#come up. there is a lot more context to these passages and a lot of meaning known at the time but like. someday i'll look into it

[sonicstorybook]

SATBK Origintober 5

In Chretien de Troyes' Perceval (The Story of the Grail), Gawain has a habit of not telling anyone his identity unless directly asked. But once he's asked, he won't refuse to answer or give an alias.

While they [the Maiden of the Small Sleeves and Gawain] were conversing, her father [the Vavasor*] came into the square and did everything in his power to persuade my lord Gawain to stay the night and take lodgings with him, but first he begged and requested him to tell him his name, if he would. My lord Gawain refused to stay but told him: "Sir, I am called Gawain; I've never refused to reveal my name anywhere it was asked, but I've never given it unless I was first asked for it."

*Vavasor was a position in feudal law who served as like... an overseer/administrator for a baron. The vavasour was a vassal of the baron, but also had tenants under him. So I would say, like, moderate social standing but below Gawain's station for sure.

[imitationgame77]

Progression of intimacy in Artificial Condition

Cycle 1

MB: After the events of All System Red, spent 7 cycles on a bot piloted transport, then embarks an unmanned ship, thinking it only has a low-level bot pilot.

ART: Readily responds to MB's ping, and accept media in exchange for passage to RaviHyral Mining Facility Q Station, letting MB to believe that it is just a bot pilot. It admits later that it was curious about a rogue SecUnit trying to travel on its own.

ART: Waits until MB settles down and start watching media before suddenly addressing it via its feed, and reveals its true self by dropping the wall for 0.0001 of a second.

MB: Instantly recognizes its power and implicit threat and withdraws. When ART, not understanding MB's strong reaction, tells it not to sulk, it fires back and sends a file showing its experience of torture as a SecUnit.

ART: Stays silent for 5 minutes, and then apologizes for having frightened it. [For omniscient machine intelligence like ART, we now realize that is a VERY long time. It was probably shocked by the cruelty experienced by a SecUnit, and digging up extensive information on SecUnits and how they are treated in Corporation Rim. Also analyzing why MB was reacting the way it was.] Then withdraws behind its wall, giving MB space.

MB: Watches 3 episodes of Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon, while trying to calm itself. Then starts to see the event from the transport's point of view. [This demonstrates its ability to understand the world from other person's point of view, known in psychology as Theory of Mind, lack of which is considered to be indicator of autism spectrum.]

Art: After further 6 episodes, quietly re-enters MB's feed, and lurks there while MB watches 7 more episodes. [No idea how long an episode is, but even if it is about 30 minutes, ART was patiently watching MB watch its favourite show at least for 3-4 hours without interruption!] Then politely pings MB to request to watch the new serial World Hoppers. When refused, repeats the request after 2 minutes. And explains that it cannot usually understand the context of media, and watching through MB's filter gives it the context and understanding.

MB and ART start watching World Hoppers together

Cycle 2~

MB: While watching World Hoppers (3 times) and other media (hundreds of hours), comes to see how ART is attached to its humans, and begins to feel "charitable" towads it, letting it to watch a potentially traumatizing episode 1 or 2 minutes at a time. Also comes to understand it well enough to create a content filter.

[There is no mention of specific time span, but it must have taken at least a few cycles to view all that media, even without recharge cycle]

ART: After 4 episodes of Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon, by which point ART had noticed that it was MB's favourite show, it asks if the serial has a SecUnit character. Subsequent conversation (reluctantly, on MB's side) reveals that MB does not like SecUnits in the way they are used, and even portrayed in media, because it is unrealistic, but not in a good way.

ART proceeds to ask why MB is there, surprising it because MB had assumed that the transport had no interest in it. MB reveals its brief history with PreservationAux but reluctant to talk any further. ART confesses that it is not supposed to pick up unauthorized passenger, saying that they both have a secret. MB goes as far as to admit it is going to RaviHyral Mining Facility for research, but would not say any more. And when pressed, proceeds to start a shut-down cycle.

[When MB wakes up 4 hours later, ART immediately resumes argument, calling the shut-down a childish behaviour. With ART's processing capacity, managing travel through a wormhole would not take up much. Probably lots of speculative thoughts were going through its mind while also probably looking up on everything about the Mining Facility and SecUnits, as well as past newsfeeds on Mensah's team.]

ART does not drop the subject. It presses MB saying that it should share its plans as they are now friends. MB tries to convince the transport and itself that constructs and bots can never be friends as they may have to act against each other if their humans command them. ART simply points out that there are no humans now. Eventually, MB relents and tells ART what happened at RaviHyral Mining Facility before the partial memory purge around the time of Governor Module hack. Discussion with ART gives MB new perspectives. [It is around this point that MB decides to call the transport ART, short for Asshole Research Transport. ART does not show any negative response regarding MB's grim past]

ART points out the risk of being spotted as a rogue SecUnit at RaviHyral Mining Facility Q Station, much to MB's dismay. [MB talks of "ART was doing that thing again where it asked me questions it knew the answer to so it could trap me into admitting stuff I didn't want to admit. I decided to skip to the end." This passage indicates that perhaps more conversations had taken place prior to this, and like a good university instructore, ART was manipulating guiding MB's thought processes, and MB had noticed it.]

ART suggests configuration change which horrifies MB. ART points out that its survival as a rogue SecUnit is at stake, and makes it realize that if it wants to survive and meet the PreservationAux people again, it needs to make sure it does not get caught as a rogue Unit. MB thinks it over 2 cycles, during which time ART says nothing more about it, watching media together. During the same period, MB tries to see if it can look less like a SecUnit by creating codes to make itself behave like a human. MB asks ART to record its movement, but realizes that it still looked like a SecUnit, as it meets the unit standard size which can be spotted by a scan.

[ART loves being right, but it shows genuine desire to help it survive, and tries to get MB to realize the importance itself. Probably having learned MB's character and its past (at least in part), once having given suggestions, it simply waits (and trusts) until MB comes to make the choice itself.]

Unspecified Cycle

MB and ART argued a lot over what should be done to change MB's configuration from the unit standard. ART even suggests giving it sex related organ which MB vehemently rejects.

ART performs configuration change on MB.

While MB is still incapacitated ART does search on RaviHyral Mining Facility Q Station, narrowing down the likely place of incident to Ganaka Pit.

There is no mention of time frame from the configuration change to the arrival at the destination. However, based on the facts that they seemed to know about each other a lot by Network Effect, they must have spent some quality time together talking, as well as watching media. Once they have reached RaviHyral Mining Facility Q Station, they stayed together by the Comm feed, but most of their attention was on protection of the three young humans.

Cycle 21-23?

They reach RaviHyral Mining Facility Q Station. ART suggests that MB takes on a temporary job as a security consultant (augumented human) in order to gain legitimate way to access installation site and helps it with preparation. MB protects its first voluntarily taken clients and does a lot more than what is required as a security consultant. It also manages to find out what really happened at Ganaka Pit where the incident happened before its memory purge. Throughout, ART stays with MB, keeping company, offering tactical and morale support, except when it was in Ganaka Pit and out of comm range. When they finally part company, ART tells it to keep its Comm in case they may come within the range again, to which MB could only send an acknowledgement, as it feared it would get too emotional if tried to speak.

Rogue Protocol; Exit Strategy; Fugitive Telemetry

In all the books whose timeline come between Artificial Condition and Network Effect, MB mentions ART several times, indicating that it was thinking of its friend frequently and misses it.

---------------------------------------

Not explicitly written interactions that solidified the basis for their friendship "mutual administrative assistance" probably happened from around the time of the configuration change and arrival at the station. By the time MB starts its security consultant job, they seem significantly more comfortable with each other than before. Some indications are:

MB admits that the only important thing while at RaviHyral Mining Facility Q Station was ART's comm interface.

MB could tell ART was withholding something by its a few seconds of pause and pressed it, and ART admits it has debris deflection systsm.

MB allows ART full access to its brain in order to let it use it as a bridge to reach the shuttle's control. Twice. MB has guarded its mind tightly ever since it hacked the governor module. It disliked Gurathin because he accessed it while MB was shut down, which he found as violation of privacy. Even with different circumstances, with more urgency, MB does not hesitate much nore does it seem to mind that it had to allow ART full access.

When MB was distressed at Tapan's questions about its "augumentation" after investigation into Ganaka Pit incident, ART plays soundtracks of Rise and Fall of Sanctuary Moon for MB, which calms it down. It knows that the serial is a kind of security blanket to MB.

Before meeting ART's crew in Network Effect, MB had already known that Iris was ART's favourite human.

ART was telling its crew about MB, without going into details about their adventure on RaviHyral, but in such a way that its favourite human had thought of MB as "Peri's SecUnit".

ART entrusted its fate to MB when its existence was at stake. Not to its colleagues from university. Nobody else could have rescued it except MB.

The first thing it said to MB when it came back online after deletion was, "I'm not going to hurt your humans, you little idiot", which sounds extremely affectionate.

Their mutual feelings (despite MB being very angry at the time) were apparent enough that Rhatti, only shortly after hearing them interact briefly, called it "a relationship" which horrifies MB.

Overall, they exhibit deep level of mutual affection from the moment they are reunited in Network Effect, which suggests their intimacy had progressed rapidly even before arriving at RaviHyral. Also, probably "absence makes the heart grow fonder" was also the case. ART must have been keeping track of MB's doings as much as it could. Otherwise it could not have known that it was then working with Arada at the time of kidnapping!

[cursedartistnelari]

DID YOU SEE THE MOVIE???  IT WAS BEAUTIFUL

 The best 120 minutes of my life were there

 I know I haven't posted anything in a while, but the university has seriously been ruining me.  To be honest, I still haven't been able to make much progress on the next chapter, but as a reward, I decided to give you the context of my story.  So today I come to explain what the hell is going on here :)))

(without spoilers)

 The drawings are not in order. I actually didn't finish all the pictures but suck it. Take it or leave it.

Enjoy

------

It's been a while since the end of the second season, they're all a year older, and apparently blue is the leader now. Does everyone like the idea? Nop

The boys managed to save the world after the almost destruction of everything at the hands of the Shedder, but not without leaving consequences. Strange cracks have recently been reported in the hidden city and New York. These cracks usually appear in random places, have magical properties, their exponential growth periodically, and are characterized by being accompanied by earthquakes wreaking havoc on both worlds. If they do not stop them soon the reality of both civilizations could be harmed. However, no one knows precisely the cause of these, their nature, or their true power... except for Draxum(? He has seen that kind of brilliance before, in his years as a warrior, yokai alchemist, and hater of humans. 

As a last resort to save the world, he decides to look for someone who he hurt terribly in the past, Usagi.

Usagi is a 16 year old boy, he was born and raised on the outskirts of the hidden city in a very gated traditional community. Where what is professed is the importance of teaching and preserving the traditions of the first yokais who came from Japan to New York settling in the hidden city to build a new life there. Some time ago, his clan was the only one that had New York, they supported each other. They had a great sense of community and union thanks to the great chief who was blessed with the power of the gods to bring harmony and order.

However, with the passage of time and modernization of human society, several members were moving away from it opting for other forms and lifestyles. This greatly displeased the sages and elders within society, causing new severe rules against anything related to change. Thereby creating a smaller, closed, and remote community until total isolation. 

Usagi was born into a society almost forgotten and close to change, he as the only son of the boss, had to learn everything necessary to one day succeed his father and continue with the tradition, he is aware of this. He knows the importance of this. He loves his father and loves his people. 

But is it really what usagi wants? What if it wasn't? 

Sadly before he could know the answer to that question, misfortune knocked on his door.

"Being different takes you bad places son"

It is one of the words he remembers most from his father as he waits his turn in the cell to get in the ring and fight for his life followed by Draxum's face, he cannot forget it, nor does he want to. Yes, there was a time when he believed he would be the chief. He really thought that some days he would make a change. He thought that he had friends. Did he was someone? Did he ever have a life?

Now he only fights to survive one more day... until some turtle boys appeared to look for him.

Things have not been easy for mad dogs, since the change of leadership from Leo to Rapha, the missions have become more complicated not to mention that his success rate in these has been declining thanks to Leo always ending up acting on his own more than in a team causing arguments between him and Rapha, followed by his two other brothers trying to calm them down.

Raphael is the older brother of the boys, he has been the natural leader of his brothers for years, and despite that, the truth is he has no problem with leaving the leadership to Leo. That is, at first the whole thing brought him a lot of mixed feelings. Was there anything wrong with him? If he was no longer the leader of the mad dogs, what is his role in the team?  It was all very confusing, but if Dad thinks it's the right decision to make Leo the leader, that's fine, he wants to support him and teach him everything he knows. But sometimes it's so complicated and frustrating to make Leo understand that every decision that he makes has consequences.  The most recent thing they must solve now are those rare and complicated cracks. Honestly, they have Rapha very worried and if Leo does not take it seriously, he does not know what else he can do.

Mikey was always the youngest in the family, he was always loved and protected by his older brothers since dad was not always available for them due to personal problems related to PTSD.  Therefore it is normal that he has never liked the conflicts between his brothers and since the change of roles, these have become more frequent.  He genuinely wants to help everyone, he is no longer a child who must be overprotected by others, sometimes he can also do the same for his siblings, listen to his problems, propose solutions, and talk.

Things like that. 

It's just frustrating that they always underestimate his abilities and treat him like a baby by hiding things that they think he can't handle.  Since the magical cracks appeared Mikey has the feeling that this could be his chance to show his brothers that he can help them too, he is the most magical of the family he just needs a chance. 

Donnie has never been the best when it comes to feelings or change. There are many things that have changed since the battle with the shedder, starting with Leo who is now apparently the leader.  Honestly, he is not very sure about this new change in the team, I mean he loves his brother and he must admit that he has some leadership qualities, but Raphael has always been in charge of leading them, it is a big change that he is terrified that It's going to go wrong and to be fair over the last few weeks Leo hasn't helped him change his mind.  Recently cracks started appearing everywhere and maybe his brothers don't understand but if they don't work as a team this could go very wrong, not being good at this feeling thing, he doesn't know how to tell others his worries about the cracks. 

Draxum insists that he knows someone. Yeah, of course. Let's trust him.

 Leonardo, to be fair with him…

He never wanted to be the leader, "the face man" was a much more comfortable title for him.  Honestly, what was dad thinking about that decision?  Everyone knew that he didn't have the ability to be the leader, you don't have to be very smart to realize that he's not the one for the job.  Being the leader of the mad dogs comes with so much responsibility and pressure, you only have to look at Rapha's forehead to know what he meant.  Not to mention that everyone is against his way of doing things, he doesn't want to be the leader, but when he tries, nobody listens to him! He gets results, right?  What is the problem, then??  Maybe he doesn't take it too seriously, but he just doesn't want to do this.  Must be a bad dad joke and by this point, it's not funny anymore. 

The cracks appeared recently and Draxum says that he knows someone who might have an answer for her, he honestly just wants to accomplish this one more mission to prove her point, until a cute boy shows up.

------

 I thought about this comic as a way in which I would like to develop different aspects such as trauma, sexuality, their relationships with each other, and insecurities of the characters within the TMNT universe, etc.  Since I didn't want this to get stuck on just in one ship.  This led me to make the comic longer than I originally intended... and I mean A LOT longer.

For example, the typical rivalry between Leonardo and Raphael, but taken in a different way where Rapha tried to be like a mentor/guide for Leo developing their friendship (just like in the movie)

Donnie's problems over the idea that Draxum is now one of the good guys and he honestly doesn't believe him and doubts that someone like him can change so quickly.

 Show a nice relationship between Mikey and Leo, where Angelo acts as a support for his brother and Leo is really willing to listen to Mikey's concerns.

 I had planned that after Leo, Donnie would be the one who gets along best with Usagi although no one knows why, maybe it's because they are both quite quiet.  At some point, Usagi turns to Don to tell him about his confused feelings for Leo, but Donnie would not be of much help in this regard because I was thinking of doing him aro/ace hahaha therefore he does not understand 100% what is happening to these two but he is sure They like each other and it's annoying to hear them both being so dramatic.

Another relationship I wanted to show would be Rapha's with Cass.  In other adaptations, we saw that they have been very close and I wanted them to get along in some way in my AU.  For example that Rapha and Cass started talking to each other since he helped her with anger management issues and getting over her past as part of the Foot Clan.

 Leosagi wouldn't be the only ship in the AU either.  I love Cass x April and I imagine them in a dynamic of enemies to lovers, for me they are girlfriends and I don't care what the rest say they love each other.  Since they helped each other grow up, Splinter was the first to notice that they both have a lot in common even if they don't notice it.

Venus de milloooo, she will definitely have an antagonist role~ a turtle that splinter forgot to take and after surviving on her own in the streets of the hidden city. She ended up in the hands of big mama, being one of her champions in the battle of the nexus, earning her trust, leveling up and working for her as her right hand.

 Finally, I think about including other characters for which I already have designs and others I don't see idk I want to pamper myself.  Everything is possible.

Comic part 1

note 1: to be honest I doubt very much that I will draw the complete story that I develop for this Au, due to lack of time and nobody is paying me asdhadkjk at most a couple of vignettes of my favorite parts, explain the context, fanarts, and designs. But nothing more, I would let the fandom do what they want with this idea, just write leosagi fanfics please, I emotionally depend on that.

note2: I really want to thank @herm_izz and @nanakase_01 for helping me with the art and the script. THEY ARE SO AMAZING JUST GO AND FOLLOW THEM ON TWITTER

note3: I know my English sucks I'm doing my best :')

[ghost-1-y]

Temptation

Angel!Mitsuri x AFAB!Succubus!Reader

Content Warnings: MDNI, dark content, sacrilege, blasphemy, religious themes, dubcon (aphrodisiac), manipulation, sexual content, dom!reader, sub!Mitsuri, unprotected sex, oral (reader receiving), scissoring, virginity loss (Mitsuri), corruption k!nk, praise k!nk, degradation, hair pulling, concepts of "purification" and "chastity", concepts of sex and sexuality being "dirty" and "sinful", slight mentions of blood (not in a sexual context), use of bible verses (in italics), references to bible passages/stories, people who are religious may find this content offensive, please read with caution

Summary: Mitsuri had always done what she was told to do, glorifying her god and helping those who needed it. She never once thought about breaking the rules – much less her vow to chastity, until she found what initially appeared to be a human in a darkened alleyway in need of help, unknowingly falling into a trap that would corrupt her from holiness for the rest of eternity.

Word Count: ~3.3k

Divider Credit: the wonderful @/benkeibear

A/N: so, I used to be religious (Christian), so a lot of this might've come out of my own personal traumas that I experienced (eg. the concept of purification and chastity and being ashamed of having "dirty" thoughts). Obviously, I no longer hold these views (as evidence by writing these fics LMAO), but that somewhat influenced how I wrote this fic, maybe some of y'all will be able to relate? I hope you enjoy!!

Let your light shine before them in such a way that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father who is in heaven.

Mitsuri loved the world, she loved humans and nature and all the beauty that existed in between. She would watch the sun rise upon the earth and how it would cast its rays upon trees and cities as life basked in its holy light.

She loved the night as well – how it brought tranquility and peace as those she watched over rested until the sun peeked over the horizon once more.

She sometimes wished that her light would not interfere with such serenity. 

But the world also saddened Mitsuri, she mourned as those she loved from afar returned to dust underneath grassy knolls; her heart broke as she witnessed fighting amongst nations and arguments amongst lovers. She knew that loving the world would bring grief upon her, because the world was infested with sin.

The world would never be perfect, yet she loved it anyways.

So Mitsuri spent her eternity by helping those who needed it – taking on a human form so others wouldn’t be afraid. She helped by working in food banks and soup kitchens – oh how she adored those humans who set such wonderful services up – and would afterwards walk along roads to give food to those who, for whatever reason, found such services inaccessible to them. She would volunteer in hospitals, helping the sick in whatever way she could, and would listen to their stories and offer comfort should they share their suffering with her, holding their hand in hers to offer support – however small. 

It was not a coincidence, then, that she caught sight of you, a human lying alone in a darkened alleyway, isolated from the bustling street that was doused in sunlight. You were covered in shadows to the point where it looked like darkness emanated from your body itself, curled up and alone – hiding within the stench of garbage and discarded roadkill.

Mitsuri approached you – her kindness limitless and unbounded by fear as her light blessed your shadowed figure, gentle and warm – a light that was neither blinding nor dim as you looked up at her.

“Are you alright, my love? My name is Mitsuri, I saw you here and wanted to help,” she smiled sweetly. It didn’t matter what language you spoke, since Mitsuri’s words would translate perfectly once they fell from her lips and graced your ears.

Burning lips and a wicked heart are like a potsherd covered with silver dross.

Teary eyed, you smiled up at her, “Thank you, I didn’t think anyone would come, but you’re here now.” Mitsuri’s gentle eyes looked over your condition, a cut on your forehead which was seeping a dark red, and smudges of dirt all over your body.

“Oh, love, let me get you cleaned up a bit!” Mitsuri exclaimed as she secretly materialized some cotton pads, pretending to fish them out of her pocket. She wiped the blood that was dripping down your face, “I don’t have antiseptic wipes on me, would you wait here as I go get them from a convenience store?” You nodded, staring past her shoulder. 

If Mitsuri knew any better, she would’ve thought you could see her wings. 

Mitsuri rushed across the street and bought the antiseptic wipes, more cotton pads, and a couple bottles of water before running back to help you. She knelt beside you, and began cleaning up your face. “You know, you should take better care of yourself,” she smiled softly as she wet the cotton pads with water and began wiping away the smudges of dirt on your skin. 

You said nothing, letting Mitsuri work on you. Once finished, she stood up and held out her hand, “Are you able to stand?” she asked.

You looked down at her hand and reached for it, slowly encasing it in yours, with your index finger pressing against the pulse in her wrist. A strange flush of warmth spread through Mitsuri’s arm and to her chest, causing a shiver to move up her spine. She shook her head, and helped you get up.

The warmth continued to spread and fester within her, and she couldn’t figure out why – you were human, or at least looked like you were. 

You gave her a saccharine smile, “I appreciate your help, angel, but I have to get going – I’ll see you around, no?”

Mitsuri’s eyes widened at the pet name you let slip – you couldn’t possibly know what she was – it was a coincidence, that’s all.

She who trusts in her own heart is a fool,

But she who walks wisely will be delivered.

Still, it caught her off-guard, and if she wasn’t flustered before, she definitely was now, slightly panicking despite knowing that humans wouldn’t be able to see her wings, or halo for that matter.

Mitsuri stuttered, “Of course, I– see you around.”

Days passed, and Mitsuri started to believe you’d fallen off the face of the earth – completely unable to sense your presence or soul. Yet, the warmth she felt from holding your hand did not fade – rather, it worsened, beckoning her to drag her dainty fingers along her stomach and downwards.

She shook herself out of it, but the heat lingered and pooled between her legs, so much so that it started to drip down her inner thighs – yet she wouldn’t give in to the temptation, she couldn’t – it was against everything that she was taught, everything that she believed.

Or were the beliefs forced upon her?

It wasn’t until after forty days and forty nights that she sensed you once more. It was early morning, so early that the sun had not graced its rays upon the world quite yet. You sat underneath a lamppost, its artificial light illuminating the bench beneath you, but oddly failing to reflect off of your own soft skin.

“You’re not human, are you?”

You looked up at her, a glint of mischief in your eyes as you shook your head. Standing up, you walked towards her, causing Mitsuri to take a hesitant step back.

“Don’t be shy, angel, I don’t bite – not unless you beg for it.”

“I– I’m not begging,” Mitsuri muttered, as though she were trying to convince herself more than anything.

Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and she will flee from you.

You approached her once more, and she remained still. Taking her wrist in yours, you slowly graze your nails over the skin of her arm, tracing up and down as she spoke. Her cheeks were red, flushed hot with both the strange warmth that found its home within her soul and now the shame of actually seeking what she desired.

You both sat down on the bench, a shrub blooming with jasmine flowers alongside it – the rich scent flooding her senses as her eyes locked with yours.

Do not desire her beauty in your heart,

Nor let her capture you with her eyelids.

“Do you ever get tired of it?” you asked, fingers circling the pulse point on her wrist.

Mitsuri frowns, “What do you mean?” You take your other hand and place it on hers, tracing your thumb across her skin, sending butterflies into her stomach.

“I mean,” you started, “do you get tired of kindness? Of righteousness?” you questioned, “do you ever wish to know beyond those things?”

“Um…I–” she paused, swallowing thickly, “N-Not really?” 

It was a lie, and you knew that.

“Oh, well that’s too bad,” you pouted before leaning in towards her, “because I could show you things you’ve never even felt before, angel.” You glanced up at her, and you could see her eyes pooling with the desire to accept.

“I– I really can’t, it would– it would be against my nature.” An excuse, but a truthful one. If she consented, she would be damning herself – condemning her soul to the farthest reaches of hell.

It was something unthinkable for a being like her.

“Hmm, but nature changes over time, does it not?” you questioned, “if I’m not mistaken, I can see the want in your eyes. You desire this change, yet you won’t grasp for it. Why?”

“You– you wouldn’t be able to understand,” she stuttered, retracting her hands from yours as she formed fists with them in her lap.

“Angel, I think I understand more than anyone else,” you smirked, "to me, you seem lost – you're falling, aren't you, angel?"

You got up from the bench, eyes flashing a brief red as you looked down at her – causing Mitsuri’s breath to catch in her throat.

For the lips of an adulteress drip honey

And smoother than oil is her speech;

But in the end she is bitter as wormwood,

Sharp as a two-edged sword.

Her feet go down to death,

Her steps take hold in the house of it.

“If you wish for more than the mundanity of your everlasting life, you know exactly how to find me,” you told her, and before Mitsuri could look up at you once more, you were gone.

—

Mitsuri knew that it was wrong, she knew that it would go against her vows, her duties, her entire purpose, and yet – she found herself walking past that same alleyway each day, only peering into it out of curiosity before collecting herself and continuing on her way.

Until the seventh day, when she decided to stop in front of the alley, the sun beaming down on her as she stood just outside of it, as though the lined buildings on either side created a threshold that she couldn’t bring herself to pass. 

As Mitsuri peered into the shadows, she saw a figure stand up and walk towards her. She couldn’t look into the being’s soul – it was as though it didn’t have one at all. It approached her from the dark, and its silhouette depicted that of sharpened horns and a long tail which was pointed at the end. 

“Have you made up your mind, angel?” you asked sweetly, extending your hand past the threshold for her to take, “I promise, you’ll love how it feels to let go.” 

Mitsuri hesitated, but as she looked into your eyes, a fire ignited deep within her once more.

My child, if sinners entice you,

Do not consent.

It was all she needed to extend her own hand and place it in yours.

Shocks of electricity traveled up Mitsuri’s arm, much more intense than the warmth she felt before, it traveled deep into her gut, and her face flushed red as she was pulled into the shadows, fully enticed by you.

You pinned her against the wall, her back facing you. Her wings shuddered in excitement as you leaned in towards her ear, “I’m proud of you, angel,” you whispered, your breath hot against her ear, “I know how difficult it must’ve been to give in, I promise I’ll make it worth your while.” You grazed a finger along her left wing, nail lightly scraping against the feathers. She whimpered, her blush hot across her face as heat pooled in her stomach.

“I– I know you’re a–ah…” Mitsuri started, swallowing thickly before a soft moan escaped from her.

“A demon? Yes, angel, I am,” you chuckled, grabbing at her hair to pull her head back, “but I’m not here to hurt you, love, no, I’m here to make you sin.”

You turned her around and kissed her fervently, your lips sweet against hers. It felt euphoric, Mitsuri had never been kissed by anyone before – it was always said to open the doors to lust.

Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.

However, she melted into your kiss, malleable and pliable – eager to feel more of it, the fire inside her being nurtured and stoked as you continued to kiss her innocent lips. You licked at her, and bit down on her bottom lip before parting – a string of saliva connecting her lips to yours, binding her into damnation as she uttered her next words.

“Please, I need more.”

You smirked, and leaned in towards her neck, licking a long stripe with your tongue before kissing just below her earlobe, with Mitsuri letting out tiny mewls and gasps every so often. You traveled further down her neck towards her pulse point. You left marks deep in burgundy upon her as she moaned into your ear.

“I love the sounds you’re making, angel, make some more for me,” you purred, bringing your hand down towards her heat, pushing aside the white linen to rub your fingers along her entrance. “Oh, you’re so wet for me,” you cooed.

“Nngh, n-noo that- that’s dirty,” Mitsuri whined, and you smirked.

“Trust me, you’ll learn to love feeling this way.” Your breath was hot before putting her into yet another searing kiss. She whimpered, but kissed back, slowly accepting her growing addiction towards them.

You circled her clit with your finger, and she whined, face flushed as she tried grinding onto your hand.

“That’s it, angel, take what you need, such a good girl,” you encouraged her, rubbing her clit slightly faster as she ground into you, a blushing mess as she did so. Mitsuri’s moans got progressively louder, loving the sensations once unknown to her.

“Mmh–! I– I feel strange…like something’s building up in me!” she whined, “what– what’s happening–!?”

You kissed her once more, quieting her, “shhh, angel, that’s a good thing, just relax and let it build up, okay?” She moaned again, grinding harder into your hand as she obeyed your words.

“I– It’s gonna–! I’m gonna–!” Mitsuri’s eyes rolled back, letting out a strangled moan as she came all over your hand, juices gushing into your palm as she rode through her orgasm, her hips undulating until she couldn’t take it anymore – quickly becoming overstimulated from the feeling of pleasure coursing through her veins.

“Too– too much! Can’t– no more!” she cried, tears falling down her cheeks. You licked at each stray teardrop, the saltiness of it coating your tongue as you stopped your movements with your hand.

“Such a good girl for me, angel,” you praised, and she hid her face behind her hands in pure embarrassment. You took her by the wrists and held them down.

“Don’t hide your pretty face from me, I want to see every last bit of your pleasure.” 

Mitsuri whined and asked “can you– can you do that again, please?” Her tone was so sweet, begging for more like a pathetic slut who has abandoned all of her morals.

However, you refused, “if you wish for more of that, you’ll have to please me, first.” Mitsuri looked at you, confused, before you shoved her down to her knees, her face in line with your hips – the pretty lingerie you were wearing disappearing in an instant before you took her by the hair and pulled her towards your weeping cunt. “Make me feel good, angel, and I might consider actually fucking you this time.”

Mitsuri’s eyes dropped from your face down to your pussy, admiring how sweet and juicy it looked.

When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, she took from its fruit and ate.

So, she went entirely off of her own instinct as she brought her mouth to your heat, before licking at the wetness of it with her tongue. The sweetness of it coating the inside of her mouth like syrup; Mitsuri had never even thought of committing such lewd acts before, but now that she’d gotten a taste, she couldn’t help herself.

She started off shy, with kitten licks and tentative kisses on your clit. She may not have experience in giving pleasure, but she was there in the beginning when humans, angels, and devils alike were all created in the same image, and so she knew the insides and outs of their bodies unlike any other.

Her tongue delved deeper into your cunt, licking up any juices that seeped out of it, earning soft groans and grunts from you as you pulled at her hair. She adored your taste – it was addictive, a taste that she would gladly sin for if it meant she could feast upon it for the eternity of her damnation.

Her lips pursed around your clit before sucking gently, your eyes rolling back as she looked up at you. She whimpered, wishing you’d make eye contact with her and tell her she was doing such a good job – instead only receiving a few strokes through her hair as you thrived off of the pleasure that her mouth was giving you. Her own cunt was weeping, the heat from her abdomen becoming unbearable as she continued licking you up with her tongue – so much so that she reached down between her legs with her fingers, but before she could provide herself even the slightest bit of relief, you yanked her by the hair.

“You think you can touch yourself without my permission? Think you’re allowed to make yourself feel good? No, angel. Only I am allowed to do that. Any and all pleasure you receive, any and all sin that you commit, will be caused by me – for my sake.” You leaned down closer to her, breath hot against her face, “do you understand me?”

Mitsuri nodded, only to wince as you gripped her hair tighter.

“Say it.”

“Yes, I– I understand,” Mitsuri spoke softly as she removed her hand from between her thighs. 

“Good girl.”

You pulled Mitsuri up once more and, in an incredible display of flexibility, she raised her right leg so that it pointed up toward the sky, with you supporting her by holding her up by your hand. 

“Hah– you’re no angel, are you? Angels don’t act this way, y’know– you’re just a pathetic little slut, a pleasure-seeking whore that can never get enough,” you panted, before mounting your foot against the wall so your cunt was flush against hers, grinding against her wet heat. You grabbed her by the jaw and forced her to look at you. 

“What are you, hm? Tell me.”

“I– I–” she whined, “I’m– ‘m your slut…oh shit, ‘m your slut!”

“That’s right, you’re nothing but a stupid cumslut, aren’t you? Raised to be holy and perfect, but look at you, drunk on lust all because some demon tempted you. How pathetic.” 

Mitsuri whined as you ground into her, feeling absolutely no shame as she condemned herself further with each movement of your hips. The familiar tension in her gut started to build up once more as she took everything you gave her.

“Nngh– it- it’s happening a-ah– again!” she moaned, and you ground against her faster.

“That’s it, slut, cum all over my cunt. Sin for me.” 

Mitsuri’s thighs trembled as her orgasm flooded through her in waves, her mind addled with euphoria and lust as her pussy gushed all over you, her moans so raw and unbridled as she allowed you to claim her as yours, knowing she will never find pleasure like this through anything or anyone except you.

You are my God, and I give thanks to You;

You are my God, I extol You.

“My– my God,” she panted, “you– you are my God.” She knew it was blasphemous, yet she didn’t care, for she found a new being to worship, to love and to praise as she damned herself for the rest of eternity, certain that she would choose this over holiness in every lifetime if given the honor to do so.

For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. 

Amen.

Taglist: @oreo-creampie, @k-a-t-h-r-i-n-a, @wow-im-gay, @peanutpunchy, @love-me-satoru, @crazycatlddy, @pastelbluecloudy3, @dinosaur-crime-scene, @thisbicc, @gojoscumslut, @bisexuawolfsalt, @everyonesfinaldestination, @leehoonii-i, @kyojurismo, @briefrebelfanalmond, @izuoyarmin, @ahashiraswife, @d1gitalbathh, @homo-homini-lupus-est-1701

(If your name was crossed out, it means tumblr didn't allow me to tag you - apologies for the inconvenience)

I hope you all enjoyed!!! 💕

[batsplat]

Chad reed on always the entourages creating the drama. I cannot believe that is what caused rosquez downfall but also given the level of Vale's celebrity and the way he carried himself, I can totally believe that it was the entourage (iPad stand I'm looking at you) that brought the end

(about reed's 2020 quotes in this) yeahhh I mean the downfall was caused by a whole bunch of factors, not just any one thing... like all great tragic narratives, it feels inevitable from a global perspective and yet thoroughly preventable in its specifics, with loads of points where you think, 'oh, if things had just gone a little bit differently'... there's this tension in how, in the end, maybe it would've always gone wrong, but a lot had to come together for it to go wrong in quite such a spectacular fashion

reed's definitely correctly identified one of the factors - the entourages, and valentino's entourage specifically. though fwiw, I did cut off the article before reed predicted the marc/fabio rivalry was headed a similar way (this was from 2020, obviously before the arm injury):

for better or for worse, fabio has skipped the villain arc to head straight to the depressed frenchie arc

regardless of whether this rift would have happened or not, the idea that marc would have gotten a new appreciation for the situation valentino found himself in is at least an interesting one. though if anything, the rivalry with fabio would have more closely paralleled valentino's with the other aliens (new talent coming through, but with the previously dominant rider still a regular winner). now is the time marc's learning what it feels like to come back from a prolonged absence from being competitive at the highest level - and of course with a new superstar simultaneously making his debut

so yeah, anyway, tragedy, you can point to all sorts of strains and pressures and tension inherent to professional sport that were exacerbated by the personalities involved and the influence of the media and the passage of time etc etc. but never mind all that, let's get back to entourages! I know you mention everybody's favourite b-list shakespeare villain, but I'm going to basically mostly ignore him because it's well-trodden ground. yeah, it does help to have one guy who's whispering poison into your ear for a prolonged stretch of time before showing up at your motorhome doorstep with a bunch of telemetry and a dream. and yeah, there were people in valentino's entourage definitely encouraging this path to doom. but what I'm also interested in is the flip side - why nobody stopped him

I would like to submit into evidence this passage detailing the thoughts of vale's mechanic alex briggs. now briggs in this excerpt blames two groups for how things went down in 2015:

the yamaha side (specifically the press group) for not talking him down from the ledge before the presser

the crew chief and other assorted italians on the team for being too "yessy" and not standing up to him

let's briefly (for a given value of the word) focus on the first one. if you're a random yamaha pr person and you see the valentino rossi run to a press conference (given he was late) with a bunch of papers in his hands (well, he's not actually holding the papers in those gifs, but presumably somebody's got them), it's probably a tough ask to expect you to hold up the valentino rossi and ask him what exactly he's intending to do with those papers. also, is he really going to back off because you, random yamaha pr person, have asked him to please not accuse the competition of sabotage? added context is that some at yamaha were aware of what valentino thought about the race at phillip island (which we'll get to in a sec), but god knows if the pr people did. unless he confided in anyone on the yamaha side what the plan was, a lot of them would have been blindsided too - which does come back to the problem of how big a deal valentino is and how maybe you're a little more cautious about questioning what he's about to do with those papers than you would be with somebody else. it does feel like perhaps a bit too much to expect for them to have launched some last-minute intervention, or to even know what kind of intervention they could have gone for beyond low-level comedy hijinks to stop him from even getting to that room. why did nobody from yamaha place a banana skin in his path

but we do know that at least some in yamaha were aware of valentino's great big phillip island sabotage theory, because lin jarvis has very helpfully told us as much (from the post-sepang media scrum):

Q: Do you think it was a mistake for Valentino to [provoke?] Marc so much on Thursday with a very personal and hard attack? Jarvis: There are always many different ways of addressing different problems - Valentino chose to do it in that way. Perhaps that is what provoked Marc into being quite aggressive on the track. I really don't know, you need to ask Marc not me about that. Every action has a consequence. That's life. Q: And did you know before that Valentino was going to be so aggressive with Marc in the press conference? Did you know before? Did you discuss with Valentino about this decision or you didn't know until it happened? Jarvis: Personally, I was not aware of that. I was aware of Valentino's opinion of the race in Australia, but I was not aware... but I was not aware that he would - Q: Don't you think because Valentino at the end of the day is an employee of Yamaha he should discuss before with you about such an important decision, to attack a rider of another factory in such a heavy way [...]? Jarvis: You can't control every incident, everything that happens and you know, generally we have a very good [...] relation, connection with our riders, we talk to them before about things before, but anyway I think this is something Valentino felt strongly about and it was his decision and that's it.

note the use of the word "personally", which does leave the door open to others within yamaha (outside of valentino's inner circle) knowing what was going to happen. jarvis, unsurprisingly, comes down pretty firmly on the side of 'well what were we supposed to do'. given that jarvis admits he knew valentino's theory and is hardly a stranger to valentino's modus operandi - after all, he was already team boss at the time of another tense press conference in sepang eleven years prior that took place in the wake of valentino accusing a competitor of messing with him - you do have to wonder whether yamaha could not have tried a little harder to stop valentino. but again, accounting for the power of valentino's status and the power of his character, I'm personally unconvinced yamaha could've done much to convince valentino to change his mind

so then: the italians. a little bit of context - briggs started working with crew chief jerry burgess in 1994 and both of them were on mick doohan's team for all of his five 500cc titles. when doohan's injuries forced his retirement, valentino inherited his championship-winning team upon moving up to 500cc. jb was vale's very first crew chief in the premier class, and him as well as briggs have been working with vale since december 1999. understandably, this is a very tightly-knit group. it is one that made the jump to yamaha with valentino - here's just a quick excerpt (also from oxley's valentino rossi: all his races) about briggs' thoughts on that move:

When Valentino decided to defect to Yamaha, he was determined to have his crew go with him. Only one stayed at HRC. "We first got to know about the Yamaha deal in Portugal, I think [September 2003]," Briggs continues. "I wanted to stay with JB, because I hadn't finished learning what I wanted to learn. "I remember a clandestine meeting in the car park at Phillip Island, about salaries and how everything was going to work. It was really exciting. When I very first started working with Honda the whole group was very much a team. Towards the end we felt like it started to become a bit us and them: the engineers and management, then the mechanics and the riders. They'd sort of got too big for their boots - they'd designed this wonderful bike, so it was like it had nothing to do with us. That made it easier to leave.

and also about the move to yamaha, from the 2020 barker biography of valentino:

But with his trusted crew chief Jerry Burgess and most of his other team members from the Honda garage agreeing to defect with him, Rossi had the crew he needed, not only to win but also to enjoy his racing. It was a heartening display of loyalty and something of a risk for all involved. ‘When I announced to the mechanics that I was going with Valentino they said, “I’m coming too,”’ Burgess later explained. ‘Some of those guys were leaving very secure jobs and taking a big gamble.’

the group also survived the move to ducati (obviously a deeply frustrating two years not just for the guy riding the bike) and the move back to yamaha. but then, valencia 2013, valentino announced his decision to fire jb in a press conference organised for the pair of them. his 2013 season had been deeply frustrating - yes, he had gotten a podium in his first race beating both marc and dani, but after that generally speaking he couldn't come close to matching the other aliens when healthy. he was comfortably the fourth best rider that year, scrapping and clawing his way through midfield battles and having to rely on misfortunes befalling the three title contenders to achieve his podiums and his sole victory at assen. he was considering retiring at the end of the 2014 season once his current contract expired, but wanted to try everything he could to see whether he could be competitive again against the world's very best. and so, he made the decision to roll the dice and get himself a new crew chief, the italian silvano galbusera

now I have to say, personally I have a lot of time for this decision (even if it was maybe not... uh, enacted in the most graceful of manners, given how sudden it was). I come from a sports background where a certain ruthlessness in personnel decisions is encouraged and generally praised - if something isn't working, you should have the courage to make a change, even if it's deeply uncomfortable (including on an interpersonal level). also, while it was a sudden departure, it's not like burgess was that keen on sticking around much longer (again from the same oxley book):

Valentino ended his collaboration very suddenly at the end of 2013. Burgess was shocked but not too much, because he already knew that he was coming to the end of his own career. "When it ended for me I'd already been doing it 30-odd years and I'd told Valentino a few weeks earlier that I wasn't going to sign any more multi-year contracts. I was 60 by then, so I'd go year by year. I'd already signed a contract for 2014, but I would've thought if we hadn't had any more success by then that there wasn't much point in continuing. I felt we would win more races but I was more doubtful about championships. "I'd read enough sporting biographies to know that sportsmen change their coaches towards the end of their careers. It can give them a spike in results but it doesn't change the overall story. Looking back, Valentino's career went on longer than I expected. He enjoyed some success but no more championships and that's what you race for. Of course he was in the unique position of being able to get a factory bike until he retired. He was very special and deserved everything he got."

which, look. again, personal bias, but to me it's reasonable to part ways with somebody who doesn't think any more titles are plausible, because at that point it's just somebody who has a very different view on your career than you do and may well not stick around for much longer anyway. also, at the end of the day, jb was wrong! valentino came extremely close to winning another title, and just because he didn't, doesn't change the fact he could have. if it had rained on the 8th of november 2015 in valencia, we might be having a very different conversation. (or if they hadn't changed the bloody qualifying format post-2012.) honestly, if the 2016 and to a lesser extent the 2017 season had gone just a little differently - a working bike in mugello here and an unbroken leg there - he could have been a genuine title threat in two more seasons. in any case, what it does show is that valentino even at the end of 2013 was still as determined as ever, was ready to engage in what was a huge gamble (given how almost all his success had come with the highly decorated jb) on the off chance he might find what it took to win again. this will not have been an easy decision for valentino. here's a write-up of the presser at valencia, that stresses how uncomfortable the occasion was, how surprising a decision it was to jb, but how publicly at least there was a lack of recriminations (which, to be fair, wouldn't be much fun to do in a shared presser):

(you'll note that the phrasing in the presser about athletes attempting to extend their carrers by changing things up is echoed in what he says in that book interview where he adds that it doesn't change the overall story, again suggesting he didn't really believe valentino would be competitive. he also uses the same phrasing in ANOTHER interview that confirms as much, but I think you get the point.) valentino said at the time, "it was a very difficult decision for me because I have a great history with jeremy. he is not just my chief mechanic. he is like part of my family. my father in racing". this is somebody he'd been working with since age 21, somebody who is not only revered within the paddock for his work with several of the sport's greats but is also a man who valentino obviously has a close personal connection to. meeting for the first time when vale snuck into the honda pit to check out the bike he might ride next season, hitting it off immediately, countless rowdy dinners together, parties, jb and another older colleague sitting back when food fights started, watching valentino grow up, working with him throughout all his big manufacturer switches, all his successes and all his failures... as much as anything else, it's evidence of how strong vale's desire to win was, how determined he continued to be, to make this choice at this stage of his career. and jb was open to the idea (at least publicly) that it might end up being a smart call:

the 'dirtiest' part of the whole affair is how it was actually carried out - it's not great form to tell your crew chief the day before you end up doing a press conference together to announce your choice. for whatever it's worth, this is how valentino justified the timeline:

and lastly, which I think is the most key part, is valentino's belief. because at the end of the day, the only reason why he's doing any of this, and the only reason why what was to come was possible at all, is that he himself still thought that he could challenge for another title - as much as that belief had come under strain:

now what this piece also goes on to say is that nobody believes this will work. nobody believes that firing jb will lead to better results. people expect that this is going to lead to his retirement, quite possibly at the end of 2014. it's worth just remembering sometimes how extraordinary valentino's return to the top of the game post-2013 really was, how it went against how we expect a rider's competitive lifecycle to work, went far beyond the longevity exhibited by any top rider before or since - all while going up against riders who are widely believed to be some of the best to ever do it. valentino beat jorge in both 2014 and 2016, and remains one of two people to outscore prime marc marquez over the course of a season. not to engage in too much rossi prop here, but sepang 2015 can't really be understood without all the frustration that led up to it, to this one golden chance, this miracle that everybody had believed to be impossible (sometimes even valentino). this wasn't supposed to be happening. it was happening. and then, so so close to the finish line, valentino could feel it slipping, slipping, slipping away

but of course, we still don't know whether changing crew chiefs is the key factor that made him competitive again. maybe he just needed a bit longer to get back into the swing of things post-ducati disaster. maybe the bikes just started to suit him better. hey, maybe it was that nifty exercise regime he'd engaged in a wee spot of espionage for so that he could pinch it off his teammate. what we can say, however, is that valentino's choice both tells us a lot about his mindset, as well as (to finally bring us back to the actual point of this post) representing a massive shift in his 'entourage'. this is what briggs is referring to in his quote - the italians. the new crew chief. the people who couldn't stand up to valentino. now obviously, as mentioned above briggs had worked with jb for the better part of twenty years and can hardly be considered a neutral party. here were briggs' feelings on the matter (yeah it's from the same oxley book again, I got it new for eighteen quid which is a very generous price, would recommend):

When JB was out at the end of 2013 it was like losing my mechanic dad. I remember being in the garage when we found out about it. Then they arranged a kind of farewell, a kind of hodgepodge farewell. It was terrible, I didn't like any of it. I was just hiding behind one of the bikes in the garage, crying, going, what's going on here? It didn't seem right to me. I think maybe Valentino thought he would get faster again sooner, but I think it took at least a year to get the taste of the Ducati out of his mouth. I think if he'd stayed with JB we would've won the championship in 2015.

which. look. we don't have time to unpack all that. but. the point is that obviously briggs wasn't exactly a massive fan of the change within valentino's team, and his comments about the 2015 season do have to be read with that in mind. as to whether vale really would have done better in 2015 with jb at his side, your guess is as good as mine. all that being said, a part of me wonders how much losing that grounding presence enabled valentino's late-2015 spiral. maybe not in terms of talking valentino out of the great big fluctuating lap times treachery theory - to state the obvious, valentino got himself involved in plenty of drama during jb's time as a crew chief. jb himself occasionally helped add fuel to the fire in those feuds, like his infamous comment about how he would be able to fix the ducati's issues in 80 seconds that casey still brings up every three business days (the comments were poorly phrased but also somewhat taken out of context, in that jb was talking about a specific set-up problem). he's generally been pretty happy to be forthright about valentino's rivals, for instance this about casey:

My feeling at the time was that Casey probably only had one game plan, and having watched Casey over the years, he doesn't have a plan B. If it doesn't go his way from the outset, it's probably one of the weaknesses that he had through the youth that he had, through the lack of experience that he had. That's not a criticism of him per se, he was still only 22 at the time.

(this is about laguna seca 2008 and how he helped valentino win that race, including in plotting out vale's rather ruthless tactics - which casey was of course not exactly a fan of.) or these. uh. harsh comments about dani from spring 2010:

Q: Is that atmosphere or track knowledge? Is it like the Spanish finding something extra at the racetracks in Spain? JB: Well, therein we show the weakness, don't we? If you can get up on that weekend, on the technical racetracks of Spain, why can't you get up on the technical racetracks like Australia, where the Italians do? Lorenzo is a guy who will and does. Stoner has been able to get up on tracks all over the world. Unfortunately, Dani Pedrosa's into his 6th year in MotoGP, and he's won 8 races, Jorge Lorenzo's two months into his 3rd and he's won 6. It's night and day between those two, is the way I see it. Dani's an extremely fast rider, but a shockingly poor racer. Q: Were you surprised at Jerez [2010] when Pedrosa fought back when Lorenzo passed him? JB: When did Dani fight back? With two laps to go, and he didn't even get close enough to try to come back. Dani has never been a fighter in races, he's a lovely kid, don't get me wrong, but you can see that Lorenzo, having Pedrosa in front of him, it was never going to be the way he was going to finish that race. He was going to finish on the ground or he was going to finish in front of Pedrosa. That's the sort of race that we want, we had that with Biaggi and Valentino, and from history with Schwantz and Rainey. All the good riders have always had somebody they have had to put the target on the back of. It was Doohan and Gardner, and Doohan won that battle hands down, and I think Jorge Lorenzo's going to win this battle [with Pedrosa] hands down.

kind of a dick! so his attitude to valentino being valentino has generally been a) well having enemies is good, actually, with an added slice of b) good luck to his enemies :) - see also this quote (from the barker biography) in the context of the gibernau rivalry:

And that made Rossi even more dangerous, as Jerry Burgess pointed out: ‘Valentino is the sort of rider I wouldn’t want to get angry. He can take you apart on the track.’

so yes, jb is also perfectly brutal in his own right, as you presumably have to be to work alongside valentino so closely for so long. he is, however, also somebody valentino has a massive amount of respect for, somebody who helped turn him into a legend and is responsible for a lot of vale's success - not least, of course, in the pivotal move to yamaha. he was replaced by a man of a far far lesser stature in the sport, one who presumably would have been grateful to valentino for the biggest job he was ever going to get. if briggs is right and there was a shift in valentino in 2015, surrounded as he was by italians (derogatory) who could not stand up to him, who allowed valentino to insist on war and peace on the pit boards, to focus more and more on things that had nothing to do with riding... it would be going a little too far to say that valentino was missing an adult in the room given he was, in fact, in his thirties and should have been capable of being that adult. and who knows what jb would have said or thought or done about the great big childhood hero deception theory. but sepang 2015 was the culmination of a lot of things, including a pressure cooker of a season that grew more and more tense and put more and more stress on everyone involved - perhaps for none more so than valentino. maybe, just maybe, if he'd had somebody around him with fifteen years of experience in handling him, who could have just occasionally told him to knock it off, to concentrate on the racing, to keep things simple (always jb's defining philosophy), to maybe not get so wrapped up in the great big spanish collusion theory...

or maybe it wouldn't have mattered! maybe we're getting cause and effect all wrong here; maybe valentino was deliberately fashioning his entourage into one that was only going to give him positive feedback. maybe he would have just stopped listening to jb, maybe the very decision to fire jb makes it clear he was no longer interested in what jb had to say. it's a tragedy, after all! maybe it was always going to go like this. maybe it was always going to end like this

speaking of entourages, marc's manager played a bit of a cameo role in fanning the flames just a little further (article from marca, 26/10/2015):

alzamora obviously will be somebody valentino is familiar with, having raced him in 125cc and also having just coexisted in the paddock over the years. valentino could of course be lying, but idk, why would he? he's already made his case by this point, and what if alzamora were to contradict him? if it's true and this conversation did happen, you do have to say it's a spectacularly unhelpful intervention from alzamora. even if marc was mad at valentino, why the hell are you telling valentino this AFTER sepang 2015? what's the plan here buddy

^ 1999 world champions: alzamora in 125cc, vale in 250cc and alex criville in 500cc. people think motogp lore is complicated but if you know like, five guys, you're set for about twenty years of drama

which does get to the heart of the matter - a lot of these people have big egos and their own agendas and they love to run their mouths. they like talking a big game and getting involved in things they really shouldn't be getting involved in. is reed right that these people in the riders' entourages 'created the drama'? well, no, I think the two men at the centre of this particular tragedy were plenty capable of doing that themselves. nevertheless, you can point to how professional sports (and motogp in particular) forces you to rely heavily on a small group of people to keep you sane at the centre of the storm, and the risks that can emerge when that small group collectively unmoors itself from reality. you can point to the perils of fame, both in making your reliance on your inner circle so unnegotiable as well as in providing you with the status and power and ego to ignore anyone who might wish to change your mind. you can point to specific figures in this story who managed to incite the conflict between the two of them, as well as how the pressure cooker competitive environment they were operating within helped set up the ultimate catastrophe. you can point to how valentino lacked anyone with the power to stop him - both in the direct sense of forcing him to reconsider and the indirect sense of commanding his respect enough to make him see sense. maybe, just like in 2004, valentino had simply been "looking for an excuse" and he was always headed down this path. or maybe if somebody had just held him back a little that year, kept him focused on his riding, maybe if the right person had intervened at the right time...

maybe, maybe, maybe. that's why it's a tragedy

[lilyveselka]

On Jack Bright (An Exhaustive Perspective) [Edited 2/19/2024 w/ additional evidence!]

A couple disclaimers before I start: First, this isn't an "official stance." It's an explanation of my personal views; I speak for myself alone. Second, I'm not setting out to change people's minds or moralize to them; I just want to explain & respond to some common arguments in the fan space.

Third & finally, massive content warning for explicit discussions of grooming & sexual abuse. This includes screenshots. (I assume everyone is aware of this going in, but better safe than sorry!!)

Q: Why do you care so much, anyway?

A: Not your business, but I was groomed as a teenager in a very similar manner to the whole AB situation. Ok, on to the actual questions.

Q: First things first: Was AB/Duckman a groomer?

A: Yes, pretty definitively. First of all, DMs from one of their victims (who was underage while they were in contact; AB was aware of this fact).

[ID in alt text]

Maybe anonymous allegations aren't solid proof -- of course, there are public victims, but there are also screenshots of AB themself "joking" about being a sexual predator.

Straight up saying they want nudes from 14 year olds.

With the context of the first message -- the punchline is molesting/"corrupting" people who are underage (which they've publicly stated is a fetish of theirs)

This one just kind of... speaks for itself, I think?

[And again, ID in alt text for all these.]

These aren't the only examples, by the way -- just the most blatant. AB also explicitly wrote their interest in underage girls into tales on the actual wiki. Examples include the famed list, which implied Bright shouldn't be around people underage because he would come onto them (and that's without mentioning the blatant racism on there), as well as a now-deleted tale called 'Money, Money, Money' that involved in-depth description of a 13-year-old's breasts.

[Correction: my mistake, the tale was called 'Doctor, Doctor, Doctor.' You can find it here without the overtly sexual description of a child's body — it took 8 years (!!) for AB to remove these passages. Here's the original:

Highlighted in blue is the original edit history showing the article's content. Additionally, here's AB defending this on the talk page:

In addition to this, there's also AB requesting an artist draw incestuous rape porn — personally I find this far less heinous than a lot of the other stuff they've done, but I figure it deserves a place here too.

(iamnotadamnedmonkey is AB's old Tumblr handle, sorry for the poor quality screenshot!)

All new images also have alt text.]

Q: But AB is just the author. Why is the character bad?

A: A couple reasons. First of all, the character reflects a lot of AB's sexual proclivities, including towards underage characters, as I already mentioned in the previous point.

Second, Bright's popularity gave AB their social standing within the community. There are a few chat logs where they brag about people wanting to have sexual relations with them because of their work on the SCP wiki; also, it's pretty clear that creating something popular gives you access to a lot more people who are interested in talking to you.

When you manipulate fans wanting to talk to you into sexual relationships, it's pretty clear that you have the ability to access victims because your name is out there.

Thirdly, AB used Bright's amulet as a possession kink thing and would ask for nudes that had it visible. (And, you know, they solicited a lot of regular nudes too. What a great guy, who would totally never use their platform for their own sexual pleasure...)

Q: Right, but AB's not on the wiki anymore...

A: AB's publicly-spoken victims have politely requested that the character not be used anymore. Bright was used as a tool to access, manipulate, and engage in sexual contact with fans who were young and in some cases under the age of majority. Therefore, continuing to use Bright is disrespectful to their victims. Personally speaking, I also consider it to be disrespectful towards victims of grooming and/or sexual abuse as a whole.

Q: So you think people who still use Bright are bad people?

A: No, I don't.

Like I said, I think they're being pretty blatantly disrespectful. But I'm not the arbiter of morality or the censorship bureau. People can do what they want as long as it is appropriately tagged for.

However, the fact is this: if someone is publicly continuing to use Jack Bright, then they are doing something that goes against my values -- because my values involve supporting and respecting victims of sexual abuse.

I, personally, will not be comfortable speaking to them or seeing them in my internet space, and I'll probably lose a lot of respect for them if I had any in the first place. And since I consider my community to be a group of people who reflect my personal values and beliefs, I also do not and will never consider people who use Bright to be "part of my community."

You don't have to be a bad person to be doing something wrong, and I'll level with you: yes, I think promoting a known sexual offender & ignoring the requests of their victims is, in fact, doing something wrong. That's fine! You're allowed to do stuff that's 'wrong,' I'm not your mommy and I'm not going to call the thought police on you. But you should be comfortable with the fact that you're doing something that is going to upset other people. Using Bright will and does hurt other people, and that is not something that you can ignore.

I don't think anyone should be harassed. Obviously. I've received plenty of harassment for heading the rewrite project, and it sucks no matter who you are.

But I think people should get a little more comfortable with owning their decisions, instead of trying to argue that those decisions don't actually have any weight or consequences.

Q: But I can't control using Bright! [I have an introject of Bright/I have a DA to Bright] and it's not fair to act like I'm doing something wrong!

A: Sorry. Mental illness doesn't make you exempt from your actions having an impact on the people around you. I'll probably be more understanding if it's related to a mental health issue, but, y'know.

You don't have to do it in public. If you genuinely don't want to be hurting or upsetting other people, then you should keep your discussion of the Jack Bright character to private spaces, because otherwise you're still doing the thing you were respectfully asked not to do.

(I'm a system, just for reference. I understand. It doesn't absolve you of consequences.)

Q: I don't actually care about [your feelings/the victims' feelings], so this doesn't apply to me.

A: Cool. You can very easily block me, AB's victims, and anyone else who is vocally against using Bright. That's, uh, the point of the block button.

Q: I have something else to say that you didn't put in this post.

A: If you feel like being respectful or you have a genuine question, please direct yourself to the replies/reblogs/my inbox. If you don't, then please refer to my previous response. If you're blocked so you can't contact me, then, uh... don't contact me?

Ok, that's all my points made. Have the day you deserve, and hopefully it's a good one ❤️

[silvermoon424]

Disclaimer that I've never watched Utena because I've looked up the trigger warnings and it would be too much for me to handle and most of my knowledge of the series comes through osmosis but... I feel like one of the main reasons people think Utena is this cutesy wutesy sapphic anime is because some of its more romantic moments between Anthy and Utena have been referenced in other material devoid of its original context. The referencing in and of itself is not an inherently bad thing (I strongly believe creators should be allowed to wear their influences on their sleeve) but with a combination of Utena becoming more obscure through the passage of time and fandom playing telephone with references, a lot of the original context of Anthy and Utena's relationship and the show in general is much less known than when it was first published/aired. There was a comic I recently read which I realised very early on was basically RGU but the races of the couple were switched which lead to some... unfortunate implications and just made me think the creator only saw Anthy and Utena as this uwu sapphic couple to be 100% unironically emulated with no conflict outside of paint-by-numbers mutual pining.

Yeah, there's absolutely a huge disconnect between "Utena: The Actual Show" and "Utena: Pop Culture Version." It's iconic as a sapphic series and Utena and Anthy are one of the most well-known lesbian couples in all of anime, but the series itself is very messy and uncomfortable a lot of the time.

Also, a lot of people who haven't seen the series play the whole "Prince Utena" thing straight when in reality Utena's fixation on being a prince prevents her from truly connecting with and understanding Anthy. Only after Utena comes to the realization that she's been using Anthy just like everyone else is she finally able to save her.

[etz-ashashiyot]

So what’s the modern interpretation of the laws about keeping slaves? I’ve heard that said laws where a lot more kind to slaves then the surrounding nations but, like, it’s still slavery?

Hi anon,

With Pesach coming up, I'm sure that this question is on a lot of people's minds. It's a good question and many rabbanim throughout history have attempted to tackle it. Especially today, with slavery being seen as a moral anathema in most societies (obviously this despite the fact that unfortunately slavery is still a very real human rights crisis all over the world), addressing the parts of the Torah that on the surface seem to condone it becomes a moral imperative.

It's worth noting that the Jewish world overall condemns slavery. In my research for this question, I came across zero modern sources arguing that slavery is totally fine. I'm sure that if you dug deep enough there's some fringe wacko somewhere arguing this, but every group has its batshit fringe.

Here are some sources across the political and religious observance spectrum that explain it better than I could:

Chabad (this article is written by Rabbi Tzvi Freeman, a wonderful rabbi whose words I have learned deeply over the years. He is one of my favorite rabbis despite not seeing eye to eye with a lot of the Chabad movement)

Conservative (to be clear: this is my movement; it's not actually politically conservative in most shuls, just poorly named. We desperately need to bully them into calling themselves Masorti Olami like the rest of the world. It's [essentially] a liberal traditional egalitarian movement.)

Conservative pt. 2 (different rabbi's take)

Reform (note that this is from the Haberman Institute, which was founded by a Reform rabbi. Link is to a YouTube recording of a recent lecture on the topic.)

Chareidi (this rabbi is an official rabbi of the Western Wall in Israel, so in a word, very frum)

Modern Orthodox

I want to highlight this last one, because it is written by the Rosh Yeshiva of Yeshivat Chovevei, which is a progressive Modern Orthodox rabbinical school. They work very hard to read Torah through an authentically Orthodox lens while also maintaining deeply humanist values. As someone who walks a similar (if not identical) balancing act, this particular drash (sermon) spoke very deeply to me, and so I'm reposting it in its entirety**

[Edit: tumblr.hell seems real intent on not letting me do this in my original answer, so I will repost it in the reblogs. Please reblog that version if you're going to. Thanks!]

Something you will probably notice as you work your way through these sources, you'll note that there are substantially more traditional leaning responses. This is because of a major divide in how the different movements view Torah, especially as it pertains to changing ethics over time and modernity. I'm oversimplifying for space, but the differences are as follows:

The liberal movements (Reform, Renewal, Reconstructionist, etc.) view halacha as non-binding and the Torah as a human document that is, nevertheless, a sacred document. I've seen it described as the spiritual diary of our people throughout history. Others view it as divinely inspired, but still essentially and indelibly human.

The Orthodox and other traditional movements view halacha as binding and Torah as the direct word of G-d given to the Jewish people through Moshe Rabbeinu (Moses) on Mt. Sinai. (Or, at a minimum, as a divinely inspired text written and compiled by people that still represents the word of G-d. This latter view is mostly limited to the Conservative and Modern Orthodox movements.)

Because of these differences, the liberal movements are able to address most of these problematic passages by situating them in their proper historical context. It is only the Orthodox and traditional movements that must fully reckon with the texts as they are, and seek to understand how they speak to us in a contemporary context.

As for me? I'm part of a narrow band of traditional egalitarian progressive Jews that really ride that line between viewing halacha as binding and the Torah as divinely given, despite recognizing the human component of its authorship - more a partnership in its creation than either fully human invention or divine fiat. That said, I am personally less interested in who wrote it literally speaking and much more interested in the question of: How can we read Torah using the divinely given process of traditional Torah scholarship while applying deeply humanist values?

Yeshivat Chovevei does a really excellent job of approaching Torah scholarship this way, as does Hadar. Therefore, I'm not surprised that this article captures something I have struggled to articulate: an authentically orthodox argument for change.

[stuckinapril]

do you ever fear ending up alone?

yes but very specifically in the context of passing time and what that entails. sometimes i look around me and i see that i’m blessed w so much—a family that adores me, amazing friends, a great living situation, a fuck ton of luck to be in the position i’m currently in—and i get really fucking sad because i don’t think the future’s all that. i’ve never been the kind of person to fantasize about a romance / someone to settle down with. genuinely. i’ll have crushes as much as the next girl, but ultimately my love has always been fed through friends and family.

and to put it bluntly?? those connections tend to dwindle with age. some family members die (my heart is aching even typing this), some friends get married and move away. from what i see a lot of people start giving less of a fuck about friendships in their 30s and more of a fuck about their families (not really my area of interest).

the future is fun to look forward to—i’m not saying it’s not. it’s just the paradox of “my life is perfect now, i don’t know if i want anything to change” and so desperately wanting to press pause on the passage of time (but time stops for no one). i have a lot of goals i’m working towards & i’m excited to see how an older, more refined version of me is. but honestly no amount of romanticization can overshadow how scared i am of the grief that comes w the death of a lot of bonds i hold close to my heart (whether literal or metaphorical death). and i know when that happens i’ll feel very incredibly alone.

[0x1000]

Any more fics coming soon? Love your work!

I'd like to say "yes", but I kinda don't have any... Aside from a few thousand words worth of a sequel to TAS that I ended up not liking or finishing. =| SIGH.

I have ideas for fics all the time, certainly—but I struggle writing these things without a unique concept to impart... I need, like, a thesis to defend. Which is a really funny thing to say when being asked about your robot porn. But it is true, at least for me. I require stimulation both sexual AND cerebral. Cranking it straight up sapiosexual style.

Written erotica is far stranger of a beast than visual erotica—it requires both lurid context and lurid detail. It's a lot less immediate, and that's sort of what I struggle with. That's why I inevitably pen thousands of words of preparatory preamble before nary a penis has the chance to appear, let alone penetrate.

Basically, my problem is that I think I've already gotten across most of what I'd like to convey...? Regarding ULTRAKILL, at least. And what I haven't would be much better expressed after some loose ends are tied up in canon itself, once the game is complete. I fear redundancy—and while I doubt one would describe any one rhythmic thrust in the sequence of sex as "repetitive" or "trite", I'd just prefer to wait until I have something I'm confident in the quality of.

... That being said, I was contemplating writing a new fic as recent as "literally yesterday". So I mean. Who knows!

But! As compensation for your kind words, here's a BUNCH of passages from the TAS sequel that I kinda scrapped:

[mmoodd-jobutupaki]

*takes a deep breath* AHHHHHDKAJFKSJA

I JUST WATCHED BOY AND THE HERON AND I LOVE IT SM AND IT'S SO GOOD.

So obvs, it's studio ghibli, it's gna be some of the prettiest stuff you've ever seen. So many scenery frames made me think "I'm gna scour the internet for them and repaint them as art practice. It resembles smudgy oil paintings rather than studio ghibli's gouache style (see spirited away, Totoro) but it's honestly beautiful nonetheless, and seeing it on the big screen made me feel like I was in the movie. There's even a stone passage that looks like the one from Coraline. The animation works so smoothly to make the film an overall wonderful immersive experience.

The character design was so good. You have your classic ghibli, countryside, apron wearing girl. Your boy with spiky hair. And probably the best addition of a butch seafarer, Kiriko, dubbed by Florence Pugh (oh my goodness I am too gay for this). The grannies were so inexplicably lovely and visually distinct I just want a hug from them. The wizard (Mark Hamill having this otherworldly yet grounded design and amazing hair. The heron was oddly grotesque without being scary (this is such a gift only japanese have.) and his various designs fluctuate along with the story. I was surprisingly intrigued by the fact that even in crane form, he had human teeth. And ofc THE WARAWARA.

GOSH THEY ARE ADORABLE I LOVE THESE DAMN TAPIOCA PEARL LOOKING THINGS THEY HAD ME SQUEALING IN THE THEATRE EITH HOW CUTE THEY ARE.

The score is beautiful and I dare say that it's on par, maybe even better than the Spiderverse score (and that's REALLY HIGH praise coming from me, I love the Spiderverse score to the point where it's on my Spotify wrapped.) I loved how the use of motifs, especially in relation to magic in the film. And definitely need to go give it more listens. 11/10 would recommend listening to it even outside of the film, it's just that great, give it a Grammy or smth.

Humor in this film is hilarious without being corny. It's very on the nose, what's currently happening in the scene humor. Characters (won't say who) also have amazing dynamics that supply a lot of humor for the film. Obviously we have that last snippet from the trailer and I'll give you this out of context "Mahito's turned into a parakeet"

The story is very easy to follow. The first half of the story is very grounded. And even in the second fantastical half, the visuals and little sprinkles of just the right amount of information help to guide us through the amazing fantastical world. Nothing ever feels too spoonfed to the audience or too overwhelming.

Spoilers below the cut

Character was great too. The main cast each have a very touching emotional aspect and nothing is what it seems, not from the trailers and not even within the show. Characters go on journeys you never could've expected from the beginning of the show. Such as the heron, who I genuinely thought from trailers was gna be the bad guy but turned into a genuine, squat goblin companion. And the parakeet king goddamn I thought he was gna be a good guy with his "we must protect this world" gig, not some giant cannibalistic parakeet with a surprising penchant for sneaking. Anyway, I especially loved how we meet characters almost multiple times with how we're introduced to different versions of them. Kiriko>>>

The moral of this story had me confused ngl, but I'm fcking dumb and need to go read some analysis so ignore this. The main message I got was that "Life is shit. But it's worth living and I can make it better for myself. Through friends, I don't have to be alone through it all" which made me tear up ngl since I've been struggling with life this year and seeing how our boy Mahito went from being a closed off lil squat to that *cries*. Personally I interpreted the great granduncle and his blocks as seeing what's wrong with the system the older generation has built, and demanding more from it/straight up turning away from it. Also Mahito learning to let go of his mom. The pelicans wanting the best for their children and not always liking what they have to do for survival as a link to war soldiers @hamable . I also read from @simplysparrow14 and @rockpaperimpala the film is also Miyazaki coming to the realisation that 'studio ghibli will be his legacy and it will be put to rest, it won't be the same if continued without him and that's okay' and ow I just got hit in the feels.

To summarize the boy and the heron excelled, slaps, is show stopping, brilliant, awesome, a true work of art and soul and 11000/10 go watch it ON THE BIG SCREEN I am not joking.

[lavampira]

book recommendations

tysm @winedark and @rosenfey for the tag <:

passing it along to @hythlodaes @scionshtola @coldshrugs @likeabirdinflight @lesbianalicent @veeples @narrativefoiltrope @kirnet @disequilibria @jennystahl @elvves @queenofthieves @weird-ecologies @erielake @verbose-vespertine @solarisrenbeth @onceinabluemoony @queerbrujas @oldblood but ofc no pressure!!

1. the last book I read:

GOTH WESTERN by LIVALI WYLE — well. technically, it’s an indie graphic novel. but it’s a western meets magical realism about necromancy, revenge, and the power of love. and lesbians. I burned through it in a couple hours sitting because I was so gripped by it tbh.

2. a book I recommend:

THE HACIENDA by ISABEL CAÑAS — an absolute all time fave book in my heart; I would say one doesn’t even need to necessarily love horror to get invested in this one, since it also involves very interesting critique of spanish colonialism, religion, and class struggles in post-independence mexico only using hauntings as the lens to view it.

3. a book that I couldn’t put down:

THE PRIORY OF THE ORANGE TREE by SAMANTHA SHANNON — I was glued to this book for a solid two weeks despite its length. I have a lot that I would change about the pacing and certain events or qualities of some characters’ outcomes, but it was such a fun fantasy read, and I had a difficult time even moving on from the setting and protagonists once I was done.

4. a book I’ve read twice (or more):

THE SONG OF ACHILLES by MADELINE MILLER — my first time reading this myth retelling was my freshman year of college, so I reread it again ten years later to see if it would still hold up for how much I loved it, and it absolutely did. the perspective of the man standing beside and in love with the hero interwoven with the tragedy of achilles and patroclus takes me right out and the passages that tumblr enjoys to quote from it have so much more impact in the full context of the narrative.

5. a book on my TBR:

OUR WIVES UNDER THE SEA by JULIA ARMFIELD — this poor book keeps getting knocked down on my TBR but I’m determined to read it this year. I’m intrigued by the horror of the protagonist’s wife ‘coming back wrong’ in a sense, and the recommendations based on its similarity to ANNIHILATION, but also the fact it seems to be a wlw scifi horror, too.

6. a book I’ve put down:

AFFINITY by SARAH WATERS — I wanted to like this one so bad, considering how often waters has been hyped up to me as The Author for historical lesbian novels and the fact it delves into victorian spiritualism, but the pacing felt so slow at getting to the point in the plot, and when it finally did, the twist put me off on finishing the end. it’s probably more of a case of ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ but I def had to DNF it.

7. a book on my wishlist:

GHOST STATION by S.A. BARNES — space horror quickly became a fave niche genre that I got into last year, so I’ve been very excited for this release, too. I’m also a fan of how barnes writes atmospheric dread and I have high expectations for it.

8. a favorite book from my childhood:

WUTHERING HEIGHTS by EMILY BRONTË — it altered my brain chemistry as a teenager in high school and I haven’t been the same since I read it. I distinctly remember listening to ‘you said I killed you — haunt me then!’ read aloud and having to pretend like it didn’t make me feel so completely unhinged in the middle of class.

9. a book you would give to a friend:

PIRANESI by SUSANNA CLARKE — I was recommended this one by a friend to begin with, so it feels like an even more perfect book to pass forward. I think it’s one of those books that’s easy to get absorbed into even if it’s not a typical genre one would read, and it’s such a life-altering experience to go through with the protagonist, too. the underlying message that we’re all changed by our own trials and we’re never the same as we were before lingers with me.

10. a book of poetry or lyrics you own:

CRUSH by RICHARD SIKEN — it’s taken me so long to finally track down a physical copy at my bookstore but it was worth it because it remains my fave book of poetry to date. I could quote so many lines, after how hard they’ve hit me, and some of them have influenced my own writing or pairings in some ways.

11. a nonfiction book you own:

HAVANA NOCTURNE by T.J. ENGLISH — back in 2015-2016ish I went through a true crime phase in the prohibition era through the foundation of the US mafia, and this is a very informative book on how the mob became tied to cuba and how the revolution affected it.

12. what are you currently reading:

AN EDUCATION IN MALICE by S.T. GIBSON — I stumbled across this retelling of carmilla set in a late 60s massachusetts women’s college after reading gibson’s A DOWRY OF BLOOD and had to give it a try. I’m enjoying it so far; the prose is full of thick emotional yearning and electric chemistry, and the balance in the narrative of toxic mentorship, historical romantic and sensual attraction between women without shaming them for it, and vampiric elements is really fun.

13. what are you planning on reading next:

WHAT FEASTS AT NIGHT by T. KINGFISHER — I only found out the other day that the sequel to WHAT MOVES THE DEAD was even released but I’m so desperate for the next part of alex easton’s story (and how eerily kingfisher writes horror) that it shot up to my next read.

[adelaidedrubman]

some scattered thoughts on plagiarism and sharing creative space in good faith before i turn my phone off and walk into the swamp 

so, this is a post i have avoided making for well over a year now. because i have spent well over a year minimizing, excusing, and trying to convince myself that i’m crazy and just imagining things. even more so, convincing myself that it’s worthless to talk about, because even if i talked about it, no one would particularly care, and i would only cause myself more heartbreak by officially confirming that. 

but the past few days in fandom have dredged up a lot of things for me and made me reevaluate. i’ve found immense reassurance from seeing how ready and willing everyone is to band together to keep the community safe from those entering with the intent to copy the work of others rather than creating their own. i won’t lie, seeing that unity and mobilization on my dash was at times bittersweet when it was interspersed by reblogs from someone who’d plagiarized me. 

but i also took the opportunity to move past the hurt and remember this is a community — seeing others have the courage to come forward and talk about the plagiarism they’d experienced inspired me to open up to more and more friends in private about my own experiences, and i cannot describe to you how relieving it has been to find myself validated and supported. sincerely, to everyone who has lent me an ear over the past few days, i appreciate it more than you know. i’ve been brought to tears several times, and feel like i now have the strength to talk about this. 

this is also a post i have backspaced on several time, because. well. frankly it’s difficult to even allude to the vague category of most obvious thing that was stolen from me without this amounting to a de facto callout post, which isn’t my intention so much as getting out my feelings and hopefully opening a dialogue about the lasting harm plagiarism does. 

so. i’ll just start by saying one of the most hurtful things about plagiarism is that it destroys the implicit trust that everyone is entering a creative space in good faith. most of us don’t come into fandom and oc communities preemptively guarded and ready to go looking for instances of plagiarism, and are far more likely to perceive things as incidental overlap than malicious theft even under circumstances where the latter is more likely. personally, it didn’t even initially set off alarm bells for me when i saw an oc with jestiny’s exact design plus color contacts and terf bangs also sharing prominent symbolism utilized in her story. 

my first instinct was to be welcoming and supportive in the spirit of celebrating that creative minds can find inspiration from the same sources. even as the symbolism began less and less to in any way resemble the context of said source material and more and more to resemble the version of the story i told, increasingly picking up elements that weren’t in the original but were sure as hell in my fic. in fact, i went as far as to offer resources on the source material in hopes that it would motivate the person to dig into it and find a way to make it their own, still hoping this was a case of overstepping taking inspiration at worst. 

it was after pushing my goodwill that far and giving an out only to then see another of my most well-known scenes copied down to my exact wording and pacing that i got the nerve to block. 

and i was naïve enough to think that would actually end it — hurt as i was by what had already happened, at least it was over. 

nope. 

even after blocking, i went on to see the scraps of another of my most well known scenes lazily repackaged. (i can forgive ripping off jestiny, but i draw the line at sullying poor daniel’s memory. he’s been through enough.) in fact, it continued incessantly enough that i have had multiple people independently send me screenshots of the same passage from within the past month commenting on how blatant it is. 

it should go without saying what a violation this was of my boundaries and my creative labor. every single aspect of jestiny’s story is deeply personal to me, both because of the extensive effort i have put into researching and crafting it and because of the pieces of my own experiences and emotions its founded in. 

but more than that, what sticks with me is the violation of the implicit trust and vulnerability that comes with choosing to share a creative work. i stretched my benefit of the doubt to its limits at the expense of my own mental health, i assumed good faith and tried to make space, and when i could no longer endure i quietly isolated myself rather than risk sowing discord or simply being a bummer in a fun time space. it made me no longer feel safe sharing works that were especially personal. the pain of the experience was one of the primary reason i put wildfire on indefinite publishing hiatus despite still loving the story and greatly enjoying continuing to write it in private. 

still, after the past few days and my own slow process of opening up, i am beginning to develop a renewed hope that we can act as a community and look out for each other. i still genuinely want to think we can by and large share creative space in good faith, and that people coming forward will leave us more ready to identify and deal with bad actors when they do pop up. 

and i have hope that i can heal and find ways to be open and vulnerable with my work again. that might mean soon thinking critically about how to curate my fandom experience in a way that will minimize having plagiarism thrown in my face, but for now that’s still a problem for future liz. 

for today, i just want to thank anyone who has read this far (y’all know i’m bad at shutting up). i’m still not ready to be super detailed in public, but if anyone wants to know more about the 5 ws and 1 h, you’re welcome to dm me — although i might be slow to respond right now, because i wasn’t being hyperbolic with the title. i am going to be on a camping trip in the swamp the next few days, and might not be online much. 

i am excited to have the time to unplug and reflect, and look forward to coming back recharged. until then, please know i am so thankful for all of you, from the bottom of my heart. 

[mitsvriii]

Speaking Out On Genshin “Stereotypes”

This passage talks about p3d0ph1li@, l0l1 b@it, yanderes, 1nc3st, and items related along those listed. If this triggers you, please please do not read. I do not care if you comment hate towards me and what I wrote, it needed to be said. Personally targeting my background, sexuality, and being outright disrespectful in your "comments", however, will result in a block.

First subject, rarepairs. A lot of people get made a rarepairs because they either don’t make sense to them or they just don’t like them. They’re called rarepairs for a reason. If the dynamic works (for example, if they don’t canonically despise or hate each other), and both of the characters are of legal age mind you, then it’s fine to ship them. This is the same for teenager x teenager. It doesn’t hurt you or anyone if someone ships, for example, Beidou x Candace.

Second subject, children. I shouldn’t even have to even talk about this in the first place. Just because a character in Genshin is 500 years old, this is pinpointed at Nahida, but is in the body of a child and looks like one does not give you ANY right to sexualize them. A lot of people use Nahida’s actual age as an excuse, yet when it comes to using Qiqi’s age they mostly stay silent. They prey on Nahida because they see her as a naive child, at least from what I have saw. Ao3 fics are a bright example of this, I was unfortunate enough to stumble on many of them.

Our third subject, pick me’s. Ayaka, Nilou, Keqing, Layla, etc are not pick me’s. Ayaka is someone that never had any friends, so of course she’s going to be partially clingy around traveler. Nilou is a dancer, she’s not some obsessive yandere who will hunt down others for the traveler. Keqing and Layla are overworked, traveler has a calming aurora in some ways, and helps them relax. They can be themselves around traveler because traveler never judges them.

The fourth subject revolves around the anemo men. The amount of atrocious things that have been written about them, too. Just because they’re flirty and care for the traveler does not mean that they are automatically in love and obsessed with the traveler. “Oh! Xiao saved us”, “Kazuha saved us from the Shogun!”. Yes, they did so because it’s Xiao’s duty to do so, and Kazuha acted out of instinct so he wouldn’t lose another friend. I’m not stating that they wouldn’t be interested, just use more evidence than they saved us please. It’s not that difficult to dig out context clues.

Fifth subject is shipping the traveler with the older Genshin characters. Zhongli, Neuvilette, Jean, Lisa, etc. Keep in mind that traveler is in a 15 year old body, and everyone that I’ve listed is in their mid-20’s and up. I do not think that Jean would be interested in dating a traveler that not only looks like a teenager, and someone she sees as a friend and companion. Now Lisa is flirty with the traveler, but that’s her personality. She’s naturally flirty as seen doing so with Kaeya, Jean, and Mika. Same can be said about Kaeya and Lyney in terms of a flirty personality.

Six, saying Genshin characters look like children, or they’re revealing in terms of clothing. This game is absolute bait. It’s loli bait, they always sexualize females, the games “jiggle physics” are absolutely a standpoint of this. No child, or anyone for that fact, should have an outfit to when they glide you can see their undergarments. No lawyer should wear a short skirt and a somewhat mismatched crop top. No Shogun wears a short dress with a breast window. No shrine maiden should wear an outfit where there’s a side breast window. Ganyu’s outfit is absolutely ridiculous, no official of a nation should dress like that. The short males look like children, mostly Scaramouche and Lyeny, because again it’s bait.

Subject seven on our list is mischaracterization. Kamisato Ayato is not going to force traveler to continue the Kamisato bloodline. That entire idea is giving “Continue the Redfield bloodline Leon”. Lyney would not be toxic or straight up babyish in a relationship just because of his fatui background. Scaramouche would not give a shit if you left him during his whole God phase. If you’re going to write or say a headcannon about characters do research.

Eight, aging up characters in smut fics. Aging up a child or teenager in any smut fic is literally just someone using the “age-up privilege” to write smut fics about the character. Characters like Xingqiu, Bennet, Chongyun, and Razor are often targeted. Respect the fact that they are minors.

Nine, disliking popular ships within the fandom. It will not kill you if someone doesn’t like EiMiko (Ei and Yae Miko), JeanLisa (Jean and Lisa), and ZhongChi (Zhongli and Childe) for example. Stop saying that anyone who dislikes queer Genshin ships is homophobic.

Ten, making traveler out to be rapist, pedophile, obsessed stalker, etc. Traveler is just someone wanting to find his/her sibling. Stop writing them in a light that makes them seem like a horrible person whatsoever.

Eleven, Dottore and other villains. The amount of people that have been sent rape and death threats on TikTok for liking Dottore is absolutely insane. He's a villain, he's supposed to be bad. Same goes with every other harbringer. Just because they have some redeemable quailties, does not mean that they're automatically good. Morally gray characters exist. It doesn't matter if someone simps or likes Dottore, it's their choice, not yours. It's the same thing as a simping for and/or liking a villain like William Afton, Bill Cipher, Makarov, etc.

Subject twelve or the list, harassing cosplayers. Someone commented to "recreate the GMFU Scaramouche animation" on a cosplayers TikTok. Not only was that request outright disgusting, the cosplayer could've been a minor. I would say if they were or not, but they didn't have it in their bio nor did they mention it in the TikTok. Do not go around calling people "mommy", "daddy", saying "step on me", and items related just because you like the character they're cosplaying so much. They could be a minor and even if they weren't, you using terms such as the ones mentioned could make them uncomfortable.

Thirteen, disses of characters. Most of the time in diss edits or posts, they always put a strong character against one that isn't. For example, Nilou would not beat Ayato in a fight. She's a dancer that fights in a dance style. Ayato is a trained swordsman who know how to wield a sword and polearm, is highly intelligent (not that Nilou isn't smart herself), and runs a group of ninja/assassins. Do research before comparing characters.

Fourteen, hate the VA (voice actor), not the character. This happened with Tighnari's original English voice actor. A lot of people stopped playing him and hating him. I understand if you cannot play the character anymore because you relate to what happened with the original voice actor's victims, if so I am deeply sorry for you, but please do not completely bash the character for something the voice actor did.

Fifteen, calling Genshin characters pedophile's because they work and look after children. Baizhu was called a pedophile because he worked and took after Qiqi. Most of the talk has been died down, but it went wild for a little while. Kaeya does not like Klee romantically just because he held her hand, stepped in so no one would upset her, and helped her preform in the play in the previous summer event. Baizhu and Qiqi have a father-daughter relationship and Kaeya and Klee have a brother-sister relationship.

Sixteen, incest. Kaeya and Diluc. Kaeluc (Kaeya and Diluc), shippers are holding onto the scuffed Chinese translation of Kaeya's hangout with their life. They're adopted brothers. That is incest. If they were step-brother, half-brothers, and full-blood brothers that would be incest, too. Same goes for Ayato and Ayaka, Lyney, Lynette, and Freminet. Just because you are adopted does not mean that liking your adopted or non-adopted sibling is okay by any means.

Seventeen, cultural representation and colored representation. Everytime we get cultural representation in a Hoyoverse game, some of the fandom always makes fun of it. Yun Jin's singing, the instrument, which was a traditional Chinese instrument, in Blade's trailer that "sounds like a mosquito". You ask for representation and then when you get it, there's always people that make fun of it. There are only seventy released playable characters at the moment, and out of all of them there are only five that are colored. That is a ratio of fourteen non-colored to every one colored character. And half of the time they get whitewashed or their skin tone gets lighten in official art and events. It’s not that we don’t get some representation, it’s just that Hoyoverse takes it away or straight-up refuses to give it to us.

That is all that I have on my mind for now, I may add more later if anything comes to mind. Thank you for reading if you did.

[scintillyyy]

an overview of tim drake's training period with bruce

aka

what happened between a lonely place of dying and rite of passage (detective comics #618-621)/tim officially becomes robin (batman #455-456). very long and image heavy under the cut.

listen. tim drake training my beloved <3. so here it is in all its glory <3

batman #443

listen. so right after a lonely place of dying bruce *is* a little standoffish with tim. this has nothing to do with resenting tim and entirely to do with being worried about whether or not he *should* be letting tim do this, due to the potential risk to tim. even at his most stand-offish, he clearly cares about tim's well-being. he's always like. alfred, drive tim back to school.

batman #444

tim's training is starting in earnest, and bruce is shown to be incredibly patient and kind with him. he answers questions, but also pushes him to think things through. this is also where we get introduced to the idea that something is Going On with the drakes that bruce is actually a little concerned with. what we know is that a) they're fighting a lot and b) they don't call a lot. now tim says it's because they forget, but i honestly don't think this should necessarily taken at face-value! tim says this in the context of this idea that there's something strange going on with them, so the implication is that it's something potentially more than them just forgetting (because it's also noted they're around the world--and this is a time frame when it's notoriously unreliable to do international calls. hell, in robin ii: joker's wild just a year or two later, the whole problem is that bruce is overseas and they have absolutely no way of getting in contact with him! bruce wayne is even unable to make international calls easily). now a lot of people default to potential archeology criminals, but honestly imo i don't see that--the archeology hobby was something that dixon put in well after this. at this point in time the company and their business is only ever referenced as medical supplies. so while i think potential smuggling/medical supplies criminals is a possibility, given the time period and political tensions of the time my brain tends to wonder if they maybe thought about a potential espionage angle with them and their travels--jack is noted to be notorious tight-lipped on what they're doing *and* they're awfully busy for medical supply people. alas, this storyline ended up not coming to fruition and they were eventually just downgraded to affable socialites who were maybe a little flighty in regards to their son (and were on the verge of divorce). also interestingly--they didn't know that tim was doing anything with bruce at this point in time! notably in rite of passage they send the postcard to his school, not wayne manor (the school is the one who forwards it to wayne manor) and in batman #480 tim only ever references staying with bruce while they were in/after haiti, so it's implied the drakes were never told about this arrangement until after jack wakes up from his coma, and even then he only knows that bruce took in tim during/after the kidnapping.

anyways, tangent aside, bruce is very concerned about making sure tim is trained and is very helpful and keeps an eye on him. i do love that bruce gets so focused on his task that tim is following him around like "please answer me. please. bruce. bruce. bruce. what's going on. bruce." he's never mad at him he's mad at criminals okay.

batman #445

bruce leaves for moscow and lets alfred tell tim lmao. this is tim at boarding school. tim is very upset that bruce left without a word to him. i like the kid that's wearing the batman shirt. even if bruce is gone though, tim is more than welcome to come to wayne manor on the weekend to train with alfred (which is something he has been doing since this training arc started). hilariously, this is also around the time of the new titans #65 which is when tim goes to dick and is like "bruce told you to train me" but given what's happening in the batman comics atm it definitely seems like tim pulled a "bruce is gone? then i do what i want, and what i want is to hang out with 🤩dick grayson🤩". or maybe alfred gently suggested it. seems like something he'd do. listen i'd put this in here, but this is about tim's training with bruce.

batman #448

so the arc 'the penguin affair' is when we start to see tim getting field training. by now you can tell that bruce has really started to warm up to tim. he drives tim around in the batmobile (tim doesn't get a disguise or anything), he wants tim to stay inside where it's safe, and he now trusts tim to monitor the radio for him. he also casually teases tim at the end with the "you're 13, you'll understand in a year or two." indicating that they're getting a lot closer and more comfortable around each other.

detective comics #615

the penguin affair part 2. tim immediately tries to spring into action seeing that the manor is about to be swarmed by birds, but bruce hurriedly commands tim and alfred get to safety in the closet so they don't get attacked by the killer birds. tim is also shown to be a bit more understanding and smart about understanding bruce's tactics. he knows right away that bruce used ultrasonics to stop the birds and needs less explanations from bruce.

batman #449

the last part of the penguin affair. tim and alfred are relegated to dead bird clean up duty rip. by now bruce is very open about telling tim about what he found without tim having to ask. i do like that tim's there like "will he ever tell me his plans :(" and bruce is there like "i can't let tim know...i barely have a plan :(" but by now, bruce is clearly utilizing tim as a background asset to the batman thing, clearly thinking tim is competent enough to participate. he gives tim a clear task to complete and he listens to tim's input on how to track the birds. tim sitting so cheeky in the car <3 tim being called little bat <3

detective comics #616

in general, tim didn't make any big appearances in detective comics until rite of passage, so aside from the penguin affair the only tim he shows up here is in #616. for context, something is headed towards the manor to kill the inhabitants and bruce clearly called alfred to tell him to get them both out of there for their own safety (without explanation, of course)

batman #450

the last time we see tim during his probationary/training period before his parent's kidnapping and him officially being able to call himself robin is in batman #450, but we don't really see a ton of him. bruce has found out that the joker is alive (he was presumed dead after the events of death in the family) and is notably Freaked Out, especially for tim's sake. he pays for tim's entire boarding school class to go to tokyo for a trip *and* hires someone to follow them and protect them the whole time just so tim is safe. i also find it super interesting that bruce is also very concerned about himself and what he might do--you get the impression that bruce not only sent tim across the world so he's nowhere near the joker, but also so tim doesn't have to see bruce and how bruce might react to dealing with the joker again.

anyways, tim's training is precious. he baby. you see bruce go from a bit standoffish to genuinely liking and enjoying tim's company and how patient and concerned bruce was with tim's training. i love it.

[tildeathiwillwrite]

Changing of the Guard, Part 2

WoW Birthday Whump Day 13: Natural disaster / Shock collar / "Shut up!"

Prompt List

first part

TW: imprisoned, electrocution, earthquake

Context: It has been several weeks since Henry has been appointed as Dragon Keeper. Arcturus has come to value their friendship. But the magic designed to keep Arcturus imprisoned might be stronger than Henry had anticipated.

-----

It wasn’t the distant rumbling that signaled to Arcturus that something was off. He was used to inexplicable phenomena in a world where wizards could conjure storms and create fire with nothing but a source to draw from. Earthquakes were uncommon in the valley, sure, but not unheard of.

It was when Henry arrived hours before he was supposed to.

During the weeks since his appointment as Dragon Keeper, Arcturus had gotten to know Henry quite well. More than he had any of his previous Keepers. And the boy had not raised his hand against Arcturus. Not once.

He had a good heart.

Surprising, given the upbringing Arcturus had come to expect of the Order. But such was the passage of time for humans. Death came knocking, and new generations replaced the old, removed from the reasons for their ideologies. And so cultures change. Such a thing was obvious to someone with a longer lifespan, such as Arcturus. But anyone who’s studied history can come to the same conclusion. 

From what Henry had told him during their visits, it was pure luck which resulted in his appointment. He was one of many apprenticed wizards, never even set his sights on Dragon Keeper. But when Lars fell ill, the Order drew lots among the apprentices. It was clear by their actions they did not understand what sort of person was expected to be a Dragon Keeper.

In a way, Arcturus pitied Henry as much as Henry seemed to pity Arcturus. The boy was a black swan among his predecessors. It was only a matter of time before one of the more rigid members noticed his milder disposition. 

So the first thing on Arcturus’ mind when Henry entered the cavern, long before the day had elapsed, was that the Order had discovered what was happening.

“What are you doing here?” Arcturus asked softly.

The boy hesitated, the golden light floating above his hand flickering briefly before stabilizing. He’d gotten better at keeping his magic from reacting to his emotions under Arcturus’ guidance, but he still had far to go. “An earthquake has struck the valley,” he said, “I was sent to make sure you haven’t caused it.”

Arcturus snorted, wisps of smoke puffing from his nostrils. “These chains greatly hamper my magic. I might be able to shake my cavern, but not the entire valley to such magnitude. You know this. Why are you really here?”

Henry was silent for a long time. Far away, deep in the valley, the earthquake continued. The vibrations reaching Arcturus’ prison were pitiful, but it must truly be devastating if he could sense it even at this distance.

“I’ve decided,” the boy finally said, his light brightening, “that we are leaving.”

Arcturus blinked in surprise. “Leaving? We?!” It had been a long, long time since he’d been rendered nearly speechless from shock.

“Yes,” was Henry's response before he crossed the cavern, purpose in his stride. Arcturus watched him carefully. Was this some sort of trick? As the thought crossed his mind, Henry reached Arcturus and put his hands on the chains. He murmured the words to a disintegration spell, one Arcturus hadn’t heard in many, many years.

As the chain crumbled into dust, it glowed with electricity, a last-ditch effort in case of escape. The pain that followed was like a thousand sharp needles digging underneath Arcturus’ scales, burning across his body like wildfire. His muscles spasmed, and he could only watch as Henry crumpled to the floor, shaking and thrashing, the scent of burning flesh heavy in the air.

The shock passed as soon as it had begun, and Arcturus lay limp, focusing on his breathing and trying to remember the spells for healing. The chains were designed specifically for him, they would have released enough electricity to incapacitate him.

The boy had taken most of the bolt upon himself. He wouldn’t survive without intervention. 

And Arcturus would rather spend an eternity imprisoned than do nothing for the first human he ever considered a friend. The words of a healing spell fell from his lips as he struggled to get off the ground. The magic flowed around Henry, mending the damaged skin of his hands and sinking into his body. His muscles relaxed, and his breathing eased as the magic put him into a healing sleep. When he awoke, his memory would be the only thing remaining of the injury.

Arcturus didn’t dare do the same for himself. With Henry now incapacitated, it was up to him to get them both out. He gently picked up the boy in one of his claws and, for the first time in decades, walked along the tunnel to the outside world.

It was snowing, the tiny frozen droplets cold against his scales. Far below, the grove in the valley shook, still affected by the earthquake. Arcturus breathed the freezing air in for several moments before setting his sights south and spreading his wings to their full span.

How good it felt to finally stretch them out after all these years! He doubted he would get very far on them, weak as they were, but it would be far enough. The Order would never find them again.

“Don’t worry, Henry,” he said softly to the sleeping boy, “we’re going home.”

@fourwingedsnake @whumperofworlds