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i-also-miss-our-talks · 7 years

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Stoned ~ Connor Murphy x Reader

Requested by Anonymous: I remember reading the beauty and the beast au on here, and I loved it. Could you do a Connor x Reader based on Tangled?

Here it is! Finally! I really hope you like it! Also, the title is a play on words, I guess. Because Rapunzel’s hair can get Tangled, so I thought Connor can get Stoned, you know? Anyways;

WC: 3,036

Warning: Swearing, Weed, Shitty writing, Jokes only I find funny

Masterlist

I tried to make it gender neutral! If you find a male or female pronoun for Y/N, please let me know and I’ll change it ASAP!

This is the story of how I died.

Connor, you didn’t die. Not even close.

But the ending is so bizarre it kinda felt like I died and went to a whole other shitty dimension.

Yeah, this definitely ends weird, but you didn’t die. Just tell the story, okay?

Okay, okay!

—

“Alone at last,” Connor whispered to himself as he shut the door to one of the music hall’s sound rooms. He was about to take the weed out of his pocket when a sharp scream pierced his ears. “What the fuck?!” Connor turned around to see you sitting at the piano for just a second before you threw your physics textbook at his head, proceeding to knock him out and fall against the floor.

It took you a few moments to figure out what you had just done to the poor man. But when you did, you quickly got up and locked the door. “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, he’s gonna kill me,” you whispered as you picked up your book. You ran a hand through your hair, trying to figure out what to do.

Connor stirred a bit. You gasped and hit him with your book again. “Y/N! You idiot! You hit him again,” you yelled at yourself and put the book in your bag. You grab Connor and pulled him into a chair. Carefully, you check his pockets to see if he had a water bottle, hoping to splash a bit on his face to wake him up. Instead, your fingers brushed against a plastic bag. You take the bag out of his pocket and widened your eyes at the sight of weed.

Knock, knock

“Y/N? Can you unlock the door? I need to talk with you,” Ms. DeVerre, your choir teacher, said.

You gulped. You tossed the bag of weed into the top of the piano. You pushed Connor and his chair behind the piano and put his hood over his head. You straightened out your hair and opened the door. “Hi, Ms. DeVerre.”

The teacher smiled and walked inside the room. “Hello, Y/N. How’s your vocal practice going?”

“Good, I think. I’ve been practicing really hard,” you smiled. “So, I was wondering, maybe I could skip the rest of practice? I think having two periods of practice along with my lunch is more than enough.”

Ms. DeVerre shook her head. “No. You know what your mother wants. Continue practicing. I’m running out to get some lunch. We’re having Panera! Do you just want your usual?”

You sighed and nodded. “Yeah.”

“Good! I’ll see you later.” And with that, Ms. DeVerre left the room, closing the door behind her.

You quickly locked it before dragging Connor back out. Taking the hood off his head, you continued your search for a water bottle. Luckily, you found one in his bag. You poured a bit into the palm of your hand and splashed it on his face. The boy immediately woke up.

“What? Where am I?” Connor questioned, looking around frantically till he saw you. His eye’s narrowed. “You,” he hissed and stood up, towering over you. “You threw a fucking book at me!”

You nodded. “It was just a reaction! I got scared! I didn’t mean to knock you out!”

“But you fucking did! All I wanted was a space alone and instead I got a book chucked at me!” Connor yelled. Thankfully, the sound room was built so that people outside couldn’t hear what was happening inside. Connor reached into his pocket and widened his eyes when he didn’t feel the plastic bag. “Where is it?”

“Where’s what?” you asked, trying not to look at the piano.

“Where’s my weed?” Connor growled.

“I…I hid it!” You smirked and crossed your arms over your chest, a plan forming in your mind. “I hid somewhere you’ll never find it! Unless, you want to help me with something. Then I can tell you where it is…?”

Connor frowned. “Connor. Connor Murphy. And what might this ‘something’ be?”

You smiled. “Get me out of here. It’s my dream to be out of here! I don’t care where as long as it’s not this sound room. I’ve been in here for so long!”

The long-haired boy laughed. “Yeah, no. I’m not about to break someone out of a sound room which they can just easily walk out of.”

“You don’t understand, it’s a prison. I can’t just leave!”

“Why not?”

“I…well…I can’t tell you. But if you get me out of here, take me anywhere that’s not here, I’ll give you your weed back. Deal?” You held out your hand.

Connor raised an eyebrow at your hand. “So…I just take you away from here and I’ll get my weed? Really?”

“I promise!”

Connor rolled his eyes.

You frowned. “And when I promise something, I never break that promise. Ever.”

The boy sighed and shook your hand lazily. “Fine. It’s a fucking deal.”

Connor started walking down the hallway. “Are you fucking coming or not?”

You gulped and looked down both sides of the hall. “Are you sure she wont see me?” You quickly felt the front pocket of your backpack to see if the bag of weed was still in there.

“Listen, Whitney Houston, I’m the master of stealth. She’s not gonna see you as long as you’re with me,” Connor said and leaned against the wall.

You frowned. “I’m not Whitney Houston. I’m Y/N Y/L/N.”

“Yeah, whatever. I don’t really give a shit who you are. I just want my weed back.”

Slowly, you stepped out the door, clutching your backpack strap. You took a few shaking steps out into the hallway before you burst out grinning. “Oh my gosh! This is amazing! But, Ms. DeVerre and Mom would be so mad.”

Connor raised an eyebrow as you started ranting to yourself and run around the school.

“But, I mean, they’re not gonna know so it’s not gonna matter, right? Oh no, I’m gonna be in so much trouble! But this is so fun! I’m such a horrible child, I’ll just head back. I’m never going back! I’m a despicable human being! Woo hoo! Best! Day! Ever!”

Finally, Connor found you sitting in the library behind a shelf of books. He sat next to you as you sobbed into your knees. “You know, I’m not quite sure what I just witnessed, but it’s one of the saddest fucking things I’ve ever seen.”

You sniffed and looked up at him. “W-what?”

“Now, I’m just trying to pick up on bits and pieces, but this seems like some serious stuff. Maybe you should just head back to the sound room.”

You shook your head as Connor pulled you to your feet. “B-but the deal-“

“Look, if you’re not feeling good about this we’ll just call off the deal. I’ll take you back to the room, you give me my weed, and we pretend like we’ve never met before,” Connor smirked and started dragging you back.

“N-no!” You wiggled out of his grasp. “I’m not going back! I can’t spend another day in there!”

“Oh, come on! You obviously don’t feel comfortable walking around during normal school hours! Just fucking give up!”

“I’m not gonna give up! I’m tired of being locked in there! I-“ You were cut off by the bell ringing, signaling the end of third period. You felt the ground begin to shake. “Uh, Connor? What’s going on?”

Connor frowned. “Passing time.”

You gulped and grabbed Connor’s arm, clinging to it as students flooded the hallways. “What do we do?”

“You run. We wont make it if you don’t run,” Connor said and started running through the busy students, pulling you along.

You tried to keep up, but there were just so many people it was making if difficult to hang onto him. You lost your grip on his arm and felt the students pull you towards the opposite direction. “Connor! Help me!”

The tall boy turned around and grabbed your hand, pulling you both against the hallway wall. He scowled. “This is it, then. There’s no way we can get through them if we’re pinned up like this.”

Sighing, you squeezed Connor’s hand. “I’m sorry I got you in this mess. I’m really, really sorry, Connor.”

Connor sighed. “It’s…It’s okay, Whitney Houston. But, in case something happens, you should know I’m not a school shooter. People just assume I am but I’m fucking not. Someone might as well know.”

You smiled. “Well, I…I have magic hair that glows when I sing.”

Connor’s eyes widened. “Wait what? Are you fucking serious?”

You giggled. “Nope. I just wanted to see your reaction. I actually can’t sing very well. My Mom and her best friend, Ms. DeVerre keep me locked in the sound room, thinking that if I practice enough, my voice will get better and I can make it to Broadway.”

The boy rolled his eyes. “You’re Mom sounds like an ass.”

“Kinda. But she’s still my Mom,” you shrugged and heard the bell go off again. Within a matter of seconds, the hallway cleared, leaving you and Connor alone.

“Well, guess I’m late for class again. Lucky me. You coming?” Connor asked, adjusting the strap on his bag.

You gasped. “I can go to class with you?! Really?!”

Connor rolled his eyes. “Not if you act like that you can’t.”

Nodding, you took a deep breath and calmed down. “Right. Of course. I’ll be calm, I promise.” You skipped along beside him as he trudged to class. “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe this is happening! My dream is becoming reality!” You looked over at Connor. “What about you?”

Connor glared at you. “What the fuck about me?”

“What’s your dream, Connor?”

The boy let out a low laugh. “My dream is to get my fucking weed back.”

You shrugged. “A dream’s a dream, I guess.”

“Y/N, what happened to being calm?”

“Sorry, Connor! It’s just I’m normally locked in the sound room during this hour so I don’t know what people actually do,” you explained, sitting next to him in the back corner of the room, bouncing in your seat. Connor’s class had a sub so he didn’t notice you weren’t a normal student.

“People just shut up and sleep in English. So, you should do the same,” Connor muttered before folding his arms and laying his head on his forearms.

You nodded. “Alright. Okay. I can do this,” you whispered and did as Connor instructed. Before you knew it, you both had fallen asleep.

You woke up by someone lightly shaking your shoulder. “Hey, Whitney Houston. Time to wake the fuck up. School’s over,” Connor yawned. Stretching, you grabbed your bag and followed Connor out the door. He began walking back towards the music hall before you grabbed his arm. “What the hell?”

“I’m not going back there today. Unless you don’t want your weed?” You smirked as Connor rolled his eyes.

“Fine. We have two hours in the city and then I drop you off at home. Got it?” Connor said, walking outside to his beat up truck.

You nodded and skipped next to him. “Got it!” Your smile brightened as you sat in his car. Your dream was finally coming true! You were going somewhere outside of school after school!

Connor started the car and drove off to downtown. He parked his car in the back lot of a Target. “Alright. Two hours. That’s it,” he reminded you before getting out of the car.

Two hours had quickly turned into six, as you two were prancing around the town. Connor first took you to a small cafe to get a snack, but you ended up meeting a bunch of people from school. So Connor hid off to the side, watching you. If he was being honest, it was pretty cute watching your face light up as you talked with your new friends. You two left after a while and walked around. You found a small thrift store and dragged Connor inside. Both of you played a game where you had to make the ugliest outfit. Whoever lost had to wear the outfit for the next round. You two got kicked out for being to loud as you laughed your asses off.

Connor was surprised. He was never this happy to hang with someone, let alone laugh and smile with them. But something about you just brought out the good in him. He didn’t know why, but he wanted to stay with you longer. His weed was no longer a necessity. Connor had a new dream.

After a few more hours of running around town, you two grabbed some Slurpees and went back to Connors truck. You climbed into the back seat and took a sip of your drink as Connor climbed in next to you. The sun had set so you two sat staring up at the stars. You gripped your cup tightly.

“Hey,” Connor said, looking over at you. “You okay?”

“I…don’t know,” you answered. “It’s just…I’ve been stuck practicing in that sound room after school for four years,” you sighed, looking over at him, “dreaming of what it would feel like, just spending a normal afternoon as a teenager. And it was everything I dreamed of and more!”

Connor smiled. “So, what’s the problem?”

“What do I do now?”

“Well, that’s the fun part, I guess. You get to go find a new dream,” Connor said.

You smiled and looked back up at the sky, widening your eyes as a shooting star flew by. “Whoa,” you whispered.

Connor smiled, his eyes stuck on you. “Yeah, whoa.”

You gasped. “Oh! I have something for you!” You jumped out of the trunk and ran to the passenger side. Flinging the door open, you rummaged through the front pocket of your backpack for the plastic bag. You grabbed it, shut the door, and climbed back into the trunk. “Here. This is for you. A deal’s a deal, right?”

Connor shook his head and grabbed the bag, tossing it over his shoulder. “You know what? I can just get some more fucking weed later,” he said. Connor grabbed your hand and looked at you, setting down his Slurpee.

Your eyes widened and you felt your heart rate pick up. “Connor?”

The boy cupped your cheek before leaning forward, stopping just an inch away from your lips.

You smiled and leaned forward, connecting your lips. The kiss was The Three S’s; soft, sweet, and short. Before you knew it, Connor had pulled away. You whimpered softly at the loss of his touch, but leaned back a bit. You licked your lips, tasting his cherry Slurpee that lingered there.

Connor stared at you before coughing awkwardly. “Well, I, uh, guess it’s time to drive you back to your shitty home, huh?”

You nodded and grabbed your drink, hopping out of the trunk and climbing into the passenger seat.

The ride back was silent except for the sound of Connor brushing his thumb over the top of your intertwined hands.

The next day, your Mom came to school with you, making sure you were in the sound room before leaving.

“No! Ms. DeVerre please don’t make me stay in here! I don’t want to go to Broadway now! I just want to be normal,” you begged, banging on the door, though you knew no one could hear you.

You sighed and sat against the back wall, tucking your legs into your chest. “Connor, please. If you can hear me, come save me again,” you whispered.

There was a single knock on the door before your Mom’s friend walked in. “Y/N, you need to start practicing! You’re never gonna make it to Broadway if you’re not practicing twenty-four seven,” Ms. DeVerre said.

You frowned and pulled your knees closer. “I’m not singing. I’m not going to Broadway. Well, not right now, at least. I just want to be a normal teenager.” Just then, the door flew open, reveling a tired Connor Murphy. “Y/N!”

You smiled brightly. “Connor!” You tried to run to him, but Ms. DeVerre grabbed your arm. “Let go of me!”

The choir teacher frowned. “Y/N, this is not an option. You’re leaving for an audition tonight so get practicing.”

“No!” You struggled to break free of her grasp. You looked to Connor, your face asking for help. He nodded and ran off. “What the fuck, Connor?!”

“Y/N! Stop fighting me,” Ms. DeVerre yelled.

“No! I wont stop! You and Mom have kept me locked up in here for too long! So every minute for the rest of my life I will fight!” You finally ripped your arm out of her grasp. “You two can’t control me!”

“Y/N!” You turned around and saw Connor run through the door. He grabbed you and pulled you to the side as the Principal and two teachers ran into the room. Connor hugged you as you two watched Ms. DeVerre get escorted out of the room by the adults. You look up at him in confusion. “Your Mom and Ms. DeVerre keeping you here and forcing you to fucking sing is technically Child Abuse. Weird, but true. I don’t make the fucking rules. So you’re free, I guess.”

You smiled and hugged him tightly. “Thank you, Connor.”

Connor kissed the top of you’re head. “Yeah, whatever. Hey, Y/N?”

“Hmm?”

Connor sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “This is gonna sound so fucking cheesy, but…you were my new dream or whatever.”

You giggled. “And you were mine, Connor.”

Well, you can imagine what happened next. Y/N enrolled in school full time and somehow managed to get most classes with me. To be honest, it can be really fucking annoying sometimes.

Connor.

Okay, okay. It really never gets old. And I may have paid Kleinman to hack into Y/N’s schedule so that most classes were with me.

And we lived happily ever after!

Wow, that escalated pretty fucking quickly.

You’re not denying it.

That’s cause it’s true.

#deh #dear evan hansen #connor murphy #connor #tangled #tangled au #deh x reader #dear evan hansen x reader #connor murphy x reader #deh x male!reader #deh x female!reader #dear evan hansen x male!reader #dear evan hansen x female!reader #connor x reader #connor murphy x male!reader #connor murphy x female!reader #i-also-write

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n1ghtlux · 3 years

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Stuck in between P1 [ao3]

Pairing: ghost!Connor Murphy x gn!ghost!Reader

Word count: 815

Summary: when you find yourself stuck in the afterlife you meet Connor Murphy, who's been here for longer than you have.

Warnings: some angst, reader has anxiety and other mental health issues, talking about weed and mentioning readers death briefly.

A/N: please do NOT romanticize death! You're needed and loved. If you need help, look at this post.

gif

To think you would be remembered as some "druggie who crashed their car" was beyond anything you could've imagined. Though it was incredibly thoughtless of you to drive back home after smoking weed with your friends.

Not that you would ever call yourself a "druggie". You knew what you were doing and the substance helped calm your anxiety and numbed you to the point of complete relaxation.

Only this time there was no way of getting home and no way of you crashing at your ex's place either. Not when he had female company and did the:

"I think we should call it a day",

with his hand gripping a girls' thigh tightly.

You had to get home somehow, so you got into your car and drove.

Only you never made it home.

Lesson learned.

For another time.

The "afterlife" or whatever you were stuck in was confusing. There is simply too much time to spend when you're there, but not really.

Thinking was about all you could do now.

Maybe this was your own little hell. You had spent days running after people, screaming at family, friends, anyone really. Yet, despite intense emotions following up with crashed mirrors and broken plates, your presence wasn't known to anyone.

You tried blaming the tree which you crashed into for it, but ended up leaning against it and watched the world continue on without you.

"This is my tree."

Furrowing your brows you looked to your right. The habit of thinking people are talking to you getting the best of you. Except this time there was someone staring right back at you.

Not through you, no. This guy was glaring at you, hands in his sweatshirt jacket pockets and foot tapping the grass impatiently.

You were up on your feet in an instant.

"You're dead too, aren't you?!"

You hadn't talked in forever so your voice made a terrible crack at the end, causing you to crunch your nose at yourself.

"You're sitting at my tree."

His demeanor didn't change, if your people skills didn't betray you, you would even say you had made him more frustrated. Who did he think he is?- Was?

Crossing your arms you replied in a mocking tone:

"Well, I'm sorry mr. Perfect but I died here, so I'm pretty sure this is my tree too."

He scoffed at that, a soft "fuck" leaving his lips as he brushed through his shoulder length hair with his right hand.

You started picking at the skin around your nails, a habit you hadn't even gotten rid of after your death.

The guy's gaze flickered to your hands briefly, before he sighed and walked up to you.

"Connor", his voice sounded less harsh than before. Right hand extended for you to shake.

It had been weeks since you last had any human contact and now here was - you had already forgotten his name again - willing to get to know you.

But when you went to shake his hand, you found yourself grasping at nothing but cold air.

"Guess you're new huh."

It was more of a statement than a question directed at you but you didn't really register his words.

You were staring at your hand, turning it over and tracing a wound from the accident with the fingers of your left hand.

Then you curled it into a fist, nails digging into the lifeless skin and sat back down with your back against the tree.

If it was possible, you felt even more numb and dead than before.

A cold breeze made the hairs on your arms stand as Connor sat down to your right with his hands in his lap and staring up at the sky.

"You're only able to touch others if you concentrate well enough."

You were still picking at your skin when he turned to you and put his hand on your arm.

The sensation made you suck in a breath and you looked up at him, relief evident on your face. His hand felt different on your skin than you had thought it to. There was a slight tingling sensation, like he was a vibrating ball of energy. Connor didn't feel dead at all. He felt more alive than anyone you had ever met before.

The corner of his mouth tugged up lightly at the sensation and your reaction to it. At least he was able to be helpful after his death.

He removed his hand from your arm and held it infront of you again like he did before. Knowing what he wanted you to do, you carefully slipped your hand into his now.

A huge grin forming on your face when you felt a new surge of energy course through your hand as it was firmly placed in his.

"Connor." , he nodded lightly, pushing a strand of hair out of his face in the process.

"Y/n."

{ masterlist }

#connor murphy x reader #connor murphy #deh musical #deh movie #dear evan hansen #connor Murphy imagine #ghost connor Murphy #ghost reader #connor Murphy fanfic #broadway fanfiction #Broadway imagine #Connor Murphy x gn!reader #Connor Murphy x male reader #Connor Murphy x female reader

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lemon-boy-stan · 4 years

Text

mirror room - e.h

evan and his girlfriend are dragged along by zoe, alanna and jared to an escape room course that has a theme of optical illusions. there are four rooms and three hours. each room has it's own task that will eventually lead to the occupants' escape. if you do not solve the task you will "blow up". amidst jared and the clock's pressure, supposedly neuro-typical y/n suffers from what she's normally calming her boyfriend down from.

tw: anxiety attack. pressure. mentions of distortion.

Y/N

we were supposed to go on a date but it's alana's birthday tomorrow so i guess that alana gets what she wants.

evan didn't seen too disappointed about our date's cancellation.

thankfully, he didn't appear to look relieved about it either.

he just seemed... worried. but then again, evan had anxiety.

so him being worried about our date having been cancelled wasn't worrying enough for me to text his mum in secret.

we'd even made it to the fourth room without anything distantly related to anxiety occuring.

even with all of the distortion, evan seemed to be enjoying today.

i couldn't really say the same thing about myself.

i mean, i was pretty sure that i was calm.

because otherwise evan would notice immeadietly.

i just... the lights... the noises... the fear of our fictional death...

every noise possible in the room was piling over each other in loud groans over the previous sound.

evan's sleeve.

the strap of zoe's backpack.

jared, adjusting his glasses.

the ticking of the clock.

alana's breathing.

even the colours...

the pinks and blues and greens of the neon projectors popping against the black tinted mirrors...

"our life depends on you, y/n! there's a number left! come on, seriously?" this was jared. he sounded like he was underwater.

i tried to compose myself. i knew this code pattern, i'd done it before when i was little.

i couldn't let my friends down... everyone was taking things so seriously...

tick, tick, tick...

evan's sleeve.

zoe's backpack.

jared's glasses.

alana's breathing.

tick, tick, tick...

evan uncaps his bottle from a thousand miles away...

it's so fucking loud...

tick, tick, tick...

"we have like, fifteen minutes left..." jared again.

evan sighs loudly.

"fellow agents," the robotic woman added to jared's banter, "we have fifteen minutes left to solve this case! we must get out before the enterprise explodes!"

tick, tick, tick...

"see? she totally agrees with me!" howled jared, still underwater.

"shut up, jared," said evan, his voice dangerously leveled.

they were all underwater...

the numbers in front of me on the lock started to blur.

more neon blobs...

"fellow agents, there are ten minutes left!"

"why is she so energetic about us blowing up?" asked zoe.

"no idea..." said alanna.

"hansen, if we were on an island with codes we would all be dead..."

"shut up, jared..." evan sounded both underwater and pleading.

"fourtern minutes to get that door open! would you like to use your last hint?"

"yes!" shouted jared.

"no!" yelled zoe, "no, we wouldn't! come on, n/n!"

"she's trying..." said evan quietly, making me feel a whole lot worse than he intended to.

"very well..." said the lady through the hidden speakers, "there are thirteen minutes left..."

tick, tick, tick...

"eleven minutes!"

tick, tick, tick...

"oh my god, come on!"

"i said, shut up, jared..."

tick, tick, tick...

"ten minutes to go!"

"we're literally already dead!"

"jared, seriously, shut up."

tick, tick, tick...

"you can do it n/n!"

tick, tick, tick.

"nine minutes to go!" tick, tick, tick... "oh my god... this is taking so fucking long..." tick, tick, tick... "shut up, jared..." tick... "eight minutes..." tick, tick, tick... "i give up..." tick, tick, tick, tickticktickticktick... "shut up..." hurryupshutuphurryupshutuptickticktick...

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

my hands shook and everything finally, finally went quiet.

the waves dragged me down.

tick, tick, tick...

"look, i'm sorry, i didn't mean to..."

"jared, seriously, shut up." this was not evan but alana this time.

tick. tick. tick. tick. tick. tick. tick. tick.

"evan, evan, i - i c - i can't - i can't - " tears began to form.

"hey. hey. talk to me..." evan wasn't faraway. everyone else still was but it was okay. "what can't you do?"

i exhaled but nothing came out.

"hey, babe. listen to me. what can't you do, beautiful girl?"

"i can't... i can't..."

he held me. evan hansen, held me.

and that made me feel a little bit safe.

"b - i can't - i don't know how - it won't - they won't let me breathe... evan... i can't breathe... the air, it's not... i can't breathe, why can't i fucking breathe!"

EVAN

i had no idea what to do. it was normally me who had an anxiety or panic attack.

she was normally the one comrorting me.

i took moment to think. just a second.

i went with what my gut told me (for once).

when my attacks were really bad y/n would hold me close.

she would whisper things in my hair and tell me it would be okay....

so that was what i did.

"hey," i said softly, trying my best not to freak out too, "you're okay. it's fine if you didn't solve it, you got most of it and that's all that matters. no, baby, don't listen to jared, he's talking bullshit..." i glared at him. "just... go to that place. remember?" when we were kids... the tent... the fairy lights you made me put..."

she nodded. thank god. thank fucking god.

"it's okay, baby, it's just a game..."

"yeah, we don't mind! it was still fun!" added zoe. alanna nodded.

"are you sure?" said y/n, still trembling but just a little bit.

"of course i'm sure," i replied softly. "i'll always be sure..."

calm was finally, finally restored. y/n cried into my shirt.

"i'm sorry..." she wiped the last of her tears with a sniff, "i'm sorry i couldn't do it... jared. guys... i'm really sorry..."

an explosion went off over the speakers.

"nah, it was my fault, remember? i took forever to figure out the hidden number in the css code... zoe rolled her eyes. "besides. who cares! we had fun!"

"you didn't do anything wrong..." i whispered. "i love you..." fuck, i loved her so much...

"i love you too..."

"get a room!"

so as you can probably tell deh is my new obsession (i'm reading the book and listening to the soundtrack) so requests for evan are open and i'll make a spot on my masterlist.

MASTERLIST

#evan hansen #dear evan hansen #deh #deh imagine #evan hansen x reader #tw anxiety #evan hansen x female reader #evan hansen x you #evan hansen imagine angst #deh angst #deh x reader #evan hansen x reader smut #evan hansen x reader panic attack #evan hansen fluff imagine #evan hansen angst imagine #deh angst imagine

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luviedovey · 5 years

Text

Masterlist! 💌🌿🎞

2019-2020 Masterlist

credit to whoever or wherever this gif came from,, i got it off of GIPHY bc i thought it was cute lol

fluff 💗 // angst 💢

Marvel

— peter parker x reader —

“I was blind” series 💢 | pt.1 | pt.2 | pt.3

— tony stark x daughter!reader —

the guardian angel x 💗

Broadway

dear evan hansen

— connor murphy x reader —

the you i fell in love with x 💢

#marvel #peter x y/n #peter parker x female!reader #peter parker #peter parker x reader #spiderman #iron man #tony stark x daughter!reader #tony stark #tony stank #mcu #masterlist #connor murphy #connor murphy x reader #mike faist #dear evan hansen #dear evan hansen x reader #broadway

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write-bout-idiots · 7 years

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Cuddling with Alana Headcanons

I’m writing every day the last week of the year: DAY SIX.

Day one: Christmas surprise; Jack Kelly.

Day two: La isla.

Day three: Writer!Evan Headcanons.

Day four: Writer!Evan Headcanons part 2.

Day five: Dating Jack Kelly Headcanons.

A/N: You could say this was @hey-manhattan-the-calvarys-comin‘s suggestion, so thank you so much i loved to write this! She also edited it and she’s amazing ily nina!!

• When you were just friends™ you always told her how you would like to have someone to cuddle with, so when you started dating she wanted to do it all the time.

• And you’re not mad because it distracted her from school.

• She texted you when she started studying and if she didn’t stop in four hours you will call and ask for a cuddle.

• She’d be at your place in no time.

• You know, Alana is tiny and demanding so she’s the little spoon that cuddles face to face.

• She left the Saturday’s for you two to hang out without any other responsibility, and even though she loves being outside, you always end up back on the couch cuddling.

• You always hold her hand.

• You like to snuggle in her neck, humming songs to make her laugh.

• Her hair always smells good and her skin is super smooth which means sometimes you can’t hold back soft bites. (It’s not like she minds or cares)

• She always plays with your hair and it entangles but she brushes it afterwards.

• She learned to enjoy the winter holidays by having constant movie nights, watching rom-coms under a blanket, and drinking warm drinks and eating sweets

• You always have a lot of food on the movie nights and it’s weird because you won’t pull off from the hug and end up eating over each other’s shoulder

• It’s very messy. (Again, not like you or her cares)

• Usually you pull up her shirt a little bit to trace stars on her hips and that makes her sleepy.

• One time you and she fell asleep like this in an empty, extracurricular room at school and Zoe came in and took a lot of pictures to make you mad.

• But you ended up even framing one of them and putting it up in your apartment when you moved together.

• Alana discovered that she loves pda, it makes her feel safe and you love to see her happy.

• So you always hug her from behind, hold hands and kiss her cheek every time she says something smart (she’s smart all the time so she’s always getting smooches in public)

• Once Zoe and Evan joined one of your cuddle sessions and now every time they see you two together the just jump in the hug.

• You don’t really mind because Alana loves the attention and affection

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auspicious-manner · 2 years

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Hi, could you write a bit angsty mike faist x reader where they are in relationship and reader thinks that she isn' enough pretty/fit for him, because he is a dancer and an actor? And mike comforts her about that?

i’m sorry for the slow updates, life has been so busy but i’m still around, just working at a slower pace!

this story was a hard one for me to write. not because i had writers block, but because i related deeply to some of the content in this one. i’ve struggled with body dysmorphia, overthinking, and anxiety before, and this story resonates with me and probably so many others as well. i wanted to approach it in a way that would make me feel comforted if i was actively struggling with these issues.

female reader x mike faist

warnings: anxiety, body dysmorphia, harassment from men, rude comments about body, panic attack

Perfect to Me

•

as humans, we have complex emotions and moods that sometimes seem to make zero sense whatsoever. sometimes they can be positive feelings, like love and joy. sometimes they can be negative, like jealousy and resentment. however bad or good, these emotions make us human, and are completely normal.

at least, that’s what Y/N told herself everyday. she hoped that if she kept repeating that mindset in her brain, it would start to become the truth. her mind was intricate, and her thoughts would sometimes spiral out of control. these thoughts only elevated when she met her boyfriend. all day every day, she was a conflicting mix of proud and in love, while also being down and disappointed.

Y/N couldn’t begin to find the words to describe her boyfriend, mike faist. he was everything to her. he had made a name for himself, and he was the epitome of a triple threat. she had met him shortly after he joined the cast of “dear evan hansen” on broadway, and they quickly became close. a year later, they began to date, and since they made it official two years ago, Y/N had an ongoing inner battle with herself.

mike was a star. he was the most talented person she knew. and Y/N? she didn’t think of herself as anything more than just a girl. every day, she questioned why mike chose her out of the millions of girls he could have had.

she lived with him in new york city, and worked as a paid intern at the headquarters of an up and coming fashion company. when her schedule allowed, she would visit him while on set or at a stage production of his.

one morning, she had to wake up early for a business meeting at the office, and the alarm on her smart watch woke her up at exactly six in the morning. Y/N’s eyes shot open, and she saw that mike was still fast asleep at her side. she slowly wriggled her way out of his grasp as to not wake him, stopping every few seconds to make sure he was still asleep. finally, her feet touched the cold wood below her and she peered outside her apartment window to see the sun rising above the city.

she went to the bathroom and glanced over her average features in the mirror. her once defined facial structures were starting to fall, her hips were wide, her stomach wasn’t completely flat, and her arms were looking extra big today. Y/N sighed, her feelings weighing heavily on her conscience.

she got dressed for work, putting on a tight skirt with a long sleeved blouse tucked in. she looked over herself, and saw that the fabric closely hugged her curves.

Y/N tried to sneak around mike who was still sleeping as best she could. however, when she dropped her phone on the ground in the bedroom resulting in the loudest thud possible, he shot up from bed.

“are you okay?” he asked groggily. “i heard something fall.”

Y/N frowned. “sorry mike, i just dropped my phone.”

“are you leaving?” mike asked, still squinting at her as his eyes adjusted to the morning light.

“yeah, but i’ll be back around four today.”

“okay, i’ll be home at about six. have a good day at work,” he said as Y/N walked over to the bed and leaned down to give mike a kiss.

“i’ll try. you have a good day too.”

“i love you, Y/N.”

“i love you too, mike,” she responded before leaving.

she walked out of the apartment complex and down the streets of new york to the office where she worked, which was only a few blocks away. she entered the building, being greeted by the smell of coffee, fabric, and paper. Y/N went straight to her boss’s office to collect her tasks for the day.

she knocked on his door gently before hearing a grisly “come in” from the other side. she opened it and saw her boss, named henry beauford.

beauford wasn’t known for being a kind boss. he often subjected his workers to unpaid overtime and overworking, and was unnecessarily harsh on those who worked every day to make his company grow. Y/N was afraid of him, considering one wrong move would have her blacklisted from any other fashion company in new york.

he had old, sunken eyes, and a taste for stylish suits. his hair was fading from a dull brown to a light grey, and his cheek bones remained chiseled despite his age.

beauford looked up from his desk and eyed Y/N. “good morning. i have to start our meeting in roughly…” he started, glancing at his watch. “ten minutes. go get me and anyone else here that wants coffee some coffee. i want my usual.”

Y/N nodded and quickly left the room, making her way to the coffee station on the second floor. on her way, she got four more orders to make.

she began pouring the hot coffee into cups, but was interrupted when she felt a tap on her shoulder. she turned around and saw a coworker of hers named jesse.

jesse was constantly talking to her and flirting, despite Y/N’s best attempts to shoo him away. she mentioned to him that she had a boyfriend multiple times, yet he still went after her. she was not in the mood to deal with the likes of him today.

“hey Y/N, how has your morning gone?” he asked smoothly.

“just fine, thanks jesse.”

he paused. “tomorrow night, i was going to go out to dinner with friends, but my date flaked on me. i need someone by my side for the dinner, want to come with me?” jesse asked with a smile.

“no thank you.”

“come on, i’ll pay,” he persisted.

“i said no,” Y/N said, harsher this time.

jesse’s smile fell. “i’m surprised your boyfriend hasn’t broken up with you, you aren’t necessarily all that beautiful. he could do much better, and you know it. but you’d be perfect for me. i don’t need a perfect girl.”

Y/N’s eyes widened. she knew jesse was right; mike could do so much better. however, hearing it aloud was a whole new feeling for her.

“i-i’m going to go deliver my coffees.”

she ran off, leaving jesse in the dust. she made her rounds in the office, taking her time delivering the coffees to the various employees. finally, on her last stop, she made it to beauford’s once again.

she knocked, and when the familiar “come in” sounded, Y/N entered to find beauford and jesse having a conversation. as soon as she stepped foot into the room, their eyes fell on her in a cold as ice way.

“i-is something wrong?” Y/N asked nervously, resting the cup on his desk.

beauford looked her up and down. “yes, actually. there is,” he started. jesse was smiling devilishly at the look on Y/N’s face.

“jesse brought to my attention that your outfit isn’t exactly… office appropriate,” beauford stated.

Y/N squinted her eyes. “what? this is perfectly within the dress code.”

“the clothes themselves are, but they hug your body a bit too tight. we can see all of your curves.”

Y/N looked down. she wasn’t big, but she definitely was not skinny. the curves on her stomach and hips were what she was most insecure about, and her clothes apparently highlighted the natural curvature of her body too much.

she wasn’t having any of it. “so if a skinny girl wore this outfit, it would be okay?”

“precisely. that’s why i’m going to send you home for a few days to hopefully get rid of a few of those curves.”

Y/N’s face fell from a look of anger to a look of pure horror and embarrassment. tears welled up in her eyes, and jesse sent her a sly smile. he was behind all of this because he was tired of being rejected.

at this point, her mind was completely torn on what to do. half of her wanted to fight it, give them a piece of her mind. then again, she wanted this job. it was her dream to design clothes, and this job could get her there.

Y/N gulped, trying to ignore the lump in her throat and the red on her cheeks. “okay, i’m sorry. see you in a few days.”

she turned around and walked out, holding back the tears that were trying so desperately to make an appearance.

as Y/N walked home, it felt like the streets of new york were spinning. her mind was dazed, and it felt like that until she unlocked the door to her and mike’s apartment and closed herself inside.

when she made it inside, she burst into tears. she had never felt so humiliated, torn down, and embarrassed. and the worst part was that she knew what they said was right.

Y/N ran to the bathroom and viewed herself in the mirror. her curves were very much present, and her puffy eyes added to the disillusion that she was anything less than beautiful. she continued sobbing and slid her back against the door.

her breathing was becoming irregular, and her tears slowed when she began to hyperventilate. she reached for her phone to call mike, but there was no reply.

“mike, please!” she yelled, trying it again. her heart rate quickened, and she continued gasping for air.

she tried and tried again, but stopped when she remembered that mike probably didn’t want anything to do with her. she was nothing, and he was something. he shouldn’t have to console Y/N in a moment like this.

she laid down on the floor, hoping to stop the pain in her chest and her headache. the panic attack made her feel like she needed to pass out. then, Y/N felt her body disassociate until everything went black, and she was out cold.

Y/N’s eyes slowly fluttered open, and she saw the ceiling above her. she felt the cold tile underneath her body, and she couldn’t remember why she was laying on the ground. however, she felt like she had a long, much needed nap.

she checked the time, which was five o’clock. she couldn’t believe she had slept for that long.

she knew that mike would be home in an hour. when Y/N saw a message from her boss about what day she would be coming back to work and missed calls from mike, all of what had happened in the morning came flooding back to her.

her lip quivered, and she gently cried once again. this cry wasn’t a panicked, heart-wrenching sob like her previous one was. this one was slower, more melancholic.

she sat her back against the wall and cried it out. she thought about how much she hated her appearance, and how much she felt like a disappointment compared to her boyfriend. she almost felt it’d be easier to break up with him before she got even more attached to someone she knew she shouldn’t have.

the time flew by, and before she knew it, the familiar sound of mike unlocking their apartment door came from outside the closed bathroom door. Y/N’s tears halted for a moment before continuing when she heard his footsteps.

“Y/N, i’m home,” mike announced, worry already present in his voice. Y/N tried to give a reply, but no words came out.

“Y/N? where are you? i received so many missed calls from you today.” he questioned.

finally, Y/N croaked a harsh “in here.”

the footsteps quickened, and there was a knock at the door before mike pulled open the door. he looked around and saw a hunched over Y/N pressed against the wall, still in her work clothes and eyes puffy from crying.

“oh my god Y/N, what happened?” mike asked, bending down in front of her. the concern in his voice made Y/N begin crying again. he placed his hands on her arms comfortingly.

Y/N sighed and stood up. mike stood up too, and she turned her back to him.

“what’s wrong? did i do something?” he asked, his voice getting more confused by the second.

she shook her head. “n-no. it’s not you, it’s me.”

mike frowned. “what-?”

“today at work, a male coworker of mine was fed up with me not giving him a chance. he went to my boss, and he made up a dress code rule and sent me home to lose a few pounds. all because my outfit hugged my curves too tight.”

mike turned red with anger, and his face scrunched up. “that’s it, those men can’t treat you like this. that’s ridiculous.”

mike’s face softened when he realized there was something deeper going on. “Y/N don’t let those men get to you. they don’t know what they’re talking about.”

“but the thing is they’re right,” she exclaimed, mike’s heart breaking with every word. she took a pause. “they’re right. i’m not as skinny as i could be, i’m not all that pretty, and i’m boring. and you? you’re amazing. you’re doing big things and i’m just kind of… there. you can do so much better, mike. so much better. you deserve someone good.”

mike stared back at her, and Y/N swore she saw a glimmer of tears in his eyes. he stepped closer to her. “is that really what you think?”

Y/N nodded and cried harder. “yes.”

mike wrapped her in a hug, but she didn’t hug back. she loved the feeling of being close to him, but the more distant she could be, the easier it would be to break things off.

mike pulled away, his arms lingering around her. he took his hands and wiped away her tears.

“mike, i don’t want to grow more attached than i already am. you need to go find someone else, i’m holding you back,” she pleaded.

mike pressed his hands against her cheeks and tilted her head up to make her look him in the eyes.

“i fell in love with you for a reason. do you know why?”

Y/N shook her head, and mike continued. “i fell in love with you because i didn’t like the idea of being with someone just like me. i like having a humble, regular girl. you aren’t flashy, you aren’t loud, you’re simply you. and that’s enough for me.” he removed a hand and gently used his other thumb to rub her cheek.

“but i-”

“let me finish,” mike interrupted. “you’re ambitious, brave, strong, cool, smart, and so much more. you complete me and ground me more than anyone. you keep me sane in the busiest of times. you help me so much more than you’d ever know. i need you, Y/N.”

“are you sure?” she asked innocently.

mike smiled. “i’ve always been sure. you’re perfect in my eyes, sweetheart, and i’ve always known you’re the one for me. you’re beautiful inside and out.”

“who told you i was perfect?” she asked, a small smile on her lips.

“no one had to tell me. you just are.”

Y/N leaned her head into his chest and cried some more. mike rested his hand behind her head, and wrapped the other one around her back.

she sniffled. “i’m sorry.”

“for what? you have nothing to apologize for,” mike consoled.

“i’m sorry for being obnoxious about this. today just sucked, really bad.”

“it’s my job as your boyfriend to keep you happy, safe, and comfortable. i would do this for you at any time,” he said quietly, trying not to cry in response to Y/N’s endless tears.

they stayed in their hug in the bathroom until Y/N calmed down. for her, she needed this love, and she couldn’t fathom the thought of breaking things off with him anymore. he was her rock.

#mike faist #mike faist imagine #mike faist x reader #mike faist fanfiction

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readbyred · 3 years

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Masterlist

🗡️ Heroes of Olympus/Percy Jackson

💗hoo!girls x child of hades!reader

🔮 someone assuming you're dating octavian

🧿 someone assuming you're dating alabaster

🌩️ someone assuming you’re dating jason

🛡️someone assuming you’re dating reyna

🏝️ Total Drama

🏆Priya: asking for crush advice

🏆priya talking about her crush

🥤zee: asking for crush advice

💀scary girl: asking for crush advice

🍕chase: asking for crush advice

🍕chase x reader playlist (special)

🗯️ripper: asking for crush advice

🗯️ripper x calm!mute!fem!reader

🗯️ripper talking about his crush

🗯ripper x fem!gamer!asshole/crude!reader

🧪damien talking about his crush

📝millie talking about her crush

❤️‍🩹emma talking about her crush

👑bowie talking about his crush

🧟‍♀️axel asking for crush advice

📲julia x female!reader

🎨gwen x nonbinary!introvert!goth/punk!artist!reader

🌃 Starkid

👔 paul x male!reader

👔 paul x gn!musical fan!reader

👔 paul x male!craft store owner!reader

👔paul x selfharming!reader

cooking for you: CCRP employees x gn!reader

🕰️ ted x cat parent!reader

🕰️ hurt-comfort: ted x gn!reader

🍏 red string au: wilbur x reader

💫 The owl house

💗 toh girls x self harm!reader

✨ luz’s and reader’s first kiss

💥 edric x plus size!reader [jealousy]

🪞 religious trauma: gus x masc!reader

🔮 darius x gn!blight!reader

🎼 raine x tiger hybrid!reader

🐺 hunter x previously abused!reader

🐺 hunter and best friend!healing coven!reader

🐺 hunter x nb!reader

🐺 hunter x shy!fem!human!reader

🐺 protective/jealous!hunter x shy!fem!human!reader

🐺 yandere!hunter x shy!fem!human!reader

🐺 confession: hunter x nb!reader

🐺 cuddling: hunter x shy!fem!human!reader

🐺 religious trauma: hunter x masc!reader

🐺 grief comfort: hunter x reader

🐺 surprise kisses: hunter x shy!fem!human!reader

🐺 first kiss: hunter x reader

🌔 Tangled the series

🧪 varian x fem!nilou!reader

🧪 varian x fem!reader [helping in lab]

🧪 varian x male!cass’s bestie!reader

🧪 varian x witch!reader

🧪 varian x smitten!fem!reader

🧪 varian x masc!musician!reader

🧪varian date hcs

🧪 winter oneshot: varian x fem!reader

🦉 cassandra x fem!reader

🌞modern au!rapunzel x reader

💕everyone x sick!reader

🕸️ Wednesday

🤺 wednesday x gn!angry!reader

🤺 wednesday cuddles

🎀 enid cuddles

💎 bianca cuddles

☕️ tyler cuddles

🌿 Moomins

moomin characters x traveler!gn!reader

🍃 snufkin x gn!reader cuddling

🍃 snufkin x feral!reader

🍃snufkin x human!female!reader

💍 snorkmaiden x feral!reader

💍snorkmaiden x human!female!reader

🐾 sniff x feral!reader

🐾sniff x human!female!reader

☁️moomin x human!female!reader

🍄little my x human!female!reader

📘snork x human!female!reader

🌪️stinky x human!female!reader

🎈IT

[in progress...]

📝 Dear Evan Hansen

jared x gn!reader

coming out: jared x nonbinary!reader

makeup: jared x gn!s/o

break up: jared x gn!reader

summer camp: jared x gn!reader

🕯️ Encanto

🦋 madrigals and mirabel’s s/o

🐦‍⬛ Six of Crows

🪙 dates with kaz (sleepover special)

📻 Dead Poets Society

💗 Dead poets having strong feelings for a shy!reader

🎷charlie x shy!neurodivergent!reader

🎷being friends with charlie [moodboard]

🎷college!pining!charlie x college!pining!fem!reader

📻meeks x energetic!fem!reader

#new masterlist just dropped #i will try to tag things #x reader #masterlist

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dinosaurtsukki · 4 years

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haikyuu!! characters and their fave musicals

pretty much an hc’s for funsies type of thing. which characters are absolute nerds for musicals and which ones couldn’t care less? i know not everyone likes musicals but if this is your thing, feel free to read!

Hinata: he’s one of those people who watched Shrek the Musical unironically and ended up getting really hooked on it but no way is he going to tell anyone

Kageyama: thinks that the Shrek trilogy are counted as movie musicals because ‘the characters sing and everything’. will fall asleep in a theatre so don’t bring him you’ll be disappointed

Tsukishima: loves Avenue Q and The Producers because the humor is right up his alley. also has tASTE and his fave is probs something like Hadestown because it is the best musical. loves to break down the lyrics and listens to an album non-stop when he’s obsessed

Yamaguchi: he tried to watch Grease but ended up throwing popcorn at the tv-screen because of the blatant sexism. yams is not About That. gets his recommendations from Tsukki and has never looked back

Tanaka: likes anything with awesome choreography and really cool special-effects like Hamilton or Be More Chill. when you ask him about the story though he’s like ???

Noya: doesn’t get the concept of musicals. ‘she’s singing about the guy but he’s right there??? doesn’t he hear everything????’ ‘WHY ARE THEY SINGING JUST FIGHT ALREADY’

Ennoshita: also has Taste. watches pretty much anything and loves to keep track of new productions and new casting. if you ask him about his favorite musical he’ll probably specifically mention the cast and where it was performed

Asahi: y’all are gonna hate me y’all are gonna hate me but JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR haha jk. one hundred percent a Dear Evan Hansen kinda guy because he relates to the main guy’s personality. has waving through a window on repeat

Sugawara: LOVES the classics: Les Miserables, Phantom of the Opera, Miss Saigon. knows every song and movement by heart. sings them everywhere. would not listen to anything else. also Moulin Rouge because he’s one Classy Bitch

Daichi: appreciates any good musical recommended to him but the kind of person who presses ‘shuffle’ when listening to the recording and all the fans around him die inside. does this more than once just for that reaction

Kiyoko: loves anything with awesome female roles, particularly Legally Blonde and Six the Musical. raises an eyebrow at you if you say you like Grease and you land on her list of people she would barely talk to

Yachi: practically raised on disney movie musicals. loves to watch and re-watch videos from Broadway Princess Party a lot. is basically a disney princess herself and loves to put some songs on when she cleans the house.

Kuroo: one of those people who got really into Hamilton back in the day. would sing the vocals, the back-up vocals, the chorus parts, and hum the intros. says he’s a musical fan but that’s the only one he’s watched/listened to.

Kenma: someone recommended Be More Chill to him (probably tsukki) and he ended up actually liking it. once in a while you’ll hear him humming ‘christiiiiIIiine’ under his breath. likes to listen to michael in the bathroom at 2 am

Yaku: hates musicals ever since Nekoma had a movie night and then decided to watch Lion King and lev dead-ass lifted him up over his head like what rafiki did to simba in That Scene.

Lev: another one who likes disney musicals but like, the basic ones (frozen, tangled, beauty and the beast). mostly because they’re his sister’s favorites tho. has more than once did the whole ‘do you want to build a snowman’ thing with alisa and probably his teammates

Oikawa: thinks that liking Heathers makes him edgy it doesn’t. practically paid hanamaki and matsukawa to sing Candy Store with him and using iwa as veronica. absolutely vibes to the Mean Girls musical

Iwaizumi: a hard High School Musical stan, now and forever. thinks that Ryan and Chad are definitely gay. one time oikawa was giving them a pep talk and said ‘what team?’ and iwa yelled ‘WILDCATS’ and then everybody looked at him because they KNEW they KNEW HE NEVER GOT OVER THAT PHASE--

Matsukawa: Cats. The Movie.* wrote a long-ass thread on twitter about why the female cats should be given six boob and tagged Tom Hooper. was blocked.

Hanamaki: *see above. probably had his sexual awakening when he saw Idris Elba as a sexy cat. there’s nothing gendered about a sexy cat

Kyoutani: likes the leather jacket aesthetic in Grease. looked up the lyrics to ‘Greased Lightning’ once and shut off his laptop when he saw the innuendos. may have tried to replicate the choreography at one point but fell off a table

Yahaba: a romantic at heart. has a copy of the West Side Story DvD and loves to sing ‘Maria’ and ‘One Hand, One Heart.’ he and Oikawa love to duet ‘I Feel Pretty.’ also tried to copy the choreography and sUCCEEDED

Ushijima: you’ve taken him to see an array of musicals, from the much-loved classics to the inventive modern musicals. every time, you glance at him hoping for any reaction. he always leaves the theater saying ‘it was good.’ only one musical has managed to make him crack a smile: The Muppets (the movie ver.)

Tendou: another boy with Quality Taste. is a hardcore stan of any musical by Team Starkid (also loves that they’re all on Youtube). makes so many references to them but nobody else understands. will yell ‘TIGERFUCKER TIGERFUCKER’ out of the blue

Shirabu: thinks that La La Land is Peak Taste. got angry when tendou showed him a video of ryan gosling scenes in the movie but it’s all replaced by barry, the bee from Bee Movie. now La La Land is ruined because he keeps on remembering ‘you like jazz?’ in barry’s voice

Semi: tells you that he just doesn’t watch musicals but he secretly had such a Les Miz phase. writes enjolras x reader fanfics and his longest one was 200k words. if he hears anything that vaguely sounds like ‘do you hear the people sing’, a tear will fall out of the corner of his eye

Goshiki: was looking for slime tutorials one and stumbled on ‘not hamilton just a 2 hr slime tutorial’ y’all kno what i’m talking about and watched the whole thing. was disappointed that there weren’t any slimes but is now into hamilton

Akaashi: knows and understands the peak performance quality and biblical philosophy of Jesus Christ Superstar. doesn’t tell anyone about it though because they all assume its all church music. ‘it’s not’, he sobs. ‘it’s more.’

Bokuto: akaashi recommended Jesus Christ Superstar to him and he watched it, thinking that he’d see jesus playing an electric guitar. he was very disappointed and sulked about it for a week. LOVES disney musicals though

Atsumu: was one of those kids who would look up the Harry Potter Puppet Pals videos on youtube and stumbled in to A Very Potter Musical. ever since jk rowling’s snake side came out he began accepting that fan musical as canon. likes to piss rowling off by posting screenshots of the musical and saying its from the movie

Osamu: the Disney fan but with Quality Taste. loves Hunchback of Notre Dame, Princess and the Frog, Prince of Egypt, and Anastasia (the last two aren’t disney but animated musicals). cries at the sound of Phil Collins’ sultry voice.

Kita: is in love with Phantom of the Opera because his grandmother loves listening to it. he’d sing THE ENTIRE SOUNDTRACK pretty much every day until his teammates catch him singing in the locker rooms while they were changing AND NAILING ALL OF CHRISTINE’S HIGH NOTES LIKE ITS NOTHING

Terushima: doesn’t like musicals so his friend recommended that he watch The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals by Team Starkid because of the crackhead humor. watched Robert Manion perform and ending up going on google and searching ‘does watching men move their hips real nice make me bi?’

Koganegawa: y’all are gonna be surprised but this one’s a hardcore Wicked fan. has watched all of the different castings of it. he loves to imitate Elphaba’s iconic ‘FIEEEEROOOOOOO’ line in the showers and records it, just to see if he’s close to how it sounds onstage. has Idina Menzel’s autograph

Futakuchi: bitch does nothing but roast everyone else’s musical tastes. hamilton? ‘wow, mainstream much?’ dear evan hansen? ‘psshh, basic.’ be more chill? ‘think you’re edgy or something?’ the greatest show? ‘what are you? five?’ his favorite musical is actually Cats

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! headcanons #hc's for funsies #haikyuu!! characters + their fave musicals #i watch a certain amount of musicals #and i thought this would be fun #don't mind me lowkey dragging some of y'all's musical tastes #feel free to download

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writing-of-a-british-bitch · 5 years

Text

Only Us

Fandom: 6 Underground

Specified gender: Female

Pairing: Four/Billy x reader

TW: blood, violence, swearing, One is still a bit of an ass

Genre: Angst and Fluff

Word Count:3.9K

Requests: CLOSED

Masterlist

A/N: Not the best thing I’ve written but I wanted to get something out for Ben’s birthday!!! I had no idea how to end this either, sorry. (Spot the Dear Evan Hansen reference lmao)

The sunset looked glorious from your kitchen window, your hands warmed by the cup of coffee in your hands. Scarlett rays framing your face in a tender glow. A small smile grew on your face at the tranquillity of the moment.

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to find you?" The unrecognised voice made your body tense and your hand shot out, grabbing the gun always stored in your back pocket, and aimed it at the intruder.

"Who the fuck are you?" You asked lowly, placing your drink down beside you. The man raised his hands in surrender, showing that he was of no harm to you, but you never lowered your gun. You couldn't risk it.

"Listen, my name's one. And I'm kinda dead-" He began to explain but your eyes narrowed, and you stood up.

"Bullshit. What do you want from me?" You snapped. The stranger watched with cautious eyes and took a reluctant step forward. Your hand tightened on the gun, your finger never faltering off the trigger.

"I'll tell you, just put the gun down. I'm not gonna hurt you. I promise," He stated calmly. You don't know why, but something about him told you that he was telling the truth. So gradually, you lowered the gun, putting it on the table next to you, close enough that you could reach it if you needed it. He nodded at you, appreciating your trust in him. He approached you and you took a small step back, still eyeing him.

"So, start talking," You demanded, folding your arms over your chest.

"I understand you haven't had a job since you were discharged from the army," One said, choosing his words very meticulously, so not to freak you out or sounding like a stalker, though technically, he really was one "After you won your medal of honour. The second woman in history, I believe?"

"That's right," You confirmed anxiously, preferring not to think of your military days, eyes casting down.

"Well, I'm here to offer a job, if you're willing to take it. My team need another fighter," You scoffed, picking your drink back up and taking a sip.

"I don't do that shit anymore. Enough people have died because of me," One frowned, expecting a more positive response but thinking more of her response, it made more sense that she would reject his proposal. He had to try harder.

"We help save people. Anyone that dies doesn't die in vain," One lied. It was only a white lie. You'd get used to it after a few missions.

"I already gave you my answer," You shot back shortly, brushing past him to put your now empty cup in the sink. One gently grabbed your arm, causing you to turn around, an eyebrow raised.

"One mission. That's it. You might like it," One attempted to compromise and you rolled your eyes, starting to get annoyed with his constant pestering.

"You're not gonna stop bothering me until I agree, are you?"

"Not a chance," One shook his head, resisting to urge to smirk as he realised he was getting closer to you agreeing.

"Fine. One mission."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Your funeral was full of people. A lot of your family. Tons of your old military companions. Hell, your mom even brought your dog with her. When One told you that you had to fake your death, you nearly went back on your deal. You couldn't do that to your loved ones. But eventually, you accepted that it had to be done. It was one of the hardest things since you were discharged. Watching your family and friends crying over your empty casket. It probably would've made you tear up yourself if you hadn't spent time away fighting. But even One could see that it was hard for you to watch.

"C'mon, let's go meet the team," One said quietly, placing a hand on your shoulder. But it took you a few more seconds before you followed after him, looking at your family for the last time.

---------------------------------------------------------------------- "Alright ladies and gentlemen, are you ready to meet our new member?" One called as he stepped into the caravan on the abandoned airfield.

"Finally, I get to meet someone other than you dumbasses," Five commented. Three and Two were sat next to one another, running over a map for the next mission, and they barely looked up as One entered. Four and Seven were drinking beers, and Wally was lounging over the couch with his head in Four's lap. One gestured for you to follow him, and hesitantly, you did so, awkwardly playing with your fingers as you stepped inside the caravan. You never liked having all eyes on you. That's probably why you hated receiving your medal of honour. Everyone was just watching you, wordlessly. That is until Seven rose and extended his hand.

"I'm Seven. That's Four," He pointed to the blonde with the dog on his lap "Those two with the map are Two and Three. And the girl with the book is Five," Each of them waved to you, and Five gave you a small smile. But Four couldn't stop staring.

"Alright, so, I meant to cover this with you earlier, but we all go by numbers. We don't tell each other our real names, we don't go back for one another. No strings attached to each other or the outside world. In this field of work, we can't afford to become emotionally connected. You go by Eight now," One chirped and you nodded. From everything he'd told you, you could understand why names can't be used.

"So, how many missions have you guys done?" You asked, clumsily perching yourself on the edge of the table.

"Uh, including the one we just did, two," Five replied softly, folding the corner of her page and placing the book down. Four's hands ran over Wally's head.

"T-two?" You muttered, before turning to One, "I thought you said you'd done tons of missions?"

"Yeah, that may have been a little bit of a lie, but we will go on tons of missions," One admitted and you sighed, but let out a small chuckle. You were already starting to like this team.

---------------------------------------------------------------------- One mission turned into five. And then five turned to ten. It turned out that the adrenaline rush was addictive, and after three years, you'd joined their little family. But the person you'd clicked most with was Four. At first, you'd hated each other. He was so cocky at times and it really ground your gears. Still did even now, but it was more bearable. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "Such a fucking show off," Four grumbled as you and Seven did some target practice. You had yet to miss and Four was starting to get pissed off by your accuracy.

"Did you say something, Ken doll?" You turned to Four, your gun falling to your side, eyebrows raised expectantly. Four had so much he wanted to say but when he opened his mouth to say it, he couldn't seem to let it out. Looking like a damn fish, Four just glared, folding his arms over his chest like a toddler.

"Come have a shot if you want Four," Seven offered with a smirk on his face, knowing fully well that Four was nowhere near as good a shot as you or himself.

"You know, I'm going to stick to my parkour if it's all the same to you. I'd rather practice doing my job than yours," Four commented snarkily. You let out a quiet giggle.

"I know for a fact you've used a gun on a mission before Four. What are you afraid of?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------

"So, how was Florence? Two told me a little bit about it," You asked Four, sat beside him on the couch as you picked the dirt from under your nails.

"Florence? Absolute shitshow, if I hadn't been there, more than one of us dead," Four stated cockily, shrugging his shoulders.

"Is Florence the reason there's no Six?" You asked gently, ignoring his annoying nature. Four shifted uncomfortably and silently nodded his head.

"One's still looking for a new driver. When One brought you, I thought you were gonna be the driver," He replied, diverging the conversation away from his fallen friend. "So, a medal of honour, huh?"

"Yeah. They gave me a medal for killing people for the country but would put me in prison if I killed a guy out here," You answered grimly, looking up from your nails. Four chuckled, but you only wished you were joking.

"Why'd you accept it if you didn't want it?"

"At the time, I was thrilled by the offer. I never really thought about it until after I had it," You answered shortly, folding your arms over your chest.

"You made history though, surely that's something?" Four attempted to lighten the subject, but from the grimace on your face, he could tell he wasn't succeeding any time soon.

"I guess. Not particularly thrilled about being the US army's poster girl," You glanced out the window, a part of you missing the quiet life you had before joining the Underground. But the friendships you'd made were ones you never wanted to be rid of. "So, what did you do before all of this?"

"I was a thief. Worked with a bunch of others, going all over the world and stealing some of the most priceless pieces of jewellery. That's how One found me- a robbery gone wrong. A girl on my team decided the jewellery in my mouth was more important than my life," Four answered, clearly still a tad bit petty about the whole situation. You patted his arm softly, silently telling him that it was alright to be mad. He looked up, eyes catching with your own. Neither of you said anything, but you couldn't pull your eyes from one another. You could've sworn you saw his eyes dart down to look at your lips before he cleared his throat and mumbled some excuse about needing to talk to Two before shooting off.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

"Eight, do you have eyes on the target?" One's voice whispered through the earpiece.

"Target is heading to the lower East facility now," You answered back, quietly sneaking around the corner, narrowly missing the bodyguards of the mighty, corrupted prince.

"Four, Eight, follow the target. I got a plan," Seven instructed. You could see Four between the two adjacent buildings of the pompous structure you currently were in.

"Roger that," Four replied, stopping on the edge of the building, seeing a sign that connected your building and his. He hesitated, remembering the last time he tried to cross a sign. But he was with a new group now. It'd be okay. So with a heavy sigh, he began making his way across as you crept through the facility, both of you following after the royal and his guards. In the corner of your eye, you spied two isolated guards dropping, probably Seven working his magic.

Four climbed down from the sign, meeting you near to the door the Prince had entered, three bodyguards stood outside the front. You both crouched, waiting for Three and Five to compose the distraction so you guys could get in. One was busy disabling the security cameras, while Seven took out the occasional bodyguard from his position, just close enough to get to you if things got messy. Two was meant to follow after Three and Five, but when they opened the door, they were rather Two-less. Four could guess that something had gone wrong or she was handling something that Three had fucked up - that was normally how it worked. Four and you exchanged a look as Five approached the guards, and Three stood politely behind her. The two guards straightened, glaring down at the pair, one of them grabbing his gun.

"You're not permitted to be here. We're going to have to ask you to leave," One of them said, completely monotone, but a harsh look on his face.

"I was sent here for the Prince. A little present, if you will," Five winked at the guard. The two guards exchanged a look, one of them raising his eyebrows. They moved closer to the pair, leaving a big enough gap for you and Four to get to the door.

"And you?" The other asked, looking at Three.

"I'm her escort. I doubt the Prince would want his gift to come damaged," Three answered smoothly. You and Four looked at each other and nodded, beginning to move forward. Three watched you both carefully, making sure the guards didn't turn around. As soon as you and Four got inside, both him and Five attacked.

When you got inside, you and Four both hid behind some of the furniture. The teenage, only 17, Prince was talking to two politicians. He was planning to murder his sister so he would become heir to the throne and these politicians were trying to help him. You snuck around the circular room, hiding behind couches and tables.

"Four and Eight have made it inside. Bodyguards are down," Five commented, knowing you to wouldn't be able to make any noise when you got inside.

"Eight, you need to plant the listening device on the desk in front of the Prince. Four, you have to distract the politicians and the Prince so she can plant the listening device. It's up to you guys now. Once they're distracted, Four you gotta get out there. You'll be on your own from then on, Eight, "One repeated the plan, and you and Four nodded at each other from opposite sides of the room.

You carefully stepped as close to the desk as you could get without being seen as Four edged back to the door, opening it and slamming it, before hiding again. The Prince and Politicians looked at the door cautiously but continued on with their conversation after a few seconds of reluctance. There wasn't anything to throw and he had nothing on him to make noise.

"Five and I are back at the car with Seven," Three stated over the earpiece. So much for the help, if it got messy

"Me and One are on our way," Two added. It really WAS just you and Four now.

Four knew he'd have to call out and make a run for it. All the guards were out, so it was the safest possibility for both him and you. He looked over at you one more time before he let out a yell.

"Hey! Over here, your majesty!" The three men shot up, and the Prince called for his security. Your head snapped to Four with wide eyes, as he began sprinting, opening the door and bolting out, the two politicians running after him. The Prince paused before walking out after them and shutting the door behind him, going to find out where his bodyguards had gone. You sighed quietly.

"The distraction has been taken, planting the listening device now," You whispered over the earpiece, planting the device on the desk, and one on each of the men's coats. You ran to the door, peaking your head out to see if the coast was clear. When you saw no one, you snuck out, heading towards the stairs and sprinting down them. It was only when you got to the exit, the car so close, with your team waiting inside, that your heart stopped. A hand grabbed your hair and yanked you back. You let out a yelp in pain. The car's tinted window hid their faces, but you could tell they were all surprised, and, you hoped, concerned. The person behind you used your hair to pull you back to their chest, pinning your hands behind your back, a knife coming to rest on your throat. You gulped, fearfully, shooting a desperate look to the people in the car.

"Quite a clever stunt you and your friends pulled. But you can't pull the wool over my eyes," A cold voice spoke in your ear. The Prince. You felt the blood in your veins freeze. "I know trickery when I see it. I could hear the fight outside. I know your friends took my guards out. I just set the trap for you. And you fell straight into it," You were terrified. This guy was clearly bordering on the edge of insanity and you were scared of what he'd do to you. Tears were so close to escaping your eyes, but when the car in front of you started up and drove off, you couldn't fight them off. "I've been wanting a new play toy for a while. Let's have some fun, shall we?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------

"One, stop this fucking car!" Four screamed from the back seat, Two and Three have to hold him back from attacking One.

"I've told you, she wasn't careful enough. We can't risk everything we've built for one member,"

"One, I swear to fucking god if you don't turn this car around I will post all the pictures of us and tell everyone that we aren't dead. I will tell them EVERYTHING we've done! Now turn this fucking car around right now!" The air was tense. Four had never been so hysterical about something. One showed no signs of turning the car around so Five grabbed the steering wheel, causing the car to wobble.

"What are you fucking doing?" One yelled, setting the car straight again.

"One, we're going back to get her. We can't risk everyone finding out about us. So do as he fucking says you dumb bastard," Two said, and although she spoke a lot more calmly than Four had, they both held the same venom in their voices. One looked in the rearview mirror and saw that Seven, Five and Three were all glaring at him. Realising he was outnumbered, One let out a loud groan, before sharply turning the car, causing everyone to jolt to the side.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

"Get your dirty hands off me," You screamed as two of the Prince's guards, who'd finally woken up, held your arms back.

"You might as well save your voice, no one can hear you," The Prince stated, shooting you a disgusted look. He came right up to your face and you sneered at him before spitting on him. He stumbled back, wiping his face.

"You little bitch!" He snapped before pulling his arm back and punching you in the nose. You moaned as pain spread all around your nose. You could already feel it bleeding, he'd probably broken it. Fantastic. Another punch landed in your gut before you had time to recover and you lost your balance and fell to your knees, coughing at the impact, the two guards still holding your arms. You looked up at him through your hair and he smirked before calling another guard over with a curl of his finger.

"Why don't you teach this little bitch a lesson. Make sure she'll remember it for a long LONG time."

---------------------------------------------------------------------

The car had barely stopped when Four jumped out, not taking the time to wait for the rest of the team as he ran inside. He stepped over the unconscious bodies of bodyguards and the team spread out, looking for the Prince.

"I have eyes on Eight. Higher Western facility, near the politicians' office," The instant Seven's voice spoke the directions, Four sprinted so fast he nearly tripped over his own feet.

Seven had his gun pointed at one of the bodyguard's head, and Two, who joined them a few seconds later, pointed her gun at the other bodyguard. Four watched with baited breath as the pair took their aim. Two bullets flew through the air and the two bodyguards dropped, and your arms dropped weakly to your sides. They'd definitely broken a few things. It hurt to even lookup. The Prince and the remaining bodyguard, the one who had taken the time to torment you, looked around, confusion written on their faces. One and Two ran up to the two remaining men as Four rushed to your side and picked you up, knowing you wouldn't be able to run. You gripped onto him tightly, fear gripping onto every bone in your body. He and Five raced back to the car, needing to get you looked at as soon as possible. Eventually, you blacked out, and all you felt was Four's hand clutching yours desperately.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

They hadn't broken anything but your nose, but the bodyguard had given you two black eyes, some bruised ribs and a few cuts all over from the ring he was wearing when he hit you. Every time you stood, your entire body ached. Four was there to help you through it, of course, taking your hand and guiding you to and from places. One was still pissed off at Four for making him stop the car, potentially jeopardising the mission. And you were just as angry at him for even CONSIDERING leaving you behind.

"Look, I never wanted to leave you behind, Eight," One reasoned "But you have to understand that the team comes before the individual."

"Without the individuals, there'd be no fucking team, One! You left me to die there!" You hissed, slamming your drink down on One's coffee table. You'd come to his trailer to try and have a civil discussion, but everything he said seemed to get under your skin.

"You messed up, and you paid for it!" One shot back, shrugging off your response.

"If you had been me in that situation, would you want to be left alone?" You asked sharply, folding your arms over your chest. One looked at you and looked down again, not giving you an answer. "That's what I thought. When you're ready to apologise to me, you know where to find me," You made your way over to the door and exited, closing it behind you. Four was waiting for you like he said he would be, and you could tell from how red his face was, he had heard the whole conversation. And he wasn't happy. "C'mon let's go to your trailer."

---------------------------------------------------------------------

"He acts like his fucking big brother, getting to decide who comes who goes, who lives, who dies," Four ranted furiously, pacing around the trailer. He'd been there, he knew EXACTLY how you must have felt in that situation. He'd just been foolish enough to believe that One had learnt from the last time.

"Four, he's just a rich asshole. C'mere," You beckoned him from your spot on his couch. Hesitantly, Four came to sit next to you and you curled up next to him "I don't want to talk about him. I just want you here with me. Us and only us."

Four smiled down at you tenderly, pressing a kiss to your forehead and wrapping his arm around you. You rested your head on his chest, feeling how fast his heart was beating. It made you laugh. He was so sweet.

"You're such a softie," Four teased but he pulled you closer to him, leaving no space between you.

"You love it, Four," You responded quietly, voice muffled by his jumper.

"Billy."

"What?"

"My name's Billy," He corrected and you rested your chin on his chest to look up at him. You grinned and Billy nearly felt his heart melt.

"That's a cute name," You mumbled sweetly "I'm (Y/N)," Billy didn't say anything but he rested his head on top of yours, burying his nose in your hair, just appreciating your touch an comfort. He'd tell you someday. How he felt. But right now, he was happy just being near you. That was enough for him.

Send an ask if you’d like to be added to my tag list

Tags: @writingfortoomanyfandoms @metaphorical-love-for-a-car@queens-n-roses @freaky-dcaky @yourealegendfred@fierce-bab@dusthas-beenbitten @bensroger @strangeandwonderfulconcepts@babebenhardy@benhardyjones @silvver-rose

#phoebe writes #ben hardy #6 underground #ben hardy x reader #four x reader #four #billy #billy x reader #one #two #three #five #six #seven

280 notes · View notes

i-also-miss-our-talks · 7 years

Note

deh headcanons (idc who) for a fem! reader who is a dancer?? :0

Why not the original three? So, in case you don’t know, I’m a dancer myself so I may or may not have gotten really carried away with these headcannons. But I hope you enjoy!

WC: 1,025 (holy shit)

Warning: Maybe like one swear word somewhere, Jared Kleinman

Masterlist

Evan

so this guy lovessssssss to watch you dance

especially when you do lyrical or contemporary

the smooth movements help calm his anxiety

like during your dance recitals and concerts, he’ll record those dances on his phone

one time he came to your competition and tried to record

but he got caught

oh no

so you had to sprint to him as soon as you got off stage so that security wouldn’t throw him out

you did have to help him through his anxiety attack afterwards because the poor boy didn’t know what was going on

you brought him to one of the empty hallways and hugged him, rocking him back and forth and wrapping your dance team jacket around him

during awards, he came on stage with you and wore your jacket

every time one of your dances got Platinum, he’d smile brightly and peck your cheek

whenever you got high gold, he give you an eskimo kiss

anything else he’d hug you tightly

and of course Evan would come with you the next day

he’d support you through all three of the long competition days

because Evan loves you

now

he tried to learn a bit of ballet on his own at one point so he could surprise you, but you caught him practicing in his room

you walked up to his room so you two could leave for a date and he was trying to do a tendu

you giggled and went to help him

“you’ve gotta uncurl your toes, Ev.”

he shrieks

cause you scared him

poor boy

anyway

he does as you said and his tendu looks a million times better

so instead of going to that movie, you two stay at his house and you teach him the basics of ballet

after a few weeks of practicing after school, Evan surprised you by lifting you up for a leap when you were practicing in the living room

you were like “whoa Evan when did you become so strong?”

“i wanted to be able to dance like you cause you’re so good at it so i tried to work on my arm strength so i could lift you sorry that’s probably annoying”

aww

sweet boy

nothing you do is annoying

because you are her little dancing Evan

and she loves you

Jared

oh my ding dang gosh

this boy

ADORES

your dancing

especially your hip-hop

this dude loves to see you pop and lock

during competitions, he will be screaming the loudest

“YES! GET IT BABY!”

the audience shushes him

“THATS MY GIRLFRIEND UP THERE! I’LL CHEER AS LOUD AS I WANT!”

Jared

pls

it’s a lyrical number

chill

he once tried to bribe the judges with five dollars

you didn’t chase him down that day

Jared wont come on stage with you for awards

instead he’ll take pictures from the audience as you hold your awards

Jared absolutely B E G S you to teach him how to tap dance

because we all know

The Insanely Cool Jared Kleinman wishes he was in Newsies

so you tried to teach him

but then gave up

because when you tried to teach him how to do a bell hop, his shoe flew off and smashed into your mirror

so no more tap dancing for Jared

but he did learn a few hip-hop moves from you

i never said he was good at them

i just said he learned them

overall, he’s a happy hip-hop boy who loves being his girlfriends biggest fan

Connor

oh my

oh my goodness

this guy

this guy right here

his favorite thing to do

oh my

is watch you on pointe

hands down

you think he liked smoking drugs?

think again

especially when you pull your feet up into Sous-sus

dang

he loves watching it

of course, he cringes every time you go up on your toes because ouch that’s gotta hurt like hell

one time when you ran out of lambs wool he sped to the store to pick you up some more so you could wear your pointe shoes during class without being in pain

now at competitions

you best believe Connor does your make up

and he helps you warm up by holding your leg up in developpe and making sure your hair doesn’t get messed up

he’s a helpful boy

all the little girls on your team love playing with Connors hair before they go on stage

it helps calm them down before they go on stage so Connor is more then willing to let them braid it

during your solo he cries

you’re just so beautiful and he can’t believe how in love with you he is

even if it’s an upbeat jazz number or a rocking tap, you know he’s standing in the wings crying

oh you didn’t know?

Connor waits backstage with you

the crew of the competitions are too scared of him to tell him to leave so they just let him stay

when you run off stage, Connor gives you a minute to breath before hugging you tightly and kissing your temple

he’s just so proud of you

aww

okay so

at awards, Connor will sit on stage with you

he’d pull you into his lap and hug your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder

every time they’d call out one of your dances, no matter what award or what you’d place, he’d press a light kiss to your neck

sweet boy

(no i don’t have a favorite. i love them all equally what r u talking about)

alright

so Connor gets you to teach him swing

man bun time!!!!!

but no seriously this boy is a natural

he’s so in synch with you and the music its beautiful

but he doesn’t take real classes or anything

you two just dance around your living room

one night you went outside and did a bunch of lifts and flips in his front yard

Zoe recorded the whole thing

Connor deleted it off her laptop

but thankfully you got a video of it before he did

you watch it every night before bed

the end

181 notes · View notes

allforhader · 4 years

Text

A Pianist and A Hitman

Barry Berkman x (F) Reader

Warnings: Language

“Alright alright. Listen up” Gene calls everyone to quite down at the stage watching them take their seats. “Next week’s showcase is going to be something. So this week, we are going to test out our vocals”

“Oh my god, are we doing musicals?!” Sally smiles big watching Gene nod.

Everyone was pumped except for Barry, let alone trying to become just a decent actor what makes them think he can sing. Gene walks off to the side of the stage pushing back a bit of the curtain gesturing over Y/N who finally catches the attention of everyone.

“Guys this is Y/F/N Y/L/N. She’s going to be the pianist playing all your songs for the next week’s showcase. Y/N is going to be here for every rehearsal and if you need her for after hours practice. Ask her. Not me. I’m looking at you Jermaine”

Jermaine rolls his eyes before immediately talking to Sasha and Natalie about doing a musical number that has three parts. Sally turns to Barry with a huge smile on her face insisting on a duet as his attention was on elsewhere.

“You alright if I step out for half an hour Y/N?”

“Yes sir”

“Alright. Be right back” As soon as Gene left, Y/N places herself in front of the piano that was placed the night before on the stage. Surprised everyone just noticed it being there.

Y/N was about to ask if anyone has a song in mind when she was swarmed by a few of the actors.

“Okay okay...one at a time please?” Y/N asks with a nervous smile.

When it came to Sally and Barry’s turn, Y/N looks at the two seeing two completely different expressions. Sally was excited to do musicals finally and Barry was more worried about the fact that he can’t sing. Y/N found herself staring at Barry and his curious expression when Sally went on and on about songs from Cats, Heathers, and a few from movies which Y/N isn’t a huge fan of but she’s only there to accompany with the piano.

“How about Only Us?”

“Only Us?”

“It’s a song from Dear Evan Hansen. Between the main female and male lead” Y/N states before starting to play the opening of the song to give him an idea. “Do you know the lyrics Sally?”

“Yes! By heart!”

“And...you can follow along with me...?”

“Barry” Barry smiles catching a subtle blush resting on Y/N’s cheeks.

“Alright. Just listen first. Then you can try with Sally” Y/N states as she thinks to herself about the lyrics before sighing to herself. “Start from “What do you say?” “

Sally smiles resting her laptop with the open lyrics for Barry as she clears her throat.

“What do you say?”

“I never thought there’d be someone like you who would want me”

“Well” Sally laughs as Barry’s attention from her turns to Y/N.

“So I give you ten thousand reasons to not let me go. But if you really see me. If you like me for me and nothing else” Y/N gave Barry a look to join her in singing his part.

“Well, that's all that I've wanted for longer than you could possibly know” Barry sings with Y/N catching Sally off guard along with Y/N. “So it can be us. It can be us. And only us”

Sally clicks record on her laptop to review this later as Y/N started smiling.

“And what came before won't count anymore or matter. We can try that” Barry and Y/N sang together.

“It's not so impossible” All three sang as the next line Y/N cut herself out to hear Barry by himself.

“Nobody else but the two of us here” Barry locks eyes with Y/N when he sings that line seeing the hint of pink emerge on Y/N’s cheeks causing the same reaction.

“Cause you're saying it's possible” The two sang as Y/N watches Sally rest her hand on Barry’s cheek making him face her when they sang.

“We can just watch the whole world disappear” Sally smiles and continue to when she sings directing it to Barry.

Y/N continues to play for the rest of the song as the whole class watches the two of them sing this duet. Once the song finishes and Y/N stops playing, the classic slow clap that came from Gene was heard first before the rest of the class including Y/N joins the applause for the two.

“Barry! Who the fuck knew you could sing like that?!” Gene smiles resting both hands on Barry’s shoulders. “You my good sir. Are going to be the star of the showcase with this duet.”

“Yes!” Sally cheers before embracing Barry after Gene releases himself from him to walk to Y/N’s side.

“You are quite the helper” Gene pats Y/N’s back as she hasn’t drawn her attention away from the two in front of her until she snapped herself back into reality smiling up at Gene. “I know your not a student of mine, but it’d be an honor if you could do a piece for our showcase. The great pianist is also a great singer”

“Oh. Gene I can’t-“

“Come on! It’ll be fun” Sally couldn’t help but intrude as Y/N gave a nervous look until-

“You are a great singer Y/N. The more the merrier for the showcase right Mr. Cousineau?” Barry exchanges a smile with Y/N as Gene nods agreeing.

Once the class was over, Y/N stayed in for a moment to collect her things. She sat at the piano starting to play the piece she’s thinking about singing and that’s “I Dreamed a Dream” from Les Misérables. Right before Y/N was going to sing-

“Hey” Barry greets walking back into the stage room catching Y/N’s attention. “Sorry if I was..”

“No no! It’s fine Barry. What’s up?” Y/N closes the keys before looking up at Barry as he comes closer to the piano.

“Uh. The others are getting drinks and I was w-wondering if you’d like to tag along?” Barry rubs the back of his neck nervously as Y/N smiles before grabbing her bag.

“Sure, why not?” Y/N continues to smile as Barry couldn’t help but return it. He started to admire the smile of someone he just met that day.

But it felt like he’s known her forever.

“That was fucking amazing Barry” Nick states handing Barry his drink as Y/N sat beside him. “You should honestly do a solo instead of a duet with Sally man”

“Hey don’t give him the idea” Sally laughs as Natalie rolls her eyes handing Y/N and her their drinks.

“You could always ask Mr. Cousineau to do more than one song in the showcase”

“I Uh. Think I’ll just stick with the duet with Sally” Barry laughs nervously watching Y/N down her drink for a reason only she knows.

“So, Y/N?” Sally smirks looking at Y/N giving off a very territorial kind of aura. “How do you know Mr. Cousineau?”

“Broadway” Y/N crosses her arms giving a look at Sally as Natalie and Sasha perk up when she said that.

“As actors?”

“Well. He was in the audience and I was substituting for the main pianist”

“What play?” Jermaine asks as Barry watches how tense Y/N got the more Sally and the others stared at her.

“The King and I, Uh I-“

“I’m going to get some air, the bar is kind of stuffy at the moment” Barry blurts gesturing for Y/N to come with him.

“Yeah. I’m gonna join you on getting fresh air”

“Well you two better come back when the karaoke machine is finally set up”

“Sure Nick” Barry smiles before walking with Y/N outside the front of the bar.

Once they were outside, Y/N immediately sat on the curb sighing with some relief. Barry checked who was messaging him reading Fuches as he immediately ignored it and sat down beside her looking at her upset expression.

“Everything alright?”

“Yeah, just confused I guess”

“Confused about what...?”

“Actors are a bit intimidating, that’s why I don’t work with them often. I’m just a pianist.”

“Then why’d your agree to do this for Mr. Cousineau?”

“When a friend comes to you for help, you don’t always have to say no” Y/N held herself rubbing her arms to warm herself up. “Besides. Knowing Gene? Who doesn’t owe him some kind of a favor?”

“You got a point there...” Barry laughs slightly before taking off his coat and draping it comfortably on Y/N’s shoulders.

“Thanks” Y/N blushes slipping in her arms through the sleeves hugging herself. “So...If you don’t mind me asking...”

“Go ahead?”

“What’s up with you and that Sally girl?”

“She’s just my acting partner”

“Oh thank god” Y/N quickly covered her mouth after saying that, she felt a bit embarrassed as she quickly stood to her feet. “I guess downing my drink earlier hit faster than...I expected. But hey. That’s not how alcohol works. At least I think it doesn’t” she continued to ramble as Barry got up from the curb before grabbing Y/N’s shoulders.

“Calm down”

“Sorry”

“No need...to apologize”

Y/N stood still staring at Barry as he felt an urge and immediately acted upon it. He grabs her face gently pressing his lips against hers. The sudden action should’ve made Y/N resist, but she didn’t. She enjoyed what was happening. When they parted, Y/N’s phone started ringing catching her off guard a bit. She ends it quickly before opening her contacts handing Barry her phone.

“Gotta keep in contact right?” Y/N smiles watching Barry plug in his phone number before handing his phone back.

“Of course” Barry returns the smile about to lean in for another kiss when they were interrupted by the rest of the actors heading out.

“See yeah later alligator” Y/N smirks putting her hands in his coat jacket before heading out.

——

“I told you never to come here”

“Barry. You never said where this is until I figured it out myself. Trust me. It wasn’t that fucking hard”

“Leave Fuches. Before the show starts”

“You better answer that call Barry”

“Over my dead body” Barry snaps walking into the building.

Fuches scoffs before leaving the premises, giving the man very limited space.

After one fantastic showcase, everyone was congratulating each other and the audience had a few recruiters that went up to a few of the students making Gene very proud. Y/N watches Barry talk to a few of them, she couldn’t stop staring that Gene caught on.

“Do you like one of my students Y/N?”

“Gene—You can’t just ask that”

“Well the locked gaze says otherwise. I’m an excellent observer” Gene laughs sitting with Y/N on the piano bench as they were now just people watching. “I know I’m not your father but-“

“You’ll have my back if anything?”

“Damn. Y/N is a mind reader too? What can’t you do?”

“Act” Y/N laughs along with Gene as the two were soon approached by Barry.

“Now that’s my queue” Gene smiles escorting himself out as Barry took the empty seat.

Y/N smiles noticing the rose in Barry’s hand. “Did you get that from somebody?”

“No. I got it for you.” Barry smiles handing it off. “You were excellent”

“Excuse me? The closing duet between you and Sally was beyond excellent. Absolutely stunning” Y/N smiles at Barry as he sneaks a kiss happily.

The pianist and the hitman, what more could happen.

#bill hader #bill hader x reader #barry x reader #barry hbo #barry berkman x reader #barry block x reader #barry block #barry berkman #bill hader gifs

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luviedovey · 4 years

Text

the you i fell in love with

connor murphy x female!reader

a/n: not me writing a fic about mike faist’s connor murphy 2 years after he left the show...... also Connor is probably ooc

summary: you were Connor’s girlfriend who lived in the next town over, a little over a half hour away. his family didn’t know about you, no one did. he didn’t want his family or anyone he knew to scare you away. in the end, it didn’t really matter. he was gone. when the Connor Project came to be and Evan resigned from being co-president, you ran into him. you questioned him about his “friendship” with Connor and he told you everything.

set after the Murphy’s find out the truth and before the Evan/Zoe reunion at the orchard.

second person pov

warning: a few swear words, also very brief mention of depression and taking your own life, and Larry Murphy kind of being a dick

word count: 5,573

______

“Who are you exactly?” Evan questioned the girl who pulled him off to the side of the supermarket where no one else was around. To say he was a little nervous would be an understatement, he was freaking out on the inside.

“I’m so sorry! I probably scared you half to death dragging you along like that.. I just have some questions for you, if you don’t mind answering..?” You smiled at him sheepishly. Something about your awkward smile eased his mind a bit, but not enough. “No, sorry my mom actually is waiting for me by the-” “It’s about Connor!” You interrupted, looking at him through sad, heartbroken eyes. “..Please. Evan Hansen. I know you weren’t really friends with him. I know you weren’t even secret friends with him.. Because if you were, I would’ve known.”

Evan looked around before looking back at you, confused. “Who are you?” He asked for the second time. “I’m- I was Connor’s girlfriend. Y/N L/N. I met him 2 years ago at the apple orchard you guys rebuilt? We both went there because we thought that no one else would be there and that it would be the perfect place to escape. His family and classmates never knew about me because he-” you laugh slightly,” he was afraid they would take me away from him. Or that his family would fight in front of me and he’d lose his cool or that his sister would say nasty things about him to ‘spare me from being in a relationship with him’ or even that the bullies at his school would turn me against him even though he knew damn well I could never.” You stopped rambling and passed him a Polaroid picture of the two of you, sitting against the chain link fence that surrounded the old abandoned apple orchard. You were looking up at Connor with heart eyes as he smiled back down at you. A real smile. This was the real Connor Murphy.

Evan looked up from the picture at you, shocked before quickly returning it to you. “Oh my god... You must think I’m such a h- horrible person for doing all this and pretending to be best friends with your- your dead boyfriend- I’m so sorry for your loss by the way- and making up all these stories about things we never really did and starting a whole online campaign about-” “Evan!” He stopped ranting, breathing heavily. “Breathe, okay? In through your nose, out through your mouth. Relax.”

It was silent for a moment before Evan mumbled a quiet, “Thank you.”

You smiled knowingly. “Now. Mind telling me everything?”

The two of you sat in your old beat up truck, as Evan told you everything. And by everything i mean everything. He started from the very beginning, “My dad left when I was 7 so now it’s just me and my mom. She works all the time at the hospital to support us and to pay for her education- she’s studying to be a paralegal- and so I’m usually home alone. I have anxiety so I take medication and go to therapy where I have to write a letter to myself hyping myself up for the day and trying to be positive and stuff-” “’Dear Evan Hansen’...”

He looked up from his hands at you, “Yeah.. Connor had one of my letters when he- um.. he took it from me earlier that day..” “It was your therapy letter? Why did he take it from you?” “Oh! You see he didn’t actually know it was a letter to myself for therapy he just thought I was being creepy and writing about his sister in a letter to print it out where he would find it and freak out and explode or something- That wasn’t why though, I didn’t even know he was in the room with me, I thought I was alone. He signed my cast before he read my letter, though. He said, ‘Now we both can pretend we have friends.’ Which is why I thought doing what I did would be okay but it wasn’t and it never will be and I really shouldn’t justify my actions because it was-” “Evan breathe.” “Right, sorry.” “Don’t apologize, it’s okay.” “Okay sor-” You gave him a pointed look.

“O-okay...” You giggled slightly, looking out of the window at the supermarket parking lot, “So.. he ran out with your letter, pissed because he thought you were fucking with him... And then he killed himself.” “Yeah.”

“So what happened after that?” “The Murphy’s showed up in the principal’s office three days later. I knew something was wrong because Connor and Zoe both weren’t in school and I know Connor skips but it’s not likely that they would both be out on the same days. Zoe doesn’t really skip school- she’s not that kind of person.” You nodded, gesturing to get to the point. “Right, they called me into the office because Connor had my letter and my name was on it so they thought the letter was for me. I tried to tell them it wasn’t- that I was the one who wrote it, but they were in denial. They kept reading parts of my letter back to me from memory, trying to make sense of it but I couldn’t tell them- I couldn’t get through to them....” He sighed.

“They invited me over to dinner and I went because I wanted to set the record straight but when I got there, they wanted to hear everything I knew about Connor. But I didn’t know anything, so whenever they brought something up I just nodded and agreed. Zoe was getting suspicious so I started to make things up. ‘Connor loved to talk about how much he hated skiing.’ ‘Connor took us to A La Mode and we ate our ice cream in the apple orchard where we climbed trees and raced across the open fields.’ ‘We would quote songs by our favorite bands.’ ‘We’d tell jokes no one else would understand.’ All lies. And they believed them. They wanted me to keep talking, they needed me to. They were broken and I just wanted to help them. I told them that we were friends on the internet where we’d email each other to talk about our day and stuff. And Connor would use a secret email account because he knew his dad was checking his regular email, and he didn’t want anyone to know we were friends.... Now that I think about it, this kind of sounds like your story.” You laughed, lightening the mood, and nodded.

“You know, you really aren’t that far off from who Connor was, despite the fact that you were making it up as you went. He wasn’t the monster that everyone thought he was. I mean sure in 2nd grade he pushed over a printer because he had a little tantrum about being skipped for line leader, but what kid doesn’t have a tantrum at least once in their life? It definitely didn’t help that all those kids grew up, making the story sound worse than it really was. He was always angry and stand-offish because everyone in his life would say shit about him that wasn’t true or be nice to him to get close enough to learn something new about him and then turn around and make fun of him for it. He was battling depression and needed help but his family didn’t want to believe there was anything actually wrong with him. I was the only one to believe him. To believe in him. But I’m just one person, and I guess that wasn’t enough..” You trailed off. Evan awkwardly put a hand on your shoulder, rubbing it with his thumb as a way to console you.

It was silent for a moment. “I think he would’ve liked you. It would’ve taken him a while to warm up to you, but I really do think the two of you could’ve been friends.” Evan smiled slightly, before frowning. “I pretended to be his friend for so long, but Alana- she’s the co-president of the Connor Project- started getting suspicious about our friendship, saying that the letters didn’t make sense because it sounded like Connor was getting better so I showed her Connor’s ‘suicide note’-” “Dear Evan Hansen, It turns out this wasn’t an amazing day after all. This isn’t going to be an amazing week or an amazing year. Because, why would it be?”

“...Yeah. She believed me too. I told her not to show anyone because it was a really private thing, but she just said that was exactly what people needed to see. She posted it and people on the internet started to attack the Murphy’s, saying things like ‘They’re a rich family who couldn’t bother to pay for their son to get help?’ and ‘I’m not saying to do anything illegal but their house is the pale yellow house at the end of the cul de sac with a red door.’” Your hand flew to your mouth in shock. “They even leaked Zoe’s phone number and their house phone! Everything was just spiraling out of control and I didn’t know what to do. I panicked and the only thing I could think of to do was just.. them the truth. So I did and I told them everything. I wrote the letter, Connor took it from me, we weren’t really friends, and it was all a lie. I haven’t spoken to the Murphy’s since.” He fiddled with his hands in his lap and sighed. “And.. I’m scared. Scared that one day I’ll go to school and everyone will hate me or that the Murphy’s will ruin my life.. Not that I don’t deserve it, after what I did? I deserve worse.”

“Evan.. No one deserves that, especially not you. What you did wasn’t exactly the right thing to do but you had the best intentions.” He nodded silently, “What did you want to ask me earlier anyways?”

You turned, facing down at the wheel in front of you. “I wanted to ask you if you knew where he was buried.”, a tear slipped from your eye as you sighed, smiling sadly, “I didn’t exactly get to say goodbye..” “I could go with you if you’d like. To show you the way?”

“Thank you, Evan.”

___

During the ride to the cemetery, You and Evan talked, trying to lighten the mood, and quickly became best friends. The two of you didn't have so much in common but you were both very comfortable and supportive of each other. You were like the siblings neither of you had.

The two of you stepped out of the truck, and begun walking to Connor’s grave. “Oh! Hold on..” You turn back, grabbing a beautiful bouquet of red roses and pink tulips, with a small white card that said, “I’m sorry I couldn’t help you enough when you needed it, Connor. I will never forget you, mon amour. I love you, always.” Connor didn’t have a specific favorite flower but he did appreciate their meanings. Roses represent love, and tulips represent a declaration of love. You hoped that even though he was gone he would still appreciate the thought you put into it.

The two of you walked up to his grave. It was at this moment when it hit you that he was really gone forever. You dropped to your knees, carefully placing down the flowers. Tears streaming as you silently sobbed, Evan’s hand on your left shoulder and the ghost of Connor’s hand on your right.

“I’m sorry, Connor. I love you more than you’ll ever know..”

The two of you sat there in silence for a while, before agreeing to leave in case the Murphy’s decided to visit. Neither of you really wanted to run into them and have to explain who you were and why you were there. “Do you want to come over to my house? You look emotionally exhausted.” You laughed and nodded, starting up the car.

___

“Why didn’t you come to town sooner?” You sighed, “I just.. I didn’t want to believe that he was really gone, you know? And coming here, seeing his grave, and his grieving family just confirmed what I prayed wasn’t true.” You sipped on the hot chocolate in your hands, staring out of the window at the pouring rain and cloudy night sky. “Have you met them yet?” Evan mumbled, typing on his laptop on the couch beside you. He pulled up the Connor Project and read about all the many different things Alana was doing. “No.. But I feel like I should? Like I know things about Connor that would give them closure but I can’t bring myself to go over and talk to them.”

“If only there was a way for you to show them what Connor was really like so you wouldn’t have to talk to them...” It was silent for a moment, “Actually... Connor and I used to write each other handwritten letters and take a lot of pictures together..” “Well what are the odds..” he giggled, “Maybe you could give those to them? The ones that aren’t super personal?” You sat together deeply in thought.

“But I can’t exactly bring myself to just give them away... Maybe I could copy them and white out all the personal stuff? Like the things between me and Connor only, and my face and name?” Evan nodded, agreeing that that would be the best option. You’d create a box filled with things Connor wrote and pictures of when he was truly happy, then leave it on the Murphy’s doorstep. It was a safe, no-contact interaction.

___

The next night, you went over to Evan’s house with the box labeled “The Real Connor Murphy. (i’m so sorry for your loss.. i thought maybe you would like to have these to know who he really was.)” Evan gave you directions to the Murphy household. Eventually, you parked in front of the pale yellow house, all three cars were in the driveway. “You better be quick if you don’t want anyone to see you.. Just.. keep the car running, drop off the box, ring the doorbell, and book it back here and drive off. Don’t turn back.” “Okay super spy.” You laughed nervously.

You walked up to the door, placing the box neatly on the ground with a single rose and tulip tapped on the top, rang the doorbell, and ran off. You jumped into the car and drove off just as Evan, who was previously hiding away from the car window, saw the red front door begin to open.

___

“Larry!” Cynthia Murphy exclaimed, picking up the box from the front porch to the dinner table, placing it beside the small card they had found on a mysterious bouquet of flowers they found the day before against Connor’s gravestone. “What is that?” He asked, looking at it with disinterest. “I found it on the porch, it says ‘The Real Connor Murphy. I’m so sorry for your loss.. I thought maybe you would like to have these to know who he really was.’ It’s in the same handwriting as the note we found on that bouquet of flowers. It even has the same two flowers! It has to be the same person. Someone who really loved him...” “What’s inside?” Zoe asked while reading and rereading the small card.

Cynthia opened the box to find handwritten letters from Connor and a mystery girl, photos of Connor laughing, smiling, pouting, hugging and kissing someone with a scratched out face. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes. This was the real Connor, a whole different version of him that the three were completely unaware of. Seeing him like this was just so unfamiliar to them, they couldn’t believe their eyes for a moment. Zoe picked up a letter, reading it aloud,

“Dear Y/N

Things haven’t been going so well lately, my parents are always fighting, my mom pretends like there’s nothing wrong, my dad doesn’t pay attention to anyone but himself anymore, and Zoe hates me.

Not that I blame her, I hate myself too. But I don’t hate myself when I’m around you. I’m so glad to have you around. You make life just a little easier every day.

It’s harder when you’re not around, I get angry easier when I get bullied at school or when Zoe says something awful about me. I just feel like I’m an airplane about to crash, but with you around I feel like I’m flying. Smooth sailing. Floating even. You are the most perfect girl I’ve ever met.

Thank you. I love you.

Sincerely, Con”

“He.. he had a girlfriend..?” She said, in shock. The three began to shuffle through the letters, photos, and little post-it notes, putting them in piles. “These are all copied..” “Maybe whoever left them didn’t want to give the originals away..?” “Maybe because she still cares about and loves him and didn’t want to give these away. They seem so.. personal.” Cynthia picked up a post-it note,

“Tu es belle Y/N, je t'adore.”

“What does that even mean?” Zoe pulled out her phone going straight to google translate, “It’s says ‘you are beautiful, i adore you.’.. I didn’t know Connor knew french.” “He never took a class for it. Maybe he learned it on his own?” Larry picked up a photo this time, Connor was standing in front of the apple orchard’s rotting old sign in the middle of the field, fake pouting and wearing a thin little flower crown you had made him. “I didn’t know Connor had any feelings other than anger.” Cynthia hit his arm. “Wait,” Zoe said, grabbing the attention of her bickering parents, “This letter has a picture and a post-it note attached to it.”

“Dear Con,

Thank you for the painting, it’s absolutely beautiful. You are so so talented. The way you put so much thought into every detail is truly admirable. You make everything you paint so exciting and captivating, even if the thing you’re painting isn’t very exciting at all. You see the beauty in the things that most people never give a second glance.

It kind of reminds me of the way I look at you.

To most people that don’t know you, you are a “freak” or “school shooter chic”. But, when I look at you, you are none of those things. You are beautiful, you are captivating, you are perfectly imperfect. You are worth it. Don’t give up on me darlin’.

I love you.

Sincerely, Y/N/N”

Attached to the letter was a photo of the painting mentioned. It was a painting of your beaten old navy blue truck parked beside a chain link fence that blocked it off from the open field. In the background, the sun was setting in a perfect blend of yellows, oranges, and reds. It was so detailed that if you weren’t already aware that it was a painting, you would’ve probably thought it was a photo taken from a fancy camera. “It really is beautiful..” Cynthia trailed off, wiping a stray tear that fell from her eye, “He was so talented. I didn’t even know he liked to paint! I mean I knew he took an art class but because he skipped school so much, I never even thought he went..”

“I guess we really didn’t know Connor at all..” Zoe begun to get angry, “What kind of family does that?! I mean we lived with him, I grew up with him, you two raised him, and we still didn’t even know who he was?! This.. this stranger even knew more about him than we did! Do you realize how sad this is? We have to learn about our dead family member from a complete stranger because when he was alive, we were too busy pretending like he was just acting out for attention instead of actually needing help! He needed help and we didn’t give it to him! It’s not like we couldn’t afford to take him to therapy! We just pretended like he was a monster and if we ignored him, he would stop..” She took a deep breath, “Maybe we were the monsters and his anger and tantrums were his cries for help...” “Zoe..” Cynthia reached for her arm but she pulled away, running up to her room while choking back tears. “..She’s right.”

The two were quiet for a long period of time, reading and rereading every letter and every note, memorizing every photo.

Cynthia held up a photo of Connor and a girl, whose face was completely scratched out, “Who are you..”

___

The next day was a particularly warm day so you and Evan drove over to A La Mode as a victory ice cream run of sorts. You really believed in treating yourself after small, seemingly insignificant, victories such as dropping off a box of precious letters to a grieving family. They needed closure, and you were willing to give it them. Evan, despite talking about A La Mode with the Murphy’s before, had never actually been. You two talked and ate your ice cream sitting in the back of your truck, looking out at the orchard across the street. The orchard was renamed the “Connor Murphy Memorial Orchard”, which made your heart a little heavy. Another reminder that he was really gone.

In the distance, on the other side of the fence sat the Murphy’s who were packing up from their weekly picnic. As they got up to walk out of the orchard, Zoe looked across the street. “Wait a minute..” Her parents stopped walking. “What is it Zoe?” Larry asked. She pointed at the car parked across the street, “Isn’t that the car that Connor painted his girlfriend in that letter? And Evan?” They looked across the street to find the same navy blue truck and a familiar face.

Evan paled, “The Murphy’s are looking at us!” he whisper-shouted. You began to turn around, but Evan stopped you. “No don’t look!” Your head whipped back to him as your face paled, “They recognized my car..” “How could they? It was night time when you dropped off the box and the door barely begun to open as you drove away..”

You smiled sheepishly, “I may or may not have given them a picture of a painting Connor made me of my truck parked beside that exact fence...” Evan facepalmed and gave you a deadpanned look. “Well they’re starting to walk across the street now.”

You shot up, “Let’s go.” “I mean would it be so bad to meet his parents?” Evan asked as the two of you scrambled into the front seats. “I’m just.. I’m not ready to have that conversation just yet.” You reversed out of the parking spot and drove back onto the road.

“Wait!” The Murphy’s shouted to the car as it begun to drive off. “There was a girl driving. Maybe that was her?” Cynthia asked, hopefulness clear in her voice. “She was with Evan, do you think the box of letters were fake?” Larry, always the optimist. “They couldn’t be, they were handwritten in Connor’s handwriting. Even the french notes.”

Zoe thought for a moment, “Well if we’re going to find her, we should probably start with Evan’s place first.” “Who said we were going to look for her?” Larry asked, “I’m not wasting my time on a wild goose chase. She’s already shown us enough about Connor.”

Cynthia turned to her husband, “How could you say that? She could be the one thing to bring us closer to our son. Our son who took his own life because he felt that that was the only path left for him. And you don’t want to try to find her? Find closure? Honestly Larry, what is wrong with you lately!” “I’m sorry. We’ll find her.”

___

The Murphy’s found themselves at the Hansen household. They knew you were there. After all, your truck was parked in the driveway. Inside were you, Heidi, and Evan. You had just met Heidi, but she loved you. She was thrilled to find that Evan had made a friend like you. You hung out with Evan even after learning he lied about being friends with your recently deceased boyfriend, and helped him when he started to rant and breathe heavy about it. You were so kind-hearted, forgiving, and calm by nature, that he was finally comfortable around someone. You were quickly best friends.

A knock at the door startled the three of you. “Are you guys expecting anyone?”, Heidi stood up to get the door as you and Evan turned to each other. He placed a hand on your shoulder to comfort you. “I suppose now’s a good time as ever, even though I really only had 24 hours to prepare myself..” You muttered, the two of you walking towards the front door.

The Murphy’s stopped and stared at you. “Are you.. Were you Connor’s girlfriend?” Cynthia asked. You nodded slightly, rubbing your arm as a nervous habit. “I’m Cynthia, this is Larry and Zoe.. We’re Connor’s family.” “I know.”

Heidi invited them in, everyone heading to the living room. “It’s so nice to finally meet you.. We just wanted to thank you for all the letters and photos of Connor. It feels like we’re finally getting to know who he really was on the inside.” You looked up from your lap, “No offense ma’am, but shouldn’t you have gotten to know your own son when he was still around?”

Zoe laughed, awkward and uncomfortable. “I really don’t think that’s funny.. especially considering you didn’t bother to get to know him either.” You said getting defensive, sticking up for Connor. Even if he was gone, you would never stop fighting for him. You did truly love him after all. “And before you say ‘Connor wasn’t easy to talk to. He would always yell and storm off.’, just think about the fact that having a relationship with someone is a two way street. You can’t expect someone to make an effort if you don’t try to do the same.”

The three looked at her in shock. Heidi and Evan smiling sheepishly in the background. “I..”, Larry started, but trailed off, not being able to come up with a proper response. Cynthia and Zoe looked deep in thought, unable to do the same.

It was quiet for a long amount of time.

“You’re right. You’re right and I wish it wasn’t true, but it is. And the only thing we could do now is learn from our mistakes. We don’t exactly know how we’re going to do that but we’re willing to try. And we’re hoping that you could help us? Help us figure out what to do and help us learn about who Connor was?” Zoe finally spoke up, her parents nodding along in agreement.

You were trying to heal from everything that happened and them putting all their hope on you wasn’t really helping. But maybe grieving together would allow everyone to heal and remember him in a more positive way? At least you hoped.

There’s a lot of hope pinned on others here.

“I suppose helping you all would let us heal.. together?” You said, slightly questioning your own words, turning toward Evan. He shrugged, giving you a thumbs-up. “But I don’t feel comfortable talking about Connor unless Evan is around.” You paused, “It’d be nice to have a familiar face around and we’re practically best friends now.. so..” “Yes of course.” The three stood up, walking to the front door, “We’ll come back here at 11AM tomorrow and drive to the orchard for a picnic if that’s alright with the two of you?” You and Evan nodded simultaneously. “Are you allergic to anything dear?”

With the shake of your head and a quick goodbye from Evan and Heidi, the Murphy’s were off.

“Am I doing the right thing here? Connor didn’t even want his family to known I existed! And now we’re going on a picnic with them? Where I have to talk about him?” You sat down, head in your hands as a headache begun to grow. Heidi placed her hand on your shoulder gently, “It’s going to be tough right now, and it’s going to be emotionally draining, I’m sure. But, if you really think that they deserve to know who he really was, that how they perceive him is wrong, then I think you are doing the right thing. You’re helping them, you’re helping yourself, and you’re helping Connor. You did say that he wanted to change the way people saw him. And you’d be doing that for him, even if he’s not physically around to see it happen.”

“Thank you, Heidi.”

___

“It’s really nice of you to agree to meet us here, Y/N. And Evan, it’s nice to have you here too.” Cynthia smiled, putting down a blanket for the picnic. Everyone sat down in an awkward silence.

“So... is.. is there anything you wanted to know that wasn’t already in the letters?” You asked, picking at the blades of grass beside you. Evan slapped your hand away from the grass, silently scolding you in true forest ranger fashion for messing with nature. The Murphy’s turned to each other, silently debating what to say and who would say it. No surprise to you and Evan that the one to speak up was Cynthia. The past couple of hours really showed that she was the only one who seemed to care, at least a little bit, about Connor when he was around, though Zoe and Larry were trying their best now.

“Why didn’t Connor bring you around to meet the family? It really seemed like you brought so much light to his life. I mean, you brought out parts of him that we didn’t even know existed!” “We thought he was a monster...” Zoe muttered sadly.

Your heart ached for this family, they really knew nothing about him.. “Connor didn’t bring me around because he was afraid you’d all ‘scare me off’,” you laughed slightly, “And Connor may have been a monster to you, but the real Connor was never a monster, to me or to anyone in my small town. In the next town over, no one knew who Connor was or what he’d done in the past. It was like a fresh start. Which I knew he desperately needed. I mean, with all the people bullying him, hurting him physically or emotionally or both, and spreading fake rumors about him since he was in the second grade? He was angry and hurting and he didn’t know how to deal with it, so he would lash out. But wouldn’t you react the same way? Build up walls so people wouldn’t hurt you? Isolate yourself so people couldn’t get close enough to?”

It went silent again, the only sound was the wind blowing in the summer breeze and the trees rustling in the background.

“She’s right.”

Everyone looked up, faces showing some form of shock. Larry continued, “All that stuff was going on in school and we made it worse for him at home. He asked us for help and we always assumed he was doing for attention. No matter how hard we tried to be a perfect family, we never were and we probably never will be.”

Zoe wiped away a stray tear. “Even though you couldn’t save your kid, maybe there’s a way you could save someone else’s?” He turned to you with a questioning glance. “I mean you have to admit, you’re a pretty wealthy family, maybe you can spend some time donating to suicide prevention hotlines and foundations that were created specifically to help those who are suffering from depression and suicidal thoughts like Connor was? I know for a fact that Connor hated the way that he felt, and would never want anyone to go through what he’d been going through, no matter how much of an asshole they were.”

Cynthia reached over to you, placing a hand on your knee, smiling as tears fell freely from her face, from all of their faces. “That’s a brilliant idea, Y/N.”

___

The picnic went on as you told them stories of your’s and Connor’s adventures together. Jumping over the fence to lay around in the yellow fields of the old orchard, helping your mom arrange flowers in her flower shop (he would always make sure his bouquets were well thought out in their meaning), buying junk food and snacks when having movie marathons on a Saturday night, sketching and painting moments together so you two would never forget them.

With each little story, his family knew more about him and you felt as close to him as you had been before that heart-wrenching summer day.

You fell behind from the group as you all walked out of the orchard. Turning back and taking one last look at the entrance, the fields, and the growing trees of the Connor Murphy Memorial Orchard, you notice a figure dressed in black standing with his back against the fence. He gave you a smile, a genuine yet sad smile, mouthing the words “thank you” and “i love you”, before disappearing in the wind.

#connor murphy #connor murphy x reader #deh #dear evan hansen #mike faist #broadway #dear evan hansen x reader

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