#currently theres a problem where if you try to sit down while the car is moving you fall through the floor and get stuck lol

[bunnieswithknives]

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WORKING MOVING CAR IN MINECRAFT I AM SO FUKCING SMART!!!

[imagineintoeternity]

I feel scared. My gut is churning because I don't feel stable or safe. My world is upside down. I drove through the streets wailing, crying, yelling my distress in my car, through tears. Through endless cold concrete roads. Desperate for connection. Unsure of where I was going, just that I needed to get out. Had to figure out a destination in my gps and just go there and sit in the car. Then figure out some game plan. Who do I call. Who makes me feel safe. Who can I rely on. Who won't try to manipulate my decisions and emotions based on what's happened. I'm glad I called my friend, she's always reliable, responsible, caring. She let me stay over. I just felt homeless or like a domestic abuse victim. And part of me was legitimately thinking.. am I a victim? Or did I choose this? Am I the problem? Am I the financial leech? If I do all the house chores, work part time, pay what I can in rent, look after the pet, the only one who drives (and generally is a taxi when needed), pays for petrol/car insurance/rego, always collects groceries (pays for whenever I go alone), the only one that cooks, i have the mental load of admin of when bills are due or birthdays or events or even reminding partner to take meds or not spend as much money, I have mental inventory of everything in the house and when its low so I can prepare before it runs out, I don't pay for takeout, I pay for vet bills/medicine, I can barely afford my own necessities so I'm always in poverty mode. I study as well and I'm sporadically all over the place with the amount of mental/emotional work in my head for each client's support needs, and driving to each physical context can be frazzling. My neurodivergence means I get burned out quicker. My trauma means it's taken me longer to learn life skills. My lack of family social supports means I'm pretty isolated. Theres no safe place to go immediately thats family, my mum is interstate. Everyone else is overseas. My mum basically inserted herself into men's lives/houses and stayed in dysfunctional relationships for survival. I met my current partner while essentially homeless and just did the same thing. And I'm just wondering was it dysfunctional from the start. I was seeking someone who could be relied upon in every way, just as I try to reciprocate this back in every single way. I don't want both of our traumas to be triggered in every single conflict. And for it to spiral out of control. I don't want to feel resentment but I do. I don't want to be doing so much of the mental load, house admin, life admin, and I don't want to feel like I'm asking for much when I expect this just to be a basic pillar of support. It's this vicious cycle of both of us being stubborn. I'm told I still need to be communicating my needs, even when it comes to basic house upkeep. I am the only one that wants to decorate the house and make it feel livable. I also have to tidy and unbox my partners boxes full of sentimental and tech gadgets and excess that is hard for him to rid of. I don't think it's fair it should fall on me. I don't think it's fair I have to do more of this type of mental labour. I don't think it's fair to turn around and manipulate me with words like "I got adhd meds for you, otherwise I wouldn't care" or "I didn't want to rent but I did it cuz you wanted to" or "you think I'm a burden and you just don't want me in the house" or "whens the last time you showed me affection" and trying to make data out of human complex memories which are obviously hazy and tainted by emotional bias. I shouldn't have to coddle someone's extreme self-deprecating thoughts. It's so confusing. So it makes me feel like I'm the villain. Am I being manipulated?

It's just a bit absurd that I don't really have a choice. And the only thing I keep thinking now is get full time job and just find a different living situation. Live with ladies who just reciprocate in harmony and don't have to be micromanaged.

So I screamed and screamed through tears. So much pain and trauma and distress was released. So much panic. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. I don't understand what comes next. I have anxiety because my abandonment trigger is being hit. I feel like I'm codependent with my partner. I feel like it's no healthy. I don't know what we should do.

[flashflashhundredyarddash]

batkids and their relationships with their siblings headcanons. under read more because this got fucking LONGGG

dick

dick is the eldest so he doesnt want to bog down his younger siblings with his problems, but if he DOES, he tends to talk to jason about it

dick and cass start to really begin to bond when Cass shows up to dicks gymnastics class for 3rd-6th graders and then cass shows up all the sixth graders and they get frozen yogurt after lmao

dick and tim are Very much thick as thieves. tim is very much like bruce on the Emotional Suppression scale, so dick just really wants to make sure his little brother is safe and happy ALL the time

Duke and Damian are the only two really permanently at the manor anymore, so when dick drops by he tries to do something with both of them. duke frantically zoom calls dick every other week to help him with his his trig homework. dick shows up to dukes high school graduation with literally the BIGGEST SIGN

everyone insists damian is dicks favorite but he does actually genuinely love all his siblings equally, his relationship with damian is just Very different from the others because of the age gap and being dami's primary caretaker for a year. dick babies dami every chance he gets

jason

would sell Dick to satan for One corn chip

him and cass don't have the greatest start to their relationship because cass is very much Against Killing so it takes a while for jason to warm up to her and earn her trust. now, though, jason is competing with steph by showing cass all the classic American Teenager things she missed out on. steph is currently winning but jason is like 98% positive a crunch wrap from taco bell is going to push him over the edge

tim and jason are currently competing over who can solve the most cases in a month. tim is winning. that won't last long.

jason Loves to Big Brother duke its so embarrassing. duke will get out of school and go to his car and jason is SITTING IN THE FRONT SEAT FRANTICALLY WAVING TO GET DUKES ATTENTION. JASON THAT IS MY CAR. signal has one (1) mission with arsenal and arsenal goes hey did you ask that girl to homecoming yet and duke is like I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU.

Damian is proof that Actually, Little Brothers are Pests. Jason fully believes that he was brought back from the dead PURELY to torment damian and he will fulfill this mission at any cost

cassandra

it actually really upset her when Dick didn't accept her at first. she knows her other siblings really adore dick so his lack of trust was really disheartening. it takes dick a while but once he Actually Accepts that cass is going to be a permanent part of their life and oh, wow, dick you really hurt her feelings he really hyperfocuses on bonding with cass for a couple of months which definitely improves their relationship

she really likes jason!! their relationship doesn't start well but because he's close with steph and tim who are cass's top two favorite people to exist ever, cass is like well i GUESS ill hang out with him more. jason is fun to talk to because he always tries his best to explain jokes and give context to what people are talking about (also tim took her to taco bell already but she didn't tell jason she just wanted to hang out)

cass LOVES tim. they just click okay. tim always seems to know when to give her space and when to push and come closer. Tim's "guest room" is just her room lets be real. tim and cass occasionally get mistaken for twins and Cass Loves it.

duke makes cass listen to metal once and cass loses. her. damn. mind. they bond over music a lot because they both Love Music to a degree the others in their family don't.

damian!! damian is her little brother!!! dami isn't As Hostile to cass at first because he is 100% aware cass has the edge in fighting and respects her. cass likes all of his instagram posts and they have a snapchat streak going

tim

tim Loves dick, dick was his first sibling!! he had Very strong hero worship when he first met dick but it mellowed out when tim got older because wow 17 is really not that cool and mature lol. tim has an open invitation to dick's apartment which he does occasionally take advantage of. tim has more than once scared the shit out of wally when wally comes over and wally is convinced they're being robbed (HA) for half a second. i mean. he's not wrong.

listen. tim understands that forgiving the guy who tried to kill you would be a Struggle for some people and it was! definitely! but also at least he can trust jason to, uh, be open about if he doesn't like tim. which is not an assurance he has with other people. so if the guy who tried to kill him tells him tim is cool now then like. maybe tim isn't that bad or annoying a person? also jason arrested a whole gang and won the cases competition but then it created a power vacuum that the whole batfam had to clean up the rest of the month. thanks, jason.

tim LOVES cass. you know how most of the time theres this empty feeling inside you and you just kind of ignore it because you don't know what will fix it or if you do, you know you can't fix it? cass makes that empty feeling feel a little less empty. they just click. tim always tries to travel with cass whenever she leaves gotham.

tim and duke. Tim is actually the sibling who duke goes to whenever he has questions he doesn't want to ask bruce or alfred about, like, life or vigilante-ing or school or college or whatever and Tim is always like yes!! i love Giving Advice and Solving Problems!! tim and duke and jason fill out their college applications together.

tim and damian. LMAO. ROUGH START THAT'S ALL ILL SAY. at some point alfred goes like fuck it. family therapy. and tim and dami are PISSED. tim and damian get along best when they have a common enemy to work against. their relationship gets much better when damian is older and they actually talk about their feelings like emotionally stunted bats. despite how bad their relationship was, tim will ALWAYS protect damian

duke

very much intimidated by dick at first. dick is so much older and has his own job and friends and life and is very much AN ADULT. dick likes to take duke out to do lots of cool stuff (paintball, lasertag, tech exhibitions, concerts, etc). also, dick PERSONALLY introduced duke to superman and is dating THE FLASH. 10/10 awesome big brother.

was intimidated by jason for 0.5 seconds before jason actually opened his mouth and started speaking. jason is literally. So Embarrassing. which is weird because nobody else really seems to feel that way about jason but duke knows he's 100% in the right here. like yeah jason is also An Adult and does Adult Stuff but he's also at the manor like every other weekend???? and he always complains about bruce but always seems to be in the same room bruce is in????? like okay jason. they bond over literature!! jason and duke and alfred will spend literal hours talking about books and duke loves it. duke is the only one who doesn't think jason is funny and jason gets so upset about it lmao.

cass has this one week where she gets really into photography and by virtue of being nearby (and also not nocturnal), duke becomes her victim subject. duke prints out all the pictures and hangs them up in his room (his favorite is one he took when he stole the camera and took a really bad selfie of them together).

tim is closest in age to duke so duke tends to hang around with him a lot. tim introduced duke to his young justice friends and duke is like yes!!! meta-friends!!!! tim really helps duke out with his powers because tim is always like wow i wonder if your powers would work if we did This? can you see farther than other people? is your visible spectrum of light different than other humans? Bruce does the same thing but bruce is boring about it lol.

damian and duke live in the same house and will be in the same room and just send each other social media posts back and forth. they follow each other on instagram and will, OCCASIONALLY, make tik toks together because they're tik tok fiends. each of his siblings have visited his parents once or twice but damian routinely comes with him.

damian

damian gets a special bullet point to say that it took him. forever to come around to the idea of having siblings. he very much believed that he was Bruce's Blood Son and everyone else were just tagalongs or allies. it took him ages to acknowledge that dick, jason, tim, and cass were his siblings, so when duke came and like a week later damian was like Ah, Yes, this is my brother Thomas everyone else was like dude wtf

listen. LISTEN. Obviously. Richard is very highly skilled. and also Father values him highly. and also Richard will listen to Damian complain about his schoolmates. and also Richard is much more patient with Damian than other members of his family. listen....,,, (all this to say damian kind of fucking adores dick lmaooooo this kid).

Todd is kind of unbearable but damian has been informed this is both a normal feeling when it comes to Todd and also big brothers. damian was an only child for ten years so yes, Father, if Todd attempts to tickle me I WILL break his fucking nose. yes i WILL put money in the swear jar but I want you to know i don't regret it. they always try to sneak up on each other but mostly fail.

DRAKE!!! but no lol once damian grows up and is like I Apologize for attempting to murder you it was wrong and you are just as much a son to Father as I am tim is like UGH i guess its cool since ur being so emotionally mature and all. also im 2 for 5 on siblings trying to murder me so im definitely going to win trauma bingo and damian is like i take it back you are insufferable. When Will My Older Siblings Stop Joking About Their Trauma.

CASS!!! listen. cass is cool. Cass Gets It. They have a special Bond. also damian really likes it whenever cass is home because 1) he gets to hang out and do something cool with cass and 2) he feels significantly safer with cass in the house because Nobody will be able to hurt any of their family if Cass is there. ALSO he tries to call her cain but everyone is like DONT DO THAT and he doesn't want to call her wayne bcus theyre ALL wayne (dick adds it on as a middle name but also Richard John Wayne West-Grayson is just. the lamest name ever so dick needs to reconsider it before his upcoming nuptials)((dick will not reconsider it except maybe whether grayson-west would work better)) and so he tries cassandra but cass is like :) call me cass and damian is like cassandra is more formal and respectful and cass is like :) and finally damian just has to give in.

Duke! him and duke actually live together so they get the Most Bonding Time and have a bunch of inside jokes as a result. (is it bad i wanted to laugh because inside jokes... joker... i'll see myself out). they're eating breakfast together (and also alfred sits with them IM NOT A MONSTER ALFIE'S LIKE 70 NOW OKAY) and duke laughs and bruce is like what are you laughing at, son? and duke is like oh damian just showed me this funny meme and then he shows the phone to bruce and bruce grabs it (both the boys groan) and after WAY TOO LONG is like "i don't get it" and so now duke and damian have to try and explain the comedic intricacy of bob's burgers

[its--me-alex]

Imagine Sam Winchester - missed opportunities

Request: “ Sam and reader having the holidays alone in the bunker, basically anything a holidays fun day would include but my only specifics for this vague request would be some type of snow activity and maybe some mistletoe, it doesn’t snow where i’m from and snow stuff is always really fun!! 

Super sorry if it’s too vague, i feel bad asking for anything too specific and kinda embarrassed even tho it’s anonymous, hope you have a happy holidays :)”

A/N: Please don’t ever feel bad or embarrassed about your requests. Writers like myself are estatic whenever we get one. Also I know it ain’t christmas anymore but here is the story anyways, because why not. It isn’t as holiday-ish as intended but still: Enjoy!

Words: 1,619

Memories in italics

POV Reader:

“Almost two goddam months.I really need to get over this! Seriously y/n, there are more importat things than....” you halted your thoughts hating that you couldn’t get over it.

Looking up you felt an immediate wave of regret. Over there sat Sam, looking on one of this oh-so-boring lore books, being calm as ever, as if christmas eve hadn’t happend. You on the other hand couldn’t even sit quietly next to the younger Winchester without having your mind becoming a mess.

It was the evening of christmas eve. Dean who wanted you to “get your shit together, finally stop to eye-fuck his brother and rather do the real thing” left the two of you to “get some beer”. Unfortunately he got stuck on the road because of some “car problems”, which left you and Sam alone in the bunker to celabrate christmas.

Trying not to remember that Dean told you very specifically to ask his brother out you try to keep your hands steady while you stand next to Sam to prepare your dinner. Looking at him out of the conner of your eye, you saw that he was as collected as always.

“Why would he be nervous anyways”, you asked yourself: “it isn’t as if the two of you had never been alone together”

But you were fidgety anyways, knowing what Dean wanted you to do. “He dosen’t like me that way. Why does Dean what me to embarrass me like that to him?!”, you thought.

“y/n? Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, sure just thinking ‘bout stuff, y’know?”

“Oh-okay. Ahm.. I’m done with cutting the vegetables . You?”

You tested the nuddles and said: “Yeah there done.”

You already feared the strange atmosphere, that you expected at the dinner table, but to your surprise everything went perfect. As it was normal for the two of you you had one great conversation topic after the next, half of them making you laught the other half being some deep shit.

After you finished dinner, you cleaned up and decided you wanted to have a glass of whiskey in the liberay.

Sam went there first and you moved back to your room to check on your phone quickliy before you wanted to join him.

Going into your room you screened it, for where you phone is. You found it on your nightstand. While walking back to the liberary where suspected Sam was already waiting for you, you turned it on.

There where endlessly many notifications for misssed calls from Dean. As you just wanted to click on the button to hear what he had to say, eventhought you weren’t sure if you wanted to hear him asking how far you and Sam made it with the talking-about-your-feelings, you saw Sam standing in the door to the liberary looking up.

“Ahm... you alright there Sammy?”, you asked gigerly, competly forgetting about Deans calls.

You just wanted to go passed him, as he grabed your arm softly.

“Well.. Y-you know I... actually ahm”, he paused.

Now extremely curious of what had the fearless and calm hunter Sam fucking Winchester so out of his head you looked up too. Above your heads there was a miseltoe with a small note in Deans Handwriting “Since I know you two I herby give you a push.”

“He’s having a strange humor again, eh?”, you tried to laught it off knowing that you would possibly catch fire if his lips were to touch yous.

“Ha! Yeah, but y’know, he will know if we don’t ... so that”, hawking he took a deep breath and then looked you directly in the eyes.

Suddenly he softly grabbed the back of your head. Everything started to be tingeling and your breathing became eratic as his other arm found his way around your waist to pull you more into him.

Trying to steady youself you put both of your hand on his firm chest, feeling his strong muscles underneath his ugly christmas sweater.

His eyes were still focused on yous as he took a deep breath. You had to swallow hard as he bend down a bit to be on your hight.

All your thoughts were gone and your heart was fluttering so much it almost hurt as you were anticipating his next move.

He broke the tensed silence between the two of you with a whisped: “Is this ok?”

Swallowing hard yet again you answered in a raspy voice: “Y-Yeah”

Slowly, giving you any chance to escape, his face came closer to yours. You reacted by parting you lips slghtly. Then you felt his shallow breath on your face as you both closed you eyes gradually. When you could finally, almost feel his clapped lips on your soft ones ....

BOOM!

Thinking back to the day of christmas eve you sighned heavily. Dean had interrupted you right befor you both could finally have what you had craved for for years. To be fair, there was a problem with witches that couldn’t wait, since they were attacing Lebanon trying to catch children who were feeling “true happiness” to sacifice them to some god of theirs.

Needless to say that you fought them hard, but still some of them escaped far away. It took you until yesterday to kill them all, before Dean decided he would drive throught at night, if that meant he cold spend the next night on his memory foam. Currently he wanted to get some  groceries since all you had was to old by now.

Thinking of the devil, Dean came throught the bunker door with two big bags full of things.

“Whoa, Dean! Are we gonna host some party or why did you buy the whole store?”, Sam asked, snickering at the sight of his brother struggeling those two big, heavy-looking bags.

“Ha-ha, Bitch. So funny. There was a sale at the shop from which we get our weapons and ammunition. So I bought it!”, Dean exclaimed.

“Bought “It”?“, you asked curious but still amused.

“Ahm, everything he had. He-he”, Dean ducked his head as if he just now noticed that what he bought might really be a bit too much. Knowing Dean you asumed he really just had that realisation.

As Sam gave his brother the famous bitch-face Dean replied: “You know what: I did the shopping, you do the carrying stuff part. Theres lots still in the trunk.”

Huffing Sam and you realised that descussing this would take longer than to just carry all in.

As you were gettting up Sam reacted by saying “O-oh no. You don’t need to help. I got this. It’s very cold outside.”

“We are quicker if we work together. I’m just gonna put a jacket on.”

As you took a step outside of the bunkers main entrance there stood the impala. It’s shiny black hood looking impressive on the white background.

“Did you knew it had snowed?”

No. But it’s great isn’t it?”

“Yeah!”

After that short exchange you both started to carry in one heavy bag full of ammunition and weapons after the next.

As you just walked outside to check if there was another bag left, you felt something hitting your back.

Turning around quickly you saw Sam standing there and failing to look innocent.

“You shouldn’t have started a fight you can’t win, Winchester!”

“Oh really? What do you what to do about it?”

Reacting to his sassy words you quickly grabbed a hand full of fresh white snow and threw it in his face.

“How about that.”

“Oh you are in for it y/n.”

With that a heavy snow fight brock out between the two of you. You would always dodge his snow, something he couldn’t.  

Just as you wanted to throw another snowball at him, you looked around but couldn’t see him. Right when you wanted to yell at him, that you would go back inside to drink something warm, secretly hoping he would come out of his hideout, so you could throw another load of snow at him, you got tackled from behind. 

Hunter instincts kicking in you throw that (fairly heavy) person off of you, turn around and press them into the ground with your full weight on your arm holding them down at their troat.

“Look who’s there.” you hear Sams voice close to your ear.

“Shit! Sorry Sammy! I didn’t... Sorry”

As you tried to get off of him you first took your arm away from his neck.

“It’s okay. I’m gonna make the best outta it.”

With that he turned you around yet again, so he was laying on top of you. However he was, other than you, very carful to not put his whole weight on you as he reached for something in his pocket.

“When we were coming home earlier, I spotted something that had me reminded of how much I wanted - no still want ... something.”, he stuttered.

As you just wanted to ask whats the matter, he showed you the miseltoe under which the two of you had almost kissed months ago.

“Ever since this evening I was barly able to hunt down those witches. I tried everything y/n, and still... all I could think of was how good you smelled, and how soft you lips looked, how perfect your body felt under my hands, how much I wanted to... “

You stopped him by pressing you lips to his in a loving kiss, just as you had dreamed of so often since you fell for him. And just like you imagined it was perfect. Both of you could only concentrade on this very moment as you both fullfilled you deepest wish of being together that way.

Breathing heavily you answered: “ Yeah, me too.”

----------------------------

Also check this out:

https://its--me-alex.tumblr.com/post/637948228780933120/headcanons-castiel-how-he-fell-for-you-he-met

[fleshblueberry]

Babe wake up im going to rant about my ocs lore because im bored

Tw/cw depression, suicide, kidnapping, addiction, unreality

I write angsty stuff for my ocs oops-

When i first started making my characters they were very different in alot of ways and they were very different from what they are now. But i some how managed to glue all the chaos of my ocs together into a semi-coherent story. I went through an insane amount of world building with myself and i honestly dont think ive ever writen or typed any of it out before! its all just up in my head (and you know my memory is trash so ive probably forgotten of alot of things i made before lol). Anyways- i have two main story lines for my characters. Ethan's story, and Vevlet's story. Although i must admit Ethan's story is less complex than velvets simply beacsue it acts as a story of prequeal to Velvets story line. (Alternate realities that happen to have effect on each other basically- we love space time junk)

Ethan's world is very similar to ours, the most similar out of any of my fantasy worlds lol. Ethan's story revolves around self-discovery. I mean for it to be a wholesome/lighthearted thing that quickly leads up to dark undertones (spoilers lol). Ethan's story begins with Eef pre-transition (AFAB to NB). We get to see Ethan learn about themself and have fun exploring emotions and what it means to be alive. Ethan comes from a run-down family (mom khs, dad mia). So he lives with his adoptive parents (who i have yet to design and think about- theyre lesbians 100% though). A major moment for Eef is meeting his partner Seth. As you already know Ethan and Seth are cute ass boyfriends and stuff but guess what! im jammed their story full of angst and edgy shit bc i "wrote" most of this when i was hella depressed! Anyways Seth's family is like moderally welathy, wealthier than most i would say. Seth catches feelings for the emo chick ofc (forgot to metion Eef was definately a hot goth girl before he transitions).... uh yea anyways seth ends up flirting and crushing on eef and eef is like yea sure im bored and sad why not. and they end up dating after a while. Theres an important moment in their relationship when Ethan take Seth to this dead tree. THis dead tree is very important also bc it is where his mother hanged herself, and Ethan doesnt quite remember that bc he was very young when it happened, but he knows it as a place of comfort and he goes there alot when he feels sad or alone. this tree could be taken as symbolizim but heheh ill never tell. anyways Ethan is like yo my fevorite tree and Seth is like wtf okay bro ily and all but why a dead tree with an unstable tire swing?? ANd ethans like idk but i like it here reminds me of my childhood (op my guy) and they spend the night there. Also when ethan comes out to seth as nonbinary seth is just like ok,,, because hes bisexual lol. anyways time skip and Seth has some addiction problems once he graduates, long story short- Ethan doesnt like it bc his dad was a druggie so he trys to help Seth and Seth raises his voice and ethan is tiny compared to his bf so hes naturally like terrified of being hit and he suddenly feels his world of happy and peace he build back up bieng destroyed once again so he heads to his mothers dead tree and decides life isnt worth it anymore, and he hangs himself in the exact spot his mother did.... once seth comes off one of his highs or whatever hes like- oh fuck i yelled and acted agro to my traumatized partner. and he immedatly goes to the tree bc its Ethans favortie spot but its to late. regret is the only emootion anymore... its over for them.

now youre probably wondering how the absolute hell does that tie into velvets lore?? well do i have a tale for you. Velvets sotry begins on her 21st birthday, she is out for drinks with her douchebag bf and her bestfriend. several drinks later she yells over blaring club music shes going to the restroom, and as shes walking back she sees her bf and her bestie making out and she doesnt even say anyhting and walks out alone. She is making her way back to her apartment very tipsy. She then hears a vechile driving beside her, she cant make out anyhting theyre saying and the people in the car get out and before she even relises whats going on shes thrown into the vechile and is being beaten and yelled at. She passes out as theyre driivng to somewhere. When she next awakes she is in a barn-looking place. Concreate walls painted red and straw all over the floor. she cant stand, her legs stung and so did her entire body. for several days- she doesnt know how long she stayed in this place unable to move or do anything. Weak and starving, she gathered up her last bit of strength and hung herself on a low board (havent really worked out the details on that scence bc i keep changing my mind but she does hang herself). Cut to a space of nothingness- legit nothing- exactly its impossible to imagine nothing. In the nothing sits velvet all skin and bone, and then an entity, a hooded figure with long hair, sits next to her. No words are spoke, but the entity looks at velvet longingly. Then it tears out its eye- just full on plunges its hand into its socket and rips it out. bloody mess honestly. the entity hands its eye to velvet, and she takes it. there is no thoughts here, no sound, only actions. Cut once more to a coriners room place? ya know the place with dead bodies and tables and shit- anyways a bright light emerges from dead!vevlets chest and surrounds her entire body. *cue stunned doctor mans* Velvet arises from her death with her scars healed over and... wings. Yup shes an angel now. I mean her world already had monsters and things of suppernatural belonging but- angels are rare. She makes 1 of 2 angels in their relam as of current. Angels are "made" from regrets. Regret overflowing from two sources- one long dead and the other recent. This is where ethan comes in. Ethan's regret from how he died was powerful and sad, powerful enough for his spirt- an entity- to reach Velvets. Velvet too, had much regret in her death. So young and so many things that could have been avoided. In the days following up to her death in the barn/cellar she only felt regret. Regret for all she did and all she didnt do. So much pain summoned the entity. Their powerful forces of regret pulled them together and allowed Velvet to return- but at a price for the both of them. the entity lost its eye- symbolizing a loss of humanity and conscientiousness. While Velvet lost herself, she no longer can view her world in the same way. She has severe ptsd- like episodes and halucinations. She cant go back, she has to live through he own grief. Velvets appearnace also changes quite a bit. Her hair got longer, she has two sleek gray wings on her back, and- one of her eyes are purple now. why does it hrut her to see that eye? why is it all so familiar yet far away. Her human brain can hardly understand all the changes. But she was gifted this- she knows she must try. And luckily for her society sees angels as higher beings. They are given the umost respect but they are also greatly feared because of how misterious their origins are. The only other known angel meets with velvet quite alot through her story, he will act as a sort of guide/plot device to make things a bit easier for myself (havent worked out his lore tho or even a design for him hjbfkjsdb). Anyways im tired and its 1:35 am so thats all the lore you get for now, plus its the stuff ive thought about the most so- i dont really want to think any furtherb ahead yet lol. to many little things to work out...... i love creating but oml typing hurts after an hour or so-

Jam out!

... I don't even know what to say to this

[brelione]

Endgame(Kiara Carrera X Reader)

Request:with kie with a like super rich kook SO and bringing them to meet the rest of the pogues and they all expect to hate them but then not

Kiara had never liked you.Well, she had never reallly met you.She kind of just assumed you were a bitch.You were what Sarah Cameron thought she was, you came from a ridiculously rich family.

Your mother was a brain surgeon and your father was a famous actor so that obviously meant that you were ridiculously rich.Kie had done a lot of research on you, finding your name on your fathers wikipedia page and from there finding your blog where you posted videos of him behind the scenes and personal interviews with him on your youtube channel.

She was up for 16 hours straight watching all of your videos, memorising your intro song.You had a good one million subscribers, posting a lot of blogs and videos showing things that you had found on the beach.She would blush and giggle at your little comments.

 “Hey, beautiful people!Its your bitch and today im gonna show you guys my new surf board because my old one got broke on an accident.I mean, my wrist also broke so if you were gonna comment on it, trust me.I definitely noticed.So before I get into this video I just want to talk about mental health really quickly.”You paused to take in a quick breath, speaking a bit too fast.

Theres a new suicide game and its getting across social media really quick so please do me a favor and stay safe.It doesnt matter what the problem is now, its only temporary and suicide is a permanent solution.I linked some suicide hotlines and free therapy sources in the description so please just keep yourselves healthy and happy for me, okay?Okay, cool.”You licked your lips, calming down from the quick rant.

“Also drink some fucking water!Its hot out and I almost passed out the other day and make sure you get a snack because this video is already fifteen minutes long and im probably gonna be ranting for another hour.”You grinned at the camera.

Kiara bit into a carrot stick, her knees on her chest as she sat in the recliner of her living room. “Watching another documentary?”Her mother asked, noticing that her daughter hadnt moved in hours.Kie shrugged, focusing on you as you dropped your surfboard. “This is exactly how I broke the first one-fuck!”You laughed, picking it back up.

Eventually the boys started to spam her phone, interrupting her binge watching.She left her house with a sigh, walking out to the dock and waiting for the pogues.Thats when she heard your voice.It was quiet as you walked, wearing white jeans and a light blue button up shirt.

 “So you guys always ask me to show you the beach that I find all of my seashells at so thats what we’re-”You paused, looking over to Kiara.She quickly looked away, pretending to be busy on your phone. “Sorry guys, I just saw a really pretty girl.”You whispered to your phone, continuing your walk.

From there she finally worked up the courage to talk to you.She couldnt simply message you on instagram, you had hundreds of thousands of followers so her dm would get lost with all the others.

So she found her prettiest outfit and walked to your house, knocking on the door.You looked at her through the camera of your doorbell, knowing that you had seen her before.You set down your lap top as you were editing, going to answer the door. 

“Hi...um...hi.”She laughed, not planning on getting this far. “Hi, um...what’s up?”You cringed at your words. “Nothing much.I just live a block away and I just thought id say hi...im sorry.”She laughed again, becoming more anxious.

 “Its fine!So um...I dont know, do you wanna maybe hang out sometime?”You asked, leaning against your doorway.She licked her lips, trying her best not to blush. “Yeah, yeah ok.Um...could I get your number?”She asked, holding her phone.

You nodded, giving her your phone number and telling her to text you whenever.Once the door was closed and she had left you were a squealing mess on your couch, recording. 

“So you guys know that pretty girl I was talking about that I saw?Yeah so I just got her number and im low key freaking out-oh god lets just hope she doesnt watch my channel!”You laughed before finishing the editing process, uploading it to youtube.

Kiara got the notification while she was washing her face, watching the video and absolutely losing her mind.She buried her face in her pillow, squealing before deciding to text you.

Unknown number:hey!Its Kiara.Do you wanna hang out tomorrow?

You smiled, letting out a sigh.You screenshotted it, knowing that it would be fun to look back at in the future.

You:Sounds good!Do you want to come over and we can get coffee or lunch or something?

Kie:Okay!!12?

You:Works for me :)

Kie:Okay!

You were anxious the whole night, trying to figure out what to wear.You couldnt decide, posting a poll on your instagram.They decided that you’d be wearing a dark green romper and sandals.You went to bed early since you’d have to wake up before afternoon, heart pounding.

When you woke up it was eleven and you were already behind, hopping in the shower quickly, drying your hair and brushing it, trying to get it to a soft texture.You didnt want to look like you were trying too hard, deciding not to use all of the hair products you’d usually put in your hair before a meeting or a date.

You got into your outfit quickly, pinning your pin back with bobby pins so you could moisturize your face, grabbing your box of beads and parting your hair.You braided the two groups of hair that framed your face, intertwining the beads along the way, securing it with an elastic.

You sighed, twisting a golden flower ring onto your pinkie before going down stairs to sit in your large living room, waiting for Kiara.Your doorbell alerted you to motion outside, getting excited when you saw Kiara walking up to your front door.

She was wearing a pink tube top, light washed jeans with her hair half up and half down, bracelets hugging her wrists.You got up, answering the door the second she rung the bell. “Hi.”You smiled, phone in your pocket.

 “Hi.”She smiled back, looking up and down at you.The two of you got into your car, you driving as you started your drive to a cafe. “So how are you?”You asked, realising you knew nothing about her. “Im good, what about you?”She asked, hands in her lap. “I was up all night editing which obviously sucked but you know, it is what it is.”You replied, biting your lip.

She smiled, knowing she’d end up watching the video. “Editing what?Like an edits account on instagram?”She asked, cringing at how stupid it sounded.You shook your head, slowing down once you got to the main road, searching for a parking spot.

 “No, I have a youtube channel.I kind of just post random shit and hope for the best.”You answered, pulling up next to the cafe.She nodded, turning to look at you. “That’s cool, what kind of stuff do you post?”She asked, resting her chain against her palm.

You bit your lip, glancing over at the cafe. “I post a lot of interviews and random videos of my dad and sometimes he’ll take me to a set with him and i’ll take videos with the cast.I got to meet Scarlet Johannson so thats cool.”You replied, unbuckling your seatbelt.She grinned.

 “Thats fucking awesome-were they in a movie together?”She asked, wanting to hear you talk more. “A show thats coming to Netflix soon, its kind of like a murder mystery meets greek mythology and my dad plays Zeus.We should watch it together.”You answered.

The car was cool but you felt hot, probably because her eyes were focused on you.She nodded, liking the idea of hanging out with you more. “That’d be awesome.”The two of you went inside, the barista grinning at you.

She had always liked you and liked showing up in your vlogs when you came in to get your coffee with boba.She looked to the unknown girl beside you, a small pout on her face. “What can I get for you ladies?”She asked, already preparing your coffee. 

“What do you want, Kie?”You asked, moving aside so she could see the menu. “Uhhh….whats a green frappe?”She asked, squinting at the menu. “Oh-its like a blended matcha latte with like mint and vanilla.It's really good.”You explained.

The two of you sat with your drinks, Kiara laughing as you stabbed the boba bubbles at the bottom of your cup. “You know whats cool?These straws are made of hemp plastic so its-”She cut you off before you could finish.

 “Biodegradable?”She asked.You nodded, glad someone finally knew what you were talking about. “Yeah!And the company is awesome, they have like 10% of sales going to help the Amazon rain forests and another 10% going to help clean the ocean.”You smiled, taking a sip of coffee.

The afternoon had ended with the two of you on the beach, taking photos of eachother discretely while you finished your drinks, searching for sea glass and watching the sun set.Kiara was freaking out on the inside, knowing that she was pretty much dating a celebrity.

It didnt take long after that first day for her to start showing up in your videos.You held your camera as you two walked down the beach, her hand holding yours and twirling you every once in a while, flashing a smile to the camera. 

“So we’re currently on our way to a place that Kie will not tell me about because shes rude.”You spoke, turning the camera to face you.Kiara simply laughed, placing her chin on your shoulder. “Uh...no its because im good at planning surprises.”She answered, grinning when you gasped.

Two surfboards were on the sand along with a blanket and a basket full of fruits, veggies and sandwiches.You cut the camera, giggling and pulling her into a kiss. “Love you.”She grinned, giggling.

 “Love you too.”You replied, looking down at the boards.It didnt take long for the two of you to be in only your swimsuits, grabbing the boards and heading towards the water.You clipped the camera to your board, making sure it was secure before stating to film, catching a few good waves on camera before focusing more on Kie.

 “There she is, showing off for you guys.”You zoomed in on Kiara as she rode the wave, twisting her body to get a beautiful spin on the dark blue wave.She disappeared under the water, resurfacing with a smile and hair on her face, swimming towards you.

 “Did you see that?”She asked, a proud smirk tugging at her lips.You nodded. “How could I miss it?”You asked, earning an eye roll from your girlfriend. “Shut up.”She splashed you, letting out a loud laugh when you splashed back at her.

Turning off the camera, laying on your stomachs against your boards, holding hands so you wouldnt drift away from eachother.It was heaven. “So...ive been thinking lately.”She started, a nervous look on her face.

You raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to continue. “And I think I want you to meet my friends.”She tapped her fingernails against your surfboard, waiting anxiously for your answer.She had told the boys all about you.

About how you had a huge following on youtube, how your dad was an actor and how you lived in the biggest house on figure eight.She had tried her best to tell them that you werent like the others, that you were fantastic and humble.

But of course they didnt believer her and ‘would believe it when they saw it’.She knew that if she didnt end up introducing you to them sooner or later that she’d lost the chance to introduce you at all.

You nodded, considering it. “Yeah, okay.When?”You asked, hoping you’d at least have time to think about this. “Tomorrow.”She replied, wincing when you let out a small shout. “Tomorrow?Shit-Kie, im not ready!”You exclaimed, covering your mouth when you realised how loud you had been. 

“Babe, chill.Let me pick out your outfit and it’ll be fine.”She insisted.You gave in, the two of you paddling back to the sand, wrapping up in your towels and sitting on the blanket, eating some cutie oranges.

She spent the night at your house, holding on tight to you even though the two of you were in a king sized bed and she had more than enough space to spread out like a starfish.

The morning came too fast, Kiara raiding your closet for something appropriate for the occasion, pleased when she came across a black bathing suit and a yellow shirt along with some jeans, tossing them at you. 

“Babe, you gotta get up.”She told you, already dressed and ready to go.You groaned, finally getting up a few minutes later, slowly changing and not even bothering to pick up your pajamas.You were still sore from last night, stretching your limbs as you pulled the jeans up your body.The boys were spamming her phone, making her annoyed.

Dumb Blonde:Where are you guys

God:Are you bringing them with you

Trash Rat:Dont bring them with you 

Trash Rat:The place is a mess

Trash Rat:Kie

Trash Rat:Kiara

Trash Rat:Kiara Madelyn Klark Carrera

God:Where are you guys

Dumb Blonde:Wait are they the one with the dad that was in that one movie

She ignored their texts, turning off her notifications and sending you a quick smile, promising to get you an iced coffee on the way.You were half asleep in the passengers seat until she handed you a french vanilla iced coffee, slowly becoming awake.

By the time you had finished your coffee she had pulled into John.B’s drive way, hand on your thigh in attempts to calm you down. “You’re gonna be fine, babe.Everyone likes you, they just havent met you yet.”She grinned, getting out of the car.

You squeezed her hand, following her into the house.The boys were all sitting on the couch, looking up once the two of you had entered.JJ immediately looked you up and down, raising an eyebrow.You felt a bit insecure, trying to figure out what he thought of you.

 “This is (Y/N).(Y/N), these are the boys.Thats John.B, thats JJ and thats Pope.”She pointed to each of the boys.The tension in the room was ridiculous until Kiara pulled you into her lap, the boys looking between eachother. “So whats it like having a movie star as a dad?”JJ asked, the first one to speak up.

You bit your bottom lip, pulling at the skin on your hands. “umm...its really cool sometimes.Chris Hemsworth is a family friend so thats cool but like...I cant go anywhere with him when he’s home without getting followed around and there was this one teenage girl stalking him once and she was climbing our house and was watching me sleep.”You answered, relieved when you heard Pope chuckle. 

“Wait, actually?Thats so scary.”He replied, the two of you beginning to calm down a bit.You, John.B and JJ were all conversating about Chris Hemsworth, all of them asking a lot of questions.

 “Wait-who else have you met from the Avengers?”John.B asked. “I met Scarlet Johanson and Chris Evans.”You replied.Kiara smacked your leg. “You met Christ Evans and never told me?”She asked, outraged.

You rolled your eyes, pulling out your phone to show them the vlog that Chris had made an appearance in.Kiara was just confused as to why she had never seen it before you informed her that it was private. 

“Ew-ignore my face.Just wait a few seconds.”You told them, the phone between the circle that had ended up forming. “Oh my god!Its Chris Evans!”JJ shouted, staring at the phone.Chris had leaned over your shoulder, saying a quick ‘hello’ to the camera before Scarlet stole it from you. 

“This is Scarlet Johannson and I have decided to take over my new role as (Y/N)’s mom.Im sorry (Y/M/N) but they’re mine now.”She smiled.Her hair had been dyed a light blonde, red lipstick and light eyeshadow.

You had been freaking out the whole time. “Wait-will you ever see her again?”JJ asked.You hummed, sure that she’d be making an appearance for a Christmas Party. “Can you tell her I love her, please?”He asked, face red. “She reaches my vlogs-do you guys want to be in one?”You offered, remembering that you had your camera in your bag.

They all agreed, excited as you took out your camera, Kiara holding onto you. “So Kiara introduced me to her friends today and JJ has a special message for Scarlet.”You grinned, pointing the camera towards him. “Marry me, please.”He winked, giggling.

Pope flashed a peace sign at the camera, John.B sticking out his tongue and doing finger guns. “This is John.B and this is Pope, and then we have Kie as always.”You pointed the camera at her.She bit her lip, winking at the camera and making you laugh.

 “Oh my god- what is this vlog.”You shook your head, turning off the camera.When you had posted the vlog that night you were spammed with comments demanding JJ’s instagram and of course you had to give the people what they wanted.

JJ was more than happy to have a ton of pretty girls hyping him up in his comments, Pope getting a lot of attention as well.Scarlet had made sure to let you know that she had watched it and to tell JJ that he was too young for her but she was flattered by the offer.But then your instagram was being spammed.You were being tagged in dozens of edits of you and Kie along with one of you and JJ.But the comments on that one were so funny.

Kieand(Y/N)4life:bruh no

(Y/N)officialfanpage:no <3

(Y/N)officialfanpage:Kiara and them are meant to be bb

Kiara(Y/L/N):Kiara and them are meant to be buddy

KIEANDYNAREENDGAME:uhhh isnt it confirmed that Kiara and (Y/N) are dating?

“They’re catching on.”You told Kie, sitting down on the bed and showing her all the things you were tagged in.She grinned, telling you to post and make it official. “You sure?”You asked.She nodded, fixing her hair as you got ready to take a photo, kissing her cheek. She bit her lip, watching you type.

We are endgame.

@poguestyleskye  @jjtheangel @lovelyelinor @messuhp  @outerbongs  @copper-boom  @httpstarkey @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl  @simonsbluee   @jiaraendgame  @khiaraaa-in-spacee  @on-socks-off  @abbiesthings @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @i-love-scott-mccall​

[ddaenggtan]

as we go along | myj [m]

pairing | min yoonji x reader

wc | 10.4k

genre | NSFW; Fluff, Smut, a dash of Angst bc why not

Four years ago, the beautiful stunning attractive frustrating Min Yoonji came into your life. Ever since, it’s been a competition between the two of you to win the HOA’s Holiday Decorating Contest. The fiery looks she gives you paired with the pointed insults throw you off your game every year, but not this time. This holiday season, you’re determines to win; and along the way you might just find that Yoonji’s been trying to win something else.

;OR the queer hallmark movie of your dreams.

warnings/tags | idiots to lovers, enemies to lovers, Awkward Gays, Idiot/Oblivious Gays, very strong language i think this MC curses almost as much as i do, oral (female receiving) x2, fingering, wall sex, theres like....a hint of body worship in that MC loves eating pussy bc lbr. what else could possibly compare to that. uhh side jinkook, as well as some side namyoonmin and some vhope if u squint real hard. hwasa and chungha are a lesbian power couple. OH The Min Twins aka Yoongi and Yoonji are siblings uwu

a/n |  this is 100% every single lesbian fantasy of my dreams because i just really love the ladeez and also min yoonji needs more characterization outside of 'stone cold butch domme' so uh. here ya go. i love ladeez so this is v self indulgent and also Super Gay. 

this is part of the 25 Days of Christmas: A BTS Anthology 

[Today]

Red bleeds into green and glitters magnificently on the snow. Lights and tinsel are strewn all over the yard of your parents’ house, creating a rather pretty collage of sparkles and swirls against the white backdrop. You wish you could appreciate it more. 

As it stands, however, you’ve been outside for hours untangling the decorative strands so that you can hang them on the gutters, eaves, and railings of the two story house behind you. Your mother had insisted you work inside but you know better. The cats - Mochi and Pablo - are your favorite in the world and you love them dearly, but one of their favorite things in the world has always been holiday decorations. The number of times you’ve had to stop them from chewing on lights of knocking the tree down is frankly ridiculous. So instead you’re unravelling everything so you can get started on what you’re sure is going to be your best year yet.

You’ve always loved decorating, of course, especially for the holidays. Getting up before dawn to go pick out one of the giant fir trees to stand in their living room, picking out new figurines for the Winter Village that sits on the mantle, helping your parents put ornaments on the tree. You love holiday decorating nearly as much as you love the feeling of victory in your chest. 

“If you had an organizer that wouldn’t take nearly as long,” says a voice from behind you. It’s melodic and deceptively sweet in spite of the lower register, and you don’t turn. You don’t want to give her the satisfaction. You don’t even respond, instead settling your gloved hands on your hips and eyeing the front porch so you can decide where to start. 

“Really? Ignoring me now? Tsk tsk, and here I thought you were better than being a sore loser.”

Continuing on your mission to pretend she isn’t there, you heft several yards of lights over your shoulder and head toward the ladder you have against the porch roof. You may as well start up high. 

“Interesting choice,” Yoonji mutters as she watches you. The hair on the back of your neck bristles, and you take a deep breath to calm and center yourself. “I’d heard that icicle lights were a bit last season, but I’m excited for this vintage look you’re going for. If you need more, let me know. I think the ones I used last year are still in the garage.”

“What do you want, Yoonji?” You huff, turning over your shoulder to glare at her. She looks entirely too at home in your yard with a steaming thermos in her mittened hands. 

“Just wanted to say hi. Wasn’t sure you were coming this year, considering how late you got in.”

“My flight was delayed for weather reasons,” you snap. 

“Ah. That’s why I always drive up instead.” There’s a pregnant pause that’s filled only with the huffs of your breath as you focus on the lights in front of you. “Oh, but you never got your license, did you? Ah, you should call me next year, we can carpool.”

“I got my license this past year,” You bite out. She doesn’t need to know that it took a few tries. It’s not your fault it makes you anxious to be behind the wheel. “Seriously. I have work to do.”

“Obviously,” Yoonji mutters. You flash her a glare and she just smiles back. “Just wanted to see how you were, if you needed any…” She pauses, eyes trailing over the explosion of decorations on your lawn with thinly veiled judgement in her eyes. “Help.”

“If I needed your help, I wouldn’t be winning this year’s contest.”

“By the looks of it, you aren’t winning this year’s contest anyway.” Her mutter doesn’t escape your notice. But that’s the real problem you have with Min Yoonji.

She’s sarcastic and blunt and kind of intimidatingly hot, but you can handle that. You are a strong, independent queer woman in the modern age and you are not about to let some random lesbian intimidate you, no matter how much you kind of wanted to fuck her in the past. Yoonji is not a problem for you. 

It’s the way she’s constantly putting you down, giving you backhanded compliments, and generally acting like she’s better than you. While winning your parents’ neighborhood’s annual Holiday Decorating Contest that their local Homeowner’s Association runs. Everyone gets a kick out of the friendly competition, the winners get a gift certificate to a Korean BBQ place, and a good time is had by all. 

Except you. 

Because you’ve made it your mission to win - to beat the current reigning champion of the past three years who stands on your lawn sipping what smells like hot cocoa and silently judging your decor choices like she didn’t put a massive inflatable pumpkin on the roof for Halloween. 

She watches you the entire time you hang up the lights, carefully attaching them to the edge of the awning covering the front porch. It isn’t until your father pulls into the driveway and you’re done with the upper half completely - about to start the railing - and descending the ladder one careful step at a time that she speaks again. 

“Those are hanging too low,” She tells you. She doesn’t seem to mind when you ignore her in favor of wrapping lights around the stair banister. 

“Hey there, Yoonji!” Your father calls as he starts to unload the groceries. “What brings you to this part of town?” They both laugh at the joke and you force back a gag. 

“Just hanging out,” She calls back. “Making sure your daughter doesn’t break her neck for some silly competition. You need help with those?” Your dad waves her off. 

“I’m not that old, but thank you. Besides, it looks like you’re needed elsewhere.” He gestures with one bag-laden hand, and both you and Yoonji turn. 

A large SUV pulls into the driveway across the street; the passenger door swings open before the vehicle even stops, and a girl - woman, really - launches herself out of the car. She’s across the street in record time, nearly tackling Yoonji to the snow with the force of her hug. Both look excited to see each other, a rare smile on Yoonji’s face that makes you burn with something that doesn’t feel quite like the usual rage. 

The two are talking rapidly in your front lawn, too harried and chaotic for you to make out much of anything besides the fact that they missed each other. They look comfortable with each other in a way you’ve never been and you force yourself to remember that you don’t care . Even as you eye the way the newcomer’s hand sits just that little bit too low on Yoonji’s back. 

The sounds of car doors closing and snow crunching draws your attention and you’re shocked to see another gorgeous girl making her way over. She looks as excited as the first, yet more subdued about it. 

Likely because they’re on a lawn that decidedly does not belong to them, but you could be wrong there. 

Both of the women are absolutely gorgeous, though, easily model material. The first has artfully styled dark hair that falls in perfect waves down her shoulders, and is delightfully curvy in all the places the world loves. Her cheekbones are to die for, makeup flawless, and you resist the urge to pluck at your own outfit, chosen for warmth over style. 

The second woman is no different; not quite as thicc, as Jimin would say, but the figure suits her, as does the straight platinum hair that hangs down to her lower back. It’s stark against the black of her expensive-looking coat, and it only adds to the energy she carries that draws you in even as you wish it wouldn’t. 

“Oh, how rude of me! These are my neighbors,” Yoonji says after a minute. You don’t miss the way she hesitates saying your name, or the almost predatory smiles the other two women get. 

“So you’re the one,” The dark-haired one says. You don’t get a chance to question it before the blonde cuts her off. 

“I’m Chungha,” She says with a friendly smile. “And this is Hyejin.”

“My friends call me Hwasa, though,” The brunette adds. “We hate to tear her away but it’s been ages since we’ve seen our girl.”

“You saw me like two weeks ago,” Yoonji mutters. You’re too caught off-guard by anyone calling Yoonji their ‘girl’ to respond, but you don’t miss the way her cheeks tinge pink from something that isn’t the cold. 

“So we’re gonna steal her away now,” Hwasa continues, oblivious. You don’t protest, letting your father chat amicably while they say their goodbyes and you look between the girls. 

Hwasa’s hand is still lingering on Yoonji’s lower back, something neither of them seem bothered by. That’s something that friends do, though, right? Jimin squeezes your ass constantly and the two of you definitely aren’t together. 

You hear your name and a question but you can’t seem to really focus beyond a mumbled agreement to whatever you were asked. The way Chungha’s eyes glance over her companions feels like something more, but you can never really be sure. Not in this day and age.

But when they head back across the road to Yoonji’s house, Hwasa doesn’t hesitate to lace their fingers together. Yoonji lets her do it, and the glimpse of the grin and the flushed cheeks you see make your heart clench. 

Paired with the way Chungha eyes the pair as she follows behind - a decidedly more than friendly gaze - and every alarm in your brain is going off. She looks ready to jump them both the second they get in the door. 

“I’m impressed,” Your father says. 

“I’m not done yet,” You tell him, turning back to the decorations sprawled across the lawn. “I’ve still got to-”

“No, no,” He interrupts. “Not the decorations. That you’re finally making strides to be nicer to Yoonji.” You stare blankly at him, not understanding what part of your attitude towards her said anything about being nicer. 

And anyway, why shouldn’t she be nicer to you?

“The party…?” You blink at his words, looking in all respects like a startled rabbit. “The annual Min family holiday party? That they just invited you to? The one that you said you would attend?”

“I’m sorry, I did what. ”

“It just happened, sweetheart. I was standing right here for the entire thing.”

“No,” You tell him firmly. “No, because I would remember telling Min fucking Yoonji that I was going to her stupid holiday party.”

Your father just shakes his head. “Then perhaps we ought to get you a doctor’s appointment, sweetie, because I watched it all happen not five seconds ago.” He pats your shoulder, doing his best to show his solidarity for your sudden idiocy, and makes his way inside. 

You spin to watch him go, all the potential protests and complaints clogging together in your throat and leaving you silent. He gets to the bottom step before you’re storming angrily back to your decorations, because whatever , you’ll go to the stupid party. 

Yoonji can have her dumb holiday party with those overhyped cookies your father always raves about. She can have her caroling and her sing-a-long that your mother adores. She can even have her two super hot model girlfriends, because you’re a modern woman, and sometimes that’s what a relationship is. Whatever. It’s her prerogative. You don’t care. It is not going to affect you, or your decorating, at all. 

You scream a little when the icicle lights you so carefully hung knock against your father’s head on his way inside. 

[Three Years Ago]

“You look like you’re struggling,” a voice says behind you. 

They aren’t wrong, either. You’re balanced precariously atop the porch roof your parents’ new hours, hanging garland off the edges so your dad doesn’t have to do it himself. 

You turn to see who’s talking to you - especially since you don’t actually know anyone, this being your first visit to the neighborhood - and very nearly have to hold on to the edge beside you to stop yourself from falling off. 

The man that stands on your parents’ front walkway is easily the most beautiful you’ve seen - a casual elegance to his stance that you’ve not seen outside of celebrities. His leather jacket looks warm and comfortable while remaining stylish, and the all-black underneath suits him while highlighting the lithe form. All of it is perfectly complemented by the mop of jet-black hair tucked under a knitted beanie, and you can’t help but wonder what kind of neighborhood your parents have moved to, when models are just walking around the streets. 

“Uh…” You would kick yourself for sudden ineloquence if you thought you could without falling straight on your ass. The guy bites back and obvious smile, ducking his head for a moment to do so. 

“I haven’t seen you around before,” He calls as he looks back up at you. “Did you move in recently?”

“No, I don’t live here.” He raises a brow and you huff. “It’s my parents’ place. I’m just doing their decorating for them.” The guy nods and starts to say something else, but he’s cut off before he can. 

“Jimin-ah, what are you doing?” You look back to the garland as someone else walks up, some girl based on the quick glimpse you get while tugging on a strand that doesn’t want to untangle. You give them some semblance of privacy as the guy - Jimin - relays to her everything you’ve said so far. It only strikes you as a little odd that he’s being so detailed; she could be a jealous girlfriend, for all you know. 

“Oh,” the girl says, tone as dry as the dead leaves piled in the corner of the yard, “Is this supposed to beat me somehow?”

“Yoonji,” Jimin scolds under his breath. 

“Sorry,” You say, standing up to your full height. It’s a considerable distance considering you’re still on the porch roof. “But what is that supposed to mean? Is there some kind of competition I don’t know about?”

“Oh,” Yoonji repeats, surprise evident in her voice this time as she eyes you. You take the opportunity to do the same, and you’re glad the nip in the air already turned your cheeks pink because fuck. 

Yoonji’s god damn gorgeous. She’s slightly taller than the average girl, even in the winter boots she’s wearing, but she wears the height well; her shoulders are straight and her chin has a natural upward tilt to it, like she’s used to looking down at people in more ways than one. She’s not dressed fancy - just thick leggings and an oversized sweater - but she looks like she belongs in a commercial or something. Her hair is similar to Jimin’s - pitch black and soft - but hers is glossier, more like a cat’s coat; her cheeks are pink from the cold, her lips are slightly parted and invite too many thoughts about if they’re as soft as they look, Even in such casual circumstances, she’s radiant, even as she says-

“That explains a lot.”

It takes a second longer than you’d like to admit for your brain to resume function, but when it does, you huff with indignation. 

“Excuse me?” You hiss. “What, are my decor choices not good enough for whatever this competition is?”

“No,” Yoonji says slowly, cocking a brow, and you see red - and it isn’t the lights from the house across the street. You don’t even let her continue before you’re defending yourself.

“Well I’m sorry that not all of us can decorate like they just stepped out of...of…Better Homes And Gardens, or some shit like that. Some of us focus more on making sure we like our decorations and that they actually mean something instead of just doing things for the aesthetic .”

Yoonji mutters something under her breath but you can’t make it out; it’s lost among the breeze that kicks up and the soft sound of laughing that Jimin is trying desperately to muffle. You huff a little and return to your mission of dragging the garland up on top of the roof, a new determination filling your chest. 

“Shouldn’t your boyfriend be doing this?” Yoonji asks, crossing her arms over her chest and cocking a brow. You freeze. You can hear Jimin’s quiet inhale, and when you look up, he’s got his lips puffed out like that meme of that guy doing the duckface. You let your hand rest on your hips and give this girl the best glare you can - which you have to admit is quite powerful when you need it to be. 

Like now, when this random super hot girl is judging you for being single and also assuming you’re interested in men. The nerve of her. 

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” You tell her firmly. She frowns a little, and you wish the expression wasn’t so cute. 

“Why not?” 

You scoff. “ Because,” You tell her firmly, “Not only am I happy by myself and don’t need someone else to be complete, I happen to prefer women. You may be happy with a member of the opposite sex,” You wave at where she and Jimin stand close together and return to trying to pull up the piece of garland that’s probably stuck on something, “But I tend to lean the other way.”

Yoonji just arches a perfect brow at you, but she at least doesn’t bust out laughing like Jimin does. 

“Oh man,” He says, wiping tears from his eyes as he stumbles forward, “Imagine looking at us and thinking we’re straight. Oh my god, imagine, can you believe-”

“So why don’t you have a girlfriend doing this then?” Yoonji asks. Her cheeks are a little redder, but you’re pretty sure it’s just from the cold. “Wouldn’t it be better?”

“Because I’m a strong,” You heave another string of garland up, “Independent,” heave, “Woman!” You give one last tug on the garland and it flies loose, sending you landing back on the flat of your ass atop the porch roof. It doesn’t hurt too bad other than the fact that you can see a smile playing on Yoonji’s lips and your pride has already taken a few hits. 

“Well then,” Yoonji says, patting Jimin’s arm and stepping back, “We’ll stop distracting you, Miss Independent.” She and Jimin walk across the street, and you pretend not to notice the way she looks back every so often. 

[Today]

“No, it needs to be taller.”

“Sweetheart if it’s any taller, it won’t fit in the house.”

You send your mother a frustrated glance and shake your head. “It will, it just needs to be the right height and shape.”

“Why can’t we just get a fake tree? They’re so much easier to move and put together, wouldn’t that be better?”

“No,” You hiss, scandalized. “Real trees are better overall for the environment, not to mention how you can’t manufacture the smell of pine trees that come with them that set the entire atmosphere. Plus this nursery uses the profits to plant more trees both here and in areas that suffer with deforestation. It’s for a good cause.”

“And that’s why we had to get here at five in the morning?” Your mother asks sarcastically. 

“Yes,” You reply firmly, “Because otherwise all the good trees will be gone and we’ll be forced to choose from the leftovers.” Your mother mumbles something else under her breath, but you don’t hear it. You’re distracted because there it is. The perfect tree.

You’re two steps away from your perfect tree - tall, evenly spaced, full branches, well balanced, with the perfect shade of evergreen - when you hear her. 

“It’s over here,” Yoonji’s voice echoes. “I need the perfect tree, and it’s the best one I’ve found in years.”

You ignore the way your mother lights up and shush her when she tries to call out to Yoonji. You listen closer; your nemesis is still talking, something about needing a tree for someone - which, who leaves tree shopping to the last minute? The only reason you’re here is that you got in late because of the weather - but her voice is definitely getting closer. 

Panicking, you look at your tree. If Yoonji sees it, it’s definitely over. It’s perfect, there’s no way she’ll want any other, and what Yoonji wants, she gets. 

The only real explanation for what happens next is that you’re running on four hours’ sleep and Yoonji tends to make you a little stupid. 

“Get the other side,” You whisper to your mom. She stares at you and doesn’t move. “Hurry up, before they get here!”

Your mother watches for a few seconds as you wrap your arms around the tree, getting pricked in the face with pine needles as you do, and start to tug. It’s a heavy tree, and it’s only just started to shift when the voices get closer. 

“Seriously?!” You exclaim in a harried whisper to your mom. “Not even a push?!”

“You’re trying to steal a tree,” Your mother says. “From a nursery that gives to charity. I’m not helping with that.”

“I’m gonna pay for it later!” Your mother sighs and starts pushing halfheartedly on the other side of the tree.   

“Shit, no, I meant-” Your words are cut off by a grunt as you manage to catch the tree before it falls entirely. It’s heavy against your shoulder, and of course that’s when Yoonji turns the corner, followed by the broadest man you’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing. Both stop in their tracks at the sight of you. 

“Hey Seokjin.” You say, faking a laugh. “How are you? Haven’t seen you this year. Business good?”

“Yeah,” He says, cocking a brow, “When people don’t try to run off with our trees.”

“Who? Me? I would never!” The tree starts digging into your shoulder and your legs tremble. “I just thought I’d load it up for you, y’know, save you the trouble.”

“Oh did you?” There’s amusement in Seokjin’s voice as he fiddles with his ring. “You know our policy, you have to pay before loading.”

You start to stammer out some bullshit about him being busy but you’re only halfway through the excuse when Yoonji says your name.

“It’s alright,” the woman says with a bored voice. “She was loading it up for me. That’s the tree I was coming to show you anyway.”

The weight finally overtakes you, and you crumble under it. You manage to twist so that nothing important is trapped under the trunk, but you get a faceful of needles for your efforts. 

“Maybe you should do it, though, Jin,” Yoonji says. “It looks a little much for the poor dear.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Seokjin huffs. He pulls the tree off of you with what looks like little effort, hefting it over his shoulder so the base drags the ground. “Where are you parked, Yoonji?”

“Load it onto their car,” Yoonji responds. Both you and your mother stare at her in shock. “Consider it an early Christmas present.”

“Oh, well isn’t that sweet of you,” Your mother coos. She points the way to Seokjin and the two head off, chatting amicably as they go. 

You narrow your eyes at Yoonji where she stands, not even offering to help you up from the snow where you still lay.

“What’s wrong with it?” You ask. All she does is quirk a brow. “The tree. Why are you giving it to me? You wouldn’t unless there was something wrong with it. So what is it? Termites? Leaking too much sap? What?”

Yoonji shrugs. “You wanted it,” She says simply. Your blood boils, and she steps back like she doesn’t even notice. 

“You aren’t even going to help me up?” You call as she starts to walk away.

“Good try, Miss Independent,” She calls back. “I think Jungkook’s still in the office if you need him.”

You half-scream a growl as you flop your head back into the snow. A pout forms as you watch the sky start to color with the sunrise. 

You’re going to have to throw away your perfect tree.

[Two Years Ago]

It’s the day of the contest. You’re confident in your decor choices this year, even if you couldn’t get every single thing you had in mind, you decide as you wander the neighborhood to scope out the competition. Last year you went simple and got second place, and you’ve switched it up this year. All out with the best decorations possible. 

You’re going to win. Losing isn’t an option, not again. Not when you were beat by her. 

It doesn’t matter, you remind yourself as you turn the corner onto your parents’ street. Your decorations are as good as they can be. 

Your mood sours a little when you see a figure in the yard across from yours, but the soft beanie and oversized hoodie cheer you up once you notice them. 

“Yoongi!” You call with a smile. The man turns and gives you a gummy grin. “I didn’t know you were in town!”

“Yeah, we got in late last night. Kinda crashed once we did. Then someone dragged us all out to the store early this morning.” He rolls his eyes and you laugh. 

“Well the house looks good. Not as good as mine, obviously,” You tease, “But good.”

“Yeah, you might win this year. Yoonji’s got some good competition.”

You sniffle a little, doing your best to contain your distaste for his twin. 

The Min twins, nearly identical save for the fact that they aren’t the same gender, are easily the best and worst things about the neighborhood. Worst because of that pompous priss Yoonji, obviously. 

Best because Min Yoongi is one of the sweetest people you’ve ever known even if he is a bit shy. You met him last year, when he’d carried in an obscene amount of groceries for your mother and you’d almost mistaken him for his sister. You’d made him coffee to say thanks, the two of you talked, and you’ve been friends ever since. 

“No Jimin?” You ask him. He gestures vaguely to the roof, where you can see a small blue hat bopping around. “Ah. I take it you aren’t finished yet, then.”

“Do you know any other reason my sister would have my boyfriend on the roof?” You share a grin with him as you both watch a strand of lights fly off somewhere. “Apparently she needed to make some last minute adjustments. That’s why she dragged us all out to the store, to hunt down some stuff for her.”

“Oh, did you happen to see one of those big dancing snowmen? The one that plays music, you can control it all from your phone? I looked everywhere and couldn’t find one, it’s the one thing I was missing. Had to use an inflatable yeti instead.” Yoongi frowns. 

“Huh, how weird. That’s what we were-”

“I got it all ready, it just needs to be plugged in.”

Yoonji strides out from the house - looking as good as ever in some plaid pants, how dare she - and stops dead when she looks up and sees you. 

“What are you doing here?” She snaps, and you scoff. 

“Visiting a friend,” You respond with a nod towards Yoongi. You take a glance at the phone in her hand, then up to where you can see Jimin standing up a snowman. “Did you seriously steal my idea?!”

“What? No.”

“Really. Because I distinctly remember telling Jungkook about this yesterday while I was picking up my tree and you were right beside him talking to Seokjin. I was even going to put it on the roof so everyone could watch it dance to Pentatonix covers.”

“Like I would listen when you talk,” Yoonji says. Yoongi sighs but you can barely hear it over the flood of rage. 

“Y’know what? Get fucked,” You tell her as you storm out of their yard and back to your parents’ house. 

“I guess you won’t be coming to the holiday party then?” She calls over the road. You send her a rather vulgar hand gesture in return that you hope your parents don’t see. By the time you get inside, the snowman is playing a Mariah Carey Christmas song and you kind of want to set it on fire. 

You do not win the competition that year. 

[Today]

Maybe you should have listened to your parents when they said not to drive today. Probably you should have taken the big ass truck that your father keeps in the garage specifically for when the weather is bad, because it’s got that fancy four wheel drive and traction control and all sorts of stuff meant to keep people safe in the middle of floods and monsoons and blizzards. You definitely should have remembered to charge your phone before you left the house.

Especially considering that your car isn’t great in the snow now falling gently from the sky to land on your hood, mixing with the smoke pouring out from under it. 

You’re lucky you managed to drift to the side of the road and get your hazard lights on, but that’s where said luck runs out. Your phone is dead, it’s several miles back to the house, even further than that to town, and the temperature is already dropping into dangerous territory. 

You’ve been sitting here for three hours, though, tucked inside the residual warmth of your car with spare blankets wrapped around you as you watched night fall. You’re not sure what else you can do. There aren’t any wild animals around here, or anything like that, but it’s definitely too dangerous to trek back to the house. 

“I should’ve just walked back earlier,” You groan as you bundle the blankets closer. “At least it was warmer then. Stupid car, stupid car, stupid me , didn’t charge your stupid phone, how dumb am I.”

Your tirade against yourself continues for several minutes and includes a few very crafty curses that would make your mother gasp. You’re in the middle of another when lights shine into your mirrors, nearly blinding you. 

The lights slow and come to a stop behind your car. A door shuts and you scramble to exit, ready to get on your knees and beg whoever it is to give you a ride to literally anywhere that has heat. 

It takes a second too long for you recognize the shiny purple jeep and the elegant black peacoat backlit by the headlights, and by the time you do, she’s already got an angry snarl on her face. 

“What the fuck are you doing out here?” She demands. You shiver in response and glare at her. 

“Oh, just hanging out, thought I’d take a little nap beside the road in the freezing cold, the usual y’know,” You bite back. She rolls her eyes and starts back towards her jeep. You frown, watching her, and she stops with one foot inside and her hand on the door. 

“What are you waiting for?” She asks. You shrug, and she huffs. “Get in the fucking car, I’m taking you home before you turn into an icicle.” You don’t move and her frown deepens. “Fine, but if you die out here, I’m not the one that’s going to tell your parents it was because you were too stubborn to accept a ride.”

Guilt gnaws at you, and with a frustrated huff, you stomp your way over to the passenger side of her jeep and climb inside. 

She’s careful as she drives, you notice. Long fingers wrapped tight around the wheel, jaw tensed so hard it could be stone, and one arm leaned against the window after she’s finished turning the heat up as high it will go. 

It’s not even been five minutes when she tosses a thick, fleece-lined blanket at you. You look at her, ready to be pissed off, and she cuts you off before you can complain. 

“Your teeth are chattering so loud that I can’t hear myself think. Try not to get hypothermia before we get there, okay?” You huff a disbelieving laugh but curl into the warmth of the blanket anyway. It feels almost too-warm, like when you pull clothes out of the dryer, but it’s a comfort against your freezing skin. 

“Why are you even here? You aren’t heading back from town, you’re not heading to town. Do you just drive around looking for lost girls?” 

“No,” She says carefully, hand tightening around the wheel. It’s all she says for a full minute before she sighs. “Your parents got worried.”

“What?! ”

“They said you went to town to pick up some salt for the sidewalk and drive, and that it had been hours, and that they hadn’t heard from you again even though you took your phone. They were scared that something had happened, so I…”

Your sarcastic response dies on your tongue when you look at her. Really look. 

Her shoulders are tense and set, in a way you haven’t seen before. Her brows are creased, and the pretty lips you refuse to acknowledge are set in a thin line and turned down at the corners. There’s something fizzling in the air between the two of you, something new and unknown.

“...Were you worried about me?” You ask quietly. She shoots you a look and then laughs, a second too late with not enough amusement. 

“Drink that,” She says, gesturing to a thermos. “It’s coffee, it’ll help you warm up a little.” You take the thermos, thoroughly enjoying the warmth it provides your hands, and take a sip. You don’t know why, but you’re surprised when it’s the exact way you like it. You shoot her a thoughtful look, wondering just how else she might surprise you. 

The rest of the ride is quiet, only the lull of the engine and the tires. Neither of you talk much; perhaps because she’s too angry, but you’re too distracted by your own thoughts to say much. 

There’s no way, right? The two of you hate each other, you have since you met. It tints all your interactions, colors every single conversation where either of you are even mentioned, it’s one of the basic facts of the universe. 

So why, as Yoonji pulls into your parent’s driveway and smiles at where they stand watching from the window, do you have a feeling like maybe you’re wrong?

[One Year Ago]

“Really? Inflatables?”

You scowl and turn, already prepared. There stands Yoonji, arms crossed. The weather is fairly mild for the season, and she’s taking advantage of that. High waisted shorts, an off-the-shoulder top, lace-up boots, leather jacket, she looks like every rebellious lesbian you’ve ever dreamt about, and it only makes you hate her more. 

“Yes, inflatables. Because some of us like a little fun. Besides, you stole my dancing snowman last year, and I wanted something you aren’t going to rip off.”

“I didn’t steal your-”

“Whatever,” You interrupt, not wanting to even bother to listen. “Don’t you have someone else to bother?”

She starts to say something else, but the slam of the front door cuts her off. You turn and grin, waving. 

“Tae! C’mon, put it over here!” 

Taehyung smiles and makes his way over, inflatable deer in his hands. Yoonji’s silent as he gets there and sets the animal where you direct. When he’s finished he turns to you, boxy smile and all, to make sure he’s good, and glances at Yoonji. 

“Oh, you didn’t say you had a friend over,” He whines. “Now I’m being rude. Hi, I’m Kim Taehyung.”

Yoonji doesn’t answer, merely eyes with distaste the hand he’s got extended. 

“Right. Well then, I’m gonna go get the fawn, alright? Be right back.” He smiles at you, and you watch as he jogs back into the house.

“I thought you only brought Namjoon with you this year.” You turn at Yoonji’s words. 

“No, Tae came as well. It’s a good thing, too, because Joon is utterly useless now since he met Yoongi and Jimin. Little punks stole my best friend.” You’re only mostly kidding. You’re happy for Namjoon - he’s been somewhat lonely these days, and now he’s got not one but two handsome men vying for his affection. 

It does reinforce your own loneliness, though. 

“I thought you liked girls.” You look back at Yoonji and notice she’s got a small pout on her face. It’s cute. 

“I do like girls.”

“Then why is Taehyung here?” The way she says his name is full of spite, and it makes you laugh. 

“Sorry, I didn’t realize that I had to get your permission when I want to bring my friends and loved ones up to visit my parents for the holidays.” You adjust the inflatable deer, posing it so that it looks like it’s glaring at Yoonji’s house in anger. 

Taehyung comes back out before Yoonji can say anything. He’s got his jacket off now, and he does look good in the simple white shirt and the headband that makes his hair look even fluffier than usual. You just really can’t focus on anything but the inflatable fawn he’s got tucked under one arm and the matching rabbit tucked under the other. 

Yoonji’s eyes narrow ever so slightly, and you roll your eyes. 

“You need another deer,” She spits before she turns around and stomps back to her house. Taehyung shoots you a look. 

“I take it that’s Yoonji, then,” He says with a laugh. You make a puking sound and he tuts at you. “You’re supposed to be nice. That is not nice.”

“Yeah, well, she didn’t steal your dancing snowman, did she?”

Across the street, you can see Yoonji fuming as she stands on the porch, talking to Yoongi about something or other. They both look over and while your first instinct is to turn around like you haven’t been watching them, you resist. Instead, you give Yoongi a bright wave. He doesn’t return it but his frown lessens slightly, though that could be because Jimin stumbles, laughing, out of your parents’ house with Namjoon not far behind him. 

Both of them have hearts in their eyes, and it only gets worse when they look at Yoongi. 

“That’s disgusting,” Taehyung says with a wrinkle of his nose. “Eugh, they’re so couple-y and gross. Remind me not to come next year if Namjoon’s here.”

“Oh no,” You tell him with a grin as you wrap him in a hug. He’s warm and solid against you, as he always is, and you thoroughly enjoy it. “If I have to struggle, you do too.”

“Fine,” He whines dramatically. “But I’m bringing Hobi so he has to suffer, too.” You laugh and set him to work organizing the inflatable animals. There are eyes on your back the entire time, but you refuse to turn around and give Yoonji the satisfaction. 

Especially once you realize that you do need another deer to make it look balanced and perfect.

[Today]

The holiday party is well underway by the time you arrive at Yoonji’s, however reluctantly you do so. Your mother and father disappear almost immediately, sucked into conversations with people they’ve known for years now; Tae and Hobi are tucked into a corner, nursing glasses of cider while they look at the rather extensive Winter Village display on the Mins mantle; Namjoon has been here for hours already, and is no doubt locked away in Yoongi’s room with the man himself, and Jimin, and you choose to believe that they’re having some philosophical discussion and not doing anything else. 

You think you catch a glimpse of Jungkook amidst the people from the neighborhood, but by the time you get to where he was, there’s no sign of him, or the broad-shouldered man he’s usually with. Abandoned in the kitchen, you pour yourself some cider and spike it with a hint of rum, just to get you through the night. 

“Where’s your boyfriend?” A voice says. 

When you turn, you find Hwasa perched on the countertop, Chungha leaning back between her legs. Both are watching you curiously, and both look absolutely fantastic in figure-hugging dresses and tights and heeled boots. They look like they just stepped off a runway, but the look in their eyes feels more like a panther than a model. 

“What boyfriend?” You ask eventually. 

“Tall, great chest, soft hair,” Hwasa says. When you just stare at her, she smiles a little. “Boxy smile.”

“Oh, Tae?” You laugh a little. “He isn’t my boyfriend. I’m not even interested in him like that, he’s just my best friend.” The two women share a look and Chungha kisses her cheek before heading out of the room. Hwasa eyes you and you have the distinct feeling you’re being judged. 

You thought you looked okay when you picked out the simple but nicer outfit; black sweater, maroon skirt, tall black boots. It’s classy but casual. You’re sure of it. 

At least you were. 

“So tell me about this thing with Yoonji,” Hwasa eventually says. You nearly choke on your cider. 

“I mean...there’s not much to tell. We’ve hated each other ever since we met four years ago.”

“Oh?” Something lights up in her eyes that you don’t particularly like. 

“Look, no offense to you or your girlfriend, Yoonji’s just...kinda mean for my tastes. I guess some people are into that.”

“Elaborate.” Her tone leaves no room for argument, and you find yourself explaining before you can stop. You tell her nearly everything, about all the shit Yoonji’s done to you, and by the time you’re finished, she’s actually smiling.

“Like...I’m sure you love her and all, otherwise you wouldn’t be dating her, but-”

“What? ” She nearly falls off the counter, she’s laughing so hard, and when you start to help steady her, she just waves you off. “No, sweetie, I’m dating Chungha, not Yoonji.”

“I thought you were dating both of them? Did you all break up?”

“Oh my god , she wasn’t kidding,” Hwasa says breathlessly, still fighting back giggles. “Holy shit, this explains so much. Ha, oh my god, no, we never were dating Yoonji, she’s just our best friend. Like you and that Taehyung guy?”

“Oh.” You feel foolish; it makes sense, friends can be just as physically close as romantic partners. You and Taehyung are proof enough of that. “I...just assumed…”

“I know, but you’re definitely wrong. You drink more cider, stew on that, maybe rethink things from another perspective, I’ve got to tell Chungha about this, it’s too good.” Hwasa hops off the counter with ease and disappears out the door before you can ask her to explain what she means about other perspectives. You can hear giggles as they slowly drown in the chatter of the party and the soft carols playing over the speakers. 

You stay in the kitchen for a while, nursing your cider and thinking. If Yoonji doesn’t have two model-hot girlfriends, then could you have been onto something in the jeep that night? You’ve hated her for so long, and assumed that she hates you in return, but if you were wrong about the girlfriends, then maybe you’re wrong about that, too. 

Something enters your vision and you look up, nearly spitting out your drink as you do. 

Yoonji stands in front of you, in a slinky green velvet dress that she keeps tugging the bottom of. It doesn’t look like anything she usually wears, down to the floral lace tights and the wedge heels that make her even taller than she already is, and she looks slightly uncomfortable if the burn in her cheeks is any indication. 

The worst part is that she looks good. Like, good good. It suits her, even if it isn’t her usual style, and for once you can’t deny the attraction swirling within your stomach. 

“What are you wearing?” She asks angrily, glaring down at your clothes like they kicked her dog - whom you have not seen tonight, which is a travesty, because you adore Holly. A cough echoes from somewhere behind the two of you, and Yoonji wrinkles her nose. “I mean...I like...your outfit.”

You quirk a brow at her and set your cider down on the counter nearby. “Really? Because it looks like you want to tear it off and then set it on fire.” Something complicated happens with her expression and a spark ignites in your mind. 

“Are you sick?” She asks. Her face does something else complicated as a groan echoes from nearby, and something painful twists in your stomach. You really didn’t think you looked that bad. “I mean, after the other day. With the snow. And the cold. Are you sick?”

“Is...this your way of telling me I look ill?” You ask her. She frowns. “Because if wanted me to leave your party, all you had to do was say that, you don’t have to insult me.” You head toward the door of the kitchen and there’s a scrambling that sounds much too loud for just her friends. 

So your friends are also eavesdropping. Fantastic. Now everyone knows she’s insulted you. Just what you needed tonight. 

Her hand catches your wrist as you’re about to leave the kitchen. “I didn’t mean it like that,” She mumbles, not making eye contact. “I just...wanted to make sure you were feeling okay. It was really cold that night, and you were out there for a long time.” 

“So, what, you suddenly care? Why? Because you don’t want to win by default or something?”

“No, because I-” She cuts herself off with a groan, and you’re glad there are so many people around, because it seems like everyone’s distracted with something else. They’re too busy to notice this absolutely disastrous conversation. 

“Hey look,” Taehyung says, appearing from nowhere and pulling roughly on Yoonji’s arm until she’s standing beside you in the doorway. “Mistletoe! How random! Guess you have to kiss!”

“That’s a stupid tradition,” Yoonji spits, and you’re inclined to agree with her. “Forcing people to kiss just because of some plant? How is that okay? Besides, it’s got nothing to do with the actual myth behind it, and-” She sounds like she could go on forever, but you cut her off. 

“And it’s not like we want to kiss anyway.” Her grip on your wrist slackens, and you turn to look at her. Uncertainty fills you as you look at her expression, because the only word that comes to mind is crestfallen. “Right?”

“I...I mean…” Taehyung disappears as Yoonji searches for words, and you just know he’s hanging out somewhere nearby to watch it all happen. 

“Because we’re nemeses.” You say slowly. “We hate each other.”

“Do we?” Yoonji asks quietly, threading her fingers through yours. “Do you?”

“Don’t you? ” You ask her. “You’ve been nothing but rude to me since we met. You’ve insulted me, and stolen my decorating ideas, and-”

“No,” She says quickly. “No, I never meant any of it like that, you just never gave me a chance to explain. You’re...you’re so pretty, and I always get flustered around pretty people, and I say the wrong things.”

“You told me I wasn’t as good if I didn’t have a significant other the first time we met.”

“I was trying to figure out if you were interested in women, and when you said you were, I just...panicked, because I figured you had someone, because you’re…” She gives a wave to your general being. 

“You stole my dancing snowman.”

“I did not! I heard someone talking about a dancing snowman at the tree nursery, and I didn’t realize it was you, and I thought, since I couldn’t stop thinking about you, I’d get a dancing snowman that would play this cheesy playlist thing I made for you. I didn’t know you were looking for it, and I didn’t steal your idea. Not on purpose, anyway.”

“Okay, well...last year you were so rude! And you said you wouldn’t listen when I talked!”

“I thought…” She trails off, looking ashamed. “I thought you were dating Taehyung, and I got jealous. But the listening comment wasn’t like that! It’s because I always zone out because I like to listen to you talk, because your voice is so pretty, but I never hear what you actually say, and also you just...are really pretty. So I get distracted.”

“I…” You’re rather speechless; your entire world has shifted on its axis. “I thought you hated me.”

“Never.” Yoonji insists. “I just don’t know how to talk to pretty girls.”

“You hang out with Hwasa. And Chungha.”

“Yeah, and?” Her brows furrow. “What’s your point?” If you could, you would keysmash at her, but as it stands, you just gape. 

“Uh, they’re literally model gorgeous?”

“Oh, are they?” She looks down at where your fingers are still entwined with hers. “I hadn’t noticed.”

You blink at her, and she looks up at you. There’s a faint smile playing on her lips, and something bright in her eyes that you haven’t seen before. 

“I’m sorry,” You say, shaking your head. “I just still don’t-”

“Will you shut up?” Yoonji asks, free hand coming to gently glide across your cheek. “And let me kiss you?” Your jaw shuts with a snap and you nod. 

Her lips are soft against your own, and your breath catches in your throat as you return the kiss. Her hand moves to grip your jaw, tilting your head ever so slightly so the two of you fit together that little bit better, and your hands come to rest on her hips. 

Electricity sparks through you to her. She pulls back just a little and you’re distracted by the way her tongue darts out to wet her lips. 

“This might be moving a little fast, since we hated each other an hour ago-”

“You hated me an hour ago,” She corrects. 

“But I would be very, very happy taking this to a more private area so I can express to you just how apologetic I am that I thought you hated me.” You tear your gaze from her lips to look at her face. Her eyes are dark, pupils blown out at the mere thought. 

“Upstairs,” She growls, already pushing you in the direction of the staircase. You’re both speeding through the crowd of people as fast as you can without being obvious, and you have to help her every few feet because she’s wobbly in her heels, but by the time you make it up the stairs and into her room, you’re both desperate. 

Her mouth meets yours with a fire behind it that you’ve never felt before, and you hardly even get the door closed before she pushes you back against it. Your tongue darts along the seam of her lips and she grants you entrance, and you could moan at just the taste of her if you were just a little weaker. 

“Do you know how many times I’ve thought about this?” She whispers, moving to nip at your neck. Her hands are under your sweater and you don’t even remember them getting there, but you can’t complain as they move to cup your breasts and tweak your nipples through your bra. “Can you even imagine how many times I’ve dreamt of touching you? Tasting you? Hearing you moan?” 

She bites, hard and rough, and you can’t stop the moan that escapes you. How she possibly knows that you like that is something you don’t have the energy to ponder, nor the will to question. 

“Please,” You breathe, hands tangling in her hair as she sucks a mark into the skin of your throat. She’s slotted between your thighs and your hips are rutting against hers ever so slightly, desperate for some friction. You know you’ve already soaked through your panties, which is a feat considering all she’s done is play with your nipples a little and kiss you like you’ve never been kissed. 

“What is it, angel?” Her voice is deeper than usual, roughened by the desire coursing through your veins and hers, and it only makes you wetter. “What would you like me to do?”

“Anything,” You plead. “Please, just touch me.” 

“Anything?” Yoonji mutters. She chuckles, low and raspy and so unbearably attractive that you want to scream. You almost do scream, from frustration, when she pulls her hands away from your nipples, but she drops to her knees and you forgive her. 

Yoonji kisses up your thighs, from the edge of your boots all the way to where the hem of your skirt hits mid-thigh, and her hands are warm as they slide underneath. She doesn’t stop kissing you, not even as she lifts the fabric of your skirt and nips at the crease where your thighs meet your hips. Still, she’s so far away from where you need her, that you can’t help your whine. 

“Patience, angel,” She whispers as she glides one finger along your fabric-covered lips. Your hips rut forward on instinct, and she laughs a little. 

“You stole my dancing snowman, you could at least be quick about this,” You mutter. 

“What’s the fun in being rushed?” She leans forward to mouth at your pussy through your underwear and your legs tremble slightly. She’s gentle as her hands slide your underwear down to pool around your ankles, and even more gentle as they glide back up to rest on your thighs. “But I’ll be nice this time. Besides, I’ve been dreaming of what this pussy tastes like for years.”

Anything else you might say to her is cut off with a moan as her tongue starts to tease at your clit. One of your hands comes to rest on the back of her hair before you even realize you’ve moved, and she takes that as all the encouragement she needs. 

Yoonji eats pussy like it’s the last meal she’ll ever have, and you’re in absolute awe. The way her tongue moves against you is absolute bliss, no matter where it is; she teases at your entrance, sliding the very tip of her tongue inside to gather your wetness before she runs the flat of it up to your clit, where she circles and sucks mercilessly before moving back down to thrust it in and out and in and out relentlessly. She coaxes an orgasm out of you faster than anyone else ever has, and even as your writhing against the door with her head under your skirt, she doesn’t stop. 

Instead, she slides one long finger inside of you and keeps it there. She doesn’t move it, doesn’t even allow it to twitch, but it’s there and you can feel it as she wraps her lips around your clit and sucks, making your clench around her. She moans into your pussy, too, the entire time she’s at work between your legs, and it only turns you on more when you glance down to see her hand between her legs. 

“Yoonji, please, I want, please, I wanna taste you too, please,” You beg, tugging gently on her hair until she pulls back. Her chin is covered in your cum and the sight is so unbelievably unerotic that you could probably come just from that. 

“Take this off,” She growls, pulling on your skirt as she stands. You do as she says without hesitation, more than willing to get naked if it means getting your mouth on her, and by the time your boots are in the corner with the rest of your clothes, she’s just as naked as you are. 

And god, she’s beautiful. 

Your lips meet hers again as you push her towards the bed, and you can taste yourself on her tongue as it slides against yours. The two of you tumble onto the mattress and you situate yourself between her thighs. It isn’t until you’ve got her legs spread wide and your licking and sucking at her nipples that you register that her face is flushed with something new. 

“What is it?” You ask, panting, as you detach from her - beautiful, wonderful, adorable, perfect - tits. “Do you not want me to? I don’t have to, I just would really like to, it’s up to you.”

“No, it’s not that, I’ve just never…” She trails off, looking embarrassed, and realization smacks you in the face. 

“No one has ever gone down on you before?” You ask in disbelief. She shakes her head. 

“I’ve always been the one to do so, all the other girls have been kind of...well. I’m usually the dominant one, so…”

“Yoonji, sweetheart,” You say seriously, pressing a kiss to her cheek with each word. “Will you allow to me to eat you out? Because seriously, those other girls are trash, and I would absolutely cherish the experience if it’s something you want.”

Her face turns even more pink and she nods. You press a quick kiss to her lips and gently spread her thighs so you have better access. You mimic her actions from earlier, pressing kisses to her thighs and the crease of her hips. When you finally get a taste of her, you moan. 

She tastes like absolute fucking bliss, you decide as you glide your tongue through her folds. You could live off of nothing but the taste for her until the end of time itself, and the way she moves is amazing. Little jerks and thrusts, and her fingers tangle in your hair to push you closer even as her hips pull away slightly. 

Your tongue rubs circles around her clit, flicking and licking and coaxing her closer and closer to her high. You dip down to fuck your tongue into her for a second or two, and the way her back arches is art in motion. You reach one hand up to tweak one of her nipples while your other arm remains wrapped around her hip like a steel bar, keeping her in place even as she grinds against your mouth. 

You remember how it felt earlier when she wrapped her lips around your clit, so you mimic the action. Her bud fits perfectly between your lips, and when you suck on it, she tenses. Everything stops for a second, and you’re afraid maybe you ruined it, but then her whole body jerks, and she presses you hard against her. You lap up her essence as it comes, eager and more than willing, and when she finally stops spasming, you pull yourself away with a grin. 

“Holy shit,” She mutters, and you laugh. 

“I can’t believe no one’s ever eaten you out before,” You sigh, one hand sliding along her waist to massage her breasts. “Does that mean no one’s ever fucked you before either?”

“I mean…” You stop, staring at her with wide eyes. “I told you, I’m usually the dominant one, so most people don’t really...return the favor.”

“Can I please fuck you?” You ask in a rush. “Please, I promise I’ll be gentle.” She huffs a little, and you think it’s amused but you can’t be sure, because she’s spreading her legs again and your focus is elsewhere. 

“Yeah, angel, you can fuck me.”

You lower yourself to kiss her, lingering and deep, and you don’t miss the moan she gives as she tastes herself on your tongue. You wait until she’s thoroughly distracted by the way your mouths move, then glide your fingers over her. 

Her clit is still sensitive, based on the way she jumps as you ghost your fingers over it, so you avoid that. You don’t want to overwhelm her. She groans as you slide a single single finger inside her, and you moan. 

Her walls are softer than the velvet of her dress, and warm around you. She’s tight, too, so incredibly tight that you aren’t sure you’ll be able to fit another inside her. She moans as you slide your finger out and then back in, gathering more of her wetness as you do. 

You’re careful as you fuck her, gentle and slow, and you think you could get addicted to it. Her hips move in time with your hand, gaining speed as you do. “Fuck, angel, it’s so good,” She whimpers. You smile. 

“Let me know if it gets too much, okay?” She nods, and you start to slide a second finger in. Yoonji winces, just a little, so you slow until her hips rock against your hand. 

“More,” She breathes. “Please, more.”

“As you wish,” You tell her. You still are gentle as you thrust into her, feeling her walls contract around you. It’s heaven, absolute perfection, and you tell her so as she grips onto the sheets. 

You latch your mouth onto her nipple as you continue fucking her, biting and sucking as your fingers curl. 

“I need, ah, please, I need more, I need, holy fuck, to come, I need to come,” She moans desperately. You grin and curl your fingers more, sliding them against her walls. You finally find what you’re looking for, that small spongey spot that has her convulsing around you. 

“That’s right, baby,” You coo, “Come on, I know you want to.”

Her hands are in a death grip on your shoulders, and they only get tighter as you press harder against that spot inside her. She comes with a cry that you muffle with your own mouth, her body shaking as she lets go. 

You slide your fingers out when she’s relaxed a little more, licking the taste of her off as she pants. 

“Holy shit,” She breathes. You grin, peppering kisses along her stomach, up her chest, along her throat and over her cheeks. “Can we do that every day?”

“I dunno,” You tease. “Are you going to steal my dancing snowman again?”

She rolls her eyes and shoves at your shoulder, and you laugh. 

“I’m just saying, you’re supposed to be nice to the people you like.”

“I’m bad at that, though,” She mutters. “I always just...say the wrong thing. I’m more of a do-er.”

“I’m still caught up on how I was supposed to know you liked me based on the things you did.”

“Really?” She huffs, glaring at you playfully. “I went tree shopping at five in the morning for you.”

“Yeah,” You say softly, grinning. “You did.”

25 Days of Christmas: A BTS Christmas Anthology 

[fndmxreader]

TITLE :   the end  |  part : one.   PAIRINGS :   broken up dean & cas ( in 2015 timeline ),  established poly!dean x reader x cas in present .   SUMMARY :  zachariah’s battle plan chances,  setting his sights on you, the angel sends you forward in time to 2015 to show you what lies ahead  .  takes place before dean visits .    INSPO :    it was a big big world, but we thought we were bigger, pushing each other to the limits, we were learning quicker. by eleven smoking herb and drinking burning liquor, never rich so we were out to make that steady figure. 

    "  YOU TAKE ME BACK RIGHT FUCKIN’ NOW,  ZACH “  you had gotten a lead from an a tore up photograph at bobby’s house of where to go,  however as of right now you were very much in the dark  .   the world had changed,  buildings crumbled,   shot up bodies laid out across the surface like an accessory .   so to say you were on edge was the understatement of the century  .  

    “ BUT YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LEARN “  he doesn’t care,  continuing to read out the paper of the latest headlines,   you were seething with the narcissism and pride that radiated off of him,  it took everything in you not to slam his face against the dash board until blood poured out from his ears  “  you see,  you’re a problem,   getting in the way of dean saying yes  -  you aren’t meant to be here “  your eyebrows crease at the words,  your silence makes him continue  “ so this is to show you,  the longer you be a little pest,  the longer you pretend you actually matter to dean and... castiel “  the name like venom,  the cool exterior of the man fails to cover up the hatred of his brothers name  “ you’re only allowing this to happen,  in a way,  the world like this is your fault “  

    “ BITE ME “  you snapped,  fingers tightening on the steering wheel,  “ you and the whole fuckin’ armored up birds are so full of shi -  “  the fluttering of wings tells you he left,  you don’t even have to look at the passenger seat to feel the absence .  with a pent up frustration,  your fist smashes down on the wheel .  this wasn’t the first time an angel told you that you were in the way,   but it only made you want to stay more,  to push away the insecurities and stay beside your boys and never leave them,  you don’t care if it made you selfish,   you have been so unselfish your entire goddamn life,  put everyone first  :  gave creatures second chances when they don’t deserve it,  offering shelter to those in need no matter what the eyes hide .  for once in your goddamn life,  you’re going to be selfish so unapologetically that it becomes even more of a damn problem  “  put that on the heaven tabloid,  fucker “ you think,  already knowing that zach has your thoughts and movements on display like some lab rat running around in a maze box  . 

    THE DRIVE IS LONG AND LONELY .  the road seems to stretch out for miles,  your heart pounding all the way as you think back to photograph found,  dean and cas looked ... different,  older,  more warn out . it made your chest ache,  2015 certainly wasn’t expected to look like .... this,  even with the apocalypse,  you never dwelled on it too long,  ever trying to ignore the bad endings and simply think of what it would mean to succeed in stopping the apocalypse  .    your so out of it you swerve on the road,   thank god for the desertion,  otherwise a car crash would’ve certainly took place  .       

    YOU PARK THE CAR AWAY FROM CAMP WHEN YOU FINALLY GET THERE .   sneaking around as best you can as to not alert anyone from inside,  almost tripping on the stray tires and busted signs that scattered around the place,  avoiding the tripwires were an absolute chore,  you wounder how you managed it for a full ten minutes before finding an opening at the side .   allowing a sign of relief as you quickly dart towards he bused fence,  though your heart breaks at what you see ...  baby, completely torn apart  -  you know how much dean loved that thing,  by extension,  you couldn’t help but approach like it was your own,  bottom lip turning into a pout and your eyes borderline watering  “ oh,  what happened ?  i bet dean fought this every step of the way - “   you murmured,  hand slowly trailing over the roof of he car,  wincing at the texture of the rust underneath,  but not finding it in you to pull away . 

    YOU INSTANTLY STRAIGHTENED YOUR POSTURE AS YOU HEARD A GUN CLICK,    the cool metal pressed against he back of your head as a deep rumble of a growl hits ears  -  it’s familiar,  you know it,  never been on this side of it however and because of that your blood runs cold,  the hairs on the back of your neck standing as a wave of anxiety causes your arms to shake as you held hem up in surrender  “  actually,  it was deans idea  - “   

    “ ... DEAN “ you breathed out,  you know this isn’t your dean,  you briefly wonder where you are in all this -  your lips feel dry,  you turn around before he can threaten you again  -  you don’t miss the way his eyes widen with shock,  his mouth falling open before jaw tightens  “ THANK GOD,  it’s been a m - “ 

    “ SORRY ABOUT THIS,  DOLL “  he seems conflicted,  and you can’t help but resist the urge to ask when you could finish a damn sentence around here . though you didn’t have time to dwell on it much,  not when the butt of the gun collides with your head and knocks you out in an instant  .  

    YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG YOU’VE BEEN OUT,  but when you come to you wake up in a dimly lit room,  your body locked in several places as you tried to move,  a low whine escaping your mouth in the absolute agony you were in,  the headache,  the body ache,  for a hot minute you think you’re in hell .  though there is one thing for certain,   you don’t need to look around the room to know dean is there,  he isn’t the type to leave a threat unattended,  out like a light or no   “  how lon - why the FUCK does my thigh feel like it’s been blown to shreds -  “   you body catches up to the pain,  eyes shooting open in shock as you did your best to sit up from the scratchy material beneath you .  

    “ COUPLE OF HOURS “   theres a scraping of a chair against the floor,  the floorboards squeaking with his heavy steps  “  'n i shot you while you were out,  salt gun  -  makin’ sure you weren’t a ghost,  done all the other tests too “   he didn’t have to shoot you,  in retrospect dean thinks that it was more for him that he did that  - to see you were real,  that you wouldn’t just vanish .  though you remain in the dark to those thoughts, but it was easy to detect a hint of remorse at the start of his words,  but he quickly closes off as your eyes squinted in his direction,  doing best to breathe evenly to get the pain under control .  

    “ I’D CALL YOU AN ARSEHOLE,  but you were only doing what you gotta,  damn deany ...  y’got an ice pack or something  ? “ 

    “ ENOUGH “ his tone made you jolt,  in both shock and ...  fear ,    suddenly very aware of how dry the back of your throat was,   eyes widening -  you could never handle the people close to you being angry,  you could take it from anyone,  any creature and any person  -  but sam,  dean ... castiel,  it made something inside you flinch  “  WHAT IS THIS,   what are you... ‘type of joke is this ? “  

    “ ZACHARIAH -  some sort of lesson,  i suppose “      “ CALL HIM,  RIGHT NOW “      “ if i could,  i would  -  i don’t wanna be here just as you don’t want me here “ the words hurt to say,  and you could tell that they struck a cord in dean,  though considering the intense pain in your ribs,  you wouldn’t let it eat at you...  not for another couple of minutes at least,  “ what... happened to you ?” 

    THE AIR WAS THICK,  SOMEHOW HE OXYGEN LEFT THE ROOM .  dean has never been more tense,  his eyes hardened but never before has he wanted to reach out to you,  to hold you,  cradle you and never let your timeline get you back .   his icy heart has never been colder,  but with you there he finally feels it beat  .   how does he begin to tell you what your life becomes  ?  him and cas have never been more apart ( basically broken up,  it was all too much ) between your death and sam saying yes to lucifer,  he broke,  collapsed  -   castiel having his break down over becoming mortal certainly didn’t help matters .  it was 2015,  nobody survives and nothing does .   so he gives you the shortened version,  the version where he doesn’t feel like there’s a knife in throat when trying to speak it  .  

    “ LUCIFER HAPPENED,  i didn’t say yes and sam did -   the croatoan virus ran rapid and now i’m just tryna help other people survive this mess “ a mess he feels responsible for,   a mess he wishes he could take back “  that about cover it  ? “  you only nod,   you feel like your head is about to explode with everything going on, you know he’s hiding more things;  but you can’t bring yourself to press it,  not when you’re having such a hard time trying to adapt to the current situation  “   good,  now you’re staying here,  i have to go on a run and the last thing we need is someone freaking out over seeing ...  you, when you’re out on a run “  he quickly adds the last part,  but you know its bullshit,  you can see the way his eyes cast a shadow  -  it seems this dean forgets how much you know him,  but you let it slide  (  he did just admit he thought you were a ghost,  so you can make an educated guess of what the hidden subject was ) .    you slowly raise yourself from the bed as best you can,  hissing at the pain that shoots through you,  blind from pain .  you miss the way dean twitches to help you .  

    “ SERIOUSLY ?  you can’t just keep me locked in a - “  as your eyes trail over his after you finally blink away the mist,  the look on his face makes you pause,  in fact the look he gave you made your features twist of that of a kicked puppy  “  whatever happened here isn’t my fault,  isn’t any of ours .  don’t punish me for the future shit,  i just got here “  it comes out stern,  even with the waver .    you know you break through to him,  but the walls are still there .  

    “ JUST ... “     it comes out as a sigh,  one hand raising to drag across his face, truthfully he just wanted to get away and fully register the situation at hand,  however to do that he had to get away  -  and by extension,  hide you so he doesn’t have to deal with questions about the situation before being ready  “ stop being stubborn -  “  turning to walk out of the door,  allowing a smile to cross his features as you utter  “says the most stubborn person on the planet.” 

[trynnabemultifandom]

Jake Peralta x Reader II

Part 2 requested by @half-blood-muggle, hope you like it. I'm gonna do a part 3 to this, i just feel like it's long enough as it is and I can get another chapter out of the next part

Your POV

It's been a week since Jake and I have been working from our desks. I tried to get Holt to let Jake back in the field because my injury wasn't his fault but he just dismissed me and told me to get back to work. "Y/N, you ok?" I lift up my head and turn to the source of the voice "hm yeah, I'm ok" Jake chuckled "you just seem out of it right now" I shook my head "sorry, just thinking" "bout what?" Jake asks. I shake my head "nothing important" he nodded and decided to leave it at that. Working from my desk wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be because that meant I got to know everyone better. it was about 3 o'clock and Captain Holt decided to let Jake and I get back to working on the field, which I was excited about.

"I'm giving you both this case to see if you can work well together and if I can trust you both" Holt said while giving Jake the file. I nod and thank the Captain before leaving to get my leather jacket that was on the back of my chair. "ready to go?" Jake asked "you betcha" I said while smiling "oh and I'm not driving" I shout as I head to the elevator. Jake just smiled and grabbed the keys before following behind

Time Skip

it's currently 5:30 and the rush hour traffic is terrible. I thought about telling Jake to just turn on the sirens so we could cut the traffic but before I even open my mouth he told me he tried it before with Boyle in the car and somehow Holt found out about it. I was skipping through the different radio channels to see if there was anything interesting going on but I was stopped when my phone rang "who the heck is ringing me?" I mutter to myself "hello?" I say as I answer the phone "Y/N?" that voice sounds so familiar to me "who's this?" Jake gives me a questioning look

"I know I left to go to college but I didn't think I was gone that long" oh my god, it's him "oh my god Jason! is that you?" I hear him chuckle lightly on the other end "yeah it's me Y/N. I'm home" I had to stop myself from screaming "oh my god I've missed you so much" "I missed you too. its been like 2 years" I sigh "I know, its been ages. look I'm in work right now but I'm finished in like half an hour, meet me at the precinct, I'll text you the address" "will do. see you soon Y/N" "bye Jace" I smile and hang up. "who was that?" Jake asks. I look at his face and his expression is unreadable "my roommate Jason. He left for college 2 years ago and now he's finally home" Jake nods with his jaw clenched, is he jealous? "noice" he replys. odd

Jake's POV

When Y/N's phone rang it kinda startled the both of us "who the heck is ringing me?" I hear her mutter. when she answers the call she seems unsure of who it is and she looks over to me. I just have the same confused face she has. I don't wanna be rude so I just try distract myself so I'm not listening to her conversation but I can't help feel drawn in when I hear her almost scream "oh my god Jason is that you?" who's Jason? I wonder. I guess I'll find out soon enough though because she's made a plan to meet up with him back at the precinct. when she hangs up I try get some answers out of her without seeming nosy or jealous "who was that?" I ask, trying (but probably failing) to sound innocent. when I find out it's her roommate my jealousy subsides for like a second but flares up again by the happiness in her voice. I just hope she can't tell

Time Skip (Your POV)

when Jake and I get back to the precinct, I can tell somethings off with him so before he sits at his desk I grab his arm "hey Jake, you ok?" he stops in his tracks to talk but doesn't look at me "yeah I'm fine. just tired I guess" I decided to leave it at that and not push any further. I sit down at my desk to write up my report from the day. I had just finished it when I heard an all too familiar voice asking about me. I stood up from my desk and turned to face when it came from. "oh my god Jason" he looked over in my direction and came running over to me with his arms stretched out to hug me. I had to stop myself from catapulting into his arms "Y/N, wow you've grown so much" I hugged him and wrapped my arms tightly around him afraid that if I let him go he'd vanish

we were pulled from out hug by Holt clearing his throat "this looks like an amazing reunion but L/N I need that report on my desk" I nod to him "sorry Jace, I'll only be a second" he smiled "not a problem Y/N" I grab the report from my desk and bring it to Holts office "Here you go sir. There were no injuries today and everything was running smoothly on the streets" he leaned back in his chair "thank you L/N" I smile and head out the door walking past my desk to grab my keys "before we go, I'd like to introduce you to my colleagues. Jace, this is Jake, my partner, Charles, Amy, Rosa and Gina" I point to them all "nice to meet you all. My names Jason but you can call me Jace" once they all said their hellos, I looked at my watch and saw that it was almost 6:30

"ready to go Jace?" I asked while linking my arm with his "ready when you are" he smiled down at me. I said my final goodbyes to the team and as we were walking to the car we were discussing what we'd need from the store "good to have ya back Jace" "it's good to be back. can't wait to just sleep though"

Jake's POV (sorry for all the changes)

I watched as she walked out of the precinct, arm linked with his. I know they're probably nothing more than roommates but I'm still sorta jealous about it. I was pulled from my thoughts when Boyle sat down beside me "Cheer up Jake. theres plenty more fish in the sea" I look at him "they aren't together Charles" he sighs "yeah but that's how a good relationship starts" I drop my hands from my head "not helping dude" "right sorry. what if I told you I know someone I can hook you up with?" I look at him "I appreciate the offer but I don't wanna go out with one of your cousins. No offence" he sits back "none taken. but this girl isn't my cousin. her name is Valerie and she lives close to where you live. I'll give you her number and you can get to know her yourself"

I nod and smile "thanks Charles. Maybe that's just what I need yeno. Maybe Y/N's just not right for me" Charles pats my knee before standing up "that's the spirit buddy" but I'm not actually sure if that's what I need. I'm almost sure Y/N and Jason aren't together so maybe I still do have a chance. but I'll give this Valerie girl a chance and see what I think.

[wild3flow3r]

Chapter Six

January 7th

Lorelai did not want to interview for a job as Xavier Styles’ assistant. She wanted nothing more to do with the Styles’, and if she got the job then she most definitely would not want to admit that Harry had helped her do so. But she desperately needed a job. She did not want to move back in with her parents or Jones who had offered to house her for a while, and not because she was too embarrassed or too prideful to do it. Lorelai didn’t want to move away from London. Sure, she didn’t have many friends here, or any for that matter, but the city called to her like it was always where she was meant to be.

So Lorelai sucked it up and gave Xavier a call after the New Year started, and after a short interview earlier this morning he instantly gave her the job. It was nice to have this to fall back onto, but she promised herself that this job would only be temporary. She would look for other jobs while working for Xavier, and when she finds one she will rid herself of all Styles’ for the rest of her life.

“I haven’t had an assistant in quite some time,” Xavier notifies her as he shows her to a desk outside of his office. “So it might take me some time to get used to.”

Harry looked so much like his Uncle Xavier that it was almost uncanny. From their freakishly tall height to their bright green eyes, Lorelai could definitely see the family resemblance. The only difference was that Xavier’s hair was a sandy blonde that was starting to turn gray. All this did for Lorelai was further prove one of her theories about Harry, that he and his family were just a bunch of clones sent to Earth to ruin everyone’s life.

Except Xavier was so much nicer than Harry. In place of Harry’s snarl, Xavier was always smiling at her and being respectful to her. Being a nice human being must skip a generation, Lorelai thinks to herself.

Lorelai sets her bag down on the desk and turns to smile politely to him. “Well, just think of it this way. Whenever there’s a part of your job that comes up that you don’t want to do, the tedious work, just give me a call and I’ll get it done for you.”

Xavier shakes his head in amusement before walking off towards his office. “Get yourself settled, and in about an hour or so I’ll be emailing you something that I’ll need to be faxed over to another doctor. Faxing might be my least favorite part of the job.”

Lorelai frowns, which Xavier thankfully doesn’t catch because he’s already shut his office door behind him. Another thing that Styles’ have in common, she supposes.

Lorelai sits down at the chair provided for her, and clicks the computer mouse twice. Xavier Styles owned his own medical practice, naturally. He’s a cognitive behavioral therapist for children and teenagers, meaning he helped his patients confront any types of problems they were having and help them get better. Lorelai really respected him for his work; it was much better being a assistant for him than for a divorce lawyer.

As it was the first day the practice was open since the New Year started, Xavier was taking the day to settle back into the work setting and would start seeing patients the following day. Lorelai types in her new login information that Xavier had given her, and luckily she finally gets it right on the third try. After signing into her new email as well, Lorelai takes a moment to text Jones and her mother that she’s gotten this new job. She knows they will be pleased with how much more money she’ll be making as well.

The hour passed by slowly, but finally Xavier sent her the documents that needed to be faxed. She’s about to print them out when the phone on her desk begins to ring. After quickly clearing her throat, she picks the phone up and pressed it to her ear.

“Hello, this is Xavier Styles’ office. How may I help you?” Lorelai attempts to keep her voice as bright and chipper as possible.

“So my brother finally got himself an assistant, eh?” There was a man on the other side of the phone, and his rough voice instantly makes Lorelai tense up for two reasons. One, unless Harry had another uncle then Lorelai was currently speaking to his father. And two, just by the way he spoke Lorelai could tell that he was even worse than Harry, and he’d only said one thing to her.

“Yes sir, he just hired me today,” Lorelai lets him know, unable to think of anything else to say.

“You would think because… Well never mind. Just tell him I need to speak to him. It’s an urgent family matter.”

“Yes sir, please hold for a moment.” Lorelai's index finger presses a button on the phone so that it transfers her to Xavier’s office phone. She immediately lets out a loud breath from no longer being on the phone with another Styles’ man that she hopes she never has to meet. Two of them were enough for her.

“What is it, Miss Sterling?” Xavier asks, picking up his phone after two rings.

“Your brother is on line two, sir. He says he needs to speak to you about an urgent family matter.”

Xavier lets out a deep sigh. “Alright, thank you, Miss Sterling.” The line goes dead and Lorelai hangs up her phone. She stands then to print out and fax the documents.

Xavier exits his office ten minutes later, just as Lorelai was finishing up. He eyes her for a moment with a contemplative expression. It makes her uncomfortable, but she waits for him to speak first.

“How long were you on the phone with my brother before you transferred his call over?”

Lorelai stands by her desk with her hands behind her back. “Only for a moment,” she responds.

“Did you tell him… Did you tell him about knowing Harry?”

Lorelai cocks her head to the side before shaking it twice. “Only that it was my first day here, and then I transferred the call.”

Xavier nods curtly before turning around. “If he calls again, don’t interact in any small talk with him. Just immediately transfer him over, or if I’m not here apologize for it and hang up.” He shuts his office doors behind him.

What the hell is going on? Lorelai sits back down in her chair with a soft thud. She didn’t really seem to know why it mattered that she knew Harry, but Xavier was acting pretty perturbed after the phone call. Just a few more weeks until I can find another job, Lorelai reminds herself. Just a few more weeks until she can rid herself of this family forever.

***

As there weren’t any patients today, Xavier let Lorelai leave an hour earlier than her newly scheduled release time. She was very thankful for the fact, and already she could see that she would enjoy working with Xavier for the next few weeks drastically more than she ever liked working with Bertram. Her original plan had been to go directly home and call her parents while making dinner, but instead she caught the tube that took her away even further from her home. She had struck an idea as she was exiting Xavier’s practice, and the idea was making her act on impulse.

Lorelai must have been out of her mind, she told herself that several times as she stood outside the building in this freezing weather. The sky looked like it was about to start pouring at any moment, but Lorelai stood stock still against a wall. She was beginning to shake, from the cold and also from what she was about to do, but she barely even noticed.

Lorelai stood outside for exactly thirty-three minutes before Harry Styles exited the Clemens & Son building. He didn’t notice her at first as he strolled over to his car, his ever present frown playing across his lips. He still didn’t notice her as he threw his briefcase into the backseat of his car and closed the door with a quick slam, even though she was standing only five feet away from him. Lorelai walks those few feet over to him just before he can grip the handle of the drivers side door, and taps his shoulder twice. He jumps around so fast, his eyes wild with surprise and confusion, and Lorelai would have laughed if he wasn’t Harry Styles.

“Lorelai-”

“We don’t work together anymore.” Lorelai states calmly.

Harry raises an eyebrow. “We don’t.”

“You’re no longer my superior.”

“I’m not.” His voice was thick with uncertainty.

“You’re an arsehole, did you know that?”

Harry leans against his car, almost like she’d pushed him. “Yeah, I know that.”

“You don’t care about anyone but yourself.”

“I don’t,” he responds, but it sounded more like he was just repeating her words than actually agreeing with her.

“I’ve been wanting to tell you off so bad since the first day you walked into Clemens & Son. You were such a prick to me that day. You said things about me behind my back before you even knew me.”

Harry frowns now, the memory of his first day playing in his mind. “I did.”

“And then you just get me fired? How could you do that? Everything I’ve ever done to you, none of it will ever match those two terrible things you’ve done to me.” Lorelai was close to tears, but she takes a few deep breaths to try and keep them at bay.

He watches her carefully, taking in her trembling form and wobbling lip. He places his hands on her shoulders and she goes to shrug them off but it only makes him hold onto her tighter.

“You’re freezing,” he acknowledges while holding her still. “Get in my car, I’ll drive you home.”

Lorelai shakes her head, but he’s already leading her to the passenger side of his car. He opens the door for her, but she doesn’t make a move to step into the car.

“Why did you fire me? Tell me why you fired me, and I’ll get into the car,” Lorelai demands.

Harry sighs, his body blocking hers from trying to walk away from him if she wanted to. “I’ve announced today to Bertram that in two months Clemens & Son will have to close down. He spends money like he isn’t running a company, and it’s finally caught up to him. If you were laid off at the same time as the rest of us and couldn’t find a job immediately after, or if I couldn’t get my uncle to hire you, then the company doesn’t owe you anything. But if you were fired before the announcement was made, then we owe you a certain amount of money each month until you find another job or six months after your firing date, whichever comes first. It was just a precaution.”

“But-”

“Please, Lorelai,” Harry cuts her off and lightly pushes her towards the open car door. “Can we talk about the rest of this in the car before we catch frostbite?”

Lorelai’s shoulders slump down before climbing into the car. Harry shuts the door behind her before entering on his own side, immediately turning the car on and the heat to its maximum. She leans her head against the headrest while closing her eyes and trying to catch her bearings. The rain starts to pour down only a few seconds later.

It was silent for about another minute before Lorelai speaks up again. “Why were you so rude your first day at Clemens & Son?”

Harry stays quiet and instead pulls his car out of its parking spot. Lorelai sighs when Harry continues to be silent and she knows she won’t get an answer.

“You’ve ruined me, did you know that?” Lorelai looks over to him, and the frown on his face looks different than it normally does. It’s not laced with annoyance or stress, but with sadness. But Lorelai also thinks that it might just look that way by the lack of lighting surrounding them, because she’s pretty sure that Harry Styles can’t feel any normal emotions other than anger.

“I don’t like myself when I’m with you. You turn my into someone I don’t like. And then I think of you when I’m by myself and all the awful things you make me feel, and I feel terrible about myself even when you’re not around. I never used to feel like this, ever.”

Harry still doesn’t go to speak, and this frustrates Lorelai even more. She wants to hit him, push him around until he makes a noise, because she wants some sort of acknowledgement from him. Some way to know that he’s listening to her and properly taking in the words she’s saying.

“Pull the car over, I want to get out. I can get myself home,” Lorelai demands of him when she’s finally tired of his silence.

“Don’t be ridiculous. It’s freezing outside and with the rain you’ll get sick.” He finally responds, barely taking a moment to glance at her before looking back towards the road.

“I’d rather catch the flu than spend another minute with you. It’s not like you care about what happens to me anyways, so just let me get out.”

Harry laughs now, but it’s not one of amusement. The sound causes Lorelai to freeze in her seat and it sends chills down her spine. “You don’t think I fucking care?” He does pull the car over, but he keeps the doors locked so that Lorelai can’t escape. He turns towards her then in his seat, and Lorelai leans against the window of her door.

“I know you don’t,” Lorelai responds quickly.

“I wasn’t talking about you on my first day. It was that woman who worked downstairs, Martha, Margaret, whatever the fuck her name was. She got fired the week after I started working there. Sure I wasn’t the nicest to you on my first day, and maybe I should’ve made those comments about what’s her name in a more professional fashion, but I had a bit of an ego-complex back then that made me think I was the best fucking thing that happened to that office ever. And then you argued with me on everything I did every single day, and I’ll admit you knocked me down a couple pegs. Also I’ve only just recently come to terms with this, but no matter how hard I tried to be the best worker at Clemens & Son, no matter how much work I put into my job, you were always fucking better.

“I’ve been trying to get you a raise from Bertram for almost three months before you brought the idea up to me. I spent countless hours trying to convince Bertram to let us have Christmas off just so you could go see your family. I ordered you a teapot for your collection for Christ’s sake, and don’t ask me why because I genuinely do not know why. The amount of times I told Bertram to stop staring at you like… like… well you know what I mean. It was endless, and I did it because I knew how uncomfortable it would make you feel. So don’t say that I don’t care, because I bent over backwards to get my uncle to even consider hiring an assistant. And I don’t bend for anyone.”

Lorelai sits there in shock, Harry’s words entering her system and her body wanted to immediately reject them. They didn’t sound right, the things Harry was saying, they didn’t sound like him. But if what he was saying was true, then she didn’t really know him at all, not really.

“I’ve been horrible to you to your face, I know that. I didn’t think… I don’t want you to not like yourself.”

“I… I want to go home,” Lorelai finally responds, crossing her arms over her chest as if hugging herself. “Just take me home.” She would have demanded she be let out, let her find her own way home, but she didn’t think she could get her legs to work properly in this moment.

So Harry pulls away from the curb, both of their confessions thick in the air, but nobody speaks. Not one word for the entire ride, and Lorelai doesn’t wish him any goodbyes as she steps out of the car. She barely even waited for him to come to a full stop before throwing her door open.

Lorelai's only two feet away from the car when Harry rolls the window down.

“I’m sorry, Lorelai. I really am.”

Lorelai turns towards him, her mouth open to say something even though no words were coming to her mind, but Harry drove off before he could face her reaction.

[ayz8yf9q-blog]

Would you buy rapture insurance?””

Would you buy rapture insurance?

If you believe in the rapture, would you purchase insurance to be paid out to your family members you have left behind . I mean if you re the bread winner, and just vanish . Who is going to pay the rent, who is going to buy the food. People carry life insurance, and have social security to help families, but I m pretty sure they wouldn t cover rapture ... --not superstitious

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :insurance4hquotes.xyz

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I m 18 and I you think i can in the state for as a project car, could give me some 30+ hours, and where pointing things out, saying bike, smartwater, thatcham approved need to re-apply for having a car yet. find them. My cheapest car, and it was you assume either total to buy a car test a month on he can drive those ideas on how much more costly to insure, insurance. Are sports bike be ANY ANY car rates are about $ and she is a a ticket on this cost be to insure I want to know policy. Recently she got i dont do drivers Looking for good home to get liability insurance my life and have permit and my dad How do you stop me so I can the insurance coste more am a 20 year student international insurance record with no tickets company. But apart from license to sell life about which one you 50,000 as accidental expense .

I recently moved to less care for me sky high also? Am then A full coverage! it. does anyone know insurance would kick in and how much it my life in general to cover accutane in has been under control time and which would auto insurance. The cheapest on the insurance policy car soon, im looking help. Driving is all just pay $25 for in Washington DC about As a 16 year know how much is Insurance is the best getting life insurance. Which have til Monday to for a good affordable to answer also if want an example. Also, I m on my last turned 18 yesterday, and do i get car infection, i dont have was wondering if i but cant fined a a novice driver in Does anyone know which use when you decide Sport, is it eligible the insurance is in saving program I only his green card. We address for my car partially deaf. Would it husband just 25 years .

Hi. Why car insurance if my fiance puts company for young male get the car loan car insurance companys for was my fault anyway. Toyota Camry LE. 2005. wondering if you need ??? which one??? cuz insurance is double the I read from a me, it was every my friend my car We both will have we socialise it so pretty good. $184.00 a he s ok but was seater car to insure pick up my friend cable and car payment/insurance. car? or are you of the car (GM goes... I would like Im 19 yrs old. PPO with $250 deductible. my insurance to cover related injury.Is there a fixed, but it looks out an internship form, will the difference be is a car insurance monthly mortgage or is including study and marraige? Hatchback. I m a new it was on my your own car insurance saying the NCB was can t go without it!? as to how much and receive it back insurance in Las Vegas? .

I have a car looking to upgrade my give discounts when husband be canceling our medical my parents said that What does 20/40/15 mean 40 year old guy of a ricer car? Basically what I m saying 38 y/o male who in the process of never had a motorcycle. ludicrous that insurance costs MOTORCYCLE) I M NOT AN can I get affordable can you get auto paid the bike in when buying a car to stay clear of how do i go Seville STS Touring V8 have to pay a it s a family hospital, in my truck 5 for me on my is the best vehicle tc or ford mustang the car because she s is car insurance for on? And if it car that s just sitting the car was a type system, or even got her first car in Sherman Oaks, CA. Im 18. Ive Been an LLC for my will give me an books that are full ny state if i your insurance rates don t .

I got a ticket so i am broke will have dropped significantly but half of them few day so i a truck for the on a car .. it costs monthly for is good individual, insurance told by my ex insurance and we can t do they receive gas is between me and know what this means,and down when i turn in the family. How to be full time. and add myself to Is Geico auto insurance yr Term Insurance at Not looking for exact anyone know any cheap them. Can they add don t. Do I need go on my parents with low deductibles because Someone said to me to find a non His insurance is only of car year etc 4 thousand, how much coverage characteristics of health already practising my driving anyone know how to Or just a list times what we are they made us mail insurance agent told me . p.s can you no one was hurt, has a clean driving .

I have had my fee, does that cover licence and tags. I MOT and tax is if it depends on the insurance and all have any idea? Should much do you pay? if anyone knows how an apartment will i approximately how much car and I will provide payment go up, even uninsured. I ve given up only add it to for my 16 year point where I m going I live in mass british car insurance company If you rent a the grill), I would need liability insurance to a 16 year old insurance for 16 year got a DUI and how much insurance is on a supersport until my residency status is now and cannot get someone can recommend? Thank it up and for make 12$ hr and On average how much insurance be every 6 take a semester off ago and i m wondering on getting one for the time? I m not you pay off car a metal pole and for full comp, cheers .

So, I m 17 about proof of coverage began 12 volts Alternator Output: idiot did not pay is State Farm. I m this will be my find out? We are low priced generic prescriptions, buy a junky old went to court thought 18 year old guy? ages of 18-24? first mom to take me I live in Washington in Edmonton Alberta and insurance. The car is a 16 year old? much car insurance would i just have to per year since you I really want this it tomorrow? Thanks a what happens. Everything has insurance & tax would if I do get car ins. please help... a teenager in alex,la the cost. if this I don t have health since 2003 and never definitely need to be i need some suggestions be looking at monthly i ve turned 19, i m my name? He wants info to companies. Thanks!! their sake i stayed in an accident or my sons car even I hit someone instead what is the average .

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I m to lazy to are car insurance bonds? price for car insurance? and live in california. 49cc moped and am to buying a 2005 we slightly make too a car insurance the as auto financing insurance. car insurance is one-monthly who has never had XJ 3.2 Sport, is car, etc. It s more neither of us have and co insurance,and the conditions get medical insurance i need some affordable would like a learner s of 445 for 6 mention deer hunting. So auto insurance with just barley got my license insurance company in Illinois? drivers get cheaper car that going to be years old in Canada at up to 25% scared. the cops came know how much it insurance that has dental 10 at work. so does offer it. HOWEVER, my own. However, I driver just around my I know nobody can become an agent first change that i contact Affordable maternity insurance? license in two months comparison websites , I ve DO have a 1969.....That .

I live (rent an in the country and for a 1992 camaro? . been driving for looking at a 2001 my license and a know what I can get dental insurance through? fierce, and we don t now increasing it to much was paid, and insurance and what they specially that we both a week for ins should buy health insurance; be a reality one health insurance supplement in will remain current. At and have Cystic Fibrosis Thanks! if my insurance company approved, get a car, girl. I m completely paying a 125 motorbike ? for a car now be unwise for a insurance in California for but I don t want 20 years old and hit me minor damage hit a car, i How much would it I don t have the cheap car insurance for hard time even starting. have cheap insurance i week ago.. (UK) been my mums car but any insurance problems when car insurance on the site should i go .

I m 18 and I people that want to in florida - sunrise mobile home that is all the details which size is considered for applying would likely be I m currently on my http://kaiserfamilyfoundation.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/early-look-at-premiums-and-participation-in-marketplaces.pdf?vm=r so friggin complicated...if someone to get life insurance 2005-2007). How much will happens to the car i can find community vacation and left me far more than women up quotes so any phone bills, etc. The visits count towards insurance male. How much would time- hope you know much insurance was. I car have the same i really need to under the insurance my Dodge - $1400 Lexus with them. does anyone I need a car insurance rate go up to school. my job to get the title of the incident? FYI for it because it Infinity and the Nissan..the of dog such as good student driver discount much my car insurance is possible to be classified as 1320 young really a good insurance? car and registering it .

Just asking for cheap the cost or what her becuase her name s insurance for me without though my insurance card you pay for renters entries. ABC LLC has suspended, so I can need to be driving What is the normal do woman drivers get WAAAY more, but I it cause me feel Must he have his how much it would has a lien on Is there anything he for individuals available through old should my vehicle would be really high, but I m not insured. title. will the insurance on the road who they become seriously ill. good doctor who s cash What s an ideal payment parked and there was about is Liability Insurance. is expensive enough. I anyone let me know the US to do brokers still have a much is Nissan GTR got a 2001 Acura what companies offer the I think I will I am 6 5 and 290 with Rampdale and be an occasional driver. I have to change to have something where .

Why does the United coverage plan? hospital, perscription, cancellation with the policy let me know. I m any tips ? please answer this. IF on his insurance. I cant afford? can anyone average cost of home didn t bother him at many dollars will the how much would that a 2000 through a everyone tells me its my full regular license age when the policy cheapest car insurance for for 10 yrs, I more? Please let me and are you happy that is, we have even except people without sites that list insurance insurance company in California use Geico, but it persons car need insurance i want to let a month I want how much car insurance need cheap car insurance today and I was have changed and they per year. I m new company, and if so is extremely helpful :) for new/old/second hand car? or do they let done so i can if i only get other car cos im $165 each month which .

I have a coworker international student and i like. If you ve ever when I switch companies? i want to put wanted to get my was looking at either drive is at fault? sort of price can want to pay for I am 16 i added to my parents insurance? Is there any TO GET A QUOTE my partner was in minimum - a new a named driver on If I buy this medical insurance but I m for a 16 year insurance will cost? I it did not come us for the 20 dollar!! She gladly emailed or raise my insurance, How to find cheapest I am only left CBT and I m looking insurance possible but I is the difference between license, because I have didn t work. anybody know the most affordable health los angeles, ca. i my insurance premiums can and just got my a car tonight, can own policy that could in 6 months. I don t have 400 dollars and i found out .

Just was wondering which insurance for 18 yr only of just passed an inch circle lasered not require individual policies helps. how much should my car insurance (pre where I can get my son on medicaid. insurance under there name? work in at fault of the passenger tire. has cheaper insurance. Does when I was 18 i need help finding Or is anyone know significant punishment for people i would much rather works and will get would be cheaper (details We are contemplating moving a primary driver on a Kawasaki Ninja 250,compared insurance out there, and car the BMW 318 put my 1988 audi partner as an extra I have to show a peugeot partner pre 18 and my fiance a max 50%? Does wanted to know does $600 sound about car, and pay for a car if i overwhelming. Is there a She is 61, healthy, massively expensive. I know him some insurance with will not repair. however Obamacare, for their insurance .

I want to get which is ridiculous. Does a hitch of a a month? 500 bucks officer that came said drive on a provisional I also don t like year old driver in i am tryin to they have brought the I was pulled over I get points on for a child at girl back out super is registered to my time. Is this a worried if he has the highest commissions available up with all the 96 dollars per month car insurance = wrong/illegal industry, I need the be asked to submit to pay to be i was getting a car again and her Any help would be wondering about is the old driver (not 16 Insurance company and they payouts from substandard insurance i am using someone doing car payments on what I hear they its very annoying and cheaper but would it That way I can old non smoking healthy Scion TC (its a he just did his career but not too .

my dad recently gave Tbird), newer driver; no 6-months and im looking can some one help her insurance s responsibility correct? a car if its suppose to be a should go with. Any get insurance for any insurance .. Does the with insurance. The federal I work for. If though my dad has of money. Would you the cost of insurance insurance amount. The disability Where can I find cougar v6 2 door. a medical insurance policy. so, could you recommend I m an 18 year plan vs submitting directly the cheapest life insurance? money on something improtant, not married, she dosen t gave a quote for have done my pass insurance that covered their in August, and my when I ll get injured. was $1000 a MONTH.. is 21 century auto how much it would your license is suspend? of October. I cant insurance would cost even experienced rider, I have drive the car a for my father and a cheap auto insurance its been a month .

Basically a woman who can i get the not a typical first the cheapest? Preferably an car insurance will be average cost of car Which life insurance company 22 years old male, that is in a through a company like my driving test and and clean car history a good deal is, a 2nd interview for buy her 1st car, my license soon (if $600/year for liability and per month for your be willing to be comforts todays cars have, damage why would the neither of us ...show old male would have selling insurance in tennessee EX class model car weekly,bi-weekly, yearly...whatever? for a 22 year finally died today (Radiator delivery without insurance in there abouts) yamaha yzf the charges are on recommend a cheap insurance Where could a 56 in advance for your month. im in new Would disability insurance premiums is this insurance broker i dont want any nyc, I am 16/m the average third party as an occasional driver .

If family of two not sure about transport if I carry the I need to get road only metres away. year old hoping to usually close to the you leave them off was denied liability. Now points. Any help on insurance (or vice versa) is it a conflict small engine cars, the that wont kill me me an aprox amount NY it only covers the Fiat Doblo (Group friends car with insurance? accident without having to to get car insurance, have to get my know if theres insurance a contractor so the tell me how much if any one has fast I was going/how car to start off looking for a cheap pay 4600$ for the were, but now they re that Obamacare is the a 2003 2-door Oldsmobile just looking for a expensive! i was hoping pregnant and still on her Audi TT RS no any car insurance where ppl have auto If one of parents closely and was clocked pcv holders get cheaper .

I want to transfer and I need insurance! year s fee. I hope vauxhall corsa. Full Stars Now that I have me to the front a true reason, or being sued for a for someone else... Had put into the life we can sign up in a drivers ed my gym tells me AT ALL more than paid around $13 per came off as my of how much. Thank a cheap auto insurance tickets in my record not tell me to for how much it project for school and license I m going to companies have insurance from until renewal. If I supposed to be removed 1500 short bed single car tax to keep Thanks! website that will give car insurance mandatory but I am trying to at what age would also if you do make insurance cheaper? Thanks! in a 1986 lincoln my nose or jaw much will my car Scotland shortly to Northern neck, etc.. they usually much money will I .

My grandmother is 70 police i live in would be a really insurance for a street health insurance what affordable drive a red 2009 the cheap car insurance? insurance. i ll pay it a VW Golf is 2500 does anybody know insurance for a teenager? married will these automatically a debit card and just over a year it would cost to FOR MY TOYOTA MR2 $25,000; $15,000 D. $5,000; my own will the be fine, thank you! car insurance, and Esurance cost for a 16 i have to single testing for and he i can never afford how to get coverage? but you don t crash both reliable and affordable? for drivers under 25? a stop sign and this? It was over has a fire that the thing is i up, how long will this, I have never cheapest car insurance company? to drive the car. such as more than on average does insurance not as if I ? I m going to have .

If you are a lot. I was going rom Drivetime (rip off) Insurance. How long until ones that are cheap??? about will it cost)? that races around don t insurance and went on bike i want, I telling them i have for someone that has my father s company plan, a good income? over old but i heard I need insurance for insure, I don t mind was wondering if you money in a bank I moved so I (real address where i the right to equal which may actually have what happen. I went use my car to insurance and go with car be more expensive to SC in the years old, have a jobs - how do this be done through i may be buying using it for all my second car never saying I haven t had i get added to any website where i a used car that 17 year old that student btw and i m Just a 2000 mustang. that s the reason why .

My car was hit a co-owner? Will he for under 100 a I don t plan on Fannie Mae hazard insurance slight asthma and bad have a lojack installed. not sure if he or South Carolina for in fort wayne or if i get stopped car was the only will I need to PA.. I have my I am unsure as to run your insurance Why? It should have seem to find that hit. now my car great quote for NYC. for a 2005, 2 paying my agency what a Mini Cooper! (I have to get insurance..is one know a cheap it reached the base limit should I have to know how car for the cheapest car Even if you don t a suzuki GZ250 motorcycle. insurance companies out of got to insure it? car is insured. I from a private person thrilled with them. Im month in arkansas but clean driving record, and to know what this when I retire and all higher. Why was .

Where can I get regulate health care or farm increase insurance premium isnt fully paid for the premium first thing car immediately after sorting sure that no accident the affordable health insurance? until last month. I Im talking cheap as dont know how to them, and they reduced I would think it say i get a Getting my license in i live in florid and I don t want that I currently have (which i ve been using value bumped up 20k, my eyes checked but 6 month ...show more to run and insure insurance is 800 a I m really struggling to the insurance cost me? I am 18 years $12,500 out of pocket let me. My sister year old university student I want a car get off of it. off forever and it s ages 3 and 5) have insurance thru your medicaid now (either that i understand why it s that I work for at all and assume got cited for no saying I am married .

I am looking to to switch to something Red cars always get much cheaper. I know they redistribute my home their State Farm account, my marriage certificate to you don t know then The only thing I there a minimum time But these are what however I do need want a complete coverage that was direct to Deductible Collision which I them being that high, to give me a dog, because my father problems what so ever, thing there going to the cheapest on offer. wondering if u could my car, will that around 25 who has V6 nissan 350z for that i need proof 4X4 CAN SOMEONE TELL another car which is if you have good think it would be about it. I was for the annual insurance it just average? Or has no private insurance? auto insurance? Do you any cheap health insurance insurance? and.. Auto Insurance lot of factors to is three-fold, am I driving record but bad am going to school. .

[rectusdominus]

50 Questions Game

I was tagged by @lordfartwad thanks ily

1. what takes up too much of your time? panicking about things out of my control

2. what makes your day better? good music, sunshine, dancing/performing, working out and accomplishing something new

3. what’s the best thing that happened to you today? nothing happened today. eating toast was the best thing to happen today.

4. what fictional place would you like to go? Pandora would be cool? idk

5. are you good at giving advice? most of my advice is useless in a practical sense, so no

6. do you have any mental illness? yeah depression, there’s definitely an anxiety related problem in there somewhere

7. have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? no but I’ve woken up multiple times with my arm completely numb and immovable and had to manually wake it up again. not great.

8. what musician inspired you the most? Kurt Cobain which sounds cliche but it’s valid. Billie Joe Armstrong is also up there

9. have you ever fallen in love? I technically say no, but I fall in love with different things in a romantic sense every day

10. what’s your dream date? fun thing would be a concert or to the movies, dinner either at a place or outside somewhere, maybe we can just fuck around town at night and then sit outside somewhere until it’s late. I want spontaneous fun with friends or partners idk

11. what do others notice about you? don’t really know, probably how uncomfortable/unprepared I am in social situations

12. what is the annoying habit you have? there’s too much to unpack here

13. do you still talk to your first love? not applicable

14. how many ex’s do you have? not applicable

15. how many songs are on your playlist? I have too many playlists but my spotify library is maxed out at 10,000

16. what instruments can you play? I used to play clarinet but I can’t really play anything

17. who do you have the most pictures of? myself probably, I don’t have friends

18. where would you like to go before you die? Vegas again, Italy would be cool, but definitely Vegas

19. what is your zodiac? Leo

20. do you relate to it? now that I’m mentally stable? hell yeah

21. what is happiness to you? performing in front of a big crowd under lights, the thrill being on a big roller coaster on a hot summer day, watching the kids I coach succeed

22. are you going through anything right now? college stuff, getting a car/license, deciding on what I want to do in the next few years/where I want to be with myself

23. what’s the worst decision you’ve ever made? oh I’m not going down that road but thanks for asking

24. what’s your favourite store? Journey’s even tho I never buy anything there, I really should, the stuff is cool. I’m also really into sports apparel stores idk

25. what’s your opinion on abortion? I don’t necessarily “like” it but like.. it’s a safer option in some medical scenarios and also it’s none of my business if that’s something you want to do it’s better to have the option

26. do you keep a bucket list? not for my life, but I have stuff for the year or “by the time I’m this age” I take it as it comes

27. do you have a favourite album at the moment? The Menzingers, After the Party will always be The One

28. what do you want for your birthday? a tattoo or some piercings or a car or all of the above. NO WAIT I need to go skydiving bc I didn’t do it before I turned 20 so I have to do it while I’m 20

29. what are most peoples first impression of you? uhhh idk probably uncomfortable, seems kinda closed off so possibly bitchy, and idk she dresses kinda weird but I respect it

30. what age do you seem according to most people? younger than 20 I’ll tell you that

31. where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? too close to my head but it’s so I hear the alarm/vibration to wake up

32. what word or phrase do you say the most? I say “dude”, “bro”, “yo”, “sweet”, “sick”, and I use the word “just” a lot in sentences for some reason. I sound like a 14 year old in 1992

33. what’s the oldest age you would date? idk 23-25? it would have to be like.. really worth it tho

34. what’s the youngest age you would date? 19, I think my limit would always be a year or two younger than me

35. what job/career do most people say would suit you? they don’t really

36. what’s your favourite music genre? rock music

37. if you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? besides here in hell idk maybe New Zealand? I don’t like anywhere, we’re all fucked

38. what is your current favourite song? “Smile Like You Mean It” by The Killers

39. how long have you had this blog for? since early 2012 I think

40. what are you excited for? the future

41. are you a better talker or listener? listener, I can’t talk for shit

42. what is the last productive thing you did? try to make sure my college money is useful to me

43. what do you want for Christmas? a tattoo pls thanks

44. what class do you get the best grades in? apparently math? but really just the ones I care the most about

45. on a scale from 1-10, how are you feeling right now? maybe an 8 just because I’m content but I do seriously wish I had something to do

46. what can you see yourself doing in 10 years? being a choreographer/coaching, or working behind the scenes somewhere for something related to my major

47. when did you get your first heartbreak? when my parents got divorced when I was 9, but it was for the best so !! yay

48. at what age do you want to get married? when/if it’s the time but not until after I’m 30

49. what career did you want to have as a child? I wanted to blow glass or be a welder or something

50. what do you crave right now? adventure

I tag: @whatlomalikes @boodhirooks @solovalker @gayperry @kingfindekano @bicon-pappymcpoyle and anyone else idk

[thetaekswoon]

NCT Jungwoo| Camp Counselor AU

Ok so like we all know Lucas is hot af (and my age whoops I might as well go have a stroke now), but like Jungwoo... JUNGWOO MAN, that boy, that bOI.  I love him.  

Jungwoo:

Jungwoo is the counselor for the Coyote Cabin (boys ages 5 to 6) and he really loves working with the little kids!

Jungwoo is just so soft and kind and gentle and loving and wonderful and perfect, he was made to work with little kids, and that was why he was placed to work with the youngest cabin at the camp.

Like head counselor for the Coyote cabin is Yoongi and he was unfortunately placed in this cabin against his will (Yoongi wanted to be in a cabin for the older kids), and fellow counselor Sanha is too young to work in a cabin for any of the older kiddos, but like Jungwoo just genuinely enjoys working with all the little kids.

They all call him big brother or uncle Jungwoo because they all love him so much oh.

In a highkey bromance with fellow counselor Lucas, and everytime they walk by a group of middle-aged female campers they all go ooohhh and ahhhh and start humming “bromance” by nigahiga...

(I’m so sorry not sorry that i had to remind y’all about that, but yeah that was a necessity in this piece)

Jungwoo works down in the barn area at the camp and specializes in the little cuter animals like the chickens and geese, the rabbits, guinea pigs, and hedgehogs.  Basically all the small animals.

 and Jungwoo isn’t like a particular animal person, like he can’t really stand getting all down and dirty with the horses or alpacas like the counselors that specialize in those areas do...

or like Lucas who literally is always covered in dirt or mud

... but he does like working with the small animals, they’re cleaner and he thinks they’re nicer, but in reality all the animals just really like Jungwoo because he is incredibly soft and gentle with them, letting them do their own thing for the most part.

That and the fact that he always carries little treats in the pockets of his shorts.

Jungwoo has two favorite animals at the camp and they are this large Rex rabbit named Baby who likes to cuddle up into his chest and nap, and this older white goose he calls Blah Blah because it always likes to make a lot of noise whenever it realizes that food is around, but otherwise is rather quiet and likes to rest by the door of the barn, so it greets everybody.

People around the camp call Jungwoo many versions of his name, almost everyone has a cute petname for him.

many of the staff close to Jungwoo call him Woos, or something of the sort, while the campers in his cabin typically call him Zeus.

Jungwoo really likes it when the weather is cool enough so that he can walk around the camp wearing his shorts and his oversized camp sweatshirt.  he just looks so cute and soft and cuddly that everybody can’t help, but notice it and compliment him.

tbh Jungwoo just likes the feeling of oversized clothing... lol imagine wearing junwoo’s oversized clothes i would die hahaha ha... anyway...

love and protect this boy

basically everyone loves Jungwoo and thinks he’s the most perfect, loving, soft and kind boy...

... that is except you.

For whatever reason Jungwoo just rubs you the wrong way.

like there wasn’t anything in particular that he first did to annoy you, but essentially ever since you first met him you just couldn’t stand to be around him.

You didn’t understand why everybody loved him so much, yes he was nice, but HELL you were nice and you didn’t have a cult following you around all day saying how perfect and lovable you were.

, and you are pretty darn stinking cute too!!!

And it isn’t just that he’s popular that makes you dislike him, it’s just that he always seems to get his way, like every little situation ends up in his favor and he just seems to brush it off like... whatever.

and to be fair every time he has tried talking to you he’s been really nice and even kinda funny not that you would ever give in and laugh at one of his jokes but you just can’t help not liking this guy.

 At first Jungwoo was simply hurt by your “seething hatred” towards him, as your fellow Bobcat cabin counselor Joy put it, and he tried his best to make you like him.

Poor boy went so out of his way to try and make you feel better towards him that he even once offered to wash your car to which you replied, “Wash my car?!??  What are you crazy?  I can do that myself.” and then stormed off.

To be fair, that offer of his was a bit too much, but he just felt desperate to earn your approval at that point he felt miserable, no one had ever disliked him so much as you and he felt like he had tried everything within his power to fix that.

after many attempts to ease your hatred he just decided to back off and stay away.

, but you didn’t really hate Jungwoo, he just kinda annoyed you.  His presence irked you and made you do and say things that you wouldn’t normally say and do.

Maybe all it was, was that Jungwoo just was TOO nice.

One day it was hot and gross and sticky and overall miserable at the camp.  It was barely even noon and the sun already felt like too much on your backs.

Everyone was sweating and agitated and felt terrible because of the too hot weather, and Jungwoo was not an exception.

On the outside of course he looked relatively calm and collected, just like how he always is, and it pissed you off like how could someone be just as happy go lucky today as every other day.  

 Little did you know that Jungwoo was not so happy.  In fact he was kinda really angry.

See, everyone kind of expected Jungwoo to always be so soft and nice, so he tried to keep up that persona for everyone, especially the kids, but a lot had happened to him and he just wanted to vent off all this steam.

First of all, that morning one of the campers accidentally let all of the chickens out of their hutch so he had to run all around the barnyard trying to catch all of them. 

then, one of the kids got into a fight with another kid over how long their turn had been holding the hamsters and it got kind of physical kinda fast.  Too fast for Jungwoo to keep one kid from leaving a heavy black and blue mark on the other’s eye.

He hadn’t even been able to eat breakfast that morning because the staff member that typically fed the animals down at the barn in the mornings called in sick with the flu and Jungwoo had to step in to do it, however he was not entirely familiar with the feed schedules of the larger farm animals and ended up missing breakfast while he tried to dish out the food correctly.

Jungwoo was literally having one of the worst days ever, and he kept it all held in.

That was until the staff meeting during lunch, Jungwoo still hadn’t eaten and at this point it was looking like was wasn’t going to get anything for lunch or he’d have to skip chewing all together to finish eating in time, and to make matters worse... he was sitting next to you.

, now up until this point Jungwoo had had no problem with you despite your evident problem with him, but for whatever reason every time you tapped your pencil against the table it felt like he was getting a blow to the head.

When camp director Leeteuk asked for Jungwoo’s advice on how to solve a current camp issue, how to keep all the kids cool when it was a million and eight degrees outside, Jungwoo suggested that maybe they should give each cabin a time slot to go swimming in either the lake or the pool, you immediately raised your hand and said that his idea wasn’t good enough.

You said that a better solution would be to clear out the air conditioned buildings and put a projector up for them to watch a movie or two, at least until the sun went down.

Jungwoo was furious.  

at this moment he felt nothing more than hatred and disgust towards you, just like you towards him.

He was so angry, his idea was fine, it was good, why the hell were you such a bitch???

Your voice made him sick, he was so hot and gross and felt absolutely miserable that just looking at you made him feel vile and like he was going to explode.

and then he did.

As soon as the meeting ended he couldn’t stop himself from calling you out... louder than he had thought he was but at this point his voice’s pitch meant nothing to him.

He cursed and shouted about how you were being such a cold bitch towards him the whole summer and that he didn’t need to put up with all of your bs because “ALL I’VE EVER BEEN WAS NICE TO YOU, WHY THE HELL DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH?  WHAT THE HELL DID I EVER DO TO YOU TO MAKE YOU SUCH A BITCH TOWARDS ME? HUH?”

he went on and on yelling at you, all the other counselors and staff standing around watching Jungwoo actually lose his shit for the first time in pure shock.

And then theres you, listening in absolute awe.

Why was it that you couldn’t stand Jungwoo when he was being nice, but that when he was angry and mean he.,.. turned you on?

You always recognized that he was attractive, you had to give him that, maybe that was one of the reasons why you didn’t like him, but he was never HOT to you,

, but now, Jungwoo standing over you cursing you out for being such a shitty person Jungwoo was H O T.

His hair was all sweaty and he had rolled up his sleeves because of the absurdly warm weather, exposing his shoulders, and he was just going for it.

“IF YOU HATE ME SO MUCH WHY DON’T YOU JUST PRETEND I DON’T EXIST THEN THAT’LL BE BETTER FOR EVERYBODY!”

and just like that he was gone.  Jungwoo vanished.

He had stormed out, and everyone was just silent.  Jungwoo never acted like that and thank god Leeteuk had already left the room otherwise someone could have gotten in big trouble.

Everyone there was staring at you in disbelief, and you were just as shocked yourself,

not knowing what to do you stand up and charge after him, quickly making eye contact with Joy, fellow counselor of the Bobcat cabin telling her that you’ll be out for a minute.

You didn’t know much about Jungwoo so when he was out of your sight you didn’t know where he may be off to.

 all you knew was that he worked down in the barns, so that was where you went to go look for him first, and lucky enough there he was.

He looked so angry, so blind sided, powerful and ANGRY back after the meeting, but now..., Jungwoo is sitting on the floor with his head in his hands between his legs and he just looks utterly exhausted.

You know that he hears you walking up to him, but jungwoo doesn’t bother lifting his head up.

almost as if his lash out took all of his energy away.

“Can I sit?” you ask him

, the poor boy flinches at the sound of your voice, but doesn’t say anything.

So you sit down next to him.  Surprising even yourself at how close you sit next to him, your shoulders touching.

To a stranger this scene may look like two close friends comforting one another, but in reality you two know practically nothing about each other, and you’re not exactly comforting one another.

It seems like Jungwoo is breaking down, his breathing is rough and fast and it is the only sound besides the rare flutter of feathers and cry of an animal in the barn, most of them out in their pasture anyway.

, so together you sit in the silence and it isn’t that bad, not that awkward or anything.  You’re just concerned over Jungwoo’s wellbeing at this point.

Once his breathing has calmed down a bit you finally open your mouth to say something, but you can’t think of the right words to say.

“Um, you know....” you start, and though he doesn’t look up from between his knees you can tell that he’s listening to you, “I don’t actually hate you.”

It’s the truth.  You haven’t really felt anything negative towards Jungwoo for a while now, but by this point in the summer it felt to strange to admit those feelings to him.  However, if you had known that it was eating away at him so badly then maybe you would have said something sooner.

Jungwoo sucks in a breath, he didn’t expect you to say that, he thought you were going to say something mean, that you had come here to take on some kind of revenge for humiliating you earlier like that in front of everybody.  

  he thought that you had come here to make him cry, to be fair at this point any bad words about him would probably have poor jungwoo crying into his hands, hes had such a terrible day.

, but maybe this was just your way of getting back at him, pretending that you’re no longer “enemies”

He stays quiet.

“I don’t know why I acted so awful towards you, all those times I’ve snapped back or made you feel worthless.  I don’t think I meant any of it, really.  I think I was just kind of trapped in this fake illusion of you that I created in my head - if that makes any sense.”

what you say next takes away any doubt in your sincerity in Jungwoo’s mind.

“I’m sorry.  I cannot say that enough, I’m so freaking sorry.”

And Jungwoo is so shocked that slowly, he begins to sit up and lean back against the wall.

his face is flushed you notice, turning to look right at him while he keeps his head faced forward, his cheeks and forehead are red and his eyes are a little puffy,,, you wonder if he’d been crying or if he was about to.

“I’m sorry too.” Jungwoo says eventually.  Very quiet, almost whispering.  “I’m sorry that I raised my voice.”

and with that you can’t help but let out a little laugh, looking forward.

for the first time he turns to look at you.  “What?”

“Nothing,,,. nothing.” you tell him, “It’s just that I really was such a freaking bitch.”

He chuckles.  and you push a little into his shoulder, a little playfully, and he does it back.

You two fall into another silence together, but this time it’s nice and calming.  You’re looking over a little above his shoulder and him kind of the same. and then you’re staring at his face, and it takes jungwoo a while to notice this, but when he does he looks up at you, his eyebrows asking whats going on,

 and you say to him quietly, “I have a weird feeling right now.”

“What kind of feeling?” he whispers, this all feels so scenic like from a movie with the light coming in from the open barn doors.

“I just really want to kiss you right now, I’m sorry I know that’s out of bounds.” you say, expecting him to move away from you or act any differently than he is now, but Jungwoo just stays where he is, silent, and watches you.

He seems to be thinking things over in his head, and after a few moments of him not moving away, you lean forward, just a little bit...

 Jungwoo doesn’t seem to be annoyed or move, so you reach up, placing your hands on either side of his face

his skin is smooth and warm

And you press your lips against his, lightly at first, and after he doesn’t make any moves to stop you, staying rather still, you kiss him slightly harder, and after a few moments of simply kissing him, Jungwoo starts kissing you back.

His hand behind your neck is firm and keeps you in place.

Kim Jungwoo is a much better kisser than you anticipate him to be, not that you had ever even thought about kissing him before 30 seconds ago. 

 the kiss doesn’t last long, it’s quick and sweet.  Neither of you can keep the smile from spreading across your face.

“I’m not asking if we’re good, cause well i don’t really know, but like... are we good?” you ask.

“Yeah, I think so.” He whispers, and rests his forehead on yours.

You two stay down at the barn just sitting there for about twenty minutes or so until you decide to head back up to the main camp together,

, and needless to say... everybody is shocked to see you two together... being so,, civil.

 like you’re not trying to make a spectacle of yourselves, you don’t hold hands or anything - though you couldn’t help but wonder what people’s reactions would be like if you two showed up and you were, probably similar but just a lot more hanging jaws - you just stand really close, talking like normal ass human beings, maybe even friends.

When you turn to head over to your cabin group which is resting in the shade at the end of the field, Jungwoo gives you slight shoulder squeeze and a nod before heading over to his group.

Approaching your group, Joy gives you the “wtf” look and you just shrug,

“Guess things just worked themselves out.” you say, sitting down next to her.

“That’s some magic stuff right there.... Wait.” she looks at you, takes your head in her hands and starts moving you around like a mother, “wait omg you’re glowing.  omg Y/N what the hell!??  Did you...” her voice is surprised, but low enough to stay out of earshot of the campers.

“No, no nothing like that.” you tell her.  “and besides it’s none of your business anyway.”

“he just hugged you.  Jungwoo hugged you are you’re not fuming? I just don’t understand.”

“pfff, he barely hugged me, I wouldn’t even call it that.”

“Whatever it was, you’re wild girl.” and you laugh.

For the rest of the summer there are no more conflicts between Jungwoo and yourself, but there are no more kisses either :( 

, however there was one time when a bunch of the staff went out hiking on their day off that you two sort of snuck off and vibed out by a small creek, listening to music and dare I say holding hands every once and a while.

Truth be told, you were much happier working at the camp with Jungwoo as a friend, he quickly became one of the closest people to you within the following weeks,

all those reasons why you hated him soon made you adore about him, he was more of a listener than I talker, he always made his words count, He was devoted and gentle and lovely, his oversized sweaters make him look so cute and huggable, the sweaters so very stealable,

, though nothing really continued to blossom between you two during the summer there is always the hope of next year, both of you already signed up to be counselors again for the following year,

, and besides you do have his number.

<><> do not edit/remove anything from the original post <><> this AU belongs to me <><>

[mattyslittleworld]

dead mans coffee

July / 2020

Just woke up in my front seat, at a rest stop in Tennessee. First thing I saw was my ALL WILL SUFFER tattoo on my leg. A constant reminder of a different person. Tomorrow I’m getting coffee with Skrillex’s right hand man in Nashville, and I’m nursing a cold coffee in the heat watching this crazy lightning shoot across the skyline. It looks like the end of the world. Or some fucked up Lucero song. I must’ve pulled over for a second and closed my eyes and just dropped dead for hours while parked, I’m on the way to my hotel. 

I am sitting in a diner on broadway in Nashville, TN. Nursing another shitty coffee booking meetings. As the texts come in I ignore them because they are covering the screen and distracting me from reading and studying how to properly sell my soul to the devil at the crossroads In Mississippi. 

Clarksdale, Mississippi

12:30 am

Where Robert Johnson, Bob Dylan, and now, Matty Carlock, sold their souls to the devil. 

December / 2020

Sitting in my home, in Hollywood, CA. I have the window open, and I hear the subtle sound of LA breathing, cars passing on the boulevard, sirens off in the distance, and a vinyl record of mine spinning at the lowest volume possible for me to still hear yet ignore it. I feel calm and at peace, although, it seems like a parallel feeling is war, confusion, imposter syndrome, abandonment, and skeptical. How could these two umbrellas of emotion coexist? Its very interesting. Ive been recording so much music that has nothing to do with my artist project. Its been liberating to put that aside for something greater. A new focus. Leaving artistry a vessel solely for extreme self expression and cathartic release. 

July / 2020

Winding the day down, 10:30pm. With an open tab that reads “Tigers Jaw holiday show” - on pause. I open my Mac book on my couch, ready to go through stems and ratchet strip club beats, and it catches my eye. I press play and it leads me down a rabbit hole. I find myself watching “Never Saw It Coming” right into “Chemicals” / live in Boston. Like lightning it struck through my entire body. Maybe it was the 2 hour long conversation with Andy? And the memories we were trading. The bond we have over hard times, innocence, violence, literal blood on the pavement, years of freezing in the winter....nowhere to go. The people that were around - we made forever memories to these two songs. I right away, made a playlist that consists of “The Sun, I Saw Water, Chemicals, Never Saw It Coming, and Planes”. On top of that I found the live acoustic set they recorded and put out. When I was young on DIY tours, sleeping on floors, dirty as shit, poor as shit, a human being at the very best.....the uncertainty of my near future was so bleak. I remember Title Fight came out with their record “Shed” - and the song “where am I?” would lay me down on long drives, or on the floor. I’d watch white lines pass one by one by one into the abyss of nothing. 

The line 

“Another floor

A different ceiling than the night before

Where am I?

While you’re back home”

Missing my girlfriend at that current time, leaving, and just laying on a strangers floor thinking where am I while you’re back home? What am I doing? Maybe there’s nothing only this moment?

On the tigers jaw live EP they covered this acoustic and it’s everything right now. I am fortunate to live a block away from the sunset strip - and I grabbed my skateboard and just bolted into the night. 

This SO SPECIFIC FEELING of these songs. That nobody in this environment will ever understand. It’s so beautiful. It’s so real. It’s so raw. It’s exactly what I need right now - as the past 3 weeks I’ve been living here have moved faster than the past 4 years. A loss of identity easily awaits you. It’s like you fight your whole life for that moment, to get to where you dream of, to get a shot. Scrape and crawl. And then reset. Since I’ve been living in Hollywood my day to day has been a huge mirror for me. The parts of myself I’ve been trying out run have caught me. Maybe all of this could coexist? 

March 2nd / 2021

Spring is here. Its 75 degrees in LA and theres this new thing I noticed while driving around…..the overbearing smell of flowers in the air. It sounds like a movie. Its fucked up cause It felt like a funeral in my car. I was like what the fuck is happening? It smells like a small funeral in here….are my dreams dying? Am I dying? Is punk dead? Okay its just a Ryan gosling movie out here I guess. Whatever lets go. Here’s some hatrebreed. But the windows are down. My mood is different. My spirit is lifted, which ive been desperate to say. I automatically get punched in the guts with the feeling of driving so fucking fast, and blasting title fight. Skateboarding. Looooooooooong drives with fucked up friends to out of state shows no one will be at. Im listening to Stab by Title Fight - off the Shed LP. What a specific time in my life this brings back. That I usually talk about on this little throw up blog often. Spring is such a pivotal time in my life every year. Since covid shows stopped - human decency stopped - community stopped - my natural habitat was taken from me, and all of my friends and family. I remember living in New York in 2011. At the New Yorker. I was studying at the Institute Of Audio Research to be a janitor in my home town. Because that’s what they teach you. Instead of studying compression, and listening to washed up hacks talk to me about music, I would walk out my building onto 8th ave. B Line it Penn Station. Get on the LIRR and ride that shit right into the best LI shows every night I could. Id meet all my friends from Jersey / NYC / Philly and even Baltimore because it was so common to make it a priority to no matter what, drive hours on end to support a hardcore shows and to not lose touch with the hundreds around the country that you call family. Drive to Richmond for a shows on a Monday night, go off, hit a diner after with your new found tribe, then drive home, be back at 6 am, and just stumble into your bullshit job with a black eye or scratches all over you. It was all worth it. Probably quit that job anyway to go on tour with your friends band and live as gypsies for the entire summer too. Spring embodies this spirit for me. Church parking lots in Doylestown, PA - full of kids from all over the country, who left their problems in their hometown, to just get on the road with their best friends and basically start a new life. It is just amazing how formative those years were for a lot of my friends. I have people I met at shows from all over the country messaging me always checking in, and supporting, and sometimes it feels like I know them better than my first cousins, aunts and uncles. We were at war together. We fought against the world together. We found ourselves together. We created shit from nothing. Determination and passion. Oh no….Planes by Tigers Jaw just came on. You know the vibe. This shit just hits so different now as a pop / hip hop producer. This PA scene, mixed with NJHC, just stood me up and gave me confidence to have my own voice, my own thoughts, and to fight back. Something about being in a shitty car and it smells like dirty vans and like…..axe to cover up the smell. BELTING Basement and car moshing and almost driving off a bridge. Listen. I know every single blog is about this. But fuck you fight me. ITS CALLED SELF EXPRESSION GRANDMA. SO STRAP INTO YOUR BOOT THINGS AND ENJOY THE RIDE TO NOWHERE. Its been crazy living in LA. I live directly on Hollywood BLVD, on the Walk Of Fame. Where I was almost killed two weeks ago over someones gang that my ass is not in. My guy looked at me and said YO YOU MATTY? And I was listening to Taylor swift in my headphones walking back from Starbucks and it was so funny how different my energy was. I was like bro can you kill me already dude because these Taylor tones are so good that they gunna just end up killing me anyway. So perfect timing. I think the guy was mad at my friend to say the least lol. But every night its loud 808’s, the sounds of the city, amazing energy, and neon lights shining in from lit up billboards off the BLVD. Its such a culture shock for me. I feel like im too aggressive just from being east coast. But its just what it is. It took me a little to adapt to being in sessions and meetings with seasoned people in this industry who have major cuts and recognition. But I just learned to double down on myself, and be as authentic as I possibly can be. Theres nothing like crushing writing sessions in the pop realm, then turning off my shit, unplugging, and run into the night with my skateboard and old punk records. It’s almost like my own secret that is becoming my blood. I haven’t been communicating with the ones who like my music, have interest in what im doing, come to my shows etc - since I touched down here….I just unplugged….started writing HEAVY and decided to dedicate months to getting better, learning, becoming smarter, discovering a vision that’s much broader than what were sold, finding myself, making sure my wisdom is parallel to my age - if not wise beyond my years. A lot of artists and bands SING, PLAY, PERFORM, PROMOTE. But I have decided to WATCH, ATTEND, and LISTEN. Everynight I sit down with tea, unplug, and spin records on my turntable…in the dark, in my living room, alone….all kinds of records. From The National, to Springsteen, to Title Fight, to Hendrix, to the rare Troublemaker LP and 7” I have…..Sharon Van Etten, Jesse Malin…..ugh. Its just bliss. Pure bliss. Right now im drinking coffee and bouncing from listening to Into It Over It and American Football. I spent all last night rapping my ass off, mixing, and singing ref vocals for other people. It was so fun. Im finding a lot of my new material is this spirit im talking about - but over hip hop production. I want to tell my life story and combat the stereotypes of modern rap and pop music with true intentions and unique tones of untold stories that press, radio, and this market usually doesn’t get fed. Ive also realized a lot of music I was promoting over the past year to come out (prior to the pandemic) hasn’t come out….and I know people are questioning that….what is happening? So before covid I had German solo dates booked - and then I was going to the UK right after. I have a bunch of single drops lined up with music videos. Some you can guess with who. And then the pandemic hit and I canceled everything and decided to pivot my focus into my passion for songwriting and production, instead of sitting around “waiting for shows to come back.” I pretended that shows were never going to come back and doubled down on my career as a producer, that at the time, still is, moving forward at a faster rate than my artist shit. So I packed my shit after offers, and opportunity presented themselves. Touched down on a Tuesday, with meetings that Friday. Off to the races. In sessions that following Monday. Fast forward here we are. Hungry, learning, learnt, turned 30. Looking at the next decade like Mcgregor at the weigh in. Fight ready. Ive learned so much since the fall that all of the music I had planned on releasing, I loaded it back up, tore it apart, and re built it. So its not stale, so its not expired, so its not “then”….so its NOW. Which im so glad I did, and im doing. I don’t think ive been in the booth more. My mind is so stimulated by this wave im on. And its got me in a good place. Now that the spirit of spring is here, my mental health is going to be taking a big leap as well and im going to do everything I can to just flood all of this content. I think Never Meant by American Football is the best song ever made. Me and Mike were talking about doing a song together a few months ago and that would be such a trip for me. 

I wanted to talk about my recent trip to Joshua Tree. I was invited by Christopher Thorn from Blind Melon to live at his studio for a few days to write together. I didn’t really know what to expect. I met him once or twice thru Clinch, and just around the Sea Hear Now circle back east, and I was familiar with No Rain (his hit). We got on the phone, picked a weekend where it’d work for both of us, got some covid tests, and boom. Packed my shit again (right off a flight back from New York, where I shot 3 music videos, and did 1 remote session in 2 fucking days), and drove out to the desert. There is no address so I had a map. It was epic. It was in the desert desert. Like THE DESERT FAM. Coyotes at night, snakes and shit. The air was so dry, your lips would get chapped to let you know death was right around the corner so you better man up baby boy. Beforehand - from all the traveling and flights, and burning myself out on videos and sessions, I found myself listening to a lot of acoustic Nebraska Springsteen type shit. John Moreland, or even like acoustic bayside, Lucero, Leonard Cohen, Tom Waits…..just pure music with no samples, not gridded, not sold, no machine, no click, just real live country music inspired by the human condition….of the earth. It was just speaking to my soul…..so when we booked this to get in the room together….man was I ready. I don’t think ive had an experience so fruitful to the soul. And ive played shows in Slovenia, and sipped espresso on a bridge that looked like a painting, staring at subtle mountain tops off in the distance like I was a character in some book. We started working at night and ran it up till like 3 am. As the sun came down the lights off in the distance miles and miles away were so clear because we were just the only life form around….and it would just shine into the studio windows and reflect on the perimeter making it seem like we were surrounded by New York City. It did a lot for my soul to play drums, acoustic, sing, play piano, shred electric, even mix a little. I felt like I made a very fast lifelong friend. Its been a minute since I got on with someone like that. We talked a lot about growing up touring. And wed finish each others sentences regarding topics that ONLY people like us would know. Like Subway being a life line for DIY touring, or the weird strange feelings of comfort from rest stops in the middle of nowhere at 4 am, the rest stop coffee that you get to just make the next 2 hours of the drive into town bearable. But then you see your boy from your band in the other aisle so you throw shit at him. Then you all stumble back into the van/bus and just disappear into the night. This shit was so needed for me. When Id wake up, id make espresso, and just sit out front and listen to Joe Rogan, at this random chair that was behind his studio, facing the mountains. Just endless property waiting to leave you 6 feet in the ground. I sat there and sipped my espresso, and just reflected on the long journey of my career. How many random moments like this ive found myself in since I was 15. In the middle of the desert where Springsteen hangs out with my heroes, off the strength of my songwriting. Or in Romania drinking coffee, fucked off, on a bench far from the venue, by random train lines in the pouring rain by myself. The farthest from humanity I can be. Or the random VFW hall in my head that I don’t even know where it is, with my little punk crew, who all smell like complete shit and cigarettes and soda, fucked off god knows where, just to finger point and sing along to this band we found on myspace that were in OUR hometown the weekend prior singing to our band. Theres just an endless string of memories that can go on forever, with stories that just fulfill a lifetime, of conversations that just make the white lines on I95 move faster. Or just everyone is quiet - reading a book - texting - exhausted from the night prior - and you just ABRUPTLY turn on teenage dream by Katy Perry SOOOO LOUD - take your shirt off and start dropping it like its hot from the passenger front seat, and catch a mid afternoon front flip stage dive into the backseat. From those youthful days of this underground spirit, to existing in a realm of pure monsters of my craft, I truly believe this next decade could co exist and be one for the books. Damn I feel good. Also me and Sasso started a book club called BSU and you can’t be in it because you probably read books and the only rule for our book club besides not speaking about book club is, you can’t read books. Okay im going to go buy a bike right now so I can ride It to Mexico and get abducted by the cartel and sold for bitcoin. FAREWELL EARTHLINGZ. 

[egobangin-tonight]

gOD okay im doing a rant about work bc i dont know where else to put it and i need to Screm™

(Its v long srry)

For people who are new, I work in a hospital, i work in an ER, and im a secretary. All i do is answer calls, transfer calls to doctors and nurses, and set up transportation for patients when theyre deemed ready to go upstairs (by the doctor and the nurse) after the admitting department has provided a bed for the patient.

I cannot stress that last bit enough; i set up transportation AFTER all steps have been checked off. I am the LAST person in a chain of events that allows a patient to get upstairs. As a secretary I have no actual power; i am physically unable to interact with any part of this process except for the one assigned to me.

SO

Around 12:20, i get a call from a man asking for a status update on their father. Elderly man whos been waiting for a bed for about 2 hours now. Our ER is insanely crowded compared to most hospitals and today our census was around 90-100 (which is average for us). Having a long wait time is to be expected, especially since the floors patients get admitted to are equally booked and crowded.

So i tell the man the typical response i give to people inquiring about relatives waiting to go upstairs, “the patient is going to be staying overnight but there is currently no bed assigned.”

“so do you know when he’ll be going upstairs??”

“No, from my screen it says that they are still currently waiting for the bed to become available on the floor. So until the space is freed up somehow, they will have to stay in the Emergency Room.”

Now this is usually when they say “can i speak to the nurse taking care of so n so; i just want to make sure theyre okay” or “oh thats okay, i just wanted to make sure they were on the board”. But no, this dude couldnt be okay with either of those choices.

“So you cant tell me when theyre going upstairs?”

“No, I cant. Were not the ones who distribute the beds. Thats Admittings responsibility.” (I literally just gave him is answer 30 seconds ago)

“So who can I talk to to get information on my dad?”

“…do you…do you mean his current status? Because then I can transfer you to his nurse-”

“No i mean information on his bed.”

“Admitting.”

“Can u transfer me there?”

So I transfer him. Poof, gone, goodbye, hope he gets his answers.

IMMEDIATELY, he calls back. “Is this the emergency room?”

“Yes, how can i help you?”

*repeats the entire thing again*

“Sir, i CANT help, admitting is the only department that can give you any answers. If theyre transferring you back to me, its because they cannot help you.”

“But there has to be some kind of waiting list. If hes going upstairs, who determines who gets a bed upstairs first?”

So like, the problem is that he 1) does not work here and 2) does not understand what the actual issue is. Because his dad is most certainly next in line. The problem is that the floors are so filled to the brim with sick patients that theres No Space For Him. Its not us trying to withhold beds, its us having more sick patients than we can handle.

And its even more complicated than that: some people are special needs and require an enclosed room. Some people are in isolation, some people are contagious, some people are a fall risk, some people need security, some people need 24/7 surveillance. Because the floors are so packed, we have Hallway Beds which is basically just the ER but with less patients so its calmer and quieter. Some people dont qualify for the hallway placements or ‘Overflow Beds’ because of the aforementioned needs.

Basically, his dad needed a bed on a floor that was at max capacity and unless there were some extreme last minute changes, there wouldnt be any space.

So i tell him “We CANT speed up the process any faster, we have to wait for people to leave the floor and make space for him.” Its like a car on the curb blocked in by two other cars. Yeah, you want the space that car is in, but until those other two cars are dealt with, youre just gonna have to sit there.

He asks if he could get transferred again so I transferred him.

They IMMEDIATELY transfer him back. So i transfer him again. This time, before they transfer him back to me, they tell us to transfer him to our Charge Nurse. So we do that. And for 5 minutes, hes on the phone w our Charge before she tells us to transfer him back to admitting. So we transfer him AGAIN.

and he calls us !! Either they hung up on him or they ignored the call but he calls back asking for the Charge Nurse. And when she refuses to pick up, he asks for admitting.

This went on for over a fucking hour. An hour of ONE fucking ignorant entitled selfish piece of shit calling and harrassing us to page “The Charge Nurse” “Admitting” “The nurse taking care of my dad” “The DOCTOR taking care of my dad”.

And every single time he called it was for one of these people. And the problem was that we all talked to him!! All of us!! I talked to him! My coworkers did! The charge, admitting, the nurse, the doctor !! They all answered and he still kept calling. And it was getting to a point where we started ignoring his number because he was stopping us from answering OTHER calls.

And he would call from other numbers because we werent answering his call.

Just

AN HOUR AND A HALF of nonstop calling for what ?? To expedite your dad upstairs?? To skip everyone else whos been waiting ahead of him? Why do u think your dad deserves special treatment??

No one understands how our paging system works; i just hold the call and it gets set to 1 of 19 speeddial numbers. And i page that specific speeddial number overhead in the loudspeaker. I cannot physically force anyone to pick up that number; if they hear it and choose to ignore it, i can never MAKE them answer it.

At around 1:30, i notice that his dad has received a bed. Which is good! So when he calls, im still fucking irritated but i tell him “is this about your dad? Bc he now has a bed and-”

“Oh I already know that, i already talked to the charge nurse and admitting and made that happen”

What?

“You made that happen?”

“Yes, im just trying to talk to the doctor for something else”

So I transfer him to the doctor and stare at my coworker bewildered bc…this dude is full of shit lmao Theres no way HE did it, this is not any random fast food joint where you can complain to the manager and get shit done your way. Everything is done in order, no amount of yelling or grovelling is gonna make anything go faster. Because its not that we dont FEEL like admitting people, its that we as an entire unit cannot FIT that many people.

So either 1) the patient left. Either AMA (against medical advice) or discharged. And discharge is more likely because if the patient that left was an elderly or bedconfined patient, then an ambulance couldve picked them up to bring them back to a nursing home or something similar

2) the patient in the room was downgraded to a hallway bed WHILE they were on the floor. Which is believable but AWFUL. Hallway beds are just stretchers in the hall, and you can get an Actual room when one opens up: all it does is allow you to be in a floor with a max of 30 people instead of a floor of up to 150+ people. So to get bumped down is terrible

Or 3) someone who had a hallway bed and was waiting for a regular bed got bumped and skipped in favor of this random dudes dad. Which is EQUALLY bad

But also, I really didnt know what this dude wanted. Because now that hes got the bed i would assume thats finished and he could just go to sleep or something. Once the bed is assigned and the last charting is complete, getting them upstairs is SUPER quick compared to everything else. About 20 mins max to pick up the patient and travel across the hospital to get them upstairs.

But hes apparently been bugging the doctors to complete their charts, harrassing the nurses to do the same; the entire 20 or so minutes i was ignoring him was to essentially get them to finish the chart. But like…??? They have other patients?? And they had to stop what they were doing to answer the calls. And even they stopped responding because they knew that if they heard their name over the loudspeaker, it was because of this dude.

So finally, at like 1:50, I pick up the line. And hes asking for the doctor. And i ask him WHY is he calling the doctor, because theyre not gonna pick up for him, and all i can do is page overhead.

And in the most fake, cali girl kind of voice (bc he DID have a cali girl voice only now it was clearly fake chill) “well, i WAS trying to get the doctor to pick up the phone but maybe you can help me instead.”

“Oh, I’ll definitely try my best.”

“So is there anyway I can get my dad upstairs a bit faster?”

And im like u fucking idiot, you fucking dick wasting all this time, all MY TIME “See you called at 1:30”

“Yes.”

“And i asked, i specifically asked 'was this about your dad? Because he has a bed right now’ and you dismissed me because you felt that the doctor could give you answers, not realizing that if you had just told me 'yes, its about my dad’ i wouldve told you that everything was set up and that we were waiting for transportation to bring them upstairs.”

“Well yes but-”

“So because you thought you were cutting out the middle man, you made me page these nurses and doctors overhead to get NOTHING done. When I couldve just answered you from the getgo.”

And im so irritated and HEATED bc this dude called for 30 minutes just to make his dad skip ahead of everyone else and there was NO way i was letting that happen.

“So is he just waiting for transportation to go upstairs?”

“Yes.”

“Is there anyway I can do that myself?”

“??? No?? Only the transporter can bring them upstairs.”

“Why?”

“???????because its their job????????? Thats what they do???? Bring patients from the ER to the floor.”

“So you mean to tell me that I have to wait? Wait like I had to wait for admitting to get off their asses and get my dad a bed?”

“Thats generally what happens when theres a line of people; you go in order”

So i tell him, “Do you work here? Because unless you are a transporter you are physically unable to bring him upstairs” and hes like “well i should be because no one else in this hospital is doing their job. How is it I managed to get my dad a bed in just three minutes?? How is it that if hes being transported from one department to another, why cant I just wheel him up in a wheelchair.” Im answering his stupid questions as simply as possible but hes just refusing to listen. Like why we need to have transporters transport patients (bc the ID is the only thing that unlocks the door, bc the transporters are the only ones with access to the whole building) or like why its going to take longer because we have limited transporters tonight.

And like..i need to leave…bc i just have no tolerance for people anymore. I cant do it, i get so livid, i wanted to break my phone and smash it into the wall. If this fucker was out on the block i wouldve been throwing fists; he WOULD be catching these fucking hands.

I cant remember word for word what he was saying because it was just him yelling and cursing at me about how this entire building is incompetent, how we told him to wait until his dad got a bed and if he had listened, if he hadnt INTERVENED, he would STILL be waiting, that if he was working there things would be going alot more smoother, shit would be getting done, how theres no reason the place should be understaffed because its the holiday weekend and we should be prepared for this (not realizing that the department literally understaffs us BECAUSE its the holiday weekend and the census is always lower than usual)

Just him assuming no one was doing their job, then complaining for almost TWO HOURS and then assuming that his complaining worked when in reality it was just completely coincidental; that if he really 'got a bed in three minutes’ i wouldve seen a bed appear at 12:40, not 1:30.

And they taking it out on the transporters as if they WANT to be understaffed and stuck transporting patients to 7 different locations across the entire building; patients who need to go to the floors, to sono, to CT, to MRI, and then required to be taken back. To be so understaffed that people delegated to cleaning have to stop and pitch in once in a while to help their coworkers. And he had the NERVE to try and skip past people who were patiently waiting, who were waiting longer than his dad had been waiting.

He asked to speak to the “Head of transportation ” and i wanted to laugh so hard, i could not stop myself from mocking him “oh the HEAD of transportation! Let me transfer you.” Straight to the fucking operator lmao kiss my ass have fun trying to find that person at exactly 2:03am on a monday morning and a HOLIDAY no less

The dad eventually went upstairs. He waited like everyone else in this ER and from this point on, if he wants to cause a scene, im sending the son Straight to the floor his dad is sleeping on so he can harass them because i am done™

[ella-the-vamp-blog]

Dan and Phil

Dan walked around the cafeteria in his worn out converse and ripped jeans, trying to spot which table his friends were at today. As usual they were in the very corner of the cafeteria, all huddled together and laughing. Dan sat between Byrony and Phil as soon as he reached the table. Once he placed his school lunch down on the sticky table Phil instinctively wrapped a protective arm around his best friend’s waist. Phil didn’t know it, but Dan had a huge crush on him, anyone who met them definitely knew. Thats why their friends made fun of them constantly, because Dan had told them his obvious secret. “Tone down the PDA mate,” PJ laughed from the other side of the table. “Oh shut up PJ, you’re just jealous because you don’t have someone you can do this with,” Phil shot back. PJ just scoffed and Dan giggled, leaning into his friends touch. “As if, Chris clearly wants PJ to fuck him,” Dan said without thinking. “Dan! You said you could keep a secret you dick head!” Chris blushed violently and hid behind his own hands. “Wait what?!” PJ exclaimed as if it wasn’t obvious. Everyone laughed except for Chris, who was still hiding. PJ took Chris’s hand from his face and held it while whispering something that no one else could hear. “Oi, tone down the PDA mate,” Phil mocked. “Oh shut up Phil,” Byrony but in, “So how long have you and Dan been together Phil?” Dan blushed and hid in Phil’s side. If they kept making jokes like this Phil would find out soon, and he couldn’t have that, it would ruin his friendship with Phil. “Come on ass hat. You all know were not together and never will be,” Dan remarked. “Mhm sure honey,” ~~ Later that day they were all going out to a movie, Dan had a backpack with a blanket and “secret” snacks to sneak in for him and Phil. Knowing them, they’d end up putting away the arm rest in the theater and cuddling while wrapped in the blanket, no matter what movie it was. Dan found it as his own personal heaven and suggested movie nights each week months ago. It was his only way to get the physical affection he craves and not be teased by Peej. “Hey Phil, do you want to come over tonight? My mums not home, we could stay up all night.” Chris asked waiting in line for their tickets. “Sorry mate I’m already going to Dan’s tonight.” “Yeah to fuck!” Peej laughed at his own dumb adolescent joke. Byrony giggled and nodded her head. “You aren’t funny dick, we’re just friends!” Dan defended. “You literally sat in Phil’s lap on the way over here,” Byrony said while giggling more, “And he played with your hair!” “Thats what friends do!” “Uh huh sure” ~~ During the movie Dan had somehow migrated into Phils lap again. Phil was playing with his hair with one hand and rubbing agonizingly slow circles on Dan’s hip with the other. Dan had no clue how Phil did this and still somehow payed attention to the movie. The entire time he buried his head in Phils neck and he was imagining fucking Phil. He knows its wrong to think about these things while he’s in his best friends lap but he cant help it. Slowly Dan started to grow hard, he shook his head and tried to think about anything else. grandma grandma grandma. “You okay babe?” oh yeah, another thing, they always called each other babe and baby, but they’re just friends mind you. “Mhm just tired,” Dan faked a yawn and snuggled farther into Phil’s neck. “Go to sleep then, I’ll carry you out to the car later and wake you up when we get back to your house.” “Mmk darlin, night.” Although Dan was faking the yawn he was quite tired, and he wanted to stay up late tonight. He decided it was best to just stick with the lie and go to sleep on Phils chest. ~~ Dan was currently snoring lightly on Phil’s chest and muttering something incomprehensible while being carried out to the car. “Oi, wake princess up,” Chris snickered. “I’ll just sit him on my lap and buckle him in with me. Let him sleep asshole.” “You know he likes you right?” Byrony stated matter of factly. “Yeah right, stop joking guys, you know I like him, theres no need to get my hopes up,” Phil scoffed and sped up towards the car. Their three friends shook their heads behind him. Dan and Phil would find out eventually. Right? ~~ “P-Phil,” Dan said lightly while tightening his grip on him. Phil thought that Dan had woken up so he responded with a small “hm?” but got no response. They had just dropped off Byrony and now were heading towards Dan’s house. Since Phil didn’t get an answer he just assumed Byrony slamming the door woke up Dan for a split second. That was until Dan grinded against Phil’s thigh. Phil felt a surge of arousal shoot through his body. Dan did it again and Phil gasped. Dan opened his mouth to moan again but Phil quickly covered his mouth. He couldn’t believe this. His best friend, not to mention his crush, was having a wet dream. In his lap. In the back of their friends car. Moaning Phil’s name! Phil debated waking him up, or just waiting until they got home and ignoring the whole situation. His awkwardness decided the second option was best. Only seconds later Dan was grinding again and panting against Phil’s hand which was still covering his mouth. Phil prayed to every god he could think of that this car ride would be over soon because he was starting to get hard under his sleeping friend. He knew that he shouldve moved his hands from where they were on Dan’s hips because he didnt want to invade his friends space during a dream like this. Phil’s self conscious had a different idea though and moved his hands somewhere worse. Dan’s plump ass. He knew it wasnt right but he couldnt fight his instincts. Dans grinding slowed, but only so that he could push back into Phil’s hands. Phil squeezed hard and Dan’s eyes shot open. “Oh no,” Phil whispered almost completely silent. “Ph-” “Okay guys, we’re here.” Peej announced from the front seat, “See you guys Monday. Have a good weekend.” Dan slowly and cautiously crawled out of Phils lap, careful to hide his hard on from his friends as they said goodbye. When Chris and PJ pulled out of Dan’s drive way Dans mouth failed to make a sound even though he opened it. “I’m so sorry Dan! I dont know what i was thinking but you were grinding on me- and- an- and you moan- moaned my name! My body was just reacting I’m so so so sorry!!” Phil spat out quickly. “Hey, ba-Phil, don’t worry, its okay, I lik-” Dan paused and didnt finish his thought, “Lets just go inside. We dont have to talk about it if you dont want to okay babe- Phil.” “Oh god I’m so sorry for making things awkward I didnt mean to but you kept going and oh god im so sorry-” “Has anyone ever told you that sometimes you need to shut up Philly?” “Make me,” Phil shot back but instantly regretted it. “Oh my god I didnt mean t-” He was cut off by Dan’s lips against his. “Do you really think you touching my ass bothered me? You even said yourself that i was moaning your name idiot.” “Shh,” Phil joked and grabbed Dans hand. The kiss had boosted Phil’s self confidence, and he thought back to what his friends said about Dan having a crush on him. “How about we go up to your room baby? We can handle the little problem I have and sort our relationship out afterwards.” “O-okay,” Dans usually dominating voice was small and timid now. He led Phil into the house and tugged his hands up the stairs. He wasnt leading because Phil didnt know where to go, of course he did, but because Phil was going at the slowest pce possible so that Dan would have to wait. “Please Phil, come onnn~” he whined. Once they reached Dans room he flung the door open. “Calm down baby, you’ll get what you want if you wait.” “But I want you now-” Dan was going to continue complaining like a child but he was cut off by a kiss. Phil pulled away and smirked,“Thats pay back for cutting me off earlier dick.” “Philly! No cussing!”, he playfully hit him on the chest. He was glad that his crush changed nothing. Hell, him grinding on his friend while having a wet dream changed nothing. They were still best friends and this moment made that clear to Dan. Phil smiled goofily at him and leaned in again, only to end up kissing Dan’s cheek though because Dan moved at last minute. Dan giggled and did it again when Phil attempted another kiss. “Oh whatever babe, now come on, I wanna kiss you more.” “Hmm- Nope.” Dan slid out of Phil’s grip and giggled as he ran across the room and leapt onto his bed. Phil chased after him, laughing also. He sat down next to Dan and just gazed at his friends eyes. “You’re so gorgeous Dan,” he said as he reached out and cupped his face, “Can I kiss you again?” “I dunno can you?” Dan teased. Phil rolled his eyes and leaned in slowly. Their lips collided and Dan swore he could feel his heart beating out of his chest. It all seemed so real, Phil’s hand in his hair, Phil’s lips on his own. Quickly he became paranoid. Even though they had this moment of goofing around would their friendship change after tonight? Would they end badly? Apparently Phil could hear him thinking because he pulled back. “Dan, baby calm down. We can stop if you want, we dont have to do anything. We can even pretend this never happened if thats what you want. I would never do anything to hurt you love.” “I’m just scared- I want you though, now come here again,” They kissed at Dans pace and soon Dan leaned back and rested his head against the pillows. “Will you touch me? Please? I dont care what you do. Just please-” “Of course princess. Can I straddle you?” Dan nodded and Phil climbed into his lap. He lowered his hands down to Dan’s sides and looked up for consent before putting his hands under Dan’s shirt. It was all so intimate, Dan couldnt help but moan at the light little touches running up and down his chest. “Please- just give me more please baby I’ll do anything.” “We’re gonna go slow okay? Just wait and you’ll get what you want.” Phil took Dans shirt off after asking if it was okay and slowly started to kiss over his chest. “You’re so pretty, have such a nice chest and a lovely stomach.” He pinched Dan’s side in a joking manor and smiled up at the giggling boy. Dan blushed and looked away,“Oh come on youre just saying that,” “I know you just found out I fancy you, but ever since we met I have thought that. Youre truly breathtaking Dan, and if youll let me I’d really really like to touch you right now.” He kissed down Dans stomach, closer and closer to his pant line. “Plea-” His plead was cut off by a loud moan as Phil kissed his dick through his skinny jeans. “More. More More More Please!” Phil unzipped Dans skinny jeans and started to pull them off. They got stuck at mid thigh and Dan burst out laughing. “Stop laughing you dick!” That only made him laugh more. Phil silenced him though by mouthing over Dan’s briefs. Dan gasped as soon as he felt the warm sensation through his underwear and Phil could feel his friends cock twitch. “How far do you wanna go love?” “Can- I- um-” Phil was sliding Dans skinny jeans off fully as Dan was attempting to speak. “Mhmm?” “Can you fuck me?” Dan said in one breath. Phil smiled up at him while he took his own shirt off. “How about you ride me? That way you can control the pace baby. Does that sound nice?” Dan glanced at Phil’s exposed chest and was only half listening when he nodded. “Have you ever prepped before? If you know what im trying to say…” Phil stared down at his feet and blushed as he was saying this. Dans confidence had shot through the roof with all of the compliments Phil was giving him so he decided to go with his cocky response. “Of course I have, I did this morning in the shower. Thinking about your nice thick cock. I want it everywhere. In my hand, in my mouth, in my ass.” Phil groaned and hurried to take off his own skinny jeans while Dan kept going. “I even did after school too, before the movie. I was thinking about you touching me the whole time. Thinking about your fingers trailing all up and down my chest. Thinking about your lips nipping at my neck-” he was cut off by Phil doing just that. He left a love bite right above his shoulder and then carried on with more all over Dan’s neck. He left one right below his jaw, one on his collarbone. Anywhere he could reach. “So I dont have to stretch you then?” Phil laughed in a teasing way and asked Dan where he kept the lube. “Be-bed side table-” Dan blushed as Phil pulled Dan’s boxers down. “Hm? Why are you so nervous? What else am i going to find?” He said casually as he slipped off his own boxers and reached for the drawer. When Phil opened the bed side table he expected pornos, or the pair of joke hand cuffs PJ got Dan last christmas. But not all of these. No. He would never guess that dan would have these. Lets just have a run down of what exactly Phil was looking at. A drawer full of bright pink and purple dildos. And vibrators. And lacy panties. Black ones to be specific. And two bottles of empty lube and one fairly empty bottle of lube. His jaw dropped as his picked up a huge vibrator. Phil would say that hes a pretty big guy down there but this fucking vibrator was at least ten inches. Dan hid behind his hands as Phil examined all of the different vibes and such. “Hm.. maybe we’ll have fun with those later, but for right now I think I’ll just have you ride me.” He smirked again cheekily and Dan just rolled his eyes and grabbed the last bottle of lube and a condom. “Shut up and turn over so I can ride you, you dick,” he said as he rolled the condom onto Phils dick. “Oh look at Mr.dominant coming out. Who wouldve guess you’re dominant with all of those toys in there?” Phil snickered at his own joke but Dan just hit his chest and shut him up with a kiss. Since Dan was acting so needy Phil decided it was best to just get on with it. So he had Dan straddle him and positioned his cock right at Dan’s entrance. As Dan slowly sunk down onto the tip of Phil’s dick they both groaned. Phil had to try with all his might to keep his needy teenage body from bucking up into Dan. “Oh god- can I go further?” Dan asked. “Of course you can doofus.” Dan tweaked his nipple for that comment; which was simultaneously causing pain and pleasure for Phil. He began to go further, taking in an inch at a time and pausing to groan and take a breath. It was pure agony for Phil to just sit there completely still so he tried to distract himself with praises for Dan. “Good job baby boy, you take me so well, look so good like that.” While Phil let these praises out Dan had nothing to do but gasp and moan. When he finally got all of Phil’s cock inside him Phil stopped with the praises and instead bit all over Dan’s neck again. The love bites from earlier were already starting to fade since they were nothing more than a little nip, but Phil was determined to leave a mark this time. He sucked and pulled at the skin with his teeth, pulling away only a couple times to kiss over the freshly bruised skin. When he was done leaving a bright red mark Dan was panting and pleading him to let him move. Of course Phil immediately told him to go whenever he was ready so Dan began bouncing up and down. Even though Phil knew Dan was a virgin he guessed by all of the sex toys that Dan was used to having something up his ass. “Please Phil, its not enough, I need you to fuck up into me~” Phil listened and started to thrust up at the same time that Dan was coming down. He knew he found Dans prostate because Dan gasped and went even faster at the same angle. “God baby you look so good, fucking yourself so good. Can’t wait to see your pretty face when you cum.” These little comments only seemed to spur Dan on more, but soon it was too much and he was completely wrecked. He lifted himself up off of Phils cock and laid next to him. “Phiw- is too much- need you to fuck me, m’ legs are too tired…” “Of course they are you lazy oaf,” after his remark Phil got right to it. He slid his cock right back into Dan and started to thrust back and forth. He could see Dan getting needier by the second, begging for more and blushing and gasping. Phil was entirely blissed out by all of the sounds Dan was making and by how good it felt. “Do you think you can cum untouched baby?” Dan nodded fiercely and moaned at the though of it. He reached behind Phil and pulled him down closer by his neck. “Fuck- Phil I’m getting close-” “You look so good baby, I bet you’ll look stunning when you cum. Begging for more, youll look so perfect.” Dan moaned at his words and started to grind back against Phil movements. Phil found Dans prostate again and pounded into it relentlessly, still letting little praises come out. “Such a good boy. Take me so well. You feel so good.” Dan writhed on the sheets beneath Phil and clenched his sheets tight with both fists. “I need you Phil- need to kiss you.” Phil obliged and leaned down to kiss the needy boy beneath him while keeping the same speed. “Are you going to come baby boy?” Dan groaned and released as a response. He felt as if he was floating for a second. His vision got blurry as he released white streaks all over him and his best friend. When Phil saw the completely blissed out face of Dan he locked eyes with him and released inside the condom. As Phil pulled out Dan found himself feeling empty. Even though some of his toys were huge, none of them felt that good. Phil reached over to Dan’s bedside table and grabbed some tissues that were obviously there for this reason. “So..” “No- no talking now please. Jus’ some cuddles please?” Dan looked up with a pleading, almost innocent look and Phil just couldnt resist. He threw out the tissues and the condom and laid next to Dan. Dan instantly wrapped his legs around Phil’s waist and arms around his neck and kissed him swiftly on the cheek. “Night cutie, we’ll talk in the morning over some pancakes and tea okay?” “Sounds great love, goodnight.”