#different) it suddenly becomes a lot more significant

[bitchthefuck1]

I never noticed this before, but in Austerlitz when Logan runs at Kendall like he might hit him, Roman tries to reach out and stop him.

The only other time we see Roman actually try to fight back or intervene is when Kendall tries to grab Shiv in the finale.

[lua-magic]

Intresting Astrology facts (Vedic Astrology)

When planets goes in your ancendent, whether you like it or not, you will get significance of that planet.

Venus in first house- Money and comfort will come to you easily, native gets attraction from opposite sex easily, and love to care or obsessed with self care.

Jupiter in first house- knowledge and education will come to you easily, native is morally strong and love teaching and counseling.

Mercury in first house- logic and sharp memory come to you. Many buisness person has this combination, they can remember names and face easily.

Mars in ancendent - Courage and energy comes to you easily. Native has fighting spirit.

Saturn in ascendant - maturity and work comes to you at an early age, since very young age such natives start their work.

Sun in ancendent - Ego and confidence comes to native easily, native is disciplined and attached to father and family.

Moon in first house- Emotions, writing comes to you naturally. Native get emotional easily, has motherly nature.

Rahu in first house - Multiple personality, native can switch his personality easily and has out of box thinking

Ketu in first house- Spiritual and detached, has connections with super concious or spiritual realm, has habit of talking to himself/herself, and always in imaginary world as ketu is connecting you to different world

Whichever planets goes in 🐟♓ Pisces planets loose their strength because it is sign of liberation and planets are going towards liberation.

So, don't be surprised if you have planets in Pisces and people leave you easily, it is because they are finishing their Karma with you, feel happy as you are getting liberation from Karma, only if you let them go easily, that is why ketu is exalted, because it can let go

Sun in Pisces - Problems with father, and boss, you will loose your ego slowly, and become more grounded, but here sun in Pisces is actually moving towards next sign ie Aries where it gets exalted, so sun is actually going towards exaltation, but, sun here will force you finish all your egos from your relationship ie Sunnis not considered melefics here, it just looses it strength, but it will make you humble and connect you to spiritual world and makes you spiritual.

In past life you had lot of ego in your relationship that is why one reason you got sun in Pisces

Moon Pieces - Problems with mother and balancing your own emotions, Pisces is actually your past life, planets in past life has past life karmic debt, so here you have lot of past life emotions attached to you still.

You have to let go all those emotions, though moon here makes you imaginative and gives deja vu, because moon here remembers your past birth.

Mostly native come back to same family after rebirth to finish pending karmas, native would be attached to roots and ancestors, as Pisces is sign of ancestors as well.

Native would be great healer and empath.

In past life native has some unfinished buisness or died suddenly hence, native comes to same family.

Sometimes, in some cases native has unknown fear it because past life sudden death.

MARS in Pisces - Problems with brother or problems in romantic relationships, here native energy will go mostly on bed pleasure as Piesces is bed pleasure, but problem is that more native goes back of bed pleasure more troublesome relationship he/ she invites.

Native would be skill full, and is multitasking, Mars here is telling you to preserve your sexual energy, I am not telling not to have sex or not to get involved in sex after marriage, but, don't run back of sex and intimacy instead use it to grow spiritually, transmute your sexual energy in your spiritual energy.

Mercury in Pisces - Problems with friends and sleeping issues because Mercury is fast moving planet, and Pisces is sign of sleep, Mercury placed in Pisces gives you sleep problems and somewhat makes you selfish as well.

Mercury is debilitated here,

Here, you need to come out of Me mentally and focus on how you can serve others, Mercury is your logic and Pisces is sign of subconscious, hence, native faces lot of confusions in life, and takes lot of wrong descision in life.

Jupiter Pisces, little tricky, because in its own sign but your relationship with your husband and kids will be karmic, don't be surprised if you get hurt many times by your soulmate, because it is your karmic debt.

Saturn in Pisces - Problems in work life, with your job, now, Saturn here has one work that is to liberate you, Saturn will give you here foreign travel as well as hospitalisation.

More, you behave like Saturn, means don't try too hard, more Saturn bless you.

Yes, Saturn here wants you to focus on your inner spiritual wealth rather than outer material wealth more you try hard more insecure you become, so start changing your inner first ie your belief, trying too hard simply means you assume that you don't deserve good things in life and it doesn't come to you easily, let things go easily, and work on your beliefs Saturn will bless you, don't try to hoard things nor get insecure when you loose, Saturn is dry planet, you have to be emotionally dry from material world, then Saturn will liberate you, hence, Saturn is both exalted, if you behave like Saturn but also debi because it will trouble you if you don't give importance to spiritual wealth.

Ketu and Venus both are exalted.

Rahu in twelfth House Rahu being shadow planet it has both good and not so good aspect, means it is your choice which one you choose, either you can choose bed pleasure and lot of relationship or you can choose spiritual growth it is up to you .

Rahu gives here foreign travel and astral travel as well.

In past life native would be associated with some kind of witchcraft or occult or black magic hence native would experience pull towards conspiracy theories, and occult.

Native also attaract spirits easily to himself/herself, and native has lot of karmic relationship with spirits, sounds suprising, but if you work with spirits in any form you establish connections to it, hence in this life they experience spirits visiting them especially while sleeping, as Pisces is sign of sleep .

They also has unknown fear of ghosts and spirits in their mind...

If you understand astrology more in details you will understand how, houses control our outer atmosphere.

If you have lack of energy and passion it is because your fire house is imbalanced ie one, five and nine

If you have emotional issues your water house is imbalanced ie four, eighth and twelfth

If you have problems with your creativity then your air sign is imbalanced ie, 3,7,and 11.

If you have 🤑 money problems then your earth sign is imbalanced ie 2,6 and 10.

To solve money related issues start from Taurus, that is your eating, hence moon is exalted here. Eat balance diet and more boiled (Sun)and green food(Mercury), avoid packet foods (Saturn) spicy food( Rahu) and unhealthy fast foods (Mars).

Then move to virgo your daily routine, start being disciplined and early riser (Sun).

Then move to Capricorn ♑ Many people know Capricorn as house of karma and duty but do you know why Saturn holds the lordship of 10thbhouse, because it also house of patience and dignity.

So in simple words many people will try to defame you you, critisise you, blame you, put wrong allegations, think you small but you have to rise above all and keep doing your work, that is why after Capricorn ♑ comes Aquarius that is house of manifestation, because only when you stay humble when people critisise you, you move to 11th house that is of wish fulfilment.

[dimespin]

Saratoan Life Stages

The simple rule of thumb for guessing a Saratoan dragon's human-age is a kind of reverse dog years - divide their age by 2 and there you are. But as is the case with dog years, Saratoans develop on their own timeline.

They themselves understand their ages based on set of teeth, of which they can have a maximum of 7 across their lifetime.

First Teeth

The first set of teeth erupt shortly after the joey detaches from the mother's body about 6 months after the initial birth and arrival in the pouch. The joey is not yet old enough to permanently leave the pouch at 6 months but a few months later they will leave the pouch permanently and spend a few years clinging to their mother's back instead.

The development timeline for a joey has some similarities with human children (they start talking around the same time) and differences (they take their first wobbly steps as soon as they make their first venture out of the pouch around 6 months)

Compared to their extended lifespan these years are quite accelerated!

This set of teeth as well as the next lacks the pronounced canines the species is known for, very much looking like the teeth of what they are, an herbivore.

This set of teeth is shed at about age 6

Second Teeth

The next set of teeth are heavily associated with the age group called sub-adults, but they aren't officially considered sub-adults until age 15.

Sub-adults are still considered a type of child, but nonetheless are very independent. They are generally at similar levels of education as humans the same age, most of them work and many live away from their families full or part time.

Legally they occupy a separate category from either children or adults, with restrictions intended to protect them like lower legal working hours and it not being legal to sell them things like cigarettes, but they are also legally allowed to live apart from their family even if the family would prefer otherwise.

While they can earn professional certificates and credentials through education they are legally barred from many professional fields and must wait to use those credentials for adulthood. Because of this many take on apprentice or intern like jobs in their desired field to gain experience while waiting to be able to work in the field.

Despite the fact many of them work or are in college and can speak and think as you'd expect of a same-age human, they are known for being a bit childish, still having a drive to play, and sometimes still being emotionally immature and impulsive.

This is the stage at which their physical aging starts to slow down, so they do not hit their adult height until closer to when they get their next set of teeth. Growth does not completely stop but many sub-adults are markedly short compared to adults.

This set is shed at about age 30

Third Teeth

At age 30 Saratoans hit puberty and have their final growth spurt, reaching their adult height around the same time as their teeth start falling out and growing back in (for the Atau full adult height is usually reached around 35, but the tooth milestone and puberty still happens around the same time)

At this age they often become aware of their sexuality and between this and the expectations of whether or not they will reproduce, social roles within their culture are decided and imposed.

As they enter this age group there can be a lot of upheaval in their lives as they suddenly move from education to professional careers, move out, become parents, lose childhood friends and gain new ones, etc., depending on the individual

While they are culturally viewed as adults they are still often condescended to by older adults who view them as still being a bit wet behind the ears.

This set of teeth is shed at about age 65

Fourth Teeth

This set of teeth is associated with the approach of middle age. Normal adults generally dealing with life with now a significant amount of experience, but still with a huge population around them with more experience still.

This age group has a reputation for sometimes being annoying according to elders, as they are second only to sub-adults in their likelihood to rebel. This is the first time many of them have experienced adults (third teeth) showing them respect and following their lead on things, and this makes some start to view themselves as able to question those above them. This is especially annoying as this is also the time when many of them begin being trained for their future as house elders if they are in the position to take that role.

This age group and the next are the ones most likely to make a show of dominance smiling, as the tension between groups of adults who would otherwise be peers becomes heightened. Previous groups had no one to lord their age based social hierarchy position over but those they viewed as literal children, but now with other adults to pull rank on, the age based fights begin to reach their peak.

This set of teeth is shed at about age 100

Fifth Teeth

This set of teeth is associated with middle age and the time shortly after. Many start showing signs of aging during this time, with wrinkles and graying hair starting to appear.

During this time many start to see their fertility slowing down, with pregnancies becoming pretty much unheard of after age 130.

Many in this age group are already taking on important management roles within the house structure, as they are in the important position of both being old enough to command respect from many but still being fairly physically healthy and fit

This set of teeth is shed at about age 135

Sixth Teeth

The last set of teeth many Saratoans ever grow but not the last possible set. This set is associated with elders who are not the house leader. Often seen in the house leader's partner and eldest children within the house structure. Also often seen in older adults who choose to live outside the house structure system.

Saratoans health and signs of aging keep pretty stable from the previous age group through this one, accelerating much more around age 170, when they tend to lose the remaining color in their hair, thinning of the hair becomes visible on the arms and legs, and health decline and age related health conditions start to become a real problem.

This set of teeth is only shed under the circumstance of being left as the most dominant one within a family or group, often due to the death of the house leader when they were the next eldest individual.

Seventh Teeth

The last possible set of teeth when the canines become long enough they permanently protrude from the mouth at all times and unlike the other teeth are dry at all times. Because of this they are called tusks.

Tusked elders are stereotyped as very calm and patient and not interested in making a show of their dominance. They cannot meaningfully hide or reveal their teeth so they tend to relax about commanding respect simply for the sake of it as fourth and fifth teeth often do.

These teeth are only ever seen in the eldest dominant figure within a group. While it is technically possible to develop them after age 140, and much more rarely, as early as 100, it's more common to see them in individuals closer to 160 or more.

Saratoans generally live to be around 200, with the majority dying of old age closer to 190 or so, but still a few live past 200, with 210 being rare but not totally unheard of. There are rumors of even older individuals occurring but the records are sketchy

[tokidokitokyo]

Cool Kanji Party Tricks

Or “How I Use Kanji to Impress My Friends”

Learning kanji can be daunting, especially for those just starting out in their Japanese studies. There are two thousand standard kanji needed to read a newspaper, but Japanese people know and use many thousands more. There are several methods available to self study kanji (just do a quick Google search to find the most popular), but any serious study of kanji takes time. Lots of time. It can feel like studying kanji over and over is a waste of time, especially since you have the internet at your fingertips to look things up at any time. However, I really believe that having a good foundation in kanji is essential to mastering Japanese, and I wanted to share what I call "cool party tricks" to encourage you in your kanji studies.

What are "cool kanji party tricks"? This is just a list of things I have noticed that having a solid understanding of kanji will allow you to do. I have been studying Japanese for more than 10 years, and most of these things I just noticed one day in an a-ha moment, and even though someone had told me for years that learning and practicing kanji is important, it took several realizations for me to truly grasp what that meant. I would say that many of these require an intermediate grasp of the language to be able to use consistently, but I think that you can start doing any of these after achieving a basic foundation in the Japanese language.

So when your hand is cramped from writing the same kanji for hours, when on'yomi and kun'yomi have become swear words, and when you lost that one little point on the exam because the kanji you were supposed to use was only off by one stroke from the kanji you actually used... I hope you will remember this post and feel a little bit encouraged.

Find the appropriate kanji to use when typing in the romaji/hiragana on a computer/phone

Since I started my Japanese studies during high school, the formal classes I was taking had me writing out kanji for homework in order to remember it and to be able to pass the quizzes and exams. So I spent many hours writing out kanji only to end up with hand cramps and ugly looking written characters. It took ages and the stream of kanji that I had to learn seemed endless. However, one benefit I quickly saw was that I was able to quickly adapt to typing in Japanese on a computer/phone because I was able to correctly identify the kanji that I had practiced, and knew which one to select when several choices came up.

In Japanese, many words have the same sounds but different kanji and meanings (these are called homophones). So when you type in the hiragana or romaji for a word into the keyboard, it will prompt you with a list of kanji to choose from. Being able to correctly select the right one is something I suddenly realized I could do one day, even if I hadn't used the word often. I knew and could recall a larger number of kanji than I thought, and I could eliminate any incorrect kanji for the word I was trying to use. Having a good solid foundation in kanji characters means that you don't have to go look up every word in the dictionary to check that you have the right kanji, and you also don't have to leave the word in kana because you can't guess the right kanji, but rather you are confident enough to pick the correct kanji for the word on your own. This makes typing more efficient and saves time!

Understand the meaning of a word just by looking at the kanji

When you know a significant amount of kanji and what they mean, sometimes when you encounter new compound words you can guess at what they mean. Or if you are like me and sometimes forget how to read words you are already supposed to know, you can magically relearn them by looking at the kanji and interpreting the meaning. So sometimes when I am reading text in Japanese and I see a compound I don't know, I can interpret the meaning from context and from my understanding of the individual kanji, and continue through the text without stopping to look up the word. This helps you to get the gist of a text without having to look up all the words, and is how you can start reading more advanced books or manga.

Guess at the pronunciation of a word from the kanji

On the flip side of the previous cool party trick is being able to guess how to pronounce a word by knowing the on'yomi and kun'yomi of the kanji, and therefore being able to guess at the pronunciation of a word. Unless the word has 人 or 生 in it. This helps most when reading out loud in class or to another person. It will also help you to feel smug about yourself while reading a book that is of a more advanced level and being able to determine the reading of several compound words in a row.

Understanding a new word using kanji clues

As an extension of the previous cool party tricks, I eventually reached the point where I could hear a word in conversation that I had never heard before, and figure out the meaning using kanji clues.

For example, not all Japanese people know English (shocking, right?), and busting out your phone to look up every single word you don't know can become burdensome in continuing the flow of a conversation. So, if I hear a word that I don't know during a conversation (and the continuation or flow of the conversation hinges on my understanding of the word), I will stop the person and either ask what kanji the word is written with, or if I have a guess I will ask "is this using the kanji for X?" This way I can gain clues to the key word without stopping the flow of conversation too much. (It's also a fun way to show off to Japanese speakers.)

For example, if you hear the word jishin (じしん) in conversation, and you aren't sure which meaning the speaker intended:

自信 self-confidence

自身 one's self

You can ask:

"Did you mean 自信 (jishin) with the "shin" from 信用 (shin'you) or did you mean 自身 (jishin) with the "mi" (another pronunciation of 身) as in one's body?"

Then the person can respond:

"Oh, I mean 身 (mi)! As in, 自分自身 (jibun jishin), or one's self."

Then, you can continue the conversation, having an understanding of what the speaker is saying and not having to take out your phone to translate as often. This also can give the person you are speaking to a better sense of your level and help them to tailor the conversation to you.

[I hope this conveys what I am trying to illustrate ^.^]

TL;DR: Kanji is Fun

Honestly, when kanji clicks and you can read words or understand their meanings, it's like deciphering a secret code, and this is one of the things I find so cool about Japanese, and why I have studied it for so long. So if you are just starting out and are daunted by kanji - don't worry. I am still daunted by kanji, but I also find it a useful tool to improve my knowledge of Japanese and to communicate in a way many people cannot. I hope this information was useful and inspires you to suffer through learn more kanji.

[miseria-fortes-viros]

-> declan bringing ashley to monmouth. ashley, the raven boys, chapter 4. (we’re meant to look pretty for her.)

this is one of the first chapters where we really get to know a lot about our characters, and ashley being there—combined with adam suddenly being aware that they are observed when it’s clear he didn’t feel that way immediately preceding the start of the book—lead me to believe that the fourth wall is very thin here.

-> ashley, this is noah, can you see him?

ashley is one of the only characters outside of the gangsey themselves who is not only able to see noah but also to meet and interact with him.

-> (your hands are cold. (i’ve been dead for seven years.))

ashley is also the first person that noah says this to within the confines of the narrative himself. nobody is surprised when he says this, so clearly he does make these jokes a lot, but it’s significant that we, the reader, hear this for the first time when it’s directed at ashley—ashley who, like us, just got here and doesn’t (can’t) know the significance of this interaction until after everything is over.

-> adam. (don’t you feel observed? someone is looking in when they weren’t before.) the raven boys, chapter 4.

adam: wary, adam: watchful. adam feels the eyes of the reader when the others do not; adam becomes aware of us as soon as we become aware of him. no sooner is ashley named than adam is introduced; no sooner is ashley introduced than adam is wary of her.

ashley (f, gaelic: aislinn): dream, vision

-> (three ashleys) (three brothers) (three witches) (nine’s very three plus three plus three) (6:21) (3+3:+3)

-> declan started hating me first. it was all because declan loved ronan.

-> this is not the first time

declan lynch was 18 the first time matthew fell asleep (was ronan dead)

-> gansey. where’s ronan? i don’t know. something’s wrong. something’s happened to him. how do you know? i can’t explain. i don’t know. we fought. something’s wrong

he’s your dog, gansey (i can’t help him any more (i’m killing him and i don’t know how to stop))

-> he trusted gansey (he still worried about ronan (he never stopped worrying about ronan))

i want you to meet ashley. yes again it’s a different ashley (i need to check in with you) is ronan around? he shouldn’t be (we’ll fight if he’s there (i need to know how he’s doing (he’ll hate me more for hovering)))

-> ronan please just tell me it won’t happen again i’m doing everything i can to keep you both alive

the brothers lynch (a dreamer (a dream (declan)))

-> half none of declan’s surviving family was real. half a dreamer. half a dream. to lose one is to lose the other (part of ronan died when niall did (part of ronan died when his dreamer did))

ronan lynch was 18 when a demon nearly unmade him (the second time matthew fell asleep (the second time declan almost lost them both at once (was ronan dead)))

-> declan cannot let go (if he lets go who will hang on (who will live without him fighting tooth and nail to keep them))

matthew lynch was 18 when he punched his eldest brother in the face (matthew lynch was 18 the third time declan almost became the last living lynch)

-> was ronan dead

declan bringing ashley to monmouth. ashley, the raven boys, chapter 4. ashley (f, gaelic: aislinn): dream, vision. three ashleys. three brothers. three dreamers. three sleepers. three witches. three murders. nine’s very three plus three plus three

(i look just like my father (so do you (every time i see your blood on my knuckles i remember him dead in the driveway (every time i look at you i see the face of a dead man))))

-> was ronan dead

declan brings ashley to monmouth.

[reelmegabyte]

ever wonder why spotify/discord/teams desktop apps kind of suck?

i don't do a lot of long form posts but. I realized that so many people aren't aware that a lot of the enshittification of using computers in the past decade or so has a lot to do with embedded webapps becoming so frequently used instead of creating native programs. and boy do i have some thoughts about this.

for those who are not blessed/cursed with computers knowledge Basically most (graphical) programs used to be native programs (ever since we started widely using a graphical interface instead of just a text-based terminal). these are apps that feel like when you open up the settings on your computer, and one of the factors that make windows and mac programs look different (bc they use a different design language!) this was the standard for a long long time - your emails were served to you in a special email application like thunderbird or outlook, your documents were processed in something like microsoft word (again. On your own computer!). same goes for calendars, calculators, spreadsheets, and a whole bunch more - crucially, your computer didn't depend on the internet to do basic things, but being connected to the web was very much an appreciated luxury!

that leads us to the eventual rise of webapps that we are all so painfully familiar with today - gmail dot com/outlook, google docs, google/microsoft calendar, and so on. as html/css/js technology grew beyond just displaying text images and such, it became clear that it could be a lot more convenient to just run programs on some server somewhere, and serve the front end on a web interface for anyone to use. this is really very convenient!!!! it Also means a huge concentration of power (notice how suddenly google is one company providing you the SERVICE) - you're renting instead of owning. which means google is your landlord - the services you use every day are first and foremost means of hitting the year over year profit quota. its a pretty sweet deal to have a free email account in exchange for ads! email accounts used to be paid (simply because the provider had to store your emails somewhere. which takes up storage space which is physical hard drives), but now the standard as of hotmail/yahoo/gmail is to just provide a free service and shove ads in as much as you need to.

webapps can do a lot of things, but they didn't immediately replace software like skype or code editors or music players - software that requires more heavy system interaction or snappy audio/visual responses. in 2013, the electron framework came out - a way of packaging up a bundle of html/css/js into a neat little crossplatform application that could be downloaded and run like any other native application. there were significant upsides to this - web developers could suddenly use their webapp skills to build desktop applications that ran on any computer as long as it could support chrome*! the first applications to be built on electron were the late code editor atom (rest in peace), but soon a whole lot of companies took note! some notable contemporary applications that use electron, or a similar webapp-embedded-in-a-little-chrome as a base are:

microsoft teams

notion

vscode

discord

spotify

anyone! who has paid even a little bit of attention to their computer - especially when using older/budget computers - know just how much having chrome open can slow down your computer (firefox as well to a lesser extent. because its just built better <3)

whenever you have one of these programs open on your computer, it's running in a one-tab chrome browser. there is a whole extra chrome open just to run your discord. if you have discord, spotify, and notion open all at once, along with chrome itself, that's four chromes. needless to say, this uses a LOT of resources to deliver applications that are often much less polished and less integrated with the rest of the operating system. it also means that if you have no internet connection, sometimes the apps straight up do not work, since much of them rely heavily on being connected to their servers, where the heavy lifting is done.

taking this idea to the very furthest is the concept of chromebooks - dinky little laptops that were created to only run a web browser and webapps - simply a vessel to access the google dot com mothership. they have gotten better at running offline android/linux applications, but often the $200 chromebooks that are bought in bulk have almost no processing power of their own - why would you even need it? you have everything you could possibly need in the warm embrace of google!

all in all the average person in the modern age, using computers in the mainstream way, owns very little of their means of computing.

i started this post as a rant about the electron/webapp framework because i think that it sucks and it displaces proper programs. and now ive swiveled into getting pissed off at software services which is in honestly the core issue. and i think things can be better!!!!!!!!!!! but to think about better computing culture one has to imagine living outside of capitalism.

i'm not the one to try to explain permacomputing specifically because there's already wonderful literature ^ but if anything here interested you, read this!!!!!!!!!! there is a beautiful world where computers live for decades and do less but do it well. and you just own it. come frolic with me Okay ? :]

*when i say chrome i technically mean chromium. but functionally it's same thing

[rs-hawk]

Healer in the Dungeon: Part Two

Cis!Male Reader x Intersex Minotaur Women and multiple women with phallic magic (a Sphinx, A Gryffin and an Elf)

Words: 3,556 (a little longer than commissioned but oh well!)

Commissioner: @Gviridian

Contains: mpreg, slight coercion, unusual phalluses, double and triple penetration, and a lot more!

Cont. of previous, Witches (non-human?) approach the Minotaur Commune to ask about how they learned Healing magic. Meeting happens in front of Healer getting a train run on him, three sisters didn't care which of them sired a daughter but each wanted a taste of him. Witches become VERY interested in making men get pregnant. Short ritual is done, Healer doesn't mind the poking and prodding of the strange women as he sits, nude, face buried in his Tauress' hefty sack. Witches conclude that, because he has literally been repeatedly saturated in powerful insemination magic, Healer has become a Universal Breeder. Witches barter for a single breeding of Healer, thanks to the shorter gestation time of the Minotaurs the next period is only 6 months away. The Commune negotiation an agreeable fare and the date is set, with a Chaperone of course. The day is arrives and Tauress bids him to be obedient and to make the Commune proud. His Chaperone enjoys a day of garden relaxation, fresh fruits, and front row seat to Healer getting used. Their Goddess had granted the Witches a temporary phallus, each different based on their personality and tastes, with the full blessing to bring a new age forward. Healer makes his Tauress proud by serving the Witches well and letting them enjoy the new pleasures. Soon he is helping unload fresh produce from the Witches while singing to his sweet daughters, and sporting a fresh ritual tattoo lower back. He genuinely is unsure what species his new daughter will be but he will be happy regardless. At this point Healer probably only wears basically Minotaur cultural jewelry and colored ribbons, having become very comfortable being nude around the women of his new life.

You were happy. Happier than you think you had ever been. You don’t know how long it had been since you first decided to stay in the dungeon with your new wife and the rest of her commune, but it had to have been at least a few years. Even with a few multiple pregnancies, and a few times you decided to use your magic to speed up the gestation process when you had reasons to worry, you still had so many daughters that you knew significant time had to have passed.

So, it was no surprise that by the time the Witches came, your loving wife and her commune were fairly proficient at the basics of Healing magic. The Witches had heard whispers of a Minotaur herd that had somehow learned of such magic that was normally out of their reach. Your wife, Pasi (named after her great grandmother, Pasiphae), was the first one to interact with the Witches. Of course, she had assumed that, like the majority of travelers in the dungeon, that they were here to finish the dungeon and get the promised loot. When instead of tearing them to shreds, she returned with them, you were confused but intrigued.

“Here he is. My husband,” Pasi’s words dripped with affection and pride as she looked down at you from where you were pinned under one of the three sisters who had recently joined the herd.

You tried to smile back up at her, but when the Minotaur woman who was holding you down slammed inside of you, your eyes rolled back in your head, distracting you. You whimpered as she used you roughly, her large hands pinning you to the rough dungeon floor. The new joins had been so eager to get their hands on you, that the sisters didn’t even take you to a nest or bed. Instead opting to breed you where you stood as soon as it was agreed they could take it upon themselves to see who would technically breed you first.

While one sister was rough with your ass, grunting and moaning as she felt you stretch around her, another suddenly plunged into your mouth. You did your best to relax your throat, especially as you did not want to embarrass your wife in front of new members or company, but you couldn’t help but gag on her. The sisters laughed before the third started stroking herself over you. When one came inside you, they switched positions. It was clear at this point that it didn’t actually matter to them who got to breed you this time. They all just wanted a turn at using the herd’s breeding toy.

Through the haze of pleasure fogging your brain, and the sound of the women using you however they pleased, you could hear your wife talking to the other three women. The Witches.

“You see, when he came here, I decided to keep him,” your wife said proudly, looking back over at you. “He is very resilient, and well versed in magic. He’s even taught the majority of the commune, as well as his daughters. They are very talented. My husband is a great teacher.”

“He is the breeder you have been boasting about?” the Sphinx asked as she examined you, her pupils turning from slit to wide circles, revealing her interest.

“Yes, and the best I have ever seen. Human men usually aren’t happy with this, but he is a natural, and such a good father and mate,” your wife was obviously pleased with even these strange women’s interest in you. Clearly she had made an excellent choice in keeping you.

The Elf woman was the first to approach you, watching the way you stretched and took the bull women. “I can smell the changes to his body. You have changed his very biology.”

“How so?” Pasi asked, chuckling softly as the sister fucking your mouth shoved herself fully inside of you, cumming so much down your throat that it extended your throat even more, and caused you to gag as you did your best not to waste a drop by swallowing.

“He has been subjected to so much insemination magic that I believe he has become a Universal breeder,” she smiled, her long, pale ears arching forward excitedly. “Of course, there are a few tests that we would have to run to be sure…”

“Do you feel up to that, little human?” your wife asked you, watching as the Minotaur in front of you slowly pulled out of your throat, letting you gasp for breath again.

“If you wish me to be, love. I would be happy to,” you rasped, your throat a bit sore after the onslaught of use without the opportunity for any kind of healing.

Pasi excused the three sisters, who seemed a little disappointed, but bid you good-bye. Of course not before promising not to take it so easy on you next time. The thought made your denied cock throb with anticipation. Once you were more or less cleaned up, Pasi instructed you to sit on your knees, and listen to the Witches. You nodded happily, feeling drool pool in your mouth and she took out her cock.

“If you promise to behave yourself, you can suck while they perform their tests,” she promised, sitting with her legs spread.

You promised over and over to behave yourself before crawling over to her, burying her cock in your throat. Your lips pressed firmly against the base, feeling her large cock all the way down your throat. It was impossible not to breathe in her musky scent, which only made your still denied cock throb even more. As if on cue, the Gryffin, who had been the most reserved until now, wrapped her dangerous talons around it. You groaned against your wife’s cock, looking up at her for approval. She smirked slightly at you, ruffling your hair affectionately. With her apparent approval, you allowed yourself to be lost in the pleasure. You rolled and bucked your hips against the Gryffin’s hand, whimpering as you quickly felt your orgasm approaching. Just as she was about to push you over the edge, she stopped.

A disappointed groan escaped your lips as you nestled your mouth more comfortably onto your wife’s cock, effectively cockwarming her with your throat. The other women, though you don’t know which ones, start spreading your legs, watching the way your cock twitches, watching how you react to fingers shoved in your now breeding hole, how much you can take before it seemed to cause you pain. What seemed to be most importantly, they ran magic through your body as they took turns fingering you, setting every nerve on fire.

“How much for one gestation?” the Sphinx asked, curling two of her fingers inside of you.

“My husband is apart of my community. He stays here,” your wife huffed, pushing your head somehow even further on her cock.

“He is a Universal Breeder. Even a human could breed him with how much insemination magic has been pumped into him. Please, it would just be one gestation. Surely we could come to some sort of agreement,” the Elf said in a kind, soothing voice. She sounded so elegant. Regal. Even you found yourself with your eyes tracking her as she walked around your side to stand next to your wife. “We would take excellent care of him, and naturally we wouldn’t expect to have him exclusively the entire time. It’s just, we are a small coven, as you can see. Our Goddess needs more followers, and children are always the best way to build such a community. Surely you of all monstresses know that.”

Your wife huffed again, her large hand keeping you in place, impossibly deep in your throat. You were doing your best not to choke or gag on her, but when she bucked up into your mouth as your tongue trailed the underside of her cock, you couldn’t help it. That seemed to make her remember that you were there, drawing her eyes back to you. After watching your eyes water, and enjoying the way your throat was constricting around her massive cock, she finally let go of your head, letting you pull yourself up just enough to be able to catch a breath.

“I suppose. He could also use a little break from the dankness of the dungeon, I’m sure,” she said after a moment before adding, “but his next daughter will be from a set of sisters. We have already decided.”

“The ones that we saw earlier?” the Elf asked, to which your wife nodded. “That is no problem at all. The time will allow for us to iron out any details, for observation, and for us to get everything for the ritual.”

“Rital?” Pasi asked, her eyebrow arching.

As the two women spoke, the Sphinx was back to fingering your ass, with the Gryffin once again stroking your cock. All of that in combination with the feeling of your wife’s cock throbbing and pulsing inside your throat made you cum, your body nearly convulsing with how long you had been being edged. Your hearing seemed fuzzy as the women talked, but before too long, your wife was scooping you up to carry you back to her bed.

You found out that after the sisters’ had their turn with you, you were promised to the Witches with your sister in law accompanying you as a chaperone. Your cock ached at the idea of her watching these strange women use and breed you. Soon enough, your stomach was once again swollen with one of the sister’s daughter, though none of you knew which one’s it was. Not that it mattered. You were all delighted to see that one of their seed had taken root.

Even by the commune’s standards, you were pampered during this pregnancy. Not only did they want to show the sisters how to treat you while you were round with their child, but they all were a little distraught at the idea of you being gone. Many kept pulling you onto their cocks, filling you as they cleaned and nosed your hair, telling you that they would look after your daughters while you were gone. Even the more selfish ones were surprisingly affectionate, bringing you to the edge over and over again before finally letting you finish as they bounced you on their cocks. Your wife was more protective of you than usual as well, almost never letting you fall asleep without being nestled firmly on her cock so she knew you couldn’t be stolen away in the night.

You were given two weeks after your last Minotaur daughter’s birth before you were whisked away. The idea of leaving your precious daughters, not to mention your wife and the rest of her herd, was heart breaking, but your wife took you aside to speak to you before you and your sister in law set off.

“You will be a good boy for me, won’t you, little human?” she purred, brushing your hair out of your face.

“Yes ma’am,” you nodded seriously, looking up at her with earnest.

“You will obey and listen to them as you would me, understand? They are going to take good care of you for the next few weeks,” she said a bit more seriously, cupping your face. Once again you nod. She snorted, her warm breath comforting on your face. After a moment, she took one of the ribbons from her hair, braiding it into yours. To your surprise, you flushed slightly at the clear display of possession. She pushed her forehead to yours. “You are mine, little human. Do not forget your place. I know you will do well for me.”

“Never, my love. I will make you proud and I will see you soon,” you beamed, excited by her praise.

With one last kiss, your sister in law took you to the edge of the dungeon. It had been a long time since you even cared to wander to this section of the dungeon. It was easy enough to find, and even easier to just walk out, but you had no need to leave. The harsh sunlight made you shield your eyes, as did your sister in law. After the moment it took for your eyes to adjust, you two set off to meet the Witches at the small farm not far from the dungeon. They had bought it for the ritual, to ensure that you would have the chance to spend time with your daughter after her birth and so if for any reason your wife had to come retrieve you, or simply wanted to check on you, she would be able to with ease. Knowing you weren’t going far helped to put your nerves to bed.

“You will have a fine time, brother in law,” your sister in law smirked as she saw you look over your shoulder towards home. “You have a great honor to be able to bring more magic to the dungeon, you know. Who would have thought that such a little human would be so useful.”

You don’t say anything, though your face does flush slightly even at her backhanded praise. Your sister in law was always eager to breed you, but she did seem a bit annoyed at times to have a human full time in the dungeon. Knowing that that wasn’t the case made a spot of pride bud in your chest.

When you arrived at the farm, the Witches greeted you eagerly. Part of you had thought that you would be bred immediately, but instead they wanted to show you around, make you comfortable. You were shown the gardens and even a small spring in the back. Your sister in law was happy to be able to do a small bit of farming and harvesting, settled in for a long show by the time the Witches felt you were ready for them.

“I hope you have come prepared with plenty of potions,” the Gryffin smirked, her predatory eyes gleaming in the bright sunlight.

“I did,” you nod hurriedly, opening the bag you carried with you. Potions and spell bundles that only needed a few words spoken to take effect. “It’s always better to be prepared.”

“Indeed,” her smirk grew, showing off her sharp teeth.

You gulped, excited but a little unnerved. You looked towards your sister in law for reassurance, who only winked at you. While you knew she would step in if you were severely hurt, you weren’t sure if she would before that. A coil of excitement and fear intertwined curled in your stomach. The three Witches laid you down on a patch of grass that had strange symbols pressed into the surrounding dirt. You were surprised when they cast off their robes, and all you saw were already dripping cunts. Naturally you knew better than to ask, but your perplexion must have showed on your face.

“We don’t have them all the time. You are our first, but our Goddess has given us a way to grow a breeding phallus,” the Elf explained as she approached you.

She straddled your face, riding your mouth. You eagerly began to lick up her slick, teasing her clit with your tongue. In seconds, her clit began to harden and lengthen. Before you realized it, she was grinding a large cock into your mouth, her heavy ballsack resting on your chin. The Sphinx took your mouth, quickly face fucking you like a wild animal, her claws tearing at the grass beside your face. You winced slightly at the barbs on her cock, and wondered how that would feel breeding and fucking you. When the Griffin had her turn, you felt as though your mouth was going to be ripped open. You barely were able to lick her before she was face fucking you, grabbing your face and shoving her entirety down your throat.

The Witches all pulled away from you, watching you catch your breath. Once again you looked at your sister in law, who was lazily munching on an apple, her hard cock already leaking at the sight of you being used. Before you could draw your eyes back to the Witches, you were already flipped onto your stomach, legs spread and pressed nearly to your chest. You felt a hot, rough tongue on your ass, prepping you for only a moment before with one thrust, the Sphinx shoved herself inside of you. There was nothing you could do but try to relax and grunt out a few healing and protection spells. She was merciless with you, cramming herself so deep inside of you that you thought you might burst.

When she came, she fell on top of you, purring so loud that it made your body vibrate. The other two Witches urged her to share, but her barbs were spread, forcing her to stay inside of you. The Elf rolled her eyes, but the Gryffin was impatient. She grabbed the back of your head, pushing her splittingly huge cock inside of you. You were immediately gagging and choking on her. She was bigger than your wife, which you didn’t think was possible. She curled her talons in your hair, slamming your head up and down. It didn’t take her long to cum down your throat, and by then, the Sphinx was able to pull aside for the Elf to push inside your ass. She was the smallest of the three, but still large compared to a human. Her cock was smooth and hot, nearly identical to a human’s in appearance. She came rather quickly as well, not even trying to touch your dripping cock.

Then the Gryffin finally bred you, her huge cock hotter than the rest, so hot you thought you might burn. You had assumed she would be more like a bird, basically being able to bred you with her cunt, but maybe this was more fun for her. Not that you had much time to think about it as she fucked every thought out of you. After they each had their turn, you lay spent on the ground, stuffed with their cum. You thought you were done. There was no way that none of their seed would take. Your head rolled to the side to look at your sister in law, who was grinning at you, slowly palming her throbbing cock at the way you were being used.

Just as your eyes closed, you felt something pressed against your lips. Instinctively, you opened your mouth only to feel the hard barbs of the Sphynx. You hoped the spells you already placed would hold. There was arguing behind you, and before you knew it, both of the other women were fucking your ass, setting a brutual pace that forced you to slam forward on the barbed cock in front of you. Your eyes rolled back into your head as you felt yourself being stretched impossibly wide, feeling so full you were certain they were going to rip you. Your sister in law even said something, but none of the women using you stopped. The Sphinx at least pulled out for a moment to pour a potion down your throat, but that was quickly chased by her cock.

You gagged and groaned as the three women used you like a toy, stretching you to the point that you lost count of how many times they made you cum. When the Sphinx came down your throat, you winched at the feeling of her barbs scratching your mouth and throat, locking you in place. She purred, kneading the grass beside you as she rocked into your mouth gently now, basically rutting you. The Elf came in your ass first, pulling out to let the Griffin fuck you so roughly and deep that you felt like your brain was melting. Finally the three women seemed to have gotten their fill.

When their cocks dissipated, you cleaned their cunts with your tongue. In turn, they all helped clean and soothe you, rubbing ointments, settling you into the spring, and bringing you snacks. Your sister in law had made a mess of herself as well, cumming to watching the way the strange women used you, so they even cleaned her as well. By the time your wife made her way to visit you, you were round with the child of one of the Witches.

“You look so content, little husband,” Pasi greeted you, nosing and kissing the side of your head.

“I would be if I hadn’t been missing you so terribly,” you told her, turning your head to kiss her lips.

The daughters the two of you shared accompanied her, giving you the chance to teach them a little bit about farming. You wandered the small farm, singing songs that you had learned from your wife and the Witches, and a couple you remembered from your childhood. One of your older daughters asked about the tattoo on your lower back, and you explained it was a marking from the ritual that would help you have another sister for her. All the girls squealed at the idea of another little sibling to play with and dote on. You smiled fondly. This is what life is about.

[whinlatter]

sirius and ginny: a meta (part 1)

“Excuse me, but I care what happens to Sirius as much as you do!” said Ginny, her jaw set so that her resemblance to Fred and George was suddenly striking.’

are you a very brave, very reckless, very hot self-destructive rebel with a treacherous sibling and a flair for christmas decoration, harbouring complex feelings about your mother, close ties to crookshanks the cat and spend your days plagued by the memory of your worst mistakes and dark past? do you find yourself constantly being begged to stay in a state of protective confinement to save your life by a young man with a lightning scar, bad hair and crippling abandonment issues? if so, congratulations! you might be one of harry potter's chosen family members, sirius black and ginevra molly weasley! 

basically - i want to talk about sirius and ginny. these are two characters who don’t share a lot of scenes in canon but who, i think, have some clear (if overlooked) parallels: stubborn, fiercely protective of harry, self-sacrificing, admired, principled, haunted (in different ways) by traumatic pasts and betrayals, with complicated relationships with their families and entirely uncomplicated devoted relationships with someone else’s cat. their narrative arcs are successive, with ginny ascending in significance in the series during sirius’ period of decline and ultimate death. and ultimately, they’re also the two people who become, over the course of the canon series, family to a protagonist desperately seeking to build one. sirius and ginny are the two people harry in canon most worries about, wants to protect, and thinks of as someone who embodies the promise of family and home.

sirius and ginny aren’t mirror images of each other. ofc, ginny also has parallels with the only other family members harry claims in the series, lily and james (i mean, especially james - she’s literally a cocky funny flirtatious chaser with a years-long debilitating mega crush who can also catch a snitch like a champ. come on now). it’s also clear in canon that sirius means more to ginny as a hero/role model/ally against her mother than ginny ever means to sirius. nevertheless, the text puts in work to let the reader know we should think about these characters together as somehow aligned. from the beginning of ootp, there are clues and signals in the text that foreshadow ginny’s emergence as someone important to harry, and that subtly let the reader know that the baton of being harry’s ‘person’ is about to be passed from sirius to ginny, two kindred spirits, after sirius’ death. so that's what this meta is about! (consider this my 700th attempt to show that, as the popular fandom complaint/all of reddit still insist, ginny as a character, and especially the harry/ginny romance, did not ‘come out of nowhere’.)

the following meta is part one of two (and yet it's still too long! sorry about it). o in this part, i look at the period from the end of goblet of fire thru the start of half blood prince, exploring how the text sets up the sirius and ginny parallels as a way of foreshadowing ginny’s emergence as harry’s main love interest and place as a family substitute. the second part (tbc) will be what the memory of sirius does for harry’s view of his relationship with ginny, and the kind of positive - and negative - ways this shapes harry’s ideas about love and what family do for each other. i wrote this meta as a way of thinking through some characterisation choices for my current WIP, beasts. if you're following along with that fic, this meta can be seen as a companion piece especially to my thinking behind chapters ten and eleven, so hope proves helpful for some of my thinking behind the sirius and ginny friendship that appears in that project. it's also dedicated to @ashesandhackles, queen of metas, who has reminded me to post this meta precisely 9 million times because she is a long-suffering saint.

ok - sirius and ginny. let’s goooooo!

sirius and ginny before ootp

before OotP, ginny is absent from any plot connected to sirius. ginny doesn’t know the truth about sirius’ innocence, nor does she know that harry, her brother and her friend are in regular contact with sirius and that harry now as a surrogate father/big brother figure to confide in and seek comfort in.  in fact, in one of ginny’s few appearances in GoF, the narration is unusually insistent that the reader knows how little ginny knows about sirius:

“And have you heard from — ?” Ron began, but at a look from Hermione he fell silent. Harry knew Ron had been about to ask about Sirius. Ron and Hermione had been so deeply involved in helping Sirius escape from the Ministry of Magic that they were almost as concerned about Harry’s godfather as he was. However, discussing him in front of Ginny was a bad idea. Nobody but themselves and Professor Dumbledore knew about how Sirius had escaped, or believed in his innocence. “I think they’ve stopped arguing,” said Hermione, to cover the awkward moment, because Ginny was looking curiously from Ron to Harry. “Shall we go down and help your mum with dinner?” 

the only other tiny crumb of sirius and ginny we get is the news that the owl sirius bought in PoA and gifted to ron as a replacement pet for scabbers has been embraced and named by ginny. sirius gifting a tiny little spitfire of an owl that annoys ron? it's giving foreshadowing, your honour.

the reader, though, knows who sirius is to harry by GoF. throughout this book, for the first time in the series, harry has a person he can claim as something like a family: someone to worry about, someone who cares about him,who can advise, guide and mentor him, as well as offer him support and consolation in difficult times (‘someone like a parent…’) although sirius has not been able to offer harry a stable alternative home to the dursleys due to his status as a wanted man, he’s still filling a role that previously had been vacant in the series: he’s harry’s person, the surrogate parent chosen for him by james and lily. he’s close by, either by the floo or eventually living (at great personal cost) as padfoot in hogsmeade, and he’s present emotionally for harry in ways that prove incredibly meaningful to his young godson. in times of great of distress, sirius is there for harry to meet emotional needs that ron and hermione (understandably, no shade to them) can’t always meet. the floo scene early on in GoF, during harry’s row with ron, is a particularly good example of this:

“Never mind me, how are you?” said Sirius seriously. “I’m —”  For a second, Harry tried to say “fine” — but he couldn’t do it. …Before he could stop himself, he was talking more than he’d talked in days — about how no one believed he hadn’t entered the tournament of his own free will, how Rita Skeeter had lied about him in the Daily Prophet, how he couldn’t walk down a corridor without being sneered at — and about Ron, Ron not believing him, Ron’s jealousy . . . Sirius looked at him, eyes full of concern… He had let Harry talk himself into silence without interruption’.

harry derives enormous comfort from sirius’ presence in his life during GoF. he writes to sirius, he repeatedly turns to him for advice, he worries for him more than he does any other person. sirius fulfils harry’s desire to be kept abreast of important information about voldemort and death eaters, doesn’t sugarcoat news for harry, and makes him feel important, cared for and understood. (harry even shows off to sirius telling him about how much of a slay the first task was. ugh). by the time of the third task, sirius is sending harry daily owls, a constant flow of reassurance and concern (‘He reminded Harry in every letter that whatever might be going on outside the walls of Hogwarts was not Harry’s responsibility, nor was it within his power to influence it. If Voldemort is really getting stronger again, he wrote, my priority is to ensure your safety.’) when harry returns from the graveyard at the novel’s end, it’s sirius who races to his side to advocate for him and offer him both words of comfort and physical affection as he processes the traumatic series of events that constitute the climax of the book’s plot. (my personal favourite part is where harry says ‘wormtail cut me with a knife’ and the text says sirius made a ‘vehement exclamation’, which i can only assume is children’s book speak for ‘fucking hell’.) harry goes to bed: sirius stays with him, a literal guard dog as he recuperates. after the most traumatic events of the series to date, the reader is at least consoled that harry potter has a person now, someone he loves for him to worry about and to worry for him, who catches him on the other side of traumatic events and makes them that bit much more bearable.

sirius and ginny during ootp

with sirius' role in harry's life established in GoF, OotP begins with harry, cooped up and restless at privet drive, angry with ron, hermione, sirius, and dumbledore for abandoning him at privet drive and keeping him in the dark. harry arrives at grimmauld place to find an anxious ron and hermione, with whom harry is angry and frustrated for having left him out of their summer hangs and having neglected him, by his assessment, in surrey. it’s the most conflict we’ve seen in the trio in terms of harry vs ron and hermione, and sets up one of the important themes of the book, which is harry no longer being solely emotionally fulfilled by the people he is closest to, including his two surrogate parents best mates but also his godfather. when he encounters sirius for the first time after the order meeting, he finds him surly, bitter, and depressed, furious that he is confined to his childhood home, and (understandably) much less able or willing to offer harry much in the way of comfort, apology or cheering words (‘Harry, who had expected a better welcome, noted how hard and bitter Sirius’s voice sounded.’) in this sense, the book opens with harry disappointed and/or more distant from all the people on whom he most depends and is usually closest to, and that there therefore is already an absence of a certain kind of emotional support in harry’s life that the plot demands be filled.

fresh off the back of harry’s row with ron and hermione is ginny’s reintroduction to the reader. after years of being so shy in harry’s presence she was often nearly mute, the reader finds that ginny is not only now speaking, but that her presence turns out to be remarkably refreshing. from her opening scene where ginny enters harry’s bedroom at grimmauld place, the reader discovers the new ginny is confident, up to no good, in cahoots with her most troublemaking brothers trying to intercept the order meeting, enterprising in her mischief (and very happy to lie to her mother’s face about it). she’s thoroughly unfazed by harry’s great display of rage that has just startled and upset ron and hermione. (side note: in both ootp and hbp, ginny’s opening scene is her entering harry’s bedroom, which is the kind of foreshadowing i personally find delicious). everyone else is behaving pretty much as they have been up to this point, but it’s ginny who is showcasing behaviours new to the reader, a signal that she might be about to play a different role in the series than she has done up to this point.

cut to the dinner scene. sirius and ginny are in the room together for the first time. sirius is moody: though he’s still able to laugh, enjoying displays of mischief and humour (the twins and the knife), he’s more bitter than harry and the reader have seen him since PoA. it’s an important scene for lots of reasons (not least the sirius v molly beef), but it’s also one where sirius and ginny are repeatedly drawn into mental association in the reader’s mind. it’s also a great scene because the behaviour of crookshanks the cat literally serves to foreshadow the behaviour of harry james potter in ways that are frankly extremely fun.

so! the sirius and ginny hints start small. from the start of the scene, ginny is amused by mundungus the crook (a man, we will learn, so disdained by her mother):

“Some’n say m’ name?” Mundungus mumbled sleepily. “I ’gree with Sirius. . . .” He raised a very grubby hand in the air as though voting, his droopy, bloodshot eyes unfocused. Ginny giggled. “The meeting’s over, Dung,” said Sirius, as they all sat down around him at the table. “Harry’s arrived.” 

sirius and harry, sat at the end of the table, are both greeted by crookshanks, sirius’ old accomplice from PoA:

'​​Harry felt something brush against his knees and started, but it was only Crookshanks, Hermione’s bandy-legged ginger cat, who wound himself once around Harry’s legs, purring, then jumped onto Sirius’s lap and curled up. Sirius scratched him absentmindedly behind the ears as he turned, still grim-faced, to Harry…

when fred and george’s levitation goes awry, flinging a knife at sirius (now that’s how you foreshadow a death), crookshanks bolts: 

‘Harry and Sirius were both laughing… Crookshanks had given an angry hiss and shot off under the dresser, from whence his large yellow eyes glowed in the darkness…’

during the meal, ginny’s with hermione, having a laugh with tonks, a character harry has just met but whom he has already decided to both admire and like. after the meal, when harry’s cheered up a bit and had his crumble (the man loves dessert), crookshanks finally emerges from his hiding place, having been coaxed out from his sulk by - you guessed it - one g. m. weasley:

‘…Ginny, who had lured Crookshanks out from under the dresser, was sitting cross-legged on the floor, rolling butterbeer corks for him to chase.’

a grouchy character, initially drawn to sirius, but prone to lashing out and locking himself away, only to be lured back out into comfort and safety by ginny weasley? wow………. radical

after dinner, the argument between sirius and molly kicks off. sirius is arguing hard for harry’s right to know, though he makes no attempt to advocate for any of the other weasleys or for hermione. ginny’s noticeably singled out in her reaction to this scene, the text highlighting that she is particularly struck by this conflict as if it is of particular personal resonance, including someone standing up to her famously overprotective mother for once:

‘Ron, Hermione, Fred, and George’s heads turned from Sirius to Mrs. Weasley as though following a tennis rally. Ginny was kneeling amid a pile of abandoned butterbeer corks, watching the conversation with her mouth slightly open. Lupin’s eyes were fixed on Sirius.’

of course, molly loses the argument: harry gets to stay for juicy order deets (‘Sirius was right, he was not a child.’) after the row, ginny is the only person forbidden from hearing information about the order’s activities. suddenly, the roles are switched: it’s ginny who’s now furious and bitter to be kept out of the action:

‘“Fine!” shouted Mrs. Weasley. “Fine! Ginny — BED!”  Ginny did not go quietly. They could hear her raging and storming at her mother all the way up the stairs, and when she reached the hall Mrs. Black’s earsplitting shrieks were added to the din. Lupin hurried off to the portrait to restore calm. It was only after he had returned, closing the kitchen door behind him and taking his seat at the table again, that Sirius spoke. “Okay, Harry . . . what do you want to know?”’ 

it’s not just the parallels of confinement between harry, sirius and ginny that are so revealing, it’s also the dual maternal conflicts. ginny loud raging at her own mother sets off the howling relic of sirius’, serving to underline two characters who continue to grapple with maternal relationships that are complex and full of conflict, though by no means solely negative (sirius i see you sleeping in your mother’s bedroom babe. don’t think i think your relationship with walburga is just one of straight hate ok). when ginny later gets knocked down the stairs by fred and george, there’s more direct mrs weasley/walburga parallels, with the two of them literally shouting over each other during the ordeal lol. as such, the readers see that the conflicts being set up for sirius’ character in this book - frustration at confinement, conflict with a mother figure, drawn to more reckless and arguably irresponsible characters (mundungus, the twins) and courses of action - are also conflicts subtly playing out with the new ginny we’re meeting, too.

as the rest of the summer at grimmauld wears on, there are more examples of sirius and ginny foreshadowing. the scenes where the two characters interact serve to place ginny and sirius firmly in the same camp of people harry admires and has fun with, the troublemakers and the rebels. over the prefects issue, ginny not only is sat chatting with the troublemaking adults harry likes most, but actively draws sirius into conversation on the issue, likely knowing the answer will comfort harry, but also showing a curiosity and interest in sirius that suggests she admires him:

“I was never a prefect myself,” said Tonks brightly from behind Harry as everybody moved toward the table to help themselves to food. Her hair was tomato-red and waist length today; she looked like Ginny’s older sister. “My Head of House said I lacked certain necessary qualities.”  “Like what?” said Ginny, who was choosing a baked potato. “Like the ability to behave myself,” said Tonks. Ginny laughed; Hermione looked as though she did not know whether to smile or not and compromised by taking an extra large gulp of butterbeer and choking on it.  “What about you, Sirius?” Ginny asked, thumping Hermione on the back. Sirius, who was right beside Harry, let out his usual barklike laugh…’

ginny’s choice to try and draw sirius into the conversation bears fruit: sirius confirms james was never a prefect, and harry’s sour mood is suddenly lifted. (‘All at once the party seemed much more enjoyable; he loaded up his plate, feeling unusually fond of everyone in the room.’) ginny is thus beginning to provide harry with subtle comfort and reassurance, especially as sirius, struggling with his own confinement,  is taking a less active role in trying to cheer harry up. what i also like is that we have evidence of how ginny views sirius - she’s curious about him and his past, she clearly thinks he and the other new rebellious adults are cool as shit, and she’s drawn increasingly away from her mother’s cautious overprotective approach towards these resistance fighters who prioritise the fight over safety. (it is noticeable to me that ginny does not become a prefect in HBP, suggesting sirius' example proved instructive).

we see more small parallels between sirius and ginny during the cleaning scenes. the battle against grimmauld place is an important symbol of one of the important themes of OotP as a book: a battle over past traumas and their persistent and unwieldy symptoms that are seemingly never-ending. while it’s harry’s experiences that, of course, take centre stage, sirius’, too, loom omnipresent throughout the text. it’s significant, then, that ginny’s own past gets brought up for the first time in three books here, albeit briefly: 

'They found an unpleasant-looking silver instrument, something like a many-legged pair of tweezers, which scuttled up Harry’s arm like a spider when he picked it up, and attempted to puncture his skin; Sirius seized it and smashed it with a heavy book entitled Nature’s Nobility: A Wizarding Genealogy. There was a musical box that emitted a faintly sinister, tinkling tune when wound, and they all found themselves becoming curiously weak and sleepy until Ginny had the sense to slam the lid shut…'

in this moment, we see sirius and ginny singled in the larger group as quick-thinking, shrewd characters, with a good instincts and common sense (if a bit of a tendency to get scrappy). their respective dark pasts are subtly alluded to. sirius whacks a spider trying to attack harry with a book that might as well be entitled my big book of family trauma. ginny, meanwhile, steps in when everybody present starts to be enchanted by a mysterious object luring them into danger by whacking it shut (gee i wonder why!) given this is the book that will see ginny mention the events of CoS for the first time in errrrr three years, it’s significant that the text is careful to draw ginny into this broader theme that unites sirius and harry, the constant reminders of traumatic pasts at every turn. we also see here the revelation that regulus black was a death eater. coming after news of percy weasley’s betrayal, sirius’ bitter dismissal of his younger brother deliberately mirrors ginny and the other weasleys’ attitude towards percy, this sense of pureblood families split over wizarding politics, often fatally. 

while harry fears his expulsion from hogwarts prior his hearing, he continues to fantasise about coming to live with sirius at grimmauld, and about being with a family member and finding an alternative home to hogwarts. sirius, as hermione astutely observes, tries to manage harry’s expectations and not to get his own hopes up: still, when harry is exonerated, sirius is visibly depressed, showing the beginnings of an emotional dependency on harry that harry feels great guilt over.when leaving grimmauld for the start of the school year, sirius, as padfoot, accompanies harry to king’s cross: unlike in GoF, though, he is spotted, and harry begins to worry much more actively about sirius’ vulnerability to capture, about his recklessness and about his judgement. concerned for sirius, and absent ron and hermione, who are in the prefects carriage, the person who stays with harry and offers him company is ginny. she sacrifices her own train journey (presumably with her own boyfriend) to find a carriage with harry and make sure he’s not lonely, bringing him to neville and luna and sorting him out after his embarassing cho run-in. it’s not a coincidence that once again we see ginny here taking care of harry crookshanks:

'“Where’s Crookshanks?” “Ginny’s got him,” said Harry. “There she is. . . .”  Ginny had just emerged from the crowd, clutching a squirming Crookshanks. “Thanks,” said Hermione, relieving Ginny of the cat. “Come on, let’s get a carriage together before they all fill up. . . '

once harry’s back at school, having left sirius behind to languish miserably in london, we see he's more isolated and alone than ever. he’s tormented by umbridge, endlessly (though often unfairly) frustrated with ron and hermione, ghosted by dumbledore, yet absent the more stable, reassuring sirius he came to know in GoF, unable to write candidly to him and faced with a much less well sirius in the opportunities they do have to speak face-to-face. as sirius’ mental health declines as he is shut up at grimmauld, his ability to support harry and comfort him starts to falter, and he becomes a much more uneven source of advice and support, particularly during his car crash floo appearance, where he’s much ruder than he has previously been (cutting off, ignoring their pleas for him to be more cautious, the infamous ‘the risk would have made it fun for james’ moment). this new sirius, clearly struggling, is much more happy to do up guilt trip to his godson than we have seen him to up this point (‘I’ll write to tell you a time I can make it back into the fire, then, shall I? If you can stand to risk it?’ - you petty little shit, padfoot). all of this serves to increase harry’s anxiety about sirius’ wellbeing and reinforce harry’s sense of emotional isolation. even sirius’ encouragement on the DA is, as hermione points out, partly bound up in more selfish motivations (‘I think he’s really frustrated at how little he can do where he is… so I think he’s keen to kind of… egg us on.’)

ginny’s largely absent in this section of the novel. in the brief moments she does appear, it’s to inject humour (eg. her impressions at the DA meeting) and in little reminders that she now has a boyfriend, no longer harbours romantic feelings for harry, making sure the reader continues to hold her mentally apart from harry. harry, meanwhile, misguidedly tries to seek out a relationship with cho chang, who is showing clear signs of her own emotional distress and inability to meet harry’s emotional needs given her own grief. still, among this, there’s still room for some small subtle sirius/ginny parallels. once the DA plot picks up, we have another little sign that ginny weasley and sirius black think somewhat alike:

“Yeah, the D.A.’s good,” said Ginny. “Only let’s make it stand for Dumbledore’s Army because that’s the Ministry’s worst fear, isn’t it?” 

“Trained in combat?” repeated Harry incredulously. “What does he think we’re doing here, forming some sort of wizard army? “That’s exactly what he thinks you’re doing,” said Sirius, “or rather, that’s exactly what he’s afraid Dumbledore’s doing — forming his own private army, with which he will be able to take on the Ministry of Magic.” 

with harry's isolation and need for more emotional support established in this first term, christmas at grimmauld offers more opportunity to subtly develop the sirius and ginny parallels, as well as to highlight ginny’s ability to fill the gaps left by sirius’ decline. after the attack on arthur weasley, the group arrive back at grimmauld:

‘Sirius was hurrying toward them all, looking anxious. He was unshaven and still in his day clothes; there was also a slightly Mundungus-like whiff of stale drink about him. “What’s going on?” he said, stretching out a hand to help Ginny up. “Phineas Nigellus said Arthur’s been badly injured —” 

could this be sirius literally lifting ginny up into plot significance? why yes it could

ofc the weasleys then argue with sirius about their right to go see their father. despite his own frustrations at being trapped at grimmauld, sirius proves the voice of reason and rational decision making against both ginny and the twins’ hotheadedness (ginny asks to borrow cloaks to go to the hospital: sirius: ‘Hang on, you can’t go tearing off to St. Mungo’s!’) crucially, though, when sirius points out that there are bigger things at stake - the work of the order and the resistance movement - it’s ginny who listens:

“Your father knew what he was getting into, and he won’t thank you for messing things up for the Order!” said Sirius angrily in his turn. “This is how it is — this is why you’re not in the Order — you don’t understand — there are things worth dying for!”  “Easy for you to say, stuck here!” bellowed Fred. “I don’t see you risking your neck!”  The little colour remaining in Sirius’s face drained from it. He looked for a moment as though he would quite like to hit Fred, but when he spoke, it was in a voice of determined calm. “I know it’s hard, but we’ve all got to act as though we don’t know anything yet. We’ve got to stay put, at least until we hear from your mother, all right?”  Fred and George still looked mutinous. Ginny, however, took a few steps over to the nearest chair and sank into it. Harry looked at Ron, who made a funny movement somewhere between a nod and shrug, and they sat down too. The twins glared at Sirius for another minute, then took seats on either side of Ginny.  “That’s right,” said Sirius encouragingly, “come on, let’s all . . . let’s all have a drink while we’re waiting…’

there’s a lot going on here: ginny’s willingness to follow sirius’ orders, but also her willingness to accept an argument based on some idea of the greater good before any of her brothers. she and sirius are aligned here, and it’s her decision to accept sirius’ reasoning that proves the catalyst for her brothers to follow. we see here how ginny has come to see sirius: someone she looks up to and admires, an adult whose judgement she trusts and whose worldview she subscribes to. (as a character prone to hero worship - see her view of her big brother bill - i think this is noteworthy, and is behind a lot of my characterisation choices for ginny towards sirius in beasts). but we also see that ginny agrees with sirius' worldview. there are some things worth dying for, and self-sacrifice is part of that.

when harry goes to sirius for reassurance about witnessing arthur’s attack, he finds sirius unable to properly console him and convince him that he was not to blame for arthur’s attack. the reader gets the impression of sirius withholding information from harry (‘He could only see a sliver of Sirius’s face; the rest was in darkness’), and the scene ends with sirius clapping harry on the shoulder and leaving him ‘standing alone in the dark’. while sirius throws himself into christmas preparations, obviously delighted to have company, harry shrinks from the cheer and isolates himself. in the end, ofc, the only person that manages to pull harry out of his dark, brooding thoughts is ginny. the text is careful to note she’s sitting beside him on the tube back from st mungo’s, when he looks very unwell. then, in the ‘lucky you’ scene, she showcases some of the same skills harry first came to appreciate in sirius in GoF. she tells it to him straight: she’s sympathetic, but not overly gushing, and she reminds him of her own intensely frightening experience which she endured alone, something harry can relate to, even if the experience of possession is not.  it’s an important scene for lots of reasons, but it’s also, crucially, the intervention that causes harry’s mood to lift, and he gets to enjoy a christmas with his godfather, the thing he had most wanted in the run-up to christmas, and which becomes the only holiday period harry and sirius ever spend together: 

‘I’m not the weapon after all, thought Harry. His heart swelled with happiness and relief, and he felt like joining in as they heard Sirius tramping past their door toward Buckbeak’s room, singing “God Rest Ye Merry, Hippogriffs” at the top of his voice.’

of course, once christmas is over, sirius slips back into a depressed, gloomy state. harry wants a better goodbye than he gives him, merely giving him a quick one armed hug (there’s a real theme throughout harry and sirius’ relationship of very sparing physical contact on sirius’ part, which is obviously a hole in harry's life ginny will fill in - er - a big way). back at school, harry returns to umbridge’s increasingly draconian rule, maks a disastrous attempt at forging a relationship with cho, and continues to feel lonely, paranoid, and angry. unable to speak to sirius properly via letter or floo - and unwilling to open the present sirius has given him to communicate directly with him, the two-way mirror - harry is increasingly sullen, a mood that only worsens after seeing snape's worst memory.

the easter egg scene is obviously important for hinny for lots of different reasons. but here i just want to highlight how the scene serves to show ginny as both the conduit to sirius for harry, and someone whose behaviour echoes that of sirius in GoF when harry first began to open up to and seek comfort in him. harry is distressed by his now complicated feelings both towards the father he previously revered and towards sirius, who seemed to encourage james’ bullying behaviour. ginny hands harry a chocolate easter egg covered in snitches: chocolate, a canonical source of comfort against dark thoughts, and an egg that reminds him of the love of parent. the act makes him suddenly emotional, though he at first denies he’s upset. ginny presses carefully and sensitively, asking the right questions to get him to confess the source of his worry, waiting for harry to take his time to speak - all behaviours that echo sirius’ own effective listening techniques. ginny’s acquaintance with sirius, and knowledge of how significant he is to harry, is important here, too, and a subtle sign to the reader that he trusts ginny with knowledge about sirius after a long time of having her in the dark about his godfather.  the reader leaves the scene having seen ginny breakthrough to harry emotionally in a way for the second time in the novel, in a way no other character has done (‘he felt a bit more hopeful…’) 

of course, the course of action ginny has set in motion is itself risky and reckless (‘anything is possible if you’ve got enough nerve’ is very marauders as a philosophy). the decision to go ahead with the plan the twins come up with is one harry sees as a decision on whether to be more like james and sirius - a risk taker - or to abandon the hero worship for the marauders he has lived with for so long. in the end, of course, it’s a win for the reckless troublemakers: he chooses to go ahead with the plan the twins have crafted and that ginny has set in motion, and to speak to sirius.

and yet. sirius is still alive - there is not need for ginny yet. for the remainder of the book, ginny has to beg to be included in the trio's plans and to be allowed to be a part of the plot to rescue sirius. she’s is often in conflict with harry, showing a lot of sirius’ bitterness at attempts at containment and to keep her out of the fighting. she grates against harry’s insistence that she is too young and inexperienced, and having to remind the trio that she, too, has come to care about sirius and wants to see him safe: 

“I’ve got a broom!” said Ginny.  “Yeah, but you’re not coming,” said Ron angrily.  “Excuse me, but I care what happens to Sirius as much as you do!” said Ginny, her jaw set so that her resemblance to Fred and George was suddenly striking. 

of course, it all ends in tragedy: sirius, desperate to go to harry’s aid and absolutely gunning for a fight after months of confinement, is killed, leaving harry alone. there a subtle clues that something has shifted in ginny’s relationship to harry and the trio in the scenes after sirius’ death, including ginny positioned as the mirror image to harry in the hospital: 

‘Harry was sitting on the end of Ron’s bed and they were both listening to Hermione read the front page of the Sunday Prophet. Ginny, whose ankle had     been mended in a trice by Madam Pomfrey, was curled up at the foot of Hermione’s bed…’

despite this, in the immediate aftermath of sirius’ death, harry is extremely alone. he is unable to work out what he needs (‘Whenever he was in company he wanted to get away, and whenever he was alone he wanted company.’) he tries to go to hagrid’s, but regrets it (‘He was starting to wish he was alone again’), leaving after hagrid reminds him of sirius’ core traits, an inability to stay out of the fight when he believes in the cause:

“But still, Harry . . . he was never one ter sit around at home an’ let other people do the fightin’. He couldn’ have lived with himself if he hadn’ gone ter help —” 

unlike at the end of GoF, harry is isolated by his grief and the revelation of the prophecy's contents by the end of this book. he goes alone to a secluded corner of the lakeshore, ‘sheltered from the gaze of passersby behind a tangle of shrubs’, and ‘[stares] out over the gleaming water’, and cries alone. there is no sirius or other person to catch him and console him in his grief. his person has died, and there’s a gap in his life again, just waiting to be filled: 

‘Wanting to impress Cho seemed to belong to a past that was no longer quite connected with him. So much of what he had wanted before Sirius’s death felt that way these days. . . . The week that had elapsed since he had last seen Sirius seemed to have lasted much, much longer: It stretched across two universes, the one with Sirius in it, and the one without.’

ginny and sirius parallels in HBP and DH

after sirius’ death, the parallels between sirius and ginny become more important as ginny moves into the centre frame as a character. at the start of HBP, harry arrives at the burrow and discusses his grief over sirius’ death with dumbledore in the burrow broom shed, acknowledging how profoundly the loss of a family member who cares singularly about him is affecting him. ('He felt stupid for admitting it, but the fact that he had had someone outside Hogwarts who cared what happened to him, almost like a parent, had been one of the best things about discovering his godfather . . . and now the post owls would never bring him that comfort again. . . .' beasts readers: there's a reason harry clings to letters!) of course, having reminded the reader of the gap in harry’s life that now needs to be filled, harry goes to sleep, the active reflection on his grief for sirius put to one side so the novel's plot can get underway. he'll go to bed mourning sirius and wake up in a sunlit bedroom. of course, ginny will walk into this bedroom too, only now things will be different: harry potter is back to the search for a loved one, for a family, and he's about to realise ginny is the one he wants to fill it. thus the start of the plot of ginny stepping into the role vacated by sirius beginneth.

so much of who ginny is in HBP is reminiscent of sirius. she frequently leaps into battle as harry’s protector (‘You’re taking orders from something someone wrote in a book?’, ‘Give it a rest, Hermione’), she’s scrappy (RIP zacharias smith), she’s funny and laughs easily in a way that less recalls sirius in the time harry knew him than sirius as harry sees him as a young man, in photographs or memories. she's the one who commits to the insane christmas decorations, determined to cheer everyone up over the festive period as sirius did the year before. she even enjoys the widespread admiration and lust of her peers, a trait that directly recalls sirius being eyed up by his peers in snape's memory. by the novel’s end, after dumbledore’s death, it will be ginny who goes to harry’s side after the climax of the plot and catch him in his grief just as sirius did in GoF, this time over dumbledore’s death: 

‘He did not want to leave Dumbledore’s side, he did not want to move anywhere. Hagrid’s hand on his shoulder was trembling. Then another voice said, “Harry, come on.’ A much smaller and warmer hand had enclosed his and was pulling him upward. He obeyed its pressure without really thinking about it.’

their breakup has sirius all over it. taking place at the lakeshore, the place where harry wept alone over sirius a year prior, harry draws on the circumstances of sirius’ demise as a reason he must break up with ginny (‘Voldemort uses people his enemies are close to.’) the breakup does little to shift what ginny has become in harry’s mind, though, and he spends all of DH thinking of her as he once thought of sirius: the person whose safety he most craves, the person he misses, someone he claims as his, and whom he associates with (now banished) hopes of a home and a family:

“It’s not a problem,” said Harry, sickened by the pain in his head. “It’s your family, ’course you’re worried. I’d feel the same way.” He thought of Ginny. “I do feel the same way.”

of course, echoes of sirius will also come into play during open war. it’s now ginny, not sirius, who is the one left behind for her own protection: in the run-up to the battle, harry finds himself once again faced with the prospect of confining his loved one for their safety, despite their desperation to fight and do the right thing. but these are thoughts for part 2…….

[sbdskate]

Laws Of Attraction (Part 6) - DR x lawyer!fem!reader

Summary: McLaren is in breach of contract, dr3 hires a lawyer to deal with the aftermath. Tropes ensue. Slow burn. Enemies(kind of) -> Friends/colleagues -> Lovers

Pairing: lawyer!fem!reader x Daniel Ricciardo

Warnings: language, slight angst, alcohol consumption, mature themes

Word Count: 3,635

A/N: That’s right, I broke the ending into another part which means another chapter is on the way. If you’ve been keeping up, I appreciate you sticking with me through my draughts and generally inconsistent posting schedule. Thank you again for every like, comment, and reblog. Please let me know what you think and enjoy ❤️

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Epilogue 1

The week passed more quickly than you anticipated. You pulled an all-nighter to draft the language you promised. It helped that you couldn’t sleep anyways. You tried to make up for it on the twenty-hour flight from Brazil to Abu Dhabi but again, rest evaded you. It didn’t help that between the travel and the time difference you basically lost a day and a half. You threw yourself deeper into your work as a distraction. You were thankful that there were lots of back and forths of redlines, as expected.

But no matter how busy you kept yourself, you couldn’t stop thinking about that damn kiss that had now been tattooed in your mind. You wished it wasn’t good. You wished he had chapped lips and tasted like onions. But it had enveloped you. The way he grabbed you and the feeling of his stubble on your face set off butterflies in your stomach and other places down south. You were pretty sure you saw through space and time and you suddenly had the ability to hear colors.

And even though the kiss was so good, it was made bittersweet by everything that was discussed afterwards. You didn’t miss the warmth leaving his eyes and his obvious disappointment. On one hand, you handled the situation the best way you knew how. You had been very clear in Mexico on the limits of your relationship, that should not have been a surprise to him. Your job was to be professional and you reestablished those boundaries. On the other, you had somehow removed every laugh line from his face. You missed the crinkles around his eyes and the reverberating bravado of his laugh. If there was another way you could have gone about the conversation, it was lost on you. Leaning into the kiss and those feelings surrounding it was legally impossible. He would simply have to pick up his bruised ego and move on, which you were sure wouldn’t be difficult. The thought helped you somewhat – he was still a handsome, charismatic celebrity who could get any girl he wanted. You were one piece of parsley in an endless buffet. Poor little rich boy couldn’t have the one dish he wanted right now, but as soon as the season was over and you went your separate ways, you would be a distant memory he would laugh at in retrospect. Amongst the models, actresses, singers, and influencers he could pick from, he had trauma bonded with his very average and nerdy lawyer during a particularly vulnerable point in his life.

As your thoughts meandered during the course of the long flight, you were appreciative that you would not be on your own this weekend. The partner apparently decided to show up in Abu Dhabi, finally making Daniel a priority knowing that the matter would be closing. You had gotten somewhat frustrated with Joe, that he kept cancelling on meetings last minute leaving you to deal with everything. There were several silver linings, however. First, you hoped it meant he trusted you with the significant responsibility, which again would likely lead to a positive performance review and a hefty bonus. It may even come in handy a few years from now when you would become eligible to make partner yourself. Second, in picking up that responsibility, you had grown a lot professionally in the last few months. Belgium felt like a lifetime ago, in more ways than one. In the last few restless days your mind kept reflecting back to that first race weekend when you were full of nerves, but lately you didn’t quite feel like the same young associate with a chip on her shoulder and something to prove. Third, for better or worse, you grew to know you client in a way you would not have been able to but for the partner’s absence and that transfer of duty. Because you knew him so well now, you were better able to represent him. This was, of course, a double-edged sword. You’d unintentionally gotten to know the driver far better than you intended. Over the course of months, he poked little holes in your armor leaving you open and vulnerable and inching you closer towards that delicate line you dared not cross. The two of you had danced around it for weeks. If you hadn’t crossed it before, kissing certainly pushed the two of you over the edge together. You wondered what he thought about all this, considering he had far less to lose from the predicament. It would probably be awkward the next time you saw each other, but hopefully still respectful and professional if nothing else.

-

Meanwhile, Daniel along with the rest of the grid arrived in Abu Dhabi a day early to have a retirement dinner party for Seb. Seb had been unexpected source of support during this uncertain time in his career. Not all of the drivers had reached out to him when news about his early termination with McLaren broke. Of those that did reach out, some were simply surface level exchanges lacking compassion and depth. Seb, however, had helped him navigate a slew of existential crisis. The least Daniel could do was return that support to his friend. He sat next to Lando and Pierre, the drivers chatting amongst themselves during the meal. Of course there was a general curiosity about his plans for next year, but he playfully remained tight-lipped. The conversation was light, reminiscing and debriefing on some of the post-race debauchery over the course of the season. It was all fun and games until Pierre brought up Halloween in Mexico and his failed attempts at bringing home an instragram influencer and a model that night.

“I think I might be losing my touch. But that was a fun night though, yeah?”

“It was, I’m surprised you remember most of it,” Daniel teased.

“Honestly, me too. That girl dressed as you, she was a good time.” Daniel did his best to remain casual, though his heart skipped at beat at your mention.

“Yeah, y/n is fun when she’s not working.”

“I’ve seen her around the paddock a few times. She’s your lawyer, right?” He took a long drink, not liking the direction the conversation was headed.

“Yeah.”

“Maybe when the season is over I can grab her number.” It was more of a statement than a question. Daniel feigned ignorance at the request and laughed.

“I mean I can give it to you, but she probably wouldn’t be able to help you.”

“How so?” Pierre looked at Daniel, both men visibly confused.

“I mean I’m no lawyer myself, but wouldn’t it be a conflict of interest for her?”

“Oh no dude, I don’t want her services – or, uh legal services I should say,” he said cheekily. Daniel’s ears immediately turned red, his jaw clenched, and hand balled into a fist. He did his best to control his facial muscles to not let on to the fact that Pierre had unknowingly stepped on an emotional landmine. Lando, who had been talking to Zhou across from him, sensed the shift in the driver sitting next to him. He diverted his attention for a moment to try to break the tension before Daniel could say or do something he would regret.

“Pierre, she’s way too smart for you and you’re not her type,” he said casually, earning a laugh from the others including Pierre.

“What are you talking about, I’m everybody’s type,” he said with a smirk.

“Yeah, I think that might be part of the problem,” Lando responded. “Plus, you’re already in a committed relationship with this one,” jabbing his thumb in the direction of Yuki. That side of the table continued to laugh and joke, Daniel included, but he didn’t miss the chance to lock eyes with his teammate to silently convey his thanks for discreetly deflecting the conversation away from the woman that had taken up so much space in his mind. Had he really almost punched his friend at a fancy restaurant during his mentor’s retirement party? He was in deep. Hook, line, and sinker.  

Daniel had bought himself more time extending the signing with Red Bull, but he had no idea what he was doing. You had made it abundantly clear that nothing could happen until after everything was signed. You also hadn’t explicitly said whether you wanted anything to happen afterwards... All he knew, whether or not anything progressed further between the two of you, he just needed to be near you. He needed more time with you, beyond Monday.

The evening continued with heartfelt sentiments exchanged, and Daniel found himself more and more in his feelings especially as the drinks flowed. He thought he recovered from Pierre’s comments at dinner, but then Seb gave a speech to the rest of grid that brought him to the brink of tears. His mentor’s goodbye made him reflect and contemplate his own journey over the year. Though neither driver would be on the grid next season, Daniel was envious that Seb had the opportunity to leave the sport on his own terms compared to the lack of agency he felt with his tenure with McLaren. Feeling unmoored, you showed up out of nowhere to turn his ship around at the eleventh hour. He wasn’t sure what was next for him, but he knew he couldn’t do it without you by his side. Maybe another drink would take his mind off you.

The night continued, one by one the other drivers called it a night. But Daniel stayed until the wee hours of the morning with some of the younger drivers who had higher tolerances. Lando took note of his teammate’s condition who refused to believe he couldn’t keep up. They hadn’t discussed the elephant in the room, but he could put two and two together even if he didn’t have all the details. You might have been discreet, but Daniel was anything but. He noticed how Daniel perked up just a little on the days you had meetings. He noticed the stupid looks you gave each other, each party oblivious to the other. He noticed all the times you went out with the drivers at Daniel’s invitation, which was surely not in your job description. And right now for whatever reason likely involving you, Daniel was miserable, his melancholia exasperated by alcohol.

“Hey mate, I think it’s time to go back to the hotel,” Lando said as he put an arm around Daniel.

“Nooo, but we’re having fun! For Seb!” Daniel slurred as he held up his drink triumphantly.

“We are having fun, but we have to get up really early. Remember?”

Daniel was too tired to fight back. So he pouted as Lando corralled him into the backseat of the car back to the hotel.

-

You rolled into Abu Dhabi at 2am. You were exhausted. You had no shame about rocking under eye patches and a face mask mid-flight to at least hopefully make it look like you’d gotten some type of rest over the last two days. Unfortunately, the dark circles that remained begged to differ.

You were in the middle of checking in when you heard commotion in the lobby behind you. You rolled your eyes at the drunks stumbling in, keeping your head down to avoid any interaction.

“That’s it, almost there mate.” You knew that voice. You slowly turned to find Lando struggling to guide a dazed Daniel towards the elevator. You rubbed your eyes and blinked a few times to make sure you were seeing clearly. That made you wake up.

“Lando? Daniel?”

Both drivers looked your way. You suddenly became very aware and self-conscious of your grungy airport outfit: messy bun, no makeup, and full Enchante sweatsuit Daniel had gifted you after Japan. You couldn’t decipher the look Lando gave you that was equal parts relieved and concerned, but Daniel’s face lit up immediately showing off those darn dimples.

“Y/n!”

“Hi. What are you guys doing?” you asked hesitantly. It was mostly directed at Lando since he still had his wits about him, but Daniel answered anyways.  

“We had to say goodbye to Seb,” he said solemnly. Lando rolled his eyes seeing the immediate look of concern and confusion on your face.

“Jesus Christ. The guy’s retiring, he didn’t die.”

You gave a polite smile. “I’m sorry, I think I’m missing something.”

“The whole grid had a retirement party for Seb, not a funeral as this one might have you believe. It started with dinner but some guys stayed out and well… he’s just been slightly overserved.” You pursed your lips together to keep from laughing. You could tell Lando’s patience had run thin, but despite his annoyance he had made sure Daniel got back safe which you appreciated.

“Well, thank you for taking care of my client.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m fine,” Daniel slurred a few feet away, leaning against a pillar in the opulent lobby – immediately followed by him almost slipping but quickly catching himself. He smiled again, proud and satisfied with his own rescue effort.

“Right…” you drawled. You turned to the concierge who had been patient and stoic as the scene unfolded. You’d been informed that the hotel catered to Westerners, but you were still cautious being in a country that technically followed Sharia law despite the many exceptions for expats and tourists. “My apologies ma’am, is it ok if I help escort my friend to his room for a moment? I can finish checking in afterwards.”

“Of course Miss l/n. I’ll still be here.” Having the green light to accompany the two boys, you and Lando flanked Daniel linking your arms through his to walk him to the elevator.

“I don’t need help,” *hiccup* “I’m a strong, independent woman,” he said, though he did nothing to resist your assistance.

“You are maybe half of those things,” you retorted.

“That’s being generous, I give him zero out of three,” Lando chimed in.

“Oh be nice, you know you can feel those muscles,” you lightly countered as you gave Daniel’s bicep a quick squeeze. You gave him a tired, playful smile and the look he returned you was so full of adoration it felt like your heart was going to burst at the seams. He leaned his head on your shoulder when you stepped in the elevator and you wished you could put the moment on pause to keep him there a while longer.

“You can’t possibly be referring to these chicken wings,” Lando replied. “Do you have your room key?” Lando asked Daniel, breaking your daze. Daniel shuffled for a second, patting his pockets, then nodding in confirmation. “Good, I’m going to bed.” He pressed the floor for himself, then Daniel’s.

“I’m sorry, what?” Lando gave you a knowing smile.

“I already did 90% of the heavy lifting, I’m sure you can handle it from here.” You shot daggers his way, Daniel still between the two of you, blissfully unaware of your quarrel. “See you in seven hours,” he said as he got off the elevator.

You sighed as the elevator doors closed, leaving the two of you alone. Daniel was too drunk to feel awkward about the predicament given how you last left things, a lazy smile still on his face.    

“You called me your friend. To the concierge.”

“I did.”

“I thought I was your client.”

“The two aren’t mutually exclusive.” He hummed in response. The answer seemed to make him happy. His eyes grazed over you, his smile growing.  

“You’re wearing my clothes.”

“An astute observation.”

“They look good on you.” The elevator doors opened as a blush crept to your face. You guided him into the hallway and ignored his comment.

“Ok, what number are you?”

“This way,” he said, ignoring your question and yanking you to the right. You kept your arm around him to steady his swaying. You could smell the alcohol coming off him, making you wonder about the events leading up to this but whatever it was wasn’t a conversation for today. He finally stopped in front of a door and fumbled with his pockets. You waited to make sure he could get into his room, but after a minute or two you got concerned.

“I can go back to the concierge to get another key-”

“No, no, I got it.” You watched as he fished it out from the depths of his front pocket, then struggled with getting it to work on the fob.

“Here, let me help you.” Your own patience running low, you took the key from his hands and opened the door. You had planned on finishing your check-in when you knew he made it inside, but felt bad leaving him in the condition he was in. You reasoned that it was to help him avoid a hangover in the morning so that he would be as camera ready as possible for press day, but it was a loose excuse.

You cautiously entered his room and turned on some lights. Your jaw dropped for a moment – his room was at least triple the size of every other hotel room you had stayed at over the course of the season, every detail pristine. You held the door open for him as you ogled in the foyer. He pinballed off the door frame to make his way inside, leaning against the wall across from you. He openly took you in, admiring how his merch hung from your body more perfectly than he ever could have imagined. He didn’t turn away when you returned his gaze.

“Come on let’s get you tucked in, you have a long day tomorrow – or in six and a half hours.” You grabbed his arm again and brought him towards the bed, and he happily followed you like a puppy. You were relieved he was at least cooperating. You sat him down. “Ok sir, where do you keep your pajamas?” He gave you a wicked grin.

“I don’t wear any,” he said shamelessly. You pursed your lips, you knew you walked into that one.

“Of course you don’t. Well when I leave you can get undressed. Just sit tight for a sec.” You opened up the bottle of water by the coffee maker and poured it into a glass. “Here, drink this.” He guzzled the water, so you poured him another. “Good job. How are you feeling?”

“Better now that you’re here.” He showed off his pearly whites with a giant smile, closing his eyes as his head flopped back.

Oh my God, you’re so drunk, you said under your breath. “I’m serious, do you feel nauseous at all? Headache?”

“I’m peachy,” he said as he swung his legs back and forth off the bed. He played with his hands in his lap. Seemingly able to entertain himself at least for a minute, you walked into the bathroom to go through his toiletries to find some Advil and maybe some tums for the morning. When you returned, your patient was already taking off his shirt and had started undoing his belt.

“Woah, woah, woah, slow down there tiger. Why don’t you take two Advil first?”

“I’ll do anything you tell me,” he said before swallowing the pills you handed him. “I’m going to miss you when you leave.” His sudden shift in tone threw you off. You sat down next to him to show your support and solidarity.

“You know you can always call me. It will be like I never left.”

“As a friend?” he asked hopefully. You smiled and put a reassuring hand on his thigh.

“Yes, definitely as a friend.” There was a pause.

“What about as more than a friend?” *hiccup* “Like, afterwards?” You bit your lip, but smiled.

“I think that’s a conversation for another time.”

“You didn’t say no.” You laughed.

“You’re drunk as a skunk and this is the moment you choose to dissect semantics.” He picked up your hand resting on his thigh, bringing it to his lips to kiss without breaking eye contact.

“Enchante.”

“That doesn’t even make sense, but it sure is charming as heck,” you said between laughs. You pulled your hand back and stood up. “On that note, I think you have everything you need so I’m going to head out. You have two more ibuprofen on your nightstand for the morning and two tums in case you get heartburn or an upset stomach. I set your alarm for 8:00 so you can sleep in a little, but still gives you an hour to get ready before you need to head to the paddock. I think it’s ok if you’re fashionably late.” He pouted. “Oh come on now, no need to frown. You get to take off those pants and go to bed. I’m going to go to bed too.”

“You’re sure you don’t want to stay?” He gave the best puppy eyes he could. Matched with his bare torso, six pack on full display, and unbuttoned belt and pants, anyone with a weaker constitution would’ve folded immediately. But at this point you were a trained soldier, the end of your internal battle in sight. You did make one concession though.

Maybe it was impulse. Maybe it was the jet lag. Maybe it was the possibility he wouldn’t remember any of it in the morning. But in a streak of boldness, you brought your hand to the side of his face, feeling the sharpness of his jawline and the texture of his stubble. You bent down and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Maybe next time,” you murmured, your lips ghosting over his.

His eyes were flying saucers when you stood. “Good night, Daniel. Get some rest.”

Despite how tired he was, it was hard for him to fall asleep after that.

Taglist: @ravenqueen27 @leslizzle @zendayabelova @eitak-t @chiliwhore @wewoo1233 @thatchickwiththecamera

[phantomonabudget]

We need to talk, Pham. Stop shaming Christine Daaé.

I have seen this behavior consistently for the 30+ years I have been a Phan. What's worse is that I see A LOT of it from grown women. I see posts calling her foolish for leaving Erik. Slut shaming her or calling her a gold digger. Calling her stupid, weak, or unworthy because a "real woman" (presumably the women posting these absurd notions 🙄) would have loved him better and been worthy of his awesome talent and capacity for love. 😳🤮

It's disturbing, disheartening, and disgusting. And it needs to stop.

First off, none of these characters are real, so perhaps let's take things a little less seriously in general. It's a fictional story. I get it: we all love it, and probably love the Phantom's character. That's fine....I've made a 20+ year career dressing as the dude, for crying out loud. 🤣 Maybe we all identify with Erik/The Phantom to some degree. Regardless of the version of the story, if the actors or authors do their job well, we *should* feel pity and compassion for him. But feeling compassion and completely ignoring the character's dangerous and abusive behavior are two very different things. It has the potential for some severe consequences in the real world.

By shaming Christine for leaving Erik at the end, you are potentially telling young people that staying in abusive relationships is the right thing. You make them think that if their significant other is talented, misunderstood, been abused themselves etc, then they should stay and love them into a healthy relationship. That if they just love their abusive SO harder, sacrifice themselves a little more or for a little longer, or keep putting that person's needs above their own, that the relationship will suddenly become this wonderful, euphoric experience. It won't. As a survivor of longtime abusive myself, I can tell you from experience: it doesn't happen that way.

Celebrate healthy relationships and enforcing healthy boundaries. Stop shaming Christine for fighting for and winning her life and saving the man she loves.

And please stop calling this a romance. It's the antithesis of romance.

I am sick of members of this Phandom completely ignoring Erik/The Phantom's behavior to justify their blind adoration. Erik is an abusive and dangerous character, and extremely toxic. He lies to and manipulates Christine using her trauma from her deceased father. He kidnaps her, multiple times. Threatens her and her colleagues. He extorts hundreds of thousands from the business managers. He endangers dozens of people with the chandelier crash, and effectively holds hundreds hostage for months or years at a time with his reign of terror at the Opera.

Then there are the murders. Several of them. Probably been at that for awhile so we can assume it's far more than the two we see in the show. We don't know his actual body count, but we do know he's adept and comfortable taking human life.

And yet, I see some mature phans out here completely ignoring all those things and still shaming Christine for leaving him. Why? Because he's "sexy" (author's note: PLEASE go re-read Leroux. Please). And he's talented. And has so much love to give. And is misunderstood. And society was terrible to him...so it's all fine. 😳🤮 She should have just stayed and loved him like he deserves to be loved. 🙄

Recently I saw a post shaming Christine and the justification was that Raoul was so much worse. He isn't. Is he a perfect character? No, not at all. Does he make mistakes and try to use Christine? In some versions, yes. Does he run around extorting, manipulating, threatening, and killing others? Also no.

Pleasw don't ever use LND!Raoul's character assassination as some kind of justification, because he's still the most sane, normal human being in that show, and Erik is still 1,000 times worse than Raoul in LND. Also, using LND as justification for anything makes for a very weak and uninformed argument.

"Hurt people hurt people." Ever heard that phrase? Abused people sometimes abuse others, especially if they haven't done the work to heal themselves. Their previous abuse does NOT entitle them to abuse others. That is always a deliberate choice and those choices have consequences. The dangerous, disgusting rhetoric I see in the Phantom community basically excuses toxic behavior because Erik was previously abused and nothing is his fault. That is simply not true. Those that abused me were previously abused. Didn't make my abuse hurt any less. And I made the choice to do the work so that the abuse stopped with me. Previous trauma is a reason for the behavior, but it is NEVER, ever an excuse.

And don't let the fact the dude can sing or that he's a snappy dresser blind you to his toxicity.

We can all enjoy the Phantom character's complexity and love him, while still acknowledging his flaws and holding him accountable for his deeply inappropriate choices.

We talk a lot more these days about trauma, toxicity, and self care. And yet, as a community, we still shame the character of Christine Daaé for doing the healthy, correct thing. The ONLY thing. And in doing so, we set a disturbing precedent for our young or vulnerable Phans who now might think that staying in toxic relationships in the real world is okay.

Please do better, Phandom.

[genderqueerdykes]

I really really appreciate the posts about fat acceptance and stuff. I used to be pretty underweight but I've definitely gained weight (and muscle too I'm sure) on HRT, the way it sits/distrubuted on me is something that is hard to see sometimes and there's a lot of parental commentary about fat people that needs to be worked on.

hey, you're welcome! i'm glad you agree

gaining weight isn't always bad, in fact for many people, it can be an outright blessing. people can have a wide variety of conditions that can lead them to being chronically underweight, and putting on even a few pounds was seen as a huge accomplishment and a safety net. my best friend is this way

even if it's not required for one's health, putting on weight isn't inherently bad. every person's body has a range in which it attempts to naturally sit for their baseline weight. this will vary greatly from person to person based off of activity levels, hormone levels, genetics, individual dietary needs vs. dietary intake, digestive issues, eating disorders, allergies, food intolerance, neurodivergence, developmental disorders, and more.

the way i see it is it becomes very obvious to a person when their weight has actually come to negatively affect them. this will be marked in a decline in energy, feeling fatigued and malaise most of the time, headaches, difficulty getting out of bed, increased chronic pain including pain while standing or walking, breathing difficulties, difficulty walking/moving long distances for reasons not due to joint or connective tissue health, becoming pre/diabetic suddenly if one was not before, and/or other health complications that were not present before the amount of weight was gained

most fat, chubby, etc. people are sitting well within the healthy range for their body without realizing it. our bodies are great at telling us what they need it's just hard to listen when we're busy, exhausted, and/or neurodivergent. many people have a good idea of what their body needs but get talked or shamed out of doing what's right for them. parents, like you said, are especially uptight and strict about weight for seemingly no reason.

i've always been fat my whole life. once i reached my teen years i began to hover around the 300 lb range and that's where i've always been. my mom was fat and so was my dad, and both of their families. my mom projected so much of her fatphobia on to me it was unreal. she would critcize me any time i wanted a snack by asking "you're eating again?" and other dumb shit. children are growing and active, they need a lot of food, especially for good brain function (yes, our brains need fuel, revolutionary concept, i know)

i don't understand why parents desperately NEED their children to be physically attractive to them. can we talk about this? i know it's uncomfortable but this is a huge parental issue. i am SO tired of hearing parents go ON AND ON about how "beautiful" or "handsome" their children are. it's extremely creepy, there's no reason to focus on their appearance like that. some parents become SO distressed when their children are not conventionally attractive, as if it makes them less attractive by proxy. it's insanely creepy. a child's conventional beauty or lack there of should be of no concern to a parent- why do some parents obsess over this? it gives the child severe body image issues and it's not a good level of vanity to project on to a kid

anyway, it's okay to be fat, especially if you find you're not struggling with pain or mobility. some people will have pain and mobility issues no matter what weight they're at. everyone's different. someone's weight is their own concern and nobody else's, unless there is medical significance in which case it is between them and their medical team. not every fat person has health issues due to their weight, in fact, most do not. it's okay to let your body be the weight it wants to be

nobody should have to constantly feel like they have to be fighting their own biology just to look "more attractive". people are attractive when they look the most like their real, natural selves. it's way more flattering and it's better for the individual. don't expect other people to go through hell just to look "good". just let people be themselves. let people feel good, and feel good about themselves. worry about yourselves when it comes to appearance

anyway, thank you for the feedback, i really appreciate it! i will always be here for other fat folk because i've gone through many interesting situations with diet and health and my weight always sits around the 300 mark give or take 20 lbs in either direction. my lowest weight as an adult was 260 lbs. my highest was 360. muscle tissue plays a huge factor in this right now for me. i have clothes in my closet that range from literally Small all the way up to XXXL and they all fit me just fine. weight isn't as big of a deal as people think it is, it's a very neutral thing most of the time

[kitthenameless]

I made this other post about the Emperor and Ansur once, but I had more things I wanted to say and couldn't quite fit in without muddying my point.

This is perhaps a bit of a reach, but this is not the first time I've found a portrayal of turning into a monster that I relate to as a chronically ill / disabled person who became ill later in life. It has nothing to do with feeling monstrous (I don't feel monstrous) or even body horror, and everything to do with how disabled people are treated by society and even those closest to us.

Obviously disabled people don't go around eating brains. We are not dangerous any more than abled people are. But becoming a mindflayer (or whatever monster) is comparable in the sense that, it can happen suddenly, and then your whole life is different, your body is not what it used to be (maybe visually, maybe the way it works or doesn't work now), and you need certain accommodations in order to thrive or even just survive. But people treat you differently now, you're not really given any help, and truthfully a lot of people would rather you just be dead. You're abandoned by society to figure out your new life and all its difficulties on your own. If you're lucky, you have some people who care enough to help you. If you're not lucky, you do the best you can in your desperation.

And that's why it feels so messed up to me that Ansur just gave up on Balduran/Emperor once he couldn't cure him. He clearly believes this is still Balduran, as shown by how he speaks to him when you meet him. So in his mind, he wasn't even trying to kill some creature that just had Balduran's memories. He was trying to kill Balduran. Who forcibly underwent a change to his body and accepted it and decided he still wanted a chance at living.

Edit to add: I'm pretty sure the Emperor even says it wasn't easy at first, so he didn't immediately embrace being a mindflayer. He came to accept it with some time, and that feels even more significant to me.

Like I said, I know becoming a mindflayer is not exactly the same as becoming disabled because mindflayers are dangerous. But also like I said, in my other post, the game shows us there are options to living ethically as a mindflayer. It's just that no one even helped the Emperor try to find them. And even so, he did his best on his own by eating criminals (which there is proof of, in a transcript).

I don't even blame him for disguising himself to the player at first. Look at how society treats freed mindflayers. Look at how the Emperor's own best friend and lover treated him. It makes perfect sense to assume we would hurt him or refuse to help him too.

Some people are so quick to forgive the companions for all the messed up things they've done because they have trauma. The Emperor has been through shit too though. He wouldn't admit to having trauma, but he was kidnapped, had his body forcibly changed, had his mind enslaved, had his lover try to kill him, had to kill his lover in self-defense, and was enslaved a second time. Sounds pretty traumatic to me.

Anyway. It's probably random to end this by talking about books, but that's what I do (literally, I also have a book blog), so. The other stories I also related to in this way were Dead Collections by Isaac Fellman (vampires) and Bored Gay Werewolf by Tony Santorella (werewolves). Maybe look 'em up, if you like that sorta thing.

[olderthannetfic]

This may be a touch grass moment but i also am not sharing this on my dash :D

It's surreal people falling for Deadpool & wolverine queerbaiting while at the same time hating that people ship two male best friends.

Cause like d&w point is that the are bros but... also....maybe... they are like bros who fuck. And the whole marketing was around that and like it feels like everyone treats it as a haha moment.

While when someone is shipping two men who are 'best friends' suddenly its a reach and you're looking too much into things. And queercoding is not a thing anymore suddenly.

--

Well...

Deadpool has long been able to get away with canonically referring to the homoeroticism of comic books because he's played for laughs and he's always meta and weird. I haven't seen the latest one, but having Deadpool movies do yet more of this is no surprise.

Queercoding is indeed a thing. If you watch The Celluloid Closet, it talks a lot about the history of this and the kinds of either subcultural markers or negative stereotypes that are usually involved.

But most epic, heroic male best friends are intended as non-romantic. They don't have nods to cis gay culture like the things discussed in The Celluloid Closet. They don't engage with common negative stereotypes seen in villains. They just care deeply about each other.

Fandom reads this as significant subtext. In a BL manga, it would mean something. In cis gay culture, the most you'll usually get is "Yeah, they're hot, and they should fuck about it".

How we read subtext—whether there is subtext—depends heavily on your exact culture and discourse community. (Like, the actual meaning of "discourse community", not the fandom wank meaning.) It's easy to think someone is reaching when they say something has subtext or is near-canonical if you come from a totally different culture with a different set of assumptions. That can be true even if you like the idea of a ship or wish it would become canon.

If someone enjoys Deadpool's gay chicken vibes but yells at Stucky shippers, they're a jerk. They're not necessarily a hypocrite though.

[lupinmoonlight]

Submission Part 3: Obedience

Masterlist AO3 Submission Part 1 Submission Part 2: Establishing Rules

Summary - Your fantasies to be dominated finally become true. Professor Lupin leaves a mark of ownership on your skin and tests your willingness to submit to him. You also lose your BJ v-card on your knees in his quarters. (4,062 words)

Warnings - smut, teacher/student relationship, heavy D/s undertones, professor/sir kink, rules, mention of pushing limits, mention of safeword, self-degradation, LOTS of "good girl" and "Yes, Sir", oral sex (reader giving), swallowing, mentions of bruises, spanking, being tied up, very light innocence kink if you squint, marking, my grammar.

Notes - This is not proof-read. Almost just pure smut. I had a lot of fun writing this one. This is also my longest piece. Still not sure where I am going with this, I just want it to be kinky. I know how out of character this is for Lupin, but I still try to keep some of his traits in this.

You were staring at your reflection in the mirror, meticulously pulling your hair into a neat bun like he had instructed. Every strand felt significant, every lock a piece of the puzzle you were stepping into or rather, diving into. The collar of your uniform felt tighter than usual, your exposed neck, just for him, sending a chill down your spine. This was real. And there was no going back.

You attended your morning classes in a daze, barely aware of your surroundings, the voices of your professors sounding distant and muffled. You tired to focus, but your mind was elsewhere, the memory of you standing between his legs as he gave you commands taking up all the space in your head.

When it was finally time for your DADA class, your heart pounded in your chest. You suddenly regretted having all those fantasies and acting on them. You were dumb. A dumb, horny teenager desperate to be dominated by her professor. Desperate to give in, to submit, to be used. You took your usual seat, consciously trying to keep your breathing steady. You were filled with a weird mix of nervousness and excitement as Professor Lupin entered the classroom, his gaze momentarily meeting yours before he began the lesson.

As the class progressed, you noticed his gaze lingering on you more often than usual. Every time he looked at you, his eyes would drop to your neck, observing the exposed skin there. The heat that spread through your body was both exhilarating and terrifying, like you were going to combust, leaving you feeling breathless and flustered.

His voice, usually so soothing and calming, felt different today. Every word he spoke seemed to be laced with an undercurrent of something more, something only the two of you were privy to. Each time he said your name, it felt like a secret shared, a promise made. However, he gave no indication of any change in your relationship, but those lingering glances, the slight change in his tone when addressing you, were enough to make you want to kneel right then and there. Pathetic.

Dinner felt like a strange dream, the food tasteless in your mouth as your mind raced with possibilities of what the event might hold. Would he bend you over and fuck you senseless? Would he slowly tease you and make you beg for his touch? Was he even going to touch you? You didn't even care at that point. You would take anything he gave you. You wanted him, needed him.

You finally left the Great Hall, your heart pounding in your chest, barely able to breathe, and made your way to Professor Lupin's quarters. The hallways, usually so familiar and comforting, felt alien tonight. You cursed yourself for being so nervous. You had willingly put yourself in this situation, yet at that moment, it was like you wanted to run away from it, the anxiety consuming you entirely.

You took a deep breath, steeling yourself before knocking softly. The door swung open almost immediately, revealing him standing there, his expression calm and composed.

"Come in," he said simply, stepping aside to let you enter. As you crossed the threshold, you felt like you were going to combust. His quarters were warm and inviting, a reflection of the man consuming your thoughts. A roaring fire cast flickering shadows across the room, bathing everything in a soft, golden light. It smelled of tea, fresh parchment, and something uniquely him. You were dizzy, nauseous, aroused, absolutely intoxicated.

"Sit," he gestured towards a chair near the fireplace. You did as you were told, your hands nervously clutching at the edge of your skirt. He took a seat opposite you, his gaze steady and serious.

"Before we continue," he began, his voice firm yet gentle, "we need to discuss the possible consequences and punishments if you fail to follow my instructions. It's important that you understand what is expected of you, and that you agree to these terms."

He paused, letting his words sink in, before continuing. "Are you ready to hear them?"

You swallowed hard and forced yourself to maintain eye contact with him. "Yes," you finally let out, your voice barely above a whisper.

He arched an eyebrow, a clear sign that you'd made a mistake. "Yes, what?" he corrected, his tone stern.

You blinked, realizing your error. "Yes, Sir," you corrected yourself, feeling your cheeks flush with embarrassment.

"Good. Firstly, if you fail to maintain eye contact or address me properly during our sessions, you will lose privileges. This could mean that our sessions are shortened or certain activities are taken off the table."

You nodded, feeling the heat pool between your legs. The simple act of him giving you a mundane instruction was enough to make your breath hitch in your throat, and you hated yourself for it. He was your weakness and you could not deny it.

"Secondly," he continued, "if you fail to follow my instructions, either inside or outside our sessions, you will be given a chance to explain yourself. However, if I find your explanation unsatisfactory or if it happens repeatedly, you may be subjected to physical punishments. These may include, but are not limited to, spankings, or standing in the corner for a predetermined amount of time. Do you understand?"

You felt your heart race at the thought of such punishments. Were they even punishments for you? You were ready to beg to be spanked by him, to be manhandled, humiliated, but you managed to reply, "Yes, Sir."

"Very good," he continued, satisfied. "Lastly, I must remind you that if you ever feel uncomfortable, unsafe, or overwhelmed, you must tell me immediately. Failing to do so will be considered a breach of our agreement and may lead to the termination of our arrangement. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Sir," you said, feeling a strange mix of relief and apprehension. You went into this thinking you wouldn't have any limits, but how far would he be pushing you? And how much were you able to let go entirely?

He nodded, satisfied with your response, and leaned back in his chair, studying you with a focused gaze. You felt exposed, vulnerable, and it was oddly thrilling.

"Are you ready to proceed to the next part of our session?" he asked, his voice steady and calm.

"Yes, Sir," you replied again, feeling as if you were going to pass out.

"Good," he said, nodding in approval. "Stand up."

You quickly rose to your feet, your legs slightly shaky beneath you. His gaze never left you, taking in your every move, every reaction. It was dark, intense, almost predatory. A stark contrast to the kind and soft professor you were used to see in the classroom.

He stood up from his chair, moving to stand in front of you. "Kneel," he commanded. You hesitated for a moment, your heart racing, but eventually obeyed. Sinking to your knees on the plush rug in front of him.

He looked down at you, his gaze softening. "I can see you're nervous," he said, his voice gentle. "It's okay. I want you to relax and let me take over completely. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes Sir," you managed to whisper, your gaze flickering up to meet his.

He watched you, his gaze steady and patient. "Good girl," he praised, the words sending a jolt of electricity between your legs. You felt a rush of warmth at his words, a sense of pride that made you eager to please him further.

"Now," he said, his voice taking a more serious tone, "I want you to take off your shirt. Slowly."

Swallowing the lump in your throat, you did as you were told, slowly unbuttoning your shirt and sliding off your shoulders, leaving yourself exposed to him, your eyes locked with his.

He walked around you, his gaze taking in your bare upper body, burning into your skin, the anticipation making you shiver. You felt exposed, vulnerable, but there was something exhilarating about it, too. You were baring yourself to him, not just physically, but emotionally as well.

"Stay still," he instructed, his voice low and soft. You felt the tip of his wand touch your back, and you braced yourself for what was to come.

With slow, deliberate movements, he traced a pattern on your skin. It felt like a soft burn, not painful but intense. You bit your lip to keep from making a sound, your body tense.

The mark he left was intricate and beautiful. It resembled the moon in its various phases, starting from a full moon at the top of your spine, gradually waning to a crescent at the small of your back, only to wax back into a full moon. The lines were smooth and seamless, glowing faintly against your skin.

"Beautiful," he murmured, tracing the mark with his fingers. His touch was feather-light, but it was enough to make you shiver. "You've done well, taking the marking so bravely. Good girl."

Another rush of warmth spread through your chest at his words, at the pride in his voice. Your heart was racing, your skin tingling under his touch, but you felt more alive than you had in a long time.

"Remember," he said, his voice serious, "this mark is a symbol of our bond, of the trust between us. It's a reminder of the rules, the consequences, and the promise we've made to each other."

"Yes, Sir," you managed to say, your voice barely above a whisper.

He looked at you, his eyes searching your face. "Now, it's important for you to be able to express your desires openly and honestly," he said, his voice firm. "I want you to tell me exactly what you want me to do to you. Use your words, and keep your eyes on me."

You felt your cheeks burn, your heart race. It was one thing to think about your fantasies, to imagine them in the privacy of your own mind, but to say them out loud, to admit them to him…was terrifying.

You tried to look at him, to meet his gaze, but your eyes kept darting away, unable to hold his steady stare. "Eyes on me," he reminded you, and you forced yourself to look back at him.

It took a few moments to find your voice, to gather the courage to say the words out loud. "I… I want you to… to take control, to… to make me submit to you."

He nodded, his gaze unwavering. "Go on," he urged, his voice soft but insistent.

You took a shaky breath, forcing yourself to continue. "I want you to… to touch me, Sir. To push me to my limits, to make me… beg for your touch. To spank me until I can't speak anymore."

He leaned in slightly, his eyes locked with yours. "What else?" he asked.

You swallowed hard, feeling your cheeks burning with embarrassment. "I want you to… to tie me up, Sir. To bind me, to keep me helpless under your control."

He took a moment, studying your face, your eyes, looking for any signs of hesitation, fear, or uncertainty. Finding none, he nodded, his expression serious yet gentle.

"Stand up," he instructed firmly. "I want you to trust me. Let me guide you."

You stood, your legs a little shaky but your resolve strong.

"Good," he murmured, a note of approval in his voice. "Now, I want you to put your hands behind your back."

As you did as he instructed, he conjured a piece of silk rope, long and soft. Your heart pounded in your chest as he approached you, the rope in his hands.

He saw the look in your eyes and gave you a reassuring smile. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, Sir," you managed to whisper, your throat dry.

"Good," he said softly, before he started to tie your hands behind your back. His touch was gentle, the knots firm but not too tight, allowing enough room for your skin to breathe.

"Now, let's see about that spanking you asked for," he said as he sat back in his chair, guiding you over his lap, your hands still bound behind your back. His touch was firm yet gentle, making sure you were comfortable. He lifted up your skirt, making it pool around your waist, and slowly pulled down your panties, revealing your bare skin.

The first smack landed on your backside without warning, a sting that made you gasp. It wasn't painful, just surprising.

"Good girl," he praised. "You're doing well."

He continued, each smack making your body jolt, your skin tingle. You could feel the heat spreading between your legs. You were wet, the mix of pain and pleasure that was so intense, so arousing. You bit your lip and breathed deeply. It was all you could do to keep yourself from squirming. You could feel a bulge insistently pressing against your lower abdomen, a sign you were not the only one finding this arousing.

He would pause every now and then, his hand gently rubbing your ass, soothing the sting. His touch was comforting, grounding, a reminder that he was there, that he was in control, but that he was also taking care of you.

When he finally stopped, you were panting, your skin hot, your heart pounding in your chest.

"Good girl," he murmured, helping you sit in his lap. His eyes were soft, his voice full of praise. He placed his hands on your bare thighs, his hard length now pressing against your abused ass through his trousers.

He untied your hands, his touch gentle as he rubbed your wrists, soothing the slight sting from the ropes. He scanned your body for any signs of discomfort. Finding none, he stood from his chair, guiding you up to your feet. "On your knees," he ordered in a calm, steady voice.

You did as you were told, slowly sinking to the floor until your knees hit the soft rug beneath you, your eyes perfectly levelled with the evident arousal straining against the fabric of his trousers. Your heart pounded in your chest as he approached you, his steps slow and measured. His hand found its way into your hair, threading through the strands and closing into a firm grip. He tugged lightly, tilting your head upwards, forcing you to meet his gaze. His eyes were serious, dark with desire.

Your cheeks heated up as he tightened his grip on your hair, pulling your head closer to him, a silent command that made your heart race.

You swallowed hard, your mouth suddenly dry as a knot of anxiety formed in your stomach. "Sir… I… I've never…" you started, your voice shaky.

He paused at your confession, his gaze softening. "It's alright," he said, his voice calm and reassuring. "I will guide you. But I will not ask you to do anything you're not comfortable with. Are you willing to proceed?"

"Yes, Sir," you replied, the knot in your stomach loosening slightly at his words.

His free hand reached down, unbuttoning his trousers and pulling them down just enough to free his hard length. He glanced down at you, his eyes locking with yours. "Are you ready?" he asked, his voice soft but firm.

You nodded, whispering, "Yes, Sir."

"Good girl," he murmured. He positioned you properly, your hands resting on his thighs as he guided you forward. "I want you to start by kissing and licking the length of me, getting a feel for it."

Tentatively, you followed his instructions, placing soft, hesitant kisses along his length before using your tongue to explore his contours. He continued to hold your hair, guiding your movements as needed.

"Good girl," he praised again. "Now, take the head into your mouth, and slowly work your way down."

You did as he instructed, the intimacy of the act causing your heart to race. He guided your head with gentle pressure, his fingers still tangled in your hair. "Relax your throat and breathe through your nose," he advised, his voice never faltering.

As you continued, you found yourself getting lost in the sensation of him filling your mouth. You tried to be careful, to keep your teeth out of the way, to pleasure him. He was big, making your jaw hurt in a delightful way.

After giving you time to adjust to the new sensation, he took more control over the movements, his hand in your hair holding you in place as he slowly thrusted in and out of your mouth. "Keep your eyes on me," he commanded when you momentarily looked away, and you quickly refocused your gaze on his. "Take your time," he murmured, his voice low and soothing. "You're doing well. Just breathe."

You tried your best to follow his advice, to relax and just breathe, but you couldn't help but tense up as he pushed further, the unfamiliar sensation making you choke slightly. He paused immediately, pulling back a bit and giving you time to adjust.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice laced with concern.

You nodded, taking a deep breath. "Yes, Sir," you managed to say, your voice muffled around his cock stuffing your mouth.

He began to move again, his eyes never leaving yours as he thrusted slowly and deliberately, hitting the back of your throat every time, making you gag.

"Relax your throat for me," he instructed, ensuring that you pleasured him as he desired. "That's it…just like that," he commanded, his voice low and gruff, thick with desire.

His breath hitched as you took him deeper, causing him to let out a low growl of approval. The sight of you on your knees, teary eyed, with your swollen lips stretched around him drove him closer to the edge. He could feel his release building, the familiar coil in his lower abdomen tightening with every passing second. But he didn't want this to end, not just yet. He wanted to savor this moment, to draw out this sweet torture for as long as he could.

"Good girl…you're doing so well," he praised, his voice barely above a whisper. The praise made you feel warm, a sense of accomplishment washing over you.

You focused on your breathing, on his voice, on the sensation of him in your mouth. The taste of him on your tongue, his hand tightly gripping your hair, the sound of his growl every time he hit the back of your throat…it was intoxicating, it was enough to make you come right then and there. But this was not about you, it was about his pleasure, about him dominating you in the most intimate way. You couldn't help but close your eyes at the thought, your hands gripping his thighs in an attempt to ground yourself.

"Keep your eyes on me," he growled, his grip on her hair tightening. "Don't look away." And as you complied, your gaze locking with his, he felt a sense of possessiveness wash over him.

His thrusts became more urgent and forceful, and you struggled to keep up, your jaw growing tired and your eyes watering. But you were determined not to disappoint him, so you pushed through the discomfort.

His grip on your hair tightened, his breaths becoming ragged. "I'm close," he warned, his voice strained.

His words sent a jolt of anticipation through you, your heart pounding in your chest. He was trusting you with this, with his pleasure, his release.

He looked down at you, his gaze intense. "Swallow for me," he commanded, his voice low and hoarse.

The command was a shock and made your heart pound in your chest, a flush creeping up your cheeks. But you nodded, ready to obey, ready to please him.

In one final deep thrust, he groaned, his release washing over him as he spilled himself in your mouth. "Swallow," he commanded, his voice a low growl.

You could feel his cock pulse on your tongue, the warm salty liquid filling your mouth. You struggled, the sensation and taste overwhelming. But his grip on your hair remained firm, holding you there as he watched you swallow down his seed, some of it dribbling down your chin.

When he finally pulled away, there was a moment of silence, a pause filled with heavy breaths and the pounding of your heart. He looked down at you with a gentle but intense gaze, his thumb wiping away the salty remnants of his release. He brought it up to your lips, and without hesitation, you opened your mouth to suck it clean, looking up at him with wide innocent eyes. The sight was sinful enough to make his cock twitch once more.

After a moment, he helped you to your feet. His touch was soft, caring as he helped you put your shirt back on. The fabric was cool against your skin, a stark contrast to the heat still emanating from the mark he had left on your back.

He stepped back, studying you for a moment. Then, he reached out, his hand coming up to cup your chin. "I have a new rule for you," he said, his voice low and serious.

You looked up at him, waiting for him to continue.

"You are not to touch yourself without my explicit permission," he stated, his gaze never leaving yours. "Do you understand?"

You nodded, a rush of excitement coursing through you, although you couldn't deny the disappointment. You weren't sure how you would be able to hold out once you were on your own with your filthy mind, replaying tonight's encounter. "Yes, Sir."

"Good," he murmured, leaning in to press a soft kiss to your forehead. Then, he moved to your neck, his lips pressing against the soft skin. You could feel the pressure build, a sharp sting as he sucked a deep red mark onto your skin. The sensation was both pleasurable and painful, a reminder of your submission to him.

His voice was a whisper against your skin as he spoke next. "Tomorrow," he began, pulling away to look at you, "I want you to wear no panties for our next session."

You swallowed hard, nodding in understanding. "Yes, Sir."

He smiled at you, his expression soft. "Now, off you go. I expect you to complete your homework and go to bed early. Rest up; you'll need your energy for our next session."

You looked into his eyes, feeling a mix of excitement, anticipation, and gratitude. "Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir."

With a final, lingering touch to your cheek, he sent you on your way, his gaze following you as you left his quarters. The night air was cool against your heated skin as you made your way back to your dormitory, your mind racing with thoughts of what had transpired, and what was to come.

As you lay in bed that night, the red mark on your neck throbbing gently, your skin tingling with an afterglow that made your knees weak. You couldn't shake off the memory of his touch, his voice, his gaze - it was all too much, too overwhelming, and you were desperate to touch yourself.

Every nerve in your body was screaming for his touch, his command. You wanted to feel his hand threading through your hair again, his fingers gripping firmly. You wanted to hear his low, firm voice, instructing you, guiding you, praising you. You craved the sense of surrender, the thrill of obedience, the intoxicating rush of relinquishing control.

Another part of you hated feeling so submissive, so weak, so desperate. You hated the fact that you needed him, that you wanted him. It was confusing, conflicting. And yet, there was something about him – something that drew you in, something that made you want to submit, to surrender. His gentle yet firm demeanor, his patient understanding, his stern but caring guidance – it all made you feel seen, heard, valued.

Your fingers traced the red mark on your neck - a constant reminder of your submission, of your surrender. Your throat was sore from being used. Your scalp was sensitive from having your hair pulled. You could still feel his hand on your backside. He was everywhere. On your skin, in your mouth, in your stomach. And it was perfect. And you wanted more, needed more, craved more.

[rune-rambles-art]

Okay I have to yell about Koleda Belobog Zenless Zone Zero because I feel like I love her in a very specific way that I haven’t seen a lot of people talk about. More under the cut because I have,,, so many thoughts.

Koleda is such a good portrayal of someone who struggles with their perception as an adult. A pretty easy conclusion to make with the first thing she usually says on the character select screen being “Hey, don’t look down on me!”, but it definitely goes a lot deeper the more you spend time with her. Specifically, she seems to struggle in her perception of herself as someone much more mature than her younger peers, but still not on the same level as the adults in similar positions of power as her. I kinda. Hate zenless for not explicitly stating how old she is, but given she rose to her position at Belobog “when she came of age” (which honestly, I still can’t give a concrete answer to what hoyo means by this? Some searches I found claimed the working age to be 16 in China, I’ve seen others online claim 18 but that’s not reliable. Hoyo I'm begging you put official ages on your characters it's a cool and based practice), she waited for a significant amount of time before taking up her role as president. She is an adult from what the game implies, and a core part of her character is fighting against the constant infantilization she faces due to how she looks.

Let’s start with her love of desserts (and a honestly this is the reason I started writing this). It’s her most highlighted character trait (it is also the first known attribute in her trust rank profile when you unlock her), and most of her trust events on 6th street revolves around them. Initially, she hesitates in proclaiming her love for them, likely to avoid being perceived as childish.

Her rank 4 trust special event is, admittedly, my favorite, but it’s one of the best breakdowns of this.

In order to maintain her image as a mature adult, she uses her position as company president to get around having to request a special dessert drink by name (in her defense, "Sweet Girl Fluffy Marshmallow Lambkin Milk" is an insane mouthful of a product name). At the end of the event she admits that saying its name “wasn’t as bad as she thought”, but her initial kneejerk reaction was a complete rejection of even entertaining the idea of doing something that could put the image she worked so hard to create and maintain at risk. Despite this, she still refuses desserts that aren't tooth-rottingly sweet, even if they are seen as the more mature or "refined" option. It's only around people that she really trusts does she allow this part of herself to be known, because she knows they wouldn't misconstrue this behavior as childish.

I also think her perception on the differences between kids and adults is interesting ("thank you agent story quest" we all say in unison). She doesn't ever feel like she fits in with other kids, probably due to all the responsibility she had to take on as the eventual heir to her father's company. But she also holds a vocal distain for many of her adult peers. Her declaration of "When I was younger, I thought the whole world was rotten, trying to make people just as rotten when they grow up." is a reflection of how she struggled to find her place in the world as she was forced to suddenly transition into adulthood, while still trying to understand the actions of the adults around her.

Her relationship with her father becoming strained contributed significantly to her world outlook as well, and may have caused such a specific distinction of what she deems "the world of adults". I don't want to dive too specifically into that because spoilers and the game is only a few weeks old so. Pin that for another time maybe? It definitely matters in the sense that the loss of her father is the catalyst for the loss of her childhood, but a lot of the specifics in how that affected her are speculative (and I don't wanna get too headcanon-y in this particular post) and she explicitly chooses not to discuss it too in-depth with the proxy (which, girl. Valid). But she's slowly learning to cope with that loss, at least it seems that way by the end of chapter 3. Honestly I could probably find more to add about the agent story in particular, but I would have to replay it to get a better idea.

To me, Koleda Belobog is very solid representation for women who had to grow up too fast, struggle with the perception of being seen as an adult, and hold guilt about indulging in acts that can be perceived as childish by their peers because they never fully got the chance to just be a kid. It truly did resonate with me, and it feels like such a specific "if you know, you know" kind of experience that I don't feel is talked about as much in media, especially with people who identify as female during their youth.

Also, also! I hope they dive in a bit more on how she got/has so much hollow corruption at a young age. Because they imply that she is so short as a result of this hollow corruption. Like that's so damn interesting conceptually and I know they delved on it more in Rina's agent story but. It was more of a mental affliction than a physical one.

Anyway I've been working on this for like 2 days now but that's all I have in terms of like. A canon-compliant character analysis.

TLDR; Koleda is such a perfect example of "God forbid short women exist" and I love her for that. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[bijoutarot]

Singles December Love Reading

Pick an Image

Image 1

“Codependency: Addictions are affecting your romantic life”

A disappointment or a heartbreak has led someone in your environment down a dark path. It is affecting their work life and love life. It is hard to get through to this person because they are not ready to receive help. This person was once the life of the party but now things have taken a turn because they do not wish the party to end. For some of you the beach has a great significant meaning to you two. In December you will be wondering if you are betraying this person if you decide to walk away. You know they will try to guilt trip you because you want more than just a hookup energy. You are ready for commitment and you realized this when the holidays came around and this person disappointed you. For some of you this person was not answering phone calls and you are becoming suspicious that someone else is in the picture. Some of you are artists or create content and this will soon become a lucrative business.

Image 2

“New love: a new person has stirred your romantic feelings”

Image 2 you will be finally putting yourself out there in December. You are finally learning to have fun while dating. At this time you may not be necessarily looking for the happily ever after people may be pressuring you to pursue. This is the time you are weighing your options and seeking something that will benefit you. Also expect someone to be attempting to return to your life. I see a number of former friends trying to message you out of the blue. It seems like now people are suddenly returning when you are back on your feet but was not there when you were healing. It is possible that they felt like you needed some time. You wanted to get back to you before making a public appearance again.

Image 3

“Past life relationship: You have known each other before”

Image 3 there is someone in your life that you have been off and on with for a while. One of you tends to jump ship when things get hard. There are a lot of memories shared between you two good and bad. For some of you this person has been around for years like when you were in high school. You guys have to learn that as you grow up you will be changing. Sometimes people grow apart and head in different directions. You are wondering if this is over for good or if this is just temporary. The love is strong between you two so it is harder to walk away. This separation is harder to endure this time around especially at night. This is causing a disturbance in your sleep.

Image 4

“It is safe for you to love: open your heart to give and receive the highest energy of all”

Image 4 December will bring you clarity. You know exactly what you want from your lover and refuse to settle for less. You are not looking for 50/50 connections or people who suddenly want to call you after things have failed in their life. You are not in a rush for love you want it to come when the time is right. You do not want another toxic relationship with the jealousy and fighting like in the past. Your last connection made you feel tied down and heavy. This person was draining you energetically and you lost yourself in a way. Their problems and drama pulled you down. You are powerful and confident in yourself. This time around you are more selective with your person. In December expect a return from someone in your past that is toxic and envious of you.

Which image resonates?