#dont argue with me about this i have no fucking patience for that shit. can we just let queer people exist without judgement

[hecksupremechips]

Girl help I keep thinking about freaking persona 4

[chron0ph0bia]

you parents constantly telling u the shit that you've been trying to unlearn surely is smth

[ellecdc]

Can i request something bit angsty? 🥺 its totally fine if you dont wanna write it tho!

I was thinking, wolfstar x reader got into an argument and reader started to occlude and the boys got scared they might be out of line bcs she only occlude when shes really hurting?

this is my SHIT - love me some hurt/comfort. thanks for requesting, lovie 🫶

poly!wolfstar x fem!reader

CW: hurt/comfort, arguing, mention of past family discourse, toxic family memories

“I’m sorry. You did what?” Sirius beseeched, walking into the living room from the kitchen and interrupting the points (arguments) you and Remus were each in the process of making. You gave him an unimpressed look, knowing he wasn’t actually asking you to repeat yourself, he just couldn’t believe what he had heard.

“She gave Mary-Ella over a grand.” Remus muttered bitterly.

“I did not give Mary-Ella money, I loaned her money.” You were quick to correct.

Sirius just scoffed. “Sure you did, dollface.” He sneered, making his usual pet-name burn to the touch. “You are never going to see that money again.”

“What were you thinking?” Remus implored.

“I was thinking that my friend was in a bind and needed help. I hardly think that’s a crime.” 

“You didn’t just loan a little bit of money, though. You loaned a lot of money to a friend who is not reliable in the slightest.” Remus asserted.

“We have been working so hard trying to save up to move. To move closer to Diagon Alley so that Remus can be closer to work, and we can finally get out of my uncles flat.” Sirius added.

“I know we’ve been working hard, Sirius. I know this because I too have been working hard. But I’m not going to watch my friend struggle when there’s something I could do to help!”

“This choice impacted all of us. You had no right to make this decision on your own.”

It was your turn to scoff as you turned to glare at Remus incredulously. You had been trying to stay patient, knowing that this close to the moon, Remus was feeling extra sensitive. But him ganging-up on you with Sirius quickly found what little patience you had running thin. “I 'had no right' to make a decision about money that I made on my own?”

“You have no ground to stand on, buttercup. You’re now out more than a grand because of this choice; we’re all out more than a grand because of your choice.” Sirius growled, tone full of derision.

“If the roles were reversed, Mary-Ella would help me out!” You tried to reason, only for Remus to bark a laugh.

“That doesn’t even matter, dove. Because you’d never be in her position and likewise, she’d never be in yours. She’s irresponsible, unreliable, and a mooch.”

You tried to ignore the burning sensation in your sinuses as you spoke to the back of Remus’ head; he apparently had grown so disgusted with you that he couldn’t even look at you anymore. 

“I don’t like you talking about my friends like that. I don’t understand why we’re making such a big deal about this, I jus-” but you were cut off as Remus stood abruptly and turned on you. 

“We’re making this a big deal because it is a big deal!” he bellowed. “You leave this apartment in the morning and it’s like Sirius and I don’t exist anymore. You conduct yourself like some single woman with no responsibility to anyone else but herself.”

“You’re being selfish. You can’t possibly expect to drop a bomb on us like this and, what, expect us to just reply with ‘yes dear’? You fucked up, Y/N.” Sirius added, arms crossed defensively over his chest and cold silver eyes glared daggers that permeated your entire being. Remus carried on, unperturbed by the effects this conversation was having on you.

You felt like you were seventeen again, like you were eleven, nine, six. You felt like a babe whose hand had been slapped for reasons beyond your comprehension.

Do you ever stop and think about the consequences, Y/N?

You were sitting at the dining room table as your father lashed you with his words, each sentence punctuated with the slamming of his fists on the table. You were standing on the platform having just reunited with your parents after the school year as your mother’s claws dug into your arms, warning you that punishment was to come later if you didn’t smarten up. You were cowering in the backyard as your father screamed at you in front of the entire neighbourhood – a free show for all to enjoy. 

You think crying will earn you any sympathy here? You’re a manipulative little witch if you think that will work on me. Keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about. 

You felt naked – like your figurative clothes had been violently ripped from your body – and there you stood, stripped bare for all to leer at. Standing before two people...who were meant to love you unconditionally...as they laced their words with venom and spat vitriol at you.

You couldn’t even hear the point Remus was trying to make anymore. It didn’t matter anyway.

He hated you. You were hated. You were a disappointment, a burden, unwanted.

But you couldn’t cry – could never cry. You’d just be manipulating them. You were deceitful. Emotions were deceitful. The way you felt was wrong. And they were right.

Always right. 

So, you did what you always did; you made it quiet. 

You began layering rows of stones around your being. Protection. Space. Distance. Safety.

They couldn’t hurt you from all the way in here, not from the other side of your wall. You’d be safe here. Here in the quiet.

It was safe in the quiet. 

Sirius felt disgraceful at how long it took him to notice the signs of you pulling away from the conversation. Away from them. Away from him.

Remus – always more sensitive than the two of you when it came to the likes of money, combined with feeling extra flustered with the upcoming full moon – had no reason to expect nor recognize signs of occlusion. 

Suddenly, Sirius was fourteen again. Walburga was standing over him with her wand aimed at his chest, but all he could see was Regulus. He had prayed at the time that his brother could hear him begging in his mind:

Turn it off, Reg. Just turn it off. It can’t hurt you if you turn it off. 

Sirius himself sat in an almost constant state of occlusion during his fifth year, knowing somewhere deep in his gut that the beginning of the end of his life as the heir of the Ancient and Most Noble House of Black (or the end of his life in general) was near. 

Growing up wasn’t a whole lot easier for you, it seemed. And he knew that when things got to be too much, you did what you needed to do to protect yourself.

He suddenly hated himself. You weren’t supposed to need to protect yourself from him and Remus. It was their job to protect you; just like you always protected them. 

How you protected Remus from wasting away on the days leading up to and recovering from the full moon. You never let him go hungry or thirsty, you always made sure the space was clean and tidy, and you never let him fall into his typical pre- and post-moon self-loathing.

And you protected Sirius from himself; from saying things that he wouldn’t be able to take back, from being the worst version of himself, from losing you and Remus completely. 

He didn’t deserve you.

You didn’t deserve this.

For fuck’s sake all you had been doing was being kind.

Being a good friend, someone that others could rely on, protecting people who meant so much to you. 

All you were doing was being your kind, courteous, protective, generous self that Remus and Sirius had fallen in love with from the very start.

“Moony!” Sirius pleaded, causing the lycanthrope to pause in his tangent. You didn’t even flinch at the sudden change in the atmosphere as Remus looked at Sirius bewilderedly. 

“We’ve lost her.” Sirius murmured quietly, causing Remus to spin to observe you. 

“Well...” Remus began, still struggling to shake off his anger and the need to argue. “But I-”

“It’s enough, Remus.” Sirius hissed quietly, staring at Remus with a look he hoped conveyed no nonsense.

He apparently succeeded as Remus let out whatever breath he’d been holding as he turned again to face you.

“Dove, I’m sorry.” Remus whispered as he tried to move towards you, but you instinctively took a step back to maintain the distance between you; your arms wrapped around your middle protectively as if that was all that was holding you together. 

Sirius’ heart felt like it split in two – and based off of the look on Remus’ face, he wasn’t fairing any better.

“Y/N?” Sirius tried. You didn’t turn to look at him, but you hummed in quasi-acknowledgement.

“Can you look at me?” He tried quietly, but you shook your head no. 

Remus made a pained sound as he tried to move towards you again, ducking his head down in an attempt to make eye contact with you. You didn’t back away from him this time, but your arms tightened in their hold around your middle.

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry I...I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that. I’m...I was out of line.”

“Come back?” Sirius pleaded. “Please.”

You took a deep breath and turned your face towards your boyfriends, but Sirius could tell your eyes were still foggy – you were still hiding.

“We won’t talk about it anymore. That conversation is done.” Sirius said.

“But-” you started, voice grating from the tightness in your throat, but he cut you off.

“The conversation is done. You did what you thought was right, you were being your kind lovely self, helping your friend when they needed you. We shouldn’t have yelled at you, sweets. I’m sorry.”

Remus made another pained sound and moved closer to you again.

“Dovey, I’m so sorry. Please, can I- would you like a hug?”

Sirius watched as you looked at Remus, seeming to weigh your options before you nodded once at him. Remus needn’t any more invitation and quickly (though gently) made for you, enveloping you in his arms. 

The three of you stayed like that – Remus with his arms around you, you with your arms around yourself and your face pushed into his chest, and Sirius standing helplessly at the side – before Sirius started to notice some tension leaving your shoulders.

“Why’d you go?” He asked you quietly, gently placing a hand in the middle of your shoulder blades and rubbing in a way he hoped was soothing.

“I didn’t want to cry.” You admitted into Remus’ chest, neither boy missing how tight your voice seemed to be, even as your voice barely raised above a whisper. 

“Oh, dolly. Just cry. Cry, okay? Make us feel like tossers, but don’t leave.” Sirius said.

“I didn’t want you to feel bad.” You muttered wetly, finally turning so Sirius could see your red and wet face. 

“But we deserved it. Oh, my love.” Remus cooed as he all but picked you up and locked your legs around his hips, forcing you to move your grip from around yourself to around him.

“I’m not s’posed to make you cry. I’m s’posed to make you smile.” He muttered pitifully, pressing his lips into your hair.

“And cum.” Sirius spoke in the same pitiful tone, brushing a strand of hair from your forehead.

You laughed wetly and the last of your occlusion appeared to slip away which was what Sirius had been aiming for. It didn’t make him feel all that much better though.

“Oh, my girl. I’m so sorry, Pads is right. You were just being your lovely self, and I’m a bastard.”

Sirius watched as your brows furrowed. “You’re not a bastard.”

“No,” Sirius agreed readily, “he was just being a bastard. Both of us were. Do you think you can forgive us?”

You nodded quickly but Remus tsked in response.

“Don’t let us off so easily, dovey. Make us pay for it. What do you need? Do you need a foot rub? You want cake? Ice cream? What about a kitten? You’ve always wanted a kitten.”

You had been shaking your head at everything Remus said until the last one, your curiosity obviously piqued.

Fuckin’ hells, Sirius thought, if she gets a kitten everytime one of us acts like an arse, we’re going to be overrun with cats by next month. 

[gamblersdoll]

would an angst to comfort be possible with katsuki? also please do take ur time with the influx of asks!!! i’ve been sending a few myself but i am just full of ideas 😭 don’t feel pressured to do them and take care of yourself!

angsty, idk what to tell you.

“you be pissin’ me off alot.” he rubs his temples, sighing heavily and rolling his eyes. he doesnt even remember why the fuck you both were arguing. the argument started an hour ago, so what the fuck were you arguing about? “the fuck are you mad about again?”

you scoff, “how the fuck—“ you sigh and circle yourself. “we were talking about some topic you brought up and you didnt like my fuckin’ answer! because you always have to be right.”

“i always have to be right? how many fucking times were you wrong about shit?” he barks back, jaw tight and eyes tight.

“i know when im wrong, and some times i dont have the patience to deal with your ass.”

“patience to deal with what?!” he asks, borderline shouting and talking with his hands. a bigger trait he got from you, two years ago.

“the fact that whenever we discuss anything, you have to be right. even when you know youre wrong, you have to have the last word, to be superior!” you talk with your hands too, the original. you start shouting as well, “you always start some damn topic you see online, then you talk to me about it to get my views on it,” you breathe deeply, keeping an eye on him. “and yet when you dont like my responses, my views, it gets very hard to see if you are trying to show me your viewpoint or if you just want to feel right about something, too.”

“yeah, like youre never right about anything, either.” he gets louder, “you also have to be right about anything and everything. like last fuckin week.”

“bitch, you were talking about using a arts and craft tool— for fucking clay to try and use it for your skin because ‘it essentially the same fucking thing’ and im the one more in tune with skincare shit.”

he sighs, bouncing his knee in agitation. because youre right. he did just want to be right at times. its a trait from his mother, you know? sometimes she also just wanted to be right. maybe it was a thing in his family tree, he recognized this conversation to he and his mother.

its why they are on better terms. closer, even.

“yer’ right.” he starts, standing up and getting close. “alot of times, i just have to feel right.” he mumbles into your hair, kissing it.

you sigh through your nose, embracing him too and tight. the wave of anger and hurt immediately washes, because if one thing katsuki can do, was at least take accountability, even if he needed help.

“im sorry, princess.” he says, looking deep into you and you can tell hes scared, scared of losing you. “i dont want to lose this good thing, either.”

“dont be sorry, just be better.” you say, a small smile on your face and he smiles too, shaking. “i love you.”

“love you most.”

“please dont use arts and craft shit on your face.”

“yes maam.”

[zvdvdlvr]

fluff alphabet

( dallas winston )

-> navi. | -> outsiders masterlist

-warnings: sexual references, (mention of) smoking/getting high

-pairing: dallas winston x gn!reader

-reading time: 8-10 minutes ish

-reader's pronouns: unmentioned (lmk if i need to edit)

A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?)

honestly he loves your temper. he loves your possessiveness. dallas loves your fighting spirit. dallas fucking winston admires your anger

B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?)

he loves your pretty lips. he loves to watch them wrap around a cigarette, blunt, and maybe something else...

dallas is a sucker for watching you argue with someone. he loves that you'll argue for him when he's not there, how you'll defend him even when he has all of his morals fucked up, and he especially likes it when you argue with him

C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?)

damn ok so i love the idea that dally always lets you snuggle into his arm while he does whatever. if its smoking, drinking, laughing, talking

either way, dally loves when you're asleep and you're both on someone's couch or whatever and you have your arm draped over him and your leg is thrown over his idfk. dallas just loves you & him

D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?)

him + you + cruising on some back road + getting high

dally has a thing for falling asleep with you while looking at the stars in his car

E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?)

by looking at you and hoping you know whatever the fuck is going on by his facial expression

F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?)

no. i really dont think our very own dallas winston has it in him to sit still for very long. that and dally isn't really a fan of kids

G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?)

dallas showers you in cigarettes, joints, and car rides. dally doesn't have much money, and when he does, he spends that on buying gas for his car, but he saves up for your birthday

for the record, you're the only one allowed to drive his car

H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?)

anytime you're together. dally isnt afraid to show you off if thats a worry of yours, and the gang finds it digestingly cute

I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?)

absolutely pissed. he would go bat shit crazy on the person that hurt you (if someone hurt you) and would be listening to your every beck and call

J = Jokes (do they like to joke around with or prank you? how?)

dally isn't much of a prankster, but he jokes a lot. if he can't get a laugh out of you, he'll make daces at you to get you to smile (its so sweet thinking about it)

K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?)

passionately, roughly, and full of emotion. theres so much that you've gone through with dally that he cant and wont fully express what that means ro him, so he makes his kisses meaningful

L = Love (how do they show you they love you?)

by looking out for you when possible. dally isnt as affectionate as he wished he could be, but will always try to be there for you, whether hes good at comforting you or cheering you on or not

M = Memory (favorite memory together?)

either when you made out the first time or the first time he fell asleep

N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?)

regarding you: turning your back on him

O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?)

dallas plays with your fingers when hes nervous. only you know because you can feel how clammy his hands are and who would ever question if dallas winston ever got got nervous?

P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?)

doll, baby, my girl, my boy

Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?)

cruising while smoking with you

R = Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?)

-young by vacations

-tonight you belong to me by patience & prudence

-garden by pearl jam

-santa monica by THEORY

(idk abt this but whatever)

S = Secrets (how open are they with you?)

honestly depends on the situmatation

T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?)

it took dally two years to convince you his flirtations and advances weren't bogus

U = Upset (how do they act when you’re upset?)

Dallas himself has Red Rage. dallas gets defiant and sometimes loud and 18392829 times more reckless, and it takes you a while to get through to him

when you're upset (crying), he will be there to comfort you the best he can. if you're upset (fury), then darry will try to keep you from doing something illegal and will keep you from getting hurt, but will let you do something impulsive if you're absolutely sure thats what you wanna do

V = Vaunt (what are they proud of? Do they like to show you off?)

he's proud that he finally 'caught a good one' in johnny's words. he'll take you everywhere and anywhere you wanna go, especially if its with him. if it's a fight, dally will make sure you're safe and if the fuzz pull up, he'll make sure you escape before people get thrown into cars and into the cooler

W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting? Would they fight for you, beside you, etc?)

the thought of you fighting is hot as hell to dally. he'll 100% fight with/for you if you just said the word. fighting with dally would definitely taking a few hits for him and keeping him on his feet

X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?)

depends on how far into the relationship you are. dally's pretty clueless for a while, but will easily pick up on what makes you tick and how to comfort you

Y = Yes (how would they propose to you?)

by asking you when high or half asleep or both. it'd be asked as an idea, with or without your parents permission

Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?)

smoking, driving, you, and johnny.

[bonny-kookoo]

I DON’T WANT PEACE👹

I CRAVE HEART CRUSHING ANGST!👹

Everyone: blame this person right here, not me.

---

"Alright yeah, you're pissed and I get that-" yoongi says, pinching the bridge of his nose. "But could you not yell like a maniac? You're scaring her." He sternly says, having noticed you trembling on the couch next to him. You've never met his bandmates, you've got essentially no idea who this stranger is in your home- so you're naturally terrified.

Especially considering where you came from. Before Yoongi came along, shouting had ways been the intro to every nightmare you'd experience.

"I don't care! I'm fed up with this!" Namjoon yells, visibly snapping. "What's next? Jimin has a wife and kids? Taehyung runs a brothel? Who knows because I for sure as hell don't!" He barks, waving his arms around. You visibly flinch at that, and Yoongi gets up along with his bandleader.

"I think you should leave." He says, and Namjoon steps closer- way too close for comfort.

"Maybe you should leave, if you get my hint." He grits out between his teeth, and it stuns the producer a little bit.

"I should leave? Oh really now?" He asks, unsure if the man across him is being serious.

"Maybe?! Is this all even worth it anymore if we dontbtell each other shit no more?" Namjoon argues, and Yoongi is ready to respond-

Before he hears the front door slam closed behind him. He doesn't need to look around much to realize what must've happened, as you're nowhere to be seen, and he knows from experience that as a fox no matter what subspecies, your instinct is to hide whenever you feel unsafe.

"Great. Awesome, really!" Yoongi barks, instantly moving to get his coat and shoes on. "Thank you!" He shakes his head angrily.

"If she runs off like that you've clearly not trained her well enough!" Namjoon tries to argue, and Yoongi turns around with a scandalized expression.

"You dont- namjoon, I respect you, but what the fuck? You don't train them, they're not pets for fuck's sake!" He exclaims, completely upset at the situation. "I can't waste time arguing with you right now. Fuck off, and don't you dare try and contact authorities about this!" He threatens as he pushes his friend out the door with him.

"Why? You've got dirt on your shoes with her? Great, a criminal record now!" The bandleader yells after him.

"Fuck you." Yoongi darkly responds, voice deep and controlled, and its now that Namjoon starts to get a little worried of his personal safety because he knows that once his friend goes calm, it's really the end of his patience wearing thin. "She's an abuse victim, got PTSD, and I promised she'llbe safe with me, I literally signed a fucking document that stated that if I fail to take care of her, she'll be back at the treatment center, locked up like she's some sort of monster." He explains.

He remembers all the strings he had to pull, how many friendships he had to play to somehow get things approved. He'd just donated to the place, nothing else- but somehow, seeing, meeting you there, had made him just decide that he could be your safe space. If no one wanted to try, so be it. He would try, as many times as he needed- and it worked. You improved, you healed, you're able to live a normal life now despite your ups and downs. "I gave her a normal life, I am her only chance at living outside of that place, and if you just ruined that for her, for ME-" he says, clenching his jaw, thinking of his next words before he decides against voicing them. "-do what you think is right. It's what you always do, after all." He finishes, before running off, phone in hand to track the Tag he's put onto your collar.

Praying that he finds you before anyone else does, or before anything can happen to you.

[aristotels]

Of course all problems and inequalities are direct consequence of modernity and in the past those who are now considered undesirable were considered divine and definitely weren't treated even worse and didn't have access to anything that resembles accomodations. Let's bring those times back!

In Ancient Rome specifically there was no hospitalisation, yes, but also people who were considered mad couldn't make financial and legal operations on their own at all and couldn't be citizens, and were considered pariahs by their communities. This is not to say that you are wrong because you picked the wrong time to see as "when things were better", it's that just because what causes problems now is capitalism doesn't mean that before it people were always kind and caring, everything is much older.

(Or that removing the money would fix everything on its own, for that matter)

are you literally so stupid to fail to see my point

the point isnt "LOOK WHAT THEY TOOK FROM US" the point is that fears and delusions depend on the society youre brought up in; and also sorry that a 5 sentences tumblr post didnt go into history of medical malpractice, it was a lighthearted post made by someone with those very issues

yeah, if i lived then, then id have a different delusion more fit to those times - but it would not resemble my current paranoia or nightmares of being drugged or talked to the way ive had medical staff talk to me bc those things are specific to our society.

(Also you can still have your rights denied for being mentally ill today as well?????? what happened to free britney??? And like My family doctor once literally suggested to my dad to involountary check me into psych ward which was smth my psychiatrist at the time was very much trying to avoid because he KNEW how dehumanizing that is, he spent more than sn hour trying to figure out if my visions of suicide were actual suicide risk or intrusive thoughts; telling me later that he was willing to gamble such a huge risk and responsibility he would have to take in case i actually did smth to myself - just to keep me out of the hospital stay because he worked there and SAW how dehumanizing it is. because getting in the ward here doesnt mean youre done when youre out, this shit affects FUCKLOAD of things in your life!)

are you really trying to be like "LETS TAKE AWAY ACCOMODATIONS FROM PEOPLE WHO SUFFER WOOW GOOD JOB" in my inbox rn btw considering that i am literally schizophrenic w some other mental illnesses, and that i take fucking meds upon meds for it, including antipsychotics??????? and i am also very grateful for those aids, but even with meds my condition will never be resolved and its severity very much depends on the people/society around me. my delusions while living in croatia might differ from someone who lives in the usa.

i literally have no patience or attention or care or anything to argue with you rn, if you wanna discuss political or economical or marxist or whatever theory in my inbox go ahead, but i am NOT arguing about my own fucking lived experience and having you speak to me this way, in an incredibly entitled and dismissive way. its late and im going to bed. i genuinely dont care for your "ummmmm ekshually capitalism is noot thaaat bad-" shit while i keep having episodes on the daily in a big part due to fuckin capitalism. losing my other job is putting me through stress because i have no money, but it also eased up certain aspects of my illness because i dont have to hit hardcore fucking deadlines every week.

p.s. who the fuck is talking about money not existing. if you are gonna bring that up within communist theory and up for a serious discussion thats a whole other thing, but moneyless and stateless society doesnt just rest on tadaaah no money, like theres a reason marx wrote books n essays on that shit and why daddy engels sent him checks. and even in ideal communist world we would still have mental illnesses, but i am absolutely positive that my thoughts would differ than the current ones and that they would probably be less severe. and also why is this implying that communism wont have like the fuckin medication

i usually take care to carefully reply to asks and try to actually give a serious opinion but i gen dont care if i sound incoherent rn, this legit pissed me off

[thatrandomventblog]

of fucking course i fuck it up! i always do!

i cant get shit right can i?! nope! fucking damn near starving bcuse im tired of being refered to as a pig. fuck you too dad! i barely eat a single meal and you wanna call me a pig! like fucking hell get your shit straight. call me too skinny?! fucking FINE! ill try to eat some more! oh im sorry im stuck like this for the last several years! ik ik my weights fine im helthy but bully me anyways yeah?

fucking hell

i cant get shit done at all. maybe it would be better if i just dropped off the face of the world? nah and yeah. nah, itd hurt too many people. yeah, cuse then they wouldnt have to deal with this dumbass. ik i could vent in the server but idk i feel like sometimes im hogging it. like ik ik its there for a reason, but honestly id rather be helping everyone else. maybe im in one of thos moods tbh, it probably explains a lot.

honestly im scared im not going to make it in time. i dont wanna lsoe anyone else but every time i think that it makes me wonder, who did i lose? myself? my family? friends? who did i lose to make me so scared of losing others? honestly, i cant find an answer. maybe its being left behind all those times. being left alone. maybe growing up to fast i lost myself. i sure as hell am not the same kid i used to be.

younger me would argue with you if you said shit about someone i cared for. me now would rather kick your teeth out.

younger me would rather apologize and end an argument. me now would rather taste blood than admit defeat. then again maybe not, maybe im just stewing away (this is about biological family).

younger me would not be online and talking to people. me now, i need those people to survive.

theres just things that have changed. ive grown more violent, less paitence, and more pissy. and honestly its scary.

i wanna have hours worth of patience for my siblings

i wanna be able to keep my chill despite getting the living shit knocked outta me

i wanna be less pissy, be more stable than what i am now

but im not. i wanna change but idk how. ik people tell me im innoccent and kind and this and that but i dont feel it

in the end of the day im still gonna be a shadow

im still gonna be nothing

im still gonna be a fuck up

[lycanr0t]

"[x] sexuality/gender is just cis/het people who want to feel special"

gender and sexuality is complicated and nuanced actually and just because you don't get it since it doesn't fit into your small idea of gender and sexuality doesn't mean it's bad or wrong, it just means you're a bigot.

if someone says they're a certain gender or sexuality then maybe, it's because they are that gender or sexuality. maybe you should fucking believe them. because it's not your damn job or damn business to tell them otherwise. queer identities are not and never have been simple or easy to put into clean boxes.

there will always be identities that people call 'cis/het people trying to be special' because they're reducing those identities to the most bad faith, twisted version of it that it can be while actively ignoring the actual lived experiences of the ppl who identify with it. I'm sooo fucking tired of it. so tired.

if your identity has ever been invalidated like this just know that i see you. i feel you. i stand by you. your identities are not bad or less queer than more accepted/known ones. you belong in queer spaces just like every other queer identity and no one but yourself gets to decide what words are acceptable to describe your own personal experiences.

[sluttsumu]

WHAT TURNS THEM ON

featuring: prohero!bakugou, kirishima, denki, sero

warnings: 18+, nsfw, no specific warnings

wc: 0.8 ??? roughly

a/n: i wanted to write some hcs for some of my fav boys, i got this idea from @c0rncheez ! AHHHH i’m finally writing for mha.

# BAKUGOU — ATTITUDE/ARGUING

he loves a girl with some attitude.

a brat, a troublemaker, someone that keeps him on his toes.

he has quite the attitude himself so he loves when you can keep up with him

bakugou is not used to people arguing with him because they’re scared, you on the other hand are not. and that turns him on, especially when you’re right and he’s wrong.

you that tiktok where it says “I love the kind of woman that will actually just, kill me” ? THATS HIM.

arguments are actually funny to him, especially when you get very bold.

because he knows he could have you crying, and apologizing while his dick tip mercilessly hits your cervix.

with him being raised by a dominant woman he craves those same qualities in a partner because he knows how to deal with that.

rather than someone muted and passive.

knowing you could go from firey and fiesty, to a whining moaning mess just giving into him, makes him so fucking hard.

# KIRISHIMA — CLASS

now we all know that he’s attracted to hotheads (bakugou)

but I think he is obsessed with the idea of a well mannered classy woman.

also i’m mostly using this in the context of sugardaddy!kirishima

I feel like he likes golddiggers

he loves a woman who knows how to take care of herself, who wants to be spoiled, who is cocky, but knows how to be polite and well mannered to everybody who deserves it

greedy whores is what i’m saying, basically

 someone who can stay calm and composed during situations where their patience is tested. that’s the definition of a woman to him.

the only person who can break that composure is him, the only person that gets to see just how fucking greedy you are begging for his cock, and for him to fuck you full.

in reward for your class, he’ll spoil you accordingly.

he’ll practically stare at you with heart eyes drooling when the two of you were going out for dinner and he sees you wearing the brand new dress, and diamonds he bought you.

class isn’t just about how you act but how you present yourself, and you look like the biggest gift at the bottom of a fucking christmas tree to him. Beautiful on the outside so hard to unravel and all the good stuff is on the inside.

# SERO — TOXICITY

NOW DONT COME FOR ME ON THIS ONE

i think sero is in love with toxicity

honestly this goes more with the idea of possessiveness, but to know that somebody is addicted to you for the wrong reasons and will always end up coming back to you drives him crazy.

hate sex, makeup sex, breakup sex, ALL OF IT.

he’s a big tease and teasing you about how much you need him (when in reality you don’t he just wants to corrupt you into thinking that) turns him on.

you look so helpless under him, holding back tears because you know how wrong it is that you’re in bed with your ex AGAIN.

“you just cant stay away from me, can you?”

YEAH. THAT SHIT.

you’re not aloud to date or fuck with anyone else, why? because hanta will know, and if that person ends up sending you a text saying you can’t see each other anymore. you know why.

he knows that he just has to be good to you for a while, before going back to his insensitive ways, then y’all break up, and suddenly his face is stuffed in your cunt at 3am, you guys get back together and the cycle continues.

# DENKI — INNOCENCE

denki loves how innocent you act because he knows you’re anything but innocent.

you’re so nice around your family and friends always smiling and so dainty but such a fucking cockwhore behind closed doors. his cockwhore.

he knows better than anyone how much of a greedy slut you are, always begging, and asking for more.

so he finds it confusing sometimes about how coy and naive you act.

kiri says “you’re as sweet as ever” sero says that “the two of you are perfect for each other” bakugou can actually tolerate you.

all of his friends love you, they all love and know the version of you that you let them see.

but are completely unaware of who you really are at night.

it makes his cock stir in his pants just seeing you around others in public, and you just look so pretty, so delicate, so breakable.

he’s tried to fuck all of the innocence out of you but you will never let the act up? no, solely because you know how hard it gets him.

sluttsumu 2021

[choclateteez]

🥊💥4*town During Conflicts/fights with others and each other💥🥊

Part 1 (except I actually continue this time- T and Z's parts are about half way done🤭)

Robaire

With others

Robaire is slow to anger- being a leader comes with having to work on his patience skills

If you've made him actually lose it, he has tried to make you understand in the nicest ways possible. You've crossed the line

This man is SCARY when angry

He's never afraid of confrontation, try him. Try. him.

Don't try him, actually

He won't care if you're taller, more muscular, more athletic than him, he won't back down. He isn't scared, he really isn't.

The other members kinda get worried about him getting himself into dangerous situations because he has absolutely no fear response in these situations

He doesn't like to resort to yelling, he makes his point across just fine with well chosen words

*trash argument* “oh really??” NONOnoono, dont fucking interrupt me, okay?!”

If things do get physical, he can hold himself well in a fight; he can take a punch or two and throw a lot more

With 4*town

Canonically, he and Aaron Z have a friendly rivalry

However, sometimes it can go a bit too far. Especially when Z has an attitude towards Robaire's orders, or when Robaire doesn't agree with Z’s suggestions or ideas

They'd never physically fight each other, but the tension can get intense

Especially if it's before a big concert

“If the others can do the move, how come you can't? I'm not gonna change the whole choreo because you don't have what it takes.” “I don’t have what it takes? I don't have what it takes???” “I said what I said, Robaire.” “Where did all this come from?” “We are mere days away from performance, and you STILL haven't got the move down" "And whos job was it to teach me?" "Oh??" Z shoots up, stalking closer to Robaire, towering over him. "You telling me I cant do my job?" Robaire isn't intimidated. He doesnt move back, but instead moves closer, chests close. "You just told me I couldnt do mine- i'm telling you cant eat what you dish out" The words fly out of his mouth before he realizes. He sees the moment Z's eyes dilate out of anger and realizes hes pushed it too far. He sighs and backs down, running his hands down his face. "Shit…sorry..listen- we perform soon, we're all stressed and i… shouldnt have done that. '' Z studies him, still trying to calm himself down. "Just…just teach me the move and ill do my best alright?" "...fine…im sorry too or whatever.."

He doesn't conflict with the other members often, only sometimes with Jesse because of the age difference

Robaire and Jesse have an interesting dynamic

As the leader, Robaire often calls the shots, but he knows he doesn't have to enforce it on Jesse too harshly- he wants to respect him

At first, he thought of Jesse giving suggestions as Jesse questioning his authority

It got them off to a rough start, as Robaire would kindly, but bluntly shut him down

Soon though, Robaire had FINALLY started to accept the fact that Jesse knew more than him in some instances

Jesse wasn't trying to belittle him, he was just offering some help through experience that Robaire wasn't ready to admit he didn't have. 

Jesse

With others

Some people tend to think that Jesse has a shorter temper compared to the other members, but he doesnt usually respond in a large scale

But when he does, it’s not as intense as some people may think

ESPECIALLY when it comes to haters

Being the oldest also comes with experience and wisdom, some of that wisdom being that haters are only jealous

At the end of the day, Jesse knows that HE’S the one who is in a world famous boy band, not some heckler who wants their 15 seconds of fame

Jesse has had ample time to work on his confidence skills (telling your uptight parents you want to major in art takes balls of iron), and in situations like these, they really come in handy

Arguing with him is pointless. He knows his worth, and words from some hateful nobody will never get a reaction out of him, much to the haters disdain

HOWEVER…

Say some shit about his fellow members, his fans, OR his family??

Consider yourself dead

“Say it to my face, say it to my fucking face”

Jesse is INCREDIBLY defensive and protective of those close to him, so if you know what's good for you, shut your mouth

He's never afraid to call anyone out, so be prepared to have your face and name all over the news if youve really fucked up

One thing everyone loves about him is that he doesn't get down and dirty- he lets everyone else do the fighting FOR him. 

*someone saying something downright horrendous* “security, his head please.” All he has to do is say the word

Oops! Your credit card info was leaked by 4townie twitter? Oh noooo!! 

With 4*town

The only time he argues with 4*town is when they overstep his boundaries a little

Being the eldest, he'd still prefer a little respect

The old jokes don't really bother him (in fact, he finds them quite endearing). 

What does, is when they're either talking down on him, or when they're not taking his advice seriously

4*town doesn't realize they're doing it sometimes, but it still irks him. 

When he does give advice, it's often well thought through, and he means it earnestly, and with the best intentions. To get them brushed off as “oldest one just wants to control us”, drives him mad, and rightfully so

And when he has to switch to brutal honesty, it makes it worse, and they start to argue with him, gang up against him, even question his intelligence, and it starts a burning feeling in his chest that Jesse has to stop before it gets out of hand

He rarely raises his voice, but when he does, the gang knows they've pushed him over the edge

“Guys, im being serious-” “When are you not?” “Yeah, T’s right you're kind of being-” “You're interrupting me-” “Jesse, cmon-” If y'all would just LIST-” “i dont-” “jesus christ, SHUT UP!! All of you!” Jesse’s breathing heavy, face flushed. Tae Young and T flinch, and Jesse notices, urging himself to reign it in. “Just let. me. talk.”

The room is soundless. Even Robaire becomes subdued and holds his tongue

When 4*town is being scolded by Jesse, they know they probably deserved it this time, and will take his words to heart

Tae Young

With others

This man has a MOUTH

You wanna say something to him, best believe hed say something right back

He has little to no patience with people who try him

It's hard to have beef with Tae Young- He’s sweet, and he tries his best to be helpful, and there for anyone that needs him

So to be mad at him for small/insignificant things is not the move

From sarcasm, public humiliation, cameras, anything, Tae Young will use his environment as his weapon

He also LOOVESS to tease people who tick him off, or get mad at him for dumb reasons

“Why do you wear so much makeup? You're so feminine, are you even a man?” “Awweee, big stwong man is scared of a little powder? You poor thing! If you're ugly, just say that!”

He is also emotionally intelligent

He knows that he might be sensitive to some of the things people say to him, and in those situations, he urges himself to just walk away

It doesn't matter who calls him a coward, if he needs to walk away from the scene, he will

If you wanna fight him, you gotta catch him first. Good luck even touching a hair on his skin, bro is FAST

his emotions come in strongly

But when they've said something that REALLY riled him up, he'd walk away angry beyond words. He’ll vent when he needs to (it's healthy to, and he knows he'll feel better afterwards), and maybe he'll cry. But he's not crying because he's sad, or because his feelings are hurt- it's because you made him so mad that his body got overwhelmed. Good fucking job

With 4*town

His biggest issue is him being babied

Don't get him wrong, he loves the special attention and affection from his bandmates

But there are times where he'd wish that they'd stop acting as if he were 5

He could be off on his own, getting a drink maybe, and they'd freak out like he had gotten kidnapped

Yes, he could get himself in some concerning situations, and yes, he can act out on a whim, but he’s an adult for goodness sake, he could take care of himself

That, and sometimes, the others won't take him seriously when he's mad

And sometimes they wont take his advice because something in them thinks young = stupid

He wants to be taken seriously just as much as the rest of them, and surprisingly, this was the biggest issue with T

When they had first started working together and he was making suggestions, t was very indifferent about his input

It was a long road before 4*town actually understood this because every time Tae Young tried to tell them, they'd brush it off to him being a juvenile rebellious teen, or him being cute when he's mad

So what if his stupid cheeks puffed up or if his stupid expression was cute when he was mad?! His feelings were still valid weren't they?

Their first time doing choreo together was…disastrous

“T, can you please go slower on the flip? I asked like 3 times now” “Well, what's gotten into you today? Calm the hormones down, haha!” “...dude, now is really not the time” "I'm not even doing anything??" "Aaron.." "what, you expect me to slow down in midair?" "T, you KNOW thats not what I meant." "Gosh, youre adorable- your face is doin the thing- anyways, listen, Z's being stingy on the timing here, soo either you keep up, or you do the original choreo with everyone else, kid🤷🏽‍♂️" "imsorry, kid? 😃 I-no, im fucking done" Tae Young storms out the studio, door slamming. The other members look on in shock. T is kind of surprised he reacted that way- he didnt mean to be condescending, but it didnt change the fact that he was.  "Tch. Nice going, T" Z says with dripping sarcasm, going after Tae Young to make sure he was okay.

The group is much more careful about this now

He was smart to go to Jesse to help with this. His old man wisdom came in handy! He taught Tae Young a lot about not letting people walk on him, and helped with his confidence a ton

They never meant to invalidate Tae Young's feelings and they avoid doing this as muuchhh as possible now

Tae Young is not afraid to confront them if it happens again

Okay, i just wanna say thank you guys SO much for all the love youve been giving me im so overwhelmed😭💖 

Your comments and hearts really motivated me! 

I just wanted to do my part in keeping the 4*town fandom thriving, so im so glad yall actually enjoyed it<3

Thinking of making a masterlist and taking requests soon!👀

[peakyscillian]

Scars to your beautiful | Cillian x fem!reader |

Summary: Cillian and Y/N attend a film premiere, Y/N is feeling all kinds of insecure. Warnings: Angst, language, arguing. scar reference but nothing graphic or new. Request: @being-worthy A/N: I hope this is ok!

Scars to your beautiful

Lights flashing, people shouting, Cillian had his hand linked tightly with yours, the dress you had been sent was drawing unwanted attention to your body and you could see all the actresses and wives of actors up ahead, posing for the cameras. Cillian was being called left and right for the press, you stood off to the side letting him have his moment in front of the cameras, then his publicist was next to you, leaning close to your ear "Go have a few pictures with him y/n" he smiled, you shook your head shyly. "You look fantasic should show it off" he added after your refusal, you gave him the smallest smile but refused again. Cillian was back by your side, his hand back in yours as you made your way up the carpet to the cinema "wish you would of had a few pictures with me" he commented, you felt your heart sink. "I was just letting you have your moment Cill" you smiled, as he held the door for you, dropping a kiss to your cheek .

The film had been amazing, you were thankful for the dimly lit cinema, you and Cillian had been at the after party for around twenty minutes, he'd gone to the bar leaving you at a table, you could see him laughing and joking with a beautiful co-star, her hand on his arm. You didn't blame either of them Cillian was the most handsome man in the room and she was just stunning, you were surely the most out of place person here, always unsure why Cillian wanted to be with you. Cillian caught your eyes, waving you over, his co-star turned as well a welcoming smile on her face, you shook your head, holding up a finger to signal you'd be back, heading for the toilets. No way could you stand there near her and not feel like you wanted the room to swallow you whole. Standing next to her would only make Cillian realise what a mistake he had made, bringing you, hell even being with you in the first place. *** Cillian excused himself from talking to a few of his co-stars, you had headed to the bathroom a while ago and he was worried you'd been so quiet all evening, fidgetting with the beautiful dress that suited you so well. He knew how insecure you could be, how you were sure he had made a mistake asking you to marry him. He knew it wasn't your fault that you felt this way, he had seen so many negative things destroy the confidence of his sisters he wasn't immune to it. He had seen the scars on your thighs, the marks of your past pain and he just wanted to take everything away, but nights like tonight you pushed and pushed until he was so far away from you, you couldn't hear him. He waited outside the ladies bathrooms, pulling his phone out to send you a message, his patience wearing thinner by the minute, he wasn't one to argue especially not with you, but right now he was getting frustrated, he just wanted you to see how beautiful you were to him and nearly everyone you met. You finally appeared he could see the red puffiness of your eyes, the stained make up on your cheeks, he downed his beer placing the glass on the window ledge behind him. "Hey, hey whats wrong?" concern flooded his body as he held you by your elbows. "I jus-just want to go home Cill" you hiccuped, he bit at his lip, he wanted you here, he had finally persauded you to come along to a premiere and now the night was just getting started and you wanted to leave. He took in a sharp breath "I can call Clive to come get you?" he asked, you nodded "Are you coming?" you questioned, he shook his head. "Y/N it's a big premiere night everyone is here, Enda has asked me to make a speech, he's my closest friend I can't just disappear" he was trying his hardest to keep his cool. You stood on tiptoes to kiss him quickly "It's fine Cillian, enjoy your night I'll see you at home" you went to walk away to wait out by the entrance for his driver. "No, dont you dare make me feel guilty, I was so damn excited to have you here with me tonight, so happy that you agreed to come, then we get here and you dont want pictures, you dont want to talk to my castmates, you hide in the toilets, what more can I do?" he was frustrated you knew that but you couldn't help it.

"I feel like shit ok? I saw you with that women, in the red dress looking like a fucking model, I'll leave you too it yeah?" you pulled your hand from his grasp. "She's my co-star, she was asking to meet you because I never shut up talking about you and you were so rude, now I've got to go back in there and explain you've left because you're jealous?" he was baffled, he didn't know what else he could do "I'm not jealous Cillian, you can fucking have her for all I care" you took off, heels clicking across the marble floor, not looking back at him.

*** You were under the duvet, having got home stripped from the dress leaving it in a pile on the floor of the walk-in wardrobe, heels discarded down stairs, you'd took the make-up off and bundled your hair into a bun before crawling under the covers. You felt so awful leaving Cillian the way you had, but you needed to get out of the party, you didn't belong in his perfect life. You had made your decision, you needed to leave you needed to let Cillian be happy with someone who deserved him.

There was always a bag packed at the back of your side of the wardrobe, waiting for the moment you would need it, you got out from the covers, padding across to the wardrobe, stepping over the dress heading for the bag.

***

You were making your way down the stairs when you heard the front door close, you froze heart pounding. Cillian appeared at the bottom of the staircase, brows knitted together. "What..where are you going?" his eyes fell to the bag in your hand. "I don't deserve you, I shouldn't be with you" you were biting at your lip. Cillian shrugged off his coat, dropping his keys into the dish, taking the steps two at a time to reach you. "I'm sorry okay? I didn't mean to get mad, I just wish you would see how beautiful you are to me, how much I adore you, you're beautiful y/n, so beautiful and I'll spend everyday telling you that, please, please stay" he was pleading, down on his knee's on the step below you. You allowed him to take the bag from your hands, to lead you up the stairs, help you undress and redress into your lounge clothes, tucking you into the bed, promising to be right back after locking up the downstairs, you hadn't said a word. You were overwhelmed, by this man and his love for you, you were still certain you didn't deserve him.

***

Taglist @being-worthy @missymurphy1985 @janelongxox @queenshelby @noctvrnalmoth @magicalpieex @datewithgianni @elenavampire21 @cloudofdisney @uchihacumdump

[fuck-customers]

Since lots of people don't see workers as humans, I get to overhear a lot of drama. Either that be over the phone or arguing right before a couple orders their food. But this guy really took the cake. I do want to say this guy walked in with bad vibes. Like I thought he was coming to massacre us. My store is all hispanics except for 1 dude. SOOO when i saw this white dude with a white wife beater come in and incredibly bad vibes it, freaked me out. But I pushed it aside. I asked for his order and he was on the phone. He would tell me to wait a sec. Okayyyy.... then He ordered his food. Plate A. And was arguing with what I would later find out was his girlfriend. He clearly had anger issues. Literally cursing at his girlfriend "What the FUCK do you want." My vibes were not off. I tried to advise him on what to order. He would ignore me and tell me to give him a second. He finally put his gf on speaker. She names a few stuff we have and one thing we didn't but I knew what she was asking for. I ask him if she want what I assume shes asking for and she says yes and he continues to argue with her about what she wants for her order. After she had very verbally told me what she wanted. I tried to explain to him that her plate was ready. And he cut me off saying to give him a second. Third times the charm. Speaking more firmly "Her plate is ready" Plate B. This interaction has already gone on too long I hand his plates to the cashier so she can ring it up. I hear from the other side of the buffet table "I dont have my card I must have misplaced it." "okay I can gold your food while you go back to target to see if they have it" "I just got out of prison I dont have any money" Usually 1 plate we will give for free, give me a good reason and we'll give it to you. However my manager was there that day and the snitch who cooks was there too. Cashier had no other choice especially since he was trying for 2 plates. To charge him for both. He said "alright Ill pay for plate A". The cashier charges him for 1 and put the other on the side for a potential plate we could use for another order.

Cut to... lets say 2 hours later.

This guy comes in he is on the phone with his girlfriend again and she's angry. They are arguing and he's holding up the line again. I ask "Are you here for the other plate?". He cuts me off trying to get his gfs order. Again I have to explain to him that I have her plate put he wont let me speak. Which furthers my aggravation. He says "talk to the lady" and puts her on speaker again she angrily yells "I dont want anything". He argues some more. I cut his dumbass off I have no more patience for this dude. I have her plate. He starts off "I just got out of prison, I cant afford the plate" "My gf is bitching me out because she didnt like the food". He really gets on my nerves. shes not bitching you out. "Please I walked 1 miles from Kowes, I don't a care about the money, its just my gf is bitching me out" Cute, I used to work at kowes, I walked there and back everyday day my shift. its a 15 minute walk. I get my manager and explain the situation in spanish lol cuz fuck that guy. He's being annoying and repeating the same shit while i explain what's up to my manager. I dont say shit while he talks to my manager. Its none of my business "My gf is bitching me out, because YOU gave me the wrong order." Okay wait a fucking sec. I say "Shes angry because you brought her your order instead of what she wanted. You brought her plate A instead of plate B I think shes understandably angry." Thats not our fucking problem. You fucking up and giving your gf plate A instead of Plate B does not mean you get a free plate. I gave you the correct order. What you should have done l, if it really isnt about the money, is bought plate B in the first place to make your gf happy. BTW customers behind him are having the time of their lives when I explain to him how HE fucked up not us. Don't insert us in your dumbass drama. My manger said he had to pay the plate. He left came back 20 minutes later with an entree redemption code. And my manager cashed him out.

I'm sorry this was so long, just needed somewhere to put this dumb situation that isn't my mind. The amount of time saved if this guy didn't cut me off so much. If only he would fucking reflect on the dumb shit he did. Note I was very polite but firm when I lost patience. I am a professional. Shout out to his gf, hope she leaves his ass. Hes an absolute trashcan that treated his gf like shit and didnt listen to a word she said.

[oceanbaby888]

Rockin Wit Mars ☄🔥⚡(Part 1)

Hey yall!

I wanted to come back and do another series about MARS through the signs. I'll do Aries-Virgo Mars in this post and Libra-Pisces in the next one.

Mars is the planet of "war," as some will describe it. Yet, Mars isnt just about fighting and getting over on your enemies(but it's a big part of it), it's also about how we expend our energy and even detail our work ethic/how we approach our projects. It may also represent our sexual instincts (I'll talk about that in another post if yall want). Mars can also detail what kind of leader we would be (Aries rules the 1st zodiac and its represented by Mars) in the times a transit Mars may aspect your natal Mars!

With furthur ado, let's get started!

ARIES MARS:

Wow Mars is in its home sign here. Meaning that an Aries Mars will definitely radiate peak Mars energy. Aries Mars are confrontational, let me just put that out there first 🤣, or more prone to be. Yet, this isnt a bad thing. Aries Mars dont like wasting time, they get to the root and nip it in the bud! Aries Mars are like "you gotta problem then let's address it." LOL. They can be good leaders! Yet, they must be aware of being too self-centered or in their ego (Aries rules self) and be willing to listen to others when they need to. As some may know, Aries are so impatient 🤣🤣🤣, and they may get frustrated easier because they approach projects with that Mars energy. So it may be better for them to pick projects that are quick for them to pick up and are easier to get through, yet that doesn't mean patience isnt a virtue for you, Aries Mars. A little patience goes a long way ❤🔥.

TAURUS MARS:

Speaking of patience, this mars sign may be a bit more patient and not as reactive. Earth signs in general are usually less reactive, so a Taurus Mars may not be as quick to confrontation as an Aries Mars. Yet, if you fuck with their possessions or shit that is dear to their hearts, you best believe you will hear from a Taurus Mars 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. Taurus represents possessions and material things that make us comfortable, so dont try to do that to a Taurus Mars. Also, a Taurus Mars will not let up until you see their side (lol that Taurean stubborness) because they know for a fact out of everything you do, you mess with their stuff. Taurus Mars can be good leaders in areas they are really passionate about because that fixed energy doesn't let up which can really help them go far. I've also noticed Venusians dont waste time on things they arent passionate of (but that's another story for another post). But yeah Taurus Mars, just remember to listen to others as well, because I know that stubbornness 🤣🤣. You never know, some ideas may be better than you thought from the other side.

GEMINI MARS:

Oh wow this placement can also make for a good leader, that is, if they can focus on one particular thing at a time and not try to do 1000 things at once. A gemini mars uses their mars energy in their words. A gemini mars isnt afraid to express their ideas, especially if it means they are taking charge or using that mars energy towards their projects. I think this makes them good collaborators. They also may argue with siblings alot (Gemini represents our siblings) or not afraid to get into it with a neighbor. Since Gemini is a mutable sign, this Mars sign may be a bit all over the place when upset, but once they calm down they can definitely communicate how they feel.

CANCER MARS:

Now alot of people like to underestimate a cancer. Yet, they are represented by the crab. Hit and get pinched 🦀🦀. A cancer mars doesn't want to be confrontational unless they seriously have to. Also, cancer mars may react alot out of emotion to feel like they need to protect themselves. They are represented by the crab. That's not bad though, because cancer is cardinal, and a cardinal sign gon make sure you dont play with them 🤣. Its also a good way for them to have emotional boundaries, but Cancer Mars dont react on everyone so badly, take a minute to assess first if you dont do so already. Yet, this energy makes Cancer Mars a good leader especially within their family as Cancer rules over the home. They fight for their relatives and just people they care about in general. And dont let a parent be a cancer mars because you will hear from them if someone is bullying their child at school (you been warned). Speaking of, a cancer mars may also be very defensive/protective when it comes to women (cancer = feminity= women), so they can be good leaders when it comes to being a feminist or fighting for women's rights. On the flip side, unfortunately, a cancer mars may run into alot of issues/arguments with women. It just depends on the individuals natal chart and how the mars is placed.

LEO MARS:

A Leo is ruled by the Lion 🦁. Yall think a lion is scared easily lol? They are known to be the king of the jungle. With that said, a Leo Mars is a very confident leader. They also may not be afraid to get into it with men (Sun rules over men/father) or their dad. Like Cancer Mars, dont fuck with a Leo Mars kids as Leo represents 5th house themes like children. A Leo Mars may be aggressively confident with their projects and they demand to be seen/listened to if they are collaborating with a group. Which is not bad Leo Mars, but remember let someone else be the star for once 🤣. A Leo Mars also may make their enemies upset on purpose, like "look at me I'm fabulous and you not bitter betty" LMAO I SEE THEM DOING THAT. Yet, be mindful not to be too prideful or arrogant with it if you're in a leadership position Leo Mars. That pride and arrogance, esp if it's coming from a malicious place when someone hurt ya feelings, can be ya downfall.

VIRGO MARS:

Let me just say I never wanna get into it with a Virgo Mars 🤣🤣🤣🤣. A Virgo Mars is something serious. They are mercury ruled, meaning like Gemini Mars they combat with words. This also makes them a good leader as well, yet Virgo Mars good leaders were once criticized themselves before. A Virgo Mars can definitely thrive as a leader in the health or science area or in an area involving heavy research. Yet, a Virgo Mars may run into alot of issues at work or with their boss (Virgo = employee/employer relationship) if they are not careful. A Virgo Mars may approach their projects with a very methodical, razor sharp, meticulous energy. Yet, if you are collaborating with others Virgo Mars, be mindful to not use that Mars energy to painfully criticize others or be upset when someone in the group criticizes you. Definitely a leader that can handle the details, but be mindful that others have good opinions too.

That's all for part 1! I'll be back with part 2 soon!

Love yall,

-Claude

[keiruvieg]

so i watched ep.24 of jjk and let me just say i had no idea who choso was and now i cant stop thinking about him. could you write hc's for him? thanks!

red moon

random Choso headcanons!!

a/n: i've been waiting for this😩😩 HE LOOKS SO FINE IN THE ANIME LIKE SIR? i didn’t put any manga spoilers either and just put in some hcs i could think of. this is so random i didnt classify it also so umm yeah

-uhh hcs with a lil bit of scenarios ig

warning: there’s some grammatical errors please forgive me for that

word count: 976

First of- his voice I DIDNT EXPECT IT TO BE THAT DEEP- but his morning voice just hits different darling,imagine a deep but also rough voice? And the way he calls you in the morning to😩 it'd be so deep darling.

"Goodmorning bub" his voice resonates the room. It feels so good waking up to this guy "Goodmorning Cho" u smiled at him. He gets up out of the bed while rubbing his eyes. You just looked at him with so much admiration. " How was your sleep?" He asked you while rubbing his chest through his shirt."'twas good" you smiled at him which he gladly returned to you

heart eyes

He smells good tho!!!!! Like idc if he's a death painting or someone who come out of the curse womb but he smells really good!! Idrk how to describe it but yall know that musky smells with the hint of chocolates in it-i cant help but imagine he smells like tht

He likes bLACK COFFEE I DONT MAKE THE RULES-you always make sure to prepare him some too specially when he's really tired.

"Cho! Welcome back" your voice really reached him once he entered your shared apartment. He smiles really gently at you. "Im back darling" he says walking directly to you-towards your livingroom in which you make sure was clean and you really made sure that he got his coffee the moment he comes back. "Darling?" He called out to you "Hmm?" " Thank you" he directly said once he heard you hum in which confused you but at the same time warmed your heart. The two of you just bathe in each other's warmth in which a routine for the both of you whenever he gets home.

You!! Make!! Sure!! You!! Do!! His!! Hair!! Everytime!! If it aint you- he doesnt want it. Just the way your gentle hands brush on his hair with much caution not to hurt his scalp just make him melts so much he loves it

He loves your clips, he just find it amusing

He probably cracks his fingers and neck a lot bitch tht so hot

he! HAS!! DEFINED!! ABS!!

sad to say he always wins at uno games, he's really good with chess too!!

Man's really smart- being the oldest must've been hard to him because he needs to make decision not only for himself but also for his siblings to looked up too

Lovesss pet names!!!

He once heard it when he was prob roaming around

Now he calls you darling,bub,honey,baby.

Really good at deep talks too

He probably viewed alot from his 150 years of existence and just like to talk abt it i thought its really cute

Really reallyyyy protective

This man doesnt like to yell at all

Lots and Lots of patience

(being the older sibling kinda gives him that)

His sleeping position varies from him looking like a dead person to him facing a side to him having his arm in his eyes while rubbing his stomach and lastly to him laying on his stomach

He either wakes up early or late, no in between

Really really caring (prob an older brother intuition)

Loves chocolates!!

There was this time you made him chocolate milkshakes and he fucking loves it,now he ask for that everytime

As much as he loves coffee- he cant say no to hot chocolate either

I feel like this guy knows how to bake🤩

He once wear a gray sweatpants and a plain tshirt with his hair down aND YOU CANT HELP BUT STARE AT HIM THAT TIME AND HE JUST LOOKS BACK AT YOU AND YOU GUYS JUST GO ON WITH A STARING CONTEST

His hands are really big, but at the same time really rough

But this guy gives me gentle vibes

Swears alot!!

Prob just some basic fuck,shit,damn it when something doesnt go his way. AND HE ALWAYS SAY THAT WITH A LOW VOICE

You once offer him a tongue piercing- and he just looks at you bewildered

HIS LAUGH IS SO SOFT YET SO FUCKING LOW ITS SO ATTRACTIVE

This man knows how to paint nails too!!

You prob ask him if he wants to cut his hair and he was like sure ill do it but you felt guilty abt his long hair so you'll just be like no❤️

This man is so mature to the point you cant even argue with him anymore

He prob likes to read at some point when he isnt doing anything

He doesnt like swimming at all he just doesnt find it fun

Kinda seeing him liking alcohol too

when..u..ask..questions..he..raises..his..one.. eyebrow..or..he..hums...

Dandelions by Ruth b. kinda gives me relationship vibes with him because he’s so caring and that song suits him so well

He’s a decent cleaner also, expect him to have your apartment//house clean

love language will always be physical affection and reassurements!!

he’s a really good friend too!!

he’ll probably be the one to know all your problems first soo yeah

this guy is a good listener too

he probably hums or sing you to sleep

just imagine a very low voice singing to you

movie nights with him are the best!!

he likes fries alot too

like any typa fries that any fast food can offer

ketchup? ketchup

you gave him a ketchup tshirt one time

he wears it whenever he’s home now

i feel like he like fall the most( the season ok)

and summer too( the type to just chill around and not swim yeah that)

overall this guy will probably the most sweetest person you can think of-the bestest of best friends-most reliable person-most hottest person too-this guy fits the brother//boyfriend//husband//friend type alot so yeah he the best i love him

[negandarylsatisfaction]

[SUMMARY: Negans wives become jealous after he begins to like the new woman who has joined the sanctuary. Taking advantage of her innocence and English not being her main language, the girls plot against her, making Negan go back on one of his own rules.]

Got Negan speaking some spanish.

Smut

Negan and Valentina. PART ONE

"My oh my..." Negan squinted his eyes at the sight of you across the room from him. Not paying attention to who was watching you, you continued organizing cans of fruit as you were told to do that day.

"Is that the new chick you bought here this morning?" Negan looked over at Simon beside him.

"Yeah, I put her on supply duty. Her english isnt so good but she moves quick."

Negan looked back at you, your caramel complexion and long wavy hair catching his attention.

"And why the hell have I not been introduced to her?" Negan responded with a raised brow.

"You're the one who said not to bother you if I found people I felt could fit in here. Trust my judgement, dont you?" Simon asked Negan noticing he wouldnt take his eyes off you.

"Of course I do. I also trust you to tell me when a fine piece of ass joins us, she might want to join the others," he explained referring to his wives. His response causing Simon to shake his head.

"Ehh...shes a little different from the other ones buddy. That's why I didnt mention her."

"Different? How?" Negan asked with interest as he turned to Simon.

"Shes a quiet one."

"The quietest ones are the freakiest," Negan grinned as he chewed on a toothpick.

"What's her name?"

"Valentina," Simon answered crossing his arms. Negan slid the toothpick around his mouth with his tongue before pulling it out and flicking it to the side.

"I'll be right back," Simon watched as Negan made his way to you knowing exactly what he would try to do.

"Excuse me, Miss Valentina is it?" Negan spoke in a charming voice as you continued organizing the cans straight in a box.

"Shit, I dont think I've been properly introduced to you. I do run this place so I should know everyone here, shouldn't I?" Immeditaly you stopped what you were doing and looked up at him with a look of embarrassment.

"I did not know this was your place. My apologies." Negan frowned at you not expecting your politeness or being so attracted to the sound of your accent.

"No need for an apology, darling. Im Negan and it is my upmost pleasure to meet you." Negan spoke charismatically as he slowly checked out what was before him from head to toe. The look of innocence pulled Negan more towards you. Smiling at him you shyly crossed your arms not knowing what else to say.

"How about I give you a tour of my Sanctuary."

"A tour?" You answered with a puzzled expression.

"What's that?" You asked, not knowing too much English there was many words you did not understand.

"A tour, when someone shows you around. Shit, I'll be your personal host. What do you say, honey?"

"Oh, I guess. Yes." Your response exciting Negan.

Negan showed you the men at work, he showed you where everyone got together to eat and then he left his wives for last. He led you into a room with four women. Slightly confused by how they were dressed and how their faces changed when they saw Negan, you did not say a word.

"Dont be shy, sweetheart." Feeling his hand on your lower back as he gently pushed you close inside you smiled nervously.

"These women here are my dear, dear wives." Negan looked back at you to see your reaction. With a frown you looked at each of them as they stared back at you.

"Wives? All of them? I dont understand."

"Mmmhm." Negan bit his bottom lip with a smile.

"These women get special access to many things here at the Sanctuary and all they have to do is be my wife."

Negan explaining to you the rule did not notice the way one of his wives Sara, was looking at you. Right away you began to feel uncomfortable that this man had all these women, you were not sure if he was trying to come on to you with the offer.

"That is um....very nice-" you struggled to find the right words as you took a step back.

"I should get back to my work," Negan fully turned to you with your response.

"See that's the best part," he spoke in a matter of fact tone.

"As my wife you dont have to do any of that work, sweetheart." Standing still, you observed the way he looked at you. Clearly, he was attracted to you.

"In my country...we work for our needs. We work hard...nothing is for free."

"Hm," Negan responded as he looked down at you. He respected your way of thinking, if anything it made him more interested.

"I cant argue with that, darling." Negan winked at you as he stood beside you. The women watched the way he placed his hand on your lower back once again as he led you out of the room. You were the first woman to deny Negans offer but they saw the way he looked at you. They could tell he liked you and they didnt want to share Negan with anyone else.

The next few days you continued to work with the supplies as you had planned. Negan watched as you helped around with the kids, he thought you were a very sweet woman. He thought you had a softer touch than the others. Today you took a different task and helped with the cooking, you didnt notice how much Negan had his eyes on you. The man was captivated by your beauty. As you cut up the vegetables in the kitchen, Negan quietly entered. Humming to yourself, he entered the room and took it upon himself to stand beside you.

"Mind if I keep you company, sweetheart?"

"If that's what you like," your accent making him smirk. Negan leaned against the counter with his arms crossed, an amused expression on his face.

"What?" You looked up at him confused.

"Nothing...its just the way you speak."

His response making you frown, you weren't sure to be offended or not.

"What's wrong with the way I speak?"

Negan chuckled as he stepped closer to you.

"Oh...absolutely, nothing. I actually find it kind of..sexy." He answered with a grin making you look away shyly.

"I know men like you." Negan frowned as you responded with a soft voice.

"Men like me? What's that suppose to mean?"

"Que se-" you cut yourself off not meaning to respond in spanish.

"I mean-"

"Woah woah woah. What was that?" Negan leaned in closer to you.

"Were you about to just tell me off in Spanish?" He asked with half a smile, he couldn't deny it. The sound of you losing your patience in your first language aroused him.

"Please....go on," Negan teased.

"What I was going to say..was that-"

"In spanish, Valentina," the sound in his voice sounding like an order.

"Te gusta coquetear. You like to flirt...you chase after many women...womanizer."

"Mmmmm..." Negan bit his bottom lip and shook his body liking the sound of you talking in your language before he took another step closer.

"Well just for your information, Valentina. I dont chase after women, I flirt. But I cant help when a woman catches my eye like no other has..." His husky voice making you look up at him staring directly down at you.

"And I have to admit, you've really caught my eye." You could feel your cheeks begin to blush before turning away shyly.

"I better finish cooking." Nervously you responded continuing to chop up the vegetables as Negan remained beside you. Feeling his eyes heavily on you, you began to cut faster when suddenly you sliced your finger.

"Ow!" Negan turned serious at the sound of your scream.

"Shit." He instantly took hold of your hand taking a close look at your cut.

"I'm fine, I just-"

"Come here." Negan took you by your wrist to the table and sat you down across from him.

"Its nothing, Negan-"

"You cut yourself pretty fucking deep." Negan pulled out a small bottle of whiskey from his pocket and opened it with his mouth before quickly pouring some on your wound. You gasped trying to pull your hand back but he held you tightly.

"Easy, honey." Negan blew lightly on your wound as he looked at you and relieved the burning sensation.

"Better? Or am I going to get told off again in spanish?" Negan teased making you playfully scowl at him.

"Let me see this." Negan grabbed a cloth and patted it dry. Quietly you watched how gently he moved, how softly he touched your fingers. You had to admit, you were surprised to see a man like him move so lightly with his hands. He seemed so concerned with your wound. Sara, one of his wives unexpectedly walked in catching your hand in his as he treated you. Quickly you pulled away and stood up noticing the irritated look in her eyes.

"Sara, you need something?" Negan turned to her as she changed the expression on her face.

"No, we were just looking for you. All of us have been looking for you." Sara responded as you turned away wrapping your finger in a bandage.

"Alright. I'll be right there. You can go." Sara not liking his response turned and left the room as Negan stood up and walked towards you.

"You always carry a bottle of that stuff on you?" You asked with your back to him.

"Some times, never know when a pretty lady might accidentally wound herself." He teased making you laugh.

"I'm not so bad after all, am I?" His voice made you smile as you tied your finger up.

"You're still a womanizer," you responded playfully.

"Till one catches my eye." Negans tone wasnt as playful as yours, he meant what he said. Not knowing what to respond to that you changed the subject.

"Well thank you, even though it burned," you laughed as he stood behind you.

"I would've finished taking care of it if you didnt get up and run away so fast."

"Its okay, you're a busy man. Your wives are waiting."

"Let them wait." Negan responded not knowing Sara was hearing eveything behind the door. Never had Negan neglected his time with his wives before and they did not like this.

"I got it. Let me finish cooking, I'll see you around." You turned to him with a smile before continuing to make dinner.

Sara had already been complaining to the other women on how much attention Negan had been giving you. Not realizing just how much these women were growing to despise you, you went about your days not thinking of them. Negan on the other hand bought a smile to your lips everytime he came to mind. Everyday he took time out of his day to have some conversation with you. You would always catch him staring at you from afar, it made your heart flutter. He respected the fact that you didnt want to be one of his wives, that you werent like the others but that's what seemed to make him like you more. A couple days later you found yourself back on supply duty. Negan stood by the door as you marked off the number of each item on your clipboard.

"Everything going good?" The sound of his voice instantly make your heart skip a beat. Turning to him with a sweet smile he walked towards you.

"Yes, everything is great."

"Let me take a look at what you've got going on here." Negan stood right behind you looking over your shoulder as he read over what you had written down. The feel of his body so close behind you made your breathing begin to grow unsteady.

"Shit, this looks about right." He murmured behind you. Negan took a peak at the sight of your cleavage watching your chest rise and fall quickly, he could tell you were nervous with him standing so close.

"So, is good?" You questioned him before swallowing nervously.

"Valentina, tell me...how do I say 'very good' in spanish?" He asked close to you.

"Um..its muy bien," Negan licked his lips at the sound of your voice.

"Muy bien," Negans deep voice sent shivers down your spine, you had to admit he sounded smooth.

"Did that sound good?" He asked slowly, it was hard not to show how much you liked it.

"Mhm," Negan grinned behind you hearing the nervous excitement in your tone.

"How about..beautiful?" You suddenly felt Negans hand gently take hold of your waist making you softly gasp.

"Negan.."

"Say it." Taking a deep breath you hesitantly responded.

"Hermosa."

"Hermosa," he whispered behind your ear seductively, you could tell he was trying to turn you on and it was working until you remembered his wives.

"Negan-" you spoke breathlessly finally turning to face him.

"What are you doing? You know how I feel-"

"No I dont. Tell me again," his eyes were intense, he was turned on just as much, if not more than you were. His hands pulled you close against him as you looked up at him hesitantly.

"I'm not one of your wives...that's not who I am..we cant..-" you spoke but your eyes did not follow. He could tell how weak you were, how close you were to giving in to him. He leaned his forehead on yours, making you feel his breath touch your lips.

"Negan....I dont like being with someone who has...who has others."

"I havent touched them since we met," Negan spoke hoarsley. And it was true, the man couldnt bring himself to be sexually aroused by them with how much he thought of you since he met you. You found it hard to believe but it was true. Finally you both closed your eyes and let each others lips press against each other. Negan groaned with his mouth on yours, for so long he had been wanting to taste you. Not as one of his wives, not as just another woman he wanted but a woman he longed for. His lips trailed down the side of your jaw onto your neck as he sucked on it making you moan. Lost in the passion neither of you heard someone enter the room, that someone being Sara.

"Negan," her demanding voice making you jump back turning away from him as you fixed your hair.

"God dammit, what did I tell you about interrupting me?" He yelled at her in frustration.

"I'm sorry, I'll go." Embarrassed and angry, not expecting him to react this way, she left the room as Negan followed to where you moved.

"Now...where were we?" He pulled you against him making you put your hand to his chest to stop him.

"Negan no, I'm sorry. Those girls dont like me-"

"You think I give a shit?"

"Its not just that, I dont do this like this. I'm not one of them." You struggled to explain to the best of your ability in english. Negan felt frustration run through him, so turned on he could burst knowing he was so close to having you. So close until someone barged in and interrupted the moment. Negans breathing was heavy, you could tell how much he wanted you.

"Dont let her ruin what was happening between us."

"Its not her-"

"Then what the fuck is it?!" He suddenly yelled making you back away.

"You dont yell at me! Quien crees que eres!?" Negan raised his brows, a sudden smirk slowly forming on his face.

"So that's what it takes for you to talk to me like that huh? And what exactly did you just say?" Negan stepped closer as you crossed your arms holding the clipboard against you.

"Not that it matters because either way you sound so sexy..." Negan couldnt hide his arrogant and flirtatious side.

"Who do you think you are?" You repeated so he could understand.

"Thinking because you are the leader of this place you can yell at me or fuck me when you want-"

"Oh baby, talking dirty to me now?" Negan was amused by your reaction, his response only irritating you more.

"Alright, alright. I'm sorry." Negan finally gave in, as much as he liked the sound of you speaking in Spanish, he didnt like you being angry with him. As this whole time, you had never become angry with him.

"But if you must know, that's not the way I think, doll. I actually fucking like you." He admitted making you blush.

"Do I wanna fuck you? Of course I do, cant you see how fucking hard you have me? I can't lie about that but, I also fucking like you. Do you see me making any god damn time for my wives? Why do you think they constantly come looking for me when I'm with you?" Negan had a point, either way at that moment you didnt want to speak about it any longer.

"I think I should continue with my work, I'll talk to you later." Turning your back to him you continued to count over the items, Negan walked out in frustration cursing at himself.

Sara angrily ran to the other women and told them what she had just witnessed.

"So that's why hes barely been with us this past month, hes been with that broad," one wife complained.

"Hes never done this before when other women arrived, what makes that chick so special?" Another complained with frustration.

"I dont know but we've got to think of something to get rid of her. She needs to go." Sara responded when suddenly Negan pushed the door open.

"Sara, can I see you for a moment." Negan called out for her making her smile, not realizing Negan was in anything but a good mood.

"Yes, Negan," she responded happily as she closed the door behind her and faced him.

"Do me a favor dont fucking look for me unless I look for you. Dont ask of me, dont call for me, forget I'm fucking here. Understood?"

Sara's jaw dropped not expecting him to ever act this way with her.

"Y-yes. Sure." Angrily he walked off, only confirming the thought in her head that you indeed had to go.

Sara and the women had planned on introducing themselves to you, as they had never spoken to you themselves. As you finished organizing the supply room and locked the door shut you turned to find Negans wives standing outside the door.

"Um hi," nervously you smiled at them as you felt strongly that they disliked you.

"Hi, Valentina right?"

"Yes."

"My name is Sara, this is Susan, Sherry and Lisa."

"Hi, its very nice to meet you." You werent able to look Sara in the eye knowing she had just seen you and Negan together...kissing.

"I know, we havent really met..but why not right?" All the girls laughed simultaneously as you smiled awkwardly.

"We wanted to ask if you'd like to join us for dinner?"

"I-um sure," being completely caught off guard you weren't sure what to say. The girls happily walked with you to the kitchen and you sat with them quietly.

"Look Sara, about what you saw-"

"What about it?" Sara responded playfully.

"We've all been there with him, now it's your turn. Dont feel bad." She laughed as you felt a kick to your gut. You knew Negan had many wives and fooled around with everyone but you still didnt like hearing it.

"He did that with all of us, whenever one of us were new, we were his main priority for a certain time." She lied through her teeth, she knew none of them ever got personal treatment this way. She saw the disappointment in your eyes.

"Oh. I understand." Your expression quickly changing, the girls could tell you liked Negan and was hurt by what you heard.

Their plan of pretending to be nice to you to gain trust was working, the things they told you of Negan made you never want to speak to him. You felt like a fool falling for his words, how could you be so dumb? The man had so many wives and you for some reason thought you were special? Walking outside with them after dinner instantly caught Negans attention. He frowned and squinted his eyes from where he was watching you speak to his wives. Negan had a funny feeling about this and didnt like the sight of it.

"Oh shit, hes coming," you heard one of the girls whisper when Negan suddenly showed up before all of you, his eyes directly on you.

"Ladies."

"Hi, Negan," they all spoke together while you stayed silent making him step up to you.

"I dont get a hello, Valentina?"

"Negan," you muttered low making him look at the other women strangely.

"Valentina....I'd like to have a talk with you. Alone."

"I'd rather not."

"I didnt ask," he shot back making you look up at him. Looking back at his wives as Negan walked ahead, you could tell they were annoyed but, what could you do. Quietly you followed Negan far from where his wives stood before he turned to you with a very serious look.

"I dont want you talking to them."

"Why not?"

"Cause I said so. I dont trust it," you scoffed rolling your eyes.

"What dont you trust? That they're making me see you for who you really are?"

Negan frowned stairing down at you, his eyes looking directly into yours.

"What are they telling you about me?" He spoke low leaning his face close to yours.

Before you could respond Sara suddenly appeared besides both of you.

"Negan I have to tell you something."

"God dammit Sara, havent you learned-"

"I'm pregnant," you gasped at her words. A heart sinking feeling as you felt a knot in your throat. Sara was desperate to push you away in any way she could.

"Excuse me?" Negan looked at her puzzled as he walked towards her slowly.

"I-I should go." You began to walk away before Negan reached back and grabbed your arm without turning back to you.

"No Valentina. Stay right here. Now, what the fuck did you say, Sara?"

"I'm- I'm pregnant, Negan."

"Bullshit," he responded coldly.

"What the fuck do you think you're trying to do?" He spoke with a low angry voice, he knew exactly what Sara was up to and he wasnt going to let it happen.

"Its true, I am."

"I havent touched you in over a month."

"Did you forget that time in the supply closet?" She asked with wicked eyes, you looked away in shock, feeling disgust.

"Oh you want to play that fucking game with me?" Negan yelled at Sara charging towards her as she stared up at him boldly.

"Go back to the fucking room. Get the hell out of my face." Sara looked over at you in disapproval before storming off back inside. Negan turned back to find you with glossy eyes, he could tell you were attempting to hold back tears.

"Valentina-"

"I should've known. I knew you was a womanizer, a man with many-many wives." You struggled to express yourself properly.

"Val, shes lying. I havent touched her since I met you. I didnt want to."

"My name is Valentina," you snapped at him with your accent emphasizing on your name.

"And it doesnt matter, we are not you know...um a couple or whatever-"

"We can be."

"I dont want to be one of your wives!"

"I dont want you as one of them god dammit, I dont even want them!" Negan yelled making you silent. You didnt know what to believe with everything they had told you.

"I just want to go to my room." You responded in a calm manner as you looked away.

"Then go," Negan walked off angrily that you wouldnt believe him, angry that he ever lived the way he did at all. Quietly you went off to your room just wanting to cool off. Negan headed to where the wives were to discipline them and happened to walk into the hallway hearing them talk their next plan out.

"We have to get rid of her, hes not giving up on her and shes-"

"Shes not going to leave, she has nowhere to go, " Sherry responded.

"And Negan sure as hell wont make her leave. We're stuck with her."

"Unless......unless we do something to her." Sara suggested as Negan over heard with a straight face.

"What do you mean do something to her? Like hurt her?" Susan asked in excitement.

"Yeah, I mean, Negan wont know. He can just think it's an accident." Negan pressed his lips together angrily at the thought of anyone hurting you.

"What do you girls say?" Sara asked looking at all of them eager for a response. It didnt take long for them all to agree. Negan had a rule to never hurt women, but hearing them even think of hurting you made him want to bend some rules.

"We'll just get her one day while Negans out of the sanctuary. Trick her into being alone with us-" The women suddenly gasped at the sound of Negan entering the room.

"Negan, we weren't expecting you," Sara laughed nervously hoping he hadn't heard anything.

"Oh, I know that," Negan responded sarcastically as he stood before them.

"I needed to have a talk with you ladies. Now you ladies know what one of my number one rules are, dont you?"

"Yeah, to not do any harm to women." Lisa responded confidently.

"Exactly, now what are some things I hate?" Negan stepped closer in a very slow manner.

"Lies," responded one wife.

"Being crossed," responded another as Negan slowly pulled out his gun.

"Exactly! Now do you ladies know what this is?" They watched as he placed a silencer on his gun before pointing it at a random space.

"Is that a-" before Sherry could finish he pointed the gun at Lisa and shot her dead making all of them scream.

"So I heard from a little bird that you guys had a plan." Negan pointed again and shot Sherry.

"Shit-" Sara muttered in fear in shock at the cold blooded action Negan was taking.

Quietly you sat on your bed not being able to stop thinking about Negan. Were you actually starting to have feelings for this man? Maybe you should've let him really express himself to you, you knew those women didnt like you after all. With a sigh you stood up and decided to go find Negan and really have a one on one conversation with him.

Negan had by now shot down everyone besides Sara, terrified she put her hands up as Negan walked towards her.

"You thought you could cross me and get away with it?" Negan smirked as she shook her head.

"I...I apologize. I p-p-promise I wont-"

"A little to late for that dont you think?"

Walking towards the main room you could see the door cracked so you knew he was in there. Just as you reached the door you slowly opened it to a sight you would never forget.

"Ne-" you gasped just as Negan pulled the trigger and shot Sara through the head. You let out a scream covering your mouth in shock, Negan turned to you as you observed what was before you.

"Valentina," the look of complete terror in your eyes you couldnt believe what you saw. Visibly shaking, your eyes fell on him then back to his gun still in his hand. Quickly putting it away he took a step forward making you scream taking a step back. Negan could tell he had just instilled fear into you, fear of him.

"Valentina, sweetheart.. I can explain."

Not saying a word as you struggled to breathe you slowly took another step back before making a quick run for it.

"Valentina!" Negan yelled running after you catching you from behind in the middle of the hallway. You screamed as he covered your mouth and held you against him not letting you go.

"I'm not gonna hurt you!" He yelled as you cried trying to get away from him before he pulled you down on the floor against him.

"Shh, listen to me," his hand still over your mouth as he held your arms down around you.

"I had to do it," Negan whispered in your ear out of breath. He could feel you trembling against him, he hated knowing he made you feel this way.

"You think I wanted to do that? You know I dont hurt women but...those women wanted to hurt you. And I wasnt going to fucking allow that." You cried trying to push his hands away, you didnt believe him.

"I know you're scared but you have to trust me dammit!" Negan having more strength than you exhausted you, finally you gave up out of breath against him. Feeling you relax in his arms he slowly dropped his hand away from your mouth. Hesitantly you looked back at him in a way you had never looked at him before.

"No.. don't do that." He whispered looking down at you.

"Dont look at me like I'm a damn monster," you couldnt help noticing the blood splatter on the bottom side of Negans face before looking back into his eyes.

"You killed those women..." you spoke in a shaky voice.

"You werent suppose to see that."

Shaking your head in disbelief you kept picturing all four of their bodies laying dead on the floor. You couldnt believe the same man so gentle with your wound could do so much damage. You had no idea the kinds of things Negan had done.

"No....I-this isnt right.." you slowly began to push yourself away before quickly standing up and rushing off. Just wanting to get away from him you ran into a random room not realizing it was his bedroom. Before you could rush back out Negan entered and locked the door behind him.

"Now you're gonna hear me."

"Negan, please I want to go. Please." You began to cry as he walked towards you with deeply knitted brows.

"You think I'm gonna hurt you?" You couldnt look him in the eye as he stood inches away from you.

"Those women wanted you dead which is why they're dead and you think I'd fucking hurt you?" Slowly blinking through your tears you looked up at him hesitantly.

"Dead?" You whispered confused.

"Yes they wanted you dead and they were going to hurt you the next time I wasnt around and I would've killed them then too." Looking down you noticed the view of his gun, instantly making you uncomfortable. Negan followed your eyes and could tell it made you feel unsafe.

"You want me to put it away, then will you fucking listen to me?"

Without you saying a word he slowly pulled it out of his pocket and hid it in a drawer beside him.

"Why?" You suddenly asked looking up at him innocently.

"Why what?"

"Why for me...you do this? I dont understand I-"

"I thought I made myself clear about that, sweetheart." Negan slowly stepped closer to you not wanting to frighten you.

"I cant help when a woman catches my eye and I haven't had a woman catch my eye in a long fucking time."

Got cut off with this post, I'll post part 2 in a bit!