#complicated to explain but whatever it works that’s all that matters <3 anyways i have to go to class in like. a few minutes 😭

[treecakes]

i love the boots i’m wearing today but they have no foot support At All. and if i have no foot support i tend to supinate my feet and now my arch hurts so so bad. so i went back to my apartment in between classes to find my shoe insert things because i could barely walk without wincing

[montecarloedexistence]

Driving myself Crazy for three hours trying to make an incomplete Smooth Particle Hydrodynamics Simulation in Python

The following post is a rant. I try my best to explain and dumb things down, but I'm writing it with too much frustration at my code so I apologize in advance.

For those who wanna go oooh colors changing pretty here's a short clip of the animation I generated. There's a longer simulation linked at the bottom of the post.

Read on about how I made the simulation under the cut.

Okay, so, Smooth Particle Hydrodynamics. It's one method of Simulating Fluids (gases and liquids and plasmas basically) with computers. It's mainly got applications in two places, from what I know. One is in Science Research, and another is in Game Development.

There are two major methods of representing a fluid for a computer, one is with Particles, and another is with grids. I tried to make a grid-based simulation but that has a lot more math, and I can't do math without some meth so here I am.

Okay, so Smooth Particle Hydrodynamics. How does it work? Well, like it says, it's basically simulating the constituent and then smoothing them out to sorta get the hydrodynamic behavior. [3]

The Ancient Indian natural scientist Maharshi Kanada [1] postulated that everything in the world was made of tiny little things indivisible things called Paramanu. Democritus proposed a similar theory, that all matter was composed of small indivisible particles which they called "atoms" [2]. The idea of smooth particle hydrodynamics builds on top of that. If everything is made up of these constituent particles, then so must fluids as well.

These constituent particles (particles henceforth) are nice. They don't break further, and they undergo elastic collisions. (ACTUALLY, the actual molecules that make up a fluid are not like this, we're just assuming that they are cuz this whole mess is complicated enough without having to simulate intra-intermolecular interactions). Elastic Collisions, basically mean that the particles, when they hit each other, they don't lose the energy of motion (kinetic energy). [4]

An actual Liquid is going to have MILLIONS OF BILLIONS of particles. Actually, we have a name for something that big, it's called a Mole. [5] One mole is like 10^23 particles. (10 times 10 times 10... twenty three times). But my computer is a useless piece of potato that can't even be used to make a goddam french fry, unless you wanna heat up the oil with how hot this thing gets doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Okay sorry for the tangent. It's like almost 2 in the night and I'm hungry. My point is that my computer can't keep track of one mole of particles. It's too many particles. So, what I say is, okay, out of the one mole of particles, I'm going to keep track of only like say, 1000 particles. And then whatever results I get, I multiply it with a big number and scale it up to approximate the results of one mole of particles.

So, I just put a bunch of particles, and then I have to keep track of their positions, velocities, accelerations, and all that jazz. So if you remember 8th grade there were these equations of motion, where you'd change the values of position, velocity, and acceleration using some formulae. [6] Those formulae are continuous, which means for fancy sphancy reasons (Remind me to write another post about this when I'm in a better mood about this one it's super cool) I can't use. I need to do something called Discritize the equations. [7].

For that, I used something called the Explicit Euler Method first. [8] That's basically a method that Euler came up with I guess so it's got his name. Why does the Wikipedia article on this thing not have a history section but a section on "In Popular Culture" wth. Someone pls edit it if you know the history of this thing anyways.

The problem with Discretization is that, the way you're implementing it in computers, it's not going to be accurate. There's going to be some errors and they build up. So normally when you drop a ball from a certain height, and ignore the fact that heat and air and friction exists, then the ball hits the ground, and bounces back, it should go back to the height it started at. But because of the errors from Discretization adding up, the ball kept losing height. That's not good. So I moved over and implemented this thing called the Runge Kutta Method. [9] These methods were developed around 1900 by the German mathematicians Carl Runge and Wilhelm Kutta. If you're looking at the wikipedia page for this and wondering what the heck is this, same gurl same. I just asked chatgpt to implement this method into my code and it gave out something that I think is correct I'm not sure. But the point is that this is better and doesn't throw that much errors in calculation.

Okay now that that's done, I threw like a 1000 balls onto the screen, gave them random velocities, put them under an arbitrary downward gravity, and hooray. That covers the particle part of the Smooth Particle Hydrodynamics.

(YES I know particles don't go through each other like they do in this simulation. I'm supposed to include some collision logic, and I could not be bothered to implement it yet, because it is 2 AM and I AM GOING CRAZY with just this much.)

Now, for the Smooth part of Smooth Particle Hydrodynamics. If only I could use this as an excuse to pull out my smooth pickup lines but I'll stick to the physics for now. Basically, one way of calculating density is, suppose I have a box, I can toss in say 100 balls, and then the density of the box is 100 balls / box. The box has some volume, so I divide this unit I've got with the volume of the box. And each ball has some mass, so I multiply the unit with the mass of each ball. And that's basically what I do here.

Suppose, I take a point and then around it, I draw a circle. I first count the number of particles in this circle, and then divide it with the volume of the circle. (There's a few more steps here but i'm not bothering. I'm giving more importance to the particles closer to the point and less to the particles more far away but that's a mess to explain and I can't think of a way to explain it.). And then I multiply and divide by the mass of particle and volume of the circle respectively, I end up with the density at the given point.

But that's just for one point. If you sit and plot it for as many points as possible, then you get something resembling the density function of the system. What I've done here is basically divide my domain into a 25 by 25 grid, and I calculated the density at the center of each of the grid boxes. The more particles and the More Grid boxes you have, the more smoother your function will be. Here, not so much. It's a pixelated mess, but the same logic applies. I calculated the density grid for each instant of time, and then let the simulation run for like 1000 frames.

FINALLY the plotting. I just plotted the points where they are with a scatterplot, and then the background I put the heatmap of the density. And of course I didn't bother naming my axes, because that's the standard practice for plotting graphs. (When you're lazy like I am right now. Always label your axes in a serious graph)

So here's the GIF I finally generated after the trials and tribulations going for like 1000 frames. Let's hope Tumblr can render it pls.

I cited my references in the order of the paragraphs I wrote so deal with the non-linear citations. This ain't a research paper and it's way too late in the night for me to be bothered about this sorry. Why did I even bother with the citations if I was going to half-arse this thing anyways this is why you don't write stuff when half asleep.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ka%E1%B9%87%C4%81da

[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atomism

[3] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Smoothed-particle_hydrodynamics

[4] https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elastic_collision

[5] https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mole_(unit)

[6] https://byjus.com/physics/equations-of-motion/

[7] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discretization

[8] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Euler_method

[9] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Runge%E2%80%93Kutta_methods

Okay yeah that's about it time to sleep for me. I just wanted to finish writing this post before I could sleep, cuz I know for a fact I ain't goina be in a mood to write it once I wake up. 100% gurantee I'll lose the motivation to write it once i wake up lol.

[yeoja-dream]

Intertwined

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Pairing: BTS OT7 X Reader 

Genre: Fantasy, Magic, Eventual Smut, Plot, slight slow burn

Characters: Vampire!BTS, Elf!Reader

Content Warning: none 

Word Count: 4.3k

You finally wake when the rays of the late morning sun warm your face and hurt your eyes. You sat up groggily, rubbing the sleep from them with balled fists. Unwillingly, the events of last night flood your barely continuous mind. The memories have you kicking at your sheets with frustration. 

“What was his issue anyway?” You complained out loud. Maybe you’d never get to know. At least I get to say I’ve both instructed and kissed a member of BTS, you attempted to reason. The thought brings you little comfort. 

While you set something fragrant to boil on the stove, you checked your phone, finally, scrolling through dozens of missed notifications due to your late slumber. Habitually, you checked for new work emails, the top of which gave you immediate pause. “SUBJECT: I’m sorry. SENDER: KIM SEOKJIN. You’ve got to be kidding me.” You laughed incredulously. 

Dear Y/N, 

Firstly, I would like to apologize for contacting you via your work email. In my rush to leave last night, I forgot to exchange more proper means of contact. I would also like to apologize for my behavior. I understand that it must have been, in a word, confusing. If you would be kind enough, I would greatly appreciate the chance to explain myself properly in person. The issue is more complicated than I have a great understanding of, so I would also like to bring Namjoon who has a better understanding of the circumstances. However, I wouldn’t want to impose or make you feel like you were being ganged up on. 

Please understand we will take no further action with you, and should to ignore this correspondence we will take it as your disinterest in the subject matter and we will leave you alone. 

Best, 

Kim Seokjin 

“Jeez, this guy is uptight.” You mumbled, reading the message in totality. You sighed, sitting back in your rickety kitchen chair. Confusing is an understatement. You thought to yourself. But you also couldn’t deny that curiosity clawed at your insides. You sipped your hot, spiced cider, the taste giving you comfort and confidence. Something is telling me to hear them out, Dad. You thought to yourself. I just hope the cinnamon is enough.

Dear Kim Seokjin,

Sending emails is cumbersome, so here is my cellphone number. Text me whenever you’d like. 

Thank you for apologizing. I will decide whether or not I accept it after our meeting. It may be sudden, but I took the day off of work today. If today does not work, you can make arrangements with me after the studio closes every day at 10 pm. 

Best, 

Y/N

You type the email and hit send before you can overthink it too much. What makes a man go from ready to take you on the floor to running out the door you couldn’t fathom, but you certainly looked forward to finding out. 

It was about 2 hours later your phone buzzed with a notification, a text this time. 

Hello, this is Jin. We all have schedules this morning, but Namjoon and I will be finished around 5 pm. Is it alright if I go ahead and make dinner reservations? Is there any place you like in particular?

Dinner reservations? You mused to yourself. That sounded formal, more formal than you were comfortable with. Dinner reservations were for dates, of which this meeting was certainly not. 

Dinner is fine, but there is no need for reservations. I’m in the mood for Mediterranean tonight, so you can meet me at Olive and Thyme at 7. You replied. 

Your phone buzzed again soon after sending. 

Olive and Thyme at 7. We will be there. Thank you. 

At that you tossed your phone to the other side of the couch, settling back into the cushions, zoning out to whatever insane dating reality TV show was on. Speculation is going to get me nowhere. You reminded yourself. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had been a while since you had a reason to get dressed up, you realized as you curled your freshly washed and dried hair. Except the concert you had attended just 2 days prior, you could list the occasions you had to dress up for in the last 20 years on one hand. The thought makes you sad. 

Your theme is cute but casual, you reminded yourself as you selected your pair of favorite high-waisted jeans, a plain crop top to match, and a light jacket to go over. There was also no need to go overboard with makeup, a little bit of skin tone-flattering eyeshadow, mascara, and a pink lipgloss would be plenty. 

Of course, you didn’t forget about your ears. You’d had the pointy pains in the ass your whole life, and as such, you had discovered dozens of ways to hide them away. Your hair was down today, so pinning them back with a dab of spirit gum on the back side of each was more than enough coverage. 

You stood back, admiring your handiwork in a standing mirror in your bedroom. Cute and casual, you decided. It was while looking at your reflection, that you also realized how remarkably well you had been taking things. Just two days ago, you were a faceless fan in a sea of other fans. You were meant to enjoy a fun performance and return to your daily life, and yet impossibly, not but 24 hours later, the oldest of BTS was running out of your dance studio after a steamy make-out session, and now supposedly wanted to meet up to discuss something cryptic. It was absurd, anyone would agree. Even in your most delusional of fantasies you couldn’t have dreamed up something more ridiculous. Maybe that was what was keeping you calm, sane. Maybe this was all just a crazy dream. 

The time to leave fast approached, and with those lingering questions you found yourself in the back of an Uber on your way to destiny. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The interior of the restaurant was dated in its decor and sparsely populated, even when it was time for the dinner rush. You were the first one there, the aromatic smell of spices and wine hit you like a wall causing your stomach to clench painfully in hunger. The hostess was a small, mousey woman, who upon your request, sat you in one of the booths on the far side corner of the restaurant, more privacy, you figured. 

Quickly the cool-headedness you were able to maintain from the safety of your home gives away to waves upon waves of anxiety. Bouncing your legs and chewing your nails was all you could do to relieve some of the pent-up nervousness as the seconds felt like hours. You cursed yourself silently for needing to arrive early. 

Your suffering is somewhat short-lived, however, and as the clock hit 7:00 on the dot, the bells on the entrance door chimed as two handsome, well-groomed men walked in. It was easy to identify the pair as your evening guests. 

They were nicely dressed in outfits not dissimilar to your own. They too spotted you easily, and with a swagger in their walks that made you need to look away, they both slid next to one another in the seats opposite to you. It was weird, though. Having both THE Kim Seokjin AND Kim Namjoon sitting across from you should make you feel 10x more anxious than you had before, and yet, slowly, you felt the tension in your shoulders come to dissipate, and when you really focused, the buzzy, electrical feeling from the previous night was becoming more and more prominent. 

“Thank you for meeting us,” Jin took the lead. “This is Namjoon.” 

You cracked a smile. “I know.” 

“Well, I didn’t want to presume…” Jin trailed off embarrassed. You didn’t think you had ever seen Jin get embarrassed before, it was cute. 

“Hi,” Namjoon said, offering his hand to you. You took it, and before you could greet him back, the very same warm, tingly sensation zipped up your hand and down your spine. Your smile quickly faded as you found yourself needing to grip the table to reorient yourself. 

“Woah…” you breathed, shaking your head to clear some of the building haze. 

The two boys looked at each other, then back to you. 

“We’re going to talk about that, actually,” Namjoon said. “But first let's put our orders in.” 

It was easy enough to flag down a waitress and place your orders. Small talk was easy to pass the time until your meals were served.

“So…” you began, picking at your salad. “Every time I touch you guys I get a weird feeling, whenever I am around you guys I get a different weird feeling, and at least Jin was acting weird around me.” 

The pair sat back in the booths and sighed, before looking to one another. 

“I’ll start,” Namjoon said. “What do you know about soulmates?” 

“Basically what everyone else knows.” You stated. “One true love and all that. Although…” you trailed off. You triggered a memory, distant at first but grows with clarity when you concentrate on it. 

“Daddy, what’s a soulmate?” You asked, book in hand, curled up in your reading nook in his laboratory. 

“Well I suppose that depends on who you ask,” He said, not pausing from his work. “If you ask most people, I think they would tell you that it was someone they love a lot, or maybe someone who they feel like they’ve known for longer than they’ve actually known them.” 

“Hmm.” You responded. “What if I don’t ask most people?” 

“Hm?” Your dad asked, confused. 

“Well, you said if I asked most people, that they would say all that. What if I don’t ask most people.” 

“Ah,” He said, holding up two liquids seemingly comparing them. “Well, some other people would tell you that soulmates are different than just people you love a lot. They would tell you that souls are real, and when a soul is created, it is created alongside another. Usually, they are created in pairs, but it's not unheard of for them to be created in groups larger than that. Each soul is placed in a different vessel, but it will always pine for the soul it was created with.” 

“Woah…” You respond in awe. “What happens when you meet your soulmate?” 

“They say when you meet your soulmate, you’ll just know.” He said, notating something down in his journal. “Your soul calls out to theirs, long lost lover and friends reuniting after millennia. You burn and ache for the other until your souls are finally tied in a tying ritual. The tying ritual gives you a bond that you can communicate simple ideas or feelings over.”  

“Wow! What kind of ritual do you have to do?” You asked, curiously. 

“Oh well,” he paused from his work, looking away. “It is a bit too complicated for you now, but when you get older I will explain.”

“Do I have a soulmate?” 

“Of course, you have a soul don’t you?” 

“Ew. I don’t want a soulmate, Daddy.” 

He laughed at you, walking over to you to pat your head. 

“I’m afraid there are just some things in life that we cannot control, Pumpkin. Besides, I’m not going to be around forever, and it makes me feel better that you’ll have someone to keep you company someday.”

“Nooo!” you whined. “Who else is going to make strawberry rhubarb pie with dinosaurs? You have to stay around forever, okay Daddy?” 

He laughed at you again, kissing the top of your forehead before returning to his work. “Sure thing, princess.” 

You shake your head bringing you back to the present as the memory flicked by. “Souls are created alongside other souls and put inside of people who then spend their whole lives looking for each other and once you find the person you just know and you can tie the souls together and they’ll be happily ever after.” You summarized from your memory. 

“Pretty much,” Namjoon said. “I was worried you were completely unaware. Have you ever met anyone you felt that way about?” 

“Like just knowing? Not really.” You admitted with a shrug. You had loved before, certainly, but you guessed that soul mates were something bigger, much more profound. Someone you loved and knew deeper than summer romances and puppy love. 

“We have,” Jin spoke up this time. 

“Oh,” You said, eyebrows coming together in confusion. 

“But I kissed you, you must be now wondering,” Jin said. You nodded slowly in response. 

“When you are near me, what sensations do you feel?” He asked. 

You took a moment to gather your thoughts. “I feel like there is a current running through me, and the more I spend time with you and the closer in proximity to you I get, the stronger the feeling gets. My brain gets dizzy and hazy like I’ve had a few glasses of wine, and yet my acuity is still razor sharp. And when I touch you, it feels… weird.” You confessed. When I touch you it feels really good and it makes me want to touch you endlessly you added in your mind. 

They shared a knowing glance before Namjoon spoke. “THAT is the feeling. THAT is knowing.” 

“Huh?” You asked, cocking an eyebrow. “I thought knowing was more of an abstract concept, like wow it feels like I have known this person my whole life, I think I want to marry them someday.” 

“In the movies, absolutely,” Namjoon agreed. “But those feelings are your soul, physically calling out to ours.” 

“You’re kidding.” You said, unbelieving. 

“Let me ask you this then,” Namjoon begins. “Yesterday when you were kissing Jin hyung, I bet it felt so, incredibly right, right?” 

You looked at Jin. If you could be honest with yourself, you wanted to climb over this table and kiss him again. Maybe then he’d bend you over the table and take you right here, Namjoon’s hands on you helping bring you to completion- you cut yourself off before the thought can continue further. 

Namjoon looked at you knowingly. 

“So if I am to believe that what you are saying is correct, I am the soul mate to both of you.” You asked, matter of fact. 

“We are suggesting that you are all of our soulmates,” Jin stated, looking at you seriously. 

“As in, all 7 of you.” You asked again matter-of-factly.

They nodded in response. 

You laughed, exasperated. “Bring out the cameras because this is un-fucking-believable. This has to be a joke.” 

The serious expression on both of the boys’ faces says otherwise.

“I know this must be a lot to take in,” Jin said honestly. “It was a lot for me as well. And the others.” 

“What?” You asked, confused again. 

They share a look and Namjoon nods encouragingly before Jin speaks again. 

“We are actually all mated to each other, all 7 of us.” 

“Wow,” you breathed. “You guys are as close as you portray online.” 

The pair chuckle at that. 

“Me and Yoongi found each other first and from there we found different members at different times. Every member struggled with it in different ways, so you probably aren’t alone in anything you’re feeling right now.” Namjoon said. 

“You said mated. What does it mean to be mated?” 

“Oh, it just means that we marked each other.” Namjoon rolled up his sleeves, showing off two gashes, dark in coloration one next to the other. “We all have one. You can either accept the pairing and become marked, or reject it and become a single soul.” 

“What is the marking process?” You ask.

“You don’t know?” Namjoon asks, before putting on a serious face. “In short it is a bonding ritual involving sex.” 

You flushed red at that notion. “So if I wanted to be marked by each of you I would have to…” You trailed off, imagery and fantasy flooding your brain causing you to snap your knees closed. Namjoon looked away, swallowing hard. 

“Yes,” Jin states plainly. “But there is a rejection process as well. None of us are familiar with it, but if that is the choice you’d want to make we’d happily assist you with that.” 

“We should be a little more clear with you as well,” Namjoon looks at you again. “You have full choice and freedom in this case, but ultimately, now that you have found your soulmates, the empty, hollow feeling you will have when we are apart, and the buzzy electric feeling when we are together will become more and more unbearable as time goes on and if you don’t make your choice at all, it will drive you mad.” 

“How long do I have to decide?” 

“A few days, a week at maximum.” He answered earnestly. 

“You are right this is a lot to take in.” You sighed heavily. “With all due respect, I know you based on some well-edited clips and your music. You are all attractive as hell don’t get me wrong, but I don’t know you, and intertwining your life with someone you have an entirely parasocial relationship with is, in a word, insane. And for you guys too, you don’t even know me. 

“That is true, but we didn’t know any of the members that well when we went through the mating ritual,” Namjoon said with a shrug. “Besides, did you really think the universe was so unkind as to leave you without a way to break the bond? People can change, become abusive and cruel, and with or without your partner's consent you can break the mating bond at any time.”

That brought you some comfort. At least there was an ejection seat if the shit hit the fan. 

“This is a lot to process,” you stated, rubbing your temples in frustration.

“I am the oldest, but I was the fourth to join,” Jin started. “When I found out I was pretty upset, I had a solid lifestyle going for me that I didn’t intend to give up.” 

“How did you overcome that?” You asked.

“It was Namjoon that convinced me,” he said, gesturing at the younger man. “He asked me to get to know them. That the divines or the universe or fate had good intentions and I would be sorry if I didn’t at least try.” 

“I was a bit heavy-handed and naive,” Namjoon cut in, embarrassed. 

“At any rate,” Jin continued, “I resolved to give it a month. I wanted to date them, get to know them, you know?” He laughed. “I think I barely made it a week. Something about the all-consuming pull of your soul is hard to resist.” 

“I bet…” was all you were able to mumble in response. “I feel bad,” You confessed. “About the whole getting-to-know-you thing.” 

“What do you mean?” Namjoon asked. 

“I think it’s fairly obvious that I am a fan,” you began, “and while I can’t claim to know you, I would certainly argue that I know each of you just a little more than you know me.” 

“We have forever to get to know you,” Jin said with a wink. Namjoon elbowed him in response. 

“For starters, I’m sure you understand that our public personas are different than our public ones,” Namjoon began “But put more politely, Jin is correct. In the way that some humans go through with arranged marriages that sometimes work out, sometimes something bigger than us calls us to make a leap of faith and trust that it works out.” 

“That sounds like we are putting pressure on the situation. I think I speak for both of us when I say we meant to simply arm you with the most amount of information we can provide. Besides, on the getting-to-know-you front, we know more than you might think,” Jin said.

“Do tell.” You stated, raising an eyebrow. “It appears you somehow found out who I was, and further that I was a dance teacher.”

“I know you’re hiding some cute ears under all that hair,” Jin said with a lilt. 

You instinctively reached up to make sure they were still in place. “How could you possibly…” you mumbled. 

“The truth is,” Namjoon started, lowering his voice. “We aren’t exactly human either, and our, shall we call it, conditions, allow us to sense the energy of different creatures.” 

“So you’ve known the whole time?” You asked, flabbergasted. 

“Pretty much,” Jin stated. 

“Sorry, that's just like, probably my biggest secret and it is just out there so I’m a little off-put. Not that it’s your fault just, in conjunction with everything…” You trailed off. 

“We thought it important that you also knew,” Namjoon said. “That we are vampires.” 

“Vampires?” You repeated. “All of you?” 

“Yes,” He replied. 

“No wonder you are all so unearthly attractive,” you mumbled under your breath. 

They both chuckle at that. 

“When we meet a soulmate, sometimes something darker, more carnal comes out. Vampires, once they are connected with their mates, can only feed off of them. All other blood becomes a virulent poison, so everything in a vampire’s body commands them to claim and mark their mate as soon as possible. Prevents their only food source from walking away.” Namjoon stated. 

“That’s why I kissed you suddenly in the studio,” Jin explained. “It’s not that I didn’t want to already, but I had resolved to not make any physical contact with you until all of this had been laid out, but the way you were looking up at me, the feeling of your hand on my body, your smell in that warm, closed room…” he trailed off before clearing this throat. “It was too much to bear. It brought out that dark side and well, you were there. I’m sorry for doing that without giving you the proper context.” 

“It’s fine,” You admitted. “Truthfully, I wanted you to kiss me, and I enjoyed it.” I wanted you to do more, you thought to yourself. “I was more hurt and confused when you, superhumanly I am now realizing, left with barely a word.” 

Jin’s expression was nothing if not apologetic. “I realize that must have been upsetting, and again I’m sorry for that too.” 

“But wait,” You began, tilting your head to the side. “If you are all vampires and are mated to each other, then do you drink each other’s blood? Do you even have blood in your body to drink? And if a vampire can only feed from their soulmate once they’re found, what happens if rejection occurs?” 

“Yes and no,” Jin said. “It is actually a myth that vampires don’t have blood. The vampire toxin mutates the blood of the person being turned and makes it so it's the only way for the new body to get energy. Problem is, vampiric blood isn’t very nutritious and it takes forever to regenerate by itself, so we have to supplement with animal blood usually. It's barely edible, and not that much more nutritious but it's better than being dead.” 

“Fascinating,” You said. “The universe really fucked you all over making you all mates and vampires then, huh.” 

“Tell me about it,” said Namjoon. 

“Well, what about my other question?” You asked. 

They exchanged uncomfortable looks. 

“You don’t have to worry about that,” Namjoon said gravely. 

“I thought we were being honest with each other?” You asked, feeling slightly frustrated. 

“We are, it’s just…” Namjoon sighed. “It would add stress to a stressful and confusing situation and I don’t want you to worry about it.” 

“Well, now I am worried!” You exclaimed. 

A few beats of silence passed between you all. 

“Just tell her, Joon,” Jin said. 

Namjoon sighed at that. “When a vampire is rejected, or when a vampire’s bond is severed, the vampire dies. Jin mentioned that we can subsist on animal blood for nutrition, but what he didn’t mention, is that the consumption of energy is also part of what vampires consume when they eat blood, and once you find your soulmate, it is only their energy you can subsist off of.” 

“So you’re saying…” You trail off, flabbergasted, before starting again. “You’re saying should I choose to reject you all, I am dooming you to starve to death and die.” 

“You understand why I was reluctant to tell you.” 

You put your head in your hands, head spinning with the information dump of the last hour. How could it be in just 48 hours you went from a passing fan to suddenly, apparently, being the deciding factor whether or not BTS dies? It was too much to handle, and with the added pressure, you felt like your head was going to explode. 

“I need time.” You managed to say. 

“Perfectly understandable,” The pair agreed. 

“I have to go, I think,” You said, starting to stand up. “It was lovely to meet you but being so close is messing with my mind a little.” 

“By all means,” Namjoon said. “Don’t worry about the check, it’s the least we can do.” 

“Okay, thank you.” You said, standing fully now. “You have my phone number, text me any time, I guess. Bye.” You began somewhat robotically walking away from the two men who had just turned your life upside down, out of the restaurant, and into the cool early night air. 

You walked for hours, the outside had always been a place of meditation and peace for you. Your mind swam, full of questions and concerns. On one side, your heart soared at the chance to be with BTS, by all appearances they were hot, funny, kind, and interesting people that just about anyone would sell their grandma to be with. On the other side, you worried. About how you didn’t really know them personally, how they didn’t know you, how stupid and impractical it was to make a life promise to someone you barely knew let alone 7 someones, and most importantly, it concerned you how loudly something deep within you called for you to accept them. Now, there was the added pressure of not killing them. If only you were here, you sighed inwardly. You’d tell me what I should do. 

Somehow, you found yourself full, your feet sore, and no closer to a conclusion. You collapsed on your bed, exhausted, sleep finding you and carrying you off as soon as your eyes closed.

[inchidentally]

@watehry asked for me to a carlando zodiac analysis like my landoscar one <3 (reminder I am not Lando levels of expert at astrology so this is me taking from a bunch of sources)

this one got kind of weird for me though bc the astrology is crazy black and white simple and gave maybe a little too much insight for comfort?? anyway proceed if you still want but also skip past if the parasocial stuff is too weird (it rly kind of was for me in places)

Scorpio and Virgo are a slam dunk as a match in friendship. simple as. Scorpio is ambitious with highly changeable super-charged moods and pretty damn needy. Virgo is all about "optimization" of themselves but extremely forgiving towards other and so self-reliant that it's easy for others to rely on them (sometimes more than they should).

this worked out perfectly for them bc Lando has had so many different needs throughout his career: an extremely young rookie needing a strong leader, a struggling teammate who needed someone to provide all the fun and reassurance, then no longer a teammate who needs a friendship that fits around his crazy schedule and existing friends, and a competitor who would honestly be a lil devastated if Carlos didn't still try and look out for him on the track. Carlos has been able to cater to all of those different things without ever losing himself. he finds Lando fascinating and fun no matter what.

honestly with Scorpio being a Fire sign and Virgo being an Earth sign there doesn't need to be much digging beyond that. their equal passions balance out beautifully and has strong enduring power.

Scorpio's birthstone is Topaz and gemstone is Citrine. Virgo's are Blue Sapphire and Topaz respectively.

a lot of the usual Virgo traits don't uhhh rly apply to Carlos as a beautiful cis man born of extraordinary privilege who has a rarefied hyper masculine sport as his job (he is never 'in his own head' and never over-intellectualizes lmao) he wants? he gets.

Carlos is a solid extrovert with a seemingly undrainable social battery which also counteracts more stereotypical Virgo qualities. but he is also an extremely hard worker who shows intense focus and mastery over whatever he pursues. very very Virgo.

he's also endlessly curious which makes him a great people person as well as a student of his sport and nothing is more attractive to him than someone who is fully open and vulnerable. he would have absolutely no idea what to do with an Oscar for example. they'd both be very happy and respectful in each other's company but only if someone else provides a common topic. otherwise it would be radio silence.

but little rookie Lando Norris who has been starved of the superstar attention he had in his junior career while he toddled around after Fernando? he and Carlos fit together like chicken and breading.

"Virgo wants order while Scorpio wants power" says a whole lot about how compatible they are. they want the same things but in completely different ways. it's why Carlos can factor in helping Lando get a podium and Lando has no problem admitting that Carlos helped him get there.

pitfalls of their relationship are down to the fact that they are so complimentary yet both are strong-willed. Virgo thinks far more logically and doesn't want to compromise by factoring in Scorpio's ever-shifting ambitions and emotions. it's honestly a very good thing that they've chosen friendship/bromance over anything else. they can keep that sweet aspect of romance but without having to suffer the restrictions and complications of a romantic relationship.

and um it might also explain why Carlos was the one to push Lando into finally having a girlfriend. from what I vaguely know Carlos himself had a longtermish gf ? for his McLaren years ?? and he'll have found it easier to deal with Lando's neediness with a gf for Lando to focus on.

not to get too parasocial about real life stuff here but we can all kind of agree that Max F's girlfriends have to accept that his friendship with Lando comes first. or at least equal to them. that's because once Leos find someone happy under their control and protection it's an absolute lock for life. Scorpio Lando wants attention and reassurance, Leo Max wants to be the leader and the rock. Scorpio needs to be in their feelings at will and Leo loves living in the moment. they sort of already found their person in each other oops. but since cis straight people relationships already center around ferda culture it works just fine.

by contrast, Carlos as a Virgo would have his own strict ideas of what his relationships should look like and I'm gonna take a wild guess that his family have inscribed ideals of wives and babies and being a provider into his DNA. when Carlos gets married it's going to have to be Lando who works around the schedule and makes good friends with Carlos' wife. fortunately he seems to be able to do that just fine with Max's partners so I don't see any issue there. (this is what I mean when I said this got very weirdly intuitive about real people)

as long as the Scorpio/Virgo friendship is free and easy for each party to come and go as they need to, they'll literally be bonded as family til they die. I can't read Lando's actual feelings well enough bc he uses so much deflective sarcasm but Carlos and his family absolutely adopted him as one of their own. Lando might take a little bit more of Carlos' generosity than he gives back but that's just their way. I'd say Max F is the bff who will always be there and Carlos is the bff that Lando can meet after months apart and it'll be as if it was just yesterday.

as Lando said they're much better off not being on the same team because they were juuuust on the cusp of the teammate rivalry not being fun anymore. I miss the challenges together but we'll always get carlando content anyway and won't have to see their relationship erode, fail and then heal but never be quite the same again (sorry but like w Daniel). it's also why the landoscar astrology reinforced everything we feel about Oscar being tailor made for Lando as a teammate.

ship/fic-centric stuff

let's get the rough stuff out of the way first: long term romance between Scorpio and Virgo is… tricky. especially both of them being men. I'll go ahead and say that they're much better off having a steamy hot affair for a while but then letting it settle into platonic but extremely deep friendship. you could easily have Lando's main love interest having to accept that Carlos has the same role w Lando that Lando does w Max F.

that being said! the sex is fire. Virgo Carlos would be a confirmed masc top (literally wants to do "power play") bc a feeling of control is so fundamental for him. Scorpio Lando would be raw arousal and want someone he could fully trust. he'd be over the moon to do anything and get as kinky as Virgo wanted.

Carlos would want to shower Lando with gifts and big expressions of love and adoration. while Lando would eat all of that up he wouldn't see it as the same as spending quality time together and sharing the same bed etc. definitely would need to be a chapter dedicated to communicating of needs etc.

Carlos would break very quickly in a secret relationship. it would sap him of everything he wants to bring and receive in a relationship. Lando wouldn't last much longer because his partner denying him romantic love in public would eat away at him. it would either end them or be a catalyst for deciding to be open and damn the consequences.

carlando angst is a whole other level because of how much they both want to remain bonded together. but there's also plenty of juicy fodder: miscommunication (Carlos' fault) jealousy (Lando's) possessiveness (Lando's) a need to be in charge (Carlos) lying for the other's protection (Carlos) wanting more freedom (Lando) caving to societal/familial pressure (Carlos) cheating born of passion or dissatisfaction (Lando) silent treatment (Lando) dismissal of feelings (Carlos) angry words that they wish they could unsay (both)

or the most complicated of all which would be Carlos VERY likely assigning Lando the "woman" role and being unable to have a romantic relationship not based on heterosexuality. don't worry he'd gay sex it up bc sex is His Thing but there'd be specific no-go things for him in bed. this is because of the whole rules obsession and occasional lack of emotional connection problems. this could go really sweet and involve negotiation and self-exploration or it could just be super kinky or it could be really angsty and lead to Carlos almost losing Lando entirely. just know that it'll need solid work shown to bring Carlos out of mainstream gender norms if he even does. he will resist efforts made to rattle the world he's built for himself. if it's dark fic that features social homophobia/internalized homophobia then it could be left as is rather than trying to fix it (as in, they're fighting for their lives or live in constant peril so their relationship doesn't get the attention it needs)

the power balance will always be in favor of Carlos so you'll need to take very good care of Lando and stay in his head most of the time for him not to lose himself completely. think of how Lando always mirrors the vibes of the men he is with at the moment and that a lot of carlando is Lando following Carlos like a puppy.

Carlos will never back down and won't have the capability to deal with fights but he will never EVER reject Lando. if he needs to walk away from a fight he'll state the fact first and do it as a way to clear his head. but he'll always come back. literally Lando could have walked away from him and married someone else but it would just take Carlos seeing his number calling for him to drop everything and be there for Lando like nothing had happened.

Carlos may need to hold all the cards but life without Lando is impossible for him. they'll either be intensely loyal friends in a multiship fic or on a steady track to Carlos putting a ring worth the gross national product of a small country on Lando's finger.

[ilaosi]

weird question, but since ur a zombie I need some help!

okay, so I'm writing about zombies and such and the actual physical symptoms of zombism are like vague. super vague.

I was wondering what your experience was?

idk wikipedia and all them are uselessssss, and I thought asking a zombie would just be easier than going and looking for 16th century whatevers.

so, if you don't mind what was it like? what sorts of symptoms did you have?

anyway thank you for reading your awesome!!!

omg hi im a bit late but this ask makes me so happy i love talking abt this stuff !!! :D i'd like to preface by saying i experience my kintypes in a way that sounds a lot like a past life but i don't consider that to be the case, i believe my memories are from some version of me in other universes/realities.

soo my response might not be the most helpful because i don't think i experience zombism in the way most ppl think of it? i wasn't infected or anything, i died a (somewhat) natural death & the next thing i knew i was kind of unknowingly digging myself out of my grave. i don't know how or why i was resurrected, if someone else did it, if i did it myself, if it was some kind of divine intervention, no clue. in the world i remember, zombies were a known phenomenon that hadn't yet been explained by science.

living people reacted to us in a lot of different ways, some kind of worshiped us and treated us like we were chosen by the gods or otherwise special, but most just thought it was weird/gross and tried to avoid us. a few ppl wanted to get rid of us because it was "unnatural and contagious" (it couldn't actually be transmitted like a disease, in my world at least), there was even a group of ppl who denied our existence entirely. it was also pretty common for medical students to (consensually, most of the time) practice their skills on zombies, kind of like they do in this world with corpses, but we were more convenient because it was really hard to kill us and we didn't really experience much pain, plus we could heal (to an extent), and we were pretty much immune to infection & other complications/side effects. i think it was also a way of gathering information for research since there wasn't much known about us or how/why we existed.

as for the symptoms & what it felt like - i remember when i first crawled out of the dirt the main thing i noticed was that my body was completely still. my heart didn't beat, the blood didn't flow in my veins, i didn't particularly feel the need to breathe or blink. i was just as disabled in that world as i am in this one, but after i died some of my disabilities didn't really affect me anymore. i wasn't in horrible pain in the way i usually am, i just felt like all of my skin was slightly bruised and there was a dull ache all over my body but it was easy to ignore, and my bones felt,, empty? my brainfog/dissociation got a lot worse though. all of my senses felt much more dull but i definitely still had them. it took more pressure for me to feel things touching my skin, my vision was cloudy and less colorful, i couldn't really smell or taste most things other than meat, blood, decay, dirt, mildew, etc. other smells/tastes would have to be really strong/intense for me to pick up on it at all. i was dead for about 3? days before i emerged, and i was buried in winter, so decomposition hadn't totally taken over yet. i did continue to decompose after that, but eventually i figured out that keeping myself fed (primarily with non-human brain matter & insects) would stop that process and sometimes even reverse the effects of it to an extent. if i went too long without feeding or if i fed on the wrong things too often i would feel really sick and my skin would get even more flaky. sometimes huge chunks of skin or even small body parts would fall off, but they could be successfully reattached by any doctor who was willing to work with zombies.

visually/appearance wise - i was more pale and my skin had a kind of light-grey-green-ish tint to it. the parts of me that fell off and had to be reattached ended up looking more purple-pink-ish for a while, but usually they'd go back to the grey-green color eventually. the whites of my eyes were more blue & my irises were dark grey. my veins were more visible through my skin and they were a lot darker, almost black. my natural hair color is brown and before i died i had my hair dyed black, afterwards the color just never faded and my hair didn't grow anymore so it didn't change much, but the areas where my roots were showing turned grey.

i can't rly think of any other specific things to talk about but if u have more questions or if u want more clarification on something i said here feel free to send another ask!!!

[cookiedough77]

PLEASEEEEEE IM DYING TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR OCSSSSS 🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐

oh my gah

well heres some... refrences i made a while back GAH I NEED TO DRAW MORE OF THEM UH UH UH

man ok so i put alot of their lore into a google doc ill just like copy and paste alot of it here:

Okok more of a deep dive on these guys because i wanna do more with them

OK JAY BACKSTORY

So initially, jays mom like wiped out a bunch of superheroes, like when jay was really young (he cant remember it) and shortly after, what very little heroes were left or heroes who were only “super” because of the gear they had, an order was created, to try and take her down

His entire life he was raised by his evil ass mom, mainly manipulating him inot thinking humans were bad (they are generally human but with so much magic into their system that they really arent anymore i guess, similar to like a vampire or a werewolf or something). Its not that jay didnt believe his mother but more of he knew something was wrong with what she was doing, how she was going about things

His mother was a wanted criminal for years, and she was mainly destructive or whatever because her husband died idk-

Im making this up as i go, her husband died from too much magic intake? Like he couldnt handle it, but jays mother blamed humanity because “they were the ones holding him back from his potential” 

Jay barely knew his father, so its not like he had a super connection to him

Now while he was growing up, he didnt actually see his mother attack superheros, mainly took her anger out on civilian, even then she didnt like kill them or anything. So he didnt see his mother as a bad person….. UNTIL 

A new superhero actually DID show up, or merely, one that was “taken down” and came back, and maybe or maybe not jays mother wanted him to kill whoever it was and hes like “uh NO????” she does it herself and jay immediately wants out of this, but he doesnt exactly have a choice, so he starts disobeying her for like a year, and then…

Another superhero shows up, a young one, a new one, a vulnerable one. Im not exactly sure how kylo and jay interact and stuff at first because i guess its the “beginning” not the backstory idk sooooooo save that for later!!!

Anyway well i guess kylos next which is complicated man

Gah you’ve heard about this, one of a bunch of orphans actually survived some mutation and that was kylo, who initially wasnt even given a name, kylos name shows up later

So because theres a “superhero shortage” the order decided instead of waiting, to just make more, no matter how, they just needed strong enough heroes to take down any threats, including jays mom, and yes i know i need a name for her

Now remember when i talked about kylo having “siblings” yeah so there are others, just none of the orphans, “failed attempts” before kylo, too much of the mutation so they're not really “usable” and they science people are trying their hardest to make them “work” they also dont see them as real people!!! Hahahaha

Anyway kylo was kinda like raised like this, usually isolated from the other attempts because she was “perfect” and it was mainly two scientists taking care of kylo, they were new, and didn’t have much experience in the field, kylo was their first “assignment” and btw idk they’re a couple, and when kylo turned 10 they both suggested before kylo going out and “being a superhero” that she should like interact with real people, she looked human enough, and she could blend in, and learn like basic empathy from other people/kids

The order approved this and those are basically kylos adoptive parents.

BUT not before wiping all of kylos memory!!! Hahah they’ve tested it out before, and decide to use it on kylo, to not mess with anything, and the memory just doesnt “go away” its like a polaroid camera and rolls of memories spills out, and they keep it safe, locked away

So kylo spends like 3 years homeschooled, and realizes that shes “different” than others (kylos parents didnt really explain anything to them (they werent allowed)). So she comes up with a dumb constume like all heros and decides to make good use out of it

This all leads up to the actual beginning of the story which is like i dont even know where to start but like i can tell you that kylo and jay team up, obviously jay has more experience with his abilities and is like the main person to take down his mother, but kylo definitely helps

The order “meets” kylo and lets her stay obviously, and jay… well they’re wary of him, and make him stay in the building (where the order resides) to keep an eye on him, and this is basically where jay stays until like hes 18

Jays “indenity” is quickly released to the public, an requirement from the order, and jay tries to do whatever they say to make him seem trustworthy (because he is, my poor boy), all while, kylo is instructed to not tell ANYONE who they are, and kylo follows the rules at first, but over the years she likes to challenge them alot.

Jay and kylo quickly become friends and trust eachother obviously uh uh, yeah, theirs other villains of course, and kylo and jay become friends even while civilians but kylo is told to “not get so close” but they try anyway bruh idk

A lot of things happen and ill probably draw some stuff out or talk about it because man theres so much up in this noggin and it yearns to be free

[doctorho]

Behind these words

Hello!!!! and surprise!!! this idea has been brewing in my mind for a While, and i FINALLY got to it!!

so, here it is: the fic i promised to write about this letter series by @buttermynutter (aka my take on what happens behind all those lovely letters. a little glimpse into the world we didn't see before!) i'm going to write something for all the letters, here's the first one <3 where we get some background, and start our story!

Viktor x gender neutral reader, 1.5k words, no warnings (well, talk about crimes and imprisonment, but that's it)

here is the first letter that this chapter is based on, check it out!

A letter from the Assistant to the Dean of Piltover Academy is not what you’re expecting. 

Honestly, after the week you’d been having, you would have been less surprised about a summons to court. Or, you know, straight to jail. 

The way the justice system of Zaun worked was complicated, corrupted, and well above your comprehension. As far as you were concerned, it was something that just happened to people – the wrong person hears about you, doesn’t like you or whatever it is you’re doing, and into Stillwater you go. 

Though you suppose they wouldn’t have sent a letter if they wanted you there. 

No, odds are they would have just showed up and dragged you in. 

You’d been a little too close to seeing exactly how that happened only a few days ago, and you still weren’t exactly sure how you’d gotten out of that. One of those someone important says something to someone else important type of deals, you supposed. 

Which…might explain why you’re suddenly getting letters from Piltover Academy now. 

In the span of the last week, you’d lost your job, damn near all your possessions, and been accused of a crime. Which…was stupid, and inconvenient, and debatable at best, for the record. But the accusation itself was enough to send your whole life spiraling into uncertain chaos, instead of the familiar, predictable chaos that life in Zaun typically was. 

You’d lost your job. You’d lost  almost everything you owned. Everything you built. Everything you spent years building. 

So, in other words, you lost your future. 

And you hadn’t even been doing any actual crimes. Or, well, it wasn’t exactly legal either, but that was only on a technicality, because the people that made the rules also happened to be the same people who wanted to keep their profits rolling and their workers poor enough to be desperate. 

And, you know. Is it really wrong to break the law if it’s to help people?

See, you’d been one of those workers, poor and desperate, your whole life. You had managed to land a factory job early, with quick fingers and the ability to sit still and solve problems all day. You were lucky that way.

No job in Zaun was safe, but yours wasn’t the worst out there, not by a mile. And it actually paid you enough to…get by. So even though it was a bit dangerous and, for the most part, kind of miserable and sort of boring, it was the thing that kept you, you know, fed. Made sure you had a roof over your head.  

So losing that job felt like having the floor be pulled out from under your feet. 

Of course, after that led to you being accused of your alleged crimes, not having a job magically became the smallest of your problems.

See – okay. Ironically, the job you had lost? The job you had gotten way-too-young by pure luck and practically just by throwing things at a wall and hoping something sticks?

Manufacturing air filtration systems for Piltover. 

It was just one of the many factories in Zaun, nothing special. It didn’t differ in any way from all the other jobs where people spent their days building thousands of identical parts every day. It was a job, and that was the point. It didn’t matter what you made, because you’d never get to see it finished anyway. You’d never get to see one in action past the testing station. And even if you did, you’d never get to own one. 

Except that when you spend that long manufacturing parts from something, you inevitably learn how to make them. That’s what they want, right? That you get good. You get fast, you get efficient, you make more parts in less time. You make more money for whoever it is that’s cashing in the cheques. 

And when you make thousands and thousands and thousands of something, day in and day out, for years – 

It gets boring. 

And when you get older, it gets annoying. Sure, you’d seen the unfairness when you were young, too, but now that you’re older? It was burning inside you, begging to be let out. You could see it so clearly; how you were spending your life making these, these shiny machines for the people up in Piltover, people who probably would never even spare a thought your way, and you and everyone around you were slowly choking. Being poisoned, because none of you could afford to own the things you were making. 

Ironic, indeed. 

It was infuriating.

The worst part wasn’t even that you were making them and not getting any for yourself.

The worst part was that you weren’t even allowed to take the parts that were discarded.

Trash, you weren’t even allowed to take the trash. You had to throw away perfectly good parts, because the people up in Piltover couldn’t have scratches in their paint jobs or dents in their metal, could they, no. Every time someone made the smallest mistake, the parts had to be thrown out, even though all of you knew that you could build something working out of them. 

And people were choking. 

People were dying. 

So, fine. Maybe you did fish a few components out of the trash before going home. But not to steal them – to make your own. 

The thing is, when you spend that long building something, you learn how it works. 

No, you didn’t steal their parts, even though that’s what they accused you of.

You simply copied the basic principle. How to clean air. You took the idea, and you tweaked it with what you had. What you could do. What you could get your hands on.

And you shared your prototypes and your ideas, in the quiet of the night, with the people close to you. Because they deserved to breathe, and if you knew how to make that happen – if you were spending your life building these things for other people – couldn’t you just as well help someone else along the way?

Sure. Yes, you could have handled things…better. You could have been more secretive. You could have, in retrospect, not used your home as a lab. You could have pretended you didn’t know anything. 

But by the time you were very publicly fired and all your possessions were confiscated, that seemed a bit pointless. 

The last few days had been an unreal blur, going from a stagnant life to this whole mess, losing everything, being kept in a jail cell not knowing what was going to happen – 

And then this. 

A letter from the Assistant to the Dean of Piltover Academy. Viktor. 

You’re not sure if that’s common practice, signing something this important with your first name. You hadn’t really ever been to a school like that, but at work no-one had used their first names – hell, you didn’t even use last names, everyone just had numbers, and the higher-ups had titles. 

There was something tempting, something incredibly human in the idea that maybe this was how things worked in Piltover. Maybe Viktor, the Assistant to the Dean, was just Viktor. Maybe you’d get to just be a person, too, instead of a number on a list, a cog in a machine.

It’s a careful, quiet, fragile sort of hope, but you can’t keep it from taking root in your chest.

When you read the letter, you half don’t even trust its contents. You keep waiting to wake up, find out this was just a dream, or worse, find that you're awake but that the letter was actually meant for someone else and not you. Have all this newborn hope be suffocated.

But you keep looking at the letter, and it keeps having your name on it, and you continue being exactly as awake as you've been all day.

It is real.

You’d never even been up there, nevertheless been invited. 

You didn’t know much about how things in Piltover worked, but you were under the impression that the Academy was…important. 

One of the shiny places that had never been a part of your world. One of the places  you’d never thought you’d get to touch.

Except. Except now, you weren’t just invited, you were accepted into the Academy. You hadn’t even applied, and you were accepted. 

A part of you kept thinking it must be a mistake, or even worse, a trap of some sort, even though that didn’t really make sense. 

The letter had your name on it. 

And something – or someone – had gotten you out of your path to Stillwater. 

And now you were being asked to attend the Academy.

That was something you never thought you would do – could do – but now that the opportunity was offered? You didn’t even need to consider it.

Your life in Zaun had gone up in flames, and you were more than ready to leave all of it behind.

You didn’t have a job, you didn’t have a future, you didn’t really even have a home anymore now that everything in your lab had been taken. 

And this felt like an offer at a fresh start. A new life. A way out.

So you pack what little you had left, and you leave, holding the letter tightly, like a lifeline.

Tags: @writingmysanity

[sunsetshifting]

hello! i have a question, can you explain clones and how they work?

(Answering the oldest asks first! Please forgive any unclear bits, I wrote this right before I took my little break~)

Sure! Sorry this took so long, I was having a break from the blog to deal with some IRL stress <3 yk how it is haha. Regardless, I’m happy to share my thoughts on the topic!

Clones are quite the contentious topic within the shifting community, but I’ll do my best to explain it, anyway~

'Clone' is a non-literal term for the version of oneself that remains after you've shifted.

They are, all things considered, just another version of your consciousness.

But how does something like that even work?

.

As stated earlier, the version of you that remains after you've shifted out of this reality is often referred to as a 'clone', though that's not an entirely genuine name for what they truly are!

Your consciousness is infinite, spread across the equally infinite multiverse of existence. Each version of you, across any reality, has a consciousness just like your own (When shifting, we actually merge with our DR self's consciousness, rather than taking it over/filling out an empty spot! Pretty cool, huh?) As such, when you shift out of this reality, something has to fill in the gap. This is where 'clones' come in!

Clones are, in truth, just other versions of oneself. Given the infinite nature of one's own consciousness, it's not too hard to leave behind another version of it to take care of things in your absence.

(For lack of a better example, think of your consciousness as an infinite water source (the 2x2 sort) in Minecraft. No matter how many buckets you take out (or universes you spread yourself across), there is always more to replenish it.)

.

So now we know what clones are, technically, but what do they do?

Well, they do whatever you would’ve done! Your clone is literally just you. If you would’ve spent all day playing videogames, so would they. If you’d normally be working or doing chores, they aren’t going to flake on them just because you’re not there to witness it.

Sunny, it can’t be that simple- and yet it is.

Clones are one of the woefully over-complicated topics of the shifting community, and something people tend to focus on way too much at the start of their journey (not that I’m discouraging asking questions! Quite the opposite!) They are also one of the topics that tend to get quite a lot of misinformation spread about them, which I’m happy to help clear up^^

As such, I’ve got a little FAQ here to assist!~

.

FAQs

Why are they even called 'clones'? (And is there a better term for them?)

Though I’m not 100% certain on where the term originated, my best guess would be early shifttok (think the Draco shifttok era.) Most likely, someone came up with the term off-handedly, not intending for it to be the official term (or generally not thinking too hard on it), and it simply stuck with the community long-term.

As for there being a better term, it sort of depends on who you ask! Some people just call them other selves, some people don’t give them a name, it’s really up to the individual. Personally, I only refer to them as ‘clones’ within the confines of the script, and when discussing them outside of that context, I refer to them as “other selves” or just “me”.

.

What happens to them when you/I shift back?

Same thing that happens when you shift to your DR! You merge with your ‘clone’/other self. This is why you end up with all the memories that your ‘clone’ had created in your absence (if you were gone long enough for them to go around and do things.)

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Am I a clone?

If you’ve got the wherewithal to question this, then the answer is probably no. Were the answer to be yes, it still wouldn’t matter, as clones can still shift, and are equally as valid as the other consciousness that they split off of.

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Can I script changes to my ‘clone’?

Unless you’re manifesting in addition to everything else, then the answer is probably no. That is, unless you plan on shifting to a new “base” reality (aka a new CR), wherein you could reasonably script whatever you liked.

If you plan on returning to your regular CR/OR, though, then the answer is no. If you wouldn’t normally get straight A’s or workout daily, then scripting that your clone will won’t do anything, as they have just as much free will (and motivation to do those things) as you do.

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Does my 'clone' know that I've shifted?

For some reason, this seems to be an extremely contentious question within the shifting community. To keep things simple, it seems to vary from person to person. Some shifters claim that their clones are aware enough to write down various things about their shift, some shifters claim that their clone had no idea. Personally, I was asleep for my whole mini-shift, so my clone didn’t really have the time to do/think anything. (I will happily update this section once I’ve fully shifted, however!~)

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I hope those answers helped in some capacity! Like I said, I wrote this all right before I took my break, so it might be a little fuzzy. I was pretty tired that day :<

I'll be getting around to all the other asks in my inbox (8 in total) within the next few days! (Today included!) I'm attending a birthday party later today, so I won't be back for a good few hours, but once I am, I'll get right to work on those asks! If I find the time, I'll try to work on them while I'm at the party!~ (If anyone's curious, it was my nephew's second birthday a week ago! This is his second party, as my dad couldn't attend the first one, so it's a lot smaller and more casual :3c)

Happy to be back! And as always-

<3 Happy Shifting! <3

[transgenderer]

can you... expand on that (tlt not being about imperialism)

Elaborate, plz? I'd like to hear more of your tlt opinions

Can you elaborate on the TLT thing with regards of imperialism? I’m not familiar with the series, but I don’t care about spoilers and I want to hear your thoughts on it.

okay so sorry to the third person but i dont want to explain tlt lore so im just gonna assume people know tlt lore. anyway the empire just...doesnt make any sense? which is fine, its not about imperialism. but like, its not clear what exactly the empire is trying to achieve, how its enriching the metropole, etc. its not even clear WHO the empire is fighting? like, we see them occupy territory in NtN but we know that the empire is almost entirely devoted to warfare and yet who that warfare is against is unclear. they move the populations around for like no reason?

i mean, my very loose guess at whats going on is that tLT is actually a critique of extraction-based economic systems (i.e. every economic system since the beginning of time, call me when your premodern society isnt consuming a fixed and irreplaceable quantity of rock), for allegorical magic reasons the biosphere on the nine houses is fucked so theyre almost entirely depend on mining and such, i guess they ran out of material to extract in the solar system (i mean, it is thousands of years later), and so they acquire other planets to mine (plus farm? unclear) them to smithereens (this seems to be described pretty explicitly in NtN), the necromancy means ecological devastation is at megaspeed, the war theyre fighting is over natural resources. obviously itd just be cheaper and easier to extract from uninhabited planets but maybe they need the billionare descendants as like, labor?

so anyway this is bad because 1) "we will run out of resources to extract one day" is, while technically true, kind of a stupid argument imo. like yes obviously eventually, but like, its not modern luxury or whatever that relies on mining, its like...literally bronze age (technically stone age) technology that relies on mining. and a pre bronze age life sucks. and you could make the argument that while yes we could be using it more efficiently, entropy is against us so no matter what you do youll run out *eventually*. so like, then what? you have to make an argument that its running out *soon*, and those are dubious imo, and

2) real life empires were not about extracting natural resources! i mean they were a little. but they mostly werent. the motivations for empire were/are complicated but like, economy is not just "more natural resources good, less natural resources bad", the economy is mostly social and infrastructural wealth, which is complicated to maintain. so again, bad critique of empire.

3) but most importantly, tLT is run by an immortal superpowered godking, and as such the politics in world are totally alien to ours. like, in our world institutions and incentives overwhelm human motives both because humans alone are very weak, theyre only significantly powerful insofar as they can control other humans (or tech), and then also because humans are mortal so institutions outlive them. but tLT doesnt work like that at all, so its capability to be coherent commentary on earth politics is pretty hobbled? which is why it isnt, its a story about its characters, who are complex and whose actions are important on the scale of the characters we know. like yeah jod killed billions but because of the way fiction works this is not the important thing about jod, the important thing is how he treats people we see, which is much more nuanced and complex (alhtough still bad)

uhhhh i had more points. the state of tech in the nine houses is really silly, i know its tied to the resource stuff but it doesnt really make sense anyway. like, tech helps you get more resources. also the nine houses are very short on labor which prioritizes technology. and necromancy doesnt seem to replace technology that well, its pretty limited, esp cuz a single necromancer can only control like, what, ten constructs tops? also the idea of a war-centric economy for thousands of years is really silly. like its just totally infeasible. its fine! the worldbuilding is meant to be evocative and work on first glance, not be a totally functioning system, and it isnt

[running-in-the-dark]

I've got more to say on that post (tw I'm insane I don't know what to tag this as its just. mental illness man idk.)

I'm really, really glad that other people apparently really don't know what it's like to feel like that. like you're not allowed to think certain things or that thinking them makes you bad.

because fuck I wish that was me.

I find it almost impossible to talk about this but I'm trying because I've found it's really the only thing that helps a little bit - and it feels like literal torture, like. I am having to actively fight every instinct in my head to be able to type any of it.

but. just. man I just can't. sometimes I can do it, but sometimes it's like now and I get so panicked about it that all the words just fucking disappear. literally can't talk about it.

okay, I'll try a different way. so. I get extremely obsessed with fictional characters (which you know if you've ever looked at this blog because duh). obviously that means I think about them. a lot. all the time really. and it's. it is really really hard, honestly. just like. imagine having to basically check every. little. thought. to see if there's anything there that could make you a bad person.

again, can't go into any more detail because My Brain (probably should stop saying that, I guess it's like, part of the ocd tendencies I have or whatever) won't fucking let me.

so, I'm trying to work on that, and for some reason I'm doing that by writing it down instead. because then I have like, the option to go back and look at it and be like actually this is probably fine. not horrible, not the worst thing anyone has ever thought, and even if it was - no one but me is ever going to see this, so why should it even matter?

but more than anything it's like. shown me how fucking insane that is. I literally can't even write so much as like. a hug. without feeling like I'm the most disgusting piece of shit ever (lots of complicated reasons but it boils down to basically. well you're thinking about his body. and that his body would feel nice. and that is absolutely not allowed in any way). when I've said that I'm writing some insane shit I don't mean like haha, this is sooo dirty hehe :3 no guys I mean it is literally insane and mostly me literally having to write paragraphs of dialogue in which the character assures me that it's okay and I'm not horrible for thinking that and. like I'm literally writing him as if he's my fucking therapist because that's the only way I can justify it in my own head.

like, I am not exaggerating when I say that I've made myself feel like I'm physically ill from overthinking this so much. I literally felt like I had a fever because I got so extremely stressed out about it. I think that was about like. holding hands or some shit. I'm 32 fucking years old. I'm literally married (won't even get into that but fuck dude just imagine being like this and. yeah).

and the funniest part about all of that is that I feel so unbelievably ashamed about all of it that I don't think I could even mention it to a therapist or whatever. like the thought alone is so absolutely horrifying that it makes me feel like I need to be punished for it. so I just convince myself that well it can't really be OCD anyway because I don't even have compulsions anymore (even though I did, and they affected my life so much for like, 15 years at least), and well even if it could still be that even without the compulsions well it's not that bad really. I mean I don't have the issues that people with actual OCD have, it doesn't really affect me, so what if I can't think about fucking that fictional guy, imagine how much a therapist would laugh at you for thinking you should get help with that, nope your brain is just fundamentally broken (it's always been that way after all, so it can't be something like that, no you're just broken and wrong and that's why all your thoughts are bad, you're just the worst person on Earth).

I can't explain how hard it is to even like. just talk about the most mundane shit. like let's say there's a picture of The Guy and I think he looks good. it's such a struggle to let myself say that. like literally, something as fucking basic as that. literally anything that is an admission of 'hi I've thought about his face and his body and I think they look kind of nice' makes me feel like I should literally die. that's why I've been trying to say that shit as much as I can lately, with the reasoning being well if I just keep doing it and nothing horrible happens it'll get easier right? (nope it doesn't, not really)

and like, there's so much more to it than social media, obviously. like it's probably 99% my upbringing (didn't even fucking realise until very recently that a lot of it is based on religious stuff because I didn't understand that my family was even that religious. yeah I don't get it either. but there's way more than the religion aspect, just pretty much everything about my childhood and my parents and. everything). but it does play a huge part in it for me and. I don't know what to do about that and I'll probably do nothing because doing anything is hard and I'm already completely overwhelmed by everything.

yeah idk all of that came from thinking about that video too much, idk, I'm shutting up now

[strayruway]

Ramblings of a fool | vent

Im tired. Im so fucking tired. One hour into the new year and im so tired. Im done. I love fireworks and i felt the need to smile at them. I try explaining to myself that i dont have to express my emotions over the top like i usually do but i try anyways cuz thats what most people expect from me anymore. If i were to just express myself as muted as i often feel i worry i come off as an asshole or that the person im supposed to be emoting to (?) Will feel less than what i mean to express.

I cant tell if im physically tired or emotionally tired. I dont want to be here. Ill be 19 in 3 months and i was planning on being not here last year.

I wanted to move out last year. The winter before last. The winter of 21 is when i wanted to be out of germany and in america. That was the plan why am i still here.

Im so tired.

Im *so* tired.

I should go to bed but i know ill just bully myself to sleep.

Can i just die or is that too dramatic?

I just want to be with her.

I miss her so much. I love her so much i just want to be by her side for the rest of ever and never leave. Shes my favorite person why cant i be with her. Why is my most important person on the other side of the planet. She so far away i miss her so much.

Why cant i do anything right. Im so useless im still with my parents this was not the plan.

Fantastic way to start this year this is... trying to smile at that which i love, crying and rambling to the internet...

Why *are* you reading this?

Nevermind.

Im so scared. Im *so* scared.

I want to move on with my life but adhd and having gone to a foreign school makes life so hard. Things are twelve tines more complicated than they need to be and then i screw up certain things and just muck things up even worse than they need to be.

Im not even certain about the path im choosing.

Im cute. I know i am. I look like a literal child and specific people treat me so. People like to act like i dont ever know what im talking about and thats affected how i think horribly. Im not stupid. I know what im talking about please just trust my knowledge. Why do i have to justify myself. Ill just sit here all cute n quiet. Cant get mad at me if i just follow what you say all cute n sweet with just a chipper hum in agreement. Why think when you can think for me. Why have my own oppinion when youll just tell me im wrong and belittle me when you do allow me to try and defend or explain myself.

I dont know what i want cuz im just so used to nodding along and accepting whatever comes my way. Ill figure it out anyways so what does it matter. Surprise me. Just always surprise me ill figure it out and ill just be fine dont worry about me.

Dont.

Just dont.

I wont ask for help but that doesnt mean ill turn any help down. Give me something to work with. Anything. Ill figure it out. I always do. Its fine dont worry.

If im not out of here or at the very least have a date before the end of march im either killing myself or moving out.

Whichever sounds most enticing at the time i guess.

Dont take my threats seriously. Im too much of a fucking coward to go through with them.

Happy new year.

[harrowharkboygf]

rating the locked tomb characters by how good their met gala outfits would be

gideon nav

we can surmise from the “rapier with skulls puking other skulls” quote that gideon’s personal style, if she wasn’t beholden to the ninth house dress code, would be Loud and Tacky and A Lot. therefore, i think she’ll go all out with the theme. her outfit might not look objectively good per se — it will probably be a little too excessive and not super classy — but she will absolutely fulfill the theme and she will have fun, and that’s the most important part! 9/10

harrowhark nonagesimus

oh harrow will go all in on this. she will definitely be of the opinion that all guests should have to submit an essay explaining exactly how their outfit fits the theme, and she absolutely will get annoyed at the people who just wore simple black tuxes and dresses. she‘ll start planning her outfit months in advance, and it’s going to be incredibly complicated and very symbolic. her outfit is probably be a lot creepier and more goth than the rest of the guests, but it’ll still go perfectly with the theme anyways. 10/10

ortus nigenad

how much effort ortus puts into his outfit will depend SOLELY on what the theme was. if he thinks it’s a stupid theme he’ll put in zero energy whatsoever, and if he thinks it’s a good theme he will put in the work and come out with an outfit that’s definitely creative, even if it doesn’t look super great and is a little bit of a stretch on the theme. 7/10

judith deuteros

judith definitely does not care. she does not care at all, and if you asked her what the theme was, she couldn’t even tell you. she wears a simple black tux or black dress every year, and yes she looks hot as fuck and very classy and all of the gay girls on twitter go wild over it, but it’s not particularly creative or befitting of the theme. 3/10

marta dyas

marta cares a lot more than judith does, but she still focuses more on the event itself than the outfit; she’s more excited to dance, talk with her friends and acquaintances, and see other people’s outfits. if the met gala didn’t have a theme, she’d still be happy, but since it does, she’ll try to fit the theme as best she can! she refuses to sacrifice her own comfort or ability to dance in favor of an outfit though, which is very fair of her. no matter what, though, she looks good! 6/10

coronabeth tridentarius

oh you KNOW corona is acing this. she starts planning for her outfit a year in advance, but unlike harrow, she’s way less pretentious about it and willing to do something that might make fun of herself a little or make others laugh. she makes sure to call everyone she knows who’s going to make sure that their outfits won’t be too similar. she also makes sure that ianthe and babs’ outfits go good with hers. it’s the bane of her existence that judith won’t go to the lengths that she does. she fits the theme perfectly, she’s creative about it, and she looks hot as fuck. 100/10

ianthe tridentarius

as mentioned above, ianthe’s outfit is always designed to fit with coronabeth’s. it’s always very similar — not quite the same, but very close. same idea, slightly different execution. it’s always fitting with the theme, and looks really good objectively, but there’s a lack of investment and heart that ruins it a bit, especially next to corona’s extravaganza. still, when she’s next to the other guests, she definitely wins. 8/10

naberius tern

babs cares WAY more about looking good than he does about fitting the theme. his outfit is always a lot less creative than and themed than ianthe’s and corona’s. he never sidesteps the theme entirely, but he often refuses to go all the way in favor of not looking too weird. this is kind of a moot point, since he always looks a little weird anyway. 5.5/10

isaac tettares & jeannemary chatur

the awful teens were coordinating outfits each year, and each year they desperately want to fit the theme and do something cool, but they’re a little TOO eager about it. there’s always either a little bit too much going on with their outfits for the message to be fully cohesive, OR they didn’t go all the way because they were too embarrassed to do so. however, they definitely try their best and that’s what matters! 7.5/10

abigail pent & magnus quinn

abigail and magnus treat the met gala like a halloween party. they’re committed to the theme, but not in the militant, obsessive way that harrow and coronabeth are — it’s more that they have fun planning their coordinating outfits because costumes are fun! often their take on the theme is very nerdy and sweet, but maybe not super well done. still, they compliment everyone on their outfits and are so genuine about it that they get points anyway. 7/10

palamedes sextus

pal could honestly care less about the met gala, but he attends anyway and spends the whole night deep in conversation with anyone who will talk science with him. as such, his outfit is. Very Lacking. cam usually designs it for him and it fits the theme pretty well and looks objectively good, but he gets points off for not coming up with it himself. 5/10

camilla hect

pal and cam don’t wear coordinated outfits, but they are still somewhat cohesive, as cam plans them both. camilla’s outfit is definitely much better than palamedes’ is — it fits the theme and is more creative and she just generally looks hotter. however, she’s not putting the same level of energy most of the people listed above. but it’s fun, it looks good, and she passes the test. 7/10

dulcinea septimus

dulcie’s attitude towards the met gala would be very similar to magnus and abigail’s in that she treats it like a fun opportunity rather than a life-or-death situation, but she definitely leans more “tasteful” over magnus and abigail’s typical style of “dorky”. she follows the theme closely and she looks good! 8/10

protesilaus ebdoma

pro always goes with dulcie, and he just dresses in an outfit that she’s planned to be coordinated with hers. he’s a little bemused at the intensity of some of the others, but he goes along with the whole thing because it makes dulcie happy. points off for not coming up with his own idea, points added for looking very dashing regardless. ortus is fuming at how well-put-together his outfit is. 5/10

silas octakiseron

silas shares the same all-or-nothing attitude that ortus has towards the theme, but when he approves of the theme, his execution comes very close to beating out harrow’s outfit in terms of Drama and Sophistication. his outfits are often a little impractical — they’re hard to walk in or require elaborate props to be transported alongside him — but they’re worth it. 9/10

colum asht

colum just wears a suit the same color as whatever silas’ outfit is that year. boring! 2/10

augustine the first

augustine tries his hardest, but he never quite nails the theme. somehow, it always goes straight over his head, so when he explains it to people, they’re always like “*confused head tilt* hmmm, okay now i think i get it! huh!” he looks,,, fine in it, and he tries. he tries! 4/10

mercymorn the first

mercy’s sense of style in general is very good, so she always comes in a dress that’s fashionable and well-designed. the problem is that she actively abhors the idea of a themed party; she actively campaigns to the organizers each year to not do a theme. she thinks that everyone who does the theme is ridiculous. as such, she ends up with a low 3/10

cytherea the first

cytherea has a good Idea for the met gala every year, but for some reason — she bites off more than she can chew or she fails to accurately articulate her vision or she procrastinates until the last minute — that idea never translates into an actual outfit, so she always falls back on a simple, soft clinging dress. fashionable, but unfortunately not very standout-ish. 3.5/10

gideon the first

gideon (original flavor) just wears a boring black suit every year. THE most boring black suit ever. 1/10

pyrrha dve

okay, admittedly we haven’t seen that much of pyrrha in canon, but from what we do know, she is smart and talented and funny and good at everything and has a dramatic streak and is incredibly hot. therefore, i think we can surmise that she’ll absolutely nail her met gala outfit. it’ll fit the theme, it’ll be very original and very well-done, and she’ll be sexy as fuck! good for her! 15/10

john gaius

he wears the exact same black tux every year. the same one. he pays no attention to the theme whatsoever. this is very confusing, since HE is the one who organizes the met gala and picks the theme! weirdo! even worse, john makes a point to give backhanded compliments to people he thinks don’t fit the theme or don’t look good. bitch! -10/10

[theveryworstthing]

it’s time for part 2 of the zodiac based Carot cards. Horn cards are horizontal instead of vertical because they’re meant to be placed above the three other suites which lay side by side. the last two suites are tentatively named the Travelers and the Island and now that i know what direction i want to take with them i’ll hopefully get through those in between work. anyway, here’s some lore.

Horn Signs

Horn signs are the second half of the rabbit/hare zodiac system. When a rabbit or hare is born they have sharp little starter horns encased in rubbery membranes that fall off soon after birth. These horns will eventually shed in a process similar to teething when they get older, but before that they’re basically baby’s first shank. A nasty natural surprise for any predator looking for an easy meal or any parent who gets too tired to keep track of the pointy bits on their child.

Your horn sign correlates to how many points your birth horns had. Again, no one takes this seriously lest people start catching their death of prophesy. But since horn points are the way that many parents initially tell kits apart in litters where they look very similar, it’s fun to joke about.

The Horn Suite

1 The Cut Worm: luck, brushes with disaster, and hope. This sign is very rare because to qualify for it you would either have a second horn so small that it’s just a bump on the skull under the skin, or you wouldn’t be born with a second horn at all. While the odd super stubby horn shows up once in a blue moon, missing either horn completely is a sign that the kit is missing pieces of skull, which makes this birth defect life threatening at best.

Some see the Worm as the simple ‘dodged a bullet’ sign and think of it as a totally positive symbol of natural good luck/perseverance. And it can be! But dodging a bullet still means you had to get shot at in the first place, and it doesn’t mean other less fatal bullets don’t hit. Bullets have a tendency to travel in packs. This makes the Worm a complicated sign. It is scars and struggle and survivor’s guilt, but also joy and absolute cussedness when it comes to comes to life. If the universe wants them dead then it can come over and do it itself. Oooh~ you gonna let biology try to do your dirty work? Fuckin’ coward.

2 The Message: curiosity, knowledge, and questions about yourself. Message signs are very introspective. And outrospective. Just spective all over really. What are you willing to do to obtain knowledge? How free you are with information in general? Do you keep all thoughts to yourself? Do you gossip constantly? How good are you at reining in your curiosity? Would it literally kill you to mind your own business?

3 The Sea Hare: seeking and accepting the truth no matter how weird. These signs are believers, dreamers, and realists all at once. The vaguest sign. Weird things always seem to happen to them. Or maybe it’s not that weird things are always happening to them but that they notice and accept the weird things that happen to everyone else as real instead of brushing it off as dreams or tricks of the light. They hate liars or people who embellish facts for whatever reason because they believe that truth is always stranger and more interesting than fiction.

4 The Cocoon: change and liminality. The world is an ever shifting mess and Cocoon signs are more apt to revel in and pay attention to the strange in between spaces. These rabbits are always on journeys. Physical, intellectual, spiritual, whatever, what many would consider destinations end up be rest stops for them before they wander back into the liminal spaces that call to them.

5 The Pepper: navigating risk for personal pleasure. Will this plant get you super high or kill you? Is this person dangerous or just exciting? Are the odds in your favor? Let’s find out. Pepper signs are willing to at least entertain the ideas for a lot of risky business if they think something wonderful can come from it. The ‘take chances, make mistakes, and get messy!’ sign. Their level of common sense usually determines life expectancy (which is true for all creatures but ESPECIALLY these rabbits good lord).

6 The Fungi: personal relationships and connection. Fungi signs are always seeking real connection. If they like you and you show them love and or respect they’re ride or die for you. Good at reading people and figuring out what makes them tick, they can either be the important connective tissue in any community or manipulators who can woo anyone to their side. Depends on how much of an asshole they are.

7 The Hawk Pyre: healing and cycles. When a hawk dies, it burns and burns until there’s nothing but ash and a tiny egg. Rabbits believe this cycle happens endlessly, that the same hawks have had endless lives in endless cycles since hawks turned up in the world. Rabbits under the Hawk sign are very in tune with the cycles of the world. The cycle of seasons, aging, crops, mistakes, fashion, abuse, ect, it’s all patterns. Patterns that they’re good at spotting, flowing with, and breaking. Need someone to help you get your life back together after a tragedy or give pretty good weather forecasts? Ask a Hawk sign! Or don’t, because none of this is real.

8 The Lantern: knowing what is actually worth spending time being worried about. Not everything in the dark is a monster, but that doesn’t mean warning signs are to be ignored. Lantern signs are good at reading situations, especially when it comes to danger and opportunity. They’re good advisers and listeners, able to make connections easily and take many things into consideration at once. Rabbits joke that good warren leaders are usually Lanterns and shitty ones have had their candles blown out long ago.

The Void (2 of these): either something is horribly wrong or everything is fine. I don’t have to explain which card means what, that’s obvious right? Right?

[ipaaciir]

How do I get good grades?

[ID: A banner that reads "Study tips" in all caps in pale green color, with pale yellow background and a geometric pattern in pale green in the corners. End ID].

If there's something I've learned from getting straight A's at school and university is that it's less about what you know and more about what your habits and skills are.

Look, I have this classmate who is always reading advanced books, listening to podcasts, and watching conferences. She knows A LOT. But this adorable person doesn't do homework, when she does, it's late or poorly done. Her comments in class are lacking coherence and her essays are badly referenced. All of this just lower her grades.

So what can she do? How do I get good grades?

[Disclaimer: these tips are based on my own experiences and observations as I study a social science and some of the things that worked for my in high school, I've also helped my classmate but these tips might not apply to you].

1. Strengthen your language four basic skills.

If you study languages you know we have to practice four skills: reading, writing, listening and speaking. Well, it's not very different for your native language. After all, is with language that we're able to communicate, share ideas and knowledge. You know... like, everything we learn at school (and more).

a. Reading: If you don't know a word, underline it, search the meaning and write it at the margin of the text, on a post it, or in your notebook. Underline main ideas and take notes or write a summary. This will help you not only for better understanding or studying, but also to participate during class. If you need to, read out loud and/or try to explain each paragraph. This is helpful for very complex text. Doing a diagram works too!

b. Writing: Learning how to express our ideas in the written form is... weird. I seriously don't understand why on earth we can't write just like we speak. Why do we must write differently? Is it such a crime? (I mean, I know why, I just find it so interesting and funny). Anyway, must teachers' corrections are like "uSe sYnOnYmS", "bReAk YoUr PaRaGrApHs", "cOnNeCt YoUr IdEaS", "aRgUmEnT mOrE", "UsE aPa CiTaTiOn". So, yeah, follow those comments... I'll try to make a post on how to improve your writing.

c. Listening: Pay. Attention. To. Your. Teacher. I know it's hard, I know some people have a lot of difficulties because of ADHD or other learning disabilities. I can't speak for that, but what works for me is to doodle or embroider, sometimes being on Pinterest works too. Just doing something that requires low cognitive effort while I listen to the teacher keeps me on the class without getting lost in my mind. Even if you didn't do the reading, if you listen to your teacher (and classmates) you'll be able to participate.

d. Speaking. I think many people can imagine how frustrating it is to watch a presentation by your classmates and that they just... don't know how to present?? (it's even more frustrating when you know this people want to become teachers). Practice in the mirror, practice with your pet, practice in the shower, practice everyday. Remember the "explain each paragraph from the reading"? Yeah. When you can explain something it means you understand it. So try to explain everything you learn, everything you understand. Even just chatting with your friends, family, about it. This will also help you to participate in class. The other day a friend of mine just randomly shared her screen and started explaining the bacteria that causes tuberculosis to me... I don't know anything about medicine but I still learned a lot because she knows how to lower her knowledge. Practice. Practice 40hrs a day.

2. Organization.

a. Have a schedule. Set alarms for everything if you must. Look, I forget to eat, literally. I focus so much on what I'm doing that I tell my stomach to stop being annoying and he just... listens to me?? He's like "oh, okay, finish what you're doing and when you're done just tell me and we can go to grab some food". So, I set an alarm to eat, to shower, to have dinner, etc.

b. Color code!! Color coding is my best friend since I was in preschool. Assign a color to each subject. My notebooks or folders are classified by color. My schedule has the corresponding colors. My Trello has tags by color. My folders on the cloud and on my computer have colors. This way I don't mess up things.

c. Agenda. Write all of your assignments (with color code if you can) and everything on an agenda, to-do list, calendar, etc. Whatever works for you, but be conscious of all of your assignments. There was a point when I was in high school that I no longer used the agenda. I would write the homework and never look at it again, I just memorized (by accident) all of my assignments. I seriously don't get how no one noticed I had a big problem called anxiety. Before the modern plague I used a regular week by week agenda and it's what best works for me. I switched to a day by day agenda for a while... A nightmare. Fortnight by fortnight... Anxiety trigger. Now I use Trello since I have to do almost everything on digital.

d. Digital files. You must have well organized digital files on the cloud. I use my color code and my folders go like "university -> semester -> subject". I add a folder for each unit when I have many files. So inside "subject" or inside each "unit" folder I have "readings" and "homework". File names go like "1. Author - Title" for readings and "1. Type of homework (aka essay, diagram, synthesis, etc.) - Author/Title".

3. Discipline

If you don't do what you must when you must... It doesn't work, no matter how organized you are or how smart you are. As I said, my classmate learns a lot outside of school but she doesn't do her homework. I read just the absolute necessary (which I know is not ideal) but I have straight A's. To build habits is complicated, it will be hard but not impossible. Doing a bit is better than nothing. But keep doing stuff.

I have this friend who's very smart but procrastinates a lot, and she still gets straight A's. How? She does things when she needs to. Even 4 hours before the due date but she gets things done because she knows don't completing an assignment will lower her grades.

4. I don't want to do this specific assignment

When I don't find the energy or just want to avoid to do a specific assignment or advance on my projects, I... you're gonna call me nerd and you'll be on the right... I do other homework. Specially on finals. I just don't want to do a certain project and I go "well, what else do I have to do... Okay, this seems easy". And there you got me three days before the important due date with all of my homework for the day after done and the important thing just laying there... BUT, it does help!

That's it for now, I hope they help!

[kerasines]

GIF Tutorial for Beginners

People keep asking me to teach them how to make gifs and I end up writing them long confusing messages, so I figured maybe it’s time to just write up an actual clean tutorial instead! This is supposed to be for total beginners! (Or people who want to switch to a new process that I’ve curated and streamlined over 8 years of making gifs.) I’ll try to keep this as barebones as possible, and won’t include all the advanced stuff I usually add. I hope it’s easy enough to follow, and I’ll include some links at the end for more stuff. I really do think it’s better to make a few simple gifs before doing more complicated stuff though, just to get used to it!

There will be three sections in this tutorial: #1 Basics - How to make a gif in PS at all #2 Sharpen - How to use sharpen/denoise filters in an easy way #3 Colouring - Just a few very basic adjustment layers

What you need:

A video (most common formats should work, although .mkv doesn’t always)

Photoshop (I use PS CC 2018 - this one because I'm morally opposed to Adobe’s subscription model - but versions aren’t super different from each other)

In the end, you should hopefully be able to make something like this:

This is gonna be so long. Sorry. You can make a gif with just part #1! The rest is just to make it look better.

#1 Basics

If any of the tools/functions aren’t where they should be for you, your best bet is googling it, you might need to change something in your preferences!

Make sure to save your PS file... often. PS has a tendency to crash, especially on laptops.

First, you need to get the video file. I recommend a shorter video, a few minutes long, if it’s longer you might want to cut it into shorter parts beforehand. This is just because PS’s video import tool sucks.

I chose the Butter MV, specifically Jungkook’s body roll at 1:24 because that’s what I want to look at for the duration of this tutorial. No further questions, thanks.

1. Open PS, go to File > Import > Video Frames to Layers

2. In the little pop-up, choose the part of the video that you want to gif. This will import every frame of the video into PS as a layer, so it has to be a relatively short part, or it’ll take ages (and gifs can’t be that big anyway). Now you can also see why it’s almost impossible to select the correct part if the video is too long.

The little controls at the bottom are for trimming, the one in the middle just for the preview. Make sure “Make Frame Animation” is selected! Then click OK.

3. Now you have your layers, and you have a frame animation! On the right are your layers, that’s where we’ll apply the colouring etc. later on. On the bottom, that’s your timeline or frame animation - that’s what the gif will be in the end! So if you delete frames, the layers will still be there, but they won’t show up in the gif. If you click on a frame, you can see the little eye checkmark on the layer that’s currently visible.

4. The timeline controls at the bottom that are relevant right now: set to “forever” so the gif will loop, you can play the animation with the play button, and you can delete the selected frame(s). The number on each frame is the speed of the gif, depending on the video I usually set it to 0.05 or 0.06 (photoshop lies to you when you play the animation, the only way to test this is to open the finished gif, preferably on tumblr or wherever you want to upload it).

5. As you can see, the animation starts a bit before the actual part that I want, so go ahead and delete all the frames in the animation that you don’t want! You can delete the corresponding layers too if you want, to make the PS file smaller, but it has no influence on the gif. (Hold Shift to select multiple frames as usual)

6. Next, we’re gonna crop the gif however we want! You can do this with the crop tool in the left sidebar, but with gifs like this where there’s a lot of moving parts, I sometimes just use the selection tool in the left sidebar, like so:

When you click on different frames, the selection stays, and you can check to make sure Jungkook doesn’t suddenly go out of frame if you crop it like that!

At this point, make sure the selection/crop isn’t smaller than you want the gif to be! For tumblr, what matters is the width (in pixels) of gifs. In the end, the width dimensions on tumblr should be 540px (1 gif per row), 268px (2 gifs per row), or 177/178px (3 gifs per row). Anything else will lead to very shitty resizing!

For this gif I’m going full sized, meaning 540px wide, so I made sure my selection isn’t smaller than that.

Then just go to Image > Crop, and it’s done!

7. Check to see if this is what you want, then resize: go to Image > Image Size to resize the picture. Make sure the little “link” between Width and Height is active (to keep the same aspect ratio), then set the width to 540px or whatever you chose. I always set the resample option to Bicubic.

Once that’s done, set the zoom to 100% right above the timeline, to see what it really looks like.

Almost done! A little note about the sizing: width is the important part for tumblr, but if you want to make a whole gif set (especially with more than 1 gif per row!!!) make sure to make all the gifs the same height, otherwise they won’t line up and tumblr will do whatever it wants.

I ended up making mine 540 x 400 and ended up with this:

8. Time to save the gif!! Go to File > Export > Save for Web (OR just use the shortcut Ctrl + Shift + Alt + S) (or whatever it is on Mac).

In the pop-up, you can change things about the gif, but most things should already be the way you want it (Image size, Looping option forever). Selective should be the default, just like the rest.

You can choose between Pattern and Diffusion, some gif makers swear on one or the other, I go back and forth.

On the bottom left, you can see the size of your gif. Keep an eye on that! I believe Tumblr allows every single gif to be up to 10mb, but I try to keep mine under 5mb or close to it, because I think tumblr adds compression if it gets closer to 10mb?? Anyway back in my day you couldn’t upload anything over 1mb. You’ll never know our struggles.

Then just save it, and that’s it, you made a gif! Well done!! Here’s the end result:

:)

#2 Sharpen

There are countless ways out there to make gifs as smooth and clean as possible! Here I’ll show you the easiest way, but it also provides a good basis for other methods. The main difficulty is that you you need to sharpen the layers, but you don’t want to 100 layers one by one. So what we’re gonna do is convert the layers into a Smart Object, which functions as one layer!

1. Convert the frame animation timeline to a video timeline with the little button right underneath on the left:

It should look like this, and I’m sorry but I can’t explain this one because I’m not an expert here, but you can just ignore it:

2. Select all layers: Select > All Layers, or just manually. 

Then right click on the layers > Convert to Smart Object. Now there’s only one layer left, but don’t worry, the frames are still there!

3. De-noise! It reduces noise, takes away some of that grain. More necessary in some videos. It also makes it less sharp, so I do this one first. Filter > Noise > Reduce Noise

My default settings are, Strength: 6, Preserve Details: 60, Reduce Color Noise: 45, Sharpen Details: 25, Remove JPEG Artifact: No. But you can play around, especially with the strength, and see how the little preview looks. Don’t apply too much of it! Or it will look weirdly smooth with no details in the end.

4. File > Sharpen > Smart Sharpen. 

Settings: I usually have mine at Amount: 500, Reduce Noise: 5, and Radius at either 0.2 or 0.3, depending on the video. I’ll actually do 0.3 here, because I find it a bit blurry otherwise. If you sharpen more, it can quickly get grainy.

The difference isn’t huge, but here’s a little before and after denoise & sharpen:

5. Technically you can just save it as a gif (save for web) as shown above now, or you can convert it back to a frame animation, which I’d recommend especially if you use certain other sharpening methods (I’ll show you how to convert it back at the end of the colouring part), but for now, let’s go straight to the next part:

#3 Colouring

Now, you CAN do this part right after part #1, still in frame animation, without a smart object. I prefer it like this because sometimes PS acts weird, but if you want to skip the smart object stuff: select all frames, and add the adjustment layers at the very top, above all the other layers. (It only affects selected frames; and it only affects the layers under it.)

The adjustment layers should be above the layer tray, and these are the ones we’ll use today: Brightness/Contrast, Curves, Vibrance, Color Balance, Selective Color.

All of these are optional! You can do one, or all, or any combination. This is just the very most basic for me to get a gif to a point that I like. I’d recommend sticking to these for a start, but once you get the hang of it, definitely feel free to play around! It’s fun! Every gif maker has different preferences here, too, so there’s tutorials for everything.

1. Curves: Just click Auto, tbh. You can play around, but Auto works fine for me as a start, just to brighten or darken some parts as a base.

2. Brightness/Contrast: Usually videos are a bit dark, and contrast can help to make it seem sharper AND cut down on gif size, so I usually just up both of them a bit (but not too much! Or it’ll look cheap). Here I put them at B: 19, C: 23

3. Vibrance: I love very vibrant and colourful gifs, so I usually up the vibrance (and sometimes the saturation). This one is already very vibrant, so I only put +5, but if you try to colour, say, a very moody tv show, this can help wonders, especially if you want to work with the colours more later.

If you prefer less vibrant gifs, you can also lower the values here!

4. Color Balance: getting a bit more complicated now. Often, videos will have a slight yellow or green or blue tint, and this is where you can correct that. This video is a bit yellow, so I added +17 Blue. It was still too warm, so i added -11 Cyan as well. This neutralized the yellow tint, but I wanted some of the reddish tone back, so I added -5 Magenta. I usually do a similar process like that, depending on the tone. 

Instead of Midtones, you can also do this for Shadows and Highlights individually.

5. Selective Color: now this is the most complicated, but also the most fun to play around in my opinion! Be careful here, if you do something too extreme it’ll look like shit or make the gif super grainy. I some rough goals in mind here: make the blue hair as blue as possible, make their skin tone a bit less pale, and enhance the black and white (which I always do).

You choose a colour at the top, and then add or subtract cyan/magenta/yellow/black values for that colour.

Skin tone: yellow and red. For this gif, I just added black to both, making them darker. Sometimes, if you change one or both those colours for a different part of the gif (for example, if I wanted to make the background less yellow, I’d subtract yellow from the yellows - but then I’d add yellow to the reds, to make the skin tone natural again.)

Blue hair: Just ramp up the cyan for the blues. Be careful with putting anything to +100, but here it’s already so bright that it should be fine. His roots are more purple, so I changed the magentas by adding cyan and black, and subtracting magenta and yellow. It’s not super clean, but fine for our purposes.

Black/white: depending on the gif, I often either add or subtract black to the whites. Adding makes the highlights less blinding, a bit darker, and flatter (I like to do that if one side of the face is bright white in the sunlight, for example). Subtracting creates contrast, makes it brighter, can wash it out. It can also lessen the gif size, and here it’s mostly just the tracksuit instead of important details, so I subtracted black. For the blacks, I almost always just add a bit of black, to make it more intense. Just like adding contrast, this can make the gif seem sharper and less grainy.

And done! 

6. You could just save it as gif now, but as I said, I prefer to convert it back to frame animation timeline first, if only because I like to let it play through before I save it, and it works better for me there than in the video timeline.

Select all frames, then click the little menu on the top right of the video timeline > Convert Frames > Flatten Frames into Clips

7. When you scroll down to the bottom of the layers now, the old smart object + adjustment layers should be at the bottom, under all the new layers. Delete the old ones, we don’t need them anymore.

8. Convert the timeline back to frame animation, by clicking the little button at the bottom left of the video timeline:

9. Click on the menu top right of the timeline again > Make Frames from Layers

10. Now, just some potential cleaning left to do. Sometimes, there’s a doubled or empty frame or layer at the beginning or end, just delete those as necessary. The timing of the frames is probably off, too, just select all frames and set the delay time to 0.05 (or whatever).

Now your done! Save as gif, and you should get this:

I included some bonus links and tips after this but tumblr ate that whole part so I guess it’s going into a separate post. (Here is is)

Anyway, I tried to make this as easy to follow as possible for beginners, but feel free to send me an ask for clarification anytime. Hope this helps, now go make gifs and have fun!!

[mysterystarz]

haikyuu boys as roommates (part 2) <3

ft. kageyama, suna, and tsukishima (and how they wound up as your roommate) :)

note: omg I cannot even put in words how happy I am for all the support I'm receiving (thank you endlessly!!!) notes and reblogs are always appreciated, but never an obligation! thank you again and here's your roommate :)

kageyama ended up as your roommate when the other person he was supposed to room changed their dorm assignment

you just happened to be the one who was reassigned there

needless to say, it was a wild ride of adjustment

When you first moved in, he was too antisocial to interact with you

bc you're too cute (even if it's platonically)

like he used to see you and run in the other direction (umm rude!)

so one day you got sick of it, and decided to intercept him because godammit, this is not how roommates work!

you cornered him when he entered the door and asked him why he was so avoidant

he admitted he was lowkey nervous and didn't know what to say

and there began the lovely roommate-ship you were looking for

kageyama began spending time in the morning before classes to help you out with any practical things (like arranging high shelves, or any chores)

awww sweet blueberry

he actually warmed up to you pretty quick, and he used to offer to teach you volleyball at the park in your free time

in return, you helped him with his academics while he balanced his practice, and dealt with the cooking

boy only drinks milk istg

you liked to show him any of your hobbies and he always used to look so fascinated by them

like he honestly thought you were the best at them

every friday, the two of you always sat down on the couch and picked a movie out of a hat to watch

one time you pulled out a romance movie (watch it be titanic)

at the end of that, kags was a mess (awwwwwww)

manz was trying so hard to be composed but he was internally dying

that's when you both decided to avoid angsty films

one time, kags took you along to meet hinata and yamaguchi since they were in the area and the two of you needed to go get groceries

and that's when you met the kageyama that goes "boke!" like every 3 seconds

and you were amused by this because he's so intense only to have this small of an insult arsenal

all in all the two of you grew on each other, and are the best roommates the other could have ever asked for :)

suna ended up as your roommate through some interesting circumstances to put it lightly

you see, he got sick of the twins fighting and he just left since it was repetitive

and then somehow, ended up seeing your ad you had posted for a roomie

and voila, suna rintarou is now your roommate!

needless to say, you were pretty creeped out at first

like this man shows up at the most random times

but eventually, you started to come around to him

he was surprisingly sweet when you got to know him

well as sweet as a suna can be lol

no matter what, he always makes breakfast and dinner for both of you

like rain or shine, he is always doing this

and he's actually pretty organized and has a system that works for him (not conventional but functional)

you like to make lunch, and the two of you don't really have the need to clean because things tend to be clean anyways

he usually comes off as nonchalant and uncaring, but once he opens up to you, things start rolling

he starts to show you some of his volleyball skills and shows you how to skate

he'll laugh if you fall or trip but will patch you up quick

usually your movie nights are whenever the two of you are bored

it'll just be the two of you lounging on the couch and he'd probably pick a horror or thriller movie

honestly the two of you probably watched inception a few times

if you don't get the plotline he'd explain it to you and you built a love for it off of that

sometimes you drag him around tokyo and you go and go shopping in random konbinis and get kicked out for laughing too loud

in the end, suna ended up being an amazing roommate and friend who you could gladly spend your time with :)

ohoho now tsukishima is the only roommate who was supposed to be your roommate the whole time

the two of you were assigned to a dorm room together, and there were no complications

that's a first heh

when you walk into the dorm, it's a little more spacious than you expected

tsukishima comes in five minutes later and immediately gets to work setting up

he doesn't even acknowledge you oops

the two of you most likely spent the first week just getting accustomed to the living arrangements before having any real conversation

you still haven't spoken a month later

when you come home really late one night, you find out he had been staying up wondering where you were

that's when the two of you began conversing on a daily basis

tsukishima was always organized, so his responsibility was keeping your dorm as a livable space

everything was labeled and color-coded and everything had a place

oh and if you messed up putting something back, you'd be subjected to dinosaur facts until you couldn't take it mwahaha

both of you probably swapped on cooking duties, and if neither of you felt like cooking, you just ate packeted ramen from a konbini

the two of you most likely go out of your way to spend time with each other, but once tsukki warmed up to you, you did go to try some things

one time in tokyo, he dragged you to get strawberry shortcake because he felt like it

damn, tsukki is showing emotions :)

movies were always a mix between whatever you were interested in and sci-fi movies

tsukishima would always try to pick apart the logic of the movie

and slander the actors but shade is always nice :)

so in short, tsukki was the roommate you never realized you needed and a damn great one :)

© mysterystarz, all rights reserved