#cause i dont want our relationship to change or anything

[divinesolas]

internal changes

summary: your long time betrothed jacaerys heads to winterfell to make good relations with the north, your relationship has always been one of love and happiness until you show up a month into his trip to winterfell where everything seems to have changed between the two of you. your relationship may never be the same and it has everything to do with a particular stark.

jacaerys velaryon x cregan stark x fem!non targ!reader

cw: infidelity, internalized homophobia, queer cregan and jace, threesome, poly relationship, hand job, oral (f), prob ooc for everyone man, p in v, anal, top!cregan, sub!jace, dom!reader, like one smack to the face, ‘sara snow’ mention? (its just cregan), not proofread

an: havent written in a hot minute im rlly rusty but ive gotten asked to write this for forever so here you go 😁

perm jace taglist ! (open) @cruelworldlana @smurfelle @ireneispunk @hxtd @venmondiese @urmomsgirlfriend1 @jacesvelaryons @earth4angels @itsemohours @valdezthg

perm cregan taglist ! (open) @ireneispunk

He had been acting weird since you arrived. avoiding you at every turn, barely speaking to you and it bothered you to no end. His letters to you had been nothing but positive, speaking highly of winterfell and the lord stark who jacaerys also seemed to be avoiding as well.

he spoke about how much he missed you, how much he longed to see you but now that you were actually here he seemed to want nothing to do with you. a month ago you were the love of his life, he was obsessed with you, and now he would not even do so much as look your way.

then you heard the rumor for the first time. It seemed everyone had been trying to hide it from you but you heard it one night. the maids had been talking around the corner. Sara snow. The lord rumored bastard sister. With pretty long dark hair just like her brother. They had been sleeping together for basically his whole time there you presumed, you had even heard they got fucking married in front of the weirwood trees before you showed up.

You were sick. so sick about everything so sick of the thoughts you were having and you grew angry, furious but you managed to stay rational, calm, for now.

“are you happy?” he looked up at you started, you had barged into his room and locked the door quickly behind you. “y/n-“ “i am not angry, i was angry, but this is a very typical thing in marriages here i just wish you had informed me,” He stands up from his desk. readjusting the buttons on his white tunic to cover himself up further as he looked at you alarmed. He looked beautiful and you hate that. His hair wet and face flushed as he tries to find his words.

“i dont know what,” “ive heard the rumors. everyone talks about it, everyone looks at me with pity in their eyes. whether its this sara snow or some other lady i dont care because i believe it.”

He freezes. He looks down at his hands which shake, you wait for him to say something. Anything. a part of you hopes he denies it, even if it would be a lie you pray he can give you some false sense of hope but he doesn’t. merely standing quietly in shame while you let out a soft laugh devoid of anything. “if you wish for our marriage to be one of agreement then so be it. but do not try to trick me into believing itll be anything more than that any longer i refuse it.”

You turn to walk out of the room, no longer being able to stand in his presence but as you go to open the door his voice calls out to you. “there is no other lady.”

You scoff and turn back to him, his eyes are glazed over with tears as his chest rises with heavy breaths. A part of you wants to walk over to him and wipe his tears off his face but you remain firm as you scoff. “do not take me for a fool-“ “i mean it. there is no lady.” he puts an emphasis on the word that has you tilting your head. you open your mouth to question him until the pure desperate look on his face causes it to click. there is no lady. but there is someone.

“im sorry.” he flats and looks as though he did not expect you to say that. “for what? you have nothing to be sorry for it is i who should be-“ “i cannot be mad at you for who you are it is not your fault.” He walks over to you as you close the door, grabbing your hands as he shakes his head. “you miss understand me i like you i love you like i man loves a women but he,” he lets out a frustrated sigh but you can tell its not directed at you, “i love him as i love you.”

When there is a silence in the air for far longer than he likes he squeezes you hard tight as he looks at your blank face. “please say something my love.” “who is it?” he looks down once more as you remain firmly staring at him. “y/n..” “who?” “cregan.” He says his name likes its forbidden, the word travels in the air like a brush of wind but you still hear it all the same.

he doesn’t dare look up at you again as another wave of silences washes over you two. His heart is aching so badly he wants to clutch his chest and fall to the ground. He does not want to be like this, one of those men. He holds himself in higher regard, but he cant help how he feels about the winter wolf who smiles at him so kindly. He thought it could be one and done, manage to shake this illness from his skin and be done with it but it has only gotten worse.

it is wrong. he should not want to love cregan as he loves you. you are his light his world but why does he think of cregan as he thinks of you. Its wrong, immoral. He should be punished, he wishes for you to yell, to scream at him, hit him but you don’t. you merely pull away from him and walk out the room without another word. He drops to his knees when as you shut the door and he clutches his chest as he begin to sob, he is a monster and this fate is a cruel but just punishment in his eyes.

Cregan wake up that morning prepared to walk the same routine he always does. The images of the dark haired prince that flash in his mind go ignored another day as they have been ever since the princess arrived. he did not hate you, no he actually rather liked you a lot but he did miss getting to spend time with jacaerys who clung to his side before you had shown up and now had not even spoken a word to him.

He walks into the hall and pauses. There you sit, arms crossed and two plates of hot foot in front of you. it clicks. he looks around at all the guards and maids in the room, “everyone out.” the room quickly scatters, “and make sure nobody enters.” the doors as shut with a hard slam as he stalks towards you, eyeing you down with a gleam of mischief in his pupils. “its a shock to see you here princess.” “i am not a princess.” he hums as he takes a seat and begins to pick at his food while you merely stare at him. “something the matter?” “how long?”

he raises his brow as he dunks his bread in the soup before shoving it in his mouth, “how long what?” “dont play dumb with me lord stark.” He chuckles leaning back in his chair and you find yourself readjusting in your seat. He watched you with a pleased look as he licks on of his fingers. “not long enough that your pretty little head should be worried about it princess.” “he said he loves you.”

cregans face falls and his face turns serious as he looks at you. He can see the questioning in your eyes and lets out a sigh. “two weeks. but we’ve been friends this whole time. i never meant for it to go further i swear on my sons life. stepping in between the bonds of a betrothal is not my way.”

You hate that you find yourself believing him. you itch at your skin to the point it becomes red. “do you like him?” cregan scratched at his jaw as he moves his food around on his plate. “i do. very much. i apologize.” he watched as you take a deep breath as you stare at your plate, “i will not peruse it, you are his betrothed and it would be inappropriate and wrong of me. i will leave him alone, i will never even glance at him i have disrespected your honor and dignity enough.”

he stared at you waiting for a response, he watches as you bring the bowl of soup to your lips snd take a long sip before placing it back down and wiping the excess from your lips. “would you accept his mother terms here and now so we could leave by the afternoon if i asked?” “yes of course anything you want.”

he expects you to ask him to do it but you merely bring your chalice to your lips as a sinister grin finds its way to your face. “do you find me pretty lord stark?” his brows raise in question but he coughs into his fist, “um, yes i do princess.” he watches as you lean over the table and grin at him sweetly. “just how pretty lord stark?” he almost asks you whats wrong before he feels your foot drag up his leg slowly letting out a shaky breath before a groan as your food digs into his bulge. shakily and breathlessly staring as you as you press your boot covered leg harder against him leaving him gripping the table. “i have an idea im sure you will be pleased with.”

jacaerys is on the edge of cracking. he had not seen you all day. he had gone to your room to ask you to have breakfast with him but he was informed you were not there. he had gone looking for you, searching every corner for you and he found nothing. nobody would even tell him where you were but they all had an odd look in their eyes when they said that to him.

He does end up seeing you, finally with cregan stark on your arm and he feels his heart plummet. “good day jacaerys.” his mouth opens and closes like a fish as he stares at the two of you. “good,,, day,,,?” he watches the look the two of you share as he feels his heart stop, “cregan’s been showing me around a bit would you like to join us?”

He feels like this is a trick. The two of you look far too happy, he gulps and fiddled around a bit before giving you a weak nod. he ends up trailing behind the two of you as the two of you talk about winterfell. you ask cregan about the history of certain things and he eagerly answers your questions. jace is just waiting for the fire to lit, for the two or you to turn on him and begin to berate him.

His mind wanders as he imagines the two of you punishing him the way he deserves, cregan holding him down while you tease his cock, refusing to give him what he truly wanted. He lets out a light whimper as his thoughts continue to run wild and his eyes widen as he coughs into his fist trying to play it off as nothing. He lets out a sigh of relief as the two of you say nothing but he misses the look the two of you share.

You all arrive at a large study, “this was my fathers before he passed.” “do you not use it?” cregan shakes his head, a more somber look on his face. “i should, i will, one day, for now his legacy shall be preserved here.” you hum and nod your head in understanding. you take off your cloak as cregan also begins to strip himself of his outerwear. jacaerys stares at the two of you confused, you walk over to him and begin to untie his cloak from around his neck. “you should make yourself comfortable jace.” “what is happening my love?” he asks you in a hushed voice but you dont answer him, a small smile creeps its way onto your face and he grows worried.

he allows you to strip him down to his undertunic, making no move to fight you his eyes drift behind you to cregan who has made himself really comfortable his undershirt untucked and being held open but just one button, cregan raises his brow at jace as he catches his eyes, taking a long drink from his bottle.

you grab his face and jacaerys blushes, “what are you looking at?” cregan stalks his way over and stands behind jacaerys his hands wrapping around his waist as jacaerys feels his breath caught in his throat as cregan presses his head into his neck.

“you’re such a greedy boy, wanting two people at once huh?” he whines. cregan begins to suck at the skin on his neck. he’s confused. he has no clue whats going on. “what’s happening?” he curses as your hands dip into his pants and harshly grab at his cock, “me and your secret lover have come to an agreement isn’t that right?” cregan lifts his head and hums. He watches in amazement as the two of you share a small kiss and he throbs at the sight of the two people he cares for most being intimate.

“hmm thats right princess.” jacaerys struggles to think as you tug on his throbbing cock, rubbing your thumb around his tip as cregan goes back to sucking on his neck. “since you’re so greedy, you can have us both arent we so kind?” jacaerys moans in delight at this turn of events and buckles his hips into your hand. your face sours and you lightly smack him across the face, “and not a single thank you? you’re disgusting.” jacaerys whines and shakes his head vigorously. “im sorry im sorry thank you thank you i love you.”

He feels cregan chuckle into his neck, his hands pull away the buttons on jacaerys tunic not caring about the now ruining garment as cregan caresses his skin. jacaerys continues to greedily rut his hips into your hands feeling himself closer and closer to his release. He suddenly feels cregan press into his back and he lets out a shudder as cregan begins to grind his hips against jacaerys, his tunic having long been disregarded and their bare skin presses against each other.

Your hands are suddenly pulled off him and cregan also takes a big step away from him and jacaerys whimpers at the loss of contact and the way his cock throbs as his orgasm dies down. “dont think im going to let you get away with this that easily.” your lips are suddenly presses against his and a fury and he eagerly tried to match you. “fucking another man behind my back so cruel.” he whimpers as it feels like a dagger begins to dig into his chest, “im sorry im sorry.” he slurs against your lips messily as you begin to pull him back as you sit on the bed, staring up at him. “prove it.”

He drops down to his knees like he was born to, quickly throwing himself under your skirt and get a taste of you like hes been craving for weeks now. your hand grips the back of his head while he begins to lick at you through your underwear and you look at cregan who takes another chug from his bottle before placing it down and walking back over to the two of you. jacaerys pushes aside your underwear and moans into you as he gets a taste of you. you gasp and look down at jacaerys skirt over head as your free hand grips at the sheets below you. “fuck jace.”

as his lips wrap around your pearl he gasps into you as he feels a body press against him and hands wrap around his cock. “dont think im not gonna join in.” jacaerys heart pounds as he continues to messily eat at you while cregan rubs his hands all over his cock, coating his fingers in his precum before sliding him inside of jace. his back arches and the vibration of his moan has you throwing your head back while cregan works open his hole as hes done plenty of times now.

the pit continues to build in your stomach and you lock eyes with cregan who grins at you and you wipe some sweat off your face, “dont you look pretty?” “shut the fuck up cregan.” the man laughs as he continues to work his fingers inside of jace, “you look so pretty when you’re about to cum doesn’t see jace?” the man though he cant see you now knows the expression on your jace far too well and nods eagerly against you. once you do release jace eagerly licks up every drop before you rip his head away and cregan pulls his fingers out. jacaerys still without any sort of release grows desperate as tears stream down his face.

“im sorry im sorry ill be good i swear please just let me cum please please.” you lean back into the bed and stare at cregan with a mock pondering look, “hmm what do you think my lord you think hes been good enough?” cregan smirks while jacaerys looks up at him with a pleading look, “oh how can you deny this face? look at him.” cregan cups his face in his hands and brushes some of his tears away. you look at jacaerys fucked out face and pretend to ponder for a few more moments while jacaerys squirms in cregans arms before grinning. “fine, come on my love.”

jacaerys heart beams at your words finally calling him by the affectionate name you had given him and he rushes towards you, “undress us.” his hands greedily tug off your clothes stripping you both bare and you grab his face and kiss him lightly. “you know ill always accept you jace, no matter what.” the layered meaning of your words hits him like a truck and the tears continue to well in his eyes, “i do not deserve you.” you shake your head as you affectionately run your fingers through his hair, “if this is who you are i do not mind it. i am serious, the three of us can be together if you so wish. cregan will grow on me im sure.” “im still here you know.”

you lightly chuckle as jacaerys beams at you, “you are the most amazing person i have ever met.” cregan now as bare as the both of you walks towards you two and raises a brow, “am i atleast second place?” jacaerys turns his head towards him, “of course you are.” cregan softly smiles and leans to press a gentle kiss against his lips.

When the two of them pull away the lust returns and you greedily turn jacaerys towards you and pull him into a deep kiss, falling back with him on top of you, “fuck me jace.” he moans as he eagerly lines himself up and pushes into you, shoving his head into the side of your neck as he bottoms out. he begins to work himself into a gentle rhythm before he feel cregans cock press against his hole and he freezes as cregan works his way inside of jacaerys.

jacaerys has never felt so full. so content. with the two people he loves the most bringing him to the heights of pleasure. he hopes his days are like this for the rest of his life, with the two of you by his side. that night after you had left the study and made a mess around cregans room as well he listens to the two of you bicker in bed about the mess youve made in his father study and how his legacy has been tarnished, “is it not strange he has a bed in his study?” “my father spent most of his time in his study, how do you think i was made?” “yuck do not say those things.” “oh you were certainly not complaining as i was eating-“ “oh dont bring up old news stark.” that night jacaerys falls asleep with a big smile on his face your voices lulling him to sleep.

[sl-ut]

the dangers of our desires

(OH MY FUCKING GODDDDDDD why did i actually eat this up so hard (it could be actual hot garbage wrote this while stoned and dont have the patience to edit it)

pairing: stepmother!alicent hightower x targ!stepdaughter!reader

description: as if alicent didn’t have it hard enough, her youngest stepdaughter is returning to the capitol after spending most of her life in the vale, bringing with her more trouble than alicent could have ever imagined for herself.

warnings: stepmother alicent is most def a warning causssseeeee, alicent actually being so homophobic lmaooooo, some religious themes (guilt, trauma, sacrilege of a fictional religion), swearing, smut, unedited (VERYYYYYY, i got stoned and wrote this in one sitting so dont have high hopes for grammar), probably lowk kinkier than anything i’ve ever written but we gonna rock with it anyways, viserys traumatising yet another one of his kids, slight reader description (silver hair and purple eyes), sort of dub-con? (reader and alicent are both a lil tipsy in the end but they both want it so its fine)

words: 5.8K

date posted: 09/09/24

Alicent had been queen all of five months when her youngest stepdaughter was sent to the Vale, both as a political move recommended by her own father, the Hand, in order to restore a connection between the Crown and the Vale following the untimely death of Queen Aemma, and as an act of mercy the king, who wept each and every time he looked upon her little face–guilt and rage consuming him for what decision he had been forced to make in order to her to have survived her birth. 

The day of her departure is engraved so firmly into every single one of their minds, the king’s blank stare, his eldest daughter’s red and tear-streaked face scowling as she barked at her father, the Hand, truly anyone to change their minds, Otto Hightower’s stern order for a Kingsguard to take the eldest princess to her rooms in order to put an end to the scene she had been causing. Alicent felt vacant that day, silently staring into the distance to avoid watching as the princess was loaded into the wheelhouse before it began pulling away and out of the Red Keep. Of course, the entourage that followed her was almost ridiculously large for a child so young, larger than any that had previously accompanied the king himself, but both Rhaenyra and her father had a hand in ensuring maximum protection for the youngest member of the royal family for her long journey. As difficult as Viserys found it to be around his infant daughter, he certainly did not ignore the fact that she was the last piece of his late wife, and he felt that she needed to be well protected because of her status and out of respect for her mother’s memory. The girl was eleven months old.

Alicent made an effort to stay as distant of the young princess as possible; lingering in the doorway as Rhaenyra visited her nursery, avoiding looking directly at her friend as she held the babe to her chest and wept; taking on her duties to the youngest princess as her stepmother from a distance, insisting that any matters of the princess that did not concern the Crown could be dealt with by the princess’s personal household. It was more of a blessing to the new queen that she was being sent away–she no longer would be plagued with guilt each time she shirked away from the motherless girl.

Rhaenyra and Alicent’s already fractured relationship only suffered further after Rhaenyra’s sister was sent to the Vale, especially since Alicent soon after gave birth to her own child with Viserys, and Rhaenyra seemed to be under the impression that Alicent was far more involved in her sister becoming a ward of Lady Arryn than she truly did in order to put her own newborn son ahead. 

The first three years to follow were strangely calm in King’s Landing. Rhaenyra had married Laenor Velaryon, Alicent had given birth to three children of her own, and the realm was still, for the most part, at peace with itself. The youngest princess, last that Alicent had heard, had begun her early education, something that Alicent was supposed to be mostly responsible for arranging, though Alicent told Lady Jeyne in a letter that she trusted the lady’s judgement and faith to the Seven to see that the princess would receive a proper education befitting a Targaryen princess. Jeyne Arryn was a notoriously pious woman, often referred to by the crudest of Westerosi lords as the Maiden of the Vale; any noblewoman who takes an oath of chastity was to be noted with a nickname as such, Alicent noticed, though she’s certain that a man would be honoured and highly regarded for such piety. 

The queen’s perspective of the young princess had shifted in the years to follow–amidst the chaos that Rhaenyra and even Alicent’s own children had been causing at court, Lady Arryn’s letters of praise for the princess were a relief for the Hightower woman, she was the only of the king’s children who was able to refrain from causing her grief, only giving her a touch of a headache by association every time that Rhaenyra fought with her over the decisions being made for her; she needed to have the finest of Valyrian tutors, needed to be as connected with her dragon as possible, deserved to have dozens of new dresses and other luxurious gifts sent to her on a semi-regular basis. If Alicent was not willing to spoil the princess for her mere existence, Rhaenyra was more than willing to do so herself, writing to her younger sister as if she were her own daughter that had been sent away. From the way that the princess had been praised for her beauty, piety, and intelligence, Alicent had felt a breath of fresh air when the king made the decision to call his daughter home in hopes of securing her a suitable husband.

By this point, the princess was ten and eight, far older than most other Targaryen princesses had been permitted to remain unmarried. Rhaenyra had offered to assume the role of her guardian and host her younger sister at Dragonstone while they search for a husband, but Alicent was not blind to her intentions and refused to allow the heir to her sister to Prince Jaecerys–Alicent always been particularly disapproving of the traditional practice of incestuous marriage among the Targaryen dynasty, though she herself had permitted her own two children to be married in order to prevent her sweet Helaena from being swept away by Rhaenyra as a bride for her bastard son. 

In the first few weeks of her presence in the capitol, Alicent found her to be very pleasant. The letters from the Vale could not have been more truthful when they boasted of her beauty and wit, and she had proven to be just as charismatic and cultured in her Valyrian heritage as the most ideal Targaryen princess. She attended her lessons, enjoyed spending time with her younger siblings–even taking an interest in learning of little Daeron’s achievements in Oldtown. Then, as she seemed to become more settled in her new environment, rumours began to reach Alicent’s ears, and she was entirely unsure of how to deal with them.

She had noticed, on several occasions now, that the princess’s sworn protector, Ser Thomas, seemed to be far too comfortable around his charge, and could even be accused of caring for the princess far more than any white cloak should. Alicent was concerned by this, but beyond an intense questioning of both the princess and the knight about some of the rumours being spread, there was very little that she could do (especially considering that her own sworn protector did not hide his affections for her very well, either). The queen had hoped that this would be the worst of the drama, but she would be sorely disappointed in the months to come.

Princess Y/n had made an effort to surround herself with some of the other young ladies at court, constantly being accompanied by some, if not all, of her entourage at all times. Alicent saw nothing truly wrong with this, it was healthy for a girl her age to find companionship with the other ladies at court, but she quickly became alarmed at the sort of company she was choosing to keep.

Most of the ladies flew far below Alicent’s radar, all self-absorbed and desperate as the rest of the court to be any true threat. However, one Lady Mathilde appeared to be different; the girls were very close, often sleeping in the same bed, breaking their fast together, walking in the gardens together… Alicent saw from the beginning that she was cunning, and much too forward for Alicent’s tastes, often being found gossiping or flirting with anyone who would give her the time of day. She feared the impact that such a friendship would have on the princess, but Alicent could not risk insulting Mathilde’s house, who was already quite critical of the Hightower rule.

When she first caught wind of the impropriety that was supposedly taking place among the princess’s social circle, she knew she needed to step in. Far too many times now she had received complaints of the princess and her closest companions enjoying far too much wine in the gardens, or being quite loud well into the night when they all should have been abed, and her response to Alicent’s questioning was becoming more and more irritating for the queen; the modest, obedient girl had turned snarky and unapproachable.

Alicent had reached her wits end, getting the third complaint of the day for the princess’s daily activities, pushing past the knight at her door with a few tense words of dismissal, climbing her way up the stairs and through the unguarded door of the princess’s chambers, noting to herself to have Ser Thomas punished for leaving his post unattended. 

Her feet stopped abruptly, eyes widening at the sight before her as her breath caught in her throat. Before her, on the extravagant four-poster bed, Princess Y/n was splayed out with her shift unlaced to leave her chest exposed as the skirt was bunched around her hips to make room for the girl who knelt between her thighs. Her eyes were closed, silver curls splayed out on the mattress as she arched her back, fingers lacing through the dark locks of Lady Mathilde to hold her face snugly against her cunt. 

For a few moments, Alicent watched. The curve of the princess’s spine lifting from the feather-stuffed mattress, breasts lifting towards the ceiling as the cool of the evening air caused her nipples to harden into tight little pebbles; The sounds of her pleasure, whimpers and curses falling from her lips as the brunette sucked and nibbled at the sensitive folds of her womanhood. Alicent felt her lips purse in response to the involuntary watering of her mouth, fists clenching as she pressed her thighs together for a brief moment. 

She blinked a few times, coming back to herself. Neither of the young ladies seemed to notice the queen’s presence until she loudly cleared her throat, shaking her head to refocus.

Both girls sat up in surprise, the princess rushing to cover herself as the other hastily readjusted her hair and wiped her mouth on the back of her hand. The queen stared at them sternly for a beat before glancing up at the ceiling as she let out a deep sigh.

“Get out,” her voice was clear and commanding, stare coming back to the two figures on the bed and scoffing as either moved, “I said out.”

Lady Mathilde rushed to the door, pulling her robe over herself to protect her modesty as she escaped the princess’s chambers. Alicent did not spare her a second glance, instead choosing to stare directly at her stepdaughter, who seemed uncertain of whether she would be embarrassed or cocky for being caught in such a state.

“Your Grace,” The princess sat up straighter, “Apologies, but I did not hear your knock. As you can see, I was quite… indisposed.”

Alicent scoffed again, “Indisposed. Have you no shame? No decency?”

The princess rolled off of the bed, moving to pull her wine coloured robe over her shoulders and sitting at her vanity, “Decency. I was alone in my own chambers, it is not my fault that you do not feel the need to uphold some boundaries, stepmother.”

“I shouldn’t think it necessary, given your recent behaviour. How else could I prevent you from indulging in your depravities?”

“Worry not, Your Grace, my maidenhead is still intact, if that is your concern. My prospects for marriage will not be harmed.”

“No?” Alicent laughed cynically, “And when the court hears of your indecency? What then, when lords begin to refuse to entertain a woman of such immorality?” 

“I think my Valyrian blood would be enough incentive for most,” The princess scoffed, brushing through her silky hair, “I doubt any would truly care, so long as I provide heirs and a few moments of pleasure. My title and connection to the Crown is of much more importance than my chastity.”

Alicent stormed forward, grasping her stepdaughter’s wrist tightly in her own grasp, “Listen to yourself! Your father, the king, has spent more money than you can even imagine on bringing suitors here for you, hosting feasts and tournaments for you, offering you the finest of lifestyles and education–Think of the opportunities he has given you, and this is how you act?”

“My father,” The princess sneered, pushing herself up to speak directly into her stepmother’s face, “Wasted his coin in doing those things, not for me or for my future, but himself. He could not, in good faith, let me rot in the Vale until I am old and withered, so instead he calls me home, only so he can be rid of me for good. Nothing that fool has ever done has ever been for anyone except for himself–even now, he allows you and your father to rule in his stead, slipping the realm and his family into chaos and not willing to step in and protect anyone but himself–”

The room went dead silent after the loud clap of Alicent’s palm across the princess’s cheek. Both women gasped, Y/n reaching to prod at her swelling cheek while Alicent collected herself.

“You forget yourself. Your father is the king, and you will treat him as such. Everything your father does is in honour of your mother and the love he holds for you and the memories of her that he sees in you,” Alicent gulped, looking away as tears fell over the princess’s cheeks, “Lady Mathilde will be removed from court on the morrow. I should have never allowed her to accompany you in the first place. You will accompany me to the Sept for prayer tomorrow morning, and you will be taking extended lessons with the Septa. You will break your fast and sup with only myself or alone, and you will learn to respect your father, the king, and me, your queen. Now go to bed, and bathe yourself tomorrow morning–Your sin alone is enough to disgrace the sept, let alone any physical signs of it.”

With that, Alicent turned and fled the room, rushing down the stairs and ignoring the greetings of the white cloaks patrolling the halls as she marched into her chambers. She paused, raising her hands to grasp at her face in frustration. 

She cursed silently, then quickly blessed herself. Shaking her head, she began to pull at the laces of her own robe, falling into her plush bed and curling into herself. She was still for a few moments, waiting for her handmaidens to put out the candles and leave the room before she rolled onto her back, shakily pulling her skirt up to her hips and slipping her fingers between her thighs, head rolling back in both pleasure and annoyance at how wet she had become from watching the princess in such a primal, exposed state, breasts heaving with her stuttered breaths and husky moans. Alicent felt that angry bubbling eating away at her gut, intense jealousy surging through her at the thought of that girl touching her, tasting her in the most intimate way possible–what Alicent wouldn’t give to know how it felt to taste a Targaryen princess, a thought she had not entertained in many years.

Alicent grunted, hips stuttering into her own touch as her brows furrowed, unable to find a steady enough rhythm. She quickly rolled herself over, face pressed into her pillow and back arching to lift her dripping core into the air. She reached beneath herself, quickly moving to circle her clit with a steadier, more confident pace. A surprise jolt of pleasure wracked her body, shocked at how sensitive she was with that first touch as a heavy, dragged out moan filtered out of her, brows creasing in concentration as she fell into a steady, but rapidly quickening pace. Her fist tightened into the sheets, arm tensing to push herself up into a sitting position, legs widening impossibly further as she began riding her own fingers, hips stuttering as she reached her peak, and then gradually slowed to a stop. She slid her fingers out of herself, gliding them up her body until she was able to wrap her lips around them, tasting her own juices and imagining it was the princess’s instead. When she finally collapsed back on the bed, rolling onto her back and taking heaving breath as her heart slowed to a normal, steady beat. She laid there silently for a few moments before she finally closed her eyes in embarrassment, cheeks burning red at the memory of what she had done, and more importantly, what had stirred her on.

In the following weeks, she noticed the princess’s behaviour reverted to one that was more akin to how she had acted when she had returned from Vale. In the public eye, she had continued to portray the perfect princess, years worth of practised grace and charisma coming to aid her in impressing the visiting suitors, and even regularly accompanied Alicent to the sept for prayer. Alicent wondered, in the beginning, if she truly just had been in need of a reality check, to be put in her place in order for her to behave. Then, Alicent realised, no one–especially someone so deviant as the princess–returns to the light so easily without still being tempted by the sins of their past. The Hightower queen knew better than anyone that the princess was most certainly still indulging in her desires, and Alicent had just made it more difficult for herself to catch the princess in the act by sending Lady Mathilde away. 

For now, at least, the queen would have to settle with this arrangement. In truth, there was nothing that she could truly do to stop the girl from doing as she pleased, she just hoped she would keep it a private matter. That way, the queen would not have to deal with the matter, nor would she find herself in the position of witnessing and being influenced by the princess’s depravity. 

In fact, Alicent found herself coming to enjoy the princess’s company. She was, after all, dangerously charismatic and carried a wit that kept the queen on her toes. On a personal level, she truly did feel for the princess; her father made little effort to know her after months apart, and yet she was being forced into a marriage with some lord that she doesn't even know for his advantage. Alicent was once in a similar position, and she had a deep understanding of exactly why the young woman was so hostile towards her father.

The eldest son of House Tyrell seemed to be an ideal match for their own young princess. He was handsome, and seemed to have focused much of his time on earning a greater understanding of the princess’s Valyrian culture and heritage. He seemed quite taken with the silver-haired beauty, stealing her away to the dance floor at any given opportunity during the grand feast being held in his honour. Alicent was glad to see it, hoping that this issue would be resolved easily enough once she was focused on a husband of her own, but that itching feeling of suspicion at the base of her spine returned as she watched the princess be dragged away by her potential betrothed’s elder sister, spinning around the dancefloor hand in hand. 

The queen found herself lost in her cups that night. She had been sitting in between her frail husband and the droning lady of Highgarden, her high-pitched voice turning into an annoying ringing in her ears as she watched over the crowd, emerald eyes constantly in search of her stepdaughter in the crowd. On top of everything else, Aegon had been acting up once more, and Rhaenyra’s insistent involvement in her sister’s betrothal leading to the king’s heir, her husband, and all five of her children arriving in King’s Landing. 

She had found it difficult to relinquish some of her everyday activities with the princess to Rhaenyra, who had been at her side since they had arrived, fingers gracing her cheeks affectionately and insisting on doing her sister’s hair on her own. The youngest of Aemma’s children did not belong to the red haired woman, that much she already knew, but Rhaenyra’s presence seemed to pose a threat to Alicent.

Her wandering mind had drawn her eyes to the heir to the throne, where she and her husband stood off to the side conversing with some other lords. She shook her head, rolling her neck back as Lady Tyrell’s blabbering returned to her. Her eyes scanned the crowd, searching for the recognisable head of silver braids amongst the court, lips curling down as she failed to find her. 

Alicent grasped her cup, downing the remainder of the sweet wine and forcing herself to her feet. She barely offered Lady Tyrell a glance as she excused herself, quickly manoeuvring through the crowd. The queen spared no time, immediately turning and taking the far too familiar route to the princess’s chambers, though she only made it about halfway there before she discovered exactly where the princess had escaped to. 

Princess Y/n of House Targaryen was pressed against the stone pillar in a small alcove, helplessly pressing herself against the full figure of the eldest Tyell girl, moaning wantonly into their kiss and paying no mind to the fact that her stepmother had just caught her for the second time. 

“I thought we were past this,” Alicent frowned, the lack of emotion in her voice betraying exactly how enraged she truly was, sending a nervous shiver down Y/n’s spine. 

“Your Grace,” the Tyrell girl curtsied, separating herself from the princess in embarrassment. Alicent felt a touch of relief at how flustered she appeared in comparison to Lady Mathilde. “I–I…”

“Leave us,” Alicent did not remove her eyes from the princess, who shrunk into herself as the lady rushed down the corridor, barely gone for a moment before the queen was grabbing her bicep with a bruising grip and dragging her up the stairs. “I cannot believe you, just when I thought I had gotten through to you.”

The door to Y/n’s bedchambers slammed shut behind them, Alicent dragging the younger woman across the room and throwing her onto the bed, face first. The queen felt her own face burning red, unsure if it was caused by the burning anger inside of her, the wine, or the familiar feeling squeezing at the bottom of her stomach. The princess whimpered, pushing herself up to attempt to turn and face the queen when Alicent’s hand fisted itself into her silver locks, forcing her back down on the mattress.

“You will stay, I think I need to get my point across more thoroughly,” Alicent muttered, using her spare hand to tug at the princess’s skirts until her bare ass was left to the cool evening air.

The queen took a moment to admire her soft, plump flesh, dimpling skin leading down to the silver curls that peeked out from between her thighs. The Hightower woman inhaled deeply, collecting herself, before she finally brought her flat palm down against the meat of her ass. The princess cried out, skin singing with pain as her ring-clad fingerprints were burned into her flesh, limbs fighting to escape her punishment, though the queen seemed to be much stronger than she looked. Alicent continued her assault, watching with a sadistic satisfaction as her handprint was left repeatedly in the princess’s skin. 

“You forced my hand,” The queen grunted, “Everything I have done for you, everything everyone has done for you, and you still betray your duties.”

“I’m sorry!” The princess wept, “I tried, I did! I cannot help it.”

Alicent ignored her and the small pang at her heart, continuing to spank the girl before halting as her fingers landed on the apex of her thighs, a squelching sound echoing from the slap as her fingers found her dripping mound. The queen gasped at the wetness that soaked her fingertips, slowly pulling them away to stare at them.

“Look at you,” She muttered, “No matter the circumstance, no matter the woman, you are dripping and desperate.”

She finally released the princess, allowing her to turn and face her, whimpering as her sensitive ass pressed against the textured furs. She stared up at the queen for a few moments, letting out stuttering breaths as silent tears fell down her cheeks, then she pushed herself up, forcing her face into Alicent’s chest as she wrapped her arms around her, sobs wracking her body.

“I am sorry,” she wept, “I cannot help it, believe me. I wish I was never afflicted like this, but everytime I try to stay on a straight path, I find myself lost once more.”

Alicent’s hand came up to grasp at the back of the princess’s head, engulfing her in an affectionate embrace that was frighteningly soft in comparison to her previous actions. She whispered calming words to her, forcing her face back so she could speak directly to her.

“I understand,” She said, “Everyone struggles with their own afflictions…myself included.” 

“Even you?” The princess sniffled, “You seem so perfect.”

Alicent scoffed, “If I were perfect, my children would be well behaved, the realm would be at peace, and I would be satisfied without my own guilt and sin.”

Y/n exhaled, eyes flickering to the queen’s pouty lips for a brief moment before leaning up, nose brushing against hers. Their breaths mingled, lips ghosting one another’s in order to test the waters, allowing for Alicent to pull away before the decision was made.

She did not.

Alicent wishes she could blame the alcohol that she had consumed, but as her lips crashed against those of the princess, she was brought back to the many nights she had brought herself to her blissful peak with swirling thoughts of the silver-haired woman. Her hands grasped her face, holding her tightly in place as she continued her new assault, this time one that the princess was glad to receive. 

“We will fight this together,” the queen murmured, “We will help one another.”

The princess nodded, desperately pushing her face closer for another kiss, which the queen was happy to offer to her. She moaned at the princess’s taste, the sweetness of her tongue mixed with the sharp taste from the wine she had been drinking. Alicent finally pulled away, forcefully turning the princess around as she made quick work of the lacings of her dress, eagerly helping her remove and step out of the many layers of clothing she’d been wearing. She allowed herself to stare in awe as the princess turned back to face her, breasts heaving in anticipation of the queen’s touch.

“Beautiful,” Alicent murmured, fingers gliding up her sweat-glazed flesh to pinch tightly at one of the princess’s pebbled nipples and smirking at the whimper that escaped her kiss bitten lips. The queen released her touch, turning herself around and calling to the younger woman over her shoulder, “Take off my clothes.”

Y/n giggled behind her, hands finding the queen’s waist as her lips trailed her pale neck. Her voice escaped her in a husky whisper, breath hot against the queen’s ear as her fingers slowly pulled at the green gown, “Yes, Your Grace.” 

Alicent felt a shiver of desire ripple down her spine as her own clothes joined the princess’s in a heap on the floor. She turned as soon as her chemise removed and her skin was left completely bare, pushing herself as close to the princess as possible and capturing her lips in another kiss, both women fighting each other with ferocity and passion before Alicent finally subdued the princess’s attempt to seize control. Y/n pulled back, lips trailing down the queen’s neck, shoulder, and collar bones before she went to work on her breasts. Her tongue dragged over every inch of her bare chest before she finally focused on the hardened pink buds, sucking each into her mouth and offering them equal amounts of attention as she sucked, licked, and nibbled away.

Alicent moaned out, head tilting back as she felt the pleasure course through her. The thick red curls between her thighs felt matted with the amount of juices that had escaped her, and she’d finally had enough. She pulled the younger woman away from her breast, noting the whimper of disappointment that left her lips. Alicent kissed her again, indulging the princess’s desperation as she kissed back eagerly, before she pushed her back, pinching her cheeks together to force her lips into a pout.

“Get on your knees,” Alicent ordered, “Show your queen the fruits of the company that you keep.”

The princess wasted little time, kneeling between the queen’s thighs, leaning forward with an exploratory lick into the mass of red curls. Alicent gasped at the contact, fingers curling into the younger woman’s hair and forcing her face closer. The princess had not been at work for five minutes before Alicent raised her leg, resting her foot on the edge of the bed next to them, using extra support to begin thrusting her hips forward. She chased her orgasm ferociously, rolling her hips against the princess’s tongue, gripping her hair tightly as she guided her face into her and fucked her face ruthlessly.

“Gods, yes,” she sighed, staring down at the violet eyes of her stepdaughter, “You were born for this, to obey your queen.”

She let out a cry of pleasure as her orgasm rolled over her, caused by another person for the first time in her life. Alicent continued to roll her hips, slowing until the aftershocks came to a halt. She pulled her hips back, hauling the princess back to her feet to catch a taste of her own juices on the princess’s lips. Her hands carded down her back, down her back and grasping at the meat of her ass snugly, completely forgetting the tenderness of the flesh until the princess whimpered in discomfort. 

“My apologies, sweetness,” Alicent instead turned to gently massage the flesh, “Allow me to make it better.”

The princess was malleable for the queen as she helped her onto the bed, pushing her onto her belly and forcing her ass up into the air. The queen felt a stab of guilt as she stared down at the swollen skin of her ass, bringing her lips down to press gentle, loving kisses into the flesh before her fingers gripped the skin as softly as possible to spread her cheeks, mouth watering at the sight of her silver curls glistening with arousal. Alicent wasted no more time, pressing her face into the princess’s core with vigour, tongue working her tight hole before lowering to suck at her swollen and throbbing clit. The sounds escaping the princess were more than enough to encourage Alicent’s movements, working her sweet bud until her own release was gushing out, oozing onto Alicent’s tongue. The queen moaned at the taste, slurping up every last drop that she could find. 

Cries of pleasure left the princess’s lip as she shook with the aftershocks, offering no resistance as the Queen rolled her onto her back and paying no attention to what she was doing until another burst of pleasure shot through her at the unexpected feeling of Alicent’s hot, wet core pressing against her own. Both women sighed at the contact, Alicent’s hands coming to rest on either side of the princess’s head as she rocked her hips, pressing their lips together in a weak attempt at silencing their moans as she found a steady pace. 

The only sound heard in the room was the soft clapping of skin on skin, a squelching of their juices mingling together, and the desperate moans escaping both women. Y/n’s hands gripped Alicent’s waist tightly, raking her eyes over the queen’s body as she rode her, fingers crawling up her torso to find her breasts, squeezing and tugging on her heavy breasts. 

“Your Grace,” the princess cried out, back arching off of the mattress, “Pleas–Your Grace, I am close.”

“As am I,” Alicent muttered, head tilted back with her eyes closed, “Gods, gods, yes.”

The princess reached her peak first, body thrashing in the sheets as the wetness between her thighs dripped down onto the sheets, soaking both herself and the queen above her in her juices. Then, Alicent fell over the ledge, fisting the sheets tightly with one hand while the other grasped the princess’s throat, pulling her up to kiss her once more. 

The queen collapsed on top of the princess, red curls mixing with sliver as they lay entirely pressed together. Alicent pressed sweet kisses to the princess’s face, soothing her with gentle praises as she smoothed her hair away. 

“I love you,” The princess muttered, her voice strained with dehydration, “I love you, I love you.”

The queen fought back a smile, “I know, my sweet girl. I know.”

They kissed, this time slow and yearning, a silent agreement of the change in their relationship.

“This changes things, more than you know,” the queen sighed, “But the decision has been made, and I will do everything in my power to protect you from the dangers of our desires.”

“As will I,” the princess whispered, leaning up to taste the queen’s lips once more, both completely unaware of the figure peering at them from the doorway.

[cupcakeslushie]

I dont usually send asks, mostly cause im shy and don’t know what to say lol, but I wanted to share my appreciation for your Kendratello AU, cause it’s helped me recognize a toxic relationship in my own life.

I’ve never been a victim to SA or anything of the likes, so I can’t say I’ve been EXACTLY in Donnie’s place, but something that unsettled me early on when reading your AU was how…NICE Kendra would seem when alone with Donnie.

In a lot of media, especially in the media I saw growing up, the manipulative antagonist almost always had very obvious tells that show they’re evil when interacting with the victim. Maybe they’re talking about committing a very clearly villainous deed, keep the protagonist prisoner, something like that. But Kendra didn’t. Well, not always.

Kendra destroyed Donnie from the foundation up, and then rebuilt him back up to be who she wanted him to be, would punish him but then spin the situation around to be his own fault, but the rest of the time she would seem kind.

Only recently have I realized that someone very close to me has been toxic for most of our lives, and the reason it took me this long to realize it was because they would treat me kindly only until it became in their own interest to act otherwise. But I would take it, because I loved them and didn’t want to hurt their feelings, and I assumed that since they loved me, they wouldn’t ACTUALLY (emotionally) hurt me.

Spoiler alert: they did.

I’m not going to get much more into it, but your AU’s been very comforting to me ever since this happened, because it’s helping me come to terms with the fact that what happened wasn’t my fault just because our relationship seemed nice most of the time.

Your depiction of Kendra manipulating Donnie so realistically, and Donnie slowly but surely realizing that Kendra was hurting him is so powerful, and I thank you for that.

I’m so happy for you Anon 💚💚

It’s good to see these patterns, and depending on how toxic the relationship is, to speak up for yourself, or cut the person out, if they are unwilling to change.

Kindness is often a tool used by manipulators. But the biggest thing to ask yourself is exactly what you saw. Is this person only nice to me when they need something from me? And if so, then this isn’t real kindness. Good for you for knowing your worth!!

⚠️

sa related ask and discussions of very toxic relationships…

Personal experience rambling below. Toxic friendship and sa mention.

I’ll only be discussing this once, here, in this post. So I’m afraid if I get anyone asking for further info, I’m not going to reply /lh

I’m very sorry for what you’ve gone through. I hope you can find what you need to heal. Everyone’s traumas are so different, so please if you can, and haven’t already, speak to a professional that will give you help catered to you.

But I do want to immediately answer your question and say, yes, I have healed, for the most part. It took a lot of work and self-reflection that I didn’t want to do, because it was scary. But when I finally talked to someone, and realized I needed to take action in order to heal, that was when the process started.

For years, I thought my only options were to suffer in silence, and that what happened to me was my own fault, because towards the end, I was consenting. But I didn’t understand how my mindset and self worth had become so twisted.

My person (let’s call him J) was one of my best friends growing up. But as he got older, and more interested in…mature things, he changed. J would only ever agree to hang out together unless I offered to give him something to make it worth his while. Eventually I started to think these acts were all I was good for, as that’s all that made him happy to be around me. Pretty soon, J didn’t even have to push the ideas onto me. He only had to act uninterested or busy, and I would sit there and beg to do whatever he wanted.

The idea of rejection grew to be so painful and terrifying as he was one of only two friends that I had (the other being his sister. So if I lost one, I was so scared to lose the other). And I’d recently lost one of my closest childhood friends. Which he often used her cutting contact with us in his manipulations as well.

(It wasn’t until years later that she contacted me through Facebook and revealed that it was J that made her feel too uncomfortable, and as she already lived two hours away from us, and only visited once a year, it was just easier for her to cut off contact. I don’t blame her now, but without that knowledge, the thought that it was something I did, only helped J manipulate me.)

As I grew older, and I got better friends, I started to learn just how much I’d been pushed into only ever doing what he wanted, and how one sided of a relationship it was. He moved away, and that distance I was so scared of became a reality. But it was the best thing to ever happen. I still wonder what would’ve happened if he’d stayed in town. If we might’ve gotten married or if I would’ve finally stood up for myself. But all that matters is he is gone. There is always the danger of him coming home and me seeing him—we were neighbors, so his parents and mine still live right next door. Holidays can be kind of a high stress time lol.

That cafe comic is actually probably the most therapeutic piece out of the whole Kendratello AU I’ve done, as it’s always been a fear of mine that I could just turn around and he’d be in town visiting lol. Sending Kendra through that portal was highly cathartic. But even if that were to happen now, I have my coping skills, and I’m in a much better headspace. I think I would be able to handle myself.

I’m still a people pleaser, I don’t think that’s ever going to go away, even with all the work I’ve done. The biggest thing is, I know I’m worth more now. I can see real kindness, and catch the fake stuff much better by looking for those same toxic signs. The real friendships I’ve made have shown me what connection is truly like. It’s not a one-sided negotiation every time you get together. And if it is, then it’s probably not a healthy give and take. I’ve healed, but it is a constant effort.

Every new person sets off some kind of anxiety in the back of my head, but I don’t let that fear control how our relationship will develop. I’ve got the final say in what happens and what I get out of it.

[sl8yter]

Get It Together - Mühl

Pt 1.

Nikas bestfriend Nahiem is “going through a hard time” and Nika is always there for him. Which causes a lack of presence for her gf.

TW - Angst, mentions of cheating, insecurity, nika being a meanie, and lots of audacity

Im in the mood for angst so sorry yall

Nika Muhl x fem reader

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Nika.”

….

“Baby hello?”

…

“Nika”

“Huh oh sorry bebo I was texting Nahiem” Nika replies to my endless please in an exasperated tone looking at me standing in the kitchen as I prepare our plates

Dont start and argument please Niks

“Didn’t you guys just hang out last week? You said this week it’d be about us.” I walk towards Nika setting her plate on the table in front of me

“Hes my best friend and hes going through a hard time right now. I cant just ignore him.” She says finally taking her eyes off her phone to look at me

“Yea I know and I understand that but sometimes it feels like you care about him more than you do me.”

“Well I didn’t mean to make you feel that way and im sorry you do”

I sit down frustrated at her statement slightly banging the plate against the table

“Jesus christ, please dont be like that tonight” Nika says playing with her food

“Youre right, Im sorry its just that I love you you know that I do and I wish to spend time with you but its hard to do that when your friend is dragging you off everywhere. It makes me feel ignored.”

Why am I apologizing shes the one with the attitude

“Well Im sorry you feel that way bebo im not trying to ignore you. I want to spend time with you too. But Nahiem needs me too. We’ve been friends forever you know that” Nika says staring at me with a look in her eyes. The same look she gives me whenever she just wants me to agree with her

“I need you too Nika its not fair youve guys have been hanging out too much. I mean imagine if I went to go hang out with one my guy friends every other day.”

“What the fuck are you trying to imply here” Nikas tone changes. Her syllables grow sharper and her accent comes out

Shes mad

She stares at me waiting for my reply as im silent for a moment

“Im not trying to imply anything. I just want you to understand how it looks from my perspective. Which now you clearly do. I dont think you would do that to me but I cant help but wonder sometimes. Youre always texting him and barely even texting me anymore.”

“Im not cheating on you if thats what youre trying to imply. I lost my appetite, im gonna head out.” She adds with quickness, standing up from her chair and grabbing her keys off the counter

“No you always do this. Whenever things dont go your way or I dont immediately agree with you you leave I want to talk more. I want you to understand me more.” I say chasing after her pulling her arm to make her look at me

“Well I try and you make it so difficult”

“You try? You’re kidding me. I barely see you anymore. I wake up and youre gone. I tell you I want to talk its always im busy or later im out with friends. Im trying it feels like im the only one trying anymore.”

“I try so hard you just dont see it.” She grabs my hand and squeezes it giving me a sorrowful face.

That isnt what she looks like when shes sad

“What dont I see Nika please explain to me” I ask knowing shes full of it. She just wants someone to come home to

…

Her silence makes me snap. I let go of her hand

“Im actually so tired of your bullshit. Im gonna be frank with you since you arent gonna comprehend it any other way. I love you Nika I want to work on our relationship but you have to want that too. At this point ive debated leaving and ive also debated staying in case the sweet girl I knew a year ago wanted to show up again. I think we need couples counsel-”

Im cut off by her grabbing the sides of my face and attempting to kiss me. I retract quickly and try to ask her why she did that but she cuts me off before Ieven start

“Why are you being so difficult right now.” She says giving me a look of disgust. As if a kiss or angry fuck was gonna fix this

“Fuck off Nika. You can leave. Im not the one being difficult. I really dont want to lose you but if youre gonna keep being such a dickhead to me you cant leave. Ive had enough. I try so hard to understand you and I want you to let me im but obviously that isnt gonna happen. I love you but its obvious its not reciprocal.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Leave. Get your self together then you can come back to me. Its gonna be hard to put whatever emotions you have or had for me into words but when you do and you can explain to me why you wanted to throw all this away for me for some guy who probably wants to hit and dip.” I say in the calmest voice possible holding back from yelling at her. If i yell im gonna cry and if I cry Nikas gonna hug me, then ill fold.

I cant give in this time

“Wait bebo im sorry okay I can see how much this hurts you. Lets talk this out I can stop talking to nahiem. I swear he doesnt mean anything to me. I love you let me prove it.” She says, her long and built arms trying to snake around me

“No Nika , I already tried to talk this out. Go back to your dorm, take a shower, and go to sleep. Then we can talk all you want. I need to be alone tonight” I say pushing myself off her as I walk away heading to my room

“Im sorry baby please don’t do this” She says still standing at the door

At least she respects my space

But she doesn’t respect me

“Go to bed Nika” I say before shutting my door

I hear a soft cry before the muffled sound of the door shutting and locking

I hope she does wanna talk in the morning

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Also i dont proofread my writing. I write based off what my angelic soul is telling me so if you see some mistakes or some blank spaces 🦍🦍🦍

[khakirnelm]

From an incorrect quote generator

If Melody was a human tho

Phoebe: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE Melody: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially Phoebe, desperately, as Melody bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE Melody: Oh! B positive. Phoebe: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE Melody:

-

Phoebe: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming Melody: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak

-

Phoebe: Whaddya call a fish with no eye? Melody, not looking up: Myxine Circifrons Phoebe: Phoebe: fsh

-

Phoebe: So what's for dinner? Melody, staring at the food she just burnt: Regret.

-

Callie: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone. Phoebe: Mine just says "Phoebe no." Callie: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

-

Trevor: Not elegant enough to be a vampire, not jock enough to be a werewolf... Phoebe: Goblin it is.

-

Trevor: My head hurts. Phoebe: That’s your brain trying to comprehend its own stupidity.

-

Computer: Please enter a password. Phoebe: *types in Melody* Computer: Your password is too weak. Phoebe: How fucking DARE YOU-

-

Phoebe: So what are your political beliefs? Podcast: Well, I think Pikachu would be a lot more powerful if he had a gun.

-

Callie: You spent all our money on THIS?? Gary, putting tiny raincoats on ducklings: They live outside. They need this.

-

Phoebe: Why are you on fire? Melody: This is just how my day is going.

-

Podcast: Change is inedible.

Phoebe: Don't you mean inevitable?

Podcast, spitting out coins: No, I did not.

-

Phoebe: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.--

[translation: I’M SORRY]

Callie: What's that?

Phoebe: Remorse code.

Callie: I'm even angrier now.

-

Phoebe: I don’t do relationships.

Melody: *exists*

Phoebe: Shit.

-

Trevor: Kissing can burn 26 calories in a minute, wanna work-out with me? ;)

Lucky: Are you saying that I'm fat?

Trevor: No that's not what I meant I-

-

Phoebe: Podcast... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?

Podcast: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.

Phoebe:

Phoebe: I wrote sanitize, Podcast.

-

Callie, tending to Trevor’s wounds: How would you rate your pain?

Trevor: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

-

Peck: I'm going to ask you to be respectful. Phoebe: I will politely decline.

-

Podcast: I’m having one of those things! A headache with pictures!! Phoebe: you mean an idea..? Podcast: MMMMHHMMM!!

-

Phoebe: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though. Trevor: You need to stop.

-

Phoebe: How did none of you hear what I just said? Callie: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours. Gary: I got distracted about halfway through. Trevor: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

-

If Melody was a human, again

Phoebe: HELP! I TOLD MELODY I’D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN’T COOK! Trevor, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

-

Podcast: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time? Phoebe: The car takes a screenshot. Trevor: For the last time, get the fuck out.

-

Gary, holding a python: Guys I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him Callie: You did WHAT– Phoebe: William Snakepeare

-

Trevor: You look nice, I want to kiss you. Lucky: What? Trevor: I SAID IF YOU DIED, I WOULDN’T MISS YOU.

-

Gary: The best revenge, really, is being nice! Podcast: [in the distance] Or murder.

-

Gary: That’s one of my biggest fears. Like, if I ever woke up as a donut... Callie: You would eat yourself? Gary: I wouldn’t even question it.

-

Phoebe: WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO- Melody: It was me... Phoebe: ...Is going to be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance.

[yamamasjumpercables]

Not Our Time

Cheater!Chris!Sturniolo x Fem!Reader

Warning: Wrist grabbing, cussing and that’s it

a/n: this took a while, hope you guys enjoy it

You were tired of it. The lying, sneaking, yelling, arguing. Everything. You found out Chris has been cheating on you 2 weeks ago. You loved Chris so much that you tried your best to see it through, pretending that it wasn’t true. Last week after you found out You went to confront Chris about the whole situation but, he kept brushing it off. Telling you that it was before you guys knew each other and there was nothing to worry about. You knew better than to trust what he said. Chris knew he couldn’t have his cake and eat it too, but he never felt the need to quit his ways.

Right now You and Chris were currently in his room trying to figure out what went wrong in the relationship. Chris’s phone was in your hand, the messages between Chris and some girl displayed on the screen. Tears were threatening to roll down your face, but you needed to be stern to get through to Chris. “Y/n it’s not what you think” Chris said running his fingers through his hair. “Then what the fuck is it Chris, cause it looks like you cheating on me” You said putting your hands up in defense. “I’m not cheating on you that was a long time ago you are just being delusional” Chris says annoyed. “CHRIS DONT FUCKING LIE TO ME, THIS WAS 10 FUCKING MINUTES AGO ” You say yelling. “YOU ARE DOING TO FUCKING MUCH SHES JUST A FRIEND” Chris says yelling back. “Oh she’s just a friend, I didn’t know friends sends nudes to each other” You said sarcastically. “YOU ARE FUCKING CRAZY Y/N” Chris says yelling at you. “IM CRAZY, YO BITCH ASS CHEATING ON ME WITH A REJECTED VICTORIA SECRET MODEL AND IM CRAZY” You say yelling while getting in Chris’s face. “First of all watch your tone with me, I’m not one of your delusional ass friends who you can talk to like that” Chris says grabbing your wrist. “You are a fucking joke Chris�� You say yanking your wrist back from his grip. “So what now you’re gonna break up with me” Chris says crossing his arms. “Yes exactly what I’m gonna do” You say laughing a little. “Wait wait you can’t be seriously willing to end this relationship over this” Chris scoffs getting worried. “Well no it’s not just that, you treat me like shit and act like I don’t mean anything to you so why stay” You say passionately. “Baby, don’t leave me I’ll change” Chris says walking towards you grabbing your hand. “That’s what they all say Chris” You scoff. “I mean it I won’t do it again, I’ll cut everyone off, I’ll treat you better, I’ll give you anything you want, I’ll give you more attention just don’t leave me Y/n” Chris says, voice breaking. “Chris I will always love you, but I can’t sit here and let you treat me like this anymore” You say, a tear rolling down your face. “I can do better I can change for you, I just need time” Chris says putting your hand to his face for your to hold. “I can’t sit and wait for you to be a better person Chris that’s something you have to do on your own, we were right for each other once hopefully we can be right for each other again someday, but it’s just not our time” You say crying. “Y/n please give me another chance” Chris says grabbing your waist pulling you closer to him. “I can’t Chris we have to be apart for a while, until you learn how to respect Me and Yourself” You say rubbing Chris’s face with the pad of your thumb. “I love you Y/n” Chris says as his voice breaks. “I love you too” You say before giving Chris a long passionate kiss. “See you around Chris” You say giving him a final kiss on the cheek and walking out of his room, on your way to start a new life without him. Leaving Chris with his regrets

I haven’t posted anything in a while plus I want to start posting more Chris fics 🧎🏾‍♀️

[alexlikesairconditioninh]

Geo x reader

Regarding SOL

You became friends with the group after crowe brought you in, at first you and geo didn't have anything going on, but somehow, he developed feelings— and it seems like he isnt the only one.

NOT PROOFREAD (this is under the assumption that geo knows about hyugos crimes)

The first meeting;

Geo wanted to get close to you, but he honestly struggled. So he opted for just being by your side and helping you out. He heard of solivan brugmansia all too well, afterall the rumors regarding him are very well known to those that heard of him.

But, did he care? No, not really. A rumor about some random student he didn’t interact with didn’t matter to him, besides, people spread false rummors around constantly. He wasn't intrested in finding out the truth behind the rummors. Until, he had realized you acquainted yourself with him.

It was after class, you and your friends were out in the hallway pondering where to hang out. Before you spot hyugo and sol. Youre unsure wether to not to bother them as they seem deep in conversation. However it seems hyugo could feel your eyes on him. His eyes locked with yours, and you take that as an opportunity to wave at him. Thus, he waves at you in return. Sol notices and his demeanor changes, a smile tugs on his lips and he gives you a dreamy look. A blush faintly noticeable on his face.

Geo looks away at his phone to seek out the subject of your attention— hes surprised, and certainly not pleased.

His brother.

Were you friends his brother? Out of all people, hyugo? And that guy— why is he looking at you like that? You dont seem to have any special feelings towards him, youre waving to him like you would anyone else. That begs the question, what are you to him?

He goes in your direction to get your attention. he taps you on the shoulder, and just like how its supposed to be, your attention is on him now.

"Huh?" you asked, curious as to why he uncharacteristically sought your attention. While you didn't know much about geo, there was this weird feeling emanating from him.

He takes a quick glance at his brother and that black-haired boy with him, and hes surprised to see the tall male with a deathly glare in his eyes, targeted at him— and also his friends. His eyes were ugly, blood red. Is that why hyugo befriended him? Because blood is somthing hes used to, right? Whatever it was, he immediately took a disliking to that man.

"brit wanted your input". He focused his attention back to you.

"O-oh yeah! How about the garden? I have a key for there." Geo gave a pleased look.

"Lets go tell her then". And with that the two of you turn your backs to sol and hyugo, heading closer to the group. Geo takes one last good look at the two boys. Unfortunately for him, he accidentally makes eye contact with his brother.

"OH MY GOD" Hyugo moves towards you and geo.

"SUBARU" eyes littered with excitement hyugo approaches him

"Shit..." geo begrudgingly accepts his fate.

—————

It seemed Britney, jess and deryl were the most amused at the scene hyugo had caused. They were pestering geo while hyugo took that as an opportunity, as sol's wingman.

"Oh- sunny and I were wondering if you wanted to hang out wit-"

"[name], cmon, Britney's waiting" geo interrupts

"Oh yeah!- uh" you look back to hyugo, and sol, eagerly awaiting your answer, hoping you leave that purple haired prick and spend time with him instead. "Sorry, im hanging out with geo and our friends, uhm, ill talk to you guys later!". You frown, and wave bye to them as you head for your friends.

Later, in the garden, you sit next to geo. Curious of his relationship with hyugo, after all they are brothers and you’re friends with them both! isn’t that nice?

“You’re hyugos brother? what’s he lik-“

“He’s not my brother, forget what he said in the hallway, I don’t want to associate myself with him.” He interrupts, shooting you a glare before his gaze softens. “He’s…” he pauses, recollecting his thoughts. “He’s just dangerous to be around.”

“How?” he looks away as you ask.

“Things you don’t know, he gets into shady shit” he redirects his gaze back to yours, “[name], for your own sake, and safety, don’t get involved with him… or his friend.”

“Solivan?” You question at the mention of sol

“Brugmansia?” If his memory is serving him right, then he’s not good news.

“Yeah that’s his-“

“Especially him, both of them, stay away from them.” He thinks back to the hallway and the look in sol’s eyes. One of putrid hate and murder. Maybe, those rumors were true”

“That’s hard to do, I’m in a class with them— although hyugo never attends, and I’m sols partner for an art project.”

“Then don’t make conversation with him, only do what needs to be done for the art project, once it’s done, never talk to him again— or hyugo” he instructs you, for now at least. He’s thinking about what strings he could pull to change your art class for a different period, one without sol or hyugo. If he had to play dirty to keep you, and his friends safe, he’d play dirty as hell.

“Okay.”

I don’t wanna go too deep because I wanna wait for days 3&4 for more lore and info, so I’ll probably wait and do other stuff

[i-yap]

I have a Dick Grayson request!

I don't know if you do vigilante s/o but I was wondering if you did could you write how he would react when he finds out that the crazy person jumping off buildings with his alter ego is also his gn s/o? I always find the different takes on the reader finding out about Nightwing but I really want to know what you think his reaction would be?Anyways, this might not be something you'll write but I just figured I'd ask

Lots of love and admiration for you and your works

❤️

A compliment and a Dick grayson ask??omg made my day ( I promise he isn't my favorite I love them all equally)

Ive never really written vigilante reader..or even imagined one but I can try

Dick Grayson x vigilante!s/o

s/n- supername

"There's an armed robbery at the children's hospital on 34th" reported Tim onto the batcom.

"I can get there in 5" replied Dick.

"Take hood with you, he's on 39th " Ordered Batman

"I don't need a babysitter..especially not hood"

"HAHA, Ill be there as soon as I'm done beating up this creep who was cornering pretty girls" Jason says cheekily.

"wait ..I dont think i need you here hood, or even I'm needed..S/n got here first. She's tying up the perps as we speak"

"Unmask her Nightwing, even I couldnt figure out her identity and she has been spotted in too many crimes around gotham" said Oracle

"You can't passible think THE s/n is a criminal" tim replied shocked

"Haha timmy has a thing for s/n just cause she was caught buying rock shirts from the shady stores he loves" Jason teases

" NO REAL NAMES ON THE COMS JASON, also Oracle is right. Best to be precautionary" states Batman.

Nightwing approaches s/n. "OH JEEZ, hi your scared me haha. Not that you're scary. You're really hot , I mean your partner probably finds you hot but not me. I'm just random vigilante...Uh anyways Ive called the police they're on their way so I think my work here is done!" You say hurriedly after spotting your boyf-nightwing approaching you.

"Well good work here s/n. But I actually had to speak to you alone. " "Me? why??"

"I need you to unmask yourself. Batman's orders . You cant trust me, you know I'm one of the good guys and we have been on multiple cases together. Plus you are kind of in my city"

" Well I- dick listen." "How do you -" You take off your mask to reveal yourself.

"I was about to tell you dickie..please don't be mad" "MAD? ME? MY SWEETHEART IS A CRIME FIGHTING ASS KICKING SUPERHERO! I KNEW YOU WERE TOO STRONG TO BE A BARISTA!. I mean I do wish you told me before" "I just didn't know how you would take it. You always talked about how much you loved our domestic intimacy and simplicity in our relationship and i-" Dick takes your hands in his "We can still have that baby, just because you are a superhero doesn't change anything. Youre still the best thing that ever happened to me and now we can even spend more time together as our alter ego. We would be a great power couple!" Says dick, pulling you into a passionate kiss.

"EW EW THE ROMANTIC SPEECH WAS GROSS BUT KISSING NOISES?" Yells jason into the coms

" NO DICK HOW COULD YOU, MY SUPERCRUSH MAN" Cries out tim

"shit i forgot to turn off my comms" whines dick

"NO REAL NAMES ON THE COMS !" Orders Bataman

"Bring her to the manor once you have discussed the - the revelation. There is much to talk about" Says Batman.

"I'm Surprised Y/n is even real" Joins in Damian.

"WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT HAVING A PARTNER" yells Nightwing into the comms while you try to muffle your laugh.

"Well, I am no one to comment on your mental state NightWing, But it is questionable"

You pull away Dick from the comms before they all start bickering- and giving bruce a headache. Sure there was a lot to discuss but dick is the best batboy to be a vigilante partner to. He would be understanding and non restrictive and the perfect partner in fight. Communication is easy with him and he trusts you and gives you your space to be yourself. After all, its all these things that make him love you for you.

sorry if there is anything offensive i don't usually write gn!reader cuz I'm a cis female and I don't proof read. Also english is not my first language. Lmk if there's anything offensive and ill change it.

[cvlutos]

“I like to Write”

| Repost: 02.18.23 | 1.1 K | Rated PG |

Malleus D., Rook H., Idia S., Azul A. X GN!Writer!Reader

| Characters18+ | Headcannons | Super Sweet | Suggestive w/ Idia | Fluff | Platonic/Romantic Relationships | Proceed with Caution, Beloved. |

T.Manor.Requests: For the Lovely @sidra-29 Thank you for the request!!

I was WAITING FOR THIS-

Ahem… Can I request Malleus, Rook, Idia and Azul with a Gn!Reader who writes stuff. Like books and all on the internet and sometimes they even write some special things for our boys

Take your time and stay healthy dear !

♡ Malleus Draconia ♡

Malleus Draconia is a lot of things, and one of them is being super supportive.

♡♡ Whether you’re his partner or simply his friend, he is guaranteed to be your biggest fan. Even if all you write is dribbles or short little things, nonetheless he’s reading. If you write fanfic, he will take it very seriously and be highly entertained by it. If it makes you happy, it makes him happier. If you want tips or constructive criticism, he’ll give it. If you just want his genuine reaction, he’ll do that as well.

♡♡ He keeps all of your work. Even if you hate it, he keeps it and stores it away, so that later you’ll see your progress, he’s super encouraging and won’t ever call your work badly, but he might allude to something not being your best piece, but he doesn’t fault for it. Anything your write for him, he wont stop talking about it. Like will casually bring it up, and if you dont write something for anyone else, he is so smug.

♡♡ He also likes to stand over you when you write. Sometimes he’s doing his own thing while you type. But when you write with pen and paper, he likes to stand over you. Silently watching your hand move back and forth. He likes your handwriting and likes seeing how you write. How your ‘a’s curl and how you dot your ‘i’s. For some odd reason, he enjoys it, and no matter how messy it is, he can read it well. [100% guarantee Lilia’s handwriting half the time is horrendous and unreadable.]

“Whatever you write, it is an absolute pleasure for me to read. Always.”

══════ ♡ ══════

♡ Rook Hunt ♡

Rook is somewhat of a writer himself, though he only sticks to poetry. Though finds beauty in longer length stories.

♡♡ If you write, he’s considering this a time for you and him to get snacks and read each other’s pieces. Aloud or silently, though over time, it changes into Rook wanting to act out scenes with you. Scenes with the slightest hint of romance. Whether you’re romantic or platonic, he’s going to want to act out scenes. He does love a good tragedy. But Rook is also super supportive and loves sharing your story ideas. If your write fanfic, Rook likes it too. A little too much to the point he’s subconsciously shipping people. He finds it so much fun, he won’t play matchmaker, but he loves watching it unfold naturally.

♡♡ Just like Malleus, he’s keeping all your writings. Each and every single one, half of which you aren’t sure how he found or got, but he has them. Heavily protected. But let you write him something specifically for him. He’s reading it every day, before bed, when he wakes up. He won’t tell anyone about it, but Vil knows, cause he accidentally mentioned it.

♡♡ Rook, also like Malleus, likes your handwriting. But oddly enough, has it memorized and if he wanted to, he could easily replicate it. Wouldn’t, but if he wanted to impersonate you, he could. Casually mentions it all the time. If you have a blog or any socials, he’s always in your comments sections acting up. Writing full poems and paragraphs.

“Oh ! Ça doit être la meilleure histoire écrite à ce jour~ Je dois en lire plus !”

══════ ♡ ══════

♡ Idia Shroud ♡

You and Him fanfic when?

♡♡ He’d never ask. He would rather let his HP drop to zero and face the final boss with low-grade weapons. In fact, Idia would never talk about you writing, and would simply leave you be. Not out of not caring but more out of fear that if he tries to talk about it, he’ll seem like some normie who knows not a damn thing.

♡♡ Idia had read fanfiction, that’s it. Has tabs saved, so if you do “official writing”, he’s going to be unsure of what to do. If you write fanfic though and post online, he’s sending in anonymous requests, anonymous commissions of his favorite characters. If you write for a fandom he doesn’t know, he’ll binge it.

♡♡ If you write anything for him, he’s done for. K.Oed. Zero Health, and he lost all his EXP. He’s at the beginner level and has to mass farm everything back before he can even read it. He’ll thank you, but won’t touch it for days before he forces himself too while screeching. If it’s cute and sweet, he’s a mess, snot bubbles and tears. If it is remotely sexual—well—he might need a new copy. Though unlike the first two, he doesn’t really care for you handwriting, it’s yours, but he likes to see you type, especially if you type hella fast.

“—YOU WHAT—I mean… Thank you for the… For the… Mm—Thank you for the story….”

══════ ♡ ══════

♡ Azul Ashengrotto ♡

*Cue him thinking of ways to make money with your writing*

♡♡ He views it as an admirable talent. Azul only writes essays, reports, documents. And a lot of contracts, so idle writing really isn’t his thing. He’s tried, but most of it comes out messy, so he sticks to reading. So if you write, he’s requesting something to pass the time. He also enjoys it when someone, especially your friends, asks what he’s reading. He will brag and be like “[Name]’s work. Oh, you haven’t read any.. Well then…” He’s an instigator.

♡♡ He will definitely mention your writing to his mother, especially if it was a gift from you for him about him. He’s rambling to his mom about how talented you are. He refuses to tell the twins about it, but they undeniably know and tease him about it. Any chance they get, they’ll use it as ammunition. But it won’t be just Azul, but you, too. I mean, you wrote it for their dormleader. You must love him~

♡♡ Other than that, Azul won’t interfere. If you want to share and write in his presence, you can. If you want to tell him your ideas and plans, hell gladly listen. Hell gives critics on overused ideas, views him as your personal editor. He will host events in the Mostro Longue for you, to give you more exposure. [A third of the event was the twins giving out threats if they didn’t support you.]

“I mean, you are, uh, dear to me. So your success is mine of course I would and will provide all I can.”

ⓒ 2023 love-thanatopsis — all rights reserved. Any sort of plagiarizing, copying, modifying, translating, editing of my works are strictly prohibited.

[sevenrs]

been seeing interest crop up for a plural interpretation of grey wind/chasing wind, or making plural iterator ocs. this is great! as a system myself, i would like to offer some guiding questions and tips to non-systems to help out in their endeavors. please remember that i am one system and plurality varies VERY HEAVILY among people. other systems are free to comment and add their own tips. just dont turn this post into syscourse

i will use gw/cw as the most prevalent examples but this applies to any oc as well!

- alters are their own people in a lot of cases, not just "personalities". ask yourself, how does gw differ from cw? when presented with the same situation, how do each of them react? do they agree with each other or not? either way, what are their reasons?

- systems are rarely comprised of just two alters. it is not impossible, but very rare. most people notice plural symptoms at around 3 alters and people will on average have between 8-15 alters (but more is very much not unheard of!). think about how many alters gw/cw would have on top of each other

- alters may have different pronouns, sexuality, and ways they want to present themselves from each other. how do gw/cw and other alters differ from each other in this way, if at all?

- if gw/cw's physical body changes to represent who is fronting, was this an ability they had before realizing their plurality? in our world, we cannot change how we look outside of clothes and makeup. if gw/cw do not possess the ability to change physically, do either of them or any other alter feel uncomfortable or even dysphoric looking at their physical body?

- alters' relationships may vary heavily on the same person. how do gw/cw feel about a specific person? how are they the same or different? is one alter in a whole different kind of relationship with someone than another?

- how comfortable is gw/cw with telling others about their plurality? do only they know? their close friends? local group? anyone they come across? plurality is often personal, and is not a singular decision for any one alter in a system to make to tell others. it can be difficult for non-systems to understand what plurality is like (and in our world, cause mockery) so they may think it is easier to stay quiet about it

- plurality happens because of several different conditions. there is did, but there are also ospd-1a and 1b. i would highly recommend doing your own research on these different types of plurality. they each have different effects on memories, emotional state, even how defined the alters themselves. again, look into it

- if gw/cw have memory problems, do they have a way to get around it? private broadcasts? pearls? scratching on the walls? how do they talk to alters not co-concious with them?

- some systems may use role labels to identify themselves as having particular jobs to help/protect the system. these are roles such as host, caretaker, guardian, traumaholder, etc. do your research on this one. do any of these roles apply? or do gw/cw forgo these labels? (personally, we only use the term "host")

- headspace is a place in the mind where alters "live" (it's not a real residence, but it feels that way) headspace may be small, only representing co-conciousness, or very large, giving every alter a more "tangible" place to stay if not fronting. or headspace might not exist at all! (this is most common in systems who just found out about their plurality). what does headspace look like to them? keep in mind, headspace can really look like anything. for me at least, it looks mostly consistent. a few things may change about it or it may expand, but it's not like imagination where anything happens if you think about it

as a disclaimer i am not going to go in depth about trauma or sources in this post. it can get very personal very quickly. a general way i can put it is think of a long term source of stress and/or abuse that may be present in your iterator's life. handle the subject with care.

the best way to learn about the experiences of plurality is to ask people who are systems. as long as you are given consent, come in with genuine curiosity, and be as reasonable as you can, most systems will be okay with questions! it is like any other identity

a side: other ways to make plural iterators?

iterators do not share human anatomy or physiology. they will never perfectly be able to represent plurality like we have it in our world

but the unique characteristics of iterators can lend way into creative ideas that are similar to plurality! (but never, i want to stress, NEVER the same)

notably, several puppets in one can. if you remember that the body of the iterator is the structure, and the puppets are like the face, then you have several faces, personalities, people, in one body. my immunerators play around with this idea and i am sure there are other ways to get creative!

[quirkthieves]

You say not a hill worth dying on but maybe you should post receipts on people on your DNI. To protect others from them.

weird how similar this is to the shit i got in May. starting to have my suspicions but i wont say nothing cuz i dont say nothing without backing it up

Anyways, I'll repeat myself again, in the clearest language possible, avoiding sarcasm or insults, so that we can all be on the same page. Sound good?

A DNI is not a callout. It's simply not. A callout is (and I will be speaking from what it "should" be, since I'm aware this is often not how it is carried out in real life) a post/other publicly curated list of grievances, ideally with evidence and analysis of that evidence and the context of that evidence that proves the point attempting to be made. A callout should be made for the sake of public interest, whether that be because of the subject matter, number of people involved, continued duration of behavior, et cetera. Callouts used for petty personal business are what I like to call "this could have been a dm", and I'm not interested in them. I'm not perfect. I'll admit, in the past, especially when I was 15-16, I was involved with people who went out of their way to take things in bad faith, but I do make an effort to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and exercise discretion in conflict.

A DNI is exactly what the acronym stands for: a "Do Not Interact". People have plenty of reasons to not want interact with someone. Sure, lots of people have been put on DNIs because of callouts, but it's putting the cart before the horse to try and flip the cause and effect, or to ignore the other reasons (like, for example, personal falling outs that had a lot of feelings involved, but aren't malicious or big enough to be a matter of public interest) that people may be put on one. I've seen "DNI if your name is [xyz]" because of someone's personal boundaries. I can respect that, and I don't need them to justify anything to me.

Now, when it comes to my DNI, I will say this: I have people on there that did heinous shit, and I have people there that are matters of personal falling-outs. I have been very diligent in emphasizing that them being on the same list is NOT me conflating our conflicts as all being on the same level. I expect people to give me the same good faith I give them: an understanding that these things have nuance and that if they want a clearer picture they are free to ask. I've even had people message me in the past like "hey, is it okay if I interact, I'm [nuanced reasoning here]" and I both appreciate the honesty and am willing to work with people because things are complicated.

And that means I have a couple reasons for not "adding receipts".

In the case of individuals like Myers, the content in question is incredibly graphic. And there's a lot of it. I don't want to expose people to 100+ pages of violently upsetting material when they're just trying to read my blog rules. It's not the appropriate time or place to do so. Furthermore, the Myers situation was incredibly public. Keeping it taped up on my door would just drag out bad memories for everyone.

Similarly to above, for Myers and certain other individuals, those situations involved something traumatic happening to me as part of that situation. I've said before that I'm a fairly private person when it comes to things like that, and I don't owe anyone the performance of my suffering when I have no control over who can view it.

For situations that weren't insanely traumatic, I don't think receipts are necessary. I've said before-- I don't believe in meddling in people's relationships. Telling, hypothetically, "everyone" about the personal arguments I had with someone feels like going out of my way to point and be like "see? aren't they a bitch!!!" when it's really not necessary. I know that there may also be context or changes behind the scenes I've not been aware of because I don't speak to them. I think our respective mutuals can be trusted to make a reasonable, educated decision about the friend circles they want to curate, and I entirely understand that people have the right to "choose" the other person over me. I'm happy that people can have close friendships! Yes, a lot of those had to do with issues I had as a matter of MORALS, but I'm not all-seeing and all-knowing. Just because I took issues with someone because of my strongly held beliefs does not mean I think of them as a danger to other people. One has to practice discretion.

A DNI is simply about signalling that for whatever reason, people who meet certain criteria aren't going to find your personal space as a welcoming one. Clearly, in this latest situation, Ire thought that me being friendly and trying to engage for the sake of not excluding them in the server was weird and crossing a line-- so I don't know why me saying that I don't want their close friends in my friend circle is so offensive. We don't get along, I don't know why they would want their friends to be particularly close to me either. And that's their right! I'm not mad or offended if anyone decides they would be uncomfortable being around someone they don't get along with and don't like for whatever reason, and I'm not mad at people who see that and decide that they value their relationship with the other person over the one they have with me. Does it hurt my feelings sometimes? Sure, yeah. I'm a person too. Do I not understand it sometimes? Absolutely. But they are allowed to do that, and I won't begrudge them for it. If they don't like me, I don't... want them to be in my space, either? Having "more friends" isn't worth it if they're miserable being around me. I'd rather they just be upfront and say they do not want to continue our friendship.

Just because a person was bad to me or a bad fit FOR me does not mean they will not or are incapable of having healthy, positive, productive relationships with other people. I want to respect those and I'm happy for them. I just don't want it in my personal space, and when we do end up in a mutual space, I'm willing to be cordial for the sake of not jeopardizing the relationships they have with our mutual acquaintances. That does not mean I want to be friends. I just do not want to be cruel and drag personal mess. If I thought they were dangerous to that mutual friend, I'd say something in private, but otherwise, I'm willing to remove myself first (especially if they have seniority!)

I'm frustrated that I keep having to say this over and over again. And I'm frustrated that my attempts to stick by what I believe in is constantly skewed and seen in the worst faith possible, and that no matter the effort, people are always going to see me as a "nosy-ass tweaker" who "ruined the rpc" or an "attack dog" or any other of names I've been called over the years, just because I can be abrasive or sarcastic or hyperbolic. I'm willing to admit that I don't always do myself favors with how my tone comes across in text, and I'm starting to realize that sometimes anger is the only language I know how to express myself with, and I don't like showing my belly to people, especially publicly. But I have feelings too, you know? I get sad, or anxious, or tired, or any other number of things. And it makes me sad to put in so much effort trying to keep my blows from getting too low even with someone I don't like and not even have those efforts acknowledged or reciprocated.

I defended someone on my DNI in may (alex). Just because I have issues with someone, even if they're serious, does not mean I'm going to act negligently and publish or spread serious accusations that I have no evidence or context for, and I'll tell other people to do the same. I even reached out to let them know those things were being said, because I feel that when it's that serious, they have a right to know so they don't get blindsided by rumors. If someone came into my askbox saying Ire murdered puppies, I'd do the same. I've done it before with other people, I'll continue to do it, but it would be nice to have someone acknowledge that sometimes.

Anyway, my answer to that question is : nah. dun feel like it

[tarasmithshifts]

𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐔𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐃𝐑: 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐃 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐅𝐓 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 2

𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐑. 2 years😭 𝐀𝐆𝐄. 16-17 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐏: sirius, remus, james, lily, peter, dorcas, marlene, mainly people from gryffindor and ravenclaw

𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒. single (5th to the end of 5th year) TAKEN BAHSDHABHAHDB (summer after 5th year - ongoing)

「 ✦ 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓼 ✦ 」

helloooooooooooooooooooo welcome back (i started like a freaking youtuber LOL) part 1 was emmm, it was a rollercoaster. A BIG ONE

— ୨୧₊˚ click here to read part 1 :)

im super super super excited for this part 'cause finally something cute is happening, literally those things that happened in part 1... WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT IT. WE WENT THROUGH IT, AND WE ARE BACK. part 2. let's do it

「 ✦ 6th year ✦ 」

𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓮 - 6𝓽𝓱 𝔂𝓮𝓪𝓻

summer 1976 - I left grimmuald place 12 and ran away to remus. sirius did the same some weeks before me, and we were both burn out of the "Black Family Tree"

July/August - James Potter and Lily are named Head Boy and Head Girl.

October/November - Lily finally agreeded and started to go out with James for some dates

this are basics from og timeline because i don't want to spoil anything

ＳＵＭ ＭＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ a little reminder about what happened in last part - me and remus got together, and basically we are girlfriend and boyfriend, we spent time with each other more, trying to get ourselves more into this change yk 🥹

OKAY ANYWAY

after last day of school me and remus promised ourselves that we will write to each other as much as possible. boys did not know about ‘us’ because we didn’t know if this whole relationship will work 😭 so it was our little secret, but not for long tho

in july, when me and sirius were back at grimmuald place, sirius got himself into a HUGE fight with our father, and said to me “idk what you gonna do, but i will not stay here any longer”. he did not tell me where would he go, some days after this fight he left in a middle of the night. he just left me a note to do the same, and that in some weeks he will let me know where he is. i kept that ‘letter’ to myself.

when i tell you that walburga was PISSED. P I S S E D . as well as our father. they would fight over it, and finally, when it was clear that sirius is not coming back, they burned sirius face out of this family tree.

ar least they are proud of regulus 👍 good job mate. you will die. soon. like girllllll

especially that i’m super attached to him. he is my little brother and i knooooow that when i will shift again his death is gonna hit me like a train, BUT WE DONT TALK ABOUT THIS RN LETS GET BACK

when sirius left walburga was super suspicious about me and always was looking at me, controlled everything etc. i knew that if she would find out about remus, she would probably punish me for it or smth, so i sent last letter to remus that he should not write to me because my parents went WILD over this whole situation.

in august i felt empty??? i could not get any letters from remus, i missed him, i missed sirius. he did not sent me any letter after he left, but i knew that it’s probably because he knew what the hell is going on in the house rn. also, regulus started to ignore me, like walburga and orion did. annnnnnnndddddd that’s when i didn’t back off, and started shouting at him (reggie) and when walburga heard it, she wasn’t happy 💀💀 so she decided to fucking punish me, but this time i was like “hell no, fuck off” and the same night i left grimmuald place 12 behind me, in my past. i took everything i could with me, some clothes, books, and it was whole huge operation, because walburga and orion are those kind of people that when something moves behind some walls, they wake up. so what i did, was that i added sleep potion that i made in my room to their drinks that they were having before going to sleep. well, it worked HA.

but when i left this house, i was like “bombastic, but what am i going to do now 😭😭😭😭😭 i was literally without any house, i did not want to bother anybody, especially that it was 2am in the morning 💀 andromeda did not tell us where she lived so i had no idea where i should go, and the only person that i could think of then was remus. i knew where he lived, he wrote me his address in one of letters i got from him.

so i went there. by foot. call me crazy but i did that. i took some muggle bus and was on his street around 4am. i knew it was very early but i hoped that he will not be mad about it, or his father. they were living at the edge of london, it was quiet and lovely place to live. when i was looking round for his house, as there were only few of them, i looked up and i saw that it was full moon 😭 and i didn’t realise that before. so i was still looking for around like 25 minutes, and i finally found it. AND YOU SHOULD’VE SEEN MY FACE WHEN I SAW THAT LIGHT IN THE HOUSE WERE TURNED ON

LYALL LUPIN WAS AWAKE

THANK GOD

so i went to the door and knocked. i saw some movement in the window and was like “yuppp this man will think that i’m a freak. good job to me i guess” i waited a few minutes and he finally opened the door. i started apologising to him that i’m sorry that i’m here at 4 in the morning, that i know his son etc. then he fully opened the door and it wasn’t lyall lupin IT WAS REMUS 😭😭😭😭 i literally was so so so happy, i mean, he was shocked, i was shocked too because i thought that it was a full moon that night, i hugged him and he hugged me back IT WAS SO CUTE IM ABOUT TO CRY I WANNA GO BACK THERE SO BADLY

so we stayed in this position for some minutes and he finally made a step back, looked at me and said “what are you doing here?” so i started to tell him what happened few hours before, that sirius is somewhere god knows where, that he should write to me but i know why he didn’t, i was talking really fast and finally he was like “yo chill out, just come in and we will talk about it later, you need to sleep” (yup i’m living my y/n life LMAO) so basically he took my things upstairs and told me to sleep in his bedroom, and that he will figure out what to do later. so i went to sleep

— ୨୧₊˚ lupin’s house

it was like 11 am when i woke up, so i just went down the stairs to find remus, but he wasn’t there, so i just looked around and guess who i met in the kitchen 😭😭😭 lyall lupin ladies and gentlemen 😭😭😭 he was like “emmm you are tara right?” and i was like “yessss that’s me 💀” he was just walking around the kitchen, but he was nice to me tho. he said that remus went to james to tell him that i’m here. i was like “oh yup okay” so later i found out that sirius was living at james house the whole time 😭

so i wrote a letter to him telling him that i am at remus now, but i said that i don’t want to bother his family, so probably i will leave in a few days (i didn’t LMAO, remus stopped me) so that’s how i was living for next month, until school started. i got along with remus father, he is a nice guy, also he has good sense of humour, thank GOD 😭 idk finally i felt loved and as i was at my own home. thanks to the lupins 🫶

ＳＥＰＴＥＭＢＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ 1st day

lyall left few days before school started, he said that if i would need anything, he can buy me some things on street, but i was fine, as walburga buys everything that is needed already in june, so yup, i was stated for new school year 🫡

on a 1st day i finally saw sirius again, gosh i never thought that i would be happy only by seeing him in a crowd. remus told me what happened after sirius left grimmuald place 12, at least the part that he knew about. by this i also mean that he forgave him about what happened, so we were all good 🫶

on a train i found out that james and lily were chosen to become next head boy and head girl, which is the reason why they got onto each other.

sooooo me and remus relationship was still a secret, but i think that boys could feel the change between us, especially sirius, i mean it was kinda obvious 😭 we did not “hide” it, we just did not tell them 💀 there were signs, like sometimes remus put his arm around my back and hold me like this, or during the day when i tried to keep contact with him. basically only lily knew about me and remus. i told her right after everything happened in june, sooooo yup she knew since the very beginning.

whole September we were all excited to start new school year, but something started to feel different ??? but that was because of war.

but let’s concentrate on hogwarts rn 😭

so me and boys still took turns to stay with remus during full moons, remus wanted to complain about it because of what happened few months before, but he finally said yes.

ＯＣＴＯＢＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ boys find out about me and remus

soooo everything was fine at hogwarts, we were doing great, james and lily started to talk to each other, she would tell me about the conversations they had, but when i asked her “do you like him” she acted like she was angry and ignored the question or answered me with “don’t be ridiculous” soooo yk something was going on between them (finally) also sirius and remus told me that james is talking about her ALL THE TIME and that they are super tired of it. about peter,well, he was quiet as always 😭 so nothing changed.

me and remus were even more opened about our relationship, we were more confident about it? we were showing it ig 😭 and on one day in the middle of october, sirius, james and peter caught us in a common room and told us to sit down, their face went literally 🤨🤨🤨 and james started talking “okay what the HELL is going on here” so i looked at remus, remus looked at me, and i finally said “oh yeah we re together” and sirius went WILDDDD he literally looked at remus and went “THATS MY SISTER YOU MANIAC” and started chasing remus across the common room 😭 it was SO FUNNY 😭😭 after they were done (about 10 minutes later lmao💀) we just sat down in their dormitory and they were doing this police kind of thing where they are asking questions and shit 💀 pretty crazy but yup they knew since then

and because of that we could be more open about us and be ourselves bc of that. sirius was sometimes overdramatic about it but he got used to it i guess LMAO

also sirius got himself into detention 😭😭😭 AGAIN i’m super sick of this at some point 💀💀 he started to bully severus again, so i get it, but now lily did not react (he called mudblood as yk)

but james was a little bit out of business, because he wanted to impress lily, and you could see that. literally he was not helping sirius and peter with their pranks for a while, so he could convince lily to him, which was so cute ☹️

ＮＯＶＥＭＢＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ 17 birthdayyy

in the beginning of november me and sirius got letter from andromeda, that she heard about our escape from grimmuald place 12 and that she is super proud of us 😭😭😭 she asked if we have some place to stay and etc. to be honest, i didn’t think about it 💀 i didn’t want to bother remus but still i was too young to bus myself a house from money that i saved. sirius told me in the beginning of school year that he will stay at james during next summer, so he could later buy a house from money that he got from ⭐️

i just wrote back to andromeda that i’m okay, and i just did not think about it. it was not time for that too.

also, from weird things that happened in november is that on random day, when i was leaving great hall with remus after lunch, regulus wanted to talk to me??? like excuse you i guess? but yup he’s my little brother, i was worrying about him the whole time tbh 😭 so remus did not want to go away, he checked if i’m okay with him leaving, i just nodded, so he hugged me and just left 😭

SO ABOUT REGULUS CAUSE IM STILL BAD OKAY

he did not even say “hi” or shit, he just went

“oh so you are with H I M”

and i was like bro what? since when we are talking to each other like this??? what happened to hello? how was your day???

also he was nervously checking if the hall that we were standing in was clear. which was pretty mad, but i figured it out after i shifted back that he just wanted to check if any slytherins saw us 💀 he looked a little bit scared too. OKAY ANYWAY

so i went “why do you care”

AND HE RESPONDED “you are a blood traitor”

I WAS SO MAD. SO. MAD.

“that’s the reason why you stopped me?”

AND BARE WITH ME RN CAUSEEEEEE

“no.” he made a dramatic pause here lol??? “you know you can both still fix this”

MY JAW WAS ON A FLOOR I SWEAR, BECAUSE THEN HE SAID SOMETHING LIKE “you need to choose the right side. like mother said”

HE THREATENED ME TO JOIN LORD FUCKING VOLDEMORT.

BRO. WHAT THE FUCK.

hell no. I WAS SO PISSED SO P I S S E D

“reggie” “do not bother me again, please”

that’s all i said. the silence was LOUD, it was SCREAMING i think it was this moment that i knew that even if i tried, i would never convince reggie that lord voldemort and death eaters are not a good way to go to (if yk what i mean 😭) so i just walked away. and when i tell you i CRIED. i did not talk to sirius about it, i did not talk to remus about it, even tho both of them were trying to get out the convo between me and regulus of me LMAO, i knew that i would hurt sirius so i kept it to myself

ANYWAY

happy birthday to me and sirius i guess 😭😭😭

i am officially 17 in this dr 🤭

sirius ofc threw the whole party, but i passed. i wanted peace lmao. remus sat with me in his dormitory and we played some games, then dorcas and lily joined us, then james and peter. we had so much fun, it’s such a core memory 🫶🥹 I MISS THEM SO MUCH i’m sooooo homesick but yup i just gotta make my way back there (somehow)(even tho i know next shifts are gonna be awfully full of angst, i’m not ready tbh)

during the full moon this month me and james took care of remus ❤️‍🩹

ＤＥＣＥＭＢＥＲ

— ୨୧₊˚ christmas

okay sooooo HAPPY NEWS ABOUT JAMES AND LILY

basically james asked her out for a date and she said YES

WE WERE CELEBRATING and lily finally told me she likes him a lot and that if he would not be such a dumb-ass sometimes she would talk to him earlier 😭😭😭 i’m super happy for them literally waited for that moment for SO LONG. and sirius threw a little party in their dormitory so everyone were happy ❤️‍🩹

on christmas ofc we gave each other presents, but sirius went CRAZY this time.

1. he started dating a girl called daisy from ravenclaw (which was pretty crazy cause he didn’t pull up any girl for like a year or something?) this time he said that he really like her and will try to keep this relationship for longer than 3 weeks (they lasted like 3 months maybe 💀 james even made bets at this point 😭)

2. sirius and james were running around common room with a mistletoe to force people to kiss including me and remus 😭😭 pls guys i love them so much but WHAT

james and lily went out few times during december, and when lily was coming back to our dorm she was super happy and even tho she still had her opinion “but he is a dumb-ass sometimes🙄🙄🙄” she seemed to really like him???

sooooo also james invited sirius, remus, peter, lily, dorcas (and more actually it was a full-ass list with names of like 15 people and i’m too lazy to name all of them sorry 😭😭 maybe during editing i will do it) for new year’s eve, so we all needed to left hogwarts for christmas 😭 like girl i DONT HAVE A PLACE TO LIVE RN 💀 sirius stayed with james at his house, and remus told me that lyall is not coming back for christmas so we can go and live at his house for those 2 weeks, and we decided to do so ❤️‍🩹🥺 GUYS YOU DONT GET IT LIKE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AHHHHHHH PLS BRING ME BACK OMG

okay.

so.

i spent whole 2 weeks only with remus, it was super cute and cozyyy we decorated his house and baked (at least i did bc i was 17 and i could use magic legally outside hogwarts 💀) we had fun. truly these 2 weeks refreshed me soooo much, ALSO

LYALL LUPIN GOT ME A CHRISTMAS PRESENT 😭😭😭😭 it was little bracelet that remus told him i would like, pls lyall is such a nice guy 😭

and also i think the most memorable moment from these 2 weeks is remus christmas present, and by that i mean, he bought two tickets to “muggle” opera, and it was AMAZING. later the same night he told me the story how his parents met, and we played his mother records (i scripted that she was an opera singer!!!)

— ୨୧₊˚ new year’s eve

so me and remus needed to take a ride with this crazy wizard bus 😭😭😭 but we made it and spent THE BEST NEW YEAR’s EVE EVER. we had so much fun 😭 also i found out how many things in common me and dorcas have, which is funny because we were “friends” literally we live in one dorm 💀 but that night i got to know her more which is great bc we became closer as roommates. okay so basically during the midnight, when clock hit 12pm, there is this tradition that you have to kiss somebody for luck. so yup me and remus kissed (my cutie patootie ☹️) BUT ALSO WHEN I WAS GOING OUTSIDE WITH SIRIUS, REMUS, DORCAS AND OTHERS I SAW JAMES KISSING LILY???? I WAS SO HAPPY likeeeeee pls 😭

ＪＡＮＵＡＲＹ, ＦＥＢＲＵＡＲＹ, ＭＡＲＣＨ ＡＮＤ ＡＰＲＩＬ

i wil speed up those few months because nothing really happened except for some birthdays, and that was all because our exams, I WAS SO STRESSED IDK WHY i know that i will pass them perfectly (duhh) but i was stressed anyway. crazy time tbh lmao, everybody were busy.

about james and lily - they started to ‘officially date’ each other, which made me super happy, they are so cute 😭😭😭

also sirius broke up with this girl from ravenclaw, so it did not last long LMAO

and peter and sirius got themselves into a HUGE detention from mcgonagall for messing up her office 💀 which was crazy, we got -100 points from our house. you should have seen her, she was SO MAD. i’ve never seen mcgonagall so angry

ＭＡＹ

okayyyy so may was super chill month EXCEPT the final quidditch match. between gryffindor and slytherin it was AMAZING

okay so i probably did not write about that bc i did not find that necessary it still, i okay quidditch on one of ‘beater’ positions so yuppp i play quidditch 🤭 AND IT’S SO MICH FUNNN

anyway, gryffindor won after james found that goddamn little gold ball, when i tell you he was so annoyed bc he couldn’t catch it 😭😭 HE WAS SO PISSED, but we won 🤭

and after some other days of school work i “shifted back 😭” to cr

「 ✦ end notes ✦ 」

it was 2 months and im still there tbh 😭

ANYWAY

This shift was so crazy??? and fun???? and sad??? and cute??? AT THE SAME TIME.

i am now remus lupin gf. yup I WON

i’m so happy and i just can’t wait to shift there again 😭😭😭😭😭

remember that i will edit this page! there are A LOT to edit but i’m to lazy to do so 🤭

anyway BYE

[txcspikes]

HELLOOO my name is sholto young pokeballer and i like pokemon． is that obvious in a world of them anwayyyysss im justa bba transfer student and im gonna shitpost． cause i got nothing else going on in my life rn uuhhh feel free to talk to me or if you see me in the hallways． not gonna face reveal on this account so unless you know me by name or gliscord yhen you wont know me period

oh uuhhh she/he/they/it iddccc

about the mun!!!

you can call me adon or guy!!! guy is more the silly nickname but i truly dont mind what you call me ^_^

i go by he/him strictly but you can freeball with neos if you want

ive been into pokemon since i can remember :3 b/w was my first games, but ive played back to emerald and ive played the entire sv dlc and all!!!

since orion is more lore-heavy, and colress is a Grown Man i decided to make this account for some more shitposty things ........ if you ever want to do some kinda lore with them lmk!!!!!

interaction!!!

pelipper mail/malice: ☑️

musharna mail/malice: ☑️

mystery gifts: ☑️

magic anon: ☑️

in character anon hate: ☑️

please remember that if any of the mails/anons oversteps my boundaries, then i probably wont respond.

this is also pretty important to say: i dont care WHO interacts with me. fallers, sapients, eebydeebys, hybrids, ocs, self-inserts, in-game characters, i LOVE interaction. i respond to anything i see as fast as i can and unless its weird or stepping beyond my boundaries i WILL interact back!!!!!

that being said, i should establish some things

- mod is 15, sholto is 17! nothing nsfw. suggestive jokes i really dont care but hes 17 so you should know the boundaries for that

- any rotumblr blog is allowed to interact (back). literally anyone. you want a sapient pokemon to talk to sholto?? he'll answer!! want an eeby deeby to roleplay with sholto?? ill respond!! even fallers or such, (as my own bff literally has two faller blogs LOL) asks, anons, general questions, spam mail, ask games, interaction is always allowed!!!!

- i love character events and planning. if you have an idea for a small event between our characters, or a type of relationship they have, anything, please let me know!!! my discord is adonciant and you can add me (im not always active, so ill try and accept any friend requests or such as fast as i can) OOORR you can just dm me on here!!! preferably keep it to orion, so dont go messaging my other blogs about anything unless we have already messaged on a regular basis ^_^

- i (accidentally) do long threads of reblogs/interactions. i swear none of it is purposeful, i just happen to interact back if i get no indicator of an ending conversation. if you want, you can make an ooc tag to tell me to stop reblogging back or anything. these threads do not get tagged with anything, either.

- theres little content warnings to the blog. mostly because i plan for this to be more shitposty as i said but of course that can change with the course of time. especially if you want to plan lore with them!!!! pleeassee tell me i am ALWAYS open to lore and would LOVE to have some plans for him. lets say for now just a content warning of family angst. more are to be added if any should be added

- my main is @adonciant ! likes and follows come from there!

[dsmsix]

I need ur professional advice on rizzing up the baddies (and not fumbling said baddie)

Oh text me the details but my best advice is ALWAYS to go for it. ask her out for coffee in campus or something. if she’s from there.

you gotta do it scared, that’s the key. I approach women all the time, and it seems like I’m confident and shit but I’m always nervous. Thing is, I’ve realized that if she says no that changes everything. I also don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with me. It might hurt, but I’ll deal w that on my own and move on soon enough. With them, the previous platonic relationship doesn’t have to be fucked after I shot my shot.

If the person is already my friend, I tell her that’s totally ok and I hope we can still be friends, that I care about her as a friend and I was just seeing if it could maybe lead to something else. It didn’t and that’s ok. That I still value our friendship, and I’m gonna bark up some other tree. That I hope things won’t be weird, that I understand if she needs space. And then I back off and it always turns out ok.

I’m saying this very generically but it’s based on actual happenings in my life, I’m not that much of an unattached whore lol.

thing is, we get so scared of rejection we don’t even try. that’s worse than rejection. trying and clearing things up with an honest talk is always the best. taking the leap, asking someone out is terrifying. rejection sucks. but not everyone will want to date us and that’s ok. loads of ppl will and we’ll find them along the way. so if she does say no, don’t let it make you feel any less awesome. cause you are fucking awesome.

That being said, she will probably say yes. take her out for lunch, coffee, dinner, a party. Have a good time. try not to be too intense unless things have been solidified (fumbled a bad bitch cause of that last year lol). be yourself, as cliche and stupid as it is.

I know you so I know you dont just wanna fuck her. My objective plan for you is approaching her irl or through text. ask her if she’d like to grab a coffee/lunch/drink with you. or if she’d like to check out [insert dinner place name here] with you. And see where things go from there.

you’re cool as fuck, smart, and very sweet. you’re a great guy and I’m happy to still be your friend. Plus I can always get you some random bitches if anything bad happens. it won’t, but if it does just know it wont be the end of the world.

fumbling her, for you, would be

• being too intense from the get go

• not being clear w your intentions and not putting your dick on the table, as we say here (as in, when you do approach her romantically, be clear about it)

• not being proactive enough after she says yes (not asking her out a second time, not communicating, etc)

• not making sure BOTH of you are having fun in dates and whatnot. if you focus only on her she will notice. do shit that will also bring the best out in you. dont ask her out to a rave, for example.

• being embarrassed if she says no. be chill. it’s fine. she’s still a cool person and you can still be friends. you have a world of women to pursue, and you wouldn’t want to be with someone who doesnt wanna be w you so you’ll get over it soon enough. ez.

• if says yes and all goes ok and you’re ever in the setting for it, and she looks at you as in waiting for something FUCKING KISS HER. do it scared.

hope I helped broski

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

WeLL here we are...i want to write s/t quick to remember the year by. cus 2023 was probly one of my most significant years of life, even tho from the surface it may appear not much changed for me, 2023 laid the foundation,,,

firstly, january 2023 i began learning to make music, which is crazy like!!!! it has absolutely given me a new reason to be lieve in myself like i nvr had b4. its like unlocking a new area of my heart, and inutuion.. its so FUN, so so fun ohhh the fun i have, provides me w a brighter outlook for the future as i will always have this melodic part of me activated,going forward. ive learned so much in just a year. idk i just love it it makes me feel wise and complete i feel like an alchemist. i cld rly say a lot on the sense of security music has made me feel in my heart :'0 but i have some other things to get to;

summer 2023 i started doing yoga which has also changed things for me dramatically i think ive released a lot of built up stagnant energy from my body & aura. since i started i feel immensely more balanced n able to work thru my emotions as they come up. ngl when ppl used to recommend me to try yoga i thout it was hippie shit but its real lol.. im finding sm contentment in day to day life than i ever thought possible, easier time being present, yet another thing i will continue for the rest of my future that 2023 has given me.

these r good things but it must b said that this year has been Soooo rough for me in certain ways, mostly due to interpersonal relationships.. some ppl had to b let go from my life this year in ways i rly wasnt expecting & for a lot of the year things were just, foggy. however as things draw to a close im feeling immensely grateful like.. every1 im close to rn are all peaceful souls & we uplift each other, i see now why the ones causing drama naturally had to fall away. even if it was painful process im feeling so supported rn, & reciprocated TwwwT <3333

idk it just felt like as i was progressing w musical understanding, yoga stuff , as well as the past few months trying to use tea and herbs to get my organs in order, i feel that.. my energetic field is rly repairing itself & so a lot of old attachments just cant keep up anymore.

i have to say, well, erm, i am really in love w slimbo and its different than anything ive ever felt in my life. we've been in love for a long long time & i dont talk about it often as i am protective of this love. but god, its just, the purest bond ive ever known and our love for each other is deeper all the time. we r both life path 27/9 & the first time we met it literally felt like.. reuniting, it felt like a celebration..i had never noticed such warmth from someone. i cld never be in such a secure place rn if it wasnt for slimbo & every day im so grateful like dude i owe you my LIFE. idk how to explain it, we are just One. slimbo is my angel i cant wait to spend 2024 & forever with <3

if u read this far....ur a true PMDhead, thanks for being oomfies w me out here on the big wide web, i hope you bloom this year, & this can be a shift in the right direction for all of us <3 i believe palestine will be free. happy new year everyone, GANBATTE VIVA 2024 <333 -PMD9LL

[cowboyjen68]

Hi Jen, please forgive me if this sounds deranged. I understand if you don't reply, but I don't know any older women like me to go to for advice. Also, please disregard this if i forget to press anon (paranoid lol)

I never thought I wanted kids, my fiancé says she doesn't (sometimes she says things that make me think otherwise, but im going to say she doesn't because I have to take her at her word)

The thing is that recently it's been more and more in my head. Im in my early 30s so I don't know if it's a biological clock thing, I know I should say it to her but im not sure if I should either because I don't want to cause problems in our relationship, but also I don't even know if I understand how I feel about it (this is made worse by the fact that, while we live in the same city, we have temporarily had to live apart for financial reasons while saving for a mortgage)

The thing is, I feel like I'm starting to really want kids, which I know I should say to her

But

I feel like I only want kids with her if that makes sense? If I was with anyone else, I wouldn't want to

I'm not even sure if I actually want kids at all. It's more like (sorry if this is gross or anything). i have this increasing... need for want of a better word? To have with her what straight people have, I wish I could get pregnant by her somehow, I wish I could make a person who is made of me and of her, this makes me feel guilty and pained and confused (just to clarify this is not sexual confusion, I am and have always been exclusively same-sex attracted) I guess I just am at the point where I love her so much that I want something that I can't have, im not sure whether I actually want kids or whether it's some hormonal thing but (I know this sounds weird) i3 guess I wish I could express our love in that way? But I'm kind of in my feelings and confused about it, I dont know where to start or whether to tell her or what I would even say to her about it. Also most of my friends are either younger (wouldn't get it) or straight (and it would be humiliating to me to go to them over something that they could do without a second thought)

Anyway, i thought I'd come here because I know you have a lot more experience than me, and i was wondering what you would do in my position

I am one of those moms who never wanted kids. I am a realist and understood from a pretty young age that kids are a pain in the ass. They are expensive, a lifelong commitment, noisy, unpredictable and invasive. I was raised around nephews and nieces and younger cousins .I saw women my age get pregnant in high school. I grew up in the 80’s where half the “After School Specials” were about the hardships of teen pregnancy and a fair amount of books for teen girls and sitcoms aimed at my demographic featured young women having and raising unplanned kids. I very clearly saw the writing on the wall and wanted NO part of it. I wanted MY LIFE to be mine. 

     I have 5 kids all adopted from foster care and the truth is I didn’t want ANY Of them. I stated in my dating profile that kids were a deal breaker. I communicated over the course of my second relationship that kids were of negative interest to me and my life. My mind never changed and in all truth I just got tired of saying no and we became foster parents. MY ex loved the “IDEA” of being a parent but not the actual work. I understood this about her which was one reason I pushed back for years before giving in and agreeing. I know, based on my parents and my siblings I would be a decent mom, I just didn’t want to be. My kids are all grown except my 17 year old. They are 25, 25, 26 and 23. I have a pretty good relationship with them. My oldest daughter has a daughter who is 21 months. I am not a wonderful grandma. I work all the time and we live hours apart. I am focused on my life and home and future because for a 17 year marriage I neglected it. My kids all know I was a reluctant parent because we have a very open and honest relationship.

      Parenting with my ex was horrible. I worked two jobs, budgeted, did the majority of the homework, bedtime ritual, morning prep and house work and I spent years being exhausted. I partially stayed with her because until the final adoption we could not legally be married so I had NO legal right to the older 4 and was not about to abandon them to my wife. 

      I am telling you this background so you understand that I have a unique and possibly skewed perspective about parenting as a lesbian. It is totally normal to be unsure about wanting kids. I would say most straight people also go back and forth between the emotional idea of having kids as an extension of love and of a good use of their compatibility and partnership, to have and raise a happy, healthy child (ren) AND knowing the stress of money, unpredictable times, and the fact that, no matter how great parents are , kids are people and they very quickly for their own idea, personalities and who KNOWS what can happen given those facts. The difference is just that lesbians can’t accidentally become parents so we have to either overcome the fear and want the kids more than we don’t OR stay childless. Many great parents did not get there with careful planning, just one day they are thrust into the role and step up to the task. 

     My advice is to keep talking to your partner about your thoughts." I think I might want kids” is not the same and “WE MUST have kids or I won’t be happy”. Communicate your confusion and insecurities about it and also the good things you see about becoming parents.  I highly suggest volunteering for Big Brother Big Sisters, or even getting a foster care respite license. When you do respite you are essentially babysitting kids so adoptive and foster parents can get a break. These kids can be everything from charming and sweet to struggling with mental illness and trauma (which is why it requires training).. You can get a lot of fulfillment, experience and learning moments plus you are giving exhausted caretakers a break. Offer to babysit a friend's kids. See if the local Girl Scout needs volunteers, A lot of nature centers run kids summer programs or weekend programs like birthday parties and always need volunteers. Consider taking some childhood or first time parent classes. All of this is to give you a well rounded perspective of how kids can be, which is sometimes awful but very often wonderful and sweet and even when they are misbehaving you can feel joy in watching these tiny people learn and grow. 

You are correct about the idea of biological children vs adoption. They are not the same. I know a lot of people want to believe that they are exactly the same connection and bond but in my experience that is a lie people often tell themselves.  The fact is, parenting a child that is not biological does take a little more effort to bond and connect. Eventually it strengthens and can be wonderful but it is unique. Not better or worse, just different. My kids were all older, 4, 7, 8, 10, and 16 when they came into my life so they were already established in personality and habits and world view so it took time to align with each other. We are now all more like friends than a parent/child relationship but perhaps that just happens with age and maturity.  Adoption is by far cheaper with more available resources (through foster care) than using a sperm bank or asking a friend to donate so one of you can be pregnant but each couple needs to weigh what works for them. 

     I would suggest putting off major discussions until you can see each other but if not, do it over zoom or facetime so you can see each other’s expressions and have a nuanced conversation. I would not make any major purchases like a house until you are settled a bit and you both are at least on the same page with kids. That page might be neither of you are sure yet or that you both think it should wait until life is less up in the air to decide together. If you land solidly in the “i must have kids” camp and she says “NO”, you might have your answer. Then you must decide between letting go of the need for kids or moving on from the relationship. The worst thing you can do is push someone who is expressing that they don’t want kids into having kids. This is a bad deal. 

I know this is a lot. Kids are a big deal to both the relationship and to the kids who are brought into that relationship, no matter now that happens. I wish you the best and I hope, together, you can talk it out and get some clarity.