#did this without a reference and surprised myself lol

[blairaptor]

This one's for the Hunter girlies

[strwbrychffoncke]

"i feel a little less alone,, 5.9k words ⸺ event masterlist synopsis: the notorious & mischevious twins from your class work in tandem to put together a surprise for you contains: lnds luke + kieran x reader ,fluff! ,school au (tbh was going for hs but feels more like college after reading it LOL) friends -> lovers ? ,v light angst ,kind of oblivious!reader (sorry self-indulgent) ,sylus cameo ! (trying to drop hints) ,the twins are really silly here ,twins bickering ,they both like you ,jealous!luke ,they make chocolate together ,confession <3 ,i cant think of anything else my brain is fried note: (unedited! will edit later im too tired rn its too long) hey lol.... making myself complete these before i begin my bday event for myself hehe :x this idea has been in my head for months & finally have the will to bring it to life

-

luke and kieran were menaces.

it was apparent to anyone and everyone that had the pleasure (or lack thereof, depending on who you asked) of interacting with them. they were known tricksters, sometimes called "the crow delinquents," with rumors circulating that they never played fair, that they picked fights often, and hid clubs and shurikens in their lockers and secret compartments of their clothes.

shockingly, most believed these rumors, but you were not most, and thus you figured they were just that: rumors.

the little that you did know about them was 1, they were almost never seen apart (if one was without the other, it would be safe to assume that something was wrong). two, they often hung around an upperclassmen by the name of Sylus, notorious for his own reasons with his own reputation preceding him (and maybe he, the delinquent of the school, was the reason for the rumors circulating the twins). and 3, for some reason or another, they were always lingering around you.

not just one, but the both of them.

whether it was the seating arrangements in class (how did you always end up in the middle, you were unsure), your sacred space of silence during breaks suddenly filled with two voices either ranting, joking, or bickering with one another, the previously empty classroom you sought refuge to enjoy a lunch suddenly filled with two more presences (but how is it that you still wound up being the only one who ate in this time?), and even during your walk home, what once was a leisure time filled with your music now taken up with two boys who started being referred to as "bodyguards" accompanying you to your humble home.

despite this change in your daily life, its not like they were unpleasant, per se.

on the contrary, you very much enjoyed the twins' company in what was otherwise an uneventful day, week, month before they began talking to you. you often kept to yourself, and didn't mind it too much, but now you found yourself snorting at the bickering that broke out between the two that you had no choice but to be witness to, taking note of their preferences and spending your precious allowance on drinks from the vending machine for kieran when he seemed a little breathless, and catching yourself laughing a little too hard at something that luke said bluntly (and more so at the smack he'd receive from his brother).

if anything, you were more confused than anything else at the twins apparent attachment to you.

but well, you weren't exactly complaining. they seemed to carve their way into your heart, and you were more than happy with the new routine set in motion with the two of them around.

-

everything good comes in threes, which is how you found yourself faced with sylus of all people seated in what was supposed to be kieran's spot in the otherwise empty classroom.

you were so shocked at his presence— sitting confidently albeit questionably with one leg bent at the knee towards his chest, foot planted on the seat and the other stretched straight, arm resting on his knee as he flipped a coin over in his other— that your first instinct was to run. while you didn't do exactly that, you simply turned around, hoping that he hadn't already noticed you.

"hey."

dammit.

you stopped immedietaly, but refused to turn around. it was silent for a moment before his voice rang through again.

"come, sit. i wanted to talk to you."

this couldn't be good, could it?

you peeked behind you, only to find sylus piercing gaze already on you.

"i wont bite," he jokes, gesturing to the seat infront of him.

you don't respond but carefully make your way to your seat, settling yourself in before the so-called delinquent.

"where—"

"they're... indisposed, at the moment," he answers smoothly, cutting of your impending curiosity.

you wonder if you should pry, but before you can, he speaks again.

"those two seem to have taken such a strong liking to you that i figured i'd speak to you myself."

you feel your face heat up at his choice of words.

"well... what did you want to talk about?"

sylus leans forward slightly, elbow planted on the desk, hand in a fist where he rests the side of his head.

"what did you do to get them like that? i wanted to see the kind of person that captivated them so strongly."

your eyes widen.

"captivated...? they were the ones who approached me first—"

"they don't go around approaching everyone, now do they sweetie?"

when you think back, you're not even sure you'd see them approach anyone else, usually only sticking with one another and speaking when approached by any student.

"..no, i guess not."

sylus smirks.

"and why do you think that is?"

you fish out your utensils from the wrap, popping the lid off of your container before reaching for the rice while answering.

"actually, ive been trying to figure that out myself."

your gaze is fixed on your lunch now, scooping some rice into your mouth while eyeing what to go for next, missing the incredulous look sylus shoots your way.

"what do you mean?" he murmurs, watching as you pick up a piece of meat and happily chow down on it.

you swallow, taking a sip of water before speaking again.

"well, they kind of approached me all of a sudden one day, and have lingered around me ever since."

realizing how that may sound, your head shoots up, panicked eyes meeting sylus' gaze, waving your arms around in front of you.

"its not like i have a problem with them or anything! i just— i mean—" your gaze shifts to the side before falling back on your food, one hand falling to your lap as the other picks at the warm meal.

"i'm not sure why those two would hang around someone like me, thats all," you mumble, picking at some greens and shoveling them between your lips.

sylus raises an eyebrow at your shift in expressions just moments ago.

you were quite an interesting one, indeed.

he leans back in his seat, his propped leg falling to stretch out beside the other, crossing his feet and folding his arms over his chest.

"have you considered that maybe they like you?"

your eyes flit up to meet his, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

sylus thinks he's got you.

you swallow again, taking another sip of water, setting it down and staring straight ahead.

"well, id hope they do."

sylus' eyes widen ever so slightly. you tilt your head slightly, continuing.

"i mean, they're around me so much, i would only hope its out of likeness and not pity," you finish before shoveling some more rice into your mouth.

sylus narrows his eyes, exhaling through his nose.

clueless, aren't you?

"i meant romantically, sweetie."

your reaction is immediate.

your eyes widen before you let out a series of coughs, reaching for your water bottle in haste to gulp the liquid down and soothe your throat.

"wh-what?" you finally ask between coughs, wiping your mouth with the back of your sleeve.

"is it that unbelievable?"

"well, why would they—"

"boss!"

"y/n~!"

before you know it, you're wrapped up in several arms, with one twin sliding into the seat beside you and sliding his arms around your waist and head on your shoulder while the other stands behind you, arms wrapped around your shoulders and lightly pulling your head towards his chest.

"what are you doing here with our y/n?" the voice behind you asks, playfully accusatory, and you realize its luke.

"yeah, what are you doing here with her? is that why you made us run that errand for you?" kieran, by your side, asks in the same tone.

sylus puts his hands up in mock surrender, the twins' gazes following his movement as he stands up, lazy smirk plastered on his face.

"as i told them, i was merely curious about the person you both can't seem to stop talking about."

the twins' eyes widen, feeling their heartrates increase, sharing the same look of bewilderment as they stare at sylus.

"b-boss!"

"i'll be taking my leave now," he says smoothly, all-too satisfied at flustering the twins. you only squirm in their grasp, but they don't budge.

"and you," sylus makes eye contact with you, stopping you in your futile struggle.

"we'll speak again soon." his voice is laced with promise and you can only nod in agreement before you watch him turn on his heel, and coolly make his way out of the classroom, sliding the door shut behind him and disappearing down the hallway.

you breathe out a sigh of relief and in seconds, the twins slide into the chairs beside yours, lazer-focused on you.

"what did he say?"

"was he talking about us?"

"did he say anything strange?"

"were you nervous?"

they're questions come in rapid fire, and you have to plant a hand on each of their masks to signal them to slow down.

"sorry," they mumble in unison, lightly pushing your hands down, letting them fall into your lap.

"do you want some?" you gesture to your lunch. "i made a lot, so...."

"yes, please!" they answer in unison, their eyes skimming over the meat, rice, and veggies within the container.

already accustomed to their antics, you turn around to allow them to eat with little worry before you begin answering their questions one by one.

"he said he was here to 'see the kind of person i am?' i didn't really understand, but thats what he said."

the twins shared a look behind your back.

"he did mention you both. when i asked where you were, he just said you were 'indisposed.'"

"typical of boss," kieran states plainly.

"anything strange... well, he asked if it occurred to me that you both might like me."

in seconds, the sound of something akin to a shocked screech was accompanied by coughs, and shortly after, someone slapping the others back.

"are you okay?? should i turn around?"

"no, he's fine," kieran answered, making luke chug some juice before looking at him in concern.

"are you—"

"HE SAID THAT!?" luke cried as soon as he could speak again.

"ye—"

"what did you say??" now kieran sounded just as frantic.

"i.. i said i hoped you did like me since you hang out around me so much, because i like you both."

"you..."

"you said that..?" kieran asked, a little breathless.

"y-yeah—"

"did he say anything else???" luke interrupted.

"he..." you trailed off, wondering if you should say it.

'i meant romantically, sweetie.'

you felt your face heat up at the thought of his words again. but why would he say that? surely because he was messing with you. despite what he said or may be implying, you were sure the twins didn't, no couldn't, think that way about you, and so why bring it up and embarrass yourself further?

"he didn't say much else like that," you lied, a little relieved once you heard the twins sigh out in what you assumed was relief.

"were you nervous then? i know how boss may seem," kieran piped up after a few beats of silence from what you assumed was them eating.

"yes, actually. the second i saw him in your spot, i turned around thinking i was in the wrong room."

kieran snorted while luke practically cackled.

"ah, i wonder, hahaha! what he must've thought, ha!" luke pondered aloud, words broken between his pleased giggles.

you smiled at the sound.

you had a passing thought, for just a moment, that you'd like to hear the sound everyday.

the rest of the break was spent as usual, the twins doing most of the talking, making a mental note to talk to their boss later as they relished in what lunchtime they had left to spend with you.

-

if you were to ask kieran, he would say the moment he fell for you was well before they ever even approached you.

while he may prefer to throw himself off of the roof of the school before ever admitting it aloud, you might say that it was "love at first sight." and honestly? his only regret these days is not approaching you sooner.

he remembers the day so clearly, its almost a core memory for him. they went back and forth on the idea of going or skipping orientation, ultimately deciding to go for the sole reason that they had nothing better to do that day.

matching in simple black jeans, black hoodie and black face masks they approached the school together, talking about something he couldn't recall even if he tried.

he remembers nodding along to something luke was saying as he looked ahead towards the entrance of the doors, and thats when he saw you.

you were dressed nicely, nowhere near formal but much nicer compared to him and luke, posture anxious but with promise, phone clutched in your hand, messy pieces of hair falling to the front of your face despite the pins you had-

and then, you met eyes.

it was so brief, just a second, but something about those eyes of yours- bright yet unsure, glittering yet anxious- made kieran's heart skip a beat.

a second later he blinked and you were gone, disappeared behind the entrance doors no doubt scurrying off towards the orientation's location and then kieran remembers luke stopping by his side (when did he stop walking? he wasn't sure) his brothers' hand slapping then resting on his shoulder as kieran held a hand over his rapidly-racing heart.

"hey, you good? whats up?" luke asked out of concern but tone still light, mixed with more confusion then anything, seeming completely unaware of the sensations running through his brother's veins.

kieran insisted that it was nothing, just a little hot he managed to choke out, and despite the clouds almost completely shielding the sun behind them, luke only gave a quizzical look before nodding.

"better get inside, then!" he chirped, patting his brothers shoulder again before returning both hands to his pockets and walking ahead.

kieran knew what he was thinking without him having to say it.

bullshit, but i wont push it right now.

after all, they were twins, and to some degree, their "twin telepathy" wasn't just some inside joke.

the orientation and checking out the classes passed in a blur. all he could recall was your pretty outfit and that look in your eyes.

. . .

when he found himself in the same class as not only luke but you as well, he felt like he might implode.

though, rather than getting involved right away, he thought maybe it was better to keep his distance, that you'd come to him first.

but the longer he waited, the more impatient he got.

and the more time that passed, the more rumors began floating about them both.

he noticed you around, how you mostly kept to yourself, more often than not seen with your headphones over your ears, drowning out everyone and everything, a little dazed and lost in your own little world.

distant, comfortable, alone.

at this point, he began second-guessing himself. there's not way someone like you would willingly hang around some "shady delinquents" that just so happened to be in half of your classes.

not to mention every time he did try to approach you, his heart rate sped up so rapidly he'd always get cold feet last minute.

he was just about to sigh in defeat, faceplant straight into bed and sob his eyes out over his broken heart while blasting sad music when a notification brought his attention to his phone.

it was an email of a group project, and within it the groups that everyone was assigned to.

he opened it, uninterested, eyes skimming over the names in boredom, subconsciously looking for yours.

and he found it.

right next to his and luke's.

his heart lurched.

that evening, he let out a scream so loudly, luke was convinced he had been attacked, so imagine his surprise when he burst into his brothers room only to see him rolling around on the floor.

after that, friendship came quickly.

he, by some miracle, managed to mask his nerves behind his actual face mask and witty banter with luke, shamelessly inserting himself deeper and deeper within your daily schedule until it became natural.

luke followed suit, and though his suspicions of his brothers antics was ever present, he remained, finding solace in your company and reveling in the new addition to tease and chat away to (not with, since you mostly listened rather than spoke yourself, not that he minded, neither of them did).

kieran felt his feelings grow with each passing day, hiding it behind mischievous eyes and dramatics. he would figure out the next step later, he thought.

-

if you asked luke, he would say the moment he fell for you was after he saw you getting hit on.

honestly, it may have been before that, but he just refused to face his feelings, pushing the weird-fluttery feeling he'd get every time you laughed (either by his doing or getting smacked by his brother), smiled (he really likes that expression on you, he feels lucky to be able to witness it everyday), or touched him (either your hands grazing his after handing him a drink from the vending machine or tugging on his sleeve to get his attention, he always thought his heart might just burst right then and there).

this must be a very strong liking towards you because you were so different from kieran and sylus and others, is what he convinced himself of.

that was, until someone appeared to try and snatch you away.

even now at the mention of that day, luke can immediately feel heat creep up his neck, his ears burning bright red, the crimson spreading across his face as he begs kieran to just shut up, already! to which his twin simply laughs his head off.

it was a normal day— at least, thats how it began.

he remembers the part where he made you laugh in class, having a chill period as you three worked on your assignment together. any day he makes you laugh is a good day in his book.

and then, came lunch time.

out of the norm, you decided you wanted to eat outside in the courtyard. it wasn't often you decided this, and you always told luke and kieran they could go wherever else they wished (knowing they probably wanted to hangout with sylus too) but they had insisted they would join you.

and they did. for awhile.

at some point, kieran had said something about talking to sylus about something, saying he'd be back in a blink. that left you and luke for some time, until you offhandedly mentioned a drink you were craving, to which luke perked up and offered to grab for you from the vending machine.

"i want one too, its not biggie! ill be quick, so don't miss me too much~"

he gave a little wave and you laughed before thanking him, watching him walk off before you gathered some more rice together.

. . .

luke was absentmindedly humming to himself, swiftly tossing and turning the drinks in hand as he momentarily wondered if kieran would beat him to returning to you. at least he'd have something for him if—

"—y/n, right? we share the class..."

lukes train of thought seemed to crash.

"..been looking for you...."

he tilted his head to the side.

who...

he took a couple of steps closer, enough to hear but not enough to be immediately spotted.

"im so glad i was able to catch you on your own!"

luke could get a clearer look at the guy that approached you.

he wasn't anything special in his opinion, maybe a little charming if he squinted, dressed decently enough, he thinks as he watches the guy give a nervous yet polite smile your way.

why was he scrutinizing him so deeply?

why was he so irked at someone else looking at you like that?

why did he want to tackle him so badly?

he reasoned with himself that he shouldn't, not when he hasn't done anything.

but if he did....

luke wouldn't hesitate.

"actually, i..."

the guy looked away, scratching his cheek and giving a nervous chuckle.

you urged him to continue, how nice of you, always so nice, luke thought.

"well... i just...."

he took a deep breath.

"i think you're really cute, and wanted to know if you'd like to go out with me!"

luke has never been so filled to the brim with dread.

he quickly garners your expression, and you're nothing less than shocked.

"i... um...." you avert your gaze towards your lunch, pondering.

you're trying to find a way to turn him down.

the guy takes a step closer, holding a hand over his chest.

"come on, give me a chance! we can get to know each other, and if you dont like it, well..."

his words trail off as something behind you catches his eye.

its luke, making a beeline toward you.

"birdie~~ im back with— oh, whos this, is he a friend of yours?"

lukes tone is playful and light, but his eyes are piercing, aimed straight towards the mystery guy.

he doesnt actually know how he got here, all he knows is that his body moved quicker than his brain, perceiving a threat and acting as your shield: namely, wrapping his arms around you from behind, and planting his chin atop your head.

a cute gesture, but this way, you cant see his expression.

"oh, thank you, luke...."

"w-wait, is he...?"

suddenly the student's eyes are wide and shaking, hand trembling as he points towards the protective twin twisted around you.

ah, someone who believes the rumors.

for the first time, luke is actually grateful for them.

"y-you're the one who... he.... i— im sorry, i should've known—!"

"wait—"

you begin to stretch a hand out to gesture for the student to pause but he's already bolted off and out of sight, taking himself towards safety.

luke lets out a sigh.

even with the perceived threat gone, his arms tighten around you slightly.

he can feel his heart racing.

"you're so soft..."

"luke..?"

that somehow snaps him back, and he jumps away from you.

"s-sorry," he mumbles, shaking his head before taking his seat beside you.

"your drink," he holds the can out towards you and you thank him.

"why did he look so afraid?"

out of everything you could ask, thats the first question that spills from your lips.

luke opens his mouth to answer but is beat to the punch.

"thats because of the rumors. we are delinquents, ya know?"

luke chokes on air at the sound of kieran's voice flitting through the air as he reclaims his spot.

"sorry i took so long, i—"

"how long have you been here?" luke cuts him off.

"long enough," he answers deliberately, his eyes with a knowing glint in them.

that evening, luke never head the end of it.

but one thing was now certain in his mind:

he did not like the idea of you with someone else.

especially one that ran at the sight of danger incarnate.

he remembers the way he felt, his heart racing at the memory of you clutched in his arms, like you two were the only ones that existed for a few moments in time, and finally confronted what he'd been running from.

he liked you.

a lot.

what an awful thing, luke sighed, falling backwards on his bed, cheeks warm and rosy.

-

without having an actual conversation of acknowledgement, the twins knew that they both garnered feelings for you.

the perks of twin telepathy.

after acknowledging these feelings, they decided to work together on putting something together for you.

the idea, in theory, was genius.

they would make homemade chocolates (who didn't like sweets?), surprise you with them, confess their undying love, and live happily ever after with you.

except... someone (or two) underestimated just how difficult making chocolates from scratch could be.

"no thats— what are you doing?"

"what am i doing? im trying to follow the recipe!"

"in what world does it need that?"

"its called 'a little extra love,' idiot."

"oh, im the idiot??"

the kitchen was a mess, and their banter filling it made it all the more worse.

at some point, they mutually agreed to take a break.

kieran took a long sip of water while luke slumped down beside him, letting out a long sigh.

"this sucks."

"too bad neither of us is all that good in the kitchen."

"im not even talking about that."

kieran raised an eyebrow.

"i just mean— feelings."

kieran let out an amused scoff.

"feelings suck?"

"god, yes!" luke exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air.

"i mean, who even created love? we should kill them."

kieran snorted.

"you'd rather do that then face your feelings?"

there was a beat of silence.

"probably."

"idiot."

"arent you worried at all?"

kieran shrugged his shoulders.

"of course i am."

"then, why—"

"i mean, they're not the type to just up and run, ya know? they didn't run away when we—"

"when you," luke interrupts.

"when we approached them," kieran continues.

"so even if they dont reciprocate, they wouldnt leave us in the dust."

"...you really think that?"

"i know that, they proved that," kieran emphasizes his words, giving a kind looks towards his brother.

"it'll be okay."

luke sighs.

"i sure hope so."

he moves to stand up, taking kieran's outstretched hand and pulling himself up, dusting himself off.

"god, making chocolates is so sappy, isnt it?"

kieran smirked.

"do delinquents make chocolates?"

luke smiles.

"the best in the world."

-

the twins have been acting strange these days, to say the least.

you like to think you know them well. after so much time together, months upon months, you're quite pleased with the fact that you can tell them apart (not that it was difficult, you learned just how different they were from the very first couple of encounters back then) and your ability to sense shifts in their demeanors.

not that it happens often, but every so often, there's something that slips just enough to let you know something is wrong.

and more and more of those days have popped up recently.

though, rather than annoyed or down about something, they seem a little on edge instead.

you immediately noticed it the first day, when kieran was subconsciously bouncing his leg in class along with luke's fingers dancing across the tabletop.

there wasn't any exam expected today, you mostly took the time to go over your notes and study the current material, so you wondered if there was another reason for the sudden anxious movements.

"are you both alright?"

your concerned tone made both pairs of eyes flit up to meet yours, shimmering to the brim with confusion and worry.

their hearts clenched.

"what do you mean, birdie?"

"its just... you're bouncing your leg," you point to kieran's leg, who's movements seize as soon as you do,

"and you've been drumming for awhile now," you then turn and point towads luke's hands that quickly clasp over one another after pointing them out.

you lean in closer, your heart beginning to race with worry.

"if something's bothering you, you know you can tell me!"

they feel their hearts throb in sync, and glance at each other.

"we know, little birdie," luke begins.

"but, lets just say its a secret~" kieran finishes with a playful tone, one pointer finger positioned in front of his lips.

he drops his hand back in his lap, and you sigh.

"its not any trouble with sylus, is it?"

"nope, nothing like that!" luke reassures with a wave of his hand.

you frown, tilting your head and lowering your voice just a touch.

"you're not being threatened again, are you?"

kieran lets out an amused laugh.

given their reputation, they've become prone to receiving threats from some gangs and other "wannabe delinquents," as luke calls them. they had opened up about this offhandedly before, leaving your mouth agape in shock and now very much more concerned for their safety.

they simply waved you off, laughing and cooing at how cute you are before insisting they can handle themselves. shouldnt you know better than anyone else? they ask in regards to the rumors you're all-too accustomed to, with many random students approaching you to borderline interrogate you about the twins, if the rumors are true, and what your goal is with them.

(the last one always rubbed you the wrong way, your stomach turning in disdain. what do they mean "what your goal is?" if they only knew their true nature, then....

but you held the simmering feelings for the two within your heart).

kieran only shakes his head, a smile adorning his lips.

"nope! not that either."

"well..."

"dont worry," kieran cuts you off, patting your head.

"we're just fine," luke pipes up, giving a thumbs up and unconvincing smile.

you huff out a breath.

"if you say so..."

. . .

the second time is when they ditch you for lunch.

"boss' orders~!" kieran says as he leaves your favorite drink in an apology before scurrying off with luke in tow.

you didnt entirely mind being on your own even after growing accustomed to two extra guests...

but the way they left so suddenly made your heart sink.

you tried to busy your mind by scrolling on your phone as you ate when a knock at the classroom door startles you.

"mind if i join you?"

its the familiar velvet that suddenly surrounds you, grounding you and filling you with nerves and a strange sense of comfort.

you look up to crimson eyes, shaking your head as you gesture towards the seat next to you.

sylus takes his seat, looking you up and down before raising a brow.

"where are those two? its rare to see you by yourself."

you offer him your own look of confusion.

"i... thought they were with you? or, doing something for you. thats what kieran told me, anyway."

sylus' expression morphed into something unreadable before he exhaled sharply.

"sorry, but it seems they're off doing their own thing."

those words felt like a weight on your chest.

doing their own thing..? why would they lie? was it something you did?

your mind reeled.

what could it have been? you wrack your brain but cant think of anything.

did they... get tired of you?

your spiraling state must be showing on your face because suddenly you feel a sensation on your shoulder- a comforting hand.

"hey..."

you look up and for the first time see concern shining in those rubies.

he lets out a heavy sigh.

"you know, before jumping to conclusions, why dont you confront them yourself?"

-

the third time is when you stop by their dorm.

you'd been over a couple of times before, but they mostly spent time in yours, "preferring the atmosphere" they had said once when you asked.

now you wondered if they were simply hiding something.

luke is the one who answers, standing in silence with eyes too wide in shock for a second too long, probing you to wave a hand in front of his face to bring him back to earth.

"sorry, uh, co-come in!" he stutters, stepping aside and letting you in, mentally facepalming as he shuts the door behind you.

"is kieran here, too?"

"yea, he's—"

"who is it, luke?"

"its—"

"its me," you call back, and you think you hear something clatter. theres footsteps, and then he appears from behind the door.

"bi-birdie?!"

your heart picks up as you stare at them both.

"i want to talk."

they share a glance, then lead you to sit down on a couple of cushions on the carpeted floor.

its silent for a few moments, but soon you find the words you wish to say, willing yourself to just try to get through it without crying.

you take a deep breath.

"you know, if you're tired of me, you can just tell me."

the twins eyes resemble saucers. you continue.

"its been a whole week that you two started acting strange. avoiding me, blowing me off, leaving me alone... if you.."

you steady your breathing. you wont cry.

"if you dont... if you dont like me anymore, thats okay, but—"

"who the hell put that idea into your head?"

your head snaps up to kieran, whos tone of voice you almost dont recognize, being the first time you catch what sounds like a mesh of anger and regret within it.

you stare for a moment, unbelieving.

"kieran..."

"no, someone— someone must've said something, right? to put that idea into your head?"

"you... you're the ones who..."

"its not what you think!" luke chimes in, all defense and reassuring merged into his tone.

he turns to kieran.

"i think now's the time."

kieran looks at luke then at you.

"but..."

"lets prove it now, since we havent really been the best...."

kieran takes another moment to think then nods in understanding.

"wait here," he tells you before getting up and retrieving something from the next room.

he come back moments later with a little box.

"we're so sorry, y/n," luke begins, voice drowning in regretful sorrow. he reaches his hand out and you allow him to grasp one of yours.

"we... we were actually making this for you, and, well, we were pretty nervous..." kieran trails off, holding out the box to you.

you look it over, grabbing it with your free hand.

"the... secret?" you ask, remembering that day in class.

they nod.

your breath hitched.

slowly, you pull your occupied hand from lukes and use both to open the box in your lap.

inside are an array of chocolates, your favorite flavors, all in the shape of little crows.

"we made them ourselves," kieran begins.

"so... hopefully they'll taste good, and..."

"they're sort of...."

they take a deep breath.

"its our profession of love to you!" they exclaim together, wholeheartedly.

your heart rate spikes.

their.... what?

"we've liked you for a long time..." says kieran.

"and, we were planning to tell you, a little later, but..."

"we needed to give you this now, to show you."

"we like you plenty, as you can see."

luke smiles when you laugh.

"we're sorry for making you think otherwise," kieran finishes.

now they're looking at you expectantly, and you can't help but to smile, words escaping you at the heartfelt confession.

instead of responding right away, you reach for a cute little crow chocolate, and pop it into your mouth.

they watch your expressions as you take in the flavor.

first curious, then surprised, and then—

that cute smile and hum when something particularly pleases you.

you look up, gazing at the two, who still look like they're bracing themselves for something.

instead, you set the box aside for a moment, reaching forward and planting a kiss on each of their cheeks, smiling sweetly afterwards.

"dummies."

they each hold a hand over the cheek you kissed, half in awe and all in pleasure.

you could talk more about everything later. for now, you offer them some of their hard work, somehow moving together like magnets, sandwiched comfortably between their warmth as you all feed each other the precious chocolate crows.

you'd have to remember to thank sylus later.

-

a/n: why am i releasing this so late..? um as the marias once said ooo its valentines day in the city~ why it turned out so long..? i wish i knew all i can say is i was possessed n needed this out of my system even though theres barely any luke/kieran content out there sigh... sorry for the rushed ending! if this stayed in my drafts one more night i thought i might explode

-

[moonchild-in-blue]

I come crawling on my knees bc who better to ask this than the number 1 Espera fan. 🥺 I've just been thinking about Sleep Token (what a surprise lol), and I'm curious if there's any info on how Ves and the Espera ladies met? Everyone in this band seems so close, so I've been questioning how they all became colleagues and friends. 🥺❤️

AAAAAAAA Crow!!! Thank you sooo so much for this question!!! This is something I've been wondering myself for a long time now, but somehow never really delved into it - this gave me the perfect excuse to do so! 💙

I'm gonna preface this by saying we do not actually have much info about that. This is simply me connecting dots with what little information we have publicly available.

So! We can't really talk about Espera, without talking about Exploring Birdsong. As we all know, they were the opening band for Sleep Token on their first headliner ritual, the infamous St. Pancras Old Church ritual, back in 2018.

This is the first time Exploring Birdsong comes in contact with Sleep Token, and they would be their staple opening band up until January 2020. From there on forward, only their lead singer Lyns and the backing vocalists Paige and Mattie (later known as the collective group Espera) would continue to be performing with the band as live backing vocals (as of 2023 they seem to be permanent live members, as before they didn't tour with them every time).

Now, how did they meet? That's the big question here.

Exploring Birdsong were founded when Lyns, Matt and Jonny were studying music in Liverpool (in LIPA to be precise), back in 2015/16 if memory serves me right. Starting in 2017, they released a couple of singles and started to perform live (with the other 2 Espera girls, before they were a thing). Most (if not all) of their shows at the time were set in Liverpool, Manchester, or around that area.

Sleep Token at the time was playing shows mostly in London and around the south, opening for other bands and such. Quite the geographical difference, so it seems unlikely they would've met then. Even in terms of music, Sleep Token was more involved in the UK metal sphere at the time, while EB were very much in the prog-rock side of alt. music.

In fact, there's this one 2020 interview of EB, right after they finished touring with ST for the last time, that mentions that difference in public between EB fans and ST fans. Here's that excerpt:

To further emphasise that EXPLORING BIRDSONG are making waves they were hand picked to support the enigmatic SLEEP TOKEN on a handful of UK dates which gave them the ideal chance to test the waters and see how their offering would fare in a more metal focused environment.

“The reception was very warm!” Lynsey exclaims. “The crowd were really receptive to our songs. We’re not in a totally different vein to SLEEP TOKEN but I was intrigued to see how we would get on with a more metal oriented crowd. There are definitely elements of our songs which are similar but I was apprehensive how they would react but people came up to us afterwards telling us how much they enjoyed it so I’m really glad.”

Every publication dating 2020 and back that mentions Exploring Birdsong and Sleep Token together, references the fact that EB were hand-picked by ST to open for them (again, they were the staple opener for Sleep Token during that 2018-20 period, save for a couple of dates where schedules didn't align). Which again, is a bit odd given they were in very different scenes, both geographical and musical. As far as I know, none of them (EB) have any connection to any of the guys' past projects, so that can't be it either.

HOWEVER, back in March 2018, Exploring Birdsong announced they would open for the Welsh prog-rock band Godsticks in May 2018, in the Camden Assembly (London).

As far as I can tell from their FB page, this would be their first time as a band performing in London. As we all know, Sleep Token have performed in Camden in the past (Camden Rocks festival in June 2018 actually!) In fact, Camden is a known spot for alt music and culture, so it would make sense for locals (musicians and fans alike) to frequent these places and get to know bands that way.

Funnily enough, Enter Shikari have performed in the Camden Assembly, one of the first bands signed to Basick Records - Sleep Token's first label.

It is very likely that Sleep Token (and I'm gonna go on a limb and say Vessel himself, given the similarity in music influences he has with EB, as opposed to ii and iii who come from VERY different, much, much heavier musical backgrounds) may have seen their opening set, and got in contact with Exploring Birdsong then. They were only announced as opening acts for the ST Pancras show in September, which gives them plenty of time to get acquainted with each other and have that first ritual together.

Exploring Birdsong were already set to be in London in October to support Godsticks again, so it's possible they took the opportunity and invited them to the inaugural ritual.

Now, what's really funny too, is that even though EB would only release their first EP in 2019, they had quite a few singles/repertoire ready (including a few vocal-only covers on their socials).

The most notable is actually their (Don't Fear) The Reaper cover, which was recorded right after their Camden show, and released later that summer, which was recorded in Liverpool's Anglican Cathedral - that's right! They performed in a church months before Sleep Token did 😌

The cover itself is beautiful, the girl's voices are pretty much center stage, and the whole vibe feels both eerie and sacred, not unlike Sleep Token's (especially at the time). I've reccomended it here before, and really can't overstate how beautiful that cover is.

Would that maybe influence ST's decision to have them on board? Maybe 👀 This cover was also featured in Kerrang! Radio (which is a big deal given they don't usually feature covers), so you can say it definitely caused an impact.

This is honestly my best guess as how they came together. I can't find any more links between Sleep Token and Exploring Birdsong aside from this, and given their overlapping schedules prior to this, it seems unlikely they would've come across each other.

I think it's really sweet they heard this random band one day and went - "Yeah. These are the ones, this is it." And to see that friendship continue to exist (the girls now being a seemingly permanent part of their live acts; the guys still supporting each other) is really really cute.

Fun fact, although EB stopped opening for ST in 2020, they were actually all together in 2023, where both Sleep Token and Exploring Birdsong were playing Radar Festival. Given their history, and the fact that the girls were part of both sets, it's likely they were all watching each other and having a good ol' time 🥹💙

If anyone has any more info about how Sleep Token and Exploring Birdsong met, I would really appreciate that!! This is as far as I managed to gather.

I'm also gonna leave a link here to my Exploring Birdsong propaganda post, in case anyone is curious about their music and wants a place to start.

[helslastangel]

My experience having 5H in Scorpio

Disclaimer: These are based on personal observations and experiences and may not resonate for everyone with these placements. If it doesn't apply, let it fly 🪽

I have many "normal" interests (makeup, fashion, hair, shopping, music, TV, etc) and I tell new people about those, but my true interests and hobbies always skewed towards dark or slightly morbid matter, so I keep them hidden. The sheer number of times I have to swallow back a Salad Fingers reference or refrain from giving my opinion on Fran Bow's mental condition in normal conversation... istg...Anyhow, due to my upbringing, I was sheltered from knowing exactly how odd I was until I left home at 18. That's when I got to catch up on some of the shows and cartoons that other people grew up on (for many reasons I don't feel like getting into right now, but "home school" and "radical religious parents" should give you a basic idea).

Thankfully I had a few friends who experienced similar childhoods, some of whom I even grew up with so I could talk about my weird stuff and they could tell me about theirs. For example, I've always been a little fascinated by blood. That whole thing with Angelina and her blood vial necklace did not gross me out at all - I found it cute and I'll die on that hill. Things like blood oaths and so on in history just capture my attention for some reason. Honestly, if the substance itself weren't a bio-hazard, I'd make art with it.

I remember talking with a friend about how I couldn't fully get into Avatar, but out of the little I HAD watched, I developed a very SPECIFIC hyper fixation with blood-bending and deep-dived the topic for WEEKS.I did not give a shit about any of the other bending abilities. Not even normal water-bending. 🫠 Just blood-bending. Idk if it's the power and control factor, or if if I'm just due for a wellness check. Who am I kidding-I have Capricorn & Scorpio stelliums. OFC IT'S ABOUT POWER.

History is another example. My favorite subject. Left unattended, I will look up every deformity that came about by royal family inbreeding or watch a fellow history nerd compile a tier list of the most brutal execution methods of all time. Once, for my birthday, my dad bought me a book called "A Left-Handed History Of The World." That was one of the few times I've felt truly seen by either of my parents. That tome was RIGHT up my alley. I'm a lefty myself and it was nice to read about so many famous and infamous people who were left-handed too. Like Jimi Hendrix - one of my favorite musicians.

I also know a wide variety of herbs, oils and flowers to use to cure or relieve many ailments by heart, and enjoy teaching people how to use those, along with basic reflexology to relieve minor symptoms during the day, so ah, there is that. Not sure how I got into herbology and such, but I do remember being horrified when one of my best friends used to regularly eat leaves off the trees on our street. We were like 7. I kept telling him he would die if he did that and he'd eat more lol. Ofc, nothing happened to him and he was never sick that I remember. So ever since then I was fascinated by the idea of using leaves to feel better.

(Yes, I smoke weed now - are you surprised? lol)

I also enjoy doing synastry readings for friends, family, coworkers, etc., when they're feeling lost or confused about a crush/friend/partner. It's always nice to see their faces light up with understanding when I explain a certain dynamic or give them advice on how to clear up recurring miscommunications. Most of what I enjoy is kinda witchy, but it's not all horrifying, lmao. Like children. Can't mention 5H Scorpio without kids coming up, lol. I was obsessed with the idea of children when I was a lot younger. I had names picked out for them, I would imagine their personalities and somehow they were always stubborn and unruly (I think subconsciously, I enjoy a challenge). In my daily life, anyone or anything in my care automatically became my child in a way. I actually wanted 6 kids at one point. Or some large even number. Babysitting was never a chore for me because I genuinely find children sweet and entertaining.

Even the supposedly misbehaved ones. They need love too. ❤️

Speaking of obsessions, I am a highly possessive person, but because I also have Venus in Scorpio + Mars in Cancer, I'm prone to have VERY strong reactions to rejection, betrayal and the like. For me, though, these are usually implosions. Being a Virgo sun, Capricorn moon, I generally refuse to let my inner turmoil get out into the public eye unless I feel like showing it.

So at any given time, I can be SEETHING inside, but look cold and unbothered.

Having 5H Scorpio is also often associated with being extremely creative, and....IT'S TRUE OMG. I love interior design and decorating, and lots of aesthetically pleasing crafts like crochet, origami, embroidery, etc. Sometimes I waste a phenomenal amount of time at work to make a spreadsheet pretty or play with the fonts in a document. I can't help it, I need to make things look beautiful and stand out.

I am easily consumed by whatever I'm into, and I guess that would be a bad thing if there were people relying on me to be emotionally present on a regular basis, but since it's just me, I get to be lost in my passions most of the time like Frankie (from the TV show Grace and Frankie, lol

𓆩♡𓆪

MASTERLIST

[iamnmbr3]

Any chance of another excerpt of the drarry letter writing fic? hope you post it soon

Oh. Sure. He's a bit that takes place a little after the first excerpt. At this rate I'll end up posting the whole thing on tumblr lol. Anon is referencing this.

Potter,

Yes, yes, how very devious and Slytherin of me. I’m sure no noble and chivalrous Gryffindor would ever dream of doing something so convoluted and scheming. 

I know what a telephone is. I even know what to do when it starts making noise (now). I talk to muggles quite a lot, actually, as I live in a muggle neighborhood. They all seem to think I’m a refugee from some foreign country where we did things very differently. I’ve received many compliments on my English, which is, I’m told, nearly perfect. 

I’ve told them there was a war, that bad people tried to seize power and do terrible things, so I suppose they all think I was very brave and clever to have escaped and hidden myself here since they don’t know I was on the wrong side. Much of the wizarding world doesn’t want to have anything to do with me so it’s rather nice to be around people who do not know who I really am. 

I have also been trying to learn more about the groups and viewpoints I was raised to despise. I wonder now whether much of the hatred of muggles was born, not out of a sense of superiority, but out of fear. What they have accomplished without magic is truly incredible, though I still don’t understand half of it. And I’ve gotten much better at blending in, though they do still look at me strangely sometimes. How was I to know cars aren’t pulled by invisible animals? What makes them go then? 

Did you really get into trouble that often when you were growing up? I should have known, given all the detentions you got when we were at school (though not as many as you should have – I still don’t know how you managed to get out of half of them). I suppose I always imagined your family had been fairly indulgent with you, given your background. 

Most of my detentions were because of you. My parents were not pleased. (You never even thanked me for not saying anything about that stupid dragon in first year by the way).  And for the last time, letters should be written on a clean piece of parchment. Not on the back of someone else’s note. You’re supposed to save correspondence for future reference. Not send it back like it’s worthless. 

Yours,

Draco 

P.S. I don’t think your single mistake quite matches the magnitude of my own grievous errors. Especially as I had tried to use an Unforgivable on you at the time. And I’d nearly poisoned you and two others not that long before. I think about that a lot. If you’d all drunk at once, all three of you could have died. And what would have happened then? There would have been no one left to stop Him. Because of me. 

***

Draco,

You might be surprised. I was actually nearly sorted into Slytherin. The Sorting Hat only put me in Gryffindor because I asked it not to put me in Slytherin.   

I like walking around muggle London too. Nobody stares at me. It’s nice. But it’s also a little strange that no one knows about the war. It’s like it never happened for them. Do you get out into the wizarding world much anymore? What have you been doing with your time these days?

Auror training is hard, but I like it more than school in some ways. All the classes are practical and I can see the use of everything I’m doing. I never much enjoyed essays or theory lessons in school when I couldn’t see how they connected to my life. 

You asked about my childhood before Hogwarts. I was brought up by my Aunt and Uncle; they didn’t like magic - or me - very much. It’s not something I talk about that often. 

 More importantly though, you did say something about the dragon. And then Ron and I got blamed for making it up in order to try and get you into trouble. McGonagal took so many points off Gryffindor that no one would talk to us for weeks. (Snape would never have taken points off of Slytherin like that.)

I hope you like this parchment. I bought it specially today in Diagon Alley just for you. 

Harry 

P. S. Sometimes I think about all the things that could have gone so much worse during the War too. And all the things that could have gone better. I meant what I said at your trial though. I think you wouldn’t make the same choices today. And I think you deserve a chance to prove that. I know Dumbledore thought so too. 

P. P. S. I liked your story about the muggle cars. For future reference there is a special liquid inside them called petrol that makes them work. I don’t really know how either. I do know they have to add more regularly or the car stops working. My Uncle used to complain a lot about how expensive it was. 

***

Harry,

The Hat nearly put you into Slytherin?! That would doubtless have been a disaster. Though you are certainly cunning enough. I never worked out how you were cheating at potions in sixth year. I’m curious though. If you didn’t grow up knowing much about our world, what made you ask not to be sorted into Slytherin?

I know what you mean. The muggle world feels very refreshing but there is so much they don’t know about that I never fully feel a part of it. Of course, these days I don’t feel that I really belong in our world either. But maybe that’s good and means our world is changing for the better.

What have I been doing with my time? Not as much as I would like to be honest. Shockingly, proudly espousing abhorrent views and having been associated with a fanatical cult of bigoted murderers does not improve one’s job prospects. You’ll probably laugh but I actually thought about becoming a Healer. I passed all the required N.E.W.T.s last year but of course who in their right mind would ever hire me? 

You’ll definitely laugh at this but I’ve opened up a specialty repair shop for complex magical artifacts. Even in Knockturn alley there are people who don’t want to be seen talking with a (former) Death Eater so I take commissions by owl and floo call about half the time. The work itself is surprisingly interesting. (I was actually quite good at Charms in school. I probably would have gotten an O on my Charms O.W.L. if you hadn’t sabotaged it.) Do you like Auror training?

Of course Snape would never have taken points off Slytherin if he could help it. That’s why he was clearly the superior Head of House. I read the interview you gave about his role in the war. I suppose his dislike of you was just an act then, to throw us all off? I should have known. No one could know you and dislike you that much. And there I was thinking he actually favored me. 

As for the dragon, I had to give some excuse for being out that late at night when I got caught by the scariest Professor in the school. And the truth was the first thing I thought of. However, I would like to remind you that Ron Weasley left a rather imprudently specific letter from his brother in a book I borrowed from him. That’s how I knew where to find you. And I never showed it to anyone. So really I think thanks are in order. 

Draco

P.S. Your aunt and uncle sound like they held the muggle equivalent of my own family’s attitudes. You deserved better.

P.P.S. Using thestrals sounds a lot more practical. 

[maniacpixiedreamboy]

ok ok so ive never watched a playthru or played it myself but in mouthwashing, does jimmy display symptoms of schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder? bc some people call him psychotic/schizophrenic when referring to the horrible shit he does and as someone who has severe depression w/ psychotic symptoms (and schizophrenic family) it does not feel great lol.... considering how bigoted fandom spaces are in general it doesnt surprise me. but idk at least if there's some basis for this in the game and its not just usual fandom head canons being ableist I'd understand

curious as to your thoughts on this! i know this is probably not ur area of expertise but i am interested in seeing what u think

hiii! (You should def play it or watch a playthru I think you’d enjoy. Jimmy is so….i love him I just ignore the fandom.)

I’m gonna preface this w I don’t have any sort of psychotic symptoms (that I know of lol.) but like. I get where the fandom is coming from? But I don’t agree w the him experiencing psychosis/BPD symptoms/etc = him being a bad person. His life + experiences + their hyper capitalist reality + his closest friend brushing his warning signs under the rug just snowballs and makes him worse and worse. I have such a love hate relationship w Jimmy bc like. Yes he did a very bad thing. But also like! It didn’t have to be that way! If he got help the game just. Wouldn’t happen. But also like! Even without his symptoms he’d be a bad guy which is something to keep in mind.

he canonically hallucinates in the game. Personally I think Jimmy has some sort of schizophrenzia (or general psychosis? Not sure. I’m not a psychologist.) + npd + bpd.

it’s really heavily implied he’s someone who never got help for his issues and his closest friend (Curly) constantly downplays his issues (which makes Jimmy worse. I think Curly insists Jimmy is ‘normal’ and just insists he needs sleep/water/vitamins/etc which just makes things worse.

Mouthwashing is also set in like a hyper capitalist world where mental health is like. Not a concern at all really. Even the psych evaluations that happen in game are really only to ensure everyone can do their job. And the only tool given to solve issues within a crew is a gun.

Pony Express (the company in the game) only allows employees 5 hours of break (yes this includes sleep time). So like. Jimmy is not only facing mental health problems but also + isn’t sleeping enough at all + stuck on a ship in space. Basically. He’s not doing good.

I think there’s a lot to be said about mouthwashing + capitalism and lack of mental health resources/discussion.

[riflehound]

hi guys UM. so im questioning being intersex, specifically some form of CAH. i have always felt different from both girls and boys throughout my life (which i originally attributed to being trans or something) and i think this could be why.

i had to see an endocrinologist around puberty age (i was referred for trans reasons) and they did hormone testing on me, they decided NOT to put me on any gender affirming hormones, and would keep delaying giving me gender affirming care by saying "yeah we will next year!!" (for 4 years)... despite them not giving me any gender affirming care, theyd still check my hormone levels regularly. in my early teens (13-14ish) theyd start doing physical exams too. at one point they wanted to do a surgical procedure on me?? but i cant remember what it was, and i was probably lied to about it anyways. insurance wouldnt cover it, though, so they didnt. they told me i will be short as an adult, and that i may have bone density issues... (which both seem to line up with CAS, from what ive read!) they also gave me a birth control medication known for feminization effects that is often used in transfem gender affirming healthcare, when i specifically told them i did not want to be feminized. i looked it up at one point at like 14 and its some progestin medication, i felt really sad that my doctor lied to me. they would also stress that i might become infertile and need to freeze my eggs, which i would repeatedly say no to, and theyd keep asking.

before i was born, all forms of hormonal screenings showed that i would be born male. my mom has told me this, she said she had boys names picked out for me because doctors predicted id be born male. they were surprised when i wasnt. i dont know if this is including ultrasounds or not??? but i know that based on my hormonal levels before birth and development, they predicted id be born male and were surprised when i wasnt. i also know my puberty wasnt ""normal"", my periods have always been irregular and ive had more body hair than most girls... there is more stuff, too, but id rather not talk about my genitals on the internet LOL

does anyone have any advice here?? what should i do?? im scared to seek a diagnosis currently with trumps ongoing bullshittery... but i dont know if im "allowed" to use the label without a diagnosis. am i allowed to call myself intersex or should i avoid it? should i seek a diagnosis even with the current legal stuff ongoing? any input would be greatly appreciated, thank you!

[sovlstr]

Maria Giovanni x Sans Gaster

The wolf and willing mouse

——————

General rant involving personal matters and past trauma, check tags for reference.

As much as I enjoy tumblr, I find that anytime I use it I am doomed to come across things I don’t like. I mean, thats a given, but when its past the “2016 ship and let ship phase” of the internet, it gets tiresome. “Why cant we bring back 2015 internet when everyone was chill with random incest?” because most of us were barely pushing middle school and most definitely didn’t know better. Call it a failure of the adult fanbase, introducing amino and tumblr and deviantart to many young and impressionable people that came to see it as normalized. Thankfully, most of us have moved on and realized the faults of the past- our parents, or a lack thereof- and the enablers of the fandom that got away scot free.

It comes as no surprise that me, and many others, are not particular fans of the “solygbm” story, with its slander of characterization- Sans a rapist, Grillby a pedophile, abuse fetish, and ever so diligent self inserting of the author. Thats not to slander it- if you’re into the taboo, just indulge responsibly in designated areas is all I ask. I do come to find it repulsive though, as a “victim” to it. You would think that even as an ex frans and sans fangirl, I’d be more tolerant to it. Well, ex proshipper, as result of 7-10 years sca. The amino incidents… did make it worse but hey, character development or something.

It was never something publicly shared or indulged in- I think I knew better- but god did it fuck me. I do indeed blame the incest I was exposed to as a child, apparently was so normalized to the fault I hadn’t realized it until maybe, 13-14. Once hating that I’d become the example every anti use(proship affects young people and reality yadda ya). But there is such a fortunate truth in that argument. Thankful to god I had a mother who supported me through it all, god bless her sweet heart. Regretting the things I was enabled in- yea, looking at you RivenSkies on Amino. Imma catch you one day, you and that guy who harassed 12 year me for drawing humanized Rarity in random deviantart outfits.

Besides those faults, the problem with aus and is that one really can’t disconnect from that part of the fandom, being such a significant fixation and infouence that would issue losing some of my most valued friends. People that I’ve come to trust as of now, which is why I’m fine with people knowing this. I’ve simply decided to, for my own sake, stray away from the fandom itself. Undertale AUs, I mean.

Fiction is such a major component of reality. If I physically didn’t feel myself cringe and my heart sink a little lower every time I stumbled upon- and you know who you are- a frans post, when I’ve done what I can to reduce the sight from my mind, then I wouldn’t argue that fact so much. But it really does. Especially when its characters you have watched and mimicked for such a large majority of your life. Let’s face it- every fandom is fucked up. It seems the more innocent the game the more dubious its fans are. I really cant figure it out why but honestly, the aus and stories are the main factor keeping this fandom alive. Thats the charm of it all.

Anyway, backtracking from my thoughts on this favorite fandom of mine. I’ve decided that for my own sake, I spend a bit less time on this platform. Even all its gifts and glory, I really just can’t risk my happiness for something so rapant in the fandom. Im thankful for the people who have made this experience the best it was. Sorry if I scared anyone, this sounds awfully lot like a goodbye note LOL. Just expect activity to be ~3/4 times a week, short spurts of checking in and saying hi. Instagram- with Tiktoks awauted ban and increase of dubious content(cant search up anything without seeing 🌽), has became my safe haven. I have a larger audience, more actives oomfs, so much content to explore and hopefully better filtered tags. Feel free to reach me, whether on Insta or just here.

Final note! I will be posting all chapters of Don Dew here soon given the risk of ao3 being banned as well. I also barely use the latter and prefer what I’m used to. Thank you for reading ^_^

——————

[cyandreamzaceattorney]

❁ Shih-na and Calisto Yew❁

Rest of post will contain spoilers to aai1 as I can't talk about this drawing without going into spoilers sorry

Yesterday I finished drawing on the first page of my new sketchbook and I had to draw Shih-na/Calisto. why? Because unfortunately I really like this character XD. Originally I went into why I love this character so much, but that was a whole essay and idk who wants to read that lol, but I will say this, it was fun and frustrating at times trying to figure out how to draw both Calisto and Shih-na in my art style, but I think I've mostly figured it out :-).

I also found myself liking Shih-na's dress a lot less after drawing the top part of it. I assume it's meant to be a halter top dress that's vaguely qipao dress inspired??? but idk, it's super strange dress design and after drawing it I low-key hate it (sorry). Still love the irony of her having a heart on her gloves (in the place where a sleeve typically is!)! I was also surprised with how hard I found it to draw Shih-na's hair and both her and Calisto's eyes, but as I said, I think I figured out a way I like to draw these characters and had a lot of fun doing so! Especially since half way doing lineart I bought a new brush liner (the other one is still lost (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；⁠)) and had even more fun doing the lineart.

I'm sure you noticed for drawing 4 and 6 I did different outfits for them, for Calisto I felt like drawing her in a casual outfit, I like to think for her Calisto persona she wore clothes that look simple and casual but, are tacky designer brands, also gave her sunglasses cuz I think it suits the look and, as a reference to some of Shih-na's sprites :3. As for Shih-na, I drew her in a vintage qipao dress I found online but changed the colours to match her canon outfit colours, hopefully I did a good job drawing it, definitely need to study more historical clothing, especially from non-white cultures though.

With all that said, hope you all enjoyed these silly little drawings (⁠ﾉ⁠◕⁠ヮ⁠◕⁠)⁠ﾉ⁠*⁠.⁠✧

[bamber344]

Resolution Within Sight

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This chapter was equal parts fun and tedious to write lol. It serves a dual purpose as a sort-of semi-recap and also pushing the plot forward. fun fun fun!

i was gonna yap on a bit here, but i don't wanna spoil any fun surprises. enjoy!

CWs: sexual references, references to previous abuse/torture, implied minor whump, the inherent indignity of a police investigation, Andreas™

Resolution Within Sight

Vivienne awoke to the sound of rain tapping on the window and a strange, warm, wet scratching on her shoulder. It took her a second to recall last night’s events, but when she did, it all made sense.

“Jordyn, are you biting me?”

The sensation stopped, and the strong arm around Vivienne’s middle stiffened. “Uh… S-sorry, I thought you were still asleep.”

Vivienne rolled onto her back to look Jordyn in the eye. “And that makes it okay to bite me?” She smirked.

Despite the rain washing out her colour, Jordyn looked absolutely radiant. Her hair was still all mussed up and her neck was dotted with hickeys; living reminders of what happened last night. Vivienne could still hardly believe it. Why did she hold herself back from this for so long?

Jordyn’s dark eyes flicked to the side. “Uhhh…”

Vivienne laughed, grabbing Jordyn and pulling her down on top of her. “C’mere, you goof. Bite me all you want.”

Jordyn lifted herself back up until they were face to face. “Mm, I’d rather do this.”

She leaned in and kissed Vivienne on the lips. Viv sighed happily.

“Seriously though, why were you biting me?” she whispered against Jordyn’s lips after a long, pleasant moment.

Jordyn pulled back slightly, shrugging. “Dunno. Just had the urge, I guess. It felt good for my teeth.”

Vivienne hummed, stroking a hand along Jordyn’s back, tracing her scars. “You’re weird. But I love it.”

Jordyn smiled, laying down and resting her head on Viv’s chest. “Yeah.”

Viv laid back. “This is nice.”

Jordyn said something in response, but Vivienne couldn’t make it out; the words muffled against her breasts. She was sure she got the gist, though.

They stayed like that for a few lovely minutes before Vivienne remembered she had class today, and couldn’t stick around.

“What time is it?” she asked.

“A bit past ten, I think. I got up to pee a little while ago, and the clock out in the living room said 9:30.”

Her classes were supposed to start at nine. For the first time since she started taking them, she was late without a good reason.

It wouldn’t take her long to get there, for obvious reasons. And yet, Vivienne found she had absolutely no desire to go now that she knew she was late. When was the last time she had a day to herself? Why was she even still taking these classes in the midst of everything going on? It seemed so inconsequential. She could always retry once there wasn’t an evil police chief trying to kill her and her friends. Right now, she needed to be prioritising her rest so that she could be in good shape should they ever need to escape. That was what was important. Not grades.

…Huh. How come she never realised that before? It seemed quite obvious, now that she thought about it. Those were just the healing effects of a good fuck, she supposed.

With newfound determination to have a truly lazy day, Vivienne closed her eyes and relaxed back into Jordyn’s warmth.

Then she opened them again, looking down at Jordyn’s naked body.

“Wait, did you seriously get dressed to go out and pee, only to come back and take your clothes off again before you got back in bed?”

“Didn’t get dressed,” she muttered. “Just covered myself in shadows to keep the rain off on the trip. I wanted to spend as little time away from you as possible.” She kissed Vivienne’s chest softly.

Vivienne chuckled, running her hands through Jordyn’s hair. “I should’ve guessed.” 

They laid there together for at least another half hour, until the rumbling in their guts got the better of them, and they were forced to leave the comfort of the bed to seek out breakfast.

“Do you know if Maddie has eaten yet?” Viv asked, sitting on the side of the bed and pulling some clothes on.

Jordyn still laid amongst the covers, looking every part like a sexy pinup poster model in the soft lighting. Vivienne did her best to stop looking, lest she be tempted back into her sweet embrace for another hour. “I’m sure she can pour herself a bowl of cereal for one day.”

“I know, but… I don’t know… I just wanna make sure she’s getting enough food.”

Jordyn shuffled over and wrapped her arms around Viv from behind. “You just worry about yourself for today, okay? You need to rest. It’s okay to lean on us when you need help, too.”

Vivienne sighed. She knew Jordyn was right. It was just hard to reconcile that with the constant ‘prioritise work above all else’ mindset that had been drilled into her since she was a kid. It felt like if she wasn’t constantly doing something to help someone else, she was wasting her time.

“Sometimes, I guess I forget… that I’m someone, too,” she muttered.

“Sorry?” Jordyn asked.

Vivienne shook her head. “Don’t worry about it.”

Jordyn shrugged, pulling herself off the bed with a groan. “Fuck, I’m sore. You really did a number on me last night.”

Vivienne smirked, remembering the way Jordyn’s eyes rolled into the back of her head as she railed her. “Well, you did ask for it.”

Jordyn grinned. “Yeah.”

They finally stopped paying attention to each other for long enough to get dressed and walk – or limp, in Jordyn’s case, as Vivienne was proud to observe – out into the living room. Maddie was indeed already awake, sitting on the couch and sipping on a coffee while reading a book. She looked up at them as they entered.

“Well well, what do we have here?” she asked, eyebrow raised with a knowing grin on her face.

Better get this out of the way quick. “Uh, there’s something we should probably tell you-” Viv started.

Maddie put her hand up. “No need. I already know you two finally sorted your shit out. It was pretty obvious from all the moaning and the ‘plap, plap, plap’ through the walls last night.”

Vivienne’s face burned. “O-oh. I see.”

Maddie got up, limping over and wrapping both of them in a hug. “I’m happy for you guys. Just don’t be all gross and sappy and shit in front of me and we’re good.”

“Thanks, Maddie,” Jordyn replied.

Maddie stepped back a little. “Also, both of you need to go shower ASAP. You stink.”

Jordyn laughed. That gave Vivienne an idea. She smirked, looking over at her new girlfriend.

“Why don’t we go together? Save some water, y’know?”

It took Jordyn a second to get her meaning, but once she did, something dark and hungry flashed in her eyes. “Oh, good idea.”

Madeline groaned. “What did I JUST say?”

—

A week passed in pleasant calmness. Vivienne and I enjoyed the excitement of our new relationship, and Maddie enjoyed the time to recover. We only annoyed her a little bit. Just a teensy-weensy bit. A teeny-tiny bit. Definitely not enough for her to throw a book at us when we started kissing on the couch. Nope. Definitely not.

Before we knew it, it was already time to do those interviews Viv had told us about. The thought was a little nerve-wracking, having to share everything Andreas did to me. But, if it meant that I would get to actually start living my life – whatever sort of life that turned out to be – then I would do so without hesitation.

Vivienne teleported back and forth between the Union and here, bringing more people along with every jump. Maggie was first, along with another clone who appeared to be a lot younger than the two of us.

“Hey, Jordyn,” she greeted, wrapping me in a hug.

“Hey,” I replied. “Thank you so much for what you did for Maddie. I don’t know what we would’ve done if we hadn’t got her back.”

“Ah, don’t mention it. It was nothing.”

I pulled away from the hug, looking over at the younger one. “Who’s this?”

Maggie put an arm around her shoulders. “This is Hex. Number 6. We escaped together, back in the day.”

“I’m older than you,” Hex said.

“Oh. Okay,” I replied, unsure why it was relevant. She seemed satisfied with my response, regardless.

Vivienne brought along Steve and Ashley, and then a bunch of other people I didn’t recognise. By the time she was finished, the living room was especially crowded, and Vivienne’s skin had turned mildly green. I was tempted to go over and see if she was okay, but with all the unfamiliar people around, my walls were all the way up. It was dangerous to reveal that sort of vulnerability around them until I was sure they could be trusted. From the looks on Maggie and Hex’s faces, they were no doubt having similar thoughts. It was hard not to feel uneasy around them, with the way they were staring at us all bug-eyed. Apparently, the whole ‘clone’ thing must not be easy to swallow for most people.

We ended up having to rearrange the furniture to make room for all the camera equipment. Maggie mostly dealt with that, thanks to her bizarre strength. Once it was all done, it was finally time to begin. Oh goodie.

“So, who’s going first?” the woman – Harriet, I thought her name was – asked.

Maggie, Hex, and I all looked at each other. Maggie shrugged. “I guess I will. I’m the oldest.”

“Uh, technically…” Madeline chimed in, then seemed to realise everyone was now looking at her. “Yeah, uh, you go first. I’m not ready yet.” her cheeks reddened.

Harriet nodded. “Well then. Let’s get started.”

—

“Could you state your name please, for the record?” the detective asked.

“Maggie. Though, the name he gave me was Magpie. I prefer not to go by that.”

So Maggie was just a nickname? I never knew. 

“Last name?”

Maggie shrugged. “I don’t think we really have one, do we? Unless you count de Vygon as one, but I definitely don’t.”

“Right. And when you said ‘he,’ you were referring to Andreas de Vygon, captain of the 23rd precinct, yes?”

“That’s correct.”

“How did you meet Mr. de Vygon?”

Maggie raised an eyebrow. “I met him the day I was born. It’s probably my second-ever memory. I opened my eyes on the floor, coughing green stuff out of my lungs, and he was there, looking down at me. My first memory is being submerged in that green stuff, floating in a vat. It’s the same with all of us, pretty much.”

“You understand that the idea you were… created, is a little hard to believe, yes?” the detective said.

She frowned. “Go and see for yourself. There are dozens of those tanks down there, all with another clone growing in it. Hell, he’s probably already woken a couple more up since Jordyn escaped.”

“We believe you, Maggie,” Harriet said, stepping in. “Now, do you think you could speak about your experience living under the precinct? How did Mr. de Vygon treat you? What did he have you do?”

Maggie sighed. “Well, first off, he told me that he was my dad, and that I lost all my memories in an accident. I’m not sure if I ever fully believed him, but I went along with it ‘cuz I had no other choice. The first couple months were okay. It was mostly just learning how to walk and talk and read and all that basic shit. Then… the training started. At first it was just running through obstacle courses, but they would get harder and harder, and he’d punish me if I flew over them.”

“Punish you how?” the detective asked.

“Yell at me, at first. Then he started to beat me too. He put this chip in our necks that let him electrocute us whenever he wanted. He only did that when he was really mad, though. One day, he threatened Hex, and I tried to punch him. He… He broke all the fingers on my right hand for that.”

Her eyes glazed over, lost somewhere in her memories. I shivered, hugging myself. Her words were far too familiar. Vivienne appeared beside me, subtly putting a hand on the small of my back. I appreciated her support more than words could express.

The detective cleared his throat, clearly a little put-off by Maggie’s description. “R-right, uh… You say Hex was with you? When were you introduced?”

Maggie blinked, coming back to herself and sitting up a little straighter. “About five months in. He said she was my sister, and that we lost our memories in the same accident. I know now though that he was just trying to cover his ass because there was a problem and she came out of the tank too early.”

“What was he training you for?”

“As far as I knew at the time, he was training me to be a hero who worked for the police. As for the real reason, you should ask Jordyn. She would know better than me. I only get the general gist. Didn’t really get too involved in it all before we escaped.”

“And how did you escape?”

Maggie clenched and unclenched her fists, taking a deep breath. “Uhh, Fa-” She cut herself off and squeezed her eyes shut. “Andreas,” she growled, “was punishing me for something I did. I was, um… locked up in an uncomfortable position for a really long time. Eventually, I guess he went out or something, ‘cuz Hex came and let me loose. Then the two of us just made a run for it. Ended up coming face to face with that guy.” She pointed to Steve.

“That was the first time I had an inkling something weird was going on down there,” he said. “And Andreas never forgave me for it.”

Maggie’s interview continued on for a little while longer. The detective asked for more detail about the sort of things Andreas would do, and by the end, she was visibly shaking just from retelling it. It was strange to see someone I knew as such a pillar of strength be reduced to the same shivering, scared animal I still saw in the mirror sometimes. Even just listening to her recounting was bad enough that Hex and Madeline had to leave the room. I was close to following them out, only held back by the wide-eyed glances Maggie would shoot me after our sister left; desperate bids for connection as she was forced to remember the worst part of her life. She couldn’t be the only one in the room who understood, and me being there reminded her she wasn’t alone.

When it was finally done, Vivienne stepped forward and helped her up, leading her outside. I remained in place, mentally preparing for my own interview. There were a fair few to get through, so I probably wasn’t next, but after seeing what it was like, I knew I couldn’t go in without bracing myself.

Harriet rubbed her face. “God… that was only the first one.”

One down, far too many more to go.

—

Steve decided to go next, to give us some time to get ready. He didn’t have too much to say, mostly just detailing how Andreas pretty much destroyed his reputation after his encounter with Maggie. He talked about breaking into the facility, which I didn’t know about. Apparently, he saw me training, and saw Andreas electrocute me. He even stole research notes, which were apparently what first gave everyone a clue about what was going on.

Then, he talked about that night. How he came home from that excursion only to meet me in his apartment. How I broke him under Andreas’ orders. He said that he didn’t know who did it, but his eyes kept meeting mine as he spoke. I already knew; I had to tell the truth when my turn came. Everyone needed to know the extent of the things Andreas ordered me to do. They had to know that it was my fault Steve couldn’t walk straight anymore.

Hex went after him. The detective was much lighter on the questions than he was for Maggie, no doubt because of how mentally young she was. Her story matched Maggie’s pretty closely, and she didn’t have to go into too much detail about the punishments, thankfully. It was still difficult hearing how hard Andreas was on her, despite her biological age. Only he would expect a twelve year-old to be able to match the physical prowess of a grown adult.

In the end, it was decided that I would go last, as Madeline stepped up before I could. 

“Please state your name for the record.”

“Madeline Garcia-Holmes.”

“Rosalyn Garcia-Holmes, the alleged source of the genetic material used to make the clones, was your wife, correct? You two were legally married?”

Maddie nodded. “That’s correct.”

“Thus, in being her immediate next-of-kin, you would have had the final say on what happened to her remains, yes?”

“Her parents and I would have discussed it, but yes, I believe the final call was mine when we decided to bury her.”

“Were you ever approached about the possibility of using your wife’s remains for science in any way?”

She shook her head. “No. As far as I knew, the process of, uh… interring her, was entirely normal. No one ever asked me or her parents about doing anything with her body, aside from embalming and all that for the funeral.”

“Alright,” the detective said, copying it down. “Thank you for the clarification. Let’s move on. Now, you claim that Andreas de Vygon attacked you? Could you tell me more about that?”

Maddie took a breath. “Okay, uh… This was a little while after Jordyn figured out the truth and went into hiding. I, um… it was a little past eight at night, maybe, and I was walking down the street when this guy came up behind me and injected me with something. Then one of his friends came along and started choking me out. When I woke up, I was in the back of a van, s-strapped to this chair, and Andreas was there. He wanted to know where she was, and he wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

“Do you know what you were injected with?”

She shrugged. “Some sort of shit that stopped me from using my power so I couldn’t escape. Dunno exactly what it was, though.”

The detective tilted his head. “What did he do to you while he had you captive?”

Maddie’s eyes went wide for a moment. She waved at her face, still slightly discoloured from bruising. “W-well, just look at me.”

“We need to know in detail, please. I understand it might be hard, but the more detail we have, the more ammunition we’ll have against him in court.”

She paused for a moment, looking down and sighing. I heard her curse under her breath. “Fine. I’ll do my best.”

“That’s all we ask.”

Maddie kept her eyes on the floor as she spoke. “First he, uh… knocked me around a bit. Beat the… beat the crap out of me, knocked my tooth out. When I still didn’t talk, he…” She held up her hand, two of her fingers still splinted. “H-he started breaking fingers. I… I tried to tell him I didn’t know, but he wouldn’t- w- wouldn’t listen.”

A shiver ran through her body, forcing out a muffled sob that seemed to surprise even her. She covered her mouth for a moment before continuing. “I, uh… mouthed off a bit. He, um… he smashed my knee with a wrench for it, and then… You, uh… y-you know what waterboarding is?”

“Fucking christ,” the DA muttered, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

Her face crumpled. “I couldn’t hold out. I told him Vivienne teleported us, but I didn’t know where it was. I thought that would be it, but… He wanted details. He… He…”

Another sob wrenched its way out of her. She shook her head as tears fell down her cheeks. “I can’t. I can’t. Too many people.”

Ashley immediately stood up. “Alright, everyone who’s not with the DA, let’s step outside.”

We all followed him out onto the porch, save for the detective, Harriet, and the big DA boss guy.

“Fuckin’ hell,” Maggie muttered, leaning against the wall and pulling out a cigarette and a lighter, burning the end and taking a puff.

“I didn’t know you smoked,” Vivienne said, sitting down on one of the benches.

“Yeah. It’s a bad habit I picked up from the guys at the construction site I work at.” She pointed at me. “Don’t copy me. You’ll fuck up your lungs. I’ve been trying to cut it. It’s just… with all the shit today…”

“I feel you there,” Ashley said. “May I?”

She offered him the cigarette and he took a drag, coughing a little as he breathed the smoke out.

“Can we go home yet?” Hex asked, leaning against Maggie’s arm and playing with her feathers.

“Soon, bubs. They might still need us for something.”

We waited mostly in silence after that, reflecting on what we’d heard. Obviously, I could sort of infer what Andreas did to Madeline based on her injuries, but hearing it spoken from her lips was another matter entirely. Despite knowing exactly what he was capable of, it still felt like such a betrayal. How could he do that to my friends? He was supposed to love me.

Of course, I knew that was just his influence talking; the little edits he made to my brain while I was growing to make me more obedient. Maggie and I had a chat about it in between her and Steve’s interviews; how her ‘programming’ didn’t set in right and that was why she never fully trusted him. Hex and I weren’t as lucky. It was only through our connections to others that we were able to break free of it.

Finally, the door opened and Madeline stumbled out, her face blank but her cheeks still wet. She walked over and sat down next to Vivienne, staring at the floor. Ashley wordlessly held out the cigarette he and Maggie had been sharing. Madeline looked at it for a few seconds before grabbing it and taking a long drag. She sighed, breathing out smoke. Her voice still shaking, she spoke.

“Fuck,” was all she said.

Fuck indeed.

—

“Your name, please?”

I cleared my throat, trying to look at the detective and not at the dark lens of the camera. “Jordyn.”

“And you are one of the clones that Mr. de Vygon allegedly created underneath precinct 23, correct? What is your number?”

Wow, I hadn’t thought about that in a while. Maggie and Hex were asked about it, too, but it was still a bit of a throwback. “Uh, Seven. Same as the name he made me go by while I was working for him.”

“You weren’t aware that you were a clone during that time, were you?”

I shook my head. “No. He told me he was my father. Same as Maggie and Hex. I only found out recently, when I decided to show my face to Vivienne. She obviously recognised Rosalyn’s appearance, so at first I thought that maybe I was actually her, but…” I should probably avoid mentioning the whole ‘digging up her grave’ thing. “It quickly became pretty clear that that wasn’t possible.”

“What was your relationship with Mr. de Vygon like?”

I shrugged. “Pretty similar to what Maggie and Hex described. He was kind at first, while I was learning to walk and talk and stuff, but once the training started he grew harsh. I… I once broke my leg on the obstacle course, and instead of pulling me out, he made me finish. A-and, then he whipped me, because my time was so bad.”

My back tingled with the memory. I took a deep breath, steeling myself. “I would say he became a little nicer after I was deployed, but not by much. He would still punish me severely for any perceived mistake. He was just… more proud of me, I guess. When he was in a good mood, he would use my name a lot, and call me his daughter. When he wasn’t, I was just ‘Seven,’ his weapon. Sometimes he would let slip that he created me, and could easily replace me. I didn’t understand what he meant at the time.”

“Did he ever tell you what his plans for you were?”

“No. He hardly ever told me anything. I only heard about the whole ‘freeing the Godling’ theory a few weeks ago, after I came here.”

The detective nodded, writing it down. “Having actually been deployed, you were exposed to the outside world while still under Mr. de Vygon’s influence. Did you ever meet anyone that might have been colluding with him?”

One event stood out in my mind clearly. “He brought me to an investor’s party once. I don’t remember most of the people’s names, but one man stood out to me, because it seemed like even Andreas was subservient to him. Sebastian Beaumond.”

The three investigators all shared a wide-eyed look. “The senator?” Harriet asked.

I shrugged. “Is there another Sebastian Beaumond?”

“That explains where he was getting his funding from,” the DA said. “Continue, Jordyn.”

I nodded. “That, um… That wasn’t the only time I met him, either. He came into the facility once. I still don’t know why. He just started beating on me out of nowhere. He looked all frantic, like he hadn’t slept.”

“Can you remember doing anything that might have set him off?” the detective asked.

I racked my brains, but nothing really came up. “I’m not sure. The only real thing of note I remember doing before that was finding my way to the Godling’s prison the night before.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Why’d you do that?”

“It… called to me.”

“That’s a fairly common occurrence,” Ashley explained. “It does Its best to convince people to free It, especially Union members, since we’re in such close proximity to It. Don’t worry, the door doesn’t open. It’s sealed with some ancient magic stuff. No one’s getting through.”

Harriet raised an eyebrow. “‘Ancient magic stuff?’”

He rubbed the back of his head. “My, uh… My mother can explain it better than I can.”

She frowned. “Interesting. And slightly worrying.”

Another thing occurred to me. “Oh yeah, I guess that night was my first time having sex, but I don’t see how he could have even known about that. Andreas only found out the next morning, and by that point, Beaumond was already in the building.”

The detective blinked at me. “Right… Um, thanks for the information. We’ll move on.”

“Okay,” I replied. Why was everyone making a face? Did I say something wrong?

He cleared his throat. “Did Mr. de Vygon ever ask you to do anything that was out of the ordinary for your usual police work?”

“Well, one of the first things he told me after I was deployed was that if I ever saw Maggie, I should kill her. The first time we met, I tried to follow through on that, but thankfully, I couldn’t beat her. She was the first indication that something wasn’t right with everything. Also, there was, uh… another time he asked me to do something bad…”

My eyes found Steve’s. I didn’t want to share this without his permission. Thankfully, he seemed to pick up on what I was thinking, and nodded.

“Continue please, Jordyn.”

I took a deep breath. Steve had already forgiven me. Hopefully, Vivienne would be able to, as well.

“He woke me up one evening and, uh… He told me to go to Steve Matthews’ apartment. He… he wanted me to, quote, ‘beat him within an inch of his life, and break his legs so bad he’d never walk straight again.’ I… I didn’t have a choice. I had to do it. H-he would’ve punished me if I didn’t.”

I stared at the floor as silence reigned throughout the room. Someone sucked in a breath, and I braced myself.

“That was you?!” Vivienne shouted.

Guilt filled me all the way to my throat, choking me. I shook my head. “I’m so sorry,” I whimpered.

“It wasn’t her fault, Vivienne,” Steve said. “Don’t blame her.”

“You knew?” she demanded. “You said you didn’t know who did it!”

“It was a sensitive time. I didn’t want to cause conflict between you guys. Jordyn and I have already talked about it. I forgave her a long time ago”

“You realise that means you lied in your interview, right?” Harriet said.

He waved her off. “I’ll amend my statement. Didn’t feel right to throw Jordyn under the bus.”

She sighed. “How noble.”

“I… I’ve gotta get some air,” Vivienne said, disappearing in a blink.

We’d only had a week together. Was it already over?

It was only fair, I supposed. With all the pain I’d caused, I barely deserved her as a friend, let alone a partner.

“We’ll, um, We’ll continue, if that’s alright,” the detective said. “Those were the primary questions I wanted to ask. Now, would you mind going into further detail regarding the sort of things he subjected you to? I know it’s difficult, but these details are important.”

I nodded. “It’s okay. I can do it.”

A tiny little recounting of my life was nothing compared to the horror I’d created for everyone around me, just by existing. This discomfort was a well-deserved punishment, but it fell far short of what I’d truly earned.

—

Somehow, I survived the rest of the interview with my mental state intact, mostly by forcing myself not to consider the words coming out of my mouth in any way and doing my best to ignore the horrified reactions around the room. Once that was over, the investigators took photos of all of our scars and injuries, as well as our number tattoos. After that, it seemed like the day was finally coming to a close.

Vivienne reappeared a few minutes before everyone had to leave, wiping her eyes. I sought her out in a quiet corner while the rest were packing up.

“I’m so sorry, Viv,” I whispered. “I- I didn’t want to do it. He would’ve… I had no choice.”

Viv looked at me, eyes slightly red from crying. “Oh, Jordyn.” She shook her head, pulling me into a hug. “You have nothing to apologise for. It was nobody’s fault but Andreas.”

That was what Steve had said, too. I still wasn’t sure if I believed them.

Vivienne pulled back, keeping her hands on my shoulders. Despite her words, her expression was filled with hurt. “Just… why did you never tell me?”

I sighed. “I’m sorry. I was afraid of how you’d react. Y-you… you were one of my only friends, I didn’t want to risk that.”

She looked down for a few moments before meeting my gaze again. “I understand. Thanks for telling the truth. And don’t worry, I’m not the type to just end a relationship like that with no warning. I’m… I’m not upset at you about what happened. I just… wish you’d told me sooner.  Don’t keep anything like this from me again, please.”

“I won’t,” I said. “I promise.”

Viv smiled, leaning in to kiss me on the cheek. “Thank you.”

“Are… um, are we okay?” I asked, fidgeting with my fingers. 

“We’re okay, Jordyn. Just… give me some space tonight, alright?”

I would miss her warmth in my bed, but I could handle that. It was a small price to pay for her forgiveness. I nodded. “Sure.”

“Me and Andreas, though?” She shook her head. “Oh, when I get my hands on that man…” She made a motion that I could only imagine was an impression of wringing his neck.

I laughed. “Join the club.”

It was, perhaps, an exaggeration. I couldn’t really relate to Madeline’s and Maggie’s and Vivienne’s want to physically harm Andreas. Maybe it was that programming again, but I had absolutely no desire to hurt him at all. I just… wanted him to leave us alone, and let us live in peace. If imprisonment was the only way to do that, then so be it.

Vivienne teleported everyone home once they were all ready, and flopped over onto the couch when she was done, holding her stomach and groaning.

“Fuck this shitass job.”

Maddie chuckled humourlessly, sitting down next to her. “At least today is over, right? We never have to do that again. Nothing more to do now but wait.”

It was weird to think about. Just a few more days of hiding, and we’d be free. Andreas would be in prison, or well on his way, at least. My life would finally be able to begin in earnest, under no one’s will but my own.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t terrified. But terror was a very familiar feeling to me, and despite its best efforts, it could do nothing to overshadow my excitement. 

Freedom, here I come.

—

I collapsed to the floor, sucking in wheezing lungfuls of air, trying to recover after getting punched right in the diaphragm.

“Pathetic, Nine!” Father yelled, his voice piercing through my ears like a knife. “How do you possibly expect to be able to beat Seven when you can’t even handle a single punch?!”

“Too loud!” I whimpered, covering my ears. The barricade would do little in the face of my heightened senses, but anything was better than nothing. It was all just too much. Too many smells, too many sounds. I couldn’t handle it.

He kicked me in the gut, flipping me over. “You’re lucky you’re part of a team, you little welp. If you’d woken up alone with that useless power, I would have killed you on the spot.”

I opened my eyes, blinking back tears. Ten was looking down at me with that signature sneer of hers, arms covered in stone up to her elbows. She was Father’s favourite by far. It wasn’t fair. How was I supposed to stand a chance against her? Eight stood a little further back, staring into space as usual. Her face was melting again. I think it was hard for her to hold a steady form unless she was paying attention, which was not her strong suit. At least she could fight, unlike my useless self. I was nothing but a burden to my sisters.

Father’s phone started ringing, sending another spike straight into my brain. He pulled it out, checking the screen. 

“Take five and pull yourself together.”

He walked off, answering the call. Ten held out a hand and I used it to climb back to my feet, still wheezing. 

“Tense up as you get hit next time,” Ten whispered. “Maybe then you won’t drop like a sack of bricks.”

I appreciated her blunt attempt at advice, but it was little consolation, coming from her. “You have titanium bones and can turn your skin into rock. How am I supposed to defend against that?”

She shrugged. “I dunno. That’s your problem.”

Eight slithered over, dropping into a pile of goo before reforming when she was next to us. It was a challenge getting her to walk normally. “You can fight me next. I won’t hit you as hard, I promise.”

Ten scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Don’t coddle her. It’s not gonna help her improve.”

“What?!”

We all turned to look at Father, who was still on his phone. I tuned in, listening to both sides of the conversation.

“They’re coming, Andy. I’d say you have a day at most to salvage whatever you can and get the heck outta dodge.”

I knew that voice. It belonged to the weird, unnerving man that visited the facility a few days after Father pulled us from those tanks.

Father sighed. “Alright. I have a safehouse a ways out of the city. We’ll continue the triplet’s training there. The plan is still viable.”

“Good man. I’ll be eagerly awaiting your success.”

The call ended with a beep. Father turned to us.

“Change of plans. Go to your room and pack your things. We’re moving.”

Taglist: @steelandblood @sapphicwhump @urnumber1star @alsolucakairomi @thataquaticwhumper

@iamheretohurt @anoyedartist @dontyoubleedoutonme @seastarblue @lettherebepain

@bacillusinfection @sorcererfen

the pieces are in place, my dear readers. Both sides are preparing their trump cards. only two chapters remain in the arc. when push comes to shove, who will come out on top? find out next time on dragon ball z!

thanks for reading! lemme know what you thought, and i'll see you next time!

[charmspoint]

I'm not like, an art blog or anything but if anyone is feeling super discouraged as all this ai shit roles through and is maybe thinking 'art is so hard and impossible to achieve without years and years of practice, i might as well use ai because it's the only way to make what I'm envisioning', I made this in like two hours:

I'm not an artist and you can probably see that. Pretty much all art I have done is either done by my brother or commissioned. I have 0 art training, I don't draw on the regular, last time I seriously drew was probably a couple of years ago. And I did this in two hours. I looked up a bunch of things, used plenty references, googled stuff like 'pose references' and 'how to draw boots' and here is the result. Just like, don't be discouraged, art is not some mystic skill only a chosen few can master. All I needed to draw this can be found in any store that sells school supplies and some time and effort. You got this, I love you, never give in to the easier path.

And now me rambling about the process under cut cuz I had a bunch of fun!

So this is a drawing of one of my dnd characters. She's an eladrin (fairy flavored elf for the uninitiated) and her original class was barbarian but I'm going to reclass her into a druid next time I play her because I decided it fit her backstory more.

Here's her initial design from like two years ago

The concept was 'barbarian but she's a magical girl lol' and a darker color scheme prevailed because I was trying to fit her into a CoS campaign :I I ended up changing characters hvhnvh. Anyway since I decided to reclass her into a druid and focus on her backstory more, making her a more serious and grounded character, I decided to switch from a lolita inspired style to a mori kei inspired one instead. At least when it came to styling and layering. I decided to leave colors leaning more towards pastel pinks to keep the original hyper fem feeling of the character. I also decided to change her hairstyle from twin tails to twin braids to give her a more mature look reflecting her more thoughtful and reflective rebranding. I kinda wanted to make her braids even longer but uhhh drawing braids is kinda confusing to me but I did my best anyway.

Pose is always the hardest part of drawing for me aaaaa, I'm shit at judging proportions and not nearly passionate enough to try and do that part slowly and precisely so I usually just kinda end up winging it. I also gave up on the legs cuz like...I'll give her a dress anyway :I...have I mentioned I'm not an artist. Her pose doesn't have much to do with her character the way it does in her original picture, I honestly just wanted an easy pose to draw so I can show off hair and outfit. Dynamic poses make drawing clothes a lot harder for me (if u would call the pose in the og pic dynamic...once again I'm not an artist)

Hair and outfit are like my fav parts to do and what I spend the most time on, from looking up references, to trying to get it just right, to making little tweaks and changes to trying to do my best with store bought colors to get the colors just right. The part where her shawl and braid and top of the dress are was the hardest to make sense of and I did my best about it hzbhjbhj hopefully it looks nice. Also the top of her dress was a test bunny for how i wanted to combine brown and beige for her dress and i accidentally used the wrong and stronger shade of brown, hence the top looks different...drawing by hand hard. Also yeah I did change the positioning of one of her legs between pose sketch and outfit sketch...I couldn't figure out how to draw a boot like that.

Here are some outfit references I used! I took elements from all of these (the white bits are supposed to be lace but like...I'm just one girl with a pen).

That's about it :3 I'm very happy with it, she ended up super cute. I honestly surprised myself with how good it looks. It reminded me how much I actually like drawing hair and outfits, I used to do that a bunch back in high school and college. I should play more girls in dnd so I can draw more cute outfits. I can't draw men because if I try to draw a man I will die.

[spacelessbian]

thoughts on Agatha All Along FINALE

Full spoilers ahead, 100% don't read if you haven't seen episodes 8 and 9.

I really enjoyed the finale, both episodes had a lot to offer and overall I am quite happy with how the show concluded. Things that I liked in no particular order:

The REVEALS. There is simply nothing better than a reveal that recontextualizes everything. And we didn't get just one, but two! Personally I found Agatha running a con and murdering women for centuries the more fun one, but Billy actually creating the Road was also really good and even though I've only seen the show once (unlike many people on here, no doubt), I can name many points in the story and in the dialogue where this is worked in and suddenly makes sense. Really great stuff.

Agatha and Nicky. I was dreading this part a little bit because I know Nicholas Scratch is some sort of big name in Marvel comics and I truly couldn't care less, so I'm pleased with what we got – a genuinely sweet yet tragic story of a mom and her son, destined to death even before being born. I was surprised (but in a good way) by Agatha's quiet reaction to Nicky's death because we know his death hurt her badly, but that's just how it is sometimes.

Agatha and Rio. I won't say I'd always had fate in Marvel to not mess this up, so yay! I don't think they did. This relationship is the heart of the show (and it is black and beats for the queers) and I think the writers did it justice (apart from one thing which I will get to in the next section). The kiss was intense, sexy, beautiful and also tragic and both Kathryn Hahn and Aubrey Plaza did a fantastic job with every piece of dialogue and every expression. I want them to play doomed lovers in five more projects, at least.

The coven. I already blogged about Jen but man, is it funny. Even this was Agatha all along, but she is such a menace she hasn't even realized that. I'm truly happy for Jen making it through and getting her power back. I'm glad we saw Alice's last moment and I liked how much Billy cared about her, Lilia and Sharon.

Agatha's death. I can't help myself, I need to go to that moment again. I was destroyed by that. It was so beautiful, both thematically and also visually and all. The flowers and mushrooms? The sun coming up? I kept thinking about Hozier's Work Song: When my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth. No grave can hold my body down. I'll crawl home to her. (whadup, Rio reference)

Agatha and Billy specifically in that last battle scene. She was blue you guys, she was just completely blue and in the exact same blue that Billy wears in his silly Marvel costume. And Billy just offered her his power, without questions and without wanting anything in return! And she didn't kill him! (Writing that down, the bar is on the floor for Agatha lol.)

There are other small things (like the Subaru lol), but I am ready to go to the bad section now. Two things I did not like (hidden for lenght but also because not everyone wants to read negative stuff):

Agatha's ghost. I'm gonna say it. Agatha as a ghost looks fucking terrible and her existence itself diminishes her death scene. I do understand why they did it and even why she looks like that (Agatha in the comics, as I understand it, is Wanda's mentor and also an older white haired lady, so they wanted to keep that but it didn't make sense with Wanda anymore), but I just hate it. Especially the wig.

The Marvel stuff. Yes, I realize this sounds stupid, it is a Marvel show after all. We wouldn't get a stupid gimmick like ghost Agatha joining Billy to look for his brother if this wasn't a starting point for the Wiccan. And I like Billy, I do, I also (obviously) love Agatha, who was first introduced in WandaVision (I realize the hypocrisy), but it just doesn't work for me. I would rather think about the beautiful death scene with it's poetic tragedy than about white haired Agatha floating on a washing machine, I'm sorry.

That being said, I really really liked the whole show and I am happy to say I hooked in my best friend (if you are reading this, you are contractually obliged to like the post, you know how it is) and that I actually know other people irl who watched it and enjoyed it. I'm sad it's over and even sadder that in this day and age, noone will talk about it in about two to three weeks. Anyway, it was lovely.

[cheldessin]

Just saw a post about how studies path is different for everyone and it reminded me of how I loved the Good Will Hunting reference in Community and how it shows some interesting anti ellitist views about career choices and social class

Im adding a link of the scene in question for context but for those who can't watch it, in s1 ep24 there are some math students struggling to resolve a puzzle on a green board. Then they are gone and Troy approaches, takes a chalk, stares at the board, ans just goes away with the chalk lol, before stopping at the water machine to drink, but sees it's not working, so he then proceeds to repair it like he has been doing this his whole life. Then he leaves and two plumbers, who saw the scene, come to talk to him, too late.

First the gag is really funny, like textbook setup payoff joke, but with a double payoff because the first one is that Troy is not good at logic so it shouldnt be a surprise he doesn't resolve the puzzle. But because we all know good will hunting we are still expecting it. But this would have been unsatisfying/unfinished if Troy would have resolved nothing at all, and so instead he repairs the pipes of the water machine, and this is how we get to see his actual gift : repairing stuff.

Troy in this gag is a mirror of Will : just like him, he is in a life path that can't make him discover and exploit his true potential ; like him his speciality is almost a gift, something he has intuitively, and that he is always good at, and can get him to prestigious places (Troy later learns he is the chosen one to plumbing school AND AC repair school, and even becomes the Messiah of the latter and saves someone's life and restores justice with his gift - s3 ep 22). But on the surface, Troy has an opposite path from will : while Will starts as a janitor and ends up as a student, Troy does the opposite: he starts as a student and becomes a worker of manual labour, something that, in our world, is seen as less valuable, and a downgrade from his former status. But not in Greendale. Here the ac repair school is like this masonic organisation that controls Greendale's budget and by doing so holds the actual power, because they are the only ones who can actually guarantee their students a job at the end of their cursus.

And while it sounds crazy, it is not far from the truth. Speaking for myself, I tried (and failed) a master degree in human sciences only to find out I wouldn't have been sure to find a job with it anyways because long studies are not valuable anymore, whereas almost all the people I know who did short studies and more manual labor are in a more stable situation than me. I also have ADHD, and I'm almost sure Troy has as well which explains in part the struggling in this capitalist élitiste system. While classes give Troy a hard time to focus or study, repairing is something Troy is actually good at, and the series explains it by making a parallel with air conditioning and people, because "the true repairman will repair men" (s3 ep 22). Troy seems to actually use his high emotional intelligence (yet again something seen as less valuable than logic etc) to repair stuff because he know how things and people work. It doesn't matter if he doesn't have extended knowledge about everything because he is best at focusing on what's just before him and between his hands. This way community shows another look on manual labor and it's actual value, because let's not forget that without it the whole society litteraly falls appart.

PS : just a reminder that I know that choosing a job is very often not motivated by gift or passion because capitalism and so the ones in power need poor people who have nothing to lose to do the physical, hurting labor while the rich get to choose. This post was just taking about these jobs are seen as inferior because they are mostly done by people with low education, but that doesn't mean these jobs don't require actual skills and knowledge, on the contrary. Just wanted to clarify a bit

[lesbianjunimo]

Times Cal Saw Sorenn in Kit!Traveler

Do you guys remember this post from like a whole ass year ago? WELL after playing a6 again and getting caught up with episode 8, I finally got the inspiration to write something based on it! I've always felt that Sorenn was underutilized by the narrative, especially in the case of Kitalphan travelers. And even moreso on the Calderon route. So, I have taken it upon myself to write a little ficlet of some ways I think Calderon would see bits of Sorenn in a Kit!traveler. Traveler is referred to with gender neutral pronouns and is given the name "Traveler" so that everyone can insert themselves as they please! I banged this all out in like two hours so apologies ahead of time for any grammar mistakes LOL

Times Cal Saw Sorenn in Kit!Traveler

Eyes

In the seconds following him being, in hindsight, probably the biggest asshole imaginable, Calderon had the gall to ask their name. More specifically, he had the gall to ask “What did you say your name was?” 

They blinked in surprise before staring at him a moment. It looked like they were processing both the fact that he had even bothered to ask, and that he had managed to still be rude about it. Their gaze turned incredulous as their eyes met.

Those eyes. Calderon resisted the gasp of air that threatened to escape his chest. Their eyes looked practically identical to Sorenn’s. They were the exact same color, at least. He didn’t get a good enough look at their shape in that brief moment to decide if that was the same, too. It was likely a coincidence, anyway.

“I didn’t, but…it’s Traveler,” they said, and this time he was unable to keep his expression neutral. One of his eyebrows quirked instantly, uncontrollably. That name was familiar. Undeniably so. And yet he didn’t know where he’d heard it. He shook his head; he was being foolish. He just missed Sorenn dearly and his mind was playing tricks on him because of it.

“Well, whoever you are, we’ll be dropping you off in Teranium once we get there. I suggest you come up with a plan before then. The streets of Nos Vega are not kind to the unprepared. Until then, unless you can do something useful, which I highly doubt, stay out of the way.”

Despite his harsh words, he still couldn’t keep himself from giving them one last once over before he left the bridge. To anyone on the outside looking in, it would seem as though he were sizing them up, to see if they were worth anything. Which, well, he was. But it was an excuse for him to check if those eyes really were that same shade.

They were.

Posture

The first time they did it, it confirmed Calderon’s suspicions of their wealthy background. After all, that little trinket they had with them when June brought them on board was made of Kitalphanite; whoever they were, they had credits. And likely, high social status.

So when the doors of their room slid open and they saw him standing there, and adjusted their posture, it didn’t shock him one bit. They straightened out their neck, aligned their shoulders, crossed their arms, and jutted their chin out ever so slightly. After living in the high end of Goldis for so long, he knew noble posture when he saw it. It almost made him scoff.

When their eyes met again, though, he was once again reminded of Sorenn. Sorenn often used to do much the same posturing, but he did it as a joke. He often struck a similar pose when he mimicked his royal siblings; well, the more troublesome ones, at least. 

But Sorenn had also used what he called “royal body language” to his advantage, as well. It often came out when other members of the guard were being difficult, or if anyone gave him or Cal a hard time. It was an offensive maneuver, of sorts. A “do you know who I am?” without saying the words out loud. And it always worked, and always left him and Sorenn laughing.

As he and Traveler discussed the trinket, which they discovered was a music box, and he apologized for his rudeness on the bridge, he noticed their stature grow less rigid and their shoulders relax. He was glad to see it.

Sociability

Traveler may have started out hiding in their room most of the time, but they started growing comfortable aboard the ship somewhere during the trip to Cursa. Cal could tell, with how often he heard them talking or laughing to someone. Usually it was Ayame, Sebastian, or Ryona. They didn’t get on very well with Damon; but then again, who did? Though he couldn’t really blame them after suggesting selling them out to their family’s murderer. And June, well…that was complicated.

They took a surprising interest in everyone’s hobbies, of all things. They started helping Ryona with her plants on the regular. They’d sit with Ayame on the bridge and talk about anything and everything. Every now and again, they could be heard giving Aya’s shitty karaoke machine a go. They started helping Bash in the kitchen, both because they wanted to learn to cook and because they wanted to spend time with him.

They were also perfectly content with sitting in silence in the company of others. Once or twice, he had found himself and Traveler sitting in the common room of the Andromeda Six. No words were spoken, yet a sense of companionship lingered in the air. It was…nice. He hadn’t had someone to be alone together with in quite some time. The last person he could sit in companionable silence with was Sorenn, actually.

As a prince, and one of the older ones at that, Sorenn almost always had to be in “Peg’asi mode.” Always presentable, always powerful, always charming. But when his battery was drained, when he didn’t want to be a prince anymore, he would sit with Calderon in the barracks of Orsanna’s Guard during their training days, and they would just be quiet together. 

Traveler really was like their older brother.

Compassion

He regretted snapping at them as soon as he’d done it. “Very few people have had the luxury of growing up in a golden palace, with servants to cater to their every whim,” he had said, harsh and unwarranted, and stopped himself abruptly. Traveler looked at him with confusion and hurt in their eyes, and he felt like a dick yet again. 

Yes, Cursa was a dangerous place. But what had he yelled at them for? For being kind? For showing the same compassion Sorenn always had for people down on their luck? He didn’t have to join the Guard; he wanted to. And if Sorenn could have joined Cal in the Bronze District, he would have; he’d said as much. But as a prince, the leaders of the Guard, and for that matter, his father, King Fenris, would never allow him to be stationed anywhere less than Gold.

And here was Traveler, showing that same compassion, digging into their pockets for a donation for a starving child when they know damn well they don’t have a credit to their name at the moment. And yet they still hoped to find some way to help. 

He was shocked when they purposefully caught up to him after his outburst. “I didn’t mean to snap at you earlier,” he said. “I can’t even begin to imagine what you must think of me.” 

He was even more shocked at their reply. “You’re a good man,” they said. “I can see that. You’re also incredibly stubborn and ill-tempered, but surprisingly, I like that about you too.” 

“You do?” He asked, and they nodded with a smile. There it was again; that compassion. 

~~~~~~~~~~

And yet, for all the ways Calderon saw their older brother in Traveler, he also saw, well, Traveler.

Their eyes were the same shape as Sorenn’s, too, not just the same color. The two of them must have both gotten Nikolle’s eyes. But Calderon had met Traveler’s gaze enough times now to see the differences. The corners of Traveler’s eyes always crinkled when they smiled; they smiled with their entire face. It was like their joy overtook them every time they laughed. And when they were excited, their eyes twinkled in a way that brightened them to almost an entire shade lighter than they typically were. The first time their eyes lit up at the sight of him, Calderon couldn’t breathe.

For Traveler, the “royal posture” wasn’t a joke. It wasn’t a tool. It was a comfort. He noticed whenever they did it. That telltale straightening of the neck, aligning of the shoulders, crossing of the arms, and jutting of the chin. They did it when they felt unsafe. The first time he realized the meaning was on Cursa. When Alisa approached the crew, they did it before she was anywhere near them. They did it when she got close to him and Damon. They didn’t ease up when they outstretched their hand to shake hers, offering a pleasant greeting. They stiffened up more when she laughed at them. They were emulating their older brother to feel confident, to feel safe, and Calderon felt a lump in his throat whenever he thought too hard about it.

Sorenn was sociable and likable, but it was because he was born and raised to be that way. He knew all the right things to say and when to say them; he once confided in Cal that sometimes he didn’t know where the prince in him ended and the person in him began. Traveler, on the other hand, was likable without practice. They were painfully genuine in their every interaction. They had confessed to him that, after being left alone in the palace for so long, they hardly ever liked to be without company. Sitting in silence with someone wasn’t a luxury for them because they had been forced to be around people; it was a luxury for them because for so long they had been without anyone. Sorenn was molded into a charmer; Traveler was left alone to grow into a lover. Calderon would sit in silence with them forever, if only the circumstances of the universe would allow it.

Traveler’s compassion went beyond that of their older brother. It went beyond that of the average person, in fact. Once, when walking into the common room, Calderon heard a sniffle. Following the sound, he saw Traveler curled up on the couch. He immediately made his way over to them, brows furrowed in concern. They had their knees hugged to their chest, their face obscured. Soft sobs shook their frame. He called out for them, and they jumped, not having heard his approach. Only when their legs lowered did Calderon see the open book resting in their lap. The book Damon lent them ended with the dog dying, they explained, frowning, their lip still quivering slightly. With a fond smile, Cal reached out to wipe their tears. He cupped their cheek when he finished, moving forward to press a kiss to the top of their head. Truly, what had he done to deserve someone so sweet?

~~~~~~~~~~

Once, after a particularly rough nightmare, Traveler stumbled their way to the captain’s quarters. 

“I had a dream about Sorenn,” they said when the doors opened, still heaving and trying to catch their breath. “You are the only person I know who…I just…I need someone who understands losing him.” 

“You haven’t lost him fully,” Calderon whispered as he tugged them into his arms. “So much of him lives on in you.”

[pola-rola]

I'm really bored, so there's a little Yuu-sona or something like that. I don’t like to write on the pictures themselves (yeeah, sure), soooo...

A little backstory: like yuu-sona, I would also like to be based on some Disney character, and one day I was just looking around and was like, “hmm, I braid my hair with a polka dot scrunchie, I have black hair…. yeah, definitely Minnie." Yep, that's how it was. Well, besides, it seems to me that the design of the ghost camera fits, and of course friendship with Mickey, he didn’t mention her when he talked about friends, right?)) Besides, Minnie doesn’t belong to any specific cartoon, but this means she can play the role of both a hero and a villain, so getting into the NRC may well be justified, smart;)

So, now just a little randomness about this gal, and, accordingly, me:

• ISFJ (I don’t know what for, but just if you’re interested)

• at first she thought about hiding her real gender, making up something, playing dress-up to become look like a boy. But on the very first day of school, she realized that it's unnecessary, if they didn’t like something, it's their problem

• Purchased the uniform from Sam, because seriously, where else can you find a uniform that is the perfect size? She had to beg for money from the headmage; you want the students to look diligent, so you pay.

•"So, where is my computer? Where is my tablet? Where is my pen? How can I survive without this mmm???)))"

• The first time she was in Twisted Wonderland she constantly had a headache, because in her world she was not used to being in the fresh air so often and moving so often.

• It's raining men!

• "How can boys be so tall at such a young age?! It's crazy!"

• Sometimes throws in phrases and references in her native language, just because she can.

• In fact, she was really surprised that practically (for the most part) no one bullies her for her lack of magic. Like, "if this was my world, I'd be an outcast by now, seriously, guys, aren't you going to make fun of me or what?!"

• Sometimes falls into philosophical thoughts, like “Why is someone constantly trying to prove their strength here… why doesn’t anyone understand that we are all students, which means we are all equal? ​​Especially these idiots from Savanaclaw-” (yup, I really hate these npc guys)

• "Soooo… I found myself in another world, where ghosts, fairies, magic are all real, before that I was riding in a black carriage and woke up in a coffin in a black robe… The mirror said that my soul does not belong anywhere and its there’s nowhere to return…Hmm.. Hmmmm..! Does this mean that in my world I’m already dea- Oh, look, pies are on sale!”

• "Should I start charging money to solve your problems?"

• "Why is it always something? Like it's literally always freaking something........"

• Had to learn to cook to survive. Well, mostly because Grim whines that he can’t live on just scrambled eggs and burnt fried potatoes lol.

• Would like to join the Mountain Lovers' Club, but remembered how in her world she constantly excused herself from trips to the mountains or family overnight stays in tents by the lake. Nah..

• She likes this interesting world, but still at night she cries into her pillow because she misses his mom so much :(

• “Actually, in my world, I had already graduated from college, received a diploma and was just looking for a job. And you say that I need to start studying again from the first year?!”

• haha silly mirror, a test on the internet told me that I should go to Scarabia 💅

• REALLY wants to know what's going on in her world while she's here. Literally thinks about this almost every day

• "Lol guys, did you know that your Great Seven are actually bad guys? No, no, nothing, just breaking the fourth wall"

If it weren't for Grim, she probably would have remained a janitor forever. Like, seriously, have you seen how often mc speaks compared to other students? Totally matches my social awkwardness.

•Really very interested in this world, its history and especially other schools. Like, really, if all this turns out to be a dream and she'll return to her gray world of high-rise buildings, then at least she'll have something to remember.

• "They call me just "Pola" for a reason. And the reason is... Says her full name, which to a non-native speaker sounds like a spell to summon a demon.

•"Hey guys, look what I found. A bowling ball." This is Chenya's head.

•"Deuce is asking for my opinion and does not forget about my presence and is happy when I cheer for him #BFF🥺" (we have the same birthday by the way)

•"Ehehee Pola Trappola ehuehe.......… Just kidding, jeez!"

Phew, that was silly, but I hope you found it interesting haha

[astroreoreoreoreoreoreoreo]

back at it again with Astro's Charat Adventures Episode 2: Distruzione

the bug that made the color selector unusable was fixed but i would feel bad if i gave these guys proper colors when the others didn't get them so i still forced myself to only use the preset colors (except for skin, i used the color selector for that. to be fair there's more skintone variety in distru.)

i forgot just how many freaking people are on this team. it took me like three hours to do them all (for reference the other guys took me about an hour. tbf i did forget two of them but whatever)

as per usual i did not do Emerson Lake Palmer. this is definitely not because he doesn't actually have a design (if anyone wants to make one you are free to lol)

ok so first up we got April. idk why i did her first. she looks pretty cute and recognizable but that fucking waist thing was giving me an aneurysm. got that gender roles ass color scheme 8/10

next we got boss, both with and without his shades bc why not. he has piss yellow hair because the color options are bad, it's technically lore relevant, and also he deserves it. he looks so yass it's funny. he's not unrecognizable but i'm still giving it a 7/10 just cause i don't like him

try to guess who the hell this is. without process of elimination you would have no idea. to some extent that's because culto's design isn't that interesting to begin with but also it's because charat does not have a single one of his recognizable traits available. i will be honest- i didn't even bother looking that hard for a hairstyle for him. looked for like 30 seconds, remembered this is fucking charat, and just gave him this leon kuwata ass cut. unrecognizable and ugly, just like his passione counterpart. -1/10. the only reason culto's rating isn't lower is because the jeans are the right color

eva looks so cute. only problem is that charat hates short curly hairstyles. (see culto above.) i could have given her an afro i guess but then she would have no options for bangs. fuck off charat get some hair texture variety. this definitely isn't a perfect rendition of her design but she's adorable so 9/10

next we got marie feat. the flower pin eva gave her (but it's massive for some reason. believe me, that was the smallest i could make it) idk why she got those hatsune miku colors every other color i tried looked ugly. anyway marie is cute and recognizable so whatever. 9/10

hello sexy trans man i mean per. (kill me.) anyway I was surprised by how easy it was to find stuff for her. the only reason her dress is red now is because it was impossible to see if it was black and those stupid neon buttons (who the fuck thought, "oh yeah, people will love these piss ugly buttons that fuck up every look"?) looked really obvious. anyway per is the one whose design translated the best. 10/10

sammy!! his skin is like the surface of the sun. (it was a preset.) my eyes hurt looking at him. then again him being super pale checks out given his lore so whatever. surprised that charat was able to make sammy's design boring. where's his waist chain charat. where is it. anyway he's recognizable and isn't that ugly so whatever. 6/10

finally we got van. I feel like i should apologize to him for this. i found out while i was making culto that there was a hair option that would have looked more correct but i was not about to remake this guy to fix it. you wanna guess which clothing item the overalls counted as? not pants. not overcoats. they were in the fucking shirt section. i couldn't put anything under them. who the FUCK put them there. i want to do medical malpractice on them. 3/10 i'm so sorry van