Hey, my fellow Jews with food restriction issues and eating disorders. I see you. I know it can be triggering to have to deal with elaborate food restrictions, and I know that oftentimes people who don't have to deal with this all the time can be really dismissive of how hard this can be for us.
It really isn't the same for someone with celiac or someone in recovery for ED as it is for people not grappling with that, and it's okay if it's too much and you lose your shit or fuck up and eat something you "shouldn't." It's okay if it's really really hard and you feel alone.
You aren't alone, and this isn't supposed to hurt. Please take care of yourself first, body and soul. You can't make it to next year, wherever you may be then, if you don't take care of yourself first, okay?
HaShem does not command us to hurt ourselves, and in fact commands the opposite.
Get rid of the Pharoah in your head whose hard heart asks you to hurt yourself. Be free. It's okay.
thinking about how having celiac disease encourages developing an eating disorder, and how little is done to combat that. we know, we know, the likelihood of developing an eating disorder is doubled after a diagnoses but, unavoidably, the entire treatment plan for celiacs encourages disordered eating. the absolute mistrust in food prepared by others, the difficulty of obtaining safe food, the ritualistic and justified obsession with cleanliness and what other foods have been in the kitchen and can i see the label and where did this come from and who touched this. the fact that any mistake can mean anything from days of pain or vomiting to hospitalization depending on the person.
the obsession is so justified and so dangerous. i love food, i love eating, and even i fall into the traps. i’ll decide, especially if traveling, that skipping meals is less effort than trying to eat. i’ll sometimes refuse to eat with friends and family because trying to accommodate myself is too much work for even me. i don’t want to go places or travel because it makes eating too hard.
i don’t know. I’m just thinking about that post about how anyone can develop an addiction (to more than just drugs) and it’s important to recognize what it looks like & thinking about how many celiacs i meet whose relationship to food is even more abysmal than mine
For Celiac Awareness I’m going to be honest and gross.
Celiac is a very serious illness, and it’s not some fad. It’s something that needs to be taken seriously, and there are severe consequences if it isn’t (and I wish it was easier for there to be at least monetary or career consequences for the people that cause these issues). If I have gluten (a protein in wheat, barley, and rye) it’s not just a sort of bad day or a bad and hurried trip to the bathroom. No, it is violent, it is everything in me coming out both ends till I’m bleeding everywhere, till I pass out, and probably till death if not for emergency medical intervention. So great, I made it to the hospital, they got my GI system under control except all I can handle are popsicles and ginger ale, what’s next? A mini coma. That’s right, fam. I’m talking sleeping for a few days without waking up or being able to wake up. And then I can’t consume solids or anything with much color for at least a week. After that is six months of fatigue and malnutrition.
Celiac is serious. It’s not a joke. It’s not a fad. This has life-ruining consequences, and I want people to take it seriously. And yes, people with celiac are allowed to snap at you if you’re about to cross-contaminate their food and it’s the fastest way to get your attention. Sometimes there isn’t time to be polite and incredibly informative. I bring this up because I’ve had family members call me rude for this, and have seen plenty of food workers complain about it. If you’re about to make a mistake that’ll get me sick and will make me not be able to eat anything or you’ll have to start my meal all over again then I damn will be as “rude” as I like to get your attention. Being SAFE is more important than me being “polite.”
I wish I could say something to the FDA about Celiac because less than 20 ppm of gluten in a food IS TOO HIGH. I can get sick from 19 ppm. This is not okay.
I also wish I could extend my reach and hatred for people who don’t care as far as the companies that certify that certain foods are safe with people for celiac to eat, because as I learned a few months ago they will actually certify cross-contaminated foods. There is no law saying they can’t do this, and I’m apalled.
Also, Schär, having wheat with “the gluten taken out” in your products makes people sick, so congrats on that.
I just discovered that in Roman Catholic Communion, gluten-free versions of the little crackers or bread aren't provided bc the Vatican has decided that it has to be wheat in order to be valid.
and while most people may just be able to have the wine or whatever and avoid the crackers, the priests have to have BOTH. even if they have fucking CELIAC'S.
which has resulted in the Church saying "maybe we shouldn't allow priests who can't have gluten and/or alcohol".
(which is ableist but I mean do we expect better from the Catholic Church)
I am so incredibly riled up over this and I'm not even Catholic.
Here’s a new one: I had to ask the grocery cashier to stop eating donuts at the same time as she scanned my items. I already assume that someone who’s recently dunked their hands in a bucket of flour has touched the outside of everything I buy at the supermarket, but I’m not usually a direct witness to the gluten -> hand -> my groceries pipeline 😬
And now to play a game I have not played in a very long time: Exactly how much is it gonna hurt that I just ate wheat gluten??
It was three bites of a burger before I realized the bun was not right, but it's also been several years since I mistakenly ate gluten, so god speed to my body.
i wonder how many people on fad diets like paleo or keto are people with digestive disorders and such that aren't given a diagnosis or anything to help them with the genuine food issues they have.
Proud of myself today cause I got 6 free sandwiches and I didn’t eat any of the bread*, just the insides 😌😌
*(this is not a “carbs are bad” diet culture thing. This is an every time I eat wheat it feels like someone is dragging a cactus along my entire intentional tract for the next 1-3 days and at some point in there I will likely almost shit my pants, but bread/wheat products taste so good it’s so hard to resist the temptation thing)
I miss eating my traditional bread, pastries and baked goods, I miss eating new things too. A huge part of my memories of nice or happy moments, which are few and far between, have gone or are slowly but surely being forgotten bc the smells, tastes and cooking are no longer part of the things I can eat. I miss the foods that were part of the new traditions of my personal and new world, my safe and happy world and had special meanings and links to my found family. Some foods and ingredients now taste disgusting or off in the best of cases, there but not really, a ghost. A phantom smell like phantom pain. My small culture and traditions vanished in a day. No longer have the ingredients, the energy, the memory, the money, the full sense of smell and taste. No one left except one person, and we no longer can have our shared foods. Now eating something as basic as bread is rare, expensive, different making and ingredients, no longer the same. No memories attached to it. I eat shadows and I am always hungry.
i be rel sick n shit lol i’m struggling a lot so please if you can share my campaign or even just take a read 🤍 https://fundmetnt.com/campaign/help-me-sustain-my-health-and-find-a-diagnosis