#doing a tag for these now cause uhhhhh I want to

[loud-whistling-yes]

so as literally everyone following me in the past 24 hours knows, im fucking obsessed with her. take her shes everything i have

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Ya know, I said it offhandedly in the tags of the last post but I'm wondering what a Chica themed cookbook would include now. Pizza is the obvious one, same with cake and cupcakes. She has some canon stuff with something about chowder, Chica chug, Chica bites, uhhhh the uhhh skinny taco from Help Wanted 2, lemon Chicabars, the blendee, and whatever else she normally has I dunno. Her Fizzy Faz flavour is pink lemonade so there's that too...

She's then got the whole mazercise thing, so fruit smoothies and just general stuff with fruit is probably gonna work. Obviously she's a chicken, so there's that too.

Honestly, I can see her having a cake section where she tells the recipes to her friend's favourite cakes. So the obvious would be carrot cake for Bonnie then I dunno a lemon lime cheesecake for Monty or something?

I think the thing about a Chica cookbook is that it's just so easy to visualise and work with that it would be kind of hard to get it wrong, and yet, this isn't a real thing that exists for some reason??

[wolfmoonmusic]

Could you do a young!James Potter where reader tries to ask him to be their valentines but he keeps talking over them and talking about Lilly. So reader gets fed up and asks someone else, and James gets jealous or smth?

Hypocrisy

Summary: James doesn’t seem to want anyone other than Lily. So after one point, you decide to stop trying 

Requested by anon

w/c: 4,500+

Pairing : James Potter x reader, Surprise marauder x reader, marauders x platonic!reader

A/N: I’M SO EXCITED THIS IS MY FIRST EVER REQUEST AHHHHH. Thank you so much anon. Ily

Reader is an animagus here. I made her a wolf animagus (since they do exist, but I kept her marauder name as Aspen (or Penny) so really you imagine any animal)

--------------------------------- <3

There was nothing you and James Potter hadn’t done together. Both of your parents were close and that meant that you usually spent time with each other. More often than not, you’d be at his house. At this point you knew his house better than you did yours.

So were you best friends? Hell yeah.

But what came with being best friends since you were in diapers?

By the 3rd year at Hogwarts, you’d fallen head over heels for the boy.

Now 3 years later, though his obsession for Lily had grown, it changed absolutely nothing. You were in love with James Fleamont Potter.

The rest of the marauders knew. But somehow, James was absolutely oblivious.

But this year would be different. You would confess. You promised yourself. 

But now it’s February and you’d done nothing.

“Are you even going to ask him out n/n?” Sirius asked as you both ran to your class. As usual you were too busy pranking the Slytherins to realize that the next class had started.

“Of course I am Black! Patience is a virtue.” You both came to a halting stop in front of your DADA class, straightening out your robes. 

“If he doesn’t accept, you know who to contact love,” Sirius said, fixing his hair. You shot him a look. “Way to be a supportive friend, Padfoot.”

He shrugged before stepping into the class. 

“Mr. Black! Ms. L/N! Get to your seats,” your professor ordered. He was too accustomed to this by now. You ducked your head taking your seat behind James and next to Remus.

“What was it this time?” Remus whispered, eyes narrowed. Sirius turned back, a huge grin on his face. “Something special for Snivellus,” he sneered, earning a slap on the head from you. “Oh shut up! We didn’t bother Snape. We did however ensure Malfoy wakes up with pink hair tomorrow.” You informed Remus.

This time James turned around, “Bloody brilliant Aspen!” You felt your cheeks heat up before Sirius interjected. “Hey! It was my idea Prongs.”

“WILL THE FOUR OF YOU STAY SILENT FOR ONE CLASS?” your professor yelled, causing the four of you to shut up, not before you and Sirius let out snorts of laughter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By that evening, everyone was talking about the plan the 7th Years had hatched. 

Everyone who had a date, and only those who had a date to Valentine’s were being asked to ditch class on the 14th to go to Hogsmeade. The prefects made sure that everyone knew that if anyone didn’t have a date and still tagged along, they’d be reported.

“This is your chance, you know?” Remus whispered once the news had reached the Gryffindor common room. You nodded, gulping thickly as the nervousness took over.

“You know who I’m going to ask?” James asked, eyes lighting up. “Lemme guess Prongs, uhhhhh, i dont know? Lily maybe? As in the Lily you’ve been asking since first year?” Sirius asked, feigning confusion. He was met with a flying cushion to his face as he fell back laughing.

You knew he was right. James was going to ask Lily. And it didn’t help that you’d noticed the way Lily had started paying more attention to him. Remus put his arm around you and Sirius caught your eyes as he got back up. Something flashed in his, but for the first time since you’d met him, you couldn’t comprehend it.

“Who are you gonna ask Pads?” James asked, his homework long forgotten as he stretched out his arms.

Sirius seemed to have been caught-off guard which surprised you. It was normal for him to have a plan weeks before Valentine’s day. Remus, you and Peter would just tag along as James pestered Lily the entire day and Sirius hung out with his date. Except that one time in 4th year when a cute Hufflepuff had asked you out. Though it didn’t last long, even he could see the way you looked at James.

“I-I’m not gonna ask anyone,” he said, glancing over at you. Why did he look at you? Did he think you were going to judge him?

“Well,” Remus said leaning forward, “I’m going to ask a Ravenclaw out. The one that sits next to me in Charms.” The four of you gawked at Remus. “What?!” you asked. He shrugged, “She’s cute, and smart, and I think she likes me.” You leaned back, “Well shit, even Remus has a date now,” you said, throwing your hands up. He swatted your arm, “What’s that s’posed to mean?” You shook your head laughing.

“Well uh- I’m gonna ask out a Hufflepuff,” Peter said, rubbing his hands together. Your jaw dropped. “That makes it official. Penny, you and I are gonna be left behind to study,” Sirius gagged. “Does that mean you think I have a chance, Pads?” James asked, smirking.

Sirius shrugged, “Honestly? I’d say this year? You do,” Nodding towards where Lily was sitting. You whipped your head around just in time to see her hair flying as she turned away.

She’d been looking at James. 

You covered your face with your hands, leaning into Remus’s side as he gave your shoulder a squeeze.

When you peeked through your fingers, you saw Sirius giving you an apologetic look, and James just staring at Lily, with a start-struck look on his face. You sighed, getting up and grabbing your books. “I’m gonna call it a night,” you mumbled. “You alright love?” Remus asked, concern etched across his face. You gave him a weak smile. “Yeah Remmy, just tired,” you said. You didn’t dare to look back as you wished them all good night. 

You hadn’t lied. You were tired. Just not the exhausted kind of tired.

Tired of watching him fall more in love with her.

You lay in your bed, staring at the ceiling. Maybe. Just maybe if you got to him before he asked her out. Maybe.

You clenched your fist, shutting your eyes tight as your roommates walked in, giggling. Someone shushed them. But their whispers were still loud. 

“So you’re gonna accept?” 

“Maybe, we’ll see.” You felt your eyes watering.

“Dorcas, you owe me a butterbeer.”

“You bet on this?!”

You shut your eyes tighter, the tears rolling down your cheek. Drowning the girls in your room out, you decided you had to get to him first.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Charms was the first class of the day. Also the only one that only you and James had. Sirius, Remus and Peter had a free period, and Lily wasn’t there either.

It was the one time you really got James to yourself.

“You alright n/n? You went to bed early yesterday, and you were quiet at breakfast,” James asked, placing his hand over yours, brows furrowed together in concern.

You nodded, smiling. “Like I said, I was just a bit tired is all,” you replied.

He nodded, taking his hand off, as he went back to playing with his quill.

Goddammit.

You started bouncing your leg up and down, nerves completely taking over you. Would this even work? Would he say yes? Or would it break your friendship forever? You wouldn’t know unless you asked.

You sighed. It was now or never. You cleared your throat before slightly turning to him. “Jamie”

He hummed, scribbling something on a piece of paper.

“About the hogsmeade trip on the 14th-”

“How’s this?” He asked, shoving the piece of paper he’d previously been writing on, into your hands. 

You held it in complete shock, eyes wide as it scanned the paper.

It was a poem.

-----------------------------------

Your eyes have got me mesmerized

Your smile keeps me on a high

I know you think I'm arrogant,

Full of myself, a bit too content

But believe me when I say

Your responses make my day

I’m hoping that, I can gather the guts

To ask you out, before you make me go nuts

So today is the day,

I’d like to know if you’d be my date?

On Valentine’s Day?

----------------------------------

It wasn’t perfect. But it was beautiful. Your heart was beating loud against your rib cage. 

Was it meant for you? 

Your hands were shaking, “I-”

“It’s for Lily, though I think that’s a bit obvious by now.” he laughed nervously.

You froze. Your heart dropped, and suddenly breathing became difficult. You couldn’t think. Couldn’t speak. 

How foolish of you.

“So? How is it?” James asked, trying to duck and meet your eyes. 

You blinked away the gathering tears, forcing a smile. 

You looked up at him, straight into his beautiful hazel eyes. “It’s amazing James. If I were her, I would be absolutely flattered.” You said, your voice shaking slightly.

You willed yourself to hold it together, just until next period. You were free then, and so were Sirius and Remus.

James beamed. “Thanks Y/N.” He took the paper from your hands again, grinning all the while.

You turned back to the front of the class. You couldn’t focus, so instead you closed your eyes, trying to ignore the sting in your chest. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The moment you filled your friends in, Remus engulfed you in a hug. You tried not to burst into tears, as he held you tight, rubbing his hand up and down your back, as you clutched onto his sweater. After a few moments he pulled away, reaching into his pocket to grab a few chocolates and handed them to you. You mumbled a thanks before plopping down next to Sirius, who immediately wrapped his arm around your shoulder, and you leaned into him. You’d hugged him before, but for some reason, this felt a little different. You shrugged it off, thinking it had to do with what you’d just felt.

“You still have a few days left n/n,” Remus said, cleaning up his desk, knowing far too well that none of you were going to study now. “He won’t say yes Moony,” you mumbled, wiping away a stray tear.

“Well, you gotta talk over him y’know,” Sirius said. His voice was thick with emotion. Which? You couldn’t tell. Nor did your mind register that fact. Remus watched Sirius carefully, as you opened yet another chocolate to gulp down.

“Won’t listen,” you said, licking the chocolate off of your fingers.

“You gotta make him n/n. Make him see what he’s missing. That someone’s there that loves him. That he’s unnecessarily running behind someone who isn’t giving him a second thought.” Sirius gulped. “Wise words Pads,” Remus said, smiling softly.

You hummed. Oblivious to the conversation both the boys were having with their eyes.

“Alright, I’ll try just twice more,” you declared, sitting up straight, looking at both the boys. Remus gave you an encouraging smile, but Sirius wouldn’t even look at you. Again, filled with emotions of your own, you didn’t think much of it.

You flipped open your books, and started scribbling. You had the entire day left to try. The last day to confirm was the day after, so you had time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Gryffindor common room was often quiet in the afternoon, and it was usually the perfect place for you to get away from the craziness of it all. The silence was comforting more often than not, but today it only allowed your thoughts to grow. You shook it off, trying to enjoy the peace while you could. 

The boys could be a handful sometimes.

However, you were surprised when Sirius stepped through the painting. “Hey,” he said softly, dropping his bag onto the couch before sitting in front of you. “Hey?” You responded, confused. He shrugged, before taking out his books and a quill and started writing. 

You smiled softly. Him being here surrounded you in a weird sort of comfort. You took advantage of it, trying to focus on your homework.

That was until he came barging into the room.

“Evans just rejected a Ravenclaw! I’d say I’ve got a good chance,” he cheered before plopping down on the couch, arms outstretched. You and Sirius looked at eachother. Yet again, that look was back. The one you couldn’t read.

But just like that it was gone again, a smirk on his lips as he pointed to James with his thumb. 

Your eyes widened. 

But he was right and you knew it.

“James, I was thinking, for Valentine’s-”

“I should get Lily flowers! I’d love getting a card or flowers, though I think she would prefer roses,” James smiled. “Bloody genius n/n,” he grabbed his bag and just like that he was running out again.

You blinked a few times.

“Did he just- cut me off? A-Again?” You asked, your voice filled with hurt.

Sirius was next to you within seconds. “Well you know what to do now. You get him a card. He can’t cut you off then right?”

You looked at him, the words registering in your mind as you nodded slowly. “Yeah, yeah that’s-” you looked at your books. “You know what? Fuck this,” you shoved all your books into your bag, “I’m gonna get James a card,” you said standing. 

“N-now?” Sirius asked, surprised.

You nodded, quickly bending down to kiss his cheek. “Bloody brilliant Siri.” And then you ran out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“James!” you called out running up behind him in the halls, one hand behind your back.

He spun around smiling, wrapping his hand around your shoulders once you reached him.

“Sorry, I’ve been so caught up trying to figure out what to get Evans that we haven’t really hung out,” he said.

You ignored the pang in your chest.

Third time’s the charm.

“Uh- about that James,” you handed him the card, revealing it from behind your back.

He stared at the beautiful handwriting.

You’d just drawn a bunch of hearts and written:

Will you be my Valentine?

In perfect cursive too, which was saying something, because you didn’t know cursive. At all.

He stared at it for a few seconds, your heart beat getting so loud and fast that you were sure he could hear it by now.

But when a grin broke out on his face, you calmed down.

Sirius was a gen-

“You’re the best, best friend ever Y/N!”

What?

“I-”

“This is just what she would like! I owe you a big one!” he said, engulfing you in a hug. Though his body was warm, the hug felt as cold as ice. It felt like someone had ripped your heart open.

Your eyes watered. “No James I-”

“It’s perfect n/n. Thank you,” he said pulling away, eyes scanning the card again. 

You felt sick, the tears spilling over. 

“I’m gonna give it to her ok? See you later,” he said, running off.

He hadn’t even looked at you.

A sob racked your body, your legs giving in. How was he so goddamn oblivious?

But you never hit the ground.

Strong arms wrapped around you, the smell of honey and cinnamon enveloping you. They lowered you gently to the ground. “I got you love,” he whispered. 

Sirius.

You curled into him, sobbing continuously and uncontrollably. You could hear people whispering all around you, but you couldn’t care less. “What is this ruckus?” came a strong feminine voice. “Goodness,” you heard her whisper. You didn’t open your eyes, and yet the tears never stopped flowing. Sirius’s sweater was wet now, and above all else, guilt creeped up on you. Why did you always allow him to pick up the pieces? Plus he liked this sweater a lot and now you were ruining it. You clenched your eyes tighter, trying to let the cinnamon scent calm you down. 

“Everyone scram! Go on, get back to your classes!” she yelled.

You fisted Sirius’s sweater, as he ran a hand through your hair.  “Mr.Black, take her back to the Gryffindor common room, I believe she requires yours and Mr.Lupin’s attention. You three are excused from classes today,” She said softly.

God bless you Professor McGonagall. 

“Thank you Professor,” Sirius responded. He brushed the stray hair from your face. “Love, let’s get you out of here yeah?”

You couldn’t open your mouth, not trusting your voice, so you just nodded, finally opening your eyes. He helped you up, nodding once to your professor as you both walked back to the common room.

His hand never left your shoulders.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were curled up on your bed, staring at your wall blankly, when Sirius came back with Remus. Both the boys’ pockets were full of chocolates, and Sirius was carrying his favorite sweater. The one which was also your favorite sweater. You sat up, taking it from him and slipping it on. James called it your “breakdown” sweater.

The James that would never be yours. 

Your eyes overflowed with tears again, and you tugged your knees closer to you.

Remus quietly climbed onto your bed, wrapping his arms around your shaking frame, and Sirius sat at the edge of your bed, watching with concern. You didn’t say anything. Not when Remus excused himself to go keep James busy.

Not when Sirius took Remus’s place, pulling you into him. Not when he took out your favorite novel and started reading.

Not after you started drifting off, when Sirius placed a soft kiss on your forehead, whispering good night and slipping away. Not when everything in you told you to reach out and ask him to stay.

Not when you realized you still had his sweater on, and he hadn’t even asked for it back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were awoken by the smell of butter on toast. And chocolate.

“Remus it’s too early,” you mumbled, burying your face in the pillow.

“Breakfast’s done already. Do you know what kind of excuses Sirius and I had to come up with?” Remus chided, shaking your shoulder gently.

You propped yourself up on your elbows, turning to face him. “I’m sure he didn’t even ask,” you grumbled, pushing the hair out of your face. Remus frowned at that. “Of course he did. Sure he might be a prick for not seeing the obvious but you’re still his best friend. He still cares,” he reached into his pocket, taking out a piece of paper.

“He wanted me to give it to you, since he’s got class,” he held it out to you. You stared at it for a few seconds before slowly taking it from Remus’s hands and sitting up straight. 

-------------------------

Hey, hope you’re doing alright? The boys told me you’re down with a bad cold. Sorry I can’t come now, you know how it is with charms yeah? I promise I’ll come meet you as soon as I can.

-------------------------

You huffed, crumpling up the paper. The audacity! Remus shook his head, handing you the tray of food next.

“You’re such a hypocrite,” he mumbled. But you heard him.

“Me?” you asked, shocked. Remus nodded.

“How?”

He shook his head again, laughing slightly. “You’re mad at James for missing the oblivious when you’re doing the same goddamn thing!” 

You blinked a few times, before his words settled in and your eyes grew wide. “You like me?”

Remus was taken aback, before he burst out laughing. “No you dummy, I’m talking about Sirius!”

“Ohhhhhhh.” You took a bite of the toast, chewing quietly. Sirius liked you? You felt your chest get heavy, an unfamiliar sensation flooding through you.

Guilt and…hurt? No, it’s like what you felt when you first started liking James.

“I know you love James, but can I offer a solution?” Remus asked you, one eyebrow raised. You nodded slowly unsure of where he was going with this.

“If there is just a tiny place for Sirius in your heart, give him a chance. If not, don't. I don't want to be there to pick up the parts for that mess,” he told you, popping a chocolate into his mouth. “However,” he held up a finger, “If any part of you, over the past year has felt anything romantic for Sirius. Please do ask him out. It’s been difficult taking care of both of you. Peter will drive himself completely, completely mad  if Sirius has even one more breakdown.”

“Peter knows?” you asked.

Remus laughed, “Why do you think I called you a hypocrite? It’s kind of obvious.”

Now that you thought about it, it made sense. 

All the time he spent with you. The glances from across the room.

And goddammit, the look you couldn’t decipher. 

You groaned, “Remmy what’ve I done??”

He shrugged. “Tomorrow’s the deadline. You still have time. While I have a date to fix,” he said with a smirk. You smiled, “Good luck!” 

And then you were left alone. You looked at the half eaten toast, and then to your hand, where Sirius’s long sweater was bunched up near the wrist. You sighed. “Oh Siri, you golden-hearted boy.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After spending nearly the entire day in your room thinking, you made your way to find Sirius, knowing exactly where he was going to be.

“Sirius Orion Black!” you called out as you barged into his dorm room.

His head whipped around, eyes wide in shock. “It was Remus’s idea!” he yelled.

Your eyebrows knitted together in confusion. “Huh?”

“You’re gonna ask why James thinks you’re sick right? It was Remus’s idea, I just wanted to punch him,” He said, raising his hands up in defense.

“What? No, that’s not why I’m here,” you replied, climbing up onto his bed, sitting in front of him.

“It’s not?”

You shook your head. He had papers and books sprawled out around him. You realized he was catching up on school work, considering he’d missed all the evening classes yesterday. You felt bad, he had sat there comforting you, as you cried over another boy, while he was in love with you. 

“I’m thinking you and I should ditch all the classes on the 14th,” You said, playing with the sleeve of your - his sweater. You slipped it off, handing it back to him, ignoring that the feeling of slight comfort which had helped you fall asleep last night was now gone.

He shook his head, “Looks good on you,” he told you, pushing your hand away. You gladly put it back on, the cinnamon smell wrapping around you again. Maybe you weren’t being oblivious to just Sirius’s feelings.

“Anyways, what do you mean?” he asked, running a hand through his hair.

“I mean we should go to Hogsmeade,” you shrugged. You didn’t know how to say it.

“We can’t? We don’t have dates,” he said, narrowing his eyes at you. 

Were his eyes always so mesmerizing?

“Yeah I know.” You swallowed, your throat going dry. The feeling in your chest doubled, it was like drowning, and taking a fresh breath of air, at the same time.

He cocked his head to the side. That motion almost always had you laughing, he looked like a child! “You’re not making any sense n/n” he said, brows furrowed together.

You played with his sweater, looking down at your hands. “I-I’m saying we should go to- you know- Hogsmeade. The tw- The two of us. Together.” You looked back up at him, watching his expressions change.

Confusion to realization, then after a solid minute, “Li-Like a date? Are you asking me to be your date on Valentine’s?” he asked. His eyes were shining now, happiness ghosting his features.

You nodded, and he grinned. The biggest, goofiest grin you’d ever seen. 

“Yes, I am. And hopefully be my boyfriend too. And I don’t want you to think that you’re a second choice or something, it’s just, I’ve been so blind, to your feelings, a-and mine and I-”

You were cut off, Sirius leaning over all his books, hands cupping your cheeks, as his lips landed on yours.

You froze for a second, before you responded, kissing back with as much passion and force. 

When he pulled away, he was still grinning. “I don’t care. I get to call you mine now yeah? And I know you well enough to know that it’s not just to get James back or something.”

You smiled, nodding. He took your hands in his, your heart racing. Who knew even he could make you feel like this? Actually, no. With James it’d been pain, mixed with love. But here it was joy, a pure bliss that took you over from head to toe. “I’m going to go fill out that form right now, and make this official,” he pulled you close, pecking your lips once, before running out of the room. You laughed, your cheeks a bright red.

Who would have thought?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Feb 14th - Valentine’s Day

For the past week James couldn’t decide on an emotion. He was happy that Lily had finally decided to give him a chance. However, every time he saw you and Sirius, a weird feeling crept up into his chest.

He’d felt it before with Lily.

Jealousy.

And it made no sense, because why was he jealous? He should be happy for you.

But he knew why.

You would officially never be his. 

Sure, he was pining over Lily. He was in love with her. But he couldn’t deny the feelings he had for you, that he’d harbored all these years.

So as he watched you and Sirius dancing around and giggling, he couldn’t help but feel like he’d lost something.

And while finally being able to call Lily his made him feel amazing, the thought that you were no longer his, felt like a stab in the heart.

“It was always him wasn’t it?” He mumbled to himself as Lily went to speak with Marlene and Dorcas. 

“No mate, it wasn’t,” he heard Remus laugh next to him.

“Dammit the hypocrisy is real!” he said, shaking his head.

“What are you talking about?” James asked, still watching you as Sirius picked you up, spinning you around.

“It was always you. Poor Sirius bared the full force of it all, just to make her happy. You ran behind Lily for 6 years, Y/N ran behind you for 3 and Sirius ran behind her for 2. You know she used to say the same thing about you? That it was always going to be Lily?” Remus asked, turning to James.

James felt like he’d been slapped. “What?”

Remus shook his head again, “Oh Merlin, I can’t take this anymore.” And promptly walked off.  

James stood there, feeling terrible, as the events of the past two weeks caught up with him. He’d been so invested in Lily, he hadn’t even realized that you were trying to ask him out. 

So as he stood there, his own date not far from him, James wished he’d paid a little more attention to you. And though deep in his heart, he knew that you and Sirius and him and Lily, was the pairing that was meant to be, he couldn’t help but wonder what would’ve happened, had he not been so invested in someone who took forever to be his, when you were right there all along.

[thedreadvampy]

look I do not want to have this argument in the notes of a 5k+ post bc I will get crucified and so will the person who I'm arguing with

but see I made this post about the use of language and said I thought that words like rape or abuse or suicide are extremely necessary and that they can be uncomfortable words but that's because they're uncomfortable things?

someone in the replies said, quote, "that doesn't excuse y'all reblogging this without trigger warnings"

and like, far be it from me, a guy who spent a non-zero amount of time having panic attacks if I saw Chewbacca merch and once had a day-long dissociative episode because I saw someone carrying a guitar, to say what acceptable triggers are or how people should respond to them

but in this instance. I'm pretty clear that yeah actually it does excuse reblogging it without trigger warnings

because in this post I didn't at any point actually talk about rape, abuse or suicide, I talked about the words "rape", "abuse" and "suicide".

in fact in the original post I don't think I want into any more detail than I would in the tags "tw rape" "tw abuse" or "tw suicide"

which gets under my skin, right, because while there's no problem with choosing to trigger tag that post of you think it's helpful, demanding that this is such an Obviously Triggering post there's a moral obligation to tag it (because it contains the Bad Words) is uhhhhh kind of exactly what I'm talking about?

Language here is mistaken for the thing. Saying the word "rape" is construed as unambiguously harmful in a way that talking about rape without naming it isn't.

I have literally heard people begin to describe a rape, a domestic violence case, a murder, a suicide, in those terms - then stop themselves, change their language, and carry on describing these really specific, upsetting experiences with the clear understanding that they've removed the Problematic Part (now that they're saying "special cuddle" and "adult time" instead of "rape").

Part of what I'm reacting against in that post is exactly that - the idea behind the cutesy euphemisms and the censorship of important words like "death" and "rape" (and frankly "lesbian". and "sex" and "kink" and "porn"), which is this tendency to displace the discomfort caused by the word onto the word itself.

Obviously everyone's experience of trauma is different. But as a survivor I'm not triggered or disturbed by the word "rape", I'm triggered and disturbed by the act of rape, and potentially by conversations which describe or explore or evoke that act or experience.

And frankly I find it hard to believe that a significant plurality, let alone a majority, of people with PTSD connected to rape or abuse are so sensitive to the Word Itself that they must be protected from even hearing it named.

I am particularly clear on this with "rape" and "abuse" because, as I said in the post described, those are unambiguously words coined to create purposeful discomfort, because they're words coined to recognise the harm in very common and normalised actions.

If you've experienced rape, abuse, or whatever, and the words alone for those things are deeply distressing, I'm very sorry for you. That must be awful and I wish you well.

But a lot of the time I think when people start linguistically self-censoring (not "you can't talk about this topic without a trigger warning" but "you can't use this descriptive word without a trigger warning") they're not actually reacting to a debilitating trauma response, but to the fact that hearing the word inspires discomfort, because it puts an appropriate amount of weight on the topic.

you have to trigger tag for "suicide" but not for "unalive yourself" "sewerslide" or "kys"

you have to trigger tag for "death" but not for "no longer with us" "left the world" "unalive"

you have to trigger tag for "rape" but let's be honest not for a description of having sex with someone against their will, as long as you don't call it rape.

(btw people will blame this on the Algorithm but it goes back way further, we were having this Acceptable Words Discourse on Tumblr in 2012, you know? it's definitely accelerated by algorithmic control but this list of Bad Words as a shibboleth for Caring About People is old old bullshit)

(also the idea of trigger tagging on the basis of words rather than meaning strikes me as uhhhh suboptimal? especially when it comes to words created to talk about our experiences? like maybe there's a significant textural difference between a post which uses the word "rape" in a list of words that exist, a post saying "if this happened to you it may have been rape," an exploration of survivor feminism and the political positioning of rape, a list of rape prevention and recovery resources, and a graphic rape fantasy. like any of those might be things I don't wanna see, but they're very different in relation to each other and to my trauma, you know? and not wanting to see explicit discussion of rape doesn't necessarily mean not wanting to Ever Hear The Word. but that's another conversation.)

anyway this is all academic frankly because the thing you're objecting to is that the words are in the post. bc again, trigger tags on this post entail Exactly The Same Amount Of Exploration Of These Topic as the post itself

[froggyphycosis]

Sleepless nights and something handcrafted

Fic based on a headcannon by @turtleblogatlast which is here (might contain spoilers so I'll link it at the end aswell if you want to read it after)

Summary

Pretty much all of Leo's comics are destroyed from the Kraang and Shredder so he has to read them all digitally. Mikey finds out and does somthing about it.

5899 words

Uhhhhh tw's and cw's real qiuck

Swearing

panic attacks

Nightmares

Implied/refferences to death (in a dream though nothing serious or majorly descriptive)

And characters being in pain

Eughhhh that sounds bad but I swear this fic is hurt/COMFORT so

(if there's anything in forgetting to tag let me know please!!)

______________________________

It's quiet, and calm.

Its reached that rare lull in the lair where everyone is off to do there own thing peacfully without another brother to cause chaos or niose along with them.

And suddenly, (and not at all surprisingly) Mikey finds himself bored, lying in his hammock and to tired to do anything and lonely without the immediate proximity to one of his older brothers.

It's an achievement if anything, it's the first time since the invasion that there hasn't been anything to do, no medical checkups to take care of, no panic attacks to be had... Just peace.

No one is actively dying, the chores are done, hes already cooked dinner (dad had even joined them aswell! He'd been doing that more often since the invasion, it warmed Mikey up a little on the inside he liked it when dad ate dinner with them and secretly hopes he keeps doing it).

So what does Mikey do then? he already knows he's gonna seek out one of his brothers, but who....

Well Donnie is busy in his lab right now using really loud machinery, and as much as Mikey *loves* sitting and drawing in the lab with him, it would be to loud to concentrate on anything.

He could go and hangout with Raph.... but he's training, trying incredibly hard to acclimate to the lack of sight in his right eye, and Mikey doesn't want to interrupt that.

So that means.... he can hang out with Leo!

Great! The portal duo for the win! He thinks triumphantly. Mikey can't think of anything that Leo could be doing right now. He knows that Leo isn't out with Usagi, since he went out with him before dinner, and he probably wouldn't have gone to April's without texting the group chat first...

So he's definitely free!

Mikey hops up from his hammock with more excitement than is probably necessary, and skips his way to Leo's room.

"LEO!" he shouts, slamming the door open with his foot, and happily watching as Leo jumps out of his shell.

"FU-JESUS Mike what in the all living HELL do you want??"

"Company!"

"The fuck do you mean company??"

"I'm like, reaaaaaaaaal bored right now, so I need a sibling to fill that void! And I'm obviously picking you!" he doesn't move from where he's standing, because if Leo is actually doing something he doesn't want to be interrupted from, Mikey will leave.

But just as he thought, (and maybe kind of planned) Leo rolls his eyes affectionately, switches his tablet to one hand and holds out his arm, Mikey doesn't need anymore encouragement than that, he dives into the bed and cuddles himself right up into Leos side.

"Sooooooo what'cha doin?"

"Reading comics," he snorts.

Mikey pauses, looking around the bed,"What where? thought you were doing somthing with your tablet?"

"Yeah I was I'm reading them on digital." Leo lifts up the screen, and holds it out in front of him, Mikey can see the grainy image of one of Leo's favourite JJ comics. "they all got destroyed remember? And I couldn't buy them so I just read them on here."

Mikey's stomach drops.

Oh crap, he had completely forgotten most of Leos comics were *destroyed*. He glances over at the corner of the room, where sure enough, a heap of his old comics were laying in a pile, destroyed beyond repair.

"Oh Leo.... I am so sorry, I had completely forgotten about your comics that must be awful," Mikey sinks a little feeling bad for even having come into the room now "sorry for bringing it up."

"W-what Mike's it's fine it doesn't even matter! I'm not upset really!" Leo looks midly shocked and a little guilty, which is stupid because Mikey brought it up.

He chucks the tablet to the side nonchalantly, rolling his eyes "Its fine! I don't even really read comics that much anymore ya know??" he smiles nervously.

Yeah, because you don't have any, is what Mikey wants to say, but he very patiently keeps his mouth shut.

Mikey knows he's lying, he can see it, he's far more perceptive than his brothers are. He can see the way Leo's eyes get a little bit shinier,the way his brow creases and he avoids Mikey's eye contact like it's the plague.

And the box turtle's heart sinks.

It's not okay, *it's not*, all of his old comics that are still intact enough to keep, but not enough to read, are piled up in the corner, a constant reminder of lost childhood.

It makes *Mikey* want to cry looking at it, he can't imagine what it must feel like for Leo to look at it every night.

Mikey doesn't push Leo on the subject, they end up going to play animal crossing with Dee instead but it doesn't leave Mikey's head for an instant, bugging him like and itch at the back of his skill that he can't itch.

He's going to find a way to fix this, even if he has to walk across a mile of broken glass to do so.

________________________________

Mikey doesn't sleep that night, even if his body is exhausted, (even months later his body still feels drained from opening that portal).

He probably shouldn't be awake, they did all agree on set sleeping times, or at least lying-down-and-trying-to sleep-times the name was a work in progress.

And he might be a little hypocritical for not following that since it was his idea-But! In his defense, he was on an important mission! So it was like totally 100% fine.

He was trying to find copies of jupiter Jim comics for Leo, because he was obviously sad about it, even though he wouldn't admit it. And Mikey was *officially*, the worst little brother in the entire whole wide universe, if he'd didn't *try* and do somthing about it.

So that's what he was doing obviously.

Leo was the bravest person he knew. He had been through hell and back for his family, and even the world, for people he didn't know.

He was an incredible big brother, and leader, and Mikey decided this was his way to give back just a fraction of that kindness in return.

Then again.... the universe seemed pretty against him right now, blessing him with the lack of any physical copies, of any kind of jj comics, on the entire internet.

Mikey spent the whole night, scouring the internet, and using every website he could think of to find them, but alas, not a trace. Dammit, why couldn't dad have found really well known dvds and comics thrown away in the sewers for Leo's and Donnie's birthday? This situation would have been so much easier.

Maybe like Harry Potter, or something, he wonders how much different their life would be if that ever happened, maybe Dee would've believed in magic sooner. (he makes himself snort with that one).

It takes him 5 hours before he finally stops and decides to throw in the towel, he's going to have to quit, there isn't anything anywhere. Which just sucks, because Mikey hates losing, and hates giving up on anything even more, but he closes the laptop down anyway with a sigh, and shuffles down into a more comfortable position.

He glances at the clock across the room, and eughh boyyy.... Well it's 7 o'clock, so he's going to have to get up in 10 minutes to make breakfast.

He stayed awake all night.

Whoops.

Stupid vintage comics he thinks darkly.

He'll have to go up topside to try and find some in a comic book shop tommorow he thinks as he finally let's his exhaustion give in and closes his eyes.

_____________________________

"UGHHHHHHHH," Mikey groaned loudly, dropping the comics in his now 5 fingered hands. His loud outburst garnering several odd looks from the staff and other shoppers in the store.

"April they have to be somwhere right??"

Casey and April both glanced at eachother, and then over at him sympathetically.

"Look Mikey..." April starts, before CJ pipes up next to her, having resumed flicking through the comics.

"Mikey, we have been to almost every comic shop in new York, big and small i mean this as politghtly as possible, I don't think we can get Leo's comics back." he looks at Mikey softly, "I'm sure he would appreciate the effort though."

He couldn't help but diflate at that, he's failed *again*, he's failed Leo....

April walked around the box, and pulled him into a hug that he happily buried himself into, and Casey, in a rare show of public affection, joins aswell.

But when he finally pulls apart and swipes an orange sleeve over his eyes, he suddenly gets a plan so cool, so ultimately awsome and incredibly smart that even *Leo* would be jealous.

"Okay, guys, I think i know what i need to do," he looked up at April and gave her the most mischievous grin he could offer "I think we're gonna need to take a trip to the art store."

"ohhohohohono what does that look mean?? What are you up to?" she squinted at him hands planted on hips

"hush now april," Casey places a hand on her shoulder, and the other on his heart "that look can only mean great things," he grinned "so Mikes where we heading?"

______________________________

Leo hopped across the platform over to Mike's train cart, his leg was acting up today much to his own dismay, not so bad to tell anyone though.... Just bad enough that walking was a little inconvenient, he probably didn't need any meds to be honest, he should be fine.

He gets to the door of the train cart and slams it to the side as hard as he can, (payback for the other day) it bangs when it hits the frame.

"Ohhhhhh Miguelllll!!!"

He gets sight of Mikey staring at his tablet, (it's almost a mirror of April without her glasses Leo thinks with a smile) before he slams his sketchbook closed, and shoves everything within arms reach off his desk, Leo has already been there a few seconds watching this unfold.

Okayyyy....That was....Odd...

"ohhhhhh hey Leoooo...," Mikey smiled nervously, hands tapping against his plastron. It's a stim he's had since was a tot, "so ummmm what are you doing in my room?"

"nothinnnnng.... So what were you drawing?" he glanced down at the sketchbook that had been shoved on the floor, still open, he could only make out the faint sketches of boxes and nothing else, before Mikey slammed it shut and held it to his chest.

"N-nothing," his little brothers face doesn't look caught anymore, it looks worried now, and that face twists somthing in Leo's stomach.

"wait, shit, Mikey have your hands been acting up again??" oh fuck oh no "Mikes we talked about this, if they start hurting you have to tell somone even if you don't think it feels that bad."

He feels a switch go off on his brain the second he thinks Mikey is hurt and everything else goes out the back window.

His little brother has a tendency to fix things, not in the way that Donnie does, with his intellect and his smarts, with nuts and bolts and tech and limitless knowledge.

Mikey fixes sadness, and hurt, he comforts and loves with a single minded focus that leaves anyone in its wake absolutely astonished at how plentiful and sincere it is.

No matter who it is, where it is, or when it is, if it's broken he'll fix it.

But he will *always* leave himself behind.

Its not intentional, he doesn't mean to, he'd take care of himself if he realized. But once Mikey has his mind made up? Its done. He'll get it done no matter what, leaving him to forget about himself.

He's lucky enough to have a family that recognises it, and help before it gets to bad.

"What no my hands are fine Leo seriously!"

"yeah Mikey, maybe so, but I'm still gonna take a look now put 'em out ."

Mikey doesn't retaliate, just takes his wraps off exasperatedly and lays his hands out for Leo to see.

He doesn't react when Leo softly presses down on the scars, and bends his finger and elbow joints gently so they probably weren't hurting.... And the shakes are small and unnoticeable unless you look hard.

So Mikey is fine.

Then why was he so jumpy before???

"hows your leg doing Leo?"

Leo's head snaps up to meet Mikey's gaze, feeling to shocked by sudden line of questioning to actually answer immediately.

"o-oh uhm my leg is fine Mikey, thanks for asking."

He feels the tension drain out of him now that he's sure Mikey isn't hurt, he looks fine, if a bit panicky, and Leo is starting to wonder what kind of secret he's hiding in his sketchbook. The blackmail opportunities could be unreal....

He's *definitely* trying to cover something up, now Leo *can* just outright say that he knows that, but watching Mikey try, and fail, to lie about it, would be waaaaay funnier.

"OH really.....?" Leo stares him dead in the face even though its not being returned at all "so if your hands aren't hurting, why won't you show me your art? what kind of things were you drawing exactly..?"

Mikey squeaks, and his face dips into his shell a little before popping out again fully, to yell "U-UH ITS TUPER SOP SECRET!!!"

Damn, Dontron probably heard that from his maximum security sound proofed lab, *and* with full volume music blasting through his headphones.

"awww come on, please tell me, please please please please!!" he clasps his hands together and makes what he hopes are decent puppy dog eyes.

His little brother doesn't answer him, instead he sinks down further in his shell.

"Mmmmmnnno, and you still haven't told me why you were in here either?"

Its probably the most awful attempt Leo has ever seen at changing the subject, but he takes pity on his brother and decides to go along with it anyway.

"Nothing really I was just bored and wanted to see if you wanted to come and play Mario kart with me?" he grins "you do owe me for the entertainment I provided you with the other day."

The box turtle visibly perks up at this face now fully visible.

"omigosh!! yes! absolutely! I would love to!!" he threw hi sketchbook behind him, and hopped off his chair "lead the way Leon!!"

Leo couldnt help the laugh that sputtered out of him. How Mikey could go from dying of fear, to sunshine and smiles in such a short time was beyond him.

"yeah yeah alright, would you mind giving me a hand though? my leg is kinda sore today."

Mikey swings round and looks at him accusingly "I thought you said it was fine??"

Oh shit yeah.

"Y-yeah it is!! its just a little sore, promise, now come on give me a hand you goof."

Mikey rolls his eyes, but can't help the grin that over takes his face and agreeably lends Leo his shoulder.

He won't bother Mike about whatever he's hiding, Leo may be crazy curious, but he knows that if Mikey does anything to dumb or to stupid, he's got him to rely on and go to when he's in need of help, so Leo feels comfortable in letting him hide whatever it is he's hiding, plus he thinks he'd know if it was somthing bad.

____________________________

It was roughly around 3am, and the little sleep Leo got these days was unfortunately interrupted yet again with another nightmare, another dream about the Kraang again, but this time it was concentrated on *Mikey*.

His mind kept playing a loop of the exact moment when Mikey left-when he was gone, gone gone gone gone gone, went cold in Leos arms and, and-Leo woke up. Drenched in his own sweat, hot and frozen at the same time, still stuck in the position he fell asleep in. Unable to move, it took him an eternity before his *useless* muscles finally dragged themselves upright and out of his bed.

He was sprinting towards Mikey's dimly lit glittery train cart before he even realized he was doing it. Chest heaving, and the ache in his leg only second hand awareness at best.

Warm orange light was pouring out of the cart, and the smell of that citrus diffuser his baby brother always insisted on using was so subtle, but so overwhelmingly comforting, that it sort of makes Leo want to cry.

The lights being on must me he's awake then, and Leo thanks pizza supreme in the sky, because waking up his brothers from the little sleep they got nowadays felt awful. And doing it to Mikey always felt the worst, because that was his little brother he was waking up, and for his own stupid needs too.

Stupid. stupid. stupid. Stupid.

He slides open the door as quietly as he can,his eyes taking a minute to adjust.

Mikey is passed out on the floor, pens pencils, headphones and other art supplies scattered around him and it makes his heart momentarily jump into his throat seeing he's not awake-not alive *not moving*. He snaps out of the spiral quickly though and realizes he needs to calm down right now or he's gonna pass out.

Having a panic attack in his little brothers room is not the most optimal place to do so, so the slider takes a minute to compose his frenzied nerves realizing how worse it's gotten since he woke up. So sitting next to his *sleeping* brother, he breathes in and out in slow even breathes, in the way they all learnt to, it was almost muscle memory by now.

Ha, if only it was that easy to actually calm down.

Leo stands up joints creaking and leg whining in the protest, oh right, he ran here, that's gonna hurt like a bitch tommorow he just knows it.

Picking Mikey up is usually no problem, hes small and lightweight compared to his brothers, but with his shaking arms and tired body, (that's currently down a leg) the task is almost monumental, and he feels out of breathe by the time he's dumped the box turtle into his hammock.

He can still hear soft music playing from Mikey's headphones and he picks them up and listens to it. His mind is still groggy from all the running and panicking, so it takes a second to realize whats playing.

Oh! It's Mr sunshine! Ha, he's so good.

Oh, wait. it's Mr sunshine. maybe they should talk about that later...

He turns the headphones off and puts it on his desk along with his pens, pencils, rubbers, rulers-who needs four rulers?? Where did he even get this all from?who needs this many art supplies and aren't half of these markers dried out anyway??

He can't even be bothered to ask right now, he unceremoniously dumps all of it back on the desk without further question, he picks up Mikey's phone, hoping that he was just listening to music and not staring at that it, would be awful for his eyes. But when he picks it up however he's not greeted with music, but a comic book. And not just any comic book, he notices belatedly,but his favourite.

Jupiter Jim and the eight giant dragons of evil why would he be reading that?

Leo blinks a few times, a bit confused to say the least, before he finally glances down at the sketchbook in his hands.

And sees and exact replica of the page but in pencil.

And then it clicks. everything clicks.

holy shit, Mikey is trying to recreate his favourite comic book. But there's no way??

Now Leo doesn't know much about art, he half listens to info dumps about trashy a.i art, and the hatred that Mikey has for wearing gas masks (against solid protests from himself, Raph and Donnie to do so otherwise

But Leo knows that making a comic book is *hard*, harder and more time consuming that it has any right to be, even for a good artist like Mikey-and he would know! He tried making his own when he was like 12 only to get frustrated an angry 2 minutes in, and quit (he hasn't tried since).

And secondly, how did he even realize he had wanted the real version of a comic anyway? He hadn't *asked* for one, hadn't hinted at wanting it. He swore Mikey was actually a fucking mind reader sometimes, maybe this was just another "mystic warrior thing" he doesn't get.

And then, the sudden, very violent urge to cry swamps him. Even if Mikey never finishes this project never gives it to him, he still *wanted* to.

The fact is, that Mikey, with injured arms, and a hundred other more intersting and wonderful projects more worth his time, is going to attempt to make a comic for *him* and it sort of makes Leo want to cry. It *does* make him cry.

He holds the sketchbook close to his plastron and let's the tears slip down his face. He doenst know what he'd do without his family, without Mikey, he doesn't know what he's Done to deserve the endless patience and comfort that his brothers provide.

He leaves after a minute or two, when the tears on his face stop flowing, leaving sticky trails down his face, and his breathing is no longer raggid from the crying. He leaves the sketchbook and phone where they are, closed and turned off.

Hopefully Mikey will think it was another brother that came in and fixed this all up for him. Or maybe he'll simply belive he cleaned up and put himself to bed and just doesn't remember.

"goodnight little brother, get a good rest."

_____~roughly 2 weeks later~________

Mikey took a deep breathe in, and a deep breathe out. His head was starting to ache from lying it down on his desk for so long, he had decided to take a short break from drawing Leo's comic a while ago, much to his disdain. Although he can't say specifically, since everything in his head feels like molasses, and he's to busy concentrating on the never ending pain in his hands to think about it for to long.

It feels almost nauseating. His body thrumming uncomfortable, the itchy, fiery energy getting stronger, hands shaking more fiercely until it reaches its peak, and his while body seizes up and let's go.

(Its his own fault, this doesn't happen unless he pushes himself to hard. Apparently 6 hours straight of art is not good for you.

Noted.)

He *wants* to pick his head up, he *wants* to carry on drawing, he *wants* to be able to do this for Leo, but he just *can't*. He's useless, his own body is betraying itself, consuming itself in and endless mystic well of power that it itself created, and Mikey can't do anything but sit here and whimper in the dark.

He feels pathetic, he doesn't even know how long it will last. The longest period was 6 hours, which is the closest to living hell he's ever been, beside watching Leo throw himself into the prison dimention, followed closely in second by opening the actual portal itself.

He can't even move enough to grab his phone and call his brothers, he can't scream or talk. So he sits there, and cries and sobs and hiccups openly, and loudly, praying that *someone* will hear him. Thankfully but no sooner than he had started crying, had the small sliver of light coming through his door begun to get bigger, and his train cart door began to open.

".... Angelo?."

It was donnie.

*Thank god.*

His voice was still failing him, unable to speak but overwhelmed with the desire to say *something*, he just cried harder.

"woah woah woah! Okay okay Angelo I'm right here okay? Your safe, your fine." he crouched down by the desk so he was closer to Mikey's face "I'm... I'm gonna pick you up now okay Angleo? If I end up hurting you in any way just uh chirp okay?"

Donnie put an arm underneath his legs and shell, and lifted him up into a bridal carry, pausing slightly to listen for the sound of Mikey's distressed chirp, before continuing forward towards his door. Mikey slumps and closes his eyes, pressing his warm face into Donnie's cool arm. He let's out a sigh of content, no longer cramped from being stuck in a stiff and awkward position, for who knows how long.

Donnie sighs,in that long suffering kind of way he always does when his family has done something stupid, but Mikey doesn't bother to open his eyes to see what face he makes.

Mikey thinks he must have fallen asleep at some point, because when he's next aware, he's being handed off to a very worried looking Raph.

"hey big man sorry to wake you up, you can carry on cuddling with Dee in a minute he just needs to do somthing okay?" Raph is smiling down at him and holds him just a little tighter.

Mikey nods, and rubs his eyes turning his head so he can look at the scene in front of him, (his hands barely even hurt anymore, maybe they rubbed that special cream that Draxum made on them) they're in the TV room now, illuminated by the projection screen paused hlaf way through on one of Leo's favourite movies, him and Donnie are placing various pillows and blankets on the floor.

Leo is whispering something to his twin in a frantic, worried, hushed tone that Mikey is to tired to parse right now.

But Donnie looks at Mikey for a fraction of a second, before rolling his eyes affectionately and placing down the last of the pillows, (they were probably talking about him, he hopes he isn't barred from making breakfast tommorow though, he wanted to make omelettes) huffing, when Raph unceremoniously flops down on top of them shell first, Mikey still being held against his plastron. Raph opens up his arms and Leo snuggles right up beside him, whilst Donnie snuggles into Raph's other side.

Mikey can feel himself start to drift off into comfortable sleep again, when he feels a familiar finger rudely poke him in the face. He opens his eyes just barely to see a familiar blue mask and worried brown eyes peering back at him.

"sorry mi hermano this'll be quick, I promise, what were you doing that caused your arms to flare up so badly?"

Mikey feels annoyed that he's being kept up for this but sighs and concedes "mmmmm I was drawing for a really long time.... and i didn't take any breaks..." he mumbles, shutting his eyes again, falling faster into darkness this time.

"oh....." Leo sighs softly "your to nice for you own good little brother..." Mikey barely even registers his brother's voice anymore, to busy falling asleep to even notice it.

_________________________________

Mikey grins and closes the comic book, he holds it out in front of him looking at all his hard work.

Its done. It's finally done. It took him a month of non stop drawing almost every day to do it.

But he did it.

He puts the Comic down, just to spin around his room and kick his legs, orange flecks of mystic trailing behind his flapping arms.

__________________________

"Oh Leoooooooo~," he sang, sliding into the living room hiding the comic behind his back, and directly away from the view of his older brother "guess what."

"What?"

"I said guess."

"....Mikey are you being serious right now?"

"Yuppers!"

Leo threw his head back and sighed "you know I may sound like Donnie right now, but there are an infinite amount of things to guess from so you may have to give me a hint."

"okay! So I got you gift, buuuuuut you have to guess what it is."

Leo's back straightens and he stares at Mikey with much more exitement "wait are you being serious? You got me a gift?"

"Yeah haha I did, would you like me to just give it to you?" he feels nervous now, he's not really sure he's ready for this, but is going to do it anyway against his own better judgement.

"Uhm yes obviously?? Now gimme" Leo puts out his hands and makes a grabbing motion like an impatient child awaiting to be given something, it's clearly to lighten up the situations which Mikey is making weird with his nervousness.

"Pftttt okay okay here take it."

He walks over to Leo and passes him the comic praying that he likes it, Mikey does, he's so proud, but that means nothing if Leo doesnt like it.

Leo takes the comic and looks closer, his eyes widen when he realizes what it is he's holding, "oh my god Mikey did you *make* this?".

"mhm! I noticed you didn't have any physical copies of your comics and they can't be bought like anywhere, online or off, so I decided to make you one!"

Leo's hands tremble as he deftly turns each page oddly quiet.

Mikey watches as his face morphs into something warm and touched, his smile big and eyes watery-

Wait what?!?

A big fat tear slips down Leo's face without a hand coming to wipe it away and Mikey stands there stunned.

He's watched Leo cry many MANY MANY times, whether it be due to a scraped knee, or a broken scateboard when they were little or due to nightmares over the Kraang, Mikey's seen it all. Him and Leo have always cried the most. But he's never seen Leo cry over something as simple and as meaningless as a comic book before.

"Mikes, did you *make* this for me?" his voice wobbles as he speaks, a disbelieving smile still stretched across his face, still holding the book and flipping through its pages slowly and carefully, scanning each page like he hadn't read them all a million times before, like they were something new, something precious.

Mikey feels slightly vulnerable and embarrassed when Leo looks up at him, remembering that there are definitley some really awfully drawn pages in there, nights where his hands wouldn't stop shaking, or the pose was just to difficult and seeing him cry over it is a bit worrying.

Mikey looks at the corner of the room, man he should really do some dusting, "um, yeah, sorry by the way, some of them are really badly drawn, a-and i know you've already read it a million times so it's really not that goo-"

Leo cuts him off by grabbing the strap around his shell and pulling him down onto the been bag into a 10/10, ultimate crushing big brother hug.

Mikey doesn't fight it these hugs are the *best* hugs.

"mikey- i cant-*holy fuck*, this is like, the nicest and most thoughtful gift i have *ever* been given the fact you even noticed I missed my comics makes me want to hide in my shell and cry so hard my tear ducts will explode, don't you *ever* apologise ok?"

Mikey felt HIMSELF tear up.

Your artwork is incredible and so so beautiful, Leo sniffs and Mikey feels so happy, (he's pretty sure his arms are glowing, not that he can see from where his snout is buried in Leo's shoulder) "i can't believe you put in the effort even with your hands to make a whole comic book just to make me feel better, that must have taken forever."

"I'm-im-yeah, I'm so glad you it Leo."

They stay like that for far to long, sitting on a bean bag that is way to small to fit them both, laughing and chatting and crying whilst look through the comic.

______________________________________

It's not his old comic book, with ink smudged and faded colours, with nights spent rereading and loving. cherished, on its spot on the shelf, with worn edges and a broken spine. It's not the gift he was given when he was 9, a start of a long love for the franchise, and hours in the further of areas of the sewers to find more of them.

It's not any of that but it's something *more*.

Becasue it's *Mickey*.

It's his little brothers drawing, its long nights spent caring about him, and hope to make him just a tiny bit happier.

It's work, and shaking arms and passion. It's family and love and warmth, it's sleepless nights and something handcrafted, and Leo can see it etched into every line of the page. It's not old like it used to be, it's something wonderful, and something new, it's a gift, and every single line is different now because the adoration Mikey has for all of his brothers is radiating out of them.

Each mistake on the page is another mark of Mikey, another mark of his gift and it's meaning.

He can't ever get back what he's lost, he'll never be the same as he was, but he thinks now, whilst looking at the pages softly, this is maybe just a little bit better, just a little but more exciting and new.

Mikey will never know what this means to Leo, because to him, this is just another "small" act of kindness the same as he'd do for anyone.

And although Leo would never admit it, it makes everything he's been through just a little more smaller, and a little less scary, because if something this good can happen out of somthing so miserable? then maybe the future won't be so awful after all, and maybe it never was, his brothers will always be there for him, and he can't believe he ever doubted them in the first place.

_________________________________________

Please remember the idea for this fic was written by turtleblogatlast

And here's the the original little script they wrote!!! Read original script

Goooooood hahaha so uhm I hope you like it!! (Also sorry this became a little more Mikey centric than it was supposed to be I am a Mikey kinnie and tend to make everything about him😭)

I absolutely love your writing and the things you do so just think of this as a thankyou gift for being so cool!

I wanted to sprinkle more of your headcannon in haha but I didn't know where to start or when I could mention them sorry:(

Also apologies for all my head cannons I could help myself

"I will make this fic purely for someone else and won't add my own headcannons!......... F*ck."

[eorzeanflowers]

10 Fandoms, 10 Characters, 10 tags

Basic rules: choose 10 fandoms that you are part of/support, and choose a favorite character from each of those. Then, tag ten folks!

Tagged by: @miqojak Ty for the tag!!! Sorry it took a hot minute.

Tagging: Uhhhhh, @terminuspride, @fair-fae, @alannah-corvaine, @voidsentprinces, @healerstail, @ahollowgrave, @alicelufenia, @starrysnowdrop, @briar-ffxiv, @driftward

Now to the list! In no real particular order cause I really just drift from thing to thing.

Penny Polendina (RWBY)

I love my quirky little robot girl. She's the absolute best, a brilliant fighter and very emotionally intelligent. She is such a cheerful ideal, someone who tries to see the best in people. She knows when they've gone too far and isn't afraid to stand up for what she wants! Which is the whole core of her little arc. Being a weapon given a soul and all. It is a beautiful story of a little girl who cares so much and wishes to be able to just... be that cheerful little girl without the weight of the world. Its just so sweet.

Honorable mentions: Ruby, Weiss, Blake, Yang, Oscar, Neo

2. Kafka (Star Rail)

In all honesty she's the reason I'm even playing Star Rail. She is such a mysterious character, with a voice to die for. Yes, Hoyoverse characters tend to be rather shallow (that's a gacha game for ya), but Kafka just hits everything I love in a character. Her character short when she was fully released is... *chef's kiss* just amazing. I will admit, every time she does her ult in game I join her in saying "Boom." ^_^;

Honorable Mentions: March 7th, Stelle (Trailblazer F), Seele, Bronya, Jingliu

3. Lyse (FFXIV)

Shocker, the leading lady of Stormblood is still my favorite? Honestly, all three of the ladies from Stormblood are the trifecta of favorites. (Lyse, Fordola and Yotsuyu) The various storylines that cause them to interact is such a delight. I wasn't too bothered by the whole "Yda was my sister" thing, cause well, Yda was barely in the game post ARR... And like, it was always Yda and Papalymo. Never just one or the other. So when Lyse got the chance to shine and actually take center stage, I was smitten. She's tough, gentle, sassy, collected, brilliant, a bit silly, and more. Such a well written character. I'm still upset she left the scions tbh. Could've added a little hair color diversity by a little bit. :P

Honorable mentions: Aymeric, Hilda, Erenville, Zero, Y'shtola, Thancred, Ryne, Gaia, Minfillia

4. Gideon Nav (The Locked Tomb)

Ok, seriously, this series grabbed me by the throat and would not let me go. Gideon is such a lovely first viewpoint (and I adore all the viewpoint characters). She takes no shit, talks a lotta shit, and can fight a whole heck more shit. The way she interacts with Harrow at first, then the other Necromancers and their Cavaliers is such a delight. Sure you hate Harrowhark so much Gideon, why are you obeying her command to not speak a single word to literally anyone else, hmmmmmmmmmmm?????? Also the gay panic that Gideon seems to have on the regular is just. Great. I don't want to speak too much more on Gideon, cause this series is just great and you should read it.

Honorable mentions: Harrowhark Nonagesimus, Nona, Camilla Hect, Ianthe Tridentarius, Coronabeth Tridentarius.

5. Raiden Ei (Genshin Impact)

Last time it was Eula, now it is Raiden Ei. It is always a toss up between them, if I'm being honest. Ei is just... such a sad puppy? XD Its the best way to describe her. So trapped in her own past and trying to do what would best preserve her sister's memory... She's just SAD guys. Yeah, she may not be the best governing force for her nation, and she indirectly killed a lotta people with her retreating away and leaving a puppet behind, but we the Traveler showed up and fixed things! Also she gets two amazing boss fights, I honestly wish I could do the story one again but I ain't working through Mondstat and Liyue again. >.>;

Honorable mentions: Eula, Alhaithem, Deya, Kamisato Ayaka, Zhongli, Nahida, Navia, the Wanderer, Wriothsley

6. Karlach (Baldur's Gate 3)

KARLACH IS THE BEST AND SHE IS SO SWEET AND LOVELY AND SHOULD NOT HAVE TO GO BACK TO HELL OR DIE OR [redacted]. She is such a lovely goofball that even shows platonic love if you don't romance her and I really think that is great! Her arc tying into Gortash was delightful, bringing her much more into the story instead of just a bystander like a couple of them. (Like out of all the origin companions Astarion barely has any connection to any of the major players in the story, he's pretty self contained tbh.) Her sweetness, the way she says she's gonna eat dirt if you leave her camp, and her cheerful demeanor are just.... Amazing. I'm really running out of words for Karlach cause she is my favorite. I'm gonna have to start BG3 up again and actually play my romance run of her soon.

Honorable mentions: Shadowheart, Wyll, Astarion, Lae'zel, Dammon, Orin, Jaheira, Minthara, Isobel, Aylin

7. The Doctor (Doctor Who)

Ok, a bit of a cop out since, you know, they are the star of the show. BUT COME ON. The Doctor in their various iterations have been so enjoyable. My personal favorite is Tennet's 10, but Capaldi's 12 is a strong second. Its just a good show to binge at times. There are a lottta good episodes, a few really bad ones, but overall its a good time. The scene at the end of the special where they rescue Gallifrey is still one of my favorite scenes in the whole franchise. And hell, the Archeologist is based (loosely) on them, so how can I not include them?

Honorable mentions: DONNA NOBLE, Rose Tyler, Clara Oswald, Bill Potts, Me, Strax

8. Xion (Kingdom Hearts)

Have I mentioned I love tragic characters? Xion is literally the definition of tragedy, with all the problems with her just existing lol. Her presence in 358/2 Days really made the game for me. Roxas was kinda bland and having someone that was similar in age (like Sora, Riku and Kairi were) to interact with made it all that much better. AND SHE GETS THE HAPPY ENDING. Eventually. Boy is it a long road, but that's Kingdom Hearts for ya.

Honorable Mentions: Kairi, Namine, Riku, Sora, Aqua, Terra, Master Xehanort, Isa, Lea

8. Lucina (Fire Emblem)

I really wanna pick someone else in all honesty, but Fire Emblem has a worse problem than Hoyoverse games in their bit characters. :/ Lucina is a strong character that really delighted me when I played Awakening. She's such a surprise that it really helps make that Fire Emblem my favorite. She's got a good supporting cast too, with Robin and her dad Chrom, but Awakening was really her game. Chrom was kinda there just to be her dad lol

Honorable mentions: Robin, Chrom, Ike, Mist, Soren, Sumia, Erika, Marisa, Lyon, Elincia

9. Trevor Belmont (Castlevania)

Full disclosure, I have not played his game, in fact the only two castlevania's I have played both feature non Belmont's as the lead players (Portrait of Ruin and Order of Ecclasia). But the way Trevor is in the show, OH BOY. He is rough, he is blunt, he is smart, he is SOOOO dumb, he is loyal, he is a fighter, he never gives up, HE IS JUST GREAT. He's also one of my biggest Bi panics when he shows how much of a badass he is in episode, I think, 4 or 5 or later? Its been a hot minute since I watched that series. When he first uses the flail weapon that I forget the name of.

Honorable mentions: Shanoa, Jonathan Morris, Charlotte Aulin, Sypha Belnades, Alucard, Dracula

10. Aigis (Persona)

Aigis is a super cutie and I love her interactions with the female protagonist. I really wish P3 wasn't such a long game and Aigis actually showed up a little earlier. She's just a doll! I do need to try and find a copy (or emulate) FES to play the storyline with her as the lead singer. Its just so rough to get thru P3 I just lose motivation. T.T I've made it to the vacation part with the female lead, like, three times and no further cause my motivation tanks. WHICH IS WEIRD CAUSE THAT'S WHEN YOU MEET AIGIS. Its just too long for me I guess. XD

Honorable mentions: Teddie, Female lead P3, Male lead P4, Yukari Takeba, Mitsuru Kirijo, Akihiko Sanada, Fuuka Yamagishi, Shinji Aragaki, Junpei Iori, Chidori Yoshino, Elizabeth, Theodore

Not gonna lie, kinda struggled to find a full 10 franchises to pull a character from. My mind just goes blank when asked my favorite character from X place. Names escape me and everything. XD But as you can see, I love robot girls, strong girls, mysterious girls, tragic girls, a fail man, and traveling weirdo.

[skratchytheclown]

Koopaling Blog Collaboration Idea:

Ok, I know my blog isn't very big and I don't have very good ideas, but darn it I didn't want this idea to die. I have an idea for a collaboration that I think all the Koopaling blogs can participate in (whether they draw traditionally or digitally).

Okay, here is the idea (and rules):

One blog will start. What they will do is draw a full-body drawing of a koopaling or broodal (probably a koopaling because not all koopaling blogs have broodals, or maybe there can be a separate broodal collaboration). The koopaling (or broodal) they choose can be wearing an outfit of some kind. The drawing does not need to be colored, but it would be nice if it was, I guess.

After the drawing is done, they will post it, and tag another koopaling blog (just one) in their post. Then, the tagged blog will have to draw their own version of that same character in the same outfit. Once their drawing is done, they will reblog the original post, place their drawing in the new post, and tag another blog.

Ok I hope I explained it well enough lol.

By the way, I have a feeling that even if we want to do this idea, it won't actually happen because nobody will step up to start, so here's my solution to that: The first comment that says "I want to start" will be the blog that starts the collaboration. If not, ..uhhhhh, KAS will do it :D (just 'cause you're the most active and well-known blog in this community, I think).

Now I will just tag all of the Koopaling blogs I know (and that seem active):

@splatoondetective, @thekoopalingsandstuffs, @maggie4thewin? (Don't know if you're active but I'll tag you anyway lol), @aron-q, @hopusthebrainlessfloof, @crossycrosserog, @koopaling-au

[anosrepasi]

Tagged by @aeide and @ainulindaelynn, thank you two!

1) How many works do you have on AO3? 22, so far.

2) What’s your total AO3 word count? 140,852

3) What fandoms do you write for? Quite a couple now! And amazingly I have even more unposted. The Hobbit, Fallout 4, The Old Guard, Supernatural, The Legend of Zelda, Full Metal Alchemist, Greedfall, BG3, Horizon: zero dawn, uhhhhh.

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1 - Lingua Franca (by a landslide)

2 - Soil and Ashes

3 - Kitsukuroi

4 - what you call a thing is seldom what it is

5 - Prima Lingua (I was surprised this wasn't higher up given that its connected to Lingua Franca)

5) Do you respond to comments? I try really hard but usually end up responding very late in bursts. If you've commented on my work and haven't received a reply... i'm working on it. I will get there eventually. This is a turtle vs hare situation.

6) What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?...This is hard cause most of my fics are unfinished as of right now but.... I think Lacuna for posted but unfinished fics and uh. two of my so far unposted BG3 fics will take the running once they get posted.

7) What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? A lot of them could probably be considered the "happiest" mostly cause i usually make the characters go through the worst of it right before the resolution so comparatively they're happy. >.>

8) Do you get hate on fics? So far no, maybe the occasional pedantic comment that i just... ignore. I think LF was the only fic where I had to deal with that. Perks of being relatively small in fandoms.

9) Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Nah, not my cup of tea.

10) Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? The only one I've written I think is the Hob Gadling meets Sebastian Le Livre and become immortal drinking buddies. That's only been posted here on tumblr though.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge!

12) Have you ever had a fic translated? Not to my knowledge :)

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before? Nope, I'd be open to the idea of any of my writer buds want to try something low stakes for fun and giggles.

14) What’s your all time favorite ship? I'm not sure I could answer this one cause I'll immediately think of another ship the moment I try and define a favorite ship for 'all time'. Which is great cause there's so many good fandoms and ships out there, what a cool thing to never run out of.

15) What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I also am not a super big fan of this question cause sometime a fic needs years to crystalize into what its supposed to be and we're all doing this for fun/for free... sooooooo you get what you get, and WIPs aren't worth less to the fandom just because they're incomplete.

16) What are your writing strengths? Making people cry (hopefully)

17) What are your writing weaknesses? Anything resembling a consistent writing or posting schedule.

18) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? You ask this as if I didn't do a ton of research and base my own knowledge of linguistics to write semi-coherent lingurian in Lingua Franca. If I feel I can pull it off to some degree and it adds to the story? oh hell yes. It's also one of my favorite literary devices in fic and in shows (I'm looking at you Shogun 2024, you beautiful beautiful tv show on the intrigue of translation)

19) First fandom you wrote for? uhhhh. Naruto on like, fanfic.net for the super old stuff. The hobbit for my modern era lmao.

20) Favorite fic you’ve written? I don't have a favorite, I think? My brain just kind of demands I make up stories and like, I am a happier person having made up stories so I do that. Each story has something I absolutely adore about it that I needed to explore but none of them are my absolute favorite above the others.

And that's all folks. I'd love to tag @ongreenergrasses, @lobstermatriarch, @green-nbean, @findusinaweek, @aevallare, @avelera, @tirsynni, @nagia-pronounced-neijia , @poppypopp and with any other writers who'd like to play :) No pressure though!!

[autisticbokutoenthusiast]

tag game

tagged by @jgyapologism

1. why did you choose your url?

it was something different but i made a fan account on twt and then decided to also be found here? or maybe it was specifically when twitter started going to shit and we thought it would shut down the first times that i made this account an extension of that one? (it wasnt much before). and now i dont even use twt so lol

2. any sideblogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

no because i dont understand how they work

3. how long have you been on tumblr?.

9 years? i think i joined in 2015?

4. do you have a queue tag?

no cause i queue randomly and often. (i like getting to surprise myself with posts i like at a random later date)

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

i wanted to follow accounts that talked about my interests!! also i felt too cringe for the other sites and this webbed site has a loser reputation

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

uhhhhh it was my twt one last or maybe two pride months ago and i stuck with it. (it used to be bokuto in season 4 looking at hinata with his eyebrows iykyk)

7. why did you choose your header?

the power of volleyball yuri!!! i chose it to celebrate vnl but now that vnl is over ig i can change it... but i love melissa vargas so much i want her there

8. what is your post with the most notes?

"they should invent joints that dont hurt" <- banger i know and it has like 16,000 notes last i saw

9. how many mutuals do you have?

uhhhh idk how to even tell that

10. how many followers do you have?

244

11. how many people do you follow?

96 which is a lot but not all of them are active anymore :(

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

see my most popular

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

like 2-3 times, more if im bed bound.. is this chronically online of me? probably

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

not on this website i dont think...

15. how do you feel about 'you need to reblog this' posts?

i immidiately scroll past any "you need to __" make me want to not look at it

16. do you like tag games?

yes! but sometimes they make me nervous for no reason!

17. do you like ask games?

yes but i feel bad sending the asks cause what if i do the thinks ive been asked to wrong

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

in terms of certain tags/fandoms maybe but overall tumblr famous then no

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

no <3

[confluencechimera]

get to know 9 people thingy! I got tagged by @dandelyle o7 thanks!

Last Song Listened to: Curicó by Kiltro

Currently Reading: Golden Tresses of the Dead (Alan Bradley), The Postironic Man (Issac Asimov), and Full Throttle (Joe Hill), I like having options kjsdfhjsd

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: mmm savory. I like salty stuff

Obsession: Transformers... more than meets the eye... Transformers... that car is a guy

Relationship Status: i have a lovely partner @alolan-weavile. they let me eat their pickles

Last thing I googled: lyrics to the song I just listened to LMAO

Currently working on: OC designs! I've been trying to design this one character for like a week now!! 😭

and I'll tag uhhhhh @koiryuu @sketchy-galaxy @hexusproductions @hashtag-anthems @rolanslide @ninesofeight @sprimpfriedrice and anybody else who wants to do this cause I am running out of ppl coming to my head but consider yourself tagged

[benjaycaptain]

20 Qs for fic writers

came across an "anyone who wants to do this" post, so here we go noooo i'm not procrastinating lol

1. How many works do you have on A03? 23 on my old, 18 on my current

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 594,564 orz

3. What fandoms do you write for? descendants mostly on the current ao3, used to be marvel on my old, and now ffvii is working its way onto my page. i've done one offs for jp3, fast and furious, and the 13th warrior. need to finish the tf2 fic. back in my ffn days it was mainly rent with across the universe and spamalot thrown in

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? as of writing this: 1) nothing in this world but myself to protect me 2) friends never say goodbye 3) in time gone by 4) if only 5) i just want our time to be slower and gentler, wiser, free [it's hilarious to me that the second and third most kudo'd fic are for my now notps lmao]

5. Do you respond to comments? i try to, but sometimes i feel awkward if i haven't replied to something in so long and feel like it's too late for me to comment orz

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? oh probably broken truth for sure. i put banner through the wringer in that one

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? i feel like most of my fic has a HEA, despite everything lmao

8. Do you get hate on fics? no, not really hate, at least not any more lol mostly it's just entitlement lots of times

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? what kind this says lol non/dubcon, porn with feelings, pwp, kink with feelings. like, what else is there lmao

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? no, not generally. closest i've gotten is writing fic for an rp i was part of lol oh, i mean, i do create pokemon aus of things, but rarely do i actually write anything for them

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that I'm aware of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? yeah, someone asked permission to translate friends never say goodbye into chinese. outside of that, no idea

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? nope, just done rp within my group

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? ah shit lmao how can you make shipper trash such as myself pick an all time favorite ;-;

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? oh, probably scars. might have to actually go back and mark than as abandoned weh

16. What are your writing strengths? people might say smut, but i think it's dialogue, having the characters speak naturally and believably. the one good aftereffect of being a former theater kid

17. What are your writing weaknesses? description by far. i don't think i can describe things for shit, so i'm surprised when people comment on it

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? i do not do this because i personally know i'd butcher other languages. i usually just denote another language is being spoken by doing this, if the pov character understands it: "[I am saying this sentence in German]," he said. otherwise, i'd just say something like "they said something in Language" or just use a few phrases or words here and there cause i am not creative xD

19. First fandom you wrote for? ever? uhhhhh sailor moon or tenchi muyo. the fandom for the first fic i ever posted was rent tho

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? either the gift of paradise or i just want our time to be slower and gentler, wiser, free. both source materials intimidated the hell out of me, but i feel like the tone and voice of the material shines through, brightly at that!

Tagging @descendantofthesparrow @auradon-bore-a-don @dragonwrangler @karenhikari and anybody who wants to do this meme!

[each-uisge-and-glashtyn]

you reblogged 2 posts back to back correctly identifying the fandom and tagging appropriately (mdzs, aa). did you follow me into them and if you didnt then what fandom do you recomend? you are clearly a person of excellent taste. i'm looking for something that will leave me completely unhinged please and thank u

I have reblogged much of those fandoms, but i did not follow you into them!

A couple of my friends have loved AA for YEARS, and I've been (excruciatingly slowly) working my way through the first trilogy since like 2020. I just finished the second game. For as much as I adore Edgeworth, AA is.........not my favored game series. I'm debating figuring out how to rom the one with Simon Keyes so I can see my blorbo-in-law, though.

And my roommate got into MXTX right about when everyone else english side got super hyped up for the English release announcements, and ended up taking me down with her. MDZS is good, it's her favorite, but HOB/TGCF has my heart in a chokehold. You just can't beat 800 years of devotion like that!! Also the level of weirdo4weirdo hualian are is just *chef's kiss*. (Yes I've also read, and reblogged, svsss. Shen Yuan is just like me for real for real, and it infuriates me. I'd be more self aware if I transmigrated, and as soon as OOC lock came off? Fucking MY world now.)

Anyway, you're looking for recommendations. Uhhhhh. Truthfully, I'm not sure, since most of my unhinged brain rot series are (relatively) old and terminal at this point, as well as not being able to entirely account for personal taste. You're catching those two cause they're New and Active. And I apologize if i rec something you already are into, i can NOT keep track of all the fandoms I've seen people in over the years. But! Things I have brain rot over, in somewhat decreasing rot:

☆ D. N. Angel (manga by Yukiru Sugisaki) (the OG brainrot)

☆ Kuroshitsuji (manga by Yana Toboso)

☆ Devil Survivor & Devil Survivor 2 (jrpg video games by Atlus)

☆ Persona 4 & Persona 5 (jrpg video games by Atlus)

☆ K (anime by GoHands and GoRA)

☆ Fire Emblem: Three Houses & Fire Emblem: Three Hopes (jrpg video games by Intellegent Systems and Koei Tecmo)

☆ Amnesia series (japanese otome vn by Idea Factory)

☆ The Queen's Thief series (books by Megan Whalen Turner)

☆ The Queen's Blade series (books by TC Southwell)

☆ The Sylph series (books by L. J. McDonald)

☆ Captive Prince trilogy (books by C. S. Pacat)

Please be aware that most of these come with Content Warnings, and please either look them up or ask what they are if you're concerned!

I think most other things have brain rot characters in them, but aren't overall something I'm gone for. But!! I'm probably forgetting things!! Because I have a shit memory even for my beloveds!! If you want to know what gave me brain rot, even if only for a short time, checking out my tags or my AO3 bookmarks is the way to go. If I liked it enough to give it a tag or bookmark it, it's rotted some part of my brain at some point (esp bookmarks). I'd say if i wrote it too, but a couple things I wrote for an exchange despite not being what I'd normally care about. Good luck!!!

[gamchawizzy]

Once you get this, you have to say five things you like about yourself, publicly. Then you have to send this to ten of your favorite followers 🖤

HEEHEHE oki!!

I like the way I worldbuild!! I've only talked to @/s0yuzsauce about my stories in their entirety, but I take so much pride in them! Honestly asking anything about my OCs and their customs or towns and I'm sure to be able to blabber about them!

I like my place on the internet rn! It sounds a little odd but I used to be very worried about popularity on the internet a few years back. This was mostly due to being surrounded by people who made it too much of a big deal, but right now I'm very happy being able to take it slow and interact with people at my own pace. I feel very blessed to have good friends here (incl. you!) and be able to yap on and on about my interests without feeling like I have to compete! I'm at peace with where I am and I'm glad I didn't let all of that stuff get to my head entirely.

I like my willingness to try new things all the time! I always love new opportunities to do something new. I don't get too bored very easily because I can just fill my head with thinking about stories or worldbuilding, but doing new things, tasting new food, cooking new recipes, going to places, learning new languages and skills...these are all exciting to me!

I like my hair! Right now it's a bit short since I shaved for fun sometime back but I KNOW I look good with any length of hair. Sometimes I bleach it and dye it fun colours and it boosts my confidence more! Lately I've been keeping it natural just to see how my growth is like when uninterrupted. I also love my body hair! My thick brows too. My country's beauty standards prefer people to not be so hairy, but I don't care! I walk out there like a full on werewolf and I FEEL great! I hope I can grow out a beard soon though to complete the look ahahaha

Lastly, I like having a very diverse music taste! I cannot limit myself to few genres - i can't think about genres even at all! I'll happily listen to anything and I don't understand people who look down on certain music just cause it's uncool or mainstream or whatever. My playlist will consist of vocaloid, billboard hits, pirate metal, baltic folk, rap, broadway, eurobeats, horror game osts, oldies, hyperpop... literally everything! I also love compiling playlists! I will gladly make playlists for any vibe I want and even about my OCs and stories!

(small preview of all the playlists i cannot stop making)

I'm a little too shy to send this to my followers, so uhhhhh BOOP I TAG ANYONE WHO READS THIS FEEL FREE 2 BANDWAGGIN

[stickers-on-a-laptop]

tagged by @doomednarrative!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

407, might go up to 408 today or tomorrow

2. What is your AO3 wordcount?

730,184

3. What fandoms do you write for?

toku mostly, some bl, a few bromance dramas, maybe 2 or 3 dramas that don't fall into those categories

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

four out of five are explicit utsukare that's insane lmaoooo

Operation Get My Senpais Together (Cherry Magic, M)

drink in all of you, who is so special, (this moment shall pass so) let's take a #photograph

i need your touch (i have no doubt) i want your love until it all runs out, cause you're all that i've been dreaming of (is this just another song about love?) i need your voice i need your lips i need you bad (i wanna steal your kiss)

you're making Something out of Nothing and Jealousy's the Cousin, the cousin of Greed

take the Leap, I'll follow you, put your Hands here, pull me Through keep this way (down at the waist), there's no time to wait, take the Thoughts and let it go (Feel the rhythm, let it flow) Baby, I just want a taste

5. Do you respond to comments?

Almost always! If it's really weird goodbye, or just a natural stopping point in a thread

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

probably this one, tbh? i just could not see it ending happily no matter what i tried

WAIT I LIED.

this one <- ryuki fic about some of the canon deaths

7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

mmmm gonna go with my wred marriage fic

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Think the closest i got was a comment on a cherry magic fic asking me why i didn't think two fourze characters were together.

9. Do you write smut? If so, which kind?

yeah. once upon a time i was embarrassed to write it

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest crossover you’ve ever written?

CONSTANTLY MAN LMAO. uhhhhh probably the sukima suki/cherry magic one. iykyk and if you don't well i am not explaining

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not to my knowledge

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

a few! mostly vietnamese, one chinese

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, just talking with people

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

probably wred, tbh

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i mean i PLAN to finish it but god it's like. so slow going for The Day Where the Pocket Universe That Keeps the Heroes' Weapons Disappeared because canon KEEPS CHANGING ON ME (screams in ooo ten year)

16. What are your writing strengths?

probably dialogue

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

descriptions of like. anything lmao

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i did have this problem majorly for a ranger switch, so i did like

< bold > for english and > italic < for japanese, because the point was that they couldn't understand each other

19. First fandom you wrote for?

either hotel stars or 2moons2 i think.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

there's quite a few i reread but for now going with this one

tagging @incandescentflower @rosemirmir @flaim-ita @missmako-chan @plushie-sentai and anyone who wants to do it!

[forabeatofadrum]

Hello everyone. Thank you @aroace-genderfluid-sheep for the tag and the aro recs.

I am balancing my phone on my leg and I am using one hand to type this cause my other is petting one of the Buttered Scones.

Oh. Okay. She just got up. Oh. Never mind? She walked for half a metre and plopped down again, but I guess that means she's done with the pets. Anyway, I made these photos a few minutes ago while petting:

I actually do not know which one of the Buttered Scones this is. At first I thought #2, since her fur has more brown parts, but then u tried to pet this cat's belly and she made clear she did not like that, which is a very #1 thing to do. And she has a big belly, like #1. But yeah my leg fell asleep from sitting next to this kitty and she only wanted to be petted on her head. If I moved down to the body, she'd move her paws towards me.

All of this to say that I am having a fine time in Italy. I also had some crostata and panettone, and I have used both of these in my Paradiso series so I was ashamed when I realised I forgot what they were. Like, the words rang some bells. Ah well.

Update, the Buttered Scone is eating some leftovers from the ground. It's uhhhhh surrounded by ants. Is this safe?

EDIT ON MONDAY: HOLD THE FUCK UP WHAT???? I THOUGHT TUMBLR FUCKING DELETED THIS SO I WROTE A NEW FUCKING POST

I'll put it under the cut, I guess.

Happy.... Monday. Thank you @aroace-genderfluid-sheep, @artsyunderstudy and @wellbelesbian for the tag, and yeeet tag back @urban-sith!

I had actually written a full post yesterday and it was a special one, cause I wrote it WHILE petting Buttered Scone #1. Alas, Tumblr acted up and the terrible WiFi made certain that my writing wasn't saved, which is why I am now writing this in the notes app. And to make things better, Buttered Scone #2 is sitting next to me!

Anyway, have the photos of #1 that I wanted to post yesterday.

[Photos]

Re: Buttered Scone from the fic, the idea is that Simon's cat has a very normal name but that he just calls her Buttered Scone. I came up with the idea to call her Agatha, which is why Simon insisted on a different name.

(Also, update, #2 just left me.)

I will write it when I get home. Now I am still enjoying my vacation in Italy. I even ate crostata and panettone, which I know from my Paradiso series (hooray!) (I was at the beach today and there was a little kid and yes I am having Rosemary Snow brainrot again.)

Anyway, all of this to say that Agatha should buy, idk, a horse called Simon so that they're even.

And now, the weather: @quizasvivamos @blurglesmurfklaine @coffeegleek @esperantoauthor @otherworldsivelivedin @caramelcoffeeaddict @sillyunicorn @bazzybelle @dragoneggos @raenestee @tectonicduck @nightimedreamersworld @urban-sith @thnxforknowingme @captain-aralias @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @takitalks @justgleekout @cerriddwenluna @tea-brigade @ivelovedhimthroughworse @moodandmist @whogaveyoupermission @bookish-bogwitch @confused-bi-queer @ionlydrinkhotwater @1908jmd @special-bc-ur-part-of-it @larkral @chen-chen-chen-again-chen ​ @cutestkilla ​ @martsonmars ​ @facewithoutheart ​ @shrekgogurt @boyinjeans @rockitmans @bitbybitwrites @blackberrysummerblog @whatevertheweather