#compassion she brings to such a minor character.

[deluxdollie]

S to F— a tier list of how healthy a relationship would be with these different BSD characters

Content warning: mentions of toxic relationship, manipulation, death, minor Spoilers (akutagwas part but there’s a warning) etc… this is also not edited at all.

Characters: Atsushi, odasaku, Tetchō, Fukuzawa, Kunikida, Yasano, Ranpo, Gin, Chuuya, Higuchi, Edger Allen Poe, Sigma, Dazai, Akutagawa, Tachihara, Ango, Jouno, Mori, Fyodor, Nikolai.

A/N sorry if theres any writing mistakes in this, I wrote this for eight hours straight with an ear infection and like four hours of sleep, so if there’s a spelling error please tell me.

S tier:

Atsushi(he’s shown to be very nice, always helping others, and in that one scene he bought a bunch of stuff for for koyaka to make her happy even though he didn’t have much money, he also help everyone without thinking and saves everyone despite their past EX: Koyaka)

Oda(Oda is shown to be a very kind person, who’s extremely kind Ex helping taking care of Dazai and watching over him, while having a strong moral compass, not wanting to kill anyone while having normal goals like wanting to be an author/wanting to wright, he also shows a lot of love for others, such as trusting Ango and jumping out a window and being completely ready to save the kids he was taking care of while before that making regular visit to them, probably one of the most normal people in the entire series. I don’t believe there would be many issues with him other than the fact he is dead. You could probably have a very healthy relationship with Oda.)

Tetchō(Tetchō is shown to have a lot of empathy and loyalty, such as when he stops Jouno from antagonizing Aya and when he fights Kenji so he can find Jouno to make sure he is alright. I honestly believe that Tetchō is probably one of the most normal characters in this series as of now. Of course there are the normal issues that I will be bringing up again and again such as you probably won’t be able to see him much etc etc, but relatively normal in my opinion. )

A tier:

Fukuzawa(Fukuzawa is shown to be someone that helps others and gives them a chance no matter what EX Ranpo and Yasano, But he is also a work alcoholic Ex that one scene that fukuchi said that Fukuzawa was still married to his work. It really depends on when you would start dating Fukuzawa but if it was earlier in life I believe he most likely would have broken up with you for his work(and also for you safety) but I think he would be on of the healthier options out of BSD cast)

Kunikida(other than Kunikidas long list of things he wants from his ideal women, I believe he would be a healthy partner. Kunikida is shown to on Multiple occasions to save multiple kids and risk his life, he also canonically makes sure to take care of Dazai and his other friends EX Katai. I honestly believe he would be a very caring person to date as long as you like a lot of plans and schedules.)

Yasano(I believe Yasano would be a very kind and caring person to date, though I believe she would be a bit of a handful at times, you would probably have to carry her bags around but I believe she would do anything to save you in a time of need, Yasano is shown to not be afraid to stand up to others EX that one scene where that one businessman was picking on her, asking if she what her job was and she said she was a doctor and she was about to break that man’s hands. Yasano is also shown to care of others she is close to EX that one scene where Ranpo and herself are in one of Poe’s books and she gives him her glasses to give him the motivation to solve the case in the book. I believe Yasanos love be more quiet but she would still make sure to show it.)

Ranpo(I believe there are many misconceptions about Ranpo, a lot of people mistake Ranpo as some super cocky at everything character, but they forget that Ranpo is not ashamed to say that he doesn’t know how to do things alone EX ride the train even though Ranpo is an adult and he’s not afraid to admit he can’t go alone on the train or that he’s not fit to be the boss of the ADA, he is only cocky in the means of his detective work, because he KNOWS he’s good, he’s not being cocky, he’s stating a fact, because Ranpo IS better than everyone else when it comes to him deducing things. Though Ranpo does have a blunt and sometimes arrogant attitude he can admit his short comings, like admiring that he couldn’t figure out one of the cases he was doing, or when he was 14 he admitted that he didn’t understand others. I think he would be interesting to date but he could be slightly overwhelming at times because he may sort of lazy, but I believe he would respect anyone he was dating like he respects Fukuzawa or Yasano.)

Gin(probably out of the two Akutagawa siblings, the least affected by their trauma. There isn’t much about Gin that is known to the anime and I Haven’t watched the BSD wan in a while, but Gin Is a very kind person and you can see in I think the fourth or fifth season she protects everyone from herself when she lost control of her knife. over all when she is seen with akutagawa in that one scene (and including the episode where Higuchi is chasing after Gin) she seems to be overall quiet and respectful.)

B tier:

Chūya(Chūya is kinda of a mixed bag, on one hand, he is a red flag (I swear to god if I see one of those jokes where it like “Chūya doesn’t have any flags, I’m going to find your house and beat you, I’m so sick of that joke, I see it in every comment section talking about Chūya, can we please get a knew joke BSD fandom, all the jokes we have are dead.) people often say Chūya is a red flag since he is in the mafia, which is Valid, which is why I have him so low, other than the fact that he is the mafia I believe Chūya would be in A tier maybe even S tier but I may be a little biased , but, excluding the fact Chūya is in the mafia, Chūya is probably one of the most loyal characters in the ENTIRE series, since it was exclusively said in Stormbringer that “Master Chūya is the kind of person who will never abandon those who have helped him, even if they end up betraying. That is simply who he is.” Chūya is the kind of person to keep a promise no matter what, Chūya is also said to be respectful to women, and from what we see from the show he is respectful to everyone but Dazai but Dazai purposely makes Chūya upset, so I don’t hold Chūya to blame. I see Chūya as a loyal and kind partner, and who would be pleasant to date if it weren’t for the fact that he was in the Port Mafia, so you would have to be in the mafia you to if you wanted the relationship to work. I do also see people say Chūya would be violent because Chūya is often shown to be angry, but, when Chūya is shown to be angry it’s usually for a valid reason, such as Dazai insulting him, or for him to be put in a life or death situation, such as in Dead Apple, which most people would also do, since there is a risk for so many people dying or being around people that purposely try to make you angry. So I think Chūya is that bad to date if your ignore all the crimes, but everyone ignores Dazais crimes, so I think they can do the same for Chūya.

Higuchi(We haven’t seen to much of Higuchi in BSD, though I would like to, and it is a shame that we haven’t, from what I have scene in the anime, manga, and BSD Wan, I think Higuchi is somewhere in the B to C tier, though love her. The reason I place Higuchi so low is because of her intense jealousy around Akutagawa, someone she is not dating. It is seen In the first season that when she sees a women with Akutagawa (it was Gin, which she did not know at the time,) she gets extremely jealous, going as fare as to stalk the two of them and chase after Gin, which is very possessive. The loyalty of Higuchi is also seen in the first season when she does everything to for Akutagawa with zero regret and brushing it off as it just being her job. Higuchi would probably be a very loving and nice girlfriend to be with but a very possessive and jealous one, which isn’t the worst thing to be on this list, considering some of the other BSD characters. While researching this list, I remember how funny Higuchi can be, while partnering up with Atsushi to find how who the women Akutagawa is with she was very witty and she really funny to watch, along as in the wan she was also pretty funny.

Edger Allen Poe(Poe is a decent person, he is shown to be kind, ambitious, and smart, though he clearly thinks of himself less than Ranpo. Poe is a shy person which is shown clearly through out the anime and manga. Poe is arguably a red flag since he did try to kill Ranpo, but he does show some concern if Ranpo does die, so over all I think Poe’s fine except his a little off his rockers sometimes, but who’s not anyway. I believe Poe’s one of the characters that could date someone outside of his own job, but he is pretty shy, so I think you would have to be introduced to him in order for anything romantic to happen.

Sigma(I honestly think Sigma would be okay, but the main issues would be his A, his inexperience with life, I think he would be very stressed because he only has the memories of the past three years of his life and he really wouldn’t know what to do, and B, he is part of a criminal organization, which considering this list is pretty normal, since it’s seems everyone in Bsd has at some point committed at least one minor war crime or killed at least one person. The main issue with Sigma being in a criminal organization is that Fyodor is there and if Fyodor knows about you you’re already dead and will probably be used to manipulate Sigma. Overall, Sigma as a person, though inexperienced would be an okay partner, but because of Fyodor dating him could be extremely risky for the both of you, so for the better, it would be better to have a unspoken close relationship that would only work if you worked closely to Sigma, but this would still inevitably be found out by Fyodor.)

C tier:

Dazai(I’m pretty sure this is a hot take, but, dating Dazai would not be that great, but before Dazai Stans come for me let me explain: Asagiri (the author of BSD) said that in what ever relationship Dazai was in he would manipulate them, so it is canon that he would be a little toxic, but looking at his other friendships, you can kinda see how he acts, he’s a womenizer, flirting with pretty much anyone he sees and offering them a double suicide, he also doesn’t let anyone in on his past or his secrets and is overall distant. I believe Dazai would manipulate his partner so they don’t figure out about his past, and if they somehow do, I believe he would always keep them at arms length and you would have to be someone like Fyodor in order to figure him out and make him actually exspress himself, and I think if you could figure him out one of you would leave (because you deserve better) or Dazai feels threaded and he would find a way to manipulate you into breaking up the relationship for him or he would just disappear. But I don’t want that to discredit the fact that Dazai can be a a nice person, but everything nice about him has an equal and opposite amount of evil, which is the issue about Dazai, you would have to be able to tear him apart so you could get close to him, but he would always try to keep you away or you would have to be stupid enough to date him and think he truly loves you. I honestly think you would have to take up a caretaker role for Dazai and you wold have to have known him since his Port Mafia days and be able to corner him and dissect his character for him to let you be close with him, overall, toxic relationship.)

Akutagawa(canonically, I think Akutagawa would be hard to date, Akutagawa has been shown in the past to be violent and cold to others, at one point even hitting Haguchi in the first season, though. I believe Akutagawa has had character development since then, and has started to become kinder, I still believe Akutagawa has a lot of healing to do before he can ever have a healthy relationship with others. I do want to mention the fact that Akutagawa does have a heart, he did say he was happy for Koyoka, and MANGA SPOILERS he was assigned to take care of Aya after Bram died, so I believe we could see him heal more in the future of the show. MANGA SPOILERS DONE we have seen Akutagawa be able to work with others more, and better, so I do believe he will rise the ranks of this tier list soon.)

Tachihara(Tachihara is a pretty nice person that looked up to by some from what I have seen in the anime and manga, though he doesn’t have much screen time, but from I have seen, he’s a really troubled person who is emotionally driven, he spends most of his life trying to get revenge against Yasano, and he often argues with Gin, though him arguing with others and acting all hard could have been part of the ruse he had been doing when he was a spy for the hunting dogs. Tachihara is a kind person though he has a lot of internal conflict, with the constant internal battle of if he was a hunting dog or a port mafia agent, though when does choose a side, he sticks to it. I believe Tachihara would be someone who would have trouble starting a romantic relationship do to his job, but the same goes for every port mafia agent of hunting dogs member. I believe Tachihara would be a protective partner, I believe this since you can see that Tachihara has dedicated his life to someone he loves dearly (his dead brother) that he would do the same for someone he truly loves.)

D tier:

Ango(I hate putting Ango here because I love him so much, but I’m not putting him here because I don’t like him, I’m putting him for other reason I will explain. I am putting Ango so low because of his job, I love Ango, as he is my favorite character in the entire show, but because of his job he often betrays people, and I believe he may carry a lot of guilt and shame for what he has done, which I believe is shown when he helps Dazai out of the port mafia, by erasing all his crimes. From what I can see Ango is a hard working government official who does care about others deeply and he struggles to not grow attached to people on his undercover missions Ex Dazai and Odasaku. I believe with Angos constant betrayals he would have many people after him and dating someone would only add more stress to him, and if someone he loved died again I believe he would never forgive himself and he would try to make up for what he did like he does Dazai. Like most of the other characters in this list I believe you would have to work with Ango in the government in order to have any relationship with him, since in any other circumstance he would most likely betray you. I don’t mean to display Ango as only a traitor, since he’s not, you can see he is an actually kind and caring man, but he is often put in the position to make hard decisions, though when he helps Atsushi and Koyaka escape in season 4/5 you can see him choose the side that he knows is innocent and to work for his own personal motivations instead of a company’s.

Jouno(in the show Jouno is shown to be pretty sadistic, though he doesn’t join Fukuchi when he offer Jouno to help him, and instead chooses to help others, though he does torment Aya. So I do believe that Jouno is a good person but if you had to date him I’d say it would be difficult, especially with his job most likely keeping away from you for long if you don’t work with him, so I would say another character where you would have to work with him if you wanted to spend any time with him.)

(We’re skipping E tier because everyone that’s going into F tier doesn’t deserve to be put at a higher letter like E. It also messes with my my color coordination system so I’m sorry if you love the letter E and I didn’t mention it.)

F tier:

Mori(the only way you meet this man is if he found you in the hospital nursery, no other words, the only reason people like him is because Bones(the studio that animates BSD currently) gives him pretty privileges instead of Fyodor, though for the three people that actually find his character cool because of his past are chill, but still, Mori isn’t some hot mafia boss, he’s legit a manipulative pedophile, the only reason Mori is ever good is if he can be used for the plot.)

Fyodor(Fyodor may have a nice voice and he may be attractive but don’t let that distract you, that man will kill you. He will ruin your life and make you depend on him (I’m taking that from the fact that during the prison arc he told Dazai to do that.) Fyodor would most likely use you for everything you were worth or keep you around because he’s fractionated by you, in the best case you are as smart as Fyodor so you can entertain him, any other way your probably going to get killed petty quickly by him since for most people he doesn’t show much care or interest in except for Dazai since Dazai entertains him, and and any other person he just uses Ex Nikolai or sigma.)

Nikolai(Nikolai would most likely have an unhealthily obsession with you and then kill you, in the show it states that he wants to kill things he loves because he wants them to be free. I would say Nikolai has a good heart but he also is Insane, he’s done some of the most graphic kills in the show, but he does show sadness when he think Fyodor died, so he has some empathy but if you were to date him your gonna have a nice knew head piecing with a 15 caliber built in your skull.)

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(PS: don’t let this discourage you from reading/writing fanfics about characters, I’m not doing this to hate I’m just showing what I think it would be like in cannon, but in fanfiction I think it’s fine to change things about character (EX making Dazai not manipulate reader) to show how much the character loves reader. This isn’t serious by any means or meant to hate on your favs, again, please don’t send me death threats<3.)

[mammalsofaction]

I liked CATU, the songs are banger and there are a lot of sweet moments. That being said its not perfect, and I wasn't a fan of Isabella's and Doof's dynamic in the movie, being a disservice to both Isabella as a kid and Doof's character arc through the 4 seasons.

That being said, a lot of his actions and decisions while leading the kids through Feebla-Oot is like....correct, actually? Particularly for the song "Adulting"

The dynamic tone between Isa and Heinz throughout the whole movie was just them being condescending to each other. Which I guess makes sense, knowing them both--Isa hates to be belittled, especially by an adult figure she doesn't respect, and Heinz's general first instinct around children was to act as an overbearing overprotective father. Combined with the fact that this child was refusing to listen to him, groping around the spaceship and inventions HE created, and insists on looking down at him, he's going to act condescending right back. It backfires a lot, naturally, what doesn't, around Heinz?

I would like to repeat that while I can sort of wrap my head around it, I didn't like the way it portrayed Heinz as more childish and immature and again, not doing justice to the audience's perception of him through the 4 seasons. I didn't like how they were treating each other.

Condescending was the running tone in the back and forth of the song Adulting as well, which was what made it funny, frustrating and baffling to me. The joke is that...he's RIGHT. It sounds made up, but adulting is a real thing, a statement that can and WILL be validated by any adult who has ever lived independently. They WILL get it when they turn 18. The kids don't get it...because they're KIDS.

I think they assume he's pretending like it was to sound authoritative, sure, maybe. But he's still right. It's not about collected soft and hard skills, it's not about knowing how to read a compass or how to do your taxes or how to fight a bear or to buying a car. Adulting is about sucking it up and taking responsibility for yourself. It's ABOUT the flailing around and learning how to do what as you go, it's about crying and doing it anyway. It's about the mind numbingly, outrageously boring stuff, and it's about the minor milestones that scares people half to death.

Heinz is 48. He's been married, and divorced; He's had a kid. He's bought houses, cars, started and failed multiple businesses. Mind you, Heinz came to America as an illegal immigrant at age 16 with just the clothes on his back, nothing to his name and disowned by his parents. He, probably better than most people, know how it's like to take responsibility for himself somewhere completely foreign, entirely hostile, and with almost no backup or life support.

He wasn't lying. He's right. He could've been less condescending about it, but yeah. It IS about aching knees and keeping perfect medical records, bringing fungal cream everywhere. It IS being lost and asking around, putting up with fucking it up. It's about getting hurt so the people you're in charge of stay safe and healthy and keeping your kids entertained and fed. It's about having to take charge. It made him look incompetent, but I VASTLY preferred that the near 50 yr old man told Isabella off for trying to take charge of the team in a foreign jungle planet actually. Knowing Heinz, there was no way in HELL he would've let her think she was responsible if something happened (and many things did happen), and he was right to.

Isabella is going to hate it SO much when she turns 18 and finds out he was right, btw. Adulting IS a real word.

[thelaurenshippen]

re: that *chef kiss* PERFECT Franken-Drummer post and tumblr not being all over The Expanse, I know right?? it’s such an amazing show with so many delightful, complicated characters yet it’s so unfairly slept on! maybe because S1 takes awhile to get going and ppl give up? idk but it makes me sad that I have so few ppl to squeal about Drummer and Amos and Bobbie and Christjen and Ashford and Naomi (ad infinitum) with 😭🚀😭

WHY ARE PEOPLE NOT OBSESSED WITH THE EXPANSE HELLO!?!?! there's literally so much to love about it oh my god. you're right, it DOES take a second to get going but once it does!!!

for those of you who have not read or seen The Expanse series (I myself have yet to read the books), let me tell you why you'll love it:

political space drama with incredibly distinct cultures and phenomenal world building, if you're a details girlie (gn), you're gonna go nuts

the found family vibes!!??! are off!?!? the charts!?!? (minor spoilers for the first few episodes) four people are thrown into a situation in which they accidentally become the most important people/fugitives in the whole galaxy and most of them DO NOT trust each other, what could possible go wrong, and even better, what could possibly go RIGHT

Christjen Avasarala. you are not ready for her. most powerful mover-shaker on earth with the most incredible outfits you've ever seen, refined elegance with the filthiest mouth, plus she's got a classic "whatever those two have going on is so gay it veers into something else entirely" with her younger protective knight lady, Bobbie

Bobbie. the "not to be a lesbian but oh my god" post is made for her. we meet her in the show for the first time when she arm wrestles a robot and WINS. you will be begging for her to step on you with her mech suit

speaking of women I want to step on me Camina Drummer. angry revolutionary pirate queen of my heart. do you miss the unique agony of 2000/10s queerbaiting but want it to be not baiting somehow? this show does that, idk how else to explain it. the most agonizing sapphic pining you've ever seen but it's textual and also not painful because its gay. don't worry, Camina fucks, just not the girl she wants most (also spoilers, but this is not a bury your gays show don't worry)

Jim Holden is literally just Some Guy who becomes the special fantasy chosen one because he simply cannot stop Getting Involved. nosiest bitch in the universe, I love him.

imagine you're a girl who leaves your shitty ex and gets a normal industrial job on a spaceship, only to have a six foot, two hundred pound killer dressed as a mechanic imprint on you like a baby duck, and its unclear whether he wants to fuck you or call you a little sister but he definitely WILL kill for you and will do literally anything you say and then you both end up caught up in a weird galactic war by mistake and there's this other guy with a captain america level moral compass and he's cute and you're into him except your shitty ex is still out there with the biggest secret you have and meanwhile your best female friend is the coolest person you've ever met but you don't think you can be what she needs and you're holding your family together, you're holding the universe together and all you want is justice for your people but unfortunately you've gone and fallen in love with the accidental most important man in the galaxy. well, every day Naomi Nagata wakes up

Praxideke Meng. botanist of my heart. literally tames the rabid guard dog that no one else could. gentle and able to stay gentle because of said dog. which brings me to...

Amos Burton. I saved him for last because he is my guy. he is THAT guy. canonically aromantic pansexual king. are you into guard dog characters? do you find yourself drawn to the "sorry my love language is acts of service and all I'm good at is killing people" characters? amos burton is like seventeen tumblr posts come to life. previously mentioned enormous killer dressed as a mechanic, former heels wearing "I didn't always work in space" sex worker who is always rolling into brothels and being like "you guys unionized?", gives a shit about basically no one in the universe except his crew and every single child in the galaxy, accidental comedian because he cannot stop saying weird shit, not a nice or good person but a loyal one, and one who is always trying to relearn the empathy that was carved out of him as a young person. every time he goes homicidal to protect one of his chosen people (crew + any and every child), an angel gets its wings.

fin.

[meeblo]

@stalkiwi so, Muelsyse. This is just going to be extrapolations off of Mansfield Break, Dorothy's Vision, and the manhua. I think Mumu also appears in a vignette event or is hinted to, but I haven't read that one so I won't bring it up. No lone trail spoilers.

In 7-10, it's revealed that Elves are heavily discriminated against.

The Aegis of the Infected. The Yeti Squad was one of its subsets, and its members did not solely consist of Infected. The exiles, the fanatics, the maimed, Elves, Durin, and Sarkaz. The guerrillas did not fight for the Infected alone.

While the Durin can become recluses in their advanced underground cities, Elves have nowhere to go. We haven't seen any Elves besides Muelsyse. It's possible they have mostly died off as a result of this persecution. It's important to Muelsyse's character to recognize that she is a member of a persecuted minority, a minority that may have already been mostly killed off.

Mansfield Break introduces Muelsyse at what is in my opinion her lowest point. Saria is no longer at Rhine Lab, Ferdinand is swallowing up Energy and coming for Originium Arts next, Parvis is Parvis, and Muelsyse is entirely alone with no one to plead to but the negligent and indifferent Kirsten. Muelsyse's actions and plans regarding Anthony show just how bad things have become for her. She's so deep in the cuthroat game of Rhine's internal politics she's trying to adapt to Ferdinand and Parvis' tactics, but she isn't Ferdinand or Parvis. She can't manipulate people like Parvis or crush rivals like Ferdinand; her plan with Anthony is solely preventative. Gain custody of Anthony, Ferdinand can't get Simon Co and Muelsyse now has at least one bargaining chip... but what next? What does she do from there? It doesn't advance the situation, merely prevent things from becoming even worse for Muelsyse. It also reflects Muelsyse's increasing desperation that she's willing to think of Anthony as an asset and refer to Ifrit simply as the test subject in Mansfield Break. She's so deep into self-preserving fight or flight that her empathy is being pushed down. But this isn't working for her; she's still losing ground, her plan in Mansfield Break failed spectacularly when Saria freed Anthony rather than giving him over to Muelsyse, and pushing down her compassion is just paining her. Something has to change.

In the Rhine Lab manhua, we see Muelsyse before things at Rhine start to fall apart for her. She's working as an informant for Kirsten, but she's able to set that aside for what she actually believes in. Parvis is still Parvis, but Ferdinand hasn't amassed nearly as much power yet. After Saria and Muelsyse find the tape from Haydn Pharmaceuticals with the horrible things they put Ifrit through that lead to the explosion, Muelsyse closes the laptop solemnly and begins truly helping Saria rather than merely monitoring her. Throughout the Rhine manhua, we can see Muelsyse's compassion towards Ifrit. She has ulterior motives in visiting Ifrit to get some information, but we can see that Muelsyse cares about Ifrit, and continues to visit even after it's clear they won't get any info about Haydn from Ifrit. Ifrit isn't solely "the test subject" to Muelsyse, lil' Iffy is someone that Muelsyse wants to help save. Going against the cover up and continuing to dig places her in danger she could have otherwise avoided, but she continues anyway with Saria. Saria's presence at Rhine is crucial for Muelsyse to feel safe in taking risks for what she believes in. Saria is the backbone of integrity at Rhine and without her there are no checks in place on monsters like Parvis and Ferdinand. Even overwhelmed and weakening in influence, Saria's iron will provides a safety net for Muelsyse. It's implied in the Tin Man scenes that Muelsyse is the one leaking info from Rhine Lab (something Dorothy's Vision's opening scene confirms), an action very much in conflict with Muelsyse being Kirsten's informant. There is a clear struggle between Muelsyse doing what she believes is right, and Muelsyse doing what she believes she has to in order to survive among vipers like Parvis and Ferdinand. Muelsyse is so deeply trapped in the politics of Rhine Lab that she has no way out. There's a scene in the Manhua where she says something about having a good resume if things ever go south, but Saria calls that out. Muelsyse's resume means nothing in the face of the power Rhine has over its industry in Columbia. Saria can walk away because she's the only person Kirsten respects and because Saria has a will of steel, but no one else can escape Rhine Lab; Silence goes to Rhodes Island leading the partnership with Rhine, Mayer goes over as part of this partnership to escape Ferdinand's control over Engineering, etc. Rhine Lab has created a closed system in the Columbian scientific community where the only way out is to another Rhine affiliated company or one of Rhine's many puppet shell companies like HydeBro, Loken Watertank, and Haydn Laboratories. Muelsyse has nowhere to go, but she recognizes that she's clearly in danger, so she is forced to hedge her bets and lean on both Saria and Kirsten for aid.

Dorothy's Vision shows Muelsyse beginning to change after her loss in Mansfield Break. Playing the game failed, utterly, so she's more openly doing what she believes in. If she can't win anyway, she might as well do as much as she can even if it makes her even more vulnerable, so she leaks even more documents. This catches the attention at last of the Columbian military, and leads to Ho'olheyak stuffing her into a mechsuit. Crucially in the opening scene of Dorothy's Vision, we see Muelsyse attempt to call Kirsten for aid. Kirsten doesn't pick up, because Kirsten doesn't give a shit about anyone except Saria. The implication here is clear, in my opinion: Muelsyse was never Kirsten's informant because she was given the task by Kirsten; Muelsyse was Kirsten's informant because she was desperately attempting to make herself useful to Kirsten so that she could have any sense of security that Control might protect her from Ferdinand, Parvis, or the military. These frankly tragic lines as Muelsyse is stuffed into the mech shed new light onto her character:

Cold hard steel clamps down on the limbs, preventing any attempt at movement, never mind resistance. If only tears would flow from the eyes. Mother always said tears were powerful weapons. But the eyes are not cooperating. They have seen too many mountains fall and too many rivers dry up over the centuries. They have seen too many loved ones die. They have become dry, like the land after a nomadic city has passed through.

Muelsyse is old. She has seen so much conflict, death, and tragedy. She has lost too many loved ones, and been placed into mortal danger many times herself for being an Elf. Despite being a compassionate person who wants to do what she believes is moral, Muelsyse is burdened with the weight of centuries of loss and the fear of losing even more. She tries to steel herself to this loss, to stop empathizing, to survive, but it just digs her deeper. She attempts to hide her identity as an elf, does her moral actions like leaking info and comforting Ifrit in anonymity and secrecy, so that on the surface she can appear a crafty and formidable force in Rhine Lab's internal politics, but it doesn't fool anyone. In Dorothy's Vision, she tries to let go and do more of what she thinks is right, and at first all it seems to get her is days on end of suffering. But the latter half of Dorothy's Vision begins to prove her wrong; Doctor and Saria begin to prove her wrong. Their actions are succeeding against Ferdinand and the military, they are able to walk straight in to Rhine, they are able to place themselves into danger to make the change that needs to be made and walk back out unscathed and successful. Whereas Muelsyse always hedged her bets and tried to walk the line between Rhine Lab loyalty and pushing against corruption, Saria and Doctor have no such reservations. Muelsyse is shown that stepping with full confidence towards a cause you believe in can work, and is shown that her own leaked information is making an impact.

I haven't had any Lone Trail spoilers, but I have listened to Muelsyse's song, Morning Dew. I could discuss the lyrics at length but here's some verses I find especially important. I'll put it under a cut if you haven't heard the song and don't want it spoiled.

Overall, Muelsyse is one of the most interesting characters of the Rhine Lab storyline to me. She is a silly elf, that's right, but there's so much depth to her. She's a kind person, a silly person, and yet she also makes an active effort to try and be both of those things in spite of the loss and sadness she's witnessed. I feel that it's less of a coping mechanism, and more of an ideal she wants to be. Muelsyse is fun and silly in spite of what she's been through, not to cover up what she's been through.

Don't let the loneliness stop you from being kind. Don't let them say that your peace is a waste of time. Don't let them crush all your dreams, then change their mind

This first verse reflects the trajectory of Muelsyse's character arc after Dorothy's Vision, and her compassionate nature. She's no longer going to let others disparaging her efforts or outright opposing them get in her way of what she thinks is right.

This room was built for one chair only. I'm not empty, I'm just lonely, tied to the ghost of you. I can be gentle too.

The first two lines here reflect Muelsyse's loneliness as one of very few elves and her isolation at Rhine Lab. She's not empty like Parvis and Ferdinand are, corrupt to the core; she's just alone and desperate. I'm not sure who "the ghost of you" is here, I assume Lone Trail will make it more clear, but I have a few guesses. It could be Kirsten, Muelsyse joined Rhine Lab because of the kind of person Kirsten used to be and is now trapped tied to the ghost of Kirsten attempting to appeal to her for safety against the other sector directors. It could be Saria, that Muelsyse is tied to the lingering influence of Saria that remains at Rhine Lab after her departure. It could be Muelsyse's presumably dead mother we don't really know anything about mentioned in that Dorothy's Vision text.

Oh-ooh... letting me go isn't the only answer. Oh-ooh... letting me go makes the world spin faster. "No one like me" doesn't mean you won't like me. Oh-ooh... I'll let you go, it's a pattern on repeat.

The chorus, reflecting the amount of times people have left Muelsyse behind. Saria leaving Rhine is the obvious one that sticks out, but it's clear that this is a pattern that keeps happening to Muelsyse, and the "No one like me" implies that some of these people leaving did it for racist reasons because Muelsyse was an elf. Muelsyse attempts to make connections, but inevitably she has to let them go as they leave her behind.

Don't let utopia haunt you, there's more to save. Don't stop the search for the perfect, you're smart and brave. Don't let them sail off in anger, just smile and wave.

The next verse continues to reflect Muelsyse's compassion and desire to save people, in spite of being faced with opposition preventing utopia from being possible. "Don't stop the search for the perfect", even while perfection is impossible it's still worth striving for. The last two lines show Muelsyse's acceptance of all the people leaving her life. She's resolved to smile as they go, rather than be angry at it.

The ship takes off, now I'm the captain. Gentle breeze, I'll make it happen. I'm gonna lock the doors, no one allowed on board. I won't choose, I'm not ungrateful; making peace to quell the hateful. Look at the mess you made. I whisper as you fade.

This last verse before the song ends with the chorus again I hope shows where her character arc goes in Lone Trail. Muelsyse is finally taking control of her own life and becoming the captain of her own ship, no longer having Kirsten fill that role. "Look at the mess you made" probably refers to the mess that is Rhine Lab under Kirsten's willful negligence, who is now fading into the distance as Muelsyse is able to finally sail off and escape.

[starry-eyes-love]

Chapter 2: Blood & Pain

Masterlist

Pairing: Joel x F!Reader (18+, Minors DNI)

Summary | Joel, Ellie and you are traveling in the wilderness together heading towards Jackson. During your travels both Joel and you get into a heated argument where you storm off into the wilderness alone. When darkness descends Joel goes searching for you, eventually he finds you and breaks down in front of you. You find yourself growing a lot as a person through the hard trials of Life through Blood and Pain, a few surprises pop up along the way (one of which Joel suspects), and ultimately you find compassion and comfort in the decisions that you starting to make with this big broody older man. The chapter ends with a few unresolved issues, as the story will continue in future chapters.

Warnings | Angst, language, names used (honey, baby), age gap, verbal teasing, pregnancy (implied), miscarriage (implied), yelling, arguments, reference to abuse (slight if you squint), reference to sex in the past, reference to mental and physical exhaustion. I think that’s it

Word Count: 5.1 K

Author’s Note:  This was a little harder to write as I’m trying to set up the characters into the line for how the story is going to go.  I know this didn’t have as much action in it, mostly frustration between the characters but I wanted to show you the problems that these two have.  Both of them love the other but just can’t seem to get passed the whole communication problem. Ellie, sweet tell-it-to-you-no-filter Ellie, will be helping these two more in the future getting their feelings out. Now that they found a cabin they are going to be staying for a while. More parts are coming out in the future as we take these 3 amazing characters through a story of learning to live together (and eventually they’ll find Tommy too).  Stay tuned for more :) 

It had been about three weeks since you and Joel had sex on the ground in a sleeping bag for the first time.  Since then, Joel has been a bit grumpy, moody, and constantly correcting you with things. He no longer treated you like you were less than human, or that you were a plague that walked this Earth. However, he was just a bit more moody than usual. He still didn’t want to talk about what had happened between the two of you, that much was for certain. You learned within the first week that you were never going to talk about what happened with him, or at least not right away because as he put it “we ain’t gonna fucking talk about it, so fucking leave it” was always his response no matter what you tried to say.  So you left it alone as you didn’t want to bring out the worst in him again.

Each day the three of you would trek closer to Jackson in an attempt to find Tommy, Joel's brother. Ellie had finally eased up a bit on Joel about catching the two of you in a sleeping bag humping, if only she knew what happened after that you thought, but you could never say it out loud. You noticed that the banter between Ellie and Joel was easier, more joking and fun, and you could see how much Joel cared for her as a daughter. You also noticed how much Ellie started to look at Joel like a father figure. 

One night when the three of you were collecting firewood, Joel was moving slow as his back was sore and he was tired. Ellie decided to really lay it on thick with the jokes and said with a smirk on her face "So pops, how does one your age still keep up and stay alive. I mean you’re old?” As he stood there glaring at her he eventually let out a huff and shook his head and said "look here little girl, one day you're gonna be my age and then you'll see."

"And how old is that Joel, huh?" Ellie teased while helping Joel with the firewood. When he didn't answer her right away you decided to chime in and say "he's 52" while setting your logs down next to Joels. Ellie looked at you shocked that you knew his age and Joel just scowled at you.  “52? Like that’s like ancient. Joel you’re older than dinosaurs, right?” Ellie quipped with a cocky smirk on her face. Joel just stared at Ellie and started grinding his teeth slowly, you knew his age was a sensitive subject for him, though you never really knew why. Feeling a bit frisky at wanting to be included in the conversation for once, you chimed in “Ellie you’re technically not wrong. Some dinosaurs lived to be over 50 and some were long dead before 50. So yes, he’s definitely in the dinosaur category.” 

As soon as you finished your statement you heard silence.  You looked over at Ellie and she had her mouth wide open just staring at you. She occasionally glanced over to Joel who was also just glaring at you from your statement. Finally after a moment, Ellie burst out laughing and eventually both you and Joel burst out laughing too.  Pretty soon all three of you were crying because you were laughing so hard. It was the first real laugh that you three had like this in a long time, and damn it felt good, especially when Joel was laughing with you. After a moment, Joel was the first person to speak wiping his eyes while saying “look here smartass, I’m not 52, I’m 53. My birthday was a few weeks ago.” You were going to ask Joel when, but Ellie beat you to it by saying “53, the dinosaur turned 53 and didn’t tell us, what the hell Joel?” 

“Didn’t want to make a fuss, it’s just another day and another year older” Joel said. Ellie then started arguing with Joel about not telling you guys about his birthday and the importance of birthdays when you heard him yell at her “my birthday ain’t something special kid, ok. It just means that I’m a year older in this god for saken world. But if ya wanna know, it was the night it was bitterly cold. So happy fucking birthday to me” and then he stormed off. 

You stood there frozen as your mind raced from remembering that night of his birthday, the night you and Joel ended up having sex for the first time. “I don’t hate you, never have…If ya still want to leave, I’ll let you… Fuck baby, you’re so god damn tight. God, I need this…I’m not stopping baby, I don’t fucking care who sees or hears us…we aren’t going to talk about it anymore, clear.” 

As your mind finished racing from that night you felt tears streaming down your cheeks silently. That night was Joel’s birthday, the night you wanted to leave because of Joel being an ass. You didn’t know why but you felt emotional about this fact. “God, I need this” statement he made that night kept playing over and over in your head. You thought he just needed sex that night, but what he needed was someone to show him that they wanted him on his birthday, show him that someone cared. “God you’re so stupid” you heard you tell yourself as you wiped the tears from your eyes.

“Yes you are” you heard Ellie say. As you looked up you saw her staring at you. She looked around for a moment before approaching you and saying “do you really think I didn’t know that you and Joel were having sex that night?” You tried to say “we weren’t” when she cut you off. 

“Don’t. I may be younger than you, but I’m not fucking stupid. I was hoping you two would finally give in to whatever the fuck has been going on between you two, but apparently Joel is more emotionally constipated than I thought.” Ellie said in a low voice shaking her head. You heard yourself give a little snort at her claiming that Joel was emotionally constipated because well, she was right. “It doesn’t matter Ellie” you heard yourself saying “he doesn’t, we don’t-” 

“Oh shut up,” Ellie said louder while rolling her eyes and pointing in the direction that Joel went. “You are just as emotionally constipated as he is. God, go talk to him and tell him.”

“Ellie” you said interrupting her. “He doesn’t want to talk about what happened he’s made it-”

“I know he doesn’t want to talk about it, but damn it, it was his birthday and he obviously needed you that night so fuck…I don’t know,  go and like say something to him or something” Ellie yelled at you frustrated. When you didn’t respond Ellie threw her hands up in the air and said out loud to herself storming away “apparently I got two emotionally constipated old idiots I have to travel with that act more like freaking children than me. Fuck.” 

As you stood there watching her walk away you heard a familiar voice behind you say “what’s her problem?” Without turning around and facing Joel you said “she’s mad at us and called us both emotionally constipated old idiots.” You heard him snort behind you while saying “why would she call us that?”  You turned around slowly and noticed that Joel was towering above you looking down and you both stood there within close proximity staring into each other’s eyes and you thought to yourself what in the hell is Joel Miller thinking.

As Joel stood there looking down at you he noticed that your eyes were bloodshot and your cheeks were rosey.  He knew the only time that happened was when you were crying, but he didn’t know why. He reached out and slowly rubbed soothing strokes down your cheek saying “why does she think we’re emotionally constipated idiots?”  He had a suspicion of why Ellie would say that, but he wanted you to say it first. He knew that Ellie had seen the two of you that night when you had sex. When you both were finished that night and he stood up to fix his belt back on his pants he happened to glance over to were Ellie was sleeping and saw that she was wide awake and staring at you two.  At first he was upset as he just realized that he had sex in front of a teenager, and the thought made him sick to his stomach as he knew better than that. Ellie had tried to approach him several times afterwards and each time he’d say ‘Ellie, it’s not your concern ok, mind your own damn business.’ She’d already called him emotionally constipated more than once regarding the topic, but he wanted to hear you say the reason just in case she hadn’t told you yet that she saw the two of you. 

After a few moments of staring up into Joel’s eyes you decided that he wasn’t going to move until you gave him an answer, and this was one answer you didn’t want to give him.  You tried to think of a convincing lie to say that didn’t involve admitting to him what Ellie said.  But you also knew that whatever it was that you were going to tell him he would go and talk to Ellie about it later, especially since he found you crying yet again. So you decided that the truth would be better in this situation. So you looked down, took a deep breath and said, “she saw us that night. The night we- um- the night of your birthday.”  When he didn’t respond right away you took another big breath and added “she saw us having sex Joel, and she told me we both were emotionally constipated, and that we both needed to talk about it.”

You honestly waited for the explosion, for the yelling or screaming to start from him, but it never came and you didn’t understand why.  Everytime you had even attempted to bring up this topic he’d always shut you down and yell at you stating that you two were never going to talk about it. So his silence bothered you as this wasn’t Joel. You dared to look up into his eyes at this point wondering if he was seething with anger or just shocked at what you had told him. When you glanced up in his eyes you didn’t see any anger or hatred or impending violent reaction, what you saw was compassion and softness.  Joel continued to stroke his finger over your cheek and said “I know. I know Ellie saw, I knew it when I was fixing my belt, I looked over and saw she was awake.”

Now it was your turn to freeze and become absolutely frigid, she saw and Joel knew. Why didn’t he say something you thought to yourself.  As if he could read your mind he said “I didn’t say anything cause I didn’t want to upset ya. Baby, I don’t want you thinking bad about what we did that night. I don’t want you regretting it.”  

Before you could stop yourself, you snapped at him and said “I don’t regret it, but obviously you do. You won’t even look at me, hold me, kiss me, or fuck- even talk to me about it. Hell, you’ve hardly spoken two words to me at all since that night. I don’t regret it, but obviously you do.”  When you looked up at him you felt him go rigid and then you saw the anger come back into his eyes as he looked at you not moving and not saying anything. You stood there thinking Ellie was right, he is emotionally constipated and I’m tired of it. So you did the one thing that you know not to do, you decided to poke the bear named Joel by further saying “I get it Joel, I was a pity fuck. I get it. You’ve made it perfectly clear to me that you regret everything and that you hate me."

When Joel didn't respond you turned to walk away. You knew he was seething with anger, you could tell it by the way he was grinding his teeth, a nervous tick he did when he was angry, upset, or in deep thought. When you shook your head and turned to walk away you didn't see him reach out to you. He grabbed you hard by the shoulders and spun you around and said in a stern voice "when the fuck you gonna get it through that thick head of yours that I don't fucking hate you, huh? And for the record, you ain't a pity fuck."

"Then when are we going to talk about it, huh?" you said with a little bite to your voice, as your anger was also slowly rising at his outburst at you.

"There's nothing to fucking talk about" he replied. 

Once again you stood there looking at the man you cared for glaring back at you with anger and you were exhausted and frustrated.  Joel never wanted to talk about feelings or emotions. He never wanted to acknowledge his love for Ellie as a father or what his feelings were for you, if he had any. You understood the whole dating role was not really present much in a world where survival was the focus. But you wanted to know what he viewed you as, if you meant something more to him than just a tag along person in the wilderness. You knew Joel wasn't going to define what your relationship was, but you wanted to know if kissing and sex would ever come about again. So with a sigh you asked him the question you've been avoiding. "Joel, are you ever gonna kiss me again or are we ever gonna have sex again?"

When he didn't answer you at first, you knew what his answer was, so you looked down and whispered "please Joel, I need you to say it out loud so I know."  You stood there in silence for a long time, trying to will your tears not to sting your eyes as you waited for an answer.  You honestly didn’t think he was going to give you one, but when he never left after a bit you decided to look up into his face.  When you looked up, you saw that he was looking down at you with a pained look on his face. “Please Joel, I-I just need to know what you think of me. If I was just- if you just wanted-” you couldn’t finish the sentence.  You couldn’t say I want to know if I was just a birthday fuck and nothing else.  You felt him stare at you as you attempted to say the words and when you couldn’t, you just looked down at your feet again and struggled with the tears that once again were about to fall.

After a moment, you heard Joel exhale and felt him tenderly grab your chin to tip your chin up to look at him once again. Then he very gently said "baby, nothing good ever comes from kissin' in this world. I'm-"

You didn't let Joel finish before you backed away and said "You're right. How silly of me to think a man actually cared about me. You’re no different than Dave, then man who said he loved me but attempted to kill me a few years before you. Silly me to think that I was ever good enough for anyone. I wasn't ever good enough at home before all of this shit happened in the world, wasn’t good enough for Dave, and now not good enough for you. Jesus, can I be any more stupid?” you said with a sarcastic laugh.

“Oh, and for the record Joel, this is the clear definition of what a pity fuck is. So happy fucking birthday right? I'm sorry I wasn't the present you clearly fucking wanted." And at the end of that sentence you felt the sob escape your mouth as you turned around and walked away. You stormed past Ellie and kept walking in the woods, you were so upset that you never thought to grab your gun or your pack. You needed to clear your head and think, and you couldn't do it with them nearby. So when you heard Ellie yell back asking where you were going, you didn't answer, you just kept walking. With each step you took you felt your heart shattered for the man you loved. You had your chance again to tell him, maybe you should have but if he didn't feel anything for you, why would you voice your silly little feelings to him. 

Darkness had descended and somewhere in your storming off in anger you got turned around and lost. Usually it didn't matter in the winter as you could always follow your footprints back, but sometime in the last hour your footprints had disappeared because of the wind. You couldn't walk back in a straight line because you knew you had not followed one. So you kept wandering and eventually you sat down next to a tree and closed your eyes to let the cold sting your face and dry the tears that were streaming down your face from anger and sadness combined.

Several hours had passed and Joel was very anxious of why you hadn’t returned.  Ellie and him had gotten into a hell of an argument of what had happened.  Joel at first attempted to brush it off saying that it wasn’t something of concern, but when Ellie called out his bullshit and stated that she had heard the conversation all he could do was look down.  He did care for you but he didn’t know how to express it.  Apparently the way he was going about it was wrong and he knew it. God, why am I so stupid? he thought to himself.  

When darkness hit his slight worried state turned into complete panic.  Darkness was not something where people should be defenseless in the world anymore, especially when they didn’t have their pack or their gun with them.  He frantically packed up a bag of medical supplies, bullets, food, and his knife and gun.  He told Ellie to stay by the campfire and to shoot anything that came at her that wasn’t the two of you. 

As Joel stormed into the wilderness. He had no idea where you went, what you were thinking, or what you felt.  He was searching for you for what felt like an eternity, trying to see where you went. Right before he was going to give up thinking that he could search better in the daylight he stumbled across you sitting with your back against a tree. He approached you slowly and called out to you. When you didn’t respond he felt his gut clench as he hoped that you weren’t injured or dead because of his stupidity. Finally, when he got up to you he knelt down and reached out to touch your leg as he gently called you by your name.  When you slowly opened your eyes and looked at him he grabbed you and held you close. 

You were so numb from the cold, and from the physical and mental exhaustion that you were limp in his arms.  As he cradled you against his chest you heard him let out a small sob as he said “baby I’m sorry, ok? You’re wrong. You ain’t a pity fuck. God damnit-I care about ya, you hear me? I c-care. I just don’t know how to do this. Please- please come back to me honey. Please don’t leave.”

As you heard and felt him cry into your shoulder you slowly started to wrap your arms tighter around him. In all of the years you have known Joel, you’ve never seen him get emotional like this. He sounded and felt like a man that was breaking and you really didn’t understand the reasons why. You didn’t want to give him another chance, but what could you do. You still loved him even though he hurt you. But you knew that you weren’t going to get the relationship that you wanted. So as you hugged him back and said “It’s okay Joel, I’ll stay” you knew you couldn’t lower your guard completely down again, not without him shattering you. So as you hugged him you forced your internal walls up around you in your mind. This is the last time Joel’s going to shatter me, you thought.

2 Weeks Later

It had been 2 weeks after you and Joel had your horrible argument where you stormed off and he found you sitting against the tree.  After you had held each other that night, he helped you up and helped to walk you back to camp.  That night Joel never slept much as he kept watch of you.  Ellie and you shared a sleeping bag that night, against Joel’s better judgement. He wanted to keep you warm but when he offered you, you just looked at him and had said one single word and that was “no.”

Since then you guys were trekking across the country moving closer to Jackson where Tommy supposedly was. After walking in the wilderness for the longest time you guys had stumbled upon an abandoned cabin in the wilderness.  After much discussion, mostly Joel yelling at you or Ellie in anger, you guys had decided to stop and make it a home for a week, just to rest and recoup.  You were on your period that was several weeks late and were having horrible menstrual cramps, something that was not normal for you. You were unable to walk at the fast pace that you normally did, which resulted in Joel and you arguing yet again. During one of your heated arguments about wanting to stay at the cabin and not able to keep up, you felt a horrible stabbing pain in your lower stomach and you doubled over holding your stomach in front of him.  

He had immediately stopped yelling at you and went to your side saying “baby, are you alright? Are you hurt?” while looking you over head to toe trying to find out where you were injured. He never called you baby, except during that one time during sex. You decided not to bring that up to him as you were in so much pain. Instead you told him you were ok and that you just needed to go lay down for a bit in the cabin. That night Joel slept next to you, holding you close to him while slowly rubbing circles on your hip and lower back as you cried out from the pain in your lower belly, specifically the uterine area.  

From time to time during the night you’d hear him say “Shhh baby, it’s okay.  I got you honey, slow deep breaths for me” as you silently sobbed into his chest from the pain. This was not normal for you to have such horrible menstrual cramps and to be as late as you were on your period. You hope Joel didn’t notice that you were really late with your period. As you laid there that night, having on and off horrible painful cramps, he tried to get you to settle down to sleep. Unfortunately sleep wasn’t something you could do while being in so much pain so that night the both of you didn’t get much sleep.  When you had finally dozed off, you maybe got about 2 hours of sleep when all of a sudden you were woken up to a searing pain in your belly.  It felt like someone was ripping your uterus apart from the inside out.  As your eyes opened you felt and heard Joel breathing slow and even behind you, as he had finally fallen asleep about a half hour after you had.  You slowly slipped out of the bed, trying not to wake him, as the pain kept increasing and your stomach decided to start churning in response to the pain.  You knew that it was only a matter of time before you would be heaving all the contents of your stomach out so you worked extra careful to get out of bed fast to get outside before you lost your stomach contents all over the floor.  You had thought you were graceful in climbing out of bed, but because you were so sick and in so much pain you hadn’t realized that when you slipped out of bed you hit Joel, which startled him awake.

By the time you got to the cabin front door you were practically running. As soon as you hit the outside banister railing you heaved your contents inside your stomach out onto the lawn. As you were retching you felt two strong and rough hands gently grab your hair to hold your hair back, as you continued to vomit. You also felt his one hand drift to your back and he slowly started rubbing it for you until you finished dry heaving.  Finally when you were finished you stood up and whispered “thanks” to him as you wiped your mouth off. After only getting a few hours of sleep, you felt exhausted and Joel looked both wrecked and worried. 

“How late?” Joel asked while standing next to you. But when you didn't answer and had avoided his gaze, he knew. But he still wanted to hear you say it. So he said more sternly  "damn it, how late?"

"2 weeks, Joel ok." you yelled at him for raising his voice. "I'm two weeks late. Not that any of it fucking matters."

"It fucking matters" Joel snapped. You both were so physically exhausted that tempers were flaring once again. As you both stood there in silence you kept watching Joel look at you from your stomach that you were holding, to your face, and then back again. Finally after a moment you sighed and said "Joel, Look I'm- I'm bleeding really heavy ok. And it-it hurts and it doesn't matter if-if we or if- um if I'm…" and then you felt your lower lip quiver as the tears started to flow down your cheeks at the realization that yes you were in fact pregnant, and that you now were having a miscarriage.

As soon as Joel saw your lip quiver he grabbed you and pulled you hard into his chest and held you tight. He heard you let out a sob as you cried into his chest. He didn't stop you because he knew, he knew what you were going through as he and Sarah's mom had gone through the same thing awhile after Sarah was born.  He knew you wanted to be a mom. It was something you two had discussed when you first started out together. You told him you had your period and needed to find some type of rags or cloth to put in your underwear to catch the blood. At first he was furious that you didn't have the scheduled hysterectomy that most women got at the QZ. He had called you irresponsible and a damn fool for not following through with the surgery. But when you explained it to him, we'll more like actually yelled at him, he considered the conversation over and knew that you wanted to have children. But he hoped for your sake that you’d never have kids because having a baby now meant a death sentence sometimes, and he didn't want to think of the possibility of losing you. Now fast forward a year later and he was damn protective over you, whether or not you were (or was) carrying his child. 

As he silently held you he felt his heart ache at the prospect of losing yet again another child. Even though no one knew for sure if you were pregnant, as out here in the wilderness there was no way to tell for sure until you got later in pregnancy. But it didn't matter, he was sure you knew your body. He also knew your cycle and the timing of it, making sure you had extra supplies around that time. He knew you could get cramps occasionally, but nothing like this, and you usually never bled this heavy. He knew something was different and it reminded him of when Sarah's mom had a miscarriage a few months after Sarah was born. 

He stood there with his arms tightly around you gently swaying you side to side humming in your ear that everything was going to be alright and that he was sorry. "What are-are you so-sorry for" you whispered as your sobs started to slow down where you could talk again. 

"For everything darlin'." Joel said. "For treating you wrong, to possibly getting you, um, pregnant, and to- uh- a miscarriage." 

As you stayed wrapped up in each other's arms you heard him sincerely apologize. But when he did you didn't know why he was apologizing for the pregnancy part. Especially when the both of you willingly had unprotected sex all those weeks ago. "It ain't your fault Joel" you said, but he interrupted you by saying "don't tell me it ain't my fault when I was the one that came in ya. I'm a lot older than you sweetheart, I know how this happens and I knew better. It'll never happen again."

When you heard the part of 'it’ll never happen again ' you froze in his arms as you were dreading what he was referring to. You swallowed hard and then said "What part Joel? What part of it ain't happening again that you mean?"

Joel took a moment to think silently to himself and then he gently replied "all of it." It was then that you silently thought to yourself I’m sick and tired of Joel playing with of my feelings and emotions. But it wasn’t something that you could deal with at the present moment, in the meantime, you would allow him to show you compassion over the next few days. But with it you would keep your heart somewhat guarded. You still loved him very much, and you swore to yourself that one day he may learn to love you back. But you knew you couldn’t force it, or force him to face his emotions and feelings toward you. Deep down all of this upset you as you didn’t know where your relationship stood with him.  At one moment he told you that he loved you and didn’t want you to leave, the next moment he’d state that you couldn’t be in the relationship that you wanted with him.  All of this was confusing and you wanted to get to the bottom of why Joel was constantly switching back and forth with you.  But you knew that it was a topic of discussion with him on a different day. 

-End of Chapter 2

Don’t worry, this story will continue with other parts.

Tag list: @punkshort @shotgun-shelby @strawbunnyx @orcasoul @pedritoferg

[arcanahangedman]

it fascinates me how the only hate i see for jundori is entirely projection and bad faith interpretation

chidori can be her own three-dimensional character, a homeless orphan abducted by evil corporate overlords for human experimentation, who grows up too fast and has to learn to fend for herself alongside other victims of this abuse, whose love of art and nature contrasts with her apathy to life and suicidal ideation

While. also. being a child who never got the chance for wider socialisation, bewildered by this weird guy’s interest in her art and his insistence on keeping an eye on her (bc she literally fucking c*ts herself in public and is then hospitalised) but his sheer compassion grows on her. someone called their relationship stockholm syndrome and ooooh my goooood Do u even know what that means.

junpei is a 17 year old kid. as a member of sees, he (like the rest of the group) has no idea what’s going on with the kirijo group or their operations, nor does he hold any power over their choice to hospitalise chidori. also she is there bc SHE LITERALLY SELF H*RMS LIKE ARE U DUMB

to act as if junpei is some sort of scheming villain that supports and is responsible for chidori being held hostage instead of being a scared kid, apart of an organisation he is kept entirely in the dark about, concerned about the safety of this other person his age who goes around assassinating ppl and c*tting herself…genuinely u could not think of a more disingenous interpretation of his character if u tried

i saw someone say that chidori is portrayed by fandom as junpei’s “no-panties mommy housewife” (almost that exact wording) and it’s like. What Are You Talking About No She Isn’t. She Is 16 Why The Fuck Would You Even Suggest That Or Word It That Way You Freak

it’s extremely bizarre to write off a ship bc u choose to engage with the cishet male incel side of the persona fanbase and view it through their perspective. like what does that have to do with their actual depiction in the game or ur average tumblr jundori enjoyer.

if u have issues with the power imbalance between the two of them, sure, it’s understandable. junpei is not the one being held against his will and chidori repeatedly protests staying in the hospital (i must stress that i, for one, do not think it wise to leave a minor who consistently self-h*rms without supervision :p) but the presence of a power imbalance does not automatically equal an abusive misuse of that imbalance

last note: ppl like to bring up junpei’s weirdo behaviour towards the other female cast members. i’m not going to treat this as insignificant but it’s also not particularly relevant unless ur arguing that junpei is seeking to control, perv on, or abuse chidori. Which he isn’t lol like he literally just wants to talk to her, stop her from c*tting herself, and show her that she can have a life outside of living on the streets and assassinating ppl with her merry band of men. the worst u could call him is naive (again. he’s 17.) but yeah he’s soooo controlling and abusive, guys !!

i’m not over here saying everyone has to like or support jundori, or either character. everyone has their preferences and idgaf about urs. but it would be sooooo great if we didn’t act as if one of these two children, both mistreated and left in the dark by evil corporate overlords, is actually a subservient overlord pawn who manipulates chidori so he can ?? keep her company when she’s alone and ask her about her feelings ????

anyway this isn’t supposed to be some epic final anti-jundori takedown so if u wanna discuss further, dm me. i don’t want no smoke just bc i think u ppl are genuinely weird 🩷

conclusion: i’m thinking about how that one persona ships poll had a 90% positive response to jundori so like Boom jundori sweep

[justahuman1757]

@kit-williams

So this a Kharn x Lotara short story, my first one actually. I definitely didn't get a sworm of ideas after that anon which wrote a 10-chapter chapter about them. Also Fs in the chat for their fic 😔, hope they don't mind that I used their idea

A batshit insane man realizes he has fallen in love with a batshit insane woman after a millenia of being apart‼️‼️‼️

A lil' note, this fic is pretty angsty. I also added upon Kharn's and Lotara's character new traits and scenes together that aren't initially in their books

Respect. Kharn has never known respect. He has respected, held in regard, loved - but never been respected. He never bothered to think about it, did he? A true Bezerker would never care about such inconsequential and minor things. Respect? Honour? He was the Betrayer. The Bloody. He who's purpose is to bring blood for the Blood God, skulls for the Skull Throne.

Friends? Never. He once had a friend, Sigismund the one and only. But this friendship would be set on a course of distraction after he met the Red Angel. There was something with Argel Tal too. They fought together in the pits of the Conquerer, developing a brotherhood unlike anything. But then his dear friend was taken by that thing which he doesn't dare name. He might fly into a blind rage at the thought of him.

He was the first amongst his brothers to take the biting nails upon him. He ached for his father's love, attention.. No, no.. Khorne doesn't want him as such! Love? Compassion? Mercy? None of these things hold sway in the eyes of the Blood God.

Oh.. But there was somebody. There was somebody who made him weak. Weak in the knees. Someone who stirred emotions in him that he thought were long buried. Tenderness, longing, a strange warmth that cut through the cold, relentless fury that consumed him. It was a fleeting sensation, yet undeniable—a whisper of what could have been, had he not been bound to a life of blood and violence. She was his only respite from the endless craving for violence.

Her smoldering eyes still scorch his soul. In her presence, the relentless drum of war and the thirst for blood seem to fade, replaced by a tormenting longing that he cannot silence or escape.

Lotara Sarrin.

He sits where he is, lost in memory. The pain is physical, the nails howling, demanding that he continue his relentless rage. Gorechild lies beside him, his helmet resting in his lap. He curls into a fetal position, his muscular arms wrapped around himself. He remembers, and the memories consume him.

Kharn strode through the corridors of The Conqueror, his presence commanding attention. As he turned a corner, he spotted a young woman seemingly absorbed in her work. Assuming she was merely a remembrancer, he approached with his usual disdain.

"Another remembrancer," he sneered, his voice dripping with contempt. "Always in the way, always prying where you're not wanted. What are you doing here? Do you even understand the nature of the battles we fight? Or are you just another pest to be swatted away?"

The woman looked up, her eyes flashing with a fire that silenced his scorn. “I am not a remembrancer,” she snapped, her tone both authoritative and sharp. “I am Lotara Sarrin, Captain of the The Conqueror. I won’t tolerate your arrogance. You’re nothing but a brute with a blade, and you’ll show me respect or face the consequences.”

Kharn’s eyes widened slightly, but he met her gaze with defiant fire. Lotara’s voice cut through the air like a blade. “Remember this, bastard: I command the same ship you bleed for. If you think you can bully your way through, you’re sorely mistaken. Respect isn’t given; it’s earned, and you’ve a long way to go before you’re worthy of mine.”

Kharn coughed out blood and got up from the harsh soil.

Kharn, battered and bruised from the latest battle, trudges through the corridors of the Conqueror with the aim of reaching the Apothecary. As he turns a corner, he runs into Lotara, who eyes his disheveled state with a mix of disdain and exasperation.

Lotara’s voice is sharp and commanding. "Oh, look at you, Kharn. What a mess. Can't you go five minutes without turning your beautiful armor into a blood-soaked rag? Honestly, is it so hard to keep yourself from splattering it with the filth of parasites?"

She pulls out a handkerchief with a flourish and gestures imperiously. "Kneel down, you oaf. Let me clean up this mess you've made. It's bad enough you've tarnished my view with your disgusting appearance. Don't you dare think you can waltz around like this and not face my scorn."

As she wipes the blood from his helm with brisk, deliberate strokes, her words cut like a blade. "How many times do I have to tell you that your armor isn’t a canvas for your battlefield carnage? Do you enjoy making my job harder? If you weren't so busy wallowing in the blood of your enemies, maybe you'd learn to keep your gear in some semblance of order."

She scowls as she works, her tone barely masking her irritation. "I swear, Kharn, if you keep this up, I might just have to start charging you for cleaning services. Or better yet, maybe I'll have you scrub it yourself next time. You think you're so impressive with your rampaging, but really, you’re just a walking disaster."

Kharn, bemused and unaware of her underlying affection, simply nods and stays still as she continues her work, her reprimands ringing with a peculiar mix of frustration and something he can’t quite place.

Kharn charges up the hill, his steps pounding the earth as he races toward the peak. The grass, wild and overgrown, rustles against the backdrop of a setting sun casting long shadows over the rugged landscape. At the summit, he pauses, breathless, taking in the sprawling view of darkening forests and distant, rolling plains.

Kharn, at the start of the Horus Heresy, sat across from Captain Lotara in a dimly lit chamber, the air thick with the tension of their card game. With a final triumphant flourish, Kharn laid down his winning hand, a grin spreading across his face.

"Another victory for me, Captain Sarrin," Kharn said, his voice carrying a note of playful triumph.

Lotara's eyes narrowed, her jaw tightening. "How can you be so insufferably smug, Kharn? You’ve won every game tonight. It's pathetic."

Kharn's smile remained as he reached across the table. "Come now, Lotara. It’s just a game. Don't let it get to you."

Her face reddened with anger. "You think this is about the game? It’s about your pitiful attempt to show some sort of emotional depth, and you’re failing miserably. How can you stand there with that stupid grin on your face, acting like some sort of… of soft-hearted fool?"

Kharn felt an unfamiliar warmth spreading through him as he watched her. It was a gentle, almost glowing sensation, and he realized it happened every time he was with her. His cheeks flushed slightly, betraying his feelings even as he struggled to suppress them. He liked being with her. He genuinely liked her presence.

Lotara’s fury escalated. "Why aren’t you saying anything? Are you so feeble that you can’t even respond when someone calls you out on your weakness? Maybe you think your silence is some grand gesture of strength, but it’s nothing but a coward’s escape. You’re weak, Kharn. Just a pathetic excuse for a warrior who can't even handle a little criticism without turning into a grinning idiot!"

Her words, harsh and biting, seemed to bounce off Kharn, who remained unaffected. He continued to watch her, his smile widening slightly.

"Look at you," Lotara raged, pacing back and forth. "Smiling like a fool while I’m tearing into you. You think this makes you strong? It doesn’t! It makes you a joke! A pitiful, weak joke!"

Kharn’s smile grew warmer, more genuine. He felt an odd sense of satisfaction, a strange warmth that he couldn’t quite place.

"Just keep talking, Lotara," Kharn said softly, still smiling. "I’ve got all the time in the world."

Lotara’s face twisted with even greater fury. She spat out her final insult, her voice dripping with venom. "You’re nothing but a coward hiding behind a mask of serenity. Go play your games and live in your delusions. Just don’t come crying when the real world finally catches up with you."

Kharn’s gaze followed her, his smile never faltering. He continued to feel that strange warmth inside, even as Lotara stormed out, leaving him alone in the dim chamber. He missed her already.

Kharn stood on the hill, gazing up at the sky where, in millenia past, Lotara’s flagship would have hovered above the World Eaters' battles, a vigilant guardian. He hoped to see her presence once more. Despite her ship falling to Chaos, she had continued her fight, even as a struggling old woman, performing her duties with the same enduring resolve. Now, her phantom was a shadow aboard the Conqueror, fused with the Machine Spirit and appearing only to select officers. Known only as The Mistress, this wraith was maddened and lost in time, conducting itself as if the Great Crusade were still ongoing. Kharn’s heart ached with a mix of nostalgia and longing as he remembered her indomitable spirit.

He could never tell her he has fallen in love.

[galesdevoteewife]

I imagine Zilvera at times has problems keeping up with the moral compass of some characters, namely Wyll and Karlach, specially with subjects as slavery, child abuse (as she might not consider some abusive traits as abuse), and others.

I can imagine them seeing her free the deep gnomes and being "thank gods you are against slavery", and because she avoids confrontation her reacting being like "Yeah, yeah, sure. Whatever helps us sleep soundly at night without more conflict than the one Shadowheart and Lae'zel bring."

Hi Anon! Thanks so much for your ask! This might get a bit, or very lengthy because I find it hard to stop talking, or thinking, about their story 😅😂💜

Yeah Zilvera's moral compass is basically "whatever leads to what I want is right."

The storyline I chose here was: co-op with the duergar elder → used regular explosives to blow open the cave and kept the Smokepowder → killed Nere and loot all his money from his body without being noticed. This battle turned into a favor the elder owed her, since he failed to pay what he promised. → freed the deep gnomes, including Barcus.

In Zilvera's eyes, these were all minor skirmishes, and the true enemies haven't shown their faces yet. She wanted to gather all possible advantages for the upcoming real war. The little guys with powerful explosives technology were worth investing in. And Nere? Who?

She has no sympathy for slaves or children. She thinks these people brought it upon themselves; powerlessness and compliance are the true crimes. Wyll and Karlach were great "good-guys" moral examples for her because their reactions were honest, instant, and easy to read. She influences people by making them to like her, and in general surface people like the good guys. She knew the concepts of slavery, manipulation, and abuse are triggering to many, so she prefers putting on an act. Nobody ever openly asks her opinion towards slavery, but if they did, she'd give sly, witty answers like "Of course, I ran a slave farm back home," or "Why? You need a mistress?"

If she was alone, she'd probably wrest control from the duergars by making shocking horror examples of her capability, then force the gnomes to figure out a way to blow open the rocks immediately. Her approach would be, "Your loved ones are in there too, right? Don't you want to save them? Clock's ticking, and their fates are depend on you."

In her opinion whipping slaves to make them work faster is foolish child's play—how can injured arms swing quicker? She has no need for defective slaves. She slaves with a long-term reward and punishment system. Learning the slave's drives and fears, creating conflicts of interest among them to ensure they don't band together, making them prone to betraying each other. She has a twisted appreciation for the true art of manipulation. The master's work should always be deeply ingrained and unnoticed. Flogging? Beating? Starving? Amateur. My spider baby was raised in Lolth's church after all.

Ironically, her core has always been a devoted lover, a giver, a pleaser. Her lover's approval means everything to her. Zilvera feels embarrassed by the way she loves so she's pretty shy in romance, even worse in bed. It's an endless cycle for her—she gets hyped by their affection and then hates herself for having no dignity. But the sweetness is all she wants in the world so she'd easily go back to the same track. I wrote a story curve for her and it'd eventually gets a lot better as their bond grows and she slowly learn self acceptance. Her moral compass had became guessing-what-Gale-likes ever since she fell in love with him XD She’s already hopeless way before they reached the forge. She always looks for opportunities to put a smile on his face, to make him proud of her. Anything she thinks he wouldn’t approve, she'd do behind his back or find another way. This tendency eventually sowed unease in herself. She thought that once Gale find out everything about her then he'll definitely leave. She thought their relationship was but a countdown on a tightrope which she tried hard to cling to. My HC Gale actually knew some of her secrets and struggles, but he was treating the matter carefully. He sees her true nature as quite selfless, a rare and precious attribute that he loves about her. Plus it's intoxicating for him to see how much influence he has upon her and how obvious that he is her priority always.

[DISCLAIMER] I wanted to build an anti-hero character and create a reasonable, relatable drow culture out of the straight silly evil frame so I built Zilvera this way. None of these represent my own moral opinion! XD

[multimuse-citadel]

My Rant about the New Event

WARNING: Spoilers for new Summertime Scales and Tales Event

First of all, I must say that this event was super cute and that the devs really put in a lot of work into constructing a different area that's so unlike Teyvat. Each of the characters we meet are so charming and even though they are all minor characters, they all shine with such personality and appeal. Not to mention, they are so cute!

Second of all, we finally got some more lore on the Hexenzirkel. While it does suck that we'll never meet Rhinedottir in the game, it was nice to see how she was even when she was close to death. Anya, or "B" as we know her, is a good introduction into what she's like, supplying the residents of Simulanka with the magic ink needed to live. And while it's nice to finally talk to Alice again, I still often wonder when she's gonna check on her daughter. Side point aside, we finally know that Anya, Alice, and Rhinedottir all helped to create Simulanka.

Third of all, bringing back Nilou, Navia, Kirara, and Wanderer were odd choices at first, but seeing how well they worked together was such a refreshing change. I always loved how the devs bring in characters from different nations to help out. It was also nice how each one had their own "role" in the story. Like of course, Nilou would be a fairy and Navia would be a king. It just suits them for who they are. I thought that Kirara would get a larger role but I have yet to do her side quest as of writing this. So stay tuned!

And finally, MY 👏🏼 HUSBAND 👏🏼 FINALLY 👏🏼 GETTING 👏🏼 SOME 👏🏼 CHARACTER 👏🏼 DEVELOPMENT! I can definitely sense Nahida's hand in helping him heal, but damn it was so amazing actually seeing him talk to S-Durin and show compassion instead resorting to violence like most of the fandom portrays him as. Although I kinda expected S-Durin to have a similar backstory considering that the story labeled Wanderer as the hero and not the Traveler, it was splendid how he wasn't a totally different person to the point where he would be unrecognizable and that we, the audience, instead can see the results of his growth. It just sucks he never got a different outfit of his own nor did any of the characters question it. In any case, even if he doesn't believe it, he will always be a hero to me! Also, I totally expected Wanderer to be a tsundere, like given his personality, it was unavoidable. And to wrap things up, here are photos of my husband (with Durin in his evil and mini forms) being amazing cuz SKTIRDOAPGKRNE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

P.S. his newfound friendship with Mini-Durin is very cute and low-key, could be penance for losing the unnamed child and giving him a chance to start over.

[sokkastyles]

Mai brings out the worst in Zuko. He's always more negative with her, it's like how he would try to get affection from his family by being mean to others. I feel like if Mai had a decent rendemption I could get behind the relationship because I would feel like she could understand what he went through in a way that Katara doesn't but that's not what happened. He had a better relationship with Ty Lee and they barely spoke to each other!

The Boiling Rock scene where she saves him could have been a redemption if she didn't then come back in the finale and act like he owed her for saving him...after she was part of the reason he almost died in the first place. "Saving the jerk who dumped me" could have led to a realization that Zuko's mission was more important than her relationship with him, but unfortunately we don't get that. There's no sense that she even realized she did anything wrong, she just comes back to yell at Zuko and tell him to never break up with her again and that she "kind of likes him," and Zuko accepts that because he's so worried that she hates him that he forgot why he broke up with her in the first place, just like he apparently forgot that she was in prison.

Saying that Mai brings out the worst in Zuko isn't even me insulting Mai, because she was meant to. That was what their relationship was built on when Zuko wanted to pretend that going back to the Fire Nation was what he wanted, and we were supposed to read it as a negative relationship. That's why Ty Lee is more understanding to Zuko in one line than Mai ever is. That's also why Mai had to have a redemption in the first place. It's just not a very believable one, and that would be okay if she was paired with another minor villain who had a minor redemption, but she's paired with Zuko, who is one of the most complex characters who has the most significant redemption arc in the series.

And not to make this about zutara but since you mentioned Katara, one can't help notice the way the narrative sets up Zuko almost turning coat because of Katara's compassion and understanding in the caves, and then the very next episode being clearly upset about going back to the Fire Nation while his new girlfriend Mai dismisses his feelings and ignores him while he continues to look unhappy. We are supposed to notice this! It's a very classic set up as part of Zuko's narrative of realizing the things he thought he wanted are not what he needed, and Mai is a part of that narrative. It bothers me so much that the show then acts like Zuko did something wrong by breaking up with her because he realized that saving the world was more important. "But he broke up with her by letter," you say? I don't care, he did what he needed to do to survive, and Mai's reaction when she does confront him also proves that to be the right choice.

Mai's redemption is like if Zuko joined the gaang and become firelord and then at the end was like "actually maybe I'll start another war" and Aang had this "Oh shit I'm in the doghouse" expression and then Zuko was like "good thing I kinda like you Aang" and then they hugged.

[autumnmobile12]

"If you're too short to stare down your nose at someone, keep your chin down, your eyes up, and don't blink. It's not as threatening, but it will show you are not afraid." -Mai (probably)

...

In exploring various avenues to go about a Ghost Hunt/My Hero crossover, one of the more entertaining dynamics I think would be the interactions between Mai and Endeavor.

To put it bluntly, there is a strength behind Mai’s character that I don’t think we in the Ghost Hunt fandom give her near enough credit for, and that is the fact that on a fundamental level, Mai is fearless.

As per general anime protagonist behavior, she is almost exactly like Deku when it comes to doing what she perceives to be the right thing.  Reckless, yes, and she is often running headlong into danger, but it’s important to remember Mai has also never been afraid to call anyone out on their bad behavior.

Within minutes of meeting Ayako, she called her out for talking down to her classmate, a classmate she was not even particularly close to.

She often calls out Masako and Naru both for their condescension and attitudes.

Takigawa was physically holding her back from going after the faculty at Rokuryou.

She called out Lin pretty quickly for his bullshit.

And she straight up yells at everyone in the very first case for their bickering and posturing even though she barely knew any of them.

In canon, Mai jumps at ghosts and she is easily unsettled/frightened, but even against Urado, she still has the inherent resolve to think, ‘Okay, you need to go.’

Also recall the fact that she has not hesitated to out Naru twice on minor secrets solely because he pissed her off.  That whole bit in the Labyrinth case where she demands to know why he didn’t tell them the full reason why they were there and he just answers with how ‘some people don’t know when to keep their mouth shut.’  Yeah, he didn’t say that because he didn’t think she could keep the secret.  Homeboy straight up knew she would weaponize that information if given the chance.

For all her compassion and the ‘good girl’ vibes we remember her for, Mai is petty af.

...

This is why I like writing Mai as an adult.  Canonically as a teenager, she’s already formidable in her own way.  As a young adult who’s dealt with Naru and company for a few years and has subsequently gotten used to the constant razzing and sass the whole group brings to the table (and let's be real, nobody in My Hero Academia would be prepared for the full force of SPR's combined sass,) adult Mai would be a force of nature.

So as intimidating as Endeavor is, I legitimately think Mai’s reaction to him would be a resolute,  “I don’t care if he’s three times my size and on fire, nobody speaks that way in my presence and gets away with it.  Hold my purse, hold my beer, time for a verbal ass-whooping.”

And then there’s Yasuhara saying, “Go off, sis,” and filming for posterity.

Speaking of SPR's favorite bespectacled fiend, Yasuhara has definitely hit on everyone in the top ten.

Yasuhara and Mai both have probably ended up in this situation, possibly at the same time and the end result is always the same:

Naru stepping in.

"What exactly is your plan here? Putting them down or harming them are your only two options right now, only one of which is the smart option. Unhand them. You're embarrassing everyone."

...

SPR really be the Animaniacs sibs to every Pro with an ego. Which is, like, 90% of Pros. And villains.

...

But yeah, general cattiness between Mai and Endeavor:

"I didn't see you there, Taniyama. Perhaps your lackluster and unremarkable costume was to blame."

"Not all of us are trying to signal that Gondor calls for aid."

[tyrantisterror]

top ten favorite Elves? (specific characters, a given setting’s take on the species, or even some variants from folklore like Huldra and Nuckelavee.) I know you’re more a fan of Orcs and Goblins, than of Elves, but I’m still curious to know.

Um... hmm... yeah elves really aren't one of the fantasy creatures that gets my imagination going for the most part, so this is going to be pretty half-assed.

Gotta give credit to Galadriel first and foremost, specifically as played by Cate Blanchett, if only because she awoke something in me as a teenager - something that had been seeded throughout my childhood, and which I didn't recognize fully until several years later when Cate Blanchett stepped into a very different fantasy role.

Dungeon Meshi has very quickly grown to one of my favorite fantasy things so I HAVE to give a shoutout to my girl Marcille, who's just a great fantasy character PERIOD, but also is a thorough exploration of how elves can be very interesting as a creature concept.

Not a complete exploration, though, because one of the other great things about Dungeon Meshi is that it keeps finding new wrinkles to put in its world-building. I distinctly remember when I got to the introduction of The Canaries in the manga because I immediately thought, "Holy shit those are the coolest fucking elves I've ever seen." And they are indeed super cool, with a great deal of variety between them in terms of skillsets, personalities, moral compasses, and exactly how they showcase what elves and their society are like. Each Canary brings a better understanding of Dungeon Meshi's world and take on elves specifically to you, the reader, and they also double as a pretty great team of quirky minor antagonists.

I have only vague memories of seeing Record of Lodoss War when I was younger, so I don't really remember much about Deedlit's personality, but she has the best fashion of any elf, and I love those ears.

That's ten, right? I'll be charitable and give some honorable mentions since this is a pretty undercooked answer:

Does Midna count? Her imp form feels more goblin, but her true form feels like a spin on dark elves to counter the hylians' "Elves in all but name" status.

There are other elf characters from fiction I like - Shadowheart and Astarion from Baldur's Gate 3, Fenris and Merril and Seras from the Dragon Age franchise, a good number of the NPCs in the Rune Factory Franchise, Legolas, etc., but for all of them the fact that they're elves is pretty much incidental to me. I like them as characters, while the fact that they're elves feels more or less surface level - you could swap "elf" with "Italian" and their stories would play out the same.

Finally, shoutout to Fantasy High subverting expectations of elves with Gilear, and then dunking on those same cliche expectations with lethal accuracy later on:

[metvmorqhoses]

Although I wasn’t expecting a completely faithful adaptation, since it is just that—an adaptation. I was expecting at least a coherent narrative that followed what season 1 gave us. Even though s1 diverged from the books particularly in terms of characterization it wasn’t something I was upset about since Ben and Jesse’s versions still had substance and incredible chemistry. This season hurt because the bad writing had Ben doing his best to salvage Darkling in his acting choices alone, all while Jesse’s Alina was completely stripped of nuance. It was such a strange choice the way the writers handled their relationship since bad writing aside, their scenes were still intriguing just based off their on screen chemistry alone. Which is why it was such a disappointment that instead of utilizing that, along with book canon to create a complex and enthralling mutual connection we instead got…this lol A big thing was always how despite their fundamental differences, they understood each other. I could see Ben’s Darkling trying to emphasize that part but when you have Alina absolutely not having it, it just comes off as pathetic on his part, which is what the writers wanted I suppose. I would say the ending is hopeful that this isn’t the end for them and a way for Alina to bring Darkling back but if the writing is anything like this season then that might just be wishful thinking.

Not being fond of the books, I didn't particularly care about plot faithfulness either. The real, terrible problem is that the dynamics and the characters' être weren't respected in the slightest, everything meaningful stripped of nuance and complexity for no apparent reason if not a huge dumb woke flex.

The crux of this disaster resides in the fact the writers seem to have completely forgotten (and I too was absolutely astonished by this, because in season one it absolutely wasn't the case) that actual human beings don't feel in black and white and half a dimension, at least not the ones without psychopathologies? And I swear that everyone but the Darkling and maybe one or two Crows this season acted like unfeeling robots or caricatures of themselves with a plot task to complete.

You know, as not fond of the concept as I am (since I don't really think the Darkling to be the villain of the story or so guilty of everything he is angrily accused of by the supposed "heroes"), they could have totally pulled off the darkest and most twisted interpretation of him imaginable and still respect his character and dynamic with Alina, since love, core understanding, admiration, hatred, violation and betrayal are not mutually exclusive and can actually be felt at the same time.

One splendid example of it is The Great. I don't know if you are familiar with the show, but it is the epitome of enemies to lovers to enemies to lovers and the things the two protagonists do to each other are way worse than anything the Darkling has ever done to Alina, but the deep connection between them is never denied, cannot be denied, no matter the terrible actions they inflict upon each other.

Alina could have been convinced the Darkling didn't deserve to live (no matter how fairly or unfairly), she could have decided to kill him and still recognize their unique connection, the nameless thing she feels, the deep affinities they share, maybe even be scared of it all, maybe even wishing none of it was there, but without outright denying what they fed us for the entirety of season one just out of a minor deception, appearing nothing but a petulant, close-minded child. Not only this made Aleksander appear as a delusional, desperate, weak stalker, but it made Alina honestly appear a dumb idiot without a single brain cell, if not an outright psychopath.

Not feeling any form of emotion or compassion for someone you had romantic feelings for (feelings she was even forgetting her great love Mal for, just saying) just ten minutes prior is not badass behaviour, is just not normal. Hell, not showing any emotion or compassion for a human being who is trying to show you an abyss of sorrow (that you are destined to share by the way) is not normal, not even in terms of old-fashioned villain/hero dynamics. Usually the hero is the one to have pity for the villain, the one with the moral high ground. Here not only this isn't the case when the two are balances of each other, connected cosmically and previous lovers, but basic human decency is also completely dismissed and Aleksander is the only one to show any.

I am as astonished as you by all this. I hope this whole season was in truth Alina's slow descent into madness, her power corrupting her from the start. I hope this is the reason they chose to feed us this soulless drivel, it's honestly the only way they could redeem the series at all, but who knows at this point.

[archduke42]

OK, I've had time to really reflect with this trailer

I still have some mixed feelings. Part of me hoped they would not bring Barriss back because maybe it was time to move on. After 11 years, I felt like I was just being suckered by red herrings. It's a little exhausting when opportunities happen and everyone speculates but it becomes a false alarm. Plus I used to be rather arrogant over the thought of Barriss being an Inquisitor. Used to irritate me a lot that fans even wanted that to happen. "How can anyone want this?" I used to ask myself. But I'm old fashioned, from a time when good guys were good, bad guys were bad, and Hero(ine) blows up the super weapon. All this character ambiguity people embraced for their Star Wars was a bit alien to me. It was enough that she was supposed to die in Order 66, but this was almost too much. The backlash against "The Wrong Jedi" was a tidal wave at the time, and lots of fans (myself included) cried hard at Filoni and Lucas' casual retcon.

But then, I'd been writing hero journey stories for Barriss since 2005 or 2006 and the whole villain plot twist was infuriating. And there was so much hate for Barriss on the internet at the time. I cursed Filoni's name with an old man's fiery blackened heart. My Muse had become the most hated character in Star Wars, and I had become a hot mess for several years after so much heavy emotional investment. I wanted to channel all my energy into Barriss stories (and eventually Barrissoka stories, since they were such a perfect couple) I also commissioned some shipping/wedding/marriage art to maybe push back against people's notions of a revenge fight between Ahsoka and Barriss. I have been blessed with discovering a huge Barriss Offee/Barrissoka fan community out here, and I think we have all built so positive energy in our love for these characters. Being a writer and reading the works of so many others has helped me grow with the community and learn so much. I am grateful to the art of people like @grissaecrim, and stories by people like @jedimasterbailey and @stellanslashgeode (and so many others) I can be excited that Barriss is officially coming back! The wait is over, and my anxiety returns. but I also have had a long period of time in 11 years to accept these new dynamics for Barriss. I am ready to accept whatever Destiny is in store for Barriss, though I suspect Filoni will be giving her a journey of sorts and not just leading these episodes towards a villain death for her. I suspect this journey may even go to live streaming with Ahsoka involved but time will tell. I still loath the concept of challenging expectations, but I realize that Star Wars characters have to grow out of two dimensional designs. Heroes don't need to be sparkling perfect and Villains can have a moral compass of sorts. I just wish Lucasfilm would stick to a consistent history with all this. I'm certain Filoni will have more retcons to drop on us. It's his style. But in fairness, the trailer was exciting, the animation looked really good. And I enjoyed seeing other minor characters involved, like 4th Sister, Grand Inquisitor, etc. I look forward to the exciting battles with Elsbeth and Grievous, etc. Most importantly with this trailer comes the enthusiasm to see Barriss return. Much of the hate is gone, and the Star Wars community in places like Youtube, Tumblr, etc is blowing up with excitement for this. The majority fans are ready for her adventure to continue with open minds. I think that gives me more joy than anything, that fans actually want to see her again, and want her to win at this in the best way possible even though she is starting from a dark place. I'm ready to see how this goes. This could be one of the best Star Wars experiences of 2024.

[baileypie-writes]

Can you do any of the main pretty cure girls x female reader who is a ray of sunshine and has always brighten the girls day, but reader is also a anti magical girl who fights for the bad guys, but when reader sees innocent people or those she cares about getting hurt she helps the main girls

A/N ~ Sure! I hope I interpreted your request correctly. Apologies if I didn’t! Hope you enjoy!

~The Doki Doki Pretty Cure with a Sunshine Villain Friend~

~~~♥️~~~♥️~~~♥️~~~

Fandom: Doki Doki! Precure

Fanfic Type: Headcanons

Reader: Gender neutral, evil to good

Relationship: Platonic

Characters Included: Mana Aida/Cure Heart, Rikka Hishikawa/Cure Diamond, Alice Yotsuba/Cure Rosetta, Makoto Kenzaki/Cure Sword, Aguri Madoka/Cure Ace

Genre: Mostly fluff, minor angst

Rating: PG

Warnings: Makoto’s section is the most angsty, possibly OOC Aguri

~Masterlists~

~Doki Doki! Precure Masterlist~

Guide: Each character’s dialogue is their signature color, and Reader’s dialogue is uncolored.

‼️Glitter Force stans DNI‼️

~~~♥️~~~♥️~~~♥️~~~

~Mana Aida/Cure Heart~

~~~🩷~~~🩷~~~🩷~~~

~ Mana always sees the best in everyone, even the most cruel. So when she finds out you’re on the side of the Selfish, she still continues to be your friend. When in your company, she tries to keep the whole Pretty Cure thing out of conversation to reduce the risk of any drama. But of course, she still intends to bring you to the good side.

“Hey (name)! We’re all going to the mall. Wanna come?”

“You’re inviting me? Even though I’m-“

“Oh please! Don’t worry about that. We’re still friends! Now c’mon, let’s go!”

~ In her mind, someone as kind and caring as you can’t be all that bad. So she constantly tries to use that as an attempt to help you turn good. She’ll talk about how good it feels to be nice, and how if you wanted to, you could choose to do so all the time.

“Wow, that was a close one! It was so nice of you to save that child from the Jikochuu!

“I had to. They had nothing to do with this.”

“I knew you’re not all bad!”

“Oh Mana…”

~ She treats you the nearly same way as she treats Regina. Meaning she includes you in as many adventures as she can, and always tries to defend you when the others get mad at your label as a Selfish. In fact, she treat you even better than Regina, because you’re much kinder than her, so there’s more to work with.

“Why are you inviting (name), Mana? They’re a Selfish. They don’t belong here.”

“Aw, c’mon. Don’t you think that’s a bit harsh? After all, they’re still a great friend!”

“How great can they be if they’re one of the people who helped take over the Trump Kingdom?”

“Makopi, please have some compassion! I’m sure they did it because they never knew about being good! They were only doing what they were told. I’m sure if we let them, they can switch sides!”

~ It always makes Cure Heart’s day when you help out in battles. It makes her so happy how you go out of your way to fight against your own side when innocent people’s lives are in danger. It gives her even more hope that you can be reformed, and more determination to help you.

“Cure Heart, look out!”

“Woah, that was close! You saved me, thanks! Hey, don’t you think you’d make a good Pretty Cure? You’re so caring, I think you’d be a natural!”

“Not a chance.”

~~~🩷~~~🩷~~~🩷~~~

~Rikka Hishikawa/Cure Diamond~

~~~🔷~~~🔷~~~🔷~~~

~ When she first met you, Rikka tried her hardest not to be your friend. She thought it would be easy, considering you were evil. However, when someone who’s a walking ray of sunshine comes into your life, it’s hard to warm up to them.

“Hey guy! I brought cookies!”

“They’re not poisoned, are they?”

“What? No? Why on earth would they be?”

“Because you’re evil?”

“Yeah, but I’m not a monster! Just try one!”

“Hmm… these are actually pretty good.”

~ She would’ve preferred not to see you, to avoid conflicting feelings. But of course, Mana couldn’t care less. She tried talking some sense into her, trying to get her to understand that you were evil, but to no avail. Knowing Mana’s tendency to not give up seeing the good in people, she just learned to bear with your presence. Although, she can’t help but enjoy it when it’s so nice.

“Hey guys! Look who’s here!”

“Who?”

“Hello!”

“Oh. Hey (name)…”

“Ha! You’re smiling! That means you’re happy to see me!”

“No!…”

~ Sometimes, she forgets that you’re on the bad side, and finds herself being friendly with you. She hates to admit it, but she thinks you’re fun to be around. But of course, once her memory comes back, a pit of guilt in her stomach makes her distance herself from you once again.

“Hey, I know that book! It’s really good!”

“Really, you like it?”

“Yeah! The twist at the end is so good! Oh, sorry! I don’t wanna spoil.”

“Haha, it’s okay. I’ve actually already read this a few times. I really like it too.”

“Rikka! A Jikochuu is nearby!”

“Aaand that’s my queue to leave!”

“Oh… yeah…”

~ Conflicting feelings once again find themselves in Cure Diamond’s mind whenever you choose to help them out with fighting Jikochuus. She knows she should dislike you for being a Selfish, but she can’t help but remember Mana’s way of thinking. Afterwards, her demeanor towards you alters a bit. She continues being friendly to you, but when it comes to Pretty Cure stuff, she never lets that get in the way of saving the Trump Kingdom.

“Hey (name).”

“Hey Rikka! Wow, you’re actually talking to me first?”

“Haha, yeah. I just wanted to say that it was really cool of you to save Mana like that.”

“Oh, it was nothing. I just didn’t want my friend to get hurt. You know I’d do the same for you, right?”

“Yeah… I do.”

~~~🔷~~~🔷~~~🔷~~~

~Alice Yotsuba/Cure Rosetta~

~~~♣️~~~♣️~~~♣️~~~

~ Alice just went along with whatever Mana did. So when Mana decided to be your friend, so did she. She didn’t really care much about you being a selfish, just as long as you weren’t purposely hanging out with them to target them. But you weren’t, so she treats you with the utmost kindness and hospitality.

*Alice’s car pulls up next to you*

“Good day, (name). The girls and I are having a tea party later today. You’re welcome to attend if you’d like.”

“Wow, really? That sounds like fun! I’d love to!”

“Wonderful. Would you like to ride in the car with me, or would you rather teleport.”

“Eh, teleporting’s too boring. Besides, I’ve never ridden in a car before!”

~ While she trusts you, she still keeps tabs on you, just to be safe. She has security cameras everywhere, so there’s no avoiding her watchful eyes. It’s not a secret either. Just ask, and she’ll admit it.

“How was Makoto’s concert, (name)?”

“Great! Wait, how did you know I was there?”

“My family owns the security cameras in the building she performed in.”

“So… you were spying on me.”

“(name), I’m aware of everything that happens around the city.”

“Oh…”

~ Anytime a potential fight or argument threatens to break out due to you being a Selfish, Alice quickly and calmly stops it before it can happen. She prefers to keep your “job” something only to be talked about during Pretty Cure related things.

“Why is the Selfish here?”

“Because they’re our friend.”

“They’re no friend of mine.”

“Please, Aguri. Let’s not argue. Just enjoy the party; something unrelated to our jobs.”

~ The main reason Cure Rosetta treats you as a friend is because of your kindness. She knows that if you were truly evil, your kindness wouldn’t even be a fraction of what it is. So she believes that it’s not worth it to hate you. Over time, her thoughts are only proven more true as you continue to help them out during battles. Any true villain couldn’t care less about people they know getting hurt, never mind innocent bystanders.

“I can’t believe (name) still has the nerve to show their face. Especially after all they’ve done.”

“Makoto, isn’t (name) a big supporter of yours?”

“Well, yeah. But that doesn’t matter.”

“I beg to differ. If they were truly so bad, don’t you think they wouldn’t be listening to your music?”

“Hmph…”

~~~♣️~~~♣️~~~♣️~~~

~Makoto Kenzaki/Cure Sword~

~~~♠️~~~♠️~~~♠️~~~

~ Makoto made no effort whatsoever to be your friend. She refused to talk to you as much as possible, not wanting to interact with one of the people responsible for the taking over of her home. Convinced it was all an act, she despised you for even having the nerve to be so friendly with the others.

“How’s your day been, Makoto?”

“It was fine until you showed up. And don’t call me that. If you want to refer to me, call me Kenzaki.”

“Woah, no need to be so cold!”

“I have every right to be cold.”

~ Anytime you showed your presence, her attitude immediately shifted to a grumpy one. She did not want you around, and she didn’t even try to hide it. She made many attempts to get the others to stop hanging out with you, but none were successful. If only Mana weren’t so keen on seeing the good in people.

“Hey Makopi! Look who’s coming to the mall with us!”

“Oh, it’s them. I’m second thought, maybe I won’t go.”

“Aww, c’mon Makoto! It’ll be fun!”

“I told you, call me Kenzaki. We’re not friends, and never will be.”

~ Eventually, against her will, Makoto seemed to begin warming up to you. It started when she found out you were a fan of hers. She found it annoying at first, and would give you signed merchandise to get you to leave her alone. But over time, she would find herself anticipating your interactions with her. But of course, she’d never admit it.

“We needed to get rid of some extra stock, so here’s a CD of some of my older songs. I already signed it.”

“Oh my gosh, no way! You’re the best, Makoto! Thank you!”

“I’ve told you many times before, call me Ken- You know what? Never mind.”

~ It confused her a lot when you’d help them out. You cared way too much for the innocent and those you considered friends, even though you were supposed to be harming them. The one thing it took for her to finally trust you was you saving her. Since then, she no longer treated you with disgust and hatred. Instead, she greeted you with soft, barely noticeable smiles. She even talks to you, and laughs at your jokes.

“Why did you save me?”

“Because you’re my friend, Makoto.”

“No I’m not.”

“To me, you are. Even if it’s one-sided, I still care about you. But I don’t think it’s one-sided. After all, you let me call you by your first name now!”

“*sigh* You know, I tried my best to hate you. But you just keep making it harder. I don’t even think I still do at this point.”

~~~♠️~~~♠️~~~♠️~~~

~Aguri Madoka/Cure Ace~

~~~💄~~~💄~~~💄~~~

~ Like Makoto, Aguri also refused to be your friend at first. But her dislike for you didn’t come from a personal level, but from a respect for her kingdom. She feels as though it’s simply irresponsible and downright offensive to the Trump Kingdom for her to even consider being friendly with you.

“Wanna go hang out at Alice’s house, Aguri?”

“Will the Selfish be there?”

“You mean (name)? Yeah, why?”

“Then I’ll have to pass. Sorry.”

~ But unlike Makoto, her feelings are much more easily swayed. Of course, she’s still very stubborn. But she knows she’s growing to like you. And besides, she doesn’t show her love for her other friends that much either. For you specifically though, she’s much more cold.

“Hello Selfish.”

“Oh, hi Aguri! Wow, you’re actually talking to me!”

“Hm, yeah. But that doesn’t mean I like you.”

“Haha, I’m not convinced.”

“What was that?”

“Oh, nothing.”

~ She carefully and closely studied your relationship with the others, and took note of how caring you are when it comes to their safety. She also took into account how you also care for the safety of random bystanders. This was what really pushed her to finally trust you.

“Selfish, why do you go out of your way to help others? You’re supposed to be evil.”

“Well, because I care about them. The bystanders have nothing to do with what’s going on. And, of course, you all are my friends. So why wouldn’t I save you?”

“But you’re not supposed to care.”

“Then I guess that’s what makes me special!”

~ After a while, she finally allowed herself to bond with you. You finally earned yourself the right for her to talk to you, to which nobody ever thought would happen. She even considers the two of you to be friends. Though, of course, she’d never say it out loud. But don’t take it personally. However, when it comes to the sake of her kingdom, don’t expect her to spare you.

“Can you pass me the cake (name)?”

“Sure! Wait, you didn’t call me ‘Selfish’! You actually said my name!”

“Yeah, yeah. Just gimme the cake.”

~~~💄~~~💄~~~💄~~~

~~baileypie-writes

[aurumacadicus]

Well, it's time to pick our club's book for May! If you're interested in book club, shoot me a message for an invite. All summaries are underneath the cut! Happy reading!

A Tempest of Tea by Hafsah Faizal

On the streets of White Roaring, Arthie Casimir is a criminal mastermind and collector of secrets. Her prestigious tearoom transforms into an illegal bloodhouse by night, catering to the vampires feared by society. But when her establishment is threatened, Arthie is forced to strike an unlikely deal with an alluring adversary to save it—and she can’t do the job alone.

Calling on some of the city’s most skilled outcasts, Arthie hatches a plan to infiltrate the sinister, glittering vampire society known as the Athereum. But not everyone in her ragtag crew is on her side, and as the truth behind the heist unfolds, Arthie finds herself in the midst of a conspiracy that will threaten the world as she knows it. Dark, action-packed, and swoon-worthy, this is Hafsah Faizal better than ever.

Things We Lost in the Fire by Mariana Enriquez

In these wildly imaginative, devilishly daring tales of the macabre, internationally bestselling author Mariana Enriquez brings contemporary Argentina to vibrant life as a place where shocking inequality, violence, and corruption are the law of the land, while the military dictatorship and legions of desaparecidos loom large in the collective memory. In these stories, reminiscent of Shirley Jackson and Julio Cortázar, three young friends distract themselves with drugs and pain in the midst of a government-enforced blackout; a girl with nothing to lose steps into an abandoned house and never comes back out; to protest a viral form of domestic violence, a group of women set themselves on fire.

But alongside the black magic and disturbing disappearances, these stories are fueled by compassion for the frightened and the lost, ultimately bringing these characters—mothers and daughters, husbands and wives—int a surprisingly familiar reality. Written in hypnotic prose that gives grace to the grotesque, Things We Lost in the Fire is a powerful exploration of what happens when our darkest desires are left to roam unchecked, and signals the arrival of an astonishing and necessary voice in contemporary fiction.

The Spirit Bares Its Teeth by Andrew Joseph White

Mors vincit omnia. Death conquers all.

London, 1883. The Veil between the living and dead has thinned. Violet-eyed mediums commune with spirits under the watchful eye of the Royal Speaker Society, and sixteen-year-old trans, autistic Silas Bell would rather rip out his violet eyes than become an obedient Speaker Wife.

After a failed attempt to escape an arranged marriage, Silas is diagnosed with Veil sickness—a mysterious disease sending violet-eyed women into madness—and shipped away to Braxton’s Finishing School and Sanitorium. When the ghosts of missing students start begging Silas for help, he decides to reach into Braxton’s innards and expose its guts to the world—so long as the school doesn’t break him first.

Featuring an autistic trans protagonist in a historical setting, Andrew Joseph White’s much-anticipated sophomore novel does not back down from exposing the violence of the patriarchy and the harm inflicted on trans youth who are forced into conformity.

Gold Diggers by Sanjena Sathian

A magical realist coming-of-age story, Gold Diggers skewers the model minority myth to tell a hilarious and moving story about immigrant identity, community, and the underside of ambition.

A floundering second-generation teenager growing up in the Bush-era Atlanta suburbs, Neil Narayan is funny and smart but struggles to bear the weight of expectations of his family and their Asian American enclave. He tries to want their version of success, but mostly, Neil just wants his neighbor across the cul-de-sac, Anita Dayal.

When he discovers that Anita is the beneficiary of an ancient, alchemical potion made from stolen gold—a “lemonade” that harnesses the ambition of the gold’s original owner—Neil sees his chance to get ahead. But events spiral into a tragedy that rips their community their community apart. Years later in the Bay Area, Neil still bristles against his community’s expectations—and finds he might need one more hit of that lemonade, no matter the cost.

Sanjena Sathian’s astonishing debut offers a fine-grained, profoundly intelligent, and bitingly funny investigation into what’s required to make it in America.

Inkheart by Cornelia Funke

One cruel night, Meggie’s father reads aloud from a brook called INKHEART—and an evil ruler escapes the boundaries of fiction and lands in their living room. Suddenly, Meggie is smack in the middle of the kind of adventure she has only read about in books. Meggie must learn to harness the magic that has conjured this nightmare. For only she can change the course of the story that has changed her life forever. This is INKHEART—a timeless tale about books, about imagination, about life. Dare to read it aloud.

A Lady’s Guide to Mischief and Mayhem by Manda Collins

The widowed Lady Katherine Bascomb has little use for the rules of society—instead, she engages in such “vulgar” activities as managing The London Gazette and writing about crimes against women. But when her latest article leads to a suspicious arrest, the attractive detective in charge of the case is incensed that she’s interfered with his investigation. Only before Kate can make amends, she stumbles, quite literally, upon another murder entirely.

Detective Inspector Andrew Eversham is appalled that Kate is entangled in one of his cases—again. Yet when he asks her to kindly keep away, Kate offers a bargain: She’ll refrain from writing about the case—if he allows her to study his methods. Before long, Eversham can’t deny his attraction to both her beauty and brains. But with a killer lurking in the shadows, will they learn to trust their instincts, each other, and the undeniable passion that is blossoming between them before it’s too late?