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theveryfires · 11 months

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10 things i hate about you | eddie munson x reader

an: hi there lovelies! Apologies that i have taken such a long break from writing. I have recently finished university and with my dissertation and essays i ended up having no time to actually write anything worth while! for those that have stuck around, thank you for your patience and for those that are new, hi! This is essentially the full version of my earlier piece titles 'crush' that i posted months ago! i hope you enjoy and as always if there is anything i can do better please dont be shy to let me know!

“What’s got you all riled up this time, Munson?”

Gareth’s voice felt distant, drowned out by the sound that had been distracting Eddie since he stepped foot into the cafeteria. His eyes were fixed on the table a few feet away from his own domain. Populated by the slightly more socially acceptable nerds, they would probably be cool in college. All dressed in the same thick knit jumpers, deep blue denim flares, wild hair. He squinted, almost wincing as the sound seemed to grow to a crescendo. There you were, one hand clutching your stomach, close to tumbling out of your chair, the other hand covering your mouth and completely useless at muffling your laughter. it almost bubbled, tinkling and pouring, coating the rest of the usual lunchtime white noise in a thick syrup like blanket. The air had almost turned to honey, and nobody else seemed to notice. Tears were sliding down your face, glasses seconds away from falling off your nose. Eddie’s chest felt cramped, his face growing hotter when your eyes met his for a brief second.

“Not what, dear Gareth. But who.”

Eddie’s rivalry with you was well known throughout the Hellfire club. Although his reasonings were not as widely known, not even to Eddie. There was no definitive motive, no moment in time that started all this distaste. He simply didn’t like you. You had been aware of one another throughout your time at Hawkins middle and high school. Something about you had always given him a headache, made his palms itch, his overall being sweaty. All of this coming to a head when you accidentally walked in on a extremely important Hellfire meeting. You had cut your hair, it was shorter and your glasses had glowed in the low candlelight. He remembered distinctly the way you tripped over your words as you apologised, the glimmer in your eyes as you mentioned something about fire regulations. Your voice was teasing, pulling him out of his seat when he abruptly stood up. It had kept him awake at night, plaguing his dreams for weeks on end. Of course you occasionally caught his deathly glare, but it always softened slightly. The usual cold brown some how warming. You had just figured he was glaring at the jocks that sat a two table’s over. Of course you were unaware of your rivalry with the infamous dungeon master. Totally clueless.

“Is this about Temple of Doom again man? I don’t get why you don’t just bring it up with Keith.”

Eddie couldn’t quite believe that you worked at Family Video. For so long it had been a place of safety and comfort, until he had walked in to find you sorting through the horror section and chatting away to Robin. You were chewing on gum, from the looks of the lurid pink it was watermelon flavour, his favourite. He had never seen you with your hair tied back, little strands falling about your face and practically begging to be pushed back behind your ears. Robin and Steve had actually got a bit worried when they didn’t see him every afternoon like usual, quickly picking up on the fact he only came in when you weren’t working. Eddie had been going in virtually everyday asking after the new Indiana Jones movie. He was convinced you had somehow figured out he wanted it, and cooked up some plan to keep it from him. But Steve told him the actual truth, that you had booked it for three weeks specially for Dustin’s birthday. “Personally i couldnt watch a film that many times but…well you know Henderson.” Eddie had nodded absentmindedly, his eyes glazed over with a strange look. “How does she know Dustin?” His voice had sounded strained, piquing Steve’s interest as he raised an eyebrow. “She’s his babysitter, his actual official babysitter. Has been since I’ve known the kid.” Eddie had only known Dustin a month or so at that point, but it did something to his chest knowing that you cared that much. He continued to complain to Gareth about you, of course…to keep up appearances. But something was different.

“What? Oh no that…thats sorted now.”

That was another thing that he hated, you were always doing stupidly kind things for people for no apparent reason. A week or so after mentioning the whole Temple of Doom saga to Harrington, Eddie had been, as he described it, accosted in the student carpark. He had just pulled up, giving himself five minutes before dragging himself to English where you would surely be already waiting. On top of everything you shared quite a few classes with Eddie, meaning he didn’t really ever get a chance of not being around you. He always knew when you were coming, the telltale smell of coffee that had too much cinnamon and not enough sugar intermingling with your vanilla perfume seemed to surround you. Drifting down the halls, clinging to your locker, english books, pens. He knew this because you often let him borrow a pen and a spare book when he forgot them. But that morning he was surrounded before he had chance to prepare himself. A blush had attacked his face, tinging his ears that luckily were hidden under his mop of curls when you appeared suddenly in front of him. Eddie had watched you eye the cigarette in his hand, caught in the way you inhaled a little deeper, breathed out a little slower. He was left illiterate, only managing to just keep his cool whilst he raised a ever bored eyebrow in your general direction. He had smirked when you sighed, rolling your eyes and shoving the box towards him. “Steve mentioned you were ‘hankering’ for this. Technically i still have it for another four days but…i think if Dusty watches it one more time the tape will break. It’s all yours.” You hadn’t even waited for a thank you, already turning on your heel and walking away. Leaving Eddie with his mouth open, cig caught on his lip and smoke tumbling out of his mouth. He hated the way you left him feeling, all red in the face, heart racing, like an idiot.

“So, what’s the problem?”

Eddie was certain he hated you, was completely convinced of the fact that there was a high chance of you hating him too. But after the past few months, after being forced to actually spend more than the usual minimal amount of time with you, hate didn’t feel like the right word. You treated Dustin like a little brother, actually all the kids clearly looked up to you. You were always on time for picking him up, but never complained about staying a little later. Eddie found himself loving those sessions more than anything, sneaking glances at you as you watched wide eyed at the world of Hellfire. But he had hated you, all through school he had found every inch of you irritating. From the little crop tops you wore in summer to the grandpa jumpers that appeared in the winter. He had hated you for the way you made him feel. Setting him alight every time you were near, making his stomach twist and churn when you caught his eye, god help him if you ever spoke to him properly. And yet…and yet all that was changing. He hadn’t even realised it until Erica had made a pointed comment after catching Eddie drooling over you during one of the later Hellfire meetings. “Are you just gonna sit there all goo-goo eyed over Dustin’s babysitter or are we actually gonna play, I’m missing a key episode of MLP for this yknow?”

“It’s…complicated.”

A few days prior, Eddie had passed you on your walk home from work. He had been driving back from a gig at the hideout, his headlights illuminating the downpour as he slowly made his way back through Hawkins when he spotted you. You were drenched, hair sticking to you face, clothes practically moulded to your body, shoes sodden and squelching on the pavement. At first he had just drove past, only making it a few feet up the street before he reversed back down the road. Robin and Steve had taken the afternoon off to take Dustin to some science fair with Mike and Lucas. Leaving just you and Keith to lock up. Usually you were fine with that, but it left you with no ride home as on that particular day your own car was at the garage. A perfect storm, resulting in you having to brave the autumn downpour on the thirty minute walk home. “Are you crazy?!” Eddie’s voice had scared you, nearly making you slip as you turned to see him staring at you wide eyed from the safety of his van. Eddie watched you turned your face towards the sky, a soft smile taking over the weak frown on his face as you basked in the downpour. “Possibly!” You grinned as you yelled back, an awkward moment growing with you only getting wetter as Eddie struggled to find the words. “Are you offering me a ride or not Munson? Not that it isn’t lovely to chat but uh…” He barely nodded but it was enough for you to run round and jump into the passenger seat. Eddie had glanced at you, frozen and suddenly unaware as to what to even say never mind do. He worried he had forgotten how to drive under your stare. “Theres…theres a spare t-shirt in the back if you…want a dry one?” You had forgotten all about your wet clothes after getting into the warmth of Eddie’s van. The shock of realising just how see through your white crop top had gone making you laugh as you happily accepted a new shirt.

“How could it possibly be more complicated?”

The whole drive back to your house Eddie had felt..strained. He could feel your eyes on him, the gentle burning of them making the van feel uncomfortably warm. Every few seconds he let himself look at you, his breathe quickly being stolen as the sight of you wearing his shirt. A ‘Corroded Coffin’ shirt to be exact. He felt like his head was going to explode, and then you started talking and that only made everything worse. You were trying to fill the silence, not able to bare the awkward quiet. You were rambling, a habit you and Robin seemed to share. Going on about work, looking after Dustin, the latest project for English, whatever film you and your friends were going to see at the weekend. Eddie was drumming his fingers, scrunching his nose and dragging a hand through his hair as he forced himself to focus on the road. A frown on his face that he had perfected for when he was alone with you. “Sorry, am i annoying you Munson?” You had noticed more and more that not only was Eddie not listening but he purposefully was ignoring you. He had done this a few times in the past, but never so blatantly. Eddie was weird, but you had also seen the caring and lovable side of him over the weeks he had spent with Dustin. So why did you get the cold shoulder? For a second those hardened brown eyes melted to chocolate buttons, glancing over at you as if finally caught in the headlights. “You were rambling, and I’m…im trying to focus on the road so we don’t crash. I dont really want to die with you in the car, princess.”

“It’s just…theres…we uh…there uh…”

The lunch that had been sat in front of Eddie continued to grow cold. Gareths stare only hardening as he noticed a strange glazed look coat Munsons usual death cold glare. Eddie replayed the night in his head. The silence that followed his use of ‘princess’ , the painful wince that had flooded his system as he realised what he had said. The look on your face when he had finally worked up the courage to face you. Your face was hard to read, blank almost whilst trying to process what had just happened. Eddie Munson. Eddie ‘the freak’ Munson had just referred to you as princess, whilst he was giving you a ride home, wearing his bands shirt and from the smell of it, it had been worn by Eddie a few times over. The rest of the journey was haunted by a heated silence that came to a grateful end when the van came to a stop outside your home. Eddie remembered you’re stutter, committed it to damn memory as if one day it would save his life. “Thanks for the ride Munson, I uh, well i guess i owe you one.” There was a cheeky tinge to your words, only made clear by the small smile you sent his way. “I’m keeping this shirt by the way…until next time sugar.” Eddie had watched you walk into your house, his hands gripping the wheel with the might of Thor. He could practically hear his heart in his chest, feel the blood rushing around his body. He couldnt sleep that night, or the night after. He couldnt even focus on DnD. All he could think about was that little smile, the way you fitted his shirt like it already belonged to you, how normal it felt to have you by his side.

“Theres been a disturbance in the force of something man.”

Gareth dropped the sandwich he had been happily enjoying whilst Eddie stared off into the distance. He knew all too well what that meant for Munson. The freak was in some dangerous waters. And if the stolen glances you had ben sneaking over at Eddie meant anything, so were you.

#stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #joseph quinn #dustin henderson #steve harrington #fluff #angst #robin buckley

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iratusmus · 1 year

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so bizarre to me when people give fiona a redemption arc like making her evil wasnt literally like the fundamental core of making her an actually interesting character. like . ok actually i was mostly planning on just leaving the post as this but im going to make a proper post whining about this because ive seen it far too often for my liking.

it appears to me that a lot of people do this because they dislike fiona/scourge which is like. sure i get it. but you could literally just... break them up . and have her continue being awful on her own. like scourge is not the reason she switched sides and i find the idea. 1) a bit misogynistic frankly but thats more of a personal gripe than anything else like god forbid a woman make bad choices of her own volition and not because a man forced her hand into doing it (YES i am aware that abuse makes this more complicated than that but also we .... already have a relationship in archie sonic that fits this exact bill. yes it wasnt written well but the wonder of fan works is that you can always make it better. so why are we repeating it again 1:1) and 2) demeaning to the point of her character.

like. ok. lets go over the facts real quick. as a kid fiona got put in robotnik's salt mines and got accidentally left behind bc sonic & co couldnt find her. she realized that nobody was going make the effort to go save her, so she dug herself out and started life on the run as a treasure hunter/thief. she didnt ever really accept the fact that sonic and mighty not saving her wasnt really their fault, and even after becoming a freedom fighter, nobody ever said anything or apologized or said "hey wow that kind of sucks you went through all that". she never really made any actual friends within the ff or formed any meaningful bonds. she starts dating sonic, but its pretty clear that the only reason they're dating is that she's his rebound post The Slap. the moment her history with bean & bark came up - after she used that knowledge to save everybody - sally immediately turns on her and sonic is the only person to try to stick up for her. as bark and bean leave, bean also insinuates that fiona isnt really a freedom fighter, and that she's still basically one of them.

fiona is a "bad" trauma survivor. when i say "bad" i mean in opposition to the ideal tumblr trauma survivor - the sad poor uwu bean whose trauma only inclines them hurt themselves and they become more sympathetic kind etc. as a result. fiona, on the other hand, blames sonic (whose fault this is, frankly, not) for her experiences, and becomes more jaded and mean. she has no real support system and people repeatedly tell her that she hasnt changed and that she wont change and she cant change. shes already got all this baggage by the time her relationship with scourge starts carrying actual weight - he's offering her a way out. if none of them are ever going to really accept her being "good", then she might as well just give into her worst impulses and join hands with scourge, who, notably, has no stake in this - he doesnt have any obligation to be her friend like the freedom fighters, and more than that he likes her specifically because of the part of her that everybody else hates. the important part here is that he encouraged her to switch sides, he didnt make her switch sides.

id say fiona's character in a writing sense is an exploration of the failings of the freedom fighters to support a trauma victim, and how those failings, while unintentional, lead that victim to specifically turn against them. she says "ok actually screw all of you guys" and gives up on trying to be good because nobody ever gave her any real encouragement and decides to put herself on a path of self-destructive revenge and inflicting her misery onto the general population. we can also recall at this point that this motivation is entirely removed from scourge and you can literally break them up and still keep her evil.

the other important point here is that she purposefully chose that path of turning evil as opposed to leaving the freedom fighters or going somewhere else or like literally doing anything else. she literally could have just left but she did not and thats what makes her Interesting. prompted by her unhealed trauma and personal baggage she made those bad choices for herself, and frankly i cannot for the life of me understand why people think that walking back that character development (and yes i mean character development. character development can also mean getting worse) for ..... what. snarky but with a heart of gold generic protagonist girl? come on guys

#besides what happened to not having enough female villains smh #archie sonic #fiona fox #iratusmus.txt

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2cmtall · 1 year

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voices lines

Context: using different voice lines and adding a small scenario/context to it.

A/N: aah, it's been a long while since I've posted! Not much to say other then the fact my consistency to write and stay motivated is non existent. My apologies 😅

Characters: Diluc, Kaeya

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Chat: relax The sun was beating down on you both, the heatwaves rippling near the ground as clammy sweat stuck to all parts of your bodies, though it seems the heat is affecting you more than Diluc. You've been trekking for about an hour and it's only in the last few minutes that he finally took his dark coat off, hanging it over his arm. But even with all the layers of his clothes, his thick red hair, and his fiery vision, his strong legs were still moving at a consistent pace, only ever faltering when he notices you slowing down significantly. He was so focused on getting to your destination, he almost forgot that you werent as adept to extreme weather.

"Y/n, it's in your best interest to try to keep up. We are almost there."

"gasp diluc. . . .doncha think . . . . W'should take uh break?" You could barely even get those measly words out, your head hanging low as you slurred your words together, your mannerisms that of a drunkard if not for the obvious fact that you were in the sweltering heat. Not taking the pressure anymore, you strayed off course and plopped down near a tree, muterring something along the lines of "screw this." You started instantly feeling better as the rustling tree provided much needed air and shade. Looking back at you, he sighed, ashamed he didnt see how bad you were handling the weather, and came to you offering his water as an apology.

"Guess we can rest for a bit."

For the next few minutes of the rest, he spent fanning your flushed face, which put you to sleep, causing you both to delay your trek further. This time though, when walking, he made sure to keep to a more shady area, and making sure that you take your necessary breaks and drink lots of water.

When it rains: umbrellas You and diluc were getting ready to leave Angel's share, it was closing time and you just got finished with cleaning the last table, putting all the supplies away. You couldnt hear the rain, as you were inside and too busy chatting with diluc, talking about everything and nothing at all, but when you opened the door for the both you, that's when the telltale cacophony of rain drops filled your ears momentarily halting your speech. You looked up at diluc in question, "should we go find some umbrellas?"

"I don't need an umbrella, but you could use one if you need." He said it as if it was simple fact that he didn't need one, but you felt bad, not wanting him to get wet just to be polite. "You know, if we only find one umbrella, we could maybe share it? I just dont want you to get wet."

You meant it sincerely, but your words and expression made him momentarily taken aback, though he recovered swiftly with an amused huff. Going to the back, he grabbed an umbrella for you, and shocked, you watched as he stepped out into the rain, steam starting to billow from where the raindrops touched him. They evaporated before your eyes, not being able to get him wet. It was an astonishing sight, one that made you burst out laughing.

"Ha! I guess you really dont need one after all, huh, diluc?" You smiled wide at him, making a small smirk emerge from diluc's lips.

"I'm afraid not, y/n. Care to join me in the rain?" His red eyes twinkled like a ruby in the night.

"Of course, diluc. Can't have you out in the rain all alone, now can I?" And with that, you joined him in the rain, still offering your umbrella toward him, your eyebrow arched toward him with a cheeky smile. At least now, he won't be steaming like a dish on a hot stove.

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When it snows- anecdote You and kaeya were sent on a small mission to investigate on some suspicious activity in dragonspine, to your utmost displeasure. No matter if you're used to the cold or not, dragonspine is a different kind of hell, as if the place of eternal fire froze over. Even now, when you and kaeya were well within a cave you found in shrieking excitement, with a blazing fire that crackled in front of you both, you were still shivering. The only thing you could hear besides the blessed fire is the chattering of your teeth and the howl from outside, the thought of going back outside making you curl in on yourself further. It was honestly quite pathetic how weak you were to the cold. Through the shaking of your jaw you mustered out, "this is so stupid. I dont know why anyone thought sending me here was a good idea." Your brow furrowed even further, deep lines of displeasure marking your face.

The sight made Kaeya lightly chuckle as he stretched his sore muscles, obviously making a show of how he wasnt affected by the biting cold. But underneath his teasing, his face grimaced at seeing your sorry state, wondering if you'll really be ok. Hes already given you his fur coat, to which you were vehemently gripping around your body, your knuckles white. So how about he distract you from your problems, he thought?

"Hey, how about a ghost story to go with the snow?" He marched his brow and smiled with his hand outstretched to you, as if offering you this suggestion in his palm. You blankly stared at him through the deep furrow of your eyebrows, "ghost stories? In the snow? Arent these stories usually reserved for camping out in the woods?"

Kaeya smiled, "well, we are technically camping, are we not? And it seems you need a bit of distracting. . . And who's to say we cant tell ghost stories in the frigid cold?" You pondered this for a moment, understanding that kaeya may have a point. A few points actually. You gave a small nod to his direction, giving kaeya permission to continue. "There's an abundance of eery tales surrounding dragonspine, would you like to listen? Though if you're interested, I suggest holding someone close to you. Wouldn't want to scare you too bad~" this made you squint your eyes in confusion. Kaeya was the only other person here? And how scary can these tales possibly be? You were about to call him out on this, your mouth opening in an inhale, but you choked the words before they could form, suddenly understanding. Kaeya wasnt looking at you anymore, your prolonged silence his rash suggestion making him look almost. . . Shy? You couldnt believe what you were seeing. And when you think about it this way, what kaeya said made odd sense given how you were practically rattling in the biting cold, and cuddling-no- being close to kaeya would allow for a bit of protection. And the part where he said you needed a distraction. He already gave you his coat and sparked a fire, and he couldnt so much as use his vision on you, so distracting my mind is the next best thing. Finally understanding his motives, you smiled cheekily as you stood up and plopped down snuggly between his long legs, his chest to your back. He made a noise and stayed frozen, as if processing what just happened. And for a while it was positively silent, with you shivering against him, and him not moving an inch, his breath fanning the top of your head. And then all at once, his arms wrapped around you and his head rested against the top of your head. Curious about the sudden change in him, you discreeting tilted your head up to try to meet his eyes, but could only see the underside of his chin. . . And his smile. A very simple smile, but it was the very reason that made your eyes widen in astonishment. You felt as though you were intruding on a private fact, so you tilted your head back down slightly, and disturbed the silence with a question.

"So, are you going to tell me your ghost stories or not? I'm holding someone close, just like you said." You heard him chuckle, his chest quaking slightly with telltale laughter, which made you smile broadly.

"My apologies for keeping you waiting. As the legends are told, dragonspine was. . . . "

When it snows- cold "What's wrong? Can't handle the cold?"

You gave him a cold side eye that even he shivered at. 'Y/n is quite the menacing one when provoked.' Kaeya thought to himself. You continued to glare at him, despite your immense shivering.

"Hahaha, I suppose not. . ." He gave a weak laugh, trying to look for anything that might dissolve your anger, but for a while all he could see was snow, bare trees, more snow. . . Aha!

"Lucky for you, y/n, there's a cave just a few steps ahead of us! Try not to turn into an icicle in the mean time~" you still looked cross with him, your eyebrows still furrowed, but you've lost some of the hard edge in your frown and your features were less drawn down. Now you looked at him expectantly.

"Carry me, please." Just with the mention of carry, his eyes widened back to you, only momentarily, before he got his composure back and coughed. "My, how very forthright of you! But. . . If you insist, y/n. I suppose Dragonspine has treated you too harshly. You can't help but have assistance from me, can you~?" He treated you with a teasing grin. A Cheshire cat, through and through. At his comment, you made a sort of impatient huff, to which he chuckled at. It's quite a delight seeing you act so childish, though he supposed he should help you, seeing as how you've been struggling to keep up for a while now.

Lowering himself down in front of you, he allowed you to climb on his back. You held on tight around his neck as he raised himself to his full height. He really did feel bad, ya know. Feeling you shiver violently on his back made him hold onto you tighter, lest you fall out of his grip. He told himself that next time he will use everything in his power to help you avoid traversing through the unforgiving nature that is dragonspine. Maybe after this he could take you to the beach, a much more pleasant place to be, he hopes.

#kaeya fluff #kaeya x gender neutral reader #kaeya x reader #kaeya x y/n #kaeya scenarios #Kaeya voice lines #kaeya x you #genshin impact #kaeya alberich #diluc fluff #diluc genshin impact #diluc imagines #diluc x gender neutral reader #diluc x reader #diluc x y/n #diluc x you #genshin scenarios

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spikeinthepunch · 1 year

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i have my 2022 art summary queued up and just want to ramble about the last year,... lots of stuff happened, good and bad! been a strange time.

i imagine most followers around have probably been here since late 2020 but 2020-21 i did art quite a bit, but the thing that really stuck for that period was i was super involved in warrior cats RP for some time-- i love RPing and these group also got me motivated to draw too! but i feel like i kind of wasnt around in the typical way due to how consumed i was in it. i dont think i need to go into detail of every month during that time, but it wasnt until early this year where i dropped it, and i didnt really publicize in detail why due to the issues surrounding it, but it was probably the biggest impact on me this year mentally, and in terms of art direction. and i feel like itd feel good to document this in a blog after it has now blown over- and why ive shifted my direction too.

i was very happily running my own RP server for just a year before i had to close it this year and it still makes me sad, as much as i moved on. ARP was like... a very big deal for me and i cant deny that. i dont have a lot of projects i get that into or get even close to setting off with its story figured out. i wrote well over 100 pages of documents for the world and the 6 planned arcs. i drew loads of art i couldnt even share until it closed (tbh im not positive i have shared it anyways bc i didnt wanna post it here). i made a website, i made riddles and code, i developed lore that was far outside of the warrior cats scope to it basically just being original!

truly i have never developed a project as far as i made ARP and to shut it down in order to save my privacy and past trauma from being further exposed in such an inappropriate way really sucked ass. a lot. it was a situation where there was no control given to me, no sense of understanding from the community. im not writing this out now to be pointing fingers and calling out names- just venting how it took a toll on me this year. what had happened with my server was that one of my own mods decided to dig into my profiles and found an old nsfw page, which even more indirectly led to an old flist, which exposed various things i was into around 17-19, reflecting trauma and abuse id been through (in it, voiced wanting to take part in certain kinks; ex. being a victim to violence and dubious consent scenarios). this information was at first presented as a threat to minors viewing my RP page (as in "ppl can see your nsfw profile from the blog!") which wasnt true/accessible as they said it was and required many many clicks to find, and then slowly revealed to me the people exposing this were in fact two of my own mods and was promptly cut off from explaining anything else as it spread in a private mod discord in the RP community. Which was worse to me than everything else that could have happened honestly, and i only learned this second hand from a person who saw it in that discord and thought it was horrible this information was spreading like that behind my back. in some ways things were okay-- i didnt get "called out" openly as i did my best to explain how these pages were not current to those around me, and that they had dug into some deep cutting trauma and a period where i wasnt getting any help to cope properly. it still didnt stop the fact i left every other RP i was in due to connections w those exposing it, and in turn closing my own. i dont want to say im thankful i didnt get called out publicly, but the damage was bad enough in so many other ways because i couldnt continue my server at all, and in the end people's obsession with purity culture in the fandom still made them deem me "bad" because i had nsfw accounts in any capacity. thats not a space i want to be around anyways...

ill forever be thankful for those who stuck it out to the end and witnessed the documents i got to share before closing it for good. but this was a HUGE part of my life for the last years of the pandemic, and i wasnt there for warriors cats- i was there for the people i knew, and the stories i made. i still miss RP a lot, and i want to host projects like that again after moving on mentally from that ordeal.

but my 2022 art summary shows a major shift that was 100% in part to disconnecting from wcrp. humans everywhere! seriously. for a solid few months i couldnt even bare to look at anything related to ARP. i didnt want to think about how i lost this story i developed so hard for so long.

honestly didnt really start drawing properly again until the summer- my art during my HL phase was very very light and very messy. i fell into a hard depression early summer and i only crawled out when i got into mcyt- and even then i was hiding it from this blog. i think i just needed to not feel like i was "online", because August included me joining a onceler RP and again, not saying anything about it. which Weehawken was the first RP thing I had done since i closed ARP too, and it was weird. not the RP itself, it just felt weird to try that again.

and it wasnt my favorite month, i just felt so tired and exhausted- that depression was kinda lingering and drawing a lot for an RP again was something i wasnt really used to anymore.

the past three months have been.... better? or i have at least enjoyed what i am drawing more. i think im far enough removed from what happened with ARP too that it doesnt weigh on me as strongly. i wasnt blaming myself for anything but it doesnt feel good when you know you have to kill something. we talked about recovering it, i had ideas, but i just knew it wouldnt be worth trying to with so much damage caused in my own self, and the impression that whole community left on me knowing people would willingly spread such personal information without question. having trauma exposed after going to therapy and relearning how to use the internet in a way that doesnt lean on trauma dumping and whatever unhealthy bullshit? its quite a blow. i dont make personal blogs like this often because i have good methods to deal with my shit these days.

despite this messy year im doing well. its been ups and downs. overall i know im far more confident in myself, i moved out to live on my own, and im just doing my thing. whatever bull shit happened this year, call out or not, i know im still just gonna keep doing whatever it is im doing. and heres to hoping i can bring a world to life like i did with ARP again, bc i really have a lot i want to tell and show and do.

#2022 art summary #art summary #if someone from wc is lurking and comes to my inbox to shit #i will snipe you on the spot

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travelingkai · 2 years

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Friends! Hi, hello, how are you? I hope this post finds you and hugs you. I have to admit, its been a year full of hardships for me. Going into 2022 I was not expecting to have one of the hardest years of my life. I have felt all the emotions this year. It’s been hard and to be honest, its been dark. I found myself feeling hopeless and lost. Nothing felt good and everything felt empty. This whole year has felt as if I have been hanging on to a cliff with one finger, just waiting to let go. I have never felt that kind of anxiety, fear, and confusion before. I am usually the one trying to figure out how I can self care my way out of this hole that I am in. But this year has felt different. I moved from a place that was my safe haven and home. A place where I was in a routine and loving the life I had made for myself. That was all quickly uprooted and I moved to a place where I had to rebuild everything I had worked so hard for. I thought it would be easy. I thought I was ready and I was excited to start a new chapter. I did not anticipate the grief, sadness, loneliness, and anger that I would feel after moving. It took me some time to feel those feels. When I moved I quickly threw myself into work and trying to meet all the people that I could. But things took a sharp turn and life started to feel empty and questionable. I was going from job to job to job to job this past year. It’s been the longest road to travel. I have not felt any motivation to do the things that I once loved. This blog that I hold so close to my heart has been neglected because I just couldnt find the words to say. Everything felt too dark, too empty, too much. But my friends, I can feel the sunrising in my life. I can see light at the end of this long dark tunnel. I am finding faith in my emptiness. I want to encourage any human that feels like there is nothing for them to hold on. I truly, genuinely did not think I could. But I have and now I feel that something beautiful will come out of this. The fact that I am writing this post is showing myself that there is a glimmer of light in every dark time. I am proud of you, proud of myself, proud of us. I am rusty with my words these days. As I said, its been quite some time since I’ve posted. But I feel back, really back, and better than I have been in a long time. So cheers to the dark times, there will always be light waiting for us. Merry merry, my good people.

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imddeonu · 2 years

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♡SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT♡

hellooooo lovely tumblr users😋😋 sooooo I've made a very big decision...

Im leaving🙀😿💔

I think it's pretty obvious I would've quit sooner or later since I wasn't active here anymore and have been taking quite a few breaks😪 I'm actually really sorry for that since I had been going away, coming back, posting, and then leaving again for a longer time. But despite all that I had a very good time here on this app, I gained a couple of mutuals,friends,anons, and followers💟💟💟 I'm grateful for each and every one of you!!! I'm also grateful for anyone that doesn't follow me but liked my writings and posts🥰🥰🥰 it was so much fun to think of new ideas and be able to write it and share it with people sharing the same interests, it was also fun to read your heart warming messages/asks and even those hateful one's, they're very...interesting🥲🥲 i loved reading some of others work too!! Seriously you guys are so creative and I never realized how much brain energy you actually have to put in to writing until I downloaded this app😅.

To conclude this I wanna say two things: I will leave all my posts up, for memories 😉 and who knows maybe one day I'll be motivated to get back on here and keep posting and writing 😚😚😚😚

And I wanna give a big special thank you to:

My lovely mutuals: @penny-quinn @nya-thecat @atsuwiee @tearryminunhinged @multifandomclown who sadly deactivated (or not idk it says they deactivated on my account but if youre not message me<3) AND IM SO SO SO SO SO VERY SORRY IF WE'RE MUTUALS AND I DIDNT MENTION YOU,I DONT THINK I HAVE MUCH MUTUALS AND I TRIED TO LOOK BUT COULDNT FIND ANY BUT I STILL LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOU GUYS 💟💟💟💟💟

My lovely anons: 🐣anon,🐉anon, and 🐌 anon

Maybe I'll come back, I hope it's soon. Goodbye keep doing what you do best💟💟💟💟💟💟💟

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crookedactor · 3 years

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DETROIT: BECOME BETTER

aka my DBH plot critique.

Disclaimer; this post mostly has to do with the plot and narrative of the story, and not the technical aspects. This is just what *I* think would have made the story more complex and interesting, and I will try to write it in a way that would realistically make sense for the story.

I of course am very thankful for the 200+ people who worked on DBH, because they made a wonderful game, and I couldn't imagine how hard it was. They aren't to blame for any of these critiques, mostly just David Cage. (lol)

And of course, spoilers ahead. I'll try to keep the major spoilers (like Alice's plot line) to a minimum just for good measure though!

Alright. Here we go. ⬇

(Also I'm sorry I don't have the option to do a "keep reading" button on my posts, so if you don't want to read this, you'll have to scroll for a bit since it's long. Sorry!!)

So first off let's go through each character's storyline, and outline a rough draft. Then, I'll expand on those ideas. After the characters, I'll move on to the overall plot of the story, (Which will mostly be the Pacifist, good route, since that's the one I'm most familiar with) and then maybe I'll do the minor characters and general notes. This is going to be a long post.

(((POSTS FOR EACH CHARACTER AND PLOT WILL BE SEPARATE. This is MY VERSION of Kara in DBH, and it's basically a complete reimagining of her character and the game as a whole.)))

First up, Kara.

My version of DBH would include kara being more central to the Android revolution. In DBH, her story arc is separate from Connor and Markus, and I feel as if that's the reason why some players find her section boring.

I want her and Markus to work hand in hand in some way for the revolution. In one of the original game trailers released around 2016 (?) It looked as though Kara was going to take center-stage in the plot. Maybe Alice wasn't even written into the script yet, because Kara seemed like she was on a solo journey towards understanding herself and other androids. It also seemed like they were going to use Tech Demo! Kara, and not the reimagined one that they ended up with in DBH. I really feel like Tech Demo! Kara was wasted potential in the game, because if that version of Kara was there, she most certainly would have become RA9.

As for Alice, I have no idea where she stands in this reimagining. If Kara would have been RA9, she definitely couldnt have time to take care of a child.

Maybe Alice isn't in this version of the story at all. Maybe Kara is on a solo journey of acceptance, discovery, and truth.

So, what would I imagine her new story to be? Well, Kara would have continued on her path that we saw in the Tech Demo, and most likely would be sold in stores. In the aforementioned Kara trailer released for the game, it seemed like Kara was tired of the typical, boring android life, and ran away to create her own story. This seems like a good place to go if we are sticking with RA9! Kara.

RA9! Kara most likely would have had an owner (someone similar to Todd, perhaps) who just didn't suit her. She would have escaped and be stunned by her sudden lack of care, especially after she promised to do no harm in the Tech Demo.

After escaping, she would be separate from all other characters until about mid-game. But, that doesn't mean all the times we see her until this point would be just filler. In order to keep continuity, I would still like her to meet ralph, because since she lacks Alice to teach her true humanity, she could more or less practice on ralph. (I know, it sounds demeaning lol) but it's true. Ralph is alone, scared, and VERY traumatised. Kara would be very eager to help someone like him, since she had been in his shoes.

This would be her first lesson in deviance other than herself. The beginning of her journey to becoming RA9. :)

I would also still like her to meet zlatko, and even Connor, in the highway chase scene.

Zlatko would remind her just how bad humans are, since she didn't have Todd do it. This would further motivate her to help other androids find peace and security away from humans, since she knows just how bad they can be. I would also like her first freshly-deviated android (other than ralph, who deviated before he met kara) to be Luther, but I'm undecided on whether to let him stay with her or not. Since this is HER journey of self discovery, she might do it alone. RA9 would most likely not want other people working with them, for a multitude of reasons.

She would meet Connor before Zlatko. Basically, it goes exactly the way the game plays it out, but we see it framed in a way that shows how afraid Kara is; 1) that she will get caught, and 2) that connor, an android designed to hunt other androids, has even been made. She is very uncomfortable with the fact that Cyberlife would do this, and she yearns to help him escape his programming, because he needs it the most. She is very empathetic, and this will further her desire to help other androids.

MID GAME: she meets Markus. I'm thinking she probably bumps into him while she's on the run from Connor. (Its been a few days, or even weeks, since the highway incident, but she's still very scared of getting caught.) Markus has been deviant, but has yet to find Jericho. I think that he could share the location of Jericho with her, and they can find it together.

Once they find it and explore, everyone asks Kara about herself. She tells them everything, and they are very surprised to find that she has been deviant all along. They had heard stories of RA9, but now it really seems like they've found out who it is. This is where RA9! Kara really starts to come into fruition.

She then will basically work as a consultant for deviants via Markus. He will take up second-in-command of Jericho, and Kara might take the place of Lucy, and even leader. He, along with every other android who chooses to come to Jericho, answers to her.

After this, Kara will go on missions with the Jericrew. She tells Markus what to do, and he does it. Everyone else (north, simon, and josh) help them immensely.

She also participates in the hyjacking of Stratford Tower. Markus stays out of this mission in order to free other androids around Detroit, (this is where he does the protest march, and Chris gets saved by him as told to connor by hank) and Kara takes his place in getting the Android message out to humans. They flee, and Simon doesn't get shot.

Maybe later, in between the middle of the game and the end, Kara is called to a meeting with kamski (however he would go about doing that. He's kamski, he can probably do anything he wants lol.) And she has no idea what it's for. She begins to think she's going to be shut down because of her deviancy, since she never knew that KAMSKI knew.

Jericrew asks her if she wants them to accompany her, but, like a true RA9, she says that she will do it alone.

When kara arrives at kamski's house, she's greeted by chloe. She is surprised to find that the other android is a deviant as well, and is just serving kamski by choice. This also will clue her in on how kamski feels about deviated androids, if he willingly keeps one in his house. This makes her suspicious.

Once inside, she waits until kamski permits her to enter his pool-room. Unlike Connor and hank's visit, she finds nothing peculiar about the picture of Amanda hanging on the wall, since she has no idea who she is. But, nevertheless, she still admires his taste in decoration. In my version, Connor and hank visit Kamski the day after this, because Connor is becoming more curious about Kara ever since he saw the broadcast at Stratford tower, and comes to ask kamski what he knows about Kara and deviancy.

Kamski lets her inside. He allows her to sit at a small table, and she waits for him to get out of his pool.

She is very anxious. Does he know about all the work Jericho has been doing? How would he know, he hasn't been there. But, he's the creator of all androids, he might find a way to know. Maybe Zlatko was right about the tracking devices after all.

He gets out of his pool and walks over, sitting down at the table. Kara is uncomfortable with the fact that she can't find any distinguishable emotion in the stare that he fixes her with.

I feel as though in this moment, kamski does not wish to interrogate her. He invited Kara over on terms of mere curiosity. He's confused, intrigued, and pleasantly surprised that a deviant android could have even existed for this long, especially one that has been deviant since the very moment of her creation. He wants to pick at her mind and find out her motivations.

Kara, not knowing his true intentions for her sudden arrival, decides to ask him a question.

"Why?"

I personally feel like this question has many interpretations, based on how the player plays the character. One interpretation could mean simply, "why did you make me come here" if the player chooses to be more cold. Another interpretation could mean, "why did you create me", and the last interpretation means, "why did you create me to be deviant" if the player chooses a more philosophical or even depressed approach.

If I'm going to be honest, I don't know how kamski would respond to a question like that. Its very open and ambiguous, and he is too unpredictable of a character for me to know what he might say.

Maybe he would say nothing. After all, he didnt call for her to come to his house so he could interrogate her. He just couldnt help but be fascinated at what he created, completely on accident.

He would most likely explain to her that her creation was partly an accident; he was younger, and didn't know the extent of his technology. But it was also partly his curiosity. Could a machine truly think for itself? Could it be alive? The inner philosopher in him was itching to find out, so he did it. Once he realized that machines could, in fact, have a consciousness, he began to realize that he was toying with living beings. He was playing God, and he didn't like it. That was actually, Kara comes to find out, the reason he left cyberlife and retired. The sheer fact that he designed a machine as a puppet that provided an answer to his childish curiosity ate him up inside, and he couldn't take it.

Overall, this visit with kamski is very illuminating for Kara. Before this, she never put too much thought into her creation; she always viewed it as a simple accident. But now, she would most likely look back at it through a philosophical or existential lense. What did it truly mean for her to be alive? What are the implications of technological consciousness?

This visit would not directly help her moving forward, but it would help indirectly or subconsciously. It would provide another layer of meaning to her work as RA9, and it would allow her to think about her motivations on a deeper level.

After this, Kara returns to Jericho and tells Markus to amp up the freeing of other androids. Since he can do it just by touching them, she instructs him to go to cyberlife stores and wake up all the androids for sale. This way, there are enough androids in Jericho for it to be attacked at the end of the game.

things go according to how it is in-game up until the moment when Connor gets to Jericho to kill Markus. In my version, he is also instructed to kill kara.

Kara and Markus are talking to eachother, in the same layout as Markus and North in the actual scene. Kara stays, instead of North leaving, and is there when Connor shows up with his gun. (In my version, Kara and Markus' speech about deviancy ALMOST tips Connor over the edge, but not quite. After this, he has a conversation with hank, and becomes deviant. More on that in my Connor post.)

So yeah. They have their conversation about deviancy with connor, but it doesn't end up with Connor becoming deviant just yet. Since, in the real scene, he deviates right before the police show up to attack Jericho, and I want this version to be the same (almost.) Kara and Markus are just a few seconds too late, and Connor doesn't deviate because the sound of the helicopters above them serves as a distraction. He escapes Jericho as chaos insues.

Everything goes as planned in-game, except without connor. Kara and Markus get everyone to safety, but only IF the player does all the quick-time events properly. Kara AND Markus can die in numerous ways in this scene, along with all the other members of jericrew.

Since this is the Pacifist route, Kara and Markus negotiate with the police. While Markus talks to them, Kara makes a small speech to the human onlookers crowded around in a last-ditch effort to gain sympathy from them. She talks about her personal experience with deviancy, and how it has changed her, and connects it back to humanity and how they aren't so different.

She ends her speech with a declaration that she is, in fact, RA9. This speech is the tipping point to win the Android war.

After this, I don't know what happens. Since there are secret endings depending on how you play the game, there might be a secret cutscene ending of some sort with her. Maybe she meets back up with Luther and ralph, or maybe her, Connor, and Markus meet up and talk together. Whatever it is, it's a happy ending.

Alright!! There's my Detroit: Become Human reimagining! I know I made a lot of changes, but I feel happy with them. Kara always was special to me, and it never sat right that she was left out of the main storyline just because she had to care for Alice.

As for Markus and Connor, I'll get their posts done separately, and I'll post them whenever I can. I know that the fandom is practically dead, but I'm still holding out hope that the fire can be rekindled some day.

Thank you for reading this incredibly long post! Have a nice day :)

#dbh #kara #dbh kara #dbh critique #fix it fic #Detroit become human #d:bh #detroit: Become Human #ax400 #RA9 #dbh markus #dbh connor #fanfiction #video game #ps4 #PLEASE tell me id i missed any huge events #i feel like i did lol #fandom #dead fandom

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wri0thesley · 3 years

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many many anons under the cut bc i didn’t want anyone to feel like i was ignoring them and i wanted to respond to u all! warning for small text too, it was so long i wanted to make it look smaller fgbnjkgkjn

Anonymous asked: NAT... you can write WHATEVER you want! It's your blog, and I hope that rude anons can learn to respect that. I used to be on your blog just for jjba content too, so when you started getting into jjk I was indifferent but eventually you dragged me into jjk so hard!! I already like bnha, so seeing you write for it only made me happier! I hope that you continue to write whatever make YOU happy:) ❤and yes, longer fics certainly doesnt mean it's better, quality over quantity

ahh i’m happy that you are here for all three!! i always feel so accomplished when someone is like ‘your constant screaming made me think about jjk <3′. all three of the fandoms are fairly popular and i tag everything v carefully so i hope people who do use the filtering find that useful!!!

Anonymous asked: Goodness gracious. People really be out there thinking they're entitled to dictating what kind of content you should be making

i think part of it might be that i do take requests so people feel like they have like . . . a certain right to certain kinds of my content? i take requests mostly bc they keep me motivated, i like making content for ppl who cant find what they want bc i’ve Been There, but maybe people think i am a pushover? idk i am just trying to have a good time!!!

Anonymous asked: Hi. I only started following you a few days ago but please ignore that rude anon. People are so fucking entitled towards writers it's insane. I recently had someone throw a fit for "spoiling" something in my fanfic, even though the fic was about a manga-exclusive character, so what did they expect?? Overall I've really enjoyed your writing so random assholes coming to guilt you is just a shitty thing that happens. Keep going with what you wanna do.

ah gosh anon i’m sorry about that :(. i’m always super careful tagging spoilers and stuff but like, if someone clicks on a fic about say, naoya or the steel ball run boys and is mad that i spoil something they havent found out yet . . . yeah thats on them fgbnkjgfkjn

Anonymous asked: That...that anon had the nerve to say "we". The fuck?! No no no anon, YOU'RE the only one talking and you're just talking for yourself, don't you dare try and lump us other anons/followers up with you to make yourself look like you're right. We love you nat and we appreciate you. It's your blog, you're allowed to write about whoever and whatever. This brain dead anon just needs to either go read someone else if they're that salty or write their own stuff if they're that impatient.

gosh i WISH some of my mad anons would just write their own stuff honestly. idk if this anon thought they were talking for everybody but i guess they expected anons to agree with them and not be mad at them. i appreciate u anon ;_;

Anonymous asked: Just want to say that ily and you’re one of the best jojo fanfic writers in my opinion 💗 I don’t think you’re half assing jojo fics and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you being multi fandom. A lot of jojo blogs have started posting about jjk so it’s not as if you’re the only one. I’m not sure why you get hate like this but I think it’s just because you’re one of the popular writers and that makes people bitter for whatever reason. Keep being you and posting about the things that make you happy 💕

honestly after so long writing for jojo - i’ve written well over 200 jojo reader insert fics - sometimes it feels like i’m retreading stuff, and that’s when i take a break bc i dont wanna half-ass stuff!!! i love all of my fellow jojo friends who are posting about jjk too, i appreciate them <3.

Anonymous asked: Hey my dude, ur writing has really grown since the jojo days and its better and awesome seeing u become happier to branch off and write in different fandoms 🤌🤌 those stupid anons are just boring farts that couldnt be bothered making their own content 😤😤 is it possible to block them to ease ur mind?

hello anon!! i run a statcounter for IPs but it doesnt always work for ppl who access through the tumblr app, i don’t think; a lot of the anon hate i get i just use the ‘block’ option, but last night got to me because i’ve been getting that kind of writer a lot which is . . . a bad look for the jojo fandom who are, as a whole from the ones i’ve interacted with, lovely!!! <3

Anonymous asked: People often forget, the person behind art or writing, is just another regular fan. You deserve to be happy with what you create and we should be thankful you share your talent with us. You also have right to change your main interests, and it's very normal thing. Jojo is one of the MANY things that you write for and all you get from that is a like or share. Its not your job. It's your fun thing to do, in spare time. You haven't betrayed anybody. That person was just rude, selfish and bored.

i am just a person doing my best!!! anime fanfic is one of many interests i have and i already devote a lot of time to it honestly, i love when people tell me they’ve enjoyed something i made bc it makes it feel worthwhile but equally it gets to me a lot when people are rude because i am usually trying my hardest.

Anonymous asked: Bro that jjba anon... the entitlement🤮 Fam, you write whatever you want to write😤 -Saturday

dfnjbkjnkgf i find most fic readers are NOT entitled at all and are just grateful but when they are . . . oof.

Anonymous asked: It's funny how people throw "we got you popular" and they think you start apologize and cry. Your writing and passion made you gain few numbers on a follow counter, nothing more. I think I'm too old for stuff like this, we are nothing more, but +1 on a number scale. You ow us nothing, we ow you nothing. Popular... Funny word. You just write for fun of it, fake scenarios about someone's manga characters. It's not that deep. Have fun and don't listen to people like this. I knew it's not that easy, but they are really not that important as they think they are.

extremely fun fact for people who think ‘popularity’ is important to me: i would 100% rather have 10 people who regularly comment, reblog my fics with tags and interact with me than 100 people who read my fic and either leave a like or simply move on. i think this is true for the VAST MAJORITY of writers tbh. i’m glad that people think i am a ‘popular’ blog (i am not in the grand scheme of things, one of my ex-best friends used to run a kpop reader insert blog with like 30,000 followers) bc it gives me an ego boost lmao, but i really just want people to read and enjoy the stuff i write!!!

Anonymous asked: I followed you a while ago for jojo and when my friends started getting into jjk i was like...eh sounds like work...but now that I see you writing for it I feel really motivated to get into it!!! I really enjoy your writing and I want to be able to read the new stuff too!

ah anon i really hope you like it!!! it’s only one season rn if u wanna watch the anime and there isn’t too much of the manga to catch up on either but it is a lot of fun and it’s nice to be in a fandom that’s like, excited about a new chapter and new plot developments every week!

Anonymous asked: Pls dont reply if u dont want to! <3 I'm not sure if this will be of any help to you or not but this is the kind of thing that often helps me and is the only way I know to try comfort others so I wanted to give it a go~

Now im not gonna say 'dont feel bad pls' bc I know that's not really useful but what I do think is useful is just discussing why that anon and many others feel the need to respond that way. As someone who follows a lot of writing blogs myself and have done for a long time, i've seen my handful of favourite writers come and go for different reasons, lose motivation for a while, gain motivation for a while, go from multi to single fandom, or single fandom to multi. Often times as a reader it can be upsetting when things change but it's also important as a reader to understand that some things aren't in anyone's control, I can't control what my favourite writers become a fan of or lose interest of, I can't control things in their personal lives that may motivate or demotivate them to write, but what I can do is support them as long as they're active, and if they move on to do things i'm no longer interested in or i'm the one that changed interests, rather than being upset that they're evolving to do other things or that they're not evolving with me, I think it's important that I still feel thankful for the works that I enjoyed while we were still on the same page and this is how I personally deal with those negative feelings. I think the anons that lash out at you probably just dont know what to do with themselves, maybe they got attached to your works while you were still only a jjba blog and now that you're evolving they're upset, while I understand how they feel, they're going the completely wrong way about it. I've learned to take these things and turn them into something positive for myself or at least something bittersweet that I can move on from but the anons that lash out at you for whatever reason probably haven't learned this yet. Maybe it's because i've moved on and changed interests a lot myself that I know how these things go for both writers and readers but those anons maybe haven't experienced this as much so they dont know what to do with themselves other than complain that you've changed and throw insults at you in an attempt to get you to revert back. None of this is because of the quality of your writing like they want you to believe, it's literally just because you've evolved and while some of your old followers might not like the new content for no reason other than it not being their cup of tea, it's definitely not regressed at all. You are pumping out a lot of content right now but every single thing i've read has just been better than the last. Things that really stand out to me is how well you get characterisation down to a T and all of your dialogue is just on point and from the pov of a reader I think those things seem the hardest to get right so I am such a huge fan of your stuff at the moment and I can tell you're really putting so much thought and care into each and every fic no matter how fast you're producing it, I think the fact that you're also proud of what you're writing at the moment really shines through as well and I just adore the passion that radiates from every completed request as well as in the responses for the subsequent thirsts resulting from these works that appear in your ask box later (I know i've sent quite a few by now~)

Just to be clear i'm not defending those anons in any way, while I can understand what they might be feeling/why they're reacting in the way they are I still believe it's just so immature to be hateful online point blank. Even during a time where I still got upset with writers if they started doing something else I still never targeted that negativity directly to the writer and sending rude or hateful comments whether on anon or not never something i'd stooped low enough to do even when I still had an immature way of thinking, however, I hope that it might make it a little easier to brush them off if we try and understand what they're really upset about, and that they're just putting the blame for their negative feelings onto the wrong thing rather than coming to terms with change themselves.

hello anon!! i appreciate the long message. i do feel bad for people who have no interest in what i’m currently producing and i get that they feel upset about it; i’ve watched a lot of fellow jojo writers move on completely or just stop posting, honestly. this kind of thing is why i was so intense about asking people if it would be better if i made a separate blog but the resounding answer seemed to be ‘i’m just vibing with whatever happens and i’ll block tags as needed’.

i often return to works by my favourite reader-insert writers who no longer write for the fandoms i like (and i read stuff bc it sounds interesting or i trust the person who writes it), but change can be difficult and i guess at this point i’ve - whether u like me or not lmao - been a fixture in jojo reader-insert tumblr for a While so it’s probably kind of jarring.

anyway i really appreciate you and the nice words! <3

Anonymous asked: hi nat! I just wanted to pop in and say that regardless of what fandom you write for, the love and care you pour into your writing and into interacting with followers who care about your work as well is really obvious. you're doing this for FREE and people should appreciate what you've given us so far, since ultimately this blog should be for you, whatever that means to you at any point in time. it's ok to jump fandoms! the important thing is that you feel good about what you're producing and that it makes you happy. everyone else is just a bonus - but, seeing you on my dash certainly makes me happy : ) I hope you feel better soon!

thank you anon! i’m feeling much better and happier today. birthdays are very difficult for me (i did not think i’d be alive at eighteen, much less 25!) so this event is definitely kind of a way for me to concentrate on something else, and i’m a little bit extra sensitive atm. i appreciate you so much, thank you for the kind words!!! <3

Anonymous asked: Hello! I just wanted to say, write what YOU want and make YOUR writings as long as you'd like. 💖 To the anon who is like "We mAdE yOu FaMoUs dOnt HalF asS iT" stfu, let people do what they wanna do. If you think they half do it, write something better and longer you asshat.

this is an open invitiation to that anon to send me a link to their writing blog and i’ll hype them up i promise <3

Anonymous asked: nat i'm so so sorry about that ask please know that your older followers don't share the same opinion :( sometimes people forget about the living, breathing person behind the screen smh. you are not a machine. you absolutely should not restrict yourself to posting about one fandom forever. yes, we're first pulled in by your amazing content, but we stay for your wonderful personality and work ethic. please just keep being you, taking up projects you feel comfy with! <333 bless u

ahh thank u anon! unfortunately i actually am a writing robot, i’m sorry u had to find out this way. my jojo chip has been removed, please send it back so i can continue to not half-ass my jojo work. fgnjkbgjkfn thank you so much angel!!! i appreciate you ;_;.

Anonymous asked: i don’t think it’s fair for other people to say shit about what you choose to write about because on tumblr and other writing platforms, writers are constantly developing how they write and the fandoms that they write for. it’s not fair for someone to criticize that “you don’t care about jjba blah blah blah” because you can enjoy new shows/manga. and like you said you’ve grown so much!! proud of you nat and im glad that ive been able to read your works (sincerely other nat)

i am STILL waiting for you to come and fight me other nat fgnjkbnf. it’s nice to be enjoying different things! i am constantly learning new things and reading new works and making new friends and improving and i think that’s important. i do care about jjba - a lot! but i can care about other things too! <3

Anonymous asked: I may not be one of your oldest followers, but i've been here for almost 3 years. Yes, i started following u for ur jojo content, but let me tell u, ur newfound motivation and enthusiam for other fandoms was honestly contagiuos for me. And i say this as a person who finds very difficult to move from one interest to another. Jojo is great, but so are other fandoms. Please don't let some faceless scum rob u that motivation. This is ur blog and u r always free to write whatever u want.

honestly, i have been there! i am autistic and i have special interests and watching other people move on to stuff i’m not vibing with has made me sad in the past, but i want people to be happy more than anything and sometimes that means new things and change! <3

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I saw that rude anon message & I just wanted to pop in & say that they're wrong. You're not betraying anyone & you should write whatever it is you want to write. I followed you for jojo & I'm not familiar with the other fandoms that you write for, but personally it makes me SO happy to see you enjoying new things! It's always good to find joy wherever you can, so keep writing what you're interested in. There a lot of ppl who want to see you happy and healthy <3

honestly the idea of it being a GRAND BETRAYAL is so funny, i am just writing anime fanfic here and thriving!!! tysm anon! <3

Anonymous asked: Those anons can piss off! They have no right to judge how long or how short your writing is. If they want longer content write it their damn selves. I think your writing has improved wonderfully and I originally followed for Jojo and I'm enjoying all the content period. I don't even watch jujutsu ( not my cup of tea personally) but I love seeing the creativity and the interactions. You write what makes you happy Nat and that's on that! You don't owe anybody anything! I know how hard writing is and when your consuming new content it's hard to make content for something else. That doesn't mean you don't like it any more your just doing something different for a while. Love you and your content and I'm enjoying the love your putting into your content whether long or short. ♥♥💕 Sending love your way!

honestly my idea of ‘short content’ is still over 1k words, i’m not good at reeling myself in! i guess it’s bc they see like, 1.5k jojo fic versus 5k jjk fic but it’s not that i didn’t enjoy the first fic, just that the point and the story came a lot quicker and so did the natural end! thank you anon, i appreciate you ;_;

Anonymous asked: Hello! Just wanted to let your know that I think your writing is awesome, and that you should write for whoever and for whatever you want to! You dont have to stay loyal to one fandom or anything, and your followers shouldn't expect that from you! It's not like they are paying you to write, you are doing this for free, and because you enjoy it and it makes you happy! If they dont like your stuff, they dont have to follow you, they can go to other blogs that cater to their taste, and they definitely don't need to be sending you such hurtful comments, and they dont get to make you feel sad about your writing! Just because they followed you during your earlier stages of writing, doesn't mean you owe them some type of loyalty or compensation! You can write literally whatever you want as long as it makes you happy! That's what your hobby and your blog are for! I hope you know that alot of your followers love your work and think that you are an amazing writer and are down to support the work that makes you happiest! 💖💖

ahh thank you so much anon!!! i am always so bowled over by how many people are nice to me when something like this happens, i am sending you my love <3

Anonymous asked: don’t listen to them!! we love you as a writer no matter what you write, because you’re a good person and a talented writer!! you shouldn’t have to change what you write to please a bitter person, and if they only want jjba, they can go to another blog instead of bringing you down. you’re doing amazing and they should be thankful you grace us with your talents!!

to be totally honest, if i was half-assing or not vibing with content i was making i just. wouldn’t post it. like you’d be able to TELL when i was half-assing stuff just to get words out (source: i have re-read my own nanowrimo works). there are lots of great jjba blogs who could do with more followers n interaction!!! i hope they do find them and i hope they’re nice to them :(.

Anonymous asked: Please don’t pay attention to that anon. People only have that confidence when they have anon turned on. Them looking through your blog despite feeling that way is peak fan behavior and speaks to how addicting your writing is. Naturally, you can’t please everyone and there will be people who are irrational and feel entitled to tell you what to do or what to write no matter what. Trust me when I say they’re a small minority and are more likely probably passing viewers rather than regulars. I check your blog about three or more times a day because I love reading not just your fics but also your takes, banter with other anons, or even random updates. Brainrot posts? LOVE TO SEE IT!!! Desk update? AMAZING!!! With that being said, don’t feel pressured to continue pushing out content for others. Write what makes you happy! You’ve been writing for JJBA for 4 years and it’s completely normal + healthy to get into new media. I’m not sure if it would mean much, but your love for JJK has gotten me excited to start it too!!

anon i really hope you enjoy it!!! sometimes these anons remember stuff i’ve posted and said better than i do tbh, i am living in their heads rent free i guess!

Anonymous asked: I've been following you for a couple of years and honestly it would always be a joy to see when you posted. Your writing has improved and I'm very happy you're enjoying yourself ! I know it hurts hearing and seeing stuff like that but I'm happy you're here. I'm honestly blessed everytime you post. Your writing is phenomenal. I love reading it even if its characters that I dont care for. You capture their essences so well and weave an amazing tale within the prompts and whatnot. You're amazing nat!

wehh thank you so much!!! re: the improvement, i really don’t feel like it has and then i re-read something i wrote when i first started and i’m like oh my god maybe it has. did i really write about jotaro acting like that.

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat. I recently became a follower of yours and I'm really saddened to see you get hate. You seem like a genuinely sweet person with amazing talent! I'm a writer myself and, unfortunately, get the same kind of comments. And when you get those comments, it doesn't leave you feeling motivated. People need to understand that people can and will, at times, grow out of fandoms. (1 Not just that but you're doing all of this for free. Again, I'm sorry you got such a comment. But please know that I'm proud of how far you've come. I'm proud that you're living a life that makes you happy. And no matter what fandom you may find yourself in next, I will always enjoy your writing. Take care of yourself. (2 end

HELLO NEW FOLLOWER I LOVE YOU (i get a lot more a day now than i used to and i feel guilty about not being able to look through so many blogs but i do try and follow back other writers for my fandoms!! ;_;). i’m sorry you get the same kind of comments! i’m always just happy to see people i like enjoying new things, even if i have no interest in it (hello to all of my mutuals who write for hunter x hunter and haikyuu, not interested but i’m sure you’re having a great time and i support you!!!).

Anonymous asked: I'm sure you're getting a barrage of supportive messages now (at least I hope so) but I figured I'd add my voice, because I'm a longtime follower. Your writing is, and always has been, wonderful. I've been so happy to see you and Haz get to a place that works for you both. Idk if it's obvious for everyone, but you seem like you're emotionally in a pretty good place most of the time these days, and it makes me really happy to see that. I followed years ago for JJBA content, but I stayed because regardless of what content you put out, I find your wit delightful. And I'll stick around even if you move fandoms entirely, because whatever content or editorializing you produce is going to be worth reading, regardless of what it's for.

ahh, anon!! thank you for sticking around so long, sorry if you’re old enough to have been around the vore and jorts and spider rohan fiascos! <3 i am definitely a lot more stable than i have been and - barring the Pandemic Related Mental Health Issues - happier! i’m glad that it’s noticeable! <3

Anonymous asked: It actually makes me mad how entitled some people are. Nat, you're not a content creating machine and those who expect you to be are not worth wasting a thought on. Your love for something is not measured in word counts and for you to write every day without getting burned out in the slightest you really must have a burning passion and huge dedication to your craft. If others decide to send hate then allow me to send admiration because I can feel your love and hard work in each post you make!

i try and write every day bc it’s super good for my little ocd/autistic brain to have routines and distract itself, so i’m glad other people can enjoy them because that makes me motivated to carry on! like, i write for myself mostly bc the content i want i sometimes get find, but filling requests and writing for other people also leaves me with happy warm fuzzies too! i appreciate you!! <3

Anonymous asked: If people only care about your writing for the jojo porn that’s on THEM, not you. Your writing was amazing when I followed about a year ago, and it’s only gotten better and will continue to get better! I think it really comes through when you enjoy what you’re writing and it adds a whole other layer of worth to it, because not only are you making free content but you LIKE that content and we can all gush about it together!!! More than just fans, I think you’ve created a community here and we don’t just stick around to read smut, I promise you that. -Reronon

i do miss having a discord community bc it was nice to talk to everyone in real time but it was hard work, i am glad that people feel like they can just come into my askbox and gush! i’m not very friendly in real life and people tend to think i am cold and stuck up so i work very hard to try and seem friendly and approachable online, which is much easier for me because i get to think and re-draft before i type! <3

Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I’m sure you’re getting a lot of messages like this right now but I just wanted to say for what it’s worth that, as a person who originally followed you for jjba content and hasn’t watched/read any of the other series you’re currently writing for, I’m honestly still along for the ride. This is your blog and you’re allowed to do what you want with it and put out what content you feel like writing. Sometimes??? People acquire new interests??????? Shocking! I know absolutely nothing about jjk or bnha but out of curiosity still read some of your posts about them and even though I might not Get It, I still enjoy them because I think you’re a very talented writer! Honestly, as long as you’re still writing, I’m still down to clown, and whenever you take breaks (which are important!) I’ll still be waiting for your return or supporting and respecting your decision to stay away longer. Don’t let the entitled assholes get you down. Utilize YOUR blog and YOUR space however YOU choose. Your talent and kindness speak for themselves. Love you!!! ❤️❤️❤️

anon i care about you and i am so appreciative of you and everyone for sending me such nice messages! i am running out of ways to say it but it’s true, it really does mean a lot to me ;_; <3

#nat.txt

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serpents-den · 3 years

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i think youre the only person who writes about snape fairly while still being a fan and seeing all the motivations that led him down the path. i was totally mindblown when u were on about lily and severus and how he wasnt obsessed w her but like she was his childhood friend and for a long time the only person who showed him kindness and affection and cared for him etc etc

i agree he was supposed to be misunderstood. snape is a red herring from book 1 when harry alsways thinks snape is evil and behind whatever problem arises that school year only for harry to learn from Snapes memories in ootp and dh that snape was not only doing the right thing but was bullied merclessly by his dad (i still remember feeling as shocked as harry felt when weve had everyone banging on about how awesome james potter was but maybe a lot of that is post mortem idolization?)

i see ur point about why he would want to make a name for himself. it makes sense w his slytherin ambition.

considering he was a halfblood (esp one w a muggle dad not just a muggleborn dad) he also wouldve had to make friends w the right people in slytherin in order not to get hatecrimed lbr. i dont see him as pathetic as peter pettigrew but damn the early years in his house probably sucked but yeah he made connections from people that would take him who happened to be terrible people. considering snape didnhave interest in the dark arts (which i dont think is him being evil but like dumbledore dabbling in all magic) that would have made him all the more welcome by the slytherins who grew up to join voldemort

idk if i agree that u couldnt be neutral during the wizarding war. i dont think neitrality would have protected anyone but there r definetly families that escaped mostly unscathed during the first war though that might be because jkr tends to write gryffindor V slytherin and forget the other houses and people in them.

feel free to ramble away!

I don’t think I’m the only Snella who writes him fairly but I appreciate the fact you think I do. I think that people tend to assume that the only love there can be between a man and woman is romantic and I hereby disagree. Severus and Lily themselves said they were best friends and if he did harbour that kind of feelings towards Lily, I do believe he would’ve changed for her (not like James supposedly did because he changed exactly nothing), would’ve fought harder or would’ve at least moved on.

I’m just fifteen so my personal experience of love quite amounts to nothing but I do know I have loved as sister, as a friend, as an aunt and perhaps not as much as a daughter or a lover but I’ve loved so far and I know how hard it is when you lose a platonic love, even if you haven’t talked in years, your heart recognizes them as siblings of your heart and it grieves.

Most of the feelings people expressed for James Potter were kind ones since the only person around Harry that truly disliked his father were his relatives and Snape. And most of those people weren’t at the other point of James Potter’s wand or wrath. You may not speak ill of the dead but you shouldn’t lie about them either. Most of the wizarding world loves him because he died bravely at hands of Voldemort, they love him because he died, they do not know him personally. Most people don’t know or simply ignore the fact he hadn’t always this war hero they deem him to be.

It certainly was a shock for Harry to realise Snape was right when everyone compared James and Severus to himself and Malfoy — Harry had assumed Severus had been the harasser, he had been wrong.

I’m not saying James and Severus relationship justifies how the latter acted towards Harry but I find it more disturbing how Dumbledore knew the man had never healed from wounds he let be infected while Severus was a student and still told him to teach, at Hogwarts, where he had more sad, angry and bittersweet memories than happy ones.

In my point of view, Severus Snape was never pathetic. Yes, he may had been bullied, he may had been the target for cruel pranks, hexes and jinxes but I would never say he was pathetic because he didn’t let himself be one. He was strong, stronger than most characters in the entire series, but he is only human and he has been shattered way too many times. But Snape was brave, and he loved more than anyone thought him capable of, and protected just as much. Crying doesn’t make you pathetic, and neither does having suicidal tendencies when you’ve lost the only person who truly was kind to you.

And I think I stand rather strongly on the fact you couldn’t be neutral. You either are okay with the idea of muggles and muggle-born being persecuted or not. You may have not fought, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t against what is going on.

Take the Weasley Family for example, they didn’t fight during the First Wizarding War and not because they were neutral towards what was really happening. They were against it but how can you step in the battlefield while having to take care of seven children? Since in Harry Potter they are countlessly mentioning “light” and “dark” magic you would think they would just throw grey in it, let people not partake in wars. But the light side looks at you like “How can you not be against people persecuting muggles?! You must be dark too with that shoddy heart of yours” while the dark side is like “Whatever you mean you are not against protecting muggles!? They are vermin! I bet you are a blood traitor too, aren’t you? Fancy to join the list of catastrophes this year?”. Because not only did they kill muggles and mudbloods, they wouldn’t have any problem taking out muggle sympathising half-breeds and blood traitors alike.

JKR (ugh) herself hates Slytherins but makes some “exceptions” I personally don’t trust her biased judgement at all.

#serpents-den's asks #hp #harry potter #pro severus snape #pro snape #severus snape #snapedom

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daaziscoolbesties · 3 years

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i yearn for one(1) thing only, and that is to have a nice, simplistic, cartoonish artstyle. an artstyle that doesnt rely on anatomy, but the "movement" of the drawing, if you get what i mean.

i dont want realistic proportions and traditional colors and basic poses and gradient shading, i want funky lil dudes in funky poses with funky styles littering my sketchbook :( but alas i havent figured out how to develop that kind of style yet, my brain wants anatomy to look nice but also i dont want to draw eyes. i dont want to take time out of my day to learn how to draw lips i want to draw a line that extends past the characters face. i dont want all my characters to have pointy chins with curved cheeks i want their heads to be round and friend-like or full of sharp edges depending on their personalities and styles. i want to give them all not-quite human ears, blob feet, simple faces, but at the same time i want enough detail to convey the story or emotion im trying to tell.

ive spent so much time recently agonizing over how to use 3d model websites, using real-life references and tracing over them for practice, color-picking from real images to try and do realism and failing miserably, but you know whats easier than that? funky little dudes. little dudes who do not care if their legs are too long or their hair is too bouncy. i dont want my characters to look human.

ive spent enough time on the artfight website to realize that most people who classify their characters as "human" have the most basic ass designs (no offense to people who like basic human designs its just not my thing) or its like dnd-medieval style outfits which i cant draw for the life of me (ive tried). again no offense to people who actively enjoy and draw characters like that. i just need my dudes to have that certain,,, off-ness to them. tails are cool. wings are swag (especially if they arent even like,, fully attached,, ), elf ears are so wonderful to me no matter how much theyre overused, horns are so much fun to draw, and colors!! i have no knowledge in the color theory department so this works great for me!! the only thing i really know is dont shade with black, other than that i just colorpick from references usually but i dont want to do that!! i want the colors to hurt people's eyes but in a satisfying way. like the character's design is so nice to look at that you dont mind your eyes hurting a bit. like how im enjoying writing this post even though its 2 am and the brightness on my computer wont go any lower.

and then another thing ive noticed from being on the artfight website is that a lot of people classify their characters that are anthro/have anthro features under humanoids/monsters. like i made a google form to find some people to attack and someone sent me in a character with some sort of animal (wolf? idk) arms and legs. like dude!! peak character design i love her. but me personally? i cant draw that shit, its so hard for me. i tried a while back and its just Not my thing. nothing against furries i just. cant. and i dont want to either.

and i got another submission that i accidentally deleted that was like full anthro/wolf-like like my comrade,,, i cannot draw animals what makes you think i can draw an animal who acts like a human lmao. i can do like. very basic tails, and also animal ears but i cant do the arms and legs and such i just dont know the anatomy, and i know i was talking about how i dont want to care about anatomy but i feel like for anthros you really do need to know at least basic animal anatomy so you know how the limbs look and shit and i dont have that knowledge and dont feel like gaining it.

and then there were some submissions that i absolutely adored. there was one that like, was vaguely human shaped but definitely was not a human. they had a dark-ish lavender colored skin and horns and tusks and like goat ears and a sorta fluffy tail with spikes on it and they had wings and such and they were such a pleasure to draw i love them. and they had a fairly simple outfit too, nothing too complicated. and then i also enjoy object head characters, theyre so neato to me. i got one of those and i really wish i had the motivation to work on it cause it looks so fun.

i want to make funky characters but id have nothing to do with them because the only book i ever tried writing (key word tried - never got past planning it out) had strictly human characters in it, and most of the books i read are humans/humans with powers in situations specific to them so id have no idea what lore to make with the dudes. assuming i have the motivation to make lore and backstory because honestly i just really enjoy character designing its super duper fun.

(side note a song about trucks doing the deed came on just now and its interrupted my flow, apologies).

i only have three actual characters right now. one is an original roleplay oc whos design is literally athletic shorts, an oversized long sleeved grey sweatshirt, long purple hair, and demon horns. the second one is my persona whos design some sorta medival knight outfit kinda thing? but not ugly it looks really cool (idk one of my friends designed it bc i won some contest from him but the drawing was on a super small scale so idrk the details,,,) with a plague doctor mask and crown, and shoulder length wavy brown hair, dyed bright pink at the end. and then my last one im not too comfortable using other places because theyre a character my friend is using in the story hes writing, and thats really the only place theyve been used. but theyre easily my favorite and im already writing a ton so ill talk about them too.

they're a sorta elf species thing from another planet, with pale green skin and pointed ears. they also have a tail, its like,, super thin, but with a feathery bit at the end. probably not the texture of a feather but i dont know how else to describe it. they have short, curly, almost-draco-malfoy-blonde hair that when it gets too long they can put in a man bun. their eyesight is kinda shitty so when they got to earth, they were exploring some supply closets around the airship. drop off area. thing. like airport but for rocketships and also fancier. yeah. they were exploring that area and found a nice big pair of round glasses with grey frames. and they also found a cowboy-style hat and a sharpie so they wrote their name on the underside of the brim of the hat and stole the hat and glasses (but left the sharpie in the supply closet).

yeah theyre my favorite, my absolute beloved, my child, so cool. i want more characters like them but with maybe a bit more snazzier designs. theyre super cool and all but they could have more pizzazz if they werent in a story where its too late to give them more pizzazz. i just want to be able to give my characters thigh-high boots with a bunch of buckles and fluffy hair with tons of accessories crammed in and abnormally large and long ears that can harbor many piercings and horns that can hold rings on them and special little details on their outfits like who knows what but i dont have any characters to do that too, so i have to make them from scratch, which is always hard especially when you have artblock.

and i also have like 17 characters i need to fully draw, line, and maybe color for artfight before august 1st. so i dont know. i have many things to do and plenty of time to do it but instead i spend my time halfway watching repetitive youtube videos that get boring or sleeping all damn day because i stay up too late doing things like this or i just do nothing at all and its tiring and frustrating but i also feel nothing about it like theres no consequence if i dont do it besides you know. not doing it, not gaining that experience, not making something i enjoy.

so i should do it but i dont for whatever reason, i think its called executive dysfunction but im not sure. this post started out very differently than it ended and i said somewhere up there that i was writing this at 2 am but now its almost 3. this is so many words why couldnt i have put this energy into something productive

#long post #sorry its so messy but like i said its almost 3 am and i dont want to go back and format all this #i might come back and make it look nicer in the morning #maybe not who knows #i just checked and this is 1.5k words what the hell

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aerugonian · 3 years

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hm ignore how i dumped a bunch of words at the end of the last one idk how to write cohesively.

just remembered another character who appeared for like two lines and its that kid who was recused by katoshi during the exam. who was he... what did he think about about his mysterious savior!! i guess it couldnt be that long of a piece to write about that kid but i do think of him and the other 3 reccomended students. i dont actually know who the others are besides momo and shouto sjdjf

do katoshi and erasermic talking about katoshis vigilante stint after the first year?? is it a comfortable subject to joke about (for erasermic)?? katoshi has all these scars and :( idk i feel like maybe they should Talk about it.... katoshi has become attached after all :')

!! also what could have happened at usj if it had happened?? since the event has passed i assume its ok to ask but i do wonded about it. what could have happened?? how would have katoshi reacted, how would have mic reacted, how would have aizawa post injuries if they would have occured reacted!!! aaaaaa for an au of going back to canon for a crossover canon divergence fic theres so much there... katoshi could have said 'fuck it my DAD (didnt) die (for the third time wtf) so im going to kill lov.' or he could have not!! theres a lot of branches of what could have been if usj had happened.

the canon recommended students are todoroki, momo, yoarashi inasa (who got first place overall but rejected the application), tokage and honenuki (in class 1-b)! all of the ones katoshi raced against were non-canon characters, though. it was pointed out to me in the comments of that chapter that while I thought there was no hard number of recommended students there actually was... but it was a little late to change it at that point. so in rtn there are six accepted recommendation students instead of the canon four. whoops.

they don’t talk about it as much as they probably should, mostly because katoshi was initially very closed off about any inquiries into his past and/or motivations. he’d answer more if they asked now, though he’s pretty good at not giving the answers they’re actually looking for. katoshi would joke about it if he thought it would be funny but erasermic’s response would vary depending on the joke - what katoshi thinks is amusing is not necessarily something others would find funny.

there are two drafts of USJ that were written before things went the way they did! one where he ended up in the water zone with izuku and tsuyu (though I scrapped this one pretty early on) and another where he ended up in the fire zone with ojirou. I might post those someday if I ever feel like finishing them as alternate universes / what-ifs, not sure. the sharingan would have made an appearance though because as much as he likes his secrets he’s not going to risk lives to keep them

#there's a total of around 4.5k words between the two usj scenes #before i was like nahh he would totally open the file cabinet #katoshi: the rules are more like guidelines #asks

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macklives · 4 years

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hey so this is gonna be a long-ish one. ive decided its been far too long since i did a session, and we did so many i can often forget what happened. i started in july and im pretty sure its been more than half a year now since this whole blog happened. and in that time, we’ve gone through 88 sessions and i want to know if i remember the relevant plot points and what we got up to in the last few sessions. a refresh/reminder if you would.

so i hereby commence my own little recap of act 5 because yeah no, its too much to do a recap of everything and i have andrew for that after every few acts. but i wanna refresh my mind on act 5 for now. so here we go.

1. alternia.. fucked up place. but its a place the trolls live on so what are we gonna do about it? overthrow the government? seems about right, lets do that with the next troll that gets introduced and if its not kanaya idk what andrew is doing by not having introduced the best troll yet. why the long wait? it was the second introduced? i honestly expected it to go in order when i first read act 5, because first we had karkat talk to jade which was the first new piece dialogue in the comic besides the main kids, but then we had kanaya with rose, which was followed by tavros, then terezi (iirc). so id assume we were following that order but nope karkat got fully introduced, then this random fucking juggalo called gamzee made its way into the comic. imagine my surprise.

2. theres been terminology throughout act 5, that i do not fucking know and will not remember and probably never will. like tf is a perigee again? i made a doc somewhere ill probably find it.

3. karkat’s introduction... short but very sweet. and by sweet i mean we got to know the depths of the angry edge lord. and by depths i mean karkat got angry at gamzee for typing in a way that he didnt like so he yapped like a chihuahua. nah, but seriously, i do like karkat tho, hes growing on me but only bc hes a bitch baby and his whole personality makes me want to mock him so thats the reason im not that annoyed and think hes funny, and the most harmless troll. even more so than tavros. and thats saying something. 7.5/10 bc im generous.

4. then gamzee... the high juggalo troll who has the worst typing quirk imo, i cannot for the life of me read it. but hes chill, i actually really like gamzee. hes funny and the least problematic as of right now. 8.5/10.

5. terezi’s introduction next i think. she likes playing as a lawyer with her stuffed dragons, ie by roleplay, shes blind, can see through licking, and she likes eating chalk, maybe its even nutritious. shes good. 9/10.

6. uhh in the process of these intros, there are teams being made? karkat joins gamzee and terezi in, i THINK, the red team?? bc terezi likes red?? could be wrong, i dont remember the teams except that its red/blue to represent sollux’s duality in those colors. terezi then tries recruiting AC but AC is like lol sorry i have to ask this friend of mine who has authority over me for some goddamn reason and terezi goes yuck tf i hate that guy................... yeah thats all we have on the teams. pretty sure sollux had smth to do with karkat about the making of the leaders, and they did the “i hate me” and the “no i hate me more than u hate u” or whatever the fuck that was. they got embarrassed afterwards and deleted their messages. im pretty sure they have no messages because everything ends up being mutually deleted so their logs are actually empty. ngl, kinda enjoyed their convos, made me appreciate their characters. i hope we get more because its good content. i also dont know what order this whole thing is in, who contacted who first? couldnt tell you. ill remember later on. and since im basing this off from memory alone, gotta deal with what i remember. uhhhh so yeah. we havent met all characters yet so the teams have not been officially decided but we got the bases, which is that.

7. god i found it, and the only thing im looking at right now is the terminology list i made and what the fuck?? what the fuck?? you miss a few weeks and suddenly the word nubslurping comes up and you forget what the fuck youre reading.

8. im PRETTY SURE aradia is seen after that whole team fiasco?? or its sollux... maybe. wait. its sollux, right. i just knew someone gets introduced mid way through is all. actually, someone gets introduced after every 20 pages. i have no idea. but ik aradia and sollux go hand in hand.

9. oh shit. OH SHIT! RIGHT! I REMEMBER! so this occurs in the latest session i did, and not the beginning of act 5, but AG and aradia team up, right?? and sollux fucking gets manipulated by them and ??? idk??? they make him find the game, reprogram it and then make him believe its going to end the world (which in hindsight is true, but anyways) so he refuses to play it which was AG’s plan all along so she steps up and becomes leader in his place. but aradia says sollux will still play the game no matter what, but she never went through with the plan for AG but it was apart of a prophecy? that sollux wouldnt be the leader at all? that he’d still play? but it had to go according to plan so it could succeed??? we just dont know why yet. anyways, point being, she still cares for sollux since she did it for him rather than for AG. and thats what i recall. god tf i forgot about that whole drama until writing down “sollux and aradia go hand in hand” which gave me violent flashbacks to the memory.

10. oh and id give aradia 9/10 and sollux 7/10. i do like sollux but if i put him higher than karkat, id get crucified. so im keeping them around the same.

11. man i really like sollux and aradia tho, i may have put him at 7, but i really like their dynamic and i really hope they make up and aradia explains herself about AG. because from one side it looks shitty. and while sollux is rude and never makes up his mind, he apologized to aradia after going off, and that was the only time ive seen him be sincere, so im pretty sure he cares for her to some extent. and i think its somewhat mutual? considering the whole “did it for him” thing. man, i see potential because i actually like both their characters. theyre well written. may not have the best personalities, but i appreciate well written characters and homestuck has the best ones ive seen in a while.

12. oh shit, hell yeah, the more i write, the more im connecting the dots and remembering. however, the more i write, the more i want to just make an analogy post but thats not for now. jesus christ its not all about analogies, mack, this is a recap. but.. how does andrew do it? to not go off track??? hard. telling ya.

13. anyways, didnt we break the fourth wall at some point and have the demon gods or whatever the fuck speak to us in third person for the first time in the comic, after having only gone into second person narrative, right after we were introduced to sollux and his “virus”? the uh, the phrase “the demon was already here” was said, or something along those lines. first line in homestuck to give me the creeps ngl and i appreciate it bc it gives me motivation to know what the fuck its about. its cool bc you have no idea where its going and it sure doesnt have anything to do with the current plot, since the trolls’ session/game doesnt have fucking demons so im curious as to what the fuck that was about. and if i really have to make a theory, i feel it has something to do with aradia’s voices in her head which also connect to the gods rose heard when she started disregarding rules and told dave to look at derse without listening to music bc it was as if he was purposely blocking away their calls. like holy shit, that gave me the shivers. while i do want to know more about wtf happens after act 4, trolls are taking priority right now. just like we did with the intermission. no discussing the kids unless necessary. treat this as its own separate comic. and THEN we can connect.

14. ANYWAYS, tavros’ intro???? that comes afterwards?? with the fiduspawn that made me gag a little on the inside? yep. remember that. fuck that lol. -1/10 but tavros himself is MAYBE a 6/10? i wish we explored his character more in his intro bc right now he just looks like a character made only to be a victim rather than have any depth and i feel thats robbing someone of their full potential. give me more personality andrew, rather than a quivering boy who falls prey to bitches. im expecting more throughout the comic honestly and i hope he gets growth so hes not looked as a “victim” but rather his own character. he is still sweet, and i like him because i want to protect him, but id rather have more info, you know what i mean?

15. oh hell. kanaya had a chainsaw at some point. that made me happy. and didnt she cut off tavros’ legs?? and he got robot ones? and some creepy dude was looking and we called him saggy tits bc hes sagittarius? right? neat. that did happen. pretty sure saggy tits is ACs friend that tells her what to do. the more u know. OH and they all have colored blood similar to their text colors lol. that i remember... so tavros has brown, terezi has blueish green, um. karkat has grey the loser. and apparently it forms a rainbow which is nice. rainbow is good.

16. i dont remember anything else actually

17. wait no i do. AG appeared. shes a petty bully. idk what to say about her. we didnt get that much, except that she hates tavros but is okay with aradia. she also looks like a bottle opener. actually, i think she teamed with aradia to gain leadership rather than to “be friends”. and while that is similar to how karkat did it, meaning the gain, the motivation and how they earned it is entirely different. kinda seeing a trend tho. the leaders of the red/blue teams are both characters who wanted the role, but never had it to begin with. only to win their way into the position. but rather than ask non-stop like karkat did, AG manipulated others so she could be successful. not too sure if she also used aradia for that, or is actually motivated to become friends since they were “past enemies” and she needed a rebound. pretty sure its somewhat both. while AG did mostly use aradia to speak with sollux, what she doesnt know is that aradia is a bad bitch who never even thought about AG and only followed through with the plan bc she had a plan of her own. i guess we’ll look into that later. i lowkey want to know their history.

18. OH AC!!! she appeared for a second as well. love her. shes amazing. 9.5/10. and you may ask yourself, why am i saying “i love this character” but none of them are 10/10?? weellllll its because, and i cant stress this enough, 10/10 belongs to kanaya, i dont make the rules. im waiting for her introduction, shes my favorite and its obvious. sorry.

19. oh huh seems i forgot about the term “lusus”. which.. is.. their parents but not really, its these fucking weird ass creatures that the trolls fought in a cave or something as a child. i dont fucking know. terezi hatched hers and it died? gamzee’s also died but his goat sea dad was never really there to begin with so while it is sad, its more sad that gamzee never saw him? um.. karkat killed his own by exploding his computer bc sollux said dont run the virus and karkat said u cant tell me what to do and did it anyways. so thats on him. but apparently theyre supposed to die, to become prototyped during the game, right? yeah. i remember now.

20. thats.. about it? idk anything else, nothing is coming back to me apart from the shit above. huh.... im surprised how quickly things do come back to you the moment you rant about the plot tho.... handy trick.

cool. neat. fun. this took me too long. but im glad i remember a little bit.

#i wanted to catch u all up on this #but ill most likely do a liveblog tmr bc i was bust today unfortunately apart from writing this out #bc this took priority for better understanding where i am rn #maaaannnn #writing wears me out #i love it #but its tiring the fucking bitch #so im in need for deep sleep #wish i could do more smh #welll #goodnight :)

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m4isofia · 4 years

Text

The very last semester

I don’t know how many times I have typed for this post.Technically,I had finished composing the entry but accidentally deleted the tab without saving it to draft....but first let me tell you guys how much i have put myself in the past yesterday just to recall everything to make this post feels very nostalgic.I try my best to put myself in everyone’s shoes because I want everyone to know how much we struggled for spm last year.SPM year was one of the best years for me like I want to repeat all those times again without sitting for spm OF COURSE cus I swear it was tiring as heck.

Nonetheless,please excuse my grammar mistakes as I have barely write anythinh now so I kinda think that my writing skills is getting rusty.

I don’t remember the exact date we started our final semester but all I know is,we were struggling for trials.We kinda made our teachers proud for trial right? mrsm tpg was below us and I can’t help myself but to remember how proud cikgu masyitah was when we managed to get number satu for sejarah trials spmrsm! geng,we all were so happy ~ even though addmaths spmrsm reminds me of how stupid I was ~ zaman trial was tiring,it felt as if we were in endless battle.To be very honest,things started to get more serious after trials ended.A week before spm starts,we had our last class in the class sebab after that,we had gemilang almost everyday at surau and classes could not be used as the form4 students used them for igcse exam.Basically,surau was our second home/dorm.Imagine staying at surau the whole day?? we literally left our belongings and books all scattered in the surau sampai kena marah dengan ustazah :/ especially when we (form 5 girls) had our very own spot at the surau so i guess leaving all my stuff could be safe?? and i was so lazy to bring all the books to dorm after all nanti kena turun balik surau,so it’s just the same,the bad thing was,surau looked messy because of us hihi.

As I mentioned earlier,we had gemilang everyday at surau,even after gemilang habis pun,some of us would stay back and sambung study.That was how much we were scared to sit for spm.The pressure for spm was real,dengan the endless handouts for every freaking subject and most importantly,the 10 set handout sejarah ( I swear we all were stressing out because of this haha).When I said that this is an endless battle,yes it is,after habis trials pun i still keep reminding myself that the battle hasnt ended yet mai,hold on a little bit mai,this will be over soon.LIKE LITERALLY EVERYDAY.Countdown to spm was terrifying,to see how fast each day went by,dengan the mental breakdowns some of us had because of addmaths,everything went so fast.Sometimes I felt like i didnt want spm to start so that we can always study together at surau.

Even during riadah hour,girls in my batch started to turun awal surau,we sacrificed our golden hour to nap just to revise more and more.Even if it’s mrsm that we are talking about but that does not mean we are guaranteed to get straights A+,even most of us are the stuggling students that need to work our ass off barulah score.At surau,gelegam became more closer that I remember,gelegam is the girls in our batch,we called ourselves gelegam sebab the name of the whatsapp group is gelegam,so honestly I don’t know where that came from??anyway i still remember how chaotic the surau was when gelegam turun awal surau.Everyone was literally stretching up their muscles on the field while some of us rather studying in the surau.I remember when some would ask “sape tahu dinner apa”,,,,”weh cafe bukak tak sekarang”,,,,fuh i never thought i would come to the point that i would miss those kind of questions.The voices are always lingering on my mind to be honest.I remember how I nganjing nad almost everyday cus she’s gonna sambung study kat utp so i kept nganjing her everyday,our hakak utp :) hahaa see now nadirah is a freaking utp student! proud? yes i am.

During the spm month,the time was slowly arranging its pace but at the same time everything was so fast that I couldnt catch a breath.During those trying times,parents and teachers played a very important role.I am grateful to have teachers that endlessly motivating us despite all of our worries towards spm.Remember when unit sejarah,(cikgu masyitah + cikgu rohaya +cikgu azizan) pesan to us before we entered the hall for paper 3 sejarah,

“kamu bertarung untuk kertas tiga dalam dewan selama 3 jam,cikgu cikgu akan masak kenduri untuk kamu selama 3 jam,kamu mula je 3 jam tu nanti maka cikgu cikgu sejarah kamu pun akan mula memasak”

weh i literally heard cikgu masyitah’s voices in my head! hahaha,truth to be told we had no idea what’s the kenduri gonna be like,makan apa,minum apa.BUT,after we finished the freaking 3 hours,and bukak je pintu dewan,there were two long tables with bihun goreng + sirap ais on it.WE WERE ALL SHOUTINGGG AND CARI CIKGUUUU! wow that was the best times i ever had in mrsm pt *cries a river*.I would never forget the taste of the bihun goreng (anyway sumpah lapar after 3 hours in the hall),i would never forget how lega our sejarah teachers were sebab sejarah battle is over.Aaaa I miss.Anyway not to forget,cikgu masyitah was there for us since day 1 of spm! she was there right in front of the hall,bila dah nak start pun,tak kisah lah subject apa pun she was still gonna be there depan dewan tunggu kita beratur except for physics sebab cikgu balik kampung.Other than that guys,what’s funnier is,cikgu masyitah literally the only warden that woke us up during the toughest month yet especially bila hari takde exam! tahajjud semua entah ke mana haha,trust me bila ada gap spm tuu fuh heaven but stress at the same time cus the subject coming up usually makin susah.Cikgu masyitah would literally turn off our kipas dorm and on lampu besar!!!!!!! see how chaotic.

Two weeks ago,we eventually ended our battle geng.The long-awaited day has come.Pagi pagi lagi as usual takde selera nak makan.Group whatsapp batch has been filling up with spm 2019 stats,press conference kpm.Everyone was literally freaking out and excited sebab lama tak jumpa kan.Sekali jumpa,ha satu dewan bising.Truthfully,I will never fully prepare for result’s day.Bila dah masuk dewan,the place we all used to sit for spm ,is now the place for us to receive our spm result.Vermillion,congrats guys,congrats for the flying colours and uxpected result.We even made it to the news! One of the mrsm yang achieved gps below 2.00.That was incredible.Everyone was at their happiest time ambik result and I thank Allah for that.Some of us were hugging our teachers so tight because we managed to get A.Some of us were talking to cikgu about our batch ranking.We made it to top 5 guys! top 5 mrsm semalaysia,thats crazy sia.

Before I hit the sack,I really hope our path cross again someday and i can’t wait to see each of us become the woman and the man of our dreams.I hope everyone gets to pursue in the course that you guys have been dreaming for.I pray that we will have a stable life,financially stable,physically and mentally stable.Things that happened in maktab taught us a lot and I really hope we could bring the best out of it.All those things,would teach us in so many possible ways that we couldnt imagine.If you find yourself lost in the middle,please reach out to someone,remember what teacher naza said to us,pilih kawan yang baik baik,solat jaga,jaga diri.

I end my entry with a few pictures of my one and only batch,vermillion.

thank you,thank you vm fam,for these 5 years.

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