#dismissing pain

[furiousgoldfish]

i experience pain that i almost want to call debilitating but no one believes me. my parents brush everything off as an overreaction & excuses it as "well my own parents never took me to the doctor!" (turns out i had to have a tumor removed bc they overlooked my pain that much) & even after that they still wont believe me & all of my doctors think i'm a lying drug seeking hypochondriac who reads too much internet articles. i feel hopeless b/c no pain relief method works outside of drugs that would get me classified as an addict and i've tried whatever i have the energy to do & i just feel like there's no way out of this. im a minor & i dont know what to do. your blog has been very very helpful and im so sorry to be dumping this on you but i always thought you have great insight & perhaps you would have insight on my situation too, your writing is very inspirational & i hope you have an amazing life

I am so sorry anon, I can't imagine how much pain you've endured, it's disgusting they went as far as ignore the pain of cancer, which must have been extreme. And they still refuse to believe you and accuse you of a disordered fear! That's infuriating, they should be freaking ashamed of themselves.

I wish I could give you an advice, I've never faced a situation like this, and I have no idea what could be of some relief on you. If anyone reading this has faced similar issues and would know what to do, please respond to this post and share your insight.

Thank you for your kind words, and I'm so sorry you're in pain. People who disregarded your pain should have it inflicted on them, their judgment and lack of empathy is despicable. I hope you find something that allows you to be pain free.

[galacticlamps]

ok I have A Lot of thoughts about the staircase confession (well really about Edwin's whole character arc, but all roads lead to rome) but for now I just wanna say that, yes, I was bracing myself for something to go terribly wrong when I first watched it, and yes, part of me was initially worried its placement might be an uncharacteristically foolish choice made in the name of Drama or Pacing or Making a Compelling Episode of Television but at the expense of narrative sense--

But I wanna say that having taken all that into account, and watched it play out, and sat with it - and honestly become rather transfixed by it - I really think it's a beautifully crafted moment and truly the only way that arc could've arrived at such a satisfying conclusion.

And if I had to pinpoint why I not only buy it but also have come to really treasure it, I'd have to put it down to the fact that it genuinely is a confession, and nothing else.

That moment is an announcement of what Edwin has come to understand about himself, but because it takes the form of a character admitting romantic feelings for such a close friend, I think it can be very easy, when writing that kind of thing, to imbue it with other elements like a plea or a request or even the start of a new relationship that, intentionally or not, would change the shape of the moment and can quickly overshadow what a huge deal the telling is all on its own. But that's not the case here. Since it is only a confession, unaccompanied by anything else, and since we see afterward how it was enough, evidently, to fix the strangeness that had grown between him & Charles, we're forced to understand that it was never Edwin's feelings that were actually making things difficult for him - it was not being able to tell Charles about them. 'Terrified' as he's been of this, Edwin learns that his feelings don't need to either disappear completely or be totally reciprocated in order for him to be able to return to the peace, stability, and security of the relationship with which he defines his existence - and the scale of that relief a) tells us a hell of a lot about Edwin as a character and b) totally justifies the way his declaration just bursts out of him at what would otherwise be such a poorly chosen moment, in my opinion.

Whether or not they are or ever could be reciprocated, Edwin's feelings are definitively proven not to be the problem here - only his potential choice to bottle it up - his repression - is. And where that repression had once been mainly involuntary, a product of what he'd been through, now that he's got this new awareness of himself, if he still fails to admit what he's found either to himself or to the one person he's so unambiguously close with, then that repression will be by his own choice and actions.

And he won't do that. Among other things, he's coming into this scene having just (unknowingly) absolved the soul of his own school bully and accidental killer by pointing out a fact that is every bit as central to his self-discovery as anything about his sexuality or his attraction to Charles is: the idea that "If you punish yourself, everywhere becomes Hell"

So narratively speaking, of course it makes sense that Edwin literally cannot get out of Hell until he stops punishing himself - and right now, the thing that's torturing him is something he has control over. It's not who he is or what he feels, but what he chooses to do with those feelings that's hurting him, and he's even already made the conscious choice to tell Charles about them, he was just interrupted. But now that they're back together and he's literally in the middle of an attempt to escape Hell, there is absolutely no way he can so much as stop for breath without telling Charles the truth. Even the stopping for breath is so loaded - because they're ghosts, they don't need to breathe, but also they're in Hell, so the one thing they can feel is pain, however nonsensical. And Edwin certainly is in pain. But whether he knows what he's about to do or not when he says he 'just needs a tick,' a breather is absolutely not what's gonna give him enough relief to keep climbing - it's fixing that other hurt, though, that will.

Like everything else in that scene, there's a lot of layers to him promising Charles "You don't have to feel the same way, I just needed you to know" - but I don't think that means it isn't also true on a surface level. It's the act of telling Charles that matters so much more than whatever follows it, and while that might have gone unnoticed if anything else major had happened in the same conversation, now we're forced to acknowledge its staggering and singular importance for what it is. The moment is well-earned and properly built up to, but until we see it happen in all its wonderful simplicity, and we see the aftermath (or lack thereof, even), we couldn't properly anticipate how much of a weight off Edwin's shoulders merely getting to share the truth with Charles was going to be, why he couldn't wait for a better, safer opportunity before giving in to that desire, or how badly he needed to say it and nothing else - and I really, really love the weight that act of just being honest, seen, and known is given in their story/relationship.

[stillgotscars]

does anyone else feel nauseous when they think about the transition from “chains around my demons, wool to brave the seasons” to “i know my pain is such an imposition,” or is it just me?

[raggedy-spaceman]

OFMD episode 4

Ed and Stede’s plot: wondering about, having fun, gossiping with their new lesbian bffs

The crew on the Revenge plot:

[roseofcards90]

The fact that people were so willing to completely dismiss what happened in After Pain and Harrow after they saw It's Not My Fault and Deep Cover paint Mu and Kotoko in a worse light really shows that some people don't have literary comprehension 😭

[like-i-was-an-old-cardigan]

who else is sick of facing ableism in the process of getting accommodations!!

[dailykugisaki]

Day 113 | id in alt

It's Fushiguro's fault that he does it every five seconds. He lives and breathes mahoraga.

[oshiawaseni]

It ever just hit you how Katsuki spent most of his life cursing his rotten bond with Izuku that he couldn’t get rid of, until he was hit by the realisation he actually loves and needs Izuku so much that he would feel like he died himself if Izuku ever were to leave him

and then during a time when Izuku left him, Katsuki really did freaking die…?

The symbolism?? Like talk about a bond with love so strong, that person literally holds your life in their hands and you would willingly give it up for them a countless times over, without question.

Even though Katsuki was forced to endure so much suffering all on his own because of what he means to Izuku, he could choose only him in his final moments.

When one stares into death, often they will expose the true shape of their heart. For Katsuki that’s Izuku. It’s always been Izuku. In his search for comfort, he could see and feel no one else. Thinking of him, talking to him, longing to be by his side again… wanting for nothing other than to be the hero Izuku believes in and loves… right ‘til the very end.

Katsuki knew Izuku’s love was why he had been horrifically beaten down first and that he was going to die, but he held it so closely and dear to him, as if it were the most precious treasure.

Like it was the only thing that mattered.

[laniemae]

I really get annoyed when people see t2 Muu’s change in character and say it’s unnatural and came out of nowhere. Sparring how it was already heavily implied in t1 especially with crying b that’s not true? As someone with a very similar mindset to her it only feels natural that that’s the progression she went with after being forgiven. I often find myself flipping between wanting to be a pitiful victim hurt by everyone around me and a heartless perpetrator taking down people for being annoying, especially as I’ve had similar situations to her. Muu adapting this mindset after being forgiven is definitely realistic and speaks to me, as her forgiveness allows her to express a part of herself that she hates in way she feels as if she is subtly controlling everyone around her and who forgave her and follow her. So it’s really disheartening seeing people switch to hating her after everything and regarding her as simply cruel and manipulative.

[reanimatedgh0ul]

it's crazy to me that angsty broody danny™ is as popular as it is in fanon when it's like first off have you even MET danny and secondly SAM EBONY DARK'NESS DEMENTIA RAVEN WAY MANSON IS LITERALLY RIGHT THERE OUT OF ANYONE IN THE TRIO SHE'S THE ONE WHO'S GONNA ACT LIKE THAT OK I NEED MORE OF Y'ALL TO REALIZE THIS

THIS RIGHT HERE IS LITERALLY WHAT SAM VS DANNY WOULD LOOK LIKE ACTUALLY

[mermaidsirennikita]

sometimes it drives me literally insane to see romance requests that are like

--I want a romance wherein it's basically the happy epilogue throughout the book

--I want a romance that has great communication and they never withhold anything from each other ever

--no "miscommunication trope"

The last thing is just a general gripe about how so many of the things people say are tropes are not tropes, and it's pedantic and snobby but like. Miscommunication is so broad. It's not a trope. People are miscommunicating. WHAT are they miscommunicating about? Is one of them keeping a secret identity from their partner? Because a secret identity romance iS a trope. Is one of them withholding their feelings out of fear of rejection?

Because people DO miscommunicate. Often writers do write it clumsily. If people miscommunicate for no reason, sure, whatever. But if they miscommunicate BECAUSE of a REASON--like, often it's not even miscommunication lol. It's the hero keeping his dire supernatural secret from his wife because she'll die if she finds out (honestly, valid to me, but whatever). It's the heroine finding it difficult to trust the hero with her heart because her dad left when she was young (maybe cliche in theory, but actually a very real thing that happens).

If all you want is plotless nothing wherein everyone is happy and nobody makes mistakes, I personally have a hard time thinking of it as a book, because there is no story. It's just vibes. And essentially EVERY time, people have to mess up and make mistakes in order for there to be a plot.

I just don't understand the point.

[edenfenixblogs]

Attention Goy Friends!

I was recently asked by another goy friend on Facebook to explain something. And I thought I’d share it here for people who are not in the know.

This person wanted to know why we get SO upset when synagogues are defaced. It wasn’t like they were telling me they didn’t understand why we got upset at all. But they didn’t seem to understand where the depth of feeling came from, especially when there is actual genocide happening to Palestinians. This is a good person acting in good faith and is working on holding two truths at once, so I answered. Here’s what I told them:

First of all, of course, we can fight for Palestinian liberation shoulder to shoulder and feel as awful as you do about it! I hate this genocidal Likud party and their deranged evil leader just like anyone else would. This does not mean we don’t also carry our own pain. It doesn’t mute the pain we carry for Palestinians. We just feel EVEN WORSE on top of that.

Second, with regard to synagogues and other places of Jewish social gathering—I think those of us living in Christian-majority nations all know a fair bit about Christian history just by way of cultural exchange. But if you are not aware—The Protestant split in Europe led to the translation of Church services and texts into English/the primary spoken languages of the various Western European nations worshipping within various Jesus-centric religions. This was a huge and important milestone for poor and lower class people who had every right to participate equally and fully in their religion and could now understand the scriptures and services.

However, to this day, shul is conducted in Hebrew. Prayers are sung in Hebrew. In every Jewish synagogue regardless of denomination. Sure, there are often parts in the common tongue of the area too, but the prayers themselves are still in Hebrew. Usually the same melodies or selection of melodies too. And it’s not because we are some elitist group, as some might claim.

It’s because, even in diaspora, I can go to any Jewish community in the entire world. I may not speak the common tongue of whatever place I end up. But I can go there, listen for the sound of Jewish prayer. If I have nothing to my name and no money or food or home or safety I can look for some Hebrew on a door or a Jewish star and listen for someone singing Oseh Shalom or the Shema Yisrael or the V’ahavta in the same melody that I learned it growing up. And I will have found safety. I will have found community. I will have found people who understand me.

And the part of this that I think most goyim don’t understand is that because of our long history with Christianity there is statistically a more than 50% chance that I or other members of my generation will actually NEED to employ that Jewish community as a resource in the exact circumstance I described above. Because we become victims of genocide within 2-3 generation intervals like clockwork for the last 2000 years.

When a synagogue is attacked in a nation that allows antisemitic hatred to foment unchecked it is such a brutal emotional blow. Because every synagogue destroyed is a safe place for Jews that is no longer safe. Not for the people who go there regularly. And certainly not for the people who may need to go there—who will VERY LIKELY need to go there. And with each space eliminated, we are sent further into diaspora.

[dennistakesamentalhealthday]

s17 plot synopses are gonna be like dennis gets hospitalised for chugging mac's dick too hard. and the dudebros are going to be like wow he is so committed to his D.E.N.N.I.S.ing of mac he is insipiring hope with his recovery that they will chug dicks again....and then the other dudebros are gonna be like wow he chugged mac's dick so hard because he hates him so much he's trying to tear mac down by being a better dick chugger than him he literally hates him so much

[buckyeagan]

Really fucking tired of people expecting me to be do things as an able bodied person when I’m just quite literally not one?

[maisietheyellowlab]

Made a huge mistake letting Navi fall asleep in the bedroom over the weekend. The dogs sleep in the living room/kitchen otherwise, and usually, neither of them have any problems with it. Over the weekend tho, partner went to bed after me, and would call Navi to the living room and she was 100% fine with it. Starting Monday, we just went on with out usual routine, so dogs staying in the living room when we go to bed - no bedroom time for them.

The key thing here is that Navi is currently in heat and apparently at her clingiest atm. So she's been scratching at the door almost every night this week, wanting to be let out to either pee (which is fine) or trying to get to the bedroom or at the very least make me stay with her and pet her at like 3am.

I love her and feel for her but omg girl, let. me. sleep.

[goldkirk]

question: have any of you personally seen a dietician (not looking for experiences with nutritionists, only dieticians), and did you find it helpful or useful, and if you did see a dietician and you ALSO have seen a GI doctor, how did the experience compare for you in terms of helpfulness + how much you felt listened to and helped?