#comment exchange bingo

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Wasted Love {Part II}

Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Warning: Language, High Angst

Words: 6.3k

Summary: Nope.

Note: Posted the first part of this months back and finally getting around to part 2. I hope you like it. Look out for the final part.

As always, thank you for reading. I appreciate it!

As you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!! ❤️❤️

***NOT Edited/Proofread***

Previous: Wasted Time |

-Lewis-

"For fuck's sake!” He threw the controller across the room.  When it collided with the floor it shattered sending pieces everywhere. "Woah. Woah! What the hell?!” Andrew, Miles, and Daniel all looked at him with varying expressions of confusion, shock, and concern. "Yo, what the fuck is your problem? It’s just an L in MK," Andrew said. He sighed then rubbed his face, pressing a little harder than necessary. "Like we can go again, and I'll let you win if it's that serious," Miles said. He sighed again, his head miles, leaps, and bounds away from the video game, the living room, or his friends. His mind was still in that penthouse suite with you standing in front of him as you argued going back and forth both pushing and neither relenting even a little. His head was still there picking apart every word, every expression, every shuddered breath, every pupil dilation. "Yo, Lewis," Daniel called bringing his attention back to them. "Nah, this can't be about the game. Even you're not that petty," Miles said putting his controller down. "What's up?" He rolled his head around cracking each joint in his neck and shoulders. He hadn't realized until now how wound up he'd been over the last 2 and a half weeks. He also hadn’t realized how steadily his anger and frustrations were climbing too. What was him being in disbelief for the first few days after the confrontation turned into anger then annoyance. Right now he was festering and stewing in all three. He couldn’t believe that after everything you'd been through, everything you'd shared, the lengthy conversations, the trips to and from each of your homes, the late-night phone and video calls that lasted for hours and hours, the dates, the trips, the interactions with his family and him yours, all of it, you were here.

While he had thought you were building and strengthening and growing toward each other despite his insane schedule and lack of free time, that wasn't the case at all. If you had then there was no way you could have said the shit you did or believed he would do some shit like that. "Dude," Andrew began. "It's nothing," he lied. "Bullshit. It's not racing that's been going good, it's not the other hustles either. What, is it Y/N?" His entire body tensed at the mention of your name. That was different. Before, your name brought him peace, a smile and so much more. "Bingo. What is it? Haven't seen her in a few weeks, she too busy for your ass and you salty for it?" He was used to Daniel’s teasing, and usually, he would laugh it up and allow them to bust his chops, but right now Daniel was rubbing on a sensitive topic. Before he realized it he'd kissed his teeth. That action made all three of them perk up. "What's wrong?" "We're done," he blurted out as if the words were acrid acid on his tongue. They were quiet for a few moments, then Miles broke it. "Done? Fuck outta here. You're lying." "I'm for real,” he replied with a touch of exasperation in his voice. "What? What happened?" He sighed again then told them the whole story not leaving out anything. He wanted to hear their thoughts mainly because he felt they would take his side. As he went through the whole thing again he had to admit to himself that there were some things he shouldn't have said, things that he recognized fueled your ruthlessness, things he now regretted. When he'd said his piece he waited for them to tune in, however, a good minute passed before any of them said a word. They just exchanged looks as if speaking nonverbally and trying to come to a consensus. "She fucked up right." Daniel made a face. "IIIIIIII mean," he stretched out in that high-pitched tone that said even more.

"Hold on,” Andrew interrupted, “Has something changed? I thought you were all about her these last months. I thought since she finally gave you the time you were being real.”

“I was—am—was. Shit.”

“You slipped up?”

“No! It was nothing, it was work.”

They all gave him the look as if he was full of shit. Kissing his teeth again he rolled his eyes. “I’m telling the truth. It was work, nothing more. Hell I even told them that when they tried to tag team off each other to spit game. I told them I was seeing someone, and it was getting serious, and I wasn’t bout that life anymore.”

“That’s what I thought,” Miles said.

“I didn’t even know she was there. She showed me some fucked picture and she ran with that shit.”

“What picture?”

He opened his messages, found the picture then showed it to them. You’d sent it to him a few hours after you’d left when he texted you that, “You were fucking things up”, your reply was the picture and a simple reply, “Naw bruh you did that shit all on your own. Own it!” It was the last message you’d sent him. It was now almost 3 weeks later, and you were still radio silent.

“Woah, yeah. That looks bad,” Andrew spat out.

Daniel took his phone and studied the picture closer. “Is she kissing your neck?”

“No.”

Miles now snatched the phone and studied it. “And her hand--.”

“No. Nothing happened. The wild shit is this was a backroom photoshoot for the brand. We were posing for the designer for their social marketing.”

“Does she know that?”

“I don’t know. I shit you not, she blew in like a hurricane and within 10 minutes she was gone. She didn’t let me explain. Nothing. Someone sent her that picture.”

“Someone wanted to start shit and she took the bait.”

“9 months. 9 fucking months I’ve been bending backward trying to erase my past for her. 9 months I’ve been putting in wild effort to show her, prove to her I’m not the same dude I used to be, 9 months I’ve been going hard trying to show her what she meant to me and that I’m not fucking around when it comes to her, but 10 minutes and it all blew the fuck up. Now I’m angry, what the fuck was I doing this whole time? Why?”

They didn’t bother replying because there was nothing else to say. They knew everything he was saying was true. He’d cut out all the extra shit months ago because he wanted to get closer to you. He’d decided to be the committing type and he was happy to do it, happy to show you he was more than his reputation. He’d turned on plenty of trips, parties, and things of the kind with his boys because it would have backfired. He’d worked hard to earn your trust but in truth, he hadn’t earned anything. You still saw him as he used to be. And that was the hard pill for him to swallow.

~~~~~~~

-1 Week Later-

“Uncle Lewis let’s go in the pool.”

Snapping out of it, he smiled at his niece then nodded. “Of course princess, let’s go.”

He walked to the edge of the pool and stood beside her. As they prepared his nephew approached and began doing the same thing. As they counted down from three he jumped at 2.

“Aw, Uncle Lewis you cheated!”

He shrugged and watched them leap into the water creating massive miniature splashes of the one he’d just created. When they emerged they came after him trying to attack him like little baby sharks. Each of their attempts was blocked and turned around on them. When one failed he grabbed the other and tossed them across the pool then did the same for the other. Soon there was almost just as much water outside the pool as there was inside.

By the time he got out of the pool the sun was setting and he was exhausted. Dropping himself into one of the lounge chairs, he sighed and allowed himself to relax. However, relaxation wasn’t in the cards for him. Though the activity from before worked to distract him from his heavy thoughts, now with the absence of said activity it all came flooding back. With an exasperated grunt, he grabbed his phone off of the side table and then went to his socials.

As he aimlessly scrolled through the posts he liked a few and kept swiping. Some of the posts he registered others he didn’t. Within a few short minutes, he somehow found himself on yours. He didn’t even notice until he was staring at one of your recent posts, a picture of yourself staring deeply into the camera. It looked like something shot for a brand or a photoshoot rather than a natural selfie.

For several moments all he thought of was how fucking gorgeous you were. The saying ‘the eyes are the windows to the soul’ rang true for you because every time he gazed into them he was always pulled into their depths to drown in their beauty. Fuck, he missed you he thought to himself. On the 4th post he’d landed on he sighed seeing you laughing uncontrollably with your best friend. You looked like you hadn’t a care in the world; like you were blissfully happy. The thought hit him then that you looked like you didn’t miss him one bit.

Acknowledging that made his heart thud painfully then his annoyance was back. It was just like you to leave him to fall apart while you escaped with carefreeness. He’d always suspected that he felt more for you than you felt for him. He guessed that this was his proof. He tapped the tag in the photo of your best friend and found even more videos and pictures of you. The backdrop said you were either on an island or some European seaside town and you were enjoying yourself. He pressed his finger to the screen, freezing the video on your smiling face. Drinking wasn’t really his thing, but fuck did he want a drink or three right now.

“You’re messing yourself up.”

Snapping his head up, he found his mother sitting beside him.

“Mum.”

“Not only are you messing yourself up with everything you’re keeping in but you’re trying to use everything you possibly can as an escape, case in point this last-minute trip,” she finished.

“Mum, it’s not like--.”

“And according to Miles and Daniel, you’re spiraling inside, and it’s not a little.”

“I’m fine, mum, I promise,” he half lied placing his phone on the side table face up.

“You’re not. How could you be fine? The first woman you’ve allowed yourself to fall in love with in years has done a flip and turn because of your actions.”

His brow rose, “What?”

“Acceptance of one’s actions is important, Lewis. I have always taught you that.”

“Naw. Nope, I didn’t do this. I didn’t make this happen. She is a distrustful person.” He sat up straighter then, “I worked my butt off to show her she could trust me, to show her that I wanted her and only her.”

His mother shook her head about that. “If you’re still doing the things you know are triggers for her, how are you proving anything?”

He looked at her incredulously. He knew she liked you a lot and had grown closer to you over the past months, but he didn’t know when she’d completely jumped on your ship while abandoning his.

“Mum, I can’t control half the things she thinks,” he pleaded.

“The pictures Lewis. The pictures and your choice of words.”

He sighed then because he knew that she’d talked to you already. He was tempted to ask his mother for the play-by-play, but he decided against it knowing she probably wouldn’t go for it.

“It was innocent. It was work.”

“Did you tell her that? You know someone sent her those pictures? Someone wanted to start problems and it was too easy because you helped them along.”

“I tried to tell her, but she basically called me a liar. She looked me in my eyes and decided not to believe me. Plus it’s a lot more than she ever afforded me. She’s photographed with a lot of guys all the time; some work, some not, she doesn’t explain any of it to me, yet I trust her enough to believe it’s not something wild or disrespectful. Yet when it comes to me, I’m automatically the knob.”

“Lewis,” she warned.

He raised his hand, sighed out then leaned back in the chair.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Sorry.”

They sat in silence for a few moments before he continued. “She treats me like an option mum--a bloody option. This whole year, the 9 we’ve been together and the 3 it took to claim her, I’ve treated her like my only choice.”

The truth to those words was a truth he’d buried deep. His mother reached over and took his hand.

“Sweetie,” she began.

He knew what was coming, knew she was either going to defend you or try to soothe the pain he felt. He didn’t want either.

“She acts like I never said the words.”

Another truth he’d buried. “I said them, I meant them and she--she never said them back, never even acknowledged them.”

That night was still fresh in his mind. The night when his body and heart felt matched perfectly, it was the night he’d said the words he’d felt for weeks and weeks before. He’d stared deeply into your eyes and said them. ‘I love you.’ He’d meant them. He didn’t know he could still truly feel that way about anyone or feel enough to say the words. You’d proven him wrong, and he was cut up because of it.

 “Lewis, I’m thrilled that you’ve finally found someone that you want in your life for more than a few months. It makes me so happy that you have found someone to love. She is a wonderful woman, but, who cares what she does? If this is how you feel how you truly feel, if she is who you choose and wholeheartedly want beside you then you are supposed to be with it be about her no matter what.”

“Seriously!? No.”

“That my love, is the difference between a boy and a grown man. A grown man is one hundred percent true to what’s in here,” she reached over then pat his chest just over his heart. “He is about it, and nothing changes it because it does not matter.”

“How—H--how do I do that? How in the world do I put myself out there--,” he voiced before she cut him off.

“--And invite her to break your heart? Is she worth the risk?”

He didn’t want to open his mouth to even answer this. If you weren’t worth it, he wouldn’t have spent so much time perusing you. He never would have made so much of an effort to include you in his world and life, he wouldn’t have waited 6 fucking months to sleep with you so both of you were sure where your hearts were, he wouldn’t have ever told you he loved you. Of course, you were worth it but the memory of the look in your eyes as you spoke to him, the last thing you’d said to him held part of him back.

“I have always been and will always be that bitch with or without you.”

That coupled with the way you looked at him just before the elevator doors closed held him back.

“Lewis!”

“I—I don’t—I don’t know anymore.”

He rubbed his forehead. “I thought I knew, thought I was so sure, I was sure, but--I don’t.”

This was fucked, he thought as he felt his mother’s eyes boring into him. When she stood she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him as she did when he was a child after a spill. He took a deep breath and slowly let it out while he relished this comforting embrace.  It was in his mother’s loving and judgment-free arms he finally broke letting it all go.

Hours seemed to pass this way, or perhaps it had been just mere minutes. When his sister approached he felt heaps better but his heart was still heavy. A notification from his phone drew his attention as his sister sat on the floor before him. As he checked it, his sister gave her best attempt at a pep talk. Some words he caught others he missed but the sentiment was sometimes time helped people see the error of their ways and come up with ways to fix the errors. He didn’t know if she meant his errors or yours.

He went into his socials DMs and found a message from your best friend. After hesitating for a few moments he tapped into it and found a video. It took him to a recent video that was only available to her close friends. Your face came into view, and he instantly noticed the tears on your cheeks. You held your hand up to block the camera view, but the angle only changed.

“When bestie is tired of frontin' for the gram with the having the time of my life posts and allows herself to be sad and you gotta cheer her up,” your best friend said.

“Stop. You can’t record me like this. I’m not sad,” you protested.

“No?”

You were quiet for a few seconds. “No.”

Your voice was clouded as if your throat was tight words struggled to make it through. “Not sad—really, really sad,” you said voice a sobbing whine.

Fuck, he thought. He hated seeing you cry.

“What—what do I—do I do now?”

“Allow yourself to feel it,” your friend suggested.

You sobbed some more, and he watched your friend hug you before the video ended. So many things flew through his mind but the two things that kept coming around. The first was how much he missed you.

The second, you were worth it.

~~~~~~

-Y/N-

Everyone said that the first month of a breakup was always the hardest and those words were proving true. Since those elevator doors had closed you’d done everything to keep yourself moving. You piled on work to make sure you had no free time to sit and think. However, that didn’t quite work because wherever you went, something reminded you of him. Either it was a café or a location you went to for a shoot, or even something you ate. You nearly threw yourself into the ocean when one of the set interns brought you a glass of Almave.

When work didn’t prove successful, you picked yourself and your friends up for a girls’ trip to a faraway island. You drank, partied, and posted it all on your socials hoping you could fake it till you made it, but the faking became too much. By nightfall every night, you wallowed with a bottle or two of wine.

While you were beyond pissed at Lewis you also knew that picture was sent to you on purpose. You weren’t an idiot and had dealt with plenty of conniving, duplicitous bitches in your days. You knew someone was trying to fuck with you and start shit and you were giving them what they wanted. That didn’t matter because none of that changed the content of the photo.

Every time you came back to that no matter how much of your anger had dissipated, it all came back with that one nugget of fact. It was straight-up disrespect. If the tables had been turned and it was you, Lewis would have made a huge fuss over it by being extra petty. You refused to believe you were in the wrong, but several bits of your interaction tried to come through to show you had been in the wrong for a few things.

You were a passionate person and usually when arguing that passion shines through and oftentimes you get reckless at the mouth not caring how your words are thrown together or the force of those words. You knew you fought dirty; it was the only way you knew how. You blamed it on the years of living a single and independent life after one of the worst breakups of your life. It had caused more damage than good. You’d had no one to answer to, no one to consider or consult and you oftentimes still lived there in your head. It was a major switch to flip and a switch you failed, more times than you liked to admit, to flip.

You knew that night you’d said whatever came to mind and didn’t care if the words hurt. In fact, you said some things to cause pain and that was the source of your regret. Lewis had often told you throughout your 9-month relationship that your mouth would get you in trouble in more ways than one. He’d warned you about your recklessness and told you he wouldn’t stand for it because if he really wanted he could get just as reckless as you.

That was one of the things you loved about him. He wasn’t afraid to call you out on your bullshit and put you in your place when you got into your bad girlfriend mode.

Sighing, you raised the glass of wine to your lips and guzzled until it was empty. Your eyes fell to the now empty wine bottle, and you debated with yourself over getting another. It was the 2nd bottle of the night, and you knew if you got a 3rd you’d have entered lush territory, but you didn’t care enough to resist. So you slinked across the kitchen to the wine fridge and grabbed another bottle of wine, but before you closed it you grabbed one more just in case.

After you’d popped the cork and filled your glass to the brim your phone went off with a security notification. Checking the application, you reviewed the notice of someone entering your code into your security gate.

“What the hell?”

Another notification came in informing you a car was pulling up the drive. You went over the registered movements watching the videos to figure out if you had a security breach or if someone was just showing up unannounced. On the 3rd video, you realized who it was.

“No fucking way.”

You walked out of the kitchen, through your home, and to your front door. Before you got there, the bell rang. Once you turned the corner you saw who it was through the intricately decorated glass doors. Lewis Hamilton. Neither of you moved. You stood there staring at each other. You couldn’t read the expression in his brown eyes, but you could read the dark circles underneath them and his lackluster complexion. He looked slightly sick but also indifferent. You couldn’t help but wonder if he was having as hard a time as you were. You’d purposely stayed off his and his friends' accounts to avoid any excessive thoughts of him.

Lewis didn’t move a muscle, he patiently waited for you to make your move. It was a move you didn’t know how to make. You’d be a liar if you said you hadn’t wanted him to run after you and fight some more, but you also didn’t want to see him again. So one hand itched to grab the knob and open the door for him but the other hand wanted to override the security system and shutter down your house.

You closed your eyes and took several deep breaths giving your body control to see which side won. When your hand wrapped around the knob you wanted to break it. Once you opened the door, you snapped your eyes open.

“What the hell are you doing here? How did you get past my gate?”

Lewis scoffed and slightly shook his head before speaking, “Let me in, Y/N.”

You scrunched your face and doubled down on your annoyance. “What? Not a chance in hell. Answer me. How?”

When your best friend's name came out of his mouth your eyes bugged. There was no way.

“Bullshit! There is no way my best friend would give you my security code for my gate without letting me know. There is no way!”

He looked unamused now.

“Yet she did.”

You studied him still shocked.

“Let me in.”

“No. Why would I do that? We have nothing to talk about.”

“I think we have a lot to talk about.”

You scoffed. “Five weeks too late. Anything I had to say was said already. We’ve both said enough. You should go 44.”

Lewis took a sharp breath in and released it. As it came out it sounded like a hiss. “Oh boy. Y/N, stop talking! For real just stop—fucking talking and let me in!”

“What the fuck?! Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to? Do I fucking look like one of your side bitches, or your groupies?!”

From the heat rushing through you, you could tell that your anger was beginning to really boil now. With quick moves, Lewis moved from his side of the door to close the space between you. Before you knew it, he had one of his hands cupping your skull and his lips pressed to yours. Like magic as if on command you stopped moving and any thought of protest faded, hell any thought at all faded.

Lewis’ lips moved against yours in a way you’d found yourself missing the last five weeks. He kissed you like a starved man, like a man who’d come back to claim what was his and your body reacted in the only way it had ever reacted—eager acceptance.

A small whimper escaped you and that was when Lewis backed off. You kept your eyes closed relishing the feelings that had now bubbled up within you, feelings you’d been working overtime to suppress and ignore. One kiss was all it took for the geyser to erupt.

“You talk to fucking much for your own good,” Lewis whispered.

You could feel the whisps of his breath against your face and picked up the scent of mint, and some form of berry. You tried to control your breathing so he wouldn’t see how much he still affected you. Opening your eyes, you peered into his glossy doe ones.

“You’ve said more than enough. I still have shit to say. So listen.”

Lewis then squeezed your hip bringing you back to the present. It was then you realized your body was pressed to his and his hand was gripping you holding you against him controlling your body like he always did. Shit, you thought. You loved when he took control, loved how he always knew how to shut you up when you got into one of your what he would call Y/N fits. Lewis squeezed your hip once more while biting his bottom lip and you wanted to knee him in the balls because of how easy it still was for him to turn you on.

As if he knew it too, Lewis released you as quickly as he’d grabbed you and walked into your house. A shiver rushed through you making you shudder. Asshole, you thought while you closed and locked your door. When turned around he was standing there waiting for you. Rolling your eyes, you led the way back to the kitchen. Once there you grabbed your glass and finished it.

“Speak.”

Lewis scoffed. “Don’t test me, Y/N.”

Clenching your jaw you refilled your glass then watched him with slightly narrowed eyes. You were not going to make any of this easy for him.

“I’m tired of these subs you keep throwing my way. So fucking tired of it. It’s like you enjoy being cold and evil to me and that’s not even cool. I’ve never taken joy in being cold to you.”

Shaking your head you took another sip from your glass.

“I’ve known you for years. Yeah, it wasn’t like we were in the same friend group, but we were cordial. I’ve wanted you the entire time I’ve known you. Yeah, yeah, I was messing with other women throughout that time.”

“Messing? Just say fucking. Call a spade a spade and move the fuck on,” you blurted out.

“Again, stop talking!”

His voice bounced around the kitchen, but you didn’t feel fear. You’d never feared him. You knew he wasn’t one of those men who hit women. That had never and would never be him. Narrowing your eyes, you took a large gulp of your wine, your conflicting feelings wreaking havoc on you.

“You act like you don’t have a past or even things from your past you’re ashamed of. Shit Y/N! I’ve told you I am not that man anymore, I’ve changed.”

“I don’t believe you.”

The silence stretched and you kept your eyes on him. He looked hurt but also frustrated. “I get that, and I’ve been killing myself by doing what I can to prove it to you, to show you I deserve your time.”

Shaking your head you scoffed. “You don’t have to prove shit else, Lewis. I have all the proof I need; I saw it all in that picture!”

“The picture was bullshit. Tell me you don’t get someone is fucking with you.”

“Again why do they want to do that Lewis? Huh! Is it because of your thot ass!”

“Oh my god, here we go again! Stop throwing my past in my face. I’ve owned it and have walked away from it. That picture was bullshit. I was working. What that picture doesn’t show--.”

You grabbed the wine bottle and began walking away. “I don’t give a shit anymore!”

Lewis’ hand wrapped around your wrist stopping your movement. “It was a photoshoot, Y/N. Someone took a picture of an impromptu photoshoot and sent it to you out of context.”

You scanned his eyes for any sign of a lie.

“You’re lying.”

“I have never lied to you. I swear it. You can even go to the brand owner and find out, it’s easy to do.”

You couldn’t believe that. “You’re lying Lewis.”

“I’m not. I told you I would never do some shit like that to you.”

You kept scanning his eyes unable to wrap your head around what he was saying. He had to be lying. Right?

“Look--,” he began dropping his hand and releasing you. With a sigh, he continued, “I came here to give you this.”

He then pulled something from his back pocket and held it out to you. The large brown envelope in his hand looked like doom in the form of an office supply.

“This is the last goddamn time I’m going to have you throw my past in my face. The last fucking time, Y/N. It’s not fair and I shouldn’t have to explain shit to you because this was before you and has nothing to do with us, here or now, but for some fucking reason I feel like I have to, and it irks the shit out of me especially since you don’t give me the same courtesy.”

His words felt like dull blades whipping against your skin. That flared your anger.

“You don’t have to explain shit to me.”

“Shut up!”

That was it. Though you liked it when he stood up to you, you hated feeling this backed into a corner, especially with the truths he’d just dropped.

“Listen, you’re not gonna be--.”

That was all you got out before Lewis’ lips were pressed to yours once again and again everything stopped. His lips manipulated you making you slump back against the wall you hadn’t realized you were pressed to. Lewis’ large hand squeezed your hip once again and you’d never wanted to strip someone more than him right now. When he pulled his lips from yours he kept his forehead to yours.

“You’ve never fucked with a guy like me. I told you that 9 months ago and it’s still true. I’m not going to just let you talk to me any old way. Those other fools were weak as fuck. I’m not weak. I can handle your ass,” Lewis said.

He didn’t need to say shit else because you were now turned the fuck on. Your eyes locked and it took everything in you to remain composed though his lips looked more and more tempting with each passing second.

“Are you listening now?”

You had no words.

“I’m done with that life. It’s boring, it’s old and to be honest it weighs me the fuck down. I want you and it goes past sex, it goes past claiming you or getting a notch, or even letting the world know I got you. None of that matters to me, it never has. I want you. I want Y/N. I’ve been real this entire time.”

Again he pushed out the envelope to you.

“After I give you this it’s all in your hands, your court, your decision. I’ll chase you but I’ll only chase you so far. This is how far.”

Your eyes dropped to the envelope between your bodies, but you didn’t reach for it. You couldn’t. You were actually scared of it and what it may hold. Glancing back at him, you studied his face.

“Your decision, make it. If it’s not me then cool. No hard feelings, we’re still friends and I’ll wish you nothing but the best but,” Lewis paused then cupped your chin as he pressed himself against you more. With his face mere centimeters from yours, he finished, “My lips will not touch yours until you come to me for it.”

Holy shit, you thought to yourself.

“Our next kiss if it’s in the cards will be done by you, not me.”

From the look in his eyes, you could tell he was serious. You could tell he meant this with everything. He was done chasing you, done giving and giving only to have you keep him at a distance. Fuckity, fuck, you thought.

“Are you gonna take it?”

You wanted to shake your head, but you couldn’t move. It was like he was the headlights, and you were the deer. You recognized the fear you felt. You knew it was do or die and you knew this was the moment of truth for your relationship. With what he’d told you about the picture being a set up you were more confused than ever. Rightfully, he shouldn’t even be here right now, not after your conversation before and how it all went down. He was still here trying to get you back.

You slowly took the envelope with a shaky hand, the only tell of your fear. Lewis slowly backed away from you while keeping his eyes on yours. When he was a few feet away he turned and began walking out of the kitchen.

“So that’s it?”

Lewis stopped then looked back at you. His expression was different now. You could tell how hurt he was now, how much you’d hurt him.

“You tell me, Y/N.”

You didn’t know what to tell him, so you didn’t say anything. Lewis nodded, the disappointment filling his eyes before he turned from you and walked away. You stood there listening to him walk through your house, his footsteps getting further and further away. When you heard the door close you released breath you didn’t know you were holding. The notification sounds from your phone told you that he’d driven down the drive and left the property.

It was then you put the envelope on the kitchen counter and took several deep breaths trying to calm yourself. No matter how many breathing exercises you did you still couldn’t calm down. Your mind raced replaying the conversation, dissecting every move, word, and glance, and analyzing it against every other conversation over the last 9 months. When your legs gave way from the weight of it all, you dropped to the floor. One question kept screaming in your head.

Had it all truly been wasted love or was there still hope?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[wolfjackle-creates]

Bring Me Home Arc 2 Part 18

Welcome to another WIP Wednesday!

Story Summary: Tim and Danny are both neglected by parents who care more about their work than their families. They deal with this by spending too much time online and find each other playing MMORPGs. They keep up their friendship as Tim becomes Robin and Danny becomes Phantom and don't bother keeping secrets from each other.

Arc 1 AO3 Link

Arc 2: Part 1, Previous

Word Count: 1.7k

-----

From the radio station, the four traveled to the television studio for their next interview. The host had listened to their radio interview and helped summarize much of the information before asking further questions.

Tim and his teammates called into question the biases of the Drs Fenton and hoped their criticisms would bring others to think twice before taking their word as gospel.

When they were finally done, it was almost nine.

Tim shot off a quick text to Bruce for his morning check-in. He noticed Conner texting someone, too. “Who’re you talking to?” he asked.

“Sam. She says Danny’s still passed out. But her parents are talking about some sort of press release the mayor is planning on putting on at City Hall at ten.”

Cassie groaned. “Ugh, more reporters. Please say we don’t have to go.”

“We should,” said Tim. “But we can go in civvies.”

“Can we at least get breakfast first?” asked Bart. “It’s been hours since we woke up!”

“Yeah,” agreed Cassie. “I’m starving. Let’s get some food. I think I saw a diner when we flew to our second interview.”

Before Tim could consider protesting, Conner had him secure in his arms and TTK and they were in the air.

“Lead the way, Wonder Girl.”

Tim scowled to hide his smile. “Oh sure, don’t listen to your leader. Just do whatever.”

“You’d let us starve?” wailed Connor. “Then we’ll stage a mutiny!”

Cassie laughed. “Yeah, see how long you remain in charge of a hangry speedster, half-kryptonian, and demigoddess.”

Tim grinned. “Oh, but you forget I know you all very well. I can win you back to my side. Starting with Kon.”

“And how do you plan to do that?” demanded Conner.

“Easy. I’ll just bribe you with Alfred’s cookies and a great movie. If I add in a dash of ‘I need your help’ and my puppy dog eyes and you’ll be eating out of the palm of my hand.”

“That’s another square on my bingo card!” called back Cassie. “And look, we’re here!” She pointed down to a quintessential American diner with green glass windows.

The group met Bart a block away in an alley where they shed their gear.

“I’ll tell Sam what we’re up to.” Conner pulled out his phone to send the message.

“Quit wasting time! We’re on a deadline,” moaned Bart as he positioned himself behind Conner and tried to push him towards the street and breakfast.

Conner laughed and refused to budge, so Tim figured a demonstration of his power was in order.

He got in front of Conner and pouted at him. “I know I was joking about not allowing breakfast, but I’m the one who didn’t eat before the interviews. An omelet is calling my name.”

Conner groaned and ran a hand down his face. “Fuck you, Rob.” But he stalked forward out of the alley.

Tim and Bart exchanged grins.

“Seriously, Tim,” said Cassie. “This trip has been great for my bingo card.”

Tim stuck his tongue out at her and jogged to catch up with Conner.

Breakfast was simple but tasty and they devoured far too much food. Their waitress was clearly impressed with her first exposure to a speedsters appetite. Add in a super and a demigoddess and it was obscene.

All too soon, however, it was time to go to the mayor’s press conference. As they made their way there, they joined a growing crowd. Clearly many people were interested in whatever the mayor had planned.

In the crowd, he could hear comments about their interviews. It seems both had been posted online and already had thousands of views. Some people seemed to be sympathetic to them, but others were mistrustful of the “outsiders.”

“If they’re such good friends, why did it take so long for them to come here?” asked one man of his friend.

“I’ve a cousin in Central City. She says trouble always follows a superhero,” said another.

Tim exchanged a look with Conner. He’d be able to hear more conversations and could share his perceptions later.

Before long, they were entering City Hall. Already the seats were full, so they were forced to stand in the back. Jack and Maddie were sitting near the front. Jeremy and Pamela Manson sat on the opposite side of the room as them, but also were near the front of the room.

Tim exchanged looks with his teammates to make sure they saw both couples. Conner was glaring at Maddie and Jack.

“They’re complaining about our interviews,” said Conner. “Throwing around guesses that we are either possessed or have already been brainwashed by the ghosts.”

“At least we know they aren’t observant. Maybe they won’t notice us.”

Mayor Montez stepped up to the podium and everyone fell silent. “People of Amity Park, we have been faced with a threat the likes of which we’ve never before seen! And based on the events of this morning, it doesn’t seem like we’ll be able to rely on outside help to get us out of it.”

A stone sunk in Tim’s stomach and he exchanged looks with his friends.

“We only have one piece of business today: Defeating the ghosts that infest our town. And to do that, I'm calling for a vote to cede all ghost policing and security decisions”—he held up a photo of Maddie—“to Maddie Fenton.” As Tim watched, however, the mayor’s eyes glowed red and he winced. “I mean Jack,” he corrected, holding up a new picture of Jack Fenton. “The completely competent Jack Fenton.”

“He’s overshadowed,” breathed Conner.

Tim nodded and was already sending a message to Sam, Tucker, and Danny. “And who knows who else.”

Before they could say anything else, the mayor continued, “And we’ve located the ghost responsible for all the terror inflicted on our town.” He held up a picture of Phantom. “Whatever some outsiders may have tried to lie to you about this very morning.”

A gasp rang out among the crowd. Tim glanced at his friends. Conner was glaring at the mayor fiercely and Tim attempted to step in front of him, as pointless as their relative sizes made the action.

The mayor smiled viciously as a panicked crescendo rose from the crowd. Tim’s phone vibrated in his hand and he saw a response from Sam.

Sam: We saw Sam: Danny is on his way Sam: And we’re following as fast we can

Under his breath, Tim muttered, “Conner, you and Bart should go suit up. Cassie and I will stay and keep an eye on what’s going on. Stay close, but try not to be seen unless an attack happens.” Subtly, grateful for their places against the wall, he passed over the thermos he’d taken with him that morning.

Tim heard Conner’s sigh of relief as the two slipped away. He hated pretending to be a civilian in a crisis. Even more than the rest of them.

Cassie whispered, “I almost hate you for keeping me here.”

Tim just bumped their shoulders together.

The mayor, or rather the ghost inhabiting him, raised his arm and silence slowly fell. “We cannot call for outside help. Those who call themselves the Young Justice today proved that the so-called heroes of this world will defend our enemy over us. That they will spread lies to keep us subject to the whims of these ghosts.” The last word was spat. “So we must solve the problem ourselves. Jack Fenton, if the people of this town agree, you and those you train will be our defense force, will you do this?”

Jack near jumped three feet in the air in his excitement. “I’ve been training for this my entire life, Mayor Montez! I’ll be honored.”

“I believe we must institute martial law! The 9 PM curfew will remain in place. No one will be allowed on the streets alone. No loitering. The park will be closed until further notice. Same with the public pool and library and a number of other locations. Drs Fenton, will you be able to set up buildings protected by ghost shields where people can gather for safety?”

Whispering broke out among the public. Maddie stood tall next to her husband, though being continually overlooked in favor of him was clearly grating on her. “We can. Fenton Works is already protected and within two days we can have another shield up and ready. Within the week, we could have five.”

The whispered were almost loud enough to drown her out by the time she finished speaking

“Order! Order!” called Mayor Montez. “All in favor of declaring martial law, and allowing the completely competent Jack Fenton to mobilize a massive ghost hunt, please say—”

But cutting off the mayor, Danny, in his Phantom form, suddenly appeared in the air in the middle of the hall. “I might be too young to vote, but I’m casting one anyway.”

Around them, everyone gasped and people began backing away even as Danny shifted to look at them. Tim and Cassie both tensed and prepared to run.

“You people have to listen to me,” urged Danny. “I’m on your side.”

Mayor Montez took a step back as members of his security moved to stand in front of him. Jack and Maddie jumped up and glared at him.

“You’re not fooling anybody, ghost kid!” declared Jack. “You are going down!” He reached back and pulled out the Fenton fishing rod, the line was horribly tangled and Jack began messing with it. “As soon as I finish untangling this thing.”

Cassie let out a disbelieving huff.

Tim shook his head. “Apparently,” he replied to her unasked question. He pulled out his phone and shot a message to Bart and Conner.

Rob: get back here now Rob: All 4 of us are needed

Before he even finished typing his last message, Bart was at his side. Just in time to see Danny mutter something and shoot an ectoblast at his parents who were thrown back with the force of it, destroying the podium and leaving a burn mark on the ground.

“Shit,” muttered Tim. “Cassie, let’s go. Impulse, try to help where you can.”

“You’ve got it.”

----

Next

And so the best of intentions go awry!

I can almost taste the end of this arc, but for all I know, that'll take another 10k to finish. So we'll see what happens. Hope you enjoyed.

I no longer do tag lists, but please check out the Subscription Post if you want to be notified of updates.

[efadefoks]

I actually made myself sad with that incorrect quotes post and immediately decided to think of something else. So here i present you "are you flirting with me? Been for 3 years thank you for noticing" on another level.

So basically everyone knows Soap and Ghost are insufferable together. They flirt like all the time. At the training session, in the mess, on the mission, after the mission..well, you get the idea. It's a miracle they still are capable of pulling off any kind of "mission impossible" while driving their teammates crazy over the comms.

"Fuckin beautiful sir"

"Good boy, Johnny"

"I thought you'd like it"

There's actually a "what other borderline horny thing they can say during the mission" bingo game. Noone was able to win yet, but Gaz came the closest. Never predicted that chuckle sound Soap made to Ghost's terrible joke though.

So the duo always gets this "get a room you two" comments until one day someone decides "that's enough torture" and just calls out the pair. "Soap. Ghost. We love you, guys, but this is too much. Please, sort this out. Just talk about your feelings like normal people".

And Soap and Ghost just exchange glances.

"We've been dating for 7 month already but thank you for noticing"

[dvrk-moon]

SPIDER-FIEND - chapter i

— synopsis: spider-man spilling coffee on you wasn’t on your 2008 bingo card.

— word count: 1.7k

— warnings: cursing, mentions of divorced parents

— featuring: p1h jongseob, kiof haneul

— a/n: i will die on the riki spiderman hill. anyways enjoy this thing while i kms over finishing eat me up 😆😆😆🙏🙏🙏

series masterlist

i. COFFEE, NEWS, AND A SPECIAL GUEST

You were sat at a table with two of your friends, Haneul and Jongseob, in your favorite coffee shop. For it being in New York City, it had a quaint atmosphere, something that not a lot of places here had. You three were exchanging in conversation about school while drinking your drinks.

You and Haneul had just been laughing at some stupid joke she made about one of your teachers at your school: Midtown School of Science and Tech. You hated the fact that of all people, you had to go there. You only had three real friends anyway, Jongseob, Haneul, and your best friend, Riki.

Speaking of Riki, he was supposed to join you all at the coffee shop today, but had just not shown up, no warning. He had a tendency to do that as of late, and it had you losing your mind over what the hell he could be doing that’s so important.

Suddenly, Jongseob pointed his finger at the TV behind both you and Haneul, interrupting your conversation and grabbing your attention. You craned your neck to take a look at what he was pointing out, but your eyes had to take a second to focus. The news was on, but the camera was moving so rapidly that you couldn’t place your finger on what was happening onscreen.

As if it had read your mind, the news now had subtitles accompanying the chaos, some speech about the alleged “Spider-Man” saving some people from a threat. You had seen pictures in the newspaper of the anthropoid-human figure, some videos on a new platform called YouTube, and even caught him in person once, swinging from building to building.

You didn’t really understand all the hype, though. Sure, it was cool that he could save people or whatever, but there had never really been an actual “supervillain” for him to defend the city from, so most of the time you called bullshit on his “powers”.

It was a little cool, though. Just a little.

The TV screen suddenly went black, signifying that something had happened to the camera or news station. You couldn’t tell, you hadn’t been paying that close of attention anyways.

Turning back around, you were met with a gaping Jongseob.

“What is wrong with you?” you teased, pointing out his facial expression. Haneul laughed and mimicked him.

“Stop it,” he commented, fixing his face, “I just think he’s cool, is all.”

“Awww,” Haneul reached across the table and grabbed Jongseob’s cheeks, “our little baby is a fanboy!”

He swatted her hands away before pulling his wrist to check his watch. You took a peak at the wall clock in the shop.

It was 5:17 PM, April 10th, 2008. Stopping by the cafe after school with your friends was always your favorite, but you’d been there for almost two and a half hours now, you should probably leave.

You gave Jongseob and Haneul a pointed look, and you could tell that you were all thinking the same thing. It would be best to go.

You stood up, grabbing your mug and bringing it to the counter, asking the worker for a to-go cup so you could leave. You returned to the table and grabbed your bag and your iPod from off the table, which Haneul had been using for the time being.

Walking back to the counter, the barista called out your name and handed you the coffee in the to-go cup.

Jongseob and Haneul met you near the counter, you three now taking your leave from the coffee shop. Jongseob opened and held the door for you two.

The streets of the city were as busy as ever, people, traffic, flashing lights, you were used to it all. Even in a neighborhood less close to the heart of the city, it was crazily busy. You watched from across the street as a man was casually walking backwards, another man was breakdancing for money, and a woman was scantily clad calling out at random strangers from her window. Some classy city you lived in.

You shook your head as you exited the building, taking a right to head towards the subway station, which was about three blocks away from the cafe. Haneul and Jongseob quickly caught up with you, following your lead.

“I don’t know,” Jongseob started, “I think it’s just be cool to see Spider-Man in person.”

You groaned and looked over your shoulder at him, “So we’re back on this now?”

“Sorry, sorry. I’m just saying,” Jongseob defended himself, shrugging at you.

“I just don’t really think I get the hype,” you admitted, picking up your pace as you reached a crosswalk.

“What’s there to not get?!” Haneul cocked her head at you, furrowing her eyebrows but still smiling.

“I dunno,” you said, reaching the other side of the crosswalk, “I just don’t think he’s all that.”

“Sounds to me like you’re just being a hater for no reason,” Haneul commented.

“Maybe I am,” you replied, “so what? It’s not like he’s ever gonna know.”

The steps down to the subway station quickly came into view, so all three of you picked up the pace. Ever since you left the cafe and got closer to the heart of the city, the human traffic only picked up. You had to almost shove your way through to get to where you needed to go.

You grabbed your Metro Card out of your bag, ready to swipe your card as you neared the entrance.

Once through, you three stepped up to the platform, waiting for the subway. Moments later, Jongseob’s phone started blasting his ringtone — “Low” by Flo Rida — and begging to be answered. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, he had a much newer phone than yours. He was lucky enough to get an Ericsson P1i, one you’d been wishing for, hoping to have for a little less than a year now.

You were stuck with a dingy Nokia N70, a hand-me-down from your older brother, which was now an almost three year old phone. You couldn’t always complain though, some of your classmates weren’t allowed to have individual smart phones. It was hard for you to believe; it’s 2008 now, not the 1800s!

Jongseob quickly answered the phone to who you assumed was his mother because his demeanor completely changed. Seconds after he answered, the subway pulled up, and you three filed yourselves in.

At the other end of the car you’d just entered, there was someone performing music with a guitar and a hat on the floor for money. You really didn’t want to listen to whatever was going on, so you fished your iPod and Apple earphones from out of your bag and drowned out reality. The music wasn’t bad, per se, in fact it was better than a crack addict being in the car, but you just weren’t in the mood today.

Your green iPod started playing “Thnks fr th Mmrs” by a band called Fall Out Boy, a song you had recently purchased on iTunes.

You let your mind drift to Riki. It’d been like that all too often lately. He wouldn’t even do anything and you’d be thinking of him. You knew you liked him more than a friend, you had now for a while. You weren’t stupid. But with all the flakiness he had been pulling lately, you began to get annoyed with him.

A few songs later and you were at your stop. Haneul and Jongseob still had a stop to go, so even when they offered to walk you home, you politely declined. You knew the way home well, and it wasn’t even dark yet. Plus, you had a taser in your bag.

You straightened your white blouse and plaid skirt before bidding your goodbyes to your friends, stepping out of the car and making your way back up the stairs up to the ground level.

You didn’t live extremely close to the inner city, you were about 15 minutes away by subway. It was far enough to not go crazy by the amount of light that Times Square had always elicited at night, but close enough to where you didn’t feel isolated from the inner city life.

The next song on your playlist was “How to Save a Life” by The Fray, a new favorite of yours. It had come out last year but you weren’t sure how you’d missed out on it for so long. As soon as you got the iPod for Christmas with an iTunes card, you bought that song. 2007 really did have the best hits.

As you slipped through alleyways to get to your street, you made sure not to spill any of your coffee. You hadn’t been drinking it so the cup was mostly filled, but you were waiting until you got home. You’d probably post about it on MySpace.

You got through a few more alleyways and back to a more crowded street that led to your mom’s apartment, easing your nerves as you approached your safe space.

Maybe it was because you had your earphones in, maybe it was because you’d been looking down at your iPod for a second too long so you could turn up your music, or maybe you were too distracted, your mind still on Riki.

No matter what it was, you definitely weren’t expecting to see Spider-Man swinging around your neighborhood. He had a bit of swagger about him naturally.

You wondered who hid under that mask.

Once your eyes left his figure, you once again drew your attention towards your iPod, turning it up once more. You believed it would be optimal for you to go deaf.

Within an instant, your once white blouse had hot coffee spilled all over it. Your mouth flew open, turning around to face the culprit that had bumped into you, roughly, causing you to spill your drink. You weren’t even sure how the drink had spilled as much as it did, you had a safety lid on it.

When you whipped your head around, you did not expect to be met face-to-face with none other than your personal hero, Spider-Man. You couldn’t believe what happened, immediately starting to curse out the man under the suit.

“Yo, can you watch where the fuck you’re going, man? You ruined my shirt, thanks.”

Instead of offering an apology, Spider-Man stood there for a few seconds before simply webbing away.

Some fucking hero he was.

[isa-beenme]

friends to lovers with Azriel? they’re both secretly pining after each other and even flirt but it has never gone past that

Fun fact: I received 3 or 4 of the same request of friends to lovers and now I have to think of different stories for each of them (how much do I hate myself? Here's the answer)

One more prompt babies (getting in trouble), send the request for her so I can finish the bingo or I'll never write again 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

Also, please comment on the posts, I get super happy and it definitely makes me go back to Google Docs to finish what I'm currently writing

I Think He Knows

It basically started weeks ago when you were researching something you couldn't even remember what it was that Rhysand asked. You were deep into the books, nothing was making sense in your mind and frustration was starting to set in as you struggled to find the answers you sought. Azriel silently slipped into the library and observed you from the shadows, captivated by the sight of you so concentrated and focused on your work. He noticed the frustration building in you, unable to resist, he stepped forward, revealing himself with his usual quiet grace.

-Need some assistance? - His velvet voice reached your ears, sending a shiver down your spine. You looked up, your eyes locking with his, and you couldn't help but feel a flutter of excitement.

-Well, I wouldn't mind a second opinion on this research - You replied, trying to maintain your composure despite the sudden warmth spreading through your cheeks.

Azriel moved closer, leaning over your shoulder to examine the texts you had been poring over. The close proximity sent your heart racing, and you could feel the heat of his breath on your skin.

-You're looking in the wrong section - He said softly, his fingers brushing against yours as he pointed to a nearby shelf.

Your hands touched, and you both felt a jolt of electricity shoot through you. You glanced up, your eyes meeting his, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still. Azriel's lips quirked into a faint smile, as if he knew the effect he had on you.

-Let me show you - He offered, gesturing for you to follow him.

You walked together through the aisles of books, discussing the research, and exchanging ideas. You found yourself drawn to Azriel's intellect and the way he effortlessly wove his knowledge into the conversation. As you spoke, the flirtatious undertones became more evident. You teased each other playfully, your laughter filling the library like music. It was as if you had known each other for years, despite the fact that this was the first time you had engaged in a real conversation alone.

Usually all your interactions with the Inner Circle had Rhysand's presence. And besides the fact that you considered and was equally considered by all of them as a friend, this was the first time you actually talked alone with Azriel, no need to keep formality or the topic of work getting in the way. The more you flirted, the more you realized how easy it was to be yourself around him. Walls that you had carefully built began to crumble, revealing your true self, vulnerable and unguarded.

The spark of attraction between you was undeniable, and it left both of you surprised and intrigued. It was a dance you hadn't expected to partake in, but neither of you could resist the magnetic pull that drew you closer.

As the night wore on, you reluctantly bid each other farewell, promising to meet again in the library to help each other if necessary. But even as you walked away, your thoughts were consumed by him and only him.

In the days that followed, your flirtatious encounters continued, fueled by a desire you couldn't ignore. Each meeting left you wanting more, and yet you hesitated, unsure of the depths you were diving into. Suddenly you were being invited to family dinners and the Valkyries' training. You weren't sure who exactly you should blame: Rhysand and his necessity of taking you under his wing or Azriel with the need of having you closer to him. Somehow you knew the answer without asking directly.

The Night Court's dinner table was a scene of elegance and camaraderie as the Inner Circle gathered for their nightly meal. Amidst the laughter and casual conversations, Azriel and you found yourselves seated beside each other, eyes locked in a silent promise of something more. Your foot unintentionally brushed against Azriel's calf under the table, sending a thrill through both of you. Azriel's fingers ghosted along the back of your hand, a subtle invitation to continue the game you started playing.

Rhysand and Cassian exchanged bemused glances, sensing the charged atmosphere between their two friends. Feyre tried to hide a knowing smile, while Amren raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. You carefully leaned in, your lips so close to Azriel's ear that your warm breath sent shivers down his spine.

-You're playing a dangerous game - You whispered, your voice laden with mischief.

-Danger happens to be my job, dear - Azriel replied, his voice husky and filled with desire.

As the dinner conversation flowed around you, Azriel and you engaged in a subtle dance of seduction beneath the table. Your fingers intertwined, your touch light but electrifying, as you teased each other with playful caresses. You let your fingers trail along Azriel's forearm, relishing the way his muscles tensed beneath your touch. Azriel responded in kind, brushing his thumb across the outside of thigh, deliberate circles that left your craving more.

The rest of the Inner Circle exchanged glances, unable to believe what you were witnessing. Cassian leaned over to Rhysand, a mischievous twinkle in his eye.

-I think we're witnessing the birth of a mating bond - He teased, causing Rhysand to chuckle. Across the table, Mor was trying her best to suppress a grin, while Amren simply rolled her eyes, unimpressed by your antics.

Nestha, always one to relish in mischief, decided to stir the pot. With a sly grin, she looked at Azriel and you at his side, already planning a way to burst the bubble you settle yourselves in.

-So, Shadowsinger, what's the most daring thing you've ever done? Cassian just told his - Her mate looked at her confused, until he realized her plan and agreed along with the rest of the table. Azriel's eyes twinkled with mischief as he slightly turned his gaze towards you.

-Oh, I think I'd rather show than tell - You felt a blush creeping up your cheeks, but you didn't back down.

-And what about you, Rhys? What's the most thrilling thing you've ever experienced that didn't involve your mate? - You turned to Rhysand and asked with a playful glint in your eye. The High Lord only chuckled, sensing the game you were playing.

-Well, it might just be seeing the way Azriel flirts with someone he cares about, it's rather fun, to say the least - He replied, glancing pointedly at his spymaster.

Azriel's lips quirked up in a knowing smile, and he leaned towards you, his voice low and suggestive, as he spoke high enough for everyone at the table to hear.

-Oh, don't worry, my love, I save my best for you - Your heart skipped a beat at his response, but you maintain your composure, turning the tables again. You looked at Cassian, one that looked very amused by the whole interaction.

-Cassian, have you ever been so captivated by someone that you couldn't take your mind off them to the point you simply did and said stupid things all the time? - Cassian grinned, understanding the game and more than willing to play along.

-Well, you see, I have a habit of getting distracted by a certain female warrior with mesmerizing eyes - He replied, winking at Nesta, who rolled her eyes and tried to hide her smile.

-And what about you, Az? Have you ever been so captivated by someone that left you breathless? - Azriel met your gaze with an intensity that sent shivers down your spine.

-Every time I look at you - He answered, his voice soft and sincere. Feyre quickly interrupted the moment to get Nyx who started to cry in his bedroom, cutting out the atmosphere that was building up.

The next day you had to keep working as if nothing changed, even if you and Azriel were becoming more and more shameless at each encounter. The library in the Night Court was always a sanctuary of knowledge, and you found solace amidst the ancient texts and dusty books. The spymaster often changed his plans to find you there, absorbed in the magic of the written word, only to engage in another one of the flirtatious conversations you always lead each other, even if this wasn't exactly the original plan.

In this particular afternoon, you were stretching on your tiptoes, trying to reach a book on the highest shelf. As you strained to grasp it, you felt a familiar presence behind you. A soft, warm breath grazed the back of your neck, sending shivers down your spine. Azriel's velvety voice caressed your ear,

-Need some help? - You turned to find Azriel standing so close that you could feel the heat emanating from his body. Your heart fluttered, but you masked your flustered state with a playful smirk.

-Oh, so you're finally offering to be useful, Shadowsinger? - You teased, your eyes locking with his. A mischievous glint danced in Azriel's eyes as he reached for the book, effortlessly retrieving it from the shelf. Instead of handing it to you, he held it just out of your reach, enjoying the proximity between your bodies.

-I always knew you'd come to appreciate my usefulness - He replied, his voice low and teasing.

You refused to back down, your competitive spirit coming to the surface. You leaned in, closing the distance between you, and attempted to snatch the book from his grasp. But Azriel was too quick, tilting his hand just enough to evade you. Your faces were now mere inches apart, and the tension between you crackled like electricity. With a smoldering look, Azriel brought the book down slightly, just teasingly close to your fingers.

-If you want it, you'll have to work for it - He challenged, his lips quirking into a seductive smile.

Your breath hitched at the playful yet alluring demeanor of the warrior. Determined to match his boldness, you leaned in even closer, allowing your lips to brush against his.

-I don't mind a little challenge - A low growl rumbled in Azriel's throat, and he gave up, handing you the book. But he didn't step back, instead, he closed the remaining distance between you, pressing his body against yours, creating an intoxicating blend of heat and desire.

Your eyes locked once more, and the air around you crackled with tension. Without thinking, Azriel's fingers grazed your cheek, tracing a path along your jawline. Yourheart pounded wildly, the sensation of his touch igniting a fire within you.

-You have no idea what you do to me - Azriel admitted huskily, his voice thick with desire.

-Show me - You whispered, unable to resist the pull you felt towards him any longer.

In that moment, the world around you ceased to exist. The library faded away, leaving only the two of you enveloped in a haze of passion and longing. With an intensity you had both kept bottled up for too long, you surrendered to each other's embrace, your lips meeting in a fiery kiss that ignited a love that had been simmering beneath the surface.

Your whispered affections and tender touches among the books unveiled the truth you had both been hiding – that you were more than friends, that your souls had found your match. Your lips couldn't seem to snap away from his, the book long forgotten in the ground as you entangled your hands in his hair and pulled him closer.

-... Are you somewheEAHHH - Gwyn's scream made you separate from Azriel in a flash, her eyes almost popping out of her head as she took in the scene in front of her, all the priestess around stepping closer to understand the commotion - Clotho is asking if you found the book - She pointed behind her, a smile playing in her as the Shadowsinger quickly bid you goodbye and ran away. You threw the book at your friend when she started to laugh - I just want to see how the training is going to be tomorrow.

And honestly? You wanted to know too.

Training sessions in the House of the Wind were usually filled with a lot of matches between the girls and intense training, but today was different. You and Azriel found yourselves paired together as a matter of destiny, the air around you charged with an electric tension that couldn't be ignored. As you sparred, the other Valkyries couldn't help but watch, completely shocked by the intense flirtation that unfolded before them. Gwyneth being the one pinpointing the looks you threw to him.

Your eyes locked with Azriel's as you circled each other, each movement purposeful and tantalizing. He could see the fire burning in your eyes, and it only fueled his desire to provoke you further . With a smirk, he raised an eyebrow, a silent challenge, inviting you to make the first move.

You didn't disappoint. In a swift motion, you lunged, your blades dancing gracefully through the air. Azriel effortlessly parried your strikes, your weapons clashing with a resounding echo. But beneath the fierce combat, there was an undercurrent of something more, a seductive dance of pure desire from the last day. Azriel leaned in close, his breath ghosting over your ear as you defended his attack.

-You are fighting with such passion today, what happened? - He laughed when you pushed him far from you with a kick - It's almost intoxicating - A shiver ran down the reader's spine as you met his gaze, unyielding.

-I'm just getting started - You replied, your voice dripping with provocation - Someone started something and couldn't finish. Let's see if you can end this fight at least.

Your banter continued as you moved in sync, each anticipating the other's moves. The sexual tension between you was palpable, and the other Valkyries couldn't tear their eyes away, their training momentarily forgotten. Azriel's wings unfurled slightly, showcasing his strength and power.

-You know - He suddenly said, his voice deep and alluring, but not low enough to not let your public hear, ever the exhibitionist he was - I could show you a few moves that aren't part of the regular training regimen - Your cheeks flushed when you heard the gasps from the other females, but you didn't back down. Instead, you leaned in even closer, your body inches from his.

-And what kind of moves are those, Shadowsinger? - You purred, your tone daring him to reveal his thoughts.

-The kind that leaves you breathless - He teased, the double entendre not lost on the watching Valkyries when some of them let out small screams of excitement.

- I bet you could teach me something new, anyway - A wicked grin tugged at the corners of your mouth when he growled after your words, trying to strike you down.

The training session continued with a fervor, the intensity between you and Azriel growing with each exchange. Your bodies moved in harmony, pushing each other to new limits. At one point, you managed to disarm Azriel and pin him to the ground, and for a brief moment, you had the upper hand. But Azriel didn't seem bothered by it; instead, he wore an approving smile.

-Impressive - He murmured, his voice dripping with admiration.

Your closeness was almost suffocating, the desire between you reaching a breaking point. The other Valkyries exchanged glances, unsure if they should intervene or let the fiery tension run its course.

As the training session came to an end, you and Azriel stood face to face, breathing heavily from the exertion. The intensity in your eyes was undeniable, and you both knew that this was just the beginning of something. The Valkyries couldn't help but gasp as Azriel leaned in, his lips dangerously close to yours.

-You have no idea of what you've done to me, the hunger you awake - He whispered, his voice dark and alluring.

-If it's any closer to what I'm feeling then you better be prepared to satisfy it, Shadowsinger - With a playful smile, you replied before you stepped away from the training grounds, leaving the other Valkyries in a state of awe and disbelief. Your flirtatious dance had left a remarkable message between you and Azriel, one that you would try to ignore as best as you could, even against your will.

Weeks of tension and flirting had passed between you and Azriel. The subtle glances, teasing words, lingering touches, and sometimes a kiss or other had kept both of your hearts racing. Yet, neither of you dared to take the leap beyond your friendship. One evening, after a gathering at the Town House, you found yourself seeking solace and guidance from Feyre, always the good listener High Lady. She smiled knowingly as you spilled your heart out, admitting your crush on Azriel and detailing the last few weeks of encounters with him, not knowing when to point out the sudden change in your friendship with him.

-You know, I don't think he's disinterested in you. Azriel is just cautious, especially with matters of the heart - Feyre reassured you, caressing your head that was in her lap.

-I mean, he's obviously not disinterested in me. The thing is, does he want a relationship or just this weird kissing friendship we are doing? I think he knows I like him, it's impossible to not know. Even Nyx confirmed, he called me auntie, it's because I'm gonna marry his uncle, right? - She laughed at you, and you playfully smack her arm - I'm being serious. Solve this problem, you are the High Lady, you're supposed to be serious when one of your subjects needs help.

-Do you want a relationship with him, darling? - You stopped to think about her question, the moments you spent with Azriel popping in your head, before and after the mess you created, a smile growing in your face at the memories.

-Yes. Definitely - You whispered, receiving a smile from Feyre as well, her eyes shining with some suspicious glint behind them.

-Then tell him. He might be waiting for your confession too - You quickly nodded, giving her a kiss on the cheek before getting up from your spot.

Feeling a bit more encouraged, you returned to your quarters, unaware that Azriel had overheard the entire conversation from the shadows. His heart pounded in his chest as he realized the depth of your feelings for him, and he knew it was time to act over his own.

Before you could even close the door behind you, Azriel stepped out of the darkness and into your room. Startled, you turned to face him, but before you could speak, he gently closed the door and pinned you against the wood with a mixture of intensity and tenderness. His hazel eyes bore into yours, searching for any sign of hesitation.

-I've known about your feelings - He admitted in a husky whisper - And I've been a fool for not making a move sooner - A shiver ran down your spine as his warm breath caressed your skin.

-Azriel - You managed to say, your heart racing with anticipation. He cupped your face with his hand, his thumb stroking your cheek softly.

-I've been in love with you too, but I was scared. Scared of losing our friendship, scared of hurting you, of making something wrong, of you changing your mind, I don't know - He confessed. You placed your hand over his heart, feeling it race beneath your touch.

-I don't want to lose you either - You could only admit, your voice filled with vulnerability as you couldn't say anything else.

-You won't - Azriel assured you, his voice steady but full of emotion - I promise to cherish and protect what we have, and I'll prove my devotion to you everyday from now on, if you let me - You could only agree under his eyes, your body heating at each word.

With that, he leaned in, closing the distance between you and capturing your lips in a tender, passionate kiss. The world around you melted away once again as you fully surrendered to the feelings you had kept hidden for so long.

Your hands explored each other's bodies gently, reveling in the newfound intimacy between you. Azriel's touch was both passionate and cautious, showing his care for you. As you deepened the kiss, you knew that this moment would mean the world from now on.

[kataang-week]

Special thanks to Mod Atarah (@penguinsledder) and our new Mod Celes (@chocomd​) for the lovely gif! 

What is Kataang Week?

Kataang Week is when we, as a corner of the fandom, celebrate the ship Kataang! The prompts for Kataang Week 2023 were selected through four rounds of voting over the last few weeks and all prompts were submitted by Tumblr users.

Cool, when is it?

Summer Kataang Week 2023 starts on Monday, July 24th - just over seven weeks from today - and ends on Monday, July 31st.  

How do I participate?

The most common ways to participate are by creating art or writing a fic and posting it online. Some people try and create something for every day while others only fill one or two prompts.  

As always, we want to reassure you that it’s perfectly okay not to do every prompt! We just hope to have lovely pieces to share on each day.

But I can’t draw or write!

That’s totally fine - there are more ways to participate! You can sing a song, create a graphic, write a poem - just about anything really. You can also show your support by reblogging and liking other people’s contributions.

What are the prompts?

The following will be the running order for Kataang Week 2023:

Wind & Rain - Monday July 24th

Injured - Tuesday July 25th

Confession / Whisper - Wednesday July 26th

Cultural Differences/Cultural Exchange - Thursday July 27th

Secretly Dating / Rivals to Lovers - Friday July 28th

Spirits - Saturday July 29th

Reunion/Meeting Again - Sunday July 30th

Free Day - Monday July 31st

Don’t forget that this year we have the Kataang Week 2023 Bingo Challenge, as well as alternative prompts for Free Day! See the bingo challenge post for more information. 

* As a reminder, Cultural Differences/Cultural Exchange and Reunion/Meeting Again were combined during voting as they were very similar prompts. You can interpret them as singular or separate prompts and incorporate one or both for each day.

** Confession and Whisper, as well as Secretly Dating and Rivals to Lovers, were tied with votes, so instead of flipping a coin/deciding randomly, both tied prompts are included as options. You can incorporate one or both prompts for each day.

*** And as always, there is a Free Day at the end of the week. You can use this day to post anything you’d like! It can be a prompt that didn’t receive enough votes or something you’ve been wanting to work on, anything goes!

How should I tag my work?

The easiest way for us to find your work so we can reblog it to this blog is by using the tag “kataang week”. Using “kataang” and “kataangtag” also help. You must tag one of the three in your first five tags otherwise it doesn’t appear in the search.

Sometimes even properly tagged posts may not appear when we search the tags, so if you do not see your content reblogged, please let us know.

Once we’ve reblogged it to this blog we add our own tags (a prompt tag and a user tag) for easy organization. This means we can find all the work for one prompt or all the work from one user in one easy click (this also means that if you have changed your username since participating last year you need to let us know so we can update your tag!).

Can I post my stuff other places online too?

Of course you can!

Why seven weeks? Is that enough time?

Traditionally, we like to provide our content creators seven weeks (for the seven prompts) to create quality content. Kataang Week is also traditionally held in the last week of July.  

If you are unable to complete a prompt in time, please do not fret. You can alert this blog by mentioning it in your post (ex. @kataang-week​) or messaging one of the mods and your content will still be shared even if it is a week (or a month - or sometimes more!) late.

We also like to post WIP for Kataang Week and encourage everyone else to do so as well - we reblog it here for motivation!

As always, if you have any questions, comments, or concerns, don’t hesitate to send an ask. Don’t forget to reblog this as well to help spread the word!

Good luck, Kataangers, and happy content creating! :) - The Mods

[siempre-bucky]

ex-friends till the end

Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x Jake 'Hangman" Seresin

Summary: Bradley and Jake's son asks them innocently "Are you friends?" It sends Jake into a spiral and Bradley saves the day.

wc: 1.2k

a/n: @mothdruid and i agree that FOB and Bang the Doldrums is hangster coded. Enjoy the fluff ♡

Jake was treading lightly in the darkened living room, dimly illuminated by the golden lights from the upstairs hallway. 

His green eyes focused on the mahogany wood flooring in front of him as his arms cradled a sleeping boy, the orange heeler plushie tapping his back with every step. The soft snores and puffs of warm breath against his neck almost deterred him from not making a sound. Did he say it was that panel? He thought as he carefully stepped over a board his husband swore he was going to fix. Husband, he let out a quiet scoff at the title Bradley Bradshaw held. After all this time he couldn’t wrap his head around it. 

Making it to the stairs, he clutched on tighter to the boy in the airplane pajamas. Before he could take a step, the stuffed animal slipped from the 5-year-olds hand and collided with the floor. The boy twitched followed by a soft whine. Perhaps he could leave it there till morning? “Bingo,” he whined, calling out for the toy. 

Jake rolled his eyes, “Hold on, Nicky,” he grunted, turning to bend over and pick up the beloved toy. “Let’s get to bed.” 

Nick nuzzled his face in his father's neck and gripped tighter onto Bingo’s tail as Jake started to climb the stairs. “Is daddy gonna read me a story?” 

“I’m sure he will, son," Jake cooed, peering around the corner. His words came soft and slow as he turned into the bedroom, drawing them out for signature dramatics, "looks like it," he whispered just in time to see Bradley pull open the blanket from the once neatly made bed. 

Jake stood still a moment to take it in; Bradley's hazel eyes flashed upward, a soft smile forming on his lips. He traded in his Hawaiian shirt that night for a dark gray Henley, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The blond's heart stopped for the briefest of moments as the yellow stars from Nick's night light danced across his husband's tanned skin. 

He wanted to make some snarky comment about all his Hawaiian shirts being dirty and earn a cold look from the older man. But he didn't, the want of savoring this moment outweighed any remark; he put it on file in his mind to bring out later. 

"How are you still awake?" Bradley sighed, smirking as he stood to full height. Nick turned in his dad's arms and shrugged before being sat down. "You're just like your dad," he remarked, covering Nick's legs with the blanket and pressing a scratchy kiss to his temple. 

"Seresin resilience," Jake winked. He lowered himself beside the child, his arm splayed across the pillows while Bradley sat at the foot of the bed with his arms crossed. 

As the two men lowered their eyes at each other in trademark annoyance, Nick reached for the picture books resting on his lime green bedside table. He smiled as he flipped through them, ultimately landing one of his favorites. The book was written by a friend of his grandpa's, a vibrantly colored one all about unlikely friendships and how to work as a team. 

Nick looked up from the cover, his hazel eyes shifting between his two fathers. They did this a lot; staring at each other not knowing if tense words were going to be exchanged or a long slow kiss. He held the book against his chest as fell back against the pillows, rolling into Jake's side. "Dad…" the men broke out of their trance and immediately diverted their gaze, "Are you and daddy friends?" 

Friends. 

There was a small pause, the men’s faces slightly scrunching as they processed the question. “Well we’re married, son,” Jake avoided the answer. He didn’t really know the answer, he just hoped it was enough for the five-year-old; it was never enough for Nick, he was the type of kid who needed a solid yes or no answer, no highway option. 

The boy pouted and sunk lower into Jake’s side, “Well,” he sighed impatiently, “Rebecca's parents are married and she told me on the swings that they hate each other."

"We don't hate each other, Nicky," Bradley entered the conversation. 

"So are you friends?" Nick tilted his chin upward at Jake.

The world felt sour on Jake’s tongue. Friends. Were they friends? They’d known each other most of their adult lives and carried several titles in their relationship, Jake could even count most of them. Friends seemed like a gray area. 

The moment their eyes locked back in flight school, they were off. Flying after each other faster on the ground than in the air. Jake could remember him back then, thin and bare upper-lipped; he could vaguely remember how smooth it felt when Bradley kissed his neck. Were the late night rendezvous to watch television and make out sessions behind the planes enough to consider them friends? Lovers maybe? Lovers from the start. 

 But maybe they were friends at some point in their history somewhere in between quickies and long nights spent in messed up sheets. After training, most days, they'd sit in the bed of Jake's truck, limbs innocently tangled up in each other and looking up at the planes zooming past them thousands of feet in the air. Jake shared the stories of growing up in Texas, knee deep in old money he'd never receive a cent of. 

Bradley kept tight lipped about his past until a training detachment in San Diego when he nearly lost it. Tears threatened to fall from a young Bradley Bradshaw when his toes hit the sand of the beach his father took him as a child. The two men sat in the middle of the sand, Bradley's head on Jake's shoulder while he poured his heart out to him. Because that's what friends did. 

Jake snorted at the thought of them as "ex-friends", that was a better definition of their relationship. The fallout was bitter with scathing words they didn't mean and wounded prides. Bradley slammed the door so hard it came loose off the hinges while Jake opened it forcefully enough to rip it clean off chasing after him. Took years off their relationship; near death took them apart but it also put them back together. 

It was better that way. Easier for his brain to compute. Jake looked down at Nick who was looking up at him with wide hopeful eyes. He opened his mouth, prepared to fumble a sentence that would go right over the child's head. 

"Best friends," Bradley intercepted. Jake tried to hold onto a straight face, but the shock and awe of his face journey made his husband laugh. 

Nick smiled brightly and that was enough for his parents. He snuggled against Jake and held his plushie close to his chest, prompting the stunned blond to read. 

He was asleep by the third page. 

"So," Jake started as he closed the bedroom door behind him, taking one last look at their son before looking at Bradley with a signature cocky smirk, "Best friends, huh?" 

Bradley looked unimpressed, his lips dipped downward into an annoyed scowl. "You want a friendship bracelet or something?" He asked sarcastically as they walked down the hallway, his hand finding purchase on Jake's lower back. 

Jake playfully slapped Bradley's chest, "Yeah if fact I do. Yellow and red, like your helmet," he answered, taunting him. 

A week later, on his desk, Jake came back to his office to see a handmade friendship bracelet. And a week after that, a black and green one showed up on Roosters. 

[gatheringfiki]

GatheringFiKi - Events Calendar 2024

By popular demand, we present to you our best laid plans for the upcoming months!

10th of February 2024 - Kink + H/C Bingos - Announcement

17th of February 2024 - Kink + H/C Bingos - Cards posted, Collections open

17th of Feb - 17th of Mar 2024 - Kink + H/C Bingos - Stories/art posted

30th of March 2024 - AUpocalypse - Announcement

30th of March - 28th of April 2024 - AUpocalypse - Stories/art posted

18th of May 2024 - FiKi Week - Announcement (Themes/Prompts)

22nd - 28th of June 2024 - FiKi Week - Stories/art posted

27th of July 2024 - Drabble Challenge 8 - Announcement

3rd - 4th of August 2024 - Drabble Challenge 8

24th of August 2024 - Durin’s Day Gift Exchange - Announcement (min. 10 people sign up, otherwise it won't run)

24th - 31st of August 2024 - Durin’s Day Gift Exchange - Sign-ups

31st of August 2024 - Durin’s Day Gift Exchange - Pairs announced

3rd of October 2024 - Durin’s Day Gift Exchange - Works are due

12th of October 2024 - Trick or Treat - Announcement

19th - 31st of October 2024 - Trick or Treat - Prompts available

16th of November 2024 - 12 Days of Christmas - Announcement, Photosets available

13th - 24th of December 2024 - 12 Days of Christmas - Photosets/stories/art posted

A few comments, to give context to the calendar above:

There will be fewer events in 2024 than in our peak periods, but more than we thought there would be! We've gone by the Survey, to ensure all the top-scoring ones make an appearance in 2024.

However, next year we will try to mix it up and re-visit some of the events that didn't make it this year, or some new ones. Except 12 Days of Christmas and the FiKi Week - those are a given.

If you are into Britchell/Mitchers, please be aware that there is also the Britchell Tumblr organising events related to that pairing. Go, check them out. We've tried to make sure that the events don't clash - which is why we have some gaps.

Our sidebar on GatheringFiKi has been updated accordingly with links to this calendar and latest events. ;)

Hope this helps! Stay tuned for further details in due course :)

~gatheringfiki

[drabbles-mc]

Home for the Holidays?

Carmy Berzatto x OC Kalia Mason

For @storiesofsvu Holiday Bingo 2023!

Warnings: 18+, language, smoking, pre-canon, light angsty moments

Word Count: 7.7k

A/N: i have a whole longfic planned for these two that takes place way after this, but this little piece of their backstory has been bouncing around my head for weeks so i'm glad to finally be able to finish and post it!

The Bear Taglist: @garbinge @withmyteeth @darqchilddaydreamz @hausofmamadas @ashlingnarcos @narcolini @justreblogginfics (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)

“No, no, I’m not,” Carmy shook his head as he paced back and forth in the alleyway behind the restaurant, “I’m not having this fuckin’ conversation right now. Mi—no, you’re not listening. You never fuckin’ listen I can’t talk about this right now.”

He pulled an aggressive drag from his cigarette as he listened to Mikey going off on the other end of the line. He’d been so engrossed in his argument that he hadn’t even heard the back door of the restaurant open and shut, didn’t catch the dull sound of heels against the blacktop. Turning around to start pacing back in the opposite direction again, he stopped himself short, mid-headshake, when he saw that Kalia had stepped out back as well. He didn’t say anything as he stared at her, now only halfway tuned into the conversation that he was having with Mikey. His brows separated, easing apart rather than being pinched in exhaustion, but the tension in his jaw still held.

Kalia didn’t say anything to him either. She walked up to him without a word and he handed his cigarette over to her. He watched her bring it to her lips, her actions much smoother and calmer than his had been just a few moments before. She folded one arm across her chest, holding her hand out for him to take the cigarette back. He did, noticing but not commenting on the slight smudge of pale pink left on the filter from what was left of her lipstick by that point in her shift.

The whole exchange only took a handful of seconds, but with how quickly conversations moved with Mikey, or any of the Berzatto’s, it was more than enough time for Carmy to lose his footing in the exchange. He realized that as soon as he dialed back into what Mikey was saying, flinching at the whiplash of it all.

Regardless of how much or how little he’d missed, Mikey had clearly picked up on Carmy’s lack of response and made a comment about it. He was still staring at Kalia when he snapped at his brother and said, “No, I’m not fuckin’ listening because you’re not listening to me either. I, I can’t, I’m not talking about this.” He sighed. “No, I’m not. I’m not. Know what I’m doing? I’m hanging up. I am, I’m hanging up the fuckin’ phone.”

Kalia’s eyes widened at the statement, although she couldn’t pretend that she was overly surprised by it. What was a little more surprising was the fact that he actually followed through. As soon as the last syllable left his lips, Carmy pulled the phone away from his ear and ended the call.

He let out a sigh as he shoved his phone back into the pocket of his jeans. He didn’t say anything for a moment, just tilting his head back and looking up at the sky like it was going to give him some calm, or clarity, even though in all his years it had never done anything of the sort.

Finally, he turned back to Kalia. He took another inhale of his cigarette because saying, “Hey.”

She laughed at the stark difference in pace and tone between his phone conversation and how he was speaking to her. “Hey.” She shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “Do you want me to ask about that or just…?”

He couldn’t help but to let out a chuckle when he saw the look on her face as she asked. Light-hearted but not cruelly so. Shaking his head, he finished off his cigarette and dropped it to the ground. “Fuckin’ Mikey.”

She tilted her head. “What’d he say?”

He sighed, leaning back against the wall of the restaurant. “He was asking about Christmas.”

Raising her eyebrows, she just managed a soft, “Oh,” not sure what else to say.

Things had been so new with them the previous Christmas—they had still been in a bit of a limbo. There hadn’t been any expectations, or any real discussions about the holidays. Carmy hadn’t seemed like he wanted to talk about it, so Kalia didn’t waste energy trying to pry. The stakes were different this year, though. She’d been meaning to get around to asking what his plans were, so it seemed like there was no time quite like the present.

“Never calls me any other month of the year to see how I’m doing. But, but sure, yeah, of course. Because he just wants to give me a fuckin’ hard time about it.”

“Are you going home for Christmas?” she asked. It felt like the answer should be obvious but she also knew him well enough to know that acting logically wasn’t always his strong suit. It wasn’t his brother’s either, apparently.

“N—I don’t know. I don’t fuckin’ know,” he muttered, leaning his head back against the wall.

“Do you want to?” she asked. The laugh she let out was more nervous than it was humorous. “Because it doesn’t really seem like you want to.”

He chuckled, unable to stop himself. He knew that she was right, but he also didn’t have the time or the energy to get into all the intricacies of Christmas with the Berzatto’s on their ten-minute smoke break.

“It’s gonna be a fuckin’ mess if I don’t go.” He paused, letting the footage play back of years past. “It’s a fuckin’ mess when I’m there too, though, so who knows.”

She let a few seconds of silence pass before making her offer. “If you don’t want to go, you can always come spend it with my family.” She laughed. “Or if you want a break altogether and want to spend it alone, I get that too.”

He smiled as he stared at her. There was some appeal to the idea of spending Christmas by himself in his tiny apartment. He didn’t even have a tree or a string of lights up—it looked the same way it did the other eleven months of the year. But it would be quiet, calm, things that his childhood home in Chicago never were even on the best day.

He’d only met Kalia’s family once, and he didn’t count it, really, because of the circumstances. He’d just been one face in a sea of many that day. Most of her relatives probably wouldn’t remember that he’d even been there, but Kalia remembered. That was all that really mattered to Carmy anyway. The only other way some of them knew him was based on whatever stories Kalia told them about him, or if he was passing through in the background of a videocall between her and her parents. The notion of going there for the holidays was kind of nice on one hand, but on the other hand it was absolutely terrifying.

Kalia saw him locking up and shutting down in real time. “You don’t have to decide right now,” she said with a laugh. “Just something to keep in mind. An escape route, if you need it.”

His shoulders noticeably relaxed as he nodded. “Yeah, yeah, right. Okay. Thank, thank you.” He cleared his throat as he forced himself off the wall. Gesturing towards the door, he said, “I gotta get back.”

Kalia smiled, nodding. “Go ahead. I still got a couple minutes before I gotta head back in, and,” she rolled her eyes with a laugh, “I’m using every single one of them.”

Carmy smiled and gave her a nod but didn’t say anything else. He walked past her, reaching out and brushing his fingers against hers, letting them catch for half a second as he passed. There was a smile on his face about it until he was back inside the restaurant and the door swung shut behind him.

He purposely ignored the slew of texts and calls from Mikey. He ignored the texts from Nat, too, although there were far less of those. The brunt of her wrath would come when she saw him in person next, whenever that was going to be. Every Christmas he always wanted to blow them off but he hadn’t ever found it in himself to follow through on it. He’d always string together a list of reasons why he had to be there. Always. Plus, if he was honest with himself, he never felt like he had a good enough external reason to bail, something outside of himself. But now it seemed like he did. He’d have to think about it.

It was a few nights later when he let himself into Kalia’s apartment. It wasn’t often that their days off synced up, so they made do by just stopping by the other’s apartment when they had the time, and more importantly the energy, before or after their shifts. It took some doing, but they’d figured it out.

“Hey,” he called out as he toed his shoes off just inside the door. He didn’t hear her respond as he walked towards the kitchen where he could see that the light was on, but he still had the feeling that she was awake. Turning the corner, he started speaking up again. “Lia? You—” he stopped short with a laugh when he got a good look at her.

She was leaning back against the counter right beside the stove with a pot in her hand, separated from her palm by a potholder. She was holding a fork in her other hand, and was currently halfway through eating another forkful of macaroni and cheese.

“Hey,” she mumbled through her mouthful of food as she tried not to send it flying everywhere.

Walking over, Carmy peeked into the pot in her hand. He knew what it was already before he even looked, but he still asked, “What’s going on here?”

She swallowed what was in her mouth so that she could laugh. “Mac ‘n cheese.”

His eyebrows lifted just slightly as a smile stretched across his face. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Want some?” reaching over, she opened the drawer that housed her silverware and pulled out another fork. “I’ll share.”

He shook his head but still took it. “Sure.”

“I upgraded, you know. No more of the single-serve cups that go in the microwave.”

He laughed as he took a forkful from the pot. “Upgraded to the box?”

“So as not to offend your delicate sensibilities.”

It was a comment that, coming from someone else, he would’ve taken to heart. If it’d been Mikey, or Richie, or anyone back home really, he would’ve snapped back. It would’ve been an argument. But it was hard to jump to being on the defensive with Kalia. It wasn’t that they never argued or got after each other, but she hadn’t ever been the type to make that her default. It was foreign, but it was good.

“Yeah, because everyone knows that boxed Easy-Mac is much, much better than the cups.”

“Obviously,” she said as she gesticulated with her fork.

Carmy smiled, talking through the forkful of macaroni he’d just taken. “Obviously.”

They fell into comfortable silence after that. Part of Carmy wanted to go and shower off the day, wanted to leave his t-shirt and jeans in a heap on the floor of Kalia’s bathroom to be dealt with in the morning, but he couldn’t manage to peel himself away from her. Not even an hour before, he’d had the executive chef breathing down his neck making him want to run into oncoming traffic, but that felt so far away now. Kalia was standing there in her flannel pajama pants and an old t-shirt that had more rips and stains than any shirt or apron Carmy had worn in the kitchen over the years. Her socks were fitting for the time of year, fuzzy, warm, and decorated with snowmen. Her apartment overall was much more festive than Carmy’s was, but that was a low bar. She looked so comfortable. All the time she looked so comfortable, even when shit was hitting the fan. He wondered how she stayed like that all the time. Maybe it was a family thing, because lord knew that him and his family couldn’t stay calm if their lives depended on it.

“Your parents wouldn’t mind if I came for Christmas?” he asked as he tossed his dirty fork into the sink.

Kalia tried not to look too excited, not wanting to get her hopes up too high. “They wouldn’t mind at all. They, you know, they really wanna see you.” She laughed as she scooped the last bit of macaroni onto her fork. “At this point, they probably think I’m keeping you hidden in my basement or something.”

He chuckled, finding a spot beside her leaning back against the counter. “Did you tell them your apartment doesn’t have a basement?”

She rolled her eyes. “Shut up.” There was a pause. “But yeah, if you wanna come with me to my parents’, you can. My car seats at least two.”

“Two plus whatever is living in your back seat,” he replied with a tiny smirk, recalling all the times she simply just tossed whatever was on her passenger seat into the back on the occasions the two of them would go to or from work together.

“You can just walk, you know,” she shot back with a laugh as she moved and set the pot in the sink to soak, too tired and lazy to wash it right in that moment. “Or I can strap you to the roof like a deer.” She walked back over, gently toying with his hair for a moment. “Curls instead of antlers.”

He shook his head, eyes dropping to the floor as he tried not to look as amused as he felt. Taking a deep breath, he looked back at her. “I’ll let you know in a couple days?”

She nodded. “Let me know in a couple days.”

Neither of them brought it up again in the wake of that exchange. The rest of the night went by. Kalia told Carmy the highlights of what had gone on in the dining room during dinner service. Front of house and back of house never had the same brand of chaos and stress going on, but both ends of the house were always kept busy. That was for certain. Carmy listened as he got ready to finally turn in for the night. Kalia was already in bed, sitting with her back against the headboard and blanket pulled over her legs. She had her phone in her hand and Carmy was shuffling around the room but none of it was enough to break the flow of their conversation. Not even when Carmy slid into bed under the covers beside her, blanket draped over him while he had his elbow propped on the pillow on his side of the bed, head resting in his hand as he listened, as they talked.

It wasn’t until two days and three phone calls with his siblings later that Carmy came to a decision. He didn’t know how to start the conversation with Kalia, so instead of getting into all of the reasons why, he just asked, “What should I bring? To your parents’ house, I mean. What should I bring?”

She paused the search for her car keys in her purse when she processed what he’d said. “What should you bring?” she repeated back, smile growing wider with each word. “I don’t…you don’t have to bring anything. You’re bringing me.”

He was watching the sidewalk pass beneath their feet as they walked to her car together. “No, no. I gotta bring something.” He paused, thinking about the types of things people typically brought to gatherings like this. “Wine? There a wine your parents like?”

She shook her head. “My parents don’t drink. No one, um, no one really does when they go to their house, either.”

Carmy raised his eyebrows just slightly. It wasn’t that it was strange that her parents didn’t drink, per se. But he just couldn’t fathom a gathering of his own family with no alcohol involved. He wondered if that would make everything worse.

He realized that he’d been silent for just a few seconds too long for it to be comfortable. “Heard. Right.”

“You don’t have to bring anything,” she emphasized again, “but I’m sure if you wanted to help with prep and stuff my mom would appreciate it. She always,” Kalia rolled her eyes as she unlocked the doors to her car and slid into the driver’s seat, “she always leaves the prep up to my uncle. And he always thinks it’s gonna take way less time than it really does. Which, you know, isn’t a big deal. We just eat a little later—that’s fine. But,” she turned the key in the ignition, “I’m sure he’d love a helping hand, too.”

“What do you guys do?”

“It’s kind of like a hot-pot situation, but not quite. If you see it you’ll get it. Actually,” she laughed as she drove down the road, “we usually do it for New Years but I’m working New Years this year so I convinced them to do it for Christmas instead. It’s like my favorite holiday meal of the year.”

They let the conversation end there, the music from the radio filling the car instead of their own voices. Part of Kalia wanted to ask Carmy what had him making that decision, but she stopped herself. If he wanted to talk about it, he would. And even the things that he did want to talk about, it was rarely something as straight-forward as simply sitting across the table from her and talking about it. It was a lot of off-hand comments and half-stories, a lot of interjecting things into the middle of rants. It was just on everyone else to try and keep up and keep track of it all.

Christmas snuck up on them faster than they realized. Even when they had been discussing plans and logistics, it had felt like some far-off thing. Then, in the blink of an eye, Carmy heard the sound of Kalia letting herself into his apartment on Christmas morning.

“Just me!” she called out as she undid the zipper of her jacket.

Carmy appeared, walking out of his bedroom with a bottle in his hand. “Hey.”

Walking over to him, Kalia couldn’t stop the warm smile that spread across her face. Carmy had on one of his nice sweaters and a fresh, dark pair of jeans. His hair was a little tamer than usual, but not so much that he didn’t look like himself anymore.

Leaning in, she kissed him quickly on the lips. “You look good.”

Carmy looked at her, feeling a little less nervous when he saw how relaxed she seemed. “You too.” Even though her jacket was covering most of it, Carmy still knew what sweater she was wearing—the fuzzy white one that went off both her shoulders.

He was still busy staring at her when she gestured towards the bottle he was holding. “What’s that?”

“Oh,” he held it up so she could read the label, “I just, um, it’s sparkling cider. Is, is that okay? I can leave it if—”

“That’s good,” she stopped him short, nodding and smiling in approval. “They’ll like that.”

His body visibly relaxed at that, shoulders loosening. “Alright, good. Yeah.”

“You need a few more minutes or—”

“I’m good,” he answered her question before she even finished it. “Let me just—my shoes, and, and yeah.”

“Take your time,” she spoke after him as he took off to grab his shoes and jacket.

The drive didn’t take as long as either of them thought it would. It was still enough time for Carmy to reach the brink of driving himself crazy as he sat jittering in the passenger seat. Kalia could only look over at him so many times while she was keeping an eye on the road in front of them, but even in her peripheral she saw him, numerous times, go to reach for the pack of cigarettes in his coat pocket and then stop himself. She wanted to tell him that it was okay, that if he wanted to have one she wasn’t going to kick him out of the car. But he knew that already—she knew that he knew that. Instead, she took one hand off the steering wheel and rested it on his leg. It got the bouncing in his foot to stop but then it just shifted upwards and into his fingers that began to drum against the windowsill.

“It’s not, you know, it’s not like it’s some big to-do. It’s just,” she shrugged, “Christmas. We get together and eat food. No crazy heaps of presents of anything.” She turned and looked at him for a brief moment. “We do secret Santa.”

“Yeah?”

She nodded. “Yep. We were all broke for a while. Some of us,” she lifted her hand from his leg and pointed at herself, “still kind of are. So it’s just easier that way. Less pressure.”

“Who’d you get?”

“My mom.”

The idea of that happening in his own life was enough to make Carmy’s stomach twist into a knot and it wasn’t even really happening to him. He pushed the feeling down as well as he could. “Wh-what’d you get her?”

“You!” she replied with a laugh. She shook her head. “Kidding. Kind of. But she is so excited to meet you.”

“Shit,” he said without thinking better of it. He froze up as soon as the word came out of his mouth, afraid of what was coming next.

Rather than anger, Kalia just met him with amusement. “She’s not scary. My dad isn’t either, really. My uncle is the one you should probably be worried about.” She paused, switching lanes on the highway. “It was funny, though. The first time I tried to tell her I was dating you, I said I was seeing the chef from the restaurant. And, and I had no idea why she got so mad about it, you know? She didn’t know you.”

“She got mad?”

Kalia could hardly talk through her laughter. “Yeah. Because the last time I talked to her about a chef,” she shook her head, “the chef from the restaurant, I was telling her about your asshole boss.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Now Carmy was laughing too. “She thought you were dating—”

“Yeah,” she cut him off with a laugh and a nod. “So, you know, no matter what you’re going to be better than who she originally thought I’d be bringing home on the holidays.”

“Jesus,” Carmy said as he shook his head, running his hand back through his hair. He had to admit, though, he felt a little better.

When they pulled into the driveway at her parents’ house, Carmy couldn’t stop himself from noticing the other cars in the driveway. Not what type of car or even what color, but just the fact that their driveway was full. He could feel the panic starting to creep back up his spine and out through his limbs. Kalia hadn’t even put her car in park yet and all he was picturing was all the years at his mother’s house, a full driveway, so full that they parked their cars on the sides of the street. The house was even fuller. Every year. So many people and so much noise. So much yelling.

“You ready?” Her voice, once again, pulled him out of his thoughts.

He turned to look at her, nodding although he didn’t know how much he believed it. “Yeah. Um, yeah. I’m, I’m ready. Are you?”

“Come here.” Still buckled in, Kalia leaned over, hand resting on the center console of her car, and kissed him. “They’re going to love you, Carm.”

He let out an unsteady laugh. “Let’s hope.”

Carmy trailed right behind her as she walked up the driveway. He watched her as she knocked on the front door, but that the formality was basically pointless because she was turning the knob with her other hand and pushing it open even as she knocked. She hardly had one foot inside the house and she was calling out, “Hello,” and, “Merry Christmas!” He followed close behind but didn’t say a word, just looking around the house instead.

“Hey!” a man called out as he poked his head out form around a corner. “Look who it is!” He walked over and wrapped Kalia in a tight hug, paying no mind to the knife that he was holding in one hand.

She laughed as she hugged him back. “Careful waving that thing around.”

“Not waving,” he said as he stepped back. Diverting his attention, he looked at Carmy. “You’re the guy, huh?”

Carmy’s eyes went wide, a scared fawn in the headlights. The man’s words didn’t sound threatening or accusatory in any way but Carmy still felt like he was on trial. There was only one correct response to that question and yet he still couldn’t spit it out.

Luckily Kalia stepped in to cover for him. “Can you try that again without the knife in your hand?” she asked with a laugh. Slipping her hand into Carmy’s, she said, “This is Carmy—the guy who is going to make sure we don’t start eating dinner at ten tonight.”

“That only happened once!”

“And I will never let you forget it,” she joked. Looking over at Carmy, she said, “Carm, this is my Uncle Rich.”

“N-nice to meet you,” Carmy said, pulling his hand from Kalia’s so he could shake her uncle’s.

“What’ve we got here?” her uncle asked, breaking off the handshake so he could gesture to the bottle that Carmy was holding in his hand.

Suddenly Carmy was overcome with the urge to throw the thing right back out the front door they’d just walked through. He didn’t want to hand it over, didn’t want to show it, afraid that it was going to be met with ridicule or disdain of some kind.

He fought through it, holding the bottle out to the man in front of him. He somehow managed to keep his hand steady, too. “Just, um, just some sparkling cider. Lia mentioned that you guys don’t really—”

“Alright!” he exclaimed, taking it with the hand that wasn’t holding onto the knife. “Good man.”

Then, like he was letting everyone know that the introduction and conversation was over with, Kalia’s uncle turned on his heel and headed back to the kitchen. When the man rounded the corner back out of sight, Carmy let out a breath that he hadn’t meant to start holding.

“See?” she said as she crouched down to start taking off her shoes. “Not that bad. He’s the…most…out of everyone. You’re gonna be fine.”

Carmy didn’t know how much he believed her, but there was nothing left to do but take her word for it now. He leaned down to unlace his shoes and at that point he knew that he was in it. He was trying to figure out what to say in response to her reassurance when she grabbed his hand and started pulling him deeper into the house.

It couldn’t have felt more different than being home. It couldn’t have felt more different than being around his own family. He’d hardly been able to spit out his own name to Kalia’s parents when he was introducing himself because of all the panic lodged in his throat. There was no way that her mother and father didn’t see it, didn’t hear the strain in his voice. They didn’t say anything, though, didn’t even give him so much as a sideways look about it. They were so kind, gentle even. Carmy knew that he would get around to appreciating that at some point.

He maneuvered his way through an initial round of small talk with the rest of Kalia’s family. He wasn’t graceful about it, and he needed ample assistance from Kalia, but he got through it. It felt foreign and uncomfortable but then he felt the way that Kalia was leaning against him as they all spoke gathered in the living room. Some people were sitting, others standing or half-perched on the arm of the sofa. There were snacks on the coffee table and gift bags under the tree. Music was playing at an appropriate volume and the conversations were loud but they weren’t deafening, weren’t at a volume that would raise anyone’s cortisol levels. It was all lovely and pleasant and yet Carmy had to make a conscious effort to not hold Kalia’s arm in a vice grip.

“Alright.” Her uncle interjected himself into all of the conversations that were happening as he entered the room, a stack of cups in one hand and the bottle of sparkling cider that Carmy had brought in the other. “First round for everyone is on Carmen. Don’t worry,” he jokingly reassured everyone as he passed around cups, “I already tried it—it’s good.”

Carmy could’ve sworn he felt his knees knock together out of nerves—it didn’t matter that everyone seemed perfectly happy and perhaps even excited about it. He felt like he was on trial. He worked through it as he took the cup that Rich handed him, watching him fill it with a generous amount.

“Kali said that you’re my hired help for the night?” he asked as he watched Carmy take a sip.

Carmy nodded, forcing himself to remember not to talk with his mouth full. That was the last thing he needed. “Yeah. I, I’ll even work for free,” he joked and hoped it sounded more confident than it did in his head.

It was passable at least, because Rich laughed as he set the bottle down on the coffee table alongside the rest of everything and motioned for Carmy to follow him. “Dangerous words but come on, then.”

Even though she had been right next to Carmy the entire time and saw everything, he still turned to Kalia and gestured towards her uncle, towards the kitchen. “I’m gonna…” he trailed off, letting the hand gesture finish the sentence for him.

She laughed and nodded. “I heard.” She paused, taking a moment to search his expression. “Want reinforcements?”

He didn’t hesitate to nod. “Maybe. Maybe, yeah,” he answered, laughing despite the nerves.

“Sounds good.”

“What?” Rich said as he watched them both walk towards the kitchen. “Don’t trust me around the kid with a knife in my hand?”

Kaila shook her head as she found a seat on the opposite side of the kitchen island from where the two of them would be prepping everything. “I don’t trust you around anyone with a knife in your hand.”

Carmy was listening to them, sort of, but most of his attention was focused on everything that was laid out on the island in front of him and the other counters in the kitchen. It was chaos, but it was organized chaos. Real organized chaos—not the chaos that Donna spent year after year trying to play off as organized. Even though Carmy had just set foot into the kitchen, he could see the underlying threads of order to it.

“What do you need help with?” Carmy asked, eyes still fixed on the cutting boards in front of him as he started to push up the sleeves of his sweater.

Carmy couldn’t see it, too busy trying to think his way through the next step, but Kalia was across the island from him, smiling. And Rich was standing to the right of him and also smiling. Rich reached behind him and pulled a knife out of the block and handed it over to Carmy. “Dealer’s choice.”

He was about to answer when he took a good look at the knife that was in his hand. “Oh, shit,” he said before he could stop himself. He glanced across at Kalia. “Your parents—”

“Fuck no,” Rich cut him off with a laugh. “I keep these here for me.”

Carmy looked at Kalia for confirmation and she nodded as she sipped on her cider. “It’s true.”

For the first time all night Carmy felt at ease for a moment, as close to calm as he ever really managed to get these days. “Alright. I’ll, uh,” he gestured with his free hand to the cutting board that still had a huge piece of meat that needed to be sliced through, “yeah.”

Rich slid the cutting board so that it was in front of him. “All yours.” He grabbed a fresh cutting board to move onto the next thing. Out of the corner of his eye he watched as Carmy got right to work. Instantly zeroed in. He chuckled, waiting for Kalia to look at him. “Gotta bring him every year.”

She laughed and propped her elbows on the edge of the counter. “I’ll see what I can do.”

She sat and watched the two of them work. They were doing their own thing but somehow still in tandem with each other. She had never mentioned it to Carmy, but her uncle had spent most of his twenties and some of his thirties working in a kitchen. Never at the caliber that Carmy was currently operating at, but it wasn’t nothing. She never said anything, but as the minutes ticked by she had the feeling that Carmy could tell. Neither of them spoke about it but they each knew.

There was no ever truly being relaxed for Carmy. However the way he felt in that moment almost felt like he was cooking in the kitchen of his apartment, or Kalia’s. Not the same stakes of cooking at the restaurant, not the suffocating tension of being back in Chicago in his mom’s kitchen, or Mikey’s. He was listening to the way that Kalia and her uncle were chatting, the way that they would rope him into the conversation just enough to keep him included but not so much that he had to stop what he was doing. A precarious balance.

Carmy was listening to the two of them going back and forth about something that had happened at Christmas the year before when he felt his phone buzzing in the pocket of his jeans. He quickly wiped his hands on the towel hanging off the edge of the island before pulling his phone out. The world came to a screeching halt around him for a moment as he read his brother’s name on the phone screen. It shouldn’t have been surprising. If anything, the only surprising thing was that it had taken so long for someone back home to call him. His money would’ve been on Natalie.

He must’ve been standing there for longer than he realized, because Kalia spoke up, “Hey, you okay?”

Carmy cleared his throat, nodding as he rejected the call and put the phone back in his pocket. “Yeah, yeah I’m good.”

She wasn’t convinced, brows coming together for a moment. “You sure? If you need to—”

“I’m good, Lia,” he kept his voice quiet, not forgetting where he was, but firm enough to make it clear that he didn’t want to get into it all because of where he was. “Just Mikey.”

That answer didn’t do anything to quell her concerns. She knew that there was no such thing as just Mikey. She hadn’t ever met Mikey, or anyone in Carmy’s family for that matter, and she knew that there was a reason for that. He didn’t talk much about his siblings or his mother but there were a lot of moments when he managed to say plenty about them without have to speak much at all. Like the look in his eyes when he saw who was calling.

She knew it wasn’t the time to try and talk about it, so she conceded with a nod. “Okay.”

“Wanna grab stuff for the table, Kali?” Rich inserted himself back into the conversation, diverting it to a new direction with ease.

She hopped up from where she was sitting. “Sure thing.” She slipped behind Carmy to grab the bowls from the cupboard, fingers gently trailing over his back as she passed by him.

The kitchen fell silent once more when she walked out. Both Carmy and Rich went back to finishing up the last of the prep. Carmy was holding his breath as he moved the knife, waiting for the man beside him to say something, to start an argument. He wouldn’t have blamed him. He was used to it, anyhow.

Carmy was tense and braced for a cutting remark, thinking that was why Kalia had been kindly invited to leave the room. He heard the man next to him take a breath and he pinned his lips together in a flat line as he got ready to just get through whatever was coming next.

“Grab a couple bowls out of the cabinet behind me?” Rich said, no angry inflection to his voice at all. Carmy didn’t respond right away because he was still waiting for the hammer to drop. The only thing that got him into motion was the fact that Rich turned and actually looked at him. “Just need two more so we can bring these out. Big ones,” he said, gesturing to the last of the food they’d just finished prepping.

Swallowing past the panic, Carmy nodded. “Yeah, sure.”

He turned and went to the cabinet to grab everything. He had a bowl in one hand and just as he was going to grab the other from the shelf, it slipped from his grip and landed on the floor. It wasn’t a terribly far drop but it was enough to cause it to break, fracturing into pieces scattered across the floor.

“Shit, shit,” Carmy began stammering as he set the other bowl back on the shelf before he accidentally dropped that one too. He was too busy letting out a string of fuck’s and so sorry’s to realize that he was the only one who was worked up about what had just happened.

Kalia had heard the sound and spun on her heel immediately to go and make sure that everything was okay. “Hey, all good?”

“Sorry,” Carmy repeated over again as he stood up, a few of the larger pieces of ceramic in his hands. “I, I just, I fuckin’ dropped—” He stopped short, still shaking his head as he placed the pieces in the trash. “I’m sorry.”

Kalia’s heart clenched inside her chest, knowing that his reaction to such a small, fairly common, accident had to do with much more than what had just happened. “Carmen, it’s fine.”

“Yeah,” her uncle piped in, calm as ever as he brought over the broom and dustpan. “No big deal. Hey,” he chuckled, “least we didn’t have any food in it yet.”

Carmy forced out a short chuckle, not quite accepting that he was getting off the hook that easily. “Right.” His hands were all but trembling against his sides as he looked across the kitchen at Kalia. He didn’t want to step out but he also didn’t want to combust in the middle of her parents’ kitchen. He nodded towards the door. “I’m, I think I’m gonna just, real quick.”

She nodded. “You’re good.”

Rich didn’t say anything until he was done sweeping and putting the last few pieces of the shattered bowl into the garbage. By that point Carmy had slipped his shoes back on and stepped out the front door. He looked over at Kalia, silently but with a look on his face that asked the question for him.

“Christmas is hard. F-family is hard.”

He gave a nod of acknowledgement but didn’t say anything else about it. “Seems like a good kid.”

Her face softened into a smile. “He is.”

He pointed towards the door with the handle of the broom. “Go ahead. I’ll set the rest of this up.”

She gave him a quick hug to say thank you before she followed the same path that Carmy had just taken. She was pulling her jacket on over her shoulders as she stepped outside. Carmy was sitting on the front step of her parents’ house, one hand holding a cigarette and the other pressed to his forehead like it was the only thing stopping his head from rolling clean off.

She sat down next to him. Rather than saying anything, she let her leg fall so that it was resting against the side of his. They sat there in silence at first, just staring at the house across the street with it’s countless lights and so many inflatable decorations on the front lawn, the cords for them alone must’ve been a fire hazard.

Carmy offered the cigarette over to her out of reflex, exhaling a stream of smoke as he held his hand out to her. She smiled and took it, going back to looking across the street as she said, “Do you want to call them?”

He shook his head. He watched her bring the smoke to her lips before saying, “No. No, no I don’t think—no.” He paused, clearing his throat in an attempt to dispel his own awkward feelings. “Sorry about the bowl.”

She smiled at him as she handed the cigarette back. “It’s fine. There’s usually one or two fallen soldiers every holiday.”

He nodded, heart rate still spiked. “Right.” He took another drag. “They seem nice—your family.”

“Yeah, they’re alright,” she joked.

“Your uncle calls you Kali.”

She nodded, leaning against his side. “He does.” She tilted her head so that she was looking at him. “What about it?”

He shook his head. “Nothing. Just, I always—just something I noticed.”

“Well, when my sister was around having Luci and Lia would’ve been, I don’t know, borderline cruel?” she laughed. “So he settled on Kali for me. Besides, my uncle called you a good kid. So we’re both doing alright.” She watched as he smiled for a moment and snubbed out the last of the cigarette. “You okay?”

He nodded. “Yeah. S-sorry. About all of that. And this.”

She placed her hand on his leg. “Wanna go eat?”

“Yeah.” He slowly stood up and offered her a hand to help do the same. “Thank you.”

She brushed off the backs of her legs. “Of course. You know—”

They both gave pause when they heard Carmy’s phone going off again. She saw him hesitate before taking it out to see who was calling even though they both already knew. Natalie’s name was lighting up the screen now. Carmy was picturing what his mom’s house was probably like at that point, certainly not as quiet and happy as what was waiting for him on the other side of the door that he was currently standing in front of.

“Do you wanna answer? Talk to them for a minute? I can, you know,” she gestured to the house.

Carmy thought on it until he missed the call. It was only then that he shook his head. “No. No it’s fine.” He shut his phone completely off. “I’ll figure that shit out later.”

There was a brief moment of hesitation but she nodded. “Okay.”

He watched her reach for the door. It took a couple seconds to for him to make his thoughts translate into motion, but once he did, he reached for her hand that wasn’t on the door. He pulled her back just enough to stop her from opening the door. When she turned around to ask him if everything was alright, he pulled her in and pressed a kiss to her lips that quickly turned into a kiss on her cheek as he wrapped his arms around her in a hug. He hooked his chin over her shoulder, squeezing her tight to him as he shut his eyes for a moment. She returned the embrace, matching his energy with one hand splayed across his back and the other resting on the back of his head.

When he pulled away, some of the tension was gone from his shoulders. Despite the gap between them, his fingers were still tangled with hers. He offered a small, almost embarrassed smile. “Thank you, you know, for, for all this.”

Her smile was wide, bright. Nodding, she leaned in and kissed him quickly on the lips. “You’re always welcome here.”

That was the last that either of them said about it before heading back into the house. As soon as they opened the door they could hear the sounds of bowls being passed around and set down on the table. Everyone was talking and laughing, all of the conversation condensed into one space now.

No one batted an eye when the two of them stepped into the dining room and found their seats at one end of the table. They got pulled right into the conversation like they had been there the entire time. Carmy’s leg bounced lightly underneath the table as he looked at all the food spread out in front of them all.

Managing to get himself out of his head for a moment, he accepted the bowl that was being passed to him. Kalia’s uncle nodded as he handed it over, following it up with a pair of chopsticks. “Know how to use those?” he asked with a laugh.

Carmy chuckled as he nodded, smile coming easier than he thought it would. “I do alright, yeah.”

“Good,” he remarked as he sat back down. Laughter was tinging his voice as he said, “Be a shame if you did all that work and you couldn’t eat any of it.”

“Yeah,” Carmy agreed, laughing along with him, “that’d be rough.”

He was so focused on the sound of everyone laughing and talking that he almost didn’t realize the way that Kalia placed her hand on his leg again. He didn’t notice it until he felt himself stop jittering. He turned to look at her, about to reassure her that he was fine, but she was already wrapped up in a conversation with her cousin. Carmy smiled, putting his hand on top of hers as it rested on his leg. She didn’t miss a beat in her conversation as she gave his hand a gentle squeeze. He felt a little more of the tension drip out from his shoulders as he settled into his seat, wrapping his head around where he really was.

[choicesfandomappreciation]

If yes or maybe....

what kind of things would you like to see included? Any particular prompts?

Any certain way of keeping track (ie-Bingo board, checklist, etc)?

Would you want it to be self paced, a bunch of ideas and complete it anytime in the month, weekly ideas and check ins?

Would you want me to reblog things here (i.e.: you reblog a story with a kind comment and tag me, I'd share it too)? or would you rather not see this blog reblog everything?

Should there be a secret exchange as a part of it, even if it's just getting a match to write a kind and encouraging message for?

any other thoughts and ideas?

[queen-of-the-avengers]

A Dream Come True

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.3k

Warnings: fluff <3

Request by anon: When steve and vixen ever settle down they might have a small wedding with their friends invited , loving vows , steve would have a simple yet beautiful rings for him and vixen, vixen herself would make her wedding dress (40's and 50s inspiration) bucky is the best man as for natasha as the maid of honor . Adorable part they ask tony morgan and pepper if morgan can be the flower girl they allow it , sam walks her down the isle even tearing up " i cant belive you two are tying the knot! ;-;" she smiles at sam "its alrigjt sam^~^ dont be sad”. Oh the reception is both sweet and little rowdy (best mans speach lol bucky remembering how they had good times in the past ) some cracked some laughs, theres tears and one did the protective brother mood "he better not hurt my sister" type to the bride and grooms first dance as a married couple ;-; 

Request by anon: If vixen and steve are getting married . Could vixen make her wedding dress inspired by 40s era and 1900s style hair updo . And we guess steve would be in his 40s military suit in the wedding lol both buck and sam are the best men morgan is the flower girl 🥲 hope its not much pressure

Summary: It's your wedding day, a day you never thought would come. You're marrying your best friend, the love of your life. After darkness clouded your entire life, you're finally seeing the sun.

Cat and Mouse Masterlist

Squares Filled: clint's farm (2021) for @star-spangled-bingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3

x

Before you were taken, before you got your world turned upside down, you had a dream. You had a dream that one day you’d be wearing a beautiful white gown that closely resembles the one your mother wore (hers got destroyed in a house fire when you were young), standing in a room with all of your best friends who couldn't be happier for you, marrying the love of your life. You had that dream many times even after you got taken by Hydra. It’s what kept you from going insane in the beginning. When things got tough, you’d close your eyes and imagine your wedding day.

Never did you think it would finally come, and it finally did.

Instead of a room filled with a ton of your friends, it’s Natasha. She died giving herself up for the Soul Stone, but when you and Steve returned the stones, they gave her back in exchange for the stone. You didn’t think that was possible but it was, and you brought her home to everyone. 

It’s sad that Tony never knew she made it.

You stand in front of the floor-length mirror and admire the dress you made yourself. You drew inspiration from your mother’s wedding dress. It’s been so long since you’ve seen it but you can recall every detail by memory. It’s not an exact replica but is very similar. Natasha walks up behind you and fixes the dress from the back. It has an open back that clips right behind your neck, and the entire bodice is a flowery lace material. The dress goes all the way down to your feet and is loose and airy, nothing like those puffy dresses people where nowadays.

“You look beautiful,” Natasha smiles.

“Thanks, Nat,” you whisper.

She is your Maid of Honor while Bucky is Steve’s best man. You only have one person because the wedding is so small. Clint offered his farm for you to use which is why it’s so small. The only people in attendance are your closest friends and family--mostly Avengers and their family. There are minimal decorations but it’s very elegant and intimate.

Someone knocks on the door and you two turn to see Sam walk in.

“It’s time.”

“I’ll see you out there.”

Natasha kisses your cheek and leaves the room. When you asked Sam to walk you down the aisle, you could have sworn you saw tears roll down. Your parents are long gone and you wanted the person giving you away to mean something to you. Sam is that person. You and Bcuky are close but by trauma, and Sam was the next best thing.

“Wow, you look beautiful.”

“Thank you, Sam.”

“Are you ready for the rest of your life?”

“Is Steve?” you joke. You put your veil on and smile. “I’m ready.”

Bucky and Natasha go out first followed by Morgan who is your flower girl. Pepper had no problem with letting her little girl be part of your wedding. Toy has been a big part of your life, so having her be the flower girl is like having a part of the wedding. There is a picture of him sitting next to Pepper to symbolize his presence along with everyone else who has died.

Then, you and Sam enter the main ceremony room, and everyone rises. Steve stands at the altar wearing his 40s military uniform that Bucky and Sam stole from one of the museums. It still fits him like a glove. The second he sees you, he immediately gets tears. He never thought he’d get to his day with you. He was positive that a mission would take him out.

Sam reaches the altar and kisses your cheek over the veil before taking a seat in the front. The ceremony doesn’t last very long and you get to your vows quicker than you thought. Both you and Steve have written your own vows, and he lets you go first.

“I don’t know where to start, honestly. Growing up, I had this idea of what I wanted my wedding day to look like. I had the dress picked out, who I wanted my bridesmaids to be, where I wanted the wedding, and what my first song was going to be. Then, I was taken and forced into something I didn’t want to do. I was broken down, beaten, and shaped into what Hydra wanted me to be. I didn’t know I could have the things I wanted. Soon, my mind wasn’t even my own. 

“Then, I met you and it was like I could finally see. It’s like I’ve been in this tunnel all my life and seeing you brought me out of it and into the light. I got Hydra out of my head. I gained control of my life. I took back what they stole from me thanks to you. You saved me in more ways than one, and I can’t believe I get to stand up here and marry you.”

“I had a dream of my own. This was before the military where I wanted to marry a nice girl and make a family of my own. Like you, I was unable to. I had a duty to my country and gave it my all. The guy who went into the ice nearly a century ago had goals, and when I came out of it, those goals changed. I just needed to get through the day and face the next. I didn’t know I could have all this until I met you. You say I saved you when it’s you who saved me. I found myself wishing for the things I did in the 40s. Now I get to have them with you by my side. You’re a dream come true, Y/N.”

The rings you two have are simple ones but hold so much meaning. When you two kiss, everyone stands and cheers. The reception is in the same area as the ceremony but everyone makes room for your and Steve’s first dance as a married couple. It’s sensual. It’s intimate. It’s romantic. It’s everything you’ve ever wanted. Everyone else disappears since the only person who matters to you at that moment is Steve.

Afterwards, you go off to be with the girls and Steve goes off to be with his boys. Sam, Thor, and Clint toss back shots just as Bucky clasps a hand on his shoulder.

“Congratulations, man.”

“Thanks.”

“Do I have to have the hurt-her-and-I’ll-hurt-you talk?”

“No,” Steve chuckles.

“You know I’ll do it. I’ll kick your ass if you hurt her.”

“I know, and I’d let you.”

“She’d probably do the ass-kicking if we’re being honest,” Sam interjects with a smile.

“Yeah, she would,” Steve laughs.

One of the wedding games you planned is a game where you and Steve are sitting back-to-back with both shoes in hand. You have one of yours and one of his, and he has the other pair. Bucky has cards that he will read and you have to raise a shoe for the person you think is the most like the card.

“This is a great one to start with. Who wears the pants in the relationship?”

You immediately hold up your shoe while Steve holds up his own. Everyone laughs at the dynamic of your relationship, and Bucky moves on.

“Who is the best chef?” Both you and Steve hold up his shoes. “Who is needier when they’re sick?” Again, both of you hold up Steve’s shoes. “Who is the better driver?” This time, you two put up your shoes. You’ve had more practice. “I don’t know, Y/N, I’ve been in a car with you before.”

“You lived, didn’t you?” you grin at Bucky.

Nothing can ruin this moment. Hydra is gone from your head, Thanos is gone, and you can only go up from here.

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[gallavichthings]

Gallavich Things Events Calendar

Hello, lovelies!

The poll I made last week isn't closed yet, but it's clear to see where it's heading. Therefore, and to ease everyone's anxiety, here's the calendar with the events this blog will be hosting FOR THE NEXT YEAR (with more details about each event after the cut):

Sep./23

1st or 2nd week: guidelines and prompts for the Kinktober will be posted.

Oct./23

Kinktober

Nov./23

1st or 2nd week: guidelines for the Masquerade posted/sign-ups open

Dec./23

1st week: sign-ups for the Masquerade close

2nd week (exact day TBD): Masquerade

also 2nd week: guidelines for the gift exchange posted and sign-ups open

Jan./24

2nd week: Deadline to send guesses about the Masquerade (possibly extended if there's a large number of fics);

also 2nd week: Sign-ups close for the gift exchange and prompts are posted

Feb./24

14th: gift exchange (possibly taking over more days, depending on the number of participants)

Mar./24

My birthday lol; jk, we rest. We rest, ok? And you can participate on other events posted by other blogs. But if you want to send me birthday gifts, I'll accept. XD

Apr./24

Spring cleaning again??? Or we rest some more, idk.

May/24

Gallavich Week themes revealed

Jun./24

2nd or 3rd week: Gallavich Week

Jul./24

We rest again? Go outside? Enjoy the summer?

Aug./24

A.U.gust again? Rinse & repeat?

And now for more details:

About the Kinktober, I probably won't be doing a theme per day because I feel like that might be tiring. Also, we just did that for A.U.gust and I saw another Gallavich blog posting something like that for September, so I figured we give people a bit more freedom this time around. I'm thinking of either just a list of prompts that you can post whenever, or a bingo, or one ample/general theme per week... But I'm open to suggestions.

About the Masquerade: Yes, I know most people voted to have it along the Kinktober, but there was also a quite significant amount of people who said they'd rather have it after it. I figured the people who voted to have it alongside Kinktober would still participate it if I had it later, but the opposite was likely not true, so I figured this was better. Also, I will be requesting sign-ups, but they're just so I can organize everything, so the deadline will be quite close to the posting day. Posting will likely be on an AO3 anonymous collection (I'll have to test that first), and the guesses will be made through a Google Form. One more thing: I think it would be nice to have fanart/videos/gifsets as the prizes (preferably about the Masquerade fics themselves), both for the person (or people) who manage to guess the most authors correctly and for the author who manages to "deceive" more people (still deciding on that, but anyway...), so if you make any of this and would like to volunteer, let me know.

About the gift exchange: it was postponed for next year for three reasons: 1) there was no set event in February, so I figured this would be cute and fit the theme of Valentine's Day - instead of secret Santas, you'll have secret admirers ;) ; 2) it gives people more time to participate, since most other fandoms have their gift exchange events at the end of the year; 3) it leaves the Masquerade at the end of the year, which is an event with lower stakes (no one is expecting people to produce anything, so it's easier to cancel their participation if something happens). I reserved actual Valentine's Day for it, but I believe it'll actually happen throughout the week. The format will be the same as in the last couple of years, with participants picking the prompts they'd like to fulfill.

I assumed we'll be doing A.U.gust again next year, but that's not set in stone. Spring Cleaning is also a possible event, but we'll see. Gallavich Week will be happening, as always.

I hope this has helped! If you have any questions,suggestions or comments at all, feel free to send me an ask.

[untasdedessin]

My thoughts on chapter 138 of Four Knights of the Apocalypse:

A brief summary without going into too much detail:

In this chapter, we follow Nasien's journey into the world of fairies, in the company of Tioreh. After passing through the Tunnel of Whispers to try out his medicine on Percival, Nasien goes on to meet the royal family.While the King of the Fairies and the Queen of the Giants seem to welcome Nasien with open arms, this is not the case for all the couple's children. The conversation is suddenly interrupted by a group of fairies who come to warn that fairy creatures have committed an act of changeling.

As Suzuki hinted in an author-reader response, King and Diane have several children, each very different from the next. Alas, they seem (except perhaps one of them) old enough not to be able to tick the Gerheade babysitter checkbox in my bingo, but I don't despair of ticking other boxes soon. Rather than talking about Harlequin and Diane's children, even though he'd have a lot to say, I'd rather focus on the world of fairies and the creatures that inhabit it.

We do get to discover a little more about the fairy realm and the children of the Fairy King and Giant Queen. I've already taken a few screenshots of the chapter and the previous one, in preparation for future drawings. I'm happy because the fairy world is just as I'd imagined it: giant plants and mushrooms, a world where fairy cohabit with other fairy creatures (hide-and-seek, chicken-matango, etc.) in a misty atmosphere.

At the end of the chapter, we discover that the group behind the changeling is a group of Hide-and-seek.

The Hide-and-seek are fairy-like creatures introduced to us in chapter 4 of Seven Deadly Sins, in the Forest of White Dreams, when Meliodas and Elizabeth have just begun their journey to find the Sins. These creatures have the unique ability to mimic the appearance of their victims to perfection. They inhabit the forests of Britannia. We also know that the Hide-and-seek of the Awepine Forest (a forest destroyed by the creation of Vazeil's labyrinth) seem to appreciate human flesh. But we don't know if this behavior is unique to the imps of this forest. What is certain is that the Hide-and-seek of the Awepine Forest have a different cape and a different symbol on the hood from the Hide-and-seek of the King's Forest or the Forest of White Dreams.

Let's talk about their appearance: these small creatures are recognizable by the hooded cape that covers most of their body. They have a large nose covered with buttons, round pupil-less eyes on either side of the nose, and a wide mouth set with pointed teeth. In this chapter, we get to see a Hide-and-seek without a hood, but it's not the first time we've seen one without. One of the illustrations in the Light Novel, Seven Days, shows us three of them.

The imp that Myrte catches has a slightly different appearance from those in this illustration. In addition to the hair and eyes, the shape of the face is morphologically closer to that of a fairy's face, than the oval face of his fellows. But perhaps it's the angle of the face that gives this impression. So the number of horns is not the only diversity of the Hide-and-seek. I'm not commenting on the absence of a symbol on the hood at the moment, as Suzuki only draws it on close-up panels. But I think it would be interesting to know it and to compare it with the Hide-and-seek of the Awepine forest, whose intentions are rather evil.

Hide-and-seek are also known as Prankster Imps, and while up until now only their ability to deceive their victims by imitating their appearance could explain this name, this chapter gives us other answers. These creatures practice changeling. Changeling is the practice of exchanging a human baby for a baby fairy or other creature, and many legends exist in Europe. For the moment we don't know whether previous acts of changeling have been carried out solely by Hide-and-seek, but we may find out more in the next chapter.

A quick look back at one of the fairy who comes to warn the royal family of the kidnapping of a human. In the fairy group,we can see a fairy who seems to be Kulumil (a character from the film Grudge of Edinburgh), but we can't be 100% sure it's her. Suzuki, for example, drew several fairy characters in SDS who look like Puora without being Puora (same face, hair, eyes, but different clothes and sometimes different wings from the Puora we know). Just as there's a clearly distinct category of bearded fairy, we have a category of cherubic fairy that includes Puora and Kulumil, and this is the first time we've seen one in Four Knights of the Apocalypse.

I'll end this commentary by mentioning Gerheade's whereabouts. After this chapter, I'm no longer sure she's in the fairy realm.

Even if fairy people don't have the same perception of time as humans, I don't think they're all unaware of what's going on in Britannia at the moment. In times of crisis, if Gerheade isn't at the Fairy King's side, she may be in Britannia to keep an eye on events (and possibly report them to the Fairy King afterwards), and to lend a helping hand to the Liones camp. If Meliodas thinks of her as a potential ally of the Knights of the Apocalypse, wouldn't it be because she's recently been brought in to help Liones in some way? It's a possibility I don't want to rule out. Perhaps she's also on the side of Matrona (also a potential ally) and the clan of giants. What's certain is that Suzuki's decision not to show us Gerheade means he has no use for her at the moment.

If I find something interesting to say for chapter 139, I'll make another comment like that.

[sparktober]

Farewell until next year!

(screencap courtesy of whiskey_jack/@lonesomehighways)

What a great Sparktober this has been! Huge thanks to all the gif makers, fic writers, vidders, manippers, commenters, readers, shippers, watch party participants, and cheerleaders! Love to see a fandom thriving decades after a show has wrapped. <3 Special shout-outs to @havocthecat this year for running the fic exchange (fics have been revealed; go check them out!) and Theme Days, to @mylittleredgirl for Bingo Card prompts and the generator, and to @al-the-grammar-geek for facilitating Watch Parties! It's a labor of love! We collected lots of great suggestions for the 20th (!) anniversary next year, so keep following this Tumblr for notifications about the Airdate Anniversary and more starting next summer. That's a wrap!

[kannagms]

As someone who has been a fan of the boys since the beginning of Buzzfeed Unsolved when Ryan was doing his little PowerPoint presentations and reading from a single sheet of printer paper, this entire Watcher fiasco is insane and was definitely not on my 2024 bingo card.

Back when Ryan and Shane announced that they were leaving Buzzfeed to start their own entertainment company with Steven, I was excited! I wanted to see what new, fun, interesting, and creative content they would put out without Buzzfeed holding them back. I'm a huge fan of Mystery and Ghost Files, Puppet History, Are You Scared?, Too Many Spirits, Top 5 Beatdown. Loved Spooky Small Talk before it was scrapped. I watched every new ep that came out, even the ones I didn't like that much like Steven's food ones, and liked and commented because I wanted to support them as much as possible. I rewatch all my favorite episodes. I have a dedicated playlist of Ryan and Shane content because it helps me fall asleep at night. When I didn't have much I at least had Watcher to keep my smile on my face and continuous laughter going when I didn't feel much like going on.

I got the notification 3 days ago about a new Watcher video and was stunned at what I saw. Sure I can watch episode 1 of new shows and watch some trailers, but I'm gonna have to sub to yet another streaming service to watch anything more. A streaming service that doesn't even have an app, so if I want to add anything to my sleep playlist, I'm gonna have to leave my phone on all night.

Anyways, I immediately went and checked the boys' socials and see what they posted for any additional info. Thousands upon thousands of negative comments all saying basically the same thing:

I can't afford $6/month/not everyone has $6 laying around, and it can really make or break someone financially.

Been a fan since Unsolved, guess I'm not a watcher anymore.

This is a bad move.

From what I've seen across reddit, Twitter, tiktok, Instagram, and Tumblr, the negative far outweigh the positive. The only "positive" comments I've seen haven't really been "oh this is a great idea! I'm gonna go sub right now!!" It's really been more, "well it's their business, they can do what they want with it." Or simply bashing other people because they cannot afford $6 a month or $60 a year, which really comes off as boomer ideology. You know, the old "if millennials would stop eating avocado toast or buying Starbucks maybe they can afford a house!" While completely ignoring the global economic crisis we are all facing. It's completely out of check with the fact that there's so many of us not just in America, but in the world who are barely living paycheck to paycheck. That there are so many people who WISH they could get a Starbucks coffee in the morning but often times have to skip meals because they cannot afford food if they want to keep a roof over their heads, you know the ridiculous amount of money that we spend to rent a small space. Never gonna forget the one apartment I looked at that was $800 a month, no utilities included, no parking, no pets allowed, and I could lay flat on the ground and have my 5'4" length reach comfortably in every single room. Wasn't even a kitchen or room for a single size bed (mild tangent rant, I now pay $1300 for a 2 bedroom apartment, most utilities included, but bad parking)

And for Steven to say that anyone can afford $6 is just so factually wrong. Has anyone checked the foreign exchange rate for $6? Some threads I've seen on Reddit are insane. For some people 6 USD translates to someone's entire rent or a week's worth of food. If I recall the comment correctly, one person said that in their country, Netflix comes out to $2 USD, and is considered a luxury item that only the upper class/wealthy have.

Maybe I'm just being bitter. Maybe I'm just overreacting to a piece of content I loved and cherished being pushed behind a paywall. It just feels like a slap in the face to fans who have spent countless hours soaking in their content, recommending them to friends, making new friends over a shared interest, and now feeling like they didn't matter at all. That we were just dollar signs. To hear them going from thanking dedicated fans for helping them get to where they are to but now you gotta give us more money if you want to keep being fans and now we are going to ignore your backlash just feels disingenuous and heartbreaking.

[nekoannie-chan]

Mind

Title: Mind.

Ship: Steve Rogers X Agent of HYDRA!Mutant!Reader.

Word count: 264 words.

Square: E3 “Mind control.”

Rating: Teen.

Summary: Steve can’t control his mind.

Major Tags: Mind control.

Additional tags: This is my entry to @cabottombingo Captain Bottom Bingo round 2. CABB2024.

Links: Wattpad, Ao3, Spanish version.

@saiyanprincessswanie

My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistakes, please let me know and I will correct them.

I don’t give any kind of permission for my fics to be posted on other platforms or languages (I translate myself my work) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don't steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other people. The only exception is the ones I gifted 'cuz now belong to someone else. If you find any of my works on a different platform and are not one of my accounts, please let me know. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Marvel's characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.

Add yourself to my taglist here.

My other media where I publish:  Ao3, Wattpad, ffnet, TikTok, Instagram, Twitter. 

If you like it, please vote, comment, and give me feedback to improve my skills and reblog.

Tags: @sinceimetyou @unnuevosoltransformalarealidad @navybrat817 @angrythingstarlight @shield-agent78 @charmed-asylum @pandaxnienke @real-fbi @Smokeandnailz @white-wolf1940 @tenaciousperfectionunknown @xoxonotme @bluemusickid @leyannrae @Harrysthiccthighss @Marvelatthisone @caplanbuckybarnes @sapphire-rogers @lizzieolseniskinda @notyourtypicalrose @hallecarey1 @nana1000night @talia-rumlow @writingshae @alexxavicry @azulatodoryuga @daemonslittlebitch @chaoticcollectivenightmare @endlesstwanted @chemtrails-club  @marigoldreamer @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @Here4thefanfics @theestorm @patzammit @kmc1989 @somegirlfromasgard

Steve had faced some mutants who were part of HYDRA before, but what was about to happen? He had never considered it as if it were an option. In the midst of the fight, a new threat emerged: you appeared; no one would suspect you, but the reality was that you could control minds and cause any being to do what you wanted.

You had been recruited by Hydra at an early age because of your unique abilities. You were cold and calculating, totally committed to the HYDRA cause, not to mention what you had been promised, and so it was; you were going to get it.

After several minutes, you could finally see Steve. You didn't need to get close to or touch him; you just had him within your field of vision. You wiggled your fingers slightly.

You saw how Steve tensed up; you smiled; it had worked; and the best thing was that no one would suspect you. Now that you had infiltrated Steve's mind and were going to sow discord within the Avengers.

It took less than a week to hear the rumors. Now that the Avengers seemed to be against Steve, or maybe it was the other way around, the time had come for him to finally go with you.

That night you showed up at a park near the Avengers base; you didn't even have to wait long for Steve to show up; there was no need to exchange words; you simply raised your hand and he took it; they started walking; you always got what you wanted.