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twdeadfanfic · 2 years

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue...-Fanfic Advent Calendar 2022 Day 3 - Murphy MacManus

Murphy MacManus x female Reader

Summary: This one-shot is part of @lilythemadqueen Fanfict Advent Calendar event. My prompt was “Roses are red, violets are blue, merry Christmas bitch, I love you.” Reader goes to spend Christmas evening with the MacManus twins. There’s fluff and some smut here.

You rushed out of the taxi and towards the MacManus building, already grinning at the idea of seeing the twins, and also already a bit tipsy.

It was Christmas day and you had spent most of the day with your family, but now, in the evening, you were visiting Murphy and Connor, who loved Christmas but couldn’t afford to travel back home to visit their mother that year, and who’d asked you if you wanted to go to their place to celebrate.

Their place wasn’t the most comfortable, but how could you refuse, with how much fun you always had with the twins, and you also knew that they were feeling down about not being able to visit their mother for Christmas, so you wanted to be there for them on Christmas day.

Knocking on their door, you heard their voices and then they opened the door at the same time, knocking into each other…yes, they were not only fun, they were also rather endearing.

“Roses are red, violets are blue, merry Christmas bitches, I love you,” was the greeting that you offered, which had sounded way more fun and cute in your head than it did when you heard it out aloud, and maybe were you a bit more tipsy than you had thought?

Connor seemed to be of the same opinion, and he snorted. “Look at that, brother, lass’s already drunk! And to think that we were savin’ the good whiskey for when she arrived…”

“Aye!” Murphy nodded, with that pretty smile that you found so charming and those bright eyes that you found so beautiful. “Gettin’ drunk without us, love? That’s rude…”

Before you could say anything in protest, Murphy was already tugging you inside, while Connor headed to the counter to take a bottle of whiskey.

“Wait, wait, presents first, booze later,” you said, taking off your coat and throwing it on a chair, before reaching inside your bag and taking out a box wrapped with green paper.

Both twins looked at the gift with eyes bright as kids…they could be so cute sometimes. Both of them reached at the same time for the box and you pulled it back.

“No fighting, it can break, if you don’t behave I’ll open it myself,” you warned them.

After some snapping and slapping each other's hands, Connor let out an exasperated sigh. “Fine, let my greedy, needy little brother open it,” he grumbled.

“Little brother my ass…” Murphy muttered, too focused on the gif that you were handing him to snap much at his brother.

“Careful…” You reminded him at his eager hands, and so he placed it on the coffee table, unwrapping it with more care than you’d have expected.

Once the paper was off, it revealed a pack set of a bottle of whiskey, the same one that Connor had been reaching for before you asked them to open presents, and two matching glasses for it.

You had been very unsure when choosing what to get for the MacManus, and you were very nervous at it, but they both were grinning as they looked at it, so you hoped they liked it for real.

“Thanks, love!” Murphy told you, reaching to open the box, but Connor slapped his hand with a muttered ‘careful’.

“Aye, lass, real nice, thanks!” Connor said as he opened the box himself, carefully taking out the matching glasses and the bottle of whiskey.

“I’m sorry that it’s a brand that you already have,” you apologized. “But that way I knew that you liked it.”

“Aye, lass, we do, our favorite.” Connor nodded.

“And our best!” Murphy nodded along. “But, love, we need to get ye a glass too, aye? So yer not left out!”

You tried to ignore the warm twirls in your belly at Murphy’s words…it was a foolish feeling. “I can get a glass, but these two are especially for you both MacManus,” you told him. “And finally there are actual glasses in this household!”

“Aye!” Both twins nodded to that.

“Now yours!” Murphy said as he handed you a shapeless, wrapped gift. He looked excited as a kid, it was endearing,

As you tore the paper, you found a soft, white scarf. “It’s so beautiful!” You said as you ran your hands over the material.

“Irish wool, love, we asked our ma’ to send it from Ireland,” Murphy told you.

“Aye! It’s the softest, lass!” Connor agreed.

“I can feel it!” The beautiful fabric felt soft and warm. “Thank you, guys, I love it!”

You leaned to hug both twins at the same time, wrapping an arm around each, their arms wrapping around you too, hugging you even a bit too tight, but you were not going to complain, the MacManus hugs were just the best.

“Now…booze!” Connor cheered, bringing the whiskey bottle and the glass that you usually used, while you carefully took out of the packet their new glasses.

You three talked about this and that while you drank, about your family's Christmas that day, about their Christmas back in Ireland, stuff going on in your lives, and just any random thought or occurrence that came across your mind…one thing for sure, you were never bored with the MacManus.

Even when they grumbled and complained whenever you kicked them out so you could go to their doorless bathroom, it always ended up being more fun than embarrassing, while in turn, you grumbled and complained every time they didn’t have any qualms about using the bathroom with you right there…you appreciated the familiarity with which they treated you, you truly loved it, but sometimes, just sometimes, in cases like those, it might get a bit too much.

Neither of you minded it much, though, and everything was as fun as always.

You were sat down on the sofa, between both brothers, and what started like Murphy animatedly gesturing around while he spoke, ended up with his arm casually thrown over your shoulders. You wouldn’t complain, though…in fact, the drunker you got, the more you leaned against him, but he was not complaining either.

You tried not to read much into it, though, both brothers were prone to physical affection, which was something that you loved about them, so you knew that Murphy’s gesture didn’t mean that he wanted anything more besides friendship with you…but you would soak in the feeling of his arm around your shoulders, on the pressure and the warmth of his body against yours, for as long as you could.

“Okay, guys…” You sighed after several hours…you were pretty much lying against Murphy’s chest by now, but you were too tired and kind of drunk to feel shy about it. “I can’t keep my eyes open anymore. I should try to get myself a taxi and go home.”

“Nah, lass, it’s late, stay here,” Connor said. “Sleep it off.”

“Aye.” Murphy nodded, and he seemed drowsy too.

“Sleep here om an old sofa and with a bathroom with no door…tempting,” you half-joked.

“Mean.” Murphy nudged your shoulder with his forehead almost catlike…and almost as if he were going to fall asleep on you. “Come on, love, it’s too late and yer too drank, we’ll feel better if ye stay.

“Aye, ye’re not gonna sleep on a sofa, ye take me or my brother’s bed,” Connor told you.

“But…”

“But nothin’, lass,” Connor didn’t let you complain even if you felt bad stealing their beds. “I’ll throw a coin…” He got one from his trousers pocket. “Heads for me, tails for Murph,” Connor said, Murphy just shrugged, and Connor threw the coin. “Tails.” He grinned at his brother. “Lass gets yer bed.”

“Okay, okay…get out of my bed ye two, then,” Murphy gestured dramatically at the sofa.

You didn’t know what made you speak up, if it was the alcohol, if it was being pressed to Murphy’s side for most of the night, your ever-growing crush on him, or just you feeling guilty about taking his bed…whatever it was, you went for it.

“Actually, I, uh…this sofa is not the most comfortable, and it’s your bed, so, I don’t mind sharing it,” you told him before you could think it too much.

“Are ye sure, love?” Murphy frowned at you. “I don’t mind the sofa.”

“I don’t mind us sharing the bed…” You shrugged, trying to appear casual and to not show how flustered the idea of sleeping next to Murphy got you, but also how much you wished for it... “But if you’re not comfortable with it, it’s okay…” You tried not to show your insecurity while thinking that Murphy might not want to sleep near you.

“I don’t mind, love, better sharin’ my bed with ye than sleepin’ alone on this sofa, aye?” Murphy said and you were not sure if he was joking or not, but his words sent twirls to your belly anyway, and his frown had given way to a smile, which was reassuring.

“Aye,” you imitated his accent, to which Murphy playfully pouted at you, and the use to urge to kiss those pouty lips was almost overwhelming, but you were not drunk enough, and he was already moving.

“Let’s get ye somethin’ to sleep in…”

Soon, you were kicking the grumbling twins outside so you could use the bathroom and change from your clothes into the t-shirt and sweatpants that Murphy had given you, calling yourself foolish at the giddy twirls that danced in your belly at the idea of wearing Murphy’s clothes.

As always, they weren’t shy about using the bathroom or changing clothes with you right here, while you averted your eyes and complained about how much they embarrassed you and how much they seemed to enjoy it.

When Murphy headed to the bed wearing just a t-shirt and his underwear, just like his also shameless brother, you had to tell yourself not to stare and ogle him, and make things weird…it was not easy not to stare, though.

“Which side of the bed do you prefer?” You asked Murphy so you’d look at the bed instead of at him.

“Don’t care.”

“I’ll leave you the one nearer your brother, I know you two always have to be next to each other,” you said, smiling and the indignant huffs that the twins let out.

You crawled under the sheets at the side of the bed closer to the wall, trying not to overthink how you were in Murphy’s bed, but it was difficult with him lying next to you. You were trying to keep your distance, even if the bed was not big and even if you really did not want to, feeling like pressing closer to Murphy, but you didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, to overstep boundaries…and you didn’t want to be a creep.

Still, you allowed yourself to enjoy the closeness to Murphy, and the warmth coming from him, trying to stop the thoughts that wondered how warm and comfortable it’d feel to curl up with him…One thing for sure, this night would feed your daydreams for all days to come.

“Sleep it is,” Connors said from his bed, yawing and looking half-asleep already, and he reached to turn off the light.

“‘night, love,” whispered Murphy, and his low rasp right next to you sent a warm feeling to your belly that you tried to ignore.

“Goodnight,” you whispered back, once again trying to control your thoughts and wishes.

Murphy shuffled on the bed as if trying to get more comfortable, his body and his warmth getting torturously close to you. There was the faintest brush of his leg to yours, but you didn’t have much time to enjoy it, or to be tortured by it, since you were drunk and more than tired too, and soon, you were falling asleep.

You woke up a few hours later when the first rays of sun began to softly light the MacManus’s place… Of course, your slowly awakening brain thought, the MacManus wouldn’t have curtains…not surprising, considering they didn’t even have a proper bathroom.

You were feeling very warm and comfortable, and soon you realized that Murphy’s arm was wrapped around you, holding you. He seemed to have moved closer to you while you both slept, curling up to you as you had wished to do, and so his chest was pressed against your back as his arm held you firmly to him, and you could even feel his breathing on your shoulder.

Warm twirls began dancing in your belly, and your heart seemed to be doing a little dance too, even if your rational mind tried to tell you that Murphy didn’t know what he was doing, he’d moved closer and hugged you in his sleep, not consciously…but you couldn’t help how it made you feel.

You basked in that warm feeling, on Murphy’s touch and on the feeling of his body so close to yours. You wistfully wished that you could stay like that for the whole day, and you hoped Murphy would take long to wake up.

You tried to shift even closer to Murphy, careful not to wake him, and you smiled when his arm held you even tighter at that…if only this were your everyday morning.

Soon, you heard Murphy murmuring something in his sleep, pulling you even closer to him, nuzzling your neck, and you felt as if your heart was going to burst, the butterflies in your belly were going crazy, even if you tried to tell yourself not to be foolish, not to get your hopes high, Murphy was asleep and he didn’t know what he was doing…

You felt the moment in which Murphy woke up completely, because he stopped nuzzling you, instead going rigid against you before moving away in such haste that he almost fell off the bed.

“Shit…fuck, lass, I’m sorry, I…” He stumbled over his words, apologizing.

“It’s okay…” You whispered, feeling shy now that Murphy was awake, but you wanted him to know that you didn’t mind him holding you…actually, you wanted him to know that you enjoyed it very, very much, but you weren’t sure if he may have enjoyed it too or if it was just him moving in his sleep. “I really didn’t mind, it’s okay…” You moved to lay on your back instead of your side, but you were still too shy to face him.

“Aye?” Murphy whispered back and you nodded.

“Yeah…” You made yourself turn to look at him, and even in the dim room, you could see how his cheeks were flushed. He seemed shy and still a bit sleepy, hair all over the place… He was so beautiful, and you could still feel his warmth, his body next to yours…you decided to go for it.

“In fact, it was, uh…it was a very nice way to wake up…well, and to sleep too…it was…comfy.” Great, wonderful…you almost facepalmed yourself at your choice of words. “I mean…it’s nice, you know…to be held…” You were feeling shyer and shyer, and you decided to just shut up.

Murphy, though, nodded. “Aye…” He murmured. “Aye, it is.”

Slowly, Murphy moved closer again, reaching out his arm but looking at you as if checking that you were okay with it. He wasn’t usually so hesitant and shy when showing physical affection, and it was endearing in a way.

You moved closer too, trying to encourage him, to show him that you wanted to cuddle again, and so Murphy finally wrapped his arm around you. You reached out to hug him too, and when you did that, Murphy pulled you even closer, so you were snuggled against his chest.

You let out a content sigh, losing the fight against the butterflies twirling in your belly, but you were still afraid that you may be getting your hopes too high, and you feared Murphy may be just indulging you.

“Are you comfortable?” You whispered.

“Aye,” Murphy whispered back, softly nuzzling your head again, holding you so close…he really did seem to mean it, he seemed to be enjoying it too…

But still, that didn’t mean anything, that didn’t mean he’d share your feelings…and it kept bothering you.

“Murphy…I, uh…I have to tell you something…” You finally spoke up, even if you feared you’d ruin the moment and you’d never be held like this by Murphy again.

“Hm?” He sounded as if he was falling asleep again, chin on top of your head as he held you so close to him, close enough that you could hide on his chest as you tried to confess your feelings to him.

“I, uh…I like you…really like you, you know, I have feelings for you, I had for a while now, so, uh…yeah…” You got it out before you could regret it and change your mind, but when Murphy didn’t say anything, you began to worry. “Murphy? I’m sorry…if you want me to get out of your bed now, I’ll do it…”

You were not moving away, though, since you were feeling too shy to face Murphy, and your heart was hurting, but then Murphy was holding you tighter anyway, as if he was afraid that you were going to try to leave.

He kept his arm around you but moved back so he could look at you…Usually cheerful, chatterbox Murphy was now serious and silent as he looked at you intently, and you had to look down. Then, though, you felt his hand on your chin, making you look at him again.

Murphy’s hand moved from your chin to your cheek, cupping your face, and then he was leaning in and kissing your lips. You were surprised, but you kissed him back out of instinct, your hand going to his neck while you felt like the butterflies in your belly were making you float.

You lost track of time while Murphy and you kissed, him pulling you even closer, and you didn’t know how much time had passed when you finally broke the kiss, pulling back so you could speak, or try to, since Murphy chased your lips to kiss you again.

“Murphy,” you murmured against his lips. “Wait, wait a second.” You moved away again, though it was hard to resist Murphy’s pouty lips.

“What?” He all but whined, and somehow, it was adorable.

“Does this mean, that, uh…” You might have been making out with Murphy two seconds ago, but now you were shy with words. “That you…you know…”

“That I what, like ye? Ye gotta ask, love?” Murphy chuckled, a cocky smile on his face, and you huffed, rolling your eyes, but you were feeling too elated to be annoyed, a smile on your face, and Murphy kissed you again. “What ye, think, uh?” He said against your lips before pecking them once more. “Of course, I like ye, love.”

You smiled, letting out a delighted but kind of embarrassing giggle against Murphy’s lips, but you didn’t have time to be ashamed of the sound before Murphy was kissing you again, until you couldn't think or feel anything that wasn’t him.

Eventually, his lips traveled to your neck, and you felt him smile whenever he found a ticklish spot. You didn’t know when he’d place it there, but Murphy’s hand seemed to be on your ass now and he was pushing you even closer, your leg hooking around his hips, and the almost whine that Murphy let out, muffled against your neck, when he ground his hips against you, sent a tingle through all your body, and you rocked back against him.

Some part of your mind, though, remembered where you were…The MacManus’ home, a place with no privacy even to go to the bathroom, with Connor sleeping on his bed just a couple of meters away from Murphy’s.

“Murphy…” You whispered, but it turned into a soft cry when he pushed you so you’d lie completely on your back, rocking his hips against yours again and kissing your lips. “Wait, Murph…” You tried again, muffled against his lips, but you couldn’t really get yourself to stop him.

“What…” He stopped kissing you just enough to ask.

“Your brother’s right there…” You whispered, but Murphy didn’t stop, pinning you against his bed and almost making you forget what you wanted to say “Murphy…He may wake up….”

“Don’t care.” His hips seemed to angle you just right as he said that, his hardness brushing against you in a way that made you wonder why you actually cared that Connor was right there, and you rocked back despite your better judgment, letting out a stifle mewl that had Murphy smiling against your lips.

“Murph…” Whether you were moaning his name or trying to ask him to stop, you weren’t sure, but your hips betrayed your worrying mind as they kept moving with Murphy’s, encouraging him.

After a deep kiss that took your breath away, Murphy pulled back, looking at you with heavy-lidded eyes in a way that made you feel even more heated.

His serious face gave way to a smile when you arched against his touch as he slid his hands under the shirt that you were wearing, stroking your bare skin, before sliding his hands down again, hooking his fingers on the waistband of the sweatpants he’d given you.

“He’s going to wake up…” You half-complained, half-warned, glazing at Connor’s sleeping form, but you were lifting your butt off the bed so Murphy could take off your sweatpants anyway.

“And?” Murphy had carelessly scrunched the sweatpants as he slid them down your legs, leaving them somewhere between the sheets, while his lips were already brushing a path of hot kisses across your thigh, and again, you almost forgot why you cared about Connor.

“He’ll notice us…” You murmured, or tried to, while Murphy’s lips made you sigh with every kiss and nibble.

“I don’t care…” His lips sucked a mark on your other thigh and you gasped a bit louder than you’d have wanted to.

“I do…” You whined, but when your hand reached down to Murphy, it was not to stop him but to stroke his hair. “It’ll be mortifying, I…”

You didn’t get to say whatever you were trying to say, because Murphy chose that moment to bury his face between your thighs, placing a kiss on your clothed heath, his nose brushing your clit over your panties as he did so.

“Shit!” You squealed, half in surprise and louder than you’d wanted to be, so you turned to look at Connor to make sure he was still asleep, fingers tightening on Murphy’s hair so he’d stop but it just seemed to make him moan against your core, which didn’t help your situation. “Murph…” You whined.

Another kiss that made your hips rock back against his head with a stifled whimper, and Murphy pulled back slightly to look at you, fingers playing with the waistband of your panties.

“So ye want me to stop, then?” He asked, and you didn’t know if he was genuine or if he was just enjoying teasing you, but the mischief in his eyes told you that it was the second…you wanted to curse and kick him while at the same time you wanted to shove his face between your legs again.

You glanced at Connor again…it was not that you didn’t care that he may wake up, but you were too worked up to stop Murphy, so you just shook your head, and you almost pushed Murphy’s head against you again, but considering his grin, you had to wonder if he may not have minded it.

Murphy had taken down your pants in less than it took you to blink, leaving them forgotten somewhere between the sheets, and then he was placing open-mouthed kisses on your inner thighs, getting closer and closer to your center, and you tried not to actually whine as you wiggled your hips, chasing his lips.

When he finally kissed you center, tongue sliding over your wetness before his lips encircled your clit, you had to bite the back of your hand to stifle your cry. Your thighs clamped on his head, but judging by his moan, Murphy didn’t seem to mind, though soon he was pushing your thighs onto the bed again.

You tried your best to muffle every moan, gasp, and sound that you couldn’t help but let out as Murphy kept going, almost making you forget that Connor could just wake up and catch you and his brother like that, too lost on how Murphy was making you feel.

When you came, you had to bite your hand again, barely remembering to try to be quiet, and still, you were pretty certain you were a bit too loud, but you couldn’t care, crying out as your back arched on the bed and your fingers tightened even more on Murphy’s hair, while Murphy kept going even then.

He didn’t stop until you loosened your grip on him, panting, trying to catch your breath, glancing at Connor, and even though you were relieved to find him still asleep, you were too blissed out to really care.

Murphy kissed your center once again, making your hips jerk, and then he placed soft kisses over your thighs again. He lifted the t-shirt that you were wearing enough to kiss your belly, and then he slid up your body, looking at you and smiling before kissing your lips.

“Okay?” He asked you quietly when he pulled back.

“Yeah…yeah…better than okay,” you panted, regretting it at his smug smile…he was going to get all arrogant now…

You were sure Murphy was going to make a cocky remark, but he just grinned at you in a way that took your breath away at how beautiful and adorable he looked, before he kissed you deeply.

As you kissed, his hardness kept insistently brushing against your naked, sensitive core, and Murphy kept letting out needy sounds against your lips, pressing even harder against you, until you couldn’t help yourself anymore, throwing all caution through the window.

You pushed at Murphy, and he seemed confused and even worried until he realized what you were trying to do, grinning as he let you push him onto his back with you straddling him.

This time, it was you who slid your hands under his t-shirt, stroking his hot skin, lifting his t-shirt on your way as you rocked your hips, your heat sliding against his boner. Murphy cursed, closing his eyes as he tilted his head back, and you took advantage of that, leaning to kiss and nibble his neck.

“Fuck, love…” He half-whined, half-cursed, grabbing your waist to make you rock against him again, and you pulled back to look at him, enjoying the look on his face as much as the sounds he was letting out, you were too into it now to remember to tell Murphy to keep it quiet.

Murphy’s hands loosened the grip on your hips, sliding up your torso and to your breast, and so you grabbed your t-shirt to take it off.

“What the fuck…”

You heard Connor’s voice when your head was covered with your shirt as you took it off, and you squealed, letting the t-shirt fall over your body again.

You looked towards Connor’s bed, finding him blinking at Murphy and you, seeming very sleepy and confused, so you threw yourself off Murphy, covering your body with the sheets and frantically trying to find your pants somewhere between them.

“Connor! Fuck, get back to sleep!” Murphy snapped at his brother while you kept trying to find your underwear.

“But…what…”

“Get the fuck out of here or go back to sleep!” Murphy snapped again and you heard Connor huffing an annoyed okay.

“Love?” Murphy called for you, you were pretty much buried under the sheets, and you finally found your pants, struggling to put them on. “Love…it’s okay, Connor’s not lookin’, come out of there…”

Murphy pulled the sheet off your head and you glared at him, embarrassed, finally managing to pull up your underwear, and you searched for your sweatpants, but Murphy stopped you with a hand on your hip, turning to face you.

“I’m sorry but…he’s not lookin’ now, aye?” Murphy told you softly, nodding towards Connor, who had covered himself with the sheets, curling up with his back to Murphy and you. “Just ignore him…”

Murphy tried to kiss you again, pulling you closer, but you didn’t let him. “Are you serious?!” You huffed. “We’re not doing…this in front of your brother!” You weren’t really surprised that Murphy didn’t care about his brother’s presence, though.

“He doesn’t care…” Murphy said as if that solved anything, but before you could complain again, his lips were on yours, his hand on your ass pulling your hips flush with him again, bucking into you, making you let out a small moan despite yourself.

“Murph…” You said against his lips, willing your body to move away from him but kissing him back anyway, and you fleetly wondered what was wrong with you, if kisses were melting your brain somehow. “Murphy, we can’t…”

“Come on, love, please…he’s asleep again…” Murphy whined, begged almost, still holding you close.

You bit your lip as you looked at him and…were you really considering this? You pulled away from him, searching for the sweatpants before Murphy could make you fall into temptation again or before you could let those pouty lips and begging puppy eyes take control over your brain.

“He's right, lass, I don’t care…” Connor’s voice came from his bed, muffled as if he was still covered with the sheets, but it only made you feel more embarrassed…he’d already seen enough.

You dodged Murphy's grabby hands and sat up on the bed to put on the sweatpants, while Murphy kept trying to reach for you, but you swatted his hands away every time he managed to get a hold of you, ignoring his pout and puppy eyes.

You got out of the bed, out of reach from a now sulking Murphy, but you leaned closer to kiss his lips. You weren’t mad and you didn’t regret what had happened between you two, and you didn’t want Murphy maybe thinking so, but when he wrapped his arms around you and tried to pull you into the bed again, you pulled away, breaking free from his hold, pecking his pouty lips once before you turned around.

“I’m going to get some coffee ready,” you announced heading to the kitchen area.

With your back turned to the twins as you fumbled with their coffee pot, you heard what you thought was Murphy throwing his pillow at Connor. “Couldn’t ye wait to wake up and open yer stupid mouth?”

“The fuck did I know…” Connor huffed a complaint, throwing the pillow back at Murphy. “Didn’t expect ye both to actually get at it this mornin’...”

“Shut up you both!” You snapped without turning to look at them, truly mortified. “Please…” You sighed.

“Yeah…sorry, lass…” Connor apologized sheepishly.

You heard the rustle of the sheets and the bedsprings as one of the brothers got up, and soon, arms were sneaking around you as Murphy held you from behind, kissing your shoulder and nuzzling your head, and you couldn’t help your smile.

Murphy made you turn around so you’d be facing him while he held you, and he kept one of his arms around you but lifted his other hand to stroke your cheek softly.

“Love…don’t be mad…” He told you, looking so adorable…your smile grew wider, you weren’t mad, but you wouldn’t have lasted mad anyway if you were, not when Murphy was all sweet and cute like that.

“I’m not,” you assured him. “It’s not that.”

Murphy smiled at that, and you were sure you’d never get used to how beautiful he looked like that. He stroked your cheek again and then leaned in to kiss your lips. It started sweet and soft, but soon he was deepening the kiss, trying to back you against the kitchen counter.

“Murphy, stop.” You broke the kiss, pushing him away with your hands on his chest. “Seriously, not with your brother here…” You chided him again, and he pouted but nodded.

You glanced at Connor…he was getting up from the bed, heading to the toilet without paying you or his brother any mind, as if he really didn’t care that you were right there while he used the toilet, or that his brother was trying to make out with you on the kitchen counter…this two were incorrigible.

You looked at Murphy again, placing your hands on his waist but still keeping him at distance so he wouldn’t get any ideas.

“So…I was thinking…do you think you could manage to stay away from your brother just enough to walk me to my place later today?” You half-joked. “Just you and me?”

Murphy glanced towards his brother, and for a second, you wondered if he may say no, but then he looked at you and nodded, a smile lighting his face in that beautiful way that took your breath, and you couldn’t help but kiss his lips again.

***

N/A

If you liked this, comments and reblogs mean the world.

As always, excuse my English, it’s not my first language.

This post is queued, I’ll add the taglist as soon as I’m actually online.

#murphy macmanus #murphy macmanus x reader #murphy macmanus/reader #murphy macmanus fanfiction #murphy macmanus fanfic #murphy macmanus fic #murphy macmanus imagine #murphy macmanus & reader

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loserassacenekid · 8 months

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rules for my writing >_<

HII okay i wanna start this off by saying my grammar is shit and I chose not to fix it cs I’m lazy:3 mainly the first people to read my fics are my friends(≧∀≦)

I mainly only do transmasc reader BECAUSE there’s not enough on here:(((also mainly only male characters..)

:♡.•♬✧⁽⁽ଘ( ˊᵕˋ )ଓ⁾⁾*+:•*∴♡⑅*˖•. ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .•˖*⑅♡ fandoms i write for

the walking dead:

Daryl Dixon

Carl aged(aged up)

rick grimes

Shane Walsh (..maybe..)

Glenn rhee!!

Negan smith(..maybe)

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

Heathers! jason Dean!

✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮✮

dear Evan Hansen

Connor Murphy!

evan Hansen!

(No I will not do Connor x evan unless I feel like it.)

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ The girl next door

klitz

eli

klitz + eli

✩.･*:｡≻───── ⋆♡⋆ ─────.•*:｡✩

actors

Mike faist<3

Norman reedus

Andrew Lincoln

chandler riggs(aged up ofc.)

Jeffery dean Morgan

(+ more!!)

✧❁❁❁✧✿✿✿✧❁❁❁✧✧❁❁❁✧✿✿✿✧❁❁❁✧

OKAY FR RULES!!

Do’s:

character x transmasc reader, character x me reader , character x oc!!

smut!★

angst (not good at it)✿

fluff! ☾

AGED UP CHARACTERS :3

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Maybe’s!!:

Female reader x character,any female character x female reader(no I’m not against lesbians I love you guys just not good at writing it:(()

dead dove! Do not eat!

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

NEVER UNLESS I SAY SO:

sibling x sibling reader(not even step sibling)

older character x MINOR READER( reader will always be 27-28 if it’s an older character.)

STEP DAD/MOM X KID!!(NO NO NO EW:(()

I CANT think of much now but if I remember I will add in that’s all byyeee!!

#Writing rules #rules #HP #Hii:3 #Pls give this attention bordem is killing me #Shifting #shfitngreakiry #Dr #shifting #wowiwiwifanfix writer #OMG SMUT?!?!

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i-also-miss-our-talks · 7 years

Text

Stoned ~ Connor Murphy x Reader

Requested by Anonymous: I remember reading the beauty and the beast au on here, and I loved it. Could you do a Connor x Reader based on Tangled?

Here it is! Finally! I really hope you like it! Also, the title is a play on words, I guess. Because Rapunzel’s hair can get Tangled, so I thought Connor can get Stoned, you know? Anyways;

WC: 3,036

Warning: Swearing, Weed, Shitty writing, Jokes only I find funny

Masterlist

I tried to make it gender neutral! If you find a male or female pronoun for Y/N, please let me know and I’ll change it ASAP!

This is the story of how I died.

Connor, you didn’t die. Not even close.

But the ending is so bizarre it kinda felt like I died and went to a whole other shitty dimension.

Yeah, this definitely ends weird, but you didn’t die. Just tell the story, okay?

Okay, okay!

—

“Alone at last,” Connor whispered to himself as he shut the door to one of the music hall’s sound rooms. He was about to take the weed out of his pocket when a sharp scream pierced his ears. “What the fuck?!” Connor turned around to see you sitting at the piano for just a second before you threw your physics textbook at his head, proceeding to knock him out and fall against the floor.

It took you a few moments to figure out what you had just done to the poor man. But when you did, you quickly got up and locked the door. “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, he’s gonna kill me,” you whispered as you picked up your book. You ran a hand through your hair, trying to figure out what to do.

Connor stirred a bit. You gasped and hit him with your book again. “Y/N! You idiot! You hit him again,” you yelled at yourself and put the book in your bag. You grab Connor and pulled him into a chair. Carefully, you check his pockets to see if he had a water bottle, hoping to splash a bit on his face to wake him up. Instead, your fingers brushed against a plastic bag. You take the bag out of his pocket and widened your eyes at the sight of weed.

Knock, knock

“Y/N? Can you unlock the door? I need to talk with you,” Ms. DeVerre, your choir teacher, said.

You gulped. You tossed the bag of weed into the top of the piano. You pushed Connor and his chair behind the piano and put his hood over his head. You straightened out your hair and opened the door. “Hi, Ms. DeVerre.”

The teacher smiled and walked inside the room. “Hello, Y/N. How’s your vocal practice going?”

“Good, I think. I’ve been practicing really hard,” you smiled. “So, I was wondering, maybe I could skip the rest of practice? I think having two periods of practice along with my lunch is more than enough.”

Ms. DeVerre shook her head. “No. You know what your mother wants. Continue practicing. I’m running out to get some lunch. We’re having Panera! Do you just want your usual?”

You sighed and nodded. “Yeah.”

“Good! I’ll see you later.” And with that, Ms. DeVerre left the room, closing the door behind her.

You quickly locked it before dragging Connor back out. Taking the hood off his head, you continued your search for a water bottle. Luckily, you found one in his bag. You poured a bit into the palm of your hand and splashed it on his face. The boy immediately woke up.

“What? Where am I?” Connor questioned, looking around frantically till he saw you. His eye’s narrowed. “You,” he hissed and stood up, towering over you. “You threw a fucking book at me!”

You nodded. “It was just a reaction! I got scared! I didn’t mean to knock you out!”

“But you fucking did! All I wanted was a space alone and instead I got a book chucked at me!” Connor yelled. Thankfully, the sound room was built so that people outside couldn’t hear what was happening inside. Connor reached into his pocket and widened his eyes when he didn’t feel the plastic bag. “Where is it?”

“Where’s what?” you asked, trying not to look at the piano.

“Where’s my weed?” Connor growled.

“I…I hid it!” You smirked and crossed your arms over your chest, a plan forming in your mind. “I hid somewhere you’ll never find it! Unless, you want to help me with something. Then I can tell you where it is…?”

Connor frowned. “Connor. Connor Murphy. And what might this ‘something’ be?”

You smiled. “Get me out of here. It’s my dream to be out of here! I don’t care where as long as it’s not this sound room. I’ve been in here for so long!”

The long-haired boy laughed. “Yeah, no. I’m not about to break someone out of a sound room which they can just easily walk out of.”

“You don’t understand, it’s a prison. I can’t just leave!”

“Why not?”

“I…well…I can’t tell you. But if you get me out of here, take me anywhere that’s not here, I’ll give you your weed back. Deal?” You held out your hand.

Connor raised an eyebrow at your hand. “So…I just take you away from here and I’ll get my weed? Really?”

“I promise!”

Connor rolled his eyes.

You frowned. “And when I promise something, I never break that promise. Ever.”

The boy sighed and shook your hand lazily. “Fine. It’s a fucking deal.”

Connor started walking down the hallway. “Are you fucking coming or not?”

You gulped and looked down both sides of the hall. “Are you sure she wont see me?” You quickly felt the front pocket of your backpack to see if the bag of weed was still in there.

“Listen, Whitney Houston, I’m the master of stealth. She’s not gonna see you as long as you’re with me,” Connor said and leaned against the wall.

You frowned. “I’m not Whitney Houston. I’m Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Yeah, whatever. I don’t really give a shit who you are. I just want my weed back.”

Slowly, you stepped out the door, clutching your backpack strap. You took a few shaking steps out into the hallway before you burst out grinning. “Oh my gosh! This is amazing! But, Ms. DeVerre and Mom would be so mad.”

Connor raised an eyebrow as you started ranting to yourself and run around the school.

“But, I mean, they’re not gonna know so it’s not gonna matter, right? Oh no, I’m gonna be in so much trouble! But this is so fun! I’m such a horrible child, I’ll just head back. I’m never going back! I’m a despicable human being! Woo hoo! Best! Day! Ever!”

Finally, Connor found you sitting in the library behind a shelf of books. He sat next to you as you sobbed into your knees. “You know, I’m not quite sure what I just witnessed, but it’s one of the saddest fucking things I’ve ever seen.”

You sniffed and looked up at him. “W-what?”

“Now, I’m just trying to pick up on bits and pieces, but this seems like some serious stuff. Maybe you should just head back to the sound room.”

You shook your head as Connor pulled you to your feet. “B-but the deal-“

“Look, if you’re not feeling good about this we’ll just call off the deal. I’ll take you back to the room, you give me my weed, and we pretend like we’ve never met before,” Connor smirked and started dragging you back.

“N-no!” You wiggled out of his grasp. “I’m not going back! I can’t spend another day in there!”

“Oh, come on! You obviously don’t feel comfortable walking around during normal school hours! Just fucking give up!”

“I’m not gonna give up! I’m tired of being locked in there! I-“ You were cut off by the bell ringing, signaling the end of third period. You felt the ground begin to shake. “Uh, Connor? What’s going on?”

Connor frowned. “Passing time.”

You gulped and grabbed Connor’s arm, clinging to it as students flooded the hallways. “What do we do?”

“You run. We wont make it if you don’t run,” Connor said and started running through the busy students, pulling you along.

You tried to keep up, but there were just so many people it was making if difficult to hang onto him. You lost your grip on his arm and felt the students pull you towards the opposite direction. “Connor! Help me!”

The tall boy turned around and grabbed your hand, pulling you both against the hallway wall. He scowled. “This is it, then. There’s no way we can get through them if we’re pinned up like this.”

Sighing, you squeezed Connor’s hand. “I’m sorry I got you in this mess. I’m really, really sorry, Connor.”

Connor sighed. “It’s…It’s okay, Whitney Houston. But, in case something happens, you should know I’m not a school shooter. People just assume I am but I’m fucking not. Someone might as well know.”

You smiled. “Well, I…I have magic hair that glows when I sing.”

Connor’s eyes widened. “Wait what? Are you fucking serious?”

You giggled. “Nope. I just wanted to see your reaction. I actually can’t sing very well. My Mom and her best friend, Ms. DeVerre keep me locked in the sound room, thinking that if I practice enough, my voice will get better and I can make it to Broadway.”

The boy rolled his eyes. “You’re Mom sounds like an ass.”

“Kinda. But she’s still my Mom,” you shrugged and heard the bell go off again. Within a matter of seconds, the hallway cleared, leaving you and Connor alone.

“Well, guess I’m late for class again. Lucky me. You coming?” Connor asked, adjusting the strap on his bag.

You gasped. “I can go to class with you?! Really?!”

Connor rolled his eyes. “Not if you act like that you can’t.”

Nodding, you took a deep breath and calmed down. “Right. Of course. I’ll be calm, I promise.” You skipped along beside him as he trudged to class. “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe this is happening! My dream is becoming reality!” You looked over at Connor. “What about you?”

Connor glared at you. “What the fuck about me?”

“What’s your dream, Connor?”

The boy let out a low laugh. “My dream is to get my fucking weed back.”

You shrugged. “A dream’s a dream, I guess.”

“Y/N, what happened to being calm?”

“Sorry, Connor! It’s just I’m normally locked in the sound room during this hour so I don’t know what people actually do,” you explained, sitting next to him in the back corner of the room, bouncing in your seat. Connor’s class had a sub so he didn’t notice you weren’t a normal student.

“People just shut up and sleep in English. So, you should do the same,” Connor muttered before folding his arms and laying his head on his forearms.

You nodded. “Alright. Okay. I can do this,” you whispered and did as Connor instructed. Before you knew it, you both had fallen asleep.

You woke up by someone lightly shaking your shoulder. “Hey, Whitney Houston. Time to wake the fuck up. School’s over,” Connor yawned. Stretching, you grabbed your bag and followed Connor out the door. He began walking back towards the music hall before you grabbed his arm. “What the hell?”

“I’m not going back there today. Unless you don’t want your weed?” You smirked as Connor rolled his eyes.

“Fine. We have two hours in the city and then I drop you off at home. Got it?” Connor said, walking outside to his beat up truck.

You nodded and skipped next to him. “Got it!” Your smile brightened as you sat in his car. Your dream was finally coming true! You were going somewhere outside of school after school!

Connor started the car and drove off to downtown. He parked his car in the back lot of a Target. “Alright. Two hours. That’s it,” he reminded you before getting out of the car.

Two hours had quickly turned into six, as you two were prancing around the town. Connor first took you to a small cafe to get a snack, but you ended up meeting a bunch of people from school. So Connor hid off to the side, watching you. If he was being honest, it was pretty cute watching your face light up as you talked with your new friends. You two left after a while and walked around. You found a small thrift store and dragged Connor inside. Both of you played a game where you had to make the ugliest outfit. Whoever lost had to wear the outfit for the next round. You two got kicked out for being to loud as you laughed your asses off.

Connor was surprised. He was never this happy to hang with someone, let alone laugh and smile with them. But something about you just brought out the good in him. He didn’t know why, but he wanted to stay with you longer. His weed was no longer a necessity. Connor had a new dream.

After a few more hours of running around town, you two grabbed some Slurpees and went back to Connors truck. You climbed into the back seat and took a sip of your drink as Connor climbed in next to you. The sun had set so you two sat staring up at the stars. You gripped your cup tightly.

“Hey,” Connor said, looking over at you. “You okay?”

“I…don’t know,” you answered. “It’s just…I’ve been stuck practicing in that sound room after school for four years,” you sighed, looking over at him, “dreaming of what it would feel like, just spending a normal afternoon as a teenager. And it was everything I dreamed of and more!”

Connor smiled. “So, what’s the problem?”

“What do I do now?”

“Well, that’s the fun part, I guess. You get to go find a new dream,” Connor said.

You smiled and looked back up at the sky, widening your eyes as a shooting star flew by. “Whoa,” you whispered.

Connor smiled, his eyes stuck on you. “Yeah, whoa.”

You gasped. “Oh! I have something for you!” You jumped out of the trunk and ran to the passenger side. Flinging the door open, you rummaged through the front pocket of your backpack for the plastic bag. You grabbed it, shut the door, and climbed back into the trunk. “Here. This is for you. A deal’s a deal, right?”

Connor shook his head and grabbed the bag, tossing it over his shoulder. “You know what? I can just get some more fucking weed later,” he said. Connor grabbed your hand and looked at you, setting down his Slurpee.

Your eyes widened and you felt your heart rate pick up. “Connor?”

The boy cupped your cheek before leaning forward, stopping just an inch away from your lips.

You smiled and leaned forward, connecting your lips. The kiss was The Three S’s; soft, sweet, and short. Before you knew it, Connor had pulled away. You whimpered softly at the loss of his touch, but leaned back a bit. You licked your lips, tasting his cherry Slurpee that lingered there.

Connor stared at you before coughing awkwardly. “Well, I, uh, guess it’s time to drive you back to your shitty home, huh?”

You nodded and grabbed your drink, hopping out of the trunk and climbing into the passenger seat.

The ride back was silent except for the sound of Connor brushing his thumb over the top of your intertwined hands.

The next day, your Mom came to school with you, making sure you were in the sound room before leaving.

“No! Ms. DeVerre please don’t make me stay in here! I don’t want to go to Broadway now! I just want to be normal,” you begged, banging on the door, though you knew no one could hear you.

You sighed and sat against the back wall, tucking your legs into your chest. “Connor, please. If you can hear me, come save me again,” you whispered.

There was a single knock on the door before your Mom’s friend walked in. “Y/N, you need to start practicing! You’re never gonna make it to Broadway if you’re not practicing twenty-four seven,” Ms. DeVerre said.

You frowned and pulled your knees closer. “I’m not singing. I’m not going to Broadway. Well, not right now, at least. I just want to be a normal teenager.” Just then, the door flew open, reveling a tired Connor Murphy. “Y/N!”

You smiled brightly. “Connor!” You tried to run to him, but Ms. DeVerre grabbed your arm. “Let go of me!”

The choir teacher frowned. “Y/N, this is not an option. You’re leaving for an audition tonight so get practicing.”

“No!” You struggled to break free of her grasp. You looked to Connor, your face asking for help. He nodded and ran off. “What the fuck, Connor?!”

“Y/N! Stop fighting me,” Ms. DeVerre yelled.

“No! I wont stop! You and Mom have kept me locked up in here for too long! So every minute for the rest of my life I will fight!” You finally ripped your arm out of her grasp. “You two can’t control me!”

“Y/N!” You turned around and saw Connor run through the door. He grabbed you and pulled you to the side as the Principal and two teachers ran into the room. Connor hugged you as you two watched Ms. DeVerre get escorted out of the room by the adults. You look up at him in confusion. “Your Mom and Ms. DeVerre keeping you here and forcing you to fucking sing is technically Child Abuse. Weird, but true. I don’t make the fucking rules. So you’re free, I guess.”

You smiled and hugged him tightly. “Thank you, Connor.”

Connor kissed the top of you’re head. “Yeah, whatever. Hey, Y/N?”

“Hmm?”

Connor sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “This is gonna sound so fucking cheesy, but…you were my new dream or whatever.”

You giggled. “And you were mine, Connor.”

Well, you can imagine what happened next. Y/N enrolled in school full time and somehow managed to get most classes with me. To be honest, it can be really fucking annoying sometimes.

Connor.

Okay, okay. It really never gets old. And I may have paid Kleinman to hack into Y/N’s schedule so that most classes were with me.

And we lived happily ever after!

Wow, that escalated pretty fucking quickly.

You’re not denying it.

That’s cause it’s true.

#deh #dear evan hansen #connor murphy #connor #tangled #tangled au #deh x reader #dear evan hansen x reader #connor murphy x reader #deh x male!reader #deh x female!reader #dear evan hansen x male!reader #dear evan hansen x female!reader #connor x reader #connor murphy x male!reader #connor murphy x female!reader #i-also-write

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n1ghtlux · 3 years

Text

Stuck in between P1 [ao3]

Pairing: ghost!Connor Murphy x gn!ghost!Reader

Word count: 815

Summary: when you find yourself stuck in the afterlife you meet Connor Murphy, who's been here for longer than you have.

Warnings: some angst, reader has anxiety and other mental health issues, talking about weed and mentioning readers death briefly.

A/N: please do NOT romanticize death! You're needed and loved. If you need help, look at this post.

gif

To think you would be remembered as some "druggie who crashed their car" was beyond anything you could've imagined. Though it was incredibly thoughtless of you to drive back home after smoking weed with your friends.

Not that you would ever call yourself a "druggie". You knew what you were doing and the substance helped calm your anxiety and numbed you to the point of complete relaxation.

Only this time there was no way of getting home and no way of you crashing at your ex's place either. Not when he had female company and did the:

"I think we should call it a day",

with his hand gripping a girls' thigh tightly.

You had to get home somehow, so you got into your car and drove.

Only you never made it home.

Lesson learned.

For another time.

The "afterlife" or whatever you were stuck in was confusing. There is simply too much time to spend when you're there, but not really.

Thinking was about all you could do now.

Maybe this was your own little hell. You had spent days running after people, screaming at family, friends, anyone really. Yet, despite intense emotions following up with crashed mirrors and broken plates, your presence wasn't known to anyone.

You tried blaming the tree which you crashed into for it, but ended up leaning against it and watched the world continue on without you.

"This is my tree."

Furrowing your brows you looked to your right. The habit of thinking people are talking to you getting the best of you. Except this time there was someone staring right back at you.

Not through you, no. This guy was glaring at you, hands in his sweatshirt jacket pockets and foot tapping the grass impatiently.

You were up on your feet in an instant.

"You're dead too, aren't you?!"

You hadn't talked in forever so your voice made a terrible crack at the end, causing you to crunch your nose at yourself.

"You're sitting at my tree."

His demeanor didn't change, if your people skills didn't betray you, you would even say you had made him more frustrated. Who did he think he is?- Was?

Crossing your arms you replied in a mocking tone:

"Well, I'm sorry mr. Perfect but I died here, so I'm pretty sure this is my tree too."

He scoffed at that, a soft "fuck" leaving his lips as he brushed through his shoulder length hair with his right hand.

You started picking at the skin around your nails, a habit you hadn't even gotten rid of after your death.

The guy's gaze flickered to your hands briefly, before he sighed and walked up to you.

"Connor", his voice sounded less harsh than before. Right hand extended for you to shake.

It had been weeks since you last had any human contact and now here was - you had already forgotten his name again - willing to get to know you.

But when you went to shake his hand, you found yourself grasping at nothing but cold air.

"Guess you're new huh."

It was more of a statement than a question directed at you but you didn't really register his words.

You were staring at your hand, turning it over and tracing a wound from the accident with the fingers of your left hand.

Then you curled it into a fist, nails digging into the lifeless skin and sat back down with your back against the tree.

If it was possible, you felt even more numb and dead than before.

A cold breeze made the hairs on your arms stand as Connor sat down to your right with his hands in his lap and staring up at the sky.

"You're only able to touch others if you concentrate well enough."

You were still picking at your skin when he turned to you and put his hand on your arm.

The sensation made you suck in a breath and you looked up at him, relief evident on your face. His hand felt different on your skin than you had thought it to. There was a slight tingling sensation, like he was a vibrating ball of energy. Connor didn't feel dead at all. He felt more alive than anyone you had ever met before.

The corner of his mouth tugged up lightly at the sensation and your reaction to it. At least he was able to be helpful after his death.

He removed his hand from your arm and held it infront of you again like he did before. Knowing what he wanted you to do, you carefully slipped your hand into his now.

A huge grin forming on your face when you felt a new surge of energy course through your hand as it was firmly placed in his.

"Connor." , he nodded lightly, pushing a strand of hair out of his face in the process.

"Y/n."

{ masterlist }

#connor murphy x reader #connor murphy #deh musical #deh movie #dear evan hansen #connor Murphy imagine #ghost connor Murphy #ghost reader #connor Murphy fanfic #broadway fanfiction #Broadway imagine #Connor Murphy x gn!reader #Connor Murphy x male reader #Connor Murphy x female reader

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floral-and-fine · 4 years

Text

Mo Chuisle

Murphy MacManus x female reader

Connor MacManus x female reader

*Mo Chuisle- Irish Gaelic for My Pulse

Summary: The reader cares for the MacManus twins after they return to their apartment injured

A/n: Just thought this was a cute idea. Had a lot of fun writing this fic! Hope to write more soon! Thank you @ewokiee for all the help!

Y/n bit her nail, watching the seconds slowly tick by as she waited for the MacManus brothers to return home.

Sitting on the small table in front of her were bottles of rubbing alcohol, gauze, bandages, painkillers, needle, and thread, and in the freezer were several ice packs ready to go.

Y/n never knew what kind of shape they’d be in once they were done working. So she was always prepared for the worst. She didn’t have any professional training by any means, but she had picked up some basics when she learned what the twins did.

Since then, she had sort of taken it upon herself to watch over them, at least in her own small way, doing things like taking care of their injuries, bringing them home-cooked meals, and even covering for them by being their alibi on several occasions.

Getting up, y/n started to pace, there wasn’t anything around to distract her. The brothers’ apartment was sparse, to say the least, not many belongings or furniture, just the bare minimum.

Absentmindedly, her fingers began to play with the cross hanging from her necklace, sliding it back and forth against the thin chain. She rubbed her index finger and thumb along the center, feeling the grooves and edges of the engraving.

The necklace had been a gift from the boys as a thank you after the first time she cared for them.

She laughed lightly to herself, they had been so excited to give it to her, showing up at her door first thing in the morning.

“Mornin’ love,” Connor greeted, he was full of energy, practically bouncing with excitement. While y/n was still rubbing the sleep from eyes and wondering why the hell they were here so damn early.

“We got you a little something,” Murphy explained, smiling proudly as he pulled a necklace out from his jacket pocket.

She blinked in surprise looking at the sparkling gold chain that Murphy was dangling in front of her. He dropped it in her cupped hand. She took a moment to look at it, noticing the small engraving.

Her brows furrowed, not recognizing the phrase. ‘mo chuisle’

“C’mon now,” Connor urged. “Try it on.”

Y/n struggled with the clasp, her fingers having trouble manipulating the tiny parts.

“Here, allow me,” Murphy offered.

She turned around so her back was facing him, Murphy fingers tickled her neck as he took the two ends and securely clasped the necklace.

“Looks good on ya,” Connor said approvingly as she turned and faced him.

“Thank you,” y/n replied, getting teary-eyed. “I really appreciate it, but you guys didn’t have to get me anything.”

“It was nothin’,” Murphy shrugged, tucking his hands into his pockets. “You saved our asses the other night.”

“We’re just buttering you up, hoping you’ll stick around,” Connor winked.

Since then y/n’s worn it every day. It was her connection to them, keeping them close to her heart and on her mind.

Her eyes snapped to the door when she heard footsteps approaching. Rushing to it, y/n threw the door open and breathed a sigh of relief when she saw both Connor and Murphy standing there in one piece.

Without thinking, she wrapped her arms around them but pulled back immediately when they both hissed in pain.

“Sorry,” she stammered, clutching her hands to her chest.

Getting a better look at them, y/n noticed that Murphy had a black eye that was already swelling and Connor’s lip was busted and bloody. Quickly, she ushered them inside, Murphy used Connor for support as he limped into the apartment.

Y/n instructed them both to take their seats on the couch, and grabbed an ice pack from the freezer and wrapped it in a soft hand towel.

“Here,” she muttered, gently holding the ice pack against Murphy’s face.

“Thanks, love,” Murphy smiled, his fingers grazing over the back of your hand, as he held the ice pack in place.

Snagging one of the pillows off the closest bed, y/n placed it on the edge of the coffee table. Kneeling down, she undid the laces of his boot and took it off.

“Put your foot up,” she ordered him, before wandering over to the other side of the couch.

“Yes, ma’am.”

Sitting on the table, y/n leaned forward and gently started to wipe the dry blood from Connor’s chin and bottom lip. His eyes studied her face, admiring her as she worked. She was always careful, each touch was delicate and gentle, working slowly to avoid causing them more pain.

“This is going to sting,” y/n warned, wetting a clean washcloth with rubbing alcohol. He winced as she started to apply it to his cut. Leaning in, she gently blew air against the cut to help with the pain.

“That’s better,” she murmured, now that his face wasn’t all bloodied anymore.

Connor hummed closing his eyes, “you’re too good to us, lass.”

She shook her head, “I’m happy to do it, now let me see your hand.”

He chuckled, putting his hand in both of hers. Her thumb caressed his rough and bloody knuckles before she started to clean them off.

Gently, she wrapped a bandage around Connor’s hand and replaced the cap on the rubbing alcohol, before getting up and going to the fridge.

“So what exactly happened tonight?” She questioned, pulling out a couple of beers, removed the bottle caps.

The brothers gave each other a sideways glance.

“Why don’t you start it off,” Murphy smiled, patting Connor’s chest.

Y/n handed them each a beer and gave Connor her full attention as she sat between them on the couch.

“Well…” he began, licking his lips and sighing. “It all started with us busting the door open to the warehouse. The poor fucks didn’t know what to do.”

“Yeah, Connor and I withdrew our guns, and started shooting up the place,” Murphy added, while he imitated how with both arms out as he pretended to fire imaginary guns.

“We thought we had taken care of them all,” Connor nodded, taking a sip of his beer. “until this beast of a man came hurling at us out of nowhere,” he explained. “He must’ve been at least 7 foot, a real gigantic bastard.”

“Tackled me down,” Murphy butted in. “Gave me this shiner.” He pointed to his bruised up eye.

“So that’s when I leapt onto the bastard’s back and just started wailing on him,” Connor continued. “But he wouldn’t let up. Got me good with his elbow, too.” He gestured to his lip.

“Then, I reached out grabbing a brick, and I just bashed the fucker’s head in,” Murphy emphasized the point by reenacting how.

“Yeah and as we were trying to push the dead bastard off of him, this tiny man with crazy eyes sprung out from behind the crates,” Connor lifted up his shirt a bit, revealing the massive bruise on his side. “Whacked me a good one with a wood pallet.”

Y/n winced looking at the red blotch that was already turning purple.

“And while Connor was moaning on the floor,” Murphy recalled, nudging y/n. “I wrestled that little shit down-”

“Oh come off it,” Connor interrupted. “He tripped you and you fell on top of him… Wrestled my ass… pfft.”

“I’m just glad you're both alright,” she said, patting both of their knees. “Now let’s get you, boys, to bed.”

“You’re staying the night, right?” Murphy asked as he started limping over to his bed.

“Of course I am,” she said smiling. “My work isn’t nearly done.”

Murphy smiled back, pleased that she was going to be sticking around. “We owe you one, love, drinks on us tomorrow at doc’s.” He suddenly lost his footing as the room started to spin, catching himself on the edge of the bed.

“Murphy,” y/n rushed over to his side, and Connor right behind her.

“Shit,” he muttered, rubbing his head. “My head is fucking killing me.”

Connor and y/n helped Murphy into his bed. Y/n sat next to him, gently stroking his hair back.

“I think he might have a concussion,” she explained.

“What?” Connor’s face fell. “Really?”

Y/n looked at him and nodded.

“Fuck,” he sighed, kneeling beside Murphy’s bed. “Sorry about that.”

Murphy snorted, “will you two get ahold of yourselves! I’m not dying!” He sat up a little. “Hell, you’re making a bigger deal of this than the time I was shot!”

“Hey, we both got shot that day,” Connor argued.

Y/n laughed, “I recall being just as worried then as I am right now! I worry about the two of you every day.”

They both looked up at her with puppy dog eyes, “Sorry, we don’t mean to make you worry.”

“It’s alright,” she kissed Murphy on the forehead, then Connor. “At least I get to help.” Getting up, she wandered over to the table and started cleaning up.

Once she was out of earshot, Murphy leaned in closer to Connor. “I’ll be getting you back for this,” he whispered, looking Connor right in the eye.

Connor rolled his eyes, “please, you’re loving all this attention.”

…

Earlier that night…

Once the dust had settled, both Connor and Murphy simultaneously started to check themselves for injuries.

The scene around them looked as though a tornado made of bullets had swept through. Several Bodies were lying dead on the floor in puddles of their own blood. Guns were scattered on the ground along with empty bullet shells.

“You alright?” Connor asked, patting his chest and arms checking for any wounds.

“Yeah, I think so,” Murphy replied, extending arms out and examining himself carefully. There wasn’t a single scratch anywhere. “You?”

“I’m… good,” Connor said clearly surprised but pleased.

Both of them were wondering the same thing, how the hell did they survive that mess? They both turned around and looked behind them, the wall was littered with bullet holes, probably about a hundred of them.

Connor started to laugh, causing Murphy to laugh as well. “How the fuck did we survive that?” He breathed gesturing to the wall.

“Hell if I know,” Murphy sighed, crouching down and resting his elbows on his knees. “They must’ve unloaded every single round they had between them.”

“Even by chance one of us should’ve been hit,” Connor reasoned. Usually, by the end of the night, they’d both be a little scuffed up at least.

Murphy shrugged, “Guess we oughta be leaving.”

Connor narrowed his eyes as something dawned on him, and grabbed his brother’s arm. “Hit me.”

“What?” Murphy asked, backing away.

“Hit me,” Connor repeated.

Murphy furrowed his brow, “What for?”

Connor smirked. “Would be a shame if y/n ended up leaving early for the night,” he explained. “Should at least make her feel like she’s needed.”

Neither brother would ever admit it out loud, but they were rather fond of y/n’s doting, like how she’d fuss over every little cut, and catered to them, not letting either brother lift a finger while she was around. Sometimes, she would even go as far as spending the night and even the next day with them, if necessary. Those were the best days, getting to have her all to themselves for the whole day.

Murphy chuckled, “Ah, I see now, so we’re doing this for her sake?”

“Exactly,” Connor winked, clapping his brother’s shoulder.

“We do owe it to her,” Murphy nodded. “Wouldn’t want her feeling like she’s wasted her time.”

Connor took a step back and braced himself. Without hesitation, Murphy’s fist connected to his jaw successfully busting his lip. Connor stumbled back, and shook his head, spitting out a bit of blood.

“Alright,” Connor smiled, wiping his chin with his sleeve. “Your turn.”

#the boondock saints #boondock saints #connor macmanus #murphy macmanus #the boondock saints fanfic #connor macmanus x reader #murphy macmanus x reader #connor macmanus fanfic #murphy macmanus fanfic #reader insert #Female reader #norman reedus fanfiction

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luviedovey · 5 years

Text

Masterlist! 💌🌿🎞

2019-2020 Masterlist

credit to whoever or wherever this gif came from,, i got it off of GIPHY bc i thought it was cute lol

fluff 💗 // angst 💢

Marvel

— peter parker x reader —

“I was blind” series 💢 | pt.1 | pt.2 | pt.3

— tony stark x daughter!reader —

the guardian angel x 💗

Broadway

dear evan hansen

— connor murphy x reader —

the you i fell in love with x 💢

#marvel #peter x y/n #peter parker x female!reader #peter parker #peter parker x reader #spiderman #iron man #tony stark x daughter!reader #tony stark #tony stank #mcu #masterlist #connor murphy #connor murphy x reader #mike faist #dear evan hansen #dear evan hansen x reader #broadway

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write-bout-idiots · 7 years

Text

Cuddling with Alana Headcanons

I’m writing every day the last week of the year: DAY SIX.

Day one: Christmas surprise; Jack Kelly.

Day two: La isla.

Day three: Writer!Evan Headcanons.

Day four: Writer!Evan Headcanons part 2.

Day five: Dating Jack Kelly Headcanons.

A/N: You could say this was @hey-manhattan-the-calvarys-comin‘s suggestion, so thank you so much i loved to write this! She also edited it and she’s amazing ily nina!!

• When you were just friends™ you always told her how you would like to have someone to cuddle with, so when you started dating she wanted to do it all the time.

• And you’re not mad because it distracted her from school.

• She texted you when she started studying and if she didn’t stop in four hours you will call and ask for a cuddle.

• She’d be at your place in no time.

• You know, Alana is tiny and demanding so she’s the little spoon that cuddles face to face.

• She left the Saturday’s for you two to hang out without any other responsibility, and even though she loves being outside, you always end up back on the couch cuddling.

• You always hold her hand.

• You like to snuggle in her neck, humming songs to make her laugh.

• Her hair always smells good and her skin is super smooth which means sometimes you can’t hold back soft bites. (It’s not like she minds or cares)

• She always plays with your hair and it entangles but she brushes it afterwards.

• She learned to enjoy the winter holidays by having constant movie nights, watching rom-coms under a blanket, and drinking warm drinks and eating sweets

• You always have a lot of food on the movie nights and it’s weird because you won’t pull off from the hug and end up eating over each other’s shoulder

• It’s very messy. (Again, not like you or her cares)

• Usually you pull up her shirt a little bit to trace stars on her hips and that makes her sleepy.

• One time you and she fell asleep like this in an empty, extracurricular room at school and Zoe came in and took a lot of pictures to make you mad.

• But you ended up even framing one of them and putting it up in your apartment when you moved together.

• Alana discovered that she loves pda, it makes her feel safe and you love to see her happy.

• So you always hug her from behind, hold hands and kiss her cheek every time she says something smart (she’s smart all the time so she’s always getting smooches in public)

• Once Zoe and Evan joined one of your cuddle sessions and now every time they see you two together the just jump in the hug.

• You don’t really mind because Alana loves the attention and affection

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theteasetwrites · 2 years

Text

Thy Saints Surrounded

Chapter 8: Too Close to Home

❧ Pairing: Murphy MacManus x Female Reader ❧ Pronouns: she/her ❧ Warnings: swearing, mentions of traumatic experience and gore ❧ Word Count: 7.1k

❧ In This Chapter: Murphy is on a mission to solve a mystery, and to put an end to the mob violence that's somehow made its way into his life. Meanwhile, you learn something new about Murphy and Connor's past, something that hits close to home.

❧ A/N: I am so embarrassed at how long it takes me to write these lol. Sorry. Also this isn't the best chapter. It's kind of short on Murphy and Reader content, but I tried. It's more plot than anything I think. At least there are a few cute moments between them. And I really wanted to add some backstory with Murphy and Connor to explain why they hate the mob and organized crime. I feel like it gives more context and helps justify their actions in the movie. Enjoy!

A series of impatient knocks on the door was the last thing you expected to wake you that morning, just hours after waking up on top of a bar, wrapped in the arms of Murphy.

Murphy, who was outside the front door of your apartment, bickering with his brother. The muffled sounds of their arguing voices grew louder as your bare feet moved against the cool hardwood floor.

You couldn’t quite hear them in your tired state, only a few words stood out—something about “get yourself killed” and “I can handle it,” with mentions of Rocco and Tony and your name thrown in.

The twins looked slightly fisheyed through the peephole, or maybe it was your blurred vision from your eyes still struggling to wake. Either way, they were obscured.

You quickly rubbed your eyes and shook your head, and ran your fingers through your messy bedhead to fix it. You were just about to unlock the door when you realized you were in only a nightshirt and panties, so you scrambled to the bathroom to locate your robe.

“Are you in there, lass?” Murphy called out, pounding on the door again. “I gotta see ya.”

Oh, you thought to yourself, smiling at your blushing reflection in the bathroom mirror as you fixed your hair once again. He’s insatiable…

“Coming!”

When you opened the door, you weren’t expecting him to lunge at you, reaching out to cup your cheeks in his hands as Connor stepped in behind him.

His eyes roamed all over your face, as if trying to make sure you were really there. “Thank God, you’re all right,” he sighed.

You furrowed your brows and laughed. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Murphy’s got a big theory,” Connor replied, moving his hands around whimsically as he rolled his eyes.

“Whoa,” you said. Your attention immediately turned from Murphy to Connor, who looked like he’d just fallen down a flight of stairs. “What happened to you?”

Murphy grabbed your shoulders to turn your gaze back to him, partly to shield your eyes from Connor’s gruesome state, and partly just to look into your eyes one more time.

“He’s fine,” he said. “Just, uh… We were wrestling.”

“What?” piped Connor.

Murphy shot a stern look over your shoulder at his twin. “Yeah… I won. Poor guy, he didn’t stand a chance.”

Connor’s competitive nature kicked in, though he tried to stick to the story. “No way, I won, shithead.”

“Don’t be a sore loser, Con.” He looked back to you, smirking in pride at the made up victory. “Tried to go easy on him, lass, but I guess I didn’t know my own strength.”

Charm seemed to exude from the man with every word on his lips, which looked particularly soft and pink this morning, not long after you’d met them with yours. You couldn’t help but shrug bashfully, and smile not only with your lips, but your hazy, half-lidded eyes.

“You’re so tough,” you said.

Connor moved to stand beside you, alerting you to his presence. Murphy seemed to command your attention, but Connor was resting his hand on your shoulder, slightly tugging you away.

“Don’t listen to a word he says, lass. I won fair and square.”

You found that hard to believe, considering how mauled Connor looked. Now that you thought about, and weren’t being charmed by Murphy’s silver tongue, you figured it was unlikely such bruises and cuts resulted from a playful wrestling match between brothers. No, there was something they weren’t telling you.

“What are you guys doing here, anyway?”

The brothers exchanged a look as they tried to keep cool. “Well, uh… I just missed you, mo shíorghrá. Is that so hard to believe?” Indeed, he did miss you, even during the two hours or so he’d been away from you, but his true intention was to make sure you hadn’t been hurt by Tony, who seemed to be on some kind of rampage.

You tilted your head and fluttered your eyelashes at the thought, and the sweet new pet name he seemed intent on making a habit. “Oh, I missed you too, Murph.”

When his lips met yours, you heard Connor groan as he slipped into the bathroom, a bit of privacy for which you were thankful.

Though his kiss was at first chaste, you trapped him in your embrace by wrapping your arms tight around the back of his neck, causing him to gasp in adorable surprise.

His tongue dared to breach the entrance of your mouth, and soon you felt his hands undoing the belt of your robe. His fingers deftly tickled your skin as he lifted your shirt just enough to cup your mound over your panties. Even angels couldn’t make the sound that came out of your mouth—a sweet, breathy gasp.

“You sure you just came here because you missed me?” you asked.

He smirked devilishly. For such a sweet man, he had such an impish look about him, like he was always about to cause some kind of mischief. Those cunning blue eyes of his, narrower in the inner corner and slightly hooded and deep set, were always accompanied by a little sparkle of playful wit. His hand seemed glued to your body as it gently rubbed up and down the soft warmth of your mound.

“Well, I guess maybe I was havin’ some dirty thoughts…” He kissed you. “Maybe I couldn’t wait to see you tonight…” He kissed you again, longer this time. “Maybe I just needed to feel you, lass… Do you wanna hear my dirty thoughts?” The hand on your lower back slid down to squeeze the flesh of your bottom, a movement which made you squeal into his mouth at the sudden feeling.

“Murphy,” you laughed, tugging his hands from you before retying your robe. “Your brother’s here… Actually, um, why is he here?”

You had no intention to sound rude, or as though you didn’t like Connor, but you were confused, to say the least. Why would Murphy show up just a few hours after you last saw him with his beaten and battered twin brother in tow? And you knew he hadn’t sustained his injuries for wrestling. From what you knew of Murphy, he could never hurt anyone like that, especially not Connor.

“Oh,” he said. Now he’d have to explain himself. He’d have to explain how he was on the hunt for Tony, who’d beaten his brother as he walked home last night from McGinty’s. He’d have to explain that he was on his way to get to the bottom of Shannon’s murder, and to make sure hers was the last.

“Well, I, uh… Listen, love, something happened last night after Connor left the bar. I didn’t wanna tell ya ‘cause I thought it might upset you, but maybe you should know. Tony and his mates beat up Connor.”

You stepped back and out of his arms, terrified at the thought and wracking your brain to figure out how such a thing could happen. You knew Tony wasn’t a good guy, but you didn’t think he’d go that far to hurt the brothers.

“What? Why?”

Asking “why” seemed pointless, as there was certainly not a rhyme or reason, but it was simply a knee-jerk reaction. Why would anyone beat another person? Especially someone like Connor, who might’ve been a little drunk last night, but from what you knew of him, he was a good person.

Murphy moved towards you to take your trembling hands in his. He could feel your anxiety vibrating all around him, until he held you once again.

“He’s just a bad guy,” he said softly. “He hurts people. You know, I… I think he might’ve had something to do with Shannon. And… I was worried he’d try to hurt you, too.”

“Oh, Murphy,” you sighed, a little too dreamily considering the conversation. Still, you couldn’t quite help it. He could charm you with nothing more than a whisper on his breath, a faint sound that might go unnoticed if you didn’t hang on for dear life to every word he said. “I’m fine. It’s you and Connor I’m worried about… So, are you going to go to the police?”

Police? he thought. Why the hell would I do a thing like that?

“Not if I want something done about it,” he said. “Only thing police are good for is standing around doing nothing while guys like Tony get away with murder. It’s not gonna happen no more.”

Your eyes widened at that. How on Earth was he going to handle this by himself? It’d only cause more problems, you were sure. “What are you going to do?”

In truth, he didn’t have much of a plan. Connor was the one to figure out plans, not Murphy—he was much too impatient for the act of sitting around and planning. No, he needed action. Doing before thinking.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said. “Just gonna smooth things over. I got a plan.” Well, he didn’t, really. He looked between you and the bathroom door, biting his lip as he thought. At least he was used to thinking on his feet. “It all right if Connor stays here for a little while?” Confusion washed over your face. “I mean, I would rather you weren’t alone, you know? And he should rest or something.”

Connor must’ve heard Murphy’s words, as he quickly bursted out of the bathroom, still buttoning his jeans. “Nah,” he said. “No way. I’m going with you. Ain’t stayin’ here. No offense.”

“Connor,” said Murphy with a point of his finger. “You’re stayin’ here.” His gaze softened as he looked at you, biting his lip and squeezing your hand. Even if he hadn’t said he loved you last night, you were sure you’d be able to tell just by that look he was giving you. Murphy wore his heart on his sleeve, and you were beginning to see that more and more. “I don’t want (Y/N) to be alone.”

Connor scoffed, and gestured his hands emphatically as he spoke. “Aw, come on, she’s fine. Just lock the door, lass. We’ll deal with Tony.”

“I’ll deal with him,” replied Murphy.

“Aw, you’re such a fuckin’ gobshite! Look what happened to me!” His finger traced a circle in the air around his face. “You think you stand a better chance?”

“I’ll figure it out!” Murphy barked back.

“Oh, right, like you ever figure anything out for yourself! I’m the one who figures shit out, Murph! Me!”

The two brothers got a little too close for your liking, with their noses coming dangerously close to hitting each other as their chests puffed in a display of ridiculous aggression.

Incoherent bickering ensued, their voices and increasingly thick accents blending into one cacophony of curses until your voice cut through, albeit with some effort. Those boys could be loud when they wanted to be.

“Hey!” you said. “What the hell?” Connor and Murphy looked between you and each other in confusion. “Why don’t you both leave if you’re gonna act like this. How old are you?”

“Twenty-seven,” both brothers answered in their strange twin unison.

“Well, act like it!”

Connor shook his head as he realized his bickering and arguing would never stop Murphy from doing what he felt he needed to do, but the question was: could he let his twin risk his life just because of some stupid fight?

“You’re gonna be smart, right?” he asked. “None of this impulsive Murphy shit. You go find Rocco… Get him to help ya. No violence. No one gets hurt.” For now. He didn’t need to say it, his eyes communicated those two words just fine, and Murphy understood. He nodded slowly, eyes on the floor as he went through twenty different variations of plans inside his rattled head. It wasn’t often he dealt with situations on his own like this, not without Connor, his guide.

“It’ll be fine. Just gonna sort this out. Get to the bottom of things.”

“Right,” scoffed Connor. “Detective Murph on the case. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.”

You saw Murphy out the front door, while Connor made himself quite comfortable on the sofa, already being inspected by the curious Mimsy.

Worry seemed to overcome the dark-haired twin, whose hands cupped your cheeks and whose downturned eyelashes fluttered as he scanned your face, hardwiring it to his memory. Even another few hours apart from you might ruin him. A taste of Heaven was not enough, not when a whole world of bliss and unearthly pleasure was right in front of him, leaning into his soft palm with the plump, warm cheeks of an angel.

“I still think you should go to the police,” you said, trailing your hands up and down his wrists as he held your face. “Let them deal with it. I know you’re angry about them hurting Connor, but… I just couldn’t stand it if something happened to you.”

He huffed and shook his head. Sweet cherub, he thought. I love this girl.

“Nothin’s gonna happen to me, m'aingeal. I know what I’m doing. I might be a fool but I’m not an eejit.”

You snorted and rolled your eyes. How could he be so damn adorable, with those shiny, crisp blue eyes and those short, jagged dark brown locks pointing every which way on his head… There was no way he was human. He had to be some kind of impish creature sent to Earth just to toy with you, to challenge your ability to stay focused on anything but loving a man. It was difficult. You were head over heels. You were head over heels for this man, one man. One terribly cute man.

“What’s the difference between a fool and an… eejit?”

Murphy let out a boyish giggle at the sound of the foreign word in your American accent, the one he found so delightfully cute.

He smiled and laced his hands around your back to pull you closer, until he could rest a kiss upon your forehead. “An eejit does stupid shit because he’s stupid,” he said. “A fool does stupid shit because he’s in love.”

“In love?” you asked, a giggle springing up like a daisy in your voice. “Are you saying you’re in love with me, Murphy MacManus?”

Of course, you knew he loved you by now. He’d said it enough last night and earlier that morning, and he’d shown it with every move he made, every falter in his voice when he lost his train of thought because he was too busy being tackled by the overwhelming feeling of utter, almost pathetic, adoration for you. Still, you liked to hear it.

“You know I’m a fool for you,” he answered. “You know I love you.”

A profusion of pink bloomed on your cheeks, and though you’d heard him say those words before, it was still so new and sweet. Those words were familiar, but no one spoke them like him, not the way he meant it, not the way he looked at you when he said it.

“I love you, too.” Your hands pulled his cheeks forward until your lips met his for a sweet, innocent kiss. Maybe your feelings for him were becoming increasingly sexual, more deep and intimate than before, but he would always be so pure and sweet to you, much as you were to him. First love, they say, is always like that. First, last, always, you hoped.

“See you later,” he said. The tip of his button nose rubbed softly against yours, as the breath from his mouth grazed over your lips. “Tonight… It’ll be even better than last night.”

“Just don’t do anything stupid.”

The first thing he did when he left your apartment building was, in fact, stupid.

“Rocco,” he said, greeting the half-asleep Italian-American man on the other line of the pay phone across the street from your place. “I need your help with somethin’. I need you to find out where that Tony guy is.”

“Why… why the hell would I know?” he replied. His groggy voice signaled that he was just waking up, much earlier than he was used to, too.

“‘Cause you’re in that mafia crowd. You know shit.”

He did, in fact, know shit. Shit he probably didn’t want to know. He knew about people being offed left and right, and he knew a little too much about everyone in Giuseppe Yakavetta’s phone book.

“Goddamnit, Murphy,” he said. “What do ya want me to do, huh?”

Murphy’s face scrunched in frustration as he scratched his head, trying his hardest to muster up some kind of plan. All he knew was he needed to do something. That tattoo on his hand didn’t mean Justice for nothing.

“Fuck!” he suddenly exclaimed. “I dunno, just… Where does he live, huh? Let’s start with that.”

“Jesus Christ,” Rocco huffed. “You’ve lost it. Where’s Connor?”

“He’s not here… He got jumped by Tony and his buddies last night.”

That seemed to grab Rocco’s attention. “Well, shit, Murph. Why didn’t you start with that?”

Despite Murphy’s lack of driving skill, he drove Connor’s car to Rocco’s apartment, picking him up before heading to what Rocco knew to be the nephew of Papa Joe’s apartment. It was in a nicer part of town, but it still seemed rather unassuming. There weren’t goons perched outside, waiting for guys like Murphy to climb up the stairs and assassinate the guy. He must not have been that important, which Murphy found quite amusing.

“This is so fuckin’ stupid,” Rocco repeated several times in several different variations under his breath as they climbed the stairs to the second floor of the apartment building. “This guy has guns, Murph. Hell, Connor’s lucky he got out alive.”

“Relax,” he replied. “Which number was it now?”

Rocco hesitated, flashing Murphy a begging look, as if to say, please don’t make me do this.

“Twenty-four.”

He reluctantly followed the determined Murphy, who wasted no time in knocking on the apartment door.

Rocco seemed to back away slightly, until Murphy pulled him by his coat sleeve, just as a wifebeater-wearing Tony opened the door.

“What the fuck is this?” he asked, thick Italian-American accent loud and clear. To Murphy’s surprise, and Rocco’s relief, he didn’t seem to recognize the package boy.

Murphy’s anger at the man’s face overwhelmed any rationality he’d conjured up on the way there. In a black out of rage, he found himself grabbing Tony by the straps of his shirt, pushing him further into the apartment until he was leaned up against the wall, with Rocco quickly closing the door in a panic.

“Murph!” he yelled. “Christ!”

“You fucked with the wrong brother, dumbass,” Murphy hissed. “You wanna fight someone then fight me.”

He loosened his grip and shoved him against the wall with a thud. Holding back his urge to pummel him, he realized he was here for answers, too. Answers to Shannon’s death, which he had convinced himself Tony had something to do with.

“Did ya kill that girl in the coffee shop?” he asked inelegantly. After all, he never even planned out exactly what he was going to say.

Tony’s expression changed from confused to a broad, amused smile in a matter of seconds, though Murphy remained dead serious.

“No,” he said. “I don’t kill people. I don’t get my hands dirty.”

“But you had something to do with it?”

He tilted his head and leaned forward to push Murphy by his chest. “I don’t have to tell you shit, you dumb fuckin’ mick.”

Murphy had little time to think before he struck him, hitting the man across the face so hard he tumbled into the dining room table.

He steadied himself as he wiped his lip. Blood had begun to seep from the cut. “You’ve got some fuckin’ nerve. Jesus Christ!”

“I’m not leavin’ here till you tell me why you had Shannon killed!”

He spat a glob of saliva and blood across the room before he answered. “Had a guy wait for a girl to show up at the café. Didn’t care if it was her or (Y/N)… Just wanted someone dead. Told him to kill the first girl he saw comin’ in. Simple as that. Happens everyday. Just another dead girl.”

Murphy’s eyes narrowed intently as his body felt the weight of his anger bearing him down, keeping him steady, and yet immensely burdened by the pressure. Just another dead girl, he heard over and over in his head. That could’ve been you. That could’ve been anyone. Shannon didn’t deserve to die just because of a man’s wounded pride, just because a man had been rejected.

The smugness in Tony’s carefree smirk only added fuel to the fire. He was confident, without guilt or fear. He knew Murphy was powerless against him. He knew even if Murphy went to the police, nothing would be done. There’s no justice in the world, he thought. Not for people like this.

“You mean to tell me,” he said, “that you had a woman killed just because (Y/N) wouldn’t give ye the fuckin’ time of day? Is that it?“

He wasn’t sure why he was asking. He knew that was the reason, he just couldn’t believe it.

“You didn’t even care who it was,” he added, as if trying to make more sense of the concept by saying it all out loud. It only sounded worse. “You didn’t care if it was (Y/N), you just wanted someone dead… And if it wasn’t (Y/N), it’d be someone she cared about?”

Tony huffed. “Just how it goes. And your brother… I was bored.”

Murphy lunged forward once again, gripping Tony’s shirt so hard that he could hear a few seams ripping.

“Don’t ya ever touch my brother or (Y/N),” he said. “It’s not a warning, it’s a threat. I’ll kill you if I see you again.”

“Kill me?” he asked. “Buddy, Papa Joe knows where you live now. He knows how many steps you take in a day. You try anything and you’re dead. You squeal to the cops and you’re gonna wish you were dead.”

Murphy seemed to freeze in place, keeping a heavy, piercing stare into the young mafioso’s eyes. Time didn’t seem to mean much at all for a moment as he saw flashes of memories he wished could have faded in the eight years since they’d happened, but something like that didn’t go away easily.

The shine in Tony’s pupil was not dissimilar from the glisten of the cherry red puddle pooling around his feet that crisp overcast morning. In plain sight, in broad daylight, in the middle of the street in Limerick. Too close to home.

“Murph!” Rocco’s voice resounded with an echo from behind him. He pulled him by force from Tony, though his body was so stiff it became easily movable, compact and somehow hollow. “The hell is wrong with you, man?”

His brain seemed to rattle in his head as he shook himself out of his brief stupor. Tony’s chest puffed up, then he turned to retrieve something from the kitchen drawer just behind him. “You better get the fuck outta here now,” he said, now wielding a silver pistol he pointed with one confident hand at Murphy and Rocco, who quickly backstepped back towards the door. “Only reason I haven’t used this yet is ‘cause I got one bullet left. Don’t wanna waste it on one of you sorry pricks.”

Rocco yanked Murphy further out the door as he held it open with one hand, then turned back to say his only words to Tony: “This was all his idea,” he said. “I had absolutely nothin’ to do with it. Just here for moral support.”

The events of Murphy’s morning were certainly more exciting than yours, as meanwhile you were left to sit awkwardly watching Connor attempt to ice his back.

He contorted uncomfortably with a hiss to reach behind and graze the aching spot with the ice pack you’d given him, though it was just as painful for you to watch him.

“Here,” you said, lifting yourself up from the couch and preparing a throw pillow for him to rest his head on. “Lay down.”

At first he seemed reluctant, huffing as he crossed the studio apartment to the edge of the couch. Out of the corner of his eye, he met the gaze of Mimsy, who watched intently as she waited for him to settle in place.

“That cat’s got something evil in its eyes,” he said, leaning back slowly before crossing his ankles over each other. “Never liked cats.”

You took the ice pack from his hand and lifted his back (with a bit of a grunting protest from him) to place the ice pack underneath him, keeping it steady.

“There, that’s better… And maybe you just haven’t given cats a chance.”

He raised an eyebrow, turning to face you as you sat on the adjacent armchair. “Your brother likes cats,” you pointed out. A ball of white fur entered your field of vision as Mimsy jumped onto Connor’s stomach with her whole body weight, causing him to flinch and grunt in pain. Despite your slight urge to laugh, you quickly moved to remove the feline from his belly, then sat back down with her tucked in your arms. “I think she likes you. She loves Murphy.”

“Pfft,” he scoffed, wiping the myriad white hairs that had settled on his black t-shirt. “Cats can’t love. Evil things.”

He raised his eyes when he noticed you fell silent, focusing on petting the purring animal with downcast eyes. “Sorry,” he said. “I’m, uh… in a mood.”

“It’s okay. Can I get you anything? Water or something?”

“Got anything that’ll disinfect my insides?”

“No.”

He sighed and covered his eyes with the back of his arm. “Water’s fine.”

In awkward silence, you poured a glass of water and set it on the coffee table, within Connor’s reach. You pushed the glass closer and closer to the edge, hoping you wouldn’t have to force him to reach too far in his injured state. The guilt washed over you with each pass you made over his bruised face, and the bruises on his stomach and chest that could only be seen when his shirt lifted at certain angles.

“I’m sorry,” you blurted out, not entirely sure why you should be sorry. You didn’t inflict that pain on him, but maybe if you hadn’t kept Connor at the bar last night, or if you’d never gotten the brothers involved with Tony in the first place, he wouldn’t have been beaten to a pulp. Murphy wouldn’t be out doing God knows what, and you wouldn’t be just a little bit more scared for your own life than you were the day before.

“What the hell are you sorry for?”

You replaced yourself on the armchair, moving Mimsy out of the way as you did so. “I’m sorry those guys hurt you.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“If it weren’t for me, Tony wouldn’t know who you are. Now Murphy’s pissed, and I don’t want him to get hurt either. I don’t want anyone getting hurt. Not like Shannon.”

Connor huffed and folded his hands behind his head, propping himself up just a little more to look at you. You never realized how much he looked like Murphy. It wasn’t a particularly obvious resemblance, since at first glance their features were quite different, but when you really looked at him, for the first time, you saw that same kindness in his eyes. His eyes were bigger, even more expressive than Murphy’s. They seemed to tell a story deeper than his, something more somber and real. Murphy’s eyes were playfully cunning and somehow both sharp and soft in their gaze; Connor’s eyes displayed an intensity and a wide range of deep emotions that almost made you uncomfortable in their depth. You couldn’t look at him as long as you could look at Murphy, but maybe Murphy was just more familiar to you, more connected. Still, both of them had those kind faces—the kind of face with soft, handsome features that spoke volumes without uttering so much as a word.

“Murphy doesn’t think,” he said. “But he’s not gonna get himself hurt.”

“How do you know?” you asked genuinely. “I mean, he seems so… impulsive. Reckless, even. Don’t get me wrong, I—Well, I love that about him in a way.” Your body tightened as you averted your gaze, slightly embarrassed by your usage of the “L” word in front of Murphy’s brother. “These mafia people… They’re scary.”

Connor shook his head and propped himself up further until his aching back was separated from the soothing cold of the ice pack beneath him.

“It’s nothing new, lass,” he said, a softness in his voice you hadn’t heard from him before. “There’s always been people like that…”

He seemed to trail off, his eyes focusing on the purring ball of white fur in your lap, curled up, her limbs daintily spread out like the petals of a pure white snowdrop.

“Did, uh… Did Murph ever tell ya about a kid named Jack?”

You smiled and nodded, remembering the night Murphy told you of a boy he used to know, whose cat followed him and Connor home from his house. A simple story, but you remembered everything he said. Words in his voice echoed in your head as it ached to memorize them with every unique inflection and idiosyncrasy.

“He talked about how his cat would follow you home… You thought it was a bad omen, or something like that.”

He smirked at the memory, but that wasn’t the first thought he had when Jack came to mind.

“Did he tell you what happened to him?”

You furrowed your brow in confusion at the question, at the serious tone in his voice. How could such an innocent little anecdote lead Connor to be so somber? It reminded you of that look you’d seen in Murphy’s eyes when you asked about his tattoo—the one on his right hand. ÆQUITAS.

“He only mentioned him once, offhandedly,” you replied with a shrug. “I… didn’t know anything happened to him.”

Connor’s back straightened as his body stiffened. Bruises seemed to burn and the ink on his left hand seemed to seep further into the cracks of his skin, dyeing the muscle underneath. Tiny pin needles weaved relentlessly across his body, each prick representing a new old image being brought back to the surface. It had been becoming more potent these days, and Murphy felt it too. He believed it wasn’t just a coincidence.

“Jack was murdered,” he said bluntly, then swallowed hard to absorb the blow. “There’s… Irish mob in the city. Limerick. We were maybe nineteen, with some other guys, too, but Jack was… He got the bullet.”

You shook your head in surprise as you processed that. It was just about the last thing you had expected to hear, but then again, things were becoming dark all around you recently. Even the usual darkness of the pitch black that crept into your apartment each night seemed a little more deep. A little more vacant. A little more sinister.

“Oh my god,” you said. “I had no idea… I’m so sorry.”

The muscles in Connor’s face seemed to lose all strength as they wilted and froze into place. He couldn’t even blink for quite a few moments, as somewhere on the hardwood floor he relived that moment. He could see a shadow of his childhood friend’s body lying limp and writhing in agony as blood seeped from his abdomen. Gradually, he began to not move at all, until cat sidhe slinked through the mysterious mist to claim his soul before God could. At least, that’s what Connor saw in his mind. What cruel fate had befallen the young man—shot down in the middle of the street on a foggy October morning, only to be victim to that mythical black cat with the scruffy patch of white on his chest.

He cleared his throat to wake himself from that nightmarish daydream he’d somehow fallen into. “Uh, yeah… We were just out and about, walking downtown. Jack didn’t have anything to do with those assholes. He barely ever even left his house. That night before, we finally got him to go out to the pub with us. Walkin’ back home in the morning… He just went down.”

The gunshot seemed to ring out from a distance. The first gunshot he’d ever heard, and he’d hoped it would be the last, but he knew from that moment on that that wasn’t his fate.

On bended knees he hit the gravel of the busy city street, while on the other side of Jack’s body, blood seeped between Murphy’s shaky fingers as he tried in vain to stop the bleeding.

He couldn’t quite recall every word that was frantically spoken, every scream that echoed in the panicked street that day, but he knew one thing for sure: both he and Murphy had seen the flash of the perpetrator’s face as he rolled down the tinted window of that fancy black car. They’d only known him from wanted signs and reports on the evening news. They said to look out for a bloodthirsty assassin who was high in the upper echelons of the local Irish mob. All Connor and Murphy knew at the time was that people called him Angel of Death.

Of course, Jack’s death wasn’t planned, nor orchestrated by the mob. It was a random killing, meant to distract the general public as a robbery commenced across the street. They needed to create chaos, so that’s what they did. It was a slap in the face of human morality.

“Did they ever catch the guy?”

“Didn’t even look. Not enough, anyway. Even if they had, whatever he got wouldn’t have been enough. Jack never hurt anyone. All he cared about was that stupid cat.”

Connor’s eyes trailed to Mimsy, whose green eyes met his in sympathetic curiosity. It was like she understood everything he had said, and knew his pain. She knew much more than those strange cat eyes could ever really show.

“Ya know… After that, Murph and I knew we had to do something.”

His voice turned low and ominous, and you furrowed your brow in confusion at the statement. “Do what?”

He sighed and leaned forward. “Do you believe in destiny?” he asked.

Silence settled in as you tried to think of your answer to that nebulous question. “I, um… I don’t know. That’s a hard question.”

“But it’s an important question, lass,” he replied. “Think about it.”

You shrugged and willed yourself to really think on it for a while. For fear of putting your foot in your mouth in front of the brother of the man you loved, you had to know exactly what your answer was, and it had to be a good one.

“Well, um… I think maybe there’s some destiny. People are born in certain circumstances, and that sort of… predisposes them for things to happen. But I don’t know if there’s a big plan for all of us. I mean, life is complicated.”

“Aye, it is,” he said. “But God, lass… God has a plan for everyone.”

You’d once recalled Murphy mentioning that Connor was the more religious of the two. That explained a lot.

“I knew it from that day on,” he continued. “I knew Murphy and me had a purpose. We just need a sign.”

“A sign for what?” you asked, confused by Connor’s cryptic language.

“A sign to fight for truth and justice.” He held his left hand out towards you, tracing his right index finger along the Latin word on his hand, VERITAS. “We’re getting closer to it. I can feel it. Hell, I wouldn’t have let Murphy go out today if I didn’t think it was destined.”

He pulled his arm back and leaned against the pillow once more, readjusting the ice pack as he did. You were left still pondering on what he meant, until his voice croaked up again, this time almost in a whisper. “You and Murphy,” he said. “Maybe you were meant for each other.”

You tilted your head as the corner of your lip curled at his words. “Really?”

“He seems to think so,” he said, much to your delight as your cheeks rouged in flattery. “He’s always kinda been a romantic, you know. When we were little, he talked about getting married. A lot. I made fun of him for it, always goin’ on and on about the kind of girl he wanted to marry. He always says girls don’t like him, but they do. They like that he’s…”

Connor’s hand danced around in the air as he tried to figure out the word to describe what women saw in Murphy.

“Sensitive?” you asked.

“Yeah. Sensitive. More than me. He just never met a girl like you. Not a girl he loved like you. Tell you the truth, I was worried you’d… make him forget about what we have to do. That ya’d sweep him off his feet, get his head in the clouds. I mean, you did, but maybe it’s not so bad. Maybe it’s a good thing. It’s happening, so I guess it’s meant to be. Part of God’s plan, you know?”

You smiled wide and giggled under your breath, though Connor was dead serious. He didn’t take God or destiny lightly. “Um, yeah. I know what you mean… I love Murphy, Connor. He means a lot to me. I’d never want to get in the way of you two, or your plans. I just want to be with him. That’s all.”

Finally, Connor smiled again, realizing once and for all that you weren’t a burden on his brother’s mind. In fact, when he really thought about it, your presence in his life had made Murphy happier, and all he ever wanted was for his brother to be happy. What else could he ask for? You must’ve been part of God’s plan, he supposed. You were here, changing Murphy for the better, and maybe even getting the MacManus brothers just a little closer to their sign, which Connor was convinced was coming sooner rather than later. Besides, anything ordained by God was sure to be a good thing.

“I know you love him,” he said. “I know he loves you. He thinks you’re an angel… Thinks you’re the girl of his dreams, the one he always talked about marrying.”

You rolled your shoulders in bashful giddiness. You knew Murphy was a bit of a hopeless romantic, but you had no idea he was that serious about you. Of course, it was much too soon to even think about marriage, but you had to admit, if there would ever be a man you’d want to marry, it would be him.

“I hope he’s right,” you said. “I don’t want to disappoint him.”

“You won’t.”

You felt a weight lift from your lap as Mimsy jumped across the way to the arm of the couch, and slinked her way up to Connor’s chest, where she planted herself in the shape of a loaf.

“Mim!” you laughed, then continued to speak directly to the inordinately affectionate feline. Something about these MacManus brothers must’ve really impressed her. She seemed to like them almost more than she liked you. “Connor doesn’t like cats.”

Connor’s hands stroked her back as she lowered her head, letting sleep take hold of her, as it so often did for the lazy little animal.

“Nah, it’s fine,” he said, surprising you. “I, uh… I think I might like cats now.”

When Murphy returned later that afternoon, you thanked his God that he was all right. Not a scratch on him, but he was tired. More than that, he seemed defeated. Hopeless, even.

He insisted upon staying with you that night, with Connor snoring on the sofa (alongside Mimsy, who had curled up near his chest, her head close to his heart).

Murphy squinted his eyes in the darkness, peeking over the room divider to get a glimpse of Connor’s arm wrapped loosely around the sleeping cat.

“Christ,” he muttered. “How the hell did that happen?”

You came up behind him to rest your chin on his freckled shoulder, as your hands curled delicately around his sides. “I think Mimsy might love Connor even more than she loves you,” you said. “Don’t take it personally.” You raised a hand to comb your fingertips through his short, choppy hair, still a little wet from his shower. “I still love you.”

He huffed and leaned his head back to rest momentarily on your shoulder before he kissed your cheek, then turned around to face you. “I gotta tell ya somethin’,” he said, and in your slight fear he’d tell you he didn’t love you anymore, you grasped tight around his shoulders, pulling him closer. He felt so sturdy, and yet in his face was a fragility and vulnerability the likes of which you hadn’t seen in him before.

“You can tell me anything.”

You felt him gently guide you backwards, until the back of your knees folded against the edge of your bed. He held your hands in both of his as he sat beside you, causing you to panic even more.

“Murphy,” you whispered, afraid that if you spoke any louder you might break out into tears just from the way he was looking at you. You never thought those mischievous blue eyes could be so forlorn, but here they were—oceans of melancholy. “You’re freaking me out… What is it?”

“(Y/N),” he said, “Tony had Shannon killed.”

Your eyes widened briefly, then fluttered in confusion as you shook your head. “He… What?”

His grasp on your hands grew tighter, tight enough he could feel you shaking. “After what happened at the station, I guess… I guess he was pissed. He had someone kill her.”

You shook your head and separated your hand to cover your mouth. Tears quickly drenched your cheeks, and you pressed your hand harder to keep the sobs as muffled as you could. “H-how… Why? Why would he…”

Strong arms wrapped all around you like a blanket, bringing you into his bare chest with his fingers laced between loose strands of your hair.

Guilt washed over you for the second time today. The consequences of your actions once again involved someone getting hurt. You had hoped that Shannon’s murder had nothing to do with Tony, nothing to do with that guy you’d already regretted knowing, but somewhere in the back of your mind, you had known it all along. You just didn’t want to admit it could have even been possible.

“This… This is all my fault,” you cried against his chest. “Shit… Murphy, now you’re in this too. You and Connor… and Shannon’s dead because I wanted a free ride.”

“Hey,” he said, lifting your chin with a delicate hand, your glassy eyes reddened, with pearls of translucent tears resting on your bottom lashes. “You didn’t know who he was. You couldn’t have known, lass. It’s not your fault.”

He couldn’t even fathom telling you that Tony’s assassin could’ve killed you if you had been where Shannon was that morning. Just seeing the fear in you now, as you realized the kind of people Tony and his family really were, was too much for him to bear.

You shook your head and sniffled in an attempt to hold back any more tears. “We have to tell the police,” you said. “They can do something. They have to do something.”

“We will tell them,” he said. “We’ll tell them… (Y/N).”

He lifted your face to meet his once again, this time with both hands cupped around your cheeks to brush away the remnants of your tears. “I’ll never let anything happen to you,” he said. “I’ll keep you safe. I swear to God, you’re safe, and everything will be all right.”

You shut your eyes tight and nodded with a strained face. “Connor told me about Jack. About how he died. I don’t want anyone to die like that. I didn’t want Shannon to die like that. You never realize what it’s like until it happens to you.”

He nodded before holding you tight once again, feeling your chest move as you took a deep breath. Being held by him had some kind of calming effect, strong enough to make you forget for just a split second every ounce of irrational guilt that weighed down on you.

“It’s gotta stop,” he said. “It’s gonna stop. I promise you.”

Thanks for reading! Likes, reblogs, and comments of any kind are always appreciated!

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queenshelby · 3 years

Text

My Friend’s Father (Part Seven)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Age Gap, Smut

Words: 4,498

Notes:

I have decided to make this into a series.

Alright, no judgment. This was a dream of mine and I felt like I had to write it down. Everyone in this Fic is over the age of 18 and this Fic is in no way based on Cillian’s real family life. It’s pure filth.

*********

Throughout the entire night, you couldn’t help but think about Cillian. You dreamed about the kiss you shared, the touch of his hands on your face and even the scent of his skin.

You knew you shouldn’t think this way about your best friend’s father but it was something you couldn’t control even though you were angry with him.

But there was one person you who you were even more angry with and this was Connor, the man you were actually dating.

You got up early that morning to confront Connor about his behaviour at the art gallery opening and the truth was that you were pretty much done with him. You never had feelings for him in the first place and the truth was that he had simply become a distraction for you. You wanted to distract yourself from having taken a liking in your best friend’s father which, in itself, you knew was wrong.

Connor embarrassed you in front of your friends and Cillian was right when he said that he was acting controlling, even though you didn’t want to hear it, especially not from him.

You knew you had to end it and you knew that it wasn’t going to be a difficult task for you. You had always been a strong woman and you didn’t want to be with someone like that and, just when you arrived at Connor’s house you took a deep breath and did what had to be done.

‘It’s your loss Y/N’ were his words when you eventually left his house after a ten minute conversation but you didn’t feel like you had lost anything. In fact, you’ve gained something and that was experience in standing up for yourself.

***

Just after you encounter with Connor that morning, you went to have breakfast with Denise and her friends at the G Hotel in Galway.

They were all staying at the five-star hotel, courtesy of Denise’s father who had organised the weekend for Denise for her birthday and as a reward for her achievements after she had worked so hard on her project.

‘Happy Birthday’ you said as you greeted her and the others and Denise immediately told you off for being too loud as her head was pounding. It was obvious to you that she was rather hungover from the night the before.

‘You had too much champaign, huh?’ you giggled before handing her the present you had bought for her.

You usually didn’t spend much money on each other for birthdays but, since she was your best friend, you had spent a few hours’ worth in wages and gotten her something meaningful.

She was collecting vintage tea-cups and you had recently found a beautiful Royal Dalton set in a second-hand shop which you knew she would adore.

‘This is absolutely beautiful, thank you so much’ Denise said as she unwrapped it before hugging you gently.

‘You are welcome. I knew you would like it’ you said with a warm smile and, just as you did and sat down next to her, your mobile phone went off.

You received a text message from a number that was unfamiliar to you and when you opened it, you were none the wiser.

‘It was good to see you’ the message said and you were rather confused by it. You had some job interviews recently and wondered whether this was sent by one of the interviewers. Or perhaps someone from university, you wondered?

‘What is it?” Denise asked as she saw the look of confusion on your face when you glanced at your phone.

‘Someone just send me a message saying that it was good to see me’ you chuckled before explaining to her that you didn’t know the number.

‘Maybe it is this guy from university you were talking about a few weeks back? You know, the lecturer in the science department?�� Denise wondered before suggesting to you that you should text back and ask for a name, but you already knew it wouldn’t be him. There was no way he would have your number and you certainly were no longer interested in getting to know him after you had found out that he was married.

You texted back to the unknown number, enquiring who this was and, within a couple of seconds, your phone went off again and you almost choked on your coffee.

‘Cillian’ the message read and you quickly changed the angle of your phone so that Denise wouldn’t see it.

‘And? Who is it?’ she asked while trying to look at your phone.

‘Uhm…just a guy I met a few weeks ago…I ran into him again yesterday morning and I totally forgot about it…’ you stammered quickly but Denise didn’t buy a word you were saying.

‘You forgot?’ she giggled, winking at you as she did and your cheeks blushed almost instantly. ‘Well, he obviously didn’t and you must have given him your number for a reason. Is he hot? What’s he like? I need to know everything…’ she went on to say as, suddenly, without you haven’t sent anything back to Cillian, you received yet another text message from him.

‘For what its’s worth, you looked beautiful’ the next text read and you couldn’t help but smile as you continued to sip on your cup of coffee and Denise most certainly noticed the look on your face and asked you what he said.

‘Just that I looked nice’ you stammered, feeling awful about lying to her about who texted you but there was no way that you could have told her that it was, in fact, her father who you were texting with.

‘Uh, he likes you’ Denise then giggled before carrying on. ‘Well, since you ditched Connor now, you should go and meet up with him and have some fun. After Connor’s one-off ten-minute performance, I have no doubt that you really need it’ Denise said and, just as she did, the conversation across the breakfast table took a turn. Like so often, it now was all about sex and you realised that dissatisfaction was a common occurrence in women your age.

‘I believe that the whole talk about the female g-spot is load of rubbish. It’s a myth’ Amalie observed eventually after everyone across the table complained about the lovers that they had.

It was at this point that you mentally checked out from the conversation and, whilst you thought about the one pleasurable experience you had in your life when it came to sex, you certainly didn’t want to talk about it in front of Denise. Especially not Denise.

Instead of engaging in talks about vibrators and the male anatomy, you decided to respond to Cillian’s text messages after you had received yet another one, telling you that he was sorry. Clearly, he was desperate to hear from you.

‘I see, you kept my note?’ you responded quickly, ignoring his compliments and apologies, and, just moments after you sent it, you received a response from him.

‘Kept it in my wallet. Can we meet?’ Cillian asked and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes just before you received yet another message from him which read ‘BTW this is not a booty call. I just want to talk with you. Please.’

His message made you laugh but you agreed to meet him nonetheless.

‘I have an apartment at the Docks. Can you come there?’ Cillian asked in his next text message.

‘Alright. How does 4 o’clock sound? Text me your address’ you texted back and it wasn’t long until Cillian sent you the address of his apartment.

‘And?’ Denise asked as she watched you text with the mysterious stranger and you simply blushed again and responded with a short and somewhat embarrassed ‘nothing’.

‘Oh common, tell me Y/N. I am your best friend’ she then said and you confirmed that you would quickly meet up with him this afternoon before Denise’s birthday dinner.

‘Oh la la, you are having a date’ Denise then said somewhat excitedly.

‘We are just catching up to talk Denise. It’s not a date’ you then said.

‘Sure…whatever you say Y/N’ she then said sarcastically which is when, finally, she backed off and you received yet another text message from Cillian.

‘Looking forward to see you, xx’ it read and your heart skipped a beat pretty much then and there.

***

After you went home to have a shower and get changed into some nice jeans and a black shirt as well as some nice lingerie (just in case) you made your way to Cillian’s apartment.

You parked around the corner and walked the rest of the way just to be sure that no one would see your car being parked there.

‘Jesus’ you said somewhat surprised when you walked into the lobby of the apartment building and took the elevator to the top floor after Cillian had buzzed you inside. You had never been to a building like this. It was luxurious and right on the harbour.

When you arrived on the top floor, Cillian already waited for you, glancing through the door of his apartment.

‘Wow, these are some good views. Do you own this place?’ you observed as you stepped inside and set your purse on the desk by the door.

‘Yeah, bought it a few years ago’ Cillian said as you began to shrug off your jacket, but Cillian came up from behind you, and caught your hands. You looked down at your hands, noticing that yours dwarfed in his. They were warm and soft.

‘Let me take this for you’ he said like a gentleman and you were somewhat surprised by his gesture. This was not something you were used to but you liked it, a lot.

‘You know, I didn’t expect that you would text me, especially not after last night. So, what is it that you want to talk about?’ you asked nervously and, just as you did, Cillian cut straight to the chase.

‘I wanted to tell you, in person, that I am sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have lectured you about this guy who you are seeing and the truth is that, yes, I was jealous and I know that I had no right to be jealous and for that I am also sorry. I should have acted differently, especially knowing that you are my daughter’s best friend’ he admitted just before you cut him off.

‘Well, for what its worth, I ended it with Connor this morning because I think you were right about him’ you said with a nervous smile, causing Cillian to cock an eyebrow.

‘I can’t say that I am not happy about that’ he said jokingly before continuing on. ‘But, regardless of this, I think that we need to talk about how we move forward from what happened between us for Denise’s sake’ he then said, causing you to nod.

‘Yeah’ you then said somewhat disappointed before building up your strength in order to say something else. ‘The thing is, Cillian, I know what I want. I just think that you don’t’ you said, cheeks blushing.

‘And what is that you want Y/N?’ Cillian asked curiously as if he didn’t already know the answer to his question.

‘You’ you then admitted and, just as you did, Cillian’s hands caressed your face and he pulled you close and kissed you yet again.

The kiss was slow and passionate and, unlike the night before, you allowed yourself to give into it until, eventually, your lips drifted apart.

‘Are you sure Y/N? Because, I am much older than you and you probably have better offers with more assurances that I simply cannot offer you’ Cillian then asked as he was standing directly in front of you and held you against his body.

‘The fact that you are older actually turns me on’ you admitted before pressing your lips onto his again and then pulling away. You adored his wrinkles and greying hair and you were surprised that he had no idea how attractive he actually was.

‘But what is it that you want Cillian?’ you then asked as you felt his firm chest against you while his warm breath fanned against your neck, sending shivers down your spine.

‘Honestly, I don’t know Y/N. I have never been so fucking confused in my life’ he explained reluctantly, not knowing where to place the feelings he had built for you. You were over twenty years younger than him and his daughter’s friend and this clearly bothered him. He knew that this wasn’t something he could easily overcome.

‘Well, I am confused too but I like you, a lot’ you admitted, also unsure about what this was that you were feeling for him but, what you knew was that you wanted to give whatever this was a chance. You were curious and you were filled with desire for this man standing there right in front of you.

‘And I need to know that you feel the same and that this isn’t going to be just another mistake you are making because, if you are going to walk away after we have sex, then I am not up for it’ you then explained, wanting to ensure that he wouldn’t pull away from you this time.

‘No more mistakes Y/N. I like you and I want this’ Cillian whispered as he pressed his lips firmly right under your ear, slowly kissing down your neck.

‘I want you’ he then said as his breath tickled your skin and the firmness of his kiss made your stomach flip.

‘Then that’s good enough for me’ you huffed out in a laboured breath and just, as you did, Cillian used his hands to spin you around, causing you to face away from him.

Then, his hands dropped to your waist where his fingers gently edged themselves under the hem of your shirt, barely touching your skin. His lips moved, and he left a trail of kisses down your shoulder and towards your arm.

‘I knew this was a booty call’ you teased as you couldn't help but move against him.

‘Do you want to stop?’ he asked as your hips rocked and shifted while he gently brushed his fingers against your skin.

‘Hell no’ you giggled before you lifted your arms and he began to pull your shirt up.

You felt like you were performing some secret dance that we both knew, but that you'd never realised you'd known.

Cillian lifted your shirt inch at a time up off you, and let it fall to the floor. He sighed in satisfaction as he looked down at your breasts.

‘Why are you so fucking perfect?’ Cillian asked and you opened your mouth to answer but it came out as a sigh as his hands tightened around your waist.

‘Let’s take this off’ Cillian said determined as one of his hands inched up towards your breast, and he squeezed it gently. Then, his hands came away from you, and unsnapped your bra.

You practically shook it off of you, and then dropped your hands to your jeans. You needed his hands back on you again as soon as possible and turned to watch him as you kicked your shoes off and shoved down your jeans, your underwear coming with them.

‘Eager, are we?’ Cillian chuckled as he quickly began to undress himself as well after you had given him a look full of hunger and anticipation.

‘We are short of time’ you said as you were momentarily distracted by the sight of him unbuttoning his shirt, but you hurried to kick off the fabric wrapped around your ankles.

‘We’ve got at least two and a half hours Y/N’ Cillian then said as you finally stood there in front of him completely naked.

‘Exactly’ you chuckled as Cillian was still fighting with the buttons on his shirt, and you grabbed the fabric of it and pulled him against you, crushing your mouth against his.

Cillian made love to your mouth with his lips and his tongue. He was firm, slow, and demanding.

You breathed together, tasted together. He dragged a soft moan from your mouth with a caress of his lips. He explored you, letting his tongue run along the roof of your mouth. Your teeth crashed. He sucked your tongue into his mouth, and your stomach clenched and you let out an embarrassingly desperate sound.

Before your first night with Cillian, you'd never been kissed like this. The kisses you shared were more intimate and more sensual than anything you'd ever experienced in your life.

As you were kissing, you finally managed to unbutton his shirt and shoved it open. Your hands ran up and down his chest, exploring his toned body all the while he was relentless in his kiss. His arms wrapped around you, one hand pressing into the small of your back, and the other working his fingers into your hair.

With a small tug of your hair, he pulled your face away from him.

‘I could kiss you all day Y/N, but you said that we are short of time so you better get onto the bed’ he winked and you snaked your arms around his neck and kissed him while he walked you back into his bedroom and towards the bed.

As you were moving towards the bed, he fought with his belt and his pants all while his lips never left yours.

You shuffled awkwardly backwards until the backs of your knees hit the bed, forcing you to sit down. You kept your arms behind you to prop yourself up, smiling as you watched him finish undressing. He was just gorgeous and so goddamn perfect.

‘You are so sexy, you know that?’ you said full of desire while you watched as he pushed his pants down, kicking them off his ankles and standing in front of you completely naked, and... Sweet. Baby. Jesus…your mouth watered at the sight of his hard cock.

‘So are you’ he winked and, just as he did, you met his eyes again after having stared at his cock for a little while. That terrifying intense stare was back, and he looked like he was going to eat you alive. For all you knew, he would.

Without breaking eye contact, Cillian bent down and went to his knees at the foot of the bed, grabbed your legs, and pulled you closer to him, spreading your legs wide as he did so.

‘Lay back’ he ordered and you couldn’t help but bite your lip in anticipation.

‘What are you going to do to me?’ you asked as he was still staring at you. A slow smile graced his face.

‘I am going to make love to you with my tongue until you cum’ Cillian smirked and the idea of his face between your legs made your breath catch.

‘Oh, Sweet Jesus’ you moaned as he let go of one of your legs and put a hand on your shoulder. He pushed you back and then he lowered his lips to you.

Sweet bliss washed over you in an instant. You gasped, and moaned, and shivered. Cillian lapped at you like you were the sweetest treasure he'd ever put in his mouth. A slow, deep rumble from his chest travelled straight into your body through his lips, shaking you to your core. His tongue dove inside you, exploring you. He sucked on the lips of your sex, and the circled his tongue around your clit, sending powerful shocks of pleasure straight to your centre.

He was building you up to something big. Something beautiful.

He eased off right before you exploded, and you cried out.

‘Cillian, don't stop, please’ you moaned and, just as you began to plead with him, his fingers began to gently run through your wet slit.

‘Don’t worry, I won’t’ he said as he slowly pushed two of his fingers inside you before his tongue resumed its work on your clit.

Curling his fingers slightly upwards, he reached an unfamiliar spot deep inside you and, as soon as he reached this spot, you cried out in pleasure.

‘Oh god, fuck, Cillian’ you moaned as his fingers began to gently thrust in and out of you while he made love to you with his tongue.

With his skilled tongue and fingers working you, it didn’t take you long to reach an orgasm. Your legs began to shake almost violently as a wave of pleasure erupted through your body and your walls tightened around Cillian’s fingers.

When you finally came down from your high, Cillian stood up, pushed his hands against your hips, and slid you farther onto the bed.

‘You sound so fucking sexy when you cum like this, without having to hold back’ Cillian observed as he climbed onto the bed. He crawled towards you like a wolf stalking his prey.

‘I want you inside me, please…I am aching for your cock’ you moaned, spurring him on and, without losing any time he spread your legs wide and pressed the head against your slit, gently working the tip in and out, teasing you.

‘Oh god, please, stop teasing’ you whimpered, trying to wiggle against him. You wanted to feel all of him so badly.

‘Be patient, we will get there’ he whispered, and leaned forward so his arms were on either side of your face.

You felt him push a little deeper into you.

‘Oh god yes’ you gasped and winced and Cillian tilted his head and took your mouth with his, kissing you slowly as he rocked in and out. His lips and his tongue matched the pace of his thrusts, and you felt overwhelmed with desire as he slid deeper and deeper inside of you.

‘Fuck you feel so good Y/N’ Cillian groaned as he stretched you and pushed you until he was all the way in, and he pulled his mouth away from yours just long enough to let out a string of curses before he took your mouth again.

You couldn't breathe. Everything about him was amazing. The way he felt inside you was just perfect.

He held your head firmly in place as he kissed you, thrusting into you and grinding his hips so that he hit every single spot you didn't even know you had. Right as you were nearing your climax, he pulled all the way out and pushed himself off of you, pausing to catch his breath.

‘No…don’t stop…I was so close’ you whimpered.

‘Don’t worry, I am not done with you yet but I do enjoy teasing you’ he gasped and you could tell that he enjoyed edging you which is something no other man you have been with had ever done to you before. Unlike them, Cillian had amazing self-control which you thought might come with age.

Almost an hour later, after he edged you numerous times and made you change positions on several occasions, you ended up with Cillian on top of you once again. He slid back inside you, resuming his relentless pace. With every thrust, he ground his pelvis against your clit, and with only a few careful movements of his hips, you exploded in pleasure around him. There was no way you could have held back any longer as waves of heat and ice crashed onto you, and you fought to breathe through the intensity of your orgasm.

‘Fuck Y/N’ Cillian groaned shortly thereafter, feeling your walls contract around his shaft. He collapsed forward onto you, and you could feel him pulsing inside you and filling you with rope after rope of his warm cum.

You loved the feeling of him cuming inside you and his breath was hot against your neck, and he kissed your neck and your mouth again as he pulled back and out of you, giving you a chance to breathe.

***

‘Cillian’ you whispered, barely able to speak even after five minutes had passed since you came down from your high.

‘Yes Beautiful?’ he said, and moved slightly so he could wrap his lips around your nipple. He sucked and tongued at it, and pulled at it with his teeth.

‘Careful’ you laughed, and shifted under him slightly. ‘I’m super sensitive now’ you said.

‘I certainly hope so’ he murmured. ‘Although, I am not done with you yet. We still have an hour before dinner’ he smirked and your eyes widened immediately.

‘Oh really?’ you asked surprised and, when you looked down on him, you noticed that his cock was already hardening again just after a short five minutes of relaxation.

‘Really’ Cillian then chuckled as he rolled you onto your stomach, spreading your legs and crouching behind you.

Without losing any time, he lined himself up with your entrance and pushed back inside of you, eliciting a loud groan.

After doing you from behind for what felt like forever, he'd hauled you up into his lap and made love to you with his arms around you and our foreheads pressed together. You'd watched his eyes widen and roll back in his head as he came inside you again just after you reached your own high as well.

He then kissed you as he slowly pulled out of you, and then carried you in his arms like a bride into the bathroom where he'd showered you, washed your hair and your body, and treated you to another mind-blowing orgasm with his fingers.

‘I am fucking sore Cillian’ you huffed out as you were standing in front of the mirror and retouched your make up with a white towel wrapped around your body. You had only limited supplies with you in your handbag but were somewhat lucky that Denise had kept a few items in one of the bathrooms in the three-bedroom apartment.

‘I am sorry’ he then said as he stepped behind you and applied some more aftershave before kissing your neck.

‘Are you?’ you asked, looking back at him before pressing a gentle kiss on his lips.

‘Not really’ he then smirked before buttoning up his shirt.

You knew that you couldn’t arrive at the dinner together and, after you got ready, you decided to walk to the restaurant first so that Cillian would allow you a ten-minute head start.

But walking was difficult in itself and Cillian had a slight chuckle when he watched you waddle out of his apartment.

Your core was stinging but it was defiantly worth it.

Tag List:

@lilymurphy03@deefigs @theflamecrystal @desperate-and-broken @weepingstudentfishhorse @livinginfantaxy @rosey1981 @atomicsoulcollecto @peakyboyslover @nerdy4itall@elenavampire21 @hanster1998@mariapaiva13 @fairypitou @harry-is-your-sunflower @zozeebo @lauren-raines-x @kasaikawa @littlewierdalien @sad-huffle-nerd @theflamecrystal @peakymalfoyscullymulder @themissthang@0ghostwriter0 @stylescanbeatmyback @1-800-peakyblinders @datewithgianni @momoneymolife @ntmynouis @lilymurphy03 @mcntsee@cloudofdisney@missymurphy1985 @peakymalfoyscullymulder @otterly-fey @janelongxox @uchihacumdump @basiclassy @being-worthy @chaotic-bean-of-smolness @margoo0 @chocolatehalo @vhscillian @ysmmsy @littlewierdalien @crazymar15 @stickyknightflowerbailiff @im-constantly-fangirling @goldensunflowe-r @tellingyouastory @captivatedbycillianmurphy @namelesslosers @littlewhiterose @ttzamara @ttzamara @cilleveryone

@peaky-cillian

@severewobblerlightdragon @ysmmsy

#cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy #cillian murphy x reader #cillian murphy imagine #cillian murphy x you #cillian murphy x y/n

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luna-jaden-shadow · 3 years

Text

Fandom List

The following below are fandoms that I'm in as well as a few characters that I'm willing to write for. Feel free to ask about someone who's not named on the list (I'll most likely only list 4 per thing for space reasons (I could go on forever with MCU people alone)).

Masterlist | DOs, and DON'Ts

I do the following for imagines and requests: X Reader Character Ships Male X Male Male X Female Female X Female Any X Gender Neutral

Below the line is the fandom list + at most 4 characters

Marvel Cinematic Universe Tony Stark Bucky Barnes Natasha Romanoff Wanda Maximoff Others

X-Men Logan Howlett (Wolverine) Jean Gray (Phoenix) Ororo Munroe (Storm) Others

Marvel On Netflix Frank Castle (Punisher) Trish Walker (Jessica Jones) Matt Murdock (Daredevil) Others

DC Comics Joker (Any version) Harley Quinn Oliver Queen Others

Gotham Jim Gordon Harvey Bullock Oswald Cobblepot Barbara Kean Others

Dream SMP Technoblade JSchlatt Wilbur Soot Dream Others

Supernatural Dean Winchester Castiel Rowena Charlie Others

The Walking Dead Daryl Dixon Rick Grimes Negan Smith Maggie Greene Others

Fear The Walking Dead Nick Clarke Al Alicia Clarke Victor Strand Others

The Witcher Geralt Jaskier Yennefer Others

Arcane Silco Jinx Vi Others

Criminal Minds Spencer Ried JJ Derek Morgan Others

Law and Order SVU Finn Carisi Amanda Others

Orange Is The New Black Nicky Lorna Maritza Others

The 100 Bellamy Blake Octavia Blake John Murphy Marcus Kane Others

Grey's Anatomy Mark Sloan Lexie Grey Derek Shepherd Izzie Stevens Others

Soul Eater Death The Kid Maka Albarn Soul Eater Evans Others

My Hero Academia Shota Aizawa Katsuki Bakugou Tomura Shigaraki Dabi Others

Attack On Titan Annie Leonhart Levi Ackerman Mikasa Ackerman Hange Zoe Others

Lucifer Lucifer Morningstar Chloe Decker Others

American Horror Story James Patrick March [ Hotel ] Countess [ Hotel ] Nora [ Murder House ] Kit [ Assylum ] Others

Victorious Jade West Beck Oliver Andre Harris Others

NCIS Anthony DiNozzo Ziva David Others

The Office Jim Pam Erin Others

9-1-1 Buck Abby Others

Fallout 4 Nick Valentine Piper Wright John Handcock Others

Until Dawn Chris Heartley Samantha Giddings Others

Detroit: Become Human Connor Kara Hank Others

Resident Evil: Village Karl Heisenberg Alcina Dimitrescu Bela Dimitrescu

YouTubers Jacksepticeye Smosh [ Anyone ] Markiplier Mithzan Others

Markiplier Egos Darkiplier Wilford Warfstache Illinois Yancy Others

Jacksepticeye Egos Antisepticeye Chase Marvin Others

Creepypasta Jeff The Killer Ticci Toby Clockwork Others

Disney Elsa Kristoff Others

Celebrities Jeffrey Dean Morgan Lauren Cohan Robert Downey Jr. Scarlett Johannson Others

#Fandom list #request #ask #marvel cinematic universe #dream smp #the walking dead #supernarural #criminal minds #orange is the new black #requests are open #resident evil village

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twdeadfanfic · 2 years

Text

Without a goodbye

Murphy MacManus x female Reader fanfiction

From meeting Murphy one night at the pub, to him disappearing for eight years without a goodbye...to him coming back. (This was a request but I realized I didn’t really write it as requested...sorry.)

You still remember the day you met him as if years hadn’t passed.

You were with some friends in one of the Irish pubs of Boston, McGinty’s, chatting and having some drinks, when your eyes landed on a group of three men, but you instantly seemed to focus on just one of them, sitting on a stool near the bar.

Murphy MacManus.

He was probably one of the most attractive men you had ever seen, one of those you think wouldn't exist in the real world. Pretty blue eyes, bright with mischief as he seemed to joke and banter with the other men, a charming, cocky smirk tugging at his lips. Nice, sharp cheekbones, and short, dark hair spiking here and there almost as if he’d just rolled out of bed.

Damn…

There was another guy, who you’d later find was Connor, Murphy’s twin, sitting down on another stool next to Murphy, looking incredibly handsome too, and you couldn’t help but notice how they seemed to move somehow in sync. There was a third man standing in front of them, with wild long hair, Rocco, the brother’s best friend, whom you met later and never really liked, and both brothers seemed to be laughing at whatever he was saying, joking with him or maybe teasing him.

You tried not to stare at that handsome stranger, force yourself to look away, but your eyes stubbornly went back to look at Murphy not even half a second later, and you called yourself an idiot when you found yourself thinking that even his nose was cute…what a silly thought.

Suddenly, those blue eyes found yours. You tried to look away, embarrassed that he might think you were staring at him, even if you had, indeed, been staring at him, but you couldn’t avert your gaze, and for a moment, you both looked at each other.

You weren’t sure who looked away first.

All through the night, though, your eyes kept meeting, as you both seemed unable to stop looking at each other from time to time, but it wasn’t until a couple of hours later, or so, that you actually met him.

“Hey.”

You were at the counter ordering another drink when you heard a voice calling for you, and when you looked at your side, there was the handsome stranger to whom your eyes had wandered all through the night.

He was as attractive as he’d seemed from afar…no, probably more. You blinked at him, surprised that he was talking to you, and you felt a silly, unwelcome wave of nervousness in your stomach.

“Hey,” you forced yourself to greet him too when you realized that you were just staring at him in silence and looking like a half-panicked horse…you hadn’t dreamed that this guy would approach you…

“I’m Murphy,” he introduced himself with a smile so pretty that it made him look even more handsome, and your stomach did something weird again.

It wasn’t the cocky, mischievous smirk that you had spied on him sometimes before, when he seemed to be joking with his friends, though. This was another kind of smile, and you wondered if he too looked a bit nervous and shy, or if you were imagining it.

“I’m Y/N,” you introduced yourself, trying to smile…you wanted to look nice and friendly, but those damn things twirling in your stomach weren’t making it easy.

“Nice to meet ye…I hadn’t seen ye here before,” Murphy told you.

“No, it’s the first time I come, actually…my friend Aine, his brother comes here often and he told her this was a nice place, so we decided to come this night,” you explained shyly, nodding first towards your friend, then to her brother and his group of friends.

“He’s right, this is the best pub in Boston, love,” Murphy said, his pretty smile growing, brightening his face, making him look even more handsome, which combined with him calling you love…yes, the silly butterflies were twirling like crazy in your stomach, even if you tried to stop it and get yourself together.

“You, uh…” You cleared your throat. “So you come here often, then?”

“Almost every night, aye.” Murphy nodded. “Me and my brother Connor live in the building in front of this, we got lucky!” He said as he nodded towards the guy who had been sitting down on the stool next to him.

So that was his brother…you remembered thinking that they moved oddly in sync, and they even dressed in a similar style too.

“I guess that’s convenient,” you chuckled shyly.

“It is!” Murphy nodded. “So, uh…” His eyes darted towards where his brother was sitting down, looking at you both, and then back to you, and you wondered again if Murphy looked shy too or you were just imagining it. “Ye like the pub? I mean…aye, ye gotta like it, it’s the best.”

“Yes, I do like it, it’s really nice.” You nodded, you didn’t think it was the best, but you wanted to be nice.

“Aye, so…ye think ye’ll be back, then?” He asked you and you nodded even if you hadn’t talked about it with your friends yet…but if Murphy went there every day then, yes, you might be going more often than you had thought. “Nice!” Murphy’s pretty smile grew again and how in the world was it so beautiful. “So then I guess I’ll see ye around.”

“Yes.” You sure hoped so. “If you come here every day.”

“Aye!”

You both looked at each other, and you wondered if there was any chance that Murphy was feeling as shy as you…you didn’t know what to do, you wanted to say something, you knew you had to, you wanted to keep talking with him, but you didn’t know what to say or what to do…it seemed as if Murphy was about to say something too, but then he didn’t.

Both your drinks were placed in front of you and when Murphy reached for his, you did the same with yours, still not knowing what to do or say.

“I guess, I should, uh…” You said vaguely, gesturing towards your friends.

“Aye…” Murphy nodded towards his brother too, who was still looking at you both.

“It was nice meeting you,” you said, hating how awkward it sounded. “I, uh…I guess I’ll see you around if you come every day.”

“Aye” Murphy nodded before he glanced towards his brother again and you thought he might walk back to him, but then he looked back at you. “We’ll come back tomorrow again.”

“Then maybe we’ll see each other tomorrow.” You smiled, or tried to…you looked forward to seeing this handsome and charming guy again, even if you weren’t doing the best job at talking to him, but it also made you kind of nervous.

Murphy nodded, giving you that pretty smile that made your belly do weird things, and you nodded at him before retreating back to your friends while Murphy walked back to his.

Your friend Aine raised her eyebrows at you, grinning. “What were you talking about with that hot guy?”

“Oh…nothing…” You felt your cheeks heating up. “He was just saying hi…”

“He walked right to you when he saw you, I think he’s interested in you,” Aine said, nudging you.

“Really?” You couldn’t help the twirls in your belly at it. “He said he and his brother come here every day.”

“See, he wants to see you again.” Aine grinned at you. “We’re coming back tomorrow.”

“Okay…” You chuckled, you were nervous about it but also excited…when you glanced towards Murphy, though, your smile died on your lips and your stomach dropped. “Forget it,” you scoffed.

“What, why?” Aine asked, looking towards Murphy too.

“He was just trying to make fun of me or something,” you said, defensive…you shouldn’t have trusted someone that handsome. “Look at him, they’re laughing at me…he was just messing…”

Aine let out a sigh, rolling her eyes. “Why do you always jump to that conclusion?” She asked and you shrugged, defensive. “I’m pretty sure it’s not true…in fact, I think those other two guys are actually laughing at your cute one, not at you…look.”

You did look, not sparing a thought at how little subtle you and Aine were in your staring, but the guys seemed too busy to notice…maybe Aine was right? Connor and Rocco were laughing and saying something to Murphy, who seemed pissed, before he seemed to snap at them, shoving his brother almost off the stool, but by the looks of it, it seemed to only make them laugh more while Murphy sat there, sulking.

“Maybe…” You murmured, unsure…you didn’t want to make a fool out of yourself, but you couldn’t help your hope that maybe Aine was right, and maybe Murphy was really interested.

“We’ll find out tomorrow,” Aine said, winking at you.

* On the next evening, you went with Aine to McGinty’s again. Murphy was there already, sat down in the same stool of the previous night with his brother next to him, although his friend Rocco was missing.

His eyes found you and a smile spread across his beautiful face while he gave you a nod, making butterflies bloom in your belly, and you gave him an awkward, shy wave.

“Come on, go speak with him,” Aine urged you but even though you wanted to, the idea made you nervous.

“And what do I tell him…”

“Anything…it doesn’t matter, just go and say hi.” Aine nudged you but you didn’t move, feeling insecure.

“Wait…let’s…let’s get our drinks first.”

Aine rolled her eyes and let out a sigh but nodded. “Okay.”

You tried to gather your courage to go to speak with Murphy, but by the time you finished your drink, which you drank a bit faster than usual as if it could help, you still hadn’t approached him. His friend Rocco was there too now, and it made you even more nervous about going to try to speak with Murphy.

Like the evening before, you were at the countering ordering another drink, when Murphy approached you.

“Hey, Y/N,” he greeted you with that pretty smile. “Ye came back.”

“Hi, Murphy.” Despite your nerves, his cute smile was contagious. “Yeah, I told you I would.”

“Aye…nice to see ye again, love,” Murphy said and the butterflies in your belly twirled out of control while you nodded, trying to say that it was nice to see him too. “I’ll get ye a drink, what are ye havin’?”

“Oh, you don’t have to…” You began, but he was already talking to the bartender as if he knew him, small wonder when he said he went there every day and even lived in front of the pub. Well, maybe then you could get him a drink later, it’d be a chance to hang out with him more.

Once you both had your drinks, you looked at each other but neither of you said anything, even though Murphy was looking at you intently with those pretty blue eyes, but your brain was still not allowing you to come up with anything. You were scared thinking that he might find you boring and turn around to go back to his friends, when you realized that one of them was actually approaching you both.

“Hey, I’m Rocco,” he introduced himself. “Y/N, right?” He asked and you nodded, guessing that Murphy had told him your name.

“The fuck are ye doin’ here!” Murphy snapped, clearly annoyed.

“Helping you because even from there-” he gestured towards where he had been and you noticed that Murphy’s brother was approaching too as if to help out. “I can see that you’re being as useless as yesterday and it’s making me sad.” He didn’t sound sad, though, but kind of mocking, and you didn’t feel good about it, making your insecurities grow.

“Shut up!” Murphy snapped again, giving Rocco a shove, but he ignored it, looking at you.

“Look, my friend here, he likes you and won’t shut up about you which is getting annoying, and he’s trying to get your number but he’s being clearly useless at it, so I’ll ask you for him,” Rocco said with that joking tone that you didn’t like and Murphy snapped at him to shut up again, pushing him, before his brother got in the middle, while you just stood there, awkward and confused.

“I told ye not to!” Connor said to Rocco before looking at Murphy. “But…aye, brother, it was lookin’ like ye needed help,” he said before Murphy shoved him against Rocco.

You didn’t know what to think, but you were feeling very uncomfortable and nervous, unsure of what was going on, and so you turned to leave, but Murphy noticed, despite being arguing with his friend and his brother.

“Hey, love, no, wait,” he said, reaching to hold your wrist and stop you, his warm touch sending a tingling through all your body. “I’m sorry that they’re idiots.”

Murphy was looking upset and you didn’t know what to think…and the feeling of his hand on your arm was a bit distracting. You glanced at his friends, Connor seemed contrite but Rocco was still smiling.

“I…just…I don’t want to be a joke…” You said quietly, you couldn’t help yourself, even if you felt stupid and embarrassed.

“What…why you say that, it’s nothing like that,” Murphy told you before looking at Connor and Rocco. “See what ye did, are ye happy?” He snapped.

“We’re sorry…” Connor said looking from his brother to you, but it just made you feel even more embarrassed… you were overreacting but you couldn’t help it… “Look, yer here with friends, aye?” Connor said and you nodded. “What if we all have a drink together?”

You weren’t sure, you still felt very awkward, but you looked at Murphy and…was he giving you puppy eyes? Damn, how could he look even cuter? His hand on your wrist slid down to hold your hand, his thumb stroking your knuckles…it was an oddly intimate touch considering that you both had barely shared a few words, and yet, it made you feel a bit more at ease, somehow.

“Okay…okay.” You finally nodded, making Murphy’s face light with a smile that had butterflies dancing in your belly. “I’ll go ask my friend…”

You went back to Aine, feeling Murphy’s eyes on you the whole time, and you tried to briefly explain to her what had happened and how confused you were, and she agreed to go have a drink with them in a second.

“And to think that a guy who looks like that is even worse at flirting than you…” She commented as she walked, and you shushed her, mortified. “It’s a bit of a pity that I do have a boyfriend…” She said as he eyed Connor as you both walked to them and you snorted.

“You don’t mean that…”

* When you had approached the guys with Aine, you had been wary, unsure of what to expect…but you had a great time.

Murphy had seemed shy and quiet when approaching you, but soon that was gone, and he actually talked so much, that you thought he might never stop…not that you minded, he was charming and funny, making butterflies twirl in your belly when he smiled at you, and you truly enjoyed hearing him and Connor tell stories about their childhood in Ireland and their new life in Boston.

The twins tended to talk over each other, to banter and try to make fun of each other, and it should have been ridiculous, but it was kind of endearing in a way. No matter the snapping and the jokes, though, or that you had just met them, you could see the deep connection between them.

By the end of the night, Murphy and you had not only exchanged numbers but would also go out on a date the next day, even if neither of you had actually called it a date.

And to that one, many others followed…

* Your relationship with Murphy wasn’t perfect.

He was sweet and easygoing, but he could also be a hothead quite often, snapping easily, but after an argument, once he’d cooled down, he usually apologized to you just as easily…sometimes he’d resort to the puppy eyes to have you forgiving him if he’d been an ass or to convince you to agree with him, and damn it but it worked.

Another problem was to get time alone with him, since both he and Connor seemed to be always together, a twin pack of two charming, fun Irish handsome guys, and sure, you were friends with Connor and enjoyed hanging out with him too, but you would have liked to have a bit more of time only with Murphy…there were some moments just for you and him, but it wasn’t often. And certainly, not in that apartment where the brothers lived, if you could even call that place with no doors or walls even for the bathroom an apartment.

All in all, there were more good moments than bad ones in your relationship with Murphy, he always managed to make you feel important and loved, with how sweet and charming he could be, and you never were bored with him around.

Little did you know how things were going to change...

Somehow, the events that started with trying to protect Doc and his pub from a group of mob bullies, ended up turning your cute and childish boyfriend and his brother into cold-blooded, reckless mafia killers, claiming that during a dream, God had given them a sacred mission to rid the world of everything that was evil starting with the mafia.

It was beyond insane…not to mention dangerous, even worse when you learned that Rocco, damn Rocco of all people, was helping them.

But no matter how many times you voiced your concern, how many times you begged, snapped, yelled, cried, they ignored you, angry and upset with you, until Murphy stopped contacting you, and there was no way you could get a hold of them by yourself.

Days were passing and you were going crazy with worry. You were brokenhearted too, but you were too scared to properly feel the heartbreak at how you seemed to have lost Murphy.

It was another day of worry, anxiety, and sadness, when you got a call from Aine telling you to turn on the news on tv, and as you did so, your heart seemed to leap to your throat.

Murphy and Connor, along with an older man, seemed to have taken over a courtroom in which one of those big mob bosses they wanted to hunt was being judged. They were aiming their guns around, saying something that you couldn’t make, and then they were shooting the man dead, before the news stopped broadcasting.

You gasped, your heart beating so fast you thought you were going to faint. They had killed that man there, in cold blood…and you might not argue that he, indeed, deserved it, but what was going to happen now? Sure the twins were about to get arrested and judged for all the murders…

You knew there was no way of contacting them and so instead you watched the news, hoping they would cover whatever was happening, hoping that Murphy would contact you somehow, yet knowing he wouldn’t…

Soon things turned out messy for you too, when the police found pretty quickly that you had been dating Murphy MacManus and you were relentlessly questioned, but you thought that it was almost worse when the press found out and tried talking to you, which you avoided as best as you could.

You still didn’t know where the hell were the brothers or what had happened to them. The police seemed to think they were on the run, hiding, and it made sense, but…what if the mafia had gotten to them? They could very well be dead…

Your fear just increased when you found out Rocco, who’d gone missing before the MacManus, had been tortured and killed by the mafia…that could very well had happened to the MacManus too…

Because otherwise, why was Murphy not contacting you? Maybe he couldn’t…maybe it was not safe…maybe he didn’t care, it wasn’t like you two had been talking much since he started hunting mafia, and every time you two spoke, it ended in arguments about it.

But still…a heads-up on what he was going to do would have been nice…and a call to tell you that he was okay…

So you were afraid, you were worried…but you were sad and bitter too, brokenhearted, you couldn’t help it.

It was a few days later, that you got a phone call.

“Hello?” You answered the phone, wary that it might be the police or the press.

“Hey…” That voice…his voice.

“Murphy…are you safe?!”

“Aye…aye, we’re fine.” Fine? Fine after everything that had happened? Fine when you were feeling broken? Your bitterness began to step over your worry.

“Fine?! What the hell is going on?!”

“We, uh…I bet ye saw the news, aye?” He answered…was he joking, when you felt like your heart was breaking with worry and sorrow?”

“Yes I saw you and your brother murdering a man on his knees,” you hissed.

“He got it comin’!” Murphy snapped. “Ye knew who he was, right? He deserved worse!”

“So you had to do it in front of all those people?! On live television?!”

“Aye, we didn’t get another chance, and it sent the message, that was important.”

“Important enough to show yours and your brother’s face as the killers wanted both from the police and the mafia.”

“Aye…we can’t show our face again, for a long while at least,” Murphy said…so, you were not seeing him anymore?

“Why you didn’t tell me anything?”

“There wasn’t time, we got lot’s to plan for, and ye know how Connor gets ‘bout plannin’...” Murphy huffed. “And we didn’t wanna involve ye, gettin’ ye in the eye of the mafia and the police.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose. “Don’t you think it was a bit late for that? They found out already that I was involved with you, it was not that hard! Hell, it took a couple of days for the local tabloid to print a column about ‘the woman who loved the Saints’” You hadn’t yet shown your face anywhere after that.

“Oh, we saw it…Connor found it funny ‘cause they wrote as if ye were with the both of us or some shit,” Murphy said, sounding annoyed, as if it had the right.

“Point is…they know who I am anyway.”

“Aye…but ye don’t know where we are, ye know nothin’ of our plans-”

“Oh, so if I knew, you think I’d just rat you out?” You snapped, hurt.

“I…I didn’t mean that…” Murphy sighed. “Ye, uh…there’s police watchin’ over ye, aye? In case those mafia assholes try somethin’?”

“Uh…yes, how did you know?” Since you had been treated mainly as a suspect, you hadn’t expected it, but after your name hit the tabloids, someone called detective Duffy had told you that you were getting protection in case the mafia might want to use you to get to the Saints.

“I imagined it,” Murphy said after a moment, and you thought he was lying, but he just seemed to be hiding so much, what was another lie.

“Where are you, Murphy?” You asked instead.

“We’re in Ireland.”

“Ireland?!” You knew they were on the run but hadn’t imagined they had gone all the way to Ireland.

“Aye…told ye, we had to go hiddin’...da’ thought Ireland was our best shot and he still got contacts so-”

“Dad? That man on the tv with you both was your dad?!” You were feeling dizzy at so many things happening in a short period of time.

“Oh…aye, aye he is!”

“But…how?” You knew he’d gone missing when the twins were babies.

“It’s a long story but-”

“But you’re not going to tell me,” you snapped, bitter, you couldn’t help yourself.

“I don’t have much time... I thought ye were pissed ‘cause I didn’t tell ye anything’, now I call ye and yer still pissed anyway?” Murphy snapped back, which just upset you more.

“Why you even bothered calling me now?”

“I’m startin’ to wonder it myself,” Murphy huffed and you wouldn’t admit that it hurt.

“Well, don’t let me have you be late for killing the Irish mafia,” you joked bitterly.

“Nah, we’re not doin’ that…for now at least,” Murphy answered.

“So, what’s Connor’s plan, then?”

“It’s not only Connor doin’ the plannin’ always, I help too!” Murphy snapped…you knew it, and you had known it’d make Murphy snap so you’d said it. It was petty but you didn’t care.

“Sure…so what?”

“No killing…da’ got us a cabin, there’s nothin’ around, we got some sheep…”

“Sheep.” This conversation kept getting more and more surreal. “What the hell do you or your brother know about sheep?!”

“We’ll learn!” Murphy snapped, defensive.

“So, that’s the plan, you and your brother hide with your dad and become shepherds?”

“I…aye, I guess…” Murphy sounded unsure and it was not reassuring at all.

“For how long?” There were a million things you wanted to ask, but you settled for that.

“Dunno, but…told ye, it’s gonna be a long while before we can show our face…” Yes…forever, maybe…how long would take people to forget about them, what they had done, their faces?

“Yes…so, that’s it, we’re not seeing each other again.”

“It’s not…didn’t say that, just…aye, not for a while, I guess…dunno yet…things are complicated now…”

“No shit!” You would rather snap than cry, and you were feeling like crying forever.

“Why’re ye always so angry!” Murphy snapped back. “It’s not like we wanted to have to go hiding! But the mission is important! We’re doing God’s work! We’re freeing the world of evil! But yer always mad and acting like we’re wrong”

“I already explained why, you can’t get it, I won’t try again,” you said, sad and bitter. “Come on, go back to your sheep then.”

“Aye…aye, I think I’ll name the meaner one after ye.”

“Whatever, Murphy,” you scoffed. You expected him to snap again, but he just sighed.

“Look, I…I really gotta go.”

“Yes, sure-”

You hadn’t even finished the sentence and he’d already hung the phone.

You couldn’t say you wouldn’t cry because of Murphy, because you were already crying, even if you felt stupid.

* You wanted to act like you didn’t care, like this was it, you and Murphy were done, and there was no point in trying to change it, it was impossible by now…but you couldn’t, and not even 24 hours had passed since you had last talked to him, that you had tried contacting him again, only to find that he had called you from a phone booth and so you couldn’t locate him or find a number to phone him

He didn’t call again. You waited, days passed, and Murphy never phoned again.

Quite out of the blue, though, and rather unexpected, one day you found a postcard in your mailbox. It had no address, and it featured a herd of sheep in which you assumed the Irish countryside. All the sheep seemed peaceful but one, who was snapping at another. Written with a marker next to the sheep was your name. Murphy…Murphy had sent this. You scoffed at it, and you called yourself an idiot when you stick it to your fridge with a magnet.

There were no phone calls from Murphy, but every few months you would get a postcard with no address or anything written but seeming to show different landscapes of Ireland.

As time passed, though, the postcards were getting scarcer, until it was two a year, for Christmas and your birthday. You knew that it was for the best. You had to move on, forget Murphy, but it was easier said than done.

Still, years passed, and you moved on with your life.

Eight years after Murphy left for Ireland, you were reminded of him, not that he had completely left your mind, in an awful way when the news reported a local priest murdered in the same way that the MacManus used to kill their mafia victims.

You were confused, you didn’t know what was going on…but one thing you knew, the brothers hadn’t done it, they would never kill a priest…unless the priest had done something evil in secret? It might be…or maybe he hadn’t, and the brothers had just turned into full murderers, you had known nothing of them in years…but that didn’t sound right to you.

Besides…weren’t they in Ireland? Maybe they were back? You couldn’t believe that after eight years, you’d still be a little hurt thinking that Murphy might be back and he wouldn’t contact you…but why would he?

Still, you didn’t think the murderer of the priest were the MacManus, no matter how it had been framed…they might very well still be in Ireland with their sheep…

Or maybe not, since a few days later, while you were running errands, you saw them on the street…they looked older, a bit different, but you’d recognize them in a second.

You were frozen, staring at them, a whirlwind of different thoughts and emotions stirring in you, and then, the brother’s eyes found you.

They seemed frozen too, but you were getting closer, and you realized that, somehow, you were walking to them. Once you were in front of them, you three just stared at each other, while Connor cast a nervous glance around as if afraid you might draw attention.

“Was it you? The priest?” You had a million things you wanted to say, and nothing at the same time, your brain felt fogged, and that was the first thing that came out of your mouth.

“Ye think we did it?” Connor sounded outraged. No, you didn’t think so, but you just shrugged. “Of course we didn’t! That’s why we had to come back! Gonna find whoever did it and put it on us.” So, they had just come back…had they really been herding sheep for eight years? You couldn’t picture them. “Look, Y/N, sorry, but we gotta rush,” Connor said, looking around again, while Murphy was still staring at you in silence.

“Five minutes,” Murphy finally said to his brother. “I’ll catch up to ye.”

The brothers looked at each other for a brief moment, while you were still feeling rather dumbfounded, before Connor nodded curtly. Murphy gestured towards a nearby alley, and you found yourself following him.

You were following Murphy, unsure of what you wanted to do or to say, or if you should just walk away, you were a mess of shock and confusion, when suddenly, Murphy was turning around and wrapping his arms around you to hug you.

“I missed ye, love…”

The hug felt warm and familiar, and you struggled out of it. You wanted to sob and also to yell at him. He couldn’t just ignore you for eight years after the way in which he left, and then hug you as nothing.

As you moved away from his arms, Murphy looked at you like a kicked puppy, but he had no right…you had known nothing of him for eight years besides a postcard here and there, and he had the gall to say that he missed you?

“You missed me? That’s why you disappeared like that, for eight years in which you never called or anything again?” You felt the hurt in your heart as if eight years hadn’t passed. “Don’t you dare to say that.”

Murphy looked down at that, still looking like a kicked puppy but also guilty, and he shrugged. “Last time we talked…it didn’t look like ye wanted me to call ye again.”

You scoffed, shaking your head. “So we argued once and you decided not to talk to me ever again? Nice. I had no way to contact you, Murphy! No address, no phone number, nothing!” All your pent-up anger and heartbreak were back.

“It was’ safe, ye know it,” Murphy said, finally looking at you. “We couldn’t have police or mafia getting a chance to track us…not ‘cause we think you’d rat us,” he said before you could snap. “But we didn’t want to risk it and draggin’ ye into the mess.” Yes, as if you hadn’t been dragged into the mess already, with all the questioning from the police and the press trying to pray into your relationship with the MacManus.

“You could have told me that.” Even if you could have guessed something like that, it’d have been nice to hear. “Even if just once, you could have told me that, told me that we were over, instead of just acting like I didn’t exist anymore when you knew I couldn’t contact you again...but you just disappeared…” You were feeling like crying and you hated it, it made you feel weak and silly.

“I sent ye the postcards…” Murphy said, eyes down again, and you snorted.

“Yeah, well, at least that was a way of knowing you were alive and not arrested or murdered by the mafia,” you commented…you had still cared, no matter what.

Murphy nodded. “Detective Duffy, the one who put ye on protection in case mafia came for ye?” He said and you nodded, it’d been years, but you remembered it too well, it’d been scary. “He’s a friend, he helped us, so I told him to help ye…so I knew ye were safe too…”

“Okay…” You muttered, nodding as you looked down, you were still hurt.

You felt Murphy’s hand taking yours, and part of you wanted to pull away, but you didn’t move. “I’m sorry I dragged ye into this, I didn’t mean to,” he said and you knew it was true but you just shrugged. “And I’m sorry I didn’t talk to ye in all these years but…things were complicated…”

“I get it…” You tried to swallow the lump in your throat. “No, you’re right…everything was a mess, it wouldn't have worked out…” Still, you wished he hadn’t disappeared in the way he did.

Murphy was still looking at you like a sad puppy and you didn’t know what else to do or to say…you didn’t even know what to feel.

“I have to go back to Connor,” Murphy said and you nodded…so, that was it, the last time you saw him. At least this time you knew it was the last time…you wondered if it might bring closure…you just felt awful anyway.

You nodded, letting go of his hand, but he just took yours again, looking at you intently.

“Y/N…I know ye don’t believe me and I know I hurt ye, but I missed ye, and I’m sorry at how things went, I’m sorry I hurt ye, I’m sorry ‘bout this eight years,” he told you, and part of you wanted to believe it while another part didn’t want to…he’d always been so childish but he looked so serious now, like he really meant it… “Right now, it’s what Connor said, we gotta find whoever killed that priest, and I don’t know what’s gonna happen…but if things go well…can I call ye when it’s over? Can I talk to ye again?”

No. You shouldn’t let yourself get dragged into this again… But you just nodded.

“Okay.”

“Really?” Murphy smiled, and how could you have forgotten how damn beautiful he was when he smiled. It was almost unfair. “Okay…okay, give me a few days, I gotta go back to Connor, but when we fix this? I’ll call ye, for real this time.”

You just nodded again and Murphy grinned, before looking around. “Gotta go, we talk soon.” Another nod from you, another smile from him, and then he was rushing away towards where Connor had gone.

You didn’t want to have hope…you knew you shouldn’t…and yet…

* You tried to pay more attention to the news to see if they said something about the MacManus. That’s how a couple of days later, you found out about the shooting and the brothers being detained.

It was bad, but at least they were alive. You tried to content yourself with that…you still worried, though, not knowing what was going to happen to them…and you were surprised at all the support the Saints seemed to be getting, with people even asking for them to be released. Turned out those two had become famous…you just wanted them safe, even if you hadn’t known anything of them for eight years.

A day later, you got a phone call from the prison.

“Hey.” Murphy’s voice, weak and tired, but his voice. “Told ye I’d call ye…things didn’t really go as expected though…”

“I bet.” Why were you feeling like crying? You were silly. “How are you even allowed to call me?”

“One of the guards seems to be a fan,” Murphy said as if nothing. “He’ll delete the number, don’t worry, nobody will know I phoned ye, he made sure there’s no recording either.”

“Okay…are you and Connor alright?”

“Aye…bit battered but we’ll be fine.”

“And are you safe? They said there’s mafia on that prison…”

“Aye, I bet they wanna take our heads,” Murphy said and you didn’t know he could sound so uncaring. “But we’ll be fine.”

“Murphy, that doesn’t sound safe at all.”

“We can take care of ourselves…besides, we’re not gonna be here for long.”

“What?”

“We got some friends, inside and out, they’re gonna get us out of here,” Murphy told you. “Don’t know how or when yet, but we know they’ll help us out.”

“That…doesn’t sound safe either…” They could be caught or anything worse…

“We’ll be fine, love, told ye,” Murphy said again. “We’ll get out of here and we gotta disappear again…but this time I’m not disappearing from your life like I did before, I’ll contact you once we’re out of here.”

You shouldn’t believe it…but you did. You should tell him not to do anything reckless…but you didn’t. You didn’t think he’d have listened anyway.

“Just…just be careful… and if you can’t call me again, I…it’s okay, I get it.” You sighed sadly, but you did get it…things were even a bigger mess now.

“I’ll call ye, I promise…gotta go now, next time we speak, my brother and I will be out of here.”

“Okay…take care…”

* For little more than a month, you knew nothing of the MacManus. There was nothing on the news, thankfully, and you didn’t get more from calls.

Next, one night, your phone rang.

“Hey, love, told ye I’ll call ye.”

***

N/A

So...this was not very good. But I hadn’t written in a long time and it got me weeks just to write this since it seems I barely feel like writing, so I’ll take it.

I’m sorry that I couldn’t do justice to the request.

Please, if you enjoyed this, let me know your thoughts in a comment, and as always, reblogs are more than welcome.

As always, excuse my English, it’s not my first language.

#murphy macmanus #murphy macmanus x reader #murphy macmanus/reader #murphy macmanus fanfiction #murphy macmanus imagine #murphy macmanus fic #murphy macmanus fanfic #murphy macmanus & reader

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moonylantsovs · 4 years

Text

Rescue me [ B.B ]

summary: Murphy comes back to the dropship carrying a virus that puts both your and Bellamy's life in danger so you take care of each other.

pairing: Bellamy Blake x female!reader

warnings: swearing, fluff, slight angst

prompt: “You fainted, straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention, you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”

for @stiles-o-dylan24 ‘s 1K writing challange

When you woke up in your tent this morning to Bellamy telling you there’s a search party that’s heading to the ship that crashed last night and asking you if you wanted to come with them, you definitely didn’t expect to end up cleaning John Murphy’s wounds in the dropship.

The last time you saw him was when Clarke, Bellamy and you banished him because of what happened to Charlotte.

That’s why you weren’t suprised that Bellamy stormed into the dropship as soon as he came back into camp. When he saw you cleaning John’s face with a wet towel, he clenched his jaw in pure anger “Everyone besides Derek and Connor, out! (Y/N) get away from him."

You rolled your eyes but still got up, choosing to stay inside while everyone was discussing what to do with Murphy.

After letting Clarke take over cleaning his wounds you made your way back to your tent to get some rest.

You weren’t able to sleep long before Bellamy ran into your tent “(Y/N)!”

You opened your eyes to see him looking at you with a worried expression. You let out a groan “What now?"

He scanned your face with furrowed eyebrows and asked “How are you feeling sweetheart?”

You sat up and raised your eyebrows “I’m feeling fine, what’s going--” he cut you off by cupping your cheeks frantically “Shit, (Y/N), your eyes. We have to get you to the dropship."

You whipped your eyes and looked down to see blood on your fingers “Can you tell me what’s happening?”

Bellamy sighed “The Grounders sent Murphy with biological warfare so everyone that came in contact with him has to get to the dropship because of the quarantine. You have to get there now, okay? Clarke has to check you over before you get worse.”

You nodded at him and rushed to the dropship. It was already full with delinquents sitting on the floor and throwing up or sleeping.

You weren’t feeling bad yet so you decided to help Clarke with taking care of the ones that actually felt sick.

After a while you got to the dropship door to see how the camp was doing when you saw Bellamy already standing there, his eyes focused on the dropship door, almost as if he was debating whether to go in or not.

When his eyes connected with yours, he quickly looked you over to see if you were looking okay. You looked pale and weak and he felt his heart sink at the sight.

“How are you doing?” he asked sadly.

You gave him a weak smile “I’m okay, There are kids who are doing a lot worse then I am.”

Bellamy shook his head at your stubbornness “You got enough food and water in there?”

You nodded and chuckled slightly “Yeah but some medicine would be nice.”

The boy mananged to crack a small smile and chuckled “Cute.”

In a blink of an eye, chaos started around camp, with Connor yelling at someone to get on the dropship. Things escalated quickly and everyone started attacking each other.

You sighed before rushing into the dropship to grab a rifle. When you came back outside you fired it at the air, three times making everyone turn their attention to you.

“This is that the Grounders want! They want us to turn on each other so they won’t have to kill us!” you yelled at the crowd around the dropship “We’re gonna end up killing each other!”

A guy next to Bellamy pointed his gun towards “Yeah?! Maybe start by getting back in the damn dropship!”

Bellamy clenched his jaw and grasped the kid’s gun, using the butt of it to knock him out. He turned towards you “Hate to break it to you, sweetheart, but the quarantine isn’t working.”

You were about to respond when you suddenly felt dizzy. Your legs gave out and your vision turned black. Bellamy was catching you and oicking you up, ignoring Clarke’s yells for him to stop.

He carried you into the dropship where John was already getting up from his hammock “Lay her here.”

The older Blake siblings layed your unconscious body on the hammock and kissed your forehead.

“Everything’s gonna be okay. I’m not gonna let anything happento you.” he whispers to you not carring that Murphy was standing right behind him. He didn’t care that he would probably get sick. He only cared about you getting better. Because he would never forgive himself if anything happened to you.

Even when Octavia told him to get some rest, he didn’t leave your side. He was cleaning sweat from your forehead with a wet towel when you finally opened your eyes to look up at him.

“Bell?” you whispered, confused.

Said boy sighed in relief “Yeah, it’s me. Are you feeling better?”

You nodded “Yeah, I think it’s passing.”

When you tried to get up he pushed you back down making you furrow your eyebrows “You need more rest sweetheart.”

His words made you roll your eyes but still lay down making him smile slightly.

The two of you stayed in silence for a few minutes before he spoke up “You fainted, straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention, you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”

You snorted and rolled your eyes “Glad to know you care.” you teased but his expression remained serious “You know I do.”

He kissed your forehead softly, adding in a whisper “You’re too important to me.”

You smiled softly “Come on, Blake. You aren’t getting soft on me now, are you?”

Bellamy snorted and layed next to you pulling you into his side so you can wrap your arms around his torso and rest your head on his chest “Shut up, and go back to sleep.”

#the 100 smut #the 100 imagine #bellamy blake #stilesodylan24celebrates1k #bellamy blake imagine #bellamy blake smut #bellamy blake x reader #octavia blake #john murphy #john murphy imagine #The 100

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i-also-miss-our-talks · 7 years

Note

deh headcanons (idc who) for a fem! reader who is a dancer?? :0

Why not the original three? So, in case you don’t know, I’m a dancer myself so I may or may not have gotten really carried away with these headcannons. But I hope you enjoy!

WC: 1,025 (holy shit)

Warning: Maybe like one swear word somewhere, Jared Kleinman

Masterlist

Evan

so this guy lovessssssss to watch you dance

especially when you do lyrical or contemporary

the smooth movements help calm his anxiety

like during your dance recitals and concerts, he’ll record those dances on his phone

one time he came to your competition and tried to record

but he got caught

oh no

so you had to sprint to him as soon as you got off stage so that security wouldn’t throw him out

you did have to help him through his anxiety attack afterwards because the poor boy didn’t know what was going on

you brought him to one of the empty hallways and hugged him, rocking him back and forth and wrapping your dance team jacket around him

during awards, he came on stage with you and wore your jacket

every time one of your dances got Platinum, he’d smile brightly and peck your cheek

whenever you got high gold, he give you an eskimo kiss

anything else he’d hug you tightly

and of course Evan would come with you the next day

he’d support you through all three of the long competition days

because Evan loves you

now

he tried to learn a bit of ballet on his own at one point so he could surprise you, but you caught him practicing in his room

you walked up to his room so you two could leave for a date and he was trying to do a tendu

you giggled and went to help him

“you’ve gotta uncurl your toes, Ev.”

he shrieks

cause you scared him

poor boy

anyway

he does as you said and his tendu looks a million times better

so instead of going to that movie, you two stay at his house and you teach him the basics of ballet

after a few weeks of practicing after school, Evan surprised you by lifting you up for a leap when you were practicing in the living room

you were like “whoa Evan when did you become so strong?”

“i wanted to be able to dance like you cause you’re so good at it so i tried to work on my arm strength so i could lift you sorry that’s probably annoying”

aww

sweet boy

nothing you do is annoying

because you are her little dancing Evan

and she loves you

Jared

oh my ding dang gosh

this boy

ADORES

your dancing

especially your hip-hop

this dude loves to see you pop and lock

during competitions, he will be screaming the loudest

“YES! GET IT BABY!”

the audience shushes him

“THATS MY GIRLFRIEND UP THERE! I’LL CHEER AS LOUD AS I WANT!”

Jared

pls

it’s a lyrical number

chill

he once tried to bribe the judges with five dollars

you didn’t chase him down that day

Jared wont come on stage with you for awards

instead he’ll take pictures from the audience as you hold your awards

Jared absolutely B E G S you to teach him how to tap dance

because we all know

The Insanely Cool Jared Kleinman wishes he was in Newsies

so you tried to teach him

but then gave up

because when you tried to teach him how to do a bell hop, his shoe flew off and smashed into your mirror

so no more tap dancing for Jared

but he did learn a few hip-hop moves from you

i never said he was good at them

i just said he learned them

overall, he’s a happy hip-hop boy who loves being his girlfriends biggest fan

Connor

oh my

oh my goodness

this guy

this guy right here

his favorite thing to do

oh my

is watch you on pointe

hands down

you think he liked smoking drugs?

think again

especially when you pull your feet up into Sous-sus

dang

he loves watching it

of course, he cringes every time you go up on your toes because ouch that’s gotta hurt like hell

one time when you ran out of lambs wool he sped to the store to pick you up some more so you could wear your pointe shoes during class without being in pain

now at competitions

you best believe Connor does your make up

and he helps you warm up by holding your leg up in developpe and making sure your hair doesn’t get messed up

he’s a helpful boy

all the little girls on your team love playing with Connors hair before they go on stage

it helps calm them down before they go on stage so Connor is more then willing to let them braid it

during your solo he cries

you’re just so beautiful and he can’t believe how in love with you he is

even if it’s an upbeat jazz number or a rocking tap, you know he’s standing in the wings crying

oh you didn’t know?

Connor waits backstage with you

the crew of the competitions are too scared of him to tell him to leave so they just let him stay

when you run off stage, Connor gives you a minute to breath before hugging you tightly and kissing your temple

he’s just so proud of you

aww

okay so

at awards, Connor will sit on stage with you

he’d pull you into his lap and hug your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder

every time they’d call out one of your dances, no matter what award or what you’d place, he’d press a light kiss to your neck

sweet boy

(no i don’t have a favorite. i love them all equally what r u talking about)

alright

so Connor gets you to teach him swing

man bun time!!!!!

but no seriously this boy is a natural

he’s so in synch with you and the music its beautiful

but he doesn’t take real classes or anything

you two just dance around your living room

one night you went outside and did a bunch of lifts and flips in his front yard

Zoe recorded the whole thing

Connor deleted it off her laptop

but thankfully you got a video of it before he did

you watch it every night before bed

the end

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snarkwrites · 4 years

Photo

Title: how the Irish keep warm in winter

Theme: cocoa

Fandom / Character(s):poly!Connor&MurphyMacmanus x female reader/self insert Yes. it is... Kind of a poly thing.. In that the brothers share one woman. Not each other bc I don’t do incest or m/m in fear of fucking up m/m and just because I... cannot with incest.. But.. They share one woman. Let me live.

Warnings: Swearing, hot cocoa and Irish whiskey, shenaningans that only the MacManus brothers can possibly come up with. Ice fishing.. Or attempting to, with heavy flirting / teasing mixed in.

Word Count: uhh.. 500ish, roughly

So I watched Boondock Saints sometime around Thanksgiving and this has kind of been living in my head rent free since.. Rather than write an entire fic that probably won’t do well, I’ll just.. satisfy the itch in moodboard/blurb form, hehe.

Also, again.. I made the banner for this. Don’t steal or repost.

TAGGING:

There’s actually not anybody on my Boondock Saints tag list. Wait, hol up... Do I even have one though?.. Okay.. If you want to read boondock saints fics on occasion, go and add yourself somewhere.. anywhere... on the doc linked below. Or shoot my a dm/ask on my main or this blog.

[ about my writing | masterlist | multifandom tag doc ]

“How much whiskey is in here?” I took the mug from Murphy’s hand and took a sip, promptly grimacing as the alcohol and the hot liquid it was mixed in burned its way down my throat. My eyes darted from Connor to Murphy and I bit my lip, snuggling between them as best as I could for warmth. “I don’t understand why we had to come all the way out to the middle of nowhere.”

“Shh, woman, we’re tryin t’ ice fish. Drink yer cocoa.” Murphy teased gently, his hand squeezing my thigh ever so slightly.

“We put enough in th’ cup t’ keep ya nice and warm, love. Wot? did y’ think we’d bring ya all th’ way out here and let y’ freeze? We love y’ too much for that, sweetheart.” Connor chuckled against the shell of my ear almost teasingly. They both put an arm around me, and for a few minutes, we sat there on the freezing cold log at the edge of the pond just staring up at the starry night sky. Watching the way our breath rose from our mouths in cold steamy bursts until Murphy started trying to make rings with it, making all three of us start to laugh.

Our laughter died away, leaving the quiet sounds of the woods at night. “Do either of you.. Ya know.. Ever consider lighting a fire when you’re out here doing this?”

“When we’re done and we got our catch, lass. Th’ eatin is always best with a nice little fire. Fire kind of melts th’ ice rest of the time though... So not til we’re done. Not goin t’ be too long because this is always where we make our best catches at, ain’t ‘at right, Murph?” Connor explained, giving an amused chuckle. “Did we bring a thicker blanket, brother? I think th’ little missus might be wantin’ dat.”

Murphy nodded and dug around, producing a heavy blanket, draping it around my shoulders. His lips grazing my temple as he chuckled against my ear, “Told y’ to wear th’ thicker jacket, princess. Lucky we put enough of da Jamesons in the cup to keep y’ nice and warm for an hour or so. ‘S like Connor told ye.. We’ll have our catch in no time, love, don’t fret.”

Connor mumbled against my other ear, “Then we can get y’ back to th’ cabin and get some a nice big fire and maybe even a lil body heat goin for y, lass.”

I clenched my thighs and sipped on the steamy contents of my mug trying like hell not to choke at the barrage of mental images of what awaited me later as they all literally flooded my mind….

#12daysofchristmas #12 days of christmas #connor macmanus fanfiction #connor macmanus fanfic #connor macmanus imagine #connor macmanus imagines #murphy macmanus fanfiction #murphy macmanus fanfic #murphy macmanus imagine #murphy macmanus imagines #my writing: connor and murphy macmanus #my moodboards; connor and murphy macmanus #my fics; connor and murphy macmanus

29 notes · View notes

luviedovey · 4 years

Text

the you i fell in love with

connor murphy x female!reader

a/n: not me writing a fic about mike faist’s connor murphy 2 years after he left the show...... also Connor is probably ooc

summary: you were Connor’s girlfriend who lived in the next town over, a little over a half hour away. his family didn’t know about you, no one did. he didn’t want his family or anyone he knew to scare you away. in the end, it didn’t really matter. he was gone. when the Connor Project came to be and Evan resigned from being co-president, you ran into him. you questioned him about his “friendship” with Connor and he told you everything.

set after the Murphy’s find out the truth and before the Evan/Zoe reunion at the orchard.

second person pov

warning: a few swear words, also very brief mention of depression and taking your own life, and Larry Murphy kind of being a dick

word count: 5,573

______

“Who are you exactly?” Evan questioned the girl who pulled him off to the side of the supermarket where no one else was around. To say he was a little nervous would be an understatement, he was freaking out on the inside.

“I’m so sorry! I probably scared you half to death dragging you along like that.. I just have some questions for you, if you don’t mind answering..?” You smiled at him sheepishly. Something about your awkward smile eased his mind a bit, but not enough. “No, sorry my mom actually is waiting for me by the-” “It’s about Connor!” You interrupted, looking at him through sad, heartbroken eyes. “..Please. Evan Hansen. I know you weren’t really friends with him. I know you weren’t even secret friends with him.. Because if you were, I would’ve known.”

Evan looked around before looking back at you, confused. “Who are you?” He asked for the second time. “I’m- I was Connor’s girlfriend. Y/N L/N. I met him 2 years ago at the apple orchard you guys rebuilt? We both went there because we thought that no one else would be there and that it would be the perfect place to escape. His family and classmates never knew about me because he-” you laugh slightly,” he was afraid they would take me away from him. Or that his family would fight in front of me and he’d lose his cool or that his sister would say nasty things about him to ‘spare me from being in a relationship with him’ or even that the bullies at his school would turn me against him even though he knew damn well I could never.” You stopped rambling and passed him a Polaroid picture of the two of you, sitting against the chain link fence that surrounded the old abandoned apple orchard. You were looking up at Connor with heart eyes as he smiled back down at you. A real smile. This was the real Connor Murphy.

Evan looked up from the picture at you, shocked before quickly returning it to you. “Oh my god... You must think I’m such a h- horrible person for doing all this and pretending to be best friends with your- your dead boyfriend- I’m so sorry for your loss by the way- and making up all these stories about things we never really did and starting a whole online campaign about-” “Evan!” He stopped ranting, breathing heavily. “Breathe, okay? In through your nose, out through your mouth. Relax.”

It was silent for a moment before Evan mumbled a quiet, “Thank you.”

You smiled knowingly. “Now. Mind telling me everything?”

The two of you sat in your old beat up truck, as Evan told you everything. And by everything i mean everything. He started from the very beginning, “My dad left when I was 7 so now it’s just me and my mom. She works all the time at the hospital to support us and to pay for her education- she’s studying to be a paralegal- and so I’m usually home alone. I have anxiety so I take medication and go to therapy where I have to write a letter to myself hyping myself up for the day and trying to be positive and stuff-” “’Dear Evan Hansen’...”

He looked up from his hands at you, “Yeah.. Connor had one of my letters when he- um.. he took it from me earlier that day..” “It was your therapy letter? Why did he take it from you?” “Oh! You see he didn’t actually know it was a letter to myself for therapy he just thought I was being creepy and writing about his sister in a letter to print it out where he would find it and freak out and explode or something- That wasn’t why though, I didn’t even know he was in the room with me, I thought I was alone. He signed my cast before he read my letter, though. He said, ‘Now we both can pretend we have friends.’ Which is why I thought doing what I did would be okay but it wasn’t and it never will be and I really shouldn’t justify my actions because it was-” “Evan breathe.” “Right, sorry.” “Don’t apologize, it’s okay.” “Okay sor-” You gave him a pointed look.

“O-okay...” You giggled slightly, looking out of the window at the supermarket parking lot, “So.. he ran out with your letter, pissed because he thought you were fucking with him... And then he killed himself.” “Yeah.”

“So what happened after that?” “The Murphy’s showed up in the principal’s office three days later. I knew something was wrong because Connor and Zoe both weren’t in school and I know Connor skips but it’s not likely that they would both be out on the same days. Zoe doesn’t really skip school- she’s not that kind of person.” You nodded, gesturing to get to the point. “Right, they called me into the office because Connor had my letter and my name was on it so they thought the letter was for me. I tried to tell them it wasn’t- that I was the one who wrote it, but they were in denial. They kept reading parts of my letter back to me from memory, trying to make sense of it but I couldn’t tell them- I couldn’t get through to them....” He sighed.

“They invited me over to dinner and I went because I wanted to set the record straight but when I got there, they wanted to hear everything I knew about Connor. But I didn’t know anything, so whenever they brought something up I just nodded and agreed. Zoe was getting suspicious so I started to make things up. ‘Connor loved to talk about how much he hated skiing.’ ‘Connor took us to A La Mode and we ate our ice cream in the apple orchard where we climbed trees and raced across the open fields.’ ‘We would quote songs by our favorite bands.’ ‘We’d tell jokes no one else would understand.’ All lies. And they believed them. They wanted me to keep talking, they needed me to. They were broken and I just wanted to help them. I told them that we were friends on the internet where we’d email each other to talk about our day and stuff. And Connor would use a secret email account because he knew his dad was checking his regular email, and he didn’t want anyone to know we were friends.... Now that I think about it, this kind of sounds like your story.” You laughed, lightening the mood, and nodded.

“You know, you really aren’t that far off from who Connor was, despite the fact that you were making it up as you went. He wasn’t the monster that everyone thought he was. I mean sure in 2nd grade he pushed over a printer because he had a little tantrum about being skipped for line leader, but what kid doesn’t have a tantrum at least once in their life? It definitely didn’t help that all those kids grew up, making the story sound worse than it really was. He was always angry and stand-offish because everyone in his life would say shit about him that wasn’t true or be nice to him to get close enough to learn something new about him and then turn around and make fun of him for it. He was battling depression and needed help but his family didn’t want to believe there was anything actually wrong with him. I was the only one to believe him. To believe in him. But I’m just one person, and I guess that wasn’t enough..” You trailed off. Evan awkwardly put a hand on your shoulder, rubbing it with his thumb as a way to console you.

It was silent for a moment. “I think he would’ve liked you. It would’ve taken him a while to warm up to you, but I really do think the two of you could’ve been friends.” Evan smiled slightly, before frowning. “I pretended to be his friend for so long, but Alana- she’s the co-president of the Connor Project- started getting suspicious about our friendship, saying that the letters didn’t make sense because it sounded like Connor was getting better so I showed her Connor’s ‘suicide note’-” “Dear Evan Hansen, It turns out this wasn’t an amazing day after all. This isn’t going to be an amazing week or an amazing year. Because, why would it be?”

“...Yeah. She believed me too. I told her not to show anyone because it was a really private thing, but she just said that was exactly what people needed to see. She posted it and people on the internet started to attack the Murphy’s, saying things like ‘They’re a rich family who couldn’t bother to pay for their son to get help?’ and ‘I’m not saying to do anything illegal but their house is the pale yellow house at the end of the cul de sac with a red door.’” Your hand flew to your mouth in shock. “They even leaked Zoe’s phone number and their house phone! Everything was just spiraling out of control and I didn’t know what to do. I panicked and the only thing I could think of to do was just.. them the truth. So I did and I told them everything. I wrote the letter, Connor took it from me, we weren’t really friends, and it was all a lie. I haven’t spoken to the Murphy’s since.” He fiddled with his hands in his lap and sighed. “And.. I’m scared. Scared that one day I’ll go to school and everyone will hate me or that the Murphy’s will ruin my life.. Not that I don’t deserve it, after what I did? I deserve worse.”

“Evan.. No one deserves that, especially not you. What you did wasn’t exactly the right thing to do but you had the best intentions.” He nodded silently, “What did you want to ask me earlier anyways?”

You turned, facing down at the wheel in front of you. “I wanted to ask you if you knew where he was buried.”, a tear slipped from your eye as you sighed, smiling sadly, “I didn’t exactly get to say goodbye..” “I could go with you if you’d like. To show you the way?”

“Thank you, Evan.”

___

During the ride to the cemetery, You and Evan talked, trying to lighten the mood, and quickly became best friends. The two of you didn't have so much in common but you were both very comfortable and supportive of each other. You were like the siblings neither of you had.

The two of you stepped out of the truck, and begun walking to Connor’s grave. “Oh! Hold on..” You turn back, grabbing a beautiful bouquet of red roses and pink tulips, with a small white card that said, “I’m sorry I couldn’t help you enough when you needed it, Connor. I will never forget you, mon amour. I love you, always.” Connor didn’t have a specific favorite flower but he did appreciate their meanings. Roses represent love, and tulips represent a declaration of love. You hoped that even though he was gone he would still appreciate the thought you put into it.

The two of you walked up to his grave. It was at this moment when it hit you that he was really gone forever. You dropped to your knees, carefully placing down the flowers. Tears streaming as you silently sobbed, Evan’s hand on your left shoulder and the ghost of Connor’s hand on your right.

“I’m sorry, Connor. I love you more than you’ll ever know..”

The two of you sat there in silence for a while, before agreeing to leave in case the Murphy’s decided to visit. Neither of you really wanted to run into them and have to explain who you were and why you were there. “Do you want to come over to my house? You look emotionally exhausted.” You laughed and nodded, starting up the car.

___

“Why didn’t you come to town sooner?” You sighed, “I just.. I didn’t want to believe that he was really gone, you know? And coming here, seeing his grave, and his grieving family just confirmed what I prayed wasn’t true.” You sipped on the hot chocolate in your hands, staring out of the window at the pouring rain and cloudy night sky. “Have you met them yet?” Evan mumbled, typing on his laptop on the couch beside you. He pulled up the Connor Project and read about all the many different things Alana was doing. “No.. But I feel like I should? Like I know things about Connor that would give them closure but I can’t bring myself to go over and talk to them.”

“If only there was a way for you to show them what Connor was really like so you wouldn’t have to talk to them...” It was silent for a moment, “Actually... Connor and I used to write each other handwritten letters and take a lot of pictures together..” “Well what are the odds..” he giggled, “Maybe you could give those to them? The ones that aren’t super personal?” You sat together deeply in thought.

“But I can’t exactly bring myself to just give them away... Maybe I could copy them and white out all the personal stuff? Like the things between me and Connor only, and my face and name?” Evan nodded, agreeing that that would be the best option. You’d create a box filled with things Connor wrote and pictures of when he was truly happy, then leave it on the Murphy’s doorstep. It was a safe, no-contact interaction.

___

The next night, you went over to Evan’s house with the box labeled “The Real Connor Murphy. (i’m so sorry for your loss.. i thought maybe you would like to have these to know who he really was.)” Evan gave you directions to the Murphy household. Eventually, you parked in front of the pale yellow house, all three cars were in the driveway. “You better be quick if you don’t want anyone to see you.. Just.. keep the car running, drop off the box, ring the doorbell, and book it back here and drive off. Don’t turn back.” “Okay super spy.” You laughed nervously.

You walked up to the door, placing the box neatly on the ground with a single rose and tulip tapped on the top, rang the doorbell, and ran off. You jumped into the car and drove off just as Evan, who was previously hiding away from the car window, saw the red front door begin to open.

___

“Larry!” Cynthia Murphy exclaimed, picking up the box from the front porch to the dinner table, placing it beside the small card they had found on a mysterious bouquet of flowers they found the day before against Connor’s gravestone. “What is that?” He asked, looking at it with disinterest. “I found it on the porch, it says ‘The Real Connor Murphy. I’m so sorry for your loss.. I thought maybe you would like to have these to know who he really was.’ It’s in the same handwriting as the note we found on that bouquet of flowers. It even has the same two flowers! It has to be the same person. Someone who really loved him...” “What’s inside?” Zoe asked while reading and rereading the small card.

Cynthia opened the box to find handwritten letters from Connor and a mystery girl, photos of Connor laughing, smiling, pouting, hugging and kissing someone with a scratched out face. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes. This was the real Connor, a whole different version of him that the three were completely unaware of. Seeing him like this was just so unfamiliar to them, they couldn’t believe their eyes for a moment. Zoe picked up a letter, reading it aloud,

“Dear Y/N

Things haven’t been going so well lately, my parents are always fighting, my mom pretends like there’s nothing wrong, my dad doesn’t pay attention to anyone but himself anymore, and Zoe hates me.

Not that I blame her, I hate myself too. But I don’t hate myself when I’m around you. I’m so glad to have you around. You make life just a little easier every day.

It’s harder when you’re not around, I get angry easier when I get bullied at school or when Zoe says something awful about me. I just feel like I’m an airplane about to crash, but with you around I feel like I’m flying. Smooth sailing. Floating even. You are the most perfect girl I’ve ever met.

Thank you. I love you.

Sincerely, Con”

“He.. he had a girlfriend..?” She said, in shock. The three began to shuffle through the letters, photos, and little post-it notes, putting them in piles. “These are all copied..” “Maybe whoever left them didn’t want to give the originals away..?” “Maybe because she still cares about and loves him and didn’t want to give these away. They seem so.. personal.” Cynthia picked up a post-it note,

“Tu es belle Y/N, je t'adore.”

“What does that even mean?” Zoe pulled out her phone going straight to google translate, “It’s says ‘you are beautiful, i adore you.’.. I didn’t know Connor knew french.” “He never took a class for it. Maybe he learned it on his own?” Larry picked up a photo this time, Connor was standing in front of the apple orchard’s rotting old sign in the middle of the field, fake pouting and wearing a thin little flower crown you had made him. “I didn’t know Connor had any feelings other than anger.” Cynthia hit his arm. “Wait,” Zoe said, grabbing the attention of her bickering parents, “This letter has a picture and a post-it note attached to it.”

“Dear Con,

Thank you for the painting, it’s absolutely beautiful. You are so so talented. The way you put so much thought into every detail is truly admirable. You make everything you paint so exciting and captivating, even if the thing you’re painting isn’t very exciting at all. You see the beauty in the things that most people never give a second glance.

It kind of reminds me of the way I look at you.

To most people that don’t know you, you are a “freak” or “school shooter chic”. But, when I look at you, you are none of those things. You are beautiful, you are captivating, you are perfectly imperfect. You are worth it. Don’t give up on me darlin’.

I love you.

Sincerely, Y/N/N”

Attached to the letter was a photo of the painting mentioned. It was a painting of your beaten old navy blue truck parked beside a chain link fence that blocked it off from the open field. In the background, the sun was setting in a perfect blend of yellows, oranges, and reds. It was so detailed that if you weren’t already aware that it was a painting, you would’ve probably thought it was a photo taken from a fancy camera. “It really is beautiful..” Cynthia trailed off, wiping a stray tear that fell from her eye, “He was so talented. I didn’t even know he liked to paint! I mean I knew he took an art class but because he skipped school so much, I never even thought he went..”

“I guess we really didn’t know Connor at all..” Zoe begun to get angry, “What kind of family does that?! I mean we lived with him, I grew up with him, you two raised him, and we still didn’t even know who he was?! This.. this stranger even knew more about him than we did! Do you realize how sad this is? We have to learn about our dead family member from a complete stranger because when he was alive, we were too busy pretending like he was just acting out for attention instead of actually needing help! He needed help and we didn’t give it to him! It’s not like we couldn’t afford to take him to therapy! We just pretended like he was a monster and if we ignored him, he would stop..” She took a deep breath, “Maybe we were the monsters and his anger and tantrums were his cries for help...” “Zoe..” Cynthia reached for her arm but she pulled away, running up to her room while choking back tears. “..She’s right.”

The two were quiet for a long period of time, reading and rereading every letter and every note, memorizing every photo.

Cynthia held up a photo of Connor and a girl, whose face was completely scratched out, “Who are you..”

___

The next day was a particularly warm day so you and Evan drove over to A La Mode as a victory ice cream run of sorts. You really believed in treating yourself after small, seemingly insignificant, victories such as dropping off a box of precious letters to a grieving family. They needed closure, and you were willing to give it them. Evan, despite talking about A La Mode with the Murphy’s before, had never actually been. You two talked and ate your ice cream sitting in the back of your truck, looking out at the orchard across the street. The orchard was renamed the “Connor Murphy Memorial Orchard”, which made your heart a little heavy. Another reminder that he was really gone.

In the distance, on the other side of the fence sat the Murphy’s who were packing up from their weekly picnic. As they got up to walk out of the orchard, Zoe looked across the street. “Wait a minute..” Her parents stopped walking. “What is it Zoe?” Larry asked. She pointed at the car parked across the street, “Isn’t that the car that Connor painted his girlfriend in that letter? And Evan?” They looked across the street to find the same navy blue truck and a familiar face.

Evan paled, “The Murphy’s are looking at us!” he whisper-shouted. You began to turn around, but Evan stopped you. “No don’t look!” Your head whipped back to him as your face paled, “They recognized my car..” “How could they? It was night time when you dropped off the box and the door barely begun to open as you drove away..”

You smiled sheepishly, “I may or may not have given them a picture of a painting Connor made me of my truck parked beside that exact fence...” Evan facepalmed and gave you a deadpanned look. “Well they’re starting to walk across the street now.”

You shot up, “Let’s go.” “I mean would it be so bad to meet his parents?” Evan asked as the two of you scrambled into the front seats. “I’m just.. I’m not ready to have that conversation just yet.” You reversed out of the parking spot and drove back onto the road.

“Wait!” The Murphy’s shouted to the car as it begun to drive off. “There was a girl driving. Maybe that was her?” Cynthia asked, hopefulness clear in her voice. “She was with Evan, do you think the box of letters were fake?” Larry, always the optimist. “They couldn’t be, they were handwritten in Connor’s handwriting. Even the french notes.”

Zoe thought for a moment, “Well if we’re going to find her, we should probably start with Evan’s place first.” “Who said we were going to look for her?” Larry asked, “I’m not wasting my time on a wild goose chase. She’s already shown us enough about Connor.”

Cynthia turned to her husband, “How could you say that? She could be the one thing to bring us closer to our son. Our son who took his own life because he felt that that was the only path left for him. And you don’t want to try to find her? Find closure? Honestly Larry, what is wrong with you lately!” “I’m sorry. We’ll find her.”

___

The Murphy’s found themselves at the Hansen household. They knew you were there. After all, your truck was parked in the driveway. Inside were you, Heidi, and Evan. You had just met Heidi, but she loved you. She was thrilled to find that Evan had made a friend like you. You hung out with Evan even after learning he lied about being friends with your recently deceased boyfriend, and helped him when he started to rant and breathe heavy about it. You were so kind-hearted, forgiving, and calm by nature, that he was finally comfortable around someone. You were quickly best friends.

A knock at the door startled the three of you. “Are you guys expecting anyone?”, Heidi stood up to get the door as you and Evan turned to each other. He placed a hand on your shoulder to comfort you. “I suppose now’s a good time as ever, even though I really only had 24 hours to prepare myself..” You muttered, the two of you walking towards the front door.

The Murphy’s stopped and stared at you. “Are you.. Were you Connor’s girlfriend?” Cynthia asked. You nodded slightly, rubbing your arm as a nervous habit. “I’m Cynthia, this is Larry and Zoe.. We’re Connor’s family.” “I know.”

Heidi invited them in, everyone heading to the living room. “It’s so nice to finally meet you.. We just wanted to thank you for all the letters and photos of Connor. It feels like we’re finally getting to know who he really was on the inside.” You looked up from your lap, “No offense ma’am, but shouldn’t you have gotten to know your own son when he was still around?”

Zoe laughed, awkward and uncomfortable. “I really don’t think that’s funny.. especially considering you didn’t bother to get to know him either.” You said getting defensive, sticking up for Connor. Even if he was gone, you would never stop fighting for him. You did truly love him after all. “And before you say ‘Connor wasn’t easy to talk to. He would always yell and storm off.’, just think about the fact that having a relationship with someone is a two way street. You can’t expect someone to make an effort if you don’t try to do the same.”

The three looked at her in shock. Heidi and Evan smiling sheepishly in the background. “I..”, Larry started, but trailed off, not being able to come up with a proper response. Cynthia and Zoe looked deep in thought, unable to do the same.

It was quiet for a long amount of time.

“You’re right. You’re right and I wish it wasn’t true, but it is. And the only thing we could do now is learn from our mistakes. We don’t exactly know how we’re going to do that but we’re willing to try. And we’re hoping that you could help us? Help us figure out what to do and help us learn about who Connor was?” Zoe finally spoke up, her parents nodding along in agreement.

You were trying to heal from everything that happened and them putting all their hope on you wasn’t really helping. But maybe grieving together would allow everyone to heal and remember him in a more positive way? At least you hoped.

There’s a lot of hope pinned on others here.

“I suppose helping you all would let us heal.. together?” You said, slightly questioning your own words, turning toward Evan. He shrugged, giving you a thumbs-up. “But I don’t feel comfortable talking about Connor unless Evan is around.” You paused, “It’d be nice to have a familiar face around and we’re practically best friends now.. so..” “Yes of course.” The three stood up, walking to the front door, “We’ll come back here at 11AM tomorrow and drive to the orchard for a picnic if that’s alright with the two of you?” You and Evan nodded simultaneously. “Are you allergic to anything dear?”

With the shake of your head and a quick goodbye from Evan and Heidi, the Murphy’s were off.

“Am I doing the right thing here? Connor didn’t even want his family to known I existed! And now we’re going on a picnic with them? Where I have to talk about him?” You sat down, head in your hands as a headache begun to grow. Heidi placed her hand on your shoulder gently, “It’s going to be tough right now, and it’s going to be emotionally draining, I’m sure. But, if you really think that they deserve to know who he really was, that how they perceive him is wrong, then I think you are doing the right thing. You’re helping them, you’re helping yourself, and you’re helping Connor. You did say that he wanted to change the way people saw him. And you’d be doing that for him, even if he’s not physically around to see it happen.”

“Thank you, Heidi.”

___

“It’s really nice of you to agree to meet us here, Y/N. And Evan, it’s nice to have you here too.” Cynthia smiled, putting down a blanket for the picnic. Everyone sat down in an awkward silence.

“So... is.. is there anything you wanted to know that wasn’t already in the letters?” You asked, picking at the blades of grass beside you. Evan slapped your hand away from the grass, silently scolding you in true forest ranger fashion for messing with nature. The Murphy’s turned to each other, silently debating what to say and who would say it. No surprise to you and Evan that the one to speak up was Cynthia. The past couple of hours really showed that she was the only one who seemed to care, at least a little bit, about Connor when he was around, though Zoe and Larry were trying their best now.

“Why didn’t Connor bring you around to meet the family? It really seemed like you brought so much light to his life. I mean, you brought out parts of him that we didn’t even know existed!” “We thought he was a monster...” Zoe muttered sadly.

Your heart ached for this family, they really knew nothing about him.. “Connor didn’t bring me around because he was afraid you’d all ‘scare me off’,” you laughed slightly, “And Connor may have been a monster to you, but the real Connor was never a monster, to me or to anyone in my small town. In the next town over, no one knew who Connor was or what he’d done in the past. It was like a fresh start. Which I knew he desperately needed. I mean, with all the people bullying him, hurting him physically or emotionally or both, and spreading fake rumors about him since he was in the second grade? He was angry and hurting and he didn’t know how to deal with it, so he would lash out. But wouldn’t you react the same way? Build up walls so people wouldn’t hurt you? Isolate yourself so people couldn’t get close enough to?”

It went silent again, the only sound was the wind blowing in the summer breeze and the trees rustling in the background.

“She’s right.”

Everyone looked up, faces showing some form of shock. Larry continued, “All that stuff was going on in school and we made it worse for him at home. He asked us for help and we always assumed he was doing for attention. No matter how hard we tried to be a perfect family, we never were and we probably never will be.”

Zoe wiped away a stray tear. “Even though you couldn’t save your kid, maybe there’s a way you could save someone else’s?” He turned to you with a questioning glance. “I mean you have to admit, you’re a pretty wealthy family, maybe you can spend some time donating to suicide prevention hotlines and foundations that were created specifically to help those who are suffering from depression and suicidal thoughts like Connor was? I know for a fact that Connor hated the way that he felt, and would never want anyone to go through what he’d been going through, no matter how much of an asshole they were.”

Cynthia reached over to you, placing a hand on your knee, smiling as tears fell freely from her face, from all of their faces. “That’s a brilliant idea, Y/N.”

___

The picnic went on as you told them stories of your’s and Connor’s adventures together. Jumping over the fence to lay around in the yellow fields of the old orchard, helping your mom arrange flowers in her flower shop (he would always make sure his bouquets were well thought out in their meaning), buying junk food and snacks when having movie marathons on a Saturday night, sketching and painting moments together so you two would never forget them.

With each little story, his family knew more about him and you felt as close to him as you had been before that heart-wrenching summer day.

You fell behind from the group as you all walked out of the orchard. Turning back and taking one last look at the entrance, the fields, and the growing trees of the Connor Murphy Memorial Orchard, you notice a figure dressed in black standing with his back against the fence. He gave you a smile, a genuine yet sad smile, mouthing the words “thank you” and “i love you”, before disappearing in the wind.

#connor murphy #connor murphy x reader #deh #dear evan hansen #mike faist #broadway #dear evan hansen x reader

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