#else i can do
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flipping people off tic they could never make me like you.
#GENUINELY about to blow a fuse. i hate tics.#if anyone tells me “oh hahah so you can flip people off whenever you want and blame it on ___? that's so lucky!!” im going to kill someone#ive had tics for years but only in the past year or two have they become more noticeable and self-injuring. especially since june/july.#i cant get diagnosed with anything. on the occasion that i asked i just say i have tics and leave it at that. there is literally nothing#else i can do#and i cant even tic freely at school around friends who know about this.#if a teacher catches on or thinks i could be on drugs and asks/contacts my parents about it im fucked. if a friend accidentally tells a pare#nt about it im fucked. if my BROTHER tells my parents im fucked.#like dont get me wrong. they arent shitty people and they ARE compassionate and sympathetic.#they just arent empathetic. they cannot put themselves in others shoes ESPECIALLY relating to things like anxiety & mental illness#& disability.#at one point my brother told my mom that he thought he might have ADHD. she immediately got pretty mad and went off with the whole “you're t#he same as me now/when i was a kid and //I// dont have ADHD.“ like ffs.#and honestly i might be worse off. i cant help but suspect that because im “smart” and “gifted” that to them#i cant POSSIBLY have anything wrong with me mentally or physically or emotionally. ESPECIALLY when its something that has the stigma and#connotations that tic disorders as a whole have. literally the only place where i can have a relief from this shit is locked in my room. and#even then my dad's always in the room next to mine and my parent's room is across the hall.#*btw the reason i can't get diagnosed with anything is because of my parents and their shitty empathy skills towards anyone who#isnt neurotypical or able bodied. like i love my parents i really do but ffs man it gets to a point sometimes.#dont mind all the typos in this i only got ~ 3 hours of sleep last night#tw tics#delete later
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missed the mark by (looks at calendar) uhhh. hm. but I really wanted to do something for the 5th anniversary! happy five years to these idiots 🎉
#art#twisted wonderland#twst 5th anniversary#i'll stop for a while now i promise i just wanted to get this out#genuinely feels a bit weird to be 5 years in already huh!#that combined with having finally finished up episode 7...#oh no all the milestones hit at once help#hold on while i reminisce for a moment#because MAN i did not expect the anime disney boy game to become so special to me#(especially my little wet rat dragon and his family)#to be fair 2020 onward was uhhh let's say prime timing for a piece of silly and unapologetically indulgent media#(not to get too real here or anything but let's just say that. some of the stuff in 7 specifically did hit a bit harder than it should've.)#but also just. you know how it goes.#sometimes a thing doesn't so much speak to you as it reaches out and grabs you by the throat#with an intensity that shocks and bewilders no one more than you#and sure you can ignore it because having any emotions about media beyond faint scorn is of course the epitome of ~cringe~#but you could also just throw yourself wholeheartedly into it#and lemme tell you one of those options is a hell of a lot more fun#idk i'm just kinda rambling here#it's been a weird five years but i'm glad to have had these guys for it#and hey if nothing else it gave us meleanor#the inside of my brain at any given point is just the 'do it for her' meme covered in pictures of our late great dragon princess#i would not have it any other way
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Did you hear Elon wants to buy Hasbro?

#we live in the worst timeline#transformers#bee talks#please PLEASE LEAVE US ALONE#watch the right pussify transforms thinking they’re doing the opposite#it’ll be like a watered down bayverse#just less funny and more whiny about pronouns and lesbians and whatever else grown men complain about#i can see it now#AUTOBOTS! roll out and stop those gays!
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I LOVE ALL OF THESE CHARACTERS BTW. I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOUR HATE FOR THEM ON MY POST
#textboxes#deltarune#susie deltarune#lancer deltarune#kris dreemurr#ralsei#my art#long post#hi welcome to my secret notes about this textbox adventure!#my developer's commemtary if you will.#i originally drew susiezilla in her light world color palette. but i changed it afterwards because i realized she likes herself better in#the dark world than in the light world. if she were to draw an idealized version of herself it'd be based on her dark world form.#if you pay attention to kris' drawing you'll see that they tried to give it big angel wings. but it's kind of hard to do that when you can'#control yourself.#i named Urisk that to complete the . uhm. quadfecta?#Frisk Urisk Chara Kris. or FUCK for short.#i was going to give urisk angel features because they're so Good. but i realized ralsei probably considers devils to be good rather than#angels. since he exists to banish the angel's heaven and all the heroes have strong devil motifs surrounding them.#i still gave them a halo though bc i still wanted them to seem Good.#i feel like the pacing on this one could have used some improvement#but overall i'm just happy i got it done! i'm very proud of it :]#that's the thing about these textboxes. it's really hard to go back and change previous textboxes#you've just gotta keep on chuggin forward until you reach the end! no looking back!#anyway i hope you enjoyed this one! :3#oh also. i put kris on the opposite side of everyone else to symbolize their isolation from everyone else bc of the soul#okay actually i have more to say. so susie's drawing looks like something hou could actually draw on a paper#meanwhile ralsei's was based on the drawing on his unused manual. which has pure black outlines and perfectly filled colors like it was mad#in ms paint. also i was originally going to include noelle and berdly in this too#berdly's OC was going go be Super Lord Berdly; Mayor of Smartopia#and noelle's OC was going to be really beautiful but really tragic
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chicana miku 🤎
#you have no idea how fast I was drawing tryna finish it before the trend dies#thats why the backround is like half collage#I was not gonna try to draw a 64 impala from memory in <3 hours lol#it looks rushed because it is haha#anyways#miku#international miku#yes I'm aware chicana miku is american but at least theres a mexican cultural aspect happening#I didnt see anyone else doing this one so if peole can draw 'boston' miku I'm doing what I want#hatsune miku#digital art
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10 years later
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#fushiguro megumi#nobara kugisaki#itafushi#itafushikugi#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#least heterosexual group photo ive ever drawn tbh#u have the kings of subtle pda and their judgy lesbian third wheel#this does remind me a lot of the kind of art i used to do jhgdjghdfj#specifically that one furuba main trio piece i did forever ago. same vibe better art#anyway......i tried my best........ i tried so hard#i do not know how old they look . the goal was 25/26 but atp i've gaslit myself into thinking they look the same#especially megumi im so . throws hands in the air in defeat#but idk what else i can do cries at least i like it??? i think???????#i don't know!!! if they look younger than 25 whatever!!!!!!!!#why is it so hard fr me to make chars look older im gna slam my head against the door#maybe its fine. idc <- (lie)#in other news itfs are married fight me abt it . yuuji rockin the right hand ring fr Lack Of Finger reasons#also i am Eating nobara's fit . she might also look a bit younger than intended the more i look at her gDI why cant i have nice things#new hairstyle carrying tbh. i think she would a. grow it out and b. switch the side she parts it on to make Seeing easier#god just take it all tht really matters 2 me is low pony nobara and Rings On Fingers itfs#i did my time in yoi i know how to make wedding bands Work
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sometimes, it's not so much about the romance as it is about the devotion. the adoration.
#pacific rim#black sails#the x-files#the bear#game of thrones#raleigh x mako#jack x anne#msr#sydcarmy#theonsa#i could go on forever i think#for me personally it is also about the romance and i do think they should all kiss and be in love but thats not THE POINT-#*adam scott meme* its about the vulnerability and unconditional care one has with someone else#how many different ways can i make this same post lets count
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it’s not necessarily that I hate the themes most prevalent in fiction set in the real world and it’s not necessarily that I don’t like stories revolving around real people or relationship drama or interpersonal issues it’s more like im a dog who doesn’t recognize that a pill is still a pill if it has peanut butter on it. I need like the little peanut butter spoonful that is aliens or robots or monsters or time travel or something fantastical and not at all down to earth real life so that you can approach me and be like “this story is about how friendships can deteriorate over time and also how this guy feels bad for being a bad friend and causing his buddy problems with their girlfriend” and then look at me making a face at you and be like “AND! they’re all aliens who are doing all that across spacetime” and I’ll be like OHHHHHH OKAY YAY (shlop shlap shlup the sound of a dog horking down peanut butter pills) wow what a poignant story
#kipspeak#I tend to gravitate away from things that are that close to real life for reasons im still sussing out. Feels like work? Feels too direct?#Maybe it’s just not fun? But you could tell the EXACT SAME story just with magic sword knights and I’ll be like YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY#I dunno. I feel like that’s slightly shallow of me but I also feel like I don’t care and it’s my house and I can think stories set on norma#Earth with nothing else different are boring#It’s like when they’re real life like that#Every theme they try to get across comes and sits in my house and goes Hey. I’m telling you about YOU and THE WORLD.#And im like ugh. Okay. Whereas magic sword knights do that and im like omg…. They’re telling us about You and The World. That’s crazy……#It is also maybe a little bit that I don’t like interpersonal drama as the driving focus of a story#They should go to space about it#otherwise im in class and I need to adopt an entirely different mindset to be able to have fun with what you just gave me#man these guys aren’t even furries. Lame dude……
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he's so cute and sillyyy 😫 my goood, look at him, just look at him!! how do we even have the nerve to pump his life with angst? my dude deserves to be happy 24/7







#this guy is impossible to hate. it's just so so impossible#i actually think he doesn't have any sworn enemies among the decepticons bc even they can't really hate him#no matter what you will like him#it just automatically happens. it can't be any other way#people are like NO we forbid you here strange extraterrestrial robots! find yourself a home somewhere else! we don't want your problems!#and then optimus is like okay you leave me no choice... here are my secret weapon#and jazz comes out and smiles and says “hi there tiny dudes 👋😄”#and people are charmed. okay autobots you can do whatever you want on this planet as long as you keep this little cutie with you#tf jazz#jazz transformers#transformers#maccadam#tf
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was talking with a friend about how some of dunmeshi fаndom misunderstands kabru's initial feelings towards laios.
to sum up kabru's situation via a self-contained modernized metaphor:
kabru is like a guy who lost his entire family in a highly traumatic car accident. years later he joins a discord server and takes note of laios, another server member who seems interesting, so they start chatting. then laios reveals his special interest and favorite movie of all time is David Cronenberg's Crash (1996), and invites kabru to go watch a demolition derby with him
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#kabru#kabru already added laios as a discord friend. everyone else in the server can see laios excitedly asking kabru to go with him#what would You even Do in this situation. how would YOU feel?#basically: kabru isnt a laios-hater! hes just in shock bc Thats His Trauma. the key part is kabru still says yes#bc he wants to get to know laios. to understand why laios would be so fascinated by something horrific to him#and ALSO bc even while in shock kabru can still tell laios has unique expertise + knowledge that Could be used for Good#even if kabru doesnt fully trust laios yet (bc kabru just started talking to the guy 2 hours ago. they barely know each other)#kabru also understands that getting to know ppl (esp laios) means having to get to know their passions. even if it triggers his trauma here#but thats too much to fit in this metaphor/analogy. this is NOT an AU! its not supposed to cover everything abt kabru or laios' character!#its a self-contained metaphor written Specifically to be more easily relatable+thus easy to understand for general ppl online#(ie. assumed discord users. hence why i said (a non-specific) 'discord server' and not something specific like 'car repair subreddit')#its for ppl who mightve not fully grasped kabru's character+intentions and think hes being mean/'chaotic'/murderous.#to place ppl in kabru's shoes in an emotionally similar situation thats more possible/grounded in irl experiences and contexts.#and also for the movie punchline#mynn.txt#dm text#crossposting my tweets onto here since my friends suggested so
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First meeting
#stobotnik#doctor ivo robotnik#agent stone#sonic movie universe#i hope you all are noticing what i'm doing with stone's clothes specifically#white shirt pre robotnik black to fit his goth boss then colors when ivo starts wearing red#also i know we all like to think robotnik hated being assigned an agent but i present to you:#he sees it as a symbol of status kinda. stone hates being here#it just feels right to me. it's not that robotnik thinks the agent will be useful at all#he's just pleased that he got one#everyone else has an assistant why shouldn't he?#this ties to a very very stupid headcanon i have#and it's that robotnik's blood type is O negative#HEAR ME OUT he would hate that. he would hate being an universal donnor because he doesn't care about saving lives of humans ew#but then stone is also O negative so that means robotnik can receive blood from him if necessary#and that's mostly the reason why he was chosen to be his assistant#ivo is too important to die! and O negative blood isn't that common#Stone knows but probably no one told robotnik#then of course imagine stone getting injured and needing blood and ivo is like wait i can do that it doesn't matter what his blood type is#you get the point#i think. i'm pretty sure there was a point#oh well#oh the no hr joke. they're a shady goverment organization i don't think they treat their people that well#that being said maybe robotnik's treatment of stone was the reason they had to get an hr department who knows
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daisies
#kingdom come deliverance#kcd2 fanart#kcd2#hansry#i need to let this picture go so i can go do something else#and by something else i mean go to bed#4:40AM
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i'm making myself laugh thinking about this but I wholeheartedly believe madame morrible absolutely HATES the thought of glinda and elphaba being together like the mere mention of gelphie would probably send her into immediate cardiac arrest and it's not even because she's homophobic or anything I just fully believe she dislikes glinda so so much she's just like this is absolutely NOT happening in my house.
glinda and elphaba are having their gay ass moment and she's like "I sense a disturbance in the force; the wind is telling me those fucking lesbians are at it again."
like IK this woman hates to see glinda's fruity ass coming for several reasons but first and foremost I believe it's because she's so fucking ANNOYED by how much elphaba loves and cares for her, like this pink bitch is throwing a wrench in her plans just by EXISTING and being herself.
and she can't even really do anything to glinda because it'll make elphaba upset and she really can't have that so she just has to sit there and be like
#wicked#wicked 2024#shitpost#my hand slipped oh no#madame morrible#glinda upland#elphaba thropp#gelphie#imagine being her for a second yk#like that scene just before the ballroom scene where elphaba comes to her#asks her to include glinda in their classes#and threatens to QUIT if she doesn't do it right that instant#and you're there like girl wtf???#i thought we hated her why are you up in her ass rn???#do you think she saw whatever sort of horrible homoerotic tension they had going on during loathing#and she was like yk what this is fine i can deal with this im sure this won't lead to anything#and cue elphaba banging on her door at 2am#i would've taken a bottle of aspirin and gone to bed like BYE#can't deal with these damn lesbians again#i just KNOW she was cursing glinda out#also again madame morrible's plan hinged on elphaba being so starved for love and approval she'd do whatever she and the wizard wanted#BUT WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN SHE GETS LOVE AND VALIDATION FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE#LIKE THIS WAS NOT ACCORDING TO PLAN#WHERE DID THE PINK LESBIAN COME FROM???
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"I've been thinking of a new recipe lately.."
#can you tell I'm struggling to come up with dialogue#march's and balor's came so easily to me#I think I'm pausing on the FoM marriage candidates portraits for now#want to do smth else to spark some creativity again cus I'm feeling stale#fields of mistria#fom reina#fom fanart#o0kawaii0o
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Batboys profiles
#just some practice#doodles#pls don’t expect this from me ever again I can only do good profiles and nothing else#bruce wayne#batman#dick grayson#nightwing#jason todd#red hood#tim drake#red robin#damian wayne#robin#batfam#batfam fanart#batkids#batdad#art#my art#digital art#fanart#doodle#dc#dc comics
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i'm a little afraid to go to pride this year. many of us are, a little. sitting around our tapas and video games, the silence that hangs over the discord server. it feels different, we say.
we're privileged. the community that came before us laid the groundwork so i could be raised in a different world, and i will never forget their sacrifices and dedication. they gave us this: a pride that feels like community and celebration and joy. i remember the first few times i went to a queer event - i'd been raised so catholic. feeling safe like that, for the first time... it saved my life. i go to pride to celebrate that feeling - my people, laughing. out in the sun, the way we couldn't have been even 25 years ago. that feeling: no wonder we call it "pride."
who am i to be afraid anyway. there are parts of the world where people are doing much better work than i am. but it's just: i felt at home there, you know? and this year feels different. we are waiting on the dam to break. last year, at boston pride, there was a whole gaggle of sign-holders shouting about jesus. you walk around them and try not to let it get to you.
this year, i'm going to DC's pride with my girlfriend. google sends me concerns about if it's safe to exist in trump's america, if World Pride is a bigass target on all of us. every article uses the words "safety concerns" many, many times. three days ago i witnessed a shooting.
even straight people keep telling me - people are weird lately. sometimes we blame it on Covid and sometimes we blame it on the full moon. but i do remember a time before this, right. it's not just that people are more comfortable being rude. it's this strange, outwards violence. a comfort in being cruel.
it's a big hole to fall down anyway. it's not like they're going to do anything to make pride safe, not really. i don't want a police presence as the solution. and what if this is just fearmongering! what if this is just to get us to stop attending our own events! what if everything is actually fine, and i'm just freaked out by the stated intentions of our president!
and what if i'm just listening to things that are being said. what if i'm weighing the shape and size of this america accurately.
my mother calls me. she's been getting the articles too. i assure her i'll be careful, but i put the phone down and stare at it. i'm going to go to pride. other people made it safe for me, it is my duty and my honor to show up for my community. the only thing we've ever had was each other. it was always an act of bravery. being ourselves is brave.
but i am afraid. i lay out my outfit and i kiss my girlfriend. i cut my nails and clean up my undercut. i hold her hand and hang the sunset flag. the sound of this america feels different. like a volcano trembling. i will love her and i will love being queer and i will sing over the noise of it.
but ... still. in the back of my mind. that feeling, like something terrible has been shifted. like somewhere in the night - they remembered we're different.
#spilled ink#warm up#please do not be weird on this#i hate when i express a real fear/etc that is normal to have -- like being scared of violence in trump's america#and ppl immediately are like ''isn't it nice ur afraid this year but u haven't been previously??? imagine being afraid every year''#not the point of this post and also not true just not included in the body of the work. u do not know me personally.#''ur lucky u have a pride'' yes i know this & am aware of it. can still be afraid of violence.#''well i think [misunderstanding of the post]''#this is about feeling the genuine shift politically that has occurred in trumps america wherein extremist ideas are more accepted.#'' WELLLLLLL'' . it's a tumblr post. go to bed.#<- poet who has made the mistake of being honest about her feelings 1 too many times#i just write about stuff i think other people can relate to. and i think i've felt this very loudly#and if u dont relate okay! it wasn't written for u then. it was written to comfort someone else.#anyway. i love u all happy pride. genuinely.#come say hi if u see me#feel free to dm me if ur also at pride i'll tell u what im wearing we can hunt each other down for sport#((just realizing right now in the tags that the shooting probably traumatized me lol))
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