#cannot think about anything else sometimes

[chaaistained]

loa is your best friend, not your crush

tldr: stop seeking loa’s validation, trust in your friendship and the love you share

so we’re gonna need a bit of backstory for everyone as to how i reached this epiphany which i could only articulate this well thanks to @faeriemarie letting me ramble on discord thnx bby

anyway, backstory :

i have a wonderful best friend from high school and she is someone that i’ve scripted into many realities (she’s one of the members in my kpop girl group dr, i love her sm). but in my cr, as can be expected, life hasn’t been easy and we hadn’t talked for quite a while.

sometimes i’d remember her with so much warmth and fondness and reminisce in the times we’d shared, the love that was so real and so precious to me, the way i’d literally see her five days out of the week and still never feel tired of her presence because at a time where i was struggling (high school) she got me like no one else did

and afterwards, after losing so much time to life and university and careers and new friendships, most of which could never even hope to reach her level, i was pleasantly surprised when she reached out to me.

two text messages later and we’d slipped back into the same energy that we’d always shared, like nothing had changed, because nothing had changed

we very quickly organised a lunch, no fuss no rescheduling, nothing blocking our paths back to each other and right now, as i type this, i’m cuddled under a blanket after a lovely meal with her and a warmth in my soul.

because she single-handedly changed the way i view loa

something about me and her — in my eyes she was always perfection and me being the anxious fool that i am, sometimes i’d spiral and convince myself that i’m not worthy of being her friend

today, at lunch, sitting right across from me, she burned those burdens and alleviated each and every facet of fear i had about it, about us.

she said “you mean so much to me, i value us and our friendship so much. i know that we go a long time without speaking and i really miss you but at the same time, i just know that i can reach out whenever, for anything, and you’ll be there for me. because you’re so genuine and so authentic. this kind of friendship is something i’ll always cherish”.

aside from the fact that i’m getting teary eyed as i remember her words, i have a point with all of this rambling and exposition — as soon as she said this and helped me rid myself of all that stress, it felt like i’d just slipped into my better cr

a reality where i’ve always scripted this kind of energy, this kind of vibe, with her

at that moment, shifting wasn’t on my mind bcs i felt like i’d achieved it ?? i felt like i was there, in my better cr, getting lunch with one of my most cherished friends, just like those scenarios i’ve scripted

and her and i have even planned another meet up pretty soon with our extended group and i cannot explain how refreshing it is to feel zero social anxiety about this plan

usually i’d have inklings of fear and doubt but right now? nothing !! absolutely nothing

i am so at peace and i haven’t felt this way about a friendship in so long ???

having lunch with her and speaking with her affirmed to me that my fears of losing our friendship were unfounded, because how can you lose something so genuine and so real?

i’ve finally learned to trust in our friendship and the love we share and dismiss my irrational fears that are baseless and are a result of my own overthinking

i don’t think you guys understand how incredible this is for me because i am without a doubt one of the most anxious people in existence it is disgustingly debilitating

but i’ve won this battle and there are gonna be more battles that i’m gonna win (anxiety-wise ahdhdhsh)

and i know i’m gonna win those because meeting up with her affirmed me of my own capabilities and my own manifestations

i’ve learned to dismiss unfounded fear and trust in my friendship with this person

why don’t we think the same way about loa???

we need to trust in your friendship with loa, one of the most genuine friendships you can ever have

the universe can throw as much at you as it wants but loa always has your back

we need to stop thinking of loa as this unresponsive crush, always seeking its validation, in need of constant attention and interaction and hoping to “run into them” to “share a moment”

stop. stand up.

loa is not your crush, for fuck’s sake, loa is your life long soulmate friendship

a friend like loa? you don’t need to talk to them 24/7 to know they love you and value you and care about you and will provide for you

that’s what loa should be, a true genuine friend who you can hit up for whatever you want (manifestation) and they’ll follow through (materialisation)

[arodabi]

100% everything on this post, people were so vile that i get all shaky and cold sweats whenever i gotta talk about my identity to someone irl STILL bc deep down im scared they’ll turn on me.

Personal discourse anecdote:

I followed an aspec positivity blog in 2015 that would routinely get attacked and harassed so eventually they gave the blog to somebody else and retreated back to their main. I followed them there and realized they were somebody i actually went to high school with. They were a year under me and i never talked to them in person about it bc who wants a stranger coming up to you asking about your tumblr blog.

Anyways over the course of a year i watched them fall into being an ace exclusionist, just as vile as all the rest of them. I unfollowed obvi but i would see them all the time going after mutuals and saying nasty things in aspec tags. I remember them harassing ppl with hivliving if that tells you anything. It was horrible to see somebody who spent time defending us fall like that.

After i graduated i saw that they were made my ex high schools gsa president. They would make snide posts abt it from time to time but eventually they made a post that was basically “some acey came up to me and asked what we were doing for ace week or whatever. I just laughed in their face, why would we do anything for virgin week?” A friend of mine who used to know them screenshotted all of their ani ace posts and reported them to the high school. They then got kicked out of the gsa. They were sooooo mad too, blamed all the butthurt cringe aceys bc they didn’t actually kno who had reported them lol

Anyways, i think about this a lot. I kno that person is still out there, my friend gives me updates on them from time to time. I think it shows that as much as people liked to say this was just an online thing, it wasn’t that big of deal, the people who were doing this online were also the ones participating in irl queer spaces too, sometimes with authority. I’m glad it’s a lot better now but the blogs who screenshotted my post to call me mentally ill for being aro in front of their thousands of followers are still posting and popular. They just know to be quiet about aspec ppl for now. We cannot let them ever feel comfortable expressing that shit again bc i kno they didn’t actually change their mind.

I don't think younger/newer users fully grasp the shit show that ace discourse was around 2014-17

It was so hostile that, to this day, discussions that begin to derail just enough can make me physically nauseous, some specific mockery trigger crying sessions years later. We lost most accounts with any sort of ace positivity. There was no information, no support, and all this damage was done predominantly by other queer people.

All this to say that you, however you identify yourself, should be engaging with aphobic comments the same way you do any hate. We don't sugarcoat or try to be comprehensive with people who are blatantly racist, homophobic or terfs, so why give it a pass just because it's coming from a queer person? I see how this tolerance goes and it's done enough damage as it is.

[angels-hideaway]

For day 6 of HCW, I’m thinking about…

𝔊𝔥𝔬𝔰𝔱 ℭ𝔞𝔦𝔱𝔩𝔶𝔫

Ghost!Caitlyn x fem!reader headcanons

summary: what happens when a girl moves into an old house, and catches the eye of the spirit trapped there?

♡ Ghost Caitlyn who doesn’t know what to do when you move into her house. Usually, she’d chase the new owner out with typical tricks like throwing objects or flickering the lights. 

♡ Ghost Caitlyn who doesn’t really haunt you at all. She’s too intrigued by you. Sometimes you’d feel a presence behind you when you’re reading, cooking, watching tv, anything. 

♡ Ghost Caitlyn who sometimes shows herself to you. Its only at night though. You’d see a figure in your bed, or her reflection in the mirror, but you never feel threatened. Something about her gaze feels more protective and curious. 

♡ Ghost Caitlyn who starts to view you as hers too. You’ve become a part of her home now. If you bring over a friend or a date, that’s the only time she starts to act out. When you brought another girl over once, furniture was moving, the power went out, and the girls car alarm went off. 

♡ Ghost Caitlyn who isn’t sure what to do when you actually try and start to summon her. She didn’t expect you to be that curious. Sometimes she’ll play games with you and spell something scary on an ouija board, or say something mysterious in your radio. 

♡ Ghost Caitlyn who begins to appear more often. Almost always lying beside you in bed or watching you sleep. She never looks very scary. Just watching or toying around with your things. 

♡ Ghost Caitlyn who finally tells you her name one random night. She admitted she wasn’t there to harm or scare you, but simply a ghost who remained in this house. You see her more as a spirit than a ghost.

♡ Ghost Caitlyn who was an army general when she was alive. She even guides you to an old photo album left behind in the attic. She died in battle, but her spirit returned to her home.

♡ Ghost Caitlyn who starts to interact with you pretty regularly after that. If you’re cooking, you’ll find the next ingredient already next to you. Sometimes your laundry would be folded when you come home from work, or the floor would be obviously swept.

♡ Ghost Caitlyn who begins to touch you. Sometimes you’d feel a hand on your shoulder, or a strand of your hair would lift. When you’re relaxing on the couch or in bed, one side of your body will sometimes feel heavy. Like someone’s leaning on you.

♡ Ghost Caitlyn who starts to appear in your dreams. Nothing malicious, just her drinking tea, asking you questions, or talking about her story.

♡ Ghost Caitlyn who starts to become very bold. When you’re brushing your teeth in the mirror, hand imprints would appear on your waist or breasts. Sometimes you’d feel cold breath on your neck, or a hand on your cheek when you’re half asleep in bed.  nsfw

♡ Ghost Caitlyn who one night decides to make her move. While you’re trying to sleep, you feel cold, invisible hands on your legs, and then on your body.  Whispers of a quiet voice ask permission. Even as an invisible spirit, she refuses to use that to take advantage of you.

♡ Ghost Caitlyn who gives you the weirdest night of your life. You feel yourself being penetrated by two digits, but no one’s there. You feel her kissing your neck, but there’s no saliva. It’s strange watching your thighs being lifted and nothing’s there. It’s even stranger coming over and over again to an invisible tongue. You can’t even imagine what you look like right now to anybody else. This happens more than once. You could be reading before bed, or sipping on tea, and the next moment, clenching around fingers that aren’t really there. 

♡ Ghost Caitlyn who always makes sure you leave the house with some kind of mark. That way, even when you’re somewhere she cannot go, everyone knows you’re spoken for. 

a/n:

[ooooo-mcyt]

Scar has SUCH a victim complex and we really should talk about it more.

In an average Scar pov of the Life Series, two things are basically guaranteed:

a.) Scar never does anything wrong. Any perceived wrongdoing on Scar's part is simply him being silly and goofy which people keep blowing it out of proportion. Or he really didn't mean to do anything wrong and people are just so paranoid and keep misinterpreting his good intentioned actions. Or he did something bad but it wasn't his idea and some outside force made him and it wasn't that big a deal anyways when you think about it.

b.) Everyone's out to get Scar. People wrongfully don't trust him because they're just blind to his inherent trustworthiness. People are always shooting down his brilliant plans because they hate fun or are just mean. People take advantage of him when he's never done anything wrong to them (if you think he has done anything wrong, see point a). People betray him so much, him, the silliest funnest most trustworthy teammate who only wants friendship.

Now, a lot of this is tactical on Scar's part, to give credit where credit is due! Scar is in fact very intelligent, and most of the time he knows what he's doing! A lot of time Scar plays innocent and dumb because playing innocent and dumb keeps working to get him what he wants and to keep him out of trouble. People buy into the facade with shocking ease. And the really clever thing is that even when people don't buy into the facade, there's no argument. Because it doesn't matter if Scar is as dumb and innocent as he pretends to be (he's not), people can't prove he doesn't believe what he says, so they don't waste energy arguing, and he gets away with a shocking amount because of it. Scar is incredible at playing with tactical facades and twisted narratives. So yes, a lot of Scar's "victim complex" is tactic, not necessarily a genuinely held belief on Scar's end.

That being said, I think sometimes Scar gets so caught up in his own false narratives that he starts to believe them, and I think Scar can be painfully, and ironically, blind to his own faults. When he says he felt abandoned and betrayed by everyone in Last Life, I believe he meant it, though I'd argue he actively pushed people away and was the reason nobody trusted him. When he says he treated Grian right and "built him a panda sanctuary" in Double Life, I think Scar actually means that, though it's factually incorrect. When he says he was "forced" to be alone in Secret Life, I'm sure he meant that too, though again I'd argue Scar had a very active role in self isolating.

While I think Scar is a very intelligent person who very much purposefully crafts narratives that benefit him, I also think Scar is a person who likes to live in those narratives, someone who uses his boundless imagination to integrate himself into the realities he builds so seamlessly that they start to feel real. I think this is a very efficient coping mechanism, in a lot of ways, for Scar to blame any genuine suffering he has entirely on outside persecution and minimize his own responsibility. It's comforting, if nothing else.

But this self imposed hand crafted victim complex doesn't actually help with the ways Scar really struggles the most. Scar consistently struggles with isolation, whether through literal distance from other players or simply emotional inability to connect. And unfortunately, most of it is a result of Scar's own behavior. Scar lies, Scar cheats, Scar pushes people away. Scar is the reason nobody trusts him. Scar is the one who consistently refuses to seek out companionship even when he needs it. This is an agonizingly fixable problem, but it's one Scar cannot see the solution to, because ironically his own cunning and creative mind has spun a web so thick it's trapped him inside, and he can't see past it to realize he has the way out!

Anyways sorry for rambling I'm just insane about Scar, he has such a brilliant mind and the tongue to back it up but his fatal flaw has always been in how his creative mind loses itself in its own false narratives until he cannot see the exit door five feet in front of him. He's sooooooooooooo !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sai-int]

I cannot get the image of rts!simon jerking off in his cell after he read her letter, and fantasizing about her; the way her letter like brought him back to life in a way and how much he thought about her while he was in prison

hope you enjoy this! sorry this took so long, i have no excuse except for the fact that I’ve just been living life and stuff.

sad to announce that this will be my last addition to the sent for you universe! thank you all for joining me on this ride. i figured this ask would be the perfect way to pull everything together, full circle.

he’d gotten dozens of letters since they locked him up.

half from strangers, half from sick little admirers. girls who wanted a piece of the infamous man behind the mask. some sent polaroids—sprawled out in front of grimy bathroom mirrors, tits pressed together under cheap lace, branding his name on their skin like they knew him.

and sure, it was flattering in the most hollow of ways. he’d had a wank to a few in the early weeks—why not? tits are tits when you’re caged up like an animal.

but none of it stuck. none of it felt like anything worthwhile.

—oh, but then your letter came.

no name he recognized. no perfume soaked into the envelope, no photo curled inside. nothing flashy. just folded notebook paper. just ink. just you.

and it gutted him.

because you didn’t offer yourself up like meat. you didn’t coo over his reputation or articulate lewd fantasies about the size of his cock. you just wrote to him. told him you didn’t know why you felt so drawn. that you thought of him sometimes.

with only your name scrawled at the bottom—no face, no body, no tits. just a ghost of a girl who somehow felt realer than anything he’d touched in his life.

he sat there on the creaky mattress—bare, worn, thin as paper—just holding it. reading it. rereading it. by the third pass, his body was thrumming—alive and electric, like a starving shark catching a single drop of blood from miles away, instincts firing before thought could catch up.

he swore he could smell your skin on the paper. feel the heat of your palm in the swirls of your e’s, the curve of your hips in the dips of your b’s.

—like he could map you—follow the ink like a trail of fingerprints, sketch your breathless little sighs between each space, each line.

then you mentioned it. soft. offhand.

“…i’ve never even been with someone before. not really. it’s not like i don’t want to… just gets harder as you get older, i guess..”

he read that line and shook.

a virgin. sweet little thing. untouched. writing him.

“big, bad ghost,”

he could’ve fucking howled.

his cock stirred in his scratchy, prison-issued sweats before he even realized it. slow and aching, the way blood rushes back to a numbed limb. not just aroused. not just needy. but possessive. like the idea of you letting anyone else take that part of you was suddenly offensive.

he tipped his head back against the pillow, teeth gritted, one hand slipping beneath the waistband while the other clenched the letter in a death grip.

his palm dragged over the stiff peak of his cock—tip slick already, hot to the touch—and he groaned into the fabric. low. animal.

he imagined your legs spread over clean bedsheets, your hand shaking as you wrote that line. wondered if you had regretted it, if touched yourself after, sweet and tentative, thinking of him.

the strokes of his fist sped up. the letter crumpling in his tightening fist.

he could see you now—eyes soft, mouth parted, hips shifting under your own touch, whispering his name like a secret. like a sin.

that thought broke him.

his hips jerked. breath hitched. and when he finally came, it was with his forehead pressed to the pillow, choking back a guttural moan, hot, thick ropes of cum shooting onto your pretty words, mixing with the ink you left there as he whispered your name like prayer.

he couldn’t bring himself to let go of the letter. not for hours.

folded it. slid it beneath his mattress like scripture.

he didn’t care if he was covered in his spend—he couldn’t throw away something so precious.

when the nights got cold, he’d reach for it like warmth.

because you weren’t a fantasy or a pair of tits, you were real.

and he was dead set on making you his.

[cokrouch]

oooo yay

1/ therian and otherkin, idk actually know much about anything else or their prolly would be more....but im just not very knowledgeable i suppose(very open to learning tho)

2/ Theriotypes: Black wolfdog, Dear, Rabbit, Crow, Barn owl, Black cat, Rhinoceros beetle, Fly, Cockroach

Paleotype: Therizinosaurus

Otherkin: Angelkin, Robotkin, Vampirekin, Zombiekin, Ghostkin, Skeletonkin, Cryptidkin, Creaturekin, Sirenkin

3/ i dont think so but when i get distressed or feel cornered i feel like a prey animal which makes sense i suppose. i also sometimes when im sitting on the edge of my bed and close my eyes i sometimes get little like memories(not visual but like i just know that its smth thats happened) of sitting at the foot of a throne, wings tucked neatly behind my back/over my face(the ones on my head) and im dressed in silk and gold and its just...nice i want to go back but alas i cannot(whenever im in the car and look at the sky and see the sun rays filtering through the clouds all i can really think is "i should be up there")

4/ its pretty ever present so yk

5/ most people are nice, i dont get into discourse cuz it makes me a lil sad cuz like...idk its someone elses life i dont think its a big deal unless its spreading misinformation or harming someone/something

6/ uhhhh prolly gotta go with 2 of my friends being therians too so i can chat with them about it sometimes(i keep it to myself most of the time idk im just like that) being referred to as my therio/kin/paleotype. the fact that most of my clothes are black and one of my more frequently noticeable types have black fur(maybe thats why im more comfortable in blacks/browns/greens huh...) the fact that i have a lot of like cat/dog/owl/prey/etc mannerisms

7/ sometimes mainly cuz i dont have fangs/sharp teeth or a tail and i have skin...and organs...and no wings...only 2 eyes the list just goes on but its not like dysphoria it doesnt cause me distress but yk id rather have all that stuff cuz it would cause more euphoria does that makes sense?

8/ stay away from discourse and if smth doesnt fit thats alright, been there done that, it isnt the end of the world, promise /gen /pos

9/ yes, i want some. the only gear i have is a half finished crow mask it just needs elastic and some feather/painted details but i dont have anything so i gotta wait a bit(i have a wip yarn tail...but i dont like the way the yarn feels even tho it kinda feels like course fur)

10/ no....i do not sadly

11/ you know the gist, anyone can answer and i thing i'll tag....hm...@neowanderseternally /nf ofc

If you are an alter/nonhuman, reblog and answer these questions!

(don't be afraid to write a lot, do what you want ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯)

1/ Which category of alterhumanity do you belong to?

2/ What/who is/are your type(s)? (if you have any)

3/ Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)?

4/ How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life?

5/ What do you think of the community?

6/ What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity?

7/ Are you experiencing species dysphoria?

8/ What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened?

9/ Do you have/want to have gears?

10/ Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate)

11/ Tag someone/a creature to answer these questions!ㅤᵕ̈

[sapphosscribe]

Great answer about how you manage to write consistently. Um, just one question - how do you write with ADHD? Maybe it's just me, but sometimes when I try to write it just comes out unnatural, I don't know where I'm going with my thoughts (even when I know exactly what I want to describe sometimes the words just won't come together) or I'm just describing without putting emotions in. And after like 20 minutes of doing so I MUST switch to a YouTube video, preferably a MV/performance video.

Also a huge issue for me - I feel like if I just sit down to do it then I'll forget that everything else around me exists and I just... Won't do the "necessary shit" (aka school/job, chores, etc.), but I still procrastinate on Necessary Shit™ and end up doomwatching YouTube. It's like I'm afraid to live my life to the fullest just to do this exact thing, but if at least feels safer??? Hate it!

This is SOOO relatable 😫.

Honestly trying to do ANYTHING with ADHD is not for the faint of heart.

Planning, planning, planning. I CANNOT stress enough how insanely helpful it is for me to have not only a plan for the story, but a plan for each individual chapter.

I try to aim for the sweet spot between planning so intricately there’s no room to let it breathe and just allowing the characters to do whatever to the degree I’ve completely lost the plot 😂😂.

I’d say the issues you’re having with describing without emotions or rambling is something I resolve in two different ways.

1) I look to my characters. Just like real life, no one in the scene is just standing around existing. They have their own thoughts, feelings, and motivations about what’s going on around them. I refer to this in my head as letting the story breathe. The characters often have a mind of their own. Sometimes I’ll realize that, based on something already established about their background, they’d be acting in a certain way or do something different then what I have planned and it helps make it feel more authentic. Keeping in mind what your characters want and what they’re actively trying to achieve in each scene can help with descriptors.

2) This might be a hot take but, honestly, let yourself ramble. Sometimes I’ll think I’m saying way too much much stuff in a chapter or the pacing is off, then I’ll go back and read it and it’s perfectly fine. I think of it like cooking food. It can take over an hour to bake something and it feels exhausting and like you’ve made a lot of mistakes along the way, but it’s just because you’re standing there measuring things out and adding ingredients. When you actually TASTE what you’ve cooked it all blends together into something much simpler.

No matter what you say, you can always clean it up in editing. The first draft is just you telling yourself the story and even if some of it turns out not to be usuable, you’ve probably learned something about your characters that will help you write them better later on.

This might also sound really weird but the way I structure my chapters and story follows the formula you might use to write an essay 😂😂

Before I do anything else with my story. I pick a theme, something that I’m trying to say/prove, the point of the whole thing, and I treat the rest of the story as evidence for that theme.

Each Act is a big piece of ‘evidence’ to support my theme and then each chapter in the arc follows emotional and plot beats to create that evidence.

Since Act 1 is already over I can use it as an example, though I’m not giving away the story’s overall theme. You can figure that out.😉

My big piece of evidence in Act 1 or my ‘big thought’ that connects to the main theme is “Bill’s current moral bankruptcy isn’t from a place of outright malice, but unprocessed trauma”. Then I planned out the structure to prove it: Bill crashing out spectacularly while trapped in human form by self harming, his relationship with Mabel forming transactionally, Bill trying to control Ford because Bill feels like he needs that to feel secure rather than having an equal partnership, The Axolotl and the first few flashbacks giving context to some of Bill’s actions, and closing out with the big moment between Ford and Bill at the party where he admits he cares about Ford for more than just what he could get from him.

Once I’m satisfied that I’m building the story toward what I’m trying to prove. I move on to the next section. So that’s my wild scientific method approach to big writing projects or even small ones!

As for the “forgetting to do necessary shit”. I set timers for how long I’m going to do what I’m doing and, once they go off, I give myself a few minutes to finish up whatever I’m working on and switch tasks. You can also use this in other areas of life. It’s been super helpful for me when balancing out work and leisure, but if it doesn’t work for you that’s fine too. Everyone’s different.

Procrastinating on “Necessary but unpleasant shit” I try to minimize by making it fun somehow. I plan my schedule a day in advance so I know what’s coming and if it’s a task I find difficult I try to add some element of fun to it. I turn on music or an audiobook when I clean and cook or wear an outfit that makes me feel good. I personally HATE exercising, so I bought a tiny treadmill and instead of sitting watching tv in the evenings, I put the tiny treadmill down and walk on it while watching something I like.

I also try to reframe thinking about the things I don’t want to do in a positive way. Folding the laundry means I get it out of my chair I like to sit in and read books. Vacuuming the floor is getting rid of bad energy and making the carpet soft again. Try to approach things as an adventure rather than a chore. Some stuff can be harder than others to grapple with, but, to quote the jogging Monkey in Bojack Horseman “Every day it gets a little easier, but you’ve got to do it every day. That’s the hard part. But it does get easier.”

Not to get all philosophical, but we only do have this one life. Even if it’s quiet and ordinary or hard sometimes, it’s better to try not to hate it or see just going through your day as something to dread. I’ve found that there’s actually a lot of tiny little things to love around every corner if you go looking for them.

If new things are making you uncomfortable, try what I like to call ‘safe spontaneity’. If I get unsatisfied with what I’m doing I’ll do something small that’s new and adds variety. Try out a new restaurant or a new type of food for one meal. Take 30min-1hr to learn about something that interests you outside of what you normally look at (I say having just finished two documentaries about Oceangate 😅😅). Find tiny ways to switch things up so you still have predictably and structure, but you add something new and grow your world a tiny bit more. Even if you end up hating whatever it is, at least you know you don’t like it and not to do it again! Allow yourself to grow and change at your own pace 🥰💗💗.

This was REALLY long and probably too much information, but I hope it helped!

@anon-22866634

[astrum-aetherium]

Ok but important question, would Henry be a index and middle finger guy or a middle and ring finger type of guy?? Just some food for thought hehe ;);)

(I think middle and ring finger but who knows)

— mouse ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐷ

turns out that this, despite being so minute a detail, is immensely important to me. i have to say, mouse (how cute is that added symbol btw!! love, love, love it) that i agree with you. i 100% see him as a middle and ring finger guy. i don't even have to argue with you on that one, i'm completely on board.

as additional food for thought — a snack so to say — let's consider the following: his hand would be large enough for him employ either his thumb or the bottom of his palm so as to stimulate your clit in time with the pumping as well, and just think about that added pleasure.

also, for the ring lovers: picture him sliding it/them off, provocatively and teasingly slowly, in front of your eyes right before he gets to it. makes me shudder.

[javierduffy]

different.

[pnkzero]

Hello! I JUST woke up and saw this, and since you asked for opinions, I'm going on an embarrassingly long and self indulgent rant about this topic! Below is what I wrote straight up after leaving the soft, warm comfort of my bed.

I've thought about this exact topic before and actually pretty recently, too. While I agree with most of what you wrote, I think frankly that Nny would simply hate the concept of "race" existing in the first place. I imagine he's not impervious to prejudice and hatred, which is clear in the comic since he's often picked on and sometimes even physically attacked for his looks.

Exempli gratia, this panel here in issue five, where he gets shoved around for being weak, ugly, skinny and generally unmasculine.

And he DOES say, in this exact panel, that people that use racial oppression as a shield while only reinforcing old stereotypes, just like you said. But I'm not entirely sure he'd be "anti-woke" or be mad at the idea of people finding community in certain aspects of themselves. I think he'd be more angry at the concept of race even BEING a thing. In another panel, that I CANNOT find for the life of me, Nny attacks a predator that was trying to hurt Todd. If memory doesn't fail me, he cuts off his hands and kills him, and shows Todd the predator's brain. He goes on about how some people call other people monsters, but that there's no such thing, as everyone has the same shit inside them and therefore is, ultimately, the same.

I think he would think similarly about race. I might be projecting; because I, myself, am BAFFLED at the notion that so many foreign people still genuinely use the word "race" to describe someone's ethnicity or even just skin colour. Einstein went over this a while ago, there's no such thing as race, just the human race. That said, I think Nny is rather intelligent, when he's lucid enough to actually follow reason, even if just for a little bit. And I think he'd come to my same conclusion in matters of race, albeit maybe more exaggerated in his way of thinking. That being that there is no such thing as race, and that everyone who thinks differently must be intellectually and emotionally stunted. I think he'd be able to understand that literally nothing distinguishes us from one another, apart from our actions (although as humans, our behaviour tends to fall into patterns).

We choose to act the way we do. The people that Nny kills chose to bully him. Nny chooses to kill people. Everything else, (skin colour, ethnicity, nationality, sexual attraction, fetishes, likes, dislikes...) is there by chance. We can't choose that. That's why I think Nny would only REALLY judge people based on their choices, hating whoever chooses to suck or yes, even someone who chooses to make their queer identity "their whole personality". All that to say, I don't think he'd reject his race. I think he'd reject the concept of race itself. I think he'd reject the idea that, because of the way he looks, he's categorised as something HE didn't choose. He can't choose to not be labelled as Mexican or brown like he can't choose to not be labelled as gay, ugly or skinny. He looks the way he does, and people will make assumptions based on his appearance. Full stop. That happens, to everybody, always. And I feel he would be especially pissed about being perceived, in general. Which is also why I think he kills, sometimes. We, the readers, are well aware he sometimes kills people for no apparent reason. I think one of the reasons he kills without an apparent motive is for the simple fact that he was being perceived, and it drives him mad that he can't stop it. Except he can. He can kill whoever perceives him, ultimately stopping that person from doing so. It gives him power over it; they can't perceive him as anything, because they are no longer conscious enough to.

And of course he would think race wars are stupid, everyone with more than three working neurons in their head can understand that fighting over physical attributes that are out of our control and/or slight and harmless cultural differences is stupid. (Not insulting you or anyone specific, just saying)

As for his gender identity, I completely agree. I don't think he's either cisgender OR heterosexual, but I do agree he'd HATE being labelled as anything. I don't necessarily think he doesn't like labels to begin with, at all, but I do think he'd hate being forced into a box by someone else... As shown in the comic, since he kills several people for calling him a faggot. In my opinion, in those cases, he's not JUST angry with being called a derogatory slur, he's angry that he's being CALLED. He never told these people whether or not he's attracted to men, therefore they shouldn't ASSUME he's attracted to anyone at all. Because that's his business, and unless he decided to share this peculiarity of his, nobody should bother him about it. The same could be said about his ethnicity. He never went out of his way to announce that he's Mexican, so nobody should feel the need to bother him about it.

Anyway, yeah. That's what I think. To make a long story very short, I (relatively) agree with you.

And this is just stuff that's on my mind, but Johnny's relationship with his race could be explored a little. Sometimes it frustrates me when I read that Vasquez gets annoyed that people call him pale, and asks the reader if he even looks like someone who is pale, but the thing is... all official stuff of Johnny that is colored could reasonably pass as white, and this comes across to me as Vasquez intending for Johnny to visibly not be white, yet failing to execute this properly... which is why I appreciate whenever I see fanartists draw him with a darker tone

Anyway, my point here was initially going to be about how Johnny most likely isn't connected to his heritage at all, and considers himself someone who "happens to be Mexican" rather than a Mexican—he's too dissociated to even factor in his race, but I like to imagine that there would be times where it catches him off guard, like maybe he'd eat some Mexican dish and suddenly it reminds of something—home, ostensibly, but his memory fails him and he can't be too sure—all he knows is that it's familiar.

I've also played around with what his relationship with language and bilingualism would be like, I personally believe that he has on multiple occasions forgotten that he knows Spanish, and will overhear conversations and go, Huh. Right. I can understand what they're saying. as a result of that aforementioned dissociation. It's not like he doesn't know he knows Spanish, it's just something he gets reminded of. I also don't think he is particularly fluent, but understands it just fine—he's probably better at listening and speaking (and can hold a conversation if suddenly thrown into one) than he is reading and especially writing.

Another thing I wanted to bring up is the idea of Johnny rejecting his race, not because of super internalized racism (although it does play a slight role into this kind of behavior), but because he's the type of person to be like "race wars are stupid, we all suck" and hate the kind of people who "use race as a shield" because they are oppressed—kind of in this "anti-woke" mindset (despite literally being the guy in the pic) when he's really just mad at the idea of anyone finding community in anything. He is so isolated that he can't fathom why people of color would want to do this and build community because he thinks everyone ever sucks and is against him one way or another. (Kind of like how I don't think Johnny is particularly cis, but would absolutely hate being called trans and/or nonbinary, and would hate the kind of queer person who "makes it their personality.") I can't tell if this last part here makes sense but let me know what you guys think, this isn't a topic I really see talked about.

[snipeheart]

Nighthawk disappears behind an oncoming team of medical specialists. Piers is overwhelmed with, perhaps not fear for his life, but fear for his future. It's easy to say he doesn't care about his own safety, but now that he has little else to worry about, he can only admit to himself that he doesn't want to become a monster.

The swarm of doctors busies themselves around him, and for their part, Piers will comemnd their bravery and lack of hesitation. He certainly had no end of caution when dealing with J'avo and other bioweapons himself. The entire time, he is straining to control his new limb--the sensations and muscles still aren't aligned the way they should be, and he fears that if he moves wrong, a violent blast of electricy will be set off.

Piers has never been examined to such an extent, and he can tell that much even while in the thrall of C-Virus infection. Aches consume his body, almost but not entirely focused on his arm. His awareness of them and the other pains--burns, stings, and agony worth screaming at the top of his lungs--vascillates in and out. Sometimes he cannot think straight and spasms, other times he lays there in a barely-lucid stupor.

He hears many things while drifting in and out of consciousness. Names, callsigns, directives, requests for more materials, data on his vitals... Some of it makes sense, most of it doesn't. References were made to doctors he hadn't met, calls were made to offices somewhere else in the facility. Names like Vector and Beltway and Spectre found his ears and meant nothing. If you need anything, press that button, he hears.

At the end of his ordeal, he lays in a hospital bed in a state most would declare summarily pathetic. He does not want to think about what he looks like. The physical feeling of it is bad enough. And eventually, he blacks out, letting sleep take him and only hoping that, when he wakes up, if not cured, then that he's at least not mutated any further. Or even if not that, then that he's at least still Piers Nivans.

Nightmares crawl around the inside of his brain as he sleeps...

Apollo starts to lose focus.

Hawk watches his body slump and lean forward, eyes drift as he talks, hardly responding to any of the terms and conditions laid out, and never offering negotiations in turn like Nighthawk had hoped.

The towels are taken shakily- and used to wipe away something that pops and hisses from the cracked skin on his face.

That acrid smell-

The mutant pulls back the towels from his face, soiled in blood and mucusy matter, a jelly-like cap that resembled something like an eye lay in palm, quivering with the man's shaking.

"I....I need a doctor. I need doctors...!" "Yeah, I got you," Hawk says, leaping quickly over to the call button, and pressing it quickly, "Lay back, you're going to be fine."

Hawk's voice goes terse with insistence, before he clears the room to make way for the team of medics assigned to the ward.

Apollo's a unique case. Sometimes that's a good thing, most of the time, it's not.

C-virus is such a new thing to deal with that the doctors aren't sure at first what needed to be done, or if the vitals were worth taking for something that wasn't guaranteed to operate with what was considered normal human standards. The mutagenesis and necrobiology and xenobiology of the species was poorly understood.

One thing was certain- the body temperature was way too high, and they would have to deal with that first to prevent the biohazard from also becoming a fire hazard.

The team works to cool him with damp towels, at first, before spare hands could bring in ice to pack close to the core.

Once that was set, and temperatures were at decent levels, one of the doctors gently chastized him.

"Look at your skin. If I pull it, it won't set back. You're dehydrated. You shouldn't take out your own IV."

They proceed with setting up monitors for vitals, a slow drip of saline, gauzing wounds, and taking measurements for the exposed cavity, and giving him an injectible, slow-release painkiller.

"If you need anything, press that button," he is told.

[mokeonn]

Honestly, having multiple older customers at my job encourage me to vote by telling me that "it's between freedom (trump) or socialism (harris)" or some other "vote trump" talking point has genuinely encouraged me to vote far more than any "vote blue" posts on this hellsite ever have. Like fuck yeah I'll vote for socialism cheers comrade

[marigoldbaker]

sometimes i see a distant glimpse of the road i coulda traveled had i committed to going into for-real full time english literature study and i yearn. just a little

[joshuaalbert]

another thing I do wish had at least come up in ds9 while talking about the bajoran faith is the idea of just like. secular bajorans. I think the way they’re written that’s kind of ‘everyone just believes in the religion and that’s it’ is honestly a little flat? but I think there would be people who have a very complicated relationship with the prophets, who maybe didn’t believe in them before the events of the show and now maybe they have to but they think of them more as the wormhole aliens rather than gods, or just don’t believe (anymore, if they once did) that they should be worshipped because they allowed the events of the occupation to happen. but that wouldn’t mean entirely disengaging from the practices of religion as a community thing, or as comfort in times of need bc sometimes that sense of ritual can be a good one, who still wear the earring not so much as a sign of faith but just as a sign of being bajoran and being connected to their people.

idk not to sound like I’m overexplaining secular approaches to an ethnoreligion when that’s a lot of people’s lived experience but I’m just kind of thinking about what it would look like in this context, and I don’t know that it ever would have been a whole plotline but I think a mention could have been interesting. maybe something as small as rearranging duty schedules and it’s something that would interfere with religious services, but a couple specific bajorans are willing to take that because they’re not religious, and it’s a one line mention (which is the kind of thing ds9 often did well so it would feel natural), but it makes them a little less homogenous as a species.

[crossbackpoke-check]

about to be sooo nosy so. my apologies. but. morgan frost? girlfriend? do share (or don’t! again this is so nosy i’m sorry)

for legal purposes i can neither confirm nor deny anything about morgan and his girlfriend but afaik i think he’s single right now? at one point (within the past four years 😭) he did for sure have a girlfriend and that is the extent of my wag knowledge

[rervraiilstew]

flipping people off tic they could never make me like you.