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m3r1m4r5u333 · 22 days

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I feel like many people misunderstand us, the unhinged, insufferable people with OTPs so. Here's a quick guide into the mind of an rabid buddie shipper.

I'm not clinging to buddie because I fail to see how awesome Buck's bi growth is. I AM BI!!! You think I don't get how awesome this bi character, this story arc, this bi representation is? Get out. Don't tell me, a bisexual how I should watch and experience a bisexual character. I drive my own brain, thanks.

And I know that it's possible to multi-ship. You don't need to tell me that!!

People need to understand that multi-shipping isn't some grand, epic personality trait that always comes with maturity, that the people who don't multiship are just wee dumb babies.

I may sound like I'm 14. I am not. I am very much not. I'm OLD. So old. And guess what that means? I know myself!!! That's maturity, too. And who I am... Is someone who falls hard, and obsessively.

I know I am just not built to be a multi-shipper. I have tried, sometimes. I have tried so hard. And realised, that's just not me. Multi-shipping is never as fun, and interesting or rewarding to me as focusing on my One True Pair. It just makes me feel suffocated, to attempt to like something I don't really find much joy in.

That doesn't mean that I hate the actors or characters who are "getting in the way" of my ship. Nope. I actually often adore the characters and actors, and the writing. I can also see and appreciate what some other character means for my OTP's growth.

Like in this case... Lou, playing Tommy? Not only do I love his acting choices (so funny, so skilled) but he also, he sounds like a lovely guy. I'm a fan!! Also, damn he's fine, I need a bucket for my drool.

And Tommy, the character...? I think the character is interesting - and don't get me started on "problematic", the shaming is futile. I am all in for fucked up, problematic characters. If you don't get why, you should really read some literary classics. Fucked up, problematic characters are art, they make you think, they broaden world-views. My best educators have been the monsters, and I will take this stand to my grave.

Demand for "unproblematic" is demand for censure, and censure is just another form of oppression. Want characters without flaws? Go watch Teletubbies. Ffs, even moomins have flaws. (Of course they do, Tove Jansson was a freaking amazing writer.)

Anyway. The point here is.

I am a mono-shipper. And I love slowburns, I love the romance of them, I get attached to ships. And I'm queer.

But where are the queer slowburns? I have been waiting for a slow-burn queer romance for so long. I CRAVE IT. Getting that, truly, would be queer history, a revolution.

And I see the potential for it in buddie!! The spark, the history, the journey. It has the potential to be the greatest queer slow-burn I've ever experienced.

You think I'd just abandon a ship like that, a slowburn like that, for some fast food, cooked up in what... Two episodes? Pffft. I invest. I am waiting for my roast to cook.

So yeah. I'm not going anywhere. I will watch, and let my freak flag fly, and I will have the time of my life. If buddie never becomes canon? Well so what. I can deal. It's not my first rodeo. Disappointment isn't actually deathly, you know. Trying to avoid disappointment kills hope, and enthusiasm. So yeah, I refuse to manage my expectations. I'm all in, and enjoying this mad ride.

"Well, I'd still take you."

"You think so?"

"I KNOW."

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comradekatara · 15 days

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Can you go a bit more in depth about your post about Sokka in the Burning Rock episode? You said that it was basically his suicide mission, which I agree with. I'd really like to hear more of your thoughts on it.

okay yeah i mean i'm sure i've covered all these points before extensively because i love weaving a tapestry of sokka's fucked up psychological landscape more than anything in the world, but every so often someone will comment on one of my posts and be like "i think you're reaching i think sokka is the paragon of mental health actually" and i'm just like um. did we not all watch the boiling rock. did we just ignore the apotheosis of sokka's entire character arc. like katara's apotheosis in "the southern raiders" is both very overt and impactful and also, arguably, subtler than sokka's, because they don't explicitly spell out the themes every five seconds, but like. if you didn't watch the boiling rock then you cannot understand sokka. and weirdly enough i also believe that zuka shippers are the biggest culprit of this despite this episode being thee zucchini episode because they somehow still have the audacity to characterize sokka as "goofy sunshine who exists to comfort zuko" when like. the entire point is that sokka is legitimately suicidal here and zuko is doing everything in his power to support him thru what is quite literally a mental breakdown. like their relationship is legitimately interesting i don't understand how people have taken that and made it deeply boring.....but i digress.

the boiling rock is quite obviously sokka at his lowest. the worst thing that could ever happen to him – fumbling a mission that was squarely his responsibility, from its conception to its execution, due to not being able to sufficiently compartmentalize his emotions, leading to the mass imprisonment of most of his comrades, including the men of his tribe whom he idolized his entire life and felt immense pressure to live up to, including his father who he is deathly afraid of disappointing (for reasons that have nothing to hakoda being malicious or neglectful in any way, fwiw), and thus being directly implicated in the failure and the harm caused by said failure – happened. sokka is someone who is especially bad at dealing with failure, because a) he is exceptionally talented, and thus has less experience dealing with failure in both minor and major ways, and thus lacks the emotional resilience developed through the process of struggle and growth that normal people (such as, incidentally, zuko) go through and b) to sokka, whose primary desire at all times is to protect and provide for others in any way he possibly can, for someone else to sacrifice themselves for him constitutes a fundamental disruption to the order. there is a perverse wrongness to kya or yue or hakoda or suki making sacrifices on their own volition, because it means that sokka has existentially failed to protect them by martyring himself. like, he somehow feels so guilty about suki being imprisoned that when azula reveals this piece of information to him, it literally distracts him from his own mission. and mind you, there's absolutely no way sokka could have known or been responsible for suki's imprisonment. but he still feels guilty nonetheless. and azula knows that, knows exactly how to twist the knife to make him break, because, well, it's honestly pretty obvious.

sokka obviously cannot retroactively save his mother or his first girlfriend, but he can save his father and his current girlfriend. in "the awakening" aang says he has to restore his honor after the guilt and shame of his failure in ba sing se (aang is also an incurable gifted kid perfectionist, btw, as is azula. posts for another time...) and sokka repeats zuko's line again in this episode, after experiencing the guilt and shame of his failure during the eclipse. the driving motivation of zuko's entire character, feeling like he has failed in some ontological way and must therefore redeem himself or die trying, is reinforced through aang and sokka's respective experiences mirroring that drive. aang goes out in a storm and nearly drowns to redeem himself in some vague, nebulous way, because he isn't thinking rationally. and likewise sokka, who usually always has a plan and always thinks things through, feels that caution and foresight is pointless, because he came up with a genuinely brilliant invasion plan and it didn't work, so clearly there's something wrong with him (just as he always suspected) and no amount of planning even matters, because he's a capital F Failure and always will be. and so he vows to save his father, as he promised him he would when they parted on the day of black sun, or die trying, because if he can't even do that then what is he good for; at least he'll die a martyr, which to him, is basically his ideal situation. because to sokka, dying as a martyr is basically the highest form of fulfilling his purpose (being needed, protecting people) and so if he dies a martyr, then maybe his catastrophic failure (that is entirely his fault and rests squarely on his shoulders btw) can be forgiven. so his plan is basically just to sacrifice himself for his father so that he can die "redeemed." very normal, rational, healthy behavior, i would say.

sidenote, i also see people claim that "the boiling rock" makes sokka look stupid because why wouldn't he take any of the insanely talented benders to a prison in a giant volcano surrounded by a boiling lake, and it's like. sokka literally admits that he's not being rational, that he doesn't think he's going to survive this, that this is not a good idea. it would go against sokka's entire modus operandi if he brought the children who he feels a deep, presiding responsibility to protect on a suicide mission that he's lowkey hoping will fail (because he not so secretly loves courting death. it's like she's the moon or something). he only lets zuko come with him because he doesn't actually care whether zuko lives or dies at this point. sokka has absolutely no faith in zuko whatsoever (and frankly, why would he, zuko has yet to actually prove himself to him. he didn't even kill combustion man; sokka did) so he has no idea that zuko is actually going to be helpful and supportive in a meaningful way. and frankly, if he had known that at the beginning, or even remotely liked zuko as a person, he probably wouldn't have caved so easily when zuko invited himself to join. if he didn't think that zuko was objectively worse than him and basically worthless as a human being, i doubt he would have let himself be so vulnerable with zuko in the first place. meanwhile zuko is eating it up bc he's like "omg he's confiding in me he's letting me help him we're basically besties" because he doesn't actually know sokka well enough to realize that sokka doesn't actually do that shit with people he remotely respects. shit like "my first girlfriend turned into the moon" and "i had a feeling this was going to be a one way trip" are simply not things that sokka would say out loud 98% of the time. the fact that he is admitting something real is not a testament to the trust he places in zuko, but rather the opposite. sokka spilling his guts (you know, for him) to his resident collateral damage, sokka bringing his lovingly crafted space sword on this mission, sokka not even confirming whether or not his father is actually there beforehand – he's simply stopped giving a fuck, he doesn't care whether or not he lives to see another day, because to him, he has nothing left to lose.

but of course, that also isn't true at all. i mean, for one thing, zuko still needs to teach aang firebending, so he does serve a pretty important function to the group, and zuko simply telling him to do hot squats in his absence does not qualify as significant tutelage. but also, even more importantly, sokka is integral to the fabric of the group. when he's gone for a day in "sokka's master" they literally all just shut down and start complaining about how much they miss him (we don't actually see any b-roll of the gaang hanging around the western air temple because the episode is simply too busy for that, so who can say whether the same thing occurs twice). sokka cannot afford to simply die just because his first plan failed, he still has a major responsibility to his friends. fucking idiot. i've said before that sokka has the emotional resilience of like. a pathetic wet newborn kitten caught in the rain. but like, come on man. i mean, as someone who has also suffered from debilitating perfectionist issues and never had to be responsible for a failed military invasion that cost my people their freedom, i do get it, but still. not his best moment. although there is something genuinely admirable about the fact that after he finds suki, he decides that saving suki is enough, and genuinely does want to succeed in his mission going forward. like his love for suki is one of the only things that consistently makes him happy and makes him forget that his greatest dream in life is to be murdered, and that's so beautiful to me.

the entire point of this episode, by the way, is that sokka is wrong. if that isn't obvious. sokka's entire worldview, that he only has value insofar as he exists to provide for others, and if he fails to protect people in any capacity, he has fundamentally failed to uphold the one reason he even exists on this earth, and thus he does not deserve to exist unless he is bearing the weight of everyone's suffering or otherwise proving his worth through sacrificing himself for others, is um. fucking stupid???? and incorrect. and stupid. the thing is, unlike zuko, sokka can't really point to any one person who taught him to see himself this way. he can't just face his father and tell him that his abuse was cruel and wrong, because hakoda is a good father who has never not supported and believed in and encouraged him, done everything in his power to protect him, loved him unconditionally. hakoda has inadvertently damaged sokka's psyche in various ways, of course, but never with any intention to hurt him. like, ozai tried to kill zuko, on multiple occasions. it's a pretty obvious indicator of the primary source of harm in his life. but sokka is equally if not more Unwell, and there's no one single figure he can blame, because his complex lies within a tangled web of what my best friend fanon calls the "massive psychoexistential complex" of the colonized subject. he is being dehumanized not through interpersonal abuse, but through the violent logic of imperialism. sokka's formative traumas inform his psychology as he understands that he only has value insofar as he is protecting the people he loves (namely his sister) from being murdered by imperialists, much like his mother did. and that logic is continually reified through the violence he is being subjected to, until he truly absorbs the belief that his life has no value on its own, that he is genuinely Less than [human] in some fundamental way. which is obviously deeply tragic, but also lowkey kind of comical because he also happens to be the specialest boy in the world, who literally did come up with multiple working escape plans at the world's most secure supermax on the fly, mind you! but whenever anyone tries to point that out, including piandao literally saying "you're the most exceptional and worthy person i've ever met in my life" sokka is just like "um. that is incorrect actually." like NO ONE should depersonalize themselves and feel that their only value lies in their ability to serve and sacrifice themselves for others, but it's especially ironic that sokka literally does not think he has any value as a human being, and yet he is also objectively exceptional. like, do you understand why i adore this character so much. do you.

anyway. the point of this episode isn't that sokka has worth because he's exceptional, either. that's lowkey the point of "sokka's master," but also a) sokka doesn't really internalize it and b) the more important part of the episode lies in how much the gaang just misses his company because they miss their neurotic control freak big brother who makes bad jokes. but even if he couldn't come up with multiple working escape plans on the fly, suki and zuko still stay by his side anyway because they care about him. they are demonstrating that they would risk their safety and possibly even their lives, in the exact way that sokka is always trying to for everyone else, for him. that sokka doesn't need to be the one who always protects everyone else, and that he isn't a failure for letting people who care about him help him and protect him. and sokka has to accept their help, because suki and zuko are simply too stubborn not to force him into letting them support him. they are standing in a literal maximum security prison in the middle of a volcano and they are still choosing to prioritize sokka's mental health and wellbeing, which is honestly crazy, but also exactly what he needs in this moment. suki has known sokka for what, 3 days maximum? yes they're soulmates but like, girl get up. and in zuko's case, "girl get up" is magnified tenfold, because he literally risked his life to go with him to the boiling rock (also largely motivated by the guilt of not being able to stage his own prison break with iroh, but still!) and let himself get imprisoned despite being the fire nation's most wanted criminal, stayed by sokka's side no matter what including getting thrown into a literal torture chamber for him, jumped across a gaping boiling chasm with no guarantee that he'd survive except for the implicit expectation that sokka would catch him on the other side. like zuko is so fucking pussywhipped and sokka didn't even value him as a human being until like halfway through their entire mission. insane.

in conclusion: "the boiling rock" is a beautiful story of the most mentally ill boy on the planet (he took first place ever since jet died rip jet forever in our hearts), and his two ride or die bitches who he met like yesterday, and also his dad, and a casual homophobe named chit sang, all working together to demonstrate to him why killing yourself is a bad idea in most cases, probably. it's also the story of the most insane dyke drama of all time, but that's for another post (of which i have of course made multiple, most recently, here). i said it's the apotheosis of sokka's arc, and by that i mean it's the most overt acknowledgement of what his fundamental issue is, and the first steps one must take in actually resolving it (namely, accepting help and support from your peers and loved ones). do i think that sokka is magically cured after returning from the boiling rock? no, probably not (in fact, because i'm somewhat sick & twisted myself, i like to imagine that once the war ends, he actually gets worse). but he does seem genuinely happier after they return. and maybe that's just bc kyoshi warrior pussy hits different, but like. he was able to rely on others for help (including mai my best friend mai) who supported him unconditionally and prevented him from simply giving up, and that's so incredibly important. that kind of support is always important, to everyone, of course, but as we've established, it's especially important to sokka specifically, at his lowest (quite possibly ever), in this situation. no one has an obligation to risk their life for someone else, but sokka is something who thinks that his purpose is to risk his life for other people (namely katara), and so for people who really have nothing to gain and everything to lose in standing by and promising not to leave without him, to actually show that they support him unconditionally is huge. if sokka has no fans then i am dead and so is suki zuko hakoda toph aang piandao iroh the mechanist etc etc etc. perfect episode <3

#suicide /#writergracethepanda #asks #analysis #sokka #sokkaxsuki #cinematic masterpiece the boiling rock part 2 #(technically i use that tag to talk about maizulee but swagever)#this post is basically just stream of consciousness unstructured rambling so i hope you find it valuable in some way...#at this point i've given up on trying to do Readings of and make Arguments about sokka #and i'm just rambling. i posted a whole fucking. ACTUAL essay about him yesterday and no one read it #but this is not that. this is. who even knows. it's certainly not an ''essay''#my thesis statement: i love sokka so much #my body paragraphs: hes a weak willed mentally ill fucking IDIOT #just trust me ok. trust the process

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saintsenara · 10 months

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are you still doing ur asks abt the ships? if u are what r ur thoughts on wolfstar? if not have a very good day!

thank you very much for the ask anon - and thank you in particular for leading me into danger...

my answer to this is going to be - and wolfstar shippers keep calm please - similar to my jegulus one. which means the tldr is: write what you want, but i’m unlikely to read it, especially if you don’t acknowledge the difference between canon and fanon.

i have no aversion to wolfstar coming up as a background ship [let them be happy while harry/anyone are having drama, i’m all for it] but i generally don’t search out fics in which wolfstar is [one of] the central pairing(s) and tend only to read wolfstar-centric stuff if it’s written or recommended by someone whose opinion i trust.

this isn’t because i think the pairing is unfeasible [the canonical sirius and remus very much have the vibes of people who have enjoyed each other’s bodies…] but because the community which has built up around wolfstar, both among "original wolfstar, y’know, like in canon" fans and their sworn enemies"‘marauders fandom, canon who?" fans, largely expects certain tropes and characterisations which divorce the characters from what i personally think is interesting about them.

the most egregious of these tropes, in my opinion, is the fact that wolfstar which purports to be canon-compliant or which follows the canon timeline deals so infrequently with the fact that both remus and sirius have such little trust in each other that they believed utterly sincerely that the other was a death eater.

it’s crucial that we understand the profundity of this suspicion and - therefore - what it says about the fragility of the loyalty between them prior to 1980-81. this is not a brief flash of distrust in a high-pressure couple of days at the end of october. the evidence of canon is that we’re talking about a period of months - if not a full year - in which remus and sirius not only think it justifiable to doubt the other’s loyalties, but also seem to be acting on that doubt to try to get the other in trouble.

harry is born in july 1980, at a point when voldemort has all but won the war. severus snape defects to the order at some point relatively soon after this, when voldemort decides that the potters are the family referred to in the prophecy. peter pettigrew then defects to the death eaters in the autumn of 1980 [which we know because sirius says in prisoner of azkaban that he was spying for a full year before voldemort’s fall].

snape then evidently tells dumbledore that there is a spy in the order - although he clearly doesn’t, despite a common accusation levelled against him, know this is pettigrew, since the voldemort of the first war has apparently heard of operational security, unlike his resurrected counterpart - and this leads dumbledore to demand a restriction on james and lily’s movements until - by august 1981 [the plausible date of lily’s letter to sirius in deathly hallows] - they are basically under house arrest. the implication of canon is that, by this summer at the very latest, james and lily are aware they’re being spied on, from which i think it’s reasonable to infer three things: that dumbledore has begun to suspect that sirius is the spy over the opening half of 1981; that remus, who canonically always trusts dumbledore’s judgements, uses this to confirm his own suspicions about sirius; and that sirius, whose canonical relationship with dumbledore has an undercurrent of unease, especially in order of the phoenix, picks up on this and assumes remus is briefing dumbledore against him. i think it’s also reasonable to infer that the only person convinced there isn’t a spy among his close friends is james.

peter visits the potters’ safe-house and is aware of its address, so we can assume remus and sirius are the same. by october 1981, however, there are clearly concerns that james and lily’s whereabouts are known to the death eaters - perhaps also accompanied by information from snape that voldemort, who loves a bit of symbolism, has selected halloween as the day he will strike - which trigger dumbledore’s advice that they perform the fidelius charm. dumbledore’s unease when james picks sirius as secret keeper is confirmation that he had identified sirius as the spy. that remus is never suggested as a potential candidate is confirmation that sirius believes him to be the spy - and possibly also that james is beginning to think his best friend might be onto something [i always wonder if remus’ bitterness when accusing james of being too trusting in deathly hallows is a flash of self-loathing about the fact that james didn’t trust him]. sirius then persuades james to use peter and, within a week of the charm being performed, james and lily are dead, peter has disappeared, and sirius is in azkaban.

[as an aside here, i don’t love the amount of dumbledore bashing in wolfstar, and i think it’s worth doing some dumbledore defence: sirius’ internment in azkaban without trial - a reference to an actual historical event, if you were thinking it sounded far-fetched - is not dumbledore’s fault. the wizengamot acts on dumbledore’s credible belief that sirius was the secret keeper, while sirius - who is cackling his head off the whole time - refuses to speak in his own defence. similarly, dumbledore does not deny sirius access to harry (via hagrid) when he arrives, distraught, in godric’s hollow because he’s contrived a machiavellian plan to keep harry alone and unloved with the dursleys instead of with his true family, but because all the evidence he has available to him is that harry’s life is in danger at sirius’ hands.]

so sirius spends the next twelve years in azkaban, with remus clearly nowhere near his mind. that he stays in prison, and only escapes when he has an unimpeachable chance to get his revenge and protect harry, is because he - like his narrative mirror, snape - is so haunted by his role [indirect, but he canonically thinks that he essentially cast the killing curse himself] in the death of someone he fiercely loved that he considers azkaban a punishment he deserves.

this links to the next issue i have with a lot of wolfstar: that the defining force in both remus and sirius’ lives is james, not each other.

the dynamic of the marauders is frequently reduced to the following: wolfstar, who are best friends and lovers it would take the heat-death of the universe to pull apart; james and whichever romantic partner the story wishes to pair him with, who are the same; and peter, who is either there and completely futile, or is replaced with a fanonised female character [dorcas, marlene, alice etc. - none of whom, may i say, it makes sense to have in the same school year as the marauders, dumbledore is not actually running the order as a gang of child soldiers] or a woobiefied death eater [regulus black, barty crouch jr., evan rosier etc.].

but in canon, a different dynamic is clear. james is the lynchpin of the marauders’ world, the anchoring point to all their senses of self; and the moment he is out of the picture no bonds of loyalty remain among the other three. [it’s tempting to imagine that remus always harbours a belief that sirius is innocent, but i think that this would be less due to an unconditional affection for his friend and more due to the fact that his own self-loathing needs to believe that he couldn’t have stopped james and lily dying; which he should have done if sirius really was the culprit, since he clearly suspected he was a death eater].

if you asked remus, sirius, and peter, clearly each of them would describe james as their best friend [even though james’ eyes are only for sirius - he only has one best man, and harry only has one godfather], but their relationships with each other outside of james are less clearly defined, at least before sirius and remus are the only two left.

this doesn’t prevent pre-1981 [or james lives au] wolfstar - your boyfriend and your best friend being different people is fine, obviously - but it is going to change the dynamic between them in ways i think are significant and which i would like to see explored more, particularly in fics which acknowledge that - for remus and sirius - this dynamic might not lead to the healthiest relationship…

for example, during their schooldays, wolfstar are likely to talk to each other through james, rather than james being surplus to the flirtatious dynamic between them; remus is likely to feel awkward or insecure about the fact that sirius - whose personality is closer to james’ than his - is so happy and gregarious in james’ company; sirius is likely to resent remus’ tendency to stay out of the action, since the fact that he and james mutually encourage each other in their exploits is key to their relationship; remus is likely to resent the fact that sirius is treated by the potters as a second son, while he isn’t, and so on.

during the first war, even if we remove the fact they suspect each other of spying from the equation, they will clash over how to protect james - and remus will undoubtedly take this to mean that sirius cares more for james than for him. during the second war, the long shadow of james - so painful that remus can still barely talk about him, while sirius wants to do nothing but - will hover over everything.

and this leads on to the third reason i generally don’t enjoy wolfstar: that the complicated threads of their canon personalities are removed or reduced to irrelevance to make them fit fanon which has no basis in the books.

now, i’m not going to get into appearance discourse here, although yes, i prefer a tall sirius who tends to wear wizarding clothing and has never heard a single cool piece of muggle music in his life, and i prefer a hollowed and world-weary remus who doesn’t have visible scars. i think background discourse is slightly more important: a great deal of sirius is lost if he is turned into someone who likes being pureblood, who feels more comfortable around his "own kind", or who aspires to sit on the hereditary wizengamot; a great deal of remus is lost if he is turned into someone who didn’t grow up in a loving home with parents who did their best, but whose inability to give him the childhood he really deserved in the face of the prejudice against werewolves in the wizarding world encouraged his absurd gratitude towards anyone who made even a half-hearted effort to act in his interests.

all of my preferred aspects of characterisation are canon-compliant. but deviating from canon is not a moral failing. the term is more flexible than many of its defenders acknowledge, and people are at perfect liberty to imagine that characters look, identify, or behave differently than they do in the canon narrative without that automatically bringing accusations of writing them out-of-character [after all, it’s clear in the books that both harry and hermione are white, but art and fics which portray them as a different race can still meaningfully be described as canon-compliant if that's an aim they're written to have].

similarly, rejecting canon compliance entirely is just as fine - i think you should indicate to your readers if you’re doing that, but i’m capable of using the back button and moving on with my life if you don’t.

the only hard and fast rule is don’t seek out people who do things differently to you and insult them directly, although i would also suggest that it’s worthwhile to spend a bit of time in introspection about how lots of popular wolfstar and the fandom around it - like the fandom around all slash ships - portrays queerness in ways which are heteronormative [i.e. exclusively equating bottoming with femininity] and portrays women in ways which are misogynistic [i.e. how tonks is often treated in wolfstar discourse].

however, with this said, i think there is a difference between rejecting canon compliance and yet still writing the characters in ways which feel connected in interesting ways to their complex canon selves, and just writing original characters named sirius black and remus lupin.

because i just cannot get on board with a remus who is written as the cleverest one of the four, as assertive and direct instead of avoidant and passive-aggressive, as anything other than incredibly selfish, as anything other than an extreme people-pleaser, as being soft and sensitive [his mild manner hides the fact that he is incredibly cold and calculating - this is a man who is prepared to execute wormtail in front of three children mere minutes after learning he’s still alive], as majorly regretting the snape-versus-werewolf incident [he loves it! snape is terrified of him! he downplays it constantly!], or as functioning as the moral heart of the marauders [when sirius says in order of the phoenix that remus tried to restrain their bullying of snape, he is doing it to make remus - who is incapable of self-criticism - feel better in the face of harry’s anger] when he is in fact quite morally cowardly.

and i cannot get on board with a sirius who is written as a goofy himbo, as a constant flirt and womaniser [more grey-ace sirius, i would like to see it], as the world’s wokest king [a man who’s upset his slave isn’t sufficiently deferential to him isn’t someone who’s going to speak in queer theory buzzwords - this, of course, doesn’t prevent sirius being written as queer, non-binary, trans, femme, and so on, it just means that authors have to deal with the fact that sirius’ way of existing as any of these things will be human, rather than perfect], as a small bean unable to take care of himself [he escapes from prison and swims across the north sea! he charges into danger at the drop of a hat!], as anything other than incandescently loyal to james and harry, as - after james’ death - anything other than completely wrecked by guilt over the fact he caused it, as best friends with his brother and his gang of slytherins, or as lacking the fundamental arrogance and cruelty which make him so interesting.

and wolfstar can work, absolutely, when these things are taken into account. i find the idea of second war remus and sirius, stuck in grimmauld place together, buying harry a joint christmas present, the last survivors in a generation completely hollowed out by loss, incredibly moving. remus' choice to self-destruct in half-blood prince - having lost sirius so soon after having found him again - does, i think, justifiably indicate a change in their relationship during order of the phoenix which can be seen as romantic. i find the idea of first war remus and sirius, each in love with a man they think is a spy, wonderfully bittersweet. i find the idea of school-aged remus pining desperately for a friend who is head-over-heels in love with james to be, quite frankly, canon.

and i also think that two original characters called sirius black and remus lupin can do whatever they want - i’ll just be closing my eyes, pretending i cannot see, and leaving them to it.

#asks answered #asenora's opinions on ships #wolfstar #sirius black #remus lupin #i am once again in danger

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oscconfessions · 8 days

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"hey hey hey lover! you don't have to be a star!" astrobiology ass line like. that's tree to his lover. "you don't have to be a star" BECAUSE STARS TURN INTO BLACK HOLES WHEN TBEY DIE?!?!?!?!?!? astrobiolog . ..y. those lyrics are from the song hey lover by the daughters of the eye.guys did the daughters of the eye make a bfdi refreence!?!?!'1!?!?!!?!'11'1actually i'm going to put all the parts of the song that remind me of tgem here becaus ethat's THE astrobiology song. numb er hfj#one; thw rhytm is just so astrobiology. it's exactly their vibe. tge ir vibe is that.

Hey, hey, hey, lover You don't have to be a star Hey, hey, hey, lover I love you just the way you are

this ones obvious and also the first lines of the song. so i won't repeat what i said already and just get to the "i love you just the way you are". to me this is tree reasuring bh that he loves him for who he is yeashhh he may be deathly to the touch or even to just be around and all that but that's just him!!!or something i don't know

Hey, hey, hey, lover You don't have to have a thing

so this thing is more like me projecting what i want to happen into the song BUT!hear me out. tree (again) after the latest tpot episode because bh's whole (not really but shh) thing was the preventing death thing no matter what and now that he's letting go of that. like what would be his thing then? answer:he doesn't need to have a thing ok next question

Well, you don't have to worry Life's a problem in my hands

nowwww it's time for bh to shine. like i don't think i have to explain this too much but like. this would be a direct answer to the lyrica part above this one in.in my eyes. and and umm uhh RAHH I DON'T KNOW I JUST THINK HE'D BE INSECURE ABOUT HIMSELF BECAUSE I THINK HE THINKS HIS WHOLE DEAL IS BEING DEATHLY.thanks for coming to my ted talk

yours truly, the most sane astrobiology shipper on this blog.

#confession #/bfdi #/bfdi/tree #/bfdi/black hole #/bfdi/black hole/tree

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mirjam-writes · 7 months

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to dive, to fall, to feel

Look! I drew something! This is for @do-it-with-style-events mini reverse bang event, so there is also a wonderful story written by my collaboration partner DeathShipper (@deathly-shipper)!

After reuniting and making up, Aziraphale and Crowley take an extended holiday around the world. Here we find them in one of the most beautiful locations in Brazil, the isle of Fernando de Noronha, and Crowley suggests they do something unexpected.

Read it on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51135919

#good omens #good omens fanart #good omens art #good omens fanfiction #my art

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vivithefolle · 2 months

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You seem to be really against Hermione for the bird incident, but don’t seem to care much about Harry sending Hedwig to claw at Ron and Hermione during the summer preceding fifth year, why is that?(/gen) You also seem to ship Ronarry. Is it just because she’s the canon love interest that you’re so upset? I know Harry regretted telling Hedwig to do what she did afterwards, but I don’t remember him ever apologizing to Ron and Hermione. How can we know that Hermione didn’t apologize to Ron after he came back in Deathly Hallows but before the battle of hogwarts?(I agree with your opinions on Hermione in general, I’m just curious.)

If you don't know, I've made some jokes about how Harmony shippers are right about Harry and Hermione having something in common, which is that they both sent birds to attack Ron.

Harry doesn't interest me nearly as much as Hermione because to be frank he's pretty much just... the most boring character in the series to me. I like him for his Ron-loving potential which is pretty off the charts when Rowling isn't actively using Ron as a stepping stone for Harry and Hermione to look better.

I'm actually a pretty big Romione shipper even if I myself get confused about what I'm mad about sometimes. Honestly, it's just that I've kinda had it with people constantly writing Ron fucking up and having to make it up to Hermione, I want her to be fucking up and making it up to him and it not being considered a Crime Against Women Everywhere because yeah, women fuck up and hurt men too, men also get abused or shat on by women, it happens. Hermione as she is has a pretty toxic mentality, what with her often using violence completely casually (her first "big heroic moment" in the series is to set a man on fire) coupled with that shitty tendency of Rowling to use "Hermione on the verge of tears" as a kind of sedative to make the average reader go "who cares what Hermione did before, she's crying NOW and that's UNFORGIVABLE, PROTECT HER".

But, Harry himself also has a system like that, by virtue of being Our Poor Orphan Protagonist. Honestly, I hate to say it but Potterheads read another book because yes, Harry is nothing new, when an author wants you to root for their protagonist they give them a backstory that makes you want good things for them, yes Harry's suffering is just all destined to make you attached to him and meant to make you think everything that ever happens to HIM personally is automatically The Most Horrible Thing Ever To Happen To Anyone Ever and I'm kinda done with that as a whole because of fandom experience. I can only tell people to pay attention to what Ron goes through only to be rebuked by a "but look how hard Harry had it, in comparison Ron is a baby" so many times before I get completely soured and decide that the character they feel so sad for doesn't need any more people to feel sorry for.

... I don't know if I'm being clear. But yeah I function mostly through pure spite nowadays.

I know Harry regretted telling Hedwig to do what she did afterwards, but I don’t remember him ever apologizing to Ron and Hermione.

He did say a token sorry to Ron specifically:

He showed Harry the index finger of his right hand, which sported a half-healed but clearly deep cut. ‘Oh, yeah,’ Harry said. ‘Sorry about that, but I wanted answers, you know –’

(I say "token" because yeah it's not really an apology given how it's immediately followed by a justification.)

Hermione however?

‘He seemed to think it was best,’ said Hermione rather breathlessly. ‘Dumbledore, I mean.’ ‘Right,’ said Harry. He noticed that her hands, too, bore the marks of Hedwig’s beak and found that he was not at all sorry.

WOOP WOOP FEEL THE HARMONY YET

How can we know that Hermione didn’t apologize to Ron after he came back in Deathly Hallows but before the battle of hogwarts?

Honestly she can have apologized anytime, I'd just like it to be shown to me, and I'd like it to mean something.

While for example @divagonzo believes that after Malfoy Manor Hermione realizes her own mortality and blunts her sharper edges, I still remember the scene where Ron isn't sure they can trust Griphook and Hermione immediately insult him for being racist. Yeah, if that's blunting her sharp edges then I sure hope she's got other ways to do it otherwise she's gonna need a lot more Malfoy Manors.

As it stands, Harry and Hermione are really underdeveloped and bare-bones. If Harry has a character arc then I've missed it entirely because while he does realize that Snape has reasons and shit he's still kinda hating on him all through OOTP, HBP and DH until the Epilogue pulls the rug from beneath our feet. Hermione has moments indicating there's some things happening - her arc with Luna in OOTP is neat, in DH she finally learned to thank Ron for complimenting her - but aside from that she never is confronted to actual failure, to actual dilemnas, to actual problems without a true "I'm right you're wrong" solution - we only see her "being right" without anything exploring what she COULD be beyond "being right".

Which leaves Ron to shoulder the burden of having to do character development for two static characters that amount to "male role model" and "female role model". Ron IS confronted with failure, with actual dilemnas to which there's no easy answer or solution, Ron IS confronted with his personal character flaws... in pretty much every book, he's kept in a loop of "complete character arc" -> "oh no JKR needs drama to happen and she can't have Role Model 1 & 2 do it because they're supposed to be Above Mere Mortals" -> "backtrack on Ron's character arc so he can cause the drama so she doesn't have to strain her brain too hard", which is pretty obviously a disservice to Ron's character. And sadly, the fandom picks up on it but takes the wrong message from it: instead of realizing "wait, Rowling is violating the rules of good storytelling by constantly backtracking on her one good and complex character's development all so she doesn't have to risk Harry and Hermione's popularity by using their character flaws to create conflict", the fandom instead goes "ugh Ron is always causing messes while Harry and Hermione always have their hearts in the right place and always want what's best and anyway if they ever did something bad it's because they were forced by the situation".

It's... upsetting.

#ron weasley #harry potter #hermione granger #ron weasley defense squad #ron weasley defence squad #hp meta #anti jk rowling #vivi answers

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robsterskellington · 2 months

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Well, if you all insist. Here's a cute section for those skk shippers.

Necessary context: this is about a year or so after Vanitas came to Yokohama, so his memories have since returned. Certain other characters from VNC have since made an appearance and some caused issues that won't be spoiled here, but just for the context Naenia *has* hurt Chuuya and made a small impact on his appearance, while also harming him mentally and physically. So this is Dazai trying to comfort Chuuya:

"A puppy?" Vanitas tilted his head, surprised at those words coming from Dazai's mouth- it had been a quiet day at the Agency, so Dazai had asked to borrow Vanitas for what he'd called *personal reasons*. It turned out that Dazai wanted to show his love to Chuuya in a new way, and wanted him to feel better after the last incident they had.

"I'm terrified of dogs, but Chuuya loves them. I want him to be happy, and he put up with so much of my crap." Dazai chuckled, though he was visibly shaking and had grown deathly pale, "I thought maybe I wouldn't be as scared if we got a puppy and raised it so it wouldn't be a vicious monster like the dogs I know."

Vanitas understood that, being afraid of something and worried that it would affect his life if he didn’t get over it. Also he was more of a cat person, so were most of the Agency, as proven by how everyone liked Atsushi. Obviously it wasn't the only reason, but it was a big factor. Humming to himself, Vanitas asked, "Are you wanting to go to the pet store, or..?"

That had been something else Dazai had to think about. He slowly shook his head, "I want to adopt from a shelter. Chuuya would love that, plus even I think it's a good idea, rescuing rather than relying on a possibly sketchy breeder."

Now, Vanitas had come to respect Dazai: he was capable of being cruel and calculating, but he had a heart filled with warmth and kindness, and that wasn't something that anyone could or would ignore. Even when it came to something he hated, Dazai chose the option that was best morally and logically. Yokohama had a lot of strays, so rescue centres were an essential, thus it wasn't difficult to find one. Dazai was terrified, both of the dogs and the thought of this new commitment, but...

Naenia had nearly taken Chuuya from him. He couldn't lose him, not Chuuya. So now, he needed to make sure that he never lost him again, without being manipulative or controlling. Not that anything could truly control Chuuya, he was far too *Human*. Dazai had already fucked up so many times, and it was too much- Chuuya had been the one affected, it was time to fix what he could and ease any pain.

Time froze when a giant grey dog started snarling and barking when Dazai got a little too close to its cage, and he immediately fell on his ass, trying to scoot away while hyperventilating; this was far more than just a fear, this was straight up trauma.

*****

"Stand up and fight, Shūji!!"

Shūji Tsushima was about five years old at this point, standing in a makeshift boxing ring with a metal chain fence circling the entire thing. He and his father were the only people there, but in the cage with him were three dogs at least double Shūji's size. His father was training him to become stronger, he'd said. Shūji wasn't unarmed, he'd been provided a knife, and a gun.

But those snarling fangs had absolutely terrified him, he couldn't even attempt to turn his back and grab the weapons he'd dropped the moment the mutts came out. One had jumped towards him and bit his arm, causing the poor boy to scream and cry, "Father, please help me!!" This wasn't how he wanted to die.

"Pathetic excuse for a son." His father's words was the last voice he heard before he passed out, but the last sounds he heard? Three gunshots.

*****

"Dazai! You're okay, just hold onto me."

That was Vanitas' voice... but wasn't he..?

No. That's right. Shūji Tsushima wasn't here anymore, Osamu Dazai stood in his place, but still had all those same fears, memories and visions. Vanitas was rubbing Dazai's back, slowly guiding him from his panic attack. He did hear the sound of a dog, but no vicious barking, just a whine. Dazai steeled his nerves and looked over at the dog who'd barked, and... it was the one whining. Actually, it looked really sad, like it knew it did something bad.

After taking some calming breaths, Dazai sat up properly and Vanitas reached into his pocket, "I've got chocolate on me, that should help you." The Agency Members always carried some form of snack on them in case Ranpo asked them to tag along, and Vanitas usually carried chocolate, claiming that it was medically beneficial, whatever that meant. However, since Dazai felt better after having a piece, he wasn't inclined to call bullshit.

"...that dog looks sad." It was weak and childish sounding, but Dazai wanted to make sure he was still sort of functioning. Plus, he found himself a little curious.

Vanitas gave him that explanation: that dog was female and had been used for breeding most of her life. She was seven years old, and had only just been rescued, though not before her abusers got one last use out of her. Apparently the name she was given was Viola, and she was expecting another litter of puppies within the next few weeks. It sounded like the sort of sob story that would pull at Sigma's heartstrings.

Once he'd calmed down properly, Dazai decided that after coming this far, he wasn't about to give up now. Vanitas stayed close to him, as they looked around. Animals are more intelligent than some people would make them out to be, and not a single dog barked after Dazai's panic attack. It helped him feel a lot more at ease, and he was able to look at the dogs without breaking out in goosebumps.

Eventually, one large cage caught his attention: the inside was full of puppies that had a mix of tan, white and blueish coloured fur. The mother wasn't with them, and the puppies were clearly a few months old, so they weren't dependent on milk but still very small. Most of them were playing with toys or playfully fighting each other, but there was one who was just... in the corner on its own. It must have been the runt.

Dazai didn't know why, but he found himself kneeling down and while he flinched when he got that runt's attention, he also felt warm inside. Its eyes, one was blue and one was brown, just like Chuuya's! Even in the same positions. The white colour that separated the blue from the tan looked peculiar, it was almost like the shape of lightning bolts, all across its fur. The puppy's ears were tall, far too big for its body, and when it tilted its head at Dazai, its entire body tilted with it, until it fell on its side with a squeak.

"Easy there," Dazai chuckled, carefully reaching out to the cage, letting the puppy catch his scent. The puppy nuzzled his fingers and gave a small lick. Dazai's eyes widened and his thoughts stuttered, *Wait, is this how most people react with dogs? That was so adorable, and I don't think I can leave here without this one.*

"Oh, he never usually goes to people!" The woman who ran the shelter had walked up, having heard about the man fainting in her workplace, "He usually hides in the back away from people. Would you like me to get him out for you?"

Of course Dazai said yes. He was still afraid of dogs, and it would take him forever to recover, but this puppy brought out a reaction that wasn't true terror. She scooped up the puppy and put him on the floor- he scampered up to Dazai, sniffing around him and flopping onto the floor when his ears turned against him again. Dazai smirked again, before stroking his fur, absolutely amazed by how soft it was, he imagined that this was what a cloud would feel like if he could touch them. The puppy yawned and curled up close to him, which sold Dazai completely. After all, if this dog liked Dazai, he would love Chuuya.

However, he looked over at Viola's cage and frowned- all alone in the world and pregnant. Didn't seem fair. Fyodor, Nikolai and Sigma had apparently been talking about getting pets, and while they weren't all on speaking terms, Dazai did keep in touch with Sigma and dialled his number.

*Ring... Ring... click.*

"Dazai? Is everything okay?" Of course Sigma would immediately worry. After giving a brief synopsis of the situation, and the detailed version of Viola's story, Dazai grinned when he heard Sigma's voice become laced with emotion and tears, "Luckily I'm in town. And we did think about getting dogs, so one and some puppies on the way? I think that's that. I'll be right there!"

Dazai laughed when Sigma hung up, likely sprinting here. He told Vanitas, who laughed as well and gave the puppy who claimed Dazai a little stroke, "He's adorable. This one is yours and Chuuya's dog?"

After looking down, and seeing the puppy give him a tail wag, Dazai nodded. This was their dog.

***

"I cannot believe you actually did that." Sigma was walking a cheerful Viola down the street with Dazai, who held a box containing the new pup. He also bought another surprise, but he kept that in his coat pocket.

"Which part? Getting that slug and I a pet, or calling you about someone who clearly needs you?" He teased, but when Sigma had arrived and saw Viola, it was love at first sight. Naturally, Sigma had sent photos to his boyfriends, who practically begged/demanded that he come home with the pregnant dog.

"That you faced your fear so well. And that little one is going to be much happier with you." That made Dazai smile, and he appreciated that thought. "...you are prepared, right? For a dog?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. I always plan ahead, I actually bought a bunch of dog stuff and hid them on the top of the shelves and my closet so that the shortie couldn't see them." Ah, how long had it been since he'd had a dig at Chuuya's height? It wasn't a lie, though. Dazai had gotten everything necessary and hid it all from Chuuya so that he wouldn't suspect a thing.

After thanking Vanitas and congratulating Sigma on the new family member, and future family members, he headed back to the apartment. Chuuya should be home by now, so he was thankful that the dog had fallen asleep. It wouldn't be much of a surprise if the gift started barking, would it?

Once he opened the door, he heard Chuuya's voice- he was obviously on the phone, and he sounded anxious, maybe a little annoyed? "...so there's no mistakes? Fuck. No- yes, I'm fine. Just... you're definitely sure? This isn't something that you can-... okay, fine." Chuuya took a breath then cleared his throat, "...thanks, *Doc Glasses*. Bye- *yes* I said thanks, fuck off." He hung up the phone, then saw Dazai and lit up with a smile.

Dazai seemed surprised. Ango and Chuuya definitely didn't like each other to say the least, so for them to have an actual discussion with minimal cursing seemed off. But that didn't matter at that moment in time, as Dazai put the box down and went to hug his partner.

Chuuya was still drained and exhausted after Naenia attacked him, the new white streak in his hair showing and nothing could hide it. Dazai just thought it made him look even more beautiful, which he didn't even realise was possible. After a kiss, they sat on the couch, and Dazai made it clear that Chuuya's business was his own, but Chuuya just scoffed a little, "It's... to do with Verlaine."

Oh. No wonder Chuuya had been pacing. They weren't stupid, they knew Verlaine had been alive all these years, and was their superior at one point. Dazai held his hand and squeezed gently, "Wanna talk about it?"

"Not yet, but I will, I promise." Most members of the Port Mafia kept their promises, but the only two who truly kept them were Chuuya and Akutagawa. Sort of.

"Well, no rush. Anyway, I wanted to make you feel better, so I got you something." Dazai pulled out the small box from his coat and handed it over, an idiotic smile on his face.

"What have you done this time?" Chuuya would always be suspicious of any gift that Dazai brought him, since his presents used to be ridiculous in the past: toy slugs, a book about how to train dogs to be obedient, even a rubber knife to replace a real one he once stole then lost on a mission.

Dazai smirked, "Nothing~! It's just a gift to show my appreciation!" When Chuuya went to open it, Dazai quickly cleared his throat, "Ah, but you can't be mad at me."

Chuuya looked at Dazai with furrowed eyebrows, then at the seemingly inconspicuous box tied with a crimson ribbon, "There's not a bomb in here, is there? ...or a stink bug?"

Dazai shook his head, "No, just open it!" When Chuuya finally did, he tried to hide a smirk behind a glare, "What? It's perfect for my loyal dog!"

Inside was a pure black collar, with a tag in the shape of a bone. It didn't have anything engraved on it yet, but that wasn't really what Chuuya focused on, as he half-jokingly called Dazai every name under the sun. "Seriously, Osamu?! A collar?!"

Once he had his fun, Dazai turned serious. He couldn't hold it off any longer, after all. "Chuuya. I do have another gift for you, but I need you to trust me and close your eyes." He blushed when Chuuya *immediately* closed his eyes.

As if to carry on the joke, Dazai had slipped his finger through Chuuya's choker, tugging it slightly in order to pull Chuuya forward for a kiss. He acted as if he was going to completely remove the choker, only to leave it where it belonged and pulled away.

Taking another breath to steady himself, Dazai went to the box and opened it, seeing that the puppy had just started to wake up. His tail wagged at seeing Dazai, who scooped him up, and carried him over.

Swallowing his nerves, he weakly cleared his throat, "O-okay, you can open your eyes now!" Chuuya did, and he froze. Dazai was holding out the tiniest, most fluffy puppy out to him, "Surprise!"

The puppy let out a tiny yap, his tail wagging uncontrollably, and after seeing Dazai give him a look of *please for the love of God, take this puppy out of my hands*, he did, holding him close and letting him sniff, lick and nuzzle him. Dazai had looked really uncomfortable, though it was because he was scared that one wrong move could lead to him getting bitten or something, and yet Dazai was undeniably happy as well, his smile incredibly bright.

He started to cry, he couldn't help it. This was something he'd dreamed about since he learned about dogs, having a puppy of his own. "Is he ours?" He managed to say through his sobbing, which intensified as Dazai nodded. He nuzzled the puppy, who snuggled into him properly, yawning again. "Oh, 'samu. This is the best."

"I wanted to do better with my fear..." He sat with Chuuya and explained everything: the panic attack caused by a frightened Viola, how he was comforted by Vanitas and this puppy, and how they've both now got their forever homes. Chuuya leaned into him and kissed his cheek, making him smile warmly, "Glad to see Chibi thinks I made the right call."

"You really did." Chuuya stayed on the couch, and Dazai retrieved all of the dog supplies he'd hidden- food, toys, a bed, puppy mats, even some medicine in case he ever got sick. Dazai was prepared, and he wasn't letting his fear blind him to the fact that this was a living creature they were taking care of.

They let him roam and explore the apartment, watching him try to climb and run around like a maniac. Chuuya was silently thankful that the puppy didn't have the zoomies, otherwise Dazai would probably faint again. Now there was one last thing to discuss.

The one thing that the shelter didn't do was name the puppies, which naturally meant that the responsibility fell on Double Black. They both took note of the patterns on the puppies fur. Lightening bolts.

Bolt? Cute, but it didn't suit him. Thor? Too generic. Lightening? A bit too long. Zeus? ...actually.

"Zeus is a good name. He's got the lightening patterns, and he's got personality." Dazai couldn't argue with Chuuya's logic, especially since he looked at the puppy and found himself thinking that he *looked* like a Zeus, if that made any sense.

So that was the name they trained him to respond to. And Zeus was welcomed into their home, as a part of their little family. This was how far Chuuya and Dazai's relationship had come, and they loved it, just as much as they both grew to love their little Zeus.

*****

AN: *Psst.* This is what Chuuya looks like from this point, drawn by my cousin, HisDarkDisgrace on AO3:

#bungou stray dogs #the case study of vanitas #vanitas no carte #bsd #bungo stray dogs #vnc #chuuya nakahara #dazai osamu #vnc vanitas #bsd sigma #a guide to tainted sorrow #soukoku #skk #bsd skk #bungo gay dogs

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pantsaretherealheroes · 7 months

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i love snw so much except for how it's deathly afraid of kirk/spock and has like three different female love interests for spock (jesse james keitel seems to use she/her pronouns, it's not specified as of the end of s1 if her character uses different pronouns)

and when they finally bring kirk in for a cameo they make sure that the characters barely interact (on a star trek show. they were like, you know what people are sick of? seeing kirk and spock meet in a new scenario with new actors. that's boring no original or new fans are interested in that.) and that their interactions bear no tension whatsoever, good or bad. they are indifferent to each other.

even if you don't ship it, and i can't claim to be the world's biggest spirk shipper or star trek fan, their FRIENDSHIP is literally the cornerstone of this whole thing! it's been famous for sixty years, it's one of the (if not THE) most well known elements of this very well known property.

making sure they barely interact or have any memorable moments, making them indifferent?? insane to me. sweaty behaviour. so obviously betraying a fear that anyone might see it not the way THEY want. akiva goldsman i'm coming for you, you've done enough film and tv crimes.

#idk man #like i love chapel! i even love that she and spock have a bit of thing #i love their t'pring and spock episodes she's hot as shit and gets to be mean to him just by being honest #i love the captain angel episode i adore jesse james keitel #i am not a hardline k/s person and i'm not even against what they're doing here with spock #but not doing anything with the first glimpse at an alt-timeline spock and kirk meeting is so dumb and embarrassing for them #their friendship matters!! people might want them to kiss!! deal with it!!#star trek snw #strange new worlds #st strange new worlds #kirk x spock #spirk #star trek

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cosmic-kaden · 7 days

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Murky Waters

Ship: Mills x Kaden

Words: 1,304

cw: Mentions of being dragged under water.

Summary: Finding warmth in a cold place. :3c

If you're not a self shipper please dni ;; I have anxiety. lol

Soft footsteps treaded lightly by the dark murky waters, it was calm for the most part. It would have been almost peaceful if they didn't have to watch their backs every two seconds. They had run low on food and Kaden knew a few spots where they could scavenge for foods that were relatively safe to consume. To be more exact, it was a place to catch fish but before getting to the cleaner water they had to trudge through mud and around murky waters.

Kaden grimaced at all the mud, they hated mud, simply for the fact that it made it difficult to run if they were to be chased by anything. Kaden sighed softly, following behind Mills. The moment of peace was cut short when both Mills and Kaden noticed the once calm waters of the murky lake seemed to have been disturbed and Kaden and Mills froze in place for a moment.

It happened so fast, large teeth lunging forwards out of the water towards Kaden, if it hadn't been for Kaden losing their balance on the slippery mud they would have absolutely gotten bit. Mills was quick to react, quickly turning to try and grab Kaden but it was too late, this monstrous sea creature had sunk its teeth into Kaden's jacket and pulled them back, causing Kaden to let out a yell before they were silenced by the water.

Mills sprang into action, pulling out his weapon and firing into the water where he thought the creature was praying to the high heavens that he hadn't hit Kaden. The water levelled out and it was quiet. Mills held his breath at the silence, finger on the trigger of his weapon, ready at a moment's notice to start firing if the creature was to surface.

Mills jumped, startled by Kaden who had resurfaced with a loud gasp and Mills knelt down by the water surface, holding his hand out. "Come on!" He called.

Kaden swam over and gripped his forearm, using all his strength, Mills pulled Kaden out of the water as they lay flat on their back panting heavily. "C-Could of shot a-at me…j-jackass.." Kaden quipped with a small smile, trying to make light of the deathly situation.

"If I didn't you'd be that things meal-"

Mills helped Kaden to their feet and helped steady them. Mills took note of the fading sunlight and realized they probably wouldn't be able to make it back to their base in time, night was a lot more terrifying than the day. Exhausted and shaken from their encounter Mills and Kaden knew they needed to find a place to rest for the night.

"What about Koa?" Kaden asked, concern etched in their voice.

"She's in a safe spot and I did tell her there was a good chance we'd be gone overnight if things went wrong. She's a smart kid. She'll be okay." Mills knew Kaden worried about her and he wasn't lying, she knew how to handle herself and she was back at a safer place, hardly any threat loomed about the area they had chosen to set up 'camp'

Their footsteps were heavy with fatigue as they trudged through the dense foliage, each step a reminder of the danger they had narrowly escaped. Mills kept a watchful eye on Kaden, silently grateful that they were safe by his side.

After what felt like an eternity of wandering, they stumbled upon a cavern nestled within the rocky terrain. Its entrance beckoned invitingly, offering refuge from the darkness. It wasn't an ideal spot but it was better than resting out in the open with god knows what else roaming around. Together, they entered the cave, their footsteps echoing against the stone walls. Inside, the air was cool and musty and Kaden wrapped their arms around themselves, their jacket long since discarded, it had been shredded from the encounter in the waters.

"It's not comfortable but it'll do." Mills sighed as he scanned the area, it seemed relatively safe as he moved around the hallow cave, placing down his devices that would alert them if there was any danger around.

Kaden settled down in the cave, their back pressing against the stone wall and they sighed, bringing their legs up to their chest, it was cold and it was only going to get cooler once the sun had finally set.

"you okay?" Mills said softly as he picked up his device, giving one final scan around to double-check, making sure they were actually safe for the time being.

"Cold.." Kaden mumbled, their body shivering.

"Well that's what happens when you decide to take a swim" Mills commented, obviously trying to lighten the mood.

"Oh yeah, because I willingly went into that water" Kaden scoffed as they scrunched tighter into a ball.

Mills, placing his device safely back into his bag trailed over to Kaden and sat beside them, his arm wrapping around Kaden's shoulder, gently encouraging them to lean against him much to Kaden's surprise.

"W-What are you doing?" Kaden glanced up at him, meeting his gaze.

"I don't need you dying of cold- We should huddle up and keep warm.."

There was truth to his words, Kaden had been soaked from the water and the cold was almost unbearable for them, they hated being cold- Their body chased the warmth that Mills was emitting and they leaned into him, when they did he wrapped his other arm around them, shifting slightly so they could rest against him.

"I-Is this o-okay?" Kaden shivered, their cheeks dusting a soft pink hue.

"It's fine." Mills rubbed their arm. "Don't worry, we'll be okay here.." Mills on instinct, brushed some wet strands of hair away from Kaden's eyes. "you're shivering.."

"Well, that happens when I decide to take a s-swim.." Kaden echoed his previous words back to him causing Mills to let out a small chuckle.

Gently, Mills pressed Kaden close against his chest, feeling the chill of their wet clothes seeping into his own skin. But despite the discomfort, he held them tighter, determined to share whatever warmth he could offer.

Kaden nestled into his embrace, seeking refuge from the lingering cold. Their body pressed against Mills', seeking out every ounce of heat he had to give. Their skin, damp and chilled, contrasted sharply against the warmth of Mills' embrace. As they pressed closer together, the line between platonic comfort and something deeper began to blur.

As he held Kaden close, Mills couldn't help but notice the way their body fit perfectly against his own, as if they were meant to be intertwined in this moment. His fingers trailed delicately along Kaden's arm, the touch lingering longer than necessary, a silent plea for them to stay close.

In that moment, Mills couldn't deny the surge of emotion that swept through him, a longing that he had kept hidden for so long.

"Mills…?" Kaden hummed softly, nuzzling against him.

"hmm?"

"Thank you…you know… for keeping me warm.." Kaden murmured, their voice soft with sincerity. But in those simple words, there was a hint of something deeper, a sentiment that lingered unspoken between them.

Mills met their gaze. "You're welcome," he replied, his voice barely above a whisper. But beneath the surface, there was a longing that he couldn't quite conceal, a yearning for something more than just friendship but now wasn't the time or place to reveal such feelings.

As they drifted off to sleep, wrapped in each other's arms, Mills and Kaden knew that in each other, they had found something although unspoken they found a companion to share both the joys and sorrows of this journey. Though the future remained uncertain, they took solace in the knowledge that as long as they had each other, they would get through this and find their way home.

tags: @ama-ships || @heatobrienswife || @dragonsmooch || @deathnot-e || @mahitosoulmate

#oh no I'm being gross again! /j #under a falling sky #Mills; 💞#my writing;

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