#confession: I regret using the weird fan as a plot point

[commander-yinello]

Trying to be better, part 2

If you haven’t read part 1, this story won’t make any sense! Below and under the cut, part of me sailing the crackship Echosung into slightly more serious waters. I hope you enjoy! <3

4:45 PM. She sighed as she held her phone in the air, time telling her how little she had done today. A soft whine and the scratching of nails came from beside her bed, Lady insisting that she needed to go out for a walk.

“Yes, yes. Gimme a minute to get ready,” she responded, pushing herself off her bed, blowing wavy hair out of her face. Lady didn’t seem to care for her owner’s prep time, running in circles in the hope time would go faster. Long used to her poodle’s antics, Kyungju dropped her phone on the desk next to her wardrobe.

It was right then a new notice popped up on her screen. She expected another meme from the chatroom with her overseas friends, but it was an e-mail. An e-mail with a particularly unexpected sender that made her swipe it away.

“Mom!” she yelled towards her open door while she attempted to brush out the creases in her dress so it didn’t look like she used them as pajamas. “Did you give the agent from Heart & Seoul Models my private email address?”

The gentle tapping of heels on marble followed, her mother’s shadow cast on the cream-colored wall. “Of course, I did dear! Why wouldn’t I?”

She groaned. “What the fuck, mom?!”

“Kyungju Choi, I told you to stop swearing!”

“And I told you, I don’t want these agents to be able to contact me!” Irritated, she brushed her hair down with her hands. Lady followed her every move, doing her best for constant attention.

“I don’t know why you’re so against becoming an idol again. You were so successful last time.”

She nearly lost balance, putting on her blazer and trying to win the argument. “I don’t want that anymore! It ended in a bunch of really bad bullshit, or did you somehow forget that we moved to Europe?”

“You made a mistake that you’re not going to make again. Your father and I agree that you need to be doing something other than loafing about and taking the odd modelling job. Or did you plan on finding a rich man and marrying him?”

“No!” Kyungju yelled. “God mom, I can’t believe you’re still suggesting that!”

Now properly dressed, she slipped her phone in her pants pocket and eyed the unpacked moving boxes in the corner as she left her room, making her way to the stairs in the hallway. Her mother stood on the ground floor, wearing a frilly apron, the only sign she was a housewife - unlike her hair in a tight bun and a face full of bold make-up. Kyungju glared as she ran down, but her mother had always been better in the glaring game. Lady hopped down the stairs, tail wagging from the noise they produced, noise she saw as fun and exciting like all noise really.

“God blessed you with a beautiful body and you’re wasting it,” her mom continued to nag as Kyungju tugged on her boots and jacket. “You may not have been able to charm that albino boy, but he’s young and poor - there’s plenty of older, richer, more interested men you should be aiming for.”

She couldn’t stand hearing more. “I can make it on my own, just give me time to figure out how. Come Lady,” she beckoned, and her poodle obeyed, trotting along while Kyungju grabbed the leash off the coat hook. “I’ll see you tonight mom,” she said, leaving her home for the city streets.

Her mother was merciful and closed the door behind her without another word. Kyungju sighed while Lady sniffed every possible corner and tree she could find, running back when she was called, allowing herself to be leashed. The fluffy ball of energy proceeded to pull Kyungju along the pavement while she pondered.

Her mother was making too big a deal out of this. They just moved here, surely she was going to find something, a job she could be proud of and that had nothing to do with Echo Girl. She nodded while pouting, ignoring the confused face the woman passing her made.

Rush hour had ended, and the once crowded streets slowly found silence as employees and students ran into their homes for dinner and relaxation. Kyungju turned the corner and ended up in a small shopping centre where everyone was closing up. At the end of the plaza Kyungju spotted the small building with illustrated cats and dogs on the windows, a sight that brightened her mood instantly.

Yoosung’s clinic. It wasn’t actually Yoosung’s clinic, he was just one of the vets working there, but in her mind it was. Conveniently close to her house, she had rushed Lady there - best idea she ever had. For once she was glad Lady was such a glutton.

Through the glass, she saw the blond behind the counter, busy with a customer, his red glasses nearly on the top of his nose while looking down. He’s cute, she thought. Against all of her expectations, Yoosung was understanding and warm. She smiled and began to walk over eagerly, feeling like Lady about to get a treat.

Guilt struck her, making her halt. Lady tried to run ahead and strained against the leash a few times before giving up and sitting down, scratching herself.

Kyungju bit her lip, continuing to stare at Yoosung who had no idea she was out here. Tempted as she was to enter the clinic and come up with some excuse to ask Yoosung out for an official coffee date, she couldn’t justify it. Yoosung was around her age and had his shit together better than her. No doubt her mom would be very pleased to know her daughter planned to hit it off with a doctor. An animal doctor, not that that would stop mother from counting in paychecks.

What was she even thinking? With a history like hers, it wasn’t right for her to ask him out. His friends, her parents, possibly even him, they’d all get the wrong idea. She had gotten a crush on another RFA member. What if she was responsible for causing a rift between Yoosung and the RFA?

And surely a guy like Yoosung must have a girlfriend as sweet as him already.

She spun around, fully intent on marching back to her house, only to be met with a man who obstructed her entire view. Startled, she took a few steps back. The man wore a typical gray office suit and his balding head was shiny from all the gel. His eyes widened as his amazement grew upon staring at her, dropping his suitcase next to his feet.

“Erm… Can I help you?” Kyungju asked.

“Echo Girl!” the man exclaimed in joy, clapping his hands together. “I can’t believe it’s really you! It’s me, Ben! I was- no, am!- your biggest fan, I used to send you a letter every month. Do you remember?”

Shit. “Ah… Not really. My agent let interns open the fanmail, I... didn’t.” Unpaid interns, she remembered. She didn’t want to bother with anything that wasn’t Zen back then.

Ben blinked at her. “What do you mean, you sent me replies back! They even had cute signatures! I really felt like we connected!”

“Automated reply letters,” Kyungju answered sheepishly.

“And the personalized autographed photo?”

“A copy. And the signature was never mine.”

Kyungju felt Lady paw at her ankles. Ben seemed lost, brows furrowing as he processed this new information. “I don’t… I don’t understand! We didn’t have something special back then? Why?”

“Because I didn’t care about anyone except me back then. Surely you must have read the scandal about me.”

The middle-aged man shook his head. “The magazines reported something, but it seemed more like a typical idol scandal. But then you disappeared. The fan club assumed you abandoned us.”

“It’s true, I did.” Better he knew now she was garbage. “It’s okay if you’re mad.”

His face completely fell. “I can’t believe this. I thought you had maybe some kind of family crisis and would come back in the future. I was hoping for your come-back! And then I could genuinely claim I am the number one fan!”

Lady reacted to his anger, growling as loud as a tiny poodle could. “God, I shouldn’t have wasted so much time on someone like you! Do you know how many you fooled with the fake crap you sold them? Was your singing even genuine or autotuned?”

“It was real,” she said, cruel words crash making her heart hurt. Lady was barking now, causing other shopkeepers to peer through their windows. Damn it, she swore quietly.

He jabbed a finger, nearly poking her chest. “Real my ass! You are supposed be pure, kind-”

“Hey!” came a sudden new voice, and they both turned towards the man with glaring purple eyes standing next to her. When had Yoosung snuck up on them?

Turned out Yoosung can be very intimidating, Kyungju discovered. His hands were clenched and his posture, wider from the white coat he wore, made him look ready to attack. The sweet, soft boy image of him she harbored since last time was nowhere to be found and she didn’t know whether to be fascinated or terrified. “What are you doing?!”

Ben bristled. “What am I doing? I’m giving this fake piece of shit what she deserves, that’s what!”

“How dare you talk to her like that - she’s still a human being!” Yoosung yelled back at him.

“It’s alright,” Kyungju said to Yoosung, who had moved in front of her, partially blocking her view of the angry fan. “I don’t mind, he has the right to.”

“Don’t say that!” Yoosung whirled around, expression equal parts anger and shock. “Kyungju, you can’t let him treat you like this!”

“Why not?” She bit back. “It’s true what he’s saying, isn’t it?”

“Why does that matter?!” He said, before pinching the bridge of his nose, calming down considerably. “I mean, yes, you did some bad things in the past. I don’t think anyone would dispute that.” He sighed, shoulders drooping. “But it’s obvious you’re genuinely sorry for what you’ve done. Letting yourself get verbally abused like this isn’t helping anyone. Why didn’t you tell him what you told me?” He gestured towards Ben, who stared at them considerably confused.

“This is different. He doesn’t know me.”

Yoosung gently took hold of her shoulders, and she recognized the same comforting gesture she gave him in the café. “Neither did I really, before we met. And even then, I was impressed by you. Everyone else would be too, if they knew. I’m sure of it.”

The dam she didn’t know she had inside her burst. Her eyes started to well up. Embarrassed, she rubbed them vigorously with the palm of her hand, feeling the heat of her cheeks. “Why are you so sweet?” she asked with a small pout. “I don’t deserve that kindness.”

“Of course you do. One day I’ll make you believe it.” Suddenly shy, he let go and blushed a little, aware of what he had said. Kyungju couldn’t help but giggle.

The sound of shoes scuffing the pavement brought about the startling reminder that they were never alone. Ben was still next to them, lost and hands raised awkwardly.

“Err…” he started.

“Look,” Kyungju intercepted, turning to him and clapping her hands together. “I can’t change the past and give you back your lost time. But I am genuinely sorry, and I have changed. I won’t be performing anymore.”

Ben returned to rage mode. “What does sorry do for me?! Do you think just cuz you’ve got a cute face that I’m going to forgive you?”

Kyungju grimaced. How long was this guy going to go on before she would have to threaten him? “I’m not asking for your forgiveness.”

“You should, because I’m done with you! It’s over!!” he yelled, grabbing his suitcase, walking off with his nose in the air. “Goodbye forever!”

Ben marched off, leaving the two blinking at the sudden turn. He had left the street before Kyungju and Yoosung grasped what had just happened, picking up the jaws that had dropped off. Then, she heard Yoosung attempt to muffle his snickers and before she knew it, they both laughed in unison.

“Wow, did you have to deal with his type all the time? I would go crazy,” Yoosung replied after he calmed down.

“Not all the time, thankfully.” Kyungju let out a sigh of relief. “Thanks Yoosung, I appreciate it.”

“No worries, when I saw you and that asshole outside, I couldn’t hold myself back.” Bashful, Yoosung scratched the back of his head.

How does he switch from scary to adorable so fast? Kyungju wondered. “I’m sorry for distracting you from your work.”

“We were closing up, so it’s fine. But what brings you back here again?”

“I live close by. And I, eh, I decided to pass by while walking Lady,” Kyungju admitted, blushing more.

“It’s good to see you still healthy! Haven’t been eating anything weird, have you?” Yoosung said as he bent down to pat Lady, who jumped to try to put her paws up as high as she could on Yoosung’s clean pants.

With things having calmed down, Kyungju followed Yoosung to his clinic, waiting inside while he locked up, his co-workers waving at them just like last time. She waved back as Lady chewed on her leash in boredom.

“Oh, Jaehee asked me to tell you that her café has new latté flavors. Maybe you’d like to try them?” Yoosung asked while he changed from his doctor’s coat to his leather jacket.

“Jaehee?”

“Ah, she’s my friend and the café owner. The café we went to last time.”

Is he asking me out? Kyungju thought, feeling the temperature rise. “Ah, sure, I’d love to try them. But won’t your girlfriend get annoyed with you hanging out with me?” she asked, instantly regretting how obvious she was.

Yoosung grabbed his keys on top of the front desk. “Girlfriend? I don’t think so, seeing as I don’t have one.” He shrugged, leading Kyungju to the front door.

It was hard for Kyungju not to let out any of the high-pitched squealing in her head. “Then, of course!”

“Great! I’m sure Jaehee would love your opinion on them,” Yoosung said enthusiastically, locking up the clinic behind them.

Kyungju wondered on whether this was a date or not. “Okay, but only if you choose a latte for me.”

“But… What if I choose something you don’t like?”

“I’m sure I will like anything you pick.” Kyungju smiled, Lady trotting by her side as they began to walk.

“You have varied taste, that’s good! I can be a bit picky sometimes,” Yoosung replied, placing his hands in his jacket pockets, practically beaming happiness.

Kyungju had a feeling Yoosung wasn’t getting it. But, either way, she was content being with him, at his side, feeling more comfortable than ever.

[sortasirius]

what makes you think the writers want deancas? not trying to be an asshole, i'm just genuinely curious as to why you think that. i know berens' episodes are pretty heavy with subtext so i can see why you'd say that he wants it, but i'm not so sure about the rest of the writers/dabb. it seems like meghan isn't a huge fan either, given her "they twisted it so fast" tweet :/ of course she's a very new writer (think she's only writing one ep this season?) but still

OKAY this is a great question, welcome to my dissertation.

I’m going to address the end of your question first. Meghan is actually DeanCas positive, she has been for quite a long time. She actually, a few years back, posted a picture of her reading a literal book about Destiel and captioned it “writing reading” or something like that.

This whole thing just comes out of a boiling over of tensions because of how nasty fandom twitter can be. Like I said here, I think this has just gotten blown out of proportion, they shouldn’t have posted all this randomly disparaging stuff, but also like...can you blame them? The fandom is a lot, we always have been, and they’re probably also under a gag order not to talk about the finale, and are annoyed that people keep asking.

So nah, Meg is not anti Destiel.

To the first part!! So let’s take a look at the show runners since Cas has been around.

Seasons 4 and 5: Kripke

Seasons 6 and 7: Gamble

Seasons 8-11ish: Carver

Seasons 11ish-15: Dabb

So starting with Kripke. Okay, yes, I will be the first to admit that we have some pretty incredible Destiel moments in these seasons, but it’s less directly written into the plot and much more from Misha and Jensen’s uhhhh ~chemistry~. The only times it was directly written into the script was when the episode was handled by someone like Edlund (“On The Head Of A Pin,” “The End,” “My Bloody Valentine”). And you have to remember, if in season 5, there are moments here and there where you’re like huh that’s suspiciously romantic dialogue, remember that Cas took Anna’s place. Anna was supposed to be endgame for Dean, but due to a myriad of issues and Misha’s general greatness, Anna was replaced with Cas.

Onto 6 and 7. Hmmm. Gamble. 6 and 7 are my two least favorite seasons and that’s no secret, and that’s not only due to the plain old weird shit in the overall storyline, but also that homegirl killed off Cas in s7 and then Bobby like four episodes later. (Also it ALWAYS rubbed me the wrong way they couldn’t have Baby in that season lol). We still had some great DeanCas moments, but again, it wasn’t really written into the overall arc (until they had to change the end of season 7 because of tanking ratings and bring Misha back lol, anyone remember the fact that Dean kept Cas’ jacket and would randomly dream of him? Yeah.). But we still had those moments, those distinctly romantic moments, probably the best example in these two seasons is from Edlund again, specifically “The Man Who Would be King,” I wrote a little about that here.

We move onto Carver, who gave us, at this point, the most overt DeanCas season with season 8 (season gr8 is a better name imo), and this is the first time Dean and Cas’ relationship is directly written as an arc of the season.  I mean, you have everything in Purgatory, Dean “seeing” Cas everywhere, the fact that he felt so guilty that Cas stayed in Purgatory that he manipulated his own memories to think that he was the one that failed Cas, because he couldn’t comprehend that Cas would want to leave him, and let’s not forget Dean snapping Cas out of Naomi’s hold on him in “Goodbye Stranger.”  It was a very obvious shift, not enough to alert the general audience, but more than enough for most of us in fandom.

It’s also important to note that this is when Andrew stopped co writing with Loflin and started writing his own episodes (”Hunter Heroici” anyone?)  I like Loflin fine, but Dabb was able to stretch his legs a little bit more once he stopped co-writing, and we also began to see some DeanCas themes in his solo episodes.

In any case, them and their issues being a big part of the seasons continued with Carver, and Berens entered the scene, his first episode (”Heaven Can’t Wait”) is one of my favorites, with human Cas and the fanfiction gap and Dean and Cas just generally being awkward and funny and sweet.  This is Bobo’s FIRST episode, remember that.  He comes right out of the gate with it.

Also in Season 9, this is when Dean takes the Mark of Cain, and the Cas/Colette mirror is born, so obviously, Dean and Cas are the fabric of the season once again.  This is also the season where Metatron says Cas is “in love with humanity,” and then immediately refers to Dean as Humanity so uhhhh yeah.

Onto season 10, Dabb and Berens continue with their greatness (I could write pages on the DeanCas date in “The Things We Left Behind” alone).  And then we have one of the best scenes in the entire show in “The Prisoner” where the Cas/Colette mirror continues and Dean, driven by grief and pain and rage and the Mark, still doesn’t kill Cas.  He still can’t kill Cas.

Season 11 is important because it takes choice away from both Cas and Dean, and shows us, as the audience, how much losing each other takes out of them. We saw in season 10 how much losing Dean takes from Cas, but what about Cas losing Dean?  Dean loses his choice with his connection to Amara this season, and loses even more when Lucifer reveals he’s been possessing Cas, and plays on Dean’s connection to Cas like a mockery.  It’s also worth noting that, similarly to season 8, Dean breaks out of the connection with Amara when he’s worried about Cas, and that’s something that even SHE is surprised by.

But then season 12, the beginning to the Renaissance.  This is when we get the writer’s that become important for what Dean and Cas are today, and, truly, why I believe they want canon Destiel as much as we do.

This is the first season with Dabb’s writers: Davy Perez, Meredith Glynn, Steve Yockey, and of course Bobo all come in with their incredible talents and gave us episode after episode of good content.  “Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets” is probably my favorite, probably the best example of what I’m saying.  An episode where Dean is called out by an enemy directly, told to “roll the dice” on Cas’ life.  And Dean won’t, it’s not even really a hesitation.  And this comes from a character that has known Dean for ten seconds.  I also wrote more in depth about this episode here.  There are also some.....distinctly domestic details we get this season, specifically in “The Future” (written by Berens and Glynn) with the mixtape.  The most tropey of tropes mixtape.  Yeah, I’ll just leave that one here.

And then season 12 ends with Cas’ death, but also with the parallel between Sam and Dean with Jess and Cas.  Sam literally has to drag Dean away from Cas, just like Dean had to drag Sam out of his burning apartment in the pilot.  The episode drives it home in every way that it can: Dean is the one left kneeling by Cas’ body, while Sam goes to find out what is upstairs.  Dean is the one who stares at the sky, finally broken.  This isn’t a random thing, this is Dean’s whole arc, it’s the entirety of the beginning of 13.  Dean’s pain, his anguish, his anger.

Season 13 starts with them burning Cas, with Dean, who has begged God to bring him back, who has split his knuckles punching a door, standing, staring at Cas’ pyre with brokenness on his face.

I mean.....

Anyway, season 13 is where it gets interesting (well, I think all of this is interesting but I’m a writer nerd so).  So Cas comes back from the Empty in “Advanced Thanatology” written by Steve Yockey, and then a wombo combo of “Tombstone” by Davy Perez next (”Brokebacknatural” as the PR said at the time).  Listen.  This is the part that SPN crossed a line that they couldn’t come back from.  With Cas being Dean’s “big win,” the fact that Dean and Cas watch movies together, “I told you, he’s an angry sleeper.  Like a bear.” Talked about it here.

This is where, in my opinion, the network stepped in, but the damage was already done.  They had already established that Cas was Dean’s big win, that Dean’s poor coping was not due to Mary’s disappearance, but solely due to Cas, and that Dean and Cas have more married energy than anyone else.  The network had nixed blatant canon at this point, and they writing room had been pushing the boundaries of what the network would allow. 

After these episodes, we see a marked drop off of DeanCas heavy scenes.  They’re still there, still a part of the fabric of the season, but not as...obvious as it had been in early season 13.

And this continued through season 14, we’re back to scraps of Destiel scenes here and there, but to me it always felt like there was something bubbling under the surface, something distinctly unsaid in the themes of the season, even after the walk back of obvious “Dean and Cas are in love” scenes.

And then we get to season 15, which, y’all know I talk about all the time.  What’s important here is that Bobo and Glynn are both executive producers, calling more of the shots than ever before.  Additionally, it’s important to note that, though they only co write occasionally, Glynn and Berens refer to each other as “work husband” and “work wife.”  Each episode has just turned up the volume, and, not for the first time, but certainly the most obvious, Dean and Cas ARE the season.  Sure, they’re trying to beat God, they’re trying to finally find peace, defeat the final big bad, but really?  This season has been about Dean, and Dean’s relationship to Cas.

And not only do we have obvious and clear Destiel in nearly every episode, but we have episodes like “Last Call” which canonize bi!Dean (wrote about that here).

And, maybe most importantly so far, we have “The Rupture,” the breakup, and “The Trap,” Dean’s confession (both written by Berens).  And here’s the thing.  These episodes feel connected, but also feel like they’re missing something.  Beren’s last episode is 15x18, “The Truth.”  We’ve all spec’ed about what could happen in this episode, and I think *I* know what it’s leading to.  But for it to be leading to that, it means that the network has to have approved what we’ve all been waiting for years for.

Who got this change to happen?  Who got the network to change their minds?  It wasn’t us.  It was them.  I am fully convinced that Dabb and Berens quite literally put their careers on the line for Dean and Cas.  They believe in them, they’ve shown that from the beginning, but the only thing standing in the way was the network, never allowing them to take the final step. 

So, to answer your question: I think the writers want canon DeanCas because they’ve already shown us that they do.  Take a look at their episodes, at Dabb’s, at Beren’s, at Glynn’s, at Perez’s, at Yockey’s.  They’ve been telling us what’s going on with Dean and Cas for years.

Sure, I’m not in their heads, I guess I don’t know for *sure* that this has been their thought process, but if we put it all together, from the marked shift when Dabb fully took over in s12, to the change right after “Tombstone,” to the new shift, the blatantly romantic shift in season 15, what else is there?

I’ve said for a long time that we, the SPN fandom, are beyond lucky to have the writer’s that we do.  They’re all going to go on to have prolific careers and we were lucky to get them at the end of our little show.  I give them a lot of credit for what we have in the show today.

Just remember, they’ve been telling us in all of s15 who Chuck is.  He says he’s the writer, right?  But a writer who doesn’t have control of his characters?  A writer who wants to do the same ending over and over because it “works”?  That doesn’t sound like a writer, it sounds like a network exec.

They’ve been showing us what they want for years, and the way s15 is going?  I think they may have convinced the network to let us have it.

[purpleyellow]

Bring it back

NCT 24th member / Dream 8th member

Bee’s Masterlist

“Mark realizes he’s the only one who still thinks about that month”

a/n: One of the most commented issues on the survey was poorly ended plots - especially when it came to the markxbee storyline - so I took the hint and made it part of the story ;) . Feel free to share your thoughts with me. Requests are open!💛

Pre-recording performances for Award shows was a strange experience, considering that they weren’t live, there was no crowd and everything was the same as a rehearsal. But they had to perform like it was the actual show. The thought itself made Bee laugh as half of the Dreamies returned their headsets to the staff.

“Yun-hee lost it. She’s laughing by herself” Chenle spoke loudly enough for the other members to see and Renjun rose an eyebrow at him. “She’s probably doing it because of your face during the ending” 

“We didn’t get to see it yet, but sounds like something possible” Jeno smiled playfully, throwing an arm over the girl’s shoulder. “Did you see into the future, again?”

“Again?” Mark’s head snapped up from where he was looking at some monitors. Quickly understanding it was a joke, he stopped frowning to laugh with the others.

“It’s been happening lately” Bee nodded casually, making Jeno poke her cheek and lead her to smile.

“Considering the way he worded things, I think Renjun is the one seeing into the future” Haechan pointed out leaning next to the older boy who rolled his eyes. 

Jaemin, who hadn’t said anything after the song was over, widened his eye mouthing a “Wow” before returning to his unfazed semblance. “Well, Renjun, Chenle, Bee, and I have no purpose left in here, so we should go”

“Yeah, we should be going to the 90s love dressing room now” Jeno nodded as the group started walking.

“Oh, crap” Mark stopped in his tracks, looking blankly ahead of himself as he thought back on what they had done. “I forgot to take my stuff to the next room,” He said referring to the instructions of taking his belongings to the last room he was going to during the day because there won’t be time to do it in the meanwhile of recording, something that Jeno and Haechan did while he was busy with hair and makeup.

“I can grab them for you if you want to” Bee shrugged, raising a mini fan towards her face. “The rooms are far apart from each other, I don’t think you’ll have enough time to do it”

Hesitating on his step, Mark frowned “You don’t have to, there are many things in there, maybe I can try to get them at the end”

“You three need to go change, the rest of the boys are ready waiting for you” One of the managers pointed at Mark, Haechan, and Jeno as they were passing him “And the others, please go get your stuff to leave, we need that room empty for the next group to take it” 

Walking away from them, the woman left the group frozen for a second only digesting all the information she had said in a tiny amount of time. Finally snapping out of it, Bee turned to Mark smiling playfully. “I really don’t mind doing it. I’ll take them to the dressing room”

“Thanks a lot” He chuckled awkwardly as the group divided itself into two. Walking a few seconds in silence, he suddenly scoffed “Dude, why does it still feel weird?”

Jeno and Haechan, who had just begun a different conversation, frowned looking his way. The younger rolled his eyes before speaking “I’m going to regret asking but what are you talking about?”

“Just… that whole exchange” Mark gestured behind him while increasing their confusion. “I don’t know, it still feels awkward sometimes”

“Do you mean Bee? She’s acting like she does normally” Jeno said matter-of-factly and Haechan frowned analyzing the Canadian carefully. 

“Yeah, but sometimes it’s awkward isn’t it?” He mentioned again, a little burdened by the fact that both boys didn’t seem to catch onto what he was implying. “You know… considering everything that happened”

At the same time, both of them had very different reactions, Jeno widened his eyes trying not to laugh while Hyuck deadpanned annoyed “Do you mean the little confusion that happened, I don’t know, six months ago?”

“You still remember that?” Jeno chuckled at Mark’s raised eyebrows making him scoff “Yeah, you don’t? Hyuck, Doyoung was mad at us for like a week. Six months isn’t long enough for that to disappear off your mind”

“Hyung, we barely get time to sleep, and you’re worrying if you’re awkward around Bee” Haechan gave him a knowing look “Trust us, I don’t think she has time to reminisce old feelings or be sad over something already settled”

“For the record, she can do that while multitasking other things. But that’s not our point” Jeno added patting his back “We’ve all just kind of realized it happened, we had an interesting time with the drama, and now it’s over. And on a side note, why did we get the farthest dressing room away?”

“You were entertained by it because you were outside the situation” Mark pointed out rolling his eyes “I felt like crap for weeks until we talked that day. And still, sometimes it seems like I’m the asshole”

“And what did she tell you that day?” The tone in Haechan’s voice was tired from all the arguing, so Mark just mumbled “That she wanted to let it go”

“So we all did” Hyuck threw his arms around the older’s shoulder while Jeno nodded. “To be honest, this isn’t about us at all. And considering she doesn’t hold anything from the situation we all saw it fitting to do what she wanted and forget about it”

“But it’s different for you” Mark rolled his shoulders making him drop his arm. Pointing at his chest he began emphasizing his words “You weren’t the one confessed to. You weren’t the one called, what was it again, insensitive? Right, Jeno?” He stopped to face them in the hallway making the boy advert his gaze “And right after everybody was acting like I had just killed her innocence or something, you all, including her, go back to acting indifferent just because of one conversation”

Staying in silence, Mark watched the two of them shift on their feet and exchange looks. Sighing he let his head fall back “Do you at least understand why it’s so unsettling to me that we’re all just joking around like nothing ever happened”

“Yes. But Hyung, if it’s bothering you so much you should talk to her and say it all” Haechan spoke picking up his pace again “And yeah, why did we get stuck with the last dressing room of the venue?”

“What am I supposed to be like? Just show up like ‘hey, I know that set of events made you really upset, but I need you to relive them because in my head it doesn’t add up the fact that you were seemingly in love with me and suddenly, I became a friend again’”

“It was a crush?” Bee showed up with both hers and his backpacks on her shoulders. 

Dropping Mark’s on the ground, she shrugged ignoring all eye contact directed her way “I didn’t listen to everything but yeah, I’m pretty sure the L word was never used. Also, for the record, you never stopped being my friend, though I’m sorry that doesn’t make sense. I’ll try to keep that in mind before approaching you” 

“Yun-hee, I didn’t mean it like that” Mark tried reaching out to her but got interrupted by a manager suddenly entering their hallway and shouting for them to hurry up “You three need to get ready right now”

Turning back to Bee, the Canadian frowned as he watched her turn around and walk back from where she had appeared “Wait, can we talk once I’m back at the dorms?” Shaking her head, the girl simply said “No” before leaving the three of them frozen in place.

[murasaki-murasame]

Thoughts on Higurashi Sotsu Ep13

The true mystery of this show is trying to figure out how to even talk about each episode without just repeating myself or talking about other parts of the franchise, lmao.

Anyway, thoughts under the cut. Plus probably spoilers for both Umineko and Ciconia.

I’m not even sure where to begin talking about the fundamental issues this show has at this point, lol. It’s easy to just say that Sotsu on it’s own is bad, but I feel like it’s highlighting the fact that right from day one there were problems with the show’s structure and it’s intentions that have just become more and more of an issue as time’s gone on.

At the very least, I think that it was a huge mistake for them to have the gun cliffhanger happen midway through Gou, and to then spend so much time on backstory stuff and answer arcs. That just cast a negative shadow over all of those arcs because everyone was just impatient to get back to the cliffhanger. At this point I think they shouldn’t have even had Nekodamashi be in Gou to begin with. If they transitioned straight from Tataridamashi to Satokowashi then you could keep the general cliffhanger of revealing that Satoko’s the culprit without making people so impatient to go back to it and see what happens afterward.

But there’s also the issues like how Satokowashi revealed everything we needed to know about the howdunnit of the mystery, or how the whole gimmick of reusing the same scenarios as the VN in order to play both sides and make it technically accessible to new fans really wrote them into a corner and forced them to spend more time on the answer arcs than they needed to.

If we at least assume that the whole story ends in this arc, I think you easily could have condensed it all into one 2-cour season if they’d just committed to aiming this at old fans.

I guess there’s still a chance we’ll get some sort of continuation, but at this point I feel like the only way to get that much more content is if it ends up mostly retreading Satokowashi from a different perspective, which might actually drive me insane, lol.

In general it just feels like we’re already at the climax of the story one way or another, and there’s not many ways to keep it going for much longer without it seeming super forced. Like, Eua and Hanyuu are having their big confrontation with each other, and now Rika and Satoko are both on the same page, so they’re going to basically be stuck in a stalemate until one of them gives up. There isn’t really any mystery left to answer aside from giving more info about what’s going on between Eua and Hanyuu, so I’d rather they just cut to the chase and not drag this out.

We also know from TV listings that a different show is going to taking over Sotsu’s time slot next season, so unless it changes time slot for some reason, we’d probably have to wait until at least January to get a continuation, and I just dunno if that’d even be worth it.

I’ve already gone over my general ideas for how I think this will end, but I still think it’s entirely possible to wrap things up in just two more episodes. At the very least, if we get another full cour out of this then that’d probably just end up only having a few more episodes of actually new content, so my point still stands, lol.

I don’t think this episode did much to change my mind about where this is going, but it did at least clarify a couple of things. Like how Eua explicitly calls Hanyuu a ‘part of her’, which means that I’m probably right about my interpretation of them being two halves of the same being. There’s still a lot of different ways they could explain it, but at this point it’d basically still just boil down to the same idea of them being two parts of the same person.

It’s also more clear now that Rika more or less didn’t really know about Satoko being the culprit until the last minute, and was starting to get flashbacks to the end of Tataridamashi. I’m not entirely sure how to feel about that. It’s kinda hard to believe that Rika wasn’t at least suspecting Satoko by that point, but I do like the implication that Rika wasn’t fully dead when Satoko arrived, since that at least feels like pay-off for Satoko being so cocky and openly monologuing about how evil she is when she thinks Rika’s dead and can’t hear her.

I guess this episode also shows that there wasn’t anything particularly special going on with how Takano decided to confess to Rika in this one specific loop, which is also kinda underwhelming. Basically it seems like it just boils down to her feeling guilty about all of the stuff she remembers doing, but it’s still kinda weird that she didn’t confess to her in any previous loops. One of the weird issues with Gou/Sotsu’s storytelling is that Rika seemingly put no real effort into trying to investigate Takano even though she remembered her being the culprit, and I think that could have been really easily resolved if there was a scene like this in Onidamashi where Takano confesses her sins to Rika and leaves the village, since that would at least give a reason for her to not try and investigate them, and to assume that somebody else is behind these new loops. They could have even just had that happen off-screen and only be shown in Oniakashi if they didn’t want to spoil new fans. It just seems like a really easy change to make that would have made Rika’s passivity and hopelessness in this series way more understandable.

I think we’re also meant to assume that Satoko reacting to the box in this episode was just her faking it, since there’s no real indication that her conscience has returned or anything. But I’m not really sure why Satoko would go out of her way to fake that, when the trap box hadn’t even come up in that timeline. Maybe it would have made more sense if we saw her inner thoughts in that scene, but it kinda feels like they had to come up with some sort of scenario where Satoko would accidentally display knowledge that only a looper would know. Compared to how she’s been almost overpowered and hyper-competent in this series compared to Rika, it has a weird vibe of her being stupid because the plot demands it, lol. Either way it just seems kinda weird and contrived.

We also ended this episode on the gun cliffhanger again, which I saw coming, but it still kinda stings, lol. Hopefully the payoff is worth it. Realistically I think Satoko will just immediately shoot Rika, and we’ll cut to them having a proper confrontation in the meta world. With how they compared it to the ‘miracle’ scene with Takano in Matsuribayashi, it’s possible that they’ll somehow stop Satoko from shooting her, but I dunno. The stuff Hanyuu said about how this ‘isn’t the world that Rika fought for’ makes me think we’re probably not gonna stick with this loop for very long anyway, so I’d rather they just cut to the chase and get to the part where the two of them fight it out in the fragment world once and for all. Which at least seems to be what that one part of the OP is teasing at.

On that note, the only other mysterious part of the OP [and the key visual] left is the older club members in new outfits, which still feels like a bit of a loose thread, but it’s entirely possible that it doesn’t really mean much. For one thing, it could be as simple as it being related to an epilogue scene back in the Matsuribayashi timeline where they’re in different outfits to the ones we saw them wear last time we saw them. Either way I don’t really think the other club members are going to be super relevant to how this all ends, so one way or another whatever that stuff is related to could still just come up in the next two episodes.

Basically the question is just how exactly the big conflicts are gonna get resolved, and what note we’ll end things on. Which also ties into the larger question of whether or not this is genuinely meant to tie into Umineko [and maybe Ciconia] like they’re indicating, or if that’s some kind of elaborate troll.

I know i’m biased, but I think all the Umineko and Ciconia stuff is totally sincere, and Ryukishi really is using this as a way to start tying the wider WTC-verse together in a more concrete way, so that’s what I’m basing my theories off of.

With that in mind, I still think this will end with Rika and Satoko officially abandoning their humanity and becoming witches together, with the sword maybe being an in-universe plot device to depict that process. And with the reveal that Eua and Hanyuu are for all intents and purposes two parts of the same person, I feel like their side of things will probably end with them merging together in a way that creates Featherine, which would at least explain why Featherine’s personality is more mild than Eua’s, and also why Bernkastel is her miko, and why Featherine’s whole name is a giant pun about Hanyuu. It’d also fit with the whole religious motif that Hanyuu has going on if she basically ‘sacrifices’ herself to neutralize Eua. It’s at least the closest I think we’ll get to seeing Eua be ‘defeated’.

And on that note, I don’t really think this will end with anyone like Eua or Satoko being used as a villain who everyone else defeats so they can go back to their happy ending, since that’s the exact sort of thing that Ryuukishi regrets doing originally, and is why we’ve gotten so many redemption arcs for people in Gou/Sotsu. So I think at most we’ll see Eua get turned into Featherine so she’s less actively hostile towards everyone else, but I think this will ultimately end with Rika and Satoko reconciling and mending their relationship.

Over on the Matsuribayashi timeline side of things, I feel like this is gonna end up paralleling Nekodamashi a bit, and we’ll find out that Satoko ended up planning to kill herself in the Saiguden, but Rika and the club will show up at the last minute and she’ll choose not to. Then we’ll probably see her and Rika talk things out properly, and maybe Satoko will find out that Satoshi woke up from his coma or whatever, and that way they’ll all still get their happy ending, while also simultaneously we can still have Rika and Satoko split off their witch selves into separate entities that become the Bern and Lambda we know in Umineko.

It’s possible they’ll do something with the idea of Satoko losing her game and being sent to a world without Rika, but that also might just not happen at all. So who knows.

If they really lean into the idea of this directly setting up for Umineko, then it’d be neat if we also see Satoko and Rika meet Ikuko in the future of the Matsuribayashi timeline.

There’s also the Ciconia teases to think about, but they seem to be going in the direction of Ciconia taking place before all this even happened, so I think that’ll be kept kinda nebulous and unexplored until Ciconia itself finishes. Ryukishi might announce a release date for phase 2 after Sotsu ends, but I think it’s way too early for anything like an anime adaptation of it. I’d rather they wait until at least after it’s finished before they do something like that.

On the other hand, Umineko’s been over for like ten years, so it’d be much easier to do something like a remake for it after this. I have a lot of thoughts about how that might go if they do that, but I’m gonna wait until Sotsu ends and then make a separate post about it.

Anyway I guess now I just have to wait and see what happens next week, lol.

[iknowyouthinkimbulletproof]

If this is the last time- Calum Hood

A/N: first 5sos fic! Calum hood x y/n. Y/n’s gender is female for this fic, it just made it easier to write, my apologies to anyone it might upset, but you can always request. based off of If This Is The Last Time by LANY. Feel free to correct any mistakes! i don’t know if anyone will like this, but i do soooo.

https://open.spotify.com/track/3bsRMvQja4huvPWo1S5ONc  

NOT MY GIF

plot: Entries for y/n’s last diary/book.

2077 words. * marks song lyrics 

-

y/n’s diary:

(June 8th 2081) There's nothing better than the support of your family, so imagine having been admitted to the hospital and having every person you’ve grown to know as family waiting for you to leave the hospital. We knew it was coming, that one of us would have to go, but we didn’t know who and when. It’s me and soon. I’m not afraid though. My family’s strong, I know they are. Today he told me I looked beautiful, like he has every day of our life together, but it felt different. It was like a reassurance that no matter what, he meant his vows. Everything felt different today, even the simple touch of his hands while he drove me to the hospital.  Especially the way our children said they loved me this morning. I’m ready. There's no point in fighting the cancer, it’s too far along and I'm far too old.

*I know we're gettin' old*

(January 15th 2082) It had begun after the boys last tour, the realization that we were no longer as young as we used to be. Our children started high school and y/s/n starting his own band, following in his father’s footsteps. y/d/n was too, but she had taken the football/soccer approach. They were good at it too. y/s/n having the same beautiful voice as Calum, but preferred the drums. He learned from a young age, he never really stopped admiring his uncle Ash. Which was really Ashton’s fault, almost spoiled him as much as Luke did y/d/n. Luke never got the girl he wanted, so he treated her as if he was one of his own. All the boys did, but Luke was like a second father to her. Which didn’t help with the Cake rumors during touring.

*the lines on our hands have changed, But you still look at me the same*

(September 29th 2082)  My life has been amazing, maybe not from the start, but from the moment I laid my eyes on Calum Hood, the past didn’t matter. Nothing matters, nothing but him. Well until my  children of course...and then my grandchildren. He stood by me for all of it and I love him for it. He promised forever and that's what we got. There's nothing I could ever do to repay him, or at least in my eyes. 

*Hey, mom, guess what? You're really tough.*

(November 15th 2082) This is for my children, I hope you’re reading. I love you, I'll always love you because there’s no way not to. From the moment you were both born to the moment your children were born, I was amazed by the amount of growth possible. I hope one day you’ll have the same joy I did watching your grandchildren being raised by the amazing creatures you created. I hope that one day when you pass, it’ll be surrounded by the ones you love.  Thank you for giving me the opportunity to love you, I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I'm very grateful. 

*And I know you did all you could. Just to make sure my life was good*

(December 25th 2082) It was worth it, all of it. The pain, the tears, the blood. My life is complete.

*Sorry for the fights and the tone of my voice, Sorry for the nights when I made the wrong choice*

(January 1st 2083) Not a lot of people know, but Calum and i’s relationship was almost torn apart when our children were in high school. It had nothing to do with them of course, but life for Cal had been stressful. He had confessed he felt like he had no purpose now that he thought his career was over. Of course it wasn’t true, but he was like a bull in a china shop. After many nights of hushed fighting, y/s/n had gotten into it. He had convinced his father to start therapy and got him into football/soccer again. From then on, y/d/n got him to become her team's coach and he stayed there until retirement, he said he felt complete after retirement. 

*Life is flyin' by and it's hittin' me now. I hope it's not, but*

(January 5th 2083) Sitting here rereading all of my old diaries, has me regretting not taking the course of treatment. I'm gonna miss everyone. That might be hard to believe considering I will no longer be roaming the planet, but everyone means so much to me.

*If this is the last time, please come close*

(January 12th 2083) It's too soon.

*I love you with all my heart, you know. I don't wanna cry, I'm bad at goodbye*

(January 13th 2083) This is my written goodbye for those who I love. 

Michael you’ve always been my best friend. I appreciate you taking me in like you knew me forever, like I was there with you and Calum throughout school. I'm sorry I didn't give you another niece to spoil, I know you wanted one you didn’t have to say it. With everything in me, I hope you're the last one of us here, I trust you the most other than Calum to take care of our families. If you are, I hope I don't tear you apart, we’ll all be up here waiting for you.

Luke, where do i start, i owe you 30 bucks. You always said that I would go before Cal, you were right. Don't worry, no hard feelings, none of us actually expected it so soon. But you better be there when my first great-grandchild is born. Make y/d/n name them after me. I'm just kidding, although…… 

 Ashton, thank you for being the big brother I didn't know I needed. Thank you for loving my family like your own and for taking care of Cal when I couldn't. I’m coming to join you right now, see you soon brother.

Kristal, Sierra, and kay-kay…...Bye my bitches, see you soon. I'm just messing with you, you better keep your stubborn asses on this planet a while more. I'll be taking care of ashton for you kay.

For the fans, who have loved my not so small family, there will be a 5sos reunion waiting for you when you pass, but not too soon.

y/d/n and y/s/n stick together or you grounded. I love you, I already said everything I needed to say to you, take care of my grandchildren.

Now Calum, i don’t think i need to write anything for you, we’ve always been honest with each other. Don’t come see me until you’ve met our great-grandchild, stay there for a while until you have enough memories to share with me. Hold our children tight, i know i won’t get to anymore. Just because I'm leaving doesn’t mean you don’t get to spend more time with me, I'll be watching you. When you join me, we’ll get to spend more decades together, and just like the first time you met me, you won’t be able to get away

*If this is the last time,Then let's do the things we always do,Like go to the mall and buy some shoes*

(January 16th 2083) My last day before I'm on bed rest, for the rest of my life in fact. y/d/n was determined to take everyone in the family to the mall. I didn’t get anything of course, but I did suggest a couple of clothing items for my funeral. My funeral, that’s weird to think about. I did get Calum a pair of shoes though. His feet will not walk in with the raggedy old shoes he loves so much.

*I don't wanna cry, I'm bad at goodbye. If this is the last time*

(January 21st 2083) Here I am, on my deathbed, writing what will probably be my last entry. Calum on the other bed in the room, of course he had it pushed next to mine. “We haven’t slept apart in decades, why start now.” I hope he doesn’t take it hard, but I can feel it coming. I can feel the pull. Watching the monitors and seeing the numbers change drastically. We've been saying goodbyes for a while now. As much as it pains me to say this is my final goodbye. Goodbye.

*Hey, dad, what's up? Miss you so much

Yeah, the shade of your hair has changed

But I look up to you the same*

(March 20th 2085) y/n asked us to turn her diary’s into a book series, we had, this is my continuation of the last one. y/s/n has promised to keep publishing them after i’m gone. He said he knew how much it would mean to his mother. Unfortunately this is my last entry as well. I will be joining y/n soon, i knew i wouldn’t make it long without her, i was right. They say i’ll probably die in my sleep sometime this week. I have our children staying with me, waiting till I go. I already said my goodbyes to our grandchildren and my brothers. My mother has been gone for a while, I can't wait to see her again. Mali wished me luck and said she would see us again. I hope it’s not too soon, I want her to be there while y/s/n and y/d/n grieve a second death. y/n said she wasn’t afraid, i understand now. Anyways, I guess this is goodbye. 

*Taught me how to fish, taught me how to ride a bike*

(July 25th 2086) Hey guys, it’s y/s/n and y/d/n this time. I hope you enjoyed reading mom, and some of dad's writings. I'm not quite passing yet, but my sister and I thought this last book is not quite done yet. We wanted to add our goodbyes to mom and dad as well. Maybe we shouldn’t write it here, but it feels right. We wanted to say thank you to all the fans who have supported our parents for decades, or even the newer ones. So thank you, you made our parents who they were and in return, made us and our families who they are. We love it thank you. So, goodbye dad. It might be a few decades till we see each other, but we are currently teaching my son how to ride his bike, just like you did me all those years ago, thank you for that. y/d/n is teaching hers to fish, we know it wasn’t mom's idea of fun, but she always did it with us, so now we are doing it with our families.

*Taught me how to love, how to treat a woman right. Life is flyin' by and it's hittin' me now*

(September 6th 2086)  y/g/d/n here, i asked mom if i could write something as well, just wanted to thank my grandparents for everything! That's a lot to thank for, I know, but I forgot before they passed. I also wanted to inform them that I finally started college, makes me think of what they would have done if they were here.

*If this is the last time, please come close

I love you with all my heart, you know

I don't wanna cry, I'm bad at goodbye

If this is the last time

Then let's do the things we always do

Like go for a drive or watch the news

I don't wanna cry, I'm bad at goodbye

If this is the last time*

(May 7th 2090) The last entry of the last book of my grandmother’s series. It’s y/g/s/n for your information. The last written update, it’s been years since grandma wrote in this book, but she got what she wanted, uncle Michael truly was the last of the bunch. He’s here waiting for his turn, but he did what was asked of him….and Luke. My first child wasn’t named after grandma, but when we were having our second Michael jumped at the opportunity, he’s holding y/n right now. He said she looks like a young grandma, so i guess it’s fitting. He’s on his way to join our family right now, I'm the last to say goodbye. I know you probably heard it a lot in this book, but thank you guys for everything, we love you.

[outerspace-iiinnerspace]

Q S T!!!

Q: Do you have any discarded scenes/storylines/projects?

Too many!! I don't really write a ton of fic so most of my ideas either turn into comics or stay in my head ><

As far as stuff I've started, there was a part in Long Time Gone where Pearl crashes a contra dance. I used to go contra dancing every other week and it was one of the things I missed most when... well, you know. I ended up taking it out because it didn't fit super well in the flow of the story (it would have gone either right before or after that ratty bar) and because it just felt really personal. Too closely based on real stuff? I dunno.

Then there's some half-finished oc stuff, a thing about cotton-candy Garnet that I couldn't figure out how to end, and a few Lexx ideas.

S: Any fandom tropes you can't resist?

I don't know if this counts as a fandom trope specifically but I absolutely melt over really stupid purple prose. Overdramatic love confessions, just anything mushy and sincere. Also, you know the "destined to be together" thing? Any story about the opposite of that, where the fates and the universe itself don't want them to get together but they do anyway because screw you universe!! And then it ends in tragedy (of course) but they never regret a moment, or if they do it's still worth it in the end.

As for non romantic tropes, I love canon from an outsider perspective. Some of my favorite fics I've read are canon from an outsider perspective. Super hard to do well, but when it's good it's so good! Yes, I want to know how weird everything looks when someone shows up who has no context.

T: Any fandom tropes you can't stand?

Again, I don't know if it counts as a trope, but I don't like when people completely alter a character's personality to facilitate a plot, especially when they acknowledge it like "haha i know so-and-so isn't [scared of fish or whatever] but just go with it :3" Just write the character! Come with a good reason or just write an oc! Possibly related but I'm also not a fan of aus that are completely divorced from the source material. At that point just make it an original thing! I've done that! It's not that hard!

[personasintro]

[5] Your first Christmas alone

⏤𝚜𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢: It’s your first time spending the Christmas alone, just you and Yoongi.

⏤𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚛𝚎: fluff

⏤𝚠𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜: the slightest hint of angst and smut mention

A/N: This is a part of series called ‘Away From You’. This drabbles will contain scenes that didn’t make it to actual series. You don’t have to read the series to actually understand this, but some of the drabbles will be involved around the plot.

Series link

drabbles index

“Fuck!” you frustratedly yell, as another Christmas ball ends up scattered on the floor. This is the third one you managed to break in the span of ten minutes you started to decorating the Christmas tree. “I knew I should’ve bought a plastic ones.” you mutter under your breath, as Yoongi watches you with amused eyes and a grin from the couch.

“I told you these would be easier to break.” he points out, grinning when you shoot him a nasty glare his way. He doesn’t feel threatened and finding you cute instead, as he chuckles at you.

He’s right. He told you once you started to admire pinkish rose gold glittery balls with heart eyes, until the saleswoman told you they’re made from glass. Even that small information and Yoongi’s warning didn’t stop you from putting them in your basket. You could already imagined how great it’d look on your white Christmas tree with a huge bow on the top of the tree.

“You could help me, instead of just sitting there and being smart.” you remark with the roll of your eyes as you reach for the broom, sweeping the mess on the floor.

This is your first Christmas alone. You’ve spent it with Yoongi’s parents and their house for the past two years, when they invited you, which you think was Yoongi’s idea in the first place. You knew his mother isn’t a fan of yours ever since the beginning of your relationship. Those two years spending the Christmas with them, instead of your own family, were tough. You couldn’t properly relax and enjoy the Christmas’ spirit under her cold eyes and the lack of her attention she gave you. She made you feel unwanted there and you’re sure everyone in the room could notice it. Yoongi would just always reach for your hand under the table and squeeze it to let you know he’s there for you. He gave you one of the warmest smiles he barely gave you when just the two of you were friends. That’s what Yoongi’s mother wanted you to be in the first place. Just his friend.

Even a stupid person could tell she imagines someone better for her son, especially now that he took after his father’s huge company, holding their family name in his power.

Fortunately for you, you haven’t been present when Yoongi announced his mother you would be spending this year’s Christmas alone in your new home. Yoongi admitted, once you didn’t stop to bother him about it, that she wasn’t too happy about it. This would be her first Christmas without their precious and only son, another reason for her to hate you. But you don’t care, you want to spend it with him. You don’t want to think about sitting straight and putting fake smile on, everytime one of them would look at you.

“You don’t regret spending this year’s Christmas with me, right?” Your voice is small but loud enough to reach Yoongi’s ears as you put the broom away.

You watch his head snap to yours, as his sharp eyes widen in surprise by your sudden question. His heart breaks as you nervously shift on your spot, looking too small beside 220 meters tall Christmas tree.

“Oh, baby,” Yoongi calls, already standing up and making his way to you, enveloping you in a tight hug. Biting your lip, you try to fight the urge to cry, pushing the tears away.

You know how Yoongi’s family is important for him. He loves his mother despite of her dislike towards you, sometimes you wish he would stand up to her. It was enough of argument when she found out you won’t be having a real Christmas tree, but an artificial one. You wanted a white Christmas tree, it’s been your dream about a few years and Yoongi was kind enough to agree with you. Or more likely, he doesn’t really care about that kind of stuff. Planning Christmas and all the decorating was your job.

“Why would you ask me something like that?” he pulls away, his soft warm eyes boring into yours as he kisses the tip of your nose. “Of course, I want to spend it with you. In our new home.”

“But wouldn’t you rather be with them as well?” you ask, eyes daring to look at him with the slightest raise of your brow.

You’ve always spend the Christmas with parents, until they got divorced and you were left with your mom alone. You don’t want to admit it and you’ve never openly spoken about it with Yoongi, but every year you knew you’d be spending it at his parents’ house, you started to dislike this magical holiday. You’ve always loved it as a kid. Not just for presents’, which were a big plus to your list why you love Christmas, let’s be honest, but you loved the time where you were with your loved ones. There were no arguments, no chasing after something, no school at that time —another huge plus— good food and just your family. Growing up you learned not to care about presents and appreciate each other’s company and health instead. You only felt a huge stress to find someone a perfect present for them, especially when your mom just told you ‘you don’t have to get me anything’.

“I’ve to admit, it’s weird not to spending it with them, but I like this. Just us. I love seeing you everytime I wake up or how you cook a meals for me in our kitchen, I love seeing you buying a new stuff to our home, I love seeing you decorating the Christmas tree and breaking some of the decorations,” he teases you with a grin, waiting for you to smack his chest and once you do, he chuckles and continues. “Don’t ever think that I regret this because I love you, kitten.”

Blushing at his pet name, you look at your and Yoongi’s feet, grinning to yourself at his confession. It’s always nice to hear him say it.

Back at the time when you both were only friends, you couldn’t imagine Yoongi saying ‘I love you’ to someone. Maybe it was his cold and careless facade he used to put one every day, only his closest friend and family knew how wrong that description is about him. And now, he’s saying it to you with the softest and loving tone in his voice, while adoring you with his eyes.

Yoongi ticks his finger under your chin to have you look at him, and once you do, he grins finding you adorable looking so shy after all these years of being together in a relationship.

“Say it back.” he insists childishly with teasing voice causing you to giggle as he tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“I love you.” you tell him, your heart racing as if it was the first time you’ve said it. It’s not. But it still makes your heart flatter at the confession, meanwhile Yoongi’s heart is ready to jump out of his chest.

Fuck, how much he loves hearing you saying it.

He kisses the tip of your nose so softly, that you barely feel the soft pillows of his lips. “Say it again.” he hums, leaning his forehead against yours.

“I love you.” you whisper, his eyes happily dancing across your features, admiring your make-up free face from close.

This time, his mouth find yours, but it’s quick and light causing you to pout.

“Again.” he demands gently again, his hands grabbing your face, the thumbs slowly caressing your cheekbones.

“I love you.” you giggle, finding the moment extremely warming and funny at the same time as you see the slightest hint of amusement in his eyes.

In one swift movement, he presses his lips onto yours, taking you by surprise by the roughness of his kiss. He bites into your lower lip, pulling it slightly as you whimper against his mouth. You can feel the smirk creeping on his lips as he keeps kissing you, tongue meddling with your own. Pulling away, the both of you catching your breath, you feel almost drunk from the lack of oxygen and intensity of your kissing. There’s a tingling feeling on your lips, which is left by his own, while your stomach is ready to erupt with butterflies and joy. But that’s not the only thing and emotion you’ve felt. You felt, no you feel, the love.

“Was that enough to convice you?” he asks, his arms wrapped around your hips while your ones are one his firm chest.

Yoongi isn’t one to work out every day, trying to build his muscles, but fuck, his chest is firm under the tip of your fingers and palm.

“Mhm,” you nod, tracing a random patterns on his chest while his eyes are focused solely on you. “you could convice me more by gifting me a kitten, or a puppy, I don’t mind either one.”

You’ve been trying to talk Yoongi into having a small kitten or a puppy for the longest time, well, ever since you moved in together. With Yoongi preparing himself for the position of the CEO, you mostly spent your time alone at home, if you’re not working. You get lonely and despite of Yoongi’s ways of showing you that you’re not, everytime he comes home, sometimes it’s just not enough. You just with there would be another living creature with you on the cold nights or early mornings when he’s at the company. Also, you’re pretty aware of Yoongi’s opinion about that.

That’s why the roll of his eyes and a groan leaving his lips doesn’t catch you by surprise, as you ruined the romantic mood between the two of you. You can’t help but grin at him, pleadingly looking at him.

“I’m sorry, baby. No cat or dog.” he tells you and you sigh in disappointment.

“But why?” You can’t help but childishly whimper as you stomp your feet.

You should have Hoseok here, he’d be on your side on this one.

This is your home as much as it is Yoongi’s, he made that clear ever since he was the one who bought the house. He never wanted you to feel like you’re living at his place, because it’s yours. The both of your names are on the contract. Another reason for his mother to hate you. You overheard her scolding him as soon as she found out about that. She probably still haven’t gone through the fact that her adult son moved out.

“Because you work every day, baby. Having a pet takes a lot of time and attention. We both just don’t have time for taking care of someone, something else.” he explains gently to you and god, you feel so dumb because you know he’s right.

You do feel alone. Especially when you come home and Yoongi’s still not there. Or when you wake up on the weekends and Yoongi’s warmth isn’t nowhere to be found on your huge bed, just a small note on your nightstand informating you he had to go to the company. He’s trying, you know that. You can see how much he’s struggling to balance you and his work.

“Come on, I’ve help you with decorating and then we can watch some Christmas movie.” he interweaves your fingers as he pulls you towards the undecorated Christmas tree, already reaching for a box full of new Christmas decorating balls. 

He gives you a goofy smile, disappearing behind the bushes of the tree as he starts hanging on all the decorations. That’s all you need for your worries to drop, a pleasant smile adoring your lips instead as you start decorating, trying not to break any other decorations.

“Open it.” you nudge your present to Yoongi into his hands, excited to see his reaction. Is he going to like it? What if he thinks it’s lame? What if he cringes as he does every time he thinks something is lame?

He chuckles at your peering eyes, the wood quietly cracking in the fireplace and the smell of cinnamon and gingerbread dough are slightly calming down your nerves. You watch his slim and long fingers tearing the wrapping paper, your minutes of hard work destroyed just in seconds, but you don’t mind. 

When you catch a glimpse of white frame you picked a few weeks, on your mission to find a perfect present for Yoongi, your nerves starts to panic again. It’s already stressful enough to find something worthy to Yoongi. He can basically buy anything he points at. There was nothing that he doesn’t have, which made it even way harder for you to buy him something. As much as your job pays good, you don’t think you’d be able to buy him a new car, which he bought himself just a few weeks ago anyway. 

His face doesn’t show much reaction in the process of unwrapping, his brows are even slightly furrowed, maybe in concentration or something else. He’s hard to read sometimes. Until he flips the frame and sees the main substance of this present. It’s one of your first pictures you’ve taken as a couple. 

You remember that day perfectly. He was too shy to snap a few pictures with you, but ended up to do it anyway. After a fair amount of pictures, he loosened up and you couldn’t help but pick the best one. It’s the one where you smile, your face turned to Yoongi as your eyes are focused only at him, while he grins into the camera showing his gummy smile and set of teeth. 

The picture itself didn’t need much editing, but you added a faint effect to make colours pop more. 

“I know it’s nothing fancy, but I liked this idea.” you mumble, suddenly feeling awkward as he stares at the picture with the faintest smile. You glance at your unwrapped presents and shopping bags he gave you. 

Expensive brands of clothing adoring the white paper bags, even the small box of Swarovski bracelet mockingly staring at you. You don’t need any of those. You specifically told that to Yoongi, but he still went and bought the most expensive things. 

He even surprised you by having your old car repaired and cleaned to the point, it looks like new. He even told you he wanted you to buy you a new car, but then he remembered you told him you’d move out if he really did that. 

“This is perfect, thank you, baby.” he says, gently putting down the frame onto the coffee table before he envelopes your lips with his own.

He kisses you passionately, showing you his gratitude. 

“I wish I could be this good with buying presents.” he admits, once he pulls away from you.

“What are you talking about? Yoongi you overdid yourself this Christmas, although, I told you I don't want any expensive presents. I don’t need them.” you remind him again, scowling at his grinning face as he already knows where this is going. 

“I know, I just wanna show you how much I love you. Who else would I give it to when not to you? I mean it, when I said you’re my everything.”

For more than once, you’re speechless again at the confession passing his lips. The Yoongi you used to know, would never talk so freely and lovingly towards anyone. You discovered a new side of him and you’re lucky to experience it every day. 

“I don’t know? Charity or something,” you mutter, not wanting to sound ungrateful. That’s not what you’re aiming at. “I don’t want your money, Yoongi. I want you.” you tell him and for some reason, he’s just smiling at you. 

He looks at you with sprinkles in his eyes and your breath hitches as he bites his lower lip. “I know, that’s why I love you.” 

Before you can react, or say it back, he already pulls you against him and starts to kissing you. You melt into his touch, his fingers gripping the back of your neck as he starts to trail kissing down your chin to your neck. 

“Fuck, I love you so much.” he admits and you chuckle, burying your fingers into his soft dark hair. 

“I love you.” you tell him as he slowly puts you down on your large couch, settling himself between your legs. 

His hands disappear beneath your t-shirt, you both completely ignoring the rule of styling yourself for the Christmas your both families have, staying in your comfy clothes instead. You’re family now. You’ve your own traditions to make. 

“Merry Christmas, kitten.” he says as he pecks your stomach causing you to giggle at the soft touch of his tickling lips. 

“Merry Christmas.” you tell him back with smile, cut off by a loud moan right after as he cups your clothed centre, grinning at you between your legs. 

“The gingerbread you bought tasted great, but I need my dessert right now.” 

You’re not even embarrassed at the fact that you didn’t bake and simply bought  everything in the store, you can’t be, not when those words leave his mouth already pulling down your sweatpants.

Merry Christmas, indeed. 

[shirtlesssammy]

15x13: Destiny’s Child

Welcome to our last new recap for a while (frowny face). We’ve got a couple requests that we’re going to work on in the next couple weeks, and then chip away at all the episodes we have yet to do while we not-so-patiently wait for more episodes. If you have requests, don’t hesitate to ask! 

Then:

Cas loves one (1) pizza man.

Now:

Late night study sesh in the bunker is interrupted when Sam and Dean hear a weird noise down the hall. They take off for the armory, only to find a Fiat and ---SAM AND DEAN?! (And while I guess it’s not, I’m just rolling with the idea that Savage Garden is blasting from that little clown car. I mean, really, what a perfect song and one I never thought would EVER pop up on this show --okay, or any show, it’s been like 20 years since I’ve heard that song, lol.)

The rift flickers and Alt!Sam and Dean disappear. 

They tell Cas about what happened. Billie pops up to tell them that Chuck is almost done destroying all the other worlds. They have to be ready --and by that, she means, it’s time for the next step in Jack’s training. He needs to find the Occultum. Sam helpfully translates that as “hidden.” It is hidden --lost for centuries. 

Once Billie takes off, Sam sets to learning more about the Occultum. There isn’t much. Dean ponders the futility of killing God. Doesn’t Jack need to kill Amara too? Cas gets a lead on the Occultum from Sergei. Dean and Cas flirt unnecessarily. Cas is so patient with all of Dean’s ideas, I can’t help but think that this is a common thing with these two.

Anyway, the Occultum was owned by the Jacobson family for a long time, until they used it as payment to heal their son. The healer was “attractive, and she healed the child by laying on hands which glowed.” I don’t know if there’s been an unattractive person in this universe, so good luck finding the healer! 

Lol, j/k, there’s only one angel healer that’s attractive out there! Sam and Dean find Anael and want her help with killing God. She thinks it’s wiser to stay on the side of the all-powerful being. When the brothers flash their angel blades (eerrr…), Anael confesses that the Occultum is really with Ruby. (I was one of the many rage viewers with this, but well, we’ve been rage watching these writers for so long, and we’ve had to handwave SO much over the years. What’s another plot point that we can easily headcanon at this point? Sigh.)

We get a flashback of Ruby and Anael negotiating the sale of the Occultum. Anael then tells them that the Occultum was never actually sold because they ganked Ruby before she could do anything with it. It’s now safely hidden in Hell. 

Jack, meanwhile, is busy getting back to life. 

Cas finds him in the kitchen eating EVERYTHING. Jack notes that coming back alive really makes you pay attention to what life is. “Hot, cold, sweet, spicy, funny, scary.” (Kind of like Sam when he was soulless, Jack is describing sensations, and not feelings, emotions, not really getting at what life really is.) They talk about Jack’s soul and what he felt when he had one.

Jack admits that he understands that he hurt Sam and Dean, and wonders if Dean will ever forgive him for what he did to Mary. “Dean, he feels things, more acutely than any human I’ve ever known. So, it’s possible he could work through this. One day, he may explode, and let it all out, and breathe deeply and move on.” 

Okayokayokayokay. Jack wants to know how long that’ll take and Cas admits that he doesn’t know, and I’M FEELING about how this ageless, ancient being is just WAITING for Dean to do this very thing. He has all the time in the world from his perspective. He knows Dean --really knows him, and it doesn’t matter how long for him because time doesn’t really matter for Cas (I mean, I think being close to humanity and all it probably means more than it used to but...I’m just rambling about my feelings right now. This is Boris --Natasha is far more coherent and eloquent with her thoughts, lol.)

The brothers make it back to the bunker, planning on heading to Hell. Cas leads them to a room where Alt!Sam and Dean are stuck between the worlds. Dean doesn’t care at this moment --he wants to get the Occultum. They tell Cas their plan and he thinks they’re crazy. They could be searching forever down there. (UH, they’re LITERALLY BFFs with the Queen of Hell.) 

Anyway, Dean and Sam head south while Cas babysits the spell. 

Cas still doesn’t like this plan and hatches a plan with Jack so he can talk with Ruby in the Empty. 

(I know, you just have to roll with Buckleming episodes, etc., but their insistence on making it beyond easy to jump from realm to realm is MADDENING.) 

We get a mention of Cas’s deal with the Empty, so that really is still a thing. Cas is “far from happy”, so we’re good!

His plan is for Jack to “draw out most of [his] lifeforce” and store it in a flask. What’s his “lifeforce”? His grace? Something more? Something else? How does he die without his grace? How is he just mostly dead but still able to go to the Empty? 

We’re also giving this exchange: “If I screw up?” “Well, then I’ll be lost forever.” WHOA. What kind of fucked up parenting are you writing, Buckleming? Good thing Jack doesn’t have a soul, because that’ll mess with a child forever.

Also, why can Jack use his powers now? 

Sam and Dean are ambushed in Hell. Anael wanted them dead apparently and made a deal with some demons (ONCE AGAIN, like Rowena would allow this to happen!?!??) They’re Sam and Dean Winchester though and easily dispatch the demons. 

Cas stalks through the Empty calling for Ruby. “Hello, Clarence,” a familiar voice says and Cas turns to find Meg reclining on a throne. He looks sweetly surprised to see her before his face falls as he realizes she’s the Shadow from the Empty. 

The Shadow may be allied with Billie, but they’re definitely not good buds with Cas. Nevertheless, “Go get her, pizza man,” Shadow!Meg says and a ball of flame swirls towards Cas and turns into Ruby. 

Cas asks about the Occultum, and Ruby asks after Sam. Cas refuses to answer and, since I’ve been stress re-reading some regency romances lately, I’m gonna go ahead and say he acts like an affronted chaperone. 

For Gratuitous Cas Science:

We see another flashback of Ruby and Sister Jo’s wild adventures, only this time Jo is the one who invited Ruby to talk to her. Jo tries to tempt Ruby into hiding from the apocalypse in the Occultum. It turns out it’s a place AND a thing. A whatever, if you will. Ruby cut a deal with Jo, hid the object, and then died her noble death. 

Ruby promises to help Cas as long as he can get her out of the Empty. You see, instead of lullabies and sweet dreams, or even quiet and no dreams, the Empty is nothing but endless reels of regrets playing over and over for every angel and demon trapped there. “Yeah, I know,” Cas says quietly and we all break a little bit thinking about how he swore it was nothingness instead of constant emotional torture. (That’s SO on brand.) Cas promises to try to free Ruby in exchange for her intel.

The Winchesters return to find Jack babysitting the spell alongside a MOSTLY DEAD Cas. Despite Jack’s (actually really terrible) explanation, Dean and Sam demand that Jack bring Cas back right away. Jack unscrews the flask.

Cas isn’t getting out of this so easily, though. The Shadow smirks and clenches Shadow!Meg’s fist, sending Cas to the ground in pain. The Shadow still is no fan of Cas, and is only willing to uphold deals with Billie, who promised to send the Shadow back to a lovely snooze if they cooperate. 

The Shadow ruminates on the fact that Billie has never mentioned Cas as being essential to her plan. This makes Cas expendable. 

Cas sputters to life suddenly, only to face Dean’s angry-worried greeting. “You’re an idiot, by the way!” Apparently still in pain or just suffering from almost-not-quite-dead-and-now-actually-quite-alive syndrome, Cas hauls himself up slowly and explains that he now has all the info they need to find the Occultum. “Am I still an idiot?” Listen, boys. Kiss and make up, mmkay?

They’re off to tackle the Occultum quest, but before they go they need to set out some decoys to throw Chuck off their scent if he tries to spy on the bunker. Dean suggests pulling AU Dean and Sam out of the void and setting them up as fake Sam and Dean. He flippantly suggests using Cas’s grace to power the rift this time and FOR THE LOVE OF PIZZA DEAN it’s called body autonomy. 

Cut to the Winchesters Set One and Set Two seated at the map table with beers all around. We learn:

Alt Winchesters are also hunters

Their dad is alive (but still SUPER controlling)

They don’t drink beer or watch porn

Private planes fly them all over the world to fight monsters

Their AU could be a middling CW pilot about wealthy monster hunters called “Hunter Corp”

I have a greater appreciation of our flannel-clad boys

Dean and Sam clumsily explain their ploy and their relationship with God and it’s not weird at all! 

Later, Team Free Will 2.0 heads to a small church. It’s guarded by a hellhound, which makes Dean SUPER happy and comfortable in his skin. They break into the church and look for clues about where the treasure is hiding. The clue is that the top of a cross points to the treasure. Moonlight streams conveniently through the window and at JUST the right angle to cast a cross of light on the floor. They pull out a little velvet bag from the floorboards.

Cas reads Enochian on the little golden snitch-style ball. “In order to be in the Occultum, the Occultum must be in you.” 

Back at the bunker, Alt!Dean and Sam enjoy their new rugged life. Sam watches kitten videos, and we continue to identify very strongly with him, indeed. Alt!Dean finds porn on Dean’s computer and I continue to ask WHY WHY we have to constantly cycle back to Busty Asian Beauties. Porn isn’t objectionable, but that SPECIFIC porn franchise should have died a swift death back in season two. (Boris: AMEN)

Jack swallows the Occultum, as one does. “Spit it out,” Dean demands. But Jack disappears into a flare of light. He wakes up in a garden. 

No, he wakes up in THE Garden. He’s greeted by a young girl who tells him that humans are prohibited. A snake confronts Jack. “Who are you really? Who are you meant to be?” Jack flashes through his good and bad memories and suffers an epiphany. 

He flutters back into the church like Tinkerbell in a ball of light before zapping back into reality. His reappearance burns away the two hellhounds. 

Back at the bunker, Dean sends the Alt Winchesters off to Brazil to enjoy the beach. He’s a little uncomfortable around them until he learns that the Alt Winchesters drove Baby. Then they get shoved out of the bunker just as fast as you please.

Once they’re gone, Cas tells Sam and Dean that Jack has returned changed. He leads them to Jack who hunches over the kitchen table. Jack is crying. He apologizes for killing Mary. He has his soul back!

“Please forgive me,” Jack whispers, and a symphonic line carries us into the black.

Overall Surprisingly Enjoyable Quotes:

The healthcare system sucks so I pick up the slack

Cas, you know what’s good about being dead?

I’m far from happy, so I should be fine

We had a good thing until he killed me

You’re gonna have to lose the man bun

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

[bnhablessings]

Spying with Love!

NN is still going on forever in my heart. This is a one-shot I thought of to contribute to the love of Sof and NN. I imagine this would take place after Denki comes over and ruins Shouto’s OJ

Sof is an amazing writer and I love her so go check her out! @myherowritings​

(Sof you changed Todoroki for me so I had to include alien-related things in here. :’) I hope you enjoy this thing, bby! <3)

If you somehow have not read Number Neighbor please go read it. Here is the (Masterlist). You will not regret it. : )

Summary: (Name) needs to make sure her best friend is being treated well by his new boyfriend so she becomes a spy with her other roommates. Plot twist: He knows

Words: 1,798

Todoroki Shouto x Midoriya Izuku (Of course I’d grab the chance to have them be dating so yes. They are an item in this.)

Shinsou Hitoshi x Kaminari Denki

----

“Stop pushing!” You whisper-shout while glancing around the corner of the street cautiously.

The two males a few feet behind you share a glance with each other. Both are wondering who the hell you’re talking to. You turn back to look at them as you place a finger on your lips.

“(Name), this is no time to be joking around,” Todoroki murmurs as he glances at his partner with a slight serious pout.

Midoriya nods his head and tries to bring you back to their reality, “C’mon (Name). You know how Shouto gets when we’re running low on orange juice.”

“SHHHHH-“

They finally come near you and peak their own heads around the corner. To their surprise, you had spotted Shinsou and his new boyfriend they briefly met. With a smug look on your face you wiggle your eyebrows at them.

“No. We need the orange juice,” Todoroki states his eyes narrowing down slightly as he just a teeny-bit conflicted.

You’re about to get on your knees to beg the weirdo to spy with you when Midoriya pipes in with a brilliant idea.

“Why don’t we spy on them on their next date tomorrow?”

…Why didn’t you think of that?

“Wait what date?” You ask realizing you had no idea they had a date tomorrow.

Todoroki raises an eyebrow as he intertwines his hand with Midoriya’s. He’s ready to leave you for not remembering the conversation held earlier when you met Kaminari. They turn towards the direction of the grocery store and ignore your now crying form.

~*~

“What? How rude. He said we all probably look stupid,” You inform your other spies of what your bestie, Bakugou, had texted.

Todoroki wants to scoff at that response while Midoriya flushes from the slight truth of it. You give your bestie a crying emoji before deciding to text him the updates later. In the meantime, you have more important business to deal with.

You push your beanie further down on your head until it touches the top of the dark sunglasses you’re wearing. All of you are wearing dark-colored schemed clothing, beanies, and sunglasses for this important mission. Bakugou may be slightly, only a smidge, correct. You all look like you are in a cult infiltrating this mall.

The strange looks you are all getting won’t deter what needs to be done!

You make sure you keep a good distance while taking cute (kind of creepy) photos with your phone of an oblivious Shinsou and Kaminari holding hands. This goes on for a while as the three of you watch with careful and curious eyes as they do many things.

They share a smoothie together and heart is soaring from how happy Shinsou looks. Kaminari is good in your book. That is until Midoriya points out a store they are headed to. This will be the judgement of fashion.

They walk into the flashy store.

The three of you watch from the shop across. You are judging the yellow boy as he picks up a pair of clothing. “I get his theme is yellow but… Honey, no. Those don’t match.” You want to desperately call out to him.

Midoriya tilts his head, “Look. Shinsou is helping him out. Black or white goes with yellow perfectly. Maybe brown.”

“He’s giving off weird vibes… Are you sure he didn’t knock over my juice on purpose?” Todoroki glances at the two of you for confirmation.

You roll your eyes while Midoriya, in vain, does his best to comfort the dual-haired boy who is now over-analyzing everything… Which could turn to your favor in needing to know if this weird but bright kid will be good to your sarcastic best friend. It doesn’t hurt to be on the safe side.

“You know what? Maybe he did knock your orange juice over on purpose. He’s obviously not an alien as he a bit dummy in the head but- Quick, what other things have you noticed off about him?” You ask.

His eyes narrow down in focus as he starts to list things off at the top of his head, “His hair is weird with that black stripe but he seems to be born with that so never mind. I have noticed that he stutters, his skin seems to flush, his eyes go a bit sparkly, and his smile turns wider when he’s all near Shinsou. If he got abducted by an alien maybe they are using him as a test subject to watch over Shinsou. We need to find out why they would be into Shinsou though. Wait. All those symptoms… sound familiar."

Midoriya lets out a squeak as Todoroki looks at him. You are trying to hold yourself back from laughter and the pain of wanting to hit him with love.

“Midoriya, do you remember that one night a month ago when I felt a sudden chest pain in my heart?” Todoroki asks.

You remember it clearly and it’s taking all you have not to cry now. All of you were binge-watching horror movies and all you said was they looked rather cozy since they were leaning against each other. You didn’t expect Midoriya to malfunction and Todoroki to ask for clarification on the meaning “cozy”.

You don’t regret changing the context at all because it gave Midoriya the courage to confess and here we are.

Midoriya nods with a slight blush as he says, “That… That was before we started dating, Shouto.”

“Is this all a ploy from the alie-“

“Let me stop you right there, dimwit. Those chest pains were your love wavelengths are whatever. Anyway, those symptoms you listed is the proof that the Pikachu weirdo does love our boy,” You state with a smile.

It forces all of you to glance back and see the two males walk out of the store with a bag in hand.

You casually take another photo only to have someone completely photobomb it. It appears to be a girl younger than your crew and immediately your eyes widen in a slight panic. She’s being touchy with your boy.

“He was just recognized right now wasn’t he?” Midoriya questions.

You nod your head frantically ready to go fight the girl who looks to be thirteen, way too young to be thirsting after your best friend.

“No. This may be a tactic the government is using to-“ Todoroki stops talking as all three of you watch in slight horror and fascination on what is going on.

Kaminari is literally prying the girl off Shinsou. She’s screaming, making a huge scene, and refusing to let go of the purple-haired boy… She just elbowed Kaminari in the face.

“I LOVE YOUR MAPLESTORY VIDEOS! PLEASE HUG ME BACK!” Her voice is so loud it made your heart jump out of fright.

Midoriya is conflicted as he asks, “Do we um… go help defuse this?”

“We aren’t here and we don’t know them,” Todoroki replies with ease while reaching for Midoriya’s hand and the back of your shirt with the other.

Yeah, he knows everything. You were ready to go “scold” a child.

“This can be Kaminari’s test since he is a fellow fan of Shinsou,” Midoriya notes.

…He does have a point. This would be a wonderful test to see how far Kaminari will go for Shinsou. Plus, it’ll be interesting to watch… Todoroki lets go of both of you and already has his phone out recording this monstrosity.  

Honestly, the whole thing got really weird and petty fast. Kaminari and the girl start a screaming match at each other. They are shouting which videos are the best and when they saw it. Finally, Kaminari grows a pair and stands up to the terrifying child.

“Listen- You are a baby. You stand no chance with him. He is on a God tier level,” Kaminari says.

He has the audacity to snap his fingers at her.

Instead of the tears, you were expecting, she goes crazy. She finally lets go of Shinsou and lunges herself at the poor now traumatized blond.  

Before she can cause any damage a new and incredibly buff stranger appears. His voice is deep and honestly, you can see Kaminari having a heart attack as the stranger addresses him.

“You. Why are you upsetting my baby sister?”

OH GOD. Is this really about to get worse??

Todoroki thankfully stopped filming and is on board with defusing this now dangerous situation. He grew a heart seeing as Kaminari won’t have a pretty face if this continues on. Midoriya is the first to reveal that you are all here, by casually saying hello with a constipated look on his face.

You don’t blame him.

“Stay out of this squirts. I’m talking to Pikachu over here and I am not repeating myself.”

To your complete and utter surprise, Kaminari starts to laugh. Shinsou finally moves like he hasn’t been on pause this whole time and gives the guy and girl ten bucks each. He thanks them and they leave content.

“What just happened?” You ask voicing Midoriya’s thoughts.

Todoroki seems a bit annoyed as he mumbles, “I knew this was a ploy. I just thought it’d be by the government.”

“You should have seen your faces! How was my acting?” Kaminari questions in-between his laughing.

Shinsou just smirks as he states, “You really need to learn how to be better spies. Also, don’t voice your entire plan over breakfast.”

“…You are telling me you weren’t gone this morning? And that whole scene just now was all an act? Those were actors?” Midoriya is the one voicing your question now.

You feel quite stupid yet impressed when Shinsou nods.

“You gave me a fright. Anyway, I’m just happy that you two seem to be good for each other! Though, Kaminari, if you do anything to him that he doesn’t like, you will be answering to us personally!” You try to glare at him.

You just look like an angry teddy bear. Midoriya copied you and looks like an angry cinnamon roll. Thankfully, Todoroki actually looks menacing as he glares at the blond (mostly because he still believes he’s been abducted).

Shinsou finally wears that lazy smile on his face and says in a rather sincere voice, “Thank you guys for worrying about me.”

“Anytime, my sweet baby!” You pull him into a hug.

Shinsou continues as he makes eye contact with his boyfriend, “You heard them. You’ll after face them if you ever hurt me. Though, I should warn you that I carry sharp objects around for fun.”

Kaminari gulps out of nervousness for a second before he laughs. Yeah, he thinks Shinsou is joking but you know better. All that matters is that they seem to genuinely like each other now and that makes you happy for them.

[herefortheships]

Tonight is it. Tonight is the series finale of Supernatural. 

When I started watching this show in 2009, I had no idea the impact it would later have in my life. I owe so much to Supernatural, and especially Destiel, for the person I became. This show basically feels like a part of me, and even though I did fall out of love with it for some time, I never stopped watching it, because Sam, Dean, Cas, and later Jack, meant so much to me, even though I didn’t like the story/plot anymore, I cared to see how their stories would end. 

I had never gotten this emotionally involved with a TV show in my life. I’d say I got even more involved than Buffy, which is the other big TV show in my life. The difference probably lies on the fact that I binge watched Buffy, but I watched Supernatural real-time for 11 years. 

Here is my story with Supernatural:

I first heard of the show from one of my best friends at University. She was a huge fan. She recommended the show to me in 2008. She showed me images she had saved of Dean and Sam, and told me the basics of it; she was a Wincest shipper (later converted to a Destiel shipper), so her biggest investment in SPN was the brothers. I didn’t think Dean and Sam (Jensen and Jared) were as handsome as she thought they were. haha But she was crazy about them! I didn’t really get interested in watching the show; it didn’t exactly sound like something I’d watch.

Later, in 2009, my mom left the TV on as we sorted the laundry, and Supernatural was playing on TNT. My mom is a huge fan of Charmed, and she would always watch the Charmed reruns on TNT. She left it on and Supernatural started, and she got interested so she kept watching it. I don’t remember exactly which episode was playing (maybe the Wendigo episode? Not sure, but it was an early season episode). And after that day, we kind of started watching it out of order. 

I became really interested in the show and kept watching it after that day with my mom and sisters, but I wouldn’t exactly call myself a fan. I mean, I was a fan, but I still wasn’t that emotionally invested. When I could finally watch the entire show up to that point in order until Swan Song, that’s when I was already emotionally invested. I had become a “Sam!girl” and I cared so much about what was going to happen next. I was really happy when I found that a season 6 was happening and Sam was alive and out of Hell, and I was really happy to see that it was Sera Gamble running it, because her episodes had been my favorite. (I regretted being excited about Sera Gamble later though lol). 

During season 6 it’s when I started to notice Destiel. Or at least, I started noticing that Castiel was in love with Dean. In my mind, though, there was no way Dean was in love with Cas because for me back then, Dean was straight. I was also raised very conservative and catholic, so for me back then, homosexuality was a sin and it made me uncomfortable to think about it. Especially when deep inside, I wondered if I was not straight myself and I was scared about it--I knew I wasn’t exactly straight, but I was afraid to even consider the possibility (turns out, I’m asexual--I’ll get to that in a minute). For me Dean was straight even if Cas did love him. I started hearing about Destiel around that time in the internet, too. And my sister from the moment she saw Cas’ intro she was like “that’s Dean’s man”, though I thought she was joking. I saw Destiel art for the first time under Facebook posts, and I remember replying to those posts that it was beautiful art, but “the show is about Sam and Dean, about the brothers” (How dumb was I. lol).

So, I watched through seasons 6 and 7, and around this time Cas had become a favorite character for me, and seeing what Sera Gamble did with the character really hurt me. I hated the Megstiel fling they wrote for Cas, and hated what happened to Cas in season 7 when he lost his mind. That was painful to watch (I especially hated the Megstiel in season 7, it felt like... rape? If you know what I mean, since Cas wasn’t okay in his mind I felt like she could take advantage of him... That’s another conversation for another time, though). I had fallen out of love with Supernatural for the first time during season 7. But watching Supernatural had become something obvious for me and my family, you know? We’d always watch it, even if I wasn’t enjoying the story anymore. So, when season 8 started, we were right there to watch. 

And that’s when I really, really, saw Destiel happen right before my eyes. It was episode 8x02, and Dean remembered the moment he found Cas in Purgatory. That scene, that moment... I ran to my sister’s room (who was no longer interested in Supernatural), and I told her. I told her Destiel is real. I started researching online to see if other people really considered Destiel as a serious ship, or if it was just a for fun ship, as I had thought until then. And that’s how I came across Tumblr. I found Destiel Meta about season 7. And it made so much sense. Like, even season 7, which I hated and didn’t make sense to me, started to make sense! As a matter of fact, it only made sense when I looked at it through a Destiel lens. I found this huge community of people who saw Destiel and hoped for it to happen in canon. People who, like me, would only ship relationships that had potential for canon, and saw this in Destiel. I found, I am not imagining this; it’s really there. Dean and Castiel really have a shot at being together in canon. 

I also discovered the word “asexual” and what it means thanks to the reading of Castiel as asexual, during this time in late 2012, and I could finally define myself after wondering for years if I was actually a lesbian and I still hadn’t really defined it, though I liked boys but not in a sexual way. I found the term asexuality and I finally knew where I fit. I learned SO much through Destiel, and Tumblr, about sexuality and sexual orientations, about gender, about identity and representation, about the struggles and fight of the LGBTQ community... I can honestly say I am a better person today thanks to this ship. This is why representation matters so much.

Moving on, I fell out of love with Supernatural again during season 9. But by this time, I was too emotionally invested in these characters to quit the show. Seasons 10 was the same. I didn’t care much. Season 11... I was really uncomfortable with the Amara thing, given she was shown as a baby and Dean had this sexual connection to her... It was so darn weird. But then I realized something: Amara was an object that was there to develop Destiel even more?? And I got interested in SPN again, but I was treading carefully, because I felt like this show was kind of always baiting the fandom with Destiel, never to deliver in the end. I cared again, but never like I used to care back during season 8. 

Season 8 was my peak as a Supernatural and Destiel fangirl. During season 11 it was when I realized that I only cared about the characters now, but predominantly, I only cared about DeanCas at this point. The storylines were not engaging anymore, and some themes had become repetitive, because everything had been explored with these characters, except for the DeanCas romance (in a textual way). I wanted to see if their relationship was ever going to be acknowledged somehow in the show. 

Since season 11, up until November 5th, 2020, season 15 episode 18, I was watching Supernatural casually, just to see what would become of the characters and especially what would become of Destiel. I thought the MOST we were ever going to get was something ambiguous and easy to dismiss. Something like hand holding at MOST, but realistically, a glance that shippers could say meant more, but haters could easily dismiss. And then, 15x18 happened: Castiel confessed his love to Dean Winchester, in a final sacrifice of love. Cas said “I love you” after saying all these beautiful things about Dean and all the reasons why he fell in love with him. How Dean changed him for good. 

Suddenly, everything was possible. Suddenly, Destiel could really happen. It didn’t matter that Castiel was dead, because Castiel has been dead before too many times, and so has Dean (lol). Cas had to come back! And Dean would say those words back. 

All of those years, we were right! Destiel was truly a love story. 

I was okay for years, if Destiel never went canon, I didn’t mind anymore, because they were canon to me. I never even dreamed we’d get a canon love confession, and even less did I consider we’d be getting such a beautiful and epic love confession as the one we got. 

Now, as I wait for the finale episode in the series, I expect Destiel will be fully canon tonight. As I wait, I am a bundle of nerves and anticipation for the first time in years, in wait for a new episode. I am once again emotionally invested in these characters like I was years ago. Because now, Dean and Cas really do have a shot at being together at the end of this story. Now it’s no longer a fan fantasy and hope; now it’s real. Destiel is real. Destiel is canon. I have to say, after the way they have set up the story, I will be incredibly disappointed if it doesn’t resolve the way I hope, with a DeanCas happy ending. I cannot forgive a one-sided Destiel ending when they could have just let us have our headcanons at the end of the show. But at least we know Destiel was always real, and it was mentioned in the show, so it’s now indisputable that this was always a love story. That’s the up side. Castiel has confessed his feelings for Dean; he was canonically in love with Dean all this time and his rebellion against Heaven was all for Dean, and nobody can take that away from us now. In my heart I know, Dean is also in love with Cas, and that will be one of my takeaways from this show, especially now that Cas has come out and said the words. If I was right about Cas loving Dean, I am right about Dean loving Cas. 

As I wait for the series finale, I know in my heart, Supernatural will always be special for me. Not only because of Destiel, but because of all the years watching it with my mom and sisters and finding the fandom and participating in a fandom for the first time in my life. It was fun, and it was life-changing. 

I am incredibly grateful to Supernatural, this fandom, and especially Destiel. I am a better person because of this fandom, and I have zero regrets having been a part of this. (Even when I complain about Supernatural all the time! haha).

Super long ramble, and probably I could have worded this better, but I had to write something today, as it is the final day of Supernatural.

Let us hope for a happy ending. 

~ Des., November 19th, 2020

[thinkaboutdobrik]

Too Close To Home -> Grayson Dolan / Colby Brock

Plot: The reader used to date Colby Brock, but when things went wrong, Grayson was quick to step in, taking his place in her heart. What happens when the ex calls, wanting "to talk"?

Request: Hi could you do a Colby x Reader x Grayson? Like the reader and Colby used to date and it ended badly because he cheated or lied and now she's dating Grayson and Colby comes across a youtube video or instagram post that you and Grayson did and he misses you and regrets everything he did and he calls your phone but Grayson picks up...

A/n: if you by any chance have no idea who Colby Brock is but you're a fan of the twins, just pretend it's a different guy skdjdjkss bc the story is p good ok im actually v proud of this one

-

The sun was shining through the big windows of Ethan and Grayson's kitchen, lightly warming your skin as you and Grayson prepared breakfast for everybody.

Grayson had turned on the radio, leaving the two of you dancing around in the kitchen, jamming along to the music that was playing in the background.

Song after song, hit after hit, the two of you danced and sang your way through the breakfast making, and just as you were finishing up a familiar song started playing.

It was one of those songs that hit you hard. One of those songs that made you think, remember, reminisce on the past. Your past with Colby.

The song that was playing reminded you of him and everything you once had and were. It did something to you. Something small enough to leave you thinking by the kitchen counter.

It didn't end well for you and Colby. Most of it was his fault, but a small bit of it was also your fault.

You had never seen it coming when you were the closest as you had ever been with Colby. His roommates loved the two of you together and you were pretty much the center of attention whenever you were visiting their house.

But as time progressed, you and Colby grew apart from eachother after Colby introduced you to the twins. He started becoming more and more distant with you, and started to act weird whenever Grayson was in the same room as you. Perhaps he was jealous?

One thing led to another and after several fits being thrown and endless fights going on, you were standing right in front of him, watching everything that happened the moment Colby's lips met someone else's.

It hurt you. A lot. But Grayson cared for you and took you in with open arms, willing to do just about anything he could to make you happy.

Once you started spending more time with the twins, and less time at the Trap House, your relationship with Grayson grew stronger. You spent countless of nights sleeping at the twins' house, whether that was just for hanging out or for crying into Grayson's comforting arms.

One thing led to another, and once you finally managed to let go of Colby, Grayson was more than happy to take his place in your heart. After he confessed his feelings for you you were beyond happy, feeling like you were spending every day on cloud nine.

"Come on, let's eat. I'm literally starving." Grayson said and snapped you out of your trance, placing a quick kiss on your cheek before he grabbed the plates and walked over to the kitchen table.

You shook yourself out of the trance and joined him and Ethan by the table.

"Bro, this is delicious. You made this?" Ethan said and shoved a mouthful of scrambled eggs in his mouth.

Grayson nodded. "Me and y/n, actually. You should join us sometime, that way you'll actually learn how to cook and not have to eat the same boring cereal every morning."

You chuckled at Grayson's comment and grabbed a mouthful of the food as well.

As Grayson got up from the table, your phone buzzed on the kitchen counter. "Gray, can you get that for me?" you asked Grayson.

Grayson nodded and grabbed your phone. His eyes quickly met yours as you were stretching out your hand to grab it.

"Uhhh, it's Colby." Grayson said and furrowed his eyebrows.

You swallowed hard at his words and your hand quickly fell to your side. "Oh, it's fine. I-"

"I'll answer it." Grayson said and cut you off, looking at you, seeking permission.

You gave Grayson a quick nod before retorting back to your food. At this point, your heart was beating fast and your breaths were heavy. Trying not to think about it, you started making small talk with Ethan as Grayson went into the other room.

Not long after, Grayson returned to the kitchen and sat down by the table as he ran a hand through his hair.

"What did he want, bro?" Ethan asked before swallowing his food.

You looked at Grayson, curious as to what he was going to say.

Grayson shifted in his seat and looked at you. "Not much. He wanted to talk to you, y/n, to 'explain things' but I told him you had better things to do." he said and tried his best to keep from smiling.

You chuckled a little, looking at Grayson's stupid grin, before shrugging. "Whatever, I guess."

Grayson rested his hand on your thigh, giving it a light squeeze, before finishing his food.

You smiled at him in return, placing your hand on top of his as you rubbed small circles with your thumb.

You were happy. You were happy with Grayson, and that was all that mattered.

The three of you finished your food and Ethan headed back to his bedroom. You and Grayson were left with the clean up, as per usual, and finished off in the kitchen.

On the way back to Grayson’s room, you stopped him in the middle of the hallway, lightly grabbing a hold of his wrist making him turn around to look at you. 

"Was that all he said? What else did he say?" you asked worringly as you looked up at Grayson.

Grayson shrugged. "Not much. That was pretty much it, why?"

"I was just wondering..."

"Why? I thought you said you were over him? You’ve moved on, remember? Or do you still talk to him?" Grayson quickly replied and his face turned serious. 

Your mouth formed a small o as you looked up at Grayson. "No, I don’t but I’ve been thinking about him sometimes." you replied, fiddling your thumbs as your eyes darted to the ground.

And it was true. You had been thinking about Colby and everything that had happened between you. A small part of you missed him, but a bigger part of you knew you were better with Grayson. You were perfect with Grayson, and you had always been. Grayson cared about you, in so many other ways then Colby claimed to do. 

"What’s there to think about?" Grayson scoffed as frustration came over him, lightly throwing his hands in the air as he spoke.

"Nothing, I-." you started but was quickly cut off by Grayson running his hands down his face as he let out a big sigh.

"Whatever it is let me know when you’ve figured it out and then we can talk." Grayson said before turning around in the hallway, heading for the bedroom and shutting the door behind him.

Standing in the hallway by yourself, you watched as Grayson walked away from you. It hurt a little and you were already starting to feel it in your chest. Your heart started to race and your feet started to tremble. You didn’t want to hurt Grayson, not after everything he had done to you. Some words had just come out wrong, and it was clear why Grayson reacted that way, getting upset, because he cared about you. He’d hate to see you make the same mistakes you had already made a million times before. You’d always end up heartbroken. Heartbroken and hurt for the millionth time. 

You swallowed hard before turning the door nob to Grayson’s room, slowly opening the door and poking your head in. 

Grayson was sitting by his desk, eyes glued to the computer screen. 

You walked up behind him and gently rested your hands on his shoulders. His shoulders were tense, and you started lightly massaging them feeling Grayson already relax just by your touch. 

"I’m sorry, Gray. I didn’t mean to hurt you." you said quitely as you gently massaged his shoulders. 

Grayson turned the chair around and looked at you as he gently rested his hands on your hips. 

"I know. I just get very protective of you because I don’t wanna see you hurt again." Grayson replied.

You nodded understandingly, looking into his hazel eyes as your hands landed around his neck. "I’m sorry." you replied quietly and looked at Grayson with sad eyes.

Grayson gave you a warm smile and his grip around your waist got firmer. He pulled you onto his lap and held you tight.

"I love you." you said.

Leaning in, Grayson placed a passionate kiss on your lips, his lips soft against yours and just like the first time you kissed, and just about every other time, a small spark was sent throughout your body. " love you, too."

[kimnamjooonz]

Blank Space - Episode 11

Everything Has Changed

Songs used in this Episode:

Everything Has Changed - Taylor Swift ft Ed Sheeran

Feelings are shared, words are said and confessions are made.

''Come back and tell me why I'm feeling like I've missed you all this time, and meet me there tonight and tell me that this is not all in my mind''

''We don't want to get out through the main door'' Morgan stated. ''It's full of paparazzi. What do think they'll think if they see us leave together? You don't want to start rumours... or do you?'' That was the least thing that Morgan wanted. There were already people in the world that thought that Sebastian and Morgan would make hell of a couple, and even though they weren't wrong, she didn't want to be seen as if they were following that advice. And there was the tiny detail that he had a girlfriend. ''I thought you were the queen of not giving a fuck. You're my date and everyone knows that, they're expecting us to leave together. And we're just getting pizza, not spending the night in a cheap motel.'' He was right. If they left together there wouldn't be much of a fuss as if they left separately or with different people. ''You have no shame'' ''Great. Now let's leave'' As they expected, the paparazzi started taking pictured and shouting questions at them by the second they took a glimpse of them. ''Morgan! Are you walking in the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show?'' No, she wasn't. ''Are you two dating?'' No, they weren't. He had a girlfriend, for God's sake. ''Sebastian, do you want to see Morgan stepping on the runway?'' Yes, he wanted. Better if it was in lingerie. ''Morgan, is it true that you're planning to join the Marvel Cinematic Universe?'' She wanted to laugh. Of course that she wanted to join the MCU but it wasn't as if she could show up in Atlanta and Marvel was going to give her a role out of the blue. ''Morgan, is it true that you and Chris Evans have been seeing each other?'' And that was enough for Sebastian who did the most stupid thing he could have done and not even Morgan was ready for it. He just simply reached out for her hand and interlaced his fingers with hers. And that gesture in itself said enough. Morgan wanted to murder him. Yes, there was nothing wrong with leaving together but leaving together holding hands in front of a horde of paparazzi was a complete different story. ''You make a really hot couple!'' some paparazzi shouted. ''Thank you!'' he shouted back with a big smile on his face. Well, Morgan was sure that they were going to be brutally murdered by Taylor and Emily when they found out about what had just happened. And thank to the wonders of the Internet they'll find out very soon. And stan twitter was probably going to blow up in pieces after this. With all the calm in the world he guided her towards a taxi and opened the door for her to enter. Every single one of their movements were being caught in camera. ''You idiot!'' she hissed after Sebastian closed the door. ''What have you done?'' ''Calm down, nothing's wrong. Do you think these people will think that I'm cheating on my girlfriend in such a public and shameless way?'' ''Of course they will, you idiot! They were already suspecting it after out little show at MSG! How do you think this will be seen? You held my hand and basically shouted that we look hot together!'' ''Where's the lie, Llewellyn. I though you didn't care about people's opinion'' he raised his eyebrows. ''And I don't. Look, I don't care about your girlfriend, I don't care about the general public, I don't care about the media. But I don't really want to face Taylor. And she will want to kill me''. That seemed to ground Sebastian. ''And Emily...'' now he looked concerned. ''...damn, what have I done.'' ''What's done is done'' Morgan had no other option than resign herself. ''Now let's get that pizza.'' ''Are you really seeing Chris Evans?'' he asked out of nowhere. The best answer to that question was 'It's none of you goddamned business' but she decided to tell him the truth. ''We talked for half an hour about pets and I didn't even get his number. That question answers itself. It's a no, by the way. Happy?'' ''Actually, yes'' he had a triumphant smile on his face. The taxi left them in front of a Pizza Hut. Sebastian guided Morgan inside, as if they were getting into the most elegant restaurant of the city. ''We can't stay here'' he started when they had already got the pizza boxes and a couple of beers. ''People are already looking at us and we're not very discreetly dressed.'' Morgan knew that it was true. They were dressed for an elegant party not for getting pizza. ''Let's get out of here.'' this time she grabbed his arm and got him out of the place. They were looking for a place to eat for a little while until they settled for a spot under a tree in a park. Elegant. ''I'm sitting on the grass in a thousand dollar dress. Luke will kill me tomorrow, add him to the list of people that'll want to murder me after this.'' she grabbed a slice of pizza. ''And this is an Hugo Boss suit. My stylist is getting my neck tomorrow.'' he delicately bit his pizza. ''As everyone wants to kill us, I suggest that we elope together before someone notices. Look, we can go north, to Alaska, get a nice cabin in the woods and live there.'' ''Yeah, that's what I was planning: changing my promising acting career for Alaska and a cabin in the woods.'' ''You get me as part of the deal'' he winked at her. ''That's irresistible'' she joked. ''It's not that bad... we'll become friends in time. We'll be in a small cabin in the woods so maybe even romance will flourish between us'' he cheekily winked at her. What he had said sounded like the plot of a cheesy Christmas movie. ''You sure? Because I think that it's more probable that we'll end up in a bigger war. We don't get on very well so imagine if we're left alone for weeks.'' ''Don't be such a pessimist, Llewellyn. Alaska would change us'' ''Forgive me if I can't see how Alaska may change us. Both of us under the same roof is not even a potential disaster, is a guaranteed catastrophe.'' Sebastian was having fun with Morgan's answers. But he couldn't help by wonder how would it feel to share a home with her. It would either be a nightmare or a dream, there was no middle ground. ''Don't be too harsh... look at us, we're having plenty of fun.'' ''Because we're desperate. We were starving in a place where the only thing left to eat was shrimp.'' She had a point. But Sebastian also knew that if he had gone at that party by himself, he'd have stayed there and forcefully eaten the shrimp. He had to thank Morgan for making him a braver person. ''Fair point. But I also think you're more fun than everybody else.'' Morgan almost laughed at him. ''You're a masochist if you think I'm fun. The only thing I do, ninety percent of the time is mortify you. Sometimes I'm kind of sorry but then you ask the most inappropriate questions and say stuff that makes want to smack you in the head.'' ''Inappropriate? Me?'' his eyes got impossibly big. '''Are you seeing Chris Evans?''' she mocked his voice. ''I let that one pass but why do you even care?'' before he started rambling some rushed explanation Morgan stopped him. ''Don't answer that. It just surprises me how cool you think I am. Probably Evans doesn't even remember me and you thought we were dating.'' ''No one that's seen you, can forget you. And I think you're... interesting, even if half of the time I want to send you back to Wales.'' She wasn't surprised about that at all. There were days that Morgan herself would have preferred to work with anybody else in the industry rather than Sebastian Stan. ''Nice to know'' she took a sip of her beer. ''Coming back to Alaska... I think that if Damien wants to unleash all the chemistry we have inside, he should send us there for a while.'' ''Don't give him ideas. He's capable of doing it. He was the one us that convinced Taylor to send me here with you.'' ''He ships us.'' Morgan sent him a weird look. ''Since when do you speak fangirl?'' immediately Morgan regretted having said this. It was better not to mention the word 'fangirl' in front of Sebastian. She had been his fan and that was something he could never knew if she didn't want him to tease her until the next century. ''Nevermind. Forget it. is not that he likes us together, he needs us together, at least in a friendly way, to hype the movie so the general public can see how good we look together. I thought you knew how things worked in Hollywood.'' ''Yeah, but I never had to date anyone for publicity.'' ''You're not dating me for publicity'' she immediately said. ''I was never going to agree to that. But Damien is literally setting us up.'' Sebastian felt a weird feeling of gratitude towards Damien. Yes, he knew it wasn't right but he couldn't control his emotions. ''He's not the only one'' he decided to lead the conversation ahead from his own feelings without changing the topic. ''All the Internet apparently share his view. I am constantly tagged in countless of Instagram collages about us. I swear that they can't wait to see us married with three kids and a dog.'' Yeah, Sebastian fans also made manips of him married to Chris Evans, living happily ever after and taking pictures every Christmas with Dodger in them. Morgan herself had retweeted a couple, in the past, of course. So, nothing surprised her anymore. ''If they only knew....''' she laughed ''...that this is absolutely impossible'' That hurt Sebastian a little. He knew that Morgan had never expressed much interest in him in that way but hearing her rejecting the possibility in such a  direct way, wasn't nice at all. Maybe it was because he had a girlfriend and that had ruled him out completely from Morgan's list of possible love interests. If she even had one. ''Wow, you have the same sensitivity of a rusted axe.'' he tried to sound sarcastic but there was a hint of hurt in his voice that Morgan noticed. And it wasn't acted. She couldn't believe how big his ego was if he had got offended by getting ruled out of some imaginary possibility. And it wasn't even true because the main supporter of the Morgan-Sebastian ship was Morgan herself. But never in a million years she was going to say it out loud. ''What a snowflake. Really, you're about to make me laugh. I don't say it's impossible because I'm rejecting you of your fans' imaginary plans. I'm saying it because it's biologically impossible that their fantasy ever become a reality.'' It took a while for Sebastian to process and then understand her words. But when he finally did, he felt that he was the one with the sensitivity of a rusted axe. He had judged Morgan without knowing the whole story. Morgan noticed the regret on his face and how much he wanted to say something but he was struggling to find words. And Morgan didn't help him. He desperately wanted to ask something to make sure that his suspicions were correct and he hadn't misunderstood Morgan's words. ''Just ask whatever you have in your mind'' But he couldn't just ask such a personal question, let alone in a couple of minutes later that he had called her a 'rusted axe'. ''You... you...'' he wasn't able to say anything. ''No, Sebastian, I will never be able to have children of my own. And change that sad expression from your face, please, because it's really stupid. Look, it doesn't affect me so I can't see no reason why it should affect you.'' But Sebastian's sad face was actually regret. He felt awful for bringing a sensitive topic without knowing nothing. ''I'm so, so, so, so sorry.'' he was looking directly at Morgan's eyes. ''I didn't know... I feel like such a stupid idiot for bringing this topic and... I called you insensitive... you have no idea how sorry I am''. And Morgan noticed that it was sincere. ''Don't worry. It's not really a sensitive topic. I've known about this little issue since I was fifteen and I've come to terms with it a long time ago. It's not even a secret. Look, women are not reproductive machines. We're human beings capable of doing great things. If you think that not being able to pop out a child out of my body lessens my worth as a woman, let me kick you in the head back to the eighteenth century, where you belong.'' He lifted his hands in surrender. ''I don't think that way, Morgan, I swear. Women are the most powerful beings in the universe, independently if they have kids or not, who cares about that. I mean, the world is already overpopulated and dying, we don't need more kids. And women are more stronger an brave than men, only idiots with fragile masculinity can't admit it. You have to deal with periods, that according with what I've read around, they feel like you're being stabbed. Men could never.'' Well, at least he was a man that didn't blush or got uncomfortable by the word 'period'. Points for him. ''You're right in something, I can't believe it.'' she mocked him. ''If having a period is bad enough, I can't imagine giving birth. Literally, you're pushing a watermelon from your lady parts.'' This time Sebastian blushed and looked embarrassed as hell, even with the light of the park's lamp post she could notice. Morgan just raised her eyebrows and looked at him with mild curiosity. He was giving her good material to tease him. ''Wow, wow, wow. What left the mighty Sebastian Stan so hot and bothered. Was it the lady parts or the watermelon? If it's the watermelon I might be... sightly concerned.'' Sebastian blushed even more. ''I can't believe you're so direct. You just described a birth using a watermelon as an example. I'm never forgetting this.'' ''What is so weird about it? Do you know how kids are brought into this world or do you still believe that the seagulls bring them?'' ''Seagulls?'' Sebastian was wondering in which Welsh legend seagulls brought babies. ''Maybe you mean storks, Morgan.'' ''Yeah, it's the same thing, they both have wings, who cares.'' Morgan wasn't an expert at differencing birds. Everything that had wings, feathers and a beak were either chickens, ducks, seagulls or pigeons. ''That's wasn't the point.'' ''I'm not that stupid to believe in legends, I never did by the way. And before you ask, I don't believe in Santa.'' suddenly he laughed. ''Seagulls... look, when we'll have to do the press junkets to our movie and someone asks me for a funny cast anecdote I'm going to tell them that you confused seagulls with storks.'' She actually didn't mind. ''I'm not an intellectual prodigy, Sebastian''. He looked surprised. Yeah, Morgan may be annoying and obnoxious but he always thought that she was smart. Maybe she liked learning certain things and focused on them rather than trying to learn about everything. ''I think you are pretty smart. Yeah, maybe you're not Stephen Hawking but... who is. You have another type of knowledge, the one that you can't learn in books.'' Morgan wondered why he got out of his way to compliment her. It was not as she deserved his kindness. But he was a kind person to literally everyone. But this was the Sebastian Stan she had imagined for the past five years. The one that had destroyed her standards in men. The Sebastian she had fallen in love with. ''You give good compliments, Sebastian.'' ''Maybe I do'' he lifted her chin with his fingers so he could look at her better. ''See? You can be nice if you want to. You've been pretty nice tonight, Morgan.'' It was hard for them to resist the temptation and not kiss. They had to gather all the will they had in themselves to keep calm. ''I think we should go'' she proposed. After all, they had finished with their food. ''I think so.'' They gathered the empty pizza boxes and beer bottles and threw them in the trash can. The way back to the hotel was quiet and calm. They weren't speaking but the silence between tem wasn't uncomfortable at all. They fell at ease with each other. Only when they got into the elevator they could notice how messy they were. They had grass and pizza crumbs on their expensive clothes. Morgan had even stained her dress with beer. Luke was going to kill her. ''You have a leaf in your hair, Morgan'' he brush it away with extreme softness. Morgan got off in the seventh floor and Sebastian stood alone on the elevator, more confused than ever. She was driving him crazy and he wasn't doing anything to prevent it. On the contrary, he was all the time finding more and more reasons to be more attracted to Morgan if it was possible. Once he got into his room, and after changing his clothes for something more comfortable than an elegant and expensive suit, he threw himself to the bed and tried hard to fall asleep. But he couldn't. He was just waiting for someone (Morgan of course) to knock on his door. They didn't need to say a word, he'd just get her into his room and slowly take off that amazing red dress of hers, even if it was stained with grass. He'd take his time with her, without rushing anything, making sure of kissing every single inch of her skin, paying special attention to her long and kissable neck. He'd let her do the same to him, touch his skin with that long and soft fingers. He was hers to keep and she could do whatever her wanted. Kiss him, lick him, bite him, taste him, scratch him, whatever she wanted. Afterward, he'd made love to her in the most exquisite and intimate way he could imagine, enjoying every single second of it. But that was too good to be true, and of course that it was not going to happen. Morgan was probably fast asleep in her room, not giving a damn about his turbulent feelings.

P.S. Seagulls? Really Morgan?

[fictionstuff]

Koi to Uso 恋と嘘

Plot: In a futuristic society, Japan has implemented a complex system referred to as "The Red Threads of Science" to encourage successful marriages and combat increasingly low birthrates. Based on a compatibility calculation, young people at the age of 16 are assigned marriage partners by the government, with severe repercussions awaiting those who disobey the arrangement. For Yukari Nejima, a teen that considers himself average in every way, this system might be his best shot at living a fulfilling life. However, spurred by his infatuation for his classmate and long-time crush, Misaki Takasaki, Yukari defies the system and confesses his love. After some initial reluctance, Misaki reciprocates his feelings in a moment of passion. Unfortunately, before the two can further their relationship, Yukari receives his marriage notice. He is then thrown into a confusing web of love and lies when his less-than-thrilled assigned partner, Ririna Sanada, becomes fascinated with his illicit romance. [Written by MAL Rewrite]

Episodes: 12

Main Characters: Nejima Yukari Takasaki Misaki Sanada Ririna Nisaka Yuusuke

Points: 7.3/10

Well, Love and Lies is all about romance and love relationships, so you shouldn't exactly come here, if you want anything else. The plot relies on the characters and their relationships, the setting is nothing more than a tool. The anime gives little to no information about why Japan implemented a rather weird wedding system that relies only on statistics (matching up people based on points that have never been revealed either) other than the fact, that Japan seems to be suffering from a low birthrate. Then again, Germany's birthrate isn't exactly high and nobody even thinks of implementing such a system, since wedding doesn't guarantee many children? So I don't really get this plot point, but that isn't the focus of the anime.

It's up to you to decide, if you think this system is alright or not, because the anime will never give you an opinion, since Japanese people seem to have accepted it and only 3 persons seem to be rebelling against it, or merely fail to understand. On the other hand I fail to understand how our main male character Nejima is even remotely popular (boys and girls alike, eh). He's a fairly normal type of guy, shy and quiet and blushes whenever someone even uses the word “love”. Then again, the anime gives us 12 episodes, which hardly gives time for a cast of 4 main characters to develop. While there is something akin to development, the anime kind of throws everything away at the end. The ending is as incomplete as the whole setting.

Nonetheless it was fun to watch these 4 characters walk their paths. I may not have been a fan of Nejima, but the other 3 aren't half bad. Takasaki and Sanada are both in love with Nejima, but end up being friends instead of fighting for him. The decision itself is intriguing, although hard to comprehend. Takasaki has always been in love with Nejima, ever since they were kids (cliché, I know) but she's a rather strong person, who wants Nejima to be happy and realises that they're just not supposed to be, so she lets him go. Takasaki regrets everything, but what can she do? Sanada on the other hand is a completely clueless young girl, who sometimes acts like a tsundere and even asks Takasaki and Nejima to kiss one another just to witness it and due to their friendship, she even gives Takasaki chances. I have no idea where this was supposed to go, but it was interesting enough for me to stay until the very end and also pick up the manga, which is still on-going in Japan.

The anime is not at all predictable, because all 4 make choices that cannot be foreseen, they're very unrealistic at times, but humans can't always be comprehended. I liked seeing the friendships develop, but it's regretful that the end offers no solution and you still end up wondering how it'll go on. The anime also did Nisaka badly, giving him time to shine and then neglecting his love line with Nejima completely, while we also get no real information about his hate relationship with Takasaki.

Seems like I really do need to pick up the manga :c

[arofili]

legolas or celebrimbor??

celebrimbor doesn’t have a tumblr, he made that shit. he and narvi are @staff.

(well. they were @staff…)

leg …. pre fellowship

their blog url

green-leaves-in-a-green-forest

(or something equally long and horrendously hyphenated and fake poetic)

the kind of posts they reblog

random shit he finds amusing

like, cat pictures and social justice posts from 2013

no theme at all

i would never follow him

the first person they followed

tauriel

she convinced him to get a tumblr because of the memes

a year later, she regrets this immensely

she matured and has a better blog that she doesn’t even use much

legolas is the exact same.

what kind of theme they’d have

tumblr default theme

what kind of text posts they make at 2am

he will wake up in the middle of the night and post about the dreams he just had, but without any context

“made some chocolate milk with the lady who pulls the sun. tasted like weed. also, that one girl who i thought i had a crush on in 3rd grade was there. awkward.”

“sweating so much!! just ran a marathon with my dad while we were being chased by oliophaunts. the racetrack turned into a river halfway through. we won!!”

he thinks he’s funny

(he’s not.)

leg …… during fellowship

their blog url

he privated his blog for the first part of the journey because he thought it would be safer

after a few weeks he gets bored and starts liveblogging this shit

at that point his url becomes “fellowshipoftheleg”

his blog title is “Eight Idiots And A Gorgeous Elf Save The World”

“Hello! My name is Legolas Greenleaf. I am currently on a quest to save the world. The details are ~secret~ but I needed a place to vent so here we go. My companions are all idiots, except for me. My interests include….”

you know the type of subtitle i’m talking about.

the kind of posts they reblog

he basically stops reblogging and only makes original posts during this period of time

the liveblog

legolas had >300 followers before this, but his posts about his journey start to gain traction

his liveblog is pretty much petty complaints at first

he talks shit about gimli

he cracks “jokes” about boromir

(again. he’s not funny)

he reports on the weird stuff gandalf does

he gushes over the adorable hobbits

(until one day he accidentally bumps into frodo and sam tries to jump him.

he’s a little afraid of them after that.)

he quotes aragorn like there’s no tomorrow

some of these are like, actually deep

most of them sound like stuff from inspirobot

or they’re stupid inside jokes

everyone gets code names, cuz legolas isn’t that stupid

gandalf is “old man”

aragorn is “the bro”

boromir is “angstlord”

the hobbits go through tons of nicknames

“itty bitties”

“curly boys”

tiny monsters

eventually they get their own, but by that point the fellowship has split

gimli is “asshole dwarf”

after a few weeks… he becomes weirdly popular.

his story reads like a trollfic, with stupid plot twists and bizarre anecdotes

this mostly is anecdotes, not the full scope of the quest

he mostly makes text posts, with a few pictures here and there

every now and then he’ll post a snapshot of the fellowship roasting marshmallows

or a selfie of him in lothlorien

or a sneaky pic of him drawing dicks on boromir’s face while he’s asleep

he used to be low-profile, but shit’s gone whack.

he’s gaining hundreds of followers a day

his top post has half a million notes.

he’s a tumblr “cewebrity”

everyone on tumblr thinks this is just a story, not real life

people dig through his old posts looking for clues and foreshadowing

they’re baffled by the dedication the mod of the blog has to building up this “legolas” character

or they’re puzzled by the mod’s decision to turn this shit blog into a dedicated storytelling platform

legolas is bombarded with asks and @ mentions

but like…this bitch don’t actually know how to use this website.

he can make a post and reblog one

but that’s literally it

he’s the kind of blogger who leaves stupid captions on popular posts

he can’t figure out how tags work

he’s never heard of xkit

all his asks go unanswered

he’s only sort of aware of what’s going on

he’s blogging 100% from mobile, which makes it even worse

the Legolas Fandom goes buckwild

there is not enough time in the day to over it all

ship wars.

fan theories.

headcanon drama.

it’s a mess.

and again, legolas has no clue that this is going on.

when he catches feelings for gimli…things get insane.

he writes gushy, cringy, angsty posts about gimli

he posts pics of gimli with flower crowns

he composes bad poetry about gimli

the fan base is infuriated.

they’d all been shipping him with aragorn.

and like, no one in the fellowship has a fucking clue this is happening.

at least, not until they get to 

it’s ironic that Isolated Horseblr User eowyn is the first one to recognize legolas

she finally gets up the courage to ask him about it

“has someone been stealing your selfies, or…?”

he is astonished.

if Leg could, he’d shut down the whole thing

even if eowyn had wanted to help him do that, he’s just in too deep

he’s in this for the long haul.

now, Legolas starts to make shit up.

that’s when his popularity tanks.

he’s getting callouts

he’s everyone’s “problematic fav”

people dig through his blog to find dirt instead of clues

Legolas is more aware of this now, and he pouts for days

then gimli, a Twitter-Only lad, finally sees a masterpost explaining everything

he connects the dots way quicker than anyone else did

and oh fuck.

he’s frantically tweeting–

“wtf do i do??”

“i think i’m the asshole dwarf??”

“but he’s like in love with the asshole dwarf now??”

“oh my god, my crush likes me back??”

“has he been liveblogging EVERYTHING??”

eventually he deletes it all and decides to confront legolas

the leg boy caves under pressure and spills the beans.

they figure their personal shit out

of course, aragorn knew everything all along.

at least, that’s what he says

gimli takes over the liveblog for a day and everyone goes nuts.

together, he and leg decide that they’ve got to end this fake-ish story

even though they don’t know the ending of the real one.

for someone who’s never used it before, gimli picks up tumblr etiquette quickly

and on mobile. that’s a whole nother level of perseverance.

he starts streamlining shit, collecting information, making use of fan masterposts

he ties all the loose ends together

with a little bit of help from legolas to make it suitably weird, they close the story strong with a bang and a kiss.

aragorn finds their version of events…amusing.

after the real dust settles and the news stories about the Real Quest hit the press…

now legolas is a Real Actual Celebrity

his fans new and old start to see…similarities between the two stories

plagiarism?

insider info?

conspiracy?

coincidence?

no one can decide.

leg ………… post fellowship

their blog url

Legolas has three blogs now.

“fellowshipoftheleg” is kept as an archive. he doesn’t post there anymore.

he has a secret personal blog, “greenwood-gossip”, that he just posts random shit on like before.

and finally he has a Real Life Famous Person Tumblr Blog, “legolasgreenleaf”

the kind of posts they reblog

with the help of gimli and tauriel, he figures out how to actually use this website.

like most celeb blogs this one doesn’t post much

but he does reblog edits of himself and of his friends

every time he’s asked about fellowshipoftheleg he answers that he is not responsible for it and has no idea about it and would you all please stop asking about it.

the first person they followed

aragorn’s new Famous Person account.

this blog is deactivated after two months because he never uses it.

what kind of theme they’d have

something that should be really classy but with awkward shades of green

like, it had potential but again…legolas has a terrible eye for design

what kind of text posts they make at 2am

he doesn’t usually make original posts

but sometimes he’ll complain about gimli’s weird habits

and once - just once - he confessed that he was the one who ran that liveblog all those years ago

he deleted the post an hour later, but there were screenshots.

legolas is the Ultimate Troll.

[gwenjoon]

Flash Thompson is Gay: A Comprehensive Visual Essay

TRIGGER WARNINGS: alcoholism, abuse, homophobia, brief reference to The Child Within, which contains pedophilia 

Over the last year and half or so, I have read a number of Spider-Man comics and have reached many conclusions about them, but my utmost conclusion is that Flash Thompson is a gay man. It is very difficult for me to label male characters as gay, since we’ve all seen the way fandom can completely brush off women in favor of imagined gay men, but once this idea took hold, it stuck. I do not see Flash as truly having been intended to be gay since his conception, or even highly coded that way like Kitty Pryde or Johnny Storm. But along the lines of Bobby Drake, I just feel that it would be the final puzzle piece that would make his 50+ years of character development make sense.

This is not intended as propaganda or a way of seeing representation where it doesn’t exist, but a simple compilation of evidence.

We begin in high school.

Flash will probably always be known as something of a high school bully, even though he was only in high school for 28 issues in the 60s. It’s still hotly debated by fans and Spider-Man writers about how MUCH of a bully he was. In Lee and Ditko’s original comics, it certainly seemed like he and Peter were more mutually antagonistic towards each other, with the caveat that Flash was popular and Peter wasn’t.

No matter what, Flash had a fanboy obsession with Spider-Man, and maybe a bit of an obsession with Peter Parker, too, something both Peter and their classmates noticed and teased him for.  

There were times when Flash actually made some sort of attempts to be Peter’s friend, but Peter being Peter, and Flash being Flash, the attempts didn’t go well.

Flash was dating Liz Allan at this point. She teased Peter too, but eventually got sick of Flash berating Peter and dumped him. She then pursued a bit of a crush on Peter (which didn’t really go anywhere since Peter was pretty into Betty at this point). Flash didn’t like being dumped, but he seemed to focus more on the Peter part of this situation and ended up, like, stalking him. In a cute way.

SO Peter and Flash both get scholarships to ESU and kind of . . . accidentally become friends. How does it happen? I don’t know. They don’t even know. But it happens. Basically, Flash is friends with Gwen and Harry and they all hate Peter and Gwen starts NOT hating Peter and then Harry starts not hating Peter so Flash might as well not hate him either. 

Also, Peter is kind of hot now which helps everyone adjust.

Go get friendly with him, Flash. 

It’s just hard to buy Flash as being into girls when he likes men SO much. Like in Spider-Man: Blue when Gwen and MJ are dancing and probably making out and Harry, like most people who are attracted to women, thinks that’s neato, but Flash waits for his husband to return from war.

Flash goes off to the army pretty quick. Harry and Peter watch Flash make out with their girlfriends because he is nonthreatening and handsome.

When Flash comes back from the army, he is even more handsome, but he tells Gwen that he’s super into her and Gwen is like “if you loved me you’d be nice to my sexy boyfriend Peter” and Flash is like “okay” so Flash starts being nice to Peter. Real nice. It gets weird. Did a threesome happen? I don’t know. But Peter is definitely getting hot and Flash is definitely noticing.

Gwen dies. Everyone is sad, me most of all. But Flash feels the need to clarify some stuff to Peter. 

They graduate, Flash and Peter move in together, two bros chillin in a hot tub, five feet apart ‘cause they’re not gay.

Peter moves out and Flash thinks Glory Grant is hot but the relationship never goes anywhere because Flash is gay and Marvel comics is racist, but then Flash moves in with Harry. Flash was LONELY, you see. 

And then Flash is getting up the courage to confess his undying love to Harry when none other than Liz Allan swoops in and snatches him right from under his nose. 

But it’s gonna be okay because then Flash and Peter accidentally start dating! 

It might not be an accident for Flash.

In his defense, Peter really can’t just say things like that.

Also this happens. I do not generally find CPR romantic but, like, what were they going for here? The shirtlessness. The rain. The close up on the mouth to mouth. This sure was some way to frame life-saving efforts between two manly men.

So while this is all going on, Flash’s love life is getting . . . messy. I generally try not to think about it too much because it’s SO messy. Flash saves multiple young women from cults. He dates Sha Shan, cheats on her with Betty (who is in turn cheating on her vaguely abusive husband), and eventually hits Sha Shan. He is immediately horrified and runs away, Sha Shan moves out within one issue and it’s just . . . gone for decades. It went against years of character development and no one seemed to remember it happening. It might have been a way to get rid of Sha Shan (again, the racism), or a way to make you THINK Flash is Hobgoblin but surprise, it was the other abusive guy all along.

It’s really really poorly written, and a cheap plot point. Sha Shan deserved better. 

Then you have the thing with Betty. It’s like, they’re cheating! they’re forbidden! they’re in love! but it . . . doesn’t go anywhere either. Betty and Flash remain friends and seem pretty happy about it, until JM DeMatteis, the brilliant mind behind Kraven’s Last Hunt, tells us all in the 90s that actually they had a horrible breakup and Betty hates him. Wild. 

SO once that business no one wants to touch and everyone regrets has been pushed aside for some time, Flash starts dating again. He has a new girlfriend every week that he only seems to want to spend time with around, you guessed it, Peter Parker.

Here is an example. Flash is boxing and Blaze tries to literally have sex with him and he’s like “nah, hygiene” and then she comes onto Peter.

Indeed, Mary Jane. 

Then we have FLASH/FELICIA. It’s so good. I love them. Felicia starts dating Flash as revenge against Peter. Flash really wants to double date with Peter. Felicia is at first super annoyed that Flash is so GENTLE, but she falls in love with him. She even asks him to marry her.

Flash says no.

Things Flash tells Felicia Hardy when he breaks up with her: “I wasn’t attracted by your looks” and “I thought it would be cool to be this close to someone who was that close to Spider-Man.” 

These are things he tells her. They were really things he said.

While Flash is recuperating from his injuries, he starts freaking out that he and Peter aren’t actually friends (you were his best man, but you’ve never gone to a baseball game with him, so that makes sense I guess), and he starts talking about poetry. Poetry is a common way to queer code male characters. Take a look at Dead Poet’s Society or A Streetcar Named Desire.

But here’s the poem he mentions.

Make of that what you will. 

Flash gets pretty depressed. Starts drinking more. He can’t make a romantic relationship stick. He’s dreaming about the glory days. This is around when the retcon of his abuse starts to pop up too. 

And somewhere along the line, Peter Parker got hot.  

But things do get better for him! He reconnects with his sister and goes to rehab. He and Betty reconnect because APPARENTLY they’ve been fighting and Flash is a scoundrel and there is no evidence but I guess I’ll take their word for it. 

He also gets a job with Norman Osborn. Things get weird. 

In The Child Within, Norman Osborn’s abuse of Harry is paralleled with an explicitly sexual physical abuse from a father towards a son. In Sins Past, The Night Gwen Stacy died will be retconned to make it so that the woman Norman Osborn murdered will have had his children. I don’t like going there, but there becomes a distinctly sexual way that Norman’s relationships with Peter’s friends is viewed.

Flash is reminding Norman about his AIDS charity.

Flash would stick with Norman night and day if he could. 

Anyway. 

Here’s a fantasy of Flash’s! He loves Spider-Man!

Even when he’s fantasizing about a woman, he’s actually fantasizing about a man!

Okay, I will admit I have not read every Flash appearance in 616. I’m doing this whole “in order” thing right now and I haven’t gotten to a lot of Flash/Betty stuff. Maybe it will change my mind. I doubt it, but I like to keep my options open.

Moving onto Venom. Flash has been dating Betty long-term at this point, but his secret life as a superhero is tearing them apart (she thinks he’s been drinking again). Also, he just sort of . . . self-sabotages all his relationships. Guy’s got issues.

Then we have Flash involved in an incidence of gay-bashing. 

He didn’t fully understand what being gay meant. Been there, buddy.

Peter gives him the guy’s number and Flash has a chance to apologize and see two happy gay men living together.  

I don’t know, okay, but a guy calls Captain America Flash’s boyfriend. It happens. It’s there.

VENOM: SPACE KNIGHT. Please read this beautiful series about overcoming the cycle of abuse and learning to love again. Things get really gay with the alien goo.

Also, Venom has like always been pretty heavily coded as being . . . some sort of sexual metaphor. David Micheline went there real hard. Eddie Brock pretty much married the symbiote, but only Flash has the guts to make him a guy. 

Anything he desires. Anything at all. Whatever that might be.

Now for some Flash Thompson Looks:

Okay, let’s move onto alternate universes. 

Here, we have Flash in the Secret Wars version of Spider-Island.

He loved Lizard Betty the best he could. 

Avengers Academy! 

Then there’s Ultimate Universe: 

Love me some pen-sucking.

Not convinced? Well put this in your pipe and smoke it:

And, of course, The Amazing Spider-Man. 

“Chicks dig him,” he said.

I dig him, he thought.

Was this even about Flash being gay or about me loving him deeply and endlessly? Who knows. Who cares. It’s all true.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. 

[moogiwarah]

Yaoi/Shounen-ai ヾ(≧∇≦*)ゝ

I won’t be updating this post anymore hehe instead, newly read BL will be posted here (under the tag ‘rec’). Happy reading!

SHOUNEN-AI MANHWA

💖•Star x Fanboy (ongoing) -cUTE ASF ?! AS IIIIN ?! BOTH THE STORY AND ARTWORK 😭💜 HUHU IBABATO KO CP KO GANON AKO KAKILIG SAKANYA. MUST READ ISTG ANG CUUUTE 😩. 

💖•Fools (completed) -  A reeeeeaally good read!  💘 like,, saglitan ‘to sa’kin and I’m sad that it’s over :(((((((((( The seme is my dream guy,, actually i think he’s every girl’s dream guy, he’s so good. ✊️😞💯💜 (this is my wallpaper atm, they’re so cute talaga). 

💖•Heesu In Class 2 (completed) -😍👌💜✊️😩💘 cute and so pure im,,, ugH orz. Nung natapos ko season 1 I fell in love with the story,, like PROTECT THEM OK THEY’RE SO FLUFFY AND PURE TALAGA aksjsdhjkjh

•What Lies at the End (completed)-parang nanood ka ng short series 👌 good character and plot development. 

•Raising a Bat (completed) -LIKE WATCHING A KDRAMA PRAMISSSS good sht esp. sa mga bandang dulo,, deals with realistic problems 💯👌.  /becomes a little mature as it progresses/

•Unripened Expression (completed)-FOHTA LONG HAIR NG MC DITO NAKAKALOKA! Cute graphics! 👀

•A Man Like You (completed) -THE ART 👌✨ ngl the seme is shady pero it's pretty damn interesting 👀 

•Can't Take My Eyes Off You (completed) -ANG KDRAMA DIN NG DATING NETO SKL HAHAHA. It looks promising 👀👀 

• 💖 For Your Love (ongoing)-VERY FLUFFY. I thought it was quite boring and nagagaguhan ako sa MC nung una pERO UGH IM SO GLAD I CONTINUED READING IT IS SO SWEET HUHU

💖•Meeting Him (completed)- tHIS IS A CUUUUUUUUUUTE ONE. Especially the seme :(( the plot is clearly inspired from Kdramas, royal person from the past is suddenly transported to present day. However, despite it being completed maraming unresolved things abt the story in the end, yun lang downside for me haha. 

•My Starry Sky (completed)-  A dramatic slice of life. It is veeeeery emotional. It is about two childhood friends and the progression of their friendship and feelings towards e/o. Not the usual na pampakilig type of romance but still a nice read nonetheless! 

MANHUA

💖•19 Days (ongoing, shounen ai) -A CLASSIC 💯😂👌 the side couple MAKES ME SCREAAAAM ANG CUTE TALAGA NILA HAH JUST LOOK  👀 HUHU

💖•Cry For Me (ongoing, yaoi) -ANG CUTE NG ART TAPOS PATI YUNG CHARACTERS HUHU THEY ARE SO PRECIOUS AND CHILL AND THIS IS A VERY NICE READ TALAGA :(( 💜 

💖 •Men’s Wear Store and “Her Royal Highness” (ongoing, shounen ai) -HOYYY ANG CUTE NETO EWAN KO BA? TRIP NA TRIP KO ‘TOOOO HUHUHU CUTIE NILA GRABEHHH,, im not a fan of crossdressing pero this story made me see the light! hahaha pls read if u can it is really good 💜

💖 •Here U Are (ongoing, shounen ai,,, for now? haha)-The art is soooooo fcking good ?? ugh 👌 yung story din? it is  👌 👌 👌 BACK THEN DI KO MASYADO TRIP TO TBH,, PERO NGAYONG BINASA KO YUNG LATEST CHAPTERS I FELL IN LOVE HUHUHUHU PLEASE READ THIS, THIS IS SOOOO GOOD :(( 💜

asldjhasjkas in case u didn’t notice, lahat ng manhuas na nabasa ko love na love ko. i think the chinese peeps have a talent for creating great yaoi (art + story) ganon huhu ok skl

WEBTOON (all shounen-ai)

💖•That Awkward Magic! (ongoing)-aNG CUTE NG DALAWANG ITO AAAAAAA 💜 💜 💜 , one of the works wherein the seme is really, very, truly, boyfriend material. Dream boy ganon /sighs/ 

•My Weird Roommate (ongoing) -yeeeees hit me with that cliche trope, we all need cliches 

🔞👀 manhwa

💖•Killing Stalking (completed)-SO FUCKED UP BUT SO DAMN GOOD GRABE 😩👌 NO WORDS NEEDED 💯 i cried at the last chapter :))

💖•Youjin (completed)-Such a good but short read! HAHAHAHA idk man nagenjoy ako dito ng bongga,, the only problem is that kokonti chapters and it’s already completed huhu. Highly suggested! 💜 

• 💖 Love Is An Illusion (ongoing)-ABO dynamics! kala ko sa fanfics ko lang 'to makikita lol and the artwork is niiiiice! 👀👌 

• 💖 Sign (ongoing)-The story is about a deaf cafe owner and a guy who has,,, like,,, a fetish for the deaf cafe owner’s voice akdjaskdh. It’s new and interesting 💜 

•Window Beyond Window (completed)-GRABEH TOH ANOH,, BASTA MALALAMAN NIYO DIN BAKIT GANYAN REACTION KO WHEN U READ IT HAHAHAHA GRABEH PO TALAGAH ARAW ARAW SILA HAHAHAHA. This is like a prequel to “Room to Room”

•How Sweet is a Sugar Daddy? (completed) -THE DIALOGUES ARE SOOOOOOOOOO GOOD. Nakailang screenshots ako dito. And,, idk ha para saken ang hot nung seme, like one of the hottest 😩🔥

• 💖 BJ Alex (completed) -weLllLlL ang fanfic ng dating nito (i mean,,, handsome camboy is a campus crush? dibUH hahaha)

•Lover Boy (completed)- ISANG TELESERYE,, DAMING PINAGDAANAN HAHAHA,, oh and Eunho (a main character) reminds me of Jungkook,, just sayin 👀 isa din tong gRaBeHh btw lol

•From Points of Three (completed)-Mej madrama yung seme at uke dito, ewan ko sa kanila dami nilang alam HAHAHA,, but it’s entertaining lmaO. (there’s a threesome here, not too much tho, light lang. This ain’t polyamory tho, pero if di niyo trip yun, ayan nawarn ko na kayo haha) 

•I'm Yours, Blood and Soul (completed) -type ko 'to, basta type ko siya hahaha it's an easy read for me hehe cutie 

•My Last Love Scenario (completed) -Established relationship!! I read this before the prequel so mej bobo ako don hakhak. prequel

•Wolf in the House (ongoing) -BEXAN! 💜 SIBERIAN HUSKY! uwu

•Make Me Bark (completed) -a lighthearted read,, typical yaoi with good graphics u know hahaha

💖Totally Captivated -  AHHHHH this manhwa got mE totally captivated grrrr. A yaoi that ACTUALLY works well with action. This is great if you want a lengthy read na di ka mabibitin! 

manga (mostly 🔞)

💖•Ten Count -wooooop 👉👉👀👀👌👌 chos di lang yon ofc the plot got me hooked too, this is rly good!

💖•Life Senjou no Bokura (completed) -UMIYAK AKO BRUH DI KO INEXPECT YON 😭  I CRYYYYYY SHEEEEEEEEET MUST READ IT'S BEAUTIFUL PRAMIS U WON’T REGRET READING THIS 😭👌💜

💖•Honto Yajuu (ongoing)- I LOVE THIIIIS GRABEE (icon ko sila d2 sa tumblr so halata naman jadhasdkh) THEY’RE SO PRECIOUS 😢 💜 ❤️🧡💛  My all time fave yaoi manga talaga (as of now)!! hehehe. As in, idk tuwang tuwa ako sa couple na ‘to because they show such a loving and healthy relationship hehe.

💖•Yatamomo- pROTECT THIS COUPLE EWAN KO HA MOMO IS...UGHHHHH 😢💜 Comedy but if u look closer grabe basta huhu it might seem like comedy and sex pero sHUCKS SILA I LOVED THIS ���💛

💖•Fushidara na Hanatsumi Otoko (completed)- This features a good relationship, likeable characters, and is very pleasing to read so it’s sad to know na mej underrated to huhu 😢💜 A very good read!! 💛

💖•Gunjou no Subete- slightly painful but my heart felt fULL after reading this ahhhhh 💜

•Labradorescence- A doctor and a photographer, ahh yes, slice of life of two adults uwu

•Kocchi Muite Waratte- Co-workers!! Cute confessions and relatable inner dialogues!  💜

•No.6 -A plot heavy story na di super focused on romance,, BUT IT’S THERE AND THEY LOVE EACH OTHER AND THE PLOT IS GOOD SOOOO yeah it’s a good read!

•Super Lovers -aAaAaAH Ren the cutie pie uwu,, for those who are bothered by age gaps,, this ain’t for u lol. Also this is (kinda) slow burn! For those who don’t know what that is igoogle niyo nalang hahaha basta ayon, more on slice of life siya,, as in showing the daily lives of the characters etc. etc.

•Konya mo Nemurenai -CUTIE NILAAAA 💜 THERE'RE DEMONS IN THIS MANGA AND THEY CHILL AF COZ..u know,, manga.

sequel: 

•Jackass! -A fun and easy read hehehe and idk ha trip ko pagka drawing sa characters 👀👌

💖•Sasaki to Miyano (ongoing)-  I AM IN LOOOOVE WITH THIS MANGA!! I LOVE IT WITH A PASSION 🔥💜 para siyang typical na tropahan ng guys sa anime bUT WITH ROMANCE,, yung SHOUJO MANGA type na romance huhuhu a must read! Warning tho, matagal tagal mag update :(( 

💖•Yoidore Koi o Sezu (completed, yaoi)-  Saglitan sa’kin ‘to hahaha, it is very very very nice! Good romance, good sex, good story, aHhhh a good read! 💜

💖•Shiba-kun to Sheperd-san (ongoing, yaoi)-  tHERE IS A CUTE DOG HERE GRABE GRRRR. PATI YUNG MAGJOWA DITO VV CUTIEEE. Kaso another one na mabagal bagal magupdate zzz but still! A cute read! uwu 

💖•Sayonara Alpha (completed, yaoi)- ABO!Dynamics mej nakaka loka siya kasi parang kakatok na yung FBI maya maya sa pintuan habang binabasa ko ‘to asldjnanskjdadjjasjk. but don’t worry! hindi siya (totally) shotacon! AND I ACTUALLY LIKED HOW UNIQUE IT IS EWAN OK NAGENJOY AKO HAHAHA BASTA BASAHIN NIYO TO KNOW WHY TF IT IS SO UNIQUE HAHAHA. 

💖•Itsuka koi ni naru made (ongoing, yaoi)- i think i have a thing for unrequited love between best friends asldjaskjdhadh. Ok ang cliche nito tbh pero iDK WE ALL NEED CLICHES EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE AND THIS IS A GOOD ONE hehez. 

This has a sequel, and apparently it’s good! at nakakaloka completed ang sequel pero yung prequel hindi grr (di ko pa nababasa coz habang inuupdate ko to tsaka ko lang nalaman lmao): 

•Kazoku Ni Narouyo (mangarock says it’s ongoing, but mangago says it’s completed sO don ako sa completed HAHAHA)

💖•Usagi Otoko Tora Otoko (completed)- HOY ANG PURE NITO. VERY WHOLESOME. GRABE MY HART OK. The couple is so precious and cute huhu PLEASE READ THIS IT IS GOOD FOR UR HEART :”(( 💜

•Hatsukoi- The characters OBVIOUSLY look like kageyama and hinata, pero since the author used different names, hindi ko siya icoconsider na doujinshi out of respect hahaha. NAPUYAT AKO NETO COZ IT WAS INTERESTING AF. 

💖 •(haikyuu!dj) Pinky Promise with My Boyfriend the King (completed, shounen ai) -BASAHIN MO FUUUUUUUUUUUKK SO MUCH MOE DLADASFASJDLASKJDAS

•(haikyuu!dj) Hatsukoi Combat (one-shot, shounen ai)-AAAH ANG CUTE POTEK I LOVE KAGEHINA SO MUCH OK I HAD TO 😭

•(haikyuu!dj) Tatoeba (one-shot, shounen ai), -FAVE PAIRING KO TALAGA KUROKEN SKL OK I LOVE THEM KASO DI GANUN KARAMI FANFICS and DOUJINSHI NILA :(( (one-shot)

•(haikyuu!dj) Precious Inversion (one-shot, shounen ai) -AAH another cute one ugH KageHina is precious af ok,, appreciate ✊️😩 

I hope you found something to your liking! 💜 Again, I will no longer be updating this post but for my new recommendations, I’ll be posting it under the tag: ‘rec’. Happy reading! 🙆💋