#does it make me cry because i feel so very lonely? also yes

[niallandtommo]

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[inbarfink]

Okay, so here’s the thing….

We are still at a very early point in the narrative of ‘Fionna and Cake’ and therefore at a very early point in Simon’s character arc. It’s pretty clear that “I need to become Ice King again” is not the end point by any meaning of the word. But I am wondering where we’re going to go with this, cause… The series has yet to really tackle how miserable Ice King himself was a lot of the time. And how often he hurt people. 

Like, yes, I was an advent advocates for 'trying to bring back Simon Petrikov was a really really Bad Idea on Betty's part, it was more healthy to focus on making sure Ice King was as happy and healthy and harmless as he could be', but I am also fully aware that he started the show being both extremely lonely and extremely sad and also a serial kidnapper who was very much a danger to those around him. And as much progress as he made during the show, getting Ice King to that point was a very serious struggle with a lot of backslidings and problems.

'Friends Forever' is, for example, an episode that stuck with me for a long time as a really heart-wrenching demonstration how even in that late stage, when he has buddies and people trying to seriously take care of him - Ice King was still very capable of seriously sabotaging his own relationships and hurting others and himself.

And it does make sense narratively that, like, characters like Astrid and Fionna and Cake, all of whom lack the full context of what Ice King's life was like (Fionna and Cake really just saw Simon at his worst and only got snippets of clips of Ice King and since Astrid was born after Humans came to Ooo that means she was also born after the events of ‘Come Along With Me’) all see Simon as a downgrade. Because they really don’t understand how bad Ice King was beforehand. 

And thus is does make sense that with Simon's current mental state, and how he is surrounded lately with these kinda people who never really knew Ice King and don’t really understand how terrible and miserable he could be, and now hearing that his ‘sanity’ just took away magic and whimsy from some else’s whole universe, and how it feels like the actual gods of the multiverse are telling him that he should be Ice King, that he's supposed to be Ice King....

It makes sense that he might start kinda... romanticizing that time in his life again. 

You know, the big thing about the outlook that Betty should’ve accepted Ice King as who he is rather than basically destroy herself to bring Simon back wasn't about whatever Ice King or Simon Petrikov were better or 'cooler' than the other. It was about, like, embracing change. Not obsessing about a past where things were ‘Better’ but seeing what is the best you can do with things as they are. Moving forwards.

And we all know how Simon feels about moving forwards right now…

And obviously that's a pretty bad mindset, even if it's understandable how he got there...

And honestly, if we do explicitly acknowledge that, hey! Ice King’s life was often just as much of a depressive spiral as Simon's is right now! There might be an element of… resignation in Simon’s decision. 

Because Simon's downward spiral since getting cured is not a demonstration that he was better off under the Ice Crown's curse.... But, to him, more a demonstration that he doesn't need the Crown to screw up his own life anymore.

‘Cause as both as Ice King and as good ol’ ‘sane’ Simon Petrikov he is just as capable of being lonely and depressed.

And just as capable of losing his own identity.

And just as capable of pushing his loved ones away and ruining his own life.

And just as capable of becoming a weirdo obsessive.

And just as capable of making little girls cry.

He even started kidnapping people again! That’s the Ice King Classic!

So on some level, maybe Simon is resigned to the fact he’s always going to be SOME sort of screwed up lonely sadman who hurts others. And if that is his fate, he might as well be the screwed up lonely sadman who is mostly oblivious to how sad he really is and can shoot ice from his fingertips. And his arc is going to be about realizing that, whether he is Ice King or Simon Petrikov, healing and change ARE always possible for him.

But we’re gonna have to see where it goes…

[fire-lizard-ro]

Bottom Dragon Dan Heng

Bet you didn't expect THIS, huh?

I feel like there's barely been HSR smut recently, so I did it myself. >:D))

CW: DP (technically in two holes- you'll see-), top reader, bottom character, non-human anatomy (for my dear Dan Heng), knots (Dan Heng's), fucking a hole you probably didn't expect me to say you're fucking, belly bulge and a tiiiiiny bit of cumflation~ <333 (like it's only a little bit of a bulge left over), mention of crying, hair/horn pulling, usage of the word "slut" exactly once, only a tiny mention of dirty talk (I'm now realizing I don't really do dialogue in these...)

GN reader.

Cock is interchangabe with strap and I mentioned that... And I say cum for the reader, but also mention that it can be fake cum for a strap.

You know I REALLY tried holding off so I could finish making myself write down all my Aeon stuff, but dragon Dan Heng is still very much so stuck in my mind.

So whoopsie here's yet another ramble session from Roro about nefarious things I think about this scaly bitch (affectionate).

So uh- This is written as x reader(s) because ye, but when I was having whore-knee thoughts it was more like I thought it up in a daydream of me somehow scoring Dan Heng, Blade, and Jing Yuan and watching those three have at it. hA-

A n y w a y s -

One of the only times I write top reader(s), lmfao. Since I prefer bottom reader content, but top reader is also smeggsy sometimes.

NSFW:

Okay so for this, you're gonna have to be two people sometimes, I guess foijeo- Maybe you and your bestie like sharing or something.

But like.... bottom dragon Dan Heng who gets fucked in the ass and has a cock/strap in his internal cock sheath thing. I mean- It is a slit... That just so happens to have two cocks in it... Just slide on in and make it three. This could also be only you fucking him this way while shoving a dildo/plug in his ass. But something about the idea of watching him get stretched out on two cocks that had been fucking him is hot.

Watch the way his belly bulges out from your thick cock and listen to how he sobs from the stretch he feels in both of his holes. Dan Heng would likely never admit it, but he loves it when you fuck his sheath- When you put yourself in the hole he had never considered before. It's already slick on the inside naturally to keep his cocks from chafing. And it's so tight from there being two cocks in there.

He was hesitant when you first brought it up, not having thought about it before and worrying that it would hurt or just not work out- After all, this was not a hole that was supposed to be fucked. But he was ultimately curious, as it is in his nature. At least I think. After all, he does manage the archives and seems to know a lot about various subjects.

But once he tries it? Fuck there's no going back from there. He was used to you shoving your tongue in there or even gliding fingers through the slick of his internal sheath and feeling around his cocks while they were inside... But this was a whole different ball game. His tail would be thumping against the bed while you gently finger the slit of his sheath's opening. One, two... then three and even four fingers. Just in case. You don't wanna hurt your pretty boy, after all. :((

Then you slick up the shaft of your dick/strap and ever-so-gently press the head inside along his two cocks that had popped out while you were fingering him. There's a gasp as he feels it stretch him out inside and he's panting while trying to get used to the new feeling.

But once he's adjusted and you've picked up the pace? He's letting out the prettiest choked out moans while you fold his legs up to his chest and fuck him hard, your hips slapping against his ass with every forward stroke. And he's likely whimper if you lean forward to mouth at those cute nipples of his. They look so lonely and nibble-able, you know? :((

(I am of the belief that EVERYONE deserves to have their nipples sucked. <333)

The way his tail twitches and spasms and even thrashes around from not being able to control it while he's getting fucked like a good, perfect slut- And then the way it wraps around your waist like he's trying to ground himself- Or maybe he's pulling you closer? Trying to get you deeper? God- Please tug on his tail, too. I'm not sure how well fucking his sheath from behind would work because of possible positioning of said sheath, but if you do? Please yank this man's tail to pull him back into your thrusts while you pin him down with a hand on the back of his head to shove him into the pillows. Better yet- Grip his hair, too, while you're at it. Or his horns/one of his horns. Use his horns to pull him into your hips as you make heavy thrusts into him.

And oh lord- When he cums? His knots and cocks swell which makes everything tighter and he's crying and writhing beneath you while calling out your name and pushing at your stomach because it's just too much- There's cum all over your belly and his and he looks so fucked out and his legs are shaking and his hips are jumping in little aborted thrusts to grind your cock inside him just a little more while he rides out his orgasm.

For my cock havers and my strap users (specifically those straps that you can use a pump with to pump stuff into your partner-):

I hope you can see my vision when I say he looks so pretty with cum squirting out of not only his dicks, but out of his shealth. The way his belly has a little bulge left over from how much you fucked into him- The way it squelches out from his slit, between his flagging cocks as they retreat into his internal pouch and more cum gushes out- And how he whimpers and whines and tears leak from his pretty eyes and he squirms while you push on his belly to force the cum out of his stuffed sheath.

It's just so pretty. :((

He's just so pretty. :((

Once again: I prefer top character and bottom reader stuff, but... Sometimes.... Ahaha- (If I were in that JingRenHeng poly relationship that I mentioned I was thinking of when I imagined this up, I'd love to watch those two do this to him... [screams])

I might have missed something/a few things because my mind was going wayyyyy faster than I can type (though I can type pretty fast...). So if I did and I remember later, I will put in an edit and post something to let people know it was added to.

I shall now go fucking die myself because who knew I'd be writing this and putting it where people can see it ahahahahfiosejg-

OH OH OH P.S. PLEASE TALK DIRTY TO HIM AND NIBBLE THOSE CUTE EARS OF HIS HE'LL GET SO RED THIS IS CANON TO ME.

[vhagarlovebot]

Hi!! I was wondering if you could write something for aegon along the lines of aemond and reader are married but bc aemond wants to give her space and “spare” her of his company and doesnt wanna scare her bc of his appearance and demeanor they dont talk at all and theyre like strangers, sort of like aemond thinks he’s doing the right thing by leaving her be but in reality she just wants to be loved by her husband and one day aegon finds her sobbing about aemond bc she just wants to be loved by him. Bc shes crying abt his “perfect” brother he feels better abt himself bc hes thinking “my brother isnt the perfect son” and so he decides to befriend her and they kind of bond over the fact that theyre both really lonely in kings landing. Ik this is probably rlly off for his character tbh so if you dont want to do it thats okay! Ik some ppl r really iffy abt writing abt aegon so if thats the case just ignore the ask im sorry to bother! But I love ur writing sm and hope u have a great day~

gwen’s note: i need to say this before writing your req because it is important to me. but i really think aegon, as well as many other characters from hotd, is very complex. however we can’t overlook the awful things he’s done, that’s why i think that the only way of writing him is by trying to understand from where it comes, why he is the way he is, etc. (but not defend him, never defend him for being a rapist) and diverge from his character. hotd writers made it really hard to sympathize with him given that the first scene they gave us of older aegon was THAT scene. and again, i would never defend aegon from what he did, that is inexcusable, it does not matter how much he suffered or how alone he feels, he should have never done that. that is why if i write aegon i would always try to get as close as possible to what i think of this complex character (just as i have been doing with aemond) and always have his feelings and experiences in mind, i will never minimize what he and everyone has been through. and bc in fanfic you can write whatever you want, i’ve been saying that since the beginning. aegon is not a good person but i believe that if they give him a chance, he would definitely try to be better. and i fully believe that aegon has a heart and deep down he cares, we see glimpses of that in the show. so after saying that, if i diverge from what the show has showed us about aegon or what YOU think about him, remember that everyone has their own opinions and if you don’t like them, be respectful and simply block me (this is not directed at you but to everyone in general). hope you enjoy! <3

crying in public was not a good idea, but being under the weirwood tree made you miss home.

“do you feel well?” a man’s voice startles you, and you are quick to wipe the tears still falling from your eyes, trying to pull yourself together before turning around.

you are surprised to see prince aegon standing a few feet away from you, genuine concern on his face.

you want very hard to say yes but you can’t say the words, so you just simply shake your head as more tears start falling from your eyes.

aegon doesn’t know what to do. he never knows what to do when someone cries in front of him, he’s not used to this kind of behavior. he can’t remember a time when someone from his family cried in front of him and he comforted them. or if they comforted him. because that never happened. so he doesn’t know if he should keep walking and leave you alone, or ask what’s happening. however, his legs are moving towards you before he can make a decision.

and you don’t know what to do. should you excuse yourself and run out of there? but your legs don’t move and your eyes can’t leave his face, lilac gaze studying your body, but not in a creepy and sexual way. it’s also the first time you and the prince are alone and you thought when that happened, you would feel uncomfortable, rumors fly fast inside and outside the red keep and prince aegon is the main protagonist in all of them. however you feel strangely calm.

“does this have to do with my brother?” aegon dares to ask. he knows your marriage is not an easy one, mostly because aemond is very cold towards you. he has seen you alone together just a couple of times and in all of them you’ve been looking sad and uncomfortable while his younger brother showed nothing with his expression.

it is sad to know prince aegon knows why you’re sad. does everyone in the red keep notice how unhappy you truly are?

aegon sits beside you, his hands on his lap as you move away making space for him on the little bench.

“i just feel so… alone.” you let your guard down, after all he is the one asking and you so desperately need someone to talk to, anyone, and if that person turns out to be the prince, then so be it.

aegon laughs bitterly, looking to his feet playing with a few leaves that had fallen from the tree. he knows that feeling too well, he has been feeling alone his whole life.

“and— and i can’t say anything to him because he doesn’t listen to me. it’s like i’m talking to a wall.” you sob, wiping your nose with the back of your hand.

prince aemond is your husband. but he’s also a total stranger too. you barely talk, he almost never looks at you and you haven’t consummate your marriage, something everyone is expecting for you to do. but how are you supposed to do it when he openly shows how much you bother him?

“i’m a burden to him!” you hide behind your palms, tears still falling from your eyes.

aegon feels a little better to know that his brother is stuck in a loveless marriage just like him. they might be very different but neither of them were able to escape from duty.

however, aegon feels something weird growing in his chest, something that doesn’t make him feel that much better. not while knowing that you’re hurting because of his brother.

aegon parts his lips, debating whether or not to say what he has not say to anyone. ever. because open up to someone is not something aegon targaryen has done before, he’s pretty good at hiding his feelings in a bottle of liquor. or a couple.

“i feel alone, too.” aegon looks for the right words but they don’t come to his mind and he feels very vulnerable. “i am a burden to everyone. my family. the servants. my own father doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

what the prince says is no surprise to you. you’ve heard the servants talking about the prince and how they wish to never be in the receiving end of one of his outbursts.

“see?” he says and you lift your gaze, turning to look at him, who is already looking with his lips curved in a small smile. “we have something in common! we’re not entirely alone.”

the kind gesture of prince aegon of trying to make you feel better is not something anyone would do, not in king’s landing at least, much less by saying something so personal. but it makes you smile through your tears.

it is strange, sitting on a bench with aegon targaryen, talking and being vulnerable. this definitely wasn’t on your list this morning when you woke up, but it is something you’re always going to remember.

“now,” aegon says, drawing out a handkerchief and holding it out to you. shyly, you accept it. “i am sure you miss home and i have nothing else to do… so why don’t you tell me everything i need to know about winterfell?”

your heart fills with pride and longing. and as you wipe your tears you start telling him about those cold and happy days of your childhood while prince aegon listens very closely.

[doofus-and-dragons]

This will more than likely be the last one of these I have. So, for the last time, here is my live reaction to the final season of TMA. These will be in no particular order because ice been listening to it over the span of a couple of weeks. I only listen to it at work.

TMA S5 Spoilers ahead

The cabin episode made me so sad. The eyepocolypse had even taken away their domestic bliss

I really don't remember the trenches that well. It's not a fear of mine, so it didn't shake me or stick well enough. Still good tho

The sickness episode sent me right back to senior year of highschool. I had to take a minute KXNSKXN

REVOLUTIONS WAS AMAZING I LOVED THE POETRY AND THE ACENGING OF SASHA BY KILLING NOT!SASHA. I love it.

At first I thought the worms was about Jane again but I was very wrong. It was a very interesting take!

Curiosity made me incredibly sad. I feel bad for Eric, Micheal, and Sarah(? Trinity? I don't remember. She was set on fire by a desolation avatar I think)

Also: Gertrude x Agnes perhaps???? Or at least solemn pinning? Maybe I just think it's slightly tragic to make it so and sometimes angst is good yknow?

Roots was ok, but the only part that stuck out to me was the jealous Martin scene. I listened to it like 3 times. I kept rewinding it just to list to it.

Fire Escape was SO good! It gave me a kind of manic energy as I listened to the descriptions of the fire.

Martin in the Lonely again made me cry. That's it.

"Who's this? Your boyfriend?" "Yes actually." "Oh...so is there anyway this doesn't end in me dead?"

The Basira and Daisy stuff actually did make me feel bad for Basira. Like, it's the apocalypse and she's having a whole ass crisis.

SALESA WAS INCREADIBLE

I wonder how he faked his death... man is talented and smart, I'll give him that

Skipping ahead to Martin's domain. Loved that. My boy isn't strictly human and I love that he can't deny that fact anymore.

Martin: Something something "one of you"

Jon, being a smug theater kid bastard boy: "One of us."

Like I heard that and I imagined him smirking ominously and gesturing with both his hands

He sounded so pleased that his boyfriend, as miniscule a role it had or that martin had, was like him, and I love that for him

I'm so glad Melanie and Georgie are happy. Though, the cult does weird me out (cults give me the heebie jeebies. It was a very nice touch!)

They deserve nice things.

Also, my favorite of the Cult members was Anil's character. I can't remember his name right off the top of my head, but he was wonderful. Anil did amazing with that little cameo/role

The scene where's he's arguing with Martin reminds me of that Jojo meme with jotoro and dio, but instead of stands they have their poetry clutched tight in their fists

"I dont need a poet." No, Jon, because you already have one. His name is Martin

Of course Jon gets trapped in the ocean when he doesn't have big string martin to row him out of it XD

SOMEWHERE ELSE SOMEWHERE ELSE SOMEWHERE ELSE

Annabelle Cane is wonderful, I'm so glad Jon didn't kill her. She's so chummy with Martin up until she has to be a dramatic villain and I love that for her!

The ladder episode made me grin like a maniac manly because I would be the Martin in that situation. I love the feeling of falling/floating, but I hate actually getting myself to fall. I physically can't do it. I can barely dive into the lake from my papaw's boat

Martin, there are thousands of fanfics that dive into you two getting together without the trauma. Don't even.

NO JON THE PLAN

Hey, real elias! That's where him being a stoner comes from! Because he is one! Nice.

I love og Elias, and I would protect him with my life I don't care.

Oh wait it was just Magnus dreaming

JON NO THE PLAN FUCKING HELL

I almost cried when Martin was yelling at Jon. The boys are fighting

THE KISS HOLY SHIT ALEX SAKD THEY WOULDNT KISS THEY KISSED AH

They're somewhere else being happy and domestic now you can't change my mind

[shshshquietnow]

Whumpees with powers controlled by their emotions. Maybe other than that they have controll, but when they feel a certain way their powers will NOT be tamed.

Whumpees that turn invisible on instinct when scared. Whumpers that find this endlessly amusing, using man handling and a lot of physical touch because they've "got to make up for the visual unappeal."

Shapeshifting whumpees can't control their forms when angry. Lashing out at whumpers as a large bear or wolf before being restrained, brought to a cage sense "They're so insistent on acting like an animal."

Whumpees with electric powers that get turned up to ten while in pain. Everything whumper does gives them an electric shock, making any torture or punishment very frustrating for the whumper. Even if whumpee can't control it, can't do it on purpose, even if they apologize a thousand times, they are still spurned, told that "they should know better than to try THAT little stunt again."

Empath whumpees that can't help but project their strong emotions. Whumpers having to step out of the room while torturing them, or whumpers that get the smug satisfaction of feeling a wave of relief as they walk back into the house to their whumpee. Of course no good things will happen when the whumper realizes what's going on, but that won't be for a while. Caretakers rattled by anxiety and fear so overwhelming they don't know what to do, holding whumpee too close or even running, scared they're going to hurt them all over again. But also caretakers crying tears of joy when they realize why they felt so good all day: they finally made whumpee feel safe.

Whumpees that grow armor when they feel threatened, whether that be crystals growing from their skin, or thorns or whatever else. On top of the pain of whatever whumper is about to do to them they have the pain of new material growing and pricking out of their skin. Whumpers that sigh, over compensating for the armor with the pain they cause because "You're over reacting, it's not going to be THAT bad."

Whumpees that have power over plants, flowers blooming when they feel safe and warm, withering when they're depressed or lonely. Whumper's garden never grew well, not until they broke whumpee in. And after rescue caretakers garden was rotted down to the soil, but as time went on their garden flourished, more beautiful than whumper's garden could ever be.

Whumpees that subconsciously control other people's powers, making them more or less powerful depending on how much whumpee trusted them. Whumper getting annoyed beyond belief after their powers STILL barely function, even after weeks of trying to manipulate whumpee to staying. Caretaker scared for whumpees life after a rescue, none of their healing powers working on whumpee because they don't trust that this rescue isn't another of whumper's tricks.

Whumpees that can only charm abd mind control when they're most desperate. Screaming first whumper to stop until finally right before the worst punishment they do, whumpers getting PISSED, continuing on once the enchantment wears off with new found rage because "you don't get to control me, I control you."

Whumpees with "Spider senses", knowing when whumper is approaching, feeling the tingle right before every new method of torture is used. Their senses going HAYWIRE when whumper is in the room, overwhelmed.

Whumpees letting out powerful bursts of kinetic energy when it gets too much, sending anything near them flying several feet away from them. Frustrating for whumper, sure, but even MORE dangerous for the caretaker trying to save the poor confused bomb waiting to go off.

Just yes <3

[gojosbf]

Hi...if you don't mind, can I ask something from Jujutsu Kaisen? What do you think are Gojo and Geto's greatest personality strengths and weaknesses? Why? What do you love about their dynamic? Sorry if you've answered these questions before.....

oh i haven't answered these before and i would love to, now:

1. Gojo

• Strength : since he always embodies the goofy unserious persona it's so easy for people to overlook how great of a person he is overall. He is very patient, has clear goal and motivation, continues to have trust and hope in people and is infact very caring and kind and emotional. Yes!! Most of his actions are emotionally fuelled from grief or love or both (like swearing to create new generation of strong sorcerers, a world where he'll never fail anyone again, where nobody will be left alone again). He grew so much since hidden inventory and premature death arc, he went from the cocky naive strong boy to intuitive kind protective man. He was under no obligation to take in megumi, to save yuuta, to save yuuji but he did. He knows that the people in power are corrupt and he knows he is capable of wiping them out if he wanted, but he wants to do everything the right way, he is constantly making sure that the kids don't go through the things he did. Knowing that your birth disrupted the balance of the world and now you bear the burden of maintaining it and still having the courage to laugh it off. The term strongest boils down his humane nature so much it makes me sad.

• Weakness : ironically the fact that he is the strongest is his main weakness, he cannot relate to people, it's hard for him to understand why they give up so easily or why something bothers them so much, it's not that he doesn't try to, he does but there is a very big gap between normal sorcerers around him and gojo satoru himself. This gap is also the reason why he is lonely, he craves human intimacy which is why he is continuously trying to bond with others but after geto he never really confined in anyone, he knows he has to be be to solve his own problems and he's not allowed to show vulnerability, being the strongest means you cannot slip up, the weight of world is on your shoulders, you cannot cry, you cannot lose your composure, you cannot be human anymore. (236 proves it even when in panels gojo says "even those who adored me did not understand me" something along the lines). The day gojo satoru feels truly loved and the day he doesn't have to bear so much responsibility alone, he'll break. He is literally that line "if I don't laugh I will cry" (okay that went off tangent but yeah, emotions. are his biggest weakness)

2. Geto

• Strength & Weakness : this is going to sound real twisted but geto's strength is how he pretends to be fine when he is not. this is both his strength and weakness. He is such a complex character actually because his strength are also his weaknesses, both of them go so well together. He has very strong morals and once he is set on them he won't budge, both a blessing and a curse, because that is how he helped gojo become the gojo satoru he is today but at the same time due this strength of his once he stepped into dark he never came back. His love and trust for his friends, there's nothing that will ever beat geto's loyalty towards his friends, again this is his strength right? it's supposed to be a good thing but that is exactly what causes his death too and even in his death he still remained loyal to jujutsu high, infact even after his death he remained loyal to gojo. He is soft hearted towards the innocent, again something that's supposed to be a strength but because of this character trait of his the death of riko, haibara and the incident with nanako and mimiko had such a huge effect on him. He is self reliable to fault, he doesn't want to be a burden to his friends so he never shares what's bothering him. He wants to make this world a better place for his loved ones and he'd do anything for it, even become their enemy. To talk about geto by separating his strength and weaknesses would be doing him injustice, every good thing he had within himself was what caused his doom and every part of his soul had to carry so much grief and remorse. both his strengths and weaknesses stand together on a very blurry line.

what i love about their dynamic so much is trust and loyalty, even when they are both on opposing sides gojo could trust on geto to not kill panda and inumaki and geto knew gojo trusted him so he couldn't kill them. geto wanted to make a world where gojo wouldn't have to carry all the responsibility alone (his other part reason), gojo wanted to create a world where no one will ever feel left alone again. they're both so similar yet so different, both of them took kids under their care and swore to protect them, the difference was one one did not care about anyone else except the people he loved and the other was looking out for everyone especially the people he loved. even after everything that went down between them there was no sign of hate, not even close, they understood each other, they might've not agreed with each other's method but they understood. they were probably the only ones to ever understand each other fully, soul deep. it's right person, right time but ill fate and cruel life.

[ryuichirou]

Hello! I’ve asked about shroudcest before but the recent influx of you posting about it inspired me to bother you about them again

(side note I absolutely love your human Ortho/Idia art)

I was curious what you think the impact of Idia being unable to turn Ortho down especially when Ortho starts crying would have on their relationship (sexually or otherwise) and if/how that translates over to human Ortho

Hope you have an excellent day/night!

Anon! We’re always happy to get more asks about Ortho and Idia, so thank you for providing. I’m sorry it took me so long to reply… And I’m also very happy you like our human!Ortho/Idia <3 Every Ortho is great Ortho!

I think that this is something that both human Ortho and AI Ortho share. The original Ortho always knew that he is Idia’s precious little brother and that even if Idia disagrees with him, he wouldn’t refuse him if Ortho got upset. Because Ortho being upset and crying is something that Idia absolutely hates. And while Ortho tries not to overuse this, he really knows that he has this advantage.

And while this wasn’t something that Idia programmed AI Ortho to do, I like to think that AI Ortho figured it out himself at some point. It wouldn’t be too difficult for him to notice that Idia always reacts when he gets upset, and since Idia is usually pretty stubborn, this is something that Ortho noted and learnt how to use quite quickly. Very cunning of Ortho, but also this is the type of thing when Idia looks at him and thinks “wow, he’s just like him”.

So yes, Idia is perfectly aware that he is being manipulated a lot of times, but he just can’t help but feel heartbroken when Ortho is upset because of him, so he enables this behavior strongly lol He spoils Ortho too much, be it the real one or the AI one.

Just like you said, Anon, it does affect the romantic/intimate side of their relationship, if they have one in the said universe. For starters, it’s usually Ortho who initiates things, and while it’s usually even better for Idia this way, because he is too embarrassed to take the initiative, sometimes he also gets manipulated into doing things he isn’t ready to do. Ortho is mindful, of course, but he is also quite capricious (the human one is maybe even more so capricious than the AI one) and demanding at times.

In other words, YES, Ortho does look at Idia with sad puppy eyes and even tears up (he can easily cry on cue, especially after joining the movie research club lol), when his niisan doesn’t want to kiss him, to touch him or to have sex with him. Especially when Ortho is feeling lonely or clingy… or horny. When Ortho’s horny, whether or not they’re going to have sex or at least make out, is not a question. And while Idia is too shy to admit that, he actually likes it this way.

Or, for example, when Idia plays videogames for too long and refuses to go to sleep and keeps saying that he’s “almost done”, Ortho also uses his clinginess to distract him and take the game away from him. Sometimes it’s easier to fluster Idia, to touch him, to pout all cutely, and then fuck him until he falls asleep than to reason with him.

…actually both the real Ortho and AI Ortho are going to use this tactic in a lot of situations lol

[weirdmageddon]

Crying I havent homestuck since i was 12 but reading your shit is like Anton Ego taking the first bite of ratatouille in Ratatouille. Haven't felt this emotion in a decade

Also what does bird clicky chest noise mean? I tried looking it up and all i got was bird pneumonia

omg yes that makes me so happy i’ll have to write more .. writing dave in particular is so fun

what jade meant by clicky chest noise was a certain noise crows make. crows do a lot more noises than just an abrasive “CAW” which probably wouldnt be nice to have right into your ear.

ive heard it called a rattle, a comb call (which i guess is because it sounds kind of like dragging your finger along a hair comb).. also chitters. and since davesprite doesnt have a beak the clicking noises would have to come from inside somehow. but i can make click sound in my throat with my mouth closed so maybe its something similar

scientists arent really sure exactly what the call means but crow enthusiasts who make friends with them in their yards say it’s a friendly, content, and intimate sound. this is a pretty apt description:

Some say these low-pitched rattling vocalizations sound metallic or mechanical, like a ratchet turning or the thrumming of spokes. This rattling noise is an intimate sound crows make to the closest members of their family. It's an intimate, familiar, friendly rattle I don't hear very often but when I do, I count myself lucky. It means that I've been allowed a little sample of the crow's most intimate and tender feelings, even if I'm only eavesdropping from afar. I've heard mated pairs making this sound to one another, especially in the springtime. Sometimes, I hear a lonely crow rattling to itself, almost as a self-soothing reflex or perhaps longing for a mate. Once, when its parents left to find food, I heard a baby crow try to cajole them back by rattling at them from the top of a tree. When crows are playing together, I've heard them rattle at one another and it sounds like they're sharing a friendly little joke.

some more examples from reddit:

https://www.reddit.com/r/crowbro/comments/13xsh0c/can_someone_help_me_id_these_sounds_happen_often/

https://www.reddit.com/r/crowbro/comments/15zdrpb/my_crowbro_approached_me_and_took_some_peanuts_to/ (at 2:00 in the video)

https://www.reddit.com/r/crowbro/comments/15tt8lc/chatty_little_babies/

subreddit name absolutely revelant btw rip earth 2009 dave wouldve loved r/crowbro and posted pics

[blurryfangirlansuke]

Now you maybe wondering that about me being absent one of them is college I can't control that it depends on my degree and planning what I want to do in my adult life. Also I want to get this out of my chest. I'm perfectly fine when people tell my obsession with Duke goes too far causing me to lose friends or just being all over a character that doesn't exist. I understand and I do apologize if I make feel people uncomfortable and when ask people if they can draw myself and Duke together they don't have to I make it very optional and I have plenty of other characters to simp for but Duke is #1 he'll always be. He's the reason why I'm being stable from being lonely and stress between reality and trying to become independent. It's not easy when your autistic and have social anxiety and learning different ways of how to do things. Duke is a comfort and I believe everyone should have a comfort character if not then perhaps your best friend or family .

Whenever I see a picture of Duke or art heck even gifts people draw for me it makes me touched and happy because I love this vampire and yes he's fictional but it's fun to simp and also appreciate the creator who put there heart and soul making characters to adore and even be interested with there stories and series.

Another thing I get so happy is when I commission the creator of the series Duke's plays the lead one along with Missi the vampire who tolerates him. The creator absolutely knows me so well and always spoils me with amazing commissions of me and Duke also she's close and appreciates fans like me for liking character such as Duke . Also buying loads of merchandise from the creator's store and main do I go buck while on everything worse then going to a barns and noble xD.

I am a busy person who gets free time and sometimes not so much. I'm working on my degree, learning the good and bad things in life even if I don't understand. I attend to also write my fanfics whenever I get the chance to take a break on drawing nonstop art of Duke. It also gives me ideas for myself if I ever want to make a character of my own and I know one day the character is going to be inspired by many artists I admire if you see what I usual post xD.

I have dreams of being with Duke in real life like he stays with me in my campus, we go for nightwalks, I lay in his coffin or king size bed and talk for hours. I wake up and he's not there with me. I know this feeling is loneliness which I'm use to since I have a hard time reaching out to people and the art I do might probably not spark interest. I miss my sister who's in college we have a great bond, I love my parents always support me, I have friends and fans online here that support me.

However I really wish I didn't feel this way. I know I attend to seek help with my advisors or talk to my sister it does help. I'm not normal and then okay because hey we all special and unique in our ways. Duke is fictional but he's my happiness and true comfort and I'll always love him even if I want to strangle him.

Yes I've been a little depressed and overwhelmed but that's life we have our good days and bad days. Crying does help me let everything out and start a better day. Eventually this blog will also get more hearts soon and also I have to be present for that to happen which I try. I appreciate you listening to me and I don't want end things sad especially since this is me and Duke's month so I made a healing art piece and color it about us. I really appreciate the support and love you all give me. This helps me to stay motivated and keep going. Don't worry I'll post more things and happy stuff. Letting this vent things pass.

Thank you for listening and much love you all Spooklings 🥰

[startingfires]

you're actually a huge inspiration to me hdhjghghjh. like I think of you as an example that things will be okay idk how to explain it like you've been through so much shit and you still have the warmest sunniest vibes yk? i think of you as my cool baddie internet older sister who used to have social anxiety as bad as me and also grew up on the internet but moved to a whole ass other continent to study something she didn't even like and still figured it out and finds so much joy in everything?? and I admire that so much you're my adulting role model tbh and also especially when it comes to social stuff because i feel like you're so chill about that (in a way that is actually realistic for someone like me because i will never relate to people who have only ever lived in one place their whole life and have never struggled with social anxiety and have their best friends where they live) and i aspire to get there. anyway love you bestie 💛

hello??????? kavya it's too early to make me cry 😭

this is the sweetest and loveliest message 🥺 i can't even begin to express how much this means to me.

the fact that you view me like that is so mind boggling to me. not to get deep and sappy on main but you opened the floodgates so now you must deal with the consequences.

i never viewed myself as someone who has "warm and sunny vibes" or who "finds joy in everything". that was definitely not me for a long long time. i never thought that that was someone i was able to be.

i was extremely sad, anxious, stressed, self-loathing and depressed for a very long time. i did not think i would ever be able to be where i am now. we met at the end of that phase of my life. i suppose things got better after i finished high school, then a bit better after i moved, then a bit better after meeting certain people and then a bit better after leaving physics behind (with therapy and medication being a big help through it all). i'm saying this because it takes time. it sucks to hear but it's true. i am not the same person i was at 12, 14, 17 or 19.

i feel like now that i've dealt with my baggage, i've reverted to my child self. i have never felt more connected to her actually. i used to be very happy, sunny, active, caring and kind as a young child. then shit happened and i had to find ways to cope. this led to me closing myself off, isolating and shielding myself from everything and everyone. my only comfort came from books and the internet. i did not have any friends, sometimes i felt like i was barely even alive.

now after leaving all of that behind and starting to live the life i actually want to live, i still don't have many friends and the internet is still my safe space. but the friends i do have are the best people i could ever ask for. they remind me of my worth and that i am loved. despite the distance that separates us, they prove to my younger self that she is not alone and that people who understand her and accept her for who she is exist. and they're pretty fucking cool.

i suppose the being "chill" about social stuff comes from maturing (and therapy lol). in the last couple of years i decided that the right people will find me, i do not need to settle for whoever is around just because. i can be me and if they don't like it then it's their loss. i don't need to mold myself into what i think they expect me to be or into what i think will make me be liked. i'm tired of doing that. i don't need to do that. i know that people that like me for me and that accept all of me with all of my flaws exist. and i don't need to try with them. they don't drain me. they fuel me to be more myself.

yes, it is lonely. and that does not mean that my social anxiety is gone, far from it. but it does make things easier. not settling also goes for all areas of life. you do not need to be in a situation that is not bringing you joy or fulfillment. you don't have to stick to it just because that's what you think people expect from you. the people who really care about you just want you to be happy. you are allowed to change your mind and make mistakes. it's scary but i promise you that it is so so worth it.

it is hard to relate to people who have lived in one place for their entire life and have had the same friends since they were little. it does make you wish that that could have been you. it makes you feel displaced and alone. especially if you have had to deal with that from a young age. sadly, i do not have the answer to that specific issue. but it is nice and comforting to find people who have had similar experiences, even if they're not geographically close to you.

i've been writing this for way too long so it's time to wrap it up.

kavya, you are wonderful. i admire your passion, your drive, your openness and how you are unapologetically you. thank you for being in my life for all of these years. it has been a joy to see you grow. you will forever be my tumblr younger sister 💛💛💛 thank you for being in my life, i love you.

[aengelren]

I’ve gotten this asked a couple of times, so I’ll pin it as an answer to why I love Eren so much.

Happy birthday, Eren

Pinned

A few years ago, I tried to convince my brother to watch Brooklyn nine nine. He told me he’d watch one episode in exchange of me watching an episode of Attack on titan. Reluctantly, I gave in, and the rest is history. The ups, downs, tears, laughter I’ve experienced with this story is beyond what I expected that night. But the thing I’ll hold most precious, is finding Eren: my favorite character of all time.

He’s so full of emotions and he expresses them so vividly, it made it hard not to feel for him. I was immediately beholden by him. From that very first episode. In shock over his strong morality, the questions he had about the world. About his existential view of it. “Life has no meaning? I’ll create my own.” How he felt so strongly about his rights, about being caged, but mostly, how he acted upon those thoughts. It was simply inspiring. Not the actions itself, but how he went through hell and back for his goals. With his will alone. He wasn’t made that way, or taught that was. It’s his very nature. “I’ve always been me…”

Does freedom have morality? I saw an Aot analysis asking this great question. Is Eren not free because his freedom doesn’t align with your definition of it? It doesn’t matter that I disagree with his view, it’s his. And his blatant pursuit for it makes him free. He’s never been held back by authority, fear. While other people run from titans, Eren hurls himself towards them. Whereas a “normal” human usually has to fight to keep going, Eren always fights to hold back. He’s in a constant state of wanting to go all out, a maximalist. He learns to control his urges, to embrace his destructive nature and go after his desires. Even though he KNOWS they are wrong. But they feel right for him, so he’ll do it. He cries for his victims, yet he still kills them. He never denies being a monster, like Levi said in s1, “he can’t be caged. He will never submit to anyone.” Imagine being so free that no amount of destruction or judgment can change the path you want to follow. Having thousands of years worth of pain impose your brain in form of memories, messes you up. But even with all that, he kept moving forward. Making his limited time alive account for something instead of sitting back, accepting fate. Following the battle of Eren vs himself, exploring his hypocritical, contradicting, sympathetic mind, has been an absolute pleasure. I don’t think you can learn enough.

You know how you wish you didn’t care about what people thought of you? Or social norms? He never did. Even from a young age. The way his mind works and how he never shy’s away from his beliefs. There are many parts of Eren I look up to. Like how he’s always a raw version of himself. There are also many traits of his that I relate to. His anger, grief, his self hatred. The part I can’t relate to is the sheer willpower he has. Eren is a literal physical manifestation of pursuing his will. Not naturally intelligent like Armin, not physically strong like Mikasa. He moves forward, alone, only through the strength of his mind. He grew up in a loving home, yet killed ruthlessly as a kid. It’s the ultimate discussion about Nature vs nurture. I know he helped a lot of people like he did with me, the level of nuances are insane and there’s tons to discuss. But I just wanted to talk a bit about why i love him so much, even if it’s just for myself. One thing that i know many of us can relate to is how lonely Eren felt through his hardest times. Yes, he was surrounded by people but no one ever asked him what was wrong, even though he had visibly changed. And even though being alone is “what he wanted, we all know he wouldn’t mind a shoulder to cry on. Everyone has a limit. (My love for him is limitless.) There’s nothing I don’t appreciate about his character. Happy birthday, Eren ♡

[kandisheek]

FIC REC WEEK 1 – STONY FAVORITES

Love Bites by cowboyhorsegirl

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 3,147 Tags: Getting Together, Body Worship, Domestic Bliss

Summary: Five ways Steve has bitten or has wanted to bite Tony.

Reasons why I love it: A collection of time stamps of their developing relationship that feel very real and make my heart melt every time I read this fic. Steve's characterization in this is especially amazing, the way his developing feelings for Tony are conveyed with so few words is really great. Some parts of the fic are hot as hell and others will give you cavities, they're so sweet. Smut, fluff, angst, this one has it all!

Falling Backwards (Till it Turns Me Inside Out) by Aeraneth

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 5,706 Tags: Villain Steve Rogers (kind of), Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Divergence

Summary: It’s Nomad against the Avengers, a Hydra patch on his shoulder, a gun pointed at Iron Man’s head, and a doomsday machine running down the clock behind him. He’s the only one standing in the way of them saving the world. Steve doesn’t know how he got here.

Reasons why I love it: This one is so criminally underrated, it makes me want to cry. Not only does Aeraneth absolutely nail the tone, they also used a really cool format wherein the story is told backwards, kind of Memento-style. It works beautifully, and the plot along with the Stony in it is just absolutely delicious. Definitely a must-read if you like angsty fics with a happy ending!

In the mood for a melody by BladeoftheNebula

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 1,858 Tags: Space AU, Soulmates, Meet-Cute

Summary: Another day, another lonely night in space port. Weary traveller Tony meets his destiny in a quaint little bar on Manhatta.

Reasons why I love it: This fic combines so many things I love (which makes sense, because Neb graciously wrote it for me, hurhurhur) – aliens, musician Steve, incredible world building, so many little jokes and touches that really bring the world together. Add to that soulmates and a nod to future tentacle fun, and you get one very happy Kandi. I love this fic so much, so please go read it and give it some love!

Try To Remember by Last_Chance_Anna

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: M Words: 8,884 Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Grief, Mother's Day

Summary: Steve starts thinking about his mom as Mother's Day approaches. Tony helps him through it. Two chapters of love and support.

Reasons why I love it: Steve's pain here is so visceral and heart-breaking, and Tony as the supportive boyfriend just warms my soul. I love Sarah Rogers as a character, and seeing a fic that so lovingly commemorates her is amazing. Definitely a must read!

In Our Arms by tinystark616

Pairing: Steve/Tony, Steve/Armor/Tony Rating: E Words: 2,594 Tags: Armor Kink, Anal Sex, Threesome

Summary: Having a threesome with Mark 42 was Tony's idea. Of course, he enjoys watching Steve with the suit more than he thought he would.

Reasons why I love it: Armor porn? Fuck yes. This fic is not only scorchingly hot, but I really love the fact that Tony can see not just his outside point of view but also what the armor sees as it's fucking Steve. It's the perfect mix of smut and sweetness. Give this fic a read if you like incredible armor fondueing!

[tanmono]

GILBERT VON OBSIDIAN MAIN ROUTE....

CHAPTER ELEVEN.

translations are not 100% accurate. expect mistakes.

minors and ageless blogs dni.

The moon hides behind thick clouds and the night swallows everything.

The sacred chapel, which was not illuminated, was painted black, shadowing the figures that were also there.

Gilbert: ——How did it go?

???: No problem. Everyone is waiting for your signal.

Gilbert: Hehe, well done. But don't move yet, okay?

Gilbert: Because the final judgment has not yet been made.

???: When will it be taken down?

Gilbert: Depends on my mood.

???: You….

Gilbert: I’ll have to make the decision soon, huh?

???:…Yes.

Gilbert: By the way, have you found your avenger?

The moment he broaches the subject, the sacred air trembles violently in response to his passion.

Gilbert: You couldn’t find them?

???: I’ve been looking into various documents from that time.

Gilbert: You could have just asked me.

???: What if you've been heard, you idiot?

Gilbert: I think you worry too much.

???:….You knew about it in the first place, didn't you?

Gilbert: What do you think? Even if I did know, I wouldn't tell you.

???: Why not?

Gilbert: Revenge must be taken with your own hands, right?

Gilbert: And even if I told you, you probably wouldn't believe me.

???:…..?

Gilbert: Hehe, I don't mind if I help you out just a little.

Gilbert: You did exactly what I wanted this time, so I should at least reward you.

???:……

Gilbert: Just be careful. Once you get to the bottom of it, your trump card won't work.

???: I ain't gonna screw up like that.

Gilbert: I can see that too. You're the kid I trained you after all.

???: Yeah, for sure……

???: I swear to God, I will definitely kill you.

Gilbert:…Hehe. This will make the little rabbit cry.

Gilbert: Violence is what the beast does, apparently. So, let me ask you something. Are you going to have a communication?

???:….If I can avenge my enemies, I will become a beast as much as I can.

He says as if to spit out his words, and his footsteps fade away.

The chapel door opened and closed, leaving the lone beast in silence .

Gilbert:……

His smile disappeared and then— his rough breathing was absorbed into the silence of the chapel.

Sariel: We're in a lot of trouble.

Emma: What happened?

Gilbert: Do you need me to counsel you?

Sariel: Oh, that is a very tempting proposition.

Sariel: Then, Prince Gilbert, I'm terribly sorry, but could you please leave for a while?

Gilbert: I'll think about it with little rabbit.

Sariel: There is something I want Emma to do…..

Gilbert: Is she going to be busy? If it's hard work, then as her friend, I should help her.

Sariel:………

Gilbert:…..Right?

(The atmosphere is getting worse….!)

Sariel's eyebrows twitch, and Prince Gilbert greets him with a smile.

Emma: W…What do you want me to do?

My bright voice that blew away the tense air brought Sariel back to himself.

Sariel: Soon, an important day will come for our country.

Emma: Important…..

Emma:.....Ah, it's that time of the year already.

Gilbert: Eh, what?

Emma: The White Rose Festival.

Emma: Touching the memories of our ancestors and other dead...

Emma: It's an important festival where people who are living in the present put their wishes into words.

On the night of the festival, numerous candles and decorated white roses created a fantastic sight that attracts many people.

It is a lively festival that has existed since ancient times, where everyone thinks of a wish and puts their feelings into a white rose.

(I've attended every year since I was a kid. but......)

Gilbert: Heeh....there’s a custom-made festival at the right time.

(The way he put it, Prince Gilbert seems to have noticed.)

In recent years, the White Rose Festival has taken on a different meaning than it did in the past.

Sariel: Do you understand why I don't want Prince Gilbert to be involved?

Ten years ago, the big incident where Obsidian suddenly invaded the Rhodolite and dyed the roses with blood.

It coincides perfectly with the time of the White Rose Festival.

Due to the nature of the festival, touching the memories of the dead, including ancestors.

Recent celebrations are not just about offering wishes,

It has become possible to see such a trend of mourning and grieving for the dead.

Sariel: Since this year marks the 10th anniversary, a memorial service will also be held.

Sariel: It's such an important day for us.

Gilbert: Heeh.

Sariel:.....The White Rose Festival will be a national event and we need Emma’s help...

Gilbert: Am I in the way?

Sariel: I am simply asking you to refrain from doing so.

Sariel: The White Rose Festival and the Obsidian royalty just don't go together too well.

Sariel: At any rate, we have yet to receive an apology from your country for the invasion of 10 years ago......

Gilbert: Oh, is that so? I thought we gave you compensation.

Sariel: The messenger has arrived. But there were no members of the royal family at present.

Gilbert: His Majesty doesn't know how to bow down. Just paying reparations counts as an apology to him.

Sariel: Logically speaking, it doesn’t work in our country.

Gilbert: Then I guess we'll never understand each other.

(…….)

Sariel:.......Even just the long stay of Prince Gilbert has caused anxiety among many of our people.

Sariel: Please, until the celebration is over, can you stay away from Emma?

Gilbert: No way. Why should I be considerate of your circumstances?

Sariel:...Yes, yes. I knew you would say that.

(That's what got me into trouble.)

The Obsidian royal family is involved in the celebration of the White Rose festival, which commemorates the dead on the bloodstained rose day.

The meaning is so heavy that it wouldn't be strange if it were engraved in history.

(......I'm sure we’ll get more backlash than we’ve ever gotten before.)

Not only to Prince Gilbert, but even more to the young lady who is close to the Obsidian royal family.

There should be a lot of cold entanglement.

Gilbert: There's nothing wrong with that, is there? I haven’t heard about a rule that says the Obsidian royalty can't participate.

Sariel: Then, are you going to pay your respects?

Gilbert: As long as it's just a heartless form.

Sariel:…….

Sariel: Ordering the invasion with words of remembrance...that's what the country of Obsidian is.

Sariel: We are far from peace.

Gilbert: Our emperor hates peace.

(In other words...you’ll help me, but the country has no intention of letting you get involved in the White Rose Festival.)

Prince Gilbert's decision may be an act of pouring oil on a fire that has been smoldering for ten years.

(But….)

Emma: I would be very glad to have your assistance, Prince Gilbert.

Sariel:..You must be joking. He’ll be far from helping you, and you're going to stand on the edge of a needle, are you not?

Emma: I'm prepared for it // I’m aware of it.

Emma: Because in the eyes of those who don't know anything, Prince Gilbert's help may seem like a symbol of peace.

One in which the Obsidian royalty cooperates more with the White Rose Festival — a compromise, depending on one's point of view.

For the past decade, Obsidian has been silent.

Without an apology, we had to live in constant fear of invasion,

There may be a certain number of people who would be relieved if it were a fleeting illusion.

Gilbert: Unlike some bureaucrats, you know how to use me, don't you?

A cold hand is placed on my shoulder, and in response, a deep crease is carved between Sariel’s eyebrows.

(….He must be worried about me.)

As long as I am Belle, it is inevitable that I will have to help the princes who spend their time preparing for the celebration of their own rose.

There is also no way to avoid Prince Gilbert, who naturally follows us.

(…..Then we have to think positively now.)

Emma: First of all, I would say no, but you're going to be overbearing, aren't you?

Gilbert: You're going to make me?

Emma: If you're willing to help us, it would be a shame to hold back!

Gilbert: Ahaha, my usage fee is expensive, you know?

Emma: I'll use the friendship price there, please.

Gilbert: It can't be helped. Only because little rabbit is special, okay?

Sariel:......sighs, I understand.

Sariel's sigh was laced with bitterness.

Sariel: Emma, please don't overdo it. Report all problems, even the minor ones to me.

Sariel: Do I make myself clear?

Emma: Yes! Please leave Prince Gilbert to me.

(And I responded with great vigor, but.....)

I quietly stole a glance at Prince Gilbert who was walking next to me.

His fresh smile did not falter as he left Sariel's office.

(.....I have no idea what you are thinking.)

Gilbert: What, if there's something you want to ask, feel free to tell me, okay?

As expected, my gaze was so distracting that Prince Gilbert stopped in his tracks.

(Just in time. I want to clarify one thing before we get to the white rose festival.)

Emma: Prince Gilbert….

I hesitate for a moment, afraid to ask.

Emma:…..Ten years ago, on the bloodstained rose day, were you standing on the battlefield?

(I have yet to hear of one.)

(…..Prince Gilbert does know about the bloodstained rose day.)

Gilbert: Do you know that I am called "the marshal of victory"?

Emma: I know.

Gilbert: Then you know what I'm talking about, don't you?

(“Ever victorious" means always winning.)

(....But the bloodstained rose day ultimately ended in victory for Rhodolite.)

That can mean only one thing.

Emma: You weren't on the battlefield.

Gilbert: If you ask me if I was there or not, I would say yes.

Gilbert: But I wasn’t in charge. I went to see it in private.

Emma:….Private?

Gilbert: Yes. I was planning to invade Rhodolite someday, so I was just prepping for that.

(At times like this, I'm reminded that Prince Gilbert was never on our side.)

He may look friendly, but deep inside, he’s absolutely evil.

The answer should have been obvious, but my chest creaked.

Gilbert: At the time, it was the Supreme Commander of the Armed Forces who was in command.

Emma: In a moment, the Supreme Division...

Gilbert: It was the emperor.

Emma:……..

Gilbert: And then we lost. It's almost embarrassing.

Gilbert: What he did was not a war, it was just a massacre with no outcome.

Gilbert: It was repulsive to watch. Especially if you're from Rhodolite, right?

(The bloodstained rose day doesn't seem to be a good memory for Prince Gilbert.)

Even the events that had happened doesn’t change, that may be the only salvation.

Gilbert: Oh, and for the record, I'm just as guilty as you are.

As if he could see right through me, he nailed it.

Gilbert: I knew of the emperor's invasion and did not stop him. After all, I am on the perpetrator's side.

Gilbert: I have no right to mourn the dead. The White Rose festival is just a festival to me.

Emma:…I understand.

Gilbert: Really? you should have expected it now.

Gilbert: I wish I had been more convenient for you.

Emma: That's not...

Gilbert: I don’t like lies.

(....I'm such an idiot.)

It would be nice if the bloodstained rose day and Prince Gilbert were unrelated…..

If he asked me that I didn't think so, it would be a lie.

I didn't know why I had such strange expectations.

(Don’t turn away from reality.)

Emma:......I am well aware that Prince Gilbert is an enemy of Rhodolite.

Gilbert: Hehe, that’s true.

Emma: So why didn't the ever-victorious "marshal" participated in the war?

Gilbert: Well... it's going to be a national secret, but do you want to know?

━━FLASHBACK━━

Gilbert: At Obsidian, we have an unspoken agreement that if anyone finds out our biggest secret, we kill them without question...

━━FLASHBACK ENDS━━

I shook my head, and Prince Gilbert shrugged his shoulders humorously.

Gilbert: But I think it was a very unfortunate blessing for Rhodolite.

Gilbert: If I'd gone off to war, the map would have been rewritten by now.

Emma:...Rhodolite is not a country that can be conquered so easily.

Gilbert: Haha, is that so?

Gilbert: But it's a correct evaluation. Our emperor misjudged the power of a small country.

Gilbert: I'd be too embarrassed to go back to my own country if i withdraw without any success.

Emma:………

(Prince Gilbert seems to have the confidence of being an "ever-victorious".)

If Prince Gilbert were to really bare his fangs on Rhodolite…..

I didn't want to think beyond that.

(I wish you were on my side.)

Gilbert: Instead, you need to focus on the task at hand.

Gilbert: Let's work together to prepare for the festival, shall we?

Leon, Yves and Licht:……

Gilbert:………

Jin:…This is one hell of an air.

(Oh, I feel like I'm getting crushed...)

My first stop was to help with the White Rose Festival,

It was a regular meeting of the executive committee, formed by the leading members of the domestic policy faction.

The situation is a mouthful to say with the friendly atmosphere…..

Everyone here was staring at Prince Gilbert who was sitting on his seat with his casual face.

(There was a similar scene before, but when a person like him appears, the tension is different.)

Prince Gilbert doesn't seem to care even if he is skewered by a sharp gaze that seems to pierce him.

Gilbert: Why don't you just start the meeting? Or is this a gathering of leisure people?

Leon: Lord Gilbert, you knew this was coming, didn't you?

Gilbert: I have no obligation to take your personal feelings into consideration.

Gilbert: I just want to help her.

Prince Gilbert smiled at me affectionately, and all at once the brunt has changed.

(Those looks alone is enough to freeze my heart.)

Gilbert: My….little rabbit, they don’t seem to welcome you.

Gilbert: I feel sorry for you. But don't worry, I'm on your side.

The more gentle his voice becomes, the lower the ambient temperature.

The long-winded kindness reshaped my world as usual.

(…Don't get discouraged here.)

━━FLASHBACK━━

Emma: I don't want to worry Rio and Luke, and I don't want to run away from Prince Gilbert either.

Emma: That's why... I'll start by undoing the "cold world" created by Prince Gilbert.

Luke: And how will you do that?

Emma: Of course, through communications.

━━FLASHBACK ENDS━━

Accept all the hostility and clench my fists.

I never want to just slump down and run away from their gaze.

Emma: Prince Gilbert will be assisting us with the White Rose Festival.

Yves: I-I see….

Licht: What a nerve wracking.

Jin: Oi, he’s our guest of honor.

(Even the princes doesn’t seem to agree about this either.)

(…It is painfully obvious.)

Emma: Of course, I know it's not easy.

Emma: And I guess I am not qualified to say anything if I don't know much about the bloodstained rose day.

Emma: But this is the only way….

Don't run away, but make eye contact with each one of them.

Emma: I wish for an everlasting peace of rhodolite.

Emma: For this reason, it is important to make Prince Gilbert aware of the pain through the celebration.

Emma: I believe this is an important step toward the future.

Leon and Yves:…….

Emma: We can't build peace if we keep turning our backs on each other.

Emma: I would like to fill in the cracks as much as possible.

Licht and Jin:…….

(….Not a single response.)

Apparently, my honest feelings sounded like "beautiful words". // Apparently, my honest feelings sounded too naïve.

Bureaucrat:…..Prince Leon.

After a long silence, the first person to open his mouth was a man with a familiar face.

━━FLASHBACK━━

Bureaucrat: Don’t touch—!

━━FLASHBACK ENDS━━

Bureaucrat: I'm sorry... may I be excused from the meeting today?

Bureaucrat:….I can’t stand it.

Bureaucrat: No matter what...my wife's face comes to mind.

(…..)

Leon: Of course.

Leon nods briefly and the man left the room without looking at him.

The swirling emotions were there for all to see.

(I knew it was coming…..the gulf is just too deep.)

━━FLASHBACK━━

Emma: Originally, my daily life was filled with the kindness of people. Malice was the last thing on my mind.

Emma: So we will change the current situation through communications, and this time I will drag Prince Gilbert into it.

━━FLASHBACK ENDS━━

(Really, how is that possible?)

Gilbert: Hehe…

In this situation, only Prince Gilbert laughs.

It was as if he knew this would happen from the beginning.

Gilbert: Communication alone does not change people's values.

Gilbert: Of course things could change, but that would be a huge, world-changing feat.

Gilbert: You have no power to change the world. Don't be so cocky.

(……)

Gilbert: I wonder how long the little rabbit can keep dreaming......?

To the mean little rabbit.

I did read your response to me. Thank you.

However…I can't believe you want to know about my relationship with Yves Kloss….

I didn't expect you to ask me about the other man, so I decided to be mean.

You want my help at the white rose festival, don’t you…?

However, since you asked, I will tell you.

The Kloss family is my mother’s family.

I'm sure you're aware of this, but that guy you're so close with is my cousin.

A genuinely noble family.

Even in Obsidian, there were high ranking families, but as I said before, there were an overwhelming number of people who thought that those above them were allowed to do whatever they wanted to those below them.

That's why I hate people of that bloodline. Regardless of their character.

Now. Naughty little rabbit. Next time, don't put the other man's name in the letter, okay?

I'm the only one you should be concerned about. — Gilbert von Obsidian.

 ▸       [  previous / next ]

[winns-stuff]

LO RANT:

I’m gonna say this cause I’ve been seeing a lot of Minthe edits and finally understanding more and more of her perspective. Persephone is a homewrecker, absolute homewrecker and if this was anyone else the fans would’ve thrown a tantrum because why is it Persephone can get away with knowingly accepting affection, gifts, money, clothes, and even a phone from Hades but Minthe is shamed for also receiving things such as that.

It’s just so annoying and incredibly incompetent to me how they literally do the same things all the damn time yet everyone loves Persephone. Me personally, I hate her with all of my heart I truly believe that she’s very malicious and self serving at the end of the day. She reminds me of those villains targeting old lonely vulnerable rich men all for their money while trying to mask their behavior behind a sweet innocent character…. Oh wait. She’s literally doing just that, like always she’s doing shit like that. She literally took money out of Hades’ account for an apartment without even asking, yes you can argue that they discussed about Persephone moving out but that doesn’t just give someone the okay to take their money and run with it to buy stuff you want. She’s always being a huge extreme brat and it really makes me feel like Demeter is a victim of her damn behavior (I’ve always thought this but it just gives me more reason for it now) because how the hell are you going to get upset at your mother for coddling you when you accept and even welcome being babied by everyone around you. This whole independency thing falls through the floor when you realize that Persephone doesn’t want any independence, all she wants is to be able to get away with things she does and obviously Demeter was more strict with her (unlike Hades) so she couldn’t necessarily do anything without being watched.

I genuinely feel for Minthe, not her actions but her mental state had to be breaking apart with every single day and those two assholes just made it worse. Persephone was always aware that Minthe and Hades were together yet she still allowed herself to be seen publicly with him, she allowed him to get physical, and she didn’t mind kissing him right after they broke up. She was obviously waiting for them to break up to do more bold moves just to spite Minthe and she didn’t even care about how she would feel. I get that you’re jealous that Hades is giving his money away to someone who wasn’t you but that doesn’t mean that you could basically start seeing him and playing fucking house right in the office that she works in. That’s trifling as fuck and I’d be pissed too because not only are you embarrassing me in front of Persephone by showing her that I’m not worth any dignity or respect but you’re embarrassing me in my own workplace as well, you just know that the assistants and other staff members were spreading it around like wild fire and that had to be so stressful to deal with.

Speaking of that actually, fuck Persephone for that because she keeps whining and crying about how rumors made everyone at her college not want to speak with her yet she’s completely fine with doing things that actively ruin Minthe’s reputation and make her a spectacle for everyone to see. That’s one of the main reasons why I don’t feel any sympathy for her and I don’t see why so many people are so keen on protecting her, she’s really not shit and she’s genuinely a terrible person and we all know that if she were a real person no one would like her at all. At least Minthe had a reason for asking Hades for money, she literally only had him to rely on since he insisted on paying for everything and giving her a job, there was an obvious dependency on Hades that he started his damn self (which I have no idea why he thought trapping Minthe into this relationship she never even wanted in the first place would ensure not only a good relationship but a good marriage as well, like you made her lose her job which was the only thing keeping her from getting evicted and he knew it, his job was the only thing keeping her afloat and knowing Hades I just know he paid for the rent by himself cause that’s just how he is, he did the same with Persephone when they went shopping he insisted on buying things for her and spending money, it’s not insane to think that he did the same thing with Minthe’s apartment and her bills) what’s Persephone’s excuse of sticking around Hades and receiving money and gifts from him? She’s incredibly privileged and the heiress to a whole company if she wanted to actually be independent and get a job of her own she could’ve. She’s not like Minthe, she has lots of powerful connections whereas Minthe only had Hades, so she just enjoys being spoiled and she chooses to use only Hades’ money for the things she wants.

Last thing, but I find it incredibly telling that Hades was never truly there for Minthe emotionally. He only wanted to be there when he wanted something from her, never not once did he stand up for her or show her off half as much as he does with Persephone. He’s loud and open about his relationship with her while we barely even see praise coming from Hades and Minthe, it was almost as if he was embarrassed to be with her similar to what the comic wanted us to think with Minthe’s introduction. He listened to Hera bag on his girlfriend even before Persephone was in the picture for probably centuries and never did he ever say anything about it. He’s fucking friends with her! He’s friends and completely fine with everyone who has ever said something bad about Minthe and he doesn’t even care about all the things they said about her. And you expect me to be on their side? After everything you’ve shown us, I’m supposed to be happy that HxP are the only people getting happy endings and no one else that they screwed over to get there? Absolutely the fuck not.

That’s the end of this rant, I’m tired and incredibly irritated with the main couple they make me want to eat my own scalp. It’s so annoying how everyone lets them get away with anything yet Minthe and her fans are just evil for even having a shred of sympathy for her, like y’all stan a murderer and a slave owner. There’s no right choices.

[putschki1969]

Uta-Net Lyric Essay Part 1

In commemoration of the release of her 3rd original studio album “Sono Saki e”, Wakana has been invited to write three lyric essays for the song column of “Uta-Net”. Part 1 has already been posted. You can read the essay on the website. There’s also an audio recording provided, be sure to check it out!

Hello everyone. Nice to meet you, I'm Wakana. This is the first time I am allowed to write a lyric essay like this. I would be happy if you could learn a little more about myself and the music I make. First of all, let me tell you about the trajectory of my music career. For 10 years until 2018, I was active in a group called Kalafina, and after that, I started my solo activities. Since then it's already been 4 years. At the time of my solo debut, there were so many things I had never experienced, everything felt new and quite exciting but there were also many days when I felt incredibly uneasy and overwhelmed because I had reached a point where I was very unfamiliar with the territory. All my past experiences, everything I had seen and done up until that point, it should have made me stronger and able to deal with those new challenges but for some reason, I was unable to fall back on any of those skills so I couldn't make the most of them. Adding to these worries, life threw yet another curve ball when the 2020 pandemic happened. All of that really made me reflect carefully on myself and my capabilities.

Yes, I thought a lot about singing and asked myself all sorts of questions. Why am I so obsessed with the act of singing? Why does it feel like I have hit rock-bottom even though I love singing so much? What type of music can I be satisfied with? What kind of singing voice can I be happy with? Personally speaking, when I listen to someone's music, I am very intrigued by their "voice". How did they develop this singing voice? How is it even possible to express such things with a singing voice? How can such techniques be implemented? Surely, there must have been a lot of trial and error before finding that particular “voice”. The more I think about these things, the more I am fascinated by the voice of an artist. And it makes me want to learn more about my own voice. When the state of emergency was declared, I just kept singing at home, practicing the tracks from my 2nd album "magic moment" which had just been released at that time, and all my thoughts going to the concerts which ultimately never happened. It’s always up to yourself to decide where your limits are. There is no point to life when you just end up being focused on the things you can't do. I want to be someone who always strives to become a better version of myself.

It's been 3 years since I’ve dealt with such thoughts. All of this has led to the completion of my 3rd album "Sono Saki e". "Butterfly Dream", the first track of this album, is a song I would not have been able to sing three years ago. The melody is hopeful and light but at times, it conceals a lonely disquiet. Back then I would have been uncomfortable singing about a mixture of hope and frustration when it so obviously reflected the upheaval in my own heart. People shine brightest when they can turn their fears and anxieties into aspirations. So when I first received the demo tape for this song, I turned the feelings encompassed in the melody into a yearning. And then I wrote the lyrics to reflect said feelings. It’s a cute and fantastical story which actually hides a small fear. I wanted this message to be used for the beginning of the album.

What do you want most right now? I would like to continue pursuing music while staying true to my aspirations and repeatedly asking myself what I want in regard to singing. I will never forget about my past self who was overwhelmed and crying, I believe it is important to carry those memories with me. 

All right, I will end the first part of my lyric essay here. Until next time.