#can we pretend it's all ok for a while and that i'm four again and my feelings got big?

[the-woild-is-y-erster]

vent ig

no one in my family will hug me anymore. i dont think i said or did anything, and i take showers consistently every other day, so i know i dont smell bad.

but none of my friends are very tactile, and ive been too busy to see my boss

so i havent had a hug in two months, maybe more (not that ive been counting.)

and i think i'm going insane.

i havent had more than a hand on a shoulder, at most holding someone's hand for theater, and i'm going crazy because i need to be hugged i need to be held i need to be loved but i guess that isn't in the cards right now.

that's ok. i can wait a little longer, i guess.

[fakescenariosbeforesleepblog]

Eye in the sky.

141 member reader(codename: eagle)x könig

You're the medic of your team, you never worked with KorTac before and you weren't prepared for it or for the blue eyed Colonel.

If you like it, give a ♥️ for a second part.

Warning: mentions of blood, injuries, grammatical/ spelling errors, long story.

Pt.2

The meeting today is not going well, you've been listening to the boys complaining over and over again.

- KorTac? No, we can do this on our own.

- it's not a suggestion Ghost, I don't like the idea either but Laswell insisted.

- But Sir, those are fuckin animals!

- Yeah I don't like their techniques... Eagle, what do you think?

The four men are looking at you, expectantly, you're in your own thoughts, just waiting for your orders.

- Huh?

- What do you think Doc? Are you okay with the idea of working with KorTac?

Soap wasn't happy but like you he would do what Price and Laswell order.

- I don't mind, I mean we will play our part and they will play theirs, no?

- Indeed, eagle is right, we will arrive together, we'll clean the path for them and then... They will do what we're not allowed to do.

- Which is?

You're not new to this but you seriously don't understand why everyone is so bothered by this situation.

- Common eagle! Don't pretend you don't know.

Gaz is irritated by your silly question but you really need to understand what is going on.

- what? I seriously don't get it.

- They will torture to obtain the information we need, we're not allowed to use the same methods they usually use.

Ghost said it as if it was nothing, but now you get why they're not ok with the news.

Someone knocked on the door, Interrupting your meeting, Price opened while all of you were still talking in whispers.

- Guys, lemme introduce the members of KorTac that will be working with us. Horangi, Roze and König.

Roze and Horangi look strong but König looks like a giant bear, is taller than ghost.

- This is the 141, Ghost, Soap, Gaz and our medic, Eagle, we were already talking about how will we work.

You're still amazed by König's height, you don't even pay attention to what they're talking about, you're observing carefully, his arms are long and muscular, his legs, those thighs could explode anybody's head, his blue eyes...

- Eagle? Are you with us?

- ah? Oh fuck, Yes, I'm... Sorry Captain.

- I was saying there's a small change of plans, you will be working with König and his team.

Fuck, everybody noticed you were literally staring at him, you're blushing, focus, focus!.

- Yes, captain.

- Did you heard what will you do?

- Ah...

- Eagle is my best sniper and medic, sometimes looks like lives in the clouds but I can assure you there won't be problems during the mission.

- I hope so, I don't like to be a babysitter, Roze and Horangi, they're really good at any task (...)

A babysitter? Who does this tall man think he is? You looked at your friends, they're returning the annoyed glance at you.

- I understand, then that's how we will be working, Colonel, I'll give you the details about when we'll start.

The reunion finished, you started to walk to your room when Gaz appeared at your side with his silly malicious smirk.

- I saw that.

- What?

- You were looking at the masked giant, to be honest everybody noticed it.

- Oh god! I was just looking at how tall he is, did you saw him? It's massive, I will need to take like the double amount of everything just in case he's injured or something.

Gaz continued making fun of you, you felt seriously embarrassed you tried to do your usual tasks and pretend nothing happened then disappeared until it was dinner time.

You were looking for the table where usually you and the team sit, there they are, with Roze and Horangi, where's the giant? You look around just to see him sitting alone just with an apple and a protein bar, before you could even notice you're already in front of him.

- Ja? Can I help you?

He's not being rude but also not very kind, he's looking at you with a bothered look.

- Ah... No, well, I was wondering why are you here, everybody is eating together, over there.

- I like to be alone.

- oh okay, sorry...

You turned back and walked to the usual table, you discovered Roze and Horangi are more social, talking a little bit more than their colonel.

- Horangi, may I ask you something?

- go ahead.

- Your colonel... Is he always like that?

Horangi looked at König's direction, he stayed in silence for a moment then sigh and redirect his look to you.

- I shouldn't say this but he has social anxiety. That's why he always sits away, excuse me, I'll go to check on him.

He stood up and left, Roze interrupted your thoughts.

- They're good friends, don't worry. They're always together, well Doc, I hope your captain says the truth about you, take good care of us tomorrow.

She gave you a pat on the back and left, you continued the conversation with your team, keeping an eye on Horangi and König, then everybody went to sleep.

The morning arrived quickly, you're checking if you already have all you could possibly need. You're checking your gun, knifes, belt, you don't want problems with the KorTac guys. Ghost appeared behind you.

- Ready?

- Fuck! Ghost, you scared me. Yes, just wanted to check once more.

- You'll be alright Eagle... Just... Take care of you when you're with them, alright?

- Is Ghost worried about me?

You tried to joke with him but he was talking really serious.

- I'm serious, we don't know them, we don't know if they have other plans or something.

- Yes, Lt.

The trip on the plane was calmed, everybody reviewed the plan, it was simple, You and König will be in high ground, as snipers, while the rest eliminates enemies that are not visible for you, Roze and Horangi will be searching for information and the target, once they found him, You and König will join them, you will wait until they finish to obtain information, give medical attention to the target because Laswell needs him alive.

You and König started to walk to the highest ground you could find, you're just following König In silence until he decided to speak.

- Why Eagle?

- What?

- Why that codename? Eagle?

- Ah well, my father is a huge fan of that old band... The Alan Parsons project, do you know it?

- I don't think so.

- do you know that song... « I'm the eye in the sky, looking at you I can read your mind...»?

- nein

- Oh well, it's a good song, my dad sang it for me when I was afraid or anxious. When I joined the army I sang or hummed it all the time and everywhere, eventually everybody knew me for that and started to call me eagle because you know, the song and I'm a good sniper, I like it, it's a reminder that my dad still walks at my side, even if he's no longer here.

You looked at him and to your surprise he was observing you, too focused on your story, his eyes are blue and his look is soft, then he looked somewhere else.

- Good story. Umm I think this is a good place, what do you think?

- Sure, it gives us a good view of the place.

The radios interrupted the conversation. «Eagle, König, Are you ready?»

- Yes Cap, you have eyes in the sky.

You and könig started to shoot and it became a competition to see who would shoot down more targets. You started to laugh and so he did.

- Ha! And they said I couldn't be a sniper.

- God! You're a good sniper König, you're hard to beat.

- Danke, you're good too.

And there it is that look he gave you before, soft blue eyes but once more something interrupted you.

«König, we found him, bring the Doc, were waiting for you, he refuses to talk» «Do your magic Colonel!!» Horangi and Roze were on the radio.

He Stood up and offered you his hand to help you to stand up, you started to trot quickly, In silence, you noticed how tense he was, you arrived at the location, Ghost and Soap were waiting for you outside, König got inside the house, you were ready to follow but Ghost stopped you.

- What? I'll go with them, no? Where's Gaz and Price?

- You will wait here until they say you're allowed to go there.

You looked at both of them in confusion, soap simply nodded at you.

- trust us, eagle, you don't want to see that. The cap and Gaz will join us soon, they're blocking the communication in the zone.

A few minutes later you started to hear someone screaming «Please!! Please, I beg you to stop...» then silence again, you're worried but you know soap and ghost were right, maybe it's better to not see what is going on there. Almost an hour later Roze came out. «It's your turn Doc» before you could give a step inside the house she warned you «I have to say... it's not a nice view» she went back inside and you followed her, the smell of blood became stronger with every step you gave, before you got inside the room, you could hear some laughs, you opened the door just to find König cleaning his hands, while Horangi was cleaning a knife, next to them was a man, in a chair, he's unconscious but breathing, blood is everywhere, certainly Roze wasn't lying, it wasn't nice, but you made your best to look normal.

You kneeled down in front of the man, started to look for a serious injury that needed to be attended before some other, his face is hard to recognize, is bloody, puffy, purple, fresh cuts still bleeding, his fingers are broken and don't have nails anymore, there's deep cuts on his thighs, broken ribs, nose broken, you can bet he is deaf and toothless now, his ears are bleeding too, it's a mess, you don't know where to start.

Horangi decided to let you work, he left, there's only you and König, you can feel his eyes fixed on you.

[eufezco]

THE GRIEF OF LOSING EDDIE MUNSON

Steve Harrington x Byers!Fem!Reader, because I need to make everything about Steve sorry.

A/N: Listen to Glimpse of us by Joji, Fourth of July by Sufjan Stevens and Die first by Nessa Barret for the full experience. Once again, english isn't my first language<3

Tw: self harm, panic attacks, not eating. I've seen a lot of people having such a strong reactions to Eddie's death and this is super angsty so be careful reading it please.

The door of your room was closed. It was closed most of the day, the only person who dared to open it was your mother to check up on you. Every now and then. She would leave it open, pretending to forget about closing it after going out of your room so she could have an eye on you. But that day you decided to keep it open yourself.

Someone knocked on the door of the house. Joyce being the one opening it to find Steve with a half-smile on his face. She hugged him before letting him inside.

—How is she doing? —The boy asked your mom, her replying with a grimace, pointing at your open door with her head. Steve blinked, nodding. That's good, he thought.

Steve went to the living room where El, Will and Jonathan were having breakfast, Hopper was sitting on the couch watching the TV. Steve said good morning to all of them and sat at the table with your siblings.

Joyce asked him if he had already had breakfast to which Steve answered by nodding his head and thanking her for worrying. Will showed him his new drawings and El talked about something he wished he could've paid attention to, but his fingers were tapping nervously on the table as his eyes escaped from El to the door of your room. He'd been doing it every day since everything ended. He'd usually wait for you there, sitting with your siblings, but today you were taking especially long.

—Should we go and see if she's okay?

Steve nodded and got up from the bed as soon as Will asked, the other three doing the same and following him. Jonathan, Will, El and Steve stood outside of your room, you not noticing them thanks to you wearing your headphones and being with your back turned to the door as you were busy drawing something.

Steve and Jonathan shared a glimpse.

—Is she okay? —El asked. You never used headphones, your music was always rumbling through the house.

—I think she's going through grief —. Steve stated.

El and Will were confused. —What's that? —El asked Steve.

—It's when- It's when you try to process the loss of someone.

The girl nodded, understanding what Steve was saying. Will had a worried expression on his face while Jonathan looked at you with sad eyes.

—And what do we need to do? How can we help her?

Steve kept looking at you while Will looked at him, El waiting for an answer. Both, Steve and Jonathan knew there wasn't much to do for you. —Just be there for her —. Jonathan answered her for Steve.

DENIAL

"Hi, y/n." The four of them decided that it would be better if only one of them went to talk to you. El and Will voted for that person to be Steve while Jonathan voted for Will and Steve voted for himself. Steve tapped softly on your shoulder, making you turn around, startled because you weren't expecting anyone to find out it was Steve who interrupted your thoughts. You said hi back to him as he threw a glimpse at what you were drawing. Steve talked to you, you only responding him with quiet hums.

"Are you ok-?" He finally asked.

"I'm fine." You replied to Steve and immediately after, you put your headphones back on. He stood there, behind you, for a couple of seconds deciding what he should do; you definitely weren't feeling like talking nor spending time with him or with anyone, but he didn't want to leave you. That day he did leave, but that didn't happen ever again.

You spent most of the day drawing, writing, or reading, your headphones never leaving your ears. Steve brought you some of his tapes and he bought new ones for you of artists he knew you liked. El would sneak into your room and just watch you as you painted and sometimes Will would too to draw with you. You couldn't feel anything, not sadness, not happiness, as if there was a hole in your chest that absorbed every emotion not giving your brain enough time to process them before they were gone. You were numb to everything around you; seeing Steve walk into your room made you feel nothing, you couldn't be proud as you used to be when Will showed you one of his new works, and neither you could feel the sadness after losing your best friend. You just were certain that something like that couldn't have happened to him. If Will survived one week alone in the Upside Down, Eddie could too.

"We need to go back." You went to the kitchen where Steve was helping Hopper to cook. There were only the three of you in the house, Joyce and Jonathan were at work but it wouldn't be long before they got home, and El and Will were hanging out with Mike. Steve cleaned his hands and turned around to listen to you, Hopper watching out the pasta for him. "We need to go back to the Upside Down." Steve's body tensed, Hopper stopped mixing the pasta with the tomato sauce. "I've been thinking and- Will was 12 when he spent a whole week alone in the Upside Down and survived, and those bats bit you too and you are alive. Eddie-" Steve shook his head softly, pressing his lips together. "Y/n." Steve cut you off in the softest way he could. Hopper looked at the boy who just finished sharing with him what Dustin told him about Eddie. "We can figure out how to open the gate again. I'm- I'm not asking any of you to go, I'll do it. I'll go and find him."

Steve licked his lips. "That's not possible, y/n."

"You don't understand, I have to find him." Your hands shook, Steve noticing and approaching you. Hopper turned around to see where the boy was going. "I have to save him, Steve." You started crying, your hands covering your face as you used Steve's chest to hide. "He's there alone and he has to be very scared." You sobbed, him wrapping his hands around your body, his chin resting on the top of your head. Hopper approached you both and laid one of his hands on your head. "He hates being alone. He has to be so scared, Steve, please, we need to find him." As he said, Steve knew that wasn't possible and he let you know in the less hurtful way, by not answering you. You begged Steve to help you go back to the Upside Down, his heart breaking into million pieces knowing he couldn't do anything for you and holding back his tears as he heard your desperate sobs trying to get Eddie back.

ANGER

Steve was holding you between his arms as you tried to escape his grip. You had already broken some of the polaroids you had with Eddie on the wall above your desk, the pieces lying on the floor as you tried to go and rip the ones that were still stuck to the wall. Your breathing was fast, your eyes with tears of rage and your body shook violently against Steve's arms. You finally gave up, if it hadn't been because Steve was holding onto you, you would've fallen defeated to the floor. Your head down as you sobbed, your whole body finally relaxing as Steve could loose his arms around you a little bit, still holding you so you won't fall. He gave you a minute as you tried to catch your breath and his eyes were locked on the ripped pictures, Steve let out a sigh because he knew you were definitely gonna regret this later.

"He was a fucking coward. He let himself die because of this stupid town as if he owned this place anything when everyone, literally everyone, thinks he is a murderer. You know what he was, huh? A fucking idiot and he died like one." Steve had to hear things like this every day, knowing you didn't mean it and that it was your trauma talking, not you. After realizing what you just say, you would start crying while mumbling 'I didn't mean it', Steve caressing your back and reassuring you that he knew you didn't.

Joyce had to pick up the pieces of your broken drawings, you destroyed every piece of art you created during your denial stage; ripping the papers and making holes in your canvases. Steve asked her if he could keep them and Joyce gave him each of the small pieces of paper that she collected. Steve repaired your photos with Eddie, using glue and tape to get the pieces together. He kept them in his room, waiting patiently to return them to you. He managed to perfectly repair four of them: you and Eddie posing for the camera with your Hellfire t-shirts, a big smile on your face as Eddie leaned his head on your shoulder. You didn't play D&D but Eddie insisted on you having your own Hellfire t-shirt. Two of them were pictures of Eddie, him lying in a flower field when you both went to that picnic last spring, his hair tangling with the flowers, and another one of him playing his guitar in one of his concerts. The fourth one was taken by Eddie's tattoo artist when he let you use the tattoo pen to color the bats’ tattoo on his arm. You were focused and worried at the same time that you were hurting him, but Eddie was admiring you as you worked on his new tattoo, the shine in his eyes visible in the picture being evidence of what kind of friendship you two had. For the rest of the photos, Steve did the best he could, but some of the pieces were too small to get them together or to even identify what they were.

The relationship between Jonathan and Steve got worse if possible. They only worked hand to hand when it was about you, the rest of the day they'd ignore each other for good. Jonathan hated to see Steve every day at home but he never said anything because he knew that he did not only help you but Joyce and his family too. Jonathan didn't like Steve, not only because he was his girlfriend's ex but now also because he was trying to get with his little sister. It was probably you transmitting your bad mood to them, which they never blamed you for, what caused them almost getting into a fight in the living room. Apparently, Steve heard Jonathan telling that long-haired friend of his how, not so deep down, Steve was still the same person he was three years ago. Steve wouldn't have cared about what Jonathan had to say about him, but you being depressed and your brother assuming that Steve was using you made him snap. Hopper had to step in the middle of the two boys, and Joyce had to call them both out.

Your jaw hurt, it was clenched most of the day and in the palm of your hands were bruises of half-moons because of your nails digging into your skin when you closed your fists. Steve took care of them, asking Joyce for bandages to cover that part of your hand so when you sunk your nails there, you wouldn't hurt yourself. Sometimes you would puke from all the anger you were keeping inside, Jonathan with a hand on your forehead and the other one holding your hair, and Steve waiting with water and a wet towel to clean your face. Then the embarrassment and the frustration would hit you at the same time, leaving you sitting down on the floor of the bathroom for hours, with your back against the door and your head on your knees as you hugged them to your chest. Steve and Jonathan were sitting there with you, looking at you and then looking at each other, their eyes finally locking on the floor as they listened to you cry.

BARGAINING

What if you've never met Eddie? What if you never introduced him and Dustin? What if you had gone with him to the Upside Down instead of going with Max and Lucas to the Creel House? You coudn't save Max and you couldn't save Eddie either. You were so ashamed of yourself, you felt like a failiure. You should've gone to California with your family, if you wouldn't have stayed in Hawkins, Eddie would be alive now. You would've probably distanced yourselves and now he would be living his life, playing D&D and giving concerts. The anger mixed with the sadness and you finally felt like talking with someone about Eddie.

"I should've gone to the Upside Down." You were sitting in your bed, your knees against your chest. Steve was sitting on the floor of your room, his back against the wall right in front of your bed and reading one of the books you recommended him a long time ago. His eyes laid on you when you spoke. You didn't tell him but Steve guessed that those thoughts were going through your head. "It should've been me who-" Steve cut you off. "No. Don't say that." Steve left the book on the floor and went to sit next to you, his gaze trying to find yours but your eyes were lost. "It should have been none of us." Steve tried to comfort you. He threw one of his hands over your shoulder, making you lay your head on his chest. You didn't complain, letting Steve's soft-touch snuggle you to his chest. There was a moment of silence before Steve spoke again. "Dustin asks all the time about you." You sat up, your eyes wide open. You've been so self-centered in your pain that you didn't even think about Dustin.

Steve drove you to the Hawkins High Gym where he knew you would find Dustin. During the drive, he told you that Dustin spent his days there since the supposed earthquake hit Hawkins, helping the people affected by it and giving them comfort. You knew the boy would be doing a good job. "If you want to leave at any moment, just let me know." You nodded, thinking twice about going into the gym. Steve waited with you there until you felt ready, his hands on his pockets as he already saw his friend through the windows, handing bottles of water and limping as he walked. Everything was a mess when you decided to go inside the gym. Even though some time has passed, people were still hurt, homeless and they'd probably lost everything. You saw Robin from the distance, she was talking with that girl she fancied and when she saw you too, she greeted you with a small smile, glad to see you again. Steve was by your side when Dustin noticed you had walked into the gym, him giving you the soft push you needed in the lower part of your back to approach the boy.

Dustin was limping, he later told you it was because of the fall when he went back to the Upside Down. You sat in an empty bed so you both could talk. Steve left you alone with Dustin, a young woman telling him he could help by folding clothes. The boy told you he had been helping there, what happened to his leg, and that Mr. Munson had been asking for you every day. You felt guilty, for not having talked to Dustin before and for not having, at least, called Eddie's uncle. Dustin's voice broke when he talked about Eddie, trying to comfort you somehow by telling you Eddie died like a hero. You also felt guilty for that. Dustin was there when Eddie died, he literally saw him dying in front of his eyes, yet there he was, consoling you. He stopped talking when he saw Mr. Munson entering the gym. You and Dustin got up, the old man quickly lying his eyes on you. He approached you, asked how had you been. You tried to not answer him by just using monosyllables but you felt like if you said anything else you'd start crying. When Mr. Munson was about to leave, he started digging in the pocket of his jacket.

Eddie's uncle handed you the guitar pick Dustin gave him.

"Mr. Munson, I can't. He was your nephew-"

"And you were his person. I'm sure Eddie would want you to have it." The necklace with his pick fell into the palm of your hand, feeling heavier than it should as your eyes filled with tears, but you did not get to cry in front of them. You apologize to Eddie's uncle for not being by Eddie's side when the earthquake happened, for not having made him see that this stupid town was not worth giving his life for. At least you now knew that he was not alone when he died which supposed a strong relief for your soul as you watched Dustin break down when he told you. But you didn't shed a tear, not in front of them. In the middle of this, some asshole from the basketball team you assumed, painted a pentagram and some horns and a tail on Eddie's poster. Mr. Munson was already taking out of his backpack another one to change the ruined poster. "May I?" You asked him. The man looking at you with sadness in his eyes as he nodded.

You knew the poster won't help. That as much as the cops looked for Eddie, they would never find him. But at least, with that poster there, they won't forget about him.

Dustin continued crying, the kid sobbing as you both looked at Eddie's photo on the poster. All you've ever dream about and planned with him was gone. You bit your lower lip when the first tears finally rolled down your cheek. You placed your hand on Dustin's head getting him closer to you as the boy wrapped his hands around you too.

It was the first time after Eddie's death that you were hugging someone and not being hugged.

DEPRESSION

Steve, Joyce, and Jonathan changed their whole work schedule after planning it thoroughly for you to not be alone at any time. You cried of sadness for the first time since Eddie died and you didn't stop for a pretty long time, your eyes getting a permanent shade of red. Your sobs could be heard throughout the house at night, Jim's light sleep making him walk to your room to find you curled up in your bed, almost choking on your tears and snots. "Come on, y/n." Hopper helped you to sit up on your bed, you being barely capable of keeping that posture for yourself. Jim took a tissue from your nightstand and blew your nose, and using his thumbs he wiped your tears. "We're gonna try to sleep, okay?" He sat on your bed with his back against the wall and hugged you against his chest, and using his hands, he caressed your hair and kept you close. "I miss him." You said between sobs. Hopper let out a sigh, hating to see you go through this while his big hand still working on your hair. "I know you do."

Steve always tried to have small gestures with you like buying you your favorite flowers and placing them in a vase next to your bed where you spent most of the day, renting movies for you in case you felt like watching one which never happened, cleaning your room. He just wanted to show you that life was still worthy of living. You hardly ate, not even your favorite dish whetted your appetite anymore, you would just sit at the table with your family, staring at the food on your plate. The feeling of emptiness never left, it was always there like some type of shadow that followed you everywhere. Sometimes that shadow was nice to you, letting you cry to sleep in between Steve's arms playing in your mind the happiest memories you had with Eddie, like watching him win his first D&D game, when he let you braid his hair, the joy on his face as he watched you try to play his guitar... But other times the shadow was mean, fastening your breath to the point you felt dizzy, drying your mouth and throat and making you feel helpless, like not even Joyce soothing words were useful anymore, not even Jonathan sneaking into your room and grabbing your hand as you cried your eyes out and not even Steve hugging you at night could replace the void that Eddie left in you.

Life was meaningless without him.

You were gonna graduate together. You were gonna walk that stage and snatch that diploma together. You were gonna live together, go to the beachside. He was gonna walk you down the aisle by the time you married and he was going to be the godfather of your children. He was going to be the cool uncle, the one that would buy them ice cream on the sly before having dinner, the one buying them their first guitar and teaching them how to play D&D. He was going to be the person you would entrust your children in case something happened to you and your husband. And now all of that was gone. You couldn't even think of a life without him. Like his uncle said, you were his person and Eddie was yours.

ACCEPTANCE

You had your first shower last night, you brushed your teeth, and had a proper dinner. Your mom kissing your forehead and Hopper lying his hand on your shoulder, both of them letting you know how proud they were of you. Now you were in front of your wardrobe, the bright colors of your spring clothes looking especially annoying to you.

You chose the long skirt he always laughed at. It was pink and he said you looked like a cupcake and that it hurt his eyes because it was 'awfully pink'. You also picked a white t-shirt, putting it on and inside of the skirt, you looked in the mirror. Your chest going up and down at a fast pace as you could see him lucidly behind you, teasing you by playing with your skirt. It was fun how when you wore that outfit, you looked like completly polar opposites.

"My baby. You are so pretty." Joyce fixed your hair and grabbed both of your cheeks to kiss your forehead, Hopper behind her showing you a big warm smile, agreeing with what Joyce was saying. Steve got up from the sofa the moment you went out of your room, his eyes never shone so brightly like they did when he looked at you. He had this expression of amazement on his face, you caught him looking at you from up to down, which was pretty intimidating you might say, to finally let out a 'woah' that made your cheeks and ears grow hot. Steve approached you, wrapping one of his arm around your waist and kissing your cheek. "You look beautiful." You showed him a little smile. "You do to." You murmured and melting under his hand holding your waist. "Okay, lovebirds. If you need anything, call me. I want her back at 10 pm." Joyce nudged Hopper in his ribs, shaking her head at Steve. "Don't listen to him. Just take care of her, okay?" Steve nodded showing a comforting smile to your mom that made her know that you would be fine with him. You hugged Joyce and Jim one last time. "Shall we go?" You nodded. Steve took your hand as you walked out of your house to his car.

Steve drove out of Hawkins, to the next town where he knew there was a fair taking place and where he made a reservation in the fanciest restaurant he could afford. He took you on the most idyllic date ever as he promised when he confessed his feelings for you before going to fight Vecna. Every time that he made you laugh during dinner, that you showed him that timid smile of yours, that he saw you eating, something inside his chest tickled. After all you've been through together, he still got nervous when your fingers brushed as you walked, you finally making the move and grabbing his hand, your fingers intertwining as he caressed your hand with his thumb. The fair was the loudest place you've ever been in months, the music rumbled inside your chest. Steve got you a big pink cotton candy that you ate while you watched him trying to win a teddy bear for you. You giggled at his defeated face when he didn't get it, assuring him that he did great and awarding his efforts by giving him a piece of your cotton candy and a quick peck on his lips that made Steve almost fall to his knees.

"Wait, are you leaving?" You asked confused when Steve was about to turn around after walking you to the door of your house. "Mmm... yeah." Steve put his hands inside his jeans pockets. "I don't think I can sleep without you." You confessed hugging yourself.

"Well, you've got a big day coming tomorrow. We should not take the risk of you not sleeping." You giggled.

Your graduation day finally came. You woke up that day feeling empty again, angry because you thought that sensation was gone. You escaped to the bathroom to cry before Steve opened his eyes. This was supposed to be your day. Eddie's and yours. But now you had to do it for both of you. Not only getting that diploma but also learning how to live with the emptiness. You had a shower, the hot water burning your shoulders as you tried to stop crying, but the sound of the water hitting the bathtub made it so easy to hide your sobs. Your gown was too big and you didn't like the cap, as El said, it made you look like a gnome but Steve thought you looked cute. He drove you, El, and Will to the high school, it was almost offensive how they managed to plan a whole graduation after all of this. Your mom had tears in her eyes during the whole ceremony and so you did; Joyce was so proud of her little girl graduating and you were so sad about doing it alone. As the principal gave his speech, you noticed how many empty chairs were around you, one for each of the dead and disappeared students. One of those chairs was right next to you, your eyes staring at the empty seat for a couple of seconds. They ended up focusing on the director's words again to not think about who should be sitting there. "Look at you. That gown is so ridiculous." You could hear his laugh, you could also see him from the corner of your eyes sitting next to you. Your breathing quickened, he felt so real. "You're wearing my pick." Eddie pointed out. You did, the little dark piece hanging from your neck in contrast with the bright color of your gown. "I miss you." You murmured, your eyes getting glossy with tears. "I can't do this without you, Eddie." Your voice could not be heard not even by you, your lips were moving without emitting any sound. "Of course you can. You'll learn how to." Tears started rolling down your cheeks, you thanked you were wearing no makeup. "I miss you too." Eddie confessed when he didn't receive an answer. "We didn't get to say our goodbyes."

"You weren't supposed to leave me." You mumbled between sobs. You caught the attention of the girl that was sitting behind you, she asked you if you were okay and offered you a tissue. You nodded and denied her offer by showing her a little smile. "I didn't run, y/n. I didn't run that time." Eddie sounded proud of himself. You bit your lip down. "Look, this is what you're gonna do. You're gonna snatch that diploma and your gonna live. For us. And I'm not leaving you, not now and not never. I'd be right next to you every day of your life, watching after you. You can consider me your guardian angel if you'd like but I don't think I'm getting any close to heaven." He let out a giggle. "You've been the greatest life partner I could've ever asked for. Please, live y/n." And then he disappeared. You turned your head to look at the chair next to you, empty again, when a gust of wind blew, it was soft, refreshing, it soothingly caressed your wet cheeks and it smelled like him.

You started doing what he said. The walk to get your diploma felt so long as you battled with your knees for them to not give up. Joyce and Hopper got up from their seats, their hands applauding at a scandalously fast pace, and Jonathan taking pictures of you with his best camera. You also could hear Steve's cheers from there, his hands on both sides of his mouth to project his voice louder. El and Will were also clapping their hands, big smiles on their faces. You took the guitar pick on your necklace and placed a kiss on the small object.

"This is for you, Eddie."

[redclercs]

DELICATE✰ CHARLES LECLERC.

INTERLUDE: this is why we can't have nice things.

— the one where everybody's waiting to see the fall out.

warnings: this is basically like the INTRO chapter with all media, we're going to pretend publications and broadcast timings are not mistaken or fake, okay? ok. am i myself if i don't mention taylor swift in every chapter? no. foul language.

masterlist ✢ next

By Tom Gill // June 23rd

Vic Presley confirms y/n hasn't reached out to her even after Vic called asked her to in a publication a few days ago.

"I think she has blocked my number by now," Presley said, "I am devastated by this. I didn't think it was like her to discard relationships so easily."

Presley and y/ln have been friends since 2020, when they met at the opening of the SENSE Club in downtown Los Angeles and quickly became inseparable.

"y/n really was— is my best friend. I miss her and I want her to come back to me."

Vic Presley also commented on y/n's split from Aidan Kim in her own way: "I hate that she hurt Aidan. I was not aware they had so many problems, that's definitely the kind of stuff you tell your best friend."

y/n was spotted just a week ago with alleged (and constantly denied) boyfriend, Charles Leclerc on a stroll around Central Park. Victoria Presley couldn't help but speak her mind on this.

"y/n has changed so much since she met that guy. I met him in Miami and Monaco, he's not one of the good ones. He's managing to isolate her from everyone who loves her."

Once again, Victoria urges y/n to contact her so they can rekindle their friendship. "I am not angry at her, disappointed maybe. But I will always have my arms open for her."

SEE ALSO:

→ Victoria Presley and Mia Kim collab in new project promoting Presley Beauty.

→ y/n y/ln, a disaster waiting to happen.

→ Aidan Kim is 'almost done' with debut solo album

By Paul Dean // June 28th

Aidan Kim has been in the spotlight since 2012, when he debuted as a member of boyband phenomenon Star-5 with their hit single "End Of The Day". After the band's dissolution in late 2018 due to creative differences between the members and rumored jealousy disputes that included Aidan himself, the Korean-American superstar decided to pursue a career in acting, in aims of expanding his horizons.

'Supercut' in 2019 was the start of a a succesful career followed by '1922' (2021) and 'Conversations with Friends' (2022) plus the series 'Crimes of the Academy' (2022) before Netflix decided to cancel it.

While it is true that 'Supercut' was a box office hit and sent Aidan Kim and co-star—and former partner—into a whole new level of stardom, Aidan Kim might be regretting ever making that movie.

"Supercut holds a special place in my heart," Aidan commented, politely. "It was my first real movie." Of course Aidan doesn't count the "3D Concert Experience" he starred with his other four bandmates as a real movie. "But I carry the consequences of making Supercut with me to this day."

The whole world is aware of such consequences, as y/n y/ln is keen on having the last word when it comes to the breakup from Kim. It wasn't enough to leave him humiliated by turning his marriage proposal down.

"Someone was looking out for me that night, I think," Aidan has tried his best to let go of such bitter memories by turning them into something positive. "At the end of the day, I'm glad y/n said no. I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with her. You're witnessing how unstable she is."

"It's quite shocking honestly," Aidan Kim didn't expect his ex-girlfriend to act like this. "I helped her however I could. Talked to producers, casting agents and journalists to give her a shot. And she says I never did anything for her."

Kim couldn't help but take the chance to refer to his ex's new lover: "But I've moved on. And I hope she does the same soon. If I were Charles Leclerc, I'd be worried my new girlfriend is thinking about her ex-boyfriend so often."

Lastly, Aidan teased his upcoming album, "I've worked very hard on it. I missed making music and I hope you'll like this new sound I'm trying after leaving Star-5's commercial music behind."

"The thing about music, is that it lets you tell your side of the story too. I hope you support a man doing this the same way you root for Taylor Swift, because double-standards are so 'in' right now."

SEE ALSO:

→ Mia Kim, the talented sister of Aidan Kim, set to make big screen debut.

→ Were Mia Kim and Victoria Presley mocking y/n y/ln in new Youtube Video?

→ Mia Kim: "y/n should have kept her mouth shut, there's still shit to be exposed about her."

FROM THE DREW BARRYMORE SHOW — JULY 6TH

[Y/N]: ❝(...) What matters to me right now, is that people now I am nothing of what they're calling me. I am not perfect, nobody is. But I have never cheated on a partner or used someone else as a 'toy' and most importantly, I built my own career.❞

[Y/N]: ❝It gets exhausting, you hear things about yourself you never even thought possible. It could be laughable if it wasn't so cruel❞

[Y/N]: ❝My relationship ended in February, but I believe it was over way before that. I acted in a way that was not fair to my ex-partner nor to myself, and I expressed my regrets about it. He had the right to not accept my apology, but not to make stuff up about the whole situation.❞

[Y/N]: ❝He's feeding his ego, he's a man, after all. But doing it at the expense of my work and my reputation is disgusting. I want one producer or casting agent to come forward and say they gave me a role thanks to my ex-boyfriend's input, just one.❞

[Y/N]: ❝I have surrounded myself with different people. They have been a great support system, always motivating me, and holding me back when I'm about to do something stupid. This also means I have left some people out of what's going on with me, and it's for the best.❞

[Y/N]: ❝Taylor Swift, bless her soul, has given me a lot of advice. She's the sweetest person ever and since the same guy that is trying to drag me has gone after her in a few interviews, she wants this to be over as much as I do. I think he made a mistake by messing with Taylor too.❞

[Y/N]: ❝Rumors will keep running, but I am finally at peace with knowing who I am and who I can trust. But those 'sources' should know my patience is running out.❞

By Jenny Highland // July 20th

Mia Kim and Victoria Presley are the hottest topic right now, but not for the reasons both influencers wish, as they are in trouble!

Both Los Angeles locals have received a 'Cease and Desist' letter from recovering actress y/n y/ln this week, per her team's advice. This was confirmed by both Presley and Kim on Twitter, saying they are 'flabbergasted' that y/n is accusing them of defamation.

While y/n is far from gaining her place back in the public's heart, we are not blind to what Victoria and Mia have done for the past month, riding the wave to get views and followers talking about their shared time with y/n. Who has every right to ask them to stop, as she has done in several interviews throughout the month.

For many people, this makes it more evident that it was either Presley or Kim who contacted tabloids to get their five minutes of fame and sink y/n deeper.

Actions have consequences for everyone, and if y/n decided to pick this fight at this point in her downfall/rerise/wherever it is that we are with her, it's because she knows she can win, right?

─── team principal radio: ❝thank you for reading! please let me know your thoughts! I know I'm ending your patience with this slow burn thing but I promise you we're getting there! Charles is back next chapter and you'll see haha. again, your interactions mean the world to me and i'm sorry if sometimes i don't reply to your comments, i'm just awkward but i love you all♡❞

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[yorshie]

I can't stop thinking about this but...

I had a vision of the Bayverse turtle bros looking at their love after a really tough battle where they thought they'd die and when they find each other again its like the biggest bear hug and a face grab with them saying "Oh my god I'm so glad your okay I could just marry you!"

I know it's really a stretch since they could just say 'kiss you' but its my fantasy. I couldn't get it out of my mind!

Anyways I hope your having a wonderful Holiday and heres to a Happy New Year!

Hello! This got buried in my inbox, I'm so sorry, but I'm so glad you sent it in (i am a terrible person I'm so sorry you've probably been wondering where this was)

Oh My God I could totally see all four of them doing something like this. Just the spontaneous "I almost died here's my last name" and then run off without even getting an answer because there's still bad guy butts to kick and cities to save.

Leo would feel embarrassed about it later, would totally pull the whole holding a formal full bodied bow while begging for forgiveness moment. Silly turtle, we'll just have to tell him the answer was always gonna be yes. He'll go silent at the answer then start Panicking even more. (good panic. but he's gonna panic)

Raph would 100% pretend that it never happened. Nope. That sounds crazy couldn't have been me. Dunno what you're talkin 'bou- wait.... you said yes!?! You'll marry me!?! Cue he just spends a long time resetting and staring at you like you've lost your marbles. Secretly though inside he's fucking doing the conga out of excitement.

Donnie brings it up at a later date, curious if you held it against him or not. Clearly you're still talking to him though so it must not have been accepted too badly. Hm? You do want to marry him? Oh, well.... here's a list of themes he likes and his favorite colors and he's already found a place that does custom no questions asked tuxes and would you be ok with his brothers being his best men and can splinter officiate-

The moment Mikey's done saving the day, he's back at it. "Later, bros, gotta go get my answer from angelcakes! They're tots gonna say yes though so everyone get ready to act really surprised when we announce it later tongiht, kay? Later dudes!"

[bluehourbucky]

Truth or Dare with Yelena that Kate sets up because she's tried of Yelena and Reader acting like they don't have a crush on one another?

As always, no pressure to write this heheh

Backfire

warnings: use of Y/N twice

a/n: sorry it took me so long shdhdud Hope you like it <3

_______________________________________

Kate was getting tired of watching you and Yelena pretend that you don't like each other. She was sick of the heart eyes and dancing around each other and the tension was getting worse by the minute.

She loved her friends but damn was it hard to watch.

Every time she'd spend alone time with either of you, you both talked about the other. Kate didn't mind but she also thought it was absolutely ridiculous.

Every time Kate tried to tell one of you how you liked each other she would receive laughs from you and a push from Yelena.

So she came up with a plan. Kate will invite you to hang out as you always do, but then she'd suggest a truth or dare game. She knew Yelena enough that there was no way she wouldn't accept truth or dare game she was too competitive. Kate still isn't sure how you can win a truth or dare game but whatever.

kate: tonight my place 9pm we order in?

you: ur paying?

yelena: if u pay?

parker: broke af u need to pay

Kate rolled her eyes at her friends.

kate: ok

you: ur the best love you <3

yelena: be there

Kate rolled her eyes at her friends, but her plan was in motion.

"Hi" Kate smiles when she sees that you and Yelena came together.

"Wait I'm here too!" the three of you turn and look at Peter running up the stairs.

The four of you were hanging out for a while and Kate was sure now was the time to get her plan in motion.

"What do you think should we play truth or dare?"

"Ugh we're not kids!" you groan.

"Ah, scared of a little dare?" Yelena teases, and you push her lightly, rolling your eyes.

"It's on Belova."

"Alright, let's go"

Not wanting to seem obvious, Kate avoided asking you questions about Yelena and vice versa. But now it's Kates' turn again, and she's ready to help her friends finally get together.

"So Yelena, Truth or Dare?"

"Ah I will choose Truth now."

"Do you have a crush on anyone here?"

"Nope, never."

"Not even Y/N?" and then your heart broke when Yelena made a face of disgust.

"Eww. Never in a million years that's gross. It's like liking your sister or even worse." as soon as those words left Yelena, she regretted them seeing your face.

"Wow, I didn't know I was that hard to like that even the thought of liking me disgusts you." You stand up, wiping tears off of your cheeks running straight to the bathroom.

"Y/N, wait, please." Yelena follows you and knocks on the closed door.

"Shit I'm sorry I didn't think this would happen." Yelena looks back at Kate and lifts a brow.

"What do you mean?"

Kate avoids eye contact, feeling extremely guilty that she caused this.

"I-, well- you see, I just wanted to make you confess that you like each other because you do. I just wanted to help."

Yelena swore something in russian and told Kate to give them a minute.

"Hey. Can you open the door?"

You don't reply, but you know Yelena is still at the door. The tears are still falling, and you're getting really frustrated because why does it matter anyway? The "what ifs" can now leave your brain. All the daydreams and dreams can finally stop. So what if you've dreamed about kissing her under the rain, that's lame. You'll get over it, it's fine.

"Ask me again." Yelena tries.

"What?" you ask your voice breaking.

"Truth or dare."

"Fine, truth or dare."

"Truth."

You take in a breath.

"Is if true that you can't even imagine liking me? Am I really that unlikeable?"

"дорогой, you are the most incredible person I've ever met. There's not a part of you that I don't like, and your smile makes my day. In fact, you're too good to be true. I've been falling in love with you since the moment we met and and I didn't want to ruin our friendship because I'm selfish and I need you."

Yelena gasps when you suddenly unlock the door and pull her into the bathroom pushing her against the same door she was behind moments ago.

You look into Yelenas' eyes and then drop your gaze to her mouth and then back at her waiting for consent.

She nods, and that's all you need to finally kiss her. It's even better than all the dreams you've had because it's real. Yelena grabs the back of your head, deepening the kiss. You've put everything into that kiss all the bottled up emotion that's been buried for way too long.

You don't pull away until you're breathless.

"Wow." Yelena whispers, her hands holding your hips so you don't move away.

"Yeah."

"We should've done that long time ago."

you laugh at Yelenas' words because it's true, if both of you were just a tad bit less oblivious this could've happened months ago.

"If it wasn't obvious I uh like you too."

"Eh, you could kiss me again just to be sure."

You roll your eyes but kiss her nonetheless.

"I get the credits for this!" Kate yells from the other side of the door, which makes you both snort.

[the end]

[lost-walmartbag]

Stan X Reader S2 Pt. 7

Warning: N/A

Background: Making a game plan and step one

Status: Ongoing

Previous part

Next part

'Game plan'

While you had no idea what you were doing and had no way of knowing if planning would help you at all you still decided, after your 4th glass of wine, to figure out the best course of action.

So here you are in the kitchen scribbling down things on the whiteboard on the kitchen. Kyle was watching you quietly trying to pretend as if he was fully understanding everything you were mumbling to yourself.

"Ok so." You said pointing to a stick figure drawing you made in the top corner. "This is Sarah."

"Yeah...um I can definitely see the resemblance," Kyle said in a deadpan voice.

"We do what's best for her always. So I wrote a five-step plan." You said tapping the end of your marker on the list string of words next to the number one. "Step one. I reach out to Stan and talk in private. I make sure he's good for Sarah to be around, we work around his schedule"

Kyle nodded and you continued on, so distracted you didn't feel him taking away your glass of wine.

"Step two. We slowly introduce Stan to Sarah but we don't tell her right away who he is."

"I trust your judgment but is that best?" Kyle asked raising a brow.

Your brows knit together as you look over at him. "Yes. Look I know Stan came all the way here the second he found out and that should prove how into this he is, but what if after two playdates he decides it all too much and disappears again? Then I have to explain to Sarah why her dad doesn't want her"

"He will want her though. There's no doubt about it. You know I have criticized Stan for years, but I'm vouching for him. How many times is she going to be with him until you tell her?" Kyle's voice was soft and while you know he didn't mean any harm by it, it stung a bit.

You let out a sigh and run a hand through your hair. "I was thinking a few months but now that you say it like that it sounds stupid."

You felt like a child who was just told by the teacher that the math problem they answered was wrong. Sure you weren't operating on your normal 100% sober mind but this plan was still good. But Kyle was right and you hated admitting it.

"If you think you should do it, do it." He said with a shrug and paused knowing what your answer would be, because that stupid look in his eyes was already there.

"Fine. Two weeks. Minimum." You said turning back to the board but even with your back turned you could hear him smirking. "Step three. They go on one outing alone together. After which we will ask Sarah what she thinks and if she comes back in one piece, he has my full trust."

"Sounds good," Kyle said with a nod. "What's four and five?"

"If Stan makes it past three, then we are going to lay down even more rules." You said biting the inside of your cheek, preparing to say what you want out loud. "I don't want him bringing other women around her."

"Why?" Kyle didn't sound curious when he asked it. It was more of a question he asked just to hear you say your answer out loud. Not because he didn't know it, but because he was making sure you did.

You take a shaky breath and look down at your feet, god you need to get your toes done. "I... I can't trust them. I don't know what they'll be like. What if they do stuff around her that I don't want to happen?"

"And?"

"...and what if Sarah likes being around them? What if Sarah likes them more than me and wants to be with Stan more and he ends up fighting for custody or something and wins because he has like a gorillion dollars and I still drive a crappy honda civic." You're a bit out of breath from pushing all of those words out as fast as you could, but Kyle still doesn't seem satisfied.

"And what if... Stan likes them? What he marries them and every time Stan gets to be alone with Sarah... they get to be a family together." You whisper as if it was some shameful secret you didn't want anyone to know about.

"OK," Kyle said, finally satisfied. "Step five?"

"Step five... we tell Sarah that Stan is her dad and she gets to choose how often they see each other." You said finally looking back at him.

He was watching you closely. It was humbling in a way, but when he gave a small smile and a thumbs up you knew he would support your plan. "So when do we start?"

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

"Ok, maybe this was a bad idea." You whisper to Kyle as you take a huge step back from the hotel room door. "You know I don't have good ideas when I'm drunk, why would you let me do this? Why are you encouraging this."

"I'm starting to understand why you never dated," Kyle said rubbing his temple. "Look you're a grown woman. Put on your big girl pants and knock already."

"He has to be sleepy I wouldn't want to bother him, plus what if he already checked out and isn't even here anymore and the second I knock an old man in his underwear comes out and starts yelling at me and-"

Before you could finish your rambling Kyle knocked on the door loudly and then ran down the hall, not even stopping to give you a second glance. You were frozen stuck in place and once your brain finally comprehended what was going on, the door was already opening. Maybe if you stand still he won't see you?

A sudden whiff of aftershave and mint hit you. Stan was standing there in a scratchy bathrobe, his hair wet and perfect water droplets dripping down his neck. His blue eyes ran down your body and then up to your face. He blinked a few times as you gathered the courage to say something.

"H-hey.."

SMACK

You look up seeing the moment his hand makes contact with his own face. You gasp and immediately start stroking his cheek. "Why the fudge would you do that?"

He stares down at you a small smile on his lips. "I'm not dreaming."

"You smacked yourself to see if you were dreaming or not? God, you're so dumb." You scolded gently pushing him into the room and closing the door behind you. "I swear do you think before you do anything?"

"Not most of the time, no." He said still staring at you with that stupid smile on his face. Suddenly his eyes widened and he gently grasped your shoulders. "Wait why are you here? Is everything all right? I-is Sarah ok? Does she need a kidney? I-i have two!"

"What? No. God just-" You said with an exasperated sigh. You guided him to his bed and sat him down.

He didn't seem thrown off by it. You could probably twist him like a pretzel and he'd stay that way until you told him to untangle. You took a step back and stood in front of him.

"We need to talk. Last time we got nowhere. This time Sarah isn't here so if you want to yell at me go ahead." You said closing your eyes and taking a deep breath.

"I'm not going to yell at you. I'm sorry I did last time." You opened your eyes seeing Stan looking down at his hands in his lap as he continued. "I was angry. I was upset, but you're the mother of my child and I shouldn't have treated you that way."

He should apoligize, but why is this apology making your stomach cartwheel and move around like it's on an episode of Dance Moms? You rub your sweaty palms on your jeans and nod.

"I'm sorry too. It was a lot all at once and I don't blame you for being upset." You said softly looking down at the ground.

Everything the past few days has made you feel like a child and this doesn't help.

"I just want what's best for everyone. If that means getting on a plane and never stepping foot back here again, I'll do it." He said biting the inside of his cheek.

"I... I don't want that Stan. I want... I want to try to make this work." You said sitting down on the bed next to him and staring at the white wall across from you. "I was thinking last night. It would have killed me if Sarah looked at me and just... didn't know who I was."

"It was so hard. She's so big already." He said with a small sniffle and it just broke your heart.

"I'm so sorry Stan." You said in a shaky voice. "You would have been a great father and I had no right to keep that from you."

"I understand why you did. It's all my fault." He said and the floodgates immediately opened for both of you.

"You're here now and I want to make it right. You put your life on hold the second you found out and that means so much. For years I didn't know how you'd react and I was so terrified you wouldn't want us." You said trying to wipe as many tears as you could, but they wouldn't stop.

"There was never a day in my life where I didn't want you Y/N... and now with Sarah." He said choking on a sob. "I don't know if I could breathe without you both."

Grieving would be the best way to describe what's happening. You both lost so much. So much time together. So much time trying to function as anything that resembled a family. Every major first, Stan missed out on killed you but sitting here you can see he felt the same.

His hand reaches for yours and you don't stop him. As your fingers intertwine you know this is where they're supposed to be, filling in the gaps of his.

A/N: I'm sorry ok? I'm so burnt out but I really love doing these I just have no time. I'm trying to do better but I make no promises. I love you all so much thank you for being so patient you have no idea what it means to me. Especially @nwjn-z they are so sweet every time I come back. I literally love you sm. Thank you guys so much for reading I love every single one of you 🩵🩵🩵

Taglist: @jessiegerl @corpseinpink

[hornystiel]

fics about bruce and harvey? 👀 i am so very intrigued, please tell me more

ok SO. (sorry i'm still excited so this can be long) i read the comics ones (while devouring the gist about them in different comics through tumblr osmosis and memes and relying on my previous dc knowledge) aand they are..very interesting. the thing about them is that they are bitter exes (who may or may not really hooked up in the past but were very close and now are definitely divorced) but who still care about each other. well bruce def still cares about harvey and two face. harvey is...reluctant (the whole thing with harvey not thinking he deserves to be saved, yes). and his dark side mostly hates both bruce and batman and doesn't trust them. which is another interesting thing about them and their 'other sides'. there are basically FOUR different relationships going. batman, two-face (harvey's criminal side and his personality), harvey and bruce. because in half the cases two face doesn't know batman's identity. and all of them have beef and tension. both the angry one and sexual. so it's really interesting how they can coexist and do shit with/to each other. one of the tags i saw was Romantic Face Punching and yeah. yeah.

ALSO there's one fic where bruce is undercover as another criminal dude named matches (i'm a bit all over the place with the comics) and basically hires himself to help harvey in his criminal activities to check on harvey from time to time. and like!! basically bruce isn't either truly himself or batman and harvey, who's instantly figured him out, is like huh. i have angst with bruce and rage with batman but he's neither rn. sure i'll bite. and they communicate by PRETENDING they don't know who they are. and two face is..mostly quieter when matches!bruce is around and harvey is like ??? and this is so good because all the layers of pretending and not being themselves is so them. and harvey doesn't use a coin when deciding things about bruce! twice! also harvey is so vulnerable when he strips for the first time in front of him help

the fic if you're interested

the other fics (i read only explicit fics sorry) were like 'ok we hook up ONCE and it's not PERSONAL' and then well :) it's angsty and too personal anyway

also this happened

two face was like 'if harvey can't say he has a thing for choking and gay thoughts about batman i may very well do him a service while said batman tries to choke me in an alley'. harvey once he's in charge: 'god fucking dammint'. sorry i know it's evil but it was funny gdgdh

anyway i didn't read much (i was doing it at work rip) but they are so unwell and also sad drama queen puppies

i was never interested in other batman ships except for batcat so i think i've finally found my niche thank you misha collins and jackles. again. the first thing i saw with twobats where i thought 'hmm very fruity' was a cartoon with jensen voicing bruce and him and harvey being very cozy with each other <3 when they still worked together and harvey didn't know who batman was

ANYWAy thank you for coming to my insane rambling ted talk i will probably be insane about them in the foreseeable future

[madiomens]

Just Pretend [n.s.]

Chapter Nine

It's as if the more sex Noah and I have the more possessive he gets.

Almost the entire show the next night I could feel his stare on the side of my face as I worked. Anytime a crowd surfer got close to hitting me when going over the barricade his voice would waver as he sang until he knew I was ok.

Not that I'm complaining or anything. It's hot.

After the show we had to break down the equipment and load it before going back to the Airbnb to pack our stuff and head to the airport so we could make it to The UK. The packing the Airbnb part took a little longer than planned when Noah fucked the life out of me on the bathroom counter while the guys packed the house.

Once again, not that I'm complaining or anything.

It was just an hour long flight, for which we slept all of, and we landed in London at 6 AM after sitting in the airport for three hours. We had another Airbnb for the four days we would be here and had early check in so we went straight to the house to unload everything and knock out for some hours. 

Around 1 PM we all emerged from our rooms still groggy with stomachs growling to try and search for some food. The Airbnb provided some snacks and groceries so Noah and I whipped up more "family noodles" as they called it. We sat around the large couch silently munching on the food and trying to wake up more so we could go by the venue to begin setting up for the shows there.

Our bedrooms weren't connected with bathrooms unlike the other Airbnb so I made my way to the bathroom in the hall to take a quick body shower from sleeping and traveling. I went to close the door when Noah's tattooed hand stopped it so he could slide in with me. My eyes widened as he shut the door behind him and I grabbed his arm.

"Noah, this is not our bathroom anymore. They'll see us leave together." I whispered.

He shrugged. "We will just tell them I had to pee or something."

"When there's three other bathrooms?" I said deadpan.

He nodded. "Or," he started, slowly placing his hands on my waist. "we could tell them we were having hot passionate sex in the shower."

I snorted a laugh and wrapped my arms around his waist. "Not happening. We have thirty minutes before we have to leave and I need an actual shower." I said through quiet laughter as he attacked my neck.

He groaned against my shoulder and picked his head up to drop it backwards against the door, causing me to chuckle at him. "Hey." I said, raising my hand to put on his cheek and causing him to look down at me. "Come here, you needy man." I said, pulling his face down to mine.

He placed his hands on my cheeks as our lips met, slowly moving against each other's. I pulled away and met his eyes with my own, bringing a hand up to rub his cheek. "You are something else." I said with a breathy laugh.

"I think you like me, though." He said with his own breathy laugh.

I shrugged. "You're alright." He dramatically gasped as I pulled away to start the shower, causing me to laugh as I started taking my clothes off. "If you can behave I'll let you shower with me."

I couldn't even finish my sentence before he was stripping his clothes off as well before hurrying to me and picking me up once I was naked, causing me to smack my hand over my mouth to quieten the laugh that escaped me. 

The shower consisted of me swatting his hand away from my ass and boobs, bribing him with being able to wash my body if it meant we were on time to the venue. We rushed to dry off and get dressed before preparing to head out with the rest of the guys. This show doesn't have VIP but the guys do perform tonight so we had to rush to set up. I grabbed my makeup and my concert clothes, stuffing them in a bag and deciding to let my hair dry into its natural waves before we were heading out of the house and into the van.

We pulled up to the venue and greeted some of the fans before we rushed inside to set up the stage and do a soundcheck. Matt and everyone else had already begun setting up so we jumped in to help finish everything. While the boys did a soundcheck I sat criss cross on one of the boxes and started doing my makeup, swaying back and forth to the songs they were singing. I finished up my makeup and headed backstage to change as they wrapped up their singing, joining me backstage so they could also change. I quickly pulled on my clothes and put my hair into two buns on top of my head.

"How cute are you." Folio said as I walked out of the bathroom.

I laughed and did a dramatic spin. "Why, thank you kind sir."

Noah walked around the corner wrapping his hands and lifted his head to look at me, pausing his actions."Hi, Maddie."

The corner of my mouth twitched. "Hi, Noah."

"You look good." He said, eyes roaming over my body even though my oversized flannel covered most of it. I tend to wear flowy items on my top to cover my stomach.

I chewed on my lip to hide a smirk. "Thank you. Need some help with that?" I questioned, gesturing to his hand wraps.

He smirked. "You know how to wrap hands?"

I cocked a brow at him and walked up to continue wrapping the hand he was working on. "Can't be much different than wrapping a sprain."

I noticed him watching me intently from my peripheral vision and I cleared my throat to get my focus back, forcing myself not to look up at him. I secured the wrap and put my hand out for his other hand, making the mistake of meeting his eyes with my own. I swallowed as a jolt shot through me at the intensity of his gaze. My fingers grazed the back of his hand as I began to wrap it, not breaking our eye contact. I worked off muscle memory of the many wraps I'd done while working in the ER as his gaze darkened more the longer we held eye contact. A camera flash broke my eye contact and I blinked harshly, not realizing how dry my eyes had gotten. 

I looked over at Bryan who was grinning at his camera. "You two are about to break the internet with this picture. Even more so than the ones I posted of Maddie."

He brought the camera over as I quickly finished Noah's last wrap, giving his hand a slight squeeze before dropping it. Bryan turned the screen around to show us the picture he took. Noah and I were intently staring at each other as I cradled his hand in mine, the tension surrounding us jumping through the screen.

"Hot." Folio said as he poked his head between us to look at the picture. "Maddie, your eye contact is enough to make a person sweat."

I laughed and bumped his shoulder with mine before turning around to grab my perfume out of my bag and spray a couple spritz's, taking the time to take a slow deep breath to calm down my heartbeat. I fastened my bag and walked over to the guys to wish them luck for the show. They all gave me hugs, Folio picking me up off the ground and causing me to laugh. He set me down and pat my head before I turned to Noah, wrapping my arms around his waist for a hug. He wrapped his arms around me tightly, resting his chin on the top of my head as his scent engulfed me. I took a deep breath through my nose, taking in as much of his cologne as I could and holding him tightly a big longer than I did the other guys before forcing myself to pull away. He looked as if he didn't want the hug to end either when I looked up at him. 

I reached up and pinched his chin with a grin. "Good luck out there."

He grinned down at me. "You too. Be safe. Watch out for crowd surfers and drunk idiots."

"You kidding me? That's a normal shift in the ER." I said with a chuckle.

He laughed and squeezed my shoulder before I turned away and make my way in front of the barricade. I smiled at the security guards standing around before checking on everyone at the barricade as the room filled up. A few girls asked to take pictures with me and I happily obliged, still not used to people asking me for pictures. It's funny to me. The tour nurse getting thrown into pictures just because I know the band.

The opening acts performed without a hitch and before I knew it, the crowd was deafeningly loud as the boys began walking onto stage. They made it to the brief intermission and I made my way across the barricade, handing out waters and cool packs to whoever needed them. The boys began filing back onto stage as I handed out another water, grinning and clapping with everyone. 

A girl was fanning herself with her poster a couple people down from me so I made my way over to her to see if she needed a water or cool pack. "Hi! Care for some water?" I questioned, holding the bottle up.

She looked me up and down with disgust. "Get out of my way, you fat pig. I can't see."

I cocked a brow at her as people surrounding us began to exclaim in protest at her words.

"Hey!" Noah's voice shouted over the mic, causing me to jump and turn to face him. "If you think you can treat Maddie like that and get to stay at our show then you are mistaken. Who the fuck do you think you are?" He said angrily into the mic. The girl's face drained of color as she stared up at him, stuttering over her words. "Get her the fuck out of here." He said to security, crouching down so he could stare the girl down until she was escorted out. The crowd cheered around us as she was removed, the people at the barricade apologizing for something that wasn't their fault.

I laughed and nodded at them, the rude girls words not fazing me one bit. Noah jumped down off the boxes in front of the stage to stand in front of me. "You okay?" He said, rage on his face. 

I nodded and pat his chest. "Nothing I haven't been called before." I said with a grin. He shook his head and clenched his jaw, anger still seeping out of his pores. "Hey," I said, getting him to look in my eyes. "I'm fine. Promise. Now get back to your show." I said, reaching around and smacking his ass, causing everyone around us to laugh.

He nodded and hopped back up on stage, grabbing his mic stand to place it in front of him. "If anyone has anything else to say to Maddie that isn't respectful, feel free to go through me. I don't put up with that shit." He said, the crowd cheering at his words.

I chuckled and shook my head at him before making my way back to the box I normally sit on. The rest of the show went off without a hitch and I took a couple more pictures with people before walking backstage to meet the guys. I was instantly tackled with a sweaty group hug, causing my nose to scrunch up at the smell of them.

"You guys smell like shit." I said through laughter as they rubbed their sweaty bodies dramatically on me.

"You should've socked that girl in the face." Folio said, causing Nicholas and Jolly to agree as they pulled away from the hug.

I laughed. "If I punched every catty girl in the face anytime they were rude to me then I would never stop punching people. It's hard to hurt my feelings."

The guys kept shoveling out the possible scenarios of me kicking that girls ass as I roamed my eyes around the room, looking for Noah. I noticed the bathroom light was on and the door was cracked so I made my way over to it, softly knocking. I pushed it open to see Noah bracing himself on the sink, hanging his head and staring at his hands. I turned around to make sure the guys were still preoccupied before slipping in behind him and firmly shutting the door. He lifted his head up to look at me through the mirror before his eyes widened and he quickly turned around, placing his hands on my cheeks.

"I am so sorry about earlier. I promise not all of our fans are like that. You should've punched the twit in her face." He rushed out, eyes roaming over my face.

I laughed and placed my hands on his. "I promise I'm fine. That's the first rude fan of many nice ones I've met. And definitely not the worst thing I've been called in my life."

He sighed deeply, closing his eyes and calming his anger down. I placed my hands on his cheeks and watched his face as it softened under my touch, a soft smile appearing on my own face. I'd never had a man stick up for me as much as he did tonight.

His eyes slowly opened to meet mine, my smile widened. "You like me." I teased.

His face instantly turned red as he turned around so his back was to me. "Shut up."

I laughed and pat his back before grabbing his hand to turn him back around. I reached up to pull his face down to mine, placing my lips on his in a soft kiss before pulling away and smiling at him.

"It's okay, I might like you too."

[10pm-cafe-lattes]

rayllum + taylor swift

in honour of both speak now taylor's version and tdp s5 and that cute asf rayllum moment in the trailer, a list of lyrics from 4 speak now songs that match rayllum in my mind:

mine

made for them. the whole song. 'do you remember we were sitting there by the water / you put your arm around me for the first time' midnight oasis from season three. The Scene.

'i was a flight risk with a fear of falling / wondering why we bother with love if it never lasts' rayla. that's all. season four and also poor girl's family situation.

'you made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter' runaan's not really careless but like i'm JUST SAYING

'you are the best thing that's ever been mine' speaks for itself. 'what we had was something special' 'you are the best thing i ever had' RAYLAAAAAA

ok i could do a whole essay on that song by itself but like

go listen it's Them

2. sparks fly

'drop everything now, keep me in the pouring rain / kiss me on the sidewalk, take away my pain' ahem. if this isn't rayla to callum. i don't know what is. he dropped everything to help her return zym to xadia, they had that heartfelt moment in the rain with the lightning strike-

'get me with those green eyes, baby, as the lights go down' self explanatory.

'gimme something that'll haunt me when you're not around' CALLUM. SEASON FOUR. NEED I SAY MORE?

'i'm on my guard with the rest of the world / but with you, i know it's no good' season four. callum asks /rayla/ for help with the whole 'if i'm possessed' thing and rayla lets down her guard to talk to him while he's asleep.

3. long live

'you held your head like a hero / on a history book page' 'it was the end of a decade / but the start of an age' end of season three. the way they hold hands and look so proud and zubeia looks at them like 'god damn how long was i asleep'

'long live the walls we crashed through / all the kingdom lights shine just for me and you' they crashed through the boundaries between humans and elves, katolis and xadia, and duren and katolis came through for them in the s3 battle.

'long live all the mountains we moved / i had the time of my life fighting dragons with you' not dragons, but like, they definitely had a very amazing journey and rAYLA SAYS HE WAS THE BEST THING IN HER LIFE OKAY I'M NOT OVER IT

'bring on all the pretenders, one day / we will be remembered' them against the world... they'll be remembered as the human mage and the last dragonguard... my heart...

4. back to december

or, rayla @ callum after season 4 i'm right and you know it. i don't even need to explain these lyrics.

'so this is me swallowing my pride / standing in front of you saying i'm sorry for that night' episode two.

'it turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you / wishing i'd realised what i had when you were mine'

'when your birthday passed and i didn't call' (eyes callum)

okay this one just makes me sad

i couldn't think of a 5th... if you can add it. pls. look i was listening to speak now taylor's version over and over again and then i realised it was Them

[autogeneratedkahootnickname]

Ok long post buckle in.

I have a friend who's super into theme parks. Or rather, the thrill of a theme park. She's a rollercoaster person. And to this end, she asked if I wanted to take a day trip to one of the more intense regional British theme parks, Thorpe Park, just outside London.

I am not a theme park person. I am deathly afraid of heights, high speeds, drops and helplessness. All of which are fairly core elements of a theme park.

However, I love my friend dearly, so I take her up on it. Best way to conquer your fears is to face them etc.

So Thorpe Park has 5, what I will charitably call, 'nightmare coasters' (in my opinion there are a couple others that fit the bill like Rush, Samurai and Detonator, not really 'rollercoasters' but equally horrifying) that are the main attraction of the park:

1. Swarm:

2. Colossus:

3. Nemesis Inferno:

And 4. Saw

(I could only find a picture of the outdoor lifthill, there's a lot happening in the woods and inside the warehouse too. You get the general idea.)

These are the four rides that I agree to push myself to go on and get our money's worth.

But wait, keen-eyed readers may be wondering, I thought you said there were 5 nightmare coasters! What happened to the fifth one?

Well, there was one of the five that I had ruled out under any circumstances:

5. Stealth

Needless to say, fuck that.

However, my friend loves rollercoasters. And one of her favourites there is, of course, Stealth. So after we've ridden Swarm, I decide, while she's waiting for Stealth, that I'll get something else done instead. A smaller thrill before we move on to Colossus. So I head over to the Walking Dead dark ride.

The Walking Dead ride is a heavily story-driven ride about the park being overtaken by Zombies: you make your way though dark corridors to the ride inside, then afterwards you make your way out through a series of passages on the other side, also in near-complete darkness.

I do the ride, and it's fine. Having just done Swarm it was comparably a lot more chill, but it had some cool ambience. I don't, however, do what the people I was riding with did and use the props (ramps, handrails) to do cool parkour sequences: running, jumping, acting like you're really escaping zombies, if only pretending, on the way back out. I mean, they were there for a reason ig, even if I felt a bit self-conscious doing it in an empty room. I'm naturally fairly lawful and it was still early in the day, so I wasn't in a parkoury mood at the time, but I wanted to make the most of the day. So I thought, when I ride this again with my friend later, I'll ask her to do the jumping and running with me and it'll be a blast.

So I head back to Stealth, she's had a wonderful time, and we then spend the next five or so hours exploring the rest of the park: it's a wonderful day, I mostly get over my fear of rollercoasters (to the creators of SAW, FUCK you but you got me good), but we're in the denouement and in the mood for something a little less intense. So I say, hey, did you wanna try the Walking Dead thing?

She said yes, so we headed over. It was way busier than it had been at like 10:30, so they were more focussed on getting people through than doing the whole show thing, but we stumble through the passages at the start and make our way to the ride. It's a blast, have a marvellous time. And then we depart.

And I say 'hey, remember to do the fun parkour stuff on the way out!'

So we head out into the passages.

And as it turns out.

When I had first done the ride, fairly early that morning, the purpose of the bars and handrails had been to pretend like you were fleeing from zombies.

As I discovered during my second ride that afternoon, you weren't meant to fucking pretend.

So you can imagine my reaction when, having departed through a series of empty tunnels that morning, this second run-through, with no advance warning, featured fucking zombie actors. Who fucking chased you. I don't deal well with heights.

So while I had planned to jump and climb and everything, I ended up just holding both hands up and going 'nope, nope, nope, nope' as I weaved my way around the bars.

Thankfully the cast members were super nice and, realising I was not taking this very well, nodded and let me pass (while still not breaking character which was extremely impressive). My friend, not having experienced the previously actor-less departure sequence, was, of course, having a MARVELLOUS time, and was somewhat confused as to why I was dry heaving on the floor on the way out.

To the people of Thorpe Park, 10/10, very cool, I hate all of you.

[sophasauras]

When lives combine

Chapter 1- The beginning

After, three hours of waiting around in a packed humid airport plus five and a half hours in the air, my flight from sunny Florida finally landed in very rainy Forks. As much as it sucks, I'm happy to have left my mom and her new fiancé behind for a while, to go and live with my older brother Jared in Lapush. I've really missed him, we text and FaceTime each other daily, but it's not the same than being physically with him. My father passed away which devastated my whole family. A few years later my Mom met her fiancé, which is great, I mean she deserves to be happy and she's now extremely happy with him. A few years after my Fathers passing, and once Jared was of legal age my Mom and her Fiancé made the decision to start fresh and move away to Florida, Jared decided to stay in Lapush but as I wasn't old enough to decide for myself, I had to go with my Mom and her Fiancé. My Mom and her fiancé have decided to move again after he was offered a new job somewhere in Texas so this time instead of moving away with them again i've decided to move back home . I'm honestly feeling really optimistic, looking forward to the new start, new memories and new adventures. There's definitely slight nerves mixed in there too though, being away from Mom, and plus I haven't physically been around my brother in forever.

Anyway, what was I meant to be doing again? Oh right, Jared, flight landed.

To J- Yoo J, I've just to get my case but yeah, i've landed! Where abouts are you??? x

From J- Yoooo baby sis, ok cool, just pulling up outside now, i'll be in, in a sec, grab your case then meet me by the door!

I grabbed my case and wheeled it carefully (to avoid running over a small child or knocking in to anyone around me) down the tiled floor of the airport towards the exit. Whilst I waited for Jared I couldn't help but look around me, it always amazes me, all the different families, friends or lovers who are reunited at airports from potentially different parts of the world. Some in tears, others hugging or holding hands. Maybe it's been weeks, months or even years since they've seen eachother, and yet today is the day they can finally be reunited again. Today was my day to, after years of being away from Lapush and Jared today was the day I was finally going to be reunited with my brother again.

Just as my eyes had spotted a very tempting vending machine I turned around to the sound of "CASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS" being shouted by a voice I could never forget even if I wanted to. "Oh my god, is that actually you?" He ran over to me, picked me up and I was spun around before set back down carefully to the floor. He grabbed my case for me and we headed towards his truck.

After finally getting out of airport car park we were finally on our way to Jared's. "So sis, i'm not gonna lie, i'm really happy you're here, i've really missed you being around." I stopped looking out at the rain "Yeah, honestly same here J, i've missed your annoying ass too, it's good to be here, it's strange, even though i've been with Mom, and we left a while ago, Florida has just never felt like home." He grinned, "Celebratory McDonalds?" I pretended to think about it, "I don't think i'll ever say no to a milkshake and nuggets." He laughed, and I did to before I went back to looking out my window.

Honestly came to the life conclusion that you can never go wrong with a strawberry shake and chicken nuggets. After we'd devoured our McDonalds we eventually made it back to Jared's where I was in my bedroom unpacking some of my things. Whilst doing so I realised how cold I was. Even though it was still the Summer, Lapush Summers were definitely alot colder than Florida Summers and I was already freezing, despite my waterproof coat and long sleeved top and leggings combo. I was glad to be out of the rain and in Jared's/my new home where it was warm, and a warm bath later sounded perfect. Something I'd noticed is that I had about four layers on, due to the fact that I was freezing, Jared however, had a literal tee-shirt on and was still roasting, when we hugged in the airport I swear I felt his body heat. There's no way that was normal. Was he sick and not telling me? Was I that used to hot Florida weather that slight rain made me freeing, and Jared being used to Lapush weather had adapted and that's why he was so warm? Was he on drugs? Was he a secret polar bear in disguise, and his body temperature helped adapt to survive in colder weather?

Honestly who knows with brothers, i'll question him later. I was so busy with all the thoughts going on I didn't hear the knock on my bedroom door. The door was open anyway, but it was nice that he still decided to knock in order to prevent me having a heart attack. He looked sheepish. "So Cass, I know you've literally just go here, and i'm sorry to be a shitty brother to do this on your first night here, but I sort of have a...a thing tonight, so i'll be away all night, will you be good here on your own?" Away all night, what? "Omg Jared, I can't believe you are doing this! ITS MY FIRST NIGHT BACK HERE AND YOU'RE DITCHING ME. ME. YOUR BABY SISTER." I pretended to be annoyed, which lasted for three seconds. "Chill J, i'm messing, ofcourse it's fine." I laughed at his facial expression. Once he realised I was laughing at him he laughed to. "Am I allowed to know where you're going? Work? You getting laid? Better not be ditching your baby sis for some chick." He looked at me dead in the eye "It's just work Cass, don't worry."

So, chapter 1 is done. This was like an intro chapter to his sister actually arriving in Lapush and a bit of backround on some things, more will be revealed in the story if you want me to continue with it. I'm so nervous about posting this. So yes, Jared's little sister is called Cassidy. She grew up in Lapush until her Dad passed and then moved away with her Mom and fiancé to Florida years ago, Jared was of legal age and decided to stay in Lapush instead. Cassidy is nearly finished high school, i'm saying nothing. Where was Jared off to hmmm? Why was he so hot? You and I know, Cass just dosen't know yet. Thanks for reading. Let me know if I should continue, as explained this was just like an intro chapter.

Word Count: 1028

[the-furies]

@white-boy-bracket hai. This is the thing we spent all fuckin day writing. Not posting to A03 bc A03 scares us [lighthearted]

Anyways chapters 1 & 2 under the cut of Harry's POV from whatever the fuck is going on, vaguely set after he got Revived™:

YOU – … What the fuck.

ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN – Welcome back to self awareness, fucko! How'd you sleep? Like shit, I bet?

YOU – Yeah, whatever just happened didn't feel good. Am I dead finally?

ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN – I'm afraid not, Harry boy. Though you *did* die, recently. Happened rather quickly, too. But that's neither here nor there.

ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN – What's important is that The Infernal Engine is once again up and running. And once it's up and running, *oh boy*, is it unstoppable! You are nigh impossible to defeat, Harry, and you are going to make it *everybody else's problem.*

YOU – What if I… Wanted it all to stop though? What if I'm tired?

ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN – Too bad! You had your chance when you actually died the first time, but some higher power still wants you around. Probably for the best. I bet whatever's going to happen next will be really...

Really...

… Funny.

YOU – … Okay. Sure. Can I go back to sleep, though? I'd like to pretend none of this is happening right now.

ANCIENT REPTILIAN BRAIN – Nope! You're gonna open your eyes and participate in this death match again whether you'd like to or not!

YOU – Wait, *death match*??

3…

YOU – Hey.

2…

YOU – *Hey.*

1…

YOU – Hey!! I don't want to do this!! Please let me sleep!! What the fuck!!!

Wake up.

////

VOLITION – Oh, no. Oh this fucking *sucks*, guys.

PERCEPTION [Trivial: Failure] – The hell do you mean. Is he not asleep?

HALF LIGHT – Nah. We're dead. This is hell. This is hell we're in. Awesome! Love that for us.

VOLITION – Can you like actually shut your mouth for 5 seconds for once in your goddamn life. Please. I am *begging*,

ELECTROCHEMISTRY – Heyy. Hey guys. Uh. He's like, waking up. Like, right now. Like. Right this second? What uh. Should we do. Help.

Open your eyes.

PERCEPTION [SIGHT] – Ow. Fuck.

-1 health.

Everything is bright and your head hurts and it sucks here. Wherever *here* is, anyway.

Close your eyes and go back to sleep. It's fine. This is all a dream, probably.

Get up and look around the area.

Die for realsies.

VOLITION [Challenging: Success] – What? Fuck you you're not dying. Bitch. You're awake now, go… I don't know. Look around and see what's what here.

YOU – "What if I don't wanna :("

VOLITION – That isn't my problem shut up. Go. Go, go, go. Right now. Right. Fucking now.

YOU – "��"

VOLITION – Don't you "🥺" me, oh my God!!

Close your eyes and go back to sleep. It's fine. This is all a dream, probably.

Get up and look around the area.

Die for realsies.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY – Hey actually now that he's up and awake, we can… Go find *substances*. Anddd… Similar Things. Perhaps. Maybe. Just an idea. So he doesn't, uh… Actually for realsies die. :)

VOLITION – ... Y'know what. Sure. Fuck it all.

NEW TASK: FIND DRUGS

ELECTROCHEMISTRY – Okay cool so while we're getting that sorted, uh, have y'all three seen Anyone Else up here. Like, *any* of the other Skills. Hello.

HALF LIGHT – What if, and hear me out… What if they are Dead, For Realsies, No Joke. Huh. What then.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY – What if maybe you chilled the fuck out, bud? What then? Hmm?

HALF LIGHT – Canadian-ass.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY – What on God is a Canadian.

ENCYCLOPEDIA [Easy: Failure] – Some person from Canada. Probably.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY – OHH SHIT!! COOLCOOLCOOL THE OTHERS ARE ALIVE PROBABLY IT'S NOT JUST US FOUR HERE! LET'S FUCKIN' GO!

ELECTROCHEMISTRY – … Wait. We still have to… Oh God we still have to *Do Shit*. Hey. Guys, where are we, actually?

PERCEPTION [Trivial: success] – Cabin.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY – Ok besides that though.

PERCEPTION [Trivial: failure] – I dunno. I don't control the legs.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY – You are so useless actually. Love that for you, to be honest.

ELECTROCHEMISTRY – Anyways can somebody please make him walk, I dunno what I'm doin' here. God bless. <3

VOLITION – Yeah, okay. Lemme… Try that. Uh…

Perish immediately.

Cry and shit yourself and scream.

Walk out of the cabin.

VOLITION [Challenging: Success] - I'm not letting you do that.

Perish immediately.

Cry and shit yourself and scream.

Walk out of the cabin.

VOLITION – Okay cool.

PERCEPTION – Oh!! I see now! We are in An Arena. Which probably means that we're—

HALF LIGHT – —Going to die!

PERCEPTION – We are going to die! 😃👍

VOLITION – How about we don't die though.

NEW TASK: Try not to die (again?)

VOLITION – Okay so, he's in… An arena. And probably in a death match of some sort. Cool. Noted. And we'll probably die but not *yet*, dammit, so let's at least try to stay alive for a bit longer. Do we have his gun still, or…?

Check pockets for your gun.

Your pockets are empty. No weapons to be found.

VOLITION – Fuuuuuucking hell. Again? Seriously?

PERCEPTION [Trivial: success] – There's knives in that body over there though! :)

VOLITION – Wonderful! And totally not at all a coincidence! A knife will have to do for now.

+1 weapon [knife] added to inventory.

VOLITION – Okay I think he's ready to not get killed. Yeehaw.

NEW TASK: Win the fuckin white boy bracket 👌

[coffeedrgn87]

Written for the @drarrymicrofic prompt 'Trust Me', but I'm gifting these 700 words of Draco being an absolute menace to @phd-mama, who had to do the grocery shopping today. Bestie, these words just needed to be written, though the idea to combine it with a microfic prompt didn't strike until this evening. Hope you enjoy!

“Oh, bloody hell, Malfoy! For once in your life, Draco, would you please just trust me?”

Harry’s exasperation is palpable. It hangs in the room like thick smog, clings to every surface, holding on for dear life, saying, ‘I won’t be moved.’

Draco eyes the thing he calls (‘affectionately’ he says, but Harry doesn’t believe that lie) ‘Potter’s death trap’ with disdain but after a minute, he finally relents with a long-suffering sigh.

“Give that thing here then,” he says, pushing a pillow from his lap.

Harry gently places his laptop on Draco’s thighs, the internet browser already open to show Tesco’s online shopping page. Since Draco won’t let him leave the house to do the weekly shopping, this is their last resort.

“It’s straightforward. You just search for whatever you want here” — Harry pauses to demonstrate — “and it brings up several different results with pictures. The more specific your search term, the better. But if you want to browse different products and compare, you can just type, say ‘cheese’.”

Draco frowns at that, and Harry holds up his hand. He already knows what Draco wants to say — Potter, we’re not buying our cheese from a chain supermarket, neither now nor ever.

“It was an example, don’t get your ponytail in a twist.”

Draco glares at him but doesn’t say anything, and Harry continues to explain to Draco how to shop online at Tesco, taking his time and allowing Draco to try each step for himself before moving on to the next. Once they’ve gone through it all, Harry pauses, tilts his head to the side and smiles softly.

“Any questions?”

Draco shakes his head.

“No, I think I got it,” he says, painted fingernails—lilac this week—idly tapping on the edge of Harry’s laptop.

“You sure? Honestly, sweetheart, I can just run to the shops and get what we need. I’ll be back in less than an hour, I promise.”

Draco doesn’t deign to answer him. Instead, he glowers again, eyes quite pointedly travelling to his leg, which is elevated and in a cast for the next fortnight, while a strict regimen of Skele-Gro fixes the damage that blasted Reductor Curse caused.

“OK, pretend I didn’t say anything. You just pick what you want us to order and let me know when you’re done; I’ll sort the payment and arrange the delivery.”

Draco’s glower turns into a smile. Harry wants to roll his eyes but decides to save it for later when Draco isn’t watching. For the moment, Harry chooses just to grin and bear it. That seems to be the best way to go.

*** *** *** ***

Approximately three hours later (Harry has given up asking Draco whether he’d finished shopping yet about an hour and a half ago), Draco finally calls him over to the sofa and hands him the laptop.

When Harry sees the total amount due, he lets out a very undignified sound, one he can’t quite describe, though it sounds screechy to his ears.

“What in Godric’s name? Draco! 527 pounds?! That’s more than four times how much we spend on shopping every week!”

Harry quite sensibly swallows the next question—an inquiry about Draco’s sanity—and continues to stare at his computer screen, blinking hard. He half-expects the total amount to change, but no avail. Five hundred twenty-seven pounds it is. Harry swallows a groan and turns his head to look at Draco.

“Sweetheart, are you sure?”

The question sounds pathetic to his ears.

Draco simply folds his arms over his chest.

“They had a lot of interesting things,” he says defensively.

Harry rubs his palm over his lips and quietly shakes his head. He doesn’t quite dare to look at the virtual shopping cart for fear of what he might find. A soft sigh escapes him, and instead of pushing the matter any further, he simply leans across and presses a gentle kiss on Draco’s cheek.

“If you’re sure?” He tries one last time.

“Potter,” in that warning tone, is all he gets in response.

Raising his hands in mock surrender, Harry simply nods, though he sends a quick thank you to Merlin and Morgana that the contents of his and Draco’s Gringotts accounts allow such frivolous spending.

[quirrelli]

So, I finished Killing Eve S4 and I'm...

...just gonna pretend I do not see it. S3 wasn't amazing but its ending still works way better as the ending of the show than the actual ending, so I think I'll just be having that, thank you.

No, but seriously, how did they manage to have this much lesbian activity for four seasons and still end up with bury your gays lite?? Did literally no one in that writer's room have even a cursory look at tvtropes.com or talk to like one gay person??? Make no mistake, I was fully expecting one or both of them to die, especially since I was aware – without knowing any details – of the finale's negative reception. There are always going to be people who hate an ending and by extension the whole show simply because it killed off their favorite character, irrespective of context or execution. I am not one of those people, so I want to be crystal clear here when I say there were ways to make a tragic ending work for Killing Eve, a few fairly obvious ones even, and so I thought surely there was no way they would fall into that specific trap again.

The most generous interpretation of this (non-)ending I can come up with is to apply Hanlon's razor, in which case it might be be seen as a symptom of the general loss of focus the series suffered beginning with S3 and exponentially more so in S4. By which I mean they let the emotional core (the V/E dynamic) diverge wildly from the plot (finding the 12).

Never lose sight of the emotional core. I find you can get away with almost anything; technical faults, dodgy performances, plot holes (especially plot holes), even a meh ending, as long as the emotional core stays exactly where its name says it should stay.

Helene is an easy means of illustration for this point. Helene in S4 is basically less chaotic Villanelle, both in her function to the plot (murderous fancy bitch whomst is important as the key to a bigger bad) and in her relationship with Eve (gay, aggressive, lethally hot), which makes me wonder why they didn't just let Villanelle play that part??? It's driving me mad bc it's the most obvious thing and would have fixed so many problems in an instant.

By which I don't mean get rid of Helene btw, just make better use of her, as an actual member and face of the 12 or a double agent or sth. Give V the quest to hunt down the 12, it's already perfectly aligned with her motivations and capabilities at the end of S3! I mean she wants to impress Eve by showing her she's trying to be better and to start a new life, right? Cool, ok, therefore, in Villanelle's moderately disturbed mind it makes perfect sense to do this by violently hunting down a bunch of bad ppl ~ for Eve ~ . (The fact that she's also high key horny for murder is just a bonus, don't worry about it, baby.) If not that, then do sth else entirely with her, do the church thing (properly this time, not squeezed into two episodes and then entirely forgotten) but don't give hunting down the 12 to Helene, a character that already feels vaguely like a replacement for Villanelle while she's off doing character growth or whatever.

If they had done the thing that makes sense, it would have also meant that for once V and E's goals would have aligned, (though they might not have realized it immediately, you know, for spice,) which would have given us an opportunity to delve into a new dynamic: Partners in crime. Not S2 V tenuously working for E bc horny but actual challenging "we want the same thing except oh no, all this history and unresolved tension" cooperation. Obviously it would have gone horribly wrong in some fashion (I'm thinking Carolyn shenanigans), but at least it would have gone wrong for a reason that actually involved them bc the plot would have actually been their plot again. Incidentally, if you're going to have them hook up, this would be a great time for that, so it doesn't feel quite so backhanded if/when one/both die at the end.

The only reason I can imagine for not going down this route is that it would be too obvious, to which I can only say: [Insert tired comparison to Game of Thrones here.]

Seriously, hunting down the 12 is a natural conclusion to the story. It makes sense, was built to from the beginning and should have been a slam dunk in terms of plotting. Thus I am flummoxed as to how the writers managed to drop the ball so spectacularly that it hit every single one of their teammates square in the tits.

Well, I say that, the show does maintain a few of its strengths, first and foremost the cast of course, consequently some of the dialogue (Carolyn and V's interactions are delightful) and I do like the idea of both Gunn and Pam and also V getting shot by an arrow. Just wish the cupid/angel motif hadn't been so muddled and included Gunn more (who shouldn't have been called Gunn. It's a bad joke.)

Speaking of, many have rightly decried the lackluster supporting cast but as I see it, that is largely a holdover from S3, which killed off/wrote out basically everyone but the core four and failed to introduce any new characters that stayed past the season finale (besides Helene) bc it was too busy not moving the plot forward. You gotta have side characters in your show, so they made some new ones for S4 and gathered together whatever scraps they could (Hugo prettyboy and Martin the therapist). Idk if there was a good way to solve this problem exactly, but they could have certainly woven the new lot into the story better. Especially Pam. Pam could have been so much more. Oh and fuck the way they wrapped up Irina's story too. Complete waste.

With bad plotting comes shitty pacing. Again, that already started in S3. However, I will say in defense of S3 that it being a bit slower and introspective is very much the sort of thing that could have felt kinda ok, even needed in retrospect, if S4 had Risky Businessed into the room champagne in one hand, gun in the other, ready to party. Instead it made S3 look worse by turning it into a prelude to an even more plodding experience, now with bad editing!

For real, there's some really poorly constructed scenes; shots that feel disjointed, unfocused, repetitive. No idea what that's about, could it be the lingering effects of Covid-restrictions? Or maybe they just needed a better editor. Regardless, while not super dire it is absolutely noticeable and contributes to the general lack of cohesion, not to mention the tonal dissonance.

What am I saying, that's an excellent thing to mention. An ideal candidate to put the show and this too long note on my phone out of its misery in fact.

Killing Eve is supposed to be fun, you guys, remember that? S1 was at all times like two smash cuts away from becoming a full on comedy and it was amazing for that. It was the show's most unique feature, what took it from very good to transcendent as far as I'm concerned. Walking that line is hard, no doubt about it, and I get that different show runners have different visions and of course you can take on a more serious tone between seasons but then you actually need to make everything else match that shift. Integrate the absurdity into your writing or discard it, the way I've discarded the idea of ever writing a proper conclusion for anything. If you really want a dramatic, played entirely straight spy thriller conclusion with conspiracies upon conspiracies and doomed passions, that's fine. I mean, it’s not really bc you're losing what made Killing Eve great et cetera and so forth but my point is that you can't have your imaginary drag king Jesus and eat him too.

tl;dr: S4 is bad. There are several reasons for this.

[startreatment]

i can't believe i haven't asked for your in depth thoughts on the car yet but i am asking it now! has the top 5 changed?

so i just checked and my top 5 was mirrorball, big ideas, hello you, sculptures and mr schwartz and tbh i don't think it did. i'm not sure about mr schwartz, i think it might be switched for the car or jet skis on the moat, but yeah. some thoughts on each track individually:

there'd better be a mirrorball: instant classic, come on now! gorgeous production, THE STRINGS!!, smooth vocals, so hazy, beautiful and atmospheric. i cried to it more times than i am willing to admit, it really is a tearjerker. i've seen some people say that lyrics are the weakest part of the album, which i obviously disagree with, but especially on this one. it's pretty simple, but still effective and touching. "i'd throw the rose tint back on the exploded view darling, if i were you" always gets me.

i ain't quite where i think i am: FUN!! the weakest one on the album, but i genuinely love it. WAAAAAAH!! i am a she looks like fun enjoyer as well, so i guess i just like having fun idk?

sculptures of anything goes: no words to adequately explain the sheer grip this one has on me. everything i wanted and more. so dark, ominous, rich and textured, we love her!! and the title's very cool, too. it is a career highlight idc what y'all say!! 5 years from now we're gonna treat it with the same respect and love we treat crying lightning, four out of five and other pretties. love. alex turner work on a portishead inspired album challenge

jet skis on the moat: didn't grab me on the first listen, but it's actually very cute! gives me western vibes, one of the songs that reminds me of TBHC the most, for some reason. love the way he delivers "or are you just happy to sit there and watch while the paint job dries?". "you know that it's alright if you're wanna cry" thank you alex, but i have been bawling since the first track so <3

body paint: still sad it didn't live up to my very high expectations that were set up by that damn kings theatre live "leak", but i appreciate it way more in context. the piano riff is insane tho, sometimes it just randomly plays in my head throughout the day. also, really enjoy the first lyric. "for a master of deception and subterfuge you've made yourself quite the bed to LIE in" ok we get it you're very funny. also. "and i'm keeping on my costume and calling it a writing tool"? yeah he's.......... mhm

the car: ruins me the same way ultracheese does, which means i sob uncontrollably until i feel like there's no air around me at all. childhood memories always get me so hard and the strings add a sense of melancholy i can't handle. very sick of them to put it in the middle of the fucking record! anyway, it kinda reminds me of faust arp by radiohead, which is a win, because in rainbows is very good. good track!

big ideas: have i ever said that we should artists grow? let them change and flourish and explore new things? hm, idk. lyrically it's a bit too on the nose, which is not what i was expecting at all, but it's a welcome change from cryptic TBHC lyrics. sometimes i just want him to say what he thinks, you know? and we're gonna stop analysing the lyrics now, because i don't wanna get upset.

hello you: the first make me hold my breath and stop me in my tracks no matter what i'm doing (kinda like nfwmb foof and diwk do so. do with that what you will). that piano riff (? can you call it that idk i know nothing about music) is CRAZYYYY. also plays in my head throughout the day, so catchy and fun. lego napoleon moveh. vortex to vortex. the buisness they call show. 'ello gruesome. HELLOOOO YOU. might be my favourite from the record if i'm being completely honest. sorry, i love a good instrumental, what can i say. i actually saw someone say it's pattern with no miles, which is pretty accurate!

mr. schwartz: my head hurts. again, not getting into the lyrics, but i HAVE to point out that "and if wе guess who i'm pretending to be, do we win a prize?" makes me wanna lay down for a sec. also FINGERPICKING!!

perfect sense: why is it so short. melancholic (what a surprise), but doesn't make me wanna die! it's the type of melancholy that you feel when you're watching the last episode of your favourite show. a nice farewell song that sounds sad but hopeful, a gorgeous closer. they Know how to write a good closing track for sure. love it!!

my overall review: makes me cry, but it's very good. would love to have a couple more tracks that sound like i ain't quite or hello you to dilute the ... whatever's going on in the middle that makes me sob, but i can also appreciate the fact that it's just 10 tracks. still, we want b-sides @ am. make it happen!!!!! a 9/10, already in my top 3 (which is tbhc > humbug > fwn = the car), taylor swift cant't relate