#cw: abuse references

[quarterlifekitty]

IDEA IN MY MIND‼️‼️

Okay, so based off the kidnapping group chat, I think to think that every once in awhile, they'll meet up and let their kidnapped partners interact with each other while they drink beer and watch football together.

It's like, a really fucked up hangout session.

Here’s how you can tell who’s who at a meetup like this!

cw: kidnapping, dark, references to physical violence, etc

Gaz’s girl is wearing leggings, a sweatshirt, and one of his baseball caps. She’s giving everyone dirty looks and picking at the skin on her fingers.

Price’s girl is in a knee-length dress, a delicate gold chain necklace, and dangling gemstone earrings that match the dress. She keeps looking over at Price— like she’s trying to make sure he can see her behaving. She has some heavy eye bags.

Ghost’s girl is wearing one of his t shirts and some loose shorts. She’s got bruises in the shape of his fingers on her wrists and the column of her throat. She’s handcuffed to him with a few feet of chain for slack between them.

Nikolai’s girl is wearing long sleeves that come to a cinched ruffle at the wrist, with a shapeless corduroy dress overtop (a bit of a smock) that goes to her knees, with stockings underneath. She’s perfectly behaved, and has a little silver cap on the remainder of her left pinky finger.

How can you spot Soap’s girl, you may ask.

Well, Soap’s girl is the one wearing a metallic collar with a red light on it. I’ll let you guess why that is.

[cripplecharacters]

hello!! I am making a rewrite of a. Very very bad comic. Now, my MC is a disabled trans woman (knee chronic pain sustained from a pretty mundane highschool track injury, im not one to do tragic disability storylines, seeing as I’m physically disabled and that trope sucks). This ask isn’t about her, though. I’m planning to add a sort of cameo of a main character from the original comic, Shanzay (the comic spelled it Shanzey but no ethnic group actually spells it that way, so… white ass comic writer). Her original disability is caused from. Ableist trope after ableist trope. It’s not gonna come up how she was disabled, since it’s a cameo of my MC helping her and her girlfriend with furniture around their house, basically a plot device for her to tell her about the club the MC and her friends are gonna visit, which causes the main inciting incident of the story. I would, however, like to change how her disability happened, even if it comes up, because it’s REALLY handing itself over to the ablebodied gaze (essentially, perfectly vertical eye scar and cataract caused by abusive father doing unspecified thing to her eye that only her mom is traumatized by, not her apparently). If y’all can come up with either really stupid mundane accidents to cause it or a way to draw the scar so that it’s not stupid and unrealistic lmk 😅 to clarify my physical disability is POTS, and very likely but undiagnosed reproductive disabilities, so I don’t have the experience that people with half blindness or other eye related disabilities might here

Hello!

So the perfectly vertical scar is unrealistic for a couple of reasons. Main one is that very few scars are perfectly pointed in any direction, especially not traumatic ones (surgical ones might be but I'm not familiar with any procedure that leaves a vertical scar through someone's eye). Second, for the eye specifically, it just doesn't make sense anatomically (?) since eyes tend to be set deeper in the skull so that this exact thing doesn't happen - they're sitting in two big holes surrounded by bone. The third is that if someone did actually get slashed in a face with enough force to make the second point irrelevant they'd likely either die or have something much more significant happen to them (behind eye is where the brain is stored, so...). Or at least lose the eye, since the globe just got cut in half.

With this in mind, you have a few options.

A: Leave both the monocular blindness, scar, and backstory in and just make it make more sense. For example, maybe she was hit (can fit the original cause) and had an orbital fracture (can leave a scar or just general asymmetry in the area), it got infected and she started having eye problems (endogenous endophthalmitis). I'm honestly not sure how probable cataracts would be here since it's really mostly a progressive condition, but if she was to receive some sort of trauma to the lens then a cataract could form there. Just keep in mind that other things would probably happen as well, it'd be impressive to hit only one specific eye structure (whilst doing it hard enough to cause a permanent problem).

B: Leave the cataract and scar. Hell, they can be unrelated. Maybe she developed the cataract as she grew older and also had a scar from, IDK, (there really isn't anything that results in that kind of scar so cut me some slack) a laceration from some machinery that she had when she was younger and had to get it stitched up, which left a more-or-less vertical scar. Keep in mind that if she has an eyelid scar, that will affect its functioning - for example, if it sticks out, she might not be able to fully open the eyelid.

C: Leave the cataract and give her a more common kind of scar instead. This is easy since literally any scar will be more common. Some ideas; hit the forehead on the roof of a car while getting in, had a tumor that had to be removed, born with a facial cleft, got a really bad skin infection, had meningitis, boiling water fell from a stove top, needed brain surgery, born with (anterior) encephalocele, minor injury that she kept picking on and it healed poorly, family dog bit her, broken nose from getting accidentally elbowed in the face by someone, car crash where she hit the dashboard with her head, part of skin had to be removed due to skin cancer... The choice is yours. Literally anything would be more realistic and interesting (since the vertical eye scar is just treated as a visual quirk the same way a mole is rather than a Thing caused by Something most of the time and a Thing caused exclusively by swordfighting the rest of the time).

As to drawing it, you probably could make the scar either less extensive with the same severity (e.g., only shows on the brow bone and cheek) or make it more severe with the same extensiveness (it does show up on the eyelids and general eye area, but there is visible asymmetry, skin/bone indentation, ptosis, etc.).

The thing below is something I drew really quickly right now for reference, IDK how helpful it is but just be aware that the way eyes are placed in the face is designed to specifically avoid things getting into them. So if you're bypassing that, the actual structure of the face has probably been changed.

Hope this helps!

mod Sasza

[katblaze]

Ella focused post-canon long post ahead:

I like the idea of Tadius having to reign Ella in when she has a mean streak towards particular peasants who had perpetuated her abuse in the past. The peasants who verbally and physically taunted/abused her. The people who disregarded her pleas and distress, writing it off as madness, violently sending her back to her abusers just to get her out of their sight. Because her circumstance and uncleanliness was uncomfortable to be around. Maybe she can't stand to be cordial or impartial to the very same people who she watched drag her mother into the square. Or maybe, at her lowest, she says some unpleasant things about all peasantry, flippantly stereotypes them in a moment of temper. Let's her trauma blossom into rage, into a simmering desire (not necessarily action, mind you) for petty cruelty.

We see her deconstruct a lot of her (admittedly not crazy large) bias against peasant and servantry in the show; this being easier for her to accomplish because she was forced into servitude and squalor herself. For example, one of the first things she jabs at Tadius with is his rank as a servant. She establishes her status and her power over his well-being, potentially his life (and this is important for us to see for her character! this is the first time we see her so confident in her dialog in the show. she is finally reclaiming the autonomy, power, and safety she lacked for potential years, even if this isn't "perfect victim" or kind behavior). This threat could easily have been genuinely fear inducing for Tadius if he hadn't perceived her comment as banter/wit (or he, at the very least, thought she couldn't do anything to him as the prince's right hand servant because she's not from a reputable house). But later, we see her call Tadius "a good man" instead of "a good servant", signifying her growth. She acknowledges where she went wrong in the past and asserts Tadius's position as an equal. Textbook character development.

She also originally vows to the fairy godmother to take vengeance only on those who deserve it, who have taken everything from her and seek to destroy more. She makes clear that her blood lust is for specifically her step family (edit: if Justine and Lucy represent Ella's core values and dreams then Justine establishing kindness to those socially lower to them as an admirable trait makes a whole lotta sense for Ellas character going foward). Hell, she is said to be a good queen by the whole kingdom, implying the peasants favor her rule after she's gained it. She is known by all for her kindness and love which is carried out just as fiercely as her justice.

Does this mean she doesn't have low points? Does this mean that at her lowest Tadius doesn't need to council her and advice her against her (valid, but potentially unfair) anger? That she doesn't let her new found power make it so that, at times, she speaks down to those she deems morally lesser (and could that perception of who is lesser, by this measurement, be influenced by class bias/her past peasant inflicted abuse)? Ella's main character motivation is vengeance in the show, even if her morals are steadfast throughout, I think it would be an interesting conflict between Ella's own ethic values vs. her (again, valid) trauma-induced feelings/vitriol, and how that conflict influences her decisions not only as queen, but interpersonally.

This could also lead to some great tension between Ella and Tadius (who are at this point good friends, partners, or at the VERY least close coworkers). With some communication Tadius would be given better insight into Ella's past, interworkings, and decision making. It would also grant Ella an outlet to talk about all this awful shit that happened to her and how it comes back to affect and shape her presently.

Not to mention Tadius's own trauma regarding aristocrats who belittle their subjects. Maybe at her most cruel (aka in a very bad emotional state) Tadius becomes clinical and emotionally disconnected, just as he was with the prince? Unconsciously or not, sinks back into giving stony irritated advice and doesn't talk to Ella in their normal affable manner for the rest of the day, or longer. Maybe it takes them a while to get to the point of healthy communication because of both of their past isolation (ella is purposely isolated by her supposed "madness" and has no one to talk to, she is overjoyed to vent to a literal frog + no one recognized tadius's wit before ella, implying he is not close enough with anyone for them to know who he is personally) makes it difficult for them to talk in a productive manner at first.

(I do not mean to say this is the only interpretation of Ella's character or the headcanons you should adopt post-cc. Maybe Ella never let's these internal biases (that I've picked up on) influence how she treats her subjects/how she rules. Or, shes developed and grown entirely past them. Maybe Ella and Tadius never have this kind of conflict between them. This is also tackling a very specific negative trait I enjoy exploring, which I personally could see presenting itself in Ella post-canon. I love her. I don't doubt she is a great queen who rules with the working class's benefit, along with the rich's detriment, in mind (in fact, I definitely like to believe she does). I just really like characters having character flaws, even if they are a good person, even if they are the hero, and even past their happily ever after)

[gbirrd]

6/9 - Jason Todd tarot card designs for Complete Candor by @vexfulfolly as part of the @batfam-big-bang

Read the fic here!

Other cards:

1-Babs 2-Cass 3-Bruce 4-Tim 5-Damian 6-Jason 7-Duke 8-Steph 9-Dick

Image IDs

Image 1:

A design of "The Devil" tarot card. It has the texture of recycled paper and reads "THE DEVIL". A symbol of a gravestone is visible behind the numeral "XV".

A young Jason Todd in his Robin uniform tugs at a thick chain around his neck that comes down from the top of the frame. Matching shackles are around his wrists and he is buried up to his waist in dirt. His head is tilted up towards the chain. There is blood on his hands, arms, chest, and dripping down the right side of his face as well as from his nose.

Image 2:

A design of "The Devil" tarot card. It has the texture of recycled paper and reads "THE DEVIL" upside-down. A symbol of a flame is visible behind the numeral "XV".

Jason Todd faces forward, filling most of the frame. He is in his Red Hood uniform and has narrowed pupil-less white eyes. He is holding the end of a thick chain in his right fist. Flames fill the background and bathe him in an orange light. The entire card is upside-down.

[cygnetofthesea]

Santos + Langdon

I’m still seeing a lot of anti-Santos comments in the midst of seeing a lot of comments in support of Langdon…people who will defend him for abusing his position to steal drugs from a hospital, to steal drugs from his patients. And then I’ll see people disparaging Santos, ranting about how “as a healthcare worker” her threatening the patient/mol3ster made them rage. Well, what about “as a healthcare worker” getting pissed at Langdon? Because I’m pretty sure that shit doesn’t fly either. Pretty sure that stealing drugs from vulnerable patients who need them is not acceptable either. Pretty sure that could lead to all kinds of issues and I’m not even talking about the legal ramifications for the hospital either. I’m talking about the fact that patients aren’t receiving the appropriate dose of drugs they need, which could lead to a host of health issues for them. 

People are even more mad at Santos for abusing her position to threaten a patient/abuser than they are at the abuser himself despite the fact that he abused his position as the girl’s father to mol3st his daughter. They’re more mad at her trying to save an innocent girl from abuse than they are at Langdon for stealing drugs for his own personal gain.

Now, to be clear, do I agree with how Trinity went about dealing with the abuser and his daughter? No, definitely not. I do think she should have utilized a hell of a lot more tact. Do I think Frank is an inherently bad or malicious person for stealing the drugs? No, definitely not. The dude was scared and acted out of fear more than anything. He was in pain and thought it would cost him his career, his life’s work. 

In both cases, both individuals abused their positions as doctors, to make choices that threatened the lives of patients.

So the question remains, why does Langdon get a lot of grace for his actions but Santos doesn’t? And especially from people who work in healthcare? What are the criteria involved in caring more about a doctor stealing drugs from patients to self-medicate versus caring about a doctor verbally threatening a patient for abusing his daughter?

Does it truly come down to misogyny, internal or otherwise?

(On the flipside, major, major kudos to those who recognized that Santos and Langdon are two sides of the same coin. For giving both of them equal amounts of shit and love, as they deserve. I appreciate yalls.)

[shewokeonmywillytil]

separated, yet connected - the woke willy family trees

a gift for 50+ followers. up until now, we've been sprinkling hints about the lore every now and again (which we will continue to do!). to celebrate this milestone, y'all get a treat! thank you!

[intothedysphoria]

There was a boy who lived on the other side of town.

Hawkins was a small town but it had a pretty explicit wealth divide. There were a solid wall of three streets where people had three, even four story houses and their own pools. Walk beyond that line and it looked pretty grim. Well, his parents said it did. Steve privately thought the people who lived in those houses looked much happier.

Except for one house. The Hargrove’s.

The dad was ex Marines and was a fucking piece of work. He’d go on ranting about anyone and everyone in the mall, clutching his wife’s hand in a vice. She was quiet and didn’t really seem to do much apart from occasionally pushing her daughter into getting more dresses. The kids were far more interesting.

A red headed thirteen year old girl who trudged around with a skateboard and him. He looked like a movie star but he was constantly limping, like he was injured. Supposedly, he’d taken Steve’s arbitrarily assigned crown but he didn’t even talk to anyone. He just scowled and sometimes Steve saw him crying.

It was all really sad and Steve was going to do something about it. He wasn’t sure what but he was at least going to try.

Steve tried to talk to him once after class. Hargrove looked him up and down then promptly spat on his shoes. The nice ones he’d just got for Christmas.

He talked funny too. It wasn’t just because he was from California, Steve had watched enough tv to pinpoint that accent. He talked rough and gutteral, with a harshness to his voice that suggested he’d been smoking from the age of 10.

Hop arrested him for minor drug charges on Christmas Day. The news spread fast in a town like Hawkins. Not because he’d been smoking weed but because they’d had to carry him out on a stretcher.

The hospital bed was his cell. Steve sent flowers because it felt like the right thing to do given the circumstances. Poppies.

They were still on Hargrove’s bedside table when he left. Medical fees had been paid off by the town. Mr Harrington had even snuck a 100 dollar bill into the pot.

One day Billy approached him. There was a vulnerability to him, shoulders hunched as he asked if there was anywhere he could stay for the night. Neil Hargrove had kicked him out.

Billy was enamoured by Steve’s record player and ran to his own collection to shove them under the needle. Apparently Joy Division was what he played to everyone before he introduced them to the heavy stuff. Steve would have almost preferred Metallica or WASP to Love Will Tear Us Apart. There was something so incredibly bleak about the lyrics and Steve wondered if that was how Billy saw the world.

Steve had leftover pierogies and latkes in the fridge but Billy politely said he preferred to make his own food. He then made a soup with scotch bonnet peppers in which looked delicious but Steve knew he wouldn’t be able to handle.

Billy took the bed. Steve took the couch. There was a pile of porn mags buried under the pile of stuff and Steve knew he should’ve just left it. He was just curious and toed a page open.

There was a photo which looked like it had been taken behind an alleyway, of a large, bearded man in denim with another man in a suit on his knees. That magazine was shoved back down to the bottom of the pile.

Billy was queer. Steve had seen videos from New York, Los Angeles, London recently, of gaunt men on hospital beds, clinging to the hands of kind faced women. The news had said that was what happened if you were queer. Agony. Death. But Billy seemed fit and healthy.

Billy wasn’t going to die of that disease. Of AIDS. Steve wouldn’t let him.

The next morning, Billy used the shower for too long, ate nothing but a single slice of toast and left by 6AM. Steve watched him go and wondered if he would come back.

Come back he did, promptly that same evening. Billy made a grilled cheese, which of course had ghost chilli in it, and watched MTV. They had a long conversation about nuclear disarmament which Steve only half followed, then they both went to bed.

Things went on like that for several weeks. Billy would put on a wide variety of records and sometimes they would dance. Sometimes Steve would just watch Billy shake his head so hard, it may as well have fallen off.

They started sharing one meal for a change. Stir fry, steak with mashed potatoes, something Billy proudly proclaimed as toad in the hole, which was just battered sausage. All things his grandfather had taught him to cook.

The sleeping situation also got more complicated.

Due to the length of time that Billy was staying over now, there didn’t feel like there was any point in Steve staying indefinitely on the couch.

So they shared a bed. Steve listened to Billy taking long, deep breaths each night and wondered if he was a queer too.

That question was answered on New Years Eve.

Steve had drunk quite a lot. Billy had probably drunk more. Soft Cell was playing on the radio and Steve was humming along to the tune, making popping sounds with his mouth to the synths.

The song changed to a new track from Frankie Goes To Hollywood and Billy grabbed his arms, spinning them both across the room. It was fun, then Steve felt like he was going to be sick so they had to stop.

Billy was lying down on the floor next to him, giggling with flushed cheeks, then declared he hadn’t had a midnight kiss yet.

He was obviously joking but something in Steve’s chest took it deadly serious because he was climbing into Billy’s chest. They were breathing in the same air.

Billy blinked twice, eyelashes glowing and Steve decided to stop caring.

The kiss didn’t set him alight. It didn’t kill him. It didn’t even eject him from the house. All it did was send a warm tingly feeling down his back and towards his groin. The feeling was indescribable.

Billy asked if they could do that again.

Steve said yes.

For @shieldofiron @robthegoodfellow @dragonflylady77 @oopsiedaisiesbaby @harringroveobsessed @bigdumbbambieyes @thatgirlwithasquid for being so cool I hope you like it (I am genuinely so ill right now I probably won’t remember that I wrote this in like two hours)

[nekropsii]

what do you see in equius ?? genuine question i don't mean to sound rude but to me she's just really offputting. she gives me such creep vibes that i can't seem to get over and every time i read a page with her it just gets worse..... like when i first read nep & eq's chats i was sitting there wondering if this was outright abuse or at least bullying of some kind??? it felt like it idk.......

but honestly i do wanna see an equius liker's opinion on him because i can't understand it like at all and i'm probably just missing something that all the equius likers saw and i didnt LMAO

Well, considering I’m an Alpha Trolls Enthusiast and have been for, like, a decade, as well as having Horror as a Special Interest since age… What, 3? I’d say I personally have a pretty strong stomach for Weird and Offputting in fiction, lol. Stronger than most. Equius isn’t a very palatable character at all, I’ll be the first to admit that - a lot of the characters I enjoy the most in Homestuck aren’t very palatable… But I find ‘em real interesting, personally. The fact that they aren’t palatable adds to the intrigue for me, and poor execution tends to be a total weakness of mine. Again, Alpha Trolls Enthusiast for a decade straight.

I have a post here that talks a bit about my reading of Equius, I’d recommend giving it a read. I see Eridan and Equius as being very similar characters - not necessarily due to their shared hemoloyalty, but because they’re both teens falling down online pipelines. They’re very prevalent Kinds Of Guy that no one wants to talk about.

But people talk about Eridan plenty even to this day - he was even a fandom favorite for a while, being the fandom’s first Prettyboy Sad Gay Anime Prince long before Dirk… So he doesn’t reel in as much interest for me as the chronically overlooked Equius.

If there’s anything to know about me, it’s that I love a good underdog.

Equius-Likers, from my experience, are very aware of his issues. It’s part of the draw. Enjoyment of him tends to be an analytical fixation. I haven’t met a single Equius-Liker that hasn’t had some very complex thoughts on him. They’re just kinda quiet about it. Fitting.

Unfortunately, I’m Aranea But Real, so. No quietness here.

Your response to Equius is valid. It’s also intended, I feel. To specifically address the bits about concerns of his relationship with Nepeta not being healthy… I mean, it’s not abusive, but it’s definitely more complicated than fan art would lead you to believe, as always. “Complicated” is to be expected from a Moirallegiance - remember what they exist for?

Nepeta is very much so in control of the things going on, and their relationship is pretty equal, all things considered, so I wouldn’t be worrying too much about that. She very distinctly does not lack agency here - Nepeta is the one who has a leash on Equius, not the other way around. Equius is mean, because that’s the way she is to… Everyone, more or less, but she’s not of any danger to Nepeta. They have a fine Moirallegiance. 1,000% more functional than whatever the fuck Karkat and Gamzee had going on.

Anyway. I think Equius is neat, and has both missed and oft overlooked potential. One of the very few characters I’d be 100% down to have seen more content of in the comic.

Once again, check out this post. I still think it’s decent. Maybe you will, too.

[oh-sturg-art]

FROSTPAW 2024 REF !!

Haven’t touched this one in a while

MEET FROSTPAW !!

Since birth, Frostpaw’s known she was different. Despite her blindness, she knew by the words of her parents that she looked different, though she didn’t know in what way. She was avoided throughout her kithood, and still is presently because of her odd appearance. Her mother believes her kit is cursed. Her giant ears don’t help. Somehow, someway, she was apprenticed to a warrior. It makes little sense considering her condition, though she hopes one day she can serve as a helper or a storyteller among the Clan. She hopes someday she’ll be respected.

She hates confrontation but still tries to make friends. It’s difficult, as she’s frequently brushed off by others her age. Though some take pity on her, she wants a genuine companion that doesn’t judge her in a good or bad way.

Reblogs will contain future refs and names!

[graboidmilk]

Teach the Police Dog

Pre-Relationship ChalcanCoyle under the cut

Synopsis: Chalcanthite and Coyle are the same in the worst way.

Please remain mindful of the tags

Maybe, if he bothered to, he could've guessed it. Hell, they were so similar, he probably would've guessed it, if given a bit more time... all of the signs were there- all of the pieces, rather. The pieces to the puzzle that was Leland Coyle. Staring at the film reel he himself had just installed, wide eyed and mind ticking like a clock, he's forced to come to a realization that he should've come to a long time ago.

Men like Coyle don't come from nowhere.

"You have to project danger." Of course you do. Chalcanthite wasn't fucking stupid- it was basic shit. If you're strong, the weak can't hurt you. If you're stronger than strong, then the strong can't hurt you. If you are the danger, then nothing can hurt you. Maybe that one should've tipped him off, first.

Brown eyes search the screen, the reagent's gaze erratic, like he doesn't believe what he's seeing as he watches Coyle's twitching form.

"The Law is the medicine for shame." Chalcanthite wonders what that says about the man he was staring at. His mind reels as his brain wracks with possibilities of what kinds of shame would lead to a man drowning himself in his own perceived medicine. He wonders what parts of himself that Coyle's 'medicine' has killed. He hears the door slam open, and he jerks his head to stare at the man that had just barged into the room.

"You only gotta let your guard down once." Chalcanthite's heart races as he watches Coyle take in the scene before him- as he watches the man realize just what it was that the hybrid was watching. Black ears flatted against his head as the officer screams something he can't understand in his own half-dissociative state, and he jumps the barrier between the projector and the seating area. His movements are jerky and clumsy, much more so than usual, as he tries to get away from the other man. The reagent feels bile in his throat as he tries to will away the tremors in his hands. He could never let his guard down- he could never get caught unaware.

They both knew that.

They both knew that.

"They'll hold you down and they'll fuck you dead."

They both knew that.

Heart thudding in his chest, he slams his fist onto the button to call for the transportation shuttle, and when Coyle's close enough- no fucking closer than he has to be- Chalcanthite stuns him. He stuns him, and then he stares, because he doesn't know what else to do. What else can you do ?

Brown eyes feel wide and dry, and Chalcanthite is sure that if he doesn't get himself together soon, he's going to cry, and he can not fucking let that happen. Not in front of him, of all fucking people.

He hears the shuttle grow closer, and Chalcanthite presses his back against the shuttle door in anxious anticipation. Everything hurts- his head hurts, his chest hurts, his stomach hurts- Everything is making too much sense and it's making him feel sick-

Chalcanthite lets out a gasp as he stumbles back into the shuttle just as Coyle comes back to himself, shaking his head free just as the door closes between them. All the dog can bring himself to do is think. All he can do is think, and think, and think-

"... Catch me sleeping. Some day."

Fears like that don't come from nowhere.

They both knew that.

[jinglyhigh-heels]

Okay so. Now that I’m not thick in the Emotions this game was giving me, I have come to the realization that this game does SO good at portraying abuse.

So uh. Expect to see a lot (Lot) of talk about that, under the cut.

I’ll start with the most recent realization, which was how the cat was dictating your actions the entire time. It explicitly says so at the end: it was your narrator throughout this whole game. And then how you had to struggle through narrating your own actions at the very end? Solid.

Then, the second most recent realization: you may have ‘messed up’ in the very first ending, but the cat just goes on to show you that literally anything you could’ve done was the ‘wrong choice.’ It found enjoyment in watching you try again and again to see what you could’ve done differently: which is such a good way of telling the player that this isn’t on you. Often times people who are in abusive relationships are blamed for the violence inflicted upon them. If you dressed differently, went to bed instead of watching tv, made such-and-such for dinner instead of so-and/so, did whatever was the catalyst for your abuse differently, then it wouldn’t have happened. But this game is saying no! That’s not how it works! People who want to hurt you WILL hurt you, and it’s not your fault.

As an addition to that point, you cannot avoid doing something that will get you killed (well, except for the ending where you help your cat kill everyone else, but I digress). Even when you see the death coming, and choose the option that gets you away, you run out of things to do. You either have to stay in a single loop—or, well, daydream in this case—forever, or do something that makes the cat (or something else) kills you.

Then, the endings where you feed the cat your blood. It’s really interesting! These endings made me think of what it’s like being in an abusive relationship when you have a child. The choice of whether to risk an even greater abuse to—maybe even temporarily—protect someone who couldn’t protect themself, or whether to turn a blind eye and let your own abuse be temporarily paused, permanently stopped, minimized, or even just kept the same but importantly not made worse; it just reminds me of stories I’ve seen in the past. And you might think, well, you should obviously choose the first one, right? But the game does a good job of showing the dilemma someone who’s being abused might go through. See, if you choose the former option, you die. And as you say when dying: how can you protect anyone now? It’s the same with the mouse, when you choose to let it go. You saved one, for the price of one, and now the cat is free to kill as many more as it desires. And that’s not even considering the instinctive desire to protect oneself, or how the abuser might have changed how you look at the abuse. All this to say, it’s a pretty great portrayal of a dilemma that often shows up in abusive relationships that have a dependent involved (which doesn’t always mean a child, despite what I said in the beginning of this section).

Next up, the dog park. This is pretty heavily related to the first point; which, upon rereading, wasn’t expanded on enough, so let’s talk about it again. This section, the narration goes on and on a lot about how disgusting dogs are, how everything’d be so much better with the cat, and then even your visual perception of these dogs is altered to make them terrifying—part of an attempt to lure you back to the cat (not that you can. Actually do that, if you’re at this point). As part of the game, the cat’s influence is really obvious, and really direct. It’s literally, directly admitted to influencing your thoughts like this. But you don’t need magic or psychic powers, or whatever, in order to influence someone’s thoughts. And abusive people take advantage of that often! They tell you stories, or act a certain way, or inflict physical pain in order to make you view something positively or negatively. Like, if your abuser would curse out dogs all the time while drunk and slamming cabinets, or something. You might look at dogs and be reminded of the fear and paranoia you felt while the cabinets were slamming. (To give a simple example.)

Then, the endings where you almost feed the cat chocolate. These endings do a great job at exploring two different mindsets that abuse victims often have. One, that thoughts of doing something bad are nearly as reprehensible as doing the act itself. When you almost feed the cat chocolate—and by ‘almost’, I mean, you pull it out of your pocket while searching for food and then merely look towards the cat, the beginnings of consideration in your mind, before you stop—you’re wracked with guilt aaaalllll throughout the journey home, and the cats reinforce this guilt. And then this one is specific towards the ending where you ignore the cats, where you turn into a fish and realize now that you have a way to ‘repent’ for what you did. The cat is staring at you, and likely has the means to grab you, but what’s notable here is that you, on your own will, swim up to the surface. And even after you’ve sacrificed yourself, you find yourself feeling guilt that you couldn’t feed all the cats, couldn’t truly repent for what you’d “done.” Which, again, was literally just thinking about doing something, and even before you realized that it would be bad (not that that makes a difference, because thoughts aren’t bad 🔫). This is kinda similar to what happens when you let the mouse go, but that one is unique in that you: 1.) stay still. You don’t deliver yourself to your death like you do in the fish-transformation ending. 2) don’t say anything about regretting being unable to give the cat its fill. Probably because, well. You probably are able to.

And then of course, The ending. This is, most definitely, the least subtle thing ever. Even if I hadn’t happened to exit the game partway through (and then actually read the CWs upon reentering), this likely would’ve let me figure out pretty fuckin quick what was goin on.

I’m gonna split this into three parts: the beginning of the end, the end, and the post-end.

To begin my discussion of the former, I need to mention that the end is you not letting the cat (who, in case this wasn’t obvious by now, is your abuser) back into your home. This is a HUGE step for abuse victims. It’s, hard. Like, in this case it may have been due to magic, but the cat was literally rewriting your brain. Also, you’re lonely, and the cat provided at least some comfort. A helluva lotta pain, sure, but they gave you more comfort than you were receiving anywhere else. Not every situation is the same, but there’s almost always some big hurdle keeping you with the abuser. In this case, the game lets you climb that hurdle through the help of previous victims. This is good, because it avoids the pitfall of ‘to escape abuse you just need to pull yourself up by your bootstraps.’ And, ‘the pain they inflict on you will be enough motivation.’ Like no! This wasn’t something you could do on your own!

Then for the second part, I’m first gonna talk about the lead up to the end: the chase scene, as you’re trying to get home. In that, the cat begs you to stay, saying they’ll die without you, that they’re nothing without you.

And here’s where I make the disclaimer that I’ve never been abused, nor have I ever abused. Furthermore, while I have read many accounts from people who have been abused, I have read very little from the perspective of the abuser (at least, ones that were from people who had recognized and accepted that they were abusive).

However, with this dialogue, it seemed like the cat really believed what it was saying. And from what I can tell, it seems like (SOME) irl abusers actually feel the same? They punish you because they worry that if you enjoy the world outside of them, then you’ll love it so much more and leave—and what would they do without you? And I say this, because then the ending of the game is teaching the lesson that: THAT IS NOT YOUR PROBLEM.

You staying with them did not help them get better. They had every chance, every single second you were together they could have chosen to change, and instead they chose to continue hurting you. Going back will not prove to them that they need to change or they will lose you: it will only tell them that they need to take away even more of your power so you CAN’T leave. Splitting up is not only the best thing that you can do for yourself, but it is the best thing you can do for them: even if they don’t seem like it.

Which is a great segue into the post-end. Because it really proves the point! You may have been lonely, but your abuser wasn’t your only option. You did find someone, and this one won’t kill you! :D I do have mixed feelings on the new cat being a black cat with their right eye gone though. One the one hand, it could potentially be interpreted as you letting your abuser, reformed(?), into your house. On the other, sndndinwjd. (<- that was initially a placeholder but you know what? I’m leaving it.)

For example, if you view its coat as a symbolism for a trait like gender, then choosing another black cat could be like dating another woman after your last abuser was a woman. The traits don’t make the abuser, yada yada. Very good! But since we’re dealing with cats, the creator would’ve had to deal with the issue that cats (especially in a simpler art style) Can Kinda Look Similar. And I know that if I, personally, had seen that image and the cat had both eyes, I would’ve immediately been like ‘oh sHIT THE ABUSER’S BACK—’ and had a mini heart attack. /j So. They were probably trying to find a way to make it obvious that THIS cat was not the abusive one.

But not only did you find someone better to replace the abuser with, you are just overall happier without them in your life, and the game did an excellent job of portraying this: by making you go through all the locations you already did. It was such a good parallel. Visiting any location while you were under your the cat’s paw you marred by anxiety and death. But visiting those same places on your own, after ditching it? You have fun times at every one! You even meet new people—and I really love the way the game handled that, because it could have suddenly made us outgoing and extroverted. But nope! We were an introvert walking in, and we’re an introvert walking out. That’s not a bad thing.

One final note that I realized while writing this, is that the game does a VERY good job of giving you a reason for sticking with the cat. See, I can’t think of any specific examples, but I feel like when most people see their main character in an abusive relationship they get frustrated by why they won’t leave. They, the player, can see what’s happening and see the means to escape. The character themself likely has a reason for staying, but the player doesn’t feel whatever emotions are behind that, so it’s pretty easy for them to either view the reason as ‘stupid,’ or to discount the reason altogether. To properly tell an abuse story, I think a really important aspect is being able to see why they wouldn’t leave. To feel, even a little bit, of what the victim is feeling. This game does that in two very simple, yet effective, ways. First, by making the abuser Cute and Smoll. There’s no har~m giving them a chance~! It’s an adorable kitty cat~ (And even when it does do bad things, it’s like “dohhh~ you didn’t know what you were doing~, did u my wittle cutie patootie~”) By virtue of it being adorable, many people immediately have a baseline bond with the cat, which is later made deeper by all the cute scenes, and the moments of backwards kindness in which the cat directly or indirectly helps you out in some way. The second, juxtaposing the first, is done by making the cat incomprehensibly powerful. You see for yourself the power it can, and is willing to, wield against you. Sure, most (and, hopefully, all) abusers don’t have this kind of eldritch power, but to many abuse victims, it sure may seem like it. Maybe it’s financial, or social, or maybe they’re just scarily good with guns: regardless, it tends to be a hurdle that feels impossible to overcome, though it may seem different to an outsider looking in. By making the abuser literally impossible to defeat until you’re given help by outside means (aka, the game, via the former victims), it places you right into the eyes of a victim gazing upon their abuser. This incomprehensible power pairs really well with the cuteness factor, by making the cat seem almost innocent in everything they do. Sure, they ripped me to shreds when my laser pointer was reflected to the back of my head; but they’re just a wittle kitty, how can I blame them for following their instincts~. Not every abuser has this veneer of innocence, but when it’s there it can make recognizing (as was my experience here lol) and reporting abuse to be extra difficult.

[antiradqueer-karkat]

pro get thrown in the slammer

[shayandwildlifepack]

It's been a while since a poem was posted. Just made this poem, so it's likely bad, lol.

- Shay (They/it) 🐾

Tw/cw: animal abuse (not mentioned by name), biting, scratching, growling, and hissing. [Not sure if all of these need warnings, but they are there, so yeah].

Caged and Chained Animal

We are caged like

Dangerous wild animals.

We are chained up like

Aggressive tamed animals.

Not wild and not tamed.

We bite at the cage

And the chains

Hoping it would help

Us get free from them.

Not wild and not tamed.

We growl as people get close

To our cage and our chains.

We hiss as they get closer

To our cage and our chains.

Not wild and not tamed.

We are caged and chained up

To protect others from us.

However, it doesn't protect

Us from ourselves.

Not wild and not tamed.

We aren't safe from ourselves.

We bite and scratch ourselves.

To feel something other than

The fear and anger that comes from being

Not wild and not tamed.

[waterloggedsoliloquy]

explaining to @shipofthesis the plot of XY is a lot like talking about utena, actually

[cartoonscientist]

Radically Accepting Self Hatred and Misanthropy: How you can channel a lifetime of misogynistic generational trauma into neofeudal capital: a teleseminar hosted by Alexa D. Merkel; Associate CEO of JCORP