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softquietsteadylove · 5 months

Note

I fell asleep making an ask midway... It was a vow au prompt request and I think I was just editing when I suddenly time traveled to now. I digress my request was:

Thena, half-awake smells breakfast. Her dream turns into an echo of a memory with Gil. Once she awoke, she tried to look for Gil— he was not in the kitchen nor dining room. She had left her food in search for him, wanting answers and hoping he hasn't left for work. Only for her to find out that he just got out of the shower. A particular droplet traces down to his hand. The very hand holding the small towel together as it held for its dear life around his waist.

The dream and memory could be anything, likewise with Gil's reaction. Hope this wasn't a duplicate...

- 🃏

The smell of eggs and aromatics pulled her from sleep. Half in a dream and half in her mind, she thought of coming out of a room. Everything was bathed in sunlight and then there was Gil. Gil standing at the stove, cracking eggs into chili oil with miso soup and fresh fruit waiting. Gil making coffee while she slept, and then as she slinked out wearing his shirt. Gil turning around in nothing but a white t-shirt and sweatpants with his hair mussed after their first night together-

Thena jolted in bed as she woke completely. She'd been experiencing it quite often as of late; she would be hovering on the edge of sleep, stuck in a very vivid dream until she was plunged into wakefulness. It was always jarring, always so vivid she could swear it engaged her senses. And then she would wake up not knowing what was a dream and what was real.

She had vaguely expressed these notions to Gil, although admittedly lacking some of the more vivid details. He had asked if she wanted to see her doctors again, but she declined. She could figure it out on her own, for the time being. And if the dreams got any more tactile, she wasn't sure if she would ever want to go back to the hospital to complain that kissing her husband in her dreams was too realistic.

Thena turned over in her bed to look at the clock. She was growing somewhat tired of the guest bed she now called her own. It was a fine bed, but it was feeling less and less comfortable the longer she spent in it. She also hadn't mentioned that to Gil either.

The therapist at the hospital did say that some separation at first might create a healthy boundary for them.

She dragged herself out of bed, swinging her legs over the side and touching her toes down first. She kept expecting a soft, white shag carpet, but the guest room had hardwood floors and a thinner rug under the bed. Nonetheless, she stood to brave the rest of the apartment.

The smell was real--Gil was making breakfast. Or it was already made, perhaps. Thena poked her head out, surveying the area. It was still early, she didn't think he would be at work already, but he wasn't anywhere to be found either.

She slipped from the guest room, across the opening to the living room and foyer to the kitchen. Her plate was set out for her, on the counter with a steaming hot cup of coffee. Of course he even set out a proper place mat and everything.

Thena rose onto her toes to sit in the high kitchen stool. The stove was off and the coffee was being kept warm; if he wasn't already at work then he was getting ready and about to leave. Part of her was glad she could catch him before he left for the day.

It was one of those silly little things, but she really did enjoy getting to send him off before they spent the bulk of their day apart.

The man made great eggs. She happily cut into them with her fork, admiring the sheen of the red oil slipping off and around the pristine white and jiggly egg yolk. Before Gil, she hadn't bee addicted to chili oil. Now it seemed they put it on everything they ate.

The coffee was also perfect, of course. She looked around again. The solitude of eating alone was also beginning to wear on her. As much as she enjoyed eating in silence, she would take comfortably listening to Gil chewing over the sound of the fridge humming.

"Hey, you're up."

Thena looked over at him, eyes wide and eyebrows raising as high as they could go.

"Sorry hon, I was going to have breakfast with you," he mumbled as he puttered around, depositing a kiss on her cheek before moving to the fridge to retrieve his lunch. "But I remembered kind of late that we've got a big custom order coming in. I should get in a little early to get a head start on things."

Thena just watched numbly as he double checked that the stove was off while also pouring himself a cup of coffee. He really was in a rush, letting little droplets slosh onto the counter.

"Ah!" he hissed as some of it splashed on him. He wiped at it with just the corner of his towel. "I'm sorry I can't sit with you, hon, but after I'm done we can--Thena?"

She just stared.

"Sweetie, are you okay?"

Her eyes darted down and then up helpless. Her jaw was hanging open as if she were a teenager first discovering her own hormones. The splash of coffee aside, Gil wasn't even properly dried off from the shower, a few droplets escaping his hair and trailing down his skin.

The thick muscles he had glistened and jiggled, soft in some places and then sharply angled in others. His free hand was holding the towel around his hips since he hadn't grabbed the full size one but a midsize towel.

Now that she thought about it, she was quite sure she was always telling him that the big towels were on the bottom in the bathroom shelves (from smallest to biggest in descending order, of course). And now he was just a man, damp and half naked in his own kitchen. She could even see the dark hair collecting under his naval. She did try not to eye the towel too perversely.

"Shit!" Gil swore, just now remembering the circumstances of their situation. He pulled the towel more around his front and used his free hand for modesty's sake, pressing against the heavy cotton. "Sorry, hon, I wasn't thinking!"

Thena looked away graciously as her husband flustered as if he had committed some heinous crime. She wasn't sure what he had to be so embarrassed about. It was his home, and they were technically married. "It's okay, Gil."

"No, I'm sorry Thena, this isn't-" he sighed, reflexively moving to run his fingers through his hair before moving the hand to shield any potential exposure again. "I shouldn't-"

"It's fine," she repeated, feeling warmth rise in her face. Somewhere in her mind, the objective, factual knowledge that she and Gil were married connected with the feelings that she still harboured for him, whether her memories came back or not.

She knew he was attractive. She was so attracted to him that she had, in fact, married him. But until now she hadn't exactly had evidence of anything quite so...visceral. Her mind replayed the water slipping down his back, over his muscles. The way he had swiped at the coffee on his side and she'd gotten a peek of...something.

The elephant in the room, so to speak.

Gil cleared his throat, flushed quite red and shuffling backwards towards their bedroom. "Sorry, you finish your breakfast. I'll get dressed. We can talk about it later, if you want."

She just blinked at him, still captivated by the flex of his bare arms and the contrast of muscle and tummy under his thick pectorals. She wasn't fully gawping at him like a fish anymore but her mouth was still open. Her hand attempted to bring her fork back to her mouth, but all it did was float blindly in front of her until Gil disappeared from sight.

Only once he was gone did she realise what she had been doing. Poor Gil, of course he felt sheepish about it. She still didn't blame him for not thinking of it--he wasn't exposing himself to a stranger. But she did have to realise that she was indeed married to that.

It wasn't as if she hadn't considered it at all, of course--what their sex life had been like. The therapists and doctors had advised against intimacy until she felt ready and left it at that. Gil, the sweetheart that he was, hadn't brought up anything of the sort. The guest room was set up for her by the time she got home, her clothes in the closet and everything.

They had just barely become accustomed to a light kiss here and there. Public displays of affection still were not her strong suit. Affection in general, perhaps. She liked it, though--greeting him with a little kiss when he picked her up or sending him off to work with one.

Now all she could think about was that towel. She knew he was muscular. It was visible no matter his state of dress. But the muscles in his back, and his shoulders, and his arms. They were substantial; she felt as if she knew what it was like to hold them in her palms just by looking at them. What would it feel like to sink her nails into his back muscles...?

The clatter of her fork falling startled her. She rushed to pick it up, feeling embarrassed as if some unseen force were there to witness her lusting after the man she had already married. It was pointless to fantasize about things within her grasp.

Grasp.

"Thena?"

She nearly dropped the fork again but rushed to stand. A smile fixed itself on her face as she looked at Gil, now properly dressed for work with his hair at least somewhat brushed. "Hey."

"Hey," he uttered quietly, his whole body shrunken in on itself like a contrite child. He shuffled over to her, "sorry, again, for...you okay?"

She smiled more genuinely, dropping her fork on the counter again. Always so sweet, her husband. "Yes, Gil, there's nothing to fret over. I didn't see anything, if that's what concerns you."

That wasn't completely a lie, although maybe not the whole truth, either.

He blushed anyway, ruffling his freshly sorted hair. "Uh, well, I mean if you didn't--I should've realised."

Thena sighed through her nose, moving closer so she could stand on her toes and give him a little peck of a kiss. "I appreciate your concern, Gil. But I do not consider it a breach of my consent for you to walk around our home in whatever state you desire. Or need, I suppose, considering you're running late?"

The suggestion that he move on from the matter and resume his hurrying didn't work, though. He put his hand on her waist and gave her another soft - but still chaste - kiss. "This is more important."

She smiled, running her hands down his chest naturally as she lowered back to the heels of her feet. Her mind wandered to the image of said chest completely bare again. But she forced herself to remember the task at hand. "Consider it forgotten, if you like."

He finally seemed to relax a little as she cradled his hand between both of hers. "Okay, if you say so."

"I do," she confirmed for him before giving his hand a final pat. "Now, I believe you have to get to work?"

"Right, right," he sighed, kissing her one more time before dragging himself away. He grasped for his keys blindly. "I'll pick you up after I'm done?--groceries and then boba?"

She just nodded, waving back to him as he floated out the door. Gil always left like they were still in the midst of their honeymoon phase.

Thena looked back at her plate of remaining breakfast, then back at the door. She didn't feel she could focus on eating, after that. She wasn't sure if she would succeed in focusing on anything, if she were to be entirely honest with herself.

Really, though, she was married to a man like that, and she had no memory of it? It was a miracle she was still alive.

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