#doing my best with that perspective too. gotta make bad art to make good art

[doveshovel]

largely inspired by this :)

^About 90% sure this one's by Matilda Geijer!

[nathandrakeisabottom]

Headcannons about them with an anxious SO? Love your stuff x

Thank you, friend! Now, in full canonical honesty, I don’t believe that either Nathan or Sam would be particularly good at dealing with their deeper anxiety, let alone someone else’s, let alone someone else’s who they loved dearly and would only be afraid to make it worse (that many crumbling bridges and a guy’s gotta if consider his only superpower is the ability to destroy everything he touches) for most of their young lives. 

However, I do believe that post-UC4 (perhaps a little earlier for Nathan), and a good dose of necessary therapy (paid for in pirate coins, of course)--- they’d be more than willing to finally take on the challenge. 

For themselves, and for the person they love more than anything.

Drakes with an Anxious S/O Headcanons

Nathan:

In his younger days, the prince of the awkward smile and half-hearted clap on the back. A pulley doll whose only catchphrases were “Man, that’s hard”, “Yeah. Yeesh.”, and “Soooo, I guess this would be a bad time for a joke, huh?”. Scurries to the bathroom as soon as they’re not in tears anymore, and stays there for as long as it takes to stop hearing the residual sobs.

However, his late 30s and 40s bring him a much healthier perspective (and therapy— Jesus, finally) and being the smarty pants he is, he passes on no opportunity to put his new skills and knowledge to use.

That playfulness and desire to find the lightness in even the hardest situations never leaves him at any age, though.

A panic attack? “‘Is something… wrong with you’? You realize you’re talking to the guy who accidentally destroys ancient temples for a living, as an archaeologist? And I still consider myself a not so bad guy. So in my eyes, you’re basically a lesser known Mesopotamian god.”

Got a bad grade? “A D in Psychometrics? I don’t know, sounds like they don’t know anything about math if they’re using a letter to grade you. Maybe they should go get their teaching certificates checked. Hey, how ‘bout I just draw you a PhD myself? You know I have an eye for art.” 

Dealing with shitty parents? Landlord? Roommates? Exes who won’t leave you the fuck alone? “What? That buffoon? Guy who can’t even spell their own name right? That asshole isn’t worth a thought of a thought of a thought in your head. Pretty sure they haven’t had a thought in their own head since 1996.”

As soon as the first wide-toothed smile is won, he’s leaning into his partner with a secretive smirk: “Ya wanna get the hell out of here?” 

Because distractions always helped him before. 

Will act especially gentlemanly, and theatrically play it up, while taking their partner for a frozen yogurt, antique shop, Target trip, public park, laser tag (yes, really) decompress. Bows when he opens the car door for them. Pays for everything. Calls them ‘your majesty’ for the entirety of the excursion.

All he wants is to get them to smile. And he’s not stopping until he sees it. 

When the night creeps in and his S/O starts to lose steam, Nathan’s own worry grows more obvious, though he tries his best to keep it to himself. 

Watches them with wide eyes. Gives them space, but still asks every few minutes if they need a cup of water. No? Tea? Arnold Palmer? Popsicle? Massage? Hot Pocket? Sexy pillow fight? However many it takes to make his partner laugh again. But he fully means every offer he gives.

Says nothing as he helps them undress and into their PJs. Touches are tender and intimate, gently rubs their shoulders and neck. Never too hard, never too direct. Plays the friendly ghost and lets their partner take the lead, but never, ever just sits around to watch.

Makes them a beverage of some sort, even if they say no. Hot lemonade with honey is his personal homecure. Says yellow is a happy color, so it must be good for you.

And right before they turn the lights out, Nate timidly offers— with a shy, trying chuckle— if they want him to read them a bedtime story. 

Somehow shocked every time they say yes. Mumbles something self-derogatory about himself (“Ya know, not the best actor, but—” “Personally I think I have the voice of a dying goose, but—”) before sitting on the nearest surface and cracking open a book.

If he’s still feeling a little awkward, will uneasily ask if they wanna hear what he’s been reading lately, and will do so if asked— but really wants to read the pirate storybooks his mother read to him and Sam when they were kids.

It always made him feel better when the world felt too big, too scary, too cruel. 

So he wants to share it with the person he loves. 

He wants to share everything with the person he loves.

And without even asking, goes to the medicine cabinet and brings them a tablet of whatever they need when the anxiety gets especially bad, and says “I know, it’s scary. But we’ve been through scary before, right?” with a kiss on the cheek as they swallow it down with a sip of lemonade.

Lingers, eyes down, and vaguely nods to nobody as he stands and walks to the door.

“Want me… uh, want me to keep reading to you?” But he offers before he can even get past the door frame. 

“Do you want me to want you to keep reading to me?” 

And the last thing he wants to see is his love, alone. The idea of them crying beneath the covers because they were too afraid to burden him with it, too afraid to be seen. Everything he felt he had to do when he was 6 and his mother “passed”, age 9, 10, 11, 12 after a black eye, the words that his brain told him wrong: spoken aloud by the playground bullies he feared he’d never be stronger than. 

But he knew they were wrong. The bullies were wrong. The ones in his brain. The ones in theirs.

“Yes.” He replies without missing a beat. 

And he makes sure to hold their hand in his free one until the second they fall asleep… and a few hours after, just to be safe.

The next morning they fucking better expect breakfast in bed— and he maybe, just maybe, might even be willing to spring for McDonald’s, if that’s what they want. As long as they promise to eat actual fruit after. And hell, maybe even a vegetable or two when he makes dinner that night. Did you know that eating right and exercise are actually primary solutions to poor mental health—? That’s what Dr. Dorian said— No, potatoes don’t count as a vegetable— no, especially not if it’s fried— NO, FRENCH FRIES DON’T COUNT, BABY—

Sam:

Sam takes a bit longer to warm up to discussing anxiety than Nathan does, mostly due to struggling so deeply with it on his own. It’s not like prisoners (or Shoreline guards) made the most comforting companions. 

The better he could keep secrets, the less he could reveal, the safer he’d be.

So it makes sense that it’s both his greatest strength and weakness when it comes to emotionally turbulent times. 

In his younger, more avoidant years, he’d be the first to leave the room, leave the building, hell, sometimes even leave the city after a particularly heavy cry or confrontation with his then-partner. Only to come back the next morning and act like nothing ever happened. 

But now, he doesn’t run. After prison, after Rafe, after Madagascar, all he wants is to be allowed to stay. To be wanted to stay by someone who loves him. 

Is happiest to just sit with you in the silence. His biggest skill is his ability to weather the storm. And whether you need to scream bloody murder, or need to sit and decompress and just fucking feel, but can’t do it alone, Sam’s there. Listening. 

Once you’re done talking, he takes one last, long drag of his cigarette, stubs it out onto the pavement, and asks simply: “So do you want solutions… or something else, sweet’art?” 

You can see in his eyes— darting less than solid, certain against your own— that he really means it, in every way that he was too afraid to when he was younger.

The wonderful and terrifying thing about having anxiety while Sam is there is that it’s a vulnerable experience for the both of you. He’s learning, discovering, trying right along with you. And he may not be able to lift you up so easily, but he’ll be able to sink into the dark places with you, and not be afraid to see what’s down there. 

And maybe seeing someone he loves so deeply, sees as so beautiful, so smart, so kind, so wonderful, so absolutely perfect to him feel the same ways he does about himself… maybe it makes him think that he’s not as terrible as his brain tells him, either. 

Helps you take action by letting himself (finally) not be the smart one: “When ya… get like this, what do you usually do first, sweet’art? Paint me a pit’chure.” Gives you complete control, and smiles softly when you wipe your tears and the logical, the archaeological mind awakens. Mimics unraveling an ancient map when you begin to explain, and you inadvertently hiccup out a laugh. 

At times, it’ll feel like he’s trying to run again, but when he stands up and walks across the room— he always returns. This time with your favorite of his jackets, the denim one that smells like him even though he just cleaned it, and drapes it protectively over your shoulders. Clasps his palm at the back of your neck and rubs out the knot he always finds there. Smiles toothy and wide when your words are broken up by sighs of relief. Only to be filled once again with silence, gazes meeting sweet and safe. 

“Remember Indonesia?” He offers with a smirk, despite your furrowed brow.

“I guess? What about—?” 

“I read the runes’ instructions and ran us in circles all around Bali, only to reread the transcript and realized I got three letters completely wrong. J—V—A. Java. It was goddamn Java the entire time.” 

“Your point being?” 

He smiles and shrugs. Trying. Maybe he’s wrong, a foreigner in some ancient, uncertain land, but he tries.

“Sometimes our brains are just wrong.” He tries for you. “That’s all.”

You sniffle, and he leans in to press a prickly kiss to your cheek. His jacket is still warm from the dryer, wafting with the residual sting of cigarette, Old Spice Captain, cheap mouthwash, even cheaper aftershave, and something else completely unnameable. 

And maybe some others would think the scent appalling, but it’s the strangeness, the specificity, and yes, the stank— everything that makes Sam him— that makes you love it. Love him. The depth. The difference. 

The pain, and what he chose to do with it. 

Another kiss, this time down your neck. This time, the sigh of relief is his own.

What he chose to change it into. 

“So… any chance sex therapy might be a thing?” He asks grinningly.

“Why don’t we find out, ‘sweet’art’?”

[deoidesign]

Hello I stumbled across your profile and I just say I love your art style! I've gotta ask, how'd your develop it? And do you have any advice for someone who can't decide what they want their art to look like?

Thank you so much!

To be entirely honest, I don't feel like I truly "developed" my style. I feel a lot more like I finally let myself draw it! But I am incredibly deliberate with my work, and I do have clear tendencies and preferences... So I'll do my best to explain how I got to where I am now as an artist.

It's important to remember that "style" is something of a nebulous concept. It changes with you as you grow as a person, and most artists can work in and emulate many art styles! Art really is a form of communication with yourself, and your "style" is a reflection of the tendencies and preferences you have. My art does not look how it looked 5 years ago, and my art will look different 5 years from now too. I've changed, and my art reflects that!

(2012, 2018, 2023; two pieces I remember being incredibly proud of and considered my best work up til that point, and then my most recent piece)

What you need to do, as everyone will tell you, is study the fundamentals (anatomy, perspective, form and structure, lighting and shadow, color, and composition) so you have the proper tools to make the most informed decisions possible about your art, and so you can deliberately break or follow rules as you please for your desired effect. I know it sounds silly to learn rules if you're not gonna be following them anyways, but they help you be much more consistent and intentional! More knowledge is NEVER a bad thing to have!

However, I know it's a bit demoralizing to just be told to study fundamentals. Everyone knows you're supposed to do that, but it takes YEARS to learn, and people want their art to feel how they want it to now (which is very very very normal to want!)

So on that front, I have 2 follow up suggestions that I personally find helpful (of course, everyone is different, so it's not like this is the only way to learn! But, if it resonates with you, it might mean it will work for you too.)

1: Separate study from application

I believe this is beneficial for a few reasons:

If the goal of every piece is learning, it can become frustrating, overwhelming, and boring

It's harder to self critique when there are multiple variables to investigate. I like to study one fundamental at a time

Study (usually) works best with a large quantity of output, whereas application of knowledge (finished pieces) is often more satisfying and effective when you get to take your time

Deliberate practical application of what you've learned in a finished piece helps cement the learning in your mind, and also lets you get satisfying finished pieces with noticeable improvement after a good study session!

I've found that keeping these things separate helps me improve faster and more deliberately, and it takes a lot of the pressure off of both aspects! I'm not worried about my studies looking beautiful, they're just to learn! And I don't feel pressured to critique my finished pieces, cause they're just for fun and to make something pretty. I personally find this helps me have a much healthier relationship with my art.

When studying, copy! Copy things as best as you can, all the time. It gives you something to compare to for self critique (and of course, if you're copying someone else's work and you share the study, ALWAYS give credit, share the original, and say it was for study.) In application, don't copy: reference. Make it yours!

2: Let yourself do the things that feel "easy" or like "cheating"

This one is simpler: nothing in art is easy.

If something feels easy to you, most of the time it's not because it's actually any easier... It's because it's part of your natural tendencies and preferences! This took me forever to realize, but as long as you're actually doing some study, then you're learning. You don't need to learn All The Time. When you're doing the "application" portion, you should let yourself do whatever is actually the most fun and feels easiest! This is where your style will start to come through, and where you get to learn about yourself. Take the pressure off, and have fun!!!

The only cheating in art is theft. If you're not stealing, then it's allowed!

My whole life (and yes, still!) I'd get regular criticism about both my style and my subject matter. You will too. You'll see a thousand different styles, and a hundred different things to admire in each. Your heart will ache that you don't draw like others do.

But art is a form of communication with yourself. It's like your voice, or your accent; just something that's a part of you! It can be fun to mimic others', but when you sit to have a conversation you speak naturally. (I know some people want to and do change their voice, but this is a metaphor and metaphors aren't perfect)

Don't stress so much about what you want your art to look like, especially if you're not sure. There's a lot of value to be had in constant experimentation, I think it'd be rather boring to only draw one style the rest of my life. What I draw is what I want to see, right now, for who I am now! It's a part of me and comes naturally, if I let it!

I hope this helps!

[dragonroilz]

Hey there! I've come across your art ever since I got into Risk of Rain 2 (better late than never, I've been sleeping on this game for years, jesus), and I'm enamoured with it, to say the least. Is there any advice you could perhaps give for an aspiring artist?

you're getting an essay whether you like it or not.

tl;dr of it if you dont want to read

- learn how to take critique

- dont skip fundamentals

- tracing is okay*

- be mindful when drawing

- you wont see good results for a long time

ok firstly, glad you like my art! i try my best on pretty much everything i make so the compliment is greatly appreciated!!

secondly, you have NO clue how much i love yapping about how to draw. im not an expert on how-to-draw-ology but i like to think i know enough to help other people not swing in the dark when it comes to getting better.

learning how to take criticism is THE most important part. not getting butthurt or at least listening to peoples critiques when they mean well is critical to improvement because its specialized advice for you. you have no clue how many young and/or new artists have gotten mad at me for giving critique when they specifically asked me for it. if youre looking to improve you gotta bite that bullet. not all criticism is valid(dont listen to people who are just tryna make you upset), but good and valid criticism can come from anyone. dont unvalidate someone's critique just because theyre not an artist or "not as good" as you. try and get as much feedback as you can and move onto the next piece instead of fixing something to perfection. you will get obsessed in a very destructive way.

learning fundamentals is another step to getting better. that means actually learning perspective, hands, anatomy, and all of the other stuff people hate drawing. its like lifting weights. most people dont like it but if you want to get stronger you need to put in the time to do the painful stuff.

chris christodoulou(ror's composer) actually made a similar comment about the topic of improvement in his field that was along the lines of "if you want to write music, stop playing video games and read a book". he got a lot of shit for saying that but honestly its true.

you need to treat art as a discipline if you want to get better at it. draw as much as you can for as long as you can before it becomes a health hazard. when im not resting i tend to draw at least three hours a day, not counting the 3 to 6 hours additional hours a day i draw during college. obviously a beginner doesn't need to draw that much but drawing daily is a good start.

if you want resources on where to look for fundamentals, Sinixdesign and Ethan Becker were who I turned to for advice that is relevant to the industry. There's definitely others out there but I tend to do more self studying so i don't know the more recent stuff.

something that they'll bring up is that tracing isn't bad AS LONG AS YOU DONT POST IT AND CLAIM IT AS YOUR OWN. it's a good way to see how other people deal with stylization, but its absolutely not okay to post that stuff online. treat it like how traditional painters do master studies. its for your own education, not clout. and you shouldn't be drawing for clout anyway.

last but not least, draw what you love and you'll always love drawing. dont be afraid to hyperfixate and lose interest in things. it will help you continue your art journey. a lot of people in my art school have little to no motivation to draw outside of college because they have no interest in drawing outside of assigned work, which is not a great relationship to have with art if you want to pursue it in the long run. draw what you want to draw when the motivation hits you. if that motivation is risk of rain? draw it. if it's leg muscles then fuck yeah draw that too.

you can stick fundamental practice into your casual art by being mindful of what you are drawing. that can be done by asking questions about what's going on to further the progress of your art. its kind of hard to explain in text, but its basically just keeping in mind how your lines influence the piece.

in the beginning youre going to have ideas and none of them are going to translate to paper. its going to take years before anything will ever compare to whats in your brain and thats just the sucky part. ive been drawing seriously for about 5 or 6 years and theres still a ton of shit i do NOT wanna touch but i have to if i want to improve.

we're all sisyphus pushing that goddamn stupidass boulder and the only thing we can do is acknowledge how far we've come while still knowing that there's more work to be done. but thats kind of the shit that i live for.

[keelifallen]

uhm can i ask how you got so good at character likeness? as in how do u practise/what steps do you take?

Omg?! Thank you!!! I’m still asking other people for the same advice, I don’t know how I’m on the other side of this question.

My explanation might not answer ur question properly, or even be comprehensible but I’ll do my best

Learning about your subject is the best way to understand how to draw it. So here some thoughts on how to do that

Blur your eyes when looking at your reference. What things that pop out the most?

Study different angles of their face

What makes them unique to others?

Look at different expressions they make

Is there a way they usually present themselves?

It’s easier if you know how to draw anatomically correct, or even just believable characters. And by that, I don’t mean muscles and bones. I mean placement and perspective.

But everybody starts somewhere. If you don’t know how to do that it’s ok. I didn’t know jack squat when I started, and I’ve learned a lot since then.

For starters, everyone has different strengths and weaknesses, so what applies to me may not apply to you. Seeing as I don’t know where ur at, I can’t help you with specifics

how do i practice?

Answer: Honestly I don’t. Either that, or all my work is practice. If I’m not feeling super involved, but still want to draw I’ll do “warmups” but it’s just me doing low effort work.

what steps do I take?

I have good Pinterest algorithm, so when I like a character, their pictures will flood my feed. When I see an image that looks, for a lack of a better word “catchy” I’ll screenshot it.

It usually has a well defined light source shadows lines etc. and I don’t even have to draw it (I try to though) but even if I just look at it for a while, I can visually break it down to simple shapes/shadows.

That helps me to understand the picture for what it actually is, and not what I think it looks like. 5 times out of 10, I do end up drawing what I screenshot. But I don’t always post it. Sometimes it turns out bad, sometimes I just don’t feel like completing it. And that’s fine :) having fun is the best motivation to keep going, and getting better.

When I do post art, it can vary from a cartoonish line art, to ¿almost? Realistic. But in both situations I’m trying to simplify my subject into the most simple form.

This isn’t a great example but you get the idea

For my line art, I:

keep the shapes, basic, big and blocky. Just so I have an idea of where everything is. if things get too confusing, you can honestly just make a silhouette and go from there. REMEMBER TO KEEP IS SIMPLE, DO NOT GET CAUGHT IN THE DETAILS you can do that later

Once you’re done with the VERY LARGE SHAPES, then map out the features. Let it look ugly cuz heaven knows it will be. And that’s ok too. You just gotta get it down.

Then focus on perspective. Like if his head is facing right, the outside corner of his eye will look round instead of sharp. And in his nose will be touching/covering part of his eye

Then, lastly, and most importantly look at the shadows. Your lines on the line art will look heaviest where the shadow is the darkest 

And remember, the brain will fill in information, so just focus on the shadows. Look at kaz’s hair. I have a couple triangles to show the gaps. I hardly even touched the top. I only drew the bottom of his nose, but you know the whole nose is there

+Never underestimate the power of multiple references.

OH!!! I’m revising my previous statement, this is the most important rule. The non-conventional features are what make or break your character. Don’t try to avoid them, make them work with your subject.

If you don’t draw them, your style might turn out looking like the “anime” style new artist try to avoid.

And if your wanting to go more realistic there are no lines. The only way to tell anything apart is value.

Not saying this is realistic, but all the “lines” are actually just value contrasting between shadow and highlights. So generally the only things that should look dark have the most depth.

And then there’s the whole deal with expressions. They have a huge part to play in character likeness. If you know how a face functions, you can add so much nuance to your art. But I’m just starting to learn that so I can’t help you yet.

Any way GOOD LUCK!!!! GO FORTH AND DRAW

[sharonisthebettercarter]

Hai.

How do you measure your top and bottoms? I will likely greatly regret asking.

oh HIIII @diamonddung~<3<3<3!

why yes. yes you will<3 i never did get that answer on fiona's nick valentine % <3 tho you may need to amend billy's % lmao<3<3<3

as a bonafide too queer to function lunatic and multishipper who *hates* catty supremacist false dichotomy fandom bullshit because of all the unnecessary problems it causes (you know me, lmao, bit of another psa in here i guess given multiship tags and yes, i am still upset about the thing with the artist)? ya know i'm a little out there and not quite with the 'in' crowd of the chunk of cis het women who take party~ in the shipping world~<3 no shade, but it does tend to change one's perspective. i do feel there's lots of shipping discourse that may miss the mark/certain character elements in favor of...

well, normally just plain ol' over-sexualization from some horny ass people lfmao, (homie's scene with doppelhomie is a good example, the trauma presented on his face was ignored in favor of the selfcest fantasy, but in antony starr's words, homie wasn't interested, he was traumatized :((() but also unfortunately... echhh i gotta say it!

hetero-normalizing gay ships and then treating the kink presentation like a goddamn religion... the amount of times i have those 'are the straights okay???' moments are just...

LMAO, all in good fun of course<3 let's not kink shame.

it's fine to have different kinks and discourse, disagreements over how you view characters or what you like, even be enthusiastic with your own views and shout them out to the heavens~! it's *NOT* fine to try and police, dehumanize, or discourage others from enjoying what they like just because it's *different* from you and they exist in a *shared* space.

friendly important reminder to *ship and let ship*, *art and let art* however that may be. even if i don't like the way a ship is presented or voice how *i* personally feel about it, i would *never* try to or even have the gall to tell someone *no, you can't do that, my way or the highway*

It does NOT *exclude* you to *include* others. It costs nothing to be *nice* or simply DNI. This is NOT a dichotomy. Fandoms do NOT need additional toxicity and bullying over something so *trivial* as fictional bullshit. EVER.

"i don't like bullies... i don't care where they're from." ;)

anywho~<3 i love top/bottom exploration because i have a very bad BAD~<3 dominance kink, but switching definitely gets the most downplaying/ignoring with a heavy focus on... mmm, i suppose often, more superficial elements half the time and i'll admit some of mine def are~ lmao nose size. and i don't say that to dissuade any writers, young or old. i say it to *encourage* moar deep diving<3<3<3 and even questioning the way you might think/listening to new perspectives~<3!

we all start somewhere and have times of exploration/learning~<3 learning moar and challenging yourself? that's a *good* thing<3<3<3 but sadly, not always valued (it should be!) :(

but apart from canon dynamices/character depth/personality to the best of my ability/understanding? the long answer is ANAL GAPE~<3

among other things, i'm sure that makes no sense whatsoever<3 because some other factors do get thrown in. intelligence because i'm a morosexual and LOVE big dumb tops<3<3<3, practicality super anuses are a death trap to not be played with however super phalli~, and weirdly... nose size. i'm not kidding!

yeah i know some idiot out there told me nose size is apparently related to phallus size and testosterone levels OH WAIT-- but oddly enough...? i think there may be some kinda instinct there LOL, because it seemed to registered in my brain the same way i registered my top/bottoms for the most part, even *before* learning that...

and i *swear*... i'll come back to this shit cause it's hilarious, but even in fanart, you'll see many artists subconsciously/purposefully give the guy they want to 'top' a bigger nose... even if he has a smaller one. ;)))))))))))))))))

BUTT ANAL GAPE! WHAT IS IT!?

not the nasty version ya nasties~<3

it basically boils down to... how big of an ASSHOLE is this asshole... just wide do those booty cheeks spread with the level a disrespect-- how *badly* does he *need* a good railing and prostate MMPH~<3<3<3! or even spanking~<3 how much of a control freak is he? how stubborn~? how far do those bitchy manipulative little devil vibes go~<3<3<3 what does he *want*? really want. figurative dick energy? is he compensating for something? is he in need of, holdin' out for a hero~<3<3<3? how so? how far from the goal of expressing positive masculinity are we and why? just how toxic we talkin~? i'm slippin' under<3

what is the outward presentation being given vs. the one he gives privately/with those he loves? there's a pretty big difference sometimes and it can say a lot. naturally gentle doms like kal-el or steve rogers i see get mislabeled for that old thing, 'mistaking kindness for weakness', so to speak. but as a general rule, they say that in the bedroom~ people actually tend to give the opposite of what they present in their day to day lives/'those with the most control of their lives are secretly the most submissive' or something along those lines, and it makes sense that things would manifest that way when you think about it. (ironically learned about this *after* learning my kinks)

a good example would be billy butcher, who gives the outward presentation of being rough and ragged and 'in control' wannabe logan, but is extremely soft, caring and submissive with those he loves<3 contrast with homelander who has had ZERO control over his own life from day one and *really* likes it rough when he gets the chance and--

boi lemme tell ya hwat--

it's a number of things, lmao, and the calculations in my head are automatic and will not make sense in numbers. so.

i don't think i need to explain much on anal gape when it comes to scott summers, lex luthor, bruce wayne, tony stark, and especially... *especially* billy butcher.

but lets not forget the added morosexual aspect~ which *can* even override anal gape! so let's go over what every one a my tagged ship bottoms might be saying to their big dumb idiot animal tops being DUMB<3<3<3

scott: *glares violently*

lex: *glares in pure bitch trying to hide the horny*

bucky: steve... what the fuck.

tony: *hard eye rolling and harder cuddling*

bruce: . . .

charles: ERIK!?

billy: *as he takes off his clothes* why... are you a brainless cunt?

pay no mind to homie's indignant huffing with a side of horny in response (somebody find me that goddamn meme lmao<3), and brucie might still be processing clark's stupidity lol<3

it's funny tho, cause i have competency kink too~<3 and i love me a good boi team up/learnin' as we go~<3<3<3

practicality? pretty self explanatory... way back when... dc gave us detail on the urinals of the justice league and pretty much confirmed man of steel, woman of kleenex (my favorite<3). i could not make this shit up-- (thanks btw dd for sending me this shit now i HAVE to share it)

so. given that we know superman's piss stream is strong enough to *dent* reinforced titanium steel when *weakened*--.

do i really have to say much about his sphincter? it makes diamonds, it makes fucking diamonds, do not stick anything up there unless you wanna lose it forever.

from a practical sense, i never like making it *easy* for clark~<3 to bone someone lmao, it's just too fun<3<3<3 (blue k is always an option of course) but also... he can vibrate it (along with his fingers and tongue), he has infinite stamina. and he has no refractory period... ;)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

homelander is much the same, maybe with an added *lack* of control and def a bit moar scary leik, might deliberately murder you scary but STILL--

you could not fucking *PAY* me to miss a goddamn chance for superweiner--

not sure i wanna think about what martian manhunter has... but i'd still let him do whatever to me, honestly<3 he'd be the BEST gentle dom i *swear*. like he'd literally check in and politely ask on you instead of reading your mind and check for any discomfort and be SO SWEET and tender and caring, making sure you're okay the whole time and just genuinely give you an experience you're never gonna forget leik<3<3<3 J'ONN~<3! HHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH~<3<3<3

oops... ignore that--

and as for nose size~<3?

well~<3 OBVIOUSLY i want my bottoms to be getting the best they can<3 i SPOIL the shit out of them! of course we NEED the guy with the bigger dong nose to top, they should be havin' a grand ol' time~!

but back to that artist thing and genuinely, genuinely amazing. it's almost like a guarantee and i don't even know if people are aware of doing it, but it is always so hilarious and adorable to me. *especially* with billy butcher, the star of the anal gape show<3<3<3

"they just can't get my nose right!"

and of course no shade/disrespect to the actor (his nose is so goddamn cute<3<3<3 and i love it<3) or any other actors, or artists, but even *becca* (her nose is also cute and i love it~<3) had a bigger nose than him. seriously. homie's nose is fiiiiine~<3 but also actually bigger and longer. and it's just... ALMOST *guaranteed*. anyone who sees billy as a 'top' while drawing him *automatically* gives him the bigger/longer nose... and it just blows my mind how amazingly consistent that seems to be LOL (apparently like the study done on noses and weiners!)

what does that say about us, i wonder...?? (no seriously, i really wonder<3) adamant denial~<3 maybe? ;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

billy boo does have the biggest eyes tho~<3<3<3

and apparently, did look it up... but it works inversely with bmi?? which... 100000% explains willem dafoe<3<3<3

it ALSO pretty much... confirms show homelander as their very own willem dafoe/norman osborn... and i never thought i'd have it THIS down bad for osborn but i can't with the things that does to me-- I'VE BEEN CONVERTED!! like the boi *already* is confimed *HUGE* canonically. *by BILLY* in the comic!

but by the gods--

down to the lovely eyes, scary smile, and psychosis. so it is that history repeats... hello mad daddy~<3

god i need to watch dafoe's spooderman again<3

I guess billy boo is now confirmed to be actually *compensating* for SOOOOOO much--

welp. i guess this explains why billy called himself an 'alpha male' unironically which i will never let him live down~<3 he already has the biggest gape i have EVER seen on a character. EVER. like. this boi. has enough gape to fit a goddamn planet up his ass. let's be generous and say that show boi billy is just at moon level. but it is still just. HUGE. which i guess makes homie just the perfect match for him given the willem dafoe vibes--

and honestly... it's beautiful<3

and the best part about billy is just how *self aware* he is of this. he postures to high hell and plays the part his dad would want him to, but he knows it's a goddamn problem, *addiction*, *hates* it, and spends his life looking for *solutions* and *self punishment*...

that's homie baby~<3

billy considered becca his *cure* (if the clear cut submissive role he took with her wasn't enough<3<3<3 SO CUTE<3<3<3) but *homelander* is the *replacement*. his *last resort*. cut my life into pieces--NOOOOO--

goddammit billy boo, i *really* do feel for you, i do... but lemme translate what billy butcher is *actually* saying in both the show and comic in going after homelander. cause lemme tell ya it ain't just revenge...

*destroy me, eviscerate me. because i am afraid of what i will do if you can't stop me. and because you took away the one who could save me, you owe me this and i will take it if need be.*

because there's *one* thing that billy fears, and he's had the ability to say it, even feel it... beaten out of him. but he almost always fully goes into battle *not* intending to come out of it. he *wants* to die and he hates himself a whole lot... and he knows. it's the thing his father gave him, the sickness he passed on that billy never wanted but can't control. but this would also be why he gives no fucks about 'collateral'.

even if by force or violence, billy wants to fail, he wants to be held down, he *wants* to lose, he wants to get knocked back down until he can't get back up anymore. he sure as hell isn't gonna make it easy for anyone, that's not in his nature, but he knows what happens if he can keep going.

billy knows he's a monster, but he is preconditioned to never control it. he sees the kindred monster in homelander, preconditioned to be *under control* but slipping through and vying to get loose... but homelander, despite everything *still* has control... billy wants to see it break, he *needs* it.

ugh~<3<3<3 yes, i know i am redundant with this shit<3 but it's just SO poetic<3<3<3 i CANNOT--

even season 3 evidenced their dynamic and dug in perfectly. scorched urf? the candle's fuckin' lit. herogasm? 3 on 1. ONLY A BRUISE--. billy, bloody smile~ comes back for more? billy gets his ass kicked by the dad on his own and only *maeve* gets anything done to homelander... who doesn't want to kill her, so he holds back even if she won't.

"i respect what you are even if you don't--."

got. damn...

but homie? he's the last lifeline, and he's tied to *both* sides of billy. and a people pleaser<3<3<3! who's also too dumb to get what's going on with billy, not that he'd care if he did... who's at the same time caught and curious by billy's obsession and the mirror between them<3

homie wants and knows how to please people... not just because he's been trained for it or a clear cut service top with dark~<3 elements<3<3<3 or because he wants the feeling he gets from their approval/admiration. very typical of a narcissist lmao, but also because of the added vulnerability that he is easily manipulated/exploited by the women in his life, not realizing he's a victim or being groomed/manipulated.

even the uh... *moment* he had with stillwell, she exploits his trauma and desire for a mother so directly that he just totally loses it and profusely appologizes. he's aware of how to *please* someone if ya get me~<3 ;))))))) (by the apology given at all) but he's *not* aware that she is abusing/exploiting his trauma in this way *because he lacks empathy for himself/has never genuinely had it given without some sort of exploitive exchange*, sort of opposite of billy in this sense too. poor dumb baby~<3!

what's really extra hilarious and ironic is that stormfront is pretty much what a lady billy would be but nowhere near as good as manipulating as him

but all homelander has ever known is the *examples* set before him by vought. and it's... quite obviously not a good one... :(((((((((((((((((( but he's *not* aware. billy is much the same, but he *is* aware. hence the deep buried cravings to be *free* vs. fucking approval ratings in homie, and *controlled* vs. lack of self control in billy... goddammit the fucking POETRY<3<3<3

so? it's just more of the same old same old. and homie loves, LOVES not having to hold back once he gets a taste for it... with *stormfront* no less... but *also* from billy in a different sense and now... beyond. still ADORE how he went flaccid on the nazi rhetoric lmao even this boi has his limits<3--

"let's light this candle--"

it's already fucking lit--

... you know full well how excited i get, lmao<3 and ya DID ask<3<3<3 XD

everyone else (to homelander): don't be what they made you... please for the love of fucking gawd, PLEASE--

billy: be what they fucking made you motherfucker, i wanna fuck FIGHT and see everything destroyed. i'll wait.

stormfront: be what we fucking made you, i wanna fuck and see everything not us destroyed. i won't wait.

but the short answer? i go by % of willem dafoe energy, the *CORRECT* answer is WILLEM DAFOE<3<3<3 (not to be confused with norman osborn... unless willem dafoe<3) DUH~!

WOOO-- goddamn... and i ain't even done yet. i spend WAY too much time obsessing over these fuckers, i SWEAR.

and ALSO the ladies~<3 are tops. all of them. ALL OF THEM. NO EXCEPTIONS-- lmao, KIDDING... maybe<3 (i might do another one going over mah lady~<3 ships<3<3<3 cause this got long... and i did get carried away with butchy and homie... of course i did. but you know how i love them<3<3<3)

[lorenfangor]

I heard that #40 was super homophobic :/ so I skipped it. But now your fic is making me want to give it a try. How problematic is it? Are the characters worth it?

Okay.

Okay.

Let’s talk about #40.

The plot of The Other (a Marco POV) is that Marco sees an Andalite on a video tape sent in to some Unsolved Mysteries-esque TV show, and he assumes it’s Ax and hauls ass to save him from being captured. Ax, being Ax, has videotaped the show, and they pull it up and Tobias uses his hawk eyes to figure out that it’s not Ax, it’s another Andalite - one without a tailblade. Ax is appalled at the presence of this vecol (an Andalite word for a disabled person) and we find out that he and others of his species have deep ingrained prejudices against at least some kinds of disabled people.

Despite this, Marco and Ax go looking for the Andalite in question because he’s been spotted by national TV, and they meet a second one, named Gafinilan-Estrif-Valad. The vecol is Mertil-Iscar-Elmand, a former fighter pilot with a reputation and Gafinilan’s coded-gay life partner. The two of them have been on Earth since book 1; they crashed their fighters on the planet and have been trapped there thanks to the GalaxyTree going down. Gafinilan has adopted a human cover, a physics professor, and they’ve been living in secret ever since.

Thanks to that tape, Mertil has been captured by Visser Three, and he’s not morph-capable so he can’t escape. Gafinilan wants to trade the leader of the “Andalite Bandits” to the Yeerks to get his boyfriend back; he can’t fight to free Mertil because he’s terminally ill with a genetic disorder that will eventually kill him, and (it’s implied that) the Yeerks aren’t interested in disabled hosts, even disabled Andalite ones. Despite Ax’s ableism, the Animorphs agree to work with Gafinilan and free Mertil, and they’re successful. Marco ends the book talking about how there are all kinds of prejudices you’ll have to face and boxes that people will put you in, and you can’t necessarily escape them even if they’re reductive and inaccurate, but you can still live your life with pride.

So now that I’ve explained the plot, I’m gonna come out the gate saying that I love this book. I love it wholeheartedly, I love Marco’s narration, I love Ax having to deal with Andalite society’s ableism, I love these characters, and as a disabled lesbian I don’t find these disabled gays to be inherently Bad Rep.

that’s of course just my opinion and it doesn’t overshadow other issues that people might have? but at the same time, I don’t like the seemingly-common narrative that this book is all bad all the time, and I want to offer up a different read.To that end, I’m going to go point by point through some of the criticisms and common complaints that I’ve seen across the fandom over the years.

“Mertil and Gafinilan were put on a bus after one appearance because they were gay!”

this is one I’m going to have to disagree with hardcore. I talked about this yesterday, but in Animorphs there are a lot of characters or ideas that only get introduced once or twice and then get written off or dropped - in order off the top of my head, #11 (the Amazon trip), #16 (Fenestre and his cannibalism), #17 (the oatmeal), #18 (the hint of Yeerks doing genetic experiments in the hospital basement), #24/#39/#42 (the Helmacrons’ ability to detect morphing tech), #25 (the Venber), #28 (experiments with limiting brain function through drugs), #34 (the Hork-Bajir homeworld being retaken, the Ixcila procedure), #36 (the Nartec), #41 (Jake’s Bad Future Dream), and #44 (the Aboriginal people Cassie meets in Australia) all feature things that either seem to exist just for the sake of having a particular trope explored Animorphs-style or to feature an idea for One Single Book.

This is a series that’s episodic and has a very limited overall story arc because of how children’s literature in the 90s was structured - these books are closer to The Saddle Club, Sweet Valley High, Animal Ark, or The Baby-Sitters’ Club than they are to Harry Potter or A Series of Unfortunate Events. Mertil and Gafinilan don’t get to be in more than one book because they’re not established in the main cast or the supporting cast, I don’t think that it’s solely got anything to do with their being gay.

“Gafinilan has AIDS, this is a book about AIDS, and that’s homophobic!”

Okay, this is… hard. First, yes, Gafinilan does have a terminal illness. Yes, Gafinilan is gay. No, Soola’s Disease is not AIDS.

I have two responses to this, and I’ll attack them in order of their occurrence in my thought. First, there’s coded AIDS diseases all over genre fiction, especially genre fiction from that era, because the AIDS epidemic made a massive impact on public life and fundamentally changed both how the public perceived illness and queerness and how queer people themselves experienced it. I was too young to live through it, but my dad’s college roommate was out, and my dad himself has a lot of friends who he just ceases to talk about if the conversation gets past 1986 or so - this was devastating and it got examined in art for more reasons than “gay people all have AIDS”, and I dislike the implication that the only reason it could ever appear was as a tired stereotype or a message that Being Queer Means Death. Gafinilan is kind, fond of flowers, and fond of children - he’s multifaceted, and he’s got a terminal illness. Those kinds of people really exist, and they aren’t Bad Rep.

Second off, Soola’s Disease? Really isn’t AIDS. It’s a congenital genetic illness that develops over time, cannot be transmitted, and does not carry a serious stigma the way AIDS did. Gafinilan also has access to a cure - he could become a nothlit and no longer be afflicted by it, even if it’s considered somewhat dishonorable to go nothlit to escape that way. That’s not AIDS, and in fact at no point in my read and rereads did I assume that his having a terminal illness was supposed to be a commentary on homosexuality until I found out that other people were assuming it.

“Mertil losing his tail means he’s lost his masculinity, and that’s bad because he’s gay! That’s homophobic!”

so this is another one I’ve gotta hardcore disagree with, because while Mertil is one of two Very Obviously Queer Characters, he’s not the only character who loses something fundamental about himself, or even loses access to sexual and/or romantic capability in ways he was familiar with.

Tobias and Arbron both get ripped out of their ordinary normal lives by going nothlit in bad situations, and while they both wind up finding fulfillment and freedom despite that, it’s still traumatic, even more for Arbron I’d say than for Tobias. And on a psychological level, none of the main cast is left unmarked or free of trauma or free of deep change thanks to the bad things that have happened to them - they’re no less fundamentally altered than Mertil, even if it’s mental rather than physical. And yes, tail loss is equated with castration or emasculation, but that doesn’t automatically mean Mertil suffering it is tied to his homosexuality and therefore the takeaway we’re intended to have is “Being gay is tragic and makes you less of a man”. This is a series where bad shit happens to everyone, and enduring losses that take away things central to one’s self-conception or identity or body is just part of the story.

Also, frankly? Plenty of IRL disabled people have to grapple with a loss of sexual function, and again, they’re not Bad Rep just because they’re messy.

“Andalite society is confusingly written in this book, and the disability aspects are clearly just a coverup for the gay stuff!”

Andalite society is canonically sexist, a bit exceptionalist and prejudiced in their own favor, and pretty contradictory and often challenged internally on its own norms. In essence, it’s a pretty ordinary society, and they’re really realistic as sci-fi races go. It makes sense from that perspective that Andalites would tolerate scarring or a lost stalk eye or a lost skull eye, but not tolerate serious injuries that significantly impact your perceived quality of life. Ableism is like that - it’s not one-size-fits-all. I look at Ax’s reactions and I see a lot of my own family and friends’ behaviors - this vibes with my understanding of prejudice, you know?

“Mertil and Gafinilan have a tragic ending, which means the story is saying that being gay dooms you to tragedy!”

Mertil and Gafinilan have the best possible ending that they could ask for? They are victims of the war, they are suffering because of the war, they get the same cocktail of trauma and damage that every other soldier gets. But unlike Jake and Tobias and Marco, unlike Elfangor, unlike Aximili? Their ending comes in peace, in their own home. Gafinilan isn’t dying alone, he’s got the love of his life with him. Mertil isn’t going to be as isolated anymore, he’s got Marco for a friend. Animorphs is a tragedy, it’s not a happy story, it’s not something that guarantees a beautiful sunshine-and-roses ending for everyone, and I love tragedy, and so I will fight for this story. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it deserved better. But it’s not less meaningful just because it’s sad. Nobody is entitled to anything in this book, and it’s just as true for these two as it is for anyone else.

“It’s not cool that the only canonically gay characters in this series don’t get to be happy and trauma-free and unblemished Good Rep!”

This is one I can kind of understand, and I’ll give some ground to it, because it is sucky. The only thing I’ll say is that I stand by my argument that nothing that happens to Mertil and Gafinilan is unusual compared to what happens to the rest of the cast, and that their ending is way happier than Rachel and Tobias’s, or Jake and Cassie’s. But it’s a legitimate point of frustration, and the one argument I’ll say I agree has validity.

(Though, I also want to point out that I think there are plenty of equally queercoded characters in the story who aren’t Mertil and Gafinilan - Tobias, Rachel, Cassie, and Marco all get at least one or two moments that signal to me that they’re potentially LGBT+, not to mention Mr. Tidwell and Illim in #29 and their long-term domestic partnership. There’s no reason to assume that the only queer people here are those two aliens when Marco’s descriptions of Jake exist.)

“Marco uses slurs and reduces Gafinilan’s whole identity to his illness!”

Technically, yes, this is true, except putting it that way strips the whole passage of its context. Marco is discussing the boxes society puts you into, the ones you don’t have a choice about facing or escaping. He’s talking about negative stereotypes and reductive generalizations, he’s referring to them as bad things that you get inflicted upon you by an outside world or by friends who don’t know the whole story or the real you. The slurs he uses are real slurs that get thrown at people still, and they’re not okay, and the point is that they’re not okay but assholes are going to call you by them anyway. He ends by saying “you just have to learn to live with it”, and since this is coming from a fifteen-year-old Latino kid who we know is picked on by bullies for all sorts of reasons and who faces racism and homophobia? He knows what he’s talking about. He’s bitter about what’s been said and done, he’s not stating it like it’s a good thing.

Yes, absolutely, this speech is a product of its time, but it’s a product of its time that speaks of defiance and says “We aren’t what we’re said to be,” and in the year this was published? That’s a good message.

tl;dr The Other is good, actually, and Mertil and Gafinilan are incredible characters who deserve all the love they could possibly get.

[omiscurls]

Heyhey! I couldn’t find your rules, so idk if this is allowed or not, and if it isn’t feel free to ignore this, but may I request Childe with a reader who has depression? Thank you

tough

a/n: hi!! sorry for that, the rules are added by now, i chose not to describe depression itself, because it looks different on everyone, and you may not relate to what applies to me, but i'm hoping you'll find this enjoyable instead!!

plot: character helping the reader out of a breakdown, or a bad headspace

contains: tartaglia, kaeya

warnings: bad copying mechanisms, low mental place, nothing too serious mentioned

tartaglia

now, he's a man of action less than words, even though he's good with those, too

and to add to that, he's also a very perceptive person - if some negative vibe lingers on you for too long, he'll notice right away

however, relying on his experience, he opts to give you space to figure it out on your own, first, he wouldn't like to be making a huge deal of something that was just a worse couple of days

it's when you don't show up at your usual dinner spot, that he gets a little tingle in his brain, telling him to not dismiss it this time.

and so, he makes his way over to your place.

"ya there?" you hear on the other side of the door, followed by urgent knocking, sort of breaking you out of a trance, but you can't find it in you to go and answer it. he'll go away, you think, even better. your apartment is messy, you're messy, too, and it's not the right time to be receiving visitors. so you stay quiet.

"you do know i know you're in there, right?" he speaks up again "the blinds would be down if you weren't"

come in, you want to shout, and although no voice leaves your throat, soon the door opens anyway.

"hey, what's up, you weren't on the- oh." he stops in his tracks in the middle of the corridor, and you're already mentally prepared to a snarky remark about your sorroundings, but the only thing he says is a lighthearted "why're you sitting on the floor?"

the first thing he thinks about is to level with you, so he plops himself down right beside you, and you bet it looks funny - you in yesterday's clothes, in a big, probably smelly, mess, and then a harbinger in full military outfit right beside you.

"i-" you try to say, but your throat seems too dry and worn out, so you opt for a whisper "look at his place"

he indeed does, hinting the small note of desperation in your voice.

"what about it?"

"it's a mess!" you sigh, covering your face with your hands, out of both embarrassment, and fatigue. you take a big breath before continuing "so i wanted to clean it up, i even brought all the... all the things, but it's so much stuff to do, and i'm tired, and- and i don't know!" you choose to stop as not to snap right then and there. "i can't even do my shitty chores right like an adult" you mumble, massaging your temples.

"and is sitting on the floor helping?" he simply asks, and for a second, you're almost mad at him for not being more... cooey and fuss over you a bit more. he sounds cold.

"what are you-"

"really, is it helping?" he repeats "because from how i see it, every little thing would seem bigger if you looked at it from this angle. come on" he nudges you before standing up, and offering a hand to lift you up. you, however, shake your head.

"i really can't deal with it today, childe, i'm sorry"

"just stand up" he pleas, and the second you take his hand, he helps you up in less than a second. when you're on his level again, he sneaks both his arms on the sides of your waist, and sort of sways around a little, before speaking again. "what if, what if we do it little by little? look, we'll start over there" he puts his hand on top of yours, and lifts your arm to point to the full sink along with his. "and that'd be it for today! and then tomorrow... actually, let's not make plans. we'll just pick something tomorrow, and do it then. does the sink sound like a lot to do?" he asks.

"do you want me to be honest, or do you want me to say no" you mutter, earning the heartiest and brightest laughter you've heard in days from him.

"always honest. but come on, i'll help." he rolls you out of his embrace, causing you to feel a sudden wave of cold, it was comfortable back there, you think.

however, as he works through the dishes with you, the pile does seem to lessen, and doesn't rule over your kitchen anymore. every time he hands you a plate to dry, he smiles as wide as he can, and it doesn't seem to bother him at all when you don't smile back.

"remember" he starts again, after a while of comfortable silence. he looks ridiculous, doing the kitchen duties in an outfit designed mostly to look presentable and slay enemies in it, but the look on his face is dead set. "the first lesson you've gotta learn before going off to battle something, is that the best defense is always, always to fight back. and if you don't think you can manage that, well, that's why nobody ever battles alone. it's common sense to have someone watching your back. and as for you, not only are you a great warrior yourself, but you've also got the best second-in-command willing to help you out. don't forget that."

kaeya

as for him, he's also perceptive and empathic, but the difference between him and tartaglia is that he does believe people have the right to figure some things out on their own, he's a firm believer in the magic of secrets

that's probably because he himself doesn't like to share too much about his deeply personal feelings

so he'd obviously see some wave of difficult emotions coming your way, but would he immediately start worrying? probably not

the guy doesn't have healthy copying mechanisms himself, don't think he expects those of others

every other night the two of you meet up at the tavern, kaeya always ordering wine, you asking the bartender for whatever was in store today, but it's never anything alcoholic.

and just like nearly always, you're seated at angel's share, him noticing you're not particularly in the mood for talking, and choosing to entertain you with as many stories of the day that went by as he can remember.

the waiter interrupts him, asking if your minds are already made up regarding the drink. now, kaeya always has you picking first, but since he sees you're still analyzing the card (as if you expected to find anything new), he goes first with a drink he knows charles makes really strong.

to his surprise, when it comes to you, you just mumble "i'll have the same he had"

before the waiter has a chance of writing that down, kaeya tells him that actually, you're gonna need a minute or two more, and to erase the order you've both put in.

as he walks away, the calvary captain's eyes pierce through yours.

"that's a pretty nasty drink you wanted there" he starts, feeling he can't let you handle your mess this time, preparing to dig a little deeper into what's on your mind.

you shrug your shoulders.

"hey" he speaks up a little firmer, hand moving to cover yours, and even though they twitch as to retreat from his grip, you let it be. "tell me what's up."

"nothing's <up>" you accentuate. "can't i even have a drink now?"

"obviously you can" he nods "as long as i know you're trying it just for the taste, and not for the strong kick it's gonna offer, cause that's a dangerous path that only leads to nasty places." concern shines through his gaze, and an encouraging smile is wandering somewhere in his expression, however his lips are still pressed into a tight line, the same he forms when he's either fighting or arguing.

you stay silent for a good long while, before sighing.

"maybe i want the kick. good, or bad, maybe i want to feel... something."

the sentence sounds all too familiar, as he shakes his head and takes your hand, leading you towards the exit.

"what're you-"

"you're obviously not in the right state to be in a bar, of all places" he states almost coldly "so i'm getting you somewhere safer."

the two of you leave the bar, and walk out into the cold of mondstadt's street, covered in the darkness of the night. you walk past him, not leveling up to him, just tagging along to whatever he's going.

it comes as a surprise, that you're neither headed for your apartment, nor his, nor the knights' headquarters. he's guiding you in an unknown direction, until you reach a dead end.

he clims up a small building, offering you a hand and shaking off your confused expressions and questions. "you'll see" he says. the two of you walk from roof to roof, and countless times you tell him it's ridiculous, but then, he jumps onto the city's wall, helping you out with two hands this time, sitting you down right next to him on the stone surface of the wall. it's a little wet from the night's humidity, and cold, and probably dirty too, but the moon shines right at you, and from this perspective, you see thousands of lights in houses, taverns and shops, from the bottom up to the cathedral.

going up from that, a calm and peaceful lake paints the landscape blue on the left, and even from up here, you see a sea of lampgrasses shining through the leaves of wolvendom forest. if you squint, lights are still on in dawn winery, and the path to liyue and all the other lands swirls around near diluc's house. there's so much you can see, even if the night limits your vision.

"i like to come here when i need to gain some perspective over what is happening in my life right now" kaeya speaks really softly and quietly, bordering on a whisper. "it's a beautiful view, even someone as insensitive to art as i am can see that, but other than that... it's huge. and even though it is, it's also alive. every single one of those beings whose lights are dying out as they slowly go to sleep one by one, they're alive. they're not a scenery, they're their own, individual worlds. and they all coexist with each other in such a clever manner, don't you think? they have their differences, they might even hate each other, or wish the worst upon the other's name, but from up here? they fit together like puzzles of one, big picture."

"that's a nice way to put it, for sure" you whisper, looking down onto your knees. his finger pushes your chin slightly to make you face him, and he smiles at you gently, thumb brushing against the skin of your cheek.

"you know, we each have our own worlds, built from scratch from such fragile materials. we have our worlds rise, shine, and crumble before our sights. we look over the ruins of them and think, this is the end of the world. there's nothing more, it's all dust now. but from up here, you see how many other worlds there are - everyone has their own. not everything that is happening in your world is true. you see it from first person's perspective, and therefore the view might be disturbed by many different aspects. you might not see the picture, you just see the broken puzzle fragment that can't fit with the rest, and you're ready to throw away the entire picture, without finishing it. but being here, it reminds me... the world doesn't end on the ruins you see. you can always ask someone to help you build them up again, and of course, you can expect it to fall into pieces once more, but this time, you'll keep in mind, there're-" he stopped, pointing to the city's lights. "so many people to help you raise it up to the clouds."

"your metaphor is really complex" you chuckle, but his face stays still.

"it's not the end of the world if your puzzle piece is broken. and the ruins are not unfixable if you feel too tired to build them up all by yourself. if anything, that's a start." his hand travels up to keep the hair from getting on your face, since the wind blows pretty hard on this height. "what do you say we start your puzzle once more, toghether?"

-

your friendly reminder that you can request things [here]

[clotpole-art]

Retrospective: Illustrated Merlin Alphabet Challenge

Finally finished the Merlin Alphabet Challenge, so here's the artist notes no one asked for! See below the cut for comments on each piece by order of creation. Be warned folks, it's a long post.

Before we begin: credit to @merlin-gifs for the challenge, which can be found here. It's awesome, go do it.

First thing you should know is I did probably 80-90% of these while on phone calls or in Zoom meetings and that's reflected in the simplicity of most pieces -- the compositions aren't complicated, the lines aren't refined, the coloring is slapdash. If you noticed variation in quality of the pieces, that's why!

Second: I tried to focus on trying something new for each drawing. Didn't always happen, but this challenge did succeed in helping me push me out of my own comfort zone.

Without further ado...

A is for Arthur Pendragon

Textures, baby! Brushed metal of his armor, scratchy linen texture of his shirt, wispy softness of hair and skin. I'd recently gotten my tablet out of storage after a year of figuring out where the hell I was going to live and this was one of the first pieces of digital art I spent time on. Glad it was Arthur kicking us off!

B is for the Beginning of the End (1x08)

Fun fact, I did not draw this with my tablet. I drew it with my work computer's touchscreen. It was awful, would not recommend.

C is for Camelot

I wanted to get used to different brushes, so landscape of the castle it was! There are brushes that help with drawing grass; I did not use said brushes and my wrist hurt afterward. That being said, I really enjoyed working on this and it was one of the few pieces I didn't do while multitasking.

D is for Daegal

Also drawn on my work computer's touchscreen, not my tablet. I didn't learn my lesson from B and the experience was even worse. This is my least favorite piece which sucks because it's Daegal so I'm slated to redo this sometime in the near future. Gotta do our boy justice.

E is for Elyan

Oh, I adored drawing this. Elyan often gets shafted in terms of fandom appreciation so I made sure to choose Elyan for this prompt and to participate in the Elyan fest. Plus, I love a good ghost story and figuring out a way to include the druid spectre was fun. Didn't multitask on this piece because Elyan deserved my full attention.

F is for Freya

Ho boy. This piece. I have such mixed feelings on this drawing. Really really didn't like it after I'd decided it was done and very nearly scrapped the whole thing. I had a vision in my head that I just couldn't render into reality and it frustrated me SO MUCH. Looking back, I like it much better than I did when I first created it.

G is for Gwaine

What can I say, he's pretty when he's cold. I didn't stretch too much with this one -- it's my normal drawing style, I was just trying to find a brush that mimicked the softness of pencil.

H is for Hunith

Another one that didn't stray too far from my comfort zone. I was stupid sick and slammed at work, so a motherly Hunith manifested herself. I blame the bad brush choice on the cold medicine.

I is for Isolde

I woke up and chose violence! Tried to vary my figure drawing style a little in this piece but my brain resisted, resulting in... this. Not mad at it, but not happy with it either. Poor Isolde.

J is for Juggling

Ah, this lovely piece was drawn during a particularly vexing meeting at work. Fun fact, there's another version of this line art that's less about Merlin's stress and more about mine.

K is for Knights of Camelot

Continuing the theme of doodling through bad news and shit meetings. Like I said above, normally meeting doodles aren't complex because I'm concentrating on something else. This one was more involved because I didn't want to concentrate on the meeting. I have a few issues with this from a technical standpoint (perspective, my nemesis) but it's still one of my favorites. Tried some funky coloring technique, didn't hate it.

V is for Vibrant Colors

And here is where we said fuck the rules and started going out of alphabetical order! This one was really fun to do and I loved kicking off Albion Party with this as my first submission. The colors were a challenge (as I hoped they would be) and this is the first time I had to do some color tweaking midway though and after finishing the coloring process. Vibrant Arthur, my beloved. This started as a multitask doodle but took dedicated time to finish.

O is for Old Religion

The concept for this one was buzzing in my head for a bit before a quote-prompt solidified it. I adore the thought of more visible, tangible representations of Merlin as the son of the elements, of "magic itself" -- not just sun-gold eyes, but sea-water hair and sandstone-skin. A complement to the vibrant Arthur portrait.

S is for Sorcerers

When I said I wanted to challenge myself, I wasn't kidding. Ho boy, this was fun but frustrating. I wanted to completely illustrate a gif. So I did. Will I do something like this again? Maybe. A while from now.

M is for Morgause

See above -- same illustrated gif style so at least I was able to reuse some drawings. Poor Morgause ended up looking a little wretched here because I was mentally done with this when I was drawing her. Love the concept of tarot cards + Merlin but others are doing it so I won't continue this series.

Z is for Zzzz

This one was specifically done to test out some custom brushes I made in Krita to make abstract background drawing easier for me. I think they turned out well! Plus who doesn't love bb iridescent Aithusa.

L is for Leon, P is for Percival

Quick, minimal doodles of the boys! Mentally, I was going for a Brady's-style retro ensemble cast TV show credits feel. Not mad at it! Some boys look closer to their actors than others (I think my brain broke drawing Percy, my apologies to Tom Hopper).

T is for Tristan

It wasn't until after I posted this that I realized there was more than one Tristan in Merlin. Could have drawn Isolde's bf but I drew Ygraine's dumb jock undead brother instead. Had some fun with dark greys and blacks here regardless.

Q is for Queen Annis

Best royal in Albion, bar none. I tried a different coloring technique here and I kinda like it! may make it my go-to but we'll see. Old habits are hard to break. Also: our queen deserved more badass clothes.

X is for Arthur X Merlin

Oh, be still my shipper heart. Doodled and colored during a meeting. I had hoped to spend more time on it outside of multitasking but alas, work is a bitch. This one is slated for a rework sometime in the future; I adore the concept too much to let it go without creating another version of this that isn't an utter mess.

U is for Uther's Ward

And here's my attempt at forgoing line art. Not fun, do not like.

Y is for Young Warlock

Channeled some pain into this one. Those are the dead eyes of someone who had been told that he'd succeeded when his friend died. That the destiny he'd been expecting to carry on his shoulders into old age was done and dusted before he turned 30. Grief plus the existential dread of the aimless immortal. Oof. One of my favs.

N is for Nimueh, R is for Rising Sun, W is for Will

And we end on this sorry offering. I was away from home for a while without my tablet and I just got tired of waiting. So, pen doodles at the airport. This was a challenge in its own right because 1. pen only and 2. I wasn't able to pull Netflix up for a reference on the fly. Which is why Will's face is obscured and Nimueh looks.... not like Nimueh lol.

In summary: this was a goddamn joy to do. I finished 26 letter prompts in approximately 21 weeks, which exceeded my own unspoken goal of filling one letter per week. I found a good, happy corner of the Merlin fandom after a years-long hiatus away from being a fandom creator. If you did make it this far with me, thanks for reading my inane comments and giving this little project even a moment of your time -- I'm so grateful.

[tokyokookmin]

I really loved your explanation regarding vmin it was retable. kanmom51 anon, Im using a little of your ask for @tokyokookmin to explain and narrate a lil about JIMIN shes a JM biased too so I felt that it would be appropriate to ask her.

"Because it’s no secret that JM doesn’t get any praise from the company, the choreographer, and all."

"When it comes to the members it’s a different topic. They hype Jimin up. We have J-Hope constantly praising JM. Jk completely in awe with JM dance. Jin thanking him for helping him rehearse."

"So for me Bighit for some reason doesn’t do anything for JM, no credit in his work, no acknowledgement, nothing."

I felt that every single word that this anon has said is pure truth and this remark deserves much more attention. We all know what's currently going on with JM, the situation is really bad and its getting worse, toxic solo stans are bashing him and they are comparing him to other members from every perspective + even the hate that he's getting bcuz of him "annoying jk" in that memories 2020.

I need you to explain on how a wonderful person JM is. Your impact makes a huge difference on people mindset. tysm keshhh.

Hey there anon!, I deeply understand your emotions. The hate that JM is going through is really bad and I have personally reported those accounts on twt etc. I even took a few snapshots of a tiktok video comment section... I will surely share them some day or another. Well then lets get started! I can't compare J-HOPE TO JM because they are my biases and both of them captivated my eyes, I just can't resist their flawless moves and they make a great dance unit... it would be incomplete without one of them + JK lol.

Most armies would say that JK is the golden maknae or he's the best overall in the team, well y'all took JM for granted, he's capable of doing so many things as well. But before that we need to talk about his dancing skills, I have made one blog about the 3J. Here's the link if you would like to know about their achievements/viral moments https://tokyokookmin.tumblr.com/post/654670945252933632/a-guide-to-the-dance-line..... this blog was mostly just me collecting info's lmao-.

1. DANCE ☝️

Well I found this incredible video from tiktok and I thought that this video would be perfect to describe his contemporary skills. Utmost respect to the creator for creating such a masterpiece!

Jimin Van Fleet Award!

Do we really need to talk about this? We all knew what impact he had given to audience with his remarkable traditional korean fan dance.He is extremely talented, after all he trained in contemporary.

“I received many really big awards today. I sincerely appreciate it, and it was a day when I thought I would like to share it with you with better music and stage in the future. Thank you all for your support. #JIMIN# We have been unclear” #JiminWorldwideLoved 📷📷📷📷

"As emphasized by the ballet dancer, being lifted is not easy, just like in the case of Jimin in the said stage. A strong core, glutes, and chest are vital for the one being lifted." https://youtu.be/3RW91KT3bXw - another review from a japanese dancer.

He is extremely versatile and he can master any sort of genre.He excels in dancing,his moves and fluidity of his body is astonishing they way he moves every tissue in his body to perfectly to complete the cheoreo is just mind blowing, he is truly the embodiment of dancing! Believe me or not, you should pay more attention on his facial expressions... he keeps it graceful. His fingers and angle are on point.

From MAMA 2016 Lie meets Boy meets evil to MMA 2020 black swan 🦢..I wonder what's coming up next.

2. Loving member

Jimin is the member that I connect emotionally to, he's a sentimental person but he just doesn't show it you just have to pay attention on his behaviour and actions. He consoles many of the members and he provides comfort for them. The picture I attached below sets a great example.

1. BTS MAMA 2018... It was a tough year for them. They were close to disbanding, and the members were emotionally drained. My heart sank when I saw hobi breaking down in front of the crowd, you can find tons of fancams but you should take a close look at Jimin. He handled the situation very well and I love the way he gives his subtle touch of love towards the other members.

2. Taehyung grandma death announcement

I don't think that I need to explain the about the situation. Taehyung was really sad and felt guilty as he couldn't mention his grandma name. He broke down and Jimin immediately noticed him and ran towards him and just gave him little pat/huggie.

3. The Final

Even by looking at the picture you can see the comfort. You know that GCF-TOKYO song “there for you’ which implies that Jk means he will be there for jimin but "you gotta be there for me too” which means jimin gotta be there for him too. So yeah, JM just know jungkook well and he comforts Jk pretty well.It was so cute and i wished i was a part of the audience, i would have had a panic attack looking at them being so cute,fluff,intimate ON STAGE . Too bad it’s impossible now .

3.He's a badass [ athletic/ physical ]

Jimin has often talked about his experience in kendo,japanese fencing,Geomdo (검도, 劍道) “Way of the Sword” & hapkido. HAPKIDO: electid korean martial arts .It is a form of self-defense that employs joint locks, grappling, throwing techniques, kicks, punches, and other striking attacks.

https://youtu.be/oUcHghZQxiw - a video you may refer to.

.4.Academic excellence

After Namjoon Jimin has the most remarkable academic achievements in bts. He was one of the top students in junior high and was THE top student in Busan arts high school from ALL the departments. Fun fact Jimin IQ is 128! He was valedictorian too.

"When he was in junior high, he was one of the top students so Jimin's dad thought of enrolling him in a foreign language school. When he decided to go to an arts school, his teachers tried to stop him and were disappointed. He was accepted as the top of his class and attended Busan High School of Arts. He was doing really good. Then he switched to K-pop dancing and decided to be a trainee in Seoul. Teachers also tried to stop him and were disappointed. Park Jimin's life is really something.

36. Our Jimin didn't spend a lot of time preparing for the arts school. He was dancing popping when he decided to go to the arts school. He then learned modern dancing for a little over a year and was accepted at Busan High School of Arts as the top of his class even though he was a dance majorπ TT TT Every member in this group could've been successful at anything. That group is our pride, BTS.

60. Wow! If there's only one dance class, it's really incredible~ It's hard to get a top student from dance department. And it was achieved by a male student and it's Park Jimin TTTT

67. That's what I know too.. I was looking into Busan Arts School before and one class for dance is probably correct. It was mostly music and art classes that I remember. So from Busan Arts School, one out of ten classes and a male student from dance department getting accepted as the top of the class...the percentage is just incredible. I know that the dance class has about 40 students? And male students could be 25:15 or 30:10. Jimin broke through this and became the top.

Namjoon and Jimin really made a huge gamble. They could've went the easier way. Truthfully, if they went their way, they both would have succeeded. But becoming an idol and not knowing what their future will be and BTS not being successful from the beginning must have been really hard for them. But now I'm glad they're successful and they can realize they've made the right choice."

cr @artimitatesjimin

I really respect and idolize him. His personality is unique and its different.He's been through alot. Being kicked from BTS for 8+ times, the members ranking his looks as the last and being called fat and ugly, that's really disturbing. He starved and went on diets just to please the audience and to have a jawline. He works his ass of and he really deserves more. He's obviously cutie,sexy,lovely,sweet guy! He prioritize his career, family and fans before anything. He has absolute heavenly vocals (+crazyyy high notes) and he is the definition of stage presence. PARK JIMIN IS THE STANDARD. Solo toxic fans are definitely going to attack on me but this is the reality.Jimin deserves more and he's such a sweet person. He performs with his whole heart and expresses it wonderfully,he goes all out and each performance comes out from his soul. He loves to perform. I MEAN FOR THE LOOKS, JIMIN IS THE FIRST FOR JUNGKOOK~.

He once even wasn't able to attend THE GRAHAM NORTON SHOW due to his sore muscles.

He went through alot and he deserves the #1 in brand reputation, who doesn't admire his determination?

Each member is unique in their own way. I want no hate or malice on my platform ~

Bits and pieces I collected anon! love ya ~ stay safe.

[legionofpotatoes]

I love your art, it is very detailed in a neat way. Was wondering how you got started making it as a source of income? How did you get your first paid work, I'd love some advice on how to get started, if that's ok

Thank you. Of course it's okay, although I doubt I have enough work experience in art to really delve into this. I only went full freelance this year, and had been juggling art as a side hobby until then. If you're still interested in my somewhat narrow perspective, and are okay with my long-winded rambles, I'll give it a shot:

So to answer your question fully, I'll describe how I started and move into personal advice and learnings later on. As a disclaimer, I am a white cishet dude in my late twenties with a moderate cocktail of mental illnesses, but overall I can pass for a functioning adult so a lot I have to say may come laced with privilege I cannot fully identify.

So uhh I began drawing in around 2012? I think? Maybe halfway through 2011? And I mostly made fanart for things I enjoyed and tried to branch out in communities that felt nourishing to my style and interests (I caught a bug for alt posters and enjoyed mainstream movies so I spent a long time on posterspy early on). There were a handful of opportunities that came from there but I could only accept a couple because of primary workplace commitments. Still, it showed that networking in a focused community was definitely a good place to start; I myself have huge trouble committing to social networks and really staying socially active, but I knew it was an essential ingredient in succeeding so I tried to make myself be involved in challenges and art support trains etc. as much as I could.

In parallel to all that I also ran a few third party online stores (redbubble, teepublic) for disposable income and would sometimes, if rarely, hit around $100-150 a month from those sources combined. It is a sort of thing that requires helper accounts on other social media sites to promote it on, because the stores themselves have a huge volume of content that translates into low organic discoverability. Obviously it was never gonna be the way towards financial independence through art, and with community projects being few and far between, I opened private commissions in around uhhh 2017 I think, focusing on offering a few styles I knew I could do well, and sometimes operating in individual fandoms (it was mostly a bioware thing to be frank). But I had to close them back down after a year or so, again because of work-life conflict and how badly it was burning me out. The reason I kept trying to monetize this hobby is because I honestly hated what I did for my main job and wanted to see a way out in some shape or form in the future.

And then in 2020 I had to quit my main job altogether because of *gestures at pandemic* and deal with a mental breakdown from all the wonderful things it did to us and me specifically. I took a short break and decided to give art a shot full-time, and that was around May this year. I was planning on opening up commissions again (and I still am), but a few sudden opportunities that fell in my lap moved that timetable down and now I'm grateful to even be doing something I am getting adequately paid for.

So, with that somewhat limited perspective, here's what I've learned that I'd tell myself if I was just starting out:

1. Being a fan of something can be a shortcut towards effective networking kickoffs. Which are important evidently. If you love something and enjoy making content for it, join communities, settle into a combination of social media websites that feel right for those interests + your body of work + your inner rhythm, and try to play to content discovery as much as your mental health allows you to. Like I said, I know that I myself am incredibly bad at self-motivating to talk to people, so I found that synergizing common interests into fanart - which I enjoyed making anyway - could be a way to give myself a gentle nudge forward and build those bridges leading to community activities, which then net experience and coverage. Sometimes even freelance projects from official avenues. Again; picking the right spaces for what you're after is key. Companies roam twitter, concept art recruiters scour artstation or linkedin etc, instagram can land you private commissions and collab opportunities, so on and so forth. Find your niche and try to kick up dust. However...

2. I do not believe that any social profile can replace a good portfolio. The thing that made an immediate difference to me this year was building a coherent, simple website with my best work front and center and a contact form on top. Every single opportunity I got came from that form (maybe via twitter or instagram initially, but always sealing the decision after going through the website), so I firmly believe that showcasing your skills and portfolio in a visually arresting and user-friendly way is a big priority. I had some reservations about tackling that task but fortunately I had help from a savvy life partner and we slapped it together via wordpress in less than a day. Twitter/whatever social media is prevalent in your target groups is definitely important to get the right eyes on your shit, yes, but those eyes will then look for a second stop where your work and rates are more clear and concise. Simplicity is key imo, I cannot overstate this. So make a cute, simple portfolio!

3. Your skills and rates will grow and change as you do. Let them. Over the years I built several lasting professional relationships from my obsession over mass effect and kept getting opportunities both from bioware and their partner companies, some small and some a bit bigger. A one-off job earlier this year opened an unexpected door to another much larger commitment, and then the work I did there brought some attention from small businesses looking for commercial commissions. These were all incredibly different projects in terms of scope and budget, and I've been tackling them all on a case-by-case basis and slowly coming into my own irt my needs, rates, and SOW thresholds. It is still a work in progress (and a LOT of literal work as well), and very much a thing I struggle with in publicly marketing, which is why I felt a tad underqualified to answer your question in the first place (obviously I did not let that stop me). But what it means for me now is that I am rapidly developing into whatever my "version" of a functioning freelance artist is, and when the conditions for that guy are met, I need to be able to confidently plant myself and operate from that space despite past precedents. Do not let anyone bully you into downpricing what you yourself perceive as legitimate products of personal growth and development. Speaking of which...

4. The shitty challenge of turning envy into inspiration, and paddling outside your comfort zones in full riot gear. it is hard, but realizing that being a miserable, self-hating artist in my early days got me nothing but more misery back was the first real step I took and what truly blew the hinges off. I was just not pleasant to be around, I would badmouth my work all the time, and it all somehow made sense in my broken mind because the validation I sought was purely external and the way I sought it was through eliciting sympathy via self-victimization (even when I made something objectively nice). It all led fucking nowhere. Except perhaps to my own narcissism that I one day managed to identify and start managing. So I started looking at things that made me seethe with envy and calmly deconstruct and figure out their inner workings instead, do studies, and find nuggets of inspiration or discover new ways to approach rendering or building up specific elements. It was an application of analytical diligence to what I wanted to be a purely emotional, esoteric workflow, but that I deep down knew wasn't. Art is a discipline and a skill, and maybe it isn't a straight line, but you gotta find some line to thread nevertheless. Being self-hating was almost an identity I had to break out of, and despite it still being like, 4-5% there? I realize its cause and effect on me, my work, and those around me, so it is with a conscious choice that I gently set it aside when I work and especially when I learn. It won't always stay quiet, but the effort is the difference. Your doors towards accepting true growth and venturing into uncharted territories, art styles, and networking will really open from there. But there's a huge caveat...

5. Toolsets, accessibility, privilege, and all the good things that enable artistic expression and profitability are not given equal to all. you might do all the mental work I mentioned to be ready to rock and roll and learn and draw your way out of anything, but digital art is a fucking money pit that asks almost too much at times. I don't got a good case study here but identifying and ensuring accessibility to the tools you need to do your best work is, like, super important. The ergonomics can improve as you make money and settle into the job, but the basics have to be made available to you. And some of that might not even be under your direct control. That can be anything from pen tablets to software subscriptions to opportunities in hiring sullied by sexism or what have you. You gotta navigate all that through careful networking and money/time management. I don't do a good job of devoting specific slices of time to work/study, and my primary clutch is iPad software which went from a good deal to a nightmare scenario over the years. So all I can say here is do what I didn't; network, invest in a PC/tablet, and pick a software you'll learn that won't burn a hole in your pocket.

6. Be nice to work with? This one is hard to articulate and has landed my own ass in hot water in my early years because of how socially inept I am, but nothing is more worthwhile than being.. like. a good person to work with. That can be anything like meeting deadlines, or sometimes missing them but eloquently articulating why, being generous in early stages, being communicable and not too wordy in your emails, having a good grasp on abstract artistic concepts and how to describe them in simple terms, having a clear, laid out framework of your working rates in commercial and non-commercial projects and sticking to those guns with grace, understanding when you need to say no and saying it well, the works. Just being nice. Sometimes that might mean going headstrong with something you believe in, or simmering down and sucking up to the big man, all relative and adaptive. Part and parcel of the service provision dance that we all have to do in order to make bank. Know your lines here, obviously, and don't like. work for nazis. or uh.. *shudders* exposure. but be nice and empathetic and communicable and word will travel eventually. Skill may be in abundance these days, but good people are most certainly not, and capitalism has a way of bubbling up scarcity. Grim, but uh, them's the breaks.

I know I'm ultimately telling you to like. Have a body of work, make a portfolio, grow, and network. But that's really how I see it for now. And being nice can be a cherry on top that sets you apart, along with the inherent irreplaceable voice of your artwork. I think I rambled on enough, but if there is something specific you need my help with, even if you want to come off anon and talk in private, please feel free.

[oliviermiraarmstrongs]

mid-year book freak out tag

thank you @bloody-wonder for giving me an excuse to share my book thoughts!

1. Best Book You’ve Read So Far in 2021?

It’s gotta be The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood; I hear “feminist period novel about mentally ill woman unable to cope in upper-class society” and I am THERE! It’s like [Stefon voice] This book has EVERYTHING: repressed women, a decaying old house, a complex relationship of two sisters, a pulpy sci-fi story-within-a-story-within-a-story, criticism of capitalism and reactionary attitudes and politics, commentary on how conservative society shuns those it perceives to be “other” and a threat to the social order (poor people, socialists, “unconventional” women). It is EXTREMELY my shit.

2. Best Sequel You’ve Read So Far in 2021?

The only one I've read is Siege and Storm, so Siege and Storm! Shadow and Bone was captivating, if a little simplistic, but the sequel really fleshes out the characters, setting, and themes. It’s great to see Alina take a more active role, and I love the exploration of sainthood. 

3. New Release You Haven’t Read Yet, But Want To?

I’m really curious about Michelle Zauner’s memoir Crying in H Mart. Same with Axiom’s End, which I haven’t really been seeking out, but it’s been resting on my list since I like a lot of Lindsay Ellis’ stuff.

4. Most Anticipated Release For Second Half of 2021?

5. Biggest Disappointment?

The Penelopiad by Margaret Atwood. I’ve been getting into Atwood, and I have a soft spot for female-centric retellings of myths, so this was on my list for a long time. It’s not bad; it’s decent as a character study and offers some good perspective on the hanged slave women from The Odyssey, but overall it came off as...bitter? And not in a good way. It’s reasonable to include commentary on how bad things were for women in ancient times, but after a while I’m just like “But there had to be a time when Penelope was happy, right?” But the biggest failing has to be the treatment of Helen. Why a story focused on bringing literary justice to silenced women also characterizes Helen of Troy as a manipulative, arrogant bitch who single-handedly ignited the Trojan War because she enjoys fucking people over, I’ll never know. Ironic that in the opening chapter, Penelope bemoans being used as a yardstick with which to judge other women, and then the book proceeds to do exactly that with her and Helen. Can’t let Penelope have a positive relationship with another woman! There could be some form of unreliable narrator at play, but there’s not much indication that that’s the case here. Even Homer had a more nuanced portrayal of Helen than this!

6. Biggest Surprise?

I suppose The Red Tent. I picked it up at a Goodwill because of my aforementioned interest in female-centric retellings. It’s not amazing, but I wasn’t really expecting it to emotionally affect me like it did. You spend so much time setting up Dinah’s family and this supportive community of woman within a patriarchal society, only to have Dinah abandon it all after getting betrayed by her father and (most of) her brothers. Hearing about how her family fell apart after she left and she never got to see her mothers again really gets to me. The book has flaws for sure - neither of Dinah’s romances are developed very well, and some of its themes can come off as gender essentialist - but I think it’s a nice exploration of female labor and traditions that too often get ignored.

7. Favorite New Author?

The only relatively new author I’ve been reading is Leigh Bardugo, soooooo... honestly I don’t know what I can say that hasn’t already been said, I got into the series pretty late. Great world-building, witty dialogue, a familiar type of story with enough interesting ideas to make it feel fresh. Check out Shadow and Bone if you get the chance. Sound of the summer.

8. Newest Fictional Crush?

You would think it would be Nikolai Lantsov since I just finished reading Siege and Storm and he seems to be the fan favorite... but nah, not yet. He’s fun, but he doesn’t hit me in that way (Though very sexy of him to just casually proposition Alina and Mal for a royal polycule, a la Arthur/Guinevere/Lancelot; would love an AU where they accept his offer). However, I would let Zoya murder me. Every time Zoya is not in a scene I am asking “Where’s Zoya?” Also shout out to Alina, just because I would treat her better than all the men in her life! 

9. Newest Favorite Character?

Gonna try to do this without spoiling too much, but Laura Chase in The Blind Assassin really resonated with me. Her personality reminds me a lot of myself, especially as an an autistic person, like the way she has her own way of thinking that makes perfect sense to her, but makes other people see her as odd and naive. I love how she’s set up in-universe as this Sylvia Plath-esque tragic heroine, with Iris spending the rest of the book interrogating and deconstructing, and in a way, reconstructing this image of her. Atwood you’re insane for this. I forgive you for the Helen thing now.

10. Book That Made You Cry?

I never got as far as crying, but the part in The Goldfinch where [spoilers incoming] the art heist goes wrong and Theo is alone in the hotel room and he’s spiraling and considering suicide and finally dreams of his mom… all that was too much for me and I had to put the book down for the night. This guy just can’t catch a fucking break.

11. Book That Made You Happy?

fucidjdjdj I didn’t read any happy books this year. Shadow and Bone and Siege and Storm because I read them really fast unlike my usual months-long reading schedule.

12. Favorite Book Adaptation You Saw?

Predictably, Shadow and Bone. I basically bought and read the book less than a week before the show came out because I thought it looked interesting and wanted in on the hype (mostly because Jessie is cute 🥰). Honestly, the show improves a lot on the first book; the multiple storylines make it more dynamic and complex, the actors really help to make the characters feel more fleshed out, and Alina and Inej interacted for like three scenes, introducing an unexpected but thematically rich ship.

13. Favorite Review You’ve Written This Year?

14. Most Beautiful Book You’ve Bought So Far This Year?

I impulse-bought this book of Romantic poetry at Barnes and Noble just because it was pretty and I had a gift card

15. What Books Do You Need To Read By The End Of The Year?

Besides finishing The Grisha Trilogy/Six of Crows duology/Zoya’s duology that I forgot the name of….I don’t know. I’m not a reader that plans in advance. I acquire books, finish whatever I’m currently reading, look through my stacks deciding what to read next, spend an hour doing so because I can’t decide if I’m in the mood for any of them, and either force myself to read one or buy/borrow a new one.

I’m tagging @betweenironyandsilver, @illuminaticns, @borispavlikovskys, @chdarling, @sctine, @mightyaubs, @excuseforadrink, and @trckstergods, if you wanna! Or anyone who wants to yell about books.

[randomidiocyncrazies]

i know you like them both so yunichika and oda/aoki for the ship ask

thank you for giving me a chance to gush about these kids!!! they’re precious.... this got pretty long so imma put it under a cut

YuniChika, the main boys of 2.43:

• when or if I started shipping it:

tbh i didn’t really ship them when i read the first book... they’re the kind of pairing that i can see people shipping and i think it’s cute, but i’m not super invested in them as a romantic pairing. I think i was more sold about them as a ship in the second book, but i can’t quite remember if there was a specific moment that made me change my mind, or if it was a gradual process

• my thoughts:

i think the anime definitely played up the tension between them (allll the blushes lol), but i’m glad people are enjoying the YuniChika content XD they’re pretty cute!

also, i think they balance each other well and spur each other to become better—Yuni and Chika are both self-centered(?) in very different ways: Yuni lacks drive because he mostly wanted to please people so they’ll like him, while Chika has the opposite problem in that he acts like he doesn’t care what people think of him. 

but now Yuni is able to take a stand for his interest in volleyball and for Chika, and while Chika doesn’t really soften and still has a problem with not realizing how harsh he could be, he’s more willing to communicate his thoughts.

• what makes me happy about them:

boys reuniting! relearning how to have a relationship with one another! learning from past mistakes and trying to be better people together! HELL YEAH

• what makes me sad about them:

boys, please use your words to communicate with each other...

also, from Yuni’s perspective, it’s kinda sad when someone you used to know really well comes back into your life, but they’ve changed so much that they are essentially a different person... but of course they have a new opportunity to become closer now 😉 so i’m not that sad about it

• things done in art/fic that annoys me:

... there are fanworks for them????????? 

(on a more serious note, erasing their flaws to make them more likable... please don’t make Chika ‘secretly nice’ or whatever, the kid is blunt as hell, and not realizing how his words affect others is his biggest flaw. on the other hand, Yuni can still be a little spineless at times, and sometimes his priorities are. questionable.)

• things I look for in art/fic:

hm, i’d like a future fic about them as professional players! i think their inclination is to stick together (they’re a package deal!) but it’d be super interesting to read something where they’re on rival teams years down the line

EDIT: haha Chika actually transferred to Keisei High School after their first Spring Tournament, so he and Yuni have faced each other as rivals since then (2.43 next 4years). they’re go to the same university and are on the same team now though!

• who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

uh i don’t really have specific people for this, but Chika would probably have to be with someone who understands his love of volleyball (like Oda, but if Oda wasn’t their team captain and thus too much of a dad friend to qualify as a romantic interest), and someone who can inspire Yuni would be good for him

also, i know who i’d NOT be comfy about: the first book (and anime i guess) had this weird tension between Itoko and Yuni, COUSINS who BASICALLY GREW UP TOGETHER. i think(?) their weird whatever was mostly dropped in the 2nd book and wasn’t really made explicit, but like. what the hell. (i have no idea what happens beyond the 2nd book.)

• my happily ever after for them:

the YuniChika in college arc is being serialized rn, so in a way that’s already fulfilled? (i have NO idea what’s going on tho) 

in general i just hope they can play volleyball together until one or both decide not to, for whatever reason, and that they stay in each other’s lives and support each other even after they’ve retired from competitive volleyball. i think with Yuni’s personality he could be a good coach after getting more experience, and Chika... he’s really valuable as a strategist, but I think he’d always be a little brusque, so he’s respected but hard to bond with if he does take on coaching?

• what is their favorite non-sexual activity?

bold of you to assume Chika even cares about sex

anyway, they don’t go to movies for a romantic date night, they go watch volleyball matches. sometimes this backfires when Chika gets too frustrated at bad plays tho

and of course i will never pass up an opportunity to talk about Oda/Aoki, the main guys of my heart (my OTP for this series tbh):

• when or if I started shipping it:

they pinged on my radar when they were bickering in Ibara’s chapter, but i wasn’t super duper invested... and then I got to The Dog’s Perspective and the Giraffe’s Perspective (specifically The Kick™) and oh god i’ve never fallen so fast

• my thoughts: 

GOD WOW Aoki really loves Oda... even though objectively Oda’s height prevents him from being a super ace, he is the coolest, strongest super ace to Aoki. i think it’s beautiful that someone can see you as your best self even when you’re feeling shitty about yourself. Aoki knows that objectively Oda faces a lot of obstacles, and wants to support him as best as he can—not out of pity (pity would’ve burned out long ago), but because he really respects Oda’s passion and drive.

also, these two have unaddressed issues that they should talk about! Oda, i know you feel inferior but you are so much better than you think you are. please accept that Aoki really does respect you, and that you are worthy of it (or like, you don’t have to be ‘’’worthy’’’’ or ‘’’’’’deserving’’’’’’’’’’ of it, because it is Aoki’s choice to support you and play volleyball with you!!! it’s not something you gotta earn, it’s something freely and happily given to you)

(ahhhhhh i die when i think of them)

• what makes me happy about them: 

gosh i love their dynamic SO MUCH! Oda is exactly my type of character (passionate, determined, knowing that he can never be the best at what he’s passionate about due to factors he cannot control, trying to be kind and gracious but struggling with feelings of inferiority and jealousy, thinks of himself as a selfish person, a supporting character...) and Aoki’s devotion is really touching. 

again: even when you feel like crap about yourself, there’s someone out there who thinks you’re the best thing that happened to them.

there’s also the fact that Oda thinks the world of Aoki as well (to the point of feeling inferior, which is like... c’mon Oda :/ you are better than you think you are!) he trusts Aoki a lot, despite knowing his willingness to engage in, uh, underhanded methods

• what makes me sad about them: 

it’s their last year together, and they’d be approaching a new phase of their lives in different places... although Aoki offered to lower his rankings so they’d go to the same university, realistically they’ll go to different colleges, and most likely end up in different prefectures. (like, not only do i think it’s a Terrible Idea to give up your dream school so that you could stay with someone else, there is no way Oda would accept the offer without being crushed by guilt. something like that would actually ruin their relationship, which i think Aoki knows as well.)

there’s also a lot left unsaid between them at this point and i just want them to lay everything out between them and move forward together

• things done in art/fic that annoys me: 

the fact that there’s NONE >:[ what does a gal have to do to get some content for them???????

• things I look for in art/fic: 

at this point anything is fine.... it’s a desert out there and i’m dying

more specifically i’m Extremely Down for a get together fic; i personally only see them getting together after high school, at least several months (or even longer) studying in different prefectures and no longer able to see each other every day. (i mean... absence makes the heart grow fonder right?)

i’d also love to see Oda using Aoki’s first name, considering Aoki calls him “Shin” and all. Oda managing to surprise/fluster Aoki would be nice too.

EDIT: they’re both in the Kansai region (2.43 next 4years prologue). Oda’s revealed to be studying in Osaka, and assuming Aoki got into KyoDai, they should be around 2 hours away from each other by train? so visiting each other over short breaks would be cute! also, apparently Oda took a gap year before going to Osaka (2.43 next 4years Ch 1.2), so something set during that time would also be awesome :V

• who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: 

hm... if i had to imagine people well-suited to them, i’d say Aoki’s type is people who are straightforwardly passionate about their interests (Oda hooked him with his unbridled love of volleyball way back in their first year of high school after all), and I think Oda probably needs someone who is willing to indulge him a little (like Chika he can be pretty dang determined about what he wants, though without the single-minded intensity at the expense of everything else)

... this is just a roundabout way of saying i think they’re ideal for each other, especially if they resolve the problem of hiding things from the other

• my happily ever after for them: 

they get careers/hobbies they enjoy, and get a place together as boyfriends/husbands. no i will not hear any criticism of this idea

i can see Aoki working in the private sector (this guy is fine with ‘joking’ about blackmail after all!) after getting his law degree. this is super self-indulgent, but given his penchant of rooting for passionate but objectively disadvantaged entities, i think it’d be pretty awesome if he works for a smaller company that truly believes in their work, instead of working at a big firm pulling in big bucks.

while I’m not sure what Oda is canonically studying, I can see him going into sports education or sports therapy—i think he’d be really good at nurturing the talents of other athletes, and he’s good at rallying the team (Aoki pretty much says he’s the heart of the team in the epilogue of the first book, though Aoki’s kiiinda biased lol). i think it’d be really cute if Oda coaches a grade school team!

neither plays volleyball competitively after high school, but sometimes they watch matches for fun (esp if their ex-teammates are playing). Oda also makes Aoki come to his students’ matches if he doesn’t have work

EDIT: apparently Oda continues competing as a wing spiker in college, playing in Kaisai’s 2nd Collegiate Division (2.43 next 4years Ch 1.2)—Aoki probably watches his matches, even when he’s busy (and Oda probably chides him for neglecting his work, but they both know Aoki can manage his workload).

• what is their favorite non-sexual activity?

hm... idk, i think they’re the kind of couple who are cool with just chilling with each other doing their own work. like, Oda planning strategies for the kids he’s coaching while Aoki reads next to him, occasionally glancing over to make comments, stuff like that

also since Oda says they mostly talked about volleyball during high school, I can kinda see them finding something new they both enjoy after they get together? Maybe shounen manga, for something fun

[artsywitchbtch]

quick solutions for feeling burnt out

I know that, especially during quarantine, feeling burnt out can be very common. it's not fun being in a slump. so, here are a few activities to do when you need a little pick-me-up to return you to your center.

🍓make a nourishing meal🍓

sometimes you just need some good food! getting your greens in and putting proper nourishment into your body is never a bad idea. remember that your body is here for you, but you've gotta take care of it.

☁️take a nap☁️

this comes from some wonky logic, but hear me out. when a computer isn't working properly, we shut it off and hope it comes out better when it turns back on. humans sometimes work the same way. sometimes, we just need to restart. it doesn't always work, but I've found that the way I wake up in the morning does have an impact on how my day goes. maybe you woke up wrong. that's okay! just try again.

🪕listen to a playlist you love🪕

this one is big! I have tons of playlists that are carefully curated towards my moods. I happen to know myself pretty well, so I always know which one to listen to when I'm in a funk. find those songs that contain you in them. let them bring you back, bit by bit, until you are fully present in the moment.

🌱water your plants🌱

sometimes the feeling of taking care of something besides yourself can put you back in the right state of mind. if you do not have plants, this could go for pets as well. imagine the plant (or animal!) as yourself. you are taking care of it, bringing it to health.

🌲take a walk🌲

if it hasn't become obvious yet, I love the outdoors. getting some fresh air and surrounding yourself in an environment where everything else is just as alive as you are is a beautiful way to get perspective. sometimes, when we're stuck, it's because we're too zoomed in. we have to zoom out, examine the whole picture, and just admire the place we are at.

🚿take a shower 🚿

imagine washing off this feeling. all the negativity, the worry, the "bleh," all of it going down the drain. shampoo your hair. get deep into your scalp. exfoliate your skin. walk out of the shower looking like a newborn. my mother always told me to shower when I was sad, and I do it religiously now.

🖇️journal🖇️

sometimes getting those nasty, suffocating thoughts out of your mind and onto a page is the best way to go. also: journaling does not just have to be writing your feelings down or whatever. it can be through poetry, art, or just little blurbs that only make sense to you. my journal hardly ever mentions events actually going on in my life, but when I read my entries I know exactly how I was feeling, and that's all that matters.

[ankhisms]

the always wonderful shelley @shanheling tagged me to do this thank u so much!! i think that everyone i wanted to tag has already been tagged to do this but if you feel like doing this feel free to consider urself tagged by me!! im putting this under a readmore bc its long and i ramble a lot

the piece i was tagged to explain my process on is this oc piece! unfortunately i have a habit of deleting my original clip studio file once ive finished my art and saved it as a new png file, so i dont have the file to show the sketch and different stages of this piece. but I still can go through my general process and talk about how i did that piece!

1. planning

honestly i think about the art that i want to do a lot, and in this last year or so ive thought about the art i want to do more than ive been able to actually create and finish that art that i want to do. for my planning i tend to do a lot of different thumbnail sketches for the art im thinking of

these are some examples of thumbnails, a lot of times ill do thumbnails just on pencil and paper and with some of these theyre done quickly with my fingers on my phone note function on a day where i was feeling too bad to get up and draw on paper but still wanted to get the thumbnail ideas down. two of these are for the same songxiao piece that i still havent finished and i have more thumbnails digitally on clip studio for the same piece, i do a lot more thumbnails when a piece isnt working the way i want it to and theres times where ill completely scratch a thumbnail or a sketch and start over in order to do more thumbnails because i dont feel happy with some aspect of it.

two of these are small gouche painting thumbnails for two pieces i did maybe a month or so ago, i did the thumbnails and then tried to expand on them digitally and im wanting to do more thumbnail paintings like this in the future because it was fun

for the piece of my oc trio it was based off a series of ask prompts i got for a few different outfit prompt memes i had reblogged, so i based their outfits on the ones in the meme. when im drawing figures i tend to try and get the movement down in the poses when im sketching, i do several rough sketches of the pose before beginning to start setting down lines (if im doing lineart at all because sometimes i dont like doing lineart and do a more lineless painting kind of style). i really try to get my art to convey some kind of emotion, in the oc piece i wanted it to feel fun and like youre seeing three best friends while theyre out on the town having a fun night

2. creating

this is the only real example i have of a piece in the middle of being filled in and created, this piece is one that im really not very happy with & have had lying around for a while and ill probably scrap it and try to come at it from a different perspective at some point. but anyway it still shows what i do, i lay down a kind of neutral gray color underneath my final sketch/lineart if im doing lineart in that piece and then i start picking out the colors that i want for the piece and kind of setting out a pallette for myself. i dont do this color pallette thing 100% of the time but i do it really often, especially if im working on a commission or a larger piece where i know theres going to be a lot of colors or if its a piece where im not sure exactly what color scheme i want so laying out the colors together helps me kind of decide what kind of scheme i want. i am sooooo picky about my colors in my art i am genuinely obsessed with colors in art and there are times where i really have to stop myself from working on something forever just constantly adding more colors or putting little tiny changes and gradients in the colors.

after ive got the colors i want down i tend to try and block out parts of the piece with the base color for that section, and then i start to paint with the colors that i want to go on top of that base color from there.

once im satisfied with the colors/shading/rendering and everything ill go back and look over things and will fix things that look off or sometimes completely redo segments if they dont look right to me. when i was younger and mainly doing digital art using my phone and my fingers i would use a lot of filters and overlays on top of my art once i was done, and honestly im glad to not be doing that anymore because i dont think it made my art look any better. i do color adjustments and sometimes will put on a color overlay or a layer to emphasize the shadows and the light in the piece, but i try to keep those layers to a minimum and like i said before i have a tendency to obsess over the colors and ill spend a good amount of time in the color adjustment tool of clip studio and then ill just decide "actually it looks fine as it is" so yeah!

3. posting

i feel like i dont have a lot to say here gbfm i mean i honestly have a lot of thoughts about the relationship between artists and social media and how social media changes our views on art including our own art and how we can feel like we constantly need to be posting new art and just become content machines churning out new stuff. but ill save that rant for another time. i used to be really concerned about how many notes my art would get when i was younger, and i dont at all blame anyone who still is very concerned about that bc it sucks when u work hard on something youve created and then you dont get a lot of recognition for it, but honestly within the last two years or so i feel like ive begun to have a lot healthier relationship with posting my art. i really just post my art on my art blog, reblog it to my main blog, and then thats that yknow! i do really appreciate any and all support people give me, it means the world to me, but for me having the mentality where i dont need to post all the art i make and i dont need to be posting every day or every week or every month even has been a lot healthier for me because then im not constantly asking myself why didnt this get notes is my art awful??? and yeah i just kind of post it and my brain goes okay were done with that art we gotta make more

ive honestly been struggling a lot with art thru the pandemic and if youre reading this and have been struggling with creating in any way recently or even before the pandemic, please know theres no shame in having trouble creating and it doesnt make you bad at whatever it is u create!

thank you for reading this, feel free to consider urself tagged by me again if u want to do this!! love u all

[inventors-fair]

Three Cheese Commentary: An exercise in utility

I really shouldn’t complain about contests being popular with people.

Still, what a way for the year’s contests to start. A heckuva lot of entries for a very hard prompt makes me feel good, in an odd way. I have a hypothesis that the clarity of directions and the examples provided were enough to make it feel as though there was a low barrier to entry. It’s interesting and kind of my fault that a lot of mythic legendary creatures found their way in. Ah well. Lessons learned.

If you’re reading this, I want to give you a little hint: we love hard decisions. If your cards really are brilliant, if you do your best to improve with each and every entry, if you listen to the commentary and submit the best possible card, then our jobs as judges would be nail-bitingly hard. And I love that. I love having to sigh wistfully and move a card from “winners” to “runners-up.” I love praising cards that contest for coolness in their spaces. In short: you don’t have to listen to us specifically because, well, we’re not professionals, but if you tweak the tweaks and polish on your polish, then—well, the goal is that you grow as designers and in your understanding of the game. And that you’ll have fun along the way. 

For every card, I’m going to converse with the intent, talk about where improvements can be made and what might have gone wrong, and then go through wording nitpicks (another part of what makes cards hard, heh. You gotta do design AND cost AND flavor without committee). Cards with JUDGE PICK are personal favorites that for whatever reason either didn’t meet the criteria for winners or just tickled my fancy despite being some kind of not-there-in-certain-ways. Or maybe they just got pushed out of runners-up because of space. See? Hard decisions.

Let’s talk about some cards:

@aethernalstars — Anurid Matriarch

Intent: The Matriarch feels like a casual build-around-me keyword card with some connection to the Anurids of Dominaria. There are only two frogs with reach (and none with first strike) to date but this isn’t supposed to be a tribal card, is it. Not like that, anyway. Giving keywords those ups makes sense. Token generation is pretty solidly GW, giving them flying is WU, sure. First strike to double feels distinctly white. I imagine this card as a casual build-around-me or a token generator. Five mana for a 1/1 token ain’t bad.

Improvement: I have no idea what this card really wants to be. First strike doesn’t see anything outside of white, and reach doesn’t see much inside white. Or blue, for that matter. The flying makes sense for blue but this whole card doesn’t feel cohesive in terms of colors or identity. I did my Anurid research and I don’t see any precedent for this. Frog beasts are cool but… Well, this card answers the question of “why” with “just because.” I don’t fully understand the niche it’s trying to fill or the environment in which it wants to exist. If you’re gonna make a Frog build-around-me, lean into that. If you’re gonna make a keyword tribal card, focus on just one. If you want to make it color-balanced, look at what everything could do together for a flavorful feel.

Nitpicks: Flying comes before double strike.

Amarinthe — Rashmi, Enlivened Artificer

Intent: Temur has a pseudo-foothold in Kaladesh mechanically, so I’m not surprised that Rashmi’s here doing her thing. Giving your cards Jump-start is interesting, as UR has a sort of flashback mechanic, plus the lands from the graveyard work into green quite well. What I really like is the way that the Crucible effect interacts with jump-start. That’s pretty cool design chops. I can see this in a supplemental Commander sphere or even as a Standard mythic for a three-color archetype. It doesn’t seem exceptionally broken on either front. From a purely mechanical perspective, I think you made an awesome card.

Improvement: This card perhaps feels RUG, but it 100% doesn’t feel like Rashmi or a druid. Elves can be artificers on Kaladesh, and that’s not an issue, but you call her an artificer, you type her as a druid (which yes, was her original type when she was more druidic), and you give her a primary ability that’s got basically nothing to do with artifacts or druidic principles. The lands work great with the druid part, but the flavor could be sorted out. I would take out “jump-start” as a keyword and just work in the wording “you may cast from your graveyard” etc., make a new character, and flavor them appropriately. The flavor text should complement the mechanics; as it is, I’m not certain.

Nitpicks: “jump-start” should be lowercase, but it doesn’t really matter if you do end up taking it out. 

@arashisann — Yurlok’s Conflux

Intent: With Yurlok being a new commander hotness, I can see the intent of this card as a Jundian standard/supplemental addendum. The lava flow makes mountains, then the second ability...represents something predatory? And the last is Jund destruction. The R>B>G makes sense there.

Improvement: I don’t know if this card is necessary salvageable as-is; you might be better off making two or three separate cards if you want to show this character. When making a saga, you have to tell a story in a limited form, and it’s hard, absolutely! You represented the lava flow in the first ability quite well, and I do like that a lot. The creature and artifact sacrifice isn’t indicative of anything that I can follow story-wise. Reading the wiki I understand the way that you might want to represent the Thrash dying or Esper being invaded. I don’t believe this is the way to do it. With the very last sentence not doing anything when you’re sacrificing anyway, I don’t believe the best card for you is a saga at all. How could you tell this in an instant or sorcery card, perhaps? The moment that Yurlok comes over the Esper border?

Nitpicks: “non-Mountain;” the land type should be capitalized in both parts, see Quicksilver Fountain. The ability should also be one word. As I mentioned, removing the counters doesn’t do anything mechanically because it’s sacrificed after resolution. Check the MSE Discord if you want to get your text fixed, BTW. I know how frustrating that can be.

@askkrenko — Etherium Restoration

Intent: You know, even without Ed being there, I’m getting a Bruna-ish feel. That’s not a bad thing, it’s just that UW expensive returning stuff kinda has those associations. The fact that the creature is being restored with etherium though is pretty awesome, and you know what, that alone (the return plus the re-artifacting) is a great way to convey what Esper does and wants to do. 

Improvement: The aura and equipment stuff doesn’t grab me, honestly. What do auras have to do with Esper? And the only equipment that I could find that fit was Mask of Riddles. So I’m going to stop here because the obvious answer is that you’re exploring new story design space for what Esper might be. I respect that. With the information we have now, it’s middle-of-the-road. My vote would be to make this (3)(B/W)(U) and make an argument for UW reanimation to artifice overall, then completely drop the aura/equipment part. Plus, gotta say, I know the flavor text is a pop culture thing but you’re messin’ with my favorite plane! Show some respect! /j

Nitpicks: If you do keep that second part, “Aura” and “Equipment” should be capitalized.

@bread-into-toast — Krofor, Corpse Hauler

Intent: It’s a nightmare insect? I’m down. Even without that particular piece of art I can see how people might be afraid of a giant bug. This is pretty evidently a Commander-geared card although I can see how casual brewers might want to throw it down in a combo match and do some graveyard hate. GW graveyard exile and black ability scavaging is pretty cool, so I can see where your intent was with that. Good catch putting “Nightmare” first, too. I almost suggested mixing it around. I like how aggressive this card can be.

Improvement: Firstly, Corpse Hauler is literally another card which already had a self-evident mechanical ability to get creatures back to the hand. Even if it’s an homage, I would distinguish it; besides, it’s not so much “hauling” corpses as it is eating them. Presumably. “All abilities” is a bit of a slippery slope, too. Activated abilities is one thing, but all abilities whatsoever? I’m uncertain if that’s design space you want to tap into, but don’t pull the trigger. My main issue is that you have the activated ability cost “X and W, B or G.” I understand what you were trying to do but that that point you might as well just have it be “1X.” There wouldn’t be anything stopping you from making that mana already. In short, rectify the name to fit flavor, change the ability cost, and be wary of weird interactions with abilities.

Nitpicks: “Lifelink” and “Vigilance” should be lowercase ‘l’ and ‘v’ respectively. The X in the rules text of the activated ability should also be spelled out and not a mana symbol. You can change this in MSE by highlighting, then going to the star next to the bold/italic toggle and turning it off.

@col-seaker-of-the-memiest-legion — Sevala, Exiled Naturalist

Intent: I read up on what happened with Selvala after the events of the first Conspiracy set, and I see how you set off to mimic that, but then I saw the note about the Timeshifting, and yeah, I guess that works.. The green landfall, the red flashback and the white Path come across well. I suppose this is more of an eternal-themed card, although I could be wrong.

Improvement: Yeah, technically there’s nothing stopping you from having a noncreature card as a partnerable card. I’m trying to be diplomatic about the implications, though. Okay. So Selvala’s white aspect was introduced in the first Conspiracy set as she was heavily connected to the citizens of Paliano and worked as a community diplomat against the establishment. She forged a stronger connection to nature and thus became more green in her overhaul of the city. Path to Exile is not in her wheelhouse. She does not exile; she parlays, communes with creatures, seeks out new futures. What exiling magic does she have? What judgement? It doesn’t exist in her character, nor does the redness. Frankly landfall doesn’t really fit her character as well. The point is that even if a character could have a partner that’s a concept (which is antithetical to the mechanic as a whole), the spell you have chosen contrasts with Selvala instead of complementing her. And what does she have to do with flashback anyway? To improve this card, completely restart the conceptual process.

Nitpicks: The character’s name is misspelled. 

@deafeningsandwichpeach — Ilharg, the Craze-Boar

Intent: Ha, I get it. I’m going to go out on a huge limb here, because I mean as much as I like all of this I get the feeling that either the name or art came before the full concept. Nothing wrong with that, because ultimately the card is good. SO. Either this is designed for a Timeshifted set where something really awful happens to our poor Boar God, or, well, something really bad DID happen to him somehow. I’m not sure what the land return represents flavorfully but it’s fine mechanically. The creature return as well is BR and I’m down for that, strong as it is. This card evokes the colors in a way that makes it slightly different than Jund; maybe it’s the art but I’m getting Innistrad vibes from him, the madness returning, the pain going on inside his head. It’s neat. Again, massive stretch though, let’s be real.

Improvement: And with that in mind, I wouldn’t have made him Ilharg. Honestly, this should’ve been a new character, and I would have been a lot more generous. I don’t really get what Ilharg as a whole even in an alternate timeline has to do with lands returning considering that he’s a big ol’ nasty city destroyer. Mechanically, this card needs to cost like EIGHT mana. The card you return from your graveyard to the battlefield stays there, and with a big enough graveyard you don’t have to worry about getting things from your hand anymore. Turns 1-4 dump all your creatures, turn five get the best of them if not earlier? Pretty busted in any format. For eight mana I wouldn’t complain.

Nitpicks: “up to two land cards,” not “lands.” Question: why isn’t he a God?

@deg99 — Radiant Return (JUDGE PICK)

Intent: Black reanimation, white attachment, red hastiness. All the colors are definitely there! There’s something Mardu-not-Mardu about this RWB card, and I think I like it. I could see it as a standard card, definitely, or as a commander staple for a really interesting commander. I’m honestly not sure exactly what kind of deck would really appreciate this card right now! Keskit/Akiri? The Auras part is a little more interesting. Ardenn/Vial...Smasher? The fact that it defies current archetypes but still makes sense is very cool to me. I also wonder what a standard expansion in which RWB auraquipment is an archetype would look like now.

Improvement: A little flavor text could make this work one degree better. It’s really on me that  you went into the future with this card, isn’t it. There’s no major improvement to be made besides that. Consider contextualizing for future contests, perhaps? When necessary, anyway.

Nitpicks: “Return target...to the battlefield, then attach any number of Auras and/or Equipment you control to it...etc.” Don’t need the trigger.

@demimonde-semigoddess — Seaglide Whaler

Intent: A pirate’s life for me! So we got an aggressive tempo-y pirate person with a decent couple of sharpshooter abilities. Blue sirens are certainly reasonable, as are Grixis pirates. I like the notion that it has to attack to “survey” and then take whatever shots it makes. I don’t think Ixalan could have had this card but honestly the future is a place where anything could happen.

Improvement: The problem with these colors is that in practical terms, the second mode is strictly black and yet can be played in an Izzet deck. Hybrid is a weird mistress. As much as these abilities might neatly tie into the three colors, hybrid makes deck construction nearly impossible. You can have a pinger in UB or a Fatal Blow in UR, both of which are either severe bends or breaks. Making this a straight UBR 3/1 flier could have been okay, perhaps, or having on-color activations, but as it is now, hybrid makes things hard. Consider looking at a Venn diagram between UB and UR to consider more appropriate abilities?

Nitpicks: Kathari Bomber implies the second mode to be “...damage this turn and sacrifice Seaglide Whaler.”

@dimestoretajic — The Dark Tendril

Intent: Sultai skulk-lord could be a fun card to open and build around in limited, and a BUG defender-y deck could have some fun application. I like how you’ve made the new character and sort of done another take on treefolk.

Improvement: For this contest, I don’t feel a strong color balance in this card. Skulk was a weird black/blue centered mechanic, sure, and green assigns the toughness, but… This feels like it’s trying to make skulk look cool rather than address the issue that skulk was just plain not a good mechanic. I get where the color weight is supposed to be but the whole thing is shadowed by that underlying desire. If this card had just been “Creatures you control can’t be blocked by creatures with greater power” and the other stuff, on a name/type that was more resonant, then I think it could have been a stronger contender. I don’t understand the world in which “The Dark Tendril” lives. I don’t understand why it’s a treefolk. I would get rid of naming skulk, make the type more apparent, and give the character some character.

Nitpicks: Three-colored cards really should have a gold border, not a hybrid one. Also, promo frames tend not to have flavor text (with exceptions for cards with no rules text like Memnite).

@driftingthruthecosmos — Ulti, Sudden Conjurer

Intent: I like that triggered ability because it’s got some smooth flow over it. GU has its flash aspect, but black also likes destructive instants, and then the Disentomb-effect fits nicely into a payoff that feels black for sure. I also like how you’re using the three colors to push the card into a really neat 3/3 aggressive creature. Flash and deathtouch literally only show up together in these three colors but not together—and here you are changing that on a powerful legend!

Improvement: But the fact that she can only return creatures with flash is kind of a bummer. Sure there are plenty of cards that could work with her, and having some Ambush Viper casual tribal wouldn’t be too bad, but it’s still limiting. I would have implied that she works with flash, or let players work with flash, without being so specific about it, and I feel that the card would be improved with implied flash tribal over explicit in this case. Additionally, what on earth is that last ability doing? Each end step, you have to sacrifice a creature or lose one of your potential targets for her trigger? I have the feeling that you may have been too cautious to push power levels here. If you want to limit her, have it be “Whenever you cast your first spell during each opponent’s turn…” or something, and axe that last part.

Nitpicks: “unless you sacrifice a nontoken creature.” Full stop, you can never sacrifice creatures you don’t control so adding “you control” is redundant.

@dumbellsndragons — Gorvax, Lich of the Horde

Intent: It’s a Mardu zombie orc wizard. At this point, you’re already doing something right for the Timmies out there. The first ability has Tainted Remedy plus some crazy draw after that, and oh man, it’s begging to be punishing. “I’m gonna Heliod’s Intervention you. Deck yourself. Runeflare Trap. Molten Psyche.” But also, that second ability? You can Bolt during an opponent’s turn and turn it into a one-red-mana Ancient Craving. For mythic, to build around? I honestly think that that’s perfectly fine. And insanely powerful.

Improvement: There’s weird stuff going on, but the hard part is that I don’t know if there’s things to improve. Giving your spells lifelink has Jeskai precedent, but it’s not NOT black. Doing a little digging, I can see that there are indeed zombies and even liches on Tarkir, but only in Sultai… But there’s no reason that the Mardu wouldn’t have them, right? Hm, maybe “Victory or Death” gets muddled here. Wizard, though, that’s a sticking point. And frankly, the whole “Lich” thing. I don’t see the lichiness in the abilities or the wizardry in the Mardu. You know what would be dumb fun? Ditching the Mardu aspect and making this WUBR. Wouldn’t fit the contest but what a friggin’ commander.

Nitpicks: None!

@emmypupcake — Knight of Summer’s Vigor

Intent: I was surprised to see that there are actually quite a few green Knights. It makes sense, of course, considering both Eldraine and Bant and Selesnya. So yeah, an elf knight who makes more knights? This is a powerful card with some crazy abilities if it gets out of control at all, but the color restrictions and the lack of substantial evasion ensure that it’s not busted out of the gate. The name’s pretty good, too! Oh, Knight of New Alara...

Improvement: For this contest, I don’t feel color blending as much. Tokens with GW and knights with R(W) are fine, yeah, but aside from that, the colors of the tokens and the general feeling of the card isn’t enough to really excite me. I do want to see a set in which this card could exist, perhaps, with multicolored knights and elves and whatnot. I don’t have any real improvements for this card; I just don’t think it stands out against some of the weirdness. Keep it around and add some flavor text. Consider: what would you like for this set to be? In what world would these knights exist? Why is summer important?

Nitpicks: “Whenever,” not “when.” See Pollenbright Wings

@evscfa1 — Estrid, the Unmasker

Intent: The Commander sets with shard Planeswalkers did give us a lot to work with but not a lot of extra stuff, so it makes sense that people might pick up on them for the contest. White auras, exile, and taxing all make sense mechanically. I feel that this is more standard than supplemental, a little weirdness for the way that the specific tokens and all would want to work. I don’t mind that part, honestly. Bringing Estrid back would be fine by me, even as monocolored. 

Improvement: Because, well, this is a mono-white card. The +1 creates white Auras (that don’t do anything, so that’s an issue), the -2 is close to Generous Gift, and the -8 is an enchantment-oriented Hum of the Radix, like a twist between Sphere of Safety and Aura of Silence. None of these abilities feel anything but white. The emblem is arguably UW, but not by much. With Auras that don’t do anything and a color identity that doesn’t mechanically contribute to the card, I feel that you can either keep her and buff some of the abilities or try to make her feel more in line with the contest, which you don’t really have to do at this point. I’m also worried about the name and the ability tie-ins. Estrid doesn’t “unmask” at all, does she? She’s a mask user, not a revealer of truth or any of the things “unmasking” would imply. Why would she make a False Mask? Is this some alternate storyline? If so, I don’t really understand what changed, or why.

Nitpicks: “*Its controller” in the -2, “*get an emblem” in the -8.

@fractured-infinity — Rhythm of Death (rare)

Intent: Red (/black) gains first strike, black (/green) has deathtouch, green (/red kind of) has lure. Everything’s coming together in a kind of keyword soup, so that’s all well and good! In limited someone who opens this will be very, very happy to make people cry. In casual Commander, it’s sure to help make negotiations.

Improvement: In terms of this contest, yeah, this isn’t really buttering my radishes. It’s there, it’s pretty standard, and it makes sense. There are two cards that have first strike and deathtouch and four more that can gain it naturally and all but one are in those colors. And that wouldn’t be a problem if this card was presented differently. I’m ignoring the art for now because it’s actually distracting here. What is the “rhythm?” Is something being given the rhythm? What’s repeating, cycled, constant? What about a rhythm gives the creature these abilities? Change the name, flavor it up, get some text in there, and use blank art. 

Nitpicks: “Enchant creature (lowercase) >> Enchanted creature has first strike and deathtouch, and must be blocked if able.” Take that with a grain of salt, though. Protective Bubble might have it say “Enchanted creature must be blocked if able and has first strike and deathtouch.” Or you can cut the middleman and make it two lines: “Enchanted creature has first strike and deathtouch. // Enchanted creature must be blocked if able.”

@gollumni — Exotic Wings

Intent: It’s interesting that we have two back-to-back “must be blocked” cards (hm, no shorthand?) in a row, both Auras no less, but very different. I like your flavor use with the wings being a status symbol, bright and glittery, and therefore turning the creature into irresistible prey of sorts. Aura colors are good, and the solid green effect is in there as well. The mechanics fit a pretty standard-ly powerful draft uncommon that can be used for beating down when necessary. 

Improvement: I’m 90% sure that right now GW doesn’t get flying by itself anymore, or at least very rarely. Pollenbright Wings and Shield of the Oversoul exist, so I’m on the fence. Maybe I’m biased with recent printings, but for two mana I’m not sure it’s what GW would need. That said, I’m sure there’s dissent and arguments to be made, and yes, I know its full color identity includes blue; this is pragmatic. I think this could have been solidly WUG with another buff, perhaps, but that just would have made it favorable for this contest and honestly it’s up to playtesting to see if those colors need a cheap flying aura. But the wings. The flavor. I… So these wings belong to birds, naturally? Who is summing this enchantment for mating? This is some kind of buff or boon that most any creature could have so in what world is some enchant-o-mancer giving “do me” wings to Mx. Passerby?? But, this may be just a quirk of the game, yeh?

Nitpicks: None!

@hiygamer — Etherium Replicator (JUDGE PICK)

Intent: Major kudos for making my look up Prototype Portal and seeing that my gut was wrong and that you DID use the right wording! This is a super-Esper card, more than any of the imprinted cards and honestly a great use of the art. Thopter Foundry is a great card but this one isn’t a bad use and would kind of make sense. Now, I’m not going to put this in improvements, because I want to ask a question: could this card be just plain UW? Possibly, but also consider: this card could be just a straight-up artifact as well, and it feels better how it is now. Why? Because the black invokes a different feeling. It invokes consumption, recycling, progress, larceny, calculation. It’s a very blue side of black. And it also feels, well, Esper! Its an established use of theme!... Honestly it’s probably more that. But I like it anyway. I’d say my bias was showing but none of the winners necessarily invoked Alara straight-up so thpt.

Improvement: There are mostly just wording errors. To be honest, if you’re getting something big, could this card be three mana? That’s probably pushing it, but worth testing. Multicolor custom cube time.

Nitpicks: “enterS the battlefield” (tense), “artifact or creature” (instead of the other way around), and most importantly: “Create a token that’s a copy of A CARD exiled with Etherium Replicator” etc. Because you can copy the ETB trigger and/or use shenanigans to exile other cards.

@hypexion — Ferrari, Sharp Scrapper

Intent: Well if my eyes don’t deceive me, it’s another Esper card! And an artifact-y card? Hm, artifact-enchant-y card. It’s easy to see the designation between colors, with self-mill and the lifegain going into black but leaning towards all three colors, the second ability being straight Disenchant, and the last one being an interesting UB pseudo-reanimation on the cheap, which is super interesting and aggressive. I can see this card intended as either a standard staple or being used as a supplemental planeswalker face card. There’d be a heavy amount of artifacts and enchantments for sure, probably artifact creatures.

Improvement: Did I miss something? When did WUB start caring about enchantments as a multicolor wedge identity? Alela and Zur have their thing, sure, but are those the baseline now? I’m more head-scratching and 0% mad, honestly. As a flavorful card, though, I’m not sure what you’re conveying exactly. So they get rid of stuff and they’re happy when they find garbage, but sometimes they want to scrap things they don’t like, but then they can recreate some of your garbage? Let’s back up and say that this card isn’t a Scrapper and that they’re an artifact/enchantment person. In the most general sense, I don’t really feel a harmony of ideas. The card feels one-note, like there’s very little to do besides abuse the -2 ability and maybe the -1 to get rid of some big thing on the table. The +1 exists to serve the -2, and the -1 feels like it’s trying to be protective for protection’s sake. I don’t know why this character does the things they do through the card. As utility planeswalkers become more abundant, the things they do have to be more resonant; imagine a fully-built world and put your card in the middle. No card is a metaphorical island.

Nitpicks: I think (maybe) that the +1 could be: “Mill up to three cards, then you gain 3 life for each artifact and/or enchantment card milled this way.”

@i-am-the-one-who-wololoes — Corpse Spell

Intent: I think you made this very apparent. As a counterspell, it does the job well, and then it lets you get an idea for free! The choice of casting a noncreature spell is particularly interesting, as it plays into this weird and not-really-that-common theme of transfiguration. Obviously polymorphing appears in blue and red but it feels black because of the flavor you’ve chosen to convey. That’s a great job.

Improvement: The big mechanical thing is that I would 100% make this let you case an instant, sorcery or creature instead of just a “noncreature spell.” These colors don’t really feel like they could transmute a creature into something that’s not an idea or, well, a corpse, and it really seems as though that’s the idea you’re going for. The big flavor thing, though, is the name. I really and truly don’t know what you’re trying to convey. Now, I’m aware that English isn’t your first language, and that’s a barrier that I’m not sure how to cross for this kind of criticism. “Corpse Spell” seems like a playtest name. As a concept, this card is great. As a submission, I’m still having to extrapolate a lot; most importantly, it doesn’t tell me how the caster is using the magic to turn a creature into something else. Work on telling that story, and when possible, use native speakers to help get ideas across.

Nitpicks: I think the wording would be: “Counter target creature spell. You may cast target noncreature card with converted mana cost less than or equal to that spell’s converted mana cost  from your graveyard without paying its mana cost, and if that card would be put into your graveyard this turn, exile it instead.” Because if you exile it as it resolves and it’s, like, an artifact or planeswalker, what’s the point? Hence my note about instants/sorceries and maybe other creatures.

@ignorantturtlegaming — Draxys, Scourge Eternal

Intent: This card absolutely fits the elemental shell. It feels to me like a standard or CMR-style bomb mythic that hits the table and kinda goes nuts. I mean, it wouldn’t be your commander probably, but in Conspiracy-style? Man. Multiplayer draft, that’s what I mean. It gets cards, it gets counters, it deals damage, then Blitz Hellion-s away. It does indeed feel like a blend of all the crazy things that come in these colors, and you did that much very well. It’s not broken, but it’s powerful, and it’s repeatedly monstrous (not the mechanic, lol) with the fear that it’ll return (until someone Doom Blades it, but that’s the game for ya). Great feeling of a massive beautiful monster.

Improvement: Really, the one thing I would do to improve it would be to consolidate the second and third triggers into “When Draxys enters the battlefield, draw four cards, put four +1/+1 counters on it, then it deals 4 damage divided as you choose among any number of creatures and/or planeswalkers.” No, wait—why not make it an 8/8 and just have it draw cards and deal damage? Because of its massive cost, you’re not gonna play it and then activate Wheel of Fortune in the same turn unless you’re playing some crazy massive game, and then it just shuffles away anyway! So, my suggestion would be to make this one massive bomb when it hits and really get the Timmy out of it.

Nitpicks: None!

@jsands84 — Quarrel, Tariff Enforcer

Intent: The colors are obvious enough, right? A sphinx (blue) based on taxing and punishing (white) to make your opponents lose life (black). Couldn’t be simpler. The color weight is reminiscent of standard cards like Ultimatum cycles but heck, we’ve seen weirder commander cards in the past. I like the fact that even though the color weight is really heavy, the keywords support that kind of aggression without being too overbearing like we’ve seen in other chase rares and mythics.

Improvement: That said, I don’t think it needs that weight at all. 3WUB would have done the exact same and it wouldn’t have looked awkward. Why would it need that weight in the first place? Well, perhaps if it entered the battlefield with an amazing immediate effect. And this card, well, it doesn’t. You have a great eye for flavor and the fact that a legendary (read:uniquely adept) sphinx is enforcing the tax laws of the universe? 10/10. But it doesn’t need that kind of punishment, especially considering, like, the effect really doesn’t come up outside of vintage. So yeah, reduce the weight.

Nitpicks: In the flavor text, “their” referring to the universe is kind of an odd pronoun. With most cases IIRC the concept is objectified instead of personalized, see Aether Adept. (Also there aren’t many cards with ‘universe’ in the flavor text, surprisingly.)

@justincase-1012 — Startling Wisp

Intent: Illusions are almost entirely blue (and one of only two illusions with zero blue in its box is Esper-centric, funnily enough) so that’s all interesting, but this is definitely breaking from the artifact theme and going for color flavor. The fact that it is the one doing the startling is somewhat black, but the discard definitely is. Because of the narrowness of this ability, I feel that it’s intended to be a draft/standard oriented card as opposed to eternal breadth. A 1/1 flying indestructible spirit in these colors is honestly pretty fair and ghostly!

Improvement: This card is too narrow to be common but definitely too specific to be rare, and that narrowness really is...weird. It doesn’t just require noncombat damage, but it requires noncombat damage from creatures. Why? “The next time a source would deal noncombat damage to you or another creature you control this turn” would be perfectly reasonable. Also, why the next phase? Just have it say “Then, if ~ is on the battlefield, return it to its owner’s hand.” The timing doesn’t feel necessary. And honestly, I don’t find this card “startling” much. It’s alluring, certainly, but not startling. Consider renaming and tightening the focus. Too narrow and things just get ugly.

Nitpicks: So you do need “this turn” as I said above, and then looking at other printed oracle text: “that damage is dealt to ~ instead” etc. etc. 

@kytheon4-4 — Surrak of New Atarka

Intent: Surrak was a three-color monster the last time we saw him, and he’s back in action now and reclaiming his colors. This is definitely meant to be a commander of sorts, hyper-aggressive with some awesome combat to boot. The first ability’s Gleam of Battle is really aggressively costed here but it makes sense in a timeline when he’s reclaimed some kind of new unity. And of course, the callbacks to both Tarkir timelines is there and well and good. Color-wise, your choice to then go ahead and make a future new timeline is really interesting and I can feel that sort of “new ‘Naya’” blood pumping in Surrak’s veins.

Improvement: The first damage trigger is great, if pretty pushed for Naya colors. The second clause is… Well, call it a “winmore” if you want, but it really is a winmore. Big creatures are big and that’s okay, but if they’re that big and dealing damage, then an indestructible counter is kind of adding insult to injury. And frankly, why not combine these all into one trigger, so that the Gleam ability is just a little less pushed? Whenever the creature deals damage, THEN it gets a counter, and IF it’s four or greater THEN you draw a card, and THEN if it’s eight or greater, something weird happens.

Nitpicks: None!

@mardu-lesbian — Contentious Pair

Intent: A white Soldier, a red Goblin, and a deathtouch counter, and yep, the gang’s all here. Token-making in red and white is pretty standard, a little less for BR and more heavily in the white part of WB, but all the same there’s nothing wrong with that appearing in the three-color combo. It’s interesting you went for a post-Conflux kind of deal with Alara...wedges? Really unique. This is most definitely designed to be a common card for a standard expansion, meant to be drafted and whatnot. It implies a lot about the potential future!

Improvement: I’m unsure how you came up with these colors and creature types. Bant, the shard of soldiers, and Jund, of Goblins, do have one shared color: green. But then this card would have been what, white-green-red? And that’s problematic in another way, and I get that. As it stands, though, this feels heavily weighted towards BR and less towards white, and honestly, this feels definitely uncommon. You get two bodies at instant speed, one of which will most likely destroy an attacking creature. Instant deathtouch isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and it’s been in standard for a bit. The bodies and potential permanent deathtouch when you have an empty board is what raises the complexity. My flavor question: why are they contentious? Makes me feel like we’re seeing the start of the story more than a split-second moment; this card might feel better as an uncommon sorcery.

(Also, I’m just imagining them coming over a mountain at instant-speed during combat, and the soldier and the goblin are just talking about their differences and the goblin is showing off their poison dagger when a beast just WHAMS into them and they both instantly die as the soldier looks on in shock and horror. I do love it when cards tell weird stories.)

Nitpicks: None, I don’t think.

@misterstingyjack — Galtiber, Segovian Titan

Intent: Ah, the memes. Well, still, 1/1 tribal is an interesting take on the whole build-around-me dealio. I can honestly say I’m unsure where this card would fit, but that’s not a bad thing. It feels build-around me, but could it work in a limited environment? You’d need a higher as-fan of 1/1s or tokens, and that’s not a bad thing. Honestly, this card doesn’t feel too bad. He’s a protector and he makes them all work together. It’s a neat little design that captures the diligence, unity and edification of these citizens.

Improvement: I really can’t think of a place where this card would see play, though, and the issue is? There’s no real way to improve that past putting this in a pretty bonkers set where it can either go nuts or be mediocre. There are a lot of cool things you can do with this card, but where does he fit? Segovia is a weird plane and designing for it is hard. I love this card and would love to build with it but the fact is that it’s just going to be weird. I’ll put this in nitpicks, but there’s wording issues. Additionally, talking about the character by name in the flavor text is a little off-putting to me. I’m sure it’s happened before but the story feels like a moment being described more than a character.

Nitpicks: “Creatures you control with base power and toughness 1/1” is the correct way to word these things, Iiii think.

@morbidlyqueerious — Ricantha, Ribbon-Dancer (mythic) (JUDGE PICK)

Intent: As much as this technically could be someone’s general, I like this card as a standard-legal mythic, like Kethis or Yarok. It’s surprisingly easy to understand while being quite powerful in its own way. I wouldn’t call it a Voltron card so much as I would call it a control bomb, certainly for limited. The white-blue deals with the tapping, more the blue with the freezing, and the alluring aspect and keywords fill in the green. It brings a lot of the multicolored feel even with a monocolor activated ability. 

Improvement: You know, the flavor almost outshines the color aspect. Looking back I do see the intent, but I’m also mostly seeing an interesting take on the dancing and the enchanting aspect. They’re vigilant, they ‘tie down’ the creatures, and they make other creatures follow them. Honestly, this is a case of “right card wrong contest,” where you made a great card to convey the specific act of ribbon-dancing and a dance leader so much that it overtakes the intent of color. The jokingly biting way of saying this is that you didn’t pander to me as a judge enough (/s). I don’t know about reach; first strike, maybe, to show their agility?

Nitpicks: The combat trigger should be one sentence, see the oracle on Kamigawa snakes.

@mtg-ds — Majak, Revival Instigator (JUDGE PICK)

Intent: Now I wouldn’t call this a gimmick card but I would say that there’s a lot going on here, again, with the flavor. Sacrificing each other creature actually feels white in a Cataclysmic way but with a black edge of making all the zombies. Hasty zombies fills in the red and plays into the instigative aspect, and man, getting everyone out onto the dance floor? I’ll admit that this card is kind of silly with the art, but there’s something unusually cathartic about it. He enters, turns them all into zombies, makes them dance, then whenever someone else dies they join the dance, and when he leaves the music stops. Like, it’s kind of brilliant, how the zombies can’t dance without him. As a flavorful card for a supplemental set I think that you did a fantastic job.

Improvement: My first small note is that the art is again really distracting, and like, I understand that that might’ve been the purpose but “zombie dance party” out of context feels a little unusual, and the name “Revival Instigator” is a touch on the nose. But those are small concerns next to the fact that this card really could have been black/red and wouldn’t have made that much of a difference. Could’ve even kept the Cleric typing. Again, I need to also say that this card is downright fantastic mechanically, but just not quite white there for the purposes of this contest. Keep this card as-is, maybe make him a Human IMO. I don’t have any significant improvements.

Nitpicks: None!

@naban-dean-of-irritation — Tamakoma, Spectral Shiver (JUDGE PICK)

Intent: Clever clogs, I looked up that name and it is indeed fitting! Very clever you are, just as clever as giving the UB flash ninja ETB feeling that strikes fear into the heart of those who don’t know she’s coming. White’s got the spirit flash and indestructible, black’s got deathtouch, flash, AND indestructible, and blue’s got the ninja feeling. Something tells me this would totally be a supplemental card unless Kamigawa goes three-colors, but to be honest I get a MH1 vibe more, and that’s okay too. Major kudos for making me double-check cards like Ambuscade Shaman for this weird wording.

Improvement: I can see how this card would be white flavorfully; I think its just precedent working against you. Because of the way that black has been encroaching upon indestructible in the past couple years, this card could just be blue-black and fit into the ninja feeling just as well. I personally like the white spirit aspect. It’s just not as present here as I would have liked for this contest. Great card, no mechanical improvements.

Nitpicks: I don’t know if “the hollows of the night” are, like, a thing? I don’t know, just as a writer it reads weird to me. One day I’ll be accredited and that won’t seem like such a jackass comment too.

@nine-effing-hells —  Llanlaia Rywh, the Inmost Eye

Intent: I like your take on elves here, using the focus and mood to turn the ordinarily green elves into some warrior monastery funky stuff. I’m getting the sense of a cave world, or some kind of twisted plane where expectations are thwarted and the different races of Magic have to find their own kind of way around. Definitely a face card for the tribe in whatever set it’s based in. 

Improvement: There’s no blue and black here, or at least I’m not feeling it mechanically, and for this contest that’s the most important thing. Giving a Runed Halo effect on a pump is really darn powerful, and to have this dismiss any damage or removal at instant speed is definitely powerful and definitely white. The concept of looking within for meditation is a bit blue, sure, but I don’t see that expressed on this card as much. I do have some major presentation issues. The name is almost completely unpronounceable, so consider shortening it and cleaning it significantly. The flavor text is also in need of shortening and edits. “Look within to look around.” With a hint that the elves are blind, boom, you’re golden. So: name change, flavor paring, and consider that this card feels overall white. That said, for flavor and balance reasons for this card, keeping those colors is fine. Also consider that this is a really damn powerful beater.

Nitpicks: None that I can tell.

@partlycloudy-partlyfuckoff — Everlasting Forefather

Intent: Here’s the thing: I’ll get to stuff in the ‘improvements’ section but mechanically, this card is really interesting for a number of flavorful reasons. Three-mana 4/3 with mentor is perfectly powerful in these colors, that’s great, flavorfully fine as a forefather. Creating two spirits upon death, awesome, those are the embodiments of his students and ideals, and most importantly, play into the embalm, where his zombie can teach the spirits after death and makes for great flying beaters, AND that Zombie token will make more spirits in remembrance. The use of flavorful mechanics gives it an interesting edge even if all these individual mechanics could be in mono-white.

Improvement: One, I would personally make this a warrior, but that’s super minor. Two… I can’t think of any reason outside a custom set where you’d have three non-evergreen mechanics from three different sets and two different planes on the same card. It feels like a custom card, not in the sense that it’s at all thoughtless or amateurish, because it’s not, but because there’s no way of making these pieces come together in a meaningful way; it feels like you’re removing the restrictions on what can go together for the sake of it. MH1 did have some mechanical mashups and we’ve explored that before. This feels like a bit too much for what we’re looking for. Honestly, for a custom multicolor cube or w/e, keep this card. But you might also want to consider MSE or having someone render for you, because with the VERY necessary rules text, this one takes up a lot of text; no room for flavor, and no need, ‘cause you do it all naturally anyway.

Nitpicks: Mm, none, I don’t think!

@reaperfromtheabyss — Glorified Minddrinker (JUDGE PICK)

Intent: This is definitely asking to be in a standard/draftable set as a tribal beater. You give it evasion, you use other vampires/warlocks to mess stuff up, you get in, and you drink. BW vampire lifegain meets the milling, and there you have it. What I really like is the fact that it’s “any card,” like Bloodchief Ascension, but that feels blue, because they’re drinking from the mind and not just the body, and I dunno, I REALLY like that kind of neat flavor niche. I also love how this makes a really roundabout already-exploited infinite combo with Sanguine Bond and Mindcrank, both of which are halves of other better combos.

Improvement: Mechanically, there’s nothing to improve here, except you might want to consider some kind of evasion. I think there’s just the nitpick of having “Glorified” in there without any understanding of what makes this creature glorified or why. A snippet of flavor could have helped with that, and with only two abilities. I don’t know, this one just didn’t pop to me for some reason. It’s a perfectly fine submission, and it just needs a little more pop.

Nitpicks: None! Nice and clear.

@shootingstarhunter — Storm Key

Intent: I find it interesting that the mana made from sacrificing is red but the abilities have a central Riku-like fascination. This feels like a supplemental card for sure, although I’m sure there are standard shenanigans. It would require a set in which RUG/Temur has an artifact theme and in which giving things storm is on the table. I have the feeling that in a genuinely competitive Maelstrom Wanderer deck that this card could turn a possible win into a guaranteed win. It’s there to help big things be bigger, but without a win-more feel, and I like that.

Improvement: In terms of this contest, it lacks elegance in its cohesion. The flavors don’t necessarily blend as well as they could. There’s a lot of rules text that emphasizes the separation rather than blending it together. My suggestions: Make it just cost RUG, no generic, reword the first ability to be: “When ~ is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, add R for each spell you’ve cast this turn,” and the second ability to “5, T, Sacrifice ~: When you cast your next instant, sorcery or creature spell this turn, copy it for each spell you’ve cast before it this turn.” And then add reminder text about targets and permanents. A tiny bit more flexible and less text, and you can add in some flavor. Personally I don’t really get the “Key” aspect. It feels more like a big machine of sorts.

Nitpicks: Remember to capitalize “Sacrifice” in the ability costs. Second reminder text should be “You don’t choose new targets for the copies.” I think, there’s not much precedent. Check the MSE Discord for tech help in getting your name/type text straightened out if you’d like.

@snugz — Erratic Polymorph (JUDGE PICK)

Intent: This does feel very wild, more of the Temur frontier or even the Ketria triome. Either one of those sets getting a return could have this, or a supplemental draft set on that world, or a commander product aimed at those timelines. This card’s pretty flexible in that sense! The red lack of control over twisty magic is definitely evident, with the green bear and the blue otters as representative of those sides of the wild. I like how you took blue’s natural sense and made it river/forest oriented. Big boys and little boys do different kinds of cool damage. I can dig it! (Although I’m more inclined to bears than otters myself…)

Improvement: I wouldn’t call this “elegant” as a primary adjective for its color balance, even though it’s very neat still overall. The obviousness of green being bears and blue being otters doesn’t take away from the fact that both of them make sense. The long and short is that I don’t have card improvements, and this card’s just for a different contest.

Nitpicks: None-zo

@starch255 — Dopplicant

Intent: Very clever, I see. You used white’s enchantment base for the card type even though it’s a strictly red and blue ability. Copying any spells is on the table now with Lithoform Engine so that makes sense. This could be in just about any set with these colors, and you know what, that’s perfectly fine. Jeskai, Raugrin (ugh), or otherwise, there’s cool stuff happening.

Improvement: With a vague name and flavor, it’s easy to have this card be a thumbs-up mechanically, but what...exactly is it? It’s name makes me think of the creature Duplicant, which is fine, makes sense, although it’s not a creature here like any of the other “-cant” cards. I just can’t place it, which is obviously a presentation thing over a mechanical issue. For the Fair, presentation is somewhat important, and also contextualizes your cards. It might just be a “me” thing to keep in mind for when I’m judging, so don’t take it personally at all. I think the idea is sound and all we need is polish.

Nitpicks: None~

@stormtide-leviathan — Jeskai Confluence

Intent: Like the confluences of C15, this is a charm-like modal spell with three pretty standard modes for the colors: blue draw, red damage, white erase. I can see this being part of either a standard return to that other timeline or as part of a “clan clash” supplemental set for sure. 

Improvement: In the main post, there were examples like Shattergang Brothers that were posted as technically fine but not elegant. Totally separating your colors and abilities was part of that, breaking the cohesion. Unfortunately, charm effects were most definitely part of that area. I know that Magic design space isn’t eternally open, and I hate to say this, but because this card uses 2/3 abilities already found on the printed confluences and only minorly changes the damage, this feels somewhat derivative. I would go back to the drawing board and look at overlap rather than individualization, what the colors could have done together to make a card that creates something unique.

Nitpicks: There should be a period after “once” instead of an emdash.

@thedirtside — Twisted Design

Intent: I think that with Tezzeret being who he is and with the cool trend of colored artifacts, this card could absolutely find play in a variety of places. It feels almost like a story card, someone’s terrible (well, twisted) creation. That much is absolutely apparent. The counter/exile is definitely blue and black-ish but I like how the theft kind of ends up being red as well and the artifact typing helps with that. Flavor text is pretty okay too. Short, simple.

Improvement: That...second ability. Are you choose a card as part of a cost? I’m no rules guru but I’m almost certain that you can’t do that. And it doesn’t specify the speed, so you can basically pay the (very fair) cost to exile the spell, but then very unfairly get it back anytime you want. Why random, too? What if that spell has other random restrictions or no legal targets? There’s a lot to unpack from that with no printed precedent because, to put it bluntly, it doesn’t work within the rules. I really like the idea of having a card where you can somehow steal, twist, or morph their spells into new nightmares or futures. Work with that idea to make something URBy that, well, works rules-wise.

Nitpicks: It took me a bit to find your source photo with your source link (X), and I don’t even think that blog’s using proper permission. Here’s the gist: if you can’t find the original photographer, either go stock or don’t use art, OR find a source that’s more easily traceable. Pretend that you’re someone who has to find the source working backwards.

@walker-of-the-yellow-path — Ziziphus, the Lotus Eater

Intent: I could never be like him, I could never talk like that. Also, thank you for making this explicitly commander-based, heh. Food tokens are interesting, and I can see the token art already as well as the kind of person you might imagine Ziziphus to be. Oddly enough, they feel Therosian, considering the “lotus eaters” in the Odyssey, and that’s not a bad thing I suppose. Food’s sort of in the green area, with blue-white profiteering, and the general combat lull sort of encapsulating the whole GWU-ish control feeling. Turbo-fog ahoy.

Improvement: Competitive commander gets shut down pretty easily and casual commander becomes almost instantly unfun. It’s an instant-speed everyone-gets-it nigh-uncounterable Pacifism array that’s flavorfully understandable but puts a target on you as the one person to kill if anyone wants this game to ever end. I understand the top-down design but it’s impractical and I don’t see a game where this being your commander would make the gameplay better. So like Gwafa Hazid, consider your design: what would entice people to take the food? What’s the payoff? How often do you want this to happen to improve gameplay without causing staleness? Is food where you want to go, using lifegain to then further prolong the game?... Oh. Oh, someone can also just lorus-ify Ziziphus itself and then nothing happens in this version. That’s something to consider.

Nitpicks: The name’s really similar to “Sisyphus” in pronunciation. I was distracted.

@whuh-oh — Tainted Lightninghorn

Intent: Some day, I think we’re gonna get a five-color Lightning Blankemental kind of card, and I can’t wait for it. So yeah, it’s an aggressive predatory insect elemental with nasty sauce, and I feel this in a supplemental set for sure. 

Improvement: So as an uncommon, it’s already pretty pushed, too much so. Ball Lightning set a precedent, and it’s a rare for a reason, honestly. That much power even for four mana with the abilities you’ve given it is a but much. For this card, most importantly, I need to be as clear as I can: The interaction between deathtouch and trample is an unintuitive quirk of the game. They do not belong on the same card with zero restrictions, especially not on an uncommon. Sometimes it’s okay to just make a cool card because it’s cool. I like my weird cards, I like my weird interactions. Forcing them feels like choosing indulgence over good design. I’m not feeling the uniqueness of the colors, I’m not feeling the flavor (why does lightning leave decay?), and I’m not feeling the gameplay. Where do we go from here? I think this general concept is fine for a personal set or a supplemental concept. Contextualize it for that area, look at environmental answers, and then see if you want to play with what the colors do.

Nitpicks: I’m 90% sure it’d go “Deathtouch, haste, menace, trample.” Also, I’m sure someone pointed out the whole flying-without-flying thing for the art, that’s very mildly distracting.

@wolkemesser — Murmurs of the Bosk

Intent: Yeah, this is very much a Lorwyn-inspired card, and I’m happy for that. Both the treefolk flavor and the permanent return are green, returning to the battlefield is white and black, and the white enchantment plus toughness matters (also in green) gives this card a magnificent flow of feeling, the trees returning. I can see this in any set, but especially a standard return to Lorwyn, and yet it could have a home in several cool recursion decks! It’s a nice little addition for both lovers of slow return and for treefolk fans.

Improvement: This card was going to be a runner-up or even a judge pick, but the severity of nitpicks grew until I realized that there were just too many problems to give it full commendation. I’ll put the revised wording in the ‘nitpicks’ bar and get to the big ones: the name, and the flavor text. The name is obviously an homage to Murmuring Bosk, right? That’s understandable, but the name is literally so close that I can’t think of anything else. The difference between being honoring and being derivative is enigmatic at times. This particular case is more evident. And the flavor text is almost completely ripped off from Doran’s card itself. Literally, it keeps the order and adds four words that don’t add sense or depth to the character. For future submissions, keep that in mind. As a mechanical suggestion, you could just have it be the greatest toughness without targeting, and it does need to target the card in the graveyard.

Nitpicks: “At the beginning of your upkeep, you may return target permanent card with converted mana cost X or less from your graveyard to the battlefield, where X is the greatest toughness among creatures you control.”

Join us tomorrow, for a new contest, and a brush...with DEATH.

- @abelzumi​