#cos i genuinely think it looks AMAZING and i love that he went w/ such an interesting style

[ptergwen]

sensation

w/c: 4.6k

warnings: some swearing, suggestive tings, and a pretty bad ending

summary: it’s the last night of your world tour, and tom has the perfect way to celebrate

a/n: i know y’all have been waiting for this one! everyone really loved when worlds collide but i ran out of ideas for it lol sorry... anyways my solution was to turn it into a oneshot :D based off the au!! i’m honestly nervous about posting this cuz a lot of you asked for it and i don’t wanna disappoint but i tried my absolute hardest to make it special <3 please enjoy

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“thank you so much! we love you!” you shout to the audience, laughing breathlessly when they shout back. one of your dancers pulls you into a side hug, you throwing your arm around his neck. “we’re so fucking lucky you chose us, that you came all the way here. i’ve seen some of you back at night one. wow.” your voice gets wobbly, thinking about how loyal your fans are.

the tour started in new york, and they’ve followed you here to london.

tonight is an emotional night for everyone. you’re about to wrap your last show before you continue again in the summer. touring the u.k. has been a dream, and you’re just as thrilled to travel the rest of the world after your break. it’s bittersweet because you’re going to miss the hell out of your crew and the millions of lovely faces you’ve sang to each week. but, you do get to spend your time off with a special someone.

he’s watching you from the sound booth, sending fond smiles and loud cheers your way. thanks to you, tom has been at every show you’ve played in england. he brought harry along this time because he’s also a fan and wanted to see you. well, tom is more than a fan at this point. you’d say he’s more of a boyfriend. you haven’t discussed labels just yet.

your dates have mainly been over facetime, since you live on opposite sides of the world with insane schedules. a heartthrob actor and international popstar is quite the combination. you’ve only seen each other in person a couple of times, the first being pretty recently.

zendaya brought tom along to hang out with you in los angeles. he happened to be there recording some lines for a movie. she saw your concert earlier that night and invited him to crash the dinner plans you’d made, resulting in the best surprise and most fun you’ve ever had. the other time you enjoyed each other’s company was one weekend in paris. that was... something.

besides those two miracles, everything between you and tom happens through a screen. you’ll down bottles of champagne or keep warm under blankets while talking about your days. it’s nice, having someone on the other end who listens and actually hears you. tom gets it. you both do.

finishing your tour in london is convenient because not only will you have tom to comfort you, but you get to stick around for a while. he’s invited you to stay at his place. you can’t wait to meet the other holland’s, his friends, and obviously tessa.

“fuck, i’m gonna cry. i’m already crying,” you announce to the crowd, though they can tell from the tears streaming down your face. more dancers huddle around you and turn your single hug into a group one. you’re laughing and sobbing and holding on tight to everyone. fans bawl their own eyes out, the fact that this is it starting to settle in. the onstage crew even gets choked up, seeing you like this.

tom pouts from where he’s watching. he wishes he could run up there and squeeze you tight, but he’ll have to save that for when you’re done.

“i love you all so much, literally every single one of you in this room,” you tell everyone for the nth time tonight, swiping a perfectly manicured finger under your eyes. “my lighting crew, sound crew, my band, my fearless fucking dancers-“ a hiccup cuts you off. people burst into fits of giggles, which is a much needed tension breaker. you adjust your headset so the mic doesn’t pick up any other bodily noises.

grinning, you rest your arm on a shorter dancer’s shoulder, then go on. “sorry, sorry. i just wanna say, like, three more thank you’s before i get out of here.” there’s a chorus of no’s and encouraging whistles at the mention of you leaving. you blink back more tears to delay the breakdown you’re going to have. “thank you to my friends who always show up for me.”

with a knowing smile, you glance over at tom. “and, thank you to my more than a friend.” he smiles back, both hands held over his heart. harry elbows him in congratulations. more screaming erupts from the crowd as they realize where you’re looking and who you’re looking at. this will be sure to spark some headlines. whatever, you’re used to trending on every possible social media platform by now.

“this is the big one,” you preface, taking in a breath while everyone quiets down again. “thank you to you guys. for trusting me, for caring about what i have to say in any way. i feel your love. i really do, and i hope you feel mine.” your fans yell that they love you back, dancers gently swaying you side to side, emotions on high. there’s one last song, and it’s over.

“this has been the sensation tour, and i’ve been your host. was i good?” you try to lighten the mood, earning a bunch of what sound like positive shrieks. the earpiece you have in makes it hard to tell. “y’all were even better.” exchanging looks with your dancers, you pull out of the hug so you can get to your mark for the finale. they follow your lead. music comes through the speakers.

“i’ll see you again soon, okay? i promise. here’s sensation,” you introduce the song, immediately bursting into more tears. it’s torture to say goodbye. thankfully, you have the most incredible fans on earth, so they sing along with you at the top of their lungs. that includes tom and harry, your ultimate stans.

when the show is over, you run right off stage and over to tom. he’s waiting on the side with actual heart eyes for you. you practically leap into his arms, a hand cradling the back of his head, both his arms draped low and tight around your body.

“you were so amazing up there! absolutely smashed it, darling,” tom breathes out. his face is smushed between your neck and mostly bare chest. “thanks, tom. seriously, thanks for being here tonight and every other.” you smile a tired smile and wind your other arm around his neck. he presses some light you’re welcome kisses to your skin. “mm, thanks for having me. how’s it feel to be done?”

you sigh, fingers running through his curls. “like the biggest relief, and also really sad.” you’re such a mess that you could cry again on the spot. tom senses it and lifts his head up to see if you’re alright. “super depressing,” you surprisingly reiterate without the waterworks. “i know the feeling. you’ll be back soon, though. you said it,” he murmurs, a grin on his lips as they brush against the corner of yours.

you’re about to kiss him properly, then one of your dancers comes up to you. you’d forgotten that there are still stage managers and security everywhere, too. you get completely lost in tom whenever you’re together.

“you killed, babe,” coco greets you, linking your arm in hers. tom takes the hint and lets go of you. he watches on with a smirk. “nah, you murdered,” you send the compliment back and bite your lower lip. “i dunno, i feel like someone murdered me!” there’s coco with her dramatics. she’s genuinely hilarious, your shared sense of humor playing a huge part in your friendship.

she brings your free hand to her heart. you gasp at how fast it’s going. “that shit is really beating, coco. are you, like, okay?” “probably not. it was the freestyle that got me.” coco went a lot harder than usual tonight, since it was her last big dance break for a while. she puffs air from her cheeks and nods to tom. “this your man?”

“yeah, you could say that. i’m tom,” he answers, holding out a hand for her. “coco.” she pulls it like you would in a handshake. you beam at them, one of your best friends and unofficial boyfriend finally meeting. “sounds promising. i approve,” coco mutters to you. bumping your hip into hers playfully, you take one of tom’s hands in both of yours.

“aw, we have your blessing or something? your permission?” you coo and get a push at your shoulder from coco in return. tom chuckles, his thumb running over the back of your hand. “no! i was gonna say you should bring him out back,” coco clarifies, like it was obvious. you’re not sure what she’s on about. “uh, what’s out back?” you question. “an axe?” tom teases.

coco gestures to the nearest exit. “we’re having a little goodbye party in the parking lot. fire pit, snacks. remember?” nope, you’d completely forgotten. the idea first sounded like the perfect way to end your night, so you agreed to go. that was before you were dripping sweat and mentally exhausted. now, all you want to do is unwind with tom and tom only.

the superstar life is one you’re happy to lead, just not at this exact moment.

“i do now.” you muster up your most apologetic smile for coco, tugging on tom’s hand. “i’m sorry, co. i think we’re gonna pass.” her jaw drops. you’re never one to skip these things. “aw, for real? it’s our last night!” tom threads his fingers through yours while you talk. “bro, we’ve been together for almost a whole year,” you laugh out, nuzzling your cheek into tom’s chest. “get sick of me.”

“never,” coco deadpans. she catches you gazing up at tom, relaxing as his arms hug your middle. she’s known you long enough to tell what’s a fling and what’s real love for you. this is something special, and she can’t get in the way of it. she’ll let you navigate this yourself. “ok, just for tonight. you’ll text me?” coco gives you a real smile, raising an eyebrow at tom. he gathers that’s a good thing. he’s in.

“mhm. maybe we can hang out tomorrow,” you agree and let your eyes flutter shut. all that’s keeping you up are tom’s strong arms. “tell everyone i love them.” “i think they know.” coco shakes her head lightheartedly. tom laughs at her. “be good,” she tells him and means it, rubbing your back on her way to the lot. that leaves you and tom alone at last.

custodians are cleaning up the arena, fans are piling out, and you’re clinging to tom while his steady heartbeat grounds you. this is the only after party you need.

“harry’s got the car when you’re ready,” tom mumbles, tucking a piece of damp hair behind your ear. you loop your arms around his torso with a hum. “i was kinda wondering where he went.” “yeah?” he gives you a small smile. “gotta ask what he thought... of the show.” yawns are creeping past your lips, tonight’s events catching up to you.

“i like feedback from the fans, or stans,” you elaborate in your sleepy state. tom uses his fingertips to tap your temple. “what about me? i’m your biggest.” “i’ll, um, follow up with you later.” your words are slurring. “right now, home.” warmth spreads throughout tom’s entire body, his house becoming yours for a bit. “your chariot awaits,” he affirms before helping you to your dressing room.

after collecting your things, you follow tom out to the car. harry is in the driver’s seat, and you two slip into the back. he exchanges a look with his brother through the mirror while you settle on his shoulder. you’re hugging his bicep, his lips pressing to the side of your head.

“thank you for driving,” you speak softly to harry. he starts to pull out of the spot with a nod. “no problem. get to say i was y/n y/l/n’s chauffeur.” tom clicks his tongue even though harry is joking. you snicker at his remark, joking back. “you want the job? better be a five star ride, then.” your banter brings yet another smile to tom’s face. his family is everything to him, so seeing you get along so well means the most.

“right, right. did you have a good time?” harry wonders, twisting to see behind him while he turns around. he also peeks at you snuggled up to tom before facing forward. “great, actually. did you?” you check, the grin clear in your voice. harry goes into full stan mode. “no shit! you were brilliant, y/n. god, every note was just like how you did it the studio.” he’s raving, which is much appreciated by you.

“good answer.” tom shoots his brother a wink. “‘s that what you wanted to hear?” he asks in reference to your conversation earlier. your response is a kiss to his shoulder. “yay. i’m happy you liked it, harry.” he buzzes with excitement, having his favorite artist care what he thinks.

not much is said for the rest of the drive. tom and harry make some hushed conversation about golfing this weekend while you struggle to stay awake. they’re obsessed with that damn sport. it’s honestly nice to see, that tom has something he likes to do when he isn’t shooting hollywood’s biggest movies. your free time will finally give you the chance to discover other hobbies.

you stumble out of the car upon arriving to the boys’ place, a backpack on your shoulders and tom’s hand held tight in yours. you’ve got only a few essentials with you for tonight. the rest is on the tour bus, so you’ll gather it after your hangout with coco. besides, everything you need at the moment is right here.

“home sweet home,” tom announces as harry unlocks the front door. his words bring a tired smile to your face. “finally,” you exhale, keeping your fingers laced with tom’s and following the two of them inside. “i could show you around a bit, give you the grand tour. or-“ tom stops talking, feeling your weight on him. harry huffs at how oblivious his brother is.

“mate, she’s falling over. save it,” he suggests and kicks the door shut lazily. you’re done in. you’ve been having to lean on tom since the show ended. “another time, then,” tom mumbles, securing his arm around your waist. “there is one thing i wanna see.” your voice is low, body curled into tom’s side. he raises an eyebrow. “and that is?” “your room.”

tom takes that in a suggestive way, like he does most things. “we’re getting right to it, are we?” he questions, harry gagging and you nudging his arm with your head. “not like that, dummy. ‘cuz i’m sleepy.” there’s a beat of silence. “ask me again in-“ “wow, look at the time!” harry interrupts so he doesn’t have to hear the details. he’s sure he’ll witness enough after it happens. “off to bed i go! goodnight.”

he rushes to get to his room, yelling out, “great show, y/n!” on the way. “thank you! night!” you call back, tom letting out a sigh. “div of the century,” he says under his breath. “must run in the family,” you playfully retort. that gets you a firm poke at your side. “where’s everyone else?” you glance up at him. there should be two other idiots and a lovely, furry lady running around.

“tuwaine’s gone to the pub, harrison’s filming late, and tess is at mum and dad’s,” tom fills you in, grabbing your arm and draping it around his middle. doing him one better, you hug him with both. you squint in confusion about the last part. “they watch her when i’m out,” tom answers your unspoken question. “ah,” you nod, then deflate ever so slightly. “i wanted to meet her, though. the other boys, too.”

tom smooths the pad of his thumb over your cheek. “you will, darling. it’s only for tonight.” he kisses the same spot reassuringly. “we’ve got loads of time.” “yeah, we do,” you agree, instantly cheering up and letting your head fall onto his chest. “now, where’s your room?” “just upstairs. you need some help getting in?” he’s only playing around, but you accept, tightening your arms around his neck.

“show me the way,” you beam at him. “happy to.” tom wiggles his eyebrows, you jumping up. your legs wrap around his waist, his arms holding you against him. with a satisfied hum, you squish your face into his insanely soft shirt. “what a diva,” tom sarcastically complains while taking you to the staircase. “doesn’t even say please. no manners from this one.”

“you try dancing in six inch heels for two hours,” you shoot back, patting the side of his neck. he moves one hand down to your thigh for a better grip. you’re nearing the top of the stairs. “think i’ll leave that to you,” he decides and squeezes your thigh. “look at me, carrying the whole music industry.” your face easily gets hot and your words turn to murmurs. “shut up. you should listen to other songs.”

you’re on the second floor now, tom going for the first door. he frowns at his rejected compliment. “no, i like yours. they’re my favorite.” “really?” your muffled laugh sounds from his chest. “what was the first thing i ever said to you?” he asks, a toothy grin on him even though you can’t see it. you recall the faithful night he slid into your dms while he carries you into his room.

he’d tripped over his words somehow, the fangirling fool. before that, he tweeted to the whole world that he wanted to see you in concert. it was a huge thing, and people were freaking out about it, even more so when your online interactions became routine. that’s nothing compared to where you are now.

you’re currently living with him and basically dating. possibly, in love. the base of it all really is your music.

“that you love me.” you pause for the ellipses. the corners of your lips turn up. “but, you really meant to say my work.” “both apply.” tom passes that off like it’s a side comment, carefully laying you down on his bed. you look up at him with a curious glint in your eyes. “what does that mean?” his cheeks flush, and he bites back the smile that’s growing. this was supposed to go... differently.

you sit up, breathing out a laugh at tom’s boyish behavior. he’s precious, truly. “you do love me?” those three words will change everything if he says yes. he takes both your hands in his and holds them between you two. you meet his doe eyes. “yeah, y/n/n. i do.” so, you were right. “i love you... and, that wasn’t how i planned on saying it.” signaling for him to elaborate, you tilt your head to the side.

tom sits down next to and faces you before continuing. “it was supposed to be romantic, right?” he rolls his eyes up to the ceiling, annoyed he ruined this. “candlelit dinner, flowers, that sort of thing. seems more fitting for the occasion.” you shift closer to him until your knees are touching. your face is lit up, voice dropped to almost a whisper.

“since when do we do things the way we’re supposed to?” you point out and set your hands on his shoulders. “we’ve gone straight from online dating to me moving in. that’s usually not how it works.” tom chuckles lowly. his own hands find their place on your hips. you’re so good with words. then again, you are a singer. “guess you could say we’re, um, spontaneous,” he agrees, fingers drawing circles on you.

you and tom have explored some of each other’s most intimate places, yet you’ve never shared a moment quite like this. it’s like meeting him for the first time again. he’s too tongue tied to spit out what he wants. you somehow know, anyway. what you cherish most about your relationship is that you two completely and totally understand one another, on every level.

“tom?” you speak quietly, butterflies filling up your body. “hm?” he hums back. this is one of those moments where it all just clicks. “i love you. i really, really love you.” you giggle out of the pure happiness that consumes you, tom joining in your laughter. “i love you, too.” he sounds like he’s said it a million times and he’ll say it a million more. he leans over so his forehead rests on yours. “really, really love you.”

your warm breath hits his face, eyes darting from his own to his lips. “i want you to be more than...” you trail off, unsure of how to phrase it. “more than... more than a friend?” tom pokes fun at what you said during the show. there’s less and less space between you with every second. “you mean, like, a boyfriend?”

“exactly. be my boyfriend,” you all but demand. you’re half asleep and desperate to be able to call him yours already. “bossy, bossy, bossy,” tom chastises, swiping his thumb across your bottom lip. how he goes from being shy and giddy to the cockiest person alive in minutes, you’ll never know. “please?” you throw in to sway him. your hand locks with his, slowly moving it off your face.

you run your tongue over your teeth. “at least kiss me.” “you don’t have to ask,” tom breathes, lips now ghosting over yours. “i was going to.” true to his words, he closes the microscopic gap between you, you pushing forward against him as you kiss back. your first kiss in love. his lips taste like the chapstick he always uses, and he moves them softly.

he places a hand on your knee, you opening your mouth so he can have access to it. instead, a yawn exits. tom pulls back with a breathy laugh. “you must be exhausted, yeah? let’s get you to bed.” he pecks your lips once more. “my girl needs her beauty rest.” that confirms your relationship. you scrunch your nose and grin wide. “and, she’s gonna get some with her boy.”

you’re reminded of how sweaty you are when you catch a whiff. “oof, wait. do you think i can take a shower first?” you grimace, fanning at the air for emphasis. tom uses the tip of his nose to nudge yours. “absolutely. need help in there, too?” he’s not asking in that way, only so nothing happens. the hospital wouldn’t be the most pleasant place to spend your break. plus, he doesn’t want to be without you too long.

“you know what? yeah.”

that’s how you end up intertwined under the hot water, letting it cascade down your back as tom hugs you close to him. you sigh in content and tangle your fingers in his fluffed over curls. you’ve learned that he’s super into having his hair played with. it’s endearing, how he instinctively leans into your touch, eyes closing as you tug on the roots.

he drops his head down to kiss your shoulder, dragging his lips to your collarbone in a way that tickles. they land on one of your breasts next. there isn’t anything sexual about it, only loving. just in case he gets too excited because it’s not uncommon he does, you gently put a finger to his lips. tom takes the hint and lets up. you continue combing through his wet hair while you step out of the water.

“do you ever sing in the shower?” he questions, drawing your naked body in closer to his. “sometimes, yeah. i honestly feel like i sound better there,” you admit and slide your hand down to the nape of his neck. tom’s tongue darts out to lick his lips. “not true. you sound beautiful everywhere, and don’t fight me on this one.” he smirks in satisfaction, you groaning at your loss.

“i really enjoy hearing your voice when it blares through an arena, though,” tom keeps buttering you up. you shake your head and settle both arms around his neck. “man, i just love you so much.” “i love you, sweetheart,” he murmurs back, you switching places so he can give his hair a final rinse. you watch him and his glowing body, admiring the sight.

“what a sensation you are,” you say mostly to yourself, which doesn’t stop him from hearing. “i see what you did there.” he eyes you while you do the same to him. your arms still around his neck pull him back to you. “tommy? do you sing in the shower?” you meant to ask him before, then he started throwing all those compliments at you.

tom scoffs, walking you back so you’re against the wall. “i don’t sing anywhere.” “what?” you gasp and put a hand on his chest. “you’re lying, you have to be. wasn’t billy elliot a musical?” he narrows his eyes at you as he tries to gage where you’re going with this. “that i did a decade ago, and way before puberty. couldn’t sing a word without cracking after that.”

your mouth is left hanging open in shock and disappointment. you bet he has a nice voice, and he’s downplaying it. “y/n,” tom begins, cupping your jaw with his palm. “since we’re living together now, there’s a lot you’re going the learn about me. good things, weird things.” he shrugs casually. “this is one of the weird things.”

“only because you make it weird! come on, let me hear you,” you request and wrap a leg around his waist. you’re giving him a hopeful smile. “god, no. you’ll hate it,” he almost laughs, a hand on your thigh. “i’m literally a singer. how could i hate something i love?” you refute, batting your lashes at him. “especially when someone i love is doing it.” “i love you, too. but, i’m not.” he’s quick to shut you down.

“drop a bar!” you try to coax him, which he already has a comeback for. “you first.” “i can’t. my throat is all scratchy from earlier,” you lie. tom presses his lips into a line, feigning pity. “aw, you know what’ll make you feel better? tea. i’ll go get you some.” he turns to shut the water off, so you grab his shoulders. “no, the steam is working. you can stay.”

“love,” tom addresses you in a warning tone that you can’t take seriously. he can’t either, a giggle escaping him. “my voice is shit. ask anyone, and they’ll tell you.” “i won’t believe them,” you hum, pushing back curls sticking to his forehead. “sounds like you just have stage fright. we can work on that, though.” “how?” he tightens his arm around your middle.

“i’ll bring you on for my next show. we’ll do a little duet.” you’re joking, though that would definitely be interesting to see unfold. “uh, never. what happened to you being tired?” tom cleverly deflects and digs his fingers into your side. you look down in defeat. “i forgot about that.” “yeah, yeah. no, seriously. we should really get to sleep, y/n/n.” he’s back to his sweet, attentive self. “‘s been a long night.”

giving in with a nod, you capture his lips in yet another kiss. tom never gets tired of them, and neither do you. you break it after a few seconds, lips lingering on his as they detach. “carry me?” you ask again, not caring how whiny you sound. tom presses a quick kiss to your forehead. “oh, you’re adorable. of course.”

well, you’ve found something to keep you occupied until the next leg of tour. you’re going to discover the many layers your intriguingly unusual boyfriend has.

[gojology]

— Gojo and Nanami | Their Insecurities

pairing : insecure gojo x gender neutral reader, insecure nanami x gender neutral reader warnings : unedited, probably some misspellings, maybe some cursing, i probably dont make sense at all wordcount : 1703 a/n : this is so bad dear god please forgive me for deeming this as content

GOJO SATORU ‧₊˚✩彡.

☆ Gojo’s insecure about his lack of bodyhair. His lack of facial hair and arm hair worries him. Being babyfaced wasn’t something positive in his eyes- no, he wishes he was physically more masculine.

   Your eyes meet his, the sun rays bathing both of you in an orange filtered light. His mouth is slightly opened, skin flush to the touch. After a night of intimacy, your ready for another round, pushing your palm towards his forehead. “Good morning, Satoru.” you say, voice slightly wavering even in the most private presence, without the formalities and what not, he’s surprisingly normal, and it’s taken you a bit to adjust to that. He’s warm, but it’s the good kind of warm, and it shows on his silly, dopey smile.

    You guess it wasn’t the time for more sex, so you resist your urges, directing the energy to something else.

    Gradually, your palms find themselves on his cheeks, and you pinch them slightly, giving him a look you hope is loving- because you really do mean it. Your rest assured, as the curve to his swollen lips grew even wider. The sounds of bird chirped as your fingers danced across his jawline, finally at your final stop, his chin. 

    You tip his chin up, and sure enough, hickeys are adorning his neck. A feeling of joy and honor fills you for a brief second, you were the one that was allowed to see him vulnerable, given the pass into his locked up heart. He finally breaks the silence between the two of you, pushing away your slack hand delicately. 

    It’s peculiar, there’s a tremble to his lips, like he’s scared, or about to burst into a fit of tears. You think it should be the other way around, but here you were, arms held close to your chest, looking at him with a mixture of curiosity and anticipation, bated breath preventing you from questioning the sudden change in tone. 

    “Hey, um, Y/N, weird ass question, but, am I hairy? Like, wooly mammoth hairy?” 

    You can’t tell if it’s sarcasm or not.

    Trying not to make a face, you shrug your shoulders. “Well, I mean, not really. You’re actually pretty nonhairy, in terms of uh... The average-” you pause, realizing how drastically his face fell. “-But I do like non-hairy guys! Who would wanna date a wooly mammoth anyways? Hey, baby..” you coo, giving him a tiny peck on the cheek, fluttering your eyelashes.     “What’s this about? Hey, you know, you can just be straightforward with me, I don’t mind.” 

    He doesn’t take a moment of hesitation, exasperatedly blurting out, “Does my lack of.. Hair, bother you?” but it seems he regrets it, your cheeks puffing up, stifling a giggle. Yet, he maintains the bone-chilling eye contact, his eyes are as vivid as ever, so blue it looked like the entrance to heaven. Your immediately lulled, whatever he was going to say was definitely urgent.

    “W-What? Are you being serious?” covering your mouth, your voice is muffled, but his face looks absolutely terrified, and you relish in how funny he looked. It wasn’t everyday that he was genuinely frightened, well, maybe he didn’t show it often.    “Of course not! Why would I be even remotely worried about bodyhair when I have something way more eye-catching in front of me?”

    The shock turns into a sheepish smile, returning for a second time, your heart melting instantly. He takes a long, deep breath, exhaling the tension away, tugging at the covers to go over his chest. You hadn’t realized that he had stolen more than half of the blanket for himself, but you don’t make a fuss about it. 

    For all the weight he carried on his sagging shoulders, you’re sure the warmth is appreciated. 

NANAMI KENTO ‧₊˚✩彡.

☆ Nanami thinks he’s a boring person, through and through. Outside of work, he doesn’t see why anyone would want him. Some days, he wonders if he should pick up on Gojo’s personality, telling jokes and being sarcastic and what not.

   The fine, white porcelain Nanami had gifted you was beautiful, to say the least. Nanami frequently shone it until it glimmered in the light, wiping any smudge or speck of dirt that dared to get on his beloved tea set that he gifted to you a few months prior. Gold trim, alongside depictions of birds fluttering about, and your favorite flowers. It’s perfect for you, and that’s why he had gotten it. His eyes had instantly brightened, picturing your beaming face as you served the two of you some tea.

   But he wonders, would you be happier if he perhaps gifted you something more up to date in comparison to the porcelain? He had enough money to buy you the world, bags, jewelry, he’d often used to hear stories of his co-workers giving their wives expensive, well, anything, and they’d be over the moon. A sudden realization grew inside of him at the thought of this:    

   Was he too out-of-date?    

   The thought went rampant in his usually collected mind, twisting and turning at night, only the sound of you, deep in sleep, could calm the troubled man down. As a consequence to his overthinking, he got little to no rest, and if he got little to no rest, his eyebags would turn their ugly, sneering faces in his direction.

     And so, as he’s baking tea cakes to go along with the afternoon tea the two of you would routinely drink, he’s going deep into depth of himself. He’s a good worker, good at...

     What was he good at? Aside from work, he can’t see why he’d be of use. Nanami acknowledges he’s stoic, which may be good in some cases, but often, everyone runs away from him because he appears as scary with those cold, calculating eyes. As opposed to Gojo, everyone enjoyed how lenient of a teacher he was. Well, Nanami isn’t sure on that, maybe aside from Megumi, Nobara, and Yuuji, everyone hated that. Regardless, him and Gojo don’t share something in common.

     Gojo has humor, and he doesn’t. 

     So why did you like him? 

     Nanami’s subconsciously drumming his long, bony fingers against the counter, eyes studying the ceiling like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do. Steadily, an acrid smell completely overwhelmed your senses- now, you’re hacking into your arm, and finally, Nanami comes back to Earth. 

     He blinks a few times, like he’s drinking in his surroundings, before he realizes the tea cakes are completely burning into a crisp.

Now, he’s on heightened alert, yanking open the handle to the oven and fanning out the flames with a random oven mitt he had hastily grabbed for. Beads of sweat are developing on his skin, before finally, you rush in, still hacking up a storm with a large pot of freezing water in your shaking hands.

     Nanami curses himself for ever appearing as informal, but then he remembers he’s infront of his significant other, he didn’t have to put on an act. His face relaxes, and he opens his mouth to speak, to apologize, but he’s paused- by you. You raise your palm up at him, the other hand opening up a window looking over the garden.

      “Nana.” he freezes completely, the affectionate nickname was specially reserved for confrontations like this. You spoke softly, which, for some reason, was significantly worse than you screaming into his ear. Your eyes follow suit, staring at his collar, loosening his tie. He winces, but Nanami’s not sure why he does. You had touched him millions of times, so why was it now that he didn’t accept it?

     “Yes, my love?” he finally breathes out, wrapping a strong, gentle arm around your waist just loosely. You place your thumb just below his lower lip, your index finger rubbing his plush lips all at the same time. The exchange is purely affectionate, yet, he’s still tense. 

    “What has gotten into you?” you murmur. 

    “I- Nothing, darling, I’ll bake another-” 

    “No.” is all you say before you grab him by the chin, unwavering. Usually, those piercing eyes of his are emotionless, something shocking. The eyes are the gateway to the soul, so why is it that it’s blocked off? But you guess it wasn’t the case here, he stared back with the same level of intensity, fear and peculiarity. You stay in that position for a little, savoring just how much you must mean to him, it wasn’t everyday he was vulnerable and let you inside.      Your breathing is heavy, eyelids heavy as well due to his routinely ruckus every night, but you’re determined to erase any trace there was left of that.       You kiss him. It’s sloppy, yet chaste. A fight for dominance usually occurs between the two of you, and almost routinely, Nanami wins, but this time, he lets you do the work. 

   Your lips never once trail away from his own. Heavy breathing through nostrils, hands roaming where it shouldn’t at such an early time, but who gave a fuck about the rules? It wasn’t a workplace, and you’d never let it be one. He clings onto your figure, you savor his muscular physique. Not once do his hands not roam, your flesh was his, and his was yours. 

    Finally, you pull away, heat rising to your cheeks, tears are beginning to dawn on your glassy eyes. “I’ve listened to you roll around in bed every night, mumbling shit about how you don’t see why I’d want you. You better donate your eyes and brain to charity right now.” 

   This wasn’t the reaction, or beatdown he was expecting. He flinches at the vivid image he got of you gouging out his eyeballs. “...Why must I do that? 

   “Because, you don’t use them, obviously. If you took a fucking second of your life to look deeper into your personality below the surface level, you’d see how fucking amazing you are and I love you for that.” 

   Shaking your head furiously, you shush him up yet again when he finally decides to speak up, tears are beginning to spill down your cheeks. “Shut up, Nana. Shut. Up.” pulling him in for another kiss, your hands grabbing at his shoulder like he was going to let go. 

   But he never did. 

[arvinsescape]

Fight the good fight

Summary: You’re doing an interview for an upcoming movie and get treated with less respect than your male co-stars and they aren’t having it.

W/C: 1.9K

Warnings: Mentions of stress eating and struggles with food.

A/N: Please note that i have in no way intended for this to come across in a negative way in terms of weight. I have struggled personally with stress eating and i understand the unhealthy relationship that you have with food in the end and that is what i am talking about. I think everyone is beautiful, no matter what size or shape you may be, it’s what’s on the inside that counts!

You’d been in the spotlight for a long time. You’d started your acting career at the age of seven and had a really successful career. You were 23 now and had naturally moved into more adult themed films. You’d been really lucky to be cast alongside Tom Holland and Timothée Chalamet in an upcoming thriller. You were playing Holland’s love interest who ends up getting stalked by Chalamet’s character. You were really lucky that you got on so well with the two, the theme of the film could be quite difficult, and it was good to be able to have a laugh with your co-stars afterwards. During filming you’d developed a special relationship with Tom, you’d had to do a lot of scenes together that required the two of you to spend a lot of time with each other and getting to know each other inside and out. You’d gotten closer and naturally a real-life love relationship happened.

You were doing press with your co-stars and you’d been in interviews all day. To say you were tired would be putting it lightly. The day hadn’t gone so bad, some interviews better than others. You’d gathered this as soon as you turned 18, the questions shifted from being about the film to being about you and tended to be quite sexist in nature. You’d learned to deal with it over the years and some interviewers weren’t so bad, you’d not put up with it too much today. You were hoping that this final interview would run smoothly, and you could get into bed, cuddle up with Tom and sleep the night away.

“I can’t wait for this last interview; I love my job, but press can be so tiring!” Timothée said as he stretched his arms over his head and yawned. You were all sat in position, waiting for the interview to start, you were situated in the middle of them.

“Yeah, I can’t wait to get back to my hotel room.” You agreed.

“Do you guys wanna borrow some of my energy, I have loads spare.” Tom laughed; he was always the more energised of the three of you. This pulled a laugh from both of you as the interviewer started. He seemed nice enough, but you’d been sat there almost five minutes before he actually addressed you.

“So Y/N? How did you find getting to play alongside Tom Holland and Timothée Chalamet?” Here we go. Although you didn’t mind answering questions like this and they were quite tame in comparison to some questions, it was more the fact that at this point both Tom and Timothée had been asked more direct questions about their parts in the film and you hadn’t. You hoped this wasn’t going to go in the direction you thought it was.

“Yeah, it was amazing! They are both lovely guys, it was an honour.” You answered in a polite manner. Maybe you were tired and read too much into the question.

“So did you diet for the film Y/N?”

“Not really.” You laughed, not entirely sure were this was going.

“Did you work out at all?” Again, where was this going?

“Not really. Not more than I usually do.”

“Well I just thought maybe you had been doing. Your legs looked great!” Here we go. You cleared your throat before you answered.

“Is that what you took away from watching it?” You teased, trying to keep the interview light-hearted.

“Well no. But it certainly was a standout feature of yours.” The interviewer laughed. Tom and Timothée didn’t, they knew how much questions like this annoyed you and it made them feel uncomfortable. You were here to promote a movie.

“I’ll remember that for my next film. When the director says he’ll pay a load of money for a dialect coach, I’ll just tell them not to bother. People will be more interested in my legs than my acting!” You answered in a jokey manner, this pulled a laugh from your two male co-stars.

“No no! I mean your acting was amazing Y/N, don’t get me wrong! But I feel like a good body deserves a compliment, that’s all!” The interviewer tried to joke, this made you uncomfortable.

“Timothée your acting was amazing but maybe you should have worked out more with me, your arms looked smaller than mine.” Tom joked as he too tried to shift the attention away from talks of your body. Timothée quickly catching on as he feigned upset before laughing and flexing his arm.

“You wish Tom, you wish.”

The interview continued on and whilst you got no direct questions about your acting or your role the attention wasn’t on you or your body. Until it was.

“So Y/N? You’re 23 now, right? Have you thought about having a family?” You groaned at the question.

“Yeah, I want a family but when the time feels right.”

“Of course! You wouldn’t want to prematurely end your career I suppose?”

“Why would that end my career. Loads of actors have children and carry on acting.” You fired back. You really hated this question because you could guarantee that if either of the boys were asked this question, it would not be followed up with insinuations that it would be career ending.

“Well not many women.”

“If you believe that, I’ll assume you’ve not done much research.” You shot back. You were visibly annoyed now, which didn’t go unnoticed by the males either side of you.

“I don’t think Y/N has to answer that! She answered your question about a family so maybe we should leave it at that, yeah? It’s Y/N’s life and I think she should be left to live it as she wants.” Timothée defended you. The interviewer shrugged but left it at that. Tom had tensed slightly at the exchange but ultimately kept quiet. That wouldn’t last long as the interviewer brought up his next question.

“Y/N? You have had a struggle with food I’ve read?” The question threw you off guard, yes, you’d recently been open about your battle with stress eating and your unhealthy relationship with food, but you weren’t prepared for the question. Usually you were prepared beforehand, and the interviewer would tell you if they were bringing it up, it was sort of a requirement of yours. You glanced at your manager off screen who looked as shocked as you felt.

“I’m sorry I don’t understand the question. It’s not relevant to the film that I’m here promoting.” You answered carefully.

“No, no of course but you seem to be doing better now than you were a few years ago.” He pushed. Tom tensed further, he knew about your past struggles, and how much talking about it unprepared upset you. “There was a period of time where you were quite big.”

“Erm. I’m really sorry but do you have any questions about the film? I’m not comfortable talking about this.” You shuffled uncomfortably in your seat, Tom’s hand shot out to your thigh in comfort, he knew you were getting anxious.

“I was just wondering if you had a problem with that part of your life. You know being bigger?”

“Listen. It’s not that at all. I have no issue with people’s weight, if that’s where you’re trying to go. I’ve talked about this and I absolutely believe that people should be whatever size makes them happy, we are all beautiful just as we are, and I genuinely believe that. What I talked about is the dangers and struggles I had with food. Yes, I was bigger, but my issue was not with my weight, it was with my unhealthy relationship with food and what I was doing to myself through that.” You answered, you felt frustrated, uncomfortable and you were beyond tired now, just wanting to get out of the interview. You took a deep breath before you spoke. “Look, can we just move away from this?” You pleaded.

The interviewer threw his hands up in defence. “Alright, alright. I was just asking.”

“You weren’t, though were you?” Tom’s voice startled all of you. “You were trying to make it sound like she has an issue with bigger people, which as she has spoken about extensively, she doesn’t. You were pushing her into answering a question she didn’t want to answer. You brought her weight up for no plausible reason, I think it’s you who has the problem with bigger people, if I’m being honest. So what she was bigger? She looked as beautiful then as she does now, as all women do. It’s because of people like you that women struggle with body image and it’s not fair, it has to stop.” Tom ranted as his face went red, he was annoyed you could tell that much. Your heart soared that he was defending not just you, but all women.

“You have been consistently rude to her. I don’t think I’ve heard a single question directed at her that was to do with the film. I hate that men like you think it’s okay to ask women these sorts of questions. You commented on her diet and working out as well as her intentions for a family and if it would harm her career. Why? I’ll tell you why. It’s because she’s a woman and you think it’s okay, you seem to think that she doesn’t deserve the respect of being asked the same questions that men do. It’s not right and it needs to stop, she has worked just as hard as us to make sure this film is as good as it can be and she deserves the respect, as all women do.” He finished as he grabbed your hand, stood up and left the interview. You in tow, completely in awe of him.

“Yeah man. Do better.” Timothée said as he followed, leaving the interviewer shocked and humiliated.

Tom took you backstage. He dropped your hand and took a deep breath before turning around to face you.

“I’m sorry I jumped in like that. It’s not that I don’t think you can handle it, I’m just so sick of men like him. I know that you can handle people like that, but you shouldn’t have to and that was the point I was trying to make I guess.” He sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“It’s alright. I’m happy you did. Thank you. it’s nice to know that women don’t have to fight this fight alone and yes, I could’ve handled it but in a way I’m glad it annoys you as much as it does me. I think it will be important for the younger women in your fan base to know that you stick up for women and hold them equal to men. It’s an important message.” You said as you hugged him and kissed his chest. “Thank you, I appreciate it.”

“It just makes me sad that you have to put up with this kind of thing.”

“I know. But hopefully we can make a change. We need to keep fighting the good fight.”

You stayed like that for a while before pulling apart and making your way back to your hotel room. It’d been a long day, but you were glad you had your co-stars there to defend you. Glad to finally be snuggled up in bed with Tom.

[izukult]

haiykuu boys react to a long distance partner surprising them

characters: hinata, kageyama, oikawa, sugawara, nishinoya, tsukishima

established relationship | warnings: swearing, my fan behavior, why are my head canons so long in this gd it’s like a tiny story without structure

hinata shōyō

-SUNSHINE BOY (i went crazy for this one i’m so sorry)

-you were sugawara’s old middle school penpal which turned online friend

-so obviously you’d heard about his volleyball team and the new first year star players

-and one thing led to another where he introduced you to hinata

-actually you were facetiming suga and you saw hinata and told your old friend you thought the tangerine boy was cute and then koushi “accidentally” put you in a gc together

-you and hinata have been dating for about four months

-you’ve heard everything to a t, including small little remarks from tsukishima to every toss, kill, and miss your boyfriend and kageyama managed

-side note but it’s so cute this boy is so whipped for you if you don’t respond for a certain amount of time he’ll find some dumb excuse to talk to suga just so he can shift the convo to making sure you’re safe

-anyway

-so you’re going to meet suga finally

-like FINALLY you’re so excited

-but you’re also boutta see your boyfriend!!!!!!

-buuuuuuuuuut your boyfriend didn’t know

-so it’s safe to say you were a little nervous about it

-you made suga swear up and down that he wouldn’t tell any of his teammates that you specifically were coming, but he did ask to make sure it was okay to have a semi open practice

-so you’re standing outside the volleyball gym with sugawara, backpack with hinatas favorite snacks over your shoulder. practice had already started so suga was late, but he still stood outside with you and let you prepare yourself

-you felt like you were about to throw up even though that’s shoyo’s thing

-suga walks in before you and you follow shortly after, holding in a sharp breath.

-there he was. standing on the other side of the gym, talking to who you knew as kageyama

-he hadn’t seen you yet, but other member of karasuno had

-”yoo who’s this hottie” bald, flirtatious, you had to assume its tanaka

-hinata was in the middle of jumping for a spike when he saw you, and he froze and fell to the ground, stumbling to keep his balance

-the gym got quiet at the tangerines reaction, but he was just staring at you.

-and then he was doing that “woosh” run he always told you about and before you knew it his arms were around your waist and his head was buried in your shoulder.

-everyone (literally EVERYONE) was looking at you two but you just laughed and placed a hand in his hair (which, holy fuck, is soft)

-you mouthed an apology to suga and he shrugged you off, and focused your attention back on the boy in front of you

he pulled back just enough to look at you, leaving his hands to rest on your back. his eyes were filled with tears (cute) and he offered you a smile.

“you’re here” his voice was quiet, for once, but it didn’t have any lag this time. and it was so fucking beautiful.

“i’m here.” you nodded, eyes scanning the features of his face. he chuckled lightly, a tear falling to his cheek as he shook his head.

“you’re so pretty.” his voice was watery and he moved his head back in your shoulder before you could utter a compliment back.

-he stayed attached to you for like minutes okay and this man completely ignored the teasing of his classmates.

-eventually you tried to pull him off you so he could get on with practice (and so you could watch him practice) but he refused to get off

-”bubs. babe. honey. you gotta get up”

-”hey hey hey, what about showing me a cool spike?”

-”i am literally asking you to do your favorite thing in the world sho,”

-”new favorite thing is holding you.”

-YOUR HEART

-eventually you did get him off of you and he practiced the HARDEST he had

-after practice he introduced you to everyone as his girlfriend even though you’d literally been introduced to them like an hour before

-his eyes stay on you and he constantly tells you how pretty you are face to face and how you smell good and how soft your hands are

-it would sound stalkerish if you werent whipped

-its ok hes whipped too

kageyama tobio

-no idea how youd meet this mf online

-maybe some volleyball forum or like arguing over which setter was betting in youtube comments

-or if you know nothing about volleyball,,,,

-i have no fucking clue BUT

-he doesnt mind long distance honestly

-he doesnt have to get worried about completely embarrassing himself and he never has to make like physical moves

-but he does wish he could hold your hand sometimes.

-but he ignores it🙄

-so you are like obsessed w this bitch u r in love w him🤢🤢

-and ur a good 90% sure he luv u too

-so you plan a trip to him

-you do it all out. you talk to his mom, you find the cheapest hotel that’s perfect distance between his house and his school bc ur just that cool

-and you even make up an excuse to kageyama for why you won’t be on your phone during the flight

-you know he’s gonna be at practice bc you know his schedule cos gf things

-you stocked up on banana milk (aka you brought like four)

-you hit him up yknow yknow

- “hey bubs i’m back<3 how’s practice going?” you’re literally standing outside the gym but you want to make sure you’re not coming in at a bad time

-after like three minutes he texted u “good:). just got done with a practice set.”

-so now you’re going and you’re excited and you’re Nervous

-you open the door and you’re met with a rly tall guy with a headband on

-“hi, can i help you?”

-“uh, is kageyama here?” and he turns his head, and you follow his eyes, and there he is

-and he’s already staring at you

-a ball is lightly held in his hands

-if anyone who didn’t know him saw him they would genuinely think he’s angry

-but it was kinda the same look he’d give you when you talked about things you cared about on facetime

-so maybe that’s love? 😳😳😳

you give him a little wave

-“sup kags”

-he’s just staring

-blankly staring

-which you should’ve expected

-“sorry, are you mad? i should’ve told you i was coming, that’s my bad i just thought i could surprise you and it would be really nice and then you wouldn’t be stressed out sorry-“

-literally why are you saying all this all of his teammates just like “wtf”

-he shook his head quickly and opened his mouth to say no but just continued to stare

-“i- uh- you want to watch me set?”

-you LAUGH. and i mean LAUGH girly and he just turns all kinds of red and you know his team is gonna be on him for that

-“yea! if that’s like, allowed?” daichi doesn’t care so you are literally balling

-you watch him play and like at first he’s REALLY awful like rly bad but then he kind of tunes everything out (i.e. you) and gets back in his groove

-afterwards he comes over to you and asks you what you think and he’s looking at you like this is normal but you can tell he’s shaking and he kisses your forehead REALLY REALLY FAST and mumbles a quiet “i’m glad you’re here”

-he opens up w affection more along the trip

-he appreciates the banana milk. sm.

-from then on out he constantly brags ab having a gf to the team

oikawa tooru

-he suspects smth is up to be honest

-he’s like “ohhh shawty gon do sum😫”

-(he doesn’t fucking call you shawty)

-but to be fair he figured more like you were gonna send him smth rather than send yourself

-surprise again he’s AT PRACTICE who would’ve guessed

-but this time you come at the end of practice because seijoh has like set schedules and oikawa tells you everything so

-you’re just standing by the door waiting for him to come out, ignoring the literal group of girls forming at the end of the hall knowing dAmn well they are your bf’s fangirls

-oh well

-you hear his voice before you actually see him

-he’s giving someone tips on their serves and you hear someone make a snide remark at him and you only assume its iwa

-he’s in the middle of a sentence and he just stops.

-there’s a good couple of seconds where he completely loses composure

-which is not tooru like

-you took a step closer and smiled

-”is this the oikawa tooru fanclub?”

-”nah it’s actually the oilykawa hate club” it’s the same voice from earlier and it’s definitely iwa

-you laugh a little and keep looking at your boyfriend

-”that’s even better”

-he just walks up to you and gives you a real, genuine smile

-pushes a piece of hair behind your ear

-and KISSES u

-EPIC MOMENT GAMERS

-”what are you doing here, pretty? come to see me play? if so, i hate to break it to you, but you’re late”

-you just roll your eyes and kiss him again

-once you two are alone he literally cries

-LMAO

sugawara koushi

-literally the only one who can keep his cool out of all these mfs (aside from tsukishima)

-however, when you show up to his practice wearing the hoodie he sent you like two months earlier, he lost his shit

-you set it up with daichi and everything beforehand.

-(and daichi literally made sure suga would look like a setting genius the day you showed up)

-he had just made a really good set when you walked in and you clapped

-”nice one, koushi”

-he looks at you like 😦 & is just like “you- what- you’re- how- why?”

-lol and then he goes on “not why like i’m not happy you’re here just how”

-and all the third years think it’s so funny to be honest, because typically suga can keep his cool

-he eventually gains his cool and shines you one his signature amazing smiles (which, is somehow better face to face)

-omg he goes over to you and once he gets there he turns to his teammates and like

-”this is my s/o!!!”

-mf is BEAMING

-he’s so happy

-you find out right after he gives literally the best hugs ever i live by that and i will die by that

-he doesn’t kiss you til you two are alone

-and its so fucking sweet and personal he puts his forehead on yours and tells you you’re the most beautiful person hes ever seen

-he is literally so in love w you

-ew

-i love him.

nishinoya yü

-ok he’s so loud

-literally the second he gets a gf everyone knows

-he shows the team pictures of you literally anytime one of them will look

-he luvs u

-he is your BIGGEST fan no doubt

-you make a nice meal? he wants to post about it

-you have a nice outfit? he will put it on his story

-you breathe? expect an “omg baby im so proud of u”

-so when you show up, he reacts the way you expect him to

-so like obviously this man isnt checking his phone during practice

-but he puts his phone on dnd and has you as his only favorite contact

-so you can text him if its an emergency during practice

-you know that, he knows it, the team knows it

-he gets the little ping!

-and he’s out the game

-no one is recovering the ball #peaceout

-he jogs over to check because you never text his number during practice bc you respect his passion for volleyball

-the text just says “come outside:))”

-he’s like wtf?? but bitch gonna do what u say😐

-he sees you and he just yells “holy shit” so loud dude

-daichi goes to call him on his language but steps outside and sees the short libero hugging the person they’d all seen in the photos, he just goes quiet

-nishinoya will not shut up as he hugs you

-he’s literally just hyping you up and asking you literally every single detail about how you’re there, where you’re staying, when you’re leaving, how your flight was, everything

-you just kiss his forehead :)

-literally only good vibes

-you guys have such a good trip bruh

-after you leave he literally just cries while looking at pics of you two together

-^ he took so many pics and vids of you pls

tsukishima kei

-unlike the others, you wouldn’t meet him at practice

-you don’t really know his team, nor does he tell you about them outside of mostly complaining

-you do know tadashi, but like you’ve only talked to him in a gc all three of you are in and never like alone

-you did not tell him you were coming because you’re 100% convinced he would’ve accidentally told tsuki even though he can keep his own shit secret lol

-you just show up at his door when you know he’s home

-and he’s texting you as you’re there and he had actually had a moderately rough day so you told him you were gonna order him food from his favorite restaurant

-which, technically wasn’t a lie you just had to make an extra stop

-you knock on his door (once you’ve prepared yourself because you honestly have no idea how he’s going to react)

-and he opens it ready to give a half hearted thank you to some delivery guy

-but instead his s/o

-he just stares at you

-he looks like a fish

-after like fifteen seconds you decide to try to break the ice bc you are nervous

-”delivery here for uh one…” you pretend to look at the paper, you’re doin a whole skit here “one dumb bitch. are you dumb bitch?”

-he just rolls his eyes and shoves your head

-he walks back but he leaves the door open

-”take your shoes off”

-he’s not even looking at you smh but you smile so fucking wide bc that’s the kind of reaction you were honestly hoping for

-(what you don’t know is he will literally break his whole hard exterior act if he looks at you right now and he is not ready for that)

-you put the food on the table and move to stand next to him

-and after a bit he finally looks at you

-and you look at him

-and you smile

-and he does too,, kind of

-(which is so fucking cute,)

-and you just keep starin at him and bite your lip to keep from grinning

-and after a couple minutes you clear your throat

-”can i hug you?”

-bro he’s so fucking whipped he doesnt even answer he just wraps his arms around you and puts his head on top of yours

-and he mumbles a thank you and its so fucking SWEET

-he does open up more the longer you’re there and u have a very good trip mwah in luv

[hopelesshawks]

Hey hey pspspsps if ur down to write some genshin headcanons👀👀 I’d loveee to see some modern au Tohma, Xiao, Kaeya, Childe, Zhongli and Diluc headcanons 👀👀 like college age mayhaps 👀👀

Ohhh ok BUCKLE UP KIDS it’s Genshin modern college au headcanons here we go!

Warnings for alcohol mention and very brief mention of recreational drug use

I feel like I should disclaimer that I’m in a coed frat and went to a small to mid size technical school that’s pretty nerdy so my experience with frats is probably very different and not nearly as gross as the like general US State School experience can be

Tohma

Smooth talker, big man on campus 100%

Probably joined a frat literally the minute he could for the connections and so he could meet even more people

Dude has been throwing ragers since like the first month of his freshman year, you don’t know how he knows so many goddamn people on campus he just does

Seems like a player and hopeless flirt but is actually such a dorky little himbo when you get to know him

If you need any kind of recommendation on anything he’s your guy. From the best spots to nap on campus to the best restaurants within walking distance.

In a relationship he’s super open about his affection and probably is into PDA. It’s not a possessive thing, he’s just so in awe he gets to have you that he wants to enjoy every second of it so why miss out on a hug or kiss from you just because there’s a few people around

Xiao

The first several times you interacted you were probably forced too. Like you were partners on a group assignment so he had to deal with you for a little bit and eventually warmed up

Has a reputation among the rest of your class for how standoffish he is so when he started hanging out with you a few of the other people from your year legit were just like “h o w” and you can’t even give them a proper answer tbh because even you don’t know

Is probably some kind of writing/English/history major

Not only is willing to fight anyone who tries to imply his degree isn’t as useful as a STEM one, but actually has gotten in multiple, some of which almost came down to an actual physical fight before you dragged him away

Definitely pouted about you pulling him away but will yell at you if you call it pouting

In a relationship there is almost no PDA. He might hold your hand and if someone makes him jealous enough he may pull you a little closer and/or put himself between the two of you but for the most part he feels like his relationship is no one else’s goddamn business and he has no interest in giving people a show

Kaeya

The biggest little shit as always

Also joined a frat but is mostly in it for the free booze and he says the brotherhood but you’re pretty sure he just likes the way the other members hang on his every word when he speaks

Doesn’t believe in the cult-like level of loyalty some frats expect and so will 1000% report any of his fellow brothers who try to be shady/scummy/gross. No one would dare get mad at him for it so it’s actually helped the frat stay a healthy environment, 10/10 could trust the guys there with your drinks

Honestly at this point the frat is pretty much just Kaeya’s Followers(tm) and by his senior year the juniors get worried about it because “uhhh who becomes Kaeya when Kaeya graduates” and when they try to ask Kaeya this question he just winks and gives an answer that is entirely unhelpful and sounds like it’s at least 80% bullshit

Never seems to go to class and yet somehow always has amazing grades

In a relationship acts very flirty and is constantly teasing you in public, but stops short of anything above mild pda and in private gets really soft and sweet he’ll deny it if you try to point this out in front of others though

Childe

Is in the literal douchiest frat on campus fuck the Fatui like you’re constantly trying to get him to de-brother but he’s got a misplaced loyalty to them that keeps him in the organization

First time you met him you wanted to punch him in the face but he also quickly becomes the only thing stopping you from failing out of a class the two of you share and over the course of that time he manages to win you over at least a little bit

It’s all fun and games until someone pisses him off. He’s another one that you have to try and drag away from physical altercations on a semi-regular basis

Once he notices that you care enough to try and drag him away or worry about him if he’s injured in a fight, he starts picking more of them just to see your reaction

Even if y’all’s relationship is entirely platonic he flirts with you. He thinks it’s funny when he can manage to fluster you so he tries to make a game out of it even if he doesn’t actually mean any of the things he’s saying

If you guys are in a relationship he definitely packs on the PDA, partially to fluster you, partially because he’s possessive and he doesn’t like the way some of his frat brothers look at you sometimes so he wants everyone to be totally clear on who exactly you belong to

Zhongli

Still rich, still never has any fucking money on him. The number of times you’ve had to cover for this man because he’s forgotten his wallet in his dorm or straight up lost it is honestly ridiculous at this point but you can’t even be mad at it because he invites you to his family’s beach house and shit to compensate

He’s the kind of rich where his family has had money forever so he genuinely doesn’t even realize that some things aren’t normal experiences like not everyone grew up with a butler and all designer clothes, etc.

Definitely an Econ major because his parents want him to take over the family corporation but on the low has 0 intentions of doing so and actually intends to create his own start up after graduation and do something he wants to do without having to answer to anyone

He’s so pretty and for what? Mans is oblivious as fuck. Literally half the people on campus that are into dudes have a crush on him but he has no idea and if you try to point it out to him he’ll wave you off

In a relationship he’s either taking you to the shitty Mexican restaurant on campus that’s open until like 3am on weekends or five star restaurants, no in between. You’re either eating like royalty because he knows you deserve it, or eating like broke college kids because he wants the ✨experience✨

He gives me gentlemanly PDA vibes, like he’s not gonna makeout with you in the quad but he’ll kiss your hand or your cheek, hold you close to him, and otherwise make it clear that he’s very much happily in love with you

Diluc

Not only is this man not in a frat, he probably actively campaigns against their existence and isn’t quiet about hating them

Always goes to class and thus always has amazing grades

Won’t get into physical fights the way Childe and Xiao do even though he could hold his own in one if he wanted to, but regularly gets into debates with people and is not afraid to drag you into the middle of it even if it has nothing to do with you

Doesn’t drink which frequently means him playing caretaker/mom friend when y’all go to parties together and while he might complain about it he secretly loves that you trust him to take care of you if you get sloppy drunk/high/crossed

Flusters easily but good at hiding it. If you flirt with this man in public his expression won’t change while he’s telling you to stop fucking around but his face will be going as red as his hair

In a relationship he’s not a fan of PDA but is a fan of you, so while he probably keeps the affection to a minimum while you’re out and about he still is maintaining some sort of physical contact with you most of the time or at the very least is keeping you close

[akatsuki-ryuu]

Soowon, this idiot

I’ve seen a lot of discourse over this guy in the fandom (some think he’s entirely justified and deserves all the love, some can’t quite forgive him, some have mixed opinions), so I wanted to pitch in with my thoughts on him.

Brownie Points:

Seeing his treatment of Yona right after her mother died makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. Even when he was so young, he had been so kind, and I can’t forget that (I reckon Yona can’t, either)

He’s unbelievably charming? That disarming disposition of his also makes him a dangerous adversary, as we’ve seen in how he deals with high-ranking people, both from Kouka - Guen-Tae! - and other countries

This guy was born for the role of someone in a position of authority. He’s amazingly good at dealing with people and settling matters. He was able to suppress the countries around Kouka with minimal bloodshed (except for Xing, that credit goes to Yona & co. He wasn’t able to see how Yu-Hon’s actions were abominable)

He’s good at the politics game (again, goes back to his attitude and skill in handling people and winning them over)

He’s selfless to a fault. This is exceptionally good for his country, as its strength and safety is his greatest priority. Also good for his people, as he actually seems to care about the inner workings too (like when he went to the Chi’Shin to fix the economy, Awa to check on trafficking, and Suika for the Nadai). This isn’t so good for anyone who personally values him, because they can never be his priority. You can’t count on him to be by your side. Also, it’s terrifying how manipulative and scheming he can be. (By manipulative I mean he can bend the situation so that it fits his desired outcome)

The way he cared for his mother right after supporting Yona. It breaks my heart to see what he had to deal with at such a young age.

He’s humble. That’s been made clear on multiple occasions, both when he was younger and now that he’s king.

His genius. Now, I’m no expert on battle strategies and tactics, but this guy is taking win after win.

He’s generally a good king. It must be said. There are a few things I don’t agree with him on, like the Xing matter, how he’s dealing w Yona, her dragons, and Hak right now in the castle, and how he became king in the first place. Otherwise, for Kouka, he is a great king. If not for Hak (and the entire plot), I would’ve liked to see him as King to Yona’s Queen.

Things I can’t forgive him for:

Along with Il, he failed Yona. With the prowess of someone who dedicated a whole decade to scheming for a coup, he couldn’t find a subtle way to train her and make her a better princess. (we see her now and know for a fact that she’s capable, but her father failed in terms of raising her to be a princess and Soowon, who has his eyes on royal affairs, hadn’t tried to see if having Yona rightfully on the throne is a viable option)

He didn’t try to subtly get Yona & Hak on  his side. Of course, Il had his eyes on Soowon, so he can’t just as well directly tell them about his plans, but we see Yona now, and unlike Soowon, she is clearly able to realize her father’s wrongdoings, and she desperately tries to fix them. Who’s to say that if Soowon (indirectly) tried to open her eyes to the world she wouldn’t have tried something with her father? Her father believed she was the rightful ruler; if Soowon asked him to step down, he wouldn’t, but if the rightful sovereign (Yona) asked him to step down so she could assume her throne, wasn’t that what he wanted to happen eventually anyway? He was just a placeholder till Hiryuu reclaims his throne. Goes back to point 1 of failing her. She’s capable both in morals (she genuinely, desperately wants justice, righteousness, and the good of the people) and skills (does this need any explanation? Look at what she’s done with the help of her dragons and Yoon and Hak: getting Shin-Ah out of the mountains, Awa with Kumji, helping the fire tribe villages regain life, getting rid of the Nadai in the water tribe, helping Yoon with his Iza seeds for the fire tribe, protecting Lily in Sei, winning over the princesses of Xing and preventing a war, and much more that I can’t remember off the top of my head) All she needed was the actual training necessary to gain the skills required of a ruler (and for someone to remove her blindfold, of course, and that could’ve been Soowon, in a way other than he did)

We know that he chose the time to kill Il bc he had been told that Yona doesn’t make a habit of visiting her father at night, which means that Soowon initially intended to appear innocent in Yona’s eyes and she shouldn’t have been a witness. Therefore, she would’ve remained a princess. Did he plan on having her quietly twirling her hair, thinking of nothing but beautiful kimonos, and longing to see him as she did when she was a princess? Was she not counted in his plans at all? Did he not actually want her to be a princess in action as well as name? How was that to happen if he didn’t train her, since he had a whole coup squad with him that he was willing to work with? It amazes me that he has such connections and didn’t consider making Yona (and Hak!) one of them. As Min-Soo said, her power in gaining the favor of the tribes’ people is truly formidable.

When she witnessed the murder, he was the one to raise his sword against her. I wished he would have just demanded her death as necessary by a guard or something, but it struck deep that he himself held the sword at first. (Not that I liked that he tried to murder her in the first place)

Soowon is blind to his father’s flaws. In fact, he looks up to him in both right and wrong, to the point where he can’t admit that what Yu-Hon did to those Xing captives was truly detestable and dishonorable.

He was plotting for a decade, and he knew for a fact that he was going to betray his friends and trample over their entire world - still, he made no effort to break away from them; he remained close, so he betrayed them as a dear, precious friend rather than a distant childhood memory, and therefore his betrayal hurts much more. This is my biggest problem with him, tbf. As soon as he knew that there’s a great chance he’s gonna betray them like that, he lost his right to their friendship, warmth, trust, care, and affection - as great a king as he is, he is a terrible friend.

What Hak thought in a chapter of the Xing arc: how Soowon was able to stomach making Yona’s day and then destroying her entire world that same night. Now, I believe both Il and Yu-Hon deserved to die, but Yona (and likewise, Soowon) didn’t deserve the tragedies that befell them (sins of the father, anyone?)

He’s a good king for Kouka, but he’s willing to subjugate other countries (unfavorable terms in the treaty with Xing) in order to strengthen his own. Any one who has lived in a country that has been oppressed/colonized by another can see what’s wrong with this.

In conclusion,

The og trio’s relationship will likely never go back to how it was, and though the thought is heartbreaking, I actually don’t want it to. I love Yona, and I always got the feeling that she cared far too much for Soowon while he didn’t hold her in high regard, and I don’t like that. It may just be his selflessness in how he prioritizes his country, but I wish he’d value Yona and Hak more. I’d like to see a heartfelt moment between the three sometime before the story ends (I pray it never ends).

What are your thoughts on this?

Note: this opinion covers info up until before the current castle arc

[binunus]

college bf!mj

a/n AH !!!! THE ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE ASTRO COMEBACK ???? APRIL 5TH ??? WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE LOVES !! i genuinely...do not know if I will be able to survive this month bc of them. 

(also i tried to get this posted on mj’s birthday but I’m so sorry a lot of shit happened and I had a ~bad mental breakdown~ and it’s just been rough out here but that’s a story for another time if any of you lovely beings wanna know hehe)

→ genre: fluff, smut

→ tw: mentions of cheating (in past relationships)

→ word count: 4.9k ____________________________________

KIM MYUNGJUN !!

A LIVING REINCARNATION OF THE SUN

this is gonna be so cute i just !! love him so much???

has his own apartment, but he honestly stays over all of the boys’ places so much that...he barely sleeps at his apt

major: vocal performance

his voice is literally honey

can probably sing higher than some sopranos in his major

so friendly, everyone who meets him loves him

mj just has a way of attracting people and making people comfortable around him

in short, he is – of course – the moodmaker

can turn anyone’s frown upside down

he’s down?? for like everything

an adventurous spontaneous type

has...probably failed a ged ed class once or twice before...

he’s not stupid okay! he just doesn’t really care about the classes that has no connection to his major

like will he ever apply calculus in singing? probably not

oh but professors can’t hate him, even if he just messes around during class

he’s just so kind and likeable

loves his boys aka astro

will literally do anything to make them smile, even if he’s had a rough day

as long as his boys are happy :’) he’s happy :’)

now how do you meet myungjun??

he’s in an acapella group on campus

he just has to be alright

he was the only freshman that got in during his first year

that shows how good he is :*

a tenor in the highly competitive co-ed group

spoiler alert, he convinces sanha to join, but that’s for college bf!sanha

myungjun is what me and my friends like to call: the solo whore

and it’s not bc he’s greedy for solos, he’s a real team player

his voice just happens to sound the best for most solos your group has??

you’re also in the acapella group

im not giving a voice part bc then that would put you in a binary category

so soprano, alto, tenor, baritone, bass, you pick love

anyway, you and myungjun were chosen to sing a duet for one of your competition pieces

and it was the key emotional piece so you and him had to be on your A games

you and myungjun were friends ofc, you had to be some sort of friends with everyone in your acapella group

but you never really hung out with him outside of rehearsal

well until you got this duet together

and you weren’t worried about it, mj was so fun and nice and an amazing singer, you had no doubt these extra practices with him would be a good time

and you were right! besides singing, you actually got a chance to get to know him and how goofy he really was

you’re pretty sure you always had an ab workout whenever you hung out with him bc of how much he made you laugh

about a month away from competition, you and myungjun were like best buds

literally a chaotic, iconic duo

the chemistry you two had during your duet was spectacular, your voices highlighted and bounced off each other very well

but! your leader had a little critique

“y/n, myungjun, that was great but...can you guys pretend to look...like in love? I get we’re all friends here, but if you can’t convey the emotion of the song in our performance, what’s the point? This goes for everyone, this is a song about how much you love your partner and would give them the world, we need to show that in our eyes and movements, even if you’re just singing ooh and woah for like 10 measures.”

you and myungjun decide to stay after rehearsal and practice the emotions you guess...

your leader had a point, good singing could only go so far

and for the first time, myunjun was a bit...? awkward??

you: alright so how are we gonna pretend to be madly in love with each other

he chuckles and shrugs: honestly I don’t know, look at me like I’m your boyfriend or something??

you: well, I hate my last boyfriend so that probably wouldn’t be a good idea

myungjun offering you a high-five: I hate...well I think I hate...my last partner too so at least we have that

you: how do you think you hate your last partner? are you not dating anyone right now?

he gives you a smile and like you notice it’s forced?? it’s not genuine or bright like the one he usually gives

mj: no I’m not dating anyone...my last relationship sorta traumatized me I guess. 

you: ...how did it traumatize you...? you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to myungjun

mj: ah *awkward laughter* well...I was sorta going through it my senior year of high school, stress from graduating and what to do with my life and all that shit, you know? I dated this person since my freshman year and I guess my mental health got the best of me during that time and they couldn’t handle it. We were planning on staying together throughout college and do long distance but I found out in the summer before starting college that they fucked my high school best friend behind my back...when I confronted them about it, the answer they gave me was that I was too down and preoccupied with my worries to notice about my partner’s needs...pretty fucked up right?

your jaw dropped, your eyes were bulging out at his story

you: myungjun what the fuck??? what college do they go to? I’ll pull up right now and beat their asses, I don’t know scream in their face or something! That’s fucked!

he’s laughing a little: thanks y/n, but it’s alright. You know, maybe I was too caught up in my own problems that I ended up neglecting my partner’s needs...I guess that’s why I’m always just trying to be carefree and fun now.

you: that doesn’t justify the fact that what they did to you was wrong. you should have never gone through that myungjun, it’s not your fault that you were going through it mentally, your partner should have been there to support you and understand your struggles, not cheat on you with your best friend. ugh I’m pissed for you. 

mj: I appreciate it y/n, but yeah love’s sorta a hard subject for me.

you nod in understanding

mj: well! that’s my traumatic breakup story, it’s only fair you share yours

you laugh: you’re right. Well I was dating this guy right when I entered college, met him at the freshman orientation, completely hit it off. I was so in love with him, we dated for about a year. And then last semester he broke up with me out of nowhere, said he wanted to focus on school and himself and that he needed a break from dating. I found out two days later that he started dating one of his suite mates and that on the night he broke up with me, they fucked. So love? also something hard for me.

mj: aww look at us both unable to find or relate to love because of past relationship traumas.

you hit his shoulder laughing: you’re such a headass

mj: I’m kidding! anyway, I’m sorry you went through that too y/n. it sucks and your ex is a dumbass for breaking up with you. Do you still have feelings for him? w-wait, you don’t have to answer that, was that insensitive?

you: you’re fine haha. Um...well...sometimes when I overthink things at night, I do miss him and I wonder what the hell I did wrong for it to end so abruptly because I was honestly really happy with him, but then I wake up in the morning and I hate him again. 

mj: you did nothing wrong y/n...and if you need to call me at 2 am when you’re overthinking and need some badass confidence knocked into you, I will be awake.

you smile and give him a hug: thanks myungjun...you know the same goes for you too?

mj: hm??? what do you mean??

you: you don’t always have to smile around me, especially if you don’t feel like it. Don’t repress your mental health, huh? It’s bad for the soul to bottle it in. I’m not gonna force you to share your darkest fears with me, I’m just saying that if you feel drained and wanna talk about it, I’m here to listen

myungjun pouts a little bit, he’s really touched?? it’s hard for him to share his troubles with others

like as much as he loves astro and is close to them, he doesn’t share his down sides with the boys as often as he should bc he never wants to burden them

myungjun just always thought it was easier to suppress the bad feelings and put on a happy act

but he couldn’t deny the weight lifted off his shoulders after telling you about his breakup

and maybe it was because your energies were on a different level lately, but he found it so?? easy?? to just vent to you after that

until competition, the two of you worked on faking like you were in love (basically imagining that each other was your favorite actor/actress or whatever, something like that)

it was good enough for the group to believe it lol

but what about the judges and audience hmmmmm

anyway, fast forward and it’s competition day!!

myungjun introduces you to his best friends aka the boysss aka astro

they come and support him for his competition ugh we love

you’re like smiling and hyper when you meet them

...has myungjun been rubbing off on you???

you: it’s so nice to meet you all! myungun always talks so highly of you

astro: huh?? you’re lying, myungjun hyung complimenting us???

and then they start messing and friendly bickering with each other and yes they’re teasing mj

you’re laughing bc it’s so cute?? you can see in their eyes and their smiles how much they really care about each other :’)

also astro, probably jin or eunwoo, maybe rocky: we’re sorry if m hyung has driven you to insanity these past few months of rehearsing

you just laugh as myungjun hits them: myungjun’s actually been like my partner in crime lately, so we’re all good :)

*cue the boys exchanging looks with each other*

you perform ah ha ha

alright, you were so used to thinking that myungjun was...idk kim soohyun or something bc mm chef’s kiss his acting...to get into the emotion of the song

but then during the actual performance you saw him as myungjun and like all the hard work and extra practices and late night talks came in full force and you were just...singing to him

and you notice how...handsome?? and charismatic?? myungjun really is...and the little sparkle in his eyes when he’s performing like...wow

and after your set, you’re just like shit, what the fuck was that??

your group doesn’t win though, you place second!

but you and myungjun get awarded best solo/duet of the entire competition

astro: ;)

your acapella group: ;)

the judges: ;)

alright so im a firm believer that if myungjun had feelings for someone, he would straight up tell them like balls to the wall full fucking send

after competition, the routine of school comes back. you occasionally hang out with myungjun outside of rehearsal

by occasionally, I mean once a week hangout with myungjun (and astro bc they started inviting you to their dinners)

and then one night – at midnight – he calls you like out of pocket and his tone is like completely serious

you’re a bit scared?? like: myungjun...is everything okay? did something happen?

mj: y/n...can I ask you something?

you: yeah, of course

mj: do you still think about your ex?

you: o_o um...honestly no, not really...why?

mj: well, if I’m being honest. y/n, I have feelings for you. And i’m not asking you to like me back or give me an answer straight away, but I just wanted to let you know. If you don’t think about your ex anymore, and if you think you’re ready...maybe you can consider thinking of me??

mmmmm kim myungjun you slick flirty dog grrr bark bark

and you know how he can just talk, and talk fast, so you’re still in the middle of processing this and he just goes on like

“sleep on it, y/n. I’ll see you soon for rehearsal, okay? good night”

like you don’t even have a chance to respond to him bc he just hangs up the phone

you think about it, of course you think about it, you’ve been thinking about it ever since competition

having feelings for myungjun has always been in the back of your mind since then

like did you notice that when you hung out with him, your heart would flutter if he said something sweet?? or if you two were a bit too close to each other?? 100%

but you didn’t know if either of you were ready for another relationship so it’s just been put on the back burner

at the next acapella practice, you find that your cheeks just flush whenever myungjun looks your way

the rehearsal went a bit??? weird?? like even your group noticed that there was a bit of a tension between you and myungjun

but of course, he goes up and talks to you after rehearsal ended and he’s like: hey...I’m sorry if my confession made you feel weird, I didn’t mean for that at all. If you want, we can just forget about what I said and stay friends! 

you just facepalm like: myungjun you idiot, I’m acting weird because I like you too. God, you know maybe the boys are right, maybe you need to shut your mouth for a little bit

and he whines like: hey!

but then he realizes what you said and he gives you the brightest smile: you mean it?? you like me back??

and you’re like shyly smiling now: yeah...I do...but do you want to take the next step?? I mean...do you think you’re ready for another relationship??

he gets like serious and he grabs your hand: not gonna lie, I don’t think I’ll ever be fully ready after my last one...but if there’s someone I wanna try it with, it’s you.

:’) kim !!! myung !!! jun !!!

dating myungjun?? the best thing ever

the cutest boy alive honestly

he has so much cute and goofy in him already with just friends and strangers

but with you, it’s increased tenfold

even you start to act cute and goofy after dating him

petnames?? bub and bubby

myungjun is not serious about a lot of things, but he is very serious about his feelings for you and your relationship

y’all take things at your own pace and he !! values !! consent !! even if it’s just like making out

he just doesn’t wanna mess things up with you :’)

the type of boyfriend to sing you to sleep ah !!! his voice is heaven alright

will be extra about pda in front of the guys to make them grossed out

and yes you get embarrassed, but myungjun’s too cute to scold

you get used to a lot of second-hand embarrassment dating him and being friends with the boys

but it’s just so endearing, you can’t even fight it

will swing your arms together when you’re out just walking

screams he’s so cute

you don’t really fight bc communicating with each other is one of the biggest things in your relationship

like if a disagreement or a situation comes up, you two are mature enough to talk it through and work things out bc you both already been knew what it’s like to be in a relationship that didn’t have full transparency

you do jokingly bicker about small things though (like think about how astro fights)

but he always ends fights by scooping you up in a hug and showering your face with kisses

loves kissing your nose

just imagine: you and myungjun cuddling and he just kisses your nose and you scrunch up your face and he just laughs and kisses you all over and you two end up giggling

will do anything to see a smile on your face, it’s the greatest sight to him

alright we been talking too much about how cute myungjun is

he’s also a hot motherfucker alright

the most attractive when he’s singing in your opinion

you know how charismatic he is, you’ve seen it first hand during rehearsal and performances

he’s very good at hiding his horniness, especially in public

but phew when you two are in private and myungjun’s in the mood

you can tell bc his eyes just get hazy and he immediately just starts kissing your neck

a very passionate lover, will prioritize your pleasure over his

sex with myungjun can go from being sweet and sensual, to fun and playful, to hot and exciting

by that...I mean that he is down to try every kink and position you can think of

as long as both of you are okay with it ofc

he’s one of the kinkiest members in astro im convinced

blindfolds? bondage? ice cubes? wax play?

you want it? you got it

he’s not into feet though, i apologize to my foot fetish lovers

his favorite position is actually missionary

myungjun loves being able to watch you and to see how good he’s making you feel

in missionary is when he feels the most connected to you, it’s just a passionate position

and yes he’s very vocal, so you betcha he encourages you to be vocal as well

will try to mess with you in a sense where say you two are hanging out with the guys, he’ll touch you and challenge you to not make a noise

and then he’ll snicker and wink at you if you even let out a peep

he’s a tease !!! like will edge you until you’re on the brink of cumming at least 3 times

myungjun has pretty good stroke game alright

very fluid with his hips, idk he just knows all the right spots to hit

praise...kink...that’s the tweet, need I say more

he’s into hair pulling !! both ways !! 

okay hear me out...myungjun fucking you and pulling your hair until your screaming and then after you both cum, he’s like: you hit a high f earlier bub! I almost wanted to harmonize with you but–

you: myungjun are you serious!

sex with him would always just be a fun time, like he’s hot and grrr it feels so good but there’s always a bit of laughing and joking around in the process

like he will tickle you before he puts his cock in you just to see the switch of you laughing to moaning

alright but shower sex?? he’s into that

and just the acoustics of both of your sounds in the bathroom?? it’s so filthy he loves it – and it’s easy to clean up afterwards

you bet that after any performance with your group, the two of you have sex, even if it’s just a quickie in an empty practice room or whatever

no shame, will kick the boys out or announce “we’re going to fuck bye!” if you or him get too horny in the middle of a hangout

im just gonna throw this out here...you and myungjun...mile high club

(your group competed in an acapella competition and the flight there...it just happened)

all in all, myungjun just wants to make you happy and feel good and smile, even if you two just finished an intense sex session

let’s get into the deep stuff though, you are the only person myungjun is comfortable with to not show a smile all the time

even with the boys, there’s always a small part of him that wants to just push through and be optimistic just so that they won’t worry

but with you, he knows that it’s okay to be sad and to be vulnerable :’)

when myungjun cries bc he’s upset :( fuck you cry too

he loves when you just hug him and stroke his hair when he’s stressed

very showy about your relationship, not bc he’s braggy, but bc he just wants to show the world how happy you make him and that he’s in love <3

the boys are so happy to see their eldest in love :’)

they don’t show it around each other, but they’ve come up to you in private and say sweet things like

“you make myungjun hyung so happy, he always brings joy to everyone but you bring joy to him, thank you”

im !! getting !! sentimental !!

the day you found out myungjun was in love with you was the day you met his parents

‘twas a bit spontaneous

his parents came to see one of your group performances and myungjun’s like holding your hand and leading you somewhere after you get off stage and he’s like “bub! these are my parents!”

you end up getting dinner with his family and yikes you were hella nervous, you were not expecting on meeting his parents right after your performance

not gonna lie, you thought he was leading you to the car for some post-performance sex

but they adored you, his parents could see how much you meant to their son ugh I cry

anyway, the L word

as you’re finishing dinner, myungjun’s all giddy and just like

“I’m so glad you came and watched mom and dad, the timing was perfect too! I wanted to introduce you to y/n for a while now and have you meet the person I love.”

and his parents are just smiling at you and saying how they’re so happy to finally meet you and how you have an amazing voice and to take care of myungjun and you’re !!! just !!! blushing !!!

as soon as you both got in the car after saying goodbye to his parents, he’s just like: hope I didn’t surprise you too much bubby, I didn’t know my parents were coming to watch until like an hour before we went on stage

you just give him a little smile: I was a bit caught off guard, but it’s okay. Your parents are so sweet, I see where you get it from bub.

myungjun: I can tell that they love you already! well of course not as much as I do, but with time I know they’ll come pretty close

and you’re blushing again, it’s the L word: do you mean it myungjun?

myungjun: that my parents love you?? of course–

you: no, bub...that you...love me?

myungjun: yeah...unless you don’t feel the same way–

you: myungjun! no, of course I do! I just wasn’t expecting the first time to hear it was with your parents

you two are laughing, ugh this man

after your giggles subside, he leans over from the driver’s seat and he just cups your cheek and pecks your nose: I love you y/n, thank you for reminding me what love feels like

you: I love you too myungjun

and then you two are just like sharing a sweet kiss in the parking lot of the restaurant before starting the drive back to his place

do you and myungjun make duets together for fun and post it?? yeah probably

you are the luckiest dating myungjun, the living breathing embodiment of serotonin and love

even when you two are older and out of college, he still gives you the same affection and attention and authenticity ugh he’s just amazing

im so sorry this was late but happy belated to our happy virus <3

3-12-21

[jj-ktae]

Millennials - Part 8 -

Gif : courtesy of @demongyeom​

Title: Millennials

Genre: Fluff, romance

Pairing: Kim Yugyeom x You

Summary: Life is made of stages and each of them is a hard push on the back, forcing you to forge ahead. You’re facing your biggest crisis, and then there’s him, who lives from day to day. Of course he does, he is just a kid.

Words: 4079

Warning: Small age difference. Yugyeom x Noona Reader.

- Teaser - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 -  

Part 8 

You wake up to a cheerful Yugyeom with his eyes are opened and his body is facing you. His head is lazily resting on his elbow and his smile is so wide it gives you no choice but to reciprocate it. “Did you sleep well, noona?” You sigh, nodding. It’s one of the best morning you have ever had. Yugyeom’s grin deepens, his hand reaching for your cheek to cup your face in silence. Even the noises outside disappear. “Want to eat breakfast?” You ask, blinking when Yugyeom nuzzles his face into your neck. He does have a lot of tattoos. You realised this last night when you took his clothes off. The thought only makes you swallow with difficulty.

Your boyfriend is not the least embarrassed anymore as you let your fingers wander on his bare and inked back. Instead, he grunts, making tiny noises when you start scratching the tender skin. Yugyeom leaves before lunch. He has important classes and he can’t miss them, even though he would have preferred to stay with you. He walks away with a heavy yet contented heart, his steps light and smile bright. You end up being showered with kisses, hugs, mushy words and all the things you were quite sure you despised until Yugyeom entered your life. When the door closes, you lean against it with a stupid smile.

Yugyeom is on cloud nine. Life is beautiful. -- “Oh so you finally stopped being a bitch?” Naya mocks, her eyes leaving her phone to raise a teasing brow. “Poor boy finally hit a triple.” She chuckles, looking almost relieved.

“That wasn’t the purpose initially. I didn’t invite him over to...you know.”  You try to explain, defensive. You surprise yourself even, thinking about how you don’t want this to be something purely physical.

Naya whistles. “How do you go from I’m going to beat this kid to I’m being serious with him? Let me guess, you stopped lying to yourself and accepted the fact that someone out there could actually want you?”

“Stop teasing me!” You answer, bewildered. “Yeah, I’m in love with him. He’s just too precious and genuine and makes me feel like I’m worth something. Are you happy now?”

Your friend laughs way too loudly and way too enthusiastically. “I’m not teasing! I’m just happy for you. Stop being so serious about everything, I bet your boyfriend would want to see you as happy as he must be.”

It’s true. You hope he is happy and doesn’t regret anything. Your phone vibrates, stopping you from stuttering another pitiful excuse.


I miss you, noona. Naya rolls her eyes when she sees your dreamy smile.

“Here goes the love fool.” she shivers. “Anyways, I’m not going to ask for details because knowing you, I won’t get anything. Well...seeing you smile means he probably was great.”

“He is a dancer; he can move his hips.” Is all you say before Naya slaps your shoulder, completely excited.

She goes back to serious while you’re busy typing back a message. You can’t believe you’re being this mushy.

You don’t even mind.

“Speaking of dancing, will you be going to the annual high-school party?” Naya asks, hopeful. You face speaks for itself, though.

You don’t see the point in such gatherings. Your former high school has the habit of holding an annual party where current and old students gather for basically no reason. It’s a custom you never really understood and even as a student, you dreaded going to one. Naya would always nag you for days until you got mad at her.

These gatherings are nothing but a way to boast about your own achievements and you have nothing to be proud of.

You went once. You ended up being mocked by classmates for being a future nobody. You left, crying about how true their statement was.

You’ve been avoiding all these people thoroughly ever since that day.

Naya thinks otherwise. She has tough skin and often blames you of silently agreeing with them. She wants you to get a grip and be shameless, to go and shut their mouth.

She just wants you to stop running away from your insecurities.

When you don’t answer, she continues “Go with your boyfriend.” She shrugs, her lips transforming into a pout when you gasp. “What now? Don’t tell me you don’t want them to see him?”

You don’t know why it makes you feel anxious. Your relationship is fairly new and maybe Yugyeom will feel pressured. He doesn’t seem to be the type of boy who enjoys that sort of party. Also, it scares you; they wouldn’t hesitate to make fun of your Yugyeom.

You don’t want him to get involved into this mess.

Naya rolls her eyes when you hesitate, her tone changing drastically. “If you want your boyfriend to feel accepted you should invite him and enjoy the party while you’re at it. Get over that trauma and make yourself pretty, I promise it’ll be worth it.”

You ponder, jaw tightening. “I’ll think about it.”

--

“Yugyeom smells like sex!”

“Shut up!” Yugyeom grabs Bambam before his friend can speak even louder. The restaurant is crowded and he feels the tip of his ears burning when a couple of people turn around, puzzled.

“So this is why you didn’t answer your phone…” Jinyoung mocks, a tiny smile displaying on his lips as he keeps on munching on his food. “And to think I was worried about you failing.”

Yugyeom rolls his eyes, thanking the waiter as he grabs the menu. “Can we not talk about my sex life please?”

“Oh now he has a sex life….” Bambam takes his most annoying voice, his glass of wine making him look even more ridiculous.

Yugyeom sighs, doing his best not to strangle his best friend. He looks at him then Jinyoung, before letting his elbows rest on the table. They wait for him to talk, expectant but nothing prepares them for what happens next.

“She is so sweet…” he squeals, his cheeks turning the same shade of red. He tries to hide his face behind his hands but he ends up shaking on his chair instead. “She is perfect.”

Jinyoung raises a hand. “Nope, nope. I was just teasing you. I am not going to sit and listen to you talk about sex.”

Bambam hushes him, making a face. “Well, I want to know!”

“I’m not talking about sex!” Yugyeom sighs exasperatedly. “She is the one who found me because she felt I was being distant. The man was her friend’s co-worker; it turns out they were all drinking together because he is dating someone younger and she needed advices.”

“How unexpected, it was a misunderstanding.” Jinyoung fakes, an outrageous hand covering his mouth. “It’s not like some people actually told you to go and talk to her directly…”

“Anyways, she invited me over and it was amazing…” Yugyeom wouldn’t be able to put his happiness into words. He who has been struggling with this relationship for so long finally saw the genuine and vulnerable you after all this time.

He cannot forget about the way you looked at him, how soft your skin was, how delicate you were being in fear of breaking him. He feels numb, like nothing can hurt him anymore and he is invincible. He can barely focus ever since he left your place but it doesn’t matter; he loves you too much to care about the rest of the world.  He went to class but his soul wasn’t there; it was trapped somewhere between the clouds, bouncing and singing about how amazing love is.

Jackson arrives shortly after, checking his friend and sitting. He looks around the table and merely furrows his brows before flashing the dirtiest smile ever.

“Oh my god, Yugyeom smells like sex.”

He doesn’t know why he is friends with such people.

In the middle of endless teasing and loud laughter, Yugyeom sends numerous texts, each as cheesy as the previous one. You are working now but you answer quickly so he doesn’t complain.

The convenience store is surprisingly empty this evening. You don’t mind though; it gives you time to think about your situation and answer the texts you receive from Yugyeom. He tells you he is eating with his friends but also mentions that they can’t be taken anywhere so you might see them someday if he doesn’t kill them today.

His texts are comforting and serene; it feels good to interact with your boyfriend that way. You clean around the convenience store when you feel like it but most of your time is spent sitting and waiting.

Which is completely fine by you.

A few people enter, buy what they need and leave. It’s not an unusual shift. You get back to work when the probability of spending the whole shift resting becomes dangerously tempting. Your colleague did mention the floor being sticky - but didn’t say why she didn’t clean - so you decide to do it. You end up being interrupted by your boyfriend only, who turns out to be suffering if you refer to his texts about a guy named Bambam who is going to get strangled if he doesn’t shut up.

“Y/N? Is that you?” You would recognise the voice among millions. You consider ignoring it but who knows what trouble it would bring. You suddenly hate how you are supposed to be at everyone’s service.

You turn around with the politest smile, the one you know isn’t welcoming at all.

“Hi, Hansol.”

You’re not mad to see him. Even though he brings bad memories, nothing seems to upset you today. You just want him to buy whatever he needs and leave.

“I thought these were rumours…” he trails off, his eyes scanning the convenience store. The boy seems surprised but the smile on his face says it all.

He is looking down on you.

It’s a face you learnt to live with. It was your choice not to make it into a big school. When it isn’t him it’s your parents and so on; the look of failure is sometimes unbearable.

“Thank you for your concern.” You snicker, turning around. He will probably snort and leave, hopefully.

“You seem busy...cleaning but will you be coming to the annual high-school party? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you there…”

You stop again, sighing. “It’s because I usually don’t go.”

What the hell is wrong with him? Most of your encounters ended with poorly hidden mockery and organised bullying.

Hansol makes a pitiful noise, his acting skills still as bad as what they used to be. “It’s a pity but I guess…” He lifts a hand and shows the broom, a smirk appearing on his face. “you’ve got responsibilities. I understand. I’ll greet them on your beh-”

“I said I usually don’t go. I will go this year, with my boyfriend. I can give my best regards myself.” You utter, gripping the broom so hard it’s hurting your hands.

Hansol seems startled but recovers, a bottle of wine now in his hands. “Great! I’ll see you there, then.” His smile is as fake as yours, if not more. You follow him toward the counter to take care of the payment and barely bow when he leaves.

You hate all of them.

You were hesitating whether you should go but now you have no choice. Naya is going to be ecstatic but all you can think of is how you’re going to ask Yugyeom. You’re both working tomorrow so it gives you time to come up with a way to make him agree.

Yugyeom agrees without a single blink.

You had barely started explaining the situation when he said yes, his eyes focused. He is joyful and you notice he is doing his best to keep his hands off you.

But he fails and when he is sure no customers are here, he takes you by the hand to the storage room.

“What if someone comes?” You whisper, glancing at the storage room’s door.

“No one will enter. Relax, noona.” Yugyeom has left the earth. He hopes you noticed how complete he feels. “I just really missed you.”

Your answer is now different, making Yugyeom go weak on his knees. “I missed you too, Gyeomie.”

He squeals, his face hiding in your neck as hugs you. “I will die at a young age if you keep doing this.” You laugh, your arms reaching for his neck to bring him closer. “I will make sure you make it out alive.”

Yugyeom doesn’t want to keep talking. He is a fool who will probably end up saying something even more embarrassing so he kisses you instead. That way he is sure you won’t be able to destroy his last two brain cells.

You don’t mind. Your inability to use your words is as spectacular as Yugyeom’s so that solution is much preferred. You enjoy every brush of his lips, your finger gripping his neck and nape to bring him toward you. There’s a certain rush, a thrill which seems to excite both of you, so much that it turns you into a wild cat, eager to jump and wrap your legs around his waist.

So you do just that.

Yugyeom does his best not to enjoy the embrace too much. Now is definitely not the moment to tickle his naughtiness and as much as he would love to close that boring store, he parts from you with a knot in his throat and heavy eyelids.

“This, we can’t do, Noona.” His sheepish smile says otherwise just like his hands, gripping your legs and securing you around him.

You silently agree, ready to jump off but stopping yourself. “About that annual party…” You had almost forgot about it because your brain is melting at your boyfriend’s loveliness. “I probably didn’t mention this, but I usually don’t go. I don’t really enjoy meeting with my ex-classmates. You know why.”

Yugyeom understands totally. He heard enough to know you were surrounded by annoying teenagers who probably didn’t help in making you feel even less confident than you already were.

“You don’t have to go. We can still do something, just the two of us.” He tries, just to make sure you are taking the good decision.

You shake your head, “Now that I said I would go, I have to. I don’t want any of them to come and add salt to the wound if I don’t show up.”

“I’ll make sure not to embarrass you, Noona.”

You wrap yourself tighter around him, the words swelling your heart more than they should. You offer one last peck on his inviting lips before landing back on the ground.

“You’ll do great.”

--

The building looks exactly the same. Its grey walls are as uninviting as ever and the lights - announcing a party is running - do nothing to make it look attracting.

You think about the numerous times you ran those stairs, eyes filled with tears and hair a mess. Now you have to go inside, take the opposite path and run into the way too obvious trap. Word probably spread and everyone is expecting you to enter. Come to think of it, that would give them a great opportunity to recall good times.

“You don’t like it here right?” Naya adjusts her dress, her heels giving her a funny limp on the irregular pavement.

You follow swiftly, the knot in your chest blocking every positive thought. It’s the worst situation. Yugyeom had to stay at the store because your colleague is sick and he is supposed to join you later. You need him here now.

Everything is now too overwhelming. The big room is too crowded, the music is too loud, the outfits are blinding and the food is giving you nausea. You are glad Naya didn’t bring a date; she often mentions how useless men can be despite her endless support toward your relationship and you can’t thank her enough as her arm wraps around yours comfortingly.

She raises her chin and straightens her back, eyes scanning through the mess of luxury brands and business laughter. “Be proud. No one here means enough to bother you. Whatever they say is air, got it?” Her little hypnosis session weaves fragments of positivity into your brain, forcing you to straighten your back too.

“I can do this.”

You thought you could. You were quite sure Yugyeom was late by now but the number glasses you drank so far distorted not only your vision but also your notion of time. You lost Naya somewhere between the group of successful lawyers and doctors, you don’t even remember when exactly. You heard her loud voice, promising to join you soon and to wait for her before someone grabbed her to talk about management.

You don’t feel drunk though, because you can walk just fine. You took up residence in front of the buffet, back facing everyone else. This way you won’t have to deal with anyone.

That’s what you thought.

“You’re here! And I thought you were just bragging….” Hansol’s voice feels like grating to your ears. You swallow the food with a chug of champagne, your tongue flattening against your teeth to clean the mess of roe left by the toasts.

You turn around, finding yourself facing one dumbass and two bitches. Hansol is still in the same circle of friends and he can’t seem to let go of his bullying habits. “Hi everyone.”

You hope your dress looks good, you hope your makeup is pretty and you pray that your semi-drunk state isn’t going to turn you into the nation’s joke. You usually don’t care about such things; tonight is different though, you want them to notice how unimportant they are.

Then you remember about your professional life and give up, the confidence tearing a bewildered snort out of nowhere.

“Hansol told us you are working in a convenience store? I’m glad you succeeded, god knows how hard it is for dropouts nowadays.” One of the girl starts, her manicured hand covered in shiny rings and wrist wrapped by an expensive-looking watch.

“Right,” Hansol answers, his lips curving up and a brow now lifted as he tilts his chin towards you. “It’s the best outcome for you, dropout.”

The word makes your hand fall on the table for support. You feel your entire body shivering, knees going weak and joints bending. You want to curl into a ball and calm your rapid breathing. Cold sweats make you feel like you dipped yourself into a bucket of ice and your head feels like you stayed underwater for too long.

Everything disappears; the music, the taste of food, the amount of courage it took to hold a conversation. You barely greeted them, you didn’t even say anything yet; how can they already be so disparaging?

Maybe you should leave. Naya is nowhere to be seen and you don’t want to face any of them. Nothing can be trusted as your eyes look around the room, paranoia making you feel judged wherever you stare. You pinch your lips and shake your head, orbs unfocused as you take a step to the side and ignore them.

You knew it was a big mistake.

You are glad to be able to hold the tears in when you walk away from them; your pride is still intact even though you feel like a piece of shit.

You take two more steps before colliding into a body.

“I gotchu, noona.”

--

Yugyeom had run like someone was chasing him. He had no choice but to stay when his boss came to take over his shift because their colleague called in sick. He couldn’t feel unluckier when he found himself being almost two hours late but it didn’t matter anymore.

His eyes fell on you as soon as he entered the big room.

He was ready to wave at you and apologize profusely but something made him stop to analyse the situation. You were talking to three people and you were gripping on the buffet table in a way that announced nothing pleasing was happening.

The three people had knowing smirks, their teeth too white to be natural and attire shining more than the lights themselves.

Then you walked away and even with your distressed expression you looked stunning. You dress was showing your pretty legs and your makeup was so perfect. Yugyeom really wondered why no one was treating you like a queen already. He saw your hands turning into fists, the way you took a deep breath so you wouldn’t break in front of everybody, how fast your eyelids were fluttering.

It all made sense in his head; the way you would push everyone away, your coldness, your lack of self-esteem. It was perfectly clear.

He took the same deep breath, ignoring the hungry stares of the women standing close to the doorway. Yugyeom had followed every single advice from Bambam so even though he felt uncomfortable with how unbuttoned his shirt was and how tight his jeans felt, he took a straight face.

His gait made a few people stop what they were doing; no one had recognized this fine-looking boy who was walking like a model.

You didn’t see him, too busy to escape the scene. The collision makes Yugyeom feel like he caught a deer in headlights. Your body instantly freezes and muscles tense but relief takes over when you look up.

He wraps his arms around you, his body gently rocking along with the music as he hums into your ear.

You close your eyes, distress evaporating and relaxing your bones. “You’re here.” you whisper fondly. “Finally”

Yugyeom spins sweetly, purposely ignoring the questioning eyes around the both of you. “Sorry I’m late.”

“It’s fine. I was just...chatting with ex-classmates.”

You feel your boyfriend nod, his arms leaving you to offer some distance and look at you properly. “You’re the prettiest, noona.”

Your blush doesn’t go unnoticed, hitting Yugyeom right in the heart and he swears he will never stop complimenting you if it means seeing you this happy.

You are amazed by how stylish he is. He did mention his friend Bambam was picking his outfit because he is a fashionista but you never thought it would be this fitting.

Yugyeom looks like the finest breed of man.

“You look older than me.” You confess.

“Oh, do you want to call me oppa?” He mocks, your laugh killing all trace of worry in Yugyeom’s mind.

“Ah, we’re back with the weird kinks…” You answer, letting him take the lead as he spins you around delicately.

You don’t even notice that no one else but you are dancing.

You see Naya emerge from the crowd when you spin and she is walking toward Hansol, determined.

You don’t really care anymore as Yugyeom entwines his fingers around yours.

Naya couldn’t get out of this trap. She was there, barely listening to whatever was happening while you were talking with Hansol and his minions. She saw everything, from the way you were about to run away to how your boyfriend caught you.

She went to the trio as soon as she knew you were going to be okay.

“Oh so here is the Architect!” She whistles, eyeing Hansol who is busy staring at you and Yugyeom. “What are you looking at?” she feints.

“Is this Y/N’s boyfriend?” One of the girl asks, eyes glittering and mouth opened.

Naya nods, arms now crossed. “Aren’t they so cute?” she fakes a laugh before turning adding. “I don’t see your dates though…? Oh right, I forgot you’re all single.”

Hansol scoffs, his voice higher than expected, “What is that supposed to mean, Naya?”

“What?” With her hand now on her chest in a not so apologetic manner, your friend continues. “Oh my bad! Last time I heard, your girlfriend left with your boss, right? Sorry for bringing up such painful memories.”

The boy is dumbfounded but his pride makes him shrug. “I broke up.”

Naya ignores him, her smile so icy he can only try to justify himself some more as she walks away after grabbing a glass a champagne.

She goes to the other side of the room before sitting down, her smile widening when she sees you laugh at you boyfriend’s antics.

She likes it much better that way.

[acklesangel97]

Sad. Disappointed. Pissed off. Heartbroken. All the emotions. I just can’t believe they thought that was acceptable. I’ve got a few points to make.

* I just cannot get over the fact that not only they chose to kill Dean off but like THAT and THAT soon? Like, this man, this incredible man, has gone through SO much and suffered SO much and he’s just defeated god (didn’t even kill him, he spared him) so he can FINALLY live his life and be FREE and he barely gets to enjoy that before he meets his end at the hands of a fucking rusty nail sticking out of the wall?? NO! That’s fucked up! What even is that? He’s a hero! He should’ve died like a hero but not before he at least got to enjoy his life first. Or he could’ve retired cos god knows if anyone deserved to retire it was Dean Winchester. Just... a rusty nail? Really??

* And Dean’s death scene was so emotional, so heartfelt with some beautiful words and moments and I did cry a lot. But for me that scene, and even the scene at the end (and other scenes throughout the series involving the brothers) are ruined by w*ncesties. I feel like I can no longer appreciate Sam and Dean’s incredible bond and love for each other without thinking about them loving it for all the wrong reasons and making into something sick and twisted and thinking that they won and that their sick incest ship went canon. So they ruined that.

* WHY WASN’T CAS THERE??! It was established that he’s out of the empty, alive and well and helped Jack redesign heaven so why couldn’t he have appeared for one fucking minute?! I’m not even talking about destiel rn, Castiel was such an important and loved character on the show and saved the show more than once so why couldn’t he have been there? Greeted Dean in heaven? And after Bobby mention that Cas helped Jack, that was totally an opening for him to appear. Even if when Dean was driving he could’ve stopped when he found Cas, gave him a hug or something idk. Just so disrespectful to the character and to Misha.

* Now talking about destiel. I genuinely don’t think I would’ve been as disappointed in that finale if we didn’t get the “I love you” in 18. Cos before that, my hopes and expectations were LOW. I was expecting to be let down and to be sad. But then THAT happened and we were given hope and the show had a huge opportunity to make this finale iconic. Like the whole idea of Dean saving Cas from the Empty, raising Cas from perdition, coming full circle... that would’ve been incredible. What a story. But even just Cas meeting Dean in heaven would’ve sufficed. And they set it all up so perfectly for Dean to tell Cas he loves him too (I mean we all know he does anyway, we have eyes). Amazing character development. It would’ve been such a beautiful end to what can only be described as the greatest love story... I feel it was left so open-ended and incomplete cos Dean never got to say something back to Cas. And Cas was BARELY mentioned in the last 2 episodes. We were all annoyed at Jensen and Misha for not saying anything and saying 18 was Cas’ last scene and we didn’t believe them but they were just trying not to set us up to be disappointed. But alas, we are all clowns. Jensen even said he didn’t want to put Dean into a box and that he was open to all interpretations of that scene and how Dean felt, trying to give us some validation. So thanks for that boys, honestly. We should’ve listened.

* Why didn’t Sam end up with Eileen? Who tf was that random woman he married and had a kid with? I mean they wouldn’t even let the straight couple we all shipped be together?

* Maybe not quite as important but what was with that grey wig they gave Jared? And couldn’t they have tried to make his face look older?

* Also why did they bring back that random vampire from season 1 for like 30 seconds before killing her? Pointless.

* No one was at Dean’s funeral? Just Sam and Miracle? I know, Covid and all that but they surely could’ve gotten like Jody and Donna and a couple of the girls or other hunters they knew and stood socially distanced or something. Cos for all Dean’s died many times he’s never had a hunters funeral. Where’s the respect?

So yeah, not very pleased. At all. But this is what we’re stuck with. Can’t change it. Will I eventually make peace with it? Idk. I mean I have always said I would only be content if they were both dead in the end cos I couldn’t go on with my life wondering what one or both of them were up to or if they were ok. So it gave me closure in that sense. But they sort of dismissed the whole “family don’t end with blood” thing and the chosen family they made over the years and brought it back to just the brothers. And I get that Sam and Dean are at the heart of the show but the show became so much more than just them throughout the years. I think the beginning and the end were ok, I just didn’t like most of everything in the middle.

But SPN has introduced me to some wonderful people and an amazing fandom who are really like a crazy, dysfunctional family and I’ll always love it for that. It’s shaped so much of my life and who I am and it’s brought me a lot of joy and comfort over the years. I won’t abandon it or the fandom. And at the end of the day, there’s always fanfiction.

[cina-full-moon-xanadium]

Cina’s Top 5 toys of the year

So, getting right into it; that wasn’t a bad year for me for toys! It’s the first time I’ve had a job in a while and hence more disposable income, so since Transformers this was the first time I could really start digging into figures a fair bit more. Not quite in the realm of buying DX stuff yet so none of that’ll be on this list, and all of this is toys I personally bought rather than things that released in 2020 (though most of them are). 

5. S.H. Figuarts Shinkkochou Seihou Momotaros

Fun figure. Fun, fun, FUN fucking figure! A lot of people have been calling this guy one of the best SHF releases ever just for how much you can get out of them and I can’t blame them. Momotaros’ energy lends itself extremely well to this figure which uses its insane articulation - mostly unhindered due to Momo’s simple design - and fun hand options to pull off just about any crazy pose from Den-O you can think of. I haven’t been able to get much out of him due to being thrown into a hellish schedule right after, but what little play I have been able to have with the guy is so stupidly fun. Can’t not love him!

4. S.H. Figuarts Kamen Rider Fourze

Might look a bit weird to have this guy come after Momotaros. In an objective sense he’s a worse figure in every way -- he’s not as articulate, not as well-detailed, old SHF’s advantage of loads of accessories isn’t really a thing with this release (you basically just get the rocket and drill modules), and naturally he’s just a very outdated figure. But... man, personally, I just can’t deny how much I LOVE looking over at him! He was the last part in completing my much-wanted W-OOO-Fourze team-up display this year and he seriously looks the part any time I give him a glance. Despite his size he’s got such a wonderful shelf presence and his modules are so fun I have to put him on this list. At the end of the day it’s about how a toy makes you feel rather than its Objective Qualities, and SHF Fourze makes me feel happy!

3. Lightning Collection Abarekiller (”Dino Thunder White”)

This guy fucks? He fucks. He fucks so fucking hard. It’s difficult to get across just how insanely much the replacement headsculpt improves him and just how much personality he has! Granted, I’d like for Hasbro to throw me some more hand options for a little more personality, but I’ll take what I can get -- and what I get is a beautiful figure of a supreme bastard who looks great no matter what I do with him. 

2. Figure-Rise Standard Kamen Rider Den-O and Figure-Rise Standard Kamen Rider W

Cheating? This is kinda cheating, but... aaaagh I have to do this! I will say off the bat that I like Den-O more and thinks he’s the best FRS release yet -- a few looseness problems on the wrist and teething problems building aside, he’s a downright perfect representation of Sword Form that then decides that’s not enough, and for like £2 extra throws in an entire Plat Form change that even works its way into the build in a fun way! It was wonderful seeing this announced next to the very expensive Seihou and I’ve only loved it every day since.

And W? Not quite as cool, but like Fourze I can’t deny just how much shelf presence he has. It’s an iconic and well-loved design for a reason; it stands out and the scarf only makes it even better. You can do ANYTHING with him and he’ll look cool, and while I don’t get much use out of it myself, I have to applaud how perfectly and smoothly both the form change and W Xtreme gimmicks were pulled off. Both of these kits I had so much fun building and so much fun playing with and looking at after, and for £20 each, this is an insanely good line that’s only getting better. 

1. Shinkkochou Seihou Kamen Rider Kuuga (Decade Ver.)

It couldn’t have been anything else.

I could have gone for the FRS. That’s an amazing looking figure that would achieve pretty much anything I would want for a Kuuga and having the Amazing Mighty version, yea, it’s a fun build and a good figure. But because I have that, I can also compare it to this and say... oh my god I am happy I went for this.

When it’s my favourites, I like to go the extra mile and get The Premium version of it. That applies for OOO, that applies for Build, and it applies to Kuuga -- a really, really important show to me that I just keep on finding more to love about. So this had become one of my grails for a good part of this year, and hence when I finally got him in hand? Pure elation. I genuinely just couldn’t believe I was handling him, I couldn’t believe that I was so lucky as to have found him on my birthday, and for my girlfriend to help me get him! There’s illegal amounts of sentimentality going on with this figure, and like Momotaros up there; yeah, he lives up to the hype with Seihou’s over-the-top dedication to articulation and detail. I look at this figure, and this just IS Kuuga; this just is Godai Yusuke and does everything I could reasonably want him to -- so he’s quite permanently front and center of my second display, cos I don’t wanna stop looking at a figure this good and this important to me!

[wickedbarnes]

Forbidden Fruit (Pt. 3) | Keanu Reeves x Reader

Part 2

WARNING: Daddy kink/issues. Age gap. Smut (18+ readers ONLY).

NOTE: 2nd picture above is the picture of your outfit.

--

If Keanu was a good man, he wouldn't be doing this. If he was anywhere near as good as people told him to be he wouldn't be standing in the shower, letting the cold water run down his back while he had his calloused hand wrap around his own cock.

He wouldn't be stroking it to the thought of his girlfriend's daughter. He wouldn't be hissing and cursing her name underneath his breath. And he definitely wouldn't be fantasizing about her all the time. But here he is, teasing his twitching cock by swirling his thumb around his tip, whimpering at the thought of you being on your knees for him and just being the best girl by running your soft warm tongue on his thick length.

Keanu should be thinking about your mom. Not that he didn't find her attractive, he did. Your mom is very beautiful and there was certainly no denying you got your good looks from her but... Keanu already felt their relationship was reaching its end.

There just wasn't anything left to fight for anymore. They both lived in the same house and yet they acted like complete strangers. Yes, Keanu is busy with his motorcycle company and your mom is busy with her own job, but he couldn't help but feel as if your Mom no longer put the same effort in the relationship. It felt completely one sided.

But they had come to the agreement of trying again. Of trying to see if this would still work. So they had tried to go out for dates, tried to spend more time together and everything was going well so far. Keanu loves your mother, there's no doubt about that. But then you came in.

Not that he's claiming he loves you. But Keanu is certainly lusting over you. Your beauty and innocence is so refreshing to him. And the fact that something filthy hid underneath that innocence drove him crazy. He tried his best to distance himself from you, he really did. But something about you just drew him in. And he couldn't even pinpoint what it was.

So for today, Keanu has made the decision of going out and visit Arch, the company he had co-founded, finish what needs to be finished today instead of working at home. With your mother away for work, he wouldn't even know if he could control himself around you. Not that he didn't like your company, but deep down he knew he needed some time apart from you.

Once he got out of the shower after he just finished a sinful activity in there, Keanu began to dry himself off and began to get ready for work.

Meanwhile, after your interesting encounter with your mother's boyfriend this morning, you had decided to catch up with some of your old friends here in town since it had been quite a while the last time you saw each other. Thankfully, your boss was kind enough to let you get about three weeks off at work. And in all honesty, you deserved to have the break. You worked your ass off in order to have the chance to go back home.

It was already 11 AM and you had took the chance to start getting ready. Rummaging through your closet, you had eventually found an old flowy white mini dress that had cute little puff sleeves. You had completely forgot about this dress and immediately regret that you didn't pack it with you when you moved away. Thankfully, it didn't have any stains on it so you decided to wear that one since it was perfect for a weather like this.

After changing into the dress, you quickly did your make up, making sure you opted for a natural look before you let your hair down from your bun, letting it fall into loose waves. Once you did one last check in your mirror, you grabbed your black purse and shoved in your essentials inside before slipping in a pair of white sandals on.

You were going to meet up with your chilhood friends, Layla and her older brother, Landon who just came home from a business trip in Greece. You were very excited to see them again that when you got out of your room, you immediately collided with Keanu's body causing him to almost lose his balance before his put his other hand on the wall to steady himself while the other grabbed your arm to keep yourself from falling.

"Woah, easy there, sweet girl." Keanu chuckled and you blushed a light shade of pink from embarrassment before you gained your balance and stepped back from him a bit.

"I'm sorry, I didn't see you there." You replied sheepishly, refusing to look at Keanu in the eye after the conversation you two had earlier but it was so hard standing there when you felt his eyes on you.

Keanu took in your appearance and how... innocently tempting you look. The white dress looked so good on you and the fact that it stopped mid-thigh drove him closer to the edge. You looked like a delicate little angel and Keanu wanted so badly to ruin you then and there. To corrupt you like no one else has. But he quickly pushed those sinful thoughts away before he could actually push you up against the wall and devour you.

"You're going out, I see." He spoke after some time, clearing his throat in the process and you nodded your head, finally having the courage to look up at him and Keanu had to fight the urge to cup your face and kiss you roughly on your plump lips.

"Mhm. I'm spending the day with some friends. I'm meeting them downtown at the pizzeria." You smiled and Keanu seemed to perk up at the news.

"Is that so? I'm on my way to work and I usually pass by there all the time. Alberto's Pizzeria, correct?" He asked causing you to nod.

'Oh God, please don't tell me he'll give me a ride.' You silently thought but fate is never at your side.

"Lemme give you a ride, it'll save you some time and effort." He offered and you immediately shook your head causing him to frown a bit.

"N-No! No, it's okay, I can manage. It's not really that far and I don't want you to be late for work." You quickly reasoned out, hoping he would just drop it.

"Nonsense, sweet girl. They can't really scold me for being late if I own the company." He joked, causing you to widen your eyes a bit. You had no idea he owned a company.

"Wait, you own the company you're working at?" You saw the slight blush on Keanu's cheek as he averted his gaze to the floor and smiled bashfully as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Yeah, I do. I co-founded it with my friend. It's a motorcycle company called Arch." His answer caused you to look at him with amazement written on your face and Keanu chuckled at how adorable you looked.

"That's amazing, Keanu. How many motorcycles have you manufactured?" You asked, genuinely interested with the topic and Keanu's heart swelled in pride once he saw how curious you are to know how his company worked.

Your mom had never been interested with these kind of things. Although she'd listen to Keanu ramble about his love for motorcycles, he could see and sense her disinterest towards the topic that he would just eventually stop talking about it in front of her. He didn't want to bore her with a topic she's not bothering to listen to.

"Well, I can't really count it on my fingers anymore but if you want, I can show you the latest motorcycle we just launched. It's the one we're riding today." His words caused your eyes to lit up as a smile made its way to your face.

"Really? I've never ridden a motorcycle before, I actually want to try it but I don't think my outfit is appropriate for motor riding." Your pouted at the realization and Keanu couldn't help but let out a laugh at your expression as he shook his head.

"Don't worry too much, sweet girl. Come, I'll show it to you." Keanu nodded his head over to the stairs and you followed him down just in time for the door to open to reveal your Mom coming in looking tired as ever.

Your Mom's schedule had recently changed from day shift to night shift. And now, she just came home from work after going overtime. Usually, she'd be home by 8 AM but that wasn't the case today.

"Mama." You greeted softly and made your way towards her and kissing her cheek.

"Hey, baby. You going out?" She asked and you could perfectly see the bags underneath her eyes. She looked so tired. You nodded your head and stepped aside as she went over to greet Keanu.

You silently watched as Keanu dipped his head down and pressed a soft kiss on your mom's lips before giving her a quick hug. It seemed that Keanu already knew how tired your mother was that he immediately let her go upstairs so she could get some rest. But you somehow caught the flash of sadness on his face.

You weren't dumb. You saw how things between him and your mom seemed quite rough lately and you somehow felt guilty for lusting for Keanu behind your mother's back. You quickly looked away when Keanu turned his attention back to you. You two eventually made your way outside the house afted Keanu locked it, making sure no one would break in especially with your Mom at home all alone.

"Wait here, sweetheart." You watched as Keanu made his way to the garage and disappeared inside. You looked around and softly hummed a random song under your breath as you waited patiently for Keanu to come back.

And when he did, your jaw dropped at the sexy looking motorcycle that Keanu rolled out. His company logo plastered on the vehicle. You stepped closer and lightly ran your fingers over to the ride and Keanu stood there, silently watching you observe the vehicle he had proudly made with his partner.

"This is amazing, Keanu, it looks great, it's beautiful." You smiled and Keanu smiled sheepishly at your comment.

"Thank you, sweet girl. This is the Arch KRGT-1. It sounds great and it rides amazing. This one has different other colors of course but I chose to take home the black one." He chuckled.

"It suits you though." You replied causing Keanu to raise his eyebrows at your comment.

"Really now? How so?"

"Uhm... well, it looks sophisticated. It looks great for adventures, I take it you're an adventurous person. It also looks vintage in a way." You paused and looked into his warm brown eyes, "Fast."

Your last word caught Keanu completely off guard. He was old enough to know that was a secret code for something more. Fuck, you were such a huge fucking tease and he couldn't do anything about it although he damn wished he did.

You saw the change in Keanu's expression and how his eyes somehow got darker. His stare eventually got more piercing and you had to look away, gulping. Eventually, Keanu handed you a helmet.

"Put it on for me, baby." He gently ordered you, his voice deeper which made you press your thighs together a bit. He had no idea how badly that voice did things to you.

Taking the helmet from him, you put it on and secured it on place before you stepped aside for a bit and let him get on the vehicle. The sight of him on a fucking motorcycle almost made you fall onto the concrete floor on your knees.

You knew Keanu wearing a white v-neck shirt, jeans, boots along with a black leather jacket made him more delicious than he already is but him wearing that outfit while riding a motorcycle, you were thankful your panties weren't hitting the floor at this moment.

Keanu put his helmet on and secured it on his head before looking back at you.

"Hop on, baby, just grab onto my shoulders." He smiled and you nodded your head as you placed your foot on the footpeg before grabbing onto Keanu's shoulders as you swung your left leg over to the other side until you lowered yourself down onto the seat.

"Good girl." He praised, his lips tugging into a smirk and you were thankful you're sitting behind him so he couldn't see the blush on your face.

"Put your arms around my waist, honey." Keanu instructed and you immediately obliged as you wrapped your arms slowly around his waist and you somehow felt his body tensing a bit under your touch before he relaxed. Interesting.

"Hold on tight, baby. We're going fast today." You giggled at his comment and with that, Keanu started the engine and rode away from your house, smiling at the feeling of the wind hitting his face while your arms were securely wrapped around his waist.

This was the first time you had ridden a motorcycle and you couldn't believe you hadn't tried and done this before. You had co-workers who offered you a ride on their motorcycle passed up the opportunity since they had always got off before you did. You were happy Keanu had offered you to ride with him.

Keanu had even gone a little faster which caused you to squeal and playfully hit him on the shoulder and you could hear his melodius laugh over the noise of the busy street. You had eventually reached the pizzeria and you could see Layla and Landon waiting inside as they conversed with each other, they hadn't seen you yet.

As Keanu parked his motorcycle to the side, you carefully got off and took off the helmet he lended for you and gave it to him with a smile on your face.

"Thank you, Keanu, that was really fun." You giggled and Keanu bowed down his head for you.

"The pleasure was all mine, mi lady." He replied in a posh british action which made you burst out laughing.

"Hey, that was a great British accent." He says, his lips pouting and you had tried your best to stop your giggles and the sight caused Keanu's lips to tug into a grin.

"Never said it wasn't." You teased before you looked back at the restaurant, "Well, I best be on my way. Thank you for the ride, Keanu, I really appreciate it."

"It was no big deal, baby. Just gimme a call if you need a ride home, okay?" You blushed at his offer but nodded your head in response as you watched him start up the motorcycle once again.

"Drive safely, okay?" You said in a soft voice which made Keanu smile.

"I will, sweet girl. Have a nice day today. And be safe."

"Same goes for you." And with that, Keanu rode away with his motorcycle and you gave him a little wave which he saw in his side mirror.

This was a very good day for him.

--

It was around 10 PM by the time you got home and thankfully, Landon had brought his car with him and gave you a ride home. You had thanked them for a wonderful day before you had walked up to the front door and opened it with your keys.

Your Mom is already at work by now and you assumed Keanu is already asleep since he went to work today. You guessed he was just as tired as you are. Dropping your purse on the coffee table, you made your way to the kitchen to drink some water when you heard some noises upstairs.

After taking big gulps of water, you put the empty glass in the sink and carefully made your way upstairs where you heard the noises starting to progress louder making you freeze in place. It was Keanu.

You heard his muffled groans and his moaning and despite the fact the noises caused your cunt to go wet, you really weren't planning on walking in on him having sex with your Mom but that seemed impossible. Your Mom was at work and you didn't hear anyone else with him. Unless your mom or whoever it is with him is good at keeping quiet.

You took a deep breath and silently tiptoed your way to the master's bedroom where Keanu had made a mistake of leaving the door slightly open. You didn't know what you were expecting. Did you expect Keanu having sex with your Mom? Yes. Did you expect him having someone else in the bed with him? Perhaps. But did you expect to find him stroking his own fucking cock with his eyes closed and brows furrowed as sinful noises escaped his lips? Certainly fucking not.

This was a sight to see. It seemed that Keanu didn't hear you come home because if he would have, he would've stopped what he was doing. Or maybe... maybe he knew but he decided to continue.

You bit your bottom lip as you watched his hands go up and down on his cock, his thumb swirling around the tip of his cock, smearing the oozing pre-cum all over his shaft and you wanted nothing more than to run your tongue across it, wanting to know how he tastes.

You quietly pushed the door open more to get a much clearer view of Keanu pleasuring himself. You didn't know what came over you but you found yourself hiking up your dress and slipping your hands in between your thighs and teasing your folds over your white laced panties.

The noises he made caused your breathing to go erratic but what completely made you whimper right then and there was when you heard these exact same words that came out of Keanu's lips.

"Oh God, I- Y/N, doll, you're so fucking good, how are you so good, baby?" Keanu groaned as he cupped his balls with his other hand and threw his head back as a growl emits from his mouth, "Fuck, Y/N, you make daddy feel so good."

Your name. You heard your fucking name from him. He was moaning your name. He was masturbating to the thought of you. The fact made you whimper and Keanu's eyes immediately shot open to find you standing at the doorway, hand in between your thighs and lust swimming in your eyes.

You gulped nervously as you saw his dark eyes staring at you. Keanu knew he should get dressed and apologize for whatever it was that he was doing right now. Apologize for letting you see him like this. And apologize for masturbating to you. But he couldn't find himself to do it. Not when you were standing there in front him, possibly touching yourself while he was stroking his own fucking cock.

"I-I... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I just-" You stammered, not really knowing what to say as you pulled your hand away, embarrassment slowly seeping its way into your body when Keanu had cut you off.

"Come here." His words caught you off guard causing you to stop and stare at him for a moment.

"W-What?" You watched as Keanu smirked before he shifted on the bed as he sat upright with his back against the headboard, his gaze never leaving you.

"I said come here." He repeated himself, his voice gruff and husky.

"You knew better than to watch me, baby doll. You're such a naughty girl, aren't you?" Keanu asked, giving you a shit-eating grin.

Oh, you were fucked.

--

TAGS: @fanficsrusz @a-really-bi-girl @fan-wicktion @baphometwolf666 @mikaneonox @coloursunlimited @ficsnroses @autumnsoidier @paanchu786 @thatonemultifandombeast @glamorizedtrainwreck @keanuvibe @laura-doitnow-rememberitlater @lillytalebi @wiskey-chaser @jokersdoll

[vinylhazza]

ok but like having a really bad day and then when you get home e gets mad @ you for something and since your day has already been shitty, him being upset w you is like the last straw so you start to cry and then him being all soft and feeling bad bc he didn’t know you didn’t have a good day and he hates to see you cry 🥺

you’d been yelled at by your boss for something you didn’t even do. falsely accused of screwing up in a business meeting. and being the kind person what did you do? you took the blame for your friend/co-worker. you really took the slander with pride, but in your car? the tears wouldn’t stop.

you always aimed to impress and you loathed people being mad at you and being embarassed. in your opinion there was nothing worse. and maybe that’s the one thing you would fix about yourself and wish one day to leave behind - stop trying to please everyone and stick up for yourself.

the worst part is she never even thanked you, just watched you swing your purse over your shoulder with blushing cheeks when you briskly walked through the office and slammed your finger into the button in the elevator that was much too slow after what just happened.

you just wanted to go home to ethan and hold him until you forgot that disappointed look on your boss’ face while he lectured you on good work ethic. you were amazing at your job, really. you just stuck up for that bitch brianna for the simple reason that you didn’t want her to be mad. it was a lose, lose situation all around. but you would change your decision and re-do that conversation if you could - tell your boss she fucked up and not you. tell your boss she costed the company business with one of the largest corporations they’d ever worked with. but you can’t turn back time.

you kept your mouth shut until your slammed your car door shut...and then you screamed. at the top of your lungs. you bursted into a rage that had tears running down your heated cheeks. how dare that bitch look at you with a smug smirk - oh you wish you could smack that stupid fucking look off her face. you had worked your ass off to get this job, it was your dream.

you had jumped through hoops and built an image for yourself that you always wished you would have. you were well respected which is something you’ve always had to fight for. you showed integrity and grit - everything a business would want. and all you can think about is that horrid conversation about “morals” and “values” and “what you can do to fix this behavior”...he even asked you to persuade them to work with the business still.

it was a traumatic day and you just needed ethan to hold you close. you needed him to kiss it away and talk you down and take a hot bath with you and snuggle into the sheets, maybe hum your favorite songs like he does when you’re upset or anxious. you needed your man right now after this day. you just needed ethan.

but when you walked through the house and saw him standing in the kitchen, hands on the counter, head hung low, shoulders slumped, you grew anxious once again. he didn’t look happy in the slightest. you almost didn’t speak to him, near turned your sorrowful ass around and went straight back to the bedroom. but instead you set your keys on the counter, purse on the table, and walked in to stand beside him.

you can feel the tension hovering in the air, thick as molasses. when he looks up, his eyes show his emotion plain as day, angry. you’d only ever seen him angry on a few occasions, but it was never at you.

“you wanna explain to me what the fuck is going on y/n?” he deadpanned, standing up tall with bulging arms crossed over his broad chest. he’s looking down at you with this look...like he doesn’t even want to be here. like he wants to be anywhere else but here having this conversation.

you’re frozen in place. you actually can’t believe that 1. your boss was pissed at you and 2. the one person that could make it better is pissed at you. it was the world laughing in your face is what it was.

“no? i really don’t know what’s going on ethan i just got back from work-“ you try to stifle the fire with a calm voice.

“don’t give me that bullshit, i saw the picture,” his voice raising an octave higher.

“what picture ethan what the hell are you talking about?!” you’re panicking now, lost in a dark haze of confusion while he looks at you with that same disappointment in his eyes. with every step you take towards him, he takes a step back, not letting you touch him.

it genuinely feels like the world might come crashing down, your breathing shallowing out, knees getting weaker, eyes filling at the waterline. what the hell is going on here and what picture is he talking about? you are always either at work, with him, or with your best friend at all times. so whatever picture(s) he is pissed about must be a mistake.

“that’s real nice, play dumb. if you don’t want to be with me, then say something, but this? really? i really thought i meant more than that but i guess not,” he turns to walk away, shaking his head at you, disgusted by something you know nothing about.

and then the tears fall.

“baby i- i really d-don’t know what y-your talking about please d-don’t be mad at me whatever it is i didn’t m-mean-“ you hiccup, holding your palms to your face while you have your breakdown in the middle of the kitchen, legs giving out beneath you. you expect to sink to the floor, but instead feel strong arms wrap around you tight, keeping you standing and pressing you into into ethans chest.

he realized quite quickly he was dead fucking wrong about what he’d seen on the internet. he had jumped the gun too quickly without giving you a chance to explain. he never even let you get a word in. but that was irrelevant at this point because you’re gasping for breath in his arms, clinging to him like a lifeline. he had seen a picture of you with another man, a man that was cupping your face while you kissed. it had spread around twitter like wildfire with captions like:

“and to think he said she was the one last week”

“i done told y’all she was sketch”

“she’s a fucking cheater and i knew it”

“making our baby look dumb, y/n i just wanna talk”

“a whole ass 🤡 who would cheat on ethan fucking dolan?”

“guess that means we were right all along”

“you can even see in the picture she doesn’t feel bad about it. makes it even worse.”

“tHeY aRe mEaNt tO bE all of you look so dumb right now huh? clearly she’s a fake bitch that used him for the clout and the money”

“so who’s coming to fight her with me?”

“drop the adress i just wanna talk”

“this right here is why they don’t date 🤷🏻‍♀️ but y’all ain’t ready to talk about that”

it hit him like a ton of bricks, actually making him sick to his stomach, absolutely heartbroken. he loved you with his entire fucking heart, adored you and everything that came with you...but how could you do this? when was this picture taken? why would you play dumb when he knows you’re on the same internet he is, you can obviously see.

but...something wasn’t right. he knew that as soon as you broke down into his arms in a fit of hysterics, he was wrong and he could feel it. whatever and whoever that man in the picture is...he would hear it from you and you alone. the woman he trusted. but right now you needed him, so he rocked you in his arms and pushed his suspisions aside for the time being.

“shhh calm down sweetheart, it’s okay, i’m right here,” he whispers, kissing the top of your head, a hand rubbing your back while the sobs die down to sniffles. he waits for you to calm down from your breakdown patiently, feeling like nothing but a dick for being so harsh when he didn’t even know the full story.

when you back up to hold his hands, looking up to see his face soft and worried, you nearly cry again. you had no idea what was going on but you did know you needed him and needed him to not be mad at you. whatever you had to do to calm his anger or whatever was making him act this way, you would.

“wanna tell me what’s wrong baby?” he questions calmly, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear, bringing one of your hands up to his lips for a kiss on the knuckles, getting that tiny little smile out of you he loved so much.

“i just...had a horrible freaking day at work. i got screwed over and i’m worried it’s to the point on no return and i’ve lost respect at the one place i’ve worked so hard to excel at,” you mumble quietly, rubbing your nose and swiping the tears from your cheeks.

to have him being gentle with you is all you needed all day. you know you need to talk about that blowup he had when you came home, but for right now you’re taking what you can get.

“explain everything to me bubs, let’s go,” he tucks your hand in his own, waiting for you to slip your shoes off and hear the patter of your feet follow him across the house, down the hall, and into the bedroom.

“don’t you wanna talk about...whatever that was?” you’re so confused, why is he being so loving if he sounded that betrayed and angry? he was too good to you.

“we can talk about that later, now lay back against me and spill,” he rests back against the headboard, patting his stomach twice, indicating for you to rest between his legs and lay back against his chest.

you can’t argue with that when it’s been what you’ve longed for all day. so you slip your blazer off and toss it in the hamper, walk to the closet and grab the tshirt of his you always wear to bed and a pair of sweats to change into. when you’re done changing and have your hair in a messy bun on top of your head, you’re slipping onto the bed and resting back against his warm chest.

within an instant his arms wrap around you and you’re ranting feverishly about the day from hell. you explain everything from the coffee spill in the car to briannas fuck up all the way to the big boss man busting your ass in his office for nearly an hour. he’s listening patiently, nodding his head and humming, placing kisses to your shoulders every now and then, even a little “fuck her” when you really get going about briannas betrayal. he lets you get it all out of your system with open ears.

when your all done and tired out, you feel like the weight has been lifted and you can sink back into him further, your eyes closing and head falling back onto his shoulder. he rubs your arms all the way down to your hands, where he plays with your fingertips. within a few seconds he’s providing you with advice that is actually soothing you more than anything, explaining what to say to your boss and how. he’s assuring you that all hope isn’t lost and your respect is fragile but still intact, you just need to fight for yourself because you worked too hard to be made into a mockery.

he can feel you relax with every word he says near your ear, he knows it’s working. when he’s given you all that he can and you agree that it would be the best option to explain in full the misunderstanding and ensure your boss that no, it wasn’t your mistake but you are willing to turn the situation around because you have the skill to do so. a redemption so to say. it’s exactly what you needed to hear and it blows your mind that he always has the right words - well...sometimes.

“okay so now that we’re done with that...wanna talk to me about this ‘picture’ you saw?” you ponder, picking at a string hanging from the sweatpants.

he decides he needs to word things a little better this time now that he has a level head. he acted out of anger and pain and that is most certainly not what you need, especially today.

“i went on twitter this afternoon and saw a picture of you with another man.” there he said it. take it or leave it. what you say next will be what heals or breaks his heart.

he’s sort of surprised when you don’t tense up in his arms, you simply hold out your hand.

“can i see?” your gesture to his phone, remembering yours is still in your purse in the kitchen.

he nods silently, reaching for the device on the nightstand and setting it into your open palm. you put in your fingerprint and click on the twitter app, knowing what you’re about to see is obviously some big misunderstanding that (once again) got blown out of proportion and twisted into something it wasn’t. the joys of social media and stan twitter.

you immediately see this picture everyone is losing their minds over, knowing immediately how it might look. but you also know you were correct in your theory and everyone has it so wrong.

the picture is of you and your ex kissing, him holding your face, three years ago. your hair was the same color and length, you can see why there might have been some confusion. but it was still misconstrued and wrong.

“so?” ethan waits anxiously for you to say something since you’ve been staring silently at the screen for about three minutes now and haven’t said a word.

you know words hold weight, but backing up those words will mean more to him than anything. so you choose not the speak at all. you head over to little ole facebook, something you rarely use, but something that will ease his mind right here right now.

you log out of his account and log into one of yours that should have been deleted when you made your new account. you click on the “pictures” option and scroll until you land on a collection of pictures to go along with the one of you kissing your ex. you simply show ethan the collection of different poses of you two in the same place, smiling, serious faces, a cheesy “couples” photo shoot. you then show him the date the photos were uploaded, seeing his eyes widen and cheeks turn rosy with the realization that the internet, once again, flipped out for no reason.

“remember the ex that cheated on me with my roommate from college?” you speak softly, knowing he’s quite embarassed for his actions and making you feel worse on your horrible day. he nods.

“i’m guessin’ that’s cody” is all he responds with.

he just knew he was wrong. someone had found this public facebook and discovered these photos with your ex and plastered the one of you kissing all over twitter, instagram, you name it - it was there. they twisted the image and made it into something it wasn’t. they had made him overthink and become insecure, worried that you didn’t want him. of course you were loyal, you’ve never shown him any different.

“fuck i’m really an ass aren’t i?” he chuckles, throwing his head back and shaking his head in disbelief that he was dead wrong about something. what was he thinking? as if you could ever love or much less look at anyone else besides him.

“no honey, just...maybe let me explain before you immediately freak out on me yeah? i need conversation not accusations,” your tone soft and easy, knowing he feels bad.

“i’m sorry for getting a little mean with you,” he apologizes sincerely, hugging you closer to his chest and leaning in to kiss you on the cheek.

“it’s okay, i forgive you. we were both just a little frazzled today, that’s all. lack of communication can do that sometimes. the internet is a scary place,” you reason. this day has been one hell of a day, kicking both of your asses mentally. it’s something as simple as a picture taken out of context or a bad day at work that can cause a pointless blow up, but at least you know how to tackle these situations together and not point the finger until you know the facts. it’s growth and that’s never a bad thing.

but now you need what you’ve needed all day. you can tell he needs it too. all the crying, the frustration, the straining of your brain to comprehend the plethora of daily bullshit was exhausting.

“wanna take a bath with me bubba?” your tone hopeful. you know he’s comfortable, but you also know all the extra tension is cured with a nice bubble bath.

it doesn’t even take him but a second to nod with a fond relieved smile, tilting your head up to give you a kiss.

“bubbles?” he questions hopefully, standing you both up from the bed and pulling his shirt over his head while you remove the tshirt and sweats you just slipped on - you’d just wear them after.

“bubbles” you conclude with a grin.

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

Celebrity Crush

@shaonharryandpannisim​ and for anyone who wants to listen :)

TL DR; Of course it’s normal to have celebrity crushes and more than often it’s exactly what you said - admiration + healthy dose of ‘I will watch this project ‘cause they’re in it.’ BUT the other side is so toxic that it has permanently turned me off from having celeb crushes in general. 

Crush /krəSH/

noun

(informal) a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable or inappropriate.

Warning: The following is completely my opinion and please continue having your healthy crushes. It’s mostly why I don’t crush. Thanks to coming for my biased TED talk in advance.

I will be chiefly discussing Barun Sobti and Adam Driver. 

First Contact w/ Unhealthy Fandom

The first time I saw a man and went WOW that’s one really good looking person was Barun Sobti as Arnav Singh Raizada - ok he did look like a little baby for the first few episodes but then he does this backward glance while walking away from his love interest and I felt the intensity of the gaze. And of course, that’s the goal of the whole scene. 

So I jumped into the fandom, truly ready to discuss about how amazing he is BUT BUT BUT there were some very weird people out there. Like complete creeps to be honest. 

- The people who thought that Barun Sobti should have a ‘better’ wife. Like she isn’t “enough” or some shit like that. 

- People who think that he and Sanaya (his co star of IPKKND) are married / should be married / are having an affair - crap like that. Like people who can’t differentiate between Arnav Singh Raizada and Barun Sobti. 

- People who think that because they see him on their screens all day, they typically own aspects of his life and are offended by his choice of privacy. So they can pass opinions, think they are a better match for him or that he should be working on all projects solely with Sanaya? (I wanna see them back but please - not this way!)

Maybe I was searching the wrong places all the time but it’s so difficult to communicate wholesome admiration. I, never ever, want to hug/kiss/physically get close or even meet him ‘cause I’m a weird person (lol) and genuinely I’d always like to meet Sobti in the capacity of a friend / respectful fan than anything else. 

So I thought this was an issue that only was there with Sobti *cue lol hah*, no it just gets amplified with the bigger someone’s star status is. 

Fans Who Can Be Batshit Crazy

*enters* Adam Driver. 

Okay, I can wax out fifteen hundred poetries for this man because I am in love with his talent, dedication, skill and yes he does look amazing. In a lot of places he’s called the ‘sex symbol’ of the millennium and I would agree!

He’s a bloody good actor - I’d spend any amount of money to watch him. But like apart from worshipping his talent and being in awe of his physicality and thinking that the Lord took his time to make this man - yup, ends right about there. Do I imagine to be his wife or even have him physically close to me *ew no*? No. 

People who comment on the actor’s partner, their children, etc. I once found a weird comment where a person asked how would their child find their father/mother intensely attractive and having a great chemistry with someone else? 

Oh God... let’s not even begin there! For a child the parent is always the parent - ideally a lovable, protective, figure. Even if the parent is Hercules! 

Also Adam played a character who was sexually very, very active and there’s a bunch of people who CANNOT differentiate between him and his character.  

Again, some people who think they own him or can pass judgements on his personal life just because they see him in their screens all the time. 

The Good Fans

I won’t go into majority or minority because of course I don’t have any statistics! But then here’s a section of amazing and fantastic fans who have an infatuation and are very aware of everything and in fact laugh it off and don’t assume a sort of right over their choice of actor! 

So it is a bunch of people who are like “yum Driver is delicious!” or like “eyes, eyes Sobti’s eyes!” and THESE ARE THE SAME PEOPLE who would battle anyone who said that they should get different wives or shit like that. 

They truly love the person. For their talent, personality, personal lives and with a healthy dose of naughtiness. John Oliver’s segment on Adam Driver always cracks me up because, at the end of the day, it’s a joke :) 

These are the people who write excellent smut, and are very aware of the difference between the actor and character he plays, and are VERY RESPECTFUL in nature.

This bunch of fans wish they were married (in a completely hilarious, joking, way) to the actor, or had an intense eye staring (again, humor and silliness is the ultimate result), or at least danced/romanced their favorite actor.

Mainly, they love the actor, their characters, their families, their choice to be private and everything else! 

The Respectful Fans

They are not infatuated with the actor, but deeply respect the actor and are ready to defend the actor against the world. I fall here, I don’t feel romantically inclined to do anything with the actor but I do love them, with all my heart and soul. 

And maybe I would want someone to be the way the actor’s CHARACTERS behave. Or maybe have the actor’s qualities (presumed) of loyalty, kindness, etc? 

“Thirst Tweets”

I have a love-hate relationship with this because you don’t know if it’s a person who is a Good Fan with some excellent smutty thoughts or it’s a Weird Fan. Also it puts a lot of us into the assumption that the actor wants to hear it? 

And if it’s around promotions time then a lot of actors perform as their characters than themselves you know? 

Some actors absolutely revel in it and know how to deflect the dirtiest of tweets with their comments - they’re absolutely in sync with the thoughts *Henry Cavill’s reaction is the best, even Tom Ellis* 

And some actors, dear Lord, they are so embarrassed that they don’t know how to react, call out what’s weird but appreciate the sweet ones *Shawn Mendes*. 

If You Love the Actor, Love their Private Lives

One final note in all of this, if we love the actor we must love his/her/their choice of privacy :) Actors like Sobti, Driver are intensely private so that should be taken into consideration :) I find it weird when some criticize that. It’s their life, we love them, we should love the entirety of them! 

What do People Think About Crushes?

Sorry @shaonharryandpannisim​, I’m finally coming to your question - I don’t know. But because of my little, weird travels through the several kind of fans - I just feel the need to explain people what I have when I say I ‘crush’ on someone. 

That I genuinely love the actor, love their characters, can spend a few moments thinking that their the perfect creation of the Lord, if they played a character who’s single then would totally put my dibs on the character in the alternate universe BUT I HAVE NO REAL INTENTIONS FOR THE REAL PERSON. Please no.

Also, if they ended up being shitty people then I don’t care how handsome / talented the person is. They’re immediately out of my admiration list. 

But I don’t think you have to worry because we all know what a sweet crush means for you and for most sensible people <3 Even actors have crushes - Ranbir Kapoor for Madhuri Dixit, etc. 

Takeaway

If you’re sensible - CRUSH AWAY. Stay away from weird people. And generally people know what a genuine, sincere crush is so don’t worry (I might have just studied toxic celebrity culture in university too). 

Some people who I know on Tumblr who really know how to show appreciation: @m0hinii​ / @tellywoodtrash​, @ferociouspompom​ / @phati-sari​, @zaphbeeblebrox​, @arnavsinghraizada​ / @da-vinci-of-our-time-blog​ to name a few. 

Thank you,

Tata,

S / Jalebi.

[silverbastardgoldenfool]

Realm of the Quarantine Reread End-of-Book Questionnaire: Assassin’s Apprentice

Any differences between your first/previous reading experience and this one?

Uhhhhh yep!! I can’t even believe how different it was. Every scene has taken on an entirely different colour and flavour in my memory. I skimmed far too much the first time, yes, but also I just went into it with the wrong framework. I think I’ve mentioned this before but my mum recommended me these books on the basis of my love of A Song of Ice and Fire. She directly compared them and said how similar they were. Because of RotE’s length I had been putting it off for years, and only finally picked up Assassin’s Apprentice because I was itching to do an ASOIAF reread but was (and am) trying to wait until Winds of Winter to do it. 

So you can imagine the difficulty settling into a book like Assassin’s Apprentice when you’re expecting Game of Thrones. I remember my overall impression on my first read being that it was a pretty standard fantasy novel with the only really exceptional thing about it being the characters and their relationships. Characters are always my top priority so it was enough to keep me invested and progressing onto the next book and the rest of the series, but I did so not having absorbed nearly as much as I should have from the first book in the series.

Now, just from revisiting that first book, my understanding of Fitz and the world he operates in has exponentially increased and I know that will transform my experience of every book going forward. I really made sure to make myself slow down and read every word; absorb descriptions and just be in each moment without racing to the next one. Overall this book (and all the Fitz books) are much more concerned with the human condition and the effects of abuse and trauma and deep loneliness than being an epic fantasy. In fact it barely reads like fantasy at all; it’s incredibly grounded and focused. Of course the elements are there, but while Assassin’s Apprentice may not be as subversive as the rest of the series, it is certainly not generic fantasy. This book just feels alive to me now in a way it didn’t before against the rest of the series. I can regard it as a beautiful piece of the puzzle in its own right instead of just the setup. I wanna reiterate I always really liked Assassin’s Apprentice but it just paled in comparison to my unholy obsession with the rest of it. Idk this reread just really shifted a lot of things into perspective for me and I’m excited!!

Something you can’t believe you forgot

So so much but most ridiculous GALEN IS QUEEN DESIRE’S BASTARD am I dumb??? I didn’t even remember until it was explicitly stated lol

Favourite character introduction moments/scenes

It’s gotta be a tie between the Fool, Kettricken and Patience (realising there is a common theme here of Fitz making an idiot of himself). I genuinely was laughing so hard when Fitz is like, actively making himself smaller and so pleased with himself trying to help the Fool, and of course the Fool’s iconic “listen you idiot” ugh it’s just chef’s kiss baby, that’s what we in the biz call a meet-cute! (I know they have seen each other before, but this is the first time the Fool talks to Fitz). Then of course we have Kettricken who poisons Fitz at their first meeting, and Patience who Fitz continuously embarrasses himself in front of before even realising who she is. The fact that all three of these people end up being some of Fitz’s only genuinely loving relationships makes it even better.

Favourite character arcs

I think I’ve gotta go with Verity and Burrich. Verity goes from kind of a bloke’s bloke (he was so different in the beginning than I remembered!) to being a proper King-in-Waiting. He is self-sacrificial but not for pride; he genuinely cares deeply for his people, as a whole and as individuals, and will do anything it takes to protect them. He is far from perfect, and he could have done a lot more for Fitz when he was younger, but once Fitz is in his eyeline and he is confronted with the life the boy has led he seems suitably shamed and tries to do his best for him. He’s a good boy and I love him!

Burrich of course is just. unlucky. His health deteriorates due to injuries. He gets saddled with some kid and is burdened to bring him up to an impossible standard he has set himself (to not shame a man he has an impossibly high opinion of). He’s deprived of a job he loved and was good at, and most importantly he’s deprived of his boyfriend I mean lover I mean “master”.

His arc is not a happy one at all but it is compelling, and I can’t help but love him and feel for him despite also disagreeing with him on almost everything :)

Favourite quote/s

Unfortunately I don’t have any tabs atm so I couldn’t really keep track, but my heart exploded when Fitz said to the Fool after going into his room, “I wish I had a place that were as much me as that place is you.”

Favourite relationships

Fitz/Fool obviously. Even though they don’t have that many interactions in this book I loved every single one of them. The Fool volunteering to care for Smithy after Fitz has endured a long day of horrendous abuse is just!!!!! Kindness! What a concept! I could really see why they develop such a deep bond so quickly.

Fitz/Burrich is just so real and so compelling and it hurts me but I love it. Fitz/Chade breaks my heart bc Chade is manipulating his way into Fitz’s heart - I think without realising it a lot of the time bc he is lonely too, but the power imbalance is not okay when he is the centre of Fitz’s world for a long time and the closest thing he has to a friend. Knowing how Chade behaves not too much later just makes it even worse when he is so nice in this book because it just shows why Fitz has such a hard time being his own person and saying no to Chade ever.

Fitz/Verity for obvious reasons. Fitz/Hands!! They’re cute but it makes me sad that Hands betrays him in AQ. Weirdly I liked Fitz/Molly way more this time but more their friendship than anything. And next is Royal Assassin and their deeply toxic romance soooooo.

And Fitz and his puppies BUT WE DON’T TALK ABOUT THAT.

Favourite setting

Do yourself a favour and read the description of the Mountain Kingdom and specifically the palace. It is STUNNING and something I completely skimmed over the first time cos I’m a dumb idiot bitch I could have been picturing a city of huge colourful tulips all this time but fuck me I guess!!

Favourite chapter

As a rereader I think I’ve gotta say chapter one. There’s just so much to pick apart all crammed into one chapter. It still holds a lot of mystery even when you’ve read the entire series.

Most loved character

At this point I’ve gotta say Fitz. That’s who my heart is with during this book and he NEEDS IT

Most hated character

Okay I found Regal a much better villain on this read and hated him A LOT but whomst I despised even more w the very fibre of my being was Galen bitch disgusting!!!!!! Verity was so like, smug?? when he killed him and it was so satisfying. It’s what she deserves!!

Raise your hand if you’ve been personally victimised by Robin Hobb (most heartbreaking and/or visceral moments)

Literally this whole book was so harsh and I was perpetually emo throughout but off the top of my head, Fitz’s depressive episode after Shrewd and Chade test his loyalty fricking broke me, as did the entirety of Galen’s abuse/training; since I was paying so much more attention this time it hit a lot harder that he is an absolute textbook abuser and the psychological torment he inflicts on Fitz is just. deeply upsetting to say the least. It really got under my skin.

Details, observations, spoilery notes made with the benefit of the full picture

Okay this is where I just dump all the notes I took while reading that don’t fit anywhere else. It’ll be long lol so strap in.

- It’s never not funny to me that Narrator Fitz comes across as like a hundred years old when in actuality he is like twenty. Also that he looks back on himself with such a sense of wisdom and superiority, yet we know there is dumbarsery aplenty to come. Amazing.

- I’ve never really registered that for the first six years of his life Fitz had a mother who loved him and I don’t know how to feel about that

- REVELATION THAT SEEMS REALLY OBVIOUS IN HINDSIGHT: Fitz most likely only spoke Chyurdan when he was abandoned, which would have played a huge role in why he was not only quiet but unresponsive to what was happening around him. He probably didn’t even understand that he wasn’t going to see his mother again until much later, and he didn’t know how to ask questions. When he goes to the Mountain Kingdom and Kettricken comments that he speaks Chyurdan like someone remembering the language he doesn’t comment on it, so it’s likely that future Fitz doesn’t register that he didn’t always speak Six Duchies(?). He mentions in the narration that the memory of being abandoned is incredibly stark but not necessarily reliable, and possibly shaped by the Skill, which to me opens up the possibility that his memory is essentially auto-translating for him things he didn’t understand at the time. We also know that at the time of writing this he’s given up his memories of his mother etc. up to the stone dragon, so obviously his recollections of these traumatic events are going to be warped by that. Anyway thanks to my sister for pointing this out and being much smarter than me.

- According to Fitz’s grandfather, Chivalry always knew about Fitz. Don’t know how trustworthy a man desperate to yeet his grandson out of his care is but there ya go.

- Weird and hilarious that Shrewd tries to see Fitz on the day he arrives but then just like. What? Forgets about him? For years? lol

- Chade literally tells Fitz that he is a king’s man now and that’s the most important thing about him YIKES

- Chade becomes the closest thing Fitz has to a friend for quite a long time and that is fucking depressing

- It’s interesting that Chade had to be convinced to teach Fitz. It’s hinted at that there was an ~incident~ the last time they tried to train someone, followed by a long period of Chade being left to rot in the walls.

- Not to be out here diagnosing fictional characters but like.Fitz. Literally has depression.

- Fitz having to turn down Fedwren’s offer of apprenticing for him is so sad. It’s the life Fitz should have had.

- The Fool’s non-binary gender is mentioned as early as Chapter Nine! (Published in 1995! We have no choice but to stan!)

- “So quickly we were all made accomplices in our own degradation.” OOF.

- I really realised this time that the reason Fitz seems so shit at things he trained his whole life for later is because all that training was interrupted by many months of isolation, deprivation and abuse. All at the age of like 13-14. He got out of the habit of subconsciously acting in a way that Burrich or Chade would approve of. For a long time the only person he needed approval from was Galen, and he became completely single-minded about it because that was his means of survival. And you don’t just recover from that - especially since neither Chade or Burrich would give him the time of day for an extended period *after* his training was done. When Chade did finally talk to him again it wasn’t to recommence training really; he just gave him a bunch of tasks to do. By the time Fitz got to the Mountain Kingdom he was completely out of practice, and still managed pretty bloody well in spite of it.

- Kind of related to the last point: I love that while Fitz isn’t a savant at anything he’s a pretty realistic jack of all trades. He not only has an aptitude for learning almost any skill or subject but a genuine broad curiosity too. It’s one of the few things that is just him, ya know? It’s just his personality and something he can find joy in, even if it does also factor into his being used by others.

- Imagine being Burrich and finding out that your son thought you were a dog murderer for like ten years lol ouch

- Fitz thinks about the Fool soooo often in the Mountain Kingdom, pointing out things that remind him of him, or things he would like. It’s v soft tbh I love them so much!!

- Another dumb thing I forgot is that Regal is convinced that Shrewd had Fitz poison his mother to death, which adds a rather important layer onto his motivations lol

Anyone doing a reread feel free to fill this out! You don’t have to use the tag :)

[mythykl]

kirishima,, likes you??*headcanon bs*

**pouring love for my S4′s fav character:”))* 

disclamer- also I haven’t watched the recent 5 ep,, thus this is just raw canon,, bear w me.

how it started,, or one might call it some foreplay :))

seeing you after one year as you enter UA high two days before the school fest mADE hiM LoSE HiS sHiT. he had asked his mum to parcel the costume he needed for his performance perhaps?? instead, you brought it as a sweet surprise.

considerin’ the recent events, you began inquiring about his well being, but all he emitted was honesty, kindness and optimism,, seeing this ball of joy made you go cheerful as well

he almost forgot to introduce you, as he practically pulled you to his room to show you his Crimson Riot action figures,, that he had hidden somewhere??? 

you liked his friends,, except the one with violet balls on his head. you chuckled at the girls’ remarks as he goes on with his pervert comments. tbh, they didn’t expect him to have a girl friend, ya there’s a gap, but on recognizing you, Ashido practically pounced at you for a tight hug, even though you guys weren’t close in school, she was glad to have met an old pal as well.

secrets started unfolding that night during the sleepover, as you both talked till dawn, sharing memories, recent incidents and his cool ass quirk developments; including the recent mission/study program but we ain’t getting into that. 

one thing that for sure amazed you was his long ass training menu. Let’s not forget about the kanji signs saying, ‘fired up!’ and ‘manly spirit!’ you were a bit overwhelmed by them, huh,,

midst the exchange of meaningless insults, you vocalized his stupidly oblivious nature when it came to your obvious crush on him. his face lost colour as he heard that.

you clarified yourself by saying that it was a long ass one year ago,, but it didn’t ease the awkwardness. the heavy air almost crushed you, it was unfamiliar and then,, you go to sleep,,, ofc in your seperate dorm room. ya, it needs to be specified uk

you woke up pretty late the next day, and found no one in their dorm rooms. prolly went for preparations?? you just sigh and go off to have a bath and grab some snacks

shit lotta self doubt came your way as you basically slugged in the bed, scrolling through tumblr and basically chomping on any food in vicinity,

you lowkey start feeling that it was a bad idea to meet kirishima, and how he was better off himself. after refusing to get outta the dorm room, by evening, the guilt consumed your mind and you decided to leave without letting him know.

hun’ gotta pack her stuff now,, jk. you were in tears, cuz’ ofc, you were fucked. confessing was a legit bad idea, and staying there killed you inside,, but

kirishima walked in. he was there standing in his manly demeanour with a rose bouquet in his hand. t’was from class 1-A as a welcome gift. you could see how much he was taken a back as he saw you in tears, packing up you stuff.

you half expected him to just stand there and be his casual oblivious self, but he came forward and hugged you. he knew that you were a mess, cuz’ of that sudden confession. which reminded you of how intense and straightforward he can be at times. you close your eyes, and let the time pass.

he suddenly grabs you shoulder and moves away, as you keep you eyes on the ground. 

“look over here Y/N,” Kirishima wispered.

“no, I-I, I don’t know what to say- I mean this wasn’t supposed to happen, you love surprises and I-” sniff, “I co- meat.-”

“meat?” he asks with genuine curiosity.

“Oh- ohh shit! I forgot to give you meat balls.” You instantly look up as he starts laughing, “Shut up Eijiro, damn. I hope thay are-” but as you are about to walk towards your duffle, he pulls you towards him and-

behold the actual content lmao.

“were you going to leave w/o letting me know?” Kirishima asked

On hearing that, you visibly got uncomfortable, walked past him with you hands folded, “yes,” hoping not to get emotional,, as if prior crying wasn’t enough.

“I like you too,” Kirishima said immediately, seemed as if it was an accidental blurt. you took a rapid spin only to find that he was stern, dead serious. He walks forward and says as he closed the door, “I-I can’t keep this inside anymore. It wasn’t manly of me last night, to simply abandon your words. well, I like you Y/N.”

“ah,, wasn’t expecting that. that too in present tense.” you replied.

“yes, same he- I mean- I’ve been meaning to say this but- it was kinda hard.”

“Harder than fighting villans?” you chuckle.

“nope, i’m a hero, i got to do it to save people, as a symbol of peace and strength in society. but as a person. i decided to let my feelings die as i had to leave for UA high, if something would happen to me, it would only cause you pain. but I was wrong, you’re courageous and you had always inspired me to be strong and kind as a kid.I can’t keep avoiding this anymore.” yup those words, fuck that shit was the final nail to the coffin. 

next thing you know is that you run to him and hug him tight,, he kinda stumbled a bit but then held you back and submerged into the intimate moment.

you guys talk for a while, but then you reminded him that you gotta leave. he attempted multiple times for you to stay but u refuse, with the reason that you already told you mum that you’ll be arriving home by night. of course that was a lie.

now you think of all this in the bus as you travel back home,, i’m glad, you think. he finally knows. nothing is specified between you two, you know he isn’t looking forward to a relationship and you, you’re obviously hurt, but you aren’t unknown to the fact that you might only be an hindrance in the path to his goal.though kirishima and you have left this story on an unfinished note, you hope for a future together.

has been a while hasn’t it. lmao. expect more content soon;))

few previous headcanons i like,, 

If todoroki was ya freakin’ boyfriend (bnha)

Akaashi’s x Reader (haikyuu)

If bakugou was ya boyfriend (bnha)

orange,, part 1 and part 2

thanks for reading<3

[walkineternity]

Day 5: Gun Point

((Forever (TV 2014))

All in all, Jo had taken the whole ‘immortality’ thing rather well.

Henry had stammered through a rather confusing explanation, that jumped back and forth between subjects. He had been desperate to get her to believe him, the whole wild tale, but he had seemed to be sabotaging himself.

 Then Abraham, probably fed up with his dad, had decided that Jo needed more photo evidence and brought out some old family albums. Henry had the tendency to be behind the camera, so most of the pictures were of a young Abe and Abigail, but there were still plenty of pictures of him. Enough that Jo seemed to believe him.

 “To be honest, Henry, this explains a lot,” she had said, looking a little wide-eyed. “Its…its an amazing story, and I’m feeling…. a bit like finding out Santa Claus is actually real…but,” and here she paused to finish off her third glass of wine, “I can’t ignore the facts staring me in the face. There were too many coincidences and excuses that never added up. This…shit. This just fits.”

 Henry had been terrified to tell anyone his secret, let alone someone he…. cared about. It never seemed to work out. But Jo, bless her, seemed to recover from her shock fairly quickly.

 The wine, which was Abe’s idea, definitely seemed to help.

 The first week she had kept coming back with questions, eventually making a list and going down it like she was interviewing someone at her job. Henry humoured her, at first a bit reluctantly, but gradually opening up in the face of her earnestness and…well. He never really got a chance to talk about this sort of thing with anyone, and it helped that Jo, despite eagerness and curiosity, never pushed on anything he didn’t want to answer.

 Eventually her questions slowed down and then, to Henry’s surprise, he found that it was business as usual. Their friendship seemed stronger than ever and this translated into working really well together at work. Henry thought it was good before, but for the first time in a while, he felt…lighter.

 The others seemed to pick up on the easy atmosphere and that seemed to lift their spirits too. Henry had been so frightened…. but having Jo ‘in the know’, so to speak, was like having backup. He didn’t have to watch everything he said around her. He could ask her for help with more modern technology without feeling embarrassed. He could look at picture and tell her about a memory that it sparked, without changing details or worrying that she would think he was crazy.

 Abe was almost insufferable through this. It seemed every time Henry turned around in their home, Abe was shooting him a knowing smirk. Finally, Henry snapped and said, “Yes, Abraham. I get it. You were right about everything. I should have listened to you.”

 “Aw, dad,” he sighed, smirk softening into a genuine smile, not afraid of Henry’s ire in the least. “You know I’m just happy for you, right?”

 Henry never could stay mad at his son.

 So, naturally, just when Henry was letting his guard down, that’s when things went wrong.

 They had been trailing after a man named Justin White, 38, suspected of fatally stabbing his girlfriend in their flat two days ago. The evidence was overwhelming, and as soon as they found him, he had bolted.

 So here they were, evening, chasing the rather fit man through back alleys. Jo had told Henry to split up, to try to cut him off, but to let her actually confront him. Henry had wanted to protest, but she had already taken off.

 So, he went around and managed to actually get in front of White, but did not expect to be met with the barrel of a gun.

 “Stay back, or I’m going to blow your head off!”

 Henry barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes. How original, he thought sarcastically. Outwards, he turned his palms upwards in a placatingly gesture, and said, “Alright, Mr. White. I’m not moving. You don’t need to use that.”

 Jo had caught up when he was speaking and had her own gun pointed at White. “Justin, put the gun down now!”

 White whipped around to look at her, the gun still on Henry, but his next words directed at her, “I swear to god I will shoot him! I’m not going to jail!”

 Jo looked worried. Henry wondered why. She knew that even if Henry was shot, it wasn’t going to be permanent. He decided to remind her, “Detective! Arrest him! Don’t worry about me!”

 “Shut the fuck up!” White screamed

 Jo looked like she wanted to tell Henry the same thing, which was disappointing. He thought they were on the same page, finally. “You cannot let him get away with this. She was only 28, Jo. She didn’t deserve to be murdered by this man. We have to get justice!” And here he stepped towards the suspect.

 Jo and White spoked at the same time:

 “Don’t move!”

 Jo sounded worried and perhaps a little angry. White just sounded desperate.

 Jo looked at White and said, “Justin, just put the gun down. No one else needs to get hurt.”

 “I didn’t mean to! I just got so angry!” He cried. The gun wavered frantically. The man was unhinged. “I thought she was cheating on me! She just made me so mad! But I didn’t mean to, I didn’t!”

 Jo looked grim. Henry decided to speak up again. “You stabbed her sixteen times, Mr. White. That was no accident.” His voice grew an edge. “You killed her for nothing. You deserve to rot in a jail cell and we’re the ones to put you there.”

 He stepped forward again, but this proved to be the last straw for Justin White. He pulled the trigger, and shot Henry in the chest. Henry felt the impact like a punch, and heard another gunshot.

 He looked over at Jo in fear, but the small movement seemed to unbalance him and he collapsed onto the ground. Ah. There was the pain.

 The medical side of his brain started to catalogue the injury, and knew that he was going to die in minutes. He tried to breathe in, but he couldn’t seem to catch his breath. Getting shot never got easier. He was only trying to…he hoped Jo was okay.

 “Shit, Henry, shit!” There she was. Her face loomed over his, but he couldn’t seem to focus on any details of her face. She sounded upset.

 “I-It’s okay…. Jo, it’s o-okay. F-find Abe,” he couldn’t breathe. Oh, he couldn’t breathe. He hated this part of dying. He felt like he was drowning. It was most likely blood filling his lungs. “H-He’ll…. tell…y-you…” He felt wetness on his face. He wasn’t crying, was he? It was hard to focus. He felt Jo take one of his hands, and it grounded him enough to realise, no, he wasn’t crying.

 Jo was.

 She was leaning far enough over him that her tears were falling onto his face. He tried to reach up, but his body wasn’t co-operating. Blackness crept onto the edge of his vision. He felt so cold.

 “Jo, p-please…I….be b-back…w-wait…for me…”

 And then nothing.

 And then the coldness and darkness of the lake.

 And then he was breaking the surface and sucked in the sweet, frigid air.

 Henry started to make his was to the shoreline, where he could see Abe standing with clothes. Oh, thank god. He didn’t want to get picked up for indecency again. And…Jo was with him.

 He thinks back to tears on his cheek that weren’t his, and realises perhaps that he was missing something. Death and he were old friends, but Jo…despite knowing he would come back, was unused to such a thing.

 She had reacted so well, that in his elation, he didn’t think how awful it must be to be on the outside of it. To see a friend in such pain and not being able to do anything about it.

 He suddenly felt very, very young. Like a schoolboy waiting to see the headmaster. He could see from his position, getting closer, Jo had her hands on her hips. He couldn’t yet make out her expression.

 Yes. They…. needed to talk.

 For now, though, the chill of the water was setting in. The ghost of a gunshot wound throbbed in his chest, and he felt the strain of his muscles with every stroke.

 For now, he was alive. And loved ones waited for him on the shore. It was time to go home.