#complicated thoughts about the whole crossover but this was hilarious

[maggiecheungs]

[chrysalis-the-butterfly]

How was your Helluva Boss watch?

It was pretty neat! Thanks for asking!

Here's a list of the stuff I liked:

Moxxie and Millie's marriage is cute! I'm a sucker for fictional married couples who are sickeningly adorable and genuinely care for each other rather than arguing all the time.

I think I might have an autistic headcanon for Moxxie? It was the bit where he started infodumping to Millie's parents that did it for me.

There were plenty of lines of dialogue that made me splutter because I wasn't expecting them to be so hilarious.

The part of the interrogation scene where Moxxie intelligently explains why torture is a bad interrogation tactic and Blitzo adds that the demons might enjoy the torture too much and then the agents would have a whole other set of problems on their hands lives in my head rent-free for some reason.

While I'm not sure I want Stolitz to become canon, I will admit that their complicated relationship is interesting to watch. The childhood flashback episode had some cute moments. And I'm fascinated by the changes that Stolas has undergone over the course of the series. I'm glad he's not as creepy as he was at the start.

(I prefer Owling at the Moon over Stolitz, which is probably why I don't want Stolitz to become canon. Imagine if Loona and Octavia started dating and Blitzo and Stolas became the awkward in-laws. I'd like watching that play out!)

Fizzmodeus intrigues me. I wasn't sure about that ship at first, but they do seem to have a cute thing going on. Watching Asmodeus trying to help Fizzarolli after his panic attack was unexpected. I've not really seen stuff like that in the fiction I've encountered.

I came across a Hellaverse crossover fanfic where Angel Dust meets Asmodeus and I thought it was well-written. (You can read it here if you're interested. But given the two main characters are the King of Lust and a porn star, it's very much NSFW, so don't look if you're a minor.)

And here's a list of the stuff I wasn't keen on:

The show was supposed to be about a team of demonic assassins taking out targets on Earth, but it seems to have abandoned that premise rather quickly to focus on exploring side characters and fleshing out the worldbuilding in Hell. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the worldbuilding (certainly more than I would have enjoyed the gory killings) - it just bothers me that the show starts with a premise and then forgets it. At least in Hazbin Hotel, the themes of redemption and second chances are almost always present, even if the Hotel itself isn't getting much focus. By contrast, what does Fizzarolli's clown career have to do with assassinating humans?

The sound mixing on the songs bothered me. Most of the time, the dialogue is loud and clear, but when a song starts, the voices go really quiet for some reason and the instrumentation drowns them out and I can't hear what they're singing. It's as if the show keeps coming down with a bad case of Sonic Adventure 2 sound mixing.

I wish Loona was treated better by the narrative. She seems very underdeveloped to me, and I'd love to see an episode or two focusing on her and giving her time to shine. (And more of her hanging out with Octavia. That'd be neat.)

They got Barrett Wilbert Weed to voice Octavia and they haven't let her sing a song yet?! I've heard her Heathers and Mean Girls stuff! She's a good singer! Don't let her go to waste!

So, as you can see, I do have some quibbles with the series, but overall, I had fun!

I am now finally watching Hazbin Hotel properly (hooray!), and I prefer that show over Helluva Boss. The characters resonate with me more, and the songs stand out to me more. But I still enjoyed checking out Helluva Boss!

[thevindicativevordan]

Any thoughts on Rebirth era of Superman?

Short answer is that it brought me back to the character after I had stopped reading, due to an unending stream of low quality crossovers derailing everything. The long answer is more complicated.

Tomasi's Superman run is like a Yin-Yang symbol. First half is all good except for one bad arc. The back half is all terrible except for the finale. First half does a great job of balancing the wholesome family vibes with horror and action to keep the tension high. Yes you got Jon Kent as a cute kid - Jurgens may have been Jon's father but Tomasi was his daddy in terms of fleshing him out, the Jonathan Kent to Jurgens Jor-El - but Tomasi really put the kid through hell. He accidentally kills his own cat with heat vision, and boy were some people butthurt about that. Personally I loved it, events like that sold me on the struggle of raising a kid who has Superman's powers but not Superman's control.

Jon had a lot of fire and spunk to him, not as much of Lois as I liked (I still firmly believe he should be a Spider-Man type shit talker because of Lois, not a "I know you're better than this" like his dad), but him slugging Damian was a hoot. Tomasi's Clark for the most part was fine, he got that Clark could be an angry dude like when Clark was ready to kick Bruce and Damian's asses after they kidnapped Jon, but Tomasi's Clark was usually pretty flat and Jon was the clear main character. The weirdness of Hamilton simmering under the surface that culminated in Black Dawn was great, like Stranger Things before Stranger Things. Kathy and Jon were cute together. Oh and Tomasi writes a great Manchester Black, that scene of Black freezing Supes heat vision midair to light a cig then sending it back in his face? Hilarious! That his master plan involved trying to corrupt Jon into being the Superman he wanted made sense, and fit with the run's focus on Clark attempting to guide his son into becoming a hero.

The bad arc for the first half was Multiplicity, terrible story with boring filler art. I defy any of you to tell me who the big bad of that story was without looking it up. A multiversal Supermen team up should've been one of the standout arcs, but instead it became a precursor to the back half of the run. Whenever Tomasi tried to focus on just Clark, he clearly didn't have much to say, and the whole story ended up as a weird tangent that went nowhere and never amounted to anything.

After Black Dawn however, we got months of boring filler where Supes clashed with Sinestro and went on a vacation to D.C. with Jon and Lois where Tomasi unleashed his inner boomer to complain about kids not respecting the troops enough. Imperius Lex was a lame way to wrap up the SuperLex storyline, that should've come as a result of Lex refusing to accept that there are lines heroes don't cross because his ego won't accept anything bigger than his own wants. What should have unfolded as a slow disillusionment on Lex's part over the limitations being a hero in the Superman mold places on him, instead became a rushed arc where Lex rage quits because Supes doesn't trust him enough. Thankfully the finale was strong, the Bizarroverse arc was great, Tomasi found that balance of humor, wholesomeness, action, and horror right at the end. Scene where Bizarro bails on his son hit hard for me, and all of the Bizarros were funny to read. Issue 45 where the Kents leave Hamilton hit hard even though I was ready for a change.

Jurgens Action meanwhile was mostly mediocre. Only two arcs stand out in my memory, one good, one awful. The good one was the Godslayers arc where Jurgens amusingly did a better job of handling the Civil War 2 premise than his soon-to-be successor Bendis did. A nice story about Supes grappling with his distaste and distrust of Lex vs. his want to believe Lex can actually change. The other arc solidified Jurgens as the worst Zod writer for me, it's the Booster Gold one right before Action 1000. He loves MoS so why the hell does he insist on writing Zod as only being able to scream KNEEL instead of going with the much more nuanced Shannon portrayal? I am a fan of evil family man Zod though, kudos to Jurgens for that. Other big problem is that the Booster Gold arc is all about Gold stopping Supes from going back and changing things because he needs to accept that the past is the past... except when Lois, Jon, and Sam all get killed while Superman is away, then Gold goes back in time and prevents their deaths without any acknowledgement of how hypocritical that is! It's feebly justified by Gold with Supes already giving up so much (which I guess amounts to Gold being ok with time travel changes if the scale is small enough), but come on Jurgens, way to undermine your very own story! Jurgens Lois & Clark mini remains his best post-Triangle Era Superman work imo.

Of the two major crossovers, Super Sons of Tomorrow was awful while Superman Reborn managed the impressive feat of making none of Superman's origins canon (because Johns dragging his feet with Doomsday Clock meant they couldn't recanonize the Legion of Superheroes), but at least Gleason and Mahkne's art was great. Last time Mxy got to play a major role in anything, and I remain amused that Jurgens of all people ended up using Mxy for a similar purpose to what the Superman 2000 crew wanted to do to his era. Man got the last laugh on Morrison, using Mxy to wipe out New 52 Superman until Morrison and PKJ folded some of that era's ideas back in.

By the end Rebirth was in the same spot the New 52 was where I welcomed another change. Some good ideas - namely Jon, Kenan and the Reborn suit (God I miss that suit) - came out of this era and for that I am thankful. But it's not the ideal era for me the way it is for some, and nostalgia has made people forget that it often stumbled in the same way the New 52 did.

[usuallydeepcoffee]

Hii welcome back on this hellsite! 💕💞

I humbly ask all of your opinions about Succession.

Hii anon! I've never left, just RL taking up most of my energy!

Oh boy, my feelings about Succession. I've been following it religiously since season 2 and it's delicious fucking food. But it's also, complex fucking food so idk if I can put into words how I feel about everything. Anyway, here's a few thoughts.

Outside of the Roy siblings, I like/feel bad for Willa? She's in a golden cage of her own making, she even reaches that point where you think that's it, she's gonna run for it, multiple times, but then she never really breaks free (and I do think Con, even on a subconscious level, does manipulate her into staying). Tragic, just like the sibs.

Gerri-Frank-Karl is a top-tier trio. I know that people who root for the Roy sibs usually hate them but c'mon. Also, the more I work, the more I feel for Gerri and Frank.

I am a basic bitch: I'm a Kendall girlie, sorry. Something about him being awkward and cringy the one who's made multiple attempts at breaking off his father's cycle of abuse but at the same time craving his love just screams babygirl. Lmao can't wait to see if he manages to break the cycle once and for all by dying or if he ends up becoming what he hates most. Both make sense dramaturgically. Either way, I'm team Kendall.

For the longest time, I couldn't warm up to Roman (I still haven't forgiven the whole dangling a mil in front of that kid playing baseball. First impressions and everything). I like him a bit more this season. Plus, the whole dick-pick accident was hilarious.

I really liked the way Tom and Shiv would gossip about everyone like a pair of mean girls, pre-betrayal/divorce. And I love how complicated this divorce is. I feel run over by a train every time those two interact.

Idk, give everyone an Oscar and a Nobel prize. It's really a one of a kind show. Everything just works. The score, the writing, the cinematography. It's like watching those Chinese athletes taking perfect dive after perfect dive. 10 10 10.

Handwritten addendum:

Because the Steve Rogers brainrot runs that deep, do not think for a second that I haven't thought about an mcu/succession crossover.

Greg??

[1-800-scaryphone]

also on the note of crossovers i have more thought on the d.esu one i mentioned the other day (im so sorry skhfjdh)

i'm gonna go over both games bc the first one has some vibes to it too but here we go!

ok so the gist of BOTH games is that the world is in the midst of an apocalypse (both of which are caused by demons), and the only hope of salvation for humanity is to kinda "reboot" the world. in devil s.urvivor 1, it's very heavy on religious themes, and not only can you become godly and save the world THAT way, but you can defy god and literally become a demon king. it's a good game.

in the second game, you literally reboot the world however you see fit, which - in-game - separates your party into several "alignments," because none of them can agree on how they want the new world to be.

so! i kinda wanna talk abt where d.ialtown characters would fall on these alignments, since i just think it's Inchresting. i really wish there was a quiz or something for this. maybe i'll make one someday

D.ESU1

the first game has several alignments, divided into the holy, unholy, and three OTHER solutions to save the world that don't involve the protagonist literally becoming a saint or demon.

Kingdom of Saints

just like it sounds, this is the "holy" ending, where you use the power you've accrued throughout the game to become a saint/godly figure who can control the demons and send em back from whence they came.

i feel like it goes without saying that norm would encourage this route. i also think it'd be really funny if this was a "d.ietown" scenario, so gingi going through all these steps while assuming god is dead only to literally BECOME a godly figure (and probably meet god and have him be like "what the FUCK happened") is really funny. also, obviously, were callum in gingi's position, this would be the route he'd go for. that god complex i s2g

karen might also be part of this one just bc she is SUCH a warlord against demons in d.ietown

King of Demons

the "unholy" ending, in which you use the power you've accrued to rule over the demons...as a fellow demon.

the protagonist in d.esu1 has his cousin encourage him to go this route, but i think gingi could fully go this way on their own, considering that they're literally a demon in d.ietown. i also like to think that stabby and shooty would be part of this route, since, yknow, demons. they'd probably try to get gingi to make them their demonic underlings so they could be super powerful.

Desperate Escape

in this ending, you literally just escape the city (which has been barricaded so that no demons escape) and put the whole world in jeopardy iirc.

selfish as they are, this is definitely something gingi would do. depending on the scenario, i think randy might be the one to encourage this ending too, since he is just cowardly enough to do it.

Silent Revolution

in this ending, the protagonist is able to pacify the demons by using their accrued power, and the world as a whole uses demons and their power to advance modern society. in order to do all of that, they also need to "hack the planet," etc etc.

i can say, without a doubt, this would be oliver's route of choice. a way to solve the problem without changing yourself, and a way that uses his technical know-how, at that.

Song of Hope

in this ending, the protagonist is able to drive off the demons by using music (in a complicated way i won't get into rn).

hilariously enough, i think this would probably be a route that you get into with nathan h.anover, because "music"...

D.ESU 2

the original alignments i wanted to make this post about. god this is so fun to think about.

Meritocracy

a world in which the strong eat the weak, basically. you have to work to prove yourself to the powers that be, and if you aren't strong enough, you fuckin DIE. the world is ruled by those who are stronger, better, etc, and the people who "deserve it" thrive.

imo, this sounds like EXACTLY the sort of society mingus would try to build.

Egalitarian

an "equal" society; everyone is treated equally, given an equal share, has equal talents. peaceful to its core.

despite all the shit i give callum, this would be the society he would back. remember: the dial-up was supposed to HELP. he was so passionate about it because he wanted to help society thrive, to help those who had been disabled, just like him. despite all the "bad" that came out of it, he had GOOD intentions.

Restoration

bring the world back to the way it was before, before the apocalypse ever happened...though there is no guarantee it won't happen AGAIN.

with this also sort of being the "coward's way out" (i'm so sorry d.aichi i love you), reverting to a time that might inevitably doom the world all over again, i feel like this would be a randy route.

Liberation

free humanity as a whole from the looming threat of the septentriones (the entities/aliens/what have you that are currently attacking the world and throwing it into an apocalypse), and from the possibility that the "end" will come again. humanity is free, albeit at the cost of how FUCKED the world became during the apocalypse.

a norm route to its core. fight for your freedom and prove humanity's worth. i could also see oliver backing him on this one (boys gettin on!)

A Brand New World

hey, so what if we said "fuck the septentriones" and ALSO gave ourselves a whole new world to work with? humanity gets to be free, and it also gets to thrive on an earth that isn't completely dead. sounds nice.

this is a sort of "unlockable" route in-game, but i can completely see all of the dateables supporting it, so yay! i think it'd be really fucking funny if by some sort of irony, god was the one to propose the idea too. just "fuck it, i'll give you a new planet if you can pull this off"

there's also endings for record breaker but no i won't get into them, i've talked too long akjfkshfs. thank you for coming to my ted talk

[kiraziwrites]

j/b 2021 fic exchange recs

Okay, reveals are almost upon us and I’ve read half or fewer of the exchange fics, but here are my favorites—from the main collection, I’ll do another post for Lil Oathkeepers—so far. There’s a lot of great stuff out there, but some of these are not getting nearly as much attention as they deserve, so don’t sleep on:

something different

My utterly GLORIOUS and PERFECT gift fic, which is, among other things, a brilliant character study of Brienne’s gender feels, a post-canon reconciliation fix-it that made me sigh with emotion, and a tour-de-force of the best kind of scorching hot smut—the kind that uses the sex to illuminate and expand our understanding of the people having it and the relationship between them. And there’s pegging, to boot. I have been so blessed!

show me where your skin begins

I do not even know where to BEGIN describing this incredible enemies-to-lovers space AU with bonus extremely hot-and-tender bondage. I would read a whole novel set in this universe; the worldbuilding is rich and the plot is compelling and the romance hits all my favorite notes for these two and did I mention it’s also incredibly hot? and tender? tl;dr I am in awe and have publicly challenged the author to a duel.

in the dark, i thought i saw you

A beautifully angsty S7 canon divergence where the sept explosion is the breaking point for Jaime, and both he and Brienne end up in King’s Landing afterwards as captives of a slowly crumbling Cersei, who in turn finds herself unexpectedly drawn to Brienne. The J/B arc is wonderful, but but the great achievement here is one of the best takes on Cersei I've ever read. 

electric boogaloo

An unusual fantasy AU with stunning worldbuilding, clever structure, and some lovely, vigorous prose—plus the atmosphere between Brienne and Jaime is quite literally electric.

Respect

This is a story about how much Jaime enjoys watching Brienne beat the crap out of men who don’t respect her—a premise I naturally find delightful—but it’s also a striking bit of character work, and the writing is excellent.

Second Hand News

I’ve always wanted more fic focusing on how Jaime and Brienne’s relationship developed in the journey from Harrenhal back to King’s Landing, and this missing scene focused on how they react to the news of the Red Wedding really delivers—it’s sad and tender and evokes their growing intimacy beautifully.

however long the night, the dawn will break again

A short but surprisingly capacious story of Jaime and Brienne as undercover agents in a wartime occupied Westeros—I’m astonished by how much story this manages to fit into 3.5K words, and it’s vivid and hot and full of yearning.

safe

A very sexy, exquisitely-written, exes-to-lovers TRAIN HEIST story, with loads of competence kink and a compressed slow burn that finally ignites to exhilarating effect. Just delightful, and I loved the bonus introduction to safecracking 101.

Ding Dong Ditch, Baby

An accidental baby acquisition—the baby is of the nephew variety—fic that delivers both hilarious hijinks and surprising emotional depths. this feels like a classic screwball comedy, but also the beginning of a tender romance.

ain’t no one in this room alone

You might not think a Ted Lasso/Game of Thrones crossover could work, but this story is here to prove you as wrong as anyone who ever doubted a Ted, or a Brienne (and it’s very funny to boot, with some delightfully clever choices made in meshing these worlds together).

with all the years between us 

I SWORE I wasn’t going to start reading this while it was still a WIP, despite the premise being basically catnip to me—a S8 fixit with slow reconciliation and political marriage and complicated family dynamics—but I gave in and inhaled all of the existing chapters today. It’s even better than I’d hoped.

[chaoticornot]

These are my thoughts about almost every episode from s2. This is chaotic, so be prepared. From 911 lonestar. It’s long.

Tk thinking Buck is flirting with him is hilarious.I love their friendship but Tk grabbed his boob. He was like, I feel vibes. Buck is a flirt but in love with Eddie. His confused puppy look. I love how Buck was like, we are taking yours because otherwise, Bobby would kill me. And I saw that caress from Eddie. Like he dragged his hand along Bucks lower back. Judd and Eddie's friendship. People thinking that Buck is a creep is hilarious because that man cannot be subtle to save his life. Yes, Hen. I am convinced we need more awesome Hen moments. I need another crossover where Maddie and Grace meet, Carlos meets the boys, and Bobby meets Owen. S02ep3

Grace, have you done this before?? Omg, this woman. My mouth hung open, omg. She is a dom, oh hell. She was like, oh, you wanna me humiliated, here you go. The number of plot twists in this episode, holy cow. Good, for Marjan, for establishing boundaries. Owen, no, you went from 0-100, and nobody needs that. But I certainly wasn't expecting a baby, oh god. And All I can think about is Tks reaction. Tk meeting Carlos's parents was awesome, but a disaster. I love that they talked out after, like adults. They learned something. Jealous Carlos activated. It had the same energy as, and I'm packing a piece. S02e04

Kinda mad that they didn't tell TK yet, especially now that they are going to keep the baby. I love how they all love Mateo, like their younger brother. It is so cute. I love Grace and Judd, and it's such a complicated situation, but I hope that they will be alright. I can't handle them breaking up. S02e05

That was the wrong thing to say. I am going to be a father. Man, you are a father to the person that is sitting in front of you, that just became your power of attorney. The fuck, and he got away with it. I love that Paul got to reconnect with his sister, but it was not his responsibility to explain everything to her when they were young. He was a child too. I love that Tk is maybe going to be a paramedic. I think that's really great. And the hey little brother at the end was adorable. S02e06

Well, apparently, the baby is not Owen's. Yeah, I need TK reaction. Why so complicated? And I think I missed Enzo. I love that Tk realized he was wrong and did something about it, something meaningful. Boyfriend snuggles. S02e07

I am so proud of TK and how Carlos looks at him, aww. He was blushing. They should have told him. I am also proud of Carlos. You did good. I have mixed feelings about his dad. Carlos's fond look when Gwynn and Owen were arguing, aww. And Judd and Grace Kids are gonna rock the world, especially Grace's DNA. Thanks for the cliffhanger, though. S02e08

Grace and Judd are the cutest and the best. I love them. I love this episode. And they are pregnant, omg. That's awesome. Still can't stand Grace's father, though. He is such a hypocrite. He made Judd work for going out with Grace but cheats on his wife. Grace has always been awesome. How she handles that convo in the hospital with Judd, like you, are a dumbass, but I love you, so I guess it's okay. S02e09

Poor Mateo, you are a smart cookie, though. They are moving in together, omg. The blender help. Tk eyes are so green in that light. He did need that ass-kicking. Poor buttercup glad he is okay. Carlos called him Owen. I love that the whole episode came together at the end. S02e10

I am kinda scared for this episode. Oh god. And I just looked it up and saw that Billy is coming back. Who thought of that??? The fuck, noo, why would you bring him back. Out of all characters, why Billy. If you cant tell, I hate that man. Owen, how can you be so dumb. Dinner with parents, aww. Poor Marjan. S02e11

This was a rollercoaster. I did not expect the scam/undercover thing or, that it was that cop. It really got hot for TK, and Carlos didn't it? I'm sorry. Them fighting breaks my heart. The hug and the kisses, aww. How Judd pulls TK close at the end, aww. The banter. Go, Judd, for being an awesome friend and Grace who is so grounded. I don't hate Billy anymore, but I still don't like him. Oh no, Charles. How Owen realized at the table, like oh shit. S02e12

So, he is dead. I feel so bad for Tommy. She should tell the girls, but I get that she wants the wait until she knows what happened. Godparents Grace and Judd, whoop. Not Owen and the doctor. I knew it was him that was gonna find her. How they found out is heartbreaking. Of course, there is a hostage situation, again. The team get together, aww. So cute. S02e13

I love that the binders came out. Poor Mateo, you are allowed to punch them in the face from me. The sad eyes, god TK, is good at those, omg. Bamf Mateo, whoop whoop. Awwwww, adorable, right? This exchange and their heart eyes, love me some Nancy and TK friendship. Babysitter Carlos to the rescue. Of course, Owen goes out searching. You tell them, Mateo, go, babe. Paramedic appreciation, their cheering, aww. That last scene was awesome. The girls running to Carlos, I wish we had Tk's reaction to that. Buttercup is so cute. That scene is so wholesome. I am reminded now why I hate Billy. You go, Owen, and you should. Btw, how TK is standing with the shovel, help. S01e14

In season 2, Owen was so out of character sometimes or just weird. I love  Carlos and Tk's relationship development. More info about the other characters, yay. I am a bit scared for season 3 because I have some spoilers, but we are just going to do it. Should I wait until every episode is out or just start now? 

On another note, I am so excited for season 5b but also scared because Eddie looks broken.

[heloflor]

They’re gay, Orton

AO3 Link

“Hey ! Don’t do that ! I don’t have a time machine to go back and un-die you.”

“And if you get hurt, I don’t have one either !”

“Aww. That was touching.”

Note : Just a little drabble I wanted to make because, when I think of the crossover, it never fails to make me laugh to see Orton comment on how cute Cavendish and Dakota are with each other, only to make Doctor Zone and Time Ape brothers in his show. Orton is a guy from the 60s with no gaydar whatsoever and I find this hilarious. On that same note, I also went back to see how Time Ape is described in “The Doctor Zone Files” and it’s pretty interesting how he’s a “transchronological being” who chose his current form. So this fic is a very short thing that covers both these ideas.

Despite what the title and summary may indicate, this fic takes place when the group of adults just got stuck into the timestream and is more focused on Cavendish and Dakota than Orton (making titles and summaries is hard, alright).

(And regarding something in the fic, yes I know Dakota knows the word “peculiar”, as we see in “School Dance” for example; but I wanted to make a “Dakota doesn’t know complicated words” moment for once.)

This fic also goes into the direction of what I wrote last time, with Cavendish and Dakota being married but hiding their relationship due to homophobia from the past.

Enjoy !

Vinnie was bored.

He didn’t know how long they’ve been stuck in the time-stream, he didn’t know if there even was a point of wondering it. But what he knew is that he wasn’t going to be able to just sit there in silence for much longer. He needed some form of stimulation. Something, anything that could busy his mind.

He looked at the man facing him. Balth was messing with their intercommunicator, surely in an attempt to get them out of here.

“Hey.”, Vinnie tried to get his attention.

“One moment. I’m trying something.”, the taller man grumbled, getting more and more frustrated with the device.

Vinnie sighed. “Maybe I should just sing the zoo song.”, he murmured.

“Please don’t.”

“Why not ?”

“I don’t want to spend all eternity listening to the same two verses.”, his husband explained, putting the communicator away.

“Aw come on ! It’s a good song !”, Vinnie playfully replied. Balth didn’t budge and only looked more annoyed. “Besides, it makes me happy. Unlike the way a certain someone just keeps complaining.”, he continued playfully.

“Hmph.”, Vinnie immediately regretted his words as he noticed the hurt in Balth’s eyes along with the anger he was conveying.

“Hey, I’m sorry.”, he took Balth’s hand in his. “Y-you know I didn’t mean it like that. I don’t hate it when you complain. Well, it’s a tad annoying…but you get the point.”, he shrugged.

His husband nodded, making it clear that he understood. His eyes, however, kept looking between their joined hands and the man sitting next to Vinnie. Orton was scribbling again, stopping for a second to give the pair a glance before going back to his writing, only to freeze and look at the two again.

“Something on your mind ?”, Vinnie couldn’t help but ask the man.

“Oh. I’m sorry.”, Orton replied, almost looking like a child who was caught eavesdropping. “It’s just that the two of you have such a peculiar relationship.”

“Pecu-what ?”, the shorter man asked.

“Peculiar.”, Balth explained with an eye-roll. “It means strange but fascinating.”, the taller man turned his attention to the future TV star. “What makes you say such a thing ?”

“It’s the way you two act.”, Orton explained. “Since I’ve met you earlier, you kept arguing about anything and everything. But you always manage to keep working with each other and get along, as if all those arguments never happened at all.”

“Huh. I guess we do argue a lot.”, Vinnie commented while glancing at his husband with a smile. The taller man, however, was still focused on the other man. And was it just Vinnie, or did Balth looked tense, almost afraid ?

“It’s funny to see such a friendship.”, Orton continued. “It’s like the two of you were brothers.”

“B-brothers ?!”, Balth spluttered.

Vinnie couldn’t help but chuckle at the idea, not helped by Balthazar’s reaction. In all his years of time-travel, he and Balth had been called a lot of things. But acting like brothers ? As in biological brothers and not brothers in arms ? From someone less than two centuries away from their time-period ? That was new. Vinnie had to admit, he would never stop being surprised by how oblivious people could be in the past, no matter how close to his present they were.

“Actually,”, Vinnie decided to correct. “we’re marr-“

“Yes, just like brothers !”, Balth interrupted, laughing awkwardly. Vinnie could only frown as the taller man silenced him with his hand. “After everything we’ve been through so much together, it’s like we always knew each other !”

“Yeah.”, the shorter man grumpily continued after removing Balth’s hand from his face. “And you should really tell your wife how great of a brother in-law she has.”, Vinnie tried to keep a relaxed tone, though he couldn’t help but glare at the man.

Balth returned his glare but stayed silent. From the corner of his eye, Vinnie could see his husband playing with his ring, his fingers slowly rubbing the metal.

“Can any of you help me with this ?”, Professor Time suddenly interrupted. He and his platypus friend were trying to push one of the cabinets of the time-machine.

“I can help !”, Orton replied as he stood up.

Once the other men were all out of earshot, the remaining pair had the same thought. Balth grabbed Vinnie’s arm and their face came closer.

“This man is from the 60s.”, Balth half-shouted half-whispered. “We can’t just go around telling him about our relationship !”

“He’s a nice guy !”, Vinnie argued.

“Just because he’s helping us now doesn’t mean he will be fine with two men liking each other !”

“But what if he does ? And if he doesn’t, so what ? He sees us as his friends. If he cares for us, he can realize that there’s nothing wrong with it and that we’re just normal people ! And what if he doesn’t think about it because it’s not a thing for him ? Because that doesn’t mean he’s against it !”

“Dakota.”, Balth took a deep breath, seemingly deflating. “Listen. The world is in grave danger. We might be the only people left who aren’t plants. If we tell Orton about us, we might cause a divide in the group. And we can’t afford that right now !”, after a quick look at the taco stand, he took Vinnie’s hand in his, gently rubbing it with his thumb. “We need to keep our relationship a secret from everyone. This is the safest thing we can do, especially with what’s happening right now. We simply cannot risk it.”

“…”, Vinnie sighed. “I hate it when you’re right about this.”, he pulled away, crossing his arms. “Alright, I won’t tell him. But that doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it.”

“I don’t expect you to be.”, his husband replied with a more compassionate tone.

When Orton came back to the table, he looked at the pair curiously but didn’t make any comment. He simply sat back, his head on the table. And that was the end of it.

Vinnie was still feeling a bit angry. If there was one thing he couldn’t stand about his marriage, it was the need to hide it just because of what some people might do to him. To Balth. But at least he learnt to live with this lie. And Balth was much more affectionate when they were in the present, making the whole thing bearable.

…And now that this entire talk was done, and with the two men at the table having the same idea to try sleeping, he yet again found himself with nothing to do but be bored.

  -----

After what felt like forever, they finally got their hands on some time juice. Thanks to the strange way the time-stream worked, the group somehow found the moment Vinnie got the clocks into it. Now they were almost on their way to 1965, waiting for Professor Time to fuel his time-machine.

“We are finally going to have a chance to get rid of those pistachios once and for all.”, Balth said not without relief, echoing Vinnie’s thoughts.

“Yeah.”, the shorter man replied. “And it’s about time too. If we’d have stayed stuck here several days, I would’ve started running out of those.”, forgetting about the time-period of the people around him, he took his testosterone doses out of his pocket.

“Since when do you carry those with you ?”, Balth commented.

“For a while now, in case it runs out.”, Vinnie elbowed his husband. “Looks like you’re starting to rub off on me.”

“It’s about time.”, the taller man replied with a small smile.

“Wait.”, Professor Time suddenly interrupted, the time-juice container in hand. “Why do you need to take hormones ?”, the professor gasped. “Does that mean you’re-! Wow, the future must have great surgeons, I never would’ve guessed !”

“Thanks.”, Vinnie couldn’t help but chuckle. While the man with the annoying voice definitely wasn’t the portrait he made of the great hero who invented time-travel, there was still some pride in seeing the great Professor Time compliment him.

“They sure do.”, Balth replied as well, putting a hand on Vinnie’s shoulder. Whether it was in jealousy from seeing his hero compliment someone else or in protection due to what the professor may have grown up to believe about men like him, Vinnie couldn’t tell.

“Wait. What are you referring to ?”, Orton asked.

“Oh. Uhhh.”, Vinnie and Balth shared a look, and the shorter man didn’t miss how his husband immediately tensed. But now that the TV star heard, it would be rude not to answer him. “H-how to explain it simply…”

“Just do it like you were telling it to a child.”, Balth suggested in a lower voice. “You like children, right ?”

“Yeah. Yeah ok. Alright.”, Vinnie cleared his throat, his attention back on Orton, a man who was definitely not like a child. He felt Balth let go of him. Not helping, he mentally grumbled. “You see…when-when I was a kid…let’s just say I didn’t look like I do know. I mean, of course I grew up and changed but, ahem. Look, let’s just say that, when I was born, I wasn’t born a boy. I-I looked like a girl.”

“You were born a girl ?!”, despite his tone, Orton looked more fascinated than repulsed.

“Noooot exactly. I always was a boy. But when I was a kid, I, well I guess it was like I was trapped in a girl’s body. Everyone thought I was a girl, and for a while, I thought I did too. But I always wanted to look more like my brother. I often tried to wear his clothes and do things like him.”, Vinnie found himself smile at the memory. It was such a long time ago…”Eventually, I realized that I was a boy. So when I became a teenager, my oldest brother made sure I grew up like one. And here I am now.”

“So you were born with a different body, like a woman’s body, but chose to become a man ?”

“I wouldn’t say I chose but, yeah I guess that’s the main idea.”, Vinnie shrugged.

“Fascinating. I’m not sure I understand everything about it but…”, the TV star started writing in his notepad again. Vinnie hoped it didn’t mean bad news for him.

“You don’t have to understand it.”, Balth interrupted, his hand back on his husband’s shoulder. “The only thing to understand is that Dakota is a man, in both mind and body.”

“Oh you sure would know that.~”, the shorter man couldn’t help but joke, earning a glare from the taller man.

“Alright gang !”, Professor Time interjected as he got back to the counter. “The time-juice is in. And this time, we’ll have enough to go in and out. 1965, here we come !”

Note : For those curious about my headcanons : Dakota has three siblings, two brothers and one sister. Also the brother mentioned for the clothes is two years older than Vinnie, which is mostly why Vinnie went to him to get some clothes since it wouldn’t be that big on him. Also also, Vinnie is the youngest of the siblings (he’s the baby bro and he sometimes “hates” it, mostly because he has no-one to tease/coddle like the other three do, especially the two oldest).

This is the first time I not only write about a trans character but also made the fact that they’re trans be a subject of discussion; so I hope I did ok on that front.

And speaking of which, for those wondering about that too : I don’t see Heinz as a trans man. He’s definitely a crossdresser, and I completely understand why people see him as trans, but personally, I don’t really see it. So him being completely fine with Vinnie is less about him being able to relate and more about him being a decent person.

And one last thing : yes, Vinnie “””“”fully””””” transitioned. Hence the “both in mind and body” part (and my god does this sound transphobic when said like that…and that’s coming from someone who’s enby and wants to transition to male). So while I doubt that I’ll ever mention what Dakota has in his pants, don’t expect me to write something in which he falls pregnant or is able to.

Thanks for reading !

[red-winters]

*Batfam fic-recs

*Some are Tim Drake Centric

**Some links are not working in mobile (and ONLY mobile) for some reason? And some titles that were bolded in the original post are ALSO not displaying on mobile correctly. Idk what to do about that, but you can still look up the fic, I guess.

The Bat’s Crest - livierambles

Note: I will always keep recommending this fic. It’s epic, thrilling, and hilarious and sometimes angsty. Also, everyone is confused, including the ones doing the confusing. Maybe especially the ones doing the confusing. Also, some Tim and Damian bonding, which is always nice.

Summary: Tragedy strikes the hero community when Bruce Wayne commits a crime so heinous even the best start asking for blood. However, as the heroes try to recover from the hit and carry out justice for their friends, a random assortment of people start acting oddly, including the current Speedy Tim Drake, a child hostage in Gotham, and a young man from an unremarkable circus amongst others. All of them seem intent on saving Bruce Wayne from the grasp of the Justice League for no apparent reason, going as far as betraying their previous allegiances.

Unknown to the Justice League, these people are equally confused. Clearly they're stuck in another dimension, but how do they get back? How did they even get here? Who else is stuck in this world? And how long will Tim's patience last? Back home, the Bat was a planetary symbol that struck fear in the hearts of criminals. In this new world, it has no meaning, save for the handful of stranded souls.

In the Shadows - Kieron_ODuibhir

(shortened) Summary:

“I’m not like you.”

The cowl still looked like something he was wearing, but Clark knew it was not. It flexed like skin when Batman narrowed his blank white eyes and said, “I can see you know that.” 

Chirp - AmariT

Summary: Every piece of the signal Tim unlocked revealed more locks, and by the time he broke through the last one, he was already mentally rehearsing his many upcoming talk show appearances. 'Yes,' he told the interviewer, 'it was difficult for me, a ten-year-old genius, to break open the worldwide alien conspiracy. That's why it took a whole hour.'

When the crackling audio started, he expected some weird alien language. Maybe squawks and high-pitched squeals mixed with musical woofs. Maybe they wouldn't talk at all, and images would beam directly into his mind. Maybe they'd talk in practiced English with a Midwestern drawl like their other resident alien.

Instead he heard a low, guttural voice growling out of his computer speakers. "Robin," it said. "Are you in position?"

A Better Cage - Mangaluva

Note: I was absolutely DELIGHTED to see a Young Justice Crossover with the Justice Lords (Earth-50) from the animated Justice League series, which is near and dear to my heart. I admit I haven’t really had much time to hunker down and read this, but even skimming, it’s an intriguing piece of work. Also, Justice Lords.

Summary: Wally's grateful to have woken up at all, really. He just doesn't know what to make of the world he's woken up in. At least they want to find a way to his world as much as he does, if not exactly for the same reasons...

Common People - AmariT

Note: The Bat boys are all Bruce’s blood sons, but it still feels very much like a found family. I haven’t really read everything in this series, but I feel the author has an amazing grip on all the characters. Lovely and heartwarming.

Summary: His whole life, Jason’s mom had told him his dad was Bruce Wayne, but he’d never been dumb enough to actually believe it. They lived in a rundown, one-room apartment in the worst part of town, and in every single picture he’d ever seen of that rich bastard he was wearing a suit or sipping champagne worth more than everything they’d ever owned.

But if he wasn’t Bruce Wayne’s kid, then what the hell was he doing sitting outside the man’s office in Wayne Towers?

Red Robin and the Hood - momoejaku

Note: Haven’t read this in a while, but it made an impression. Though it’s a fic set during the Red Robin arc, it very much is about both Tim and Jason. Plus, it fleshes out the Pru and Z a bit more, too.

Summary: Bruce Wayne is dead. Superman brought back his body, and the family mourned him, holding a quiet funeral in secret so that the legacy of Batman could live on. But not everyone has been able to put him to rest.

Reeling from the loss of Bruce, his identity as Robin and his trust in his family, Tim Drake sets out on a personal quest that will take him across the world to prove what he knows in his heart: that Bruce Wayne is alive.

Though intending to make his way alone, Tim reluctantly accepts help from his predecessor, Jason Todd, who knows from personal experience that death is not always as final as it seems.

Together, they are Red Robin and the Hood.

Liminal Spaces - Calamityjim

Note: Skimmed this only since I’ve been busy, BUT it does look well-written, and I’m always a sucker for alternate dimension/dimension travel intervention-type of fix-its. It’s a very specific trope.

Summary:

Bruce's habit of collecting strays is not limited by dimension.

Or

When Young Justice Batman comes across an angsty, seemingly abandoned by his Batman Tim Drake, he decides to step up to the plate and parent the crap out of him.

Little Bird’s Vengeance - KatHarkness-Katara

Note: Crossover with Avengers. Awesome fic with Tim and Jason and some Outsider POV (via the Avengers) of these dimensional stragglers. I think Tim’s team shows up in the later chapters, too. If you’re reading on mobile, it’s still very much worth reading despite FF.net’s horrible format and abundance of advertisements in the mobile version.

Summary: Why is life never simple? Red Robin's ended up worlds away from home once again, and now what's he to do? What do the Avengers want from him; do SHIELD have another agenda; and is there any way back? Pre-New 52. No slash. Rated for inevitable language/violent themes.

A Displaced Red Robin - dragonprincess1988

Note: Worth reading despite FF.net’s horrible format and abundance of advertisements in the mobile version. Well-written fic! EMOTIONS! I love them. Younger Dick Grayson is adorable, Tim is a competent fixer-upper for other people but not so much himself. He’s kind of angsty and making YJ Dick want to keep him (and YJ Bruce, too, if you read between the lines). On the plus side, seems like he’s making good friends with Young Justice Roy. This fic was written before certain episodes of YJ came out, though, and the fic reflects/will continue to reflect that. Still, I give it five stars.

Author’s Summary: Tim gets transported to the cartoon Young Justice world, and he's not sure he knows how to deal with it. Attention: If you want to know about Artemis or people from Tim's world the final note on my profile is for you. Also, a special thank you to angel-gidget over at Tumblr, who made the wonderful cover art for this story.

The Till-then From the Ever Since - Keiron O_Duibhir

Note: Fandom classic. Definitely a must-read for Batfam fans, in my humble opinion.

Summary: It began, or seemed to begin, with Jason.

Usually that would have meant something in the order of fire and explosion and probably at least one gunshot wound, but for once (as Tim said, sourly), it wasn't actually Jason's fault.

The Wayne Family Ghost - pupeez4eva

Note: Please read this. Especially if you’re sad or anxious or just have time. I couldn’t stop laughing. It’s my go-to cheer-up fic. Absolutely hysterical.

Summary: In which Bruce realizes that having a legally dead son, who regularly hangs around the family, might be slightly problematic. 

Bloodline - chibi_nightowl

Note: Complicated family dynamics, this time centering around Tim, Selina, Bruce and, surprisingly, Damian. Jason and Dick make an appearance as supportive big bros, too. It works. Take a read, it isn’t that long.

Summary:

“Mr. Drake, I can’t think of a better way to say this, so I’ll just be blunt. This file is for your first adoption. By the Drakes.”

Tim blinked. “My what?”

“You were adopted as a newborn by Jack and Janet Drake.”

“Excuse me, but what the fuck are you talking about?”

Talon!Tim AU Series by keeptogethernow

Note: Found family, from a different angle. Cool fic and well-written.

Summary of Tso’ape Mumbichi, first in the series: Ten years ago, two people made a deal with the devil--unlimited funds in exchange for their child. And now it's time to pay up. But there's no way to ensure that the child will cooperate.

Shutterbug Series by goldkirk

Note: Exactly what it says on the tin! Found family.

Summary:

Tim Drake is thirteen, runs the famous BatWatch blog that has spiraled hilariously out of control, has absentee parents that suit his purposes just fine, is training himself to run the streets at night, and is doing absolutely peachy, thank you.

Alfred and Jason disagree, and get Dick and Bruce involved in figuring out their weird next door neighbor kid’s life. Everything goes uphill from there.

Thursday’s Child - anthalogia

Note: Well-written and has found family and Tiny!Tim? Automatic win.

Summary:

He’s not the first child with nowhere else to go that Bruce Wayne has taken in. Dick Grayson was the first and the most high-profile – because no one would have thought Bruce Wayne was interested in ever raising a child, let alone the orphaned son of circus performers – but Jason was maybe just as much of a shock to society for being a street kid who came out of seemingly nowhere. Tim Drake is ordinary by comparison – his parents died in a plane accident. He can’t think of anything very special about him except that he met Bruce a few times when his parents hosted parties to keep in touch with Gotham society.

Or, tiny Tim Drake is adopted by the Waynes a little earlier than scheduled.

We’re Not Driving (How did we get here?) - TimTheToaster

Note: Short and sweet, a little angsty, and then very sweet.

Summary:

Tim stared at his phone, as if that would change what was on the screen.

Dick Grayson @FlyingDGrayson

It took some doing, and in some cases a little blackmail, but we've finally got the whole family together for a movie night! #WayneManor #movienight #familytime #schedulingisanightmare

15 minutes ago

Take It Back Now Y’all - TimTheToaster

Note: And Tiny!Jason has made his appearance. Also, Tim, I am begging you to please take care of yourself—ah, Bruce has made his appearance. Interesting. Also, I gotta say this author is good.

Summary:

There was absolutely no way this sunshine was from Gotham in April.

Not possible.

Which meant, Tim was no longer in Gotham, in April.

(In which Tim finds himself in the past, and tries to do the right thing. It's more complicated than he'd like.)

Takes a Little Time, Takes a Lotta Twine (To Get Us Back Together) - TimTheToaster

Note: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, beginning of reconciliation, and brotherhood. A satisfying, cathartic moment during the Red Robin arc to soothe your heart.

Summary:

Tim was in Gotham.

Tim had pretty specifically been avoiding thinking about Dick as much as possible for the last few weeks.

For the last year, really. No need to open that can of carnivorous worms.

Dick had other plans.

Everybody’s Heard (Bird is the Word) - TimTheToaster

Red Robin Era ANGST, but like, deliciously well-written. Also, protective Dad Bruce is always epic. Light bashing of Green Arrow and BC, though. But considering the situation (in this fic), kind of warranted.

Summary:

5 times Batman heard other heroes talking about his wayward brother,

And 1 time they were talking about his son.

A Choice to Make - scorbusfics

Note: fresh and interesting premise! Cool world building, too.

Summary: They have to choose. Dick and Bruce have to choose one person each to save, and one to disappear through the door.

“Send one of us,” Dick says fiercely, not for the first time. His face is dark and angry and desperate, eyes flicking from brother to brother. “Send one of us instead. I won’t choose.”

“Neither will I,” Bruce says.

But Tim knows.

Secret Places - RenaRoo

It’s ANGST, but the author knows how to use it well. Also, Jason’s line at the end killed me. Damn.

Summary: Tim Drake goes missing. The search to find him begins.

[oojei]

Black Lightning is the BEST WRITTEN Arrowverse show

They don't follow the whole monster/villain of the week thing and they come in chapters

Story is fleshed out, everyone has their own journey, their own stuff to deal with

And yeah that's sometimes (very) stressful, but that's what makes it a good story

The politics and social issues are honestly hurtful to watch because you can see it in real life

Esp the quarantine parts and the occupation? I almost quit because of that

Music is also good like srsly awesome song choices esp during fight scenes and stuff

Oh god the fight scenes too

That thundergrace apartment fight was def foreplay i need more

I love their costumes tbh, i keep imagining Cisco's delight when he meets Gambi

Not just the superhero costumes, okay? Even the civilian ones, esp the villains

Those rich fashion, very nice choices

Also obviously Anissa and Jen's wardrobe too

But the title cards are the best part just look at them

Let me talk about the characters now

Jeff Pierce is such a DAD and i remember that dad talk he had with Barry

I wish i seen more of him as a teacher/principal?

Black Lightning's a bit meh, for me. I think it is the generation gap and the fact that I like Lightning better

The visual effects they use on him, esp that one where he had lightning hoops? Very amazing

Next is Thunder, because I could write a whole essay on Dr. Lynn Stewart so I'll talk about her later

Right, anissa. Tbh i don't feel her that much? Maybe because she's been strong almost all season

She was like this pillar that was confident in herself, in her powers, in what she wanna do and who she wanna be with

Which is VERY AWESOME esp for a woman of color

But idk i just want my characters breaking down and stuff

Like Jen, like Lightning

Tbh I hate her superhero name because it's so similar to her dad

But anyway, i like Jen's journey the most

And. She. Is. The. Most. Powerful.

Period.

I want her to transform to pure energy again just so she can meet gideon and idk ask for make up tips

Her safe space thing actually reminded me of gideon's matrix so

Anyway, her and Khalil are just ugh

Let them be happy together !!!

Also, she and Brandon are just bros oki?

I do like the combination of their powers tho

Which makes me wanna have Jen meet a water-based meta

Maybe Kuasa?

Anyway, Gambi time

Fave old man, i would believe him to be batman

Kinda waiting for a batwoman crossover tbh

But yeah, Gambi is such a badass old man, and I want his sanctum

Special shoutout to TC, let him meet Cisco and Brainy

Oh god TC and Brainy

Obviously TC and Gideon too

Right, do I get everybody on team Black Lightning?

GRACE! I love you I did not forget about you you are amazing with all your scars and trauma and spots and comic book fascination

Please give her a suit

And wake her up from the coma

Remove the order from Gravedigger too, oki? Even though that ASA fightscene was real nice

That's everybody right?

I shall be talking about Villains now

Khalil is first because he uses the line bet villain and hero as a jumping rope

At first i thought he's like Sara Lance but then I realized a lot of people in this show does not stay dead for long

He is such a thirst trap during s3 and i am not complaining

But also my arms wanna try that whole one arm pull ups to the side thing?

Maybe after i actually manage to do a pull up

Petition for him to Salmon Ladder pls

Also that sequence where he's listing the martial arts he knows? VERY COOL

There's one I did not know, that Silat thing?

Anyway, props to Jordan Calloway, he's good as a villain and a nice guy and even the damaged sad boi

At the end of s3 i imagine the Waverider picking him up when he rounded that corner lol

Let him be happy oki?

Next villain, Tobias Whale

That man had such a good evil laugh okay? Very very good. I hate him

And he's such a fancy rich cockroach

Still haven't forgiven him for killing Todd

TC and Todd would've been friends

Or even more (let us not discount that possibility)

Anyway, Lala and Lady Eve, idk they just complicate stuff

But Odell, I WANNA KILL HIM

God he's sooooo ugh

I have so much hate for him and he's still alive so he could very much well be back and ugh

Moving on, Gravedigger is such a well-written villain

He believes he's right, has that special tick that he buries all of victims and his power was awesome too

I want that tbh

Can I talk about Lynn now? Great

I love her, I want her to be my mom but also she is very hot

Christine Adams is a very very VERY GOOD actress, tbh

Her shotgun scenes, caring doctor and then the addiction storyline just *chef's kiss*

Honestly she is awesome and I love her

Imagine the power if she, Lena Luthor and Caitlin Snow worked on some bioengineer medicine

Just ugh, the pretty on the screen

Oh wait, Dr. Jace (RIP) I hated her at first and then when she got to markovia and did that whole how to make friends thing? She's hilarious

Still evil, but I like her

Super smart but dumb about people, that part when she's actually listing down the recipe for Lynn's peant butter cookie

I think I got everybody right? Right.

Let's move on to things I didn't like

Obviously the fact that Anissa and Grace didn't get a wedding like dude that is so unfair

And now Grace is in a coma

In season 3, where is perenna?

Also why did Henderson have to die

Somebody revive him pls

I think I got everything already and I am SLEEPY AF sooo

GO WATCH BLACK LIGHTNING!

[five-wow]

considering what we now know, one of the last of these i might ever get to do: i watched 10.18! thoughts under the cut.

the previously on reminds us of adam’s yakuza problems, so i was braced for that, and then we get an establishing shot of the mcgarrett house instead! and suddenly steve is ironing a shirt on a towel in his kitchen again, and for a moment i was extremely confused because this is very clearly not the same shot as in the valentine’s episode but it’s also... the same thing?

BUT THEN, of course, we get steve raising a finger and going “don’t” just before we’re shown that danny is SITTING ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER WATCHING HIM, again i might add, and danny hasn’t even said anything yet but steve is already defensive and claiming that he likes ironing (which i love, that is a wonderful headcanon) and as far as déjà vus go, this is one i do not mind in the slightest. this is, in fact, the exact content i come here for.

okay wait, EVEN BETTER, danny seems to be sitting on the counter... reading a book? he is... in the kitchen, reading (writing in? idk) a book (in a room where there are zero chairs, which is usually where people locate their asses when they read books), while steve is also in the kitchen, ironing a shirt? dear lord. danny moved in and suddenly eddie wasn’t the only guy following steve from room to room in his own house anymore, i guess.

waiiit, steve is going on a date with emma. that is. not bad, just, so very confusing. (potentially very much a lie, omfg. that kind of confusing.)

HAH. i’m not the only one who went “?”, because danny doesn’t believe steve either.

fdjkfd steve asks alexa for his schedule to prove he’s telling the truth but what this really proves is that if it’s a lie, steve had the foresight and intention to put a fake appointment in his calendar, which i would in no way put past him. that’s the easiest thing in the world.

also, danny casually dropping in that he bought alexa for steve? i??? danny is just “casually” hanging out in rooms steve is hanging out in while it makes no sense for danny to be there, buying steve presents, pulling steve’s pigtails by questioning everything he does when he gets the chance, and that’s? that’s normal now?

junior!!! junior pops into the kitchen!

and he’s GOT A DATE TOO, which is a) WONDERFUL and b) a reason for danny to start describing tani which is fascinating and c) a reason for steve to say “well you know what, i think it’s great that you and tani are giving it a go, bud”, which is super cute and it’s A+ to know they have steve’s official stamp of approval (i mean, he’s their boss, that could’ve somehow gotten awkward), but also leads to a shot we get of danny pulling a face that’s kind of “ugh” and “yeah right” mixed into one and just. you know where i’m going with this. if you’re on this blog and you’ve read this post all the way to this point you definitely know where i’m going with this, but yes, this is absolutely danny mentally yelling that it sure is great THEY’RE giving it a go, steve, and doesn’t that potentially inspire you to ruminate on something going on in your own life, like, say, how you feel about your best friend and partner who also works on the taskforce with you and has a big mouth and whose name is oddly close to tani, actually, for that matter?

steve gets a call about shots fired at adam’s building and i’m just now realizing i’m only two minutes into this episode. i’ve spent at least ten times the amount of time rambling that i have watching anything. gonna need to shake that up a little bit.

fdjkfd lou and hpd enter adam’s apartment and they find at least three guys in actual gear, all dead, and adam curled up on the floor in what looks like sleep clothes, with blood all over him, and a) is adam literally superman now? but also b) even if i do accept that it’s possible he killed all of those guys before they managed to hit him anywhere vital even once, then how did he get smeared in blood that evenly all over? did he roll around on the floor before he curled up in the corner? i’m not an expert, but i feel like that’s not how a person would look after fighting off three attackers and presumably shooting most of them.

oh BOY. adam, with a crazy glint in his eyes: “i’ve been trying to dismantle kenji’s operation for months now. and i finally have the evidence to do it.” i both unexpectedly like this, and already low key hate it for how it’s probably going to be used as the show’s way of clearing adam from all the completely bonkers things he’s been doing all on his own with zero authorization or backup and bringing him back into the fold of five-0 as a somehow still trusted team member.

oh dang. opening credits do their thing, and then there’s no pause to check whether there’s even actually any actual evidence on that thumb drive adam was holding, but we just jump to swat, adam, lou and junior rolling up to kenji’s house and engaging in a huge shootout.

adam is now the lone dude pursuing kenji through the dark woods, who is also alone, of course. they brawl, adam gets the upper hand, and he gets a chance to shoot kenji which he doesn’t take, and then he calls for emts (good! this is good!) and extremely dramatically tells kenji “you were right not to trust me. i was working for five-0 the whole time”, and it just sounds like such a weird brag at this point. so i guess adam never went to the bad side again, suddenly? he just... keeps pretending he does over and over, and the criminals on this very small island keep being stupid enough to trust him, which honestly, is on them.

adam keeps bragging and oh gosh, tell me there’s a twist here and this is not just his victory lap. there’s so much of the episode left that something has to go very wrong about adam’s nice plan to wrap it all up neatly.

aha! it’s implied that letting kenji live might go badly for adam because kenji has information about adam that is bad for him. they did not completley forget that adam did crime stuff!

noelani seems to be at a funeral and we meet her parents and they don’t exactly seem super proud of her achievements, which i think we were told in the past, but now we’re shown, and it hurts my heart.

oh noooo. noelani gets to the open casket and immediately finds marks on the body that she clearly thinks are suspicious. that’s! not going to go well, gosh.

fdjkfdjkf adam and steve are in steve’s office and steve basically just went “so your plan to fight the yakuza was to join the yakuza” and adam very seriously goes “yes.”

steve is very not happy and adam doesn’t truly seem to grasp why and then steve’s phone rings and there’s a case, which is very nice timing for adam. saved by the bell.

so five-0 is on a ship that got robbed by pirates but it’s all very mysterious, and then they realize there might still be a pirate on board and they split into search parties and it’s junior and tani as one (who start talking about their missed date), and steve and danny as the other (who are not shown talking about dates, but who knows), and just. i love watching both of those duos work together, and the junior-tani vs steve-danny parallel is once again very in your face, hah.

tani gets locked in a kitchen with the pirate and junior is outside freaking out and that’s angsty but then junior and steve finally break through the door in a combined effort and they and danny rush in, only to find tani has already solved the problem without their help. YES. GOOD CONTENT.

jkfdfjdk over on the island, quinn is now helping noelani intimidate the coroner who wrote a bad report on noelani’s uncle’s death and that is ALSO very good content.

dfjdk lou welcomes most of the team back to hq and asks “anybody left pining”, which he follows up with the rest of a sentence about the high seas, but UH. YES. i know some people who might be pining.

lots of plot stuff happens and it’s genuinely interesting to watch, but also, oh my god, quinn and noelani are making me cry.

fjdkfd tani goes to meet one of the guys from the magnum pi crossover and he says he’s still waiting to hear back from quinn about the dinner he was hoping to have with her, and i like that because my lesbian quinn headcanon is still going strong.

quinn and noelani encounter a teen trying to get out of gang life who might be on a wealthy person’s hitlist, and my first thought is just. put the kid in the mcgarrett house. not only will he be instantly adopted by steve (and thereby gain a complicated network of siblings), but he’ll also be living in a place where he’s protected by not one, not two, but three members of five-0, two of whom are former seals. just. aside from the dire lack of beds, it would be so good.

jfkdslf, steve, danny and junior find the pirates and a room full of bags of powder that looks like drugs but probably isn’t, seeing as it killed the pirates, and then a small army rolls up outside and starts shooting at them, forcing them to take cover in the room with the powder, which starts dusting the air as the bags get shot. i love how the writers made the circumstances work here, omg.

I LOVE THE WAY THAT PLAYED OUT EVEN MORE, because it made a) for a very interesting shootout with clear stakes, and b) for a somehow both hilarious and potentially super angsty moment when danny is fairly affected by the powder, which has to bring up some bad sarin gas memories for him, and then steve shoots one last bad guy right over danny’s head and danny’s ears are ringing and he yells something and steve doesn’t understand him and just kind of pats his back in comfort, which in turn gives me strong driving-a-nuclear-bomb-through-the-woods, name-your-restaurant-Steve’s-please flashbacks, oh my gosh.

tani makes a REALLY LAME PIRATE JOKE and i LOVE HER.

quinn got the whole team together at a bar so noelani wouldn’t be sitting at home alone!!! the type of supportive female friendship i want to see!!!

and then quinn wants noelani to come dancing with her, but the magnum pi guy shows up and noelani tells him that maybe he could take her place. GAY QUINN IS SOARING. also, poor woman. this has strong vibes of danny setting steve up half against his will.

tani and junior watch quinn and the guy dance and decide to join and/or dance fight them in the best conversation ever, and it looks they’re all having SO MUCH FUN and it makes my heart happy.

what ALSO makes my heart happy is how much i enjoyed this episode, because i thought there would be a lot of yakuza stuff after that “previously on” and the beginning, but adam just kind of disappeared after his talk with steve, and suddenly there were two entirely unrelated plots which were both very neat and gave me so, so many character interactions i adored, ahh, how wonderful. i love season 10 so much.

[absolute-lithops-emotion]

because my brain works the way it works, whenever I get into something I immediately shift into crossover mode, so I was thinking, tma and dghda

Dirk Gently characters in the Magnus Archives universe is just way too sad to think about, but tma characters in the Dirk Gently universe on the other hand!

Imagine:

When Jon is a kid, he encounters something dangerous and supernatural, like in canon, and like in canon he can only stand there and watch. But then it keeps happening. He keeps running into these terrible things happening to other people, and there’s never anything he can do to help, and he remembers all these things perfectly.

Then one day, a man comes to his grandmother’s house. Says he’s from the Magnus Institute, and he knows about this kind of thing. Says he can teach Jon about it, if he comes back to the Institute with him. So of course Jon goes, and when they get there Elias (because that’s the man’s name, of course) leaves Jon with a tape recorder while he “takes care of some paperwork” and suggests that Jon might feel better if he puts his stories to tape. So Jon does, and almost immediately, the awfully present memories begin to fade into something more… ordinary.

Jon lives at the institute, and Elias tells him about his powers, about the Universe and being connected to something bigger, and at first Jon finds it comforting. But as he gets older he begins to realize… that Elias isn’t going to teach him control, isn’t going to tell him that he can do more than just observe. That maybe he can’t do anything more than observe. Maybe that just isn’t what he’s for. Well, that’s fine.

So when Jon’s an adult, Elias sends him out of the Institute to record specific weird stuff, although he usually ends up getting sidetracked and kidnapped a lot before he’s able to get back. And he does go back, every time, because, you know, emotional manipulation. BUT THEN he meets Martin. Martin’s connected with something weird somehow, maybe as it turns out A Lot of weird things, but he doesn’t seem to be actually Involved with any of them. And Jon… keeps running into him??? So Jon is like, obviously this is a Suspicious Figure, in need of Further Investigation. And completely fails to realize that he just has a crush on the guy.

This story is called “New Children of the Old God” of course

More disjointed thoughts about this AU under the cut!

I haven’t figured out exactly what what Jon’s deal is as an Agent of the Universe but he’s probably something like a memory backup system? The stuff he gets drawn to involves other people like him and sticky causal situations, and a lot of the time (increasingly often??) situations where Holistics/the Universe aren’t working the way they’re supposed to and things are going wrong. So Jon observes these events and their fallout and records them in a tangible form that can be referred back to later by other people in case something like this happens again.

And he is ONLY supposed to observe, NOT help or interfere. That would corrupt the data! So as long as he stays out of it, he is very very hard to injure, since he does have to be in close proximity to dangerous situations. But there are times when he can’t help but try to help instead of just observe and he usually ends up horribly injured. Elias berates him for doing this, under the guise of being worried for Jon’s safety, but really he just doesn’t want The Mission to be compromised and he wants Jon to do what he says. Because he’s horrible.

In that vein, Elias has set himself up as this kind of Father Figure Mentor and he absolutely ruffles Jon’s hair a lot.

I also haven’t figured out Jon’s exact attitude towards the whole situation at the start of the story but, much like in canon, I think he’s in heavy Denial Mode. He can’t deny that he has powers or that supernatural stuff exists, but he absolutely is framing it as a power that he has, that comes from him, because he doesn’t want to believe that he’s just being pulled around by the Universe and if he doesn’t acknowledge it it’s not real right??? This is just his Job, and he’s going to be a Professional and Do His Job. Which, does require him to act like an insensitive jerk about other people being in danger, But Hey. (Also this attitude probably interferes with him doing his job effectively BUT HEY)

Oh and he does have the whole “compel people to tell the truth” thing. As well as the “sometimes you just Know Stuff” thing, not that it’s very helpful in actually piecing things together. Jon has the general background awareness of the fundamental interconnectedness of all things, but not much more in that vein

There are two options for the Institute that I have to decide between. One, every Holistic went through there, like with Blackwing, and just some of them have “graduated” and live somewhere else now or just aren’t affiliated with them anymore. Two, the Institute has only ever had a few Holistics because… they don’t have a military budget lol. I’m leaning towards the second one, because of that and also some other stuff that I’ll get to.

So, the people who I know are at the Institute (in a similar position that the Holistics were at Blackwing): Jon, Gerry, Annabel, formerly Michael Shelley but not anymore. Might be more? I sure don’t know.

Annabel’s deal is the easiest to talk about so I’ll do that first. She’s actually pretty similar to Dirk, minus the detective thing -- she makes sure people and things are where they’re Supposed To Be, doing what they’re Supposed To Do.

She doesn’t do anything as unsubtle as command or compel people, instead she usually has a very good hunch for just what to casually mention or suggest in order to make them have the idea themselves. But she might also be able to control people by whispering to them while they’re asleep, mostly because I think it would be hilarious if she used this power to make Jon do dumb stuff and walk into things when they were kids. I mean, all of this is really subject to change given that we know jack shit about Annabel in canon.

Annabel is also the one who really Gets, like, what they are and what they do and what that means. She is just the kind of person who can fundamentally vibe with the idea that they are really just being pulled around by the Universe for its own designs and they don’t get a say in the matter.

So Michael is hard to figure out because fractals mean something totally different in these two canons. So do I give him a connection to the Backstage of Reality Mandelbrot dealie? Because here’s the thing I’m gonna go on like, a million tangents here but hey everything’s connected right

(Also something I have to figure out is which parts do I take from Michael Shelley and which parts do I take from Michael Spiralentity because we know the latter AN LOT better than the former so like, but on the other hand.... You see what I mean?)

Whatever Michael’s deal is, at some point he gets betrayed or finds out something and completely breaks from the institute and also starts trying to fuck up the Universe. At some point he meets Helen and I guess it’s sort of like a Bart and Ken situation?? Anyway and then at some point the Universe gets Fed Up with Michael’s shenanigans and forcibly rips his powers out of him and gives them to Helen.

But then I was thinking, maybe give the Mandelbrot Powers to Gerry, because I could not for the life of me figure out anything else, and also he has the biggest Hero Of Another Story energy, and also like I said fractals mean something different in the Dirk Gently universe.

But then, like, multiple people can have pararibulitis at once in canon so maybe it’s a moot point! Maybe they can both have Mandelbrot Powers who knows

Anyway

So they all live at the Institute together but they are fairly isolated and don’t see each other much until they’re like, older teens

Also I have to mention at this point: this fic is Jonmartin but! it might also!! be Jongerry!!! Because I’m nothing if not a sucker for “Gerry was Jon’s celebrity crush” and in this case they are actually living in the same building and Jon has absolutely run into Gerry doing inexplicable and slightly concerning Mission-related things in odd corners in the middle of the night, and also keeps hearing all these stories about him, AND THEN, he finally is old enough that Elias lets him go on Missions with the other Holistics his age and he gets to go on one with Gerry and he’s like okay be cool be cool be cool and he psyches himself out so much that he ends up saying something really insensitive and he’s like I Can Never Talk To Him Again, cause he’s a teenager. But, you know, they end up working together often and by the time the story starts they’re actually on pretty good terms. But then Jon’s in denial and Gerry has some complicated feelings about the Institute and he doesn’t really like what they’re doing, and those attitudes clash Bad sometimes.

Martin is also very jealous of the Holistics that Jon grew up with cause like, they grew up together, they probably understand Jon better than he ever will, right? And he’s jealous of Gerry especially but then he deals with his issues and gets over it and then polyamory can happen.

(It goes without saying that Jon is oblivious to ALL of this for a Very Long Time)

I don’t know who came up with “Holistic” but it probably wasn’t Jon, that being said this will not stop him from using it when people point out that he doesn’t actually know what an archivist does. It’s an instant Get Out Of Jail Free card. He can just answer anything with “Well, that’s because I’m a Holistic Archivist”

Jon is Elias’s Favorite but literally no one except him actually cares about that because Gertrude Robinson is also there and she’s just objectively so much cooler.

I’m not sure if Gertrude is Holistic or not? She might be, given her very “for the greater good” attitude that seems to be shared with the Universe (could she be… a Holistic Arsonist). But unlike Jon and his gang she is on pretty much the same level as Elias or at least he wants her to think that.

Dekker might be there too? But he’s definitely not Holistic, he’s a regular guy who just happens to be really badass.

(Much like the Holistic Gang, there might also be other adults there but I haven’t figured that out yet (I mean they’re all adults but some of them weren’t always if that makes sense))

The Deal With Elias: Obviously some kind of body-swapping happened there, there’s body-swapping in Dirk Gently already I have to take advantage of this precedent. Here’s the basic idea that I have currently: Elias Bouchard is kind of a loser. Okay, a big loser. But then one day he encounters something. Something weird. Something that makes him latch on to the idea that there might be Something Bigger. And the Bouchard family is a bit like the Spring family -- they aren’t Holistic or anything like that, but they have seen/done some weird shit, and they do have Resources. Resources Elias can use to, eventually (or maybe not eventually? perhaps even accidentally? definitely accidentally), look into the very Backstage of Reality itself. Resources that would be very useful to Jonah Magnus, who’s been waiting back there for a Very Long Time. Here’s the thing -- Elias Bouchard wanted to play a part in something bigger than himself. To be Important, in a cosmic sense. And Now He Is.

Also, og!Elias absolutely ran into/maybe worked with Gertrude Robinson before The Thing happened, solely because I n e e d to give them Riggins’ and Friedkin’s conversations. Can you imagine

So here’s the thing. I have no clue what Jonah Magnus’s intentions or motivations are in this AU! A possibility: he, like Michael, is Against the Universe, except he’s pretending not to be and in fact might have slightly manipulated Michael into trying to break the Universe? And maybe, when Michael is Replaced By Helen, he also gets taken to the Backstage of Reality (or maybe he was there when it happened and now he has no way to get out) where he meets! none other than og!Elias. I just think that would be fun. But on the other hand why was Jonah Magnus there in the first place? I don’t know, we didn’t get the chance to learn anything about the place before the show was cancelled, so

Another possible plot point: What The Fuck Is Up With Hill Top Road??? Seriously that house is the most Dirk Gently shit in the whole podcast. I mean, I really wouldn’t want to write about it until we learn what the canonical deal with it is but then I definitely for sure will not be finished with this fic by the time we do learn that so

[ajora]

I never played ff5 but ngl I kind of want you to answer ALL the questions on that meme because I like hearing your thoughts about it. (and faris for the character part, because hm. yes. butch lesbian pirate. I can dig this. and your otp for the ship part, obviously.)

Oh boy, settle in because this’ll be looong.

So, for everyone else: warning: this talks about being nb/butch, a taboo ship, and spoilers for FF5.

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Favorite character: Toss-up between Faris and Lenna.

Least Favorite character: I don’t actually hate him because his recurring crossover character status is hilarious and he’s got great theme music, but, Gilgamesh. His final words to Faris ( 恋でもして　ちったあ　女らしくなりな | essentially: go fall in love, then you’ll become more feminine) always rubbed me wrong. The love that defines her is the love she has for Lenna, even if you don’t interpret it as romantic love, and her love should never force her to become what she’s not. 

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): Honestly, just Faris/Lenna. I’m chill with other people shipping other ships, but farilenna is my forever ship.

Character I find most attractive: I overrelate to Faris and Lenna is exactly my type. Gosh, but her squeak in DFFOO is adorable.

Character I would marry: I mean, I have a girlfriend I intend to marry, but Lenna would be a nice second option.

Character I would be best friends with: I’d probably get along with all of them, but realistically Butz is just the kind of no-commitment, independent friend I get along best with

a random thought: After the DFFOO event with Butz giving everything that makes him him to his dark world clone, I unironically want to redraw a SUF screenshot with someone taking Connie’s place to say that the only one who hasn’t had Steven Butz is Steven Butz. Largely because Butz shunts his personal feelings to the side to be the supportive friend and teen girl escort everyone needs.

An unpopular opinion: The GBA localization is great, but it’s not an accurate translation and sacrifices accuracy for the lulz. Which is fine!

My Canon OTP: I’mma reach and say Amano drew my otp holding each other on official art that got plastered everywhere in Japanese GBA-release media, so that totes counts as official, right? It’s the same argument the Butz/Lenna shippers used back in the day. (I even have this art in poster form)

My Non-canon OTP: Because FF5 has no actual endgame ships, obviously my otp. 

Most Badass Character: Look, Faris dove into a dragon-generated whirlpool that could have killed her to save her crew when she was 15. She fell off a cliff and crawled back up for Lenna. Faris, hands down.

Most Epic Villain: tbh the most epic villain was one who wasn’t in the game until he became an optional boss added in the GBA revamp: Enuo. He might not have been in the game’s present, but his shadow loomed large 1000 years after his death/sealing away.

Pairing I am not a fan of: Not personally a fan of shipping Butz with any of the girls, largely because he’s shaped like a friend and has been a fantastic friend to all of them, and FF5 really isn’t a romance. I’m absolutely happy to ship him with Squall in the Dissidias though. Butz/Squall is my otp for him. 

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Eh, I feel like the ending sequence for Faris could have focused less on her being a woman and more on her actual acts of courage. Courage being her whole damn thing and defining trait and all.

Favourite Friendship: Faris and Syldra. Gosh, but all the Japanese texts on them makes me mourn Syldra’s death even harder.

Character I most identify with: Faris bc butch/nonbinary reasons and huge issues with being shoehorned into one gender (male) but not really feeling it (Faris does, in Japanese at least, identify as a woman; direct translation by me: “don’t treat me like a fool because I’m a woman”) and also not wanting to 100% be compliant with femininity.

Character I wish I could be: Look, who doesn’t want to be a pirate.

002 | Send me a ship and I will tell you:

When I started shipping them: 1997 baby. It’s been years and while I flitted out of FF5 fandom in the 2000s up til I returned now, I never stopped loving my ship

My thoughts: Yeah, the sibling incest complicates things, but also? They were separated very young, didn’t grow up together, and didn’t meet again until adulthood. There’s no actual power imbalance there. Even with respect to social status. Like, yes Lenna’s in line to be queen, but does anyone really think she’d abuse her position for anything? She adores Faris. Faris will destroy everyone in this room and then herself if anything happened to Lenna. 

What makes me happy about them: Oh, gosh, they are so good together. Also? I adore how muddled up they are together. Lenna is the Light Warrior of Water, her defining trait being conscientious kindness. Faris is the Light Warrior of Fire, her defining trait being courage. But Lenna will absolutely kill that dragon if she has to. She’ll hare off into the unknown with only a knife to find her father. She’ll trudge through poison to save that dragon she was gonna kill. Her sky dragon turns into a phoenix. She’s the spirit of Water, but everything about her screams Fire. Conversely, Faris is bonded to a sea dragon, nearly drowned twice that we know of, and over the course of the game she does become a kinder person than she was. She’s the spirit of Fire, and yeah she does have courage aplenty, but she’s so inextricably bound to water that her skills in DFFOO are water-related. 

What makes me sad about them: That they could never be together openly. Also? That modern/post-GBA fandom will absolutely shit on the ship’s fans. You’ve seen me talk in Discord about the hate I run across often enough. And it’s absolutely wild to me because I’ve been here since 1997, I’ve heard all the jokes about Faris/Lenna back then, and no one threw a fit about it like they do now. Nevar 4get the off-color FWAKs that were common back in the day. 

Things done in fanfic that annoys me: Mostly just... treating the girls as Butz’s personal harem. And this is a small thing, at least. 

Things I look for in fanfic: Anything with my ship. Alternatively, anything where at least Faris isn’t straight. 

My wishlist: God I just want to talk to fellow Faris/Lenna shippers! And if I have to improve my translating-to-Japanese skills for it, I will. Also, I wanna get involved in a Faris/Lenna doujinshi someday. Or an anthology!

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: their dragons

My happily ever after for them: A cottage by the sea, all regal responsibilities forgotten, with new dragon companions because theirs died over the course of the game and Highwinds must have dragons.

003 | Give me a character & I will tell you:

How I feel about this character: Superb. Fantastic. When I was a young butch in the closet with only Oscar to look up to, Faris stormed onto the scene with all her flaws and character development and a dragon friend! and yes, I dig this. Still favorite, though Lenna unseats her ever so often. 

Any/all the people I ship romantically with this character: Lenna. That’s it, really. World of Final Fantasy floated the idea of Quistis/Faris, but didn’t provide a lot to go on. 

My favorite non-romantic relationship for this character: Syldra! Although I have been known to ship her with Syldra too, back in the day. 

My unpopular opinion about this character: Faris is a very, very Asian trope character, her roots being in Oscar of Rose of Versailles, Takarazuka, and East Asian legends and histories of crossdressing women. I just feel really uncomfortable when white people, especially white cis people, ignore that, ignore that she herself says that she’s a woman, and insist that she’s a trans man. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I do wish the epilogue slideshow focused more on her deeds than on her feeling uncomfortable complying with traditional femininity.

Favorite friendship for this character: Syldra!

My crossover ship: Faris and Quistis becoming friends in WoFF after Quistis challenged her to a fistfight is just so Faris that I’d love to see fics exploring that. 

[vaultdweller]

@imunbreakabledude tagged me and my first thought was - TV Show? I don’t know her.

But then my brain function returned so here we go

1. The Nanny (my OG TV obsession)

2. Killing Eve

3. Criminal Minds

4. Parks and Recreation

5. Brooklyn 99

Who is your favorite character in 2?

Eve Polastri. Villanelle is a good character, but what really makes her, I think, is how Jodie portrays her. But Eve has such depth and nuance. There are so many complicated things happening with her and she has such potential. Even with how they kind of butchered her character in Season 2 she is still my favorite.

Who is your least favorite character in 1?

Dusting off some vintage Opinions here but CC was not a good character as she was written. She is so one-dimensional! Like it was just the same gag over and over about her being in love with Mr. Sheffield and being desperate. I get that this was the 90’s but still, write a two-dimensional female character, please.

What is your favorite episode of 4?

“The Fight” because the Snake Juice sequence is one of the funniest sequences in television ever.

What is your favorite season of 5?

Probably the first two seasons, before they started adding plots that were more drawn out. I really love that “monster/crime of the week” format and the later B99 season have not really done it for me

Who is your favorite couple in 3?

An Opinion here, but I dislike every couple in this series. I don’t think there should be couples, I think this should strictly be a show about profiling and catching serial killers and their personal lives should be left out of it.

Who is your favorite couple in 2?

The only possible answer to this is Villanelle and Eve like, it’s the whole show. That’s it, that’s the show.

What is your favorite episode of 1?

Ohhhh man there are so many good ones. The one where Fran and Val get kidnapped and held ransom by the people who run the Mr. Softy truck and Mr. Sheffield has to go through this lame action sequence to put the clues together and rescue them? The one where Fran lands a recurring spot on the Rosie Show giving childcare advice? The one where Lamb Chop gets eaten by CC’s dog??? How could I choose??

What is your favorite episode of 5?

Any of the Halloween heist episodes, hands down. They are all just like, a masterclass in plot twists and comedy.

What is your favorite season of 2?

Season 1, definitely. PWB just did such an amazing job escalating the tension between Eve and Villanelle, laying the scene and creating like, the perfect highwire between gory crime and comedy and dark humor. Both Jodie and Sandra were at their best with PWB and I would rewatch that season over and over and over. (However, I don’t dislike Season 2 or the ending!)

How long have you watched 1?

As I said, this was my OG TV obsession starting in like, middle school. It was on Lifetime every day at like, 3 p.m. and 3:30 p.m., followed by Golden Girls at 4 p.m. I believe, and I would tape every episode so I could go back and watch it later. I literally had the whole series on tape for a while.

How did you become interested in 3?

I like true crime and I like shows about serial killers so this scratches all those itches. It’s also just a great show to have on in the background, but you can also get super into it. The writing can be really good too. Plus I love any show that I can just put on a random episode on and fall into it.

Who is your favorite actor in 4?

Rashida Jones, but mostly because she is one of the few people on that show not roiled up in asshole/sexual abuse/#MeToo stuff. Parks is one of those shows, along with 30 Rock, that has basically become really hard to watch again now. And now someone is going to @ me with something Rashida Jones has done and I’ll have no one.

Which do you prefer - 1, 2 or 5?

You’re going to make me choose between my children, The Nanny and Killing Eve???? This is exactly like Sophie’s Choice.

I would probably prefer to watch The Nanny, but I prefer the Killing Eve universe/characters/setting better.

I like B99 but like, there’s literally no competition.

Which show have you seen more episodes of 1 or 3?

Criminal Minds, but on a technicality because it has more episodes than The Nanny. However, if you counted all the times I’ve seen all of the episodes of The Nanny, it would be the far and away winner, second only to The Golden Girls for number of times watched.

If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?

April, for sure. I basically already am. The weirdly quiet and morbid but competent assistant? Check. Except I would absolutely not end up with Andy. Gross.

Would a crossover between 3 and 4 work?

Yes and it would be HILARIOUS. Imagine the BAU showing up to investigate a serial killer in Pawnee. Leslie would be trying to insert herself into the investigation and end up getting in everyone’s way. Ron would refuse to cooperate and mock the BAU agents for working for the government. Tom would spend the whole episode trying to flirt with JJ. April and Reid would get along in a really creepy way. And Jerry would be the killer.

Someone make this happen!

Pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple

I’m all about making things gay, and I think Fran and CC getting together would be the ultimate gay bait and switch. It would be like, the opposite of queerbaiting and be AMAZING.

Like, picture it - For 4 seasons Fran thinks she’s falling in love with Mr. Sheffield and CC thinks she loves Mr. Sheffield because she’s supposed to because of her social class. They hate each other for it, until something happens and they both realize, wait, Mr. Sheffield ain’t shit. Also, other than Niles, CC is the only one who could really match Fran’s fire. Plus I’m a sucker for enemies to lovers, guys!! Except I did NOT like the Niles and CC pairing at the end! Please subscribe for more dusty-ass Opinions on The Nanny.

Overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5?

This is hard because both of these shows have done things I really really like and things I hate. They also both kind of have the same basic premise of “cops catch bad guys” except B99 has more of a social commentary? And Criminal Minds is a formula-based cop show about catching serial killers that tries to really shoehorn in moral messages. I’d say I like Criminal Minds storyline better, but only when they’re doing that killer-of-the-week formula.

Which has the better theme music, 2 or 4?

Nothing can compete with breathy women singing about loving women and killing people, so Killing Eve. I would let Unloved write the whole soundtrack to my life.

[frankenfic]

prompt #3

genre(s): boku no hero academia and harry potter

mc: preferably aizawa lol

setting: hogwarts

hp x bnha crossover bc we seriously need more of those, and aizawa's my favorite so:

there's a threat against hogwarts, one they've never faced before and never thought they would have to face, not since (eastern asia? i think the shiny baby was from china) was hidden from the rest of the world after quicks started to appear in people.

(this "hiding" was actually done by wizards who were worried about the statute of secrecy and sorta kinda viewed people with quirks as some sort of magical creature and so they not only helped hide them but also made the outside muggles forget they ever existed—and the hiding works similar to grimmauld place and hogwarts and the leaky cauldron and all that.)

but now a villain (villains?) had "escaped" and joined the death eaters (why? idk—yet) and bc quirks (wizards call people with quirks "quirks" maybe? idk) are immune to magic (bc i said so the sake of the crossover) they (dumbledore, the reckless bastard that he is—the Order's words, not mine) decide to get into contact with eastern asia for the first time since they were hidden away, and get in contact with some leaders or some shit (i don't know how the gov't in bnha works) and they agree to send someone.

specifically, they send the one person who is immune to both magic and quirks—the beautiful bastard himself,

♡ aizawa shouta ♡

and perhaps they send one more person bc maybe they aren't sure that the villain's/villains' quirk even is erasable, or it might be one of those physical quirks aizawa can't erase, and so they choose to send someone who they trust to be able to handle any quirk that aizawa can't.

the most obvious person for this choice to me seems to be all might, but hizashi should also be good. :)

but if we do choose all might then the next question is which all might—as in from what time? it has to be before you-know-what happened (spoiler?).

but the main issues here are

a. the secret identity issue—but it's not like the wizards are gunna go tattling, right? but the villains might...BUT. if we go with younger yagi before he was injured by all for one and became all emanciated and everything, he didn't look that different in his true form?? so it wouldn't be an issue, would it??? but i kind of want him to be in the emanciated form for the fic...it has...personality...hmm...

b. his time limit. which i don't really think would even be an issue really while he's there, bc he's only gunna need to be in his "flexing" form when he's fighting potential villains, and i sincerely doubt he's gunna need more than three hours or whatever.

if anything, i think the time limit would actually help?? bc like...he can only do hero work for like three hours, so maybe?? the hero agencies and shit figure they can like?? spare him?? for however many months?? maybe they have their own portel person who they figure they can send to get him if need be in emergencies...

...but, then again...he's the symbol of peace. how can he be a symbol of peace and a reason for the bad guys to not do bad guy things, when he's not even on the same continent????

you know what. maybe toshinori is too complicated. let's just go with hizashi.

oh, and i can't believe i almost forgot: aizawa shouta (and yamada as well) as especially good choices to go to hogwarts to protect against these mystery "quirks" bc they have experience teaching as actual high school teachers, so ofc their guard duty is gunna double as them being transfer students teachers from a prestigious academy in that continent we tried to shove under the rug and pretend didn't exist for the last i don't know many years (eastern?) asia (japan? we can just pretend for the sake of the au that that shiny baby first appeared in japan instead of china).

and also the mutant gene or whatever that caused quirks to start developing was isolated before it could spread when they hid away the country/continent/whatever, which is why people with quirks ("quirks," as the wiz-people call them) never appeared outside the whatever-place.

also also in case it wasn't clear wiz-peoples hold the same prejudice against "quirks" as they do centaurs and giants and mermaids and so on, where they view them as magical "beasts" instead of rantional people—but this view is not shared by everyone!! mostly just the racist people, like umbridge!!

although most wiz-people probably fear "quirks" bc all they really know about them is that they have these insane abilities and are immune to (offensive?) magic.

so. no defense? scary.

but hermione probably knows there's nothing to fear—she probably found the one book in hogwarts from before the quirks were hidden away, that talks about them w/o being insanely prejudiced.

and last but not least, i know what you're thinking: didn't yagi spend time in 'merica?? yes. yes be did.

in this au people are allowed to travel to different countries, but it's extremely restricted and no...ahem, fraternization...is allowed. otherwise they risk spreading the mutant "quirk" gene and rendering the whole hiding-an-entire-whatever-away-for-years-and-years-and-years thing totally null and void. pointless.

and that'd just be annoying.

p.s. i can't stop imaging the professors' and order members' reactions to him, they're gunna hate his "laziness" and shoddy appearance him so much.

it'll be hilarious.

[clonerightsagenda]

Gill and I may not live together anymore but we can still Do Damage

Kat: me, working on the alpha kid portion of my AU and also watching she-ra: Dirk.... Entrapta.... (does he still have prehensile hair? You Decide) Gill: Anime spikes are now real spikes I'm also happy to give him Doctor Octagonapus arms Hedgehog man Kat: someone: so it's the princess alliance right actually we had to change the name because we THOUGHT it was the princess alliance but uh Gill: Junior Royalty Alliance Princex Alliance? The Gay Agenda Kat: lmao addendum: Jake is sea hawk Gill: Who's Glimmer, telling him to set his boat on fire Also: Dirk stop experimenting on the planet Kat: Jane Jane is glimmer trying to be responsible and controlling people Gill: That is perfect and I love her Kat: Is Roxy bow? I'm not sure Gill: Also she'd be adorable as a blue sparkly glitter fairy Who's Adora and Catra Also autocorrect I understand correcting Adora to Adorable but Why did you change Catra to "Avatar" Kat: I mean Adora and Catra do have some pretty strong Vrisrezi vibes Also that way if Adora is Terezi you can have Janerezi if you want it Gill: I am resistant to Vriskerly Actions and yet I cannot deny that it works Also Glimmerdora is a rly cute ship... Kat: Catra is like Vriska done well Gill: And now Vriska has a friend who is a scorpion lady It's fitting Kat: god who's scorpia omg NEPETA cat scorpion switch Gill: And DIRK WHY ARE YOU HANGING OUT WITH VRISKA TO HACK THE PLANET, I DONT APPROVE OF HER SHES A BAD INFLUENCE Mr Strider go to your room Kat: I was going to say how long could dirk possibly tolerate Vriska Doc Scratch is prob shadoweaver Gill: Instead of getting a mask knocked off it's just His whole head Kat: ok I fixed it Dirk makes Hal and Hal gets left behind and Hal is much more bitter about shit and so more willing to join up plus Hal would take Vriska-Catra in stride just like lmao check this DSMIV entry out Gill: Have both, Dirk is acting like an Actual Captive while Hal is having a good time with the girls Kat: Hal: I know why you're in the Horde. You've got a complicated relationship with your pseudo parental figure and feel abandoned or treated as less than by your former friend. Vriska: And why are YOU here smart guy Hal: Absolutely none of those reasons. Gill: Hal: you know I can ask them to let you out Dirk: I will not stoop to the level of a traitor Hal: w/e Nepeta and I are gonna go watch anime Kat: Hal: Hey Dirk if you hadn't cut your hair you could use it to pick the locks on those shackles. Dirk, who chopped his hair off years ago bc #dysphoria: Eat shit Gill: Dirk: I replaced it with robot arms for a reason Hal: yeah thanks for the extra arms by the way Is Dirk's hair bubblegum pink naturally, does he dye it Kat: oh god Dirk has anime hair Gill: I feel like he'd either Constantly be trying to act like the main character he thinks he is, bc he knows what pink hair means Gill Or trying to AVOID his calling as a Main Character bc he will not be pigeonholed into your limiting archetypes He is a main character of his own narrative conventions Kat: Can Entrapta's hair feel pain?Would cutting or bleaching it hurt it the real questions Gill: He dyes it red and It comes out orange and it's a fair enough compromise because bleaching it doesn't feel Pleasant Most AUs: Nepeta, tiny fluffy cat girl She-Ra AU: Nepeta, enormous buff scorpion cat girl who is the tallest character in the cast Some day if and when I need background Nepetas for the Dreambubbles I'm adding Scorpeta to the Nepeta Squad Kat: I always imagine Terezi as shortish so Terezi suddenly becoming 8 feet tall is hilarious to me Gill: Giant... dragon woman... Oh no it's everything I ever really wanted Kat: so Jade's probably perfuma Rose is Frosta. She's still 12 years old and angry Gill: Can Jade's Kingdom be full of furries I politely but firmly request furries Kat: god i guess???? so is this trolls = horde humans = alliance where are john and dave Gill: Terezi: I have a sword. It's sharp. Dirk, probably: ...I want a sword Oh man we're out of male characters already Kat: i mean there's dudes in the horde Gill: Unless John is Bow... but Bow is the Power Of Heart dude... Yeah that was my other thought Kat: John and Dave WERE the patronees of Terezi and Vriska Gill: They're Background Horde Dudes, the one guy who immediately latches onto Bow when he's taken prisoner is Very Dave What was his name Steve Kat: get wrecked I thought it was Kyle? Gill: KYLE Kat: it's funnier if Bow is Roxy latches onto his mom Gill: It was very much an Inherently Funny Plain Dude Name If and when I draw this I'm giving Jake (Sea Jake... Jake Hawk...) a terrible pubescent mustache A pubestache, one might call it Kat: ew Gill: Jake Hawk sounds like a Generic Action Dude name, like what you'd call Solid Snake if you were writing a novelization of Metal Gear and knew nothing about Metal Gear Kat: i'm formatting this for an initial tumblr post Gill: Excellent We Have Done It Again, My Dudes Kat: our trail of devastation knows no bounds Gill: The Crossover Gremlin's reign of terror has yet to be stopped