#correct me if im wrong but i cant believe they didnt even think about it

[vorareromantic]

being autistic -> 🫠

vent in tags

[meowzilla93]

The people need little known facts about Baxter! Just like random headcannons, like what's his favorite holiday and why, etc. etc. Basically please just tell me more about this silly little man :)

*cracks knuckles*

me? talk about my favourite love interest in OL:BA?

Thought you'd never ask :P

favourite holiday? we already know his favourite season is fall cause nostalgia, and I almost wanna think that eventually Thanksgiving is his holiday

you absolutely know why but if i must elaborate

he is just so damn thankful for being able to reconnect with people he truly cared for, and that those people didnt give up on him; if MC romanced him, all the more thankful he has someone he can trust and rely on for the rest of his life, and that he can provide that back

but it wasnt always and only after Step 4; he needs to reconnect first for this to eventuate

and you just know that he will love hosting and cooking; any excuse to learn new recipes and show off his skills

before step 4 though? i dont think he had one, and thats his parents fault

any sort of events like these he had to attend with his family and be the 'expected perfect son' which he loathed

i do believe this is canon (pls correct if wrong) but i truly do believe he did not have any friends at his private school, and actively hated going

rebel Baxter? he sure was in his own way

spare periods between classes; he wandered off grounds to a spot where he could avoid the pompous populace

talk back to teachers? you can guarantee that; just more in that incheek way where they couldnt really punish him for what he said

can see him being the type to screw around in class and just be a bit of a bother to the teachers and students, but he was an A+ student all the way

guarantee that when asked to answer questions in class, if he was in the right sort of mood, straight up makeup facts just for the lols

(his parents might have put a stop to that real quick though)

mans was a brat we know this, and it was making the OLNF friends that made him question his life and his upbringing more

this is a touch more sad, but i think early on, he didnt really understand his parents position on things like the LBGTQIA+ community and such until he saw people he cared about be treated poorly by them, or heard what they had to say behind closed doors

i think this truly broke him and is what started the rifts in his friendships as he didnt know how to approach this (he is a kid, we cant expect him to know)

but what he did know, he NEVER wanted to be like his parents, and this is when he started his plan on moving to Virginia for uni

ahem, lets get back to some light hearted sweet stuff

i recon he went full platinum white once - pure white hair (you cannot take this away from me) but the upkeep of that was more insane than just handling black

favourite flower! rose. come on. even Cove said it in Step 1: Fancy!

though if we must choose a second option, Lupine

it has that really pretty purple colour (his second favourite colour after black and white) and its symbolism is very much on par with what he truly wants from life

google that shit, and tell me im wrong

100% reads smut; Im talking like Victorian era smut (Johanna Linsday, Amanda Quick type stuff)

October is his favourite month - the world around him was covered in that beautiful auburn colour

He loves pumpkin spiced lattes (with oat milk of course)

PRESENTS! oh oh when its Christmas time, this is the hardest thing for him because he doesnt just wanna buy something random, it needs to have meaning

You wanted to go see a museum? here are some tickets

Missed this movie when it was screening? Here is the Extended Release with all the additions DVD

You have a favourite flower or plant that you can never really have cause it doesnt grow in the climate you live in? In a frame you received a pressed and dried version of it, so you can always have it with you

.....i need to stop otherwise ill just keep going

(pls dont stop asking me though, ill talk about Baxter till death and will make a million more posts)

[fcknstar]

hi hi, can you do more dating Harry Osborn headcanons for tasm 2 Harry?

,, love me "

harryosborn x reader

a.n : sorry for being very inactive, i got some requests and m working on it.

warnings :

**lowercase intended**

meeting you has to be one of the greatest gifts hed ever received

younger him would pray for the most beautiful girl to be in love with him, to find him someone like him

" oh god, if youre there please hear me out. mom told me about soulmates and its like this pair being meant to be together and i want to find mine. i want her to be pretty and be like me so that we have alot of similarities. “ harry prayed hard and hoped to find someone that was meant to be his. after a few years, harry prayed again. “ so i learnt that we cant choose who our soulmates the way we want them and should just accept them with open hearts, so id want to find my soulmate before anything bad happens to me or her…or him? i dont know. god, please open both of our hearts when we cross paths. “ 

harry believed in the read string myth which originated in japan. harrys mother would constantly tell him about finding soulmates and it intrigued harry. despite seeing and hearing his parents fight and quarrel day and night, harry was determined to find love which can reverse a curse which he didnt want to run in the family. 

when harry first met you, he found you annoying, someone who was tad bit cheery for his liking. over time hed grow fond of you. which ended up in you dating him.

id like to think that you have a part time job as a barista at a cafe down the block. harry would often often visit you and have a drink, while watching you work. 

hed love to drop his things and just look at you. he is often afraid that the day when he has to leave, he wouldnt be able to fully look at you, so hed spend most of his time looking at you. if not, spending time with you. 

harry enjoys having you hold him, or vice versa. he needs to have some contact with you.

he is very understanding, and doesnt like to create fights because he didnt want you to suffer the way his mother suffered. 

despite harry knowing that youd like to be your own independent person in terms of money, hed most likely slip an extra hundred or so in your wallet, in hopes that its enough.

harry wont force you to do what he wants you to, he knows youre a very independent person. if you want to work, that salary is only to be used for your needs and wants. this doesnt mean that he wont shower you with money, which is very often.

harry knows you like korean and spicy food. hed start to learn how to have a higher spice tolerance, but wouldnt mind to spend extra to order takeout from different restaurants. 

saying that hed treat you like a queen is an understatement. harry would give you all the love that you deserve, would worship every part and inch of your body.

if youd say that youll “ never know how love feels like “ hed make it his own mission to shower with immense amount of love. this can be vice versa.

hed be open to helping you order or ask if you were too scared. but hed be very very proud of you even if you took a small step out of your comfort zone. 

correct me if im wrong but harrys the type to pul your chair closer to his because he feels the need to protect you and be near you 24/7

hes secretly vv possessive

when he saw he'll always be with you and watching you, he actually means it. he has eyes and would constantly have them to report back to him

talking to a guy? harrys jealous. make any physical contact? harrys burning with fury. catches you or the guy you are talking to make eye contact? he would want to stomp right in your conversation. 

being possessive doesnt mean hes insecure in his books. he just hate the thought of someone having you in their heart.

[hell-yeah-satanism]

An overview on my relationship with my gods!

Note: what i say is my own experience and what i have learned from them, and feel free to correct me if im wrong, but i think my interpretation and information is correct, without further ado, heres the mythology on my gods

Fenrir, the norse god of chaos and “evil”

Fenrir was Born to loki, god of mischief And Angrboða the giantess with his two siblings hel, and the world serpent, he was destined to kill odin, but in turn he was destined to be killed by odins son, Víðarr, the gods feared and were terrified of him, due to his rapid growth, he was bound by chains at odins command, he shook the firsts ones off, then they made a stronger pair, he agreed to put them on after tyr made a bond, shaking them off again, then they made a unbreakable chain, fernrir wasn’t trusting of them, unsure of them he put them on, and when he tryed to brake free, he couldnt and the Æsir was taunting him and in a result of anger and betrayal he bit of tyrs hand, the one god he trusted, and in a result of them trying to stop him, they caused the one thing they didnt want him to do, he fulfilled the prophecy out of betrayal and anger, and proceeded to kill odin for revenge during ragnarok

The things I learned about him

He is not what they make him out to be, hes a genuinely nice deity, he only did what he had to, and wanted revenge for what happened, what they did to him was cruel and unnecessary, the “evil” was just what they saw, not who he was, he’s also very wise with his words from what he’s said to me, some of the quotes he’s given me is “don’t let others tell you who you are, when they don’t even know who you are” and “every rose has thorns, if people ignore them, stab them, they cant just take the rose without the thorns”

Things I associate with him

Crystals: bloodstone, obsidian, oplite, and jasper,

Alter peices: red candles, black alter cloth, the incense smell in the air

Feelings: the burning feeling you get when you stand up for yourself, the surge of adrenaline

Overview of my experience

So far hes been really nice to work with though chaotic, he is sweet, some of the stories i have from him:

he banged 8 times on the door two inches away from my face while sleeping, as a prank, and we had a laugh together

He switched my playlists while i was praying to him, and he rickedrolled me, and began laughing

He randomly appears, his energy being big, always startles me when he speaks, but we always laugh about it together

Short story: he’s not who people believe to be, he just wanted revenge for he was treated, and i relate to that, hence why we get along so well, hes not evil, just people make him out to be

Hail fenrir

Sorce:

[my-mt-heart]

Ok im gonna try to bring a bit of positivity here even if it might not seem like it at first lol. U might have seen (but i think u avoid twitter right?) Carol being attacked these last few hours/days regarding Sophia/Ed. How she supposedly let Sophia being sexually abused by Ed without doing nothing. How she screamed to Shane "stop!" and cried when he beat up Ed. Meaning she was weak and ridiculous, again.

First of all i think (correct me if im wrong) that its considered canon that Ed didnt abuse (sexually, that is) Sophia... yet, because he died, but he would have had tried to had he lived because he saw her "growing up" and was a sick psycho. And Carol acted on it by having Sophia taken physically far away from her father if i recall well (dont have the exact scene in mind hence why im vague).

Second of all, this is bullshit obviously. Those people have never been abused and it shows. How its hard to leave, because you still love him and actually believe him when he says he wont hurt u again. Because he's a "great father" and "only" hit you and not ur children (its stastically rare i think but it does happen). I've worked with a lot of women beaten up by their husbands (and believe it or not, a few man with their wives too. Even husbands with husbands or wives with wives. Again, more rare but still here) and all combinations exist: women dont give a shit anymore, wont forgive, and only wants to leave and/or ptotect their children, woman who cant leave because they still see the "amazing" man he was for the first 10 years, or the first 3 years. Or says things like "he was beaten up when he was a child by his dad so its not his fault. "

ALL combinations exist, no one knows what its like to be in the head or the heart of a beaten 's wife/person, and no one should judge someone's way of coping with it, dealing with it, reacting to it. It is NEVER the victims fault, even if in the case of a beaten's wife, she stays with the husband.

Sorry, so, this disgression to say that Carol was insulted yesterday and so on for staying with Ed and not protecting Sophia.

The goods news (and here comes the positive part lol) is that for once, everyone was coming at these assholes (who, yes, happened to be Richonners, but NO, not all Richonners are this way, absolutely NOT).

And when i mean everyone, i mean even those who usually dont say shit when Carol (and therefore Melissa) is called ugly and/or too old for Daryl. Even those who dont ship caryl and/ or dont particularly like Carol are saying "ohh hell noo, too far, u re not victim blaming Carol here, absolutely not". Even the "kind of official fan accounts" followed by stars of the show.

So, while i wish she was defended more often already for the ageist and sexist part of the attacks she suffers, its still comforting to see that this time, everybody or almost see how too far they have gone and reacted accordingly.

Sorry if im clumsy in my way of writing or presenting things, english is not my native language, hope i did ok.

First of all, thank you for all you've done for survivors of domestic abuse and for sharing your insight. I heard about the incident through the grapevine and it was nice to go back and see all the support Carol was getting from all sides :)

Even though we have to be responsible for what we say on SM, I don't think it should just be left up to the fans to create a safer environment for them (and even cast and crew) to interact with each other. We should also put pressure on AMC to stop fueling the sexism, ageism, racism, etc. seen not just in one particular subset of the fanbase, but across the board. For example, how about making Carol the same size as Daryl in the key art so people can literally see her as a lead character? How about abandoning the ambiguous language around Caryl's relationship so people can understand that, yes, a middle-aged woman with gray hair can be the middle-aged male lead's love interest and vice versa? How about hiring someone who actually supports their characters and their relationship to run the official SM accounts? That's the kind of change I'd love to see.

[alicentsgf]

hi i was the otto anon and ty for ur lovely response! it makes so much sense to me! i dont think otto is good overall but like you said i do think his fear about rhaenyra was justified. it’s just so odd to see people who arent alicent stans (or outright hate her) think otto is the worst man but think viserys is some poor old man? like i’d say the least horrible man who is a major player is criston but people act like hes worse than actual groomers and rapists in canon 😭 do you think in s2 there will be a more equal footing in showing the greyness of each side? or do you think itll be next to impossible because of the corner they wrote aegon into? thanks again for answering, i hope youre recovering from covid well!

hello again!! some more great questions! and thanks so much thats so sweet of you i still have a cough and stuff but im feeling a lot better x

it ultimately comes down to lack of context. like... it really does. because as i said otto and corlys are functionally similar but we're given far more context for corlys. especially emotional context. and criston killing joffrey was like... at least a little bit more justifed than daemon killing rhea but people treat them as similar occurances because of the lack of context. if i point out daemons a murderer people bring up criston and joffrey and like, whatever, murder bad and all that, goes without saying, but joff was Really pushing it going up a guy he didnt know and kinda threatening him by saying 'i know a secret that would get you dishonoured and executed if it got out'... that was not very smart. and we can see how it suddenly all seems to have gotten out of cristons control so he goes a bit crazy with fear and shame, kills a man in public, and then immediately goes off to try and commit suicide? this is a man in fucking crisis lmao.

whereas daemon just decided rhea had become too inconvenient and had to die - and unlike joffreys murder it was totally premeditated. but as often is the case in this show the consequences faced (in this case those of a white cloak taking the virginity of a princess) werent made obvious (especially since criston so readily admitted his indiscretion to alicent just before this) and so criston could be seen as completely over the top in his reaction to joffrey later on? ...but it was his entire life and legacy being threatened yet again. like im not excusing it, but his reaction is not as disproportionate as people like to imply - at that moment joffrey represented the possibility of losing what little he still had left.

this is a problem the greens face time and time again. there just isnt enough explained about how this world is stuctured, so they often look like their fears are unfounded. for example the laws around bastardry arent made clear at all. i dont think people understand that if alicent had accept for helaena to marry jace... if he was later declared to be a bastard then any children they had together would also be illegitimised. and thats just one of the better outcomes alicent could have hoped for... i still cant quite fathom why she was framed so negatively for protecting her daughter? they never even let her vocalise that she would be afraid for helaena; they let the audience believe shes bastardphobic for no good reason she just wanted be a bitch.

i think they've admitted they are going to try and balance the scale more next season. whatever that means. but idk if they actually understand what the issue is with the writing so far thats making it all skew so heavily in favour of rhaenyra's contingent. im worried they'll try to make the greens more superficially sympathetic instead of investing in storylines that flesh out the world around them and show why the greens actually have very legitmate fears and desires.

the aegon thing is definitely a problem... i havent seen the og quote so correct me if im wrong but i think TGC said something about it undermining aegon's character to make him a rapist because very few will want to invest in his growth over the series after that. and... yeah. agreed. i have so many criticisms of the way they dealt with aegon, not least because its just kind of insulting to the audience to make that kind of person rhaenyra's competition, as if the audience needed to be so heavy-handedly manipulated in one direction. i still hope we're going to see some extreme evolution from aegon but ultimately even if we do its always going to be bit overshadowed by these early decisions.

[stars-in-our-skies]

I think you missed the entire point of that poll

It’s not “psychological VS spiritual” it’s “using the word otherkin as it was intended (an identity) vs using it for characters you simply relate to”

Also, having a past life and identifying as that thing from a past life is inherently not a delusion. Spreading misinformation like that is harmful to those who actually experience psychosis.

Ignore any spelling errors. I have a migraine.

A. didnt misunderstand the point, just thought it was a non-issue, because it is

B. MY point was that, tldr, who gives a fucking shit what term you use when you experience the same thing. I believe i said that, too.

but, ok right. if the question is "kinning for fun". i can't imagine youd be "kinning" anything unless you seriously identified with what youre "kinning" as.

in which case, the definition of kin is identifying with/as something-- as in, part of your identity. & as someone who was in that community for a while i didnt notice anyone trying to claim that there was this huge difference between why you identify with/as something until… maybe a year or two ago? I dunno. im not involved much anymore. Like i said, things got crazy around the time that mogai first gained waves. Historically on otherkin forums it was accepted as just another way of experiencing kinship. (And i would know, i was there!)

so by our definition… yes, it should be included in kin if it's what they want. If you're looking for "believing in kinship spiritually i.e past lives" vs "strongly identifying with/as something" then… theres not too much of a difference in the experience other than origin. In which case, we already had words for those; spiritual kin & psychological kin. i did not keep a kin journal & frequent sites like otherkin.net back in 2016 for yall to tell me that this wasnt a thing LMAO.

(sidebar, it reminds me of when people try to say that endo systems are ~inherently different~ to traumagenic systems because of ~fundamental differences~ or some bullshit. They aren't, theyre functionally the same. they just formed under different conditions. Same shit, different community. //shrug)

But, lets use your example then. "Relating to a character". I dont believe that happens, but ok, thats me and maybe im wrong. if the thing was "i kin for funsies but i dont think im actually that thing / i just relate to this character" then yes, it would be a different word. I'm not sure about these days, but 8 years ago we called that a synpath. and even then, still not an issue. The broad otherkin community has always been accepting of kin-for-fun. Thats why terms like synpath & -hearted were made -- because theyre subtypes of otherkin & fictionkin.

i'm not fond of the "they should use a different word" thing. Seems like another attempt at "correcting" people on their own identities. Leaves a bad taste in my mouth considering how often "you cant use this word because it was made with this other thing in mind" is used as an argument against queer identities but i digress.

I could see this argument working maybe if kin was a closed practice, but it was never closed to begin with and like i said, was always inclusive of all kintypes including synpaths. //shrug again

C. all religion & spirituality is man-made. It's something that can't be proven and something people believe in blindly. Ergo, delusion. Admittedly, a better term here would probably be "societal construct". But I'm not in the mood to think it through much more.

and before anyone tries to argue with me over religion & spirituality. I love anthropology, and i love the history of religion and its importance to humanity, and i know that religion has a long and complicated history, but that does not mean that i believe in it or even like it.

D. lastly, Im delusional you loser. I deserve $50 for reading that bullshit alone.

[just-some-random-blogger]

good morning (or day or evening), lovie!! its your prodigal muning. im so sorry i didnt answer you yesterday TT i really am soso sorry TT ive started reading your message ans then the classes, then my focusing attention problems, then homework and these problems with attention and poof! its already 5 a.m. and i realise oh fuck i havent answered you TT and i still overslept today TT but its ok i managed to come on time. oooh its cute to know youve got your love for music from your mom. im sure you look just as cute playing piano as this kitty in the gif) sure your mom wanted the best but im sorry for your trauma. i believe in your skills. since you attached this gif with 13th doctor who, im now thinking about her being the most similar to matts doctor.. you should see yourself :) 'WHY AM I CRUEL THIS TIME' deprive people of your gorgeous voice 'its so much easier to believe in God than yourself' sounds.. yk sincere and so deeply thoughtful like in these films where a persons going to die in a day and needs to live the whole life in this restricted time. in the best way possible. sounds good. it seems like all people from the south are so... warm? shdjd sorry. no but really. all of you have so chilly and kinda hippie vibes. it sounds so real and so true but i really cant imagine myself giving this world so much love. your so lovie-lovie and its so cute and right. love can save the world. приятного аппетита. 24/7. 'in my head its canon' is it time for me to say smth like i have a vodka-gun and a domesticated bear?... owww all your dishes look so good and tasty, i like the pics fhdjs. wowoow ginataang looks really good. and its interesting too learn its like.. etymology. and even more when youre reasoning it yourself. 'ITS ULAM AND ITS WHAT WE EAT WITH RICE' smth like main dish?.. not like i think you dont know this word but im trying to understand.. like the main.. not sweet dish before the dessert? its cute to learn the difference, thanks for your efforts and explainings, hottie-cutie! i like learning what your fav food is too hdjfk. and about this food too. this thing about saying things twice TT cute actually most of the ingredients you mention are so unusual to me that i have to search for each one of them... 'you know that right?' I KNOW NOTHING TT but alright i still have google... sorry but 'nata de coco' sounds so bossy. fjdhdhs SORRY. i dont want to sound so childish but its my first thought. tbh i used to hate coconuts... now i feel neutral, not like coconuts are common here anyway... i feel like i need to give more feedback but im so into all the information you give. like reallyreally educational. 'I GOT SIDE TRACKED SO BADLY' its alright!! i like following your way of thinking!! when i searched for taro (yes idk whats it) i got tarot cards... maybe because in russian it doesnt have t and is literally taro lol...yeah i GOT confused but not bc of the night.... 'GAbi is the food gaBI is night' very educational. thaks for the efforts! i appreciate how much time you give me<з 'i gotta get this right cos she good at history or whatevah' FHSJKHD loll i have no dates in my brain. oh no i remember some that are connected with literature and the year of baptism of Rus. but its interesting, go on. 'this is how i explain stuff to my classmates' one big brain cell. i explain things like that tbh. my literature teacher always laugh at me bc of the way i describe things when were talking informally. and this cunning spain.... wow and its really interesting to know about your languages story! ig ive learnt more now than during all the scool years... you have all rights to curse these 3 idiots! like?? its really irritating when smn corrects you on the thing you know like your hmm... mother tongue??? that stereotype that americans are (a little)... uneducated... and youre telling a person their first language is wrong? dk about all americans but these definately fit the stereotype. i feel like tumblr will see the message as too long again so see you in the part 2!

MUNING YOURE HOME I CAN STO SAYING PSPSSPSPPSPSSPSPSPSPSPSPPSSP NOW

😌 love letter toime

its your prodigal muning. im so sorry i didnt answer you yesterday TT i really am soso sorry TT ive started reading your message ans then the classes, then my focusing attention problems, then homework and these problems with attention and poof! its already 5 a.m. and i realise oh fuck i havent answered you TT and i still overslept today TT but its ok i managed to come on time.

u and i are so twins thats smth i would do/probably have done with a lot of things. you dont have to apologize. i figured about as much when i didnt receive anything.

truthfully though, i was kinda sad yesterday so when you didnt message me T_T i didnt have anyone to talk to T_T i felt like crying yesterday (i figured it was cos i was hungry) but then i realized i have no friends T_T the friends i do have are from my old school and idk i find instant messages easily exhausting. IDK IDK IDK which is why im so excited to read letter from you! anyway it was also because my class yesterday was songwriting and i didnt know anyone there T_T it's giving T_T lonely.

if you apologize for making me sad, 🤬 dont its not ur fault. it was me being hungry and having no friends in that class then being sad i spent all that money on food T_T /LASHfhas/fhashfa f

oooh its cute to know youve got your love for music from your mom. im sure you look just as cute playing piano as this kitty in the gif) sure your mom wanted the best but im sorry for your trauma. i believe in your skills.

trust me i look like this when i play

HAHAHHHAHHAHH. i'm a jazz player (thats a music joke meaning you keep hitting the wrong notes HAHHAHAHA [but also jazz players do really play with like ... 'out of key' sounding things but its not out of key, i have no idea how else to explain it without getting too technical]). of course my mom wanted the best for me, but T_T it still hurts she my mummy T_T. thank you for believing in my skills. i believe in my skills more and more everyday

since you attached this gif with 13th doctor who, im now thinking about her being the most similar to matts doctor.. you should see yourself :)

SHE LOOKS LIKE A SWEETIE CUPCAKE!!! but also you watch doctor who ALSO ALSO NO i refuse to watch doctor who................

'WHY AM I CRUEL THIS TIME' deprive people of your gorgeous voice

T_T IM TRYING I WILL POST ANOTHER SONG TOMORROW and i will make sure i look prettier lol HAHAHHAHAHAHAH idk its hard to keep my yt alive. i have this cover of les miserables but i haved edited it yet and you reminded me i wanted to do that.

OMG OMG IS THERE A SONG YOU WANT ME TO SING!!!!!?????? 🤩🤩🤩 even if its russian i'll sing it for you (but i beg not like the rap you shared i am not a rapper T_T) i will say if it is in russian you must give me a while to learn it.

'its so much easier to believe in God than yourself' sounds.. yk sincere and so deeply thoughtful like in these films where a persons going to die in a day and needs to live the whole life in this restricted time. in the best way possible. sounds good.

💀😭🤣💀😭🤣 I UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN BUT YOUR ANALOGY HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. well im glad it sounds sincere because it is. i mean it with my whole chest

it seems like all people from the south are so... warm? shdjd sorry. no but really. all of you have so chilly and kinda hippie vibes. it sounds so real and so true but i really cant imagine myself giving this world so much love. your so lovie-lovie and its so cute and right. love can save the world.

T_T pEOPLE IN THE SOUTH ARE WARM HAHAHHHAHAHH im honored to have helped you make such an assumption about us but i can assure you not everyone is warm here, some are so hot they are practically burning with the devil T_T I LOVE THAT YOU THINK IM CHILL AND A HIPPIE HAHAHHAHAH i would say i have no chill and am quite radical. if my parents would allow me, i would march during protests but theyre afraid i might get hurt, also im afraid i would get hurt but i just think its so important to fight and speak about what you believe in!!!!! LOVE WILL OVERCOME THE WORLD!!!!!

well the truth is, no one can really give the WORLD love... unless ur secretly Jesus but you know what, giving 1 person (like me!!! <3) your love (WHICH YOU ALREADY DO!!!) changes my WHOLE world <3 <3 <3 o(*￣▽￣*)ブ it always starts with one thing. one little thing

it reminds me of this post about how pets are only there for a part of your life but you are there for their entire life T_T

i try not to think about that too much cos ill cry.

so yeah dont beat yourself up for not changing the world or not being able to love the whole world, you'll burn yourself with that. a little goes a long way and you;ll find it becomes easier each time

приятного аппетита. 24/7.

HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH

'in my head its canon' is it time for me to say smth like i have a vodka-gun and a domesticated bear?

I WOULD LOVE IT IF YOU UNIRONICALLY SAID YOU HAD A DOMESTICATED BEAR IF DEADLY WHY FRIEND SHAPED i dont care for vodka or guns so /:

owww all your dishes look so good and tasty, i like the pics fhdjs. wowoow ginataang looks really good. and its interesting too learn its like.. etymology. and even more when youre reasoning it yourself.

im glad you think so!!! that you like the pics and you think ginataang looks good and the etymology and how im reasoning it HAHAHH

'ITS ULAM AND ITS WHAT WE EAT WITH RICE' smth like main dish?.. not like i think you dont know this word but im trying to understand.. like the main.. not sweet dish before the dessert? its cute to learn the difference, thanks for your efforts and explainings, hottie-cutie!

i guess you could say main dish. i remember when i was younger during the high school musical era, vanessa hudgens said in an interview once she eats a lot of rice because she's filipino and i was like ???? mom wtf does she mean and my mom went oh they dont eat rice and I WAS SO CONCERNED FOR EVERYONE WHO WASNT FILIPINO BECAUSE SHE SAID WE WERE THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO DID THAT I WAS SO CONFUSED LIKE ALSKHFAHSFASH it took me years to understand what my mom meant LOL cos in the ph when we say we're going to eat rice that means were eating a meal cos yeah everything is eaten with rice here it feels incomplete if you dont. so she meant they eat meals just without rice WHICH SOUNDS ILLEGAL T_T

let me give a clearer example ig. so in the morning when you wake up, if you decide to have idk a sausage youd maybe eat only a sausage right??? or ok maybe with bread. idk in the ph if you dont eat smth with rice (unless ur eating with bread) and you just eat the sausage by itself it's called like papak which basically means youre not eating something properly youre just snacking on it when you could just eat it as a meal IDK o(≧口≦)o its so hard to explain

ok now i have to further explain papak, it could also mean like you have a food item you want to eat but you eat a bit then leave it then come back to it then leave it or youre yeah just not EATING PROPERLY OK I GIVE UP GOOD NIGHT

i like learning what your fav food is too hdjfk. and about this food too. this thing about saying things twice TT cute

IM GLAD YOU LIKE LEARNING ABOUT MY FAV FOOD I HAVE SO MUCH MORE I WANT TO SHARE :LASFHASFASFHASFHLASFHF also yeah its pretty funny how we say things twice HIHIH AHAHAHAH we do that for emphasis, like kabang-kaba where kaba means nervous and the added -ng is just a connector. it's our equivalent of very but we dont have very AHHAHAH we just repeat the word, so if you want to say youre very very very very very nervous you can say KABANG-KABANG-KABANG-KABANGKABANGKABGNANGKANG-KABA ako (ako is 'I' lol)

actually most of the ingredients you mention are so unusual to me that i have to search for each one of them... 'you know that right?' I KNOW NOTHING TT but alright i still have google...

AHHAHAHAHA i hope you enjoyed researching them at least HAHAHAHHA ALSO?????? YOU DONT KNOW WHAT FLAN IS ??? PLOT TWIST???!?!?!? I thought you would know it because its like.... spanish ??? european ??? HAHDKHADHLADHAD AD:HAD: thats on me 😩😞 i assumed T_T HAHAHAHAH i hope you looked it up! hahhaahahahhaHAHAHAH

sorry but 'nata de coco' sounds so bossy. fjdhdhs SORRY.

HAHHAHHAHAHAAH YOU DONT HAVE TO APOLOGIZE THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE HEARD ALL DAY HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH WHY DOES IT SOUND BOSSY HAHHAAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAAHH THATS SO ??? HAHHA WEIRD DOES IT HAVE A RUSSIAN EQUIVALENT THAT MAKES IT SOUND LIKE THAT TO YOU HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i think it derived from spanish ?? idk nata = nut then coco= coconut? idk i just assume

i dont want to sound so childish but its my first thought. tbh i used to hate coconuts... now i feel neutral, not like coconuts are common here anyway... i feel like i need to give more feedback but im so into all the information you give. like reallyreally educational. 'I GOT SIDE TRACKED SO BADLY' its alright!! i like following your way of thinking!!

NO BUT SAME i dont like... processed flavored coconuts lashflkhasfhaslafh its kind of the same way i feel about bananas it just so FAKE??????????? and why ruin it just eat a banana if you want a banana and eat a coconut if you want to eat a coconut. i will say there are again some exceptions to the coconut thing but yeah lasfkhasfas. you dont have to give more feedback no pressure HAHAHAH im glad to receive a reply at all my brain is just like I HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS PERFECTLY BECAUSE THIS PERSON HAS NO IDEA WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT AND IF I EXPLAIN THIS WRONG THEIR UNDERSTANDING WILL FOREVER BE WRONG FOREVER UNLESS SOMEONE CORRECTS THIS KNOWLEDGE I HAVE IMPARTED

when i searched for taro (yes idk whats it) i got tarot cards... maybe because in russian it doesnt have t and is literally taro lol...yeah i GOT confused but not bc of the night.... 'GAbi is the food gaBI is night' very educational. thaks for the efforts!

well i did not forsee taro being the hinderance HAHAHAHAHAH so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ at least im still educational love that for me

i appreciate how much time you give me<з

of course i love you <3 💗💗💗💖💖💖💖

while we're here let me share another food HIHIIHIHIHHHHIIH

this is called KARE-KARE HAHAHAHAH but las;hf;lahsflas i dont think it has a meaning T_T but its on theme it's repeated twice but ???? idk i dont think it has meaning AHHAHAHAH

ASHF:ASHF:AF AF:ASF IM LOVE IT its not a dessert its an ulam. ALSO GOOGLE SAID IT WAS AS STEW???? NOW IM SO CONFUSED ISNT STEW LIKE A SOUP ASKHFAS ahhhh nvm google defines stew as 'a dish of meat and vegetables cooked slowly in liquid in a closed dish or pan.'

google is so correct that is what karekare is <3

so this typically cooked with beef/tuwalya or pork but ig you could cook it with... sheep/goat or chicken but i told my mom i wanted karekare once and she was like red meat is expensive and i was like we can make chicken and she got mad at me so ig not chicken AHHAHAHA.

ok now tuwalya^^^^^^, the first time i tried it, i hated it T_T also i was so confused why it was called that because tuwalya is towel ????? like wtf why would you call it that. anyway the not towel tuwalya is apparently cow stomach (LOL I LOVE THAT IDK IT HAHAHAH) but yeah its pretty tough and super chewy which was why i hated it at first i was like YOU HAVE DESECRATED MY BELOVED DISH but now i LOVE tuwalya and i go ??? yall didnt put tuwalya in this tsk tsk L (also apparently its ox tripe?? but do we even have ox in the ph????? HAHHAAH:ASHFHaslfhashfhasfla)

anyway it usually has vegtables cooked with it like pechay (bok choy????? [i only know this word cos of plants vs zombies HAHHAHAH]) wtf google said its cabbage but thats false im ??? ig maybe pechay is a type of cabbage. ig it is buk choy

this ^^^ (above) is pechay and sitaw (string beans) YOU SHOULD HAVE STRING BEANS RIGHT LOOK ME IN THE EYE AND SAY YOU DONT KNOW WHAT STRING BEANS IS

anyway this is sitaw. HAHAHHAH then eggplant PLS YOU HAVE EGGPLANTS IM SURE.

also in the pic for karekare the circle ones on the side that kinda look like onions those are puso ng saging which would be heart of banana in english LOL i think its called that because thats like the core of the... the tree?? or the soft part of the-

hollup lemme research it

banana blossoms??????? thats what is according to google T_T

OH I GET IT NOW ITS THE REDDISH THING i guess its like the flower of the plant NOW WE BOTH LEARNED SOMETHING AHHAHAH

yeah i dont think ive eaten karekare with puso ng saging but i like puso ng saging HAHAHA

and lastly, the most interesting part of the dish is that its sauce is made of (from what i remember from my mom [ok i searched it to be sure]) its made with onion garlic and.... [drum roll] peanut butter!!!

i dont remember if i was shocked when i first learned this AHHHAHAHA cos i was so young HAHAAHAHAH but yeah peanut sauce and ground peanuts but lol my mom just buys the karakare powder mix HAHHAAHAHAH. ive seen a chef on tv flat out use peanut butter but yeah it'll be sweet if you do that so my mom doesnt do that ig idk i dont remember HAHAHHA

i also ask for this food on my birthday. every day i get to eat karekare is a special day <3

end scene

'i gotta get this right cos she good at history or whatevah' FHSJKHD loll i have no dates in my brain. oh no i remember some that are connected with literature and the year of baptism of Rus. but its interesting, go on.

LOL UR LIKE ME FR I HAVE A 1% retention rate of date AHAHAAH thats being so generous tbh

'this is how i explain stuff to my classmates' one big brain cell. i explain things like that tbh. my literature teacher always laugh at me bc of the way i describe things when were talking informally.

BIG BRAIN THINGS they can laugh but if it works it works

and this cunning spain.... wow and its really interesting to know about your languages story! ig ive learnt more now than during all the scool years...

HHHHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHHAHAHHAH T_T i feel you AHHAHAH i love learning stuff from people who are passionate about what they talk about and the only reason why i retained any of these things was because my teachers who taught me this were amazing T_T

you have all rights to curse these 3 idiots! like?? its really irritating when smn corrects you on the thing you know like your hmm... mother tongue???

very truly annoying when someone is a know it all that knows nothing [inhales deeply] inner peace. i felt way better about them now that ive finished ranting about it. i forgive them (still hard to type a lot of hesitation went into that) ヾ(•ω•`🌸)o anyway if i keep getting mad ill only upset myself so T_T i gotta forgive them for me.

that stereotype that americans are (a little)... uneducated... and youre telling a person their first language is wrong? dk about all americans but these definately fit the stereotype.

👎 doing uncle sam a disservice.... do you know uncle sam means america? HAHAH I only learned that from my mom apparently its a comic person thing but im not interested nor do i care enough to dig deeper into that

i feel like tumblr will see the message as too long again so see you in the part 2!

PART TWO YAY SEE YOU

xxx

[turnaboutchaos]

yknow maybe the trial woulda been quicker if we just asked Fulbright to take his gloves offf

[moondoposting]

We know Marc developed DID when he was around 8 (I believe that's how old he is in the flashbacks as a child). But I do really want to know when he was officially diagnosed. Like did Elias take him to see a psychologist as a child like in the comics where he was diagnosed or did he find out later? I really want to know how long he's known he has DID

ok disclaimer from post-writing me. i kind of typed a lot more than i thought i would. it is very stream of consciousness oh my god. also i do not have DID so any information comes from my own personal research and is not reflective of every experience. i will HAPPILY be corrected if anything ive said is harmful/incorrect. also if any of my timeline stuff is wrong!

oh my god when i say i was literally just having this exact thought anon PLEASE get out of my head

because ok

like you said, comics, we already know. but mcu, we dont get aaaaany indicators of when he found out iirc i think partially as a result of marvel's refusal to name it in the show but w/e

and its really setting me on an interesting path of thinking about marc going through most of his life like we see steven in episode 1. just kind of living his life, but with occasional blackouts that leave him somewhere he doesn't recognise having done something he doesn't remember. maybe even rationalising it to himself as a sleeping disorder like steven does.

like, the closest i could think of him finding out would be around 10 probs, if his dad takes him to a psychologist like in the comics (which side note, was so fucking well integrated and didnt feel stupid or forced literally marvel you could have just done this) or latest? honestly after his mom's death? like that event perpetuates a lot of things. and maybe the fact that he finds himself blacking out more and more prompts him to seek a diagnosis (even if he wasnt looking for a did diagnosis specifically).

mmm but then who was steven calling. i always assumed marc set up a number to call.

but then theres also khonshu saying his mind is broken or w/e and marc doesnt give an indication of either "wtf how did you know" or "wtf what are you talking about". and then theres marc saying he made the deal to "save us". but that might have been an after the fact realisation.

HONESTLY MAYBE HE ONLY FINDS OUT CAUSE KHONSHU IS MESSING AROUND IN THERE. khonshu finds this funny british guy bouncing around in his head and hes like "omg marc check this out" and marc has a whole existential crisis about it. so when khonshu finds ANOTHER guy in there hes like "yk im just gonna. keep quiet about this one" and silently feeds him snacks on the side.

cause he also doesnt mention getting booted from the army for a botched psych eval iirc!!! cant lie in an evaluation if you dont know what you have. maybe getting kicked out for the dissociative fugue state incident is what motivates him to get a diagnosis. maybe its mandated after the event. idk enough about military protocol to speak on that.

all is to say marc is definitely aware To Some Degree of what is going on with him, he just probably doesnt have a name for it. which is like. fine. diagnosis is helpful but its not the be all and end all of experience.

i think in any of these scenarios, at least when he was younger it was a lot easier to understand as an "imaginary friends" situation and maybe that faded as he grew up maybe it didnt IDK.

ok so tldr

situations where he would have gotten some kind of diagnosis that would be the most interest story-wise IMO

young, around 8-10 - follows the comics completely, has him spend most of his early life some degree of institutionalised (would explain his mental association with mental hospitals)

post military discharge - pretty big point in his backstory, would work to really solidify the shame he feels around his mental illness (being very public and on record and all that) and would make sense as there would probably be some kind of investigation into the incident that would lead to a diagnosis

post-steven's reappearance - would be the culmination of a Lot of things happening in his life to the point that even stubborn marc spector can't cope and seeks out help. would explain why layla didnt know as i personally believe he cuts contact with her after his mom's shiva. does bring into question a lot of the more solid aspects of steven's life tho, like the phone calls.

crack versions that make me laugh

khonshu just drops the bomb on marc one day and it fucks him up so severely that he never brings it up again

[dyketubbo]

im rewatching doomsday (comps of all povs of course) and. yeah i just.. feel bad for the lmanburgians. i dont know how i could just. say these people deserved it, when they all sound, panicked and desperate and so so fucking sad. long long ramble under the cut as i recount the events and pick out a bunch of little things

even the day before then is painful. ranboos panic room. ranboo and tubbos talk (tubbo admitting that hes wrong, saying he believes that history is repeating itself and trusting ranboo because he believes in his loyalty), fundy showing the ring toss. tubbos surprise at being told to kill dream before stating that quackity would be in control if he didnt (god, did he plan to fail?). tommy being so so excited. everyone playing ring toss and cheering on jack. tommy still believing in tubbo. tubbo panicking. ranboo and tommy and techno talking, ranboo giving them info. dream placing walls and quackity instructing tubbo on where to kill dream. dream lying about the community house. the entire community house debacle. just, everything.

and then doomsday itself. having to frantically get there because it started early, tubbo only having diamond armor to protect him, fundy standing still after he sabotaged them. tubbo and ranboos genuine despair about the apiary.

tubbo eventually going nonverbal and actively putting himself in danger, not even moving away from techno at first and getting in the way of the firework launcher. tubbo trying to save tommy from the fireworks, ponks broken "dont come over here!" after she was trying to save his cat, tommys face falling and desperate attempts at convincing techno, ranboo going "its all gone", niki spiralling and silently burning down the tree, quackitys pure anger. all the death messages.

jack going "what is there left to protect", tommy brokenly trying to accept that its gone as tubbo and quackity blankly do accept it. jack going "i lost everything again". tommy desperately trying to understand dream, on the verge of tears as he asks why dream didnt just hurt him. his low health and food as hes unable to do anything anymore, his quiet gasp as he spots ghostbur, tubbos tiny shake of his head when dream says dream and tommys story wont be over.

tubbo and quackity breaking the repeaters. ghostburs "i didnt even know we were fighting". ghostbur finding out phil let friend die, hes pained "phil? but i- i gave, i gave phil to look after. and dream found me friend, and technoblade said we were friends", tommys pained talk about technoblade. "we were never his friend. to him, all of this was just an act of politics, an act of clout and a-a social ladder, and you won't remember. tubbo you will, and to you big q, this was a friendship. but to technoblade, this was a ladder. and techno climbed to the tippity talk. do you wanna know the only way you can go? on the ladder? -- and once you reach the top of the ladder tubbo, you can only go down."

quackity asking to sing the anthem again, him strumming as ghostbur sings (and tubbo and tommy joining in). ghostbur forgetting the second verse because it blew up. quackity remembering it, them stumbling through it. tommys "tubbo? im so so sorry", tubbos quiet "its okay." the four all singing together. tubbo looking at the lava with an ender pearl in his hand, tommy correcting quackity and going "our l'manburg". ghostburs speech about friend, about people not taking him seriously just because he has memory loss.

meanwhile.. phil and techno were laughing. cracking jokes. phil mocks them as he spawns withers on the apiary, going "ohhh noo not the bees!". techno shouts at tommy and shoots at him and tubbo. he kills jack and doesnt even notice that it was one of his lives lost. jacks death itself proves that it doesnt take any particular intent, doesnt have to mean anything to the killer. techno and phil were willing to kill people. it would be foolish of them to act as if there were no risks in the terms of canon lives, especially with phil. phil doesnt take ghostbur seriously, treats his despair as an opportunity to drill in a lesson. the most either of them lost was some of the dogs and used up potions, fireworks, and wither skulls

and then theres dream. dream whose been harming the l'manburgians since the beginning, who had taken tubbo hostage, offered eret a chance to betray them all, who had been the man in tommys walls and offering money to tubbo and jack to try and get them to destroy things, who tried to get tommy to kill tubbos villagers. dream, who took tommys discs over and over, who killed tommy twice in one day, who stopped caring about his friends that loved him and were so so loyal. dream, who helped schlatt and pushed wilbur deeper into his spiral, who even then tried to manipulate tommy.

dream, who helped destroy l'manburg the first and second time, who took advantage of tubbo so he could have a premeditated kidnapping of tommy. dream, who abused tommy, physically, psychologically, emotionally. dream, who degraded tubbo and had taken ranboos memory book (which btw, since ranboos memory loss counts as a mental disability with the memory book as his aid, thats dream taking the thing that aids ranboo in dealing with his disability).

dream, who had been the reason l'manburg was created. dream, who got to destroy l'manburg three times. dream won. and techno and phil dont regret it, dont care.

maybe l'manburg was never meant to be. and sure, it started with stealing and an attempt to monopolize on potions but. that wasnt even l'manburg then, was it? it was just wilbur and tommy having fun. l'manburg came after. after the police hurt them. l'manburg started as a silly little revolution, led by a naïve man who thought he could win wars by saying no. it was a place for a family, a place for them to escape from dream. it was a place to try and escape the harm of those outside the walls. it was meant to be safe, even if those against them made it hard to be. it was made from love. it was meant to be happy. it was a symphony, however unfinished.

so. i don't know. i just feel, bad. they never really won, did they? tragedy after tragedy, death after death, destruction after destruction, betrayal after betrayal, hurt after hurt. and now what's left of them, really? out of the founders, erets doing the best and even shes doing awful, forever trying to make up for what he did. tubbos paranoia led him to developing nukes in a desperate attempt to stay safe, because he was taught to stay quiet and keep his emotions to himself, because his death was "justified", because nukes and walls and weapons are the only way he can feel safe anymore.

tommy went through months of abuse, lost all of his lives and suffered upon coming back, suicidal but unable to bring himself to do it because limbo is worse, feeling lost and like he has no family anymore other than wilbur, who he knows is hurting him but cant bring himself to leave, who loved lmanburg so so dearly and only wanted a home, still doesnt have one (tommy from everywhere, tommy from nowhere at all). niki who loved lmanburg and wilbur so much that it hollowed her out and made her bitter and shes so used to being spoken over that all she can think to do is raise her voice and get pissed, who cant see wilbur as a good person anymore because shes hurt and hasnt truly recovered and she doesnt know how to cope without being angry.

jack manifold feels forgotten, hes lost all his lives and crawled out of hell and no one truly noticed, he doesnt even believe that niki really cares, hes desperate and has made his purpose to be spiteful and angry because he cant deal with the emptiness that comes when he realizes theres no point. fundys desperate to have friends, family, a partner, anyone thatll love him, anyone thatll keep him safe, slowly killing himself with cigarettes and disowned because of giving too little too late, because he was too little too late.

and wilburs lost himself. spiraling, paranoid. a young, naïve man who wanted to fight swords with words, who wanted to impress his father, who wanted a nation of his own to feel safe, who was so effected by erets betrayal that he cant trust anyone but himself, whose possessive nature eats him from the inside out, desperate for control and unable to let go of the only person he knows loves him unconditionally

all because outside forces kept pushing, kept destroying, kept ruining them and hurting them and traumatizing them and taking away their homes and pets and loved ones. and i just. cant feel happy for the ones that hurt them, i cant feel victorius, triumphant, any of that. i just feel bad that the l'manburgians never got to be a family. i know they arent the best people but shit, i love them anyways, love them because theyre flawed and because theyre *people*, people who tried so so hard and got pushed so so much and. fuck, i cant be happy that the people who loved nature and play fought and laughed by campfires and read poetry and re-enacted theatre and loved each other and wanted to *live* (even if they were willing to die, if it meant giving everyone else a chance).. lost. they lost.

canonical years of work down the drain in one day. records of history gone, now only remembered in full by a traumatized teenager who was taught not to talk about his negative emotions, and even he misremembers some parts. they didnt even lose fairly. they had no chance. they couldnt have prepared for withers, for tnt rain, for the hounds. they were poor, weaker than their opponents, sabotaged by one of their own. thats.. tragic.

doomsday was a tragedy. i cant agree that it was deserved. i cant agree that they had it coming, that they deserved to lose homes and pets and limbs and lives and land because they werent the greatest people around.

a small country of less than 10 people (at both creation and destruction) now a giant crater in the ground, remnants of a parisitic egg taking over the land. and it wasnt even lost fairly. three people were stronger than an entire nation, even with all of its allies. two anarchists working with an abusive tyrant. so, no. doomsday wasnt deserved. people dont deserve tragedy. there were better ways, i truly cant be happy that the way chosen was violence. i cant.

l'manburg's citizens deserved better. they really did. the ends dont justify the means. and god, am i fucking tired of "justice". if justice means choosing violence over love and respect and caring about those less strong than you, i dont wanna hear about it. fuck that man, id rather love and be loved than constantly give a shit about making up for hurting others by getting hurt, thats stupid and cruel and i cant see it as okay on a moral level. not when the people that got hurt deserved to be loved and cared about and protected and *talked to* instead of constantly shot down.

of course for the narrative i can enjoy violence and characters getting hurt and i do like how "real" it all is, the despair and dissonance in tone and how terrifyingly messy it all is. out of story perspective- honestly rather cool even if it makes me feel bad. in story perspective- holy fucking shit no that wasnt deserved and god i hope everyone hurt will be able to heal and learn to love and be loved again because thats such a terrifying thing to go through. from a detached pov i can appreciate the insight into everyone involved and i like the plotlines that came from it, but from a compassionate pov i just wish the l'manburgians were allowed to be happy and treated as equals so they didnt have to go through all of this

[jackassbroadcast]

Hello im a Tommy enthusiast who watched that one stream where he monologued to foolish for like hafe an hour bc i heard it was a cool stream or wtv to realize how much amazing character moments it had that barly anyone in this damn fandom is talking about so ill fucking do it

(Only after finishing this i realized i wrote 1.7k words LOL OOPS)

If u dont know what in talking about its this stream (apologies for linking a clips channel the actual vod on foolish's channel is deleted by now)

Also heads up /rp /dsmp every time i refer to someone here by name is their character unless stated otherwise bc writing c! Before every name Is tiring LOL

Also // suicidal idealization , death mentions

The conversation starts off with foolish and tommy mining for Wilbur, and foolish questions how simply mining will solve the problem to which Tommy reponds with "they dont get solved, do they? It just ends uo with some madman screaming 'Hes solved it!' And now look at him." And how he wants to "prevent the problem before it goes outta hand" something that clearly references Wilbur and his destruction of lmanburg, which paired with him collecting stone for Wilbur as the way to stop said problems he believes if he does anything he can for Wilbur and support him by his side enough this time around, that he wont do anything like thay again, which as im writing this makes be realize by doing that we learn hes blaming himself for what happened to Wilbur in November 16th and pogtopia and a whole, by not being enough for Wilbur in his mind.

The conversation continues, foolish off hand asks why would tommy want to stop Wilbur? Weren't they friends at some point? To which tommy leads foolish to lmanburg and tells him the story of the nation (how it was him and Wilbur's nation, how they made it to espace dream's iron fist and how they held an election "which puts your life on the line, which is good- if you're confident but- perhaps we were too confident", how they lost)

Tommy: "You know the phrase: 'treat other how you wanna be treated', foolish? People dont ever listen to it. Wilbur- he decided he wanted to be treated poorly so he treated everyone around him poorly "

This Tommy quote, to me at least, so so amazingly strong in conveying how understanding he is? To the world around him. Like-

I have not seen one person bring this quote up, and yet its (at least to me) shows such growth and understanding in Tommy i saw little to nothing like it in other streams. It shows he understands, he knew Wilbur didnt change just because, he knows he was struggling, that he thought everyone around him were againt him, were going to abandon him the first chance theyll get- and he thought he deserved it. So he, as a last way to defend himself against that, hurt them first, abandoned them first, so theyll see how much of a 'bad' person he was and take him out- and tommy saw right through that, possibly understanding it more after exile.

This next qoute was talked about much more but i still wanna bring it up

Foolish: "Do you believe in second chances?"

Tommy: "Oh, no I don't really believe that its not really a thing for me foolish its just that-" *sigh* "- i believe everyone has a little bit of good in then and this is not about giving him a second chance or a third chance- its not about *chances* foolish. Its about not giving up on the poeple you care about. "

Which. I mean. I dont know how healthy that mindset is, but comign from Tommy it makes so much sense.

Techno, tubbo, eret, sapnap. These are all people Tommy used to be extremely close to, had either a war or had been betrayed by them, and yet still found it in his heart that he still cares for them, with all of these, they did horrendous things, that hurt tommy physically and mentally, while also not being once or twice, but a contentious thing, but while tommy is to this day still effected by their actions he still found it in himself to forgive, because he knows he fucked up too, a lot, and he knoes they learned from their mistakes just as he had (except c!techno FUCKKK c!techno mf doesnt learn SHITTT) and he knows, when the time comes he knows hed want the people he hurt to forgive him too. (And he wants Wilbur to do the same)

Next qoute i will cut to a couple parts because its really so good and full of character i had to bro

Foolish: "Do you consider yourself to be the good guy or the bad guy?"

Tommy: "It really depends who you ask, isn't it? Yknow? If you asked dream he'd say im *his little toy that he plays with* you know? It doesnt.."

This part really stunned me when i first heard it because, and correct me If im wrong, but i dont think tommy ever acknowledged how dream sees him, and  how right he has his viewpoint too. Just the fact tommy is so *painfully* aware of how dream doesnt even see him as a person anymore but just a toy to mess around with for a while than just throw it away when it get too boring really hurt me. Someone give this kid a hug

(Continued) Tommy: "...foolish, honestly? I used to consider myself 'the good guy', you know? The fuckin'- second in command! But these past- these past like six months or so, foolish, everything got so much harder than it was before. Because before it was just us vs bad guys, it was all so clear! But- its not been 'clear' for so long, right? It wasn't; 'these are the bad guys! These are the good guys!' Now it's : 'he's doing this and it makes him a bit worse-' i mean, it all got so complicated, so- i don't know. Depends who you ask."

He says this, in response to foolish asking if hes a good guy- but its awfully similar to if Wilbur asked him if they were the bad guys. Because foolish just asked about him, and yet in his answer tommy made sure to keep using the words "us, he's, guys" as if hes not really talking about himself, as if hes explaining how Wilbur was wrong. Which he was. Also something interesting ive noticed, he says "the last 6 months or so", which indicated that with Wilbur he knew better to follow his word and leadership- with Wilbur he was always on the right side but when he lost him he felt much more lost alone, and couldn't trust himself enough to be on the "right side" .

Foolish: "I dont know, it all seems strange because just from, you know- hearing from others and, you know, learing a little bit, its seems like you've been the hero, you've been the villain, the conqueror, the savior, and, even now, i have no idea what you exactly are."

Tommy: "that's up to you to decide, isn't it? Im just- *uh*  i dont know. These days, foolish, I'm a little weaker than i used to be"

Foolish couldn't be more right with what he said, another example of this we see where a character acknowledges tommy never sticks to one thing us Charlie when calling him "tommy fron nowhere" which shows more how he cant stick to one thing, during the course of him on the server he had been friends and enemy with nearly everyone, been on pretty much all sides, and while never really intentionally, being in the center of conflict. When foolish says he doesnt know who tommy is anymroe at this point and all Tommy says in return is that "hes a little weaker than he used to be" does to show he misses who he used to be, with lmanburg, with Wilbur, when he knew who he was, now he doesn't know who he is anymore, but still so desperately want to be more demonstrated by the lines coming rigth after that one:

(Continued) Tommy: "..I'm not- I'm now who i want to be, but-"

Foolish: "Being honest with you, Tommy, that's the same case for me as well."

Tommy: "...heres the thing, foolish, unlike you i dont really have a choice. I have to try and be who i want to be, because if i dont, very bad things are gonna happen in this server. And now that Wilbur's back i can't- quite frankly *no one* can risk that. So i dont really have a choice."

Tommy want's to change- he wants to be better than he is now, to be closer to who he used to be, no matter how impossible that might be, but he also sees it as an immediate thing, he wants to change now, or asap, which is why hes collecting stone for Wilbur in the first place- old him would've done that with ease just because Wilbur asked and he wants to have that back so badly, asap. The way he talked about this reminded me of when he tried getting over his trauma stream before he went in the prison to kill dream: he knew he wasnt the best but he tried getting over that asap to go kill dream asap. He didnt wanna take the long road of years of healing and instead thought he could get over it just like that, and that experience clearly didnt teach him anything because now hes trying to slide back to the relationship he and Wilbur used to have and ignoring the drastic changes they both had plus the bad moments that were the reason they feel out in the first place, or maybe he knows, but at this point, after everything that happened to him and the server, he doesnt care anymore? He knows hes not the same he was and he'll never be the same, because thats not how it works, but his mentor, president, big brother is back after so long tommy felt so lost and alone he thinks maybe, this time around, with Wilbur, he could try and be better again.

[twopoppies]

Firstly No pressure to read any of the below it’s just a lil rant after I ended up on the wrong side of tumblr!! ( + I have ADHD and i forgot my meds lol so its a bit disoriented and all over the place) and no response necessary unless you want to!

Oh god I accidentally ended up on the wrong side of tumblr....never ever ever ever again, I went back so fastttt lol im laughing at myself rn for how quickly i clicked away from disgust

i ended up on a blog that stalks u and some other larries and says absolutely atrocious things abt louis (I can send u their @ if u'd like so u can block them) and fully bought the stunt bs happening rn and it was horrible obvs but like i just do not understand like it was so creepy gina and im just so disgusted bc why? yk?

like u were not joking abt anti's actually being obsessed with larries - like half this person's blog was talking abt you and amy and i was just so shocked cause why??? like mate come on what the actual f? get a life please?? (im quite new so im like just now realising how insanely weird and obsessed these anti's are)

Also it was just an overall eye opener for multiple things:

Starting with that 1. the way 1DHQ and 1D Management managed to alienate larries actually worked and i like knew but truly doing a proper deep dive and seeing multiple blogs hate on larries and like obsessively stalk us was insane?? Like they truly believe everything they’re being fed???

Side Note: Lowkey feeling very lucky to have had the education i have because even before i even joined this fandom i believed partially none of the relationships in the news bc like i knew abt this industry and how it worked yk? i mean its logic? i have so many mates that arent even in the fandom that know i am in the fandom and texted me when the articles started rolling out calling it out for what it was: A PR stunt

Hell someone i know whom i had never even talked abt fandom stuff/stunt stuff fully texted me making a joke out of it!!! like people who aren’t even in our fandom can see it and its just insanely surprising that if they can why cant the antis?? im just a bit shocked rn

both from 1. finding someone who actually believes in this stunt and 2. multiple blogs that fully commit their time to stalking u and other larries and once again i knew but fully seeing it

YK AT FIRST I WAS LIKE IS THIS A JOKE I DIDNT BELIEVE IT GINA I THOUGHT SOMEONE WAS PULLING MY LEG OR THIS PERSON WAS IDK BEING SARCASTIC AND HAD A MESSED UP SENSE OF HUMOUR but ye anyway

It made me realise that 1DHQ knew what the fuck they were doing when they were trying to alienate larries from the rest of the fandom, once again i am feeling extraordinarily grateful to have grown up with an education where i was literally taught to never trust anything and to always think things thru using logic - “does it makes sense to you? if not find out why, there usually a reason behind everything” my yr 9 english teacher used to say smth like that all the time and it just never left me bc she was always teaching us to judge everything and to take every piece of news we read entertainment or otherwise with a grain of salt and to always if we’re gonna give someone else our opinion or spread this information do our research (its what i am when i say i feel lucky to have had the education i have had)

Eye Opener 2: Anti’s are fully standing y’all u were 100% correct this is some next level stan behaviour if i’ve ever seen some, you’re famous gina!!

It is while surprisingly to realise that anti’s fully believe these things, more surprising to see how they treat larries bc why on earth would u treat any other human being this way??? like dont get me wrong they’re horrible ppl and i fully felt like sending them a message telling them exactly that but i would never bc i just dont want to make another person feel bad abt themselves even if they are that shitty of a person and it was very tempting

I just would like to understand why they feel the need to do this? like why hate on a whole other person? for what believing smth diff to u? having a difference of opinion? how tf are they gonna make it when they get a job??? like??? do u know how often i run into a person with a different opinion then me? it shouldn’t be that big of a deal! we should still be able to be friends with antis! but we’re not - not for lack of trying btw!! they’re just so mean and rude??? when i was in other fandoms when someone believed different things there was never this much hatred at someone for it!! hell there was barely any bc it was understood that it was normal to have diff opinions abt things and i just am truly fascinated by these ppl i swear they remind how stupid the human race can sometimes be not for what they believe (altho ngl a lil of that too) but for how they treat other ACTUAL human beings with different opinions to them

Eye Opener 2.5: Some people need lives, man like they proper do need lives and something to do maybe a hobby or smth? just like a life they need to get one of those and actual live it

and Eye Opener 3: I already felt this way but like even god damn stronger now you deserve a formal apology from both 1DHQ and the universe

and until we get that u deserve amazing things coming from the boys on your bdays to make up for it

Lastly Gina I hope you didn't read thru all that bc I couldn’t even read it over and thus sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes and I would also like to say that I love your blog and everything about you! you’re an absolute angel and one of the kindest ppl I have ever had the pleasure of well not meeting but stumbling across, you truly make this fandom a much much much better place with your presence (I shudder to think of it without u) that said if you ever need to take breaks or leave Im sure you already know but you should 100%

You first!!! Always! :)

Have a good day Gina, I hope its an absolutely amazing one!

Hi darling. LOL! Reading this was like talking with my kids when they don't take their ADHD meds. Lots of excited thoughts!! I loved it.

And yeah, that blog and their 4 followers are really... not well. But you're very right. 1DHQ made this fandom a breeding ground for people to hate larries and to think it's something Harry and Louis would both approve of. It's gross.

The gaslighting here is powerful, so thank goodness for fans like you who know to question what they're told and to look at things with logic and to do their best to see through their own biases.

Thank you for all the sweet words and your offer to kick butt (in your other message). I really appreciate it!

[sometipsygnostalgic]

adventure time wizard city liveblog

 well here we go

my last adventure time liveblog, i havent actually done one of these in MANY years... probably not since 2014

this takes place at the same time as obsidian?

DID-- DID CHOOSE GOOSE JUST DIE

DID BUFO JUST KILL CHOOSE GOOSE

yeah i know that’s bufo, they only made it enormously obvious, tsk tsk

@spaceacepearl​ joked about us seeing choose goose get sent to hell but i diDNT EXPECT IT TO HAPPEN

This music is i assume by one of the many musical artists Adam Muto listed on twitter, it rocks. It’s not as hardcore as Obsidian’s intro, but it’s suitably chill for the scene. 

“get offa my bus kid”

Those wizards in the left and far right groups appear to be new! 

OH MY GOD--

HELP?????? NEW PROFILE PIC TIME

HAHAHAHAH

THE MUSICAL CON DID ME GOOD, I DID REALLY LOUD AUDIBLE LAUGHTER

i bet hanna and co had fun making these signs

my favourite is the cat with “FAMILIARS HAVE RIGHTS”

cadorka..... wow

We’re not even four minutes into the ep and peppermint butler has already killed someone in front of a large group of witnesses

“this smells of DARK MAGIC” “yall kids know thats illegal right” peps watches the other kids nod before later joining in, LOL

i cant believe pep started the great gum wars and got killed by golb

SOMEONE has been playing Overwatch... 

i-- i still cant believe choose goose is fucking dead

how long was he stuck in hell for, or was that recent to together again after new death showed up 

i have to admit im not a big fan of spader, too perfect, and not in that funny way either. i hope they give him some characteristics that make him stand out. 

im getting flashbacks to OK KO and Owl House here...

Cadebra using music is a reference to Abracadaniel’s love of interpretetive dance in Play Date. 

“they only laugh because youre different” “i know” “SO STOP BEING DIFFERENT” oh my god it’s like talking to my own parents cadebra is actually... a LOT like me, less in her hyperactivity but more in her nonchalant enthusiasm and almost acceptance of the inevitable bullying because it means more time in people’s consciousness

ahhh - it’s quietly revealed here that she is responsible and a skilled magician, she is just bored of magic! i like that she parents abracadaniel instead of being downtrodden by his ramblings. 

PEP NO--- oh i see the problem, he hasn’t got his Bug Milk... sorry Martin Olsen fans, no Hunson today. At least we get one more Phil Face for the road! 

candy people in their natural habitat

Ahhh that’s Doctor Calidoneus! The voice actor was at the recent Distant Lands panel alongside Pep and Blaine’s actors. 

“pretty sure hes just trashcandy” - i like you, sassy antler lady

the mystery of how he gets clothes

and once again spader is proving to be the most irritating distant lands character of the lot, there is no subversion here. where is the subversion?  

NANI

what is going on here? are pep and peppermint the same person or not? im sure they must be, but there is something going on here with peppermint butler’s soul being trapped in the body of his child self who hasn’t got the same memories. 

OH, HYNDEN WALCH DID A NEW LINE yes this is what im here for, special over 

peppermint butler cursed himself... of course he did - Shado was correct!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUCK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

ROCK STUDENT, BLESSED ROCK STUDENT, WAS THAT POOR GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE A JAWBREAKER

love the reference to astral plane, of course pep cant astrally project because cursed pep is still inside of him 

wow, blaine, wow

they have a crush

LITTLE DUDE! COLE SANCHEZ!

i love the dynamic between cadebra and abracadaniel, imo so far it’s the heart of the special. im not really gripped by peppermint butler’s school troubles. i imagine someone else probably will be but i want to run past that shit as far as possible. 

TRDGFYGHJH

WE

WE MADE  A PREDICTION THAT WAS JUST LIKE THIS

PEPPERMINT BUTLER GETTING TURNED INTO THE FOUR COMPONENTS OF PEPPER MINT BUTT LURE WAS IN THE WIZARD CITY PREDICTIONS ART DRAW THAT HASNT BEEN POSTED YET

ILL SHOW YOU WHEN NICK POSTS THE VIDEO and then ill tell you who made the prediction because i... think it was nick himself, insanity 

who plagiarized finn’s signature???

turns out pep really DID take over wizard city!!!!

i love this band

i understand your pain peps

you probably have a bit too much in common with your mother, and i imagine it isn’t easy being turned into a kid and not being able to do stuff that came so easy. you’re disappointing yourself! (he’s literally disappointing himself)

I’m less than halfway through the special, what the fuck. I wasn’t wrong when I said Wizard City had a lot on its plate. It’s noit that I’ve been particularly gripped up to this point, though to be fair I didn’t pause at all during the other specials barring Obsidian. 

that... that poor kid is still a rock

and then the preview happened and bufo casually revealed to the audience that, yes, he killed choose goose

i dont know whats happening with pep but it seems he needs to be exorcised of... pep. which is a shame. i hope they learn to coexist. 

i have to say the background work in this special is really good! like, really damn good. 

WH

WHAT

DID SPADER JUST DIE

IS THIS WHY PEOPLE THINK PEPBUT KILLED HIM 

oh thats right - abracadaniel is cadebra’s uncle! this must be abracadniels sister. sorry, folks, he doesn’t fuck. 

Where are they? Is this anywhere near Wizard City? It’s an unpopulated prewar wasteland. 

THESE ARE JUST HUMANS

OF COURSE SHE WANTS TO PERFORM TO MILQUETOAST HUMANS

my child

is this an art style choice or did they get the people from that one studio to make this

HANNA FINALLY GETS TO FULFIL HER DREAM OF INSERTING KANEDA INTO ADVENTURE TIME

the red jacket he wears and his head pill shape is a big kaneda reference actually, which i suppose makes sense considering he’s a rival to our protagonist, but it’s a bit on the nose

bufo killed one of his own students? but why????

“MY UNCLE’S A COP”

“no one likes a rat”

i actually really like blaine, though im confused. did their VA change halfway through the special?

HOW NATURAL, NO WASTE, IT IS AN ENDLESS CHAIN

did doctor caledonius steal the trophy,,,? 

EVIL SNAIL EVIL SNAIL

MONMSTER HUNJTER DISCOVERY NOISE, this time it’s a tetsucabra

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I HAVE QUESTIONS

god i wish this is what this special was about, i miss adventure time

these remind me of the comics with their art style :) i wonder who designed them? the one on the right with pb and pep, in particular, very comics-y. 

fdgfhgf because he’s like 500

“pep can be kind of a jerk but he wouldn’t kill anyone”

sorry, cadebra, i have news for you

is doctor calednoius the true villain? if bufo’s out of the picture, she MUST be, 

ANTS

oh no, he might gbe stuck in wizard city :( 

HELP

the writing on the wall...

SPADER LITERALLY FUCKING DIED OH YM JESUS CHRIST

PEPPERMINT BUTLER’S OWN CULT????

THIS IS JUST OK KO NOW

okay im not surprised all the teachers at wizard city are cultists in worship of peps, maybe they killed spader and bufo because they bullied peps T_T

wait no, they thought spader had the potential, but sadly not

HE FUCKING KILLED HIMSELF

sorry, i was distracted by the pretty dope fight sequence and now the special is over????

fucking jesse, hes probably at least partly responsible for the cult nonsense

This credits art is by Maya Petersen!!!! Holy shit it’s adorable!

LRETGFDRGTFGMHGFHFG

LEAF MAN

DO YOU THINK THEY PUT HIM IN RETROSPECTIVELY

DO YOU THINK MAYA PETERSEN DREW THIS AND ADAM PUT IT IN THE EP RETROSPECTIVELY

HE LIVES

MAYBE THIS IS WHY CHOOSE GOOSE WENT TO HELL

okay, it’s over :) 

first thoughts out of the way: not a big fan of this special. it’s like watching a completely different show. it’s not got the PZSHAHH of the normal wizard city stuff and there weren’t a lot of funny jokes or even hearty moments in the thing. 

it suffers from a lack of invested character interactions, much like BMO did. there was not a single main cast member in the whole thing! and like i said before, much of peppermint butler’s character in the show is based on his very sweet relationship to his mother, princess bubblegum, so when they showed a single (hilarious) photo of them together it made me sad we didn’t get any scenes with them together. it would have STOLEN this episode. and they teased the hunson golf photo, and death!!! and jake appeared in a photo T_T last jake appearance. 

it also suffers because Peppermint Butler is clearly not himself, imo he was way more entertaining in the Together Again special, where we seem him back to his “normal” self. 

i dont think peps being a dark wizard was something to “kill off” exactly. i wonder what was going on there? was that actually peps, or was that a spirit he cursed himself with based on himself? we at least know in the future he does become a dark wizard again, and even princess :) this special didn’t answer those questions but lol. 

THE GOOD STUFF, because yes, there was a lot of good stuff! 

God, I’m with Aracle and Maya on this - I LOVE Cadebra and her relationship to Pep. I wish she was even in more of this - I would love to watch the adventures of Cadebra and Pepbut in their first year of school, like in the end credits.

That, imo, is where the heart of the special lay - Peppermint Butler’s attempts to impress himself, versus Cadebra’s self acceptance and desire to follow her dreams of being a goofy goober, no matter what other people thought of her. 

It turned out that Cadebra is a responsible student and family member. I really liked that. Her scenes with Abracadaniel were, somehow, my favourite in the entire special! 

I like that theres a lot of cool magic towards the end of this special, and a lot of HORRIFYING DEATH. It wouldn’t be adventure time if you didn’t randomly kill off child characters. Poor Spader, I hated you but damn, what a grim fate. 

I like that Bufo and Caledonius had this crush/hatred thing going on, but they were part of the same cult in the end. 

I didn’t like the giant peps scene at the end, the monster was extremely milquetoast compared to the madness we usually get in AT. Obsidian, for example, had the awesome Larvo design. Nemesis had some INSANE dark magic!!!!  I wish they drew more from that episode. 

Considering how much Steve Little appears in this special, I do feel bad for Mace (little Peps). He said he would have really benefitted from coaching, but recieved none. He had to re-record his lines 3 times! Judging from his description of events, Wizard City was a hard time for him. 

The wizard school did remind me, heavily, of both The Owl House and OK KO. Personally I was hoping AT would offer me something more insane, but I do love both of those shows, and I know Wizard City was on a really tight schedule. 

I think they should have spent less time on the school bullying plot, and skipped straight to MURDER. 

We did have a cold opening, not on par with Together Again’s at all, but damn!

I am wondering where I would put this in the watch list? I do think it should sit after Obsidian as the third special. The intro scene makes it clear this takes place at the same time as Obsidian!!!

Well, that was it, the last ep of AT for the next few years at least T_T

i think together again was the better finale, definitely. but wizard city feels pretty detached from AT for me, despite the familiar characters it tonally isn’t like the show other than the awesome brutal death scenes. I thought the last 11 minutes was easily the best in the special! Which, honestly, is how it should be, though I do wish it gripped me more. Maybe I’m just not the target audience for Wizard City? It feels like something I would find very compelling if I was a bit younger! 

[tigerdrop]

hey i just wanna say the long posts genuinely make my day. also can you talk more about gordon freeman character because the way you write him makes me quake in my gay little boots

i would love to talk about gordon freeman. thank u for the opportunity

the first thing i need to communicate about gordon is that this dude sucks. and i say this in the fondest way possible. he is a bitch from the moment he drops into the world until the moment he goes out. if you dont believe me, give it another watch! gordons mouthy and rude for no real reason, at least so far as “being a regular dude on his way into work” goes, and this dude goes around calling his coworkers names with zero provocation. (of course, we all know that the reason is because its a funny guy improv stream that borrows a bit from freemans mind, but im talkin from a character sense.)

but my argument isnt just that gordon freeman sucks. its that he sucks in a very specific way that i find insanely endearing. i love this dude. i love to hate him. hes awful in a very mundane sense - weve all known a guy like this, at least if youve spent too much time online - and its cathartic to watch him suffer because of it.

gordons a smart guy. as written, hes gotta be - hes a recent MIT grad, on his way to work at a top-secret research facility to do weird shit with crystals and theoretical physics. but the thing about smart guys is that theyre often......selectively intelligent. we can see this in the way that he has a hard time navigating his surroundings, and needs the science crew to guide him through it and keep him alive.

this is one of those things that is a natural consequence of somebody going through the game for the first time, but that i am interpreting as “gordon is kind of stupid sometimes”. its uncharitable but its not like he doesnt deserve it. he likes to boss around the crew as if he knows what hes doing, when he often very much does not, and is fond of demeaning their intelligence. hes real bad about this with tommy in particular, treating him like hes a kid whos playing at being a scientist when tommy is actually a decade older than him. all i am saying is that gordon ought to stay humble. hes awful cocky when he perceives himself as better than others.

which, i think, tracks with how cocky he gets when he gives up on the whole “well-meaning citizen” thing and just unloads bullets into people. he puts up a front of being a Nice Guy, you know, just some dude caught in a bad situation who doesnt like seeing his companions obliterate every NPC they come across, but that doesnt stop him from cackling like a fucking madman and mowing down aliens (and soldiers) every once in awhile. when he stops seeing himself as helpless and starts seeing himself as the one in control, the gloves come off. he gets mean. and i think thats very sexy of him

this, among other things, is why i am insistent that gordon freeman is a control freak. he desperately wants to be in control of the situation at all times, shepherding around the science crew primarily by bitching at them, but its of limited success. its futile. sisyphean. tommy, coomer, bubby, and benrey exist almost to torment him with exactly the thing that would make him suffer the most: a gaggle of people running around causing problems for him, but he cant go anywhere without them b/c hes reliant on them to make it out alive.

its perpetual suffering, and its cathartic to watch. and funny, too. and if youre a little weirdo like me, its very, very enjoyable. how twisted up he gets when nobodys listening to him! how sweaty and frazzled he must look. its cute, and it also makes me want to reach through the screen and shake him and tell him to just be a little nicer. he wants control but he doesnt know how to attain it, he doesnt know how to play nice like a real leader. i think its a neat contrast to gordon freeman as we know him in HL2, where he literally is the leader of the resistance and has to live up to it. this is gordon freeman but if he was moe through helplessness.

“helpless” is, i think, a great way to describe him. a core bit of imagery in half life is this sense of railroadedness and helplessness, with gordon freeman being put into play like a chess piece and having no choice but to move forward. and this iteration of gordon leans into that by being totally dependent on the science crew in order to make progress and Not Die. and hes also subject to the whims of benrey, local eldritch weirdo who has basically made it his life mission to fuck with gordon.

gordons anxieties dont help with that. if he wasnt so fun to stress out and fuck with, the science crew probably wouldnt do it so much! too bad for him that they like fucking with him so much that he was driven into a panic attack (multiple times, even, depending on your interpretation). hes got that real neurotic mindset. always worrying about shit that could go wrong, and attempting to exert control over his surroundings in an effort to control the anxiety.

IMO the real way to nail the Neurotic Gordon Freeman Experience is to combine the ever-present anxiety with his pervasive sense of self-loathing. he openly states that he has no friends and nobody seems to like him, and to that, i really gotta say, i wonder why. he doesnt really seem to factor in that hes kind of a bitch, and has way too high an estimation of his own intelligence relative to everybody elses. its really one of the worst ways to be: aware that people dont like you, but unaware of exactly why. if he was like, 10% nicer, he probably wouldnt have had half as many issues getting through black mesa, but also, its funny to see him squawking his way through the game. so, you know.

its stuff like that that makes me headcanon him as a dude with low self-esteem in general. convinced that hes not likable, not attractive, out of his element......impostor syndrome, except that theres some truth to it. this is a guy who truly does not realize how good he has it: he really is just an average shitty dude, and yet, somehow, benrey took a shine to him. some poor motherfucker out there actually likes him and wants to suck his dick. thats dedication

also, i keep bringing up “repression” when i talk about gordon. and hopefully, what ive been talking about helps explain why. he has a strong desire to be a regular dude, not just murdering his way through black mesa, but if hes pushed hard enough he leans into it. gets bossy. picks up a cigar off a dead soldier and takes a long drag, before smacking forzen around with a pistol and ordering him around. gordon freeman is a regular, kind of anxious guy who likes competitive swimming and streaming on justin.tv and making anime references, and he is also a guy who takes a filthy pleasure in making a trained soldier his bitch. and i didnt make up any of this shit - this is purestrain canon, baby. this is a guy with problems

to me, this screams the kind of guy who represses a lot of shit b/c he doesnt feel like its morally decent. you run into this guy a lot online: the wokeboy, the online leftist, the guy who spends too much time on social media websites. (like reddit. i think he would actively use reddit and he would never get any appreciable amount of karma but he never stops posting. its sisyphean! cathartic.) from the way he talks about “bootboys”, i think it tracks. he knows about imperialism, he knows about feminism, but at the end of the day hes your average american white dude who struggles with internalizing it.

a lot of those dudes struggle with sex and gender issues. (dont we all.) when youre trying to be a Good Person(tm), you spend a lot of time thinking about your own relationship to sex and kink and all that shit. and i maintain that a too-online dude who buries a lot of his control freak tendencies would also try to bury a lot of weird sexual shit in an attempt to seem Normal and Well-Adjusted and not like a little freak. i justify this by the sheer number of times gordon blurts out weird sex shit as a joke. there are only two outcomes to making that many piss jokes: either youre secretly a piss guy, or you lathe-of-heaven yourself into becoming one. i will stand by this

ive talked a lot about why this dude sucks. now, let me talk to you about what makes gordon so much fun to write. first things first: hes funny! a subjective evaluation, yeah, but both in- and out-of-character, hes aiming to be funny. and being the straight man to everybody else plays into that whole “helplessness” thing.

secondly: underneath it all, there is a good dude under there. gordon worries when his companions get hurt, he tries to clean them off and patch them up, and hes got his lil leftist heart in the right place. you could even read a lot of his bossy, bitchy demeanor as him wanting to make sure everyone gets out okay and doesnt hurt themselves. when it comes to animals and anti-imperialist sentiment, gordons a pretty good guy.

hes the kind of guy who would probably see a dog on the street and get excited and play with it, but would get really prickly about the correct way to put dishes in the dishwasher. control freak tendencies.

finally, subjecting such a miserable, tormented guy to even more psychological anguish is really, really fun. you feel a little bad for him, but he kind of deserves it. so many problems he goes through are purely of his own making, and if gordon would just relax and quit trying to hard to maintain control - of himself, of the people around him - and own up to having Problems and Issues, he would be a happier guy. but thats why its fun to bend him until he breaks. being a little control freak myself, putting gordon freeman thru psychosexual torment is cathartic.

when it comes to writing his thought processes, the fact that he is canonically some kind of psychotic (yes, i am boldly claiming this. suck me) and i am also canonically some kind of psychotic makes it easier to write what i think his thought processes are. i just give him my brain issues of “getting lost in thought” and “overthinking fucking everything”. a touch of paranoia helps. even if i dont explicitly label him as schizophrenic please know that i am writing him as a paranoid little nutcase at all times because, uh, you write what you know.

paranoid. anxious. of the mindset that everyones out to get him (which isnt helpful when everyone is out to get him). repressed and deeply Not Normal but trying so very fucking hard to be normal and well-adjusted. a control freak with sadistic tendencies who also really, really likes getting bullied by his best frenemy. a hapless little nerd who sounds really cute when his voice starts to break from nerves. and, most importantly, a dumb jock. do not ever forget this.

thats gordon freeman, babey. hope that helps

[dinolikes]

IMPOSTER- PART TWO

summery ❤︎ Nobody has any quirks and are stuck on a ship like among us

pairings ❤︎ Imposter!Dabi x Reader

content warnings ❤︎ major character death

| prev. |

you sobbed into dabi's chest as hawks and ingeniumu covered thirteens body with a sheet, everyone looking over, some with tears, and some with just a blank look, like they were still processing it.

it was silent for a long time before ingeniumu cleared his throat and looked up, everyone seeing the ghost of tears in his eyes, "we have to call h-headquarters," his voice cracked but he stood tall, he would make a great captain one day, even with his pushover attitude.

you were crowded in the cafeteria, a computer resting on the table with headquarters on the line.

"im sorry to say this but you have an imposter."

you shook your head, you refused to believe it, how could these people, your FRIENDS, who you've lived with for a year, how could they be imposters?

though you shouldnt be surprised, the league has been gaining members, rarely any ship didnt have at least ONE imposter, some even having as much as three, you just thought you guys were the exception.

"twice, hawks, you searched thirteens body correct?" a voice came through the screen.

"yes sir," hawks quietly muttered.

"was everything in place?"

"he didnt have the vent key."

the vent key, really easy to pass through, was originally made for people to quickly go from room to rooms, but after the rise of imposters who started using it to sneak up on people, only one person was allowed to use it per day.

the voice cursed, "very well." a sigh could be heard, "well you know the drill," you did, you just didnt like it, "if you suspect someone, send them out and let them die," you gulped.

you didnt know if you could do that, even knowing that someone here murdered thirteen, you learned to care for each of them, even weirdo itchy snatch tomura. you didnt know if you could just send them into space to suffocate. even the thought made you sick.

"until then, we'll need you to finish your tasks fast, we'll have you home by the end of the day, which means the imposter will probably try to kill faster today. watch out." with that a beep was heard, signaling that you were disconnected.

a grim silence filled the room.

hawks finally spoke up, "which one of you assholes did it?"

dabi glared at the taller man, "fuck you dude, how do we know you didnt do it?"

hawks took a step closer, "bold accusations from someone who seems to hate everyone!"

"why would I kill one of the only people I actually like in this shithole?"

"because he had the vent key dumbass!"

"hey!" twice yelled.

hawks glowered at him, "oh yeah, how could we forget twice here? you found the body right? meaning you were the last one to see him? why DID you decide to check on him huh?"

"why would I come to you guys then?!"

"i dunno, to throw off suspicion maybe?"

you finally snapped "stop it!" everyone's heads shot towards you, "thirteen is dead," you choked out, "and I know thay we're all upset but we just have to finish today's tasks and then we're back home, okay?"

everyone stared, until deku started nodding, "y-yeah! just today's tasks left! then we'll go home and catch the imposter and we'll be fine!"

"what makes you so sure we'll catch him once we get home idiot?"

deku stared up confusingly at kaachan, "dont we have cameras?"

ingeniumu looked at his friend "obviously deku but whatre you getting at?"

"our cameras have memory sticks," shoto spoke up quietly, "when they're connected into one of headquarters machines, you can access all of what it caught,"

deku nodded rapidly, "exactly!"

your eyes lit up, "deku your a genius!" you grabbed his head and gave him a big smooch on the forehead, leaving him a red and stuttering mess.

dabi tsk'ed, "c'mere,' he grabbed you hand and pulled you towards him, wrapping you hands around you and resting his head on your shoulder.

you rolled your eyes playfully at his jealous nature.

"fine. we finish our task but if another person is found dead we're booting someone off." with that, hawks stormed off.

you tried not to go too harsh on him, you knew hawks looked up to thirteen, and beneath that cocky demeanor, he really was soft.

knowing that though, you couldnt help but feel some fear and resentment.

fear because you didnt think you could kill off one of your own and resentment because you knew hawks would make you do exactly that.

"we should have a plan," ingeniumu speaks up, "4 groups of two who continue on and do their tasks, and I think twice should be on security, just incase the imposter attacks again," everyone nods.

"i'll go with wonder," dabi states, already grabbing your hand,

"dont you think you'll get distracted with...other things?" tomura smirks, dabi clenching your hand in his.

"fuck. off."

"oo feisty~"

dabi glares, "yknow you dont really seem to care much that thirteens dead!"

tomura's eyes flash a dangerous color and he leans forward.

"the FUCK did you just say?"

"you heard me you fucking incel,"

"stop!" ingeniumu yells, "tomura is right, you guys do get quite distracted, wonder is with hawks, dabi your with shoto. ill go with tomura and that leaves deku and kaachan, with twice on security. let's go!"

dabi grumbles but goes with his brother as you lightly kiss him on the cheek and go with hawks.

you cant help but think about how amazing that kid is gonna be when hes older as a captain of his own ship.

you and hawks head off, both of you checking your list and stopping by rooms, the other waiting as they finish their task and repeating, until hawks sighed.

"how are you dating that asshole?"

you laugh, "hes not too bad once he likes you,"

"and what? he just doesn't like me?"

"exactly."

"what if he didnt like thirteen?" your smile drops instantly.

"hawks..."

"I'm just saying!"

"well STOP saying! I know dabi and he wouldnt betray me like that, so whatever accusations you have against MY boyfriend, I dont wanna here it," you scowl as you check your notebook, and started heading forward, "c'mon. I have to do wires in electrical."

hawks stayed quiet through the walk, as you stormed forward, wanting to get as much away from him as possible without ACTUALLY losing him. if you were being honest you were scared of going off alone.

as you walked in electrical you instantly went towards the wires, not noticing hawks standing in the doorway,

"wonder?"

"yes hawks?" you snap.

"I just saw someone vent." you pause and turn around.

"where and who?!"

"I dont know! I just saw the vent close when we walked in here and since Thirteen had the key before he died, that means that only the imposter can vent!"

"fuck! why would they vent though?!"

hawks paused. "maybe they killed someone again."

tears filled your eyes as you started searching the dark room, almost tripping over something, you only briefly looked up but you choked back a sob.

it was a foot.

"hawks!"

he came running towards you from behind the wall and saw the foot, gulping as he turned on the flashlight.

there say ingeniumu, with his throat slashed.

you couldnt hold back the cry that left your throat as hawks pulled you in for a hug, mostly to hide his own tears.

"what's going on in here?" you heard dabi's voice and you lifted you head to see him and shoto.

he looked mad but when hawks gestured with his flashlight towards the body, the brief flash letting both of the boys see, dabi understood.

"c'mere baby," he grabbed you quickly and held you tight as you sobbed into his chest, dabi looked up at his brother, "shoto can you call a meeting?" he asked softly. you assumed shoto nodded because there were no other words spoken.

there you all sat again, in cafeteria.

you were sniffling as dabi played with your hair, you holding shoto close as he leaned into you, still in shock of seeing his friend's lifeless corpse like that.

deku stood tall and didnt bother to hide the tears streaming down his face and even kaachan was caught sniffling a bit.

twice sat quietly in the corner, with his elbows on his knees.

hawks though, was red in the face from anger. and the victim of his anger was none other than tomura.

"you were teamed up with him fuckface!"

tomura simply shrugged, "I got bored and wanted to check on twice, see if he was alive,"

"well he is! but your partner fucking isnt!" hawks jammed his finger against the other mans chest, "and I think YOURE the cause!"

tomura raised his eyebrows, "I was with twice, right twice?" he did a 180 to stare hard at twice who looked up slightly and slowly nodded. that seemed to please tomura though as he turned back around, "see?"

"that doesnt mean shit! you were supposed to be with him!"

"but I wasnt."

"but you WERE! that's why the kid is dead!"

"I say we vote." shoto's voice was muffled by your neck and dabi's chest, where he was currently crammed in, but it was still intelligible.

you raise your head and wipe a few stray tears, "I think that's smart sho,"

you all nod and murmur in agreement.

"fine then. let's vote." hawks glares at tomura one last time, "who says skip?"

tomura, twice and shoto raise their hands.

"i dont think theres enough evidence." shoto explains and you nod, quietly telling him that theres nothing wrong with his belief.

hawks has a slight triumph look on his face, "who says that tomura is a fucking psychopath who likes to murder children!"

"murder a child. thirteen is practically twice my age" tomura corrects, "and besides I didn't do it."

hawks rolls his eyes, "whatever, everyone just vote."

you, dabi, hawks, deku and kaachan raise your hand, making you guys the winner.

"perfect." hawks drags tomura over to the ejecting room, usually used for heavier garbage that didnt fit in the disposal.

as you all surrounding the glass wall that separated you and tomura you cried a bit more.

sure you hated this dude but you still KNEW him!

"anything left to say sicko?" hawks glared at the smiling tomura.

"maybe you arent as much of a bird brain as I thought hawks. good job, you win," he does a slight bow like this was a performance before hawks pulls the lever, tomura's body flying out before hawks closed it again.

"he admitted to it." deku stated simply.

"yeah."

| next |