#conmunity

[mewguca]

coffee

i like how lof looks here so i. am posoting thins.

[acexualien]

Day 6 of Ace Week: Struggles That People On The Asexual Spectrum Face! Enjoy 💜 and remember that you are valid and loved no matter what!!

[skeletalobscurity]

He's a little silly

[sollareclipse]

My favorite trick for when I get dysphoric about someone referring to my kintype in third person?? Pretend you’re in disguise. I’m literally a master of deception!!!!! I made you believe I’m human!!!!! I’m the world’s greatest scam artist

[lord-of-geeks-and-subs]

Community task

Do you want to get personalized CnC masturbation instructions? Then send in an anonymous message describing the following:

-age

-pronouns

-if your pussy is hairy or shaved

-your body type/what you look like

-your filthiest kinks

-your ideal CnC scenario or location

-Fav way to masturbate

-+ share how badly you want me to CnC fuck you or rape you!

Will only give instructions this week!!

[ayselluna]

I swear I can stay in tumblr the whole day and forget time while I read all of your fanfics!!! I'm just absorbing everything at this point. I can't!! they're all too good! You talented bunch of Astarion obsessed people. I hope you guys are blessed infinitely. And we get our own Astarion IRL too. Maybe. But maybe when we pray. I dunno 😂

[tonakuma]

2024 Creative Wrapup and Look Ahead

This ended up very long and rambly but. I just wanted to get it out. Say my piece out to the world on my tumblr where most of my usual followers don't know I even am x3 Look Back

2024 was a hard year. I have no idea how 2024 started. But what I know is the moment I got unexpectedly terminated from my employment in early 2024, everything changed.

I think I was, in many ways, lost, for most of 2024 as a result of not having a job. But it was more than that. I was creatively aimless. I was struggling artistically and didn't have a purpose.

What originally started off as an attempt to learn more human anatomy to better draw furry stuff ended up snowballing into loving art more and once again. I stopped trying to be something and someone else. I stopped trying to fit into a box to appease a certain group, where many didn't even care anyways. And god everyone noticed. The amount of people who were commenting about my art glow up and how much better I was doing. That motivated me so much. And for the first time in a long time. I could see they were right. I Knew they were right. I understood the power of doing something I loved and how much that reflected in what I did.

That shift ended up cascading. It evolved and carried forward. It multiplied exponentially. It ended up culminating in me just locking up and moving on from something for my own mental health. While it was the catalyst for my artistic creativity, while I met many amazing people from it... there was also some truly awful things that happened to me. I cannot ignore the scars, regardless of how situations and myself as a person have improved. So it was time I parted ways and I am better of for it. Whether my departure from that part of my life will be for now or forever, only time will tell. For now I am happy it's locked in a box and out of sight. And my happiness matters most.

In the last months of 2024, by a series of chances I rediscovered by love of writing too. A realization I was driving a rare-pair ship for a large fandom, combined with a release for a game started it all. I focused on those fics with a renewed sense of purpose in October to November. The best month to do so given history and the writing events during it. In December, the last month of the year. A simple desire to say "thank you" - to someone who I had seen being so helpful to writers and creatives, helping in moderating and running events in a server - blossomed into something amazing. I made plans to watch She-Ra and the Princesses of Power with the express intent of writing a fanfic as a gift for that mod. I'd watch the series over November into December. Write the fic in December and then go back to my own fandoms. None of that happened. I binged the series in less than a week. I started writing the fic and I also started drawing art for it. I actually had Spop fanart BEFORE the fic was finished. A quick sketch of Catra as a trucker, roughly coloured based on conversation from my gift target. (How he didn't sense something was up at that point was beyond me lmao). I fell wholeheartedly into this lovely series and have a long fic completely outlined that I've already been picking away at. It's probably gonna be my big 2025 project. On top of fanart sketches and other fun things. Also on the note of binging, I just finished binging said gift targets 300k word fanfic in about 6 days. Because apparently when I fall into something I just fall whole heartedly into it. Full send out for a rip bud. Peak Canadian hours I guess. Go read Defiance by TheNotebookWizard xD.

I picked up things old and new and with a renewed sense of how I creatively work best as a writer and artist. I've published more written words in the last two months of 2024, than I did in the past 2 years combined. I have a new canvas to work on for words (Scrivener), and the same trusty canvas (ClipStudio) I've come to love for art. My art growth has never been better and the 2024 wrapup shows that wonderfully: (Also Frith-rah I drew alot of Lisbeth/Rika in 2024 lmao)

Most importantly. I found the joy in creating both words and art again. I re-discovered fully the love of creating something.

Look Ahead

As I look ahead to 2025 I'm still scared and anxious. I've taken the first steps already into a career shift courtesy of a fully funded education to employment program. It's in a completely new field for me too. Scary. I wonder how much time I will have for creativity. If I can balance being a student and also being a creative. I want to keep creating but I fear school will eat all that.

Who knows that will come however.

All I can hope for is that I will ride the momentum I have built up creatively at the end of this year and carry it forward to 2025. I am going to try my best to do just that. If i will it into existence, it should happen. If I tell myself to do it. I will do it. I have a whole new large fanfic story to start sending out to the world. Old fanfics to wrap up on. I have creative artistic ideas that I just want to get fufilled. Some of these are wombo-combo in tandem things. Art for these fanfics. It's gonna be fun. I am excited as much as I am nervous and anxious. I got this.

[commonsensecommentary]

A necessary reminder regarding the many, many Marxist threats now facing our nation.

(From my blog archive)

[the-bjd-community-confess]

My theory about some people who start up businesses, do preorders or whatever and then never send the goods, I genuinely think some people can't comprehend other people existing, like not really, they get the magic money from the glowing screen, then they use the magic money, and then some people in the glowing screen are angry or stressed because they never sent the goods, but no worries they're just text on a screen and they're being mean to me, woe is me. They genuinely can't conceptualize the actual humans sitting in different locations across the world, waiting for their items like ??? and wondering why they just threw their money into the air. I know it is mostly honest people in the BJD community, most people can conceptualize Other Humans Existing but for the ones who just run off with people's money I think the above applies.

~Anonymous

[bnncat]

Outgrowing fandom is so sad. I genuinely miss being so passionate about a piece of media

[epicdogymoment]

[closes eyes] maybe its ok if you dont get a particular post or a particular piece of art or any media. its ok [drifts off in the wind]

[chococookiez]

compilation of me being very confused

[therealajayny]

What A Year - Say Goodbye to 2023

In 2024 I discussed labor, capitalism, vanity, Palestine, Congo, Sudan, capitalism…I will say that this is probably one of the saddest years of my life. And not on a personal level. I’m okay personally. 2024 replay of some of my TikTok posts. The music is Abusin’ Me by @Yanatheartist TikTok was heavily censored. We were saying things like banana’d for banned. Schmurder for Murder, SA for sexual…

[hildifons-hairyfoot]

I want a hug so bad. I want to be held. I'm so touch starved everything hurts.

[ayselluna]

SOMEBODY ACTUALLY DID IT 😭😭😭 omg you talented people on this fandom never disappoint for angst!!

IM CRYING!! THIS IS AMAZING THOOO AHHH

now, can somebody please make it fluff 🥹🥹🥹

Each and Every Time

Saw this post and got inspired to write a very angsty fic. Thank you for the idea @ayselluna!

No. Not again. Not again!

Your fingertips miss his by a hair’s breadth and his ruby red eyes widen as gravity pulls at his body, dragging him into the abyss that waits for him.

“Astarion!” You scream. You’re tired, so tired of screaming his name like this, so tired of watching him fall over and over again, so tired…of watching him die for the thousandth time.

His gaze meets yours, lips forming a soundless word as blood drenches his front, streams of crimson trickling from the corners of his mouth. You can see the fear in his eyes, the panic, but you can’t form the words he needs to hear. You don’t know how to comfort him, reassure him that everything will be alright when you can’t even tell yourself that. All you can think about is when you lost count of how many times you’ve watched him die.

You can’t remember when.

Tears begin to blur your vision as you collapse to your knees, wondering how many more times you must see this sight. You howl, you curse, screaming to the gods above with all that your shattered heart can muster, and then the world warps into a familiar myriad of colours, dropping you off right back where you started.

Your feet carry you west of the crashed nautiloid ship, the route long memorised and you swallow the lump in your throat when a familiar figure comes into view. He stands with his back to you, the sun shining on silvery-white curls and speaks the words.

“Hurry, I’ve got one of those brain things cornered.”

Grief wells up, your chest tightening as you force your arms to remain where they are. This Astarion doesn’t know who you are, doesn’t know of who he will become, doesn’t know anything of your relationship.

“Are you…alright?” Shadowheart asks. “You’re tearing up.”

Tearing up? You reach up, touching your face only for your fingers to come away wet.

You’re actually crying.

Astarion’s face contorts into one of confusion, his lips parting to say something but you brush him off with a shake of your head, quickly wiping the tears away.

“Where is it?” You ask, gaze trained on the bush where you know the boar is hiding. Your mind is elsewhere, running through various ways to protect the vampire you know you will fall in love with all over again as he gestures towards the bush. The boar runs out moments later, followed by the flash of an all too familiar dagger but you’re too deep in thought to notice, until his voice whispers into your ears.

“I saw you scuttling about on the ship. You’re in league with them, aren’t you? Those tentacled —”

The tadpole in your brain resonates with his, snapping you out of your thoughts and you wonder if he caught a glimpse of any of his previous selves. How would he react if you told him everything? If you told him he was destined to fall in love with you over and over again? If you told him of the many ways you’d seen life leave his eyes?

Still, you run through the motions of convincing him to join your party, shoving away all memories of the times you had tried to leave him to fend for himself and trying not to break down in front of him again when he fakely smiles at you, does his little dramatic bow and asks you to lead the way.

Like he always did in the beginning.

You go through it all again, both the journey and the relationship. You keep to yourself the knowledge that Astarion is Cazador’s vampire spawn, the knowledge of the ritual, the knowledge of his scars for you know he is unprepared to face Cazador as he is right now — fearful and afraid. It hurts to see him go through it all again, to see him at his lowest. Each and every time he meets you in the forest under the moonlight, sensually whispering the same words into your ear, you bite your tongue to stop yourself from spilling it all and let him believe the lie he tells himself.

Your heart breaks each time you hear him fight his nightmares, knowing your relationship is nowhere close enough for you to enter his tent without being attacked, forcing you to sit outside his tent and listen to his cries all while desperately wanting to comfort him.

He’s so near yet so far.

The mornings after you check up on him, only to be brushed off as he stalks into the forest, hiding the tear streaks on his face. You know the exact nightmare he dreamt of, it’s always the same one at this juncture of the journey, but you dare not tell him that. Your nightmares always change, but it’s always one of Astarion’s deaths and you wake up in cold sweat each time, praying he didn’t hear his name fall from your lips. He has never asked you about it, so you assume he didn’t hear.

You give him his favourite weapons each and every time, pretending never to know that they are the weapons he’s most comfortable using, feigning surprise to blend in with the rest of the party when he starts dishing out damage with ease. You slip spools of thread into his tent when he’s not looking, secretly fuelling the hobby he’s never told anyone about.

Finally, your ragtag group makes it to Moonrise Towers. You know this marks the start of a deeper relationship with Astarion, once you’ve encountered the drow named Araj. You keep your words to yourself when Ketheric shows his immortality, the lies required for free rein of Moonrise Towers slipping from your lips like honey. You can feel your heartbeat quicken as your party draws nearer and nearer to Araj, a mixture of anxiety and excitement stirring within you. You know it’s after this that Astarion lets you in, you’ve gone through this countless times and yet your feelings about this moment never change.

You resist the urge to throttle Araj when you meet her for the first time in this journey, knowing you have to let Astarion do the talking before you step in to back him up. The scene unfolds like always and you say the words that leave Astarion bewildered yet happy, with a warmth blooming within his chest.

“Don’t do anything you don’t want to.”

You mean it, you always do. You see the corners of his lips curve into a small smile when he realises the meaning of your words and feel tears prick your eyes. Would this be the last time you needed to witness this? Would this journey end the same way the previous ones did?

When the rest make camp, you step out for a bit to clear your head first. You know what is to come, you know how much this moment means to Astarion.

You know how much this moment affects you.

You’re afraid. You always are at this moment. Once more you will have to open your heart to him, let him in with the lingering knowledge he may die in front of your eyes again, love him despite the pain that may follow suit, and still your feet bring you to his tent, pulled in the direction by your heart. No matter how painful it may be, your heart will always yearn for him, so you will continue to keep your secret, hide your hurt deep within, all for his sake.

Despite everything, Astarion will always fall for you, and you him. You cannot lie to him, cannot pretend like you don’t care about him, that you don’t love him so deeply it hurts, instead you stifle your sobs as you close the gap, wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug, an action you’ve done so many times before.

This time. This time you will save him.

Everything passes by in a blur after that. He starts to call you by more familiar pet names, starts to be intimate with you in more ways than nightly activities and you grin and bear it all. You ignore the shaking in your hands whenever he leans in to kiss you, focusing on the fact that he is alive right here and now. If he has noticed any of this, he says nothing and you’re grateful for that. You’re not sure how to explain why you’re constantly on the verge of tears when he says a particular line or does a particular action.

Your party defeats the Netherbrain once more, a battle you’ve long tired of and this time you choose to settle down with Astarion in a small quaint village on the outskirts of Baldur’s Gate, hoping to avoid potential threats. You invite the others to celebrate a year of this new life, this new future. Is this the end of your suffering?

And then he gets staked right through the heart.

You don’t even have the energy to scream anymore. You can vaguely hear the others chasing after the vampire hunters, shouts and screams mingling in the air but all you do is crumple to the floor, mind numb. Crimson spreads everywhere, imprints on your shirt where his bloody hand grasps at you as he coughs up blood. The damned stake is still sticking out of his body, his trembling hand reaching up to wipe away the tears that fall silently, smearing more blood on your face in the process.

“It’s…alright…my love…I…thank…you...” He smiles softly and his hand falls to the stained floor, cold and motionless.

“How many more?” You whisper to no one. “How many more times?”

You can’t even bring yourself to cradle his body, you’ve lost track of how many times you’ve done that already. You rise to your feet, wanting nothing more than for this to end and your broken heart keens, desperate for this loop to be over. The world bursts into a myriad of colours and you choke your tears back down.

You will always love him. No matter the cost. And that fact tears you apart.

[presidentkamala]

Do i think that kamala would have definitely absolutely won if muslim arabs in dearborn specifically voted for her? No, probably not, in all honesty.

But its just - hard, right now. Im not muslim but i did (and still do) everything i could to stand up for the muslim conmunity at a time when hindus, sikhs, jains etc were also being mistakenly targeted by violent bigots that resulted in mass shootings at sikh temples etc.

I do my best to stand up to very real and blatant islamophobia ESP in an era where ISIS and "terrorism" captured the american imagination. And this is WITH a complicated cultural history in which Muslim imperial powers coerced my people, with clashes as recent as the 90s.

This election doesnt change my commitment to continuing to support and stand with muslim americans. But it DOES change my expectation to be supported in turn. It DOES change my expectation that muslim americans will have my back in the future. And that DOES hurt.