#childhood trauma yk

[hydn-jpg]

even in the midst of a mesmerising kaleidoscope of butterflies, lincoln found that vax was still the most beautiful one there <3

@abelflints hi hello!! i am your secret admirer ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉﾞ

i knew from the moment i saw him that i wanted to draw vax!! (though at first it was a tough choice between him and alaska haha, they're both so pretty!!) i've mentioned that i absolutely adore his design, and i really do! drawing him was such a delight!! you mentioned here that he loves butterflies and moths, which i thought is the most precious thing so i wanted to draw him (and by extension, lincoln lol) around some butterflies! :D

i have not read ilw, but i really enjoyed seeing all the works you've done your blog!! the edits especially, big fan of peeled lincoln 🥔

i hope you like it!! happy valentines day, have a good one <3

(also sorry i missed some details!! i didn't realise it until after i exported it ;; it has been a long week haha)

@choicesfandomappreciation thank you always for organising such fun events!!

timelapse (=`ω´=) :

[levmada]

would levi be the kind of person who loses an argument because he gets emotional? or because he just doesn't wanna fight with you? or both?

Levi loses an argument when he realizes he’s wrong. He’s mature enough to flat-out admit he’s wrong, too.

But about him getting emotional, Levi is a calm and collected person - he never flies off the handle during arguments and goes into a fury or anything. When he’s angry, his voice gets more quiet and deadly. He could explode, though, if the conflict has built up enough. But he feels horrible about it right after.

All that said, he’s super emotional on the inside. Levi feels very deeply and he would be upset by most arguments, but his solution is to detach and avoid.

And he doesn’t want to argue with you either, that’s true. With his abandonment issues, he doesn’t handle conflict in his personal life well. He’s an extremely mature person, but he has an insecure attachment style and unhealthy coping mechanisms. It’s more like he’s immature emotionally.

I think he can be passive-aggressive too at the worst of times. When he’s really hurt. Like sarcastic jabs, the silent treatment, or not-quite-slamming a door when he leaves.

So most likely he’ll walk out of the room even if the argument isn’t over, and be dismissive until you communicate with him; unless he’s at a point with you where he’s learned how to communicate better, then he’ll be more upfront when you have time to talk.

[newtlesbian]

going further. franks child self was living in that one room with a strange weirdo boy he dreamed up but never really had. now his inner child isn’t alone anymore. he plays games with his real charlie in their terrible one room apartment. getting weird with it and being okay with being weird no matter what everyone on the outside might think. sharing a bed together to feel the comfort in being close to that

macs child self had charlie the whole time. inseparable. a package deal. the most genuine connection and comfort in both of their neglected tiny lives. not just because they were otherwise alone. decades later theyre not going anywhere. now their inner child rides bikes together they throw rocks at trains together they teach each other about the world just like they needed so desperately in old times

dennis’ child self never had charlie. not until highschool. but that was exactly when he experienced his csa. his inner child found charlie at the exact right moment. caught him when he fell. he got his child self back through charlie just as he lost feeling. and now what do the two of them do together? they go recreate memories and recapture lost youth with a mutual unspoken understanding of why

they all need charlie. relaxing into his genuine youthful energy lets them feel that way again.

[chiquilines]

Redraw of a comic i made a year ago for the villain!fuyumi AU!!

[bpdohwhatajoy]

I was gonna ask “what’s it called when you spend any money on yourself and feel violently guilty and ashamed” and then I remembered lol money trauma from parents

[sentientsky]

"your abuse made you kind" no, i made myself kind. i made myself gentle. my abuse made me skittish and hand-shy and wary of anyone who tries to get too close. it killed that little kid who used to be me and replaced her with an angry, thrashing wraith of a woman. my abuse didn’t make me soft or nice or sweet; it nearly fucking destroyed me. (thinkin' about this post btw)

[mossy-petrichor]

Haii tumblr >_< I wrote about 7 year old Julian Devorak (he's traumatized)

No archive warnings but as usual there's angst, panic attacks, a flashback if you squint and implied (emotional) child neglect

[mondaymelon]

This is so late omg but here

Holy water for your traumatized and scarred eyes

i dont even know when i asked for this but im very certain it was needed. thank you for your service. do i begin with gargling it consuming it or showering with it. to i pour it into my eyes like eyedrops or do i pour some into my hands and then vigorously massage them like very rotund grapes

[rainmothseventeen]

Bouquets of marigolds

I am my father's son. I hold some sort of anger and with it in my hands I use it as a blade. Do I turn my knife on myself? Do I draw it from its too small sheath and hold it out in front of me, shaking violently like a scared child?

I see myself sitting at the train station staring up at the greying sky. The train is so very powerful. It's throwing itself forward towards me, hurtling down the tracks like a blizzard or crashing waves.

Bouquets of marigolds I can't grip onto because in all love there is despair and I feel so desperate, so filthily hungry for the affection I'm so afraid of. I have never been loved, not properly, and now I find myself so afraid of it. I don't think I can ever love anyone right, I scare them, I worship them like a God and it hurts so much more when they abandon me.

I turn back to the window, a little box to let the hot air in, a little box to cry out of where only the birds can see you burn your hands on your cigarettes. Burn me down. Watch me smile as you take your gun to my temple. I'm sorry I couldn't learn how to hold the flowers. You keep saying you love me but you don't, not properly, and I'm afraid, and I'm pointing a knife at you and shaking. And you can't look at me, can hardly breathe, and so I wake away. The knife keeps falling out of the sheath. Spilling out of my mouth covered in blood and lying in my lap.

I want to tell you there is no God and once my train comes in leaving you. I want to tell you that I don't love you. I can barely speak. I want to pull my knife out and stop fucking shaking. I can't. And I'm afraid.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

Gulps…, hellohi.. confession I’ve been daydreaming about angst recently and that cult leader Geto drabble u wrote only made me think about it even more… <///333 ignore that I’m a little bit obsessed with the mentally ill/traumatised reader + stsg trope but… can u really blame me ☹️ they would be so good and I think they would be the best comfort u could possible have :((

Ok but. more specifically reader with a rough childhood (a lil like sugu.. he def has some sort of daddy/mommy issues i will die on that hill) or some sort of abandonment/trust issues that has a habit of self sabotaging or intentionally distancing themselves. More specifically maybe grown up stsg where they’re a little more mature and have more of a grasp on how to help you better.. maybe reader has a nightmare or something, goes out for a smoke on the balcony etc etc.. sugu meets them out there n. They just have a good old fashioned talk like :( just being honest and vulnerable because it’s late and u just need a hug most of all :(( def ends with him carrying reader back to bed n playing with ur hair until you fall back asleep GODDDD KILL ME NOW ☹️☹️ moments of tenderness/vulnerability are my absolutely favourite thing in writing/shows/etc ESPECIALLY when it’s from characters that usually don’t display those sort of feelings because you just know it means there’s such a strong bond between them…. Can u hear my heart breaking

^^ either this one or reader with trust issues that’s a little cat-like personality wise (which I think fits so beautifully because stsg are the most wolf coded boys ever) who’s fully convinced they’re better off on their own, they don’t need friends or people to rely on. Until they meet stsg!!!!! Because suddenly there are two irritatingly charming losers following you around and worming their way into your heart and you just. Physically cannot bring yourself to deny them, even if it’s a little scary allowing people in. And god i think it would make them feel SO special once you started warming up to them. Allowing satoru to greet you with hugs or pinch ur cheeks… letting sugu baby you a little…… (distant screaming)

THIS HAS BEEN ANOTHER YAP SESSION BY ME ^_^ it’s literally so late at night rn I don’t know why these ideas always come to me just as I’m about to sleep ffs ☹️ N E WAYYYSSSS im looking forward to that satoru fic/drabble thing u were talking about :3 a mix of scared and excited ngl I feel like I gotta prepare myself incase it’s angsty….. but WHAT HAVE U BEEN UP TO?? It’s literally just been grey n windy where I am so I hope ur getting better weather where u are 😞😞 I HOPE U HAVE BEEN HAVING FUN N TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF!!

(Also irrelevant but I was just about to add a silly image to finish and I stumbled across this image of satoru and I’m laughing my ass of why is he so lanky?????? I could NOT be his friend I would just make fun of him for being built like a fucking STICKBUG 😭😭😭 LOOK AT THE RESEMBLANCE)

(Yes I made the second image myself what do you think of my artistic talent ^_^ ignore the flag)

HELLO HI MY DEAREST OLLIE i am gulping right with you ……… this made me so insane 😔😔

i’ve said it before n i’ll say it again . ariollie STAYS synced up i’m convinced we share a brain……. your scenarios always make me feel so ill (affectionate) and this scenario just means sm to me :((( they really would be the best!!! a reader like that would be treated so tenderly and with sm understanding…. especially since suguru and satoru had rough upbringings too!! (not canon for sugu maybe but i agree w you 100% ollie i literally can’t see his childhood being anything but messed up…. he def has both mommy and daddy issues i know my own kind 🙏🙏)

aaaaa just!!! yeah. reader isolating themselves when they feel down and overwhelmed and being taken care of so effortlessly… stsg just wouldn’t let you face your struggles alone. you’re a team!!! and yeah grown up stsg would for sure be the best at this. i think that as teens they won’t know exactly how to help/might be a little overwhelming….. but as adults they’re more mature and grounded and have a better understanding of your struggles and their own!!! goshhhhh the balcony scene 😔😔😔 ollie do you want my heart to shatter (also what if i told you that exact scenario has popped up in my head multiple times we’re so linked) suguru would just be so vulnerable and patient and caring :(((( our papa bear…. carries you to bed and lulls you to sleep. for sure makes you a warm cup of tea too… sighhh i need him i fear 💔💔

AND AND ANDDDD a catlike reader 😵‍💫😵‍💫 one of my personal favs. independent and a little distant….. used to being on their own……. very picky with who they allow close. it’s just PERFECT for stsg (WOLFCODED BOYS SO TRUEEE)… ollie the way you describe it all makes me feel ILLLL they really would feel so honoured 😭😭😭 cue satoru melting into a puddle when you finally wrap your arms around him….. suguru literally grinning like an idiot (he’s trying DESPERATELY not to but it’s impossible) when you shyly ask him for affection. yeahhhh their hearts would explode i think

ANOTHER BANGER YAP SESSION FROM OLLIEEE i look forward to them sm yknow!!! i can always trust you to have the tastiest stsg scenarios ready to go 🙏🙏🙏 i’m a lil late to this BUT i hope you had a cozy sleep my friend <3 AND WAHH i’m so glad you’re excited for bfb!satoru!!!! i’m gonna try to get it out by next weekend…… i promise not to make it angsty hehe it’s just a lil bittersweet!!! a tiny bit!!!! (depends on how you feel abt the unrequited love trope though 😭😭) IT’S GRAY N WINDY HERE TOO i’m hoping for more sunlight soon………. and i’m doing well hehe i’ve been playing a bunch of pj sekai + watching my favorite streamer play zero escape >:33 WHAT ABT UUU OLLIE what have you been up to?? good things i hope!!! pls remember to rest up and take care of yourself as well <333 it’s what stsg would’ve wanted!!!

(also PHDKDVDJDJYFU NOT THE SATORU SLANDER?????? 😭😭😭 LEAVE MY STICKBUG ALONE???????? i snorted so loud thank you for the free art it’s beautiful <333 i’m gna print it and hang it on my wall.)

[hollystarss]

we should be nicer to people about their fears i think

[lab-gr0wn-lambs]

If they are setting up a thing between Daryl and Issa though, I gotta ask Why The Fuck? What does their dynamic have that he and Carol or Connie don't? "Sometimes people just don't click like that" yeah in real life. This is a TV show, everything is manufactured. Why these two? It's giving nothing. I can barely see him being with anybody but especially not her.

[atypi-cals]

man, I miss high-school. i know I know I was miserable as shit all the time but I blame that for living in a toxic, abusive environment. I'm just so isolated now. I wish I could have gone into a building full for hundreds of other people my age every day, learn new stuff for free, and be at my best self there, not the undiagnosed unrecognized traumatized confused little wreck I was back then.

[todayisafridaynight]

I keep seeing those "character without trauma" depictions and they seem like fun but I can't really picture it for most of The Faves... I guess Arakawa would've stayed an actor and Mine would've stayed at his company (or who knows, maybe he would've pursued baseball instead to begin with), but other than that I'm coming up blank...

its hard to imagine traumaless depictions when A Good Portion Of Characteristics are a product of trauma tbf 👁️💋👁️

[puppydogsys]

survived our mother visiting but wow that sure was triggering

[inkykeiji]

okay someone please come to canada’s wonderland with me ｡：ﾟ(｡ﾉω＼｡)ﾟ･｡