#doesn't post for 7 months and drops this one thing

[orchidyoonkook]

To What We Were Before, And All The Things After | JJK | Ch. 7

Title: Hard Goodbyes and Favourite Colours

Pairing: Prince!College Student!JK x Fine Arts Major!(F)!Reader

Series Rating//Genre: (M) | College AU, Mild Royalty AU, Smut, Angst, Fluff, S2F2L, Indiffernce to lovers, sloooowwww ass burn

Summary: Nel flies home, Yuri flies back, Jungkook can't stop thinking about the other night. And you? Gods, don't even get me started.

Warnings: T, language, fluff (?), angst, reader is ~not~ okay for a chunk of this, bye bye Nel! it was nice to meet you, Yuri being the bestie she is, playful antagonism, JK thinking a lot, some photography technical words but nothing scary, reader is painting again, shocker.

Word Count: 4,463

Release Date: July 9, 2024. 2:00PM

A/N 1: Hi this was supposed to be released like a month and a half ago but then i went to europe and my brain was anywhere but near electronics. Anywhooo here she is, as always thanks for waiting and I'll try to be more consistent now that post vacation depression has kicked in.

Series: Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six

Sometimes life works out incredibly conveniently for you, like when Nel’s flight leaves a half hour before Yuri’s gets in at the same airport. 

But then it sucks again as your week with Nel flies by so quickly it feels like you’ve had no time at all while also having so much because of all the new memories you’ve both made. 

Currently in a rideshare and airport bound, because you will be in no way okay to drive back, your grip on Nel’s hand is strangling as you take in every last second of time you can get with him. He keeps giving kisses to your forehead, nose, cheeks, mouth; anywhere he can get access to really. 

He doesn't want this week to end just as much as you don’t. Fuck this fucking sucks so much.

The driver pulls up to the terminal drop off, and you both exit. Nel grabs his bag from the trunk, now filled with little mementos from your week as well as his clothes. A pressed flower from the greenhouse, museum postcards, a doodle you did for him while he was sketching, and more, all tucked away for safekeeping. All the only physical things he can hold onto until he sees you next. 

Walking into the airport, you make your way up to the check in desk, paperwork already in hand. Nel checks in and you request an escort pass, determined to spend every last moment together. 

There’s a lump forming in your throat that you’re trying to swallow. It’s thick, like a ball of unending peanut butter you can’t get down. And your chest feels like a black hole has opened inside of it, right where your heart is supposed to be. Every second that ticks away allowing another drop of the warmth you have with him to be sucked right out of your sternum.

Painful doesn’t even begin to describe this feeling. 

As beautiful as your week was, the reality of the present is setting in, and the closer you get to his gate, the closer you are to tears. You’re trying your best to blink them away, but you won’t be seeing him until winter break, and even then, that’ll only be for a day or two at most before you have to wait till summer to see him again. So it might as well be goodbye for those full 6 months.

It hurts. It hurts so bad to have to go through this over and over again, to have this separation from the one you love, even if it’s only temporary. Funny how temporary can sometimes feel like forever when you’re in the middle of it. 

Funny how the concept of temporary doesn’t make the gash in your heart open any less.

You don’t want him to go, but you know he has too. The faster he goes, the faster he can come back to you. 

You hate that he has to go in the first place. You just want him to stay. Please, just stay.

But he can’t. 

You reach his gate and before you know it, his flight’s being called to board and your tears refuse to stay inside any longer, the lump succeeding in its plot of victory. They spill down your cheeks in silent rivers, wet splotches on the neckline of your shirt forming as they flow. 

Maybe they’ll create a little lake in the hole he’s leaving you with. There’s certainly enough of them to fill it. Something to fill the void a little until you can see him again.

Nel takes one look before scooping you into a crushing hug, a desperate echo of the one from a week ago. His own tears now staining.

“I love you so much,” he says. You don’t see his eyes squeeze shut, nor do you see him memorizing your smell, as he kisses the top of your head. And his voice wobbles as he whispers, “It’s not forever, it’s just for now.” 

He says those words every time you two part, whether it was for a day or a year. Never goodbye or so long. Never see you later. 

They’ve always been a small comfort in otherwise shitty situations. 

“Just for now,” you get out through quiet sobs, gripping onto him even tighter as you shake. 

It takes you a couple deep breaths before you can say anything without breaking. “I love you too. Please be safe, message me when you land, and do well on your final exams.”

He smiles at that last bit, and your tears free themselves again. You’re going to miss seeing that smile in person.

Nel pulls you in once more, tighter. “It’s always harder when my good luck charm is halfway across the world, but I’ll manage.” Your sobs stutter with a broken laugh, and you’re pretty sure his sweater is going to have tear stains on it. “I promise I’ll message as soon as I can. And I’d wish you luck but you never need it. You always do well.”

The announcement for final boarding calls and both of you freeze in each other's arms. You don’t want him to go. He doesn’t want to go.

But he has too. 

You separate only enough to kiss. It’s messy and wet and gross, but you don’t care. It’s the last one you’ll have for a while and you never want it to end. 

But it does. 

Nel pulls away, and you reluctantly let him. He grabs his bag with one hand, the other holding onto both of yours as he backs away until he can no longer reach. Your arms drop to your sides with the traces of his warmth on your skin.

You watch as the boarding crew welcomes him on, and he takes one look back at you. 

You wave, mouthing ‘I love you.’

He mouths ‘I love you’ right back, and turns the corner.

You waited for Yuri at her terminal after dropping off Nel and taking five—okay ten—minutes to violently sob in the bathroom. 

She took one look at your half smile and puffy eyes and smothered you in a hug. Smelling like sunshine and ocean water, it was exactly what you needed. 

“It’s okay Sweets, you’ll see him again before you know it. This year will pass by so fast, just you see,” she tells you through your whimpers, the tears having returned the second her arms were around you.

They dry sometime on the way home. It was a thirty minute ride back to school, and they fell silently for a solid twenty before you even got in.

You hate goodbyes. 

But Yuri’s seen this three times now, and she always knew that a warm drink and junk food were in your immediate shared futures when she did. Screw healthy coping methods. It may be 9:30pm on a Sunday night, but that won’t stop you from downing a pint as you drown your sorrows in sweet, sweet cookies n cream. 

Yuri also knows you need a distraction, so she doesn’t hold back on telling you every detail of her vacation. 

The duke from a few weeks ago had been a dud. ‘Shit personality and even shittier sex’ according to Yuri. No consultation needed. 

But this new guy from the Ilcalos Islands sounds promising. He’s a Count of something she can’t remember but in her words, “big heart and even bigger dick.” 

That makes you giggle. And you’re happy for her. 

“Bitch, the second night he did this thing with his tongue and an ice cube and oh. my. god. I think I’m in love. That man could do whatever he wanted to me and I’d still say thank you afterwards,” she’s rambling at this point and you’re mentally apologizing to the driver for having to hear all of it. 

You, on the other hand, don’t mind at all; gladly welcome it actually. You want your mind anywhere other than the present right now. 

You don’t want to start crying all over again. By the morning you’ll be fine, you’ll have let out everything you needed too. But between then and now, it’s a matter of mentioning the wrong words or seeing an intriguingly designed building that could trigger those pesky tear ducts.

So you listen to Yuri go on and on about this guy, all his techniques and what she hasn’t been able to stop thinking about since she last saw him. His number is already saved in her phone under a very inappropriate name, but you expect nothing less from her. 

You love her for it. For this. 

For knowing what you need to stay afloat right now and not allowing you to throw the anchor overboard with your leg chained to the end.

You really fucking hate goodbyes. 

You’re staring at him. 

Like, full on, no bars held, staring at him. 

And Jungkook’s pretending he doesn’t notice.

You’re sitting in your chair and he’s back in his beside you at greenhouse cafe. Your half done painting of pink flowers sits in front of you, his laptop screen’s filled with this week's newly assigned ‘Studio Portrait Techniques 1’ homework. 

His half finished coffee on his table. An empty pastry bag on yours.

His hands on his keyboard, yours gripping a brush.

And you’re staring at him. 

He’s hoping it’s because this is the first time you’ve seen him since Nel left. 

But it’s probably to do with the fact that he hasn’t looked at you once today. Or the fact that he’s barely spoken at all when he usually can’t seem to shut up when it’s been more than 48 hours since he last saw you. 

Because it’s also the first time he’s seen you since he was with Adaline, imaging she wasn’t Adaline.

“You’re acting weird,” you say.

“No I’m not,” he responds a little too quickly, eyes still focused on his computer.

Yes he is. He really, totally is. 

“Yes you are, you won't look at me and you’ve barely said two words since I got here.” Well your knack for observancy is still intact.

Normally that's a good thing, but right now?

“Did I do something wrong?”

No. No you didn’t.

He did.

He let his emotions get the best of him in a moment of weakness. He let himself become so overwhelmed with feelings he isn’t allowed to have. He let them win for a single night.

And now if he isn’t paying the goddamned consequences. 

After that night with Adaline, Jungkook had woken up filled with regret. He’d crossed a line he didn’t even know he should have drawn in very dark, very permanent ink.

For letting himself, just for one moment, imagine what it would be like to be with…

And things are harder than ever to shove down now. He can’t look even look at you without thinking about it. About what he did. What he wanted. 

Wants.

Fuck, he’s in over his head.

Jungkook forces himself to look at you, putting his years of social training and emotional masking to good use. It sure as hell came in handy during times like this.

Because you can never know. 

He can’t lose you because he's unable to get his shit together. It’s not your fault he feels like this. 

So he lies. Both to you and to himself, hoping it might help him believe it.

“Nothing’s wrong Dali, just focused on my work is all. We got assigned a big project on Monday and I’m planning out all my shoots.”

You look hesitant, like you can see right through his bullshit excuse that was only a half excuse because this project is massive. 

“If you say so,” your tone implying you don’t believe him, but thankfully, you let it go and lean closer to him to see. He pretends his breathing doesn’t hitch, “What’s the project?”

“It’s my final assignment for a class, I have to do a series of five portraits. Each one with a different style, capturing a different emotion, and they all have to be of the same subject to show the true versatility of my work. It’s easy to make things look different when it’s different people being photographed,” he explains.

Therefore, this assignment, and all of its working parts, is huge. He’s glad it’s due in the middle of December because it’s going to take him almost a month of planning to get it all together; backdrops, concepts, costumes, previsualization, focal lengths, props, equipment, lighting setups, etc. And then when the planning is over: to shoot, narrow down and edit. 

But that’s the point of it. To have the students demonstrate they know how to effectively expand on the definition of a ‘portrait’ instead of having one concept in mind and sticking to it. 

‘To broaden your creative approaches to seemingly simple constructs,’ as his professor would say.

He loves the way this professor does assignments. How she layers them so that not only does he learn how to shoot multi-concept ideas for the same project type, allowing him to add to his creative portfolio, but they also force him to break out of the expected conclusions for an idea and think outside the box. 

“Oh wow, that is a lot,” you say. Because you understand long running projects. 50 hour paintings don’t just happen in a day. “Do you have any ideas yet?”

“Yeah! I have them all already, actually,” he turns his computer towards you and you see a point by point list of summarized ideas.

- Bright and bold - happy, bright smile, colourful gels - Black and white, soft light: gel or bounce? Silk diffuser  - profile with water falling on face - relieved - Focused on passion - candid, regular colour. Diffuser? Or silk flag? - Normal colour profile, stark lighting - serious, front facing body, profile facing left, no visible clothing, “regal” _|(_*-*)>_. Flag.  - Mysterious - black background, white smoke, barely visible model, lower half of face painted black, upper half white, striking purple eyes (contacts?). Flags. Gels? 

“I’m really excited for this project,” he says, “it’s just the prep that’s going to take a while. Getting it all mapped and planned out. It’s mostly concepts right now.”

You nod, understanding once again. Though very different mediums, visual arts and photography are similar in many ways. 

“Adaline going to be your model?”

It doesn’t surprise him you think that, but he has no intentions of ever using Adaline for assignments or homework. 

“Actually, I… uhh…” he trails off. Jungkook’s trying to get the words out, he is. But they’re surprisingly difficult for some reason, and getting caught in his throat. 

Which makes his earlier anxious state come back in full force. 

It shouldn't be this difficult. It won’t be the first, second or fifth time he’s asked you.

Get the words out Jeon. Put on your professional face, this is nothing new.

He fails, instead, his voice comes out barely above a whisper as he says, “I was going to ask you if you would.”

You somehow hear him. 

“Me?” you look dumbfounded. 

“Yes, you.” He’s always used you for homework assignments before, so he’s not sure why all of a sudden this is surprising. Maybe because it’s a final assignment versus a weekly one? The effort will be greater? 

“But you have Adaline? I assumed that she would take up the position of model when you guys started going out.”

Oh. That makes more sense. 

But that is one mistake he won’t be making again, because he did ask Adaline. 

Once.

It was recent, Nel was still here and he didn’t want to disturb you because of that. Plus Jungkook was just trying to get a jump on his upcoming assignments anyway, taking a page from your book.

So he asked Adaline. And she leapt at the opportunity, like he expected.

What he didn’t expect, was when she essentially directed, staged, lit and posed every. single. shot. so that she would look her best. 

All he did was click the capture image button when she said too. 

And after the shoot, before he could even think to look at the pictures, Adaline was already there, holding his camera, going through them and deleting any picture she deemed ‘ugly.’

He was left with less than 20 images from the shoot where he was ordered to take over 200. And she even made him switch out one of the three he narrowed down for one she liked better. 

So no, he would not be asking Adaline to model. 

Ever again.

“Nah. You’re a lot easier to work with because you don't care how the pictures turn out, and let me do my thing. Adaline cares a bit too much, and has to have approval on all of them before I submit.”

You snort. “Seriously? Is she that self absorbed?” a quirked brow places itself on your face to match the smirk now on your mouth.

That’s new.

Your tone towards Adaline has always been neutral, if not a bit sharp when he talks about her. 

But this one? It’s like you know her, and knew she was like that, but didn’t know it was this severe. 

Adaline is very popular...maybe you two met and it didn't go well?

It certainly sounds like you don’t like her, if those six words were anything to go by. Which, he guesses they shouldn’t, but he knows you well enough by now to know the difference.

And if he’s honest, that wouldn’t shock him in the slightest. You two are nothing alike, and thank god for that. 

He covers for Adaline, like any boyfriend would. Though it stings a little bit.

“She’s just careful about what images could be leaked to the press. Can’t really blame her for that.”

Your face changes minutely, as if a second of understanding passes through before you turn to go back to your painting, and mutter, “no, you can’t,” placing a splash of pink on a flower. 

He returns to his work as well, switching the portrait assignment out for a different one. He needs to get his mind off it for a while before circling back. 

And the fact that you didn’t answer him. 

Deciding on a Design and Visual Culture assignment due next week, he dives in head first, resuming his earlier state of focus and avoidance.

Jungkook’s editing a picture when you stretch. 

You often hunch over your work, so you try to stretch every 30 minutes or so. Your arms are in the air and he catches a peek at the nearly finished floral study. 

They’re some kind of vibrant pink dangling flowers, and you’ve captured the likeness of them quite well, to no surprise of his, so he goes to compliment it but you beat him to the punch.

“Shots blurry.”

Jungkook does a double take at his laptop screen. He’d spent the better part of 40 minutes editing the image and hadn’t noticed that.

Because it’s not. It’s perfectly crisp and clear.

When he looks back to you, you have a shit eating grin on your face. 

Ah, he knows that look. 

You love to tease him about little things like that, giving him mini heart attacks. ‘Pay back for that first day,’ you claim. 

Well…

Two can play this game, so he plays off your comment.

“Oh, you're right. Thanks,” and he switches to another image. 

Your grin falters but you recover quickly.

“No problem.”

See, while you know how to playfully harass him about his pictures, Jungkook knows how…particular you are about your colours. How they need to be labelled correctly instead of by their umbrella terms like ‘blue’ or ‘red.’ Because blue or red could mean any one of the dozens of ‘sub colours.’

‘It’s not blue, it’s cerulean,’ you’d remark. 

‘That’s not red, it’s burgundy,’ you’d correct him.

You’re always correcting him, and it makes his pants tighten a little bit every time. But that’s on the other side of the line he does not cross anymore. A nice, big, fat, permanent, protective line. 

Jungkook settles for a more subtle method of attack. Using this little fact and your ridiculously extensive knowledge of flowers against you. 

He never thought the defense and attack lessons his father put him through would come in handy like this. But he’s glad for them now. It was the only time he could ever outsmart you.

He gestures to your canvas. “Those pink flowers are pretty, what are they called?” 

“Their common name is Lady’s Eardrop. And they’re magenta.”

Hook, line, sinker. 

He doesn’t even have to try, you walk right into it every time.

“Lady’s eardrop? That’s a weird name…do they come in other colours besides pink?”

You don’t look up as you reply. 

“Magenta, and yeah. Some are plum and magenta, some are a buttery white and magenta, and then some have this like, almost dark tangerine hue, but they’re a different type, longer. Not the same as those,” you point with the end of your brush to the greenhouse, where the fully magenta lady’s eardrop sits in the window. 

“And are these pink ones your favourite?” he’s really trying his best to keep a straight face as yours contorts with an eye twitch at every use of the word.

“They’re. Magenta. And sure, but the plum ones are pretty too.”

“Noted, the pink lady's eardrop are your favourite among eardrops.”

You break, turning to him, voice raising in minor annoyance. Jungkook bites his cheeks to keep a smile at bay.

“They are magenta. Not pink. Pink entails a lighter hue, there’s more titanium white in pink. That,” you point again, “is very clearly, magenta.”

He has to. 

He can’t help it. 

You’re sexy when you're assertive, he thinks. Tip toeing on that nice, big line.

But also hilarious. 

“Same difference.”

He can see the fire in your eyes blaze.

“No, not ‘same difference,’ they’re magenta!”

He’s leaning in. “Pink,” eyeing your lips as you speak. 

You lean in too, enunciating every syllable to prove your point. “Ma-gen-ta.”

Your noses are mere inches from touching. 

“They’re pink, Van Gogh,” he backs off before he does something stupid that he’ll regret, “Don’t get so invested.”

You back off too, sass still very evident when you reply, “They’re fucking magenta, asshat. Two completely different colours and you’ll label them as such around me.”

You’ve always had a mouth on you. One you aren’t scared to use when necessary, especially around him. So he doesn’t push any farther, knowing he’s already gotten what he wanted and then some. 

But also because sitting has become slightly uncomfortable. There was a stiff breeze, he tells himself.

Thank god for baggy, oversized hoodies. 

Returning once again to his work, he puts an elbow on the table and places his hand on the left side of his face to hide the massive smile that’s trying its best to turn into a smothered laugh.

Unfortunately for him, he lets his Princely guard down around you and so he forgets to force it down to an uncomfortable degree like he would at the palace. His laugh slipping out as a strangled noise and he quickly turns it into a cough, hoping you don't notice. 

But you do, because it’s you. Of course you do.

And the look on your face is priceless.

“You did that on purpose!”

“What?” he says way too high pitched. “Nooo, I would never, one hundred percent intentionally, say pink just to get back at you for pointing out the non-existent blur in my perfectly clear picture.”

He can see you trying to control your features, can see you failing and giving up by facing your canvas again, smiling to yourself.

“I was wondering how many times I could get you to say it. I think that was somewhere around ten? Gotta be a new record.”

You roll your eyes at him, but your quirked mouth remains. 

“You’re such a dick,” you quip.

“Yet, you like me anyways.”

You mumble something incoherent.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

“Awe, c’mon now. Fess up.”

A pause, before, “I said I just remembered I don’t know your favourite colour.”

No you most certainly did not, but he’ll let it slide.

“Black.”

“Ugh, boring.”

“What?”

“Boring,” you say again with absolutely no hesitation and proceed to grace his eyes with your own. “And technically not a colour. Black’s a shade.”

Jungkook offers up a non-smothered chuckle, saving his throat from further shenanigans.

“Whatever, Seurat, it’s still black. What about you? What’s Miss High and Mighty All Knowing of Colours’ favorite?”

“It’s still a shade,” you repeat.

“It’s still my favourite. Answer the question,” he presses. 

You give him an unimpressed stare. 

“Violet. Royal violet. The one your dad wears a lot,” your expression softens to one of wonder as you continue. Like you didn't just refer to the King of the nation you live in as ‘his dad’ so casually. “And when it’s not that, it’s this bright yellow. Like sunflowers or daffodils. Or the colour leaves turn in the fall when the light hits them from above just right.”

It’s Jungkook's turn to stare now. You look lost in your own head, envisioning the colours you describe, seeing them dancing in your eyes. And he can’t help himself, you glow when you speak about something you're passionate about.

“Why two?” 

“Why not?” you answer, still dreaming, colours swimming in oceans of thought. Your voice is almost whimsical. “Don’t you get bored of one colour for too long? It’s nice to switch things up every now and then.”

His reply brings you back down to earth, albeit slowly.

“Red.”

“Hmm?” you touch ground.

“If you won’t accept black, then red. The rich dark one, like blood.” He chose the first colour that came into mind, not really caring which one. 

He did like red. Red looked good in many ways. On cars, clothes, lips...

But he chose the first one that popped into mind because after hearing your favourite colours and the reasons why, he started to like them more than all the others too.

“Red’s a great choice, strong,” you say, allowing him the blanket term just this once.

“Thanks.”

There’s a moment of comfortable quiet between you before you break it.

“When do you need me for the shoot?”

Jungkook’s eyebrows find his hairline. 

That was a yes, right? You’re saying yes?

“Uhm…soon, I’ll let you know the specifics when I do.”

“Sounds good.”

He was going to leave it at that, but adds, “Thanks, Y/N.”

He hasn’t said your name since the assembly. 

Always nicknames when talking to you. Always. 

Never your name. 

Not once in two months. Almost three.

You—

An inhale.

You…like it.

The way it sounds coming from his lips.

Exhale.

Chapter Eight: Photo Shoots and Blasphemous Discoveries

A/N 2: She's shorter but chapter 8 is like 11k so far, so I hope that makes up for it!

A/N 3: As always, Thank you for reading, loves. Xoxo - Yoon <3

<- Back

[ms-demeanor]

IDK that I've ever put it in one post before, but here's the transplant speedrun.

1 - Valentines day 2021, he's admitted to the hospital. We take a pre-hospital selfie then I shave his head and he shaves his beard because he doesn't want to deal with hair at the hospital. Me and his mom drop him off; at that point you can only visit someone as they are actually dying and we're told that he's going to stay in the hospital until he gets a transplant or he dies, and if he's rejected as a transplant recipient he'll receive palliative care in this hospital.

2 - First week of March, they allow patients to have one screened visitor; this is our first visit - I take photos in the hospital to show his mom because at this point he has a pump in his shoulder and it is difficult for him to move his arms to use his phone. He has also been confined to a bed since the week he arrived because he's on the ECMO machine, so he can't walk or move around, though they stand him up every once in a while. At one point one of the ecmo tubes pulls out of his femoral artery, which is Not! Great! He also needed a blood transfusion about every two days at that point, which worried the doctors because it increased his likelihood of rejecting. But he had been approved for transplant at that point!

The first thing he said to me on this visit was "look, I have abs" and then he showed me his abs because it turns out when you're really really dying of heart failure your body begins to eat itself.

3 - Now That's What I Call Jaundice (cardiac cirrhosis is liver failure as a result of heart failure and it's pretty much the big giant neon flashing sign of heart failure that says "hey you're fucking dying" so if you've got heart failure and your bilirubin number is off or the whites of your eyes are yellow please kick up a gigantic stink until they check your liver; large bastard's GP, who is my doctor, who I hate, saw his bloodwork with a very high bilirubin number a month before he was diagnosed with cardiac cirrhosis and wrote it off as a testing fluke fuck that guy)

4 - Don't let the sad face fool you, he's acting pathetic so that his mom will stop yelling about the fact that I'm bringing him cookies. He's allowed to have cookies. At that point he weighed 98kg and was outsourcing his heartbeat, he was allowed to eat whatever he wanted. (have i mentioned that I was moving us from Vegas to LA at this time? I was bringing him cookies because I'd baked hundreds of peanut butter cookies and other cookies to use up the flour, sugar, and peanut butter in the vegas house)

5 - Mid-march, he's got a match! He called me when I was in Vegas filling up the truck with another load and I drove right back and to the hospital. Once he went in for surgery I drove to his mom's house and crashed, then woke up and drove to our storage unit and unpacked the truck while I waited to hear from the doctors. I was unloading a bookcase when I got the call. (There wasn't any point in waiting alone in the hospital for sixteen hours; either he was going to make it or he wasn't and someone was going to have to unload the truck at some point. People have been weird about this, like I should have been sitting at his side all the time, but there was a two-hour daily limit for most visits and look i have sat in a waiting room while this dude had a thirteen hour surgery i do not need a repeat of that experience without the soothing balm of nicotine getting me through it; so unloading a truck it was)

6 - Two days after surgery and kind of mad about it. His chest hurt a lot (obviously) but, like, a lot a lot because they'd had to open him up for the bypass just two years earlier.

7 - First walk outside of his room after transplant in early April; he needed a LOT of PT because of how much muscle he'd lost. He lost sixty pounds in the hospital before the surgery, and only gained back about twenty while he was in there.

8 - A visit from the tiny doggo

9 - I come to visit and I've got a new phone with a portrait mode so he steals it and takes stupid pictures for a few minutes. Dude is bored and restless; this is in late april and he's feeling well enough to be moody. ETA: There is a jar of pickles in front of him because he'd been fluid limited for a long time and his salt levels were off and when he got to the hospital they were like "you need electrolytes and a lot of salt" and he was like "sweetheart can you please please please bring me delicious salty things" so I was bringing him jars of pickled mushrooms and garlic stuffed olives and just a huge number of pickles that he kept trying to share with the nurses. "Alli brought the mushrooms again; would you like a pickled mushroom? I have fancy toothpicks to share them with!"

10 - He comes home for the first time in early May; he ends up getting readmitted two more times because of complications before finally being released in early July. ETA: The second time he got readmitted it was for something that he wasn't at all worried about but that they needed to monitor for a couple weeks so he was *SO BORED* and actually feeling pretty okay; so at one point when I was leaving the parking garage at 8pm my car wouldn't start, I did some troubleshooting with the manual and the internet and didn't figure it out, so I called him and he tried to troubleshoot over the phone and got frustrated and was begging his nurses to let him come out to the parking structure to work on my car (they refused) - I ended up getting a tow and fixing it when I replaced the battery terminals.

Photos are all posted with his permission.

Also I dyed my hair purple between photos one and two because it's his favorite color. I also bought a blue dress, red tights, and yellow shoes to wear to visit him because he always teases me for wearing so much black.

I just love him a lot. It was a hard couple years there, but things are getting better.

[the-ace-with-spades]

(another unfinished post i found on the way to glasgow - that was the longest train ride in my life - I'm sorry in advance)

When Ice finally passes away, at the age of 73, in his sleep, Bradley moves Mav into their house the same day.

He gets the call in the morning, while trying to simultaneously cook Jake's breakfast and try to make their daughter put on a rain jacket. It's not Mav, but someone from the hospital. Jake doesn't know this — Bradley's face twitches only for a second and then he's back to the nagging, relaxing tone and telling their daughter it's raining and it won't stop. Jake only finds out when he comes back home from the school drop-off and Mav is already there on their couch. Jake doesn't even get the full explanation until that night, just a quick, "Ice passed away overnight."

There's only their three youngest living with them at the time — their 18-year-old daughter who attends UC San Diego, and their 15-year-old son who is still in high school, and their 7-year-old daughter — so Mav takes one of the vacant bedrooms.

The first few nights, Bradley sleeps in the same bed with him. Neither of them looks like they get much sleep. They don't really eat, either, just drink coffee and nibble on the crackers.

The kids start coming back home, and their oldest helps Jake arrange most of the things for the funeral, at least for the first few days. Mav is... numb, not really there, and Jake understands — he would, too, if he woke up one day and his husband died in his sleep next to him. Bradley is silent, mostly, the way he usually rambles to fill out the silence, the way he hums, the way he sings at any given time when there are no words spoken, it's all gone and Jake doesn't know how to fill out the silence either, how to ask, how to make it better without asking.

Bradley doesn't cry, or at least not the way he knows Mav does — he can see Mav's red eyes every morning — but there's something empty in his gaze, in the way his eyes follow Mav and in the way he melts whenever Mav is around, always close, always brushing against him. Mav spaces out a lot, doesn't talk much, doesn't—well, doesn't do much. Every time he tries to help with something, paperwork, the funeral arrangements, the hospital bills, even just sorting out the kids' school leave or Jake's own work leave, he fumbles a bit, not really able to focus on anything for long, and it's like his mind is completely scrambled. Jake doesn't know how to help him — doesn't know if they even can.

The kids, well, did not take it well, as expected. The oldest two try to be brave and help Jake with everything, keep the house going, but their youngest daughter doesn't really understand why her pops isn't back, the middle kids don't understand why now — Ice was in remission, in good health, would go hiking with them once a month, play with them in the backyard, talking about plans for the future with them, nothing that would tell them to expect their pops passing away. Mav and Ice had taken care of all of them for years, while Jake and Bradley were still deployable, and helping out as much as they could. Ice was a huge part of their lives, since the very beginning.

Bradley is certainly not doing any better but one couldn't be able to tell if they didn't know him well enough. He's always been more for packing his feelings into a tight neat box, compartmentalizing until there is too much and it all overflows in some explosive way. His focus is mostly on Mav and the kids, trusting Jake to take care of anything he can't.

Jake can't even ask him how he's doing until the night before the funeral.

Mav tells Bradley he wants to be alone that night and Bradley lands in their bedroom.

He acts normal — checks the kids are in bed, checks on Mav, prepares stuff for breakfast in the morning, has a shower. Only when he sits down in their bed, their dress blues, cleaned and pressed sitting on the hangers hooked up on their wardrobe, right in front of him—only then he freezes, a blank stare still on the uniforms.

Jake sits down next to him on the bed. "Talk to me, Bradley."

"I knew it was going to happen at some point, I just," "I just thought we would have a few more years."

Bradley sleeps curled up on his chest — he sleeps the whole night, soundlessly, and Jake is almost settled.

Almost. Mav is a couple doors down, alone.

Ice's been—had been retired many years now, but he had been high enough in the ranks that the Navy still insists on making a military funeral. Jake tried to take away as much of the flashy bullshit as possible, but there are still things leftover — the sailors with the flag, the flyover. But there's no one who wasn't close with the family at the ceremony, there's no speeches, and no one tries to hand either Mav or Bradley a flag.

The wake has an even smaller amount of people, all packed in their house — Mav hasn't been at his own house since — and thanks to Slider, mostly, and his 'the bastard wouldn't want us to mope around', it's less sad and quiet.

Mav eats two slices of cake, which is the most Jake's seen him eat since, and even laughs at some stories about Ice people are exchanging.

Ice had a good life. A big family. A big happy family that loved him.

But life goes on without him. Jake goes back to work first, then the kids have to go back to school, then Bradley has to back to work. After a couple of days alone at their house, Mav starts bringing up moving back to his own house.

He's not really doing great. He's still quiet, still spaces out more often than not, still forgets himself sometimes, still freezes whenever he tries to say something and the we he uses is one person short. He's—lifeless, for a lack of better word, and seems like he's noticing it now that Bradley isn't with him most of the waking hours.

"That is our home," Mav tells them. "I can't abandon it forever, I'd be abandoning him, too, if I—"

Jake—Jake gets it. He doesn't like it, but he gets it.

Bradley's been fielding off any suggestions of Mav moving out but he's pretty sure that soon Mav is going to pack his stuff and up and leave without asking for permission.

"If he wants to move back home, we can't exactly hold him here. against his will."

"Jake," Bradley says. "I feel like—if we let Mav go back there alone, he's going to die of a broken heart and I won't have either of them anymore."

"Sweetheart—"

"I know it's selfish," he interrupts, "but I can't lose him, too. Not now."

Jake can't make Mav stay with them — so he finds the best solution he can and instead, they all move in with Mav. Hell with it, he's going to try to get everyone to live their lives to the end. They'd done it before, Mav, Ice, Bradley, Jake and their two kids under one roof, when their oldest two were their only two kids.

The two of them and two of their youngest; two of their kids move into their house so they don't have to sell it.

Mav lives on. They try to occupy his mind by throwing their youngest at him — ask him to take her to school, pick her up from school, take her to her gymnastics class, do her homework with her, teach her how to play piano. The other kids pick up on it, too, and their high schoolers would wrap Mav into doing math workbooks with them, or ask him to drive them to their friends' house, and the kids that have moved out ask Mav to go to lunch together or call him to ask him things about car and house repairs that don't exist.

Mav gets brighter every day. Never as bright as before, but no longer so numb.

Their daughter ends up never moving out and so do they.

They all get older but Mav holds up pretty well. He does break his hip when trying to wash the windows, had a limp and terrible back ache ever since, had to stop driving because he can't see shit, had to stop piloting even sooner, and his memory is also shit, but Jake is pretty sure his cholesterol is lower than his own and he has better blood pressure than Bradley. Bradley and Mav are the ones cooking after all, Jake is the one eating all the tasty but not healthiest food, and Mav's life revolves around spoiling his cute great-grandkids and Bradley's is filled with the constant stress of managing Navy's top flying school.

For his ninetieth birthday, Mav flies a fighter jet as a passenger, the oldest person to ever do that — his youngest granddaughter is the one to take him up in the air, a junior grade lieutenant herself. They have a birthday party held at their house, Mav falls asleep in the armchair, Bradley makes fun of him and promptly falls asleep on the couch, too. Jake loves them both so much and still kind of can't believe he has this — house full of grown-up kids and grandkids of his own, his graying husband of over thirty years, his father-in-law coming to an age he wanted to see his mother at.

They're cleaning up, their two daughters who still don't have kids and didn't need to go home helping, and Mav tells them he's going to get some fresh air on their veranda. "I've got a terrible headache," is all he says.

Half an hour passes, they've packed all the clean and dirty dishes, and Bradley huffs to himself. "He fell asleep on the bench again, didn't he," and goes outside.

Bradley shouts for him in less than a minute. The ambulance is there in eight. Within the half-hour and a CT scan in the hospital, the neurologist tells them Mav is too far gone to survive the day. Within six hours, every single person from their family has come to say goodbye. When they pass the seven hours mark, Jake stands up from the plastic chair behind Bradley — he's not about to tell Bradley he should rest, but he's been holding Mav's hand since the minute they admitted Mav to the ward and hasn't eaten or drunk anything all day. He tells him he'll go grab them a coffee and bagels and gets a little nod and a smile.

Jake comes back twenty minutes later and Bradley doesn't even look up from where he's gripping Mav's hand.

"Can you get the nurse for me?"

[coolbeesbro]

TGOFC Leshy Facts (Chapter 6 Spoilers)

There's so much that goes into each character in my au, and the last chapter I dropped had a bunch of lore for Leshy's character, and I just felt like compiling the minute facts that might be overlooked in light of the story that genuinely bring me joy.

Unlike the other siblings, Leshy was just a regular chaser worm who was evolved into something more human (even though humans aren't a thing in this universe, I can't think of a term that would convey the same thing here) through the power of the Green Crown. The others were like regular people already capable of complex thinking, bipedal etc., who came to find their crown one way or another (I'll go into them more in their own posts), so in comparison Leshy is more unpredictable and overall feral in his actions and mannerisms. He also still has a strong connection with the worms and can communicate with them perfectly fine, giving him an advantage over prior gods of Chaos who couldn't control them at all.

Some examples of him being more animalistic is the fact that he's being prone to biting just because, and still having urges like burrowing underground being more comfortable for him than sleeping in an actual bed, and randomly making strange little noises. He also thinks nothing about eating through and ripping up the floorboards in his house, and has Heket bring him spare lumber to store as a "little snack" when he's too lazy to get up and go to the dining hall and raid the kitchen. Every sibling's homes are reflective of their personalities, and where Heket, Kallamar, Narinder and Shamura have furniture and decor, Leshy's home, though normal looking from the outside, is literally just an empty room with the majority of the floorboards ripped up or gnawed through, looking like a storm ripped through the inside of his home. He has no furniture or decor outside of a few potted plants gifted to him by Tebryn (au yellow cat).

Another thing, and this might be controversial, is that he's actually terrible when it comes to taking care of plants. Almost every plant he owns is either dead, or on the brink of death, but he doesn't really know it since he can't see for himself that they are. He use to be good at it, but that ended up being 100% the Green Crown's power. Having not been capable of thinking past basic animal instincts prior to becoming a god, he can't fathom that he might not actually know what he's doing. Tebryn teases him lightly about it, but also doesn't have the heart to tell him that the plants in his window died months ago. There's one plant that's hanging on by a thread, an overwatered camellia bonsai that's now really just a stick in dirt with 3 leaves, and it only stays alive because Tebryn repots and tends to it when Leshy isn't paying attention. That doesn't stop Leshy from attempting to unintentionally over-trim the tree, much to Tebryn's dismay.

When he was still just a baby up until his toddler years, he would often just run around naked (only covered by leaves) and Heket would struggle to just get him to keep at least his cloak on (there'll be a flashback to a scene like that later on). One second he would be fully clothed, she would look away for just a moment, then look back to see Leshy running away on all fours with his clothes in a trail behind him. Now, if not for the fact that he'd get a lecture from the others on why he needs to stay clothed out in public, he would probably be in the nude 24/7.

As a product of his rapid evolution, his appearance from what chaser worms are in present day is drastically different; since while they evolved over time, he was like a preservation of their past. Like how he burrows into dirt, where they no longer have to due to evolution giving them large horns and a larger/tougher build for protection. Instinctually, he still attaches sticks to his head, which was both a defense mechanism of sorts along with helping with hunting. Being partly burrowed in the ground helped him feel vibrations of things walking near him; and with his head sticking up past the dirt, he looked more shrub-like so predators wouldn't go after him, and also prey would be more inclined to walk near him or use him as shelter, making for easier meals.

I also decided to make him a trans man, because why does Shamura get to be the only trans one (also as a youngest child who's a trans man I decided that my comfort character WILL be trans as well.)? With the help of Kallamar he's able to transition with HRT and other surgeries. Nobody but his siblings know he's trans, and is 100% passing as cis to everyone else. He's also the shortest of all the siblings, followed by Shamura, then Narinder, Heket and Kallamar.

There's definitely more than this, but my god I realized just how long this was getting so I'll end it here unless people want me to make a continuation.

[osarina]

honestly the most tragic relationship in civzai/pmreader universe is yosano & reader and i will stand on that hill forever.

like originally i was thinking maybe they only rarely interacted while on tokoyami island, but the more that i thought about it, the more i realized that they probably did interact frequently. mori would've wanted his "immortal regiment" as soon as possible and to have it perfected, he needed reader's ability to be able to "heal" the soldiers' minds. so mori would've likely had yosano try to help her figure out how to work her ability. they would have been friendly enough with each other, the only two young girls in the warzone, both dragged into this war in some manner or another, yosano probably saw her as a younger sister tbh being 3 years older, wanted to help her as best as she could.

and then mori does mori things. when yosano's help doesn't give him the progress he needs, he starts using other tactics to try to get her to develop her ability in the way he needs. starts comparing her to yosano, starts holding her place at his side over her head, threatens to send her back if she can't be useful. all things that a kid in her situation would be terrified of.

and like you guys have to understand pmreader does NOT have a reliable narration of those years. like we'll see it in the canonverse & the civzai verse (which is actually what stemmed this post), but her memories of those years are very warped courtesy of trauma & mori's manipulation. it all happens directly after she watches her entire village slaughtered in the crossfires of the great war so she's already very unstable, and mori gets in her head VERY quickly.

so she thinks back to these years and can only remember the threats of being dropped back off in the ruins of her village & the way mori held yosano as a type of idealized figure that she'd never be able to catch up to no matter how hard she tried. "be more useful like yosano and you can keep your place here" and stuff like that. she doesn't have like ANY memory of the months yosano spent trying to help her figure out her ability, doesn't remember how she would sit with her for hours and tell her that she's making good progress even when mori would give that disappointed frown, doesn't remember anything because its all been warped and twisted by moris' constant threats and comparison. so naturally she becomes resentful and hateful about it.

meanwhile, poor yosano only remembers the 7/8 year old girl she tried & failed to help, couldn't do anything when mori separated them and turned reader against yosano. yosano got off of the warfront and out from under mori's thumb, but reader didn't, and yosano has had so much guilt over it for years, living in the what ifs and wondering what ever happened to her.

and obviously mori's manipulations of reader never stopped after that—probably gets worse, even, because he would lament losing yosano while keeping reader, would've preferred the opposite. so when reader and yosano meet again years later, reader immediately rejects and spurns her, and yosano is just soooo distraught over it like the one person that could rlly truly fully understand her rejecting her in such a manner HURTS. hurts even more when she sees how reader has turned out so similar to mori bc she still remembers her as the kid she was and failed to protect.

i suppose while we're on the topic - i always get a lot of questions about reader and mori's relationship. dazai kind of mentions it in 'i laugh like me again,' but reader has like undying loyalty toward him that he definitely doesn't deserve. as shitty of one as he is, he's the only father figure she remembers, she still feels like she owes him her life for rescuing her from the warzone and has a VERY intense complex of trying to make him proud of her. i wouldn't say that mori doesn't care about her, he does in his own way, but whatever feelings he does have for her are overshadowed by his ambitions.

anyway tldr: yosano and reader are tragic, and mori is a cunt. i feel like im missing stuff concerning reader's and mori's relationship but that wasn't the point of this post anyway maybe ill make it its own post

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Throwing out the Epilogue and Cursed Child, how would you imagine the ending of the series? Like, what comes next after Harry goes to bed after beating Voldemort?

Anonymous asked:

What changes you would like to see in the wizarding world after the war?

Anonymous asked:

If you could rewrite the epilogue of Harry Potter, how would you do it and what changes would you make?

Thank you for the asks, it gave me a reason to try and think more about what I actually want from a post-book 7 story since I usually prefer to diverge from canon before book 7. I already talked a bit about the epilogue here, but this is more of a list of things I would like to see instead of reasons I don't like the existing one. There are going to be a lot of headcanons here, so be ready for that. I don't have something super thought out in terms of how it'll happen or who will be involved in everything in the long run. But I have a few bullet points about the epilogue itself and further in the future for the HP characters.

Like, for the epilogue itself, as I wrote in the past, I'd make it only a few months in the future, not years. What I'd put there is:

Showing a bit of the Golden Trio's friendship, and the three being hopeful about the future.

They are back at Hogwarts for 8th year and offhandedly mention Harry tried to go straight to Auror training and regretted leaving Hogwarts behind so quickly.

Ron was with Harry in Auror training and when Harry told him he was dropping out, Ron dropped out too. Kingsly assures them they could both return and continue the training from the point they dropped out after 8th year (Ron would return, Harry wouldn't).

They all get to worry about a future they weren't sure they'd have.

It's mentioned Neville is helping out Sprout and Harry is helping out the changing roaster of DADA teachers (since McGonagall decided to not really sign one on permanently to avoid the curse until it could be broken).

Some sections of Hogwarts are still a little worse for wear or were rebuilt completely after the battle and it shows.

Society is a little different. I want to see a Hogwarts where houses don't matter as much. Actually, start building the unity the sorting hat sang about. Show Harry has a few Slytherins he's friendly with. Show a pure-blood Slytherin be at least polite to Hermione — show the seeds of change.

Harry and Hermione are both mentioned going to the ministry for various meetings, and we get a hope that the ministry could be changed from within. That the system that let Voldemort and the Death Eaters take over so easily could be helped.

The epilogue won't show the actual changes or politics, just imply they are happening/or will happen. Many of the ex-DA members are primed for key positions in the ministry which would help this change to happen. Still, it would be slow, but now that there is no war, they have time. Like, the epilogue would mention people like Susan Bones getting a good position in the DMLE or something.

They reference rebuilding Diagon Alley and many places that were destroyed along with setting up a war monument and a separate monument for muggleborns.

Basically, I just want to end on a note of hope, of seeing a reason to work towards a future Harry finally had, you know?

But, that note of hope needs to have a bitter taste to it. I'd mention how this year, almost all the students could see the Thestrals leading the carriages to Hogwarts, an entire generation who gazed upon death.

Like, I don't care that much who Harry marries and what he names his kids, so I don't really mind not seeing that and leaving that to each reader to imagine their own future for him. If I were to rewrite the epilogue, that's what I'd do, I'd keep it vague.

As for other things I have in mind for Harry's future after the books, well, I think I mentioned some of them in the post I linked but I'll note down a few:

Harry becomes DADA professor and eventual deputy headmaster for McGonagall and Professor Potter doesn't let an abused kid go unnoticed. He's going to do something about it, for all houses.

Ron does still become an Auror, and I see him getting really good and valued there. I want Ron to become head of the DMLE instead of Harry.

I like to imagine Hermione becoming an Unspeakable actually, I think she'd enjoy it more than politics. Like, as much as she cares, she isn't very politically savvy. She is going to use Harry's Potter Wizengamot seat and war hero status (+ her own war hero status) to help him and other ex-DA members push for more creature rights and changes in the Wizarding World though.

Neville becomes a Herbology Professor and head of Gryffindor, and he and Harry become closer friends when they work together at Hogwarts.

Harry also breaks the DADA curse, either by figuring it out (he's very intuitive about magic and he knows how Tom thinks, so he could figure it out) or the curse recognizes him and just ceases. Even if Harry isn't a Horcrux anymore, I think carrying Tom's soul for so long had a lasting effect, so he just might get a pass. And even if the curse doesn't break, honestly, if anyone knows how to survive a year at Hogwarts when something's out to kill you it's the Boy-Who-Lived. So the curse might break after it fails once because it's Harry James Potter, Master of Death extraordinaire, and exception to magic.

I think Luna continues editing the Quibbler with her father, as well, and after the war, it becomes a real competition for the Prophet. She still becomes a Magizoologist in my headcanon.

Harry would eventually become Hogwarts headmaster, I think, in my version of events. Obviously, this would be way later, but I really see it happening. I'm hoping in his time as headmaster he'll finally fire Binns and get an actual history teacher into this school.

As for shipping, in my ultimate vision, Harry and Theo get together either during 8th year or by meeting in the ministry, maybe in Wizengamot warlock conventions (since Theo's father was a Death Eater and is either dead or in Azkaban, it'll be Theo there). I believe Theo wasn't actually in Britain during book 7 and the war and that's how he got out of being a Death Eater. He wasn't mentioned among the Slytherins that were in Hogwarts, so it's possible. I disagree with everything Cursed Child did to my boy Theo Nott except him being an Unspeakable since I can see that happening. His and Hermione's work dynamic in the DOM could be really fun, I think and it might be how he and Harry start talking.

For everyone else, I'm honestly less picky. I'm fine with Ron and Hermione together at the end, but I'd also be fine if they won't be, so 🤷‍♀️

[buddierecs]

slow burn buddie fics

all of these are general audience, teen and up or not rated (no smut) make sure to kudos/comment on these amazing works :)

hurt locker by: bvckandeddie "after finding out shannon is pregnant, eddie enlists in the military. buck goes with him." word count: 77k important tags: military au, ptsd, evan buckley centric, childhood friends, friends to lovers, angst what a heart can do by: bvckandeddie "in which buck becomes the guardian of the daughter he never knew he had. together, they discover what happiness truly means to them." word count: 86k important tags: kid fic, friends to lovers, therapy, emotional hurt/comfort, feelings realisation swear it all over again by: charthur "the one where they go to couples therapy as bros, and then realise they're actually a couple anyway" word count: 29k important tags: therapy, idiots in love, getting together, pre-relationship this must be the place by: euadnes "the buck is also shot by the sniper au that no one asked for." word count: 75k important tags: injury recovery, guilt, panic attacks, mutual pining, angst, hurt/comfort next to me by: emquin "buck and eddie started off in different places but eventually they ended up in the same. eventually, they ended up in love. told from buck and eddie’s perspectives, a canon-compliant take on buddie and how they could realistically get together." word count: 93k important tags: character study, angst, fluff, friends to lovers, pining, sexuality crisis i want your midnights by: allyasavedtheday "in which eddie decides to rent out his spare room to help with mortgage repayments right around the time buck decides to move out of abby's place after some not so gentle prodding from maddie. it's a coincidence. or serendipity. or maybe just really good timing" word count: 36k important tags: roommates au, different first meeting au, friends to lovers, fluff, mutual pining finding our way home by: child_of_wonderland "eddie thought that dropping the news that he was leaving the 118 would be the hardest thing he had to do for at least a few months but then the universe decides to prove him wrong in the form of therapy, buck being buck, and more." word count: 48k important tags: therapy, anxiety, panic attacks, team as family, hurt/comfort, whump nothing left but you by: daisies_and_briars "in may of 2021, 25% of earth's population suddenly disappears. Including eddie. in may of 2026, they all come back. eddie finds himself suddenly in the middle of a world he doesn't recognize, where the people he loves most have changed significantly." word count: 27k important tags: temporary character death, grief, time skips, christopher diaz has two dads, based on the avengers blip i think i've been having revelations (and really weird dreams) by: the11thtardis "this is basically the story of our two idiots in love, understanding their feelings for each other at different times and being cute af in the process... also, christopher helps a lot." word count: 70k important tags: coming out, post season 7, pre-relationship, demisexual!eddie diaz, jealous!eddie diaz, catholic guilt

[danieyells]

hi! any chance you'd be able to post some of kaito's voicelines? I would love to see them <33

Our wanna-be knight and pathetic little best friend! He's just such a good boy lol. . .once again, another one who just wants to go back to a normal life, poor thing. Kaito's very much your vanilla, sweet boyfriend character with no frills attached, aside from his cowardice and his gambling habit of course. And his terrible aim. . . .

Copying all of them over isn't hard now that I've done it twice. Let's do it again for Kaito!

Hello: (the first time the game is opened after that character is set as home screen NPC. Only happens once per day, unless the character is switched out and back.)

"{PC}! Over here! Hiya!"

You've Got Mail: (whenever there's something in the inbox, usually Arena rewards)

"Hey, new message. Better check it out, yeah? Or are you the type who's got like a ton of of unread inbox messages?"

. . .shut up /absolutely that type (and a sincere apology to literally everyone i know for that my adhd doesn't let me read and respond to their messages--)

Default: (requires no affinity, has no time constraints)

"God, please don't make me go on any more missions... It's not like me being there is any help to anyone anyway..."

"Oh yeah, have you been on WickHive yet? Someone leaked next month's cafeteria menu! Oh wait... I-I already told you that, didn't I?!"

"Damn it... I could've taken {PC} to lunch with that money! God, why am I such a moron?!"

"Ask me anything you want to know! I'm pretty savvy when it comes to Darkwick!"

honestly the fact that he's a second year who doesn't wanna be here and doesn't wanna be doing all of this but he still knows like everything about the school is also kinda sus to me. . .surely he'd divest himself from as much of darkwick as possible if he didn't care

"Urgh... Limited time only, you are not my friend... Huh? Oh, I'm on TikTok. I really want this, but I'm pretty broke this month..."

Affinity 1: (between 5am and 11am)

"Ahem... Testing, testing... Morning! Heh, nailed it... Ack! How long've you been there, {PC}?!"

Affinity 2: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Phew, should be safe here... EEEEEEEEEEK! Oh thank god, it's just a cat... I thought he found me..."

romeo oh romeo didn't you get into enough shit for this romeo? just make sure it's not Romeo cat. Because I'm sure it'll tell him somehow--

Affinity 3: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Shit, it's Luca… Judging by the outfit he must be going to train. I better bail before he tries to rope me in too…"

Affinity 4: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Eeeek?! Oh, it's just you... Geez, you almost gave me a heart attack!"

i know romeo is constantly on his ass, and I relate to the feeling of being scared the people you owe money will appear out of nowhere and get you, but. . .he's so jumpy lol

Affinity 5: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Ugh, Romeo's texting me... Not gonna open that..."

Affinity 6: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"So your father runs a company, huh? Who the hell leads with that?! This is why I hate talking to Frostheimers..."

so the wording here is wonky because he's quoting a Frostheimer, but there's no visual indication that he's quoting them. But lore drop! Kaito's father runs a company! But I thought he wasn't well off. . .? Maybe his parents are separated or his father doesn't spend any of their money on him. . .or the company isn't doing well. . .or gambling addiction runs in his family lol. . . .

Affinity 7: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Argh, I want junk food! And I want to try all the new snack flavors!!"

my boy is so relateable--

Affinity 8: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"All right, time to man up and bite the bullet... Nope, absolutely not, can't do it!"

Affinity 9: (between 8pm and 5am)

"How is Jin's skin so perfect? Fucking rich kids and their stupidly expensive fancy-ass toner!!!"

kaito really looking at jin like OH NO HE'S HOT

Affinity 10: (between 10pm and midnight)

"(yawn) Guess I'll go brush my teeth..."

Affinity 11: (between 5am and 11am)

"Hey {PC}, you seem different somehow today. Did you change something? Or am I just imagining things?!"

Affinity 12: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Noooo why does Tohma want to see me...? No way it's about something good! Could you come with me, {PC}?!"

Affinity 13: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Crap, I fell asleep in class so I don't know what our homework is... Help me, {PC}!"

Affinity 14: (between 5am and 11am)

"(yawn) Man, my bed's like a freaking marshmallow. I can never get any good sleep on that thing..."

lol the Frostheim beds are too comfortable lolol I NEED A FIRMER BED TOO KAITO I GET IT.

Affinity 15: (between 5am and 11am)

"Huh? Oh, my pendant! You're always wearing it? Does that mean you've actually been paying attention to me?!"

once again the wording here is wonk because it makes it sound like the pc is always wearing Kaito's pendant. I'm pretty sure he's quoting the pc, who's commented that "you're always wearing it". It would read better as something like "You noticed I'm always wearing it?"

Affinity 16: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Hey {PC}, how 'bout we grab a bite?! I've got tons to splurge in winn... er, earnings, so it's all on me! Get whatever you want!"

your gambling addiction is really and truly going to get you in trouble. disregard that i play a gacha game.

Affinity 17: (between 10pm and midnight)

"...Huh?! Man, nearly fell sleep without putting my phone on the charger... 5%, that would've sucked tomorrow..."

Affinity 18: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Ha ha ha! Have you seen this yet?! It's all over TikTok. Ah man, it's killing me..."

Affinity 19: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Whoa, when did it get so late?! Sorry {PC}, I didn't mean to keep you up... What? You're still good?"

Affinity 20: (between 5am and 11am)

"Morning! Hey, guess what? Luca's busy after class, so how about we hit up the diner? It's been ages!"

do you. . .do you really wanna go there. . .i mean the drinks seem to be fine but according to sho they can't make good food at all. . . .

Affinity 21: (between 11am and 4pm)

"Sorry, I gotta stay after class today... (sniffle) This sucks, I really wanted to walk home with you..."

aw buddy. . .they could wait for you or come pick you up after your remedial lesson. . .!

Affinity 22: (between 4pm and 8pm)

"Hey I'm really sorry but do you mind if we stop by the campus store after class? I'm almost out of granulated sugar."

Affinity 23: (between 8pm and 5am)

"Hey, do you like stars? Oh, um, I was just wondering 'cause there's this place where you can see them really well, so I thought maybe you'd want to go some time..."

he's overcoming his fears and being honest with himself and how he speaks and just. . .asking honestly, no bravado, no act. do it scared, kaito. do it scared, do it awkward, do it sure you're going to fail. as long as you do it. proud of you!

Affinity 24: (between 10pm and midnight)

"Sure is dark. Reminds me of the closet where we first met. Remember?"

Affinity 25(max): (no time constraints)

"I know I'm weak, and a coward. But I really do want to become your knight in shining armor, {PC}."

I love how comfortable and honest he starts to get as his affinity goes up. Still shy here and there, still scared, but he's not as jumpy and he starts treating you like a real friend. laughs with you about stuff, talks a little about hobbies and struggles. doesn't try and look cool for you. and then the honesty--i'm a weak coward, but i wanna be better for you. i wanna spend time with you. just!!! he grows!!! he realizes you like him for who he is and how he is, even if that's a weak coward--and that that's exactly what he wants! and it's okay for him to be that way because you won't be put off by it, even if it's something he'd like to grow from so he can be better for you--but he wants to be better for you as himself and--idk. i have feelings about characterization lol.

Spring: (March-May) (between 5am and 11am)

"(yawn) Man, I wanna sleep, but I can't fail, so I gotta show up for class... Oh! I have Professor Nicolas next! Naptime."

does that mean you're good in anomalous medicine class or. . . .

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Grr! All those girls in the hall were looking at Luca! I'm so pissed off now I'm not even sleepy anymore!"

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"It's finally warm out again, so I really want to go do something fun... Wish I could get an R&R permit..."

well maybe if you stopped sleeping in class and did good in class or went on a mission or something. . . . . .

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Mheheh... {PC}... You've got a petal in your hair... Zzz..."

Summer: (June-August) (between 5am and 11am)

"Ugh, it's too hot to go outside... But I can sense a coming-of-age event on the horizon... All right, here I come!"

obligatory beach event? 👀

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Can't believe Professor Hyde still wears that blindfold in summer. Pfft, I bet it's really sweaty under— Eeeek! S-Sir?!"

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Hey {PC}, are you free after this? I was thinking of inviting Luca to let off some fireworks! I want to show him how we do summer here in Japan."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"I can't believe I get to spend the whole summer hanging out with you {PC}... (sniffle) Homework? Uh y-yeah, I finished it already..."

Autumn: (September-November) (between 5am and 11am)

"Is it just me, or is it really cold today?! Guess I better get my coat out soon..."

(between 11am and 4pm)

"Have you had the chestnut rice from the cafeteria yet? They made it way too fancy. It's supposed to be comfort food..."

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"Tohma's always reading something. Maybe I should too... All right, let's go with this! 10 Ways To Become Popular Overnight!"

well. . .it's something to read. . .never a bad idea to read.

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Apparently the moon is the most beautiful in fall since the air gets clearer. Want to go take a look?"

Winter: (December-February) (between 5am and 11am)

"It's freezing out there! It's freezing in here! Frostheim sucks!!"

this makes me wonder what the warmest dorm is on average. . .probably jabberwock as long as towa's in a good mood? (or maybe warm jabberwock winters mean towa's in a bad mood. . .?)

(between 11am and 4pm)

"The cold can go to hell, but I guess there's outfits you can only wear this time of year..."

you can wear whatever you want whenever you want if you're brave enough. but this is kaito and he's not very brave. and it's also not very smart to wear winterwear in the summer.

(between 4pm and 8pm)

"I really want to go to Starbucks for the new winter drink! But I really really don't want to go on any missions!! Guess I'll never get to try it."

(between 8pm and 5am)

"Gram... No... No more mandarins... ...Huh?! Oh, it was just a dream... I haven't had a mandarin for ages..."

'gram' in this case is 'grandma' in case you couldn't figure it out haha and the mandarin(mikan)'s used to represent health and longevity and a long prosperous bloodline or something like that for new years. So i assume his grandmother would feed him a lot of mandarins every winter lolol

His birthday: (December 11th)

"Why did Jin, Tohma, and Luca give me all this high-end stuff?! It's freaking me out!! Thank you!?!?"

EVEN JIN AND TOHMA GAVE HIM GIFTS. . .FROSTHEIM FAM IS REAL. . . .

Your birthday:

"Happy birthday, {PC}! We'll make this the best one— Hey, give those back! Those are the cue cards I made yesterday!!"

ksjfkhesbfjh he made himself cue cards to give you a birthday speech with as little stuttering as possible. . . .

New Years: (January 1st)

"Happy New Year! Let's make it a good one! S-So hey, if, er, if you'd like, c-could we, um... could we make our first shrine visit together?"

Valentine's Day: (February 14th)

"C'mon Kaito, deep breaths. Girls aren't into guys with no chill. So stay cool... Stay— Are those chocolates for me?! I'll take them to my grave!"

everyone loves an enthusiastic boy lol

White Day: (March 13th)

"Do you like the cookies I made? Come on, no way they're that good, heh heh... Heh heh heh... Here, take them all!!"

god i bet he makes really good sweets too. like i bet he puts so much love and good spirit into them lolol

April Fool's Day: (April 1st)

"I'd never lie to a girl. Ah! That's not a lie, I swear! {PC}? Are you listening?!"

BAD THING TO SAY ON APRIL FOOL'S ABORT MISSION

Halloween: (October 31st)

"Trick or treat! See those carved pumpkins? I was actually the one who made them. What do you think?"

given his DIY skills i bet he's actually really good at carving too. i bet they look really good!

Christmas: (December 25th)

"Hey, uh, {PC}, do you, uh... Do you have any plans for Christmas? I'm actually totally free!"

Idle: (about 20 seconds without interacting with the game) (below 13 affinity)

"Huh? {PC}? Am I being annoying?! I'm sorry! You're probably busy, right?!"

(13 affinity and above)

"{PC} seems kind of busy... I know! I'll find a video that'll help take her mind off things!"

this one replace the first one after you hit a certain affinity, so it's cute to see that he eventually decides 'i'm not being annoying, they're just busy. i wanna help them' after he gets closer to you. . . .

Absent: (logging in for the first time in 2 or more days?)

"Ah...! Oh my god, you're back!! I'm so happy to see you!!!!  (sob) Please don't leave me again..."

he's so clingy. . .poor guy really missed you, considering you're one of the kindest and most normal people in Darkwick that he associates with. . . . also man 'please don't leave me again' with the whole loop theory stuff. . . .

I THINK I'VE SAID MOST OF MY THOUGHTS THROUGHOUT THIS BUT. He really is a sweetie. He really could have ended up a very plain and 'safe' character, but he's managed to be very charming and entertaining with his struggles and exaggerated behavior, while still being a simple and safe type. Really looking forward to seeing how he plays into the rest of the story, since it seems like his pendant may be kind of important. . . .

[faceofpoe]

What Happened to Bad Batch Season 3: Canceled Season 4/Condensed/Frankenstein'ed Plots Conspiracy Edition:

(aka: Poe Is Still On Her Bullshit)

(It's a puzzle, I like puzzles, but this one has been breaking my brain since May 1st/but really as far back as s3e8/9).

(And if you loved season 3, I am very glad, but this post is probably not for you lol)

We begin our tale with the episode Bad Territory (3.8), wherein with very little pushback, Hunter & Wrecker decide to venture off alone to find Fennec, despite the indignation at the idea of being left behind when infiltrating an Imperial outpost 3 episodes earlier.

(yes there are textual excuses for this; does it stand up to close scrutiny that we'd trust taking Omega more to an Imperial outpost we didn't know was abandoned rather than to see a bounty hunter who isn't known to currently be after her? you do you.)

We notably get this conversation with Fennec - this is important - while they're on Creepy Toxic Planet:

Fennec also has a jab about how Nala Se thought Omega would be safer with the Batch, rather than on Kamino, and how that obviously didn't work out so well.

Which... makes no sense in the context of the episode except maybe flimsily in a "well she's not here so she must be lost" way. But she looked into the squad, she knows there are/were more than 2, so Omega's absence isn't necessarily weird...

Unless this part of this episode was originally a hunt for Omega early season plot repurposed around a new intro/ending/motivations and with the Pabu scenes in between to carry on the Omega & Crosshair relationship development.

Now this episode builds up straight to The Harbinger, i.e. the Ventress episode, i.e. the episode that tells us twice in the script itself, that we are wasting valuable season time on a question that does not matter.

From the end of episode 7 and Rex's "you have to figure out why they're after her" spiel, we are never given a compelling reason to figure it out. As Crosshair tells us in 9 - it matters not at all. It's not like the answer would change anything. And from a viewer standpoint, we were given the answer at the end of episode 3, when Emerie rushes to stop the ship being shot down.

But I have another contender for a repurposed early season storyline:

The Juggernaut. Crosshair is with them in this episode. Crosshair is the driving force behind this episode.

The big action scene of this episode quite notably is Hunter & Wrecker centric, and when Crosshair is in the room (in the Juggernaut cockpit) (aside from the shot of him dragging Rampart out of the hold) - he is in the background, doesn't speak, and is not spoken to or acknowledged.

He is likewise just floating (lol get it?) in the background during the chaos approach to Erebus, while Phee actually has a conversation with Hunter & Wrecker.

(I've been trying to decide if Crosshair looks potentially added in later to the dramatic jump on the ramp scene as well)

(should emphasize when I say things like 'added in later' I know fuck-all about animation)

Were these sequences salvaged from an earlier hunt-for-Omega story where Phee was actually part of the search and repurposed for this hasty/bananas-pacing Rampart-driven conclusion? And thus the relegation of Phee to suspiciously-arrived-right-on-time taxi driver and what-the-hell-cavern-on-Pabu-is-big-enough-for-THAT-ship?

Taken with a couple of dropped threads such as:

A sector location for Tantiss that's never again mentioned after ep2

Hemlock's "other plans" for Crosshair at the end of ep1

The bag of 30k credits Crosshair makes sure to scoop up on Lau

I am thinking we were intended for a mid-season reunion. Few episodes hunting; few episodes building up Tantiss. Maybe 2 shorter episodes condensed into the long(er) season opener to get that 5 month time jump in there?

Which then prods my curiosity about other curiously dropped threads or just irrelevancies like:

Omega's crossbow

"All our operatives" Hemlock wants notified on Lau and how few that is/(or how quickly they get killed off??)/the fact that he's yanked 4 aside despite the crucial need to get Omega back so he can make them... idk extra badass Worst Batch operatives who all bring knives to gunfights?

(sorry my salt is showing lol I hate them so much)

What the hell does Hemlock show the Emperor (WITH Nala Se in tow) in ep 3 (and was that supposed to be the Vault)?

Everything about CX-2.

...weirdly I also kind of want to call Batcher a dropped thread? Like... I don't think she needs a bigger story and she deserves her days obliviously relaxing on Pabu while everyone else almost dies. But I do wonder if she wasn't envisioned for... some further role after ep 3. Besides therapy dog and snow shovel. But if not I'm not mad about it lol.

My instinctive thought wondering, if mid-season was meant to be a reunion after at the very least a Phee/Fennec/Durand sequence of hunting episodes and maybe another ep or 2 on Tantiss (or another ep on the run? or an earlier Emerie-centric episode?), what sort of season 3 (of 4) finale might that be building towards.

I have a hard time imagining it'd be Point of No Return and repeating the end of season 2 but maybe....

Or my first thought was:

building into a season 4 follow-through-on-Echo's-whole-story-since-season-1 plot, tying in his and Rex's side, the politics...

with a touch of

to tease us into season 4 with Crosshair's making peace with the "regs" as he completes a longer season redemption arc and CX-Tech (yes, CX-Tech) crawling out of the river (possibly after getting beat to hell starts cracking the conditioning a bit?).

(This potential finale thought does however leave hanging curious threads such as the CX-2 & Phee scene and the forever fascination with CX-2 shooting his own pilot in 3.11 so maybe not)

(but setting it at the end of the season does satisfy my 'doesn't Omega look a lot older between eps 5 & 6?' thing that's been bugging me for months lol)

Now. If they found out when they were already well on their way to done with season 3 (and started on 4?) that they were getting 4 canceled... how do you hastily jam a resolution into place?

Condense your reunion to one passage of time Tantiss ep/one hunting ep/escape ep/hijinks&reconnect ep.

Replace CX-Tech stakes with kids-in-the-basement stakes.

Maneuver Emerie & Omega to facilitate a nice smooth resolution to the kids plot to make way for a grittier action plot for everyone else. (I know I know no one else is on my episode 10 Emerie making no sense + lego brick vault vendetta but it is what it is)

Replace a bigger Tantiss clone assault with Tarkin shuttering it despite the emperor's eagerness in ep3 and going from "more prisoners than we thought!" to a manageable amount for a 4 man infiltration team + 1 evac shuttle.

Conveniently ignore the second mountain.

And have CX-2 cut off Crosshair's hand to emphasize no-really-he's-totes-mcEvil and deserves the spear and none of the clones are redeemable after all but then not have time to worry about the traumatic aftermath of it lol.

(+ keep your Ventress ep however you can fit it because someone said you had to) (I guess?)

Anyway all this to say: if a canceled 4th season is what happened, perhaps season 3 originally had room to breathe. Perhaps we got some actual Pabu time, and Omega meeting the cadets, and some reminder the Pabu friends existed before they just existed to be threatened in 3.11. Perhaps Phee was more than a ride to Erebus. Perhaps it took Hunter & Crosshair more than an episode to make nice. Perhaps the Ventress episode was... uh. Relevant? Force-sensitive Omega maybe?

Perhaps they took Omega and her 30k credits to Canto Bight, idk.

And perhaps, well - CX-Tech.

(Better late than dead)

[project-sekai-facts]

What are your predictions for the lineups of the next event(s)? Cause at first we were thinking tsukasa5 lim but then VBS got it,and now we have the Toya mixed event with a Toya, Kanade, and An 4 stars as the event starting tomorrow , when a lot of people were expecting kamiyama2 with Mizuki, so now what do you think?

yeah sorry i didn't do an event prediction post this month. i already made predictions for a lim mixed event and my though process was "i'll read lead to shine more and then do a prediction post in the morning". and then it was the morning and mmj hakolim 4 existed. anyway.

the lim event for this month is. kinda hard to predict despite the lack of options. obviously we have to consider the 4th anniversary banner at this point in time, which has six rateups and takes a lot of options out for this month's event.

so i'll start with my 4th anniversary predictions

emu banner. unless she's august, it's her. it can't be rui or tsukasa, and she's gone longer without a lim than nene. while that doesn't really mean anything, the fact she's getting incredibly close to 4 years without a mixed event it makes sense and lines up pretty well for this to be emu mix 2

haruka 3*. the only mmj characters eligible for the banner are haruka and airi. ideal idol just happened and capped haruka at 7 lims and while airi isn't capped, haruka's gone longest in the game without a 3* card.

the rateups i'm less sure about. i think the vbs rateup will be toya, if only because he has less lims than an. niigo will most likely be ena. mizuki5 is likely gonna be either 1 or 2 events away from this so. yeah. leoneed i'm less sure about. there's a leoneed event in september definitely, but i'm not sure who it will be. i initially predicted ichika but considering something shiho said in leoneed wle i wouldn't be surprised if it was her. if it's a shiho event, saki's on 4th anni. if it's an ichika or honami event, shiho is on 4th anni (probably unless they make saki reward card AGAIN).

yeah so emu/toya/ena/saki or shiho 4* + haruka 3*

oh yeah rin is almost definitely fes that'll be explained in like 2 seconds (watch me be wrong)

anyway now that that's out the way

rui basically controls everything here. he has to get a lim this month or he's fes. unless clpl decides to keep him waiting even longer than the gap between kanade fes 1 and spojoy. i've seen some spec over rui/honami/mafuyu but imo...nah. actually this is less for it being darkfes again and more for the mafuyu/rui kizuna that just dropped.

not sure how many people have picked up on this, but the game tends to hold off on giving kizuna until they're "done" with a pair. it explains why groups like the rainbow canvas trio got kizuna immediately but groups like thrilling white day trio took ages to get kizuna. the latter 3 attend the same school and interact quite a lot, so they held off so they had more fleshed out dynamics to pick title names from, but ena doesn't really have a huge window of opportunity for further interaction with emu and honami, so they're about as fleshed out as those dynamics will get after one event.

obviously the stories are only written so far ahead, so things do change, like shizuku and tsukasa interacting again in pandemonium ages after their kizuna title released (though their titles probably would be the same had the kizuna released later). this would also explain the delay on emu + bad dogs kizuna and the mafuyu/rui one, maybe they planned something more but the opportunity never came so they gave in. like seriously if mafuyu and rui are gonna have an event together soon why would they add their kizuna just before it? like maybe hypothetical honami/mafuyu/rui event provides nothing for their dynamic but i dunno it feels like an odd choice.

ANYWAY maybe i'm wrong. for some other possible lineups, there's ichika/honami/rui who all have some level of interest in gardening, ichika/nene who aren't on first-name basis even after that one 4koma where they accidentally slipped up, mafuyu and nene have no proper interactions yet so that's an interesting dynamic you could explore, or you could do an an/ichika broadcasting club event (this is the least likely option). i mean maybe they will just eliminate almost everyone who's still on 5 lims in one fair sweep by doing honami/rui/mafuyu august event into saki/toya/emu/ena anni + honami/rin fes, but seriously when has the game been that nice with distribution meta, especially with whatever is going on right now.

oh yeah for normal september events it'll be leoneed and niigo. saki basically has to be rateup whatever way you do it. maybe ichika/saki/honami or ichika/saki/vsinger. mizuki5 is where things get interesting because although people have speculated mizuki/ena/meiko, there's the possibility of this backing onto the anniversary event where one of them has to be limited. you could always do n25->ln->anniv tho and that solves the problem. or mizuki5 could be mizuki/mafuyu/meiko if the game decides it hates the concept of plot relevant 4*s.

i think i've contradicted myself like 5 times now. here's a rough mockup of some of my thoughts (ignore where it says EN name i just write my notes in the ensekai column)

[xxstraykidsaikoxx]

ᴠᴀʟᴇɴᴛɪɴᴏ ᴍᴄᴏ̨ᴜᴇᴇɴ || ᴊᴇᴏɴɢɪɴ

(sᴛʀᴀʏ ᴋɪᴅs) x ɴɪɴᴛʜ ғ!ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀ

The ambassadors for Valentino and Alexander McQueen have been invited to attend the W KOREA November 2023 Event! How will the Maknaes of SKZ handle it?

ෆ contents: fluff, wholesome moments

ෆ word count: 763

ෆ note - hey everyone! apologies for being away since my last post but ive been busy coming up with my next move! I'll explain the details in a later post, but basically im starting a new series of small/medium one-shots going more in depth in aiko's relationships with the members. today is for jeongin and we'll make our way to channie! hope you all enjoy!

Ever since they'd gotten the news, the two maknaes of Stray Kids had been both mentally and physically preparing for this day. Both Jeongin and Aiko had been invited to the W Korea event as ambassadors for their respective brands; Aiko for Valentino, and Jeongin for Alexander McQueen. Aiko and Jeongin are very close, all due to the fact that they're so close age, so when receiving word that they'd be arriving together made them feel more at ease, especially Aiko. It had been only a month or so since she had been made a global ambassador and, unlike her older members like Hyunjin, Felix and Jeongin, Aiko wasn't that comfortable with being too much in the spotlight. That being said, when the night of the event finally rolled around, she was a little nervous.

The car that was carrying the youngest members of SKZ was only moments away from dropping the two off at the famous W Korea event. "Ai, you've been fidgeting with your dress for the entire way here, are you sure you'll be okay?", Jeongin pressed, "I'll be fine, oppa, I'm just not used to events like this." Aiko replied, "It doesn't help being in this dress.." She added quietly. The dress Ai had been placed in was a short black dress with sequins sewed in nearly every where and one thing about Aiko, is that she despises sequins. It also didn't help that it was slightly cold by the time they'd arrived, and of course her dress had been slightly higher in the front part of the skirt, exposing her legs to the cold, unwelcoming air. When it was finally their turn to step out of the vehicle and onto the carpet, Jeongin took Ai's hand gently, "Listen, if you really need to leave, all you have to do is ask alright?" He mused. Aiko gave him a gentle smile. Jeongin had always looked out for her, as if she was his sister. Taking a deep breath, they stepped out into a sea of flashing lights. With linked arms, Aiko and Jeongin made their way down the carpet and into the center, where all the other idols and celebrities had been paused to take pictures. Making their way to their seats, Aiko had spotted a few of her idol friends, such as the members of ITZY minus Lia, Soobin of TXT, and more importantly, Jennie of BLACKPINK. Aiko's inner Blink cheered and suddenly this event didn't seem so bad anymore.

It was only 7 minutes when Aiko's attention span had begun to grow thin. She started to wonder how all these people could sit there for an hour or two, just to make an appearance and look pretty. Obviously she was greatful for the opportunity Valentino had given her, but she personally wasn't a huge fan of stuffy events like this. Thankfully she had her partner in crime by her side. Jeongin noticed her little mind begin to wonder, so he'd begun to talking to Ai to keep her entertained enough, as weird as that sounds. "Wow, look at her outfit.." Jeongin pointed out, "Jeongin! Don't judge people in public like this!" Aiko tried to calm him down a bit but even she had to admit to herself that the outfit this lady was wearing was everything wrong on a fashion test. "Ai, don't lie to yourself she looks like she's wearing a curtain from my grandmother's house." Aiko had to laugh at that one. As the air grew colder, it became more prominent that Aiko's legs had been subjected to the cool air. This didn't go unnoticed, especially when Ai had been trying to pull her dress down a little more. Jeongin being the gentleman he was raised to be offered his jacket to her, even when Aiko tried refusing, he didn't take no for an answer. The younger idol was reminded how Jeongin was with her, how he cared for her. Ever since her accident in where Jeongin had found her, he'd been more protective and worrisome over her, like any big brother would be.

Luckily for Aiko, the event had picked up a bit and everyone had started to lighten up. When the event was all over and done with and they were back at their hotel room, the decided to go live on Instagram to talk and joke about the whole thing. "Out of all the dresses they could've put me in it had to be the one with sequins!" Aiko complained. Jeongin laughed along with her, happy that his younger sister was finally comfortable again.

©straykidsaiko

ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ

[gray--abyss]

I wanted to figure out a likely timeline of Dan/Phantom/Whatever-his-name-is's spiral into evil, for writing him and stuff.

CONTENT WARNING: Discussion of suicide and themes of suicide starts below cut.

1. nasty patty incident

2. danny is grieving, but hopes for at least his parents to come back- after all, they had unfinished research, an obsession and thirst for knowledge. his justifications for how Sam, Tucker, and his sister would come back are flimsy, and he knows it. He can't stand the pitying looks from his former tormenters. His aunt, Alicia- not a gentle woman, but doing her best- comes out from the country to supervise him.

3. End of month 1: the funeral. Danny starts to grow more outwardly volatile, instead of directing his despair inward. He exchanges contact information with Vlad, and the two enter an uneasy truce as they enter closer contact.

4. After 6 months, he tries to tell Alicia about the half ghost thing, and she doesn't take it badly- but she admits that she doesn't know how to help with that. Danny isn't sure what he's been expecting, but it's not what he wants. He can't stand to be in Amity Park anymore, and asks Vlad and Alicia if he can move in with him. they both agree, and he moves in with Vlad.

5. month 7: Danny is miserable at this new school, in this new, empty house. He feels like a ghost here more than he ever has before. the fear and hatred he harbors towards Vlad has only amplified with the closer proximity, and the mans security measures certainly don't help. His hatred for himself grows, being too weak to save his family, too weak to tough things out in Amity while waiting for his family.

Content warnings apply below. I promise it's not All doom and gloom, but given it's Phantom... there's a lot of it.

6. Month 8: Danny decides that if his family doesn't come back, he will commit a kind of suicide, removing his ghost half, then his ghost half removing and dispatching Vlad's ghost half. He decides that 2 against 1 will be the best method, and that's where the idea of fusing with Vlad's ghost half comes in. After all, if either of them can kill their combined ghost, that'll be safer for everyone. One last "heroic" act. He just has to trick Vlad.

7. Month 10: Danny gives up, and executes on the plan. He's sick of wasting time being sad. Phantom doesn't want to die, and successfully kills Danny, and fails to kill Vlad. He doesn't realize Vlad didn't die in that explosion.

8. After the rush of revenge, Phantom feels really weird about it. It was only fair, Danny was going to kill him, but he realizes he didn't think through what it'd be like living as part Vlad. But hey- he doesn't have to juggle school, politics, or feigning humanity anymore. He can go keep an eye on his home now, and figure out how to spend his afterlife! He gets in contact with Alicia, letting her know a less... scary version of his suicide, and that he's going to be hanging around in Amity Park again. (... He still hasn't really given up on someone coming back.)

9. When he finally gets back to FentonWorks, he's furious to find his former schoolmates partying in his house, and nearly attacks them, but calms down just enough to only yell at them. He doesn't care about keeping things secret anymore, and lets the secret slip. He doesn't miss how their treatment of Phantom changes. He can almost accept this not-as-pitiful respect.

10. For the next 3 months (at 1 year 1 month post incident), he tries to protect Amity Park. He causes more property damage than before. He notes and tries to ignore his increased aggression, but after he actually injures Valerie, the only person left that he "trusts", he panics, and drops her off at the hospital. Enough is enough, and at a town hall meeting that he doesn't attend, they decide to bring in the feds to deal with the local phantom.

11. Upon FentonWorks being raided, he's furious. He's been protecting these people, and for what? This isn't fair! Phantom kills a few of the GIW, before making a declaration to the whole of town with a souped up megaphone he stole from the GIW: If they don't want his help, then he'll be what they think he is- just an another evil Phantom.

12. In the next 2 months, he causes mass chaos, but fails to cause much damage to GIW and the government. He's just one ghost, after all. He retreats into the ghost zone, and convinces Skulker to take him on as an apprentice. He does have fun hunting and fighting ghosts, after all, and it can help him hone and perfect techniques.

13. for the next 3 1/2 years (4 years 9 months post incident), Phantom almost entirely lives in the ghost zone, only traveling to the world of the living for special occasions. He's figured out how he wants to look by year 2 post incident- basically an idealized version of how he would've wanted to look as an adult. He sets out on his list of revenge, targeting ghosts and enemies that he feels have personally wronged him.

14. To graduate from his apprenticeship, he and Skulker have a hunt-off. Obviously, Phantom wins, and graduates. The hunt lasts 3 months. (5 years post incident)

15. This isn't to say Phantom had no social afterlife... with ghosts he was previously allied or friends with, he tried to keep those relationships. Wulf isn't about what he's up to, and distances himself to an acquaintance. Phantom parties with Dorathea, allies himself with Fright Knight, actually befriends Klemper for when he just needs a chill hangout, convinces Poindexter to help him in researching ghost stuff, and helps Bones babysit Youngblood, just for examples of relationships he has with canon ghosts. He's a combination of two very social and dramatic ghosts, so he's honestly kind of goofy when he's not being actively menacing.

16. He does not acknowledge the not-being-able-to-be-seen-by-adults thing that Youngblood has going on, deciding that he must be an adult at this point, and the fact that he can see Youngblood is a Fully Ghost thing. Youngblood thinks it's a bit he's doing and plays along- it is Not a fully Ghost Thing

17. He does some trial runs on attacking security companies and billionaires in the month before the next Incident Anniversary.

18. On the 5 year anniversary of the Nasty Patty Incident, Phantom launches a successful attack on the GIW, destroying their facilities. He begins razing USA government agencies and offices, because genuinely, they have been such a pain for him. He doesn't attack postal offices or bus systems. When other countries allied with the USA try to attack Phantom, he starts targeting them as well.

19. Something that... basically everyone but Phantom himself notices, is that the only average-people civilians he targets are people in Amity Park.

20. At year 6, the USA as we know it is gone- people still live there, the only places actually uninhabitable being former military bases, and a 50 mile radius around Amity Park. Phantom starts making a concerted, focused effort to attack Amity Park, starting an arms race between him and Valerie.

21. It's unnerving for Valerie to see how little he's changed, even with a shiny new coat of evil paint and an adult-ish appearance. She can't help but think it looks an awful lot like a superhero that Danny used to like.

22. At year 9, he decides that he's done all he's wanted, and that Valerie will be strong enough to kill him- so he plans one last fight with her- either he'll win, and be uncontested in strength... Or he'll lose, setting the balances of justice right once again. He's excited to see how strong she's gotten. ... Despite all he says, he hopes she'll win, and he'll get a "happy" ending, even if it isn't his.

[writerblue275]

The One That Could Break My Heart (Chapter 1)

Inspiration: "Houdini" and “Break My Heart” - Dua Lipa and “Got Me Started” - Troye Sivan

Champion: Ezreal (Pilty/Explorer/FWB!Ez)

Summary: Your best friend (with benefits) has finally returned from his two months abroad, and the two of you pick up like nothing has changed. Or have they? (Gaaaah I’m no good at summaries, either creative or academic lmao.)

Genre: Song-inspired fic

Category: Fluff and SMUT-ish (18+ ONLY. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT)

Gender: Reader is ok with traditionally “fem” clothing like lingerie. Future parts (since I’ll be honest I’ve written like the whole story already) lean more towards reader comfortable with using she/her pronouns/are afab.

TW: Adult themes and suggestive stuff. Again, this is friends with benefits here, y’all. Swearing (no shock).

IMPORTANT CONTEXT: If you haven’t already, pause and go read my FWB!EZ headcanon (HERE). This story is set in the same “universe” as that and the headcanon provides important background info and context. It is easier to link that post than explain everything again in this story. Also, it’s likely that I’m taller than Ez, but you know what, sometimes I want to feel tiny so character is shorter than Ez in this one.

^ His smirk/nod to Kai’Sa was literally what got the wheels turning on this whole headcanon/AU in the first place. Look at him. Look at this cocky fucker. I love him lmao.

Key:

“Houdini” lyrics in blue

“Break My Heart” lyrics in orange

“Got Me Started” lyrics in purple

-“Center of attention, you know you can get whatever you want from me; whenever you want it baby.”

You sigh as you look down at the note in your hands, hating how your body has an almost Pavlovian response to this specific penmanship. Your heart speeds up and cheeks heat as you read through the words. The note on top of the three clothing boxes is unsigned, but that doesn't matter. You could recognize the slightly messy handwriting half-asleep.

"Come over later? Have the place to myself the next few days since the professor is away for a conference. Missed you. Here are some gifts to make up for my absence. Wear the green and bring the others."

"Looks like he's back...I wonder for how long this time," you muse to yourself as you contemplate the strange change in routine. It isn’t even the gifts. The appearance of a note and luxury clothing boxes are familiar, arriving like a calling card every time your best friend Ezreal returns from an expedition across the continent. The surprise is the change in location. Usually Ez just comes over to your apartment the moment he drops his things off at home, showers, and changes. He very rarely invites anyone over to the home he shares with his uncle when he is in town.

You quickly scribble off a response and send it off to be delivered to him.

"Of course, but next time, give me some more advanced notice, will you? Believe it or not, I can't just hop into the shower and be ready to go like you can. So, I hope you’re prepared to appreciate the effort. You're buying food, especially if you expect me to deal with your stamina for more than the weekend, Indiana Jones. Thank you for the beautiful gifts. I missed you too, E. See you at 7."

After sending off the note, you quickly flip through the carefully stacked clothing boxes, giggling softly and shaking your head as you confirm he, once again, sent you three expensive, beautiful, and lacy sets of lingerie, one in rich purple, one in black, and one in emerald green. You can't help but reminisce on the now-funny moment when he asked for your permission to buy things like this for you when you two first started your arrangement a year and a half ago. You smile as you remember his laugh at your confused expression. You had initially refused, saying you didn't expect gifts like that from him. It wasn't until he explained the upsides for himself that you finally realized it was beneficial to both parties. Hey…the man had good taste, that could not be denied. You stand lost in thought for a while as you finger the expensive green lace of the set he referenced in his note.

The sound of your mail flap draws you back to reality and signals the delivery of Ez's reply. Quickly, you go over and open the note, unable to hold back a laugh and an eyeroll at his response.

"But that would take away your surprise of being graced with my incredible presence again! As for food, I figured that would be a stipulation. It's on me. Also, when have I not properly appreciated your efforts? I take offense at the insinuation considering I actively contribute to your efforts through said gifts. Don't keep me waiting too long, princess..."

That fucking nickname...he knows damn well what it does to you. It started when you both were much younger, just innocent and teasing banter between childhood friends and he decided that was your nickname. Of course now, many years later, the teasing connotation still exists, but the innocence is largely gone. Between that and the other pet name he calls you when you’re alone together, “baby,” he knows exactly what to say to get what he wants. Then again you can’t really complain since you also want the same thing.

The rest of the afternoon goes by in a blur as you pack and prepare for your time away, putting on just a little makeup and dressing in a skirt and a white blouse that is very barely see through, enough for the green lace underneath to peek through, but easy enough to cover with your nice coat. Once you slip a pair of flats on, you make the shortish walk to the house in the lovely fall weather Piltover is currently having.

-"He’s got the personality, not even gravity could ever hold him down."

Soon enough you find yourself approaching the back door of the grand home. You're early, but you can't imagine Ez would mind much, especially if he’s alone. Curiously, you look up to his bedroom window, which also faces the alley. Sure enough, there he is, watching you with a massive grin. He even blows you an exaggerated kiss. Rolling your eyes, you flip him off, unable to keep from beaming as his loud laughter filters down to you through the window. It is a sound you’d missed desperately these past two months while he was gone. Knocking your familiar pattern, you wait patiently for him to get the door.

It doesn’t take long for him to answer. As soon as the door opens, his smug voice sounds near your ear as he leans forward. “That eager to see me, princess? You’re an hour early…”

Your heart speeds up but you just smirk and turn your head so your lips are very barely separated from his. “I could ask the same of you, Ezreal…seems like you’ve been waiting at your window for quite a while, and I wasn’t even supposed to arrive for another hour…not to mention the speed with which you opened the door. Miss me that much, Indiana Jones?” you murmur. You can’t help the satisfaction you feel as you see his pupils dilate a little bit as he’s affected by your words and how close you are.

The moment extends for a second longer with you two just smirking at each other before he takes your duffel bag, drops it to the ground, and throws his arms around you, burying his face against your neck.

“You know I did,” he says, his words muffled against you as he holds onto you tightly.

“I missed you too, Ez. Welcome home. I’m really glad you’re back,” you murmur as you wrap your arms tightly around his torso and bury your face against his shoulder. Eventually after a minute of just hugging, the two of you finally step back and smile at each other.

“I want to hear about your adventures, but maybe not all the ways you nearly died,” you muse, then laugh at how utterly ridiculous that sounds.

His grin just widens. “Well fortunately or unfortunately for you, I was invited to a dinner thrown by one of the council tomorrow night and since you’re my go-to plus-one, you’ll get to hear all about it, but that also include the not-so-pretty details. You know that’s all the society vultures want to hear about,” he says, grabbing your bag, leading you inside the beautiful home, and allowing you time to remove your shoes and hang up your coat.

-“I come and I go. Prove you got the right to please me.”

“So that’s why you invited me here instead of coming over,” you tease. “You didn’t want to carry a garment bag with a dress and shoes. Tsk tsk Ezreal you’re getting laz-eep!” Your teasing is cut short as he easily sweeps you into a bridal carry and moves up the stairs with you to get to his room.

His smirk is playful as he glances down at you and murmurs, his voice getting a little husky, “Careful, princess…you sure you want to finish that sentence? That’s a strong accusation. You of all people should know I’m not lazy. What did you call my stamina the night I got back last time? “Legendary,” was it? I seem to remember you throwing out that particular word after our events of that evening.”

You grin for a moment as he takes the bait of your trap to tease him, reaching up to play with his soft golden hair. That night had been absolutely mind-blowing, and he wasn’t wrong. You had used “legendary” to describe his stamina because that’s what it was. But, you’re not done riling him up yet, knowing you’re playing a deliciously dangerous game. “That night? Ez that was three months ago! How do I know the wait was worth it since you left? A lot might have changed in the two months you’ve been gone,” you remark with mock sincerity, internally cheering and grinning as he lets out a soft growl and moves a little faster down the hall to get to his room.

Once he’s inside and the door is closed, he immediately sets your duffle bag down before turning his focus to you. The second your feet touch the plush carpet he has you backed up against the door, his arms around your waist pulling you roughly against him, his nose brushing against your nose, and his lips frustratingly close to yours. He’s so close you can see just how many beautiful shades of blue the irises of his eyes have as they surround his slightly blown out pupils. He leans forward and ever-so-lightly brushes his lips against yours, barely making any contact at all before pulling back. As you let out a soft whine and chase his lips, he smirks widely and murmurs, “What’s wrong, (Y/N)? I thought you said a lot might have changed in two months, but it seems to me you’re just as impatient as ever. Not only that, but it seems like you still want me just as much. Am I correct?”

This clever man. He’s managed to completely flip the situation, instead winding you up like a damn toy. You can’t help but let out an exasperated giggle and a breathless “Fuck you, Ez,” before tangling your arms around his neck and kissing him hungrily. You playfully nibble his lower lip as he chuckles against yours, his hands going on a journey to reacquaint themselves with your body. Just like his initial kiss though, his touch is purposefully light in order to work you up even more.

“Ezreal, I swear to fucking God if you don’t touch me like you mean it I’ll never forgive you,” you threaten as your lips move down and nip his neck. You try to imbue your threat with at least a little sharpness, but there’s a thread of neediness that really undermines your intent so you decide to switch tactics. “Especially after I went through all this effort to look so pretty for you.” You give him a mock pout as your arms leave his neck and your hands start working on your blouse buttons, immediately drawing his eyes downward.

You only undo a couple buttons, enough for him to see just a little emerald green lace peek out before your lips move back to his neck. “Good choice with the green, by the way. You remember my favorite color after all this time,” you teasingly purr against him, knowing damn well he has one of the best memories of anyone you’ve ever met. “Finish ‘unwrapping me,’” you throw his own words from previous encounters back at him, “then I can thank you for the beautiful presents and you can show me how much you missed me, what do you think?”

You immediately feel immense satisfaction as he lets out a whisper soft “Holy fuck (y/n)…” under his breath as a reaction to your words, almost like he just can’t help it. As playful as he is, your best friend prides himself on his ability to remain level-headed at almost all times. As he says often, he’d have died many times without it. Being one of the few who can cause Ezreal’s control to slip, especially for this reason, is a point of major pride for you. Even the man himself gives you credit for your abilities to bring him to his knees, literally and figuratively, an honor considering his ego.

He kisses you deeply again before murmuring against your lips, “Legs up around me, baby. Got it? We’re going on a field trip across the room.” He presses himself even closer against you as he cups his hands under your ass to keep you stable.

You instantly obey him, giggling softly in delight as his hands squeeze you. You keep your arms wrapped around his neck as you wrap your legs around his hips, trusting him to support you.

You feel and hear his soft and affectionate chuckle close to your ear as you happily nuzzle his cheek while he carries you. “That’s it, princess…look at you, so good for me…I missed you so much, baby.”

You let out a noise of pleasure as his hands continue to squeeze and knead you. “F-fuck I missed this…I missed you so much, Ez,” you murmur.

Ezreal sits on the edge of his massive bed, keeping you in his lap as he gently makes you look at him so he can kiss you again. His lips are hungry, his hands tangle in your hair, and you swear you lose all sense of time when he kisses you like that.

Eventually he pulls away slightly and rests his forehead against yours, his heavy breathing mixing with your own. “Stand between my legs, princess. Let me undress you,” he very gently commands.

You eagerly scramble off his lap and do as he asks, moving your hands back up to your shirt to help him unbutton it.

“Baby no….I want to do it,” Ezreal murmurs softly, gently grabbing your hands and giving them a squeeze as he looks up at you with a soft smile. “You may touch me, but let me undress you,” his order is tender, his voice filled with affection, but it is still an order nonetheless.

“S-sorry,” you softy respond and blush as you quickly put your hands together behind your back, wanting to be good for him.

“It’s alright, baby…I appreciate how eager you are. It shows me how much you missed me,” he soothes as he reaches up and gently cups your cheek, allowing you time to close your eyes and lean happily into his warm touch. After a moment or two, he gently removes his hand and starts on your shirt, pulling it out of the waistband of your skirt and beginning to work on the buttons. It doesn’t take him long to have your shirt open in front, revealing more of the beautiful and intricate emerald green lace that was hiding underneath.

You love how dark his eyes turn as he takes you in. “As I said, Indiana Jones, excellent choice with the green. I adore it,” you remark teasingly as he lets out a soft growl of appreciation.

“Damn, I think I’ve really outdone myself,” Ezreal murmurs, almost more to himself than to you. He looks up at you as he gently starts to work on your skirt. “You look absolutely incredible, princess. I know you like the color, but do you like the style? Is it comfortable? Do you feel as gorgeous as you look, baby?” He asks, his questions filled with a genuine curiosity that makes you smile.

You nod, setting a hand on his shoulder to stabilize yourself as you kick your skirt away once he has it down your legs. “It’s very comfortable and I feel so beautiful in this, Ez. You know my style very well at this point, so trust me when I say I’m never concerned I won’t like something you get me,” you confirm, moving your hand on his shoulder to gently play with his hair. You love the happy little sigh he lets out as you gently massage his scalp with your nails.

“Good,” he replies. “I just want you to see yourself as I see you. Sexy, brilliant, witty, strong, and irreplaceable.”

“Y-you think I’m all that, Ez?” Surprise creeps into your tone as you blush deeply. His words are unexpectedly sweet and you can tell he’s being serious. It’s quite a change of character from a man who is usually so playful and teasing when it comes to your intimate moments together.

He gently wraps his arms around you and pulls you deeper in between his legs, leaning forward and laying soft kisses on the bare skin under your bra. He stuns you even more as he says, “Of course I do. And if I’ve ever failed to show you that through my actions, then I hope you will please forgive me.”

You very gently tug on his hair, making him look up at you before you lean down and kiss him softly but passionately. You just kiss him for a moment before murmuring, “Ezreal, there’s nothing to forgive. You’ve always believed in me and defended me for who I am since our friendship started almost two decades ago. Between your actions and words, you’ve repeatedly made it clear you believe what you’ve said. Sometimes it’s just a bit unbelievable to know I have someone as great as you in my corner to hype me up and make me feel so amazing and…well…desired. Self-love is just something I’m still working on.” You straighten yourself back up and hum happily as he returns his attentions back to your torso.

He murmurs against your skin, “Always happy to help you there, princess. Happy to tell you as many times, tell you as many things, and show you as many times as I need to for you to believe it.” His lips are now getting more and more passionate, including little sucks and nibbles.

You can’t help but lean your head back and close your eyes. “Let me guess,” you sigh with mock disappointment, “I’m going to get a lot of marks that I’ll have to deal with during the next few days.”

He grins against your skin before looking up at you, his chin resting on your tummy. “You know me so well, princess. I’ll try to make sure they’re not obvious,” he teases, completely returning to the playful lover you’ve gotten used to.

You look back down at him. “See that you do please. I’d like to avoid a repeat of last time. During one of the rare times both of my brother and I could make it to my parents’ house, he pulled me aside during dinner and asked me what the hell I’d been doing to get hickies on my neck and jaw. Hickies I didn’t realize were there, Ezreal. I saved your sexy ass, you know. He tried to get a name out of me. When he guessed you as a potential “suspect” I’m pretty sure I felt my entire soul leave my body. I had to lie and play everything off. Not an easy feat since I spend quite a bit of time with you when you’re home, and that’s something my brother is well aware of. Do you know how difficult it is to lie to your own twin brother?! He was ready to go on the warpath. I’m still not totally convinced he believes me that it wasn’t you, but you’re alive so he must believe me enough. Or he’s smart enough to know I’d kill him with my bare hands if he did anything to you. Oh, and also, disappearing for a few minutes at dinner only to come back downstairs with a scarf on wasn’t exactly subtle and my parents realized what was up. They didn’t ask me anything directly, but I’m pretty sure my mother said your name when I overheard them discussing it later on. My own parents talked about it, you fuck. You should have told me they were there,” you playfully complain and mock pout.

His grin turns more and more into a smirk and his hands continue to wander throughout your mini tangent. “My sexy ass and I appreciate your assistance in making sure I lived to see another day, princess,” he comments. “I’ll make sure to learn from my…mistakes, though you certainly enjoyed the process of getting those marks, if my memory serves me correctly. It usually does.” He winks at you.

This earns an eye roll and a sigh from you, even though he’s very right. “If you want to keep your mouth running, Ez, might I suggest you use it in a different manner on a different location? At least make it even more useful to me…” You let out breathlessly as your impatience starts to get the better of you.

“Tsk tsk, so impatient. I thought you were thanking me for the gifts first, princess,” he responds smugly as he undresses you the rest of the way.

You quickly undress him before gently pushing him to lay back on his bed, straddling him and leaning down so your lips are barely separated. “You drive me fucking crazy sometimes, you know that, Indiana Jones?” You whisper before nipping his bottom lip.

“The feeling is quite mutual, princess,” he whispers back with a wicked smirk. “Now come on…show me how much you really missed me…”

So you do. And he shows you how very VERY much he missed you in return.

(A/N: I’m so sorry, I tried to write this out as a full smut scene but it was just no good so fade to black it is for now. 🙃)

“I need something that will make me believe. If you got it, baby, give it to me.”

An hour and a half later, you lay completely satisfied with your head on Ezreal’s shoulder and hand on his chest, feeling his slowing heart rate thump against your palm. As you do, Ez is happily playing with your hair and gently tracing shapes into your bare hip with his free hand as your breathing and heart rate return to normal. You’re both just enjoying the feeling of being together again and savoring the comfortable and companionable silence you two have felt with each other for a long time. Well…silence until your stomach decides to make its displeasure at being empty loudly known. You feel Ez’s shoulder shift a little as he turns his head to look down at you as best he can.

“Hungry?” he murmurs softly, amusement evident in his voice. As he gives you the chance to respond, he gently kisses your temple, making you blush at the sweet little gesture.

You nod and shyly respond, “I thought we’d have dinner before we got to our…main events for the evening. We’ve been doing this for long enough though that I really should have known better. I’m just as impatient as you are.” You gently smirk up at him, enjoying the playful flicker of delight in his eyes.

A grin appears on his handsome face. “Come on now, princess. I know you’re smarter than that,” he teases gently as he carefully sits up with you. “What do you feel like having? We have leftovers, or we can order something to be delivered. Whatever you prefer.”

You think for a moment, biting your bottom lip. “I know this is probably a stretch, but do you happen to have any soup? It’s starting to get colder outside now that fall finally arrived,” you muse as you glance out the window on the far side of the room where the sun has already gone down. “I was thinking on the way over that it’s soup weather.”

Ezreal nods and murmurs, “Chef had the same thought. She told me she made some turkey and rice soup yesterday. She and the rest of the staff have the next few days off while my uncle is away, but she showed me where the leftovers were. I’ll go heat some and bring it up, along with some water. Knowing you, you probably haven’t had much today…have you?” He gets up before leaning back over you, bracketing you in with his arms, nearly nose-to-nose with you, a knowing expression in his eyes and a small smile gracing his lips. As close as he is, your body is already begging for him to come closer again, despite your currently exhausted and sated state.

You shake your head and temporarily hide your face in the soft blankets covering the bed and sigh. “God damnit we’ve been friends for far too long. You know me too well, Ez. Yes, water is definitely needed…” You peek back out at him over the blankets and giggle as you watch the smile on his face grow wider and wider.

He laughs and leans down, pulling down the blankets before giving you a surprisingly slow, tender, and deep kiss before haphazardly throwing on his pants and shirt and going out the door. He leaves you staring after him in surprise, heart fluttering, breathing a little shallow, and cheeks even more flushed after the intensity of that kiss. He’s been super…affectionate today. While Ezreal has never been an asshole after your moments together, neither has he gone way out of his way to….well to act so sweet either. Certainly he’s never heated up leftovers for you.

You shake your head, shaking away all those strange thoughts. I’m sure it’s just because he’s hosting me for a few days. And besides, wasn’t he talking about making sure his actions show me how he sees me? I’m thinking way too much into it! You happily sigh and get up, walking around to stretch your legs while you wait. After pulling on the bottoms of the emerald green set that Ez so carelessly tossed to the side earlier, you end up throwing on a shirt you pull out of his dresser as you check yourself out in the mirror on top of it. Usually he offers you his shirt when he’s at your place, but since he’s currently wearing it, this will have to do.

You shyly bring the collar of the shirt to your nose and inhale. A whisper soft noise of pleasure slips out from your lips, along with a smile as you confirm that yes, even after two months of him being away, the fabric still smells just like him. He’s always smelled nice. You don’t know what it is or what exact product is responsible for this fucking sorcery, but his “smell” has always been comforting for you. Probably because we’ve been friends forever, you think. It’s just one of those parts of him that has grown to be so familiar to me. You continue to ponder the matter as you hold the collar of the T-shirt up.

“It’s you in my reflection, I’m afraid of all the things it could do to me.”

As you look up to the mirror again, you jump a little in surprise as you meet Ezreal’s gaze in the reflection. He’s leaning against the doorway, just watching you with an amused smile as he holds a tray with two steaming bowls of soup and glasses of water. You let out a soft complaint as your cheeks heat and your hands immediately straighten out the shirt. “Damnit, Ezreal! How long have you been there?”

He just shakes his head a little and chuckles. “Just got here. And I wasn’t even trying to surprise you this time. You were just lost in thought,” he observes. “What had you thinking so much?” He waits until you’re settled back on his bed with the covers over your lap before passing the tray to you so he can also climb back in. He also pulls another tray from his night stand, carefully transferring one of the bowls and glasses to it so both of you have your own trays to eat from.

You watch him, waiting until he’s done before you start speaking. “There’s no point in lying. You already practically read me like an open book. You, actually. Specifically how surprisingly good you smell. Granted I haven’t been on a two-month-long excursion with you where there are limited bathing options. Trust me, I’m extremely grateful you shower and change before you come to my place/invite me over once you get home. But, anyway, whenever I see you, at least, you and your clothes smell very nice. I was also thinking about how familiar and…comforting? your “smell” has become to me. I guess that’s what happens when you’ve been best friends with someone for nearly two decades. It’s just one of those small things that becomes a part of you knowing the person.”

He nods, his expression thoughtful. “You’re right,” he observes. “I’ve never thought about it like that, but you also have what I would consider to be a “comforting smell.” Though, what’s interesting is how it doesn’t have to be static. It can be dynamic but still be definitely yours. Like today. You’re trying a new perfume out, yeah? Or at least one I haven’t noticed you use before.”

You’d been eating the delicious soup while he was talking. When that question left his lips, your spoon froze halfway to your mouth in surprise. “You’re right, actually, I am! Granted it’s in the same collection as the couple others I have so it’s not crazy different from the others I wear. Honestly that’s impressive, Ez,” you note before finally finishing the soup spoon’s journey to your mouth.

He gives you a victorious smile. “I knew it! I think a lot of it is the fact that we’ve known each other so long. I can just tell when something is different. By the way, the perfume, it smells good. I like it,” he remarks casually, causing you to laugh in between sips of water.

“Duly noted,” you acknowledge. “I brought the sample size with me so I’ll wear it tomorrow for the event. Speaking of tomorrow’s event, I’m imagining you also have a dress and shoes ready for me somewhere? Usually you send them with whatever “special” presents you’ve ordered for me, but I suppose since I was already coming over here there was no need.”

He nods and tilts his head to gesture towards his closet, a sly smile on his lips. “All good. It's in there with my suit, sugar baby,” he jokes. His unexpected tease causes you to lean your head back and laugh loudly, a genuine belly laugh that only a couple people, mostly him, manage to draw out of you.

“You’re a fucker sometimes, you know that, Ez?” you manage to get out as you suppress even more laughter.

He just grins widely at you before unabashedly stating, “Oh I’m well aware. But guess what? I’m your fucker, princess.”

Thank you for reading! Oh my GOD chapter 1 has been so much fun to write. I will say, this has hung out in my drafts for a little bit, mainly due to nerves, but I finally realized I just need to let it go and post it before I psych myself out completely. Chapter 2 is essentially written already, I’m just editing it a bit more.

[dropoutfailure]

Would absolutely love to hear more about mishka and gus? Like anything really. Maybe you could explain the timeline of how their story happens (i love that kind of thing) or just tell me something you find interesting about them or just ramble whats on your mind?

I'm excited to answer, but are YOU excited for the wall of text you're about to see?? I probably overthought and revised this answer for way too long. these OCs have wayyyy too much lore and backstory which I might draw at some point. eventually.

backstory in short:

Mishka is a 22yo depressed lonely college dropout NEET trans guy. he's in love with his dad, bc he can't connect to new people easily, and his dad's the only one who has just always been there for him, unconditionally.

his 45yo dad Gustav is a woodworking teacher. a single father who's doing his best. caring, and maybe even lenient with his precious son. he does not reciprocate though. at first.

backstory in long:

so basically Mishka was doomed from the start. his mom was not good at being a mother (violent) and gave him childhood trauma. she left eventually, and dad became a single father when Mishka was 7-9. he comes out as a trans boy in his teens, 14-15. his dad is accepting but his school is not. he makes no permanent connections in 12 years of being in school. just internet friends.

Mishka drops out of college at 22 because of many problems piling up there (adhd, loneliness, misunderstandings, transphobia) and overwhelming him for months. he breaks down in the middle of his last year of undergraduate (he probably could've weathered the storm and finished...), gives up, drops out, goes home and holes up in his room, in his dad's apartment...

Mishka developed a crush on his dad while halfway through college, at around 21 yeard old, but thought he'd get over it and not feel that way anymore when he got back home. lol. lmao.

when dad hugs him after he gets off the train, that notion quickly disappears.

at first he tries to hide it. he doesn't want his dad to hate him. Gustav is happy to see him again, and can tell something's bothering his son, but can never get a straightforward answer. he's worried.

confession scene comic drafts:

eventually, after a month of being back home, Mishka says "fuck it, I've already fucked up my life, I'm already a social outcast, I'm already a garbagefire, I have nothing to lose, I'll tell my dad and either he feels the same or he disowns me!!"

(here, I'll add some sketches I've made for the confession scene. amongst other sketches.)

Mishka confesses kinda hopeful (delusional) that maybe his dad might feel the same.

...but dad does NOT feel the same... he takes some time to process what he just heard.

Mishka is red in the face, sweating, panicking, tearing up bc this is humiliating and painfully awkward and he "should not have told him, should have taken it to the grave!! fuuuuuck"

Gustav is confused and concerned. it doesn't register until he asks again and Mishka's like "this is humiliating enough, don't make me say it again...."

(I need to work out the dialogue here I think..... Gus doesn't disown him, he's extremely uncomfortable with the idea, but ALSO doesn't want to reject Mishka!! he's at a loss and doesn't know how to respond so he's like "it's late, I need some time to think, let's talk about this tomorrow")

he loves his son. but not like that.

(extra long post and more sketches under the Keep Reading)

and then there's an awkward moment / fake-out where Mishka may or may not have been aiming for a kiss. dad turns that down real fast though, uncomfortable. Mishka fears this may have just caused a permanent rift between them, that they can never be affectionate again, and begs him to forget the whole thing.

Gustav can tell that Mishka's gonna be agonizing over this (oh, Gus is too. but doesn't want to double the panic here*) and tells his son to not hurt himself. (Mishka tends to pull at his hair and scratch his skin up to release emotion)

*main things on Gustav's mind: since he's a teacher, he would not only get fired, but hunted for sport if he was actually in an illicit relationship with his son, so he really doesn't want to even entertain the idea. especially since he already feels like he's on thin ice at his workplace - he's good at his job, but it's an open secret that he's "gay" (he's not even gay, he's bi!!)

they retreat to their rooms to turn in for the night. Mishka writes to his bestie Kaito who's the only one he talks to about his feelings for his dad (strangers on the internet and people who took his incest vagueposting as a joke don't count haha).

Gus looks to the internet for any advice on this situation he never expected to be in as a father. "wtf do I do when my own flesh and blood, my own son, half my age, is in love with me, romantically? and maybe sexually?? how do I turn him down without hurting his feelings" he somehow phrases it in such a way that he mostly gets porn results, which is the opposite of what he's looking for! XD it's a very popular porn category and that makes him feel even worse.

here's another WIP I'm trying to work on about this scene. the confession, plus a moment when Gus remembers fearing homophobia in his teen years, but confessing to a classmate regardless (he's bi but most people assume he's either gay or straight)... and immediately shuts it down, thinking to himself "wait that's not even remotely the same thing!! s-some things are societally unacceptable with good reason!"

I'm just trying to work out the dialogue more, to better show Gustav's confusion, apprehension, empathy and an attempt at a gentle rejection.

afterward, they try to go on as normal but now that it's out there, Mishka gets bolder with his affection. and gets reprimanded. occasionally. Gustav's body welcomes the touch, but Gus himself is not happy with this for a multitude of reasons!!!! it's ok, he gets over his incest aversion. he may have felt some sort of way about Mishka's scruffy facial hair and deeper voice when he saw him again for the first time in half a year, but chalked it up to aesthetic appreciation? "what the hell, my son's grown so much... he's so cute... uh, objectively."

they got some mutual desperation and loneliness going on, they're perfect for each other.

I like this fragile and uncertain time in their life and relationship the most so I draw it the most. guilty and hesitant indulgence in forbidden fruit... typical will-they-wont-they situation. but it's like they-probably-shouldnt. but they will.

thanks for asking!! 💘 hope this has been an interesting read. glad you like my characters. :) if this caused more questions than answers, feel free to ask more about them!

[stranger-rants]

Runaway Max Annotation Series

This is part of a series I am doing on Runaway Max by Brenna Yovanoff. To see previous posts including the annotation guide, check the [#rm annotations] tag on my blog. These posts will follow the general formula of summary, annotations, quotes, and any thoughts or analysis I want to provide based on my own interpretation of the text. You can use my posts as references in fandom discussions.

Runaway Max Chapter Two

Max and Billy experience their first day of school. Max talks about her life back in San Diego, and why she tried to run away to L.A. to be with her dad.

Annotations:

1) Background

Their first day of school was "a Tuesday, more than a month after school already started," which means they started school mid-October. Max had friends in San Diego named Ben, Eddie, and Nate. She didn't have female friends.

2) Family Context

Max ran away to stay with her dad in L.A. after she had been told that they were moving to Hawkins. Susan views her ex-husband as wasting his smarts on irresponsible things and inconsistent work. He did some illegal jobs here and there, and he lives in a dingy apartment.

3) Unreliable Statements / Limited P.O.V.

Max says that she thinks having Billy around is making Susan crazy, but there's little to no context explaining why she thinks this. Susan is getting them ready for school, and Billy doesn't say or do much of anything to combat this.

4) Evidence of Abuse / Neglect

Neil is the one making them move. Max thinks that Susan is just going along with it. Max's father is not a responsible parent. He is often late in picking her up and frequently falls asleep in front of the T.V. Susan doesn't trust him to take care of Max, which begs the question - why would she trust Billy to take care of Max?

6) Max & Billy Relationship

There isn't much antagonism between them in this chapter which is odd given the supposed circumstances that lead to the move not yet revealed or even hinted at early in the novel. Instead, there is an attempt at solidarity in being pissed off about the move - Billy says Hawkins sucks and says, "I bet you're already planning your next jailbreak right?"

7) Valuable Insights

Susan and Max disagree greatly on how a young girl should dress and act.

8) Billy's Characterization

Billy is enraged by the move. Max says he "lost it" when he found out, but he expresses this mostly by keeping to himself. He blasts his music in his room and refuses to eat dinner with the family. Billy is told by Susan to drive Max to the middle school and walk in with her to make sure she gets what she needs. Billy drops her off, refusing to go in.

Quote(s):

Billy rolled his head sideways to look at me. "But I don't want to, Max. They're not paying me to babysit you. If you don't like it, maybe tomorrow you can walk."

This chapter reveals just how poorly planned this book is because there's not a drop of a hint of a piece of evidence as to why the family moved to Hawkins, even though fans adamantly use this book as evidence that the move was all Billy's fault. There is no hint that Billy blames Max or that Max blames Billy for it.

I know that later information contradicts this by putting blame on Billy's violence, but information that is revealed later on isn't meant to contradict the entire tone of a chapter but rather enhance it. The feeling the reader gets from this chapter is that Max and Billy didn't want to move, and they're unhappy in Hawkins.

Not that they're ready to kill each other over it.

I am endlessly fascinated that Max's mom doesn't want Max around her father because he's "irresponsible" but then turns around and expects her step son to babysit Max for free. It's his first day, too, and she expects him to not only drive her to school but check her in when he has to do that for himself when he gets to the high school.

Billy explains himself clearly and logically to Max as to why he's not going to do what Susan wants him to do, and you know what? He's right. Not only that, but Max is perfectly capable of checking herself in. The statement that Billy is "driving Susan crazy" is also random and lacking context, making Billy out to be the "bad guy" for being an annoyed teenager.

This doesn't mean that Billy hasn't done anything to piss her off or drive her crazy, but there is absolutely no context for the statement that explains what he's saying or doing that's so wrong. I cannot emphasize enough that statements are just made about Billy with little to no detail backing them up, so the reader is just expected to believe Max.

Max was also unlikeable in this chapter for one main reason - the "I'm not like other girls" attitude she carries. It's fine that she doesn't vibe with femininity in the way that her mother expects her too, but she puts herself above other girls in many ways to make herself "different" from them. She is a child, though, so this can change over time.

Back to Susan... Again. I have to say this again.

If Susan really doesn't trust Max's father to take care of her, it makes no narrative sense to expect Billy, her step son who she supposedly can't stand, to be Max's babysitter. It's irresponsible. If she wants Max checked in at school, she can do it herself because that's certainly not Billy's job when he also has school to go to.

The main thing we learn about Billy is that Billy is basically parentified and somehow that makes him the bad guy.

[ambrosialdesire]

Idk what type of drugs you put into your yandere Reiner series but it has been on my mind 24/7/365 I need tiny crumbs 🤲 anything, I need anything 😞

AAAAA TYYY i've seen you all the time in my activity and i wanna thank you so much for your constant support! <3

you want more cacoëthes reiner so here’s some more cacoëthes reiner crumbs!!! (also bc i want to write something else rn so i can keep writing the thing i was supposed to post a few weeks ago LOL) and on my kinktober list, there was an epilogue that i was supposed to write (AND I WILL I STG IM TRYING YALL BUT IM JUST BEING BOMBARDED WITH THIS FAST AF PACED PROGRAM 😭) and that was supposed to be a peek inside their relationship during her the first couple months into her pregnancy.

anyways, both the reader (or you lol) and reiner could not keep each other's hands off each other after that night, even though you swear on your entire family's dead souls that you hated him. his big fat cock was too irresistible to continue abstaining from and it's reiner, bro's a little too insatiable for only one round. he ain’t complaining though and he loves to fuck out those endearing i love you’s out of you, so two wins for him ig 😭

and of course, from a previous ask from an anon, reader does indeed get pregnant from the constant action lmfao

but ambro, couldn't the reader have done something to get rid of the child? yeah she/you could've, if not for the fact that you had began to develop feelings towards him (although its mostly bc of the amount of trauma you went through, extreme stockholm syndrome, and heavy coping you had to do in the aotverse, reiner’s the only stable thing in your life so you’re going to cling onto the closest thing of security you have, which is your captor unfortunately 💀) and you're kinda not opposed to it anymore. cacoëthes reader had always wanted to have a family but never thought it could be possible since giving life to a child in a world full of titans wasn't really ideal for starting one. lucky for you, you now live in a world where there's no titans (kinda)!

you were completely alone when you were going through the beginning symptoms of pregnancy, unaware of why you kept vomiting so often or why you had to go to the bathroom even more than before or why you were so fatigued after barely doing anything. when you went to the doctor, that’s when you finally found out that you were already 2 months pregnant. getting out of the office, you kinda snapped out of the housewife-sona you’ve developed in order to cope and become extremely aware of what was happening to you. you cried a lot, absolutely terrified that this was actually happening to you. you barely had your mom most of your life so you didn't know what you were going to do next, all you sorta knew what to do was to make sure that both you and the baby were going to be healthy for the rest of pregnancy.

reiner didn't know about it since he had to leave to go fight some more after a two month absence of him "taking care" of you and your injuries. he sorta did know that he had already gotten you pregnant from all those nights and afternoons fucking on every single surface of the home nonstop, but you never know. so when he came back about a month-ish later, his jaw dropped to the floor when you turned around with a slight bump in your stomach (around this time, you’re like maybe 3-4.5 months pregnant now).

he’s absolutely over the moon but you start crying in front of him, admitting that you’re so scared of the unknown future and what if he actually leaves for good (the abandonment issues are at an all time high bc of hormones and bc he did tell you that he’s going to eventually die in a couple of years 💀). reiner merely hushes you and tells you that you'll be a great mom and he'll be there for you for as long as he lives. it doesn't really make you feel better but the reassuring look in his eyes makes you feel some sort of dull comfort, it's better than nothing ig lol

reiner asks to be sent less often to the wars just so he won't miss the birth of his child or let you get injured again since you're alone most of the time. they grant this for him but they did dock his pay bc of it and it's not that bad of a cut, just more budgeting is going to be more involved in y'alls lives.

yea this is pretty mid snippet-wise sorry 😭

the epilogue i'm going to write covers even more in-depth with their relationship so stayed tuned for that eventually! i might post it on the year anniversary of cacoëthes pt 1 but we'll see lol