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#dont fucking talk to me im sobbing and pissing myself
cynopansy · 7 months
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AU where they hop over to a different bar and get fucked up together after Ozzie's instead of what actually happened because I CANNOT cope. 😭
(full render version of this post!)
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ofcowardiceandkings · 21 days
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the sinus headaches are already not great but Extra Shit has been added to the pile and im just sat on that right now trying to figure out what the fuck to do
#ive uh not processed it yet and it also wont really shake out for a little while now i guess but .. yeah#long story short my friends who ive been A Trio with since we were 11 might be done with each other#theres a LOT of additional factors but theyre splitting a house share so one can go live with a boyfriend#and in the process it sounds like theyve made a lot of selfish choices for some unknown reason#ngl theyve pissed me off a little bit for being so weird and reclusive since theyve had the boyfriend as well but only with us#its ... yeah i dont know what alls happened because i dont live with them#but i just cant fathom how they got to this point quibbling over the contents of their shared house of 5 years#over a boyfriend whos been around for 2 or 3 years ..... to ruin a friendship of 18 years ????#again i dont know the whole story but i trust what the friend whos still good at talking to us to not lie about them being screwed around#i just dont get it at all how to reconcile what ive been told with who ive known over half my life#theyve felt off .. or wrong for a while now tbh ... i miss them#i havent seen the other one since before may ...#the thought that mightve been the last time we all hang out is kind of killling me inside lol#and it was also pretty weird and stilted again because it was very boyfriend-centric#this always happens to me lol ive lost count of all my school friend groups who end up basically fighting over me after they fall out#its a MAJOR trauma point for me and i thought we kind of grew past that but i guess i was wrong#ive been catching myself with a weepy eye or a single sob all day#i dont know what to do i wanna know what the fuck happened and what was worth doing this for#i wanna confront everyone and ask for a fucking explanation as to why my single life solid bedrock is falling apart#i mostly wanna dig a hole and die in it ... im fine im safe but im bothered by like ...#what a total fool ill look like if i just melt down at work ... i might find the mental health first aiders list and write an email lol#im like not okay cksbdkssj fucking hell#i have some hope but its ... its hard out here#i need to go to bed fuck#id dont neeeeed thiiiiisss im gonna choke on life agaaaiiinnn#the battle to keep my shit together enough to at least not self-sabotage ??? its testing my patience#rory's ramblings
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yanosdiary · 2 months
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Fuck.
#whT if i just. what if i just. what if i just#haha. hehehe. hahahaha. fuck. me.#i blinked. i fucking BLINKED. suddenly theyre yelling at each other.#'shes on her period her emotions are out of control rn'#no you dont understand. thats not how it works. you dont snap like that bc ur on ur period.#im scared. im so fucking scared. what#if she has bpd too. what if it passed down to her and its judt showing now?#yk when it happened i only felt hurt in my chest? i didnt feel anything at all. all that emotional training paid off ig#yeard and years of telling myself to shut my emotions off rlly worked bc ive never heard her scream and cuss like that before#yet i didnt feel anything. but i did feel my inner child crying. i felt deja vu.#a distant memory of when she was yelling and arguing with HIM while i cry and piss myself on the rug when i was barely 2 years old#when my mom yelled and started sobbing and started cussing and fuck#it was so triggering but it felt like my body stopped working. it stopped completely. but like#my instincts. felt. like. it was on fight or flight mode. i wanted to run. my legs ached and i couldnt walk but it felt like i wanted to run#i wanma falk about it i wanna ralk about it so bad but what if i talk too much and ppl see how depressed i really am#i dont want to give off rhat impression. i want to give off a happy impressiom even tho im not#for ronight. and tomorrow. i dont wanna function properly.#ive functioned enouvh this week. ill take a break today and tomorrow.#for tomorrow. ill pretend i died and my ghost is wandering around my room. for tomorrow ill rot my soul away.#ill pick up the pieces for it later. i dont feel like piecing myself together right now.#im so. im so fucking tired. i feel like the only thing thatll comfort me rn is to hug a clay statue of yuuta for some odd reason#ive been so unbelievanly depressed for the past few months fuck i want to die i want to die so bad#and theres not even like a single reason why. i dont rememver. i cant remember. i cant feel. anything.#i dont wsnt to live right now. can i just. die. and then get brought back to life later when i feel ready again.
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vamp4kaulitz · 3 months
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Bill k. X Reader w/ Thunder thighs? HC pls,or imagine whatever you want really (DO NOT FEEL PRESSURED,YOU NEED SLEEP,YOU NEED TO EAT,AND MAKE SURE YOU READ ENOUGH FANFIC)
BILL KAULITZ X GN! READER W THUNDER THIGHS HCS
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pairing: bill kaulitz x gn! reader
hika🕷️:: TYSMM FOR THE REQUEST MLLL!! I will make sure I’m taking care of myself, I love you smm💞!! sorry i haven’t been posting- i lowk dont know what to write😢. lol it’s 2am rn. psa 6/21; yes i am black and im aware i wrote this on Juneteenth.
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SFW
i feel like bill is a thigh guy and he would LOVE your thighs sm. i mean he would always have this hands on your thighs, he would just be the touchy lil guy he is.
he’d definitely help rub coconut oil on them<3 this man loves helping you out, especially because he loves feeling your soft skin.
if you feel insecure about them, he would reassure you and kiss all over them. bill would kiss and nip at your thighs, whispering praises.
if you ever decided to get rid of them by working out, he’d be a bit but he would always be there to support you(such a good boyfriend)
would DEFINITELY use your legs as pillows. bill would stuff his face between your things 24/7. if not, he would rub and kiss them without a care in the world.
if someone points out your thighs in a negative way, best believe this man is THROWING HANDS!! how could someone talk about his precious baby like that? especially in front of him? hes not letting any insult go unheard.
“the fuck did you just say? why don’t you mind your own fucking business and leave them alone!” he shouted at them loudly, not caring who looks.
“say one more fucking thing and i will knock your teeth out.” he spat and grabbed your hand and walked away<33
if you ever ranted on how you hate your thighs, he’d be right by your side, listening to you. he would comfort you no matter what.
“i just hate my things, they are so annoying..!” you sobbed out and bill hugged you tightly.
“im sorry you feel that way baby. your unique, always remember that okay?”
NSFW (skip if uncomfortable)
oh gosh where can I even start? he would leave all types of hickeys all over them.
while eating you out, he would push them apart and squeeze them while he worked his way with you, demanding you to not close your legs.
“keep these beautiful legs spread for me, liebe.”
oh my gosh SIT ON HIS FACE PLSS. he downright begs for it, not caring if he seems desperate, that’s because he is.
“please please please schatz i want you to sit on my face!!” he whined as he begged and begged.
“but my thighs bill- what if they squish you or run out of breath?” you pouted. he didn’t care if he couldn’t breath after.
after some convincing you’d give in. he was like a happy kid who’s parent got them what they wanted from the store.
“fine fine fine! ill sit on your face, you happy?” you groaned and he smiled so widely. “i promsieee it’ll feel so good!” he said excitedly.
you didn’t put your full weight on him because you were scared of squishing him with your thighs. you lowered yourself on him, but not fully.
“i said, put your full weight on me.” he said and gripped your thighs and pushed you down on his face. you moaned loudly as his tongue skillfully moved against you, his tongue piercing feeling so so good.
You came so hard that you could’ve sworn you saw stars. You pulled off his face and he wiped his mouth and smirked.
“told ya you’d like it.” he teased and you rolled your eyes playfully.
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hika🕷️:: i wrote this in one sitting goodbye..also requests are finally open sooo send me your horny stuff you lil goobers!! remember NOT to cross my rules!!
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stupd000 · 7 months
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My typed reaction of Vegas BA bc everyone’s asleep
I love the guy who checks us in
Oh um don’t call me pet
Ermmmmm
Okay don’t like it so far
aw shucks i missed you too boo
no i will not come closer
ew no go away
oh nvm ig we are
wait so are we the dog or is he
okay this is getting boring
can we fuck now
oh wait nvm this is hot
oh WE’RE the puppy
that’s um
okay
is he calling me special
no i’m not ready to play VEGA.
i have a feeling we’re not alone
or we are
idk
okay we got some vouyers
that’s erm
okay
don’t call me pet
weirdo
excitement? no honey i’m scared
yes fear
ok can we fuck now
damn he talks a lot
stop echoing
oh don’t call me pup
oh this is some like
kinky kinky shit
how big is Vega
just in general cuz i thought he was like
6,1 and scrawny
um no my breath is oxygen not yours
this is definitely um
yeah
correct circumstances?
wardrobe?? bitch what is this Narnia
DONT CALL ME A PUPPY THATS WEIRD
i’m kink shaming
I am not getting on all fours what the fuck
oh nvm ig we are
this is uncomfortable
TAIL????
this is some furry shit
UM ..!
NO I WILL NOT CRAWL
WHATTTTTT
ASS?
SLUT???
this would be hot if i wasn’t a fucking dog
don’t shush me bitch
are we still on all fours
that’s mad embarrassing
i am not yours
weirdo
I’d rather you not take care of me
this is very um
interesting!!
Do we have dignity
STOP CALLING ME PUPPY YOU FURRY
do we have any pride at all like oh my god
GRINDING???
Don’t slut shame me bitch
arching????????
oh my god.
CUM HUNGRY LITTLE BITCH????
if he says puppy one more time i’m killing myself
if he puts a fucking collar on me i’ll jump
stop
STOPPP
Dog tag is crazy
“property of vega” NO.
Stop vega this is not a joke
DO WE HAVE NO SENSE OF DIGNITY
OH MY GODDDD
PROUD??? I AM NOT PROUD
OWNER???
I’m jumping off a ledge
MY HOLE?? WHICH ONE I HAVE LIKE 3
Okay stop slut shaming me Vega
ROLL OVER???
i’m insanely uncomfortable
by the way guys i made chicken alfredo today
Anyway
i hate his fucking tone
don’t take that attitude w me bitch
DO NAWTTT CALL ME A WHORE EVER AGAIN.
oh wait he called me pretty nvm
this is insane
it’s 2:30 am i cannot handle this
okay so we archin
PUT WHAT IN
WHAT IS GOING IN
this is strange
CALLING UR DICK A TREAT IS WILDDD
oh my god no
stop.
A TAIL???
NO
NO NO NO NO
NO
NO
no wait cuz there was this one kid who wore a butt plug tail to school it was crazy bc a guy pulled it out
anyway
This is some furry shit
not that there’s anything wrong w that live ur truth
STRETCHING???
the plug is insane
stop
i’m actually sobbing this is NOT OKAY.
what position are they in im so confused
SHAKE WHAT ASS
UMMMMMMMMM
this is peculiar
Vega is a furry
i hate this
i hate this sm
I STILL HAVE 10 MINS LEFT
LORD SAVE ME
okay no need to take that tone Vega😒
bitch we can’t breathe wtf
no i wont whine around that tootsie roll u call a dick
AHHH THE NOISESSS
okay can u not choke me
don’t call me a slut you cunt
oh my god hurry up vega
ew
I don’t love anything about this
this is insane
NOT A PERSON????
RUDEEEEEEEE
okay adjective king
ew don’t call me that
i am not licking the floor sir
i am not licking your boot either
lick your own fucking boot
this is actually pissing me off he’s annoying
are we almost done
Do we have no sense of shame
like at all
second hand embarrassment
okay are we done
no? okay
ew don’t call ur self master
that’s not..
okay
um
the growling is insane
damn right i’m divine
ew don’t call the that
not the baby voice
stop this madness
what do you want from me WHAT DO U WANNTTTT
okay are we done
TWITCHING?????? INSANE.
That was horrible
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baileythebean · 2 months
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Vent below the cut so HUUUUGE trigger warning.
So usually I vent in my dad’s (Anomaly’s) DMs because he’s great at comforting me, but Im too pissed for this right now and I dont want to bother him. I swear I am so fucking close to actually killing myself, it’s scary.
My mom has an aversion to me ever binding. I am transmasc (FtM), and I am out to my parents. My mom claims to be a “good”, “supportive” mom, and I do occasionally have moments where I’m like “oh yeah, she’s making progress, she’s learning! :)” and then it’s always fucking ruined by saying things like “well Bailey is your nickname, your name is [deadname].” - “well you’re still biologically female.” - lots of bullshit little jabs at me whenever I ACTUALLY get brave enough to talk about my identity, which is rarely. Unfortunately, any chances of me getting a binder were ruined when I just asked her flat-out. I said it was for cosplay, just to play it safe, and it was still a hard no because “It destroys your body!” - “You wont develop properly!” - “You’ll regret it!” Along with several long rants about ALL the research she’s done, (probably barely any, and it was most likely on social media) and all the stories she’s heard about people who regretted surgery or just transitioning in general and had lawsuits for them, which is like, very low. The regret rate for transitioning is in the DECIMALS and yet she refuses to acknowledge that. We also have a history with suicide, as that’s how my dad left us, and yet she either hasn’t seen or doesnt care about trans suicide rates BECAUSE of being denied affirming care or harassment?? Anyways, here’s where my shit show of a story starts. I managed to get by fine with layering sports bras for a while and just not wearing anything tight-fitting. I figured she’d warm up to it eventually. But recently, I got a new cosplay (Venti from Genshin Impact) which involves a corset, and even if I layer or adjust the shirt, makes my chest look very weird if I dont bind. I started feeling more dysphoria than ever in my life and made a plan to get a binder before my first time wearing the costume. Said plan succeeded, and I had my friend get me the right sized binder at a birthday party one day through a queer kids program that offered them for free. I was so happy and started wearing it to get used to it and break it in since that day. Unfortunately, today I made the mistake of leaving it on my bed visibly.
My mom also has a terrible habit of going into my room and my spaces to clean, even though I usually do it myself anyway, and I LITERALLY FUCKING TELL HER NOT TO EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I dont want her touching my stuff EVER, not just when I’m trying to keep something from her. I told her to stop and she kept picking up trash, and she spotted it. She questioned me about it, and I caved, telling her what it is, how its been considered medically safe, and reciting like, ALL the safety instructions from the top of my head, hoping it would give me a chance at keeping it. I failed. I got yelled at for destroying my body, ETC ETC. finally, she says that she needs to keep my binder in her room so she can make sure I ONLY use it for cosplay and I’m pretty sure she’ll check if I’m wearing it every day.
Then this bitch PUTS MY BINDER ON and tells me it’s too tight. First, it’s supposed to be. Second, THATS NOT YOUR SIZE. I’m sobbing my eyes out right now, and the only thing keeping me alive is my boyfriend, and a literal fictional character. I want to tear my flesh from my bones when she tells me that puberty sucks for everyone, and she doesnt get the fact that it’s a million times worse for me because I’M A BOY. I’ll be lucky if I make it to the end of the year. I’m just done. I want it to be over. Someone come and end it for me, please. I cant take any more.
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no-shxme · 1 month
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Question if you could rework Talon how would you do it? Like, if you have complete and total control of the character, can change things as far as the beginning or just progress his story. You can do whatever.
What would you do?
OKAY so i actually typed out a long ass response but then it got deleted so this makes me very sad faklsdjkljsfd but im gonna try and repeat myself. Disclaimer ofc this is going to be very long and its also just my personal opinion. No hate if anyone’s ideal talon is different.
So i can divide the changes i would make into like, 3 categories.
Core design
In game
Lore
I’ll go ahead and put it below the cut bc i know its gonna be so long (sob)
CORE DESIGN:
Okay im pretty sure i’ve said smth similar before but i cant remember. Basically i think talon’s core design fantasy conflicts with his design to an egregious degree. Riot’s goal is supposed to be to make the champ design fit the fantasy, but we’re supposed to believe he’s this cutthroat, efficient, STEALTHY assassin, who can kill with no mercy and climb all over the map and yet he’s got this jingle-jangle cape and also a hokey, non-retractable armblade. (this pisses me off bc zed has a retractable blade. So they DO exist.) also wild rift pissed me off bc when they redid their design of him they didn’t fix any of the issues and in fact made the armblade worse. How is he supposed to climb? It fundamentally conflicts with what he’s supposed to be. Get rid of both of them both. banished.
Granted, both of these things make his design more unique, but i dont think talon needs them. In fact their existence makes his own thematic design worse, as someone who’s supposed to blend in, supposed to hide in a crowd and be a nobody. He’s supposed to have a generic design. Maybe they can fuck with his cape a lil bit, but he doesn’t need to have this super notable look to him. Look at akshan. He’s just a shirtless dude (in a repurposed sol uniform) but he wears it well fr. 
As a side note: talon’s design in ‘the name of the blade’ is pretty good as a starting off point but it still has the stupid cape.
To be clear they will never change this i think. Talon’s armblade and cape are too ingrained in his old design so they’ll never be fixed, and this problem with it not matching his fantasy will only get worse over time.
Also i think base leblanc also looks ridiculous and is in the same boat.
IN GAME:
A new model + animations ofc! Hood toggle, + extra animation variants when vaulting over stuff. (over thin walls, thick walls, and side hops.) an idle knife flip. (oh and new splasharts ofc.) a new voice!! My current problem with the voice is that imo he sounds too old and deep, and also he suffers from being old (i hc him as between 23-25) and having few lines. Tbh i think talon would rock a raspy transmasc voice, or at least a raspy voice, prone to cracking bc he’s not super talkative.
random voice line ideas
New interactions with katarina, swain prolly, sett (as a treat) and ezreal. etc.
New joke response: “i dont get it” or “you talk too much.”
New taunt response: “be quiet.”
“Leave me alone” or “you’re annoying” after killing someone.
“I can climb that” when seeing sett or other eligible champs, both masc and fem. bisexual energy.
Lots of vocalizations. “Hah,” hrmphs, occasional “hm.”
A focus on shorter, more straightforward sentences as opposed to long wordy ones.
he will trigger more voicelines when by himself (for eg: in the jg) as opposed to around other champions. (yes im dreaming big.)
as an 'away from people or in the jg' voiceline: whistling. not like a tune or anything, just a few notes.
LORE:
Okay this is the really big one. I’m just gonna go all over the place.
Step 1: make him aro. MAKE HIM ARO. it doesn't need to be a big reveal or anything. Actually it’d be better if all of talon’s lore was lowkey. It can just be smth mentioned or implied on the side, but canon nonetheless. I hc him as bi too but the aro is way more important to me. WHILE WE'RE AT IT. riot please release an aromantic pride icon pls. every year i foolishly hope.
Step 2: i’d also make him trans. This isn’t a hard need for me but it makes his story/character stronger. Also i think its great to have open lgbt rep but i would like rep for people who are stealth too. Talon would be that. He likes to blend in, he likes to be unknown and invisible, he doesn’t want too much attention and he wants to be perfect. It’s pretty on the nose. I know people would be mad bc like, noo he wasn’t trans before, but i just dont care. My ideal talon is trans or at least gnc/nb-coded if amab. Also while we’re at it i’d also either give him autism with my autism ray-gun, or i’d just make him autism-coded. It just fits him. I think he realistically has anxiety and prolly some other personality disorder, if not a touch of tism.
Step 3: make the timeline of events around when he was adopted all the way to the kat comic more definite. Like how old was he when he was ‘adopted?’ (imo at least 13 but i can explain in a not already super long post pfpfpf). Retcon some of the kat comic. I think the most annoying part of it is how much he talks. I think riot thinks he’s like, a boring character, but he’s not. He’s just a NUANCED character. There are many different assassins in league that fit specific niches. (zed is evil shadow ninja assassin, akali is rogue wildcard assassin, pyke is the crazed executioner, yone is righteous, fizz is silly, katarina is proud and showy.) talon is already supposed to fit the most typical ‘assassin niche.’ like assassins creeds. Just let him be that. You don’t have to make him talk a ton, just amplify what’s already there. He’s a perfectionist, he does things in the most efficient way, he’s got layers and abandonment issues, and i think something that’s overlooked by riot is how he’s prolly a victim of manipulation and abuse. In fact i’d make that very clear, even by revealing that talon can’t read. That would already mean smth is up.
In terms of the kat comic: Cut out the whole part where talon monologues like an idiot at the end. While we’re at it, have kat kill the king, not that other guy. I think its a more interesting tie in and adds more character conflict. I actually hate how ‘good’ katarina was in the comic like she can afford to have more awfulness and then visibly grow out of it. Idc. continuing, i’d make it so that talon really thought marcus left, and then marcus returns just before the kat comic events and manipulates talon into trying to kill her. Idk this makes so much more sense to me i dont know why they had talon know about it the whole time, as if it didn’t kill his entire story that we’d been following for years. Like it was such an easy change to still respect what story he already had??? IT MAKES ME MAD. It also allows talon to have more obvious conflict with killing kat, bc their sibling connection improves in marcus' absence.
ALSO i like his scar in the kat comic but i’d like it differently instead of straight down. I feel like eye scars are pretty like, they all look the same yk. Can we vary it up or maybe give him a few more. He’s so pretty in the kat comic but he deserves more scars.
Also, in his high noon story i would not have fucking talon dish out the expository dialogue again. I love that story but it makes me mad how he just word vomits this whole story. Just put that shit at the beginning and leave him out of it. Or maybe find some way to explain that doesn’t involve clumsy paragraphs of expository dialogue. Sorry, no hate to the author but i think a character reciting a whole fable to someone is amateurish, lazy, and a disservice to his character. I would also make him and Yone the protagonists of high noon gothic as an au. Ive been meaning to make a post about it but they parallel each other very nicely. A demon going holy and a good man going hellish.
If i could i would legit canon-ship him with sett or with akshan. But thats ofc very indulgent and relies on setup.
uhhh extra bits that im thinking of:
retcon the going to shurima after failing to kill kat bit. i want him to fester. i would rather him be totally lost for a second and observe the wreckage of his lost family.
imo he never meets cass or soreana, because he enters the family in his teens when they're both already in shurima.
i think a really cool way to deliver talon's lore would be via other champ lore that happens to have him in it. with a consistent voice you'd be able to piece him together while still maintaining the theme of him being on the outside, lowkey.
OH I'D CHANGE HIS ICON BTW. his character icon doesn't look like him. dear god. dark brown hair pls, amber eyes. let it be so.
if i could i would strengthen the anarchistic themes he has going on in his skin lines. yeah let him go apeshit why not. let him be a thorn. let him break apart.
im pretty sure he's canonically short (looked the same size as kat in the comic) but if not. he is now. sorry bud.
oh as a final note. right now his parents are just Gone. but i would make sure that they abandoned him. its the strongest way to cause him to attach to marcus.
there's probably more but i really can't remember rn and its already so long. my god. thanks for this ask tho it was very fun to answer omg. if i ever become a famous author id beg riot to let me write smth for him. a novella or smth like garen first strike.
and ofc to reiterate, these are just my opinions. people can have their own versions of talon for sure, its all ok!
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veggiefritterz · 8 months
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eh, whatever, ill cut this one off. for mine and everyone elses sanity
nothings for my benifit and im starting to realise that. i should have picked up on it sooner, but i just trust people a bit too easy i think.
e dot g dot you need to come up and visit for your sisters benefit. hello yeah hi so uh i get that and all but how about my benifit
now not to sound like a dick because yes im worried and shit its my own sister but also shes been unconscious for a week. i have not and have witnessed every part of her "healing journey" (wild. why dont i get one...)
another e dot g dot is welcome to [REDACTED] we are here to help you work through your issues with [REDACTED 2] and then, funny this. so funny. the having to engage with this makes it all worse. i dont wanna think about that shit, ok. dont make me :( big ol sad and sobbing at that
totes unrelated actually but erm some of the shit ive been subjected to would have anyone who didnt use 7 vpns tor browser and a stolen laptop on a government watch list. have you heard of run the gauntlet. do not google it. do not engage with it. ive been made to see (most of?) that shit (and similar) and fuckin hell man it aint fun! i would rather taste my own piss. slash ess are ess.
this was also. ummmmm hang on mathsing. 3 years and maybe 2ish months ago so youd think it could stop being a parasite but nope apparently it doesnt work like that i. hm. weird!
i may have ptsd
not self diagnosing the doctor did say that perhaps a year and a half ago perhaps more recently i cant fucking remember!
is it still ptsd if its multiple somewhat related things or is that cptsd. im genuinely curious how do i google this
how the fuck do i get off topic im talking to myself
this is a soliloquy yall im shakespearing the shit outta myself its great
lady macbeth /hj
i think i will shut the fuck up now. sorry to anyone and everyone ive hurt cause of this sheeat sincirely i think about it a lot
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almond-tofu-chan · 7 months
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i have never been angrier in my entire fucking life, it is taking every fiber of my being to not actually punch someone right now /srs
so this fucking show im assistant directing, WAS assistant directing, i quit because it was hell. the director is this piece if shit entitled bitch who doesnt know or care how to run a good show. i signed up to assistant direct, ended up babysitting a bunch of kids from four to six every day five days a week. while i was doing the job I DIDNT SIGN UP TO DO i was verbally berated, abused, mistreated, and taken advantage of at every possible corner. when i learned tech week would be till eight i fucking quit
heres where i get fucking pissed: the kids were amazing. theyre a bunch of talented, bright actors who are absolutely lovely, and for most of them this is their first show. i understandably feel awful for quitting, plus the bitch director hates me nowc but i show up to opening night to cheer them on
i want to kill this woman
kids are crying, shes yelling at them backstage constantly, lighting and sound cues dont work, choreo and blocking are nonexistent, so are props and costumes and set: everything needed to make a show a show is absent or so shoddily put together that it genuinely looked like it was going to fall apart
and the kids are amazing, they do so well with what theyre given and theyre so good and talented and im serious when i say theyre all gonna go far, if it werent for the fucking director
show starts 20 minutes late because she hasnt finished playbills, curtains are see through and on yhe verge of collapse at all times, they're doing this show in a HIGH SCHOOL CAFETERIA btw, all the costumes she got yesterday from thriftsmart, she got kids ti make all the props and set and it shows, and she never told crew what to do, so shes yelling at them constantly while giving them no direction at all. a crew kid is forced on stage at one point to turn on someones mic, he was crying
i had to comfort no less than four crying kids afterwards, all sobbing because she had yelled at them and berated them for no goddamn reason other than the thrill of the power trip
oh and btw, the second the show ended she disappeared. didnt talk to parents, cast, crew, just fucking dipped.
and you know what? im going to the show tomorrow too. i fucking quit because i forsaw this shit was going to happen, but no way in hell am i just gonna watch while these kids that i love suffer. fucking survivors guilt is a thing, and i want to kill her for making me kill myself for this goddamn show
i wouldnt be surprised if these kids hate theatre now. theyre all a bunch of talented, starry eyed young impressionable kids who she is using for her own power trips and abuse, and shes probably ruining theatre for them forever. shes hurting the people i love and forcing me to get involved again when i had already gotten out. seriously, fuck this shit, im so mad. you hurt me thats one thing. you hurt my kids? fuck you, seriously go fuck yourself.
sorry for the long fucking post, this show is so fucking awful i havent even talked about a quarter of the shit going on, theres so goddamn much of it
ill be fine, i just had so much fucking work to do this weekend that i cant get done now because of this goddamn show. if she directs the show next year i will actually kill someone, i hope she dies slowly and painfully /srs
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e17omm · 25 days
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Ranting about Natlan part 2 (act 2)! Whohooooo god I am dying from heat.
Its actually not all negative this time. Its less just ranting and more thoughts of the Archon quest.
I ramble at the lack of stakes or tension at the end. That part's actually me venting frustrations.
TL:DR; quest is disappointing because it could have gone in a very fresh and tense direction but it doesnt because this is 2024 Hoyo.
Music is chill nice vacation music.
Conversation is about the country's constant war with a cunning immaterial enemy that has been fighting them for 500 years.
Nice to see that Hoyo completely succeeds at tone. (Sarcastic)
2. PREDICTION TIME! Kachina is actually gonna stay dead because the resurrection thing is gonna fail and Im meant to feel sad because this character that speedran her character arc in 1 hour and that I've only known for that hour is dead.
3. Traveller casually knows the song????
4. what a surprise! Kachina is (supposedly) dead. My money's on that she was captured or is hiding or something.
She "died" off-screen and Ive known her for an hour. Come on.
5. Oh? We're gonna investigate with the Archon, Mondstadt style? Im game.
I still dont care about Kachina, because again, Ive barely met her. But investigating with the Archon has been a while. I welcome it.
6. Damn, Mauvika just beat the shit out of him. The fight did turn into flying anime line battle, but the music was jamming.
7. aaah damn we arent gonna be investigating with the Archon. Shame. That would've been fun.
8. Did the Pyro Archon legit just send us to go to the Night Kingdom with a stone we can only use if one guy happens to be at the settlement at the time and we can find these fetch quest items he needs?
Who wrote this script? The Archon talked as if she had a way to go to the Night place and she doesnt? ANd now we are on a fetch quest to eat up time? Come on.
9. EVERYONE has sob stories in Natlan jesus christ.
I just wanna clarify that theres nothing wrong with sobstories in themselves, but they wont make me care about a character unless it actually matters to the story.
10. Man I hoped they would be pissed that we broke the thingy. Fucking Hell Hoyo games needs to have character conflict brought back.
11. oh we are going with the Archon... Oh yeah nevermind ignore point 8. I write these points as Im playing.
12. Oh I almost forgot, but yeah Kachina is alive. No surprise there.
13. Pyro Archon is a bitchass mf. Venti can barely fight and he still traveled with us. You can fight and you're not coming with us? Lame. (Im being half serious here)
14. This friendship and fighting with my friends arc feels incredibly cheap. Probably because its been 4 hours long.
15. and we ALMOST had an incredibly interesting plot direction.
Almost.
Hoyo keeps doing these fakeouts that I am actually yawning. Unironically, Im yawning. Whenever anything doesnt go to plan something always saves us. This happens in every one of their Honkaiverse games now. You can do a fakeout here and there, but not every time.
I hope someone understands my boredom with this. I lean back in my chair and go "and SURELY no one will burst in and save us from being trapped in the Abyss for more than 5 seconds, aaaaand there's the Pyro Archon. (yawn)" because it has happened so many consecuative times by now that its not tense or exciting any more.
16. I feel like Natlan would've been such a good story if we didnt JUST arrive here. It feels like there is a lot of sentimentality here, but I dont get invested in flashbacks and sob stories.
17. People claiming that the Traveler is just a spectator so its fine if they dont get stronger or have a character are sure is quiet after this quest.
This quest was pretty disappointing. Again, repeating myself over and over, but Natlan's biggest issue is that its the 6th region and Hoyo's baits never land so I've stopped grabbing at them.
You know what would have been a plot development that would have rekindled the fire of excitement inside of me? If we ACTUALLY got trapped in the Abyss, instead of having another bait of literally anything bad happening to anyone ever.
Can you imagine the plot if we got trapped in the Abyss for an extended period of time and had to survive and scavange for things to eat while trying to retain our sanity as we search for a way out?
Wouldn't that be fresh and exciting and something we haven't seen before?
But that would be something bad happening to our characters and we cant have that! No no boys and girls, nothing bad ever happens to the heroes! But we will sure keep baiting that it will happen! Are you still nibbing at the baits? Are you still worried for them? We will never actually do it but we will keep casting baits!
I want to be proven wrong so fucking badly you dont understand. Hoyo used to write stories I actually got invested in because at any moment, with a few wrong moves, something bad could happen to the characters. Not even death! In the [Seele] cinematic, Bronya could have been trapped in the Sea of Quanta and Seele would have had to go back in to pull her out (which is what she does, but it could have been a 1-chapter arc if Hoyo wanted to). But moments like that never happens any more.
We could have been trapped in the Abyss for an extended period of time before Mauvika found and rescued us and everyone could have escaped with their lives!
But NO! Instead we find Kachina right away, solve a small part of the problem, get baited with being trapped there before instantly being rescued and Kachina gets treated right away and SHES PERFECTLY FINE. THEY BAITED HER DEATH EARLIER TOO.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHY IM NOT FUCKING WORRIED ABOUT ANYONES LIVES?!
IF THERE WAS ANY CONSEQUENCE AND ANY STAKES AT ALL KACHINA WOULD AT LEAST HAVE BEEN AFFECTED FOR A FEW DAYS BUT NO, SHES PERFECTLY FINE.
WHY SHSOAJD =IA^SPE DHUja9o'
Why should I care when the result is ALWAYS that everyone is perfectly fine and happy?
No one would have even needed to die or been permanently injured. But we get saved instantly.
Where's the tension and stakes supposed to be?
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nyuclearic · 4 months
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little rant cuz i need to let this off of my chest
i hate people so much and i hate life rn. i especially hate my mom she pisses me off so much and no one fucking understands i dont like socializing or talking some of the time i just feel drained and i wanna sob and my head fucking hurts so bad i wish i could just rot in my room without anyone bothering me
and like i hate when i dont know what to say like if someone talks to me i have. a problem i dont know how to respond and it makes me angry at myself bevause i dont wanna respond poorly, or make it seem like idc or that im dry like i do care i just cant fucking conversate normaly i rely on other people to do it
ive also been havjng memories i wish i could just forget i hate it
i feel badbecause i get angry, annoying/irratated fast and it isnt the persons fault its mine i just feel. shitty
i feel like i always have to be the silly fun friend whos always upbeat like thats been my role but its getting tiring
im tired
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mrstsung · 9 months
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Ask game time!
Original post:
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who’s your main(s)? (character you play as most often): in most mk games i play shang tsung,kung lao,scorpion,or raiden. The rest i can wing it with but those i can get down quicker than the others on the roster.
who’s your favorite character(s)?: shang tsung(big fat duuuuh!) Kung lao(my first videogame crush,so him baby),scorpion(hanzo hasashi is the only scorpion i will die on that hill). Those 3 are my top 3 faves.
what character do you think is underrated?: honestly,shinnok. I don't understand why he isn't utilized more and better. It's honestly sad and a waste of potential. Although i can say this for a majority of characters especially the "villains" or bosses. It's honestly a crime. A close 2nd is maybe onaga. Like god damn man he could have been so fucking cool.
what character do you think is overrated?: dont hate me but. Liu kang. Specifically fire god liu kang. Like don't get me wrong i love liu just tye very specific one i have in my head. Like i feel the story revolved too much around him. It was worse than johnny cage and the bladedashians and special forces trying to take center stage. And that was awful. But sadly,how they did liu kang was worse because they could have wrote it better. In fact it felt like it was leaning into liu becoming what he hated and we could have had shang tsung,lao and raiden teaming up to stop liu. Liu realized what he has done and then stop the bigger bad and exile and atone for what he's done? I mean holy shit man talk about waste of potential.
character you hate having to fight against?: ok you mean in game or as if i was actually in mortal kombat? Well. Gamewise,i still get scared fighting shao kahn,even if he isn't at his best. It's still scary. Look childhood gamer trauma rage is a bitch. (Looking at you mk:sm/mortal kombat shaolin monks for the ps2!) But one I'd be scared to fight irl would be a bit of everyone but shang tsung. Oh not because he could kick my ass,that's a given. But the fact that soul snatching sexy sob would know i like him...a lot. And that magic is scary af man come on. He can shapeshift,shoot flaming skulls,suck my...soul. with 500+yrs of martial arts experience. Wtaf,how could you not piss your pants in terror?! But anyways. Shao kahn overall tho. (Fucking bastard owes me still)
how did you get into the series?: mortal kombat shaolin monks for the ps2. But shortly after that i started to play the og arcades more. Mk2 to be specific. Then i saw the mk 95 movie. Good shit,even to this day. Mk could learn a thing or two about its roots but that would require nrs to give a fuck.
what was the first entry you played?: see above.
favorite entry in the series?: mk shaolin monks. Mk2. Somewhat of deadly alliance. Maybe 3 or 4 but im very picky with it. As much shit as i gave mk11,I'd rather take it than mk12/mk1(2023) fr. The only good thing about it is shang tsungs voice actor,and even then i just am sad how they've done things. Not even for blorbo is it worth the money or investment.
favorite entry-specific (re)design, if you have one?: honestly i prefer mk11 aesthetic wise minus a few personal nitpicks. But overall visually it's beautiful. So yeah. Mk12/mk1(2023) all it has is aesthetics and none of the spirit of mk. Honestly it feels like one big joke or excuse to do a movie cheaply as possible. I dont know man,i just am sad about mortal kombats current state. If you were an old fan like myself,you'd understand. Im not saying some things aren't interesting ideas,i just feel the execution of said ideas have been piss poor and some things honestly should have stayed in drafts. I feel they are trying too hard rn to be "relevant" and not give out a good story. Or just reinventing their own lore....AGAIN. and it's annoying at this point. So much many people are making their own lore and shit because canon lore sucks. The world Building in mk has never been solid and thats it all weakest point imho.
favorite canon ship?: i only do self shipping. I dont care for canon ships. Or canon x canon ships.
favorite non canon ship?: same thing as above.
if you could pick a guest character, who would you pick? (can be as detailed as you want here): duke nukum. It's about fucking time. But they'd butcher him now. So im not sure.
if you could pick a character from any of the earlier entries to bring back, who would you choose?: honestly they need to get their story right before adding any characters to the roster otherwise to me its lip service. But I'd love bo rai cho to return. Plz. For the love of elder gods,can i have funny drunken master back?!
which do you prefer doing first/more: completing the story mode or completing towers?: honestly if local play/ vs mode is shit. Towers and storymode mean nothing. If you can't 1v1 your friends in the same room. I dont want it. But I'd play towers above storymode. I'd love storymode more. If the story was actually good or consistent or konsistent in this case ;) . But fr in all seriousness,nrs NEEDS to get their head in the game anf out or corporate ass,if they wanna see this not blow up in their face once hype dies down and people move on to something else. Which it will happen. And is happening.
favorite fatality?: honestly i fucking love shang tsung soul swapping inside the opponent and exploding/killing them from the inside. Fucking simple but badass af. Like fr imagine seeing that shit irl,terrifying. Which is what we need. It's so extra. But it fits. Other than that. There isn't many fatalities i dont like. Cept mk11 johnny cage but thats because it goes on too damn long. We get it johnny!
favorite stage?: honestly shang's throne room,warrior shrine,the deadpool,and visually? Shirai-Ryu fire gardens. Absolutely stunning.
favorite stage theme / ost?: all of mk(original),mk2,and mk shaolin monks tracks are the best. Mk shaolin monks for atmospheric ambiance. The og arcades the first mk and mk2 for absolute bops. Tho deadly alliance has good dance and tencho edm vibes. Tho everyone can kollectively agree that the og theme is the best. Come on man!
opinion on any of the non-game media? (the live action films, mk legacy, the animated mk legends films, etc): ok mk95. Still is the goat for a reason. Mk legends films are good visual and animation wise but story is too fast paced for my taste. And can be better but still ironically,better than the current games storywise. I hate to say it but yeah. Honestly they haven't made and non game media for me that really speaks to me yet. But if they do. I'll let ya know.
skin / kosmetic you want to be in mk1?: dont care for mk12/mk1. But if they could bring back mk9 shang red robe jammies for shang that would be appreciated. Give me that much plz.
do you prefer hanzo hasashi or kuai liang as scorpion?: if you say anything else but hanzo hasashi you need to log off and not talk to me ever again. Hanzo hasashi IS SCORPION. anyone says otherwise is not a mk fan. Period. I will fight you!
which character reveal for mk1 shocked you the most?: like i said. I do not care for the new game. It's more pissing me off that shang tsung who has been a staple for mk is reduced to dlc. Twice. And you can't even get him rn in the new game less you got money or pre order codes or some shit. And that's why i feel that the new game is shit. Because you shouldn't have to pay money for a half baked game. For a character you should have already had. Especially if they are a main focus in the storymode. So yeah. Nothing shocks me.
have you ever cosplayed an mk character? if you haven’t, would you want to, and who would you choose?: i have. I have done 95 shang tsung. And am going to do a genderbent fem hanzo hasashi scorpion (THE ONLY SCORPION IS HANZO I WILL STILL STATE THIS. ONCE AGAIN!) soon. So stay tuned. Future cosplays I'd love to do is fujin,kung lao,kitana,and a genderbent Johnny cage (jenny cage?)
do you have any cool merch? (figures, posters, shirts, etc): got some cool shirts and a few cosplays and little stuff like that. Pendents. But i wanna get some figures but holy shit dudes it's expensive. Oof. But some day. Some day. I will obtain that scorpion figure. Some day. Wish they had shang tsung merch more. Ugh.
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blackvail22 · 9 months
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he literally called me right after i posted my last post
i need to erase my attachment issues so bad
he played with his friends first so he'd have more time with me
ohhhmygod im so annoying LMAO
oh
he got upset w me because i told him he can choose what we play since he only has 2 games on his computer currently and i have neither (after he said he would download a game yesterday to play w me and then didnt) so i suggest roblox (because it takes less time to download) and he is making me anxious bcos i feel like i did something wrong
a slight tone raise and im sobbing on the floor JUSTTT like friday LMAOOOO
its okay
he's not upset with me
hes not upset with me
(if its this exhausting to talk to me or play a game, why did he agree to it? people do it all the time... im sorry im such a bother, damn)
he got my hopes up and im so sad about it man... its just a game but its one i love and he said "noooo im not getting itttt" YOU SAID YOU WERE THOUGH whatever its fine he can do what he wants anyway
OKAY ANYWAYYY we watched anime together and everything was fine teheheh
im so overly sensitive recently... like, its gotten reallllyyyyy bad LMAOOO
he's not bad, i promise! im just an overthinker and have been more fragile recently ^^ (im so incredibly tired of this roller coaster of emotions right after another. its making my question what i really feel, and its making me want to isolate myself... i get bruised easier than a peach... like, just now, i am literally making myself upset just talking about it. i only have three feelings: numb, depressed, or overjoyed. no fucking inbetween i swear to god... its pissing me off)
anyway! he didnt sleep like i told him to yesterday so he's been up for an ungodly amount of time (its been over two days) so! i hope he finally gets some rest :(
he gets really messed up when he stays up like that... i hope he takes care of himself more... he doesnt really open up about how he's feeling, and by not really i mean he only has like twice, so! its easy for me to worry about him
same with you, though... it feels like im always the main focus and it makes me upset sometimes? but whenever we talk about you i dont know what to say or how to properly respond to what you say....
maybe... i dont want to say "its for the best" but like i dont know ... i like when people open up--i just dont know how to hold a conversation
anyways im going to 100% clean my room more (im tired and anxious and want to make my boyfriend proud because he tells me a lot i need to clean my room so maybe if i do it finally he'll be happy for me)
i really just want him to compliment me honestly
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pinkseas · 1 year
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[parasocial bestie] GOOD MORNING BESTIE I HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD REST THAN BEFORE that uneven sleep pattern sucks so bad i felt fr either waking up outta nowhere or having a hard time sleeping no matter how hard you try GRRRGHHH anyway i saw ur tier list and i just cackled so true babygirls everywhere BUT THATS NOT THE ENTIRE POINT bc it kind of genuinely caught me. when u put yae at cunt right next to ei and since i read on your impression on ei im kinda curious,....
dunno if its worth talking about but if its the same /neg then :handshake: im ngl she is a lil Eh to me for so many reasons, even if she played the good guys role theres a hecka lot to just feel Pissed on thats excused with her foxy mama behavior. yeah i know cunning yeah i know easy to tease the easily teased YEAH I KNOW SCANDALOUS SHIZ. anyway there's more to say that might as well fall into a petty essay but i do wanna know ur impression on her!! if its ok if not das oke too!! (i hav this lil thing regarding. something. idk how to sum it up without going on another paragraph. keyword post-xiaodeadgebrainrot, scnezhnaya, tsaritsa hc das all subscribe to my channel to hear more)
clicking the everloving FUCK out of the subscribe button as we speak
I HOPE UR HAVING A GOOD NIGHT BESTIE i cannot lie to u i slept So Poorly but thats okay bc i will probably take a nap bc i dont have work today god bless <3 we r shaking hands in mad sleeping problems fr fr
I FEEL SO BAD HATING ON CHARACTERS I KNOW MY FRIENDS LIKE OR LOVE DORRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY its just. well. i was calling yae a cunt in the context of 3.7 being the babygirl banner and then correcting myself to say 3 babygirls and one cunt and then i was like hmmm if i had to sort them into those categories. and yae and ei go hand in hand for me in so many ways and suddenly there was a tierlist and. yeah :sob:
UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM so the thing is right. i know loads abt ei bc of the whole. yknow. archon and her two story quests and sm of inazuma revolving around her and learning abt her and etc etc. but i know So Fawking Little about yae comparatively. like the bare minimum of information on her. i havent done her story quest yet either i just. erm. well.
it is Entirely Petty on my end like part of it is literally just the association with ei and the fact that she cares sm about her that makes me hate her more than i already did, part of it is just How She Was in the inazuma story quests i did NOT like her there at all, part of it is just her overall Vibes which i hate so bad... "even if she played the good guys role theres a hecka lot to just feel Pissed on thats excused with her foxy mama behavior" THIS LITERALLY THIS !!!!!!!! idk honest to god at the end of the day she just irritates me in a very non-serious manner and i love being a hater <3333333333 like w/ ei the reason is VERY personal and very extensive but with yae its so shallow comparatively its a Little Funny tbh
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placentafluid · 4 years
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guys my mom thinks im a witch
#IM PISSING AHDHFJSHJD#ok so shes mormon right#so like anything with crystals or runes or fancy witch candles n shit she just steers clear#well sh has my phone and she 'plugged it in hehe just to be kind!'#and she saw my youtube notifications? and i follow a couple of witches like nikewitchwarrior right#IM SOBBING SHE LOOKS SO DISAPPOINTED AHGAHAGSHA#either that or she saw that im subscribed to ted talks#like what am i gonna do. cmon sue what the hell am i gonna get to do under this household. i cant watch good omens because they say fuck.#i cant listen to music that i genuinely want to listen to without being guilt tripped to HELL#i DONT have freedom of speech as much as she would like me to think i do. i dont.#i cant come out. in the sense that i do not trust these people. and im not allowed to wear clothes my mom doesnt approve of#for reference; she wouldnt let me wear anything that exposes my shoulders or jeans with rips in them. i have to rip jeans mysel#f#im not allowed to leave the house without her and/or dad. she HAS my license that i just got. i havent gone anywhere by myself.#she keeps pulling me in for talks abt whatever bothers her and expects me to be okay with them like they dont bring back any bad memories#no she like goes into my room makes herself comfortable says she doesnt like how i do anything and then smiles at me ad expects me to change#so i think!! maybe!!!! following a couple of witches/queer people on youtube!!  would be my own thing! yknow it would be a personal thing.#NO. i am at my limit with helicopter parents holy shit.  sorry this was meant to come off as playful and light but the more i think about it#jesus christ.#tw rant#tw ramble#unless she really DOES have a problem with ted talks JCKSHKFD
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bbybaku · 3 years
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cranky no nut november boyfriend shigaraki
yes i know its july. 
1.8 k words 
slow burn but there is smut 
warnings: angry shig, humiliation, degrading, oral (fem recieving), use of vibrator, shoes on bed, angst, fluff, mentions of masturbtion
your boyfriend, tomura shigaraki, had made a bet with his friends, about who could last the longest during no nut november.
you thought a month wouldn’t be that bad, right? you guys could handle it.
the first few days were nothing. you two were busy and didnt think that much of it. 
but the first weekend shiggy had invited you over to watch a movie. which was usually code for “let’s fuck”
you went over to his apartment, about 20 minutes into the movie you slipped your hand under the blanket, feeling around for his cock.
“hey” he said softly but irritated as he picked up your hand and moved it.
“what? we always-“ you asked
“i’m taking this month seriously, i can eat you out or something but we cant, you cant” he said
 you were not expecting him to take it this seriously.
you knew your boyfriend he never took anything seriously? why did he have to take this stupid month seriously.
“well, do you want?” he asked as he ran his fingers over your clothed clit.
“no let’s just hang out tonight” you said.
“okay” he said then kissed you on the head and pulled you into his lap.
you could feel his erection. but you knew you had to ignore it. 
week 2 was easy because shigaraki was out of town for a work trip.
you didn’t know how he was doing it. no sex was one thing, but not even masturbating?
you had been touching yourself every day to the thought of him, the pictures you had of him and sometimes 
the movies you had made together.
the night he got back he came straight to your apartment.
he looked pale.
you went in for a hug, but he pushed you away.
“no” he snapped “ i just wanted to see you”
you gulped “oh okay”
you cooked dinner and he told you about the trip.
the space between your thighs ached the entire evening.
you asked him to stay the night but he said he no.
and he left. 
it was day 15. you needed him. your hand could only do so much. you couldnt do what he could do. he knew your body better than you did. 
you texted him to hang out. 
the two of you got coffee then made out in the car. 
his mouth tasted so good. your body presses against the console, arms around his neck. the kiss starting equal but he very quickly shoved his tongue in your mouth. he took your jaw in his hand and held your face while his tongue circled yours. you sucked on his bottom lip. his hand found your tit. your hand found his crotch. 
shigaraki instantly pulled away, he was pissed “how many fucking times do i have to tell you no?” 
you sighed “im sorry i just-” 
he pushed his hair out of his face and took your jaw in his hand again. “look at me. i want to be inside of you so bad. i think about you all the time. i love you so much but we just cant right now.”
 his tone made you want him even more. it was embarrassing how hot you got  when he was irritated. and he knew it. 
“i hate this stupid challenge” you said through his grip on your jaw. 
“do you want to be like that?”  he talked down to you with a smirk.
“we can always go back to my apartment, and work on your attitude” he said letting go of your face and grabbing the gear shift. 
you had soaked through your panties a while ago. you were excited but knew you wouldnt be filled up the way you wanted to be. 
the drive to shiggys apartment was agonizing. the sexual tension was higher now than it was on your first date. it felt like you were getting stopped at every red light, the car in front of you was always going slow. and both of you were sweating. 
he had one hand rubbing your thigh and the other on the steering wheel, except at stops when he would run it through his shaggy hair. when he finally got to his apartment complex the two of you practically sprinted inside. 
“elevator?” you asked pressing the up button repeatedly. 
he took his hands out of his pockets and said “stairs” 
the two of you raced up to the fourth floor, you beat him but just barely. once both of you were in the hallway he picked you up and slung you over his shoulder.
once in his apartment he didnt even turn the lights on, he took you to his bed and threw you on it. 
he stood over you and sighed. “its your lucky day” he then pushed you up to the headboard and pulled off your panties. so eager, you were both still wearing shoes and the window was open. 
you shivered at the cold air on your exposed heat. 
shigaraki just stared for a minute. he loved vulnerability. 
he loved having you at his mercy. 
he pushed your skirt up and grabbed onto your thighs. 
“i knew you would be soaked.” he shook his head “such a whore” he said.
and just like that he dove right in.  
he licked up your folds and you bucked your hips to meet him. 
his grip on your thighs tightened and he pushed you into the bed.
“dont move” he met your eyes when he said it.
he started sucking hickies on your inner thighs, his fingers teasing at your clit. 
you held his head in your hands, not directing him, but rubbing his scalp. 
he occasionally hummed into your thighs at the feeling. 
he pulled off of your inner thigh and brought his mouth and nose to your entrance. you whimpered, expecting him to relieve your ache. 
he blew cold air on your exposed heat. 
you cried out. 
and shigaraki crawled up to meet you at eye level. 
he straddled you and leaned down “beg.” he whispered 
“please” you whispered
“i dont get anything for this. why should i be nice if i dont get the reward of your tight little pussy? or getting to fuck your pretty face. make it worth my while. give me this one little thing.  i said to beg like the whore you are.” 
you gulped. “please tomura. i touch myself to the thought of you every day and nothing satisfies me like you do. i just want you. i want you to fill me up and please let me come. please sir.” 
“hmm okay, i guess but its embarrassing that you touch yourself so much, you really are a whore.” he said as he repositioned his mouth at your entrance. 
he once again pinned your hips to the bed and brough his mouth to your entrance.
his long slender fingers ran through your folds a few times before stopping at your clit and rubbing circles. 
you moaned in pleasure, finally. shigaraki was relieving your ache. 
he sucked on your entrance and drank your juice like it was water from the tap. you could feel his tongue at your entrance, he tease then run his tongue through your folds. 
your entire body was shaking and the knot in your stomach was about to release. 
“please i - can i please” you whined. 
shikaraki hummed yes into you, his grip on your thighs tightening 
the hum was what sent your over the edge, your walls tightening and releasing around shigarakis mouth. 
he pulled off for a moment and looked at you “that was fast. youre so easy, y/n, you know that?” 
and at that he went right back to what he was doing, only this time it was his finger. at your entrace and his tongue on your clit. 
his tongue going all around and eventually stopping and making out with your bud. 
you were crying at the pleasure. 
his long fingers going in and out, and in and out. at no particular speed or regularity and occasionally stoping to curl inside you. 
your hands went to shiggys hair, but you couldnt control yourself the way you had earlier. your hands were shaking as the held onto his head.
you came again, it was so fast you didn’t even have the time to ask.
you could feel him smiling on you.
shigaraki pinched your thigh, acknowledging your high, but showed no sign of stopping.
he maneuvered a little bit, grabbing something under the bed while still fingering you. 
if you thought you were a mess before, you were wrong. because you were even more of a mess when shigaraki started rubbing around your clit with a vibrator. 
your back arched and you grabbed onto the sheets, so as not to pull on shiggys hair, “pleASE. m-gonna c--um” you barely got out. 
your lower body convulsing. 
tears started streaming down your face, it hurt so good. “dont cum yet, baby. i want you to wait this time. like i have to wait.” 
“no-oh-oh-o” you sobbed 
shigaraki mustve been getting irritated because his grip on you tightened, and he pinched your inner thigh. 
“please” you whimpered, running your fingers through his hair as gently as you could. 
“no” he said sweetly. 
your vision was starting to blur and you were still crying, “isnt this what you wanted darling?” shigaraki asked. 
you only sobbed in response, you were loosing the ability to form coherent sentences. 
the knot in your stomach released without warning, and you came on shigaraki’s vibrator. 
with that he sighed and stood up, going to the bathroom to help you clean up. 
despite your scattered brain, you knew your boyfriend well enough to know that he was in agony. 
“does it hurt?” you asked him between deep breaths. 
refering to how bad he wanted you, and how hard he was in his pants. 
he waled back in with a towel and said “yes” looking down at the ground. 
“well what if we” you started. 
“no, im tired of having to explain this to you.”
“please, i just want you so bad” you begged as he climbed on top pf you.
“i said no! just fucking shut up” he snapped
“why?" you whinned
he found your wrists and pinned your hands beside your head on the bed. 
“everyone gets a different penalty. do you know what mine is if i fail? huh? do you want to know”
"um i-” 
you went to speak but no words came out. 
shigaraki leaned down “my penalty is to send the group chat a video of us having sex” 
“oh” you said feeling yourself blush
he gulped and looked away “which i really dont want to do because you are mine.”
he released your wrists and fell on top of you, “youre all mine” 
“please just wait 2 more weeks” he whispered into your neck. 
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