#despite 2/3 of them no longer being bands

[the-voldsoy]

i love being in small fandoms on here because occasionally something will happen and it gets passed around all 30 people active like an echo chamber

[penkura]

knowing [8/8]

Summary: Sanji knew you were the one the moment he met you.

Pairing: Sanji x Reader

Warnings: None really. Normal One Piece stuff I guess.

Note: I changed my mind, I'm posting this today because I loved this and just can't wait any longer. Thank you all for reading this little fanfic!! I wrote this before I fully finished reading Wano, so it's not 100% accurate at first, but that's fine, this is a fanfic of course. I hope you all enjoy, and I do have another two one-shots connected to this series!

Taglist:

@jzkeisuke | @arcanumlaw

[Ch. 1] ● [Ch. 2] ● [Ch. 3] ● [Ch. 4] ● [Ch. 5] ● [Ch. 6] ● [Ch. 7]

With Big Mom and Kaido defeated, Wano freed from the Animal Kingdom Pirates reign, you were beyond relieved when you'd heard you could all rest. Luffy and Zoro seemed near death, both had just woken up when you'd snuck out with Sanji to another area. He still needed rest more than you, and Chopper had followed along to make sure neither of you did anything to upset your wounds. You'd made it out with a few small burns, some scrapes and cuts, a slightly deeper wound on your abdomen, but Chopper had taken great care of you and gotten you as close to 100% as he could. Sanji too of course, he suffered slightly worse wounds than you did, but the geishas had taken great care of him and he had nowhere near the same battle damage as the other two members of your monster trio. Chopper had instructed him to lay down and rest, which Sanji did, trusting your doctor that he knew what was best, despite his wanting to join in whatever party was being started in the other room. You knew there was no way the people of Wano would let you leave without a large celebration, Sanji would just have to wait for that.

After Chopper left the infirmary you'd walked off to, you gave Sanji a smile while saying something about changing your own bandages real quick. Despite your insistence that it was fine, he looked away while you stripped off your shirt to change your bandages, instead quietly pulling something small out of his pocket to occupy his eyes, wondering if now was the best time or if he should wait.

"What's that you've got there, Sanji?"

Your voice brought him out of his millions of thoughts, making him decide that yes now's the time, before he smiled softly and held it up, making your eyes widen and your mouth open just a bit.

There's no way…no way, right?

"I picked this up in Dressrosa."

"Sanji, you did not."

Sanji grinned at you, nodding happily. "I did! I saw it and…I thought of you instantly."

It was a small ring he held in his hand, a thin silver band with some blue gem on it, perhaps a small sapphire, you weren't sure, but it was very pretty to you anyway. You didn't care for gaudy, showy jewelry anyway, so if this really was an engagement ring, you were all too ready to accept.

Even without a ring you'd accept. You loved Sanji, more than anything. If he had shown up to the women's bunks in his pajamas without a ring at 3am and asked you to marry him, you would accept even then. The middle of battle, though not his style, you'd say yes. An evening after dinner where you'd both drank a little too much and were giggly messes, if he said 'marry me' you'd accept instantly, whether you remembered it the next morning or not.

It didn't matter. You'd marry Sanji no matter how he proposed.

"Maybe I'm crazy, or all that wedding talk because of them got to me, or even us playing husband and wife for the time we did here, but…I'm certain of this." His voice was quiet, even though it was just the two of you at the moment, and it made you start to tear up.

It definitely was crazy. The fight with Kaido and Big Mom had ended just two days ago, you were still surprised Sanji was even capable of walking and sitting up right after his fight against Queen. You half wondered if he suffered a blow to the head that knocked something loose that was making him do this right now.

But really, you knew he hadn't. He was mentally sound, he knew what he was doing.

"Sanji…"

"I'm probably the worst mess of a man you've ever met, I'm worthless really, but I know I love you," Sanji smiled softly while you cried and gladly held your hand out for him to take when he reached out for it, "I don't want to ever again look at another woman the way I look at you. I can't imagine myself with anyone else, married to anyone else, becoming a parent with anyone else, if we're so blessed. Everything that's happened recently just made me more aware of that."

Sanji moved more towards the edge of the bed while gently pulling you closer to him. You couldn't have cared less if he was on one knee or not, it didn't matter to you.

What mattered was that it was Sanji.

You wished you weren't crying, especially when he pulled you down beside him, just to place his forehead against yours and wipe your happy tears away.

"I love you so much, [Y/N]. You mean the world to me and I just want to be with you forever. I wanted to ask you weeks ago now, even when we all met up again in Sabaody…but now feels like the perfect time. Please, [Y/N], will you marry me?"

Trying your hardest to stop crying, you nodded and kissed him, hoping he didn't mind your salty, teary kisses.

"Yes! Yes, a million times yes, my dear!"

Sanji pulled you into a tight hug that you returned, telling you again that he loved you and you responded in kind. You took a few minutes to fully calm down, and once you did, you let Sanji put the ring he'd bought all the way back in Dressrosa on your finger, not at all surprised it was a perfect fit. Of course he knew your ring size, either that or he borrowed one of your rings you wore for fun and took it with him to get the right size.

"A perfect fit."

"Just like us." You smiled brightly at Sanji, which he returned before kissing you again.

Your sweet moment was interrupted when the door to the infirmary almost flew open, and you jumped back up a bit, only to be relieved when you saw it was Zoro, who looked like he didn't know what he was even doing there.

"What do you want, moss head??"

"...looking for Chopper." Zoro's eye wandered over to you, noticing you'd been crying and he looked almost ready to cut down Sanji, until he took in the fact you now had a ring on your finger.

That same ring he'd watched Sanji pick out in Dressrosa.

"Oh!" You nodded, giving a smile. "He left a while ago, said he was going to go check on the Samurai and Luffy!"

Zoro nodded, turning to leave before he stopped and looked over his shoulder at you. "Congrats. If he hurts you, let me know and I'll kill him."

"Zoro!"

"As if you could, moss head!!"

"Sanji, stay in bed!" You pushed him back down when he went to get up, a scowl on his face while Zoro left and closed the door behind him. Sanji started complaining to you about the "stupid moss head" and how he couldn't touch him, but it made you laugh.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh…it's just…it's like a little brother protecting his big sister…that's all Zoro means by it."

Somehow, Sanji understood what you meant when you said that. If his family had been different, he probably would have been the same with Reiju, protective of her when any potential boyfriends or suitors would come to see her, if they ever did considering how their father was. If your lives were different, if you had met under different circumstances, he was sure your biological brothers would be the same.

While he was thinking about it, Sanji barely realized you had crawled into bed with him, until you wrapped your arms around him and hugged him close. He did the same, kissing the top of your head as well.

"I love you, Sanji."

"I love you too."

I can't wait to marry you.

+!+

Once the Thousand Sunny had taken off from Wano, your next destination decided by the log pose, you were determined to be married with your found family as the witnesses. While in Wano, you and Sanji had slipped away to find something like a courthouse, whatever their equivalent was, to get a marriage certificate so you could have a small ceremony on the Sunny. It took a bit of time, but you found a place that processed marriage certificates and got one printed immediately, knowing that technically, as soon as you signed and dated it, you'd be husband and wife.

You hadn't told anyone yet, Zoro would never, you knew that, but you had told Sanji you wanted everyone there and to be married on the ship you called home. He quickly agreed, telling you that he'd do whatever you wanted for the wedding, while thinking it was the best place for you two to get married. You were both absolutely sure your crewmates would be happy for you, they'd all be glad to participate in the wedding and help you two tie the knot.

You also made Sanji promise not to spend so much time on the cake or to make it too big, though you had to give some leeway there due to Luffy. But he promised he wouldn't work on it so much that he was doing last minute touches when he was supposed to be saying his vows to you. You didn't want the wedding to be an extravagant, fancy affair. Just something small and simple with everyone you loved there.

Sanji didn't tell you, though, that he'd talked to Nami and told her you two were engaged and wanting to get married as soon as possible. She was so happy for the two of you that she burst into tears and hugged him, about to run off to find you when he stopped her. He wanted to surprise you with your parents and siblings at the ceremony, and knew your home was an island in the New World, so Nami put the ship on a detour there in the middle of the night when Sanji had a night watch, so no one would have any idea. There were no questions about where the ship was heading the next morning, and Nami was constantly talking about romance and things like that to you, trying to get you to spill your engagement to her. Anything she said you related back to Sanji with a smile, annoying her that you were acting so dense.

It was about two days before your unknown arrival to your home island that Sanji convinced you to tell everyone. You had gone over it multiple times in your head, wondering if it was a good time, before he told you that you'd probably never be ready to tell them, so might as well do so now. When he said that, you ended up agreeing and when everyone was on the deck that night, Sanji told them all you two had an announcement to make.

"You guys aren't gonna leave, are you??" Luffy was so terribly concerned that you and Sanji had chosen to leave the crew, but you quickly reassured him it wasn't anything like that.

"No, no, not at all! We," you took a breath and smiled at Sanji, taking his hand, "We've decided to get married."

"Ahh!"

"And we want the ceremony to be on Sunny in a few days."

"AHH!!"

Everyone was so excited for the two of you! Nami immediately ran over and hugged you, Robin joining her after a moment and both asking to see your ring, where Sanji got it, and what you were going to wear. Luffy laughed a bit and threw himself on Sanji, saying he was glad for the two of you. Brook said something weird about marriage; Franky was crying but patting Sanji on the back; Usopp wanted to know when and how you'd be married without a priest; Chopper said he was very excited for the two of you; Jimbei also gave his congratulations, saying he may not have known you both very long, but you seemed like quite the loving couple, and Zoro, who still viewed you as his sister, reiterated his previous statement of being willing to kill Sanji if he ever hurt you. Before Sanji could argue back at him, Zoro put a hand on his shoulder and congratulated him, causing everyone that heard him to be shocked, and then even more surprised when Sanji thanked him.

The Straw Hats threw a celebration party for the two of you the rest of the night, almost like an engagement party. There was a point where Sanji had slipped away, knowing you were in good hands with Nami and Robin, who were trying to help you decide on a few things for the wedding. He went back to your shared room, picking up the transponder snail you'd bought a while back, and made a call to the Baratie. He didn't let whoever picked up know it was him, requesting to speak to Zeff personally.

"Hey, old man, it's me."

"Sanji? What's this about, calling after heading off two years ago?"

"I…I had some news I wanted to tell you, that's all."

He couldn't see him, but Zeff was a slight bit concerned with how calm Sanji sounded, to the point he made him hold on while he transferred the call over to his personal snail.

"Sanji, you in here?" You had gone searching for your fiance once you noticed he was missing and found him in your room, he waved you over to sit beside him on the bed while he waited for Zeff to get back on the phone. "Who'd you call?"

"Zeff."

"Ooooh." You nodded and took his free hand in yours, Sanji gripping it tightly, nervously waiting.

"All right, what'd you wanna tell me, kid?"

"I'm…getting married in a few days. I just…I wanted you to know."

It was quiet for a bit, and you worried that maybe Zeff was angry that this was the first thing he'd heard from Sanji in over two years, but then heard laughter.

"So! You finally found a girl willing to put up with you, huh?"

You giggled and Sanji smiled.

"I found a girl that's done more than just put up with me."

The two of you stayed on the line with Zeff for a while longer, Sanji's tight grip on your hand loosening after he realized Zeff was truly happy for him. Eventually you decided to let him have his privacy with his true father, kissing his cheek and returning to the party your crewmates were still throwing.

You finally decided you'd get married four days later, the two of you were ready for this step and didn't want anything to interfere, not the Marines or another pirate, nothing.

However, when Nami had said you'd all reached an island to dock at, your breath caught in your throat and you started to tear up when you recognized the pier, despite it being nearly seven years since you'd last been there.

"This…this is my home."

"Yeah," Sanji held your hand and gave you a smile, "I…figured you'd want your family there when we got married, so I asked Nami if we could take a detour. Is…is this okay?"

You looked up at him and smiled brightly, despite the tears threatening to fall down your face. "Of course!!"

Once the Sunny was fully docked, you didn't bother waiting for your allowance from Nami, grabbing Sanji by the arm and dragging him in the direction of your childhood home. None of your crewmates bothered to stop you, they did stop Luffy from following and getting in the way of you introducing your fiance to your family.

To your surprise, your family already knew you were on the way, you figured Sanji had something to do with that as well (you'd be correct if you asked him). Your mom was the first to hug you, telling you how much she missed you and how beautiful you'd become in the last few years. Your dad told you the same, before he and your mom introduced themselves to Sanji, you weren't at all surprised at how easily he won them over despite not being able to ask their permission to marry you.

All your siblings ended up running at you when they knew you were there, and it made you beyond happy to see you had a new sister after all. She was a little more shy around you, but Sanji speaking to her convinced her that everything was all right. Everyone ended up mentioning how they had copies of your wanted poster, your brothers would brag to their friends that their big sister was a badass pirate while your sisters would use that as leverage against the boys in town they didn't like, and it all made you blush and become flustered.

Your parents insisted the two of you and the rest of your crewmates join them for dinner, which you happily accepted and so did Luffy when he heard. Your family gladly accepted your found family, sharing stories and having a lovely time with everyone around.

It got to be a little much for you, you had to step out on the porch for a bit so you didn't get too overwhelmed, Sanji following you a moment later to make sure you were okay.

"You know, sometimes, I wonder what would've happened if I hadn't left."

"Oh yeah?"  Sanji smiled a bit while lighting a cigarette and watching you.

You nodded, sitting down with your legs dangling off the edge of the porch, your youngest sister having followed you and Sanji out the door and now cuddling next to you. She'd opened up quickly and became attached to you and Sanji.

"I wonder if we ever would have met."

"I still would've found you."

"You're sure about that?" You laughed a bit, but Sanji sat down beside you, putting his arm around your shoulders.

"Luffy still would have come to the Baratie and convinced me to join him. We'd still have all the same adventures, and eventually end up here…where I'd find you. And I'd still be attracted to you, and try to get you to come with us, and we'd still end up together."

Humming a bit, you nodded.

"I know you'd still find me."

+!+

The next day was your wedding. You'd woken up early with a bit of happy anxiety, Nami and Robin were already up and ready to help you get dressed and do your hair. You'd ended up buying a white sundress with a [f/c] colored sash around the waist and white flats to make it simple, you never really wanted a fancy wedding dress anyway. Nami took a curling iron to your hair and added some soft curls, while Robin brought you a flower crown your sisters had made overnight for you to wear in place of a veil. Both girls were still beyond excited for you, and Nami kept giving you hugs through the morning. You and her were like sisters at this point, she'd already called being aunt to any kids you and Sanji may have in the future. Having her and Robin with you helped calm your nerves, and you were more than ready to get married to the love of your life.

Sanji, though, was almost a nervous wreck. He'd already gone through half a pack of cigarettes, before he even got dressed for your wedding. You'd told him during the events at Whole Cake Island that you really preferred black suits on him, so he gladly got one specifically for your wedding, choosing a [f/c] colored tie to match with you. He didn't know why he was so nervous, probably the fears that he wasn't good enough for you and wouldn't be able to make you happy were the cause, but he couldn't stop his racing mind. He tried everything but went back to smoking as his stress reliever, worried you'd change your mind at the last second and leave him.

"She's not gonna leave you."

Surprisingly, Zoro was the one to get Sanji to calm down.

"And what if she does?"

"She won't. She wouldn't have agreed to marry you and plan a wedding so quickly if she wasn't sure about it. If she didn't want to be with you she would've rejected your ass all the way back at Alabasta."

"What. How do you know about that?! I thought you didn’t know until Skypiea!"

Zoro rolled his visible eye and smirked.

"You guys weren't exactly subtle back then. Freaking weirdos making out in the kitchen."

Despite Zoro being amused, Sanji knew he was right. If you really didn't love him and were going to leave, you probably would have done so after everything that happened with his family and that attempted arranged marriage. Instead you had stuck by him, giving him a smile and hug when he first told you how much he loved you, repeating it to him every day since you all had left Thriller Bark, telling him even more so after you'd retrieved him from his screwed up family, giving him the time he needed before showering him in hugs, kisses, and constant 'I love you's so he knew you'd never leave him or let him go again, and that you understood what he was doing when he fought with Luffy and 'broke up' with you in front of his brothers and sister. When he told you everything about his childhood, despite your crying and wishing you'd been born in the North Blue so you could have been his friend, you accepted every bit of it, telling him how much his mother must have loved him and you would have loved to have met her. He'd never felt more relieved than when you said his past didn't matter, the things his father said didn't matter. What mattered was that he was Sanji and you loved him. That was the first time he'd cried to you, hugging you and letting you stroke his hair, while he thanked you for loving a “failure” like him.

"You're not a failure. You're Sanji, and you're perfect as you are."

Sanji knew Zoro was right, you'd never leave him. If you did he'd fight to get you back, but he was sure that wouldn't be necessary.

"Yeah, you're right. Thanks."

"No problem. …don't tell anyone about this."

"Wouldn't dare."

+!+

Your wedding ceremony went off without a hitch, several hours ago now, and you and Sanji were finally married. While you were being wed, you couldn't stop smiling and crying lightly, Sanji giving you soft sweet smiles while he held your hands. Your mother, Nami, Franky, and Brook were all blubbering messes, you wondered if they'd actually heard anything the whole time. Your dad was slightly teary, but he'd never fully admit that to you. All your siblings were excited, more so that they were on a pirate ship but your wedding was a nice excuse to be on the ship. Luffy couldn't stop grinning, he was beyond happy for the two of you. Usopp was also slightly teary, mostly because he couldn't believe you two were actually getting married. Chopper was anxiously waiting for when he could have cake, but he had told you when he saw you earlier that day that he thought you looked pretty. Robin smiled, looking at you like you were her baby sister who was getting married and she couldn't have been happier for you both. Jimbei acted as your priest, after you learned he actually could legally perform marriages, you practically begged him to be the one to marry you. He agreed quickly and you were grateful for it. Zoro, always the quiet one, watched without much emotion visible on his face, but those of you who knew him well enough could see he was happy for you.

Of course, you and Sanji were the happiest ones there. Your ceremony wasn't long, it didn't need to be really, just something small to show you were committed to each other, now and forever. When Jimbei pronounced you husband and wife, and said Sanji could kiss you, you had to keep yourself from almost bouncing out of your shoes in excitement. Once he did kiss you, everyone cheered for you, which made you giggle after breaking the kiss and giving Sanji a smile that he returned.

"We're married!"

He couldn't help it, Sanji picked you up and spun you around, he was so happy! You two had gone from awkwardly facing your feelings for each other, to now being deeply in love, and married finally. He set you back down, only to kiss you again, laying his forehead against yours afterwards.

"I love you, ma femme."

"I love you too, my husband!"

"Come on you lovebirds, let's start the reception!"

The reception, which was really just a normal Straw Hat party, went on for several hours. You had to step away at one point to bid farewell to your family, none of whom wanted to see you go but they understood you couldn't stay on your island for more than a few days, and the Sunny would be taking off in the morning.

Sanji noticed quickly you'd disappeared from his side while he was fighting to keep Luffy from finishing off your piece of cake, and when he saw where you were, he put Zoro in charge of keeping Luffy at bay so he could go stay with you.

Your family had already walked off the dock and back into town when you felt Sanji wrap his arms around your waist and place his chin on the top of your head.

"We'll come back someday."

"I know we will."

"And you can always call or write."

You nod, looking up at Sanji with a smile. "This was a wonderful surprise, thank you. It meant a lot to have them here."

Sanji returned your smile, kissing your forehead. "Anything for you, mon amour."

You were about to suggest the two of you slip out and go off to bed, before Luffy shouted your names.

"Come oooonnnn!! The party's for you guys!" Really he just wanted more cake, but Sanji and Zoro had stopped him from having anything more until you had what you wanted.

Grumbling a bit, Sanji pulled away but still held your waist, causing you to giggle a bit and turn around in his hold, putting your arms around his shoulders.

"A bit longer, then we'll go to bed." You whispered before kissing him with a smile.

He sighed but still nodded. "Fine, fine."

Your reception continued well into the night, you avoided drinking too much so you'd remember it not only in the morning but in years to come. Eventually everyone had either passed out or was calmed down enough to start cleaning, refusing any help from you or Sanji and telling you to both go on to bed, with a kind a smile from Robin or Nami but a sly smirk from Franky.

Once you did, you both simply admired each other's ring and how right it felt to have them now. Within a few more minutes your exhaustion was taking over and you took Sanji's hand in yours, snuggling right up next to him, causing him to do the same with you. You'd consummate your marriage another night, but for tonight, all you wanted was to bask in the fact you were married to the love of your life, and enjoy the warmth that came from knowing that you were his and he was yours. Sanji had tried to say something to you at one point, but you were so near sleep you didn't hear him, except for when he chuckled lightly and kissed the top of your head.

"I love you, [Y/N]...in every lifetime and every universe, I'll always love you."

[ladykailitha]

Icarus Part 19

Hey guys! See? I can be consistent some of the time and I promise this one will be out once a week until it's done.

In this one we get the fallout from the last chapter, Vickie takes charge, and Steve and Eddie talk about the cracks appearing in their bands.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18

~

And of course the incident went viral, because there had been someone filming a bachelor party and caught the exchange in the background.

Fans rallied around the band especially when the two dudes could be heard saying the band was making shit up.

And despite Vickie keeping a deft hand on the situation, charges had to be filed. She called the band into the bus, having flown out the night before.

“Right,” she said, clasping her hands and leaning her elbows on her knees. “This was a scary incident and I was able to steer it in the right direction. But if you had told me right after it happened I could have gotten ahead of it.”

The members of the band just looked at her in shock.

“It’s just a problem we’ve always had,” Spence said. “It happens so often it’s just a part of being The Fallen, you know?”

Vickie cocked her head to the side. “You do understand that you’ve come normalize to assault, right?”

Steve let out a shuddering breath. “We knew it was bad. Of course we did. But we thought it came with the price of fame.”

“Famous people have to put up with a lot of bullshit,” she said shaking her head, “but assault is not one of them. They’re people too, they aren’t objects to be used and consumed by their audience and then spat out.”

They all shifted in their seats uncomfortably and avoided looking her in the eye.

“I think we all learned from this experience,” Robin said. “We learned the new hoods work, we learned to tell Vickie when something goes down, no matter how small we think it is or if we think it was handled. Because that’s why I didn’t say anything. Hopper had the guy delete it from his phone so I thought that was the end of the matter, only for it to appear online anyway.”

“And I learned,” Vickie finished, “that as unique as you guys are, you still experience the common problems most famous people have.”

They talked a little bit longer and everyone came away from the meeting feeling better about the incident going viral.

It did have the unfortunate side effect of Eddie being aggressively protective whenever the two bands would go out. Which would be fine, if it was just ‘Abbadon’ he was fiercely protective of, Steve being his boyfriend and all.

But nope.

Because Eddie didn’t want questions about why he was only protecting Abbadon, he went full mama bear. Barking at some chick that got too close to Azrael’s hood when she was flirting with him. Slapping away some guy’s hand that looked like it was going for Astraeus’s mask. He even got between a guy with a phone and Asmodeus. Who looked like the one guy in the band you wouldn’t want to fuck with.

That was when Steve decided to talk to Eddie about. Because they both had security and no one had gotten past Hopper since that first time.

“Hey, baby,” Steve said softly, slipping into the hotel room.

Eddie jumped and almost fell off the bed. “Stevie! Are you supposed to be here?” He scrambled to get back on the bed.

Steve joined him on the bed and slid as close to him as possible. “If anyone asks, I’ll just say you thought you were having a medical emergency but it was a false alarm.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “I think that would cause a bigger stir than me sleeping with an EMT, sweetheart.”

Steve laughed and crawled up onto his lap to kiss him senseless. Eddie let Steve slowly lower him on the pillows as they made out.

“How much time have you got before you’re missed?” Eddie breathed, grinding their bodies together. “I really need you.”

Steve knew they would be taking a huge fucking risk, but he needed his boyfriend, too. He needed be filled up and worshiped. “A while,” he panted into Eddie’s mouth. “I want you to fuck me, please?”

Eddie groaned because that sounded like heaven to him. “Anything for you.”

Steve’s shirt was off and Eddie’s hands instantly came up to his belt to start unbuckling it. Steve sighed at the release of pressure against his zipper as Eddie pulled it down.

“Look at you, honey,” he panted, “you aching for me?”

Steve nodded, pressing his lips together to stop the moan from escaping his lips. Then he stood up and scrambled to get out of his clothes and Eddie took the opportunity to do the same. Soon they were lying together with Steve on top, kissing.

The sex was slow and tender and everything Steve needed in that moment and he felt Eddie did too. Once everything had been cleaned up and they were lying next to each other did Steve speak up.

“I think we have a couple of things to talk about,” Steve murmured into Eddie’s neck. “About Brian and Gareth, and you biting that fan’s head off tonight.”

Eddie sighed and held Steve closer. “I’m sorry about tonight. It’s just after that incident with the assholes and Astraeus, I guess my protective instincts that drove me to pick up lost sheep in high school went into overdrive.”

Steve nuzzled Eddie’s neck. “Which I do get, but let me tell you of the four of us, in character Asmodeus really is the last one you need to defend. He uses his mask as a way to be braver then he is normally and will absolutely knock a guy out and then freak out about it later.”

Eddie chuckled. “I already have a good idea of who’s who, but thank you for cinching for me that Simon is Asmodeus.”

Steve huffed out a small laugh. “Yeah, that one was a gimme, I’ll admit. But who do you think are the other two. You have a fifty-fifty chance of getting it right.”

He thought for a moment, really trying to put all the clues together. “Spence is Azrael and Shane is Astraeus. For the sheer fact that they make the least amount of sense and thus throw people off.”

“Right in one,” Steve confirmed with a kiss. “And yes, that’s why. Our personas are deliberately not like who we are in real life. I play more to my feminine side more as Abbadon because I’m your stereotypical boy next door.”

Eddie huffed out a laugh. “You’re way more than that, sweetheart. But I get what you mean.”

Steve sat up and pulled his knees up to drape his arms around them. “Did you want to talk about what happened with Brian and Gareth about the tour. I kept meaning to bring it up because there would be odd little moments where the tension would suddenly ramp up between you guys and it would be days before it went away. It seems like it’s only gotten worse since we’ve gone on tour.”

Eddie sat up too, and moved away from Steve, crossing his arms sullenly. Steve let him. He knew this was a prickly subject and if Eddie didn’t want to talk he wasn’t going to make him. So he waited him out.

Sure enough a few minutes later, Eddie let out a put upon sigh. “Yeah, okay. It’s gotten so bad Chrissy is talking to the label about what would happen if we broke up on this tour.”

“Jesus Christ,” Steve breathed. “I didn’t realize it was that bad.”

Eddie chewed on his bottom lip and nodded.

“I remember Brian saying he thought not letting Gareth on this tour was wrong,” Steve said, “but that everyone including Gareth disagreed.”

“He made a promise,” Eddie said softly, pulling his knees up to his chest and burying his face between his knees. “No drinking, in therapy, and having actual fucking progress on both the alcohol dependence and the abandonment issues and he’d get to tour with you guys.”

Steve raised a eyebrow. Eddie had said things like this before. That even though Gareth wasn’t a fan of Steve he had posters of Abbadon in his house and especially his studio. As he hadn’t seen it, he had to take Eddie’s word for it.

“And then he went on that bender when no one could find him...” he murmured, remembering that night.

“Yeah,” Eddie let out a shuddering breath, “thank god both Dustin and Gareth are the same flavor of nerd.”

Steve cracked a small smile.

“So he shouldn’t have been able to come,” he reasoned.

“Yeah.”

Eddie gripped his hair as he continued. “It’s in our contract. Everything has to be agreed on by all four members otherwise it doesn’t happen. We’ve lost out on some major opportunities because one of us held out. Did you know that the latest Batman movie wanted to use ‘Jaded Hearts’ for their soundtrack?”

‘Jaded Hearts’ was about a bad break up Jeff had. He thought things were going well, even bought a ring talked to her dad about proposing. And then suddenly she turned around and said things weren’t working out between them and just moved out of state. No rhyme or reason to it, just left.

“I didn’t,” Steve admitted.

“Yeah...” Eddie’s voice cracked on the bitterness of it. “Gareth didn’t want to because he thought it would cheapen its meanihng. While Jeff, the guy that wrote the damn thing was freaking out that they wanted his song in a movie about his favorite super hero.” He grimaced. “Jeff’s still salty about that one.”

Steve’s eyebrows raised. Yeah, he would be too.

“So what was Brian’s reasoning for waiting until Gareth was out of rehab?”

Eddie let go of his hair and let his feet slide off the edge of the couch they were on. “Addiction is a mental illness and we wouldn’t punish any of us for needing physical therapy if we broke a limb or whatever.”

Steve let his eyelids flutter shut. He felt that. He did. Both Simon and he had parents that were alcoholics. Hell, his own mother did cocaine. Addiction was a disease, but not one that should be catered to like that. He opened his eyes and saw that Eddie was curling in on himself slowly but surely.

He grabbed Eddie by the wrist and pulled him into his arms.

“What’s going on with Gareth scares me,” Eddie murmured as he soaked up his boyfriend’s comfort.

Steve let out a deep breath and said gingerly, “I think Shane is a sex addict.”

Because while Shane hadn’t been late since their little intervention, he just got better at hiding his hookups. He figured he was the only one who knew because Hopper and Robin hadn’t said anything about it.

Eddie looked up at Steve, his big brown eyes wide in confusion. “I thought he was getting better at showing up on time.”

“Oh he shows up on time,” Steve muttered darkly. “But sometimes he shows up smelling of cheap cologne and expensive wine, like he hasn’t been to bed yet. And like with you and Gareth, what’s going on with Shane terrifies me, too.”

Eddie snuggled in closer. “Fame is a cruel mistress and she is giving our friends the beating of their lives.”

“I think after this both bands should take some time off,” Steve murmured, “and just be people for a minute or three. Three records in three years is insane for even the most seasoned bands and I think Corroded Coffin could really benefit not being in each others’ pockets for a bit.”

Eddie sighed and really thought about it. He nodded. Even if the other members said no, Eddie was willing to just walk away from it all. Go solo maybe. Because after twelve years of nonstop running he was starting to fall apart.

The only thing that was keeping him sane right now was the fact Steve was by his side and he understood what he was going through.

“Yeah, baby,” he said, “let’s do that. Maybe you and me will travel the world a bit, really see it, instead of a blur through the windows of a tour bus.”

Fuck did that sound perfect. No band, no obligations, just him and Eddie and an adventure of a lifetime.

“Sure thing, rockstar,” he whispered. “Let’s do that. Plan a trip of Europe or whatever and just see the sights for a change. And not just the sites that would be good publicity either. The wacky museums, the weird curio shops, five hundred year old bars.”

Eddie sat up and looked him in the eye. “Wait, what? You’d really be interested in doing that? I mean, I’d love that. But none the guys like that shit. Not like I do and you’d want to do that kind of stuff with me?”

“Of course I would,” Steve said and then kissed him deeply. “I love that kind of shit too. And yeah maybe I didn’t always, but Robin has been a very good influence on me.”

Eddie laughed. It was so free and happy, Steve wanted to bottle it up and keep it for shit days.

“Maybe we should bring her with us,” he said with a grin. “That way people will be less suspicious about you and me going on a trip and reading too much into it.”

Steve let out a sigh, his mood a little dampened by the fact this couldn’t just be a romantic getaway. But then again, he really didn’t want to leave Robin home for that long, either. He kissed Eddie.

“Yeah, Eds,” he said sweetly. “Let’s do that. She’ll love it.”

~

Part 20 Part 21

Tag List: CLOSED

1- @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence

3- @goodolefashionedloverboi @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @irregular-child @blondie1006

4- @yikes-a-bee @bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten

5- @genderless-spoon @y4r3luv @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt

6- @disrespectedgoatman @eyehartart @dawners @thespaceantwhowrites @tinyplanet95

7- @iamthehybrid @croatoan-like-its-hot @papergrenade @cryptid-system @counting-dollars-counting-stars

8- @ravenfrog @w1ll0wtr33 @child-of-cthulhu @kultiras @dreamercec

9- @machete-inventory-manager @useless-nb-bisexual @stripey82 @dotdot-wierdlife @kal-ology

10- @sadisticaltarts @urkadop @chameleonhair @clockworkballerina @garden-of-gay

[yumeka-sxf]

There were two panels related to Spy x Family at Anime Expo this year, with the first on Day 1 being Toho Animation's panel featuring both Spy x Family and Kaiju No.8.

The panel started with the SxF portion, with the special guests being the series director, Kazuhiro Furuhashi, and the CODE: White director, Takashi Katagiri. They also had the six SxF ThreeZero figures on the stage with them 😀

The MC asked them some questions, like what their favorite scenes were from their respective works and who their favorite character is. They also showed behind-the-scenes footage of both the Loid/Fiona tennis match in season 1, and Yor's fight scene against Type F in the movie. We got to see both of these scenes in rough animatic sketch form and then in line art form, which was pretty cool (it wasn't clear if photo/video was prohibited at this panel, but I didn't want to risk it by being caught blatantly recording these exclusive clips, lol). Then they showed off some of Anya's unused outfits from the movie.

At the end, they showed this original illustration by Kyoji Asano, made specifically for this event 😁

And that was it for the SxF part of the panel before they moved on to Kaiju No.8...and to be honest, it kinda overshadowed the SxF part, mostly because it featured two of the main Kaiju No.8 voice actors, one of which was extremely hilarious and charismatic. Plus there were a lot more segments compared to the SxF part. The interview with the guests seemed longer, they did three live voice overs, showed a pre-recorded special message from the band that performs the Kaiju No.8 opening, and then they took a group photo with the audience (and maybe something else that I'm forgetting). It seemed like the SxF part took up about 35% of the panel's time while Kaiju No.8 took up 65%. Not sure why it felt so unbalanced, but it was still fun.

Next was the panel on Day 3 for Production IG and their related studios WIT and Signal MD. Heads of each studio were there, including George Wada from WIT. Photo/video wasn't allowed once the panel started, but it basically consisted of an interview with the different guests, then trailers/teasers for their upcoming projects, then a Q&A session.

WIT is the studio that makes SxF, so I was hoping for any news about season 3, specifically if WIT would be more involved with it than they were with season 2. For those who don't know, season 1 of SxF was made by both WIT Studio and Cloverworks. But when they decided to make both season 2 and the movie in 2023, they split up the work, with WIT focusing on the movie while Cloverworks did pretty much all the work on season 2 (which is why the animation in season 1 and season 2 looks a bit different). According to this tweet, the official staff listing for season 3 is the same as season 2, meaning WIT will once again have little involvement. But despite this, they had a slide during the presentation with the season 3 promo image (preceded by the CODE: White teaser trailer, which made the crowd go wild - glad there were lots of SxF fans in the audience!) George Wada also said in regards to season 3 that they're "working hard on it."

I wanted to confirm during the Q&A if WIT would again take a backseat during season 3's production as well, but unfortunately the panel only had a few minutes left when it was close to my turn, and then they opted to pick a few random people in line for their last questions (which I thought was kind of unfair). Guess we'll just have to wait and see if anything changes with that staff listing once we get closer to season 3's release.

Overall, while Takuya Eguchi's appearance at last year's AX was more fun, it was still cool to attend this year's SxF-related panels as well. Hopefully season 3 will either be airing or close to being released at next year's AX, so we'll have even more SxF events!

[pjsk-story-summaries]

Leo/need Main Story Summary

TL;DR: Though they all were once close, after Tenma Saki's prolonged hospitalization, Hoshino Ichika, Mochizuki Honami, and Hinomori Shiho had drifted away. Despite Saki's attempts, she can't find a way to get them all back together.

One fateful day, the four stumble upon "Untitled" and the mysterious world of SEKAI. Saki asks if they can reform their childhood band, but Shiho and Honami refuse. In the meantime, Saki and Ichika form their own band with the hopes of inspiring the other two to join.

Shiho says she will consider it if they can play a song of her choosing perfectly within a week, but Saki ends up collapsing from overworking when showing their progress. Shiho recognizes both the hard work they've put in and her own love for her friends and joins the band. She also explains that she abandoned them only to protect her standoffish reputation from rubbing off on them.

Honami, however, still refuses. Saki realizes it's probably for the best to leave Honami be now that she's no longer getting bullied by her classmates. Shiho disagrees and confronts Honami. Ichika realizes her true feelings about wanting to be together with everyone and talks to Honami herself, bringing her to the SEKAI to watch the stars. Honami realizes her love for her true friends is stronger than the fear of her bullies and officially joins the band.

Official English Youtube upload / Song (needLe) / Animation

Chapter 0: Ichika reflects on the band she, Saki, Honami, and Shiho had formed for fun as children. She recalls having been incredibly grateful to the others for joining her, and how they all wished to be together for a long time to come. They go watch the shooting stars from a jungle gym. In the present day, Ichika sees Honami out the classroom window, but the latter reluctantly ignores her. The same happens with Shiho after crossing paths in Scramble Crossing. Back home, Ichika notices her phone flash and is transported to the SEKAI, where Miku and Luka introduce themselves. The duo want to help them find their true feelings again, but Ichika doubts it could ever come true. She's then forced out of the SEKAI. All four childhood friends separately watch the stars.

Chapter 1: Ichika encounters Honami in the courtyard, but Honami leaves as another classmate calls her. She again has another awkward encounter with Shiho. Ichika worries the other two might not consider her to be friends anymore. Her fears are interrupted by Saki's arrival as a new student in her class. Saki is as cheery as ever, but ignorant to the dissolution of the former friend group.

Chapter 2: Ichika is hesitant to tell Saki the truth. All four cross paths in the school hallway, but Honami and Shiho both leave quickly. Saki chalks it up to them being busy. Later, Honami talks to some current classmates about Saki's arrival as Shiho walks by. They discuss Shiho's cold personality, but Honami is too scared to admit they used to be good friends.

Chapter 3: Saki takes Ichika around town with her, excited to catch up on all the life she missed while in the hospital. They end up talking about how fun their childhood band was. Saki realizes it's lonely just being her and Ichika. After parting ways, Ichika wants to find a way to have the four of them together like it used to be, but the thought seems impossible. Miku pops out of the SEKAI and asks for her to visit with friends. Ichika is still confused, but agrees that it would be fun to have a band again. The next day, Saki tries asking Shiho to hang out, but she refuses. Honami gets pulled away by other classmates before Saki can ask her. Saki tries to confront Ichika about their weird behavior, but backs away when she fears there might actually be a problem. She asks about Miku instead and finds a strange song called "Untitled" among the playlist, accidentally transporting them into SEKAI.

Chapter 4: The duo search for the mysterious sound of Miku's guitar. They end up running into both Honami and Shiho doing the same. The four find Miku in an empty classroom, along with all their old instruments. Saki begs to play together again, to which they hesitantly agree.

Chapter 5: Ichika and Saki are starting to have fun playing when Shiho suddenly stops them mid-song. She is frustrated with the current skill level of the other three. Miku asks to join in this time, impressing the others with her skill. Secretly, Ichika hopes Shiho and Honami remembering this song means they also might wish to bring the band back. Saki has the courage to say that out loud. Shiho flat-out refuses, and Honami hesitantly denies, both departing the SEKAI. Miku urges Saki and Ichika to not give up on their feelings.

Chapter 6: Ichika reflects on her SEKAI encounter. She truly hopes that reforming the band might bring things back to how they used to be. The next day, Honami and Shiho cross paths in the hallway. Neither know what to think about the SEKAI. Shiho asks if Honami really does harbor such strong feelings about them all, but she's pulled away by her classmates before she can answer, upsetting Shiho. Her classmates still believe Shiho to be rude and sketchy. Honami tries defending her, but denies ever being friends out of fear of upsetting them. This only makes Shiho angrier. Meanwhile, Saki and Ichika have their own discussion about SEKAI. Saki is excited they all have Untitled on their phones, even though she was shot down. Ichika proposes starting a band, just the two of them. Saki accepts, hopeful Honami and Shiho will follow behind.

Chapter 7: Ichika and Saki head back to SEKAI to thank Miku and tell her the news. Luka pops in to introduce herself as well, and offers to mentor the both of them. The Virtual Singers reassure the two that their wish to be reunited is worthwhile, strengthening their resolve.

Chapter 8: Saki and Ichika walk around, grateful for the Virtual Singer's help. Ichika is grateful for Saki's presence, but again doubts her decision to not tell her why Shiho and Honami are so distant. In a flashback to middle school, it is revealed that one day, Shiho decided to completely isolate herself, declining to give any other reasoning than to practice bass. Back in the present, Ichika accidentally runs into Honami buying apple pies. She tells her that she and Saki had started a band and invites her again, but is turned down. Later that night, Honani questions why she turned down the offer yet again. Ichika thinks about how lonely Honami looked in middle school, despite her insistence everything was fine. The current Ichika berates herself for not helping sooner.

Chapter 9: Saki brings Ichika to a music store after school to help her choose a keyboard. They run into Shiho there. Saki begs Shiho to join their band so they can hang out again. Shiho reveals that she had been invited to join a band in middle school, but after arguing over not taking things seriously, she had been kicked out. Shiho gives Ichika and Saki a song to practice, with the promise to join their band if and only if they can manage to play it perfectly by the next week. Later that night, Shiho begins questioning if keeping her distance truly was the right move.

Chapter 10: Ichika and Saki run to tell Miku and Luka the good news, and to ask for help perfecting the song. While practicing, Saki plays Ichika an original melody. She then talks about Ichika's old love of writing song lyrics, and how she hopes to write with Ichika one day. Miku brings the pair to the rooftop to look at the stars. Ichika and Saki chat about their fond memories of watching the Leonids as kids. They're determined to watch the stars as a unit once again. A few days later, Ichika and Saki are ready to show Shiho the song. Honami sees the three of them talking from afar. She thinks her not joining them is for the best, but begins to wonder why it makes her feel so lonely.

Chapter 11: Shiho is impressed with how much Saki and Ichika had practiced. Suddenly, Saki collapses. Shiho regrets asking her to practice so hard, but Saki reassures her it wasn't her fault. Shiho tells Saki how she had kept refusing making new friends in middle school and turned into an outcast. Shiho had distanced herself from Ichika and Honami to protect their reputations from getting tainted, too. Shiho joins the band.

Chapter 12: The next week, Ichika finds Honami standing outside of her classroom to ask about Saki's recent absence. Ichika is glad Honami talked to her normally again. She then reveals Shiho had joined the band and asked her again if she'd like to join, too. Ichika expresses her guilt over not helping Honami when things got rough, to which Honami immediately shuts down. Honami explains how her middle school classmates had often taken advantage of her kindness to vent, which made others mad about her being a people-pleaser. The girls began bullying her behind her back, which began to spread to Ichika. Honami decided to cut ties to protect her. The current Honami is scared that accepting Ichika's friendship again would make the bullying resume. She runs away.

Chapter 13: Ichika, Saki, and Shiho talk about telling Miku and Luka about the new addition. Saki asks if Honami would want to come, too, but the other two doubt it. They proceed to tell her about what they know of Honami's middle school bullying. Shiho is upset with Honami over how submissive she's being, because she knows the true Honami knows how to stand her ground. She doesn't understand why Honami is giving up like this. Saki realizes it's probably best to give up on getting her to join the band to avoid causing her any trouble with her classmates.

Chapter 14: Luka notices Ichika's worries over the Honami situation. Luka tells Ichika that "there is no right or wrong in music",- there's no one right decision here, and that they should follow their hearts. Saki decides to tell Honami that they'll leave her be and apologizes for the trouble. She returns to Ichika and Shiho, but begins crying. She's sad about leaving her friend, but knows it's the right decision. Later, Ichika and Shiho discuss the matter, to which Shiho reveals how wrong it feels.

Chapter 15: Shiho confronts Honami in the hallway. She questions if this is what Honami really wants, and if she really cares about Saki's feelings at all. She calls Honami out for only caring about herself. Honami knows she hurt Saki, but she's terrified of being bullied again. Later that evening, Shiho runs into Ichika and regrets the harsh things she had said to their friend. Ichika praises Shiho for her determination. Shiho returns the compliment over Ichika's rationality.

Chapter 16: Ichika, Saki, and Shiho walk around after a productive SEKAI session. After Shiho departs, Ichika and Saki talk about how nice it is to have her back. Back home, Ichika reflects on how much she's changed since she was younger, and how powerless she feels when it comes to helping Honami. Suddenly, she finds an old notebook of song lyrics and gets an idea.

Chapter 17: Ichika goes to SEKAI for help. Miku realizes Ichika has found her true feelings: she loves her friends more than anything and wants to play with them again. Ichika realizes the star chart on the chalkboard must represent Honami's true feelings, too. The next day, Ichika asks to meet Honami after class.

Chapter 18: Ichika brings Honami over to the SEKAI's rooftop to show her the stars. They talk about their fond memories of the past, and how the stars always looked brighter because it was the four of them together. Ichika asks if Honami wants to be friends again. Honami is still scared of her bullies, but realizes just how much her true friends matter to her and berates herself for being so selfish. She really does want to be back with them. Saki and Shiho run over with Miku and Luka to congratulate her.

Chapter 19: Honami apologizes for distancing herself because of her lack of courage. She thanks Shiho for what she had said and officially joins the band. Untitled flashes and forms into a song: needLe.

Chapter 20: The next day, Honami tells her classmates about the events of the past few days. They're genuinely happy for her and the new band. It was a lot easier than she had feared. (Saki, Ichika, and Shiho watched from the window.) Later, the four of them discuss their band name. They all come up with the name "Leo/need", after the Leonid constellation, the slash of a shooting star, and how each member is needed in the group. In SEKAI, Miku and Luka watch a shooting star pass overhead.

Card Stories: Ichika / Saki / Honami / Shiho

Virtual Singer Chapter 1 (Pre-Chapter 0): Miku practices guitar on her own, hopeful the others will meet them soon. She wonders if she should start acting more like a senpai would, but isn't sure what exactly that entails. She decides that it means doing what Luka would. Miku tries it out, with little success. Luka comes in and questions what Miku is doing, reassuring her that she's always here to support in whatever way she can. Miku asks Luka what "senpai" means to her. Luka believes it's all dependent on the people around her.

Virtual Singer Chapter 2 (After Chapter 5): Miku waves Ichika and Saki goodbye after the first practice session. She trusts their resolve to bring them back together. Luka enters, having let Miku take the lead to introduce herself as a proper "senpai". She's proud of the hard work Miku had (secretly) been putting in for this day. They reflect on how each member's sound was hiding a piece of their personality within: Ichika's determination, Saki's joy, Shiho's distance, and Honami's fear. They banter a bit about the senpai role before practicing once again.

Virtual Singer Chapter 3 (After Chapter 14): Luka talks to Ichika about the latter's concern over Honami, and Miku Saki's. Miku reassures Saki that she's proud of her for considering Honami's feelings when deciding to leave her be. In the meantime, Luka and Ichika had finished their conversation and came over. Luka talks about how Miku has been working hard to become a proper senpai to the others, much to her embarrassment. They're certain Honami will realize her true feelings eventually.

Virtual Singer Chapter 4 (After Chapter 20): Miku and Luka discuss their feelings over the new Untitled song and the band's formation. Leo/need pop in and ask if they'd like to join a session, to which they happily agree. Saki talks about how they want to start writing their own songs and hands them Ichika's lyrics. Despite Ichika's embarrassment, they find them to be cute and sincere. Luka comments on Miku's excitement to be with the girls as their senpai.

[manzaza]

perirep with airpods promoting mY WHOLE REVIEW OF THE NEW WISH SOUNDTRACK BECAUSE OHHHHH MY GOD IT GOES SO SO SO HARD (under cut feel free to listen here (also on apple music + yt do in fact give it a listen please yay) !!)

theme song (all the singing songs)

— although i can never truly let go of the og the new theme song will always be a bop

— so upbeat, so happy !!!

new yorkity york

— hazel’s va is such an amazing singer PLEASE if there’s a season 2 give them a musical episode there are not enough musicl numbers

party possum’s friendship song

— better than the chuck e cheese one i heard in the theater earlier lollllllll

— the live band version ate i liked the difference

— unhinged version was so fun the nickelodeon drummer ate up

lovely love song

— still haven’t watched this episode (i was shopping when it aired oops)

— hazel was so silly idk what happens i just remember cupid being there (idk if he was in this at the end that might’ve been hazel’s dad)

i love fries

— HAZEL’S VA SLAYING AGAIN !!!!!

— banger song so real live laugh love fries

— cosmo + wanda contributed yay let them sing

time loops

— addiction,,,,, brainrot even,,,,,,,,,

— cosmo and wanda singing yayyy !!!

— the actual little yay at the end was so silly got a good chuckle

proud of my son — dubstep remix

— this was actually the funniest thing to watch i had this episode pulled up in a panera’s and i was just staring at it like “bro just took over the world for THIS”

— dev is ten so it does make sense

— almost

a new wish (yay background music !!)

— i love all the jazz in the ost just soooo so good

— reminds me of a sam and max kinda intro

— listening to this + the rest just makes me want a video game for ANW so so bad it would genuinely be so much fun to play (will genuinely plot out a tumblr post for this idea)

fly hazel

— banger warmup vibes in the intro

— love how some of the insteuments give like a fly-feeling gimmick (cause she’s a fly)

— little intro chord at the very end eats up

teacher’s pal

— might be one of my fav tracks

— nickeloxeon pianist and saxophonist are eating uppp

— 1:15 was so good

— nickelodeon symphony when

fearless

— somewhat out of place but still fits in with the show vibes

— very lurking

— fnaf 3 am jumpscare (idk i see more poppy playtime in this despite never watching or knowing anything about poppy playtime

— very cheerful kinda scary at the end (yay jasmine!!!)

wellingston hotel

— i rlly like hotel music play this at a marriott hotel NOW

— still haven’t seen this episode (i’m dying to watch it i need to see winn’s introoooo)

— sudden rich person music change

— love you nickelodeon saxophonist !!!!

dev dimmadome

— classic dev intro

— 0:54 is so cruel just label this project h whyyyyyyyy

— just sheer pain in the middle but then they remebered at the end “oh yeah he’s ten”

— it gets so intense at 1:30 broooooo

fairy heist

— i love spy music

— little dev-ness in the middle with the certain gimmick in his track (i might be crazy for this one but idk the “waeahwow” reminded me of something from his track + i think this was in the breaking into school scene idk)

prime meridian love

— literal anime ost

— eats with the dramatic intro

— it faintly reminds me of an ok ko track but just slightly at the beginning of some of the melodies idk might be crazy for this one too

peri and irep

— no way.

— actually no way.

— ship interacts once and they get their own song.

— the twist at the beginning of the track was so hype like the beat is just constantly at odds during this song (and because i’m just like that i have the track times put down too when they swap)

— to not make this any longer the noticeable parts after their intros are like 0:50–1:02 is peri-sounding and then 1:03–1:18 is irep-sounding and from then on their themes are always at a clash with more differences spotted at the end

— will say i love irep’s part at 0:32 and 1:03 that’s so funnnn ahh

— the little villainous laugh at like 1:50 was silly

— the little theme at 3:00 ahhh !!!!!

— might be another fav……. yeah def another fav my airbuds says so

viozalea

— feels so medieval at first and i love it

— quick just like viozalea’s appearance (rip)

rattlleconda

— fire western theme

— still in character with the show the beat was firee

— the soft violin gahhh sheer joy

— intense pressure put on at the end ate

love and games

— rock paper scissors core

— me when rock paper scissors

— wait i actually never watched the valentines episode

— uhhhhhhh second half might be rock paper scissors

— BANGS

— love u Nickelodeon drummer

battle of wands (FINALE)

— shut up this is too glorious of a melody

— ok intense

— oh might’ve just hit one million wishes idk how this song is following the episode

— the chaos in the rhythm eats

— littlt theme at 2:30 aghhhh won

— peri lying dead right after again idk how the episode paces through songs i can spot little scenes here and there

— banged

— little clock beat ahh the happiness

— can’t even tell what happened but good finale

OVERALL i really enjoyed the soundtrack i love how it tries and takes you through the course of the episode and it’s so so fun!! almost feels like video game music sometimes which is so so good for them like YES drop a new wish video game it would be so good !!!!

[kaxenart]

Kaxen's BJD Hardcap Wigmaking 2024 Version

Pros of hard wig cap style:

The best method for short hairstyles (and I am a masochist who loves short swept-back hairstyles)

Are you the kind of person who gets tilted over lace front wigs having a line of extra net or not fitting your doll's forehead? This wig will fit and you can chop the wig cap even closer.

I hate hand sewing, so I never do sewn wefts with soft wigcaps, and sewn wefts don't work well for exposed hairlines so GLUE, GLUE, BABY.

Cons of hard wig cap style:

This wig will not fit on another doll unless it's maybe from the same company or has a really generic head-shape

Tools

Nonstick mat - Michaels sells Messy Mats which are very thin but stiff film mats that are nonstick. Silicone mats for pet bowls are often very cheap! A lot of craft-specific silicone mats have more price mark-up despite being the exact same thing.

Silicone spatula - for spreading glue. Just the generic silicone tools are fine. Comes in different sizes.

Glue of choice - Different glues react differently to different fibers and different colors. Pick whatever you like that has a slight flex to it and is waterproof once it's dry. If you prefer to style hair with high temperatures (especially the boiling water method), pick something that will resist high temps.

Glues I personally hate passionately: Beacon Adhesives Fabri-tac.

Why Fabri-tac sucks:

Smells terrible

Warps over time, wigs have literally stopped fitting the doll it was for

Rock hard when dry, literally the worst option for fabric???????????

Glue bottle cap always gets fucked up and useless.

Like jesus christ just get some fray check if you need fabric glue

Slicker brush: No matter how thorough you are with glue, you will have loose fiber. Comb it out. Buy two if you want to be able to have a poor man's wool carder so you can re-align fibers and use them later. WHY ARE WOOL CARDERS SO EXPENSIVE?

Fibers -

Suri alpaca: Very fine strands, low gloss, can use hair irons on it

Tencel: very fine strands, high gloss, can use hair irons on it, plant-based. Great for 1/6 scale and Anime Bullshit hair

Viscose (not pictured): very fine strands, high gloss, crinkles like hell if it gets wet, can use hair irons on it, plant-based

Silk (the silver wig lower down the post): very fine strands, high gloss, can use hair irons on it

Mohair: medium strands (thinner if it's kid mohair), high gloss, can use hair irons on it. Various levels of curly.

Synthetic: medium strands, high or low gloss depending on what you get, ymmv on hair irons check before hand how much temperature it can handle. Already made of plastic so plastic-y glue doesn't make it look weirder. Comes in the longest strands.

Wool roving (not pictured): fine strands, no gloss, doesn't really look like straight hair, but works well for styles like dreads.

Acrylic yarn (not pictured): fine strands, gloss level varies, cheap, but you pay in "spent all afternoon unraveling yarn to brush it out" MICROPLASTICS BAD.

I looked at combed mohair prices and it made me scared. How much fiber do I need?

1/3 heads (8-9in circumference): 1/2 oz is a comfortable amount for shorter styles and more the longer the hair will be

1/4 heads (6-7.5in circumference): 1/4-1/3 oz.

1/6 Mature tinies (3in circumference): 1/4 oz, the usual minimum order, will be a ton

Processing mohair yourself is cheaper, but it's a lot of cleaning and combing.

Making the wig base

Fabric base: sheer woven fabric or thin stretch fabrics (pantyhose, mesh hair nets, etc) in a color that does not clash too much with the skintone of your doll

The smaller the doll and the shorter the hair style (especially exposed hairlines!) the thinner you want to go to avoid seeing the wig cap too easily.

Cover the doll with plastic wrap, tighten the fabric as much as possible to mold to head, spread glue around so fabric will stay in this shape.

Putting rubber bands around ears helps shape.

Putting the fiber on

I'm pretty sure preparing wefts beforehand by gluing them on a nonstick mat and then cutting off pieces to stick on the wigcap is easier for exact placement, but I think that takes too long, so I just glue that straight on the wigcap.

I prefer not to use sewn wefts because I don't like that chunky line.

Work back to front and/or wherever the hair parts.

Hold up a small lock of hair and then use the silicone tool to swab a lil glue on it.

The smaller the doll, the smaller bundles you want to add the hair in so the bulk level isn't too crazy. Not as big of a deal for 1/3 scale dolls, the biggest deal with 1/6 dolls.

Hairline and hair parting methods

Rooting

I use the rooting tool from Dollyhair (but you can basically use any small hand tool with an adjustable chuck that can hold the rooting needle)

Pros:

Imitates growing hair

More versatile in styling options if you root a large sections of the wigcap because then the hair can flow in different directions without exposing which way it was glued

Cons:

Slow, the more realistic you want to go, the smaller each root plug should be. I use size 8 or size 6 needle on 1/3 dolls, but I could probably go smaller.

Tiny bits of hair and glue inside the gap may affect the fit of the wig cap.

Takes three billion years to dry the inside because you will swab glue on the inside of the wigcap and then smoosh the wig cap against plastic wrap on your doll's hair to keep the wig cap properly molded to your doll's head

Works terrible on mature tiny 1/6 wigs

TTRPG Mini Grass Style

Pros:

Fast, just put a daub of glue and slap a tuft on

Hair can be pushed in multiple directions without looking awkward

Cons:

Harder to do with longer hair and thicker fibers, may just tip over before the glue dries. Works better with short suri alpaca or tencel than mohair

Fold Over Method

Pros:

Easy!

Can hide wigcap edges

Cons:

Not realistic

Works worse with stiff fibers that may not lay flat after being folded over (may need heat treatment to work)

Ugly glue zone

Chopping the wig open to cram in fibers where the hair parting is

Pros:

Less ugly glue zone than the foldover method

Cons:

Margin for error for not warping the entire wig cap is not great! More risk than the rooting method.

Wildcard showing up with a steel chair! (mostly because this doesn't really need a separate post)

Flocking + painted edges

Pros:

Fast, swab on the adhesive and shake a ketchup bottle of fiber powder on it.

Useful for shaved hair

Cons:

Well, now you have Craft Herpes (glitter, fiber dust, y'know how it is...)

Not all doll sculptors have very flush headcap boundaries

Gotta redo the face-side of the flocking whenever you want to change the face-up

[daisyblog]

Chapter 3: Evie

Show Me Love Summary

Trigger warnings:  18+, anxiety, strong language, undiagnosed/struggling with learning difficulty

< Chapter 2

Evie

Monday morning had to be the worst part of the week. After a two day break, it seemed like a tease that the alarm was going off again. But I suppose a 10am start was better than 9. Despite Friday night being a little rocky with me drinking myself to the point of needing Harry's help, and bed, the weekend had been nice. 

Harry and I went to the bands night, and it was the most fun I'd had in a while. We talked, laughed, danced and sang our hearts out. I liked him before Saturday night, and the way he allowed me to be myself just made me fall a little more. We'd been messaging back and forth since and I was enjoying whatever was happening right now. 

It was tempting for me to lay in bed longer and scroll through my phone. But I fought the urge to look at what others were doing with their morning, and concentrated on what I was doing with my own. 

I used the time to self-care. I'd showered, washed my hair using my new products that Bella had recommended to me. My hair was grateful to be left down and loose, instead of being thrown up messily on top of my head due to the lack of time I had. 

The autumn weather outside had me opting for some dark grey trousers, paired with a white t shirt and layering with a grey jumper over the top. Being loyal my black trusty converse were chosen. Before picking up my bag, my favourite Zara perfume was sprayed and for once I felt prepared. 

I was alone in the flat this morning. Bella had stayed with Zayn over the weekend, and Lily explained she was going into uni early to study ahead of her exam this week. Checking the time as I walked down the street, I was pleasantly surprised to see it was only 9:40. 

Placing my earphones in as I walked, the sound of The Kooks playing into my ears, caused me to a skip in my step. 

"She moves in her own way". I mumbled the lyrics to myself, before noticing I had nearly reached the building. 

I felt like I had only just lived this moment as I entered the building and climbed the daunting stairs, taking my earphones out and making my way to the class. 

Walking down the long hallway, I manoeuvred through the groups of students who were lingering around. Reaching the classroom door, I stopped in my tracks as I was greeted with an empty room and no life in sight. 

I pulled my phone out from my pocket and quickly sent a message to Niall, checking that we did have a class this morning. The sound of my phone, broke me from my thoughts. 

Niall:  The class got cancelled about 10 minutes ago, we had an email. Me and Harry are in the library, come and join us! x 

I thought about avoiding the library and heading back home, and wasting my day with extra sleep and possibly watching reruns of Friends. But knowing Harry was there, it was tempting for me. 

I scanned the room that was filled with rows of bookshelves, there were other students scattered around as they studied. I was about to give up looking, but then I spotted them tucked away in the corner, both talking as their fingers typed away on the keyboards. 

Niall noticed me first, he wore a big smile on cheeks as I walked towards them. "Green girl!". His accent dragging the 'i' out, making a few people turn to see who was making the noise. 

"Horan boy!". I mocked, as I placed my bag down on the table and pulled out the chair beside Harry. I could sense his eyes on me as I felt the ripple through my stomach. "Hi!". 

Harry wore a slight smirk as he watched me sit down next to him. "Hi!". There was an atmosphere between us and I secretly liked it. The thrill of knowing something was happening but still being kept in the dark. 

After pulling out my notebook and a few pens and highlighters from my bag, I glanced at Niall and took a double glance when I saw his eyes squinting as he looked between Harry and I. 

"Why are you looking at me like that?". I questioned, feeling a little insecure as his eyes burned into mine. 

"What the fuck was that?". He questioned us, but Harry's attention never left his laptop as he carried on typing. "Hi!". Niall mocked us. 

"It's a way of saying hello Niall...you know when you greet someone". I sassily replied, a tad of attitude in my voice. Harry rubbed his finger under his nose as he tried not to reveal his smirk. 

Niall folded his arms as he sat back in his chair. "Pfft!...what do you think I am...stupid?". I raised my eyebrows in banter, knowing Niall and I had the friendship to do so. "You two went out last night...so what's going on?". 

I didn't give Harry a chance to find his voice. "Oh waw...a boy and girl hung out by themselves once...that must mean they're fucking". Harry must have been surprised by my bluntness because he choked on his breath and coughed into his hand. 

"Nobody said anything about fucking Green...but the tension between you two...waw!". Niall playfully bit back, as he gave me a knowing grin. "I'm watching you two". 

"What are you both doing anyway?". I gestured towards their laptops as I could see a few documents open on Harry's screen. 

"We have an assignment due in a couple of weeks for the marketing module...so we're starting it early". Harry took a break from typing to explain to me, stretching his arms up exposing his lower tummy. I looked away quickly not wanting to be caught starting at the ink. 

"Sounds like another all nighter for me the day before". I picked up the pink highlighter and began to doodle on the notepad laid on the table. 

"And you still manage to get a high mark!". Niall complimented, before continuing. "Imagine if you started now, you'd get like an eighty or higher". 

At the conversation turning to talk about my grades, my right leg began to bounce in anxiety as it reminded me of the many conversations my parents had with me. 

"Believe me..I wish I could motivate myself to just get the assignments done early but I can't concentrate". I was honest. I'd tried to start assignments early in the past and I'd end up getting distracted by a sound outside or scrolling through Instagram, and by the time I'd noticed I'd lost interest in it. 

"Perhaps set yourself a challenge...for every hundred words you write...give yourself a break or watch your favourite series for half hour". Harry suggested next to me, Niall nodded his head in agreement. It sounded like a great idea, but the reality of it would be I'd give myself the reward without writing any words. 

"I suppose...I just haven't got the will power". I dramatically laid my head and arms on the table in defeat. 

"I can help you, if you'd like". Harry suggested with a shrug, like it was nothing and not him offering to give up some time to help me. My eyes stared in happiness, the thought of someone wanting to help me without strings attached was a new feeling for me. 

"Oh for fucks sake, will you two just fucking kiss and get it over with!". Niall moaned as he threw a crumpled up piece of paper at Harry. 

Harry picked the ball of paper up and playfully threw it back and hit Niall on his head. "Fuck off Ni!". I rolled my eyes, still drawing doodles on the paper in front of me, thinking how I should have been tucked up under my duvet watching Friends. "Ever heard of being kind and helping others?". 

"I have...so let's go and get some lunch before you two end up eating each other". I watched as he closed his laptop lid and placed it in his rucksack, Harry following suit. "C'mon Green...you're coming too". 

I locked eyes with Harry, as I quickly rushed to put my notebook and pens into my own bag not wanting to keep them both waiting. But catching me off guard and earning a blush on my cheeks was when he leaned down to whisper in my ear. "Good thing he doesn't know about us cuddling". 

My head spun around and was grateful that Niall was already walking ahead of us. Not wanting to be the centre of more teasing. 

---

Friday had appeared quickly and as much as the week had been quiet, I was glad to see it arrive. Bella, Lily and I had planned a girls day for tomorrow and I was excited to spend some time with them both. 

Harry and I had been texting back and forth most of the week. The conversation had moved on from just talking about music and sending each other songs that we wanted the other to listen to, and it felt like we were getting to know one and other. 

Whenever my phone pinged, I was like an excited teenager again grinning at it because my crush had replied to me. But as soon as the excitement came, so did the overthinking. Was Harry just texting as a friend? Did he feel sorry for me? Does he even want to talk to me or is he too nice to not reply? The thoughts circled me and it was hard to push them away. 

The sound of my phoned pinged as I laid on my bed, I picked it up expecting to see Harry's name but instead I'd been added to a group chat. 

SQUAD Bella, Lily, Evie, Zayn, Louis, Harry, Niall, Liam

Bella💕 This GC should have happened a long time ago!! Hi besties! Me and Zayn are thinking of going to mini golf tonight, any of you bitches fancy it???

Lily🌸 I'll come!💜

Louis T Oioi! Count me in lads!! 

Liam P I'm going home this weekend, got a family party. But have fun!!

Niall Boring Payno!! Can't wait to show you all how it's done ⛳️ 

Evie Yesssss!🥰

Harry I'll be there! 

Bella💕 Sucks to be you Li! Maybe next time?!✌🏼Great, I've booked it for 7pm xx

I checked the time at it was already 5:07, meaning I needed to hurry and get ready. Usually I'd throw on some jeans and t shirt for a last minute plan, but tonight I wanted to impress a green eyed man, with curls. 

I pulled my loose off grey mom jeans from the hanger along with a long sleeved black top, that was slightly cropped and my black and adidas trainers screamed at me to be worn. I added a slight wave to my already curled hair and tidied up my make up from earlier. Adding a bit more blush to my pink cheeks and some lip balm to my lips.

I couldn't help but wonder where Lily was. I knew Bella was over at Zayn's, so she would probably meet us there. I wondered down the hallway of the flat and coincidentally Lily walked out from her room. 

"Ooo Evie! You're looking hot girl!". Lily's voice went high pitched. I looked down at my outfit and for once I felt good in my skin. I liked how I looked and I was happy with my outfit choice. 

"Says you! I love that jumper!". Lily was wearing a loose black jeans that hugged her figure nicely, and paired it with a Nike hoodie and her black converse. 

Our front door unlocking caused me to turn with worry. But seeing Bella was a relief. "Oh good you're ready...come on we'll all walk together". 

The place was a short walk away from our flat and I couldn't stop my eyes from sneaking glances at Harry as he walked alongside Louis and Niall. He was wearing a simple outfit, a black jumper and black trousers and his feet covered with the same trainers as mine. His hair was pushed back with a slight wave to it.

I was always distracted, but lately I felt like my only distraction was Harry. He was always on my mind, or if he was near my eyes would find him instantly. 

"Evie?". Bella's chirpy voice broke me from my thoughts and my eyes tore away from Harry as they found her walking now slightly in front of me and Lily. "Did you hear me? Maybe we could go back to the pub for a few drinks after golf? Nothing crazy, just a casual drink".

"Yeah...uh yeah sounds good to me". I tried to keep with the conversation that was bouncing between Bella, Zayn and Lily right now, afraid they would notice my attention was occupied by something else. Or someone should I say.

Once we were at the golf venue, Bella got everything organised with the lady behind the counter who placed us into two groups. Bella, Zayn and Lily being one. Niall, Louis, Harry and I being the other. 

The room was slightly dark, the only light were from the LED lights that were scattered around to cause the glow in the dark effect. 

From the first few rounds, I had become the entertainment for the boys, in particular Niall and Louis as it was evident that I could hit the golf ball everywhere other than in the hole. 

I watched as Niall took his turn, he held the club in his hands and softly swung it so it hit the white ball gently. My eyes followed it as it rolled with ease and landed in the hole further away. 

"Well that's what I'm fucking doing, but it just goes the other way". I explained, frustration in my voice and starting to get irritated with the game. I was close to giving up and just watching the others. "This game is rigged...the three of you are cheating or something!". 

"It's not rigged...I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself". Louis tried to explain as he stood in the spot ready for his turn. "Just relax before you swing". Once again, the ball swiftly landed in the hole. 

I found Harry's eyes, knowing it was my turn next. "You can take your go...I give up". I had already made my mind up, I'd rather watch the others have fun than drain them from it. 

"Oh c'mon Green! We're not letting you give up". Niall gave me a look, one I knew that he was serious. "Give it another try". 

"I'll help you". Harry walked over and began to show me how to hold the club. "Place your hand here..and the other one further down". I moved one hand to the top of the club and the other slightly down like he had explained. 

"So what do I do now?". I asked, not wanting to move incase I messed my position up. 

"Now just swing". Niall spoke up as he and Louis stood next to each other. 

"Gently!". Louis added. 

I looked down at the ball that laid still on the spot, waiting for me to make my move. But two hands appeared from behind me, landing on top of my own. My back had company as I felt him stand behind me. My senses were weighed as I could feel his hands on mine and the smell of his vanilla aftershave filled my nostrils at how close we were. But the sound of his voice in my ear, made my heart beat with extra rhythm. 

"Slowly bring the club up and then gently hit the ball". His voice tickled my neck as he spoke into my ear. I could feel my once tense shoulders ease as he swung our arms together. I watched the ball slowly roll, and just like that it disappeared into the hole.

I felt a sudden wave of coldness as he took a step back, but as I turned to face him I was met with a slightly smirk. But before I could process that Harry had helped me to put the ball, Niall picked me up and cheered. "SHE DID IT! WOOHOOO!".

I couldn't hide the smile that filled my face as Niall put me back down. But I was aware that his loud voice and the sound of excitement had caused others to stare. 

"Who knew a little cuddle from Styles was all she needed to relax". Niall playfully gripped Harry's shoulder, almost praising him. "Imagine what a kiss could do". 

"Alright that's enough!". Harry stopped the teasing as Niall and Louis shared a glance before they walked on to the next round. 

I looked up at Harry's taller frame as we walked together. "Thank you..for you know...helping". Suddenly I felt conscious that others had seen another side to us. 

"Anytime love...I keep to my promise of helping you". The large smile on Harry's face was full of truth and that's all Evie needed to hear right now. 

---

The walk to the pub involved Niall, Louis and Bella bickering back and forth at who won, who was the best at golf, how they were going to be a team next time and see who the real winner was. If I was being honest, after listening to the three of them I was ready for the drink that sat in front of me on the table.

Tasting the fruity cider run down my throat was relief from the warm atmosphere of the pub. I glanced around the table, but instantly frowned when I noticed Harry was missing. 

"He's gone to the toilets". Niall spoke from the seat next to me. I cursed at myself because was it that obvious that I was looking for Harry. 

"I don't know what you're talking about". I pretended not to know who he was talking about. Not that it worked because Niall saw right through me. 

Niall chuckled to himself as he lifted up his Guinness to his mouth to take a sip before putting it back down in front of us. "Starts with H and ends with Y". 

"Happy?". The sarcasm was dripping from my mouth, as I turned to face Niall properly. His arm reached around to sit behind me, a friendly gesture that had no other meaning to it. 

"That's what you will be if you let your guard down and give Harry a chance". His once teasing tone had been replaced with a gentle and serious tone. "Have fun Eves...you deserve it". 

I thought about his words, I was always overthinking and thinking the worst case scenario. But for once I needed to take the plunge and dive in deep and like fate, Harry walked back towards our table.

---

Taglist:

[cinnamonrollsledge]

Episode 9 of The Pacific needed to be at least 5-10 mins longer. Here's why...

1.

We needed a scene addressing the massive wedge of tension that grows between Sledge and Snafu

There was already some friction there, w/ Sledge becoming increasingly distant and surly as he slid further toward the deep end. Then, the two of them fall into a screaming match- which, as we know, also leads to Peck's mental breakdown, and Hamm's death.

Then the next day, the two of them find the baby and its family who was killed (probably by them).

Afterwards, Snafu, who's clearly noticed Sledge's changed demeanor, stares at him for literally the rest of the entire scene.

Yet all of this never leads to anything, and it's just left as a loose end.

Who knows, maybe IRL the two men never actually sat down and talked about it. But this is a television show. You aren't supposed to put the main characters through multiple consecutive soul-crushing experiences together and then never have any acknowledgement of it whatsoever between them.

2.

We needed another moment(s) to re-affirm the growth in both Sledge and Snafu’s characters

After all of the emotional turmoil they just went through, there needed to be something to follow up, and to show how it & the events of the episode have changed them. Instead, we just get both of them just staring silently.

But that isn't enough. We're not mind-readers, nor should we have to be.

A few lines of dialogue in that last scene with the two of them in the back of the truck would've gone a long way. Maybe Snafu burying his collection of gold teeth? Or something as simple as the two of them helping an Okinawan refugee pick up something they dropped? (IDK just throwing out ideas here.)

3.

We needed another scene(s), &/or discussion of the final days of the Battle for Okinawa, and afterwards

The show transitions to the final scene by showing Sledge's tally-marks of the days in his journal, indicating that several weeks have passed since the previous scene.

Last we saw, they were on the front lines of the battle and covered in mud, grime, and blood. Now they're clean and fluffy, and watching the ocean while lounging around in the sun.

So clearly a lot has happened and changed for them, but why don't they show us anything, or even have them talk about it?

What about the aftermath from the events of the previous scenes? Or the relief they must've felt after combat ended? What about the dread of an impending invasion of mainland Japan? Or the relief of that invasion being called off? Any or all of these would've been relevant and interesting to include, and could’ve made the episode's story end smoother.

4.

Viewers needed to see some post-credits information (like Band of Brothers did), to inform and help contextualize what they just watched

(CW for mentions of sexual violence, suicide in this section)

For instance:

The horrifically high rate of civilian casualties, including those who were conscripted to fight, forced &/or induced by propaganda to commit mass suicides, etc.

Likewise, the rate of sexual violence against civilians- a large portion of which was done (and covered up) by members of the U.S. military, both during the battle and afterward

The U.S. military had more than twice as many casualties on Okinawa as Guadalcanal and Iwo Jima combined

More mental health issues were reported than from any other battle in the Pacific during WWII

The Japanese civilian casualties of the atomic bombs, which are mentioned in passing at the end of the episode

The U.S. military set up civilian internment camps post-war, where thousands more Okinawans died from starvation and disease

The U.S. occupied of Okinawa for decades, and still have a huge military presence there, despite protests from islanders

TLDR

It's still a good episode. But the ending is rushed and leaves loose ends, which does a disservice to the characters' development and the story overall.

It also needed to provide information to the viewers, both to fill in some gaps of information which deserve to be acknowledged, as well as to contextualize all of the horrors and atrocities they just watched.

[millie-multifics]

Cry, Cry, Cry Baby

Eddie Munson x NewMother

Being parents to a new baby can be overwhelming, Eddie is determined to bring his love some relief.

Warnings: Themes of Post Pardem Depression, Mom Guilt and Baby Blues. If you have experienced these, please read at your own discretion. This does not depict how every mother/ family experiences PPD as everyone is different.

Masterlist

x x x

The never ceasing wails- how could a scream so piercing come from such a small body? The shrill cry felt like it was an ever restricting rubber band between her temples every second it continued.

Burning tears, running down both mom and babies cheeks like a rapid flowing river.

It felt as though an elephant was standing on her chest as guilt and hopelessness settled deep.

Her elbows were weak from hours of rocking and clutching onto her child, holding the baby so close it seemed she was trying to absorbed the child back into her body where she knew it would be safe… and quiet.

She had ridiculed Eddie the first time he had done it, snuggle their child up and lay them in the empty bread box as he set forth cleaning the kitchen.

She leaned against the couch with the tattered throw blanket wrapped around her shoulders, attempting to swaddle herself to see how much comfort it could bring the baby while it lay in the cardboard box by her side, its wail still piercing the air of the otherwise peaceful trailer park.

Eddie hated when he was stuck at work longer than planned, even if his peeling leather wallet thanked him. From the moment he stepped into the Plant, the only thing on his mind was going home to his soon-to-be wife and their beautiful daughter. He wished he could say his daughter was a little angel, but truthfully the past 3 months had been the most testing months of his life. She woke up from her sleep nearly every hour- Eddie would thank every God if she managed to make it a mere 2 hours. Her piercing wail reminded him of a siren, it would go off every few moments if she wasn’t being bounced at the right tempo of “Does Your Mother Know” by Abba. Eddie suspects her mother constantly dancing to Abba while pregnant is the culprit, he is starting to regret splurging to buy her all the albums for their 2 year anniversary.

He can hear his baby girl crying as soon as he steps out of the car, he is met with an unusual sight when he enters the double wide trailer. The baby is laying in the breadbox, unharmed and doing what she does best, wailing until she is red in the face. His love is sitting next to her with her head buried in her arms, her wails just as loud as the baby. He kneels in front of her, gently shaking her shoulder with one had as his other reaches for the baby.

“I’m so sorry, Eddie,” He can barely make out the words she gasps out between cries, “I failed. I’m a failure, she won’t stop crying.”

A vice grip takes hold of Eddie’s pounding heart. He should have seen the signs before it boiled to this point. He had heard about it from Steve, Nancy had struggled after the birth of their second child, he should have recognized that you were struggling too.

“Hey, it’s okay. I promise that you are not a failure, it’s okay to get overwhelmed.” Eddie had to blink the tears from his own eyes as his love looked at him so helplessly, “I’ve got the baby, why don’t you go take a bath then we can talk, alright?”

With a tender kiss to the top of her head, he grabs hold of her hands and pulls her to her feet, sending her in the direction of the bathroom. Eddie scoops the baby out of the box, gently humming to her as he bounces to the kitchen in the tempo of Abba. He continues to hum despite her cries as he starts heating a bottle in boiling water on the stove top, finding the diaper bag abandoned on their tiny dining table. He changes the baby’s diaper and does his best to wipe the tear stained cheeks of his daughter. He can hear the water in the tub slosh around as his love makes herself comfortable, the cries she were attempting to muffle slowly ceasing as the hot water soothes the aches of her body and mind.

His baby girl stops crying as he begins to hum the song for the sixth time, just in time for her bottle to reach a drinkable temperature. He dials the phone to the number that has slowly been ingrained into his brain over the past few years as the baby continues to eat peacefully in his arms.

“Hi Steve, can I talk to Nance?”

[meluiloth]

Tauriel Rewrite, pt 2

part 1 part 3

This is a reimagining of Tauriel's story in The Hobbit movies! In part 1, I covered everything from a brief background of her life and position in Mirkwood to the Dwarves' escape; I tweaked a few of the details, including Tauriel's dynamics with Legolas, Thranduil, and Kili (taking out the love triangle entirely) and expanding upon her own motivation to save Mirkwood through expanding their borders and how that conflicts with the rest of her peoples' desire to remain secluded.

Tauriel is furious. She is not used to failure, and she feels humiliated and betrayed by the Dwarves' escape; both Thranduil and Legolas assure her that she did nothing wrong, and that the Dwarves were now no longer their concern, but Tauriel wants to go and retrieve them. Thranduil turns stern and says she is to remain in Mirkwood in case there are more Orcs. He tells her that the Dwarves were but a small inconvenience that has passed out of sight, and she should therefore forget about them and let things go back to normal. Tauriel, though visibly dissatisfied, says nothing, only bows and leaves.

As soon as she leaves the King's quarters, she gathers a few supplies and tells the sentries that she's going on patrol, intending to go search for the prisoners despite Thranduil's orders. The sentries warn her that the King ordered them to shut the gates - and she stops for a moment, suddenly feeling worried about her plan, but shakes her head and leaves anyways. She's determined to get those Dwarves back.

When she reaches the border of Mirkwood, however, she discovers that Legolas has followed her. He entreats her to return, saying that Thranduil doesn't know she's gone yet, and that the Dwarves are long gone by now. Frustrated, Tauriel tells him that it isn't only about the Dwarves, but about Mirkwood itself - she's tired of waiting for darkness to overcome them, and says that if she can just get the Dwarves back safely she can prove that she can not only handle herself out in the world, but that the Elves still have agency in their own story and will not be overlooked any longer. She hesitates, then tells Legolas that she isn't asking him to defy his own father, which is why she didn't tell him she was leaving; she assures him that she still loves them both, but she has to do this. Legolas says nothing for a long time, then says that it would be stupid of him to let his little sister go and tackle a horde of Orcs on her own, and that the only thing he's better at than wielding a bow is irritating his father. They set of together towards Laketown.

They reach the town the next evening; their presence draws a few stares from the locals, as few of them have seen the Elves of Mirkwood despite regularly buying their wine. Tauriel asks them about the Dwarves, and they say that most of them already left for the Lonely Mountain. This frustrates Tauriel, but someone says they saw two or three Dwarves go back to the house of Bard the Bowman. Tauriel suggests she and Legolas split up - Legolas going toward the Lonely Mountain and Tauriel going to the house - but Legolas says the journey would be too dangerous and starts towards Bard's house.

When they reach the place, however, they discover it is being attacked by a band of Orc hunters. Tauriel and Legolas quickly dispatch them, though a few escape, and Legolas goes after them, leaving Tauriel alone with the occupants of the house: three children, and three of the thirteen Dwarves.

Tauriel immediately advances upon them, angry that they escaped, but stops when she sees that Kili is wounded - the others tell her that he was shot by a poisoned arrow during their escape from Mirkwood, and that he may be dying. This makes Tauriel temporarily forget her rage, and she realizes that she's very worried about Kili, who does look on the verge of death. She sees that there is an array of weak medicines on the table, as well as a bunch of athelas - and, though she may not be a good healer, she is the best option at the moment, and she sets to work healing him. It's an ugly process, and she regrets not pursuing the path of healing further, but she gets the job done and within a few hours, Kili is already looking a lot better. He smiles dazedly at Tauriel, mumbling that he was glad she was here. Despite her exhaustion and annoyance, Tauriel gives him a small smile in return and says that she is too; she cannot deny that it's thrilling to finally be out in the world.

Now that the threat of death is gone, Tauriel remembers why she came here - although now that she's with these Dwarves, her willingness to clap them in irons and bring them back to Mirkwood is somewhat diminished. Nevertheless, she set out to do a job, and she is determined to complete it to earn back her honor. However, before she can do anything, the sky is split by a great rumbling and a flash of golden light.

The dragon Smaug is attacking Laketown, something Tauriel would have never thought possible - but there isn't time to think about anything but getting out alive. She herds the family and the Dwarves out of the house, and they quickly find a boat; she doesn't know much about sailing, so she lets the girls handle the boat as the city burns around them. The boy leaves them to look for his father, against her protestations, which brings her mind to another thought that stops her heart: Legolas isn't with them. The thought fills her with fear - if he died, she could not live with herself - but there's no way to go back and search for him. There is fire everywhere. She can only hope that he made it out of Laketown before Smaug attacked, just as he is likely hoping the same about her.

It's a hellish road away from the city, but she and her companions finally drift out into open water, along with several other small boats, and they drag themselves to shore; they all smell like smoke. Tauriel watches in openmouthed horror as Smaug falls from the sky, killed by some unknown force. Even though their home is in ruins, the people of Laketown cheer as they watch the monster die.

When morning dawns, Tauriel is relieved to have survived, but the feeling is almost overshadowed by her anxiety about Legolas. She should have stayed with him the entire time! It would be her fault if he didn't make it. The Dwarves, not noticing her distress, work to push their boat back into the water; Tauriel briefly sets her worry aside to ask them where they're going. When they answer that they will go to Erebor, she remembers that she came to apprehend them - and when she says so, their faces turn hard, even Kili's. He says that she should understand their pain, since her own home is falling into shadow, and Tauriel wrestles with her loyalty to her home and her pity for the Dwarves. She decides to let them go. The hostile look on Kili's face vanishes, and he thanks her earnestly; as a parting gift, he gives her a small talisman, a stone with a Dwarven rune carved into it, which his mother gave him. He says it represents a promise he made to her - to return to her alive - and now he is making a promise to Tauriel that her friendship will not be forgotten.

Footsteps sound behind her as she watches the Dwarves row up the river, and she turns to see Legolas standing behind her, covered in scratches, but sporting no burn marks; she is filled with relief and embraces him. She had thought him dead, she says. He gives a rasping laugh and says it would take more than Orcs or dragons to kill him. He looks over her shoulder and comments about how she let the Dwarves get away, chiding her a little for dragging them both out here for nothing. She looks down and gives no reply, and after a moment of staring at her in concern, Legolas clears his throat and tells her that the Orcs he pursued out of Laketown bore the mark of Gundabad, an Orc stronghold up north. Tauriel frowns deeply; she knows that his mother had been killed there.

Shortly after, an Elven messenger comes out of the forest, apparently to assess the damage; he says that everyone in Mirkwood knows about Smaug's death, and that word will travel fast. He tells Legolas and Tauriel that Thranduil is displeased with their disobedience, and that he orders that they return to Mirkwood right away. Tauriel looks down, ashamed, but to her surprise, Legolas shakes his head and says that he will go to Gundabad. Tauriel protests, telling him that he shouldn't disobey a direct order from their King, but Legolas reminds her she did the same thing; Tauriel nods and, after hesitating a moment, says that he will not go alone.

This is VERY long, so there will be a part 3!

[skele-bunny]

No one asked for it but I'm gonna share it anyways bc I want to. Queued post don't kill me.

World Building!

(Specifically during Era 3 bc I can do what I want.)

CW - Privacy Violations, inhumane punishment

Despite Terzo trying so, so hard for his ghouls — to make changes to the regulations, to give them a chance to simply live, Terzo wasn't able to do much. He was so restricted. Again for example, have you seen those uniforms?? Terrible :(

Ghouls were monitored heavily, and still only really acknowledged as weapons/servants. They had duties and they had to perform, and if they were unable, they were retired or simply sent back. A cruel thing to many, but no one able to protest.

To even simply want to buy personal items, a form had to be filled out and could STILL be rejected despite it coming out of the ghoul's wallet. They made so little as is, but the rejection was truly a punch in the face sometimes. It was little stuff, too!! A band shirt, or one of those cheap necklaces, toys, anything ranging to even personal shoes! It could be denied. All those days of waiting and saving for nothing.

When Dew wanted to merge his and Aether's room, they had a GIANT packet to fill out. They had to list all of their items, why they wanted to merge rooms, why it would be beneficial, why it should be approved, and signed. The waiting process took longer than anything else, so much so that it was only after Dew's transition that their form got approved.

Very fuckin strict curfews, too!! Every morning and night, a Sibling would come in the den and do a roll call. If a ghoul wasn't in the den and claimed to be at work, it had to be double checked. If the ghoul was labeled as missing, they'd get SERIOUSLY reprimands like weeks of detention, or stuck with the weeds in the garden back to back, or lose a privilege like their cellphone. If it was super bad, then solitude. Stuck in a cell-like room with only a toilet, sink, and a bed.

If a ghoul was caught sneaking out? Immediate confinement for MONTHS until they learned, practically weeping at whoever's feet, that they'd never do it again.

Speaking of cellphones, they were confiscated a lot. Some of them figured out how to jailbreak their system and be able to consume media or go on websites not allowed at the time. A looot of privacy violations happened as pictures and texts would be gone through as well. When Pebble first experienced it, he literally cried in a Cardinal's office as his nudes were gone through.

Masks were strictly enforced if not inside the den, but even still had to be on for roll call or visits from humans. Even on tour, they weren't allowed to show their face to any of the stagehands/techs; glamoured or not.

Era 3 had the highest turnover rate simply because of sickness and torment inflicted by the clergy. Zephyr, Alpha, and Ivy all having their own severe illnesses that forced them to retire but still able to work; so somewhat useful... Delta who was literally mangled in the mind from being the first surviving elemental transition, left as only half of who they were — retired. Omega who's essence just simply burned out and he couldn't continue, try as he might (and he did try!) — Retired. Aether who eventually succumbed to his own fate like Omega in later years; but could still work. Aër who was stuck in solitude for years and years until he passed simply because he no longer wished to be a pawn.

There was a LOT of violence during the first 3 eras, mainly 2&3 from how exhausted and cooped up the ghouls were. Barely given days off, but always could rely on the holiday festivals (unless you were one of the unlucky ones still forced to work.) They needed enrichment and they simply couldn't get that properly until Copia became Papa, just as limited while Cardinal.

Needless to say, the Ghouls weren't always happy go-lucky and prosperous. There was a lot of favoritism and neglect going on, and it took multiple times and working protests for certain things to be done; such as accessibility and better living standards.

[artiststarme]

What If Steve Were To Leave Hawkins? Part 15

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14

So I was going to have this be the last part but I some new ideas came to mind. Probably a few more parts after this one! As always, I hope you enjoy this part and let me know what you guys think!

~*~*~*~

Eddie kept fidgeting as they made their way down the highway towards Hawkins. He drummed his fingers against his legs, flicked through metal tracks on the cassette, and cracked every joint in his body at least thrice. They’d only been driving for an hour. 

When he switched the Dio cassette for one of Metallica’s, Steve knew he had to intervene in order to preserve what was left of his sanity. “Okay, what’s going on? You keep cracking things even though you know I hate it and we didn’t even get to listen to all of Sacred Heart.  Why are you so nervous?”

Eddie sighed and pulled at his hair before dropping his hands back onto his lap, “I’m nervous to see the kids. The little shits were brutal the last time I saw them in my trailer. They thought I was gatekeeping you from them and they really tore into me. Caused me to have a panic attack bad enough that Wayne kicked ‘em out. I just… what if they yell at me? I don’t think I could take being called a coward again.”

Steve felt a flush of anger at his words. He knew the power that a word could hold. One whisper of ‘bullshit’ and he was thrown into a flashback of Nancy brutally dumping him at the Halloween Party and blaming him for getting her best friend killed. He got it and he loathed that Eddie had such strong connections to being called a ‘coward’. 

“Hey, if any of those brats try to yell at you, I’ll take them out. I’ll ground them or some shit, I promise. I hope they’ll be too happy to see us to focus on yelling at us for leaving. But no one will ever call you a coward again, not where I can hear them. That I can promise,” Steve murmured, eyes flitting between the road and Eddie. He took his right hand off the wheel and laid it palm-up on the center console, an invitation for Eddie to grab hold and seek comfort. 

He did so, taking the proffered hand and laying a gentle kiss on the knuckles, making sure not to distract Steve too much from driving. “Thanks, Stevie. Are you nervous? You’ve been gone a lot longer than I have.”

Steve thought for a moment. He was a bit nervous, being in Hawkins always made him a little uneasy even when he still lived there. He wasn’t too nervous to see the kids though. A part of him still doubted that they really cared about him leaving despite the vocal protests launched by both Eddie and Dustin. “A little bit but not really. I haven’t seen any of the kids in months and I’ve only spoken to Dustin a few times since I left. But I’m not really scared to see them, you know? I’ve got you and Robin and I don’t think me leaving really affected anyone besides you guys and Dustin.”

Eddie shook his head in Steve’s peripheral vision, “Steve, it baffles me that you don’t see how much we love you. You would be shocked at how many people actually care about you.”

Steve just blushed and tried to escape the emotional part of the conversation, “hehe, okay. Ooo, I love this song. The metal guys, right?”

Eddie let him escape this time but he would spend the rest of his life convincing Steve that people loved him if he had to. For now, he would enjoy the grimace on Steve’s face as he pretended to enjoy Metallica, his least favorite metal band, blasting through the speakers to keep up his blatant lie. 

~*~*~*~

When they arrived in Hawkins, they headed directly for the trailer. Eddie had to pack all of his miscellaneous belongings such as DnD figurines, notebooks with song lyrics, cassette tapes, and his extensive collection of gaudy rings. He gave Steve the keys to his van and ordered him to pick up Robin while he went through the arduous task of deciding what could stay and what had to go back to Chicago with him. 

With a kiss to his temple and a hair ruffle to boot, Steve was on his way to Robin’s. The situation at her house had become even more hostile between her and her parents. With the news reporting on the HIV/AIDS crisis and the anti-gay protests, her parents had become particularly vocal about their distaste for homosexuals. They had even turned their suspicious gazes on her and had started questioning her disinterest in dating local boys or wearing makeup. Yesterday, Robin had called Steve to report that her dad had told her ‘If she didn't start dating boys at her age, people were going to think that she’s a dyke. She didn’t want that, did she?’ And so, Steve had called off of work and dragged Eddie to Hawkins to get her out of that environment. 

Both of her parents were at work which made the last minute packing and moving things into Eddie’s van easy. Steve could tell that Robin was sad at leaving her childhood home and cutting off contact with her parents with little more than a short note but, she had no reason to stay with people that would never be able to accept such a prominent part of her. 

Little words were exchanged between the two during the entire process. When he saw a small tear drip from her eye, Steve pulled his best friend into his arms. “Hey, screw them. If they can’t accept you for liking boobies, then they can go to hell, okay?”

Robin just laughed as she wiped her eyes with a closed fist. “Oh my god, don’t say boobies.”

“What can’t I say? Boobies? If I want to say boobies, I’m going to say boobies. What’s so wrong with boobies?” 

Robin shoved at his shoulder and moved to the passenger seat of the van, “I love you so much, Dingus. You always know what to say to make me feel better. Now let’s get out of here.”

Steve just nodded and with one last look towards her childhood home, they set off towards the trailer park to help Eddie finish packing. 

They passed the Henderson’s house on the way and Steve decided to bite the bullet. He’d have to see the kid sometime eventually, right? No better time than the present. He pulled into the driveway and knocked on the door, hoping Dustin was home from school. He wrung his hands nervously as he waited for him to open the door. 

However, it was Claudia that opened it. “Steve? Oh dear, you look like you’ve lost weight. Are you eating properly at your new place? I have lasagne in the fridge, I’ll give you some to take home with you. It should be enough for you and for that Munson boy.”

“Oh, um thanks Mrs. Henderson. Is Dustin here? I know he wanted to meet up while I was here-”

Steve heard him thundering down the stairs before he saw him. His dweeby little brother barreled past his mother and nearly tackled Steve to the ground. “STEVE!”

Steve laughed as all of the breath was knocked out of him upon impact, “Jesus Christ, Henderson! You’re going to break something! How’re you doing? I was wondering if you’d like to come back to Eddie’s with me while he packs up his shi-stuff.”

Dustin nodded exuberantly, “Yeah, of course! Let me get my walkie and then we can go! The others are going to lose their minds!”

So, Steve waited on the porch for Dustin to collect his things. Claudia brought him a takeaway container filled to the brim with homemade lasagne and left him with a promise for him to take care of himself. And then, they were off to the trailer park once again to go assist his boyfriend in sorting out his hoarder tendencies.

Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20: Epilogue

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[devieuls]

The way of love pt.IX

Neteyam Sully x Tayrangi Fem Reader (Na'vi)

Warning of the Serie: MDNI. Dom Neteyam x Fem Reader; SMUT; ANGST; FLUFF; Dirty Talk; Fangs; Bites; Blood; Spit; Power Play; Jealousy and Possessiveness; Foreplay; violence; Swearing; Teasing; Unprotected Sex; Enemies (because of you, Neteyam treats you well). Aged characters: Neteyam 19 y.o / You 18 y.o. SERIE

Synopsis: After a great loss happened in your family, you are forced to take a role that before did not belong to you, following a path that you will feel like your only in time. Just when you thought you were finally overcoming the loss, your clan shows up with those you blame for the great offense received. You are the daughter of the first Olo'eykte of all clans and are about to take your mother’s place to lead the Tayrangi clan, but first you must follow Neteyam (the eldest son of the man you detest with all your heart) To train him, despite your contempt for the Sullys and everything about them, you inevitably bond with the boy, unknowingly falling in love with him.

CHAPTER WARNING: ///////

Lenght : 4.2k

Notes: I cried so much in the scenes of Ney'nari, because they reminded me of a friend I was close to many years ago and who unfortunately passed away. I cried loving the scene, I hope it can touch your heart a little bit. I recommend listening to these songs while reading: OCEAN EYES; HOSTAGE; IDONTWANNABEYOUANYMORE BY: BILLIE EILISH

NA'VI WORDS: 'ITE: Daughter; TSMUKE: Sister; OARE: Moon; SA'NU: Mother; YAWNETU: Darling; NGATSYIP: Little you; SEMPUL: Father

Character Cast: NEY'NARI: Your dead sister; IKEYNI: Your Mother; TSENTEY: Your Father; YÌMKXA: Your Ikran; ULEYTE: Your bestie; TUL'PEY: Your future Mate

PART: 1 ; 2 ; 3 ; 4 ; 5 ; 6 ; 7 ; 8 ; 9 ; 10

· · ─────── · 𖥸 · ─────── · ·

You spent a few hours in that place, letting nature embrace and welcome you, remembering that you could ask for advice and receive comfort from your sister by making Tsaheylu with one of the voices trees that was placed just a short distance from there. You needed guidance and someone who understood your emotions, so who better than your sister to help you figure out the way to go?

The cold air now hit your face as your eyes pointed towards the tree of voices, not feeling able to get up to reach it. You felt dead lying on that grass, letting a few tears go while you seemed lifeless, almost extinct. It took a few minutes before you could get off the ground, your steps were heavy as you squeezed your hand at chest height as if to keep the small fragments that now composed it connected, creating cracks and letting you bleed. Now the tears became faithful companions, a way of vent for the pain that you could not hold back. When you reached the tree you sat on its roots and weakly connected your tail to one of the bright vines of the tree, slightly afraid of not being able to connect with your sister. This was the first time you’ve been looking for her voice and her memory like this, because you knew it would be destructive to hear and see Ney'nari and then go back to reality and remind yourself that you no longer had her guidance, therefore you preferred to look for it in the wind or in the waves and you felt good so.

Within seconds you found yourself in a cherished memory, and you realized that you had found your sister. You remembered that day well because it was the day you killed the Palulukan whose tooth became the pendant of your necklace. You felt the breath die in your throat when you noticed a beautiful Na'vi from behind, with long braided hair, some jewels and feathers embellished her braids, while the band on her arm was indistinguishable, because you had made her, even though it was woven mediocrely she had never taken away that cherished memory of her little sister. When the girl turned a sweet smile greeted you and her kind eyes looked at you as if to invite you to approach her, while warm tears bathed your face, giving you the strength to run towards her and embrace her. Her arms were warm and comforting, and her scent was stored back in your memory. You collapsed in her arms, taking her to sit with you, as she held you to her immediately realizing that you were not well, her hands caressed your braids as she whispered "Take your time, ma Yawntutsyìp, take your time…." not knowing that her words only made you cry more. You missed her so much, her warm and comforting embrace that welcomed you whenever you needed it, the way her voice calmed you even in the worst of times.

She made you lay your head on her legs, just like when you were a child, beginning to caress your braids and your face, smiling lovingly as she wiped your tears. "M-Ma 'Nary…" you managed to whine and whisper without a voice while your hand caressed her face, trying to convince you that this was real and she was really there with you. "You became so beautiful, ma Yawntutsyìp" Her voice was sweet and melodious as she spoke to you, you had forgotten her voice and hearing her again led you to take long breaths and hold back tears, and then smile at her. "It’s been so long, ma 'Nari, so much… I’m sorry" she nodded at your words, smiling and holding you to her as much as possible. "Not much for me, I always listen to you, when you talk to me and look for me, because I am always here" She put her hand on your heart, looking at you with a sweet sadness. " And I feel that my house is being destroyed, what happens to your heart, ma Tsmuke?" Your eyes looked at her with desolation before opening your mouth.

She remained silent as you spoke to her about everything that had happened to you since her death, seeking comfort in her sweet eyes full of love and affection for you. She nodded at your words, waiting for you to finish talking and then pass her hand over your forehead. "Ma y/n, the ways of the Great Mother are many, and none cruel. Within you, you know what you really want, but your mind prevents you from understanding. I prayed very much to the Great Mother for you, to send you a good person because I know that Tul'pey cannot offer you all his heart, I'm sorry… You've become so beautiful and great, but your mind is still small like when you were still a child. You are hurt and your spirit is protected by your hard thinking. Neteyam Sully, he is where your happiness lives, I've seen it" You have remained silent, listening to her as she spoke. "Your eyes speak and I read his name in them. If you are suffering this way, let him go, and continue on the path that others have chosen for you. But this isn’t you, I still remember how much you hated following the rules." "I don’t think I’ll be happy with him, ma Ney'nari… He knew about Tul'pey, he knew that I was paired and that he would be my future partner but he wasn’t sincere. He took my heart and destroyed it-"Ney'nari stopped you before I finished talking. "But you asked? Did you ask him if he had a partner?" She looked at you as if she already knew the answer to her own question.

"I… I thought he haven't, because… well, I understood that… I-" You began to stutter, searching your mind for the moment when you asked Neteyam if he was paired. "I’ll answer you, no, you didn’t. As I told you, your mind leads you wrong, you are wise ma'Tsmuke, but very stubborn. " "He has a woman… She said she was his mate, ma tsmuke. His M-a-t-e!" even the mere memory of what was said caused you pain. "You too have a partner, whom you do not want. As he does not want her. You two have found each other, this is even greater than what our mother said or his tsahìk. You chose eachother" she whispered, caressing your cheek to comfort you. "She’s not his mate, not yet" You looked at her incredulously, is it possible that she was right? That Ninat’s daughter had said those words just to mark her territory? "When Eywa sent you the young Sully, I was blessing that boy for you, desperately trying to change your mind about him and his family." She gently hit your forehead, making you grumble. "You know how hard that was? Trying to influence the events of the living for a greater purpose is very difficult. The lost necklace was easier than sending you signals to change your mind." You looked at her wide-eyed even more incredulous "Then it was really you…" you whispered without a voice. "Of course it was me, I had to pray to the Great Mother for many eclipses to get her consent. And you kept being so stubborn, that hard work," she sighed dramatically, making you laugh slightly, vaguely reminding you that it was something Neteyam often did. "I could feel it, I knew it was you watching over me," you said with a small smile, as you squeezed his hand and carried it on your cheek. "I never stopped doing it, but Oare. Once sisters, sisters forever. Not even death can cut this bond" You looked at her nodding as you felt some tears come out of your eyes again, thanking her in silence.

"Oel ngati kameie, ma y/n" this time it was her eyes that got shiny. She never had a chance to tell you, because you were too young and you wouldn’t fully understand the meaning of this sentence. "I’ve always seen you, so I know that your heart and your mind want Neteyam Sully. Listen to your heart, he’s your destiny. Fight my big, fearless, little warrior" You nodded in tears, squeezing her hand against your cheek. "Oel Ngati kameie, ma Ney'nari" you answered with a broken voice. You wanted to stay in that enchanted place forever, listen to her voice and cuddle up in her arms whenever you needed, feel protected and at home when she was near you. You knew it wasn’t gonna happen, but you didn’t feel ready to go back to reality without her, not again. "It’s time to go…" she whispered once your breasts met because of the hug you needed so much. "Just a little bit more… please, leave me here a little more, I’m so afraid…" your broken voice as you squeezed your sister’s body, letting her do the same while caressing your head as a mother would have done with her daughter. "You can’t, it’s already late out there, ma y/n. I’ll be with you there too, don’t be afraid" You could hear from her tone that she also wanted to stay a little longer with you. "It’s not true, I won’t see you anymore! I won’t feel your warmth and your voice… You’ll disappear again, I won’t, I beg you… please" Ney'nari took your face with her hands and looked you in the eye, wiping with her thumbs every tear that came down your face . "No, don’t say that. I will never leave you. Never, ma tsmuke. I’m always with you, just listen. I am in the air you breathe, in the breeze that caresses you, in the waves that embrace you and in the stars that you look at. You carry me in your heart, listen to me. I will be your sister in all the lives that Eywa will give me, I promise." She tried to convince you to nod with her. Your fingers still held her shoulders as if she were a life preserver in the middle of the ocean and you were drowning. "Now go, and make your own way, follow your future. You have a strong heart, ma y/n, go get him."

Before you could answer her, you found yourself embracing the air, disconnecting the Tsaheylu that had been created between your tail and the bioluminescent liana. Lean your forehead on the bark of the tree, trying to feel the warmth of your sister’s arms for a while longer, wrapping your own body with your arms. Some tears streaked your face before feeling a gentle breeze caressing your back, making you smile in silence, realizing that this was Ney'nari. You opened your mouth, taking a deep breath, letting the cool sea breeze below open your lungs. You noticed that the sky was coloring slightly, and other gusts of wind hit you making you understand to get up and go to find Neteyam, to allow him to explain himself. When you arrived at the village you rushed to his hut, entering without even knocking or asking permission, immediately noticing the emptiness that was in his house. There was nothing left of him, no clothes or weapons, nothing, the bare walls and the tables well arranged. As you approached one of the tables you could see the presence of your necklace, the one with the palulukan tooth that you had lost, noting that the threads had been worked again with other green threads, making the closure knot more difficult so you don’t lose it anymore.

With the jewel in your hands you ran home and there you found your father looking at you worried, after all you had been gone for hours and your Ikran was still near the village. "Where were you? We-" You stopped him impatiently, looking for something vaguely reminiscent of one of the Sullys. "Where's Neteyam?" your tone of voice was impatient and almost exasperated, which confused your father. "I thought you knew, he left with his parents about an hour ago. He said that you had given him permission to leave because he was ready, and-" Tsentey froze, noticing your sad look and your still-shiny eyes. "Too late… it’s too late…" you managed to whisper, holding your sister’s necklace in your hands. "Ma 'ite, too late for what?" The man approached you, laying a hand on your cheek and looking at you worried. At that moment a lantern lit in him, making him understand why you had said those words. "Ma y/n, too late to find him?" he asked you to see you nod. Tears turned your face, looking again for affection and warmth in Tsentey’s arms. "Dad, I was late. Again. I didn’t get there in time," you said in the sobs as he stroked your back, clutching at you.

Your father had always been the loving parent, who understood you and left you free to be yourself, increasing your warrior spirit. He wanted to see you happy, and he always tried to soften the pill in everything, while Ikeyni was the toughest parent, who, yes, loved you but was tougher. They were two kinds of love that made you feel closer to your father than your mother, so you were looking for the maternal figure in Ney'nari. "Ma 'ite, Neteyam wasn’t just a student to you, was he?" Tsentey’s gentle voice echoed in the empty hut, which despite being warm made you feel cold. "I no. I don’t…" Your father’s eyes met yours, and you couldn’t lie. "He wasn’t just a student…" you sighed as a comforting smile from your father destabilized you. You were expecting a lecture that you two were heirs to two different clans, that you were both paired with other people and things like that. But he understood you, you could tell by his look. "I knew it. When you looked at him, you had the same eyes as your mother when I met her years ago." He reassured you, clutching you at his chest. "Don’t you want to scold me?" you said sobbing, you were sure you’d shed all the tears of your life in one day. "How could I? The heart is not commanded, ma Ngasyìp" Your father looked into your eyes, wiping your tears gently. "But it’s too late now… He’s gone, and it is all my fault" you whispered with shame, knowing that you had not even given Neteyam a chance to apologize and explain himself; for when he did you were deliberately deaf, so caught up in your emotions that you forgot his. "If it is fate, you will find yourself again," he said before laying his chin over your head, clutching at him. That’s when Ikeyni walked in and you two looked the other way, like you hadn’t just told your father that you’d been unfaithful in Tulpey for a guy you shouldn’t even have seen romantically.

The days without Neteyam were long and exhausting, your spirit had returned to what it was before you met him. You spent your time squeezing your fingers around the necklace that he had fixed, never taking it off, thus keeping the boy closest to you. Sometimes, when the night came, you would still look out the window hoping to find him and hear his voice and sweet words once again, being disappointed when you remembered that he was gone and would not return. To make his memory even more exhausting, it was that his hut was so close to yours that, inevitably, when you needed to feel him close to you, you went back to his house. You breathed the air that every day lost more and more his scent, taking with it the memories enclosed in those walls of leather and wood. Your routine had become monotonous: Tsakarem lessons to become Tsahìk; training with your father to be a strong Olo'eykte; the exasperating encounters with the family of Tul'pey that inevitably led you two to quarrel; some sacred rites and meetings with the elders of the village. You could say that your day took a moment of relief only when Uleyte came to see you and tried to cheer you up, understanding what was happening to you and feeling bad to see you suffer in silence, without making a noise.

Days became weeks and weeks became months. Now it was two months since your skin had forgotten Neteyam’s touch, since your lips had last met his and you wondered if he felt like you. You wanted to know if he missed you, if you were in his mind as much as he was in yours, or if you were just a distant and painful memory for him. Slowly you began to feel 'better', the wounds he had lefton you were healing on your own, patching those deep cuts with a few bandages, but not suturing anything. You had accepted the path that your mother and elders had marked for you, you were going to become Tsakik and Olo'eykte of the clan without protesting. Tul'pey tried in those months to fill a place that was impossible to cover, but without ever stopping fighting with you, trying to figure out what your problem was, your relationship had become something toxic. The thought that in a week you should mated him frightened you, you would not have lived the happy life you hoped to have, and it was at that moment that words struck your mind: 'make your own way, follow your future'. Your way, your future. These words sounded so familiar when placed close to Neteyam’s name, but it was an illusion to believe that there could still be a "you two" after that night he left.

It was ironic how life brought Neteyam back on your path just a week before your official mating with Tul'pey, but it wasn’t happy news. The Omatikaya clan had invited the Tayrangi clan, especially the Olo'eykte Ikeyni and her family, to the celebration of the union of Neteyam and Reyin'al. The news tore your soul, making those bandages useless now, making you bleed again. Your father and Uleyte understood when you expressed your desire not to participate, using as an excuse the commitments and preparations of your 'wedding' event, but Ikeyni would not hear any objection from you, she had already decided to bring you too as a form of respect. "Please, sa'nu… I don’t have time for this, Neteyam and the Sullys will understand" you whispered, hiding the pain behind your words, but your father understood right away, trying to change his partner’s mind. "You were his teacher. You are obliged to go and bless his union, it is tradition. You would bring shame to your name if you did not participate. has already been decided, we will leave tomorrow morning" She answered you, forbidding you to counter her decision, while you were looking for your father’s support with your eyes. "Ma' Yawnetu, maybe we should leave her here, after all she is also going to mate with her partner, you should understand her…" Your father shut up when Ikeyni’s look landed on him, making him look down. Unfortunately, you knew your mother was in charge of the relationship, but you appreciated Tsentey’s attempt to take your side. "I said it was decided. The mating will be the day after tomorrow, and Neytiri is like a sister, I will not offend her and her family for this." She took leave, leaving you and your father to look at each other with a sorry face.

You sighed in frustration all day, until Uleyte invited you to take a walk on the beach to empty your mind. "How are you feeling? I know this is hard for you" began your friend, as she wrapped her arms around your arm, walking on the seashore with you. "I feel…" you sighed stopping and then looking at the sea waves that were on your right. "I won’t lie, I feel bad. I haven’t seen him in months, and I missed him… I know I shouldn’t feel like this, that I shouldn’t have believed his promises, but I can’t forget his eyes. He was so sincere…" your tone was full of nostalgia and melancholy, remembering those moments where he spoke and you believed him, losing yourself in his golden sunset that gave you so much confidence. "But they were lies… The day after tomorrow he will belong to another woman" a bitter smile was born on your face. "You too will belong to another man, but the Great Mother watches over you, she will deceive the way if this is fate" your friend reassured you, receiving a faint smile from you. "Keep telling me about this fate, it seems that you’ve all agreed… I can’t blame him, in the end I told him to leave and be with her, I would be selfish to think that the fault was just his" you stopped sighing heavily while the girl next to you comforted you caressing your arm. "Do you want me to come with you? I swear, I pack my things, and at the cost of mounting on your Ikran I will come with you" She said in a solemn voice, making you laugh because you knew how afraid she was of height and flying, so much so that she always avoided following you when you went hunting, just for your banshee. "No, you don’t have to. You’ll die of fear after the first meter of height. But thank you"

Uleyte smiled at you, trying to convince you that she would take the risk if you needed her support. You two spent the day talking and laughing, feeling that you needed a moment like this before you had to face the ceremony of union between the boy who possessed your heart and that unknown Na'vi. Your friend tried to free your mind with nonsense thing that you did as children, took you to collect shells and pearls of the sea, making some low quality jewelry with the salty sea vines, or playing with the sand while it made you vent. When you said goodbye, she recommended that you come and greet her before your departure, leaving almost all the jewels made that afternoon together, and then wish you goodnight.

The night before you left, it was deadly for you, you had packed some clothes and jewelry that you would need for the days you would be in the Omatikaya clan, your hands trembled as you wrapped the various tops and loincloths in the leather blanket that would be your luggage. You could not help but look at your 'suitcase' and think that you would prefer not to leave, to turn away from your thoughts was your father who entered the part of the most private hut and of which you had appropriated. In his hands were traditional ceremonial clothes and you looked up at the ceiling, knowing that that would be your clothing for one of the worst days of your life. "Ma Ngatsyìp, I came to-" you opened your mouth before you even let him finish talking. " Yeah, put it on the table, I’ll pack it later." "It’s not just the dress, I wanted to know if you needed anything." Your father’s placed the clothes on the table and then looked at you tenderly. "Other than permission to stay home? Nothing." You made yourself too late that your tone was far too sour to address your father, who after all was only trying to comfort you. " I… I’m sorry, I’m just tense, Ma Sempul" You sat exhausted on your flat, then made space for your father. "Don’t apologize, ma 'ite, I understand the burden in your heart," he said as he sat next to you, before gently smiling at you.

You spent hours talking to your father, finding comfort and confidence even in his words, beginning to feel more confident in your encounter with Neteyam. You convinced yourself that if you saw Neteyam happy with someone else, maybe you could get over him and live your life in peace. Before you fell asleep you went over the plan in your mind: see Neteyam as little as possible, pretend to be happy and not think about him anymore, be a mature woman and wish him the best for his life as a couple with Reyin'al. It was easy, it would have been easy, if he had looked at you without that look in love you would have made it; after all two months had passed, surely the crush that he had for you had passed and had finally convinced himself that mating with a woman of his clan was the best choice to make.

Then why did your heart beat so fast at the thought of his eyes in love and enchanted as he looked at yours?

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Notes II:

There are only two chapters left at the end, I want to cry so much because I have grown fond of this series, although I know I could have written this series much better. Despite this, it is the first time in months that I did not write and I started with a series, be patient with me.

Tell me what you think about this chapter, I am curious to know your opinions

-Mel

[alovesreading]

Constant Repeat | Part 3

Summary:  Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.

Word Count: 15.3k

Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.

A/N: Jumping on my spot because this chapter just fully starts it all and I cannot wait to hear what you think about it!!!  I don't even know what to say anymore, I'm just to eager for you all to read this one lol. Enjoy!!! xx

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 |

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It had been two months since their goodbye. June had been filled with work, mostly for commercials with a fourth of July theme. There were so many brands they’d worked with, that Ella had lost count of how many meetings she had attended in the last three weeks of the month.

True to his word, a week after their last talk, she got an email from their management asking for her name and address to be added to the PR list. Suck it and see had been out for a week already and she had bought it digitally, but her stomach fluttered as she typed in her information.

She just couldn’t wait for when the next video was going to be recorded.

July seemed to go the slowest it could’ve ever gone. And by the time August came, she still had no news about the band’s music video. The end of the first week of August was approaching, she was half tempted to go up to either Ben or Aaron and ask about it, but she was afraid of how that would make her look like.

Little did Ella know, she didn’t have to wait any longer, since the following Monday she got a list that read Arctic Monkeys - Black Treacle, Evil Twin, Suck it and See with dates on the top of the page that said August 14th - 16th 2011.

She hid her slight freakout very deep inside herself and left it for when she finished getting the details on the list ready. Four days later, when she handed the list back to her bosses, she allowed herself to get showered in nerves.

Ella knew by then that they were going to see them at a festival they were playing at in San Francisco, and she was beyond excited for it but her stomach was turning just from thinking she would be seeing Alex again after two months. Sixty days since they last spoke and she realized far too late she had no way to even contact him during the wait for the next music video.

Well, not that she would’ve been brave enough to ask for his phone number and maybe he would’ve laughed at her if she had asked for his email, but she was wondering what it would’ve been like if somehow they could have a way to keep chatting despite the distance.

And as if someone had been stealing the sand from the hourglass, before she even had time to properly prepare herself for the encounter, it was August 14th and the production crew was parking their bus at the festival grounds. It was around three in the afternoon, they had made a stop for lunch that made them arrive an hour later than anticipated but they weren’t late enough to have missed the band’s set.

After a while of walking and trying to make their ways through the artists backstage, the group of fifteen people sporting ‘Outside Lands’ wristbands managed to make it to the spot the brits were standing at.

And Ella almost didn’t recognize him.

Alex had a fresh new haircut, a quiff that just screamed greaser, and she fully had to force her jaw back up after seeing him. He had his leather jacket on, despite it not being cold, gold framed dark sunglasses that fit him perfectly, jeans and a black shirt on. A cigarette behind his ear that had an effect on her she couldn’t quite describe, but she was sure her legs went a little weak when she saw it there.

Holy fuck.

It was around a drinks tent that they were standing by, all of them with plastic cups in their hands and laughing around. She smiled as they got closer, missing being around their banter.

Nick was the first to notice them approaching, turning around with a giant smile and waving at them. The rest of them turned to where the bassist was looking at and when they saw the crew they matched Nick’s grin and gesture.

The directors were the first to approach them and shake hands. Ella followed closely behind, way too excited to greet them again to hide anymore. She hugged them tight, saying a small but high pitched “Hi” to each of them, Matt swaying her from side to side while embracing her.

Alex grinned brightly at her, feeling warmth from her presence. She didn’t waste any time in pulling him in for a hug, her hold so tight on him that he started feeling dizzy from the way it was making him feel inside.

“Hi Ellie.” His arms were around her waist, giving her a squeeze before she let go.

She was grinning from ear to ear, “Hi Al.” Ella knew her greeting had been effusive but she couldn’t care less what any of the crew members had to say, not when Alex was looking at her like that.

They were both slowly letting go off each other when Aaron spoke up, “Thank you so much for having us at the show today.”

Ella took a step back, standing beside Ben. She made it seem like she was adjusting the camera strap on her shoulder, but she was hiding her blushed cheeks behind her hair.

Matt waved it off like it was no big deal, “It’s great having you all here. Hope you didn’t get lost trying to make it here.”

Ben chuckled, “It was a whole quest but we made it.”

Matt turned around then, getting some cups and pouring what seemed to be tequila in four of them and turned around with one on each hand, “Well, you’re all about three shots behind so better catch up.”

Aaron grabbed one of the shots Matt was offering, “Well, let’s get to it then!” The director turned to all the crew, nodding with his head towards the drink table so they could all get tequila shots.

Matt was quick to pour everyone their shots and when they all had them in hand they took them at the same time, he hadn’t been kidding about catching them up because he walked down the line of people filling their cups again so they could go back for a second one.

Alex took the opportunity to check Ella out more intently. She looked amazing under the sun, her tan long legs were out, she was wearing a pair of jean shorts held up by a black double buckle belt, a black bodysuit that showed every curve on her body perfectly and on her feet were a pair of black gator skin cowboy boots with silver detailing. She looked very western, and he loved it. From his spot he could see some tattoos littering her body like the red ink writing she had on her left thigh that was making him have thoughts he couldn’t say out loud.

She wiped the drops of tequila that were falling from her chin to her neck, “Fuck.” she mumbled, “Do we really gotta do a third one?” She was already feeling the warmth from the alcohol inside her buzzing all the way to the tips of her fingers.

Matt smirked, “Yes Ellie!” He poured her a third shot, filling her cup a bit more than the last time.

She narrowed her eyes at him and Alex chuckled at her expression. Matt proceeded to pour more tequila around and when the last person was served, he shouted, “Cheers everyone!”

The burn wasn’t as bad for her anymore, but she felt like if she didn't have a chaser any time soon, she would be throwing her lunch up. Alex saw her struggling after she gulped it down, turning to the table and handing her a lime wedge.

“Ugh, thanks.” She said in a pained voice, sticking the fruit in her mouth quickly after.

The sourness relaxed her and once she felt like it was enough, Ella took it off her mouth and threw it and the cup to the trash. “Matthew, I hate you.”

Everyone laughed, some of her coworkers had reached out for lime as well and she didn’t feel as bad anymore. She was now feeling more buzzed by the second. Oh, I’m already regretting this, she said in her head.

Alex then turned to their crew and said, “We’re going on in about an hour or so, you all can go around the festival if you’d like. Those passes can take you about anywhere.” He pointed to a guy’s AAA wristband, hoping they would all take their ways and he could have some time to hang out with Ella.

With that, many of them turned to pour some drinks and make their way to the closest stage, the directors saying they were gonna check whoever was performing as well. About five minutes went by when they were all left alone with the PA by the drinks tent.

Ella smiled at them, grabbing the strap from her shoulder and taking her film camera in her hands, she turned it on before saying, “Let me take a picture of you all!” They all nodded and started taking position for the shot.

Alex ran his hand through his hair, as he smiled towards the camera. Matt and Nick were raising their drinks in the air and Jamie stood beside them with a cigarette between his lips. She captured her view, smiling at them as she lowered the device. “I’m going to be taking pictures all day so you better be good muses and pose for me.”

Alex and Matt laughed at the way she was starting to slur her words, getting very obviously tipsy already. The singer decided to tease her, “You know… you’re only missing your cowboy hat.”

She snorted, “I always have it with me.” and she lifted her left arm, showing off her little cowboy hat tattoo on the inside of her bicep.

He giggled in response, “Brilliant.” and he took a sip of his drink, “How many tattoos do you have?” He ended up asking, curious to know what she would decide to print on her skin permanently.

She took some time to think and count, touching her rib by the end and lifting a total of six fingers, “About six at the moment:” she showed her cowboy hat again, “this one’s for Tennessee,” she then turned to her side showing him her right arm, “Lover here,” she pointed to her right shoulder where the word could be read, she then proceeded to show her tricep on the same arm “The angel wings for LA,” she turned back to her front, and lifted her shorts a bit over her left thigh, “Divine feminine,” was the one on red ink Alex had first noticed, she then put her left arm up to show the outside of her forearm where three little butterflies adorned her skin “my butterflies,” and she finished touching her left ribs over her bodysuit “And Selcouth here.”

Jamie frowned as he let go of the smoke he was holding in his lungs, “Sorry, Sel– what?”

Her face softly blushed and her lips formed a shy smile, “Selcouth, uhm, it means unfamiliar or strange yet marvelous.”

Jamie nodded while Nick tilted his cup towards her, “That’s nice.”

“Thank you Nick.” She placed her hand over her chest, an exaggerated expression of her gratitude for the little compliment. “Anyway, how have you been? How’s the tour going?”

Alex sighed, moving next to her and throwing his arm around her shoulders, “Well, other than the constant moving and therefore constant jetlag, it’s been great.”

Matt, who had been doing something on the table behind them, turned around then with a smirk on his face, “But nothing some margaritas cannot cure, right lads?” He had two glasses on his hands, raising them up as he walked towards Ella. “Here you go m’lady,” and he waited until she hesitantly grabbed the glass from him to move on.

“Oh no Matt, I don’t think–” She tried saying quickly, holding the glass as far away from her as possible for him to take back but was cut off by the man before she could finish her sentence.

The drummer handed the other one to Alex and made his way back to the table to hand Jamie and Nick theirs. Holding his own drink, he turned around to tut at her, “We’re not thinking right now.” He took a sip and let out an exaggerated sigh of pleasure, “We’re having fun and getting pissed!”

She turned to her left where Alex was standing, still holding onto her. “I–” She started again but Alex looked at her expectantly, softly encouraging her to take a sip after he had taken one of his.

“It’s really good Ellie, try it.” Alex assured her, taking a second sip.

She rolled her eyes, “Okay fine, but you better not complain if you need to end up taking care of drunk Ella today.” pointing at all of them, she took a swig of the beverage.

They all cheered, throwing their arms up in the air. Alex’s arm left her shoulders for a moment and she just laughed at their enthusiasm. When his hold came back around her she approved of Matt’s creation, “That’s really good Helders, you’re gonna have to teach me how to make it.”

“Whenever you want, Ella.” Matt replied, winking at her.

She let out a short laugh that died when Alex held her a tiny bit tighter to his side. The alcohol in her system was making her feel brave, so she let her head rest on his shoulder. She felt him tense for a quick second and she was about to curse herself mentally, when she felt him rest his head on top of hers, rubbing her shoulder with his thumb, over her lover tattoo.

She bit her lip to stop a massive smile from appearing on her face, not wanting to be too obvious in front of the rest of the band who were too preoccupied chatting amongst themselves to notice.

Ella let her eyes close for a second, getting lost in the feeling of his fingers on her skin and that’s when Matt glanced at them, making eye contact with Alex who hid his smile behind his glass. The drummer didn’t say anything, he just nodded and smiled at his friend, happy to see him smiling after weeks of sadness.

A few weeks ago, the singer had broken up with his girlfriend. It was a mutual accord, both of them too busy to even see each other as often as they could manage which made them come to take the decision. Decision that very obviously hurt them both. They had been together for over four years and he had been thinking of proposing one day, but shit happens and all he could do was move forward.

Tour had been distracting him, and he had been writing a lot to cope but there was something about the way he had felt when he saw the American girl again, and now he didn’t want to let go of the feeling—therefore not letting go of her.

Ella lifted her head up, making him do the same. Alex looked down at her and she smiled at him before leaning into his ear and whispering, “I really like this new look.” she pulled back a bit and checked him out very clearly, making him blush.

He smirked with pink cheeks, “You do?”

She nodded eagerly, “Very much.” The green on her eyes, dusted with brown flakes that looked like gold under the sun, was hypnotizing him behind his sunglasses.

He let his arm fall from her shoulders to her waist, leaning into her ear and whispering, “Thanks Ella.” in a tone that almost made her shiver.

The next fifty minutes they spent all together, drinking more margaritas—which Matt had taught her now how to make—, taking pictures and just talking about whatever came to their minds.

As the time for them to be on stage got closer, the people from her crew came back, equally or more tipsy than she was. Alex had counted her current glass to be her third and when she finished it, he grabbed it from her and threw it away, leaving her side to get her a cup of water.

When he came back he grabbed her arm softly to catch her attention, “I need you to start drinking some water now, Ellie.” his voice mellow and coated with wariness over her state.

She rolled her eyes and laughed at his worried features, “Alex it’s fine, I’m not drunk yet.”

He nodded, grabbing her hand to have her fingers wrap around the cup, “Exactly, yet. We’re gonna keep drinking after our set, I just don’t want you to be sick while we’re on.”

Ella thought he looked so cute with his furrowed brows, taking care of her, “Hmm, you’re cute,” she said softly, giving him a toothy grin. “Okay, I’ll have some water.” she finally took the cup and brought it to her lips, relief washing over him.

He was blushing, really liking how she was being with him—all soft yet forward. “Great.” he replied in a mumble, holding her close to him once again like they had been all afternoon.

Many had seen them, but no one said a word. Not to him, because he was genuinely smiling after Alexa. Not to her, because no one could question her and be nosy about it in front of the band.

Her cup of water was halfway done when someone from his sound crew made his way over to their group. “Let’s go lads, we need you over by the stage. You’re on in ten.”

Alex nodded, downing the last of his drink. His mates did the same as he turned to her, “You’re gonna keep having water yeah?” his eyebrows raised as he expected her to comply.

An amused sigh was what he got, “Yes, okay, I’ll stick to water now.” She rolled her eyes as he nodded, pleased with her answer.

“Alright, see you up there.” He said before kissing her temple and making his way to the side of the stage, leaving her a statue under San Francisco’s burning sun.

She was frozen and flushed, her temple felt hot like she had been branded. Branded with the shape of his lips and she was sure she had been. That little kiss would be pathetically engraved in her mind forever now.

Matt made her come out of her trance, asking her, “Would you like another one before we go?”

She knew she should’ve kept her promise of sticking to water, but she truly felt like she was sobering back up to a barely tipsy state so she nodded, “Please and thank you, Matt.” She downed the last of the water she had and threw away her cup before going beside the drummer.

When she stood beside him he was quick to ask her, “Would you like another one so you have a refill for the show and don’t have to come back here to make yourself one?”

She giggled, “You wanna see me black out, don’t you?”

Matt laughed, shaking his head, “That would be hilarious to witness but no, I’m genuinely asking.”

“Oh Matt, you’re so kind, look at you!” She nudged his shoulder with her left hand, sarcasm so obvious in her tone. He just laughed as he poured some tequila in her glass.

A minute later her and Matt were making their ways to the side of the stage. Alex was lighting the end of a cigarette, Nick already smoking his and Jamie was telling them something. Ella thought it was the perfect opportunity to get another picture of them, so she set her glasses down on a table a few steps away from her and grabbed her film camera with her right hand.

Her feet took her to where the band was standing, and when she got close enough, she rested her hand on top of Jamie’s shoulder. “Sorry to interrupt but, can I take a picture of you guys?” she asked shyly, a little bit embarrassed over having cut their conversation short.

They all reassure her though, giving her warm smiles and nods. “Sure Ellie, where do you want us?” Jamie asked while turning around, facing her.

She pulled the camera up to her eyes, “Just stand right there and give me a pose.”

Nick kept his stance, smiling at the camera. Alex brought the cigarette from between his lips, and with it between his fingers, he put his hand out as if trying to reach for the camera. Jamie turned to him then, hugging him from behind like they were Rose and Jack from Titanic.

Ella laughed as she looked through the viewfinder, pressing the shutter once she got her lenses to focus. “Beautiful!” She exclaimed as she put the camera back down, turning it off and letting it rest on her stomach while the strap was around her neck.

“What the fuck? Why are you taking pictures of everyone but me?” Matt’s voice got louder as he came closer to them.

She snorted and brought her hand to her chest, “No, I’m sorry Matt, I’ll take another one with you! C’mon!” she waved for him to go stand beside his bandmates but the stubborn man just stood there shaking his head.

“No, I don’t want to be in the picture anymore.”

She pouted at him, “C’mon, before you have to go on stage.” she elongated her words, whining for him to move.

The drummer just stood there shaking his head as he adjusted his in-ears, the reason why he wasn’t around when they took the picture. “No.”

She rolled her eyes at his obstination, “Helders, get in the picture.”

He started playing with the drumsticks he had in his hands, shaking his head.

“I’m not going to drag you over here.” She uttered in a tired tone.

He shrugged, acting uninterested. “Okay.”

Ella threw her head back, and sighed, “Matt, please come here.”

He once again shook his head, “Thank you, I’m good.”

She deflated as the negative response reached her ears again, “Oh for fucks sake,” she mumbled to herself before pouting once again, “Please?”

The band was watching the whole situation, entertained. Matt made eye contact with Alex who was standing a couple of steps behind her, the singer just shook his head with an amused smile and Matt lost his serious stance when he chuckled.

A grin broke on her face, “Will you let me take your picture now?”

The drummer kept laughing lightly and nodded, “Yeah but this is your second and last chance.”

She rolled her eyes, bringing the camera up to her eyes. “Alright Helders, give me your best pose.” watching him through the viewfinder and trying to get the shot to focus.

He made it seem like he was going to strike a big pose, she was excited to see what he would do but then he just flipped her off with his drumsticks sticking out of his hands.

The men behind her bursted out laughing, the shutter went off once and she let the camera back down, hanging from her neck. “How nice of you, Matthew.”

He shrugged, smirking at her. “Well I really enjoyed hearing you beg, Ella.”

She rolled her eyes and it was her turn to flip him off. Matt just laughed at her, waving the lads over to start walking with him.

Just before they disappeared behind a fence, she told them “Good luck!” to which they thanked and smiled at her.

Ella went back to retrieve her margaritas, hoping no one had taken them, and to her relief they were still sitting where she had left them. She was quick to take a sip of one of the glasses, joining the group her crew made and walking with them to the side of the stage.

The festival crowd was loud, making the anticipation for their set build up. Her stomach was in knots seeing that many people and she couldn’t believe how the band didn’t seem nervous at all. They were laughing amongst themselves, adjusting their in-ears and smoking cigarettes as if they weren’t about to perform to a giant mass of people.

Ella had been staring at Alex so it was no surprise that he turned around and saw her. She kept her glance and gave him a bright grin, him matching it. He took a look at her hands and saw the cocktails she was holding onto. Alex raised his eyebrow in question, and she giggled before putting her cup up and mouthing ‘cheers’ to him to then take a long sip of the beverage.

He shook his head, smirking at her. He found everything she did so endearing, he was getting confused on what exactly was her effect on him. He couldn’t help but compare it to how he felt when Alexa would look at him or talk about him to her friends. But that was love, he was in love with Alexa and she was his girlfriend. Surely what he felt for Ella wasn’t love, he only was attracted to her; a crush, perhaps. Yet, it felt nice and he wanted to keep the feeling for as long as he could.

His thoughts were interrupted when they were instructed to get on stage. Walking up to hundreds of people who were screaming for their band and their music was something that he would never grow tired of. Not even in a narcissistic way, but a bloody-hell-I-can’t-believe-this-is-my-job way.

He blew the audience a kiss and waved at them as he went over to retrieve his guitar from its stand, then making way to the microphone to greet them. “How you doing, everybody?” he strummed his guitar, pressing on a pedal so it sounded distorted.

Her and the crew were cheering along with the crowd, only getting louder when Matt started hitting the drums. With ‘Library Pictures' they started their set, Ella knew the lyrics by heart so she was having the time of her life singing, dancing and drinking while she watched them play.

Their set lasted an hour long, and it went by so fast between the crowd going louder for their most recognized songs and the band feeding off their energy.

Soon enough, they were getting ready to play their last song, Alex said a few words before starting it. “Thank you very much everybody, thanks for coming out. You’ve been a terrific audience.” He pointed out to the people as he talked, “We’ve gotta go now, which is sad… but, erm, you enjoy the rest of your day and we’ll see you some other time.” And with that he started playing the chords to ‘When The Sun Goes Down’, singing the starting verses.

Before he repeated the last line of the song’s intro, he took a pause and the crowd yelled, cheering on the upcoming beat change. “Make some noise everybody, let me hear you.” said Alex to the crowd, encouraging their screams.

Matt took the moment to turn to the side of the stage, seeing Ella in the center of the group, with her cup almost empty and holding a burning cigarette between her fingers. She was cheering just as loud, making the drummer laugh before he looked back to the front, at the sea of people standing before the stage.

“I said, he’s a scumbag, don't you know.” sang Alex, making the beat drop and the band joining with their own instruments.

He turned around while playing his guitar, going over to Matt to continue strumming the chords when his friend nodded over to the side, where Ella was standing. He turned to look at her, and a big smile made its way to his face.

She had a cigarette perched between her lips and a half empty cup on her right hand, bumping her head to the beat while she imitated Matt’s beat of the drums with her hands. Alex laughed at how invested she was in the song, she was enjoying herself and that sight made him warm inside.

He turned back to the mic, singing the rest of the lyrics with the grin still stuck on his face. He looked over once again to the side of the stage, seeing her now imitating his fingers on the guitar. She smiled and pointed at him while singing the chorus with him.

Alex was so distracted by her actions that he almost sang the chorus once again, he stopped right away, mumbling an apology that was barely audible from the crowd’s cheers.

As the song came to an end, everyone but Alex stopped playing their instruments. Jamie threw his pick to the crowd and set his guitar down to leave; Matt stood up and waved at the crowd, leaving after Jamie. Nick went over his bass stand to set it down and crouched to get the drumstick Matt had thrown in the middle of stage, he tossed it to the crowd and put his arms up in celebration of their cheering before leaving.

Alex sang the last verse, elongating the last chord, to then turn around and leave his guitar next to Jamie’s. He grabbed his beer bottle and blew a kiss to the people before following the trail of his friends.

When he got to the side of the stage, he smirked and pointed at her, “You were the best dancer of the crowd.”

Ella blushed but jumped up and down exclaiming, “That was amazing!” Which made the rest of her crew come up to the band to congratulate them. The brits thanked everyone as they were all making their ways back down to the festival grounds.

Alex stood by her side, taking sip after sip of his beer. And as they took the last step of the stairs to the grass, she leaned into him and with slurred words said, “You know… this haircut really goes well with the whole rockstar thing you’ve got going on. The leather jacket, sunglasses everywhere and all that, pairs really well.”

He laughed at her drunken monologue, “How many margaritas have you had?”

She thought about it for a few seconds, frowning as she tapped her index finger on her lips, “Three, I think?” She thought back to how many times she’d left the side of the stage to make herself a drink and going back through her mind, she realized it had only been once while they were playing ‘Brick by Brick’.

He hummed and nodded at her response, “Well enjoy your last few sips of this one because it’s your last one.”

Ella pouted but nodded, knowing it would be for the better, considering they had to shoot right after the festival. “Okay, I guess.” She downed what was left of the drink, “Done!” she said with a smile, putting the now empty cup upside down in front of her, a single drop falling to the ground.

Alex chuckled at her, “You’re something else.” She was looking at him, squinting her eyes from the sun, so he grabbed his sunglasses and placed them on the bridge of her nose.

She adjusted them and softly nudged his hips with hers, “Thanks, the sun was about to make me cry.”

“You’re very welcome, they look good on you.” He complimented, making her blush.

She shook her head and put some of her hair behind her ear, “Ever the flatterer, Turner.”

They decided to go over the drinks tent to get Ella some water so she could sober up. She practically downed the first cup in less than thirty seconds, realizing how thirsty she had been for something non alcoholic or sweet. With a new cup of water for her, and a new beer bottle for Alex, they went up to their large group again.

Everyone decided to stay and watch The Black Keys, meaning they would leave at around seven thirty and they could reach their filming location to set everything up before it went fully dark out.

During the American band’s set, she had started to shiver. The sun was coming down and the wind was picking up, her no sleeve bodysuit and shorts weren’t helping her in the slightest and she had left her jacket on the bus.

When a particularly cold draft of air hit her back, the words automatically left her lips, “Shit, it’s so cold.” She was shivering despite Alex being beside her.

He of course took the opportunity to be cheeky, so he put his arm around her and hugged her to his side, “Is that better?”

“As much as I’d love to say yes, no.” she honestly replied when the wind still made her shake even with his hold tight on her.

He nodded, taking his arm off her. She thought for a second that maybe he had taken it the wrong way. But he placed his beer bottle on the ground, and took his jacket off, picking his bottle back up when he had the leather coat on his left hand.

“Here you go.” He offered his jacket to her, a shy smile on his face. He knew all about giving girls his jacket and how that looks to other people but he couldn’t give a shit about others’ opinions when he wanted her to be warm and to see how she’d look wearing something of his—other than his eyewear, that is.

She immediately looked to her sides at the crew scrambled around the main stage side area where they were standing. They were with the crowd but far away enough that no one would bother them, the people were too engrossed in the band playing on stage. The group she’d come with were all distracted as well and weren’t looking at them but she still didn’t want to draw more attention to them and she had a feeling that once they went to the hotel to sleep, she would be drowned in questions from her coworkers about her and Alex’s proximity.

She waved her hand in front of her as if to say no, “Alex, it’s fine I can bear it for a little longer until we leave.”

He knew why she was saying no, as she kept glancing over to her bosses and coworkers, so he reassured her, “Everyone is distracted Ella, no one’s going to see.” He understood her distress since he didn’t want her to get in trouble either or for people to talk about things that don’t concern them, but it would be fine.

Blood rushed to her cheeks when he said that, knowing he knew exactly what her thoughts were on the situation, so she sighed and gave in. “You’re annoying.” she stated as she grabbed the coat from him.

With a smirk on his face, he was quick to bite back, “And you’re very stubborn.”

Ella felt the comfort engulf her as she put the jacket on, drowning in his scent. It was slightly big on her but she looked stunning nonetheless, the sleeves covering up her hands made him want to squeeze her cheeks and kiss her. He felt the sudden urge to kiss her.

But they just smiled at each other, enjoying each other’s company far too much for this to be only a friend-through-work situation. His sunglasses were resting on top of her head now, so he stared at her hazel green eyes, getting lost in her gaze. She was staring right back at him with the hints of a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. They were engrossed in each other's features while ‘Howlin’ for You’ played in the background, it was the claps and cheers that brought them back to where they were.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

About half an hour after The Black Keys set had finished, they had left the festival and arrived at the location they were filming. The production crew wasted no time and scrambled off their small bus to start setting everything up, taking advantage of the last minutes of light the sunset offered.

After what felt like another half an hour later, the empty field was now filled with light panels surrounding a black vintage car that was going to be the main attraction for this section of the music video.

Ella went into full work mode right as she stepped out of the bus. She was no longer wearing Alex’s jacket, she changed it for hers as soon as she got in the bus to avoid any questioning, his sunglasses now hanging on the neck of her bodysuit.

She was running around checking on everyone, making calls to the actor who was on his way for the next section of the music video that they were recording tonight as well. The model, Cali, was getting her makeup done after having been put in a skin tight black latex dress with matching heeled boots.

There was so much to check up around that she was definitely sober now. She stood by the directors once the model was ready and she pointed her where to go.

As the directors were busy and everyone was focused on setting audio and cameras up properly, she went back to the bus to retrieve Alex’s jacket.

He was standing on the left side of the production setup, far away in the shadows smoking a cigarette. The rest of the band stood looking as well, only closer to the directors’ chairs. She made sure to make enough noise for him to realize she was there but not enough to disrupt the filming process.

When Ella reached his side, she lightly touched his arm and he turned to her smiling. “Thank you.” she mouthed to him and he just nodded, scared of getting scolded for making any noise that could somehow ruin the shoot.

Knowing she had to leave and be present at her job, she pointed backwards so he got that she was going back to Ben and Aaron’s side. He would’ve loved to have her beside him while they filmed but she couldn’t and she wouldn’t either, she was professional and he had seen that before. So he nodded once again and as he went to take the ashy stick out of his lips, he waved her goodbye.

The model was posing in front of the cameras, getting filmed by two of them when Ella made it back to her bosses’ side. Only ten minutes later they announced they had enough footage of that and they could move on to the next frame which included Alex and Matt.

She had to call them over and the stylists made sure to have them looking good and ready before they stepped into the car. Alex took over the driver’s seat, Matt in the backseat of the car along with Cali.

A speaker they had brought along blasted the song they were filming for, ‘Black Treacle’, and she had to bite her tongue not to sing along.

The directors wasted no time in recording the new shot. Alex mimicked driving while he sang the lines he had composed, acting very confident and collected as he stared up front like there weren't two big cameras up on his face.

In great comparison, Matt sat with Cali on his lap, acting like she was getting off with him; his hands wandering up and down her sides, one of them grazing her ass.

Ben called cut about five minutes later, making Cali take place beside Matt once again. Ella was instructed by Aaron to retrieve something from the production design table, a Lyle’s black treacle can.

The main camera on Alex’s face still rolling as the two behind him listened intently to the instructions. Alex took the time to mess around in front of the camera, lifting his hand up and showing the middle finger to it, to then raise his index finger and make it a peace sign. He put his hand down to, seconds later, bring the peace sign back up, this time slightly puckering his lips up to the lenses.

She came back with the item in hand and Aaron thanked her before swiftly placing it on top of the car’s dashboard, perfectly subtle in the shot. Ben finished with his instructions and went back to Aaron’s side, calling the other camera men to start rolling again. And after another fifteen minutes of Alex’s fake driving and Matt’s fake makeout, the scene was wrapped up.

The two musicians made it out of the car; Cali followed close behind, but walked over to the makeup team where she could sit. Alex spotted Jamie and Nick standing beside Ella, who had her usual blue clipboard held tight to her side.

Jamie smirked at his drummer friend and was quick to tease, “Look at you Helders, getting all the action.”

Ella grinned at the comment before adding, “Yeah, isn’t that meant for the lead singers?” her gaze playful on Alex now, seeing his smirk as reaction to her comment.

“Oh he would love that, just with someone else I’m sure.” Matt trailed off, looking at Alex and then back to Ella.

Alex’s grin faltered at his friend’s statement, his face going slightly pale at the very obvious glance he had given the American girl, one that Ella hadn’t even noticed since she was preoccupied at how he had reacted at the mention of that someone else, feeling a pitiful sinking of her stomach.

“Matt, I swear I’ll kick you if you talk too much.” Alex quickly threatened through his teeth, staring sternly at his friend missing her brief frown.

Ella was quick to clear her throat, bringing an act up and stupidly trying to pry information on who that someone else might be, to settle the fact that everything that had happened today had been nothing to get excited about. Or maybe he was just flirty and she felt dumb for feeling special about the way he acted with her.

She internally laughed at herself for being pathetic and getting her hopes up for getting his attention for a day, she had to remind herself of what was reality. He was a rockstar and she was just a PA. He was constantly touring the world and she stayed in California. He could have anyone he wanted and she was just another girl.

Cursing herself for feeling so down over the comment she forced out a chuckle, “Oh, who’s the girl that has caught your eye? Is she a model as well?”

Alex whipped his head around to look at her, his features coated in confusion. He automatically saw through her, the way she was fiddling with her pen and the lack of authenticity behind her grin, her eyes showed the slightest bit of disappointment. He softly grinned at the thought of it meaning that she found him attractive and liked his company too, but his heart sank as he saw how Matt’s comment had rubbed off the wrong way on her.

He turned back to Matt and scolded him, “Helders, just shut up.”

His need to keep Matt quiet about the matter made her evening bitter, the thought of seeing herself as a fool only cutting deeper inside her. Jamie and Nick laughed, Matt pressed his lips together in amusement, all whilst Ella had to fake another laugh but failed at making it sound real.

Aaron called her up this time, her feet quickly taking her to her boss without even saying bye to the band since she just wanted to get away.

The crew had to put up a bonfire now, so a group of six people started gathering what they would need. The car was moved to the side by a crew member, getting the space free to make the brick circle in which they set the tinder and kindling wood, and then formed a teepee of firewood over it. Ella threw three matches and started the fire, the flames growing taller as the seconds went by, warming everyone around the site.

In fear of the fire burning out too quickly because of the wind, they started rolling the new scene soon after the flames came alive. The whole band was instructed to come in front of the burning wood, and they were filmed standing around it for only five minutes as they grew too hot, too soon.

With a few minutes to cool down, Matt was called in front of it again, to pose for the camera just to have those visually pleasing shots. And lastly it was Alex’s turn. He looked angelic, contrasted to the hell-like heat that burned; his leather clad back facing the camera, all Ella could see was the way the flames outlined his body frame in a way she just had to capture. She placed her clipboard between her legs and was quick to pull her camera to her eyes after turning it on. She took the picture and after advancing the film, quickly turned the device back off, feeling the weight on her neck again but satisfied by immortalizing such a moment.

He was hypnotic to her. The way he moved, the way he talked, the way he looked. Everything he did was smooth and magnetic, and she couldn’t peel her eyes off of him.

She was too enthralled by the singer that she didn’t notice how Matt had caught her taking the picture. He smiled at the sight and at how her shoulders slumped after she had pressed the shutter as if relieved to have caught the perfect frame.

He wouldn’t say anything to her about it but he wanted to make her know he’d seen it happen in a subtle way. So he approached her slowly and once beside her he asked, “Enjoy film photography much?”

Ella turned to see him, wide eyed and flushed but cleared her throat knowing there was nothing she could do if Matt had seen her actions. “A lot, yes. I started back in freshman year of university. Learned quite fast since I took a lot of pictures in frat parties,” She chuckled at the memory, “You become quite popular and invited to each and every one of them when you are recognized as the photographer.”

Matt hummed in response, “I got into photography in college at 16, around the same time I got into the drums. It was mainly because we just had access to cameras and we also had a dark room to develop our own pictures.”

She was slightly surprised but her smile quickly made an appearance on her face. She hadn’t genuinely smiled in a good fifteen minutes. “That’s sick! I’ve always wanted to have a proper dark room to develop. What camera do you use?”

“A Canon Canonet and I love it but I think I might get a Leica next. It’s just hard to let go of the first camera you fall in love with, isn’t it?”

Ella giggled as she nodded, “It really is.”

“Can I give yours a look?” Matt asked, genuinely curious about her gear and she nodded with enthusiasm.

She handed him her Minolta X-370, telling him how she had started in digital when she was in highschool before she saved up enough to get a second hand Olympus OM-10 in university and that was when she had fallen in love with analog photography, that had only led her into a massive spiral of film photography which was now one of her true passions along with videography.

Ella let him take a few shots, telling him how many shots she remembered to have left on the roll and she loved being able to bond with him over photography.

Alex was a few steps away from them when he saw them standing next to each other, sharing a high five. Her arm was on his shoulder while he held her camera in his hands and something inside Alex stung. His jaw tightened but seeing her smiling big after what had happened before made him loosen up again, stubbornly grateful for his friend for bringing back the sight.

The singer cleared his throat and they both brought their eyes up to him. “Hey mate. Was just telling Ellie how I’ve been into film photography since we were 16 and she let me give her camera a go. Can’t say I’ve ever used a Minolta before.” Matt explained, seeing the obvious unsettled feeling his friend was showing.

“Now that I know you take film, promise me you’re gonna send me your scans.” Ella pointed at him seriously, “The pictures you get while on tour must be stunning.”

Matt chuckled and gave her back her camera, “They are. I’ll send you some later.”

A tiny shriek came from her as she hugged Matt briefly, “Okay, I’m going to check on Ben and Aaron now, see you in a bit.” Her steps were fast, making her miss the sigh Alex left out after her abrupt goodbye.

A few minutes later, she had received a call from the actor telling her that he was at the place, so she met up with him and brought him over to get ready. It didn’t take long for the man to be in his costume which consisted of some jeans and an orange flannel.

Taking advantage of the energy they all still had, they didn’t waste more time and drove to a gas station that had allowed them to film, a mile away from them.

Once there, everyone took out their equipment and settled for the filming to resume. Matt had to act like he beat the man up in exchange for his clothes, since the drummer was playing a fugitive who still wore that typical inmate orange jumpsuit.

In the middle of the filming, Matt had started complaining about being hungry and not subtly commenting how good the food from the place crossing the street smelt like so Ella was sent over to the tiny restaurant and came back in record time with a big burrito in her hands.

Matt thanked her and went straight for it, the camera even catching him eating while he was supposed to be in character, driving Alex and Cali. She was sure the editing team would still use the shots though, since they looked so natural and weirdly accurate for the plot.

When the drummer came back out of the car, munching on his food, Ella took the chance of teasing him. “You know, you look like a proper southern dad. A farmer dad.”

Jamie and Nick doubled over in laughter, “Oh my god, he does!” exclaimed the bassist in laughs.

“Mate never move to the south of the states and have kids, it isn’t a good look.” Alex added, struggling to keep the laughs inside.

“You’re all jealous because I’m the main character now.” stated Matt, which earned him multiple head shakes and sneers.

Ella snorted, “Trust me Matt, no one’s jealous of that look.” And with that, laughter rained up on the group.

Their amusement was interrupted by Ben wrapping the evening up, signaling everyone on the Focus Creeps crew to pack up and fit everything back in the bus.

They drove up to the hotel the band was staying at, Aaron having managed to get rooms at the same place for a night.

At the lobby, the crew separated into groups and made a line to retrieve their keycards. Everyone with a backpack on their sides and a tired look on their faces. The British men were far too tired to wait until they were done, deciding to just say goodbye right there and go to their rooms.

Alex went up to the directors, shaking their hands and saying goodnight. The rest of his mates doing the same, and despite wanting nothing more than to hug Ella goodnight, he had to settle for waving her goodbye just like he did everyone else.

She gave him a shy smile and a tiny goodnight that definitely didn’t reach his ears. And with that he went to the elevators, eventually passing out in his bed with her on his mind.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

They had a good night of sleep, despite having to wake up early to have breakfast and check out as soon as possible. They should be arriving at Los Angeles before one in the afternoon, and with a six hour drive ahead of them, they needed to fight the clock.

Her brain had been swarmed by thoughts and she cursed her tendency to overthink for keeping her up longer than she had wanted to.

Ella knew people had noticed how close she was with Alex throughout the day and she knew questions were coming but the palms of her hands still clammed up when multiple people approached her in the lobby wanting to know details on the situation.

She had denied everything, swearing none of them felt any type of way towards the other—even though she knew she’d let her hopes rise up and it had ended up poorly for her. She denied having kissed him when they asked her, even if she’d been thinking about how that would feel all day.

She told them all how he was flirty with everyone, it was his personality so they shouldn’t think anything else about it. She was glad half of them shut up after that, the other half smirking at her, calling her lucky or mocking her words as if to say she was full of shit.

Ella got ready and had breakfast quite early, pinching an Advil from one of her coworkers for the slight headache she’d woken up with this morning. Today was packed: they’d be driving back to Los Angeles and basically recording the whole day, for as long as the sun decided to stay up; so she really needed this headache to go away.

They ended up loading the bus and heading off back to LA before it hit eight, managing to arrive at their location a little bit over one in the afternoon.

It was good that the crew was quick and effective, setting everything up in less than twenty minutes, enough time to have Matt ready and Breana, the new model, getting her hair and makeup done as well.

They were propped up inside an abandoned police station in the middle of the desert. It had a couple of jail cells, a tiny medical wing and some offices for the staff that used to work there.

Right when the cameras were ready to go, Ben had Alex walk through hallways to be recorded like that. He was wearing his typical jeans and leather jacket, with a simple shirt but always loyal to his sunglasses, even indoors. Matt was in one of the cells wearing an inmate jumpsuit, being filmed by two people and guided by Aaron.

She was running everywhere, being needed for small things every five minutes, even having to leave the premises with one of her coworkers to retrieve the rental car they had gotten that was the same make and model from the one they had used in San Francisco the night before.

Ella smiled at Alex when they made eye contact as she made her way to Ben. “Rental is here, we have Breana ready in the wedding dress and Aaron is still over there with Matt, I don’t really know how much he’s got left.” she informed her boss, to have him make the decision on what to do next.

Ben nodded and thought for a couple of seconds under the gaze of multiple people, “Let’s go ahead and do Breana’s shots outside while Aaron finishes up with Matt.”

“Alright, I’m gonna let him know.” just as fast as she said that, she left.

Alex knew that after Matt’s comment on set, she had retrieved back into that shell of hers. He wanted to know why, not trusting himself to come up with his own answers. The one thing he knew is that he’d try to make her feel better today, in any way he could. He’d just have to trust he’d have his chances.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

His luck had run out, or that’s what he thought had happened as he had no chance of talking to her at any moment throughout the day.

When she was free to talk, he was being filmed. When he was given the light to stand back behind the cameras, she was outside filming with Ben and Breana. When he could see her coming inside the building, she was way too busy for him to try and approach her. When they all went outside to join the other part of the crew, he had to go in the car to film with Matt and Breana.

Ella was on full work mode, it was hard to believe she was fighting a resilient headache that hadn’t died down even after the pills she’d taken. She was constantly asking Breana if she was alright, knowing she had to be somehow uncomfortable in a big wedding dress, in the middle of the desert under the blazing sun. A total of four water bottles is what the model had gone through, and Ella was slightly concerned as she was on her fifth bottle herself and she wasn’t the one running for the camera.

Ella trusted her though. Breana, or Bre—how she had told Ella she could call her—, was so nice to her. She had been making her laugh in between takes and she was grateful for the lovely distraction being the model and not Alex.

Maybe, she thought, I can get used to not being distracted by Alex and keeping it professional if I keep busy enough.

Now, after hours since Aaron and Ben had decided to wrap up on the desert scenes and they had all gone to a new hotel close to where they were filming the next day to shower, the whole group had followed someone’s suggestion on a bar nearby and they were surrounded by very American decoration—too neon for her tired eyes—and the constant chatter and clinking of glasses against each other.

The thuds of balls hitting the pool table’s wooden borders were surprisingly loud over the old juicebox machine that was playing some country song she could remember listening to on the radio when driving around the countryside at six years old in her dad’s truck.

Places like this brought her back home, and she found herself rubbing her fingers over her little cowboy hat on her arm while she took sip after sip of her rum and coke, absentmindedly nodding along at her coworker's story from her sister’s bachelorette party.

“Thank God her best friend didn’t end up calling those strippers or my grandma would’ve fainted and made her kick her out before the evening was over.”

Taking that as a cue, Ella straightened up and excused herself to go over to the bar for a refill. The place was fairly busy for a Sunday night, so instead of going back to her friends while she waited for the bartender to take her order, she leaned on the side of the bar’s varnished wood countertop.

“Excuse me.” She heard someone say softly to the couple talking to her right, they nodded towards the person and stepped aside to give him some space.

Of course she didn’t need to turn to see who it was, Alex Turner himself was standing beside her, looking as handsome as ever and smirking down at her.

“Fancy seeing you here.” he greeted, his smirk only growing when she rolled her eyes and blushed.

“Hey Alex,” her voice was soft and if he wasn’t right beside her, he could’ve missed her words. “You enjoying yourself?”

She was adorable, going all shy, and Alex felt slightly bad for coming over with the intention of being explicitly flirty with her but he also wanted to shoot his shot and see her reaction. “It’s been good so far. I actually came here to tell you something.” he left his words lingering in the air and she frowned at the mysteriousness of it all.

He was still smirking though, so it was confusing her a little, “What’s up?”

“I think there must be something wrong with my eyes,” he started and she got a tiny bit closer to see right into his eyes so she could see if he’d gotten anything in them, but he caught her off guard with what he said next, “I can’t seem to take them off of you.”

Ella could feel her cheeks burning up, her jaw had fallen slightly and she almost let out a scoff in disbelief. She ended up laughing as she shook her head, “How much have you had to drink?”

He shrugged and completely evaded her question, “I mean it.” Truth is he had only had two pints of beer, he wasn’t even drunk.

She was sure it was impossible for her cheeks to go redder but they had and she felt them hotter than ever, “Oh Alex, stop it.” she stared at the ground and shook her head.

The bartender caught her attention then and she got another glass, filled almost to the rim. She tipped the man good for the generosity, she really needed the liquid courage if Alex was saying shit like that to her.

But before she could keep the conversation, he leaned into her ear and with his arm snaking around her waist and said “See you around Ella.” and with a gentle squeeze of her side, he left her there, blushing and breathless.

Fucking hell, so much for keeping myself distracted from him.

Thirty minutes later, she felt like she was in those movies where you get stuck in the same day, over and over, because Alex was by her side once more while she waited for the bartender to make his way around to her.

She turned to her side to face him and before she even had the chance to say something he gave her another flirty line, “Serious question,” she nodded at his fake appearance of curiosity, already feeling her cheeks turning crimson by whatever he was going to say, “How does it feel like to be the most gorgeous girl in the room?”

Ella was expecting a pick up line but not that pick up line and she definitely went bright red. She covered her face so he couldn’t see her like that but he had been staring at her face, he hadn’t missed the way she’d blushed even if he’d only seen it for a second before she’d use her hands to hide.

“Alexxxx” she whined, not knowing what else to say, because what could she say after that? She never had a clue of what she was supposed to respond to pick up lines and the fact that it was Alex saying them made it even harder to think. Not just a response, anything. Anything at all.

He hummed in satisfaction, smirking at her,“I like it when you say my name like that.”

Something inside her flipped and she felt a tingling feeling travel all throughout her body, specially feeling those words between her legs. She wouldn’t even dare to open her mouth, scared of the noise or whatever words that would come out so she stuck to shaking her head.

A few seconds later, she pulled her head back up from between her hands, “Do you always tell girls the same lines?”

He shook his head confidently, “No, I promise this is the first time I’ve ever told a girl that last one.”

Ella narrowed her eyes at him, “I don’t believe you.” He’s full of shit, there’s no way he hasn’t used that one before, she thought.

He grinned softly at her, as if to reassure her, “It’s a promise and I don’t break those Ellie.”

In the same second her name had left his lips, the thud of a glass being put on the table was heard. She slapped some ten bills on the side for the man who served her to take and she turned around to the singer to lift her glass up and down her double rum on the rocks.

He chuckled at her, as she wiped a drop of alcohol from her chin and licked the finger she’d done it with. “Okay, easy there Ellie.”

She was feeling a little bit braver by now, and still not believing him she dared him, “Don’t you have any cheesier lines left, Turner?”

He smirked, “Yeah, this one,” he cleared his throat and started, “Excuse me, I don’t mean to intrude, but you owe me a drink…” he took a pause, his facial expression dramatic as he put up a character to deliver the line correctly. Ella was expectantly waiting for the next bit, slightly growing impatient even if it had only been a pause of five seconds, “Because when I saw you, I dropped mine.”

She burst out laughing, not believing him for using that cringey line. “Has that one ever worked?” she asked between giggles.

He smiled amused at her laughter, “To be honest, I don’t think so.”

They both doubled over in laughter, the alcohol making the situation funnier than it was but she was laughing with him and that’s all that mattered, and as she stayed the rest of the night with him, talking and sharing drinks, it made him feel even more pleased. It was a feeling that stuck with him even after the rest of the band and some of the members of her crew joined them for the rest of the night.

After the short walk back to the hotel from the bar that she’d done beside Diana and Tyler, she went up to her hotel room. The night was quiet, hallways echoed at the slightest step you took and it felt like you could startle everyone awake on your floor when you closed the door to your room, but her brain was in a frenzy.

As she dumped micellar water on a cotton pad to take off her makeup, continuing with every step of her nighttime routine, it seemed like her mind wouldn’t shut up about the bar and Alex. Alex at the bar. Alex at the bar with her. Everything he had said at the bar. All the fleeting touches she could still feel on her skin.

Ella felt like screaming at herself, to shut it all up. She couldn’t get her hopes up for some cheesy pick up lines he could’ve googled five minutes before approaching her, for some hugs that maybe were usual for him to give around, for the behavior that maybe was his normal way to be.

He could be flirty with everyone.

She didn’t necessarily know him that well to tell if this was special treatment or if he was that way with every lady he got close with. And on top of it all, he had been drinking, and under the influence she was well aware people tended to turn more flirtatious than usual. Her older sister was living proof of that, and she shivered at the flash of memories that came to the front of her mind with that train of thought.

She pointed at herself in the mirror while brushing her teeth, her eyes stern and seemingly threatening. You either get a grip or you get someone to slap you into consciousness, she threatened herself and with a nod, she finished getting ready for bed. She only hoped that once she got in bed, sleep would get her as soon as her head touched the pillow.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

It hadn’t been like that.

Her brain did her dirty once again, and she kept herself awake for way too long overthinking. Just like she always did. Her days were a cycle of constant overthinking, that’s why she made sure to keep herself busy, or to keep a packet of cigarettes and her lighter always on her.

This new day was going to be just as exhausting as the one before it, only even harder due to the hangover she was sporting. She’d taken two ibuprofens first thing in the morning, chugged a bottle of water and put on some cheap black sunglasses she’d bought at a gas station on the last spring break she’d celebrated in Florida with her university friends that surprisingly had survived the wear of the years. Her film camera was hanging around her neck once again, making sure she’d have it with her since regretting leaving it in her backpack instead of taking it to the bar with her the night before.

They all drove to a house a couple of miles away from where they had stayed the night. Still out in the desert, the house was very rustic and had a giant backyard. There was a pool and outside of the fences that surrounded the property was an old stable, surrounded by old cars and a junkyard in which the owner seemed to like to play mechanic.

Bre was getting ready and her outfits for the shoot had Ella’s jaw dropping every time. She couldn’t deny how gorgeous Breana was, and to be honest she might even have a slight crush on the model but she wouldn’t do anything about it.

The day was going by smoothly. Aaron and Ben stayed filming with Tyler inside the house, most of the time the crew was kept to a minimum to keep Bre comfortable when she had to film half naked or topless.

Breana was a good sport though, very professional and keeping a straight face and in character even when Ella thought she’d feel vulnerable, because god knows that if she even had to be in her underwear in front of one single camera she’d be blushing and shaking non stop. Ella was in awe of how easy it was for Bre to strip down in front of Matt—who she’d just met the day before—and the rest of the people standing behind the scenes, and basically act like she was having sex with the drummer.

So Ella was running around as per usual but most of the time it was to have Bre be at her most comfortable state, getting her water when she needed it, handing her a robe if she asked for it, asking if she wanted anything in particular or if she was comfortable with the shot they’d just done.

When everyone came outside and it was time for Matt and Breana to be filmed messing around in the pool, Alex finally saw her behavior towards the model and he couldn’t help but silently laugh. Nick and Jamie confused as to what was the laughter for when Breana was topless diving into the pool now, they thought maybe it was funny because of Matt’s reactions to the model and that was the only conclusion they could get at while watching everything unfold in front of them.

When Ella made her way by Alex’s side and sighed, he chuckled under his breath. She turned to him and frowned, slightly confused at his reaction to her coming his way. “What?” she’d asked rather defensively but still lighthearted.

“I haven’t seen someone act like this since I was in primary school and someone had a crush on a girl from their class.” he smirked playfully at her.

She rolled her eyes, blushing at being caught for tending a lot to Breana. “Oh shut up, you can’t blame me. Look at her, she’s stunning.”

He didn’t take her eyes off of her though as he replied rather lazily, “Hmm, I guess she is.”

She turned to him slightly offended, “You guess?”

He rolled his eyes playfully now, “Okay yes, she is stunning.” He stated one more time but was still watching the American girl in front of him intently.

Ella hummed with a doubtful expression on her face while she frowned, “I thought so… Was starting to think you had some real trouble with your eyes then.”

He took the opportunity to bring yesterday back up then, “I tried telling you yesterday, you wouldn’t believe me.”

Something in her went hot and flipped at the same time, “You’re a tease, you know that Turner?” she nudged him with her hip, making him slightly sway to the side.

“I’ve been told that one too many times.” Alex smirked at her, nudging her back with his hip.

Ella had to force her jaw to stay in place, unholy thoughts making way through her mind and she knew she would go bright red if she kept looking at him while thinking of all the ways she could make him prove that.

She looked back to her front, seeing Breana come back out of the water and hugging herself. She cleared her throat and pointed to her right side, “I’m gonna get her a towel.” she muttered and a shit eating grin was plastered on his face from seeing her reaction to such a simple sentence.

As she left, with the slight sway of her hips and the sight of the high rise black shorts she had on and how they contrasted against her tan legs, he also had some unholy thoughts about how pretty she’d look in between his sheets.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Before the trip had happened, and the list was handed to her at the start of the month, Ella had suggested bringing a biker gang to record with the Monkeys. Because what’s more American than a biker gang.

Ben and Aaron had jumped on the idea straight away, and she made sure to find the friendliest group of bikers out there that were down to appear in the video posing as a dangerous outlaw gang.

An hour later since she had left Alex’s side, she had made her way back to where the band—minus Matt—was standing. “Okay so I have a surprise…” she said in a high pitch tone and with her hands clutching her clipboard tightly to her chest as she rose up and down on her tippy toes as if she wanted to jump on her place but was holding back from doing it.

Nick automatically matched her enthusiasm, “What is it?” he asked effusively and Jamie raised an eyebrow and laughed at his mate’s reaction.

“So I hired a biker gang for the video,” she paused and her smile got even brighter when she saw the three men respond positively to her surprise, “and you’re all joining them on the ride while we film.”

Jamie nodded excitedly, “That’s brilliant, thank you Ella.”

She almost screeched, “I’m so glad you liked the idea, for a second before coming here I got scared you all hated bikes or something.”

Alex shook his head, “We actually have ours at home.”

She gasped, “Oh really?!? Oh my god– Okay, okay, let’s go!” She turned around quickly, hoping they would follow her as she made her way to the big group of sixteen people on bikes that were waiting by the side of the big empty road.

The guys chuckled at her eagerness, and went behind her matching her quick pace. Once they reached the bikers, she made sure to introduce them all and thank them for coming and filming with the band.

She’s adorable, thought Alex.

Ben had gotten four bikes for the band, which were standing a little further behind the large group of bikers. Ella made sure to guide them to the vehicles, Matt already sitting on his with Breana sat behind him. They seemed quite cozy for the camera’s not to be rolling anymore.

As the guys chose their bikes, she turned on her camera. Alex was sitting on the bike he’d chosen, putting the helmet on and the leather gloves that were there as well.

Matt opened his mouth, seeing the perfect opportunity laid out in front of him so he asked in a tone that said he was up to no good, “Ella! Have you ever ridden a motorbike?”

She shook her head, “No, but they seem fun though.”

The biggest, most satisfied grin appeared on the drummer’s face then, “Oh I’m sure Alex would love to take you for a ride.” His tone so suggestive, Breana laughed harder than she’d anticipated, having to hide in Matt’s neck to lower the intensity of it.

Nick continued the teasing, “Alex likes a good ride, you’re assured to have fun.”

Jamie not even missing a beat before adding, “Or you could take her for a ride later if that’s what you both want, privacy and all.” The guitarist winked and she was as red as one could be, but she took her camera and used it as a prop to hide her blush.

In the viewfinder she found Alex flipping off Jamie and Nick who were standing on his right side by the bikes they had chosen. She focused the shot and pressed the shutter, rolling the film to have it ready for the next frame.

Alex turned to Helders then, taking his helmet off to talk. Instead of directing his words to his friend, he sent them to Breana, “I assure you Breana, it’s not gonna be a good ride so don’t waste your time.”

Breana laughed even louder, making Ella do the same and the guys exploded in laughter when Matt copied Alex and flipped him off. “Don’t listen to him Bre, I promise that’s not true. He’s just frustrated.”

“Well that sounds desperate now, Matthew.” Ella chatted back after gaining back some composure.

“No it doesn’t, I’m just saying… It’s not a veridic statement.” The drummer continued pushing his argument.

Jamie snickered, “You’re just making it worse there mate.”

Matt huffed, the bandana covering his mouth blowing at his action. “You know what? See ya’ later, dickheads!”

And with that and a shriek from Bre, he changed gears, pressed the pedal and went fast straight into the empty road.

Ella turned around after the cloud of dust had disappeared and looked at Alex who was squinting from the sun’s intensity and his lack of sunglasses on his face. She still had her camera on and in between her hands, so she snapped one last shot of him with his hair all messy from taking the helmet off and sweaty from the desert’s burning weather.

She advanced the film roll one last time before turning her camera back off and letting it hang on her neck. Nick and Jamie had put on their gloves already and were getting the helmets on their heads when Alex spoke up.

“So are you hopping on or not?” his hands were resting on his spread thighs and she had to force herself not to get distracted by those legs and look up to his face.

“I don’t know… Ben and Aaron might need me and I–”

“They won’t say anything if I explain how I’d refuse to get in the shot if you weren’t riding with me.” he shrugged nonchalantly while she was blushing once again. “C’mon, I wanna be the one that gives you your first ride.” he said innocently, no suggestive undertone.

She raised her left eyebrow and replied, “You wouldn’t be the first one.”

“But you said–?” he continued, confused until he saw her face and realized what she meant. He smirked at her sudden boldness, “Well then, we shall see how well you ride.”

And just like that her boldness was snapped away and she blushed harder. Keeping her stare at the ground as she took her steps over to him and the bike, she reached to grab the helmet Matt had left behind and she put it on carefully under Alex’s gaze. Moving her camera to rest on her left side rather than on her stomach.

Carefully she sat behind the singer, not really knowing what to do with her arms. He saw her hesitating hugging him by the waist so he encouraged the action. “Just hold onto me alright? I promise I won’t go too fast.”

She hummed at his promise, scooting a bit closer to his back so she was pressed into him. Her hands clasping each other around his middle was a sight that made him smile hard under his helmet.

When he revved the engine of the bike, her hold got tighter and he laughed at the tiny shriek she let out. “Don’t worry, I got you Ellie.” He squeezed her right thigh briefly in reassurance, and with the thought of how natural it felt to do that with her, he changed gears and started driving.

They rode the bikes for about twenty minutes, mainly following the same path as the bikers. The cameras followed them and she was living for the thrill it gave her. The day hadn’t finished, yet she couldn’t wait for the next time she’d get to ride a bike.

Taking a break in a long dirt field, Matt and Alex stood up from the bikes, Ella still sat on Alex’s but without her helmet now. Alex’s helmet had taken over his seat and they were all smoking Ella’s cigarettes.

Both musicians had teased her for her selection of cigarettes, “Really Ella? You couldn’t get more American.” Matt had said the second he saw the turquoise Natural American Spirit cigarette pack.

Alex giggled, “What does organic cigarettes even mean?”

She excused herself blushing like she always did. “It means the tobacco is organic,” she rolled her eyes, “but okay, let me be, I just wanted to try them. A friend recommended them to me but I’m waiting to finish this pack to go back to my Marlboro reds. I miss them.” she sighed letting the smoke out of her lungs.

Matt continued to tease, “Organic cigarettes…” he shook his head smiling, knowing that he was pushing Ella’s buttons even more.

“Okay Helders, you know what? Just shut up, I’m never sharing smokes with you again.” she scoffed, not annoyed entirely but she was teasing him as well.

“Good for me if I can avoid whatever this is.” he said waving the half burned cigarette.

She rolled her eyes once more before taking a long drag of her cigarette and then tossing it on the ground and quickly stepping on top of it. “Whatever,” she pulled her camera that was still resting on her side and turned it on, “pose for me idiots, lighting looks good here.”

They stayed where they were, chuckling but turned to look at her. Alex took a drag of his cigarette and Matt just stood there with the bandana around his neck now rather than covering half of his face. After she pressed the shutter once, she used the lever to roll the film and took one last picture. She turned it back off and waited for the men to finish smoking.

And right there her thoughts were once again all taken by Alex. She knew smoking was bad—hell, her mom had given her a huge lecture when she’d first found her smoking on a picture in Facebook, telling her all about how your lungs would slowly die and she’d get cancer if she kept that up. She knew it was true but she still rolled her eyes, she’d grown with the smell of burning tobacco from how her dad would always have at least two a day, what did she expect?

But it truly seemed like smoking didn’t do anything but good to Alex. He looked so especially hot to her when he was smoking. And she swore he could be the example of the arguments to fight the debate on smoking, in favor of the scientifically proven murderous addiction.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

The day had gone on, Ben and Aaron didn’t say much about her riding in the back of Alex’s bike. She’d been nervous when approaching her bosses to ask if there was anything she could help with, but she was surprised when they just told her that the bikers scenes had been amazing, they thanked her for the good idea and managing to get such a cool group of people to work with.

She was elated to say the least, a weight lifting off her shoulders at the lack of trouble. She still had had to deal with the curious looks from multiple people on her crew but she was getting used to them now and she had been learning how to ignore them.

One of the last scenes they filmed was of Matt and Breana getting off on top of a UK flag. A fire was burning on a metal barrel beside them, the flames contrasting perfectly against the pitch black surroundings and setting the mood for the couple being filmed.

She wasn’t sure what she was feeling, she just knew Matt and Breana were hot together and she was holding her jaw closed with a bit of struggle. The band was standing with her, Nick and Jamie to her left and Alex to her right. The singer had told his two bandmates about her crush on Breana so that they would keep an eye on her behavior around her throughout the day, so while they were all watching the scene, they’d take turns to look at Ella and the poor job she was doing on trying to keep her reactions neutral.

After what felt like an hour but had only been half of one, Ben had wrapped up the production officially and everyone clapped to themselves and their hard work. Breana was called over by the costume and makeup department and after giving Matt a kiss on the cheek, she left him to get changed. The drummer spotted his friends and made his way to them with a satisfied smile.

But before he could say anything, Ella talked. “Helders, you did a good job… you lucky bitch.” she added that last bit sounding jealous, leaving the man confused.

Alex laughed, “She is a bit too jealous of how close you got with Breana, she’s got a slight crush on her.”

Nick snorted, “Slight? Not at all.”

Ella gasped, turning to Alex who was the only one who had caught her on her crush on Breana. “Alex Turner, you snitch!” she said through her teeth.

“C’mon you think no one would notice?” the singer said in defense.

Jamie aiding his friend and saying, “Yeah Ellie, you’ve been drooling.” The smirk on his face made her roll her eyes embarrassed.

Matt put an arm around Ella’s shoulders then, sighing in a fake defeated tone, “Well, who do I think I am stepping in the way of true love?”

She shrugged his arm off, “Piss off Helders.” she mumbled.

The drummer raised his eyebrows at her then, “You hang out with Alex for a bit and you start sounding British? I’m impressed.”

This time though, it was Alex who replied for her, “Helders… piss off, would ya’?”

Matt laughed, shaking his head and pointing towards Alex while looking at Jamie and Nick as if to say ‘get a load of this guy’. Jamie and Nick gave him knowing smiles, it was painfully obvious that he liked Ella and they were wondering where it would lead to.

Ella had excused herself and gone to help the production team pack everything back up. Keeping the chats with her coworkers to a minimum so she could finish sooner and so she could also avoid any talk about the band—well, Alex in particular.

Since it was a Monday and they had had quite a busy weekend, no one even suggested going out for drinks to celebrate, too tired to think about anything else other than their own beds. Ella had been too, but looking back to everything that had happened in just this weekend alone, had her filling up with a surge of energy that she was struggling to keep down.

Matt and Breana seemed especially affectionate after the production, talking to each other for the hour and a half it had taken for the Focus Creeps crew to fit everything back up on their bus.

Before everyone got to bidding each other farewell, Matt and Breana approached the directors and Ella.

“Ben, Aaron. Was just thinking here with Breana, wouldn’t it be fun if we went to Las Vegas for the day and filmed a bit there? We could get some good footage there.” He sounded very convincing, really trying to sell his idea. Not because he wanted to be filmed more, he’d rather be done with it already but he wanted to spend more time with Bre and Alex to have Ella’s presence for a little while longer too so if this idea would have them that, then so be it.

To Ella’s surprise, Aaron declined on the idea, “I’m tempted to say yes, but we need to go back and start editing and look over the footage just to see if we need to do any reshoots.”

Ben’s addition though was the one that gave her whiplash. “But Ella could go, and film you guys around like she did in the arcade. I know you all get along with her so I’m sure you wouldn’t mind just having her than the full crew.” His suggestion lingered in the air and everyone turned to look at her for an answer.

She opened her mouth to respond but nothing came out of it. Matt looked at her encouragingly, Breana was resting her chin on his shoulder and kept nodding at her to incite her to say yes. Ella sighed and cleared her throat, “Uhm, yes of course I’d love to go.” her voice sounded hesitant as she thought of how on earth she’d go to Vegas if her car was back at the office. “I’d need to go back to the office to get my car though…”

Matt clicked his tongue at her which made her blush, feeling silly. But what had been silly about her comment? How else was she going to go to Las Vegas? In a taxi? That would be worth at least half of her monthly income.

“You’re going with us on the tour bus.” the drummer replied, making her freeze.

“Are you sure?” she had to ask one more time, just to give him the opportunity to take back the offer but he didn’t.

“I am sure.” Matt said confidently, “Bre is coming with us on the bus as well.”

An oh escaped her lips, “Okay, well, erm… Yes, that’s fine by me then.”

Breana let out an excited squeal that made a grin break out on her face. And a minute later she was getting a bag with the camera she’d used at the arcade and a couple more things she could need throughout the day in Vegas.

With her hand clutched on the backpack carrying the filming devices and accessories, and with her other little backpack she’d brought over for the weekend, she walked up to the Monkeys tour bus.

The couple of the hour were there waiting for her and Breana leaped forward to hug her and link her arm with hers to walk into the vehicle. Matt said she could drop her things inside wherever she wanted and that they had enough bunks for everyone so Ella needn’t to worry about anything so she sighed a bit in relief.

The relief only lasted a few seconds since when Matt opened the door to the stairs of the bus, she realized she’d be spending the day with the band and in their environment. With Alex and in his environment. Fuck.

The nerves she had were overpowered by the loud cheering she heard when Breana and her stepped into the main lounge area of the bus. And when Matt opened one of the cupboards on top of the makeshift kitchen sink, grabbed a silver Patron tequila bottle and set it on the table in front of the band, she was weirdly excited and scared for what was going to happen on this trip.

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A/N: Vegas babyyyyy!!!!! I love me a Vegas fanfic moment so it was a blessing Evil Twin mv has Vegas clips in it. That's coming to you guys in a fortnight heheh. Any ideas of what will happen?? I hope these two weeks fly by because I'm hurting not posting the next part right now. Thank you so much for reading!! I hope you liked it and I love hearing any and all of your thoughts so please feel free to share them with me! Have a lovely weekend everyone, see you soon! xx

Taglist: @imagine-that-100​ @red---moon​ @kennedy-brooke​ @faveficz​ @indierockgirrl​ @ladydraculasthings @moonvr​ @unwantedlovergirl​ @eaglestar31

[mitamicah]

Little gig report from a local show I went to this weekend - you can skip if you don't want to hear me babble about bands nobody probably have ever heard of x'D

On June 1st I went to a free concert in Copenhagen that I'd learned about since Cold Culture - a support band from the Blind Channel gig on April 22nd in Copenhagen *aka on my birthday* - was playing there. This was btw also the band where I was talking about the danish Bojan doubleganger x'D

This was such a pleasant time!! I was greeted by every band member of Cold Culture (or the three I'd hung out with after Blind Channel since the last had to take the train home early) greeted me with big smiles which warmed my heart since it then means they remember me :'3 <3 Frontman Mads and Drummer Andy P even ran to hug me when they saw me so I was pretty much dead by cuteness :'D

After that amazing welcome I went around to talk to other people in the crowd. Admittedly I felt a bit odd at the beginning since this is the first gig I've been to in a while where the people arriving there hadn't been fans but mostly just the locals being curious enough to check out a free show in the good summer weather. Despite my preservation everybody I ended up speaking to was very nice and nobody seemed annoyed that a random weirdo began chatting with them. Quite the opposite since later in the evening a couple went to me and thanking me for speaking to them while also mentioning they'd originally went home but decided to come back just to find me and compliment my golden retriever energy (not their words but mine) :'3 <3

One thing that was very different about the crowd was that I am pretty sure the majority was straight OVO as a queer person that has gotten used to be around gals and queers (cough kääryleet and baby boos) this was definitely a change OVO Luckily it was mostly metal heads and/or hardcore guys so there were no drama just odd seeing straight (or "straightpassing" since I didn't ask and therefore know anybody's sexuality) couples being the norm. Cis masc people at hardcore shows I've learned can be very affectionate with their mates - I got invited into a hug-jump circle during one band, screamed my heart out with a guy during another, had somebody randomly pat my stomach (very quickly) and got hugs, fist bumps, dance off and smiles from more people than I can count - mostly from men. And I know I passed as well since not one person called me 'she' and very few mentioned my transness and then only after seeing my pronoun and/or trans pin. I love the one guy that went: "I wouldn't have ever guessed since you have a beard" x'D

All three bands were amazing! I am biased towards Cold Culture however since I knew their music already x'D This time I was all the way up front (no barrikade so I was more or less right in the band's face OVO) screaming along. I got to give Michael (the keyboardist) a fistbump at some point :D

The second band, Ashes of Billy were young (14-15 yrs old) yet still full of energy. That transferred to the crowd that was the most moshy they'd be the whole evening. I almost threw off my shirt at one point because it was so hot :'D Had their show been one song longer I think I might actually have done it x'D

The last band, Daze of June, seemed fairly known to the local scene. They'd had a 2 year break from playing live so the crowd was hungry and it showed! The crowd surfers continued coming and one part of passing I hadn't expected was that I now seemed to be expected to join in on carrying the crowdsurfers (some even eyeing me before jumping out) - that could also be because I am tall and in front but yeah, safe to say I've never carried that many people around during concerts as I did last saturday x'D

After and inbetween concerts I hung out with the band members but especially Cold Culture. I had stolen their setlist in the least stealth way (running to the one by the drummer and then struggled to get the gaffa tape to let go for a minute or two x'D) that I got the boys to sign and I got a picture with Mads and Andy M, the guitarist. Mads remembered the silly duck face that got to be an intern joke between us (me and other fans) at the Blind Channel show so he made it on both pictures. Andy P and Michael would arrive later so I didn't get pictures with them but instead a long, very lovely conversation with Andy P :3

Now I have met them twice I have new thoughts about whether or not I think Mads is Bojan coded. The answer is definitely still yes but with some little additions. As @j-restlessgeek noted, Mads definitely seems to have some facial features that reminds one of Kris. He is more slender than I remember so I'd say he's build more like Jure than Bojan. His eyes are those of a husky tho; big and iceblue. His personality is still definitely closest to Bojan's which might be why the two of us (both very much dog coded) got along so well!! We were pretty much fanboying about each other x'D (he about my art since he follows me on IG and me about his music :'D)

I have no idea if it was just me being extra aware about him once more *I'd been very aware of his presence at the blind channel gig as well* but it seemed to me we caught each other's eye quite often even when not in the conversation together. Had it not been for Mads going to single me out to hug and say goodbye when he had to go I could've sworn it was just me being delulu. He thanked me aton for coming and told me that if I wanted to next time he might be able to get me backstage so that was so very nice of him :'D <33

All in all this was a good way to spend first day of pride month and first official day of summer ^V^

Pictures of me, Mads and Andy M ^V^

Pictures of Mads during Cold Culture's gig (I really dig these ones especially since you get a feeling how freaking close I was OVO)