#character growth is your reward for reading that book or watching that show and it’s one of the best things

[cal-is-a-cryptid]

Something that makes me happy #60:

Some real juicy character development

[makedonsgriva]

Hi again @makedonsgriva . If you don't mind me asking, can I ask, what are your top 7 favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series/etc) and your top 7 favorite ships (can be canon or non canon) from any media? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this questions before and if I ask too much.....

Hi @dnana-2809-blog !!! Thank you for the ask. I don’t mind answering your questions at all and you are always welcome to send more asks in my inbox ^_^

Top 7 favorite media (in no particular order)

1. Attack On Titan

I can never ever move on from this story. The plot twists??? The characters??? Zero fan service and filler episodes and being just straight to the point??? And the PLOT!?! HELLO??? THE PLOT IS SO GODDAMN GOOD????

Attack on Titan is truly a fantastic story about war, humanity, sacrifice and above all, love. On the surface level, it seems like every other shonen anime out there but its depth is truly incomparable. No media I’ve watched comes close to it.

2. Captive Prince Trilogy

I think I read this series for the first time back in 2018-19 and it absolutely rocked my world??? I reread it almost every year now because holy shit??? I’ve never read a better enemies to forced allies to friends to lovers to divorced but forced allies to lovers to im gonna die for this man???

Also the plot??? CS Pacat knew how hard they cooked and ate with Captive Prince. The world building, the characters, the plot twists, politics, the drama??? I M M A C U L A T E.

I highly recommend it to everyone who has not read it but please check the trigger warnings for this trilogy before you start.

(Pls let me know the artist yall so I can edit this and credit the artist!)

3. Carry On Trilogy

I don’t think I’ve ever been as emotionally attached to a series as I’ve been to Carry On. Like Simon, Baz and Penny were exactly who I needed as an awkward teen dealing with a lot of bs. I saw this trilogy being completed in front of my eyes. I can’t tell you how healing and rewarding it was for me to read Any Way The Wind Blows. 2020 was the most horrific, heartbreaking nightmare for me and I think a part of me healed when I read AWTWB in 2021. When I saw that Simon and Baz were going to be okay, I understood that I would okay too. It wasn’t going to be easy, but it would happen.

Sorry I think I got too personal but I just have so much love for this series and the way it showed healing and love and friendship. It’s so special to me ❤️

4. Tian Guan Ci Fu

A very recent addition but I just know it’s going to be one of those series I’m going to spend the rest of my life loving. I’m such a sucker for stories that are, at the end of the day, about love. About knowing how vicious and shitty this world is but being kind is what makes all the difference. About learning from past mistakes and about making a future, no matter how late that future comes.

It also gave me Xie Lian. You guys don’t understand just how much I love Xie Lian. I can go to war for that man, okay. I can follow him through hell. I will protect that man with my life.

5. The Good Place

It’s been a while since I watched this show but I do remember just how deeply it impacted me and permanently altered my brain chemistry.

The characters were all so unique and coming from such different backgrounds and with really interesting backstories. The growth we witnessed for them over the four seasons was phenomenal. Especially for Eleanor. And Michael. God I fucking love Michael.

Everything about this show was top notch. I think I will need to make a whole separate post talking about the philosophy of this show. I think this is one of those shows that everyone needs to watch at least once in their life.

6. Fleabag

Fleabag will always be superior. The main character is one of my all time favorites and I think it tells a really great, bittersweet story of coming to terms with your own flaws. It’s a story about life but not the entirety of it because we just get to witness a very small portion of Fleabag’s life. Her mistakes are colossal but her life is too big to be defined by it. Yes she is a raging cunt but yes I love her to death and her story too. The humour, the fourth wall breaking, the emotions… all of it make fleabag the amazing show it is.

7. Yuri On Ice

My first anime ever. The feelings it gave me is incomparable to any other. News of its movie cancellation was beyond devastating.

(As I type it out, the theme song is playing in my head..)

I can’t begin to emphasise just how important this anime is for queer representation in mainstream anime because while this anime is about ice skating, yes, above all it’s about love. How it makes us better, how it brings out the best version of ourselves, how it sustains and pushes us forward. And that love just so happens to be between two men. It’s just so heartwarming.

It was so so important for me as a young queer person still struggling with their identity and wanting to fit in. Yuri On Ice was so important for me and still is.

(Fuck I miss Yuri and Viktor)

As this post has already got too long, I will answer your ship question in a separate post! I will make sure to tag you when I do :)

[bunchacrunchcake]

I got off the internet, mostly, and it's been great. Here are some reasons.

Social media companies keep you on their sites by showing addictive content. They sometimes trigger fight or flight. They often trigger social anxiety. They are literally modeled after slot machines (low risk, variable reward) You will constantly crave dopamine, never get enough, feel awful, and never know why.

Staring at the ceiling or reading a book isn't hard anymore. It took about a month, but... if I can't figure out something to do for this very second, I just kind of look around until I figure something out. Sometimes it's boring, that's okay. Being bored just isn't the psychic torture it used to be. It's pretty mundane.

I do all my chores. I used to have to block time out to do this or that. Then force myself to stop what I was doing (which was often using multiple apps and websites as well as watching a movie or playing a game,) to go do something incredibly boring. I don't have to combat that level of inertia anymore. If I'm microwaving or cooking something, I just do a few dishes here or there, or do some sweeping for a couple minutes. It all adds up and my house is cleaner and more organized. What I used to do while my food was cooking was scroll through reels until I could break away to keep cooking.

I consume less, but retain more information. Let's be honest, you've gone by probably 100 posts today. What was the last one about? Okay, what about 10 posts ago? I can read half a book in a day if I want to (don't always want to,) because I can just sit down and read. I'm not constantly fighting the urge to go do something more interesting. And I can make up my mind about whether I like it or not, the plot, character development, etc. My attention span is long enough to read 100 pages in the afternoon, go make tea, and mush it all around in my head while the kettle is boiling. I also don't waste my time watching or reading things I don't like. I used to look at youtube and be like "I have to watch something, what am I going to watch?" Now I go, "Is there anything interesting in my feed?" The question is different, and I've learned that often there is not. I used to watch and watch and watch just to fill time. Now that I don't have to, so much less of it is actually interesting. Reels and TikTok are actually painfully boring. They're huge huge dopamine hits, but about 1 in 50 are actually interesting and even less of them really add much to my life. I used to binge watch them for hours.

I worry less about what other people think. Top comments are always someone arguing. Comment replies on reddit and almost every other platform are arguing. If they're not picking apart a thought you casually came up with on an evening off, they're actively throwing hate at you. You might get adoration too. But none of it is really constructive. It doesn't really help you develop your thoughts or grow as a person. Plus, not everyone is going to like what you do or who you are. Part of growth is not trying to avoid negativity, but understanding where it comes from and whether you think it's a legitimate thing to work on or not. Social media just hurls unconstructive negativity at you 24/7. The amount of times I think about whether someone else would like what I'm doing in the current moment is dialed down from a 10/10 to a 1 or 2. Yes it's okay that you were a jerk to the cashier because you were having a bad day. It's not a good thing. Please learn from it and try to figure out how to not do it in the future, but you're not irredeemable. The internet tends to throw the baby out with the bathwater as far as personalities and people go. It's hard to walk around in life trying to be morally perfect when everyone's opinion of what that is is so drastically different.

In short, I am patient, I don't second guess myself, and I'm happy. It didn't happen immediately and it might not to you, but it was my experience and I am not sure I will be a regular social media user any time soon.

[pancakeis]

Zhichu Interview for JJWXC (2021)

　　JJWXC’s signed author, Zhichu. Born by the Yangtze River, has a passionate love for all beautiful things. The writing journey began in the summer of 2018; creating and writing is a process of becoming more aware of the world. It has allowed me many rewarding experiences, as well as a continuous growth. 

　　

　　Q1：What is the origin of the pen name ‘Zhichu’?

　　A：The pen name actually originated from my profile page’s name The Child Born in Chu [1]. I’m a child of Wuhan; when I was young, my parents mostly read “Urban Chu Daily News” (such a distant memory haha). At that time, I couldn’t come up with anything good for a pen name,  then I happened to have a meal in the Chu River Han Street [2]. Suddenly an idea sprang up, and the rest was history.

[1]: the area nearby Chu River, a tributary of the Yangtze River

[2]: the new landmark of Wuhan. More info here and here

　　Q2：What made you decide to publish on Jinjiang?

　　A：To be honest, it began in the 2018 summer break. I was very free, lazing around at home and reading so many novels on JJ. One time experiencing the void [3], I suddenly had this urge to write something myself, so I told my mom, “Mom, I want to write novels.”

My mom said, “Then go and write, don’t say empty words.”

I’m more of the “actions speak louder than words” type, and with the push from my mom’s words, I went ahead and did it in the heat of the moment (my mom knows really well how to motivate me). When writing the first book, “BE-obsessing Survival System��, I suddenly realised that, creating your own characters and story is an amazing process. What I find even more inconceivable, is to have so many adorable readers giving comments and support. It was completely beyond my initial expectation.

[3]: the void left behind by a really good book

　　Q3：Do you have outlines or drafts when writing?

　　A：Don’t have such detailed outlines. I’ll draw mind maps, but usually the initial idea and the final product are two different entities altogether. Because my writing is more of an immersive style, towards the latter stage, the characters will develop their own consciousness to alter the plot developments. I do have saved drafts, except for the first title [4]. The newer works all have at least a 10k-word draft saved, however the daily updates were basically freshly written.

[4]: Referring to Zhichu’s first book BE System

　　

　　Q4：What has motivated you to serialise your novels?

　　A：Readers. I’m a procrastinator, so setting up a deadline for myself is very much needed. I’m also really afraid of disappointing others; when I think about readers waiting to read the updates every night at 9 o’clock, I’m fueled with determination to finish writing ahead of that time. Reading the comments grants me an immense happiness, a sense of achievement and pleasure that nothing else can bring about. I can still remember the username of the very first commenter. Really, very thankful.

　　

　　Q5：What are your usual hobbies?

　　A：Listening to songs, music inspires me a lot. Watching movies, reading books, scrolling through everyone’s comments, noting down nice eateries and gathering with friends at said eateries for a meal. Eating good food makes me very happy.

　　

　　Q6：Any genre that you really want to try your hand at?

　　A：Too many! I love sci-fi and supernatural very much. I’m a horror film enthusiast, but because I love it so much, I keep delaying, don’t dare to start writing it. However, in the future I’ll continue trying my hand at various styles, because I really don’t like to confine myself in a fixed scope of writing.

　　

　　Q7：What kind of style and characters can we expect from your next book?

　　A：Hopefully I can convey a really cool style of writing. Characters’ personas are: a shou whom you don’t know when he’ll be forced to transform himself from a pure and holy angel into a maniacal black lotus, and a big boss gong who is both languid and melancholic, showing a lack of interest towards everyone and everything except for the shou. Two people, evenly matched in power, yet strikingly different from each other. A new attempt, I hope everyone will like it.

　　

　　Q8：Anything to tell your readers?

　　A：What I want to say is the same as every time I end a book -- really, very, very thankful towards everyone for supporting my works. I’m someone with not too much self-confidence, and my health isn’t good either. Serialising a novel is both very lonely and taxing, but seeing your words and encouragement in the comments give me the strength to carry on. It’s also you who pull me out from the endless sunken loop of self-doubting, therefore I always want to express my gratitude towards all of you, no matter how many times. I’m only a flawed human being, not a persona that someone came up with, so I want to thank you too, for your tolerance towards me. 

Although started off as an impulse, I treat writing with lots of sincerity. Writing, and everything I’ve experienced ever since I began writing, have allowed me to grow into a new self. It’s thanks to your presence throughout this process that I could persevere. It’s hard to imagine that we’re friends who communicate solely through written words, because I have received so much warmth and kindness from all of you. Perhaps this is the value of writing and reading ba.

Love you all, sincerely wishing each of you safety and happiness.

---

Raw: JJWXC

Translation: keishi

First posted on Twitter @_keikaku

[ryancrossfield]

40 Things I Wish I’d Known at 40

That family, flowers and walks in the woods would bring me more happiness than cars, watches and houses ever would.

That getting super-fit would multiply my creativity, productivity and prosperity considerably.

That your choice of relationship partner is one of the main sources of your success (or failure), joy (or misery) and tranquility (or worry).

That I’d do my finest work when I’d be working in hotel rooms and flying on airplanes rather than when chained to an office desk.

That good friendships are priceless treasures. And that old friends are the most precious ones.

That heaven helps those who help themselves. So do your best and let your higher power do the rest.

That people putting you down is a sign of your increasing success.

That the priorities I thought were most important in my youth are actually the pursuits I’m least interested in as I mature.

That silence, stillness and solitude form the sweet song that most attracts the Muse.

That small daily victories, performed with disciplined consistency over extended periods of time, lead to revolutionary results.

That when I didn’t get what I desired it was because the universe had something a whole lot better in mind.

That being scared just means you’re about to grow. And that frequent discomfort is the price of accelerated progress.

That if you risk all for love and it doesn’t work out, there is no failure because all love stories are, in truth, hero tales. And no growth of the heart is a waste. Ever.

That working diligently without concern for the rewards is the very behavior that brings the rewards.

That just because someone is aging doesn’t mean they are growing.

That life has a fabulous feedback system showing you what you are doing right by where you are winning (and what you need to improve by where you’re frustrated).

That it usually takes twenty years of working anonymously before you acquire the wisdom and expertise required to know what to leave out of a piece of work so it becomes extraordinary.

That the humbler the person, the stronger the character.

That your income will never exceed your self-identity. And your impact will never be larger than your personal story.

That we get what we settle for. (So stop settling for what you don’t want.)

That sometimes silence is the loudest reply you can give.

That the way people make you feel when you interact with them tells you everything you need to know about them.

That taking a lot of time off would make me twice as productive.

That feeding the trolls is a waste of your time. Most critics are jealous because you did what they couldn’t do. Ignore them. And allow mastery to be your response.

That bullies become cowards once you stand up to them.

That journaling is praying on paper. And every prayer is heard.

That a genuinely rich life costs a lot less than you think.

That some people in business will tell you they’ll do amazing things for you, but once the deal is signed, they’ll end up doing nothing for you.

That the activities and places that fill you with joy are the activities and places where your wisdom wishes you to be.

That the best use of money is to create experiences and memories and not to secure objects and possessions.

That willpower is built by doing difficult things. So do more difficult things. (Daily.)

That it’s better to read a few books deeply than consume many books lightly.

That hardship is the birthplace of heroism. Honor your scars as they have made you you.

That the majority of human beings have wonderful hearts and they’ll show them to you if you make them feel safe.

That elderly people have the best stories. And deserve the highest respect.

That all life has huge value. Don’t ever step on a spider.

That when you feel most alone, your higher power is closest to you.

That not every hour of the day and not every day of the week needs to be used “productively” and “grinding.” Taking naps, staring at the stars and, sometimes, doing nothing are pursuits absolutely necessary for a life of unlimited beauty.

That respecting yourself is vastly more important than being liked by others.

That life’s too short to play small with your highness.

- from The Everyday Hero Manifesto

(the bold ones are the ones I like the most)

[spockandawe]

Well, this is interesting! So, in that post yesterday, there was one line that really baffled me, a thing about people brushing off a character as an asshole “because he shows literally zero growth.” I kind of set that aside because it was such a weird non-sequitur, and guessed that it was just someone’s sentences not quite keeping up with their train of thought, which has happened to me many times. Apparently I was wrong! I already spent long enough on that one post, I’m tired of talking about that, but this is new and interesting. 

Okay. I kind of wanted to see if I could talk about this purely in terms of abstracts and not characters, but I don’t think it’ll work. It would be frustrating to write and confusing to read. It’s about Jiang Cheng. Right up front: This isn’t about whether or not he’s an abuser. Frankly, I don’t think it’s relevant. This also isn’t about telling people they should like him. I don't care whether anyone else likes him or not. But I do like him, and I am always fascinated by dissecting the reasons that people disagree with me. And the process of Telling Stories is my oldest hyperfixation I remember, which will become relevant in a minute.

I thought I had a good grasp on this one, you know? Jiang Cheng makes it pretty obvious why people would dislike Jiang Cheng. But then the posts I keep stumbling over were making weird points, culminating in that “literally zero growth” line.

So! What happened is that someone wrote up a post about how Jiang Cheng’s character arc isn’t an arc, it’s stagnation. It’s a pretty interesting read, and I broadly agree with the larger point! The points where I would quibble are like... the idea that it’s absolute stagnation, as opposed to very subtle shifts that still make a material difference. But still, cool! The post was also offered up as a reason why OP was uninterested in writing any more Jiang Cheng meta, which I totally get. I’m not tired of him yet, but I definitely understand why someone who isn’t a fan of his would get tired about writing about a character with a very static arc. Okay!

Now, internet forensics are hard. I desperately wish I had more information about this evolution, because I find this stuff fascinating, but I have no good way to find things said in untagged posts, reblogs, or private/external venues. But as far as I can tell, that “literally zero growth” wasn’t just a slip of the tongue, it’s become fashionable for people to say that Jiang Cheng is an abusive asshole (that it’s fucked up to like) because he doesn’t have a character arc.

Asshole? Yes. Abusive? This post still isn’t about that. This is about it being fucked up to like this character because he did bad things and had a static character arc.

At first, that point of view was still deeply confusing to me. But I think I figured out the idea at the core of it, and now I’m only baffled. I’m not super interested in confirming this directly, because the people making the most noise about this have not inspired confidence in their ability to hold a civil conversation and I’m a socially anxious binch, but I think the idea is: ‘This character did Bad Things, and then did not improve himself.’

Which is alarmingly adjacent to that old favorite standard of ‘This piece of fiction is glorifying Bad Thing.’ I haven’t seen anyone accusing mxtx of something something jiang cheng, only the people who read/watched/heard the story and became invested in the Jiang Cheng character, but things kind of add up, you know?

Like I said, I don’t want to arbitrate anyone’s right to like/dislike Jiang Cheng. That’s such a fucking waste of time. But this is fascinating to me, because it’s like..... so obviously new and sudden, with such a clear originating point. I can’t speak to the Chinese fans, obviously, but exiledrebels started translating in... what, 2017? And only now, in 2021, do people start putting forth Jiang Cheng’s flat character arc as a “reason” that he’s bad? I’m not going to argue if he pings you in the abuse place, I’m not a dick. I’m not going to argue if you just dislike his vibes. I’m just over here on my blog and in the tag enjoying myself, feel free to detour around me. But oh my god, it’s so silly to try to tell other people that they shouldn’t like him because he has a static character arc.

I want to talk about stories. I don’t know how much I’ll be able to say, because it’s impossible to make broad, sweeping statements, because there are stories about change, there are stories about lack of change, there are all kinds of media that can be used to tell stories, and standards for how stories are told and what they emphasize vary across cultures and over time. But I think that what I can say is that telling a story requires... compromise. It requires streamlining. Trying to capture all the detail of life would slow down most stories to an unbearable degree. Consider organically telling someone ‘I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich’ versus the computer science exercise of having students describe, step by step, how to make one (spread peanut butter? but you never said you opened the lid)

Hell, I’ve got an example in mdzs itself. The largely-faceless masses of the common people. If someone asks you to think about it critically like, yes, obviously these are people, living their own lives, with their own desires, sometimes suffering and dying in the wake of the novel plot. But does the story give weight to those deaths? Or does it just gloss by? Yes, it references their suffering occasionally, but it is not the focus, and it would slow the story unbearably to give equal weight to each dead person mentioned. 

Does Wei Wuxian’s massacre get given the same slow, careful consideration as Su She’s, or Jin Guangyao’s? No, because taking the time to weigh our protagonist with ‘well, this one was a mother, and her youngest son had just started walking, but now he’s going to grow up without remembering her face. that one only became an adult a few months ago, he still hasn’t been on many night-hunts yet, but he finds it so rewarding to protect the common people. oh, and this one had just gotten engaged, but don’t worry, his fiancee won’t mourn him, because she died here as well.’ And continuing on that way to some large number under 3000? No! Unless your goal is to make the reader feel bad for cheering for a morally grey hero, that would be a bad authorial decision! The book doesn’t ignore the issue, it comes up, Wei Wuxian gets called out about all the deaths he’s responsible for, but that’s not the same as them being given equal emotional weight to one (1) secondary character, and I don’t love this new thing where people are pretending that’s equivalent.

When Wei Wuxian brutally kills every person at the Wen supervisory office, are you like ‘holy shit... so many grieving families D:’ or are you somewhere between vindicated satisfaction and an ‘ooh, yikes’ wince? Odds are good you’re somewhere in the satisfaction/wince camp, because that’s what the story sets you up to feel, because the story has to emphasize its priorities (priorities vary, but ‘plot’ and ‘protagonist’ are common ones, especially for a casual novel read like this)

Now, characters. If you want to write a story with a sweeping, epic scale, or if you want to tightly constrain the number of people your story is about, I guess it’s possible to give everyone involved a meaningful character arc. Now.... is it always necessary? Is it always possible? Does it always make sense? No, of course not. If you want to do that, you have to devote real estate to it, and depending on the story you want to tell, it could very possibly be a distraction from your main point, like the idea of mxtx tenderly eulogizing every single character who dies even incidentally. Lan Qiren doesn’t get a loving examination of his feelings re: his nephews and wei wuxian and political turnover in the cultivation world because it’s not relevant, and also, because his position is pretty static until right near the end of the story. Lan Xichen is arguably one of the most static characters within the book, he seems like the same nice young between Gusu and the present, right up until... just before the end of the story.

You may see where I’m heading with this.

Like, just imagine trying to demand that every important character needs to go through a major life change before the end of your book or else it didn’t count. This just in, Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg go through multiple novels without experiencing radical shifts in who they are, stop liking them immediately. I do get that the idea is that Jiang Cheng was a ~bad person~ who didn’t change, but asdgfsd I thought we were over the handwringing over people being allowed to like ““bad”” fictional characters. The man isn’t even a canonical serial killer, he’s not my most problematic fave even within this novel.

And here is where it’s a little more relevant that I would quibble with that original post about Jiang Cheng’s arc. He’s consistently a mean girl, but he goes from stressed, sharp-edged teenager, to grief-stricken, almost-destroyed teen, to grim, cold young adult (and then detours into grim, cold, and grief-stricken until grief dulls with time). He does become an attentive uncle tho. He..... doesn’t experience a radical change in his sense of self, which... it’s...... not all that strange for an adult. And bam, then he DOES experience a radical change, but the needs of the plot dictate that it’s right near the end. And he’s not the focus of the story, baby, wangxian is. He has the last few lines of the story, which nicely communicate his changes to me, but also asdfafas we’re out of story. He was never the main character, it’s not surprising we don’t linger! The extras aren’t beholden to the needs of plot, but they’re also about whatever mxtx wanted to write, and I guess she didn’t feel like writing about Jiang Cheng ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But also. Taking a step backward. Stable characters can fill a perfectly logical place in a story. Like, look at Leia Organa. I’m not saying she has no arc, but I am saying that she’s a solid point of reference as Luke is becoming a jedi and Han is adjusting his perspective. I wouldn’t call her stagnant, the vibes are wrong, but she also isn’t miserable in her sadness swamp, the way Jiang Cheng is.

Or, hell, look at tgcf. The stagnant, frozen nature of the big bad is a central feature of the story. The bwx of now is the bwx of 800 years ago is the bwx of 1500+ years ago. This is not the place for a meta on how that was bad for those around him and for him himself, but I have Thoughts about how being defeated at the end is both a thing that hurts him and relieves him. Mei Nianqing is a sympathetic character who’s also pretty darn static. Does Ling Wen have a character arc, or do we just learn more about who she already is and what her priorities always were? I’m going to cut myself off here, but a character’s delta between the beginning of a story and the end of a story is a reasonable way to judge how interesting writing character meta is, and is a very silly metric to judge their worth, and even if I guessed at what the basic logic is, for this character, I am still baffled that it’s being put forth as a real talking point.

(also, has it jumped ship to any other characters yet? have people started applying it in other fandoms as well? please let me know if this is the case, I am wildly curious)

(no, but really, if anyone is arguing that bwx is gross specifically because he had centuries to self-reflect and didn’t fix himself, i am desperate to know)

And finally. The thing I thought was most self-evident. Did I post about this sometime recently? If a non-central character experiences a life-altering paradigm shift right near the end of the story (without it being lingered over, because non-central character), oh my god. As a fic writer? IT’S FREE REAL ESTATE. This is the most fertile possible ground. If I want to write post-canon canon-compliant material, adsgasfasd that’s where I’m going to be looking. Okay, yeah, the main couple is happy, that’s good. Who isn’t happy, and what can I do about that? Happy families are all alike, while every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way, etc.

It’s not everyone’s favorite playground, but come on, these are not uncommon feelings. And frankly, it’s starting to feel a little disingenuous when people act like fan authors pick out the most blameless angel from the cast and lavish good things upon them. I’m not the only one who goes looking for a good dumpster fire and says I Live Here Now. If I write post-canon tgcf fic, it’s very likely to focus on beef and/or leaf. I have written more than one au focusing on tianlang-jun.

And, hilariously. If the problem with Jiang Cheng. Is that he is a toxic man fictional character who failed to grow on his own, and is either unsafe or unhealthy to be around. If the problem is that he did not experience a character arc. If these people would be totally fine with other people liking him, if he improved himself as a person. And then, if authors want to put in the (free! time-consuming!) work of writing that character development themselves. You would think that they would be lauded for putting the character through healthier sorts of personal growth than he experienced in canon. Instead, I am still here writing this because first, I was bothered by these authors being named as “freaks” who are obsessed with their ‘uwu precious tsundere baby’ with a “love language of violence,” and then I was graciously informed that people hate Jiang Cheng because he experiences no character growth.

[g-on-ef]

Hey I was wondering if you're still a fan of Helluva Boss and what you thought of the latest episode?

@megashadowdragon asked: have you watched helluva boss episode 6 which came out today ( if you were unaware) what are your thoughts

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It warms my heart to know you guys ask for my opinion ^^ now let's get down to business

WARNING THIS REVIEW WILL BE A NEGATIVE ONE WIT A HINT OF POSITIVITY THESE ARE MY THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS ON THE EPISODE YOU DONT HAVE TO AGREE WIT THEM BUT DONT WASTE MY TIME WIT YOUR NEED TO ATTACK ME FOR HAVING THOUGHTS OF MY OWN YOU HAVE BEEN WARN

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To answer both questions yes I still watch Helluva Boss however after their latest episode I think I will just stick to writing fanfiction about Blitz and Striker as well as stick to whatever content the fandom creates.

This episode if Imma be honest with you guys was not worth the wait, hell I was literally tempted to leave the episode as it just didn’t have my attention as the others.

The episode had some decent moments where I was chuckling a little but other than that I wasn’t that into it, to be honest the bad out weigh the good. 

Also I wanna add that a while ago I wrote how Vivzipop and her crew did not know how to handle complex characters or complex scenes and I was right, this show and their crew do not know how to handle mature topics without reducing them into a joke but we are getting ahead of ourselves so let’s start with the pros, the cons, and everything in between.

Let’s start of with the pros,

Loona knowing when Blitz was being serious was a nice touch, it showed that even if Loona acts like she doesn’t care about Blitz she actually pays attention to him and knows when he is being serious and when he is joking around.

Moxxie was the true MVP his interaction with the agents had me smiling as well enjoying his moments.

Blitz protecting Moxxie

STRIKER !!!! I am a simp for this imp and I’ll take whatever crumbs I can get to see him ^^

Verosika, Fitzorallia, love them, love them 

And that’s it...to be honest that’s it...like other than that that’s basically all that I like from that episode...

Now let’s get into the rest of this episode...

Okay was anyone other than me confused as to why they decided now was a good time to introduce the agents so late in the game?

Like at this point I am convinced that Vivizie and her crew are just winging it.

The agents were literally thrown in the show and it felt outta the blue, like I said it feels like Vivizie and her crew don’t know what they are doing and are just throwing things together like they could’ve given us hints that the agents were watching them, or give us a hint that they were being spied on, it didn’t even have to be big it could have just been small.

An example would be from my favorite book series Cirque Du Freak, in the first book Mr. Crepsely (a main character in the book) mentions something small that will become huge in later books, it was small but allowed the reader to be curious it gave the reader that something big was coming and we should be prepared.

Like I said it was a small hint but I left me curious and wanting to read more to find out more about what is going on.

Helluva boss didn’t do that it just threw this new idea and new characters without giving the others to grow.

If they gave us a hint that they were being watched it wouldn’t have felt like that idea came outta nowhere.

Also was I the only one that was uncomfortable with the way Blitz kept making jokes about the agent’s dead mom? I’m sorry but that was just wrong on soooo many levels.

Also with the truth serum thing...why did they use it if they weren’t even gonna get answers like again this came outta nowhere because the truth serum was supposed to make them speak the truth not look like they were tripping on acid. On less I missed something please let me now if I did.

Also to be honest the whole confession thing was once again treated like a joke, especially when Blitz asked Moxxie why he let Millie peg him, ummm...an emotional scene like that shouldn’t have jokes of any kind surrounding it, especially when it was supposed to be a heartfull moment.

Now Blitz ... okay Blitz and his vision was a little decent but I also didn’t like it.  A lot of people had their speculation especially with the Stolas scene but the more I look at it the more I see it as a bittersweet moment.

Revealing that he was afraid of intamacy wasn’t that big of a surprised since we already knew that like it was nice for conformation.

Okay now onto the Sto*itz moment in the song ... like I said this was bittersweet moment,

People interpet the scene as how Blitz is afraid to love Stolas others saw it as Blitz was still chained to Stolas and would only be free if he and Stolas talk it out and another mentioned how he was forever chained to Stolas and how toxic the relationship between the two is.

Honestly I viewed it as how Blitz will be forever trapped in situations like this were he is to afraid to love someone or love himself and unless he comes to terms with his own demons he’ll forever be trapped in an endless cycle of pain and misery.

Now onto why I think that that Vivizie and her crew can’t handle mature themes.

Two characters have just had a revelation about their relationship with one another and instead of being honest with each other it gets turned into a joke...again...

Moxxie told Blitz what he felt and Blitz told him he treats him like shit cause its tough love...da freak ??? You just had a moment where you realized you pushed everyone away because you were afraid to be alone so you rather push everyone away so you have an excuse to let them leave and instead of admitting to that you just tell Moxxie it was all tough love.

Not to mentioned that you’re giving compliments and than tell him your done because your out of compliments...again you had a huge revelation and instead of giving the characters time to digest what they went through you just toss it to the side. 

Another thing that pissed me off was how right after a huge moment you throw in a fight scene...I...why...just why ???

You had an emotional scene (that had no build up) but than throw it to the side for a fight scene that shouldn’t have been added at all.

Like the minute Millie and Loona saved them they should’ve opened up a portal and take them away not waste time on fighting only for them to get caught in the end.

Like I literally feel like they wasted all that time on animation than on writing and planning what they wanted from this.

Like again they had an emotional connection/scene and threw it to the side for some fight scenes which was a disappointment because had Loona and Millie saved them  and take them home Blitz could’ve had some major character development and the four of them could have a heartfelt scene admitting everything that bothers them and help them get closer. 

Nope, they decided to just throw a fight scene why I don’t know but it bothers me how they just tossed an emotional scene for some action scenes.

So yeah I am not happy with how that was handle at all.

Let’s also get to the Loona and Millie scenes...Millie crying for Moxxie once again made no sense as we never seen Millie care for Moxxie, hell she cares more for Blitz than Moxxie which is fucked up.

Hell when Moxxie was being critizied by her parents she didn’t do much to defend him hell Sally Mae was more honest with him than Millie.

Honestly Millie feels like she is being written by twenty different people who don’t know what they want from her.

And Loona, Loona could seriously be written outta the episode and nothing would changed.

Also they truly refused to let their characters grow seriously Moxxie was still treated like shit by Blitz in the end so yeah no character growth at all.

And now onto the last scene with Stolas and Blitz ... holy shit man Imma be honest with you guys Stolas asking for sex after saving them feels fucked up, to me it felt like the only reasons he saved the imps is so that he doesn’t get in trouble and for Blitz to reward him for saving them.

Again they could’ve had Stolas saving them and they could have had a heart to heart moment nope we had to toss all that emotional build up (if one can call it that) and toss it to the side for cheap jokes and a horny owl.

needless to say I was beyond disappointed with this episode and with the way they handle the “saddest” scene in the episode I am scared to see how they will handle the other scenes.

AGAIN I honestly don’t see why this episode took so long and I feel like Vivzie and her crew are more focus on the animation than anything else which sucks because this show has so much potential and it is being thrown to the side for pretty designs and shipping moments. 

Anywhore that’s my thought on this show let me know what you guys think ^^

~GoNEF out ^^

[artblogofanekophile]

Thank you so much for the tag, @jhoudiey!

This looked like a nice, simple enough thing to fill in (though knowing me I will needlessly complicate matters), so I decided to do this as a way to ease myself back into posting.

Firstly, here's the blank answers for ease of use:

Veggies VS Meat

Spicy food VS Non-spicy food

Sweet VS Salty

Noodles VS Rice

Mint VS No mint

Singing VS Dancing

Cold weather VS Hot weather

Dog VS Cat person

Big spoon VS Little spoon

Extrovert VS Introvert

Actions VS Words

Thin-skinned VS Thick-skinned

Movies VS Series

Comics VS Books

Good liar VS Bad liar

I believe the intention is to simply bold the answers... But because I'm extra, I'll be providing an explanation where I feel necessary. You may fill it in as you so please!

Without further adieu...

Neko

Veggies VS Meat

Miss Neko is a feline beastwoman, and cats are well-known to be obligate carnivores. However, in being a beastwoman, she also needs some form of a human diet as well. Her preference is absolutely meat, but she stopped begrudging the need to eat vegetables at about age nine.

Spicy food VS Non-spicy food

Cats are well known to have sensitive tongues, and Miss Neko is no exception! Anything more than mild spice and the poor thing will be sneaking ice-cubes out of the Mostro Lounge freezer for days!

Sweet VS Salty

She has a bit of a sweet tooth! Especially cake.

Noodles VS Rice

Rice is generally less messy, and there's nothing more irritating than ending up wearing most of your food, especially for a proud pedigree such as herself!

Mint VS No mint

I imagine mint will have the same effect on her as spice - it's less of a refreshing treat and more like a cold burn.

Singing VS Dancing

Miss Neko loves to sing! Whether she's good at it or not, well... That's up for her company to decide. Even then, it won't stop her.

Cold weather VS Hot weather

While she can manage the sun in small enough doses, Neko dislikes excessive heat. She learned the hard way to apply sun-lotion to the skin of her ears when she was but a kitten! The cold weather is so much more accommodating to her natural tendencies. Ah, a cushioned window-sill, a woolen sweater, a warm drink and the sound of the gentle rain hitting the window...

She could just... nod off right... there...

Dog VS Cat person

"Nya? Surely you jest! Can't you see from these adorrrable ears and this elegant tail that I am nothing less than a pedigree kitty? How silly~"

Big spoon VS Little spoon

Both! I was initially going to say it depends on who I ship her with, but even if she was dating one of the taller characters, I don't think she would shy away from curling in around them and purring against their shoulder to soothe them to sleep. Relationships are about give and take, after all!

Extrovert VS Introvert {It's... complicated}

I think that Miss Neko is an introvert that disguises herself as an extrovert. She displays a veneer of charm and natural charisma, putting forth the impression of a very confident person. However, her sense of bravado hides away a rather vulnerable side to herself, a part of her with insecurities and vulnerabilities that she doesn't want to readily share with just anyone.

Actions VS Words

Words can so often be empty. Actions, no matter how small, can say as much as a thousand words could. Although, if you wished to pair said actions with pretty words...

Thin-skinned VS Thick-skinned

I think it does depend somewhat on the situation, but I think that Neko doesn't allow things to pierce her very deeply unless they come from someone she holds in very high esteem. Working as a server in the Mostro Lounge has perhaps taught her how to let thoughtless words roll off her back... most of the time.

Movies VS Series

If you ask her to sit through much more than 90 minute movie, she might just doze off.

Comics VS Books

Both! Though she definitely gets through comics faster, unless the book she's reading is incredibly interesting.

Good liar VS Bad liar

A good liar to those who don't know her heart.

Persephone Amaryllis

Veggies VS Meat

Persephone finds it incredibly rewarding when meals are made using produce from her own garden! You can really taste the difference in quality.

Spicy food VS Non-spicy food

She's more adventurous with foods than others! She's always keen to try anything at least once. Kalim seemed delighted when she seemed to enjoy the dishes from his homeland despite the intensity of the spice. Even if a few others looked at her as though she'd grown a second head...

Sweet VS Salty

Sweet treats are great! Especially when you incorporate fruits and berries into a dessert.

Noodles VS Rice

Being someone who likes to work in the dirt when tending to plants, she doesn't really care much if she gets her clothes dirty from slurping noodles. Keeping her clothes spotless aren't a huge priority for her - stains just bring back fun memories.

Mint VS No mint

A little can go a long way, bringing a dish together to feel light yet fulfilling. Easy to overdo, however!

Singing VS Dancing

Being a rather animated person, she often has a lot of pent up energy! Who cares if you look silly, so long as you're having fun?

Cold weather VS Hot weather

Warm weather is Persephone's element. There's no better time to go for a long walk outside and take in the beauty of nature, wading through long grass, sitting in the shade of a tree, watching the gentle breeze sway the budding flowers to and fro. The soft caress of the sun as it cascades over your skin... what could be better than that?

Dog VS Cat person

Both animals are wonderful as far as Seph is concerned! They both have their own unique characteristics as a species that make them charming, though perhaps a dog might suit Persephone a bit more as a pet because dogs tend to match her energy more, and she could take a dog out on her adventures with her. Fancy getting a cat that isn't Neko into a harness!

Big spoon VS Little spoon

She has a protective and nurturing side to her as well. Sometimes all you need is someone to hold you close and be present with you in that moment. Seph may be a high-energy person, but she also knows when to mellow out and simply let a moment pass comfortably with peace. Nothing need be said, only felt. I'm here for you. I'm not going anywhere.

Extrovert VS Introvert

And extrovert, through and through! She has no qualms about going up and introducing herself with confidence and enthusiasm. Anything new, she will readily and cheerfully throw herself into it. She tends to be quite open and upfront about her positions and feelings on matters and people... there are few things that she feels the need to hide, but that's the same for everyone, isn't it? No one is entitled to her deepest secrets, it makes the version of her she shows to other people no less authentic.

Actions VS Words

Growing up, she learned that people liked to excuse their actions with words. She thinks it's best to let your actions and the way you treat others do the talking for you. Small gifts, body language, physical touch, small acts of service... That's her love language.

Thin-skinned VS Thick-skinned

There is nothing you could say to her that her mother or herself hasn't already. You'll have to try pretty hard or be pretty close to hurt Persephone Amaryllis.

Movies VS Series

Movies have so little time to really explore the world and characters! A series can offer more insight at a far less rushed pace than movies can, and you get so much more growth in a series than in a film. They feel more satisfying to Persephone.

Comics VS Books

There's just something so satisfying about the sound of a page turning, the scent of paper and ink, and a typewritten font...

Good liar VS Bad liar

Strict mothers make convincing liars.

Robin Redfearn

Veggies VS Meat

It takes both to make a wholesome, hearty meal!

Spicy food VS Non-spicy food

Robin is used to her grandmother's traditional cooking, where sadly the most spicy seasoning is probably pepper...

Sweet VS Salty

There's nothing like a nice trifle after dinner to hit the spot.

Noodles VS Rice

She prefers white rice because it soaks up the sauce in a dish, giving it more flavour.

Mint VS No mint

A little bit of mint is fine. Just not so intense that it makes her eyes water!

Singing VS Dancing

True to her namesake, Robin loves to sing and has quite a nice voice! She often sings while she does chores or schoolwork. If you make it known that you're listening, though, she'll trail off, turn red and quickly go back to her business but in silence.

Cold weather VS Hot weather

Many a winter night was spent cuddled up on her grandma's knee in front of the fireplace as it crackled and roared, the falling snow faint through the frosted windowpanes, the dog at her feet. Her grandmother's soft voice humming her a lullaby as she fought sleep but always eventually succumbed. These memories hold such a special place in her heart.

Dog VS Cat person

She's fond of dogs because of her grandmother's Scottish Terrier!

Also she's shipped with Jack, how can she not like dogs lol

Big spoon VS Little spoon

I don't think poor little Robin could be a big spoon if she tried... though the idea of her trying to spoon Jack is kind of hilarious. But no, I think that she would feel safe and content being in the arms of the person she loves, feeling his breath against the nape of her neck as his warmth envelops her. Lured into a secure, peaceful sleep, much like the roaring fireplace back home...

Extrovert VS Introvert

Robin is quite shy and timid at first, and while she does work on becoming more confident and assertive... she still can't quite manage to be as outspoken and energetic as Persephone. She likes smaller social gatherings, and if asked to attend larger ones, she generally sticks with a small, familiar group and tries to have a good time!

Actions VS Words

Both are necessary. Communication is an important part of any relationship. Telling someone she loves them, though nerve wracking to start, will eventually come to be as natural as breathing to her. She also shows love usually through cooking or baking. She'll purposefully make more than she needs to so she can give others what's left over, and omurice with a heart-shaped squirt of ketchup? You'd best believe it.

Thin-skinned VS Thick-skinned

Admittedly, she can be pretty easily discouraged and hurt. It's something that she knows is an issue and she's working on not taking things to heart so much. Easier said than done.

Movies VS Series

She doesn't really watch much TV. She gets more absorbed by books.

Comics VS Books

Having lived a rather sheltered life before she somehow ended up in NRC, she often found escapism in the form of fantasy books. Who would have thought that she would be walking amongst wizards and magicians, not unlike the ones in those childhood stories? Certainly not Robin!

Good liar VS Bad liar

Honestly if she had to lie she would probably just do it by omission or being very selective about the information she shares. Her grandmother had this look that always somehow managed to make a confession spill from her lips in mere moments... Sometimes Robin wonders if her Grandma might have been a magician...

This was fun, if not a bit long-winded... my apologies. I just get so into it! I hope it's not bothersome to read.

Tagging: @mopotatoes, @shadowwalker593, @goudsreblogzone, @junowritings, @kotobukicutie

And anybody else who would like to participate! To those I have tagged, please don't feel pressured to fill this out (certainly not in the amount of detail I went to) if you don't want to. I'm just interested to see what your answers are for your characters. If you're not comfortable sharing, that's totally fine. No pressure at all. <3

[xmanicpanicx]

Romanticized Things That Aren't Actually Romantic

1) The "shut up" kiss

It happens in more movies, TV shows, and novels than I can even count. One half of the couple (usually a woman or girl) will be talking, and the other person (usually a guy) will suddenly lay an ol’ sloppy one on her mouth. Often times, she’s rambling about her insecurities, so some people think it’s cute when he kisses her, symbolically laying her worries to rest. Don’t worry, hon! There’s nothing to be insecure about! He likes you! There are two big problems with this. The first is that when someone is speaking, you shouldn’t cut them off; best case scenario, it’s rude. Of course, people cut each other off all the time in conversation, so that’s different. But when a character interrupts another character’s speech to kiss them, they are essentially prioritizing their sexual desires over the other person’s need to express themselves. It’s an action that has an agenda. Everyone wants to be truly listened to when they speak. So if, for example, we have a female character babbling about her insecurities, the male character should hear her out, and then respond to what she says. There is plenty of romantic potential in words — even more than in kisses, in my opinion. His response could still be a kiss after she’s finished speaking (as long as it’s not a rattlesnake-strike type of kiss that doesn’t give her a choice). However, we still have another problem: the female character’s self-confidence shouldn’t be contingent upon the male character’s opinion of her. In other words, a kiss from a guy, no matter how much she loves him, will not and should not heal her negative perception of herself. Not healthy. Real people and characters should accept themselves on their own terms rather than on the approval of others.

Sometimes, the sudden kiss will come in the middle of a female character’s angry rant. The male character thinks she’s cute or sexy when she’s angry, which can be frustrating and patronizing for anyone who voices their anger because they want to be listened to and taken seriously. But regardless of why the character is talking, the other character should stop kissin’ and start listenin’.

2) Female double standards

Women and girls often feel really uncomfortable when men objectify them and make comments on their bodies, so they call these men out — and rightfully so. They also call male authors out for only describing women in terms of their bodies and giving them very little, if any, personality. Once again, rightfully so. Unfortunately, in real life and in literature, there is a double standard here. It’s one thing to write an erotic novel in which bodies of every gender are described in explicit detail and with an express purpose. But I’ve read novels without any sexual content that go into so much detail about guys’ looks. And these male characters are often not well-developed, either (think of the stereotypical jock with a hot bod and no brain). Authors — especially female authors, who are usually the ones perpetuating this — need to do better than this. If it's not okay to do that to girls, it's not okay to do that to guys, either. Also, what is up with that scene from The Notebook? The one where Rachel McAdams repeatedly slaps Ryan Gosling because he’s breaking up with her. How on Earth is that okay? The Notebook is widely considered to be a super-romantic movie, but there is nothing romantic about that scene, and it should be a deal-breaker for their relationship. If the tables were turned and Ryan Gosling slapped Rachel McAdams for breaking up with him, the entire plot of the movie would be different. It would be a thriller, a story about a woman trying to escape a scary ex. We would never root for the two of them to get back together.

3) Overly-metaphorical sex scenes

Cheese, cheese, and more cheese. Would you like some crust and tomato sauce with all that cheese? So many novels shy away from the anatomical details and favor metaphors for how the sex makes the characters (or just the narrating character) feel. In theory, there is nothing wrong with this, but I personally tend to roll my eyes more often than not at the actual execution. The narrator will say something too dramatic, like “our bodies became one and the universe opened up before me.” Or “and then we were flying, soaring with and through one another.” Or something else that is just… not sexy. As far as being poetic, there isn’t anything special about those phrases, either. There is nothing wrong with describing sex as it really is. I realize that novels featuring sex that are aimed at young adults probably cannot describe things too explicitly, but there’s no need to replace dirty details with flowery language. Go for whatever sincerity you can in the situation. There are plenty of different emotions to mine and sensual details leading up to the actual sex that read more thrillingly than the sex scene itself. 

4)  Instalove

It's simply not as much fun to see characters fall for each other right away. And how could they possibly fall for each other right away, anyhow? Is it all about looks? If so, both characters are instantly less likable because they're shallow. And that's not real love, either. You need to actually know someone in order to feel a such a deep emotion for them.

It's also important to note that making the characters "love" each other at the outset of the story does not heighten the emotional stakes. It actually cheapens them. Because how can we take this so-called love seriously when we don't get to know, don't get to care about, the characters as individual people before they fall for each other?

Now, if we get to know each character and watch them get to know each other, and slowly fall for each other, that's much more rewarding.  It's character growth, and it's a whole process that we, as readers, get to experience vicariously though them.

This may just be a personal preference, but I think it's best to even avoid phrases like “my heartbeat skipped” or “my skin tingled when our hands brushed” in the beginning stages of the story. Even though the declarations of love and outright displays off affection may come later on, statements like these reveal instant attraction, which still isn't as rewarding as attraction that grows over time and through events.

5) Love interests being obsessed with each other

From approximately 2005-2015, YA literature saw a horde of books featuring teenage girls and boys who are everything to each other. I almost mean that literally. The first really popular book like this was Twilight, but it had a huge influence on everything in YA that came after, especially YA fantasy. How romantic, some people think, that hero lives for the heroine! And vice versa! Perfect! Meant to be! Everyone wishes they could have that one, true, perfect love! 

Listen. Go back to Britney Spears’s first album and play the song “Born to Make You Happy”: ”I don’t know how to live without your love, I was born to make you happy.” Solid 90s bubblegum pop, but with unhealthy lyrics. An unhealthy mentality. Most of us are familiar with that heady, all-consuming feeling of falling in love, how it feels like that’s the best and happiest part of life as it’s happening. There’s nothing wrong with portraying that. It’s relatable. The glorification of it beyond all else is the problem. The hero and heroine have scares throughout the story during which they almost lose each other, and that brings to light just how strongly they feel each other, to the extreme that nothing matters except each other. Then, of course, they ultimately end up together, happily ever after, never having to part again. But in real life, people break up, or sometimes even die. People have no choice but to be apart from the person they loved so much from then on. And it’s devastating, but it’s not the end, even if it sometimes feels like it. That’s why it’s so important for books to give some indicator that there are other things that matter besides (and dare I say even more than) the one person the hero/heroine is in love with. The characters have to have some sense of self-love or resilience. They have to have other people they care about, or at least values/principles and goals. They have to be an actual person, not just a vessel filled to the brim with love for just one other person. Romanticizing a co-dependent relationship can be hope-crushing message, especially for teenagers who haven’t had enough time to grow, to weather the storm of life and toughen up and become wiser and more self-aware and self-confident. 

7) The super dominant male love interest 

Okay, I’m not trying to kink-shame anyone because I know there are people who absolutely love this trope. I want to say it’s fine, as long as it remains in Tropeland. But even if women want to keep these love interests solely within their fantasies, I do worry about the message it sends to men, if it makes them think that they can be abusive douchebags because women are into that. I already know of far too many men who think that women are only into assholes. 

Personally, I’ll never understand the appeal of a man, fictional or otherwise, who dictates what a woman should wear, her food choices, where they go and what they do for dates ALL THE TIME. And jealousy! Sure, jealousy indicates that someone cares, and it’s a normal human emotion, but I’ll never understand the appeal of a guy who gets so jealous, he won’t allow his girlfriend any freedom. I’ll never understand how cruel, disparaging words could ever be on the same sexiness level as dirty talk. And I really, really will never understand how a man physically harming a woman could be considered sexy. It’s weak and cowardly, hurting someone who doesn’t stand a chance of fighting back because they’re nowhere near as strong.

I get the appeal of a guy who sees a woman as his equal and isn’t afraid to spar with her, challenge her, and maybe even be a little bit rough with her, knowing that she can handle it. I see the appeal of a confident man who isn’t afraid to tell a woman what he wants. When his presence becomes legitimately threatening and completely selfish, that’s when I personally see a problem. But hey, to each their own.

[pebblysand]

It’s me again! You gave such a thorough reply that I wanted to first say thank you and second elaborate on devastating and maybe also expound on why i love castles so much.

So honestly what i most appreciate in post-dh hp fanfics is the exploration of what happens after the war- particularly the trauma and healing process. I’ll be frank in that I’m probably projecting my own mental health issues but that’s neither here nor there.

Castles strikes me as particularly interesting and unique because it delves into Ginny’s trauma from the war as much as Harry’s. Very often in other post-dh fics we see that Ginny is the stable one, she is Harry’s anchor, they show her understanding and forgiving him without question. Which I understand and love but your fic sheds a new light on other possibilities. When I say devastating i mean the internal turmoil, the truth that recovery and healing and growth are agonizing processes. (This is me projecting again, that last three years have been A Lot). And i really appreciate that, personally and narratively. The ordeal of healing and healing alongside people you love and at the same time hurting and being hurt by those same people, and the harsh reality that none of this is linear is something that I just find so compelling in your writing.

Man that’s the most coherent I’ve been in a review in AGES - not just feral screaming. Needless to say, I am very very excited for your update and I will literally wait however long it takes, because you can’t rush genius.

Aw thank you so much for your kind words. I'm glad this fic is resonating with you. This is going to be long, so buckle up under the cut.

Thanks again for what you've said, I truly appreciate it. Without blowing my own horn too much, I will say that castles does seem to "speak" in that way to a lot of people in terms of trauma and healing, which as a writer is immensely flattering. I think as authors, all we ever want to do (or at least all I've ever wanted to do) is to write things that are faithful to human emotions and human experiences (as Sally Rooney puts it, we want to write books about "people"). When we get that right that's honestly the most rewarding thing in the world.

To tell you the truth, though, I never really set out to write about that. To give you a little bit of backstory on Castles, it's a story that's been more of less brewing in my head since I was 14 years old, which is when DH came out. I remember sitting there at the end of it and even then I couldn't stop thinking about the 'what now?' question. Obviously there is the epilogue (and I will come back to that in a bit) but I always had a question mark drawn on the direct aftermath of the battle. I think most HP fans have their own little corner of obsession, right? Like, some people are obsessed with Marauders, some with Next-Gen, some with the Death Eater side of the fight. The Post-War world has always been mine.

I believe that the reason for that, as much as I hate to admit it, is that as humans, when something bad happens to us, we have a very easy way out: death. I'm obviously not trying to encourage anyone out here to kill themselves and if anyone who reads this is having thoughts along this line, please seek help, but the truth of the matter is that in the human experience, death is always a possibility. We could choose it, embrace it, and end our own suffering. Yet, like Harry at the end of DH, most of us don't. For the most part, we tend to hang onto to life. Because, truth be told, it's full and wonderful and deserves to be lived, despite the fact that, objectively speaking, it's bloody hard. And, as a writer, that's the space I want to be in. I want to understand and describe why we make that choice, every day, to get up and carry on, rather than giving up. I find that absolutely fascinating. I'm not a writer for the sensational stuff (some people do that much better than me), I want to write the quiet and the silence and the dirt and the blood that's dried and the grief and the powering through and the not giving up. To me, choosing life despite trauma is the epitome of bravery which, as a Gryffindor, is probably the character trait I value most in people.

Obviously, from a narrative perspective, this interest of mine lands itself to a post-war exploration very well. There's an old interview of JKR where she says she insisted on the epilogue being included at the end of book seven (even though she knew it was going to piss people off) because she wanted to show that they made it through. That, as I put it in Castles, 'They lived, for better or for worse.' And, in that interview, she talks more specifically about soldiers and PTSD, and says that 'getting over that kind of war, that's the hard part.' I remember watching that interview and thinking: yes, exactly. And, that's the thing about the epilogue. It's not so much about the content of it, the who-ends-up-with-who rather than the symbolism of it. It's not only about the fact that they fought in a war and won it, it's about the fact that they fought another war afterwards, a quiet one with the world they were trying to rebuild, along with rebuilding themselves, and they won that one, too. It's about showing that bravery isn't always this sparkling, flashy thing. It's also overcoming the silences and the grief and the struggles and making it to the other side.

And, so, yeah, I suppose that leads me to write about trauma. Although that isn't the initial endeavour, it's certainly part of it. And as you pointed out yourself, that road is full of ups and downs because "living" is fucking fantastic, but it's also fucking hard. I find the phrasing you used about Ginny typically being the "stable" one in other fics particularly interesting. I'd never thought about it that way, but I see what you mean. And, the thing with Castles is: none of them (and I mean H & G but also Ron, Hermione - hell even Kingsley) are particularly stable or unstable. To me, they just are. They exist and they live and they try to put one foot in front of the next the best way they can, with very little sense of plan or strategy. They sort of make do, which to me is the only realistic way I can envision the post-war world. They're kids who've just lived through the apocalypse. It's unrealistic to me that any of them would hold all of the answers, or even come close to having their shit together.

To me, it was and is very important to show all sides of that spectrum. Although they likely all wouldn't have suffered from acute PTSD, they would certainly all have struggled with something. Not everyone deals with everything the same way, and I want to show feelings of guilt, and bravery, and confusion, and fear, and determination which are all as unique as the individuals who experience them. I also wanted to show that not everything has a clear-cut explanation for it. For example, when Ginny breaks up with Harry in chap3, she says some truly horrible things. But, what she does say is also the one percent of everything that lies under the surface. She says she breaks up with him for Reason A but it's actually Reason A. 1, A.2, B, C, D, etc. Because, truth be told, that is what happens in life. People rarely give you a neat little list of all the reasons they do something, especially if, again, they've just lived through something huge. Often, you only truly find out the real reasons for people's actions months later, and often, that's because they themselves don't even know, haven't made sense of it in their heads. So, of course, I think it's incredibly important to write all of them as going through something, because to me anything else would be deeply unrealistic.

And, truth be told, I've thought about this extensively every time I've re-read the books in the past. Throughout the years, I started countless drafts on this topic, which I often gave up and left unfinished, until now. I think what motivated me this time is honestly the pandemic. I re-read the books during the first lockdown, then set out to find The Perfect Fanfiction which would deal with all of that. I'd never been in the Potter fandom before and thought to myself: 'there's like a million fics in that fandom, someone must have written this.' And, to this day, I still sort of believe that? Like, I've had a lot of comments in the past year telling me that they like or dislike Castles because it has a unique "tone" and a unique "mood" as well as themes but I'm always like "really? someone else must have written this," haha. But, despite spending a lot of time looking, I never found it so I suppose that's when I decided to write it, haha.

And, here we are, lol.

[boondogglerbean]

Why Your Fave Is Problematic: Dead Poets Society (1989)

Dead Poets Society is one of my favourite movies. There are so many things about this film that I love and that make it so special to me. Nonetheless, I have my issues with it. For one it’s full of white rich milk bois who attend a private school. The story is set in the 50s, so I guess we can cut them some slack in this department, although we should acknowledge that the ensemble is not exactly diverse and doesn’t do anything for the visibility of poc. Another aspect that I certainly didn’t appreciate was the romantic storyline of Knox Overstreet and Chris Noel.

When I first read the book and Knox started crushing on Chris I thought it was cute. It’s silly since Knox had met her once when he told the boys about Chris but he’s a stupid romantic teen who said two words to a girl he found attractive and now daydreams having a family with. It’s still endearing when he’s standing nervously next to the phone, trying to build up the courage to call her because he can’t get her out of his head. He decides fuck it, carpe diem and he’s so excited when he finds out that she wanted to call him too and even though you can guess how the party’s gonna play out and picture a disappointed Knox standing in the kitchen corner, you can’t help but see something of yourself in this hopeless romantic, feel his hope and euphoria. And then the party happens. And Knox does everything he could possibly do wrong. Kissing or touching Chris (depending on film or book) without her consent is sexual harrassment. It’s absolutely inappropriate behaviour. And while I don’t approve of Chet getting violent (who is a straight up douchebag and treats Chris more like his property than her own person) I think Chris should’ve gotten more outraged or at least made it clear that what Knox did was disgusting and wrong. But Knox keeps obsessing over her and even shows up in her school where he, upon meeting Chris, ignores her wish to leave her alone and proceeds to humiliate the girl he’s oh so in love with (keep in mind he’s barely spoken to Chris and met her twice up until that point) in front of her class. And he’s rewarded for it afterwards, by his friends giving him kudos and eventually Chris showing up at Welton. Every single point she makes on why Knox can’t be in love with her and how his obsession takes on unhealthy dimensions is valid - and they are simply dismissed by Knox’ charm and persistence.

The problem is not really Knox’ behaviour. It’s problematic, yes, but characters are allowed to be flawed, they are allowed to be problematic - how can you tell a compelling story without character growth? The issue is that the story doesn’t acknowledge the fact that Knox’ behaviour is disgusting and inappropriate. At no point in the film does someone point out that what he did was overstepping boundaries and harassing a girl. He’s side-eyed for confessing his feelings in class but that just puts him in the position of a misunderstood character. And in the end the story even rewards him with getting the girl, thus supporting his decisions and actions and seeing nothing wrong with it. Young boys watch this and think this is how you treat a person you’re interested in. Young girls watch this and think this is how you’re supposed to be treated by someone who’s interested in you. The film depicts an unhealthy idea of romance and makes it out to be something you should aspire to have.

This storyline doesn’t keep me from enjoying the film though. I don’t like it, I don’t approve of it and I don’t allow it to taint everything else the film has to offer. And while most people watching Dead Poets Society are aware of the issue of Knox’ and Chris’ romance, I wanted to put this out there to make sure that we remember this film has its flaws. And that’s alright. No film, no tv show, no piece of writing or art has ever been objectively and in every sense perfect. It’s still a product of human work and imagination. And it’s still beautiful but we must acknowledge the stains that often become more apparent with time and progress.

[syncogon]

[QZGS TL] Butterfly Blue 2019 Ye Xiu Birthday Interview

For Ye Xiu’s birthday on 05/29/2019, Butterfly Blue did an interview with thepaper.cn (澎湃新闻). You can read the Chinese here: https://card.weibo.com/article/m/show/id/2309351002454377326526805418?_wb_client_=1

I’ve translated most of it below. I omitted some questions that I felt weren’t super relevant, such as the progress of the live action (since it’s already out now), and some of his other works.

As always, let me know of any major errors! Past translations that I’ve done of BB’s words may be found /tagged/bb-interview.

***

Q: Ye Xiu’s birthday is coming up, is there anything you’d like to say to him?

A: Happy birthday, you not-old youth. 

Q: Asking on behalf of many fans, why don’t you establish a pairing for Ye Xiu?

A: Glory is his official pairing.

Q: Where did the inspiration for Ye Xiu’s character come from?

A: Michael Jordan was an inspiration, the idea of “even after retiring I can still do this.” I’ve actually always been following basketball and soccer, first through newspaper, and then through blogs and media. I’ve accumulated a lot, and when I was writing The King’s Avatar I used all of it. Many people have asked me if I know a lot about esports, but in reality I know less about esports. More inspiration came from sports that were more developed. I drew on real sports and esports, and at the time I even watched many Chinese Go competitions.

Q: Ye Xiu has many female fans, because his personality is quite different from many classic male webnovel protagonists.

A: It’s because his character setup is different, he’s not some lowly noob. Even though he’s 25 at the start of the novel, which sounds young, in reality his mental age is much higher than his actual age when it comes to his professional resume. He’s calm and stable, because he knows that he’s already at the top of this profession. It’s like if you took a professional soccer or basketball player and put them into a high school league, they’d feel no pressure at all. In general, that’s what being in-game is like to him. Later on when he’s playing matches, he still has that confidence, because he has strength, and he has already proven this strength. 

Q: Why didn’t you add a romantic storyline to The King’s Avatar?

A: It might have to do with personal views. In particular, female writers when writing esports might include a romantic storyline, romance above all else, anything can change for the sake of love, etc., but I don’t really agree with those kinds of views. When I write love, even though it’s important, it’s not the most important, and many things can surpass it. So when the career storyline becomes the main storyline, it doesn’t really matter whether love is present or not. It can be a helping thing, but it won’t be the main focus when I’m writing. I hope to write a relatively pure story. You can fall in love, but it can’t interfere with your profession. 

Q: I’m actually somewhat curious, have you watched Love O2O? 

A: I have. When I first wrote about gaming, there were three main types. One type was where it became more romance-focused as it developed, and the focus was not on gaming but on falling in love. Another type was alternate world [i.e. isekai], the type where you enter the world of the game. Then, the third type was esports. My earlier books were only focused on playing games, and it was very cut off from reality. Whatever results you had in-game, they couldn’t really help you in real life. Gaming was just a pastime. But esports is different, esports is a profession. The King’s Avatar is like this.

Q: How do you feel now that The King’s Avatar has gotten so popular? 

A: It’s nice not having to work. Actually, we writers all were writing right as this profession was developing. The webnovel profession was developing really quickly, and we reaped the rewards of being a part of this emerging industry just as it was experiencing explosive growth. Because this was the early days of this new industry, many people had tremendous gains. We joined at just the right time - this is luck. You have to enter this industry, and then if you persist, you will most likely profit. 

Q: In The King’s Avatar, are there any shadows of your real self in there?

A: Not really, to be honest. I play games myself, the first time I really got into them was in college. But at that time, I wasn’t in so deep that I’d be helping guilds or anything, I wasn’t that sociable. The game I played was called Westward Journey (大话西游), and I was basically still in the stage of treating it as a chat room. Very different from mobile games now, where you have to join a WeChat group or QQ group as soon as you enter, otherwise you’ll get wiped out.

Q: What are you aiming for now?

A: Accuracy, the accuracy of my words and sentences is what I’m aiming for. When there’s something I want to express, I want to be able to find an idiom, a phrase, to accurately express it. Funny or not funny, I’ll let it come naturally, I don’t need to purposely try to build a moment to make people laugh, I don’t need to purposely edit in an online segment just for that purpose anymore. In the past I might have done this, but this is the difference between my past and current self. It’s not that my style has changed, it’s that I realized that that’s useless work, it’s putting the cart before the horse. 

Q: Now that you already have God Ye Xiu as such an iconic character, how will you surpass that?

A: Ye Xiu will always be 25-26 years old, and now it’s really been a while since I’ve written him, so I’m a little distant. Now, I’m already 35-36. I feel that I’ve already written enough about Ye Xiu. If I were to write more, there’s really nothing more I could write. For pro esports players, continuously playing matches is enough, but for me there isn’t much meaning anymore. It’s all repetitive, and there isn’t going to be any big turning points. I still want to find some new material. 

Q: How do you feel about your position right now? If you could use a few keywords to describe your current life, which words would you choose?

A: Stable, everything’s revolving around stability.

Q: Do you think it’s more important for life to be interesting or for life to have meaning?

A: What meaning. I’m one of those people who, since I was young, was very worried about dying. I actually discussed this with Mao Ni [t/n: another webnovel author], and we talked about ghosts in hotels and whatnot. I actually really want to meet a ghost, I think that if I met a ghost I would be very at ease, because if I knew that we become another kind of existence after dying, then there’d be no need to be so afraid.

Q: Many people online say that, looking at Bug Dad’s words you can tell he’s quite a good person. Is there anything you’d like to say to that?

A: They have sharp eyes, it’s irrefutable.

Q: It seems like there’s some story about you circulating online, that you always like to pay the bill.

A: No, that’s just politeness, we’re adults, we have to refuse each other, you know? But in the end none of them took out their wallets.

Q: Is Bug Dad normally a cold and distant person?

A: I’m alright, but it’s true I don’t speak much.

Q: Why do you have the nickname of “goddess”?

A: Because of my pen name, people think that I’m a female author, and people admire me!

Q: If you write too much and become bald, then what?

A: I’m already balding. [t/n: BB commented in his Weibo retweet of this interview that the picture of him that they used is old; he has much less hair now]

Q: If your daughter wanted to play esports in the future, would you support her?

A: Yes.

Q: Why did you choose to grow your hair long? Is it because you don’t have time to have it cut?

A: Because there’s no need, after all there’s not many strands left.

Q: Is there anything you want to say to the fans?

A: Whether or not you’re a female or male reader, I am incredibly grateful for everyone who likes my works.

[fanfictionloveletters]

Little Achievements by almaasi (DS9, Bashir/Garak)

Title: Little Achievements

Author: Almaasi

Fandom: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

Word Count:  7,792

Ship: Julian Bashir/Elim Garak   

Love Letter: 

I have never read anything by @almaasi anything from the Deep Space Nine fandom. This is, of course, going to be an on again off again theme as I write these love letters. It’s almost like trying out a new resturant and coming back as a regualr. I came back to this fic several times after I first read it back in October 2020.

The first half of the fic truly captures what it is to attempt to have a serious conversation with your partner without invoking airplane mode--if such a thing is to be had on a coms in space. Bashir attemps to express some of the highs and lows of an award ceremony to his partner Garak--an award ceremony Garak choose not to attend. I find myself catching second hand frustration at the constant interruption--can’t you see this couple is trying to navigate something important?!

But really, I, like Bashir, suffer from an anxiety inducing need to be ‘productive.’ This paired with an extremely demanding job and an abusive childhood....well, 

“Even after years,” Julian went on. “Everything in my life taught me I’m only worth the air I breathe if I do something useful with my time and have the credentials to prove it.

So, I needed to hear these specific lines from this story:

As I’ve said... the simplest things can be their own rewards. You only need to impress yourself.”

[..]

Achieve nothing. Yet appreciate everything.”

[...]

The important things in my life are what I value and what makes me feel fulfilled. Even if they’re tiny, everyday things. Or even if they’re not measurable. They’re meaningful to me.

Ah there is so much more, but I have cut down because really, please go read the fic. @almaasi​ truly quantifes the need to be able to find happiness in the smallest things that make you happy. Say for example...running a small sideblog to gush over the words other people have written to remind them that what they do is meaningful.

My partner (because apprently the my parner paragraph is going to be a reoccuring theme as well) introduced me to Star Trek: Deep Space Nine MANY years ago when Netflix just started streaming. Now, I knew Star Trek: Next Generation, but I hadn’t watched any of the shows that came after at the time. They warned me that it deviated heavily from the formula of Star Trek, but that I would love it. He sold me on the concept of each character being two extremes trying to live in the same body, and @almaasi captures this beautify in this fic.  Garak and Bashir both wanting to say things, but it conflicting with their very natures makes for some of the most tender moments in the fic. @almaasi showcases the understanding between partners cultivated through decades of being together. The little Kardaisan quirk of subtlety and implying clashing with some human lack of awareness is at time comedic gold in the story, but Garak is able to see straight through to Bashir’s parental and self value issues and offer him the tools to try free himself of these issues. The growth from where the show leaves these characters is balanced perfectly, so thre is never a moment where you feel like the characters are behaving out of character. 

If you need one more thing to sell you on this story, even if you are outside of the fanbase,there is also a YouTube Radio Play with the actors reprising their roles. Usually, within a fanbase you get a fan made audio book or podcast, but how many can claim that the actors cosigned the fic by performing a scripted version? If that isn’t a mark of quality, I don’t know what is. I highly recommend replaying the 16:35 eyes closed, head shaking, ‘Why aren’t you here?’ a few times it’s devestating....). 

If you’ve enjoyed this fanfiction love letter, please feel free to reblog so that others might enjoy the talents of our fan communities. If you have read this fic and would like to share why you love it, please go to to their story to ensure they see your praise and appreciation. And of course, if this fanfiction love letter inspired you to read this fic, I’d love to know. Feel free to recommend any fic that you feel I might like or that needs a love letter.

[carriagelamp]

February 2020 Book Review

The Last Wish / Sword Of Destiny

Let’s start with the books that currently have me in a stranglehold. I apologize to everyone that actually follows me and watched me descend into fandom pits but whatcha gonna do. So, I was aware of the video game when it came out, but not being a prolific gamer I was intrigued but never bothered getting into it. Then the Netflix series came out, and I was again intrigued... but I suck at sitting down and watching shows. So what the heck I decided, it’s probably mediocre hypermasculine high fantasy but let’s try a book to see what the fuss is all about.

Good god. Guys. It’s real good. And so fucking different from the show. Geralt is actually a really emotional, well-meaning guy who’s starved for positive social interactions and is just trying to do his best. And the books’ consistent themes of colonialism, environmental destruction, forced extinction, and changing eras is... chilling and fascinating and honestly a little too relatable at times. These books have made me laugh and shout and frankly sob. Still a little sexist, cause 90s fantasy, but Geralt is so not the gruff, heartless, manly man character I thought he would be. I am so deeply into these and have just cracked the spine of the next book in the series. If you like high fantasy, I can’t recommend these enough.

The Silver Eyes

I just learnt that there were Five Nights At Freddy’s books, and honestly picked this up from the library as a joke for my brother. We’d played the games back when they first came out, and were into the lore, but lbr they’re more of a meme at this point. Anyway, we ended up reading this out loud to each other, a chapter a night, and I enjoyed it a lot more than I thought I would. Probably wouldn’t have liked it as much on my own, but the main character was complicated and messy, and the book’s way or portraying trauma was neat. It was nominally horror, and did have the occasional chilling moment, or times it was fun to speculate, it over all it was pretty run of the mill middle grade fiction.

FRNK

Probably the best graphic novel I’ve read this month. 

I was howling with laughter while I read it. Good quality Belgium comics, always a treat. This story is about a modern day boy, Frank, who is accidentally thrown back into prehistoric times, where he’s stuck with a bunch of cavemen who haven’t invented the concept of vowels yet. Admittedly my French isn’t great, so it made trying to decipher words with half the letters missing a challenge to say the least, but plenty worth it. I really want to get my hands on book two. I believe there’s an English translation, and I’d recommend giving it a try.

Best Friends

A neat little graphic novel that addresses common growing up issues, about what it means to be friends, stay friends, how to cope with people changing and when it’s time to walk away. Anxiety, being yourself, fitting in, all that sort of stuff. It’s a quick read, very pleasant, and has nice art.

Karen’s Witch

Another cute graphic novel with charming art. I read this at the store while I was waiting for a prescription to be filled. It’s about this five year old (or thereabouts) who is absolutely determined that her neighbour is a witch and by god she is going to prove it or at least scare herself and her friend silly in the process. A fun little read!

Endling: The First

The second book in the Endling series, and all my praise for the first book apply here as well. A super unique high fantasy that gives extinct and threatened species a voice. The book explore themes of war, environmental destruction, sacrifice and loss. You really get to see how much Byx has grown and how much she needs to continue to grow. This book has me so excited for the third, I haven’t read such an emotionally rewarding quest novel in a long time.

Bleach

I found out my library has a billion books of this series and decided to jump into it again for the first time in over a decade. Honestly it’s even better than I remembered? The art is absolutely stunning, Ichigo is such a power fantasy hero, and it’s one of those series with a lot of really loveable characters and a lot of heart. Ichigo is a good guy who you actually feel good liking, which can’t be said for all shonen protags by any means. This is just such a classic and it holds up man. And if you like manga and have never read it? Jump in and enjoy a normal human getting supernatural powers and kicking absolutely enormous monsters’ asses.

Dinotopia: Sabertooth Mountain

This was my favourite Dinotopia book as a kid, and it was still fun to reread. The world of Dinotopia is one separate from the rest of the world, where humanity lives in perfect harmony with many prehistoric creatures that have managed to survive and evolve on the island of Dinotopia. This story is about a crisis brewing, as the sabertooths are cut off from their food supply and are in danger of not only starving but of bringing death to the rest of the mountain as well. While surveying the situation with his older sister, the main character finds himself falling from the airship in the middle of a storm, directly into the valley of starving sabertooths.

I read a bunch of this author’s graphic novels, and they are such feel-good queer lit. This was probably my favourite of the lot, but I also read Tea Dragon Society, Aquicorn Cove, and Princess Princess Ever After. Taking place in a picturesque mountain community, it’s about a girl meeting a guardian dragon who accidentally fell asleep in the mountains a century ago rather than watch over the village like intended. It’s about coming to terms with and loving yourself (and also about super cute little tea dragons).

Just Jaime

Another story that focuses on the complications of middle school, and how friends can grow and change, and when sometimes friendships become toxic and cruel. These are novel/graphic novel hybrids that are very visually appealing, and really do manage to tell very heartfelt stories. This one takes a side character from the earlier two books, and turns her from a very one dimensional, somewhat annoying character, into a fully realized person with her own issues and her own need for growth.

The Life-Changing Magic Of Tidying Up / The Life-Changing Manga Of Tidying Up

Given that I’m not really a non-fiction person and DEFINITELY not a self-help book person, I really enjoyed these (though I didn’t read Spark Joy). I read the manga first, out of curiosity, but enough of it struck true that I decided to try the book as well. Have I cleaned anything up yet? No. But honestly, I can genuinely say that despite being repetitive at points I do truly feel like I got a lot of good out of it, and I feel much more excited and prepared when I do decide to do a big clean next. It really does reframe the relationship you have with your belongings and with yourself. I genuinely love the concept of “sparking joy”.

Bigfoot Boy: The Sound Of Thunder

Technically the last book of the series, whoops. Though honestly having read it I didn’t feel like I missed that much. It’s a Canadian graphic novel and I had... mixed feelings about it. Interesting and exciting in some ways, but the pacing was odd, and honestly I don’t think indigenous voices went into making it (I could be wrong but...) and it reads as kinda... eugh. Problematic. Having a none indigenous author write about a white boy being the guardian of a first nation totem and turning into a bigfoot isn’t a super cool optic.

Bloodchild

I was told “hey this is a really fucked up short story” so I read it, and guess what? It was a really fucked up short story. Would recommend if you want weird alien sex slavery bullshit-- it was a wild ride. And the overall themes obviously went a lot deeper than that, but honestly, it’s like a few dozen pages long if you wanna dig into all the philosophical shit, just give it a read! Uh, heavy content warning, tw tw tw, but a really bizarre, unsettling look at gender and power dynamics and oppression through a scifi lens.

Mrs Frisby and the Rats of NIHM

I hadn’t read this book since elementary school so I reread it on a whim. It really is such a charming story. As far as animal stories go, this feels almost like the platonic ideal. Mother mouse is worried about her sick son and winds up compelled to seek out the mysterious rats who live in the rosebush for help, and is not only thrust into her own adventure but learns about the strange past her late husband shared with the rats of NIMH. It’s such a relaxing read, while still managing to be exciting and compelling.

Exploring According to Og the Frog

And one last animal story to round us off. I’d read one of the Humphrey books last month, and check out a couple more from the library for fun. I didn’t enjoy Mysteries According to Humphrey that much, but this one was charming, showing the world through Humphrey’s frog friend Og instead. The same charming type of adventure, but being a frog, Og has a very different attitude and view of the world, which was fun. Very cute elementary kid lit.

[justhereforseverus]

A Rose by Any Other Name would Smell as Sweet

Chapter 8: Love is a smoke raised with the fume of sighs

Summary:

Finally, tea time with Severus. During all this, the protagonist realises she's fallen for him.

Notes:

This might be a bit emotional and messy but heeeeey those are the days. Thank you so much for reading, your kudos and comments!<3

I always wonder what Snape's favourite book would be...

Chapter Text

To say I was nervous was a massive understatement. Sure, we got closer during the last weeks due to his involvement in the drama group but apart from that we didn’t spend much time together alone. And to bring him into my quarters felt… like something else. Yet, I know myself only too well. I’ve grown rather attached to that mysterious man. I’ve  caught myself staring more than once at him, simply watching how he moved with the ever presence of elegance and utmost concentration. His long black hair assists him in his dramatic turns and movements and I’ve found myself utterly fascinated. I only hoped I didn’t pretend, overinterpreted, overanalysed signs that were not there. Because when it comes to hard evidence, I only have his offer to work with me, what he shared about his life and work, almost hidden smiles and his hand softly squeezing mine on stage. That could mean everything and nothing. In the end, he could simply be polite while feeling repulsed by me.

Nevertheless, we’ve arrived at the Ravenclaw tower together. Thankfully, Ravenclaw staff don’t have to solve the riddles but gets a note with their solutions every morning. Because as much as I’m glad I was sorted here, gosh these riddles are annoying. I’ve never been good at solving them, so I’d always feel utterly unworthy to belong in this house. While entering Severus said: “I always found the riddles rather amusing but I’m not sure if they actually prove any intelligence at all.”

“I hope so. Otherwise, I probably don’t belong here. I find them often quite stupid and exhausting. Every time, I overthink the words too much and feel like an idiot when the solution is plain simple.”

“That is indeed brave to say as a Ravenclaw. Maybe I should send Flitwick a note.” - he said in jest.

“Don’t you dare! Oh, here we are. These are my quarters. Don’t expect anything too grand and it’s certainly not as tidied up as I wanted to.”

I did mean that but I’ve also tidied the whole room for about 3 hours the night before…

“In my experience, this is most often said by people who actually have made an effort to clean everything.” – he said while stepping inside and taking a look around.

“Ok, ok Mr Mindread. I take that still as a compliment to my household skills though”

He chuckled and followed me deeper into the room. My office consists mainly of bookshelves that cover every wall. In the middle was an old and big desk made of oakwood with a set of chairs on the one side and a huge leather chair on the other. The roof was the same as everywhere in the towers: an enchanted roof with a blue and starry night sky. I stepped to the wall on the left and said my password while moving my wand casting a recognition spell. The bookshelf opened up on one side, revealing stairs towards my private living quarters. They consisted of a living room, bedroom, and a small open kitchen. Here, too were book shelves everywhere and pile of books laying around. Attached to the living room was a tiny balcony with a beautiful view over Hogwarts grounds.

I invited him to follow me in my living room and told him to sit on the couch while I was brewing some tea. He sat there looking around but after a while went to the balcony to look outside. While looking he said: “A wonderful view. I always forget how small but comfortable the Ravenclaw quarters are with their balconies. Certainly a difference to the dungeon. The roof should give you much comfort though. Weird how you still long for more stars at night.”

“Well, yes it’s magnificent. However, the real stars are something else and I also just like sitting and walking around in the gardens.”

He returned to the couch and looked closely at a pile of books put on the table in front of him. After asking with a small “May I” he picked up a book from the pile on my table and looked absentmindedly through it. This felt unreal. He on my couch. The most unsocial and mean teacher at Hogwarts being so quiet and polite.

After putting the tea on the table with two glass cups, I sat beside him and said: “And what do you think of the book?”

“Jane Eyre. Interesting. I appreciate the growth of the character but in the beginning, she was quite a nuisance.”

“So, you’d rather be strict and violent as the pastor was?”

“Well, I don’t agree with his morals but I do agree with the strictness. Students are incompetent.”

“They’re just children. They do stupid things. They don’t want to study but have fun. Were you the perfect student back in the days?”

Here he paused for a bit in thought before saying: “Officially, I never broke any rules. Sometimes I had the intention but was disrupted or changed my mind. However, yes, I have to admit, I disagreed with my teachers but more in private. Slughorn was a rather incompetent potion maker. He was more interested in collecting names than grades. He and Minerva also protected students that broke the school rules many more times than I could count. I’ll never forget that from the oh-so-brave Gryffindor house. Especially, as they are always quick to stop me doing the same favouritism they’ve been practicing for more than a decade”

“I guess Slytherin and Gryffindor have a long tradition of hating each other. In general, I have the feeling that Hogwarts is not really interested in an anti-mobbing agenda.”

“That never was the case. You give up after 11 years of teaching here and even more after knowing how it is to be a student. And I admit, this might include my harsh teaching methods.”

“So you feel regret? Why not change?”

“I don't know... No, I don't feel much regret. Someone needs to be the villain here.”

“How can you say that when you know it’s wrong?”

He sighed and looked sternly at the teacup in his hand: “Maybe I’m just an asshole. Not that this is an excuse. I expect perfection because I try to show perfection in everything I do and I may say, I often achieve it. On the other hand, maybe I’ve just given up after years of seeing incompetence rewarded, privilege favoured, voices ignored and change rarely happening. So, I play the role that they’ve made me out to be because it fits. I know I’m responsible for some emotional scarring. But be assured I’d protect every student with my life when it should come to that, independent of their houses or standing. I’m not a good person (y/n), as you know, and I certainly don’t feel the need to justify myself to anyone.”

“I know, you don’t have to. I don’t want you to. I don’t want to reform you. I just want to get to know you better because that’s what I want to do and I feel like we have a common passion. Despite all this you’re here and at least show self-awareness. And I still want to talk to you. What does this say about me?”

“Truly, I don’t know. Maybe you’re mad and I shouldn’t be here.”

“Glad you are. Despite all this.”

He looked away, pretending to see something at the window. But I could see him smile softly. I felt like with this discussion our relationship has grown. We put something aside, we set boundaries and exchanged viewpoints. We returned to the discussion of books.

“Next to Shakespeare what do you usually read?”

“Everything that seems to have a purpose.”

“Oh, so no trashy romance novels and dragon stories?”

“I don’t see the point of “trashy romance novels” but I have to admit that Victorian novels are often full of silly love games and yet I read them.”

“I agree with you though I’m not so romantic at heart.”

“Love can be a powerful motivator. Yet, it bears many risks and clouds judgements. I have to say I prefer their controlled and polite way to make connections.  I also try to read authors that show other perspectives. Voices that have previously been ignored. I have to admit, I need some recommendations in that regard though.”

“I can help you with that.”

We sat there for hours taking up books from shelves and talking about them. I’ve never seen him that.. emotional? Like he usually is very controlled. Smiles and laughter are always short, glimpses, you have to watch it closely. Yet, here…he seemed to smile more and more, show emotions clearly. When he hated a book, he hated it with passion, when he loved it you could see him gushing about it. Every book he didn’t know was picked up with curiosity, questions and a genuine interest.

I watched his black eyes reading pages, his soft and gaunt fingers handling the books with the utmost care. At one point did we sit on the floor because I looked for a book on the lowest shelf and he joined me there instead of staying on the couch. I still know how special and untypical that felt for him. The tall man sitting on my blue carpet like a little boy. I smelt his perfume and looked at his expensive and fine clothes. I wondered why he wears his sleeves so long that they hide parts of his hands. Maybe it gives him some kind of comfort? I had to stop myself staring at his face out of fear he’d ask what the hell I was doing. I think that was the night I fell in love. Here, in the sanctuary of my room away from everything he was outside. Where he felt human, kind, compassionate. From here on, I knew I was doomed for a possible heartbreak and I had to be cautious.

We also talked about our relationship to literature and writing. I told him: "I feel like words connect us and the written word connects us even after our death. Just think about how many of these authors are long gone and yet we talk about them. Even if they weren't heard during their lifetimes, we listen and remember them, giving them the attention that they deserve. I hope one day my words will survive and mean something to someone."

"So you don't think you are appreciated and heard now? You're an academic and stood on the stage for many years. I'd argue people listen to you" - replied Severus.

"Yes, I know that sounds horribly selfish from my privileged perspective. People listen but my words are about others or even words by others for that matter. I feel unheard most of the time but that's ok. I also don't think anything will survive after my death. I will simply be forgotten and my words, too. Yet, that's a destiny most of us share. It's the human condition. "

Severus looked in reflection to the starry roof of my room and after some moments said: "Indeed. but you will be remembered for being a wonderful and intelligent person. I can assure you, your words will one day find the way to the people's hearts and minds. My words will mostly be stuck in someone's nightmares, which, I guess, is more than many get." We looked at each other and I saw some sorrow in his deep and black eyes. I felt the same. Yet, I think in that moment we both gave each other some comfort.

Late in the night he made his leave. I accompanied him outside the Raven tower while he was carrying a small pile of selected books.

“Thank you for the tea, the stimulating discussions and the new reading material.. Have a good night.”

“Thank you for coming! It was really.. nice. I hope we can do that again, sometime.”

He smiled softly and returned to the Slytherin dungeons, robes wooshing and his head up high.

[en241]

Wednesday, 22 April

Extra Textra 

Here are your Questions & Comments on The Sweater.  But first, my assignment for Friday:

Please watch The Sweater again. This time, instead of watching for the maturation plot, consider the identity problem (the adult’s recognition that they were once someone different, as well as the child’s recognition that adults are different from who they are -- and that someday they too will be an adult). 

Also, try try try to look beyond the didactic reading to the subversive reading; beyond the lesson reading to the message reading. Flip the burger. What if the kid is actually the mature one? No really. The one with fresh batteries in his bullshit detector. (You’ll enjoy the story much more the second time! Have fun!)

Now, on to the comments:

I thought that by the end of the film, the kid would learn a moral lesson like what his mother told him but he didn't. It just ended with him in the church praying that his sweater got eaten by moths. It felt a bit like a letdown but I understand since kids are like that. He is very immature while the mother is the opposite. She is very mature. This makes sense, as adults are usually the mature ones. The kid acted like a typical child. He didn't care about morals he just wanted the right sweater. I think if the film extended beyond 10 minutes, we would see the child eventually mature and realize that what the mother said was correct. 

This was definitely cheerier!I can appreciate how well the introduction is able to portray the overall concept despite it not being in English.Like in Treasure Island there is this idea of a role model or someone to aspire too. Where Long John Silver and Billy Bones were not necessarily healthy role models for a young boy, this hockey player seems much more innocent.Not going to lie, the part where the priest comes in to play was a little weird and kind of did not fit with the narrative in my opinion.It reminds me of the discussion we had about "Where the Wild Things Are" and the idea of teaching lessons through narrative. While WTWTA does so in a less obvious way, "The Sweater" is obvious in its message. The idea of respect and consideration comes into play when the mother explains that if the boy would not wear the blue sweater that Mr. Eaton's feelings would be hurt. The boy is punished for if he does not wear the sweater just as much as if he does which is where this story kind of loses me. The church scene comes off as a kind of easy way out.A salvation story maybe, I don't know this one was a little odd for me.

I believe that was a very good illustrated video. I really enjoyed the story line as well. My first reaction to the video was this kid is just like everyone else. They love the game and love the player. Once the video continued it seemed he was ungrateful. The player everyone looks up to actually took the time to send him something. He did not want the sweater because he did not fit in with the rest of the kids. He did not value what he received because it was not what he wanted. The kid having a blue sweater also showed a form of discrimination. They did not let him play in the game because of the color of his sweater. They did not consider who gave it to him and how much that person meant to him. In relation to our maturation plot, I feel he never made it to that second house. He got lost in the woods and is still trying to find his way.

In watching this video, that character never matured. He still in the end refused to be happy with what he had. In a way, this is what happens in many children's books. Children are never happy with what they are given and just wish everything would work out for them. This is similar to "Where the Wild Things Are." Max just got his way in the end. He was not happy about what happened and what he was given, so he left. When he come back, he was the same as before and was even given his meal after all he had done. In the end, this character is not maturing. He is staying near the very low levels on the mature-meter. 

Moving onto the short story on youtube there's a lot of things happening with this boy, but I think this short story mostly relates to the secret garden because of the effect of negative thinking. I didn't come to this conclusion until he got the wrong sweater and spoke a lot of negativity into existence which brought him a lot of trouble the following time wearing the sweater like getting benched, getting a penalty, breaking his hockey stick then getting yelled at by his mom. His mom said “if you make up your mind before you try it you wont go very far in life,” and “its not what you put on your back its what you put in your head.” I’m stuck between feeling like she’s a wise lady and meant well by writing the letter and getting her son the sweater, and feeling like she noticed how unhappy he was and she could’ve written another letter so he could get the right one but if that happened then he would never learn. 

"The Sweater" is a story about a young boy who started out being a part of a group of boys all wearing the same red white and blue hockey sweater. The group mentality ruled and each individual couldn't see their identity beyond the group. When the boy received the new sweater and was forced to wear it, marked a changing point in his life. He had live with the embarrassment and disgrace of not being like the rest of the group. He had to mature so that he could break away from the group mentality and find his own individual identity.  The mother in the story the driving force because she refused to to return the sweater and made him wear it. You can't get angry and lose your temper. Growing up means taking what you have and learning from it. At the end this boy's efforts were symbolically rewarded by a handshake from the treasured hockey player. 

Well, the video left me at a cliff hanger. I feel as if the lesson wasn't executed very well and had a very abrupt ending . I am not entirely sure what exactly the lesson was,  there could've been a few such as teaching children the importance of not idolizing objects, a healthy balance between your thoughts and your friends. But I do also agree that this could teach adults a lesson, at the end of the video this big scary lady tells him to go to the church and pray for forgiveness and he prays for his shirt to be eaten up by bugs. Sometimes as adults we do a lot of finger-pointing and give a lot of chores and we don't really get that full instruction on how a child should go about it and why which creates a huge gap leading into a place for miscommunication. 

(that’s actually the town priest, wearing his surplice)

After watching the short film "The Sweater" I would like to address the concept of a maturation plot in relation to the short film's storyline. The film portrayed the boy as one who is ungrateful with the gift he received from his mother. This is definitely a realistic possibility for children who do not get what they want. As the story progresses he becomes so concerned with what others will think about him because he did not maintain the socially accepted appearance. This is also a reality for many in society. Just when I thought he would go to church and realize that he was being ungrateful, he instead prayed for the sweater to be taken from him. He failed in his own maturation. This is why I do not see the story having any sort of maturation plot.

The boy did continuously look up to an adult figure as his idol however he did not act as an adult but rather maintained his childish ways. He did not display any sort of personal growth throughout the story but considering his age (10), this is expected.

The plotline of the story set the viewer up to think that after the boy went to church to pray for his sins, but then twisted it and didn't actually resolve the problem at hand. I thought this was interesting because most of the children's literature we have covered resulted in growing, maturing and/or learning some type of lesson throughout the story. I also found it interesting that throughout all of the material we have covered, the children have looked up to and admired an adult figure of some sort and aspired to be like them (coming of age/growing into an adult) and this still reigns true for this story as well (a common theme throughout each reading).

I think the short film was good and the accent was a little hard to understand in the beginning. It seems to me like someone walking into a high school, wearing a rivals team jersey then being shunned. There is a lesson in it and I caught on. I wonder why children shun others, even if it is a rival. Everyone should still talk to you, because it is your preference on what you like. No one should discourage you from something you love.

In this story, the children all wanted to be someone else. Often times children want to be someone famous and well known. This is what the children do in this story. They are looking for a form of identity that all children look for. They never understand that they are all different and that even though they can all be the same person their is nothing wrong with being different. Children look for identity and when they find it, they cling to it. This is what the main character did. The adults in the story have a form of identity but they are not fully aware of it yet. Some laugh at the child for his reaction to the sweater. It shows that even when you become an adult, you still struggle with identity. The lesson in the story at first seems to be don't be different and that children often struggle in accepting that they will grow and change. The reader would learn the lesson of how people will always try to be like others and society often ridicules people for this, but also ridicules them for being different.