sun's in my heart and I'm ready for love

About when she's right next to you, he's a menace and nothing can rain on your parade

》 Alexia Putellas x Reader

》 words count: -1.4k

》 rain or shine [idiom]: regardless of the weather or circumstances; sometimes used figuratively for whatever happens

“Mami, it’s raining today too!”

Your son’s voice is a sound you’ll never get tired of.

That’s what you have to remind yourself as you open your eyes at six in the morning on a rare day off, a five-year-old kid jumping on the bed without a care.

The rain hitting the windows is actually the third noise your still-half-asleep mind manages to take in – yet one you’re starting to get used to after almost a year in London.

Upon hearing Rafael’s voice – hours of Facetime could never make your son’s voice justice or bridge the distance –, the slight snoring of your wife comes to you, blissfully asleep at your side and unaware.

Lucky her.

“Rafa, it’s gonna stop soon”, you hope, trying to smooth his disappointment. Or at least make him stop bouncing.

“Aquí siempre llueve!” [but it’s always raining here]

He has a point.

Used to the Barcelona sun, the kid’s trips in London are often greeted by cloudy days and unexpected rainfalls. Maybe an entire morning exploring the park was an overly bold and optimistic promise.

“Monito, ven aquí” [come here]

She rises.

You turn to the woman as she pats the space between the two of you with one hand, the other on her face, trying to wake herself up properly – and hiding an amused smirk too.

Alexia’s smile grows as she welcomes your son under the blankets.

She looks tired, exhausted even. It’s a long and tricky season, the one occurring. And the situation you find yourself in as a family since you accepted the transfer to London is not helping.

You’re trying though, you all are.

“What do you think of lots of cuddles and then lots of waffles while we wait for the rain to stop, ¿qué tal?”

“How many waffles are we talking about?”

“A tantos como podamos comer” [as many as we can eat]

You lightly hit the blonde’s arm, avoiding being seen by Rafael.

She’s perfectly aware you’re going to be the one cooking for two people able to eat like an army – way too much for an athlete during the season and a kid barely tall enough to reach the kitchen counter by himself.

As an answer, the Catalan blows you a kiss and a wink.

You miss dearly mornings like this one, serene and without the frenetic need to be and to do as much as possible in the shortest time out of fear of not doing enough, not being together enough, before you have to be far away again.

“Hay trato” [we have a deal], he says with gravity after a careful evaluation of the proposal.

You and Alexia can’t hold back a laugh at Rafael’s unusual solemnity, ruffling his hair.

“¡Mami, no! You have to wake up, you have to make waffles!

“Yo? Oh no, you didn’t make a deal with me, monito”

“¡Por favor!, mamà can’t make them as good”

The mentioned lets out an offended gasp at the boy’s statement, bringing one hand to her chest as mortally wounded, to then theatrically collapse on the bed.

“My own child!”

“Mamà, es la verdad” [it’s true], Rafael doesn’t even turn around to acknowledge his mother, addressing you instead to plead his cause, “She tries to make them when I miss you, but they’re not really good”

Ignoring the grip on your heart at your son’s comment is way too difficult, but one thing you’re sadly starting to master, redirecting the conversation and sparking another little argument between him and Alexia.

It’s something you both learned to do in the past year, both out of necessity and out of care. You don’t hide the pain the distance causes your family, but you always try to make up for it with the love that binds you.

And with waffles, apparently.

The background noise subsides when you come back from your own head to giggles and a tickle fight.

Without even realising how it happens, you find yourself outnumbered with Alexia on top of you, holding your hands, while Rafael can’t hold back his laugh – even if he’s the one tickling you.

As soon as you decide it’s a reasonable time to actually get out of bed, you push both out of the room, demanding that they get dressed and at least set the table if they want to eat as many waffles as they can.

You’ve never seen either of them get ready so quickly.

What’s left of your morning passes between a long, messy breakfast, the constant rain as white noise, and silly games to distract your son from the boredom of another day locked in your new apartment.

For a kid as full of energy as Rafael is, there can be nothing worse.

A gentle hand diverts your gaze from the little boy not far away, busy setting up some toys to teach his moms a new game he invented.

“You don’t want this to get stuck”, Alexia hits you back with the same sentence you usually tell her when, too focused on something, her face wrinkles.

You turn your face, leaning into her care and her calloused hand.

“Does he hate me?”, you ask in a whisper, closing your eyes.

It’s your wife’s face that frowns this time, holding your face with both hands firmly as she tries to lift your genuinely frightened gaze to meet hers.

“How could he?”

“I moved to another country”, you answer – I left you, you’re too ashamed to say.

“Look at me, mi amor”

“I can’t–”

“Then look at him, por favor”

You dare glare back at your son, still lining up his toys and muttering some words to himself. He feels your eyes on himself, firing a smile in your direction and an excited “Almost ready, moms!”

“He loves you, and I love you”

“But–”

“No, we love you”, the Catalan states with a determinate edge in her voice, “You’re doing what’s best for your career, and neither of us is gonna hold it against you, not now nor ever. We’re making this work, no matter what”

Lost for words, you try to convey your gratitude with a kiss.

“No más lluvia!” [it’s stopped raining], the moment is interrupted by the childlike joy of Rafael, who joins you running and jumping, “Can we go out now?”

“I think it’s a bit too cold to–”

You stop Alexia with a hand on her arm and a small, resolute smile on your face, “It’s okay, go wear the raincoat Vic gifted you”

“¡Vamos!”

He skips to his room in your apartment, and you follow shortly behind, urging your wife to do the same. The blonde has a curious and slightly sceptical look on her face at the sudden mood shift.

“Cheer up, you don’t want that to get stuck”, you mock her with a grin.

The walk to the park just behind your apartment is marked by Rafael’s enthusiastic hopping. He is adorable, protected by huge amphibians and a yellow raincoat with a duck beak on the hood.

A view that manages to hearten Alexia, despite her aversion to the London weather.

When the two of you notice a huge puddle in the middle of the park, you know your son is going for it even before he sprints forward.

The kid jumps impressively high, right into the water, creating a wide splash all around as his open laugh fills the park and your heart.

You don’t miss a bit, taking your wife’s hand and running toward the mini version of the footballer ahead of you – right into the puddle to join the fun. Even skipping and kicking the water more when it starts to pour again, soaking you all head to toe.

The Catalan woman’s hands find your waist as you land another jump, spinning you around and right in her arms.

Loud giggles subside just when Alexia’s lips find yours, not caring about the rain or how the smiles on both your faces make it difficult to kiss properly.

What takes you apart is the sudden wave of water that hits hard and cold, Rafael jumping right between the two of you with a huge grin on his face as he draws your attention very effectively.

You and Alexia look at him, not ready at all for the loud “Quack!” he shouts, covered in his duck-like raincoat.

[vampireimiko]

pregnant reader x miguel o’hara: gabis first parent teacher conference and they’ve gotta explain why she keeps saying her dads gonna whoop the kids ass whenever they piss her off

parent teacher conference

warnings, none at all !! just like 1 cuss word or something 💀

note, THANK YEW FOR REQUESTING VENUS 🫶🏾🫶🏾, this is the longest oneshot ive ever made😭 anyway i hope you all enjoy !!

It's Parent Teacher Conference night, and Miguel finds himself sitting near the back of the auditorium to keep an eye on the meeting. There seems to be a bit of arguing between teachers and parents about the workload being too much for some students, when he senses a presence next to him and looks up to see that you, his wife, sits to his left, who is visibly pregnant and with her own plate filled with food.

"Oh my god- Miguel! This food is so good, do you want some?" You said, mouth full of a bit of everything on your plate. Miguel chuckled at your antics and shook his head no.

"As entertaining as this is" He says pointing towards the arguments in front of him, "I'm just ready to have our 1 on 1 with Gabriella's teacher."

You agreed with him, as you two had been sitting here for quite some time. But just like clockwork, Gabriella's teacher, Ms. Rose walked up to you and Miguel letting you know she was ready to have your conference.

Ms. Rose greeted you both with a warm smile, her eyes briefly glancing at your visibly pregnant belly before focusing on the matter at hand. "Thank you both for being here tonight! I appreciate your dedication to Gabriella's education."

You exchanged a nod and a smile, grateful for the teacher's acknowledgment. Miguel stepped forward, his voice filled with genuine interest. "We're looking forward to hearing about Gabriella's progress and any areas where we can support her better."

"Of course! Please if you could follow me to my classroom and we can get straight into discussing." With that being said, you and Miguel get up from the seats with him having to help you. It was getting hard for you stand up by yourself and you absolutely could not wait to have this baby out of you. Anyway enough of that, you and Miguel make your way too the classroom following behind Ms. Rose.

She opens the door and encourages you two to sit wherever. As you settled into the seats, she began sharing Gabriella's achievements and areas for improvement, providing a comprehensive overview of her academic journey.

The both of you listened to her intently, focusing on what Gabriella needed a bit more help on. You and Miguel took turns asking questions and clarification's on certain things. You could tell Ms. Rose genuinely cared about her students, taking the time to learn they're strengths and challenges.

"Now despite Gabriella being absolutely wonderful, there is one more thing I'd like to address." Ms Rose said switching her tone to a more serious one. You and Miguel looked at one another then back at her.

"Yes?"

"I've been overhearing Gabriella tell people that Mr. O'Hara here would come up to the school and in her words, 'whoop anybody who pisses me off'."

The both of your eyes widened. Miguel knew he said that, you know he said that, hell even the baby inside of you knew he said it! Not only did be say that, but he meant it aswell. Nobody is messing with his babygirl.

"Miguel!" You slapped his shoulder, putting on a serious front up in front of Ms. Rose, knowing damn well you wanted so badly to burst out laughing.

The room fell into an awkward silence as Ms. Rose observed the exchange between you, Miguel, and your shared reaction. Your attempt to maintain a serious demeanor in front of her was quickly crumbling as your suppressed laughter threatened to burst forth.

Miguel's face turned a shade of red, realizing the weight of his words and the potential consequences they might have had. He cleared his throat, trying to compose himself, his eyes darting between you, Ms. Rose, and the floor.

"I-I apologize Ms. Rose. That was a misguided attempt at humor. I never intended for her to come to school and say something like that." He said rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

Ms. Rose, her expression a mix of amusement and understanding, nodded. "I appreciate your honesty, Miguel. It's essential to address such statements to ensure a safe and inclusive environment for everyone."

You struggled to contain your laughter, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. Taking a deep breath, you managed to compose yourself enough to speak without bursting into giggles. "Yes, Ms. Rose, we apologize for any confusion caused. We'll make sure to have a conversation with Gabriella about appropriate language and the importance of respectful interactions."

Ms. Rose's lips curved into a gentle smile. "I understand that children can sometimes pick up on our words and interpret them in unexpected ways. It's important for us as adults to model the behavior we want to see in them."

Fast foward to being done with the conference, you and Miguel were walking too the car. He stopped the both of you and you furrow your eyebrows in confusion as he leans down to your stomach.

"Just to let you know, that same statement in there goes for you too."

𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞; 𝐖𝐎𝐎 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐰 !! 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬, 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐦 (𝐢𝐟 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐟𝐮𝐥) 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 !!

𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧

[giannan04]

Hiii, can you please write a Yandere San X reader fanfic? Maybe where he’s her therapist and he gets her to break up with her bf because he’s been obsessed with her? 🙏🏽make it dark pleaseee? Tyy in advance

Thanks for the request!💕🫶🏻I hope you like it, I tried to fit everything in the best I could 🥹🫶🏻I hope it’s dark enough for you 👀

-

Pairing: Therapist Yandere! Choi San x afab! Reader, Mention of Jung Wooyoung X afab! Reader

Genre: Yandere; thriller

Warnings: Manipulation, mentions of a toxic relationship, slight smut, character death, very slight gore.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! 🔞

-

Dr. San Choi's reputation preceded him. He was the therapist everyone seemed to swear by. Patients praised his ability to get results where others failed, and he was known for treating some of the most complex mental health cases in the city. When your relationship with Wooyoung started having problems, your best friend Mingi suggested therapy. You were hesitant at first, but when he specifically recommended Dr. Choi, someone who had worked wonders for him, you decided to give it a try.

“Trust me, San’s the real deal,” Mingi said, leaning in with that serious look he gets when he really means something. “He helped me when I was going through one of the darkest periods in my life. If anyone’s gonna help you figure out what’s going on, it’s him.”

That’s how you found yourself meeting with San in his warmly lit office multiple times a week. From the start, Dr.Choi had a way of making you feel truly heard, like every word you said mattered. He never rushed through sessions and even went as far as canceling other appointments just so you could have more time when you needed it. He never told you that you were wrong, no matter how messy or complicated your relationship issues sounded. Instead, he listened with that same calm, reassuring expression that made you feel understood and validated. Over time, he even gave you his home address, offering to meet there if you ever needed to talk outside of office hours. You didn’t think much of it—you just figured he was incredibly dedicated to his work and to helping you through this tough time.

Over the weeks, San subtly guided you into believing that your relationship was toxic, that Wooyoung was holding you back. He never said it outright; instead, he asked questions that made you second-guess everything. "Do you feel like you're truly happy?" he'd ask, his voice gentle but insistent. "Sometimes, we stay in situations because we're afraid of being alone, not because they're right for us." Little by little, you found yourself reexamining your relationship with Wooyoung.

San’s advice seemed to play on repeat whenever you fought with Wooyoung. The tension between you two had been getting worse for months, with minor disagreements escalating into major arguments. Every time you argued with Wooyoung, you couldn’t shake the feeling that San’s words were right there with you. Even though part of you still hoped things could improve, the truth was hard to ignore: deep down, you knew San was right, there was no saving your relationship. It felt like there was no way to fix what had become broken, despite your hopes that things could somehow get better.

One night, after another argument left you in tears, you found yourself at San's apartment instead of your own. You needed someone to talk to, and San was the first person you could think of. You had caught Wooyoung with another girl, and you didn’t want to be alone. You needed to let everything out. Your heart was broken, and you know the only person you could talk to was San. You hadn't planned on it, but he'd always offered you to come to his place,and before you knew it, there you were, standing outside his front door.

When San opened the door, pleasantly surprised to see you. His brows furrowed as he glanced at his watch. “Y/N? What happened? It’s almost midnight,” he asked, concern replacing the confusion in his eyes as he noticed that you were sobbing. Tears covered your face, and you were so hurt and anxious that you were shaking. San’s heart broke seeing you like that. Without hesitation, his expression softened, and he gently took your trembling hand. “Come in,” he said, his voice soothing as he pulled you into the safety of his home.

You sat on his couch, trying to hold back more tears as you told him everything—how you found Wooyoung with another girl, how you felt like your relationship was falling apart. San listened intently, never taking his eyes off you, nodding with genuine empathy. When you finished, San leaned in closer, brushing a tear off your cheek with his thumb. “You deserve so much better than this, Y/N,” he whispered, his voice low and comforting. “You deserve someone who would never even think of hurting you like that. Someone who truly values you.”

You felt a blush rise to your cheeks at his words and the way his hand lingered on your face, the soft caress sending a warmth through you that you hadn’t felt in a long time. His touch was tender yet firm, making you feel safe; cared for. You haven’t felt that way in a while. You caught your breath as he leaned in just a bit closer, his other hand gently resting on your thigh, as if waiting for your permission. “I can show you what it feels like to be treated right,” he murmured, his gaze darkening with desire. Despite the hesitation you felt at the back of your mind, you couldn’t deny the lust and attraction you felt in that moment. You leaned into his touch, your body responding before your thoughts could catch up.

His lips were dangerously close now, and there was no more space between you. All the tension, all the confusion, all the heartbreak you were feeling—everything faded away as his hands slid further up your skirt, placing his hands on your ass, pulling you into him with a gentle firmness that felt intoxicating. “Let me take care of you, Y/N,” San whispered, his words making your body tingle and heart flutter. And before you could even think to resist, you found yourself nodding, your body betraying you. In your head, you knew this was wrong, but your body felt so right. And you needed, no, deserved to be loved and cared for. It was about damn time.

“I want you, San… I need you. Please, take care of me,” you told him softly, never looking away from his brown almond-shaped eyes. That was all San needed to hear-the very words he had been waiting for since the moment you stepped into his office. San smirked, as he began undressing you with a deliberate slowness, savoring every second. He took in each sight of your beautiful body, pleased that it belonged to him.Before you knew it, he was fucking you right there in his living room, each touch, each kiss, each thrust leaving you wanting more. For the first time in months, Wooyoung and your relationship problems vanished from your mind, replaced by the warm sensation of San's hands on your body, the way he whispered your name like a prayer. The way his dick filled you up, the way he kissed your body was he made love to you.

The only things you were thinking about was how you never wanted San to stop making love to you. And San knew, finally… you belonged to him. San's hands rested possessively on your waist as he thrusted deeper and deeper inside you, your ass slapping against his thighs. You moaned uncontrollably, never wanting him to stop. You wanted to show him he had complete control over you. San’s eyes never left the sight of you, he loved seeing what a slut you could be for him, and how only he could make you feel this way. Smirking, he bent down close to your ear, whispered sweetly to you. "See? You feel it, don't you? How good we are together. You don't need him, Y/N. I'm the one who understands you, who can give you everything you’ve ever wanted, and more. Only I can make you feel this way. You belong to me, and I’m never letting you go."

The next morning, sunlight peeked through the curtains, but the warmth in the living room felt oddly suffocating. You noticed a heavy blanket was draped over your naked body. You must have fallen asleep after what happened last night, so San must’ve brought a blanket out for you. You glanced over and San was still lying beside you, sleeping peacefully. His arm was wrapped tightly around your waist. Yawning, you reached for your phone which was on the floor next to you. You unlocked your phone, and your heart nearly skipped a beat when you saw a text from Wooyoung: I know I fucked up. But I love you. And I want us to work on things. I don’t want to lose you. Let me know when you’re ready to talk.

Your heart fluttered with a sense of hope, but before you could respond to the text, you felt San's eyes boring into you. You looked up at him, not realizing how closely he was watching your every move. You didn’t even hear him wake up. His expression remained calm, but the slight clenching of his jaw told you everything. He was furious. He must’ve seen you open the message on your phone when he woke up.

"Oh. Wooyoung texted me. He wants to fix things," you said, a little too eagerly, not noticing the anger settling into San's expression.

San's smile didn't quite reach his eyes as he leaned in to kiss your forehead.

"That's... nice," he murmured, though his voice didn’t reflect that. He actually sounded pissed, but you could tell he wasn’t trying to show it. San stood up, wrapping the blanket around him as he walked towards his bedroom. “I have to get dressed. You can stay here as long as you need, Y/N. I actually have to head out for another appointment, but make yourself at home, alright?"

You nodded. “Okay, thank you,” you said sweetly, ignoring the tension.

San drove in silence, his knuckles white as he gripped the steering wheel. He replayed your excitement over Wooyoung's text in his mind, a bitter taste settling on his tongue. How could you be so blind? After everything he had done to get you away from Wooyoung, after showing you what real love felt like, you still had the nerve to be excited about that cheating scumbag reaching out! Pissed off didn’t even begin to describe how San felt. He was so angry his eyes twitched and his hands shook as he drove. He had to do something, he was about to have you all to himself until that mother fucker sent you that text.

His thoughts darkened further as he arrived at the home you shared with Wooyoung. His plan formed in his mind, making him feel only a little better. He knocked on the door, his face wearing the mask of a friendly, concerned therapist. Really, he was the furious therapist who wanted to fuck somebody up.

Wooyoung opened the door, blinking in surprise. "San? Aren't you YIN's therapist?"

San let out a cheerful laugh. "Yeah, I am! My office is getting renovated, so I thought I'd stop by and see how things are going. I know Y/ N's been having a tough time, and I wanted to touch base."

Wooyoung relaxed slightly, shrugging. "She's not here right now, but come in. We can talk about how she's been doing. Ive been wanting to talk to you, anyway. Maybe you can give me some insight."

San stepped inside, carefully observing every detail of the house, the place where you once tried to build a future with someone who never deserved you. They moved throughout the home and as Wooyoung started talking, San could feel his blood boiling but he knew he had to remain calm. Wooyoung would get what he deserved shortly.

Wooyoung led San into the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of bourbon. “Want some?” he asked, holding the bottle up. “No, thank you. I’m just here under professional circumstances” San smiled, watching as Wooyoung shrugged and opened the bottle. “Suit yourself,” he said, taking a sip. San and Wooyoung sat at the table, ready to discuss sessions. Which was what San wanted Wooyoung to think, anyway.

"Ever since she started therapy, it's like she's blowing everything out of proportion.

She's been acting like our problems are way bigger than they actually are, like she's ooking for an excuse to leave. I don't know, man... it feels like she's being pushed into seeing the worst in me." Wooyoung stared long and hard at San.

San's eyes darkened, his smile slipping for just a moment as he watched Wooyoung ramble on. How dare he accuse him of manipulating you? Wooyoung was the one who had been lying to you, hurting you, cheating on you, and who knows what else. Hell, this dick was the whole reason you needed therapy in the first place! And yet here he was, acting like the victim.

"You really think so?" San's voice was low, dangerous. He took a step closer to Wooyoung, who didn't seem to notice the shift in San's tone.

"Yeah, it's like she's-" Wooyoung was cut off by the sudden pressure of San's hand around his neck. Panic flashed in Wooyoung's eyes as he struggled against San’s grip.

“San, what…what the hell are you doing?" Wooyoung croaked, trying to break himself free. He managed to break out of the hold, shoving San back with surprising strength, but San's fury was beyond reason now. The therapist quickly regained control, his movements turning brutal as he rained down punches, each one fueled by the sickening memories of everything Wooyoung had done to hurt you.

"This is for Y/N," San hissed between clenched teeth, his eyes wild as he struck Wooyoung with relentless force. San began to stop on Wooyoung, not caring that his blood was getting thrown into the air.

"For every tear she shed because of you."

Wooyoung's resistance weakened as blood dripped from his split lips and broken nose. San's breaths were ragged as he lifted Wooyoung's head by his hair, glaring into his fading eyes. “Pl-please, man…don’t do this. I love Y/n. I never hurt her that much. Believe me”, Wooyoung tears mixed with the blood covering his face satisfied San beyond reason. “Sorry, but with you gone, Y/n will be happier. If you really loved her, you wouldn’t mind dying.” With a final surge of strength, San twisted his hand, the sickening crack of Wooyoung's neck snapping echoing in the room as he tore his head clean off.

The lifeless expression on Wooyoung's face was frozen in terror as San calmly wiped his hands on a towel he found in the kitchen. The sight of Wooyoung's head dangling by his fingers didn't faze him-in fact, he was feeling a sense of satisfaction

San returned to his apartment, already mentally preparing to tell you to ignore Wooyoung’s text, that he didn’t deserve you. But when he entered his home, he found you pacing the living room, your phone clutched tightly in your hand.

"San, I've been thinking... maybe I should give Wooyoung another chance," you blurted out. You didn't notice how San's entire demeanor shifted, his smile growing unnervingly cold.

"Why would you even consider that, Y/N?" San's voice was sharper than you expected, laced with barely-contained fury. You thought your therapist would’ve been happy for you, that you were ready to work things out. “After everything he's put you through, why would you care? Especially after what we did last night."

His words cut through you like ice. You hadn't anticipated such a strong reaction from him. Your face turned bright red and you avoided his gaze. "I... I don't know. I guess I was just confused. I just wanted to feel loved but I’m in love with Wooyoung, and it’s hard to let go of someone you cared about for so long."

San's eyes narrowed, his patience thinning. "You shouldn't have even cared when he texted you. Do you think that was fair to me? Letting me be the one to comfort you, only to get excited over him? And then you let me fuck you-" His words dripped with venom as his eyes blazed with barely-restrained anger. “You’re a worthless whore. Disgusting… I don’t know how I’m even looking at you right now. I shouldn’t have felt bad for you all of those times you came to my office, crying about him. You deserve to be treated like shit!”, his words dripped with venom, his face turning red as he screamed in your face. Your ears throbbed and you broke down in tears. San was scaring you, and the things he was saying to you hurt.

You took a step back, sobs shaking your body. San... I didn't mean for things to get so complicated… please stop yelling at me, you’re scaring me!,” you put your hands in front of your face, just in case he was going to starting hitting you.

San's expression hardened, and without another word, he grabbed your hand, pulling you toward the living room. "I think it's time I show you something, Y/n.

You nodded, unsure of what he had to show you. For some reason, there was a feeling in your stomach, a gut feeling. Something was off. The unease grew as he led you to a trash bag that was sitting in front of the front door. “What’s that?,” you asked, confused. Why on earth was he showing you a trash bag? Did he want you to take the garbage out?

San laughed, but it wasn’t humorous. With a single swift motion, San tore the trash bag open, revealing the gruesome sight inside.

Wooyoung's severed head stared back at you, lifeless eyes wide open in horror. His olive skin had turn a sickly gray color, and a stench burned your nose. Your breath caught in your throat as you stumbled back, terror freezing you in place. You screamed, your hands covering your eyes as you dropped to the floor. “Why… why would you do this?”, you covered your face, as you choked on snot and tears. Your body shook and between the crying, the smell of rotting flesh, and the sight of the love of your life’s body-less head was all too much. You stared up at San. Someone you trusted with your problems, someone you felt safe with, was a monster. San looked at you, a twisted grin on his face.

"Now, Y/N, tell me... are you still confused about who really cares about you?"

-

I’m still taking requests everyone, I’ll write anything🫶🏻❤️

[starberry-cupcake]

Me reading this book is like trying to pin things to a cork board with red thread but the things I'm trying to pin down are fog and they vanish before I can grasp them.

Here's a visual representation of me finishing a chapter:

previously, in harrowbeenie the ninth:

this happened

currently, after chapter 5 (you're gonna have to be patient with this one):

we're moving back and forth between the second and third person

knowing now the content of the letters that yandere twin had talked about in the prologue, it makes some sense

but we aren't there yet

I need to point out something I don't think I specified enough last time

ice cube barbie changed eyes

people be changin' eyes here

she used to have eyes like harrow and now she has, and I quote: "ever since you had writhed in Lyctoral agony, her eyes had turned a yellow that made you dizzy to behold: a bronzed, hot, animal yellow, as amber as the inside of an egg"

this is from gideon's last ch.: "Gideon's eyes, as they always did, startled her: their deep, chromatic amber, the startling hot gold of freshly-brewed tea"

just gonna leave that there

but now, moving forward...or backwards to ch. 3 flashback of sorts

we got a recap of most of the events we knew, but in a gideon-less ver.

I'm gonna also point out that harrowbean mentions her mother holding her wrist the same way she said ice cube barbie did when they were in the coffin hangar

another addition to the clown emperor's story is that the Resurrection is described in harrow's memories as "ten thousand years ago had given them all release from death that none of them had deserved"

I don't know about any of this

we've got a disturbance in the force when harrow describes her parents finding out about the tomb thing

it says "her parents had...found out...about what she had done"

interesting edit of the story there

there's a gideon-sized hole in this story

there's also an interesting new count of nooses??

she says they tied five, two for mortus (???) but in gideon's book she said they tied their own nooses and then helped her tie hers, what's up with mortus having two??? is this nothing and I'm just obsessing about every detail???

I'm gonna start seeing palmolive's force ghost roaming around my house

at the end of ch. 3 it says "there had been another girl who grew up alongside Harrow—but she had died before Harrow was born"

this is a VERY INTERESTING wording

if someone dies before you are born, they can't grow up with you

UNLESS

I'm not gonna dwell on that yet

let's put a pin on that

ch. 4 has the re-apparition of yandere twin

*live studio audience cheers, maybe*

she gives her a letter addressed to her from her

the letter has a lot of instructions of things she doesn't remember at all and also are supposed to be opened at specific times/events

one of them says "in the event of the emperor's death"

another says it's in case she sees regina george twin, which makes a whole argument happen and knives are used to settle it

yandere twin will not hear someone imply her sister might be no longer with us

she probably isn't dead, this I know for certain, people wouldn't be confusing my names for them if that was all we got from her

the most important letter, though, is the one in case she sees camilla, who harrow claims not having interacted with ever

this is a very important thing to note, but most importantly, CAMILLA MENTION

very important to be noting who harrow remembers interacting with and who she doesn't

very important as well that she remembers yandere twin losing an arm in battle but does not remember gideon or camilla

I haven't mentioned it yet but, in the letter, past!harrow tells present!harrow that she needs to check yandere twin's tongue and lower mandibule

to which I think to myself "I bet she's gonna kiss her"

and that she did

which makes me want an edition of this book but with gideon commentary

like a dvd commentary but it's gideon commenting on all this stuff

and cracking jokes

because I bet she'd be cracking jokes about this

remember when she joked that yandere twin would marry mayonnaise uncle?

and then both harrow and mayonnaise uncle were like "ew the third's magic is weird"

imagine if she saw this display

another CRUCIAL thing is that harrow is doing like an oath to yandere twin as requested by past!harrow

and she says "by the ripped and remade soul of ortus nigenad"

and yandere twin goes "who? oh, yes—the cavalier"

I mean, mood at not remembering the names, but also SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOR

she also tells present!harrow "I gave you something you cared about very deeply at the time"

side note, there is yet another moment in which chad is read for filth

get obliterated even in undeath, chad

last detail from this chapter is that harrowbean almost gets assassinated

maybe I should have started with that

at this point there's so much going on, death seems like a normal one

so yeah, she's gonna get killed with a pillow to the face and then she defends herself and discovers at the end of the chapter that she didn't hallucinate the whole thing and it was hidden from her on purpose that somebody tried to end her

so what's the point in being in this clown death star and surviving big brother canaan house if you can't even sleep peacefully???

moving on to chapter 5

remember the timeline I was making?

yeah, about that

chapter 5, in the third person continuity, establishes that what I saw previously was not necessarily a memory but an au memory

if we can call it something at this point

so my calculations were made as if the timeline was one

but this is not one timeline, it's a sort of parallel gideon-less one

of course my heart is making me believe the gideon-less one is the one that isn't real

and that past!harrow might know what's going on with that

maybe gideon's existence needs to be protected

maybe the emperor doesn't have to know about her

(I'm still holding on to the gideon hope, leave me alone)

but, in any case, present!harrow doesn't know

let's remember the prologue begun with harrow doing something she shouldn't and yandere twin saying something like "was there something in those letters I don't know about?"

I'm just gonna have to throw my timeline in the trash and start over with multiple timelines for now

ALSO, I didn't say anything about it yet, but it's mentioned that harrow is "in love" with ice cube barbie

take that as you will

which is another joke gideon has made in the past and would be stellar in a commentary of this

and, talking about things gideon would be awesome at commenting

in the new ortus-inclusive (?) narrative, ortus is talking about the epic of Matthias Nonius, who we know because harrow has compared gideon to him in the past

and also there's is a comment made about how ortus looks down on people who read "prurient magazines or pamphlets"

I really need gideon confessionals commentary over here

she also says that "the ninth house character, she was forced to admit, had always been low on wild and confident fucks"

yeah, well, how about that

and we end with THE FLIMSY

lots of important flimsies in this

she finds a note that reads "THE EGGS YOU GAVE ME ALL DIED AND YOU LIED TO ME"

ortus says he can't read it

but, in any case,

that made me stop in my tracks because I was reminded I forgot about the writing on the walls of canaan house?????

I filed it under canaan house weirdness but then, it was never talked about?????? again????

also the paper gideon found with her name

which I assumed was addressing the other gideon that not!dulcinea mentioned knowing

but who tf knows at this point

who knows what time and space are anymore

time to leave it for today...this is getting wild, you guys

[lvlyghost]

Half My Soul: II

PAIRINGS: John Price x F!Reader

SUMMARY: The morning after John takes you home.

WORD COUNT: 1.4k

TW: smut, suggestive themes. john is the man we all deserve! descriptions of injuries. reader gets a tiny bit of background. mentions of abuse. comfort, fluff. think that's it. lmk if i missed any. mind the english!

A/N: i'm so very sorry for how long i made you wait! here's the final part. maybe i wasn't dealing with lack of inspiration it would've been longer, i even had planned another situation for this fic but oh well. i may turn it into a separate drabble. enjoy💕💫

Masterlist✨Part 1

John looks up from his phone when you walk in, he was about to take a sip from his tea mug. You're wearing one of his shirts that's nearly too big for your body. He likes it when you wear his clothes, not that he'd say it out loud. Not that it was the first time he had seen you wearing his shirts; the black hoodie he had insisted you could keep now ruined because of the blood and the lower part of the fabric that had been torn apart.

He clears his throat. Setting both the mug and mobile down.

"Sleep well?" He asks.

You hum in response.

"Too early to be awake if you ask me." John chuckles when you roll your eyes feigning annoyance.

He was far too good to you. Too good for your own sake. You didn't want to think of how inappropriate it was that you were at his apartment, wearing his clothes. Sleeping on his bed. It also didn't help that he was wearing just a pair of black sweatpants. This thing between the two of you whatever it was... made your stomach flutter and your heart warm when he looked at you the way he was right about now.

"There's coffee for you." He declares. "Know you don't fancy tea. A terrible mistake, may I add." There's a playful grin on his lips when you laugh. "How's your body?" His voice drops a few degrees. You know he's trying to be nonchalant about it but you know him. You know he's worried. Know that he hates the man who hurt you with all his being.

What you don't know is what he did as soon as he woke up. It took one more glance to your face and body. One glance to the bruises and scratches and he was climbing on his pickup truck. John knew the address. He had intended to have a civilized conversation with your father; after all you didn't want him to get hurt, despite him making your life a living hell. One thing led to another. A heated argument. Shouting and swearing. He couldn't let that monster speak about you the way he did. A staring contest. Hands pushing the other. And then there where punches being thrown. He didn't care if he was a former ranger back in the states. There was no real pride in what he did. Fuck him. He was glad he got discharged from the military. He gave soldiers a bad name. He was a blemish in everything they stood for.

"My eye's not swollen anymore. That steak really came in handy." You joke remembering the night before, when you both got to his home. And John wants to laugh, he's aware you're trying to joke about it. To brush it off like it meant nothing. Why were you such a beautiful person? No one deserved you. "Really John? The mug's on the top shelf!" You sigh, standing on your tiptoes stretching as much as you can but only had managed to graze the cabinet door to open it.

John snorts at the sight of you trying to reach it, so he stands from the stool and gently pats your shoulder, giving you a soft squeeze as he reaches out for it without effort and placing it in your hand.

"You made it look like it was hard, love. Was starting to think if I could do it myself."

You hit his arm in a playful manner making him chuckle.

"Thank you John." You murmur. He staring down at you intently. Like there was nothing else in the world to him.

"It's just a..."

"I mean for everything." You interrupt him. At first you hesitate but end up grazing his fingers until you take his hand in yours. It's warm and bigger than yours, it swallows your own entirely. Both of you stop breathing when the silence settles. Outside the sky is cloudy, rain threatening to pour down anytime soon.

"Lovely." He mutters.

"What?"

"You, love. Just you."

Something shifts in the air after those words. John and you... had been holding back each other's feelings. You more than him. He wasn't fighting them anymore and neither were you. Who were you lying to?

Just yourself. The man cared for you like no one else did. He pours some coffee in your cup with his eyes set on you all the time, even when you take a sip and place it back on the kitchen counter. "Want me to check your wounds?" He asks, but you're not listening anymore. You're lost in the deep sea that his eyes are. In the way he cleaned up your wounds yesterday. Something you had done to him many, many times before. Lost in the moment when he saw your deteriorating state last night, the anger that sparked in his blue eyes. You inhale deeply, the smell of his cologne and cigars.

John shifts his weight from one foot to another. You were staring in silence. He wonders if you're regretting accepting his invitation to his home. God knows that if you decided to leave that would be the end of him.

Why were you so silent all of the sudden? Had he made a mistake?

Bloody hell.

"No need for that John. I just need you."

And you grab him by the back of his neck pulling him down for a gentle kiss. His strong arms wrap around your waist pulling you closer until your bodies are pressed together. His lips are soft and mouth warm, you wish you could do more... maybe you can.

"Y'know how long I've waited for this?" He asks, voice raspy. A small kiss on your nose. His eyes are bright and adoringly watching you. "If I could stay like this forever..."

He kisses you again and lifts you up so your legs immediately wrap around his waist. John handles your body with so much care it makes your heart flutter, he avoids touching where the bruises are more prominent on your abdomen as he walks barefooted to the living room.

John lays both of you slowly onto the couch so that you're straddling his lap and he gives you the most gentle squeeze on your hip while his other hand tuck back a strand of hair behind your ear. It's a silent ask. A silent plea.

Do I have you permission? Can I make you mine?

And you nod. You kiss him again. Hard and hungrily. Biting down his lips. You too have waited for this. All the pent up desire that's been building over months. The longing stares, the casual touches. It's all led to this very moment where your—his— shirt get tossed to the floor, his pants don't make it all the way down and your underwear is merely pushed aside. The embarrassing amount of slick that coats your folds when John slides his fingers up and down your cunt making you gasp. His hands already making wonders that your own could never. Or the sight of his sheer size; he's big, you wonder if he'll even fit all the way, so he prepares you. Fingers slip in and out, limbs trembling as he works you through your climax and orgasm. Makes you forget about everything, about not being cared for before about all the pain that was your life before he showed up with his acts of service and unyielding protection. No one ever truly cared for you the way John did. No man could ever come close to him.

"John..." you moan his name, lips parted. "Please."

He wastes no time and he's finally sliding inside you. Blue eyes never leaving yours. And he's fucked. He has been for a long time, the moment he saw you. The first time you smiled at him.

His body shudders at the sensation of you swallowing him whole, not being able to think of anything else than being consumed by the woman on top of him. He wants you not just for today but for eternity. Another heated kiss when you're both nearing the end. A muttered promise to love you, a lone tear and soft graze of his hands as you come undone.

Falling apart together, deep breaths and mumbles of soft nothings into each other's arms. You trace his lips as he tries to even his ragged breathing. The faintest sheen of sweat that pearls his body.

"This isn't so bad."

John smirks.

"Not at all, love. Not at all."

[crepesuzette2023]

I dont think I've ever heard the take that girl seems to be about Paul, I mean, it makes sense absolutely, but can you expand some more?

Gladly, Anon.

Rob Sheffield (Dreaming the Beatles) said he thinks Girl is about Paul in this episode of @anotherkindofmindpod. The episode is actually an in-depth discussion of In My Life, but Girl came up a number of times, since it's also on Rubber Soul.

I thought Sheffield's statement was interesting, and not in a silly “John saw Paul as a girl” kind of way.

Summarizing mercilessly, and taking a few steps back before returning to Girl:

RS argues that Rubber Soul marks a moment when the Beatles’ songwriting moved from a commercial/craft perspective towards a more open/confessional/personal tone, In My Life being an example of this, with John examining his feelings for all his friends and lovers, and singling out a new kind of love that transcends the loves he’s known before. According to RS and the hosts, In My Life is not only addressed to Paul (I personally feel it could also be about Julian, or about both; as someone who writes, I really feel the “a piece of art is never about just one thing” argument)— it also, by summoning a group of dear people and openly expressing his feelings for them, emulates Paul, who, in John’s eyes, is the more extrovert and socially comfortable of the two. The song is a two-fold tribute.

Girl, still according to RS, forms a matched pair with In My Life, because it, too, concerns complex and intimate emotions; in this case being unsettled by a complex, alluring and confusing person (Paul/the girl). It's a non-generic, specific, highly personal song you wouldn't have found on earlier albums. (You Won’t See Me is Paul’s reply to John.)

Whether you agree with these interpretations or not (by the way, instead of trusting my summary, it’s probably a better idea to listen to RS and the hosts in their own words), I’m happy to see the acknowledgment of the depth of John and Paul's relationship.

RS also makes a beautiful point about If I Fell (which, as we know, John saw as a continuation of In My Life): That John and Paul, as always, tell the truth about each other by the way they sing together.

(Cue the If I Fell/marriage vows quote from Gould’s Beatles bio).

Ian Leslie (no introduction needed) was more direct in his “Hidden Gems” episode on @onesweetdreampodcast. He stated he believes that If I Fell was written for Paul, commemorating their Paris ‘honeymoon’.

And look—people are free to go as far as they want in how they interpret all this, but I personally feel it liberates and elevates the discussion of their songwriting and relationships to include the romantic love or friendship or X or [redacted] or 'tender and tempestuous' but ‘not sexual as far as we know’ relationship between John and Paul as one of its many possible inspirations.

It just feels silly to me to ignore it or act all offended at the mere suggestion.

And when RS writes in Dreaming the Beatles “For John, Paul was the boy who came to stay; for Paul, John was the song he couldn’t make better,” it just feels right.

My two cents.

P.S. When I'm inclined to accept that Girl is about Paul, I immediately want to ask follow-up questions. Because this is a song about a fraught relationship, right? In what sense did John try to leave Paul? In what sense did Paul promise him the earth and cry? I know it doesn't have to be literally true, but some extrapolation, please? This didn't happen in the episode—obviously, since its focus was another song, In My Life. PPS: I wrote this in a bit of a hurry so feel free to get back to me for clarifications, etc.

[kitkat-writes-stuff]

The Worst- Part II

part I, part II -Masterlist -Pairing: Luke Castellan x fem!Reader -Wordcount: 1.2 K (we are getting to a decent amount bois)

-Warnings: a broken nose, kids training to be soldiers, kids feeling like their duty is more important than their feelings (only hinted to), kids being oblivious… a lot of kids -Also putting this here bc it will already be a flop: i decided that i'm gonna accept requests for imagines! ''the worst'' will be two more parts long (four in total), and I already have a oneshot planned, but I can honestly use some inspo so hit me with your fantasies darlings

-Summary: Clarisse la Rue loves her sister dearly, don’t get her wrong. But there is only so many “I hate him so much” that a girl can listen to without wanting to punch someone

In the midst of the crowded training grounds, Y/N's exasperated proclamation reverberated through the air, echoing the sentiment of her frustration, and even making a few heads turn "I hate him! Like, if I had access to a phone, the first thing I would do would be slandering him on Twitter." Her words hung in the air, punctuated by the rhythmic sounds of her laboured breaths, a testament to the emotional intensity of the moment. It was meant to be a normal training session, but here they were.

The training grounds, typically the cherished domain of Clarisse, witnessed an unexpected twist as she extended an invitation for her sister to partake in the martial exercises. Little did they anticipate that this seemingly innocuous decision would unfold like a tragic tale, akin to the consequences of staring into the eyes of the mythical Gorgon, Medusa.

Contrary to what her laid back usual behavior could have people believe, Y/N wielded not just competent but formidable fighting skills, and perhaps even more than that, although she chose to downplay her own prowess. She really needed an ego boost, poor girl.

 Surprisingly, Clarisse, typically known for her brazen attitude, found herself offering advice on channelling pent-up anger, creating a paradox within their dynamic.

"Look, I can't believe I, of all people, am saying this, but you need to get out some pent-up anger," Clarisse urged, her eyes locking with Y/N's, a glint of determination reflecting in both their eyes. Y/N might have had the experience and the sheer strength as an advantage, but Clarisse was not one to go one without a fight.

In response, Y/N met her sister's gaze, revealing a distinct red glint in her eyes that bore the weight of their divine lineage, a visual and rather unsettling reminder of their connection to the god of war.

"Says the girl who tried to dunk a twelve-year-old's head in a toilet," Y/N retorted, unearthing an incident that had yet to be addressed between the two.

Undeterred, Clarisse countered with a potent argument, "Says the girl who loudly threatened to cut off a fellow head counsellor's fingers," opting for a strategic move to deflect Y/N's accusation.

Their swords clashed in the midst of this verbal sparring, the resonating sound capturing the attention of onlookers within the camp. Despite Clarisse's unwavering determination, even she couldn't deny that in a direct confrontation with Y/N, her sister held the upper hand, boasting both strength and exceptional skill. Well, Clarisse wasn’t the one who had devoted her life to beat another guy at sword fighting, so...

"He was tickling me," Y/N grunted in her defence, attempting to justify the seemingly drastic threat she had made.

With an eye roll, Clarisse retorted with a smirk, "Somehow, someway, darling sister, I find myself believing that you would much rather prefer for his fingers to be on you more, not less." A friend in Aphrodites’ cabin had her watching Pride and Prejudice. She might or might not have picked up on the language.

The verbal exchange evolved into a physical intensity, with Y/N delivering each blow without restraint, unveiling a relentless determination that hinted at a deeper conflict brewing beneath the surface of their sibling rivalry. The air pulsated with a charged energy, making it abundantly clear that this training session was more than a mere exercise: they might have been sisters, but their father only chose one favourite every generation. And there was only so far sisterly love could go when compared to the approval of the god of war. 

In the aftermath of the tumultuous clash that reverberated within the expansive training grounds, Clarisse found herself holding an ice pack to her nose, attempting to salvage some semblance of composure despite a burning pain. Y/N's apologetic words resonated in the air, "Clary, you know I didn’t mean to actually like... break your nose, right?" Clarisse couldn't help but reflect on the irony that her usually death-promising gaze might have been far more menacing if not for the ice pack an Apollo kid had provided.

It was a stark realisation for Clarisse—one thing to possess a temper worthy of Ares, the god of war, but an entirely different ordeal to have her nose inadvertently shattered by her crush-stricken big sister. Oh yeah, Clarisse knew about the crush. And if it fueled her sister like that… she needed to express it somehow.

Amidst the physical discomfort and emotional tumult, Clarisse couldn't ignore the revelation that had dawned upon her, independent of any disclosure from a certain daughter of Aphrodite (yeah Silena was the only reason she understood anything about social life). The truth became undeniably clear: all those seemingly vehement words of hatred were mere echoes of a deeper connection. Well, Eros and Thanatos were brothers or something, so it wasn’t a surprised that an emotion as deep as… the L word… could be mistaken for a hate as deep as the Underworld.

But the realisation didn't stop there. Clarisse delved into the motives behind Y/N's persistent obsession with surpassing Luke Castellan. Y/N was relentlessly driven to excel, that was for sure, but… that quest for superiority might have been an unspoken method to spend more time with him. She was good at expressing feelings like that. Her nose was a witness, or rather had been before it got shattered.

As the narrative unfolded, an unexpected player stepped into the intricate story: Luke Castellan, best friend to a daughter of Athena. Of all goddesses, Athena? His arrival injected a fresh layer of complexity into an already intricate tapestry. Y/N's pouted plea for forgiveness resonated in the charged atmosphere, and though Clarisse couldn't suppress an eye roll, a reluctant nod escaped her. Temper or not, she acknowledged that familial bonds, no matter how tumultuous, possessed a resilience that transcended momentary conflicts, solidifying the intricate strands of their sisterhood within the dynamic of Camp Half-Blood.

However, the scene took an unexpected turn as Luke Castellan entered, his eyes widening at the sight of blood on Y/N's clothes. "What happened here?" he inquired, concern etched on his face. He didn’t even try to hide it! Gods, had she really been that blind?

Caught in the unfolding drama, Clarisse, with an air of suspicion, eyed Luke. "Y/N accidentally broke my nose. You care or something?"

As Luke rushed to deny it, Clarisse couldn't shake the inkling that perhaps there was more to his worry than mere friendship. The charged atmosphere hinted at an unspoken connection, and Clarisse couldn’t help but wonder if that boy was really as dumb as he was sounding right now.

‘’Okay, I’m gonna go, Clary. I think Chiron will have some kind of punishment to deliver to me’’ ever dutiful, ever penitent Y/N. She might have wanted her father’s approval, but it came second to following the laws.

Clarisse didn’t know a lot of Latin, but she was sure that ‘’dura lex, sed lex’’ was something that could be applied to her big sister.

She just hoped that it wouldn’t conflict with her emotions, because seriously, there was only a number of noses she could get broken and of ‘’he’s the worst’’ that she could hear.

A/N: OK WE DID IT!!!! Srs though thank you for the support it was really unexpected. Ok so thoughts and prayers for Clarisse’s nose! Also I couldn’t resist making the reader hint at Twitter bc Ares talking about it in the show has me screaming crying and laughing. That’s all! Next part will be out… eventually. Taglist: @2hiigh2cry @mxtokko @niktwazny303 @honey-ambrosia @luvvfromme @lostinhisworld (that should be all but i might have forgotten someone! If i did please forgive me and make my crucifixion fast)(also lemme know if you want to be tagged in the next parts)

[ananke-xiii]

What about Cas? pt. 1

I love when Sam and Dean fight and the reason why they fight is Cas. I love it for two main reasons.

One, Dean's quick-fire brain is at its best in these instances. One mention of Cas and Dean goes all pew-pew-pew on basically anybody and everybody calls his bluff. Crowley, of course, knew. Even Naomi knew. Lucifer fucking knew it. Well, everybody but Sam.

Two, these fights conveniently happen when Sam is going through his own shit (and doesn't know how to deal with it) to care about his brother's emotional state, making it even more painfully obvious that he severely lacks emotional intelligence/recognition skills. It's "Sam knows and doesn't know" at its best.

I've talked about how the "It’s not an “it,” Sam. It’s Cas" scene in s11 is an interesting example of Dean's rhetoric skills: that man can be on the losing side and still win an argument without breaking a sweat. Sam, on the other hand, not so much. He has a tendency to hyperfocus on one thing and lose sight of the plethora of other things he might need to be looking at.

As a consequence, Dean looks like the one with the heart, the one who cares, the one who's right, while Sam looks shallow, cold and even callous. However, as I've written multiple times, it's a matter of skills, therefore of abilities. Of what one can and the other can't.

So what about Cas?

"What about Cas?" is the first thing Sam says in "Lost and Found" to try and address what happened outside that cabin. With the unmistakable Sam's mark of elegant tact (I love him, he is me) he goes "What about Cas? Is he - is he really dead?" after they've just seen their friend getting skewered by Lucifer in front of their very eyes. To be fair to him, Cas has that thing, you know, that thing that he dies and then comes back. Plus, Sam's sense of what's real and what's not is... something to talk about. However, my heart feels for his total inability to read the room, or, well, the Impala: only 5 seconds before Dean couldn't even say the words "Cas is dead" ("Crowley’s dead, Kelly’s dead, Cas is—") and the best thing Sam can come up with is "Hey Dean, what do you think? Is Cas REALLY DEAD, UH?". Oh, Sam.

Throughout the episode Sam's still unsure whether Cas is permadead or not: at first he's got doubts, then Dean tells him that that's final. So he confirms Cas' death to Jack. However, when they're about to make the pyre for his body, Sam has some second thoughts: maybe they can bring him back. Dean is peremptory: "No we can't".

In "The Rising Son" Sam and Dean have a minor fight over Jack and his powers because he accidentally hurt the tattoo artist:

Sam: It was a reflex. He didn’t do it on purpose. Dean: Who cares if he didn’t do it on purpose? He did it. I mean, you didn’t see Cas smiting someone every time he got his teeth cleaned. Jack: I’m right here, you know. Dean: Yeah, and what about the vanishing tattoo? Donatello: An archangel healed himself. Sam: Another reflex. Dean: Or maybe he didn’t want to be warded. Sam: Okay, look, yeah, Jack is on Lucifer’s family tree. But we don’t know if that DNA is stronger than Kelly’s, or his connection with Cas. Dean: Oh, you mean the connection that got Cas killed?

I like this dialogue because, once again just like that scene in S11 that I've linked above, Dean's laying his cards on the table. A Crowley or a Lucifer wouldn't have missed that. Sam does.

Dean's the one who's brought Cas up. He explicitily (and unfairly) compares Jack with Cas. Jack hurt people while Cas, his Cas, wouldn't (Oh, Dean you're so wrong my precious baby boy, Cas would hurt people and he's actually done so multiple times and you know it: power imbalance between humans and angels is just what it is, on purpose or not, it's a fact). Dean's also the one who recognizes Jack's real "problem", i.e. he's also an angel, an extremely powerful one at that and his power's an issue.

Sam, however, is the one who brings Lucifer up. He acknowledges Jack's connection with him, Kelly and Cas. Big, BIG mistake. Sam unwittingly turns the knife in Dean's wound, although Dean's mention of Cas before was a huge red flag that Sam completely missed.

This might just be my interpretation but I think that Dean's unconscious eagerness to bring Cas up in any argument reveals his desire to talk about what happened, to vent his anger, to test the waters and see if Sam's on the same page as he is. He's not.

And I think Sam's got a right to be on a different page because this is what S12 was all about: while Dean had found his closure with Mary and had started to see himself as Cas' partner (I've talked about this in my spn s12 tags), Sam's still very much behind. He didn't put in the effort with Mary while Eileen, the one person outside of family Sam's got a connection with (excluding Rowena whom he doesn't trust yet) got brutally murdered by Ketch. Sam and Dean can't possibly be on the same page. Supernatural teaches us that when connections break things are bound to explode.

The dialogue continues:

Sam: I’m just saying, Jack doesn’t have to be evil. We can teach him not to be. [...] Donatello: Oh. Speaking not as a prophet but as a scientist, I don’t think teaching him is in the cards.It’s like asking a lion not to be a lion. Sam: But this is not a lion! This is a human! Donatello: With a strong dose of God juice. Dean: Okay, that’s it. I’m done, all right? ‘Cause he’s not God, he’s not Cas, he’s not Simba. He’s the friggin’ Devil!

That's it, Dean's done. The reason? Jack is not Cas. He throws that "he's not Cas" right in the middle, suspiciously hiding the importance of his statement: the techinque is so blatant that, as it turns out, he couldn't be clearer.

Talking on being on the same page:

Sam: Point is… if you and I are gonna do this, keep Jack on the right side of things, then—then we have to be on the same page. Dean: Okay. Well, that’s the problem, though, Sam, ‘cause we’re not on the same page. Like, at all. Sam: All right. You know what? I know what’s going on here. Dean: Oh. Okay. Well, please, tell me, what’s going on here? Sam: You thinking mom is gone and Cas is gone, and that Jack can’t be saved. Dean, after everything we’ve gone through… We just lost people we love, people who have been in our lives for a long time. Everything’s upside-down. I get it. But we’ve been down before. I mean, rock bottom. And we find a way. We fix it because that’s what we do. And Jack w—wants to do the right thing. Jack’s scared to death of who he is, and he’s scared of you.

As I've said, Dean had tested the waters to see if he and Sam were on the same page but he quickly realizes they're not. Sam claims that he knows what's going on and Dean sort of dares him to spill the beans. Poor Sam is wrong againg because the "you" in "you thinking that..." is actually him, not Dean. Sam's projecting his own fears onto Dean (Is Mom gone? Will I ever have a connection with her? Can Jack be saved? Is Cas really gone?). He starts and ends his little speech with that "you" but he clearly doesn't get what Dean's deal is.

Dean's deal is not just whether he thinks Cas and Mary are really gone and Jack can or can't be saved. Dean's deal is about what happened before Cas died and, more specifically, about what didn't happen. He'll reveal his cards, like he always does because that's what Dean does, he wears his heart on his sleeve, in the following episode.

[plusvanity]

To make this clear, Old Mayhem and me NEVER attacked one another.

There's no animosity going on between me and her. Although in the same 'fandom', our blogs exist separately and don't overlap. This doesn't mean hatred. This simply means a different public. The effort that me and her seems to put in the content that we create is massive, so as I said before, I will say I again, be a decent person and don't spread misinformation about what my dynamic between me and her is like. Also, don't spread hateful messages in anyone's inbox about how 'shit their art is' or 'how dare you not like this blog??' Because you NEVER know if the person who reads it has s*****e thoughts and the LAST THING that they read is your spiteful message. It happened with me before, and I wouldn't wish this feeling even on the worst people in my life.

This is all I had to say regarding Old Mayhem.

Now, I want to address the real issue who's name I didn't mention until now, Kelma 69, the one blog who's proud description is 'Getting rid of weird Mayhem fans, mostly from Pelle's fans'.

I don't even have to add anything about this description, her malicious 'witch hunt' intentions are more than obvious and the fact that I seem to be her number one target is sending a shiver down my spine.

I don't have an issue with people who block me and move on with their lives, this is normal, it's expected. But I have an issue with someone who blocks me and keeps endlessly talking about me with every chance they've got, so I want to ask her why?

I never interacted with her before, yet she comes across so vicious about my art and fiction for seemingly no reason other than envy.

Of cause that you're entitled to your own opinion, of course that you don't have to like me, this is absolutely alright, but you should assume your words instead of hiding behind blogs that had been here long before you or 'adjusting' your statements to how it seems more convenient for you.

Calling my art 'crap', than saying 'I'm not insulting the artist' is blatantly lying with proofs on her own page.

Also, the fact that she was both following me and my other artist friends, liking our 'Vargelle' fanarts until someone brought this to her attention and she suddenly blocked me and my friends is a 'getting caught' behaviour. I can understand that she may had liked those fanarts because of Pelle's design, as she mentioned at one point, but some of those drawings didn't even had Pelle's face in it, so how does this work? She also liked fanarts of Varg (alone) even if she hates Varg more than anything, so was this for his 'design' too? Is it?

Also, her parasitic tendency to accociate herself with Old Mayhem to seem relevant, to gain attention and admiration denote very evident deceiving and manipulating tactics.

Another aspect of her double-faced behaviour is the fact that she presents herself as 'shy' when she has no problem whatsoever getting rid of what might step out of her appreciation area. Shyness doesn't come with blunt insults and a covert need for conflict and drama. Shy people doesn't seek reactions, they don't go out to hate on people to boost up their ego and shy people DON'T throw the 'you just play the victim' card whenever they can't find solid arguments against their accusation.

Is calling out someone's falsehood the equivalent of 'playing' the victim? Is this the way to wash your hands clean from taking responsibility?

The fact that you won't allow a conversation to take place and once you consider that 'you're done playing your game' you pull out, just shows how unwilling you are to recognise what you've done.

I hope everyone can leave behind this senseless drama. I'm so sick and tired talking like a broken record about these things.

Live and let live. There's so much to do in life other than being angry about fiction, trust me.

[redbayly]

Had to do another rambling because some Antis got their panties in a twist.

After posting my very clearly tagged Zutara headcanons last night, I saw a post in the Zutara tag this morning where some Antis were ranting about their usual nonsense.

I would've just blocked and moved on, but something caught my attention about the post. I realized what they were talking about was very likely a reference to my post from last night.

I don't remember all the details (I did end up blocking them), but the crux of their complaint was that Zutara shippers steal Kataang dynamics or something. Specifically, they were calling out a recent post about Katara and Zuko traveling around helping people (which I talked a lot about in my post, so that's why I think it was me they were calling out) and that that is exclusively a Kataang thing that I stole and applied to Zutara. Also, someone in the comments had added that, if Zuko ever did go around helping people it would only be with Mai.

There was also a lot of whining about seeing Zutara stuff when they were looking for Kataang. As if I hadn't clearly tagged my post as Zutara and even used the word within the first few sentences to let the reader know what the post was about.

(For pity's sake, moderate your tags or skip over something with a tag you don't like! It's not difficult!).

But back to the main argument that Zuko and Katara wouldn't travel around helping people together and that that is exclusive to Kataang.

That is absolute bullshit.

First off, it was a headcanon of mine and I can headcanon what I damn well please (as can everybody else).

Secondly, what even is that argument they were making? Did they completely ignore the fact that both Zuko and Katara are good-hearted, helpful people who are trying to make the world a better place? We see numerous instances in canon of them helping others for the sole reason that it's just their nature to do so. In fact, if anything, they are more likely to seek out people to help out of pure altruism than Aang, who usually just sort of stumbles across people in trouble and helps because it's his job as Avatar.

(I'm not insulting Aang. I'm just saying that he's more likely to goof off and avoid getting involved in something if he thinks it's not serious enough, whereas Katara and Zuko are more likely to leap at opportunities to be helpful).

A third reason this is ridiculous is that Aang doesn't own a monopoly on doing good or helping the world. Zuko was already planning to make changes to heal the damage the Fire Nation caused. He's an "idealist with a pure heart and unquestionable honor." Do the Antis really think he would sit around on his ass while there are orphans to feed and towns to rebuild and justice to be restored? Also, why would Katara not be out there doing her all to help the world regardless of whether Aang is involved or not? Katara "never turns her back on people who need [her]" so I doubt she'd let anyone decide for her whether she travels around to fix people's problems.

I could go on and on about why this Anti-Zutara argument was stupid, but I've addressed the main points.

So, I'll say this one last time. If you dislike Zutara, read the damn tags and avoid the post you don't want to see. Don't whine about it and make up nonsensical arguments for your faux outrage. Leave Zutara shippers alone and let us have our headcanons.

You already got your ship in Bryke's canon. Just let us enjoy our headcanons in peace.

[sunniedesi]

In Defense of Future Diary...

TW: lots of yapping.

Making a small essay for Future Diary is something I’ve been meaning to do for a while. Since my entire blog is dedicated to the series, it only feels right to put something like this out into the ether. However, I’m never sure of the topics that I want to discuss the most. Do I write a defense for the show? My reasons for loving it so much? Its relevance and importance for anime culture? An analysis of Yuno’s character? There’s so much I feel you could say, but I never find the right words to express my feelings coherently. Today, I’ll make the attempt, though. I’ll go over all of the aforementioned questions here, mostly focusing on my personal opinions and feelings regarding the show. I don’t have much experience writing essays or analyses of media, so sorry in advance if my yapping is all over the place.

To begin, I should probably address the elephant in the room: Future Diary, despite its popularity and almost cult-classic status, has turned into a show people love to hate. You see it everywhere, when it comes to reviews, comments, opinion pieces, you name it, if it has Future Diary on the title, people will let you know all the gripes they have with the show. And while I tend to feel defensive or even saddened when I see so much hatred directed at my favorite show… I don’t necessarily blame anyone for feeling that way. I don’t want to be one of those people who pretends to hold the intellectual high-ground, acting as if everyone else is media-illiterate and I’m the one who truly gets the meaning of the series. At the end of the day, it’s just an anime, it’s not that deep. Everyone’s gonna like what they like; we all have different tastes and interests, so it’s only natural we all hold such different opinions about the show, especially given its campy, gory and almost edgy nature. Future Diary is definitely a product of early 2000’s trends, which some people (me lol) appreciate, and others certainly don’t.

That being said, while I respect people disliking the show for personal reasons, there are certain criticisms I see thrown its way that are not necessarily warranted. These issues can be boiled down to the following categories: “plot-holes,” a weak protagonist and toxic pairings. I’ll delve into all of these in a second, but I must say, the amount of times I’ve seen these specific points parroted over and over again makes me believe that many of the people making these arguments are piggybacking off of one another. It’s almost like they’re following a trend, repeating how the protagonist “sucks ass” and that the plot makes zero sense, without showing any examples as to how. 

It’s really common to find shallow arguments like those in comments sections and forums, but since I don’t want to feel like I’m barking up a tree in writing this essay, I decided to look for a source that encapsulated all of the common criticisms, while also backing them up with examples. Now, there are many good video essays out there on Future Diary, my personal favorite is by The Hot Box. But as far as critical pieces go, the one I found that goes the most in-depth is by the creator NezumiVA, titled: Mirai Nikki is Garbage, and Here’s Why. I’ll be referencing the video as I go along, but please note that while I disagree with many of this creator’s arguments, I don’t intend this to be a personal attack. As I said earlier, we’re all entitled to our different tastes and opinions, I can respect them disliking the series while having my own criticisms to give regarding the video. Just a little disclaimer so my intentions aren’t misconstrued here. 

With that out of the way, let’s take a deeper look into the main three arguments I mentioned before:

“The plot-holes eat up the show”

If you’ve been in the fandom for a while, you know that this is probably one of the most common criticisms levied towards Future Diary, and perhaps the one that holds the most weight. Or at least it would be, if it weren’t for the fact that “plot-holes” aren’t exactly the issue people are pointing at here. To explain, I believe people who dish out this claim all have different understandings of the definition of “plot-hole,” so to clarify: a plot-hole is an inconsistency, a contradiction in the narrative. For example, Yuno’s diary is all about Yukki, if she were to have diary entries not about him, that could be considered a plot-hole, as it contradicts the original narrative. A smaller detail being unexplained or overlooked for the sake of pacing is not a plot-hole. A flaw, yes, but as long as it doesn’t contradict what’s already been established in the story, it’s not a plot-hole. 

On one hand, it is true that there are certain Deus Ex Machina moments that aren’t properly explained in the show (heck, the god of this universe is called that for a reason), such as: how does 5th acquire all of his booby traps? Or where did 9th pull that motorcycle from? Why are characters so quick to forgive/forget certain events? These are smaller details that aren’t properly justified on-screen for the sake of pacing and making the show more interesting. You could possibly count this more as a case of poor characterization, particularly with 5th’s character having a lot of knowledge despite his age or Hinata quickly accepting the coin toss challenge despite having an advantage. Given the show only has 26 episodes, it’s only natural that detailed explanations for smaller details are omitted to make the show flow quicker and be more entertaining. While this may bother some people, I don’t find it to be such a big deal, or at least not a reason to dogpile on the show, when many other animes with shorter runtime fall victim to poor characterization as well. 

Many deem the plot nonsensical for missing these smaller explanations, but again, I find that exaggerated as they’re much, much trivial details that the majority of people don’t think of or focus on when watching the show. The video I referenced touches on the plot being illogical several times, not necessarily mentioning plot-holes per se, but complaining that many of the justifications behind certain plot points are unrealistic or contrived, though let’s be real here… since when is anime realistic? Future Diary, I would argue, does a good job of balancing very unrealistic scenarios with some realistic characters (like Yukki, but we’ll get into that later), which is what makes it interesting to watch. After all, what’s the fun in watching a fantasy show if it’s completely grounded in reality? Not to mention that many of the points brought up in the video aren’t contrived, especially if you were paying attention to the show. For example, the scene of Yuno meditating to figure out Reisuke’s plan. This wasn’t a Deus Ex Machina moment, it was foreshadowing of the fact she has her first-world memories locked away, and the meditation was her trying to access those memories. Same thing with Bacchus having an overpowered diary, it isn’t for the sake of it, he literally designed it to be that way, because he was the one who presented the idea of the diaries to Deus in the first place.

I’m getting a little side-tracked here, but you get the point. Ultimately, the worst sin a show can commit is being boring, and while Future Diary has its flaws in pacing and characterization, it contributes in keeping the viewers hooked to the action, packing its small run of 26 episodes with quite a bit of entertainment. Moreover, a lot of people overreact to these so-called “plot-holes”, yet they also fail to pay attention as to why things happen as they do in the show. Many of these criticisms can be summed up as either: trivial details that are omitted since they have little relevance to the plot and/or people not paying attention to what’s going on. 

Moving on, let’s tackle another very, very popular argument:

“Yukiteru is a total pushover (to put it nicely).” 

This is, without a doubt, the most common criticism I’ve seen people have of the show. I’m not sure if this is because people are used to the upbeat, overpowered protagonist trope in anime, but people don’t realize that Yukki being frustrating, awkward and terrified is an important part of the show’s storytelling, not to mention relatively unique. Very rarely do we see a realistic portrayal of a teenage protagonist in anime, and it is important for the show since it serves as a contrast to the other characters, all dark, callous and obsessed with the goal of becoming a God. Yukki is the only character not interested in any of this at the beginning. All he wanted was to escape reality with his phone and imaginary friends, and he's now thrusted into this terrible and hopeless situation. How exactly is a young boy expected to react under these circumstances? 

Teenagers are naive, dumb, selfish, all characteristics portrayed in Yukiteru, and these characteristics are put under scrutiny by every one of the diary owners, constantly telling him to grow a pair and stop using Yuno. This is easier said than done when you’re used to avoiding every little bit of responsibility in your life, and a girl who’s self-reportedly “crazy good at killing people” suddenly thrusts into your life ready to do all the work for you. Yukki is indeed a very flawed character, but that isn’t an accident, it is an intentional addition. It’s what makes him interesting; it pushes conflict into the show, and most importantly, drives home one of the main lessons of the show with Yukki’s development: fear doesn’t mean you’re not brave, it’s having that fear and pushing forward that makes you brave. A little corny, I know, but a valuable lesson for the Survival Game. 

Every character has an incentive for becoming God, and they’re utterly consumed by it to the point of insanity. Even a character like 4th, who was originally concerned with the goal of bringing order and justice rather than more carnage to the game gets carried away when a proper incentive for God’s seat comes into play: saving his son. In a Survival Game where we're surrounded by the most cunning and twisted of characters, killers, terrorists, people in corrupt positions of power, Yukki stands out like a sore thumb for retaining his humanity throughout it all, unwilling to get his hands dirty, rather willing to see hope in everyone else. It comes across as naive and all-too trusting. This is especially true for his father, but considering how little people he has to rely on, plus his childish hopes of seeing his family back together, his forgiveness towards him makes sense. And the same can be said for Yuno, the one constant he’s got all throughout the game. Despite the abuse and manipulation, she’s ultimately got his best interests at heart, but I’m getting ahead of myself with this point.

Eventually, the circumstances that Yukki goes through (namely his parents’ death) put that humanity, kindness and mercy, the staples of his personality, to test. It’s a testament to how desperate situations can corrupt even the most innocent of individuals. Yukiteru goes from a hopeful individual to a callous killer, no different from Yuno and equally as selfish. Similarly enough, we know thanks to her third-world-self that Yuno was originally a normal, happy girl with the hopes of finally having a loving family taking care of her. All of this, to then be tortured by the people who were supposed to bring that peaceful family life to her. 

Yukki being a weakling may be frustrating to some, it is certainly brought up many times during the video essay, but it’s an important factor that drives the plot and many of Future Diary’s lessons about growth and accountability. Besides, the anime certainly wouldn’t be as interesting to watch if every character was just an OP know-it-all like Akise. Which no hate to him, but the show wouldn’t be the same if every character were like him.

And speaking of Akise, I’ll take the opportunity to mention a point in the video essay that bothered me a bit. The creator says the show is “queerbaiting” with his character, because Akise’s attraction towards Yukki is forced, but I don’t see exactly how this is queerbaiting. Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t queerbaiting when a character is insinuated to be gay, yet it’s kept ambiguous enough to never address it? The show straight-up explains the reason behind Akise’s attraction to Yukki. His love is forced because it was created by Deus to further his investigation about Yukki and Yuno. Akise himself is a fabrication of Deus. It is literally explained in episode 23. You can’t bait the audience into believing a character is gay if you explicitly tell the audience the character is gay lol.

But that’s one of the smaller issues I had with the video’s criticisms. My biggest gripes were actually the following: at the beginning of the essay, this creator talks about how many of the plot points in the show are contrived and illogical, but at the same time, they dislike the characters having tragic backstories that explain how they went on to become twisted individuals. Isn’t it a little contradictory that you complain about a character acting unnatural, yet when the explanation for their behavior comes up, you completely disregard it? They go as far as to say Esuno hates women and is misogynistic for his portrayal of female psychosis, and the use of SA as a tragic backstory being distasteful. Because, according to this creator, people who have been victimized never go on to become terrible people themselves, and that this is a “problematic stereotype.” 

To say that this worldview is incredibly simplistic and naive is putting it mildly. Being a victim doesn’t exempt you from the capability of hurting others, and in fact, the opposite is often true. Hurt people hurt people, that is another main theme in Future Diary, and one of the things I love about it so much. It doesn’t make its characters victims of terrible situations for the sake of pitying them, but to portray their natural descent into madness from being corrupted by a cruel and unrelenting world. Yuno, Yukki, Minene, Tsubaki, these characters all started out as normal until life turned them into the nihilistic monsters they became. They’re morally gray, an example of what you can become when your ethics and moral worldview is tested by society so many times, it ultimately turns you into a societal outcast. Which only makes it funnier that one of the questions asked in the video is “are we supposed to like these characters?” Yes and no, that’s the fun of writing morally gray characters.

I often see these takes with people who fail to understand that the portrayal of something in media ≠ endorsement. It’s the crux of people who lack media literacy, the failure to understand morally gray or just straight up evil characters as protagonists. The media itself isn’t telling you to repeat their actions, it is an exploration of how these actions manifest in the first place, a cautionary tale, if you will. I know that having evil or twisted protagonists isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but to accuse the story or the author of malicious intent would be completely missing the point of the story’s purpose. Not to mention, that it is important for stories like this to exist, to put us in the shoes of those who enact harm, to understand why they do it and keep us from becoming like them.

The show doesn’t justify any of their actions, in fact, it often shows them for what they are: twisted and morally corrupt; it is on the characters themselves to bear the burdens of these actions. A clear example of this is the confrontation that Yukki has with his friends nearing the end of episode 22. It is probably one of my favorite scenes in the entire show: Yukki being forced to face all of his demons at once, realizing just how much damage he has caused, damage that he later has to mend in his final confrontation with Yuno to finally put an end to everyone’s suffering. It is dense, crude, and it is certainly necessary for both him and Yuno. 

Funnily enough, this youtuber goes on to say the following about Yuno’s background: “I really don’t care what her (back)story pans out to look like… her actions are still not excusable.” Which is true, just because someone was abused doesn’t justify them perpetuating the same abuse later. However, they then crush their own point by claiming that Yuno’s obsessions started all because of “a passing conversation.” I guess they weren’t lying when they said that they didn’t care about Yuno’s backstory… because chalking up her obsession as solely a result of that scene is completely disregarding her background. That conversation in the classroom did start Yuno’s fixation towards Yukki, but it is not the root of her obsessive tendencies. Yuno herself believes it to be, but this is an idea that is squandered by Yukki in his final confrontations with her. Moreover, if you paid attention to her backstory, you would understand it is all due to her childhood neglect. And similarly, Yukki’s attraction towards Yuno stems from this as well.

This brings me to the final criticism:

“Yuno and Yukki’s relationship is problematic, toxic and makes no sense.”

There is no denying that Yuno and Yukki start out as an incredibly toxic and troublesome pairing, using each other for their own selfish wants instead of working with each other. This is the Achilles heel in their dynamic, and it is often the cause of their troubles. Yuno acts impulsive, unstable and manipulative towards Yukki due to her insecurities and debilitating obsession, while Yukki pushes all responsibility to Yuno due to his own lack of a spine. They hurt each time and time again, yet they can’t help but be with each other. And this is because, in a twisted way, they compliment each other. 

On one hand, we have a social outcast, ignored by everyone including his family, visibly alone and afraid of being hurt by others, but still seeing the best in people. Then on the other hand, we have a popular girl from a prominent family, visibly perfect, but in reality just as alone due to abuse she experiences at home, making her view people as fundamentally cruel. On the outside they’re opposites, but deep down, they’re both lonely, and terrified of said loneliness. It is only when they meet, when Yukki shows her the kindness she was missing for years and when Yuno gives him the support he had always craved, that they fulfill each other’s needs. By becoming acquainted with Yuno and the Survival Game, Yukki becomes increasingly darker, eventually maturing at the end of the show, while Yukki awakens Yuno’s empathy and pulls her back from the darkness, as we see when she falters to hurt third-world Yuno and her parents. 

Their complementary personalities are even referenced by their diaries, which only work seamlessly if paired. They balance each other out perfectly, bringing out the best of each other, but only after learning to push back on their worst characteristics, which is also true for real-life relationships. In truth, just like these two, people are flawed, traumatized and generally toxic to one another. There’s no such thing as people or relationships that start out perfect from the get-go, they need to learn to grow together. 

In that sense, this is what makes the ending of the show so powerful to me. Yukki isn’t set on killing Yuno or becoming God anymore. He’s finally taking responsibility, coming to terms with the awful deeds he’s done, and the fact that he can’t undo them. Instead, he wants to help Yuno come to terms with her own demons, finally giving back to her what she needs and not something for his own benefit. Similarly, Yuno realizes just how off the deep-end she’s gone when she meets her past self, acknowledging that she’s lost her original goal, and that repeating the cycle of hurt won’t fix her already broken spirit. That world isn’t for her, and so she finally ends the hurt, giving her and Yukki the peace they need. 

Many people don’t like Redial because they see it as an undeserved Happy Ending for two awful individuals, but the way I like to see it is as a form of redemption. Both characters, in the end, do what they have to do to restore order in the world. Yukki pays for his sins in the void, finally a God but at the cost of mourning what could’ve been. First-World Yuno ends the suffering she’s putting herself through so her new self can thrive, almost akin to breaking free from her past traumas to finally heal. The new self regains those memories, not to sulk, but to build from them, going back with Yukki to start a new world that isn’t characterized by their original hurt. In a way, it's a story about how the most downtrodden of individuals can find solace in love, break from their past and learn to heal together. For me, it’s cathartic and fulfilling to watch.

To finish this lengthy post, I feel it’s appropriate to mention the importance of Future Diary’s characters, and more specifically, Yuno. The video describes her writing as shallow and contrived, but I’ve already addressed that in the previous paragraphs. Many people love chalking her up to “cRaZy YaNdErE gUrL™ 🤪​,” but she’s so, so much more than that. Her character actually has a lot of depth if you pay attention to her story: she’s a girl, an orphan who went on to be neglected by her foster father and abused by her foster mother, resulting in complex trauma, insecurities and fear of abandonment that she tries to hide and overcompensate for in her overly aggressive tendencies. Her obsession in avoiding the loss of the only person she has becomes her demise, as she lives in a loop of torment all for the sake of not being alone again, a cycle of hurt only she has the power of breaking if she finds the strength to do it. Whether it was intentional or not, Yuno portrays a lot of the issues people with mental illness, such as BPD, struggle with. 

Now, claiming that Yuno is a perfect, one-to-one representation of BPD would be reducing this disorder to a caricature, there’s obviously so much more to BPD than what you see in this portrayal. But, I feel like out of the huge list of characters that fall under the “yandere” or crazy girl trope, she’s probably one of the best written ones in anime. I know she’s often dubbed the “yandere queen,” but seriously, it’s rare to see media committing to this trope and properly characterizing it. I would go as far as to say she’s the best character I’ve seen written in this genre, only sharing that spot with another character from a certain game (but given that the mere mention of its name is enough to ensue controversy, I’ll abstain from talking about it here 🙄​). A big portion of characters within this trope are quite two-dimensional, without clear motives for their obsessions, or having their issues played up for laughs (I’m looking at you, Anna Nishikinomiya). Heck, many of the characters associated with the trope aren’t actual yanderes, like is the case for Shion Sonozaki or Lucy from Elfen Lied. 

Yuno’s character is rich and interesting to watch, she isn’t just some “crazy girl” for the sake of it. She’s a product of tragedy, only motivated by the hope of finally having Yukki alleviate all of her insecurities and sorrows. I’ve always found the “yandere” trope interesting since it delves into the lengths people are capable of going over an obsession, and how these form to begin with. Given how complex, sensitive and even personal this topic can be, it’s important to have characters like this be properly written, and I’m glad that Yuno set a standard for this back in her day, even if many people don’t take her character seriously. 

I think it’s important to close up this post repeating the sentiment I had at the beginning. My purpose in writing this defense isn’t so much to force people into liking the show, and even opinions I disagree with like the ones in NezumiVA’s video are valid in their own right, as everyone has different perspectives in interpreting media. This is simply my take as someone who’s been a fan of the show for a really long time, since I don’t see many in-depth essays for Future Diary out there. It is a show that has stuck with me for its lessons on learning to be brave, healing from the past and selfless love. As silly as it may sound talking about an anime, it’s something that I can always look back to and smile, laugh or cry along with. Despite people’s conflicting views and endless criticisms, it will never fail to have a special place in my heart. Given how much time I’ve dedicated to this series, it’s only fair I dedicated a little bit of that time explaining my love for it too. And if you made it this far down the post, I would also like to thank you for dedicating a little bit of your time to my shower thoughts as well!

[lord-angelfish]

So! This is the full argument that I made, copied word for word from the draft that I sent a dear friend of mine to proofread. This happened during the conversation with the other Bangs & Bangability mods leading up to my resignation sent in the discord server and the subsequent fallout here. I'll also include a direct transcription of the response I got to it. All under the cut because it's very long.

Regarding the earlier conversation, there are a few points I need to make with regards to the direction we seem to be heading in. To start, organizing in favor of a specific subset of participants to the detriment of another is unethical and unjust, which will make us seem and in truth be untrustworthy and unreliable in a management capacity. As stated previously, should that be the course of action taken, I will be obligated to step down and will no longer be able to participate in good faith. The reception and handling of the primary brought-upon issue (re: Wincest and incest inclusion) have been presented in a way that implies a strong personal bias amongst administration. If this was going to become a significant problem, or in the event that there were concerns with how it would affect the bang's run, it should have been addressed during the discussions and preparations before sign ups were opened to avoid false advertising and participant fallout. The point of a moderation team is that it's supposed to function as a team. Should a member of said team struggle with a personal bias or aversion to something stipulated in the rules upon sign up, yet still wanted to participate, then discussion ought to be opened up immediately. As I am someone capable and willing to handle the content prompting the aforementioned problem (re: Wincest and incest), the entire situation could have been smoothed over far sooner and with significantly more finesse. Personal boundaries can and should be set for both staff and participants, but without alienating an entire subset of participants or abandoning responsibility for said participants entirely, after already promising inclusion, safety, and accomodations for. On a personal level, fundamental to my moderation policy is that a moderator can not and should not be expected to be personally responsible for the triggers or squicks of every individual in their event or server. As a member of any given staff, one can only provide tools for each individual implement on their own to protect themselves at their own discretion. To wit, our goal should be to be able to say "We have enabled you to avoid the chat that makes you uncomfortable. It's now up to you to curate your space and stay out of conversations and spaces that upset you."

The response I got to this (transcribed directly from a screenshot and names left out to protect the privacy of the person in question) was this:

"Wow don't even. I would like to be inclusive and I did just open a dialogue with the mods, in the private mod chat, not in the middle of the fucking server. And if you read back, you will note that I said absolutely next round the rules are being changed. But you know what? If I need to do it sooner, I will. Bottom line, this is my baby and I can adjust so everything is copacetic for the majority of participants. And if that means alienating a handful of people who think fucking their siblings is a valid lifestyle choice, well, shit. Sorry if that's offensive to you"

I'm posting this in the interests of full transparency so please do not send hate or anything to the mods of the bang. I'm just very disappointed that an event that was supposed to be inclusive ended up going to shit for people. I'd also like to point out that the phrase "...a handful of people who think fucking their siblings is a valid lifestyle choice..." is just recycling old anti arguments and banking on a disgust reaction to back up the completely nonsensical argument made.

Please feel free to ask me any questions you have about this!

[crazyunsexycool]

Heart’s Munition

Chapter 2

Pairing: mob boss!Steve Rogers x maid single mom!Reader

Word count: 3.3k

Warning: sick child but nothing descriptive, implied death of a child, Peter Parker being a sweetheart, argument

Series masterlist

Peter Parker has had to do a lot of shady things to get in his boss’ good graces. He was young and had a lot to prove. Still he wasn’t a fan of what his boss had just asked him to do because he liked you. You were both close in age although he had just turned twenty-one and you were older by four years. There was always this protective instinct that you had when it came to him, it was almost motherly. It was something he has always wanted but never had. He did have his aunt May especially after his parents abandoned him and his uncle died. It was no secret Peter loved her to death but because it was only the two of them she often had to work two jobs just to make ends meet. So he was left up to his own devices most of the time. Without much supervision he had a tendency to take a lot of walks whenever he wasn’t in a lab at school.

On one of those walks he ran into something he should have never seen. A deal gone wrong between Clint and some cops that ended badly for the former. Without much thought Peter sprung into action to help Clint get medical attention but it put a target on his back with the crooked cops. If Steve hadn’t brought him in he’d be dead. But he wanted more than to be a low level runner.

Peter wanted to be part of Steve’s inner circle. He was working his way up rather quickly for the short amount of time that he’d been with the group. It was because he was willing to do what it takes to get results but something about this request wasn’t sitting right with him. Peter knew he couldn’t say no though so he found your address and started to get ready for the job. Hopefully he wouldn’t find anything that would jeopardize your well-being.

It was another good day for Elijah and there was nothing that could make you happier. First you enjoyed sleeping in a bit and then both of you dressed and headed out in order to enjoy the day. The sun was shining and there was a nice breeze. You started at the park although Eli didn’t have that much energy to play with the other kids he did love sitting on the swings.

His feet were straight ahead as he threw his head back to look at you upside down. You were gifted with your favorite smile when you pushed him higher. It didn’t take long for some pervy dad to put his kid on a swing and openly check you out. Elijah noticed first and promptly asked to stop and go elsewhere.

Eli begged to go to a video games store and it was a surprise to no one that you caved. It was there that you sensed it first. Someone’s eyes were on you. As discreetly as you could you looked around trying to figure out if you were making it up or not. It took a few turns through the displays to see who you think is Peter trying to hide in plain sight.

“Eli,” you got your son’s attention. “I need you to stay right here ok. I just saw a friend and I want to say hi.”

“Ma, I thought you didn’t have friends.”

“Really? Why must you hurt me like that?”

He laughs and goes back to playing the demo on some system you couldn’t afford. You sneak around one display and then another until you can clearly see that it is Peter. His eyes are now darting around the store trying to find you. They widen and he goes red in the face when he sees you approach.

“I hope you’re here to buy a game and not because you’re spying on me.” You tell him.

“I uh- I’m n-not, promise.”

“So why were you hiding?”

“Ok ok, maybe the boss asked me to see if you were ok.” He turns his head to look back at Eli and swallows thickly.

“Steve did?”

“Yeah, he said you were in some kind of trouble and he wanted to know what it was.”

Elijah jogs over to you and holds up a game.

“Can we get this, ma?”

“Ma? He’s your kid?” Peter asks incredulously.

“Yeah, who else’s kid would it be?”

“I thought maybe you babysat on the weekends.”

“So ma can we?” He looks at you with pleading eyes and it breaks your heart.

“My love we can’t. That old system you have won’t work with this game. Please go put it back.”

“Fine.” He says with a pout and guilt settles heavily on your chest.

You look back at Peter who is still standing there shocked as if you’d told him he was the father.

“You’re a mom.”

“For eight years now.”

“Is it just the two of you?”

You nod. “But anyways, what is this about Steve having you follow me?”

“He thinks you’re in some sort of trouble and I was supposed to figure out what it was so that I can report back to him.”

“Peter,” you grab his forearm and turn to look at him more directly and with a worried expression. “You can’t tell him I have a kid. I don’t want anyone to know unless absolutely necessary. Promise me you won’t tell him please.”

“Wait, is someone threatening your son? Is that why no one can know?”

“No. It’s just I don’t want anyone to be able to use him against me. I know what you all do. I'm not stupid. What if someone that hates Steve threatened my son in order to get information on him? Am I supposed to protect Steve over my son?”

“No, I get it. I won’t say anything but he’ll expect a report anyway. I can’t just lie to him either.”

“Don’t lie, give him a half truth. You saw me at a park and then I went shopping. Which I did.” You say as you look back to check on Eli. Peter follows your gaze and smiles.

“He’s a lucky kid having a mom like you.”

“Peter-“ your eyes lit up as you heard the compliment.

“I’ll leave you two alone and I won’t tell anyone. But if you need anything I’m here for you ok?”

“Thanks, Coulson and Dom know. If it makes you feel better.”

He nods and gives you a small smile before disappearing among the crowd. Elijah walks back over to you a little disappointed, which makes you feel extremely guilty about not being able to get him what he wants. With an arm over his shoulder the two of you walk out and try to enjoy the rest of the day.

While Sunday had started out as another good day for Elijah, the good luck had to end at some point. Mrs. Fields watched Elijah for an hour or two while you ran some errands and by the early evening he was feeling sick again.

You sat next to him on the couch, pressing a cool towel on his forehead. He groans and whimpers while he sleeps. There isn’t much for you to do except wait for the medicine to work, hopefully. Mrs. Fields walks back in with a few bags in hand and an unsure expression on her face.

“Y/N do you know someone named Peter?”

“Yeah, why?”

“He’s downstairs and he said he tried to call you but you weren’t answering. He wanted to come up to drop something off for Eli.”

You pull your phone out and see a few texts and a missed call from Peter. “Could you let him up?” She smiles and nods, hitting the buzzer by the front door and heading to the kitchen.

At the knock on the door Mrs. Fields opens the door for Peter. He takes a tentative step into your small apartment. His smile falters when he takes in the scene before him.

“Is everything ok, Peter?” You ask when you look up at him.

“I think I should be asking you that.”

“It will be. What’s going on?”

“I just wanted to drop something off… for Elijah, from uncle Peter.” He gives you a boyish smile.

You narrow your eyes but he’s already turning away and heading to the door. He walks back in with two bags and a box. When you get a better view You’re immediately ready to argue that you couldn’t accept anything from him.

“Please let me just give them to him as a gift.”

“A PS5 and a Tv? Peter, have you lost your mind? I can’t accept that at all.”

“Y/N, I’ve already set it up for him all I have to do is plug everything in and the tv isn’t even that big. I’m not going to take no for an answer so where should I put it?”

“The door at the end of the hall.” Mrs. Fields says from behind Peter.

“Thank you ma’am.”

Without giving you room to protest Peter heads in the direction of Elijah’s room with you following. He sets the PS5 on the bed and the tv box on the floor and looks around for where to best place it. His eyes land on the large number of prescription bottles on the bedside table and then he looks back at you.

“The doctors can’t figure out what’s wrong. He has his good days and his bad ones. I always worry he’ll never get better.” You explain, unable to express how afraid you are that one day you’ll wake up but he won’t.

“Today is a bad day.”

You nod and he turns to get the tv out. In a few minutes he’s already set up the tv on the dresser and the PS5 is connected and running.

“I’ve got him all of the accessories he’ll need, including an extra controller. I thought if maybe it was ok with you I could come over once in a while and hang out with him.”

You repress the tears that sting your eyes and nod. “I think he’d like that.”

“Cool. I also connected all the streaming apps so that he can watch whatever he wants if he doesn’t feel like playing and I added a gift card so he can get add-ons for the games.”

“Peter, I don’t know what to say. This is so kind of you. Thank you so much I know once he feels better he’s going to love it.”

“It’s no problem. I meant what I said yesterday, if you need anything at all you just let me know. I know what it’s like to grow up with only one parent.”

You sniffled and hugged Peter.

“I’m going to get out of your hair but let me know the minute he feels better and we’ll play a few games together.”

“I will, thank you again.” You say as you walk him out to the door.

“He’s cute. Where do you know him from?”

“Work, he’s just a friend.”

“You don’t have friends ma.” Eli speaks up for the first time in the last few hours.

“You’re a little shit you know that.” He smiles weakly at you. “Do you want to see what Peter brought you?”

He nods and you pick him up and head to his room. He gets as excited as he can considering his weakened state. Mrs. Fields excuses herself and you make yourself comfortable in bed with Eli. It takes you a second to get used to the controller but you manage to put on a movie, allowing Eli to cuddle into your side.

Monday morning was not great for you. You’d barely slept as you watched over your son and now you were late to work. Add to the situation the fact that you had to talk to Steve about the bullshit he pulled by having Peter follow you.

“Mia Cara, I was starting to worry.” Dom said once he saw you.

“It wasn’t a good night and I’m running on fumes.”

“Is he any better today?” Dom whispers the question.

“A little, although if he doesn’t get better we’ll have to go to the hospital.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that Cara.” He moves around the kitchen quickly and sets a plate of food and coffee in front of you. “Take a few minutes and eat up.”

“Thanks, I’m gonna need it.”

You eat quickly and decide to deal with Steve first. The door to his study opens abruptly and Peter is standing there, he gives you a small nod and a tight lipped smile. He already knows you were going to talk to Steve about it so he just moves out of the way to let you in and closes the door behind him.

“Good morning Y/N, how are you?” Bucky says in way too good of a mood.

Steve looks up at you curiously. The look on your face lets him, Bucky and Sam know that you aren’t in the mood for small talk.

“Is everything ok?” Steve asks.

“No, everything is not ok. Can you tell me why you had Peter following me over the weekend?”

Steve drops the pen he’d been using and sits back in his chair. You cross your arms over your chest and glare at him as you wait for an answer.

“I like to make sure all of my employees are well taken care of. I was under the impression that you were facing a problem and I want to know what it is so that I can help.”

“And you couldn’t have just asked me?”

“Would you have told me?”

“No because it’s none of your fucking business.” You spat back at him.

“We’ll give you two some privacy.”

Sam nodded to the door, he and Bucky left you alone with Steve. He immediately got up and sat at the edge of his desk.

“Whatever it is, you know I can help, so what's going on?”

“You know how you can help, by minding your own business and staying out of mine.”

“Why are you being so defensive? I just want to make sure that you have what you need. Why can’t you just accept my help?” Steve’s voice was getting louder with every word and he was standing up straighter with his shoulders squared. You were infuriating and he wasn’t sure why he put up with you.

“So that you can use it as a way to force me to sleep with you? If I wanted your help I would have asked for it, did you ever think of that?”

Steve pinned you to your spot with a hardened stare. That was the man so many feared and it sent a shiver down your spine.

“You know nothing about me. I don’t need to force anyone to sleep with me. But you don’t have to worry about that, you’ll have to beg me before I touch you. In regards to your problem, I’ll back off but if you need the money I’m sure Coulson can find you extra work.”

You scoff. “That’s your problem, you think everything can be solved with money or your influence.”

“Boss, we have a name-“

The door swung open and the tension between you and Steve popped like a bubble. You took a step back realizing for the first time how close you had been.

“I’m sorry I didn’t know you were busy. I can come back.”

“Don’t worry Yelena. Ms. Y/L/N was just leaving.” He turns back to sit behind his desk and doesn’t look at you again.

You give Yelena a smile that doesn't reach your eyes and close the door on your way out. In the kitchen Bucky, Sam and Dom are all talking in hushed tones and the conversation stops completely when Sam sees you walk in.

“Is everything ok Mia Cara?” Dom asks and you just shake your head.

“I would quit if I didn’t need the money. I mean who the fuck does he think he is? He’s just a big stupid manwhore that thinks he owns everyone.”

They watch you pace back and forth in the kitchen as you ramble. Bucky hides a smile behind his hand while Sam and Dom exchange amused glances.

“What happened? Is there anything we can do to help?”

“He had Peter follow me over the weekend. What kind of invasion of privacy is that?” You stop and turn to look at the men. “Then he has the nerve to say that he only wants to help me. Well I didn’t ask for his help or anyone else’s help for that matter.”

Dom nods in understanding, it has nothing to do with you and everything with protecting Elijah. Sam and Bucky however look confused.

“Are you in trouble, doll?”

“What is it with you all thinking I’m in trouble?”

“I know you don’t want to hear this but Steve wouldn’t have done that unless he had a reason to do it. He does genuinely care about people.” Sam adds.

A disbelieving laugh escapes you.

“Yeah he sells drugs and guns and who knows what else because he cares about people.”

Bucky is grinning at you now and you relax a bit and smile back. “This is why I like you.” He says.

You hum in agreement as you pull your phone out of your back pocket. The smile you just had disappears completely at the text that Eli has gotten worse.

“I have to go, please tell Coulson.” You say over your shoulder but it was mostly directed at Dom.

“Is everything ok with her?” Sam asks the older man.

“That’s up to her to share.”

“So Steve was right to worry.”

“Buck, let it go. Don’t push her please.”

“Alright.” Bucky held his hands up defensively. “We have to get back to work anyway.” He announced and left to meet up with Steve.

***

Steve was still in a mood after speaking with Yelena about the current issues he was having with his men being attacked. It had nothing to do with that issue and everything to do with you.

“Get Y/N in here I need to talk to her.” He said to no one specifically.

“She’s gone Steve.”

The statement made Steve’s stomach drop. It must have been obvious in his face because Sam had to clear up what Bucky meant.

“She had some sort of emergency at home I think. She just left for the day.”

“Fine.” He nods once. “That’s everything for now. Let me know what Clint and Nat have finished up with their plan.” Sam and Bucky gave small oks and left him alone with his thoughts.

Steve was still trying to figure out what you were so afraid of. Now with the news that you had to leave due to an emergency he was even more curious.

His cell rings and he grabs it from where it was laying on the desk. Looking at the number he sighs.

“What do you want, Hansen?” His voice teetered between ice cold and angry.

“Well shit, that’s how you’re going to greet an old colleague?”

“I don’t have time for your bullshit. What do you want?”

“I possibly have a lead on the elusive leader of the black order, thought you might be interested.”

“How much is the information going to cost?” Although Steve didn’t want to work with Hansen, he needed the information.

“Why don’t I stop by in a few days? We can catch up.”

“Fine.” Steve said and hung up before he heard a reply.

Steve would have to put his thoughts of you on the back burner. He didn’t like Lloyd Hansen but if he had information on the black order he needed to know.

The sooner he got rid of the threat the sooner he could get back to normal. He would push his thoughts of you aside and focus on his business deals. Putting someone else first almost cost him everything once, he won’t allow you to be his downfall this time around.

Ch. 3

Permanent taglist

@rebekahdawkins

@cjand10

@nalny5

@Sturchling

@angywritesstuff

@seitmai

@writing-for-marvel

@goldylions

@darkhairedmenrule

@almosttoopizza

@littleseasiren

@pono-pura-vida

@talesofadragon

@midnightramyeoncravings

@bunnygirlwriter876

Series taglist

@lets--be-honest

@hapinessinthebeing

@sebsgirl71479

@mssleepy876b

@marvelmenwhore

@vicmc624

@haruvalentine4321

@i-can-do-this-all-dayy

[aliensupersyn]

Gege Contradicted Himself, but That's What Makes 261 Perfect

Gege's first author's note in jjk, made in jjk volume 1: "The other day, I saw a video of myself laughing hysterically. I was a little taken aback by how demonic I looked... I hope you enjoy that type of person's first graphic novel."

Keep this image in mind during this reading. I will com back to this.

TLDR: Yuta's character was based on love and being blessed because of it, but his nature leads him to discarding his humanity and wearing his teacher's corpse. Yuta's care for his friends lead him to discarding his humanity in order to protect them. Yuta once again proves Uraume correct: fear marks humans and holds them back, and only those who can let it go can ascend to something greater.

Yuta and Harmonious Love

This specific section is from an older analysis of Yuta in comparison to Sukuna. The original post is linked below!

Sukuna represents isolation and lovelessness. Uro warned Yuta that for him to gain power and transcend, discarding love and becoming a calamity would be an inevitable step in his path. Yet, Yuta disagreed and regards himself as being blessed.

There are two main implications to Yuta's blessed distinction:

Yuta's willingness to love and be loved makes him blessed.

The use of the word "blessed" directly juxtaposes Sukuna, who is called the disgraced one.

Just after Ryu says he doesn't understand why he's blessed, Yuta continues with the plan he and his friends made to save Tsumiki.

Gege uses Yuta and Rika to represent an idea of harmonious, mutual love via wedding motifs. To activate his true power where he harmonizes with Rika, Yuta dons a ring on his fourth finger, which is commonly considered the finger for a wedding band. His domain expansion has even more wedding themes that accentuate this motif.

Yuta's power comes directly from his love for his friends and Rika. It's unquestionable and true; Gege uses Yuta to show an idea of true love rooted in adolescent bonds. While he and Rika were only kids when they promised to marry one another, Yuta felt so powerfully about this promise that it still affects him years later.

Uro's warning to Yuta was useless, because his true power relies on love. Yuta can't "awaken" any kind of powerup that would force his story to resemble Sukuna's or become a calamity in the same way as him. Sukuna's loveless nature directly contradicts the source of Yuta's power. Yuta will not become a calamity like Sukuna because it contradicts his story's foundation and the literal source of his power. (edit: see section below)

Uro's comments reveal that somehow, and at some point, Sukuna's growth caused him to cast away his "humanity" and become a calamity.

Yuta and Rika's love boosted her power so much that even Sukuna refers to her as the Queen of Curses, in recognition of her strength.

Uraume distinguishes a human from whatever they represent. When they acknowledge Hakari’s powerful reverse cursed technique as being above Gojo and Sukuna, Uraume no longer sees him as human. Not only is it Hakari’s rct that makes Uraume respect him, but also his willingness to sacrifice his body to fight. The ascension, or change, that Uraume describes requires both power and the will to use it.

What Changed in 261

Hakari's reference to Yuta in the page above was finally addressed in 261. Yuta has that hunger to reach the heights of Gojo, or a least, we will see in 262.

The hunger that Sukuna preaches describes his own ideology of power and what it takes to be powerful.

To defeat a villain, a story also has to address their ideologies. So far, Sukuna's monstrous ideology has all but won. Each of the main four in Shinjuku has abandoned their humanity, in accordance to Uraume's argument:

Maki slaughtered her family in the name of freedom.

Hakari's willingness to destroy his body and let go of fear and simply trust in his rct to fight.

Yuji's appearance slowly shifting into mirroring Sukuna (we have yet to see the outcome of this).

Yuta discarding his humanity and wearing his sensei's body in order to fight Sukuna.

Gege has taken the idea of maturation and growth, something usually positive and humane, and has flipped it. In JJK, maturation for the main four means cleaving away their humanity and letting part of themselves go in a condemning narrative about the tragedy of youth. In the first author's note, Gege describes a time when there was laughter, but all he saw was a demonic visage; there's a metaphor here about narrative perspective and duality. Growth in JJK ironically means cutting parts of yourself away. Laughter flipped to something evil, maturation flipped to becoming a monster.

The Blessed One has become a walking corpse. Has Yuta become disgraced as well?

Notes:

Original post that the first section comes from.

Those Hakari pages were bothering me for SO LONG. I hate you Gege, this was all a deliberate plot to piss me off.

I could really go on with my own ideas about how maturation really does involve consciously letting so much of yourself go, but that's not what this post is about lmao.

[ghostflowerhotpotch]

Do you think that gwen stacy is trans?

Yes, yes I do.

Now, the last time I talked about this I also mentioned I didn't see a point in making a post about it, because nothing I was going to say was going to be different than what you had probably already seen everywhere else.

That being said-

I had seen SO MANY idiots on the internet, to which I haven't replied (because I am also trans I used to know when or not to bother with people like that,) which had made me want to discuss the matter in my own words, even if I can't truly add anything new to the table.

So, I will probably do the same reasoning everyone else had already said, if anyone is still interested in reading it feel free, if not you can scroll. I will also address some common criticism of the theory.

Before we start the actual arguments, a few things.

No, I don't think if you believe Gwen is cis you are transphobic or something, as long as you are respectful.

I can't say how people see her or not, and while for me the evidence feels obvious, I know unless we have Gwen saying it (or someone close to her at least,) it cannot be sure one way or another. Remember that, ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.

I am fine if someone doesn't think she is trans, but I do think believing is IMPOSSIBLE for her to be is when you are entering transphobic territory. The reason why I think this is dumb, aside of the evidence; is the fact that if a character doesn't need to say I'm cis at any point to believe so, Gwen shouldn't need to say I'm trans for people to HC her as such or similar.

With that out of the way, let's start.

Going back to this image, we see that Gwen has a flag that says "Protect trans kids." Which to me feels like says a lot.

I had seen people suggest that "Of course she is an ally, she is a hero!" And while I could get Gwen being interested in helping people who face discrimination, since she deals with crime and such; the idea has me cackling more than anything else.

Is not impossible, but seriously, WHEN had you seen an ally with a flag in their room? It feels like an excuse someone who is in the closet would say; allies could have trans stuff or displayed in certain situations, but those situations tend to be in public, you know? Since being an ally means being vocal when you need to; there is really no reason for an Ally to have a trans flag in their room as decoration.

To top it all off, is on top of her door, not a window or anything, is obviously this is more for her than anything else.

George Stacy has a trans flag on his uniform.

This...This a really big deal honestly.

In a vacuum is a small gesture, perhaps if you aren't part of the community you don't get why I think this is amazing. So let me say a couple of things.

He is supporting his trans daughter; maybe is because of my family, or because all of my current trans and non-gender conforming friends have parents who range from shitting to not very supportive in general. So having Gwen be trans, still be a teen, and her dad supporting her? FUCK that means the world to me, even if I think he isn't that good of a dad.

This is in his uniform, this isn't just supporting Gwen in front of her, but also when she isn't around. You would be surprised how many parents say to be supportive but be quiet while hearing about discrimination. This also can lead me to believe he will be supportive when other trans individuals are around.

He is a cop. In real life, I don't feel safe around cops for a multitude of reasons I will not get to because I don't want to get too political here. Regardless, the fact that he is the Police Captain of his department while having this shows that he can be supportive of trans people, is huge.

Now, I know the next piece of evidence has been debated A LOT, especially for people who honestly, have clearly no idea how cinema, animation, or art work at all.

You know? Coding can be so funny at times.

There have been multiple times, when things had been coded on purpose, to the point I thought it was as subtle as a brick hitting your face; and yet I still find people who don't get it and just baffled me to not end.

Examples: Norma in Dead End Paranormal is coded as autistic, but it is never explicitly said on the show, (I think is mentioned in the comics? I know the creator is autistic.) However I never felt it needed to, because Normal has so many signs and hints that I clock her in the first episode, and the representation is so point it feels as if she needed to state she is a woman of color.

Nimona is another example related to the trans experience; seriously almost word for word what Nimona says can be applied to trans people, with the creator also being trans; and yet I was baffled to see some people saw the movie and didn't clock that.

Now, is what Gwen is saying in this scene talking about her experience being Spider-woman? Yes. However, just like Nimona didn't explicitly say she was trans, their entire story revolves around a trans allegory (As well as being likely genderfluid,) feels like is trying to say something.

Not to mention that this is a story, an animated one at that; everything you see on screen was put there by someone and animation tends to have fewer coincidences because you are going to be staring at this screen for a LONG time most probably. It was also noted by the crunch situation (which is again, horrifying and I think Chris Miller needs to find another way to work rather than wasting time and resources like he did,) that the writers had a tendency to tweak to make sure everything was on point; this couldn't have been thrown carelessly.

With all of this preface, Gwen's speech in this section? This could be played WORD BY WORD on a come-out speech.

"And they can only know half of who I am!" -> Having your real gender identity in the closet a lot of times feels like you need to hide half of who you are, from likings to aesthetics to even how you behave socially, it can be a big toll.

"So I'm completely on my own!" -> This is a common sentiment for people who are in the closet without support, because you are carrying all these feelings alone and have no one to understand.

"And now, I don't- I don't even know what the right thing is, anymore!" -> People may be a bit confused about this one, but believe it or not, it happens more often than you think. Should you transition? Should you wait a few years? Should you try to have this conversation with your parents, cousins, etc?

"But I know...I can't lose, one more friend." -> I don't think, I need to talk about how often people aren't supportive of trans individuals. I could talk more about this, but frankly, I don't need to. It happens, even to this day and age, especially in the current political climate.

To top all of this off, the reason why I singling this part (Aside from this speech being as subtle as the Ruby Gillman movie having the antagonist be a parody of Ariel.) Is the background.

The colors are just like a trans flag.

Now, I had seen people suggest that pointing at this is dumb because "that's just an homage to the covers!"

To which I said, no, this is the homage.

And what the background is doing with Gwen in the speech scene is definitely not the same thing.

I find this argument really funny from an artistic point of view, but in case people are wondering why I don't think it counts, let me number a few things.

The covers do this lighting situation OUTSIDE, they normally depict Gwen being around the city on a landscape when things happen, not indoors. This is both the covers and the sky in Gwen's universe. But we don't see indoor places doing this really.

The colors blend, while you can see buildings and windows have their own colours, you can also see them going from orange, to pink and red on the exact same wall.

If you want even more proof of my support, let me show you what the artbook says about this (which includes the covers.)

My point is, even if we try to argue that the covers had something to do; do you think in a movie where they already have Gwen had a trans flag, her dad had a trans patch; would have a moment when the speech mimics exactly the trans experience (or a big chunk for many people,) with the colors in the background being EXACTLY like a trans a flag, with creators and creative that they have STATED, the importance of color in Gwen's world and in Gwen specifically, somehow just choose colors at random at a pivotal moment of the movie?

And I am somehow the crazy one?

Biases

I like to believe I am a fair person, for the most part. Every time I do these analyses I try to be as impartial as possible, and when I know there is a chance my biases and personal opinion will come into hand, I said that much.

As I said before, I am trans, anyone who has seen at least my master post can probably guess I like Gwen. Having a character I dearly love be trans (Even if our situations are wildly different) obviously means the world to me, and perhaps I would have had a similar headcanon even without any hints or evidence.

Regardless, I don't think what I am saying is purely biased; things are put in movies for a reason, especially animated movies, and let me tell you something, has this been another character, especially if it was a new character? I don't think people would be debating this.

If we have a new character having a trans flag in their room, their dad having a trans patch, this narrative; I doubt anyone would be saying this is coding. (Honestly, we would probably have more dudebros saying this is woke garbage than the ones I had seen lol.)

Alternative theories

Now, since I have addressed the theory and some of its criticism, I can't just ignore the number of people had rather than thinking Gwen is trans, believe someone else is.

Theory 1: Peter is Trans

This isn't odd. Honestly if you had been part of the Spiderman community while being queer, or aware of queer readings, you would have probably come around to the fact that a lot of people headcanon Peter Parker as trans, in multiple different variants in different mediums.

Partially because the spidey-hero situation really mimics the trans experience (there is a reason why you can put Gwen's speech on a come-out scene while simultaneously being about her hero identity without either way sounding forced,) and depending on what source materials, other clues can apply. This post isn't about that and it is already extremely long, so I will not dwell on this.

With this theory in mind, Gwen and her dad would be having trans flag and patch in memory of Peter, since with this theory it was likely that was the reason he was bullied, and probably another reason why to experiment to become the lizard; since being bullied could make him feel like he needs to find a way to be more masculine.

And look, do I have a problem with people thinking Peter is trans? Not really, I encourage it, I personally like the idea that both Gwen and Peter were trans and they bonded over it.

However, I wouldn't want this to be in canon, why?... It feels like it would fall into some harmful stereotypes.

Think about it this way; if we go with this route, a trans teen was bullied, after showing he looks like he is kind of isolated (Gwen seems to have the band at least, Peter looks like he was a loner, and then Gwen started to put distance between them because Spider-woman issues.) Get's so desperate that in an attempt to be "special" (maybe even "better" and "stronger," if he felt he wasn't enough as he was,) tries to experiment with things he shouldn't dying in the process; to which Gwen and her dad then would try to fight for trans rights in his memory, as this theory also heavily implies Peter was bullied because he was trans.

And look, angst narratives had their place, and a lot of people like this narrative, heck I remember a book that does something similar (More than Gold is the name, tho the character doesn't die,) and that was written by a trans person.

Nonetheless, the idea to suggest the only trans person in this narrative, dies after ostracization and bullying, and their purpose on the story as a whole would be to fuel Gwen's pain, with the "protect trans kids" idea only happening partially because of her guilt; feels a lot like "bury your gays (or trans in this case,)" something akin to frigging (while Peter would obviously still consider a boy in this theory, having a character from a minority die to hurt/inspire a protagonist, feels deeply concerning.) Is just a combination of too many things that I dislike.

Again, if someone likes this idea I will not say they are a bad person or anything; but I would have fewer issues if it wasn't because a SIGNIFICANT number of those who said this theory, had also shown to be deeply transphobic; insisting Gwen is obviously not trans with non-arguments. Doesn't need to be everyone, but it still annoys me.

2. Captain Stacy IS the trans one!

This one is...interesting, to say the least.

This one is less frequent than Peter's, but I had seen it pop around enough that I decided to address it.

Unlike Peter's, this one doesn't carry horrible connotations. Well it would have the "only" (if we go with this theory and with no other "canon" trans parent in the story,) trans parent be also the one that tries to point a gun at his daughter, to also be so extremely stubborn even when she finally comes back he acts kind of petulant- okay all of these things are bad, however, they wouldn't need to be related to each other; since none of these are really stereotypes of trans men. That's something?

Anyways, the big idea behind this theory is that aside from being more plausible for an adult to use a trans patch because they are trans rather than because their kid is trans, it could be a possible explanation as to why there is no mom or mention of a mom, since this child could be in vitro.

Which, okay, not that bad; I don't think a lot of trans men would like the idea of being pregnant, however, it has happened before so why not.

I don't think this is a bad theory overall, I just don't roll with it because it feels kind of, lazy? Again, do as you may; but it feels that the people who did it were more interested in again, having an explanation for Gwen not being trans, while also not actively being transphobic. Maybe some people just want more trans dad content I don't know.

There are technically instances of both the Peter theory and the Dad theory that could dethrone both of these, but the one related to Peter makes me feel a bit gross to think too hard about, and the other George one could imply something things that one way or other I don't like when the reality is that is a few frames on a scene where the patch isn't the focus. Another reason is that hey, if I don't have solid evidence on my own, I am not going to nitpick at other fan theories.

Speaking of which.

Is this Representation?

Short answer: No, no it's not.

I don't even want to discuss if is good representation, because it doesn't feel like it is to begin with. Yes, I do believe Gwen is trans, but all the things I have are background references, that are okay, however not having a confirmation does sting. It doesn't have to be the focus of her character, yet is not even off comments really, just some clues around.

Do I think it doesn't have Merit? No.

I remember during the first days this movie was out, I read a comment from someone who was in Florida, who said when they saw the "Protect Trans Kids" flag in Gwen's room, started crying.

I think of myself, almost a decade ago, in a country that wasn't really welcome to gay people, much less trans people; of the discrimination I faced because of it. I think when I was a teen, grappling with all these feelings; and how I would had feel seen the badass and cool, Gwen Stacy as Spider-woman, having that trans flag in their room. I know I would have cried too.

We cannot act like things are perfect currently; the United States, England, and other countries are becoming increasingly transphobic; having these things in a PG movie, from a big company, that is released to a worldwide level and is making bank. Not to mention that as small as these details are, the movie did end up getting banned for it, not even censored.

I think we can get better representation, but it doesn't mean this is less huge or less special; even if it didn't touch me like it would have in the past, it had touched many people, and that's something I appreciate one way or another.

This is in itself, another reason why to love this idea.

Gwen being trans fits the themes of the story better

Stan Lee is obviously, talking about Spider-MAN, but it gets the message across doesn't it?

Part of the reason Spiderman became so iconic, was the idea that ANYONE could be Spiderman, this ended up involved in these movies too.

In Across the Spider-verse, we see multiple types of spiders, people from the future, and past, children, women, men, animals, and a popsicle at one point (literally.) The movie also has Miguel, who is the antagonist, convinced what makes them Spiderman/Spiderwoman/you get the idea- is decided by a cosmic force, with Miles claiming that Spiderman is an idea, a responsibility, but something much more diverse than "you need these events to happen in order to be considered truly spiderman."

In Into the Spider-verse, this idea is also shown, by having spideys that are not just Peter Parker, and how Peter while important, isn't truly the protagonist of this tale, he doesn't need to be.

This franchise hinders the idea that being Spiderman is more than a name, a gender, or your background; is about someone that when given the possibility of using their powers for their own gain or ignoring the call, decides to risk it all, to handle a difficult life, to try to do their best despite the circumstances; because the essence of Spiderman, is being a hero, and anyone can be Spiderman. Anyone can be a hero.

Gwen being trans, elevates this idea.

While I think having more Spider-woman content is empowering on its own, cis woman or trans, the idea of having a trans hero obviously exemplifies this idea more than having her absence.

If Gwen is a trans girl, it would mean having a trans girl who is a tridimensional character, a trans teen that messes up, that doesn't know what to do, but is also a hero, and wants to do her best like everyone else. It means showing a trans girl as someone beautiful, badass, and having a guy who adores her with all his might.

If the idea of having her Peter be trans could be problematic, having her be trans means having a great role model, means a story about trans joy where we are free to be more than our identities, because the idea of Gwen casually being a hero and also trans is amazing in its own.

Is not perfect, but I ultimately love this idea, because it brings me hope. It means comfort for some trans and trans teens suffering out there, it means perhaps someone out there will try to offer more stories on the big screen with trans teens.

I want to believe this because Gwen being trans means more for us and the narrative than it would be otherwise. Let us have our dreams.