#does she also have this phobia

[arcsin27]

I think the lady in the tweet is right for this. I have an alcohol phobia

This tweet is just... Odd. Very odd.

Like... You live like this? You write like this? You think like this??

[rigginsstreet]

sometimes i'll be watching a video or reading up about a certain mental illness from people living with it and im like "oh some of these things are hitting..." but not to an extent that it debilitates my life? but also it feels like its certainly happening more than it should for like normal people lmao and i can never tell if these are just symptoms of my anxiety that cause certain feelings to be heightened or if theres something else going on

[merkerlerspeaks]

Zodi/Celeste/Raine is somehow both my baby and also the girl my inner little weird girl looks up to so much she adopts parts of her as her personality

[leeloooonfire]

based on this post about Steve's internalized bi-phobia:

Steve has known for years.

And how could he not when Tommy's freckles come back tenfold each spring like a flower peaking it's head through the last layer of snow? Or when Matthew Carver's hair have a reddish brown tone that turns blond after they spent the last days before summer break practising outside and remind Steve of liquid gold? Or when he watches Star Wars and Harrison Ford, rugged and witty, comes into view and twists his stomach in knots? How could he not know?!

Steve knows he finds guys as attractive as girls, known for many, many years. But.

But he can't. Not when Tommy sneers at that boy in their literature class who likes flamboyant clothes and wants to be an actor on Broadway. Not when the people they meet in Indi who are like Robin and Eddie 'fully queer' and talk about people like Steve as if they're traitors and scams. Not when he reads the newspaper and is assaulted by Reagan and his folk preaching about the 'fag pandemic' or how his father nods in approval and mutters 'another sinner gone for good' when the news play on TV and they occasionally mention the crisis that kills people like Robin and Eddie and him.

Like him....

It doesn't matter how much he loves sleeping with his nose pressed against Eddie's collarbone or that he thinks he'd like to kiss Eddie and hold his hands and wake up beside him until they're old and wrinkly and complain about bad knees.

He is, but he cannot be a queer, half a fairy '50% like me, 50% like Eddie' as Robin jokes.

He will not be a bisexual, he can keep it inside, keep it hidden, buried deep inside him no matter how much it pains him. He can be the straight friend who goes to pride and bakes rainbow cakes and marries a woman even though his heart screams in an ear ringing cacophony, 'Eddie, Eddie Eddie Eddie!'

This is how his 20s go: loud and hurting and yearning and hiding and more noticeably being disgusted and ashamed of himself for simply being able to love men the way he can love women.

He's 29 when his wife, Becky, leaves him. It's not just Eddie and this shameful secret that weights heavy on their relationship, but the scars and all the other secrets he is unable to explain to her that drive Becky finally away - back to Boston. She leaves him alone in that tiny house they bought three years ago with their Saint Bernard puppy they lovingly named Bernadette.

He's 30 when he goes to a coffee meeting of the bisexual group meeting in Chicago, nearly turning the car multiple times, hands and knees sweaty with fear that they won't want him there. They do want him there, welcome him with open arms, and talk about things Steve knows all too well: 'When I fell in love with the first girl, I ran. I like men just fine, so I hid my crush. It's just easier, when your parents hate gays, when the world is shaming our community, when we're dying.' He finds a second home there, and learns - learns about queerness and bisexuality, about trans and gender non conforming people and physical attraction versus emotional attraction. He learns about his past and present and about his future, about their history and where they want to go, how they want to mold their world to fit people like them into it without the pain and the hiding.

Steve is 33 when he finally comes out to everyone dear to him. To the kids who aren't kids anymore and to Joyce and Hopper, and then his parents. this does not go well, but Steve doesn't want, doesn't need their validation anymore. He has his family, his friends, his support system who love him not regardless of his sexuality but because of it, love him because it's part of him. He comes out to Becky, too and that goes much better. they want to be friends, in the future. She's also met Gary who works the the NY Times and wants her to follow him into the big city. So Steve is looking forward how that goes, their tentative friendship.

He is 34 when Eddie comes back from his latest world tour and wants to take a break to rekindle with his uncle, to write new songs, to take a breather. It's only natural that Eddie moves into Steve's guest room and takes over his space on the couch where he cuddles Bernadette while Steve is in the kitchen and makes them grilled cheese and tomato soup for dinner.

Its even more natural when their feet meet while watching a movie and they lean into each other in the kitchen, dawn barely there, while they wait for the coffee maker to finish.

Steve's 35 when Eddie finally kisses him and he kisses back. No hurt, no shame, no guilt gnawing on him, Steve finally allows himself to be with the person he truly wants - regardless of their gender.

[temis-de-leon]

When they don't know you as well as they thought they did

Characters: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub and Belphegor (x reader, separately)

Main Masterlist

C/W: the boys are crushing on MC and it's implied MC is crushing as well, but there isn't any established relationship. Just friends feeling things for their friend, very common. Self-insert, perhaps?

A/N: this is just fluff, very silly, a little ooc maybe, but I'm not sure. I just wanted to make something fun and lighthearted after the recent news.

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No one is surprised anymore at the firmness the brothers speak with when they call you part of the family. Between the pacts and the unsolicited free therapy, it’s only fair, and only an idiot wouldn’t be able to see the affection running through the House of Lamentation.

Still, there are instances every once in a while where, although it’s difficult at the beginning, the boys have no other choice but to accept the fact that you have a completely different life back in the human world and they may not know you as good as they would like.

It starts with the small things; embarrassing conversations where their ignorance gets you to laugh like a maniac more than a couple of times. There they are, blushing in self-consciousness while you cackle uncontrollably because they believed some urban legend about a faceless suited man with freakishly long arms.

Then, slowly, but surely, it turns into more personal things about you, like your irrational, downright, phobia of lizards or the fictional characters you’re surprisingly attracted to.

(Some of those aren’t human, which makes them all feel a strong sense of hope, but you don’t need to know that).

The brothers learn about your studies, favourite subjects and what you’d like to do with your future, even if it sounds hopeless or unlikely. They also keep every bit of information about your friends and family; little comments that you let go here and there and help them understand why you are someone they love so much.

The whole situation evolves in such a way that inviting them to your birthday party in the human realm seems to be the obvious next step.

‘It’s so I can celebrate it with all my loved ones’ you say, and they really can’t deny your offer after that.

So, after a few awkward introductions and half-truths about their origin, everyone is happily talking to each other and eagerly waiting for their turn to be with you.

.

Lucifer, who has had a special interest in your family for a while, finds himself chuckling in understanding when your mother complains about the occasional mess in your room. In your defence, he feels obligated to partially throw his brothers under the bus and blame them for keeping you in a constant state of disarray, but then she says something that… perplexes him.

You don’t like perfection? His eyes open wide at the revelation and your mother chuckles, misinterpreting his expression. She doesn’t know who he really is or what he represents, after all.

Just how vast is the veracity of that statement? Does it refer only to a state of mind or do you apply it to everything else?

Thankfully, he doesn’t have time to feel too anxious before he remembers the little details. When your triumphal smile shone in the dimness of his room that time he made a silly mistake in chess, ultimately granting you the win; or when the Anti-Lucifer League managed to leave his hair unkempt for an entire day, which got you to shamelessly look at him for longer than any of his younger brothers would’ve ever liked.

Not being perfect isn’t something he would ever do consciously and he had always found solace in the fact that you like him despite his mistakes. However, knowing you actually like him because of those mistakes? Perhaps letting those cracks show in his façade isn’t so bad as long as it is for you.

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Not far from him, Mammon chats with your human best friend. There’s an air of competitiveness between them, both wanting to be the ultimate best friend, but it all stays light-hearted. There’s no real threat when Mammon gets to be your first demon, you know? It’s a unique position!

But he still makes sure to assert dominance by stating he would’ve made the perfect party for you, better than the one you’re currently enjoying; with food and decorations from the Devildom and the Celestial realm included, matching outfits and, of course, keeping everything hidden so you can have the best surprise of your life. He had thrown a lot of those with Asmo’s help back home, so he knows you love them!

Or he thinks you do, at least.

Your friend sniggers harmlessly when they hear that last part, pointing at him with an infuriating smartass attitude, and immediately shatters Mammon’s reality.

What the heck do they mean, you don’t like surprise parties? He’d done a lot of those back at the Devildom and you’d never complained, appreciative as you are, even helping him do the same for other’s birthday parties!

Sure, you had always looked dumbfounded by the loud cheering and the confetti after stepping through the door, but that was part of the fun… right? You would tell him if you wanted him to stop, wouldn’t you?

He feels a pang in his heart when the idea of you being uncomfortable for his sake appears in his mind, but it doesn’t make sense. While you undeniably treat him better than anyone else in all of the realms, you still correct him when you see fit and him making you unhappy on your own birthday would be one of those occasions.

He trusts you to confide in him when things are wrong just as much as you trust him to do his best. That’s what friends are for, after all.

.

And where else would Levi be if not hidden in a corner playing with his DDD?

He had tried mingling with people at the party, or at least tried hanging around them, he swears, but conversations became repetitive and boring and then he received a notification for a daily reward from one of his apps, so, of course, he had to sit down to collect it. Then minutes passed as he completed minigames to power up his cards and… you get the idea.

So when a friend of yours walked towards him, complimenting the pins and badges on his bag and the faint music coming out of his headphones, sure, the evening started going way smoother.

He talks enthusiastically, just like any other time his interests are mentioned, wildly gesturing with his hands and letting the little bubble around them be full of their eager exchange. However, a casual lament from his companion stops him right in his tracks.

It’s a shame you don’t like anime…? His first reaction is to laugh, enumerating everything you’d watched, and later commented on, with him under a blanket in the tranquillity of his room, but the utter surprise in your friend’s face leaves him speechless.

You really don’t like it? But… But he’s made you see so many things! Did you like any of them? Did you lie to his face when you said you enjoyed them? He would’ve never chosen a best friend like that; you were not like that and he refused to believe the contrary.

Also, would a liar buy merch on their own like you did? Would they watch the best episodes again or listen to the soundtrack on repeat when they had a bad day? This new revelation only makes him aware he was the one to change your perspective of the fine arts and he’s damn proud of that.

You are still getting an earful when you get back home, though.

.

Satan thinks the kid is a young cousin of yours, but he really hasn’t been paying attention to anything in a long while. How could he, when the enthusiastic toddler had taken their mother’s phone just to show him the family cat’s pictures and videos?

A Mackerel tabby cat, too chubby for his own good but not enough to be actually concerning; playing with feathers, blinking slowly, bumping his head against legs and shoulders, meowing sweetly and, basically, opening his heart in half and making it roam inside his chest like a butterfly.

What a good party.

He mentions all the stray cats behind his house, obviously leaving behind the name of the House of Lamentation and the Devildom, and all the times you’ve gone with him to feed them and play. Satan even shows pictures on his DDD and stops with an adoring expression when you appear on the screen, sitting on your toes with a kitty on your knees and smiling past the camera, straight at Satan.

However, what he hears next takes the air right out of his lungs. He sits down and clutches his pearls and the kid stares at him in anxious confusion, clearly witnessing but not understanding the severity of his distress.

Who, in their right mind, doesn’t like cats?

He remembers the first few times you had accompanied him to his route, intimidated and slightly lingering behind. Initially, he had assumed it was due to the novelty of your friendship or a possible fear of Devildom fauna, but nothing against cats!

Were you afraid of them or just plain uninterested? Why keep going with him if you weren’t as fond of them as he thought you were? Wouldn’t it be because of him, would it?

A warm feeling covers him like a blanket, makes him search for you with his eyes and then immediately blush when you excitedly wave at him, point at the kid and mouth ‘Cute cat!’

Yeah. Very cute.

.

On the other hand, Asmo hangs out with the people responsible for the decorations of the party and compliments them on their work. The colours are well-coordinated, there’s nothing out of place and the distribution was thought with all the guests in mind.

Although he hasn’t been able to help in that regard, he’s made sure you would be the centre of attention that evening; a complicated feature coming from him, but he had never minded sharing the main spot just as long as you were the one by his side; and everyone knows that.

You look cute and pretty and hot in your outfit, a style that both compliments and pleases you. You also worked together in your makeup for hours before getting to the party.

However, taking that much time might have been due to scrolling through social media and gossiping so much, but never mind that. Everyone agrees you look incredible and that is more than enough for him.

It isn’t until one of your friends mentions how weird it is to see you wearing makeup that he dares take his eyes away from you to stare at them in disbelief.

He would’ve never guessed that given that one of your favourite pastimes together is makeup as a whole: going shopping, watching tutorials, following trends, doing your own next to each other, doing each other’s… And, even if he wants to use it, his charming power is useless against you, so he knows you do your makeup because you want to and not because you feel forced by him.

Whether it’s something you share because you enjoy it or something you enjoy because you share it with him, he isn’t sure, but he can swear on his precious damned soul that makeup isn’t a need for you.

It’s just a bonus to your beauty.

.

Sitting at one of the tables, Beel is simultaneously talking to your older sibling while gulping down an entire plate of bite-sized snacks; thankfully, whatever apprehension anyone felt at his hunger died hours ago and now the conversation flowed more naturally, mainly centred around you.

As much as he loves having you near him and his brothers in the House of Lamentation and thinking of you as another member of the family, he is very interested in knowing how your human family is, especially your siblings. It’s another way of relating to you and making him feel closer.

Plus, he gets to know stories from your childhood you may never tell him on your own; anecdotes that will stay at the table he is currently sharing with your sibling.

Unfortunately, they reach a point where, although he wants to keep asking questions about you, doing so with a mouth full of food might end up with Lucifer’s scolding of the year. Also, he really wants to make a good impression.

So your sibling begins asking the questions. Surprisingly, they start with his tattoo; dark red curling around his muscles and almost going unnoticed under the colours of dusk. Beel smiles without giving it any importance because it really doesn’t have it, but forces himself to stop gulping down food when your sibling throws a fun fact about you.

You find tattoos attractive?

He feels an instant burning on his cheeks followed by the rapid beating of his heart and a knot in his stomach, but there’s also a faint unpleasant sour taste in his mouth.

You’ve never asked him about his tattoo, barely sparing a glance at it when you worked out together or he took off his jacket.

He wonders if you don’t like it or if you think it doesn’t look good on him because all he can remember is the focused look in your eyes while looking at his and the curve of your smile growing bigger as you listen to whatever he says, even when it is entirely about food, and…

You know what? He doesn’t really mind. He is fine with things as they are.

.

As both a friend of yours and a fellow younger brother, Belphie respects your sibling’s decision to spill your darkest secrets and thoroughly enjoys the air of comradery between them.

Don’t worry, he won’t let it go past actual serious matters; if you want him to know any of that, he’d rather have you telling him yourself when you’re ready and not get betrayed by your sibling. Silly and harmless pieces of information, however? Those are more than welcome.

And he already has a favourite.

You need to hug plushies to sleep? Tell him more. He doesn’t judge you for feeling the need to hug toys or pillows while sleeping. Actually, he understands.

Do you have a favourite? Is it in the human realm or is it in your room back at the House of Lamentation? While he can recall seeing that ugly zombie iguana on your bed, he’s never seen you cuddling it while sleeping and, other than that, he doesn’t remember seeing one, so he wonders if you hide it somewhere when you know he’s going to your room; but what about those times he enters uninvited?

Does that mean you left your preferred plushie in your room in the human realm? Does that mean that you don’t actually need to hug anything to sleep?

Whenever you share a bed, which is pretty frequent, Belphie can sense an invisible barrier between you that he’s dying to break. It’s nothing physical, given that only he knows how truly comfortable your lap and your chest are, but it’s obvious in the way your hands hesitate to bring him closer.

Shy and indecisive, while you don’t reject his advances, he’s still unsure what your feelings on the matter are. He’d initially thought you weren’t used to having anything so close to you while sleeping, but… now… Maybe he has to assure you that you can hug him as hard as you want.

Belphie is just as good as any plushie, after all; if not better.

.

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Taglist: @ilovecandys2010  @ollieoven @kingofspadesdelusion @whimsybloom

[dameronspector]

Philophobia (Part 2)

Pairing: Joaquin Torres x Stark!Reader

Chapter Summary: Another nightmare that felt way too realistic and one panic attack later, you decided to pick up Pepper’s call and talk to her about everything that happened yesterday. She gives you a little mom talk. And you finally meet the treasure that is Joaquin Torres.

Warnings: Mentions of Death and Depression/Depressive episodes, Mentions of Panic Attacks, Nightmares, Some cursing, Love at First Sight, Kind of enemies to lovers but only because reader hates opening up to people so they bully Joaquin, Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, the lovebirds are finally meeting!!, Joaquin is Down Bad, Reader has some phobias, Found family, also there’s a few references and hidden plots in this. 😁 (please keep in mind that I wrote this from my point of view as a south asian.)

You were walking around the cabin and finally stepped out on the patio. It must’ve been…days since you last stepped out of your room. Pepper tried everything to bring you out and have lunch with her and Morgan but she ended up having to leave your plate by your door.

You are not too sure what compelled you to finally step out of your room. All you knew is that you felt a nagging feeling in your stomach and before you knew it, you were opening the door.

You turned and your eyes fell on the chairs in the corner. You froze.

You felt like your body had turned to cement. You couldn’t move, at all. Your breath hitched and your eyes widened. You wanted to call out to the person, so bad. But you just couldn’t. It felt like your mouth was stitched close. You could feel bile rising up your throat.

The person finally turned around and looked at you.

“Honey?”, your dad asked you, softly.

Hold on. Your dad?

“How…wh-what? H-how are you..?”, you finally sputtered out and furrowed your eyebrows painfully.

The pers-your dad, stood up and made his way over to you. His eyebrows were furrowed and his mouth was etched into a frown.

He reached you and put his hands on your shoulders.

“Hey, it’s me. What’s up, baby? You good? Pep told me you didn’t have your lunch, yet. You wanna get some burgers with me?”, he asked worriedly while caressing your shoulders.

You didn’t know what the fuck was happening. How was he here. Why was he here. What was happening. How are you here. You had so many questions.

“I-dad?”, you croaked out and looked at him with teary eyes. You ran your gaze across his face as if you were trying to remember how he looked like.

Tony’s eyebrows furrowed deeply.

“Yeah, it’s me baby. What’s happ-”

Before he could finish his sentence, you crashed into him and buried your face in his chest, your arms around his waist. You hugged him so tightly that it must’ve been painful.

He immediately wrapped his arms around you and hugged you tightly.

“Honey, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong? Does anything hurt?”, Tony asked you with fear and panic heavy in his voice. One thing about Tony is that if you panic, he’s gonna panic. He couldn’t see his baby hurting like that.

You simply shook your head no, scrunched your eyes tighter and buried yourself into his chest even more. Your body shook with uncontrollable sobs.

“Look at me, kiddo. Please, you gotta tell me what’s up”, Tony pleaded and put his hand on your head, caressing it.

After taking in deep, shuddering breaths to somewhat calm yourself down, you reluctantly broke the hug and looked up at him.

To your horror, gone was his caring and aged, wrinkly face with gray hair.

You came face to face with a half dead man. The right side of his face was completely burnt and charred by the explosion from the snap. His entire body was grey. Not the gray that comes with aging. But the kind of grey that comes with the left out soot of a dying fire. The grey that painted your life after his demise. His eyes were open but unresponsive, and they were so empty it made you sick.

Gone were your father’s mischievous and warm brown eyes. His mouth was open as if he had just let out his final breath.

You stumbled back from him before letting out a loud scream.

“No. No no no no. NO! PLEASE. GO AWAY. NO NO-”

And then you woke up.

You couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t even move. You felt paralysed. And why was it so dark?

“FR-FRIDAY…turn on.. turn on the lights”, you managed to choke out in between gasps.

You clenched your blanket in your hands to ground yourself.

“Boss, do you want me to start a breathing exercise?”

You gulped and gasped out a weak “Yes.”

You went through the motions– deep breath in, hold for 5 seconds, deep breath out, hold for 5 seconds.

After doing this for 5-6 times, you finally managed to calm down.

Now, you were too scared to go back to sleep. Everytime you closed your eyes, you saw your father’s lifeless face.

It’s been a while since you had a nightmare this bad. And this one was way too realistic than the other ones you had. You literally felt like you were at the cabin. You could feel his touch on your shoulders. You felt his hug. Oh, you’d do anything to go back to that nightmare just to feel his hugs once again.

You let out a deep sigh and buried your head in your hands, while leaning your arms against your thighs.

You felt your damp cheeks. You straightened up and ran your hand through your hair.

“FRI, what’s the time right now?”, you croaked out. Your voice was sore from all the yelling.

“It’s 3:15 am, boss.”

You groaned and rubbed your eyes with the heels of your palms. You were not going to get any sleep now (as you predicted earlier in the day). You threw your blanket aside and went out to the kitchen to prepare yourself some coffee. Your coffee addiction definitely made up for the alcohol addiction.

You sipped your coffee on the rooftop deck and you let the chill air cool your warm body.

You felt an itch in your hands to tinker on your dad’s suits again. You haven’t touched those in 3 weeks. Which was progress for you.

You held your coffee mug tighter in your hands to resist the urge to get up and start working. You had promised your therapist and Rhodey that you would not use the suits as a distraction or coping mechanism again. But old habits die hard. So you made way to your makeshift lab. You were planning to turn that room into a proper lab soon.

You started working on MARK 42. You don’t even know what, why, where or when were you going to use all these suits again but you needed a distraction.

“FRIDAY, play ABBA”, you asked the AI. What better than working while dancing to ABBA to distract yourself from a night terror?

-

It was 9 am now. You had successfully stayed up all night working on the suits and dancing to your playlists. It was…fun. I mean, as fun as it gets after having a paralysing night terror. You did your morning routine and had your breakfast. Now you were completely exhausted so you just flopped down on your couch and just rested your eyes.

The moment you felt yourself slip into a deep slumber, your phone rang.

You groaned. “FRI, who is it?”, you asked tiredly.

“It’s Mrs. Potts, boss.”

You immediately opened your eyes and picked up your phone from the coffee table. You and your dad had decided to never not pick up Pepper’s calls because if you don’t, she gets stressed out and then she stresses all of you out.

“Hey, mom”, you answered. This was a recent development during The Blip. You had finally started calling her mom. And honestly? It felt good. She’s been the mother you never had since you were a little kid.

“Oh, how I love hearing you say that”, she said giddily.

You just chuckled.

“How are you, honey? Everything good? Groceries are stocked? How are your sessions going on? Oh, and how was the event? Rhodey told me you met Sam. I hope you had a good time. And how was-”

“Mom. Can you take a breather, my god”, you asked exasperated.

You could practically feel her sheepish smile through the phone. She’s always been this fussy ever since she joined your abnormal family.

“Sorry, honey. First, tell me, how are you?”, she asked gently.

You let out a deep sigh. “I-I’m…okay. Could be better”, you answered truthfully. You’re doing much better at this whole sharing your emotions thing.

“You wanna talk about what happened? You know I’m always here, right? We’re all here for you, sweetheart.”

You could feel your throat choke up again and you scrunched your eyes shut.

You gulped. “Yeah, I know. Thanks, mom,” your voice cracked.

Pepper must’ve understood that you’re not in the mood to share anything else so she quickly changes the topic.

“And how was the event? How’s Sam?”

“He’s as glorious as he was before. Although, now he looks a little tired. But that shield looks really good on him, mom. I’m so happy for him”, you replied sincerely.

Pepper hummed. “Why did he give up the shield? I saw the news”, she asked thoughtfully.

“Yeah, well. There’s some things that we can’t understand. Considering the country we live in and the way things are now…let’s just say he put a lot of thought into it. Not really my place to say, you know?”, you replied.

Pepper let out a soft sigh. “Yeah, I understand. Also, Rhodey told me that Sam gave you an offer?”

You paused. You knew Rhodey would tell her about that. Everyone in this family is a snitch, oh my god, you thought.

You closed your eyes and reluctantly confessed.

“Yeah. He did. Something about helping him with his tech or whatever. And before you say anything, no I didn’t say yes to him. I’m not sure I want to join him.”

“Are you sure about that? You are at home with your tech, sweetheart. It’ll help you stay productive, as well”, Pepper asked you carefully.

You stayed silent. Pepper took that as a sign to continue.

“Besides…Rhodey also mentioned a new friend?” She added with mirth in her voice. She kept trying to set you up on a date so you’re sure she was ecstatic when Rhodey told her this.

You groaned loudly. “Why is my personal life a gossip for you two?! Is Rhodey the resident gossip girl now?!”, you said while pinching the bridge of your nose with your index finger and thumb. You’re going to steal Rhodey’s suits until he stops meddling with your life.

Pepper laughed.

“I’m not going to join Sam and I’m not meeting any friend. You guys need to relax, alright? What am I even gonna do there. And I don’t think Sam actually wants me there, either. So. Anyways. Bye mom. I’ll talk to you later”, you said abruptly.

Pepper just let out a deep sigh. You were Tony’s carbon copy. It was scary. It’s times like these that made her miss him even more because it reminded her of their younger selves. She’d give anything to see you two banter again. And she knows you would’ve listened to him in a heartbeat, too.

“Okay, honey. Take care. I love you.”

You just hummed and cut the call. You dropped your phone back on the coffee table and draped your arm across your eyes.

You didn’t even realise when you fell asleep because the next time you woke up, it was to FRIDAY calling you out.

“Boss, wake up. There’s someone at the door.”

You sighed. “FRI, if it’s Rhodey you can just let him in”, you picked up your phone to check the time. It was 12:00 pm. You slept for a good while.

FRIDAY began, “It isn’t Mr. Rhodes, boss. It’s Mr. Wilson. And just for your information, he’s here with someone.”

That snapped you out of your sleep and you jolted up.

“What? What is he doing here? How did he know-Rhodey”, you groaned loudly. You knew Pepper would tell the details of your conversation to Rhodey. You shouldn’t have picked her call up, yet.

“Fuck, okay. Tell him to wait for a minute. I’ll be right back”, you said in an exhausted voice.

You went to your bedroom and changed your pajamas to a presentable shirt and jeans and quickly washed your face before brushing your hair.

“Okay. Let him in”, you told FRIDAY.

While he came in, you were in the kitchen, fetching some water for Sam. You decided you might as well be a good host and let him down politely.

“Hey, kid.”

You had your back to him and you turned around to greet him- who is that.

You must’ve expressed that a little too obviously as Sam chuckled nervously and introduced you to the guy that came with him.

“Kid, meet Joaquin. Joaquin, that’s-”

“(Name) Stark. I know. Wow. I mean- Hey. Nice- Honoured to meet to you. I’m Lieutenant Joaquin Torres”, he rambled and held out his hand for you to shake.

You swore you felt your heart skip a beat.

Wait what?

Both of you were looking at each other so intently, that Sam just chose to stand beside Joaquin with his arms across his chest, an amusing smirk spread over his face. He could already see that a few months later, y’all would thank him for this.

“Kid?”, Sam asked playfully.

You snapped out of your daze and looked at Sam.

“H-hey. I wasn’t expecting you here...” you trailed off and blinked your eyes.

“Yeah, I know. Rhodes gave me the address. Sorry for just barging in like this but it’s kind of an emergency”, Sam replied apologetically.

You simply hummed. And your eyes went to their feet. Not because you had a fetish but because they were wearing their shoes. In your house. You widened your eyes.

“Both of you, take off your shoes. Did Rhodey not tell you about the rules? No shoes in my house”, you say exasperatedly.

Both of them, shocked at your sudden reaction and your rules, immediately went to the entrance and stood there dumbfounded.

“Where-”, Sam began and pointed at their shoes.

You sighed. “Just remove them by the door.”

They quickly removed their shoes and joined you in the living room, nervously.

You turned your gaze back towards Joaquin. He was still staring at you intently and hadn’t said a single word. You furrowed your brows.

“Is he…okay?”, you asked Sam in confusion.

Sam turned to look at Joaquin and pursed his lips to avoid laughing. He brought his hand up and clapped it on Joaquin’s back firmly.

“Torres, you good?”

Joaquin flinched and snapped his eyes to Sam. He blinked rapidly.

“Uh. Yeah. I’m good. All good”, he said quickly and threw a thumbs up.

Sam just smiled knowingly.

“Kid, as you must’ve figured out by now, he’s the partner I mentioned yesterday and he’s the one who looks over most of the technical stuff. Since I’ve been sending him off on field missions on the side, I thought, why not ask you to help us with the remaining stuff.”

“I mean, I’m good at it, just gets a little difficult to handle it when I’m on field, you know. Not that you aren’t better than me, I mean you’re THE (Name) Stark, ofcourse you’re better than me but-”

“It’s alright. I got it. Joaquin, right?”, you cut off his rambling and held out a hand to stop him.

Wow, he really IS talkative. This was going to be a problem.

You saw how he shut his mouth and gulped.

“Y-yeah…”, Joaquin trailed off. You couldn’t help but notice, had such shiny brown eyes…

What is wrong with you?

“Please take a seat, you guys want something to drink? Eat?”, you asked them while leading them to the couch.

“No, we’re good. Actually….we want you to join us right away. Like, now, would be good”, Sam told you hesitantly. He knew this was not a good idea. Rhodey told him that you were already on edge about all this.

You paused. “Now? Like, now now?”, you asked carefully.

Sam grimaced. “Yeah…actually, we’ve got a big problem. And that problem just broke redwing.”

You widened your eyes. “No way, you let your child get abused like that?”, you asked jokingly. Joaquin chuckled at this. You stared at him in amusement.

Sam narrowed his eyes at you and Joaquin. “Damn right he’s my child. And that’s why I’m asking you to cure him. He’s like, your sibling. Please, don’t say no.”

“Did you just call a robot my sibling? And are you really giving me the puppy eyes right now, Wilson?”, you quirked an eyebrow at him.

He ignored the second question and just tilted his head- like a kicked puppy. “If your dad birthed him then he’s your sibling, right?”

You groaned and rubbed your hands across your face. Honestly? You already knew your answer. You knew it the moment Rhodey requested you to think about it. You were simply hesitating because of your tendency to pull away the moment something triggers you. You know, stark legacy and all. And you didn’t want to hurt Sam like that.

You let out a sigh that came from deep inside your bones.

“Okay we’re gonna have some rules. 1. You’re not going to make any weird jokes about redwing being my sibling. 2. I will not participate in any kind of field operations. 3. I will come and go as I please”, you paused and pointed at Joaquin, “and 4. If I tell you something, you will simply listen to me. No questions. No counter arguments. Zip. Nada. Am I clear?”, you finished, looking pointedly at the two of them.

You saw their eyes comically widen.

“Oh hell yeah, whatever you say. And we agree with all of your conditions, don’t we, Joaquin?”, Sam said excitedly.

You saw Joaquin nod his head eagerly. You were mesmerised by the way his bouncy, beautiful, dark curls moved atop his head, powered by those dark coffee pools that are his eyes- Knock it off. No. We’re not doing this again.

You quickly averted your eyes and gulped. You noticed out of the corner of your eye how Joaquin’s gaze was fixated on you.

“Okay. Relax. What’s the plan, now?”, you asked reluctantly.

“We’ll go to my apartment, first. You can check out all the stuff that needs fixing and run a diagnosis on redwing. Then we can go ahead from there. Sounds good?.”

You nodded your head.

“Yeah, okay. Let me clean up and pack a bag. Then we can leave. You guys can help yourself around until then. FRIDAY, help them out with anything they need”, you announced and went to your room. You couldn’t believe you actually said yes.

Joaquin’s (+Sam’s) POV

“You’re serious? You’re gonna ask The (Name) Stark to join us? No, no. You’re gonna ask The (Name) Stark to work with ME?”, Joaquin asked Sam with all the excitement that existed in the world. He was practically bouncing off the walls.

He couldn’t believe it. How was this his life now. Partnering with his role model and hero and now he gets to work with his crush who is also his second role model? No fucking way, dude.

-

Sam knew how much that boy loved the eldest stark child because he would never shut up about them. It’s always ‘oh man, they’re so talented and so beautiful’ or ‘how are they so well dressed every time?’ Or ‘how can someone be so intelligent at such a young age, bro?’.

Sam found out about Joaquin’s little crush on you when he walked in on him watching an old interview. You were talking at a charity event that took place 6 years ago. You were only 17 then. Joaquin was so engrossed in the video that he was leaning his head on his propped up arm and staring at the screen of his laptop without blinking. With a dopey smile plastered on his face.

“I didn’t know you were a fan?”, Sam asked cheekily.

Joaquin flinched and quickly shut his laptop.

“Dude, can’t you knock?!”, he exclaimed and put his hand on his chest.

Sam just smirked. “I thought you were working on some intel that’s why I came here to check it out. But, here you are, makin’ googly eyes at your laptop screen! That’s your fault, Torres. You’re procrastinating.”

Sam noticed how Joaquin’s cheeks turned bright red.

“Uh- well. I was. I was just looking at a speech. A very intellectual and interesting speech, mind you”, he quickly explained.

Sam quirked an eyebrow. “Oh really? Was the speech interesting or was the speaker interesting?”, he asked cheekily.

Joaquin’s face reddened even more.

“Um- I- well, you see-”, Joaquin stuttered.

Sam just laughed and clapped his shoulder. “It’s okay, man. I won’t tell anybody about your crush. Pinky promise”, he teased.

Joaquin groaned and ducked his head.

After that incident, Joaquin randomly came clean about his infatuation with you during a night out.

“I don’t know, man. There’s something so…captivating about them. The way they command the room even though they’re so shy. The way they speak so eloquently. The way they’re always respectful to others even if they’re strangers. The way they defend their family so fiercely. How they’re so passionate about all the causes they work for. Just…”, Joaquin trailed off and shook his head.

“Yeah. You don’t see those qualities often in a billionaire’s heir, you know. Feels like they really root for the underdog. And I love that. I love their empathy and the grace they carry themselves with”, Joaquin said with affection dripping from his words.

Sam whistled. “Oh boy, you’ve got it bad.”

Joaquin just chuckled and took a sip out of a beer. His entire face was red. Yeah. He had it bad. And he was not ashamed of it.

-

After meeting you at the press meet, Sam went to meet up with Joaquin at the tarmac. He was 100% prepared for the onslaught of questions because he knew Joaquin must’ve seen the footage.

He turned around the corner and there it was.

“Dude. You met up with them?! What the fuck? You didn’t tell me. I would’ve joined you, man. Why didn’t you ask me, oh my god? They looked so good, by the way, but that’s not important. You MET them and you-” “I asked them if they wanna work with you.”

“And you talked to them right? How was it- wait. WHAT?”, Joaquin yelled abruptly.

Sam shushed him. “Relax, Torres. And yes, I asked them if they wanted to work with you. I mean not you–I asked them if they wanted to join me and help us with the tech stuff”, Sam replied nonchalantly, as if this was not a big deal. As if Joaquin wasn’t this close to passing out.

Sam swore he saw Joaquin buffer in real time. The #1 Yapper was rendered speechless? He had to thank you for that.

Joaquin opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water.

“You….asked them…if they wanted to…work with me?”, Joaquin squeaked out, eyes zoned out as if he’s in a trance.

“Not you exclusively, don’t get ahead of yourself, lover boy”, Sam narrowed his eyes at Joaquin.

Joaquin completely ignored that. “What did they say?”, he asked impatiently, eyes wide in hope.

Sam sighed. “Well, after everything they’ve been through…it’s not been easy for them. I’m not sure they’ll agree to do this. We can only wait.”

A flicker of understanding passed through Joaquin’s face. He nodded. “Yeah man, I understand”, he said sincerely.

“But..god, I hope they say yes”, Joaquin added shyly and ducked his head, averting his gaze from Sam.

Sam just smiled. “Yeah man, me too.”

-

Which brings them back to today. They were literally standing outside your penthouse.

Joaquin asked Sam once again-

“You’re serious? You’re gonna ask The (Name) Stark to join us? No, no. You’re gonna ask The (Name) Stark to work with ME?”, Joaquin asked Sam with all the excitement that existed in the world. He was practically bouncing off the walls.

Sam just smirked.

“Calm down, tiger. You don’t even know if they’re gonna say yes”, Sam told him with amusement lacing his tone.

“I know, I know. Still. It’s crazy, bro…We’re literally standing outside their house, right now? Oh, I can’t wait to throw down with them-”

Joaquin was cut off by FRIDAY speaking.

“Boss has asked you to come in, Mr. Wilson.”

Sam looked at Joaquin, all the amusement vanishing from his eyes.

“Listen, Joaquin. I’m serious. Don’t say or do anything that’ll freak them out. It’s a sensitive topic, okay?”

Joaquin nodded his head in understanding.

The door opened and they entered the living room. Joaquin’s hands started sweating. He was fucking terrified yet excited at the same time.

They turned around to and finally saw you.

Sam greeted you and you immediately turned around to greet him. You seemed surprised to see them. Sam introduced the two of you. But, Joaquin felt like time had stopped. His ears were ringing. His hands were shaking, his knees were weak and he felt dizzy.

God, you are beautiful.

You were wearing a simple shirt and jeans and had absolutely no make up or anything but…you had a special kind of beauty. Your warm and empathetic nature truly showed on your face because you were glowing. To him, you were like an angel sent straight from heaven.

Joaquin ran his eyes all over you like a man quenching his thirst. He couldn’t believe that you standing right in front of him. That he was allowed to be in your orbit like this.

And in the midst of his mental breakdown, he didn’t notice the way you seemed to have stopped in your tracks and were looking at him just as intensely.

While the two of you were busy with your little staring contest, you didn’t notice Sam smirking to himself in satisfaction.

‘They will be thanking me soon’, Sam thought smugly.

Part 3

-

AN: woohoo!! They finally met! I’m also thinking of making it a series that will follow TFATWS. Hope you liked this part!

Sorry if the ending and pacing is weird. I’m still trying to figure out how to write a whole series + end chapters :(

[mellosdrawings]

I'd like to hear more about Holden! Especially what his dynamic is with the Octavinelle trio and Noah, because y'know, pirate and merfolk, lots of fun there XD Captain Hook is like the Disney villain that I most want to see a twisted version of in game, so I always get excited when I see OCs of Hook

Oh, Holden. What a mess of a person he ended up being. I didn't expect him to end up being one of those with the most trauma. And I dunno if he's really what you'd expect considering I went a... certain way with him ^^'

Holden Jameson

[redacted age], 2nd year

Heartslabyul

Human from the Shaftlands

He/him

Boardgame club

Based on Captain Hook

Signature Spell: A Happy Little Thought

-this is a time spell that only works on his own body

-it allows him to revert back to a child or to age into an old man, and anything in between

-it technically allows him to heal faster, but should he become younger again there is a very real risk of landing on a time he was wounded if the wound was consequent enough

-should anything happen to a certain limb *wink wink* at a certain point in the past *wink* then reverting back to an age prior to it will give his limb back, but reaching the time he lost said limb and further will automatically make it disappear

-he cannot chose one body part to use his UM on, it only works on his whole body

Real life Peter Pan Syndrome

When he was 5, Holden was “kidnapped” by mischievous children faes. He lived among them for ten years before his sudden growth made the faes ostracize him. They abandoned him in a crocodiles’ pit and left him for dead. When Holden found his way back home, he had not aged a second despite everybody around him being ten years older than when he left.

This happened [redacted] years ago. Holden has since been stuck in a loop of his own making, inadvertently reverting to a child whenever he threatens to turn into an adult. This cycle has already happened at least [redacted] times. Holden's own mental age oscillates anywhere between 5, 15, 25, and 40 years old depending on his stability, and his physical body does not always reflect his mental age.

His mother enabled him too. Traumatized from having lost her child so young, she never questioned how he could be back looking exactly the same as when she lost him, raising him as she should have done all those years back. When he regressed for the first time, she went along with it and simply raised him all over again, feeding into this cycle. It only ended when she died of old age.

A proper gentleman who follows the rules

If one could claim the Queen of Hearts’ throne in Riddle’s place, it would be Holden. Ever since he lost his arm, he has been following a very detailed schedule to the letter and has considered rules as most sacred. Missing an appointment makes him meltdown, breaking a rule angers him. He is very picky on every single detail. While he doesn't hold others to the same level of perfectionism he holds himself to, he does get annoyed when others outright disregard common courtesy and he will take matter in his own hand(s) when big transgressions happen.

Tick-tock

Despite Holden’s obsession with proper schedule, he has a huge phobia of analog clocks. The mere sound of one is enough to have him panic into uselessness. He also has a phobia of scaly creatures, mostly crocodiles, and a near phobic approach to neatness and germs.

Faes

His past experiences with faes make him especially scathing towards any he meets, and the Diasomnia crew gets it the worst. Malleus constantly missing appointments and being unable to keep track of time especially gets on Holden's nerves. He also has a very hard time with Sebek who leans hard into his fae legacy and has enough crocodile elements to himself to make Holden uneasy.

Prosthetic

The day Holden loses his hand is the day his time loop inadvertently resets. After a... forceful wake-up call, he ended up getting a prosthetic in replacement. Holden absolutely despises it and tends to hide his hand under gloves or behind his back.

Sea and merfolk

Holden's father was a renown sea captain and has brought him on his adventures many times when Holden's mother calmed down enough to let him out of his sight. While everything else in Holden's life is the way it is out of necessity or propriety (or fear), ships and the sea are the one things Holden genuinely loves and actively attempts to learn more about. He knows how to pilot ships, know sea roads by heart, and has a very wide understanding of marine life. Contrary to his hatred for faes, Holden is always ready to hear more about merfolks. He still has a bit of a hard time with Noah and Floyd because of how carefree they are, but Jade's decorum and Azul's capacity to bend the rules without ever breaking them have all his attention.

Random facts:

-he's OCD. Completely.

-like, he's just anxious 24/7, his calm facade is just too good for people to realize

-he's a viscount from his mother's side

-he has many fencing medals and regularly trains with Silver

-he is rather sympathetic with Silver's situation but is completely baffled that Silver loves his fae entourage so much

-when he's panicking, he picks at his hair and scalp to the point he nearly tears chunks of hair off

-he is surprisingly good at sewing

-one of his (many) contradictory behaviors is that he both hates and loves cacophony

-he is VERY critical of childish behaviors

-he would be completely lost without his aide, Simon

[megismyname]

A few general statements for the fandom:

Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

And yes this applies to personal or private information you may obtain or theorize about any of the players involved. Just because you obtained it “publicly” doesn’t mean it should be shared for the whole of the fandom. Ask yourself if this was being shared about you, would you want everyone that knows you discussing it? If not, keep it to a 4-5 person group chat.

Stop villainizing Nic and Luke for not performing on your perceived timeline.

Nicola is only 38 - she’s not in a “mid life crisis” and if I hear that one more time I’m gonna pull my hair out. Luke is not a “fuckboy” because he had one HBS and dated a younger woman for a short period of his life. Just because “guys like Luke” wouldn’t date you doesn’t mean he couldn’t love Nicola. And for real, WTF does “guys like Luke” mean? Just say that you’re projection fat phobia on Nicola when she’s not even “fat.”

Follow up - Nic and Luke are not distancing themselves from Bridgerton or from each other.

Most of y’all became fans during the WT so you were so used to constant content 24/7 and unfortunately that’s over. Luke and especially Nicola are also more high profile now compared to previous seasons. BTS posting on social media is gonna be different. It has nothing to do with their thoughts toward the show or each other. They’ve both commented multiple times how much they love Bridgerton. And they’ve both commented how much they love each other. Stop creating drama just because you need a dopamine fix.

Another follow up - social media is not real life.

Y’all I don’t know them personally but I PROMISE you that Luke reached out to Nic personally and wished her happy birthday. (Hell depending on where you fall on the theory spectrum, he was the one with her at her birthday dinner and took the picture.) I will tell you that my birthday is January 8th, the day before Nic, and I had to two Instagram story posts wishing me happy birthday. TWO. And I promise you I have a lot of friends. But you know what? All of my close friends texted or called me that day and gave me personalized greetings that weren’t for the whole world to see. And - GASP - this includes friends who have posted for me multiple past years in a row. So yes, even pattern breaking doesn’t mean anything. It’s been a week so please stop dwelling on this. And if you are still upset then I have a question for you - does it equally bother you that none of the Bridgertons publicly wished Will Tilston a Happy 18th Birthday? If not, please reevaluate the reasons behind your expectations.

Stop the public bullying and ostracizing.

The public hate needs to stop. Everyone is always accusing “shippers” of being the reason why N&L seem closed off but my opinion is that if anyone in the fandom is influencing their behavior, it’s the people continuously spewing hate. I will admit I’ve been guilty of throwing down against some of the more toxic creators in this space but I’ve always felt like I was “giving a voice to the voiceless.” What we need to do is stop attacking other creators because their opinions are different than us. And yes, I’m bringing this back to “opinion” because as I said the other day - nobody knows “fact” no matter how “obvious” you think it may be. You think Antonia and Jake are their significant others? Great. You think Nic and Luke are together? Great. Until the day that there is ever a definitive answer directly from the teams of Nic or Luke, everyone is on equal playing ground. I’m sorry if that bothers you but it’s true.

Side note to all of this: if a creator is saying stuff that makes you uncomfortable just know that when you make a post complaining about it, you were in fact perpetuating that information that makes you uncomfortable and only making the visibility larger. Just keep this in mind.

And with that, I’ll take my leave for now. Let’s all take a collective deep breath and remember that these are two real people with real lives and we’re only seeing what they choose to show us. Maybe it’s time we all pick up some extra hobbies. Start playing online games with your group chat. Fun some other methods of injecting fun in your day. It’ll make the time go by and you won’t be driving yourself crazy over this fandom. Keep your heads up y’all and just keep moving forward - it’s not that serious y’all. 💛

[gallusrostromegalus]

How does each of the main aeiwam cast react to spiders?

Ichigo: "...Why's my leg itchyyYEAUGH! DAMMIT!" *scoops spider up in piece of paper, opens window and throws it out* "OUTSIDE! SHOO! I hate it when they sneak up and on me...

Orihime: Had an intense close personal friendship with a Joro Spider that had made it's web on her apartment balcony when she was six. It's death at the end of summer was her first real experience with mortal loss, and she mourned it for weeks. She still recalls "Joro-San" fondly.

Uryuu: Secretly dreams of Spiders large enough to spin actual ropes of silk- the stuff is a marvel of chemical engineering, and would be incredibly useful to him as a Doctor or Fashion Designer. He feels like the difficulty of harvesting Spidersilk is the main thing holding back a Golden age of Humanity, and is disturbed to find out he shares ANY opinion with Mayuri Kurotsuichi.

Tatsuki: Paralyticly Phobic of spiders. Understands and appreciates their importance in the ecosystem, knows they can't hurt her and that the phobia is an irrational reflex, and even thinks some of them 'look cool as hell'. The second there's a live one in her presence, she locks up and can't move until someone removes it. (Usually Ichigo, because Orihime will just stare at it, fascinated).

Chad: Has a Pet Kitchen Spider. thought about shooing flies in it's direction, then felt bad for the flies.

Kon: Is a cat, hunts them, and will have nuanced discussions about how different spiders taste with Yuzu, the one person who will tolerate that analysis.

Keigo: Screams theatrically and jumps away and into someone's arms if they're there, but that's just how he reacts to anything that startles him.

Mizuiro: Fascinated by them, will stare at them with Orihime and tell her fun facts about Joro-Gumo Yokai and other lore, which delights her to no end.

Yoruichi: Like Kon, enjoys toying with them before eating them.

Urahara: Curled into the farthest corner, screaming, crying, throwing up, and begging Yoruichi to STOP FUCKING AROUND AND GET RID OF IT!

Rukia: *entirely genuine, with a huge spider crawling on top of her hair* "...what Spider?"

(Seireitei Squad Under The Cut)

Yamamoto: Utterly fails to notice or care. There are so many things he's seen that are so much worse, and honestly? Even when he was a young man he didn't give a shit. He slept rough delivering messages, waking up in the dirt with half a dozen bugs on him was normal.

Sasakibe: Thinks they're delightful. So many elegant designs! Such perfect sense of when to strike! Such patience! He finds out about Diving Spiders and goes Ape Shit. THEY MAKE THEIR ON SCUBA TANKS!!

Soi Fon: Spiders are cool but not as cool as wasps and hornets :)

Omaeda: Also has a Pet Kitchen Spider, but does not feel bad about shooing flies into it's web at all.

Gin: Isn't actually sure what spiders are, or if they're even real. He's seeing sixteen dimensions at once, something that minuscule gets lost in the noise. Still thinks that someone Screaming "SPIDER!" and everyone flailing around in fear or suddenly attacking the walls and furniture is a social game like "The Floor Is Lava"

Rose: Thinks they're cool right up until they're in his personal space and then they are VERY SCARY.

Izuru: Was the designated spider-wrangler for the third from the first day he transferred in, because everyone else is a huge bitch about them. he plays it cool, but he's actually creeped out by the really big ones.

Unohana: Spiders are garden Friends :) often heard verbally encouraging them to destroy her garden pests with calls of "GET HIS ASS!" coming from the Hydrangeas.

Isane: Everyone is sort of surprised how chill Isane is about dealing with spiders- even Yamada's Actually Dangerous Specimens- and she shrugs and tells them that she deals with more dangerous things every day, especially over in Pharmacology. It keeps the focus off the Bug she's actually terrified of: Butterflies.

Hanataro: Do Not Ask The Head Of Toxicology And 11th Division Pocket Medic About Spiders Unless You Are Prepared For A Seven-Hour Lecture With A Pop Quiz At The End.

Aizen: HUGE fan of Spiders. What splendid creatures- look at how carefully the spider selects the anchor points of it's web, the skillfulness with which it weaves. Such incredible patience, waiting for the lines of tension it's woven to snare it's game- though I suppose such patience is easier when the fly's capture is inevitable >:)

Shinji and Hiyori: *Screaming and flailing, hitting things at random (mostly each other) in a blind panic, because they share a braincell and that cell is TERRIFIED of spiders* "It's so fast!" "It was huge! It had to be a tarantula!" "We should burn the division down, just to be sure."

Momo: Escorted the little garden spider outside in a cup like ten minutes ago, and forgot about it because that's such a routine chore, and she was having a more important phone call at the time.

Byakuya: Rarely notices spiders, but sometimes one will scuttle across his desk and he'll stop to watch it for the seven minutes it takes to actually cross his desk with a neutral expression, before resuming whatever he was doing. It's a pleasant diversion for him, not unlike watching the koi fish swim around in the compound pond, and he resumes his duties feeling spiritually refreshed by that chance encounter with nature.

Renji: Not bothered by Spiders. VERY Bothered by his Boss's fucking peculiar-ass reaction to a spider wandering across his desk because to Renji, it looked like Byakuya had never actually seen a spider before and was staring at it with an expression that indicated his higher brain functions had ceased entirely. Is currently making plans to study "The Captain Kuchiki Spider Brain Glitch" by catching a bunch of spiders in a jar and releasing them into his office to see what happens.

Komamura: He's particularly fond of Jumping spiders, because they sing little songs while hunting that he can hear if it's really quiet. They're very cute. Gets very upset when people kill spiders or talk about killing them.

Iba: Not afraid of spiders but doesn't know what to do when they're in his way. Killed one in front of Komamura once when he was a little kid and Komamura was still his babysitter, Sajin gave him a huge and very upset lecture about respecting life in all it's forms... but did not actually teach Iba how to remove them. So every time he sees one he sorta stands there for a minute and hopes it will move, before yelling "BOSS!"

Shunsui: Does not want to admit how much Spiders freak him out. It's not fear, precisely- more of a disgust reaction. All bugs make his skin crawl and he understands how important they are, but can they do all that ecology stuff Far Away From Him, Please And Thank You?

Nanao: Like Unohana, reveres spiders as pest control. She takes it a step further, and actively collects Jumping Spider egg sacs as she finds them in the archives and tends to them over winter so when early spring comes, she can release several hundred thousand spiderlings into the archives to destroy the mites, bookworms, moth larvae and other archive pests before they can get a foothold. She usually does this while dumping out the entire terrarium and cackling manically.

Lisa: Immediately joins in on Nanao's Spider Propagation Project, much to Shunsui's horror.

Tousen: If there is a sudden shriek and burst of profanities and hexes in the ninth division, 90% chance it's because Kaname walked into a spider web again, his LEAST favorite texture in the Universe. Yes, including the curse nails. He'd keep them in his spine if it meant he'd never walk into another spiderweb.

Kensei: Often cracked open a beer while watching the evening news during his exile in the living world. Sometimes it was several beers, or something stronger if he'd had a rough day. One night, it was a bottle of Fireball as he watched the news, and felt too intoxicated to change the channel from the newshour, so he kept watching when PBS Nature came on, and damn near pissed himself laughing when he saw the Peacock Spider's Mating Dance. Full on Howling, tears streaming down his face, barely able to breathe, Pterodactyl-noises laughing. Nothing has been funnier before or since to him, so now whenever he sees a spider he starts guffawing and stop to explain WHY.

Shuuhei: Deeply confused by the fact spiders keep coming indoors. "Why are you all here?" he asks, doing a cobweb patrol with the broom before his boss gets back from the inter-division meeting. "What are you eating? Crumbs? Lint? Is it Lint you eat?"

Mashiro: Has a grasshopper-type Zanpakuto who is not a fan, so she attempts to destroy any spider she sees in solidarity. Usually misses and destroys something else.

Matsumoto: Spiders are cool, but not as cool as snakes :)

Hitsugaya: Grew up on a farm, and shares Momo's total non-reactivity to them. It's even deeper, because his constant ambient chill means spiders never climb on him if they can't help it.

Zaraki: Used to agitate Yumichika and Ikkaku by eating them. Now he agitates them by wandering off the trail during 11th Division Boot Camp or other deployments and coming back with extremely dangerous ones and handing them to Hanataro "fer yer collection". The 11th Division's Pocket Medic has explained toxicology at length to him, and now Zaraki thinks of various medicines as "Spider Pills" and "Scorpion Juice".

Yachiru: Still eats spiders. She's the sole exception to the Wrath of Komamura, because there is no malice or fear in her actions- it's perfectly natural and morally upstanding Carnivory. The rest of you are being irrational and jerks.

Ikkaku: Sometimes regrets his life choices when he sees the freak he's sworn loyalty to walk out of the trees with something venomous enough to kill half the gotei-13 with a single bite crawling over his face, then realizes that's FUCKING BADASS and is assured that he made the right choices.

Yumichika: *currently sneaking up behind Ikkaku with a fake spider on a string to affectionately terrorize him*

Mayuri: Unlike Uuryu, Mayuri isn't a Weenie, and he's making his dreams of Milkable Spiders the Size of Cattle a reality.

Nemu: Helping with that. This one is hers. She named it #47, after it's designation, Specimen Number 47.

Ukitake, *entirely genuine, with a huge spider crawling across his forehead* "...There's a spider in here?"

[svt-luna]

ʚིᵋ FACTS ABOUT LUNA ᵌɞྀ

synopsis: Get to know more about Luna from this list of facts exclusively about her.

╰ ౨ৎ LUNA-VERSE MASTERLIST

ೀ Luna’s full name is Bae Jiyeon (배지연) from Sino-Korean 智 (ji) meaning "wisdom, intellect" or 志 (ji) meaning "will, purpose, ambition" combined with 妍 (yeon) meaning "beautiful.”

ೀ Her English name Luna is Latin for “moon” because her mother who named her loves anything moon-related.

ೀ A list of Luna’s endorsements and brands she is an ambassador of: Miu Miu, Dior Beauty, YSL Beauty, Laura Mercier, Chaumet, Innisfree, Kirsh, Bvlgari, Cartier, SK Telecom, Gospheres, Hapa Kristin, EIDER, FRED, SJSJ, Amuse, rolarola, Kérastase

ೀ If she wasn’t an idol she would still be a ballerina or a psychologist.

ೀ From a young age, she has always been an observant person. She has picked up a habit of analyzing people and their behaviors which made her want to study to be a psychologist.

ೀ Luna is a Psychology major and has a Bachelor of Science in Clinical Psychology.

ೀ When asked why she pursued this major she answered: “I had three dreams growing up. One was to be an idol which I have already achieved. Second, was to be a ballerina— and despite not being able to fully continue to be a full-time ballerina, I still got to perform as one multiple times as a young girl and I can still perform as one now if given the opportunity. Lastly, I wanted to be a psychologist— getting a PhD is possible, sure, but I love performing… my place is on the stage, and studying for that long will take my time away from the stage. So I decided to get a bachelor's degree instead… so I guess you can say that all my dreams have come true.”

ೀ Luna is terrified of spiders. Terrified to the point just seeing a picture or a video makes her physically flinch. No matter what kind of spider, no matter the size or color she would lose her mind and start crying on the spot.

ೀ She is also claustrophobic. She doesn’t do well in crowded places. So whenever they are mobbed by fans, Luna would always be holding one of the members’ hands for comfort. She mentioned in an interview how she got stuck in an elevator once when she was younger which is probably where her phobia stems from. Because of this, she has a habit of staring at the floor whenever she is in an elevator— she claims: “Looking at the walls makes me want to claw my way out the door myself.” She also never rides an elevator alone and would rather take the stairs if needed.

ೀ She is allergic to mushrooms and almost went into anaphylactic shock when she was nine years old.

ೀ Her favorite flowers are tulips.

ೀ She hates math but for some reason is good at it.

ೀ She hates doing aegyo but unknowingly does it and is good at it.

ೀ She dislikes being called “noona” by literally anyone, most especially the youngest members of the group. She understands it’s polite and customary to do so but she wasn’t raised in Korea, so being called “noona” just makes her feel old. However, Seungkwan, Vernon, and Dino still call her that out of habit— mostly Dino. Meanwhile, Minghao, Mingyu, and Dokyeom who have no reason to call her “noona” whatsoever because they are all born in the same year, like to tease her by calling her “noona.” Luna has gotten used to it though after all these years… she has gotten used to filtering them out.

ೀ Luna loves bunnies. They are her favorite animals and she loves the fact that she is often compared to one. She always wanted one growing up, however, her mom is allergic to fur which is why she never got one.

ೀ Luna loves the cold. Winter is her favorite season not just for the ambiance but because of the temperature. Some fans call her “Elsa” not only because of her cold appearance but also for her love of the cold.

ೀ Her body naturally runs warm which is why you would often see her holding onto Jeonghan’s hands who is the complete opposite and gets cold often.

ೀ Luna has a Lego addiction and the fact that her best friend turned boyfriend Jeonghan has it too doesn't help.

ೀ Luna had the biggest crush on Draco Malfoy as a child and Loki as a teen. During a fan sign, a fan asked her about her crushes and asked her why she liked the bad boys who were littered with red flags. Luna simply smirked and answered: “Red is my favorite color. Plus I have red-tinted glasses… couldn’t see.”

ೀ It is well known that Luna used to train for YG Entertainment for a year before moving to PLEDIS. Because of this fans speculate that if she stayed in her previous company, there would have been a chance she would have debuted with Blackpink.

ೀ S.Coups said in an interview that Luna had the “YG vibe” when she first joined PLEDIS— they could easily tell what company she was in before just by the way she carried herself and how she dressed.

ೀ Some people are surprised that she can rap and does well when the unit teams switch songs, especially with the Hip Hop Team. Luna trained to rap at YG Entertainment not because she wanted to but because her trainers claimed that she would do well as both a vocalist and a rapper.

ೀ According to Hoshi, Luna is very flexible in terms of her talents and claims that she could easily be in all of the sub-units if she wanted to.

ೀ Luna has a high pain tolerance which she claims to be both a blessing and a curse.

ೀ She has a terrible habit of fidgeting when she's anxious or nervous. You would often see her twisting the rings in her fingers, playing with her necklace, or cracking her knuckles which Jeonghan always scolded her for.

ೀ Her habits and Jeonghan’s habits go hand in hand. Because of her fidgeting and Jeonghan’s desire to always have something in his hand for emotional support— you would often see the two holding hands. Luna’s hands are for Jeonghan’s emotional support whilst Jeonghan’s hands are to stop Luna from fidgeting.

ೀ Luna’s favorite colors are red and pink because according to her red looks good on her and pink is, according to her, “red’s little sister”… which also looks good on her. And that these colors make her happy… it doesn't change the fact that half of the clothes she owns and wears often are black but that's beside the point.

ೀ She hates loud noises. She’s good with scary movies and doesn’t get scared easily during their GoSe horror specials— however, it’s the sudden loud noises that get her. Which is why you would often see her covering her ears when she gets startled.

ೀ She is a shopaholic it’s borderline problematic. Luna is one of the Instagram addicts of the members and is one of the fashionistas in the group— wherever they may travel, she has to buy an item of clothing… emphasizing “has to”.

ೀ Luna is the queen of eye contact. Whenever she is talking to anyone, you’d often see her staring straight into their soul— this causes a few of the members and mostly people outside the group to be flustered. According to Luna: “My parents taught me to always look at a person eye to eye when talking to them because it’s disrespectful not to. It’s actually a struggle for me to not maintain eye contact.”

ೀ She is part of the iron deficiency line.

ೀ She loves getting her nails done. Her nails are almost always freshly manicured.

ೀ Luna doesn’t drink often but when she does she is one of the members with the highest tolerance. However, despite her calm and quiet personality, she is a talkative drunk— she just rants about literally anything.

ೀ She is lowkey (highkey) obsessed with long, black-haired Jeonghan. Luna claims it’s his best hairstyle because it makes him look like a certain Marvel villain she had a huge crush on growing up… blonde Jeonghan is a close second for her… because… Draco Malfoy, duh (Luna acknowledges that she has a type.)

ೀ Luna is an amazing cook and likes cooking for the members, however she loves baking the absolute most.

ೀ She’s a huge One Direction fan.

ೀ Bows are her best friends. She always has a couple of bows lying around somewhere near her— cute little bows on her hair, tied to her bag, her outfits… the members’ stuff.

ೀ Luna absolutely hates it when someone leaves the door wide open. She cannot for the life of her wrap her head around the fact someone could open a door, walk into a room, and not close the door right back— every time someone does that, you’d see her eyes lingering on the door until someone notices and closes it.

ೀ If you want to piss her off and get cursed at in both English and Korean— wake her up, bonus points if you open the lights. Luna is a very disciplined and organized person. Whenever she needs to wake up early for shoots, performances, or for traveling purposes, she always sets an alarm— always. So she hates being woken up in her sleep for absolutely no reason.

ೀ And because of this, the members agreed that Luna is one of the scariest when angry.

ೀ Luna is quiet when angry. She’s naturally a quiet person but there is something about the silence when she’s angry— it’s different. It’s like you sense and feel her anger rather than see it.

ೀ Luna is an assertive person but completely deteriorates the second Jeonghan decides to baby her— she may act like it annoys her but both she and Jeonghan know… she loves being babied.

ೀ She’s not the jealous type… she’s the possessive type (Jeonghan’s ego is bigger than ever)

ೀ Her nicknames given by fans: “Ace”, “Elsa”, “Bunny”, “It Girl”, “Siren”, “Bubbles”, and “Baeby”

ೀ Her nicknames given by the members: “Jiyeonie”, “Lulu”, “Nie-Nie”, and “Princess” (whenever she’s being sassy or spoiled— she hates this nickname)

ೀ Her nicknames given by Jeonghan: “Nana”, “Angel”, “Angel-face”, “Pretty Angel”, “My Angel”, “My Moon”, “Baby Moon”, and “Pretty Girl” (Luna thinks that Jeonghan wants her dead cause he gets super creative with his nicknames for her)

ೃ⁀➷ comment or message me to be added to the tag list :)

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ SUBMIT A REQUEST AND ASK ME ANYTHING!

: ̗̀➛ requests are always open ♡ - selఌ

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[lookingforhappy]

thnk u @air--so--sweet for pointing out the tua prop auction, i am obssessed so ofc im now writing up my own transcripts for stuff. i bet someone else has done this but i couldnt find it so here's my record of it:

this is from Reginald's red book in s1 (i presume the dates are written day/month/year as Reginald is english)

transcript:

"#00.01 Behaviour Part 4 -When given opportunity, he acts in accordance to my expectations, and to my instruction, and only to my expectation and instructions. Further experiments needed to figure out the extent of his blind loyalty. -Unknowable at this time if this productive for the cause or detrimental for the cause. 4/03/01 Conducted experiment in which I sent #00.01 to this woods to watch for threats. Not only did he not ask about said threats, he found ways to come up with his own possible threats. He stood watch in a weak, slight base camp from dawn until dusk, without asking if he should stay on overnight. He is still there. -Is it truly best to have the best follower be the leader??"

transcript:

"5/09/01 Another experiment conducted in which I gave #00.01 an unknowable mission, but this time had him try to lead the team in his cause. I instructed #00.01 to take the team and patrol the state beach. Up and down. Until the threat revealed itself. Within hours all members had referred to pursue mission on such little intel. #00.01 never stopped. Even after the pleading from #00.03. Whom usually shows an emotional weakness for. #00.03 Abilities Part 3 -Makes one wonder if she is all the Umbrella Academy really needs. -Her full potential makes the rest of the team look like an afterthought. -How can I convince her the team needs her? Confounded at not being able to capture a non-existent opponent flag. Their petty feud seems to know no bounds. But if the feud motivates #00.02 in a way to suceed in that types of scale, so be it. Work-load Capacity Ranking 1-#00.05 (negated by disregard for rules and safety) 2-#00.01 (enhanced by propensity to protect siblings) 3-#00.03 (strength in collaboration) 4-#00.06 (follower) 5-#00.04 (untapped and unfocused potential) 6-#00.02 (could be 1st or 6th depending on mood) Discipline Notes -Physical pain yields best results with males. -Emotional trauma yields best results with #00.03 and Klaus. Especially when inflicted on others. -Separation from group does not work on #00.02."

transcript:

"-Sensory Statistics -Visual - 21.4% -Auditory - 8.7% -Kinesthetic - 69.9% -Disorders -Likely tendency toward Oppositional Disorder (ODD) -Maternal family history of possible sociopathy (seems incongruent to dynamics with Seven; background research ongoing ref p.49) -Phobias -Darkness -Solitude -Binds Effective Behaviours Modification Techniques"

edit 03/07/2024: spelling corrections 😬

my thoughts beneath the cut:

Pic 1

interesting that Reginald seems more interested in Luther's psychology, and whether it's a mistake for him to be the leader due to his blind loyalty and strict adherence to instruction (to me, Luther reads as somewhat autistic here, following rules to the letter, but this could also be a result of childhood abuse).

Reginald's interest in Luther's blind loyalty, and experimenting on him to test where or if he has a limit on said loyalty, is very similar to the moon mission. Reginald said there was a purpose to it in s3, but maybe the purpose was testing the extent of Luther's loyalty. Maybe he was waiting to see at what point would Luther actually start to ask his father questions, or make requests of him or even outright defy him. We know Luther had started asking for more food, but maybe Reginald was pushing him further, to see at what point he'd ask to come home.

Since Reginald didn't send any of the Sparrows to the Moon it would seem like Luther's moon mission was unneccessary, but to Reginald there was nothing more important than training the children. Since Reginald seems to doubt whether having a Follower be a Leader, maybe he was trying to force Luther into a position that would help him learn how to use his own initiative?

Pic 2

this one is a gold mine.

Luther once again cannot not follow instruction or leave his work unfinished, but he's also considered to be very protective of his siblings by Reginald (which is a good thing in Reginald's books).

Allison is desperate for him to stop, but also seems like she has self-worth or anxiety issues that Reginald is unable to cure her of, likely related to her feeling like people would hate her if they knew the real her.

Diego's feud with Luther over being no.1 wasn't intentional on Reginald's side, but he didn't discourage it either as he felt it motivated Diego. Which is probably related to the fact that Diego doesn't seem to work well without the group. He also says Diego could be no.1 if he sorted out his emotions, but he ranks him in last.

Five is marked top of the group, above even Luther, but he's too opposed to rules and safety in Reginald's eyes.

Ben seems to be keeping quiet and doing as he's told, which also seems to be a good thing to Reginald.

also interesting that Klaus is referred to by name not number, and is grouped with Allison rather than with the "males".

I don't think "physical pain" refers to torture or corporal punishment, but perhaps exhaustion or intense physical regimines? Mostly because Reginald seems extremely hands off with the kids.

Pic 3

It doesn't say who this entry is about but "Oppositional Disorder" and "sociopathy" seems most consistent with Five. and now that we know his mother was a butcher, she seems the most likely candidate to have been thought a sociopath.

(edit: Although, Klaus is also suggested to have ODD in S3, this doesn't seem consistent with the earlier entry mentioning he is more receptive to emotional pain and pain inflicted on others, than to physical pain inflicted to himself. Plus, Rachel seems very emotionally intelligent, and this entry points out a positive relationship with Viktor which has always been more Five's thing)

I don't agree with the sociopath diagnosis, but it seems Reginald is hestitant to diagnose it in the first place since he notes that Five has a good relationship with Viktor, probably meaning he's not devoid of empathy.

the Phobias is also interesting. Darkness, Solitude and Binds all suggest he was forced into similar situations as Klaus and Viktor, where he had to use his powers to escape cramped conditions. the fact that he notes Solitude is one of his phobias is also v sad all things considered. plus the fact that Five is the only Brelly to sleep on a separate floor to the other 6 siblings - maybe this was Reginald's attempt to cure him of this phobia?

[gb-patch]

Sorry to send another ask amongst the sea I'm sure you're receiving, but I find myself more concerned about Rose being a sensitivity reader as I find more information. One of Rose's friends continues to insist that the conversation about Tamarack and male MCs was part of a larger discussion about biphobia in the fandom. However, they claim that Rose's position is "people erase Tam's bi/pansexuality by refusing to portray [her] as being attracted to anything other than men." This explanation of Rose's belief is, in-and-of-itself, biphobic. It claims that portraying Tamarack as attracted to men erases her queerness. This is textbook biphobia and bi-erasure that I as a bisexual encounter every day. It is NOT a good-faith defense of a queer character. It reduces us down to our partners and makes the claim that if we end up in a relationship that's "straight-passing," we're erasing our queerness. Especially as a bi sapphic myself, it reduces my identity strictly to the perceived-man I'm dating, and not my inner or previous experiences, or those of my partner. It's very uncomfortable that Rose, a non-bisexual, was discussing this like they're defending Tamarack's queerness when they're doing the opposite.

This is a doubly strange position when Our Life is a game about the acceptance of love in all its forms. The conversation could be different, MAYBE, if Our Life was a TV show or a book or a comic. But this is a game where people are meant to play as characters of their own design. I do not feel confident about Rose being a sensitivity reader for a game with bi/pansexual love interests if these are their beliefs about bi/pansexuality, particularly if they're unable to adapt their opinions to be relevant to different formats of media; this shows they're lacking in skill in the areas of media literacy and critical thinking.

I’ve been trying to make a post that presents the concerns people have about this, but your ask touches on the points I was going to, and I’d say it’s better to have it said by a player than me deciding what people are thinking. So, this is something that I want to make clear- that I see this and other asks/comments about it. What you’ve said is something a lot of people are unsure and upset about. I am sorry that you feel so out of place in this community now. And I am also sorry to players of any sexuality who use a male MC. That comment dismissed players and Tamarack’s identity.

It did come from a longer discussion about bi-phobia issues. The overall feelings were “if people did only want Tamarack to be interested in men, I really wouldn’t like that and wouldn’t it be a funny concept if Tamarack then left them for a woman?”. The comment itself didn’t encompass that idea at all. It does not give a good impression about where they’re coming from. It was unkind.

The viewpoint Rose is trying to have isn’t that “Tamarack can never express an interest in men” which would be wrong, it’s “I stand by the fact that Tamarack is someone who wouldn’t only be interested in men and no one else”. If it’s true that Rose likes Tamarack being interested in all genders and doesn’t want her bi-ness to be forgotten, I’d say that’s an acceptable view. If the point actually is that Tamarack should only be with women and if she’s not than Tamarack is no longer bi or she’s a bad character, then you're right- that isn't acceptable and that is going to get someone removed from the project. I do believe Rose agrees with what you’re saying and means it when they say they want to stop bi-erasure, not participate in it for real. But they had a very harsh way of talking about it.

I understand that people don’t know Rose and this situation has made them believe they do seriously hold that first view. But from working with them, there’s never been any feedback that shows an opinion of the sort.

Right now, I think that comment was being edgy and making a quick, very poorly-worded quip to people they’d been chatting with about that topic already. Rose has left the GB Patch discord servers, they used to be a mod, and may or may not ever be back in there. Rose won’t make blog posts responding to players going forward. They’re going to take a break from this and then try to give helpful feedback. We’re going to see if things can be okay from here.

And with this coming up, we’re all really aware that it’s something to consider about the game. I’m going to be as conscious as I can for any advice that seems to go against the character’s identities and I’m going to question my own knee-jerk choices for how I handle things. Other sensitivity readers will be able to give their viewpoints as well, so will the players. If the game’s content isn’t welcoming or is biased people will notice, and I’ll be here to accept what I’ve done. I don’t want that to be the result of this, of course. I hope the game will be thoughtful and considerate, but I can’t fire Rose at this point to try doing that.

No one has to keep following the game, though. I’m sympathetic to anyone who is too uncomfortable with all this to stay around.

[edward-cabrini]

How To Write Characters With PTSD

This is your warning that potentially triggering topics will be discussed in this post.

First things first, this is a sensitive topic. Not all experiences of PTSD are the same, some people have very overt struggles others have something more internalized.

Writing characters with PTSD is pretty common. The struggle against personal trauma is very compelling after all. It can also be very cathartic for an author to write such characters. That's not to say characters should always succeed in overcoming their PTSD, not everyone does.

So how exactly does one write such a character? In this post we'll focus on 3 of my characters in my Dark Fantasy series. Lorcan, Maura, Ernin. As we do so I'll break down what their individual symptoms of their PTSD are. I don't think a simple how to guide could cover writing characters with PTSD. Simply googling what is PTSD and how does it present could get you those answers. Whether you agree or disagree with my representation of PTSD I hope you will agree that it is not the the totality of a character, merely one facet that can have a large impact upon them. There is no one size fits all guide for PTSD. It's a varied beast with many heads. Let your characters be vulnerable to it. Have them fight against it. Let them lose.

I will now cover each character and my depiction of their PTSD as it is presented in "The Curse of Want".

Ernin's Story Ernin plays the role of advisor and confidant to Lorcan. Some of that happens off page. What we see on page is someone who through no fault of their own had their family ripped away from them by people she was powerless to stop. Ultimately she had a good and happy childhood until her father was executed. As a fugitive she relied on her brute strength and skills to get by until she joins Fiachra's fian (warband). For an unspecified amount of time she serves in the vanguard of the fian at no point does she mention her traumatic event. Keeping silent on the topic until Lorcan joins the fian. Believing he might have had a similar experience as her. She joins him for training, tests and probes to confirm that he might understand. Only then does she reveal why she wanted to talk to him. This kind of avoidant behaviour is one of many PTSD symptoms. During a game of dice Ernin has more than a few angry outbursts and while that is also a symptom that is not part of her PTSD.

What is, is the gambling addiction. When I write scenes where she is playing dice she is always losing and always ready for another throw often explicitly stating that it's not luck that there is some skill to throwing dice. Ernin survived her ordeal though no small amount of luck. She was lucky to escape the church, she was lucky to run into Fiachra, she was lucky to have found a new home. She can't internalize that it both wasn't her fault and her escape was down to good luck. Otherwise it would mean she was entirely powerless as to her own fate. That feeling is not one easily rectified.

Maura's Story So what about Maura? Like Ernin she had a life outside of the war having grown up on a farm with her family as they they each steadily got drafted until there were too few of them to run the farm and money got tight. Maura exerts a lot of control over environment. She drills her men, she keeps the camp in order, she is Fiachra's right hand in the fian and was amongst his first recruits. What made her this way was her brother kidnapping her and then selling her to the highest bidder. Obviously all control was taken from her in violent fashion from someone she deeply trusted.

Throughout "The Curse of Want" we see her get increasingly irate with Lorcan as he disobeys orders and generally does what he wants without any care. This all stems from her phobia of losing control of any given situation. Unlike Ernin's self destructive nature, Muara's tendencies are a symptom of her PTSD. She actively puts herself in dangerous situations to try and keep some desperate grasp of control. Unfortunately for Maura she relives her experience when she finds a grooming gang. She could have called for guards, she could have called for help from the public, she could have done anything. However, the war she's fought through from childhood to adulthood has ended. Everyone is supposed to be safe. Her, Fiachra, and the fian made it so. As a result of her actions she does rescue the victims but she is now a mess, feelings of shame, guilt, terror, sickness. In an instant, Maura withdraws from everything and everyone believing she has ruined, not just her life, but the lives of her friends. Though she is entirely unharmed physically her mental state is not good, to put it mildly. What I want to point out here is that the breakdown wasn't borne of some spontaneous flashback. Maura has repeatedly exerted control and admonished Lorcan for his wanton murder and reckless behaviour; yet when confronted by her trauma head on she did exactly what he would have.

Lorcan's Story Last but not least we have Lorcan. Ernin and Maura have very internalized PTSD, it's most present in certain situations as they have had the time to try and adjust. Lorcan however is very much so. not in that same boat. He has is own personal post battle rituals to bring himself back to his baseline self. He is very action oriented and violent. He's distrustful and cynical. He makes no attempts to let anyone get close or to be closer to other people.

Lorcan has been through serval ordeals as a child. He grew up with his mother being regularly abused by his adoptive father then she was raped and murdered when illness took over. He himself was beaten by his father and raped by a member of his father's warband. After murdering his father and running away from the warband he roams the frontlines as a mercenary waiting for the next job that may or may not kill him. I don't feel great having to summarize it so succinctly but there is no gentle way to approach Lorcan's trauma. It's front and centre in a lot of his actions and needs stating clearly.

We've already discussed how PTSD can make you more reserved or reckless. There is however another side entirely that is worth considering. Maura faced her trauma in a very direct one to one situation. Lorcan however finds a lone child trying to survive winter by stealing from a wealthy family. It's his job to police the town with the rest of the fian that winter and though he doesn't want to, he must arrest the child. However, he then takes a series or risky actions in order to try and get some money to the boy in order to help. A great deal of Lorcan's trauma stems from his failure to protect his mother and the abuse his adoptive father put him through. Lorcan regularly displays a compulsion to rescue those in need and to murder those who seem to align with his abusers. PTSD doesn't make people good or bad, it just informs their decisions. Lorcan is very good at solving problems with his sword, it's all he's ever known. Unlike Maura and Ernin he was born directly into the war and had no life outside of it's confines.

[demon-country]

"Stolas is a worse dad than Blitz, because when Stolas was about to die he chose Loona over him."

The situations were completely different, you can't actually compare them in that way.

1) In Western Energy, Blitz was going to go save Stolas, but was able to send Moxxie and Millie instead, freeing him up to stay with Loona.

In Mastermind, Blitz was in imminent danger. As in, by the time Stolas saw what was happening there was only about a minute until Blitz was going to be decapitated. There was no one to send in his place and no one else could've gotten there in time even if there was.

2) Loona had a hospital appointment she couldn't go to on her own due to her extreme phobia of needles, and it would have been years before she could get it again if she missed it (unless Stolas pulled some strings).

Octavia was not in danger and had no pressing need for Stolas to be by her side. He was also implied to have set things up so that, should he die before she's legally an adult, she'd still be well off and protected to the best of his abilities. She'd be heartbroken, yes, but her assets and future would be secure. (It's no substitute for a loving parent, of course, but it'd allow her some freedom to do as she pleased, like not being forced to marry someone against her will.)

3) Fighting Striker wouldn't be, and wasn't, a sure death sentence. He's good at what he does, but he's just one guy who can be fought.

Stolas didn't have the time or knowledge to come up with a good defense, and even if he did the court wouldn't have cared, because they were bored, hungry, and don't care enough about imps, due process, or doling out real justice to be bothered listening to a nerdy bird attempt to be a lawyer for some uppity imp trying to rise above his station. Putting all of the blame on himself and making a big, flashy production about how he's some cunning manipulator who thinks he's above the law and Blitz is just a worthless pawn to force them to pay attention to him was his only real option if he wanted Blitz to make it out alive.

And even if Stolas did let Blitz die, then he undoubtedly would have spiraled into an even deeper depression, riddled with guilt, grief, and self-loathing. Because that's what happens when you have precarious mental health and watch the love of your life be executed, knowing you could maybe have done something to stop it, but didn't even try. Which, you know, also would have hurt Octavia, because it's not easy seeing your parent in that state. Neither choice would have spared Octavia the pain of losing her father, at least temporarily, and people would still be calling him a bad dad for letting his mental illness affect his relationship with her.

Also, did people not see the way Blitz was begging Stolas not to take the fall for him? He absolutely would have re-taken his place on the chopping block if it meant Stolas didn't have to die. Then Loona would be down her only parent, with Blitz actively choosing Stolas first, because Stolas was seemingly about to die and M&M had already promised to take care of her. You know, exactly like Stolas in this episode.

Blitz would have been in the same sinking mental health boat if Stolas died, as well, except he did try to save him (or more accurately, get him to save himself) it was just entirely fruitless. The man nearly ran his company into the ground because they broke up, he'd fall completely apart if another person he loves died "because of" him (in his eyes), this time without even knowing that Blitz loves him.

When push came to shove, when someone they love was about to die right in front of them and they felt secure with the knowledge that their child would be okay without them (eventually), they both attempted to sacrifice themselves instead. And they both would have been inconsolable wrecks if the other had actually died. There were no good options, they were just trying to make it so that everyone they loved made it out alive, even though putting themselves in the line of fire was the only realistic way of doing that.

[fancyfeathers]

Yandere!Batboys as Villains with Robin!Darlings AU Masterlist

Bro I had an idea for this AU, what if some of the rouges like Scarecrow, Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, Riddler were good in this AU, like they never became villains or enemies of Batman and or even allies of the Robins.

Like I could imagine that Dick’s darling developing extreme claustrophobia (fear of enclosed spaces) and hemophobia (fear of blood), along with a number of other traumas and phobias after being kidnapped and missing for over a month. It gets so bad for her that it does not just impact her vigilante work but even her day to day civilian life. So Bruce makes a few calls, looking for someone who may be able to help her in her current mental state and stumbles upon a psychologist who is a current professor at Gotham University and has a specialization in phobias, Dr. Jonathan Crane.

In this AU he would not be obsessed with fear like he is in other iterations of him, but instead due to his own trauma that his father put him through, he wants to help people who have gone through other highly traumatic experiences. So when he gets the call from Bruce Wayne about his adopted daughter and the things she had gone through, he accepts almost instantly, besides her story about getting kidnapped by a serial killer with a hero complex and highly unstable emotions was everywhere in Gotham.

He would drive to Wayne Manor after his lectures everyday and sit down and have sessions with Dick’s darling, psycho analyzing her and moving in to break down her trauma to get to the root problem. But he hears the stories about what exactly happened to her from her adoptive father, the GCPD files he got access to for her case, and then from her and then the things that happened to her is anyone’s worse nightmare.

Eventually they do make progress and after that is when Bruce green lights her for patrol again and that is how he finds out her identity. Dick’s darling saved his life during a mass attack on the city, she swings him out of the way and when she sets him down in a back alley and immediately makes sure he is okay is when everything clicks in place, he knows her mind inside and out by that point so when she is about to leave…

“Get somewhere safe, a basement or-“

“We’re going to discuss this at our next session, yes?”

“You knew?!”

I can picture Poison Ivy in this AU as a friend from school to Jason’s darling, a law major and a biology major hitting it off. They were originally supposed to be roommates but with the chaos that the life of a bat brings, Jason’s darling commutes to school. They are really close friends and a lot of their classmates joke that Jason’s darling is like Pamela’s sugar mama since she has access to Bruce Wayne’s credit card and she likes spoiling her friends.

In this AU, Pamela never becomes Poison Ivy but still she is an ally of her college friend. She found out about the identity of Jason’s darling when she was walking back to her dorm and she finds the injured vigilante hiding out behind the engineering building and immediately takes her inside to hide her and the mask accidentally falls off and there is a long awkward silence and…

“Is this why you dropped me as your roommate at the last minute?!”

“Um… ya…”

“…you bitch.”

Along with Ivy in this AU, I think Jason's darling would be friends with Edward Nygma, like I imagine him as another college student in this AU, a psychology major with an english minor, and it would be a trio with Ivy and Jason's darling. Unlike Ivy, I imagine he figures out her secret identity very quickly, so when he sees her as a vigilante, running and pretty badly injured at night, he just pulls his car over and yells at her to get in.

"Does everyone and their mother know my identity?"

"What, like it was hard?"

I also think it would be somewhat funny if they started helping her or became small-time vigilantes themselves. So say one time Jason's darling gets kidnapped by Jason most likely, Edward causes a distraction while Ivy knocks the goons out, so just Edward just walks up and like...

"I crack when I’m weary, tingle when I’m scared and stretch when I’m proud. What am I?"

"Really?"

"What?! You asked me to distract them!"

Or like the idea of Edward setting up traps to delay enemies so Jason's darling can move quicker but accidentally ends up catching the Batman in it and it is just a look of pure fear on Edward's face as he tries to apologize.

[see-arcane]

Seeing the Nosferatu and Creature of The Black Lagoon remake summaries reminds me that heterosexual Monster movie summaries are like "The intense and tragic and erotic encounter between a Lagoon creature/vampire/demon/victorian zombie and a woman he is infatuated with." When will the monster be the woman.

Seriously. So fucking seriously. The most I can think of off the top of my head are one-off bogeywomen who never brush the mainstream.

First off, monster women. Not sexy waifu vampire girl with baby fangs meets Average Everyman and they do kissing about it. Real monster women. Who are decayed, or ugly, or inhuman, or outright horrifying. Even just a visibly cadaverous revenant babe ala Warm Bodies' R or Lisa Frankenstein's Creature. Where are they? Where the hell are the actually monstrous monster women?

I know The Ritual has Moder the Jotunn and her badass giant chimera god utterly non-human look. She does some killing, as one does. But we only actually learn she was female from outside sources, not in the film itself. When Moder is referred to as 'a god' the assumption is male, rather than just calling her 'a goddess.' Feels like a cheat.

There's Jenifer from Masters of Horror, based off the comic from Creepy by Bruce Jones and Bernie Wrightson. Her whole deal is being 1) Unavoidably uncannily grotesque and 2) Capable of some depraved shit via simple violence or using her psychic ability to orchestrate some very very unpleasant intimate interludes (and tragic demises).

I know the V/H/S movies have gotten a good handful in, some Medusas and body horror babes, but always in the form of those brief one-shot anthology bits. There and gone. They had an exception with Lilith (the type who starts as Pretty Girl and transforms into Something Else) who appears in the first movie with "Amateur Night" and got her own standalone movie with Siren, which I thought was a really well done sexual/amorous horror story--one in which the woman is the unambiguous predatory monster seeking and assaulting a man as her human crush-target. ...And is also barely known to the horror community.

There's the nightmare shit that happened to the protagonist of Bite. The full movie is here. Do not--Do NOT--watch if you have any phobias to do with insects, disease, reproduction or slow transformative body horror. This is the daughter of Cronenberg's The Fly and The Metamorphosis' pure misery. Good god.

And...that's it. That is the full roster of visibly monstrous females on film I have in my memory.

Second thing: Romance. Human Guy and Monster Lady.

Literally the only thing that comes to mind is 1) Corpse Bride with the Most Hourglassed and Beestung Pout Lipped Cadaver You Have Ever Seen and 2) Spring (2014). The latter I haven't seen yet, but the premise is very clearly Legit Monster Babe and Smitten Lover. Kudos.

Everything else I've come across is just Hot Chick has Fangs and the guy is a guy. No genderswapped Beauty and the Beast. No scaly hulking Ladycreature of the Lagoon pining for a young man taking a swim. No eldritch/demonic horror-woman forming a relationship with a male admirer who has heart eyes despite (or because of) her power and monstrosity.

There is no equivalent of Nosferatu with a female villain being gruesome yet intoxicating to her young man victim.

There is no equivalent of Lisa Frankenstein or otherwise romantic fairy tale between a scary bogeywoman and a handsome--dare we dream, pretty--gentleman.

It simply does not happen in the mainstream and rarely if ever in the niche indie efforts.

And I'd ask why, but like. We know why.

Who wants to see a frightening woman as the powerful villain?

Who wants to see a frightening woman as a romantic partner?

Who wants to see a frightening woman?