#choices were made and regretted

[empressofmankind]

Something about boarding and capture, and me not minding so very much.

[knifekris]

every day i struggle to make choices

[lvstharmony]

​beyond grateful for the people that are surrounding me in my life, just as i am grateful for the people i’ve parted ways with, for without them, i would not be the person i am today.

[relicsongmel]

Was doing some thinking today and realized that one of the reasons I'm really drawn to Kieran is because he's a rare example of a character that's shy (and usually good-hearted) but still has some rougher edges to him.

I feel like all too often shy characters are shoved into being portrayed as either "smol bean who would never hurt anyone and just wants friends uwu" or "brooding loner who snaps at people to cover up the fact they don't actually know how to socialize" with not a lot of wiggle room in between. While I can and do enjoy characters that (arguably) fall into those respective categories, they're a bit reductive in the sense that things are very rarely that black and white in reality. Even the kindest people have a limit to what they can tolerate. They have bad days or respond poorly to events around them that cause them stress. And the same can be said in reverse as well—point being, people are multifaceted and don't always behave as predictably as we'd like to think.

And I think Kieran reflects that dichotomy perfectly. When we first meet him, he's meek, timid, and relies heavily on his more brash and forceful older sister to help him navigate social situations where he would otherwise lose out on something valuable because he's too afraid to come forward and ask for what he wants (like how she has to ask the player to battle him on his behalf). He's often quick to cower whenever she starts to get heated, but he's also not afraid to point out when he thinks she's wrong and sometimes even gets sassy with her himself. He's undeniably sweet and gentle and shows eagerness to make friends with the player, but he becomes much more curt when he notices we're lying to him about Ogerpon. The rest of the Teal Mask storyline shows him fluctuating even further—yelling at Carmine and the player for keeping secrets from him, punching things in fits of anger...then backpedaling and apologizing for the trouble he caused a few scenes later. Spreading the truth about Ogerpon to everyone in the village to help make her happy...then selfishly demanding a battle to see who's worthy of being her Trainer when she has already clearly chosen the player.

After being lied to and suffering repeated losses at our hands (including the Pokemon he's idolized all his life choosing us over him), he leans even more heavily into his bitter side during the Indigo Disk—being cold and ruthless to pretty much everyone around him, but at the end of the day it's primarily overcompensation for what he perceives as his own personal weakness (because he's still just a kid trying to be taken seriously). He's shown to drop the act on multiple occasions—most notably when he's caught off guard by our appearance at Blueberry Academy and at a few points during the Area Zero expedition. He antagonizes the player up until the moment of his defeat and tries to catch and use Terapagos in a last-ditch moment of desperation that ends up going horribly wrong, but after everything resolves he's quick to admit his mistakes and asks the player for forgiveness and if they can still be friends. After the epilogue he's mostly back to his old self, but still seems to get worked up when provoked (e.g. when he yells at Drayton for refusing to stop calling him "ex-Champ" in one of their League Club Room interactions).

And I think this varied and sometimes contradictory behavior is precisely why Kieran is such a cohesive and believable character—because it shows how even kind, well-meaning people may have a hidden darker side that can show itself under the right circumstances. How they might let their insecurities get the better of them. How a shy, timid kid might not have the experience to know how to deal with sudden feelings of frustration and/or jealousy that are far too strong to keep to himself, so he lashes out as a result. How despite all this he remains kind, sensitive and loving at his core and shows willingness to learn from his mistakes. And that is what makes him so compelling to me.

[emmodii-mode]

Just finished my first playthrough of BG3. Romanced Lae'zel, but ending up turning into an Illithid because the idea of making Orpheus or Karlach do it didn't sit well with me (or my character).

I told Lae'zel to leave with Orpheus in the end (I heard she wouldn't stay with a ghaik anyway, which she's valid for, but also, it doesn't feel right to ask her to stay when I know how much her people mean to her). And like-

Her face before she flies off---

She looks so heartbroken and sad.

[sesamenom]

can't remember where it's from but i think it's stated somewhere that Earendil identifies as human but chose elves so he can stay with his family.

so does he have like. elf dysphoria?

[seventeendeer]

adventure time, baby, I'm going to keep it real with you: you had the perfect meta setup (a spinoff of a children's cartoon made for adults who grew up with said cartoon) for a story about two characters desperate to return to simpler times (fionna longing for the subconscious memory of a fantasy land where nothing is complex and she won't have to face the trials of young adulthood in her now-mundane world, simon longing to lose his mind again so he won't have to remember his grief) coming to realize that the "simpler times" they remember were never as straightforward as their idealized memories (fionna realizing that her black-and-white worldview was actually just deeply biased and ultimately harmful, simon realizing that ice king was just as miserable as simon himself and simply lacked the tools to parse his own emotions), the idealized past they want to return to was never real, and in order to move forward, they have to face the painful realities they've been trying to avoid, mature as people, and learn to see beauty and value in their own respective lives, even if they're not the lives they'd hoped for

and then that didn't happen. there was a perfect metaphor for the false allure of nostalgia using THE "whimsical at first glance/shockingly grim under the surface" children's cartoon RIGHT THERE. How Did You Fuck That Up

[ex-textura]

😶

[vamppvania]

They're still toxic Yuri btw. They couldn't be together in any universe because their mutual obsession would cause them both to make harmful sacrifices for the other. It wasn't necessarily healthy but it was everything. There's no regrets because what matters is that love was there. It was always there. Everything stays but it's still changing.

[keikalium]

Ngl at first Wisdom Saga was the one I was least excited about and my main thought was that the sooner it comes, the sooner Vengeance Saga will come out

Let's just say that a few days later I've got a massive case of "song stuck in my head" for Little Wolf

And then week later I got even bigger for Legendary and overall very excited

So yeah now I'm in front of the TV at fucking 4:00 am and hating my life choices and eating pierogis with mayonnaise

I regret nothing tho I just hope that listening to the new Saga the whole day will keep me awake xd

[staringrole]

i don't think you all understand how much carmen loves bobby

[giantkillerjack]

Ya know. I spent most of my life with horrible painful soul-crushing social anxiety.

And after about 25 years of continuous hard work, suddenly, people started pointing out - to my utter bafflement - that I had, in fact, achieved my lifelong dream of being charismatic. I'm 29 now; I feel comfortable in most social situations, and it is a very rare person whom I cannot make laugh.

I am, undoubtedly, finally, charismatic.

But do you know what I found?

I found that now that I have an understanding of which social rules serve which functions -- Now that I have an understanding of just how much damage my awkwardness was doing to people, well,

I found that, actually, my awkwardness never really hurt anyone at all. People were just judgmental dicks to me about it.

Now that I have the skill-level to (most of the time) creatively vocalize what is in my head as soon as I think it and without fear, I can confirm once and for all what I had always suspected:

I was worth talking to when I was quiet.

I was worth talking to when I was awkward, and when the words in my head took time and patience to hear, and when most of my jokes didn't land. I was worth talking to the whole time.

So I just... I hope that if you've ever wondered whether you are worth communicating with, the answer is yes. Absolutely yes. Each of us has a soul worth sharing - and if you and I were talking, I would happily wait for you to speak (or communicate in other ways) without condescending, and I would never shame you for that harmless awkwardness that so many people feel the need to violently stomp out.

You are worth talking to. You just are. And you deserve people who will speak to you with kindness, with patience, and with the basic immutable respect owed to all people.

(I talk about this with some frequency, both on tumblr and in real life. At some point, maybe I'll gather all my thoughts on the matter into one post. At some point, I wrote about my personal experience trying to build my social skill. But I felt the need to say at least a little bit tonight after seeing this other lovely post, and I'm glad I did. It will happen again.)

[llycaons]

visited the new place today! my only concern is actually that's it's too sterile...there's literally no character since it's SO new. and it's going to take a while to get used to the proportions...like the main area is so long and narrow, idk how my new couch will even fit

[platitudinalteen]

Today's mistake was writing 4k words, only to realize that I hated every single one of them. I now get to scrap the entire chapter so far and rewrite it. Yay me.

[hostradio]

ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴇᴇʟ ʀᴇᴍᴏʀsᴇ?

does  he  feel  remorse?  what  a  deliciously  vague  inquiry.  did  he  feel  remorse  when  he  took  his  first  life?  he  was  still  barely  more  than  a  boy  then  —  he  thought  the  dirt  would  cling  to  his  nails  forever,  a  reminder  of  that  original  sin.  yet  he  felt  empty.  numb.  perhaps  he  was  simply  born  with  a  taste  for  death;  someone  who  felt  guilt  for  their  actions  would  not  go  out  of  their  way  to  kill  again.  alastor  took  it  a  step  further  —  a  self-appointed  judge,  jury  and  executioner.  he  slaughtered  the  truly  irredeemable,  plucking  them  like  unsightly  weeds  from  a  garden.  not  out  of  a  sense  of  well-intentioned  morality,  but  rather  to  sate  his  disgust  and  revel  in  his  own  power.  and  he  would  do  it  again,  if  he  were  reborn  on  earth  anew.  and  again,  and  again,  and  again.

upon  further  consideration,  he  supposes  he  regrets  his  carnage  in  hell  even  less.  they  are  all  damned  souls  and  their  eternal  punishment  is  being  trapped  in  this  claustrophobic  cage  together.  if  they  were  good,  if  they  were  creatures  worth  saving,  they  wouldn't  be  here  —  now  would  they?  he  isn't  an  amateur,  of  course;  he  doesn't  slaughter  without  justification.  (  though  alastor's  criteria  for  killing  is  quite  loose  these  days.  )  they  deserve  whatever  cruelty  he  shows  them.

ah,  what  else...  trading  his  own  soul  for  unprecedented  power?  the  radio  demon  supposes  he  dislikes  what  inconveniences  such  a  short-sighted  decision  have  brought  him  —  but  he  is  working  on  correcting  them.  and  really,  what  else  was  he  expected  to  do?  pass  up  the  opportunity  to  consolidate  his  strength  naturally  instead?  that  would  have  taken  too  long  —  he  would  not  accept  the  indignity,  would  not  waste  years  toiling  away  in  hell's  filth.  alastor's  ambition  may  very  well  be  considered  a  force  of  nature  in  its  own  right  for  all  the  havoc  it  has  wrought,  and  it  shows  no  signs  of  stopping.

so  after  much  careful  consideration,  ❝  no. ❞   no.  he  doesn't  think  he's  ever  felt  remorse  for  a  single  thing.  he  isn't  planning  on  changing  that,  either.  what  a  worthless  hindrance  of  a  feeling.

TRUTH SERUM : 5 / 10

[nohkalikai]

the more today's 'interview' sinks in, the worse i think i answered all of her questions.